1
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,630
(BED SQUEAKING)
2
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,858
Is he asleep yet?
3
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,607
Yeah, I'll go put him to bed.
4
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,068
(SIGHS)
5
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:11,038
R. Kelly always does the trick.
6
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,167
I think Evan may be
developing a rash.
7
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,498
You know, when you rub
the Aquaphor on his tush,
8
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,080
you can't just
put it on his cheeks,
9
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:21,256
you have to rub it
all over the anus, too.
10
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,333
All over the anus, got it.
11
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,050
I think I'm going
to take a bath, okay?
12
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,886
Okay, babe. Go for it.
13
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,642
(WATER RUNNING)
14
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,537
Not this time.
15
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:01,372
Okay, come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on. Okay.
16
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,549
(VOCALIZING SOFTLY)
17
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,713
Yep.
18
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,802
WOMAN: Oh, yeah, you like
it nasty, don't you?
19
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,385
Oh, I do. I do, I'm sorry.
Guilty as charged. (CHUCKLES)
20
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,603
God, you're so big, it hurts.
21
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,605
I know, I can't help it.
22
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:19,936
Oh, yeah!
23
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,224
Give it to me, daddy. Oh, yeah.
24
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,776
Give it to me, daddy.
Give it to me... Oh, yeah.
25
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,186
EVAN: Daddy?
26
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,024
Evan! What the...
27
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:29,567
You're opening doors now?
How did...
28
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,868
I saw a monster. A what?
29
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,745
WOMAN: Stick your
finger in my asshole.
30
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:34,951
God. (WOMAN MOANS)
31
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,205
Fuck, yeah! Fuck, yeah!
32
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,533
Come on, come on, come on.
Fuck, yeah!
33
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,417
I want you to come
all over my...
34
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,578
(IN FALSETTO) Oh, my God!
35
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,622
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
36
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,421
Evan, don't touch that!
37
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:48,836
Don't...
38
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,759
Daddy, boo-boo.
39
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:53,761
What the...
40
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,847
Oh, my God.
41
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,553
Okay, don't move. Stay here.
42
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,388
Daddy needs a Band-Aid.
43
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,936
(MICHELLE MOANING)
44
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,439
Michelle?
45
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,438
Do you...
46
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,071
Mommy, Daddy, are you okay?
47
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,584
(UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING)
48
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,562
(PHONE RINGING)
49
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,568
Jim Levenstein.
50
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,988
They still haven't gotten
you an assistant yet, huh?
51
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,775
Kev, I'm sorry, I've been
meaning to call you back.
52
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,614
I've just been... Busy?
53
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:55,993
I get it.
54
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:57,655
Look, I'll make
this quick, okay?
55
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,828
The reunion, you in?
56
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,789
Hold on, is that
really happening?
57
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,328
Yeah, man, check your Facebook.
58
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,246
Look, I know they missed
the ten-year by a couple,
59
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,832
but, you know, seems like
people are actually going.
60
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,176
Hey, hon. Hey!
61
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,299
Mmm. Dinner smells great.
62
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,429
Hey, Ellie.
63
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,505
ELLIE: Hey, Jim.
64
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,682
Ooh, Bachelorette finale later.
65
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,810
And don't forget, we still
have to watch Real Housewives.
66
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,017
Yeah, how could I forget?
67
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,148
Hey, Kev, you know who
my favorite housewife is?
68
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,313
You.
69
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,693
Very funny.
70
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:33,028
Look, I love my wife, but I
need a weekend with the guys.
71
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,239
Come on, we'll go a few days early.
No Stifler this time.
72
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:39,029
Just you, me, Oz and Finch.
73
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,823
Yeah, well,
good luck with that.
74
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,663
I heard Finch's mom doesn't
even know where he is.
75
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,917
And what about Oz?
76
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:48,338
I mean, do you really think he would
come with all he has going on?
77
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,884
And we're back
here on Sports View,
78
00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,388
with my special guest,
Chad Ochocinco.
79
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,178
Chad, which college
football powerhouse
80
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,098
is gonna have the most players
drafted in this year's draft?
81
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,188
I'm gonna have to go with my
alma mater, the Oregon State.
82
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,571
Come on, man!
What are you smoking, Ocho?
83
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,481
You think I don't know
what I'm talking about?
84
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,737
Do me a favor,
take a look at the tape.
85
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,073
Hey, babe, I'm home!
86
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,581
And that wraps it up for my
special guest, Chad Ochocinco.
87
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:27,415
This is Chris Ostreicher reminding
you to play on, (IN FALSETTO) plava!
88
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,050
Hey, Mia?
89
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,506
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
90
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,843
Oh, my gosh!
So funny. (LAUGHING)
91
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,972
Oh, hey, baby!
92
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,603
Hi!
93
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,642
I was just watching
your show a minute ago.
94
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,772
Oh, yeah?
95
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,027
Is everything okay?
96
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,939
You tell me. You're in the
hot tub with another dude.
97
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,449
You are worried about Deshaun?
98
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,776
Aw, that is so cute!
99
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,913
Deshaun's the interior
decorator I told you about.
100
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,539
Hey, Christopher!
101
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,951
Strip down! Come join us.
102
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,420
Maybe next time, Deshaun.
103
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,922
I still don't get why we
need an interior decorator.
104
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,213
Because the place needs to look
perfect for the InStyle shoot.
105
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,972
Babe, trust me.
106
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,509
Remember how you didn't wanna go
on Celebrity Dance Off at first?
107
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,893
Now think of all
the fans you have.
108
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:30,728
Oh! I almost forgot, Mario Lopez
is having a Memorial Day party.
109
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,726
I told him we're in.
110
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:36,564
(CHUCKLES) Actually,
I was thinking about going
111
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,069
to my high school
reunion that weekend.
112
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,949
Well, if you're going,
I'm going, too.
113
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,783
Really? Yeah.
114
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:45,947
All right.
115
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,375
Mia, love, phone call.
It's Rumer.
116
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,293
Oh, shit, let me talk to her.
117
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,751
What's with you jacking
my style, bitch?
118
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,629
DESHAUN: Anything I can
get for you, Christopher?
119
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,013
Uh...
120
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,349
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
121
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:21,321
Morning, co-workers
and cock-jerkers!
122
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,280
Reggie, give me some love.
123
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,953
Looking good, Stifler.
124
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,781
Ladies, better be working hard,
125
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,286
you weren't hired
for your looks.
126
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,039
Actually, you were.
127
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,665
Not you. (WOMAN SCOFFS)
128
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,959
Seriously?
129
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,089
Bob, what are you doing here?
130
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,420
Don't you know
they fired your ass?
131
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,595
What? (LAUGHS)
132
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,514
I'm just fucking with you.
133
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:45,799
Or am I?
134
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,600
(STUTTERS) Hey!
135
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,730
Coffee for the pretty lady?
136
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,686
Sure, thanks.
137
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,816
Let me know if you want
some creamer with that.
138
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,144
(GRUNTS)
139
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,905
Hello, you. How are you?
140
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,593
"Oh, I'm good, Stifmeister,
'cause you know what?
141
00:08:06,594 --> 00:08:08,117
'Cause you're the best."
142
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,494
"Oh, I am the best."
"Yes, you are the..."
143
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,786
"You know, I love you so much that I'm
going to just have some fun down here."
144
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,285
"Oh, yeah, yeah..."
145
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,664
What the hell are you doing?
Jesus Christ!
146
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,043
Shit, sorry, Mr. Duraiswamy
It's... I was just...
147
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,168
Huh?
That's good, it's all clean.
148
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,005
I told you to print out the morning
numbers and put them on my desk,
149
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,635
and you're making
yourself at home?
150
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,554
No, I just thought...
(MOCKING) "I just thought..."
151
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,102
I don't pay you to think.
You are a temp.
152
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:34,432
Yeah, about that. I feel like I'm
being way underutilized here.
153
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,854
Oh, you do, do you?
154
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,935
Thank you for telling
me how you feel.
155
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,729
Do you mind if I
tell you how I feel?
156
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:44,942
I feel the sooner you realize
that you're the bitch,
157
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,027
not the boss,
158
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,410
(WHISPERING) the better
off you will be.
159
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,832
(WHISPERS) Fucker.
What was that?
160
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,117
Nothing!
161
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,419
Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy.
162
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,254
(LOUDLY) Fucker!
163
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,548
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
164
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:09,178
You know, we still haven't
discussed the whole
165
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,558
bathtub incident.
166
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,728
Huh? Oh, that? That's...
167
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,060
That“ Don't worry about that.
168
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,980
Well, I mean,
you know, obviously,
169
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,688
I would prefer it
if I was the one
170
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,024
that made you
feel that way, but...
171
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,692
I know how you feel.
172
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,863
Every time I want to shop online
and I start typing "Amazon,"
173
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:35,535
"amazingcollegesluts.com"
pops up.
174
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,457
Amazing what?
175
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,915
Okay, look, obviously
176
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:47,596
we need to have
more fun together.
177
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,552
I promise you, this weekend,
178
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:54,060
there is going to be plenty of
Jim and Michelle time, okay?
179
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:02,985
Hey!
180
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,108
Hello, sweetheart.
181
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,530
How are you? Oh!
182
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,240
It's so good to see you.
JIM: Hey, Dad.
183
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,113
Hello, son! Come here.
184
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,695
Hi! Hi!
185
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,746
LEVENSTEIN: Oh, no!
Look who that is!
186
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:17,452
Look at this big bruiser!
Oh, my goodness!
187
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,211
He has grown.
LEVENSTEIN: Look at him! Huh?
188
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,794
Someone's got
a little poopy diaper.
189
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,585
(PUNK MUSIC BLARING)
190
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,351
(CAR HORN HONKING)
191
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,031
Jim?
192
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,542
I can't believe it's you.
193
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,878
You don't remember me, do you?
194
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,379
Uh...
Remember Teletubby Tuesdays?
195
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,923
Kara?
196
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,762
Oh, my God.
197
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:19,434
What? You're not
a kid any more.
198
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,065
It's been a long time since
I needed a babysitter.
199
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:26,103
I can't believe how
much you've grown up.
200
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,316
Thanks!
201
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,397
It's actually my 18th
birthday tomorrow.
202
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:30,565
Eighteen, wow.
203
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,237
You should come to my party.
204
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,318
Oh, uh...
205
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,571
Thank you, no. I...
Yeah, that might be difficult.
206
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,530
Please, I want you
to come so bad.
207
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,126
Hey, Kara! We gotta go.
208
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,454
Okay, relax.
209
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,377
That's AJ. Don't ask.
210
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,542
Hopefully I will
see you tomorrow.
211
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,133
What?
AJ: Who the fuck was that?
212
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,881
Hey, sweetie.
213
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,965
Hey.
214
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,224
Who were you talking to?
215
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,803
That was just
the kid next door.
216
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,858
(SIGHS)
217
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,407
(CHUCKLES)
218
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,785
(INHALES DEEPLY)
219
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,629
Hello, my old friends.
220
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,015
I thought about
throwing them out,
221
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,432
but they just have
too much sentimental value.
222
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,641
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
223
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,266
Oh, Jim, Jim, Jim.
224
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,363
You know, I can remember when
you were just a little guy.
225
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,445
And now you've got
your own little guy.
226
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,608
I know.
227
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,411
And before you know it,
he's gonna be a teenager...
228
00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,612
Wow.
229
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:03,121
And you'll be teaching him
about masturbation
230
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,786
and, you know, all the
do's and all the don'ts
231
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,211
that have to do with
the little guy's weenie.
232
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,288
Right? Okay?
233
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,124
Hopefully, it'll be more of a bratwurst
by the time he's a teenager...
234
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,424
Okay, Dad, I get it.
...but I'm just...
235
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,002
Well, these are things you're
gonna have to deal with.
236
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,758
I understand. It's just,
you know, he's two.
237
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,680
Well, yeah, maybe
you've got time, but..
238
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,725
So, you know, I just, I'd rather
not talk about his penis.
239
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,928
How you doing, Dad? I'm good.
240
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:26,106
Yeah? What are you doing for fun?
You seen any movies lately?
241
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,897
Well, you know, your mother and
I did go to a lot of movies.
242
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,645
Well...
243
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:38,243
You know, it has been three
years since she passed, Dad.
244
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,571
There's gotta be someone in
town you can see a movie with.
245
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:45,033
I have you now.
We'll see a movie tonight, you and me.
246
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,085
(STUTTERING) Tonight?
247
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,878
Well, I made plans
with the guys,
248
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,671
to meet up with them
tonight at the bar... Oh.
249
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:51,919
But... Yeah, yeah...
250
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,672
But I don't need to do that.
I can do that tomorrow.
251
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,425
No. No, no, no, no.
This is why you're in town, isn't it?
252
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,840
No, no, no.
You go. I'll be fine.
253
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,141
I was just planning
on staying in tonight
254
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,934
and, you know,
doing a little reading.
255
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:10,433
Oh, not this. No. No.
256
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:15,610
Although, I do remember reading
a very interesting article
257
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,616
on something Brazilian.
258
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,200
Boy, these pages are all
stuck together here.
259
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,911
I got it.
260
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,625
Kev.
261
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,589
Hey!
262
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,801
What's up, man? Jim.
263
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,136
Hey, guys!
264
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,758
Oz. There he is.
265
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:44,888
You made it.
266
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,846
Hey, I missed your wedding,
I wasn't gonna miss this.
267
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,643
Hey, buddy. What's up, pal?
268
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,479
Good to see you. Yeah, man.
269
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,143
Hey, Kev!
270
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,523
Looking good, look at you!
271
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,400
Oh, stop it. Come on.
272
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:57,480
(ALL CHUCKLING)
(CAR HORN HONKING)
273
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,325
(TIRES SCREECHING)
274
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,163
Gentlemen.
275
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,291
Finch? Finch!
276
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,421
Oh, my God!
It great to see you, James.
277
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,467
Changed at all, Jim.
278
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:19,544
Good to see you, pal.
279
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,674
I didn't think you
were gonna make it.
280
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,754
Finch, how are you, man?
281
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:26,761
So, after my troubles in Beijing,
I just moved to Dubai,
282
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,100
and then I got all caught up in the
world of underground baccarat.
283
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,563
Spent the rest of '09 living
with this African tribe.
284
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,815
Oh, they made me
an honorary tribesman.
285
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:37,937
Oh.
286
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,359
Whoa, that looks like it hurt.
287
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,524
It looks like that
because it did hurt, Kevin.
288
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,696
Since then, I've just been
biking through South America.
289
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,786
So, basically, you are the most
interesting man in the world.
290
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,038
Yeah. Let me guess,
291
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,662
you guys are here
for the reunion, huh?
292
00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,830
You got it. Class of '99.
293
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,544
Haven I seen you before?
294
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,801
Yeah, I'm on TV.
295
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,337
No, not you. You.
296
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,888
'Cause, your face,
you're just so familiar.
297
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,644
Yeah! Yeah, this is you, right?
298
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,643
(ALL LAUGHING)
KEVIN: Oh! Man, Nadia!
299
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:15,191
More, more, you bad boy!
300
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,477
I swear I had these all taken down.
How did you...
301
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,654
Oh, yeah. How many times did
you pre-ejaculate again?
302
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,197
Oh, leave him alone.
303
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,359
I bet you were all desperate
virgins back then.
304
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,242
Selena Vega.
305
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,663
That's Selena Vega in front of us.
Wait, wait, wait, Selena...
306
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,744
Hold on, Michelle's
friend from band?
307
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,828
You got it.
308
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,710
Oh, my God. I'm sorry
I didn't recognize you.
309
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,215
You look
310
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,666
different.
311
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,670
Well, next round's
on me, okay, guys?
312
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,843
Hey, that chick was in band?
313
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,434
This is the first long weekend
I have had in a while
314
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,761
so I wanna make it count.
315
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:54,056
I want the place spotless, and
I want it filled with booze.
316
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,145
And I wanna make sure you're
not around on Sunday night,
317
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,192
'cause I plan on bringing some
ass back from the reunion,
318
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,861
and I wanna tap that without you there.
You got it?
319
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,274
You know, first of all,
Steven, it's my house.
320
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,067
You're lucky I'm
letting you stay here.
321
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,361
Look, you wanted me to
get a job, so I got one.
322
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,201
At least let me have the
house for the weekend.
323
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,616
My house, my rules.
324
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,080
And as for tonight, if you
don't wanna risk coming home
325
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,870
and seeing more of your
mother than you'd like,
326
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,710
I suggest you stay out late.
327
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,000
Gross.
328
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:25,294
(ALL LAUGHING)
329
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,306
That was really...
330
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,682
Hey, bar wench,
can I get a Budweiser?
331
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:35,471
Beer down.
332
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,359
What the fuck are you
fuckers doing here?
333
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,031
You made it! Made what?
334
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,157
What are you talking about?
335
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,243
What do you mean?
We sent you an e-mail
336
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,125
about getting together a couple
of days before the reunion.
337
00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:00,209
You know what? I must have put
two F's in "Stifmeister."
338
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,793
JIM: What? KEVIN: I'm sorry.
339
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,627
(LAUGHS)
340
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,008
Two F's? You dumbass!
341
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,384
Kev!
342
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,340
Hey, Kevin, is that
a pussy on your face?
343
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:12,801
(TRILLING LIPS) Oh, come on!
344
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,685
Yeah, yeah, yeah! (SNIFFING)
345
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,886
Nice.
346
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,643
So, Stifler,
you're looking sharp.
347
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,144
What are you up to these days?
348
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,601
I work at JBH Global.
349
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,686
Wow! That's a big-time firm.
350
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:24,937
What do you do over there?
351
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,189
Oh, you know,
352
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,366
investment stuff.
353
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,203
People wonder why our financial
system's falling apart.
354
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,327
Nice scarf. I see you finally
came out of the closet.
355
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,036
How is your mother, Stifler?
356
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,917
You stay away from
my mom, shitbreak.
357
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,579
Okay, boys,
the past is the past.
358
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,289
We can bury
the hatchet here, huh?
359
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,045
Yeah, fuck it.
360
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,960
Hey, short-shorts!
A round of Jägerbombs for me and my boys!
361
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,470
Go fuck yourself, Stifler.
362
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,011
How the hell does
she know my name?
363
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,055
STIFLER: (CACKLING) Lard Arms?
364
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,306
JIM: Jesus, Stifler.
365
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,354
Talk about an ugly duckling
turning into a swan, right?
366
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,350
Let me see that.
367
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:08,774
Oh! Fingered her,
hairy nips, huge boobs.
368
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,443
Oh. (MOANS)
369
00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,619
There she is!
370
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,738
The créme de my cock.
371
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,573
Blowjob Lipstein.
372
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,082
Her given name
was Loni, Stifler.
373
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,962
She used to call me Big Stiffy.
374
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,963
She was the mouth
that got away.
375
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,172
Last call!
376
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,464
Already? Wait here, guys.
377
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,933
Oh! Man, the Senior Wish List.
378
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,060
Wish List?
I don't remember that.
379
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,854
Oh, yeah, man.
It's that cheesy page in the yearbook
380
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,058
where we all had to write
wishes about our future.
381
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,019
What, did you write something cheesy?
Let's see.
382
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:50,941
"Chris Ostreicher.
Hopes to coach his son's lacrosse team."
383
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,242
Oh! Isn't that the
sweetest thing?
384
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,534
Well,
385
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,742
I guess I thought
I'd have a family by now.
386
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,119
All right, you wanna hear
what you wrote, Finch?
387
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,290
FINCH: I do.
388
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:04,249
"Paul Finch hopes to
find le grand amour."
389
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,539
Yes, true love.
390
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:11,256
Alas, I have yet to find what you
would call a real relationship.
391
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:14,047
Right, because banging
Stifler's mom didn't count.
392
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,262
OZ: All right, let's see
what you got, Kev.
393
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,850
"Kevin Myers. Hopes to
still be living it up"
394
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:24,106
"with the amazing
Vicky Lathum."
395
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,562
Oh, man! Vicky! What?
396
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,023
I am sure your wife would
be very happy to read that.
397
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,938
What? I was dating
Vicky at the time.
398
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,447
Let me see what I put.
399
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,902
"Jim Levenstein"
400
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,086
"hopes to have the
sex life of Ricky Martin."
401
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,917
So, I'm assuming you didn't
know he was gay back then.
402
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,672
Jim, it's a good thing
you found a woman
403
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,595
with the sex drive
of a dozen groupies. Hmm?
404
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,006
I mean, you're probably having
more sex than any of us.
405
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,350
Probably, you know.
406
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,513
Hope you guys are thirsty.
Stifler Claus is here.
407
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,273
Whoa! Stifler, that's a little
too much, don't you think?
408
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,526
Dude, find your balls
and return them to your sack.
409
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:10,690
I say we keep this party going.
410
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,693
I say we make this
weekend our bitch.
411
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,325
We could party together, do all the
same shit that we used to do together.
412
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,827
It'll be just like old times.
413
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,659
Hell yes! That's why I'm here.
414
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,324
No Bachelorette,
no Real Housewives.
415
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:27,041
Thing is, you only get one
chance at your 13th reunion.
416
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,583
I was kind of hoping to spend
a little time with the wife.
417
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:33,709
Fuck! Dude!
418
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,171
James? What? Come on!
419
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:39,014
I mean, I'm in. Of course I'm in.
Come on, what?
420
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,174
Yeah! Yeah.
421
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,932
Then, gentlemen, I hope you're
all wearing protection,
422
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,142
because this weekend,
we're gonna fuck shit up!
423
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:47,978
JIM: Cheers!
OZ: Yeah! All right!
424
00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:52,024
(DOORBELL RINGING)
425
00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:54,442
(GROANS SOFTLY)
426
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,626
What the fuck?
427
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,174
Holy shit.
428
00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:17,920
(BOTH GIGGLING)
429
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,676
Hey!
430
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,261
Hi.
431
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,683
What happened?
432
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:28,435
(STUTTERING)
I don't really remember.
433
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:32,522
I blame you. How much did you
let him drink last night?
434
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:35,404
SELENA: Honestly,
not that much.
435
00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:38,783
Well, we gotta clean this up
before we go to the lake.
436
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:42,036
What? The lake?
437
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:45,285
Yeah, the lake, dude.
It was your idea.
438
00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:48,000
We discussed
all this last night.
439
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,377
Oh, the lake!
Yes, of course, the...
440
00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,755
Hey, Jim, can you hand me
those paper towels, please?
441
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:58,469
Oh, those paper towels?
The paper ones.
442
00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:00,553
Uh...
443
00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,390
The paper towels, Jim.
444
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:05,471
Jim! Yeah...
445
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,019
The paper towels!
446
00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:09,270
(GASPS)
447
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,478
I'm really sorry.
448
00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:20,525
Jim, you do realize that
the lid is see-through, right?
449
00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,158
Oh, wow.
450
00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:29,579
Good eye.
451
00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:33,166
That's the father of my child.
452
00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:39,168
(WHOOPING)
453
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:49,144
Oh, come on!
454
00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:51,722
Hey, watch it! Okay, jeez.
455
00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:55,439
Am I wrong, or was this place a lot
more fun when we were younger?
456
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,775
No, no. I think it's the same.
We're just old now.
457
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:03,154
But were we just as obnoxious
as these kids back in the day?
458
00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:04,489
No.
459
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:07,329
Us, our generation,
we were more mature.
460
00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:09,161
Hey, guys, check it out.
461
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,659
Vagina shark!
462
00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:15,204
(SCREAMING)
463
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,584
He touched my snatch!
464
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,833
I take that back.
465
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,260
FINCH: Oh, my God.
466
00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,183
Fellas, do you gotta stare?
467
00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:32,346
Yeah. Yeah.
468
00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:34,106
Yes, we do need to stare.
469
00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:39,149
(SCOFFS) Could Jim
be any more obvious?
470
00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:41,735
Oh, give him a break.
471
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:45,492
I mean, it's not every day you get to see
a model walking around off the page.
472
00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:49,990
There hasn't been
a whole lot of sexy time
473
00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:52,120
in the Levenstein
household lately.
474
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,200
Why not?
475
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,997
I don't know. I'm a mom now.
476
00:24:57,079 --> 00:24:59,377
(SCOFFS) Oh, please!
477
00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,463
Just because you're
a mom doesn't mean
478
00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:04,091
there isn't a whole other side to you.
(LAUGHS)
479
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,969
Hey, remember that
one time at band camp,
480
00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:10,517
when we licked whipped cream
off each other's...
481
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:13,812
Yes! Yes! I remember.
482
00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:16,056
Let's keep that
in the past, though, okay?
483
00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:19,689
JIM: Oh, she's...
484
00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:22,446
Yeah, well, you gotta do that, or
else you're gonna get tan lines.
485
00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,073
Sideboob. There... Sorry.
(WHISPERING) Sideboob. Ozzy, look!
486
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,610
Okay! Come on!
487
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,491
You're a lucky man, Oz.
488
00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:33,915
Oh, come on, guys.
I think we're all pretty
489
00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:36,786
lucky.
490
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:42,299
Wait, is that Heather?
491
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:45,131
(INDISTINCT)
492
00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,137
Yeah, it is.
493
00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:51,633
Heather.
494
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:52,760
Chris!
495
00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:54,811
Hey.
496
00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,479
What are you doing here?
497
00:25:56,638 --> 00:26:00,393
I guess we had
the same idea, huh?
498
00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:03,107
Chris, this is Ron,
my boyfriend.
499
00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,565
Chris Ostreicher, Ron Douglas.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
500
00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:06,732
How do you do?
501
00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:08,817
Ron's a cardiologist
at my hospital.
502
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,324
A cardiologist. Wow.
503
00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:15,037
Yeah. And, hey, listen, my friends call
me Doctor Ron, D-Ron or just Dron.
504
00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:16,082
So you feel free.
505
00:26:16,158 --> 00:26:17,705
Okay.
506
00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:18,957
Hey, fuckface!
507
00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:21,168
Choir chick! Whoa!
508
00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,590
Nice to see you, too, Stifler.
509
00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:24,792
Who's this douche?
510
00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:27,173
I'm her boyfriend.
511
00:26:28,504 --> 00:26:30,632
So, you two are banging,
512
00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:33,259
and you two used to bang.
513
00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,266
This must be awkward
for all of you.
514
00:26:36,345 --> 00:26:38,097
(LAUGHS) It is now.
515
00:26:38,180 --> 00:26:39,181
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
516
00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:41,650
That little shit took my top!
(LAUGHS)
517
00:26:41,809 --> 00:26:43,152
Give it back!
518
00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:47,149
Um, that's my girlfriend.
519
00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:50,609
What's this? What's this?
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
520
00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:51,739
(LAUGHS)
521
00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:54,789
Hey, kid!
What do you think you're doing?
522
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,541
Hey!
Come on, come on, let's go!
523
00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:59,827
Come on, guys. Not cool!
524
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,955
What're you assholes gonna do about it?
(BOYS SNICKERING)
525
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,128
(EXCLAIMING)
526
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,133
Well, that was interesting.
527
00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:15,676
Well, should we do something?
528
00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,143
What are we gonna do? Come on.
529
00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:20,393
Agreed. There's no need
to stoop to their level.
530
00:27:20,556 --> 00:27:21,978
Fuck that!
531
00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:24,064
I know exactly
where they're going.
532
00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:28,363
Stifler?
533
00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:31,317
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC BLARING)
534
00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:46,836
(SIGHS)
535
00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:48,417
JIM: Where the hell is he?
536
00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:49,927
Guys, this is stupid.
537
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,213
I really can't keep Michelle waiting.
Can we just head back?
538
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,256
Hold on.
Let Stifler do his thing.
539
00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:56,517
Yeah, that's what
I'm afraid of.
540
00:28:04,099 --> 00:28:05,726
Did you guys see
the look on their faces?
541
00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:06,940
Fucking awesome.
542
00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:08,570
BO: He is crazy.
543
00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:12,858
I think one of those guys
was Kara's babysitter.
544
00:28:12,941 --> 00:28:14,033
Which one?
545
00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:16,407
You know, the one that
looked like Adam Sandler.
546
00:28:16,486 --> 00:28:18,033
(BOYS LAUGHING)
547
00:28:23,911 --> 00:28:26,130
JIM: Stifler better not
do anything crazy.
548
00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:27,915
All he's gonna do
is tell them off.
549
00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,879
I thought he was gonna
cut their jet skis free.
550
00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,589
What happened to pissing
in their suntan lotion?
551
00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,221
Hold on. He told me he was
going to steal their beer.
552
00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:36,469
(SIGHING) Stifler.
553
00:28:47,768 --> 00:28:50,362
KEVIN: Oh, wait. There he is.
554
00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:51,563
OZ: All right.
555
00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:53,945
JIM: Yep, he's
taking their beer.
556
00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,276
All right, hurry up,
Stifler. Come on.
557
00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:59,496
What is he doing?
558
00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:01,081
OZ: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
JIM: Wait.
559
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,783
Oh, God! KEVIN: Oh, my God.
560
00:29:02,908 --> 00:29:04,080
Steven! No!
561
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:05,160
Oh, God.
562
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:07,333
Yo, so you really think Kara's
gonna give it up tonight?
563
00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:09,419
AJ: She was waiting until she turns 18.
You do the math.
564
00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:10,465
(GRUNTING)
565
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:15,262
The only math I know is you've added
your penis to her vagina zero times.
566
00:29:17,339 --> 00:29:18,716
(SPLASHING)
567
00:29:19,841 --> 00:29:20,842
(SIGHS)
568
00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:22,519
KYLE: Jennifer's not a skank.
569
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:23,595
BO: Dude, yes, she is.
570
00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:24,771
I'm gonna throw up.
571
00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,274
Oh, my God. That's disgusting.
572
00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:28,475
What're you doing?
573
00:29:28,684 --> 00:29:30,482
(MOUTHING)
574
00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:32,362
Hurry up. Come on!
575
00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:34,607
BO: Down it, man!
Just chug it! Chug it!
576
00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,692
Do it. Do it! Don't puss out.
577
00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:38,360
Don't puss out!
578
00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:39,444
Let's just go. Let's go.
579
00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:40,529
Go, go. Go, go, go, go. Go, go.
580
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,707
You want another?
581
00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:44,866
For sure.
582
00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:49,626
Guys, I'm telling you, tonight is gonna
be the night she promised me a year ago.
583
00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:57,800
What the...
584
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,223
Hey! Dipshit!
585
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,733
No!
586
00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,236
No, no!
587
00:30:14,771 --> 00:30:15,988
(LOUD CRASHING)
588
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,572
Stifler! Are you crazy?
589
00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:23,160
Jesus, Stifler, what happened
to just stealing their beer?
590
00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:25,245
I know, this is so
much better, right?
591
00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:27,205
What? (LAUGHS)
592
00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:29,252
JIM: You destroyed
their jet skis.
593
00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:31,413
They splashed us.
594
00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:33,415
So...
595
00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:40,680
Come on, guys.
That was pretty funny.
596
00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:43,683
Maybe in high school it was funny.
Now it's just a felony.
597
00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:45,014
Only if we get caught.
598
00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:47,846
Yeah, you gotta admit, it was nice
giving those kids a little payback.
599
00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:50,015
Maybe it was good that they will
learn to respect their elders.
600
00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:51,399
Exactly!
601
00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:54,232
Hey, give me a second, I gotta
find some toilet paper.
602
00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:55,611
That's gross.
603
00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:57,989
VICKY: What's up,
Class of '99-ers?
604
00:30:58,148 --> 00:31:00,116
Oh, my God! Vicky!
605
00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:01,193
Hi!
606
00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:02,277
Hey!
607
00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:03,616
I can't believe you're here.
608
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,288
Yeah, I flew in from
New York last night.
609
00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:06,915
I've been hanging
outwith my parents.
610
00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:09,122
They were actually just
talking about you earlier.
611
00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:10,831
Really? About what?
612
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:13,463
That time they caught us
making out at the Falls.
613
00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:15,044
Oh, right.
614
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:18,093
The Falls. Wow, I haven't
been there in forever.
615
00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:20,299
Michelle used to love
going to the Falls.
616
00:31:20,462 --> 00:31:21,805
The place is romance incarnate.
617
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:25,138
Hell, yeah.
I got my first rim job at the Falls.
618
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,426
Okay.
619
00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,304
Hey, sweetie.
620
00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,389
Mmm, sweetie pie!
621
00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:31,686
Hello.
622
00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:36,566
So, the guys were all talking
about heading over to the Falls.
623
00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:39,781
Well, what about
Jim and Michelle time?
624
00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,154
I was thinking it could
be kind of romantic.
625
00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:45,867
Well, I'd love to, but your
dad has been with Ev all day.
626
00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,698
Yeah, no, you're right.
627
00:31:47,864 --> 00:31:49,866
Okay. Yeah, we'll
just, we'll go home.
628
00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:53,082
Oh, no, no.
You go and have fun.
629
00:31:53,161 --> 00:31:54,253
Really? Yeah.
630
00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:57,924
Just, when you get home,
you just better be ready.
631
00:31:58,083 --> 00:31:59,630
You better be ready.
632
00:31:59,793 --> 00:32:01,340
I'm ready.
633
00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:10,642
Um, Stifler, do you know
where you're going?
634
00:32:10,804 --> 00:32:13,273
I know this place
like the back of my cock.
635
00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:15,275
(GIRLS SCREAMING)
636
00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:17,148
(DANCE MUSIC BLARING)
637
00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,244
It looks like
a high school party.
638
00:32:28,155 --> 00:32:29,532
With high school chicks.
639
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:32,830
It's on.
640
00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:35,542
Watch it, Stifler. You know these
girls are, like, half your age.
641
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:36,796
I know.
642
00:32:37,873 --> 00:32:38,874
(YELPS)
643
00:32:39,332 --> 00:32:40,675
(CHEERING)
644
00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:46,549
Okay, is it just me, or do girls
today seem a bit sluttier?
645
00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,762
Definitely.
646
00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:50,890
Teen sex, rainbow parties,
sexting nude photos...
647
00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:53,430
I saw it all on
Kathie Lee & Hoda.
648
00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,645
Happy birthday! (WHOOPING)
649
00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:03,656
Jim?
650
00:33:04,065 --> 00:33:05,783
Kara. You came!
651
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,361
Hey!
652
00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:09,492
Sorry.
653
00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:10,739
(SQUEALS)
654
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:11,914
Happy birthday.
655
00:33:13,366 --> 00:33:15,460
Oh, my God,
is this the babysitter?
656
00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:16,502
Mmm-hmm.
657
00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:19,081
You make it sound like I'm a superhero.
(CHUCKLES)
658
00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:21,966
Faster than a speeding stroller,
more powerful than a mini-van.
659
00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:23,376
(ALL LAUGHING)
660
00:33:23,460 --> 00:33:24,552
I told you he was funny.
661
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:25,837
He's adorable.
662
00:33:25,921 --> 00:33:27,673
(FEIGNING LAUGHTER)
663
00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:30,096
Hey, Jim. Do you wanna
introduce me to your friends?
664
00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:31,259
No.
665
00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:35,017
Girls, this is Stifler.
666
00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:37,940
So, how do you know
my best friend Jim?
667
00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:39,817
Jim used to be my babysitter.
668
00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:43,693
Hey, I was just
gonna do a birthday shot.
669
00:33:43,772 --> 00:33:45,115
Do you guys
wanna do one with me?
670
00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,316
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
671
00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:47,400
Yeah. Oh, ye& yes, yes.
672
00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:49,369
I shouldn't.
Yes, we should, yes, we should.
673
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:53,824
Never have I ever
had sex in public.
674
00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,998
Really? None of you?
675
00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:03,792
Oh, come on, Heather.
You haven't drank once.
676
00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:05,506
You are such a prude!
677
00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:09,424
Or maybe I've just
never had sex in public.
678
00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:15,764
Okay, never have I
ever been in an orgy.
679
00:34:21,351 --> 00:34:23,274
They were really nice guys.
680
00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:27,153
Believe it or not, this is
my first high school party.
681
00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:28,783
You didn't miss much.
682
00:34:28,942 --> 00:34:33,493
I always preferred staying at
home, throwing on a little NPR.
683
00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:35,498
You were so much
cooler than me.
684
00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:39,579
I sat around writing
X-Files fan fiction.
685
00:34:42,122 --> 00:34:47,344
I translated The Brothers
Karamazov into Latin for fun.
686
00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:51,173
That is so sexy.
687
00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:53,679
You know it is.
688
00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:55,518
I've only been
working as an architect
689
00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:58,017
for the last few years,
and from home.
690
00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:00,056
You've been with the same
company for over ten years.
691
00:35:00,223 --> 00:35:02,476
That's awesome, it sounds like
everything is working out for you.
692
00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:05,941
Yeah. I mean, everything's
good, especially work-wise.
693
00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:07,523
But now that we're
back here in the town,
694
00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,149
and we see, like,
all of our old friends,
695
00:35:09,316 --> 00:35:11,865
and everyone's married
and having kids,
696
00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:14,951
it just makes me,
you know, think.
697
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:17,286
(COUGHS)
698
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:18,537
You okay there, Kev?
699
00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:22,208
Yeah, I just don't
normally drink like this.
700
00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:24,418
You're telling me you haven't
gotten a little bit tipsy
701
00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:25,919
on Myers Family Wine Night?
702
00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:29,131
I see somebody's been
stalking my Facebook page.
703
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,672
At least I don't take
pictures of my meals.
704
00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:33,306
Who's stalking who now?
705
00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:36,810
Okay, so I've been by your
page maybe once or twice.
706
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:40,222
You were dating someone
named Alessandro?
707
00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:44,059
You know, he does know that he can take
a picture with his shirt on, right?
708
00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:47,320
Alessandro is long gone.
709
00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,990
It's over, huh?
710
00:35:55,236 --> 00:35:57,238
Okay, after this drink,
I have to go home.
711
00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:58,372
Jim.
712
00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:02,294
There's a smoking hot 18-year-old girl
over there that you used to babysit.
713
00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,420
And you're not going to
do anything about that?
714
00:36:04,579 --> 00:36:06,673
Need I remind you that
I am married to Michelle?
715
00:36:06,748 --> 00:36:07,749
Exactly.
716
00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:13,631
Dude, these young chicks, they know
some crazy shit in the bedroom.
717
00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:17,013
You could take what
you learn from Kara,
718
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,769
bring it home,
and apply it to Michelle.
719
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:23,098
You do care about your
marriage, don't you, Jim?
720
00:36:23,264 --> 00:36:24,766
What are you talking
about, Stifler?
721
00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:27,022
I'm not gonna cheat on my wife!
722
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,187
I'm a father
for Christ's sakes.
723
00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:31,356
Yeah, that's perfect.
724
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:34,151
Yeah, chicks love a father figure.
Keep playing that card, dude.
725
00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:36,490
It's not a card,
it's the truth.
726
00:36:36,653 --> 00:36:38,030
Hey. Hi.
727
00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:39,456
What are you guys
talking about?
728
00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,784
Oh, you know... Just“
729
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:45,375
Jim was just saying how much
fun he had taking care of you.
730
00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:48,165
Hey, ladies, why don't we give
them some time to catch up?
731
00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,420
Mmm-hmm. Yeah, after you.
732
00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:51,797
No, that's not necessary.
We should all hang out together.
733
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,553
Why don't we all...
Stifler, just...
734
00:36:53,628 --> 00:36:55,050
Be her daddy.
735
00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:58,137
Stifler? Stifler!
736
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:05,141
So, sounds like you and Mia have
quite an adventurous lifestyle.
737
00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:07,726
Sometimes a little
too adventurous.
738
00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:12,398
Wow. Well, Heather's a bit
more on the conservative side.
739
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,481
But, uh...
740
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:14,987
Hey! Hi.
741
00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:20,663
But, I gotta be honest, Chris, I
could use a little adventure myself.
742
00:37:21,156 --> 00:37:22,703
What are you getting at, Ron?
743
00:37:22,866 --> 00:37:27,588
I'm just saying that usually
I'm not one for swapping,
744
00:37:27,746 --> 00:37:33,003
but the fact that you've been with
Heather already, kind of makes it okay.
745
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:36,588
So, what do you think?
746
00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:38,923
Think they'd be into it?
747
00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:42,723
I'm kidding.
Come on, I'm kidding!
748
00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:44,263
(LAUGHS)
749
00:37:44,345 --> 00:37:46,188
Seriously,
I would never do that!
750
00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:48,937
Unless you guys wanted to.
751
00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:52,854
So you've really been to every
country in South America?
752
00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:54,944
No, no, not all of them.
753
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:58,201
And I don't consider
French Guiana a nation.
754
00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:03,202
I remember, I couldn't
wait till graduation
755
00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:06,288
so I could leave this town
and reinvent myself.
756
00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:09,170
You have certainly
reinvented yourself.
757
00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:10,337
I don't know.
758
00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:12,632
There's just a part of me
that still wishes that
759
00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:15,130
I could just explore
the world, you know?
760
00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:17,136
Be everything I set out to be.
761
00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:21,308
You can be whoever you wanna be.
You just gotta be it.
762
00:38:24,052 --> 00:38:25,304
You wanna make out? Yeah.
763
00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:32,985
Are you crazy?
I love the Twilight books.
764
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,896
New Moon is my favorite.
765
00:38:35,063 --> 00:38:36,064
Mine, too!
766
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,775
Oh, my God!
We have, like, so much in common!
767
00:38:38,942 --> 00:38:40,159
I know! I know!
768
00:38:40,235 --> 00:38:41,236
(ALL LAUGHING)
769
00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:43,575
Wanna hit this?
770
00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:45,411
In more ways than one.
771
00:38:50,495 --> 00:38:52,589
(WOMAN MOANING ON RINGTONE)
772
00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:57,464
(STIFLED) I don't know who this is, but
I'm pretty fucking busy right now.
773
00:38:57,627 --> 00:38:58,844
So sorry to interrupt, Stafler.
774
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,131
Didn't realize the Special
Olympics competed at night.
775
00:39:01,297 --> 00:39:02,298
Oh, fuck.
776
00:39:02,507 --> 00:39:03,929
(COUGHING)
777
00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,351
What the hell's
going on over there?
778
00:39:05,426 --> 00:39:06,848
What, are you choking
on your own dick?
779
00:39:07,804 --> 00:39:10,853
Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy,
nothing.
780
00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:12,684
What can I do for you, sir?
781
00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:14,694
Bob from Acquisitions
had a heart attack.
782
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,521
Some idiot told him
that he was fired.
783
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:17,905
He flipped out, I don't know.
784
00:39:18,064 --> 00:39:20,408
Listen, I need someone
to finish his presentation.
785
00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:23,320
I need you to go in on Sunday
and get everything ready. Yes?
786
00:39:23,486 --> 00:39:25,784
Oh, wait, Sunday.
787
00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:27,870
I got my high school reunion.
788
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,158
Oh, wow, how fun!
789
00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:30,664
Yeah, no, I'll just
call the chairman,
790
00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:31,835
and I'll get him to reschedule.
791
00:39:31,995 --> 00:39:34,248
Seriously?
Hey, that would be awesome!
792
00:39:34,414 --> 00:39:37,793
That was a fucking joke, you moron.
Jesus Christ, what am I doing?
793
00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:40,757
You know what, I am gonna
handle this myself.
794
00:39:40,837 --> 00:39:43,716
No. No, no, no,
listen, Mr. Duraiswamy,
795
00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:46,601
I can do it, okay?
I promise, I'll get it done.
796
00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:48,303
Just don't fuck up, Stafler.
797
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,935
It's Stifler.
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
798
00:39:51,097 --> 00:39:53,065
Dick! Hey, ladies...
799
00:39:53,474 --> 00:39:55,602
Ladies? They bailed, dude.
800
00:39:55,768 --> 00:39:57,486
Aw, fuck!
801
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:00,648
Ugh! Um...
802
00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:02,484
Ooh! (LAUGHS)
803
00:40:02,567 --> 00:40:05,992
Hey, Kara, how are you
getting home tonight?
804
00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,832
AJ was supposed to
drive my car back,
805
00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:10,333
but he hasn't
even shown up yet.
806
00:40:10,491 --> 00:40:12,835
Some lame excuse
about his jet skis.
807
00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:14,667
Can you believe that jerk?
808
00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:18,333
What about you?
809
00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:19,671
Will you take me?
810
00:40:19,834 --> 00:40:22,053
Uh... Um...
811
00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:25,674
Come on! We're going
to the same place.
812
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,763
Besides, it wouldn't
be responsible
813
00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:30,186
to let me drive
in this condition.
814
00:40:30,553 --> 00:40:31,600
Right?
815
00:40:35,850 --> 00:40:37,693
(POP MUSIC PLAYING
ON CAR STEREO)
816
00:40:37,769 --> 00:40:38,770
(WHOOPING)
817
00:40:38,895 --> 00:40:40,238
Okay, Kara.
818
00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:44,234
Hey! Whoa! Careful!
Careful. Yeah.
819
00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:46,077
Oh, my God, I love this song.
820
00:40:46,235 --> 00:40:47,282
It's a good one.
821
00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:48,909
Isn't classic rock the best?
822
00:40:49,072 --> 00:40:52,372
Classic rock?
This is classic rock now?
823
00:40:54,202 --> 00:40:56,421
Hey, you know, Kara, you
should drink some more water.
824
00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:58,043
Where's that bottle I gave you?
825
00:40:58,206 --> 00:41:00,129
Oh, it's right here. Okay.
826
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:02,385
In the back.
827
00:41:06,047 --> 00:41:07,640
(HORN HONKS) (TIRES SQUEAL)
828
00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:11,390
Shit. Sorry. Sorry.
There was a... (CLEARS THROAT)
829
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:15,474
There was a little baby
squirrel in the road, so...
830
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:20,111
Whoa! Hey! Whoa!
That's not water. Okay.
831
00:41:20,269 --> 00:41:23,614
It's a little too much now.
832
00:41:23,773 --> 00:41:27,573
I love how, after all these years,
you're still taking care of me.
833
00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:30,705
Well, you know, a
babysitter's job never ends.
834
00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:34,000
(GIGGLING) You knew I always
had a crush on you, right?
835
00:41:34,075 --> 00:41:35,827
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
836
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:37,253
(HESITANTLY) No.
837
00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:40,540
I want you to be my first.
838
00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:44,260
Your first?
839
00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:46,421
Oh, God. Okay. Um...
840
00:41:46,587 --> 00:41:48,635
Kara, listen. Um...
841
00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:54,145
A person's virginity is
something sacred, you know?
842
00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:55,805
You should save yourself
for someone special.
843
00:41:55,888 --> 00:41:56,935
You're special.
844
00:41:57,015 --> 00:42:00,485
No! Not special.
845
00:42:00,643 --> 00:42:02,771
You think? I really...
846
00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:04,773
What are you doing?
847
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,031
Hey, what are you doing?
848
00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:08,693
Come on. No one
will ever find out.
849
00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:12,117
I don't know. I don't think...
850
00:42:12,142 --> 00:42:15,069
No, I don't.
I don't think that's um.
851
00:42:15,070 --> 00:42:17,458
I don't think I should do that.
852
00:42:17,459 --> 00:42:20,722
No I-I can't, I won't
so, you know that's
853
00:42:20,723 --> 00:42:22,121
Whoa. Hello. Okay.
854
00:42:22,122 --> 00:42:25,663
Kara! Kara! That's kissing.
Kara you need to stop
855
00:42:25,664 --> 00:42:26,548
Stop!
856
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:29,657
You don't think I'm pretty?
857
00:42:29,740 --> 00:42:34,541
Huh? Oh, no! You're very pretty, Kara.
You're very, very...
858
00:42:34,619 --> 00:42:36,371
Really? Yes, very pretty.
859
00:42:36,455 --> 00:42:37,877
But I... Very pretty. Thanks.
860
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:39,462
Oh, my God!
861
00:42:39,624 --> 00:42:42,878
Holy shit! What?
862
00:42:43,128 --> 00:42:44,129
(GIGGLING)
863
00:42:44,212 --> 00:42:45,213
Oh, my... Where did your...
864
00:42:45,297 --> 00:42:46,298
Come on.
865
00:42:46,465 --> 00:42:48,809
I can't think of
a better birthday gift.
866
00:42:48,967 --> 00:42:50,514
What about the new iPhone?
867
00:42:50,594 --> 00:42:52,562
Huh? Maybe a little pendant?
The new Nicki Minaj album?
868
00:42:52,637 --> 00:42:54,731
No. No? Boobies.
869
00:42:54,848 --> 00:42:56,145
I want you! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
870
00:42:56,224 --> 00:42:57,476
You can't... Don't do that.
871
00:42:57,559 --> 00:42:59,061
That's not good, don't...
872
00:42:59,144 --> 00:43:00,646
Come on, stop (ENGINE REVVING)
873
00:43:00,812 --> 00:43:02,689
Kara! Kara! Stop it.
874
00:43:03,315 --> 00:43:04,441
Shit!
875
00:43:04,524 --> 00:43:06,197
(TIRES SCREECHING)
876
00:43:06,485 --> 00:43:07,828
Whoa! (HORN HONKS)
877
00:43:08,820 --> 00:43:09,992
Shit. Kara?
878
00:43:10,655 --> 00:43:12,157
Holy Jesus! Kara?
879
00:43:12,324 --> 00:43:14,702
Kara! Kara!
Please wake up, Kara!
880
00:43:14,868 --> 00:43:16,541
Kara, wake up. Kara!
881
00:43:16,703 --> 00:43:17,704
Are you okay?
882
00:43:17,829 --> 00:43:18,921
Oh, Jesus, God!
883
00:43:18,997 --> 00:43:20,419
Oh, my God, are you all right?
884
00:43:21,041 --> 00:43:22,668
Hey, hi.
885
00:43:23,752 --> 00:43:25,846
Jim? Hey!
886
00:43:26,004 --> 00:43:28,553
What? This is crazy!
887
00:43:28,757 --> 00:43:30,134
Are you all right?
888
00:43:30,217 --> 00:43:33,687
Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm okay. I was just... Um...
889
00:43:33,845 --> 00:43:36,223
I was reaching for something.
890
00:43:36,389 --> 00:43:38,562
Everything's okay.
Everything's fine.
891
00:43:39,101 --> 00:43:40,444
I don't know if you've heard.
Mmm?
892
00:43:40,519 --> 00:43:41,520
Did you hear?
893
00:43:42,187 --> 00:43:44,781
I am in charge of the reunion.
894
00:43:44,940 --> 00:43:47,739
Oh! Yeah, no, that's...
Yeah, that's right.
895
00:43:47,901 --> 00:43:49,369
Got a whole '90s theme planned.
896
00:43:49,528 --> 00:43:51,280
Oh. That's...
897
00:43:51,446 --> 00:43:53,244
I booked Chumbawamba.
898
00:43:53,323 --> 00:43:55,371
Yeah. But the pricks
cancelled yesterday.
899
00:43:55,575 --> 00:43:58,374
Was a setback, but you know me,
900
00:43:58,578 --> 00:44:01,957
"I get knocked down but I
get up again." (CHUCKLES)
901
00:44:02,457 --> 00:44:03,629
(CHUCKLES)
902
00:44:03,708 --> 00:44:04,834
(MOANS GROGGILY)
903
00:44:04,918 --> 00:44:06,920
Oh, my God!
Okay, I see what's going on.
904
00:44:07,003 --> 00:44:08,004
(MOUTHING)
905
00:44:10,048 --> 00:44:11,140
(MOUTHING)
906
00:44:13,510 --> 00:44:14,682
Yep.
907
00:44:14,761 --> 00:44:15,887
I'll see you later, buddy.
908
00:44:16,054 --> 00:44:17,727
All right then, I'll see you.
909
00:44:20,225 --> 00:44:22,728
Jesus, God. Kara.
Kara, wake up.
910
00:44:22,894 --> 00:44:24,896
I just need a nap. What?
911
00:44:25,063 --> 00:44:27,157
Kara, this isn't time
for a nap. Kara, wake up.
912
00:44:27,315 --> 00:44:28,612
This isn't napping time.
(SNORING)
913
00:44:29,067 --> 00:44:31,411
Kara? Shit.
914
00:44:36,491 --> 00:44:40,337
Oh, God, this is bad.
This is very, very bad.
915
00:44:51,798 --> 00:44:53,141
What took you guys so long?
916
00:44:53,300 --> 00:44:55,348
We were looking for Kevin.
Couldn't find him.
917
00:44:55,510 --> 00:44:58,980
Plus, that hot piece of ass Oz is banging
got wasted, so we had to drop her off.
918
00:44:59,139 --> 00:45:00,140
You brought him?
919
00:45:00,223 --> 00:45:01,395
Of course they brought me.
920
00:45:01,516 --> 00:45:03,063
When you guys were busy
jacking off in high school,
921
00:45:03,143 --> 00:45:05,111
I was running this
drill every weekend.
922
00:45:05,270 --> 00:45:07,193
Now, let's see what
we are dealing with.
923
00:45:09,774 --> 00:45:10,775
Oh!
924
00:45:11,109 --> 00:45:13,111
Holy shit!
925
00:45:13,278 --> 00:45:14,245
Way to go, Jim.
926
00:45:14,321 --> 00:45:17,495
Shh. Okay, nothing happened, Stifler. Okay?
Nothing happened.
927
00:45:17,657 --> 00:45:18,658
Stop that!
928
00:45:18,867 --> 00:45:19,914
I'm sorry.
929
00:45:19,993 --> 00:45:21,415
So, Jim, what do you wanna do?
930
00:45:21,494 --> 00:45:22,746
I don't know.
931
00:45:22,829 --> 00:45:24,627
I can't just leave her
here naked, you know?
932
00:45:24,789 --> 00:45:27,463
I mean, if the cops come by
and find out I'm involved,
933
00:45:28,293 --> 00:45:29,465
I'm screwed.
934
00:45:29,628 --> 00:45:31,505
That leaves us
with two options.
935
00:45:32,464 --> 00:45:34,137
We dump the body or
we sneak her inside.
936
00:45:34,299 --> 00:45:36,301
Dump the body?
This isn't a mob hit.
937
00:45:36,468 --> 00:45:37,685
Okay, wait a second.
938
00:45:37,844 --> 00:45:41,189
I have been in her house
a million times to babysit.
939
00:45:41,348 --> 00:45:44,397
I can totally sneak her in
through the back door.
940
00:45:44,559 --> 00:45:47,153
I need you guys to
distract her parents.
941
00:45:47,312 --> 00:45:49,030
Do you think you can do that?
(SCOFFS)
942
00:45:49,397 --> 00:45:53,493
I'm an expert, Jim.
Trust me. I got this shit.
943
00:45:55,403 --> 00:45:56,780
(DOORBELL RINGS)
944
00:46:00,992 --> 00:46:02,539
Good evening, sir.
945
00:46:02,702 --> 00:46:04,545
My friend's car broke down,
946
00:46:04,704 --> 00:46:08,174
and we were just wondering if we
could use your phone to call AAA.
947
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,379
You mean to tell me that none
of you have cell phones?
948
00:46:18,510 --> 00:46:19,682
(GASPS)
949
00:46:20,220 --> 00:46:23,394
Oh, my God, I know you.
You were on Celebrity Dance Off.
950
00:46:23,556 --> 00:46:25,479
Oh, yeah!
951
00:46:25,558 --> 00:46:26,684
Ostreicher.
952
00:46:26,851 --> 00:46:28,068
Oh, yeah.
953
00:46:28,228 --> 00:46:29,354
Hey, come on in.
954
00:46:31,189 --> 00:46:32,782
That was very smooth, Stifler.
955
00:46:32,941 --> 00:46:34,193
Shut up, shitbreak.
956
00:46:34,359 --> 00:46:36,532
The last time I did this,
cell phones didn't exist.
957
00:46:38,488 --> 00:46:39,910
(DOOR SHUTS)
958
00:46:51,001 --> 00:46:52,002
(GASPING)
959
00:46:52,085 --> 00:46:53,211
Shit!
960
00:46:59,217 --> 00:47:00,434
Daddy.
961
00:47:02,095 --> 00:47:03,142
Look, Mom, Daddy!
962
00:47:03,221 --> 00:47:04,222
Shit!
963
00:47:17,652 --> 00:47:18,904
(SIGHS)
964
00:47:18,987 --> 00:47:20,739
Oh, fuck!
965
00:47:21,823 --> 00:47:23,416
Kara?
966
00:47:24,576 --> 00:47:25,577
Kara?
967
00:47:26,411 --> 00:47:27,458
(KARA GIGGLES)
968
00:47:27,537 --> 00:47:28,584
Kara?
969
00:47:28,747 --> 00:47:30,966
KARA: Gonna have to find me.
970
00:47:31,041 --> 00:47:32,213
Kara?
971
00:47:32,292 --> 00:47:33,293
(RECORDED MESSAGE PLAYING)
972
00:47:33,376 --> 00:47:35,378
Thank you, Sheranda.
You've been very helpful.
973
00:47:35,462 --> 00:47:37,885
You get a Triple
A-plus in my book.
974
00:47:38,048 --> 00:47:41,097
Oh, you take care, too.
Okay, yeah, bye-bye.
975
00:47:42,093 --> 00:47:46,473
So, that was AAA on the phone and
they should be here in a jiffy.
976
00:47:47,390 --> 00:47:49,108
Does this song sound familiar?
977
00:47:49,184 --> 00:47:50,982
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
978
00:47:54,397 --> 00:47:57,071
You were such a good dancer.
I felt so bad when you got voted off.
979
00:47:57,275 --> 00:47:58,322
Thank you.
980
00:47:58,485 --> 00:48:00,487
But I have to say you're
much sexier in person.
981
00:48:00,695 --> 00:48:04,666
Okay. Calm down there, Susan.
982
00:48:05,450 --> 00:48:08,078
Dude, she wants to fuck
you big time, dude.
983
00:48:08,244 --> 00:48:10,417
You got to hit that.
No fucking way.
984
00:48:10,580 --> 00:48:11,832
Do it for Jim, dude,
don't be selfish.
985
00:48:12,290 --> 00:48:15,134
Hey, you know what?
I think I have to go to the bathroom.
986
00:48:16,002 --> 00:48:18,096
Kara, this is not funny.
987
00:48:18,296 --> 00:48:20,970
Kara, come on! Kara, come out.
988
00:48:21,132 --> 00:48:22,349
Boo!
989
00:48:22,509 --> 00:48:23,806
Oh, my God!
990
00:48:23,831 --> 00:48:25,287
Okay. Right. Here
991
00:48:25,288 --> 00:48:26,384
Come on.
992
00:48:26,385 --> 00:48:27,500
Alright. Okay.
993
00:48:27,501 --> 00:48:28,298
Good. Okay.
994
00:48:28,299 --> 00:48:29,746
Alright. Come on.
995
00:48:29,747 --> 00:48:30,767
Okay, good.
996
00:48:31,207 --> 00:48:32,880
- Watch it
- You never could find me.
997
00:48:33,042 --> 00:48:35,761
Jim, I don't mean to alarm you
but you don't have much time.
998
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:36,921
Yes, I know.
999
00:48:37,088 --> 00:48:38,431
I like your scarf. Okay.
1000
00:48:38,589 --> 00:48:40,262
I like your breasts Door.
1001
00:48:40,425 --> 00:48:41,893
Would it be okay
if I get a picture?
1002
00:48:42,051 --> 00:48:43,052
Sure.
1003
00:48:47,557 --> 00:48:49,150
I know it's in here somewhere.
1004
00:48:49,225 --> 00:48:50,943
(MOUTHING)
1005
00:48:53,271 --> 00:48:55,239
Okay, a bottle of hair spray...
1006
00:48:55,314 --> 00:48:56,361
You guys all right?
1007
00:48:56,441 --> 00:48:57,784
Yeah. Yeah.
1008
00:48:58,568 --> 00:48:59,615
You know something?
1009
00:48:59,819 --> 00:49:04,620
I really was admiring how clean
your toilet was in your bathroom.
1010
00:49:05,158 --> 00:49:06,284
Thanks.
1011
00:49:06,951 --> 00:49:09,124
You know what?
I have to use the restroom, too.
1012
00:49:09,287 --> 00:49:10,413
No, you don't.
1013
00:49:16,502 --> 00:49:17,503
(CLEARS THROAT)
1014
00:49:18,004 --> 00:49:19,130
Let's get in bed. (GIGGLING)
1015
00:49:19,297 --> 00:49:20,344
Come on and get in bed with me?
1016
00:49:20,423 --> 00:49:21,549
No, I'm not getting in bed...
1017
00:49:21,632 --> 00:49:22,679
Come on. Get in bed with me.
1018
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,053
No, I'm not... Kara, please.
Oh, God. Please.
1019
00:49:25,136 --> 00:49:26,137
Oh, shit!
1020
00:49:27,305 --> 00:49:28,602
Stifler, what are
you doing here?
1021
00:49:28,765 --> 00:49:30,608
I just wanted another glimpse.
No.
1022
00:49:30,767 --> 00:49:32,189
Why'd you put her clothes
back on, dude? Boo.
1023
00:49:32,268 --> 00:49:33,485
You have to go.
1024
00:49:35,146 --> 00:49:36,363
What was that?
1025
00:49:36,481 --> 00:49:38,700
That sounded like
it came from outside.
1026
00:49:38,858 --> 00:49:40,701
No, that came from Kara's room.
1027
00:49:40,860 --> 00:49:41,952
Oh, Jesus.
1028
00:49:42,028 --> 00:49:43,029
KARA'S DAD: Kara?
1029
00:49:45,073 --> 00:49:46,074
Oh, my God.
1030
00:49:47,825 --> 00:49:49,042
Go, go, go!
1031
00:49:56,334 --> 00:49:57,711
What the hell's
going on in here?
1032
00:49:59,670 --> 00:50:00,967
Hi, Daddy.
1033
00:50:01,714 --> 00:50:02,761
How'd you get back in?
1034
00:50:03,841 --> 00:50:05,013
I don't remember.
1035
00:50:05,176 --> 00:50:06,644
You don't remember?
1036
00:50:07,512 --> 00:50:08,559
What was that sound?
1037
00:50:08,638 --> 00:50:09,605
I don't know.
1038
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:10,772
What do you mean,
you don't know?
1039
00:50:10,848 --> 00:50:11,849
I don't know.
1040
00:50:13,851 --> 00:50:15,194
You've been drinking,
haven't you?
1041
00:50:15,353 --> 00:50:16,479
No.
1042
00:50:16,646 --> 00:50:19,445
Kara, I told you these boys
try to get you drunk
1043
00:50:19,524 --> 00:50:21,151
so they can take
advantage of you.
1044
00:50:21,234 --> 00:50:22,827
I'm old enough
to know that, Dad.
1045
00:50:22,985 --> 00:50:24,578
Yeah, well, I don't
want to go to jail
1046
00:50:24,654 --> 00:50:26,577
for kicking some
horny kid's teeth in
1047
00:50:26,656 --> 00:50:28,408
but I will, believe me.
1048
00:50:28,491 --> 00:50:29,868
(cow MOOING)
1049
00:50:32,078 --> 00:50:33,204
What is that?
1050
00:50:33,371 --> 00:50:36,671
(LAUGHING) Oh, that's Mr. Moo!
1051
00:50:37,416 --> 00:50:40,215
Will you get him for me,
Daddy? Please.
1052
00:50:52,974 --> 00:50:54,146
(MOOING)
1053
00:50:57,436 --> 00:50:59,564
I can't be mad at my angel.
1054
00:51:05,570 --> 00:51:07,743
Happy birthday, princess.
1055
00:51:07,947 --> 00:51:09,039
Thanks, Dad.
1056
00:51:09,115 --> 00:51:10,116
(DOOR SHUTS)
1057
00:51:10,199 --> 00:51:11,166
(EXHALES)
1058
00:51:11,242 --> 00:51:13,244
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
1059
00:51:14,537 --> 00:51:15,880
(GRUNTING)
1060
00:51:18,541 --> 00:51:19,633
What are you doing?
1061
00:51:20,418 --> 00:51:21,761
Nothing.
1062
00:51:25,339 --> 00:51:26,636
Oh, jeez.
1063
00:51:28,885 --> 00:51:29,932
(WHISPERING) Stifler?
1064
00:51:31,095 --> 00:51:32,187
Stifler?
1065
00:51:32,263 --> 00:51:33,310
Up here, dude.
1066
00:51:34,765 --> 00:51:36,108
I told you I was an expert.
1067
00:51:37,268 --> 00:51:38,485
Oh, shit.
1068
00:51:39,145 --> 00:51:40,772
What the hell is going on now?
1069
00:51:43,691 --> 00:51:44,863
Hey.
1070
00:51:44,942 --> 00:51:46,819
Want to go to
a Justin Bieber concert?
1071
00:51:46,903 --> 00:51:48,325
Uh... Jim?
1072
00:51:48,613 --> 00:51:49,990
Stifler, come on. Come on!
1073
00:51:50,156 --> 00:51:51,453
Let's go.
1074
00:51:52,575 --> 00:51:55,328
You and you, stay here.
1075
00:51:55,828 --> 00:51:57,045
Don't push me.
1076
00:51:58,331 --> 00:51:59,799
Whoa! Oh, my God.
1077
00:52:02,793 --> 00:52:03,840
Ah!
1078
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:05,263
AJ: Kara, where
the hell are you?
1079
00:52:05,338 --> 00:52:07,136
I'm on my way to
your place and...
1080
00:52:10,468 --> 00:52:11,845
What the...
1081
00:52:11,928 --> 00:52:12,975
Fuck!
1082
00:52:16,891 --> 00:52:18,234
(WHOOPING)
1083
00:52:18,309 --> 00:52:20,107
What the hell is going on?
1084
00:52:21,020 --> 00:52:22,647
Oh, God!
1085
00:52:24,815 --> 00:52:25,987
(YAWNS)
1086
00:52:34,784 --> 00:52:37,162
Hey, stud.
1087
00:52:37,328 --> 00:52:39,171
I thought you'd never...
1088
00:52:39,330 --> 00:52:41,173
(SNORING)
1089
00:52:45,127 --> 00:52:46,344
(FARTS)
1090
00:52:47,296 --> 00:52:48,513
(SIGHS)
1091
00:53:00,268 --> 00:53:04,444
Oh, shit, shit.
We were supposed to...
1092
00:53:04,563 --> 00:53:05,610
No, it's fine.
1093
00:53:05,690 --> 00:53:07,692
What? No, God, it's not fine.
1094
00:53:08,734 --> 00:53:11,738
Shoot! I'm so sorry, Michelle.
I really... I wanted to, I just...
1095
00:53:11,904 --> 00:53:13,952
I'm going to drop
Ev at my grandma's
1096
00:53:14,031 --> 00:53:16,033
and I'll be back
this afternoon.
1097
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,168
No, Michelle, hold on.
1098
00:53:22,039 --> 00:53:23,507
Jim, I'm worried.
1099
00:53:24,583 --> 00:53:26,176
What are you worried about?
1100
00:53:26,335 --> 00:53:30,181
Just we're like so out of sync.
1101
00:53:32,258 --> 00:53:33,885
I just...
1102
00:53:34,051 --> 00:53:36,554
I don't know how much longer
we can go on like this.
1103
00:53:39,056 --> 00:53:43,277
I promise you I will do everything
I can to make it up to you.
1104
00:53:43,602 --> 00:53:44,899
Okay?
1105
00:53:45,062 --> 00:53:46,689
Stifler's having
a party tonight.
1106
00:53:47,857 --> 00:53:52,328
Okay, I know that doesn't
sound romantic or anything,
1107
00:53:52,403 --> 00:53:57,910
but remember our first time
was at a Stifler party.
1108
00:53:58,075 --> 00:53:59,622
You made me your bitch.
1109
00:54:02,246 --> 00:54:04,624
Yes. Yes, I did.
1110
00:54:24,143 --> 00:54:25,645
Tell me when, okay?
1111
00:54:25,978 --> 00:54:27,230
What the fuck?
1112
00:54:27,313 --> 00:54:28,530
(GASPS)
1113
00:54:36,614 --> 00:54:37,957
WOMAN: Mmm.
1114
00:54:42,953 --> 00:54:44,250
(MOUTHS)
1115
00:54:54,799 --> 00:54:57,097
So, Mia.
1116
00:54:58,094 --> 00:55:01,143
She's a free spirit.
1117
00:55:01,305 --> 00:55:02,807
She's something else.
1118
00:55:02,973 --> 00:55:04,475
Yeah, she is.
1119
00:55:06,519 --> 00:55:09,318
Wait a minute, do I sense
a little jealousy there?
1120
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:10,982
No. Mmm-mmm. No?
1121
00:55:11,148 --> 00:55:13,401
Hey, don't forget, you were
the one who broke up with me
1122
00:55:13,484 --> 00:55:14,781
before you went to med school.
1123
00:55:14,860 --> 00:55:19,036
Hey, you were moving to LA
with no return in sight.
1124
00:55:19,198 --> 00:55:21,667
You can't blame me for
wanting to settle down.
1125
00:55:21,992 --> 00:55:24,165
No, I don't.
1126
00:55:24,995 --> 00:55:27,748
I just don't
want you to settle.
1127
00:55:28,374 --> 00:55:30,547
Look who's jealous now.
1128
00:55:30,709 --> 00:55:33,508
I wouldn't call being
with Ron "settling."
1129
00:55:33,671 --> 00:55:36,174
Oh, no, he's gorgeous on paper.
1130
00:55:36,549 --> 00:55:37,971
What is that supposed to mean?
1131
00:55:38,342 --> 00:55:40,060
Nothing. Um...
1132
00:55:41,220 --> 00:55:44,315
I'm sorry. You're right.
1133
00:55:46,016 --> 00:55:47,689
I am a bit jealous.
1134
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:50,863
You know, it's funny.
1135
00:55:51,814 --> 00:55:55,364
In some ways, you've
completely changed,
1136
00:55:55,526 --> 00:55:58,496
and, in other ways,
you're exactly the same.
1137
00:55:58,654 --> 00:56:00,702
Heather, you can believe this,
1138
00:56:00,865 --> 00:56:02,367
nothing's changed.
1139
00:56:04,827 --> 00:56:05,874
Oh, my God.
1140
00:56:06,036 --> 00:56:07,663
Chris Ostreicher?
1141
00:56:08,205 --> 00:56:09,377
Hi, girls.
1142
00:56:09,457 --> 00:56:10,583
Can I get a pic?
1143
00:56:10,749 --> 00:56:11,841
Sure.
1144
00:56:17,506 --> 00:56:18,553
Dad?
1145
00:56:20,259 --> 00:56:21,556
Oh, hey, Dad. Hey, Jim.
1146
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:23,346
I'm just going to
run out for a sec.
1147
00:56:23,512 --> 00:56:26,356
I was just watching
your old Bar Mitzvah tape.
1148
00:56:28,225 --> 00:56:29,772
(LAUGHING) I got
your Jew scarf!
1149
00:56:29,935 --> 00:56:31,562
YOUNG JIM:
Give it back, Stifler.
1150
00:56:31,687 --> 00:56:32,904
(LAUGHS)
1151
00:56:34,356 --> 00:56:39,783
I think I'm the happiest man
in the world thanks to you.
1152
00:56:45,367 --> 00:56:47,290
Yeah, I miss her too, Dad.
1153
00:56:49,288 --> 00:56:50,460
I know.
1154
00:56:52,666 --> 00:56:54,213
(SIGHS) (CLEARS THROAT)
1155
00:56:58,797 --> 00:57:02,768
Dad, you've always been
there to give me advice.
1156
00:57:03,093 --> 00:57:06,768
But if there's anything
that you want to talk about,
1157
00:57:08,098 --> 00:57:09,600
I'm here for you.
1158
00:57:11,143 --> 00:57:13,612
Yeah, I don't think
there's anything
1159
00:57:13,687 --> 00:57:16,110
I really need
to talk about, Jim.
1160
00:57:17,066 --> 00:57:20,115
Do you think maybe
it's time for you to
1161
00:57:20,569 --> 00:57:21,946
meet someone else?
1162
00:57:23,113 --> 00:57:25,161
Dad, it's okay.
1163
00:57:25,324 --> 00:57:29,454
What you're going through
is perfectly natural.
1164
00:57:30,371 --> 00:57:33,170
You know, there are
services out there...
1165
00:57:33,332 --> 00:57:34,379
Services? Yeah.
1166
00:57:34,458 --> 00:57:35,675
Like what?
1167
00:57:35,834 --> 00:57:37,632
A happy ending? What's that?
1168
00:57:37,795 --> 00:57:38,842
Because I won't go there.
1169
00:57:38,921 --> 00:57:39,922
Oh, my God.
1170
00:57:40,047 --> 00:57:42,049
I don't need that...
I don't need that kind of massage, Jim.
1171
00:57:42,132 --> 00:57:43,224
That's not what I was...
1172
00:57:43,300 --> 00:57:44,893
Because, you know what,
it's dangerous.
1173
00:57:44,969 --> 00:57:46,437
And you can pick things up.
1174
00:57:46,512 --> 00:57:48,389
You don't even wanna know
what you can pick up.
1175
00:57:48,556 --> 00:57:50,058
Talk to your uncle Mort.
I'd rather not.
1176
00:57:50,140 --> 00:57:51,357
He was in the hospital
for two weeks.
1177
00:57:51,433 --> 00:57:52,901
That's disgusting.
1178
00:57:56,146 --> 00:57:58,649
I was talking about
(CLEARS THROAT)
1179
00:57:59,358 --> 00:58:00,951
online dating services.
1180
00:58:01,235 --> 00:58:02,236
(CHUCKLING)
1181
00:58:02,653 --> 00:58:03,700
No, Jim.
1182
00:58:03,862 --> 00:58:06,911
Yeah, right, at my age?
I don't think so.
1183
00:58:07,074 --> 00:58:09,076
I've been out of
the game for so long.
1184
00:58:09,159 --> 00:58:10,661
There wasn't even
a game back then.
1185
00:58:10,744 --> 00:58:14,749
Dad, don't worry.
I'll hook you up.
1186
00:58:20,004 --> 00:58:21,301
JIM: Do you have those photos?
1187
00:58:21,672 --> 00:58:23,265
Here you go.
1188
00:58:23,591 --> 00:58:24,592
Wow.
1189
00:58:24,675 --> 00:58:25,847
Yeah. Oh.
1190
00:58:26,010 --> 00:58:27,262
We might need something
a little more recent.
1191
00:58:27,344 --> 00:58:28,345
Do you think?
1192
00:58:30,014 --> 00:58:33,109
Do you have something
that's a bit sexier?
1193
00:58:33,934 --> 00:58:35,151
Gotcha.
1194
00:58:39,231 --> 00:58:40,232
Did you...
1195
00:58:40,858 --> 00:58:42,075
(CLEARS THROAT) Favorite music.
1196
00:58:42,359 --> 00:58:43,360
Um...
1197
00:58:43,611 --> 00:58:44,988
Herman's Hermits.
1198
00:58:45,362 --> 00:58:46,363
Okay.
1199
00:58:47,197 --> 00:58:48,164
Oh...
1200
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:51,210
Girls, one at a time, please.
1201
00:58:51,535 --> 00:58:52,707
JIM: Interests and hobbies.
1202
00:58:52,870 --> 00:58:53,962
Sudoku.
1203
00:58:54,121 --> 00:58:55,213
We'll come back to this one.
1204
00:59:02,129 --> 00:59:04,131
LEVENSTEIN: Are we sure we're
not taking off too much?
1205
00:59:04,298 --> 00:59:07,017
These caterpillars are
kind of my trademark.
1206
00:59:07,343 --> 00:59:08,344
(LEVENSTEIN GRUNTS)
1207
00:59:08,886 --> 00:59:11,560
Okay... Perfect.
1208
00:59:11,722 --> 00:59:14,145
Take a look. I'm nervous.
1209
00:59:18,062 --> 00:59:21,066
Oh, that's fantastic!
1210
00:59:21,231 --> 00:59:24,235
That is a great look for me!
1211
00:59:24,485 --> 00:59:25,486
Huh?
1212
00:59:25,569 --> 00:59:29,199
Leaner lines.
I still have mobility.
1213
00:59:30,199 --> 00:59:32,167
Why didn't I do
this 30 years ago?
1214
00:59:32,242 --> 00:59:33,243
Looking good.
1215
00:59:33,410 --> 00:59:35,378
Why don't we test this
new look out tonight?
1216
00:59:35,704 --> 00:59:36,705
Oh, um...
1217
00:59:37,081 --> 00:59:40,460
The thing is, Stifler is
throwing a party tonight.
1218
00:59:40,751 --> 00:59:42,594
Oh! Well, another time.
1219
00:59:42,753 --> 00:59:44,972
But you could come with us.
1220
00:59:45,589 --> 00:59:46,886
It would be nice to
get out of the house.
1221
00:59:47,049 --> 00:59:48,596
I do have to warn you, though,
1222
00:59:48,759 --> 00:59:52,013
Stifler's parties
can get a little.
1223
00:59:52,179 --> 00:59:53,351
Wild.
1224
00:59:54,390 --> 00:59:56,392
(BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING)
1225
00:59:58,185 --> 00:59:59,607
(INDISTINCT)
1226
01:00:05,567 --> 01:00:08,946
What the fuck is this?
1227
01:00:09,780 --> 01:00:11,782
Who the hell changed the music?
1228
01:00:11,949 --> 01:00:14,247
Sorry, we thought this
was more baby-friendly.
1229
01:00:14,410 --> 01:00:17,209
Didn't we? Yes, we did.
1230
01:00:17,371 --> 01:00:19,089
Stifmeister!
1231
01:00:19,331 --> 01:00:21,299
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
1232
01:00:21,750 --> 01:00:22,876
(SPITS) Ch!
1233
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:23,961
Bluck!
1234
01:00:24,378 --> 01:00:25,595
Chester!
1235
01:00:28,674 --> 01:00:30,392
What have you
cock-smokers been up to?
1236
01:00:30,551 --> 01:00:32,849
Well, we just got engaged.
Yeah.
1237
01:00:33,011 --> 01:00:35,514
What? That's so fucking gay.
1238
01:00:37,391 --> 01:00:39,644
Yeah, Stifler, we are gay.
1239
01:00:40,144 --> 01:00:41,566
Half the lacrosse team was gay.
1240
01:00:41,645 --> 01:00:43,773
You must have
known that, right?
1241
01:00:43,897 --> 01:00:46,446
Dude, you walked in on Doug
and Barry in the shower.
1242
01:00:47,776 --> 01:00:49,494
I just thought
they were wrestling.
1243
01:00:50,757 --> 01:00:53,683
- They were
- Yeah they definitely were
1244
01:00:53,684 --> 01:00:56,024
They just wasn't a
loser that night
1245
01:00:56,025 --> 01:00:56,609
Oh.
1246
01:01:02,105 --> 01:01:04,153
Are we sure this is Stifler's?
1247
01:01:04,775 --> 01:01:05,776
Ooh!
1248
01:01:05,859 --> 01:01:07,202
Hors d'oeuvres!
1249
01:01:07,319 --> 01:01:08,946
Why don't you give
this to our host, son?
1250
01:01:10,948 --> 01:01:11,949
Hmm.
1251
01:01:12,616 --> 01:01:14,960
Oh, my God! Look who it is.
1252
01:01:15,077 --> 01:01:16,169
Hey.
1253
01:01:18,288 --> 01:01:19,710
Sorry for interrupting
you guys last night.
1254
01:01:20,165 --> 01:01:22,042
Bravo, by the way.
1255
01:01:22,209 --> 01:01:24,962
Most wives stop doing that
after they get the ring.
1256
01:01:25,128 --> 01:01:26,971
What are you talking about?
Did you change your hair color?
1257
01:01:27,130 --> 01:01:32,478
So, is your buddy, the other
MILF guy, here tonight?
1258
01:01:32,636 --> 01:01:34,479
I thought you always come
to these things together.
1259
01:01:35,305 --> 01:01:39,310
Let's just say that friendship
is a two-way street.
1260
01:01:40,852 --> 01:01:42,354
Excuse me.
1261
01:01:44,523 --> 01:01:45,524
Mmm.
1262
01:01:45,816 --> 01:01:47,693
Could this party get any lamer?
1263
01:01:48,735 --> 01:01:50,328
It's not so bad.
1264
01:01:51,822 --> 01:01:53,495
You want some E?
1265
01:01:53,657 --> 01:01:55,375
No. Why do you have that?
1266
01:01:55,826 --> 01:01:58,204
No one else here
probably has any.
1267
01:01:58,370 --> 01:01:59,417
Are you sure you
don't want one?
1268
01:01:59,580 --> 01:02:00,581
Yeah.
1269
01:02:00,706 --> 01:02:01,878
No... Yes.
1270
01:02:01,957 --> 01:02:02,958
No.
1271
01:02:03,041 --> 01:02:05,214
Okay. Fine. More for me, then.
1272
01:02:10,716 --> 01:02:12,013
And there they are.
1273
01:02:12,175 --> 01:02:13,347
JIM: Finchy.
1274
01:02:14,386 --> 01:02:17,890
There you guys are. Look around.
Can you believe this shit?
1275
01:02:18,056 --> 01:02:19,854
Yeah, man. Nice work.
1276
01:02:20,017 --> 01:02:21,439
For you.
1277
01:02:21,518 --> 01:02:23,270
What the hell am I
supposed to do with this?
1278
01:02:23,437 --> 01:02:24,905
That's called wine, Stifler.
1279
01:02:25,063 --> 01:02:26,690
No, no, no, no,
not at my party.
1280
01:02:26,773 --> 01:02:28,070
I'm going to get us some shots.
1281
01:02:29,484 --> 01:02:30,531
Hey, Kev.
1282
01:02:30,611 --> 01:02:32,204
Can I talk to you
guys for a sec?
1283
01:02:32,529 --> 01:02:34,531
Yeah, sure. Wait here,
I'll be right back.
1284
01:02:36,700 --> 01:02:38,247
So, you brought the goods?
1285
01:02:38,452 --> 01:02:39,704
Right here.
1286
01:02:39,870 --> 01:02:41,417
I want to see.
1287
01:02:43,874 --> 01:02:46,878
What the...
Where did those fuckers go?
1288
01:02:47,210 --> 01:02:48,211
Hello, Steven.
1289
01:02:48,754 --> 01:02:50,552
Mr. Levenstein. Yes.
1290
01:02:50,631 --> 01:02:51,723
You made it.
1291
01:02:51,882 --> 01:02:54,510
It is so great to see
all you kids back in town.
1292
01:02:54,593 --> 01:02:55,640
Hmm.
1293
01:02:55,719 --> 01:02:59,098
And what a terrific soiree
you're throwing here tonight.
1294
01:02:59,264 --> 01:03:01,107
Just wonderful!
1295
01:03:01,266 --> 01:03:04,941
You know what?
I'm going to get you fucked up.
1296
01:03:05,020 --> 01:03:06,317
Hmm? Have a shot.
1297
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:08,073
Oh! No, no, no.
1298
01:03:08,231 --> 01:03:11,610
I don't think so, Steven.
I'm not much of a drinker.
1299
01:03:11,777 --> 01:03:13,745
Drink it. Drink it!
Drink it! No, I can't.
1300
01:03:13,904 --> 01:03:15,326
Drink it! Drink it!
1301
01:03:17,407 --> 01:03:18,499
Awesome! Let's do another one.
1302
01:03:18,575 --> 01:03:19,747
(STRAINED) I don't think so.
1303
01:03:19,826 --> 01:03:22,170
Look, Kev, you don't know for
sure if anything happened.
1304
01:03:22,245 --> 01:03:25,590
I woke up next to her in bed,
and all our clothes were off.
1305
01:03:25,749 --> 01:03:28,423
I mean, whatever happened,
I feel guilty.
1306
01:03:28,585 --> 01:03:30,258
Kevin, in France,
1307
01:03:30,420 --> 01:03:34,095
it's only considered cheating if
your wife catches you in the act.
1308
01:03:36,259 --> 01:03:37,260
(LAUGHING)
1309
01:03:37,469 --> 01:03:38,470
She's here.
1310
01:03:40,764 --> 01:03:42,186
I gotta go.
1311
01:03:42,474 --> 01:03:44,101
All right, get ready.
1312
01:03:44,267 --> 01:03:46,736
Wait for it. Wait for it!
1313
01:03:46,812 --> 01:03:47,859
Wait for it!
1314
01:03:47,938 --> 01:03:49,485
Here she comes!
1315
01:03:49,898 --> 01:03:50,945
Yeah!
1316
01:03:51,024 --> 01:03:52,776
Fuck yeah, Mr. Levenstein!
1317
01:03:52,943 --> 01:03:55,071
The name is Noah, motherfucker.
1318
01:03:55,153 --> 01:03:56,655
(ALL CHEERING)
1319
01:03:58,281 --> 01:03:59,282
Mmm.
1320
01:03:59,449 --> 01:04:00,792
Feel the sofa.
1321
01:04:00,951 --> 01:04:03,625
It's so smooth.
1322
01:04:04,121 --> 01:04:06,965
It feels like a Smurf's ass.
1323
01:04:07,124 --> 01:04:08,467
Did you feel it?
1324
01:04:08,625 --> 01:04:11,674
Okay. Mia, can you...
1325
01:04:13,171 --> 01:04:15,139
Hey, guys. Sorry we're late.
1326
01:04:15,340 --> 01:04:16,341
Hi.
1327
01:04:17,384 --> 01:04:20,479
Hey, I got a treat for everybody.
I picked something up.
1328
01:04:20,637 --> 01:04:23,311
Celebrity Dance Off, Season Six.
My man, Chris Ostreicher.
1329
01:04:23,390 --> 01:04:24,391
Oh, my God.
1330
01:04:27,018 --> 01:04:29,020
We have to watch this.
1331
01:04:29,187 --> 01:04:31,861
Who wants to see my
baby shake his booty?
1332
01:04:31,982 --> 01:04:33,404
(ALL CLAMORING IN AGREEMENT)
1333
01:04:33,483 --> 01:04:34,951
I know I do.
1334
01:04:35,110 --> 01:04:37,454
JDate? You have
to be kidding me.
1335
01:04:37,612 --> 01:04:40,866
If you want quality vag, you
have to go out into the wild.
1336
01:04:41,032 --> 01:04:42,284
"Vag"?
1337
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,003
What is that, a half a vagina?
1338
01:04:46,455 --> 01:04:49,334
You know, in my day
we called it a beaver.
1339
01:04:49,499 --> 01:04:53,345
And let me tell you something,
I snagged a pelt or two.
1340
01:04:53,503 --> 01:04:54,550
I bet you did.
1341
01:04:54,671 --> 01:04:55,672
Dad?
1342
01:04:55,756 --> 01:04:58,179
Hey, Jim, your dad is so
much cooler than you.
1343
01:04:58,258 --> 01:04:59,931
Stifler, please stop
getting my dad drunk.
1344
01:05:00,010 --> 01:05:02,354
No, he's just trying
to get me some vag.
1345
01:05:02,429 --> 01:05:03,430
Okay, come on.
1346
01:05:03,513 --> 01:05:05,186
Yeah! Hey, hey.
1347
01:05:05,348 --> 01:05:07,021
Let the man make
his own decisions.
1348
01:05:07,184 --> 01:05:08,231
Stop. Come on.
1349
01:05:08,310 --> 01:05:09,311
Don't listen to him.
1350
01:05:09,978 --> 01:05:12,322
I want you to dust off
that old dick of yours,
1351
01:05:12,481 --> 01:05:14,483
go out there, and get some ass.
1352
01:05:14,649 --> 01:05:15,821
Oh! Just go out there.
1353
01:05:15,901 --> 01:05:17,027
I think I Will.
1354
01:05:17,194 --> 01:05:19,993
Dad, stop, okay?
It's exactly what I'm gonna...
1355
01:05:20,071 --> 01:05:22,745
I'm sorry, but you have had a
little too much to drink tonight,
1356
01:05:22,866 --> 01:05:24,118
and I'm not letting you...
No, no.
1357
01:05:24,201 --> 01:05:27,580
No, son, I haven't
hardly had one drink.
1358
01:05:27,746 --> 01:05:30,044
And you know I love you.
1359
01:05:30,207 --> 01:05:34,428
I do love you, but you need to
1360
01:05:34,753 --> 01:05:35,754
(BURPS)
1361
01:05:35,837 --> 01:05:36,838
chillax.
1362
01:05:37,422 --> 01:05:39,516
"Chillax"?
Dad, where are you going?
1363
01:05:39,591 --> 01:05:41,059
Do you see him? Jim! Jim!
1364
01:05:41,218 --> 01:05:42,891
Let him go.
Let him have some fun.
1365
01:05:42,969 --> 01:05:43,970
(SIGHS)
1366
01:05:44,054 --> 01:05:47,729
And now we can have some fun.
1367
01:05:48,934 --> 01:05:49,935
Come on.
1368
01:05:51,728 --> 01:05:53,196
Excuse me.
1369
01:05:53,355 --> 01:05:55,232
I'm sorry, excuse me.
1370
01:05:55,398 --> 01:05:56,490
Is this a washroom?
1371
01:05:57,943 --> 01:05:59,991
It doesn't even occur to you
that you're self-centered
1372
01:06:00,070 --> 01:06:02,994
because you are so
self-centered and...
1373
01:06:03,073 --> 01:06:04,950
You know what?
Hold on a second.
1374
01:06:06,910 --> 01:06:08,036
Can I help you?
1375
01:06:09,579 --> 01:06:10,956
Who might you be?
1376
01:06:11,122 --> 01:06:12,749
I'm Stifler's mom.
1377
01:06:13,250 --> 01:06:14,251
Oh.
1378
01:06:14,793 --> 01:06:16,591
I'm Jim's dad.
1379
01:06:17,921 --> 01:06:19,423
Later, fucker.
1380
01:06:22,092 --> 01:06:24,515
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
1381
01:06:38,275 --> 01:06:41,404
Oh, my God, this is the most
ridiculous thing I've ever seen.
1382
01:06:44,573 --> 01:06:45,540
(SHOUTING)
1383
01:06:45,615 --> 01:06:46,616
(ALL CHEERING)
1384
01:06:48,869 --> 01:06:50,746
Dude, you have an amazing body!
1385
01:06:50,829 --> 01:06:55,300
Everybody, raise the roof
for Chris Ostreicher!
1386
01:06:55,375 --> 01:06:57,377
You have really been
bringing it all season long.
1387
01:06:57,460 --> 01:07:01,966
But now it's time, Chris, to see if
America thinks you done brought it.
1388
01:07:02,632 --> 01:07:04,054
You ready? Let's do it.
1389
01:07:04,134 --> 01:07:05,135
Let's see the results.
1390
01:07:09,973 --> 01:07:11,190
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIM
IN DISAPPOINTMENT)
1391
01:07:11,266 --> 01:07:13,985
What?
Gilbert Gottfried and not you?
1392
01:07:14,144 --> 01:07:15,270
Fucking bullshit!
1393
01:07:15,437 --> 01:07:17,565
Chris, I'm so sorry, man.
1394
01:07:17,731 --> 01:07:22,328
Well, we saw you jam.
Now, it's time to scram.
1395
01:07:23,278 --> 01:07:24,575
Do you have any last
thoughts for the audience?
1396
01:07:24,738 --> 01:07:27,241
Okay, guys, we can
probably end it there.
1397
01:07:27,407 --> 01:07:29,660
What? No, are you kidding?
I haven't seen this.
1398
01:07:29,826 --> 01:07:32,170
I think what I've
learned is to be true
1399
01:07:32,245 --> 01:07:33,337
to myself,
1400
01:07:33,496 --> 01:07:36,500
because that's what
dancing is, it's truth.
1401
01:07:36,666 --> 01:07:38,760
And maybe,
1402
01:07:39,002 --> 01:07:42,176
if we just danced
a little bit more,
1403
01:07:42,339 --> 01:07:45,718
there would be no more wars.
1404
01:07:46,426 --> 01:07:47,518
(SNICKERING)
1405
01:07:47,594 --> 01:07:49,016
No more war!
1406
01:07:49,095 --> 01:07:51,393
Well, that is a thoughtful
take on foreign policy.
1407
01:07:52,891 --> 01:07:55,394
HOST: Stick around. Hulk Hogan gets
jiggy-friggy, right after this.
1408
01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:56,857
You don't want to miss this.
Stick around.
1409
01:07:58,980 --> 01:08:00,277
(SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION)
1410
01:08:05,737 --> 01:08:06,909
Hey.
1411
01:08:07,280 --> 01:08:09,374
If you want my opinion,
I think you got cheated.
1412
01:08:11,451 --> 01:08:12,623
Are you okay?
1413
01:08:13,536 --> 01:08:15,209
You know,
1414
01:08:15,956 --> 01:08:18,960
when you lose something that's important
to you, it doesn't feel very good.
1415
01:08:19,584 --> 01:08:21,803
Oz, it's just a show.
1416
01:08:22,420 --> 01:08:24,969
I'm not talking about the show.
1417
01:08:32,180 --> 01:08:34,057
RON: Hey, Heather,
you down there?
1418
01:08:34,683 --> 01:08:36,151
Um, coming!
1419
01:08:37,185 --> 01:08:38,562
Oh, my God.
1420
01:08:38,728 --> 01:08:40,025
Wait here, I'll be right back.
1421
01:08:41,690 --> 01:08:43,863
I can't tell you how many times
I walked into Steven's room
1422
01:08:44,025 --> 01:08:46,869
and I caught him in the
middle of sex with some girl.
1423
01:08:47,028 --> 01:08:49,827
At least he was with
a real, live human girl.
1424
01:08:49,990 --> 01:08:51,207
What are you talking about?
1425
01:08:51,282 --> 01:08:55,412
I walked into the kitchen once,
and I saw Jim humping a pie.
1426
01:08:57,497 --> 01:09:01,127
He turned the damn thing into a
crumble in about two seconds.
1427
01:09:05,839 --> 01:09:07,432
I can top that.
1428
01:09:07,590 --> 01:09:08,807
I once walked into my bedroom
1429
01:09:08,883 --> 01:09:12,262
and I caught Steven sticking
my hairbrush up his ass.
1430
01:09:16,016 --> 01:09:18,189
No, and it wasn't
the handle side, either.
1431
01:09:21,730 --> 01:09:22,731
Oh!
1432
01:09:24,107 --> 01:09:26,451
No, no, no.
1433
01:09:27,944 --> 01:09:32,370
A pretty lady like you shouldn't
be drinking quite so much.
1434
01:09:33,158 --> 01:09:34,501
And neither should I.
1435
01:09:41,124 --> 01:09:42,467
How about a joint, then?
1436
01:09:45,503 --> 01:09:49,633
We don't have to wait 13 years
to see each other again.
1437
01:09:49,799 --> 01:09:51,392
Yeah, true.
1438
01:09:51,551 --> 01:09:55,522
And I guess I could come along
on one of your adventures.
1439
01:09:55,680 --> 01:09:58,559
Am I good sidekick material?
1440
01:09:58,641 --> 01:09:59,688
Sidekick?
1441
01:09:59,768 --> 01:10:04,740
I think you are a lot more
than sidekick material.
1442
01:10:10,487 --> 01:10:12,330
Is everything okay?
1443
01:10:14,991 --> 01:10:16,993
It's better than ever.
1444
01:10:19,829 --> 01:10:20,876
Mmm. Mmm.
1445
01:10:20,955 --> 01:10:22,298
Okay, wait, wait.
1446
01:10:22,457 --> 01:10:26,303
I don't think we're dressed
appropriately for the occasion.
1447
01:10:26,461 --> 01:10:28,008
Put that on.
1448
01:10:28,171 --> 01:10:29,514
Wait, where are you going?
1449
01:10:29,589 --> 01:10:32,513
To change. Be back soon.
1450
01:10:43,019 --> 01:10:44,236
Dudes!
1451
01:10:46,022 --> 01:10:47,615
BOTH: What's up, bro?
1452
01:10:48,566 --> 01:10:50,534
WOMAN: Big Stiffy?
1453
01:10:50,693 --> 01:10:52,787
Blowjob Lipstein.
1454
01:10:55,740 --> 01:10:58,539
Oh, you have to be
fucking kidding me!
1455
01:10:58,743 --> 01:10:59,869
Excuse me?
1456
01:11:06,584 --> 01:11:07,631
Okay.
1457
01:11:08,253 --> 01:11:11,427
What the hell are you doing?
You just expect me to blow you?
1458
01:11:11,506 --> 01:11:12,553
Yeah!
1459
01:11:12,715 --> 01:11:14,092
I'm out of here.
1460
01:11:14,259 --> 01:11:15,761
Wait. Wait, Wait!
1461
01:11:15,927 --> 01:11:17,395
Look, I get it.
1462
01:11:17,554 --> 01:11:19,227
You're self-conscious
about your body.
1463
01:11:19,931 --> 01:11:22,775
Don't worry. I was going to
shut the lights off anyway.
1464
01:11:22,934 --> 01:11:25,562
You are the same douchebag
that you were in high school.
1465
01:11:26,062 --> 01:11:29,783
You just expect me to do
everything while I get nothing?
1466
01:11:29,941 --> 01:11:30,942
Later.
1467
01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:32,242
No, no!
1468
01:11:34,737 --> 01:11:35,954
(SIGHS)
1469
01:11:36,406 --> 01:11:38,283
Let's make a deal.
1470
01:11:39,576 --> 01:11:42,955
I'll get you off,
you get me off.
1471
01:11:43,121 --> 01:11:44,998
What do you say?
1472
01:11:45,331 --> 01:11:46,583
Fine.
1473
01:11:47,250 --> 01:11:49,093
But I am putting you to work.
1474
01:11:49,460 --> 01:11:50,837
Holy shit.
1475
01:11:52,005 --> 01:11:53,757
Chow time!
1476
01:11:53,923 --> 01:11:54,970
(GROANS)
1477
01:11:57,177 --> 01:11:59,054
(SIGHS) There you are!
1478
01:11:59,137 --> 01:12:01,936
I've been looking
all over for you.
1479
01:12:02,098 --> 01:12:04,692
Listen, we really need to...
1480
01:12:06,436 --> 01:12:07,938
What are you doing?
1481
01:12:08,104 --> 01:12:09,526
Taking what's mine.
1482
01:12:09,898 --> 01:12:11,241
(GROANING)
1483
01:12:12,108 --> 01:12:14,782
No, I just wanted to hear
the sound of your voice.
1484
01:12:15,069 --> 01:12:17,618
Aw, is everything okay?
You seem stressed.
1485
01:12:18,031 --> 01:12:19,658
Stressed?
1486
01:12:21,492 --> 01:12:23,290
There you are!
1487
01:12:24,787 --> 01:12:26,835
No, no, no.
1488
01:12:26,998 --> 01:12:30,719
I have to go right now, but I'll
call you back in a little bit.
1489
01:12:30,877 --> 01:12:34,131
Okay. And don't worry, I won't
watch Gossip Girl without you.
1490
01:12:34,255 --> 01:12:35,222
I miss you, babe.
1491
01:12:35,298 --> 01:12:36,720
I miss you, too.
1492
01:12:40,136 --> 01:12:43,640
Listen, Vicky,
about last night,
1493
01:12:44,515 --> 01:12:45,812
that wasn't me.
1494
01:12:45,975 --> 01:12:48,069
With what happened...
1495
01:12:48,728 --> 01:12:51,322
I don't know.
It might be normal in your world.
1496
01:12:51,481 --> 01:12:53,233
What do you think happened?
1497
01:12:53,691 --> 01:12:56,035
Well, all our clothes
were on the floor.
1498
01:12:56,194 --> 01:12:57,491
Yeah, because
they were soaking wet
1499
01:12:57,570 --> 01:12:59,243
from when you got drunk
and fell in the lake.
1500
01:12:59,405 --> 01:13:00,907
I took care of you.
1501
01:13:01,074 --> 01:13:03,918
So, we didn't have sex?
1502
01:13:04,077 --> 01:13:05,203
Of course not.
1503
01:13:05,870 --> 01:13:07,838
Oh, thank God!
1504
01:13:10,250 --> 01:13:13,094
I'm glad you think
so highly of me.
1505
01:13:14,128 --> 01:13:15,175
No.
1506
01:13:15,672 --> 01:13:17,265
Vicky, wait.
1507
01:13:18,258 --> 01:13:21,353
MIA: Oh, yeah!
Oh, my God! (MOANING)
1508
01:13:21,511 --> 01:13:23,013
Mia, stop.
1509
01:13:24,681 --> 01:13:26,024
9l", my God, yeah!
1510
01:13:26,182 --> 01:13:27,399
Mia, get off!
1511
01:13:27,475 --> 01:13:29,352
I'm about to! I'm about to!
1512
01:13:29,435 --> 01:13:30,436
(SCREAMING)
1513
01:13:31,604 --> 01:13:32,696
Heather.
1514
01:13:35,024 --> 01:13:36,071
What the hell?
1515
01:13:37,193 --> 01:13:38,866
You have something going on
with this skank?
1516
01:13:40,363 --> 01:13:43,037
Who are you calling a
skank, you fucking bitch?
1517
01:13:43,574 --> 01:13:45,292
Whoa! Whoa! (MIA SCREAMING)
1518
01:13:45,743 --> 01:13:46,915
Stop it! Stop!
1519
01:13:47,078 --> 01:13:48,079
Stop it!
1520
01:13:49,706 --> 01:13:51,458
OW! What the fuck?
1521
01:13:51,624 --> 01:13:53,797
That's my extension, you bitch!
1522
01:13:53,960 --> 01:13:55,587
You motherfucker!
1523
01:13:55,753 --> 01:13:58,006
No, Mia! Wait a minute!
1524
01:13:59,257 --> 01:14:02,227
By the way,
I fucked Mario Lopez!
1525
01:14:02,552 --> 01:14:04,600
(BONES CRACKING) (GROANING)
1526
01:14:06,723 --> 01:14:07,724
Ooh...
1527
01:14:10,643 --> 01:14:13,237
Okay, it's my turn now.
1528
01:14:13,396 --> 01:14:15,899
Uh-uh. Not this time.
1529
01:14:16,065 --> 01:14:17,863
Wait, what about our deal?
1530
01:14:18,026 --> 01:14:21,621
Now you know how it
feels, Big Stiffy.
1531
01:14:28,786 --> 01:14:30,129
Gross!
1532
01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:37,661
Fucking yuck
1533
01:14:47,582 --> 01:14:48,834
(SNORING)
1534
01:14:54,631 --> 01:14:57,885
You didn't actually think I'd
fall asleep again, did you?
1535
01:14:58,051 --> 01:14:59,894
As long as you're mine,
I'm happy.
1536
01:15:00,053 --> 01:15:01,771
Jesus, Kara.
What are you doing here?
1537
01:15:01,930 --> 01:15:04,103
Your creepy friend invited
me and all my girlfriends.
1538
01:15:04,265 --> 01:15:06,643
Nice outfit, by the way.
Very kinky.
1539
01:15:07,519 --> 01:15:08,566
(POUNDING ON DOOR) Oh, shit.
1540
01:15:08,770 --> 01:15:10,989
Don't worry. I locked it.
1541
01:15:13,566 --> 01:15:14,863
Oh, Jesus.
1542
01:15:18,488 --> 01:15:21,537
What the hell kind of freaky
shit is going on in here?
1543
01:15:21,699 --> 01:15:22,951
AJ, what are you doing here?
1544
01:15:23,117 --> 01:15:24,994
I followed you.
I had to see it with my own eyes.
1545
01:15:25,161 --> 01:15:28,791
First you fuck with my jet ski,
then you fuck my girlfriend?
1546
01:15:28,957 --> 01:15:31,210
No! God, no! Nothing happened.
1547
01:15:31,376 --> 01:15:32,468
You're going down, Sandler.
1548
01:15:32,585 --> 01:15:34,053
Sandler? What the...
1549
01:15:34,212 --> 01:15:35,680
Jesus Christ!
1550
01:15:36,673 --> 01:15:37,674
(SPITS)
1551
01:15:37,757 --> 01:15:39,100
AJ: I'm going to kill you!
1552
01:15:40,927 --> 01:15:43,100
Jim, what the fuck
are you wearing?
1553
01:15:43,263 --> 01:15:45,686
Hey, I can explain
everything! Jesus!
1554
01:15:46,474 --> 01:15:47,521
Come on! Shit!
1555
01:15:47,642 --> 01:15:49,189
Get up, gimp!
1556
01:15:49,352 --> 01:15:51,354
Come on, I'm not
fighting you, okay?
1557
01:15:51,479 --> 01:15:53,026
This is silly. I'm an adult.
1558
01:15:53,189 --> 01:15:54,236
Oh, really?
1559
01:15:54,357 --> 01:15:56,325
Because to me you look
like a little bitch pussy.
1560
01:15:56,401 --> 01:15:57,402
(BOYS LAUGHING)
1561
01:15:57,485 --> 01:15:59,237
Don't be a pussy, Jim.
1562
01:15:59,404 --> 01:16:01,998
Look, AJ, just calm down, okay?
1563
01:16:02,156 --> 01:16:05,251
What makes you little fuckers think you can
crash one of the Stifmeister's parties?
1564
01:16:05,952 --> 01:16:08,796
Did you just refer to yourself
as "the Stifmeister"?
1565
01:16:08,955 --> 01:16:12,084
Because that's the
lamest name ever!
1566
01:16:12,458 --> 01:16:13,675
(PEOPLE JEERING)
1567
01:16:14,669 --> 01:16:16,797
I'm going to fucking kill you.
1568
01:16:16,963 --> 01:16:17,930
Bring it on.
1569
01:16:18,006 --> 01:16:19,508
Hey, Steve, come on, this is...
1570
01:16:20,258 --> 01:16:21,976
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
1571
01:16:24,846 --> 01:16:26,598
Where do you think
you're going?
1572
01:16:31,519 --> 01:16:34,238
Don't mess with
the Class of '99, bitch!
1573
01:16:34,355 --> 01:16:35,356
(GROANS)
1574
01:16:35,440 --> 01:16:36,612
Finch!
1575
01:16:37,275 --> 01:16:38,447
Don't hurt my friend!
1576
01:16:47,535 --> 01:16:48,536
(GROANING)
1577
01:16:53,374 --> 01:16:54,375
Hey!
1578
01:16:54,667 --> 01:16:57,716
Get off my husband,
you little piece of shit!
1579
01:16:57,795 --> 01:17:00,048
(SIRENS WAILING)
1580
01:17:07,096 --> 01:17:08,097
(INDISTINCT CHATTER
ON POLICE RADIO)
1581
01:17:08,181 --> 01:17:09,524
(LAUGHING)
1582
01:17:09,641 --> 01:17:12,645
Oh, crap! It's the fuzz!
1583
01:17:13,394 --> 01:17:15,613
We have to get out.
How do you get out?
1584
01:17:15,813 --> 01:17:17,030
I need an escape route!
1585
01:17:17,190 --> 01:17:18,783
Oh, shit!
1586
01:17:18,900 --> 01:17:19,947
You want to be with him?
1587
01:17:20,026 --> 01:17:22,654
Fine! He's all yours.
1588
01:17:22,820 --> 01:17:24,242
Come on, man!
1589
01:17:26,240 --> 01:17:28,618
Jim, what's going on?
1590
01:17:28,785 --> 01:17:30,833
I am so sorry for all
of this. I can explain.
1591
01:17:31,537 --> 01:17:33,835
Last night I ran into
Kara, our neighbor.
1592
01:17:34,040 --> 01:17:37,089
She was too drunk to drive,
so I drove her home.
1593
01:17:37,251 --> 01:17:42,052
And she started taking off her
clothes, and touching my...
1594
01:17:42,382 --> 01:17:45,807
Okay, I know it doesn't sound
good, but nothing happened, okay?
1595
01:17:45,968 --> 01:17:48,062
I don't care about her at all!
1596
01:17:48,221 --> 01:17:50,770
Thanks a lot.
1597
01:17:51,182 --> 01:17:53,685
No, no, Kara, wait.
I didn't mean...
1598
01:17:53,851 --> 01:17:55,569
Wait, Michelle.
Hold on, hold on.
1599
01:17:55,728 --> 01:17:57,150
It's not what you think, okay?
1600
01:17:57,313 --> 01:18:01,819
I swear, I was just trying to
do the right thing, and I...
1601
01:18:01,901 --> 01:18:04,529
(SIGHS) You have to believe
me, Michelle, please.
1602
01:18:05,446 --> 01:18:08,575
Whether I believe you or not,
1603
01:18:08,783 --> 01:18:10,160
I'm disappointed.
1604
01:18:10,576 --> 01:18:13,045
I'm going to stay
with my grandmother.
1605
01:18:13,204 --> 01:18:14,205
Hold it, Michelle.
1606
01:18:14,288 --> 01:18:15,289
No, Jim.
1607
01:18:15,915 --> 01:18:17,462
Hey, the fight's over, guys.
1608
01:18:17,625 --> 01:18:19,047
We're not here to stop a fight.
1609
01:18:19,293 --> 01:18:21,637
We're here about
that stolen motorcycle.
1610
01:18:21,796 --> 01:18:23,469
Looks like the VIN
numbers match up.
1611
01:18:23,631 --> 01:18:24,883
Paul Finch.
1612
01:18:25,049 --> 01:18:26,801
You're under arrest.
1613
01:18:28,136 --> 01:18:29,388
Awesome!
1614
01:18:29,721 --> 01:18:30,893
KEVIN: Excuse me, officer.
1615
01:18:30,972 --> 01:18:33,248
He won that bike betting on
the World Cup in Argentina.
1616
01:18:33,249 --> 01:18:35,523
You made some sort of mistake.
1617
01:18:35,601 --> 01:18:37,569
Paul, what's going on?
What is this about?
1618
01:18:37,854 --> 01:18:39,026
Paul.
1619
01:18:39,188 --> 01:18:40,485
Finch, just tell them.
1620
01:18:40,648 --> 01:18:41,820
Paul!
1621
01:18:43,067 --> 01:18:46,571
STIFLER: Hey, shitbreak, when you're
getting rammed by your cellmate tonight,
1622
01:18:46,738 --> 01:18:47,864
think of Kevin.
1623
01:18:51,909 --> 01:18:53,911
Michelle, can I just... Please!
1624
01:18:57,832 --> 01:18:58,879
Oh!
1625
01:18:59,625 --> 01:19:00,672
Ah!
1626
01:19:01,544 --> 01:19:02,796
Dad? Ah!
1627
01:19:03,671 --> 01:19:05,389
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
1628
01:19:07,341 --> 01:19:08,342
Dad?
1629
01:19:09,260 --> 01:19:10,682
Dad, what are you doing?
1630
01:19:10,845 --> 01:19:13,598
You didn't see me!
I'm not here!
1631
01:19:13,765 --> 01:19:14,937
I'm not here!
1632
01:19:16,517 --> 01:19:17,689
Is he all right?
1633
01:19:18,352 --> 01:19:20,025
I don't know.
1634
01:19:20,521 --> 01:19:22,023
What are we going
to do about Finch?
1635
01:19:22,190 --> 01:19:24,443
Fuck Finch. Let him
spend the night in jail.
1636
01:19:24,609 --> 01:19:25,826
Come on, Stifler!
1637
01:19:25,902 --> 01:19:27,119
Some friend you are.
1638
01:19:29,447 --> 01:19:30,915
What about you guys?
1639
01:19:31,115 --> 01:19:34,164
You don't call me,
you don't e-mail,
1640
01:19:34,243 --> 01:19:36,371
you don't comment
on my Facebook page.
1641
01:19:36,454 --> 01:19:38,752
You guys didn't even let me know you
were coming back for the reunion.
1642
01:19:38,915 --> 01:19:42,215
Because we knew, somehow, you would
find a way to screw things up.
1643
01:19:42,710 --> 01:19:44,383
Oh, I'm sorry, Jim.
1644
01:19:44,545 --> 01:19:46,138
I wanted us to have
a fucking fun time
1645
01:19:46,214 --> 01:19:47,716
this weekend,
like we did in high school.
1646
01:19:47,882 --> 01:19:49,884
But we're not in
high school any more.
1647
01:19:50,051 --> 01:19:51,553
You are so trapped
in the past, Stifler.
1648
01:19:51,719 --> 01:19:54,768
When are you going to realize that things
will never be the way they used to be?
1649
01:19:55,473 --> 01:19:56,725
(SCOFFS)
1650
01:20:01,896 --> 01:20:03,113
Fine.
1651
01:20:04,315 --> 01:20:06,113
Guess the party's over.
1652
01:20:08,402 --> 01:20:09,654
Dicks.
1653
01:20:13,616 --> 01:20:14,868
(SIGHS)
1654
01:20:42,186 --> 01:20:44,484
Well, that was a great party.
1655
01:20:44,939 --> 01:20:47,317
I honestly think I had fun.
1656
01:20:49,277 --> 01:20:51,996
Well, that makes one of us.
1657
01:20:54,323 --> 01:20:55,666
Have you heard from Michelle?
1658
01:20:55,825 --> 01:20:59,079
No. She doesn't
want to talk to me.
1659
01:20:59,370 --> 01:21:01,168
What about the reunion tonight?
1660
01:21:01,247 --> 01:21:03,375
She said she may
or may not come.
1661
01:21:03,541 --> 01:21:05,339
What's going on with you two?
1662
01:21:05,501 --> 01:21:07,048
Jim, is there anything
you want to talk about?
1663
01:21:08,296 --> 01:21:09,843
(CLEARS THROAT)
1664
01:21:11,090 --> 01:21:12,262
Okay.
1665
01:21:13,009 --> 01:21:14,135
Um...
1666
01:21:15,344 --> 01:21:17,938
How often
1667
01:21:18,097 --> 01:21:21,442
did you and Mom...
1668
01:21:24,604 --> 01:21:25,901
You know?
1669
01:21:25,980 --> 01:21:28,074
Is that what this is about?
1670
01:21:28,149 --> 01:21:29,992
You and Michelle
haven't been...
1671
01:21:30,151 --> 01:21:31,994
Not lately, no.
1672
01:21:32,069 --> 01:21:33,116
Oh...
1673
01:21:35,656 --> 01:21:37,499
ls it
1674
01:21:37,658 --> 01:21:39,160
an erectile problem?
1675
01:21:39,994 --> 01:21:44,340
Because sometimes you
can buy a little time
1676
01:21:44,498 --> 01:21:45,795
with a well-placed thumb.
1677
01:21:45,875 --> 01:21:47,752
Oh, God. I'm just saying.
1678
01:21:47,835 --> 01:21:49,712
I don't think that's it.
That's not it?
1679
01:21:50,004 --> 01:21:54,805
Oh! That's something to keep in your
back pocket, because that's a no-fail.
1680
01:21:54,967 --> 01:21:56,640
Okay, let's be done with that.
1681
01:21:56,802 --> 01:22:00,227
No, things in that
department were fine.
1682
01:22:01,432 --> 01:22:03,526
And then Evan was born
1683
01:22:03,726 --> 01:22:06,605
and we kind of stopped.
1684
01:22:06,854 --> 01:22:10,700
And they haven't really
picked up since, you know?
1685
01:22:11,484 --> 01:22:14,738
This is not a problem,
so do not worry.
1686
01:22:14,862 --> 01:22:16,705
You understand?
Yeah, listen, Jim.
1687
01:22:16,864 --> 01:22:18,332
Before you were born,
1688
01:22:18,407 --> 01:22:21,377
your mother and I,
we would do it every day.
1689
01:22:21,452 --> 01:22:22,453
I don't need this.
1690
01:22:22,536 --> 01:22:24,880
Sometimes two or
three times a day.
1691
01:22:24,956 --> 01:22:28,551
This is back in the '70s.
A lot of experimentation was going on.
1692
01:22:28,751 --> 01:22:33,473
Your mother favored something she
called, "diving for dollars."
1693
01:22:33,714 --> 01:22:36,593
Holy shit. I'm sorry,
I don't need...
1694
01:22:36,676 --> 01:22:39,054
(CLEARS THROAT)
That's fine, we can...
1695
01:22:39,220 --> 01:22:40,472
I don't have to
go on with that.
1696
01:22:40,554 --> 01:22:46,027
But my point is, when you have a
kid, you become a dad and a mom.
1697
01:22:46,394 --> 01:22:50,615
But it's very important not to
stop being a husband and a wife.
1698
01:22:51,190 --> 01:22:54,740
And if you do that,
the sex will come.
1699
01:22:56,821 --> 01:22:58,289
That actually
makes a lot of sense.
1700
01:22:58,447 --> 01:23:01,826
But you can't just wait for
the two of you to be alone.
1701
01:23:01,993 --> 01:23:05,463
You have to make
your own alone time.
1702
01:23:05,663 --> 01:23:09,338
Why do you think you went to
Hebrew school three times a week?
1703
01:23:09,500 --> 01:23:13,505
Sundays, noon to three?
Tuesdays, four to seven?
1704
01:23:13,629 --> 01:23:14,926
Okay, I get it, Dad.
1705
01:23:15,006 --> 01:23:17,225
If you get it,
then why the questions?
1706
01:23:17,383 --> 01:23:18,475
I'm sorry.
1707
01:23:18,551 --> 01:23:20,645
You're going through this, I am sorry.
I should be listening.
1708
01:23:20,803 --> 01:23:23,807
No, I'm overreacting.
I'm sorry.
1709
01:23:27,643 --> 01:23:29,361
(SIGHS) Thank you.
1710
01:23:29,895 --> 01:23:31,818
Again. Really.
1711
01:23:35,234 --> 01:23:36,486
Anytime.
1712
01:23:41,323 --> 01:23:42,916
Welcome, you guys.
1713
01:23:42,992 --> 01:23:46,542
Listen, find your nametag, find
out what table you're sitting at.
1714
01:23:46,620 --> 01:23:48,873
Ashley, so good to see you!
Oh, my God.
1715
01:23:49,040 --> 01:23:52,089
Billy! Oh, my God,
you're looking so svelte.
1716
01:23:52,251 --> 01:23:55,380
You used to be morbidly obese.
I was concerned.
1717
01:23:55,463 --> 01:23:56,555
KEVIN: Hey.
1718
01:23:56,630 --> 01:23:57,722
Hey, guys.
1719
01:23:57,798 --> 01:23:59,471
Hey, Jim. Oz.
1720
01:23:59,759 --> 01:24:00,931
Where is Mia?
1721
01:24:01,010 --> 01:24:03,138
She flew out this morning.
1722
01:24:03,304 --> 01:24:05,648
Oh. I'm sorry, man.
1723
01:24:06,474 --> 01:24:07,521
What about Michelle?
1724
01:24:08,768 --> 01:24:10,645
I am not sure yet.
1725
01:24:11,353 --> 01:24:12,650
ALL; Finch!
1726
01:24:12,855 --> 01:24:16,200
What happened? I called the police
department a thousand times.
1727
01:24:16,275 --> 01:24:21,156
I appreciate that, Kevin.
But my mom, actually, bailed me out.
1728
01:24:22,907 --> 01:24:24,409
Guys, I screwed up.
1729
01:24:24,575 --> 01:24:26,669
That bike belongs to my boss.
1730
01:24:26,827 --> 01:24:31,173
And I was promised a raise,
and I didn't get it, so I
1731
01:24:31,290 --> 01:24:32,542
simply borrowed it.
1732
01:24:33,334 --> 01:24:35,837
The truth is that my life
isn't interesting at all.
1733
01:24:36,337 --> 01:24:40,342
I am an assistant manager at a
Staples in Bayonne, New Jersey.
1734
01:24:40,591 --> 01:24:43,811
I lied to my best friends,
and I'm sorry.
1735
01:24:45,221 --> 01:24:48,316
You know, Finch,
just because you sold out
1736
01:24:48,390 --> 01:24:51,394
and got a boring job
like most of us,
1737
01:24:51,477 --> 01:24:53,104
that doesn't mean you
should be embarrassed.
1738
01:24:53,187 --> 01:24:55,781
Yeah, come on, man.
None of that shit matters.
1739
01:24:56,857 --> 01:24:58,109
That means a lot, gentlemen.
1740
01:24:58,275 --> 01:24:59,652
What about your arm?
1741
01:24:59,735 --> 01:25:00,736
Oh.
1742
01:25:02,363 --> 01:25:05,116
I spilled coffee on myself
while I was driving.
1743
01:25:05,282 --> 01:25:06,454
No. (CHUCKLES)
1744
01:25:07,201 --> 01:25:08,874
It hurt like a bitch, though.
1745
01:25:08,994 --> 01:25:11,838
I'll bet. Jesus, Finch.
1746
01:25:12,206 --> 01:25:14,629
Oh, hey, check this
out, you guys.
1747
01:25:15,960 --> 01:25:18,054
Crazy, huh? Look at us.
1748
01:25:18,212 --> 01:25:19,384
OZ: A lot of memories.
1749
01:25:21,382 --> 01:25:23,009
"Steve Stifler."
1750
01:25:23,968 --> 01:25:26,892
"Hopes to keep the party
going with his boys."
1751
01:25:28,639 --> 01:25:29,731
(CLICKS TONGUE)
1752
01:25:30,850 --> 01:25:32,602
Any sign of him yet?
1753
01:25:32,768 --> 01:25:34,486
I don't think
he's going to show.
1754
01:25:34,562 --> 01:25:35,734
(SIGHS)
1755
01:25:50,035 --> 01:25:51,252
Stifler?
1756
01:25:55,332 --> 01:25:56,424
How'd you find me?
1757
01:25:56,584 --> 01:25:57,927
We asked your mom.
1758
01:25:58,752 --> 01:26:01,255
Oh, no. I didn't do anything.
1759
01:26:02,590 --> 01:26:07,346
We wanted to apologize
for what we said last night.
1760
01:26:07,928 --> 01:26:08,929
We didn't mean it.
1761
01:26:09,263 --> 01:26:10,264
(SIGHS)
1762
01:26:10,347 --> 01:26:14,272
Yeah, you did.
I get it, you guys think I'm a dick.
1763
01:26:18,939 --> 01:26:21,237
Okay. Well,
1764
01:26:22,109 --> 01:26:24,532
maybe you are kind of a dick.
1765
01:26:25,446 --> 01:26:26,538
But,
1766
01:26:27,531 --> 01:26:29,283
you're a fun dick.
1767
01:26:29,450 --> 01:26:32,499
And you're our dick.
1768
01:26:33,120 --> 01:26:37,967
Yeah, man. You were one of the biggest
reasons that high school was awesome.
1769
01:26:38,125 --> 01:26:40,799
Yeah, high school was awesome.
1770
01:26:40,961 --> 01:26:43,760
Then we graduated and everybody
started getting jobs
1771
01:26:43,923 --> 01:26:46,142
and getting married
and having kids
1772
01:26:46,217 --> 01:26:48,595
and all that other stupid shit.
1773
01:26:48,761 --> 01:26:52,436
Now, look at me.
I'm the bitch of this place.
1774
01:26:52,640 --> 01:26:54,608
Look, Stifler, none of
our lives are perfect.
1775
01:26:54,767 --> 01:26:55,984
Especially mine.
1776
01:26:56,936 --> 01:27:01,316
But what do you say we keep this party
going, and hit up this reunion together?
1777
01:27:03,150 --> 01:27:05,118
What the hell is going on here?
1778
01:27:05,861 --> 01:27:09,365
Oh, my God.
This is the jackass.
1779
01:27:09,782 --> 01:27:12,251
You're not even close to being
finished and you're up here
1780
01:27:12,326 --> 01:27:14,454
"chilling with your posse"?
1781
01:27:14,578 --> 01:27:15,795
Sorry, we can explain.
1782
01:27:15,955 --> 01:27:17,252
No, Kevin.
1783
01:27:18,666 --> 01:27:19,758
Allow me.
1784
01:27:19,833 --> 01:27:22,461
Yeah, Kevin, allow him.
1785
01:27:22,544 --> 01:27:23,761
This better be good, Stafler.
1786
01:27:24,338 --> 01:27:26,340
It's Stifler, fucker.
1787
01:27:26,674 --> 01:27:30,679
(SCOFFS) Oh, wow.
Who the hell do you think you are?
1788
01:27:30,844 --> 01:27:34,348
Are you acting tough in front
of your girlfriend? Huh?
1789
01:27:34,431 --> 01:27:36,433
Because we both know she's
only with you for your money.
1790
01:27:37,268 --> 01:27:38,611
Definitely not for your dick.
1791
01:27:38,769 --> 01:27:40,612
Because anybody that's
peed next to you
1792
01:27:40,688 --> 01:27:42,531
knows it's the size of
a leprechaun's pinkie.
1793
01:27:42,690 --> 01:27:44,033
(SNICKERS)
1794
01:27:44,108 --> 01:27:46,110
That's not true.
1795
01:27:46,193 --> 01:27:49,538
(MOCKINGLY) "That's not
true." Oh, yeah, it is.
1796
01:27:50,625 --> 01:27:54,380
Look, just because you got a fancy
office and I don't even have a desk
1797
01:27:54,545 --> 01:27:56,843
doesn't change
who we really are.
1798
01:27:57,006 --> 01:28:00,556
The truth is,
you're still a dork,
1799
01:28:00,718 --> 01:28:02,641
and I can still kick your ass.
1800
01:28:03,554 --> 01:28:05,227
But I'm not going to.
1801
01:28:05,389 --> 01:28:06,891
You know why?
1802
01:28:07,058 --> 01:28:09,026
Because I'm the
fucking Stifmeister.
1803
01:28:09,227 --> 01:28:14,081
And if you even look at me again.
I will shit in your briefcase
1804
01:28:14,502 --> 01:28:15,686
Dudes?
1805
01:28:22,147 --> 01:28:25,822
By the way, I had no clue what I
was doing with any of this shit,
1806
01:28:25,984 --> 01:28:28,328
so you got a lot of work to do.
1807
01:28:30,322 --> 01:28:32,324
(PUNK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1808
01:29:03,021 --> 01:29:04,694
Surprise! Hey! You made it.
1809
01:29:04,856 --> 01:29:06,108
Of course.
1810
01:29:06,274 --> 01:29:07,401
What do you think about
the Lions this year?
1811
01:29:07,402 --> 01:29:08,527
They got a shot?
1812
01:29:08,693 --> 01:29:11,071
We'll see if their
offensive line can hold.
1813
01:29:11,238 --> 01:29:13,866
Are you planning on being on
Celebrity Dance Off: All Stars?
1814
01:29:14,032 --> 01:29:15,955
I actually haven't
thought much about that.
1815
01:29:16,118 --> 01:29:18,166
You should think about it.
1816
01:29:22,791 --> 01:29:26,136
I'm sorry, guys,
you'll have to excuse me.
1817
01:29:30,715 --> 01:29:32,058
Can I cut in?
1818
01:29:32,634 --> 01:29:35,228
I don't know.
Can you promise to keep your shirt on?
1819
01:29:36,096 --> 01:29:38,895
Come on, buddy, I'm busting balls.
Huh?
1820
01:29:38,974 --> 01:29:41,068
Yeah, of course.
1821
01:29:41,393 --> 01:29:42,736
I'll get us some drinks.
1822
01:29:42,811 --> 01:29:43,937
Okay.
1823
01:29:45,730 --> 01:29:48,279
Hey.
1824
01:29:49,317 --> 01:29:51,615
Shouldn't you be dancing
with your girlfriend?
1825
01:29:51,778 --> 01:29:52,779
Uh...
1826
01:29:53,905 --> 01:29:57,079
Mia and I are over.
1827
01:29:58,577 --> 01:30:03,253
She wanted me
to be someone else.
1828
01:30:03,790 --> 01:30:07,465
Something that I
don't want to be.
1829
01:30:08,587 --> 01:30:10,760
What do you want, Chris?
1830
01:30:11,256 --> 01:30:13,600
Heather, I want this.
1831
01:30:14,009 --> 01:30:15,306
I want us.
1832
01:30:16,761 --> 01:30:20,265
What about your career? LA?
1833
01:30:20,432 --> 01:30:23,732
Look, I know that it's crazy.
1834
01:30:23,894 --> 01:30:28,650
And I don't have all the answers
right now, but I see you,
1835
01:30:30,025 --> 01:30:31,493
and I just know
1836
01:30:32,736 --> 01:30:33,908
I want you.
1837
01:30:35,447 --> 01:30:36,573
I love you.
1838
01:30:37,782 --> 01:30:39,159
I love you.
1839
01:30:46,124 --> 01:30:47,216
So, I'm skiing down a mountain.
1840
01:30:47,292 --> 01:30:48,635
Guy has a heart
attack right there.
1841
01:30:48,793 --> 01:30:51,672
Saved his life.
It was a big story, you can Google it.
1842
01:30:51,838 --> 01:30:52,964
Yeah, it was.
1843
01:30:53,131 --> 01:30:54,474
I bet.
1844
01:30:55,467 --> 01:30:57,640
Holy shit! Excuse me.
1845
01:30:57,802 --> 01:31:00,225
Hey, excuse me.
What the hell is going on?
1846
01:31:00,639 --> 01:31:01,765
Ron, I can explain.
1847
01:31:01,848 --> 01:31:03,225
Seriously, this guy?
1848
01:31:03,391 --> 01:31:05,644
I'm a fucking heart surgeon,
this guy's not even on ESPN.
1849
01:31:05,810 --> 01:31:07,608
Hey, take it easy, Ron.
1850
01:31:07,771 --> 01:31:10,115
What are you going to do?
Hit me, Oz? Huh?
1851
01:31:10,273 --> 01:31:13,197
Oh, I got an idea.
What about a dance-off? Huh?
1852
01:31:14,152 --> 01:31:16,996
This isn't a reality show, okay?
This is the real world.
1853
01:31:17,155 --> 01:31:20,500
You take one swing at me, I will
sue you for all you're worth.
1854
01:31:21,076 --> 01:31:22,077
(GASPS)
1855
01:31:24,955 --> 01:31:27,424
I'm not worth jack shit, Dron.
1856
01:31:30,001 --> 01:31:31,218
I'm your dick.
1857
01:31:34,214 --> 01:31:35,261
Dropped him!
1858
01:31:35,340 --> 01:31:36,341
That was awesome!
1859
01:31:36,508 --> 01:31:38,681
Listen, we had a blast
the other night.
1860
01:31:39,844 --> 01:31:42,313
Have you ever thought about
being a party planner?
1861
01:31:42,847 --> 01:31:45,270
Because we want you
to plan our wedding.
1862
01:31:45,350 --> 01:31:46,897
Say yes.
1863
01:31:47,894 --> 01:31:49,862
Yeah, yeah! I'd love to.
1864
01:31:49,938 --> 01:31:51,736
Nice! Oh, my God.
1865
01:31:51,898 --> 01:31:53,616
Thanks! This is great, man.
1866
01:31:53,775 --> 01:31:56,403
Thank you so much.
Thank you, bro.
1867
01:31:56,569 --> 01:31:58,037
You're welcome. Thank you.
1868
01:32:03,827 --> 01:32:04,919
I have to tell you something.
1869
01:32:04,995 --> 01:32:06,121
You don't have to explain.
1870
01:32:06,705 --> 01:32:11,051
Look, Paul, I didn't like you
because you climbed the Alps,
1871
01:32:11,209 --> 01:32:13,211
or killed a camel
with your bare hands.
1872
01:32:13,545 --> 01:32:16,048
I liked you because you were
still the same good guy
1873
01:32:16,131 --> 01:32:18,384
that was actually nice
to me in high school.
1874
01:32:19,009 --> 01:32:20,261
I'm still that guy.
1875
01:32:20,677 --> 01:32:22,395
I really am.
1876
01:32:23,138 --> 01:32:25,857
You know, the last time I
was here was for prom.
1877
01:32:27,100 --> 01:32:28,397
I didn't have a date.
1878
01:32:28,476 --> 01:32:29,728
Neither did I.
1879
01:32:32,397 --> 01:32:33,523
I have to get a drink.
1880
01:32:33,648 --> 01:32:35,150
What?
1881
01:32:35,317 --> 01:32:36,364
Was my dancing that bad?
1882
01:32:36,443 --> 01:32:37,490
Yeah.
1883
01:32:37,902 --> 01:32:39,575
Kev! Hey!
1884
01:32:39,654 --> 01:32:40,655
Hey, Jess!
1885
01:32:40,739 --> 01:32:42,537
Wow. Look, you have a beard!
It looks great.
1886
01:32:42,615 --> 01:32:44,583
Thanks. I'm kidding.
1887
01:32:44,701 --> 01:32:47,079
Let's just get this out of the way.
(CLEARS THROAT)
1888
01:32:47,245 --> 01:32:48,872
I'm a lesbian now, and
this is my girlfriend.
1889
01:32:48,873 --> 01:32:50,499
This is Ingrid.
1890
01:32:50,665 --> 01:32:52,383
Good to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
1891
01:32:52,542 --> 01:32:55,216
Lesbians? (LAUGHING) I knew it!
1892
01:32:55,295 --> 01:32:57,093
Why don't you guys
make out and prove it.
1893
01:32:57,255 --> 01:33:00,350
You must be Stifler.
I've heard a lot about you. Ow!
1894
01:33:00,425 --> 01:33:01,893
Mostly negative.
1895
01:33:02,093 --> 01:33:04,187
Cool, dude. What the fuck?
1896
01:33:04,262 --> 01:33:06,105
Jessica, it's good to see you.
1897
01:33:06,222 --> 01:33:07,348
No, it wasn't.
1898
01:33:07,432 --> 01:33:08,558
What the...
1899
01:33:09,017 --> 01:33:11,770
Look, Kev, I think you
should go talk to Vicky.
1900
01:33:12,020 --> 01:33:14,114
She's really upset over there.
1901
01:33:14,939 --> 01:33:17,033
Yeah, thanks.
1902
01:33:17,108 --> 01:33:18,485
Nice to meet you.
1903
01:33:18,568 --> 01:33:20,787
Be a real man,
you have a beard now.
1904
01:33:24,741 --> 01:33:26,709
Kevin, don't. I'm fine.
1905
01:33:26,868 --> 01:33:30,463
Come on.
I was a complete jerk last night.
1906
01:33:30,622 --> 01:33:33,501
I was just upset that you would
think that I would do that
1907
01:33:33,666 --> 01:33:35,293
knowing that you're married.
1908
01:33:35,835 --> 01:33:37,508
I know you wouldn't.
1909
01:33:37,670 --> 01:33:41,265
Honestly, that was more
about me being nervous.
1910
01:33:42,342 --> 01:33:46,438
Seeing you again, all these
old feelings came up, and...
1911
01:33:46,596 --> 01:33:49,315
I don't know, I guess
I just felt guilty.
1912
01:33:50,183 --> 01:33:54,359
But the fact that I still
have feelings for you
1913
01:33:54,521 --> 01:33:57,274
just means that what
we had was special.
1914
01:33:57,440 --> 01:33:59,317
Don't get me wrong, all right.
1915
01:33:59,484 --> 01:34:02,784
I love Ellie
more than anything.
1916
01:34:02,946 --> 01:34:05,449
But no matter
how much time passes
1917
01:34:06,199 --> 01:34:08,167
you'll always be my first love.
1918
01:34:11,204 --> 01:34:12,330
And you'll always be mine.
1919
01:34:12,997 --> 01:34:14,044
Kev. Hey.
1920
01:34:14,207 --> 01:34:16,175
You have to try these
cupcakes, they're awesome.
1921
01:34:16,251 --> 01:34:18,379
Ellie, this is Vicky.
1922
01:34:18,628 --> 01:34:22,883
Oh, my God! The Vicky?
Kevin has told me so much about you.
1923
01:34:23,007 --> 01:34:26,011
You're a really lucky girl.
He's a great guy.
1924
01:34:27,262 --> 01:34:28,980
Come dance with us.
No, it's okay.
1925
01:34:29,139 --> 01:34:31,892
Yes, come on, this is
happening. Come on.
1926
01:34:31,975 --> 01:34:33,977
(SLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1927
01:35:11,556 --> 01:35:12,603
Hey.
1928
01:35:13,641 --> 01:35:14,642
Hey.
1929
01:35:18,062 --> 01:35:19,188
My name's Jim.
1930
01:35:20,148 --> 01:35:23,322
We were in Mr. Lee's
English class together.
1931
01:35:23,568 --> 01:35:24,615
Really?
1932
01:35:25,403 --> 01:35:29,579
Yeah, I...
Sorry, I don't remember you.
1933
01:35:29,782 --> 01:35:30,908
Okay.
1934
01:35:32,118 --> 01:35:35,622
I was the kid who everyone
saw on the Internet.
1935
01:35:35,997 --> 01:35:36,998
Mmm.
1936
01:35:37,081 --> 01:35:40,301
Sorry, you're going to
have to be more specific.
1937
01:35:40,460 --> 01:35:42,133
I pre-ejaculated twice.
1938
01:35:42,253 --> 01:35:43,755
Oh, Jim Levenstein! Right!
1939
01:35:43,838 --> 01:35:46,307
Levenstein.
Yeah, Jim Levenstein.
1940
01:35:46,466 --> 01:35:48,969
Now I remember. Yeah.
1941
01:35:49,844 --> 01:35:52,267
So, how have you been
since high school?
1942
01:35:52,639 --> 01:35:55,438
Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good.
Let's see.
1943
01:35:55,767 --> 01:35:56,768
Um...
1944
01:35:57,268 --> 01:35:58,269
Oh!
1945
01:36:00,939 --> 01:36:03,442
I married the most wonderful
woman in the world.
1946
01:36:05,735 --> 01:36:07,453
And we have
the cutest kid ever.
1947
01:36:08,821 --> 01:36:11,950
It sounds like
things are perfect.
1948
01:36:12,784 --> 01:36:15,628
I'm willing to do whatever
it takes to make it perfect.
1949
01:36:16,871 --> 01:36:21,047
And that means being the
sexiest husband possible.
1950
01:36:21,960 --> 01:36:23,086
Really?
1951
01:36:23,836 --> 01:36:25,179
Michelle, you look beautiful.
1952
01:36:25,547 --> 01:36:28,016
Oh, thanks.
1953
01:36:29,342 --> 01:36:30,810
Would you like to dance?
1954
01:36:31,386 --> 01:36:32,683
I'd love to.
1955
01:36:36,432 --> 01:36:38,230
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
1956
01:36:48,319 --> 01:36:49,320
Whoo!
1957
01:36:54,075 --> 01:36:55,247
Stifler.
1958
01:36:55,493 --> 01:36:58,087
Sherman? The Sherminator?
1959
01:36:58,621 --> 01:37:00,339
What the fuck
have you been up to?
1960
01:37:00,498 --> 01:37:02,876
Married. Had a kid.
1961
01:37:03,042 --> 01:37:04,760
And divorced.
1962
01:37:05,169 --> 01:37:07,718
Oh! I'm sorry.
1963
01:37:07,880 --> 01:37:09,052
Yeah, I'm sure you are.
1964
01:37:09,132 --> 01:37:12,181
But, you know what, at least I
got to keep little Furlong.
1965
01:37:13,344 --> 01:37:15,472
You named your kid
after Eddie Furlong?
1966
01:37:15,847 --> 01:37:17,190
Yes, I did. You know why?
1967
01:37:17,348 --> 01:37:20,397
Because Terminator 2 is still
the greatest film ever made.
1968
01:37:21,019 --> 01:37:24,523
Dude, you need
to get banged bad.
1969
01:37:24,548 --> 01:37:28,461
I'm gonna help you out. Your cock can
thank me later. What do you say?
1970
01:37:29,314 --> 01:37:32,219
No no. See I'm not going
to fall for that again.
1971
01:37:32,609 --> 01:37:33,696
Come on.
1972
01:37:33,697 --> 01:37:35,982
I know I was a bit of
a jerk back in the
1973
01:37:35,983 --> 01:37:38,045
day but I grown up
a lot since then.
1974
01:37:38,320 --> 01:37:40,862
Please. Let me help you out.
1975
01:37:46,230 --> 01:37:52,435
Sigh. I'm just messing with you.
Get over here you littile rascal.
1976
01:37:53,161 --> 01:37:56,791
Hey lets find you some
puss-puss. Lets go
1977
01:38:02,209 --> 01:38:03,269
Okay, we have
to get out of here.
1978
01:38:03,357 --> 01:38:04,894
It's about time. Yeah.
1979
01:38:10,183 --> 01:38:11,400
It's a lost cause.
1980
01:38:11,476 --> 01:38:14,229
All these women are either
married or came with dates.
1981
01:38:15,647 --> 01:38:16,648
WOMAN: Hey, Loni.
1982
01:38:17,541 --> 01:38:21,045
Dude, how would you like
to have your world blown?
1983
01:38:26,396 --> 01:38:27,648
(BEEPING)
1984
01:38:31,457 --> 01:38:33,926
Hasta la vista, Stifler.
1985
01:38:36,860 --> 01:38:37,986
(SIGHS)
1986
01:38:38,070 --> 01:38:41,745
Great, everybody's
getting laid but me.
1987
01:38:41,907 --> 01:38:43,204
This sucks.
1988
01:38:43,367 --> 01:38:45,165
Excuse me.
1989
01:38:46,437 --> 01:38:48,314
Hi. Hi.
1990
01:38:48,481 --> 01:38:51,530
I'm looking for Paul Finch.
Have you seen him anywhere?
1991
01:38:51,693 --> 01:38:53,411
What do you want with Finch?
1992
01:38:53,569 --> 01:38:56,664
I'm here to pick him up.
I'm his mom.
1993
01:39:00,201 --> 01:39:01,418
Finch has a mom?
1994
01:39:03,705 --> 01:39:06,709
I mean, you're Finch's mom?
1995
01:39:07,542 --> 01:39:09,886
Yeah. Are you a friend of his?
1996
01:39:10,044 --> 01:39:11,136
Oh, yeah.
1997
01:39:12,255 --> 01:39:13,802
Paul is like my best friend.
1998
01:39:13,965 --> 01:39:18,220
I love him so much.
More now than ever before.
1999
01:39:18,386 --> 01:39:21,765
In fact, I can't believe we
haven't met. I'm Steven Stifler.
2000
01:39:24,684 --> 01:39:25,810
I'm Rachel.
2001
01:39:27,645 --> 01:39:29,693
What? What is it?
2002
01:39:29,856 --> 01:39:33,611
I just got this feeling like something
really bad is about to happen.
2003
01:39:33,776 --> 01:39:38,657
Don't worry.
I'll be as quiet as a church mouse.
2004
01:39:43,244 --> 01:39:44,336
Oh, Jim!
2005
01:39:47,123 --> 01:39:48,295
(CHIMING)
2006
01:39:48,374 --> 01:39:49,421
JIM: Oh!
2007
01:39:49,500 --> 01:39:50,717
(BOTH MOANING)
2008
01:39:51,836 --> 01:39:52,837
I want you so bad.
2009
01:39:52,920 --> 01:39:54,593
(IN HUSKY VOICE)
Oh, you have no idea!
2010
01:39:55,423 --> 01:39:57,471
Oh, God! Oh, God!
2011
01:39:57,633 --> 01:40:01,183
Oh, God, there it is.
I don't think I can hold it any more.
2012
01:40:01,262 --> 01:40:02,263
Hold it in!
2013
01:40:02,346 --> 01:40:04,394
I'm sorry, I will.
2014
01:40:04,515 --> 01:40:05,687
I just forgot
how awesome this is.
2015
01:40:05,808 --> 01:40:07,981
Oh, yeah, I need this.
2016
01:40:10,772 --> 01:40:13,446
Oh, God, Michelle!
Fuck, I love you!
2017
01:40:13,524 --> 01:40:14,776
Jim?
2018
01:40:15,151 --> 01:40:16,698
(BOTH PANTING)
2019
01:40:16,861 --> 01:40:17,862
Nadia?
2020
01:40:20,072 --> 01:40:21,073
BOTH: (HESITANTLY) Hey.
2021
01:40:22,116 --> 01:40:25,290
I'm sorry. You are busy, yes?
2022
01:40:26,120 --> 01:40:27,212
No. Yes.
2023
01:40:27,288 --> 01:40:28,460
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2024
01:40:29,123 --> 01:40:32,127
Nadia, it's so nice to see you.
2025
01:40:32,502 --> 01:40:35,176
But do you think you
could give us a minute?
2026
01:40:35,338 --> 01:40:36,305
BOTH: Three.
2027
01:40:36,380 --> 01:40:37,381
Three minutes.
2028
01:40:37,548 --> 01:40:41,178
Okay! So nice you
are still together.
2029
01:40:41,260 --> 01:40:42,261
BOTH: Aw!
2030
01:40:42,345 --> 01:40:44,723
And I see you've gotten
much better at this.
2031
01:40:45,431 --> 01:40:47,684
Well, thanks.
2032
01:40:52,563 --> 01:40:55,112
That's Jim?
He looks nothing like me.
2033
01:40:55,191 --> 01:40:56,693
(BOTH MOANING)
2034
01:40:56,943 --> 01:41:02,074
You know, when I was in high
school, I dated a lacrosse player.
2035
01:41:02,323 --> 01:41:04,200
In fact, I dated a few of them.
2036
01:41:04,367 --> 01:41:06,369
You don't say.
2037
01:41:06,536 --> 01:41:09,710
I always wanted Paul
to be more into sports.
2038
01:41:09,872 --> 01:41:12,591
But he was never
that interested.
2039
01:41:13,084 --> 01:41:14,757
You don't have to sugarcoat it.
2040
01:41:14,919 --> 01:41:16,262
Finch was a klutz.
2041
01:41:18,756 --> 01:41:21,680
Yeah, I guess he was, but he
did not get that from me.
2042
01:41:21,884 --> 01:41:24,763
I was head cheerleader.
2043
01:41:25,096 --> 01:41:28,100
And if there's anything I
learned from lacrosse players,
2044
01:41:28,266 --> 01:41:31,816
it's that I like
to handle a stick
2045
01:41:33,479 --> 01:41:36,028
and cradle those balls.
2046
01:41:36,107 --> 01:41:39,202
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
2047
01:41:39,277 --> 01:41:40,494
I love you.
2048
01:41:41,445 --> 01:41:43,743
Are you ready for me, Stifler?
2049
01:41:48,202 --> 01:41:49,454
Oh, yeah!
2050
01:41:51,038 --> 01:41:52,631
Let's go.
2051
01:41:52,790 --> 01:41:54,713
(MOANS) Oh, Michelle.
2052
01:41:54,876 --> 01:41:56,799
Oh, God, Michelle.
2053
01:41:57,378 --> 01:41:59,801
You are amazing!
2054
01:42:00,172 --> 01:42:01,640
Better than the bathtub?
2055
01:42:01,716 --> 01:42:02,763
Much.
2056
01:42:04,552 --> 01:42:06,179
Better than this?
2057
01:42:06,637 --> 01:42:07,729
Ooh!
2058
01:42:11,058 --> 01:42:12,560
Of course.
2059
01:42:14,061 --> 01:42:15,984
STIFLER: Oh, take those off!
2060
01:42:16,147 --> 01:42:17,444
RACHEL: We shouldn't
be doing this.
2061
01:42:17,607 --> 01:42:18,699
Yes, we should. (UNZIPPING)
2062
01:42:18,774 --> 01:42:20,617
Oh, Stifler.
2063
01:42:20,776 --> 01:42:22,323
Oh, Finch's mom!
2064
01:42:23,821 --> 01:42:25,164
Call me the Stifmeister!
2065
01:42:25,323 --> 01:42:27,746
Yeah, you are the Stifmeister.
2066
01:42:28,159 --> 01:42:29,160
(BOTH MOANING)
2067
01:42:29,243 --> 01:42:30,495
MAN: MILF?
2068
01:42:37,168 --> 01:42:38,761
Oh, Finch's mom!
2069
01:42:39,003 --> 01:42:40,050
(UNENTHUSIASTICALLY) MILF.
2070
01:42:41,631 --> 01:42:42,678
MILF.
2071
01:42:46,427 --> 01:42:47,770
STIFLER: Tell me I'm the best.
2072
01:42:47,845 --> 01:42:49,518
RACHEL: You are the best!
2073
01:42:50,348 --> 01:42:51,395
MILF.
2074
01:42:52,642 --> 01:42:54,019
MILF. MILF.
2075
01:42:55,645 --> 01:42:56,862
STIFLER: Oh, Finch's mom!
2076
01:42:57,480 --> 01:43:02,486
BOTH: MILF! MILF! MILF!
2077
01:43:02,860 --> 01:43:04,783
(CHEERING)
2078
01:43:04,862 --> 01:43:06,330
RACHEL: Yes! Yes!
2079
01:43:06,405 --> 01:43:07,827
STIFLER: Oh, your
son's such a dork!
2080
01:43:07,907 --> 01:43:09,830
Stop talking about him!
2081
01:43:09,909 --> 01:43:11,252
(RACHEL SCREAMING)
2082
01:43:12,244 --> 01:43:14,918
Well, our first reunion
is officially in the books.
2083
01:43:15,081 --> 01:43:18,301
I don't know about you guys, but
my night ended pretty well.
2084
01:43:18,459 --> 01:43:19,551
It was great.
2085
01:43:19,627 --> 01:43:20,970
I had a blast.
It was unforgettable.
2086
01:43:21,045 --> 01:43:22,763
Fuck yeah!
I jizzed like a racehorse.
2087
01:43:23,464 --> 01:43:25,137
What happened to you at the
end of the night, Stifler?
2088
01:43:25,216 --> 01:43:26,513
Who did you end up with?
2089
01:43:26,592 --> 01:43:29,345
A gentleman never
kisses and tells, Jim.
2090
01:43:32,223 --> 01:43:33,270
JIM: Guys?
2091
01:43:35,351 --> 01:43:37,228
I'll be right back, okay?
2092
01:43:41,148 --> 01:43:42,240
Kara!
2093
01:43:48,781 --> 01:43:50,875
HEY-HEY...
2094
01:43:51,659 --> 01:43:54,333
Look, I'm sorry about
what I said the other night.
2095
01:43:54,495 --> 01:43:57,874
No, I'm the one who
should be apologizing.
2096
01:43:58,040 --> 01:44:00,168
I can't believe the way I acted.
I'm so embarrassed.
2097
01:44:00,251 --> 01:44:01,798
Don't be.
2098
01:44:02,211 --> 01:44:05,511
When I was your age I was
pretty obsessed with sex, too.
2099
01:44:05,589 --> 01:44:06,681
I know.
2100
01:44:07,717 --> 01:44:08,809
I've seen the YouTube clip.
2101
01:44:09,301 --> 01:44:11,770
Oh, of course you did.
2102
01:44:11,929 --> 01:44:14,148
But, thanks for understanding.
2103
01:44:14,306 --> 01:44:17,105
I was thinking about it,
and you're right.
2104
01:44:17,268 --> 01:44:18,895
I should really wait
for someone special.
2105
01:44:20,604 --> 01:44:23,608
Just, it's going to be tough
to find a guy as good as you.
2106
01:44:27,028 --> 01:44:28,120
I'm sure you will.
2107
01:44:34,952 --> 01:44:37,046
I feel like a whole new
man after this weekend.
2108
01:44:37,121 --> 01:44:38,589
Kind of sucks
we have to leave, though.
2109
01:44:38,664 --> 01:44:41,793
Not me. I'm going to take
some time off my job
2110
01:44:41,876 --> 01:44:43,719
and stick around here
with Heather for a while.
2111
01:44:43,794 --> 01:44:44,886
Nice!
2112
01:44:44,962 --> 01:44:46,088
What about you, Finch?
2113
01:44:46,172 --> 01:44:49,392
Selena and I, we're planning
a little jaunt to Europe.
2114
01:44:49,550 --> 01:44:52,144
Just make sure you call your mom.
She misses you.
2115
01:44:53,012 --> 01:44:54,389
How would you know?
2116
01:44:54,764 --> 01:44:55,765
(CHUCKLES)
2117
01:44:56,182 --> 01:44:57,183
Oh...
2118
01:45:00,311 --> 01:45:02,234
I guess this is it, huh?
Back to reality?
2119
01:45:02,396 --> 01:45:04,148
We shouldn't wait
until the next reunion.
2120
01:45:04,315 --> 01:45:07,410
We should try to get
together every year.
2121
01:45:07,526 --> 01:45:10,154
What do you say,
until next time?
2122
01:45:10,237 --> 01:45:12,410
Until next time.
Until next time!
2123
01:45:22,124 --> 01:45:23,421
(MIMICKING COUGH)
I fucked Finch's mom.
2124
01:45:23,542 --> 01:45:24,839
What?
2125
01:45:24,960 --> 01:45:26,303
What was that?
2126
01:45:41,519 --> 01:45:43,772
(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
2127
01:46:44,331 --> 01:46:46,083
(BREATH ES HEAVILY)
2128
01:46:48,377 --> 01:46:49,378
Hmm?
2129
01:46:50,045 --> 01:46:51,422
What's this?
2130
01:46:52,756 --> 01:46:54,508
Oh, no, dean No, no, no.
2131
01:46:54,675 --> 01:46:56,518
No, dear. No! (UNZIPPING)
2132
01:46:56,594 --> 01:46:57,595
Oh!
2133
01:47:03,475 --> 01:47:04,476
Oh...
2134
01:47:05,227 --> 01:47:08,276
Oh. Oh. Oh.
2135
01:47:08,522 --> 01:47:11,867
Ah. Oh. Oh.
2136
01:47:12,276 --> 01:47:15,155
Oh, boy. Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
2137
01:47:15,362 --> 01:47:17,456
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
2138
01:47:18,115 --> 01:47:19,708
Oh! Oh!
2139
01:47:19,783 --> 01:47:21,831
Oh, my God!
2140
01:47:22,203 --> 01:47:23,625
Ah! (LAUGHING)
2141
01:47:26,415 --> 01:47:27,416
(SIGHS)
2142
01:47:27,833 --> 01:47:28,686
(CLEARS THROAT)
2143
01:47:28,687 --> 01:47:29,426
Great movie.