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Subtitles by: JoeShmoe
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[Guy Narrating] I'm not that good
at a lot of stuff.
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Especially thinking things through.
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And that's why this plan was so shitty.
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But my feelings were hurt...
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and I'm glad I at least did something
about it.
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Making bad decisions is nothing
new to me.
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After all I live alone, at 40...
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and I make my living proofreading...
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product warranties.
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A few weeks ago I took a break from
that however...
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so I could do this whole thing.
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And it's pretty ironic that what I did...
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was exactly what a child would do.
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I threw a tantrum just to get attention.
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[Parent at bee]Really proud.
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I mean I am...
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and excited.
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Meet the big man, right.
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But...
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you know, proud either way, of course.
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Aren't they amazing?
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- Which ones yours? Mine's the...
- No thank you!
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What's that?
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This chat, I'm all set.
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Just trying to get some food in my face
before I get stuck on that stage, okay?!
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Oh, right, my bad. You must be our
host for today.
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No, I'm not.
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I'm the winner!
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Everyone, it's time for the 15th
annual regional spelling bee to begin.
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Take your seats please all of our
noble contestants.
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Please take your seats up on the stage.
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Right on schedule.
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I love the way a hush comes
over the crowd before we start.
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What are you doing up on the
stage weirdo?!
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Your chair called me for help.
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Help me.
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He's too heavy.
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You didn't hear that? I heard it.
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I'm sorry sir.
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Those seats are for competitors only.
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Great! I'm in the right spot.
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Mr. Trilby, I won't allow it. You're
not eligible in any fashion...
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way, shape or manner.
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Page 39 of the Golden Quill National
Spelling Bee rule book.
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This is rule number 24, this is
sub point B.
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This is a quote...
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Speller must not have passed
beyond the 8th grade...
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on or before February 1st, 2011.
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That is a rule written by the
governing institute...
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and if you want you can continue to
ogle my transcript...
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just please don't wrinkle it
any further...
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but you can see that unfortunately...
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I have not passed the 8th grade on or
before Feb. 1st. Not ever.
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- That may be.
- Sir I can go on...
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I can go on and on and on. There are
83 paragraphs, 581 lines of rules...
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in the rulebook. But let me assure you I'm
compliant with every single one of them.
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The spelling bee, isn't it for kids...
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not adults that couldn't even
graduate 8th grade!
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Oh boy. Are we passed the rules and
into the insults now...
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- is it insult time...
- Well I'm sorry.
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because your pot-holder vest is about
to take heavy fire. You ready for that?
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You know what, enough!
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This is all just a moot point.
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Every contestant must be
sponsored by...
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a nationally recognized news service.
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The end!
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I understand, but that doesn't end
the conversation...
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- Guess what.
- [Jenny] Hello.
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- Hey.
- Perfect timing.
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- What's going on here?
- Well...
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- Who's this?
- This is my sponsor.
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From a nationally recognized
news service.
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Jenny Widgeon, the Click and Scroll.
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The What?!
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What's that? Is it something on
the computer?
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Yes we're an online paper.
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Said differently, a nationally
recognized news service.
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They don't want to let me participate.
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Go ahead, set it in motion.
I love your vest.
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In about a half an hour, you're gonna
be receiving...
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a temporary restraining order and...
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a preliminary injunction prohibiting...
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the continuation of this competition...
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until we clear this legal matter up!
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- Plus, and this is a selfish one for me...
- Legal matter?!
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- It's gonna make one hell of a story.
- How dare you try to hijack...
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this spelling bee contest!
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What did you call me?!
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- Hijack!
- Hijack? I'm a hijacker now?
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You're on the hook for defamation too.
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My attorney's will be in touch with
both of you...
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Let's get out of here. But before we
go actually...
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I'd like to watch the both of you address
those poor wonderful children...
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and their very supportive parents,
when you tell them...
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that they have no shot at the
national bee...
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or an opportunity to meet the big man.
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That I want to see. They're going to
be crestfallen.
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I know of one father in particular
who's gonna have to find...
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a whole new way to empty out
his ball bag.
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Let's do it. Bullies and insulters
first. You lead the way.
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Or should I go first?
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The idiot hijacker. Should I lead?
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- You lead.
- No one called you an idiot.
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While you decide I'm gonna bang out
a couple of prayers.
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Which way is Mecca?
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Oleaginous.
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Oleaginous?
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Oleaginous!
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Oleaginous?
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Can I have the definition please?
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Having the nature or quality of oil...
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or...
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unctuous, prawning, smarmy.
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Oleaginous.
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Oleaginous.
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Does it come from the Latin Oleo
meaning olive?
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It does.
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Oleaginous.
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Can I have the part of speech?
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It's an adjective.
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Am I right?
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Yes.
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- Any other pronunciations?
- No!
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Oleaginous.
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O-L-E-A-G-I-N-O-U-S.
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- That is correct!
- [Guy] You got it!
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Hi.
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Absquatulate.
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A-B-S-Q-U-A-T-U-L-A-T-E
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That's...
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Correct!
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- Correct.
- Thank you.
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Hey moms, let's break out the rubber
pillowcases tonight...
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little pricks are gonna be counting
tears, not sheep.
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Who's next!
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BAD WORDS
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Not now, please.
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- Guy, I need some more.
- No!
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- Why at the age of 40...
- C'mon.
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have you decided to annoy educators,
parents and children...
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by forcing your way into a kids
spelling bee?
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Can't you see I'm trying to sleep?!
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Guy, I get at least one answer
per tournament.
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I have 3, very paltry answers...
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it's time for my 4th.
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- [Guy] Shh.
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I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
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While I'm gone I want you to ask
yourself this...
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will, when all of this is over, a 5
answer article...
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be equal compensation for 8 weeks...
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of covered hotel room accommodations...
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qualifying tournament entry fees...
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rental car damage, not to mention
emotional expense.
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- Are you not gonna get up?!
- What? Go you got room.
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- Jesus...Christ!
- If you'd given me the window...
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- I wouldn't have to move.
- Yeah.
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- Don't drag that thing across me!
- Excuse me.
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It's full. You just told me it's full.
I don't want it on me.
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Hi, I'm Chaitanya Chopra.
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Was that English?
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My name is Chaitanya.
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Oh.
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Congratulations.
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- What's yours?
- No!
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- What's your name?
- Spin it around!
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- I'm going to Quill.
- Good for you.
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My dad's up in first class.
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- Great.
- My dad says that economy class...
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- builds character.
- Amazing.
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I was in last years tournament.
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I overheard you say you're going too.
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You're the one who's competing, huh?
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I read about you. What was the
winning word?
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I don't know.
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What was the word you spelled to
win your regional?
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- To get here.
- I don't fucking remember!
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Do you see my eyes closed?!
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Mine was intelligentsia.
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- Awesome.
- C'mon, try.
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How could you forget. It's such a
special word.
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It was auto-fellatio. Okay?
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- I never heard of that word.
- Yeah.
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What is the origin?
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Loneliness.
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Well, that can't be right!
187
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It is.
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I know "auto" is of Greek origin
meaning self, right?
189
00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:37,141
Fellatio, fellatio, fellatio...
190
00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:41,643
Is that derived from the Latin
"fellare" meaning to suck?
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Little man...
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the woman I'm sitting next to...
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knows her way around that subject
real well...
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so why don't you ask her when she
gets back from dropping her deuce...
195
00:10:48,456 --> 00:10:50,861
Meanwhile, if you don't point
that curry hole...
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00:10:50,924 --> 00:10:53,352
that way and sit your fucking ass
down in that seat...
197
00:10:53,398 --> 00:10:55,555
I'm gonna tell the captain that your
bags ticking.
198
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Think you'll have a situation.
199
00:10:58,039 --> 00:10:59,539
Goodnight.
200
00:11:23,734 --> 00:11:25,234
Have a seat.
201
00:11:27,992 --> 00:11:29,392
I'm Bernice Deagan...
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00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:32,115
director of the Golden Quill
national spelling bee.
203
00:11:33,189 --> 00:11:34,689
Struthious.
204
00:11:35,875 --> 00:11:36,635
What'd she say?
205
00:11:36,678 --> 00:11:39,674
S-T-R-U-T-H-I-O-U-S, struthious.
206
00:11:40,788 --> 00:11:42,438
That was my winning word.
207
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:43,523
Oh.
208
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:45,830
1973, national champion.
209
00:11:46,752 --> 00:11:48,830
Just thought you should know that in
case you didn't already.
210
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,408
No I didn't.
211
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:52,440
Guy...
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00:11:52,484 --> 00:11:53,626
- I don't like you.
213
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,169
- [Jenny] Look.
- Quiet!
214
00:11:56,261 --> 00:11:58,047
You know when I was a little girl...
215
00:11:58,386 --> 00:12:00,305
I was always picked last in PE.
216
00:12:00,641 --> 00:12:02,041
I hated sports.
217
00:12:02,126 --> 00:12:03,526
That's what probably, thankfully...
218
00:12:03,531 --> 00:12:05,913
thrusted me into the welcoming bosom
of the spelling bee..
219
00:12:05,956 --> 00:12:08,867
of which I am the director and have
been for over 20 years now.
220
00:12:09,086 --> 00:12:10,586
How did I accomplish that?
221
00:12:11,008 --> 00:12:13,509
Elbow grease, yes, hard work, maybe...
222
00:12:13,611 --> 00:12:15,609
integrity, oh you betcha.
223
00:12:15,925 --> 00:12:19,190
But what I didn't do is use slimy
gimmicks as you have done.
224
00:12:19,299 --> 00:12:21,649
Well you don't know me and you don't
know why I'm here.
225
00:12:21,735 --> 00:12:23,235
Would you like to tell me?
226
00:12:23,445 --> 00:12:24,545
No thank you.
227
00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:26,071
Do you know why he's here?
228
00:12:26,241 --> 00:12:28,937
Oh, I have been trying for weeks.
229
00:12:29,272 --> 00:12:30,472
Alright.
230
00:12:30,524 --> 00:12:33,231
Well whatever issue it is you're here
to work out...
231
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:35,689
perhaps painful 5th grade spelling
bee or...
232
00:12:35,783 --> 00:12:36,413
It's not that.
233
00:12:36,466 --> 00:12:37,766
I'm not asking!
234
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:40,236
I'm simply telling you you're in
the wrong place.
235
00:12:40,463 --> 00:12:42,051
No this is the spot.
236
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,058
I'm gonna be out of your hair
in 3 days though.
237
00:12:44,766 --> 00:12:46,166
Perhaps sooner.
238
00:12:46,188 --> 00:12:49,260
Because however smart you think you are
with this loophole your snaking through...
239
00:12:49,307 --> 00:12:52,744
I'll bet you're not half as smart as
even our worst speller.
240
00:12:53,054 --> 00:12:56,101
So B-R-A-V-O Mr. Trilby.
241
00:12:56,241 --> 00:12:57,297
You've made it.
242
00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:59,180
That one I know. It's bravo.
243
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:02,711
All the way to your own hanging.
244
00:13:03,563 --> 00:13:05,199
Your noose. Enjoy.
245
00:13:05,867 --> 00:13:07,367
Can I ask you a question?
246
00:13:07,627 --> 00:13:10,388
On your wife’s birthday, does she
get to wear the strap-on...
247
00:13:10,431 --> 00:13:12,852
or do you hog that thing 365?
248
00:13:12,898 --> 00:13:15,280
- That's yours right. You hold onto that.
- Good day!
249
00:13:15,323 --> 00:13:17,716
- You don't share that with anybody.
- Good day!
250
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:21,555
- I thank you very much.
- Oh you can thank Dr. Bowman.
251
00:13:21,886 --> 00:13:24,583
He was very disappointed he couldn't
personally place that...
252
00:13:24,669 --> 00:13:25,883
around your throat.
253
00:13:25,968 --> 00:13:29,139
Oh yeah. Is he busy doing
something more pleasurable...
254
00:13:29,186 --> 00:13:30,313
with another guy's throat?
255
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,252
He is in the middle of a very
important media training session.
256
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,522
Surely you're aware that your little
stunt has landed...
257
00:13:35,576 --> 00:13:38,244
on the very first year we're
televising this tournament!
258
00:13:38,330 --> 00:13:39,938
Hang on...
259
00:13:40,172 --> 00:13:41,792
That is a coincidence.
260
00:13:42,042 --> 00:13:43,687
It doesn't bother you that...
261
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,648
a few million people will witness
your embarrassment?
262
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,922
I'm not gonna be the one with the red
face. Trust me.
263
00:13:49,022 --> 00:13:50,522
I'm not here for that.
264
00:13:51,445 --> 00:13:52,945
Okay.
265
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,499
Okay.
266
00:13:55,436 --> 00:13:57,117
See you later.
267
00:13:57,164 --> 00:14:00,570
Oh, and I personally arranged
your hotel accommodations.
268
00:14:00,921 --> 00:14:02,989
- I bet they're not awesome.
- They're not!
269
00:14:04,263 --> 00:14:05,934
Nice to meet you.
270
00:14:09,554 --> 00:14:12,610
[Guy narrating]I had plenty of
opportunities to stop what I was doing.
271
00:14:13,012 --> 00:14:14,657
To make a good decision.
272
00:14:15,672 --> 00:14:19,295
But that would have required the kind
of lessons I was never taught.
273
00:14:21,534 --> 00:14:24,666
Oh, um, there's an ice-cream social
at 5:30pm.
274
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:27,398
You gonna be there?
275
00:14:27,441 --> 00:14:28,742
Ok, no, well...
276
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,719
I could be pretty late to that.
277
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:31,935
Really late.
278
00:14:31,978 --> 00:14:33,478
Super late!
279
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:34,508
Meet me there though.
280
00:14:34,563 --> 00:14:36,081
- Here's your key Mr. Trible.
- Thank you.
281
00:14:36,433 --> 00:14:39,051
- Ma’am, I'll be right back with yours.
- Oh, bummer.
282
00:14:39,184 --> 00:14:40,684
See ya.
283
00:14:41,945 --> 00:14:43,445
[Chaitanya] Hold the door!
284
00:14:48,258 --> 00:14:49,776
Hey, pool side too.
285
00:14:52,664 --> 00:14:54,466
Did you remember your winning word?
286
00:14:55,576 --> 00:14:56,990
I'm Chaitanya, remember?
287
00:14:57,041 --> 00:14:58,541
I can't do it again, Shwarma.
288
00:14:58,687 --> 00:15:00,187
Chaitanya.
289
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:03,271
How about just your favorite word.
290
00:15:03,326 --> 00:15:05,516
I'm serious pal.
291
00:15:05,586 --> 00:15:07,930
- You don't have one?
- I don't. Nope, sorry.
292
00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:11,023
Mine is subjugate.
293
00:15:11,105 --> 00:15:13,100
It just sounds so cool, you know.
294
00:15:13,195 --> 00:15:14,695
Subjugate.
295
00:15:15,216 --> 00:15:17,000
Subjugate.
296
00:15:17,648 --> 00:15:19,366
Subjugate.
297
00:15:20,494 --> 00:15:21,894
What's yours?
298
00:15:21,924 --> 00:15:23,783
Can we shut the fuck up?!
299
00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:27,491
Well, that's four words. A
sentence really.
300
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:29,577
Pretend you're on a desert island...
301
00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:31,134
and this gorilla comes out of
the jungle...
302
00:15:31,243 --> 00:15:32,755
he holds a gun to your head and says...
303
00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:34,845
hoo hoo, tell me what your favorite
word is.
304
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,092
- What would you say?
- Sweet fuck!
305
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,699
- We got a gorilla with a gun!
- Yeah a gorilla with a gun.
306
00:15:38,778 --> 00:15:41,259
- And he's on a desert island?
- He's standing right there.
307
00:15:41,321 --> 00:15:43,290
Here's what I'd do. I'd kick some sand
in the monkey's face...
308
00:15:43,392 --> 00:15:44,610
I'd take his gun and hunt you down...
309
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,164
I'd stick it in your mouth and
I'd tell you...
310
00:15:46,207 --> 00:15:48,775
to stop trying to get all up in
my kitchen, kid.
311
00:15:48,818 --> 00:15:51,722
Again, that's a sentence. We can
finish that later.
312
00:15:51,792 --> 00:15:53,292
Bye bye.
313
00:16:05,328 --> 00:16:06,336
Come on.
314
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:09,711
Unfortunately the hotel is
completely sold out.
315
00:16:10,155 --> 00:16:11,953
I don't have a bathroom.
316
00:16:12,227 --> 00:16:13,727
Yeah.
317
00:16:16,195 --> 00:16:18,961
Where would the hotel like me to
put my piss and shit?
318
00:16:27,016 --> 00:16:36,664
[Sportscaster on tv
describing event]
319
00:16:36,711 --> 00:16:38,398
- Bartender.
- Yes?
320
00:16:38,913 --> 00:16:40,491
Do you know how to make an
old fashioned?
321
00:16:40,555 --> 00:16:42,055
- Sure.
- Okay.
322
00:16:42,742 --> 00:16:44,242
Actually make that two.
323
00:16:48,388 --> 00:16:49,888
No mini-bar huh?
324
00:16:50,156 --> 00:16:52,218
They put me in a storage closet.
325
00:16:53,750 --> 00:16:56,015
I think the queen bee is sending
you a message.
326
00:16:57,063 --> 00:16:58,563
Whatever.
327
00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:00,664
Oh, god.
328
00:17:02,109 --> 00:17:03,680
A lot of parents around here.
329
00:17:05,656 --> 00:17:08,272
I'm bursting at the seems with parents.
330
00:17:09,773 --> 00:17:11,273
[Bartender] Here you go.
331
00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:14,175
- Where are your parents?
- Jenny, c'mon.
332
00:17:14,239 --> 00:17:15,739
I just wanna have a drink in peace.
333
00:17:16,071 --> 00:17:18,539
Okay? And can I give you a little
journalistic advice?
334
00:17:19,186 --> 00:17:20,686
Don't try so hard.
335
00:17:20,747 --> 00:17:22,542
Get on the clock. We're here 3 days.
336
00:17:22,636 --> 00:17:24,314
So just, you know...
337
00:17:24,368 --> 00:17:26,290
Difficult to talk when you're
being smothered.
338
00:17:27,558 --> 00:17:29,844
You're an insolent child.
339
00:17:29,997 --> 00:17:31,945
Hiding secrets from his mommy.
340
00:17:31,992 --> 00:17:34,751
Really, you're not half the broad my
mother was, so...
341
00:17:35,406 --> 00:17:36,906
or is.
342
00:17:42,733 --> 00:17:44,233
Seat opened up.
343
00:17:45,862 --> 00:17:49,179
I don't wanna talk and I don't wanna
drink I'm dead serious.
344
00:17:49,227 --> 00:17:51,304
Either you leave or I'm going to.
345
00:17:51,562 --> 00:17:55,779
Or you could stay. I could buy you
yet another dinner.
346
00:17:55,822 --> 00:17:56,542
No!
347
00:17:56,585 --> 00:18:00,758
You could expand on those 3 measely
answers that you've given me this far.
348
00:18:00,898 --> 00:18:02,402
You know too much already.
349
00:18:05,762 --> 00:18:08,205
Hold on a second.
350
00:18:08,439 --> 00:18:13,208
Wild turkey. Olive green. 32A.
351
00:18:14,321 --> 00:18:18,930
Favorite drink, color and breast size,
are first date questions.
352
00:18:18,977 --> 00:18:22,005
Or maybe you've never been on one
of those?
353
00:18:22,122 --> 00:18:23,747
Can you leave me alone.
354
00:18:23,805 --> 00:18:25,305
I've asked you like 4 or 5 times.
355
00:18:25,336 --> 00:18:27,476
Why don't you tell me why you're
so angry with the world.
356
00:18:27,519 --> 00:18:29,328
Just, c'mon. Go ahead.
357
00:18:29,956 --> 00:18:32,484
Screw! Please.
358
00:18:40,142 --> 00:18:42,102
- Screw?
- Screw!
359
00:18:43,203 --> 00:18:44,807
Fuck off. Did it.
360
00:18:45,018 --> 00:18:48,785
Did you just tire of the words,
"fuck off" ?
361
00:18:48,917 --> 00:18:52,813
Because I know you're not suggesting
I let you fuck me again.
362
00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:57,859
First of all, you're welcome.
363
00:18:58,375 --> 00:19:02,256
If you'd like me to consider
another "event"...
364
00:19:02,779 --> 00:19:05,096
with you, you can ask me nicely.
365
00:19:06,951 --> 00:19:11,039
And secondly, "fuck off" works just
great if that's what you prefer.
366
00:19:11,082 --> 00:19:12,747
Does that sound better to you?
367
00:19:13,675 --> 00:19:15,563
Or does "screw" sound pretty nice?
368
00:19:32,332 --> 00:19:33,916
- Alright?
- We're doing great.
369
00:19:33,976 --> 00:19:35,476
Okay.
370
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,832
Ooh, yeah.
371
00:19:37,895 --> 00:19:39,395
- Do not look at me!
- Okay.
372
00:19:40,563 --> 00:19:41,789
Do not look at me!
373
00:19:41,852 --> 00:19:43,152
You're fucking staring at me,
you know.
374
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:44,680
It's kinda creepy.
375
00:19:48,414 --> 00:19:50,396
Don't look at me. DON'T LOOK AT ME!
376
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,646
Don't look at me. I'll have to start
again.
377
00:19:52,689 --> 00:19:53,689
- I understand.
378
00:19:53,753 --> 00:19:55,445
- Faster!
- Okay.
379
00:19:55,712 --> 00:19:57,219
We could be here all night.
380
00:19:57,266 --> 00:19:58,766
Build it up.
381
00:19:59,155 --> 00:20:00,655
Climbing a mountain.
382
00:20:02,899 --> 00:20:04,399
One foot in front of the other.
383
00:20:07,675 --> 00:20:09,227
Now we're jogging.
384
00:20:09,882 --> 00:20:11,437
Now we're jogging.
385
00:20:11,984 --> 00:20:12,984
Who wants to run?
386
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,884
DON'T LOOK AT ME! Do you want me
to grab your balls?
387
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,087
Do you want me to stick my fingers
in your asshole?
388
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,718
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
389
00:20:26,076 --> 00:20:27,576
Don't look at me!
390
00:20:28,883 --> 00:20:31,179
Ugh... Wow!
391
00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:33,960
So, second time.
392
00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:35,101
Shame on me.
393
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,603
Well I had a good time too. Thanks.
394
00:20:40,226 --> 00:20:41,626
So if I need fresh towels in
the morning...
395
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,326
I should just, put my name on
this?
396
00:20:45,688 --> 00:20:46,888
Okay.
397
00:20:46,961 --> 00:20:48,361
I'll see you tomorrow.
398
00:20:48,422 --> 00:20:50,411
- So whatever, yeah.
- Bye.
399
00:21:15,057 --> 00:21:17,172
You know, if you really had it
all together...
400
00:21:17,349 --> 00:21:19,031
you wouldn't be leaving your under...
401
00:21:19,305 --> 00:21:22,307
Sorry to bother you, but the lady
said you were still awake.
402
00:21:22,822 --> 00:21:25,151
Would you mind helping me open
this jar of pretzels?
403
00:21:26,515 --> 00:21:27,615
Wow!
404
00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:29,404
Small room.
405
00:21:31,571 --> 00:21:34,844
Can you help me? I haven't had
anything to eat all night.
406
00:21:35,015 --> 00:21:36,338
I was studying my words all night...
407
00:21:36,381 --> 00:21:37,681
but I missed room service hours..
408
00:21:37,712 --> 00:21:39,742
and this jar is too hard for me
to open.
409
00:21:48,252 --> 00:21:50,776
Are you opening it now, or have
you taken it?
410
00:21:52,390 --> 00:21:53,590
Great.
411
00:21:53,648 --> 00:21:54,948
Thanks.
412
00:21:55,039 --> 00:21:57,814
I was also wondering if you wanted
to be my friend?
413
00:21:58,086 --> 00:21:59,658
Why would I want to be friends
with a 9 year old?
414
00:22:00,023 --> 00:22:02,438
Ten but... ok it's cool.
415
00:22:03,211 --> 00:22:06,052
I just thought it would be fun to study
together before tomorrow.
416
00:22:06,398 --> 00:22:08,358
Drink soda pop from the mini-bar
and stuff.
417
00:22:09,648 --> 00:22:11,648
- You have a mini-bar in there?
- I do.
418
00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:14,698
What about mom and dad?
419
00:22:14,735 --> 00:22:17,365
My dad believes I should learn how
to be my own man.
420
00:22:17,484 --> 00:22:18,492
And that means...
421
00:22:18,576 --> 00:22:20,840
staying in my own hotel room
myself this weekend.
422
00:22:22,079 --> 00:22:24,063
So you're just staying in a different
room down here, is it?
423
00:22:25,538 --> 00:22:28,032
He's staying at a fancier hotel a
few blocks away.
424
00:22:28,726 --> 00:22:30,358
Nice guy.
425
00:22:30,476 --> 00:22:31,582
It's kinda neat...
426
00:22:31,628 --> 00:22:33,378
I get to jump on the bed as much
as I want.
427
00:22:33,714 --> 00:22:36,666
But tonight, I messed up and missed
room service.
428
00:22:37,984 --> 00:22:39,484
Have you named your binder?
429
00:22:39,537 --> 00:22:41,542
Yes. Todd.
430
00:22:41,714 --> 00:22:44,289
It has all the words I've ever
memorized in them.
431
00:22:44,391 --> 00:22:46,008
And their origins.
432
00:22:46,677 --> 00:22:48,797
Todd's my key to success.
433
00:22:48,891 --> 00:22:51,957
I think I've spent more hours with
Todd than even my parents.
434
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:55,445
He's cool and he's smart and that's
why I named him, Todd.
435
00:22:56,062 --> 00:22:57,764
No, that makes sense.
436
00:22:59,783 --> 00:23:01,674
Have you figured out your favorite word?
437
00:23:01,819 --> 00:23:03,319
No I sure haven't.
438
00:23:04,226 --> 00:23:05,825
Is it the "F" word?
439
00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:08,119
It's up there.
440
00:23:08,125 --> 00:23:09,425
Cause you say it a lot.
441
00:23:09,477 --> 00:23:10,977
Everyone should.
442
00:23:11,112 --> 00:23:13,906
Not me. My father says bad words.
443
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:15,953
What about your dad?
444
00:23:15,996 --> 00:23:18,688
Never met him. But my mom said bad
words, a lot.
445
00:23:18,906 --> 00:23:21,039
But you can say bad words. Who
gives a shit.
446
00:23:21,336 --> 00:23:22,836
- I shouldn't.
- Why not?
447
00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:25,531
You just say what you feel, you know.
That's a good effort. Why don't you try one.
448
00:23:25,999 --> 00:23:28,333
I feel the opposite of bad wordy
right now.
449
00:23:29,383 --> 00:23:31,805
Will you just say something bad
you fucking Quaker.
450
00:23:34,648 --> 00:23:36,413
- Mother fucker!?
- Great!
451
00:23:36,477 --> 00:23:38,031
Perfect. That's a good one.
452
00:23:38,476 --> 00:23:40,641
And did your soul burst into
flames? No.
453
00:23:40,969 --> 00:23:42,069
Nope.
454
00:23:42,132 --> 00:23:43,632
I'm okay.
455
00:23:44,213 --> 00:23:46,612
You're a little weirdo, you know that?
456
00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:07,320
Hey. Hey.
457
00:24:08,788 --> 00:24:09,888
It's morning.
458
00:24:09,913 --> 00:24:12,703
You passed out last night and I was
scared to wake you.
459
00:24:12,941 --> 00:24:15,117
My dad will be here any minute. You
should go.
460
00:24:15,164 --> 00:24:16,664
Okay.
461
00:24:22,035 --> 00:24:24,144
You sleep good, dick head?
462
00:24:28,405 --> 00:24:30,921
[Jenny] So what do you want to know about
this morning?
463
00:24:31,062 --> 00:24:33,035
Nothing, unless it's really important.
464
00:24:33,078 --> 00:24:35,906
You're going to be seated next to
Braden Aftergood.
465
00:24:35,973 --> 00:24:37,473
He comes from bee royalty.
466
00:24:37,538 --> 00:24:39,843
- Consider me warned.
- Good because he is awesome.
467
00:24:40,701 --> 00:24:41,534
- Is he?
- Yeah.
468
00:24:41,577 --> 00:24:42,810
Is he a great speller?
469
00:24:42,853 --> 00:24:45,149
Did I leave my underpants in your
room last night?
470
00:24:45,429 --> 00:24:48,906
Oh as a matter of fact. You... I don't know.
471
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:50,933
Would you look for me, please?
472
00:24:51,050 --> 00:24:53,289
- I only brought three pairs.
- I probably would have seen them, Jenny.
473
00:24:53,374 --> 00:24:55,675
My room has no sink, shower or toilet.
474
00:24:56,258 --> 00:24:58,135
Score one for Deagan.
475
00:24:58,219 --> 00:25:00,672
And you can put me on the board too.
476
00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:08,865
[Guy narrating] Obviously if I could
figure out a way to be less stubborn...
477
00:25:08,953 --> 00:25:11,490
the right way to fix things would be
easier to see.
478
00:25:11,568 --> 00:25:13,493
Window! Window! Right there!
479
00:26:09,131 --> 00:26:10,431
Pretty impressive.
480
00:26:10,437 --> 00:26:13,545
[Announcer in background] All right
everybody... we've got 5 minutes.
481
00:26:14,210 --> 00:26:16,006
[Usher] Press. Pick and Scroll.
482
00:26:16,343 --> 00:26:17,543
[Bernice]Yeah, I understand all that.
483
00:26:17,625 --> 00:26:20,068
Here's the randomized list for
this round.
484
00:26:20,164 --> 00:26:23,555
Do me a favor and enunciate this year.
485
00:26:25,453 --> 00:26:26,753
Well...
486
00:26:26,789 --> 00:26:28,365
look who's here.
487
00:26:28,610 --> 00:26:30,219
Hook around your chair or
something?
488
00:26:31,001 --> 00:26:32,040
Good luck.
489
00:26:32,101 --> 00:26:35,157
- [Usher] Hold on.
- [Guy] I'm a contestant.
490
00:26:36,789 --> 00:26:38,289
How you doing?
491
00:26:43,072 --> 00:26:44,372
Guy.
492
00:26:44,460 --> 00:26:46,269
Oh, look who's here. Hi.
493
00:26:49,914 --> 00:26:51,688
Where's me? Is this me?
494
00:26:52,335 --> 00:26:53,835
Excuse me.
495
00:27:07,957 --> 00:27:12,634
Welcome everyone to the 111th annual
Golden Quill national spelling bee.
496
00:27:12,703 --> 00:27:16,953
I'm Pete Fowler coming to you live from
historic Figeroa Auditorium...
497
00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:19,573
here in sunny Los Angeles, California.
498
00:27:19,690 --> 00:27:22,581
This year marks the first year that
the Golden Quill..
499
00:27:22,643 --> 00:27:24,043
has been nationally televised...
500
00:27:24,044 --> 00:27:27,403
and we can think of no better captain
for such a maiden voyage...
501
00:27:27,481 --> 00:27:30,509
then the president of the
Quill Institute itself...
502
00:27:30,595 --> 00:27:33,102
welcome to your tournament,
Professor William Bowman...
503
00:27:33,196 --> 00:27:35,648
or should I say, Dr. Bowman.
504
00:27:35,910 --> 00:27:38,023
That all depends on whether your
sick or confused.
505
00:27:38,351 --> 00:27:40,132
Otherwise, just Bill.
506
00:27:40,413 --> 00:27:42,614
Well, let's get started shall we?
507
00:27:42,733 --> 00:27:46,233
We have all 50 competitors in the room
and we're ready to begin.
508
00:27:46,306 --> 00:27:48,951
Our first competitor is Ling Quan.
509
00:27:49,068 --> 00:27:52,892
Ling says that when she grows up she'd like
to be president of the United States...
510
00:27:52,991 --> 00:27:55,508
making it your 4th to reach the office,
would it not?
511
00:27:55,586 --> 00:27:57,983
It would. Best of luck, Ling.
512
00:27:59,687 --> 00:28:01,187
Dactylogram.
513
00:28:01,668 --> 00:28:03,375
Dactylogram?
514
00:28:03,802 --> 00:28:05,359
Dactylogram.
515
00:28:05,789 --> 00:28:07,289
Dactylogram?!
516
00:28:09,445 --> 00:28:10,945
Dactylogram!
517
00:28:12,218 --> 00:28:14,098
Can I have the definition, please.
518
00:28:16,148 --> 00:28:17,759
A fingerprint.
519
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:20,923
Dactylogram.
520
00:28:21,859 --> 00:28:23,651
May I have the origin, please.
521
00:28:24,066 --> 00:28:27,289
From the Greek combination "Dactylo".
522
00:28:27,531 --> 00:28:29,031
I'm Guy.
523
00:28:29,078 --> 00:28:31,470
And your Braden, right,
Braden Aftergood?
524
00:28:33,366 --> 00:28:35,123
- I'm not supposed to talk to you.
- [Ling in background] Dactylogram.
525
00:28:36,230 --> 00:28:37,730
Why not?
526
00:28:37,785 --> 00:28:41,440
Because my dad says you're probably
just an unemployed bum...
527
00:28:41,688 --> 00:28:44,086
trying to steal the prize money that
I deserve.
528
00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:45,908
And that you're a cheater.
529
00:28:46,234 --> 00:28:47,768
[Ling in background] Dactylogram.
530
00:28:48,984 --> 00:28:50,484
He said that, huh?
531
00:28:51,547 --> 00:28:53,047
He did.
532
00:28:53,319 --> 00:28:55,100
[Proctor] It is a noun.
533
00:28:58,545 --> 00:28:59,845
[Ling] Dactylogram
534
00:28:59,906 --> 00:29:02,586
Can you tell your dad that I don't
blame him for being angry.
535
00:29:02,845 --> 00:29:04,719
And then can you do me another favor?
536
00:29:04,765 --> 00:29:06,635
Can you give these to your mother?
537
00:29:06,823 --> 00:29:08,973
She left those in my room last night.
538
00:29:09,156 --> 00:29:13,488
I would do it myself, but your
dad ?? his mood...
539
00:29:13,538 --> 00:29:14,620
I don't want to kick the nest.
540
00:29:14,733 --> 00:29:16,617
Do you know what I mean?
541
00:29:17,303 --> 00:29:20,318
Oh buddy, good luck with that
divorce, they get so nasty.
542
00:29:20,390 --> 00:29:22,193
What are you talking about?
543
00:29:22,266 --> 00:29:25,008
I'm talking about probably a very
dysfunctional marriage.
544
00:29:25,431 --> 00:29:26,931
I'm glad I was there for her.
545
00:29:27,139 --> 00:29:28,969
It's just animal instinct too you know.
546
00:29:29,133 --> 00:29:30,633
[Ling in background] D-A-
547
00:29:30,656 --> 00:29:33,437
She can't help it, she's just
human, okay.
548
00:29:33,547 --> 00:29:35,672
And she was very sweet. I want you
to know that.
549
00:29:35,844 --> 00:29:37,790
[Ling spelling in background]
550
00:29:37,965 --> 00:29:41,078
She held me afterward. Nice woman.
551
00:29:41,125 --> 00:29:43,280
- [Proctor] That is correct.
- Hey!
552
00:29:45,583 --> 00:29:46,783
You're up dog.
553
00:29:46,822 --> 00:29:50,734
[Dr. Bowman] Brave, intelligent.
You've got my vote.
554
00:29:51,337 --> 00:29:53,939
Next up we have probably one of this
years strongest competitors...
555
00:29:54,018 --> 00:29:55,025
Braden Aftergood.
556
00:29:55,117 --> 00:29:57,890
Oh that reminds me. My very first
spelling bee...
557
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,107
I had my lucky bottle cap in my
back pocket.
558
00:30:00,226 --> 00:30:02,631
Looks like he's got his good luck
hanky there.
559
00:30:04,294 --> 00:30:05,810
Noctivagant.
560
00:30:10,316 --> 00:30:13,118
I'm sorry, definition?
561
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,522
Going about in the night...
562
00:30:16,565 --> 00:30:18,065
night wandering.
563
00:30:23,449 --> 00:30:25,742
- Noctivagant.
- [Proctor] Noctivagant.
564
00:30:25,789 --> 00:30:27,428
Can you use it in a sentence?
565
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,609
The noctivagant alley cat...
566
00:30:31,929 --> 00:30:35,273
kept the entire neighborhood
up all night...
567
00:30:35,355 --> 00:30:40,057
by sitting on a fence, yowling out to
her many suitors.
568
00:30:41,650 --> 00:30:43,327
Noctivagant.
569
00:30:50,374 --> 00:30:51,983
Noctivagant.
570
00:30:52,749 --> 00:30:55,606
N-O-C
571
00:30:55,833 --> 00:30:57,944
T-I-V-I
572
00:30:58,896 --> 00:31:00,396
G-A-N-T
573
00:31:00,439 --> 00:31:01,939
Noctivagant.
574
00:31:04,635 --> 00:31:06,135
God.
575
00:31:06,148 --> 00:31:07,811
- [Pete]Well we have our first elimination...
- [Guy] I'll be right back.
576
00:31:07,854 --> 00:31:08,672
of the tournament.
577
00:31:08,715 --> 00:31:10,629
[Dr. Bowman] Yes and surprisingly
early too.
578
00:31:10,682 --> 00:31:14,977
[Pete] Next up is Mr. Guy Trilby. He's
40 years old, lives in Columbus, Ohio..
579
00:31:15,023 --> 00:31:18,133
Now clearly Mr. Trilby has found a
loophole in the rules of entry...
580
00:31:18,176 --> 00:31:19,676
and is exploiting it.
581
00:31:19,742 --> 00:31:22,217
Needless to say this is
beyond unfortunate.
582
00:31:22,265 --> 00:31:25,147
My staff and I are making all the
efforts necessary to...
583
00:31:25,214 --> 00:31:28,797
rectify the problem for the tournaments
in the years that follow.
584
00:31:29,116 --> 00:31:32,475
With that addressed, on with the
competition and the man himself...
585
00:31:32,586 --> 00:31:34,086
Guy Trilby.
586
00:31:34,406 --> 00:31:35,906
My turn.
587
00:31:37,007 --> 00:31:38,507
Frabjous.
588
00:31:40,117 --> 00:31:41,317
F-R-A-B
589
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:42,820
J-O-U-S
590
00:31:43,484 --> 00:31:44,984
That is correct.
591
00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:53,468
- [Angry crowd murmuring]
- [Bernice] Thank you. That's enough!
592
00:31:53,517 --> 00:31:55,250
[Bernice] Listen! Listen!
593
00:31:55,297 --> 00:31:59,373
We are doing all we can to find a happy
resolution... to this situation.
594
00:31:59,498 --> 00:32:00,698
[Angry parent] Aren't you embarrassed?!
595
00:32:00,740 --> 00:32:02,734
This is gonna go down in history
as the most...
596
00:32:02,828 --> 00:32:04,578
ridiculous spelling bee ever...
597
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,646
and it's gonna be on your head. He's
a grown man.
598
00:32:07,689 --> 00:32:10,522
Do you know how much money I've spent
on goddamn coaches.
599
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,836
- I'm sure it's a lot.
- A ton!
600
00:32:12,922 --> 00:32:14,122
He's a lunatic.
601
00:32:14,212 --> 00:32:15,112
Yes he is.
602
00:32:15,141 --> 00:32:19,196
So fix it or I swear on my childs
life with God as my witness...
603
00:32:19,239 --> 00:32:21,272
this will be the last year you're the
director of this bee!
604
00:32:21,315 --> 00:32:23,187
Alright. There's no need for threats.
605
00:32:23,281 --> 00:32:26,926
Now if we can all just leave my office
I can assure you...
606
00:32:26,976 --> 00:32:29,382
this matter is in very capable hands.
607
00:32:29,754 --> 00:32:33,031
Now keep in mind Mr. Trilby doesn't
have the discipline and practice...
608
00:32:33,082 --> 00:32:34,488
that all of your children have.
609
00:32:34,582 --> 00:32:37,211
He's made it through the first round.
610
00:32:37,258 --> 00:32:39,898
But Dr. Bowman and I are extremely
confidant...
611
00:32:39,941 --> 00:32:41,965
he's not going to make it much farther.
612
00:32:42,039 --> 00:32:45,594
And I also swear on your
children's lives...
613
00:32:45,703 --> 00:32:47,441
if he makes it to the final round...
614
00:32:47,514 --> 00:32:50,253
I'll step down as the director of
the bee, immediately.
615
00:32:50,437 --> 00:32:51,937
Good day!
616
00:32:59,156 --> 00:33:01,695
I'll jump in the shower as soon
as this buzz kicks in.
617
00:33:06,996 --> 00:33:08,732
Let me ask you a question.
618
00:33:09,162 --> 00:33:11,240
What's the grammatical significance...
619
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,337
of the sentence "why run from fire ants"?
620
00:33:18,531 --> 00:33:19,731
Is this a test?
621
00:33:19,788 --> 00:33:21,898
No. This isn't a que.. uh...
622
00:33:21,966 --> 00:33:24,094
I was wondering what the grammatical
significance of that sentence was...
623
00:33:24,430 --> 00:33:26,598
- "why run from fire ants"
- Right.
624
00:33:26,641 --> 00:33:29,211
Well, every vowels in there.
625
00:33:29,609 --> 00:33:32,195
Starting with the "u" going to the "a".
626
00:33:32,648 --> 00:33:34,048
Right, it's backwards.
627
00:33:34,100 --> 00:33:35,600
I guess it's easy...
628
00:33:35,679 --> 00:33:38,352
you know, for a sentence. I
mean I wish there was...
629
00:33:38,765 --> 00:33:41,374
one word that had all the vowels in it...
630
00:33:41,547 --> 00:33:43,380
but in alphabetical order.
631
00:33:44,539 --> 00:33:46,726
- "Facetious".
- Son of a bitch!
632
00:33:46,773 --> 00:33:48,173
- I got it?
- You're brilliant.
633
00:33:48,255 --> 00:33:49,972
- Give me another on.
- You're a genius.
634
00:33:50,032 --> 00:33:52,180
These questions are from the test they
give the geniuses.
635
00:33:52,223 --> 00:33:54,992
I got a hold of your school records,
Guy Trilby.
636
00:33:55,039 --> 00:33:57,289
Your 8th grade counselor made a note...
637
00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:59,856
on your file just before you
dropped out saying...
638
00:33:59,942 --> 00:34:02,286
that you showed signs of being a genius.
639
00:34:02,574 --> 00:34:04,203
FedEx was waiting for me when
I got here.
640
00:34:04,461 --> 00:34:05,861
I told you I was good.
641
00:34:05,913 --> 00:34:08,014
Mr. Leavenworth. What a dick he was.
642
00:34:08,469 --> 00:34:11,563
Told me I was a useless loser and
then he makes secret notes saying...
643
00:34:11,606 --> 00:34:13,447
that he thinks that I'm smart?!
644
00:34:15,047 --> 00:34:17,006
Glad I stole his bike and
shaved his cat.
645
00:34:18,032 --> 00:34:21,118
You just never had a chance to shine
in this school.
646
00:34:21,203 --> 00:34:23,822
- You just never had a chance to realize...
- Who didn't have a shitty upbringing.
647
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,875
My dad wasn't around. I mean it goes
on and on and on.
648
00:34:26,918 --> 00:34:28,503
Who skated through their adolescence?
649
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,620
- Where was your father?
- I don't know.
650
00:34:32,437 --> 00:34:35,116
You got something there. Where's
your pen?
651
00:34:35,186 --> 00:34:37,636
Or maybe he was brilliant. Maybe
your mom was.
652
00:34:37,679 --> 00:34:40,327
They say that sometimes a brilliance
and photographic memory...
653
00:34:40,390 --> 00:34:41,390
which you have are inherited.
654
00:34:41,398 --> 00:34:43,797
Well it didn't come from mom. She hated
everything to do with education.
655
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,054
This one time when I was a kid...
656
00:34:45,097 --> 00:34:46,813
I tried to get into this local spelling
bee ironically enough...
657
00:34:46,859 --> 00:34:48,860
and she burnt my favorite dictionary.
658
00:34:49,156 --> 00:34:50,656
Is that why your here?
659
00:34:51,250 --> 00:34:53,759
A chance to do something you weren't
able to do while she was alive?
660
00:34:53,860 --> 00:34:55,870
Are we in interview mode, now,
c'mon. I mean...
661
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,827
we can't just have a normal conversation
without turning it into an interview.
662
00:34:58,913 --> 00:35:00,460
- I'm a reporter.
- That's a good point.
663
00:35:00,570 --> 00:35:02,070
Can't you talk, too?
664
00:35:02,442 --> 00:35:04,829
You know, you have problems,
Guy Trilby.
665
00:35:04,977 --> 00:35:07,919
You're a shrink too? A shrink
on top of being a reporter?
666
00:35:07,962 --> 00:35:09,101
I don't know how you crammed it all in.
667
00:35:09,155 --> 00:35:10,665
You're the one with the problem.
668
00:35:10,732 --> 00:35:13,638
You have to be blindfolded to get off.
That's a problem.
669
00:35:13,818 --> 00:35:16,585
Oh! Well don't worry about that, Guy...
670
00:35:16,628 --> 00:35:18,460
cause that's never gonna happen again.
671
00:35:18,515 --> 00:35:20,695
- Great.
- Oh, yeah great.
672
00:35:20,765 --> 00:35:21,665
You promise?
673
00:35:21,726 --> 00:35:25,369
I wouldn't let you near my vagina
again if you paid me a million dollars.
674
00:35:25,617 --> 00:35:28,090
- [Jenny] Don't look at me!
- Yeah [mumbles]...
675
00:35:28,902 --> 00:35:31,656
Be quiet your voice eats hard-ons.
676
00:35:31,925 --> 00:35:33,025
I'm sorry.
677
00:35:33,049 --> 00:35:34,914
??
678
00:35:34,973 --> 00:35:38,957
Okay... Ooh... Okay! You are sorry.
679
00:35:39,628 --> 00:35:40,728
Now that's generous.
680
00:35:40,749 --> 00:35:42,249
- We're okay?
- Uh huh.
681
00:35:42,621 --> 00:35:46,303
Hang on. This might be easier? Hold on,
hold on, hold on...
682
00:35:46,390 --> 00:35:48,643
- Now hold still.
- That's easier, right?
683
00:35:49,201 --> 00:35:50,701
Don't look at me. I get it.
684
00:35:51,304 --> 00:35:53,318
I get it. Don't look at me!
685
00:35:56,895 --> 00:35:58,395
Hey did you get locked out?
686
00:35:58,896 --> 00:36:01,681
I was wondering if you wanted to grab
some alimentation [food]...
687
00:36:01,737 --> 00:36:04,017
for you hyperphagia [hunger].
I'm hungry.
688
00:36:04,072 --> 00:36:06,117
Well I just got pretty hungry myself.
689
00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:08,203
Sure, let's go for it.
690
00:36:08,437 --> 00:36:10,895
I can't believe you can't find any other
pre-masturbators to hang out with.
691
00:36:10,949 --> 00:36:12,249
The place is crawling with them.
692
00:36:12,303 --> 00:36:14,937
You know, you can actually study for
this spelling bee anywhere.
693
00:36:15,117 --> 00:36:17,409
Thank you. Is that right?
694
00:36:18,469 --> 00:36:21,289
Try spelling "Rigatoni" without looking.
695
00:36:21,421 --> 00:36:24,249
I don't want to. I don't need to study.
You need to study.
696
00:36:24,584 --> 00:36:26,882
Because I'm gonna slaughter you like
the sacred cow.
697
00:36:27,297 --> 00:36:28,922
Not everything is about winning.
698
00:36:29,007 --> 00:36:30,992
Closure's pretty nice too.
699
00:36:31,997 --> 00:36:34,060
To me it's about fun.
700
00:36:34,508 --> 00:36:37,010
Well, you probably deserve a little
bit better than that.
701
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:38,580
Excuse me, uh...
702
00:36:38,605 --> 00:36:41,180
I'm the mother of one of the
competitors competing here.
703
00:36:41,507 --> 00:36:42,407
Okay.
704
00:36:42,429 --> 00:36:45,867
What you're doing is an insult to
every honest child...
705
00:36:45,910 --> 00:36:48,344
that's worked so hard to be here.
706
00:36:49,124 --> 00:36:50,624
Including my son.
707
00:36:51,781 --> 00:36:54,796
I've worked very hard to get here too
madam and I'm well within the rules.
708
00:36:55,663 --> 00:36:57,891
You're an asshole. That's all.
709
00:36:58,547 --> 00:37:00,242
- That's a child.
- It is.
710
00:37:00,533 --> 00:37:02,682
And I'm sure he's heard even worse
from you.
711
00:37:02,781 --> 00:37:04,281
I don't speak like that in
front of him.
712
00:37:05,060 --> 00:37:06,873
- Oh is that right.
- Yes that's right!
713
00:37:07,486 --> 00:37:09,446
So why don't you take your potty mouth...
714
00:37:09,626 --> 00:37:12,438
go locate your pre-teen cocksucker son...
715
00:37:12,484 --> 00:37:13,984
and stuff him back up that old...
716
00:37:13,990 --> 00:37:15,921
blown out sweat sock of a vagina
and scoot off to...
717
00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:18,809
whatever shit kicking town you came
from. Can you do that for me?
718
00:37:20,985 --> 00:37:22,923
Like an elephants trunk I'll bet.
719
00:37:24,914 --> 00:37:27,232
Gray and distended.
720
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:29,880
- Good night.
- Good day.
721
00:37:29,892 --> 00:37:31,392
Thank you.
722
00:37:33,469 --> 00:37:34,869
Mothers!
723
00:37:34,967 --> 00:37:37,628
Let's get out of this restaurant. It's
a little depressing don't you think?
724
00:37:37,894 --> 00:37:40,087
My dad doesn't ever allow me to
leave the hotel.
725
00:37:40,130 --> 00:37:42,902
Well daddies not here and he sounds
like he could be an asshole so...
726
00:37:42,964 --> 00:37:45,742
so let's not listen to him. Let's go
find you some real fun.
727
00:37:46,242 --> 00:37:47,742
Side door.
728
00:39:56,106 --> 00:39:59,077
[Jeremy] Glad I was in town to
catch your call.
729
00:39:59,132 --> 00:40:02,113
You look really, really good.
730
00:40:02,156 --> 00:40:05,409
I appreciate that. I've been staying
away from sugar.
731
00:40:05,452 --> 00:40:07,067
- Cold turkey.
- Wow.
732
00:40:07,674 --> 00:40:09,695
Do you feel as good as you look?
733
00:40:10,462 --> 00:40:11,762
Are you happy?
734
00:40:11,794 --> 00:40:13,792
How's federal agent life treating you?
735
00:40:13,835 --> 00:40:16,531
You know it's not as fun as
it used to be. Yeah.
736
00:40:16,578 --> 00:40:20,313
I kind of miss you dinging
around where you shouldn't be.
737
00:40:22,125 --> 00:40:25,234
- Yes. Yeah.
- There you go.
738
00:40:25,848 --> 00:40:28,609
That's one background check on
one Guy Trilby.
739
00:40:32,296 --> 00:40:34,265
Is this for a story or something?
740
00:40:37,199 --> 00:40:38,699
Something good?
741
00:40:42,414 --> 00:40:44,145
Did you do this background yourself?
742
00:40:44,266 --> 00:40:46,877
Of course I did. What kind of guy
repays a favor by delegating.
743
00:40:46,940 --> 00:40:48,440
I did it.
744
00:40:49,750 --> 00:40:54,111
- This is incredible. Thank you, so much.
- Yeah.
745
00:40:54,908 --> 00:40:57,148
So, is that it?
746
00:40:57,733 --> 00:41:00,736
Oh yeah, this is... huge.
747
00:41:00,779 --> 00:41:03,876
That's a relief. This has been hanging
over my head for years and...
748
00:41:03,919 --> 00:41:06,055
I'm the kind of guy, I like to keep
a debt free lifestyle.
749
00:41:06,141 --> 00:41:08,281
- Oh well consider yourself...
- Yeah.
750
00:41:08,344 --> 00:41:09,152
free and clear.
751
00:41:09,223 --> 00:41:11,391
I just expected to have to do so
much more you know?
752
00:41:11,492 --> 00:41:13,308
It seems like it's not enough...
753
00:41:13,362 --> 00:41:13,875
No!
754
00:41:13,922 --> 00:41:15,905
Cause I mean, you saved my ass
you know.
755
00:41:16,053 --> 00:41:17,253
- My career.
- Wow.
756
00:41:17,258 --> 00:41:19,069
- I feel I'm getting off easy.
- No!
757
00:41:19,116 --> 00:41:22,114
You know. You did me a solid.
758
00:41:22,401 --> 00:41:25,230
No we uh, we're square.
759
00:41:25,309 --> 00:41:27,899
- You don't want anything more in return?
- Uh uh.
760
00:41:28,597 --> 00:41:30,188
You don't want anything...
761
00:41:33,346 --> 00:41:34,938
solid...
762
00:41:38,448 --> 00:41:39,948
in return.
763
00:41:44,750 --> 00:41:46,250
No.
764
00:41:48,328 --> 00:41:50,907
Are you familiar with the phrase
"eatin and cheatin"
765
00:41:50,977 --> 00:41:53,455
- Thanks so much.
- It's a popular phrase.
766
00:41:55,451 --> 00:41:57,469
[Guy] Aren't these guys incredible.
767
00:41:58,169 --> 00:41:59,669
Was I right about the cherry?
768
00:41:59,768 --> 00:42:01,268
Yeah but...
769
00:42:01,468 --> 00:42:03,583
Well you might want to slow down a
little bit Swami...
770
00:42:03,859 --> 00:42:06,422
Looks like you got into the wrong
dudes ass, here.
771
00:42:06,465 --> 00:42:08,691
Hah! Funny!
772
00:42:10,772 --> 00:42:13,281
You look like you're a person who
pooped your underwear...
773
00:42:13,328 --> 00:42:15,180
then you used it for a bank
robber's mask.
774
00:42:15,227 --> 00:42:17,131
and you ??
775
00:42:17,195 --> 00:42:19,757
and forgot to wash your face.
776
00:42:20,228 --> 00:42:22,524
You shouldn't insult people. You're
no good at it.
777
00:42:24,283 --> 00:42:26,495
This soda pop is so delicious.
778
00:42:26,550 --> 00:42:28,965
I'd just say "soda" otherwise you're
gonna get raped.
779
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:32,531
I like having you as a friend.
780
00:42:36,739 --> 00:42:38,973
Although, I'm not your friend.
781
00:42:39,028 --> 00:42:40,941
You got friends. I'm like four times
your age.
782
00:42:41,043 --> 00:42:42,805
I really don't have any friends.
783
00:42:43,036 --> 00:42:45,430
I thought being good in spelling
would get me friends....
784
00:42:45,473 --> 00:42:47,561
but kids just make fun of me more.
785
00:42:48,851 --> 00:42:51,053
Well who needs them. You've got
Todd, right?
786
00:42:51,484 --> 00:42:53,140
And you too maybe, huh?
787
00:42:54,058 --> 00:42:56,289
No. Buddy I work alone.
788
00:42:57,010 --> 00:43:01,341
Always have. My mom always kept me
running around with her, avoiding rent.
789
00:43:01,527 --> 00:43:04,711
I never gathered a bunch of friends.
790
00:43:06,599 --> 00:43:08,978
And it's fine, it's good. You'll
be alright.
791
00:43:20,856 --> 00:43:21,901
What's that?
792
00:43:21,945 --> 00:43:24,097
I borrowed it when you borrowed
the lobster.
793
00:43:25,502 --> 00:43:27,002
Really.
794
00:43:27,180 --> 00:43:29,003
Let me see it.
795
00:43:31,048 --> 00:43:33,828
Your fingers get a little sticky
when you get all boozed up.
796
00:43:36,413 --> 00:43:39,312
Toys are fun to have when you can't
play with other kids.
797
00:43:39,361 --> 00:43:40,970
That's true.
798
00:43:41,165 --> 00:43:43,992
What was your favorite toy when
you were a kid?
799
00:43:45,664 --> 00:43:48,773
Well I did love a little toy car once.
800
00:43:48,828 --> 00:43:51,817
Kind of like this. It was a shitty little
black and white police car.
801
00:43:51,860 --> 00:43:53,461
Never left my pocket.
802
00:43:54,895 --> 00:43:58,852
I lost it one night I think. I must
have dropped it or something.
803
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:01,140
I never saw it again.
804
00:44:03,055 --> 00:44:07,555
Had a little Kojak light right on top.
805
00:44:07,716 --> 00:44:09,688
Right there. A little single bubble.
806
00:44:11,422 --> 00:44:13,189
Chasing down bad guys.
807
00:44:22,492 --> 00:44:23,892
Alright so you're a little thief...
808
00:44:23,974 --> 00:44:25,789
and you don't have any friends.
809
00:44:26,532 --> 00:44:29,472
Kind of like a real loser. Bet
you crack ass though right?
810
00:44:29,519 --> 00:44:31,019
You make up for it with the women?
811
00:44:31,882 --> 00:44:33,382
No.
812
00:44:33,407 --> 00:44:36,055
No girlfriend for you? You can't find
one little...
813
00:44:36,688 --> 00:44:40,708
chicken Tika that gets your shrimp
can going all up in?
814
00:44:40,976 --> 00:44:41,999
Nope.
815
00:44:42,042 --> 00:44:45,401
But when I do get one, it's going to
be a girl with nipples.
816
00:44:45,699 --> 00:44:48,531
Is that right, well lucky for you
they all have nipples, pal.
817
00:44:48,602 --> 00:44:50,460
Every girl does not have nipples.
818
00:44:50,585 --> 00:44:52,296
- They do.
- No they don't.
819
00:44:52,428 --> 00:44:54,951
- Buddy I promise you they do.
- No they don't.
820
00:44:55,148 --> 00:44:57,916
Alright. I don't know how I missed that.
821
00:44:58,396 --> 00:44:59,896
You look at their shirts.
822
00:45:00,115 --> 00:45:02,425
On some you can see the
little nipples.
823
00:45:02,484 --> 00:45:05,322
Poking through their shirts.
On others, nothing.
824
00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:08,953
Oh I see. I got it.
825
00:45:09,299 --> 00:45:11,422
Buddy you're in bad shape.
826
00:45:11,860 --> 00:45:14,672
You know what. I'm gonna do
you a favor. C'mon.
827
00:45:15,668 --> 00:45:17,344
Let's go. You done here?
828
00:45:17,477 --> 00:45:20,203
- Where we going?
- Just c'mon. Let's go.
829
00:45:20,246 --> 00:45:23,344
My dad had been around it's something
I wish he'd have done with me.
830
00:45:25,270 --> 00:45:26,891
I hope it's not a workout.
831
00:45:27,435 --> 00:45:30,176
- I hope it's a sundae.
- Yeah, it's not.
832
00:45:30,242 --> 00:45:32,658
A desert would follow that chili dog
really well.
833
00:45:32,710 --> 00:45:34,210
No ice-cream pal.
834
00:45:41,086 --> 00:45:42,602
[Guy] Hey!
835
00:45:44,625 --> 00:45:48,125
Slum-dog I want you to meet Marzipan.
Marzipan, slum-dog.
836
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:49,139
Hi.
837
00:45:49,201 --> 00:45:50,548
You said he was sixteen.
838
00:45:50,591 --> 00:45:53,641
Yeah he is 16. He's got a hydro-thyroid
retention problem.
839
00:45:53,705 --> 00:45:55,205
Remember Gary Coleman?
840
00:45:56,010 --> 00:45:58,064
God rest his sweet, funny soul.
841
00:45:58,107 --> 00:45:59,518
Amen, okay, let's do this.
842
00:45:59,561 --> 00:46:02,226
Chaiwalla, all I can say is
your welcome.
843
00:46:02,492 --> 00:46:03,892
For what?
844
00:46:03,938 --> 00:46:05,438
Hit it!
845
00:46:10,781 --> 00:46:20,683
3,4,5,6,7,8...
846
00:46:21,945 --> 00:46:23,792
- 9...
- Play it.
847
00:46:25,373 --> 00:46:26,873
10.
848
00:46:27,225 --> 00:46:30,505
Nice? Huh?
849
00:46:33,633 --> 00:46:35,219
Good right?
850
00:46:36,031 --> 00:46:37,633
- No tip.
- No tip.
851
00:46:38,158 --> 00:46:39,258
Asshole!
852
00:46:39,318 --> 00:46:41,903
Well don't ask me for my
last 10, Marzipan...
853
00:46:41,973 --> 00:46:44,070
and then expect me to tip you. There's
your tip.
854
00:46:44,118 --> 00:46:46,790
Bye sweetie. Good luck with your
glands and shit.
855
00:46:46,846 --> 00:46:48,831
Thank you. Wasn't that good?!
856
00:46:49,598 --> 00:46:50,498
I liked her.
857
00:46:50,518 --> 00:46:52,630
I still have a couple of bucks. Do you
wanna get the ice-cream now?
858
00:46:52,673 --> 00:46:54,392
Fuck the ice-cream. I want to
touch them.
859
00:46:56,987 --> 00:46:58,875
I don't know.
860
00:46:58,914 --> 00:47:02,414
Which way did she go. She turn right?
Let's go ask her.
861
00:47:03,033 --> 00:47:04,562
Marzipan!
862
00:47:06,195 --> 00:47:07,727
[Guy] Well that might be true but...
863
00:47:07,773 --> 00:47:09,855
I still think a person your age
should be carrying...
864
00:47:09,904 --> 00:47:11,995
at least a dollar in his pocket and
if you had...
865
00:47:12,038 --> 00:47:13,038
that would have been the difference.
866
00:47:13,133 --> 00:47:14,433
You would have gotten yourself
a little bit of skin.
867
00:47:14,515 --> 00:47:16,499
But it was still the best time
of my life.
868
00:47:17,219 --> 00:47:18,930
Are we friends now?
869
00:47:23,375 --> 00:47:24,875
Cool!
870
00:47:37,874 --> 00:47:40,412
I'd like it if you could block out a
little bit of private time for me...
871
00:47:40,546 --> 00:47:42,046
after today's round.
872
00:47:42,195 --> 00:47:43,860
If you don't mind.
873
00:47:46,617 --> 00:47:48,986
You saying you want to come over and
fuck off again?
874
00:47:50,961 --> 00:47:52,061
No that's not what...
875
00:47:52,094 --> 00:47:54,251
Wanna look for your underwear?
876
00:47:54,500 --> 00:47:55,290
Just give me 10 minutes.
877
00:47:55,333 --> 00:47:56,433
Guy.
878
00:47:56,437 --> 00:47:59,450
I wanted to give you something
before the round starts.
879
00:48:01,015 --> 00:48:04,515
A little white-out and a Lego piece
and you got your car back.
880
00:48:05,573 --> 00:48:07,175
Thanks buddy.
881
00:48:07,226 --> 00:48:09,727
But I'm still gonna totally
bust your nut.
882
00:48:10,758 --> 00:48:12,868
Ow. I don't think you need to say that.
883
00:48:12,936 --> 00:48:14,170
- I do.
- No, no.
884
00:48:14,234 --> 00:48:16,066
- Say you're gonna kick my ass.
- Okay.
885
00:48:16,195 --> 00:48:17,295
- That!
- Alright.
886
00:48:17,352 --> 00:48:19,024
- See you there.
- See you there.
887
00:48:21,723 --> 00:48:22,823
You're a ??.
888
00:48:22,828 --> 00:48:24,445
I don't know. Kids are weird.
889
00:48:46,539 --> 00:48:50,039
Stand by in 5,4,3,2...
890
00:48:50,867 --> 00:48:55,249
[Pete]Welcome America to round 2 of the
Golden Quill national spelling bee.
891
00:48:55,311 --> 00:48:58,206
It is a point where, sadly, many
have already gone home.
892
00:48:58,554 --> 00:49:01,991
But the fighting spirit remains for
those who have survived.
893
00:49:02,038 --> 00:49:05,356
And that number is 30. Thirty brave
determined... [fades out]
894
00:49:07,378 --> 00:49:08,878
Here are this rounds words.
895
00:49:08,992 --> 00:49:12,964
Let's remember this competition is
in English, not marble mouth!
896
00:49:19,039 --> 00:49:20,682
[Proctor] Rhapsodize.
897
00:49:22,304 --> 00:49:23,870
Rhapsodize.
898
00:49:25,734 --> 00:49:27,234
Rhapsodize.
899
00:49:30,538 --> 00:49:32,094
Rhapsodize
900
00:49:34,710 --> 00:49:36,210
Rhapsodize.
901
00:49:37,982 --> 00:49:40,074
- [contest continues in background]
- Joyce.
902
00:49:40,523 --> 00:49:42,381
I'm wondering if that's your...
903
00:49:42,710 --> 00:49:45,052
It's like a hair-clip or something
over there.
904
00:49:45,113 --> 00:49:47,323
- Where?
- Underneath that seat. Can you see it?
905
00:49:47,603 --> 00:49:48,703
It's certainly not mine.
906
00:49:48,781 --> 00:49:51,007
I just don't want you to lose something
that might cost... there you go.
907
00:49:51,758 --> 00:49:53,258
Give it a look.
908
00:49:53,424 --> 00:49:56,196
[Guy narrating] My behavior was
ridiculous at best.
909
00:49:57,835 --> 00:50:00,686
I'm incredibly lucky I wasn't beaten
to death by the parents...
910
00:50:01,154 --> 00:50:03,103
- There's nothing down there.
- Okay.
911
00:50:03,429 --> 00:50:04,929
or their children.
912
00:50:05,383 --> 00:50:06,883
That's a big never mind now.
913
00:50:07,134 --> 00:50:10,734
Okay I want you to get ready to get
super happy.
914
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:12,892
We've got a celebration on our hands.
915
00:50:13,001 --> 00:50:14,617
What are you talking about?
916
00:50:15,045 --> 00:50:16,859
it seems that...
917
00:50:17,616 --> 00:50:18,916
your friend...
918
00:50:18,968 --> 00:50:20,625
has finally come to town.
919
00:50:20,797 --> 00:50:21,997
- My what?
- Yeah.
920
00:50:22,069 --> 00:50:23,776
Somebody's a woman today.
921
00:50:25,961 --> 00:50:27,731
I don't know what you're saying to me.
922
00:50:30,187 --> 00:50:32,095
When you got up...
923
00:50:32,243 --> 00:50:33,813
I saw...
924
00:50:34,647 --> 00:50:36,660
your adulthood.
925
00:50:37,305 --> 00:50:38,878
Adulthood?!
926
00:50:48,332 --> 00:50:52,570
Congratulations. You must be vibrating.
That's so exciting.
927
00:50:52,777 --> 00:50:55,958
But you can celebrate later. Right now
you've got a tournament to win...
928
00:50:56,046 --> 00:50:57,146
you've got words to spell..
929
00:50:57,156 --> 00:51:00,868
even though your situation might not
be very camera friendly.
930
00:51:01,016 --> 00:51:02,216
Screw them!
931
00:51:02,266 --> 00:51:04,656
You get up there and you take this
tournament. You take what's yours.
932
00:51:05,055 --> 00:51:08,281
You have a long walk to make up there
to excellence unfortunately...
933
00:51:08,414 --> 00:51:10,525
it is all the way up there...
934
00:51:10,601 --> 00:51:13,856
[Proctor] That is correct.
[Pete] Next up is Joyce Sacks.
935
00:51:13,984 --> 00:51:15,184
- [Proctor] She's from...
- [Joyce] ??
936
00:51:15,218 --> 00:51:17,320
I know, I know. God so many
people watching...
937
00:51:17,391 --> 00:51:19,306
and I don't have so much as a
sweatshirt to give you...
938
00:51:19,359 --> 00:51:21,976
but I don't so instead I want you
to just keep thinking...
939
00:51:22,022 --> 00:51:23,586
these are not light pants...
940
00:51:23,633 --> 00:51:26,398
these are not light pants. You just
keep saying that to yourself.
941
00:51:26,483 --> 00:51:28,670
Competitor 1124.
942
00:51:28,718 --> 00:51:30,841
That's you. These are not light pants.
943
00:51:31,934 --> 00:51:34,118
Competitor 1124.
944
00:51:35,644 --> 00:51:37,395
[Proctor] 1124.
945
00:51:37,504 --> 00:51:40,813
Clearly we have a case of stage fright
brewing in the back row.
946
00:51:40,867 --> 00:51:42,367
[Joyce's mother] Sweetheart?!
947
00:51:43,438 --> 00:51:45,546
- Sweetheart.
- Momma I can't.
948
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:47,891
Oh baby girl.
949
00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:49,785
- I can't do it.
- I don't blame you.
950
00:51:49,848 --> 00:51:50,773
Looks like a super heavy flow.
951
00:51:50,820 --> 00:51:55,629
Competitor 1124, you must make your
way to the microphone now...
952
00:51:55,972 --> 00:51:57,472
or be disqualified.
953
00:51:57,557 --> 00:51:59,718
Why don't you try and do like a
hop scoot with your chair...
954
00:51:59,761 --> 00:52:01,209
just grab both sides of it and you
just kind of....
955
00:52:01,256 --> 00:52:02,759
I can't do this.
956
00:52:02,802 --> 00:52:04,962
[Guy] She's gone. There she goes.
957
00:52:05,113 --> 00:52:06,613
She made it this far though.
958
00:52:06,617 --> 00:52:09,556
[Pete] Clearly the pressure was
just too much for her...
959
00:52:09,627 --> 00:52:10,627
I hope she ??
960
00:52:10,631 --> 00:52:15,169
Yes well the tournament does create a
natural selection does it not?
961
00:52:15,289 --> 00:52:19,114
Pruning of the weak. Allowing
the strong to blossom.
962
00:52:19,195 --> 00:52:20,605
[Guy] So tough, it's tough.
963
00:52:20,693 --> 00:52:22,193
Reach for the sky.
964
00:52:22,234 --> 00:52:23,734
She'll be good.
965
00:52:25,585 --> 00:52:27,230
Oh dear.
966
00:52:30,199 --> 00:52:31,875
Is that my word? That's two words.
967
00:52:32,843 --> 00:52:34,343
Um...
968
00:52:35,464 --> 00:52:37,464
Is that my word or are you guessing
at the "ums"?
969
00:52:38,321 --> 00:52:39,821
What's going on?
970
00:52:45,344 --> 00:52:50,266
Floccinaucinihilipilification.
971
00:52:52,346 --> 00:52:56,023
[Announcer] Good gracious, that word
is longer than most sentences.
972
00:52:56,553 --> 00:52:58,667
Can you repeat it one more
time, please.
973
00:52:58,852 --> 00:53:00,375
Floccinaucini...
974
00:53:00,438 --> 00:53:02,391
[Dr. Bowen] As a professor
of linguistics...
975
00:53:02,510 --> 00:53:04,576
I can tell you with the utmost
confidence...
976
00:53:04,633 --> 00:53:09,742
that a true orthographic enthusiast,
wouldn't flinch at such a challenge.
977
00:53:12,523 --> 00:53:14,087
F-L-O
978
00:53:14,273 --> 00:53:16,287
C-C
979
00:53:17,277 --> 00:53:20,258
I-N-A-U
980
00:53:21,864 --> 00:53:25,247
C-I-N-I
981
00:53:25,379 --> 00:53:28,102
H-I-L-I
982
00:53:28,757 --> 00:53:30,478
P-I
983
00:53:31,186 --> 00:53:35,850
L-I-F-I-C-A-T-I-O-N
984
00:53:39,164 --> 00:53:40,697
Correct!
985
00:53:50,155 --> 00:53:51,655
Nougat.
986
00:53:52,077 --> 00:53:56,013
N-O-U-G-A-T
987
00:53:56,130 --> 00:53:57,230
Incriminate.
988
00:53:57,267 --> 00:54:06,441
[Contest continues with some being
eliminated]
989
00:54:06,549 --> 00:54:09,037
[Proctor] Antidisestablishmentarianism
990
00:54:09,126 --> 00:54:22,446
A-N-T-I [continues spelling correctly]
991
00:54:22,513 --> 00:54:23,613
[Proctor] Correct.
992
00:54:23,632 --> 00:54:30,209
[Contest continues]
993
00:54:30,413 --> 00:54:31,813
Pertinacious.
994
00:54:31,839 --> 00:54:37,472
P-E-R-T-I-N-A-C-I-O-U-S
995
00:54:37,573 --> 00:54:38,773
Correct.
996
00:54:38,784 --> 00:54:42,206
[Contest continues]
997
00:54:42,463 --> 00:54:44,729
Immunoelectrophoresis.
998
00:54:45,393 --> 00:54:52,580
I-M-M-U-N-O-E-L-E-C-T-R-O-P-H-O-R-E-S-I-S
999
00:54:52,766 --> 00:54:54,403
That is correct.
1000
00:54:56,997 --> 00:55:00,276
[Bernice] Obviously I'm not going to
resign, that would leave the bee...[fades]
1001
00:55:00,393 --> 00:55:02,154
[Crowd noise of angry parents]
1002
00:55:02,234 --> 00:55:04,599
[Bernice] Please, I know what I said.
1003
00:55:04,687 --> 00:55:07,429
[Crowd and Bernice indistinguishable]
1004
00:55:07,523 --> 00:55:10,237
[Bernice] Yes I'm the most qualified
person in this position.
1005
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:11,422
[Proctor] Pardon me.
1006
00:55:11,477 --> 00:55:12,071
Yes!
1007
00:55:12,202 --> 00:55:15,780
We just completed the standard
competition review.
1008
00:55:16,021 --> 00:55:18,271
Guy Trilby didn't get those words
by accident.
1009
00:55:18,579 --> 00:55:19,779
It appears...
1010
00:55:19,811 --> 00:55:21,211
the randomized word list was...
1011
00:55:21,218 --> 00:55:23,566
purposefully manipulated by you.
1012
00:55:27,717 --> 00:55:29,672
You tampered with this.
1013
00:55:30,195 --> 00:55:33,999
And I in good conscience cannot allow
such an abuse of your position...
1014
00:55:34,132 --> 00:55:35,647
to go unnoticed.
1015
00:55:38,625 --> 00:55:40,465
And it didn't even stop him.
1016
00:55:40,664 --> 00:55:43,739
True, but that's not really the point
now is it!
1017
00:55:44,265 --> 00:55:48,190
He may be unlikable but he's
a contestant all the same.
1018
00:55:48,807 --> 00:55:53,375
And all contestants deserve a
fair chance.
1019
00:55:56,547 --> 00:56:00,246
And it didn't even stop him.
God damn it!
1020
00:56:00,957 --> 00:56:02,785
You're done.
1021
00:56:03,465 --> 00:56:06,578
Did I enunciate that clearly enough?
1022
00:56:06,617 --> 00:56:21,412
[Angry parents arguing
indistinctly]
1023
00:56:23,139 --> 00:56:24,639
[Desk clerk] Mr. Trilby.
1024
00:56:25,172 --> 00:56:26,672
You have a message.
1025
00:56:28,633 --> 00:56:30,144
Thank you.
1026
00:56:38,491 --> 00:56:40,070
You have a duck pond, huh?
1027
00:56:46,835 --> 00:56:48,907
Did you want to see me, Dr. Bowman?
1028
00:56:49,187 --> 00:56:50,990
Yes I do Mr. Trilby.
1029
00:56:53,633 --> 00:56:55,133
You like ducks?
1030
00:56:56,937 --> 00:56:58,675
They're okay on a plate.
1031
00:57:00,453 --> 00:57:03,664
You know I uh, I got offered quite
a bit...
1032
00:57:03,711 --> 00:57:05,011
when I was younger.
1033
00:57:05,046 --> 00:57:09,560
I stirred life’s cocktail very
vigorously if you will.
1034
00:57:10,047 --> 00:57:12,538
I'd venture to say that more than once...
1035
00:57:12,976 --> 00:57:15,329
I found myself on the precipice of...
1036
00:57:15,633 --> 00:57:19,391
making a life altering mistake.
1037
00:57:21,601 --> 00:57:23,101
Each time...
1038
00:57:23,484 --> 00:57:26,065
with no parental guidance whatsoever...
1039
00:57:26,139 --> 00:57:27,984
I was able to carefully...
1040
00:57:29,911 --> 00:57:32,672
backup, turn around, walk away.
1041
00:57:34,555 --> 00:57:36,055
Here I am today...
1042
00:57:37,851 --> 00:57:40,056
I have peoples respect, I have
their admiration.
1043
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:44,106
I have control over one of the most
respected institutions in the country.
1044
00:57:44,514 --> 00:57:47,465
Had I not been able to identify
an approaching abyss...
1045
00:57:47,765 --> 00:57:50,531
I'd be in a very different
position today.
1046
00:57:52,281 --> 00:57:55,246
Mr Trilby. I don't know, I don't
even care...
1047
00:57:55,468 --> 00:57:58,602
why you've chosen to place yourself
on this edge.
1048
00:58:00,102 --> 00:58:02,094
But I can assure you...
1049
00:58:03,539 --> 00:58:05,862
take one step further...
1050
00:58:05,937 --> 00:58:07,898
your life will become even more
challenging...
1051
00:58:08,390 --> 00:58:10,852
than I'm sure it already is.
1052
00:58:15,773 --> 00:58:17,273
A nice threat.
1053
00:58:17,367 --> 00:58:18,867
Is that what that is?
1054
00:58:20,086 --> 00:58:21,846
It's a safe prediction.
1055
00:58:22,179 --> 00:58:23,909
Losers lose, Mr. Trilby.
1056
00:58:24,758 --> 00:58:26,783
And that's what I am huh?
1057
00:58:26,826 --> 00:58:28,712
Is that what I am, a loser?
1058
00:58:29,621 --> 00:58:31,680
Well I uh... if you...
1059
00:58:31,789 --> 00:58:34,338
quack like them and you
walk like them...
1060
00:58:34,930 --> 00:58:36,430
where would you be?
1061
00:58:38,453 --> 00:58:39,953
That's cute.
1062
00:58:45,668 --> 00:58:47,584
Well just so you know, I didn't
come here to lose.
1063
00:58:47,648 --> 00:58:49,148
And I'm not gonna.
1064
00:58:51,289 --> 00:58:54,044
In the game I'm playing I'm way
ahead right now.
1065
00:58:55,859 --> 00:58:58,330
Whether you know it or not, so...
1066
00:59:06,124 --> 00:59:07,624
Thanks for the checkup.
1067
00:59:17,625 --> 00:59:19,125
Good, Guy!
1068
00:59:19,133 --> 00:59:21,452
Do you have a minute, cause I have
that thing...
1069
00:59:21,495 --> 00:59:21,921
No.
1070
00:59:21,964 --> 00:59:24,161
- that I need to discuss with you.
- Sorry.
1071
00:59:25,382 --> 00:59:27,314
I'm kinda done with today. I'm just
gonna...
1072
00:59:27,683 --> 00:59:31,108
drop this gift off to the kid
then I'm gonna hit the sack.
1073
00:59:31,233 --> 00:59:32,641
Aw you bought him a present?
1074
00:59:32,711 --> 00:59:35,062
Has the grinch found his Cindy Lou Hoo.
1075
00:59:35,344 --> 00:59:36,352
That's from Dr. Seuss.
1076
00:59:36,406 --> 00:59:38,820
I get it. No, this is just uh...
1077
00:59:39,179 --> 00:59:40,928
a little bit of porn and some ice-cream.
1078
00:59:40,971 --> 00:59:42,371
Ah, Santa would be proud.
1079
00:59:42,408 --> 00:59:43,354
Can I get in please?
1080
00:59:43,397 --> 00:59:44,405
C'mon get a drink with me.
1081
00:59:44,460 --> 00:59:44,777
No.
1082
00:59:44,839 --> 00:59:46,515
- This is important.
- I'll bet it's not.
1083
00:59:48,616 --> 00:59:51,254
You know when somebody you're sleeping
with says they'd like to speak with you...
1084
00:59:51,325 --> 00:59:53,310
the least you could do is fake it.
1085
00:59:53,746 --> 00:59:56,886
Well, what, did I just wake up
ten years later...
1086
00:59:56,929 --> 00:59:58,429
are we married?
1087
00:59:58,461 --> 00:59:59,961
Please.
1088
01:00:07,469 --> 01:00:10,563
Don't flatter yourself. I had something
important to talk to you about.
1089
01:00:11,879 --> 01:00:14,109
- Prick!
- Sorry.
1090
01:00:17,379 --> 01:00:19,887
- Good night.
- Little fucking prick.
1091
01:00:28,031 --> 01:00:31,742
[Chaitanya's dad muffled talking]
1092
01:00:31,875 --> 01:00:33,430
[Chaitanya] Dad, it's not fair.
1093
01:00:33,492 --> 01:00:35,479
He took me around to see the sites
last night.
1094
01:00:35,565 --> 01:00:37,354
Something that you've never done
by the way.
1095
01:00:37,410 --> 01:00:39,801
Chaita, stay focused.
1096
01:00:40,179 --> 01:00:42,123
This man is your enemy.
1097
01:00:42,484 --> 01:00:44,694
Keep him close, but don't forget that.
1098
01:00:44,803 --> 01:00:48,260
Remember Donnie Brasco. Do
you want to win?
1099
01:00:49,569 --> 01:00:50,869
Do you?!
1100
01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:51,968
Yes.
1101
01:00:52,023 --> 01:00:53,699
Then keep him best friends...
1102
01:00:53,773 --> 01:00:56,020
so that he can't bear to beat you.
1103
01:00:56,882 --> 01:00:58,697
Dad I know the plan.
1104
01:01:00,742 --> 01:01:02,242
Hey!
1105
01:01:02,523 --> 01:01:04,023
Hey.
1106
01:01:05,335 --> 01:01:07,404
You're pretending to be my friend
just to try to win?!
1107
01:01:07,464 --> 01:01:08,764
What? No, no!
1108
01:01:08,835 --> 01:01:13,548
No, no? I just heard you and your dad
talking just outside the door there.
1109
01:01:14,117 --> 01:01:15,234
Let's all relax.
1110
01:01:15,277 --> 01:01:17,670
Eat shit buddy. I'll hit you in the
face, okay.
1111
01:01:17,749 --> 01:01:19,922
You little fuck. I can't believe I
was your goddamn mark.
1112
01:01:19,965 --> 01:01:21,169
It was my dad's idea, okay.
1113
01:01:21,212 --> 01:01:23,389
No way, it wasn't. You're a
little liar.
1114
01:01:23,445 --> 01:01:25,289
- He thought you were the biggest threat.
- Great.
1115
01:01:25,332 --> 01:01:26,832
- And you were.
- Yep.
1116
01:01:28,831 --> 01:01:30,606
Dad I really like him.
1117
01:01:30,711 --> 01:01:32,420
You make me sick, you know that.
1118
01:01:32,468 --> 01:01:35,780
I'm not doing the plan anymore. I'm
just being friends.
1119
01:01:35,851 --> 01:01:37,734
- Because we are now.
- No we're not.
1120
01:01:37,777 --> 01:01:39,177
I didn't know we would be.
1121
01:01:39,180 --> 01:01:40,827
Really? I thought winning
wasn't everything.
1122
01:01:40,902 --> 01:01:42,499
It isn't everything, not now.
1123
01:01:42,569 --> 01:01:44,532
Sure sounds like it. You're a liar.
1124
01:01:44,609 --> 01:01:47,320
Guy, you showed me my first boobs.
1125
01:01:49,742 --> 01:01:51,834
- What did he say?
- Another lie.
1126
01:01:51,999 --> 01:01:53,499
He's a lying machine.
1127
01:01:53,740 --> 01:01:55,656
Guy please!
1128
01:01:55,703 --> 01:01:56,532
Please what?
1129
01:01:56,575 --> 01:01:59,005
My dad will be so disappointed in
me if I lose.
1130
01:01:59,336 --> 01:02:00,836
I don't want that.
1131
01:02:00,929 --> 01:02:02,229
Well tough shit.
1132
01:02:02,266 --> 01:02:04,290
I guess you're just gonna have
to try and beat me now, huh.
1133
01:02:05,163 --> 01:02:06,663
And you can have this back.
1134
01:02:50,289 --> 01:02:51,189
Hello?
1135
01:02:51,223 --> 01:02:53,598
Hi Chaitanya this is Ingrid at the
front desk...
1136
01:02:53,641 --> 01:02:55,592
your father just called to say he's
driving by...
1137
01:02:55,635 --> 01:02:59,135
and if you can be in the lobby in one
minute, he'll take you for ice-cream.
1138
01:02:59,219 --> 01:03:00,719
Really?
1139
01:04:09,272 --> 01:04:10,772
GUY!!!
1140
01:04:13,914 --> 01:04:15,515
GUY!!!
1141
01:04:39,334 --> 01:04:40,534
[On phone]Los Angeles 911.
1142
01:04:40,603 --> 01:04:41,299
Hello?
1143
01:04:41,359 --> 01:04:43,775
- Is this an emergency?
- Yes this is an emergency.
1144
01:04:43,845 --> 01:04:45,616
What is the nature of your emergency?
1145
01:04:45,686 --> 01:04:48,195
Please send the police to the
Sportsmen's Lodge hotel right away.
1146
01:04:48,289 --> 01:04:49,389
What's the problem?
1147
01:04:49,398 --> 01:04:51,801
I just saw a man drag a teenager
into his room.
1148
01:04:51,844 --> 01:04:53,344
And she was screaming for help.
1149
01:04:53,460 --> 01:04:56,320
But as soon as the door shut, the
screaming suddenly stopped.
1150
01:04:57,484 --> 01:04:59,079
LAPD, open up!
1151
01:05:10,350 --> 01:05:12,779
What are you trying to do to me
you little bitch.
1152
01:05:12,822 --> 01:05:14,322
He's still got her in there.
1153
01:05:14,445 --> 01:05:15,945
Open up now!
1154
01:05:18,273 --> 01:05:19,797
Hold your tits.
1155
01:05:20,023 --> 01:05:21,640
I'm coming.
1156
01:05:21,952 --> 01:05:24,231
Shit, get in there now! Break the door.
1157
01:05:26,576 --> 01:05:28,076
[Guy] Ow!
1158
01:05:30,836 --> 01:05:32,336
Little bastard!
1159
01:05:32,351 --> 01:05:34,012
Well at least they didn't press charges.
1160
01:05:34,055 --> 01:05:37,106
I'll be pressing the fucking charges.
It almost broke my goddamn face.
1161
01:05:37,158 --> 01:05:38,576
Guy I've gotta talk to you about
something.
1162
01:05:38,619 --> 01:05:40,133
I don't care how much of an asshole
you are to me...
1163
01:05:40,176 --> 01:05:41,676
I'm getting it said right now.
1164
01:05:42,914 --> 01:05:45,478
I've been doing some digging... would
you stop walking for one second!
1165
01:05:45,764 --> 01:05:47,797
Jesus Christ I'm kind of all you have.
1166
01:05:48,206 --> 01:05:49,776
We can't walk and talk!
1167
01:05:51,953 --> 01:05:53,453
What's wrong?
1168
01:05:54,749 --> 01:05:56,859
I found out who your father is.
1169
01:05:58,249 --> 01:05:59,749
Oh, okay.
1170
01:06:02,648 --> 01:06:03,500
Good for you.
1171
01:06:03,546 --> 01:06:05,426
I guess you're not as bad a reporter
as I thought you were.
1172
01:06:05,475 --> 01:06:07,591
Took you a while though, don't
you think?
1173
01:06:08,078 --> 01:06:09,736
It was right there.
1174
01:06:16,712 --> 01:06:18,484
So that's what you're up to?
1175
01:06:19,531 --> 01:06:21,031
Yep.
1176
01:06:24,975 --> 01:06:28,008
Couple months ago the day my mom died
she finally told me who he was...
1177
01:06:28,301 --> 01:06:30,172
and where he was and..
1178
01:06:30,890 --> 01:06:32,390
and um...
1179
01:06:36,188 --> 01:06:38,766
Just pissed me off, obviously, so...
1180
01:06:39,857 --> 01:06:41,771
Here I am.
1181
01:06:46,789 --> 01:06:49,703
He was just a traveling encyclopedia
salesman and...
1182
01:06:49,742 --> 01:06:51,576
she was a waitress...
1183
01:06:51,678 --> 01:06:53,829
at a diner. And they...
1184
01:06:54,750 --> 01:06:58,172
She got pregnant and she told him and
he took off.
1185
01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:01,250
That's it he never returned?
1186
01:07:01,820 --> 01:07:03,320
Nope.
1187
01:07:03,414 --> 01:07:05,849
- He never called?
- Nothing.
1188
01:07:08,245 --> 01:07:09,891
So he has no idea who you are!?
1189
01:07:10,292 --> 01:07:13,438
He has no clue. But he will.
1190
01:07:15,680 --> 01:07:18,938
As soon as I'm done embarrassing him and
his precious spelling bee, Bill Bowman...
1191
01:07:19,356 --> 01:07:21,934
will never forget who I am.
1192
01:07:22,664 --> 01:07:25,049
And I think that is just the bare
minimum...
1193
01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:27,756
that a son can expect from his
father, don't you?
1194
01:07:35,601 --> 01:07:38,008
Well, good digging.
1195
01:07:39,163 --> 01:07:41,133
- Did you park up here?
- Uh huh.
1196
01:07:44,906 --> 01:07:47,256
[Pete] Dr. Bowman, I know that
Director Deagans resignation...
1197
01:07:47,327 --> 01:07:50,193
was as difficult for you as it was
for her. Your thoughts?
1198
01:07:50,603 --> 01:07:53,001
She served this tournament well
for many years.
1199
01:07:53,919 --> 01:07:56,716
It's a tragedy that the frayed
integrity of this year's tournament...
1200
01:07:56,946 --> 01:07:59,031
has touched her post as well.
1201
01:07:59,319 --> 01:08:02,477
I hope we can finish up now without
anymore casualties.
1202
01:08:02,819 --> 01:08:04,476
Profoundly stated.
1203
01:08:04,695 --> 01:08:07,445
Now, let's begin this, the final round.
1204
01:08:07,809 --> 01:08:09,867
Ten competitors remain...
1205
01:08:11,527 --> 01:08:14,422
First up. Eric Tai from
Sorwood Wisconsin.
1206
01:08:14,602 --> 01:08:16,883
I'm gonna bust your nut.
1207
01:08:17,180 --> 01:08:19,375
I'm gonna fucking end you.
1208
01:08:24,939 --> 01:08:26,439
Inchoate.
1209
01:08:26,992 --> 01:08:28,492
Inchoate.
1210
01:08:28,991 --> 01:08:30,930
Can I have the definition please.
1211
01:08:31,431 --> 01:08:33,963
Not yet completely or fully
developed. [Continues in background]
1212
01:08:34,127 --> 01:08:35,947
[Guy Narrating] The closer I got to
the end...
1213
01:08:35,994 --> 01:08:37,877
the more I thought about the goal.
1214
01:08:38,623 --> 01:08:40,859
and the more I thought about the win.
1215
01:08:40,904 --> 01:08:45,547
[Contestant] I-NC-H-O-A-T-E.
Inchoate.
1216
01:08:45,840 --> 01:08:47,340
That is correct.
1217
01:08:49,289 --> 01:08:53,157
[Pete]And once again Chaitanya Chopra
approaches the microphone.
1218
01:08:53,267 --> 01:08:57,227
He was here last year and hopes to bring it
all the way to the finish line this year.
1219
01:08:57,442 --> 01:08:59,445
Well he has company on that hope.
1220
01:08:59,867 --> 01:09:01,167
[Proctor] Tmesis.
1221
01:09:01,236 --> 01:09:02,736
Tmesis.
1222
01:09:03,296 --> 01:09:04,496
Definition?
1223
01:09:04,574 --> 01:09:08,815
In grammar and rhetoric, the separation
of the parts of a compound word...
1224
01:09:08,917 --> 01:09:11,031
now generally done for humorous effect...
1225
01:09:11,455 --> 01:09:14,445
for example "abso-bloody-lutely".
1226
01:09:16,071 --> 01:09:18,649
Is the origin from the
Greek "a cutting" ?
1227
01:09:19,082 --> 01:09:20,382
Yes.
1228
01:09:20,435 --> 01:09:21,935
Tmesis.
1229
01:09:23,079 --> 01:09:24,647
T-
1230
01:09:26,546 --> 01:09:30,333
M-E-S-I-S
Tmesis.
1231
01:09:30,404 --> 01:09:31,904
That is correct.
1232
01:09:38,567 --> 01:09:39,867
[Proctor] Quiet in the audience.
1233
01:09:39,897 --> 01:09:42,628
[Pete] Mr. Trilby has certainly received
his fair share of booing...
1234
01:09:42,671 --> 01:09:44,171
at this year's tournament.
1235
01:09:44,485 --> 01:09:48,578
- Yes another of this years firsts.
- [Proctor] Thank you. Continuing...
1236
01:09:52,991 --> 01:09:54,868
Slubberdegullion.
1237
01:09:55,454 --> 01:09:57,796
- Slubberdegullion?
- Slubberdegullion!
1238
01:09:59,008 --> 01:10:00,508
- [Eric's mother] Perfect!
- [Guy] S...
1239
01:10:00,521 --> 01:10:01,922
I know the definition of that.
1240
01:10:02,016 --> 01:10:03,594
A dirty, wretched slob.
1241
01:10:05,187 --> 01:10:06,687
Just like you sir.
1242
01:10:06,835 --> 01:10:08,906
- Was I supposed to hear that?
- Yes, you were.
1243
01:10:08,945 --> 01:10:11,367
- Cause that's what you are.
- [Proctor] Madam, please.
1244
01:10:11,414 --> 01:10:13,502
or I'm going to have to ask
you to leave.
1245
01:10:13,549 --> 01:10:15,336
You're gonna have to ask me to leave?!
1246
01:10:15,625 --> 01:10:17,994
I think you should ask him
to leave, huh?!
1247
01:10:18,072 --> 01:10:19,981
[Guy] Take it easy.
[Announcer] Gentlemen, please.
1248
01:10:20,045 --> 01:10:22,749
- You're telling me to take it easy?!
- Yeah, we're trying to have a spelling bee.
1249
01:10:22,805 --> 01:10:24,444
- Okay you're here come the cops.
- Ma’am, please.
1250
01:10:24,499 --> 01:10:28,423
No, no, no. He called my baby boy
a "cock sucker"...
1251
01:10:28,521 --> 01:10:31,548
and I will not repeat what he said to me
about my vagina.
1252
01:10:31,595 --> 01:10:33,025
Ma’am now say goodbye.
1253
01:10:33,068 --> 01:10:35,224
Nope, I'm not going. You'll have to
carry me out.
1254
01:10:35,287 --> 01:10:36,687
Nope I'm gonna just sit here.
1255
01:10:36,727 --> 01:10:40,628
I'm gonna stay here and you're gonna
have to work for it you cock suckers.
1256
01:10:40,690 --> 01:10:44,802
Because I have a beautiful, young,
fully elasticized vagina.
1257
01:10:44,850 --> 01:10:47,837
?? cock sucker
1258
01:10:47,931 --> 01:10:49,542
Don't take me, take him!
1259
01:10:49,585 --> 01:10:53,549
Well here's hoping that the guys on
the truck found the 7 second button.
1260
01:10:53,592 --> 01:10:59,035
- [Audience chanting] Take him out!
1261
01:10:59,078 --> 01:11:01,994
[Dr. Bowman] That's enough! That
is enough!
1262
01:11:04,250 --> 01:11:07,030
This is the Golden Quill spelling bee.
1263
01:11:08,765 --> 01:11:10,265
You're on television!
1264
01:11:10,554 --> 01:11:12,590
In millions of homes!
1265
01:11:14,664 --> 01:11:16,813
Show some respect for the tournament.
1266
01:11:21,859 --> 01:11:23,359
And for me!
1267
01:11:36,857 --> 01:11:39,719
I believe the word
was Slubberdegullion.
1268
01:11:39,852 --> 01:11:42,453
[Proctor] That's correct.
Slubberdegullion.
1269
01:11:45,412 --> 01:11:47,771
S-L-U-B-B-E-R
1270
01:11:47,929 --> 01:11:51,139
D-E-G-U-L-L-I-O-N
1271
01:11:52,015 --> 01:11:53,515
That is correct.
1272
01:12:02,491 --> 01:12:05,218
[Guy Narrating] With the humiliation
part taken care of...
1273
01:12:05,261 --> 01:12:07,968
and the favorite child all but killed...
1274
01:12:08,621 --> 01:12:10,961
Maybe I already had my win.
1275
01:12:11,264 --> 01:12:12,819
[Pete]...Eric Tai.
1276
01:12:19,077 --> 01:12:21,812
- [Proctor] Kophobia.
- Kophobia.
1277
01:12:22,616 --> 01:12:24,258
Can I have the definition, please.
1278
01:12:24,555 --> 01:12:26,071
Fear of exhaustion...
1279
01:12:26,226 --> 01:12:28,925
otherwise known as
"Lexicographer's Curse".
1280
01:12:30,461 --> 01:12:33,550
Is it derived from the Greek "kopo "
meaning fatigue?
1281
01:12:33,698 --> 01:12:35,339
[Proctor] Yes.
1282
01:12:36,825 --> 01:12:40,859
K-O-P-O-P-O-B-I-A
1283
01:12:41,430 --> 01:12:42,930
[Eric] No!
1284
01:12:44,131 --> 01:12:47,023
Oh my. Eric knew that he left
out the "H".
1285
01:12:47,124 --> 01:12:50,281
It's been a long day and clearly it's
taken it's toll on Eric.
1286
01:12:51,236 --> 01:12:54,673
Well, well. I think you're
gonna like this!
1287
01:12:55,407 --> 01:12:59,186
We're on the verge of history here
with 40 year old Guy Trilby...
1288
01:12:59,257 --> 01:13:00,811
in the final two.
1289
01:13:02,163 --> 01:13:03,783
[Proctor] Parisology.
1290
01:13:04,811 --> 01:13:06,599
Parisology.
1291
01:13:13,664 --> 01:13:16,789
P-A-R-I
1292
01:13:16,828 --> 01:13:20,328
S-O-L-O
1293
01:13:21,422 --> 01:13:23,180
G
1294
01:13:27,788 --> 01:13:29,288
I-E
1295
01:13:33,172 --> 01:13:36,012
[Pete] Goodness me. What a
dramatic turn of events here.
1296
01:13:36,086 --> 01:13:38,215
[Dr. Bowman] Yes. Yes indeed!
1297
01:13:40,430 --> 01:13:42,624
Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Quiet!
1298
01:13:42,703 --> 01:13:46,299
The rules dictate, thank you,
quiet please...
1299
01:13:46,463 --> 01:13:49,831
The rules dictate that because he's
one of the final two...
1300
01:13:49,878 --> 01:13:54,838
he remains on stage until his opponent
correctly spells the next word.
1301
01:13:57,070 --> 01:14:00,313
I'm finished here. You take it, it's
all yours.
1302
01:14:00,375 --> 01:14:02,582
[Proctor] Contestant 157.
1303
01:14:12,337 --> 01:14:19,594
Mr. Chopra, you are one word away from
being the new Golden Quill champion.
1304
01:14:21,609 --> 01:14:23,914
Infinitesimally.
1305
01:14:24,773 --> 01:14:26,713
Infinitesimally.
1306
01:14:27,304 --> 01:14:28,993
Can I have the definition?
1307
01:14:29,204 --> 01:14:32,610
Yes. Exceedingly small.
1308
01:14:33,444 --> 01:14:35,158
Infinitesimally.
1309
01:14:35,914 --> 01:14:43,133
I-N-F-I-N-I-T-E-S-I-M-A-L...
1310
01:14:51,603 --> 01:14:53,103
Y
1311
01:14:54,195 --> 01:14:56,789
Oh no. Hey!
1312
01:14:56,906 --> 01:14:59,341
- [Pete] Oh my.
- I can't believe it.
1313
01:14:59,726 --> 01:15:00,846
[Dr. Bowman] Not again.
1314
01:15:00,963 --> 01:15:02,416
- [Dr. Bowman] I don't believe it.
1315
01:15:04,747 --> 01:15:06,406
What are you doing?
1316
01:15:06,477 --> 01:15:08,000
If you think everything I said was
a lie...
1317
01:15:08,047 --> 01:15:09,351
then I'll prove that it wasn't.
1318
01:15:09,394 --> 01:15:11,024
- It's not about winning here...
- No, no, no, no.
1319
01:15:11,080 --> 01:15:12,798
- I don't give a shit about that.
- It's about my friend.
1320
01:15:12,841 --> 01:15:15,003
And I don't care about that either,
with all due respect...
1321
01:15:15,046 --> 01:15:16,246
very nice of you, very sweet...
1322
01:15:16,288 --> 01:15:18,423
but I'm not here for that and I'm not
here for the fucking trophy or a check.
1323
01:15:18,466 --> 01:15:19,891
- or these idiots, c'mon.
- I hurt your feelings...
1324
01:15:19,934 --> 01:15:22,637
- And I wasn't a good friend, I'm sorry.
- You know what, pal we're good.
1325
01:15:24,985 --> 01:15:26,930
Okay, next.
1326
01:15:27,944 --> 01:15:29,508
Rugose.
1327
01:15:30,336 --> 01:15:31,736
R-U-G-O-S
1328
01:15:31,789 --> 01:15:34,269
Ding it. I'm finished! Let's go.
1329
01:15:34,312 --> 01:15:36,315
You're wasting my fucking time, c'mon.
1330
01:15:38,544 --> 01:15:40,169
[Proctor] Pejorative.
1331
01:15:40,617 --> 01:15:45,818
P-E-J-O-R-A-T-E-V-E
Pejorative.
1332
01:15:46,578 --> 01:15:49,481
[Pete] Seems as though they're
misspelling the words on purpose.
1333
01:15:49,531 --> 01:15:50,831
Can you just spell the fucking words!
1334
01:15:50,861 --> 01:15:52,559
That's all you gotta do and you
got the tournament.
1335
01:15:52,602 --> 01:15:53,702
Same with you.
1336
01:15:53,708 --> 01:15:55,688
Chailanta get your shit together
you dumb dick!
1337
01:15:56,590 --> 01:15:58,887
Fuck you, Guy!
1338
01:16:00,045 --> 01:16:01,858
Nice, great.
1339
01:16:03,216 --> 01:16:04,863
Dad you got a real prince here.
1340
01:16:04,914 --> 01:16:08,750
Yeah he's a liar and he's swearing.
That's a good combo. Sweet.
1341
01:16:09,477 --> 01:16:10,577
One more word please.
1342
01:16:10,610 --> 01:16:14,466
I did...not...lie! Got it?!
1343
01:16:14,638 --> 01:16:17,678
I say that you did, got it!
1344
01:16:23,904 --> 01:16:27,383
[Pete] Okay. This has
turned ugly.
1345
01:16:28,976 --> 01:16:30,737
You can add "violent" to the list.
1346
01:16:30,796 --> 01:16:32,843
Your boy Gandhi would be real proud.
1347
01:16:34,101 --> 01:16:36,657
And by the way, I was born...
1348
01:16:36,751 --> 01:16:38,431
in Cleveland...
1349
01:16:38,491 --> 01:16:40,227
Ohio!
1350
01:16:52,699 --> 01:16:55,504
[TV Spot] ...your voice, we share
your mind.
1351
01:16:55,640 --> 01:16:59,867
We show you extraordinary programs,
with extraordinary...
1352
01:17:00,203 --> 01:17:01,227
[Judges conferring inaudibly]
1353
01:17:01,273 --> 01:17:02,876
[TV Spot] for 200 million...
1354
01:17:03,243 --> 01:17:05,020
[Pete] I really don't know what
to say, America.
1355
01:17:05,114 --> 01:17:06,804
Dr. Bowman is conferring with
the judges...
1356
01:17:07,729 --> 01:17:09,520
...addressing the audience.
1357
01:17:14,686 --> 01:17:16,263
[Dr. Bowman] Ladies and gentlemen...
1358
01:17:17,453 --> 01:17:19,461
boys and girls...
1359
01:17:19,805 --> 01:17:22,285
those of you at home, and
in attendance.
1360
01:17:22,328 --> 01:17:25,414
I would like to extend my
deepest apologies for...
1361
01:17:25,546 --> 01:17:29,617
what has devolved into
an embarrassment...
1362
01:17:29,766 --> 01:17:31,509
in this years competition.
1363
01:17:32,093 --> 01:17:34,624
The Golden Quill has always enjoyed a...
1364
01:17:34,726 --> 01:17:37,703
an immaculate reputation of respectful...
1365
01:17:37,797 --> 01:17:40,531
challenging and um, dignified behavior.
1366
01:17:41,562 --> 01:17:43,062
Until now...
1367
01:17:43,230 --> 01:17:46,668
Well hopefully the end is near.
Gentlemen!
1368
01:17:47,000 --> 01:17:50,764
Gentlemen, it has been decided that
neither of you will be disqualified...
1369
01:17:51,037 --> 01:17:52,748
because it appears...
1370
01:17:53,188 --> 01:17:54,850
it appears that both of you...
1371
01:17:54,975 --> 01:17:57,050
have conducted yourselves equally...
1372
01:17:57,210 --> 01:17:58,802
in a shameful manner.
1373
01:17:59,107 --> 01:18:02,180
So let's get on with this contest
and finish it.
1374
01:18:02,219 --> 01:18:05,195
I'm gonna ask the audience, please
remain silent.
1375
01:18:05,601 --> 01:18:07,101
Thank you.
1376
01:18:09,515 --> 01:18:12,119
- And continuing...
- Yep, my turn.
1377
01:18:13,999 --> 01:18:15,299
Unguent.
1378
01:18:15,327 --> 01:18:17,768
Unguent?
A-N-G-U-E-N-T
1379
01:18:17,874 --> 01:18:19,374
Ding it!
1380
01:18:20,195 --> 01:18:22,201
I can do this all night.
1381
01:18:22,607 --> 01:18:24,107
Go ahead.
1382
01:18:28,046 --> 01:18:32,148
Please. Very carefully consider
the word...
1383
01:18:33,101 --> 01:18:34,737
Callithump.
1384
01:18:36,910 --> 01:18:41,025
- C-A-L...
- Chaitan!
1385
01:18:41,766 --> 01:18:43,766
Please don't do this to us.
1386
01:18:56,820 --> 01:18:59,414
C-A-L
1387
01:19:00,108 --> 01:19:03,525
It's the easiest word of the night.
It's C-A-L-I-T-H-U-M-P
1388
01:19:03,568 --> 01:19:05,149
It's simple idiot.
1389
01:19:05,374 --> 01:19:07,905
No you're the idiot. You forgot an "L".
1390
01:19:07,984 --> 01:19:09,284
Alright. That's it!
1391
01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:12,406
That's all! You tried to help a fellow
competitor cheat.
1392
01:19:12,846 --> 01:19:14,512
That is against the rules.
1393
01:19:14,671 --> 01:19:16,645
Sir, you are disqualified!
1394
01:19:17,125 --> 01:19:18,225
Doesn't matter.
1395
01:19:18,281 --> 01:19:20,859
I misspelled it...
1396
01:19:21,358 --> 01:19:23,757
he corrected me.
1397
01:19:25,769 --> 01:19:27,529
[Proctor] Which means...
1398
01:19:27,572 --> 01:19:30,318
even though you tried to help
him cheat...
1399
01:19:30,568 --> 01:19:32,068
he wasn't cheating...
1400
01:19:32,368 --> 01:19:37,122
and ended up, technically spelling
the word correctly on his own.
1401
01:19:38,074 --> 01:19:41,370
So, he is the new champion!
1402
01:19:44,533 --> 01:19:45,990
- [Announcer] Correct.
- [Chaitanya] No, Guy!
1403
01:19:46,033 --> 01:19:47,588
Guy, you tricked me.
1404
01:19:48,059 --> 01:19:49,059
No, Guy!
1405
01:19:49,109 --> 01:19:50,734
Chaiwalla go hug your chai-papa.
1406
01:19:50,788 --> 01:19:52,343
No that's not fair!
1407
01:19:54,086 --> 01:19:56,451
[Dr. Bowman] Here's your trophy
Chaitanya, congratulations.
1408
01:19:56,551 --> 01:19:57,451
Guy!
1409
01:19:57,515 --> 01:20:00,680
And here's your check for fifty
thousand dollars.
1410
01:20:08,094 --> 01:20:09,422
- I guess that worked, huh.
- [Announcer] Chaitanya, you are our...
1411
01:20:09,484 --> 01:20:10,984
new champion, how does that feel?
1412
01:20:11,340 --> 01:20:13,220
[Chaitanya] I don't consider myself
a champion...
1413
01:20:13,263 --> 01:20:15,510
I consider myself a
co-champion with Guy.
1414
01:20:15,632 --> 01:20:17,132
Guy!
1415
01:20:19,472 --> 01:20:22,074
It was totally unfair to disqualify you.
1416
01:20:22,626 --> 01:20:25,767
This is yours too. You let me win.
1417
01:20:28,784 --> 01:20:31,089
And I wanna give you half.
1418
01:20:31,784 --> 01:20:34,258
Plus, we'll split things.
1419
01:20:37,601 --> 01:20:39,223
Right?
1420
01:21:13,313 --> 01:21:15,752
[Guy narrating] I don't know if I
should have done things differently.
1421
01:21:16,176 --> 01:21:19,664
Like I said, I'm not good at
a lot of things.
1422
01:21:22,601 --> 01:21:24,601
Maybe there should have been a
screaming match.
1423
01:21:27,531 --> 01:21:29,031
Or fight.
1424
01:21:30,000 --> 01:21:31,694
Maybe some tears.
1425
01:21:38,477 --> 01:21:40,789
But I guess I just wanna move on.
1426
01:21:43,172 --> 01:21:45,240
And let you do the same.
1427
01:21:53,445 --> 01:21:55,093
What's done is done.
1428
01:21:56,554 --> 01:21:58,193
I can't change what happened.
1429
01:22:01,460 --> 01:22:03,199
All I can do...
1430
01:22:04,694 --> 01:22:06,544
all I wanna do...
1431
01:22:12,382 --> 01:22:14,813
Is leave you with this apology.
1432
01:22:16,038 --> 01:22:17,699
This note.
1433
01:22:19,219 --> 01:22:22,507
Which started with me telling you my
feelings were hurt.
1434
01:22:27,055 --> 01:22:29,503
What the hell can you possibly write...
1435
01:22:29,632 --> 01:22:32,359
that I would be interested in reading!?
1436
01:22:35,632 --> 01:22:38,702
There was a bit in there about me
being your son.
1437
01:23:25,804 --> 01:23:28,453
[Guy narrating]And as much as I'd
like to hurt your feelings...
1438
01:23:29,421 --> 01:23:31,223
and call you names...
1439
01:23:31,772 --> 01:23:33,308
they're just words...
1440
01:23:33,730 --> 01:23:35,230
and it wouldn't change a thing.
1441
01:23:37,008 --> 01:23:38,779
That's not what this note was for.
1442
01:23:44,539 --> 01:23:47,382
Hopefully it has explained why
I did what I did.
1443
01:23:48,606 --> 01:23:51,130
And maybe even have you understand.
1444
01:23:52,640 --> 01:23:54,812
If not, that's fine.
1445
01:23:59,843 --> 01:24:01,679
Yours literally...
1446
01:24:01,898 --> 01:24:03,398
Guy Trilby.
1447
01:24:19,164 --> 01:24:21,402
- Hey spelling nerd.
- Yes?
1448
01:24:21,445 --> 01:24:24,315
- Can you spell "douche bag"?
- Of course.
1449
01:24:26,843 --> 01:24:30,497
- How do you spell "pick up your books"?
- That's a sentence!
1450
01:24:39,436 --> 01:24:41,063
Hey slum-dog.
1451
01:24:43,502 --> 01:24:44,313
Wow!
1452
01:24:44,356 --> 01:24:46,071
Right! Get over here!
1453
01:24:51,859 --> 01:24:53,259
Where'd you get this?
1454
01:24:53,263 --> 01:24:55,345
I got this old police car at an auction...
1455
01:24:55,430 --> 01:24:57,720
with my half of your winnings. So
thank you very much.
1456
01:24:57,763 --> 01:25:00,885
you got me two cars in one month.
You're a nice guy.
1457
01:25:01,015 --> 01:25:02,594
Now to pay you back...
1458
01:25:03,570 --> 01:25:05,438
how about we go chase some
bad guys.
1459
01:25:05,730 --> 01:25:07,230
Love too!
1460
01:25:13,286 --> 01:25:15,059
We're coming to get you!
1461
01:25:18,726 --> 01:25:20,415
[Chaitanya] Get the bad guys!
1462
01:25:22,867 --> 01:25:26,367
Subtitles by JoeShmoe.