1 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:53,220 In 1974, President Richard Nixon resigned in disgrace... 2 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,972 ...amid the Watergate scandal. 3 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,432 One of the mysteries of the 20th century... 4 00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,726 ...pertains to the identity of Deep Throat... 5 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:03,897 ... the inside source who leaked the information to The Washington Post. 6 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,483 Who is Deep Throat? 7 00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,861 Tonight, my guests will answer that question. 8 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:10,362 Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein... 9 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:13,740 ...Post reporters who broke the story so many years ago. 10 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:17,119 -Nice to have you here. -Thank you for having us. 11 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,162 Let's just get right to it. 12 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,664 Who is... 13 00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:22,040 ...Deep Throat? 14 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,170 Well, first of all, we're not telling you. 15 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:33,093 Second, I was under the impression that I would be the only guest tonight. 16 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,012 Well, I guess you're not, Bob. 17 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,141 You know, you guys are getting pretty old now. 18 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:40,726 So what's your point? 19 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:44,146 I'm wondering, are you ever going to tell anybody... 20 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:45,689 ... who Deep Throat is... 21 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,232 ...before you die? 22 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,860 Well, a lot bigger names than you... 23 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,904 ...have asked us who Deep Throat is, so.... 24 00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:55,157 I don't think we'd reveal it on a little show like this. 25 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,950 You know what I think? 26 00:01:57,201 --> 00:02:00,120 I mean, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. 27 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:04,541 I don't think there is a Deep Throat. I think you made it up. 28 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:09,129 -Yes, there is. Deep Throat is-- -Don't say it! He's trying to trick us! 29 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,883 I'm sorry, Bob. 30 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,468 Don't ever touch me. 31 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,929 -Bob, I said I'm sorry. -Don't ever-- 32 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,389 You smell like cabbage. 33 00:02:58,554 --> 00:03:00,013 Oh, fudge! 34 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,041 Dear Bobby: 35 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,129 I'm having so much fun already. 36 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,464 I need you to concentrate. 37 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,216 -Dear Bobby: -Hold on, hold on. 38 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,468 -Here's the number one reason-- -Wait. 39 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:42,347 Arlene, I need to have time to review my letters. 40 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,475 -We have a deadline, Betsy. -I know. 41 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:49,104 But I need to concentrate. Let me just look at them. 42 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:50,898 Okay. Dear Bobby: 43 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:54,151 Here's the number one reason that I think-- 44 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,361 Okay, I'm ready. 45 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,530 "A." 46 00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,491 Dear Bobby: 47 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:05,913 Here's the number one reason that I think that you should choose me... 48 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,539 ...Arlene Lorenzo... 49 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,626 ...for the "Win A Date With Bobby Sherman" contest... 50 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:13,337 -...in Tiger Beat magazine. -Hold on. Wait. 51 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,963 Number one: I love you. 52 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,799 And number two: I just think you're cute. 53 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,761 B, B. Oh, my God, they're both together. 54 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:25,641 But the main reason that I think you should pick me, Arlene Lorenzo... 55 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,810 ...is because we're soul mates, Bobby. 56 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,439 You are so brilliant, Arlene. 57 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,026 So what do we have so far? 58 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,654 " Dear Bobb... 59 00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:40,447 ...y:" 60 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:45,285 I think maybe I could type faster than you. 61 00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:48,789 Four more years! Four more years! 62 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:54,545 -What are you looking at? -Nothing. 63 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,549 You seem pretty interested in nothing. 64 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,092 Give me those. 65 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,811 I'll take the one doing cartwheels. 66 00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:14,565 What time is it? 67 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,149 Shit! 68 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,240 The gemstone is glistening. 69 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,868 The gemstone is glistening. 70 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,721 She's finally asleep! 71 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:49,558 The deadline to enter the contest is midnight. We have to hurry. 72 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,561 We have to mail this letter. Go... 73 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:55,147 ...so I can win, or I swear I'll die. 74 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,405 -Evening, Mr. Whipple. -Evening. 75 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,741 Don't squeeze the Charmin. 76 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,035 -Hi, Dad. -Hi, Georgie. 77 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:11,246 -Can I carry the Charmin? -Yep, but no squeezing. 78 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,248 What did you do in the store today? 79 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,292 You should've seen it. 80 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,754 There I was, and these two ladies were squeezing the Charmin. 81 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:27,638 This way, we can get back in without having to go to the lobby. 82 00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:30,265 So nobody'll ever see us and tell my mom. 83 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,978 You're a genius! 84 00:06:58,710 --> 00:06:59,878 Down, down! 85 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,505 It's Fat Freddy. 86 00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:10,472 That is so disgusting. 87 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,808 Go, go, go! 88 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:35,956 What the--? 89 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,126 Oh, shit! 90 00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:44,006 Max, call the cops. Looks like we got a break-in here. 91 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,134 You know why I love Bobby? 92 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:50,762 Because he cares about people, but also about nature and ecology. 93 00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:54,850 I need a status report. Give me a 20 for gemstone. Over. 94 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:56,727 Jewel thieves! 95 00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:57,978 Really? 96 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,314 Hold it! 97 00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,319 Get away from us! 98 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,324 Young people running wild in the middle of the night. 99 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:16,663 By the time you're grown, you'll be living in the Soviet Union of America! 100 00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:28,842 She's still out like a light. 101 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,312 We have the suspects in custody! 102 00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,898 It was a jewel heist. 103 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,526 See if you can get any statements from them. 104 00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:50,405 Arlene? 105 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:51,823 Betsy? 106 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,326 What are you two doing up at this hour? 107 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,372 Nothing. 108 00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:02,835 Last night, five men were arrested in the Democratic Committee office... 109 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:05,754 ... during an attempted burglary at the Watergate complex. 110 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,214 It has been confirmed... 111 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:11,176 ... that one of the arrested was formerly an employee of the CIA. 112 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:14,012 Aren't you students excited... 113 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:18,809 ...about visiting the home of the President and the first family? 114 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,936 Well, not really. 115 00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:25,732 And after our tour, we're having lunch at McDonald's. 116 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,529 I love McDonald's so much! 117 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:33,031 French fries! French fries! 118 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,747 He looks like he's wearing blush. 119 00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:50,257 That guy has T.P. stuck to his shoe. 120 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:51,967 Hey, mister! 121 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,053 -Hey, you! -Shorty, turn around. 122 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,140 Young lady, I am a very busy man. 123 00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,641 Wait a minute, I know you. 124 00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:01,977 Me too. But from where? 125 00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,437 I don't know. 126 00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,606 Do you sell corn dogs at the mall? 127 00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:09,860 As far as you're concerned, I have no identity at all. 128 00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:11,695 As a matter of fact... 129 00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,906 ...l'm not even here. 130 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:17,284 He's way weirder than the corn-dog guy. 131 00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:20,996 And this isn't T.P. 132 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:24,625 It's a piece of paper with names and amounts of money on it. 133 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:26,919 " CREEP list"? 134 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:30,756 I guess all the people on that list must be creeps. 135 00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:32,925 Souvenir. 136 00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:35,219 Let's go. 137 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,143 Jesus, Gordon, they're just little girls. 138 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:47,856 They were in the Watergate last night. They know too much, Bob. 139 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,652 I want to interrogate them. 140 00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:57,241 I think you've done enough, what with bumbling the burglary and all. 141 00:10:57,616 --> 00:11:00,077 Just pay off all your guys on that CREEP list. 142 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:03,163 Don't worry about that. I've got that right here. 143 00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:08,001 G. Gordon Liddy isn't going to let down the President of the United States. 144 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:13,924 Would you ladies like to see the west wing of the White House? 145 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,184 Sorry. 146 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,272 This is fun. 147 00:11:29,815 --> 00:11:31,608 Look at that b-- 148 00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,154 Ladies... 149 00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:39,449 ...when you think of your President... 150 00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,118 ...do you think... 151 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,287 ...friendly thoughts? 152 00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:49,084 I don't think about him that much. 153 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,086 But when you do... 154 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,505 ...you don't think... 155 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:55,382 ...unfriendly thoughts, do you? 156 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:02,097 So you would never want to do anything that might... 157 00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:03,515 ...hurt... 158 00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:04,600 ...the President? 159 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:06,518 Never. No. 160 00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:08,103 Because you see-- 161 00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,482 Excuse me, Mr. Haldeman. 162 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,777 It's your wife. She says it's rather urgent. 163 00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:21,325 Excuse me, ladies. 164 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,123 Hello, dear. 165 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,211 Just putting out a little fire here. 166 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:35,047 I can stop by the store on the way home. 167 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,424 A dozen? The poppy kind. 168 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:41,178 I'll tell you the problem. The dog doesn't like me. 169 00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:45,933 Kennedy and Johnson had dogs that liked them. That's the problem. 170 00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:50,270 Mr. President, maybe you should show the dog more affection. 171 00:12:50,479 --> 00:12:52,564 Maybe I ought to fire you! 172 00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:55,317 Come on, boy. 173 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,612 Looks away. Doesn't look at me. 174 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,322 What'd I do to him? Nothing. 175 00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:02,866 You're supposed to love me, Checkers. 176 00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:05,994 Shouldn't you call him King Timahoe, sir? 177 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:09,790 Come here. 178 00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:11,667 Where's he going? 179 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,671 No, I am not uptight. 180 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,465 When did you start talking like that, anyway? 181 00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,301 What's going on in here? 182 00:13:24,263 --> 00:13:25,556 Mr. President, if I may. 183 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,516 Look how cute you are. Come here. 184 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:30,769 It's the President. 185 00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:35,482 I mean, all I asked for was a simple bugging, all right? 186 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,693 I don't know how many times we've done that. 187 00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:40,070 And here they go and screw it up. 188 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,448 Hi, puppy. Nice puppy! 189 00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:44,950 Nice puppy! 190 00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,744 Have you paid them off yet? 191 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:50,080 CREEP has made up a list of who to pay off... 192 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,207 ...and Liddy's taking care of it now. 193 00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:57,504 Are you the President's dog trainer? 194 00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:01,133 I'm John Dean, Chief White House Counsel. 195 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,469 That's too bad. 196 00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:07,598 Oh, thank you! 197 00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,349 That one lives in the Watergate. 198 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,768 They were there the night of the break-in. 199 00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:12,978 Do they know anything? 200 00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:15,564 I love your ears. Look at the ears! 201 00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:19,610 Sir, I've met yams with more going on upstairs than those two. 202 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,028 Now, Bob. 203 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,739 I remember when... 204 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:26,366 ...when Julie... 205 00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:28,827 ...and what's her name, Tricia... 206 00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:30,787 ...were that age. 207 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:35,834 If it wasn't about makeup or Frankie Avalon, they didn't give a hoot. 208 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,339 -You're the softest dog. -What should I do with them? 209 00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:42,841 I'll take care of it. 210 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:47,888 How're you doing, young ladies? 211 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,640 What are your names? 212 00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:52,476 I'm Betsy and this is Arlene, Mr. President. 213 00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,186 Call me Dick. 214 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:55,771 Hi, Dick. 215 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,022 How old are you? 216 00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:58,524 Fifteen. 217 00:14:59,274 --> 00:15:02,778 We have an urgent communiqu� from Anderson Air Force Base. 218 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:03,987 What? 219 00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:05,447 So cute. 220 00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:09,826 Excuse me, I wasn't informed that you are in the middle of.... 221 00:15:10,244 --> 00:15:11,995 What are you in the middle of? 222 00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:13,872 One minute, Henry. 223 00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:15,541 Young ladies... 224 00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,794 ...l've got a proposition for you. 225 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:22,256 How would you two be interested in being... 226 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:26,218 ...official White House dog walkers? What do you think? 227 00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:29,429 Really? 228 00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:32,307 Jesus! 229 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,393 Who are these little girls? 230 00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:37,145 I don't know, but it doesn't look constitutional to me. 231 00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:38,272 Thank you! 232 00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:41,191 -Thank you so much. -We're gonna walk you! 233 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,152 -I'm so happy. -Thank you. I'm really excited! 234 00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:45,988 Sure. Very good. 235 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,241 Mr. President, really, we have to make a decision... 236 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:52,995 ...regarding offensive action north of the 22nd parallel. 237 00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:54,997 Bottom line, Henry... 238 00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:57,916 ...is we bomb them or we don't, isn't it? 239 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,918 I wouldn't put it exactly in that-- 240 00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:01,837 I have something to say. 241 00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,088 Go on, Arlene. 242 00:16:04,715 --> 00:16:08,552 War is not healthy for children and other living things. 243 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:13,223 Henry, that's the voice of the youth of America. 244 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,767 Yeah, well, first of all... 245 00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:18,770 ...it wasn't a war that this administration started. 246 00:16:19,313 --> 00:16:21,857 Henry, Jesus, let's not start that. 247 00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,234 Isn't there somebody waiting out there for me? 248 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,361 The Joint Chiefs of Staff. Let's go! 249 00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:29,114 Welcome on board. Hey, good to have you. 250 00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:31,742 Mr. Haldeman, it's your wife. 251 00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,203 Have a great day. Congratulations! 252 00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:36,371 I don't have time to talk to her. 253 00:16:36,622 --> 00:16:40,042 -You're starting another war! -I don't have time to talk to her. 254 00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:43,253 If you have a problem with Vietnam, talk to Johnson. 255 00:16:43,504 --> 00:16:45,672 -He's dead! -Yeah, thank God. 256 00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:49,426 Do we bomb or not bomb? Let's get this done with today. 257 00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:58,602 There they are. 258 00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:04,191 I'm sorry! 259 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,193 We're coming! 260 00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:10,030 Because of your thoughtlessness... 261 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,075 ...we have missed the field trip lunch at McDonald's... 262 00:17:13,325 --> 00:17:17,120 ...which the students on the other buses are now enjoying. 263 00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:19,039 We will return to school... 264 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,458 ...for a cold lunch... 265 00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:23,210 ...in the cafeteria. 266 00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:27,089 But we really did meet the President. I swear to God. 267 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,801 And he did ask us to be the official White House dog walkers. 268 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,014 Every lie is another brick... 269 00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:39,309 ...in the pathway to hell. 270 00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:54,658 You're so stupid. 271 00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:57,202 I hate you. 272 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:42,039 Guess what happened to us today! 273 00:18:46,335 --> 00:18:47,377 What's the matter? 274 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,130 Your brother got his letter. 275 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:53,133 I got drafted. 276 00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:56,720 Now you can get my room, like you always wanted. 277 00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:09,858 Betsy, are you okay? 278 00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:14,488 I'm fine. 279 00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:19,618 I was wondering what we'll do with his crappy bed, dresser and nightstand. 280 00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:25,290 You think the President meant it when he said we could walk Checkers? 281 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:25,749 You think the President meant it when he said we could walk Checkers? 282 00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:28,877 He's the President, Betsy. He always means what he says. 283 00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:30,754 We should bake him cookies. 284 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:34,299 Let's make Hello Dollies. It's my mom's special recipe. 285 00:19:40,973 --> 00:19:44,852 All's my mom says is that my dad died in a car crash before I was born. 286 00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:47,604 You've never seen a single picture or anything? 287 00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:51,149 She said it upset her too much, so she threw everything away. 288 00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:56,071 No offense, but it's obvious you're being lied to. 289 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,323 The whole story is way too convenient. 290 00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:02,786 Is the butter melting? 291 00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:06,373 Are you making those cookies? 292 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,250 Yes, but you can't have any. 293 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,169 They're for the President. 294 00:20:13,589 --> 00:20:16,008 Don't forget the walnuts, man. 295 00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:24,516 So you really think that my father could be alive? 296 00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:27,769 Alive and famous. It makes perfect sense. 297 00:20:27,978 --> 00:20:29,313 He was probably married... 298 00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:32,983 ...and your mom had to keep it a secret to protect his reputation. 299 00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:39,156 How come there's little green leaves in the walnuts? 300 00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,700 Larry says they're just from the walnut tree. 301 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:43,285 Anyway... 302 00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:46,580 ...your dad could be watching you now, his heart breaking... 303 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:51,126 ...because he can't reach out to the only person that matters to him: 304 00:20:51,335 --> 00:20:53,420 His beautiful, darling daughter. 305 00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:55,797 My life is so tragic. 306 00:20:56,465 --> 00:20:58,592 Or it could be even worse. 307 00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:01,512 What if you fall in love and are about to marry... 308 00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:04,306 ...and you find out your fianc�'s dad is your dad too... 309 00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:06,183 ...and that you're brother and sister! 310 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:07,684 Oh, my God! 311 00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:10,604 It's called incest, Arlene... 312 00:21:11,063 --> 00:21:12,940 ...and it's against the law. 313 00:21:25,077 --> 00:21:28,247 We're here to play with Checkers. The President knows about it. 314 00:21:28,497 --> 00:21:31,166 You're not on the appointment list. Please step back. 315 00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:35,546 The President wants us to walk his dog, Checkers. 316 00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:39,675 Please step back. If you don't comply, you'll be removed. 317 00:21:42,845 --> 00:21:44,471 You are a meanie! 318 00:21:48,851 --> 00:21:50,018 Stupid kids. 319 00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:53,522 I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! 320 00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:57,025 I can't believe I ate that whole thing. 321 00:21:57,234 --> 00:21:58,610 You ate it, Ralph. 322 00:22:02,239 --> 00:22:06,577 Doesn't anybody realize that Kung Fu isn't Chinese? 323 00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:11,331 He doesn't even look Chinese. He looks like the mailman. 324 00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:15,210 Why don't you go to Canada like Mom says? 325 00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:19,548 Too much information's coming in. I have to maintain. 326 00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:21,592 But the old drugs aren't working. 327 00:22:22,134 --> 00:22:24,428 We need to create new drugs. 328 00:22:27,472 --> 00:22:29,766 Have you guys been eating those cookies? 329 00:22:30,017 --> 00:22:32,060 We gave them to Mom and Dad to taste. 330 00:22:32,311 --> 00:22:35,606 They ate all of them and started giggling and went upstairs. 331 00:22:35,856 --> 00:22:37,274 I think they're having sex now. 332 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:46,366 I have an idea. 333 00:22:46,992 --> 00:22:47,826 What? 334 00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:50,537 Let's ask the President to stop the war. 335 00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:55,292 How will we get into the White House? 336 00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:59,046 Unless you wanna keep the war going, so you can have Larry's room. 337 00:23:02,633 --> 00:23:04,635 Larry's a freak and all... 338 00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:07,763 ...but I'd be sad if he, you know.... 339 00:23:09,473 --> 00:23:10,349 Died? 340 00:23:13,852 --> 00:23:15,687 I really hope that this works. 341 00:23:15,938 --> 00:23:16,772 Of course it will. 342 00:23:17,022 --> 00:23:19,191 You're the smartest person I know. 343 00:23:21,026 --> 00:23:22,736 But you don't know anybody. 344 00:23:35,999 --> 00:23:37,251 If you flirt with him... 345 00:23:37,501 --> 00:23:41,213 ...then I can stand off to the side and do my special whistle. 346 00:24:04,278 --> 00:24:07,197 I like your hair. It's really dry look. 347 00:24:11,451 --> 00:24:12,953 Okay, stop that. 348 00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:15,247 We have to talk to the President. 349 00:24:15,706 --> 00:24:16,874 Code yellow, central corridor. 350 00:24:17,124 --> 00:24:19,251 Code yellow, central corridor. 351 00:24:20,252 --> 00:24:21,128 Oh, my God! 352 00:24:22,171 --> 00:24:23,755 Ladies, this way. 353 00:24:24,882 --> 00:24:25,883 Let's go. 354 00:24:27,301 --> 00:24:30,053 Make sure photographers are outside the restaurant... 355 00:24:30,304 --> 00:24:31,763 ...when I come out after lunch. 356 00:24:34,141 --> 00:24:36,101 Hey, German guy! Remember us? 357 00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:39,229 We're here to walk Checkers and talk to Dick about the war! 358 00:24:41,273 --> 00:24:42,482 I know them. 359 00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:45,068 Yes, that's all right. That's okay. 360 00:24:45,277 --> 00:24:47,571 I'm familiar with these young ladies. 361 00:24:47,779 --> 00:24:50,866 Well, I'm not "familiar" familiar. I know them. 362 00:24:51,116 --> 00:24:54,536 We've had discussions about foreign policy and.... 363 00:24:54,786 --> 00:24:56,914 What, what? Don't you give me that look. 364 00:24:57,706 --> 00:24:59,041 I'll take responsibility. 365 00:24:59,291 --> 00:25:01,418 I'll be the only person who's willing... 366 00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:03,212 ...to take responsibility for anything. 367 00:25:03,462 --> 00:25:06,089 -I think I got bruised. -Did somebody hurt you? 368 00:25:07,424 --> 00:25:10,385 You have to remember it took Charles de Gaulle... 369 00:25:10,636 --> 00:25:13,639 ...four years to extricate himself from Algeria. 370 00:25:13,889 --> 00:25:16,350 Not that I'm comparing myself to de Gaulle. 371 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,144 -Wars are extremely hard to stop. -You're right. 372 00:25:19,353 --> 00:25:22,064 Rose, these young-- You're very becoming this morning. 373 00:25:22,272 --> 00:25:24,191 These ladies want to see the President. 374 00:25:24,399 --> 00:25:28,320 Our President has the weight of the free world on his shoulders... 375 00:25:28,529 --> 00:25:31,031 ...and he doesn't have time to see any old person. 376 00:25:32,407 --> 00:25:33,242 Hello, girls. 377 00:25:33,492 --> 00:25:34,785 How are you? 378 00:25:35,035 --> 00:25:35,869 Come on in. 379 00:25:36,078 --> 00:25:38,163 The President will see you now. 380 00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:41,792 Not you, Henry. 381 00:25:42,042 --> 00:25:44,670 That's all right. I'm late for an interview anyway... 382 00:25:45,337 --> 00:25:48,173 -...with the Nobel Committee. -Right. 383 00:25:49,216 --> 00:25:50,926 I'll be a monkey's uncle... 384 00:25:51,134 --> 00:25:54,429 ...if these aren't the yummiest cookies I've ever had. 385 00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:58,308 Thanks. It's a secret recipe. 386 00:25:58,767 --> 00:25:59,726 Secret, eh? 387 00:26:00,143 --> 00:26:01,103 Anyway... 388 00:26:02,229 --> 00:26:04,481 ...there doesn't seem to be any point to it. 389 00:26:04,815 --> 00:26:06,108 Point to what? 390 00:26:07,192 --> 00:26:08,151 The war. 391 00:26:12,197 --> 00:26:13,615 See, girls... 392 00:26:14,366 --> 00:26:18,787 ...we're fighting the Communists because Communism is immoral. 393 00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:20,622 That's the whole point. 394 00:26:21,373 --> 00:26:24,084 Don't you think it's more important what's going on here? 395 00:26:24,334 --> 00:26:25,377 What do you mean? 396 00:26:26,128 --> 00:26:28,172 Well, I mean... 397 00:26:28,380 --> 00:26:30,674 ...nobody at our school's worried about Communism... 398 00:26:30,924 --> 00:26:34,720 ...but everybody talks about Mac Washington because he got killed there. 399 00:26:34,970 --> 00:26:38,015 -And Betsy's brother just got drafted. -He's maintaining. 400 00:26:38,265 --> 00:26:39,516 He's maintaining? 401 00:26:40,767 --> 00:26:41,852 Good for him. 402 00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:46,356 I think people would like you better if you stopped the war. 403 00:26:46,607 --> 00:26:50,277 Well, don't worry your pretty little heads. Okay? 404 00:26:50,527 --> 00:26:52,696 I think we know what we're doing. 405 00:26:54,740 --> 00:26:55,949 I guess so. 406 00:27:00,996 --> 00:27:02,080 Can we walk Checkers now? 407 00:27:02,372 --> 00:27:04,374 Yeah, go ahead. Have a ball. 408 00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:06,710 Secret recipe, eh? 409 00:27:07,753 --> 00:27:09,421 I'm feeling lightheaded. 410 00:27:10,464 --> 00:27:12,382 These are scrumptious. 411 00:27:13,050 --> 00:27:15,928 I've gotta tell you, I haven't felt this way in-- 412 00:27:29,233 --> 00:27:31,777 Again? They must never let him out. 413 00:27:32,152 --> 00:27:34,696 I know. Would you look at all that shit? 414 00:27:35,197 --> 00:27:37,032 Oh, I mean, poo-poo. 415 00:27:39,576 --> 00:27:41,662 I think it was left. 416 00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:45,999 That's because you couldn't go right. 417 00:27:50,963 --> 00:27:52,548 Well, let's ask someone. 418 00:27:55,676 --> 00:27:56,844 Or not. 419 00:27:57,511 --> 00:27:58,345 Come on. 420 00:27:58,595 --> 00:28:00,514 Let's go, Checkers. Come on. 421 00:28:05,435 --> 00:28:07,187 Who the hell are you? 422 00:28:08,397 --> 00:28:12,234 We're walking the dog, Checkers, and we sort of got lost. 423 00:28:12,442 --> 00:28:14,486 We went left because you couldn't go right. 424 00:28:14,736 --> 00:28:17,281 And we're looking for the President's office... 425 00:28:17,531 --> 00:28:20,284 ...because that's who we walk the dog for. 426 00:28:20,492 --> 00:28:21,577 We're really sorry. 427 00:28:21,827 --> 00:28:22,661 Shit! 428 00:28:28,292 --> 00:28:29,376 Oh, I'm so sorry. 429 00:28:29,626 --> 00:28:32,838 -We brought your dog back. -We didn't know! 430 00:28:33,088 --> 00:28:34,798 What in bejesus is going on? 431 00:28:41,138 --> 00:28:42,472 All right, settle down. 432 00:28:42,806 --> 00:28:44,516 What's going on, Bob? 433 00:28:44,725 --> 00:28:46,435 They walked in on the shredding. 434 00:28:47,394 --> 00:28:50,355 They actually saw documents being shredded? 435 00:28:51,398 --> 00:28:53,734 And the cash for the payoffs. 436 00:28:55,319 --> 00:28:57,154 Checkers pooped. 437 00:28:58,113 --> 00:29:01,992 The President's dog doesn't poop. He "does his business." 438 00:29:03,952 --> 00:29:05,287 I'll take care of it. 439 00:29:05,621 --> 00:29:08,916 I've got a way with young people. They trust me. 440 00:29:09,958 --> 00:29:12,211 Why were they shredding all that paper? 441 00:29:13,128 --> 00:29:16,256 Papier-m�ch� is a hobby of mine. 442 00:29:17,508 --> 00:29:19,468 Nice painting of a boat. 443 00:29:20,010 --> 00:29:21,637 Step right here, actually. 444 00:29:22,930 --> 00:29:26,141 I want to have a little private chat with you. 445 00:29:26,517 --> 00:29:27,434 You know, today... 446 00:29:27,643 --> 00:29:32,481 ...you ladies gave me some very, very good counsel in foreign affairs. 447 00:29:32,731 --> 00:29:37,486 So in addition to being official dog walkers... 448 00:29:37,736 --> 00:29:41,657 ...l'd like you to be my Secret Youth Advisers. 449 00:29:41,865 --> 00:29:44,368 Which means you mustn't say a thing... 450 00:29:44,618 --> 00:29:47,704 ...about anything that happens in the White House. 451 00:29:47,955 --> 00:29:49,748 Do I have your word on that? 452 00:29:51,416 --> 00:29:52,918 Swear to God? 453 00:29:53,335 --> 00:29:54,461 -Promise. -Hope to die? 454 00:29:54,837 --> 00:29:56,922 Stick a needle in my eye! 455 00:29:58,465 --> 00:30:00,133 Congratulations. 456 00:30:05,681 --> 00:30:07,933 Are you sure, man? Are we sure it's over? 457 00:30:08,183 --> 00:30:09,268 Honey... 458 00:30:09,518 --> 00:30:13,480 ...it's the President. He's on national TV. 459 00:30:13,689 --> 00:30:17,860 If he says the war is over, I think you can believe him. 460 00:30:19,236 --> 00:30:20,404 Sweetie. 461 00:30:20,696 --> 00:30:23,574 At 12.:30 Paris-time today... 462 00:30:23,824 --> 00:30:27,244 ...January 23, 1973.... 463 00:30:28,287 --> 00:30:29,872 What's going on? 464 00:30:31,707 --> 00:30:33,417 I'm gonna live. 465 00:30:33,876 --> 00:30:36,837 They're pulling everybody out of Vietnam. The war's over. 466 00:30:37,796 --> 00:30:39,339 I don't believe it. 467 00:30:40,215 --> 00:30:41,425 She's bumming... 468 00:30:41,633 --> 00:30:44,970 ...because her dreams of being an only child are dashed. 469 00:30:45,387 --> 00:30:47,055 Larry, stop it. 470 00:30:48,724 --> 00:30:50,309 I'm not supposed to tell you this. 471 00:30:51,143 --> 00:30:54,813 But Arlene and I are the ones who asked the President to stop the war. 472 00:30:55,564 --> 00:30:57,774 We did it because we felt sorry for you. 473 00:30:58,775 --> 00:31:00,402 You should be thanking me. 474 00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:04,573 I just want you to know... 475 00:31:04,823 --> 00:31:07,326 ...whatever she's on, I didn't give it to her. 476 00:31:10,037 --> 00:31:12,706 Well, all right. Grooving right along. 477 00:31:13,123 --> 00:31:16,835 Betsy Jobs, your turn to come on up and express yourself. 478 00:31:25,010 --> 00:31:26,512 Current events. 479 00:31:29,014 --> 00:31:33,060 I probably shouldn't be telling you this because of national security... 480 00:31:34,269 --> 00:31:35,604 ...but what the heck. 481 00:31:36,021 --> 00:31:38,273 Arlene Lorenzo and l... 482 00:31:38,899 --> 00:31:41,610 ...are Secret Youth Advisers for President Nixon. 483 00:31:42,194 --> 00:31:45,364 "--in addition to being the official White House dog walkers. 484 00:31:45,614 --> 00:31:48,200 It's fun being a Secret Youth Adviser. 485 00:31:48,492 --> 00:31:51,119 The President trusts us with national issues." 486 00:31:51,370 --> 00:31:53,747 We bake him cookies called Hello Dollies... 487 00:31:53,997 --> 00:31:56,166 ...that he loves and are easy to make. 488 00:31:56,458 --> 00:32:00,170 You get graham cracker crumbs, sweetened condensed milk... 489 00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:02,965 ...and all this other stuff, and you bake them. 490 00:32:03,215 --> 00:32:05,384 But they're really good. 491 00:32:05,634 --> 00:32:08,345 " I like being a Secret Youth Adviser to the President... 492 00:32:08,595 --> 00:32:12,057 ...because it means I am helping to run the country. The end." 493 00:32:14,685 --> 00:32:16,979 How dare you... 494 00:32:17,271 --> 00:32:19,606 ...come up in front of the class... 495 00:32:20,065 --> 00:32:23,485 ...and make up lies about our President? 496 00:32:23,944 --> 00:32:26,572 Absolutely wild. 497 00:32:27,197 --> 00:32:31,785 And I really dug the way you used fantasy... 498 00:32:31,994 --> 00:32:32,995 ...current events... 499 00:32:33,245 --> 00:32:37,666 ...and cooking in a kind of tapestry of storytelling. 500 00:32:38,125 --> 00:32:39,418 Thank you, Betsy. 501 00:32:39,668 --> 00:32:42,588 That was real special. Thank you. Give her a hand. 502 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:44,339 Thank you. Thanks. 503 00:32:50,429 --> 00:32:51,930 Got the cookies? 504 00:33:04,776 --> 00:33:06,945 I've been dreaming about these. 505 00:33:12,201 --> 00:33:13,202 What's that mean? 506 00:33:14,286 --> 00:33:15,287 Peace. 507 00:33:16,121 --> 00:33:17,080 Good. 508 00:33:17,623 --> 00:33:19,082 I mean... 509 00:33:19,583 --> 00:33:20,751 ...groovy. 510 00:33:23,587 --> 00:33:24,713 Come on, Checkers. 511 00:34:37,744 --> 00:34:40,289 There's something different about you. 512 00:34:40,998 --> 00:34:42,916 Why aren't you wearing your glasses? 513 00:34:43,166 --> 00:34:45,127 Because I got contact lenses. 514 00:34:51,175 --> 00:34:53,177 -Looks cool! -Thanks! 515 00:34:54,178 --> 00:34:55,053 Hi, Rose. 516 00:34:55,304 --> 00:34:57,973 It is imperative that we put a freeze... 517 00:34:58,223 --> 00:35:01,185 ...on nuclear weapons of mass destruction. 518 00:35:03,437 --> 00:35:06,398 Yeah, I know what nyet, nyet means. 519 00:35:07,065 --> 00:35:09,109 Excuse me a moment, Leonid. 520 00:35:12,070 --> 00:35:14,072 Settle down, Checkers. 521 00:35:14,823 --> 00:35:16,658 Hello, girls. How are you? 522 00:35:16,909 --> 00:35:18,869 Are these what I think they are? 523 00:35:20,829 --> 00:35:21,747 Nice to see you. 524 00:35:23,832 --> 00:35:26,668 You gotta try one of these cookies. 525 00:35:27,085 --> 00:35:31,507 I assure you, there's nothing like them in all the Soviet Union. 526 00:35:32,382 --> 00:35:33,592 Go ahead. 527 00:35:36,637 --> 00:35:38,680 They're called Hello Dollies. 528 00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:46,188 What are they? 529 00:35:47,814 --> 00:35:49,566 What do you think, Leonid? 530 00:35:52,653 --> 00:35:54,154 Hello Dollies, eh? 531 00:35:58,951 --> 00:36:01,328 Hello, Dolly 532 00:36:01,620 --> 00:36:04,665 Well, hello, Dolly 533 00:36:04,915 --> 00:36:09,461 It's so nice to have you back Where you belong 534 00:36:11,672 --> 00:36:12,840 Sing something. 535 00:36:13,090 --> 00:36:17,010 You're looking swell, Dolly I can tell, Dolly 536 00:36:17,928 --> 00:36:22,015 You're still glowing You're still growing 537 00:36:22,266 --> 00:36:25,352 You're still going strong 538 00:36:29,398 --> 00:36:30,357 You know, girls... 539 00:36:30,607 --> 00:36:33,402 ...l think your cookies have just saved the world... 540 00:36:33,652 --> 00:36:36,029 ...from nuclear catastrophe. 541 00:36:39,366 --> 00:36:41,785 There you go, Leonid. Hello, Dolly. 542 00:36:42,327 --> 00:36:45,539 Golly gee, fellas 543 00:36:45,789 --> 00:36:49,334 I'll have another of those 544 00:37:35,464 --> 00:37:37,591 Come away with me. 545 00:37:38,425 --> 00:37:40,135 But what about Pat? 546 00:37:40,469 --> 00:37:42,387 She understands. 547 00:39:14,188 --> 00:39:15,480 Arlene, watch out! 548 00:39:19,818 --> 00:39:21,945 Oh, my God! Are you all right? 549 00:39:22,321 --> 00:39:24,698 Quick, tell me what your name is! 550 00:39:25,532 --> 00:39:27,326 Rhoda Morgenstern. 551 00:39:29,870 --> 00:39:31,955 I am so embarrassed. 552 00:39:32,623 --> 00:39:35,501 -I don't think anyone saw. -Freak! 553 00:39:46,220 --> 00:39:48,514 Has something been on your mind lately? 554 00:39:51,391 --> 00:39:53,352 There isn't some deep feeling... 555 00:39:53,602 --> 00:39:56,396 ...you need to confess to your best and only friend? 556 00:39:56,647 --> 00:39:57,856 What are you talking about? 557 00:39:58,106 --> 00:39:59,816 -Just say it! -Say what? 558 00:40:00,067 --> 00:40:01,902 Just say it, because I already know! 559 00:40:02,152 --> 00:40:04,238 All right, I love Dick! 560 00:40:13,163 --> 00:40:16,708 This is everything about him and us since we first met. 561 00:40:19,002 --> 00:40:20,879 Here's me as his wife. 562 00:40:21,296 --> 00:40:23,715 -It looks so real. -Thank you. 563 00:40:26,134 --> 00:40:29,096 -This is cartoon Dick. -It's cute. I like that one. 564 00:40:30,180 --> 00:40:32,307 This is our White House souvenir. 565 00:40:33,308 --> 00:40:35,727 Look, I found these old magazine clippings... 566 00:40:35,978 --> 00:40:38,188 ...with stuff about him when he was young. 567 00:40:38,564 --> 00:40:39,606 Look. 568 00:40:40,482 --> 00:40:43,151 He's way more distinguished now. 569 00:40:44,945 --> 00:40:48,866 A jury today convicted G. Gordon Liddy and James McCord... 570 00:40:49,116 --> 00:40:52,828 ... of eight counts, including burglary, in the Watergate break-in. 571 00:40:53,078 --> 00:40:56,123 Enough already. I am sick of Watergate. 572 00:40:56,373 --> 00:40:58,500 And I am sick of Woodward and Bernstein. 573 00:40:59,626 --> 00:41:00,460 Who are they? 574 00:41:00,669 --> 00:41:02,629 Snot-nosed Washington Post reporters... 575 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,132 ...who are trying to disgrace the President. 576 00:41:05,382 --> 00:41:07,009 Anybody want some more Jell-O? 577 00:41:07,301 --> 00:41:08,552 Yes, please. Here. 578 00:41:09,219 --> 00:41:10,137 Betsy, look. 579 00:41:10,387 --> 00:41:11,889 One more question, Mr. Liddy. 580 00:41:12,514 --> 00:41:16,518 -The White House denied involvement. -He's so familiar. 581 00:41:17,561 --> 00:41:19,146 It's that weird guy! 582 00:41:19,771 --> 00:41:22,482 -What was he doing at the White House? -I don't know. 583 00:41:24,193 --> 00:41:25,777 Done! We're going upstairs. 584 00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:28,947 A spokesman for the administration once again... 585 00:41:29,198 --> 00:41:32,492 ... denied any participation in the Watergate burglary. 586 00:41:32,743 --> 00:41:36,330 President Nixon is said to be in seclusion with advisers. 587 00:41:38,707 --> 00:41:40,375 It's starting. 588 00:41:46,423 --> 00:41:48,008 Goddamn it! 589 00:41:52,679 --> 00:41:54,515 Mr. President, this is Arlene. 590 00:41:57,017 --> 00:41:59,770 -Hello, Arlene. -I'm not waking you, am l? 591 00:42:00,103 --> 00:42:01,897 I'm a night owl. 592 00:42:02,564 --> 00:42:04,525 What's the deal with that Watergate thing? 593 00:42:04,775 --> 00:42:06,610 Do you know anything about it? 594 00:42:09,530 --> 00:42:12,908 No, no, absolutely nothing. I don't know a thing. 595 00:42:13,158 --> 00:42:15,035 No way, Jos�! 596 00:42:15,285 --> 00:42:17,079 Because I live in the Watergate... 597 00:42:17,412 --> 00:42:20,749 ...and one time we saw that Liddy guy there... 598 00:42:21,041 --> 00:42:25,128 ...then we saw him at the White House, and now he's gonna go to jail. 599 00:42:28,799 --> 00:42:31,218 Is there something I can do for you... 600 00:42:31,468 --> 00:42:33,053 ... or your family? 601 00:42:34,555 --> 00:42:37,432 There must be something you desire. 602 00:42:39,810 --> 00:42:41,645 I have to go now. Good night. 603 00:42:44,398 --> 00:42:46,024 My sweet prince. 604 00:42:46,275 --> 00:42:47,860 I think he's a vampire. 605 00:42:48,485 --> 00:42:50,863 But he doesn't even have a tuxedo. 606 00:42:51,446 --> 00:42:54,116 Oh, Myrna, you are something. 607 00:42:54,366 --> 00:42:56,159 You are really something. 608 00:43:02,291 --> 00:43:05,043 Pat, will you stop snoring, goddamn it! 609 00:43:05,294 --> 00:43:07,671 My head is about to explode! 610 00:43:09,923 --> 00:43:11,884 So you're the President's lawyer? 611 00:43:16,638 --> 00:43:18,724 Why does the President need a lawyer? 612 00:43:22,477 --> 00:43:25,022 Good question. I just.... 613 00:43:27,149 --> 00:43:27,983 I don't know. 614 00:43:32,446 --> 00:43:34,489 -It's you two. -Mr. President. 615 00:43:34,740 --> 00:43:38,035 The Attorney General is waiting upstairs, sir. 616 00:43:38,285 --> 00:43:39,328 Didn't I fire him? 617 00:43:39,578 --> 00:43:40,954 It's the new one, sir. 618 00:43:52,216 --> 00:43:54,718 -We're here to walk Checkers. -Oh, my goodness! 619 00:43:54,968 --> 00:43:59,556 I'm so busy that I sometimes forget about the rest of God's creatures. 620 00:44:01,308 --> 00:44:04,102 Here. I'll be back after lunch. 621 00:44:17,783 --> 00:44:18,992 Look. 622 00:44:19,243 --> 00:44:21,370 We should leave a message for Dick. 623 00:44:21,662 --> 00:44:22,996 Like what? 624 00:44:28,669 --> 00:44:31,380 I think it's time you told him how you feel. 625 00:44:33,632 --> 00:44:34,716 I can't. 626 00:44:34,967 --> 00:44:38,220 Maybe he loves you too, but he doesn't think you're interested. 627 00:44:42,015 --> 00:44:44,142 If you care for him at all... 628 00:44:44,810 --> 00:44:46,228 ...you'll tell him. 629 00:44:49,690 --> 00:44:51,900 Okay, you just have to go first. 630 00:45:01,410 --> 00:45:02,703 Hi, Mr. President! 631 00:45:03,036 --> 00:45:04,913 This is Betsy and Arlene. 632 00:45:05,122 --> 00:45:09,334 We wanted to thank you for letting us be your Secret Youth Advisers... 633 00:45:09,668 --> 00:45:12,921 ...and for letting us walk Checkers... 634 00:45:13,130 --> 00:45:14,423 ...and for.... 635 00:45:17,176 --> 00:45:18,051 Well.... 636 00:45:18,343 --> 00:45:20,762 I don't know what else for, so here's Arlene. 637 00:45:21,013 --> 00:45:24,141 She has something very personal to tell you. 638 00:45:26,685 --> 00:45:28,020 I love you. 639 00:45:32,733 --> 00:45:35,944 I know that you have a lot of things on your mind... 640 00:45:36,195 --> 00:45:38,405 ...because you're the President and all. 641 00:45:41,074 --> 00:45:43,869 But I can't keep my feelings inside any longer. 642 00:45:44,203 --> 00:45:46,288 I've never felt this way about anyone... 643 00:45:46,538 --> 00:45:48,749 ...not even about Bobby Sherman, who I adore... 644 00:45:48,999 --> 00:45:52,002 ...but now I realize that that was just puppy love... 645 00:45:52,503 --> 00:45:53,837 ...and this is the real thing. 646 00:45:54,087 --> 00:45:55,881 Hey, Checkers. Hi, sweetie. 647 00:45:56,131 --> 00:45:59,801 I realize you're married and that we can never really be together... 648 00:46:00,177 --> 00:46:01,470 ...but I'll love you forever. 649 00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:03,222 Good boy. 650 00:46:04,848 --> 00:46:05,974 Poo-poo. 651 00:46:06,808 --> 00:46:09,478 There's this song by Olivia Newton-John... 652 00:46:09,937 --> 00:46:12,981 ...that I think best describes the way I feel about you. 653 00:46:14,274 --> 00:46:16,026 It goes like this: 654 00:46:17,819 --> 00:46:19,821 I love you 655 00:46:20,656 --> 00:46:23,075 I honestly love you 656 00:46:24,576 --> 00:46:27,454 You don't have to answer 657 00:46:27,913 --> 00:46:30,916 I could see it in your eyes 658 00:46:31,375 --> 00:46:33,752 But it's coming from my heart 659 00:46:34,002 --> 00:46:37,714 And not my head 660 00:46:39,174 --> 00:46:42,302 And then there was that time... 661 00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:44,930 ...when you put your hand on my shoulder... 662 00:46:45,681 --> 00:46:49,685 ...and I got this warm, tingly feeling inside. 663 00:46:50,143 --> 00:46:53,355 And I knew, right then, at that moment-- 664 00:46:53,605 --> 00:46:55,315 They'll be back soon. 665 00:46:55,566 --> 00:46:57,985 You've been on for 1 8 1 l2 minutes. 666 00:46:59,570 --> 00:47:01,488 I have to go now. Goodbye. 667 00:47:01,947 --> 00:47:03,824 I can't believe you were talking that whole time. 668 00:47:04,074 --> 00:47:05,659 What did you say? 669 00:47:06,702 --> 00:47:07,744 Stuff. 670 00:47:08,245 --> 00:47:09,580 It's personal. 671 00:47:09,830 --> 00:47:11,582 I want to make sure it recorded. 672 00:47:14,918 --> 00:47:17,629 Hunt's link to Colson is a problem. 673 00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:19,590 I must've pushed fast-forward. 674 00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:26,680 We can arrange for Hunt to disappear in Latin America. 675 00:47:26,930 --> 00:47:30,475 And we could always un-disappear him if we want to. 676 00:47:34,855 --> 00:47:36,648 Get down off of me, Checkers. 677 00:47:36,857 --> 00:47:39,151 Get down off of me, you piece of shit! 678 00:47:42,029 --> 00:47:46,450 So let me tell you something. We are going to use any means. 679 00:47:51,288 --> 00:47:54,625 I just don't want this whole fucking Watergate business... 680 00:47:54,875 --> 00:47:56,001 ...biting me in the ass! 681 00:47:56,251 --> 00:47:59,129 You know the goddamn Jews are out to get me! 682 00:48:04,843 --> 00:48:06,887 I don't think the President of the U.S.... 683 00:48:07,137 --> 00:48:09,890 ...should be recording conversations like that. 684 00:48:15,604 --> 00:48:16,563 Make it 8:30. 685 00:48:16,813 --> 00:48:18,065 Okay, will do. 686 00:48:19,441 --> 00:48:20,567 Girls... 687 00:48:20,817 --> 00:48:22,694 ...did Checkers do his business? 688 00:48:24,738 --> 00:48:26,281 -Excellent. -Good, good. 689 00:48:26,532 --> 00:48:29,701 I hope you left me some of those yummy cookies. 690 00:48:30,285 --> 00:48:31,495 Take care. 691 00:48:33,455 --> 00:48:35,123 We have to go. 692 00:48:37,543 --> 00:48:38,919 Oh, my stars! 693 00:48:53,809 --> 00:48:55,519 Sounds very important. 694 00:48:57,145 --> 00:48:58,397 It is. 695 00:49:00,107 --> 00:49:01,567 Mr. President? 696 00:49:02,359 --> 00:49:03,360 What is it, Bob? 697 00:49:03,610 --> 00:49:06,238 I was wondering if you had that package ready for me... 698 00:49:06,488 --> 00:49:08,407 ...to take home over the weekend? 699 00:49:09,533 --> 00:49:11,869 Yeah, the musical tapes. 700 00:49:13,954 --> 00:49:17,583 Bob and I are very big fans of Guy Lombardo. 701 00:49:18,750 --> 00:49:20,544 I taped them myself. 702 00:49:21,003 --> 00:49:22,129 Let me know what you think. 703 00:49:22,379 --> 00:49:23,505 I will, sir. 704 00:49:28,260 --> 00:49:29,928 You were saying, Arlene? 705 00:49:31,722 --> 00:49:34,474 We don't think you've been completely honest with us. 706 00:49:34,766 --> 00:49:38,854 If this is about that Watergate nonsense... 707 00:49:39,313 --> 00:49:40,856 ...let me say once again... 708 00:49:41,106 --> 00:49:43,525 ...l had nothing to do with it, okay? 709 00:49:43,901 --> 00:49:47,362 It's a plot created by my enemies to disgrace me! 710 00:49:47,613 --> 00:49:52,034 Those radical, muckraking bastards, Woodward and Bernstein... 711 00:49:52,284 --> 00:49:53,535 ...at The Washington Post! 712 00:49:53,785 --> 00:49:55,704 They're the liars here, you know! 713 00:49:56,038 --> 00:49:59,082 Always hiding behind the goddamn First Amendment! 714 00:49:59,416 --> 00:50:00,918 Let me tell you something! 715 00:50:01,210 --> 00:50:04,296 It won't protect them from me! 716 00:50:06,798 --> 00:50:09,510 Actually, it was just about the dog. 717 00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,137 You act like you like him... 718 00:50:12,346 --> 00:50:13,931 ...but we don't think you do. 719 00:50:15,390 --> 00:50:16,683 What dog? 720 00:50:19,561 --> 00:50:23,232 Now that you mention it, people are talking about Watergate... 721 00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:24,816 ...and they say you lied. 722 00:50:25,067 --> 00:50:27,027 And I'm Jewish. 723 00:50:27,402 --> 00:50:28,737 I know. 724 00:50:29,780 --> 00:50:31,406 I had you checked out. 725 00:50:34,243 --> 00:50:37,788 There's probably more in there than you know about yourselves. 726 00:50:40,123 --> 00:50:41,583 Even grades? 727 00:50:41,917 --> 00:50:43,377 Grades... 728 00:50:43,794 --> 00:50:46,630 ...your parents' income tax returns... 729 00:50:47,464 --> 00:50:50,133 ...overdue library books. 730 00:50:50,384 --> 00:50:52,803 The whole kit and caboodle. 731 00:50:55,722 --> 00:50:58,183 Is there stuff about my father in there? 732 00:50:59,726 --> 00:51:00,561 Who was he? 733 00:51:00,811 --> 00:51:04,815 A lady's shoe salesman at Garfinkle's or some such place. 734 00:51:05,065 --> 00:51:08,110 Got hit by a garbage truck at the age of 24. 735 00:51:08,986 --> 00:51:11,280 Your mom never said it was a garbage truck. 736 00:51:11,530 --> 00:51:14,533 Strictly small time. Never amounted to much. 737 00:51:18,829 --> 00:51:20,873 Well, at least he wasn't a liar. 738 00:51:22,374 --> 00:51:24,084 We heard that tape! 739 00:51:24,376 --> 00:51:26,628 -What'd you hear? -You kick Checkers! 740 00:51:26,837 --> 00:51:29,965 And you're prejudiced, and you have a potty-mouth! 741 00:51:30,174 --> 00:51:32,426 You're a bad man! 742 00:51:32,676 --> 00:51:35,220 You stinking little idiots, get out of here! 743 00:51:35,470 --> 00:51:37,639 And don't ever come back here again! 744 00:51:39,808 --> 00:51:42,060 You don't mess with the big boys! 745 00:51:46,607 --> 00:51:47,608 Wait! 746 00:51:49,484 --> 00:51:51,904 I would like to apologize for his actions. 747 00:51:52,154 --> 00:51:54,072 He's been under a lot of stress lately. 748 00:51:54,323 --> 00:51:57,701 It's too late. We're not friends with him anymore, period! 749 00:51:57,951 --> 00:52:01,205 And if you stay, you're just as bad as he is. 750 00:52:18,931 --> 00:52:20,140 Wait! 751 00:52:21,058 --> 00:52:23,060 It's gonna be okay. 752 00:52:23,268 --> 00:52:24,686 I hate Dick! 753 00:52:27,189 --> 00:52:29,525 It was stupid of me to fall in love with Dick. 754 00:52:29,775 --> 00:52:31,318 What was I thinking? 755 00:52:31,985 --> 00:52:34,488 Dick just disgusts me now. 756 00:52:35,656 --> 00:52:37,157 You know, Arlene... 757 00:52:38,408 --> 00:52:40,202 ...Dick meant a lot to me too. 758 00:52:40,452 --> 00:52:41,745 But I've been thinking... 759 00:52:42,079 --> 00:52:44,331 ...you can't let Dick run your life! 760 00:52:48,961 --> 00:52:50,546 Do you mind? 761 00:52:51,171 --> 00:52:53,841 We're having a personal conversation. 762 00:53:39,011 --> 00:53:40,095 What happened? 763 00:53:40,345 --> 00:53:43,557 Larry wasn't at Jake's house. Larry was at a porno movie. 764 00:53:45,350 --> 00:53:46,810 Hi, Daddy! 765 00:53:48,770 --> 00:53:50,063 Hi, girls. 766 00:53:50,314 --> 00:53:51,106 Would you mind going upstairs for just a minute? 767 00:53:51,148 --> 00:53:52,858 Would you mind going upstairs for just a minute? 768 00:53:56,069 --> 00:53:58,864 I don't understand the title of that porno movie. 769 00:54:04,453 --> 00:54:05,871 " Deep throat" means... 770 00:54:06,121 --> 00:54:09,750 ...when the woman puts the man's penis in her mouth. 771 00:54:37,986 --> 00:54:39,530 Okay, what now? 772 00:54:41,907 --> 00:54:43,408 Prank phone calls? 773 00:54:44,576 --> 00:54:45,869 Okay, who? 774 00:54:47,996 --> 00:54:49,331 Miss Spinnler? 775 00:54:53,418 --> 00:54:54,795 Sean Freshman? 776 00:54:55,921 --> 00:54:58,131 No, we always do him. 777 00:55:02,302 --> 00:55:04,847 I know, I know! These guys! 778 00:55:06,306 --> 00:55:08,392 The " radical, muckraking bastards." 779 00:55:08,642 --> 00:55:09,977 Excusez-moi? 780 00:55:10,227 --> 00:55:13,730 These are the guys that are writing all that stuff about Watergate. 781 00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:18,443 And this one's kind of hunky. 782 00:55:18,694 --> 00:55:19,570 Gross. 783 00:55:20,529 --> 00:55:22,698 Well, you liked Dick. 784 00:55:28,704 --> 00:55:30,122 Washington Post. 785 00:55:30,914 --> 00:55:33,208 I'm the daughter of the British ambassador... 786 00:55:33,458 --> 00:55:37,462 ...and I have some very important information concerning Watergate... 787 00:55:37,713 --> 00:55:39,006 ...for your newspaper. 788 00:55:39,756 --> 00:55:41,091 One moment. 789 00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:43,260 I'm on hold! 790 00:55:48,348 --> 00:55:49,183 Woodward. 791 00:55:49,975 --> 00:55:51,101 I can't. I can't. 792 00:55:56,023 --> 00:55:57,232 Who's this? 793 00:55:57,649 --> 00:56:00,360 I just told you. Bob Woodward. 794 00:56:01,987 --> 00:56:02,863 Good. 795 00:56:03,530 --> 00:56:05,032 We know things. 796 00:56:05,282 --> 00:56:07,034 What kind of things? 797 00:56:08,535 --> 00:56:09,786 About Dick. 798 00:56:10,704 --> 00:56:12,039 I mean, the President. 799 00:56:13,707 --> 00:56:14,666 On the record? 800 00:56:17,085 --> 00:56:18,378 Can I use your name? 801 00:56:19,463 --> 00:56:21,423 They don't get that it's a joke! 802 00:56:21,757 --> 00:56:23,717 That just makes it funnier. 803 00:56:23,967 --> 00:56:26,887 Unless you go on the record or have documentation.... 804 00:56:29,765 --> 00:56:32,434 I have deadlines. This is The Washington Post. 805 00:56:32,726 --> 00:56:34,978 A documentation. Like a piece of paper. 806 00:56:36,688 --> 00:56:38,357 We have a piece of paper. 807 00:56:38,607 --> 00:56:42,736 Hold on. We have a list of creeps. We got it at the White House. 808 00:56:44,279 --> 00:56:45,822 A list of creeps? 809 00:56:46,657 --> 00:56:48,367 C-R-E-E-P. 810 00:56:50,911 --> 00:56:52,746 The Committee to Re-elect the President. 811 00:56:52,996 --> 00:56:57,668 It's to Haldeman. It has a list of names, amounts of money and dates. 812 00:56:59,253 --> 00:57:01,129 Go ahead. What do you have? 813 00:57:03,048 --> 00:57:06,009 It's Magruder, Barker, Brown.... 814 00:57:20,274 --> 00:57:21,692 Can I help you? 815 00:57:22,317 --> 00:57:24,236 -I'm cool. -I'm sorry, go ahead. 816 00:57:32,953 --> 00:57:34,413 Go away! 817 00:57:35,163 --> 00:57:36,164 Right. 818 00:57:36,415 --> 00:57:39,042 You actually have this document in your possession? 819 00:57:39,293 --> 00:57:41,170 Yeah, it's sitting right here. 820 00:57:41,920 --> 00:57:43,881 But the only problem is that... 821 00:57:44,131 --> 00:57:48,886 ...we drew all over it, and I dropped my grilled cheese sandwich on it... 822 00:57:49,136 --> 00:57:50,762 ...so it's kind of rank. 823 00:57:51,013 --> 00:57:53,432 Benji, stop it. Get off! 824 00:57:54,766 --> 00:57:57,644 Are you insane? Or are your pants too tight? 825 00:57:58,145 --> 00:57:59,396 Who are you talking to? 826 00:57:59,646 --> 00:58:03,233 A source with proof that the Committee to Re-elect the President... 827 00:58:03,483 --> 00:58:05,068 ...paid off the Water-- 828 00:58:05,652 --> 00:58:07,821 Paid off the Watergate burglars. 829 00:58:08,071 --> 00:58:10,657 And the White House knows about it. 830 00:58:14,953 --> 00:58:17,164 You can't have that conversation on the phone! 831 00:58:17,414 --> 00:58:19,124 It's too dangerous! 832 00:58:19,374 --> 00:58:21,043 Arrange a meeting. 833 00:58:22,002 --> 00:58:23,420 Ow! That really hurt me. 834 00:58:23,670 --> 00:58:25,297 That really hurt me. 835 00:58:27,049 --> 00:58:28,133 Could I meet you? 836 00:58:28,467 --> 00:58:30,677 We've been too permissive with you, young man. 837 00:58:31,178 --> 00:58:33,889 From now on, we're watching you like a hawk. 838 00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:36,099 Not around here. 839 00:58:36,350 --> 00:58:38,560 Right, you're being watched. I understand. 840 00:58:40,395 --> 00:58:42,523 There is an underground parking garage... 841 00:58:42,564 --> 00:58:43,482 There is an underground parking garage... 842 00:58:44,983 --> 00:58:48,153 ...on A Street and York Avenue. 843 00:58:48,570 --> 00:58:49,738 Across from Garfinkle's. 844 00:58:49,988 --> 00:58:52,157 We can go shopping after we meet them. 845 00:58:53,242 --> 00:58:56,828 I can meet you there tomorrow at 9 p.m. 846 00:58:59,665 --> 00:59:00,666 How will I know you? 847 00:59:01,750 --> 00:59:04,044 That's for me to know and you to find out. 848 00:59:08,382 --> 00:59:09,758 What are you staring at? 849 00:59:10,008 --> 00:59:11,885 There's yelling. Are you in trouble? 850 00:59:14,763 --> 00:59:17,975 Give me a name, so when you call next, I'll know it's you. 851 00:59:21,603 --> 00:59:22,771 Deep Throat! 852 00:59:23,522 --> 00:59:24,606 Deep Throat! 853 00:59:25,899 --> 00:59:28,277 Carl Bernstein. Tell me your story. 854 00:59:28,527 --> 00:59:29,778 Up yours, man! 855 00:59:31,655 --> 00:59:34,449 Deep Throat! Come here, Deep Throat boy! 856 00:59:37,744 --> 00:59:38,996 They hung up. 857 00:59:39,246 --> 00:59:41,039 -What're you doing? -It's cool. 858 00:59:41,290 --> 00:59:43,000 -What are you doing? -Helping you out. 859 00:59:43,667 --> 00:59:45,377 I swear to God...! 860 00:59:49,548 --> 00:59:51,008 You're horny! 861 01:00:02,144 --> 01:00:04,313 All right, he's not here. Let's go. 862 01:00:10,903 --> 01:00:12,654 You're Deep Throat? 863 01:00:14,323 --> 01:00:15,782 We both are. 864 01:00:16,033 --> 01:00:17,367 How old are you? 865 01:00:18,452 --> 01:00:19,536 23. 866 01:00:19,786 --> 01:00:21,330 Is that your combined ages? 867 01:00:22,664 --> 01:00:24,541 There's no need to be snotty. 868 01:00:24,791 --> 01:00:27,961 I'm just trying to imagine here, what exactly... 869 01:00:28,212 --> 01:00:30,672 ...is your connection with the White House? 870 01:00:30,923 --> 01:00:33,217 We were the Secret Youth Advisers. 871 01:00:33,467 --> 01:00:36,887 And we walked the dog. And Arlene was in love with Dick. 872 01:00:37,137 --> 01:00:40,182 Okay, I don't need to hear any more of that, really. 873 01:00:42,392 --> 01:00:43,393 Were you followed? 874 01:00:50,275 --> 01:00:52,569 What are you doing here? 875 01:00:52,819 --> 01:00:54,530 I came to make sure you were all right. 876 01:00:54,780 --> 01:00:56,323 You did not! 877 01:00:56,573 --> 01:00:58,367 You're trying to horn in on my source. 878 01:00:58,617 --> 01:01:02,204 How come you get to meet Deep Throat? I'm the one who saw that movie. 879 01:01:03,580 --> 01:01:04,957 Hi, I'm Carl Bernstein. 880 01:01:05,207 --> 01:01:08,252 -You're supposed to check phone records. -It gave me a headache. 881 01:01:08,502 --> 01:01:10,170 -Stop whining. -I'm not whining. 882 01:01:10,420 --> 01:01:12,297 Yes, you are. You're whining. 883 01:01:12,548 --> 01:01:14,383 We've talked about this. 884 01:01:14,883 --> 01:01:16,635 Are you interested in the story or not? 885 01:01:24,434 --> 01:01:26,979 At first, we thought he was really nice. 886 01:01:27,229 --> 01:01:31,775 Then we heard him saying mean things about Jews and using foul language. 887 01:01:32,025 --> 01:01:33,527 We realized he was a jerk. 888 01:01:33,777 --> 01:01:35,070 A jerk. 889 01:01:35,279 --> 01:01:37,656 We could hear him kicking the dog on the tape. 890 01:01:37,906 --> 01:01:38,866 There's a tape? 891 01:01:39,116 --> 01:01:41,827 He records everything. It's in Rose Mary's desk. He's paranoid. 892 01:01:42,077 --> 01:01:43,745 What else did he say on this tape? 893 01:01:43,996 --> 01:01:45,539 They talked about hiding... 894 01:01:45,914 --> 01:01:49,626 ...some guy in South America because he knew about Watergate. 895 01:01:49,877 --> 01:01:53,589 Let me get this straight. You're saying the President of the United States-- 896 01:01:53,839 --> 01:01:55,841 -Of America. -Of America... 897 01:01:56,091 --> 01:01:59,761 ...the most powerful country in the world... 898 01:02:00,637 --> 01:02:03,015 ...is involved in this Watergate cover-up? 899 01:02:03,265 --> 01:02:04,391 -Yeah. -I guess. 900 01:02:04,725 --> 01:02:06,768 Who is he talking to on this tape? 901 01:02:08,020 --> 01:02:09,271 Erlichman? 902 01:02:10,063 --> 01:02:11,315 Hurlichman. 903 01:02:11,899 --> 01:02:14,526 -No, there isn't a Hurlichman. -Yes, there is. 904 01:02:14,776 --> 01:02:16,111 There's not a Hurlichman. 905 01:02:16,445 --> 01:02:19,281 There's a Haldeman. And there's an Erlichman. 906 01:02:19,781 --> 01:02:20,699 Wait, wait, wait. 907 01:02:20,949 --> 01:02:23,118 The guy who's, like, kind of fleshy... 908 01:02:23,368 --> 01:02:26,663 ...who wears horn-rimmed glasses and a cheesy dark suit. 909 01:02:26,955 --> 01:02:27,956 It sounded like him. 910 01:02:29,750 --> 01:02:31,293 Show me which one. 911 01:02:34,671 --> 01:02:37,216 I never realized how much they all look alike. 912 01:02:39,801 --> 01:02:43,639 The document you mentioned on the phone, it was written to Haldeman? 913 01:02:43,889 --> 01:02:46,558 If we publish that, we could nail him. 914 01:02:46,808 --> 01:02:48,852 Give me skin, Daddy. 915 01:02:51,980 --> 01:02:54,191 We don't really have it right now. 916 01:02:54,399 --> 01:02:55,234 What? 917 01:02:56,401 --> 01:02:57,986 The dog ate it. 918 01:02:58,362 --> 01:02:59,613 The dog ate it. 919 01:03:02,616 --> 01:03:06,286 Great. You know, I don't need this. I went to Yale. 920 01:03:07,704 --> 01:03:08,539 Sorry. 921 01:03:09,873 --> 01:03:12,209 We could've gotten grounded for sneaking out. 922 01:03:12,459 --> 01:03:14,336 If we could get that tape.... 923 01:03:14,586 --> 01:03:16,255 But it's in the White House. 924 01:03:16,505 --> 01:03:20,592 You know who else I think is sexy is Robert Plant, from Led Zeppelin. 925 01:03:21,134 --> 01:03:23,303 He reminds me of my brother. 926 01:03:29,101 --> 01:03:32,104 Your brother's not that bad. Not that I like him. 927 01:03:32,437 --> 01:03:35,065 I can't run this. You don't have it. 928 01:03:35,315 --> 01:03:36,441 What? 929 01:03:37,442 --> 01:03:41,238 I might be willing to take the risk on these other names... 930 01:03:41,488 --> 01:03:43,156 ...but not on Haldeman. My God! 931 01:03:43,407 --> 01:03:47,536 He's the man who controls access to the leader of the free world. 932 01:03:48,036 --> 01:03:49,538 There is another source. 933 01:03:49,788 --> 01:03:53,333 You mean, your what-do-you-call-it? 934 01:03:53,584 --> 01:03:54,418 Hand Job. 935 01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:56,128 Deep Throat. 936 01:03:56,378 --> 01:04:00,048 Yeah, Deep Throat. Well, tell me about Deep Throat. 937 01:04:00,382 --> 01:04:03,969 Well, " he" Iinks the President... 938 01:04:04,219 --> 01:04:05,137 ...to the burglary... 939 01:04:05,387 --> 01:04:07,097 ...and to a cover-up. 940 01:04:07,347 --> 01:04:08,473 Jesus! 941 01:04:09,349 --> 01:04:10,851 What branch is he in? 942 01:04:12,311 --> 01:04:13,645 Executive. 943 01:04:13,896 --> 01:04:15,147 How high? 944 01:04:15,397 --> 01:04:16,523 About yea high. 945 01:04:17,649 --> 01:04:19,234 Don't do this to me. 946 01:04:19,526 --> 01:04:22,196 Get some more sources on those names. 947 01:04:22,487 --> 01:04:26,116 Bring me in some hard evidence and nail it down. 948 01:04:26,825 --> 01:04:29,912 Some people think that Mick Jagger's lips are gross. 949 01:04:30,162 --> 01:04:31,955 But I think that they're sexy. 950 01:04:32,206 --> 01:04:35,125 They're like this big couch made out of skin. 951 01:04:35,375 --> 01:04:37,628 You're so hard rock now. 952 01:04:41,381 --> 01:04:42,299 What? 953 01:04:42,549 --> 01:04:46,303 That van's been right behind us since we left school. Don't look. 954 01:04:46,553 --> 01:04:47,846 I have to. 955 01:04:55,270 --> 01:04:56,939 -We're being followed. -By who? 956 01:04:57,189 --> 01:04:58,982 I don't know. Do you think it's Dick? 957 01:04:59,233 --> 01:05:02,778 Maybe he knows we talked to the " radical, muckraking bastards." 958 01:05:03,028 --> 01:05:04,530 He couldn't know. 959 01:05:04,780 --> 01:05:06,156 He could. 960 01:05:08,617 --> 01:05:10,494 Dick frightens me. 961 01:05:11,662 --> 01:05:13,080 Hello, this is Bob Woodward. 962 01:05:13,372 --> 01:05:15,207 And Carl Bernstein, Washington Post. 963 01:05:15,457 --> 01:05:19,461 Carl's on the other line. We have a few questions we'd like to ask you. 964 01:05:19,711 --> 01:05:21,380 Girls! Arlene, Betsy! 965 01:05:21,630 --> 01:05:22,840 We can't talk now. 966 01:05:23,090 --> 01:05:27,469 We need to know some names from that list you had. Do you remember any? 967 01:05:27,719 --> 01:05:29,972 We're under a lot of pressure too. 968 01:05:30,222 --> 01:05:32,808 It's okay. You don't have to name any names. 969 01:05:33,058 --> 01:05:34,518 -Don't answer. -We'll say names. 970 01:05:34,768 --> 01:05:38,272 We'll count to 1 0. If you don't hang up, that's a confirmation. 971 01:05:38,856 --> 01:05:39,982 What? 972 01:05:42,067 --> 01:05:43,986 I'm so sorry to interrupt you. 973 01:05:44,236 --> 01:05:46,113 -Go! -Just go with it! 974 01:05:48,282 --> 01:05:50,784 I asked you to come to dinner 1 5 minutes ago. 975 01:05:51,034 --> 01:05:52,703 Now your TV dinners are ice-cold. 976 01:05:52,953 --> 01:05:54,872 In fact, they're frozen again. 977 01:05:55,163 --> 01:05:56,623 McCord. 978 01:05:59,459 --> 01:06:00,294 Lang. 979 01:06:00,544 --> 01:06:04,256 So come to the table now, or I'll never fix you dinner again, ever! 980 01:06:04,506 --> 01:06:05,340 Seven... 981 01:06:05,549 --> 01:06:06,550 ...eight... 982 01:06:06,967 --> 01:06:07,801 ...nine... 983 01:06:08,177 --> 01:06:09,511 We'll be right there, Mom. 984 01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:12,514 ...ten. 985 01:06:13,056 --> 01:06:14,725 Thank you very much. 986 01:06:21,440 --> 01:06:22,858 They hung up. 987 01:06:25,235 --> 01:06:26,820 I'm sorry, Janet. 988 01:06:27,070 --> 01:06:28,113 You all right? 989 01:06:53,555 --> 01:06:55,724 You scared us to death! What's the matter? 990 01:06:55,974 --> 01:06:58,727 You little lying sacks of shit are the matter! 991 01:06:59,311 --> 01:07:00,145 Listen! 992 01:07:04,775 --> 01:07:08,487 You guys gave us bad information on the phone. 993 01:07:09,238 --> 01:07:11,073 The names on the list? 994 01:07:11,657 --> 01:07:14,785 We printed it, they denied it, and our other source backed out! 995 01:07:15,035 --> 01:07:17,829 Now everybody thinks that I'm a schmuck! 996 01:07:18,956 --> 01:07:20,082 What names? 997 01:07:20,332 --> 01:07:22,167 The names! The information! 998 01:07:22,417 --> 01:07:24,461 Listen, people are counting on you! 999 01:07:24,795 --> 01:07:28,882 You're big-shot reporters. Can't you figure anything out for yourselves? 1000 01:07:29,132 --> 01:07:31,677 How could you let your dog eat that list? 1001 01:07:31,927 --> 01:07:33,470 You're ruining my life! 1002 01:07:36,223 --> 01:07:40,185 We have a very important report on turquoise jewelry due in two days... 1003 01:07:40,435 --> 01:07:43,480 ...and we can't find books on it, and the President is having us followed. 1004 01:07:43,730 --> 01:07:47,192 -It's too much pressure. -Just leave us alone! 1005 01:08:04,501 --> 01:08:05,919 I'm in here, dear. 1006 01:08:06,170 --> 01:08:08,172 How come you're home so early? 1007 01:08:08,422 --> 01:08:09,631 Honey... 1008 01:08:10,674 --> 01:08:12,301 ...l've met someone. 1009 01:08:12,843 --> 01:08:14,553 I've met someone. 1010 01:08:14,803 --> 01:08:15,929 Here he is. 1011 01:08:17,472 --> 01:08:18,974 Hello, Arlene. 1012 01:08:21,810 --> 01:08:23,103 How did you know my name? 1013 01:08:25,772 --> 01:08:27,399 It's embroidered on your blouse. 1014 01:08:42,414 --> 01:08:44,499 It's really so funny how we met. 1015 01:08:44,750 --> 01:08:49,546 I was in the market at lunch and we literally just crashed into each other. 1016 01:08:49,796 --> 01:08:54,551 I said, " Excuse me, your peanut butter is in my chocolate." 1017 01:08:57,137 --> 01:09:00,933 And I said, "Your chocolate is in my peanut butter." 1018 01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:05,521 We haven't been separated since then. 1019 01:09:05,771 --> 01:09:08,607 Well, until I used the bathroom just now. 1020 01:09:11,944 --> 01:09:14,696 Roderick, you're such a treasure. 1021 01:09:21,745 --> 01:09:23,997 Honey, did you leave the door open? 1022 01:09:34,424 --> 01:09:35,884 We've been robbed. 1023 01:09:39,429 --> 01:09:41,557 My grandmother's pearls! 1024 01:09:42,516 --> 01:09:43,976 My stash! 1025 01:09:48,981 --> 01:09:52,192 Are you absolutely positive nothing is missing? 1026 01:09:53,569 --> 01:09:55,487 I don't understand it at all. 1027 01:09:55,737 --> 01:10:00,200 My jewelry case wasn't touched, but they ripped apart the sofa cushions. 1028 01:10:00,450 --> 01:10:01,785 I need a drink. 1029 01:10:02,035 --> 01:10:05,163 Maybe they just didn't like my wife's taste in decorating. 1030 01:10:07,958 --> 01:10:11,086 If I didn't know better, I'd say someone was looking for something. 1031 01:10:11,336 --> 01:10:14,840 -I can't imagine what. -We're just a normal family. 1032 01:10:15,090 --> 01:10:17,134 Okay, I wouldn't go that far. 1033 01:10:24,224 --> 01:10:26,518 They only stole the Hello Dollies recipe. 1034 01:10:26,768 --> 01:10:29,855 Not jewelry or the TV or Larry's pot or anything. 1035 01:10:30,105 --> 01:10:31,648 It's too much of a coincidence. 1036 01:10:31,899 --> 01:10:35,319 Your house gets robbed, and my mom gets a boyfriend the same night? 1037 01:10:35,861 --> 01:10:37,112 Why don't you like him? 1038 01:10:37,362 --> 01:10:41,408 Because I think he's a spy for Dick. No guy like that would go for my mom. 1039 01:11:29,873 --> 01:11:32,501 I'll buzz you up so that my mom doesn't hear. 1040 01:11:38,757 --> 01:11:39,132 Betsy, what're you doing? 1041 01:11:39,174 --> 01:11:40,676 Betsy, what're you doing? 1042 01:11:41,802 --> 01:11:43,762 -We're being bugged! -What? 1043 01:11:44,263 --> 01:11:47,432 The President of the United States is bugging our houses... 1044 01:11:47,683 --> 01:11:49,476 ...and spying on us! 1045 01:11:50,978 --> 01:11:52,688 What did you just say? 1046 01:11:56,400 --> 01:11:58,277 It's a line from a song. 1047 01:11:58,527 --> 01:12:00,529 We're being bugged 1048 01:12:01,113 --> 01:12:01,989 The White House 1049 01:12:04,533 --> 01:12:08,203 There's a man from The Washington Post on the phone for you. 1050 01:12:14,376 --> 01:12:16,503 It's Carl Bernstein from The Post. 1051 01:12:16,753 --> 01:12:18,088 The information you gave-- 1052 01:12:19,006 --> 01:12:21,383 We're not interested in a subscription. 1053 01:12:21,633 --> 01:12:22,509 Thanks, no. 1054 01:12:23,135 --> 01:12:25,929 No, we prefer the news on TV. Thank you. 1055 01:12:27,222 --> 01:12:29,516 I thought we already got The Post. 1056 01:12:30,893 --> 01:12:33,979 You know, there is something very strange going on here. 1057 01:12:34,229 --> 01:12:35,272 I know there is. 1058 01:12:36,023 --> 01:12:38,525 And I don't want to know what it is. Okay? 1059 01:12:41,778 --> 01:12:44,740 And in all my years of public life, I can say... 1060 01:12:44,990 --> 01:12:48,785 ... that I have never, ever obstructedjustice. 1061 01:12:49,328 --> 01:12:51,038 This is all his fault. 1062 01:12:51,830 --> 01:12:54,917 The people have got to know... 1063 01:12:55,292 --> 01:12:58,045 ... whether or not their President is a crook. 1064 01:12:59,213 --> 01:13:00,547 Well... 1065 01:13:00,797 --> 01:13:01,840 ...l'm not a crook. 1066 01:13:02,090 --> 01:13:04,301 He's trying to drive me insane. 1067 01:13:15,812 --> 01:13:16,688 Oh, my God! 1068 01:13:16,939 --> 01:13:18,649 We have to get out of here! 1069 01:13:22,694 --> 01:13:24,655 -Oh, my God! -It's okay. 1070 01:13:36,041 --> 01:13:37,000 Go! 1071 01:13:47,636 --> 01:13:49,096 Oh, my God! 1072 01:14:04,945 --> 01:14:08,448 So these girls are a threat to national security? 1073 01:14:09,324 --> 01:14:11,285 According to the President. 1074 01:14:12,953 --> 01:14:16,456 How dare those people keep treating us like stupid teenage girls! 1075 01:14:16,790 --> 01:14:19,209 We are stupid teenage girls. 1076 01:14:19,459 --> 01:14:22,045 No, Betsy, we're human beings. 1077 01:14:22,296 --> 01:14:24,464 And we're American citizens. 1078 01:14:24,923 --> 01:14:28,468 And fourscore and seven years ago, our forefathers... 1079 01:14:29,136 --> 01:14:30,929 ...did something. I don't know what. 1080 01:14:31,305 --> 01:14:34,474 But I do know one thing: Dick's ass is grass. 1081 01:14:34,725 --> 01:14:37,352 Where are we going? What are we doing? 1082 01:14:37,603 --> 01:14:40,397 If Haldeman has the tapes that Woodward and Bernstein want... 1083 01:14:40,647 --> 01:14:42,357 ...we're gonna find them. 1084 01:14:43,609 --> 01:14:45,694 This is it. This is Haldeman's house. 1085 01:14:45,944 --> 01:14:47,154 21 70. 1086 01:14:52,910 --> 01:14:54,620 Look, there's somebody there. 1087 01:14:57,706 --> 01:14:59,499 Haldeman must have a son. 1088 01:14:59,750 --> 01:15:01,502 Wait, let me see. 1089 01:15:03,086 --> 01:15:03,921 We have a mission. 1090 01:15:04,171 --> 01:15:07,716 We have to figure out a way to get inside and find those tapes. 1091 01:15:09,510 --> 01:15:11,345 Don't worry, Arlene. 1092 01:15:11,845 --> 01:15:13,222 I'll do it. 1093 01:15:24,358 --> 01:15:25,400 Do you remember me? 1094 01:15:28,320 --> 01:15:29,696 Betsy, right. 1095 01:15:30,113 --> 01:15:31,532 From the Homecoming dance. 1096 01:15:32,157 --> 01:15:32,991 Right. 1097 01:15:45,629 --> 01:15:46,588 Want to make out? 1098 01:15:46,839 --> 01:15:47,756 Sure. 1099 01:16:15,784 --> 01:16:17,286 Are you all right? 1100 01:16:17,870 --> 01:16:18,871 Fine. 1101 01:16:20,330 --> 01:16:23,333 I need to go to the bathroom. Will you excuse me? 1102 01:17:32,736 --> 01:17:34,696 What's going on here? 1103 01:17:35,447 --> 01:17:36,782 Beer bong? 1104 01:17:38,242 --> 01:17:40,577 I'm tripping heavily already. 1105 01:17:58,220 --> 01:17:59,429 You know.... 1106 01:18:02,391 --> 01:18:04,059 I really like you. 1107 01:18:05,102 --> 01:18:06,562 Don't talk to me. 1108 01:18:07,563 --> 01:18:08,605 Kiss me. 1109 01:18:46,185 --> 01:18:47,603 Anybody home? 1110 01:18:56,653 --> 01:18:58,780 Oh, my God, it's so terrible. 1111 01:18:59,072 --> 01:19:01,200 -Dean's leaving. -Jesus! 1112 01:19:02,868 --> 01:19:04,203 He's leaving, all right. 1113 01:19:04,453 --> 01:19:07,915 Dean's a team player. He's not gonna cave in like that. 1114 01:19:08,248 --> 01:19:10,375 No, I just don't believe it. 1115 01:19:10,626 --> 01:19:13,086 You better! It'll be in the paper tomorrow. 1116 01:19:13,337 --> 01:19:15,881 I talked to Dean, and he said it was true. 1117 01:19:16,131 --> 01:19:20,010 It's happening. It's happening. It's real, man. 1118 01:19:20,511 --> 01:19:23,096 Well, I guess... 1119 01:19:23,555 --> 01:19:25,307 ...the shit's hitting the fan now? 1120 01:19:25,557 --> 01:19:27,893 Damn right it's hitting the fan. 1121 01:19:33,524 --> 01:19:34,358 What's the matter? 1122 01:19:34,566 --> 01:19:36,693 Something's in my ass. 1123 01:19:39,780 --> 01:19:40,989 Am I bleeding? 1124 01:19:41,490 --> 01:19:42,824 You're fine. 1125 01:19:43,575 --> 01:19:47,246 Figures that the pain in my ass is Nixon, the fascist. 1126 01:19:48,163 --> 01:19:49,873 He's your dad's boss. 1127 01:19:50,582 --> 01:19:52,584 My dad's an arms manufacturer. 1128 01:19:53,252 --> 01:19:54,878 Aren't you Haldeman's son? 1129 01:19:55,462 --> 01:19:56,964 No. That's Brad. 1130 01:19:57,214 --> 01:19:58,882 I'm his roommate at school. 1131 01:19:59,132 --> 01:20:01,051 He's at the dermatologist. 1132 01:20:01,301 --> 01:20:02,803 But this is his house, right? 1133 01:20:04,096 --> 01:20:05,722 Yeah. What the hell's going on? 1134 01:20:05,973 --> 01:20:07,599 Did we meet before or not? 1135 01:20:09,142 --> 01:20:10,352 So you don't remember? 1136 01:20:10,811 --> 01:20:13,021 I remember like it was yesterday. 1137 01:20:14,523 --> 01:20:15,774 That's funny... 1138 01:20:16,483 --> 01:20:18,151 ...because we never met. 1139 01:20:19,319 --> 01:20:20,445 What? 1140 01:20:21,280 --> 01:20:24,575 I just saw you on the street and thought you were cute. 1141 01:20:25,033 --> 01:20:25,951 Really? 1142 01:20:32,583 --> 01:20:33,876 You're hot. 1143 01:20:34,126 --> 01:20:35,294 Thanks. 1144 01:20:37,045 --> 01:20:38,505 Liddy says... 1145 01:20:38,797 --> 01:20:40,340 ...that these prisons are.... 1146 01:20:40,799 --> 01:20:42,634 They're like Club Med... 1147 01:20:42,885 --> 01:20:44,386 ...just like Club Med. 1148 01:20:44,636 --> 01:20:45,679 Well, I have... 1149 01:20:46,138 --> 01:20:49,349 ...a particularly incriminating tape I brought home. 1150 01:20:49,600 --> 01:20:51,476 I should give that a listen. 1151 01:20:52,144 --> 01:20:54,813 Sure. Yeah, I'll say hi to the wife. 1152 01:20:55,063 --> 01:20:58,150 -Take care. -Okay. You take care too. 1153 01:21:19,004 --> 01:21:20,756 Sorry, Mr. Haldeman. 1154 01:21:21,381 --> 01:21:22,883 That's okay, Chip. 1155 01:21:23,467 --> 01:21:24,426 Who is this? 1156 01:21:24,676 --> 01:21:26,220 This is Betsy, sir. 1157 01:21:41,026 --> 01:21:42,152 Wait a minute. 1158 01:21:43,320 --> 01:21:44,488 I know you. 1159 01:21:45,364 --> 01:21:46,323 You're one of those dog-- 1160 01:21:50,744 --> 01:21:52,246 Shit! 1161 01:21:56,667 --> 01:21:58,377 Come back here, you little bitches! 1162 01:22:19,231 --> 01:22:20,315 It's not right. 1163 01:22:20,566 --> 01:22:22,484 Sources are sources. Just because-- 1164 01:22:22,734 --> 01:22:24,570 How goes it, paperboys? 1165 01:22:25,445 --> 01:22:26,572 Not too good. 1166 01:22:26,822 --> 01:22:28,574 Well, your luck's about to change. 1167 01:22:28,824 --> 01:22:33,078 The President knew about it for sure, for absolute sure. 1168 01:22:34,079 --> 01:22:35,038 That's the tape. 1169 01:22:35,289 --> 01:22:36,248 It's the tape. 1170 01:22:36,498 --> 01:22:38,542 We finally have goods on Dick. 1171 01:22:41,044 --> 01:22:42,671 Tricky Dick's going down. 1172 01:22:43,881 --> 01:22:48,468 It's unethical to take possession of the tape if it's stolen, but-- 1173 01:22:48,719 --> 01:22:51,638 You can't have it anyway. It's our only souvenir. 1174 01:22:52,848 --> 01:22:56,143 But we copied it down. Thirty words a minute. 1175 01:22:56,393 --> 01:22:57,769 I passed typing. 1176 01:22:58,937 --> 01:23:01,690 A lot of people want to know who our source is. 1177 01:23:01,940 --> 01:23:02,941 Really? 1178 01:23:03,358 --> 01:23:04,484 We'll be famous. 1179 01:23:04,735 --> 01:23:07,446 But we've decided never to reveal your identity. 1180 01:23:08,030 --> 01:23:09,364 For our own protection? 1181 01:23:12,409 --> 01:23:14,620 It's just too embarrassing. 1182 01:23:14,912 --> 01:23:16,705 Dick's going down. 1183 01:23:18,081 --> 01:23:20,125 Dick is going down! 1184 01:23:36,892 --> 01:23:39,019 In a series of events that rocked the nation... 1185 01:23:39,269 --> 01:23:41,313 ... the White House accepted the resignations... 1186 01:23:41,605 --> 01:23:44,483 ... of Presidential Counsel John Dean.... 1187 01:23:45,400 --> 01:23:50,322 I can't believe this Watergate business runs so high up. 1188 01:23:51,949 --> 01:23:54,409 You have no idea. 1189 01:23:55,410 --> 01:23:57,371 I realized one day... 1190 01:23:58,580 --> 01:24:00,457 ... that if I stayed... 1191 01:24:01,250 --> 01:24:04,503 ...l'd be just as bad as he was. 1192 01:24:35,284 --> 01:24:39,496 I'd say these people are gonna cost a million dollars... 1193 01:24:39,746 --> 01:24:41,290 ... over the next two years. 1194 01:24:42,749 --> 01:24:44,501 We can get that. 1195 01:24:44,793 --> 01:24:48,630 You can get a million dollars and you can get it in cash. 1196 01:24:48,881 --> 01:24:51,508 I know where it could be gotten. 1197 01:24:53,468 --> 01:24:54,344 I love you 1198 01:24:54,386 --> 01:24:54,928 I love you 1199 01:24:56,096 --> 01:24:58,348 I honestly love you 1200 01:24:59,808 --> 01:25:02,019 What in the bejesus is that? 1201 01:25:09,943 --> 01:25:12,779 I can't keep my feelings inside any longer. 1202 01:25:13,238 --> 01:25:15,199 I've never felt this way about anybody... 1203 01:25:15,449 --> 01:25:19,286 -...not even Bobby Sherman.... -A 1 5-year-old. 1204 01:25:19,620 --> 01:25:20,913 Oh, Jesus! 1205 01:25:21,163 --> 01:25:23,332 And that this is the real thing. 1206 01:25:24,666 --> 01:25:27,127 Watergate, my ass! 1207 01:25:27,503 --> 01:25:29,963 They'll crucify me if they hear this. 1208 01:25:30,422 --> 01:25:32,007 Checkers, shut up! 1209 01:25:32,466 --> 01:25:35,135 Or I'll feed you to the Chinese! 1210 01:25:35,761 --> 01:25:37,513 Erase this shit. 1211 01:25:41,391 --> 01:25:43,185 What's that smell? 1212 01:25:45,479 --> 01:25:47,231 Hello Dollies! 1213 01:25:47,481 --> 01:25:49,358 Where'd you get the recipe? It was stolen. 1214 01:25:49,775 --> 01:25:52,903 It's on the label of every can, lamebrain. 1215 01:25:53,612 --> 01:25:54,905 Except... 1216 01:25:55,364 --> 01:25:58,200 ...for one special Larry Jobs addition. 1217 01:26:01,328 --> 01:26:03,956 I keep them mixed up with the walnuts. 1218 01:26:06,500 --> 01:26:09,294 You said these were just walnut leaves. 1219 01:26:09,753 --> 01:26:10,963 I lied. 1220 01:26:11,421 --> 01:26:13,674 But the President ate those. 1221 01:26:14,007 --> 01:26:16,093 Right, your pal, Tricky Dick. 1222 01:26:16,343 --> 01:26:18,011 No, really. 1223 01:26:20,806 --> 01:26:23,517 Maybe that's why he's so paranoid. 1224 01:26:30,524 --> 01:26:31,441 It's happening. 1225 01:26:31,692 --> 01:26:33,610 -What? -Come on. 1226 01:26:36,488 --> 01:26:40,075 Throughout the long and difficult period of Watergate... 1227 01:26:40,659 --> 01:26:44,121 ...l have felt it was my duty to persevere... 1228 01:26:45,163 --> 01:26:48,542 ... to make every possible effort to complete the term of office... 1229 01:26:48,792 --> 01:26:50,711 ... to which you elected me. 1230 01:26:51,003 --> 01:26:52,671 But as President... 1231 01:26:53,463 --> 01:26:56,800 ...l must put the interest of America first. 1232 01:26:58,427 --> 01:26:59,678 Therefore... 1233 01:27:00,679 --> 01:27:03,390 ...l shall resign the Presidency... 1234 01:27:03,682 --> 01:27:06,268 ... effective at noon tomorrow. 1235 01:27:07,060 --> 01:27:09,938 Vice President Ford will be sworn in at that hour... 1236 01:27:10,189 --> 01:27:13,066 -It's gonna be different now. -... in this office. 1237 01:27:14,067 --> 01:27:15,652 They'll never lie to us again. 1238 01:27:15,694 --> 01:27:16,236 They'll never lie to us again. 1239 01:27:29,374 --> 01:27:32,085 Isn't it against the law to cut up the flag? 1240 01:27:33,045 --> 01:27:35,130 Not if you sew it back together. 1241 01:29:22,905 --> 01:29:26,158 We look so fantastic. 1242 01:29:39,129 --> 01:29:40,088 We gotta hurry! 1243 01:30:07,741 --> 01:30:08,659 Look! 1244 01:30:08,909 --> 01:30:11,286 You suck, Dick! 1245 01:30:19,795 --> 01:30:22,047 Bye, Tricky Dick!