1
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,482
CHOIR: (SINGING)
Oh, happy day, happy day

2
00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:54,431
WOMAN: (SINGING) Oh, happy day

3
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:58,591
Oh, happy day, happy day
Oh, what a happy day

4
00:00:58,591 --> 00:01:00,260
Oh, happy day, happy day

5
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:03,496
Oh, happy day, happy day
Oh, yeah, yeah

6
00:01:03,496 --> 00:01:07,569
Oh, happy day, happy day
Oh, what a happy day

7
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,782
Jesus, Jesus
Oh, my Jesus

8
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:18,678
Jesus, Jesus
Oh, my Jesus
let me see the way

9
00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:22,515
Oh, happy day, happy day
Oh, yes it is

10
00:01:22,515 --> 00:01:25,652
He taught me how

11
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,921
To walk
How to walk

12
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,590
ALL: Fight and pray

13
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:33,093
Fight and pray
Yeah, yeah

14
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,996
And then rejoice
happy day, happy day

15
00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:38,566
Happy day

16
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:44,571
Happy day
Oh, oh, oh, oh

17
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:47,551
Oh, happy day, happy day

18
00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:49,909
Well, look what rolled in.

19
00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:54,047
You know, at first, I thought
you was old-ass Raisinet
riding on a skateboard.

20
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:58,495
I'd like to come over there
and choke the life out of you
right in front of Jesus.

21
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:01,054
Sweet Lord, give me strength.

22
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,189
Don't make me
have to whoop nobody's
head in church.

23
00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:05,024
Ignore him, Lord.
Ignore all his prayers.

24
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:06,793
He ain't nothing,
never did nothing.

25
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,465
Give him a stroke
or something.

26
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:16,438
Do you, Sherman Klump?
Yes, I do. Indeed, I do.

27
00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:22,308
Oh, happy day, happy day
Oh, yeah, happy day

28
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:23,510
(GUESTS CLAPPING)

29
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:26,346
Happy day, happy day.
Happy day, my ass.

30
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:27,950
(ORGAN PLAYING)

31
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:32,252
GRANNY: Oh, he look handsome.

32
00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:34,521
Oh, my baby's
finally getting married.

33
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:37,228
Never thought I'd live
to see the day. Finally.

34
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:43,897
Oh, here she comes,
here she comes.

35
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:01,714
I'm gonna cry.

36
00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:04,785
I promised myself
I wasn't gonna cry.
Now I'm gonna cry.

37
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:14,127
Yeah, all right. Dynamite.

38
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,396
You may be seated.

39
00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:20,344
Oh, thank God.
Oh, thank God.

40
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,811
I always knew
he'd find the right girl.
Always knew.

41
00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:33,346
You see the Indian
in her cheekbones?

42
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:35,281
Sherman, Sherman. Sherman.

43
00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:37,951
Sherman, Sherman, Sherman.
Sherman ! Oh, Lord.

44
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,186
Stop behaving so stupid.

45
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:42,893
Dearly beloved,
we have gathered here today

46
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:46,125
to join these two people
in holy matrimony.

47
00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:47,327
Praise the Lord.

48
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:50,398
PREACHER:
The eminent scientist,
Professor Sherman Klump

49
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,800
and his longtime sweetheart,
Denise Gaines.

50
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,074
Oh, Sherman.

51
00:03:58,137 --> 00:04:00,974
PREACHER: If anyone has
any reason why these two

52
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:03,716
should not be wed,
let him speak now

53
00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:06,855
or forever hold his penis.

54
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,448
Oh, Sherman.

55
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:13,353
That's it, son.
Show them what
the Klumps are made of!

56
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,054
Sherman, put that away.

57
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:18,296
Sherman, calm down, baby.
Save it for the honeymoon.

58
00:04:21,527 --> 00:04:23,006
Surprise!

59
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,810
Hey, Sherman,
calm down, boy.
What's wrong with you?

60
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,852
(GRUNTING)

61
00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:55,730
This is some scary shit.
Yeah, like The Outer Limits.

62
00:04:56,296 --> 00:05:00,600
No, don't hurt yourself, baby.
You are coming with Buddy.

63
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,773
No! No!

64
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:04,878
See you later, Chunky Butt!

65
00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:06,172
(LAUGHING EVILLY)

66
00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:07,412
No!

67
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:10,176
And then I wake up
in a cold sweat.

68
00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:13,919
How often do you
have this dream?
More and more lately.

69
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,483
You seem to be very fond
of this girl, Denise.

70
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,963
My God,
she is so special to me.

71
00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:23,189
But how's she gonna love me
when I got Buddy Love
inside me?

72
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:24,424
I wanna be perfect for her.

73
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:27,927
Perfect?
No one is perfect, Sherman.

74
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:31,698
You need to understand
that Buddy Love
is a representation

75
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:34,838
of the uninhibited,
hedonistic id.

76
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:37,970
He is not a real person.
Buddy Love is real !

77
00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:40,707
Well, he was real,
and he does take control
of me sometimes.

78
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:43,076
You will never learn
to control him. . .
BUDDY: Sherman!

79
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:46,579
. . .until you accept
the fact that he
is a part of you.

80
00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:49,615
Yeah, and the best part, too!
And I'll tell you
something else, punk!

81
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:52,518
All these diplomas
on this wall
don't make up for the fact

82
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,587
that you got
a little Vienna sausage
in your drawers.

83
00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:55,955
Is that why
they call you a shrink?

84
00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:58,491
Shut up, fat. . .

85
00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:00,368
(BUDDY LAUGHING EVILLY)

86
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:02,428
Sorry.
Yeah, yes.

87
00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:04,664
Session got a little
out of control.

88
00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:08,935
You see,
we all have a little
Buddy Love inside us.

89
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:11,604
Yeah.
But we can't let him
rule our lives.

90
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:14,240
You're in charge, Sherman.
Can you say that for me?

91
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,309
I'm in charge.
Can't hear you.

92
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,044
I'm in charge.
Can't hear you !

93
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:21,081
I'm in charge!
Sorry about that.

94
00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:25,327
Yeah. Klump in charge.
I'm in charge.

95
00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:30,790
He's right. I am in charge.

96
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:33,736
Klump in charge. Yes, indeed.

97
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:39,739
Good afternoon, ladies. Yeah.

98
00:06:44,837 --> 00:06:46,239
Hey, Professor Klump.
How's it going?

99
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,907
Fantastic.
How about yourself?

100
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,410
Yeah. Klump in charge.

101
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,446
Afternoon. Good day.
Hi.

102
00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:55,152
How you doing?

103
00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:59,285
Wonderful day.

104
00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:02,755
Beautiful day,
isn't it, Professor?
Bite me, old hag.

105
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:03,923
(BUDDY LAUGHING EVILLY)

106
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,758
What?

107
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:08,327
I said, he likes me.
Look at him wag.

108
00:07:08,327 --> 00:07:11,831
Hey, little fella.
See that little tail wagging?

109
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:15,835
Have a good day.
I'm in charge. My goodness.

110
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:25,845
Kind of hot today,
huh, Professor?

111
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,914
You have no idea
how hot it is.

112
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,615
Hot! Nice and hot!

113
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:33,085
Oh, Professor.
I loved your lecture
the other day.

114
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:35,963
Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.

115
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:42,530
You're the man.
You're the man.
I'm in control.

116
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,765
Yeah, keep telling
yourself that, bubble butt!

117
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,801
(LAUGHING EVILLY)

118
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:57,483
It is theoretically
possible to isolate
the elements

119
00:07:57,743 --> 00:08:00,780
of an individual’s
genetic makeup
and separate them.

120
00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:03,049
Now someday,
we may be able to

121
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:06,752
Locate an unhealthy
risk factor in our DNA
and remove it.

122
00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:09,989
SHERMAN: Excuse me.
Beg your pardon.

123
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,968
I'm sorry. Excuse me.

124
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,001
(MUFFLED YELLING)

125
00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:18,598
Whether this is advisable
is another question entirely.

126
00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:20,099
STUDENT: Oh, my eye!

127
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,102
Oh, Professor Klump.

128
00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:25,671
Oh ! Professor Gaines,
how are you?

129
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:28,140
I was hoping I might be able
to sit in on your lecture.

130
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:29,775
I'm sure we can
accommodate you

131
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:31,879
since you were so
quiet coming in.

132
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,081
Well, it's very hard
to be quiet

133
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,083
when you're lecturing
on genomic extractions.

134
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:39,652
I think it's very exciting.
Oh, I agree completely.

135
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:42,588
Something about the way
the nucleotides cohere
with the target sequence.

136
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:46,626
Yeah. I always say,
if you can't be with
the nucleotide that you love,

137
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,662
cohere with the one
you're with.

138
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:57,944
Yeah.

139
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,872
Anyway as I was. . .

140
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,140
(BELL RINGING)

141
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:04,443
I want those lab reports
on my desk. No excuses.

142
00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:06,650
I'll see you next time.

143
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,417
Professor Gaines.

144
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:13,590
Oh, Professor Klump.
Yeah.

145
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:18,758
Yes, I was. . .
I was wondering
if you had a. . .

146
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:19,895
Ahem.

147
00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:23,129
Dean Richmond, we were. . .
Just having a little chat.

148
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,064
Don't be bashful,
Professor Gaines.

149
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,767
Pound for pound,
this big lug's the greatest
scientist on the planet.

150
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:31,237
And let's be honest,
pound for pound,
he is a planet.

151
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,438
That's said with love.

152
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:34,173
Did you get those
goo-goo clusters
I sent you?

153
00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:36,642
Yes, I did, thank you,

154
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:38,945
but I'm on a diet right now,
so I can't eat them.

155
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:41,180
And it's working beautifully.
No, I'm telling you.

156
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,583
When I came in,
with this light
and in that outfit,

157
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,120
you could really think
for a second that. . .

158
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:48,461
Anyway, you said
you had something to show me.

159
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,457
I am so excited
about this, Dean.
You will be, too.

160
00:09:51,457 --> 00:09:54,727
You got that? Come on.
Jason, where's our patient?

161
00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:56,529
Right here, Professor.
Come on, boy.

162
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:57,663
(DOG BARKING)

163
00:09:57,663 --> 00:09:59,031
SHERMAN: Now this is Buster.

164
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:01,534
Buster suffers from
acute arthritis
and diminished vision,

165
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,636
which are both signs
of advanced aging.

166
00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:07,106
We're gonna see if we can fix
all of Buster's problems
right now, aren't we, Buster?

167
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,342
Yes, we are.
This little experiment

168
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:13,346
makes use of
Professor Gaines's brilliant
research on gene targeting.

169
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:16,649
Now, if I've composed
this formula properly,

170
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:19,686
this should be
most impressive.

171
00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:21,995
All right, Buster.

172
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:32,803
Jiminy freaking Cricket!

173
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:36,902
DENISE: Sherman,
this is amazing.

174
00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:40,139
You've just discovered. . .
The fountain of youth.

175
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,340
This is huge.

176
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:43,109
Do you have any idea
what you've done?

177
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:44,810
This is unbelievable.
We're rich.

178
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,246
We're gonna have every
pharmaceutical company
in the world

179
00:10:47,246 --> 00:10:48,748
Lining up
to throw money at us.

180
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:50,616
Of course, it all has to
be properly tested first.

181
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:51,751
Exactly, yes.

182
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:52,818
He makes an interesting point.

183
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,420
Here's another. Shut up!

184
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,554
Besides, look at
the little fella.

185
00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:57,056
He can lick his own
winky again.

186
00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:58,491
(DOG BARKING)

187
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,827
There's not a guy in the world
who wouldn’t wanna do that.

188
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,295
Klump!
Dean Richmond !

189
00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:04,997
SHERMAN:
The effect is only temporary.
I'm sorry, sir.

190
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,699
You're sorry?
Oh, my goodness.

191
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:09,001
I'm just trying
not to think where
that tongue has been !

192
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,639
(GROANS)
You all right?

193
00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:23,015
Klump, party of six, please.

194
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,323
Yes, and we're hungry.

195
00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:46,739
Mama, you know,
you really look good.
Have you been losing weight?

196
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:50,409
Oh, thank you, baby, no,
but I'm getting ready
to start a new diet.

197
00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:52,111
Have some of this ambrosia.

198
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:53,679
I don't even like ambrosia.

199
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:54,780
Don't tell me
you don't like ambrosia.

200
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,415
You had some before,
and you liked it.

201
00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:57,483
Have some adventure!

202
00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,151
Oh, now I'm a child.
I don't know what I like.

203
00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,053
. . .for the all-girls
soccer team.

204
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,823
Let me get that for you.
Oh, my baby's so gallant.

205
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:05,962
PAPA: Sherman, come here.

206
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:08,627
And it's called
"all the pork
you can eat" diet.

207
00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:09,795
You can have all
the pork you want.

208
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:12,898
You can have ham,
bacon, sausage.

209
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:14,200
I got the wrong thing.

210
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,534
Take that.
Thank you.

211
00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:17,937
Now I got a full portion.
Whatever you wanna eat,

212
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:20,206
just as long as you have
three glasses of
grapefruit juice afterwards

213
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:23,476
because the grapefruit juice
breaks down
all the unwanted. . .

214
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,746
Get away from there!
Stop that! Baby!

215
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,280
Honey, get the baby.

216
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,449
PAPA: He's a boy,
and boys don't be doing
stuff like that.

217
00:12:30,449 --> 00:12:33,719
Hey! Get your ass. . .
What?

218
00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:35,020
Please teach that boy manners.

219
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:36,455
He ain't gonna be acting
like no hooligan with me.

220
00:12:36,455 --> 00:12:38,657
That was a spoon or fork?
That was a spoon. All right.

221
00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:41,160
PAPA: Boys will be boys.
Boys will be boys.

222
00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:43,963
Oh, this looks fabulous.

223
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:45,931
Yeah, it looks really good.

224
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,233
How about getting
another bottle of red
over here?

225
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:48,367
PAPA: Get some more wine.

226
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:51,237
Hey, Ernie, maybe you wanna
pace yourself
and take it easy, huh?

227
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:54,774
Pace myself?
Hey, this is a cerebration
for Daddy retiring.

228
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:59,245
We owe it to Daddy
to get shit-faced,
and I'm gonna get shit-faced.

229
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:02,915
By the way,
congratulations, Mr. Klump.
She's so polite.

230
00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:05,584
Look here, Denise,
you have to stop
that "Mr. Klump" stuff

231
00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:08,687
'cause I've been hearing that
for the last year or so,
and I'm starting to feel old.

232
00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:11,957
I ain't an old man.
You is an old man.

233
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,025
(EXCLAIMS)

234
00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:14,193
Shit, Grandma,
what's wrong with you?

235
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:16,962
If it isn't
the Alzheimer’s Express
right on schedule!

236
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,999
Stop that! Hi, Mama.
ERNIE: She drove
right on my bunion.

237
00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:22,334
Y’all have to excuse me
for being late.

238
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:25,037
If you weren't my
grandmother, boy. . .
If you weren't my grandmother!

239
00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:28,108
Me and Isaac started getting
kind of frisky in the car.

240
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,348
Had to give him
a little appetizer.

241
00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:35,581
MAMA: Mama.
I just lost my damn appetite.

242
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:37,650
Mama, your dress is undone.
Let me zip you up.

243
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,518
Hurry. Zip her up
in the back
before she starts looking

244
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,720
like one of them Zulu hags
on the cover
of National Geographic.

245
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,056
MAMA: Cletus, what's wrong
with you? That's my mother
you talkin' about.

246
00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:45,891
Like that movie, Shaka Zulu.

247
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:49,028
You know something, Cletus?
Come on. Come on right now!

248
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:52,031
I'm gonna tell you something.
I got a razor in this bag.

249
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:53,432
PAPA:
Oh, yeah, I'll tell you what.

250
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:55,668
That ain't even no bag
in your hand.
That's your titty.

251
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,737
Cletus! Oh, Jesus!

252
00:13:58,737 --> 00:14:00,906
She's an old bag
with old bag titties.

253
00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:03,309
MAMA:
Cletus, you out of your mind?

254
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:05,878
He called
your grandma's titty a bag.

255
00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:08,781
Death !
MAMA: Cletus Marcellus Klump.

256
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:11,784
PAPA: If it isn't the world's
oldest living Negro?

257
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,287
Hey, how are things
going on the
Underground Railroad, Isaac?

258
00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:18,224
Oh, Cletus, please,
be nice to Mr. Isaac.
Good evening, Mr. Isaac.

259
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:20,259
Come on and have a seat.

260
00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:22,361
Good evening, Mr. Isaac.
How you doing tonight?

261
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:23,529
PAPA: Isaac know I'm playing.

262
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,598
I play with Isaac
all the time.
You know I'm messing with you.

263
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:28,033
Oh, yeah, you say
what you wanna say,

264
00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:30,569
but Isaac's still
like a Brahma bull

265
00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:32,838
when it comes
to relations, right, baby?

266
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:35,507
You know what they say?
You're as young as you feel.

267
00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:37,576
Well, I must be 197.

268
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:39,845
Klump, funny you
should say that.

269
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:41,647
Denise and I have been doing
some research on aging,

270
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:43,315
which has proven
to be promising.

271
00:14:43,315 --> 00:14:44,383
(ERNIE JR. BELCHING)

272
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:45,818
MAMA: Baby,
don't belch in public.

273
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:47,419
Grandma don't wanna hear
a Ii that nastiness.

274
00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:48,754
He bringing the bass, huh?

275
00:14:48,754 --> 00:14:50,990
You plan to eat,
you gonna be belching,
cover your mouth.

276
00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:53,993
Hey, look, your grandpa ate
a whole plate of beans,

277
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:55,995
you don't see me doing
the ol' butt trumpet, do you?

278
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:57,162
Thank the Lord.

279
00:14:57,162 --> 00:14:58,564
MAMA: We don't have to hear
all that nasty imagery.

280
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,633
Butts and trumpets.

281
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,035
I'm gonna tell my
grandson what I wanna say.

282
00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:05,174
Hey, can we get
some toothpick?

283
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:07,573
Some toothpick!

284
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,108
If I wanna put
a trumpet in my ass

285
00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:10,976
and run around
this restaurant and blow,

286
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:12,912
"Hallelujah, Yankee Doodle,"
that's my business!

287
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:16,382
All I'm hearing
is trumpets and asses.
I don't wanna hear that.

288
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:18,550
Hey!
You watch it now.

289
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:21,086
You reach over here again,
you gonna pull back a nub.

290
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,255
Oh, Cletus, she's fiery.
I like that.

291
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,491
Tell me,
don't touch the chicken.
Don't be hitting on people.

292
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,526
I don't be getting hit on,
Sherman, you know that.

293
00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:30,562
Better eat up, Isaac,
'cause you gonna need
your strength.

294
00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:33,132
Yeah, later on,
me and Isaac gonna watch

295
00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:35,134
Mating Season
on the Serengeti.

296
00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:38,203
Don't take a lot
to get Isaac going.

297
00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:40,973
Time out! Let me call
a time out on that.
Lord, my, my.

298
00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:42,508
I don't wanna hear about
you old-ass geriatrics.

299
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:47,146
Oh, yeah, Cletus?
Me and Isaac might be
dried-up geriatrics,

300
00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:51,183
but ain't nothing wrong
with Isaac's love tackle.

301
00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:54,163
MAMA: Mama.
Oh, snap now.

302
00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:56,956
GRANNY:
What's the matter, Cletus,
cat got your tongue?

303
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,324
Step on a nerve, Cletus?

304
00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:01,126
I get you. Got you,
got you. Got ya!

305
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:03,562
These potatoes sure are
scrumptious, aren't they?

306
00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:04,663
Ain't that a kick in the head.

307
00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:06,465
Yes, they're scrumptious,
aren't they?

308
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:10,669
Potato, my ass.
Ain't that a kick in the head?

309
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:13,238
What that piece of spaghetti
remind you of?

310
00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:15,308
Oh, Grandma, now,
come on.

311
00:16:15,607 --> 00:16:17,643
That's enough now.
Sure enough.

312
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:21,148
Maybe Mr. Johnson, perhaps?

313
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:23,715
Oh, Lord have mercy.

314
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:25,951
Let me tell you, old woman.

315
00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:28,821
What I do in my bedroom
is my business.
You understand?

316
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,023
Only thing you do
in your bedroom

317
00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:33,058
is pull the lint
off your scrotum.

318
00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:35,394
ERNIE: Now it's getting thick.

319
00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:36,962
See? That's the last straw.

320
00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:38,941
(ALL TALKING)

321
00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:41,734
I think I'm gonna
propose a toast.

322
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,302
Let's make a toast.

323
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:46,205
To Daddy.
ERNIE: Hear! Hear!

324
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:48,374
After 35 years of hard work in
the construction business. . .

325
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,009
ERNIE: Thirty-five years!

326
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,710
. . . Daddy's gonna final
get a chance to relax.

327
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:52,845
PAPA: Finally gonna
get to relax.

328
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,413
This is true.
Damn right.

329
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:57,583
And I'd like to say
in front of everybody
here tonight. . .

330
00:16:57,583 --> 00:17:01,496
When you gonna stop jiving
and tell everybody
you got laid off?

331
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,229
MAMA: Oh, my God.
DENISE: He's choking.

332
00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:05,958
(GASPING)

333
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:08,594
ERNIE: Hey, somebody put
the "Hemlock" on him?
MAMA: Put your arm up!

334
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,396
The "Hemlock move."

335
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:13,069
Give me a knife and straw.
I'm gonna give him
a tracheotomy.

336
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,367
I seen them do it on E.R.

337
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,202
(FARTING)

338
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:19,814
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

339
00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:30,323
It's all right, folks.
Everything's under control.

340
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:35,120
Cletus. No, Cletus.
Where you going?
Sherman ! Cletus!

341
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,361
ERNIE: Dad, where you going?
Daddy!

342
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:40,826
Now you see
what you did, Joe College?

343
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,999
You done messed up
the whole party.

344
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:04,516
Jason, I just know
I'm not the one saying
all those awful things.

345
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:07,186
It was him.
JASON: You may be right,
Professor.

346
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:09,393
Take a look at this reading.

347
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:13,225
Right there.

348
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:16,638
Recombining with the gene
that governs
testosterone production.

349
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:20,942
Buddy Love.

350
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,242
I told you.
That's Buddy Love.

351
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:28,407
Don't panic. All right.
We should be able
to get rid of him.

352
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:29,775
According to
Denise's theories,

353
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,477
we should be able
to isolate that gene
and extract it.

354
00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:32,878
No, no way.

355
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:35,347
Professor, what you're talking
about is extremely dangerous.

356
00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:37,583
Those traces of Buddy
must've been in your system
this whole time.

357
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:39,051
You've been able
to keep them under control.

358
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:40,996
Not anymore. He's back now.

359
00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:43,755
He's coming back
'cause he knows I'm happy

360
00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:45,090
and he wanna
ruin everything.

361
00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:47,759
Yeah, but he is not a he.
He is a gene.

362
00:18:47,759 --> 00:18:50,535
He's just part of you.
Oh, no, he's not.

363
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,699
Am I interrupting?

364
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:56,768
(STAMMERING)
Oh, not at all.

365
00:18:56,768 --> 00:18:59,605
We were just doing some
last-minute tests on Buster.

366
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:00,879
Yeah.

367
00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:04,544
Sherman, can I talk to you
in private for just a second?

368
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,956
Sherman, I got
a call today,

369
00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:13,986
and, well, I've been offered
a full professorship

370
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,821
at the University of Maine.

371
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,665
University of Maine?
But, Denise,
that's in Maine.

372
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:21,398
Yeah.

373
00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:29,002
Well, that's a
fine department
over there in Maine.

374
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,337
It is gonna be a

375
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:35,140
tremendous loss
to Wellman, though.

376
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:37,809
Well, I haven't decided
to leave just yet.

377
00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:38,911
You haven't?

378
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,720
Well, no, I mean. . .

379
00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:44,449
There's something
very important to me here,

380
00:19:44,449 --> 00:19:47,686
and I'm not so sure
I can just leave it behind.

381
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:51,890
Well, Denise,
you can finish the research
we started on your own.

382
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:55,303
Sherman, I'm not talking
about research.

383
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:57,429
Really?

384
00:19:57,429 --> 00:19:59,568
Sherman, you're very
special to me.

385
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:07,410
Oh, well, I didn't

386
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,745
think you
and I would ever. . .

387
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:12,844
Because of. . .

388
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:14,813
How can I put it?

389
00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:16,314
Because I'm. . .
Big.

390
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:20,655
Yeah. I was gonna say fat,
but, yeah.

391
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,595
Big is better, yep.

392
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,532
Sherman, that doesn't
matter to me.

393
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:29,928
What matters
to me is that

394
00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:33,170
you're kind and decent.

395
00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:39,081
You are the most
brilliant man
I've ever known.

396
00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:45,978
Speaking of which,
I shouldn't keep you
from your research,

397
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,146
so, I'll talk to you later.

398
00:20:48,146 --> 00:20:50,182
Okay, I'll see you soon.

399
00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:57,866
My goodness.

400
00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:17,847
(BUDDY LAUGHING EVILLY)

401
00:21:20,912 --> 00:21:23,392
Professor? You okay?

402
00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:30,499
Yeah. I just don't wanna
hurt her, Jason.

403
00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:33,327
Then you won't.

404
00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:38,263
Hey, you can control Buddy.

405
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:45,538
You know, it's funny how
you get used to certain things
in life, you know?

406
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:49,547
You get used
to being overweight.
I know I did.

407
00:21:50,676 --> 00:21:53,315
You even get used to people
making fun of you.

408
00:21:55,614 --> 00:21:58,924
Somewhere along the line,
I got used to being alone.

409
00:22:01,453 --> 00:22:04,195
And I just don't wanna
be alone anymore.

410
00:22:51,636 --> 00:22:54,378
Denise! Denise!

411
00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:57,843
Oh, Sherman,
the flowers are beautiful.

412
00:22:57,843 --> 00:22:58,977
But what are you
doing down there?

413
00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:00,946
Please, come inside.
Just a minute.

414
00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:03,483
Let me do something first.
Come here, guys.

415
00:23:13,091 --> 00:23:15,627
Denise, I just wanna say that

416
00:23:15,627 --> 00:23:18,330
working alongside you
this past year,

417
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:21,133
getting to know you
and be close to you,

418
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:23,635
it's been the most
wonderful time of my life.

419
00:23:23,635 --> 00:23:27,105
ALL: (SINGING) The most
wonderful time of his life

420
00:23:28,707 --> 00:23:30,550
How lovely.

421
00:23:31,676 --> 00:23:34,746
I'd just like to say that
it doesn't matter if you wanna

422
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:37,616
take that other job
or if you wanna stay here.

423
00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:40,596
What matters to me most
is that you're happy.

424
00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:44,022
Denise, I have something
that I wanna ask you.

425
00:23:44,022 --> 00:23:46,832
He wants to ask you

426
00:23:49,561 --> 00:23:52,200
Denise. . . Denise Gaines. . .

427
00:23:52,464 --> 00:23:54,966
Yes, Sherman?
Denise, will you. . .

428
00:23:54,966 --> 00:23:56,911
Well, ask her!

429
00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:01,740
Denise, will you. . .
BUDDY: Hey, Sherman.
You hear me, Sherman?

430
00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:04,276
Denise, will you. . .
Will you

431
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:06,978
let me come up there
and put my beef in your taco?

432
00:24:06,978 --> 00:24:09,414
Put the beef in your taco

433
00:24:09,414 --> 00:24:10,515
What?

434
00:24:10,515 --> 00:24:11,583
(BUDDY LAUGHING EVILLY)

435
00:24:11,583 --> 00:24:12,951
Oh, no, no, no, no!

436
00:24:12,951 --> 00:24:15,220
That's not what
I meant to say, Denise.
That was a little joke.

437
00:24:15,220 --> 00:24:16,455
A little joke.

438
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:19,424
I wanted to see
if you wanted to go out
and get Mexican food.

439
00:24:19,424 --> 00:24:20,859
That's why I said that.

440
00:24:20,859 --> 00:24:23,528
Well, I am kind of hungry,
but I'm. . .
Yeah, you are, huh?

441
00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:26,898
I bet you could stand for
a big ol' Whopper right now.

442
00:24:26,898 --> 00:24:29,868
A big ol' Whopper right now

443
00:24:29,868 --> 00:24:31,336
You're sick!

444
00:24:31,336 --> 00:24:33,939
I got to tell you,
I'm a Jumbo Jack
man myself.

445
00:24:33,939 --> 00:24:36,141
Yeah, and I'm loaded
with secret sauce.

446
00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:38,314
Yeah ! Come on !

447
00:24:41,112 --> 00:24:43,648
Back that thang up! Yeah !

448
00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:46,355
Come on ! Come on ! Yeah !

449
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:48,620
Yeah !

450
00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:51,123
Come on ! Make it funky!

451
00:24:52,958 --> 00:24:54,300
(SHERMAN EXCLAIMS)

452
00:24:54,726 --> 00:24:56,068
(MUSICIANS EXCLAIM)

453
00:24:56,361 --> 00:24:58,966
You're gonna ruin
my lawn, you pervert!

454
00:25:02,467 --> 00:25:04,674
Put on the good ass!

455
00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:06,905
Sherman, I don't know
what's gotten into you,

456
00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:09,442
but I don't like it
at all !

457
00:25:09,841 --> 00:25:12,777
BUDDY: Way to go, Sherman!
Oh, my goodness!

458
00:25:12,777 --> 00:25:14,012
BUDDY: You haven't seen
the last of me, Sherman!

459
00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:17,118
Oh, my goodness, what'd I do?

460
00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:19,518
Denise! Denise!

461
00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:22,754
BUDDY:
I’m gonna pee on myself.
I’m gonna pee in your pants!

462
00:25:22,754 --> 00:25:24,392
(BUDDY LAUGHING EVILLY)

463
00:26:11,703 --> 00:26:14,706
Okay, Buddy,
it's time for you to go.

464
00:26:20,712 --> 00:26:22,156
(EXCLAIMING)

465
00:26:27,886 --> 00:26:29,330
(SHOUTING)

466
00:26:55,914 --> 00:26:57,552
That's sexy.

467
00:27:01,419 --> 00:27:03,193
(SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

468
00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:09,027
Hey, what you
playing that for?

469
00:27:09,027 --> 00:27:10,829
I thought it'd be soothing.

470
00:27:10,829 --> 00:27:14,174
It'd be soothing
if you turned that shit off
so I can sleep.

471
00:27:14,432 --> 00:27:16,568
Oh, Cletus, you haven't
even looked at me.

472
00:27:16,568 --> 00:27:18,269
I know what you look like.

473
00:27:18,269 --> 00:27:21,573
We married for 44 years.
I look at you every day,
all day long.

474
00:27:21,573 --> 00:27:23,041
I know just what
you look like.

475
00:27:23,041 --> 00:27:25,248
Cletus, please, look at me!

476
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:27,687
Damn. Now here we go.

477
00:27:31,116 --> 00:27:34,285
You got a show tonight?
What you got that on for?

478
00:27:34,285 --> 00:27:36,621
Well, if you don't know
after 44 years of marriage,

479
00:27:36,621 --> 00:27:37,856
I don't know
what to say to you.

480
00:27:37,856 --> 00:27:40,025
You should say good night

481
00:27:40,025 --> 00:27:43,061
and take that damn rag
off that lamp before
we burn something down.

482
00:27:43,061 --> 00:27:44,403
Hell.

483
00:27:46,698 --> 00:27:47,904
There!

484
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:53,376
What about Viagra?

485
00:27:56,274 --> 00:27:59,550
Viagra don't work for me.
I've been taking
them like M&M's.

486
00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:03,214
Look, Cletus,
maybe it's psychosomatic.

487
00:28:03,214 --> 00:28:07,018
I seen on Oprah once
that this happen to men
after they get fired.

488
00:28:07,018 --> 00:28:09,254
I mean, retired.
You know, sometimes
you lose your self-esteem.

489
00:28:09,254 --> 00:28:11,322
Lose self-esteem?
I ain't lost no self-esteem.

490
00:28:11,322 --> 00:28:12,791
You're always
yapping about it.

491
00:28:12,791 --> 00:28:14,225
You won't never let up!
Forget it!

492
00:28:14,225 --> 00:28:17,328
You're like a broken record.
Every time I turn around,
"Cletus, how you feeling now?

493
00:28:17,328 --> 00:28:19,064
"You got the groove now?"
Every time I walk
in the room. . .

494
00:28:19,064 --> 00:28:20,231
I don't even
wanna hear it.

495
00:28:20,231 --> 00:28:21,733
. . .you shake your ass,
trying to get me stimulated.

496
00:28:21,733 --> 00:28:24,135
Go to sleep, please.
Let it happen naturally.

497
00:28:24,135 --> 00:28:26,342
Never mind, Cletus!
Never mind !

498
00:28:28,339 --> 00:28:30,275
I mean, I'm sorry
to yell and scream,

499
00:28:30,275 --> 00:28:31,910
but you got too much
pressure on me!

500
00:28:31,910 --> 00:28:34,481
You want tenderness?
Ease up on the pressure.

501
00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:36,748
Too much pressure for me.

502
00:28:36,748 --> 00:28:41,253
GRANNY: Slow it down, Isaac.
No, no, baby, I'm over here.

503
00:28:41,586 --> 00:28:43,088
Now, there they go.

504
00:28:43,088 --> 00:28:44,999
GRANNY: Now, you're fine now.

505
00:28:45,256 --> 00:28:47,092
Isaac, you're a champion.

506
00:28:47,092 --> 00:28:48,159
That's your
old-ass mother.

507
00:28:48,159 --> 00:28:50,095
My mama
has a healthy libido.

508
00:28:50,095 --> 00:28:51,429
PAPA: Gotta slow it down !

509
00:28:51,429 --> 00:28:53,031
I ain't taking nobody to
the emergency room tonight!

510
00:28:53,031 --> 00:28:56,034
Somebody break their leg,
gonna stay broke this time!

511
00:28:56,034 --> 00:28:59,413
GRANNY: Isaac! Bingo. Pokeno.

512
00:29:00,672 --> 00:29:04,676
Professor? Professor? Hey.

513
00:29:04,676 --> 00:29:07,545
Professor? Hey, Professor!

514
00:29:07,545 --> 00:29:08,989
Wake up.

515
00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:12,027
Oh, Jason.
My God, what happened?

516
00:29:17,021 --> 00:29:19,758
Buddy. I had to get
rid of Buddy.
What?

517
00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:21,134
He had to go.

518
00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:24,796
You could've killed yourself.
I mean, who knows?

519
00:29:24,796 --> 00:29:26,998
This could affect
your coordination,
your neurological system.

520
00:29:26,998 --> 00:29:28,600
It could even affect
your intelligence.

521
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:32,003
We don't even know
if this is gonna work.

522
00:29:32,003 --> 00:29:33,982
Only one way to find out.

523
00:30:04,969 --> 00:30:06,504
Okay, Sherman,
what is this about?

524
00:30:06,504 --> 00:30:08,574
Denise. I'm so glad
you came.

525
00:30:08,940 --> 00:30:10,141
You know,
I almost didn't come.

526
00:30:10,141 --> 00:30:12,110
Wei I, I'm awful
glad you did.

527
00:30:12,110 --> 00:30:14,779
Listen to me, Denise.
Listen.

528
00:30:14,779 --> 00:30:16,948
You know, fireflies,
when they're searching
for a mate,

529
00:30:16,948 --> 00:30:20,518
the way they find
one another is they
emit a pheromone,

530
00:30:20,518 --> 00:30:23,087
and I've synthesized it
into a spray form.

531
00:30:23,087 --> 00:30:26,659
Wait a minute.
You brought me out here
for an experiment?

532
00:30:27,125 --> 00:30:29,394
Denise, wait, please!
Just hear me out!
Please, don't leave.

533
00:30:29,394 --> 00:30:32,238
Sherman, why did you act
that way the other night?

534
00:30:32,864 --> 00:30:34,343
Well, Denise,

535
00:30:37,202 --> 00:30:38,636
when I found out
that you might be leaving,

536
00:30:38,636 --> 00:30:41,072
it just got me
all messed up inside.

537
00:30:41,072 --> 00:30:44,175
I said some things
I really didn't mean at all.

538
00:30:44,175 --> 00:30:46,411
It was like there was
another person inside me

539
00:30:46,411 --> 00:30:48,580
who didn't appreciate
how wonderful you are to me

540
00:30:48,580 --> 00:30:49,914
and how special you are to me.

541
00:30:49,914 --> 00:30:53,451
And. . . But that side of me
is gone now.

542
00:30:53,451 --> 00:30:55,220
I got rid
of that person forever.

543
00:30:55,220 --> 00:30:56,454
You'll never see
that ugly face again.

544
00:30:56,454 --> 00:30:58,489
I just want you
to know that for sure.

545
00:30:58,489 --> 00:31:00,058
That's why I wanted
you to come out here tonight.

546
00:31:00,058 --> 00:31:02,094
Just bear with me, please.

547
00:31:19,944 --> 00:31:22,720
Hope my little friends
might be able to

548
00:31:23,281 --> 00:31:25,590
say it better than me.

549
00:31:33,324 --> 00:31:36,430
Yes, Sherman Klump, I will.

550
00:31:37,595 --> 00:31:39,597
Will you really? Really?
Really.

551
00:31:39,597 --> 00:31:41,599
Yes. I will. I really will.
You will?

552
00:31:41,599 --> 00:31:43,768
Yeah ! Yeah !

553
00:31:43,768 --> 00:31:45,338
(LAUGHING)

554
00:31:49,607 --> 00:31:51,677
Yeah, yeah, yeah !

555
00:31:55,780 --> 00:31:59,550
Come on, Buster.
Time to go home.
That's right. That's right.

556
00:31:59,550 --> 00:32:00,885
Time to go home.

557
00:32:00,885 --> 00:32:03,688
Now wait. Sit. Good boy.

558
00:32:03,688 --> 00:32:06,634
Wait for Uncle "J." Stud.

559
00:32:56,741 --> 00:32:58,185
JASON: Buster!

560
00:33:01,346 --> 00:33:04,656
Hey, Buster,
where'd you go, boy?
Here's a good boy.

561
00:33:13,491 --> 00:33:14,892
(EXCLAIMS)

562
00:33:14,892 --> 00:33:17,095
Sherman, Sherman, Sherman !

563
00:33:17,095 --> 00:33:19,897
My baby's finally getting
married, married, married !

564
00:33:19,897 --> 00:33:21,099
Oh, Sherman !

565
00:33:21,099 --> 00:33:24,944
GRANNY: I'm so happy
for you, Sherman.
You're finally gonna get some.

566
00:33:26,070 --> 00:33:28,607
(TELL ME
SOMETHING GOOD PLAYING)

567
00:33:35,913 --> 00:33:37,357
(EXCLAIMING)

568
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:52,230
Come on now,
dance with me, girl.
You look fantastic.

569
00:33:52,230 --> 00:33:53,598
(BOTH LAUGHING)

570
00:33:53,598 --> 00:33:55,767
If you two can stop
getting all jiggy with it,

571
00:33:55,767 --> 00:33:57,502
perhaps I can give you
something to really cerebrate.

572
00:33:57,502 --> 00:33:59,137
Oh, yes, sir.
Yes, Dean, what's that?

573
00:33:59,137 --> 00:34:00,271
Oh, nothing much.

574
00:34:00,271 --> 00:34:02,173
A letter from
Phleer Pharmaceuticals,

575
00:34:02,173 --> 00:34:03,474
Largest drug company
in the world.

576
00:34:03,474 --> 00:34:04,842
I told them about your
little discovery,

577
00:34:04,842 --> 00:34:07,145
and they made
a preemptive offer.

578
00:34:07,145 --> 00:34:09,488
Not too shabby, eh?

579
00:34:11,616 --> 00:34:13,720
A hundred
and 50 million dollars!

580
00:34:13,918 --> 00:34:15,486
Oh, my God, Sherman !

581
00:34:15,486 --> 00:34:17,522
A hundred
and 50 million dollars!

582
00:34:17,522 --> 00:34:19,390
Oh, my goodness.
Isn't that wonderful?

583
00:34:19,390 --> 00:34:21,059
Now, remember, that money
belongs to Wellman.

584
00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:23,995
All you have to do is
prove to Phleer
the formula works

585
00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:26,764
at the press
conference I set up.
Yeah ! Of course.

586
00:34:26,764 --> 00:34:29,506
$150 million. . . My mind's all
scribble-scrabble.

587
00:34:34,005 --> 00:34:36,941
MAMA: Oh, Mama, I can't wait
to see what she looks like
in my old wedding dress.

588
00:34:36,941 --> 00:34:39,785
I can't wait to see, Mama.
She gonna. . .

589
00:34:40,344 --> 00:34:41,914
(MAMA EXCLAIMS)

590
00:34:42,213 --> 00:34:43,692
(MAMA CLAPPING)

591
00:34:45,116 --> 00:34:49,020
Oh, seeing you in that dress
take me right back
to the time I got married.

592
00:34:49,020 --> 00:34:50,421
It's beautiful.

593
00:34:50,421 --> 00:34:52,156
Oh, you look wonderful.
Show Mama what you look like.

594
00:34:52,156 --> 00:34:55,359
Mama, look at this.
Oh, you look so lovely.

595
00:34:55,359 --> 00:34:57,395
Oh, be careful now.

596
00:34:57,395 --> 00:34:59,530
She looks fabulous in it,
don't she, Mama? Look at her.

597
00:34:59,530 --> 00:35:04,068
Denise, you still remember
what I told you
about marital relations?

598
00:35:04,068 --> 00:35:05,979
Oh, Mama. Denise, look.

599
00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:09,474
Try this pie.
I made it with Snickers.
Now, don't be shy.

600
00:35:09,474 --> 00:35:11,976
GRANNY: Come on,
let me hear it.
Oh, that's pretty.

601
00:35:11,976 --> 00:35:15,446
Okay, if you get bored
with your man,

602
00:35:15,446 --> 00:35:18,516
it's perfectly okay
to picture someone else's
head on his body.

603
00:35:18,516 --> 00:35:20,518
GRANNY: Right.
You got a little waist, girl.

604
00:35:20,518 --> 00:35:24,589
That's right. That gentleman,
Stone Phillips, on NBC.

605
00:35:24,589 --> 00:35:28,092
You know, Granny,
I really don't think
I need to do that.

606
00:35:28,092 --> 00:35:30,061
GRANNY: Isaac, you don't need
to hear this.

607
00:35:30,061 --> 00:35:32,268
It's private. It's private!

608
00:35:32,497 --> 00:35:34,832
We gonna talk
girl talk now, baby.

609
00:35:34,832 --> 00:35:38,603
From time to time,
I have fantasies about
Stone Phillips from NBC.

610
00:35:38,603 --> 00:35:42,540
Mama. Mama, quiet.
It's true. It's the same
dream all the time.

611
00:35:42,540 --> 00:35:45,743
I'm in a tobacco barn.
Stone Phillips
is my coworker,

612
00:35:45,743 --> 00:35:47,979
and he don't never have
on no shirt in the dream,

613
00:35:47,979 --> 00:35:50,314
and I don't never have
on no pants.

614
00:35:50,314 --> 00:35:52,083
It's the nougat
that makes it chewy.

615
00:35:52,083 --> 00:35:53,618
And I stand
on this ladder,

616
00:35:53,618 --> 00:35:56,721
Stone Phillips
get a little peek of heaven
I got up my skirt.

617
00:35:56,721 --> 00:36:00,958
I invite him up the ladder,
he come up the ladder
and throw me on the tobacco.

618
00:36:00,958 --> 00:36:04,562
And we start going at it
like two mice.

619
00:36:04,562 --> 00:36:07,932
Stone, Stone, Stone.

620
00:36:07,932 --> 00:36:10,639
Oh, I think
that's a wonderful fit.

621
00:36:12,236 --> 00:36:13,612
I do, too.

622
00:36:15,306 --> 00:36:17,708
Oh, you're so sweet.

623
00:36:17,708 --> 00:36:20,484
Sherman and Denise!
Sherman and Denise!

624
00:36:20,645 --> 00:36:25,252
Marriage, marriage,
marriage, marriage, marriage.
They gonna get married, Mama.

625
00:36:25,950 --> 00:36:28,152
MAMA: I'm so happy.
Welcome back.

626
00:36:28,152 --> 00:36:30,723
MAMA: Marriage, marriage,
marriage, marriage.

627
00:36:31,489 --> 00:36:33,925
WOMAN: (SINGING)
Nutty, nutty, nutty
my love for you

628
00:36:33,925 --> 00:36:36,194
I can't believe
my dreams come true

629
00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:38,496
I've finally found somebody
whose heart is true

630
00:36:38,496 --> 00:36:41,232
And best of all
you're nutty, nutty,
nutty for me

631
00:36:41,232 --> 00:36:44,302
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa

632
00:36:44,302 --> 00:36:47,805
MAN: Well, well, well,
we've seen quite a bit
of each other today.

633
00:36:47,805 --> 00:36:50,979
Now strip down
to your shorts.
Right.

634
00:36:52,610 --> 00:36:54,145
I suppose you thought
I was gonna object

635
00:36:54,145 --> 00:36:55,746
to a strip search,
didn't you, Chief?

636
00:36:55,746 --> 00:36:58,249
BUDDY:
Keep your clothes on, please.
Don't nobody wanna see that!

637
00:36:58,249 --> 00:37:00,285
(BUDDY LAUGHING)

638
00:37:01,953 --> 00:37:05,022
Here's my wallet.
Why don't you check
for yourself?

639
00:37:05,022 --> 00:37:07,758
Yeah, hold that
stomach in, Robert!

640
00:37:07,758 --> 00:37:09,100
(LAUGHING)

641
00:37:09,427 --> 00:37:12,196
What's his problem?
I don't know,
but enough is enough.

642
00:37:12,196 --> 00:37:13,698
Excuse me, sir.

643
00:37:13,698 --> 00:37:16,133
Young man,
will you please keep it down

644
00:37:16,133 --> 00:37:18,436
just a little bit
'cause we're trying to watch.

645
00:37:18,436 --> 00:37:21,815
Just when you thought
it was safe to go back
to the theaters.

646
00:37:25,343 --> 00:37:27,288
Hello, fat ass!

647
00:37:29,013 --> 00:37:31,749
Maybe we should get going.
I don't feel too good
all of a sudden. Let's go.

648
00:37:31,749 --> 00:37:33,484
Come on, let's go
somewhere else.
Sherman, who was that?

649
00:37:33,484 --> 00:37:34,819
I don't know.
I didn't get
a good look at him.

650
00:37:34,819 --> 00:37:36,764
Sherman ! Sherman Klump!

651
00:37:37,521 --> 00:37:40,825
You still been hitting
them Happy Meals.
You haven't changed an inch.

652
00:37:40,825 --> 00:37:42,660
You remember me. Buddy Love.

653
00:37:42,660 --> 00:37:44,996
We used to both chase
that girl, Carla,
at the same time.

654
00:37:44,996 --> 00:37:46,770
You ever hit that?

655
00:37:46,897 --> 00:37:49,066
Miss Purty and I
were just friends.

656
00:37:49,066 --> 00:37:50,868
"Just friends."
I guess that means
you didn't hit it, huh?

657
00:37:50,868 --> 00:37:52,370
Who's your new friend?
She sure is fine.

658
00:37:52,370 --> 00:37:54,372
Yes, fine.
What's your name?

659
00:37:54,505 --> 00:37:57,341
Sherman, suddenly
I don't feel so well.
Can we leave, please?

660
00:37:57,341 --> 00:37:58,476
Yes, let's go, please.

661
00:37:58,476 --> 00:37:59,877
Can I talk to Sherman
for one second?
Then you can have him.

662
00:37:59,877 --> 00:38:01,746
One second, please.
I gotta talk to you.

663
00:38:01,746 --> 00:38:03,381
We gonna have
a little boy talk.
Excuse us.

664
00:38:03,381 --> 00:38:05,516
Sherman, how you doing, baby?
What do you want here?

665
00:38:05,516 --> 00:38:08,719
A little respect.
You left me all by myself
in that test tube

666
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,088
without a card or a letter,
and now I want a divorce.

667
00:38:11,088 --> 00:38:14,364
And this is a community
property state,
so I want my share.

668
00:38:14,959 --> 00:38:17,336
Want your share of what?

669
00:38:17,862 --> 00:38:19,563
The youth formula
we invented !

670
00:38:19,563 --> 00:38:22,633
You mean, the youth formula
that I invented.
Oh, no way, Buddy, no way.

671
00:38:22,633 --> 00:38:23,734
Who you grounding,
fat boy?

672
00:38:23,734 --> 00:38:25,569
You grounding me?
I haven't grounded. . .

673
00:38:25,569 --> 00:38:26,804
I was hoping
we could do this
like gentlemen.

674
00:38:26,804 --> 00:38:28,005
Come on, Sherman.

675
00:38:28,005 --> 00:38:30,374
You're gonna make me
do something nasty
to you, Sherman.

676
00:38:30,374 --> 00:38:31,709
I'll do something nasty.

677
00:38:31,709 --> 00:38:33,411
Sherman !

678
00:38:33,411 --> 00:38:35,413
See you soon, Sherman !

679
00:38:35,413 --> 00:38:39,827
Sherman !

680
00:38:42,486 --> 00:38:44,898
What the hell
are you looking at?

681
00:38:46,090 --> 00:38:48,292
Oh, thank you, Sherman.

682
00:38:48,292 --> 00:38:51,204
What else did I
get from Sherman?
What does this say?

683
00:38:51,729 --> 00:38:56,167
"Phleer Pharmaceuticals."
$150. . . $150 million.

684
00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:57,873
(EXCLAIMING)

685
00:38:58,602 --> 00:39:00,775
I think Buddy's
going shopping.

686
00:39:12,750 --> 00:39:15,986
Professor, I got here
as fast as I could.

687
00:39:15,986 --> 00:39:17,822
I've got to hide this formula
before Buddy gets to it.

688
00:39:17,822 --> 00:39:19,290
Good idea.

689
00:39:19,290 --> 00:39:22,059
I found something
I think you should look at.

690
00:39:22,059 --> 00:39:24,295
When I left here
last night,
everything was fine.

691
00:39:24,295 --> 00:39:26,564
I mean, this was not here.

692
00:39:26,564 --> 00:39:29,133
Good Lord.
Buddy must've recombined

693
00:39:29,133 --> 00:39:30,968
from the genomic sequence
I extracted.

694
00:39:30,968 --> 00:39:32,770
This doesn't make any sense.

695
00:39:32,770 --> 00:39:34,238
He's just a fragment
of genetic information.

696
00:39:34,238 --> 00:39:37,007
He's nothing
without a strand of DNA
to graft himself onto.

697
00:39:37,007 --> 00:39:38,816
Where did he get it?

698
00:39:42,780 --> 00:39:44,589
Just a second here.

699
00:39:46,684 --> 00:39:47,958
Buster!

700
00:39:57,128 --> 00:39:58,504
Thank you so much.

701
00:39:58,829 --> 00:40:01,365
Leanne Guilford.
President of Acquisitions.

702
00:40:01,365 --> 00:40:03,845
Buddy Love,
president of Love Industries.

703
00:40:04,935 --> 00:40:07,037
Allergies?
No. Do you have a dog?

704
00:40:07,037 --> 00:40:08,777
Yes, I do. A Yorkie.

705
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:12,050
She's driving me
crazy right now.
Bitch.

706
00:40:13,744 --> 00:40:15,479
Excuse me.
It's a female dog
that you have,

707
00:40:15,479 --> 00:40:18,516
and she's in heat, right?
Yes. How did you
know that?

708
00:40:18,516 --> 00:40:19,617
Let's just say
I have a sixth sense

709
00:40:19,617 --> 00:40:20,718
about those things.
Is this her?

710
00:40:20,718 --> 00:40:23,425
Yeah, little Courtney.
Nasty.

711
00:40:24,588 --> 00:40:26,424
Mr. Love, maybe we'd better
do this another time.

712
00:40:26,424 --> 00:40:28,959
No, this is the perfect time.
Let's do this right now.

713
00:40:28,959 --> 00:40:32,496
This is the perfect time
to talk about
my youth formula.

714
00:40:32,496 --> 00:40:35,433
We are already committed
to purchasing
Professor Klump's formula.

715
00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:37,735
Professor Klump's formula?
That's if it works.

716
00:40:37,735 --> 00:40:40,171
Let's just that although
he's a brilliant scientist,

717
00:40:40,171 --> 00:40:42,873
at times, he can be unstable.

718
00:40:42,873 --> 00:40:45,444
Yes.
Interesting.

719
00:40:45,576 --> 00:40:48,345
Yes, now, my formula works
and can be yours for the price

720
00:40:48,345 --> 00:40:51,621
of $149 million,
if you act now, pretty lady.

721
00:40:52,349 --> 00:40:54,218
Forgive me for being blunt,

722
00:40:54,218 --> 00:40:56,554
but you don't expect me
to just take your word
for it, do you?

723
00:40:56,554 --> 00:40:57,621
Oh, no, not at all.
Just say when,

724
00:40:57,621 --> 00:41:00,260
and I'll make it
available to you.

725
00:41:00,491 --> 00:41:02,860
All right. If Klump
can't deliver and you

726
00:41:02,860 --> 00:41:04,595
can prove
your formula’s better. . .
Yes?

727
00:41:04,595 --> 00:41:06,363
. . . Phleer would have to
seriously consider it.

728
00:41:06,363 --> 00:41:08,232
Is that right?
I've got to go to a meeting.

729
00:41:08,232 --> 00:41:10,801
Can we reschedule for later?
We certainly can.

730
00:41:10,801 --> 00:41:13,637
Good. How about
Wednesday, 7:00?

731
00:41:13,637 --> 00:41:15,272
Perfect. Wednesday at 7:00.

732
00:41:15,272 --> 00:41:17,843
Bring the formula.
Yes.

733
00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:23,047
Excuse me.
Where's your restroom?
Down the hall, to the left.

734
00:41:23,047 --> 00:41:25,857
Thank you.
You finished with this?
Sure.

735
00:41:29,420 --> 00:41:30,762
(SNIFFING)

736
00:41:49,006 --> 00:41:51,281
What the hell you looking at?

737
00:42:02,119 --> 00:42:05,589
MAN: Good God !
What "good God"?
I went on the paper!

738
00:42:12,863 --> 00:42:15,699
Genetic anomalies can occur

739
00:42:15,699 --> 00:42:18,577
in any living
organism through. . .

740
00:42:19,603 --> 00:42:21,343
Come on now, people.

741
00:42:21,872 --> 00:42:23,578
Spontaneous mutation.

742
00:42:24,041 --> 00:42:27,711
Now what is it
that our genetic codes
can determine about us?

743
00:42:27,711 --> 00:42:29,121
Miss Tate?

744
00:42:29,780 --> 00:42:31,282
They can determine

745
00:42:31,282 --> 00:42:34,485
whether you have blue eyes
or pouty lips or a cute butt.

746
00:42:34,485 --> 00:42:36,587
Stuff like that.

747
00:42:36,587 --> 00:42:38,756
Right, right, precisely.
Very good.

748
00:42:38,756 --> 00:42:42,159
But what about random
nucleotide polymorphisms,
Professor?

749
00:42:42,159 --> 00:42:43,360
Excellent question.

750
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,840
Random nucleotide
polymorphisms.

751
00:42:46,764 --> 00:42:49,642
Random nucleotide
polymorphisms. . .

752
00:42:52,636 --> 00:42:54,706
Random nucleotide. . .

753
00:43:02,646 --> 00:43:04,386
I ain't got a clue.

754
00:43:08,252 --> 00:43:09,662
(SHERMAN SHOUTING)

755
00:43:10,888 --> 00:43:13,991
JASON: Who knows? This could
affect your coordination,
your neurological system.

756
00:43:13,991 --> 00:43:16,193
I mean it could even affect
your intelligence.

757
00:43:16,193 --> 00:43:19,096
What was I talking about?
Genetic anomalies.

758
00:43:19,096 --> 00:43:21,701
Yes, genetic anomalies.
As I was saying. . .

759
00:43:35,946 --> 00:43:39,017
Think you're
pretty smart, huh, Molly?

760
00:43:40,718 --> 00:43:42,052
Not gonna beat me again.

761
00:43:42,052 --> 00:44:00,677
(GROANS)

762
00:44:01,305 --> 00:44:03,340
That makes five times
in a row now.

763
00:44:03,340 --> 00:44:04,575
(DOOR OPENING)

764
00:44:04,575 --> 00:44:06,877
Hey. Can I talk to you
for a second?

765
00:44:06,877 --> 00:44:09,584
Jason, yes, please, come in.

766
00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:14,051
Look, I know you think
you're feeling fine,

767
00:44:14,051 --> 00:44:16,220
but I ran some more
tests anyway.

768
00:44:16,220 --> 00:44:18,589
Really?
Yeah. When you
extracted Buddy,

769
00:44:18,589 --> 00:44:20,357
somehow it altered
the gene that regulates

770
00:44:20,357 --> 00:44:24,094
neurotransmitter activity
to the cerebral cortex.

771
00:44:24,094 --> 00:44:27,164
Jason, all these big words
are really perplexing to me.

772
00:44:27,164 --> 00:44:29,303
Can you talk in plain English?

773
00:44:30,868 --> 00:44:33,371
You're losing
your intelligence, sir.

774
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,614
Yeah. Yeah, I know.

775
00:44:41,979 --> 00:44:44,715
I know. I can feel it.

776
00:44:44,715 --> 00:44:48,018
I can't even beat Molly,
and she's the dumbest
hamster we got.

777
00:44:48,018 --> 00:44:50,657
Jason, my presentation's
in two days.

778
00:44:51,355 --> 00:44:53,300
Now what am I gonna do?

779
00:45:06,336 --> 00:45:09,681
SHERMAN:
Oh, my goodness. Buddy.

780
00:45:21,051 --> 00:45:23,155
Oh, thank God.

781
00:45:35,899 --> 00:45:37,334
PAPA: Hey, how's it going
there, Sherman?

782
00:45:37,334 --> 00:45:39,236
Yeah, Daddy, you startled me.

783
00:45:39,236 --> 00:45:42,080
What's that
you got there, son?
The youth juice.

784
00:45:42,539 --> 00:45:45,809
My formula. I was wondering
if I could keep it here
for safekeeping.

785
00:45:45,809 --> 00:45:46,910
Oh, yeah,
leave it in the refrigerator.

786
00:45:46,910 --> 00:45:48,812
Ain't nobody gonna bother it.

787
00:45:48,812 --> 00:45:51,949
You all right?
You look a little strained.
What's going on?

788
00:45:51,949 --> 00:45:55,452
Well, Daddy, you know,
I kind of got
a lot on my mind.

789
00:45:55,452 --> 00:45:58,655
Really, I do. I guess
I've been a little worried
about my presentation and all.

790
00:45:58,655 --> 00:45:59,990
Worried about
your presentation?

791
00:45:59,990 --> 00:46:01,525
You ain't got nothing
to be worried about.

792
00:46:01,525 --> 00:46:03,127
We gonna be watching
you on TV,

793
00:46:03,127 --> 00:46:04,962
supporting you,
and you should be proud.
We proud.

794
00:46:04,962 --> 00:46:06,130
I know I'm proud.

795
00:46:06,130 --> 00:46:07,464
I tell you that.
You ain't got nothing
to be worried. . .

796
00:46:07,464 --> 00:46:10,434
You're gonna be doing
just great.

797
00:46:10,434 --> 00:46:12,836
I didn't hit you that hard.
Don't act like a little bitch.

798
00:46:12,836 --> 00:46:14,004
By the way, Sherman,

799
00:46:14,004 --> 00:46:17,815
how many people can say
that they raised a genius?

800
00:46:18,642 --> 00:46:19,745
I can.

801
00:46:25,482 --> 00:46:28,656
Worried about
his presentation?
That's a good one there.

802
00:46:34,992 --> 00:46:38,095
Is this supposed
to be that hard?
Yeah, let it set a while.

803
00:46:38,095 --> 00:46:40,564
Don't worry
if it burns a little bit.
That's natural.

804
00:46:40,564 --> 00:46:43,200
All right,
you the expert, Chantal.
Work your magic, girl,

805
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,202
'cause Denise's mother
is coming to
this bachelorette party,

806
00:46:45,202 --> 00:46:47,805
and if she's as stunning
as Denise,
I got to be sparkling.

807
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:50,240
Honey, you gonna
blind their asses.

808
00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:53,710
When you walk in that door,
they gonna think
you're Tyra Banks.

809
00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:56,580
Oh, did I tell you the news?

810
00:46:56,580 --> 00:46:58,515
Leon got one of them
penis pumps.

811
00:46:58,515 --> 00:47:01,618
Penis pumps?
What'd he do with it?

812
00:47:01,618 --> 00:47:05,055
Supposed to pump it up
or something.
Does it work?

813
00:47:05,055 --> 00:47:06,356
Just on the tip.

814
00:47:06,356 --> 00:47:09,462
Now that thing look
like a portabello mushroom.

815
00:47:10,561 --> 00:47:12,329
Isaac all natural.

816
00:47:12,329 --> 00:47:15,400
Soon as I walk
in the room, ten-hut.

817
00:47:16,567 --> 00:47:20,270
GRANNY: You know,
I'm thinking about having
a little work done myself.

818
00:47:20,270 --> 00:47:22,606
The other day,
I got out the shower,

819
00:47:22,606 --> 00:47:24,908
and I bent down
to reach for a towel,

820
00:47:24,908 --> 00:47:27,581
and I felt a sharp pain
in my chest.

821
00:47:27,711 --> 00:47:31,882
Shot through my chest
and up around my back,
down my spine.

822
00:47:31,882 --> 00:47:36,019
I thought, "Oh, Lord."
I thought I was dying.
I bent over and looked,

823
00:47:36,019 --> 00:47:38,658
and I was standing
on my own titty.

824
00:47:40,624 --> 00:47:43,126
You ain't have to get
no breast reduction.
Just be more careful.

825
00:47:43,126 --> 00:47:45,105
Both feet, too.
Both feet on it.

826
00:47:50,067 --> 00:47:53,047
All right, what the hell
you old hens cackling about?

827
00:47:53,170 --> 00:47:54,338
You ready to go?

828
00:47:54,338 --> 00:47:56,039
No, not quite.
I'll be ready in a minute.

829
00:47:56,039 --> 00:48:00,043
She still got to set up
a few more minutes.
Have some more wine, girl.

830
00:48:00,043 --> 00:48:02,112
Girl, I don't know
if I should.
I already had two glasses.

831
00:48:02,112 --> 00:48:05,092
Oh, go on, live a little.
Make your hair look better.

832
00:48:07,417 --> 00:48:09,920
Have mercy.
PAPA: Yeah,
just like I figured.

833
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:13,223
You sit up here all day,
getting sloshed
and talking about us men.

834
00:48:13,223 --> 00:48:16,493
Cletus, have you ever heard
the expression, "mercy hump"?

835
00:48:16,493 --> 00:48:17,661
Say what?

836
00:48:17,661 --> 00:48:20,797
'Cause that's what
you been getting
all these years, mercy humps.

837
00:48:20,797 --> 00:48:22,165
Stop it.

838
00:48:22,165 --> 00:48:23,867
You out your goddamn mind.
Let me tell you something.

839
00:48:23,867 --> 00:48:26,574
He ain't got nothing
but a limp doodle.

840
00:48:28,171 --> 00:48:29,172
(EXCLAIMS)

841
00:48:29,439 --> 00:48:30,747
CHANTAL: Sorry.

842
00:48:31,608 --> 00:48:33,644
Gotta get you.
MAMA: Cletus!

843
00:48:33,644 --> 00:48:35,214
Look what you've done!

844
00:48:36,813 --> 00:48:38,682
You girls are crazy.
I'm leaving.

845
00:48:38,682 --> 00:48:40,484
I don't believe it.
Oh, Cletus,
Cletus, wait!

846
00:48:40,484 --> 00:48:42,352
Cletus! Oh, Cletus!

847
00:48:42,352 --> 00:48:45,522
Cletus, I only told her
'cause she got so much
experience in sexual matters.

848
00:48:45,522 --> 00:48:48,859
I ain't nothing but a big
damn joke to you, ain't I?
Tell the whole world !

849
00:48:48,859 --> 00:48:52,195
My husband ain't nothing
but a big old pile
of worthless crap!

850
00:48:52,195 --> 00:48:54,641
Cletus! Cletus!

851
00:49:00,237 --> 00:49:03,273
I'm just glad
they're back in town
so you can finally meet them.

852
00:49:03,273 --> 00:49:06,410
I'm extremely nervous
because I really want
to make a good impression.

853
00:49:06,410 --> 00:49:08,211
Sherman, there's no
reason for you to be nervous.

854
00:49:08,211 --> 00:49:12,056
My parents are very
down-to-earth people,
and they're gonna love you.

855
00:49:12,382 --> 00:49:14,651
I guess it's not like
they're rocket scientists.

856
00:49:14,651 --> 00:49:16,425
Well, actuality, they are.

857
00:49:17,154 --> 00:49:19,429
Daddy!
Sweetheart!

858
00:49:19,589 --> 00:49:20,724
Great to see you.

859
00:49:20,724 --> 00:49:23,966
You must be Sherman,
the genius who's marrying
my daughter.

860
00:49:25,128 --> 00:49:26,663
I guess that's me.

861
00:49:31,835 --> 00:49:34,577
They think I'm old.
They think
I'm worn-out, huh?

862
00:49:34,838 --> 00:49:36,647
I'm gonna show all of them.

863
00:49:38,442 --> 00:49:41,388
Screw the golden years.
And here's to youth !

864
00:49:47,985 --> 00:49:49,361
(GROANING)

865
00:49:51,254 --> 00:49:53,358
That's some nasty mess.

866
00:49:56,693 --> 00:49:57,794
I don't feel no. . .

867
00:49:57,794 --> 00:49:59,466
(CHOKING)

868
00:50:02,933 --> 00:50:04,309
(COUGHING)

869
00:50:17,948 --> 00:50:19,950
Damn, that was some
nasty stuff!

870
00:50:21,551 --> 00:50:25,255
I feel as strange as hell.
Hey, get your ass. . .

871
00:50:25,255 --> 00:50:27,701
Who the hell are you?
Who you put. . .

872
00:50:35,165 --> 00:50:37,167
It worked. It worked !

873
00:50:37,167 --> 00:50:39,102
(PAPA'S GOT
A BRAND-NEW BAG PLAYING)

874
00:50:39,102 --> 00:50:41,445
MAN: (SINGING)
Papa's got a brand-new bag

875
00:50:45,275 --> 00:50:46,719
(CHATTERING)

876
00:50:55,852 --> 00:50:57,194
(GIRL CHATTERING)

877
00:51:00,223 --> 00:51:02,168
Oh, what a beautiful bird.

878
00:51:02,826 --> 00:51:05,395
Crackers has been
in our family
more than 50 years.

879
00:51:05,395 --> 00:51:08,165
50 years.
He's older than I am.

880
00:51:08,165 --> 00:51:10,934
Sherman, your fly. Your fly.

881
00:51:10,934 --> 00:51:12,969
Yeah, he can fly all over.

882
00:51:12,969 --> 00:51:14,671
No, no, no, zip your pants.

883
00:51:14,671 --> 00:51:16,807
Oh, my goodness.

884
00:51:16,807 --> 00:51:19,344
Excuse me. I felt. . .
I felt a little breeze.

885
00:51:20,844 --> 00:51:24,047
So, genomic extractions.

886
00:51:24,047 --> 00:51:25,549
Fascinating.

887
00:51:25,549 --> 00:51:27,584
But the whole concept
of removing faulty genes

888
00:51:27,584 --> 00:51:29,859
must have you in
an ethical quandary.

889
00:51:31,054 --> 00:51:32,756
Excuse me. Ethical?

890
00:51:32,756 --> 00:51:34,958
Oh, yes, I don't know
much about "Ethicals,"

891
00:51:34,958 --> 00:51:36,126
to be perfectly
honest with you.

892
00:51:36,126 --> 00:51:38,995
But the "Quandary". . .
I don't like
the Japanese cars.

893
00:51:38,995 --> 00:51:40,130
I don't like
the Ethical Quandary.

894
00:51:40,130 --> 00:51:43,133
I'm a Volvo man myself.
Well, yeah.

895
00:51:52,542 --> 00:51:56,012
Sherman is known
as the leading expert
in genomic extractions.

896
00:51:56,012 --> 00:51:58,582
Give us a little preview
of the speech

897
00:51:58,582 --> 00:52:01,153
you're going to make
at the press conference.

898
00:52:04,354 --> 00:52:05,889
Say what now?

899
00:52:05,889 --> 00:52:07,891
I know we would never
be able to keep up,

900
00:52:07,891 --> 00:52:11,294
but is there some way
that you could explain it
in layman terms?

901
00:52:11,294 --> 00:52:14,164
Oh, you'd like me
to explain to you?

902
00:52:14,164 --> 00:52:16,733
Yes.
Well, I would love to.
I would be honored.

903
00:52:16,733 --> 00:52:20,070
It's really quite simple.
This corn, for instance. . .

904
00:52:20,070 --> 00:52:23,676
This piece of corn here can
represent a strand of DNA.

905
00:52:24,541 --> 00:52:25,775
And these little,

906
00:52:25,775 --> 00:52:29,212
the individual,
the bumpy things that go. . .

907
00:52:29,212 --> 00:52:30,914
The Green Giant
calls them "niblets." Niblets.

908
00:52:30,914 --> 00:52:32,749
These niblets
represent each gene,

909
00:52:32,749 --> 00:52:34,284
and they determine
everything about you.

910
00:52:34,284 --> 00:52:35,585
For instance, Mrs. Gaines,

911
00:52:35,585 --> 00:52:38,588
let's say if a person
was to have big titties,
like you.

912
00:52:38,588 --> 00:52:40,657
DENISE: Sherman !
I'm sorry. Big titties.

913
00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:42,092
No, breasts. Scratch it.

914
00:52:42,092 --> 00:52:43,293
Get off you. On me.

915
00:52:43,293 --> 00:52:45,966
Now, I have a big ass.
Never mind that.

916
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:51,968
What we're attempting
to do here

917
00:52:51,968 --> 00:52:55,238
is to extract
the bad, bad genes.

918
00:52:55,238 --> 00:52:56,506
Extract that titty out.

919
00:52:56,506 --> 00:52:57,774
And ass comes out.

920
00:52:57,774 --> 00:53:01,983
And just leave the good genes,
which is very simple
if you think about it.

921
00:53:04,848 --> 00:53:08,285
Just ignore that.
Please ignore those.
Those are the bad genes.

922
00:53:08,285 --> 00:53:10,754
What I'm really
trying to do is go deep,

923
00:53:10,754 --> 00:53:12,522
deep down
into the gene structure,

924
00:53:12,522 --> 00:53:15,332
which oftentimes
is much more difficult.

925
00:53:17,460 --> 00:53:18,695
(CRACKERS SQUAWKING)

926
00:53:18,695 --> 00:53:20,463
Crackers!

927
00:53:20,463 --> 00:53:22,408
Oh, goodness!

928
00:53:25,702 --> 00:53:28,405
I'm. . . I'm so,
so sorry about that.

929
00:53:28,405 --> 00:53:31,875
My pants got caught
in the thing
and they pulled it on out.

930
00:53:31,875 --> 00:53:34,912
His wings is twitching
a little bit,
so he's all right.

931
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:38,581
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

932
00:53:38,982 --> 00:53:41,218
Buddy Love.
Mr. Love. Leanne Guilford.

933
00:53:41,218 --> 00:53:42,385
Yes, Miss Guilford.
How are you?

934
00:53:42,385 --> 00:53:43,887
You forgotten
we have an appointment
right now?

935
00:53:43,887 --> 00:53:45,322
I had a hard time
getting a cab.

936
00:53:45,322 --> 00:53:46,690
I'm on my way.

937
00:53:46,690 --> 00:53:48,558
I'll wait
for a few more minutes
and then I'm leaving.

938
00:53:48,558 --> 00:53:50,469
Very good. I'll see you soon.

939
00:53:50,694 --> 00:53:52,162
All right.

940
00:53:52,162 --> 00:53:53,368
Yes!

941
00:53:54,598 --> 00:53:55,699
(BUDDY EXCLAIMS)

942
00:53:55,699 --> 00:53:56,800
BUDDY: This is great!

943
00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:00,110
Sir, please don't do that.
It's kind of dangerous.

944
00:54:00,604 --> 00:54:02,481
You work her! Work her!

945
00:54:03,173 --> 00:54:04,617
(BUDDY BARKING)

946
00:54:06,276 --> 00:54:07,550
Dynamite!

947
00:54:08,278 --> 00:54:10,223
Yeah !

948
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:13,820
Hey, let me have
a seven and seven.
Coming up.

949
00:54:16,119 --> 00:54:19,055
You about
the finest-looking thing
I seen in a long time.

950
00:54:19,055 --> 00:54:22,492
Well, thank you very much.
You pretty damn foxy
yourself, baby.

951
00:54:22,492 --> 00:54:25,028
A lot of young men
are intimidated
by an older woman.

952
00:54:25,028 --> 00:54:26,096
Is that right?

953
00:54:26,096 --> 00:54:27,230
Well, let me
tell you something.

954
00:54:27,230 --> 00:54:28,665
You look pretty
damn young to me.

955
00:54:28,665 --> 00:54:30,133
In fact, let me
tell you something, baby.

956
00:54:30,133 --> 00:54:32,579
You just about the. . .
You. . .

957
00:54:35,438 --> 00:54:36,539
Yeah, you look good.

958
00:54:36,539 --> 00:54:38,848
Pretty fine.
Foxy fine and young.

959
00:54:39,609 --> 00:54:40,777
Excuse me one second.

960
00:54:40,777 --> 00:54:41,911
Yes, yes, yes.

961
00:54:41,911 --> 00:54:43,146
Get away from my woman.

962
00:54:43,146 --> 00:54:45,382
Mind your own
business, Willie.

963
00:54:45,382 --> 00:54:46,483
What?

964
00:54:46,483 --> 00:54:48,818
It's over between us.
He just won't accept it.

965
00:54:48,818 --> 00:54:50,320
Willie, she said
it's over between y'all.

966
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:51,554
Besides, you getting
the wrong idea.

967
00:54:51,554 --> 00:54:52,989
Outside.
Say what?

968
00:54:52,989 --> 00:54:55,959
Outside. I'm tired
of this shit.
Who you pushing?

969
00:54:55,959 --> 00:54:57,294
Not again, Willie.

970
00:54:57,294 --> 00:54:58,595
Willie, what's wrong with you?

971
00:54:58,595 --> 00:54:59,896
PAPA: All right,
enough is enough !

972
00:54:59,896 --> 00:55:01,331
This is going too damn far!

973
00:55:01,331 --> 00:55:03,466
You gonna make me
have to put
my foot in your ass.

974
00:55:03,466 --> 00:55:04,768
I'm gonna tell you
straight up.

975
00:55:04,768 --> 00:55:06,403
I don't wanna
have to hurt you, Pops!

976
00:55:06,403 --> 00:55:08,780
Pops? I'll "pop" your ass.

977
00:55:08,938 --> 00:55:11,308
Would you please
put your clothes back on?

978
00:55:11,308 --> 00:55:14,220
You'll hurt yourself.
You look like a roast chicken.

979
00:55:15,578 --> 00:55:17,489
That was a lucky shot.

980
00:55:20,717 --> 00:55:21,818
Okay, that's it.

981
00:55:21,818 --> 00:55:24,560
Come on, fool.
Get your ass up. Come on.

982
00:55:24,954 --> 00:55:26,433
You're crazy.

983
00:55:29,492 --> 00:55:30,593
What the hell is this?

984
00:55:30,593 --> 00:55:33,129
Am I supposed to believe
that you know bujitsu?

985
00:55:33,129 --> 00:55:34,801
Sayonara, sucker.

986
00:55:42,872 --> 00:55:44,248
All right.

987
00:55:45,141 --> 00:55:46,910
Meter reads 3.90. Here's 4.00.

988
00:55:46,910 --> 00:55:48,778
Keep the dime.
Jerk.

989
00:55:48,778 --> 00:55:50,113
The lovely Miss Guilford.

990
00:55:50,113 --> 00:55:51,981
Where you on your way to?
Home.

991
00:55:51,981 --> 00:55:54,084
Home? What do you mean?
We got business to talk.

992
00:55:54,084 --> 00:55:56,052
All you seem to be is talk.

993
00:55:56,052 --> 00:55:58,455
I'm starting to think
you don't even have a formula.

994
00:55:58,455 --> 00:56:00,156
Oh. . .
We're gonna stick with Klump.

995
00:56:00,156 --> 00:56:01,324
Stick with Klump?

996
00:56:01,324 --> 00:56:02,459
I just got off the phone

997
00:56:02,459 --> 00:56:03,727
with my research people
in Langley, Virginia.

998
00:56:03,727 --> 00:56:05,028
They're working out
all the minor kinks.

999
00:56:05,028 --> 00:56:06,596
We gonna have a formula
any moment now.

1000
00:56:06,596 --> 00:56:08,905
Hey! Klump's formula sucks!

1001
00:56:14,971 --> 00:56:16,706
All right, little man.

1002
00:56:16,706 --> 00:56:18,617
I've been real patient.

1003
00:56:19,275 --> 00:56:21,414
I told you I'd mess you up.

1004
00:56:26,282 --> 00:56:27,283
(SCREAMS)

1005
00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:31,354
Oh, you scared now, huh?

1006
00:56:31,354 --> 00:56:34,699
Bring your little
butt back here.
I'm tired of your. . .

1007
00:56:37,127 --> 00:56:38,264
Damn.

1008
00:56:40,029 --> 00:56:42,168
He done loosen my tooth, too.

1009
00:56:47,570 --> 00:56:50,407
So that's where
Sherman's been hiding it.

1010
00:56:50,407 --> 00:56:52,944
Klumpville. Chunkytown.

1011
00:56:53,209 --> 00:56:54,688
Big-ass City.

1012
00:57:05,555 --> 00:57:07,924
Cletus. Cletus.
Lord have mercy.

1013
00:57:07,924 --> 00:57:10,026
Where have you been
all evening?
I've been so worried.

1014
00:57:10,026 --> 00:57:13,329
Wait. Don't turn on the light.
Leave the light out.

1015
00:57:13,329 --> 00:57:15,899
Oh, Cletus, I'm so sorry
about what happened tonight.

1016
00:57:15,899 --> 00:57:17,605
Yeah, well, Anna,

1017
00:57:18,334 --> 00:57:20,643
you remember
when we first met?

1018
00:57:20,904 --> 00:57:23,740
Of course I remember.
Back at the state fair. Why?

1019
00:57:23,740 --> 00:57:25,675
Yeah, the state fair.

1020
00:57:25,675 --> 00:57:27,844
You was working
the cotton candy.

1021
00:57:27,844 --> 00:57:28,945
Standing looking
like an angel.

1022
00:57:28,945 --> 00:57:31,514
Had that pink sugar
swirling all around you.

1023
00:57:31,514 --> 00:57:34,460
I turned to my brother,
and I said three words,

1024
00:57:34,818 --> 00:57:36,353
"Might-y fine."

1025
00:57:40,056 --> 00:57:43,401
You must've ate
1 6 cotton candies
that night, Cletus.

1026
00:57:43,793 --> 00:57:46,162
Yeah, well, I was interested.

1027
00:57:46,162 --> 00:57:48,869
I was interested.
I was damn interested.

1028
00:57:51,901 --> 00:57:55,238
Close your eyes, Anna.
I got a little surprise
for you.

1029
00:57:55,238 --> 00:57:56,614
Oh, Cletus.

1030
00:57:58,908 --> 00:57:59,943
Oh !

1031
00:58:01,211 --> 00:58:03,413
Here I am. I'm ready,
and I'm waiting.

1032
00:58:03,413 --> 00:58:04,614
Oh, that some nasty stuff.

1033
00:58:04,614 --> 00:58:06,749
Okay, what you got for me?

1034
00:58:06,749 --> 00:58:09,519
It wouldn’t be a surprise
if I told you.

1035
00:58:09,519 --> 00:58:12,590
Oh, you always been
such a sexy devil.

1036
00:58:15,158 --> 00:58:17,137
Oh, Cletus, I'm on fire.

1037
00:58:17,460 --> 00:58:20,634
Oh, Cletus. Hurry, Cletus.

1038
00:58:21,364 --> 00:58:22,865
Hurry, Cletus.

1039
00:58:23,166 --> 00:58:25,201
Hurry, Cletus.
Hurry. Hurry, Cletus.

1040
00:58:25,201 --> 00:58:26,469
Yeah, yeah.

1041
00:58:26,469 --> 00:58:29,540
I've been waiting so long.
Cletus, I'm on fire.

1042
00:58:29,939 --> 00:58:31,207
I know you've been
waiting, baby.

1043
00:58:31,207 --> 00:58:32,642
Oh, Cletus,
this is so romantic.

1044
00:58:32,642 --> 00:58:34,377
Yeah, Cletus here now.

1045
00:58:34,377 --> 00:58:35,778
I'm on fire.

1046
00:58:35,778 --> 00:58:37,046
Anna Pearl, Anna Pearl.

1047
00:58:37,046 --> 00:58:39,492
Yeah, I'm gonna put
your fire out.

1048
00:58:42,652 --> 00:58:44,187
It's okay, baby.
It's okay.

1049
00:58:44,187 --> 00:58:47,023
Anna, it's me.
It's me. It's Cletus.
I'm just young again.

1050
00:58:47,023 --> 00:58:49,092
Oh, Lord, Cletus,
what have you
done to yourself?

1051
00:58:49,092 --> 00:58:51,528
I took some of Sherman's
youth juice,
and it's incredible.

1052
00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:53,871
I got enough
for both of us, too.

1053
00:58:53,997 --> 00:58:56,266
Damn. Don't worry about it.
I got some more in the garage.

1054
00:58:56,266 --> 00:58:59,202
I'm not taking that mess.
I don't want no magic formula.

1055
00:58:59,202 --> 00:59:01,271
What's wrong with you, woman?
Don't you wanna be young?

1056
00:59:01,271 --> 00:59:03,373
No, I don't wanna be young.

1057
00:59:03,373 --> 00:59:04,974
Cletus, we're supposed
to be who we are,

1058
00:59:04,974 --> 00:59:07,677
and I'm just fine
with who I am.

1059
00:59:07,677 --> 00:59:08,978
But, obviously,
what you're trying to say

1060
00:59:08,978 --> 00:59:10,513
is that you're just tired

1061
00:59:10,513 --> 00:59:12,849
of the fat, old woman
that you got married to.

1062
00:59:12,849 --> 00:59:14,717
Oh, no, Anna.
That's not what I'm saying.

1063
00:59:14,717 --> 00:59:16,085
That ain't what
I'm saying at all.

1064
00:59:16,085 --> 00:59:17,887
Downstairs.
Anna, please, no, baby.

1065
00:59:17,887 --> 00:59:20,458
I think you better
sleep downstairs.

1066
00:59:20,723 --> 00:59:24,534
But I was just. . .
Downstairs, Cletus.
I don't wanna hear it.

1067
00:59:26,629 --> 00:59:29,507
Oh, Cletus, I'm so
disappointed in you.

1068
00:59:34,370 --> 00:59:36,172
I just feel
so god-awful terrible

1069
00:59:36,172 --> 00:59:38,207
about what happened
to Crackers.

1070
00:59:38,207 --> 00:59:40,276
Imagine what your parents
must think about me.

1071
00:59:40,276 --> 00:59:42,679
Sherman, you were acting
really strange tonight.

1072
00:59:42,679 --> 00:59:45,281
Yeah, I know,
'cause I drank that wine,

1073
00:59:45,281 --> 00:59:47,784
and I had cold
medicine early on.

1074
00:59:47,784 --> 00:59:50,553
And mixing cold medicine
and wine that don't mix.

1075
00:59:50,553 --> 00:59:52,657
Well, cold medicine or not,

1076
00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:55,463
I'm really worried about you.

1077
00:59:55,692 --> 00:59:58,604
And I really think
you should get a checkup.

1078
00:59:59,696 --> 01:00:02,073
All right. I will.
Yeah, I will.

1079
01:00:02,398 --> 01:00:03,501
Okay.

1080
01:00:03,733 --> 01:00:06,069
Go home and get some rest,
and first thing
in the morning,

1081
01:00:06,069 --> 01:00:08,771
I'll make an appointment
to get a checkup.
Good.

1082
01:00:08,771 --> 01:00:10,907
See you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.

1083
01:00:10,907 --> 01:00:12,909
Sorry about Crackers.
I'm sorry.
Okay.

1084
01:00:12,909 --> 01:00:14,649
Okay?
Okay.

1085
01:00:22,385 --> 01:00:24,956
Pervert.
"Beef in your taco."

1086
01:00:28,524 --> 01:00:30,367
I’m a pony! I’m a pony!

1087
01:00:30,593 --> 01:00:31,694
Mommy, I’m scared.

1088
01:00:31,694 --> 01:00:34,333
MALE NARRATOR: Now back
to the midnight movie.

1089
01:00:38,134 --> 01:00:42,005
A huge asteroid, approximately
1 ,000 square miles in size,

1090
01:00:42,005 --> 01:00:44,849
is still on a collision course
with Earth.

1091
01:00:47,977 --> 01:00:50,446
Wellman College,
Professor Sherman Klump

1092
01:00:50,446 --> 01:00:53,082
is attempting to plant
a nuclear explosive device

1093
01:00:53,082 --> 01:00:55,051
deep within the asteroid core,

1094
01:00:55,051 --> 01:00:57,656
which, if effective,
will destroy it.

1095
01:01:01,724 --> 01:01:02,992
SHERMAN: Houston, come in.

1096
01:01:02,992 --> 01:01:05,128
This is Professor Klump
on the asteroid's surface.

1097
01:01:05,128 --> 01:01:08,164
MAN ON RADIO:
We read you, Professor.
What's your status?

1098
01:01:08,164 --> 01:01:10,733
We've done dug the hole
and planted the nukes.

1099
01:01:10,733 --> 01:01:13,503
Good. Then get back
in your shuttle
and get the hell out of there

1100
01:01:13,503 --> 01:01:14,947
so you can blow
that rock to bits.

1101
01:01:15,872 --> 01:01:18,241
Sherman, you've got 30 seconds
before that asteroid hits.

1102
01:01:18,241 --> 01:01:19,310
Better hurry.

1103
01:01:19,709 --> 01:01:21,911
The world's counting on it.

1104
01:01:21,911 --> 01:01:23,287
(SHERMAN SHOUTING)

1105
01:01:26,549 --> 01:01:27,750
1 5 seconds.

1106
01:01:27,750 --> 01:01:29,422
Sherman, start
the detonation sequence now.

1107
01:01:31,287 --> 01:01:33,756
Hello, Houston.
We got a big-ass problem.

1108
01:01:33,756 --> 01:01:35,758
DENISE: Sherman, you've got
to blow up the asteroid.

1109
01:01:35,758 --> 01:01:37,168
Press that button!

1110
01:01:37,927 --> 01:01:40,029
I can't reach it.

1111
01:01:40,029 --> 01:01:41,269
PAPA: Sherman.

1112
01:01:43,766 --> 01:01:45,540
Sherman, I am your father.

1113
01:01:45,768 --> 01:01:47,303
Search your feelings, Sherman.

1114
01:01:47,303 --> 01:01:50,406
There's a force
deep down inside you.

1115
01:01:50,406 --> 01:01:53,011
Use it.
Use your force, Sherman.

1116
01:01:54,043 --> 01:01:55,453
Of course.

1117
01:01:56,946 --> 01:01:58,322
(FARTING)

1118
01:01:59,749 --> 01:02:04,520
Yes. The force is strong
with you, my son. Goddamn.

1119
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:05,688
What the hell was that noise?

1120
01:02:05,688 --> 01:02:09,567
I think something crawled up
your force and died, Sherman.

1121
01:02:12,095 --> 01:02:14,598
(FARTING)

1122
01:02:15,598 --> 01:02:18,000
FEMALE VOICE ON PA:
Ten seconds to impact.

1123
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,202
My God.

1124
01:02:19,202 --> 01:02:21,237
He didn't plant
those charges
on the asteroid.

1125
01:02:21,237 --> 01:02:23,444
Then where did he
plant them?

1126
01:02:25,775 --> 01:02:27,143
Okay.

1127
01:02:27,143 --> 01:02:29,178
Good-bye, Mr. Asteroid.

1128
01:02:29,178 --> 01:02:30,446
(SHERMAN CHUCKLING)

1129
01:02:30,446 --> 01:02:33,756
This is gonna be good.
Yeah. Wait a minute.

1130
01:02:34,484 --> 01:02:37,021
Did I land on the wrong. . .
Oh, shit.

1131
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:46,433
Oh, no. I done blowed up
the wrong one.

1132
01:02:46,863 --> 01:02:47,964
Good-bye, Sherman.

1133
01:02:47,964 --> 01:02:51,234
Denise, please don't. . .
It was an accident. Denise. . .

1134
01:02:51,234 --> 01:02:54,537
I'm sure it'll just make
a little splash in the ocean.
That's all.

1135
01:02:54,537 --> 01:02:56,739
See, just a little, tiny. . .

1136
01:02:56,739 --> 01:02:59,185
Oh, that ain't tiny
at all, is it?

1137
01:03:07,216 --> 01:03:08,558
I am an idiot.

1138
01:03:12,088 --> 01:03:15,224
Oh, thank you, Granny,
so much. You are too sweet.

1139
01:03:15,224 --> 01:03:18,227
Yeah, that's a little
special present
for your wedding night.

1140
01:03:18,227 --> 01:03:20,663
Oh, fabulous.
Romantic and fabulous.

1141
01:03:20,663 --> 01:03:23,132
MAMA: Oh, Mama!

1142
01:03:23,132 --> 01:03:24,838
(ALL LAUGHING)

1143
01:03:25,234 --> 01:03:26,636
DENISE: Thank you, Granny.

1144
01:03:26,636 --> 01:03:29,839
Maybe something I wouldn’t
have chosen for myself.
Thank you.

1145
01:03:29,839 --> 01:03:33,109
Well, I didn't choose it
for you, baby.
I got it for Sherman.

1146
01:03:33,109 --> 01:03:36,679
He's gonna be the one
that's gonna appreciate
the hell out of it, trust me.

1147
01:03:36,679 --> 01:03:39,649
Girls, I gotta go check on
the rest of my surprise.

1148
01:03:39,649 --> 01:03:41,384
Y’all excuse me for a moment.

1149
01:03:41,384 --> 01:03:43,386
MAMA: Girls, I saw the most
fabulous game the other day.

1150
01:03:43,386 --> 01:03:45,855
It's called
Bachelorette Bingo.
Let's play.

1151
01:03:45,855 --> 01:03:48,301
Oh, this is so fabulous!

1152
01:03:48,491 --> 01:03:50,732
(MAMA LAUGHING)

1153
01:04:04,740 --> 01:04:06,150
(WOMEN CHATTERING)

1154
01:04:10,646 --> 01:04:12,782
This is Miss Ida Mae Jensen.

1155
01:04:12,782 --> 01:04:16,018
I'm calling to confirm
a male stripper fantasy,

1156
01:04:16,018 --> 01:04:19,328
the Muy Caliente
Vida Loca special.

1157
01:04:22,291 --> 01:04:23,565
(SNIFFING)

1158
01:04:28,331 --> 01:04:29,571
Goddamn.

1159
01:04:44,013 --> 01:04:48,518
Yeah, that's right.
Well, where they at?
We all ready here. No, no.

1160
01:04:49,685 --> 01:04:53,055
Oh, never mind.
I see him over here now.

1161
01:04:53,055 --> 01:04:56,035
Okay. Yes, we will enjoy.
Thank you.

1162
01:04:57,927 --> 01:05:03,308
Now, that's what I call
the Muy Caliente
El Negro special.

1163
01:05:26,789 --> 01:05:27,892
(CLEARS THROAT)
Hey.

1164
01:05:28,658 --> 01:05:30,626
Well, hello there,
stripper man.

1165
01:05:30,626 --> 01:05:32,561
Now, you know,
I ordered the special,

1166
01:05:32,561 --> 01:05:35,371
and you supposed to be
dressed as a fireman.

1167
01:05:35,798 --> 01:05:38,834
Stripper man?
Oh, stripper. . .
Oh, yes, stripper man.

1168
01:05:38,834 --> 01:05:41,537
Well, I decided not to do
my fireman dance tonight,

1169
01:05:41,537 --> 01:05:43,506
because last time I did it,
things got so heated up,

1170
01:05:43,506 --> 01:05:44,607
kind of scorched my suit.

1171
01:05:44,607 --> 01:05:46,575
So I decided to do
my cat burglar dance.

1172
01:05:46,575 --> 01:05:47,877
And I slip through
the back door

1173
01:05:47,877 --> 01:05:50,112
and I'm kind of poking around,
'cause I'm a method stripper

1174
01:05:50,112 --> 01:05:51,547
and I want to get
the right frame of mind

1175
01:05:51,547 --> 01:05:54,250
so I can give y’all
some good stripping.
You know, work it for you.

1176
01:05:54,250 --> 01:05:57,987
You know, you look just
like Ken Norton in Mandingo.

1177
01:05:57,987 --> 01:06:00,957
Oh, really? Oh, Ken Norton. . .
Oh, Mandingo.
Ken Norton. Really?

1178
01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:04,336
I guess this is the closest
I'm gonna ever get
to Ken Norton.

1179
01:06:04,493 --> 01:06:07,496
Well, thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you.

1180
01:06:07,997 --> 01:06:10,399
I wonder if you could
give me a little
private dance.

1181
01:06:10,399 --> 01:06:12,902
Oh, okay.
You want a private. . .
You wanna slow down?

1182
01:06:12,902 --> 01:06:14,737
Stop, stop, stop!

1183
01:06:14,737 --> 01:06:15,838
I'm gonna need
some space here.

1184
01:06:15,838 --> 01:06:17,406
You want a private dance.

1185
01:06:17,406 --> 01:06:19,909
Okay, I can do that.
But first I'm so thirsty.

1186
01:06:19,909 --> 01:06:22,945
I got a craving for some,
for some red fruit punch.

1187
01:06:22,945 --> 01:06:24,380
Red fruit punch?

1188
01:06:24,380 --> 01:06:26,082
I ain't seen none
in the house, boy.

1189
01:06:26,082 --> 01:06:29,051
But today I seen some out
in the Frigidaire,
out in the garage.

1190
01:06:29,051 --> 01:06:30,486
Oh, there may be
some in the garage?

1191
01:06:30,486 --> 01:06:31,620
Well, after I quench
my thirst,

1192
01:06:31,620 --> 01:06:33,255
I'm gonna come
give you a dance.

1193
01:06:33,255 --> 01:06:34,757
I'll be moving like this.

1194
01:06:34,757 --> 01:06:37,059
You like that, don't you?
Yeah, that's like Soul Train.

1195
01:06:37,059 --> 01:06:38,127
That's la vida loca.

1196
01:06:38,127 --> 01:06:40,896
Make this face here
like I'm tearing it up.

1197
01:06:40,896 --> 01:06:42,398
Oh, good Lord.
You like that?

1198
01:06:42,398 --> 01:06:44,100
Oh, my precious Lord.

1199
01:06:44,100 --> 01:06:45,167
Don't move now.

1200
01:06:45,167 --> 01:06:47,503
I ain't going nowhere.
I'll be right here
for the Soul Train.

1201
01:06:47,503 --> 01:06:48,771
I'll be right back.

1202
01:06:48,771 --> 01:06:51,945
For the Soul Train!

1203
01:06:52,074 --> 01:06:53,309
I'll be right back.

1204
01:06:53,309 --> 01:06:54,719
(DOORBELL RINGING)

1205
01:06:56,412 --> 01:06:58,481
Oh, my goodness,
is there a fire?

1206
01:06:58,481 --> 01:07:00,449
Yes, ma'am,
I'm afraid there is.

1207
01:07:00,449 --> 01:07:02,360
I don't smell no smoke.

1208
01:07:04,286 --> 01:07:05,554
(THONG SONG PLAYING)

1209
01:07:05,554 --> 01:07:09,325
There's a fire in my pants
and it's getting muy caliente!

1210
01:07:09,325 --> 01:07:11,761
Oh, Lord, have mercy!

1211
01:07:11,761 --> 01:07:13,763
A strip. . . Oh, my!

1212
01:07:15,431 --> 01:07:17,740
My mother
must've arranged this.

1213
01:07:19,735 --> 01:07:21,236
Where are you?

1214
01:07:21,704 --> 01:07:24,340
Oh, bingo. Bingo.

1215
01:07:24,340 --> 01:07:27,810
Chunky Butt, thank you so much
for making this easy.

1216
01:07:27,810 --> 01:07:29,545
I thought this
was gonna be difficult.

1217
01:07:29,545 --> 01:07:32,515
Chunky Butt made this
a nice, easy task for me.

1218
01:07:32,515 --> 01:07:34,790
Yes, yes, yes.

1219
01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:38,293
Perfect.

1220
01:07:38,754 --> 01:07:40,923
Now I gotta find something
to cut this with.

1221
01:07:40,923 --> 01:07:43,225
Maybe a little fertilizer
or something.

1222
01:07:43,225 --> 01:07:46,604
Oh, this is gonna be
perfect, Chunky Butt.

1223
01:07:46,729 --> 01:07:51,803
I think this will help
spruce up your
presentation quite a bit.

1224
01:07:55,871 --> 01:07:57,475
MAMA: Oh, Lord.

1225
01:07:57,606 --> 01:08:01,880
I didn't know
there was gonna be strippin'.

1226
01:08:03,045 --> 01:08:05,320
MAMA: Mama! Mama!

1227
01:08:16,725 --> 01:08:18,794
(LOVE IS A MANY-SPLENDORED
THING PLAYING)

1228
01:08:18,794 --> 01:08:22,665
MAN: (SINGING) Love

1229
01:08:22,665 --> 01:08:27,944
ls a many-splendored thing

1230
01:08:29,805 --> 01:08:33,042
It's the April rose

1231
01:08:33,042 --> 01:08:36,178
That only grows

1232
01:08:36,178 --> 01:08:39,989
Ln the early spring

1233
01:08:41,484 --> 01:08:44,820
Love is nature's way

1234
01:08:44,820 --> 01:08:48,057
Of giving

1235
01:08:48,057 --> 01:08:52,562
A reason to be living

1236
01:08:52,728 --> 01:08:55,598
The golden crown

1237
01:08:55,598 --> 01:08:58,134
That makes a man

1238
01:08:58,134 --> 01:08:59,874
A king

1239
01:09:01,070 --> 01:09:02,344
(ALL SCREAMING)

1240
01:09:03,272 --> 01:09:06,014
Oh, we gonna have
the whole room
smelling like ass.

1241
01:09:06,442 --> 01:09:07,977
Shake it, shake.

1242
01:09:07,977 --> 01:09:10,146
And it's like
I was never here.

1243
01:09:10,146 --> 01:09:11,283
(EXCLAIMS)

1244
01:09:12,781 --> 01:09:16,353
Hey! You scared me just now.
I thought you was a monster.

1245
01:09:16,785 --> 01:09:18,120
What are you. . .

1246
01:09:18,120 --> 01:09:19,388
Hey, what. . .

1247
01:09:19,388 --> 01:09:21,957
Stripper man, stripper man.

1248
01:09:21,957 --> 01:09:23,025
You're not supposed
to be out here.

1249
01:09:23,025 --> 01:09:25,561
This must be
your lucky night.

1250
01:09:25,561 --> 01:09:26,762
You're supposed
to be in the house.

1251
01:09:26,762 --> 01:09:30,368
I'm fitting to teach you
every trick I know.

1252
01:09:30,799 --> 01:09:34,769
I seen the way
you was ogling me inside.
No, no, no, no.

1253
01:09:35,237 --> 01:09:37,011
I'm ogling you, too.

1254
01:09:38,807 --> 01:09:40,786
(SHOUTING)

1255
01:09:44,713 --> 01:09:46,382
Oh, stripper man.

1256
01:09:46,382 --> 01:09:47,449
(YELLING)

1257
01:09:47,449 --> 01:09:49,451
Oh, I feel so vulnerable.

1258
01:09:50,052 --> 01:09:53,889
Come on.
Let's get it on right now,
right here, right now.

1259
01:09:53,889 --> 01:09:55,191
Oh, stripper.

1260
01:09:55,191 --> 01:09:56,659
Wait. Just calm. . .
Relax a second.

1261
01:09:56,659 --> 01:09:58,994
Now, listen.
We gonna get it on.
But not out here.

1262
01:09:58,994 --> 01:10:00,396
You don't wanna get it
on out here, do you,

1263
01:10:00,396 --> 01:10:01,830
in this nasty, stink garage?

1264
01:10:01,830 --> 01:10:02,932
Let's go in the house
in a warm bed

1265
01:10:02,932 --> 01:10:05,167
where I can give you
the shimmy.

1266
01:10:05,167 --> 01:10:07,303
I'll meet you
back in your room
in five minutes.

1267
01:10:07,303 --> 01:10:09,171
I ain't failing
for that trick.

1268
01:10:09,171 --> 01:10:10,406
I'm gonna get that knot
out your back.

1269
01:10:10,406 --> 01:10:14,820
You gonna have to give me
a little sugar right now,
or I'll scream.

1270
01:10:15,211 --> 01:10:18,147
No, no, don't scream.
Don't scream.

1271
01:10:18,147 --> 01:10:19,882
No, no, no.

1272
01:10:19,882 --> 01:10:22,718
Wait, wait, wait.
I'll give you a little kiss.
A little peck on the cheek.

1273
01:10:22,718 --> 01:10:25,588
Just to hold you over 'til
I meet you up in the room.
Ain't gonna hurt nobody.

1274
01:10:25,588 --> 01:10:27,156
You're so cute. Come here.

1275
01:10:27,156 --> 01:10:29,067
I want a little sugar.

1276
01:10:30,359 --> 01:10:31,599
Oh, God.

1277
01:10:34,063 --> 01:10:35,598
Oh, Ken Norton.

1278
01:10:36,298 --> 01:10:37,640
(BUDDY EXCLAIMING)

1279
01:10:42,972 --> 01:10:44,576
(VOMITING)

1280
01:10:52,448 --> 01:10:53,892
(CRYING)

1281
01:10:55,985 --> 01:10:58,554
MAN: Folks, we want
to get everybody
into the presentation,

1282
01:10:58,554 --> 01:11:00,556
so please have your
press credentials ready.

1283
01:11:15,271 --> 01:11:17,573
Well, if it isn't
ol' Chunky Butt.

1284
01:11:17,573 --> 01:11:19,408
Buddy, what are you
doing here?

1285
01:11:19,408 --> 01:11:20,943
I just came down
for your big presentation.

1286
01:11:20,943 --> 01:11:22,478
You're not nervous,
are you?

1287
01:11:22,478 --> 01:11:23,612
No, I ain't nervous.

1288
01:11:23,612 --> 01:11:25,381
"No, I ain't." "No, I ain't."
That's interesting.

1289
01:11:25,381 --> 01:11:27,149
Starting to sound
kind of ignorant.

1290
01:11:27,149 --> 01:11:29,251
But don't worry.
If this professor thing
don't work out,

1291
01:11:29,251 --> 01:11:32,321
there's always room
for another brother
down at the car wash.

1292
01:11:32,321 --> 01:11:33,922
They could put
a big beach towel
on your ass,

1293
01:11:33,922 --> 01:11:35,991
and you can stand
in the doorway
as the cars come out

1294
01:11:35,991 --> 01:11:37,726
and dry 'em
a side at a time.

1295
01:11:37,726 --> 01:11:39,461
That's your future.

1296
01:11:39,461 --> 01:11:42,097
Buddy, I notice
since the split-up

1297
01:11:42,097 --> 01:11:45,768
that I ain't really,
I haven't really felt
like myself.

1298
01:11:45,768 --> 01:11:47,836
I was wondering
if you've been experiencing
any changes.

1299
01:11:47,836 --> 01:11:49,938
Not at all. I feel great.
Never felt better in my life.

1300
01:11:49,938 --> 01:11:53,317
Business is really starting
to look up for me, Sherm.

1301
01:11:54,510 --> 01:11:56,345
Hey, you better run !

1302
01:11:56,345 --> 01:11:57,513
Come here!

1303
01:11:57,513 --> 01:11:59,648
Come here, pussy!
You're a pussy!
That's what you are.

1304
01:11:59,648 --> 01:12:01,283
I'll kill you !
I'll kill you !

1305
01:12:01,283 --> 01:12:02,352
Come here, you pussy!

1306
01:12:02,818 --> 01:12:04,520
Sherman coming on
in a minute.

1307
01:12:04,520 --> 01:12:07,890
Well, what channel’s
Sherman gonna come on?
Anybody know?

1308
01:12:07,890 --> 01:12:10,225
Have some
of these brownies.
They're still warm.

1309
01:12:10,225 --> 01:12:11,293
Don't drop 'em
on my floor now.

1310
01:12:11,293 --> 01:12:13,696
All right, everybody.
Sherman getting ready
to come on TV now.

1311
01:12:13,696 --> 01:12:14,963
Everybody gather around.

1312
01:12:14,963 --> 01:12:16,932
You know, fame
is gonna pass.

1313
01:12:16,932 --> 01:12:18,767
And the only thing
that's permanent is family.

1314
01:12:18,767 --> 01:12:19,902
Ain't that right, Daddy?

1315
01:12:19,902 --> 01:12:21,270
Oh, shit!
Get your ass out that chair!

1316
01:12:21,270 --> 01:12:23,939
How many times, Ernest,
I gotta tell you
to stay out my damn chair?

1317
01:12:23,939 --> 01:12:25,074
Man.

1318
01:12:25,074 --> 01:12:26,175
You work on them cars
all day gonna put

1319
01:12:26,175 --> 01:12:28,010
the grease all in my chair,
smear the grease there.

1320
01:12:28,010 --> 01:12:29,111
Gotta sit on this grease.

1321
01:12:29,111 --> 01:12:31,313
My gray pants still got
grease all over 'em
'cause of you.

1322
01:12:31,313 --> 01:12:33,782
You happy?
You got your chair. Enjoy.
Stay out my damn chair.

1323
01:12:33,782 --> 01:12:35,484
Ernest, will you please
tell your father to be quiet?

1324
01:12:35,484 --> 01:12:36,852
Sherman's coming on.

1325
01:12:36,852 --> 01:12:38,253
GRANNY: What channel
Sherman come on?

1326
01:12:38,253 --> 01:12:41,928
Tell me what she just said,
I'll come over there
and whup your ass.

1327
01:12:42,291 --> 01:12:43,792
GRANNY: That's the channel.

1328
01:12:43,792 --> 01:12:45,361
Watch the damn TV.

1329
01:12:45,361 --> 01:12:47,062
Thank you, ladies
and gentlemen for coming out.

1330
01:12:47,062 --> 01:12:48,997
My name is
Professor Sherman Klump.

1331
01:12:48,997 --> 01:12:51,739
I’m a professor here
at Wellman College.

1332
01:12:52,434 --> 01:12:53,640
Look at him.

1333
01:12:54,236 --> 01:12:55,337
Joe College.

1334
01:12:55,337 --> 01:12:57,106
Look how dashing he look.
He look just like Billy Dee.

1335
01:12:57,106 --> 01:12:58,374
Boy look handsome.

1336
01:12:58,374 --> 01:13:00,976
Billy Dee! Billy Dee!
Billy Dee! Billy Dee!

1337
01:13:00,976 --> 01:13:02,077
Billy Dee Klump.

1338
01:13:02,077 --> 01:13:03,419
As you all know,

1339
01:13:03,812 --> 01:13:07,983
Ponce de Leon
searched his entire life
for the Fountain of Youth.

1340
01:13:07,983 --> 01:13:10,819
And today we will
complete his journey.

1341
01:13:10,819 --> 01:13:14,596
So, ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to present
to you all,

1342
01:13:15,324 --> 01:13:18,270
the Wellman College
youth formula.

1343
01:13:19,695 --> 01:13:21,296
Maybe I need
to take some of that.

1344
01:13:21,296 --> 01:13:23,132
It don't cure ugly.

1345
01:13:23,132 --> 01:13:24,633
Does Cletus know I'm strapped?

1346
01:13:24,633 --> 01:13:26,835
Well, come on. Shoot.
I'm strapped, nigga.

1347
01:13:26,835 --> 01:13:28,504
Come on. Shoot.
Tell him. I'm strapped.

1348
01:13:28,504 --> 01:13:30,239
And if you miss,
I'm gonna finish you off.

1349
01:13:30,239 --> 01:13:32,808
If you don't have
anything nice to say,
don't say nothing at all.

1350
01:13:32,808 --> 01:13:35,444
Well, she messing with me.
Stop the violence.
Stop the violence.

1351
01:13:35,444 --> 01:13:38,720
And don't say nothing.
I'm trying to watch Sherman.

1352
01:13:38,847 --> 01:13:40,792
Okay, cool, cool.

1353
01:13:42,284 --> 01:13:45,526
Boy, wound I like to throw
some hot grease on you.

1354
01:13:47,156 --> 01:13:50,899
SHERMAN: This is Molly.
Molly is a one-year-old,
and Petey is four.

1355
01:13:51,126 --> 01:13:55,665
Petey is our candidate
for genetic
"transmografication."

1356
01:13:57,633 --> 01:13:59,701
Petey here,
Petey is our candidate

1357
01:13:59,701 --> 01:14:01,537
for genetic
transmofilectesy...

1358
01:14:01,537 --> 01:14:04,176
Genetic transgromanation.

1359
01:14:04,640 --> 01:14:07,309
The youthification.
That ain't a word.

1360
01:14:07,309 --> 01:14:09,011
ERNIE JR: How come
Uncle Sherman's talking funny?

1361
01:14:09,011 --> 01:14:10,612
He's starting to sound
like you, Dad.

1362
01:14:10,612 --> 01:14:11,814
He don't sound right, do he?

1363
01:14:11,814 --> 01:14:13,982
What do you mean,
"sound like me"? What's that?

1364
01:14:13,982 --> 01:14:17,019
ERNIE: Sherman up in a ivory
tower just 'cause
he went to college.

1365
01:14:17,019 --> 01:14:20,189
I could've gone to college
if I took that damn

1366
01:14:20,189 --> 01:14:23,125
elastic appitude test.

1367
01:14:23,125 --> 01:14:26,333
Hey, shut up.
What the hell's
wrong with Sherman?

1368
01:14:26,462 --> 01:14:29,231
You be breaking me down
in front of my seed
on the regular.

1369
01:14:29,231 --> 01:14:33,201
The reason we, he...
We gonna make him young.

1370
01:14:33,836 --> 01:14:36,942
So I say, let's get it on!

1371
01:14:41,677 --> 01:14:44,680
I’m gonna just give
a drop of this to Petey.

1372
01:14:44,680 --> 01:14:46,921
We watch and see what happens.

1373
01:14:50,552 --> 01:14:51,928
(SQUEAKING)

1374
01:15:00,896 --> 01:15:01,964
Isaac, you watching that?

1375
01:15:01,964 --> 01:15:02,965
Hey, that ain't right.

1376
01:15:04,900 --> 01:15:07,209
Hamsters will be
hamsters, huh?

1377
01:15:07,369 --> 01:15:09,041
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

1378
01:15:09,605 --> 01:15:11,049
(DEVICE BEEPING)

1379
01:15:23,118 --> 01:15:24,426
(ROARING)

1380
01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:33,795
What in blazes. . .

1381
01:15:33,795 --> 01:15:34,897
Look at that!

1382
01:15:34,897 --> 01:15:37,232
That's cool. That's real cool.
Look at that!

1383
01:15:37,232 --> 01:15:38,870
Petey! Down, boy.

1384
01:15:39,368 --> 01:15:40,744
(SQUEAKING)

1385
01:15:50,646 --> 01:15:51,780
Petey!

1386
01:15:51,780 --> 01:15:54,385
Shoot him ! Shoot him !

1387
01:16:11,967 --> 01:16:13,707
(PETEY ROARING)

1388
01:16:30,452 --> 01:16:31,896
(EXCLAIMING)

1389
01:16:33,188 --> 01:16:36,635
No, no. No.
Please, I'm not that
kind of guy.

1390
01:16:40,495 --> 01:16:41,730
Oh, my God.
I have to turn the channel.

1391
01:16:41,730 --> 01:16:42,898
I don't want
my baby seeing that.

1392
01:16:42,898 --> 01:16:45,534
That man ain't never
gonna be right again.

1393
01:16:45,534 --> 01:16:47,269
Somebody need to take
Isaac's pressure.

1394
01:16:47,269 --> 01:16:48,437
Oh, what's wrong with this?

1395
01:16:48,437 --> 01:16:49,771
Something like that
will ruin a man.

1396
01:16:49,771 --> 01:16:50,872
MAMA: Cover the baby's eyes.

1397
01:16:50,872 --> 01:16:53,475
That's too much
excitement for my baby.
Turn the channel.

1398
01:16:53,475 --> 01:16:55,210
I can't even turn.
That's nasty.

1399
01:16:55,210 --> 01:16:56,745
That's what that is.

1400
01:16:56,745 --> 01:16:59,314
MAMA: Turn the baby's eyes.
And he don't need to know
what it is, Mama.

1401
01:16:59,314 --> 01:17:01,691
Now, was that supposed
to happen?

1402
01:17:04,853 --> 01:17:08,056
It's the lovely
Miss Guilford.
Mr. Love.

1403
01:17:08,056 --> 01:17:10,325
What a wonderful day
we're having, huh?

1404
01:17:10,325 --> 01:17:12,361
Why am I not surprised
to see you here?

1405
01:17:12,361 --> 01:17:13,929
Well, I figured
since it turns out

1406
01:17:13,929 --> 01:17:15,263
that Professor Klump
ain't your man after all,

1407
01:17:15,263 --> 01:17:17,402
you might wanna talk a deal.

1408
01:17:19,601 --> 01:17:20,936
All right.

1409
01:17:20,936 --> 01:17:23,405
Have your formula ready
for presentation on Friday.

1410
01:17:23,405 --> 01:17:24,906
Friday it is.

1411
01:17:25,240 --> 01:17:28,812
See you Friday. Lovely dress.
I'll wear something sharp.

1412
01:17:36,051 --> 01:17:37,325
(CLEARS THROAT)

1413
01:17:37,486 --> 01:17:38,553
Oh, Dean.

1414
01:17:38,553 --> 01:17:40,222
I'm just trying to figure out
what went wrong here.

1415
01:17:40,222 --> 01:17:41,323
I just don't understand.

1416
01:17:41,323 --> 01:17:43,325
It must've been
some sort of contaminant
or something.

1417
01:17:43,325 --> 01:17:45,494
The deal with Phleer is off.

1418
01:17:45,494 --> 01:17:47,701
I just spoke
to Leanne Guilford.

1419
01:17:48,096 --> 01:17:49,631
But that doesn't bother me.

1420
01:17:49,631 --> 01:17:52,634
After all,
what's $1 50 million?

1421
01:17:53,068 --> 01:17:54,069
(GASPING)

1422
01:17:55,137 --> 01:17:56,505
Dean Richmond,
I am so sorry.

1423
01:17:56,505 --> 01:17:58,273
I'm really trying to get
to the bottom of this,

1424
01:17:58,273 --> 01:17:59,808
because this was not
supposed to happen.

1425
01:17:59,808 --> 01:18:02,151
No, that's not
what bothers me.

1426
01:18:02,611 --> 01:18:05,057
Deals will come
and deals will go.

1427
01:18:06,314 --> 01:18:07,783
Wellman will always
be Wellman.

1428
01:18:07,783 --> 01:18:10,218
But I'll tell you
what does bother me.

1429
01:18:10,218 --> 01:18:13,955
On the way over here,
a cute little boy
pointed at me and said,

1430
01:18:13,955 --> 01:18:17,425
"Oh, look, Mommy, there goes
the hamster's bitch !"

1431
01:18:29,538 --> 01:18:31,239
Dean, whatever it's worth,

1432
01:18:31,239 --> 01:18:33,775
Petey is back to normal
and feeling just fine.

1433
01:18:33,775 --> 01:18:36,778
Oh, yeah?
Do you think he'll call?

1434
01:18:39,047 --> 01:18:40,982
Dean, I just want
to tell you, I'm sorry.

1435
01:18:40,982 --> 01:18:42,818
Stop speaking !

1436
01:18:42,818 --> 01:18:45,662
I just want to go
on record as saying that. . .

1437
01:18:54,029 --> 01:18:57,632
I've been looking forward
to saying something
to you for 1 2 years.

1438
01:18:57,632 --> 01:18:59,167
And here it is.

1439
01:19:00,569 --> 01:19:02,309
You're fat!

1440
01:19:03,238 --> 01:19:05,240
(GIGGLING)

1441
01:19:07,476 --> 01:19:08,750
And dumb.

1442
01:19:14,216 --> 01:19:15,558
And fired.

1443
01:19:35,470 --> 01:19:36,710
Sherman.

1444
01:19:37,606 --> 01:19:39,380
It's not your fault.

1445
01:19:40,175 --> 01:19:41,813
I ain't never. . .

1446
01:19:42,577 --> 01:19:45,319
I'm never gonna be
the same again, am I?

1447
01:19:45,514 --> 01:19:47,049
I'm afraid not.

1448
01:19:53,421 --> 01:19:54,790
Since you've separated
from Buddy,

1449
01:19:54,790 --> 01:19:57,192
26% of your brain cells
have been damaged.

1450
01:19:57,192 --> 01:20:00,562
When that increases to 78%,
your speech and memory. . .

1451
01:20:00,562 --> 01:20:03,235
I know.
I'll be a total idiot.

1452
01:20:05,734 --> 01:20:08,136
Don't you think it's time
you told Denise?

1453
01:20:08,136 --> 01:20:10,479
Oh, no, Jason.
I can't do that.

1454
01:20:11,940 --> 01:20:13,575
How can I tell her
I'm losing the very thing

1455
01:20:13,575 --> 01:20:17,022
that made her fall
in love with me
in the first place?

1456
01:20:41,369 --> 01:20:44,008
Hi.
Sherman, what are you
doing here?

1457
01:20:46,141 --> 01:20:47,642
How you doing?

1458
01:20:48,043 --> 01:20:49,911
Your mama told me
I might be able
to find you here.

1459
01:20:49,911 --> 01:20:51,646
I've been looking
all over the place for you.

1460
01:20:51,646 --> 01:20:53,014
I've been leaving
messages everywhere.

1461
01:20:53,014 --> 01:20:56,117
I went by your place.
Yeah, well,
I had a lot on my mind.

1462
01:20:56,117 --> 01:21:00,156
You know, I walk around,
going around,
getting time to think.

1463
01:21:00,922 --> 01:21:02,324
I wonder if I can
talk to you
about something.

1464
01:21:02,324 --> 01:21:04,326
Look, I know you're upset
about what happened.

1465
01:21:04,326 --> 01:21:06,728
But we can get
right back to work
with the youth formula,

1466
01:21:06,728 --> 01:21:09,030
and I think the problem. . .
No, not science.

1467
01:21:09,030 --> 01:21:11,433
Denise, I'm not. . .
This isn't about science.

1468
01:21:11,433 --> 01:21:14,669
We can start completely over.
We can find
another university.

1469
01:21:14,669 --> 01:21:16,238
After the wedding,
we can even. . .

1470
01:21:16,238 --> 01:21:19,048
That's what I'm talking
about the wedding.

1471
01:21:21,009 --> 01:21:22,878
Denise, I don't think
there's going to be a wedding.

1472
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:24,880
Well, not right away anyway.

1473
01:21:24,880 --> 01:21:28,083
I mean, my head's
just kind of
messed up right now,

1474
01:21:28,083 --> 01:21:30,785
and I don't think
it'd be fair to you.

1475
01:21:30,785 --> 01:21:31,888
What?

1476
01:21:33,121 --> 01:21:34,793
I made a mistake.

1477
01:21:35,156 --> 01:21:38,727
And I have to work
that mistake out.
I have to live with that.

1478
01:21:38,727 --> 01:21:40,228
Me, not you.

1479
01:21:40,228 --> 01:21:43,398
See, you're so pretty,
and you're so smart.

1480
01:21:43,398 --> 01:21:45,033
You just got
your whole life
ahead of you.

1481
01:21:45,033 --> 01:21:47,877
I just don't want
to mess things up for you.

1482
01:21:48,904 --> 01:21:50,576
I'm sorry, Denise.

1483
01:21:56,478 --> 01:21:58,685
I think I'd better get going.

1484
01:22:30,612 --> 01:22:32,113
PAPA: You all right?

1485
01:22:32,580 --> 01:22:36,789
Oh, I just don't
understand, Cletus.
And he won't tell me why.

1486
01:22:38,253 --> 01:22:39,732
Anna, listen.

1487
01:22:40,355 --> 01:22:43,426
Sometimes a man do some
crazy things, you know?

1488
01:22:43,959 --> 01:22:45,260
Not that he's trying
to hurt nobody.

1489
01:22:45,260 --> 01:22:47,228
He's not trying to tell you
he don't love you.

1490
01:22:47,228 --> 01:22:48,502
It's just. . .

1491
01:22:49,864 --> 01:22:52,810
Sometimes you get
kind of confused, you know?

1492
01:22:56,972 --> 01:22:58,974
You hear what I'm saying?

1493
01:23:00,175 --> 01:23:02,917
(CRYING) Yes, Cletus,
I hear what you're saying.

1494
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:06,181
I'll talk to the boy.

1495
01:23:06,181 --> 01:23:08,285
Everything was so fabulous.

1496
01:23:08,616 --> 01:23:10,755
You cut out that crying now.

1497
01:23:11,286 --> 01:23:13,925
It's all right.
Stop all that crying.

1498
01:23:14,522 --> 01:23:17,892
Go clean your nose up.
Go wash your hands.

1499
01:23:17,892 --> 01:23:20,395
Snot all over the place
looking nasty as hell.

1500
01:23:20,395 --> 01:23:22,964
What's this on me?
Goddamn, look what
you put on me, Anna.

1501
01:23:22,964 --> 01:23:24,841
What's this on me for?

1502
01:23:32,507 --> 01:23:34,509
PAPA: Yeah, you know
something, Sherman?

1503
01:23:34,509 --> 01:23:38,079
The very first building
I ever worked on was
on this site right here.

1504
01:23:38,079 --> 01:23:40,815
Yep. Isn't that something?
It was a bakery.

1505
01:23:40,815 --> 01:23:41,983
Yeah.

1506
01:23:41,983 --> 01:23:43,318
Tore it down
two years ago.

1507
01:23:43,318 --> 01:23:45,553
Thirty-five years later,
I wind up working
on the thing,

1508
01:23:45,553 --> 01:23:48,890
building it up all over again.
Ain't that something?

1509
01:23:48,890 --> 01:23:52,098
I expected the building
I worked on was permanent.

1510
01:23:52,694 --> 01:23:55,037
But I was wrong,
'cause it ain't.

1511
01:23:55,463 --> 01:23:56,631
That's not permanent.

1512
01:23:56,631 --> 01:23:59,034
You know what's
permanent, Sherman?
You know what's permanent?

1513
01:23:59,034 --> 01:24:00,769
I'm gonna tell you.

1514
01:24:00,769 --> 01:24:04,039
What me and your mama got.
That's permanent.

1515
01:24:04,039 --> 01:24:06,441
That ain't going no place.
You know what I mean?

1516
01:24:06,441 --> 01:24:09,110
If you get you
a woman that really,
really loves you,

1517
01:24:09,110 --> 01:24:11,749
you've got to hold
on to that, Sherman.

1518
01:24:14,416 --> 01:24:16,418
Yeah, that's true, Daddy.

1519
01:24:16,951 --> 01:24:18,620
Yeah, I knows
I sure do love Denise.

1520
01:24:18,620 --> 01:24:21,623
Well, then y’all gotta
get back together then.

1521
01:24:23,291 --> 01:24:25,031
Get back together?

1522
01:24:26,161 --> 01:24:28,530
Daddy, that's it.
Yeah.

1523
01:24:28,530 --> 01:24:29,964
Get back together.

1524
01:24:29,964 --> 01:24:33,401
If we get back together,
that'll make everything okay.

1525
01:24:33,401 --> 01:24:36,471
Dynamite. Go call the girl.
Say what? Not Denise. Buddy.

1526
01:24:36,471 --> 01:24:37,939
If me and Buddy
get back together,

1527
01:24:37,939 --> 01:24:39,908
that'll make everything fine
between me and Denise.

1528
01:24:39,908 --> 01:24:42,513
Hey, you just took
the wrong off-ramp.

1529
01:24:42,744 --> 01:24:44,846
I can use
the youth formula.

1530
01:24:44,846 --> 01:24:46,581
I'll feed it to Buddy.
It'll make him so young.

1531
01:24:46,581 --> 01:24:48,016
(EXCLAIMS)
I'll turn him back into goop.

1532
01:24:48,016 --> 01:24:50,155
And I ingest. . .
I eat it! I eat it!

1533
01:24:50,285 --> 01:24:52,320
That's it.
Daddy, that'll work.

1534
01:24:52,320 --> 01:24:55,256
I wouldn’t have even
thought about that.
This is fantastic.

1535
01:24:55,256 --> 01:24:56,558
What are you gonna eat?

1536
01:24:56,558 --> 01:24:58,435
Sherman ! Damn !

1537
01:25:18,880 --> 01:25:20,222
(SIGHING)

1538
01:25:25,120 --> 01:25:27,455
Hello, Sherman.
I heard you were here.

1539
01:25:27,455 --> 01:25:30,258
Give me a minute, Dean,
and I'll be on my way.

1540
01:25:30,258 --> 01:25:31,493
Trespass all you like.

1541
01:25:31,493 --> 01:25:35,063
It goes so well in court
with grand theft.
I beg your pardon.

1542
01:25:35,063 --> 01:25:38,867
You're trying to sell
the youth formula
under a different identity.

1543
01:25:38,867 --> 01:25:41,703
Who do you think you are?
Dean, you just
don't understand, really.

1544
01:25:41,703 --> 01:25:42,871
That's always possible.

1545
01:25:42,871 --> 01:25:44,639
Then help me out
if you don't mind. Explain it.

1546
01:25:44,639 --> 01:25:47,244
Why is Buddy Love
meeting with Phleer?

1547
01:25:48,076 --> 01:25:49,477
Oh, my goodness.
I gotta hurry up.

1548
01:25:49,477 --> 01:25:50,578
Not so fast, pal.

1549
01:25:50,578 --> 01:25:51,646
I'm not letting you
out of my sight

1550
01:25:51,646 --> 01:25:53,148
until both our names
are on that contract.

1551
01:25:53,148 --> 01:25:56,720
I'm going to be stuck on you
like a giant hamster on my. . .

1552
01:25:57,986 --> 01:25:59,721
Where you go, I go.

1553
01:25:59,721 --> 01:26:02,090
I have no time
to stand here
and argue with you.

1554
01:26:02,090 --> 01:26:05,260
If you wanna come along,
I'll explain it
to you on the way.

1555
01:26:05,260 --> 01:26:07,929
BUDDY: Ladies and gentlemen
and distinguished guests,
it is show time.

1556
01:26:07,929 --> 01:26:09,697
Now I'd like to present
to you exhibit "A."

1557
01:26:09,697 --> 01:26:12,133
His name is Zeke,
and it is very clear

1558
01:26:12,133 --> 01:26:13,601
that Zeke has been getting
his ass whipped

1559
01:26:13,601 --> 01:26:15,512
by Father Time
for many, many years.

1560
01:26:30,852 --> 01:26:32,558
(COMPUTER ALARM RINGING)

1561
01:27:00,848 --> 01:27:02,486
Oh, my God, Sherman.

1562
01:27:09,157 --> 01:27:12,493
Sherman ! Sherman ! Sherman !

1563
01:27:12,493 --> 01:27:14,262
Hey, hey, hey, Denise.

1564
01:27:14,262 --> 01:27:15,430
Thank God.

1565
01:27:15,430 --> 01:27:16,497
PAPA: What the hell's
going on?

1566
01:27:16,497 --> 01:27:18,967
Papa Klump,
have you seen Sherman?
He's in trouble.

1567
01:27:18,967 --> 01:27:20,034
Oh, tell me about it.

1568
01:27:20,034 --> 01:27:22,170
First the boy acting crazy
and called off the wedding.

1569
01:27:22,170 --> 01:27:24,038
Then he talking about
eating some guy.

1570
01:27:24,038 --> 01:27:26,040
I don't know if
it's something I need
to talk to the boy about.

1571
01:27:26,040 --> 01:27:27,175
Wait. Eating somebody?

1572
01:27:27,175 --> 01:27:29,450
Yeah, he said
he's gonna eat some man.

1573
01:27:30,178 --> 01:27:32,480
Of course. Buddy.
Yeah, that's the guy.

1574
01:27:32,480 --> 01:27:34,082
What's going on
between the three of y'all?

1575
01:27:34,082 --> 01:27:35,950
What's this,
a kind of ménage á trois?

1576
01:27:35,950 --> 01:27:37,752
I know where Sherman is.

1577
01:27:37,752 --> 01:27:40,989
Ladies and gentlemen,
if Zeke dropped
dead right now,

1578
01:27:40,989 --> 01:27:43,162
who would care?
I would.

1579
01:27:43,391 --> 01:27:45,393
My point exactly. Exactly.

1580
01:27:45,393 --> 01:27:47,161
That no person,
no matter who they are,

1581
01:27:47,161 --> 01:27:50,498
no matter how hopelessly
disgusting their case may be,

1582
01:27:50,498 --> 01:27:52,433
should be left
without a second chance.

1583
01:27:52,433 --> 01:27:56,403
And that is why
I would like to
introduce New You,

1584
01:27:56,904 --> 01:27:59,107
a fully copyrighted product
being offered to you

1585
01:27:59,107 --> 01:28:01,109
by the good people
of Love Enterprises.

1586
01:28:01,109 --> 01:28:02,477
Now, if you'd be
so kind, Zeke,

1587
01:28:02,477 --> 01:28:03,611
would you drink
this up, please?

1588
01:28:03,611 --> 01:28:06,414
It's kind of like
Mogen David, but fruitier.

1589
01:28:06,414 --> 01:28:08,516
Wait! I'm sorry to interrupt,
ladies and gentlemen !

1590
01:28:08,516 --> 01:28:10,118
But I cannot go on living

1591
01:28:10,118 --> 01:28:12,825
unless I have this man
inside me right now.

1592
01:28:13,521 --> 01:28:14,656
Steady, sailor.

1593
01:28:14,656 --> 01:28:15,957
What the hell
is going on here?

1594
01:28:15,957 --> 01:28:17,425
Well, if it isn't
Professor Sherman Klump,

1595
01:28:17,425 --> 01:28:19,761
the inventor of
Jumbo the Horny Hamster.

1596
01:28:19,761 --> 01:28:20,967
Please!

1597
01:28:21,162 --> 01:28:24,871
Buddy, I am sick
and I am tired of your S-H. . .

1598
01:28:26,034 --> 01:28:27,502
I.
Thank you.

1599
01:28:27,502 --> 01:28:28,912
T-E.

1600
01:28:29,704 --> 01:28:31,105
My shite? Oh, really?

1601
01:28:31,105 --> 01:28:32,407
Well, what you gonna do
about it, Shamu?

1602
01:28:32,407 --> 01:28:33,508
Tell you what I'm gonna do.

1603
01:28:33,508 --> 01:28:35,510
I don't have no time
to play no games
with your ass.

1604
01:28:35,510 --> 01:28:37,211
You got time
to play a little catch,
don't you?

1605
01:28:37,211 --> 01:28:39,122
Oh, you bastard.

1606
01:28:40,415 --> 01:28:41,621
Buddy.

1607
01:28:45,553 --> 01:28:47,225
(WHISTLING)

1608
01:28:49,324 --> 01:28:50,700
(CHATTERING)

1609
01:28:51,159 --> 01:28:53,161
Buddy, Buddy. Buddy.

1610
01:28:54,195 --> 01:28:56,497
Get it, Buddy. Buddy!

1611
01:28:56,497 --> 01:28:57,832
(TEASING)

1612
01:28:57,832 --> 01:29:00,403
Hey, Buddy. Fetch.

1613
01:29:07,508 --> 01:29:09,043
(LAUGHING)

1614
01:29:21,022 --> 01:29:23,866
What the hell is that?
Who's dumb now?

1615
01:29:28,463 --> 01:29:30,965
Oh, Sherman.
Oh, you sneaky son of a bitch.

1616
01:29:30,965 --> 01:29:32,569
Oh, Sherman !

1617
01:29:34,535 --> 01:29:36,571
Oh, no!

1618
01:29:38,773 --> 01:29:42,610
Oh, shit! Everybody calm down.

1619
01:29:42,610 --> 01:29:45,012
This is a part
of the demonstration.
Just calm. Relax.

1620
01:29:45,012 --> 01:29:47,815
Everything's under control.
What the hell
are you looking at?

1621
01:29:47,815 --> 01:29:49,417
This is an impressive
package for a toddler.

1622
01:29:49,417 --> 01:29:51,285
All right, Mr. Toddler.

1623
01:29:51,285 --> 01:29:54,622
Nothing to see here, folks.
This mutant is about
to dissolve into liquid,

1624
01:29:54,622 --> 01:29:57,558
and then the fat man
is going to suck him
through a straw.

1625
01:29:57,558 --> 01:30:00,161
Sorry, Buddy.
I just want my life back.

1626
01:30:00,161 --> 01:30:03,097
You don't owe him any. . . What?
Come here.

1627
01:30:03,097 --> 01:30:06,237
Oh, you rotten
son of a. . . Oh !

1628
01:30:06,701 --> 01:30:08,336
I'm hit! I'm hit!

1629
01:30:08,336 --> 01:30:11,672
Forget it, fat ass.
I ain't going back
inside of you.

1630
01:30:11,672 --> 01:30:12,774
Mmm.

1631
01:30:12,774 --> 01:30:14,082
Got milk?

1632
01:30:16,844 --> 01:30:18,618
Thank you, baby.

1633
01:30:19,981 --> 01:30:21,687
He's getting away.

1634
01:30:23,317 --> 01:30:25,052
Dean, I want that formula.

1635
01:30:25,052 --> 01:30:28,489
Bring me the man who made it.
I'm ready to make a deal.

1636
01:30:28,489 --> 01:30:29,490
Hmm?

1637
01:30:29,757 --> 01:30:30,928
Right.

1638
01:30:33,494 --> 01:30:35,803
I'm naked ! I'm naked !
I'm naked ! I'm naked !
I'm naked !

1639
01:30:41,402 --> 01:30:43,973
There he is.
What the hell is happening?

1640
01:30:49,410 --> 01:30:50,945
(SCREAMING)

1641
01:30:52,947 --> 01:30:55,518
What the hell was that?
Buddy.

1642
01:30:58,619 --> 01:31:00,521
All right, that's it.
Slow the car down ! Slow down !

1643
01:31:00,521 --> 01:31:02,290
We can't help Sherman
wrapped around no light pole.

1644
01:31:02,290 --> 01:31:03,357
We've got to get to him.

1645
01:31:03,357 --> 01:31:06,337
He and Buddy
have to be combined
immediately.

1646
01:31:08,296 --> 01:31:09,430
(WOMAN SCREAMING)

1647
01:31:09,430 --> 01:31:11,999
Where's the little snot now?
What the hell
are you looking at?

1648
01:31:11,999 --> 01:31:14,035
Come on. What? What?

1649
01:31:17,705 --> 01:31:19,674
Don't feel right.
Starting to feel
a little light-headed.

1650
01:31:19,674 --> 01:31:21,309
If you quit now,
you're gonna be
empty-headed.

1651
01:31:21,309 --> 01:31:23,044
Come on, Klump.
Let's get him.

1652
01:31:23,044 --> 01:31:25,148
Get a hold of this, chubby.

1653
01:31:25,513 --> 01:31:27,515
(BUDDY SHOUTING)

1654
01:31:32,553 --> 01:31:34,293
You got a big ass!

1655
01:31:37,592 --> 01:31:38,693
What?

1656
01:31:38,693 --> 01:31:40,502
Follow that ass.

1657
01:31:43,598 --> 01:31:45,733
Aw, hell.
Now, what's all of this?

1658
01:31:45,733 --> 01:31:46,801
Move out the way,
damn it!

1659
01:31:46,801 --> 01:31:47,802
Wait a minute.
I think I see him.

1660
01:31:53,708 --> 01:31:54,876
(FARTING)

1661
01:31:54,876 --> 01:31:56,184
BUDDY: Goddamn.

1662
01:31:57,945 --> 01:31:59,380
Oh, no. Don't even
think about it.
Don't you do it.

1663
01:31:59,380 --> 01:32:00,882
(FARTING)

1664
01:32:00,882 --> 01:32:02,691
Oh, you're doing it.

1665
01:32:03,451 --> 01:32:04,793
(SHOUTING)

1666
01:32:07,955 --> 01:32:09,092
Stop!

1667
01:32:09,223 --> 01:32:10,633
(BUDDY YELLING)

1668
01:32:16,631 --> 01:32:22,581
All right, tubby.
Let's see how long
you last without me.

1669
01:32:30,311 --> 01:32:33,281
What? What?
That's it? He's gone?

1670
01:32:33,281 --> 01:32:35,260
(STAMMERING) Ah, I. . .

1671
01:32:35,550 --> 01:32:37,251
(IMITATING SHERMAN STAMMERING)

1672
01:32:37,251 --> 01:32:39,094
Oh, that's marvelous.

1673
01:32:43,090 --> 01:32:45,467
The deal is dead,
you know that?

1674
01:32:47,128 --> 01:32:50,973
I've been calling you
a moron for years.
Now you're finally. . .

1675
01:32:54,835 --> 01:32:56,609
I'll just get a cab.

1676
01:33:07,815 --> 01:33:09,316
(SHERMAN SHOUTING)

1677
01:33:09,483 --> 01:33:12,053
Oh, Sherman !
I raised a genius.

1678
01:33:12,053 --> 01:33:14,121
DOCTOR: No one is perfect.
SHERMAN: I want to be
perfect for her.

1679
01:33:14,121 --> 01:33:15,823
DOCTOR: Perfect?
JASON: About time
you told Denise?

1680
01:33:15,823 --> 01:33:17,658
DOCTOR: Accept the fact.
That's your future.

1681
01:33:17,658 --> 01:33:19,093
DOCTOR: You will never learn
to control him

1682
01:33:19,093 --> 01:33:22,073
till you accept the fact
he is a part of you.

1683
01:33:36,010 --> 01:33:37,250
Sherman.

1684
01:33:40,081 --> 01:33:41,457
You okay?

1685
01:33:48,189 --> 01:33:50,591
Gone. . . He's all gone.

1686
01:33:50,591 --> 01:33:52,627
Buddy? He evaporated?

1687
01:33:52,627 --> 01:33:56,836
Gone. And me no smart.
Never. No more.

1688
01:33:56,964 --> 01:33:59,500
Sherman, that's okay.
I mean, we'll figure
something out.

1689
01:33:59,500 --> 01:34:02,069
There has to be something
that we can do.

1690
01:34:02,069 --> 01:34:04,515
I want to say I'm. . .
I'm sorry.

1691
01:34:06,107 --> 01:34:10,419
I never. . .
I didn't want to hurt you.
You understand?

1692
01:34:10,811 --> 01:34:14,281
I thought that
if you knew that Buddy
was a part of me,

1693
01:34:15,683 --> 01:34:17,151
I thought that you
wouldn’t have me then.

1694
01:34:17,151 --> 01:34:20,791
Sherman.
Now, hear me.
Hear me out now.

1695
01:34:23,057 --> 01:34:25,469
I should've had
more faith in you.

1696
01:34:26,961 --> 01:34:30,231
Should've had more faith
in myself. But I. . .

1697
01:34:30,231 --> 01:34:33,906
Sherman. Sherman,
what's wrong?

1698
01:34:34,502 --> 01:34:36,270
Sherman?
Can't you hear, son?

1699
01:34:36,270 --> 01:34:38,044
Sherman, look at me.

1700
01:34:38,906 --> 01:34:40,180
Who am I?

1701
01:34:46,947 --> 01:34:48,549
Pretty lady.

1702
01:34:48,549 --> 01:34:49,950
Oh, honey.

1703
01:34:49,950 --> 01:34:51,585
Oh, that's nice.

1704
01:34:51,585 --> 01:34:53,220
It's gonna be okay.

1705
01:34:53,220 --> 01:34:54,528
Nice.

1706
01:34:56,691 --> 01:34:58,359
I'll take care of you.

1707
01:34:58,359 --> 01:35:00,964
Oh ! Come on.
Let's get the boy home.

1708
01:35:02,263 --> 01:35:04,208
Nice lady.

1709
01:35:10,871 --> 01:35:13,274
PAPA: Come on.
Let's get him home.

1710
01:35:13,274 --> 01:35:14,375
Come on.

1711
01:35:14,375 --> 01:35:15,785
Go home now.

1712
01:35:16,210 --> 01:35:18,155
Thank you.

1713
01:35:23,050 --> 01:35:26,190
Oh, look at the pretty water.

1714
01:35:29,457 --> 01:35:31,492
Oh, my God. It's Buddy.

1715
01:35:31,492 --> 01:35:33,561
His DNA dispersed
in the water molecules.
Sherman, quick.

1716
01:35:33,561 --> 01:35:35,199
What the hell?

1717
01:35:35,629 --> 01:35:37,498
Drink this.
No. Dirty water.

1718
01:35:37,498 --> 01:35:40,478
No. Come on, honey.
You have to drink this.
Please.

1719
01:35:41,736 --> 01:35:43,637
Drink dirty water.
Look at me.

1720
01:35:43,637 --> 01:35:45,116
What's my name?

1721
01:35:47,875 --> 01:35:51,078
Denise. You're Denise.
Oh, yes. Drink some more.

1722
01:35:51,078 --> 01:35:53,614
Denise.
Come on. Drink some more.

1723
01:35:53,614 --> 01:35:56,417
What's two times two?
Two times two is four.

1724
01:35:56,417 --> 01:35:59,286
Four times four?
Four times four is. . . Sixteen.

1725
01:35:59,286 --> 01:36:01,989
Sherman, yes.
Drink some more
before Buddy disperses.

1726
01:36:01,989 --> 01:36:04,992
Come on, boy.

1727
01:36:06,527 --> 01:36:08,700
What's your mama middle name?

1728
01:36:09,063 --> 01:36:11,236
Oh, hell, no. That ain't it.

1729
01:36:12,366 --> 01:36:14,368
Get a lot now. Get a lot.

1730
01:36:15,603 --> 01:36:17,271
That's enough.
Pearl.

1731
01:36:17,271 --> 01:36:19,707
He said Pearl ! He said Pearl !
Anna Pearl.

1732
01:36:19,707 --> 01:36:22,243
Sherman, what's
the square root
of 2,000,602?

1733
01:36:22,243 --> 01:36:23,744
That's a hard one.

1734
01:36:23,744 --> 01:36:30,317
4,41 4.4263855.

1735
01:36:30,317 --> 01:36:31,727
Oh, yes!

1736
01:36:32,920 --> 01:36:34,797
Oh, Sherman, yes!

1737
01:36:58,078 --> 01:37:00,815
Oh, fabulous! Oh !

1738
01:37:00,815 --> 01:37:02,383
Dynamite! Dynamite!

1739
01:37:02,383 --> 01:37:03,953
That's so lovely.

1740
01:37:04,151 --> 01:37:09,896
This go out to the new
Mr. and Ms. Sherman Klump.

1741
01:37:10,624 --> 01:37:12,259
Hear! Hear!
Come on, y'all. Take it down.

1742
01:37:12,259 --> 01:37:15,103
(SINGING)
A one

1743
01:37:15,262 --> 01:37:19,433
Ln a million

1744
01:37:19,433 --> 01:37:21,902
Chance

1745
01:37:21,902 --> 01:37:25,372
Of a lifetime
That sounds good

1746
01:37:25,639 --> 01:37:27,641
And I

1747
01:37:27,641 --> 01:37:30,986
Whoo! Ernie, this mine.
This mine, Ernie.

1748
01:37:32,413 --> 01:37:34,849
Yes, indeed.
You surely are
one in a million.

1749
01:37:34,849 --> 01:37:38,853
And I am finally
in charge, all right?
All the way in charge.

1750
01:37:38,853 --> 01:37:41,060
Sherman Klump in charge.

1751
01:37:42,056 --> 01:37:43,624
You know I saved
Sherman's life.

1752
01:37:43,624 --> 01:37:46,794
Cletus Klump,
stop all that bragging.
Come on. Dance with me.

1753
01:37:46,794 --> 01:37:49,570
Excuse us.
I'll get right back at you.

1754
01:37:49,964 --> 01:37:52,171
DENISE: Okay, you guys,
you ready?

1755
01:37:54,401 --> 01:37:55,777
(WOMEN SCREAMING)

1756
01:38:00,074 --> 01:38:02,611
You know what this means,
don't you?

1757
01:38:03,310 --> 01:38:05,790
ERNIE: Piece of happiness
to call my own.

1758
01:38:07,748 --> 01:38:12,353
And life's worth living again

1759
01:38:12,353 --> 01:38:15,089
Anna Pearl,
you are looking foxy
fine tonight.

1760
01:38:15,089 --> 01:38:16,431
Oh !

1761
01:38:17,825 --> 01:38:20,461
Yeah, you got me feeling
like I'm 20 years old again.

1762
01:38:20,461 --> 01:38:23,497
Oh. . . Oh !

1763
01:38:23,497 --> 01:38:25,766
Oh, Cletus, is that your. . .

1764
01:38:25,766 --> 01:38:27,404
Mmm-hmm. You damn right.

1765
01:38:28,836 --> 01:38:32,749
Hercules, Hercules,
Hercules, Hercules!

1766
01:38:35,809 --> 01:38:37,411
One in a million

1767
01:38:37,411 --> 01:38:39,813
Million
Make that a billion

1768
01:38:39,813 --> 01:38:42,483
No, a trillion
Oh, a zillion

1769
01:38:42,483 --> 01:38:47,254
You, you

1770
01:38:47,254 --> 01:38:48,528
Oh

1771
01:38:49,023 --> 01:38:51,892
Oh, Lord, Lord

1772
01:38:51,892 --> 01:38:55,669
You, you, you

1773
01:38:58,766 --> 01:39:01,041
I love you, Joe College!

1774
01:39:08,475 --> 01:39:09,743
(MACHO MAN PLAYING)

1775
01:39:09,743 --> 01:39:12,146
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

1776
01:39:12,146 --> 01:39:14,114
Macho, macho man

1777
01:39:14,114 --> 01:39:15,950
Macho man, yeah

1778
01:39:15,950 --> 01:39:18,589
I’ve got to be a macho man

1779
01:39:19,453 --> 01:39:22,695
Macho, macho man, yeah

1780
01:39:23,657 --> 01:39:27,928
Klump? Aw, shit.
The prop's falling apart.

1781
01:39:27,928 --> 01:39:29,296
(CREW LAUGHING)

1782
01:39:29,296 --> 01:39:31,699
You get the heart pumping
with the red wine.

1783
01:39:31,699 --> 01:39:35,536
The better the circulation.
Pumping heart, red wine.

1784
01:39:35,536 --> 01:39:39,814
One and one is two.
Powerful erection.
Powerful erection !

1785
01:39:41,108 --> 01:39:42,177
Oh !

1786
01:39:43,077 --> 01:39:44,611
Cletus!

1787
01:39:44,611 --> 01:39:46,112
(CREW LAUGHING)

1788
01:39:49,783 --> 01:39:52,686
You bitches
done ruined everything.
I just told you, bitch !

1789
01:39:52,686 --> 01:39:54,096
I'm gonna kick your ass now!

1790
01:39:54,588 --> 01:39:56,590
I'm ogling you, too.

1791
01:39:58,892 --> 01:40:00,234
(CREW LAUGHING)

1792
01:40:02,229 --> 01:40:06,000
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done, O Lord?

1793
01:40:06,000 --> 01:40:07,274
(YELLING)

1794
01:40:09,470 --> 01:40:14,385
Hurry, Cletus. Hurry.
Hurry, Cletus.
Oh, Cletus. Lord, hurry.

1795
01:40:15,009 --> 01:40:17,421
Cletus, my "areolas"
is gonna pop.

1796
01:40:19,880 --> 01:40:22,019
See you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.

1797
01:40:32,893 --> 01:40:36,997
Oh, happy day
Oh, happy day, happy day

1798
01:40:36,997 --> 01:40:39,067
Oh, happy day
Happy day

1799
01:40:39,400 --> 01:40:40,467
(DOESN'T REALLY MATTER
PLAYING)

1800
01:40:40,467 --> 01:40:43,804
WOMAN: (SINGING)
Doesn't matter what
your friends are telling you

1801
01:40:43,804 --> 01:40:46,173
Doesn't matter
what my family is saying too

1802
01:40:46,173 --> 01:40:48,675
Lt just matters
that I’m in love with you

1803
01:40:48,675 --> 01:40:51,078
Lt only matters
that you love me too

1804
01:40:51,078 --> 01:40:53,514
Lt doesn't matter
if they won't accept you

1805
01:40:53,514 --> 01:40:55,849
I’m accepting of you
and the things you do

1806
01:40:55,849 --> 01:40:58,352
Just as long as it's you

1807
01:40:58,352 --> 01:41:01,662
Nobody but you, baby, baby

1808
01:41:01,922 --> 01:41:03,901
My love for you

1809
01:41:04,024 --> 01:41:06,333
Unconditional love too

1810
01:41:06,460 --> 01:41:11,365
Gotta get up, get up, get up
get up, get up, get up
and show you that it

1811
01:41:11,365 --> 01:41:13,767
Doesn't really matter
what the eye is seeing

1812
01:41:13,767 --> 01:41:16,008
'Cause I’m in love
with the inner being

1813
01:41:16,136 --> 01:41:18,305
No, it doesn't really matter
what they believe

1814
01:41:18,305 --> 01:41:20,682
What matters to me
is that you're in love with me

1815
01:41:20,974 --> 01:41:23,277
Doesn't really matter
what the eye is seeing

1816
01:41:23,277 --> 01:41:25,518
'Cause I’m in love
with the inner being

1817
01:41:25,679 --> 01:41:28,115
No, it doesn't really matter
what they believe

1818
01:41:28,115 --> 01:41:31,151
What matters to me is you're
nutty, nutty, nutty for me

1819
01:41:31,151 --> 01:41:32,519
You're so kind

1820
01:41:32,519 --> 01:41:35,589
Just what I asked for
You're so loving and kind

1821
01:41:35,589 --> 01:41:37,357
And you're mine

1822
01:41:37,357 --> 01:41:41,703
And I can't believe
you're mine

1823
01:41:42,129 --> 01:41:45,499
Doesn't matter
if you're feeling insecure

1824
01:41:45,499 --> 01:41:47,935
Doesn't matter
is you're feeling so unsure

1825
01:41:47,935 --> 01:41:50,337
'Cause I'll take away
the doubt within your heart

1826
01:41:50,337 --> 01:41:52,840
And show that my love
will never hurt or harm

1827
01:41:52,840 --> 01:41:55,209
Doesn't matter
what the pain we go through

1828
01:41:55,209 --> 01:41:57,611
Doesn't matter
if the money's gone too

1829
01:41:57,611 --> 01:42:00,080
Just as long as I’m with you

1830
01:42:00,080 --> 01:42:03,322
Nobody but you, baby, baby

1831
01:42:03,550 --> 01:42:05,620
Your love for me

1832
01:42:05,752 --> 01:42:07,855
Unconditional I see

1833
01:42:07,855 --> 01:42:13,270
Gotta get up, get up
get up, get up, get up
and show you that it

1834
01:42:29,910 --> 01:42:32,079
Doesn't really matter
what the eye is seeing

1835
01:42:32,079 --> 01:42:34,491
'Cause I’m in love
with the inner being

1836
01:42:34,748 --> 01:42:37,050
No, it doesn't really matter
what they believe

1837
01:42:37,050 --> 01:42:39,325
What matters to me
is you're in love with me

1838
01:42:39,586 --> 01:42:41,755
Doesn't really matter
what the eye is seeing

1839
01:42:41,755 --> 01:42:44,191
'Cause I’m in love
with the inner being

1840
01:42:44,191 --> 01:42:46,727
No, it doesn't really matter
what they believe

1841
01:42:46,727 --> 01:42:49,329
What matters to me is you're
nutty, nutty, nutty for me

1842
01:42:49,329 --> 01:42:51,431
Doesn't really matter
what the eye is seeing

1843
01:42:51,431 --> 01:42:53,968
'Cause I’m in love
with the inner being

1844
01:42:54,101 --> 01:42:56,303
No, it doesn't really matter
what they believe

1845
01:42:56,303 --> 01:42:58,646
What matters to me
is you're in love with me

1846
01:42:58,972 --> 01:43:01,141
Doesn't really matter
what the eye is seeing

1847
01:43:01,141 --> 01:43:03,677
'Cause I’m in love
with the inner being

1848
01:43:03,677 --> 01:43:05,946
No, it doesn't really matter
what they believe

1849
01:43:05,946 --> 01:43:08,682
What matters to me is you're
nutty, nutty, nutty for me

1850
01:43:08,682 --> 01:43:10,184
You're so kind

1851
01:43:10,184 --> 01:43:13,554
Just what I asked for
You're so loving and kind

1852
01:43:13,554 --> 01:43:15,055
And you're mine

1853
01:43:15,055 --> 01:43:19,867
And I can't believe
you're mine

1854
01:43:20,027 --> 01:43:24,134
Doesn't matter what they say

1855
01:43:24,631 --> 01:43:29,603
Because you know
I’m gonna love you anyway

1856
01:43:29,803 --> 01:43:34,174
Doesn't matter what they do

1857
01:43:34,174 --> 01:43:39,783
'Cause my love
will always be with you

1858
01:43:41,315 --> 01:43:43,717
My love for you

1859
01:43:43,717 --> 01:43:46,186
Unconditional love too

1860
01:43:46,186 --> 01:43:48,422
Gotta get up, get up
get up, get up, get up

1861
01:43:48,422 --> 01:43:52,826
And show you
that my love is true

1862
01:43:52,826 --> 01:43:56,796
And it is just for you

1863
01:43:57,564 --> 01:43:59,800
Doesn't really matter
what the eye is seeing

1864
01:43:59,800 --> 01:44:02,436
'Cause I’m in love
with the inner being

1865
01:44:02,436 --> 01:44:04,805
No, it doesn't really matter
what they believe

1866
01:44:04,805 --> 01:44:07,046
What matters to me
is you're in love with me

1867
01:44:07,307 --> 01:44:09,443
Doesn't really matter
what the eye is seeing

1868
01:44:09,443 --> 01:44:12,145
'Cause I’m in love
with the inner being

1869
01:44:12,145 --> 01:44:14,448
No, it doesn't really matter
what they believe

1870
01:44:14,448 --> 01:44:17,050
What matters to me is you're
nutty, nutty, nutty for me

1871
01:44:17,050 --> 01:44:19,319
Nutty, nutty, nutty
my love for you

1872
01:44:19,319 --> 01:44:21,855
I can't believe
my dreams come true

1873
01:44:21,855 --> 01:44:24,157
I’ve finally found somebody
whose heart is true

1874
01:44:24,157 --> 01:44:26,398
And best of all
you love me too

1875
01:44:26,693 --> 01:44:29,096
Nutty, nutty, nutty
my love for you

1876
01:44:29,096 --> 01:44:31,200
I can't believe
my dreams come true

1877
01:44:31,498 --> 01:44:33,700
I’ve finally found somebody
whose heart is true

1878
01:44:33,700 --> 01:44:36,436
And best of all you're
nutty, nutty, nutty for me

1879
01:44:36,436 --> 01:44:37,904
Whoa, whoa

1880
01:44:37,904 --> 01:44:43,584
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

1881
01:44:45,979 --> 01:44:48,215
Nutty, nutty, nutty
my love for you

1882
01:44:48,215 --> 01:44:50,718
I can't believe
my dreams come true

1883
01:44:50,884 --> 01:44:51,985
(GIGGLES)

1884
01:44:51,985 --> 01:44:53,654
I’ve finally found somebody
whose heart is true

1885
01:44:53,654 --> 01:44:55,956
And best of all you're
nutty, nutty, nutty for me

1886
01:44:55,956 --> 01:44:58,158
Nutty, nutty, nutty
my love for you

1887
01:44:58,158 --> 01:45:00,560
I can't believe
my dreams come true

1888
01:45:00,560 --> 01:45:02,696
I’ve finally found somebody
whose heart is true

1889
01:45:02,696 --> 01:45:05,608
And best of all you're
nutty, nutty, nutty for me