1
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:13,818
[CLICKING]

2
00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:21,402
[#]

3
00:01:39,361 --> 00:01:41,759
[DOORBELL BUZZING]

4
00:01:50,049 --> 00:01:51,744
[DOOR OPENS]

5
00:01:52,865 --> 00:01:53,823
MAN:
Yes?

6
00:01:53,824 --> 00:01:54,783
Andrew Wyke?

7
00:01:54,784 --> 00:01:57,313
That's right.

8
00:01:57,314 --> 00:01:59,041
I'm Milo Tindle.

9
00:01:59,042 --> 00:02:01,664
Oh, yes. Good.

10
00:02:05,730 --> 00:02:07,137
Glad to meet you.

11
00:02:09,378 --> 00:02:11,617
You got the train to
Charlbury, did you?

12
00:02:11,618 --> 00:02:12,578
I drove.

13
00:02:12,579 --> 00:02:14,018
Oh, you drove?

14
00:02:14,019 --> 00:02:15,297
That's my car.

15
00:02:15,298 --> 00:02:17,282
Oh, the little
one?

16
00:02:17,283 --> 00:02:18,242
Not the big one.

17
00:02:18,243 --> 00:02:20,097
No. The big one's mine.

18
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,890
What do you
think of it?

19
00:02:25,762 --> 00:02:26,721
Very handsome.

20
00:02:26,722 --> 00:02:29,314
Yeah.
It is, isn't it?

21
00:02:32,005 --> 00:02:33,571
Come in.

22
00:02:38,373 --> 00:02:39,587
I was watching a video

23
00:02:39,588 --> 00:02:41,795
of one of my books
on television.

24
00:02:47,012 --> 00:02:48,964
Like the house?

25
00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:50,564
Extraordinary.

26
00:02:50,565 --> 00:02:51,844
You know who
designed it?

27
00:02:51,845 --> 00:02:54,276
Who the interior
decorator was?

28
00:02:54,277 --> 00:02:55,492
Yes.

29
00:02:55,493 --> 00:02:56,709
Your wife.

30
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,276
You knew?

31
00:02:58,277 --> 00:03:00,068
Yes, I knew.

32
00:03:00,069 --> 00:03:02,404
I'll show you
around later.

33
00:03:02,405 --> 00:03:04,229
Have a drink.
I'm drinking vodka.

34
00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:05,252
MILO:
Scotch, please.

35
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,789
ANDREW:
Scotch.

36
00:03:06,790 --> 00:03:09,221
Milo. What
an interesting name.

37
00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:10,533
You're a foreigner,
I take it?

38
00:03:10,534 --> 00:03:12,869
My father's
Italian.

39
00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:15,141
Milo sounds
Hungarian.

40
00:03:15,142 --> 00:03:17,286
Does it?

41
00:03:17,287 --> 00:03:19,141
Here's your Scotch.

42
00:03:21,767 --> 00:03:23,462
Cheers.

43
00:03:23,463 --> 00:03:24,902
Cheers.

44
00:03:26,823 --> 00:03:29,926
You sure your father
isn't Hungarian?

45
00:03:29,927 --> 00:03:31,078
Well, if he is,

46
00:03:31,079 --> 00:03:32,422
he's kept it a dead secret
for years.

47
00:03:32,423 --> 00:03:34,503
And your mother?

48
00:03:34,504 --> 00:03:35,559
English.

49
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:37,414
So you're a kind
of half-breed.

50
00:03:37,415 --> 00:03:39,174
Huh.
[DRY LAUGH]

51
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:40,390
Sit down.

52
00:03:44,073 --> 00:03:45,351
[CHUCKLES]

53
00:03:47,657 --> 00:03:49,672
Thanks for agreeing
to see me.

54
00:03:49,673 --> 00:03:50,984
Not at all.

55
00:03:50,984 --> 00:03:52,968
I didn't know you wrote plays
for television.

56
00:03:52,969 --> 00:03:55,560
I don't. I write crime novels.
You must know that.

57
00:03:55,561 --> 00:03:57,031
I had heard.

58
00:03:57,032 --> 00:03:58,953
But sometimes they're
adapted for television

59
00:03:58,953 --> 00:04:00,169
by other people.

60
00:04:00,170 --> 00:04:02,505
You know what the word
adapted means, I take it?

61
00:04:02,506 --> 00:04:04,425
Adapted?
Mm.

62
00:04:04,426 --> 00:04:06,568
They may not have
such a word in Italian.

63
00:04:06,569 --> 00:04:07,977
I speak English.

64
00:04:07,978 --> 00:04:09,481
Heh. Good.

65
00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:12,745
Come and have a look
at my, uh, special book room.

66
00:04:21,579 --> 00:04:23,434
These are
all my novels.

67
00:04:23,435 --> 00:04:25,513
You've read them,
I suppose?

68
00:04:25,514 --> 00:04:27,338
Afraid not.

69
00:04:27,339 --> 00:04:28,170
Good God. No?

70
00:04:28,171 --> 00:04:29,738
What about--
What about this one?

71
00:04:29,739 --> 00:04:31,914
<i>Rat in a Trap?
No.</i>

72
00:04:31,915 --> 00:04:32,778
<i>The Obelisk?</i>

73
00:04:32,779 --> 00:04:33,996
No.

74
00:04:33,997 --> 00:04:34,956
<i>Blackout?
No.</i>

75
00:04:34,957 --> 00:04:37,355
<i>Dead Fish?
Afraid not.</i>

76
00:04:37,356 --> 00:04:39,307
God, you're
one in a million.

77
00:04:39,308 --> 00:04:40,299
Am I?

78
00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,059
Oh, absolu--
I'm very popular.

79
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:44,299
You see
this shelf?

80
00:04:46,284 --> 00:04:47,467
Translations.

81
00:04:47,468 --> 00:04:50,891
French, Dutch, German.

82
00:04:50,892 --> 00:04:53,037
You speak Dutch
yourself, do you?

83
00:04:53,037 --> 00:04:54,349
Yes, how did you know?

84
00:04:54,350 --> 00:04:55,948
I have a Dutch uncle.

85
00:04:55,949 --> 00:04:57,996
Can't see any Italian
translations.

86
00:04:57,997 --> 00:05:00,205
No, they're a funny lot,
the Italians.

87
00:05:00,206 --> 00:05:02,188
Culture isn't really
their thing.

88
00:05:02,189 --> 00:05:03,852
Their salami's
good, though.

89
00:05:03,853 --> 00:05:04,844
Oh, is it?

90
00:05:04,845 --> 00:05:06,637
Italian salami?
Best in the world.

91
00:05:06,638 --> 00:05:08,363
Did you bring
any with you?

92
00:05:08,364 --> 00:05:09,837
No. I left it
at home.

93
00:05:09,838 --> 00:05:10,990
Oh, shame.

94
00:05:10,991 --> 00:05:12,621
We're gonna have it
for supper tonight.

95
00:05:12,622 --> 00:05:14,221
With a couple of bottles
of Valpolicella.

96
00:05:14,222 --> 00:05:15,373
We?

97
00:05:15,374 --> 00:05:17,069
Maggie and me.

98
00:05:17,070 --> 00:05:18,062
Ah.

99
00:05:18,063 --> 00:05:19,502
Your-- Your glass
is empty.

100
00:05:19,503 --> 00:05:21,325
What were you
drinking, vodka?

101
00:05:21,326 --> 00:05:23,533
Scotch.
Scotch.

102
00:05:34,607 --> 00:05:36,814
<i>I want to come
to the point.</i>

103
00:05:36,815 --> 00:05:38,734
<i>Point?
What point?</i>

104
00:05:38,735 --> 00:05:40,718
<i>Are you going to give
Maggie a divorce?</i>

105
00:05:40,719 --> 00:05:42,159
<i>And if not,
why not?</i>

106
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,119
<i>Uh, yeah,
yes, yes,</i>

107
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,655
<i>we'll come
to that.</i>

108
00:05:44,656 --> 00:05:46,735
<i>She thinks you're
being unreasonable.</i>

109
00:05:46,736 --> 00:05:48,432
<i>So do I.</i>

110
00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:50,128
<i>She's never coming
back to you,</i>

111
00:05:50,129 --> 00:05:51,664
<i>so why not just give her
the divorce?</i>

112
00:05:51,665 --> 00:05:53,647
<i>ANDREW: It'll do her good
to wait for five years.</i>

113
00:05:53,648 --> 00:05:55,055
<i>Good for
her character.</i>

114
00:05:55,056 --> 00:05:57,648
<i>You're going to make
her wait five years?</i>

115
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:58,672
<i>Well, that's
the law.</i>

116
00:05:58,673 --> 00:05:59,759
<i>The law of
the land.</i>

117
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,168
<i>But that's
pure spite.</i>

118
00:06:01,169 --> 00:06:03,985
<i>ANDREW: Anyway, we-- we'll
get back to that, perhaps.</i>

119
00:06:03,986 --> 00:06:04,977
<i>Have your
drink first.</i>

120
00:06:08,626 --> 00:06:10,865
<i>What do you do,
by the way?</i>

121
00:06:10,866 --> 00:06:12,529
<i>I'm
an actor.</i>

122
00:06:12,530 --> 00:06:14,993
<i>Good God.
Are you really?</i>

123
00:06:14,994 --> 00:06:16,913
<i>I thought Maggie said
you were a hairdresser.</i>

124
00:06:16,914 --> 00:06:18,097
<i>[MILO
SIGHS]</i>

125
00:06:18,098 --> 00:06:20,017
<i>She must have been
talking about someone else.</i>

126
00:06:20,018 --> 00:06:21,618
<i>You mean
another friend?</i>

127
00:06:21,619 --> 00:06:23,186
<i>Another
friend?</i>

128
00:06:23,187 --> 00:06:25,233
<i>She tends to have
more than one friend.</i>

129
00:06:25,234 --> 00:06:26,193
<i>Does she?</i>

130
00:06:26,194 --> 00:06:27,153
<i>Oh, yes.</i>

131
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,209
<i>I'm her
only friend.</i>

132
00:06:28,210 --> 00:06:29,522
<i>She must be
lonely.</i>

133
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,250
<i>She's not.</i>

134
00:06:31,251 --> 00:06:34,962
<i>Acting is a pretty precarious
profession, isn't it?</i>

135
00:06:34,963 --> 00:06:37,330
<i>What are you acting in
at the moment?</i>

136
00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:38,738
<i>I'm out of work.</i>

137
00:06:38,739 --> 00:06:40,307
<i>Poor chap.</i>

138
00:06:40,308 --> 00:06:43,156
<i>I drive cars now
and again, chauffeuring.</i>

139
00:06:43,157 --> 00:06:44,755
<i>Oh. Tough life.</i>

140
00:06:44,755 --> 00:06:47,347
<i>I keep my head
above water.</i>

141
00:06:47,348 --> 00:06:49,780
<i>What sort of parts
do you play?</i>

142
00:06:49,781 --> 00:06:52,883
Heh. Killers, mostly.

143
00:06:52,884 --> 00:06:55,956
Sex maniacs, perverts.

144
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,268
But you're
so charming.

145
00:06:57,269 --> 00:07:00,276
Yes, I know. Anyway,
what about this divorce?

146
00:07:00,277 --> 00:07:02,228
What's your position,
exactly?

147
00:07:02,229 --> 00:07:03,829
All in
good time.

148
00:07:13,174 --> 00:07:14,549
Come in.

149
00:07:21,526 --> 00:07:24,596
ANDREW: Have a seat.
Make yourself comfortable.

150
00:07:30,102 --> 00:07:33,046
I understand you're
fucking my wife.

151
00:07:33,047 --> 00:07:34,839
That's right.
Right.

152
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:36,598
Yes, right.

153
00:07:36,599 --> 00:07:38,166
So we've cleared
that up.

154
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:39,191
We have.

155
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,663
I thought you might
have denied it.

156
00:07:40,664 --> 00:07:42,934
Why would I deny it?
Well, she is my wife.

157
00:07:42,935 --> 00:07:44,534
Yes. But she's fucking me.

158
00:07:44,535 --> 00:07:46,902
Oh, she's fucking you too, huh?
Well, I'll be buggered.

159
00:07:46,903 --> 00:07:48,536
Ha-ha. Sorry.

160
00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:49,719
Yes, it's mutual.

161
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,415
You take turns?
We fuck each other.

162
00:07:51,416 --> 00:07:53,496
That's what people do--
Yeah, yeah, um...

163
00:07:53,497 --> 00:07:54,328
I follow.

164
00:07:58,041 --> 00:07:58,840
We're in love.

165
00:07:58,841 --> 00:08:00,696
You're in love?

166
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:01,880
That's right.

167
00:08:06,106 --> 00:08:07,096
Let me top you up.

168
00:08:07,097 --> 00:08:07,833
[BOTTLE ROLLS]

169
00:08:16,217 --> 00:08:19,001
I heard a rumor that
you wanted to marry her.

170
00:08:19,002 --> 00:08:20,153
That can't be true,
can it?

171
00:08:20,154 --> 00:08:22,104
Why not?
In this day and age,

172
00:08:22,105 --> 00:08:24,250
is marriage absolutely
necessary?

173
00:08:24,251 --> 00:08:26,042
Isn't it a bit old hat?
Is it?

174
00:08:26,043 --> 00:08:27,226
It's a mug's game.

175
00:08:27,227 --> 00:08:28,762
I wouldn't go near it
if I were you.

176
00:08:28,763 --> 00:08:29,978
Anyway, you can't
marry her.

177
00:08:29,979 --> 00:08:31,514
You can't marry her
because she's married to me.

178
00:08:31,514 --> 00:08:33,850
Unless I divorce her,
of course.

179
00:08:33,851 --> 00:08:34,905
And are you?

180
00:08:34,906 --> 00:08:36,057
Am I what?

181
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,273
Going to divorce her?

182
00:08:37,274 --> 00:08:38,970
Or are you really gonna
make her wait five years?

183
00:08:38,971 --> 00:08:40,378
She wants to know.

184
00:08:40,379 --> 00:08:42,234
To be honest,
I can't wait.

185
00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:43,963
But there are
one or two things

186
00:08:43,964 --> 00:08:45,787
I'd like to
clear up first.

187
00:08:45,788 --> 00:08:47,227
For example...

188
00:08:47,228 --> 00:08:50,235
I've never heard of
an Italian called Tindle.

189
00:08:50,236 --> 00:08:51,931
My father's name
is Tindolini.

190
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,180
Now, that's
lovely.

191
00:08:53,181 --> 00:08:55,195
That's like a l-- little bell.
[CHUCKLES]

192
00:08:55,196 --> 00:08:56,795
Why don't you go back
to Tindolini?

193
00:08:56,796 --> 00:08:58,843
It suits you.
You think so?

194
00:08:58,844 --> 00:09:01,916
Yes. So if and when
you marry Maggie,

195
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,220
she'll be Maggie
Tindolini.

196
00:09:04,221 --> 00:09:07,291
Do you get a kick out of that? Mm.

197
00:09:07,292 --> 00:09:08,188
What name do you
act under?

198
00:09:08,189 --> 00:09:09,724
Tindle or Tindolini?

199
00:09:09,725 --> 00:09:11,804
Tindle.
Why have I never heard of you?

200
00:09:11,805 --> 00:09:13,244
You will...before long.

201
00:09:13,245 --> 00:09:15,196
Really?
In spades.

202
00:09:15,197 --> 00:09:16,957
That sounds threatening.
Does it?

203
00:09:16,958 --> 00:09:17,982
Doesn't it?

204
00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:23,677
Why don't we get down
to brass tacks?

205
00:09:23,678 --> 00:09:25,885
Brass tacks, yes.
Why not?

206
00:09:27,774 --> 00:09:28,829
This is the way
I see it.

207
00:09:31,742 --> 00:09:32,989
Come upstairs.

208
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,454
I want to
show you something.

209
00:09:35,455 --> 00:09:37,087
[#]

210
00:09:40,126 --> 00:09:41,535
Are you all right
in elevators?

211
00:09:45,216 --> 00:09:47,422
It won't make you sick
or anything, will it?

212
00:10:00,608 --> 00:10:02,496
ANDREW:
This is our bedroom.

213
00:10:06,112 --> 00:10:07,487
And this...

214
00:10:09,505 --> 00:10:11,169
is my wife's
dressing room.

215
00:10:13,409 --> 00:10:14,944
She left
a few dresses.

216
00:10:14,945 --> 00:10:16,961
Couldn't be bothered
to pick them up.

217
00:10:16,962 --> 00:10:18,177
They're worth
thousands.

218
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:20,352
Thousands.

219
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,953
This leather coat
alone,

220
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:23,937
worth 5000 quid.

221
00:10:23,938 --> 00:10:25,536
So you see,
the thing is this.

222
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:26,816
Uh...sit down.

223
00:10:30,243 --> 00:10:31,329
The thing is this:

224
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:32,801
My wife spends money
like water,

225
00:10:32,802 --> 00:10:34,690
so if you're
not careful,

226
00:10:34,691 --> 00:10:35,842
she'll eat you

227
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,250
out of house
and home.

228
00:10:37,251 --> 00:10:39,042
She was born
to luxury, you know.

229
00:10:39,043 --> 00:10:40,962
Jamaica, the Ritz,
the Swiss Alps.

230
00:10:40,963 --> 00:10:42,306
What are you?

231
00:10:42,307 --> 00:10:44,769
Out-of-work actor,
part-time chauffeur.

232
00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:46,211
You're out of
your depth, old boy.

233
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,811
You're on a hiding
to nothing.

234
00:10:47,812 --> 00:10:48,995
If you think
you're broke now,

235
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,882
you'll be
10 times broker

236
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,867
by the time she's
finished with you.

237
00:10:52,868 --> 00:10:54,787
She'll have your guts
for garters.

238
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:55,843
[CHUCKLES]

239
00:10:55,844 --> 00:10:57,058
She's in love with me.

240
00:10:57,059 --> 00:10:59,139
Oh, never trust
in love, chum.

241
00:10:59,140 --> 00:11:00,611
Love will kick you
up the arse

242
00:11:00,612 --> 00:11:01,699
as soon as
look at you.

243
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:03,875
One minute,
it's love,

244
00:11:03,876 --> 00:11:05,731
10 minutes later,
it's contempt.

245
00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:07,524
That's your own
experience, is it?

246
00:11:07,525 --> 00:11:10,339
Oh, no, no, no.
That's observation.

247
00:11:10,340 --> 00:11:12,708
Don't forget,
I'm a novelist.

248
00:11:12,709 --> 00:11:13,988
I observe people.

249
00:11:15,397 --> 00:11:16,611
What I'm getting at
is this--

250
00:11:16,612 --> 00:11:18,340
Is you won't be able to
give her what she wants.

251
00:11:18,341 --> 00:11:19,396
So she's gonna
leave you,

252
00:11:19,397 --> 00:11:21,605
come back to me.

253
00:11:21,606 --> 00:11:22,790
And I don't want her
near me.

254
00:11:22,791 --> 00:11:24,389
I mean, that's
the last thing I want.

255
00:11:24,390 --> 00:11:26,245
I've had her
up to here.

256
00:11:26,246 --> 00:11:27,910
Anyway, I've got
this lovely mistress.

257
00:11:27,911 --> 00:11:29,988
She runs a-- A sauna in--
In Swindon.

258
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:31,237
She's my girl.

259
00:11:31,238 --> 00:11:34,726
So you see, I want
Maggie to stay with you.

260
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,389
I want...you two

261
00:11:36,390 --> 00:11:37,701
to be together
forever.

262
00:11:37,702 --> 00:11:39,206
But unless
you listen to me,

263
00:11:39,207 --> 00:11:41,254
the whole thing will be
a fucking disaster

264
00:11:41,255 --> 00:11:43,910
with catastrophic
consequences all round.

265
00:11:45,479 --> 00:11:47,430
But...

266
00:11:47,431 --> 00:11:48,679
I have a solution.

267
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,359
You won't believe
what I'm gonna say.

268
00:11:58,056 --> 00:12:00,072
What are you
gonna say?

269
00:12:00,073 --> 00:12:03,143
I'm all ears.

270
00:12:03,144 --> 00:12:04,647
You know something?

271
00:12:04,648 --> 00:12:06,823
I'm beginning to respond
to your charm.

272
00:12:06,824 --> 00:12:08,711
Get away.
No, it's true.

273
00:12:08,712 --> 00:12:09,767
I'm really touched.

274
00:12:09,768 --> 00:12:11,816
You should be.

275
00:12:11,817 --> 00:12:13,609
Tell me, I-I bet
you didn't

276
00:12:13,610 --> 00:12:15,400
expect me to be
so intelligent.

277
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,321
So...quick-witted.
Did you?

278
00:12:17,322 --> 00:12:19,145
Oh. I did.

279
00:12:19,146 --> 00:12:20,809
Quite.

280
00:12:22,217 --> 00:12:23,689
Maggie told you,
did she?

281
00:12:27,658 --> 00:12:29,928
What's your solution?

282
00:12:29,929 --> 00:12:32,810
[#]

283
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:35,689
It's a close fit,
isn't it?

284
00:12:36,683 --> 00:12:38,122
For two.
[LAUGHS]

285
00:12:45,803 --> 00:12:47,881
Listen...

286
00:12:47,882 --> 00:12:49,547
I'm going to make you
a proposition.

287
00:12:51,052 --> 00:12:53,356
A few years ago,
I gave her some jewels.

288
00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:55,307
Amazingly expensive.

289
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:58,251
Oh, I-- I didn't give 'em
to her. I-- I own them.

290
00:12:58,252 --> 00:12:59,691
They're insured
in my name.

291
00:12:59,692 --> 00:13:02,987
But I let her use them
on special occasions.

292
00:13:02,988 --> 00:13:05,547
They're worth
1 million pounds.

293
00:13:05,548 --> 00:13:07,052
They spend half the time
in the bank,

294
00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:08,812
half the time
in the safe.

295
00:13:08,813 --> 00:13:09,964
At the moment...

296
00:13:09,965 --> 00:13:12,620
they're here in the house,
in the safe.

297
00:13:13,613 --> 00:13:15,020
And I want you...

298
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:17,613
to steal them.

299
00:13:21,485 --> 00:13:22,924
Steal them?

300
00:13:22,925 --> 00:13:24,397
That's right.

301
00:13:24,398 --> 00:13:25,997
What the hell
do you mean?

302
00:13:25,998 --> 00:13:28,237
I want you to steal the jewels.

303
00:13:28,238 --> 00:13:29,773
You want me to steal the jewels?
Mm.

304
00:13:29,774 --> 00:13:31,085
I don't get it.

305
00:13:31,086 --> 00:13:33,453
It's very simple. You steal
the jewels, sell them abroad,

306
00:13:33,454 --> 00:13:36,269
and you live happily
ever after with Maggie.

307
00:13:36,270 --> 00:13:38,574
I'll get rid of my wife
and I'll be like a pig in shit.

308
00:13:38,575 --> 00:13:40,845
And you can keep Maggie
in the manner

309
00:13:40,846 --> 00:13:42,286
to which she's become
accustomed.

310
00:13:42,287 --> 00:13:45,421
You want me to take part
in a scummy little plot

311
00:13:45,422 --> 00:13:47,950
to defraud your insurance
company, is that it?

312
00:13:47,951 --> 00:13:49,198
I thought it was quite elegant.

313
00:13:49,199 --> 00:13:51,086
What do you think I am?

314
00:13:51,087 --> 00:13:53,870
I mean, what the fuck are you
actually talking about?

315
00:13:53,871 --> 00:13:55,055
These are real facts.

316
00:13:55,056 --> 00:13:56,430
This is a joke.
No, it isn't.

317
00:13:56,431 --> 00:13:57,902
It's also a trap.
A trap?

318
00:13:57,903 --> 00:13:58,830
Yes, a trap.
You think I'm a fool?

319
00:13:58,831 --> 00:14:00,175
Well, are you?

320
00:14:00,176 --> 00:14:01,807
It doesn't hold up.
Why not?

321
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,600
They're worth a million pounds?
Correct.

322
00:14:03,601 --> 00:14:05,615
You'd only get a fraction
of that from any fence.

323
00:14:05,616 --> 00:14:08,496
I have already contacted
a friend of mine in Amsterdam.

324
00:14:08,497 --> 00:14:12,623
And he will give you
800,000 pounds tax-free.

325
00:14:13,649 --> 00:14:14,831
Now, think about it.

326
00:14:16,305 --> 00:14:19,056
Eight hundred
thousand pounds...

327
00:14:19,057 --> 00:14:20,625
tax-free.

328
00:14:23,026 --> 00:14:24,976
Why would he do that?

329
00:14:24,977 --> 00:14:26,416
Because when you steal
the jewels,

330
00:14:26,417 --> 00:14:27,408
you will also steal
the receipts.

331
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,201
So he'll have title
to the jewels,

332
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,472
as well as the jewels
themselves,

333
00:14:31,473 --> 00:14:33,649
so that when he sells them,
he gets full value.

334
00:14:37,202 --> 00:14:38,737
Got it?

335
00:14:38,738 --> 00:14:39,697
Think about it.

336
00:14:39,698 --> 00:14:40,978
[#]

337
00:14:40,979 --> 00:14:42,290
Take your time.

338
00:15:00,403 --> 00:15:01,779
And why would you
do all this?

339
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,435
Listen...

340
00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:05,714
under this crooked
exterior,

341
00:15:05,715 --> 00:15:08,083
I am a simple,
honest man.

342
00:15:08,084 --> 00:15:09,940
Every word I've
told you is true,

343
00:15:09,941 --> 00:15:11,636
I swear it.

344
00:15:11,637 --> 00:15:12,948
I want to get rid
of my wife,

345
00:15:12,949 --> 00:15:15,124
but I want it
to be solid,

346
00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:15,572
permanent.

347
00:15:17,044 --> 00:15:18,516
I don't want her
on my back.

348
00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:20,308
I want her to stay
on your back.

349
00:15:20,309 --> 00:15:21,621
This is a frame-up.

350
00:15:21,622 --> 00:15:23,059
A frame-up?

351
00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:24,211
Yes.

352
00:15:24,212 --> 00:15:26,836
You want to
destroy me.

353
00:15:26,837 --> 00:15:28,053
You want to see me
in jail.

354
00:15:28,054 --> 00:15:29,301
You want me to do this,

355
00:15:29,302 --> 00:15:31,541
and then shop me
to the police.

356
00:15:31,542 --> 00:15:33,301
No. No, no,
no, no.

357
00:15:33,302 --> 00:15:35,701
If-- If I shop you,
then you'll shop me,

358
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,077
and then we'll both
end up in jail.

359
00:15:37,078 --> 00:15:38,517
No. I take

360
00:15:38,518 --> 00:15:39,989
a strictly moral
position on all this.

361
00:15:39,990 --> 00:15:41,685
My wife is
an adulteress.

362
00:15:41,686 --> 00:15:44,501
Actually, she should be
stoned to death.

363
00:15:44,502 --> 00:15:45,526
Anyway, it's
up to you.

364
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,350
Make up
your own mind.

365
00:15:47,351 --> 00:15:48,790
You're asking me
to trust you?

366
00:15:48,791 --> 00:15:50,262
I don't give a fuck
whether you trust me or not.

367
00:15:50,263 --> 00:15:52,439
This is a simple
proposition.

368
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,318
You have an expensive woman
and no money.

369
00:15:55,319 --> 00:15:57,110
You wanna keep the woman,
steal the jewels.

370
00:15:58,647 --> 00:16:00,055
Why won't you steal
the jewels

371
00:16:00,056 --> 00:16:01,142
and give them to me?

372
00:16:01,143 --> 00:16:03,927
Ah-ha. Don't--
Don't be a bloody fool.

373
00:16:03,928 --> 00:16:05,559
The burglary
has to be right.

374
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,352
The house has got to be
broken into.

375
00:16:07,353 --> 00:16:08,503
Why don't you
break into it?

376
00:16:08,504 --> 00:16:09,943
For chrissake,
I'm in it.

377
00:16:09,944 --> 00:16:11,959
How can I break
into it? I live here.

378
00:16:13,784 --> 00:16:15,799
[#]

379
00:16:39,643 --> 00:16:40,825
MILO:
Okay.

380
00:16:40,826 --> 00:16:43,897
If I were to agree to do this,

381
00:16:43,898 --> 00:16:46,458
would you agree
to the divorce?

382
00:16:46,459 --> 00:16:48,218
Why should I give her
the divorce

383
00:16:48,218 --> 00:16:50,906
if you're both walking away
with 800,000 pounds?

384
00:16:50,907 --> 00:16:53,082
She wants a legal
settlement.

385
00:16:53,083 --> 00:16:54,297
She wants part of
your estate.

386
00:16:54,298 --> 00:16:55,769
Greedy.

387
00:16:55,770 --> 00:16:57,563
That's
legal justice.

388
00:16:57,564 --> 00:17:00,186
Never trust in
legal justice.

389
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,851
You know what
legal justice is?

390
00:17:01,851 --> 00:17:04,507
It's farting "Annie Laurie"
through a keyhole.

391
00:17:07,035 --> 00:17:08,923
Listen.

392
00:17:08,924 --> 00:17:10,715
Eight hundred
thousand pounds...

393
00:17:10,716 --> 00:17:12,091
tax-free.

394
00:17:12,092 --> 00:17:14,684
All yours, in cash.

395
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,380
Why don't you stop
pissing around?

396
00:17:16,381 --> 00:17:17,148
But...
wait a minute.

397
00:17:18,269 --> 00:17:20,860
You get a million
from the insurance.

398
00:17:20,861 --> 00:17:23,068
Sure I do.

399
00:17:23,069 --> 00:17:25,980
All right, uh-- I'll--
I'll be frank.

400
00:17:25,981 --> 00:17:27,259
I need it.
Cash flow,

401
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:29,148
stocks, shares going down.

402
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,781
Get me?

403
00:17:30,782 --> 00:17:32,477
Quid pro quo.

404
00:17:32,477 --> 00:17:34,365
You do me a favor,
I do you a favor.

405
00:17:34,366 --> 00:17:35,773
You keep the woman.

406
00:17:37,855 --> 00:17:39,005
Okay.

407
00:17:40,702 --> 00:17:43,037
Let's make a deal.
What deal?

408
00:17:43,038 --> 00:17:44,029
I break in...
Mm-hm.

409
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,084
...I steal
the jewels.

410
00:17:45,085 --> 00:17:46,813
And you agree

411
00:17:46,814 --> 00:17:48,221
to the divorce.

412
00:17:49,824 --> 00:17:51,550
That's the deal.
Otherwise, fuck it.

413
00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:53,502
That's another
quid pro quo.

414
00:17:53,503 --> 00:17:55,006
But you have to
shake on it.

415
00:17:57,567 --> 00:17:59,998
All right.

416
00:17:59,999 --> 00:18:01,886
I'll shake on it.

417
00:18:01,887 --> 00:18:02,911
Here's my hand.

418
00:18:05,087 --> 00:18:05,822
Okay.

419
00:18:09,025 --> 00:18:10,240
Okay.

420
00:18:10,241 --> 00:18:11,903
So what do I do?

421
00:18:11,904 --> 00:18:12,607
You break in.

422
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,032
You see that
skylight up there?

423
00:18:16,032 --> 00:18:18,687
Well, that window there
is the only one

424
00:18:18,687 --> 00:18:20,096
that the burglar alarm
doesn't touch.

425
00:18:20,097 --> 00:18:21,567
You get in there.

426
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:22,783
That's pretty
high up.

427
00:18:22,784 --> 00:18:24,608
Well, you climb
a ladder.

428
00:18:24,609 --> 00:18:26,209
I'm not very good
at heights.

429
00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:27,104
Oh, y-you can do it.

430
00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:29,185
Honestly, I--
I know you can.

431
00:18:29,186 --> 00:18:30,049
You're having
me on.

432
00:18:30,050 --> 00:18:32,096
Oh, come on.
Behave like a man.

433
00:18:32,097 --> 00:18:33,441
Man of action.

434
00:18:33,442 --> 00:18:34,849
You don't have to be
a hairdresser

435
00:18:34,850 --> 00:18:36,224
for the rest
of your life.

436
00:18:36,225 --> 00:18:38,272
You can be free,
independent,

437
00:18:38,273 --> 00:18:40,705
take care of the woman
you love.

438
00:18:40,706 --> 00:18:42,274
Listen.

439
00:18:42,275 --> 00:18:44,289
Put this on.

440
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,497
I use it to communicate
with my gardener.

441
00:18:47,715 --> 00:18:48,353
[FEEDBACK SQUEAKS]

442
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,186
Lovely. Actually, it suits you.

443
00:18:55,043 --> 00:18:57,825
This is what you do.
You go outside.

444
00:18:57,826 --> 00:18:59,169
Across the lawn,
there's a shed.

445
00:18:59,170 --> 00:19:00,963
Behind the shed,
there's a ladder.

446
00:19:00,964 --> 00:19:02,051
You take the ladder,

447
00:19:02,052 --> 00:19:03,651
put it up against
the wall of the house,

448
00:19:03,652 --> 00:19:06,083
and I direct you
through the earphone.

449
00:19:07,236 --> 00:19:08,227
Are you with me?

450
00:19:08,228 --> 00:19:09,474
W-- Yes. Yes.

451
00:19:10,851 --> 00:19:12,291
But I'm anxious
and frightened.

452
00:19:12,292 --> 00:19:13,955
Trust me.
But I don't.

453
00:19:13,956 --> 00:19:15,779
Well, trust me
and all will be well.

454
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,475
Just follow
my advice.

455
00:19:17,476 --> 00:19:19,652
It-- It's--
It's got to look real.

456
00:19:19,653 --> 00:19:21,732
We have to convince
the insurance people

457
00:19:21,733 --> 00:19:24,131
and the police,
if you see what I mean.

458
00:19:24,132 --> 00:19:26,308
Maggie never told me
you were...

459
00:19:26,309 --> 00:19:28,579
such a manipulator.
Heh.

460
00:19:28,580 --> 00:19:29,699
She told me you were
no good in bed,

461
00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,684
but she never told me
you were such a manipulator.

462
00:19:31,685 --> 00:19:33,860
She told you I was
no good in bed?

463
00:19:33,861 --> 00:19:35,812
Oh, yes.

464
00:19:35,813 --> 00:19:37,124
She was joking.

465
00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:38,117
I'm wonderful
in bed.

466
00:19:39,654 --> 00:19:41,125
I must tell her.

467
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,045
[BEEPING, INTERFERENCE HISSING]

468
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:53,766
There's the shed
across the lawn.

469
00:19:53,767 --> 00:19:54,822
MILO:
Shed, yeah.

470
00:19:54,823 --> 00:19:56,838
There's the ladder
behind the shed.

471
00:19:56,839 --> 00:19:57,542
The ladder?

472
00:19:59,367 --> 00:20:00,006
The ladder.

473
00:20:02,503 --> 00:20:04,678
Inside the shed, there's
a pair of gardening gloves.

474
00:20:04,679 --> 00:20:05,734
You put them on.

475
00:20:05,735 --> 00:20:07,526
By the gardening gloves,
there's a hammer.

476
00:20:07,527 --> 00:20:08,966
You go round the back
of the house.

477
00:20:08,967 --> 00:20:10,887
You put the ladder
up against the wall

478
00:20:10,888 --> 00:20:11,976
by the lower roof.

479
00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:14,151
Then you carry the hammer
up the ladder

480
00:20:14,152 --> 00:20:15,559
onto the lower roof.

481
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,992
Then you pull the ladder up
on to the main roof

482
00:20:17,993 --> 00:20:20,008
and break the skylight
window with the hammer.

483
00:20:23,112 --> 00:20:25,000
Ah. Heh.

484
00:20:25,001 --> 00:20:26,664
Wait a minute.

485
00:20:26,665 --> 00:20:28,680
You've forgotten
one major item.

486
00:20:28,681 --> 00:20:29,576
What?

487
00:20:30,793 --> 00:20:32,137
Once I'm in,
how do I get down?

488
00:20:32,138 --> 00:20:33,896
How do I get down
to floor level?

489
00:20:33,897 --> 00:20:34,760
Didn't I tell you?

490
00:20:34,761 --> 00:20:36,425
Oh. Sorry.

491
00:20:36,426 --> 00:20:38,377
You see that small
metal door up there?

492
00:20:38,377 --> 00:20:40,520
Inside there, there's
an electric ladder.

493
00:20:40,521 --> 00:20:42,345
You get through the window
onto the ledge,

494
00:20:42,346 --> 00:20:44,168
I press a button,
the ladder descends.

495
00:20:44,169 --> 00:20:45,674
You get on it
and climb down.

496
00:20:45,675 --> 00:20:46,633
Let me see it descend.

497
00:20:46,634 --> 00:20:48,073
What?
Let me see it come down.

498
00:20:48,074 --> 00:20:48,617
Now.
Sure.

499
00:21:04,587 --> 00:21:06,986
See? Easy as pissing.

500
00:21:06,987 --> 00:21:08,267
[SIGHS]

501
00:21:12,395 --> 00:21:14,506
I have a funny feeling
that I'm a cunt.

502
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:15,402
Course you're a cunt.

503
00:21:16,812 --> 00:21:18,666
But so what? You'll
end up a wealthy man.

504
00:21:19,947 --> 00:21:23,276
Obey the rules.
Just obey the rules.

505
00:21:23,277 --> 00:21:24,493
Whose rules?

506
00:21:24,494 --> 00:21:25,804
My rules.

507
00:21:27,725 --> 00:21:29,676
Go and get
the other ladder.

508
00:21:32,844 --> 00:21:35,276
[#]

509
00:21:39,182 --> 00:21:40,653
[DOOR OPENS]

510
00:21:40,654 --> 00:21:41,805
[DOOR CLOSES]

511
00:21:58,158 --> 00:21:59,406
Can you see the ladder?

512
00:22:00,943 --> 00:22:03,343
<i>Ah, ha-ha-ha.
Heh-heh.</i>

513
00:22:03,344 --> 00:22:04,877
<i>[MOCKINGLY]
Can I see the ladder?</i>

514
00:22:17,584 --> 00:22:20,143
Place the ladder
against the wall.

515
00:22:20,144 --> 00:22:21,328
<i>Okay.</i>

516
00:22:24,464 --> 00:22:26,351
Extend the ladder.

517
00:22:26,352 --> 00:22:27,663
<i>Okay.</i>

518
00:22:27,664 --> 00:22:28,656
[CHUCKLING]

519
00:22:30,992 --> 00:22:33,713
<i>Climb up the ladder--
Okay!</i>

520
00:22:33,714 --> 00:22:34,609
[CHUCKLING]

521
00:22:38,737 --> 00:22:40,496
Climb up the ladder.

522
00:22:41,873 --> 00:22:43,184
<i>Why am I doing this?</i>

523
00:22:55,762 --> 00:22:57,009
[CHUCKLING]

524
00:22:57,010 --> 00:23:00,050
Keep calm. Keep calm.

525
00:23:00,051 --> 00:23:02,897
Keep coming.
Keep coming.

526
00:23:02,898 --> 00:23:03,697
<i>Watch your step.
Jesus.</i>

527
00:23:06,803 --> 00:23:07,891
<i>[GROANS]</i>

528
00:23:11,091 --> 00:23:12,563
[CHUCKLING]
Keep calm.

529
00:23:14,804 --> 00:23:15,346
[SIGHS]

530
00:23:18,292 --> 00:23:19,443
[CHUCKLING]

531
00:23:43,542 --> 00:23:44,437
[WIND BLOWING]

532
00:23:53,430 --> 00:23:54,453
Watch your step.

533
00:23:54,454 --> 00:23:56,341
<i>Oh, I'm gonna die.</i>

534
00:23:56,342 --> 00:23:57,717
Ahh!

535
00:23:57,718 --> 00:23:58,229
Fuck!

536
00:23:59,959 --> 00:24:01,653
ANDREW:
Don't stop. Keep going.

537
00:24:03,063 --> 00:24:04,278
Don't look down.

538
00:24:04,279 --> 00:24:05,079
[WHINES]

539
00:24:06,552 --> 00:24:07,542
You're at
the window.

540
00:24:09,239 --> 00:24:09,718
Smash it.

541
00:24:11,863 --> 00:24:13,877
[GRUNTING]

542
00:24:20,151 --> 00:24:20,983
[CHUCKLES]
Fantastic.

543
00:24:24,216 --> 00:24:25,784
Where's the ladder?!
What ladder?

544
00:24:25,785 --> 00:24:27,607
The ladder!
Where's it gone?!

545
00:24:27,608 --> 00:24:29,047
It's not working.
There was always

546
00:24:29,048 --> 00:24:30,648
a dodgy fuse
on this. It--

547
00:24:30,649 --> 00:24:32,600
I'll phone the electrician
in the morning.

548
00:24:32,601 --> 00:24:34,327
In the morning?!
What about now?!

549
00:24:34,328 --> 00:24:35,608
No, no, he'll be in bed.

550
00:24:35,609 --> 00:24:36,536
You know these country people.

551
00:24:36,537 --> 00:24:39,512
Early to bed,
early to rise.

552
00:24:39,513 --> 00:24:41,080
He's a nice chap.
He's called Norman.

553
00:24:41,081 --> 00:24:43,800
Charming wife, Debbie.
Three delightful kids.

554
00:24:43,801 --> 00:24:45,305
Oh. I just
remembered.

555
00:24:45,306 --> 00:24:46,264
He's
on vacation.

556
00:24:46,265 --> 00:24:47,448
He's taken the kids
to Bermuda.

557
00:24:47,449 --> 00:24:49,176
What?

558
00:24:49,177 --> 00:24:51,832
So I'm stuck up here
for the rest of my life?!

559
00:24:51,833 --> 00:24:52,792
Have patience.

560
00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:55,033
Stoicism is what's
called for.

561
00:24:55,034 --> 00:24:56,570
Works wonders.

562
00:24:56,571 --> 00:24:58,074
Oh, wait a minute.

563
00:24:58,075 --> 00:24:59,929
There's an emergency
button on the wall.

564
00:24:59,930 --> 00:25:01,913
You see it?

565
00:25:01,914 --> 00:25:04,154
That's it. Just press it
and all will be well.

566
00:25:06,362 --> 00:25:07,193
[CHUCKLING]

567
00:25:07,194 --> 00:25:09,082
There it is.

568
00:25:16,187 --> 00:25:18,042
Careful. Be careful.
[GRUNTING]

569
00:25:20,027 --> 00:25:21,467
That's it.
[GASPS]

570
00:25:23,452 --> 00:25:25,658
Careful.
Is this as far as it will go?

571
00:25:25,659 --> 00:25:27,195
Jump.

572
00:25:27,196 --> 00:25:28,315
[CHUCKLES]
Oh--

573
00:25:29,597 --> 00:25:30,971
Oh! Christ!

574
00:25:30,972 --> 00:25:32,219
Wonderful.

575
00:25:32,220 --> 00:25:33,596
Very, very
impressed.

576
00:25:33,597 --> 00:25:35,452
<i>I thought I was gonna die!</i>

577
00:25:35,453 --> 00:25:37,851
You will.
So what the fuck do I do now?

578
00:25:37,852 --> 00:25:39,003
You open
the safe.

579
00:25:39,004 --> 00:25:40,508
Where is it?
How do I open it?

580
00:25:40,508 --> 00:25:42,684
Wait a minute. You don't
know where it is.

581
00:25:42,685 --> 00:25:44,572
You've got to find it.
You've got to look for it.

582
00:25:44,573 --> 00:25:47,068
Where is it? Start
in the bedroom.

583
00:25:48,062 --> 00:25:49,309
How are you feeling?

584
00:25:49,310 --> 00:25:50,493
Okay. All right.

585
00:25:50,494 --> 00:25:51,868
Excited?

586
00:25:51,869 --> 00:25:53,117
Quite, yes.

587
00:25:53,118 --> 00:25:54,236
You're a cool
customer.

588
00:25:54,237 --> 00:25:56,157
I like that.
Okay.

589
00:25:56,158 --> 00:25:58,173
Open the wardrobe.
Open the drawers.

590
00:25:58,174 --> 00:25:59,421
Uh, throw things
around.

591
00:25:59,422 --> 00:26:00,669
You're looking
for the safe.

592
00:26:00,670 --> 00:26:02,205
I-- It's up here
somewhere.

593
00:26:02,206 --> 00:26:03,292
Play it
for real.

594
00:26:03,293 --> 00:26:05,342
Kick the place
to death.

595
00:26:05,343 --> 00:26:06,942
You're a desperate man.

596
00:26:06,943 --> 00:26:08,766
Safes are always kept

597
00:26:08,767 --> 00:26:10,109
behind paintings,
aren't they?

598
00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:11,773
What are you
doing?

599
00:26:11,774 --> 00:26:14,174
I'm a desperate man, aren't I?
That's what you said.

600
00:26:14,175 --> 00:26:16,094
The man's
a barbarian.

601
00:26:16,095 --> 00:26:18,078
Oh, where's
the fucking safe?!

602
00:26:18,079 --> 00:26:19,102
Well, open
the chest of drawers.

603
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:22,399
It's locked.

604
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:23,135
Kick it to death.

605
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,175
[YELLS]
[CHUCKLES]

606
00:26:26,176 --> 00:26:26,943
[GROANS]

607
00:26:28,129 --> 00:26:29,152
And this...

608
00:26:29,153 --> 00:26:30,591
is where
I hear you.

609
00:26:30,592 --> 00:26:32,031
You hear me?

610
00:26:32,032 --> 00:26:33,952
Yes, uh-- I'm
asleep in the study.

611
00:26:33,953 --> 00:26:35,423
That's where
I sleep these days.

612
00:26:35,424 --> 00:26:37,855
I-- I can't sleep
in the bed

613
00:26:37,856 --> 00:26:39,200
without my wife,
you see.

614
00:26:41,089 --> 00:26:43,680
I hear you, I come into the bedroom...
[PANTING]

615
00:26:43,681 --> 00:26:45,600
...and I find you.

616
00:26:45,601 --> 00:26:46,785
And then?

617
00:26:46,786 --> 00:26:48,863
I attack you.
How?

618
00:26:48,864 --> 00:26:50,881
Like this. And this.

619
00:26:50,881 --> 00:26:51,968
[GRUNTS]

620
00:26:51,969 --> 00:26:53,793
[GRUNTS]
Oh, ha.

621
00:26:53,794 --> 00:26:55,135
Ooh-ho.

622
00:26:55,136 --> 00:26:56,705
Oh. That hurt.
[CHUCKLING]

623
00:26:56,706 --> 00:26:58,241
So sorry.

624
00:27:00,931 --> 00:27:02,561
Then...

625
00:27:02,562 --> 00:27:03,937
you get out
your knife.

626
00:27:03,938 --> 00:27:05,249
I don't have a knife.

627
00:27:08,546 --> 00:27:10,178
I do.

628
00:27:10,178 --> 00:27:11,073
You threaten me
with it.

629
00:27:11,074 --> 00:27:12,354
You're threatening me.

630
00:27:12,355 --> 00:27:14,818
<i>No. I'm playing you.
This is what you do.</i>

631
00:27:14,819 --> 00:27:16,899
You want to know where the safe is...
Mm.

632
00:27:16,900 --> 00:27:18,211
...what the combination is,

633
00:27:18,212 --> 00:27:20,387
so you terrorize me
with this knife.

634
00:27:20,388 --> 00:27:22,242
Take it easy.
Oh, you can see I'm ruthless.

635
00:27:22,243 --> 00:27:24,386
I'm unpredictable.
I'm probably a killer.

636
00:27:24,387 --> 00:27:26,051
And I am certainly...

637
00:27:26,052 --> 00:27:28,098
very, very dangerous.

638
00:27:28,099 --> 00:27:31,299
But you? You are
obstinate.

639
00:27:31,300 --> 00:27:32,388
Me or you?

640
00:27:32,389 --> 00:27:34,563
I-- I'm you,
you're me. Y-you get it?

641
00:27:34,564 --> 00:27:35,971
Mm.
Now...

642
00:27:35,972 --> 00:27:39,139
the jewels are worth
a lot of money.

643
00:27:39,140 --> 00:27:40,483
You won't
give in.

644
00:27:40,484 --> 00:27:42,595
But I...
[GASPS]

645
00:27:42,596 --> 00:27:44,580
...get out my gun.

646
00:27:44,581 --> 00:27:45,540
[GASPS]

647
00:27:45,541 --> 00:27:47,715
[CHUCKLING]

648
00:27:47,716 --> 00:27:49,507
I'm-- I'm still you,
by the way.

649
00:27:49,508 --> 00:27:50,468
Yeah.

650
00:27:50,469 --> 00:27:52,613
But then, to
make it clear...

651
00:27:52,614 --> 00:27:54,372
that I mean
business...

652
00:27:54,373 --> 00:27:56,293
[GUNSHOT]
[SCREAMS]

653
00:27:56,294 --> 00:27:57,573
ANDREW:
Bull's-eye.

654
00:27:57,574 --> 00:27:58,821
[GUNSHOT]
[SCREAMS]

655
00:27:58,822 --> 00:28:01,124
Bull's-eye. Heh.

656
00:28:01,125 --> 00:28:02,981
[GRUNTS]
Finally, you give in.

657
00:28:02,982 --> 00:28:04,485
You're-- You're
so terrified,

658
00:28:04,486 --> 00:28:05,797
you show me
where the safe is.

659
00:28:05,798 --> 00:28:07,749
It is...behind that.

660
00:28:09,158 --> 00:28:10,534
Magic.

661
00:28:10,535 --> 00:28:11,334
And you're
so frightened,

662
00:28:11,335 --> 00:28:13,605
you give me
the combination.

663
00:28:13,606 --> 00:28:15,942
19-11-94.

664
00:28:15,943 --> 00:28:17,094
Open it.

665
00:28:17,095 --> 00:28:19,589
Wait-- Wait a minute.
Am I-- Am I me now?

666
00:28:19,590 --> 00:28:22,118
Or are you me--?
No, y-- You're now you.

667
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:23,110
You're now you.

668
00:28:23,111 --> 00:28:24,102
Me?
No, no.

669
00:28:24,103 --> 00:28:25,863
Or are-- Are y--
Are you still me?

670
00:28:25,864 --> 00:28:26,887
You're now you.

671
00:28:26,888 --> 00:28:29,223
And I-- I'm now me.

672
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,295
Open the safe.

673
00:28:32,296 --> 00:28:34,343
1-9-1-1-9-4.

674
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:37,255
It was our wedding day.

675
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,415
The 19th of November...

676
00:28:41,416 --> 00:28:42,407
1994.

677
00:28:53,801 --> 00:28:54,760
MILO:
Jesus.

678
00:29:00,906 --> 00:29:02,666
What do you
think?

679
00:29:04,202 --> 00:29:06,729
They're quite...

680
00:29:06,730 --> 00:29:08,649
beautiful.

681
00:29:08,650 --> 00:29:09,513
Put them
in your pocket.

682
00:29:12,010 --> 00:29:14,825
Eight hundred thousand pounds, eh?
Hm.

683
00:29:14,826 --> 00:29:15,850
[CHUCKLING]

684
00:29:15,851 --> 00:29:16,682
That's what I said.

685
00:29:23,084 --> 00:29:24,362
Okay.

686
00:29:27,532 --> 00:29:30,602
[CHUCKLING]
So far, so good.

687
00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:32,746
Hey, you'd better give me
the address of that fence.

688
00:29:32,747 --> 00:29:33,866
What fence?

689
00:29:33,867 --> 00:29:35,564
Heh. The fence in Amsterdam.

690
00:29:35,565 --> 00:29:36,524
Oh. That fence.

691
00:29:36,525 --> 00:29:38,219
Listen...

692
00:29:38,220 --> 00:29:40,075
[CHUCKLING]
you put that gun down.

693
00:29:40,076 --> 00:29:40,652
Why?

694
00:29:42,796 --> 00:29:44,683
It's pointing directly at me.

695
00:29:44,684 --> 00:29:46,027
I'm not very happy about it.

696
00:29:46,028 --> 00:29:46,924
Why not?

697
00:29:48,908 --> 00:29:50,251
Look, is this a game?

698
00:29:50,252 --> 00:29:51,628
This is a real game.

699
00:29:54,798 --> 00:29:56,588
The real game...

700
00:29:56,589 --> 00:29:58,285
has just begun.

701
00:29:58,285 --> 00:30:00,205
[CHUCKLING]
What's the real game?

702
00:30:00,206 --> 00:30:03,532
You and me.

703
00:30:03,533 --> 00:30:04,813
You, defenseless.

704
00:30:04,814 --> 00:30:06,573
Me, with a gun.

705
00:30:08,302 --> 00:30:10,348
It's the end of
the jewelry story, you see.

706
00:30:12,271 --> 00:30:13,550
Oh, is it?
Yeah.

707
00:30:13,551 --> 00:30:14,798
I enjoyed it, though.

708
00:30:16,398 --> 00:30:17,582
I'm not enjoying this.

709
00:30:17,583 --> 00:30:18,606
Oh, I don't blame you.

710
00:30:20,111 --> 00:30:21,134
[MOUTHS]
What--?

711
00:30:21,135 --> 00:30:22,733
What's it all about?

712
00:30:22,734 --> 00:30:23,950
Oh, come on.

713
00:30:23,951 --> 00:30:26,542
Buck your ideas up.

714
00:30:26,543 --> 00:30:27,759
You really didn't think

715
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,735
<i>I was gonna let you have
my wife and the jewels?</i>

716
00:30:32,944 --> 00:30:33,679
You're joking.

717
00:30:36,144 --> 00:30:38,607
You've been leading me
up the garden.

718
00:30:38,608 --> 00:30:39,407
Right up.

719
00:30:40,753 --> 00:30:42,991
Stand on the bed.

720
00:30:54,608 --> 00:30:56,752
Listen. Wait a minute.

721
00:30:56,753 --> 00:30:58,993
Before you do
anything, um...

722
00:30:58,994 --> 00:31:00,337
there's something
I must tell you.

723
00:31:01,393 --> 00:31:02,352
What?

724
00:31:02,353 --> 00:31:04,689
Maggie
respects you.

725
00:31:04,690 --> 00:31:06,193
Really?
Yes.

726
00:31:06,194 --> 00:31:08,305
She often says, you are
a man of true integrity.

727
00:31:08,306 --> 00:31:10,129
That you're
a really decent guy.

728
00:31:10,130 --> 00:31:11,505
And she's right.

729
00:31:11,506 --> 00:31:13,330
I'm a really decent guy.

730
00:31:13,331 --> 00:31:14,512
I believe it.
She's quite right.

731
00:31:14,513 --> 00:31:16,913
I'm a really decent guy.

732
00:31:16,914 --> 00:31:17,905
I know you are.

733
00:31:17,906 --> 00:31:18,930
I know you are.

734
00:31:18,930 --> 00:31:21,041
And that's what
she often says.

735
00:31:21,042 --> 00:31:22,610
You're-- You're--
She admires your mind.

736
00:31:22,611 --> 00:31:24,274
She admires my mind?
Yes.

737
00:31:24,275 --> 00:31:26,259
Y-your-- Your mind
excites her.

738
00:31:26,260 --> 00:31:27,826
Sexually?

739
00:31:27,827 --> 00:31:29,618
Very. Your mind excites
your wife sexually.

740
00:31:29,619 --> 00:31:30,706
What about my body?

741
00:31:30,707 --> 00:31:31,794
What about it?

742
00:31:31,795 --> 00:31:33,490
Well, w-what
does she say...

743
00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:34,354
about my body?

744
00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:37,618
Do you know,
I don't--

745
00:31:37,619 --> 00:31:39,412
I don't think she's
ever mentioned it.

746
00:31:39,413 --> 00:31:41,267
You're a prick.

747
00:31:42,964 --> 00:31:44,948
My prick-- Where does
my prick come into it?

748
00:31:44,949 --> 00:31:46,036
I can guess where
it comes in.

749
00:31:46,037 --> 00:31:48,883
But I wasn't talking
about your prick.

750
00:31:48,884 --> 00:31:51,892
<i>I was calling you a prick.</i>

751
00:31:51,893 --> 00:31:52,947
Oh, thanks.

752
00:31:52,948 --> 00:31:54,547
But you know what
you are now, though?

753
00:31:54,548 --> 00:31:55,636
What?

754
00:31:55,637 --> 00:31:57,141
You're a dead duck.

755
00:31:57,142 --> 00:31:58,389
Heh. Really?

756
00:31:58,390 --> 00:32:00,372
This is the way the story

757
00:32:00,373 --> 00:32:01,780
goes to the police.

758
00:32:01,781 --> 00:32:04,789
I find you in my house,
you threaten me.

759
00:32:04,789 --> 00:32:07,092
You open the safe,
you take the jewels.

760
00:32:07,093 --> 00:32:08,596
You put 'em
in your pocket.

761
00:32:08,597 --> 00:32:09,813
I manage to
grab the gun

762
00:32:09,814 --> 00:32:11,381
while you're looking
at the jewels.

763
00:32:11,382 --> 00:32:14,260
There's a struggle.
The gun goes off.

764
00:32:14,261 --> 00:32:15,765
Suddenly,
I realize...

765
00:32:15,766 --> 00:32:16,694
you're dead.

766
00:32:16,695 --> 00:32:18,614
[CRYING]
You're gonna shoot me.

767
00:32:18,615 --> 00:32:20,694
What do you think?
Why?

768
00:32:20,695 --> 00:32:24,278
I planned all this
from the word go.

769
00:32:24,279 --> 00:32:28,022
I've always longed
for an intimate chat...

770
00:32:28,023 --> 00:32:30,006
with a hairdresser.

771
00:32:30,007 --> 00:32:32,342
Especially a hairdresser

772
00:32:32,343 --> 00:32:34,551
who is fucking my wife.

773
00:32:34,552 --> 00:32:36,087
I'm not a hairdresser!

774
00:32:36,088 --> 00:32:37,655
My wife is mine!

775
00:32:37,656 --> 00:32:39,895
She belongs to me!

776
00:32:39,896 --> 00:32:41,911
And I'm her husband!

777
00:32:43,289 --> 00:32:47,286
And what you've done
is this:

778
00:32:48,408 --> 00:32:50,392
You've invited yourself

779
00:32:50,393 --> 00:32:51,864
to attend...

780
00:32:51,865 --> 00:32:53,272
your own death.

781
00:32:53,273 --> 00:32:55,160
P-- Please.

782
00:32:56,474 --> 00:32:57,592
No! Don't do it.

783
00:32:57,593 --> 00:32:58,744
Please don't
shoot me.

784
00:32:58,745 --> 00:33:00,824
<i>Please don't
shoot me. Please!</i>

785
00:33:00,825 --> 00:33:02,808
I'll just get in my car
and go, okay?

786
00:33:02,809 --> 00:33:04,920
That's all. You'll
never see me again.

787
00:33:04,921 --> 00:33:06,392
You're crazy.

788
00:33:06,393 --> 00:33:07,416
No, you're not crazy.

789
00:33:07,417 --> 00:33:09,114
You just--
You got things wrong.

790
00:33:09,115 --> 00:33:10,969
I don't want your wife.
I hate women.

791
00:33:10,970 --> 00:33:12,025
You hear me?
I hate women.

792
00:33:12,026 --> 00:33:13,433
I hate your wife!

793
00:33:13,434 --> 00:33:15,930
[CRYING] You've absolutely
no reason to be jealous.

794
00:33:15,931 --> 00:33:17,529
Women are not
my scene.

795
00:33:17,530 --> 00:33:19,897
I'd rather do it
with a dog or a goat.

796
00:33:19,898 --> 00:33:21,882
Or a b-- Or a boy
I-I knew at school.

797
00:33:21,883 --> 00:33:23,162
His name was Dooley.

798
00:33:23,163 --> 00:33:25,658
I called him Dolores.
I hate women!

799
00:33:25,659 --> 00:33:27,514
Honest.
God's honor.

800
00:33:27,515 --> 00:33:28,955
Oh.

801
00:33:28,956 --> 00:33:30,266
Do you believe in God?

802
00:34:10,269 --> 00:34:12,444
[#]

803
00:35:00,257 --> 00:35:01,120
[CORK POPS]

804
00:35:16,482 --> 00:35:18,818
[CROW CAWING, BIRDS TWITTERING]

805
00:35:29,411 --> 00:35:30,882
[CAR MOTOR HUMMING]

806
00:36:03,908 --> 00:36:04,709
<i>Just shut up.</i>

807
00:36:07,909 --> 00:36:10,917
<i>I'm asking the questions,
not you.</i>

808
00:36:10,918 --> 00:36:13,284
<i>How long have you known him?
I don't know him.</i>

809
00:36:13,285 --> 00:36:14,788
<i>You don't know him?
I never met him.</i>

810
00:36:14,789 --> 00:36:15,588
<i>[PUNCH THUDS]</i>

811
00:36:17,990 --> 00:36:20,421
<i>What are you?
A joker?</i>

812
00:36:49,544 --> 00:36:50,407
[CAR SKIDS ON GRAVEL]

813
00:36:57,224 --> 00:36:58,791
[DOORBELL BUZZING]

814
00:37:04,904 --> 00:37:06,344
<i>ANDREW:
Yes?</i>

815
00:37:07,977 --> 00:37:09,864
<i>Andrew Wyke?</i>

816
00:37:09,865 --> 00:37:11,527
<i>ANDREW:
Yes.</i>

817
00:37:11,528 --> 00:37:13,864
<i>Detective Inspector
Black.</i>

818
00:37:13,865 --> 00:37:16,905
<i>New Scotland Yard.
Eddie Black.</i>

819
00:37:18,314 --> 00:37:20,617
<i>I'd like a word
with you.</i>

820
00:37:20,618 --> 00:37:22,089
<i>A word?</i>

821
00:37:22,090 --> 00:37:24,393
<i>That's right.</i>

822
00:37:24,394 --> 00:37:26,057
<i>What about?</i>

823
00:37:28,810 --> 00:37:31,049
<i>Hm. Can I
come in?</i>

824
00:37:31,050 --> 00:37:32,682
<i>Uh. Yes.</i>

825
00:37:32,683 --> 00:37:33,258
<i>Yes. Of course.</i>

826
00:37:35,052 --> 00:37:36,010
<i>[DOOR SHUTS]</i>

827
00:37:36,011 --> 00:37:37,289
<i>ANDREW:
Like a drink?</i>

828
00:37:37,290 --> 00:37:39,563
<i>BLACK:
Got any beer?</i>

829
00:37:39,564 --> 00:37:41,963
<i>ANDREW:
Beer? Yes.</i>

830
00:37:41,964 --> 00:37:43,786
<i>BLACK:
You're the writer.</i>

831
00:37:43,787 --> 00:37:45,962
You write
crime books.

832
00:37:45,963 --> 00:37:48,747
That's right.

833
00:37:48,748 --> 00:37:51,211
I've read
a couple.

834
00:37:51,212 --> 00:37:53,227
Right on
the button.

835
00:37:53,228 --> 00:37:54,668
Oh, that's
a great compliment.

836
00:37:56,588 --> 00:37:59,691
How do you know
so much about it?

837
00:37:59,692 --> 00:38:01,164
What?

838
00:38:01,165 --> 00:38:02,443
Villainy.

839
00:38:02,444 --> 00:38:04,043
Crime. Horror.

840
00:38:06,252 --> 00:38:07,532
Imagination.

841
00:38:09,613 --> 00:38:11,628
Imagination.

842
00:38:11,629 --> 00:38:12,524
Clever.

843
00:38:12,525 --> 00:38:15,788
I do my best.

844
00:38:15,789 --> 00:38:16,972
Cheers.
Cheers.

845
00:38:23,181 --> 00:38:26,606
I see you've got
a broken window up there.

846
00:38:26,607 --> 00:38:27,725
Uh...

847
00:38:27,726 --> 00:38:30,669
tropical storm the--
The other night.

848
00:38:30,670 --> 00:38:32,366
Uh, bit of a hurricane.
Terrifying.

849
00:38:32,367 --> 00:38:35,309
A great branch
broke off a big tree

850
00:38:35,310 --> 00:38:38,029
and flew through the air
through the skylight, a--

851
00:38:38,030 --> 00:38:39,598
As you can see.

852
00:38:39,599 --> 00:38:41,773
Act of God.

853
00:38:41,774 --> 00:38:42,989
Had it in for you, did he?

854
00:38:42,990 --> 00:38:45,743
Who?
God.

855
00:38:45,744 --> 00:38:47,662
Oh, yes. He's always
been a vicious bastard.

856
00:38:47,663 --> 00:38:49,550
You know what God's
trouble is?

857
00:38:49,551 --> 00:38:51,118
What?
He has no father.

858
00:38:51,119 --> 00:38:52,975
He has no family roots.

859
00:38:52,976 --> 00:38:54,414
He's rootless.

860
00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:56,463
Nowhere to hang
his hat, poor bugger.

861
00:38:56,464 --> 00:38:58,703
I pity him.

862
00:38:58,704 --> 00:39:01,872
BLACK: That's a very interesting
philosophical speculation.

863
00:39:01,873 --> 00:39:04,560
Wait a minute. Aren't you
a well-known detective?

864
00:39:04,561 --> 00:39:05,328
No.

865
00:39:06,704 --> 00:39:07,632
Not me, mate.

866
00:39:07,633 --> 00:39:10,800
You're thinking
of another bloke.

867
00:39:10,801 --> 00:39:12,016
Haven't
I seen

868
00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:13,199
your picture
in the newspaper?

869
00:39:15,537 --> 00:39:18,320
Do you want to know
my opinion of the newspapers?

870
00:39:18,321 --> 00:39:19,314
What?

871
00:39:21,458 --> 00:39:23,025
Journalists are
a bunch of

872
00:39:23,026 --> 00:39:24,881
prick-teasing
cocksuckers.

873
00:39:24,882 --> 00:39:26,096
No.

874
00:39:26,097 --> 00:39:27,633
That's right.

875
00:39:27,634 --> 00:39:29,041
I'm sorry,
but isn't that

876
00:39:29,042 --> 00:39:30,545
a contradiction
in terms?

877
00:39:30,546 --> 00:39:31,921
Is it?

878
00:39:34,418 --> 00:39:36,754
So you're not
well-known?

879
00:39:36,755 --> 00:39:38,451
No. I'm a common-or-garden
copper.

880
00:39:38,452 --> 00:39:41,042
I just catch sex
criminals, perverts...

881
00:39:41,043 --> 00:39:42,034
[SNIFFLES]

882
00:39:42,035 --> 00:39:43,442
...homicidal maniacs.

883
00:39:43,443 --> 00:39:45,426
ANDREW: And what do you do with them
when you catch them?

884
00:39:47,058 --> 00:39:49,650
BLACK: I generally cut
their balls off.

885
00:39:49,651 --> 00:39:50,675
[CHUCKLES]

886
00:39:50,676 --> 00:39:52,146
I see.

887
00:39:59,924 --> 00:40:01,556
So...

888
00:40:01,557 --> 00:40:03,316
how can I help you?

889
00:40:03,317 --> 00:40:05,203
Yes, I think you can
help me.

890
00:40:05,203 --> 00:40:05,715
I think you can.

891
00:40:05,716 --> 00:40:07,316
How?

892
00:40:07,317 --> 00:40:08,435
I'm looking
into

893
00:40:08,436 --> 00:40:09,395
a
disappearance.

894
00:40:09,396 --> 00:40:10,515
Disappearance?

895
00:40:10,516 --> 00:40:11,860
Man called Tindle.

896
00:40:11,861 --> 00:40:13,556
Milo Tindle.

897
00:40:13,557 --> 00:40:15,989
Sorry, I-- I-- I--
I didn't get the name.

898
00:40:15,990 --> 00:40:17,557
What was it?

899
00:40:17,558 --> 00:40:18,388
Tindle.

900
00:40:19,925 --> 00:40:21,013
Tindle.

901
00:40:21,014 --> 00:40:23,253
Tindle.
Uh, um, oh.

902
00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:25,076
What about him?

903
00:40:25,077 --> 00:40:26,709
Do you know him?

904
00:40:26,710 --> 00:40:28,821
Know him?
Absolutely not.

905
00:40:28,822 --> 00:40:30,102
You mean you've
never met him?

906
00:40:30,103 --> 00:40:30,965
Never.

907
00:40:30,966 --> 00:40:32,053
Never even heard of him.

908
00:40:32,054 --> 00:40:34,421
That's funny.
Why?

909
00:40:34,422 --> 00:40:35,478
Well...

910
00:40:35,478 --> 00:40:37,397
he was staying at
the Red Lion in the village,

911
00:40:37,398 --> 00:40:38,965
where he mentioned
to the landlord

912
00:40:38,966 --> 00:40:40,021
he was coming
to see you...

913
00:40:40,022 --> 00:40:41,110
three nights ago.

914
00:40:41,111 --> 00:40:42,358
He hasn't been seen since.

915
00:40:42,359 --> 00:40:45,333
His bag's still in his room.
Shaving kit, all that.

916
00:40:45,334 --> 00:40:46,678
He was coming
to see me?

917
00:40:46,679 --> 00:40:48,119
That's right.

918
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:49,943
He-- He mentioned it
to the landlord?

919
00:40:49,944 --> 00:40:52,087
Why would he mention such
a thing to the landlord?

920
00:40:52,088 --> 00:40:53,687
BLACK: Well, you're
a famous writer.

921
00:40:53,688 --> 00:40:55,287
You're well-known
in the district.

922
00:40:55,288 --> 00:40:57,078
So how can you
help me on this?

923
00:40:57,079 --> 00:40:58,839
Uh, no one came to see me.

924
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:00,055
I've no idea
who this man is.

925
00:41:00,056 --> 00:41:03,062
And I know no one
called, uh, Tindle?

926
00:41:03,063 --> 00:41:04,407
You don't,
eh?

927
00:41:08,633 --> 00:41:11,128
[#]

928
00:41:13,305 --> 00:41:15,385
What are you,
a joker?

929
00:41:15,386 --> 00:41:17,111
What do you
mean?

930
00:41:17,112 --> 00:41:18,264
I mean, you're
pretty quick

931
00:41:18,265 --> 00:41:19,960
on your
feet.

932
00:41:19,961 --> 00:41:21,272
You should have been
a ballet dancer.

933
00:41:22,714 --> 00:41:25,848
I can just see you
doing pirouettes.

934
00:41:25,849 --> 00:41:27,258
[SNIFFS]

935
00:41:27,259 --> 00:41:28,314
Ever worn a pair
of tights?

936
00:41:28,315 --> 00:41:29,273
Not me.

937
00:41:32,730 --> 00:41:33,849
They'd
suit you.

938
00:41:36,186 --> 00:41:37,049
Nice house.

939
00:41:37,050 --> 00:41:38,073
Thanks.

940
00:41:39,578 --> 00:41:41,659
BLACK:
Design it yourself?

941
00:41:41,660 --> 00:41:42,266
It's 18th-century.

942
00:41:42,267 --> 00:41:43,610
No, no, I meant this.

943
00:41:43,611 --> 00:41:45,050
The inside.

944
00:41:45,051 --> 00:41:46,298
That was my wife.

945
00:41:46,299 --> 00:41:48,601
Oh, your wife.
Is she here, by the way?

946
00:41:48,602 --> 00:41:49,722
No.

947
00:41:49,723 --> 00:41:51,898
Popped up
to London?

948
00:41:51,899 --> 00:41:53,466
She's not here.

949
00:41:53,467 --> 00:41:55,834
She's an interior
decorator, then.

950
00:41:55,835 --> 00:41:57,050
Something like that.

951
00:42:00,093 --> 00:42:01,851
Ah, it's a great
gift, isn't it?

952
00:42:03,068 --> 00:42:04,219
[GRUNTS]

953
00:42:04,220 --> 00:42:05,212
You're a lucky man.

954
00:42:07,261 --> 00:42:08,539
Got an ashtray?

955
00:42:10,365 --> 00:42:11,420
[FLICKS LIGHTER ON]

956
00:42:14,908 --> 00:42:16,508
I'm ready for
another beer.

957
00:42:21,084 --> 00:42:22,204
[BURPS]

958
00:42:22,205 --> 00:42:23,356
[SNIFFS]

959
00:42:23,357 --> 00:42:25,917
A man was passing your house
three nights ago.

960
00:42:25,918 --> 00:42:27,900
He said he heard
shots.

961
00:42:27,900 --> 00:42:29,565
Passed my house?

962
00:42:29,566 --> 00:42:30,940
How could he do that?

963
00:42:30,941 --> 00:42:32,829
It's private property.

964
00:42:32,830 --> 00:42:35,517
He were taking
a shortcut.

965
00:42:35,518 --> 00:42:36,701
I think he's
a poacher.

966
00:42:36,702 --> 00:42:39,518
Anyway...says
he heard shots.

967
00:42:39,519 --> 00:42:41,373
What kind of shots?

968
00:42:41,374 --> 00:42:42,621
Gunshots.

969
00:42:42,622 --> 00:42:44,414
Fantasy.
Really?

970
00:42:44,415 --> 00:42:45,310
Bullshit.

971
00:42:45,311 --> 00:42:46,653
Codswallop.
[OPENS BOTTLE]

972
00:42:46,654 --> 00:42:49,374
Who is this man?
Are you sure he exists?

973
00:42:49,375 --> 00:42:51,871
Oh, he exists
all right. Heh.

974
00:42:51,872 --> 00:42:53,278
By the way, cheers.

975
00:42:53,279 --> 00:42:54,654
Cheers.

976
00:42:57,056 --> 00:42:57,983
Ah.

977
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,599
I do want to ask you
one more question.

978
00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:11,328
Ask.

979
00:43:11,329 --> 00:43:12,991
You do know your wife's

980
00:43:12,992 --> 00:43:14,207
living in London
with another man.

981
00:43:15,937 --> 00:43:18,048
That is my business.

982
00:43:18,049 --> 00:43:21,504
My private life
is my business.

983
00:43:21,505 --> 00:43:22,976
Do you know the name
of this man?

984
00:43:22,977 --> 00:43:24,672
Why should I answer
these questions?

985
00:43:27,202 --> 00:43:28,321
Well, you don't have to,

986
00:43:28,322 --> 00:43:29,857
but you'd be better off
if you did.

987
00:43:33,441 --> 00:43:36,801
I don't know
the man's name.

988
00:43:36,802 --> 00:43:38,209
I never asked.

989
00:43:40,577 --> 00:43:42,561
So you do admit

990
00:43:42,562 --> 00:43:44,739
that your wife's living
in London with another man?

991
00:43:45,859 --> 00:43:47,042
Yes.

992
00:43:47,042 --> 00:43:49,378
Yes.

993
00:43:49,379 --> 00:43:50,786
So what?

994
00:43:52,483 --> 00:43:55,042
Well...

995
00:43:55,043 --> 00:43:56,867
I can tell you
the man's name.

996
00:44:02,212 --> 00:44:03,107
It's Tindle.

997
00:44:04,579 --> 00:44:06,243
Milo Tindle.

998
00:44:10,405 --> 00:44:12,131
Is it?

999
00:44:12,132 --> 00:44:13,827
Yeah.

1000
00:44:13,828 --> 00:44:15,491
The bloke who's
disappeared.

1001
00:44:16,645 --> 00:44:19,300
The bloke who said
he was coming to see you.

1002
00:44:19,301 --> 00:44:21,124
We found...

1003
00:44:21,125 --> 00:44:22,981
this note
in his room.

1004
00:44:22,981 --> 00:44:25,476
At the pub.

1005
00:44:25,477 --> 00:44:27,716
"I look forward
to meeting you.

1006
00:44:27,717 --> 00:44:31,140
"Come to the house
Friday, 6:30.

1007
00:44:31,141 --> 00:44:32,357
Wyke."

1008
00:44:34,053 --> 00:44:35,044
Is this
your handwriting?

1009
00:44:36,357 --> 00:44:37,381
It is.

1010
00:44:37,382 --> 00:44:39,845
Do you remember
writing this note?

1011
00:44:41,158 --> 00:44:42,502
How could I forget?

1012
00:44:42,503 --> 00:44:44,805
You forgot earlier.

1013
00:44:44,806 --> 00:44:47,173
Said you didn't
know him.

1014
00:44:47,174 --> 00:44:49,030
You said you'd
never met him.

1015
00:44:49,031 --> 00:44:52,069
[#]

1016
00:45:08,328 --> 00:45:10,055
I was lying.

1017
00:45:15,624 --> 00:45:17,159
Lying to the police.

1018
00:45:18,793 --> 00:45:20,616
That will get you
nowhere.

1019
00:45:24,264 --> 00:45:27,400
I don't understand you,
mate, honest.

1020
00:45:27,401 --> 00:45:28,744
You're a clever man.

1021
00:45:28,745 --> 00:45:30,473
You write clever books.

1022
00:45:30,474 --> 00:45:32,425
But you've made a right balls-up
of this one, haven't you?

1023
00:45:32,426 --> 00:45:33,929
Have I?

1024
00:45:33,930 --> 00:45:37,417
Tindle came to see you
three nights ago.

1025
00:45:37,418 --> 00:45:39,113
I knew him as Tindolini.

1026
00:45:39,114 --> 00:45:40,137
Oh, I see.

1027
00:45:40,138 --> 00:45:40,778
He had an Italian father.

1028
00:45:40,779 --> 00:45:42,216
Get away.

1029
00:45:42,217 --> 00:45:45,001
Traditional Italian
hairdressing family.

1030
00:45:45,002 --> 00:45:47,339
Is he a hairdresser
himself?

1031
00:45:47,340 --> 00:45:48,425
I think he is.

1032
00:45:48,426 --> 00:45:49,258
He didn't come
all the way here

1033
00:45:49,259 --> 00:45:51,114
to do your hair,
did he?

1034
00:45:51,115 --> 00:45:52,010
Not at all, not at all.

1035
00:45:54,378 --> 00:45:56,586
So, what did you two do

1036
00:45:56,587 --> 00:45:57,770
when you got together?

1037
00:46:00,491 --> 00:46:01,705
We played a game.

1038
00:46:01,706 --> 00:46:03,722
A game?

1039
00:46:03,723 --> 00:46:05,419
A game with a knife and a gun.

1040
00:46:05,420 --> 00:46:06,667
A lethal game?
No.

1041
00:46:06,668 --> 00:46:08,651
Just a bit of fun. That's all.

1042
00:46:08,652 --> 00:46:11,500
Okay. A bit of fun.

1043
00:46:11,501 --> 00:46:13,195
So he came to see you.

1044
00:46:13,196 --> 00:46:16,555
<i>You played a game
with a knife and a gun.</i>

1045
00:46:16,556 --> 00:46:18,891
Three shots were fired,

1046
00:46:18,892 --> 00:46:19,916
then he disappeared.

1047
00:46:19,917 --> 00:46:21,003
So where is he?!

1048
00:46:21,004 --> 00:46:23,084
Probably cuddling my wife.

1049
00:46:23,085 --> 00:46:24,524
That's the one thing
he's not doing.

1050
00:46:24,525 --> 00:46:26,349
How do you know?
I've seen her.

1051
00:46:26,350 --> 00:46:27,724
He was nowhere in sight.

1052
00:46:27,725 --> 00:46:29,068
Hm. Mm.

1053
00:46:29,069 --> 00:46:30,668
No.

1054
00:46:30,669 --> 00:46:32,045
She's an anxious woman.

1055
00:46:32,046 --> 00:46:34,956
She knew he was coming
to see you, you see.

1056
00:46:34,957 --> 00:46:36,940
In fact,
she insisted...

1057
00:46:36,941 --> 00:46:38,477
that he come
to see you,

1058
00:46:38,478 --> 00:46:40,172
as I know you know.

1059
00:46:42,990 --> 00:46:44,494
She thinks you may
have killed him.

1060
00:46:45,839 --> 00:46:47,661
She thinks you're
round the bend.

1061
00:46:49,295 --> 00:46:52,206
She thinks you're
a very dangerous man.

1062
00:46:52,207 --> 00:46:53,165
Me? She's joking.

1063
00:46:55,022 --> 00:46:57,967
So tell me, between ourselves...

1064
00:46:57,968 --> 00:46:58,863
did you kill him?

1065
00:47:01,936 --> 00:47:04,655
I'll tell you
exactly what I did.

1066
00:47:04,656 --> 00:47:06,638
I pretended to kill him.

1067
00:47:06,639 --> 00:47:08,399
I shot him with a blank.

1068
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,991
I frightened the shit
out of him.

1069
00:47:10,992 --> 00:47:12,046
Your man was right.

1070
00:47:12,047 --> 00:47:14,607
Your spy...whoever he was.

1071
00:47:14,608 --> 00:47:16,368
There were three shots.

1072
00:47:16,369 --> 00:47:19,247
The first two were real.
The third one was blank.

1073
00:47:20,592 --> 00:47:22,032
He was
terrified.

1074
00:47:22,033 --> 00:47:24,048
When I shot him,
he fainted.

1075
00:47:24,049 --> 00:47:25,871
When he came round,
I gave him a drink,

1076
00:47:25,872 --> 00:47:26,832
pat on the bum,

1077
00:47:26,833 --> 00:47:28,015
he left the house,

1078
00:47:28,016 --> 00:47:29,904
his tail, if you want to
call it that,

1079
00:47:29,905 --> 00:47:31,441
between his legs.

1080
00:47:31,442 --> 00:47:33,232
And I haven't seen him since.

1081
00:47:33,233 --> 00:47:35,921
You gave him a pat
on the bum?

1082
00:47:35,922 --> 00:47:37,265
Metaphorically.

1083
00:47:37,266 --> 00:47:40,337
You gave him a metaphorical
pat on the bum?

1084
00:47:40,338 --> 00:47:42,160
Sure.
How did he take it?

1085
00:47:42,161 --> 00:47:44,113
What?
The pat.

1086
00:47:44,114 --> 00:47:45,648
He was fine. He told me

1087
00:47:45,649 --> 00:47:48,913
that it was game, set
and match to me.

1088
00:47:48,914 --> 00:47:51,377
So this guy
had a sense of humor,

1089
00:47:51,378 --> 00:47:52,242
is that what
you're saying?

1090
00:47:52,243 --> 00:47:53,458
Oh, yes. He left
the house

1091
00:47:53,459 --> 00:47:55,026
with a twinkle in his eye.

1092
00:47:55,027 --> 00:47:56,755
So tell me...

1093
00:47:56,756 --> 00:47:58,641
what was the point
of all this?

1094
00:47:58,642 --> 00:47:59,794
Humiliation.

1095
00:47:59,795 --> 00:48:01,394
It's nice to see
your wife's lover

1096
00:48:01,395 --> 00:48:03,826
a shivering, frightened,
fucking wreck in front of you.

1097
00:48:03,827 --> 00:48:06,482
As a matter of fact,
I liked him.

1098
00:48:06,483 --> 00:48:08,146
I thought he was
attractive.

1099
00:48:08,147 --> 00:48:10,387
I thought we could have
become good friends.

1100
00:48:10,388 --> 00:48:12,755
The shortest way
to a man's heart,

1101
00:48:12,756 --> 00:48:15,187
as I'm sure you know,
is humiliation.

1102
00:48:15,188 --> 00:48:16,500
It binds you together.

1103
00:48:19,988 --> 00:48:21,747
You found him...

1104
00:48:21,748 --> 00:48:23,602
attractive?

1105
00:48:23,603 --> 00:48:25,619
I put myself in
my wife's shoes,

1106
00:48:25,620 --> 00:48:26,516
in a manner
of speaking.

1107
00:48:26,517 --> 00:48:27,733
I was trying
to find out

1108
00:48:27,734 --> 00:48:29,715
what attracted her
to him.

1109
00:48:31,797 --> 00:48:33,749
And did you?
Oh, yes.

1110
00:48:33,750 --> 00:48:35,509
He was really, uh...

1111
00:48:35,510 --> 00:48:37,108
terribly sweet.

1112
00:48:37,109 --> 00:48:39,220
I could see why
she fancied him.

1113
00:48:39,221 --> 00:48:40,436
Could see why he fancies her.

1114
00:48:41,878 --> 00:48:42,899
Really?

1115
00:48:42,900 --> 00:48:44,181
Found her very tasty
myself.

1116
00:48:44,182 --> 00:48:45,493
Is that so?

1117
00:48:45,494 --> 00:48:47,061
Oh, yes.

1118
00:48:47,062 --> 00:48:49,014
Sumptuous. Ready
for action.

1119
00:48:50,902 --> 00:48:53,750
I mean, I'm an
experienced detective.

1120
00:48:53,751 --> 00:48:54,966
So...

1121
00:48:54,967 --> 00:48:57,237
guess what I detected.

1122
00:48:57,238 --> 00:48:58,581
What?

1123
00:48:58,582 --> 00:48:59,733
That she's in love

1124
00:48:59,734 --> 00:49:01,654
with her own body.

1125
00:49:01,655 --> 00:49:04,150
Makes her dizzy
with excitement.

1126
00:49:05,751 --> 00:49:06,550
Mm.

1127
00:49:08,119 --> 00:49:10,166
You detected all this
in five minutes?

1128
00:49:10,167 --> 00:49:11,510
Well, 35.

1129
00:49:11,511 --> 00:49:12,951
Perhaps even 45.

1130
00:49:12,952 --> 00:49:14,487
Well, let's
call it 55,

1131
00:49:14,487 --> 00:49:16,822
or even a little bit
longer.

1132
00:49:16,823 --> 00:49:18,230
You stayed for tea?

1133
00:49:18,231 --> 00:49:20,056
And cakes.

1134
00:49:20,057 --> 00:49:21,656
Yeah.

1135
00:49:27,001 --> 00:49:28,759
Yeah.

1136
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:30,423
Must be funny for you
to know

1137
00:49:30,424 --> 00:49:32,344
your own wife's getting
a good going-over

1138
00:49:32,345 --> 00:49:34,072
from another man
on a regular basis.

1139
00:49:34,073 --> 00:49:35,767
Going-over? I d--
I don't follow.

1140
00:49:35,768 --> 00:49:37,080
You don't?

1141
00:49:37,081 --> 00:49:38,713
Not a phrase
I'm familiar with.

1142
00:49:38,714 --> 00:49:39,993
Means being fucked.

1143
00:49:39,994 --> 00:49:42,265
Oh, you mean like in
sexual intercourse?

1144
00:49:42,266 --> 00:49:43,769
Yes, the old one-two.

1145
00:49:43,770 --> 00:49:45,689
In like a lion,
out like a lamb.

1146
00:49:45,690 --> 00:49:47,800
I must say, you have
a great gift for language.

1147
00:49:47,801 --> 00:49:49,720
Did you learn it at school?

1148
00:49:49,721 --> 00:49:51,257
The hard school:
family life.

1149
00:49:51,258 --> 00:49:52,409
But you keep cheerful.

1150
00:49:52,410 --> 00:49:54,456
You've got it,
I keep cheerful.

1151
00:49:54,457 --> 00:49:56,729
I've got
an optimistic nature.

1152
00:49:56,730 --> 00:49:58,170
You got to when
you're a policeman.

1153
00:49:58,171 --> 00:49:59,642
Otherwise, you'd go mad.

1154
00:49:59,643 --> 00:50:01,081
No. I'll tell you...

1155
00:50:01,082 --> 00:50:03,130
what keeps me
going.

1156
00:50:03,131 --> 00:50:04,218
[SNIFFS]

1157
00:50:04,219 --> 00:50:05,146
The chase,

1158
00:50:05,147 --> 00:50:06,234
the thrill
of the hunt,

1159
00:50:06,235 --> 00:50:08,122
and the sudden shafts
of bright light.

1160
00:50:08,123 --> 00:50:09,722
For instance,

1161
00:50:09,723 --> 00:50:11,194
when I was talking...

1162
00:50:11,195 --> 00:50:12,284
to your wife--

1163
00:50:13,596 --> 00:50:15,451
Very attractive woman.

1164
00:50:17,404 --> 00:50:18,875
Wonderful legs.

1165
00:50:22,780 --> 00:50:26,172
Heh. She was crossing 'em
at the time, I remember.

1166
00:50:26,173 --> 00:50:27,739
--she suddenly said

1167
00:50:27,740 --> 00:50:30,940
<i>you had a murderous nature.</i>

1168
00:50:30,941 --> 00:50:33,819
[#]

1169
00:50:33,820 --> 00:50:36,445
Now, that really
made my nose twitch.

1170
00:50:36,446 --> 00:50:36,956
Itch?

1171
00:50:39,166 --> 00:50:40,028
Twitch...

1172
00:50:40,029 --> 00:50:41,820
mate.

1173
00:50:41,821 --> 00:50:44,092
Twitch.

1174
00:50:44,093 --> 00:50:47,356
So I'm looking at you
and I'm wondering...

1175
00:50:47,357 --> 00:50:48,733
what have you done
with the body?

1176
00:50:51,102 --> 00:50:51,902
Where's
the body?

1177
00:50:53,021 --> 00:50:55,325
Come on, I need
to know.

1178
00:50:55,326 --> 00:50:56,606
Where's the body?

1179
00:50:56,607 --> 00:50:57,950
What have you done
with the body?

1180
00:50:57,951 --> 00:50:59,773
There's no body.

1181
00:50:59,774 --> 00:51:01,565
<i>Don't fuck about.</i>

1182
00:51:01,566 --> 00:51:03,549
Don't bullshit me.
I won't stand for it.

1183
00:51:03,550 --> 00:51:05,214
Where's the body? In the house,
or did you shift it?

1184
00:51:05,215 --> 00:51:07,390
There is no body!

1185
00:51:07,391 --> 00:51:08,190
[GRUNTS]

1186
00:51:10,367 --> 00:51:11,391
Ach.

1187
00:51:11,392 --> 00:51:12,575
[GRUNTING]

1188
00:51:16,608 --> 00:51:17,727
BLACK:
Here. Look at this.

1189
00:51:17,728 --> 00:51:19,166
You've got holes in your walls.

1190
00:51:19,167 --> 00:51:20,447
Ah.

1191
00:51:20,448 --> 00:51:21,790
[GRUNTS]

1192
00:51:21,791 --> 00:51:24,735
They're bullet holes.
Live bullet holes.

1193
00:51:24,736 --> 00:51:26,879
Yes, I-- I fired two live
bullets to set up the trick,

1194
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:28,384
and one blank
to complete it.

1195
00:51:28,385 --> 00:51:30,080
It was a game,
I told you.

1196
00:51:30,081 --> 00:51:31,231
I-- I played it
to the hilt.

1197
00:51:31,232 --> 00:51:32,384
It's not worth
playing the game

1198
00:51:32,385 --> 00:51:34,080
unless you play it to
the hilt.

1199
00:51:34,081 --> 00:51:35,616
The third shot was a blank?
That's right.

1200
00:51:35,617 --> 00:51:36,992
What's that?
What?

1201
00:51:36,993 --> 00:51:37,983
Blood.
What?

1202
00:51:37,984 --> 00:51:39,392
Dried blood!

1203
00:51:39,393 --> 00:51:41,601
Some of it's not even dried.
It's still a little damp.

1204
00:51:41,602 --> 00:51:42,689
That's impossible.

1205
00:51:42,690 --> 00:51:43,873
That's blood, chum.

1206
00:51:43,874 --> 00:51:45,921
Whose blood is it?
It's impossible.

1207
00:51:45,922 --> 00:51:47,521
It was a game.
It was a blank.

1208
00:51:47,522 --> 00:51:49,666
No, no. It was a game with
real bullets and real blood.

1209
00:51:49,666 --> 00:51:51,521
This is a carve-up.

1210
00:51:51,522 --> 00:51:52,481
Let's see...
[GRUNTS]

1211
00:51:52,482 --> 00:51:54,081
what else
is new around here.

1212
00:51:55,746 --> 00:51:57,633
Hello. What's this?

1213
00:51:57,633 --> 00:51:59,329
We've got a shirt,

1214
00:51:59,330 --> 00:52:00,962
jacket and trousers
screwed up

1215
00:52:00,963 --> 00:52:02,274
in the back of
your cupboard.

1216
00:52:02,275 --> 00:52:05,474
Very negligent of you, mate.
Unless they're not yours.

1217
00:52:05,475 --> 00:52:06,946
No, I don't think
they're yours.

1218
00:52:06,947 --> 00:52:08,994
I think they belong to Tindle.

1219
00:52:08,995 --> 00:52:11,970
You say he left the house
after you shot him.

1220
00:52:11,971 --> 00:52:13,666
Yes.
Naked?

1221
00:52:13,667 --> 00:52:15,427
I-I don't know how
those clothes got there.

1222
00:52:15,427 --> 00:52:17,922
So you made him strip
before you shot him?

1223
00:52:17,923 --> 00:52:19,875
Part of the humiliation,
was it?

1224
00:52:19,876 --> 00:52:21,411
No. The thing is this.

1225
00:52:21,412 --> 00:52:23,138
It might have
started as a game,

1226
00:52:23,139 --> 00:52:24,611
but it got out of hand.

1227
00:52:24,612 --> 00:52:26,563
The third shot was live!

1228
00:52:26,564 --> 00:52:28,420
It killed him!

1229
00:52:28,421 --> 00:52:30,595
So where's the body?!

1230
00:52:30,596 --> 00:52:32,899
I didn't kill him!
He's alive!

1231
00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:34,981
Bollocks. You're a joker, all right.
[GRUNTING]

1232
00:52:34,982 --> 00:52:36,580
A real joker.

1233
00:52:36,581 --> 00:52:38,468
Come on. We're off
to the station.

1234
00:52:38,469 --> 00:52:39,845
Something
very wrong here.

1235
00:52:39,846 --> 00:52:41,380
Hey. Dead right.

1236
00:52:41,381 --> 00:52:43,044
I'll tell you what you are.
You're fucked. [SCREAMS]

1237
00:52:44,517 --> 00:52:46,116
[CRYING]
Jesus Christ.

1238
00:52:46,117 --> 00:52:48,196
Don't struggle, chum.
I'll have you for breakfast.

1239
00:52:48,197 --> 00:52:49,732
There's something
very wrong here.

1240
00:52:49,733 --> 00:52:51,237
You're up shit
creek, Wyke.

1241
00:52:51,238 --> 00:52:52,901
You're up shit creek
without a paddle. [GRUNTS]

1242
00:52:56,582 --> 00:52:57,989
Look at you.

1243
00:52:57,990 --> 00:52:59,077
All aquiver.

1244
00:53:00,422 --> 00:53:03,749
Who's the dead duck?

1245
00:53:03,750 --> 00:53:06,374
[#]

1246
00:53:06,375 --> 00:53:07,686
Jesus Christ.

1247
00:53:11,143 --> 00:53:13,767
<i>You're the dead duck.</i>

1248
00:53:14,918 --> 00:53:16,198
[LAUGHING]

1249
00:53:17,351 --> 00:53:19,783
I just sucked you in

1250
00:53:19,784 --> 00:53:23,206
and blew you out
in little bubbles.

1251
00:53:23,207 --> 00:53:24,678
It's you.
It's me, all right.

1252
00:53:24,679 --> 00:53:27,464
You bastard. You
stinking bastard. [LAUGHING]

1253
00:53:27,465 --> 00:53:30,151
It's a little game, Andrew.
Just a little game.

1254
00:53:30,152 --> 00:53:31,176
You shit.

1255
00:53:31,177 --> 00:53:32,424
I thought it might amuse you.

1256
00:53:32,425 --> 00:53:34,279
You're a total shit.
I know I am.

1257
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,455
But you're also
a genius.

1258
00:53:36,456 --> 00:53:38,311
I know that too.

1259
00:53:40,584 --> 00:53:41,703
When did you
do all this?

1260
00:53:41,704 --> 00:53:42,919
The clothes
in the wardrobe?

1261
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:43,944
The blood?

1262
00:53:43,945 --> 00:53:46,025
The blood belongs
to a pig's liver.

1263
00:53:46,026 --> 00:53:47,624
But when did you do it?
How did you do it?

1264
00:53:47,625 --> 00:53:49,961
I did it last night.
I used that ladder.

1265
00:53:49,962 --> 00:53:51,081
I heard you snoring.

1266
00:53:51,082 --> 00:53:53,001
Does Maggie know about this?
Your detective,

1267
00:53:53,002 --> 00:53:54,152
was it her idea?

1268
00:53:54,153 --> 00:53:55,144
How much does she know?

1269
00:53:55,145 --> 00:53:56,777
She knows nothing about it.

1270
00:53:56,778 --> 00:53:59,817
Entirely my own idea.

1271
00:53:59,818 --> 00:54:01,641
This is a game
between us...

1272
00:54:01,642 --> 00:54:03,018
old boy.

1273
00:54:03,019 --> 00:54:04,394
Between you...

1274
00:54:04,395 --> 00:54:05,738
and me.

1275
00:54:05,739 --> 00:54:07,017
Don't forget...

1276
00:54:07,018 --> 00:54:08,458
I'm half Italian.

1277
00:54:08,459 --> 00:54:09,930
We go in
for revenge.

1278
00:54:13,771 --> 00:54:15,178
[GAGGING]

1279
00:54:18,603 --> 00:54:19,722
[SIGHING]

1280
00:54:22,092 --> 00:54:23,371
<i>After all, you...</i>

1281
00:54:23,372 --> 00:54:25,259
frightened the life
out of me deliberately.

1282
00:54:26,379 --> 00:54:29,099
You fired two live bullets
into the wall...

1283
00:54:29,099 --> 00:54:31,083
and then you p--

1284
00:54:31,084 --> 00:54:32,842
You pointed
the gun at me.

1285
00:54:32,843 --> 00:54:34,475
And then you fired.

1286
00:54:36,492 --> 00:54:37,581
[LAUGHING]

1287
00:54:39,085 --> 00:54:40,716
I don't like guns.

1288
00:54:42,029 --> 00:54:43,628
They kill you.

1289
00:54:46,732 --> 00:54:48,492
Okay.

1290
00:54:48,493 --> 00:54:50,253
So, what does this
make the score?

1291
00:54:51,534 --> 00:54:53,868
You've had
your revenge.

1292
00:54:53,869 --> 00:54:56,109
So...

1293
00:54:56,110 --> 00:54:58,349
what do you reckon?

1294
00:54:58,350 --> 00:55:00,301
One set all?

1295
00:55:00,302 --> 00:55:02,221
No, no, you're way ahead.

1296
00:55:03,439 --> 00:55:05,549
I only teased you
with my inspector,

1297
00:55:05,550 --> 00:55:07,501
gave you a few
goose pimples.

1298
00:55:08,974 --> 00:55:10,893
But you frightened me to death.

1299
00:55:10,894 --> 00:55:12,718
[GUNSHOT]

1300
00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:15,246
ANDREW: Did you really think
I was going to kill you? Ha-ha.

1301
00:55:15,247 --> 00:55:18,670
You fainted, you see.
It was a blank.

1302
00:55:19,728 --> 00:55:21,647
I may be three games up...

1303
00:55:21,648 --> 00:55:22,895
in the second set.

1304
00:55:22,896 --> 00:55:25,038
If I'd have killed you,
I'd have to bury the body

1305
00:55:25,039 --> 00:55:27,566
in the garden or--
Or somewhere.

1306
00:55:27,567 --> 00:55:28,847
Too exhausting.

1307
00:55:28,848 --> 00:55:29,967
But you won the first, 6-love.

1308
00:55:29,968 --> 00:55:31,375
[CHUCKLING]

1309
00:55:34,321 --> 00:55:36,816
So we're a long way
from one set all.

1310
00:55:42,928 --> 00:55:44,431
Oh, uh, by the way, I--

1311
00:55:44,432 --> 00:55:46,415
I spoke to Maggie.

1312
00:55:46,416 --> 00:55:48,017
I told her all about you.

1313
00:55:49,106 --> 00:55:50,832
She loved it.

1314
00:55:50,833 --> 00:55:53,488
Loved what?

1315
00:55:53,489 --> 00:55:56,305
That I frightened
the life out of you.

1316
00:55:56,306 --> 00:55:58,065
That you pissed
your pants.

1317
00:55:58,065 --> 00:55:58,993
[SOBBING]

1318
00:55:58,994 --> 00:56:02,065
And that you
actually fainted.

1319
00:56:02,066 --> 00:56:03,344
She said to me,

1320
00:56:03,345 --> 00:56:05,360
<i>"You mean
he actually fainted?"</i>

1321
00:56:05,361 --> 00:56:08,210
I said, "Dead out.
He was scared shitless."

1322
00:56:08,211 --> 00:56:09,010
[SOBBING]

1323
00:56:09,011 --> 00:56:10,289
Went out like a light.

1324
00:56:10,290 --> 00:56:11,826
[CHUCKLING]

1325
00:56:11,827 --> 00:56:14,162
She-- She laughed
so much,

1326
00:56:14,163 --> 00:56:16,018
I thought she was
gonna burst.

1327
00:56:16,019 --> 00:56:17,137
[SOBBING]

1328
00:56:20,595 --> 00:56:22,897
Oh, uh, incidentally...

1329
00:56:22,898 --> 00:56:24,499
she's coming back to me.

1330
00:56:24,500 --> 00:56:26,067
[QUIETLY]
Oh, is she?

1331
00:56:26,068 --> 00:56:27,892
Yes, that's
right.

1332
00:56:27,893 --> 00:56:29,874
You know what
she said about you?

1333
00:56:29,875 --> 00:56:30,707
What?

1334
00:56:30,708 --> 00:56:32,659
She said:

1335
00:56:32,660 --> 00:56:35,475
"Faint heart never won
fair lady."

1336
00:56:38,036 --> 00:56:39,283
Is that a fact?

1337
00:56:39,284 --> 00:56:40,307
Yeah.

1338
00:56:41,716 --> 00:56:42,932
Listen...

1339
00:56:44,341 --> 00:56:46,292
I wanna show you something.

1340
00:56:46,293 --> 00:56:49,940
Go into your study
and sit down.

1341
00:56:51,829 --> 00:56:53,461
Go into my study?

1342
00:56:54,805 --> 00:56:56,948
And sit down.

1343
00:56:57,685 --> 00:56:58,805
[ROPE LADDER
CLANKS]

1344
00:57:00,727 --> 00:57:02,260
ANDREW:
What are you doing?

1345
00:57:02,261 --> 00:57:03,765
It's late at night.

1346
00:57:03,766 --> 00:57:05,238
You're reading a book
under a lamp.

1347
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:06,165
Read something.

1348
00:57:06,166 --> 00:57:07,190
What--? What's going on?

1349
00:57:07,191 --> 00:57:08,789
Read a book.

1350
00:57:08,790 --> 00:57:11,125
It's late at night.
You're reading a book.

1351
00:57:11,126 --> 00:57:13,462
You hear something.
You look up.

1352
00:57:13,463 --> 00:57:15,029
It's me jumping off
the ladder.

1353
00:57:15,030 --> 00:57:17,046
You see me
with this gun.

1354
00:57:17,047 --> 00:57:19,031
You're caught...
like a rat in a trap.

1355
00:57:19,032 --> 00:57:20,982
You stare at the gun.
You're paralyzed.

1356
00:57:20,983 --> 00:57:22,518
I've come for
the jewels.

1357
00:57:22,519 --> 00:57:23,958
Where's the safe?!
What jewels?

1358
00:57:23,959 --> 00:57:25,847
The jewels.
Where's the safe?!

1359
00:57:25,848 --> 00:57:27,350
You know where the safe is.
I don't.

1360
00:57:27,351 --> 00:57:29,430
You don't?
Don't fuck me about. I mean it.

1361
00:57:29,431 --> 00:57:30,551
Get up.

1362
00:57:30,552 --> 00:57:31,222
Heh.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.

1363
00:57:31,223 --> 00:57:32,886
You think this gun

1364
00:57:32,887 --> 00:57:33,750
isn't real?

1365
00:57:35,257 --> 00:57:36,535
[GASPS]
Oh.

1366
00:57:36,536 --> 00:57:38,168
Where is it?

1367
00:57:38,169 --> 00:57:39,928
Uh...upstairs.

1368
00:57:39,928 --> 00:57:41,143
MILO:
Well, let's go upstairs.

1369
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:44,248
Get up
these stairs,

1370
00:57:44,249 --> 00:57:46,200
or I'll ram this gun
right up your ass.

1371
00:57:46,201 --> 00:57:47,959
[#]

1372
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:50,519
ANDREW:
The safe is behind the fish tank.

1373
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:51,769
How am I gonna
get to it?

1374
00:57:51,770 --> 00:57:54,136
Well, you press the button,
and the button moves the tank.

1375
00:57:54,137 --> 00:57:55,992
Then press it.
[BUTTON CLICKING]

1376
00:57:55,993 --> 00:57:58,521
I j-- I-it's not working.
It's out of ord--

1377
00:58:00,153 --> 00:58:01,721
What are you, a maniac?
You're crazy.

1378
00:58:01,722 --> 00:58:02,712
MILO:
Open it.

1379
00:58:02,713 --> 00:58:04,441
I-I changed
the combination yesterday.

1380
00:58:04,442 --> 00:58:06,616
What is it?
Uh, uh, I forgot.

1381
00:58:06,617 --> 00:58:07,864
I can't remember.
Remember.

1382
00:58:07,865 --> 00:58:09,306
It's the truth.
I can't remember.

1383
00:58:09,307 --> 00:58:10,329
Remember!

1384
00:58:10,330 --> 00:58:13,017
[GRUNTING, BREATHING HEAVILY]

1385
00:58:13,018 --> 00:58:15,162
What are you doing?
What are you gonna do?

1386
00:58:15,163 --> 00:58:16,538
I've broken into
your house

1387
00:58:16,539 --> 00:58:18,746
because I know you have
jewels in a safe.

1388
00:58:18,747 --> 00:58:19,929
[COCKS GUN]

1389
00:58:19,930 --> 00:58:21,594
I have inside
information.

1390
00:58:21,595 --> 00:58:22,713
I want them.

1391
00:58:22,714 --> 00:58:24,890
Remember the combination
and open it.

1392
00:58:27,771 --> 00:58:28,570
[GRUNTS]

1393
00:58:29,340 --> 00:58:30,459
[GASPS]

1394
00:58:31,388 --> 00:58:32,538
[QUIET MENACE]
It was a blank.

1395
00:58:32,539 --> 00:58:33,722
[GUN COCKS]

1396
00:58:35,388 --> 00:58:36,827
The next one's real.

1397
00:58:36,828 --> 00:58:37,819
[WHIMPERING]

1398
00:58:54,589 --> 00:58:55,836
There's a good boy.

1399
00:59:00,733 --> 00:59:01,596
[UNCOCKS GUN]

1400
00:59:07,774 --> 00:59:08,797
[SNIFFLES]

1401
00:59:10,654 --> 00:59:11,228
[SIGHS]

1402
00:59:13,182 --> 00:59:15,454
So, what are you writing
at the moment?

1403
00:59:20,255 --> 00:59:22,527
What am I writing?

1404
00:59:22,528 --> 00:59:24,382
Yes, I'm-- I'm very
interested in literature.

1405
00:59:28,832 --> 00:59:30,302
You mind if I have a drink?

1406
00:59:31,839 --> 00:59:35,519
Sure. It's your house.

1407
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:37,182
I'm always
interested

1408
00:59:37,183 --> 00:59:39,935
in the people
I rob.

1409
00:59:39,936 --> 00:59:41,408
Like I'm always interested

1410
00:59:41,408 --> 00:59:43,935
in the husbands
of the wives I fuck.

1411
00:59:43,936 --> 00:59:45,183
[CHUCKLES]

1412
00:59:45,184 --> 00:59:46,239
Are you really?

1413
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:47,296
[GUN CLICKS]

1414
00:59:47,297 --> 00:59:48,288
Well, well.

1415
00:59:50,112 --> 00:59:51,007
Cheers.

1416
00:59:58,145 --> 01:00:00,481
So...

1417
01:00:00,482 --> 01:00:01,921
what are you writing?

1418
01:00:06,561 --> 01:00:09,952
It's the story of
a pathological killer. I--

1419
01:00:09,953 --> 01:00:11,968
<i>I call it
The Smiling Man.</i>

1420
01:00:11,969 --> 01:00:13,570
Does he come to
a bad end?

1421
01:00:13,571 --> 01:00:15,457
He dies during
the act of love.

1422
01:00:15,458 --> 01:00:16,513
Like countless others.

1423
01:00:16,514 --> 01:00:18,050
Countless
others, eh?

1424
01:00:18,051 --> 01:00:20,258
I see you've researched
the subject thoroughly.

1425
01:00:21,443 --> 01:00:22,658
What subject?

1426
01:00:22,658 --> 01:00:24,386
Death in orgasm.

1427
01:00:24,387 --> 01:00:26,754
Yeah. I-isn't that
a beautiful notion?

1428
01:00:26,755 --> 01:00:28,705
To die in the arms
of your beloved.

1429
01:00:28,706 --> 01:00:30,498
Can you--?
Can you imagine

1430
01:00:30,499 --> 01:00:31,970
anything more poignant?

1431
01:00:31,971 --> 01:00:33,891
I can't, no.
No.

1432
01:00:33,892 --> 01:00:36,226
You're a married man
yourself, aren't you?

1433
01:00:36,227 --> 01:00:38,915
Yeah. Been married 13 years.
Hm.

1434
01:00:38,916 --> 01:00:40,259
It was love
at first sight.

1435
01:00:40,260 --> 01:00:41,507
Very moving.
Yeah.

1436
01:00:41,508 --> 01:00:44,098
And we're still in love.
Like two peas in a pod.

1437
01:00:44,099 --> 01:00:46,403
Someone told me
your wife has a lover.

1438
01:00:46,404 --> 01:00:48,451
She has, yeah.
Do you know him?

1439
01:00:48,452 --> 01:00:51,524
No, I've never met him.
He's some sort of Italian.

1440
01:00:51,525 --> 01:00:53,893
Called, uh, Tandoori
or something.

1441
01:00:53,894 --> 01:00:56,100
One of the Bombay
Tandooris?

1442
01:00:56,101 --> 01:00:57,860
You've got it, yeah.

1443
01:00:57,861 --> 01:00:58,949
You know something?

1444
01:00:58,950 --> 01:01:01,252
I've never met
an artistic burglar before.

1445
01:01:01,253 --> 01:01:02,436
That's fantastic.

1446
01:01:04,261 --> 01:01:05,540
What's your background?

1447
01:01:05,541 --> 01:01:06,278
Me?

1448
01:01:06,279 --> 01:01:07,300
You.
Irish.

1449
01:01:07,301 --> 01:01:08,612
Oh.
Connemara.

1450
01:01:08,613 --> 01:01:11,365
Spanish descent. By way of Uganda.
Mm-hm.

1451
01:01:11,366 --> 01:01:12,901
My grandparents
were slaves.

1452
01:01:12,902 --> 01:01:14,437
My mother was
a dark-eyed,

1453
01:01:14,438 --> 01:01:16,165
dusky beauty.

1454
01:01:16,166 --> 01:01:17,285
Were you breast-fed?

1455
01:01:17,286 --> 01:01:18,533
Oh, sure.
Like a baby.

1456
01:01:21,093 --> 01:01:22,757
Shall I tell you

1457
01:01:22,758 --> 01:01:24,230
what I want you to do

1458
01:01:24,231 --> 01:01:25,350
with these jewels?

1459
01:01:27,302 --> 01:01:28,390
What?

1460
01:01:31,559 --> 01:01:33,190
[LAUGHING]

1461
01:01:40,839 --> 01:01:44,456
You look
so charming.

1462
01:01:44,456 --> 01:01:46,599
[LAUGHING]

1463
01:01:51,816 --> 01:01:53,191
How do you want it?

1464
01:01:53,192 --> 01:01:54,727
Like this?

1465
01:01:54,728 --> 01:01:56,392
Or...

1466
01:01:56,393 --> 01:01:57,864
shorter?

1467
01:01:57,865 --> 01:01:59,976
Hm? How about this?
[GRUNTING]

1468
01:01:59,977 --> 01:02:03,017
Or even shorter,
like a halter? Mm?

1469
01:02:03,018 --> 01:02:04,392
You-- You're--
You're hurting me.

1470
01:02:04,393 --> 01:02:06,216
Oh, am I hurting you?

1471
01:02:06,217 --> 01:02:07,977
Yeah. Yes. Don't hurt me.

1472
01:02:07,978 --> 01:02:10,281
Are you sensitive
to pain? Hm?

1473
01:02:10,282 --> 01:02:12,040
Very. Very.

1474
01:02:12,041 --> 01:02:14,920
Oh, I wouldn't want to
hurt you, sweetheart.

1475
01:02:14,921 --> 01:02:17,546
You're
too much fun. Mm?

1476
01:02:17,547 --> 01:02:19,017
Am I really?

1477
01:02:19,018 --> 01:02:21,289
Oh, yes.
You're wicked.

1478
01:02:21,290 --> 01:02:23,658
I like that. Yeah.

1479
01:02:23,659 --> 01:02:25,097
[CHUCKLES]

1480
01:02:25,098 --> 01:02:26,729
Do you know something?

1481
01:02:26,730 --> 01:02:28,394
Uh?

1482
01:02:28,395 --> 01:02:30,474
I don't think these earrings
really suit me.

1483
01:02:30,475 --> 01:02:31,978
Tsk. Oh.

1484
01:02:33,579 --> 01:02:35,243
You're right.
Take 'em off.

1485
01:02:40,268 --> 01:02:42,155
[CHUCKLES]
Uh-- And, uh...

1486
01:02:42,156 --> 01:02:45,290
I don't think this bracelet
is really my style either.

1487
01:02:47,851 --> 01:02:49,643
But the necklace
is nice.

1488
01:02:49,644 --> 01:02:51,467
Mm.
Mm.

1489
01:02:51,467 --> 01:02:53,228
I'm not totally sure.

1490
01:02:53,229 --> 01:02:54,156
Listen...

1491
01:02:54,157 --> 01:02:55,916
you can play
with these jewels

1492
01:02:55,917 --> 01:02:57,804
till the cows come home.

1493
01:02:57,805 --> 01:03:00,428
They're yours. Do what
you like with them.

1494
01:03:04,813 --> 01:03:05,836
But, uh...

1495
01:03:05,837 --> 01:03:07,884
I thought you'd
just stolen them.

1496
01:03:07,885 --> 01:03:10,252
No, no! It was a game!

1497
01:03:10,253 --> 01:03:12,877
It was just a game!

1498
01:03:12,878 --> 01:03:15,534
I thought it might
amuse you.

1499
01:03:15,535 --> 01:03:17,293
Hm?

1500
01:03:17,294 --> 01:03:18,317
[LAUGHING]

1501
01:03:28,143 --> 01:03:29,549
Huh?

1502
01:03:29,550 --> 01:03:31,534
Hm? Hm.

1503
01:03:31,535 --> 01:03:32,430
Well...

1504
01:03:34,703 --> 01:03:35,918
aren't you...

1505
01:03:35,919 --> 01:03:37,806
the wicked one?

1506
01:03:43,919 --> 01:03:45,423
Mm.

1507
01:03:45,424 --> 01:03:46,575
You remember what I said?

1508
01:03:48,304 --> 01:03:50,095
You won the first set, 6-love.

1509
01:03:50,096 --> 01:03:51,727
I was 3-love up
in the second.

1510
01:03:51,728 --> 01:03:52,783
Well...now

1511
01:03:52,784 --> 01:03:56,111
it's one set all.

1512
01:03:56,112 --> 01:03:58,575
[#]

1513
01:04:04,977 --> 01:04:07,088
But who's going to win...

1514
01:04:07,089 --> 01:04:08,816
the third set?

1515
01:04:10,801 --> 01:04:12,433
Remains to be seen.

1516
01:04:12,434 --> 01:04:13,585
[PUTS BOTTLE DOWN]

1517
01:04:31,442 --> 01:04:32,401
You like games, don't you?

1518
01:04:33,811 --> 01:04:36,274
Some. Not all.

1519
01:04:36,275 --> 01:04:38,579
But you like
being in charge...

1520
01:04:38,580 --> 01:04:39,987
of the game?

1521
01:04:41,523 --> 01:04:43,891
Oh, yes. Sure.

1522
01:04:45,460 --> 01:04:49,011
I like a man who wants
to be in charge of things.

1523
01:04:49,012 --> 01:04:50,419
Do you?

1524
01:04:50,420 --> 01:04:51,187
Yes, I do.

1525
01:04:52,692 --> 01:04:54,771
Listen. You've met
my wife, I think.

1526
01:04:56,245 --> 01:04:58,132
I have met her.

1527
01:04:58,133 --> 01:05:00,115
Yes.

1528
01:05:00,116 --> 01:05:01,715
Did she say
if she had a husband?

1529
01:05:01,716 --> 01:05:02,964
Yes.

1530
01:05:02,965 --> 01:05:05,684
Yeah. She said
she had a husband.

1531
01:05:05,685 --> 01:05:08,116
How did she
describe him?

1532
01:05:10,709 --> 01:05:11,861
Remote. Cold.

1533
01:05:13,397 --> 01:05:14,997
Malevolent.

1534
01:05:14,998 --> 01:05:16,212
Spiteful.

1535
01:05:16,213 --> 01:05:19,125
Arrogant. Ruthless.

1536
01:05:19,126 --> 01:05:21,045
Jealous. Paranoid.

1537
01:05:21,046 --> 01:05:22,901
Criminal tendencies.

1538
01:05:22,902 --> 01:05:24,565
Mentally unsound.

1539
01:05:24,566 --> 01:05:26,101
That's me, all right.
Heh-heh.

1540
01:05:26,102 --> 01:05:27,957
[BOTH LAUGH]

1541
01:05:30,550 --> 01:05:31,638
You know
something? I--

1542
01:05:31,639 --> 01:05:33,141
I like your mind.

1543
01:05:33,142 --> 01:05:34,357
[SIGHS]
Do you really?

1544
01:05:34,358 --> 01:05:35,798
It excites me.

1545
01:05:35,799 --> 01:05:37,558
I like the way
you go about things.

1546
01:05:38,903 --> 01:05:40,886
You mean...

1547
01:05:40,887 --> 01:05:42,678
you like my style?

1548
01:05:42,679 --> 01:05:45,078
Oh, I-- I like
your style.

1549
01:05:45,079 --> 01:05:46,646
I like it very much.

1550
01:05:48,568 --> 01:05:50,327
Look, I want to

1551
01:05:50,328 --> 01:05:51,447
make you a proposition.

1552
01:05:53,016 --> 01:05:53,527
What?

1553
01:05:56,729 --> 01:05:58,614
I want to show you something.

1554
01:06:02,841 --> 01:06:04,727
Can't you put that
gun down now?

1555
01:06:04,728 --> 01:06:06,745
Mm...no.

1556
01:06:06,746 --> 01:06:09,432
God, you're so strong,
so ruthless, aren't you?

1557
01:06:09,433 --> 01:06:10,777
Yes.

1558
01:06:10,778 --> 01:06:11,896
Have you
any idea what

1559
01:06:11,897 --> 01:06:13,817
my proposition
is going to be?

1560
01:06:13,818 --> 01:06:14,777
No.

1561
01:06:14,778 --> 01:06:16,185
Are you excited?

1562
01:06:16,186 --> 01:06:17,433
I'd say intrigued.

1563
01:06:17,434 --> 01:06:20,216
I think you're going to be
excited very much.

1564
01:06:20,217 --> 01:06:21,272
This...

1565
01:06:21,273 --> 01:06:22,616
is the guest suite.

1566
01:06:25,018 --> 01:06:26,201
Isn't it nice?

1567
01:06:26,202 --> 01:06:27,065
Look at the view.

1568
01:06:29,434 --> 01:06:31,481
There's a private
bathroom. Small fridge.

1569
01:06:31,482 --> 01:06:32,762
A bottle of Chilean
Chardonnay

1570
01:06:32,763 --> 01:06:35,482
is chilling in there
at this very moment.

1571
01:06:37,338 --> 01:06:38,970
This suite...

1572
01:06:38,970 --> 01:06:39,834
is uninhabited.

1573
01:06:41,916 --> 01:06:43,227
It has no occupant.

1574
01:06:48,988 --> 01:06:49,948
How would you like it?

1575
01:06:53,660 --> 01:06:55,035
Me?

1576
01:06:56,923 --> 01:06:58,810
Yes. Yes.

1577
01:06:58,811 --> 01:07:00,763
I think I've come
to the conclusion

1578
01:07:00,764 --> 01:07:01,820
that you're...

1579
01:07:01,821 --> 01:07:03,259
my kind of person.

1580
01:07:06,397 --> 01:07:08,124
Am I, now?

1581
01:07:08,125 --> 01:07:09,052
Well-- Well, I told you.

1582
01:07:09,053 --> 01:07:11,324
I-I liked your mind.
It excited me.

1583
01:07:11,325 --> 01:07:12,604
I-- I need...

1584
01:07:12,605 --> 01:07:14,332
intellectual excitement.

1585
01:07:14,333 --> 01:07:17,117
Intellectual stimulation.

1586
01:07:19,134 --> 01:07:19,965
Well, they don't grow
on trees.

1587
01:07:21,279 --> 01:07:23,901
I'm a rich man.

1588
01:07:23,902 --> 01:07:25,980
What do you want to do?

1589
01:07:25,981 --> 01:07:27,613
I can subsidize...

1590
01:07:27,614 --> 01:07:28,765
anything you want.

1591
01:07:28,766 --> 01:07:31,805
You want to open
a bookshop in the village?

1592
01:07:32,990 --> 01:07:33,693
An art gallery?

1593
01:07:33,694 --> 01:07:35,645
Or, of course...

1594
01:07:35,646 --> 01:07:36,701
a little theater.

1595
01:07:36,702 --> 01:07:37,918
You're
a wonderful actor.

1596
01:07:37,919 --> 01:07:39,358
You could choose
all the plays

1597
01:07:39,359 --> 01:07:41,470
and play
all the leading parts.

1598
01:07:43,135 --> 01:07:44,926
But...

1599
01:07:44,927 --> 01:07:47,135
<i>this would be your home.</i>

1600
01:07:51,231 --> 01:07:53,216
And this would be
your bedroom.

1601
01:07:58,848 --> 01:08:00,576
You're asking me...

1602
01:08:00,577 --> 01:08:02,014
to live here?

1603
01:08:04,160 --> 01:08:05,984
Yes, I'm asking
you, uh...

1604
01:08:05,985 --> 01:08:07,712
to stay with me.

1605
01:08:07,713 --> 01:08:09,663
Oh, w-- We would
also travel.

1606
01:08:09,664 --> 01:08:12,449
I mean, Jamaica,
Swiss Alps.

1607
01:08:12,450 --> 01:08:14,432
I bet you're a wonderful
skier, aren't you?

1608
01:08:14,433 --> 01:08:16,480
You could ski
to your heart's content.

1609
01:08:16,481 --> 01:08:18,656
Swim in the blue
Caribbean.

1610
01:08:18,657 --> 01:08:20,673
I'd be waiting
at our table

1611
01:08:20,674 --> 01:08:22,432
with a Scotch
on the rocks.

1612
01:08:22,433 --> 01:08:24,833
Or a chilled
Chilean Chardonnay.

1613
01:08:24,834 --> 01:08:27,201
[CHUCKLES]

1614
01:08:27,202 --> 01:08:28,993
The world would be your oyster.

1615
01:08:31,522 --> 01:08:32,674
But what about Maggie?

1616
01:08:35,107 --> 01:08:36,929
Forget her.

1617
01:08:36,930 --> 01:08:38,114
Let her rot.

1618
01:08:40,131 --> 01:08:41,633
Stay with me.

1619
01:08:41,634 --> 01:08:43,553
You're my kind
of person.

1620
01:08:51,556 --> 01:08:53,314
[LAUGHS]
It's quite tempting.

1621
01:08:54,883 --> 01:08:56,194
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

1622
01:09:03,845 --> 01:09:04,676
Hello?

1623
01:09:05,957 --> 01:09:06,915
Hi.

1624
01:09:09,253 --> 01:09:10,916
It's going okay.

1625
01:09:13,957 --> 01:09:15,716
We're still talking.

1626
01:09:17,413 --> 01:09:18,661
We're on
the right track.

1627
01:09:18,662 --> 01:09:19,524
It's all going okay.

1628
01:09:21,093 --> 01:09:23,141
Don't come down.

1629
01:09:23,142 --> 01:09:24,709
That would be
a mistake.

1630
01:09:24,710 --> 01:09:25,764
It's all going fine.

1631
01:09:28,038 --> 01:09:29,605
I love you too.

1632
01:09:31,302 --> 01:09:32,005
I am.

1633
01:09:33,510 --> 01:09:35,333
I'm kissing you.

1634
01:09:36,422 --> 01:09:37,285
Oh, yes.

1635
01:09:39,079 --> 01:09:41,126
I can taste
your mouth.

1636
01:09:46,151 --> 01:09:47,430
What the hell did she want?

1637
01:09:49,223 --> 01:09:50,599
She wants that divorce.

1638
01:09:52,711 --> 01:09:54,566
What about my proposition?

1639
01:09:58,280 --> 01:09:59,943
Well, I like the idea
of Jamaica.

1640
01:09:59,944 --> 01:10:01,447
[CHUCKLES]

1641
01:10:01,448 --> 01:10:02,535
What about
Barbados?

1642
01:10:02,536 --> 01:10:04,902
Well, and Barbados.
And Antigua.

1643
01:10:04,903 --> 01:10:06,055
Yeah. It's true.

1644
01:10:06,056 --> 01:10:07,687
There are so many places
I haven't seen.

1645
01:10:07,688 --> 01:10:10,440
Hollywood. Uh, Saint Petersburg.

1646
01:10:10,441 --> 01:10:12,711
The C�te d'Azur, Coney Island--

1647
01:10:12,712 --> 01:10:15,720
Oh, and I hear there's that
wonderful hotel in Scotland

1648
01:10:15,721 --> 01:10:17,736
called Balmoral.
That's where the queen lives.

1649
01:10:17,737 --> 01:10:19,688
Ah. So bed and breakfast
is out.

1650
01:10:19,689 --> 01:10:20,872
It's on if you know the queen.

1651
01:10:20,873 --> 01:10:22,056
I don't.

1652
01:10:22,057 --> 01:10:23,145
I do.

1653
01:10:23,146 --> 01:10:25,768
That's fantastic.

1654
01:10:25,769 --> 01:10:27,625
[CHUCKLES]

1655
01:10:27,625 --> 01:10:29,768
But-- But seriously, though.

1656
01:10:29,769 --> 01:10:32,617
We could have such
a wonderful time together.

1657
01:10:32,618 --> 01:10:34,313
Venice? Disneyland?

1658
01:10:34,314 --> 01:10:35,818
Whatever you want.

1659
01:10:35,819 --> 01:10:37,065
Whatever you want.

1660
01:10:37,066 --> 01:10:38,569
Whoever you want.

1661
01:10:38,570 --> 01:10:40,137
I could introduce you

1662
01:10:40,138 --> 01:10:41,578
to whoever you want.

1663
01:10:41,579 --> 01:10:44,393
Kissinger? Dick Cheney?

1664
01:10:44,394 --> 01:10:45,737
Madonna? Mike Tyson?

1665
01:10:45,738 --> 01:10:46,634
Yes.
Yes?

1666
01:10:47,787 --> 01:10:50,538
I must say,
that as offers go...

1667
01:10:52,811 --> 01:10:55,082
it's quite tempting.

1668
01:10:58,156 --> 01:11:00,267
You're a naughty tempter,
aren't you?

1669
01:11:02,603 --> 01:11:04,427
I'm so glad
you like my mind.

1670
01:11:04,428 --> 01:11:05,962
Not many people
like my mind.

1671
01:11:07,149 --> 01:11:09,739
Quite a few people
like my body, but, uh...

1672
01:11:09,740 --> 01:11:11,051
I can't think of anyone
who likes my mind.

1673
01:11:13,197 --> 01:11:14,124
That makes you unique.

1674
01:11:15,437 --> 01:11:17,579
Tsk. But then,
of course...

1675
01:11:17,580 --> 01:11:19,148
you know what
they say.

1676
01:11:19,148 --> 01:11:20,300
The mind is the body.

1677
01:11:21,741 --> 01:11:23,051
Is that what they say?

1678
01:11:23,052 --> 01:11:25,485
Somebody said something like it
once. Bullshit, of course.

1679
01:11:25,486 --> 01:11:26,509
Anyway...

1680
01:11:26,510 --> 01:11:29,389
perhaps I am
your sort of person.

1681
01:11:29,390 --> 01:11:30,381
Who knows?

1682
01:11:31,566 --> 01:11:32,653
But you...

1683
01:11:32,654 --> 01:11:36,141
<i>would have to be
very nice to me.</i>

1684
01:11:36,142 --> 01:11:38,061
For instance,
just at this moment,

1685
01:11:38,062 --> 01:11:40,141
I need a drink.

1686
01:11:41,870 --> 01:11:43,853
[#]

1687
01:11:50,287 --> 01:11:52,494
You can get your own drink.

1688
01:11:52,495 --> 01:11:55,533
No, you get it for me,
and I might be nice to you.

1689
01:11:55,534 --> 01:11:56,494
Nice to me?

1690
01:11:56,495 --> 01:11:57,550
That's what I said.

1691
01:11:57,551 --> 01:11:58,830
Whiskey, please.
[SNAPS]

1692
01:12:12,368 --> 01:12:13,392
Hm.

1693
01:12:15,535 --> 01:12:17,393
Mm.

1694
01:12:17,394 --> 01:12:18,416
Can't deny,

1695
01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:19,761
I can be...

1696
01:12:19,762 --> 01:12:21,584
quite a congenial
companion.

1697
01:12:21,585 --> 01:12:23,409
I really-- I can't
deny it. Heh-heh.

1698
01:12:26,290 --> 01:12:27,312
I could be...

1699
01:12:27,312 --> 01:12:29,169
quite a...

1700
01:12:29,169 --> 01:12:31,025
witty...

1701
01:12:31,026 --> 01:12:32,145
companion.

1702
01:12:32,146 --> 01:12:34,448
Would you
like...

1703
01:12:34,449 --> 01:12:36,977
<i>a witty
companion?</i>

1704
01:12:36,978 --> 01:12:38,770
Very much.

1705
01:12:38,771 --> 01:12:42,129
[PLAYFUL] I'm particularly witty
in the morning.

1706
01:12:42,130 --> 01:12:43,889
Would that suit you?

1707
01:12:45,042 --> 01:12:47,057
Some people
hate...

1708
01:12:47,058 --> 01:12:49,970
wit...in the morning.

1709
01:12:49,970 --> 01:12:50,930
What about you?

1710
01:12:50,931 --> 01:12:52,113
I-I love wit in the morning.

1711
01:12:53,939 --> 01:12:55,730
Over boiled eggs?

1712
01:12:57,812 --> 01:12:59,538
[QUIET MENACE]
Do you like eggs?

1713
01:12:59,539 --> 01:13:00,947
Absolutely.

1714
01:13:06,163 --> 01:13:08,946
I'm a dab hand
in the kitchen.

1715
01:13:08,947 --> 01:13:10,356
But...

1716
01:13:10,357 --> 01:13:11,540
you have to be
nice to me

1717
01:13:11,541 --> 01:13:12,883
and get me a drink

1718
01:13:12,884 --> 01:13:14,099
when I ask for it.

1719
01:13:37,078 --> 01:13:37,653
You see?

1720
01:13:39,766 --> 01:13:42,581
You can be
really sweet

1721
01:13:42,582 --> 01:13:45,109
when you put
your mind to it.

1722
01:13:45,110 --> 01:13:46,070
Cheers.

1723
01:13:51,894 --> 01:13:53,430
Listen, I can see
what you're saying.

1724
01:13:54,903 --> 01:13:56,791
I can see why you're
inviting me to live with you.

1725
01:13:58,326 --> 01:13:59,670
I can see that
you're lonely.

1726
01:14:00,919 --> 01:14:02,358
That you need
looking after.

1727
01:14:02,359 --> 01:14:04,182
It's obvious.

1728
01:14:04,183 --> 01:14:05,750
You need someone
who would

1729
01:14:05,751 --> 01:14:08,087
cater for
your every whim.

1730
01:14:08,088 --> 01:14:10,039
Don't you?

1731
01:14:10,040 --> 01:14:11,350
I do.

1732
01:14:11,351 --> 01:14:13,175
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

1733
01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:19,895
Hello?

1734
01:14:19,896 --> 01:14:21,593
Darling.

1735
01:14:21,593 --> 01:14:22,649
What?

1736
01:14:25,657 --> 01:14:27,448
Oh, is that so?

1737
01:14:27,449 --> 01:14:28,440
Are you?

1738
01:14:31,769 --> 01:14:33,625
Huh. I see.

1739
01:14:33,626 --> 01:14:35,672
Are you sure?

1740
01:14:35,673 --> 01:14:37,880
I see.

1741
01:14:37,881 --> 01:14:38,969
I got it.

1742
01:14:41,307 --> 01:14:43,288
I told you I got it.
I understand.

1743
01:14:45,018 --> 01:14:45,689
Okay.

1744
01:14:47,515 --> 01:14:49,241
Okay, I'll tell him.

1745
01:14:49,242 --> 01:14:50,073
Tell me what?

1746
01:14:53,850 --> 01:14:55,098
That she loves you.

1747
01:14:55,099 --> 01:14:57,338
Is that so?

1748
01:14:57,339 --> 01:14:58,906
What else did she say?

1749
01:14:58,907 --> 01:15:00,251
Nothing.

1750
01:15:00,252 --> 01:15:01,563
Nothing?
Nothing.

1751
01:15:01,564 --> 01:15:03,034
Listen, for chrissake...

1752
01:15:03,035 --> 01:15:05,211
make up your mind.

1753
01:15:05,212 --> 01:15:07,227
I'm offering you
something special.

1754
01:15:07,228 --> 01:15:09,594
Something
very special.

1755
01:15:09,595 --> 01:15:11,482
We seal it with
a handshake.

1756
01:15:11,483 --> 01:15:13,115
And she's nowhere.

1757
01:15:13,115 --> 01:15:14,716
We cut her out,
you understand?

1758
01:15:14,717 --> 01:15:17,019
We cut her out
of our lives.

1759
01:15:17,020 --> 01:15:18,556
Don't let her
dominate you.

1760
01:15:18,557 --> 01:15:19,516
Be yourself.

1761
01:15:19,517 --> 01:15:21,244
Be independent.
Be free.

1762
01:15:21,245 --> 01:15:22,299
Like you?

1763
01:15:22,300 --> 01:15:24,123
That's right.
Be free like me.

1764
01:15:24,124 --> 01:15:26,043
[RINGING]

1765
01:15:39,294 --> 01:15:40,413
<i>[PHONE RINGING]</i>

1766
01:15:46,238 --> 01:15:47,325
[RINGS]

1767
01:15:47,326 --> 01:15:48,092
[RINGING STOPS]

1768
01:15:54,623 --> 01:15:55,901
[PUTS GUN DOWN]

1769
01:15:59,551 --> 01:16:00,957
I've...

1770
01:16:00,958 --> 01:16:02,942
always been attracted...

1771
01:16:02,943 --> 01:16:05,054
to rich and
powerful men.

1772
01:16:07,008 --> 01:16:08,190
Rich and
powerful men

1773
01:16:08,191 --> 01:16:09,631
make all the girls
quiver...

1774
01:16:09,632 --> 01:16:11,071
like a jelly
on a plate.

1775
01:16:12,896 --> 01:16:13,983
But you're not a girl.

1776
01:16:15,456 --> 01:16:18,080
Tickles the old
cobblers...

1777
01:16:18,081 --> 01:16:19,711
money.

1778
01:16:19,712 --> 01:16:21,919
Girls don't
have cobblers.

1779
01:16:21,920 --> 01:16:23,391
You'd be surprised.

1780
01:16:28,321 --> 01:16:30,848
But you're not a girl.

1781
01:16:30,849 --> 01:16:32,417
I may have been once.

1782
01:16:34,177 --> 01:16:36,064
[WHISPERS]
Back in the good old days.

1783
01:16:38,242 --> 01:16:39,808
Maybe the good old days
are coming back.

1784
01:16:41,633 --> 01:16:43,042
Who knows?

1785
01:16:44,226 --> 01:16:45,825
Look...

1786
01:16:48,482 --> 01:16:50,945
I'd really like to
see your bed.

1787
01:16:52,642 --> 01:16:53,569
I mean...

1788
01:16:53,570 --> 01:16:55,041
let me be quite clear.

1789
01:16:56,706 --> 01:16:59,329
This looks a very nice
bed indeed.

1790
01:17:00,323 --> 01:17:02,306
But yours is bigger.

1791
01:17:04,900 --> 01:17:06,850
Can I take another look?

1792
01:17:06,851 --> 01:17:08,259
Sure.

1793
01:17:11,140 --> 01:17:12,386
Is this how you do it?

1794
01:17:18,756 --> 01:17:20,067
Miraculous.

1795
01:17:29,892 --> 01:17:31,235
[LAUGHS]

1796
01:17:31,236 --> 01:17:33,508
I could really
get to like this.

1797
01:17:33,509 --> 01:17:35,397
Of course, this...

1798
01:17:35,398 --> 01:17:36,709
is the marriage
bed,

1799
01:17:36,710 --> 01:17:38,052
isn't it?

1800
01:17:38,053 --> 01:17:39,685
Mm.

1801
01:17:39,686 --> 01:17:42,213
Is this where she took
your virginity?

1802
01:17:42,214 --> 01:17:45,380
Is this where your wife
deflowered you?

1803
01:17:45,381 --> 01:17:47,301
Is this where you were
deflowered?

1804
01:17:47,302 --> 01:17:48,325
[SIGHS]

1805
01:17:49,158 --> 01:17:50,468
It's a lovely bed.

1806
01:17:52,133 --> 01:17:54,566
So...bouncy.

1807
01:17:57,798 --> 01:18:00,294
[SOBBING]

1808
01:18:00,295 --> 01:18:02,854
I'm so touched...

1809
01:18:02,855 --> 01:18:05,734
that you've offered me
a place in your heart.

1810
01:18:05,734 --> 01:18:08,518
In your life.

1811
01:18:08,519 --> 01:18:09,958
I'm touched.

1812
01:18:21,064 --> 01:18:22,854
Take your hand off me.

1813
01:18:25,896 --> 01:18:27,463
Take your hand off me.

1814
01:18:30,313 --> 01:18:32,008
Fuck off!

1815
01:18:32,009 --> 01:18:33,448
Fuck off,
you big poof!

1816
01:18:33,449 --> 01:18:35,400
Jesus.
I come here...

1817
01:18:35,401 --> 01:18:37,224
as an innocent bystander.

1818
01:18:37,225 --> 01:18:40,264
As a totally
respectable individual.

1819
01:18:40,265 --> 01:18:42,344
A humble part-time
hairdresser.

1820
01:18:42,345 --> 01:18:43,463
And you try to corrupt me.

1821
01:18:43,464 --> 01:18:45,064
You try to seduce me.

1822
01:18:45,065 --> 01:18:45,672
Do you know what you are?

1823
01:18:45,673 --> 01:18:47,465
You're a menace.

1824
01:18:47,466 --> 01:18:49,577
Also...

1825
01:18:49,578 --> 01:18:51,433
you're a cunt.

1826
01:18:51,434 --> 01:18:52,681
Well, uh...

1827
01:18:52,682 --> 01:18:55,305
now you really
are charming.

1828
01:18:55,306 --> 01:18:57,033
You know who's gonna love

1829
01:18:57,034 --> 01:18:58,345
this story?
What story?

1830
01:18:58,346 --> 01:19:00,009
This one. This one.
Who?

1831
01:19:00,010 --> 01:19:01,513
Maggie!
Really?

1832
01:19:01,514 --> 01:19:03,627
By the way, she asked me
to tell you something.

1833
01:19:03,627 --> 01:19:05,770
What?
That she's coming back to you.

1834
01:19:05,771 --> 01:19:06,570
She's on her way.

1835
01:19:08,299 --> 01:19:09,546
She's coming
back to me?

1836
01:19:09,547 --> 01:19:11,051
That's what she told me
on the phone.

1837
01:19:11,052 --> 01:19:12,778
I don't want her.
Well, you've got her.

1838
01:19:12,779 --> 01:19:14,539
She's all yours.
You're welcome to her.

1839
01:19:14,540 --> 01:19:16,842
<i>She loves your money, baby.</i>

1840
01:19:16,843 --> 01:19:19,242
That's the nub of it.

1841
01:19:19,243 --> 01:19:20,651
I don't want her.

1842
01:19:20,652 --> 01:19:21,579
[SNIFFLES]

1843
01:19:26,669 --> 01:19:28,363
What are you doing
with that coat?

1844
01:19:28,364 --> 01:19:29,548
I'm taking it.

1845
01:19:29,549 --> 01:19:31,404
Tell Maggie
I'll be in touch.

1846
01:19:31,405 --> 01:19:33,420
I want to have a drink with her.
Bring her up to date.

1847
01:19:34,220 --> 01:19:36,427
Hm.

1848
01:19:36,428 --> 01:19:38,796
How do you like me
in this coat?

1849
01:19:38,797 --> 01:19:39,885
Do you fancy me?

1850
01:19:43,694 --> 01:19:45,549
Goodbye...darling.

1851
01:19:50,958 --> 01:19:51,788
Wait a minute.

1852
01:19:53,773 --> 01:19:55,565
Yes? What?

1853
01:20:02,383 --> 01:20:03,950
ANDREW:
Goodbye, darling.

1854
01:20:06,159 --> 01:20:07,757
[CAR APPROACHING]

1855
01:20:17,616 --> 01:20:19,950
[#]

1856
01:21:04,657 --> 01:21:05,393
[DOOR BUZZER BUZZES]

1857
01:21:07,795 --> 01:21:10,195
[#]

1858
01:22:10,196 --> 01:22:11,196
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