1 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,471 Once a day is plenty. 2 00:01:54,504 --> 00:01:58,334 Just a couple of flies, a sip of milk and perhaps a pigeon's egg on Sundays. 3 00:01:59,305 --> 00:02:01,192 I certainly will, Professor. 4 00:02:01,226 --> 00:02:05,056 Keep her warm as you get farther north, and let her out of her box to play. 5 00:02:05,515 --> 00:02:07,402 I certainly will, Professor. 6 00:02:07,436 --> 00:02:11,266 Tell Dr. Marzditz I have named her Columbrina Marzditzia. 7 00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:15,651 And this is only the beginning of what I am bringing out when I come out. 8 00:02:16,141 --> 00:02:18,317 I'll do that, and I want to tell you... 9 00:02:18,350 --> 00:02:22,180 I want to tell you how much I've enjoyed being on this expedition with you. 10 00:02:22,254 --> 00:02:26,061 If I had my way, this is the way I'd like to spend all my time, 11 00:02:26,095 --> 00:02:29,936 in the company of men like yourselves in the pursuit of knowledge. 12 00:02:29,969 --> 00:02:33,766 So long, Lulu. I'll send you a postcard. 13 00:02:40,083 --> 00:02:43,913 Good-bye, Charlie. If you get a chance to come back, this is where we'll be. 14 00:02:44,147 --> 00:02:46,482 Give my affectionate salutations to your father. 15 00:02:46,516 --> 00:02:50,356 Thank him for making the Pike expedition possible and, I hope, a success. 16 00:02:50,390 --> 00:02:52,820 - I will, Professor. - Good-bye, my boy. 17 00:02:52,853 --> 00:02:56,118 - Good-bye, Muggsy. - So long. Don't take no wooden money. 18 00:02:56,151 --> 00:02:57,910 - Good-bye, Sparky. - Good-bye, Charlie. 19 00:02:57,944 --> 00:02:59,591 - Bye, Mac. - Good-bye, Charlie. 20 00:02:59,625 --> 00:03:01,488 - Bye, boys. - So long, "Sarlie. " 21 00:03:01,521 --> 00:03:03,351 - So long, gang. - So long, Muggsy. 22 00:03:06,617 --> 00:03:10,424 Be careful of the traffic. You haven't dodged any in a long time. 23 00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:14,288 And be careful of the dames. You've not dodged them for a long time either. 24 00:03:14,554 --> 00:03:18,385 - You know me, Mac, nothing but reptiles. - That's right, my boy. 25 00:03:18,715 --> 00:03:22,545 Good-bye. 26 00:03:36,927 --> 00:03:40,127 There he is! 27 00:03:43,488 --> 00:03:45,344 You'd think he'd have a bigger yacht than that if he's so rich. 28 00:03:45,378 --> 00:03:47,873 - That isn't a yacht. That's a tender. - What's a tender? 29 00:03:47,907 --> 00:03:49,824 - I said Pabst. - It was Pike. 30 00:03:49,858 --> 00:03:51,986 - So what? - Go put on your shorts. 31 00:03:52,020 --> 00:03:54,115 - You can try. - Mom, it makes me puke. 32 00:03:54,148 --> 00:03:55,860 - Puke? - No, Pike! 33 00:03:55,893 --> 00:03:57,537 Go put on your peekaboo. 34 00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,644 - Get down there and make it fast. - Aye, aye, sir. 35 00:04:04,132 --> 00:04:07,963 Gee, I hope he's rich. I hope he thinks he's a wizard at cards. 36 00:04:08,037 --> 00:04:10,309 From your lips to the ear of the Almighty. 37 00:04:10,342 --> 00:04:13,223 I hope he's got a fat wife so I don't have to dance in the moonlight with him. 38 00:04:13,257 --> 00:04:15,621 A sucker always steps on your feet. 39 00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:19,143 - A mug is a mug in everything. - I don't see why I have to do the work. 40 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:22,217 There must be plenty of rich old dames just waiting for you to push 'em around. 41 00:04:22,251 --> 00:04:24,263 You find 'em. I'll push 'em. 42 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:27,304 Would I like to see you giving some old harpy the three-in-one. 43 00:04:27,337 --> 00:04:31,168 - Don't be vulgar, Jean. Let us be crooked but never common. - Is he rich? 44 00:04:31,851 --> 00:04:34,698 As the purser so picturesquely put it, he's dripping with dough. 45 00:04:34,731 --> 00:04:37,740 - He'd almost have to be to stop a boat. - What does he own, Pike's Peak? 46 00:04:37,773 --> 00:04:40,749 Oh, no, no. Pike's Pale, "The ale that won for Yale. " 47 00:04:49,007 --> 00:04:52,837 - I wonder if I could clunk him. - Don't do that! 48 00:04:55,824 --> 00:04:59,655 Hey! 49 00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:08,002 - Two Pike's Pale. - Now, wait a minute! 50 00:05:08,036 --> 00:05:10,513 Six more Pike's Pale, and make it snappy. 51 00:05:10,547 --> 00:05:13,010 Are you trying to embarrass me? We're all out of Pike's. 52 00:05:13,044 --> 00:05:15,637 - Work 'em over on something else. - They don't want nothin' else. 53 00:05:15,670 --> 00:05:18,517 They want the ale that won for Yale. Rah, rah, rah! 54 00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:20,532 Well, tell 'em to go to Harvard. 55 00:05:20,565 --> 00:05:23,638 - Come on. - How many times do I have to tell ya... 56 00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:27,468 - Four Pike's Pale. - Now listen! 57 00:06:12,769 --> 00:06:14,655 - Not good enough. - What'd you say? 58 00:06:14,689 --> 00:06:17,536 I said they're not good enough for him. Every Jane in the room... 59 00:06:17,570 --> 00:06:21,283 is giving him the thermometer, and he feels they're just a waste of time. 60 00:06:21,316 --> 00:06:24,642 He's returning to his book. He's deeply immersed in it. 61 00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:28,292 He's sees no one except... Watch his head turn when that kid goes by. 62 00:06:28,326 --> 00:06:31,909 It won't do you any good, dear. He's a bookworm, but swing 'em anyway. 63 00:06:31,942 --> 00:06:33,795 Ah, how about this one? 64 00:06:33,829 --> 00:06:36,789 How would you like that hanging on your Christmas tree? 65 00:06:36,823 --> 00:06:39,750 Oh, you wouldn't? Well, what is your weakness, brother? 66 00:06:39,784 --> 00:06:42,181 Holy smoke, the dropped kerchief! 67 00:06:42,215 --> 00:06:45,512 Hasn't been used since Lily Langtry. You'll have to pick it up yourself. 68 00:06:45,545 --> 00:06:48,809 It's a shame that he doesn't care for the flesh. He'll never see it. 69 00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:52,072 Look at that girl over to his left. 70 00:06:52,106 --> 00:06:55,786 Look over to your left, bookworm. There's a girl pining for you. 71 00:06:55,820 --> 00:06:57,673 A little further. 72 00:06:57,707 --> 00:06:59,881 Just a little further. There! 73 00:06:59,915 --> 00:07:03,434 Wasn't that worth looking for? See those nice teeth beaming at you? 74 00:07:03,468 --> 00:07:06,684 Why, she recognizes you. She's up. She's down. She can't make up her mind. 75 00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:09,901 She's up again. She recognizes you. She's coming over to speak to you. 76 00:07:09,935 --> 00:07:12,268 The suspense is killing me. Why, for heaven's sake, 77 00:07:12,302 --> 00:07:15,117 Aren't you Fuzzy Oldhammer I went to manual training school with? 78 00:07:15,151 --> 00:07:18,981 You're not? You certainly look exactly like him... a remarkable resemblance. 79 00:07:19,023 --> 00:07:22,672 If you're not going to ask me to sit, I suppose you're not going to ask me. 80 00:07:22,706 --> 00:07:26,502 Sorry. I certainly hope I haven't caused you any embarrassment. 81 00:07:28,689 --> 00:07:32,397 I wonder if my tie's on straight. I certainly upset them, don't I? 82 00:07:32,430 --> 00:07:36,104 Who else? The lady champion wrestler. Wouldn't she make a houseful? 83 00:07:37,427 --> 00:07:40,179 You don't like her either. What are you going to do about it? 84 00:07:40,213 --> 00:07:42,643 You just can't stand it anymore. You're leaving. 85 00:07:42,676 --> 00:07:46,506 These women don't give you a moment's peace, do they? Go sulk in your cabin. 86 00:07:46,646 --> 00:07:49,814 Go soak your head and see if I care! 87 00:07:51,734 --> 00:07:54,657 I'm very sorry, sir. 88 00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:57,581 That's all right. 89 00:08:02,872 --> 00:08:05,928 - Why don't you look where you're going? - Why don't I look? 90 00:08:05,962 --> 00:08:08,952 - Look, you knocked the heel off. - Oh, I did? I'm sorry. 91 00:08:08,986 --> 00:08:12,251 You did, and you can take me right to my cabin for another pair of slippers. 92 00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,875 - The least I can do. My name's Pike. - Everybody knows. 93 00:08:14,909 --> 00:08:17,050 Nobody's talking about anything else. 94 00:08:17,083 --> 00:08:20,914 This is my father Colonel Harrington. My name is Jean. It's really Eugenia. 95 00:08:25,406 --> 00:08:29,236 - Funny our meeting like this, isn't it? - Yes, isn't it? 96 00:08:44,642 --> 00:08:48,472 - This is quite a cabin. - Pretty cozy, isn't it? 97 00:08:53,828 --> 00:08:56,514 - Holy Moses! - What's the matter? 98 00:08:56,548 --> 00:08:59,299 - That perfume. - What's the matter with it? 99 00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:03,163 It's just that I've been up the Amazon for a year, and they don't use perfume. 100 00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:06,053 Oh. The shoes are over here. 101 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:09,917 Because you were so polite, you can pick them out and put them on if you like. 102 00:09:10,247 --> 00:09:12,326 Push that side. There. 103 00:09:12,359 --> 00:09:16,190 - Holy Moses! - See anything you like? 104 00:09:21,898 --> 00:09:25,728 The evening slippers are over there. 105 00:09:28,076 --> 00:09:29,994 Those the ones you want? 106 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:33,581 Doesn't seem possible for anybody to wear anything that size. 107 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:37,411 Oh, that's pretty. 108 00:09:39,661 --> 00:09:43,492 You'll have to kneel down. 109 00:09:51,312 --> 00:09:55,143 - I hope I didn't hurt you. - Of course you didn't. 110 00:10:07,892 --> 00:10:11,722 Don't you feel well? 111 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:16,076 Oh, I'm all right. 112 00:10:16,245 --> 00:10:19,413 - What were you doing up the Amazon? - Looking for snakes. 113 00:10:19,446 --> 00:10:22,487 - I'm an ophiologist. - I thought you were in the beer business. 114 00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:24,728 - Beer? Ale! - What's the difference? 115 00:10:24,762 --> 00:10:26,615 - Between beer and ale? - Yes. 116 00:10:26,648 --> 00:10:28,790 My father'd burst a blood vessel if he heard you say that. 117 00:10:28,824 --> 00:10:32,654 There's a big difference. Ale's sort of fermented on the top or something. 118 00:10:32,825 --> 00:10:35,449 And beer's fermented on the bottom. Or maybe it's the other way around. 119 00:10:35,483 --> 00:10:39,225 There's no similarity at all. 120 00:10:39,259 --> 00:10:41,978 The trouble with being descended from a brewer, 121 00:10:42,012 --> 00:10:44,666 no matter how long ago he "brewed-ed" or whatever you call it, 122 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:48,530 you're supposed to know all about something you don't give a hoot about. 123 00:10:50,654 --> 00:10:54,484 It's funny to be kneeling here at your feet talking about beer. 124 00:10:55,999 --> 00:10:59,829 You see, I don't like beer. Bock beer, lager beer or steam beer. 125 00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:02,654 - Don't you? - I do not! 126 00:11:02,687 --> 00:11:06,518 And I don't like pale ale, brown ale, nut brown ale, porter or stout, 127 00:11:06,721 --> 00:11:09,633 which makes me "ulp" just to think about it. 128 00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,808 Excuse me. 129 00:11:11,841 --> 00:11:15,672 Wasn't enough, so everybody would call me Hopsie ever since I was six. 130 00:11:16,323 --> 00:11:18,754 - Hopsie Pike. - Hello, Hopsie. 131 00:11:18,787 --> 00:11:20,706 Make it, Charlie, will you? 132 00:11:20,739 --> 00:11:22,787 All right, but there's something kinda cute about Hopsie. 133 00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:26,181 And when you get older, I could call you Popsie. Hopsie Popsie. 134 00:11:26,215 --> 00:11:28,420 That's all I'd need. 135 00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:32,284 Here's a business I wouldn't mind. I never realized how lovely it could be. 136 00:11:32,422 --> 00:11:36,252 Oh, thank you. 137 00:11:38,888 --> 00:11:42,152 We'd better get back now. 138 00:11:42,185 --> 00:11:44,679 Yes, I guess so. 139 00:11:44,713 --> 00:11:48,543 You see, where I've been... I mean, up the Amazon, you kind of forget how... 140 00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:54,017 I mean, when you haven't seen a girl in a long time... 141 00:11:57,036 --> 00:12:00,871 I mean, uh, there's something about that perfume that... 142 00:12:00,904 --> 00:12:04,707 - Don't you like my perfume? - Like it? I'm cockeyed on it. 143 00:12:05,902 --> 00:12:09,732 Why, Hopsie, you ought to be kept in a cage. 144 00:12:25,361 --> 00:12:27,282 The nerve of some people. 145 00:12:27,315 --> 00:12:29,169 Ah, there you are. 146 00:12:29,202 --> 00:12:32,803 It certainly took you long enough to come back in the same outfit. 147 00:12:32,837 --> 00:12:36,404 I'm lucky to have this on. Mr. Pike has been up a river for a year. 148 00:12:36,438 --> 00:12:38,804 - Now, look, I... - Pay no attention to my daughter. 149 00:12:38,838 --> 00:12:40,820 It always comes out in the women of our family. 150 00:12:40,853 --> 00:12:44,246 - The men are all missionaries, with the exception of myself. - And what an exception. 151 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:47,287 - Won't you have a drink with us? - Just a brandy. You have it with me. 152 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,207 - Three brandies. - Yes, sir. 153 00:12:49,241 --> 00:12:53,038 Have you seen this one? 154 00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:57,881 - Oh, he does card tricks! - In a small way, of course. 155 00:12:57,914 --> 00:13:01,711 Well, bless my soul. Do that again, will you? 156 00:13:02,842 --> 00:13:04,729 Amazing. How do you do it? 157 00:13:04,762 --> 00:13:08,475 You palm it in this hand. You grip it in the palm of the hand like this. 158 00:13:08,508 --> 00:13:11,482 - It takes a good deal of practice. - I can well imagine it might. 159 00:13:11,516 --> 00:13:15,346 Amazing. It's good I know who you are or I wouldn't play cards with you. 160 00:13:15,804 --> 00:13:19,635 Sir? 161 00:13:23,071 --> 00:13:26,901 - You didn't really think that, uh... - Oh, of course not, silly. 162 00:13:26,943 --> 00:13:30,773 - You look as honest as we do. - Three brandies. 163 00:13:32,673 --> 00:13:36,065 - Washington and Valley Forge. - Dewey and Manila. 164 00:13:36,098 --> 00:13:39,895 Napoleon and Josephine. 165 00:13:40,354 --> 00:13:43,715 - Say, how about a rubber of bridge? - You're probably too good for us. 166 00:13:43,748 --> 00:13:46,499 I don't have to play my best. Besides, playing with you... 167 00:13:46,533 --> 00:13:48,932 - would always be a pleasure. - Aren't you sweet? 168 00:13:48,966 --> 00:13:51,235 Who'll we get for a fourth? 169 00:13:51,269 --> 00:13:53,765 Isn't there a three-handed game? I seem vaguely to remember having... 170 00:13:53,798 --> 00:13:56,645 Of course there is, and it'll be much cozier. Will you shuffle? 171 00:13:56,679 --> 00:14:00,455 - Well, I'll try. - Every man for himself. 172 00:14:00,488 --> 00:14:02,375 - I, uh, what? - Um. 173 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,262 Oh. Well... 174 00:14:04,295 --> 00:14:08,126 You go up the Amazon for a year, and then you come out and meet you... 175 00:14:17,866 --> 00:14:20,489 - I'll be a cockeyed cookie pusher! - Ha! 176 00:14:20,523 --> 00:14:23,050 - What's the matter now? - Come on, deal them shingles. 177 00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:26,796 You don't happen to have some beautiful damsel pining for you, do you? 178 00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:30,627 - That often explains it. - Come on. Let's go. 179 00:14:33,037 --> 00:14:36,493 - I really feel very guilty about this. - Don't let it worry you. 180 00:14:36,526 --> 00:14:39,407 It's a good thing we're not playing for money, or I'd have you in bankruptcy. 181 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,711 - This last hand alone... - Weren't we playing for money? 182 00:14:41,744 --> 00:14:43,695 Of course not. I never play for money. 183 00:14:43,728 --> 00:14:46,320 We always play for money. Otherwise, it's like swimming in an empty pool. 184 00:14:46,354 --> 00:14:49,457 - If you count that last redouble, it's... - Nonsense, my boy. 185 00:14:49,490 --> 00:14:52,626 - At ten cents a point? - At ten cents a point? 186 00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:55,728 Purely nominal. Now, let me see. Five, ten... 187 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:59,592 - You'll ruin us. - Four ninety-eight. Roughly $500. 188 00:15:00,115 --> 00:15:03,541 - Oh, wait a minute. - Father's in the oil business. 189 00:15:03,574 --> 00:15:05,811 It just keeps bubbling up out of the ground. 190 00:15:05,845 --> 00:15:08,660 - I thought with the title of colonel... - Purely honorary. 191 00:15:08,694 --> 00:15:12,054 - How much do I owe the sucker? - Now, let me see. Two, four, six... 192 00:15:12,087 --> 00:15:15,381 Who's that funny-looking gink watching us? 193 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:19,245 - Everything on the up-and-up? - Everything's okay. Go to bed. I'm way ahead. 194 00:15:20,184 --> 00:15:23,353 - All right. - Who's that, your nurse? 195 00:15:23,386 --> 00:15:25,240 That's Muggsy. 196 00:15:25,273 --> 00:15:27,929 My father took him off a truck when I was a kid to look out for me. 197 00:15:27,963 --> 00:15:30,041 Kidnappers, stuff like that. 198 00:15:30,074 --> 00:15:33,403 He's been sort of a bodyguard, governess and a very bad valet ever since. 199 00:15:33,436 --> 00:15:35,321 He saved my life once in a brawl. 200 00:15:35,355 --> 00:15:38,330 - Roughly $100. - That's rough enough. 201 00:15:38,363 --> 00:15:41,820 - Since I had no understanding that... - Don't worry. I'll get it back. 202 00:15:41,854 --> 00:15:44,190 - Well, if that's a promise. - You can depend upon it. 203 00:15:44,223 --> 00:15:46,525 - I'll certainly feel better. - You certainly will. 204 00:15:46,559 --> 00:15:48,604 I think I'll toddle off... 205 00:15:48,638 --> 00:15:51,583 and leave you young people to talk about whatever young people talk about. 206 00:15:51,616 --> 00:15:54,847 - I'm awfully sorry about this. - Beeswax, my boy, beeswax. 207 00:15:54,881 --> 00:15:58,677 - Good night, Jeanie. - Good night, darling. 208 00:15:59,488 --> 00:16:02,945 - He's a nice fellow, your father. - He's a good card player too. 209 00:16:02,978 --> 00:16:05,856 You think so? I don't want to be rude, 210 00:16:05,890 --> 00:16:09,154 - but he seemed a little uneven. - He's more uneven sometimes than others. 211 00:16:09,188 --> 00:16:12,003 That's what makes him uneven. But now you, on the other hand, 212 00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:14,530 with a little coaching, you could be terrific. 213 00:16:14,563 --> 00:16:17,380 - Do you really think so? - Yes, you have a definite nose. 214 00:16:17,413 --> 00:16:20,197 I'm glad you like it. Do you like any of the rest of me? 215 00:16:20,231 --> 00:16:23,793 Oh, what I meant was in the card-playing sense... 216 00:16:23,827 --> 00:16:27,356 I know what you meant. I was just flirting with you. 217 00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:30,053 Oh. 218 00:16:30,087 --> 00:16:33,490 You're not going to faint, are you? 219 00:16:33,524 --> 00:16:36,894 Who, me? Uh, it's that perfume. 220 00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:40,647 Oh. 221 00:16:40,681 --> 00:16:44,511 Do you think they're dancing anyplace on board? 222 00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:49,920 Don't you think we ought to go to bed? 223 00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:56,941 You're certainly a funny girl for anybody to meet... 224 00:16:56,975 --> 00:17:00,771 who's just been up the Amazon for a year. 225 00:17:01,294 --> 00:17:04,398 Good thing you weren't up there two years. 226 00:17:04,432 --> 00:17:08,229 Come on. 227 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:18,631 Good night. 228 00:17:31,252 --> 00:17:35,083 - I'm afraid we're on the wrong deck. - Isn't that a coincidence? 229 00:17:35,381 --> 00:17:38,740 - For heaven's sake, here's my cabin. - Fantastic! 230 00:17:38,774 --> 00:17:42,604 Would you care to come in and see Emma? 231 00:17:42,742 --> 00:17:46,573 That's a new one, isn't it? 232 00:17:51,544 --> 00:17:54,537 - Shh. I don't want to wake her up. - Wake who up? 233 00:17:54,571 --> 00:17:57,010 - Emma. - Emma? I thought that was just a gag. 234 00:17:57,044 --> 00:17:59,417 Technically, she's a Columbrina Marzditzia, 235 00:17:59,451 --> 00:18:02,331 which seems to be a rare type of Brazilian glass snake, which I'm... 236 00:18:02,365 --> 00:18:04,794 - A snake! - She seems to have got out again. 237 00:18:04,827 --> 00:18:07,034 - She's out? - Well, don't worry. She's around here someplace. 238 00:18:07,068 --> 00:18:10,236 - Let me out of here! - Oh, don't be frightened. She's as playful as a kitten. 239 00:18:10,270 --> 00:18:12,571 You mustn't really... 240 00:18:12,605 --> 00:18:15,550 Don't do that! How's that going... 241 00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:28,832 I'm sorry. I wouldn't have frightened you for anything in the world. 242 00:18:28,866 --> 00:18:31,775 - Why didn't you tell me... - I thought you understood. 243 00:18:31,809 --> 00:18:35,010 How could I understand? Why should I suspect an apparently civilized man... 244 00:18:35,044 --> 00:18:37,665 - Please. - Oh. Look under the bed. 245 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:39,747 - How could she possibly get down here? - Please! 246 00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:43,577 - Oh, all right. - Please. 247 00:18:45,637 --> 00:18:48,163 - Oh! - It's just a stocking. 248 00:18:48,197 --> 00:18:50,277 If you see any more, just leave them there. Now, look in the bed. 249 00:18:50,311 --> 00:18:52,356 - In the bed? How could she possibly... - Oh, go on now. 250 00:18:52,390 --> 00:18:56,220 - You know how fast we came down, so you can imagine... - Oh! 251 00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,919 It's nothing, but it might have given you a shock. 252 00:18:58,953 --> 00:19:01,479 - Nothing like a cold hot water bottle. - Oh! 253 00:19:01,513 --> 00:19:04,484 They would have had to bury me at sea. 254 00:19:04,517 --> 00:19:07,455 Come over here and sit down beside me. Oh. 255 00:19:08,777 --> 00:19:10,730 - Comfortable? - Yes, very. 256 00:19:10,763 --> 00:19:12,922 Oh, sorry. 257 00:19:12,956 --> 00:19:15,049 Hold me tight. 258 00:19:15,083 --> 00:19:18,284 Oh, you don't know what you've done to me. 259 00:19:18,317 --> 00:19:20,557 I'm terribly sorry. 260 00:19:20,591 --> 00:19:22,763 Oh, that's all right. 261 00:19:22,797 --> 00:19:25,036 I wouldn't have frightened you for anything in the world. 262 00:19:25,069 --> 00:19:28,900 I mean, if there's anyone in the world I wouldn't have wanted to, 263 00:19:30,414 --> 00:19:32,461 it's you. 264 00:19:32,495 --> 00:19:36,325 You're very sweet. Don't let me go. 265 00:19:43,761 --> 00:19:45,936 Thank you. 266 00:19:45,969 --> 00:19:49,800 How was everything up the Amazon? 267 00:19:51,058 --> 00:19:54,889 A- All right, thank you. 268 00:19:55,540 --> 00:19:59,125 What are you thinking about? 269 00:19:59,158 --> 00:20:02,772 Nothing. 270 00:20:02,805 --> 00:20:06,636 Are you always going to be interested in snakes? 271 00:20:07,190 --> 00:20:11,020 Well, snakes are my life in a way. 272 00:20:11,447 --> 00:20:13,398 What a life. 273 00:20:13,432 --> 00:20:16,311 Oh, I-I suppose it does sound sort of silly. 274 00:20:16,344 --> 00:20:20,174 I mean, I suppose I should have married and settled down. 275 00:20:21,241 --> 00:20:23,352 I imagine my father always wanted me to. 276 00:20:23,386 --> 00:20:26,010 As a matter of fact, he's told me so rather plainly. 277 00:20:26,044 --> 00:20:29,340 I just never cared for the brewing business. 278 00:20:29,374 --> 00:20:32,525 Oh. You say that's why you've never married? 279 00:20:32,558 --> 00:20:36,032 Oh, no. It's just that I... I've never met her. 280 00:20:36,065 --> 00:20:39,506 I suppose she's around somewhere in the world. 281 00:20:39,773 --> 00:20:43,603 It would be too bad if you never bumped into each other. 282 00:20:44,063 --> 00:20:45,949 Well... 283 00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:49,813 I- I suppose you know what she looks like and everything. 284 00:20:50,143 --> 00:20:52,798 I think so. 285 00:20:52,832 --> 00:20:56,096 I'll bet she looks like Marguerite in Faust. 286 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:58,943 Oh, no, she isn't... 287 00:20:58,977 --> 00:21:02,807 I mean, she hasn't... She's not as bulky as an opera singer. 288 00:21:04,579 --> 00:21:07,329 - Oh. how are her teeth? - Huh? 289 00:21:07,363 --> 00:21:11,044 You should always pick one out with good teeth. It saves expense later. 290 00:21:11,078 --> 00:21:14,053 - Oh, now you're kidding me. - Not badly. 291 00:21:14,086 --> 00:21:16,454 You have a right to have an ideal. 292 00:21:16,487 --> 00:21:18,838 Oh, I guess we all have one. 293 00:21:18,872 --> 00:21:21,157 What does yours look like? 294 00:21:21,190 --> 00:21:24,005 He's a little short guy with lots of money. 295 00:21:24,038 --> 00:21:27,014 - Why short? - What does it matter if he's rich? 296 00:21:27,048 --> 00:21:30,878 It's so he'll look up to me, so I'll be his ideal. 297 00:21:32,169 --> 00:21:35,577 - That's a funny kind of reasoning. - Well, look who's reasoning. 298 00:21:35,611 --> 00:21:38,706 And when he takes me out to dinner, he'll never add up the check. 299 00:21:38,740 --> 00:21:41,803 And he won't smoke greasy cigars or use grease on his hair, and... 300 00:21:41,836 --> 00:21:44,842 - Oh, yes, he won't do card tricks. - Oh! 301 00:21:44,875 --> 00:21:47,691 Oh, it's not that I mind your doing card tricks, Hopsie. 302 00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:51,554 It's just that you naturally wouldn't want your ideal to do card tricks. 303 00:21:59,374 --> 00:22:03,204 I shouldn't think that kind of ideal was so difficult to find. 304 00:22:04,112 --> 00:22:06,382 Oh, he isn't. That's why he's my ideal. 305 00:22:06,416 --> 00:22:09,136 What's the sense of having one if you can't ever find him? 306 00:22:09,170 --> 00:22:11,023 Mine is a practical ideal... 307 00:22:11,057 --> 00:22:14,887 you can find two or three of in every barber shop getting the works. 308 00:22:15,602 --> 00:22:17,489 Why don't you marry one of them? 309 00:22:17,522 --> 00:22:19,442 Why should I marry anybody that looked like that? 310 00:22:19,475 --> 00:22:22,034 When I marry, it's going to be somebody I've never seen before. 311 00:22:22,067 --> 00:22:25,460 I won't know what he looks like or where he'll come from or what he'll be. 312 00:22:25,494 --> 00:22:29,290 I want him to sort of take me by surprise. 313 00:22:29,493 --> 00:22:31,413 Like a burglar. 314 00:22:31,447 --> 00:22:33,300 That's right. 315 00:22:33,334 --> 00:22:37,164 And the night will be heavy with perfume, 316 00:22:37,463 --> 00:22:40,775 and I'll hear a step behind me... 317 00:22:40,809 --> 00:22:44,089 and somebody breathing heavily. 318 00:22:44,122 --> 00:22:47,513 And then... 319 00:22:47,547 --> 00:22:50,008 Oh! 320 00:22:50,042 --> 00:22:53,872 Ohhh! You better go to bed, Hopsie. 321 00:22:55,227 --> 00:22:59,057 I think I can sleep peacefully now. 322 00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:06,557 I wish I could say the same. 323 00:23:06,591 --> 00:23:10,387 Why, Hopsie! 324 00:23:23,585 --> 00:23:25,472 Ah, good morning, Mr. Murgatroyd. 325 00:23:25,505 --> 00:23:27,682 - I trust I see you full of sparkle. - Morning. 326 00:23:27,715 --> 00:23:29,907 - Have a dish of tea? - I had my breakfast. 327 00:23:29,941 --> 00:23:32,066 Where I come from we get up in the morning. 328 00:23:32,099 --> 00:23:34,499 And where did it get you? Or is that a personal question? 329 00:23:34,533 --> 00:23:36,994 - Where did it get me? - Good morning, sir. 330 00:23:37,028 --> 00:23:39,781 Fruit, cereal, bacon and eggs, eggs and sausage, sausage and hot cakes, 331 00:23:39,814 --> 00:23:41,987 hot cakes and ham, ham and eggs, eggs and bacon, bacon and... 332 00:23:42,021 --> 00:23:45,568 Give me a spoonful of milk, a raw pigeon's egg and four houseflies. 333 00:23:45,602 --> 00:23:49,116 If you can't catch any, I'll settle for a cockroach. I'll be on deck. 334 00:23:57,128 --> 00:23:59,559 - Did you get it? - Close enough. 335 00:23:59,592 --> 00:24:03,422 There. Dunk your whiskers in that. 336 00:24:03,497 --> 00:24:06,138 - How much you say you win last night? - About $600. 337 00:24:06,172 --> 00:24:08,745 - I'm going to try to lose it back. - I don't get it. 338 00:24:08,779 --> 00:24:12,043 - I lose 40 bucks to their valet, and I figure the guy's a cutie. - Because he took you? 339 00:24:12,077 --> 00:24:14,122 Who do you think you are, Houdini? 340 00:24:14,155 --> 00:24:17,003 You don't have to be a whodunit to tell a cold deck. 341 00:24:17,036 --> 00:24:19,404 All you have to know is the difference between hot and cold. 342 00:24:19,438 --> 00:24:22,541 - That guy rung a cold deck in on me. - Balderdash! 343 00:24:22,575 --> 00:24:24,428 You're always suspicious of everybody. 344 00:24:24,462 --> 00:24:27,342 Remember the clergyman you said was a pickpocket and he turned out a bishop? 345 00:24:27,376 --> 00:24:30,320 - I still ain't so sure. - The guy trying to slip you a mickey? 346 00:24:30,353 --> 00:24:33,264 - Only he was taking aspirin. - I ain't so sure about him neither. 347 00:24:33,297 --> 00:24:35,600 I suppose you think this gentleman and his daughter... 348 00:24:35,634 --> 00:24:37,905 lost $600 to me just so they could fleece me later. 349 00:24:37,938 --> 00:24:39,887 - Yeah. - Yeah? 350 00:24:39,921 --> 00:24:43,762 Well, in the first place, he happens to be Colonel Harrington, a very important oil man. 351 00:24:43,795 --> 00:24:45,777 In the second place, I'm an expert card player. 352 00:24:45,811 --> 00:24:48,467 I've been fooling with cards all my life. I do tricks with cards. 353 00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:52,297 They might know a couple of tricks you ain't seen yet. 354 00:24:58,773 --> 00:25:00,916 What's the matter? 355 00:25:00,950 --> 00:25:03,029 Oh, I'm sorry. That slimy snake. 356 00:25:03,063 --> 00:25:06,487 - I've been dreaming about him all night. - You mean Pike? 357 00:25:06,521 --> 00:25:08,374 No, his reptile. 358 00:25:08,408 --> 00:25:11,288 He travels with a snake act. He's a... He's an ophi... 359 00:25:11,322 --> 00:25:13,207 Oh, I don't know. He likes snakes. 360 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,512 You mean he isn't in the beer business? 361 00:25:15,546 --> 00:25:18,666 He's in the ale business. It seems there's a very big difference. 362 00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:21,786 You had me worried. I thought we'd sweetened the wrong kitty. 363 00:25:21,820 --> 00:25:24,698 Oh, no, he's the real McPike. Hmm. 364 00:25:24,731 --> 00:25:27,483 - That poor sap. That card trick. - Tragic. 365 00:25:27,517 --> 00:25:29,530 - What are you dealing? - Fifths. 366 00:25:29,564 --> 00:25:31,772 - Like heck you're dealing fifths. - Want to bet? 367 00:25:31,806 --> 00:25:34,236 Do it again. 368 00:25:34,269 --> 00:25:37,278 Now let me see the aces. 369 00:25:37,312 --> 00:25:41,109 Hmm. 370 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,590 Now, let me see them. 371 00:25:49,632 --> 00:25:53,463 - I don't believe it. - It's just virtuosity. 372 00:25:55,714 --> 00:25:57,826 - Harry. - Yes, darling? 373 00:25:57,860 --> 00:26:01,657 Tell me my fortune. 374 00:26:34,346 --> 00:26:36,713 Good morning. Thank you for the roses. 375 00:26:36,747 --> 00:26:40,278 Gee, you look pretty. I hope you slept well. 376 00:26:40,312 --> 00:26:43,810 I'm still a little jumpy. How is that, uh, Emma? 377 00:26:44,268 --> 00:26:47,629 - She's just having breakfast. - What does she eat? Don't tell me. 378 00:26:47,662 --> 00:26:49,676 No, I won't. 379 00:26:49,709 --> 00:26:52,078 I hope you didn't mind my asking you to breakfast. 380 00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:54,413 It wouldn't be polite if I said I did, would it? 381 00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:58,277 - No, I don't suppose it would. - And it wouldn't be true either. 382 00:26:58,607 --> 00:27:02,416 You have the darnedest way of bumping a fellow down and bouncing him up again. 383 00:27:02,450 --> 00:27:05,711 - And then bumping him down again. - Oh. 384 00:27:05,745 --> 00:27:09,575 I could imagine life with you being a series of ups and downs, 385 00:27:10,098 --> 00:27:13,928 lights and shadows, some irritation, but very much happiness. 386 00:27:15,027 --> 00:27:18,857 Why, Hopsie! Are you proposing to me so soon? 387 00:27:19,828 --> 00:27:22,869 - No, of course not. I'm just... - Then you ought to be more careful. 388 00:27:22,902 --> 00:27:26,699 - People have been sued for much less. - Not by girls like you. 389 00:27:27,702 --> 00:27:31,362 Don't you know it's dangerous to trust people you don't know very well? 390 00:27:31,395 --> 00:27:35,021 - Well, I know you very well. - People you haven't known very long. 391 00:27:35,159 --> 00:27:38,990 Oh, I've known you a long time in a way. 392 00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:42,968 Breakfast, sir? 393 00:27:43,001 --> 00:27:46,832 - What did you say? - I said breakfast, sir? 394 00:27:47,162 --> 00:27:50,090 Two scotch and sodas with plain water. You take it plain, don't you? 395 00:27:50,124 --> 00:27:53,020 - Don't you take cream and sugar in it? - No, I always drink it black. 396 00:27:53,053 --> 00:27:54,907 Oh. 397 00:27:54,940 --> 00:27:57,627 - Say, what am I talking about? - That's what I was wondering. 398 00:27:57,661 --> 00:28:01,491 How about a nice bicarbonate of soda with an egg in it? It does wonders. 399 00:28:03,614 --> 00:28:07,444 He doesn't understand. 400 00:28:11,039 --> 00:28:14,704 - Want the strippers on the right? - I hardly need them, Gerald. 401 00:28:14,737 --> 00:28:18,335 - I can take this boy with a deck. - Just to be on the safe side. 402 00:28:18,369 --> 00:28:22,199 - High card cuts on the outside, cold hands in the middle. - Cold hands I love 403 00:28:22,689 --> 00:28:25,536 Blue readers on the outside, red nearest the heart. 404 00:28:25,570 --> 00:28:28,835 - I could play the whole ship with these. - Hello, Harry. Hello, Gerald. 405 00:28:28,869 --> 00:28:30,722 - Hello, Jean. - Greetings, my little minx. 406 00:28:30,756 --> 00:28:33,380 I hope I find you well and that your little pal hasn't fallen overboard. 407 00:28:33,414 --> 00:28:35,779 - With our $600. - He's jut gone to dress for dinner. 408 00:28:35,813 --> 00:28:38,741 You'd better do the same, because we are going to play cards tonight. 409 00:28:38,775 --> 00:28:41,670 - And I don't mean "old maid. " - I think Charles is in love with me. 410 00:28:41,704 --> 00:28:44,197 - No! - Of course he's in love with you. 411 00:28:44,230 --> 00:28:47,079 Who is he not to be in love with you who have beautified the North Atlantic? 412 00:28:47,113 --> 00:28:49,384 - Better men than he... - I mean on the level. 413 00:28:49,418 --> 00:28:51,622 - The others were on the bias? - Oh, stop kidding. 414 00:28:51,656 --> 00:28:55,107 I'm not kidding. I was never more delighted. You have as usual taken... 415 00:28:55,141 --> 00:28:58,560 - You don't get the point. I like him. - Why shouldn't you like him? 416 00:28:58,762 --> 00:29:01,480 There's as fine a specimen of the sucker sapiens as I've have ever seen. 417 00:29:01,514 --> 00:29:05,067 - There's a man who does card tricks! - I think he's going to ask me to marry him. 418 00:29:05,101 --> 00:29:06,954 - No! - No! 419 00:29:06,987 --> 00:29:08,874 - Yes. - That's wonderful, Jean. 420 00:29:08,908 --> 00:29:12,093 No wonder you're blushing. And that fortunate young man. 421 00:29:12,126 --> 00:29:15,277 - Fortunate, indeed. - Can't you hear his pulses pounding? 422 00:29:15,311 --> 00:29:17,550 His ears must be ringing like telephone bells. 423 00:29:17,583 --> 00:29:19,839 His hands are clammy with excitement. 424 00:29:19,872 --> 00:29:22,061 He won't know an ace from a deuce. 425 00:29:22,095 --> 00:29:25,136 - You weren't thinking of taking him? - What were you thinking of? 426 00:29:25,169 --> 00:29:27,920 I don't think you understand, either of you. 427 00:29:27,954 --> 00:29:29,967 This is on the up-and-up. 428 00:29:30,001 --> 00:29:33,831 I- I think I'm in love with the poor fish, snakes and all. 429 00:29:34,321 --> 00:29:36,945 He's... Oh, I don't know. 430 00:29:36,978 --> 00:29:39,539 He's kind of touched something in my heart. 431 00:29:39,572 --> 00:29:43,058 And I'd give a lot to be... 432 00:29:43,092 --> 00:29:46,580 Well, I mean, I'm going to be exactly the way he thinks I am. 433 00:29:46,613 --> 00:29:50,068 - The way he'd like me to be. - I'm sure that's very noble, Jean. 434 00:29:50,102 --> 00:29:52,532 And I wish you all the happiness in the world, 435 00:29:52,565 --> 00:29:55,478 - All the boys and girls you want. - You'll go straight too? 436 00:29:55,511 --> 00:29:57,301 - Straight to where? - You know what I mean. 437 00:29:57,335 --> 00:30:01,165 You can come and live with us. You too, Gerald. Well, part of the time anyway. 438 00:30:01,688 --> 00:30:05,523 We'll probably have a beautiful place. And think how peaceful you can be. 439 00:30:05,556 --> 00:30:09,359 Playing cribbage with Gerald. I can see myself roaming around your estate... 440 00:30:09,401 --> 00:30:13,231 with a weedsticker, 50 cents a week and a pair of new slippers for Christmas. 441 00:30:13,274 --> 00:30:17,083 The trouble with people who reform is they want to rain on everybody else's parade. 442 00:30:17,116 --> 00:30:20,219 - Tend to knitting. I'll play cards. - Not with him. 443 00:30:20,253 --> 00:30:23,324 - Remember that sucker has $500 of ours? - Six hundred. 444 00:30:23,357 --> 00:30:25,595 I suppose you could take that back. 445 00:30:25,629 --> 00:30:28,157 - You bet I could, and a little dividend along with it. - Oh, no. 446 00:30:28,191 --> 00:30:31,183 - Oh, yes. - You'll find I can play a cards myself. 447 00:30:31,216 --> 00:30:34,175 - You think so? - I'm not your daughter for free. 448 00:30:34,208 --> 00:30:37,578 Give me a pack of those. You'll find out. 449 00:30:37,612 --> 00:30:40,949 Children don't respect their parents anymore. 450 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:43,967 I haven't been quite as lucky tonight as usual, have I? 451 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,841 You don't know how lucky. The colonel has been drawing wonderful cards. 452 00:30:47,875 --> 00:30:51,298 - I believe it's my deal. - I haven't got my mind on the game. 453 00:30:51,332 --> 00:30:54,819 I noticed that. How much are you behind? 454 00:30:54,852 --> 00:30:58,649 Oh, about $3,000. 455 00:31:06,662 --> 00:31:10,182 Well, well, well. You've given me a good hand at last. 456 00:31:10,216 --> 00:31:14,012 I'm glad you like it. 457 00:31:22,345 --> 00:31:26,176 You'll have to be pretty good to beat me. I'll open for 100. 458 00:31:26,570 --> 00:31:29,738 Nevertheless, I'll raise you 100. 459 00:31:29,772 --> 00:31:32,202 Too good for me. 460 00:31:32,235 --> 00:31:35,195 I'm afraid I'll have to raise you 100. 461 00:31:35,229 --> 00:31:38,157 Well, you must have something pretty good. 462 00:31:38,190 --> 00:31:41,260 Still... 463 00:31:41,293 --> 00:31:45,124 Excuse me. 464 00:31:45,966 --> 00:31:49,796 Still... 465 00:31:49,903 --> 00:31:51,758 I'll raise you 100. 466 00:31:51,791 --> 00:31:55,622 Sorry to see you lose your money, but I can't let that challenge go unanswered. 467 00:31:55,984 --> 00:31:58,127 And 100. 468 00:31:58,161 --> 00:32:01,393 Well, you're making me very nervous. 469 00:32:01,427 --> 00:32:04,401 But I must raise you 200. 470 00:32:04,434 --> 00:32:07,315 A Pike doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear. " 471 00:32:07,348 --> 00:32:09,202 And 100. 472 00:32:09,235 --> 00:32:13,066 A Harrington doesn't know the meaning of the word "defeat. " 473 00:32:13,684 --> 00:32:16,083 And 200. What are you doing? 474 00:32:16,117 --> 00:32:19,606 Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought I'd given you six cards. 475 00:32:19,639 --> 00:32:23,436 Far from it, my little minx. 476 00:32:25,111 --> 00:32:27,029 Far from it. 477 00:32:27,063 --> 00:32:30,893 - And 100. - I wonder if I have enough money. 478 00:32:33,241 --> 00:32:35,480 Oh, yes, plenty, plenty. 479 00:32:35,514 --> 00:32:37,688 I'll raise you 1,000. 480 00:32:37,721 --> 00:32:40,472 I don't want to win so much from you, 481 00:32:40,506 --> 00:32:44,336 but I'll call you just to show you how hopeless it is. 482 00:32:47,323 --> 00:32:49,018 Cards? 483 00:32:49,052 --> 00:32:51,418 Not unless you have another queen, which I doubt. 484 00:32:51,452 --> 00:32:55,282 Well, I'll see what I can do. What do you know about that? 485 00:32:56,029 --> 00:32:58,669 I thought at least one of you had four aces. 486 00:32:58,703 --> 00:33:01,310 I'll check my four queens. What have you? 487 00:33:01,344 --> 00:33:05,140 I regret to say that I was bluffing. 488 00:33:05,375 --> 00:33:08,320 Spare me the shame of showing you on what. 489 00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:11,103 Oh, say, I'm embarrassed. 490 00:33:11,137 --> 00:33:14,967 - Maybe I should have laid my cards down. - You don't think he minds? 491 00:33:15,265 --> 00:33:17,473 Father loves to lose. How do you stand now? 492 00:33:17,507 --> 00:33:20,129 Oh, just about $1,000 behind. 493 00:33:20,162 --> 00:33:23,267 You're going to stop right there. I'll meet you on a-deck in five minutes. 494 00:33:23,301 --> 00:33:26,180 But I want your word of honor that you won't play even one more hand. 495 00:33:26,213 --> 00:33:28,066 You have it. 496 00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:31,930 Know any more games, Harry? 497 00:33:35,142 --> 00:33:37,190 Wonderful girl. 498 00:33:37,223 --> 00:33:39,239 Yes, isn't she? 499 00:33:39,272 --> 00:33:41,926 I, uh... 500 00:33:41,959 --> 00:33:45,000 I don't know whether you noticed, but, uh... 501 00:33:45,034 --> 00:33:48,071 If you have no objections, it was... 502 00:33:48,104 --> 00:33:51,934 It was my intention to, uh, ask Miss Harrington... 503 00:33:52,457 --> 00:33:56,288 I mean, your daughter... to, uh, be mine. 504 00:33:57,579 --> 00:33:59,530 Why, my dear boy! 505 00:33:59,563 --> 00:34:01,546 You see me astonished! 506 00:34:01,580 --> 00:34:03,690 Why, that was the last thing that entered my mind. 507 00:34:03,724 --> 00:34:07,341 Bless my soul. We must have a drink on that. Steward, two drinks. 508 00:34:07,375 --> 00:34:09,803 - Well, I'm all emotional. - Thank you, sir. 509 00:34:09,837 --> 00:34:12,270 To say that I am thunderstruck is an understatement. 510 00:34:12,303 --> 00:34:14,733 She'll probably turn you down, but anyway... 511 00:34:14,767 --> 00:34:18,479 - I intend to make her as happy as I can. - She asks very little. 512 00:34:18,512 --> 00:34:21,792 - I suppose you know I'm very rich. - Aren't we all? 513 00:34:21,826 --> 00:34:25,039 I'm sorry in a way because it would be so pleasant... 514 00:34:25,073 --> 00:34:28,016 to buy lovely "nonsensities" for somebody who'd never had them. 515 00:34:28,049 --> 00:34:31,880 Wouldn't it? That's the tragedy of the rich. They don't need anything. 516 00:34:32,530 --> 00:34:36,360 As a matter of fact, Charles, I don't even like winning $1,000 from you... 517 00:34:37,235 --> 00:34:39,570 Oh, my dear sir, it isn't a drop in the ocean. 518 00:34:39,603 --> 00:34:42,773 Why, every time the clock ticks, 14 people swig a bottle of Pike. 519 00:34:42,806 --> 00:34:44,691 I don't know why, but there you are. 520 00:34:44,725 --> 00:34:46,772 It's the principle of the thing that bothers me. 521 00:34:46,805 --> 00:34:50,486 A father who wins from his own son-in-law, how does that look? 522 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,911 Here, let's wipe out that 1,000. Double or nothing. 523 00:34:53,944 --> 00:34:56,776 Well, I promised Jean I wouldn't play anymore. 524 00:34:56,809 --> 00:34:59,609 This isn't playing. This is undoing an absurdity. 525 00:34:59,642 --> 00:35:02,073 Here, $1,000. High card takes it. Go ahead. 526 00:35:02,106 --> 00:35:05,903 Why... Well... 527 00:35:06,874 --> 00:35:10,037 Darn it all. Now we'll have to try again. 528 00:35:10,070 --> 00:35:13,200 - That's 2,000 I owe you. - For the moment. 529 00:35:21,373 --> 00:35:25,128 I wish you wouldn't do that. I'm sure if you tried once more... 530 00:35:25,162 --> 00:35:28,884 No, thanks. I'd rather pay 32,000 than lose a really large amount. 531 00:35:29,022 --> 00:35:32,863 This is very embarrassing. Just make it out to cash. 532 00:35:32,896 --> 00:35:36,693 It could be even more embarrassing. 533 00:35:36,864 --> 00:35:40,694 Thirty-two thousand... 534 00:35:41,281 --> 00:35:44,156 dollars... 535 00:35:44,190 --> 00:35:47,032 and no cents. 536 00:35:48,995 --> 00:35:52,825 Uh, don't mention the middle name. I wouldn't want Jean to know it. 537 00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:56,419 As a matter of fact, 538 00:35:56,453 --> 00:35:59,173 I'd prefer if you wouldn't tell Jean anything about the whole transaction. 539 00:35:59,207 --> 00:36:01,380 - You may depend upon it. - You certainly may! 540 00:36:01,414 --> 00:36:05,030 - You promised you wouldn't play anymore. - We didn't play anymore, Jean. 541 00:36:05,064 --> 00:36:08,040 - We... We were just wiping out my loss. - You need a keeper! 542 00:36:08,073 --> 00:36:10,982 Now that you've taught Charles not to play "double or nothing," 543 00:36:11,016 --> 00:36:14,846 - what are you Gonna do with that check? - Just this, my pretty child. 544 00:36:19,017 --> 00:36:21,386 You mean it was just a joke? 545 00:36:21,419 --> 00:36:23,720 Why, of course. 546 00:36:23,754 --> 00:36:27,147 You don't actually think I'd bleed my own daughter's friend, do you? 547 00:36:27,180 --> 00:36:30,311 Perish the thought! Come on! 548 00:36:30,345 --> 00:36:33,442 Good night. Your check, sir. 549 00:36:36,749 --> 00:36:39,832 That was a terrible lesson the colonel almost taught me. 550 00:36:39,865 --> 00:36:42,916 - Yeah, he's a great joker. - He certainly had me fooled. 551 00:36:47,567 --> 00:36:51,398 - Gee, you look lovely. - Thank you. 552 00:36:51,472 --> 00:36:55,303 I, uh... I spoke to your father about something. 553 00:36:55,921 --> 00:36:58,065 Did you? 554 00:36:58,099 --> 00:37:00,177 Yes. 555 00:37:00,210 --> 00:37:04,040 Would you like to go up in the bow of the boat and stand in the wind? 556 00:37:04,851 --> 00:37:08,681 I'd love to. 557 00:37:36,123 --> 00:37:39,579 The air is good, isn't it? It makes you feel all clean inside and nice. 558 00:37:39,612 --> 00:37:41,466 - Don't move. - What? 559 00:37:41,499 --> 00:37:43,386 I've just understood something. 560 00:37:43,420 --> 00:37:46,364 Every time I've looked at you here on the boat, it wasn't only here I saw you. 561 00:37:46,398 --> 00:37:48,987 You seemed to go way back. I know that isn't clear, 562 00:37:49,021 --> 00:37:52,851 but I saw you here, and at the same time further away, then still further away; 563 00:37:53,053 --> 00:37:56,884 and then very small, like converging perspective lines. 564 00:37:57,054 --> 00:38:00,885 That isn't it. It's like... like people following each other in a forest glade. 565 00:38:02,303 --> 00:38:06,027 Only way back there you're a little girl with a short dress and your hair... 566 00:38:06,061 --> 00:38:09,751 falling to your shoulders, and a little boy is standing, holding your hand. 567 00:38:10,082 --> 00:38:12,577 In the middle distance, I'm still with you, 568 00:38:12,611 --> 00:38:16,441 not holding your hand anymore because it isn't manly, but wanting to. 569 00:38:16,835 --> 00:38:19,362 And then still further, we look terrible. 570 00:38:19,395 --> 00:38:22,851 You with your legs like a colt and mine like a calf. 571 00:38:22,884 --> 00:38:26,714 What I'm trying to say is... only I'm not a poet, I'm an ophiologist... 572 00:38:28,166 --> 00:38:31,996 I've always loved you. I mean, I've never loved anyone but you. 573 00:38:32,807 --> 00:38:36,166 I know that sounds dull as a drugstore novel, 574 00:38:36,199 --> 00:38:39,304 and what I see inside I'll never be able to cast into words, 575 00:38:39,337 --> 00:38:41,927 but that's what I mean. 576 00:38:41,961 --> 00:38:45,284 I wish we were married and on our honeymoon now. 577 00:38:45,317 --> 00:38:48,607 So do I. But it isn't as simple as all that, Hopsie. 578 00:38:49,098 --> 00:38:51,721 I'm terribly in love, and you seem to be too. 579 00:38:51,755 --> 00:38:55,585 So one of us has to think and try and keep things clear. 580 00:38:56,012 --> 00:38:59,211 Maybe I can do that better than you can. 581 00:38:59,244 --> 00:39:03,075 They say a moonlit deck is a woman's business office. 582 00:39:16,945 --> 00:39:20,775 - Are you the purser? - Just a moment. Mr. Klink, please. 583 00:39:21,489 --> 00:39:23,810 - You the purser? - Yes. What is it, please? 584 00:39:23,843 --> 00:39:26,097 I want to ask you a "hypothermical" question. 585 00:39:26,130 --> 00:39:29,122 - Maybe that would be better to ask the doctor. - Never mind the wisecracks. 586 00:39:29,156 --> 00:39:32,115 What I want the dope on is, if there happened to be card sharks on this tub... 587 00:39:32,149 --> 00:39:35,945 Shh! Not so loud, please. In the first place, there isn't any, and... 588 00:39:36,372 --> 00:39:40,202 - Could you prove it if there was? - A passenger is a passenger, my friend. 589 00:39:40,501 --> 00:39:43,094 If he pays for his ticket and doesn't steal the ship's towels, 590 00:39:43,127 --> 00:39:45,012 who are we to go slandering him? 591 00:39:45,046 --> 00:39:47,958 You don't happen to be a mouthpiece? You talk like a law school. 592 00:39:47,992 --> 00:39:50,952 I was admitted to the BAR, if that's what you're talking about. 593 00:39:50,985 --> 00:39:53,912 The drinks are on you. I watch out for the kid, the Pike kid. 594 00:39:53,946 --> 00:39:55,897 I watch out for him, and you're gonna watch out for him, 595 00:39:55,930 --> 00:39:58,232 or you'll be right on the beach sellin' popcorn. 596 00:39:58,265 --> 00:40:00,825 His old man knows your president. A wire from me is all it takes. 597 00:40:00,859 --> 00:40:03,963 When old man Pike goes into action, you'll be in the side pocket. 598 00:40:03,997 --> 00:40:07,067 - All I gotta do... - You needn't try to intimidate me, Mr... 599 00:40:07,101 --> 00:40:08,954 - Murgatroyd to you. - Troygamoyd. 600 00:40:08,988 --> 00:40:12,028 If I should discover that Mr. Pike was in any danger of being swindled, 601 00:40:12,062 --> 00:40:15,373 I might have some photographs... confidential, of course... 602 00:40:15,407 --> 00:40:18,694 of some of the better known alleged professional card players. 603 00:40:18,728 --> 00:40:21,983 Not that I admit there are any on this ship. You understand? 604 00:40:22,016 --> 00:40:25,813 Naw, they're swimming alongside in the water. 605 00:40:28,767 --> 00:40:32,598 Come in. 606 00:40:32,833 --> 00:40:36,663 - Good morning. - Good morning, Harry. 607 00:40:37,217 --> 00:40:40,960 - Think you're pretty smart, don't you? - You know I had to. 608 00:40:40,994 --> 00:40:44,035 You're such an old scoundrel. You'd skin me if you had the chance. 609 00:40:44,068 --> 00:40:45,922 Aren't you ashamed of yourself? 610 00:40:45,955 --> 00:40:48,738 - Are you really in love with this mug? - Uh-huh. 611 00:40:48,772 --> 00:40:52,516 Don't you think it a little dangerous? I don't mean for us, for your heart. 612 00:40:52,550 --> 00:40:55,174 They're apt to be slightly narrow-minded, these righteous people. 613 00:40:55,207 --> 00:40:57,094 A man who couldn't forgive wouldn't be much of a man. 614 00:40:57,128 --> 00:40:58,981 What about his family? 615 00:40:59,014 --> 00:41:02,327 You're going to tell him who we are before you marry him? 616 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,640 - I presume he's offered you marriage. - Of course he did. 617 00:41:05,674 --> 00:41:09,470 - And you're going to tell him? - Of course. 618 00:41:18,602 --> 00:41:22,124 But you're not going to tell him till you get off the boat. 619 00:41:22,157 --> 00:41:25,954 You'd have to be fair to Gerald and to me. 620 00:41:26,925 --> 00:41:29,195 Naturally. 621 00:41:29,229 --> 00:41:31,532 I hope you'll never be unhappy. 622 00:41:31,566 --> 00:41:34,414 I hope I'll never be more unhappy than I am right now. 623 00:41:34,447 --> 00:41:36,269 - He's waiting for you? - Uh-huh. 624 00:41:36,302 --> 00:41:38,735 - And you're in a hurry to get to him? - Uh-huh! 625 00:41:38,769 --> 00:41:42,565 Then I'll leave you. 626 00:42:03,509 --> 00:42:07,339 Good morning. 627 00:42:16,504 --> 00:42:18,904 - Oh, what do you want? - How much did you lose last night? 628 00:42:18,937 --> 00:42:20,886 - Nothing. Why? - You see? 629 00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,896 There's something screwy somewhere. This is a gang of sharpies. 630 00:42:23,930 --> 00:42:26,456 Sherlock Holmes! What's the matter, did you lose? 631 00:42:26,489 --> 00:42:29,498 - The guy lets me win a few fish. - So you get twice as suspicious? 632 00:42:29,531 --> 00:42:32,251 - That's right? - You ought to put handles on that skull. 633 00:42:32,284 --> 00:42:34,298 - Maybe you could grow geraniums in it. - Yeah? 634 00:42:34,331 --> 00:42:37,020 Well, get a load of this and see what you can grow in it. Gratitude! 635 00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:39,740 That's what you get for savin' a guy's life. 636 00:42:39,774 --> 00:42:42,011 Philo Vance! 637 00:42:42,045 --> 00:42:45,875 If you didn't lose any money last night, I would prefer you didn't look in there. 638 00:42:46,910 --> 00:42:50,590 - I didn't lose any. - There's only one other possibility. 639 00:42:50,624 --> 00:42:53,119 They might be aiming at higher game. 640 00:42:53,153 --> 00:42:55,358 What are you talking about? 641 00:42:55,392 --> 00:42:57,536 You haven't fallen in love, have you? 642 00:42:57,570 --> 00:43:00,447 What's it got to do with you? 643 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:04,311 Look at the photograph. I'll take the consequences. Good morning, sir. 644 00:44:14,897 --> 00:44:18,727 - Straight scotch. - Yes, sir. 645 00:44:25,876 --> 00:44:29,684 Why, Hopsie! What are you doing at the bar at this hour? 646 00:44:29,717 --> 00:44:32,243 - Good morning. - Morning, darling. 647 00:44:32,277 --> 00:44:35,189 You look like the last grave over near the willow. 648 00:44:35,223 --> 00:44:37,396 Are you worried about something? 649 00:44:37,430 --> 00:44:39,733 - Should I be? - Of course you should, 650 00:44:39,766 --> 00:44:42,375 falling in love with a girl in the middle of an ocean. 651 00:44:42,408 --> 00:44:44,949 You see, Hopsie, you don't know very much about girls. 652 00:44:44,983 --> 00:44:47,544 The best ones aren't as good as you probably think they are, 653 00:44:47,578 --> 00:44:49,881 and the bad ones aren't as bad. 654 00:44:49,914 --> 00:44:51,768 Not nearly as bad. 655 00:44:51,801 --> 00:44:55,632 You're right to worry, falling in love with an adventuress on the high seas. 656 00:44:56,122 --> 00:44:59,929 - Are you an adventuress? - All women are. They have to be. 657 00:44:59,963 --> 00:45:03,793 If you waited for a man to propose, you'd die of old maidenhood. 658 00:45:04,540 --> 00:45:08,370 That's why I let you try my slippers on, and then I put my cheek against yours; 659 00:45:09,085 --> 00:45:12,915 then I made you put your arms around me, 660 00:45:13,245 --> 00:45:15,421 and then I... 661 00:45:15,454 --> 00:45:18,537 I fell in love with you, 662 00:45:18,571 --> 00:45:21,620 which wasn't in the cards. 663 00:45:22,399 --> 00:45:25,344 - Jean. - Yes, darling? 664 00:45:25,378 --> 00:45:28,671 What's that? 665 00:45:28,705 --> 00:45:32,535 You'd better look. 666 00:45:43,556 --> 00:45:46,500 Rotten likeness, isn't it? 667 00:45:46,533 --> 00:45:49,443 I never cared for that picture. 668 00:45:49,477 --> 00:45:52,710 Good morning. Breakfast? Melon, grapefruit, orange juice? 669 00:45:52,743 --> 00:45:56,540 - Just some coffee, please. - Yes, indeed. 670 00:45:58,535 --> 00:46:01,960 Please don't look so upset. I was going to tell you when we got to New York. 671 00:46:01,993 --> 00:46:05,385 I would have told you, only it wouldn't have been fair to Harry and Gerald. 672 00:46:05,419 --> 00:46:08,425 You never know how someone's going to take things like that. 673 00:46:08,459 --> 00:46:11,272 And... well... 674 00:46:11,306 --> 00:46:15,136 maybe I wanted you to love me a little more too. 675 00:46:17,260 --> 00:46:20,459 You believe me, don't you? 676 00:46:20,492 --> 00:46:24,323 You don't think I was going to marry you without telling you? 677 00:46:24,621 --> 00:46:28,451 You don't think that badly of me. 678 00:46:28,750 --> 00:46:31,917 Or do you? 679 00:46:31,951 --> 00:46:35,781 Why didn't you let your father rob me last night? 680 00:46:35,919 --> 00:46:39,184 If you didn't believe what I just told you, you wouldn't believe that either. 681 00:46:39,218 --> 00:46:41,776 You wouldn't understand. 682 00:46:41,810 --> 00:46:44,623 Anyway, I'm... 683 00:46:44,657 --> 00:46:47,090 I'm glad you got the picture this morning instead of last night, 684 00:46:47,123 --> 00:46:49,843 if that means anything to you. 685 00:46:49,876 --> 00:46:52,434 It should. 686 00:46:52,467 --> 00:46:56,212 You thought you were having a lot of fun with me, didn't you? 687 00:46:56,246 --> 00:46:58,418 I... 688 00:46:58,452 --> 00:47:01,776 I was having a lot of fun with you, Hopsie. 689 00:47:01,809 --> 00:47:05,099 More fun than I've ever had with anybody. 690 00:47:05,878 --> 00:47:09,709 You were certainly very funny showing Harry how to palm a card. 691 00:47:09,943 --> 00:47:12,469 - You were pretty funny yourself. - When? 692 00:47:12,503 --> 00:47:16,333 Trying to play me for a sucker when they told me who you were the morning after I met you. 693 00:47:16,633 --> 00:47:20,463 - Who told you? - Never mind who told me. 694 00:47:21,434 --> 00:47:25,264 You mean you were playing me for a sucker? 695 00:47:27,195 --> 00:47:30,475 I don't believe it. 696 00:47:30,509 --> 00:47:33,723 But if you were... 697 00:47:33,756 --> 00:47:37,586 If you were just trying to make me feel cheap and hurt me, 698 00:47:42,686 --> 00:47:46,516 you succeeded handsomely. 699 00:47:47,263 --> 00:47:50,880 You ought to be very proud of yourself, Mr. Pike. 700 00:47:50,913 --> 00:47:54,527 Very proud of yourself. 701 00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:58,391 Your coffee, miss! 702 00:48:28,359 --> 00:48:31,207 There, there, there. 703 00:48:31,240 --> 00:48:35,070 My gracious! You know you shouldn't draw to an inside straight. 704 00:48:35,337 --> 00:48:38,410 I hate that mug. I hate him! 705 00:48:38,444 --> 00:48:41,194 There, there. 706 00:49:00,207 --> 00:49:03,728 When I think we let that sucker off scot-free, it makes my blood boil! 707 00:49:03,762 --> 00:49:07,152 - I told you not to mix business. - I won't again, believe me. 708 00:49:07,186 --> 00:49:10,983 - "Scot-free" is perhaps an exaggeration. - Hmm? 709 00:49:23,508 --> 00:49:25,843 How did you do it? 710 00:49:25,876 --> 00:49:29,108 Don't you remember he showed me how to palm things? 711 00:49:29,141 --> 00:49:32,972 With two strokes of a hot iron, it'll come out like new. 712 00:49:35,607 --> 00:49:39,437 I feel a lot better already. 713 00:49:47,417 --> 00:49:51,002 Come on, baby! Roll, you sweet pappy! Roll them heels! 714 00:49:51,035 --> 00:49:53,721 - He took it too wide. - He'll be all right. 715 00:49:53,755 --> 00:49:56,186 - In a pig's neck, he'll be all right. - Come on, pappy! 716 00:49:56,220 --> 00:49:58,619 - Pappy needs them pennies! - Keep it down to a riot! 717 00:50:01,532 --> 00:50:05,363 Oh, baby, don't do that! 718 00:50:13,343 --> 00:50:16,767 What I can't understand is how he finished fifth! 719 00:50:16,801 --> 00:50:19,070 There were only five horses in the race. 720 00:50:19,104 --> 00:50:22,657 What do you expect when you bet on a goat called "After You"? 721 00:50:22,691 --> 00:50:25,250 Pardon me, but is this seat taken? 722 00:50:25,283 --> 00:50:27,456 My dear Harry! Bless my soul! 723 00:50:27,490 --> 00:50:30,017 - William at the moment. - William, of course. 724 00:50:30,051 --> 00:50:32,611 I'm enchanted to see you again, My dear William. And you, Gerald. 725 00:50:32,645 --> 00:50:36,323 - And the lady pretty as a pack of aces. - Hello, Pearlie. 726 00:50:36,357 --> 00:50:38,645 Sir Alfred at the moment, my pretty child. 727 00:50:38,678 --> 00:50:40,899 Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith at your service. 728 00:50:40,933 --> 00:50:44,484 You're certainly a sight for lame peepers. I've seen nobody, 729 00:50:44,517 --> 00:50:48,348 absolutely not a soul in our set, since the boat stopped running. 730 00:50:48,774 --> 00:50:50,757 - What's your pitch, Pearlie? - Sir Alfred. 731 00:50:50,791 --> 00:50:53,863 I have a little nest on the edge of a town called Bridgefield, 732 00:50:53,897 --> 00:50:55,943 a town that's full of millionaires. 733 00:50:55,976 --> 00:50:59,401 It's in the heart of the contract bridge belt, a wonderful game! 734 00:50:59,435 --> 00:51:02,024 - Bridgefield, Connecticut? - Precisely. I have my dogs. 735 00:51:02,057 --> 00:51:05,256 I have my horses. I have my little house. I have my antiques. 736 00:51:05,290 --> 00:51:08,939 We play a little game here and a little game there, then we play somewhere else. 737 00:51:08,972 --> 00:51:11,465 Sometimes my luck is good. Sometimes my luck is better. 738 00:51:11,499 --> 00:51:15,329 - One thing and another, what a dream! - How do you meet them? 739 00:51:15,692 --> 00:51:19,522 The chumps? When one's name is Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith, R.F.D., 740 00:51:20,109 --> 00:51:21,996 one doesn't have to meet them. 741 00:51:22,030 --> 00:51:25,294 One fights them off with sticks. Then again, just think, there's no hurry! 742 00:51:25,328 --> 00:51:27,982 - You have them by the year like a lease. - Ah, Pearlie. 743 00:51:28,015 --> 00:51:31,846 - Tell me, do you know the Pikes? - What do you care if he does? 744 00:51:32,015 --> 00:51:34,769 Oh, do I know them? I positively swill in their ale. 745 00:51:34,802 --> 00:51:37,265 Good old Horace. What a card player. 746 00:51:37,299 --> 00:51:39,152 Do you know Charles? 747 00:51:39,186 --> 00:51:42,130 Is he the tall, backward boy who's always toying with toads and things? 748 00:51:42,163 --> 00:51:44,977 - I think I have seen him skulking about. - He isn't backward. 749 00:51:45,010 --> 00:51:48,841 - He's a scientist. - Oh, is that what it was? I knew he was... peculiar. 750 00:51:49,332 --> 00:51:53,162 Well, it's charming to have seen you again. Now, what have we in the fifth? 751 00:51:53,236 --> 00:51:55,539 - Say, Pearlie. - Yeah? 752 00:51:55,573 --> 00:51:58,678 - Could I visit you sometime? - Could you visit me sometime? 753 00:51:58,711 --> 00:52:01,685 - As your niece. - As my niece? 754 00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:04,245 My dear girl, you have to be English. 755 00:52:04,279 --> 00:52:07,736 I've been English before. I shall be as English as necessary. 756 00:52:07,770 --> 00:52:09,624 Why don't you stop talking nonsense? 757 00:52:09,657 --> 00:52:11,799 Because I want to see that guy. 758 00:52:11,833 --> 00:52:15,289 I've got some unfinished business with him. 759 00:52:15,323 --> 00:52:18,746 I need him like the axe needs the turkey! 760 00:52:20,923 --> 00:52:24,753 Better go make your bets. 761 00:52:41,279 --> 00:52:44,895 Come, landlord fill the flowing bowl 762 00:52:44,929 --> 00:52:48,063 Until it doth run over 763 00:52:48,096 --> 00:52:56,963 For tonight we'll merry, merry be 764 00:52:56,996 --> 00:53:00,793 Tomorrow we'll be sober 765 00:53:07,909 --> 00:53:10,531 Yeah. 766 00:53:10,565 --> 00:53:13,924 Yeah. Yeah, that's right. 767 00:53:13,958 --> 00:53:17,788 Black tie or white tie? You can wear a green one for all I care. 768 00:53:18,215 --> 00:53:20,583 What party is that? Who's giving it? 769 00:53:20,617 --> 00:53:23,270 Oh! We are! 770 00:53:23,304 --> 00:53:26,057 Well, it's funny they wouldn't say something to me about it. 771 00:53:26,090 --> 00:53:29,887 Yeah, this is Mr. Pike speaking. Mr. who? 772 00:53:30,250 --> 00:53:34,080 I don't get it. I'll probably meet you at the party tonight anyhow. 773 00:53:34,155 --> 00:53:37,985 By the way, what time is it? Thanks. 774 00:53:38,507 --> 00:53:40,652 Nuthouse. 775 00:54:17,171 --> 00:54:21,002 Hey, where is everybody? Where's my breakfast? 776 00:54:23,445 --> 00:54:26,452 "Crest: a lion couchant gardant or... 777 00:54:26,486 --> 00:54:30,316 holding between the paws an escutcheon sable charged with a cock proper. 778 00:54:31,127 --> 00:54:34,957 Motto: hyphen sic erat in fatis. " 779 00:54:35,192 --> 00:54:38,358 - Here, you do it. - Nonsense! It's perfectly simple. 780 00:54:38,392 --> 00:54:42,222 Second or third, a fesse dancette, between three crosses crosslet. 781 00:54:43,065 --> 00:54:44,986 - Crosses crosslet. - That's right. 782 00:54:45,019 --> 00:54:46,873 - Horses horselet! - Emile! 783 00:54:46,906 --> 00:54:49,818 - Nutzes nutslet! Wit gules! - Remember who you are! 784 00:54:53,276 --> 00:54:55,227 - Yes, sir? - When do I eat? 785 00:54:55,260 --> 00:54:58,973 - They must have overlooked you. I'll get you something right away. - It's about time. 786 00:54:59,006 --> 00:55:01,261 - You'll regret this day, my lad! - Fusils! 787 00:55:01,295 --> 00:55:03,484 - Oh, that's all very well. - Fitchee! Fitchee! 788 00:55:03,518 --> 00:55:06,318 - Where's the snake food? - Oh, get it yourself, Ambrose! 789 00:55:06,351 --> 00:55:09,085 Lay off the Ambrose. Why didn't you shave in your room? 790 00:55:09,119 --> 00:55:12,928 - Keep your remarks to yourself. - What's the matter with him? 791 00:55:12,961 --> 00:55:14,815 - Fitchee! - Where's the snake food? 792 00:55:14,848 --> 00:55:17,825 - In the icebox. Where do you think it is? - What's the matter with everybody? 793 00:55:17,858 --> 00:55:20,801 - The master's breakfast, please. - You can take it up with somebody else. 794 00:55:20,835 --> 00:55:22,978 What did I do? 795 00:55:24,898 --> 00:55:26,785 Hey, you! 796 00:55:26,819 --> 00:55:29,059 - Huh? - Come here. 797 00:55:29,093 --> 00:55:31,300 While you're inside... 798 00:55:31,334 --> 00:55:33,187 No speak. 799 00:55:33,221 --> 00:55:35,843 Ohhh! 800 00:55:35,877 --> 00:55:38,630 If that's the knife sharpener, take him around to the back. 801 00:55:38,663 --> 00:55:41,221 Yes, ma'am. 802 00:55:41,254 --> 00:55:44,071 You just sit there, and I'll be back before you can say... 803 00:55:44,104 --> 00:55:45,958 - Piano? - What do you want? 804 00:55:45,991 --> 00:55:49,544 - Where's the piano, kindly? - Where do you think it is? 805 00:55:49,578 --> 00:55:52,729 - I'll show you. - And don't forget to come back. 806 00:55:52,762 --> 00:55:55,847 - Say, Burrows. - Yes, sir. Good morning, sir. 807 00:55:55,881 --> 00:55:59,498 - You haven't seen a little brown crotalis colobrinus, have you? - With pink spots. 808 00:55:59,532 --> 00:56:02,123 I rejoice to say that I have not, sir. 809 00:56:02,156 --> 00:56:04,715 That's all I'd be needing this morning. 810 00:56:04,748 --> 00:56:08,545 Thank you, sir. 811 00:56:18,094 --> 00:56:20,911 Okay. And try and keep off the grass. 812 00:56:20,944 --> 00:56:24,741 Next! 813 00:56:25,072 --> 00:56:28,879 Where'd you get that thing? 814 00:56:28,913 --> 00:56:30,800 - Good evening, my man. - How are you? 815 00:56:30,833 --> 00:56:33,681 - Uh... - Come on, lady. We're holding up the traffic. 816 00:56:33,715 --> 00:56:35,568 Come, my dear. 817 00:56:35,602 --> 00:56:39,432 Right you are, Glenny. Coming. 818 00:56:42,804 --> 00:56:46,634 And keep off the grass. Next! 819 00:56:47,509 --> 00:56:49,492 Just here, Your Ladyship. 820 00:56:49,525 --> 00:56:52,246 - Good evening, Burrows. Yeah. - Sir Alfred. 821 00:56:52,279 --> 00:56:54,326 - Your Ladyship. - Your Ladyship. 822 00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:56,247 Your Ladyship. 823 00:57:02,392 --> 00:57:05,239 The Lady Eve Sidwich... 824 00:57:05,272 --> 00:57:09,102 and Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith. 825 00:57:15,482 --> 00:57:18,411 - Welcome, my dear. - Good evening. 826 00:57:18,445 --> 00:57:21,306 - Sir Alfred. - Hello, hello, hello! 827 00:57:21,340 --> 00:57:24,315 How are you, Glenny? Glad to see you, you old rascal. 828 00:57:24,349 --> 00:57:27,196 - Horace, my lad. My niece Lady Sidwich. - How do you do? 829 00:57:27,229 --> 00:57:31,060 Well, this is a surprise, miss, uh... Say, what do I call you? 830 00:57:31,198 --> 00:57:33,182 Well, Horace, I should think you'd know. 831 00:57:33,216 --> 00:57:35,037 Oh, please. Just call me Eve. 832 00:57:35,070 --> 00:57:38,366 Just plain Eve. Isn't that wonderful? 833 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:41,855 You're just the kind of a girl I've been looking for all my life. 834 00:57:41,889 --> 00:57:45,505 - We'll get this over with quick, and you and I will have a little drink. - Ripping! 835 00:57:45,539 --> 00:57:48,512 Just the word for it. Come on. 836 00:57:48,546 --> 00:57:51,393 I hope Horace won't frighten her to death. 837 00:57:51,426 --> 00:57:53,826 - How long has she been in America? - Three days. 838 00:57:53,859 --> 00:57:56,467 - Three days, and to meet Horace right away. - Oh, I don't know. 839 00:57:56,501 --> 00:57:59,076 How did she come over? I didn't know the boats were running. 840 00:57:59,109 --> 00:58:00,962 - A battleship. - A battleship? 841 00:58:00,996 --> 00:58:03,877 - Well, actually, a cruiser. - But then she must be very, very... 842 00:58:03,910 --> 00:58:07,707 - Oh, very! - Well! 843 00:58:31,851 --> 00:58:33,738 Oh, dear! 844 00:58:33,772 --> 00:58:36,652 Naturally, I was frightfully anxious to see Uncle Alfred, 845 00:58:36,686 --> 00:58:39,117 and as I didn't know just where Connect-i-cut was... 846 00:58:39,150 --> 00:58:41,707 I took the tube. 847 00:58:41,741 --> 00:58:43,628 The subway. 848 00:58:43,661 --> 00:58:47,502 And to the official, I said, " Be so good as to let me off at Connect-i-cut. " 849 00:58:47,536 --> 00:58:49,951 You see, I thought we'd have the boxes... 850 00:58:49,985 --> 00:58:53,091 sent up on a dray later that afternoon. 851 00:58:53,124 --> 00:58:56,198 - The what? - Trunks on a truck. 852 00:58:56,496 --> 00:59:00,326 So he said, " Lady, I don't know where Connect-i-cut is, 853 00:59:00,466 --> 00:59:03,248 but this train goes to Harlem. " 854 00:59:03,282 --> 00:59:07,112 But I don't know how he knew I was a lady! 855 00:59:14,965 --> 00:59:18,181 So I said, " Do you think I'd do better on a tram?" 856 00:59:18,215 --> 00:59:21,398 And he said, "Well, now, uh... you couldn't do worse. " 857 00:59:21,432 --> 00:59:24,423 So I thanked him and returned to the street. 858 00:59:24,456 --> 00:59:27,381 Oh, but I must say I felt an awful fool! 859 00:59:27,415 --> 00:59:29,687 - Then how did you get here? - I took a taxi. 860 00:59:29,721 --> 00:59:31,927 - From New York? - Oh, yes! 861 00:59:31,961 --> 00:59:34,585 Oh, Charlie, I want you to meet Lady Eve Sidwich. 862 00:59:34,619 --> 00:59:36,600 - How do you do? - Go on. 863 00:59:36,633 --> 00:59:39,129 The chauffeur said it wasn't far, so I said, "Very well. " 864 00:59:39,163 --> 00:59:41,626 - But the city seemed enormous! - At 20 cents a mile! 865 00:59:45,051 --> 00:59:48,882 - Isn't your son feeling well? - What's the matter with you? 866 00:59:49,212 --> 00:59:53,042 Well... I mean to say, uh... haven't we met? 867 00:59:53,181 --> 00:59:56,616 But of course we have! Your father just introduced us. 868 00:59:56,650 --> 01:00:00,051 - Aren't you feeling well? - Uh... sure. 869 01:00:00,734 --> 01:00:03,759 Oh, I'm so sorry. You meant, hadn't you met me before someplace. 870 01:00:03,792 --> 01:00:06,783 - Yes. - Very probably. Let me see. Where could it have been? 871 01:00:06,817 --> 01:00:09,280 - Deauville? Biarritz? - No. No. 872 01:00:09,314 --> 01:00:11,231 I know! Le Touquet! 873 01:00:11,265 --> 01:00:14,914 You had a moustache at the time, and you tried to meet me in the casino. 874 01:00:14,947 --> 01:00:16,801 - No. - Huh. I give up. 875 01:00:16,834 --> 01:00:18,753 Let's have a drink. 876 01:00:18,786 --> 01:00:21,603 It couldn't have been on the S.S. Southern Queen between here and South America, could it? 877 01:00:21,636 --> 01:00:24,868 Oh, I'm afraid not. You see, I've never been in South America. 878 01:00:24,902 --> 01:00:27,205 You've never been in South America? 879 01:00:27,238 --> 01:00:29,475 She's never been in South America. 880 01:00:29,509 --> 01:00:33,339 As a matter of fact, I've never been in North America until about three days ago. 881 01:00:34,022 --> 01:00:37,852 Oh, you haven't? Well, you weren't on the S.S. Southern Queen. 882 01:00:38,278 --> 01:00:40,327 Say, what's the matter with you? 883 01:00:40,361 --> 01:00:42,342 Oh, uh... I'm sorry. 884 01:00:42,375 --> 01:00:45,511 Oh! Were you in love with her? 885 01:00:45,545 --> 01:00:48,713 He was in love with her, but he don't remember what she looked like. 886 01:00:48,747 --> 01:00:52,543 Don't let them tease you. You can tell me all about her. 887 01:00:53,226 --> 01:00:57,057 Well, on some days my son seems brighter than others. 888 01:00:57,482 --> 01:01:00,169 Well, I don't know what she looked like, 889 01:01:00,203 --> 01:01:03,532 but if she looked anything like you, here's to her. 890 01:01:03,566 --> 01:01:05,709 Thank you. 891 01:01:07,885 --> 01:01:11,020 It was a white one with enormous teeth! 892 01:01:11,054 --> 01:01:13,966 - Dinner is served, madam. - Thank you, Burrows. Dinner, Horace. 893 01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,909 Oh. Come on. Let's put on the feed bag. 894 01:01:16,943 --> 01:01:20,240 Take my arm, and we'll fight our way through. 895 01:01:23,537 --> 01:01:27,367 Charming. Simply charming. 896 01:01:43,509 --> 01:01:45,685 - Did you hurt yourself? - No, I'm fine. 897 01:01:45,718 --> 01:01:47,636 - Oh. - I just... 898 01:01:47,669 --> 01:01:49,973 You haven't been hitting the bottle lately, have you? 899 01:01:50,006 --> 01:01:53,813 - Of course he hasn't. Anybody's apt to trip. - Not over a sofa. 900 01:01:53,847 --> 01:01:57,560 That sofa's been there for 15 years, and no one ever fell over it before. 901 01:01:57,594 --> 01:01:59,447 Oh, well, now the ice is broken. 902 01:01:59,481 --> 01:02:03,311 You go upstairs and take a bath, and I'll like you just as much as ever. 903 01:02:03,577 --> 01:02:06,906 There's a good boy. 904 01:02:06,940 --> 01:02:08,972 Toodle-oo! 905 01:02:09,005 --> 01:02:11,003 So long. 906 01:02:15,228 --> 01:02:19,058 Oh! 907 01:02:30,655 --> 01:02:34,112 That's the same dame. She looks the same, she walks the same... 908 01:02:34,145 --> 01:02:37,137 and she's tossing you just like she done the last time. 909 01:02:37,171 --> 01:02:40,129 - She doesn't talk the same. - Anybody can put on an act. 910 01:02:40,162 --> 01:02:43,959 Guess who I am. 911 01:02:44,930 --> 01:02:47,969 - Weren't her eyes closer together? - They were not. 912 01:02:48,002 --> 01:02:51,042 They were right where they are, on each side of her nose. 913 01:02:51,076 --> 01:02:54,532 - Why should she do it? - I don't know. Maybe she wants you to fall for her again. 914 01:02:54,566 --> 01:02:57,541 - Do I look that dumb? - You wouldn't be the first one. 915 01:02:57,575 --> 01:03:00,037 I knew a guy married the same dame three times, 916 01:03:00,071 --> 01:03:02,086 then turned around and married her aunt. 917 01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:03,781 - No. - Huh? 918 01:03:03,815 --> 01:03:06,311 - They look too much alike. - You said it. There couldn't be two... 919 01:03:06,344 --> 01:03:08,774 They look too much alike to be the same. 920 01:03:08,808 --> 01:03:11,911 That's what I've been telling you. They... Huh? 921 01:03:11,944 --> 01:03:15,775 If she came here with her hair dyed yellow and eyebrows different or... 922 01:03:15,848 --> 01:03:19,528 What's hair to a skirt? I used to go with a little Eskimo dame... 923 01:03:19,562 --> 01:03:22,826 She didn't dye her hair, and she didn't pretend she'd never seen me before. 924 01:03:22,860 --> 01:03:26,539 - She says I look familiar. - Why shouldn't you? 925 01:03:26,573 --> 01:03:28,842 Because if I did, she wouldn't admit it. 926 01:03:28,876 --> 01:03:32,683 If she didn't look so exactly like the other girl, I might be suspicious. 927 01:03:32,717 --> 01:03:35,597 You don't understand psychology. If you wanted to pretend you were someone else, 928 01:03:35,631 --> 01:03:38,478 you'd glue a muff on your chin, and the dog wouldn't even bark at you. 929 01:03:38,512 --> 01:03:41,486 You tryin' to tell me this ain't the same rib was on the boat? 930 01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:44,239 She even wears the same perfume! 931 01:03:44,273 --> 01:03:48,070 I don't know. 932 01:03:55,889 --> 01:03:58,578 It's the same dame. 933 01:04:01,843 --> 01:04:03,921 Oh, there he is! 934 01:04:03,955 --> 01:04:06,834 I had to change my coat. 935 01:04:06,868 --> 01:04:10,698 Well, don't knock the table over. 936 01:04:15,222 --> 01:04:17,397 - All right now? - Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks. 937 01:04:17,430 --> 01:04:21,271 Happens to the best of us, you know. I remember a night in Bombay. Have you ever been in Bombay? 938 01:04:21,305 --> 01:04:23,574 - You're just there. - I've been in Egypt. 939 01:04:23,608 --> 01:04:26,456 I remember a night in Egypt. I was with a small party of friends, 940 01:04:26,490 --> 01:04:29,047 and one day, while shooting crocodiles... 941 01:04:29,080 --> 01:04:31,833 - You missed some very nice soup. - That's too bad. 942 01:04:31,867 --> 01:04:34,681 - The fish was a poem. - That's fine. 943 01:04:34,714 --> 01:04:37,722 Did you hear how the Lady Eve got to this country? 944 01:04:37,756 --> 01:04:40,188 - How? - You must promise not to tell a soul. 945 01:04:40,221 --> 01:04:42,812 - I won't. - In a submarine. 946 01:04:42,846 --> 01:04:46,642 No! Is that so? 947 01:04:47,324 --> 01:04:50,205 Do you know that I find your son very handsome? 948 01:04:50,239 --> 01:04:54,035 - No! Hmm! - Yes, quite. 949 01:05:06,913 --> 01:05:09,760 - What's this? - Why don't you look where you're goin'? 950 01:05:09,794 --> 01:05:12,514 Why don't you keep your nose out of other people's business? 951 01:05:12,548 --> 01:05:14,562 - Quiet! - For two cents, I'd smack you right... 952 01:05:14,596 --> 01:05:18,393 - Oh, pish tush! - Bah! 953 01:05:19,363 --> 01:05:21,860 Why don't you look where... Here, give me that. 954 01:05:21,894 --> 01:05:23,716 - What do you mean? - Come on! 955 01:05:30,214 --> 01:05:33,639 So the deaf man said, "What did you say?" 956 01:05:33,672 --> 01:05:37,000 And the other passenger said... 957 01:05:37,034 --> 01:05:40,329 "I hear you buried your wife. " 958 01:05:42,729 --> 01:05:46,249 So the deaf man said, "I didn't quite hear you. " 959 01:05:46,283 --> 01:05:48,456 Oh. 960 01:05:48,490 --> 01:05:50,377 Over here. 961 01:05:50,410 --> 01:05:53,163 What do you think you're doing in the dining room? 962 01:05:53,197 --> 01:05:56,140 - What does it look like I'm doing? - Tsk. 963 01:05:56,174 --> 01:05:59,197 - So sorry, sir. - It's about time. 964 01:05:59,231 --> 01:06:02,221 And then the other passenger said... 965 01:06:02,254 --> 01:06:04,844 Come on. Ladies first. 966 01:06:04,878 --> 01:06:07,630 I'm so sorry. I thought he was passing it to me. 967 01:06:07,663 --> 01:06:11,460 Go on. 968 01:06:15,536 --> 01:06:19,152 Will you throw that roughneck out of here, or will I have to? 969 01:06:19,186 --> 01:06:22,032 With enthusiasm, sir. 970 01:06:22,066 --> 01:06:24,465 That's the same dame. I can tell by the way... 971 01:06:24,498 --> 01:06:26,419 - I'll take over from here, Mr. Murgatroyd. - You and who else? 972 01:06:26,452 --> 01:06:28,787 - I said, I'll take over from here, Ambrose. - "Ambrose"? 973 01:06:28,821 --> 01:06:31,826 I said I'll take over. 974 01:06:31,860 --> 01:06:34,740 I said I'll take over from here. You have no right in this room. 975 01:06:37,652 --> 01:06:39,508 Well, I'll be! 976 01:06:39,541 --> 01:06:42,070 Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. 977 01:06:42,103 --> 01:06:45,900 Excuse me. 978 01:06:50,583 --> 01:06:52,726 Oh, dear! Again? 979 01:06:52,760 --> 01:06:56,311 Why don't you put on a bathing suit? 980 01:06:56,344 --> 01:06:58,521 And then the countryman said, "But dash it all, mister. 981 01:06:58,555 --> 01:07:01,066 "If I muss the moss, I'll miss the mass. 982 01:07:01,099 --> 01:07:04,067 and I've never been behind before, besides. " 983 01:07:04,101 --> 01:07:06,592 It was absolutely priceless! 984 01:07:06,626 --> 01:07:09,083 - Ripping! - You mean top-hole. 985 01:07:18,814 --> 01:07:22,644 There you are, laddie, and very nice too. Did you purchase it locally? 986 01:07:23,071 --> 01:07:26,496 It's the last one. Anything happens to this, I'll have to wear a bath towel. 987 01:07:26,529 --> 01:07:29,920 Oh, don't let it depress you, laddie. Worse things happen in the best families. 988 01:07:29,954 --> 01:07:31,807 I remember an incident in Calcutta... 989 01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:33,888 I hope your niece doesn't think I'm a half-wit. 990 01:07:33,921 --> 01:07:37,602 Oh, bumble-puppy! Why, she's used to having young men fall for her. 991 01:07:37,635 --> 01:07:40,321 You know, I think that's rather neat for a nobleman. 992 01:07:40,355 --> 01:07:43,235 - It's just that this girl on the boat... - There was a girl on a boat? 993 01:07:43,269 --> 01:07:46,132 - She looked so exactly like your niece... - Shhh! 994 01:07:46,166 --> 01:07:48,963 Did she have the McGlennan eyes? The cornflower blue? 995 01:07:48,997 --> 01:07:52,827 - I think so. - You must never mention a word of this to a soul. 996 01:07:53,253 --> 01:07:56,100 - What do you mean? - You're rattling the skeleton. 997 01:07:56,133 --> 01:07:59,974 I'm afraid you've stumbled on the sorrow of Sidwich, the secret of the century. 998 01:08:00,008 --> 01:08:03,111 - I don't quite follow. - Meet me in yonder window embrasure, 999 01:08:03,145 --> 01:08:06,941 and look as though you know nothing. 1000 01:08:23,628 --> 01:08:26,764 Shhh. You see, the earl was considerably older than her mama, 1001 01:08:26,798 --> 01:08:28,651 who must never be mentioned again. 1002 01:08:28,685 --> 01:08:31,021 - Oh. - It was a sort of May/November romance. 1003 01:08:31,055 --> 01:08:33,325 Even a March/December, if you follow me. 1004 01:08:33,358 --> 01:08:36,366 Shhh! She'd die of shame if she thought I told you, 1005 01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:38,541 except that she doesn't know it herself. 1006 01:08:38,575 --> 01:08:42,415 You see, into the gulf that separated this unfortunate couple... 1007 01:08:42,449 --> 01:08:45,262 there was a coachman on the estate, a gay dog. 1008 01:08:45,296 --> 01:08:49,126 - A great hand with horses and ladies. - A coachman? 1009 01:08:49,682 --> 01:08:52,690 - Yes. A man who drives horses. - I know what a coachman is. 1010 01:08:52,723 --> 01:08:55,571 - They called him "Handsome Harry. " - Handsome Harry? 1011 01:08:55,604 --> 01:08:58,290 - Shhh! - The father of the girl on the boat. 1012 01:08:58,324 --> 01:09:01,476 Of course. The father of the other child. After the divorce, of course. 1013 01:09:01,509 --> 01:09:04,629 - But they looked exactly alike. - We must close our minds to that fact. 1014 01:09:04,662 --> 01:09:07,476 It brings up the dreadful, unfounded suspicion... 1015 01:09:07,509 --> 01:09:10,598 we must carry to our tombs, as it is utterly untenable, 1016 01:09:10,632 --> 01:09:13,687 that the coachman in both instances... need I say more? 1017 01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:15,830 - He did! I mean, he was! - Shhh! 1018 01:09:15,863 --> 01:09:19,320 Do you want to bring the walls tumbling down about our ears? 1019 01:09:19,353 --> 01:09:23,150 Silence to the grave, and even beyond. 1020 01:09:27,097 --> 01:09:29,657 Oh, there you are in your nice white coat. 1021 01:09:29,691 --> 01:09:32,219 Would you like to come and talk to me? 1022 01:09:32,252 --> 01:09:34,235 I certainly would. 1023 01:09:36,187 --> 01:09:39,996 - And I want to apologize for seeming clumsy. - Oh, that's quite all right. 1024 01:09:40,030 --> 01:09:42,365 As a matter of fact, I rather enjoyed it. 1025 01:09:42,398 --> 01:09:44,251 I'm not that way all the time. 1026 01:09:44,285 --> 01:09:46,749 Of course you're not. Now where should we go? 1027 01:09:46,783 --> 01:09:49,215 - Oh, there's a conservatory. - Jolly. Ooh! 1028 01:09:49,248 --> 01:09:51,358 - What's the matter? - Oh, I'm caught. 1029 01:09:51,391 --> 01:09:54,272 I'm glad it's not my fault this time. 1030 01:09:54,305 --> 01:09:58,102 There you are. All clear. 1031 01:10:02,785 --> 01:10:06,615 Entirely disgraceful. I've never seen such a farce in a respectable house. 1032 01:10:07,042 --> 01:10:10,211 If I didn't hate him so much, I would've felt sorry for him. 1033 01:10:10,244 --> 01:10:12,308 He certainly took some nice falls. 1034 01:10:12,341 --> 01:10:14,412 And he's gonna take a lot more too. 1035 01:10:14,446 --> 01:10:16,484 Do you know why he didn't recognize me? 1036 01:10:16,518 --> 01:10:18,371 - Yes. - No, you don't. 1037 01:10:18,405 --> 01:10:21,862 I hardly recognized him myself. He seemed shorter and bonier. 1038 01:10:21,895 --> 01:10:24,261 It's because we don't love each other anymore. 1039 01:10:24,294 --> 01:10:27,686 You see, on the boat we had an awful yen for each other, 1040 01:10:27,720 --> 01:10:31,366 so I saw him as very tall and very handsome. 1041 01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:35,240 He probably thought I had big melting eyes and a rosebud mouth... 1042 01:10:35,274 --> 01:10:38,057 and a figure like Miss Long Beach, the dream of the fleet. 1043 01:10:38,090 --> 01:10:40,360 So you have, for that matter. 1044 01:10:40,393 --> 01:10:43,528 But I took the further precaution of telling him the plot... 1045 01:10:43,562 --> 01:10:46,699 of �Cecelia, or "The Coachman's Daughter", a gaslight melodrama. 1046 01:10:46,732 --> 01:10:48,106 - No! - Yes. 1047 01:10:48,139 --> 01:10:51,980 I've got to protect myself. I've got a shouting interest round here. 1048 01:10:52,014 --> 01:10:55,467 So I filled him full of handsome coachmen, elderly earls... 1049 01:10:55,501 --> 01:10:58,413 young wives and the two little girls who looked exactly alike. 1050 01:10:58,447 --> 01:11:00,812 You mean he actually swallowed that? 1051 01:11:00,846 --> 01:11:04,676 Like a wolf. Well, now you've got him, what're you gonna do with him? 1052 01:11:05,519 --> 01:11:08,046 Finish what I started. 1053 01:11:08,079 --> 01:11:11,088 I'm going to dine with him, dance with him, 1054 01:11:11,122 --> 01:11:13,265 swim with him, laugh at his jokes, 1055 01:11:13,299 --> 01:11:15,600 canoodle with him, 1056 01:11:15,633 --> 01:11:18,866 and then one day about six weeks from now... 1057 01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:21,361 Some red roses for Your Ladyship. 1058 01:11:21,395 --> 01:11:25,171 - Who could they be from? - Mr. Charles Pike, Your Ladyship. 1059 01:11:25,205 --> 01:11:29,002 Oh, the brewer's son. Oh, rather long, aren't they? 1060 01:11:29,076 --> 01:11:31,957 - Just pop them in the umbrella stand. - Very good, milady. 1061 01:11:31,991 --> 01:11:34,932 Thank you. 1062 01:11:34,965 --> 01:11:38,795 I'll probably talk like a cockeyed duchess the rest of my life. 1063 01:11:40,983 --> 01:11:43,573 It won't even take six weeks. 1064 01:11:43,607 --> 01:11:46,744 One day about two weeks from now, we'll be riding in the hills, 1065 01:11:46,777 --> 01:11:50,295 past waterfalls and mountain greenery, 1066 01:11:50,328 --> 01:11:53,882 up and down ravines and around through vine-covered trails... 1067 01:11:53,915 --> 01:11:57,531 till we come to a spot where the scenery will be so gorgeous, 1068 01:11:57,564 --> 01:12:01,147 it will rise up and smite me on the head like a hammer. 1069 01:12:01,180 --> 01:12:03,994 And the sunset will be so beautiful, 1070 01:12:04,028 --> 01:12:07,291 I'll have to get off my horse to admire it. 1071 01:12:07,324 --> 01:12:10,429 And as I stand there against the glory of Mother Nature, 1072 01:12:10,462 --> 01:12:13,534 my horse will steal up behind me and nuzzle my hair. 1073 01:12:13,567 --> 01:12:17,364 And so will Charles, the heel. 1074 01:12:18,143 --> 01:12:20,157 - Stop that! - Must I? 1075 01:12:20,191 --> 01:12:23,904 - Oh, sorry. I thought it was the horse. - No, it was me. 1076 01:12:23,938 --> 01:12:26,047 - Eve? - Yes, Charles? 1077 01:12:26,081 --> 01:12:28,961 I suppose you know what I'm thinking about. 1078 01:12:28,995 --> 01:12:31,424 Possibly I have an idea. 1079 01:12:31,457 --> 01:12:34,177 The union of two people for life... 1080 01:12:34,210 --> 01:12:37,475 that is, marriage... shouldn't be taken lightly. 1081 01:12:37,508 --> 01:12:39,298 How wise you are! 1082 01:12:39,332 --> 01:12:43,162 Men are more careful in choosing a tailor than they are in choosing a wife. 1083 01:12:43,940 --> 01:12:46,916 That's probably why they look so funny. 1084 01:12:46,949 --> 01:12:50,790 No, they're more careful in choosing a tailor than in choosing a wife. 1085 01:12:50,824 --> 01:12:53,893 - Oh. But not you, Charles. - That's right. 1086 01:12:53,927 --> 01:12:57,757 I think that if there's one time in your life to be careful, 1087 01:12:58,599 --> 01:13:02,430 to weigh every pro and con, that this is the time. 1088 01:13:03,144 --> 01:13:05,897 Oh, yes, you... You can't be too careful. 1089 01:13:05,931 --> 01:13:07,784 That's right. 1090 01:13:07,818 --> 01:13:10,954 Now, you might think that having known you such a short time... 1091 01:13:10,988 --> 01:13:13,435 I... I feel I've known you always. 1092 01:13:13,469 --> 01:13:15,883 That's the way I feel about you. 1093 01:13:17,803 --> 01:13:21,634 I don't just see you here in front of the sunset, 1094 01:13:22,348 --> 01:13:24,108 but you seem to go way back. 1095 01:13:24,141 --> 01:13:26,412 I see you here and, at the same time, 1096 01:13:26,445 --> 01:13:29,326 further away and still further away and way, way back... 1097 01:13:29,359 --> 01:13:32,207 in a long place like a... 1098 01:13:32,240 --> 01:13:34,093 like a forest glade? 1099 01:13:34,127 --> 01:13:36,142 That's right. How did you guess? 1100 01:13:36,176 --> 01:13:40,006 Because that's where I see you always. We held hands way, way back. 1101 01:13:40,144 --> 01:13:42,801 That's remarkable. That's like telepathy. 1102 01:13:42,834 --> 01:13:45,424 Ohh. I can read many of your thoughts. 1103 01:13:45,458 --> 01:13:49,298 Well, then I need hardly tell you of the doubts I've had... 1104 01:13:49,332 --> 01:13:53,139 before I brought myself to speak like this. 1105 01:13:53,173 --> 01:13:56,370 You see, Eve, you're so beautiful. 1106 01:13:56,404 --> 01:13:59,796 You're so fine. You're so... I don't deserve you. 1107 01:13:59,830 --> 01:14:01,972 Oh, but you do, Charles. 1108 01:14:02,006 --> 01:14:05,836 If anybody ever deserved me, you do... so richly. 1109 01:14:06,422 --> 01:14:08,471 - Eve. - Charles. 1110 01:14:11,256 --> 01:14:13,976 But you can't do that! You'll get us all into trouble! 1111 01:14:14,010 --> 01:14:16,697 You'll jeopardize what has taken me years to build up! 1112 01:14:16,730 --> 01:14:20,527 I'll certainly telephone your father. 1113 01:16:03,824 --> 01:16:07,664 Did she look pretty? She did, eh? 1114 01:16:07,698 --> 01:16:11,495 Well, thanks, Pearlie. 1115 01:16:13,713 --> 01:16:16,658 Very depressing having your own daughter married, and not be there. 1116 01:16:16,692 --> 01:16:20,003 - Especially under an assumed name. Is that legal? - Seems to be. 1117 01:16:20,037 --> 01:16:23,316 Women change their names so much anyway, it doesn't seem to matter. 1118 01:16:23,349 --> 01:16:26,037 - But why did she do it? - Maybe to teach him a lesson. 1119 01:16:26,071 --> 01:16:28,083 How? All she said is: 1120 01:16:28,117 --> 01:16:31,947 "You'll see. Wait till the time comes, and it won't be long now. " 1121 01:16:32,630 --> 01:16:35,575 And now she's honeymooning on a train with a man she hates. 1122 01:16:35,608 --> 01:16:38,520 - Maybe she's going to shoot him. - She's afraid of guns. 1123 01:16:38,553 --> 01:16:41,272 Maybe she's going to push him out of the window. 1124 01:16:41,305 --> 01:16:44,281 No. You can't open a window on a train. 1125 01:17:22,785 --> 01:17:26,615 Come in. 1126 01:17:27,778 --> 01:17:31,608 - Hello. - Hello. 1127 01:17:32,035 --> 01:17:34,242 It's cozy, isn't it? 1128 01:17:34,275 --> 01:17:37,732 Ohhh, you poor darling! Oh, did you hurt yourself? 1129 01:17:37,766 --> 01:17:40,677 - Oh, put it right there. - It's all right. 1130 01:17:40,711 --> 01:17:42,627 Oh, come sit down. 1131 01:17:42,661 --> 01:17:45,734 Oh, poor darling. Are you all right? 1132 01:17:45,768 --> 01:17:49,319 - Yeah. - Oh. 1133 01:17:53,544 --> 01:17:57,351 What are you laughing at? 1134 01:17:57,384 --> 01:18:01,215 Oh, it's nothing, darling. It's just that it's so different. 1135 01:18:01,385 --> 01:18:04,666 - It reminds me of that other time. - What time was that? 1136 01:18:04,700 --> 01:18:07,913 Oh, I must be a little bit hysterical. 1137 01:18:07,947 --> 01:18:10,954 You see, we didn't have any money, so we went third class, 1138 01:18:10,987 --> 01:18:14,748 and there was a farmer on the opposite bench with cheese in his lap. 1139 01:18:14,781 --> 01:18:18,509 Haven't you ever noticed I never eat cheese? It was very unromantic. 1140 01:18:18,543 --> 01:18:20,844 - Where were you going? - We eloped. 1141 01:18:20,877 --> 01:18:23,853 - Who eloped? - Me. It was really nothing, darling. 1142 01:18:23,887 --> 01:18:26,990 I was only 16 at the time. You know how romantic young girls are. 1143 01:18:27,023 --> 01:18:30,479 It wasn't of the slightest importance, I assure you. I'm sorry I mentioned it. 1144 01:18:30,513 --> 01:18:33,616 Let's pretend I didn't. Kiss me, and that's all there is to it. 1145 01:18:33,650 --> 01:18:35,665 Now it's all finished, isn't it? 1146 01:18:35,699 --> 01:18:37,552 Who did you elope with? 1147 01:18:37,586 --> 01:18:40,466 Oh, now I've planted a seed in your mind. 1148 01:18:40,500 --> 01:18:43,057 Are you sure you want to know? 1149 01:18:43,091 --> 01:18:45,971 Oh, why don't we just forget the whole thing? 1150 01:18:46,005 --> 01:18:47,410 Who was it? 1151 01:18:47,444 --> 01:18:49,331 - Angus. - Angus? 1152 01:18:49,364 --> 01:18:52,245 Oh, I assure you he was no one of the slightest importance. 1153 01:18:52,278 --> 01:18:55,445 Oh, what a way to make me spend the wedding night. 1154 01:18:55,478 --> 01:18:58,612 Oh, he was just a groom on father's estate. 1155 01:18:58,646 --> 01:19:01,301 - A groom! - Well, not really the groom, of course. 1156 01:19:01,335 --> 01:19:05,165 He put on the groom's uniform on his day off, then he'd be the groom that day. 1157 01:19:05,559 --> 01:19:08,150 The rest of the time he was just a stable boy. 1158 01:19:08,184 --> 01:19:12,025 - A stable boy? - Yes, a boy who cleans up the stables. 1159 01:19:12,058 --> 01:19:14,040 Oh, you don't think much of my choice. 1160 01:19:14,073 --> 01:19:16,536 Well, he didn't look so bad in the groom's uniform... 1161 01:19:16,569 --> 01:19:20,400 with the tight pants, the boots with yellow tops and the little fat silk hat. 1162 01:19:20,539 --> 01:19:24,218 - Don't you think they're cute? - I do not. 1163 01:19:24,251 --> 01:19:28,081 Oh, now you're upset. I never know when to keep my mouth closed. 1164 01:19:28,348 --> 01:19:30,620 I was always taught to be frank and honest. 1165 01:19:30,653 --> 01:19:34,483 It was nothing, darling. We ran away, but they caught us and brought us back. And that's all there was to it. 1166 01:19:35,198 --> 01:19:38,206 That's all there was to it, except they discharged him. 1167 01:19:38,240 --> 01:19:40,624 Good. When they brought you back, 1168 01:19:40,657 --> 01:19:42,857 it was before nightfall, I trust. 1169 01:19:42,890 --> 01:19:45,157 - Oh, no. - You were out all night? 1170 01:19:45,191 --> 01:19:47,391 My dear, it took them weeks to find us. 1171 01:19:47,425 --> 01:19:50,784 We'd made up different names at the different inns we stayed at. 1172 01:19:50,818 --> 01:19:54,018 Oh, you'd die laughing at some of the names we thought of. I remember there was one... 1173 01:19:54,051 --> 01:19:57,795 - Yes, I'm sure I would. - Oh, now you're upset. 1174 01:20:22,088 --> 01:20:25,918 - Eve. - Yes, darling? 1175 01:20:27,145 --> 01:20:30,730 If there's one thing that distinguishes a man from a beast, 1176 01:20:30,764 --> 01:20:33,563 it's the ability to understand, 1177 01:20:33,596 --> 01:20:36,329 and understanding, forgive. 1178 01:20:36,363 --> 01:20:40,193 Surely the qualities of mercy, understanding and sweet forgiveness... 1179 01:20:41,772 --> 01:20:45,517 - Sweet what? - Sweet forgiveness! 1180 01:20:45,550 --> 01:20:47,404 Oh. 1181 01:20:47,437 --> 01:20:50,638 I won't conceal from you that I wish this hadn't happened. 1182 01:20:50,672 --> 01:20:53,037 But it has, and so it has. 1183 01:20:53,071 --> 01:20:55,471 A girl of 16 is practically an idiot anyway, 1184 01:20:55,505 --> 01:20:58,192 so I can't very well blame you for something... 1185 01:20:58,226 --> 01:21:00,801 that was practically done by somebody else. 1186 01:21:00,835 --> 01:21:03,344 I want to thank you for being so frank. 1187 01:21:03,377 --> 01:21:06,385 The name of Angus will never cross my lips again, 1188 01:21:06,419 --> 01:21:10,206 and I hope that you will do likewise. 1189 01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:13,993 Now let us smile and be as we were. 1190 01:21:14,323 --> 01:21:18,153 I knew you'd be that way. I knew it the moment I saw you standing beside me. 1191 01:21:19,124 --> 01:21:22,005 I knew you'd be both husband and father to me. 1192 01:21:22,038 --> 01:21:25,141 I knew I could trust and confide in you. 1193 01:21:25,174 --> 01:21:28,407 I suppose that's why I fell in love with you. 1194 01:21:28,440 --> 01:21:30,485 Thank you. 1195 01:21:30,519 --> 01:21:34,349 I wonder if now would be the time to tell you about Herman. 1196 01:21:35,320 --> 01:21:39,150 Herman. Herman? Who was Herman? 1197 01:21:53,627 --> 01:21:56,251 Vernon? I thought you said Herman! 1198 01:21:56,284 --> 01:21:59,229 - Vernon was Herman's friend. - What a friend! 1199 01:22:07,423 --> 01:22:10,111 - Cecil? - It's pronounced "Ceh-cil. " 1200 01:22:24,835 --> 01:22:28,665 - What did you say, dear? - "How do you mean Hubert or Herbert?" 1201 01:22:28,771 --> 01:22:31,652 - They were John�s twin cousins. - John! Who was John? 1202 01:23:01,643 --> 01:23:04,843 'Board! 1203 01:23:25,840 --> 01:23:29,169 But that's unheard of! That's what lawyers are for! 1204 01:23:29,202 --> 01:23:31,055 - He says... - Who says? 1205 01:23:31,089 --> 01:23:34,064 I don't know. I naturally presumed it was her lawyer, 1206 01:23:34,097 --> 01:23:37,363 but he says she says she won't have anything to do with lawyers. 1207 01:23:37,396 --> 01:23:40,691 - That's entirely irregular! - Well, it's a thought. 1208 01:23:40,725 --> 01:23:42,834 I tell you, I won't see any lawyers! 1209 01:23:42,868 --> 01:23:45,363 But these things are always handled by lawyers. 1210 01:23:45,396 --> 01:23:49,227 This isn't going to be. This is entirely between my husband and myself. 1211 01:23:49,813 --> 01:23:52,149 - Poppycock! - What's the matter with you? 1212 01:23:52,183 --> 01:23:54,036 They want to make a settlement. 1213 01:23:54,070 --> 01:23:56,181 They'll give you half when you leave for Reno... 1214 01:23:56,215 --> 01:23:58,695 and the balance at the end of six weeks. Name your own price. 1215 01:23:58,729 --> 01:24:01,176 For once that we have a chance to make some honest money... 1216 01:24:01,209 --> 01:24:03,222 Oh, tell him to go peel an eel! 1217 01:24:03,256 --> 01:24:06,136 I don't think you realize the beauty of your situation. 1218 01:24:06,170 --> 01:24:08,073 You're holding a royal flush. 1219 01:24:08,106 --> 01:24:09,943 You've got him right by the ears. 1220 01:24:09,977 --> 01:24:12,714 You know, I had nothing to do with this arrangement. 1221 01:24:12,747 --> 01:24:15,450 But now that you're in it, you might as well go... 1222 01:24:15,484 --> 01:24:18,298 Will you let me speak with Mr. Pike, please? 1223 01:24:18,331 --> 01:24:20,939 She's on the phone. She wants to talk to Mr. Pike. 1224 01:24:20,973 --> 01:24:23,548 We can't allow that. That's entirely irregular! 1225 01:24:23,582 --> 01:24:25,966 Shut up. Will you talk to her? 1226 01:24:25,999 --> 01:24:28,316 I'll rot before I'll talk to her. 1227 01:24:28,350 --> 01:24:30,686 - Mr. Pike, I advise you against - Lay off! 1228 01:24:30,720 --> 01:24:33,022 Hello, Eve. This is Horace talking. 1229 01:24:33,056 --> 01:24:34,877 Hello, darling. I... 1230 01:24:34,911 --> 01:24:37,535 I'm awfully sorry about the trouble I've made you all. 1231 01:24:37,569 --> 01:24:40,528 I thought I had a reason, but now I... 1232 01:24:40,562 --> 01:24:43,455 Well... I just wanted to tell you this. 1233 01:24:43,488 --> 01:24:47,137 I won't see any lawyers, because there's nothing to see them about. 1234 01:24:47,171 --> 01:24:49,665 I don't want any money; I don't want anything. 1235 01:24:49,699 --> 01:24:51,938 He can have back his jewelry and anything else there is, 1236 01:24:51,972 --> 01:24:53,987 and I'll go to Reno at my own expense. 1237 01:24:54,021 --> 01:24:56,578 I think that's only fair. 1238 01:24:56,612 --> 01:24:59,204 There's only one thing I want. 1239 01:24:59,237 --> 01:25:02,246 I want to see him first, and I... 1240 01:25:02,279 --> 01:25:04,903 I want him to ask me to be free. 1241 01:25:04,936 --> 01:25:07,493 That's all. No money, no nothing. 1242 01:25:07,526 --> 01:25:11,356 Only he has to come here to ask me, because... 1243 01:25:12,359 --> 01:25:16,189 well, there's something I want to say to him... 1244 01:25:17,320 --> 01:25:19,847 before we part. 1245 01:25:19,880 --> 01:25:23,711 Just a minute, Eve. All she wants is for you to go to New York and ask her. 1246 01:25:23,850 --> 01:25:26,778 - It's a trick! - Will you keep out of this? 1247 01:25:26,812 --> 01:25:29,673 Well, that's all she wants. When can you go? 1248 01:25:29,707 --> 01:25:33,537 If she's waiting for me to ask her, she can wait till Havana freezes over. 1249 01:25:33,996 --> 01:25:36,843 - Quite right. - I'll have to call you back, Eve. 1250 01:25:36,876 --> 01:25:40,717 He just stepped out of the office for a minute. I'll call you back. 1251 01:25:40,751 --> 01:25:43,753 Now you listen, you numbskull! 1252 01:25:43,787 --> 01:25:46,756 Go ahead and talk. I'm listening. 1253 01:25:56,208 --> 01:25:58,544 Hello? Yes, Horace. 1254 01:25:58,577 --> 01:26:01,425 I'm sorry, Eve. He won't do it. 1255 01:26:01,458 --> 01:26:03,856 I thought it was a pretty fair offer. 1256 01:26:03,890 --> 01:26:07,720 As a matter of fact, I think you're a sucker to make it. 1257 01:26:07,891 --> 01:26:10,546 But he won't do it. 1258 01:26:10,580 --> 01:26:13,555 He seemed very bitter. I'm sorry. 1259 01:26:13,589 --> 01:26:16,565 Oh, let me speak to him. Please, Horace! 1260 01:26:16,599 --> 01:26:19,508 I don't think he'd talk to you, Eve. 1261 01:26:19,542 --> 01:26:22,262 And anyway, he's gone to say good-bye to his mother. 1262 01:26:22,296 --> 01:26:25,463 Where is he going? 1263 01:26:25,497 --> 01:26:29,294 No. 1264 01:26:31,032 --> 01:26:34,862 Thank you, Horace. 1265 01:27:28,517 --> 01:27:32,347 - Why, Hopsie! - Hopsie? 1266 01:27:35,398 --> 01:27:38,273 Hopsie. 1267 01:27:38,307 --> 01:27:41,149 Jean! 1268 01:27:52,266 --> 01:27:55,786 I'm sorry, but if you knew what it meant to me to find you again. 1269 01:27:55,820 --> 01:27:58,315 - Can we go to your cabin or someplace? - Now just a minute. 1270 01:27:58,348 --> 01:28:00,202 Oh, Colonel, I'm delighted to see you again. 1271 01:28:00,235 --> 01:28:03,757 We must play cards this trip. Steward, some champagne for the colonel. 1272 01:28:03,790 --> 01:28:06,125 - Certainly, Mr. Pike. - Come on. 1273 01:28:08,654 --> 01:28:12,484 You really haven't the right to drag me off like this, Hopsie. 1274 01:28:14,767 --> 01:28:18,597 Are you sure we're on the right boat, Sylvester? 1275 01:28:37,972 --> 01:28:41,620 Oh, why didn't you take me in your arms that day? Why did you let me go? 1276 01:28:41,654 --> 01:28:44,021 Why did we have to go through all this nonsense? 1277 01:28:44,055 --> 01:28:46,356 Don't you know you're the only man I ever loved? 1278 01:28:46,390 --> 01:28:49,681 Don't you know I couldn't look at another man if I wanted to? 1279 01:28:49,714 --> 01:28:52,973 Don't you know I waited all my life for you, you big mug? 1280 01:28:55,704 --> 01:28:59,449 - Will you forgive me? - For what? Oh, you mean on the boat. 1281 01:28:59,482 --> 01:29:01,432 The question is, can you forgive me? 1282 01:29:01,465 --> 01:29:04,472 - What for? - Oh, you still don't understand. 1283 01:29:04,506 --> 01:29:08,293 I don't want to understand. I don't want to know. Whatever it is, keep it to yourself. 1284 01:29:08,327 --> 01:29:12,080 All I know is, I adore you. I'll never leave you again. We'll work it out somehow. 1285 01:29:12,155 --> 01:29:14,763 There's just one thing. I feel it's only fair to tell you. 1286 01:29:14,797 --> 01:29:17,372 It would never have happened except she looked like you. 1287 01:29:17,406 --> 01:29:19,836 - I have no right to be in your cabin. - Why? 1288 01:29:19,869 --> 01:29:23,700 - Because I'm married. - But so am I, darling. So am I. 1289 01:29:36,000 --> 01:29:39,830 Positively the same dame!