1 00:00:04,031 --> 00:00:07,531 Subtitles by: JoeShmoe 2 00:00:48,313 --> 00:00:50,742 [Guy Narrating] I'm not that good at a lot of stuff. 3 00:00:53,001 --> 00:00:55,773 Especially thinking things through. 4 00:00:58,699 --> 00:01:01,035 And that's why this plan was so shitty. 5 00:01:05,555 --> 00:01:07,461 But my feelings were hurt... 6 00:01:07,508 --> 00:01:10,242 and I'm glad I at least did something about it. 7 00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:17,875 Making bad decisions is nothing new to me. 8 00:01:18,648 --> 00:01:21,881 After all I live alone, at 40... 9 00:01:21,990 --> 00:01:24,133 and I make my living proofreading... 10 00:01:24,507 --> 00:01:26,243 product warranties. 11 00:01:27,539 --> 00:01:29,272 A few weeks ago I took a break from that however... 12 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:31,188 so I could do this whole thing. 13 00:01:32,236 --> 00:01:33,867 And it's pretty ironic that what I did... 14 00:01:33,938 --> 00:01:36,060 was exactly what a child would do. 15 00:01:36,953 --> 00:01:40,003 I threw a tantrum just to get attention. 16 00:01:41,258 --> 00:01:42,758 [Parent at bee]Really proud. 17 00:01:43,402 --> 00:01:45,344 I mean I am... 18 00:01:46,171 --> 00:01:47,734 and excited. 19 00:01:48,828 --> 00:01:50,840 Meet the big man, right. 20 00:01:52,797 --> 00:01:53,897 But... 21 00:01:53,945 --> 00:01:56,225 you know, proud either way, of course. 22 00:01:58,750 --> 00:02:00,150 Aren't they amazing? 23 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:02,508 - Which ones yours? Mine's the... - No thank you! 24 00:02:02,727 --> 00:02:03,734 What's that? 25 00:02:03,781 --> 00:02:05,458 This chat, I'm all set. 26 00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:08,391 Just trying to get some food in my face before I get stuck on that stage, okay?! 27 00:02:09,938 --> 00:02:13,563 Oh, right, my bad. You must be our host for today. 28 00:02:13,617 --> 00:02:15,411 No, I'm not. 29 00:02:15,945 --> 00:02:17,445 I'm the winner! 30 00:02:17,769 --> 00:02:22,821 Everyone, it's time for the 15th annual regional spelling bee to begin. 31 00:02:22,867 --> 00:02:25,511 Take your seats please all of our noble contestants. 32 00:02:25,555 --> 00:02:29,055 Please take your seats up on the stage. 33 00:02:29,098 --> 00:02:30,668 Right on schedule. 34 00:02:37,342 --> 00:02:40,616 I love the way a hush comes over the crowd before we start. 35 00:02:48,547 --> 00:02:50,634 What are you doing up on the stage weirdo?! 36 00:02:53,785 --> 00:02:55,825 Your chair called me for help. 37 00:02:58,558 --> 00:03:00,058 Help me. 38 00:03:01,164 --> 00:03:02,664 He's too heavy. 39 00:03:04,061 --> 00:03:06,680 You didn't hear that? I heard it. 40 00:03:08,263 --> 00:03:10,021 I'm sorry sir. 41 00:03:10,550 --> 00:03:13,424 Those seats are for competitors only. 42 00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,949 Great! I'm in the right spot. 43 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,936 Mr. Trilby, I won't allow it. You're not eligible in any fashion... 44 00:03:22,979 --> 00:03:25,063 way, shape or manner. 45 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:28,830 Page 39 of the Golden Quill National Spelling Bee rule book. 46 00:03:28,873 --> 00:03:31,953 This is rule number 24, this is sub point B. 47 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,500 This is a quote... 48 00:03:33,729 --> 00:03:35,710 Speller must not have passed beyond the 8th grade... 49 00:03:35,753 --> 00:03:38,615 on or before February 1st, 2011. 50 00:03:38,693 --> 00:03:41,334 That is a rule written by the governing institute... 51 00:03:41,467 --> 00:03:43,929 and if you want you can continue to ogle my transcript... 52 00:03:44,022 --> 00:03:45,449 just please don't wrinkle it any further... 53 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,734 but you can see that unfortunately... 54 00:03:46,781 --> 00:03:51,044 I have not passed the 8th grade on or before Feb. 1st. Not ever. 55 00:03:51,091 --> 00:03:53,070 - That may be. - Sir I can go on... 56 00:03:53,221 --> 00:03:57,657 I can go on and on and on. There are 83 paragraphs, 581 lines of rules... 57 00:03:57,703 --> 00:04:00,813 in the rulebook. But let me assure you I'm compliant with every single one of them. 58 00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:03,404 The spelling bee, isn't it for kids... 59 00:04:03,447 --> 00:04:07,331 not adults that couldn't even graduate 8th grade! 60 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,455 Oh boy. Are we passed the rules and into the insults now... 61 00:04:10,498 --> 00:04:11,602 - is it insult time... - Well I'm sorry. 62 00:04:11,645 --> 00:04:15,218 because your pot-holder vest is about to take heavy fire. You ready for that? 63 00:04:15,261 --> 00:04:16,561 You know what, enough! 64 00:04:16,593 --> 00:04:18,511 This is all just a moot point. 65 00:04:18,683 --> 00:04:20,703 Every contestant must be sponsored by... 66 00:04:20,810 --> 00:04:23,718 a nationally recognized news service. 67 00:04:23,794 --> 00:04:24,516 The end! 68 00:04:24,559 --> 00:04:26,403 I understand, but that doesn't end the conversation... 69 00:04:26,446 --> 00:04:28,053 - Guess what. - [Jenny] Hello. 70 00:04:28,098 --> 00:04:29,298 - Hey. - Perfect timing. 71 00:04:29,321 --> 00:04:30,136 - What's going on here? - Well... 72 00:04:30,191 --> 00:04:31,691 - Who's this? - This is my sponsor. 73 00:04:31,695 --> 00:04:33,665 From a nationally recognized news service. 74 00:04:33,717 --> 00:04:35,365 Jenny Widgeon, the Click and Scroll. 75 00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:36,178 The What?! 76 00:04:36,297 --> 00:04:37,635 What's that? Is it something on the computer? 77 00:04:37,691 --> 00:04:38,991 Yes we're an online paper. 78 00:04:39,086 --> 00:04:41,351 Said differently, a nationally recognized news service. 79 00:04:41,394 --> 00:04:43,680 They don't want to let me participate. 80 00:04:43,781 --> 00:04:45,745 Go ahead, set it in motion. I love your vest. 81 00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:48,578 In about a half an hour, you're gonna be receiving... 82 00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:50,133 a temporary restraining order and... 83 00:04:50,214 --> 00:04:52,058 a preliminary injunction prohibiting... 84 00:04:52,112 --> 00:04:53,612 the continuation of this competition... 85 00:04:53,651 --> 00:04:55,151 until we clear this legal matter up! 86 00:04:55,289 --> 00:04:57,267 - Plus, and this is a selfish one for me... - Legal matter?! 87 00:04:57,326 --> 00:04:59,610 - It's gonna make one hell of a story. - How dare you try to hijack... 88 00:04:59,653 --> 00:05:00,753 this spelling bee contest! 89 00:05:00,769 --> 00:05:01,869 What did you call me?! 90 00:05:01,931 --> 00:05:04,077 - Hijack! - Hijack? I'm a hijacker now? 91 00:05:04,139 --> 00:05:05,454 You're on the hook for defamation too. 92 00:05:05,517 --> 00:05:07,241 My attorney's will be in touch with both of you... 93 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,864 Let's get out of here. But before we go actually... 94 00:05:08,911 --> 00:05:12,268 I'd like to watch the both of you address those poor wonderful children... 95 00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:14,844 and their very supportive parents, when you tell them... 96 00:05:14,891 --> 00:05:16,954 that they have no shot at the national bee... 97 00:05:16,997 --> 00:05:18,870 or an opportunity to meet the big man. 98 00:05:18,913 --> 00:05:20,235 That I want to see. They're going to be crestfallen. 99 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:21,939 I know of one father in particular who's gonna have to find... 100 00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,510 a whole new way to empty out his ball bag. 101 00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,818 Let's do it. Bullies and insulters first. You lead the way. 102 00:05:25,927 --> 00:05:26,841 Or should I go first? 103 00:05:26,906 --> 00:05:28,633 The idiot hijacker. Should I lead? 104 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,617 - You lead. - No one called you an idiot. 105 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,173 While you decide I'm gonna bang out a couple of prayers. 106 00:05:32,228 --> 00:05:33,228 Which way is Mecca? 107 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:34,566 Oleaginous. 108 00:05:34,594 --> 00:05:35,894 Oleaginous? 109 00:05:35,953 --> 00:05:37,253 Oleaginous! 110 00:05:37,266 --> 00:05:38,766 Oleaginous? 111 00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:40,363 Can I have the definition please? 112 00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:44,160 Having the nature or quality of oil... 113 00:05:44,286 --> 00:05:45,300 or... 114 00:05:45,343 --> 00:05:48,487 unctuous, prawning, smarmy. 115 00:05:51,086 --> 00:05:52,486 Oleaginous. 116 00:05:52,539 --> 00:05:54,039 Oleaginous. 117 00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,484 Does it come from the Latin Oleo meaning olive? 118 00:05:56,914 --> 00:05:58,414 It does. 119 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,242 Oleaginous. 120 00:06:00,289 --> 00:06:01,789 Can I have the part of speech? 121 00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:03,329 It's an adjective. 122 00:06:03,422 --> 00:06:04,922 Am I right? 123 00:06:06,227 --> 00:06:07,727 Yes. 124 00:06:07,766 --> 00:06:09,620 - Any other pronunciations? - No! 125 00:06:11,969 --> 00:06:13,369 Oleaginous. 126 00:06:13,430 --> 00:06:17,471 O-L-E-A-G-I-N-O-U-S. 127 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:19,625 - That is correct! - [Guy] You got it! 128 00:06:27,789 --> 00:06:29,289 Hi. 129 00:06:29,297 --> 00:06:31,461 Absquatulate. 130 00:06:33,102 --> 00:06:37,289 A-B-S-Q-U-A-T-U-L-A-T-E 131 00:06:38,479 --> 00:06:39,979 That's... 132 00:06:40,227 --> 00:06:41,727 Correct! 133 00:06:42,613 --> 00:06:44,164 - Correct. - Thank you. 134 00:06:44,211 --> 00:06:46,901 Hey moms, let's break out the rubber pillowcases tonight... 135 00:06:46,983 --> 00:06:49,771 little pricks are gonna be counting tears, not sheep. 136 00:06:51,125 --> 00:06:52,632 Who's next! 137 00:06:53,961 --> 00:06:57,461 BAD WORDS 138 00:08:17,085 --> 00:08:18,585 Not now, please. 139 00:08:18,852 --> 00:08:21,533 - Guy, I need some more. - No! 140 00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,868 - Why at the age of 40... - C'mon. 141 00:08:23,939 --> 00:08:26,828 have you decided to annoy educators, parents and children... 142 00:08:26,867 --> 00:08:29,143 by forcing your way into a kids spelling bee? 143 00:08:29,236 --> 00:08:30,436 Can't you see I'm trying to sleep?! 144 00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:32,578 Guy, I get at least one answer per tournament. 145 00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:35,236 I have 3, very paltry answers... 146 00:08:35,279 --> 00:08:36,402 it's time for my 4th. 147 00:08:36,445 --> 00:08:38,172 - [Guy] Shh. 148 00:08:39,656 --> 00:08:41,156 I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 149 00:08:41,335 --> 00:08:43,314 While I'm gone I want you to ask yourself this... 150 00:08:43,376 --> 00:08:47,547 will, when all of this is over, a 5 answer article... 151 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:50,234 be equal compensation for 8 weeks... 152 00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:52,291 of covered hotel room accommodations... 153 00:08:52,377 --> 00:08:54,073 qualifying tournament entry fees... 154 00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,401 rental car damage, not to mention emotional expense. 155 00:08:56,455 --> 00:08:59,250 - Are you not gonna get up?! - What? Go you got room. 156 00:08:59,293 --> 00:09:00,616 - Jesus...Christ! - If you'd given me the window... 157 00:09:00,659 --> 00:09:02,251 - I wouldn't have to move. - Yeah. 158 00:09:02,398 --> 00:09:04,852 - Don't drag that thing across me! - Excuse me. 159 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,109 It's full. You just told me it's full. I don't want it on me. 160 00:09:19,486 --> 00:09:21,322 Hi, I'm Chaitanya Chopra. 161 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:27,399 Was that English? 162 00:09:27,427 --> 00:09:29,066 My name is Chaitanya. 163 00:09:29,191 --> 00:09:30,491 Oh. 164 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:31,900 Congratulations. 165 00:09:31,943 --> 00:09:33,143 - What's yours? - No! 166 00:09:33,188 --> 00:09:34,898 - What's your name? - Spin it around! 167 00:09:35,121 --> 00:09:37,267 - I'm going to Quill. - Good for you. 168 00:09:37,383 --> 00:09:38,930 My dad's up in first class. 169 00:09:38,977 --> 00:09:41,250 - Great. - My dad says that economy class... 170 00:09:41,305 --> 00:09:42,852 - builds character. - Amazing. 171 00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:44,945 I was in last years tournament. 172 00:09:45,047 --> 00:09:47,090 I overheard you say you're going too. 173 00:09:47,449 --> 00:09:48,949 You're the one who's competing, huh? 174 00:09:49,775 --> 00:09:52,031 I read about you. What was the winning word? 175 00:09:52,539 --> 00:09:53,664 I don't know. 176 00:09:53,716 --> 00:09:55,813 What was the word you spelled to win your regional? 177 00:09:55,859 --> 00:09:58,336 - To get here. - I don't fucking remember! 178 00:09:58,453 --> 00:09:59,853 Do you see my eyes closed?! 179 00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:01,344 Mine was intelligentsia. 180 00:10:01,398 --> 00:10:03,362 - Awesome. - C'mon, try. 181 00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:06,000 How could you forget. It's such a special word. 182 00:10:16,445 --> 00:10:18,677 It was auto-fellatio. Okay? 183 00:10:20,209 --> 00:10:22,048 - I never heard of that word. - Yeah. 184 00:10:22,141 --> 00:10:23,695 What is the origin? 185 00:10:24,038 --> 00:10:25,538 Loneliness. 186 00:10:26,002 --> 00:10:27,916 Well, that can't be right! 187 00:10:27,963 --> 00:10:28,863 It is. 188 00:10:28,881 --> 00:10:32,096 I know "auto" is of Greek origin meaning self, right? 189 00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:37,141 Fellatio, fellatio, fellatio... 190 00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:41,643 Is that derived from the Latin "fellare" meaning to suck? 191 00:10:41,979 --> 00:10:43,479 Little man... 192 00:10:43,577 --> 00:10:44,877 the woman I'm sitting next to... 193 00:10:44,907 --> 00:10:46,440 knows her way around that subject real well... 194 00:10:46,483 --> 00:10:48,380 so why don't you ask her when she gets back from dropping her deuce... 195 00:10:48,456 --> 00:10:50,861 Meanwhile, if you don't point that curry hole... 196 00:10:50,924 --> 00:10:53,352 that way and sit your fucking ass down in that seat... 197 00:10:53,398 --> 00:10:55,555 I'm gonna tell the captain that your bags ticking. 198 00:10:55,602 --> 00:10:57,680 Think you'll have a situation. 199 00:10:58,039 --> 00:10:59,539 Goodnight. 200 00:11:23,734 --> 00:11:25,234 Have a seat. 201 00:11:27,992 --> 00:11:29,392 I'm Bernice Deagan... 202 00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:32,115 director of the Golden Quill national spelling bee. 203 00:11:33,189 --> 00:11:34,689 Struthious. 204 00:11:35,875 --> 00:11:36,635 What'd she say? 205 00:11:36,678 --> 00:11:39,674 S-T-R-U-T-H-I-O-U-S, struthious. 206 00:11:40,788 --> 00:11:42,438 That was my winning word. 207 00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:43,523 Oh. 208 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:45,830 1973, national champion. 209 00:11:46,752 --> 00:11:48,830 Just thought you should know that in case you didn't already. 210 00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,408 No I didn't. 211 00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:52,440 Guy... 212 00:11:52,484 --> 00:11:53,626 - I don't like you. 213 00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,169 - [Jenny] Look. - Quiet! 214 00:11:56,261 --> 00:11:58,047 You know when I was a little girl... 215 00:11:58,386 --> 00:12:00,305 I was always picked last in PE. 216 00:12:00,641 --> 00:12:02,041 I hated sports. 217 00:12:02,126 --> 00:12:03,526 That's what probably, thankfully... 218 00:12:03,531 --> 00:12:05,913 thrusted me into the welcoming bosom of the spelling bee.. 219 00:12:05,956 --> 00:12:08,867 of which I am the director and have been for over 20 years now. 220 00:12:09,086 --> 00:12:10,586 How did I accomplish that? 221 00:12:11,008 --> 00:12:13,509 Elbow grease, yes, hard work, maybe... 222 00:12:13,611 --> 00:12:15,609 integrity, oh you betcha. 223 00:12:15,925 --> 00:12:19,190 But what I didn't do is use slimy gimmicks as you have done. 224 00:12:19,299 --> 00:12:21,649 Well you don't know me and you don't know why I'm here. 225 00:12:21,735 --> 00:12:23,235 Would you like to tell me? 226 00:12:23,445 --> 00:12:24,545 No thank you. 227 00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:26,071 Do you know why he's here? 228 00:12:26,241 --> 00:12:28,937 Oh, I have been trying for weeks. 229 00:12:29,272 --> 00:12:30,472 Alright. 230 00:12:30,524 --> 00:12:33,231 Well whatever issue it is you're here to work out... 231 00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:35,689 perhaps painful 5th grade spelling bee or... 232 00:12:35,783 --> 00:12:36,413 It's not that. 233 00:12:36,466 --> 00:12:37,766 I'm not asking! 234 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:40,236 I'm simply telling you you're in the wrong place. 235 00:12:40,463 --> 00:12:42,051 No this is the spot. 236 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,058 I'm gonna be out of your hair in 3 days though. 237 00:12:44,766 --> 00:12:46,166 Perhaps sooner. 238 00:12:46,188 --> 00:12:49,260 Because however smart you think you are with this loophole your snaking through... 239 00:12:49,307 --> 00:12:52,744 I'll bet you're not half as smart as even our worst speller. 240 00:12:53,054 --> 00:12:56,101 So B-R-A-V-O Mr. Trilby. 241 00:12:56,241 --> 00:12:57,297 You've made it. 242 00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:59,180 That one I know. It's bravo. 243 00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:02,711 All the way to your own hanging. 244 00:13:03,563 --> 00:13:05,199 Your noose. Enjoy. 245 00:13:05,867 --> 00:13:07,367 Can I ask you a question? 246 00:13:07,627 --> 00:13:10,388 On your wife’s birthday, does she get to wear the strap-on... 247 00:13:10,431 --> 00:13:12,852 or do you hog that thing 365? 248 00:13:12,898 --> 00:13:15,280 - That's yours right. You hold onto that. - Good day! 249 00:13:15,323 --> 00:13:17,716 - You don't share that with anybody. - Good day! 250 00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:21,555 - I thank you very much. - Oh you can thank Dr. Bowman. 251 00:13:21,886 --> 00:13:24,583 He was very disappointed he couldn't personally place that... 252 00:13:24,669 --> 00:13:25,883 around your throat. 253 00:13:25,968 --> 00:13:29,139 Oh yeah. Is he busy doing something more pleasurable... 254 00:13:29,186 --> 00:13:30,313 with another guy's throat? 255 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,252 He is in the middle of a very important media training session. 256 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,522 Surely you're aware that your little stunt has landed... 257 00:13:35,576 --> 00:13:38,244 on the very first year we're televising this tournament! 258 00:13:38,330 --> 00:13:39,938 Hang on... 259 00:13:40,172 --> 00:13:41,792 That is a coincidence. 260 00:13:42,042 --> 00:13:43,687 It doesn't bother you that... 261 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,648 a few million people will witness your embarrassment? 262 00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,922 I'm not gonna be the one with the red face. Trust me. 263 00:13:49,022 --> 00:13:50,522 I'm not here for that. 264 00:13:51,445 --> 00:13:52,945 Okay. 265 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,499 Okay. 266 00:13:55,436 --> 00:13:57,117 See you later. 267 00:13:57,164 --> 00:14:00,570 Oh, and I personally arranged your hotel accommodations. 268 00:14:00,921 --> 00:14:02,989 - I bet they're not awesome. - They're not! 269 00:14:04,263 --> 00:14:05,934 Nice to meet you. 270 00:14:09,554 --> 00:14:12,610 [Guy narrating]I had plenty of opportunities to stop what I was doing. 271 00:14:13,012 --> 00:14:14,657 To make a good decision. 272 00:14:15,672 --> 00:14:19,295 But that would have required the kind of lessons I was never taught. 273 00:14:21,534 --> 00:14:24,666 Oh, um, there's an ice-cream social at 5:30pm. 274 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:27,398 You gonna be there? 275 00:14:27,441 --> 00:14:28,742 Ok, no, well... 276 00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,719 I could be pretty late to that. 277 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:31,935 Really late. 278 00:14:31,978 --> 00:14:33,478 Super late! 279 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:34,508 Meet me there though. 280 00:14:34,563 --> 00:14:36,081 - Here's your key Mr. Trible. - Thank you. 281 00:14:36,433 --> 00:14:39,051 - Ma’am, I'll be right back with yours. - Oh, bummer. 282 00:14:39,184 --> 00:14:40,684 See ya. 283 00:14:41,945 --> 00:14:43,445 [Chaitanya] Hold the door! 284 00:14:48,258 --> 00:14:49,776 Hey, pool side too. 285 00:14:52,664 --> 00:14:54,466 Did you remember your winning word? 286 00:14:55,576 --> 00:14:56,990 I'm Chaitanya, remember? 287 00:14:57,041 --> 00:14:58,541 I can't do it again, Shwarma. 288 00:14:58,687 --> 00:15:00,187 Chaitanya. 289 00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:03,271 How about just your favorite word. 290 00:15:03,326 --> 00:15:05,516 I'm serious pal. 291 00:15:05,586 --> 00:15:07,930 - You don't have one? - I don't. Nope, sorry. 292 00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:11,023 Mine is subjugate. 293 00:15:11,105 --> 00:15:13,100 It just sounds so cool, you know. 294 00:15:13,195 --> 00:15:14,695 Subjugate. 295 00:15:15,216 --> 00:15:17,000 Subjugate. 296 00:15:17,648 --> 00:15:19,366 Subjugate. 297 00:15:20,494 --> 00:15:21,894 What's yours? 298 00:15:21,924 --> 00:15:23,783 Can we shut the fuck up?! 299 00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:27,491 Well, that's four words. A sentence really. 300 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:29,577 Pretend you're on a desert island... 301 00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:31,134 and this gorilla comes out of the jungle... 302 00:15:31,243 --> 00:15:32,755 he holds a gun to your head and says... 303 00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:34,845 hoo hoo, tell me what your favorite word is. 304 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,092 - What would you say? - Sweet fuck! 305 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,699 - We got a gorilla with a gun! - Yeah a gorilla with a gun. 306 00:15:38,778 --> 00:15:41,259 - And he's on a desert island? - He's standing right there. 307 00:15:41,321 --> 00:15:43,290 Here's what I'd do. I'd kick some sand in the monkey's face... 308 00:15:43,392 --> 00:15:44,610 I'd take his gun and hunt you down... 309 00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,164 I'd stick it in your mouth and I'd tell you... 310 00:15:46,207 --> 00:15:48,775 to stop trying to get all up in my kitchen, kid. 311 00:15:48,818 --> 00:15:51,722 Again, that's a sentence. We can finish that later. 312 00:15:51,792 --> 00:15:53,292 Bye bye. 313 00:16:05,328 --> 00:16:06,336 Come on. 314 00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:09,711 Unfortunately the hotel is completely sold out. 315 00:16:10,155 --> 00:16:11,953 I don't have a bathroom. 316 00:16:12,227 --> 00:16:13,727 Yeah. 317 00:16:16,195 --> 00:16:18,961 Where would the hotel like me to put my piss and shit? 318 00:16:27,016 --> 00:16:36,664 [Sportscaster on tv describing event] 319 00:16:36,711 --> 00:16:38,398 - Bartender. - Yes? 320 00:16:38,913 --> 00:16:40,491 Do you know how to make an old fashioned? 321 00:16:40,555 --> 00:16:42,055 - Sure. - Okay. 322 00:16:42,742 --> 00:16:44,242 Actually make that two. 323 00:16:48,388 --> 00:16:49,888 No mini-bar huh? 324 00:16:50,156 --> 00:16:52,218 They put me in a storage closet. 325 00:16:53,750 --> 00:16:56,015 I think the queen bee is sending you a message. 326 00:16:57,063 --> 00:16:58,563 Whatever. 327 00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:00,664 Oh, god. 328 00:17:02,109 --> 00:17:03,680 A lot of parents around here. 329 00:17:05,656 --> 00:17:08,272 I'm bursting at the seems with parents. 330 00:17:09,773 --> 00:17:11,273 [Bartender] Here you go. 331 00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:14,175 - Where are your parents? - Jenny, c'mon. 332 00:17:14,239 --> 00:17:15,739 I just wanna have a drink in peace. 333 00:17:16,071 --> 00:17:18,539 Okay? And can I give you a little journalistic advice? 334 00:17:19,186 --> 00:17:20,686 Don't try so hard. 335 00:17:20,747 --> 00:17:22,542 Get on the clock. We're here 3 days. 336 00:17:22,636 --> 00:17:24,314 So just, you know... 337 00:17:24,368 --> 00:17:26,290 Difficult to talk when you're being smothered. 338 00:17:27,558 --> 00:17:29,844 You're an insolent child. 339 00:17:29,997 --> 00:17:31,945 Hiding secrets from his mommy. 340 00:17:31,992 --> 00:17:34,751 Really, you're not half the broad my mother was, so... 341 00:17:35,406 --> 00:17:36,906 or is. 342 00:17:42,733 --> 00:17:44,233 Seat opened up. 343 00:17:45,862 --> 00:17:49,179 I don't wanna talk and I don't wanna drink I'm dead serious. 344 00:17:49,227 --> 00:17:51,304 Either you leave or I'm going to. 345 00:17:51,562 --> 00:17:55,779 Or you could stay. I could buy you yet another dinner. 346 00:17:55,822 --> 00:17:56,542 No! 347 00:17:56,585 --> 00:18:00,758 You could expand on those 3 measely answers that you've given me this far. 348 00:18:00,898 --> 00:18:02,402 You know too much already. 349 00:18:05,762 --> 00:18:08,205 Hold on a second. 350 00:18:08,439 --> 00:18:13,208 Wild turkey. Olive green. 32A. 351 00:18:14,321 --> 00:18:18,930 Favorite drink, color and breast size, are first date questions. 352 00:18:18,977 --> 00:18:22,005 Or maybe you've never been on one of those? 353 00:18:22,122 --> 00:18:23,747 Can you leave me alone. 354 00:18:23,805 --> 00:18:25,305 I've asked you like 4 or 5 times. 355 00:18:25,336 --> 00:18:27,476 Why don't you tell me why you're so angry with the world. 356 00:18:27,519 --> 00:18:29,328 Just, c'mon. Go ahead. 357 00:18:29,956 --> 00:18:32,484 Screw! Please. 358 00:18:40,142 --> 00:18:42,102 - Screw? - Screw! 359 00:18:43,203 --> 00:18:44,807 Fuck off. Did it. 360 00:18:45,018 --> 00:18:48,785 Did you just tire of the words, "fuck off" ? 361 00:18:48,917 --> 00:18:52,813 Because I know you're not suggesting I let you fuck me again. 362 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:57,859 First of all, you're welcome. 363 00:18:58,375 --> 00:19:02,256 If you'd like me to consider another "event"... 364 00:19:02,779 --> 00:19:05,096 with you, you can ask me nicely. 365 00:19:06,951 --> 00:19:11,039 And secondly, "fuck off" works just great if that's what you prefer. 366 00:19:11,082 --> 00:19:12,747 Does that sound better to you? 367 00:19:13,675 --> 00:19:15,563 Or does "screw" sound pretty nice? 368 00:19:32,332 --> 00:19:33,916 - Alright? - We're doing great. 369 00:19:33,976 --> 00:19:35,476 Okay. 370 00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,832 Ooh, yeah. 371 00:19:37,895 --> 00:19:39,395 - Do not look at me! - Okay. 372 00:19:40,563 --> 00:19:41,789 Do not look at me! 373 00:19:41,852 --> 00:19:43,152 You're fucking staring at me, you know. 374 00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:44,680 It's kinda creepy. 375 00:19:48,414 --> 00:19:50,396 Don't look at me. DON'T LOOK AT ME! 376 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,646 Don't look at me. I'll have to start again. 377 00:19:52,689 --> 00:19:53,689 - I understand. 378 00:19:53,753 --> 00:19:55,445 - Faster! - Okay. 379 00:19:55,712 --> 00:19:57,219 We could be here all night. 380 00:19:57,266 --> 00:19:58,766 Build it up. 381 00:19:59,155 --> 00:20:00,655 Climbing a mountain. 382 00:20:02,899 --> 00:20:04,399 One foot in front of the other. 383 00:20:07,675 --> 00:20:09,227 Now we're jogging. 384 00:20:09,882 --> 00:20:11,437 Now we're jogging. 385 00:20:11,984 --> 00:20:12,984 Who wants to run? 386 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,884 DON'T LOOK AT ME! Do you want me to grab your balls? 387 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,087 Do you want me to stick my fingers in your asshole? 388 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,718 SHUT THE FUCK UP! 389 00:20:26,076 --> 00:20:27,576 Don't look at me! 390 00:20:28,883 --> 00:20:31,179 Ugh... Wow! 391 00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:33,960 So, second time. 392 00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:35,101 Shame on me. 393 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,603 Well I had a good time too. Thanks. 394 00:20:40,226 --> 00:20:41,626 So if I need fresh towels in the morning... 395 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,326 I should just, put my name on this? 396 00:20:45,688 --> 00:20:46,888 Okay. 397 00:20:46,961 --> 00:20:48,361 I'll see you tomorrow. 398 00:20:48,422 --> 00:20:50,411 - So whatever, yeah. - Bye. 399 00:21:15,057 --> 00:21:17,172 You know, if you really had it all together... 400 00:21:17,349 --> 00:21:19,031 you wouldn't be leaving your under... 401 00:21:19,305 --> 00:21:22,307 Sorry to bother you, but the lady said you were still awake. 402 00:21:22,822 --> 00:21:25,151 Would you mind helping me open this jar of pretzels? 403 00:21:26,515 --> 00:21:27,615 Wow! 404 00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:29,404 Small room. 405 00:21:31,571 --> 00:21:34,844 Can you help me? I haven't had anything to eat all night. 406 00:21:35,015 --> 00:21:36,338 I was studying my words all night... 407 00:21:36,381 --> 00:21:37,681 but I missed room service hours.. 408 00:21:37,712 --> 00:21:39,742 and this jar is too hard for me to open. 409 00:21:48,252 --> 00:21:50,776 Are you opening it now, or have you taken it? 410 00:21:52,390 --> 00:21:53,590 Great. 411 00:21:53,648 --> 00:21:54,948 Thanks. 412 00:21:55,039 --> 00:21:57,814 I was also wondering if you wanted to be my friend? 413 00:21:58,086 --> 00:21:59,658 Why would I want to be friends with a 9 year old? 414 00:22:00,023 --> 00:22:02,438 Ten but... ok it's cool. 415 00:22:03,211 --> 00:22:06,052 I just thought it would be fun to study together before tomorrow. 416 00:22:06,398 --> 00:22:08,358 Drink soda pop from the mini-bar and stuff. 417 00:22:09,648 --> 00:22:11,648 - You have a mini-bar in there? - I do. 418 00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:14,698 What about mom and dad? 419 00:22:14,735 --> 00:22:17,365 My dad believes I should learn how to be my own man. 420 00:22:17,484 --> 00:22:18,492 And that means... 421 00:22:18,576 --> 00:22:20,840 staying in my own hotel room myself this weekend. 422 00:22:22,079 --> 00:22:24,063 So you're just staying in a different room down here, is it? 423 00:22:25,538 --> 00:22:28,032 He's staying at a fancier hotel a few blocks away. 424 00:22:28,726 --> 00:22:30,358 Nice guy. 425 00:22:30,476 --> 00:22:31,582 It's kinda neat... 426 00:22:31,628 --> 00:22:33,378 I get to jump on the bed as much as I want. 427 00:22:33,714 --> 00:22:36,666 But tonight, I messed up and missed room service. 428 00:22:37,984 --> 00:22:39,484 Have you named your binder? 429 00:22:39,537 --> 00:22:41,542 Yes. Todd. 430 00:22:41,714 --> 00:22:44,289 It has all the words I've ever memorized in them. 431 00:22:44,391 --> 00:22:46,008 And their origins. 432 00:22:46,677 --> 00:22:48,797 Todd's my key to success. 433 00:22:48,891 --> 00:22:51,957 I think I've spent more hours with Todd than even my parents. 434 00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:55,445 He's cool and he's smart and that's why I named him, Todd. 435 00:22:56,062 --> 00:22:57,764 No, that makes sense. 436 00:22:59,783 --> 00:23:01,674 Have you figured out your favorite word? 437 00:23:01,819 --> 00:23:03,319 No I sure haven't. 438 00:23:04,226 --> 00:23:05,825 Is it the "F" word? 439 00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:08,119 It's up there. 440 00:23:08,125 --> 00:23:09,425 Cause you say it a lot. 441 00:23:09,477 --> 00:23:10,977 Everyone should. 442 00:23:11,112 --> 00:23:13,906 Not me. My father says bad words. 443 00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:15,953 What about your dad? 444 00:23:15,996 --> 00:23:18,688 Never met him. But my mom said bad words, a lot. 445 00:23:18,906 --> 00:23:21,039 But you can say bad words. Who gives a shit. 446 00:23:21,336 --> 00:23:22,836 - I shouldn't. - Why not? 447 00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:25,531 You just say what you feel, you know. That's a good effort. Why don't you try one. 448 00:23:25,999 --> 00:23:28,333 I feel the opposite of bad wordy right now. 449 00:23:29,383 --> 00:23:31,805 Will you just say something bad you fucking Quaker. 450 00:23:34,648 --> 00:23:36,413 - Mother fucker!? - Great! 451 00:23:36,477 --> 00:23:38,031 Perfect. That's a good one. 452 00:23:38,476 --> 00:23:40,641 And did your soul burst into flames? No. 453 00:23:40,969 --> 00:23:42,069 Nope. 454 00:23:42,132 --> 00:23:43,632 I'm okay. 455 00:23:44,213 --> 00:23:46,612 You're a little weirdo, you know that? 456 00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:07,320 Hey. Hey. 457 00:24:08,788 --> 00:24:09,888 It's morning. 458 00:24:09,913 --> 00:24:12,703 You passed out last night and I was scared to wake you. 459 00:24:12,941 --> 00:24:15,117 My dad will be here any minute. You should go. 460 00:24:15,164 --> 00:24:16,664 Okay. 461 00:24:22,035 --> 00:24:24,144 You sleep good, dick head? 462 00:24:28,405 --> 00:24:30,921 [Jenny] So what do you want to know about this morning? 463 00:24:31,062 --> 00:24:33,035 Nothing, unless it's really important. 464 00:24:33,078 --> 00:24:35,906 You're going to be seated next to Braden Aftergood. 465 00:24:35,973 --> 00:24:37,473 He comes from bee royalty. 466 00:24:37,538 --> 00:24:39,843 - Consider me warned. - Good because he is awesome. 467 00:24:40,701 --> 00:24:41,534 - Is he? - Yeah. 468 00:24:41,577 --> 00:24:42,810 Is he a great speller? 469 00:24:42,853 --> 00:24:45,149 Did I leave my underpants in your room last night? 470 00:24:45,429 --> 00:24:48,906 Oh as a matter of fact. You... I don't know. 471 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:50,933 Would you look for me, please? 472 00:24:51,050 --> 00:24:53,289 - I only brought three pairs. - I probably would have seen them, Jenny. 473 00:24:53,374 --> 00:24:55,675 My room has no sink, shower or toilet. 474 00:24:56,258 --> 00:24:58,135 Score one for Deagan. 475 00:24:58,219 --> 00:25:00,672 And you can put me on the board too. 476 00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:08,865 [Guy narrating] Obviously if I could figure out a way to be less stubborn... 477 00:25:08,953 --> 00:25:11,490 the right way to fix things would be easier to see. 478 00:25:11,568 --> 00:25:13,493 Window! Window! Right there! 479 00:26:09,131 --> 00:26:10,431 Pretty impressive. 480 00:26:10,437 --> 00:26:13,545 [Announcer in background] All right everybody... we've got 5 minutes. 481 00:26:14,210 --> 00:26:16,006 [Usher] Press. Pick and Scroll. 482 00:26:16,343 --> 00:26:17,543 [Bernice]Yeah, I understand all that. 483 00:26:17,625 --> 00:26:20,068 Here's the randomized list for this round. 484 00:26:20,164 --> 00:26:23,555 Do me a favor and enunciate this year. 485 00:26:25,453 --> 00:26:26,753 Well... 486 00:26:26,789 --> 00:26:28,365 look who's here. 487 00:26:28,610 --> 00:26:30,219 Hook around your chair or something? 488 00:26:31,001 --> 00:26:32,040 Good luck. 489 00:26:32,101 --> 00:26:35,157 - [Usher] Hold on. - [Guy] I'm a contestant. 490 00:26:36,789 --> 00:26:38,289 How you doing? 491 00:26:43,072 --> 00:26:44,372 Guy. 492 00:26:44,460 --> 00:26:46,269 Oh, look who's here. Hi. 493 00:26:49,914 --> 00:26:51,688 Where's me? Is this me? 494 00:26:52,335 --> 00:26:53,835 Excuse me. 495 00:27:07,957 --> 00:27:12,634 Welcome everyone to the 111th annual Golden Quill national spelling bee. 496 00:27:12,703 --> 00:27:16,953 I'm Pete Fowler coming to you live from historic Figeroa Auditorium... 497 00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:19,573 here in sunny Los Angeles, California. 498 00:27:19,690 --> 00:27:22,581 This year marks the first year that the Golden Quill.. 499 00:27:22,643 --> 00:27:24,043 has been nationally televised... 500 00:27:24,044 --> 00:27:27,403 and we can think of no better captain for such a maiden voyage... 501 00:27:27,481 --> 00:27:30,509 then the president of the Quill Institute itself... 502 00:27:30,595 --> 00:27:33,102 welcome to your tournament, Professor William Bowman... 503 00:27:33,196 --> 00:27:35,648 or should I say, Dr. Bowman. 504 00:27:35,910 --> 00:27:38,023 That all depends on whether your sick or confused. 505 00:27:38,351 --> 00:27:40,132 Otherwise, just Bill. 506 00:27:40,413 --> 00:27:42,614 Well, let's get started shall we? 507 00:27:42,733 --> 00:27:46,233 We have all 50 competitors in the room and we're ready to begin. 508 00:27:46,306 --> 00:27:48,951 Our first competitor is Ling Quan. 509 00:27:49,068 --> 00:27:52,892 Ling says that when she grows up she'd like to be president of the United States... 510 00:27:52,991 --> 00:27:55,508 making it your 4th to reach the office, would it not? 511 00:27:55,586 --> 00:27:57,983 It would. Best of luck, Ling. 512 00:27:59,687 --> 00:28:01,187 Dactylogram. 513 00:28:01,668 --> 00:28:03,375 Dactylogram? 514 00:28:03,802 --> 00:28:05,359 Dactylogram. 515 00:28:05,789 --> 00:28:07,289 Dactylogram?! 516 00:28:09,445 --> 00:28:10,945 Dactylogram! 517 00:28:12,218 --> 00:28:14,098 Can I have the definition, please. 518 00:28:16,148 --> 00:28:17,759 A fingerprint. 519 00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:20,923 Dactylogram. 520 00:28:21,859 --> 00:28:23,651 May I have the origin, please. 521 00:28:24,066 --> 00:28:27,289 From the Greek combination "Dactylo". 522 00:28:27,531 --> 00:28:29,031 I'm Guy. 523 00:28:29,078 --> 00:28:31,470 And your Braden, right, Braden Aftergood? 524 00:28:33,366 --> 00:28:35,123 - I'm not supposed to talk to you. - [Ling in background] Dactylogram. 525 00:28:36,230 --> 00:28:37,730 Why not? 526 00:28:37,785 --> 00:28:41,440 Because my dad says you're probably just an unemployed bum... 527 00:28:41,688 --> 00:28:44,086 trying to steal the prize money that I deserve. 528 00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:45,908 And that you're a cheater. 529 00:28:46,234 --> 00:28:47,768 [Ling in background] Dactylogram. 530 00:28:48,984 --> 00:28:50,484 He said that, huh? 531 00:28:51,547 --> 00:28:53,047 He did. 532 00:28:53,319 --> 00:28:55,100 [Proctor] It is a noun. 533 00:28:58,545 --> 00:28:59,845 [Ling] Dactylogram 534 00:28:59,906 --> 00:29:02,586 Can you tell your dad that I don't blame him for being angry. 535 00:29:02,845 --> 00:29:04,719 And then can you do me another favor? 536 00:29:04,765 --> 00:29:06,635 Can you give these to your mother? 537 00:29:06,823 --> 00:29:08,973 She left those in my room last night. 538 00:29:09,156 --> 00:29:13,488 I would do it myself, but your dad ?? his mood... 539 00:29:13,538 --> 00:29:14,620 I don't want to kick the nest. 540 00:29:14,733 --> 00:29:16,617 Do you know what I mean? 541 00:29:17,303 --> 00:29:20,318 Oh buddy, good luck with that divorce, they get so nasty. 542 00:29:20,390 --> 00:29:22,193 What are you talking about? 543 00:29:22,266 --> 00:29:25,008 I'm talking about probably a very dysfunctional marriage. 544 00:29:25,431 --> 00:29:26,931 I'm glad I was there for her. 545 00:29:27,139 --> 00:29:28,969 It's just animal instinct too you know. 546 00:29:29,133 --> 00:29:30,633 [Ling in background] D-A- 547 00:29:30,656 --> 00:29:33,437 She can't help it, she's just human, okay. 548 00:29:33,547 --> 00:29:35,672 And she was very sweet. I want you to know that. 549 00:29:35,844 --> 00:29:37,790 [Ling spelling in background] 550 00:29:37,965 --> 00:29:41,078 She held me afterward. Nice woman. 551 00:29:41,125 --> 00:29:43,280 - [Proctor] That is correct. - Hey! 552 00:29:45,583 --> 00:29:46,783 You're up dog. 553 00:29:46,822 --> 00:29:50,734 [Dr. Bowman] Brave, intelligent. You've got my vote. 554 00:29:51,337 --> 00:29:53,939 Next up we have probably one of this years strongest competitors... 555 00:29:54,018 --> 00:29:55,025 Braden Aftergood. 556 00:29:55,117 --> 00:29:57,890 Oh that reminds me. My very first spelling bee... 557 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,107 I had my lucky bottle cap in my back pocket. 558 00:30:00,226 --> 00:30:02,631 Looks like he's got his good luck hanky there. 559 00:30:04,294 --> 00:30:05,810 Noctivagant. 560 00:30:10,316 --> 00:30:13,118 I'm sorry, definition? 561 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,522 Going about in the night... 562 00:30:16,565 --> 00:30:18,065 night wandering. 563 00:30:23,449 --> 00:30:25,742 - Noctivagant. - [Proctor] Noctivagant. 564 00:30:25,789 --> 00:30:27,428 Can you use it in a sentence? 565 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,609 The noctivagant alley cat... 566 00:30:31,929 --> 00:30:35,273 kept the entire neighborhood up all night... 567 00:30:35,355 --> 00:30:40,057 by sitting on a fence, yowling out to her many suitors. 568 00:30:41,650 --> 00:30:43,327 Noctivagant. 569 00:30:50,374 --> 00:30:51,983 Noctivagant. 570 00:30:52,749 --> 00:30:55,606 N-O-C 571 00:30:55,833 --> 00:30:57,944 T-I-V-I 572 00:30:58,896 --> 00:31:00,396 G-A-N-T 573 00:31:00,439 --> 00:31:01,939 Noctivagant. 574 00:31:04,635 --> 00:31:06,135 God. 575 00:31:06,148 --> 00:31:07,811 - [Pete]Well we have our first elimination... - [Guy] I'll be right back. 576 00:31:07,854 --> 00:31:08,672 of the tournament. 577 00:31:08,715 --> 00:31:10,629 [Dr. Bowman] Yes and surprisingly early too. 578 00:31:10,682 --> 00:31:14,977 [Pete] Next up is Mr. Guy Trilby. He's 40 years old, lives in Columbus, Ohio.. 579 00:31:15,023 --> 00:31:18,133 Now clearly Mr. Trilby has found a loophole in the rules of entry... 580 00:31:18,176 --> 00:31:19,676 and is exploiting it. 581 00:31:19,742 --> 00:31:22,217 Needless to say this is beyond unfortunate. 582 00:31:22,265 --> 00:31:25,147 My staff and I are making all the efforts necessary to... 583 00:31:25,214 --> 00:31:28,797 rectify the problem for the tournaments in the years that follow. 584 00:31:29,116 --> 00:31:32,475 With that addressed, on with the competition and the man himself... 585 00:31:32,586 --> 00:31:34,086 Guy Trilby. 586 00:31:34,406 --> 00:31:35,906 My turn. 587 00:31:37,007 --> 00:31:38,507 Frabjous. 588 00:31:40,117 --> 00:31:41,317 F-R-A-B 589 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:42,820 J-O-U-S 590 00:31:43,484 --> 00:31:44,984 That is correct. 591 00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:53,468 - [Angry crowd murmuring] - [Bernice] Thank you. That's enough! 592 00:31:53,517 --> 00:31:55,250 [Bernice] Listen! Listen! 593 00:31:55,297 --> 00:31:59,373 We are doing all we can to find a happy resolution... to this situation. 594 00:31:59,498 --> 00:32:00,698 [Angry parent] Aren't you embarrassed?! 595 00:32:00,740 --> 00:32:02,734 This is gonna go down in history as the most... 596 00:32:02,828 --> 00:32:04,578 ridiculous spelling bee ever... 597 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,646 and it's gonna be on your head. He's a grown man. 598 00:32:07,689 --> 00:32:10,522 Do you know how much money I've spent on goddamn coaches. 599 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,836 - I'm sure it's a lot. - A ton! 600 00:32:12,922 --> 00:32:14,122 He's a lunatic. 601 00:32:14,212 --> 00:32:15,112 Yes he is. 602 00:32:15,141 --> 00:32:19,196 So fix it or I swear on my childs life with God as my witness... 603 00:32:19,239 --> 00:32:21,272 this will be the last year you're the director of this bee! 604 00:32:21,315 --> 00:32:23,187 Alright. There's no need for threats. 605 00:32:23,281 --> 00:32:26,926 Now if we can all just leave my office I can assure you... 606 00:32:26,976 --> 00:32:29,382 this matter is in very capable hands. 607 00:32:29,754 --> 00:32:33,031 Now keep in mind Mr. Trilby doesn't have the discipline and practice... 608 00:32:33,082 --> 00:32:34,488 that all of your children have. 609 00:32:34,582 --> 00:32:37,211 He's made it through the first round. 610 00:32:37,258 --> 00:32:39,898 But Dr. Bowman and I are extremely confidant... 611 00:32:39,941 --> 00:32:41,965 he's not going to make it much farther. 612 00:32:42,039 --> 00:32:45,594 And I also swear on your children's lives... 613 00:32:45,703 --> 00:32:47,441 if he makes it to the final round... 614 00:32:47,514 --> 00:32:50,253 I'll step down as the director of the bee, immediately. 615 00:32:50,437 --> 00:32:51,937 Good day! 616 00:32:59,156 --> 00:33:01,695 I'll jump in the shower as soon as this buzz kicks in. 617 00:33:06,996 --> 00:33:08,732 Let me ask you a question. 618 00:33:09,162 --> 00:33:11,240 What's the grammatical significance... 619 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,337 of the sentence "why run from fire ants"? 620 00:33:18,531 --> 00:33:19,731 Is this a test? 621 00:33:19,788 --> 00:33:21,898 No. This isn't a que.. uh... 622 00:33:21,966 --> 00:33:24,094 I was wondering what the grammatical significance of that sentence was... 623 00:33:24,430 --> 00:33:26,598 - "why run from fire ants" - Right. 624 00:33:26,641 --> 00:33:29,211 Well, every vowels in there. 625 00:33:29,609 --> 00:33:32,195 Starting with the "u" going to the "a". 626 00:33:32,648 --> 00:33:34,048 Right, it's backwards. 627 00:33:34,100 --> 00:33:35,600 I guess it's easy... 628 00:33:35,679 --> 00:33:38,352 you know, for a sentence. I mean I wish there was... 629 00:33:38,765 --> 00:33:41,374 one word that had all the vowels in it... 630 00:33:41,547 --> 00:33:43,380 but in alphabetical order. 631 00:33:44,539 --> 00:33:46,726 - "Facetious". - Son of a bitch! 632 00:33:46,773 --> 00:33:48,173 - I got it? - You're brilliant. 633 00:33:48,255 --> 00:33:49,972 - Give me another on. - You're a genius. 634 00:33:50,032 --> 00:33:52,180 These questions are from the test they give the geniuses. 635 00:33:52,223 --> 00:33:54,992 I got a hold of your school records, Guy Trilby. 636 00:33:55,039 --> 00:33:57,289 Your 8th grade counselor made a note... 637 00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:59,856 on your file just before you dropped out saying... 638 00:33:59,942 --> 00:34:02,286 that you showed signs of being a genius. 639 00:34:02,574 --> 00:34:04,203 FedEx was waiting for me when I got here. 640 00:34:04,461 --> 00:34:05,861 I told you I was good. 641 00:34:05,913 --> 00:34:08,014 Mr. Leavenworth. What a dick he was. 642 00:34:08,469 --> 00:34:11,563 Told me I was a useless loser and then he makes secret notes saying... 643 00:34:11,606 --> 00:34:13,447 that he thinks that I'm smart?! 644 00:34:15,047 --> 00:34:17,006 Glad I stole his bike and shaved his cat. 645 00:34:18,032 --> 00:34:21,118 You just never had a chance to shine in this school. 646 00:34:21,203 --> 00:34:23,822 - You just never had a chance to realize... - Who didn't have a shitty upbringing. 647 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,875 My dad wasn't around. I mean it goes on and on and on. 648 00:34:26,918 --> 00:34:28,503 Who skated through their adolescence? 649 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,620 - Where was your father? - I don't know. 650 00:34:32,437 --> 00:34:35,116 You got something there. Where's your pen? 651 00:34:35,186 --> 00:34:37,636 Or maybe he was brilliant. Maybe your mom was. 652 00:34:37,679 --> 00:34:40,327 They say that sometimes a brilliance and photographic memory... 653 00:34:40,390 --> 00:34:41,390 which you have are inherited. 654 00:34:41,398 --> 00:34:43,797 Well it didn't come from mom. She hated everything to do with education. 655 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,054 This one time when I was a kid... 656 00:34:45,097 --> 00:34:46,813 I tried to get into this local spelling bee ironically enough... 657 00:34:46,859 --> 00:34:48,860 and she burnt my favorite dictionary. 658 00:34:49,156 --> 00:34:50,656 Is that why your here? 659 00:34:51,250 --> 00:34:53,759 A chance to do something you weren't able to do while she was alive? 660 00:34:53,860 --> 00:34:55,870 Are we in interview mode, now, c'mon. I mean... 661 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,827 we can't just have a normal conversation without turning it into an interview. 662 00:34:58,913 --> 00:35:00,460 - I'm a reporter. - That's a good point. 663 00:35:00,570 --> 00:35:02,070 Can't you talk, too? 664 00:35:02,442 --> 00:35:04,829 You know, you have problems, Guy Trilby. 665 00:35:04,977 --> 00:35:07,919 You're a shrink too? A shrink on top of being a reporter? 666 00:35:07,962 --> 00:35:09,101 I don't know how you crammed it all in. 667 00:35:09,155 --> 00:35:10,665 You're the one with the problem. 668 00:35:10,732 --> 00:35:13,638 You have to be blindfolded to get off. That's a problem. 669 00:35:13,818 --> 00:35:16,585 Oh! Well don't worry about that, Guy... 670 00:35:16,628 --> 00:35:18,460 cause that's never gonna happen again. 671 00:35:18,515 --> 00:35:20,695 - Great. - Oh, yeah great. 672 00:35:20,765 --> 00:35:21,665 You promise? 673 00:35:21,726 --> 00:35:25,369 I wouldn't let you near my vagina again if you paid me a million dollars. 674 00:35:25,617 --> 00:35:28,090 - [Jenny] Don't look at me! - Yeah [mumbles]... 675 00:35:28,902 --> 00:35:31,656 Be quiet your voice eats hard-ons. 676 00:35:31,925 --> 00:35:33,025 I'm sorry. 677 00:35:33,049 --> 00:35:34,914 ?? 678 00:35:34,973 --> 00:35:38,957 Okay... Ooh... Okay! You are sorry. 679 00:35:39,628 --> 00:35:40,728 Now that's generous. 680 00:35:40,749 --> 00:35:42,249 - We're okay? - Uh huh. 681 00:35:42,621 --> 00:35:46,303 Hang on. This might be easier? Hold on, hold on, hold on... 682 00:35:46,390 --> 00:35:48,643 - Now hold still. - That's easier, right? 683 00:35:49,201 --> 00:35:50,701 Don't look at me. I get it. 684 00:35:51,304 --> 00:35:53,318 I get it. Don't look at me! 685 00:35:56,895 --> 00:35:58,395 Hey did you get locked out? 686 00:35:58,896 --> 00:36:01,681 I was wondering if you wanted to grab some alimentation [food]... 687 00:36:01,737 --> 00:36:04,017 for you hyperphagia [hunger]. I'm hungry. 688 00:36:04,072 --> 00:36:06,117 Well I just got pretty hungry myself. 689 00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:08,203 Sure, let's go for it. 690 00:36:08,437 --> 00:36:10,895 I can't believe you can't find any other pre-masturbators to hang out with. 691 00:36:10,949 --> 00:36:12,249 The place is crawling with them. 692 00:36:12,303 --> 00:36:14,937 You know, you can actually study for this spelling bee anywhere. 693 00:36:15,117 --> 00:36:17,409 Thank you. Is that right? 694 00:36:18,469 --> 00:36:21,289 Try spelling "Rigatoni" without looking. 695 00:36:21,421 --> 00:36:24,249 I don't want to. I don't need to study. You need to study. 696 00:36:24,584 --> 00:36:26,882 Because I'm gonna slaughter you like the sacred cow. 697 00:36:27,297 --> 00:36:28,922 Not everything is about winning. 698 00:36:29,007 --> 00:36:30,992 Closure's pretty nice too. 699 00:36:31,997 --> 00:36:34,060 To me it's about fun. 700 00:36:34,508 --> 00:36:37,010 Well, you probably deserve a little bit better than that. 701 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:38,580 Excuse me, uh... 702 00:36:38,605 --> 00:36:41,180 I'm the mother of one of the competitors competing here. 703 00:36:41,507 --> 00:36:42,407 Okay. 704 00:36:42,429 --> 00:36:45,867 What you're doing is an insult to every honest child... 705 00:36:45,910 --> 00:36:48,344 that's worked so hard to be here. 706 00:36:49,124 --> 00:36:50,624 Including my son. 707 00:36:51,781 --> 00:36:54,796 I've worked very hard to get here too madam and I'm well within the rules. 708 00:36:55,663 --> 00:36:57,891 You're an asshole. That's all. 709 00:36:58,547 --> 00:37:00,242 - That's a child. - It is. 710 00:37:00,533 --> 00:37:02,682 And I'm sure he's heard even worse from you. 711 00:37:02,781 --> 00:37:04,281 I don't speak like that in front of him. 712 00:37:05,060 --> 00:37:06,873 - Oh is that right. - Yes that's right! 713 00:37:07,486 --> 00:37:09,446 So why don't you take your potty mouth... 714 00:37:09,626 --> 00:37:12,438 go locate your pre-teen cocksucker son... 715 00:37:12,484 --> 00:37:13,984 and stuff him back up that old... 716 00:37:13,990 --> 00:37:15,921 blown out sweat sock of a vagina and scoot off to... 717 00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:18,809 whatever shit kicking town you came from. Can you do that for me? 718 00:37:20,985 --> 00:37:22,923 Like an elephants trunk I'll bet. 719 00:37:24,914 --> 00:37:27,232 Gray and distended. 720 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:29,880 - Good night. - Good day. 721 00:37:29,892 --> 00:37:31,392 Thank you. 722 00:37:33,469 --> 00:37:34,869 Mothers! 723 00:37:34,967 --> 00:37:37,628 Let's get out of this restaurant. It's a little depressing don't you think? 724 00:37:37,894 --> 00:37:40,087 My dad doesn't ever allow me to leave the hotel. 725 00:37:40,130 --> 00:37:42,902 Well daddies not here and he sounds like he could be an asshole so... 726 00:37:42,964 --> 00:37:45,742 so let's not listen to him. Let's go find you some real fun. 727 00:37:46,242 --> 00:37:47,742 Side door. 728 00:39:56,106 --> 00:39:59,077 [Jeremy] Glad I was in town to catch your call. 729 00:39:59,132 --> 00:40:02,113 You look really, really good. 730 00:40:02,156 --> 00:40:05,409 I appreciate that. I've been staying away from sugar. 731 00:40:05,452 --> 00:40:07,067 - Cold turkey. - Wow. 732 00:40:07,674 --> 00:40:09,695 Do you feel as good as you look? 733 00:40:10,462 --> 00:40:11,762 Are you happy? 734 00:40:11,794 --> 00:40:13,792 How's federal agent life treating you? 735 00:40:13,835 --> 00:40:16,531 You know it's not as fun as it used to be. Yeah. 736 00:40:16,578 --> 00:40:20,313 I kind of miss you dinging around where you shouldn't be. 737 00:40:22,125 --> 00:40:25,234 - Yes. Yeah. - There you go. 738 00:40:25,848 --> 00:40:28,609 That's one background check on one Guy Trilby. 739 00:40:32,296 --> 00:40:34,265 Is this for a story or something? 740 00:40:37,199 --> 00:40:38,699 Something good? 741 00:40:42,414 --> 00:40:44,145 Did you do this background yourself? 742 00:40:44,266 --> 00:40:46,877 Of course I did. What kind of guy repays a favor by delegating. 743 00:40:46,940 --> 00:40:48,440 I did it. 744 00:40:49,750 --> 00:40:54,111 - This is incredible. Thank you, so much. - Yeah. 745 00:40:54,908 --> 00:40:57,148 So, is that it? 746 00:40:57,733 --> 00:41:00,736 Oh yeah, this is... huge. 747 00:41:00,779 --> 00:41:03,876 That's a relief. This has been hanging over my head for years and... 748 00:41:03,919 --> 00:41:06,055 I'm the kind of guy, I like to keep a debt free lifestyle. 749 00:41:06,141 --> 00:41:08,281 - Oh well consider yourself... - Yeah. 750 00:41:08,344 --> 00:41:09,152 free and clear. 751 00:41:09,223 --> 00:41:11,391 I just expected to have to do so much more you know? 752 00:41:11,492 --> 00:41:13,308 It seems like it's not enough... 753 00:41:13,362 --> 00:41:13,875 No! 754 00:41:13,922 --> 00:41:15,905 Cause I mean, you saved my ass you know. 755 00:41:16,053 --> 00:41:17,253 - My career. - Wow. 756 00:41:17,258 --> 00:41:19,069 - I feel I'm getting off easy. - No! 757 00:41:19,116 --> 00:41:22,114 You know. You did me a solid. 758 00:41:22,401 --> 00:41:25,230 No we uh, we're square. 759 00:41:25,309 --> 00:41:27,899 - You don't want anything more in return? - Uh uh. 760 00:41:28,597 --> 00:41:30,188 You don't want anything... 761 00:41:33,346 --> 00:41:34,938 solid... 762 00:41:38,448 --> 00:41:39,948 in return. 763 00:41:44,750 --> 00:41:46,250 No. 764 00:41:48,328 --> 00:41:50,907 Are you familiar with the phrase "eatin and cheatin" 765 00:41:50,977 --> 00:41:53,455 - Thanks so much. - It's a popular phrase. 766 00:41:55,451 --> 00:41:57,469 [Guy] Aren't these guys incredible. 767 00:41:58,169 --> 00:41:59,669 Was I right about the cherry? 768 00:41:59,768 --> 00:42:01,268 Yeah but... 769 00:42:01,468 --> 00:42:03,583 Well you might want to slow down a little bit Swami... 770 00:42:03,859 --> 00:42:06,422 Looks like you got into the wrong dudes ass, here. 771 00:42:06,465 --> 00:42:08,691 Hah! Funny! 772 00:42:10,772 --> 00:42:13,281 You look like you're a person who pooped your underwear... 773 00:42:13,328 --> 00:42:15,180 then you used it for a bank robber's mask. 774 00:42:15,227 --> 00:42:17,131 and you ?? 775 00:42:17,195 --> 00:42:19,757 and forgot to wash your face. 776 00:42:20,228 --> 00:42:22,524 You shouldn't insult people. You're no good at it. 777 00:42:24,283 --> 00:42:26,495 This soda pop is so delicious. 778 00:42:26,550 --> 00:42:28,965 I'd just say "soda" otherwise you're gonna get raped. 779 00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:32,531 I like having you as a friend. 780 00:42:36,739 --> 00:42:38,973 Although, I'm not your friend. 781 00:42:39,028 --> 00:42:40,941 You got friends. I'm like four times your age. 782 00:42:41,043 --> 00:42:42,805 I really don't have any friends. 783 00:42:43,036 --> 00:42:45,430 I thought being good in spelling would get me friends.... 784 00:42:45,473 --> 00:42:47,561 but kids just make fun of me more. 785 00:42:48,851 --> 00:42:51,053 Well who needs them. You've got Todd, right? 786 00:42:51,484 --> 00:42:53,140 And you too maybe, huh? 787 00:42:54,058 --> 00:42:56,289 No. Buddy I work alone. 788 00:42:57,010 --> 00:43:01,341 Always have. My mom always kept me running around with her, avoiding rent. 789 00:43:01,527 --> 00:43:04,711 I never gathered a bunch of friends. 790 00:43:06,599 --> 00:43:08,978 And it's fine, it's good. You'll be alright. 791 00:43:20,856 --> 00:43:21,901 What's that? 792 00:43:21,945 --> 00:43:24,097 I borrowed it when you borrowed the lobster. 793 00:43:25,502 --> 00:43:27,002 Really. 794 00:43:27,180 --> 00:43:29,003 Let me see it. 795 00:43:31,048 --> 00:43:33,828 Your fingers get a little sticky when you get all boozed up. 796 00:43:36,413 --> 00:43:39,312 Toys are fun to have when you can't play with other kids. 797 00:43:39,361 --> 00:43:40,970 That's true. 798 00:43:41,165 --> 00:43:43,992 What was your favorite toy when you were a kid? 799 00:43:45,664 --> 00:43:48,773 Well I did love a little toy car once. 800 00:43:48,828 --> 00:43:51,817 Kind of like this. It was a shitty little black and white police car. 801 00:43:51,860 --> 00:43:53,461 Never left my pocket. 802 00:43:54,895 --> 00:43:58,852 I lost it one night I think. I must have dropped it or something. 803 00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:01,140 I never saw it again. 804 00:44:03,055 --> 00:44:07,555 Had a little Kojak light right on top. 805 00:44:07,716 --> 00:44:09,688 Right there. A little single bubble. 806 00:44:11,422 --> 00:44:13,189 Chasing down bad guys. 807 00:44:22,492 --> 00:44:23,892 Alright so you're a little thief... 808 00:44:23,974 --> 00:44:25,789 and you don't have any friends. 809 00:44:26,532 --> 00:44:29,472 Kind of like a real loser. Bet you crack ass though right? 810 00:44:29,519 --> 00:44:31,019 You make up for it with the women? 811 00:44:31,882 --> 00:44:33,382 No. 812 00:44:33,407 --> 00:44:36,055 No girlfriend for you? You can't find one little... 813 00:44:36,688 --> 00:44:40,708 chicken Tika that gets your shrimp can going all up in? 814 00:44:40,976 --> 00:44:41,999 Nope. 815 00:44:42,042 --> 00:44:45,401 But when I do get one, it's going to be a girl with nipples. 816 00:44:45,699 --> 00:44:48,531 Is that right, well lucky for you they all have nipples, pal. 817 00:44:48,602 --> 00:44:50,460 Every girl does not have nipples. 818 00:44:50,585 --> 00:44:52,296 - They do. - No they don't. 819 00:44:52,428 --> 00:44:54,951 - Buddy I promise you they do. - No they don't. 820 00:44:55,148 --> 00:44:57,916 Alright. I don't know how I missed that. 821 00:44:58,396 --> 00:44:59,896 You look at their shirts. 822 00:45:00,115 --> 00:45:02,425 On some you can see the little nipples. 823 00:45:02,484 --> 00:45:05,322 Poking through their shirts. On others, nothing. 824 00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:08,953 Oh I see. I got it. 825 00:45:09,299 --> 00:45:11,422 Buddy you're in bad shape. 826 00:45:11,860 --> 00:45:14,672 You know what. I'm gonna do you a favor. C'mon. 827 00:45:15,668 --> 00:45:17,344 Let's go. You done here? 828 00:45:17,477 --> 00:45:20,203 - Where we going? - Just c'mon. Let's go. 829 00:45:20,246 --> 00:45:23,344 My dad had been around it's something I wish he'd have done with me. 830 00:45:25,270 --> 00:45:26,891 I hope it's not a workout. 831 00:45:27,435 --> 00:45:30,176 - I hope it's a sundae. - Yeah, it's not. 832 00:45:30,242 --> 00:45:32,658 A desert would follow that chili dog really well. 833 00:45:32,710 --> 00:45:34,210 No ice-cream pal. 834 00:45:41,086 --> 00:45:42,602 [Guy] Hey! 835 00:45:44,625 --> 00:45:48,125 Slum-dog I want you to meet Marzipan. Marzipan, slum-dog. 836 00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:49,139 Hi. 837 00:45:49,201 --> 00:45:50,548 You said he was sixteen. 838 00:45:50,591 --> 00:45:53,641 Yeah he is 16. He's got a hydro-thyroid retention problem. 839 00:45:53,705 --> 00:45:55,205 Remember Gary Coleman? 840 00:45:56,010 --> 00:45:58,064 God rest his sweet, funny soul. 841 00:45:58,107 --> 00:45:59,518 Amen, okay, let's do this. 842 00:45:59,561 --> 00:46:02,226 Chaiwalla, all I can say is your welcome. 843 00:46:02,492 --> 00:46:03,892 For what? 844 00:46:03,938 --> 00:46:05,438 Hit it! 845 00:46:10,781 --> 00:46:20,683 3,4,5,6,7,8... 846 00:46:21,945 --> 00:46:23,792 - 9... - Play it. 847 00:46:25,373 --> 00:46:26,873 10. 848 00:46:27,225 --> 00:46:30,505 Nice? Huh? 849 00:46:33,633 --> 00:46:35,219 Good right? 850 00:46:36,031 --> 00:46:37,633 - No tip. - No tip. 851 00:46:38,158 --> 00:46:39,258 Asshole! 852 00:46:39,318 --> 00:46:41,903 Well don't ask me for my last 10, Marzipan... 853 00:46:41,973 --> 00:46:44,070 and then expect me to tip you. There's your tip. 854 00:46:44,118 --> 00:46:46,790 Bye sweetie. Good luck with your glands and shit. 855 00:46:46,846 --> 00:46:48,831 Thank you. Wasn't that good?! 856 00:46:49,598 --> 00:46:50,498 I liked her. 857 00:46:50,518 --> 00:46:52,630 I still have a couple of bucks. Do you wanna get the ice-cream now? 858 00:46:52,673 --> 00:46:54,392 Fuck the ice-cream. I want to touch them. 859 00:46:56,987 --> 00:46:58,875 I don't know. 860 00:46:58,914 --> 00:47:02,414 Which way did she go. She turn right? Let's go ask her. 861 00:47:03,033 --> 00:47:04,562 Marzipan! 862 00:47:06,195 --> 00:47:07,727 [Guy] Well that might be true but... 863 00:47:07,773 --> 00:47:09,855 I still think a person your age should be carrying... 864 00:47:09,904 --> 00:47:11,995 at least a dollar in his pocket and if you had... 865 00:47:12,038 --> 00:47:13,038 that would have been the difference. 866 00:47:13,133 --> 00:47:14,433 You would have gotten yourself a little bit of skin. 867 00:47:14,515 --> 00:47:16,499 But it was still the best time of my life. 868 00:47:17,219 --> 00:47:18,930 Are we friends now? 869 00:47:23,375 --> 00:47:24,875 Cool! 870 00:47:37,874 --> 00:47:40,412 I'd like it if you could block out a little bit of private time for me... 871 00:47:40,546 --> 00:47:42,046 after today's round. 872 00:47:42,195 --> 00:47:43,860 If you don't mind. 873 00:47:46,617 --> 00:47:48,986 You saying you want to come over and fuck off again? 874 00:47:50,961 --> 00:47:52,061 No that's not what... 875 00:47:52,094 --> 00:47:54,251 Wanna look for your underwear? 876 00:47:54,500 --> 00:47:55,290 Just give me 10 minutes. 877 00:47:55,333 --> 00:47:56,433 Guy. 878 00:47:56,437 --> 00:47:59,450 I wanted to give you something before the round starts. 879 00:48:01,015 --> 00:48:04,515 A little white-out and a Lego piece and you got your car back. 880 00:48:05,573 --> 00:48:07,175 Thanks buddy. 881 00:48:07,226 --> 00:48:09,727 But I'm still gonna totally bust your nut. 882 00:48:10,758 --> 00:48:12,868 Ow. I don't think you need to say that. 883 00:48:12,936 --> 00:48:14,170 - I do. - No, no. 884 00:48:14,234 --> 00:48:16,066 - Say you're gonna kick my ass. - Okay. 885 00:48:16,195 --> 00:48:17,295 - That! - Alright. 886 00:48:17,352 --> 00:48:19,024 - See you there. - See you there. 887 00:48:21,723 --> 00:48:22,823 You're a ??. 888 00:48:22,828 --> 00:48:24,445 I don't know. Kids are weird. 889 00:48:46,539 --> 00:48:50,039 Stand by in 5,4,3,2... 890 00:48:50,867 --> 00:48:55,249 [Pete]Welcome America to round 2 of the Golden Quill national spelling bee. 891 00:48:55,311 --> 00:48:58,206 It is a point where, sadly, many have already gone home. 892 00:48:58,554 --> 00:49:01,991 But the fighting spirit remains for those who have survived. 893 00:49:02,038 --> 00:49:05,356 And that number is 30. Thirty brave determined... [fades out] 894 00:49:07,378 --> 00:49:08,878 Here are this rounds words. 895 00:49:08,992 --> 00:49:12,964 Let's remember this competition is in English, not marble mouth! 896 00:49:19,039 --> 00:49:20,682 [Proctor] Rhapsodize. 897 00:49:22,304 --> 00:49:23,870 Rhapsodize. 898 00:49:25,734 --> 00:49:27,234 Rhapsodize. 899 00:49:30,538 --> 00:49:32,094 Rhapsodize 900 00:49:34,710 --> 00:49:36,210 Rhapsodize. 901 00:49:37,982 --> 00:49:40,074 - [contest continues in background] - Joyce. 902 00:49:40,523 --> 00:49:42,381 I'm wondering if that's your... 903 00:49:42,710 --> 00:49:45,052 It's like a hair-clip or something over there. 904 00:49:45,113 --> 00:49:47,323 - Where? - Underneath that seat. Can you see it? 905 00:49:47,603 --> 00:49:48,703 It's certainly not mine. 906 00:49:48,781 --> 00:49:51,007 I just don't want you to lose something that might cost... there you go. 907 00:49:51,758 --> 00:49:53,258 Give it a look. 908 00:49:53,424 --> 00:49:56,196 [Guy narrating] My behavior was ridiculous at best. 909 00:49:57,835 --> 00:50:00,686 I'm incredibly lucky I wasn't beaten to death by the parents... 910 00:50:01,154 --> 00:50:03,103 - There's nothing down there. - Okay. 911 00:50:03,429 --> 00:50:04,929 or their children. 912 00:50:05,383 --> 00:50:06,883 That's a big never mind now. 913 00:50:07,134 --> 00:50:10,734 Okay I want you to get ready to get super happy. 914 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:12,892 We've got a celebration on our hands. 915 00:50:13,001 --> 00:50:14,617 What are you talking about? 916 00:50:15,045 --> 00:50:16,859 it seems that... 917 00:50:17,616 --> 00:50:18,916 your friend... 918 00:50:18,968 --> 00:50:20,625 has finally come to town. 919 00:50:20,797 --> 00:50:21,997 - My what? - Yeah. 920 00:50:22,069 --> 00:50:23,776 Somebody's a woman today. 921 00:50:25,961 --> 00:50:27,731 I don't know what you're saying to me. 922 00:50:30,187 --> 00:50:32,095 When you got up... 923 00:50:32,243 --> 00:50:33,813 I saw... 924 00:50:34,647 --> 00:50:36,660 your adulthood. 925 00:50:37,305 --> 00:50:38,878 Adulthood?! 926 00:50:48,332 --> 00:50:52,570 Congratulations. You must be vibrating. That's so exciting. 927 00:50:52,777 --> 00:50:55,958 But you can celebrate later. Right now you've got a tournament to win... 928 00:50:56,046 --> 00:50:57,146 you've got words to spell.. 929 00:50:57,156 --> 00:51:00,868 even though your situation might not be very camera friendly. 930 00:51:01,016 --> 00:51:02,216 Screw them! 931 00:51:02,266 --> 00:51:04,656 You get up there and you take this tournament. You take what's yours. 932 00:51:05,055 --> 00:51:08,281 You have a long walk to make up there to excellence unfortunately... 933 00:51:08,414 --> 00:51:10,525 it is all the way up there... 934 00:51:10,601 --> 00:51:13,856 [Proctor] That is correct. [Pete] Next up is Joyce Sacks. 935 00:51:13,984 --> 00:51:15,184 - [Proctor] She's from... - [Joyce] ?? 936 00:51:15,218 --> 00:51:17,320 I know, I know. God so many people watching... 937 00:51:17,391 --> 00:51:19,306 and I don't have so much as a sweatshirt to give you... 938 00:51:19,359 --> 00:51:21,976 but I don't so instead I want you to just keep thinking... 939 00:51:22,022 --> 00:51:23,586 these are not light pants... 940 00:51:23,633 --> 00:51:26,398 these are not light pants. You just keep saying that to yourself. 941 00:51:26,483 --> 00:51:28,670 Competitor 1124. 942 00:51:28,718 --> 00:51:30,841 That's you. These are not light pants. 943 00:51:31,934 --> 00:51:34,118 Competitor 1124. 944 00:51:35,644 --> 00:51:37,395 [Proctor] 1124. 945 00:51:37,504 --> 00:51:40,813 Clearly we have a case of stage fright brewing in the back row. 946 00:51:40,867 --> 00:51:42,367 [Joyce's mother] Sweetheart?! 947 00:51:43,438 --> 00:51:45,546 - Sweetheart. - Momma I can't. 948 00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:47,891 Oh baby girl. 949 00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:49,785 - I can't do it. - I don't blame you. 950 00:51:49,848 --> 00:51:50,773 Looks like a super heavy flow. 951 00:51:50,820 --> 00:51:55,629 Competitor 1124, you must make your way to the microphone now... 952 00:51:55,972 --> 00:51:57,472 or be disqualified. 953 00:51:57,557 --> 00:51:59,718 Why don't you try and do like a hop scoot with your chair... 954 00:51:59,761 --> 00:52:01,209 just grab both sides of it and you just kind of.... 955 00:52:01,256 --> 00:52:02,759 I can't do this. 956 00:52:02,802 --> 00:52:04,962 [Guy] She's gone. There she goes. 957 00:52:05,113 --> 00:52:06,613 She made it this far though. 958 00:52:06,617 --> 00:52:09,556 [Pete] Clearly the pressure was just too much for her... 959 00:52:09,627 --> 00:52:10,627 I hope she ?? 960 00:52:10,631 --> 00:52:15,169 Yes well the tournament does create a natural selection does it not? 961 00:52:15,289 --> 00:52:19,114 Pruning of the weak. Allowing the strong to blossom. 962 00:52:19,195 --> 00:52:20,605 [Guy] So tough, it's tough. 963 00:52:20,693 --> 00:52:22,193 Reach for the sky. 964 00:52:22,234 --> 00:52:23,734 She'll be good. 965 00:52:25,585 --> 00:52:27,230 Oh dear. 966 00:52:30,199 --> 00:52:31,875 Is that my word? That's two words. 967 00:52:32,843 --> 00:52:34,343 Um... 968 00:52:35,464 --> 00:52:37,464 Is that my word or are you guessing at the "ums"? 969 00:52:38,321 --> 00:52:39,821 What's going on? 970 00:52:45,344 --> 00:52:50,266 Floccinaucinihilipilification. 971 00:52:52,346 --> 00:52:56,023 [Announcer] Good gracious, that word is longer than most sentences. 972 00:52:56,553 --> 00:52:58,667 Can you repeat it one more time, please. 973 00:52:58,852 --> 00:53:00,375 Floccinaucini... 974 00:53:00,438 --> 00:53:02,391 [Dr. Bowen] As a professor of linguistics... 975 00:53:02,510 --> 00:53:04,576 I can tell you with the utmost confidence... 976 00:53:04,633 --> 00:53:09,742 that a true orthographic enthusiast, wouldn't flinch at such a challenge. 977 00:53:12,523 --> 00:53:14,087 F-L-O 978 00:53:14,273 --> 00:53:16,287 C-C 979 00:53:17,277 --> 00:53:20,258 I-N-A-U 980 00:53:21,864 --> 00:53:25,247 C-I-N-I 981 00:53:25,379 --> 00:53:28,102 H-I-L-I 982 00:53:28,757 --> 00:53:30,478 P-I 983 00:53:31,186 --> 00:53:35,850 L-I-F-I-C-A-T-I-O-N 984 00:53:39,164 --> 00:53:40,697 Correct! 985 00:53:50,155 --> 00:53:51,655 Nougat. 986 00:53:52,077 --> 00:53:56,013 N-O-U-G-A-T 987 00:53:56,130 --> 00:53:57,230 Incriminate. 988 00:53:57,267 --> 00:54:06,441 [Contest continues with some being eliminated] 989 00:54:06,549 --> 00:54:09,037 [Proctor] Antidisestablishmentarianism 990 00:54:09,126 --> 00:54:22,446 A-N-T-I [continues spelling correctly] 991 00:54:22,513 --> 00:54:23,613 [Proctor] Correct. 992 00:54:23,632 --> 00:54:30,209 [Contest continues] 993 00:54:30,413 --> 00:54:31,813 Pertinacious. 994 00:54:31,839 --> 00:54:37,472 P-E-R-T-I-N-A-C-I-O-U-S 995 00:54:37,573 --> 00:54:38,773 Correct. 996 00:54:38,784 --> 00:54:42,206 [Contest continues] 997 00:54:42,463 --> 00:54:44,729 Immunoelectrophoresis. 998 00:54:45,393 --> 00:54:52,580 I-M-M-U-N-O-E-L-E-C-T-R-O-P-H-O-R-E-S-I-S 999 00:54:52,766 --> 00:54:54,403 That is correct. 1000 00:54:56,997 --> 00:55:00,276 [Bernice] Obviously I'm not going to resign, that would leave the bee...[fades] 1001 00:55:00,393 --> 00:55:02,154 [Crowd noise of angry parents] 1002 00:55:02,234 --> 00:55:04,599 [Bernice] Please, I know what I said. 1003 00:55:04,687 --> 00:55:07,429 [Crowd and Bernice indistinguishable] 1004 00:55:07,523 --> 00:55:10,237 [Bernice] Yes I'm the most qualified person in this position. 1005 00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:11,422 [Proctor] Pardon me. 1006 00:55:11,477 --> 00:55:12,071 Yes! 1007 00:55:12,202 --> 00:55:15,780 We just completed the standard competition review. 1008 00:55:16,021 --> 00:55:18,271 Guy Trilby didn't get those words by accident. 1009 00:55:18,579 --> 00:55:19,779 It appears... 1010 00:55:19,811 --> 00:55:21,211 the randomized word list was... 1011 00:55:21,218 --> 00:55:23,566 purposefully manipulated by you. 1012 00:55:27,717 --> 00:55:29,672 You tampered with this. 1013 00:55:30,195 --> 00:55:33,999 And I in good conscience cannot allow such an abuse of your position... 1014 00:55:34,132 --> 00:55:35,647 to go unnoticed. 1015 00:55:38,625 --> 00:55:40,465 And it didn't even stop him. 1016 00:55:40,664 --> 00:55:43,739 True, but that's not really the point now is it! 1017 00:55:44,265 --> 00:55:48,190 He may be unlikable but he's a contestant all the same. 1018 00:55:48,807 --> 00:55:53,375 And all contestants deserve a fair chance. 1019 00:55:56,547 --> 00:56:00,246 And it didn't even stop him. God damn it! 1020 00:56:00,957 --> 00:56:02,785 You're done. 1021 00:56:03,465 --> 00:56:06,578 Did I enunciate that clearly enough? 1022 00:56:06,617 --> 00:56:21,412 [Angry parents arguing indistinctly] 1023 00:56:23,139 --> 00:56:24,639 [Desk clerk] Mr. Trilby. 1024 00:56:25,172 --> 00:56:26,672 You have a message. 1025 00:56:28,633 --> 00:56:30,144 Thank you. 1026 00:56:38,491 --> 00:56:40,070 You have a duck pond, huh? 1027 00:56:46,835 --> 00:56:48,907 Did you want to see me, Dr. Bowman? 1028 00:56:49,187 --> 00:56:50,990 Yes I do Mr. Trilby. 1029 00:56:53,633 --> 00:56:55,133 You like ducks? 1030 00:56:56,937 --> 00:56:58,675 They're okay on a plate. 1031 00:57:00,453 --> 00:57:03,664 You know I uh, I got offered quite a bit... 1032 00:57:03,711 --> 00:57:05,011 when I was younger. 1033 00:57:05,046 --> 00:57:09,560 I stirred life’s cocktail very vigorously if you will. 1034 00:57:10,047 --> 00:57:12,538 I'd venture to say that more than once... 1035 00:57:12,976 --> 00:57:15,329 I found myself on the precipice of... 1036 00:57:15,633 --> 00:57:19,391 making a life altering mistake. 1037 00:57:21,601 --> 00:57:23,101 Each time... 1038 00:57:23,484 --> 00:57:26,065 with no parental guidance whatsoever... 1039 00:57:26,139 --> 00:57:27,984 I was able to carefully... 1040 00:57:29,911 --> 00:57:32,672 backup, turn around, walk away. 1041 00:57:34,555 --> 00:57:36,055 Here I am today... 1042 00:57:37,851 --> 00:57:40,056 I have peoples respect, I have their admiration. 1043 00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:44,106 I have control over one of the most respected institutions in the country. 1044 00:57:44,514 --> 00:57:47,465 Had I not been able to identify an approaching abyss... 1045 00:57:47,765 --> 00:57:50,531 I'd be in a very different position today. 1046 00:57:52,281 --> 00:57:55,246 Mr Trilby. I don't know, I don't even care... 1047 00:57:55,468 --> 00:57:58,602 why you've chosen to place yourself on this edge. 1048 00:58:00,102 --> 00:58:02,094 But I can assure you... 1049 00:58:03,539 --> 00:58:05,862 take one step further... 1050 00:58:05,937 --> 00:58:07,898 your life will become even more challenging... 1051 00:58:08,390 --> 00:58:10,852 than I'm sure it already is. 1052 00:58:15,773 --> 00:58:17,273 A nice threat. 1053 00:58:17,367 --> 00:58:18,867 Is that what that is? 1054 00:58:20,086 --> 00:58:21,846 It's a safe prediction. 1055 00:58:22,179 --> 00:58:23,909 Losers lose, Mr. Trilby. 1056 00:58:24,758 --> 00:58:26,783 And that's what I am huh? 1057 00:58:26,826 --> 00:58:28,712 Is that what I am, a loser? 1058 00:58:29,621 --> 00:58:31,680 Well I uh... if you... 1059 00:58:31,789 --> 00:58:34,338 quack like them and you walk like them... 1060 00:58:34,930 --> 00:58:36,430 where would you be? 1061 00:58:38,453 --> 00:58:39,953 That's cute. 1062 00:58:45,668 --> 00:58:47,584 Well just so you know, I didn't come here to lose. 1063 00:58:47,648 --> 00:58:49,148 And I'm not gonna. 1064 00:58:51,289 --> 00:58:54,044 In the game I'm playing I'm way ahead right now. 1065 00:58:55,859 --> 00:58:58,330 Whether you know it or not, so... 1066 00:59:06,124 --> 00:59:07,624 Thanks for the checkup. 1067 00:59:17,625 --> 00:59:19,125 Good, Guy! 1068 00:59:19,133 --> 00:59:21,452 Do you have a minute, cause I have that thing... 1069 00:59:21,495 --> 00:59:21,921 No. 1070 00:59:21,964 --> 00:59:24,161 - that I need to discuss with you. - Sorry. 1071 00:59:25,382 --> 00:59:27,314 I'm kinda done with today. I'm just gonna... 1072 00:59:27,683 --> 00:59:31,108 drop this gift off to the kid then I'm gonna hit the sack. 1073 00:59:31,233 --> 00:59:32,641 Aw you bought him a present? 1074 00:59:32,711 --> 00:59:35,062 Has the grinch found his Cindy Lou Hoo. 1075 00:59:35,344 --> 00:59:36,352 That's from Dr. Seuss. 1076 00:59:36,406 --> 00:59:38,820 I get it. No, this is just uh... 1077 00:59:39,179 --> 00:59:40,928 a little bit of porn and some ice-cream. 1078 00:59:40,971 --> 00:59:42,371 Ah, Santa would be proud. 1079 00:59:42,408 --> 00:59:43,354 Can I get in please? 1080 00:59:43,397 --> 00:59:44,405 C'mon get a drink with me. 1081 00:59:44,460 --> 00:59:44,777 No. 1082 00:59:44,839 --> 00:59:46,515 - This is important. - I'll bet it's not. 1083 00:59:48,616 --> 00:59:51,254 You know when somebody you're sleeping with says they'd like to speak with you... 1084 00:59:51,325 --> 00:59:53,310 the least you could do is fake it. 1085 00:59:53,746 --> 00:59:56,886 Well, what, did I just wake up ten years later... 1086 00:59:56,929 --> 00:59:58,429 are we married? 1087 00:59:58,461 --> 00:59:59,961 Please. 1088 01:00:07,469 --> 01:00:10,563 Don't flatter yourself. I had something important to talk to you about. 1089 01:00:11,879 --> 01:00:14,109 - Prick! - Sorry. 1090 01:00:17,379 --> 01:00:19,887 - Good night. - Little fucking prick. 1091 01:00:28,031 --> 01:00:31,742 [Chaitanya's dad muffled talking] 1092 01:00:31,875 --> 01:00:33,430 [Chaitanya] Dad, it's not fair. 1093 01:00:33,492 --> 01:00:35,479 He took me around to see the sites last night. 1094 01:00:35,565 --> 01:00:37,354 Something that you've never done by the way. 1095 01:00:37,410 --> 01:00:39,801 Chaita, stay focused. 1096 01:00:40,179 --> 01:00:42,123 This man is your enemy. 1097 01:00:42,484 --> 01:00:44,694 Keep him close, but don't forget that. 1098 01:00:44,803 --> 01:00:48,260 Remember Donnie Brasco. Do you want to win? 1099 01:00:49,569 --> 01:00:50,869 Do you?! 1100 01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:51,968 Yes. 1101 01:00:52,023 --> 01:00:53,699 Then keep him best friends... 1102 01:00:53,773 --> 01:00:56,020 so that he can't bear to beat you. 1103 01:00:56,882 --> 01:00:58,697 Dad I know the plan. 1104 01:01:00,742 --> 01:01:02,242 Hey! 1105 01:01:02,523 --> 01:01:04,023 Hey. 1106 01:01:05,335 --> 01:01:07,404 You're pretending to be my friend just to try to win?! 1107 01:01:07,464 --> 01:01:08,764 What? No, no! 1108 01:01:08,835 --> 01:01:13,548 No, no? I just heard you and your dad talking just outside the door there. 1109 01:01:14,117 --> 01:01:15,234 Let's all relax. 1110 01:01:15,277 --> 01:01:17,670 Eat shit buddy. I'll hit you in the face, okay. 1111 01:01:17,749 --> 01:01:19,922 You little fuck. I can't believe I was your goddamn mark. 1112 01:01:19,965 --> 01:01:21,169 It was my dad's idea, okay. 1113 01:01:21,212 --> 01:01:23,389 No way, it wasn't. You're a little liar. 1114 01:01:23,445 --> 01:01:25,289 - He thought you were the biggest threat. - Great. 1115 01:01:25,332 --> 01:01:26,832 - And you were. - Yep. 1116 01:01:28,831 --> 01:01:30,606 Dad I really like him. 1117 01:01:30,711 --> 01:01:32,420 You make me sick, you know that. 1118 01:01:32,468 --> 01:01:35,780 I'm not doing the plan anymore. I'm just being friends. 1119 01:01:35,851 --> 01:01:37,734 - Because we are now. - No we're not. 1120 01:01:37,777 --> 01:01:39,177 I didn't know we would be. 1121 01:01:39,180 --> 01:01:40,827 Really? I thought winning wasn't everything. 1122 01:01:40,902 --> 01:01:42,499 It isn't everything, not now. 1123 01:01:42,569 --> 01:01:44,532 Sure sounds like it. You're a liar. 1124 01:01:44,609 --> 01:01:47,320 Guy, you showed me my first boobs. 1125 01:01:49,742 --> 01:01:51,834 - What did he say? - Another lie. 1126 01:01:51,999 --> 01:01:53,499 He's a lying machine. 1127 01:01:53,740 --> 01:01:55,656 Guy please! 1128 01:01:55,703 --> 01:01:56,532 Please what? 1129 01:01:56,575 --> 01:01:59,005 My dad will be so disappointed in me if I lose. 1130 01:01:59,336 --> 01:02:00,836 I don't want that. 1131 01:02:00,929 --> 01:02:02,229 Well tough shit. 1132 01:02:02,266 --> 01:02:04,290 I guess you're just gonna have to try and beat me now, huh. 1133 01:02:05,163 --> 01:02:06,663 And you can have this back. 1134 01:02:50,289 --> 01:02:51,189 Hello? 1135 01:02:51,223 --> 01:02:53,598 Hi Chaitanya this is Ingrid at the front desk... 1136 01:02:53,641 --> 01:02:55,592 your father just called to say he's driving by... 1137 01:02:55,635 --> 01:02:59,135 and if you can be in the lobby in one minute, he'll take you for ice-cream. 1138 01:02:59,219 --> 01:03:00,719 Really? 1139 01:04:09,272 --> 01:04:10,772 GUY!!! 1140 01:04:13,914 --> 01:04:15,515 GUY!!! 1141 01:04:39,334 --> 01:04:40,534 [On phone]Los Angeles 911. 1142 01:04:40,603 --> 01:04:41,299 Hello? 1143 01:04:41,359 --> 01:04:43,775 - Is this an emergency? - Yes this is an emergency. 1144 01:04:43,845 --> 01:04:45,616 What is the nature of your emergency? 1145 01:04:45,686 --> 01:04:48,195 Please send the police to the Sportsmen's Lodge hotel right away. 1146 01:04:48,289 --> 01:04:49,389 What's the problem? 1147 01:04:49,398 --> 01:04:51,801 I just saw a man drag a teenager into his room. 1148 01:04:51,844 --> 01:04:53,344 And she was screaming for help. 1149 01:04:53,460 --> 01:04:56,320 But as soon as the door shut, the screaming suddenly stopped. 1150 01:04:57,484 --> 01:04:59,079 LAPD, open up! 1151 01:05:10,350 --> 01:05:12,779 What are you trying to do to me you little bitch. 1152 01:05:12,822 --> 01:05:14,322 He's still got her in there. 1153 01:05:14,445 --> 01:05:15,945 Open up now! 1154 01:05:18,273 --> 01:05:19,797 Hold your tits. 1155 01:05:20,023 --> 01:05:21,640 I'm coming. 1156 01:05:21,952 --> 01:05:24,231 Shit, get in there now! Break the door. 1157 01:05:26,576 --> 01:05:28,076 [Guy] Ow! 1158 01:05:30,836 --> 01:05:32,336 Little bastard! 1159 01:05:32,351 --> 01:05:34,012 Well at least they didn't press charges. 1160 01:05:34,055 --> 01:05:37,106 I'll be pressing the fucking charges. It almost broke my goddamn face. 1161 01:05:37,158 --> 01:05:38,576 Guy I've gotta talk to you about something. 1162 01:05:38,619 --> 01:05:40,133 I don't care how much of an asshole you are to me... 1163 01:05:40,176 --> 01:05:41,676 I'm getting it said right now. 1164 01:05:42,914 --> 01:05:45,478 I've been doing some digging... would you stop walking for one second! 1165 01:05:45,764 --> 01:05:47,797 Jesus Christ I'm kind of all you have. 1166 01:05:48,206 --> 01:05:49,776 We can't walk and talk! 1167 01:05:51,953 --> 01:05:53,453 What's wrong? 1168 01:05:54,749 --> 01:05:56,859 I found out who your father is. 1169 01:05:58,249 --> 01:05:59,749 Oh, okay. 1170 01:06:02,648 --> 01:06:03,500 Good for you. 1171 01:06:03,546 --> 01:06:05,426 I guess you're not as bad a reporter as I thought you were. 1172 01:06:05,475 --> 01:06:07,591 Took you a while though, don't you think? 1173 01:06:08,078 --> 01:06:09,736 It was right there. 1174 01:06:16,712 --> 01:06:18,484 So that's what you're up to? 1175 01:06:19,531 --> 01:06:21,031 Yep. 1176 01:06:24,975 --> 01:06:28,008 Couple months ago the day my mom died she finally told me who he was... 1177 01:06:28,301 --> 01:06:30,172 and where he was and.. 1178 01:06:30,890 --> 01:06:32,390 and um... 1179 01:06:36,188 --> 01:06:38,766 Just pissed me off, obviously, so... 1180 01:06:39,857 --> 01:06:41,771 Here I am. 1181 01:06:46,789 --> 01:06:49,703 He was just a traveling encyclopedia salesman and... 1182 01:06:49,742 --> 01:06:51,576 she was a waitress... 1183 01:06:51,678 --> 01:06:53,829 at a diner. And they... 1184 01:06:54,750 --> 01:06:58,172 She got pregnant and she told him and he took off. 1185 01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:01,250 That's it he never returned? 1186 01:07:01,820 --> 01:07:03,320 Nope. 1187 01:07:03,414 --> 01:07:05,849 - He never called? - Nothing. 1188 01:07:08,245 --> 01:07:09,891 So he has no idea who you are!? 1189 01:07:10,292 --> 01:07:13,438 He has no clue. But he will. 1190 01:07:15,680 --> 01:07:18,938 As soon as I'm done embarrassing him and his precious spelling bee, Bill Bowman... 1191 01:07:19,356 --> 01:07:21,934 will never forget who I am. 1192 01:07:22,664 --> 01:07:25,049 And I think that is just the bare minimum... 1193 01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:27,756 that a son can expect from his father, don't you? 1194 01:07:35,601 --> 01:07:38,008 Well, good digging. 1195 01:07:39,163 --> 01:07:41,133 - Did you park up here? - Uh huh. 1196 01:07:44,906 --> 01:07:47,256 [Pete] Dr. Bowman, I know that Director Deagans resignation... 1197 01:07:47,327 --> 01:07:50,193 was as difficult for you as it was for her. Your thoughts? 1198 01:07:50,603 --> 01:07:53,001 She served this tournament well for many years. 1199 01:07:53,919 --> 01:07:56,716 It's a tragedy that the frayed integrity of this year's tournament... 1200 01:07:56,946 --> 01:07:59,031 has touched her post as well. 1201 01:07:59,319 --> 01:08:02,477 I hope we can finish up now without anymore casualties. 1202 01:08:02,819 --> 01:08:04,476 Profoundly stated. 1203 01:08:04,695 --> 01:08:07,445 Now, let's begin this, the final round. 1204 01:08:07,809 --> 01:08:09,867 Ten competitors remain... 1205 01:08:11,527 --> 01:08:14,422 First up. Eric Tai from Sorwood Wisconsin. 1206 01:08:14,602 --> 01:08:16,883 I'm gonna bust your nut. 1207 01:08:17,180 --> 01:08:19,375 I'm gonna fucking end you. 1208 01:08:24,939 --> 01:08:26,439 Inchoate. 1209 01:08:26,992 --> 01:08:28,492 Inchoate. 1210 01:08:28,991 --> 01:08:30,930 Can I have the definition please. 1211 01:08:31,431 --> 01:08:33,963 Not yet completely or fully developed. [Continues in background] 1212 01:08:34,127 --> 01:08:35,947 [Guy Narrating] The closer I got to the end... 1213 01:08:35,994 --> 01:08:37,877 the more I thought about the goal. 1214 01:08:38,623 --> 01:08:40,859 and the more I thought about the win. 1215 01:08:40,904 --> 01:08:45,547 [Contestant] I-NC-H-O-A-T-E. Inchoate. 1216 01:08:45,840 --> 01:08:47,340 That is correct. 1217 01:08:49,289 --> 01:08:53,157 [Pete]And once again Chaitanya Chopra approaches the microphone. 1218 01:08:53,267 --> 01:08:57,227 He was here last year and hopes to bring it all the way to the finish line this year. 1219 01:08:57,442 --> 01:08:59,445 Well he has company on that hope. 1220 01:08:59,867 --> 01:09:01,167 [Proctor] Tmesis. 1221 01:09:01,236 --> 01:09:02,736 Tmesis. 1222 01:09:03,296 --> 01:09:04,496 Definition? 1223 01:09:04,574 --> 01:09:08,815 In grammar and rhetoric, the separation of the parts of a compound word... 1224 01:09:08,917 --> 01:09:11,031 now generally done for humorous effect... 1225 01:09:11,455 --> 01:09:14,445 for example "abso-bloody-lutely". 1226 01:09:16,071 --> 01:09:18,649 Is the origin from the Greek "a cutting" ? 1227 01:09:19,082 --> 01:09:20,382 Yes. 1228 01:09:20,435 --> 01:09:21,935 Tmesis. 1229 01:09:23,079 --> 01:09:24,647 T- 1230 01:09:26,546 --> 01:09:30,333 M-E-S-I-S Tmesis. 1231 01:09:30,404 --> 01:09:31,904 That is correct. 1232 01:09:38,567 --> 01:09:39,867 [Proctor] Quiet in the audience. 1233 01:09:39,897 --> 01:09:42,628 [Pete] Mr. Trilby has certainly received his fair share of booing... 1234 01:09:42,671 --> 01:09:44,171 at this year's tournament. 1235 01:09:44,485 --> 01:09:48,578 - Yes another of this years firsts. - [Proctor] Thank you. Continuing... 1236 01:09:52,991 --> 01:09:54,868 Slubberdegullion. 1237 01:09:55,454 --> 01:09:57,796 - Slubberdegullion? - Slubberdegullion! 1238 01:09:59,008 --> 01:10:00,508 - [Eric's mother] Perfect! - [Guy] S... 1239 01:10:00,521 --> 01:10:01,922 I know the definition of that. 1240 01:10:02,016 --> 01:10:03,594 A dirty, wretched slob. 1241 01:10:05,187 --> 01:10:06,687 Just like you sir. 1242 01:10:06,835 --> 01:10:08,906 - Was I supposed to hear that? - Yes, you were. 1243 01:10:08,945 --> 01:10:11,367 - Cause that's what you are. - [Proctor] Madam, please. 1244 01:10:11,414 --> 01:10:13,502 or I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 1245 01:10:13,549 --> 01:10:15,336 You're gonna have to ask me to leave?! 1246 01:10:15,625 --> 01:10:17,994 I think you should ask him to leave, huh?! 1247 01:10:18,072 --> 01:10:19,981 [Guy] Take it easy. [Announcer] Gentlemen, please. 1248 01:10:20,045 --> 01:10:22,749 - You're telling me to take it easy?! - Yeah, we're trying to have a spelling bee. 1249 01:10:22,805 --> 01:10:24,444 - Okay you're here come the cops. - Ma’am, please. 1250 01:10:24,499 --> 01:10:28,423 No, no, no. He called my baby boy a "cock sucker"... 1251 01:10:28,521 --> 01:10:31,548 and I will not repeat what he said to me about my vagina. 1252 01:10:31,595 --> 01:10:33,025 Ma’am now say goodbye. 1253 01:10:33,068 --> 01:10:35,224 Nope, I'm not going. You'll have to carry me out. 1254 01:10:35,287 --> 01:10:36,687 Nope I'm gonna just sit here. 1255 01:10:36,727 --> 01:10:40,628 I'm gonna stay here and you're gonna have to work for it you cock suckers. 1256 01:10:40,690 --> 01:10:44,802 Because I have a beautiful, young, fully elasticized vagina. 1257 01:10:44,850 --> 01:10:47,837 ?? cock sucker 1258 01:10:47,931 --> 01:10:49,542 Don't take me, take him! 1259 01:10:49,585 --> 01:10:53,549 Well here's hoping that the guys on the truck found the 7 second button. 1260 01:10:53,592 --> 01:10:59,035 - [Audience chanting] Take him out! 1261 01:10:59,078 --> 01:11:01,994 [Dr. Bowman] That's enough! That is enough! 1262 01:11:04,250 --> 01:11:07,030 This is the Golden Quill spelling bee. 1263 01:11:08,765 --> 01:11:10,265 You're on television! 1264 01:11:10,554 --> 01:11:12,590 In millions of homes! 1265 01:11:14,664 --> 01:11:16,813 Show some respect for the tournament. 1266 01:11:21,859 --> 01:11:23,359 And for me! 1267 01:11:36,857 --> 01:11:39,719 I believe the word was Slubberdegullion. 1268 01:11:39,852 --> 01:11:42,453 [Proctor] That's correct. Slubberdegullion. 1269 01:11:45,412 --> 01:11:47,771 S-L-U-B-B-E-R 1270 01:11:47,929 --> 01:11:51,139 D-E-G-U-L-L-I-O-N 1271 01:11:52,015 --> 01:11:53,515 That is correct. 1272 01:12:02,491 --> 01:12:05,218 [Guy Narrating] With the humiliation part taken care of... 1273 01:12:05,261 --> 01:12:07,968 and the favorite child all but killed... 1274 01:12:08,621 --> 01:12:10,961 Maybe I already had my win. 1275 01:12:11,264 --> 01:12:12,819 [Pete]...Eric Tai. 1276 01:12:19,077 --> 01:12:21,812 - [Proctor] Kophobia. - Kophobia. 1277 01:12:22,616 --> 01:12:24,258 Can I have the definition, please. 1278 01:12:24,555 --> 01:12:26,071 Fear of exhaustion... 1279 01:12:26,226 --> 01:12:28,925 otherwise known as "Lexicographer's Curse". 1280 01:12:30,461 --> 01:12:33,550 Is it derived from the Greek "kopo " meaning fatigue? 1281 01:12:33,698 --> 01:12:35,339 [Proctor] Yes. 1282 01:12:36,825 --> 01:12:40,859 K-O-P-O-P-O-B-I-A 1283 01:12:41,430 --> 01:12:42,930 [Eric] No! 1284 01:12:44,131 --> 01:12:47,023 Oh my. Eric knew that he left out the "H". 1285 01:12:47,124 --> 01:12:50,281 It's been a long day and clearly it's taken it's toll on Eric. 1286 01:12:51,236 --> 01:12:54,673 Well, well. I think you're gonna like this! 1287 01:12:55,407 --> 01:12:59,186 We're on the verge of history here with 40 year old Guy Trilby... 1288 01:12:59,257 --> 01:13:00,811 in the final two. 1289 01:13:02,163 --> 01:13:03,783 [Proctor] Parisology. 1290 01:13:04,811 --> 01:13:06,599 Parisology. 1291 01:13:13,664 --> 01:13:16,789 P-A-R-I 1292 01:13:16,828 --> 01:13:20,328 S-O-L-O 1293 01:13:21,422 --> 01:13:23,180 G 1294 01:13:27,788 --> 01:13:29,288 I-E 1295 01:13:33,172 --> 01:13:36,012 [Pete] Goodness me. What a dramatic turn of events here. 1296 01:13:36,086 --> 01:13:38,215 [Dr. Bowman] Yes. Yes indeed! 1297 01:13:40,430 --> 01:13:42,624 Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Quiet! 1298 01:13:42,703 --> 01:13:46,299 The rules dictate, thank you, quiet please... 1299 01:13:46,463 --> 01:13:49,831 The rules dictate that because he's one of the final two... 1300 01:13:49,878 --> 01:13:54,838 he remains on stage until his opponent correctly spells the next word. 1301 01:13:57,070 --> 01:14:00,313 I'm finished here. You take it, it's all yours. 1302 01:14:00,375 --> 01:14:02,582 [Proctor] Contestant 157. 1303 01:14:12,337 --> 01:14:19,594 Mr. Chopra, you are one word away from being the new Golden Quill champion. 1304 01:14:21,609 --> 01:14:23,914 Infinitesimally. 1305 01:14:24,773 --> 01:14:26,713 Infinitesimally. 1306 01:14:27,304 --> 01:14:28,993 Can I have the definition? 1307 01:14:29,204 --> 01:14:32,610 Yes. Exceedingly small. 1308 01:14:33,444 --> 01:14:35,158 Infinitesimally. 1309 01:14:35,914 --> 01:14:43,133 I-N-F-I-N-I-T-E-S-I-M-A-L... 1310 01:14:51,603 --> 01:14:53,103 Y 1311 01:14:54,195 --> 01:14:56,789 Oh no. Hey! 1312 01:14:56,906 --> 01:14:59,341 - [Pete] Oh my. - I can't believe it. 1313 01:14:59,726 --> 01:15:00,846 [Dr. Bowman] Not again. 1314 01:15:00,963 --> 01:15:02,416 - [Dr. Bowman] I don't believe it. 1315 01:15:04,747 --> 01:15:06,406 What are you doing? 1316 01:15:06,477 --> 01:15:08,000 If you think everything I said was a lie... 1317 01:15:08,047 --> 01:15:09,351 then I'll prove that it wasn't. 1318 01:15:09,394 --> 01:15:11,024 - It's not about winning here... - No, no, no, no. 1319 01:15:11,080 --> 01:15:12,798 - I don't give a shit about that. - It's about my friend. 1320 01:15:12,841 --> 01:15:15,003 And I don't care about that either, with all due respect... 1321 01:15:15,046 --> 01:15:16,246 very nice of you, very sweet... 1322 01:15:16,288 --> 01:15:18,423 but I'm not here for that and I'm not here for the fucking trophy or a check. 1323 01:15:18,466 --> 01:15:19,891 - or these idiots, c'mon. - I hurt your feelings... 1324 01:15:19,934 --> 01:15:22,637 - And I wasn't a good friend, I'm sorry. - You know what, pal we're good. 1325 01:15:24,985 --> 01:15:26,930 Okay, next. 1326 01:15:27,944 --> 01:15:29,508 Rugose. 1327 01:15:30,336 --> 01:15:31,736 R-U-G-O-S 1328 01:15:31,789 --> 01:15:34,269 Ding it. I'm finished! Let's go. 1329 01:15:34,312 --> 01:15:36,315 You're wasting my fucking time, c'mon. 1330 01:15:38,544 --> 01:15:40,169 [Proctor] Pejorative. 1331 01:15:40,617 --> 01:15:45,818 P-E-J-O-R-A-T-E-V-E Pejorative. 1332 01:15:46,578 --> 01:15:49,481 [Pete] Seems as though they're misspelling the words on purpose. 1333 01:15:49,531 --> 01:15:50,831 Can you just spell the fucking words! 1334 01:15:50,861 --> 01:15:52,559 That's all you gotta do and you got the tournament. 1335 01:15:52,602 --> 01:15:53,702 Same with you. 1336 01:15:53,708 --> 01:15:55,688 Chailanta get your shit together you dumb dick! 1337 01:15:56,590 --> 01:15:58,887 Fuck you, Guy! 1338 01:16:00,045 --> 01:16:01,858 Nice, great. 1339 01:16:03,216 --> 01:16:04,863 Dad you got a real prince here. 1340 01:16:04,914 --> 01:16:08,750 Yeah he's a liar and he's swearing. That's a good combo. Sweet. 1341 01:16:09,477 --> 01:16:10,577 One more word please. 1342 01:16:10,610 --> 01:16:14,466 I did...not...lie! Got it?! 1343 01:16:14,638 --> 01:16:17,678 I say that you did, got it! 1344 01:16:23,904 --> 01:16:27,383 [Pete] Okay. This has turned ugly. 1345 01:16:28,976 --> 01:16:30,737 You can add "violent" to the list. 1346 01:16:30,796 --> 01:16:32,843 Your boy Gandhi would be real proud. 1347 01:16:34,101 --> 01:16:36,657 And by the way, I was born... 1348 01:16:36,751 --> 01:16:38,431 in Cleveland... 1349 01:16:38,491 --> 01:16:40,227 Ohio! 1350 01:16:52,699 --> 01:16:55,504 [TV Spot] ...your voice, we share your mind. 1351 01:16:55,640 --> 01:16:59,867 We show you extraordinary programs, with extraordinary... 1352 01:17:00,203 --> 01:17:01,227 [Judges conferring inaudibly] 1353 01:17:01,273 --> 01:17:02,876 [TV Spot] for 200 million... 1354 01:17:03,243 --> 01:17:05,020 [Pete] I really don't know what to say, America. 1355 01:17:05,114 --> 01:17:06,804 Dr. Bowman is conferring with the judges... 1356 01:17:07,729 --> 01:17:09,520 ...addressing the audience. 1357 01:17:14,686 --> 01:17:16,263 [Dr. Bowman] Ladies and gentlemen... 1358 01:17:17,453 --> 01:17:19,461 boys and girls... 1359 01:17:19,805 --> 01:17:22,285 those of you at home, and in attendance. 1360 01:17:22,328 --> 01:17:25,414 I would like to extend my deepest apologies for... 1361 01:17:25,546 --> 01:17:29,617 what has devolved into an embarrassment... 1362 01:17:29,766 --> 01:17:31,509 in this years competition. 1363 01:17:32,093 --> 01:17:34,624 The Golden Quill has always enjoyed a... 1364 01:17:34,726 --> 01:17:37,703 an immaculate reputation of respectful... 1365 01:17:37,797 --> 01:17:40,531 challenging and um, dignified behavior. 1366 01:17:41,562 --> 01:17:43,062 Until now... 1367 01:17:43,230 --> 01:17:46,668 Well hopefully the end is near. Gentlemen! 1368 01:17:47,000 --> 01:17:50,764 Gentlemen, it has been decided that neither of you will be disqualified... 1369 01:17:51,037 --> 01:17:52,748 because it appears... 1370 01:17:53,188 --> 01:17:54,850 it appears that both of you... 1371 01:17:54,975 --> 01:17:57,050 have conducted yourselves equally... 1372 01:17:57,210 --> 01:17:58,802 in a shameful manner. 1373 01:17:59,107 --> 01:18:02,180 So let's get on with this contest and finish it. 1374 01:18:02,219 --> 01:18:05,195 I'm gonna ask the audience, please remain silent. 1375 01:18:05,601 --> 01:18:07,101 Thank you. 1376 01:18:09,515 --> 01:18:12,119 - And continuing... - Yep, my turn. 1377 01:18:13,999 --> 01:18:15,299 Unguent. 1378 01:18:15,327 --> 01:18:17,768 Unguent? A-N-G-U-E-N-T 1379 01:18:17,874 --> 01:18:19,374 Ding it! 1380 01:18:20,195 --> 01:18:22,201 I can do this all night. 1381 01:18:22,607 --> 01:18:24,107 Go ahead. 1382 01:18:28,046 --> 01:18:32,148 Please. Very carefully consider the word... 1383 01:18:33,101 --> 01:18:34,737 Callithump. 1384 01:18:36,910 --> 01:18:41,025 - C-A-L... - Chaitan! 1385 01:18:41,766 --> 01:18:43,766 Please don't do this to us. 1386 01:18:56,820 --> 01:18:59,414 C-A-L 1387 01:19:00,108 --> 01:19:03,525 It's the easiest word of the night. It's C-A-L-I-T-H-U-M-P 1388 01:19:03,568 --> 01:19:05,149 It's simple idiot. 1389 01:19:05,374 --> 01:19:07,905 No you're the idiot. You forgot an "L". 1390 01:19:07,984 --> 01:19:09,284 Alright. That's it! 1391 01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:12,406 That's all! You tried to help a fellow competitor cheat. 1392 01:19:12,846 --> 01:19:14,512 That is against the rules. 1393 01:19:14,671 --> 01:19:16,645 Sir, you are disqualified! 1394 01:19:17,125 --> 01:19:18,225 Doesn't matter. 1395 01:19:18,281 --> 01:19:20,859 I misspelled it... 1396 01:19:21,358 --> 01:19:23,757 he corrected me. 1397 01:19:25,769 --> 01:19:27,529 [Proctor] Which means... 1398 01:19:27,572 --> 01:19:30,318 even though you tried to help him cheat... 1399 01:19:30,568 --> 01:19:32,068 he wasn't cheating... 1400 01:19:32,368 --> 01:19:37,122 and ended up, technically spelling the word correctly on his own. 1401 01:19:38,074 --> 01:19:41,370 So, he is the new champion! 1402 01:19:44,533 --> 01:19:45,990 - [Announcer] Correct. - [Chaitanya] No, Guy! 1403 01:19:46,033 --> 01:19:47,588 Guy, you tricked me. 1404 01:19:48,059 --> 01:19:49,059 No, Guy! 1405 01:19:49,109 --> 01:19:50,734 Chaiwalla go hug your chai-papa. 1406 01:19:50,788 --> 01:19:52,343 No that's not fair! 1407 01:19:54,086 --> 01:19:56,451 [Dr. Bowman] Here's your trophy Chaitanya, congratulations. 1408 01:19:56,551 --> 01:19:57,451 Guy! 1409 01:19:57,515 --> 01:20:00,680 And here's your check for fifty thousand dollars. 1410 01:20:08,094 --> 01:20:09,422 - I guess that worked, huh. - [Announcer] Chaitanya, you are our... 1411 01:20:09,484 --> 01:20:10,984 new champion, how does that feel? 1412 01:20:11,340 --> 01:20:13,220 [Chaitanya] I don't consider myself a champion... 1413 01:20:13,263 --> 01:20:15,510 I consider myself a co-champion with Guy. 1414 01:20:15,632 --> 01:20:17,132 Guy! 1415 01:20:19,472 --> 01:20:22,074 It was totally unfair to disqualify you. 1416 01:20:22,626 --> 01:20:25,767 This is yours too. You let me win. 1417 01:20:28,784 --> 01:20:31,089 And I wanna give you half. 1418 01:20:31,784 --> 01:20:34,258 Plus, we'll split things. 1419 01:20:37,601 --> 01:20:39,223 Right? 1420 01:21:13,313 --> 01:21:15,752 [Guy narrating] I don't know if I should have done things differently. 1421 01:21:16,176 --> 01:21:19,664 Like I said, I'm not good at a lot of things. 1422 01:21:22,601 --> 01:21:24,601 Maybe there should have been a screaming match. 1423 01:21:27,531 --> 01:21:29,031 Or fight. 1424 01:21:30,000 --> 01:21:31,694 Maybe some tears. 1425 01:21:38,477 --> 01:21:40,789 But I guess I just wanna move on. 1426 01:21:43,172 --> 01:21:45,240 And let you do the same. 1427 01:21:53,445 --> 01:21:55,093 What's done is done. 1428 01:21:56,554 --> 01:21:58,193 I can't change what happened. 1429 01:22:01,460 --> 01:22:03,199 All I can do... 1430 01:22:04,694 --> 01:22:06,544 all I wanna do... 1431 01:22:12,382 --> 01:22:14,813 Is leave you with this apology. 1432 01:22:16,038 --> 01:22:17,699 This note. 1433 01:22:19,219 --> 01:22:22,507 Which started with me telling you my feelings were hurt. 1434 01:22:27,055 --> 01:22:29,503 What the hell can you possibly write... 1435 01:22:29,632 --> 01:22:32,359 that I would be interested in reading!? 1436 01:22:35,632 --> 01:22:38,702 There was a bit in there about me being your son. 1437 01:23:25,804 --> 01:23:28,453 [Guy narrating]And as much as I'd like to hurt your feelings... 1438 01:23:29,421 --> 01:23:31,223 and call you names... 1439 01:23:31,772 --> 01:23:33,308 they're just words... 1440 01:23:33,730 --> 01:23:35,230 and it wouldn't change a thing. 1441 01:23:37,008 --> 01:23:38,779 That's not what this note was for. 1442 01:23:44,539 --> 01:23:47,382 Hopefully it has explained why I did what I did. 1443 01:23:48,606 --> 01:23:51,130 And maybe even have you understand. 1444 01:23:52,640 --> 01:23:54,812 If not, that's fine. 1445 01:23:59,843 --> 01:24:01,679 Yours literally... 1446 01:24:01,898 --> 01:24:03,398 Guy Trilby. 1447 01:24:19,164 --> 01:24:21,402 - Hey spelling nerd. - Yes? 1448 01:24:21,445 --> 01:24:24,315 - Can you spell "douche bag"? - Of course. 1449 01:24:26,843 --> 01:24:30,497 - How do you spell "pick up your books"? - That's a sentence! 1450 01:24:39,436 --> 01:24:41,063 Hey slum-dog. 1451 01:24:43,502 --> 01:24:44,313 Wow! 1452 01:24:44,356 --> 01:24:46,071 Right! Get over here! 1453 01:24:51,859 --> 01:24:53,259 Where'd you get this? 1454 01:24:53,263 --> 01:24:55,345 I got this old police car at an auction... 1455 01:24:55,430 --> 01:24:57,720 with my half of your winnings. So thank you very much. 1456 01:24:57,763 --> 01:25:00,885 you got me two cars in one month. You're a nice guy. 1457 01:25:01,015 --> 01:25:02,594 Now to pay you back... 1458 01:25:03,570 --> 01:25:05,438 how about we go chase some bad guys. 1459 01:25:05,730 --> 01:25:07,230 Love too! 1460 01:25:13,286 --> 01:25:15,059 We're coming to get you! 1461 01:25:18,726 --> 01:25:20,415 [Chaitanya] Get the bad guys! 1462 01:25:22,867 --> 01:25:26,367 Subtitles by JoeShmoe.