1
00:00:33,287 --> 00:00:36,581
Anyway, to cut a long story short,
2
00:00:36,582 --> 00:00:39,106
I decided to kill myself.
3
00:00:40,586 --> 00:00:42,962
That's the trouble with
suicides, I've learnt.
4
00:00:42,963 --> 00:00:45,047
You can't cut the long story short,
5
00:00:45,048 --> 00:00:49,234
because it's the long story
that people are interested in.
6
00:00:49,261 --> 00:00:50,720
Especially if you're me,
7
00:00:50,721 --> 00:00:53,473
which, regrettably, I was
8
00:00:53,474 --> 00:00:55,850
and still am to this day.
9
00:00:55,851 --> 00:01:00,938
So, forgive me if you already
knew this, but I'm Martin Sharp,
10
00:01:00,939 --> 00:01:02,607
the man who had everything.
11
00:01:02,608 --> 00:01:07,111
One wife, two children, three dogs,
at least four People's Choice awards,
12
00:01:07,112 --> 00:01:12,057
and five mornings a week on the most
successful breakfast show in Britain.
13
00:01:12,326 --> 00:01:15,847
Huh, they were even
offering me Mondays off.
14
00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:18,289
So far, so good.
15
00:01:18,290 --> 00:01:23,187
I had reached middle age
unscathed, with money in the bank.
16
00:01:23,879 --> 00:01:29,258
Until I met Susie Jenkins at a
launch for a new men's moisturiser.
17
00:01:29,259 --> 00:01:31,969
- Happy New Year, mate.
- All I can say in my defence, Your Honour,
18
00:01:31,970 --> 00:01:34,847
is that she looked 25 to me.
19
00:01:34,848 --> 00:01:36,780
But she wasn't.
20
00:01:37,601 --> 00:01:39,644
Cue, in chronological order,
21
00:01:39,645 --> 00:01:43,314
tabloid frenzy, a short
prison sentence, divorce,
22
00:01:43,315 --> 00:01:46,836
disgrace, demolition.
23
00:01:46,860 --> 00:01:49,487
Doors closing.
24
00:01:49,488 --> 00:01:52,740
New Year's Eve is supposed
to be a pause for breath,
25
00:01:52,741 --> 00:01:54,742
a punctuation mark.
26
00:01:54,743 --> 00:01:57,537
Well, I had come to a full stop.
27
00:01:57,538 --> 00:01:58,746
Really.
28
00:01:58,747 --> 00:02:02,767
Why wouldn't I want to throw myself
off the top of a tall building?
29
00:03:23,999 --> 00:03:26,642
Oh! Oh!
30
00:03:45,104 --> 00:03:47,166
Excuse me.
31
00:03:47,189 --> 00:03:49,334
Excuse me.
32
00:03:51,193 --> 00:03:52,568
Hi.
33
00:03:52,569 --> 00:03:56,755
Um, I'm not entirely sure
how to phrase this, but...
34
00:03:57,658 --> 00:03:59,720
Are you going to be long?
35
00:03:59,868 --> 00:04:03,722
- What?
- I wasn't sure whether to wait my turn, or...
36
00:04:03,872 --> 00:04:07,773
I hadn't considered the wire. I'd
really like to borrow your ladder.
37
00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:10,711
Maybe I should
just wait. I'll wait.
38
00:04:10,712 --> 00:04:12,046
Are you just going to
stand there and watch?
39
00:04:12,047 --> 00:04:16,384
No. No, of course. You'll be wanting
to do it on your own, I'd imagine.
40
00:04:16,385 --> 00:04:18,302
You imagine right.
41
00:04:18,303 --> 00:04:20,847
I'll go there.
42
00:04:20,848 --> 00:04:22,613
All right.
43
00:04:25,727 --> 00:04:28,419
I'll give you a shout
on the way down.
44
00:04:28,856 --> 00:04:30,621
Right.
45
00:04:40,159 --> 00:04:42,091
Oh, jeez!
46
00:04:53,630 --> 00:04:55,396
I can't.
47
00:04:55,716 --> 00:04:57,778
Maybe you should go first.
48
00:04:58,051 --> 00:05:00,470
I would want to be on my own.
49
00:05:00,471 --> 00:05:03,162
- Completely.
- Understood.
50
00:05:03,682 --> 00:05:07,333
Twenty minutes, then
I want my spot back.
51
00:05:09,605 --> 00:05:11,514
- Right.
- OK.
52
00:05:17,196 --> 00:05:19,388
- Ooh!
- Oh!
53
00:05:33,504 --> 00:05:35,436
Maureen.
54
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,236
Martin.
55
00:05:39,635 --> 00:05:41,567
Are you from...
56
00:05:41,595 --> 00:05:45,765
- Oh, I... I recognise your face.
- Oh, do you?
57
00:05:45,766 --> 00:05:48,017
Were you married to
someone in a pop group?
58
00:05:48,018 --> 00:05:49,783
No.
59
00:05:50,229 --> 00:05:53,815
- Were you on TV?
- Maureen, perhaps this is not
60
00:05:53,816 --> 00:05:56,091
the best time to talk about this.
61
00:06:04,618 --> 00:06:06,619
- Out of my way, fuckers!
- No, stop, stop!
62
00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:07,829
No! No!
63
00:06:07,830 --> 00:06:10,706
- Maureen, a bit of help?
- Who the fuck are you?
64
00:06:10,707 --> 00:06:12,959
- What do you want me to do?
- Sit on her legs.
65
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,232
You're getting a thrill out of
this, aren't you, you pervert?
66
00:06:17,047 --> 00:06:18,673
- Oh, my God.
- What?
67
00:06:18,674 --> 00:06:21,926
You're Martin Sharp. You
are a pervert, officially!
68
00:06:21,927 --> 00:06:25,721
That's it! Rise and Shine
with Martin and Penny!
69
00:06:25,722 --> 00:06:28,496
Just let me go...
70
00:06:31,228 --> 00:06:33,836
- No, just...
- Wait!
71
00:06:39,027 --> 00:06:40,841
Hi.
72
00:06:41,447 --> 00:06:43,212
Erm...
73
00:06:44,241 --> 00:06:47,762
Any of you guys order a pizza?
74
00:06:50,122 --> 00:06:52,979
Well, shall we do introductions?
75
00:06:54,543 --> 00:06:56,557
I'm Jess.
76
00:06:56,670 --> 00:06:59,064
Everyone calls me Jess.
77
00:07:00,132 --> 00:07:02,740
I... I'm Maureen.
78
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:05,428
- I'm, uh... I'm JJ.
- I'm...
79
00:07:05,429 --> 00:07:06,804
- Martin Sharp.
- Yes.
80
00:07:06,805 --> 00:07:10,160
It's very exciting to have a
celebrity in our suicidal midst.
81
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:11,976
- This feels wrong.
- Mmm.
82
00:07:11,977 --> 00:07:15,167
All right, well, we could just
do a "one, two, three, jump!"
83
00:07:18,984 --> 00:07:21,212
Whoa!
84
00:07:25,282 --> 00:07:28,493
I wouldn't have minded if it had
been the proverbial cry for help,
85
00:07:28,494 --> 00:07:32,205
but, believe me, you don't cart
a ladder up 15 flights of stairs
86
00:07:32,206 --> 00:07:36,167
on a freezing cold New Year's
Eve unless you're serious.
87
00:07:36,168 --> 00:07:37,933
Nice to meet you.
88
00:07:39,004 --> 00:07:43,237
It was just another debacle.
Another cock-up.
89
00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:45,843
I'd have believed you if you'd
told me half an hour before
90
00:07:45,844 --> 00:07:48,221
that I'd end up on my car,
91
00:07:48,222 --> 00:07:50,201
but not in it.
92
00:07:56,897 --> 00:07:59,982
And I absolutely knew, with
every fibre of my being,
93
00:07:59,983 --> 00:08:03,802
that I wouldn't be seeing any of
those freaks and misfits again.
94
00:08:04,238 --> 00:08:06,114
I didn't know what they
were doing up there.
95
00:08:06,115 --> 00:08:09,090
And I didn't want to find
out, thank you very much.
96
00:08:09,118 --> 00:08:11,429
I had no interest whatsoever.
97
00:08:15,833 --> 00:08:17,834
Oh, fuck.
98
00:08:17,835 --> 00:08:20,044
Do I regret stopping
to pick her up?
99
00:08:20,045 --> 00:08:23,697
Well, that really is along story.
100
00:08:27,302 --> 00:08:29,637
- Want a lift?
- No, no.
101
00:08:29,638 --> 00:08:33,266
The bus will be along
in 15 minutes.
102
00:08:33,267 --> 00:08:35,495
Get in the car, Maureen.
103
00:08:39,189 --> 00:08:40,954
Oh!
104
00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:50,217
I did like your television show.
105
00:09:21,398 --> 00:09:25,151
- What are you doing?
- Aw, it's a bit early for a reunion, isn't it?
106
00:09:25,152 --> 00:09:28,092
Get in the car.
We're taking you home.
107
00:09:38,499 --> 00:09:40,643
So this is...
108
00:09:42,044 --> 00:09:43,857
Jolly.
109
00:09:44,129 --> 00:09:46,108
OK.
110
00:09:46,465 --> 00:09:47,673
One word answers.
111
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,258
Everyone has one word to explain
112
00:09:49,259 --> 00:09:50,968
why they were up on the
roof in the first place.
113
00:09:50,969 --> 00:09:54,972
For example, Martin might say
114
00:09:54,973 --> 00:09:57,058
- notoriety.
- Mmm-hmm.
115
00:09:57,059 --> 00:10:00,353
- Maureen might say loneliness.
- I'm not lonely.
116
00:10:00,354 --> 00:10:03,397
- Tell that to your cats.
- I don't have cats.
117
00:10:03,398 --> 00:10:05,792
I was up there because I felt...
118
00:10:06,485 --> 00:10:08,194
- Helpless.
- Helpless?
119
00:10:08,195 --> 00:10:09,445
That's a very good adjective.
120
00:10:09,446 --> 00:10:12,824
Are we not fitting into your
pre-ordained boxes, Jess?
121
00:10:12,825 --> 00:10:15,993
Actually, you fill your
one marvellously, Martin.
122
00:10:15,994 --> 00:10:18,222
Was prison fun?
123
00:10:18,455 --> 00:10:22,107
You really believe you have an
answer for everything, don't you?
124
00:10:22,292 --> 00:10:25,878
I really believe that you
are a miserable bastard.
125
00:10:25,879 --> 00:10:29,674
Actually, right now, a miserable
bastard is exactly what I am.
126
00:10:29,675 --> 00:10:31,737
Have I not been hiding it well?
127
00:10:31,927 --> 00:10:33,886
- Pizza boy.
- JJ.
128
00:10:33,887 --> 00:10:36,180
Why might pizza boy want to die?
129
00:10:36,181 --> 00:10:39,100
What would be your reason, Jess?
130
00:10:39,101 --> 00:10:42,186
My reason would be love.
131
00:10:42,187 --> 00:10:45,648
Chas. Chas the dickhead.
He spurned me.
132
00:10:45,649 --> 00:10:47,758
I'm a spurned woman.
133
00:10:48,110 --> 00:10:49,923
Cancer.
134
00:10:51,071 --> 00:10:54,510
I was up there because
I have cancer.
135
00:10:54,742 --> 00:10:56,826
I have inoperable cancer.
136
00:10:56,827 --> 00:10:58,911
We have a winner.
137
00:10:58,912 --> 00:11:00,496
That's fucking brilliant.
138
00:11:00,497 --> 00:11:03,624
Very impressed. Is it
an embarrassing cancer?
139
00:11:03,625 --> 00:11:05,438
Brain.
140
00:11:05,919 --> 00:11:07,815
CCR.
141
00:11:07,838 --> 00:11:10,298
- I'm sorry, JJ.
- Yeah.
142
00:11:10,299 --> 00:11:12,741
I think colon would
have been better.
143
00:11:13,594 --> 00:11:15,503
Ooh, we're here.
144
00:11:19,475 --> 00:11:23,394
What, here? You live here?
145
00:11:23,395 --> 00:11:26,230
No, but Chas is likely to be here
146
00:11:26,231 --> 00:11:29,800
and I've got a couple of
things I want to say to him.
147
00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:34,072
Good luck with your next attempt.
See you in the afterlife.
148
00:11:34,073 --> 00:11:35,886
Yep, good night.
149
00:11:51,632 --> 00:11:54,074
Unhappy little thing, isn't she?
150
00:11:54,718 --> 00:11:56,827
I should have known.
151
00:11:57,304 --> 00:11:59,639
The most popular place
in London for suicides
152
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,058
on the most popular
night for suicides.
153
00:12:02,059 --> 00:12:03,643
I should have known.
154
00:12:03,644 --> 00:12:06,979
- I wouldn't be alone.
- I don't know why she thought I have cats.
155
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:10,501
And she certainly
swears too much, but...
156
00:12:13,195 --> 00:12:15,363
Go on, Maureen, just say it.
157
00:12:15,364 --> 00:12:18,007
I just, um...
158
00:12:19,326 --> 00:12:21,471
Should she be alone?
159
00:12:36,969 --> 00:12:38,177
Right.
160
00:12:38,178 --> 00:12:41,305
Uh, Martin, you, uh,
you go that way.
161
00:12:41,306 --> 00:12:43,224
- I'll go... I'll go this way.
- No, no, no. I can't do this...
162
00:12:43,225 --> 00:12:46,102
What else are we gonna do?
Hey, what else are we gonna do?
163
00:12:46,103 --> 00:12:47,728
And, Maureen, uh...
164
00:12:47,729 --> 00:12:49,814
You take... You take the bathrooms.
165
00:12:49,815 --> 00:12:52,791
The bathrooms. Bathrooms? OK, go.
166
00:12:59,241 --> 00:13:02,466
I'm looking for a girl
called Jess. Jess?
167
00:13:09,126 --> 00:13:13,110
I'm looking... I'm looking for
a girl called Jess. Jess?
168
00:13:37,613 --> 00:13:42,427
- Hi. I'm looking for a...
- Hi.
169
00:13:43,077 --> 00:13:45,269
- I'm looking for a...
- Hi.
170
00:13:45,370 --> 00:13:49,390
I'm looking for a girl... Jess.
171
00:13:57,508 --> 00:13:59,008
Good.
172
00:13:59,009 --> 00:14:02,281
Great. Perfect.
173
00:14:04,389 --> 00:14:07,183
17, 16,
174
00:14:07,184 --> 00:14:10,103
15,14.
175
00:14:10,104 --> 00:14:13,022
13,12.
176
00:14:13,023 --> 00:14:15,483
11,10.
177
00:14:15,484 --> 00:14:17,693
Nine, eight,
178
00:14:17,694 --> 00:14:19,946
seven, six,
179
00:14:19,947 --> 00:14:22,031
five, four,
180
00:14:22,032 --> 00:14:24,992
three, two, one!
181
00:14:24,993 --> 00:14:27,934
Happy New Year!
182
00:14:56,900 --> 00:15:00,111
- Hi.
- Uh...
183
00:15:00,112 --> 00:15:03,030
- You hiding, too, are you?
- Yeah.
184
00:15:03,031 --> 00:15:04,949
I've... I've taken some pills.
185
00:15:04,950 --> 00:15:07,095
It's all good.
186
00:15:07,494 --> 00:15:10,600
- What are you hiding from?
- Oh, you know...
187
00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:14,041
Humans. Humanity, life. You?
188
00:15:14,042 --> 00:15:15,710
The nutter who's trying to kill me.
189
00:15:15,711 --> 00:15:17,712
Your reason's better
than mine, then.
190
00:15:17,713 --> 00:15:20,131
And where is this nutter?
191
00:15:20,132 --> 00:15:22,443
- She's everywhere.
- Oh.
192
00:15:22,676 --> 00:15:27,054
- Godlike, is she?
- I was just hoping I was having a bad pill.
193
00:15:27,055 --> 00:15:31,934
Um, but she... She's not supposed to be
here and I'm pretty sure I've just seen her.
194
00:15:31,935 --> 00:15:34,812
I'm pretty sure I've seen
you on breakfast TV.
195
00:15:34,813 --> 00:15:38,316
So... Maybe I'm actually
having a good pill and...
196
00:15:38,317 --> 00:15:39,984
You're Chas, aren't you?
197
00:15:39,985 --> 00:15:43,946
- How do you know that?
- I'm here with the... nutter.
198
00:15:43,947 --> 00:15:48,117
Chas! Chas, Chas, Chas!
Wait. Listen to me. Listen.
199
00:15:48,118 --> 00:15:50,620
Let's just go and
find her together, eh?
200
00:15:50,621 --> 00:15:51,913
I mean, what's the
worst that can happen?
201
00:15:51,914 --> 00:15:55,583
Eh, she tried to kill me twice,
got me... Got me arrested once.
202
00:15:55,584 --> 00:15:59,754
Mmm, I'm banned from three pubs,
two clubs and... And a cinema.
203
00:15:59,755 --> 00:16:02,048
- OK.
- Just let me leave quietly.
204
00:16:02,049 --> 00:16:05,051
- All right. OK.
- I've done nothing wrong.
205
00:16:05,052 --> 00:16:06,260
Nothing wrong?
206
00:16:06,261 --> 00:16:09,555
Taking her to bed! Nothing wrong?
207
00:16:09,556 --> 00:16:12,225
Where is she? Where's Jess?
We need to find her.
208
00:16:12,226 --> 00:16:14,435
- You need to talk to her.
- She won't talk.
209
00:16:14,436 --> 00:16:16,354
She'll just chase me
with a bread knife.
210
00:16:16,355 --> 00:16:19,565
Oh, tonight she was prepared to end her
life because of what you did to her.
211
00:16:19,566 --> 00:16:21,025
- Maureen, don't.
- What?
212
00:16:21,026 --> 00:16:24,070
Yeah, that's where we met her,
at the top of a tower block.
213
00:16:24,071 --> 00:16:25,905
- Preparing to...
- What?
214
00:16:25,906 --> 00:16:30,009
Hey! Hey, it's Jess. Come on.
215
00:16:31,036 --> 00:16:32,578
- How's she doing?
- Ready?
216
00:16:32,579 --> 00:16:34,580
- Hey, Jess.
- Do you know what she took?
217
00:16:34,581 --> 00:16:36,833
I don't know. Drugs, alcohol.
You know, the usual.
218
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:39,836
- Are you her father? Next of kin?
- No, I'm not. No, no, no, I'm not.
219
00:16:39,837 --> 00:16:42,922
- I need to know her name.
- I only, uh... She's called Jess.
220
00:16:42,923 --> 00:16:46,300
- Sir, I need her full name.
- None of us knew her before tonight.
221
00:16:46,301 --> 00:16:48,446
You need to wait here.
222
00:16:49,012 --> 00:16:52,932
- She's got no identification on her, no nothing.
- Yeah, well,
223
00:16:52,933 --> 00:16:55,309
she probably didn't want to
make identification easy.
224
00:16:55,310 --> 00:16:57,979
She likes things,
you know, difficult.
225
00:16:57,980 --> 00:17:01,465
Hmm, hospitals... Not a fan.
226
00:17:01,817 --> 00:17:03,879
Good drugs, though.
227
00:17:04,445 --> 00:17:06,210
Mmm!
228
00:17:52,409 --> 00:17:54,118
You late for something?
229
00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:55,745
I just
230
00:17:55,746 --> 00:17:59,082
need to make sure I'm home to
make Matty some breakfast.
231
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:01,560
- Matty?
- My son.
232
00:18:01,585 --> 00:18:04,193
- You have a son?
- Yes.
233
00:18:05,339 --> 00:18:08,833
His breakfast is quite complicated.
234
00:18:11,261 --> 00:18:13,276
I don't, er...
235
00:18:13,388 --> 00:18:17,975
Look, if I... If I'm not going to die
tonight, it's important that he...
236
00:18:17,976 --> 00:18:21,581
He doesn't know anything
that happened...
237
00:18:21,605 --> 00:18:23,750
Here she comes.
238
00:18:26,819 --> 00:18:29,094
Oh, boy.
239
00:18:30,531 --> 00:18:32,344
Uh...
240
00:18:32,449 --> 00:18:34,214
OK.
241
00:18:34,284 --> 00:18:37,787
I've just got a few
things to clarify.
242
00:18:37,788 --> 00:18:39,601
Uh, number one,
243
00:18:39,748 --> 00:18:42,917
my gown's open-backed, 'cos
they've stolen my clothes,
244
00:18:42,918 --> 00:18:45,878
so I'm just gonna do a twirl for you right
now and you can have a look at my arse.
245
00:18:45,879 --> 00:18:47,880
Just once. It's not
my best feature,
246
00:18:47,881 --> 00:18:51,801
but that's something that you'll probably
find out the more we get to know one another.
247
00:18:51,802 --> 00:18:55,763
Uh, number two, it... It really...
248
00:18:55,764 --> 00:18:58,391
It wasn't an overdose,
it was just an accident.
249
00:18:58,392 --> 00:19:01,436
- Jess...
- Honestly. I just... I took all these pills
250
00:19:01,437 --> 00:19:05,106
and then... And then I took some more.
But it was... It was just for fun.
251
00:19:05,107 --> 00:19:07,275
I'd never kill myself
by taking pills.
252
00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:09,777
I'd probably do
something really cool,
253
00:19:09,778 --> 00:19:13,264
like jumping off the
top of a tower block.
254
00:19:13,407 --> 00:19:15,658
Jess, we were worried.
255
00:19:15,659 --> 00:19:17,618
Was I on number three? Erm...
256
00:19:17,619 --> 00:19:21,224
I think I was on number four.
I just wanted to say,
257
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:23,499
thank you so much for caring,
258
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:26,461
because I really, um...
I really, really appreciate it.
259
00:19:26,462 --> 00:19:30,446
He was worried. I was trying to work
out what we were still doing here.
260
00:19:32,426 --> 00:19:36,512
Number five. I think I was on
number f... something... six...
261
00:19:36,513 --> 00:19:37,638
Fuck.
262
00:19:37,639 --> 00:19:39,932
Is... is it just me?
Because it's...
263
00:19:39,933 --> 00:19:44,020
It's really fucking
cold out here, guys.
264
00:19:44,021 --> 00:19:45,938
It's really cold.
265
00:19:45,939 --> 00:19:48,796
Come here. Come here now.
266
00:19:50,736 --> 00:19:53,842
- Come on in. Come on.
- Yes. Hmm?
267
00:20:09,463 --> 00:20:11,339
Thanks.
268
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,188
Psst.
269
00:20:13,383 --> 00:20:15,149
Hmm.
270
00:20:17,179 --> 00:20:20,932
When is the next date after New Year's
Eve when everybody kills themselves?
271
00:20:20,933 --> 00:20:23,624
- Why?
- Valentine's Day.
272
00:20:24,269 --> 00:20:27,078
That's six weeks away.
273
00:20:29,233 --> 00:20:30,650
OK, here's the deal.
274
00:20:30,651 --> 00:20:33,569
Nobody kills themselves until then.
275
00:20:33,570 --> 00:20:34,946
Why?
276
00:20:34,947 --> 00:20:36,406
I mean, why would
we want to do that?
277
00:20:36,407 --> 00:20:40,284
Why would we not want to kill ourselves
if and when and how we want, eh?
278
00:20:40,285 --> 00:20:41,994
Come on, what's the alternative?
279
00:20:41,995 --> 00:20:45,123
It's some sort of
race to the finish.
280
00:20:45,124 --> 00:20:49,127
It's me checking the
obituaries every week
281
00:20:49,128 --> 00:20:51,838
to see if Martin Sharp is dead.
282
00:20:51,839 --> 00:20:55,758
No of fence, guys, but I don't
think your deaths would
283
00:20:55,759 --> 00:20:57,969
really make the papers.
284
00:20:57,970 --> 00:21:00,743
Come on, it's six weeks.
285
00:21:01,306 --> 00:21:03,015
It's not such a ridiculous idea.
286
00:21:03,016 --> 00:21:05,873
Yes, Maureen. Has
anybody got a pen?
287
00:21:05,894 --> 00:21:09,119
- Can I have some paper as well?
- Paper.
288
00:21:09,731 --> 00:21:11,524
Great. Thanks.
289
00:21:11,525 --> 00:21:16,303
"The undersigned do hereby promise
290
00:21:16,321 --> 00:21:19,546
"not to kill themselves
291
00:21:19,783 --> 00:21:22,702
"before Valentine's Day."
292
00:21:22,703 --> 00:21:25,892
Maureen, sign just
wherever you like.
293
00:21:30,002 --> 00:21:31,850
Pizza boy.
294
00:21:33,172 --> 00:21:36,527
- But it's...
- You're dying anyway, hmm?
295
00:21:46,810 --> 00:21:49,169
Martin Sharp.
296
00:21:49,688 --> 00:21:51,702
Life-saver.
297
00:21:51,982 --> 00:21:53,996
Superman.
298
00:21:55,944 --> 00:21:57,862
Six weeks, Martin.
299
00:21:57,863 --> 00:22:02,760
We'll all push you off the top
ourselves if it makes any difference.
300
00:22:03,243 --> 00:22:05,328
It could be a little
Valentine's Day treat.
301
00:22:05,329 --> 00:22:08,731
I'm pretty sure we're all
going to live to regret this.
302
00:22:14,088 --> 00:22:16,861
Guys, look.
303
00:22:20,052 --> 00:22:22,743
So, this is a new year, then.
304
00:22:24,306 --> 00:22:27,364
Yeah.
305
00:22:30,896 --> 00:22:33,648
Hang on. Maureen, just a
fucking question here.
306
00:22:33,649 --> 00:22:35,400
Have we just written our
pact on the back of your
307
00:22:35,401 --> 00:22:37,629
- suicide note?
- Oh...
308
00:22:37,945 --> 00:22:40,137
Yes, there is that.
309
00:23:08,559 --> 00:23:11,102
My mum always likes to repeat
this story of me as a kid
310
00:23:11,103 --> 00:23:13,688
being asked what I wanted
to be when I grew up.
311
00:23:13,689 --> 00:23:17,150
I always used to say, "Invisible."
312
00:23:17,151 --> 00:23:21,419
I don't know quite what prompted it,
but the thought of it stuck with me.
313
00:23:21,530 --> 00:23:22,739
It was only later...
314
00:23:22,740 --> 00:23:27,637
that I found out that invisibility is,
in fact, a technical possibility.
315
00:23:28,162 --> 00:23:30,955
It was in this book that my
sister stole from the library
316
00:23:30,956 --> 00:23:33,207
and I stole from my sister.
317
00:23:33,208 --> 00:23:35,334
I followed her into crime.
318
00:23:35,335 --> 00:23:37,295
Though she was better
at it than me.
319
00:23:37,296 --> 00:23:39,380
She always sort of glowed innocence
320
00:23:39,381 --> 00:23:44,635
whereas I, to this day,
just sort of radiate guilt.
321
00:23:44,636 --> 00:23:46,679
Anyway, to be invisible is easy.
322
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,382
You just have to find a
way to diffract light.
323
00:23:50,559 --> 00:23:53,451
Whoa! You trying to
get yourself killed?
324
00:23:54,146 --> 00:23:58,046
I haven't managed it yet,
but I'm working on it.
325
00:23:58,066 --> 00:23:59,692
I didn't just follow him.
326
00:23:59,693 --> 00:24:01,402
I followed all of them.
327
00:24:01,403 --> 00:24:03,196
And it wasn't stalking.
328
00:24:03,197 --> 00:24:05,198
You stalk a deer in
order to kill it,
329
00:24:05,199 --> 00:24:08,367
mount it, stick it on your wall and
tell the story of how fucking brilliant
330
00:24:08,368 --> 00:24:09,911
you are with a shotgun.
331
00:24:09,912 --> 00:24:11,746
I didn't want to kill any of them.
332
00:24:11,747 --> 00:24:14,957
I certainly didn't have any
interest in mounting them.
333
00:24:14,958 --> 00:24:17,043
And I don't own a shotgun,
334
00:24:17,044 --> 00:24:18,669
though I'd like one.
335
00:24:18,670 --> 00:24:21,839
I just wanted to
check in, invisibly,
336
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,716
to check they were
sticking to the pact.
337
00:24:23,717 --> 00:24:25,218
That's not stalking.
338
00:24:25,219 --> 00:24:28,490
It's barely even espionage.
339
00:24:28,806 --> 00:24:30,473
OK.
340
00:24:30,474 --> 00:24:32,916
Now I know why you're ringing.
341
00:24:38,857 --> 00:24:41,548
Pink flamingos fly
north on Tuesday.
342
00:24:41,985 --> 00:24:43,111
Hello, Jess.
343
00:24:43,112 --> 00:24:44,821
This is a top spy location, Dad.
344
00:24:44,822 --> 00:24:47,382
It's hugely inconspicuous.
345
00:24:48,033 --> 00:24:49,700
Look, um...
346
00:24:49,701 --> 00:24:51,550
Where have you...?
347
00:24:51,995 --> 00:24:53,496
This is a situation.
348
00:24:53,497 --> 00:24:55,081
I've invited...
349
00:24:55,082 --> 00:24:57,458
A situation is what you're
referring to it as?
350
00:24:57,459 --> 00:24:58,876
How else would you refer to it?
351
00:24:58,877 --> 00:25:00,642
I don't know, Dad.
352
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,632
Well, you did what you did.
353
00:25:04,633 --> 00:25:06,509
Yeah, I tried to kill myself.
354
00:25:06,510 --> 00:25:08,803
Jess, please don't put
words in my mouth.
355
00:25:08,804 --> 00:25:09,929
This is hard enough.
356
00:25:09,930 --> 00:25:11,139
- Is it, Dad?
- Yes.
357
00:25:11,140 --> 00:25:13,558
Why are we doing this here?
Why can't we just do this at home?
358
00:25:13,559 --> 00:25:16,644
Because the press will be there
and I'm trying to protect you.
359
00:25:16,645 --> 00:25:20,773
Oh, yeah. Well, you've always been
really great at that, haven't you?
360
00:25:20,774 --> 00:25:23,651
- Jess...
- What the hell are you doing here?
361
00:25:23,652 --> 00:25:24,861
Uh...
362
00:25:24,862 --> 00:25:27,155
- I was invited.
- You were invited?
363
00:25:27,156 --> 00:25:29,615
Politician's daughter.
I was surprised.
364
00:25:29,616 --> 00:25:31,200
I called his agent.
I thought we should all talk.
365
00:25:31,201 --> 00:25:32,452
- You called his agent?
- Yeah.
366
00:25:32,453 --> 00:25:34,078
He was delighted.
367
00:25:34,079 --> 00:25:36,722
First call he'd had in awhile.
368
00:25:37,082 --> 00:25:39,625
Was it you... Who
went to the press?
369
00:25:39,626 --> 00:25:40,918
No!
370
00:25:40,919 --> 00:25:43,087
I've been trying to figure
it out myself, but...
371
00:25:43,088 --> 00:25:44,380
JJ?
372
00:25:44,381 --> 00:25:46,007
He's too shy.
373
00:25:46,008 --> 00:25:47,717
It's not Maureen.
374
00:25:47,718 --> 00:25:49,650
No, no.
375
00:25:49,803 --> 00:25:52,263
Hey, it was fucking Chas.
376
00:25:52,264 --> 00:25:53,890
Chas sold us.
377
00:25:53,891 --> 00:25:57,643
My ex-wife rang this morning,
wanting to know what I'd done.
378
00:25:57,644 --> 00:25:59,437
Asking me what she should
tell the children.
379
00:25:59,438 --> 00:26:00,605
Oh, I'm gonna fucking kill him.
380
00:26:00,606 --> 00:26:03,107
She told me I seem to be the
only person in the whole world
381
00:26:03,108 --> 00:26:04,817
that the press gets bang-on.
382
00:26:04,818 --> 00:26:08,112
If they say I've slept with a
15-year-old, I generally have.
383
00:26:08,113 --> 00:26:11,282
If they say I've contemplated
suicide, I generally have.
384
00:26:11,283 --> 00:26:14,804
Yes, I read about
you with the girl.
385
00:26:16,955 --> 00:26:18,873
You haven't... You two haven't...
386
00:26:18,874 --> 00:26:20,792
- You're asking whether we've slept together?
- Jesus, really?
387
00:26:20,793 --> 00:26:23,711
- You think I'd...
- Oh, Martin! At least I'm legal.
388
00:26:23,712 --> 00:26:26,923
Yeah, and I value our friendship
too much to complicate it.
389
00:26:26,924 --> 00:26:31,177
Do you plan to maintain your
relationship with Jess?
390
00:26:31,178 --> 00:26:33,554
Yeah, of course he will.
We're in a gang.
391
00:26:33,555 --> 00:26:35,389
- We're not in a gang.
- Yeah, you signed a pact.
392
00:26:35,390 --> 00:26:38,226
Ah, yes, of course, the
pact. How could I forget?
393
00:26:38,227 --> 00:26:41,368
Yeah, Jess and I are
friends for life now.
394
00:26:41,522 --> 00:26:44,148
Now, look, Martin,
395
00:26:44,149 --> 00:26:47,193
I'm sure I don't have to tell
someone with your media training
396
00:26:47,194 --> 00:26:49,028
that what we...
397
00:26:49,029 --> 00:26:52,407
What we have here is...
Is a media firestorm.
398
00:26:52,408 --> 00:26:57,370
Yes, gentlemen, this
is a media firestorm.
399
00:26:57,371 --> 00:26:59,580
- I'll leave you to it.
- Jess. Jess!
400
00:26:59,581 --> 00:27:01,416
Why don't you invite him
to our family therapy?
401
00:27:01,417 --> 00:27:05,211
You could do that. Why don't
you pay him to be you, Dad?
402
00:27:05,212 --> 00:27:08,104
Martin doesn't want my money.
403
00:27:10,300 --> 00:27:12,113
You don't, do you?
404
00:27:12,219 --> 00:27:15,277
Has anyone ever told you
you're a bit of an idiot?
405
00:27:15,597 --> 00:27:19,368
I'm a politician. That's
all they ever tell me.
406
00:27:21,812 --> 00:27:23,396
- All right.
- Yep.
407
00:27:23,397 --> 00:27:25,648
Yep. Good luck.
408
00:27:25,649 --> 00:27:27,462
Yep.
409
00:27:43,167 --> 00:27:46,169
This is the second tragedy
for the Crichton family
410
00:27:46,170 --> 00:27:50,381
after the disappearance of older
sister, Jennifer two years ago.
411
00:27:50,382 --> 00:27:53,301
Jennifer was never found,
and you have to wonder
412
00:27:53,302 --> 00:27:56,721
how Shadow Education Secretary
Chris Crichton will cope
413
00:27:56,722 --> 00:27:59,495
with this new strain upon him.
414
00:28:00,142 --> 00:28:02,491
- Come on, then.
- Well done, boys.
415
00:28:04,146 --> 00:28:05,855
♪ Tragedy
416
00:28:05,856 --> 00:28:09,543
♪ When the feeling's wrong and
you can't go on. It's tragedy
417
00:28:10,069 --> 00:28:13,863
♪ When the morning cries and you
don't know why. It's hard to bear
418
00:28:13,864 --> 00:28:18,643
♪ With no one to love you
you're going nowhere
419
00:28:20,746 --> 00:28:22,163
♪ Tragedy ♪
420
00:28:22,164 --> 00:28:24,012
Jess?
421
00:28:25,501 --> 00:28:27,479
Can I come in?
422
00:28:29,379 --> 00:28:31,442
Shall I come in, Jess?
423
00:28:41,809 --> 00:28:44,001
Where have you gone now?
424
00:28:50,609 --> 00:28:52,458
Jess?
425
00:30:18,030 --> 00:30:19,843
Hiya.
426
00:30:24,912 --> 00:30:26,725
Wow!
427
00:30:26,955 --> 00:30:28,970
This... This is Matty.
428
00:30:29,708 --> 00:30:32,418
- My son.
- No, I mean... I mean...
429
00:30:32,419 --> 00:30:34,921
Wow! You've just...
You've completely wowed me.
430
00:30:34,922 --> 00:30:37,340
- Jess.
- What does that mean, 'wow'?
431
00:30:37,341 --> 00:30:39,801
Like, wow, this is what
you've been hiding in here.
432
00:30:39,802 --> 00:30:42,409
- Jess, enough.
- Sorry.
433
00:30:43,097 --> 00:30:44,514
Sorry.
434
00:30:44,515 --> 00:30:46,933
I wasn't leaving him that night.
435
00:30:46,934 --> 00:30:48,101
There was...
436
00:30:48,102 --> 00:30:50,394
Maureen, no one's
accusing you of anything.
437
00:30:50,395 --> 00:30:53,272
Social services would have been
forced to pay for proper care.
438
00:30:53,273 --> 00:30:57,756
I mean, the standard of care
they can provide, it's better.
439
00:30:58,320 --> 00:30:59,987
And I don't hide him.
440
00:30:59,988 --> 00:31:02,300
I've never hidden him, never.
441
00:31:02,324 --> 00:31:04,992
Can we get back to the
matter in hand, hmm?
442
00:31:04,993 --> 00:31:08,287
Yeah, we're all here to
figure out how to get them to
443
00:31:08,288 --> 00:31:10,039
leave us all alone.
444
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,709
OK, I had three of them
call my cell today.
445
00:31:13,710 --> 00:31:15,336
How'd they even get my number?
446
00:31:15,337 --> 00:31:17,964
Yeah, how did Chas
even remember you?
447
00:31:17,965 --> 00:31:20,174
Hey, wait. Is Chas behind this?
448
00:31:20,175 --> 00:31:21,676
Yeah, I mean, you're quite cute
449
00:31:21,677 --> 00:31:23,386
but you're infinitely forgettable.
450
00:31:23,387 --> 00:31:25,235
They won't...
451
00:31:25,639 --> 00:31:27,181
Leave us alone.
452
00:31:27,182 --> 00:31:29,308
They'll find out where you
live, where Maureen lives.
453
00:31:29,309 --> 00:31:31,352
- What, they'll be here?
- So, I've been...
454
00:31:31,353 --> 00:31:33,312
I've been thinking.
455
00:31:33,313 --> 00:31:36,482
What if we shift the goal posts?
456
00:31:36,483 --> 00:31:38,901
- Goal posts?
- Yeah, make it our story, not theirs.
457
00:31:38,902 --> 00:31:42,655
I mean, there's even the possibility
that we might be able to make some
458
00:31:42,656 --> 00:31:44,073
money out of it.
459
00:31:44,074 --> 00:31:45,450
- Money?
- Yeah, money.
460
00:31:45,451 --> 00:31:46,993
That would be good for
Matty, wouldn't it?
461
00:31:46,994 --> 00:31:49,620
I'm sure JJ would like
a break from pizzas.
462
00:31:49,621 --> 00:31:51,748
And as an unemployed,
disgraced talk show host,
463
00:31:51,749 --> 00:31:53,040
I could certainly do with it.
464
00:31:53,041 --> 00:31:55,084
I don't... I don't want
Matty in the papers.
465
00:31:55,085 --> 00:31:57,609
We... We can't stop that.
466
00:31:58,338 --> 00:32:03,426
But, at least, this way we
won't lose out entirely.
467
00:32:03,427 --> 00:32:05,303
By telling our story...
468
00:32:05,304 --> 00:32:07,388
What... What story?
469
00:32:07,389 --> 00:32:10,141
That we went up, then we
came back down again.
470
00:32:10,142 --> 00:32:12,894
They've sold newspapers
off our backs.
471
00:32:12,895 --> 00:32:16,499
- Isn't it time we got something out of it?
- I...
472
00:32:19,068 --> 00:32:22,528
- Yes, OK.
- Good. Great.
473
00:32:22,529 --> 00:32:24,363
Yeah?
474
00:32:24,364 --> 00:32:26,949
- Well?
- Yeah, I mean, if you think it's...
475
00:32:26,950 --> 00:32:29,118
If you think it's right,
Martin, yeah, I'm in.
476
00:32:29,119 --> 00:32:30,661
I mean, I'm fine financially,
477
00:32:30,662 --> 00:32:32,872
'cos, you know, I've got
my dad to nick from.
478
00:32:32,873 --> 00:32:34,540
Oh.
479
00:32:34,541 --> 00:32:40,317
But if we were to make
the story a fun one...
480
00:32:56,522 --> 00:32:58,106
Let me tell you a story.
481
00:32:58,107 --> 00:33:00,418
We were up there...
482
00:33:00,901 --> 00:33:03,945
And we were ready to go
483
00:33:03,946 --> 00:33:08,049
and we felt this... presence.
484
00:33:08,117 --> 00:33:10,475
I would describe it...
485
00:33:11,829 --> 00:33:13,162
As a light.
486
00:33:13,163 --> 00:33:16,290
An ethereal glowing.
487
00:33:16,291 --> 00:33:18,140
It was an angel.
488
00:33:18,877 --> 00:33:20,837
We were visited by an angel.
489
00:33:20,838 --> 00:33:23,694
And it looked like...
Like Matt Damon.
490
00:33:24,133 --> 00:33:25,299
Matt Damon.
491
00:33:25,300 --> 00:33:29,783
Oh, fuck it, yeah.
I'm... I'm with her.
492
00:33:30,180 --> 00:33:32,348
- He looked like Matt Damon.
- Who's Matt Damon?
493
00:33:32,349 --> 00:33:36,519
No, no, it wasn't really a
physical angel. It was more of a...
494
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,479
Is that what Jess told you?
What else did she say?
495
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:41,399
And he was naked and he said,
496
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,694
he literally decreed, "Thou
shalt not die tonight."
497
00:33:44,695 --> 00:33:46,696
I mean, this is Matt
Damon, the naked angel.
498
00:33:46,697 --> 00:33:49,741
- What?
- Maybe we shouldn't write all of this down.
499
00:33:49,742 --> 00:33:52,702
Can I talk to your editor?
Used to be a good mate of mine.
500
00:33:52,703 --> 00:33:54,895
Oh, an actor.
501
00:33:55,205 --> 00:33:56,414
What films has he been in?
502
00:33:56,415 --> 00:33:58,583
You're not actually gonna
print this, are you?
503
00:33:58,584 --> 00:34:01,773
Yeah. Yeah, no, that's how it went.
504
00:34:05,883 --> 00:34:08,490
I had an interesting
thing happen today.
505
00:34:08,594 --> 00:34:11,262
- Did you?
- Let me guess.
506
00:34:11,263 --> 00:34:15,911
Your second daughter humiliated you
on the pages of the national press?
507
00:34:17,686 --> 00:34:20,605
Actually, no. I was in
the Members' Bar...
508
00:34:20,606 --> 00:34:22,106
And somebody came up
to you and they said,
509
00:34:22,107 --> 00:34:28,084
"Chris, was that your daughter on
the pages of the national press?"
510
00:34:28,530 --> 00:34:31,199
People have laughed
at me for a long time,
511
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:36,180
but I did prefer it when
they didn't laugh at you.
512
00:34:38,582 --> 00:34:40,691
An angel.
513
00:34:40,751 --> 00:34:44,045
You told them you saw an angel.
514
00:34:44,046 --> 00:34:46,631
- Chris.
- And did it look like Jennifer?
515
00:34:46,632 --> 00:34:48,907
Is that what you were going to say?
516
00:34:51,095 --> 00:34:52,860
No.
517
00:34:55,390 --> 00:34:57,934
No, Dad, I...
518
00:34:57,935 --> 00:35:00,708
I didn't tell them it
looked like Jennifer.
519
00:35:05,609 --> 00:35:08,715
I told them that it
looked like Matt Damon.
520
00:35:10,155 --> 00:35:11,781
Zoom in on camera two.
521
00:35:11,782 --> 00:35:15,517
Penny, you're on in
three, two, one.
522
00:35:15,661 --> 00:35:20,081
Many of us have been transfixed by
the story of the Topper House Four
523
00:35:20,082 --> 00:35:22,625
and the angel that visited them.
524
00:35:22,626 --> 00:35:25,169
And we are so lucky here on
Rise and Shine with Penny
525
00:35:25,170 --> 00:35:27,171
to have them with us
in the studio today.
526
00:35:27,172 --> 00:35:29,757
One of them certainly needs
no introduction. Martin.
527
00:35:29,758 --> 00:35:32,009
Martin Sharp, my old co-host.
528
00:35:32,010 --> 00:35:35,263
Penny, it's an honour to be back
on this old sofa again with you.
529
00:35:35,264 --> 00:35:37,265
And I'd really like to
take this opportunity
530
00:35:37,266 --> 00:35:40,726
to correct a few misconceptions
about this so-called angel...
531
00:35:40,727 --> 00:35:43,020
And we will absolutely have
time for that, Martin,
532
00:35:43,021 --> 00:35:45,523
but it would be remiss of me
not to begin the interview
533
00:35:45,524 --> 00:35:47,483
with a bit of background
on what's been happening
534
00:35:47,484 --> 00:35:49,759
to you in the last 12 months.
535
00:35:51,905 --> 00:35:53,489
Yes, well, um...
536
00:35:53,490 --> 00:35:57,034
Yes, well, Penny, currently I'm
juggling various job opportunities,
537
00:35:57,035 --> 00:35:59,560
concentrating on being a father.
538
00:35:59,580 --> 00:36:01,914
And, before that, I was in prison.
539
00:36:01,915 --> 00:36:04,375
But what we'd actually
like to talk to you about
540
00:36:04,376 --> 00:36:06,586
is what we allegedly
saw on the roof.
541
00:36:06,587 --> 00:36:09,213
And, of course, the reason
that you were in prison
542
00:36:09,214 --> 00:36:12,901
was for an inappropriate
relationship with an underage girl.
543
00:36:15,220 --> 00:36:17,013
- That's right, Penny.
- And this incident,
544
00:36:17,014 --> 00:36:19,599
this sex of fence, led you
to lose your job, your home,
545
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:24,145
your family and finally drove
you to suicidal feelings.
546
00:36:24,146 --> 00:36:25,313
That's right, Penny.
547
00:36:25,314 --> 00:36:28,503
Which is, of course, where...
548
00:36:28,650 --> 00:36:30,526
Where he met you lovely people.
549
00:36:30,527 --> 00:36:33,196
Yeah. Yeah, we, er...
We all met up there.
550
00:36:33,197 --> 00:36:36,407
And where you saw your angel
that looked like Matt Damon.
551
00:36:36,408 --> 00:36:38,701
- Tell me more.
- Hi. Sorry.
552
00:36:38,702 --> 00:36:42,163
It wasn't an angel. It was...
It was more of a light.
553
00:36:42,164 --> 00:36:43,873
We never agreed on an angel.
554
00:36:43,874 --> 00:36:45,333
Now, Jess.
555
00:36:45,334 --> 00:36:47,960
I really... Talk to the other
people before you come to me.
556
00:36:47,961 --> 00:36:49,670
We know you mostly
through your father,
557
00:36:49,671 --> 00:36:51,839
Shadow Education
Secretary, Chris Crichton.
558
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:53,841
You should probably talk
to JJ because he...
559
00:36:53,842 --> 00:36:55,760
He is really interesting.
560
00:36:55,761 --> 00:36:57,804
I'm sure he is.
561
00:36:57,805 --> 00:36:59,806
I'm sure you're all fascinating.
562
00:36:59,807 --> 00:37:02,558
But, Jess, our sympathies
lie particularly with you
563
00:37:02,559 --> 00:37:06,145
because of the devastating
disappearance of your sister, Jennifer.
564
00:37:06,146 --> 00:37:08,981
You should talk to Maureen.
565
00:37:08,982 --> 00:37:12,207
Um... Her son lives in a cage.
566
00:37:12,361 --> 00:37:14,755
But, Jess, let's focus on you.
567
00:37:15,322 --> 00:37:17,218
It's OK.
568
00:37:18,242 --> 00:37:20,055
Were you close?
569
00:37:20,494 --> 00:37:22,307
Penny.
570
00:37:22,371 --> 00:37:24,414
Why don't you ask someone
else a question?
571
00:37:24,415 --> 00:37:27,722
My old co-host still trying
to co-host me there.
572
00:37:28,043 --> 00:37:32,146
Jess, tell me, was that
what drove you up there?
573
00:37:32,172 --> 00:37:35,528
Jennifer's disappearance?
It must have been so painful.
574
00:37:36,385 --> 00:37:38,862
I can see you're getting upset.
575
00:37:39,847 --> 00:37:41,472
You must have felt so alone.
576
00:37:41,473 --> 00:37:44,851
I said, "Talk to Maureen", bitch!
577
00:37:44,852 --> 00:37:47,019
Many apologies. As you can see...
578
00:37:47,020 --> 00:37:48,813
Why didn't you fucking
listen to me?
579
00:37:48,814 --> 00:37:51,524
I told you to fucking listen to me!
580
00:37:51,525 --> 00:37:53,967
Jess! Jess, come back.
581
00:38:18,802 --> 00:38:20,947
- It's you.
- Hey.
582
00:38:21,096 --> 00:38:24,891
I was just checking to see
if you're... You're OK.
583
00:38:24,892 --> 00:38:26,392
Yeah.
584
00:38:26,393 --> 00:38:28,206
Never better, champ.
585
00:38:29,938 --> 00:38:32,747
That, er... That right?
586
00:38:36,195 --> 00:38:38,654
Are you gonna keep following me?
587
00:38:38,655 --> 00:38:40,573
Do you know where you're going?
588
00:38:40,574 --> 00:38:44,327
Yeah. I know where I'm going.
I'm going where I always go.
589
00:38:44,328 --> 00:38:46,141
Yeah?
590
00:38:48,999 --> 00:38:50,958
Can you walk beside
me, not behind me?
591
00:38:50,959 --> 00:38:53,437
'Cos my arse isn't my best feature.
592
00:38:53,962 --> 00:38:55,338
Yeah, you, er...
593
00:38:55,339 --> 00:38:57,401
You mentioned that.
594
00:39:01,595 --> 00:39:03,763
This is where she parked it.
595
00:39:03,764 --> 00:39:06,158
- Parked what?
- Mum's car.
596
00:39:06,266 --> 00:39:07,433
My car.
597
00:39:07,434 --> 00:39:10,920
Well, it was gonna be my car
when Jen went to university.
598
00:39:13,398 --> 00:39:15,461
Found the car.
599
00:39:15,776 --> 00:39:17,624
Didn't find her.
600
00:39:18,362 --> 00:39:20,756
You know, just... Just gone.
601
00:39:22,866 --> 00:39:25,759
Perhaps she learnt
how to be invisible.
602
00:39:26,620 --> 00:39:28,729
Must be tough.
603
00:39:29,832 --> 00:39:32,250
My dad organised this
nationwide search.
604
00:39:32,251 --> 00:39:34,752
He really, really got
into it, you know.
605
00:39:34,753 --> 00:39:36,566
Mum...
606
00:39:36,630 --> 00:39:39,772
From the beginning
just gave up hope.
607
00:39:43,637 --> 00:39:45,699
Anyway.
608
00:39:46,056 --> 00:39:48,284
At least I don't have cancer.
609
00:39:50,644 --> 00:39:52,409
Yeah.
610
00:39:53,272 --> 00:39:55,037
Yeah.
611
00:39:58,944 --> 00:40:01,279
You don't have cancer, do you?
612
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:03,045
What?
613
00:40:04,450 --> 00:40:06,534
I can see it. I can tell.
614
00:40:06,535 --> 00:40:10,079
If I look healthy, it's because of
the drug regimen I'm on right now.
615
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:11,956
I've never seen you
take a single pill.
616
00:40:11,957 --> 00:40:14,375
Well, the drug regimen
is pretty minimal.
617
00:40:14,376 --> 00:40:16,355
JJ.
618
00:40:16,628 --> 00:40:21,312
I'm a professional liar. You're
not even a competent one.
619
00:40:25,763 --> 00:40:28,723
It just... It just
came out, you know.
620
00:40:28,724 --> 00:40:34,120
And once it... came out,
I couldn't take it back, so...
621
00:40:36,982 --> 00:40:38,900
You were going to
jump, weren't you?
622
00:40:38,901 --> 00:40:41,027
You weren't just delivering pizzas
and then you got too polite?
623
00:40:41,028 --> 00:40:42,862
Yeah, I was...
624
00:40:42,863 --> 00:40:44,925
I was going to jump, yeah.
625
00:40:45,032 --> 00:40:46,824
Why?
626
00:40:46,825 --> 00:40:48,840
Why, er...
627
00:40:49,536 --> 00:40:52,345
It's a simple enough question, JJ.
628
00:40:53,332 --> 00:40:56,834
You're a paedophile, like Martin.
629
00:40:56,835 --> 00:40:58,419
Oh.
630
00:40:58,420 --> 00:41:00,630
What are the chances of that?
631
00:41:00,631 --> 00:41:05,885
Four suicidalists, one roof,
two of them paedophiles.
632
00:41:05,886 --> 00:41:08,054
That's practically a convention.
633
00:41:08,055 --> 00:41:10,890
Look, I know I
shouldn't have... lied.
634
00:41:10,891 --> 00:41:14,080
It's just, cancer seemed...
635
00:41:14,728 --> 00:41:16,660
easier.
636
00:41:17,356 --> 00:41:20,628
- You're a strange guy, JJ.
- Huh.
637
00:41:22,194 --> 00:41:23,361
Fuck it, I'm stranger.
638
00:41:23,362 --> 00:41:27,512
I like coming and hanging out at the
place where my sister disappeared.
639
00:41:30,786 --> 00:41:33,097
Hmm. Look.
640
00:41:33,288 --> 00:41:34,455
What?
641
00:41:34,456 --> 00:41:36,833
Swifts.
642
00:41:36,834 --> 00:41:39,642
You know my favourite
thing about swifts?
643
00:41:39,753 --> 00:41:42,046
They nest on the wing.
644
00:41:42,047 --> 00:41:44,774
They're born and then they're fed.
645
00:41:45,008 --> 00:41:46,884
And from the moment they
leave their birthplace,
646
00:41:46,885 --> 00:41:48,928
they don't come down for two
years until they're ready
647
00:41:48,929 --> 00:41:51,806
to create other baby swifts.
648
00:41:51,807 --> 00:41:54,082
Oh, my gosh.
649
00:41:56,061 --> 00:41:58,354
You're a birdwatcher.
650
00:41:58,355 --> 00:42:01,413
That's why you wanted
to kill yourself.
651
00:42:03,861 --> 00:42:06,404
No, no, I understand now.
652
00:42:06,405 --> 00:42:09,073
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, yeah.
653
00:42:09,074 --> 00:42:11,053
Good, good.
654
00:42:19,626 --> 00:42:21,475
One elephant.
655
00:42:22,171 --> 00:42:24,103
Two elephants.
656
00:42:24,882 --> 00:42:27,110
Three elephants.
657
00:42:28,135 --> 00:42:30,328
Four elephants.
658
00:42:30,721 --> 00:42:32,996
One elephant.
659
00:42:33,557 --> 00:42:35,666
Two elephants.
660
00:42:36,393 --> 00:42:39,001
Three eleph...
661
00:42:40,773 --> 00:42:43,399
My first band was called Gepetto.
662
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:47,236
We were a grunge band after
grunge had long been forgotten.
663
00:42:47,237 --> 00:42:50,509
Timing has never
been my strong suit.
664
00:42:50,908 --> 00:42:54,035
We came third in the Idaho
state Battle of the Bands.
665
00:42:54,036 --> 00:42:58,186
We got our pictures in the paper
and I was recognised in the mall.
666
00:42:58,832 --> 00:43:01,292
For me, that was fame.
667
00:43:01,293 --> 00:43:05,421
But fame like this, like
the Topper House Four...
668
00:43:05,422 --> 00:43:08,091
Suicide again, then, is it?
669
00:43:08,092 --> 00:43:09,717
Hi, Gladys.
670
00:43:09,718 --> 00:43:12,095
Those press still about?
671
00:43:12,096 --> 00:43:13,861
Yeah.
672
00:43:25,776 --> 00:43:28,694
In a mere three weeks,
we'd not only not died,
673
00:43:28,695 --> 00:43:31,364
but we'd been on the front
pages of all the tabloids
674
00:43:31,365 --> 00:43:36,411
and led many people to believe
again in the existence of angels,
675
00:43:36,412 --> 00:43:38,621
or, at least, Jess had.
676
00:43:38,622 --> 00:43:41,541
We even had questions asked
about us in Parliament,
677
00:43:41,542 --> 00:43:45,645
though that might have been
just to embarrass Jess' dad.
678
00:43:45,838 --> 00:43:48,673
It was Martin who
suggested getting away.
679
00:43:48,674 --> 00:43:51,175
He said we'd be like
Butch and Sundance.
680
00:43:51,176 --> 00:43:55,096
Jess reminded him that didn't
work out so well for them.
681
00:43:55,097 --> 00:43:57,014
But it seemed like a good idea.
682
00:43:57,015 --> 00:43:59,976
Get away and hope that
by the time we got back
683
00:43:59,977 --> 00:44:03,479
we'd be forgotten and the world
would be a kinder place.
684
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,065
To us, and for us.
685
00:44:06,066 --> 00:44:09,652
I wish I had thought life a
better option than death,
686
00:44:09,653 --> 00:44:13,823
but I didn't, and wishing
wasn't going to fix it.
687
00:44:13,824 --> 00:44:15,908
To quote one of Gepetto's songs,
688
00:44:15,909 --> 00:44:20,288
"I don't mind the pain,
it's the hope that kills me."
689
00:44:20,289 --> 00:44:22,915
Yeah, we were pretty deep.
690
00:44:22,916 --> 00:44:24,208
OK, fiver says one of us punches
691
00:44:24,209 --> 00:44:25,585
one of the others before
the end of the holiday.
692
00:44:25,586 --> 00:44:28,254
- Punches?
- Like kicks or slaps or tickles.
693
00:44:28,255 --> 00:44:30,339
One of us will use physical
violence against one of the others
694
00:44:30,340 --> 00:44:32,133
- before the week's out.
- OK.
695
00:44:32,134 --> 00:44:33,843
This holiday is going
to be a disaster.
696
00:44:33,844 --> 00:44:35,052
Oh, I hope so.
697
00:44:35,053 --> 00:44:36,971
So, who's looking
after Matty, Maureen?
698
00:44:36,972 --> 00:44:39,098
No one. She's just left
some food in the fridge
699
00:44:39,099 --> 00:44:41,707
and some wet wipes by the bed.
700
00:44:41,727 --> 00:44:43,686
I'm sure the break will do
you both the world of good.
701
00:44:43,687 --> 00:44:45,271
- Yeah, that's what Dr Stephens said.
- Yeah. Yeah.
702
00:44:45,272 --> 00:44:46,773
- He's taken him for a week's observation.
- Yeah, yeah.
703
00:44:46,774 --> 00:44:48,941
- Your boarding pass, Madam.
- Yeah, go ahead.
704
00:44:48,942 --> 00:44:51,360
Your boarding pass, with
your flight details on it.
705
00:44:51,361 --> 00:44:53,673
You were handed it at check-in.
706
00:44:53,989 --> 00:44:55,531
This?
707
00:44:55,532 --> 00:44:57,617
And your passport.
708
00:44:57,618 --> 00:44:59,276
OK.
709
00:45:07,044 --> 00:45:08,976
There you go.
710
00:45:15,260 --> 00:45:16,761
Thank you very much.
711
00:45:16,762 --> 00:45:18,471
Maureen? Maureen!
712
00:45:18,472 --> 00:45:20,181
- Uh, no, sorry. You can't go backwards.
- Maureen, stop.
713
00:45:20,182 --> 00:45:21,641
Please stop, Maureen.
Please, please stop.
714
00:45:21,642 --> 00:45:23,392
It's just a trip, that's all.
715
00:45:23,393 --> 00:45:26,270
Just a trip, till all this
press nonsense blows over.
716
00:45:26,271 --> 00:45:29,440
- It's for the best.
- This is all... It's just all too much.
717
00:45:29,441 --> 00:45:31,067
I mean, I don't know you.
718
00:45:31,068 --> 00:45:33,711
And I don't travel
well. And I've...
719
00:45:34,279 --> 00:45:35,905
I've never been on a 'plane before.
720
00:45:35,906 --> 00:45:39,213
- You've never been on a 'plane before?
- Shut up, Jess.
721
00:45:39,326 --> 00:45:42,036
Maureen, if you're afraid of
flying, I've got these tablets.
722
00:45:42,037 --> 00:45:45,415
I'm not afraid of
flying. It's just, I'm...
723
00:45:45,416 --> 00:45:48,334
I didn't want to be in the papers
and I didn't want to be on TV,
724
00:45:48,335 --> 00:45:51,045
and I don't want to be
here now. I just...
725
00:45:51,046 --> 00:45:54,353
I just want to go back
to my old life, OK?
726
00:45:54,550 --> 00:45:57,952
But your old life wasn't
very good, Maureen.
727
00:45:58,512 --> 00:46:00,346
Look, we made a pact.
728
00:46:00,347 --> 00:46:05,726
This is the final call for
Flight CA432 to Tenerife.
729
00:46:05,727 --> 00:46:09,021
Will all remaining passengers
please make their way to Gate C38
730
00:46:09,022 --> 00:46:11,500
- immediately.
- It's gonna be fine.
731
00:46:13,068 --> 00:46:14,964
Come on.
732
00:46:46,018 --> 00:46:49,395
- To a really good holiday.
- To life.
733
00:46:49,396 --> 00:46:50,730
Good afternoon.
734
00:46:50,731 --> 00:46:53,649
My name is Angelo and
I will be your waiter.
735
00:46:53,650 --> 00:46:57,269
Well, sometimes I will.
Other times I will be theirs.
736
00:46:58,530 --> 00:47:00,865
It's just a joke. Real, but a joke.
737
00:47:00,866 --> 00:47:02,617
Hello, Angelo.
738
00:47:02,618 --> 00:47:04,452
So, you're from England? How nice.
739
00:47:04,453 --> 00:47:06,746
Yeah, you knew that, Angelo.
You just talked English to us.
740
00:47:06,747 --> 00:47:09,390
I did, I did.
741
00:47:09,416 --> 00:47:11,042
Is he always this
clever, your husband?
742
00:47:11,043 --> 00:47:12,919
He is not her husband.
743
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:14,545
Let me guess.
744
00:47:14,546 --> 00:47:16,214
- You're all lovers, right?
- What? No.
745
00:47:16,215 --> 00:47:18,174
- Yes, yes.
- Yeah, yeah.
746
00:47:18,175 --> 00:47:19,467
Yeah, we are, right here.
747
00:47:19,468 --> 00:47:22,823
I bring Vaseline and Maureen
always brings a dildo.
748
00:47:23,138 --> 00:47:25,932
You know, someone told me a
joke about Vaseline once.
749
00:47:25,933 --> 00:47:28,226
But I can't entirely remember it.
750
00:47:28,227 --> 00:47:30,561
Well, Maureen, you must keep
drinking till you remember.
751
00:47:30,562 --> 00:47:32,230
Yeah.
752
00:47:32,231 --> 00:47:34,872
- We're happy. Good.
- Me, too.
753
00:47:50,290 --> 00:47:53,626
Oh, the sun is so fierce.
754
00:47:53,627 --> 00:47:56,546
And the sea's so sparkly and blue.
755
00:47:56,547 --> 00:47:59,507
Oh, Maureen, tell me that
you've seen the sea before.
756
00:47:59,508 --> 00:48:01,592
Yes, I've seen the sea before.
757
00:48:01,593 --> 00:48:02,927
Are we going in?
758
00:48:02,928 --> 00:48:04,554
- No.
- Of course we are.
759
00:48:04,555 --> 00:48:07,396
- We're not in our swimming costumes.
- Oh, underwear will be fine.
760
00:48:08,767 --> 00:48:10,393
- You don't see... No, no!
- Come on.
761
00:48:10,394 --> 00:48:12,061
No!
762
00:48:12,062 --> 00:48:15,002
Come on, grab her!
Come on, grab her!
763
00:48:49,099 --> 00:48:51,434
- Hi.
- Hey.
764
00:48:51,435 --> 00:48:53,663
- Hi.
- Hey.
765
00:48:57,691 --> 00:49:00,151
Maureen just called me
up on the hotel 'phone.
766
00:49:00,152 --> 00:49:03,404
Surprised to have her own bathroom.
767
00:49:03,405 --> 00:49:08,219
- She thinks this place is the height of luxury.
- Yeah, it is kind of cool, huh?
768
00:49:08,911 --> 00:49:11,969
Cheapest place I've
stayed in for 20 years.
769
00:49:12,247 --> 00:49:13,790
Yeah?
770
00:49:13,791 --> 00:49:16,482
It doesn't feel strange, does it?
771
00:49:16,627 --> 00:49:18,169
Us...
772
00:49:18,170 --> 00:49:20,630
- Being away together?
- No.
773
00:49:20,631 --> 00:49:22,215
No, it feels good.
774
00:49:22,216 --> 00:49:25,676
I thought I knew what I was doing
with the press and then...
775
00:49:25,677 --> 00:49:27,095
And then what?
776
00:49:27,096 --> 00:49:29,055
- The Jess meltdown and...
- No, no, no.
777
00:49:29,056 --> 00:49:33,159
Then I realised I'd got it all wrong.
I thought people would like it.
778
00:49:33,227 --> 00:49:35,812
I thought we'd make money and
people would find it eccentric
779
00:49:35,813 --> 00:49:38,064
- and heart-warming.
- Heart-warming?
780
00:49:38,065 --> 00:49:43,653
Four people survive suicide,
find hope, blah, blah, you know.
781
00:49:43,654 --> 00:49:47,424
I mean, it's the kind of
good-news story the press love.
782
00:49:50,411 --> 00:49:52,259
However,
783
00:49:53,580 --> 00:49:56,603
I underestimated how
much they hate me.
784
00:49:56,667 --> 00:49:59,773
It's not just about you, Martin.
785
00:50:00,129 --> 00:50:02,357
You know,
786
00:50:03,006 --> 00:50:05,151
I envy you.
787
00:50:05,300 --> 00:50:09,236
You, your cancer.
I mean, it's so cut and dry.
788
00:50:09,346 --> 00:50:13,599
No, really. Really, JJ,
I am so impressed with you.
789
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,519
I mean, you hardly
let it phase you.
790
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:18,771
And that is something to drink to.
791
00:50:18,772 --> 00:50:21,131
Here you go.
792
00:50:21,525 --> 00:50:23,670
Put hairs on your chest.
793
00:50:27,364 --> 00:50:29,473
Your health.
794
00:50:33,871 --> 00:50:37,309
Do you know what I feel when
I wake up in the mornings?
795
00:50:39,334 --> 00:50:41,479
Humiliated.
796
00:50:43,046 --> 00:50:45,690
Do you know what I
feel at lunchtime?
797
00:50:45,966 --> 00:50:47,815
Humiliated.
798
00:50:48,135 --> 00:50:52,472
My life is a constant
stream of humiliation.
799
00:50:52,473 --> 00:50:55,958
I don't feel sad. I don't
feel angry. I just feel...
800
00:50:56,643 --> 00:50:58,706
Humiliated.
801
00:51:00,564 --> 00:51:02,413
Yeah.
802
00:51:02,941 --> 00:51:05,419
To humiliation.
803
00:51:09,364 --> 00:51:13,409
OK, God gives you three wishes.
804
00:51:13,410 --> 00:51:16,537
Oh, God's not a tombola
machine, Martin.
805
00:51:16,538 --> 00:51:19,123
He doesn't just give wishes.
806
00:51:19,124 --> 00:51:20,917
Three wishes. Anything you want.
807
00:51:20,918 --> 00:51:22,960
That's easy. OK, billions of pounds
808
00:51:22,961 --> 00:51:26,756
- and my own personal hitman...
- OK.
809
00:51:26,757 --> 00:51:29,926
and a court waiver
810
00:51:29,927 --> 00:51:32,618
over anything that I want to do.
811
00:51:33,013 --> 00:51:35,740
- Really? Um...
- Mmm-hmm.
812
00:51:35,766 --> 00:51:40,450
Well, I'd... I'd want
a bit more help.
813
00:51:40,687 --> 00:51:43,331
A bit more of a life.
814
00:51:43,398 --> 00:51:45,400
What's a bit more of a life?
815
00:51:45,401 --> 00:51:48,111
Just what other people have.
816
00:51:48,112 --> 00:51:51,572
What do other people have?
817
00:51:51,573 --> 00:51:53,616
And I'd wish my son all better.
818
00:51:53,617 --> 00:51:55,975
That's why I don't do wishes.
819
00:51:57,788 --> 00:52:01,582
I'd want to be famous again,
the right kind of famous.
820
00:52:01,583 --> 00:52:03,501
I mean, being famous is great.
821
00:52:03,502 --> 00:52:05,753
Everyone think it's
difficult, but it's not.
822
00:52:05,754 --> 00:52:08,506
I mean, you get to have the
best seats in restaurants.
823
00:52:08,507 --> 00:52:12,093
People smile at you
on 'planes. It's great.
824
00:52:12,094 --> 00:52:16,389
And whatever you do, you feel
vindicated by your own fame.
825
00:52:16,390 --> 00:52:20,326
And you never ever feel humiliated.
826
00:52:21,061 --> 00:52:24,522
Well, it's certainly better
than real life, anyway.
827
00:52:24,523 --> 00:52:26,315
Wow!
828
00:52:26,316 --> 00:52:28,568
You're so deep.
829
00:52:28,569 --> 00:52:30,695
No, I'm just honest.
830
00:52:30,696 --> 00:52:33,072
- Martin! It's...
- What?
831
00:52:33,073 --> 00:52:34,782
You're nothing if
you're not noticed.
832
00:52:34,783 --> 00:52:37,391
OK, fame or your kids?
833
00:52:38,579 --> 00:52:40,621
- Mmm...
- Martin, you don't mean that.
834
00:52:40,622 --> 00:52:42,331
Don't I?
835
00:52:42,332 --> 00:52:46,400
All right, this is a bad game.
836
00:52:51,383 --> 00:52:53,397
OK.
837
00:52:53,469 --> 00:52:57,702
I wonder what JJ would
choose as his three wishes.
838
00:52:58,265 --> 00:53:00,183
'Cos, obviously, you'd...
839
00:53:00,184 --> 00:53:03,705
You'd want to cure your
cancer, for a start.
840
00:53:05,230 --> 00:53:07,648
I'm going to go, uh,
use the restroom.
841
00:53:07,649 --> 00:53:09,609
Then you'd probably
want loads of money
842
00:53:09,610 --> 00:53:12,383
so that you could donate
it to Cancer Research.
843
00:53:12,404 --> 00:53:15,073
You know, other people are
allowed to be in pain.
844
00:53:15,074 --> 00:53:17,183
You know that, Jess?
845
00:53:21,413 --> 00:53:24,389
Hey, mis amigos ingleses.
846
00:53:24,583 --> 00:53:25,950
How are we doing tonight?
847
00:53:27,503 --> 00:53:29,003
No, it's... Just leave it.
848
00:53:29,004 --> 00:53:31,047
Peachy, Angelo. Peachy.
849
00:53:31,048 --> 00:53:33,609
Great. Keep drinking.
850
00:53:41,350 --> 00:53:43,542
You're sitting in my seat.
851
00:53:43,769 --> 00:53:45,394
What?
852
00:53:45,395 --> 00:53:49,357
Uh, I'd find another seat, but
you're also sitting on my shawl.
853
00:53:49,358 --> 00:53:51,633
Oh, shit, sorry.
854
00:53:52,694 --> 00:53:54,709
- There.
- Thanks.
855
00:54:00,619 --> 00:54:03,926
You know, I think I recognise
you from somewhere.
856
00:54:04,206 --> 00:54:06,054
Ah.
857
00:54:06,083 --> 00:54:09,308
Yeah, um... There's this thing...
858
00:54:09,795 --> 00:54:14,229
That may have been in the
papers a bit recently, so...
859
00:54:14,633 --> 00:54:16,991
No, that's not it.
860
00:54:20,806 --> 00:54:22,701
Are you in a band?
861
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,496
- What?
- Yeah.
862
00:54:25,561 --> 00:54:27,270
- You supported Alt-J.
- Yeah.
863
00:54:27,271 --> 00:54:29,939
- Manchester Towers.
- Two years ago.
864
00:54:29,940 --> 00:54:31,774
It was the first time
we came to Britain.
865
00:54:31,775 --> 00:54:33,359
- You're the front man, right?
- Yeah.
866
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:35,862
I remember loving your lyrics.
867
00:54:35,863 --> 00:54:40,408
Really? Yeah, wow!
You know, I... I wrote those.
868
00:54:40,409 --> 00:54:44,060
Adolescent shit mostly.
869
00:54:44,580 --> 00:54:46,748
Are you still serious about it?
870
00:54:46,749 --> 00:54:48,727
Er...
871
00:54:48,792 --> 00:54:51,127
I was. Now, not so.
872
00:54:51,128 --> 00:54:52,962
What's your name?
873
00:54:52,963 --> 00:54:54,776
JJ.
874
00:54:54,923 --> 00:54:56,883
Which stands for?
875
00:54:56,884 --> 00:55:00,961
Er... John Julius.
876
00:55:02,848 --> 00:55:05,308
Hi, John Julius.
877
00:55:05,309 --> 00:55:06,726
I'm Kathy.
878
00:55:06,727 --> 00:55:09,536
Hello, Kathy.
879
00:55:11,648 --> 00:55:13,580
Wow!
880
00:55:20,908 --> 00:55:24,285
This is brilliant! Yeah!
881
00:55:24,286 --> 00:55:26,370
- I love it. This is beautiful.
- Yeah.
882
00:55:26,371 --> 00:55:27,955
Beautiful!
883
00:55:27,956 --> 00:55:31,834
- Who's that?
- That is, uh, my uncle.
884
00:55:31,835 --> 00:55:34,212
Ah! I think I recognise him.
885
00:55:34,213 --> 00:55:36,464
Yeah. He's, uh...
He's vaguely famous.
886
00:55:36,465 --> 00:55:39,258
Ah, a failed musician with
a vaguely famous uncle.
887
00:55:39,259 --> 00:55:40,635
I am a lucky girl.
888
00:55:40,636 --> 00:55:42,136
I enjoy it all the time, Angelo.
889
00:55:42,137 --> 00:55:44,246
See you later, mate.
890
00:55:58,112 --> 00:55:59,987
- Come on, let's go!
- Go where?
891
00:55:59,988 --> 00:56:01,864
- We're going to go dance.
- No, no, no, I'm happy to watch.
892
00:56:01,865 --> 00:56:03,449
- No, no, come on.
- Martin, I don't...
893
00:56:03,450 --> 00:56:05,346
Come on!
894
00:56:26,140 --> 00:56:28,118
Whoa!
895
00:56:35,691 --> 00:56:39,959
- So, uh, you're out here on your own?
- Mmm-hmm.
896
00:56:40,904 --> 00:56:44,176
Other people just crowd it and
make it about themselves.
897
00:56:44,700 --> 00:56:46,367
So you're... You're
here with family?
898
00:56:46,368 --> 00:56:47,702
Your uncle and...
899
00:56:47,703 --> 00:56:53,099
Uh, yeah, a bit of family,
friends, sort of.
900
00:56:54,084 --> 00:56:56,727
But you don't like them?
901
00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:59,297
I mean, you ran away
from them at the bar.
902
00:56:59,298 --> 00:57:02,341
No, it's just they can
be a little, um...
903
00:57:02,342 --> 00:57:05,863
- A little intense, you know?
- Mmm-hmm.
904
00:57:06,513 --> 00:57:09,891
And you don't like intense?
905
00:57:09,892 --> 00:57:12,268
No, uh...
906
00:57:12,269 --> 00:57:16,939
Yeah, I can't really talk
because I'm intense.
907
00:57:16,940 --> 00:57:19,714
Good.
908
00:57:20,152 --> 00:57:22,570
Because if you're looking
for a neurosis-free girl,
909
00:57:22,571 --> 00:57:24,197
you're bang out of luck.
910
00:57:24,198 --> 00:57:26,032
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
911
00:57:26,033 --> 00:57:27,867
- Really?
- Yeah, I...
912
00:57:27,868 --> 00:57:31,278
I once set fire to my hair
just to see what would happen.
913
00:57:32,247 --> 00:57:35,166
I was 10 and it didn't
improve my look.
914
00:57:35,167 --> 00:57:36,834
Oh, that's, that's nothing.
915
00:57:36,835 --> 00:57:42,090
When I was a kid, I jumped off our roof
just to see if I could hurt myself.
916
00:57:42,091 --> 00:57:46,385
And, um, yeah,
I broke my leg and I...
917
00:57:46,386 --> 00:57:47,678
I kind of liked it.
918
00:57:47,679 --> 00:57:49,680
OK, well, how's this for psycho?
919
00:57:49,681 --> 00:57:52,683
I carved my ex-boyfriend's initials
920
00:57:52,684 --> 00:57:54,435
- into my left inner thigh...
- Ah...
921
00:57:54,436 --> 00:57:57,271
as a way of telling him that
no-one else would ever see there.
922
00:57:57,272 --> 00:57:59,440
- Beat that.
- Um...
923
00:57:59,441 --> 00:58:01,234
Easy. I...
924
00:58:01,235 --> 00:58:05,530
I recently told some
people that I had cancer
925
00:58:05,531 --> 00:58:08,574
to avoid telling them
the real reason
926
00:58:08,575 --> 00:58:11,717
I had for attempting suicide.
927
00:58:12,079 --> 00:58:13,788
That is intense.
928
00:58:13,789 --> 00:58:17,166
- What... What was the... real reason?
- I...
929
00:58:17,167 --> 00:58:19,377
You know what? I don't know.
930
00:58:19,378 --> 00:58:22,880
I do know that I am
now part of a pact
931
00:58:22,881 --> 00:58:26,949
- that I had to lie to become a...
- What pact?
932
00:58:28,262 --> 00:58:30,194
Just a...
933
00:58:30,639 --> 00:58:34,183
Just a bunch of desperate
people being desperate together
934
00:58:34,184 --> 00:58:37,836
as a way of feeling a
little less desperate.
935
00:58:39,773 --> 00:58:42,796
OK, you win the psycho game.
936
00:58:43,402 --> 00:58:47,836
Good. Good. I always
wanted to win that game.
937
00:59:04,631 --> 00:59:07,383
I haven't done this
for a while, so...
938
00:59:07,384 --> 00:59:09,316
Mmm.
939
00:59:50,969 --> 00:59:53,513
- OK, now I'm going to say something.
- Oh, fuck!
940
00:59:53,514 --> 00:59:55,598
Because if I wait and say
nothing and then you spot me
941
00:59:55,599 --> 00:59:58,226
after you've pissed, I think
that would probably be worse.
942
00:59:58,227 --> 01:00:00,478
Wait, how did...
How did you even...
943
01:00:00,479 --> 01:00:02,355
Just took a credit card and
a bit of spit, you know.
944
01:00:02,356 --> 01:00:05,581
Hotel security is not
what it should be.
945
01:00:05,984 --> 01:00:08,509
How long have you been there?
946
01:00:11,490 --> 01:00:17,120
I just really wanted to
apologise for earlier.
947
01:00:17,121 --> 01:00:18,413
Because I don't know...
948
01:00:18,414 --> 01:00:20,642
I don't know why I said that.
949
01:00:21,166 --> 01:00:24,142
And then I was probably
gonna try and shag you.
950
01:00:25,921 --> 01:00:28,047
She's really pretty, though,
951
01:00:28,048 --> 01:00:29,215
So, well done.
952
01:00:29,216 --> 01:00:30,383
- Hey...
- You don't have to say anything.
953
01:00:30,384 --> 01:00:34,220
You can take that one
as a compliment.
954
01:00:34,221 --> 01:00:37,872
Then, I'll just leave quietly.
955
01:00:38,934 --> 01:00:40,101
Hey, uh, Jess...
956
01:00:40,102 --> 01:00:44,454
You know, I really would prefer
it if you didn't say anything.
957
01:00:46,400 --> 01:00:49,422
You do know she's a
journalist though, right?
958
01:00:50,112 --> 01:00:52,304
- What?
- Look in her bag.
959
01:00:52,322 --> 01:00:56,141
'Cos I saw her check her
recorder in the bar.
960
01:00:57,119 --> 01:01:01,720
- Oh, my God!
- Still, she fucked you, though, right?
961
01:01:02,541 --> 01:01:05,398
So, at least she's thorough.
962
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:08,733
Hey, hey.
963
01:01:17,556 --> 01:01:18,931
"What pact?"
964
01:01:18,932 --> 01:01:22,602
"Just... just a bunch
of desperate people
965
01:01:22,603 --> 01:01:24,729
"being desperate together
966
01:01:24,730 --> 01:01:27,431
"as a way of feeling a
little less desperate."
967
01:03:17,134 --> 01:03:19,362
I think it's sweet.
968
01:03:19,511 --> 01:03:21,387
I think it's unsanitary.
969
01:03:21,388 --> 01:03:24,766
No, only part of you thinks that.
The other part thinks it's sweet.
970
01:03:24,767 --> 01:03:27,477
Oh... Hmm.
971
01:03:27,478 --> 01:03:29,645
- Why are you waiting here?
- I'm waiting for them to finish
972
01:03:29,646 --> 01:03:32,398
this tray of scrambled egg
and bring in a new tray.
973
01:03:32,399 --> 01:03:35,401
But the scrambled egg's
never fresh, Martin.
974
01:03:35,402 --> 01:03:37,278
I mean, I might not have
been on a lot of holidays,
975
01:03:37,279 --> 01:03:41,382
but I've been in a lot of hospitals and
I understand institutional catering.
976
01:03:42,201 --> 01:03:45,971
Who are all these people and
why do they eat so much?
977
01:03:46,121 --> 01:03:48,930
They're having a good
time, that's all.
978
01:03:52,002 --> 01:03:54,314
- Martin.
- Hmm?
979
01:03:54,379 --> 01:03:57,048
Thank you for arranging
this holiday.
980
01:03:57,049 --> 01:03:58,508
I think it's been good for me.
981
01:03:58,509 --> 01:04:03,073
You really don't understand what
a disaster we all are, do you?
982
01:04:03,305 --> 01:04:08,392
- Come on, let's get you some breakfast.
- Yeah, good idea, good idea.
983
01:04:08,393 --> 01:04:12,294
- The prunes are very good.
- Don't like prunes.
984
01:04:32,793 --> 01:04:35,733
- Hi.
- Oh, morning, JJ.
985
01:04:35,879 --> 01:04:38,297
I may have said some
stupid things last night.
986
01:04:38,298 --> 01:04:39,715
Drink has never been my friend.
987
01:04:39,716 --> 01:04:43,302
- Sorry about that.
- So, I got a few things to say.
988
01:04:43,303 --> 01:04:46,639
I don't think you're
gonna like any of them.
989
01:04:46,640 --> 01:04:47,890
Are you going back to America?
990
01:04:47,891 --> 01:04:51,602
Yeah, I'm gonna start with
the... the biggest... Um...
991
01:04:51,603 --> 01:04:56,107
I don't have cancer
of the... the brain.
992
01:04:56,108 --> 01:04:58,776
- I don't have CCR.
- Oh, they've cured you!
993
01:04:58,777 --> 01:05:03,156
No, Maureen, I, uh...
I never had it.
994
01:05:03,157 --> 01:05:05,658
- I... I made it all up.
- Oh.
995
01:05:05,659 --> 01:05:09,120
There's actually no
such thing as... as CCR.
996
01:05:09,121 --> 01:05:11,330
It's just Creedence
Clearwater Revival are
997
01:05:11,331 --> 01:05:12,832
one of my favourite bands, but...
998
01:05:12,833 --> 01:05:15,418
Oh. I wasn't gonna say anything.
999
01:05:15,419 --> 01:05:16,586
Did you know about this?
1000
01:05:16,587 --> 01:05:18,296
You know, I thought there
was something strange.
1001
01:05:18,297 --> 01:05:20,423
So, why, hmm?
1002
01:05:20,424 --> 01:05:22,008
Why, JJ, were you up there?
1003
01:05:22,009 --> 01:05:23,676
He can't answer that.
That's personal.
1004
01:05:23,677 --> 01:05:27,346
- I'm sure he had good reasons.
- Oh, did he? JJ, did you?
1005
01:05:27,347 --> 01:05:29,457
Yeah, um...
1006
01:05:30,517 --> 01:05:34,812
Guys, actually, I'm gonna need
to postpone this conversation...
1007
01:05:34,813 --> 01:05:37,023
We... We had a pact.
1008
01:05:37,024 --> 01:05:39,942
I... I trusted you. I liked you!
1009
01:05:39,943 --> 01:05:42,445
Hey, Martin, please, just sit down.
We'll talk about this another time.
1010
01:05:42,446 --> 01:05:46,050
- Another time? What time would you...
- Hey, where were you?
1011
01:05:46,158 --> 01:05:49,118
Oh, right, great. We all stop
for your girlfriend, do we?
1012
01:05:49,119 --> 01:05:52,538
She's not my
girlfriend, OK? She's...
1013
01:05:52,539 --> 01:05:56,000
- She's a journalist.
- What?
1014
01:05:56,001 --> 01:05:57,502
- Look, I didn't know.
- Shit.
1015
01:05:57,503 --> 01:05:59,087
You don't know much, do you?
1016
01:05:59,088 --> 01:06:01,464
If he didn't know, he didn't know.
1017
01:06:01,465 --> 01:06:03,758
I mean, we've had bad things
written about us before.
1018
01:06:03,759 --> 01:06:07,929
Look, I understand that you are
angry, but, please, Martin,
1019
01:06:07,930 --> 01:06:10,723
- I'm feeling pretty humiliated...
- Oh, you don't understand anything!
1020
01:06:10,724 --> 01:06:12,725
You certainly don't
understand humiliation!
1021
01:06:12,726 --> 01:06:15,561
- Martin, you're being dramatic.
- You're a leech! You're a fake!
1022
01:06:15,562 --> 01:06:18,356
- You're a fraud! You're a joke, JJ.
- Martin, stop this.
1023
01:06:18,357 --> 01:06:20,691
- John...
- Who the fuck is John?
1024
01:06:20,692 --> 01:06:22,985
I'm... Look, I'm John.
1025
01:06:22,986 --> 01:06:24,487
And you know what?
1026
01:06:24,488 --> 01:06:27,198
- I'm not a fraud.
- Stop it. Remember the pact.
1027
01:06:27,199 --> 01:06:29,676
Fuck the pact!
1028
01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:31,902
I'm not a fraud!
1029
01:06:37,209 --> 01:06:40,185
Don't you ever touch me again!
1030
01:07:39,605 --> 01:07:42,248
Good morning, sunshine.
1031
01:07:42,524 --> 01:07:44,717
Hello, sweetheart.
1032
01:07:45,736 --> 01:07:48,529
Hello, sleepy head.
1033
01:07:48,530 --> 01:07:51,783
How are you? Good morning.
1034
01:07:51,784 --> 01:07:53,534
All right, here we go.
1035
01:07:53,535 --> 01:07:55,703
"Not having Matty with
me on the holiday,
1036
01:07:55,704 --> 01:07:58,762
"it... it felt like I
was missing a leg.
1037
01:07:59,083 --> 01:08:01,097
"Strange.
1038
01:08:01,502 --> 01:08:03,434
"Light.
1039
01:08:03,504 --> 01:08:06,631
"That's probably not like
missing a leg at all.
1040
01:08:06,632 --> 01:08:09,383
"I don't imagine most
people's first impressions
1041
01:08:09,384 --> 01:08:11,778
"of leg loss is weightlessness."
1042
01:08:18,310 --> 01:08:20,419
How's that?
1043
01:08:20,562 --> 01:08:22,411
There we are.
1044
01:08:25,943 --> 01:08:29,070
"I missed him most when
the 'plane was landing.
1045
01:08:29,071 --> 01:08:31,382
"We shook a little on descent.
1046
01:08:31,740 --> 01:08:34,015
"I thought I was going to die.
1047
01:08:34,451 --> 01:08:37,059
"And I hadn't said goodbye.
1048
01:08:56,014 --> 01:09:01,327
"JJ's girlfriend's piece meant the
story, our story, didn't die.
1049
01:09:01,478 --> 01:09:03,563
"But Martin said to
concentrate on being boring
1050
01:09:03,564 --> 01:09:06,171
"and they'd eventually
leave us alone.
1051
01:09:06,316 --> 01:09:09,921
"So, that's what I did.
Not difficult.
1052
01:09:10,028 --> 01:09:12,280
"And, as for the others,
1053
01:09:12,281 --> 01:09:16,993
"as soon as we landed, we scattered
in different directions like we were
1054
01:09:16,994 --> 01:09:19,436
"allergic to each other.
1055
01:09:19,580 --> 01:09:21,748
"The pact was broken beyond repair,
1056
01:09:21,749 --> 01:09:25,934
"and without the pact, our
friendship was broken, too.
1057
01:09:28,172 --> 01:09:32,025
"I still saw them, actually,
every now and again.
1058
01:09:33,635 --> 01:09:37,987
"I saw Jess in places
she shouldn't be.
1059
01:09:38,766 --> 01:09:42,584
"And I did make a little
effort to find JJ,
1060
01:09:43,437 --> 01:09:45,021
"just to check he was OK."
1061
01:09:45,022 --> 01:09:50,583
JJ, I can't believe...
One last time, slower!
1062
01:09:54,448 --> 01:09:57,009
"I never saw Martin.
1063
01:10:00,204 --> 01:10:03,725
"No, mostly, I...
I got on with my life
1064
01:10:04,166 --> 01:10:07,189
"and hoped they got
on with theirs."
1065
01:10:21,475 --> 01:10:24,083
Matty did really well.
1066
01:10:24,103 --> 01:10:27,078
We did some interesting
reflex work.
1067
01:10:27,564 --> 01:10:31,401
Nice to have him properly
looked after for once.
1068
01:10:31,402 --> 01:10:33,277
He reacted well to company.
1069
01:10:33,278 --> 01:10:35,780
I'm sure he loved a change
from my blathering.
1070
01:10:35,781 --> 01:10:38,533
We couldn't get him
out of this pool.
1071
01:10:38,534 --> 01:10:40,284
Well, he's always loved water.
1072
01:10:40,285 --> 01:10:42,078
You know, er, there might be a
1073
01:10:42,079 --> 01:10:46,513
slot for him to come to one of my
weekly sessions, if you'd like it.
1074
01:10:46,875 --> 01:10:49,684
Oh, I'm sure he'd love it.
1075
01:10:49,711 --> 01:10:51,921
I'll add him to the list.
1076
01:10:51,922 --> 01:10:56,274
You know, you look like you've
caught a bit of colour.
1077
01:10:56,593 --> 01:10:58,821
Do I?
1078
01:11:00,681 --> 01:11:03,766
You know, from the
pictures in the papers,
1079
01:11:03,767 --> 01:11:08,546
it looked like you
picked a very nice spot.
1080
01:11:10,065 --> 01:11:11,878
Yes.
1081
01:11:11,984 --> 01:11:13,998
Well...
1082
01:11:50,522 --> 01:11:57,176
♪ Inchworm measuring the marigolds
1083
01:11:57,488 --> 01:12:01,657
♪ You and your arithmetic
1084
01:12:01,658 --> 01:12:06,176
♪ You'll probably go far
1085
01:12:06,538 --> 01:12:11,140
♪ Two and two are four
1086
01:12:11,460 --> 01:12:16,192
♪ Four and four are eight
1087
01:12:16,298 --> 01:12:20,510
♪ Eight and eight are 16
1088
01:12:20,511 --> 01:12:25,741
♪ 16 and 16 are 32 ♪
1089
01:12:51,458 --> 01:12:53,437
Matty?
1090
01:12:53,544 --> 01:12:55,736
Matty.
1091
01:12:56,088 --> 01:12:58,197
Matty.
1092
01:12:59,883 --> 01:13:03,285
No. No.
1093
01:13:09,768 --> 01:13:11,664
Matty?
1094
01:13:13,689 --> 01:13:15,917
Oh, Matty!
1095
01:13:28,495 --> 01:13:31,803
We'll let you know as soon
as there's any information.
1096
01:14:08,869 --> 01:14:12,936
- Hey, Maureen.
- Oh!
1097
01:14:16,251 --> 01:14:18,729
Ah...
1098
01:14:27,429 --> 01:14:30,807
Oh, you came, too!
1099
01:14:30,808 --> 01:14:33,830
Yeah. Nothing on TV.
1100
01:14:34,061 --> 01:14:38,022
Uh, this is my dad. He drove me.
1101
01:14:38,023 --> 01:14:39,690
He'll probably say
something very moving.
1102
01:14:39,691 --> 01:14:41,943
I'm sorry to hear about
your son, Maureen.
1103
01:14:41,944 --> 01:14:46,011
It's not one of his
best attempts, is it?
1104
01:14:46,490 --> 01:14:49,575
I'm really... I'm really
grateful you're all...
1105
01:14:49,576 --> 01:14:52,036
You're all here.
1106
01:14:52,037 --> 01:14:54,099
Of course we're here.
1107
01:14:59,503 --> 01:15:01,170
This isn't tea.
1108
01:15:01,171 --> 01:15:02,380
No, I know. It's hot chocolate.
1109
01:15:02,381 --> 01:15:04,048
- But I asked for tea.
- Well, I was buying
1110
01:15:04,049 --> 01:15:06,050
and I don't like the smell of tea.
1111
01:15:06,051 --> 01:15:09,157
- So, when you buy rounds in pubs...
- Pink gins.
1112
01:15:09,346 --> 01:15:11,139
Then you never have to
buy a round ever again.
1113
01:15:11,140 --> 01:15:12,932
It's clever, right, hmm?
1114
01:15:12,933 --> 01:15:14,995
Is JJ still not here, then?
1115
01:15:15,185 --> 01:15:17,353
I... I couldn't get through to him.
1116
01:15:17,354 --> 01:15:19,313
He's probably not
picked up his messages.
1117
01:15:19,314 --> 01:15:21,941
Yeah, it's either that or he doesn't
really care. It's one or the other.
1118
01:15:21,942 --> 01:15:24,777
I genuinely don't know
how you've survived her.
1119
01:15:24,778 --> 01:15:26,487
- Ear plugs.
- I am going to make you
1120
01:15:26,488 --> 01:15:27,822
go and sit in the car in a minute.
1121
01:15:27,823 --> 01:15:30,241
Ear plugs and pink gin.
1122
01:15:30,242 --> 01:15:33,077
He wasn't the reason
I was up there.
1123
01:15:33,078 --> 01:15:34,891
Matty.
1124
01:15:35,622 --> 01:15:37,518
He wasn't.
1125
01:15:38,667 --> 01:15:40,432
No?
1126
01:15:40,878 --> 01:15:44,447
There were lots of reasons
I was up on that roof.
1127
01:15:45,382 --> 01:15:48,524
You once asked me why, Jess.
1128
01:15:49,219 --> 01:15:53,405
And... I said...
I said I felt helpless.
1129
01:15:58,729 --> 01:16:03,959
But the truth is, I'd not... I'd not
done a list for living and a list for...
1130
01:16:05,360 --> 01:16:09,713
It... It was a feeling.
Not a thought.
1131
01:16:12,409 --> 01:16:14,886
But not one of those reasons
1132
01:16:16,830 --> 01:16:19,624
was that I didn't love my son.
1133
01:16:19,625 --> 01:16:21,951
Not one of them, not one.
1134
01:16:28,425 --> 01:16:30,986
Maureen, we know that.
1135
01:16:38,102 --> 01:16:42,772
Oh, God! Oh, no, no, no, no, no...
1136
01:16:42,773 --> 01:16:44,065
- No, no, no.
- Don't tell me...
1137
01:16:44,066 --> 01:16:46,192
He's fine. Maureen. Maureen...
1138
01:16:46,193 --> 01:16:48,302
He's fine.
1139
01:16:48,779 --> 01:16:50,696
- What?
- We're gonna keep monitoring him.
1140
01:16:50,697 --> 01:16:52,972
But he's no longer critical.
1141
01:16:52,991 --> 01:16:55,952
- He'll be fine.
- He'll be fine?
1142
01:16:55,953 --> 01:16:58,696
- Yeah, he'll be fine.
- OK.
1143
01:17:00,082 --> 01:17:02,250
Now, the tubes look
worse than they are.
1144
01:17:02,251 --> 01:17:05,378
We'll remove some tonight and the rest,
hopefully, will be out tomorrow.
1145
01:17:05,379 --> 01:17:09,090
Oh! I should have seen it coming.
1146
01:17:09,091 --> 01:17:11,551
If he'd had... If he'd
had proper care then...
1147
01:17:11,552 --> 01:17:15,820
Maureen... you saved him.
1148
01:17:16,056 --> 01:17:19,079
It was a myocardial infarction.
1149
01:17:20,519 --> 01:17:23,062
He... He had a heart
attack of sorts.
1150
01:17:23,063 --> 01:17:25,671
His symptoms were almost invisible.
1151
01:17:26,358 --> 01:17:31,172
I didn't notice it. I was
monitoring it and I didn't...
1152
01:17:32,239 --> 01:17:34,597
But you caught it.
1153
01:17:34,950 --> 01:17:37,392
You saved his life.
1154
01:17:42,040 --> 01:17:44,601
Matty's a very lucky
boy to have you.
1155
01:17:46,628 --> 01:17:49,070
I only had one thought.
1156
01:17:50,007 --> 01:17:51,986
When he...
1157
01:17:54,136 --> 01:17:57,657
If he dies, I die.
1158
01:17:59,141 --> 01:18:01,535
Well, he lived.
1159
01:18:05,230 --> 01:18:11,125
And maybe he feels the same way
about you as you do about him.
1160
01:18:12,196 --> 01:18:14,720
Have you ever considered that?
1161
01:18:25,167 --> 01:18:27,460
- It's Valentine's Day.
- Mmm-hmm.
1162
01:18:27,461 --> 01:18:28,628
- Martin.
- Yeah?
1163
01:18:28,629 --> 01:18:30,588
- Today is Valentine's Day.
- Good.
1164
01:18:30,589 --> 01:18:31,798
- Martin.
- Yeah.
1165
01:18:31,799 --> 01:18:35,176
Breakfast TV's completely messed
up your brain, hasn't it? Come on.
1166
01:18:35,177 --> 01:18:38,638
- Oh, JJ! The pact!
- Get Maureen. I'm gonna find JJ now.
1167
01:18:38,639 --> 01:18:41,081
Yeah. Oh, shit.
1168
01:19:03,122 --> 01:19:06,249
Have you... Have you seen JJ?
1169
01:19:06,250 --> 01:19:08,292
JJ is gone.
1170
01:19:08,293 --> 01:19:10,044
- Gone?
- Yeah, he's a prick.
1171
01:19:10,045 --> 01:19:13,780
He left over a week ago.
He didn't even serve notice.
1172
01:19:13,799 --> 01:19:20,120
That prick you're talking about, Paolo,
happens to be my daughter's friend.
1173
01:19:20,597 --> 01:19:22,956
And you'd do well to remember that.
1174
01:19:30,065 --> 01:19:32,600
You are called Paolo, aren't you?
1175
01:19:35,237 --> 01:19:38,806
It's just that it says Paolo's
Place outside and you
1176
01:19:39,074 --> 01:19:43,426
certainly sound Italian.
You look Italian and...
1177
01:19:45,289 --> 01:19:48,430
- Love your tats.
- Come on, Dad.
1178
01:19:56,300 --> 01:19:59,427
- Hello?
- Oh, er... yes. Hi, hi, hello.
1179
01:19:59,428 --> 01:20:02,201
- What?
- I'm looking for JJ.
1180
01:20:02,431 --> 01:20:05,489
- Who?
- John Julius.
1181
01:20:25,829 --> 01:20:27,642
Oh, JJ.
1182
01:21:42,114 --> 01:21:44,508
I hoped you wouldn't be up here.
1183
01:21:46,618 --> 01:21:50,621
You know, three people have killed
themselves from this building
1184
01:21:50,622 --> 01:21:53,100
between New Year's and today?
1185
01:21:54,209 --> 01:21:59,522
Sue Chalmott, housewife
and manic depressive.
1186
01:21:59,590 --> 01:22:04,594
Um, David Frommet, banker
who lost everything.
1187
01:22:04,595 --> 01:22:09,766
And, er, Ben Peterson.
He was only 15.
1188
01:22:09,767 --> 01:22:13,603
So, you're going to join them?
1189
01:22:13,604 --> 01:22:16,105
I kept to the pact, Martin, OK?
1190
01:22:16,106 --> 01:22:20,193
This, me, it's none
of your business now.
1191
01:22:20,194 --> 01:22:25,424
True. Why, though, JJ?
Why are you up here?
1192
01:22:25,824 --> 01:22:31,469
That's the thing, Martin.
I... I didn't lie to you.
1193
01:22:31,580 --> 01:22:35,625
- I don't know.
- You... don't know?
1194
01:22:35,626 --> 01:22:39,003
And that makes my reason
better than any of yours.
1195
01:22:39,004 --> 01:22:42,276
I wasn't aware that
this was a competition.
1196
01:22:43,133 --> 01:22:48,244
You see, all Jess needs
is to feel important.
1197
01:22:48,931 --> 01:22:54,042
Maureen, she needs to feel loved.
1198
01:22:54,895 --> 01:22:59,674
And you, you just... You
just need to grow a brain.
1199
01:23:00,651 --> 01:23:02,546
Fair enough.
1200
01:23:02,861 --> 01:23:08,008
See, you can solve your
problems, but me, I can't.
1201
01:23:08,117 --> 01:23:09,659
Just, Martin... Martin, stop.
1202
01:23:09,660 --> 01:23:14,557
Martin, just stop walking.
Three steps and I'm gone. Just...
1203
01:23:15,958 --> 01:23:17,972
Oh, God!
1204
01:23:18,043 --> 01:23:22,111
Look, I'm just... I'm just tired
1205
01:23:23,132 --> 01:23:27,552
of, er, of being
scared all the time
1206
01:23:27,553 --> 01:23:30,362
and not knowing why.
I'm tired of being...
1207
01:23:30,722 --> 01:23:35,703
Trying... Trying to change
and not knowing how.
1208
01:23:35,853 --> 01:23:41,829
You know, leaving my latest
shit band, moving countries.
1209
01:23:44,111 --> 01:23:48,463
Because however much I do change,
1210
01:23:50,617 --> 01:23:52,762
I'm left with me.
1211
01:23:57,958 --> 01:24:00,501
Sounds like you've got
it all worked out, JJ.
1212
01:24:00,502 --> 01:24:04,901
It's logical. The reason why you wanna
die is because you don't wanna live.
1213
01:24:06,675 --> 01:24:08,903
It's as simple as that, right?
1214
01:24:09,052 --> 01:24:11,364
I used to think like that, too.
1215
01:24:11,513 --> 01:24:13,326
JJ.
1216
01:24:15,893 --> 01:24:17,727
- And then there were four.
- Don't you get it?
1217
01:24:17,728 --> 01:24:19,854
I mean, we made it, all right?
1218
01:24:19,855 --> 01:24:23,149
We all made it to Valentine's
Day and nothing, OK?
1219
01:24:23,150 --> 01:24:26,256
Nothing, absolutely
nothing has changed!
1220
01:24:27,071 --> 01:24:29,280
But everything has changed.
1221
01:24:29,281 --> 01:24:31,556
- What?
- Everything.
1222
01:24:32,659 --> 01:24:36,120
We are standing in entirely
different positions,
1223
01:24:36,121 --> 01:24:38,956
for one thing.
1224
01:24:38,957 --> 01:24:41,626
I didn't ever want to be up here again,
JJ. I'm pretty sure none of us did.
1225
01:24:41,627 --> 01:24:46,405
He's right. You know,
it's shit up here.
1226
01:24:46,840 --> 01:24:49,033
I... I hope...
1227
01:24:49,885 --> 01:24:53,739
I think we still matter to you, JJ.
1228
01:24:54,848 --> 01:24:58,120
I mean, why else would you
pick Valentine's Day?
1229
01:24:59,269 --> 01:25:01,628
You may think you want to die,
1230
01:25:02,606 --> 01:25:05,130
but you knew we'd look for you.
1231
01:25:07,236 --> 01:25:09,153
We're not up here
because we wanna die.
1232
01:25:09,154 --> 01:25:11,072
We're here for you.
1233
01:25:11,073 --> 01:25:13,301
The Topper House Four.
1234
01:25:13,826 --> 01:25:16,244
We belong together. We're a team.
1235
01:25:16,245 --> 01:25:19,789
We're the worst team the world has
ever known and if I was picking,
1236
01:25:19,790 --> 01:25:23,042
none of you would have made it
onto the subs' bench, but still,
1237
01:25:23,043 --> 01:25:24,856
we're a team.
1238
01:25:28,090 --> 01:25:32,359
I know, it's not much, son.
1239
01:25:32,678 --> 01:25:40,079
But maybe we're a start.
1240
01:25:54,324 --> 01:25:56,967
You can't even see the bottom.
1241
01:26:20,476 --> 01:26:22,408
Hello?
1242
01:26:23,479 --> 01:26:26,397
Hello? Can anybody hear me?
1243
01:26:26,398 --> 01:26:28,733
We can hear you and
see you, Martin.
1244
01:26:28,734 --> 01:26:30,902
Bonsoir, Martin.
1245
01:26:30,903 --> 01:26:33,529
Where's the button for this?
1246
01:26:33,530 --> 01:26:35,281
Oh, hiya.
1247
01:26:35,282 --> 01:26:38,993
Maureen, is that
glitter on your face?
1248
01:26:38,994 --> 01:26:41,579
No, no, no... Yes.
1249
01:26:41,580 --> 01:26:43,498
Matty... Matty seems
to like glitter.
1250
01:26:43,499 --> 01:26:48,211
And we're having a kind of a...
Well, New Year's Eve party.
1251
01:26:48,212 --> 01:26:50,880
Maureen, you rager!
1252
01:26:50,881 --> 01:26:52,715
Jess, please!
1253
01:26:52,716 --> 01:26:55,676
I'm trying to keep the noise
down out here, OK? Shh.
1254
01:26:55,677 --> 01:26:58,721
It was Dr Stephen's, er...
Robert's idea, actually.
1255
01:26:58,722 --> 01:27:01,390
Yeah, he's been hugely helpful.
1256
01:27:01,391 --> 01:27:03,267
In return for me
joining his quiz team,
1257
01:27:03,268 --> 01:27:07,396
which has caused much controversy because
I was supposed to join another quiz team
1258
01:27:07,397 --> 01:27:09,357
and it's kind of complicated.
1259
01:27:09,358 --> 01:27:11,776
Sounds complicated.
1260
01:27:11,777 --> 01:27:13,194
I saw your Dad got promoted, Jess.
1261
01:27:13,195 --> 01:27:14,612
OK, we must have
better news than that.
1262
01:27:14,613 --> 01:27:16,989
Come on, somebody
say something. Martin?
1263
01:27:16,990 --> 01:27:19,700
Why don't you stoke up this party?
1264
01:27:19,701 --> 01:27:23,935
Why don't you tell us about some of
your most recent bedtime conquests?
1265
01:27:24,123 --> 01:27:28,687
Well, I'm often asleep by
10:00, on my own, exhausted.
1266
01:27:29,128 --> 01:27:33,277
Are children famous for getting you up
early in the morning? I had no idea.
1267
01:27:33,590 --> 01:27:36,884
God, when did we all turn into
Little House on the fucking Prairie?
1268
01:27:36,885 --> 01:27:39,327
I've missed you...
1269
01:27:39,596 --> 01:27:41,931
- All.
- You know, I, uh...
1270
01:27:41,932 --> 01:27:45,518
I got something to say.
My therapist...
1271
01:27:45,519 --> 01:27:47,145
Therapist? There we go,
that's some news.
1272
01:27:47,146 --> 01:27:49,355
Did you all know JJ is
now officially mad?
1273
01:27:49,356 --> 01:27:51,023
Er... Jess...
1274
01:27:51,024 --> 01:27:52,775
You see a therapist, too.
1275
01:27:52,776 --> 01:27:54,861
Yeah, of course, but all the best
people are mad, in my opinion.
1276
01:27:54,862 --> 01:27:57,220
My therapist
1277
01:27:57,322 --> 01:28:00,700
told me a story, a true
story about this guy
1278
01:28:00,701 --> 01:28:03,119
who survived jumping off
the Golden Gate bridge.
1279
01:28:03,120 --> 01:28:05,121
It's an anecdote,
it's not strictly news.
1280
01:28:05,122 --> 01:28:11,085
The moment he jumped he realised that
the only thing in his life he couldn't fix
1281
01:28:11,086 --> 01:28:13,694
was the thing he'd just done.
1282
01:28:13,881 --> 01:28:17,675
I mean, can you imagine those,
those five seconds as he fell?
1283
01:28:17,676 --> 01:28:19,886
The agony of that.
1284
01:28:19,887 --> 01:28:21,345
Well, to me...
1285
01:28:21,346 --> 01:28:28,830
It feels like I fell without
falling because of you guys.
1286
01:28:29,480 --> 01:28:35,884
I had my five seconds up on
that roof and not in the air.
1287
01:28:35,944 --> 01:28:39,845
Hmm. Five seconds.
1288
01:28:40,824 --> 01:28:43,764
We each gave each
other five seconds.
1289
01:28:44,495 --> 01:28:46,723
I like that, JJ.
1290
01:28:46,789 --> 01:28:52,210
And then five seconds turned into
a year, into a life sentence.
1291
01:28:52,211 --> 01:28:55,162
You people make me
want to kill myself.
1292
01:28:56,673 --> 01:28:58,049
Maureen, are you coming?
1293
01:28:58,050 --> 01:28:59,967
No, no, I'm just
talking to my friends.
1294
01:28:59,968 --> 01:29:02,970
It's almost midnight and we're
doing the Lambada, come on.
1295
01:29:02,971 --> 01:29:04,347
Maureen, where are you going?
1296
01:29:04,348 --> 01:29:05,890
Maureen!
1297
01:29:05,891 --> 01:29:07,141
Happy New Year!
1298
01:29:07,142 --> 01:29:09,454
OK.
1299
01:29:09,478 --> 01:29:13,731
OK, what just happened? Did Maureen just
make us look like we're the square ones?
1300
01:29:13,732 --> 01:29:17,819
Remember, you're the one who accused
her of having too many cats.
1301
01:29:17,820 --> 01:29:19,237
Time to sign off.
1302
01:29:19,238 --> 01:29:20,822
Happy New Year, Jess.
1303
01:29:20,823 --> 01:29:22,801
Happy New Year, Martin.
1304
01:29:25,077 --> 01:29:27,934
Happy New Year, Jess.
1305
01:29:28,205 --> 01:29:30,813
Happy New Year, John Julius.
1306
01:29:37,005 --> 01:29:40,466
We could go to a party, you know?
1307
01:29:40,467 --> 01:29:44,804
In case you were worried about
being upstaged by Maureen.
1308
01:29:44,805 --> 01:29:47,557
Well, that's just the
problem, though, isn't it?
1309
01:29:47,558 --> 01:29:50,226
I don't really want
to go to a party.
1310
01:29:50,227 --> 01:29:51,561
Yeah.
1311
01:29:51,562 --> 01:29:54,288
I think you've broken me.
1312
01:29:55,899 --> 01:29:58,443
- Don't smile.
- No?
1313
01:29:58,444 --> 01:30:00,278
- I will kill you...
- I know.
1314
01:30:00,279 --> 01:30:02,590
If you smile.
1315
01:30:11,498 --> 01:30:18,068
Come on. Up to bed, sleepy head.
There you go. Good girl.
1316
01:30:21,175 --> 01:30:25,344
There you go. Oh,
yes, there you go.
1317
01:30:25,345 --> 01:30:28,431
Is it midnight yet?
1318
01:30:28,432 --> 01:30:31,657
Yes, it is.
1319
01:30:32,186 --> 01:30:36,205
You made it. Another new year.
1320
01:30:37,024 --> 01:30:39,133
Here we go.