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♪
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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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♪
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- (ELECTRONIC CLACKING)
- (SOFTLY): Ah. Ooh.
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(VIDEO GAME CHARACTER GRUNTING)
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(COMPUTERS BEEPING)
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(VIDEO GAME CHARACTER
SCREECHING)
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(WHISPERS):
Oh, bollocks.
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Uh, we've got a problem.
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- A cyberattack?
- Yes, Prime Minister.
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(SIGHS)
Took me two bottles of wine
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and half a packet of sleeping
pills to finally nod off.
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- Ah, oh...
- And you wake me
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because
some fat-fingered hacker's
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- pinched your PIN number.
- Well, it's
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a little more serious
than that, Prime Minister.
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- Mm!
- The identities of every one
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of our serving agents
have been exposed.
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What?!
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- Who's doing this?
- We're not sure, ma'am.
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So one week before I host
my first G12 summit,
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Britain's entire security
apparatus has been taken down,
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and you know
absolutely nothing?
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That does pretty much sum up
the situation,
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- ma'am, yes.
- Well, you'd better get someone
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on it and find me some answers.
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Yes, but that's the problem.
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We don't have any agents left.
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They've all been outed.
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So bring back an old one!
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♪
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(BIRD HOOTING IN DISTANCE)
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All units, this is Juliet Echo.
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Stand by
for target coordinates.
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(RUSTLING)
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Target acquired.
Repeat:
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target acquired.
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♪
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- Oh!
- (BODY THUMPS)
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Now, then, what have we here?
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Sorry, sir.
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Never mind, Baggaley.
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Your concealment and camouflage
work is definitely improving.
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- Thank you, sir.
- BOY: Come on!
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- ENGLISH: You, too, Ibadulla.
- We got him!
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Excellent. That is
a first-class mantrap.
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Six house points.
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- Yes!
- (TOY GUN ZAPPING)
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Right. Let's get back to school
before matron notices
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- you're missing.
- KIDS: Aw.
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And don't worry, there aren't
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any more booby traps.
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- Aah!
- Ooh.
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Apart from this one, of course.
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TEACHER: Excellent work.
Okay, well done.
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Come on, Frazer, keep up.
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♪
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Mr. English?
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We haven't seen him, sir.
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Ah.
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And that's camouflage.
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(EXCITED CHATTER)
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- High five!
- Hmm.
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♪
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(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
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ENGLISH:
And go.
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And go. And go.
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The welfare of your children
is our paramount concern.
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They're never exposed to any
unnecessary risk, I assure you.
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(BOY WHOOPS)
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(GASPS)
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I think that's an "F"
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for your bomb disposal
coursework, Hattersley.
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You're looking
particularly beautiful tonight.
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KIDS: You're looking
particularly beautiful tonight.
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Ching!
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KIDS:
Ching!
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- Have a good half-term, sir.
- Thank you.
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Thank you, sir.
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(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
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(SIGHS)
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- ♪
- (ENGINE ROARING)
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(TIRES SQUEALING)
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♪
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(SIGHS):
Whew.
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You're seriously telling me
this is all we've got?
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Uh, most of them are either
dead, having hip operations,
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or recovering
from prostate surgery.
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(CLEARS THROAT)
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Okay.
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LESLEY:
Before your briefing,
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we'll need you to re-sign
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- the Official Secrets Act.
- Thank you.
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- Thank you.
- Thank you.
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(SOFTLY):
Thank you very much.
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Any of you gentlemen
remember this?
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- AGENT 5: Ooh, the Montblanc Blaster.
- Mm-hmm.
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Haven't seen one of those
for years.
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Take the cap off,
and, if memory serves,
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you've 20 seconds
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to replace it, or it detonates
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with the force
of a stun grenade.
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- (OTHERS CHUCKLING)
- Oh...
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(CHUCKLES BREATHILY)
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(SOFT, RHYTHMIC BEEPING)
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(PEN SCRIBBLING)
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(BEEPING ACCELERATING)
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- (BEEPING STOPS)
- (RELIEVED SIGH)
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Ooh.
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(SOFTLY):
Mm, thank you.
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Teas on the left, gentlemen,
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and coffees on the right.
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- AGENT 7: Excellent.
- AGENT 5: Oh, damn it.
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I forgot my pills.
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- (GRUNTING)
- AGENT 7: Here, have some of mine.
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AGENT 7:
Scotch whiskey single malt?
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AGENT 5:
Thank you very much.
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AGENT 7:
Coffee.
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Ooh. Here,
let me help you with that.
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ENGLISH:
Tea?
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- (SOFT BEEPING)
- Ooh, this one just needs
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a little top-up of hot water.
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I'll be right back.
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(DOOR OPENS)
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AGENT 7: Man's a divot
of the first order.
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- Someone should put him out of his misery.
- Oh. Oh. Ah.
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AGENT 5:
Along with whoever furnished
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- this room. - Ooh. (GASPS)
- (CAP CLATTERING)
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- (AGENTS LAUGHING)
- (GASPS)
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(MUFFLED EXPLOSION)
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(STAMMERING)
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PEGASUS:
Ah, good morning.
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Sorry to keep you.
(CLEARS THROAT)
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Are the others here?
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Um...
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PEGASUS:
Oh.
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Mm, they, um...
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they nodded off.
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Right.
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And who are you, exactly?
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English.
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- Johnny English.
- Well.
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- English.
- (WRY CHUCKLE)
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You'll leave immediately.
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My people will give you
the full briefing en route.
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Oh, is there anything you need?
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Yes. Nerve gas nasal spray,
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a type four exoskeleton... you
should probably start a list...
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and a garroting watch,
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with a rubber strap,
not the steel bracelet,
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'cause the links get caught in
the little hairs on my wrist.
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Oh, and I'll also need a Bough.
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What's a Bough?
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- (DOOR OPENS)
- Sir!
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(CHUCKLES)
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Wonderful to see you!
157
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Yes, all right, Bough.
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We're going on a mission,
not a honeymoon.
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Yes, of course, sir.
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Ah. I think it's the pin of
your buckle, sir, it's caught
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- on my jumper.
- Yes, I can see what's wrong, Bough.
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- BOUGH: Yeah.
- If you go to your left,
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and I'll go to my right...
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I'm sorry, no.
If you go to your right,
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and I'll go to my left.
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No. If I go clockwise,
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and you go anticlockwise.
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- Uh, no, I think that's making it worse, sir.
- Hmm.
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I'm surprised that didn't work.
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♪
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(BEEPING)
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P:
Good morning, sir.
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I have your
Agent Activation pack here.
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Department issue smartphone.
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580-megapixel camera,
4.7-inch retina HD display.
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(CHUCKLES)
Ingenious.
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And what does it shoot?
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Poison darts?
179
00:09:02,552 --> 00:09:05,117
It... doesn't shoot anything.
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It's a phone.
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00:09:06,819 --> 00:09:08,717
There's a Twitter handle,
Instagram feed,
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00:09:08,719 --> 00:09:10,716
and secure login for
the department Uber account.
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What's he on about, Bough?
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00:09:12,153 --> 00:09:14,784
I need a weapon,
not a box of gobbledygook.
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I think, uh, wh-what Agent
English is getting at, sir,
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is all this is
highly trackable.
187
00:09:19,751 --> 00:09:21,916
But since we're dealing
with a very sophisticated
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digital target,
we might be less visible
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if we took a more analog,
low-tech approach.
190
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Exactly.
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- I see.
- P: Ah.
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Is there anything else
I can get you?
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A gun?
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00:09:38,217 --> 00:09:40,282
We...
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00:09:40,284 --> 00:09:42,949
don't really do guns anymore.
196
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PEGASUS:
Just...
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00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:45,114
get him a gun.
198
00:09:45,116 --> 00:09:46,816
- Mm-hmm.
- P: Right, a gun.
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00:09:47,917 --> 00:09:50,082
(BEEPING, MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
200
00:09:50,084 --> 00:09:51,717
(SIGHS)
201
00:09:53,116 --> 00:09:54,948
P:
Right. Haven't actually...
202
00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:56,714
done one of these before.
203
00:09:56,716 --> 00:09:59,914
It is my obligation
under section 14
204
00:09:59,916 --> 00:10:01,847
of the Health and Safety
Directive to inform you
205
00:10:01,849 --> 00:10:04,514
that the equipment with which
you are about to be issued
206
00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:07,016
can cause injury
and bodily harm.
207
00:10:09,848 --> 00:10:13,048
Furthermore,
any agents with nut allergies
208
00:10:13,050 --> 00:10:15,815
- should be aware that traces of cashew oil...
- Thank you.
209
00:10:17,715 --> 00:10:19,548
Right, transport.
210
00:10:23,115 --> 00:10:25,680
So, take any hybrid you want.
211
00:10:25,682 --> 00:10:27,481
(EXHALES)
212
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:37,948
♪
213
00:10:40,547 --> 00:10:43,879
- I'll take this one.
- Oh, don't be ridiculous, English.
214
00:10:43,881 --> 00:10:45,745
This car's a relic.
215
00:10:45,747 --> 00:10:48,911
Drinks petrol, leaks oil, has
no passive, let alone active,
216
00:10:48,913 --> 00:10:52,178
- safety features.
- Do you know what else it doesn't have, sir?
217
00:10:52,180 --> 00:10:55,011
Satellite navigation
or a single computer chip.
218
00:10:55,013 --> 00:10:57,843
Making it completely invisible
to a digital enemy.
219
00:10:57,845 --> 00:11:00,278
(STARTS ENGINE)
220
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,611
The equipment
Agent English requested, sir.
221
00:11:02,613 --> 00:11:04,511
Thank you.
222
00:11:04,513 --> 00:11:06,645
- Phone, Bough?
- Yeah.
223
00:11:09,578 --> 00:11:13,077
That high-tech villain of yours
will never see us coming.
224
00:11:13,079 --> 00:11:14,710
(TIRES SQUEALING)
225
00:11:14,712 --> 00:11:17,845
♪
226
00:11:29,644 --> 00:11:32,509
BOUGH: Let's see
what they've given us. (SIGHS)
227
00:11:32,511 --> 00:11:34,176
Exoskeleton.
228
00:11:34,178 --> 00:11:35,876
Exploding cotton buds.
229
00:11:35,878 --> 00:11:37,876
The old shoebox inflatable.
230
00:11:37,878 --> 00:11:39,075
Hmm.
231
00:11:39,077 --> 00:11:41,276
Ooh. What are these?
232
00:11:41,278 --> 00:11:44,042
Instant Release
Super High Energy Pills.
233
00:11:44,044 --> 00:11:46,942
Like sticking your fingers
in an electric socket.
234
00:11:46,944 --> 00:11:49,708
- Highly recommended.
- Right.
235
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,208
So the red ones must be the
Total Knockout Sleeping Pills.
236
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:53,908
- Correct.
- Oh.
237
00:11:53,910 --> 00:11:56,007
Probably worth
labeling these. Um...
238
00:11:56,009 --> 00:11:57,207
Ooh.
(CHUCKLES)
239
00:11:57,209 --> 00:11:58,573
Look, sir.
240
00:11:58,575 --> 00:11:59,876
Sweeties.
241
00:12:00,977 --> 00:12:02,107
Ooh.
242
00:12:02,109 --> 00:12:04,540
Hang on a minute.
243
00:12:04,542 --> 00:12:06,507
I always did love a Jelly Baby.
244
00:12:06,509 --> 00:12:08,074
I wouldn't if I was you, Bough.
245
00:12:08,076 --> 00:12:10,673
"Jelly" is short for gelignite.
One bite, and it'll take
246
00:12:10,675 --> 00:12:13,507
the top of your head off
along with the roof of the car.
247
00:12:13,509 --> 00:12:14,676
What does this do?
248
00:12:15,942 --> 00:12:19,740
It's a mixtape, Bough.
249
00:12:19,742 --> 00:12:22,739
("I'M YOUR MAN" BY WHAM!
PLAYING)
250
00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:24,572
ENGLISH:
So, destination?
251
00:12:24,574 --> 00:12:26,739
BOUGH: South of France, sir.
That cyberattack seems
252
00:12:26,741 --> 00:12:28,806
to have been launched
from the Wi-Fi signal
253
00:12:28,808 --> 00:12:30,239
of a hotel in Antibes.
254
00:12:30,241 --> 00:12:32,039
♪ Call me good
255
00:12:32,041 --> 00:12:33,805
♪ Call me bad
256
00:12:33,807 --> 00:12:37,505
♪ Call me anything
you want to, baby ♪
257
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,506
♪ But I know, uh-huh
258
00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:41,105
♪ That you're sad
259
00:12:41,107 --> 00:12:43,605
♪ And I know
I'll make you happy ♪
260
00:12:43,607 --> 00:12:45,704
♪ With the one thing
that you never had ♪
261
00:12:45,706 --> 00:12:47,605
♪ Baby
262
00:12:47,607 --> 00:12:50,672
♪ I'm your man
263
00:12:50,674 --> 00:12:52,837
♪ Don't you know that?
264
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,570
♪ Baby
265
00:12:54,572 --> 00:12:57,173
♪ I'm your man
266
00:12:58,706 --> 00:13:00,204
♪ You bet!
267
00:13:00,206 --> 00:13:02,071
♪ If you're gonna do it,
do it right ♪
268
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,603
♪ Do it with me
269
00:13:03,605 --> 00:13:05,503
♪ If you're gonna do it,
do it right ♪
270
00:13:05,505 --> 00:13:07,070
♪ Do it with me
271
00:13:07,072 --> 00:13:10,004
♪ If you're gonna do it,
do it right. ♪
272
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:12,172
(PEOPLE COUGHING)
273
00:13:14,673 --> 00:13:17,803
Sir? Sir, I've just had
a fax through from HQ.
274
00:13:17,805 --> 00:13:19,803
Background checks
on all the guests
275
00:13:19,805 --> 00:13:21,703
that accessed
the Wi-Fi network.
276
00:13:21,705 --> 00:13:23,703
You see? Who needs e-mail?
277
00:13:23,705 --> 00:13:25,202
Un peu de champagne,
monsieurs?
278
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:26,203
Oh.
279
00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:29,702
Danke schön.
280
00:13:29,704 --> 00:13:33,503
Um... one name has raised
a red flag, sir.
281
00:13:33,505 --> 00:13:36,802
Sebastian Lynch, ex-Army
and Military Intelligence.
282
00:13:36,804 --> 00:13:40,169
Now selling his services
to the highest bidder.
283
00:13:40,171 --> 00:13:41,869
Where do we find him?
284
00:13:41,871 --> 00:13:43,201
Directly ahead, sir.
285
00:13:43,203 --> 00:13:45,901
He's got an 8:00 reservation
286
00:13:45,903 --> 00:13:48,769
at the Côte de Roc restaurant.
287
00:13:48,771 --> 00:13:50,870
- ♪
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
288
00:13:55,970 --> 00:13:57,968
- WAITER: Your usual, Monsieur Lynch?
- Champagne is great.
289
00:13:57,970 --> 00:14:00,001
BOUGH: The problem is
gonna be getting close enough
290
00:14:00,003 --> 00:14:01,833
for a full surveillance, sir.
291
00:14:01,835 --> 00:14:03,835
Not necessarily.
292
00:14:05,568 --> 00:14:08,169
(LIVELY FRENCH CHATTER
IN KITCHEN)
293
00:14:18,902 --> 00:14:20,566
(PHONE CHIMES)
294
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,167
LYNCH: Viola, darling,
I've just got to get this.
295
00:14:22,169 --> 00:14:23,867
Two seconds.
296
00:14:23,869 --> 00:14:26,133
Simple plan, two parts.
297
00:14:26,135 --> 00:14:28,766
You provide the distraction,
I'll get the phone.
298
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:31,166
- Yes, sir.
- And from now on...
299
00:14:31,168 --> 00:14:33,498
(FRENCH ACCENT):
perhaps we should zound
300
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:36,501
like French waiters.
301
00:14:37,867 --> 00:14:40,033
(FRENCH ACCENT):
French waiters?
302
00:14:40,035 --> 00:14:42,167
Yees.
303
00:14:43,267 --> 00:14:45,000
(WHISPERS):
Go on.
304
00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,765
And... done.
305
00:14:49,767 --> 00:14:52,564
Are you finished now?
306
00:14:52,566 --> 00:14:54,964
(FRENCH ACCENT):
Bread roll?
307
00:14:54,966 --> 00:14:56,830
Yes, thank you.
308
00:14:56,832 --> 00:14:59,765
BOUGH:
Excellent choice, madame.
309
00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:03,699
(FRENCH ACCENT):
Good evening. How are you?
310
00:15:05,599 --> 00:15:08,264
- Bread roll, sir?
- LYNCH: Yes. Thank you.
311
00:15:08,266 --> 00:15:10,632
(HUMMING TUNE)
312
00:15:11,799 --> 00:15:13,097
(SCOFFS)
313
00:15:13,099 --> 00:15:15,629
(WHISPERS):
One second.
314
00:15:15,631 --> 00:15:17,664
Excuse me. Uh, would you mind?
315
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:19,063
Oh. Yees.
316
00:15:19,065 --> 00:15:20,098
Evening.
317
00:15:21,165 --> 00:15:22,698
Evening.
318
00:15:24,631 --> 00:15:26,032
Yees.
319
00:15:28,132 --> 00:15:29,564
(GASPS SOFTLY)
320
00:15:36,564 --> 00:15:38,164
Zank you.
321
00:15:45,630 --> 00:15:46,797
Mm.
322
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:50,162
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
323
00:15:50,164 --> 00:15:52,596
- (RINGTONE PLAYING)
- LYNCH: Where's my phone?
324
00:15:54,263 --> 00:15:56,262
VIOLA:
That is your phone.
325
00:15:56,264 --> 00:15:58,195
(GRUNTING)
326
00:15:58,197 --> 00:16:00,594
- Whew. Whew.
- (RINGTONE CONTINUES PLAYING)
327
00:16:00,596 --> 00:16:01,994
(EXHALES)
328
00:16:01,996 --> 00:16:03,694
(MUFFLED RINGTONE)
329
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,661
Thank you.
330
00:16:05,663 --> 00:16:07,228
(TURNS OFF RINGTONE)
331
00:16:07,230 --> 00:16:09,493
Monsieur.
Uh, the, uh,
332
00:16:09,495 --> 00:16:13,560
the shell on my wife's lobster,
could you remove it, please?
333
00:16:13,562 --> 00:16:15,728
Mm, yees.
334
00:16:16,828 --> 00:16:18,761
Uh, um...
335
00:16:18,763 --> 00:16:20,193
Hmm.
336
00:16:20,195 --> 00:16:21,895
Uh...
337
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:26,560
Let me crack it for you.
338
00:16:27,662 --> 00:16:29,092
(LOW GRUNTING)
339
00:16:29,094 --> 00:16:31,761
(RATTLING)
340
00:16:36,928 --> 00:16:39,892
(GRUNTING, RATTLING)
341
00:16:39,894 --> 00:16:42,059
- (SNAP) - Oh!
- Ooh!
342
00:16:42,061 --> 00:16:43,192
Ow.
343
00:16:43,194 --> 00:16:44,992
- Oh.
- Qu'est-ce que tu fais?
344
00:16:44,994 --> 00:16:47,191
Qu'est-ce que tu fais?
Les crevettes...
345
00:16:47,193 --> 00:16:50,460
Flambez. Flambez les crevettes.
346
00:17:02,726 --> 00:17:04,660
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
347
00:17:05,726 --> 00:17:08,625
(CHUCKLING, HUMMING)
348
00:17:11,558 --> 00:17:12,724
- (RINGTONE PLAYING)
- Oh, not again.
349
00:17:12,726 --> 00:17:13,857
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
350
00:17:13,859 --> 00:17:15,657
Give me two seconds. Hello?
351
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:18,690
(GASPING, SCREAMING)
352
00:17:18,692 --> 00:17:20,622
- WOMAN: Oh, God!
- LYNCH: Steve, I'll have to call you back.
353
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:21,557
I'll call you back.
354
00:17:23,091 --> 00:17:24,692
Give me a sec.
355
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:32,856
Sebastian, don't get involved.
356
00:17:32,858 --> 00:17:35,489
(ENGLISH MUMBLES
WITH FRENCH ACCENT)
357
00:17:35,491 --> 00:17:37,822
(CHUCKLING QUIETLY)
358
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,555
Mm, mm.
359
00:17:39,557 --> 00:17:41,524
(EXASPERATED SIGH)
360
00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:45,123
- WOMAN: What is he doing?
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
361
00:17:45,125 --> 00:17:46,824
There we are.
362
00:17:49,690 --> 00:17:51,423
Voilà.
363
00:17:58,490 --> 00:18:00,087
Mm. Bon appétit.
364
00:18:00,089 --> 00:18:01,490
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
365
00:18:03,756 --> 00:18:05,189
I will talk to the manager.
366
00:18:08,622 --> 00:18:10,023
(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
367
00:18:16,089 --> 00:18:18,122
ENGLISH:
Textbook, Bough.
368
00:18:22,722 --> 00:18:25,153
BOUGH:
Just holiday snaps, sir.
369
00:18:25,155 --> 00:18:27,187
Wait a minute. This photo.
370
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:30,053
It was taken the same day
our villain accessed the Wi-Fi.
371
00:18:30,055 --> 00:18:31,819
And look.
372
00:18:31,821 --> 00:18:35,019
Scarcely 50 feet from shore.
373
00:18:35,021 --> 00:18:37,486
Whoever was on that yacht
374
00:18:37,488 --> 00:18:40,053
could easily have used
the hotel's Wi-Fi,
375
00:18:40,055 --> 00:18:43,652
sent that signal,
and then just sailed away.
376
00:18:43,654 --> 00:18:45,052
ENGLISH:
I think it's time
377
00:18:45,054 --> 00:18:48,718
we paid the Dot Calm a visit.
378
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,485
(PANICKED SHOUTS, YELLING)
379
00:18:52,487 --> 00:18:54,884
(GLASS SHATTERING,
FLAMES WHOOSHING)
380
00:18:54,886 --> 00:18:57,154
(SHOUTING, SCREAMING)
381
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,118
VOLTA:
Algorithms.
382
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:04,684
We are surrounded by them.
383
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:07,018
Algorithms run our lives,
384
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:09,651
choose our TV shows,
stream our music,
385
00:19:09,653 --> 00:19:11,517
even find us a date.
386
00:19:11,519 --> 00:19:13,118
- (LAUGHTER)
- MAN: Yeah, man!
387
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:14,918
I know this chap, don't I?
388
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,983
Yes, he's that
Silicon Valley billionaire
389
00:19:16,985 --> 00:19:18,716
who dated a Kardashian.
390
00:19:18,718 --> 00:19:19,983
Two Kardashians.
391
00:19:19,985 --> 00:19:21,783
And a Black Eyed Pea.
Keep watching.
392
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,783
VOLTA: But supposing
there was an algorithm
393
00:19:23,785 --> 00:19:25,117
for an entire country.
394
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:26,850
A single algorithm
that could be applied
395
00:19:26,852 --> 00:19:28,683
to every one of its problems.
396
00:19:28,685 --> 00:19:31,083
A single algorithm that
could take a second-rate nation
397
00:19:31,085 --> 00:19:32,983
and make it...
398
00:19:32,985 --> 00:19:36,549
- world-class.
- (APPLAUSE, WHOOPING)
399
00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:39,182
VOLTA: Every nation
is awash with data,
400
00:19:39,184 --> 00:19:40,682
so now, more than ever,
401
00:19:40,684 --> 00:19:42,815
we need to put
that data to work
402
00:19:42,817 --> 00:19:44,615
for the people.
403
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:47,748
These few lines of code
will deliver the kind of change
404
00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:50,581
they have been dreaming of
their entire lives.
405
00:19:50,583 --> 00:19:53,881
(OVER PHONE):
I am Xander. I love data.
406
00:19:53,883 --> 00:19:56,081
(WHOOPING)
407
00:19:56,083 --> 00:19:58,614
He's so clever.
408
00:19:58,616 --> 00:20:01,648
He's young, he's sexy,
he's insanely successful.
409
00:20:01,650 --> 00:20:04,583
Just the qualities we need
people to associate with me.
410
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:08,081
- Yes, Prime Minister.
- And they will do
411
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:09,948
when he starts working with us.
412
00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:12,713
But why would a Silicon Valley
billionaire work with us?
413
00:20:12,715 --> 00:20:15,147
Just... get him into Number 10
and let me work on him.
414
00:20:15,149 --> 00:20:16,882
- Yes, ma'am.
- Go on.
415
00:20:17,982 --> 00:20:19,713
(CLEARS THROAT)
416
00:20:19,715 --> 00:20:21,113
Oh, God, now what?
417
00:20:21,115 --> 00:20:22,812
There's been another attack,
Prime Minister.
418
00:20:22,814 --> 00:20:24,712
- Oh...
- Air Traffic Control.
419
00:20:24,714 --> 00:20:28,113
Someone's rerouted every flight
in Europe to Luton.
420
00:20:28,115 --> 00:20:30,612
For God's sake, tell me the
agent you've got in the field
421
00:20:30,614 --> 00:20:32,180
is making some progress.
422
00:20:32,182 --> 00:20:34,915
- (PANICKED SHOUTING)
- (SIREN BLARING)
423
00:20:38,781 --> 00:20:40,679
♪
424
00:20:40,681 --> 00:20:42,678
BOUGH:
So, how are we gonna find
425
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,712
the location
of that yacht, sir?
426
00:20:44,714 --> 00:20:46,712
ENGLISH:
Very easily, Bough.
427
00:20:46,714 --> 00:20:48,747
We ring MI7.
428
00:20:51,747 --> 00:20:54,544
Hello? Hello?
Uh, yes, I need the location
429
00:20:54,546 --> 00:20:56,747
- of a boat called...
- (RAPID BEEPING)
430
00:20:58,747 --> 00:21:00,477
- (BEEPING STOPS)
- Hello?
431
00:21:00,479 --> 00:21:03,745
Hello. Yes.
Uh, a boat called the Dot Calm.
432
00:21:03,747 --> 00:21:05,144
Yes, it's a play on words.
433
00:21:05,146 --> 00:21:06,510
Yeah. Where?
434
00:21:06,512 --> 00:21:08,112
- (RAPID BEEPING)
- (COINS CLACKING)
435
00:21:08,114 --> 00:21:10,412
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
436
00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:15,810
BOUGH: Looks about
half a mile out, sir.
437
00:21:15,812 --> 00:21:18,977
Do we want to try
and swim it, or...?
438
00:21:18,979 --> 00:21:20,577
No, Bough.
439
00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:22,677
This is a job
for the shoebox inflatable.
440
00:21:22,679 --> 00:21:24,611
No! Don't open it
in the car, sir!
441
00:21:27,511 --> 00:21:30,176
(AIRBAGS SQUEAKING
AGAINST WINDOWS)
442
00:21:30,178 --> 00:21:34,509
Can you reach your door handle?
443
00:21:34,511 --> 00:21:36,541
(SQUEAKING)
444
00:21:36,543 --> 00:21:38,242
Uh, no, sir.
445
00:21:38,244 --> 00:21:41,109
I'll try my side.
446
00:21:41,111 --> 00:21:43,943
(SQUEAKING)
447
00:21:43,945 --> 00:21:45,877
♪
448
00:21:58,477 --> 00:22:00,674
Right, Bough,
our aim is to get on board
449
00:22:00,676 --> 00:22:02,574
without anyone noticing.
450
00:22:02,576 --> 00:22:04,908
And how we're gonna do it:
451
00:22:04,910 --> 00:22:07,174
- magnetic boots.
- Brilliant, sir.
452
00:22:07,176 --> 00:22:09,507
Simple mechanism.
453
00:22:09,509 --> 00:22:11,108
Left switch activates
left boot.
454
00:22:11,110 --> 00:22:12,774
Right switch activates right.
455
00:22:12,776 --> 00:22:14,173
Okay.
456
00:22:14,175 --> 00:22:16,175
Let's go.
457
00:22:29,775 --> 00:22:33,640
Remember, the absolutely
vital element of this mission
458
00:22:33,642 --> 00:22:35,707
is surprise.
459
00:22:55,041 --> 00:22:57,105
(BOTH GRUNTING)
460
00:22:57,107 --> 00:22:59,038
Now, you have to get up
pretty early in the morning
461
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,506
to outwit British Intelligence.
462
00:23:03,473 --> 00:23:05,105
(GRUNTING)
463
00:23:05,107 --> 00:23:07,504
(BOTH SIGH)
464
00:23:07,506 --> 00:23:08,773
Quick.
465
00:23:11,605 --> 00:23:13,739
(ALARM BLARING)
466
00:23:15,139 --> 00:23:17,637
- (ALARM STOPS)
- OPHELIA: Good evening, gentlemen.
467
00:23:17,639 --> 00:23:20,837
Shall we start with your names?
468
00:23:20,839 --> 00:23:25,037
Clearly you have no idea
who you're dealing with.
469
00:23:25,039 --> 00:23:28,503
That's why I'm starting
with your names.
470
00:23:28,505 --> 00:23:30,702
Actually, would you mind
coming down here?
471
00:23:30,704 --> 00:23:33,670
It's really hard to have
a conversation like this.
472
00:23:33,672 --> 00:23:36,569
I have a better idea.
473
00:23:36,571 --> 00:23:38,537
(GRUNTING)
474
00:23:43,871 --> 00:23:45,702
It's no good.
It won't move, sir.
475
00:23:45,704 --> 00:23:48,236
(SCOFFS)
We'll see about that.
476
00:23:48,238 --> 00:23:50,937
Low-intensity
exploding cotton bud.
477
00:23:53,137 --> 00:23:54,768
(BEEP)
478
00:23:54,770 --> 00:23:55,935
That's quite a powerful charge
479
00:23:55,937 --> 00:23:57,501
for such a small space, sir.
480
00:23:57,503 --> 00:23:58,935
Oh, nonsense.
481
00:23:58,937 --> 00:24:00,701
(LOW WHIRRING)
482
00:24:00,703 --> 00:24:03,536
There'll just be a slight pop.
483
00:24:04,669 --> 00:24:06,770
(BOOMING EXPLOSION)
484
00:24:07,837 --> 00:24:10,167
(BOTH COUGHING)
485
00:24:10,169 --> 00:24:12,101
(QUIETLY):
Shall we locate the hold
486
00:24:12,103 --> 00:24:14,034
and look for the source
of that signal?
487
00:24:14,036 --> 00:24:16,001
(LOUDLY): I think
we should locate the hold
488
00:24:16,003 --> 00:24:17,934
and look for the source
of that signal!
489
00:24:17,936 --> 00:24:19,435
- Shh, shh, shh.
- (MEN SHOUTING)
490
00:24:20,702 --> 00:24:22,902
- Come on!
- Shh, shh, shh, shh.
491
00:24:26,769 --> 00:24:28,701
♪
492
00:24:34,202 --> 00:24:36,466
I'd say we have
our villain, Bough!
493
00:24:36,468 --> 00:24:38,999
Shh, shh, shh. You need
to keep your voice down, sir.
494
00:24:39,001 --> 00:24:42,467
(WHISPERS): Ah. And
we're not going to lose him.
495
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,533
Hand me the sherbet fountain.
496
00:25:00,532 --> 00:25:03,631
Three sucks, and the location
transmitter is activated.
497
00:25:03,633 --> 00:25:07,564
This gin palace'll show up
as a hostile from 30,000 feet.
498
00:25:07,566 --> 00:25:09,564
Hmm.
499
00:25:09,566 --> 00:25:13,165
(QUIET BEEPING)
500
00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:19,664
This is now an enemy target.
501
00:25:19,666 --> 00:25:21,532
- (DOOR CLOSES)
- (INDISTINCT VOICES)
502
00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:26,830
Aniseed balls.
503
00:25:26,832 --> 00:25:28,763
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
504
00:25:28,765 --> 00:25:31,596
(GROANING)
505
00:25:31,598 --> 00:25:33,664
♪
506
00:25:35,232 --> 00:25:36,763
(GRUNTS)
507
00:25:36,765 --> 00:25:38,698
- (GUN COCKS)
- (SPLASH)
508
00:25:40,764 --> 00:25:44,164
If you'd wanted to kill me,
you would have already done so.
509
00:25:46,931 --> 00:25:49,464
Till we meet again.
510
00:25:53,064 --> 00:25:55,797
- (BODY THUMPS)
- (GROANING)
511
00:25:57,063 --> 00:25:59,229
Ow...
512
00:25:59,231 --> 00:26:00,728
Ooh...
513
00:26:00,730 --> 00:26:03,128
- (JOINTS CRACKING)
- Ooh. Ooh.
514
00:26:03,130 --> 00:26:05,794
Well, that was sooner
than I expected.
515
00:26:05,796 --> 00:26:07,628
(GROANS SOFTLY)
516
00:26:07,630 --> 00:26:09,128
Ooh.
517
00:26:09,130 --> 00:26:11,928
Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
518
00:26:11,930 --> 00:26:13,027
Oh...
519
00:26:13,029 --> 00:26:14,860
(SPLASH)
520
00:26:14,862 --> 00:26:17,928
BOUGH:
Who do you think she is, sir?
521
00:26:17,930 --> 00:26:20,526
Well, if she's not
the owner of that yacht,
522
00:26:20,528 --> 00:26:22,194
then she knows who is.
523
00:26:22,196 --> 00:26:26,893
Either way,
she's the key to this case.
524
00:26:26,895 --> 00:26:29,559
Is it true
you were teaching, sir?
525
00:26:29,561 --> 00:26:31,226
Before all this blew up?
526
00:26:31,228 --> 00:26:35,525
If by "teaching,"
you mean scouting
527
00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:38,659
for potential intelligence
operatives, then...
528
00:26:38,661 --> 00:26:41,026
- yes, I was.
- Hmm.
529
00:26:41,028 --> 00:26:43,025
I actually got married, sir.
530
00:26:43,027 --> 00:26:45,828
I... well,
I don't know if you heard.
531
00:26:47,095 --> 00:26:48,893
No.
532
00:26:48,895 --> 00:26:50,058
Hmm.
533
00:26:50,060 --> 00:26:51,791
Yeah, Lydia.
534
00:26:51,793 --> 00:26:53,161
Lovely girl.
535
00:26:56,227 --> 00:26:58,892
You never think about
getting hitched yourself, sir?
536
00:26:58,894 --> 00:27:01,158
(CHUCKLES)
This is no life
537
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:04,158
for a married man, Bough.
The danger,
538
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:05,558
- the constant travel...
- Here you go, sir.
539
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:06,725
- Oh.
- Thank you.
540
00:27:06,727 --> 00:27:08,627
More Lydia's life
than mine, sir.
541
00:27:10,026 --> 00:27:12,557
She's in the Navy, you see.
542
00:27:12,559 --> 00:27:15,590
What, as a cook?
Or some kind of...
543
00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:18,124
- seagoing secretary or...?
- Oh, no, sir.
544
00:27:18,126 --> 00:27:20,592
She's the captain
of a nuclear submarine.
545
00:27:21,691 --> 00:27:23,626
- Oh, right.
- Mm.
546
00:27:25,559 --> 00:27:29,824
D-Do you think we should get
some petrol for the Aston, sir?
547
00:27:29,826 --> 00:27:34,058
Nah. An Aston Martin is
surprisingly economical, Bough.
548
00:27:35,758 --> 00:27:39,391
Besides, it looks
like we're in business.
549
00:27:42,224 --> 00:27:45,557
♪
550
00:27:52,624 --> 00:27:54,124
Come on.
551
00:27:55,224 --> 00:27:57,057
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
552
00:28:01,523 --> 00:28:04,189
- BOUGH: Looks like an electric car, sir.
- Yes,
553
00:28:04,191 --> 00:28:06,054
and sounds like
a nose hair trimmer.
554
00:28:06,056 --> 00:28:07,622
(REVS ENGINE)
555
00:28:07,624 --> 00:28:09,687
ENGLISH:
A bunch of triple-A batteries
556
00:28:09,689 --> 00:28:12,654
is no match for old-fashioned
British horsepower.
557
00:28:12,656 --> 00:28:15,656
(ENGINE ROARING)
558
00:28:27,055 --> 00:28:28,620
(ENGINE ROARING)
559
00:28:28,622 --> 00:28:31,055
♪
560
00:28:33,022 --> 00:28:35,186
BOUGH:
Look at her cornering.
561
00:28:35,188 --> 00:28:37,455
Seems so effortless,
doesn't it, sir?
562
00:28:51,088 --> 00:28:52,021
(BEEPING)
563
00:28:57,620 --> 00:28:59,819
(TIRES SCREECH)
564
00:28:59,821 --> 00:29:01,020
(BOUGH GROANS)
565
00:29:06,053 --> 00:29:06,987
(SIGHS)
566
00:29:13,086 --> 00:29:15,951
(HONKING HORN)
567
00:29:15,953 --> 00:29:17,818
Arm the missile.
568
00:29:17,820 --> 00:29:19,584
The wh-what?
569
00:29:19,586 --> 00:29:21,817
The missile, Bough, the one
with the tear gas warhead.
570
00:29:21,819 --> 00:29:22,917
But they're just cyclists, sir.
571
00:29:22,919 --> 00:29:24,583
I mean, w-we'll get past
in a minute.
572
00:29:24,585 --> 00:29:26,617
They're French cyclists, Bough,
and they're obstructing
573
00:29:26,619 --> 00:29:27,852
Her Majesty's Secret Service.
574
00:29:35,852 --> 00:29:37,749
BOUGH:
Wiper stalk is armed, sir.
575
00:29:37,751 --> 00:29:38,818
(BEEP)
576
00:29:44,584 --> 00:29:47,048
(COUGHING,
CHATTERING IN FRENCH)
577
00:29:47,050 --> 00:29:49,216
BOUGH:
Sorry. Terribly sorry.
578
00:29:49,218 --> 00:29:51,216
- We do apologize.
- Stop it, Bough.
579
00:29:51,218 --> 00:29:53,050
You'll only encourage them.
580
00:29:54,584 --> 00:29:56,514
(CHUCKLES)
581
00:29:56,516 --> 00:29:58,481
(TIRES SQUEAL)
582
00:29:58,483 --> 00:30:00,884
♪
583
00:30:08,549 --> 00:30:11,147
- What are we gonna do now, sir?
- Patience, Bough.
584
00:30:11,149 --> 00:30:14,714
Driving like that, her battery
will be dead any moment,
585
00:30:14,716 --> 00:30:18,114
and she'll roll
to a humiliating stop.
586
00:30:18,116 --> 00:30:21,049
(ENGINE CHUGGING, CLICKING)
587
00:30:22,682 --> 00:30:24,616
(CHUGGING CONTINUES)
588
00:30:29,782 --> 00:30:32,048
(RAPID CHUGGING)
589
00:30:34,148 --> 00:30:36,646
(ENGINE STOPS)
590
00:30:36,648 --> 00:30:40,448
Bough, it is your job to keep
an eye on the fuel gauge.
591
00:30:48,548 --> 00:30:50,814
Very impressive driving,
Mr....?
592
00:30:52,082 --> 00:30:54,045
Golightly.
593
00:30:54,047 --> 00:30:57,845
Basil Golightly.
594
00:30:57,847 --> 00:31:01,912
And you're rather useful
yourself, Miss...?
595
00:31:01,914 --> 00:31:03,510
Bhuletova.
596
00:31:03,512 --> 00:31:05,511
Ophelia Bhuletova.
597
00:31:05,513 --> 00:31:06,677
Hmm.
598
00:31:06,679 --> 00:31:08,611
And this is...?
599
00:31:08,613 --> 00:31:10,544
Colin.
600
00:31:10,546 --> 00:31:13,777
I thought we were using
fake names.
601
00:31:13,779 --> 00:31:16,613
(WHISPERS):
That is a fake name.
602
00:31:19,446 --> 00:31:21,677
Oh, right.
603
00:31:21,679 --> 00:31:24,446
Yes, this is Colin.
604
00:31:25,712 --> 00:31:27,511
And I'm...
605
00:31:30,645 --> 00:31:32,509
(QUIETLY):
Dasil.
606
00:31:32,511 --> 00:31:33,776
Dasil.
607
00:31:33,778 --> 00:31:35,210
Mm, Basil.
608
00:31:35,212 --> 00:31:37,110
Well...
609
00:31:37,112 --> 00:31:38,810
Basil...
610
00:31:38,812 --> 00:31:40,976
maybe there's
a simpler way of doing this.
611
00:31:40,978 --> 00:31:42,909
Over a drink perhaps?
612
00:31:42,911 --> 00:31:44,742
Well, that'd be lovely.
613
00:31:44,744 --> 00:31:46,442
Shall we say...
614
00:31:46,444 --> 00:31:50,042
the bar at the Hotel de Paris
in Cagnes-sur-Mer? 8:00?
615
00:31:50,044 --> 00:31:52,142
Hmm. It's a date.
616
00:31:52,144 --> 00:31:54,009
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
617
00:31:54,011 --> 00:31:57,809
(ENGLISH CHUCKLES)
618
00:31:57,811 --> 00:32:01,541
Well... I think
my "running out of fuel" ruse
619
00:32:01,543 --> 00:32:03,608
worked pretty well.
620
00:32:03,610 --> 00:32:05,043
Mm.
621
00:32:07,877 --> 00:32:09,875
PRIME MINISTER:
What?
622
00:32:09,877 --> 00:32:10,874
(STAMMERS) Junior doctors...
they've confirmed
623
00:32:10,876 --> 00:32:12,507
they are going on strike,
624
00:32:12,509 --> 00:32:13,741
and the tube drivers
are coming out in support.
625
00:32:13,743 --> 00:32:15,041
Oh, God.
Leader of the Opposition,
626
00:32:15,043 --> 00:32:17,007
has he come round
from his heart surgery?
627
00:32:17,009 --> 00:32:18,773
- Yes, Prime Minister.
- Oh, Jesus Christ,
628
00:32:18,775 --> 00:32:21,607
when will something go right
for me? What do you want?
629
00:32:21,609 --> 00:32:24,541
They've, uh, hit us again,
Prime Minister.
630
00:32:24,543 --> 00:32:26,874
- Huh?
- Hacked into the Central Traffic Control System.
631
00:32:26,876 --> 00:32:31,107
Yes, they've turned every
traffic light in London to red.
632
00:32:31,109 --> 00:32:32,940
- (HORNS HONKING IN DISTANCE)
- (GROANS)
633
00:32:32,942 --> 00:32:34,740
Where's my bloody drink?
634
00:32:34,742 --> 00:32:38,572
You've got to be joking.
Vodka tonic, no ice, no tonic.
635
00:32:38,574 --> 00:32:40,407
- Yes, ma'am.
- Oh, and Mr. Volta's arrived, ma'am.
636
00:32:41,941 --> 00:32:43,507
(CLEARS THROAT)
637
00:32:44,574 --> 00:32:46,672
Mr. Volta.
638
00:32:46,674 --> 00:32:48,173
Welcome to Downing Street.
639
00:32:48,175 --> 00:32:50,973
I have read so much
about this wonderful building.
640
00:32:50,975 --> 00:32:52,972
Is this the stone
triple staircase
641
00:32:52,974 --> 00:32:54,838
- designed by William Kent?
- Um...
642
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:56,771
yes, it probably... is.
I can't swear to it.
643
00:32:56,773 --> 00:32:59,072
- I mean, I'm not very good...
- Can we do a quick...?
644
00:32:59,074 --> 00:33:00,605
XANDER:
Needs Photoshop.
645
00:33:00,607 --> 00:33:01,972
(CHUCKLES):
Oh, that's very...
646
00:33:01,974 --> 00:33:04,638
- Uh, th-this way.
- I am horribly late.
647
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:06,438
I do apologize.
It's the traffic.
648
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:08,172
It's the one thing
I don't love about London.
649
00:33:08,174 --> 00:33:10,771
Yes, um, well, I must admit
we are having a slight problem
650
00:33:10,773 --> 00:33:12,071
with the lights at the moment,
651
00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:13,670
- but nothing major.
- If you wanted,
652
00:33:13,672 --> 00:33:15,771
I could take a look;
it is kind of what I do.
653
00:33:15,773 --> 00:33:18,137
I think it, well, it's actually
a little bit more complex
654
00:33:18,139 --> 00:33:20,204
- than...
- Xander, get a Web address
655
00:33:20,206 --> 00:33:22,204
for London's
traffic control center.
656
00:33:22,206 --> 00:33:25,004
- (ELECTRONIC CHIME)
- XANDER: Here's the login page, Jason.
657
00:33:25,006 --> 00:33:26,606
Do you have a password?
658
00:33:29,038 --> 00:33:30,736
W... Um...
659
00:33:30,738 --> 00:33:33,203
Uh, I-I...
660
00:33:33,205 --> 00:33:34,670
I won't tell if you won't.
661
00:33:34,672 --> 00:33:36,170
Right you are.
662
00:33:36,172 --> 00:33:37,502
(ELECTRONIC CHIME)
663
00:33:37,504 --> 00:33:38,903
XANDER:
Bypassing security.
664
00:33:38,905 --> 00:33:40,636
Security bypassed.
665
00:33:40,638 --> 00:33:42,203
Oh, that's terrific.
666
00:33:42,205 --> 00:33:44,903
Someone is hacking you.
667
00:33:44,905 --> 00:33:46,835
Oh, I don't think so, no.
668
00:33:46,837 --> 00:33:48,936
Denied service attack. Yeah.
669
00:33:48,938 --> 00:33:51,435
Primitive but effective.
670
00:33:51,437 --> 00:33:53,602
You know what we could try?
671
00:33:53,604 --> 00:33:57,702
Rerouting all service requests
to our server farm in Nevada.
672
00:33:57,704 --> 00:33:58,935
Um...
673
00:33:58,937 --> 00:34:00,702
I...
674
00:34:00,704 --> 00:34:03,568
- (ELECTRONIC CHIME)
- XANDER: Rerouting, Jason.
675
00:34:03,570 --> 00:34:05,370
Rerouting complete.
676
00:34:06,636 --> 00:34:08,667
(HONKING STOPS,
TRAFFIC WHOOSHING)
677
00:34:08,669 --> 00:34:11,634
(CHUCKLES):
Oh, crikey.
678
00:34:11,636 --> 00:34:15,434
So, what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?
679
00:34:15,436 --> 00:34:17,934
You, Jason.
680
00:34:17,936 --> 00:34:20,133
(MOUTHS)
681
00:34:20,135 --> 00:34:21,935
I want to talk about you.
682
00:34:28,835 --> 00:34:32,468
(BOUGH GRUNTING)
683
00:34:35,835 --> 00:34:37,833
ENGLISH:
Excellent, Bough.
684
00:34:37,835 --> 00:34:39,733
Nearly there.
685
00:34:39,735 --> 00:34:41,732
- Nearly there.
- (CONTINUES GRUNTING)
686
00:34:41,734 --> 00:34:44,966
This is actually
a really nice hotel, Bough.
687
00:34:44,968 --> 00:34:48,665
I'm turning to the right...
688
00:34:48,667 --> 00:34:51,601
(MELLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
689
00:35:00,068 --> 00:35:02,998
Should one of us
keep Miss Bhuletova busy
690
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,198
while the other one
searches her room, sir?
691
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,199
Good idea, Bough.
692
00:35:07,201 --> 00:35:10,000
Alert me if you find anything.
693
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,533
♪
694
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:24,966
- (ENGLISH PLAYS SHORT MELODY)
- (PIANIST STOPS)
695
00:35:27,999 --> 00:35:29,765
(PIANIST RESUMES PLAYING)
696
00:35:31,166 --> 00:35:32,931
Mr. Golightly.
697
00:35:35,731 --> 00:35:37,097
Oh.
698
00:35:37,099 --> 00:35:38,797
Indeed.
699
00:35:38,799 --> 00:35:41,495
I thought perhaps
you weren't coming.
700
00:35:41,497 --> 00:35:42,863
On the contrary.
701
00:35:42,865 --> 00:35:45,662
Wild horses
couldn't keep me away.
702
00:35:45,664 --> 00:35:47,629
Madame? Monsieur?
703
00:35:47,631 --> 00:35:49,896
Evening.
What would you like?
704
00:35:49,898 --> 00:35:52,695
I'm feeling
a little homesick tonight.
705
00:35:52,697 --> 00:35:54,065
I'll have a Moscow Mule.
706
00:35:57,564 --> 00:35:59,962
And I'll have a London...
707
00:35:59,964 --> 00:36:02,496
Lemming, please.
708
00:36:03,763 --> 00:36:06,095
I'm not sure. What...?
709
00:36:06,097 --> 00:36:08,828
It's, uh, gin...
710
00:36:08,830 --> 00:36:11,928
(SIGHS):
vodka...
711
00:36:11,930 --> 00:36:13,661
Armagnac...
712
00:36:13,663 --> 00:36:15,461
sherry...
713
00:36:15,463 --> 00:36:19,994
with just a little bit
of Parmesan.
714
00:36:19,996 --> 00:36:21,462
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
715
00:36:23,596 --> 00:36:25,094
So...
716
00:36:25,096 --> 00:36:27,594
what brings you
to the South of France,
717
00:36:27,596 --> 00:36:29,861
Miss Bhilli... Bholly...
718
00:36:29,863 --> 00:36:33,060
- Bhuletova.
- Bhuletova.
719
00:36:33,062 --> 00:36:34,759
I'm just visiting
a friend of mine.
720
00:36:34,761 --> 00:36:35,728
Mm.
721
00:36:37,096 --> 00:36:38,794
(OLIVE PLOPS TO GROUND)
722
00:36:38,796 --> 00:36:42,528
And would this friend be
the owner of the Dot Calm?
723
00:36:43,895 --> 00:36:45,995
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Yes, he would.
724
00:36:47,095 --> 00:36:48,826
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
725
00:36:48,828 --> 00:36:51,626
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
726
00:36:51,628 --> 00:36:53,792
And what about you...
727
00:36:53,794 --> 00:36:57,558
- Basil?
- Oh, I'm just here on business.
728
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:00,192
Although it's rapidly
turning into pleasure.
729
00:37:00,194 --> 00:37:01,725
(CHUCKLES)
730
00:37:01,727 --> 00:37:02,794
Hmm.
731
00:37:04,659 --> 00:37:06,658
Ooh. I love these.
732
00:37:06,660 --> 00:37:07,861
Mmm.
733
00:37:11,659 --> 00:37:12,992
They're really hot.
734
00:37:12,994 --> 00:37:14,991
(CRUNCHING)
735
00:37:14,993 --> 00:37:17,091
Mmm. Ooh. Ooh.
736
00:37:17,093 --> 00:37:18,757
Oh. Oh.
737
00:37:18,759 --> 00:37:20,890
(WHEEZING):
Oh... oh...
738
00:37:20,892 --> 00:37:23,556
- oh... oh...
- Are you all right?
739
00:37:23,558 --> 00:37:25,557
Yes, fine.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
740
00:37:25,559 --> 00:37:28,756
(BREATHILY):
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay,
741
00:37:28,758 --> 00:37:30,656
ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay...
742
00:37:30,658 --> 00:37:31,990
(PANTING)
743
00:37:31,992 --> 00:37:34,157
(LOW GRUNTING)
744
00:37:34,159 --> 00:37:35,092
(CHUCKLES)
745
00:37:36,859 --> 00:37:38,456
Merci.
746
00:37:38,458 --> 00:37:40,890
Merci beaucou-pah.
747
00:37:40,892 --> 00:37:42,488
Cheers.
748
00:37:42,490 --> 00:37:44,656
I'm not sure
I've ever met a man
749
00:37:44,658 --> 00:37:46,755
quite like you, Basil.
750
00:37:46,757 --> 00:37:50,022
Let me clear up
the uncertainty for you.
751
00:37:50,024 --> 00:37:52,022
You haven't.
752
00:37:52,024 --> 00:37:54,757
(SLURPING)
753
00:38:00,557 --> 00:38:01,691
(CLEARS THROAT)
754
00:38:03,123 --> 00:38:05,056
(CHUCKLES)
755
00:38:05,058 --> 00:38:07,055
I'm sorry, Basil,
756
00:38:07,057 --> 00:38:09,088
I have to get up really early
757
00:38:09,090 --> 00:38:11,023
- tomorrow morning.
- Oh, that's a shame.
758
00:38:12,823 --> 00:38:14,623
A demain, Basil.
759
00:38:21,989 --> 00:38:24,420
How did you get on, sir?
760
00:38:24,422 --> 00:38:27,620
Oh, gosh, what a wonderful
woman, Bough. Wonderful!
761
00:38:27,622 --> 00:38:30,820
- Right.
- Charming, intelligent,
762
00:38:30,822 --> 00:38:32,486
lovely sense of humor.
763
00:38:32,488 --> 00:38:33,987
And obviously
entirely innocent.
764
00:38:33,989 --> 00:38:35,987
Although I broke into her room,
765
00:38:35,989 --> 00:38:37,553
and she does have
three passports, sir:
766
00:38:37,555 --> 00:38:38,886
Romanian, Bulgarian, Russian,
767
00:38:38,888 --> 00:38:40,619
different name in each.
768
00:38:40,621 --> 00:38:43,119
So she's been married
to three different people.
769
00:38:43,121 --> 00:38:45,853
Not unusual
in this day and age, Bough.
770
00:38:45,855 --> 00:38:47,586
Oh, and I also found
some garroting wire
771
00:38:47,588 --> 00:38:49,485
- and two boxes of ammunition.
- Well...
772
00:38:49,487 --> 00:38:51,618
single woman traveling alone.
773
00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:53,953
You can't be too careful.
774
00:38:53,955 --> 00:38:55,852
You don't think...
775
00:38:55,854 --> 00:38:57,751
she might be a spy, sir?
776
00:38:57,753 --> 00:39:00,053
A spy?
(CHUCKLES)
777
00:39:00,055 --> 00:39:03,720
I think I know what
a spy looks like, Bough.
778
00:39:27,652 --> 00:39:29,452
(GROANS SOFTLY)
779
00:39:32,818 --> 00:39:34,518
(EXHALES)
780
00:39:36,484 --> 00:39:37,719
(SMACKS LIPS)
781
00:39:49,151 --> 00:39:51,648
(MUMBLES)
782
00:39:51,650 --> 00:39:52,985
(SIGHS)
783
00:40:03,884 --> 00:40:04,982
Ah.
784
00:40:04,984 --> 00:40:06,048
Uh-huh.
785
00:40:06,050 --> 00:40:07,684
Uh...
786
00:40:09,749 --> 00:40:10,984
Yeah.
787
00:40:13,717 --> 00:40:15,048
(BEEPS)
788
00:40:15,050 --> 00:40:16,549
(OPENS DOOR)
789
00:40:26,682 --> 00:40:28,615
♪
790
00:40:32,049 --> 00:40:33,682
(GRUNTS)
791
00:40:35,548 --> 00:40:37,815
- (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
792
00:40:58,414 --> 00:41:00,681
(DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES
IN DISTANCE)
793
00:41:04,114 --> 00:41:06,446
(DANCE MUSIC DISTORTS, FADES)
794
00:41:11,048 --> 00:41:13,513
(DANCE MUSIC RESUMES)
795
00:41:28,779 --> 00:41:31,410
♪ If everything is changing
796
00:41:31,412 --> 00:41:33,510
♪ And I know, yeah
797
00:41:33,512 --> 00:41:35,710
♪ You gotta let go, oh-oh
798
00:41:35,712 --> 00:41:37,410
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh
799
00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:40,409
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh
800
00:41:40,411 --> 00:41:43,543
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh,
oh-oh, oh ♪
801
00:41:43,545 --> 00:41:44,676
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh
802
00:41:44,678 --> 00:41:46,542
♪ Got to let go
803
00:41:46,544 --> 00:41:48,642
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh
804
00:41:48,644 --> 00:41:51,475
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh
805
00:41:51,477 --> 00:41:53,843
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh
806
00:41:53,845 --> 00:41:55,509
♪ Got to let go...
807
00:41:55,511 --> 00:41:56,976
(HUFFS)
808
00:41:56,978 --> 00:41:59,511
♪ Wow! She's got it
809
00:42:01,610 --> 00:42:03,775
♪ Yeah, baby, she's got it
810
00:42:03,777 --> 00:42:06,408
Oh!
811
00:42:06,410 --> 00:42:07,942
♪ I'm your Venus
812
00:42:07,944 --> 00:42:09,641
♪ I'm your fire
813
00:42:09,643 --> 00:42:10,910
♪ At your desire
814
00:42:13,577 --> 00:42:15,775
- ♪ Well, I'm your Venus
- (OPHELIA GASPS)
815
00:42:15,777 --> 00:42:17,441
♪ I'm your fire
816
00:42:17,443 --> 00:42:18,876
♪ At your desire
817
00:42:21,909 --> 00:42:23,640
(CHUCKLING)
818
00:42:23,642 --> 00:42:25,609
(LAUGHS)
819
00:42:28,709 --> 00:42:30,076
Mmm... oh.
820
00:42:33,976 --> 00:42:35,409
Ah.
821
00:42:38,042 --> 00:42:40,007
(BOTH GRUNT)
822
00:42:40,009 --> 00:42:42,607
♪ She's got it
823
00:42:42,609 --> 00:42:44,573
♪ Yeah, baby, she's got it...
824
00:42:44,575 --> 00:42:47,007
- (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- (WOMEN WHOOPING)
825
00:42:48,675 --> 00:42:51,606
(BIRD SQUAWKING IN DISTANCE)
826
00:42:51,608 --> 00:42:54,472
("BUMP & GRIND"
BY VATO GONZALEZ PLAYING)
827
00:42:54,474 --> 00:42:55,572
♪ Drop
828
00:42:55,574 --> 00:42:57,006
♪ Yo, wha, bump and grind
829
00:42:57,008 --> 00:42:58,972
♪ This one girl
make you bump and grind ♪
830
00:42:58,974 --> 00:43:00,673
♪ Move to the left, girl,
move to the right... ♪
831
00:43:00,675 --> 00:43:01,905
Sir?
832
00:43:01,907 --> 00:43:03,872
Sir!
833
00:43:03,874 --> 00:43:05,972
I just got off the phone
to P in London.
834
00:43:05,974 --> 00:43:08,905
He's found out who the owner
of that yacht is. Jason Volta!
835
00:43:08,907 --> 00:43:10,638
The world's most powerful
Internet billionaire, sir.
836
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,038
And he's in London right now.
837
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:13,637
The prime minister is
838
00:43:13,639 --> 00:43:15,673
personally negotiating
a trade deal with him.
839
00:43:16,774 --> 00:43:18,739
Well, what are we waiting for?
840
00:43:19,706 --> 00:43:21,071
♪ Ha!
841
00:43:21,073 --> 00:43:22,838
♪
842
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:24,472
(ENGINE ROARING)
843
00:43:33,873 --> 00:43:35,937
(TIRES SQUEAL)
844
00:43:35,939 --> 00:43:37,603
♪ When two tribes go to war
845
00:43:37,605 --> 00:43:40,603
♪ A point is all
that you can score ♪
846
00:43:40,605 --> 00:43:42,635
♪ Score no more,
score no more ♪
847
00:43:42,637 --> 00:43:44,603
♪ When two tribes go to war
848
00:43:44,605 --> 00:43:46,772
MAN:
Hey!
849
00:43:48,938 --> 00:43:52,837
D-D-Do you think we might
slow down a little, sir?
850
00:43:52,839 --> 00:43:54,704
What?!
851
00:43:55,971 --> 00:43:58,337
Never mind!
852
00:43:59,871 --> 00:44:03,635
♪ Yeah.
853
00:44:03,637 --> 00:44:05,801
NEWSWOMAN: With what appears
to be another cyberattack,
854
00:44:05,803 --> 00:44:07,835
pressure is mounting
on the prime minister.
855
00:44:07,837 --> 00:44:10,401
- Every train in England?
- Yes, sir. They're all trying
856
00:44:10,403 --> 00:44:12,801
to terminate
at Bristol Temple Meads.
857
00:44:12,803 --> 00:44:15,101
(SINGING LIVELY DANCE BEAT)
858
00:44:15,103 --> 00:44:16,835
Morning, sir.
859
00:44:16,837 --> 00:44:18,568
You see this, English?
860
00:44:18,570 --> 00:44:19,835
- Yes.
- Right.
861
00:44:19,837 --> 00:44:21,001
Please.
862
00:44:21,003 --> 00:44:23,634
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- Whew!
863
00:44:23,636 --> 00:44:24,834
Tell me you've got something
864
00:44:24,836 --> 00:44:26,600
I can take
to the prime minister.
865
00:44:26,602 --> 00:44:29,834
Would the name of the man
responsible do, sir?
866
00:44:29,836 --> 00:44:31,134
Excellent, English, yes.
867
00:44:31,136 --> 00:44:34,402
It's Jas...
868
00:44:37,501 --> 00:44:39,468
(SNORING)
869
00:44:41,502 --> 00:44:43,699
(CONTINUES SNORING)
870
00:44:43,701 --> 00:44:45,532
Volta, sir.
871
00:44:45,534 --> 00:44:48,566
- Uh, J-Jason Volta.
- What?!
872
00:44:48,568 --> 00:44:51,166
You're accusing the PM's
knight in shining armor?
873
00:44:51,168 --> 00:44:52,666
I'd need hard evidence.
874
00:44:52,668 --> 00:44:53,799
Plap.
875
00:44:53,801 --> 00:44:56,465
Uh, blap, plap, plap.
876
00:44:56,467 --> 00:44:57,866
(MUTTERING)
877
00:44:57,868 --> 00:45:02,431
Which...
878
00:45:02,433 --> 00:45:04,799
Is why Agent English
is proposing a penetration
879
00:45:04,801 --> 00:45:06,932
of Volta's country estate
in Surrey.
880
00:45:06,934 --> 00:45:09,498
(QUIETLY):
Yes... yes...
881
00:45:09,500 --> 00:45:11,565
yes, yes...
882
00:45:11,567 --> 00:45:13,865
Well, do what you have
to do, English.
883
00:45:13,867 --> 00:45:16,698
But for God's sake,
be discreet about it.
884
00:45:16,700 --> 00:45:17,831
Oh!
885
00:45:17,833 --> 00:45:19,664
Oh, good.
886
00:45:19,666 --> 00:45:21,599
Oh. Oof.
887
00:45:26,966 --> 00:45:29,397
Virtual reality?
888
00:45:29,399 --> 00:45:31,064
That's right, sir.
P's built a computer model
889
00:45:31,066 --> 00:45:32,831
of the inside
of Volta's mansion.
890
00:45:32,833 --> 00:45:35,497
When you put on this headset,
it will look and feel
891
00:45:35,499 --> 00:45:38,462
as if you are inside the house.
You'll be able
892
00:45:38,464 --> 00:45:41,030
to open and close doors,
walk up and down staircases,
893
00:45:41,032 --> 00:45:43,563
completely familiarize yourself
with its layout.
894
00:45:43,565 --> 00:45:45,596
This floor moves
in any direction.
895
00:45:45,598 --> 00:45:47,662
Uh, so you can walk...
896
00:45:47,664 --> 00:45:48,763
(BEEPS)
897
00:45:48,765 --> 00:45:50,796
You can walk as far as you want
898
00:45:50,798 --> 00:45:52,862
in the virtual world...
899
00:45:52,864 --> 00:45:55,562
without ever actually
leaving this room.
900
00:45:55,564 --> 00:45:56,863
One thing, though, sir.
901
00:45:56,865 --> 00:45:58,496
- (BEEPS)
- The experience
902
00:45:58,498 --> 00:45:59,929
can be very disorientating.
903
00:45:59,931 --> 00:46:01,562
It's completely immersive,
and some people
904
00:46:01,564 --> 00:46:03,428
lose all track
of their actual surroundings.
905
00:46:03,430 --> 00:46:05,662
(CHORTLES) I think
we can pretty much guarantee
906
00:46:05,664 --> 00:46:07,495
that's not gonna happen.
907
00:46:07,497 --> 00:46:10,162
So I'll just need you to sign
the health and safety releases.
908
00:46:10,164 --> 00:46:14,095
Would you excuse me
while I find an iPad.
909
00:46:14,097 --> 00:46:16,628
Oh, go with him, Bough.
If we don't chivy him along,
910
00:46:16,630 --> 00:46:18,563
we'll be here all day.
911
00:46:19,429 --> 00:46:20,796
(SIGHS HEAVILY)
912
00:46:23,130 --> 00:46:24,663
Hmm.
913
00:46:26,863 --> 00:46:29,460
(MUMBLES)
914
00:46:29,462 --> 00:46:31,861
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)
915
00:46:31,863 --> 00:46:33,563
(WHIRRING STOPS)
916
00:46:37,096 --> 00:46:39,461
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADSET)
917
00:46:41,129 --> 00:46:42,929
♪
918
00:46:44,862 --> 00:46:46,127
Aha.
919
00:46:46,129 --> 00:46:49,460
(MUSIC CONTINUES OVER HEADSET)
920
00:46:56,895 --> 00:46:58,892
(DOOR CREAKS)
921
00:46:58,894 --> 00:47:01,561
- (CAR HORN BEEPS)
- (MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
922
00:47:04,927 --> 00:47:07,026
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- (HORNS HONKING)
923
00:47:07,028 --> 00:47:08,993
MAN:
Watch out!
924
00:47:10,927 --> 00:47:12,726
(HORN HONKING, TIRES SCREECH)
925
00:47:13,827 --> 00:47:16,457
(BEEPING)
926
00:47:16,459 --> 00:47:18,390
(AMPLIFIED BREATHING)
927
00:47:18,392 --> 00:47:21,624
(MUSIC CONTINUES OVER HEADSET)
928
00:47:21,626 --> 00:47:23,559
♪
929
00:47:27,092 --> 00:47:28,526
(EXHALES)
930
00:47:29,892 --> 00:47:30,890
(GRUNTS)
931
00:47:30,892 --> 00:47:32,124
WOMAN:
What the...?
932
00:47:32,126 --> 00:47:33,423
(GROANING)
933
00:47:33,425 --> 00:47:35,358
(BEEPING)
934
00:47:36,759 --> 00:47:39,757
FEMALE AUTOMATED VOICE:
Doors closing.
935
00:47:39,759 --> 00:47:42,092
Going down.
936
00:47:49,491 --> 00:47:51,455
(GRUNTING)
937
00:47:51,457 --> 00:47:52,623
(AUTOMATIC GUNFIRE)
938
00:47:52,625 --> 00:47:54,622
(IMITATING AUTOMATIC GUNFIRE)
939
00:47:54,624 --> 00:47:57,424
- What on earth are you doing?
- Hey.
940
00:48:02,791 --> 00:48:04,424
(BEEPING)
941
00:48:09,423 --> 00:48:11,688
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- (PANTING)
942
00:48:11,690 --> 00:48:13,621
(DOG YAPS)
943
00:48:13,623 --> 00:48:15,155
(WHINES)
944
00:48:15,157 --> 00:48:17,456
(MUSIC CONTINUES OVER HEADSET)
945
00:48:19,455 --> 00:48:20,723
(GRUNTS)
946
00:48:41,555 --> 00:48:43,753
- Hey!
- Oh!
947
00:48:43,755 --> 00:48:45,719
(GRUNTING)
948
00:48:45,721 --> 00:48:47,452
(WHIMPERING)
949
00:48:47,454 --> 00:48:49,586
- (GASPS, YELLS)
- (TIRES SCREECH)
950
00:48:49,588 --> 00:48:50,653
(YELLS)
951
00:48:50,655 --> 00:48:51,988
- (HORNS HONKING)
- (CHUCKLES)
952
00:48:58,054 --> 00:48:59,986
Sorry, sir, but you're going
to have to leave.
953
00:48:59,988 --> 00:49:01,718
Ow! Wha...?
954
00:49:01,720 --> 00:49:02,820
Ow!
955
00:49:02,822 --> 00:49:03,919
Don't...
956
00:49:03,921 --> 00:49:05,420
(GRUNTING)
957
00:49:06,620 --> 00:49:07,587
Aah!
958
00:49:08,754 --> 00:49:09,952
(EXHALES):
Ah...
959
00:49:09,954 --> 00:49:10,887
(CHUCKLES)
960
00:49:11,821 --> 00:49:12,754
(GLASS SHATTERS)
961
00:49:15,953 --> 00:49:18,484
(AMPLIFIED BREATHING)
962
00:49:18,486 --> 00:49:20,419
♪
963
00:49:22,386 --> 00:49:23,719
(BELL CLANGING)
964
00:49:25,786 --> 00:49:27,851
TOUR GUIDE:
So, we'll shortly be arriving
965
00:49:27,853 --> 00:49:30,651
at Admiralty House,
and that actually used to be
966
00:49:30,653 --> 00:49:33,553
Oliver Cromwell's
own house. Um...
967
00:49:34,885 --> 00:49:36,151
Uh...
968
00:49:36,153 --> 00:49:37,884
and then we'll be...
969
00:49:37,886 --> 00:49:40,384
going to Horse Guards Parade.
970
00:49:40,386 --> 00:49:42,917
- (GRUNTING)
- Ah...
971
00:49:42,919 --> 00:49:44,716
Perhaps you'd like
to sit down, sir.
972
00:49:44,718 --> 00:49:46,050
Aah! Ooh!
973
00:49:46,052 --> 00:49:47,616
Ooh! Aah!
974
00:49:47,618 --> 00:49:49,982
- TOUR GUIDE: Ooh! Aah!
- OTHERS: Hey! Whoa!
975
00:49:49,984 --> 00:49:52,615
(GRUNTS FIERCELY)
976
00:49:52,617 --> 00:49:55,883
(EXCITED CHATTER)
977
00:49:55,885 --> 00:49:57,382
Aah!
978
00:49:57,384 --> 00:49:58,715
Ooh!
979
00:49:58,717 --> 00:50:00,016
Ooh! Aah!
980
00:50:00,018 --> 00:50:02,016
However, the agent we have
on this mission
981
00:50:02,018 --> 00:50:04,581
is confident he's making
major progress, and, uh,
982
00:50:04,583 --> 00:50:06,882
yes, we have a potential
suspect who's been identified,
983
00:50:06,884 --> 00:50:10,714
and... further covert
investigations are now ongoing.
984
00:50:10,716 --> 00:50:12,447
(GASPING)
985
00:50:12,449 --> 00:50:13,981
Yes, quite.
986
00:50:13,983 --> 00:50:18,381
So I expect to have more
to announce on this front...
987
00:50:18,383 --> 00:50:19,750
shortly.
988
00:50:24,150 --> 00:50:26,449
(BELL DINGS)
989
00:50:29,615 --> 00:50:31,415
(ELECTRONIC CHIMING)
990
00:50:32,683 --> 00:50:34,582
Oh.
991
00:50:35,682 --> 00:50:36,914
BOUGH:
Sir?
992
00:50:36,916 --> 00:50:38,080
Hmm?
993
00:50:38,082 --> 00:50:39,612
Uh, is everything
all right, sir?
994
00:50:39,614 --> 00:50:41,412
Yes, I've done it, Bough.
995
00:50:41,414 --> 00:50:44,081
Child's play. Don't know
what all the fuss was about.
996
00:50:45,982 --> 00:50:48,782
(SIRENS WAILING)
997
00:50:51,815 --> 00:50:54,548
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
998
00:50:57,648 --> 00:50:59,679
Pleasure to see you again,
Prime Minister.
999
00:50:59,681 --> 00:51:01,912
(WHISPERS):
Uh, it's a hologram.
1000
00:51:01,914 --> 00:51:05,511
Apparently, you just
speak to it normally.
1001
00:51:05,513 --> 00:51:08,012
The pleasure's all mine.
1002
00:51:08,014 --> 00:51:09,546
Hate to rush you,
1003
00:51:09,548 --> 00:51:11,411
but was there something
in particular
1004
00:51:11,413 --> 00:51:13,813
- you needed?
- Actually, I was just calling,
1005
00:51:13,815 --> 00:51:18,578
really, to see if you had had
a chance to think things over.
1006
00:51:18,580 --> 00:51:19,979
I have.
1007
00:51:21,413 --> 00:51:23,410
But the thing is, Fiona,
1008
00:51:23,412 --> 00:51:26,077
I just don't really do
other people's security.
1009
00:51:26,079 --> 00:51:27,811
Not that I don't want to.
1010
00:51:27,813 --> 00:51:29,877
But your infrastructure is old.
1011
00:51:29,879 --> 00:51:32,377
Plus, the only way I could
keep you secure in the meantime
1012
00:51:32,379 --> 00:51:35,410
would be by storing all
your data on my own servers.
1013
00:51:35,412 --> 00:51:37,577
- Obviously, that would be...
- Yes. Jason,
1014
00:51:37,579 --> 00:51:39,011
what I really want to do
1015
00:51:39,013 --> 00:51:41,844
is announce this tie-up
at the G12 meeting.
1016
00:51:41,846 --> 00:51:44,676
Do we have a deal?
1017
00:51:44,678 --> 00:51:46,043
(CHUCKLES)
1018
00:51:46,045 --> 00:51:47,845
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
1019
00:51:53,778 --> 00:51:55,745
BOUGH (WHISPERS):
Good luck, sir.
1020
00:52:13,544 --> 00:52:15,142
VOLTA:
Hey.
1021
00:52:15,144 --> 00:52:17,109
- Sir?
- I said to get the chopper ready.
1022
00:52:17,111 --> 00:52:18,141
Right there.
1023
00:52:18,143 --> 00:52:20,375
Sir, right away, sir.
1024
00:52:20,377 --> 00:52:21,607
(IRRITATED):
Thank you.
1025
00:52:21,609 --> 00:52:23,507
- Tyler, come in.
- Copy.
1026
00:52:23,509 --> 00:52:25,641
Tyler, can you prepare
the chopper now?
1027
00:52:25,643 --> 00:52:27,574
TYLER:
I'll have everything ready
1028
00:52:27,576 --> 00:52:28,543
- in a couple of minutes.
- All right.
1029
00:52:35,976 --> 00:52:38,543
♪
1030
00:52:58,008 --> 00:52:59,739
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
1031
00:52:59,741 --> 00:53:02,472
We can't keep meeting
like this, Mr. Golightly.
1032
00:53:02,474 --> 00:53:05,639
- Oh, yes.
- Or do you want to end this charade
1033
00:53:05,641 --> 00:53:06,971
and tell me your real name?
1034
00:53:06,973 --> 00:53:08,072
- Uh...
- (DOOR OPENS)
1035
00:53:08,074 --> 00:53:09,772
- (LAUGHTER, CHATTER)
- Go.
1036
00:53:09,774 --> 00:53:11,972
MAN (IN DISTANCE):
Yeah, it's all good here.
1037
00:53:11,974 --> 00:53:14,005
There's so much
you don't understand
1038
00:53:14,007 --> 00:53:16,039
about this world
you've got caught up in.
1039
00:53:16,041 --> 00:53:18,471
Spare me the idiot act.
1040
00:53:18,473 --> 00:53:20,604
You're British Secret Service.
1041
00:53:20,606 --> 00:53:23,071
Impressive work in France,
by the way.
1042
00:53:23,073 --> 00:53:25,506
When did you realize
I was a spy, too?
1043
00:53:26,773 --> 00:53:30,070
Oh, pretty much straightaway.
1044
00:53:30,072 --> 00:53:31,772
- Mm.
- Hmm.
1045
00:53:34,472 --> 00:53:36,137
I've spent two years
undercover.
1046
00:53:36,139 --> 00:53:38,703
Simple operation
until you showed up.
1047
00:53:38,705 --> 00:53:40,603
And I like
to keep things simple.
1048
00:53:40,605 --> 00:53:43,937
Simple is my middle name.
1049
00:53:43,939 --> 00:53:45,703
- (DOOR OPENS)
- (GASPS SOFTLY)
1050
00:53:45,705 --> 00:53:46,937
MAN: Yeah, I hear you.
Well, I'm gonna need about
1051
00:53:46,939 --> 00:53:49,405
- five minutes...
- It would seem you've got a choice to make.
1052
00:53:51,771 --> 00:53:53,837
A temporary suspension
of hostilities?
1053
00:53:53,839 --> 00:53:55,936
A short-term partnership?
1054
00:53:55,938 --> 00:53:57,636
Agreed.
1055
00:53:57,638 --> 00:53:58,838
Mm.
1056
00:54:01,105 --> 00:54:02,637
(GRUNTS)
1057
00:54:04,704 --> 00:54:06,035
ENGLISH:
Hmm.
1058
00:54:06,037 --> 00:54:07,768
VOLTA: Politicians
are even more gullible
1059
00:54:07,770 --> 00:54:09,768
- than venture capitalists.
- XANDER: That is correct.
1060
00:54:09,770 --> 00:54:11,635
Get me a copy
of the target list.
1061
00:54:11,637 --> 00:54:14,402
We'll hit 'em once more
just to be on the safe side.
1062
00:54:14,404 --> 00:54:15,968
Give me your phone.
1063
00:54:15,970 --> 00:54:17,835
You don't have a phone?
1064
00:54:17,837 --> 00:54:19,835
A phone will give anyone
your precise location.
1065
00:54:19,837 --> 00:54:23,101
And yet they're so useful
for making phone calls.
1066
00:54:23,103 --> 00:54:25,634
- VOLTA: Excellent.
- I'm not phoning anyone.
1067
00:54:25,636 --> 00:54:28,669
I'm gathering evidence.
1068
00:54:31,003 --> 00:54:32,600
XANDER:
The target list, Jason.
1069
00:54:32,602 --> 00:54:34,967
Four iconic
Central London landmarks.
1070
00:54:34,969 --> 00:54:37,134
- Make your selection.
- Number three.
1071
00:54:37,136 --> 00:54:39,003
XANDER:
The London Eye?
1072
00:54:40,469 --> 00:54:42,800
This cyberattack
could potentially impact
1073
00:54:42,802 --> 00:54:45,666
16,000 visitors.
1074
00:54:45,668 --> 00:54:47,599
(OVER PHONE):
♪ Ra, ra, Rasputin
1075
00:54:47,601 --> 00:54:48,735
♪ Lover of the Russian...
1076
00:54:49,868 --> 00:54:51,599
I found him
1077
00:54:51,601 --> 00:54:53,899
snooping around upstairs.
1078
00:54:53,901 --> 00:54:55,933
And who are you, exactly?
1079
00:54:55,935 --> 00:54:59,065
- I'm not telling you anything.
- Hmm.
1080
00:54:59,067 --> 00:55:02,498
XANDER: Face recognition
software launched.
1081
00:55:02,500 --> 00:55:04,465
Johnny English is
a geography teacher
1082
00:55:04,467 --> 00:55:06,599
from Lincolnshire.
1083
00:55:06,601 --> 00:55:07,965
Rather heavily armed
for a lesson
1084
00:55:07,967 --> 00:55:09,765
on European capitals,
Mr. English.
1085
00:55:09,767 --> 00:55:10,867
(CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY)
1086
00:55:12,367 --> 00:55:14,099
Any thoughts, sweetheart?
1087
00:55:14,101 --> 00:55:16,598
He's British Intelligence.
1088
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:19,064
(CHUCKLES)
And there you have it:
1089
00:55:19,066 --> 00:55:20,965
two words that have no right
1090
00:55:20,967 --> 00:55:23,864
being in the same sentence
together.
1091
00:55:23,866 --> 00:55:26,931
(CHUCKLES) Do you really think
I came here alone?
1092
00:55:26,933 --> 00:55:30,364
I have a team of crack
operatives out there right now
1093
00:55:30,366 --> 00:55:32,364
just waiting to strike.
1094
00:55:32,366 --> 00:55:34,697
(QUIETLY):
Uh-huh.
1095
00:55:34,699 --> 00:55:36,063
(BEEP)
1096
00:55:36,065 --> 00:55:38,098
- (PANTING)
- (DOGS BARKING)
1097
00:55:38,100 --> 00:55:40,396
Aah!
1098
00:55:40,398 --> 00:55:42,597
(LAUGHING)
1099
00:55:42,599 --> 00:55:45,363
What has happened
to this country?
1100
00:55:45,365 --> 00:55:47,897
How is it possible
that less than a century ago
1101
00:55:47,899 --> 00:55:51,097
the British Empire ruled
a quarter of the globe,
1102
00:55:51,099 --> 00:55:53,763
and now it's relying
1103
00:55:53,765 --> 00:55:55,662
on someone...
1104
00:55:55,664 --> 00:55:58,497
like you?
(LAUGHS)
1105
00:56:00,964 --> 00:56:02,462
(ENGLISH GRUNTS SOFTLY)
1106
00:56:02,464 --> 00:56:04,063
Hey, stop!
1107
00:56:04,065 --> 00:56:05,395
(GRUNTING)
1108
00:56:05,397 --> 00:56:06,397
Stop him?
1109
00:56:07,964 --> 00:56:09,764
- (GRUNTS)
- (DOOR BEEPS)
1110
00:56:12,364 --> 00:56:13,528
(VOLTA LAUGHS)
1111
00:56:13,530 --> 00:56:15,864
(PANTING)
1112
00:56:19,663 --> 00:56:21,329
Go.
1113
00:56:29,530 --> 00:56:30,995
- Close the gates.
- Yes, sir.
1114
00:56:30,997 --> 00:56:31,930
(REMOTE BEEPS)
1115
00:56:33,629 --> 00:56:34,830
(LAUGHS)
1116
00:56:36,429 --> 00:56:37,629
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
1117
00:56:41,629 --> 00:56:43,459
Help! Stop!
1118
00:56:43,461 --> 00:56:45,927
Obstacle directly ahead,
Mrs. Trattner.
1119
00:56:45,929 --> 00:56:50,459
Check your mirrors
and bring the car to a stop.
1120
00:56:50,461 --> 00:56:52,359
(GRUNTS)
1121
00:56:52,361 --> 00:56:53,292
Uh, excuse me?
1122
00:56:53,294 --> 00:56:55,893
Hey, oh, what did you...
what have you...?
1123
00:56:55,895 --> 00:56:57,828
- Ooh.
- Thank you.
1124
00:56:58,761 --> 00:57:00,093
(GRUNTS)
1125
00:57:00,095 --> 00:57:03,659
- Drive.
- (WHIMPERING)
1126
00:57:03,661 --> 00:57:06,093
- Excuse me.
- What? What do you think you're doing?
1127
00:57:06,095 --> 00:57:09,626
Excuse me! You are not
a qualified instructor.
1128
00:57:09,628 --> 00:57:12,359
(SCREAMS)
1129
00:57:12,361 --> 00:57:13,525
(TIRES SQUEAL)
1130
00:57:13,527 --> 00:57:14,693
(TRATTNER SCREAMS)
1131
00:57:18,426 --> 00:57:20,691
- But what about my instructor?
- Turn left.
1132
00:57:20,693 --> 00:57:22,391
Oh!
1133
00:57:22,393 --> 00:57:23,960
- Turn right.
- (WHIMPERS)
1134
00:57:27,459 --> 00:57:29,458
- (TRATTNER GASPING)
- For future reference,
1135
00:57:29,460 --> 00:57:30,690
I'm on your left.
1136
00:57:30,692 --> 00:57:35,592
Please, stop.
I can't do this anymore!
1137
00:57:37,359 --> 00:57:40,490
Ah, I can't see anything now.
1138
00:57:40,492 --> 00:57:42,457
Good.
1139
00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:45,358
♪
1140
00:57:53,491 --> 00:57:56,290
- When I say go, turn sharp right.
- Uh-huh.
1141
00:57:59,058 --> 00:58:00,588
(TIRES SQUEAL)
1142
00:58:00,590 --> 00:58:01,590
Three, two, one.
1143
00:58:03,591 --> 00:58:04,558
- Go!
- (WHIMPERS)
1144
00:58:06,557 --> 00:58:07,688
- And straighten up.
- (GROANING)
1145
00:58:07,690 --> 00:58:08,789
Straighten up, straighten up.
1146
00:58:08,791 --> 00:58:09,955
And go!
1147
00:58:09,957 --> 00:58:11,655
(TIRES SQUEAL)
1148
00:58:11,657 --> 00:58:14,022
Let's go, let's go.
1149
00:58:14,024 --> 00:58:15,522
♪
1150
00:58:15,524 --> 00:58:16,557
Huh.
1151
00:58:20,489 --> 00:58:23,555
Oh, now just bear left
a little. Good.
1152
00:58:23,557 --> 00:58:24,523
Straighten up, straighten up.
1153
00:58:29,056 --> 00:58:30,587
Good.
1154
00:58:30,589 --> 00:58:31,990
(GRUNTING)
1155
00:58:33,989 --> 00:58:36,520
Well, that was very good,
Mrs. Trattner.
1156
00:58:36,522 --> 00:58:37,956
(TRATTNER WHIMPERS)
1157
00:58:40,089 --> 00:58:43,021
I think you made
some real progress today.
1158
00:58:43,023 --> 00:58:44,353
PEGASUS:
You're not hearing me, English.
1159
00:58:44,355 --> 00:58:46,721
Given the prime minister's
new friendship with Volta,
1160
00:58:46,723 --> 00:58:48,053
the situation has changed.
1161
00:58:48,055 --> 00:58:49,753
But the facts haven't, sir.
1162
00:58:49,755 --> 00:58:52,453
That attack is Volta's
responsibility.
1163
00:58:52,455 --> 00:58:55,485
According to you but not
according to anyone else.
1164
00:58:55,487 --> 00:58:57,453
PRIME MINISTER:
Is he here yet?
1165
00:58:57,455 --> 00:58:58,886
Good afternoon, Prime Minister.
1166
00:58:58,888 --> 00:59:01,652
- So, this is, uh...
- English, Prime Minister.
1167
00:59:01,654 --> 00:59:02,987
Johnny English.
1168
00:59:02,989 --> 00:59:05,652
What exactly do you have
to say for yourself?
1169
00:59:05,654 --> 00:59:06,752
Rather a lot, actually.
1170
00:59:06,754 --> 00:59:07,752
- Ah.
- (CHUCKLES)
1171
00:59:07,754 --> 00:59:09,918
However, men like me don't deal
1172
00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:11,584
in prevarication,
Prime Minister.
1173
00:59:11,586 --> 00:59:13,351
So let me get
straight to the point.
1174
00:59:13,353 --> 00:59:16,718
Jason Volta is the man
behind these attacks,
1175
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:20,086
and I have the evidence
to prove it.
1176
00:59:20,088 --> 00:59:23,584
I managed to record this
inside Volta's country lair.
1177
00:59:23,586 --> 00:59:25,618
But I should warn you,
Prime Minister,
1178
00:59:25,620 --> 00:59:30,051
that what you're about to see
is evil incarnate.
1179
00:59:30,053 --> 00:59:32,953
(INHALES)
Mm.
1180
00:59:34,752 --> 00:59:38,085
Here we are at Fifi's
third birthday,
1181
00:59:38,087 --> 00:59:40,050
and it's a very exciting day!
(LAUGHS)
1182
00:59:40,052 --> 00:59:41,850
(GROUP CHEERING)
1183
00:59:41,852 --> 00:59:44,917
Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!
1184
00:59:44,919 --> 00:59:45,984
GROUP:
Hooray!
1185
00:59:45,986 --> 00:59:49,349
♪ Happy birthday to you
1186
00:59:49,351 --> 00:59:51,717
- ♪ Happy birthday to you.
- (GRUMBLES)
1187
00:59:51,719 --> 00:59:53,517
(PHONE BEEPING)
1188
00:59:53,519 --> 00:59:56,616
- (SINGING STOPS)
- Thank you.
1189
00:59:56,618 --> 01:00:00,382
Can I just ask,
what is wrong with you?
1190
01:00:00,384 --> 01:00:03,449
The country is in a state
of complete chaos,
1191
01:00:03,451 --> 01:00:05,049
the press is wetting itself,
and the only person
1192
01:00:05,051 --> 01:00:07,414
capable of saving us
is the man you're accusing
1193
01:00:07,416 --> 01:00:08,749
of high treason.
1194
01:00:08,751 --> 01:00:12,016
I was in the room myself
when he gave the order,
1195
01:00:12,018 --> 01:00:13,548
Prime Minister,
but-but there was a,
1196
01:00:13,550 --> 01:00:14,916
- there's a, you know...
- Do you know what I was
1197
01:00:14,918 --> 01:00:15,848
in the room with, English?
1198
01:00:15,850 --> 01:00:17,782
Your file, which I've read
in its entirety.
1199
01:00:17,784 --> 01:00:19,982
And I have a few questions.
Did you or did you not
1200
01:00:19,984 --> 01:00:23,015
burn the Côte de Roc restaurant
in Antibes to the ground?
1201
01:00:23,017 --> 01:00:26,681
- Um...
- And did you or did you not fire a guided missile
1202
01:00:26,683 --> 01:00:28,515
at a peloton
of French cyclists?
1203
01:00:28,517 --> 01:00:30,982
- W-Well...
- Before commandeering
1204
01:00:30,984 --> 01:00:33,781
an open-top bus and tossing
the tour guide off the top deck
1205
01:00:33,783 --> 01:00:35,448
and then assaulting
an 82-year-old grandmother
1206
01:00:35,450 --> 01:00:36,981
in a sandwich shop
before battering
1207
01:00:36,983 --> 01:00:38,547
the employee
of said sandwich shop
1208
01:00:38,549 --> 01:00:41,081
with two organic
sourdough baguette?
1209
01:00:41,083 --> 01:00:43,847
Uh, I don't remember...
1210
01:00:43,849 --> 01:00:47,081
Do you have any idea
how hard it is to be me?
1211
01:00:47,083 --> 01:00:50,080
- Uh...
- Hmm?
1212
01:00:50,082 --> 01:00:52,580
Do you have
even the foggiest notion
1213
01:00:52,582 --> 01:00:54,579
of how virtually
impossible it is
1214
01:00:54,581 --> 01:00:57,713
to get anything done
in the face of events
1215
01:00:57,715 --> 01:01:00,579
and facts and voters
1216
01:01:00,581 --> 01:01:04,446
and that tsunami of tosspots
we call the national press?
1217
01:01:04,448 --> 01:01:07,946
Finally I get the chance to do
something good for my country,
1218
01:01:07,948 --> 01:01:09,112
and what happens?
1219
01:01:09,114 --> 01:01:12,411
The universe sends me you.
1220
01:01:12,413 --> 01:01:14,745
Well, do you know what I say?
1221
01:01:14,747 --> 01:01:17,477
I say "up the universe's arse!"
1222
01:01:17,479 --> 01:01:19,411
And do you know
what else I say?
1223
01:01:19,413 --> 01:01:21,378
You're fired
with immediate effect.
1224
01:01:21,380 --> 01:01:22,545
Now get out!
1225
01:01:22,547 --> 01:01:24,611
And make sure I never clap eyes
1226
01:01:24,613 --> 01:01:26,878
on that imbecile ever again!
1227
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:28,813
♪
1228
01:01:43,112 --> 01:01:45,345
(SIGHS)
1229
01:01:53,378 --> 01:01:55,311
(ENGINE STALLING)
1230
01:01:57,645 --> 01:01:58,677
(SIGHS)
1231
01:02:01,045 --> 01:02:03,677
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
1232
01:02:08,078 --> 01:02:11,542
What are you doing, sir?
1233
01:02:11,544 --> 01:02:13,509
What do you think
I'm doing, Bough?
1234
01:02:13,511 --> 01:02:15,076
I'm going home.
1235
01:02:15,078 --> 01:02:17,674
But the prime minister is
finalizing her deal with Volta.
1236
01:02:17,676 --> 01:02:19,042
She's taking him
to the G12 summit
1237
01:02:19,044 --> 01:02:20,709
in Scotland
as her special guest.
1238
01:02:20,711 --> 01:02:22,408
It's over, Bough.
1239
01:02:22,410 --> 01:02:25,708
And there's absolutely nothing
we can do about it.
1240
01:02:25,710 --> 01:02:28,574
But, sir, I have a plan.
1241
01:02:28,576 --> 01:02:30,376
Remember my wife?
1242
01:02:38,643 --> 01:02:40,441
Clear your baffles.
1243
01:02:40,443 --> 01:02:41,807
(SOFTLY):
What?
1244
01:02:41,809 --> 01:02:44,473
- Mind your head, sir.
- Ow! Ow.
1245
01:02:44,475 --> 01:02:47,007
- Ooh.
- Oh.
1246
01:02:47,009 --> 01:02:48,709
This says we're sinking.
1247
01:02:50,875 --> 01:02:51,739
(HISSES)
1248
01:02:51,741 --> 01:02:54,907
She's old
and a little rusty, but...
1249
01:02:54,909 --> 01:02:57,375
she can put on a hell
of a fireworks display.
1250
01:03:00,741 --> 01:03:03,873
(SEABIRDS SQUAWKING)
1251
01:03:03,875 --> 01:03:05,808
♪
1252
01:03:13,441 --> 01:03:16,339
Excellent work, Commander.
1253
01:03:16,341 --> 01:03:19,072
Jeremy has always spoken very
highly of you, Agent English.
1254
01:03:19,074 --> 01:03:21,306
Who?
1255
01:03:22,640 --> 01:03:27,105
Oh. Oh, yes. Yes. Hmm.
1256
01:03:27,107 --> 01:03:29,605
I'm no fan
of the pen pushers myself,
1257
01:03:29,607 --> 01:03:31,337
so when orders came through
stationing us here
1258
01:03:31,339 --> 01:03:32,638
for the summit, well,
1259
01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:34,670
I thought a lift
was the least I could do.
1260
01:03:34,672 --> 01:03:37,837
Right, let's get a move on,
Bough.
1261
01:03:37,839 --> 01:03:39,837
Oh, if you wouldn't mind
keeping your mobiles off
1262
01:03:39,839 --> 01:03:41,570
until you're well clear,
gentlemen.
1263
01:03:41,572 --> 01:03:44,037
The launch systems on the
missiles are a bit 1980s.
1264
01:03:44,039 --> 01:03:46,636
Gets a tad twitchy
around microwave radiation.
1265
01:03:46,638 --> 01:03:48,037
No problem there, Commander.
1266
01:03:48,039 --> 01:03:51,003
We're doing this mission
old-school.
1267
01:03:51,005 --> 01:03:52,938
♪
1268
01:03:56,572 --> 01:03:58,505
(GRAPPLING HOOK FIRES)
1269
01:04:00,571 --> 01:04:02,371
(SOFTLY):
This spot's perfect.
1270
01:04:04,437 --> 01:04:05,638
Come on.
1271
01:04:06,805 --> 01:04:09,505
(STRAINING)
1272
01:04:16,338 --> 01:04:18,968
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
1273
01:04:18,970 --> 01:04:21,601
(GRUNTS LOUDLY)
Sorry, sir.
1274
01:04:21,603 --> 01:04:24,334
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
1275
01:04:24,336 --> 01:04:27,501
Right, Bough.
Our mission here is simple.
1276
01:04:27,503 --> 01:04:30,902
Gain access to Volta's bedroom
and take him out.
1277
01:04:30,904 --> 01:04:32,901
BOUGH: How are you going
to get up there, though, sir?
1278
01:04:32,903 --> 01:04:37,003
A walk in the park
for the exoskeleton.
1279
01:04:43,469 --> 01:04:46,566
Remotely operated neoprene
bodysuit.
1280
01:04:46,568 --> 01:04:49,567
Increases the wearer's strength
a hundred times.
1281
01:04:49,569 --> 01:04:50,633
- Huh.
- Right.
1282
01:04:50,635 --> 01:04:51,500
Power it up.
1283
01:04:51,502 --> 01:04:53,002
Stick in the floppy disk
and let's go.
1284
01:04:58,434 --> 01:05:00,533
(COMPUTER BEEPS, WHIRS)
1285
01:05:00,535 --> 01:05:02,732
Just, um...
1286
01:05:02,734 --> 01:05:04,532
(BEEPING RAPIDLY)
1287
01:05:04,534 --> 01:05:05,567
(HISSING)
1288
01:05:12,768 --> 01:05:14,734
♪
1289
01:05:17,968 --> 01:05:19,967
Crikey, sir.
1290
01:05:36,433 --> 01:05:37,997
VOLTA:
When will the weapon be ready?
1291
01:05:37,999 --> 01:05:39,898
XANDER:
As soon as the prime minister
1292
01:05:39,900 --> 01:05:42,030
signs the agreement, tonight.
1293
01:05:42,032 --> 01:05:44,330
- VOLTA: How do I fire it?
- XANDER: Press once
1294
01:05:44,332 --> 01:05:46,563
and the attack is launched.
1295
01:05:46,565 --> 01:05:49,363
After which, the data
of every G12 country
1296
01:05:49,365 --> 01:05:52,997
will be transferred to the
servers on board the Dot Calm.
1297
01:05:52,999 --> 01:05:55,796
VOLTA:
Perfect.
1298
01:05:55,798 --> 01:05:57,930
Ah.
1299
01:05:57,932 --> 01:05:59,832
Cheers.
1300
01:06:04,865 --> 01:06:07,329
(VOLTA EXHALES)
1301
01:06:07,331 --> 01:06:09,696
You're working
for Russian Intelligence
1302
01:06:09,698 --> 01:06:11,329
and you have been
from the start.
1303
01:06:11,331 --> 01:06:13,496
Which is why I've taken
an antidote to the poison
1304
01:06:13,498 --> 01:06:17,461
you keep in your ring and which
you've poured into this drink.
1305
01:06:17,463 --> 01:06:20,563
And removed the firing pin
from that pistol.
1306
01:06:21,897 --> 01:06:25,828
(GUN CLICKING EMPTY)
1307
01:06:25,830 --> 01:06:27,528
(GASPS)
1308
01:06:27,530 --> 01:06:28,862
(GUN CLICKS EMPTY)
1309
01:06:28,864 --> 01:06:31,528
Everyone has to make a life
for themselves.
1310
01:06:31,530 --> 01:06:34,862
It's just sad that yours is...
1311
01:06:34,864 --> 01:06:37,360
- over.
- Hmm.
1312
01:06:37,362 --> 01:06:40,496
Fresh from my 3-D printer.
100% plastic.
1313
01:06:43,096 --> 01:06:45,459
And 100% deadly.
1314
01:06:45,461 --> 01:06:47,926
Killing me won't save you.
1315
01:06:47,928 --> 01:06:50,362
VOLTA:
(CHUCKLES) Don't bet on it.
1316
01:06:51,561 --> 01:06:54,426
Dobryy vecher, Ms. Bhuletova.
1317
01:06:54,428 --> 01:06:57,559
(SOFTLY): Seriously,
this cannot be happening.
1318
01:06:57,561 --> 01:06:58,695
Oh, but it is.
1319
01:07:00,028 --> 01:07:02,525
Drop the gun.
1320
01:07:02,527 --> 01:07:04,593
Get your hands in the air.
1321
01:07:04,595 --> 01:07:05,894
And you.
1322
01:07:07,761 --> 01:07:10,494
(BODYSUIT HISSING)
1323
01:07:13,994 --> 01:07:15,492
There's no time
for this, Johnny.
1324
01:07:15,494 --> 01:07:17,492
Oh, it isn't possible.
1325
01:07:17,494 --> 01:07:20,592
You cannot be working
with this English idiot.
1326
01:07:20,594 --> 01:07:23,958
Save the pillow talk
for your prison cell, Volta.
1327
01:07:23,960 --> 01:07:25,558
Are you inside, sir?
1328
01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:28,092
Yes, yes, Bough,
you can power down.
1329
01:07:28,094 --> 01:07:30,958
Everything's under control.
1330
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:32,891
- Shut down.
- (COMPUTER BEEPS)
1331
01:07:32,893 --> 01:07:34,092
(HISSES)
1332
01:07:34,094 --> 01:07:36,424
(SHOUTS)
1333
01:07:36,426 --> 01:07:39,291
(SCREAMING)
1334
01:07:49,526 --> 01:07:50,890
(GRUNTING)
1335
01:07:50,892 --> 01:07:53,358
♪
1336
01:07:54,925 --> 01:07:56,590
(SIREN CHIRPING)
1337
01:07:56,592 --> 01:07:59,389
REPORTER: An historic venue
for an historic meeting.
1338
01:07:59,391 --> 01:08:01,857
The delegates
from each G12 member nation
1339
01:08:01,859 --> 01:08:03,723
will have
their own priorities...
1340
01:08:03,725 --> 01:08:05,989
(REPORTERS SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY)
1341
01:08:05,991 --> 01:08:08,758
♪
1342
01:08:12,457 --> 01:08:14,722
(BREATH SHUDDERING,
TEETH CHATTERING)
1343
01:08:14,724 --> 01:08:16,657
How do we get in now, sir?
1344
01:08:20,656 --> 01:08:21,924
(BAGPIPES PLAYING)
1345
01:08:24,557 --> 01:08:26,823
Wh-What's the plan?
1346
01:08:28,791 --> 01:08:31,256
(BAGPIPES AND PERCUSSION
PLAYING LOUDLY)
1347
01:08:38,355 --> 01:08:41,456
(PLAYING DIFFERENT SONG
OUT OF TUNE)
1348
01:08:55,388 --> 01:08:57,889
(BAGPIPES DEFLATING)
1349
01:09:01,654 --> 01:09:04,454
GUARD:
Hey, you! Hey!
1350
01:09:17,887 --> 01:09:21,086
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
1351
01:09:21,088 --> 01:09:22,485
Thank you very much.
1352
01:09:22,487 --> 01:09:23,887
I hope you have
everything you need.
1353
01:09:36,753 --> 01:09:38,853
(METALLIC CREAKING)
1354
01:09:40,820 --> 01:09:42,650
ENGLISH:
Ow.
1355
01:09:42,652 --> 01:09:44,450
On behalf
of the United Kingdom,
1356
01:09:44,452 --> 01:09:47,750
may I welcome you here today
to this ancient meeting chamber
1357
01:09:47,752 --> 01:09:51,450
where the great Scottish clans
once settled their differences
1358
01:09:51,452 --> 01:09:53,883
and forged new alliances.
1359
01:09:53,885 --> 01:09:56,382
A place
I have specifically chosen
1360
01:09:56,384 --> 01:10:00,750
in order to make
a very special announcement.
1361
01:10:00,752 --> 01:10:01,750
- Oh.
- Sir?
1362
01:10:01,752 --> 01:10:03,050
Ow. Ooh.
1363
01:10:03,052 --> 01:10:05,715
- A-Are you all right, sir?
- No, I'm not all right.
1364
01:10:05,717 --> 01:10:06,983
Get me up, Bough.
1365
01:10:06,985 --> 01:10:08,618
(STRAINED GRUNTING)
1366
01:10:10,451 --> 01:10:11,982
It's very heavy, sir.
1367
01:10:11,984 --> 01:10:15,548
I know how heavy it is, Bough.
1368
01:10:15,550 --> 01:10:16,882
(GROANS)
1369
01:10:16,884 --> 01:10:19,450
We've got to get
to the conference...
1370
01:10:20,917 --> 01:10:24,415
...to the conference room
before Volta tr...
1371
01:10:24,417 --> 01:10:28,682
- before Volta triggers his weapon.
- (VISOR SQUEAKS)
1372
01:10:28,684 --> 01:10:32,681
And so, with my signature
on this agreement...
1373
01:10:32,683 --> 01:10:35,380
it gives me great pleasure...
1374
01:10:35,382 --> 01:10:39,814
oh... to welcome to you
my guest, my friend,
1375
01:10:39,816 --> 01:10:41,316
Jason Volta.
1376
01:10:42,850 --> 01:10:44,379
(LOW BEEPING)
1377
01:10:44,381 --> 01:10:47,680
XANDER: Standing by
to launch attack, Jason.
1378
01:10:47,682 --> 01:10:49,346
Damn it,
get me out of this stuff.
1379
01:10:49,348 --> 01:10:51,413
- Johnny?
- I can't see the join, sir.
1380
01:10:51,415 --> 01:10:52,880
ENGLISH: It's the clasp.
Release the clasp,
1381
01:10:52,882 --> 01:10:54,546
and the top and the bottom
separate.
1382
01:10:54,548 --> 01:10:56,980
(ENGLISH GRUNTING)
1383
01:10:56,982 --> 01:10:59,047
It must have jammed
when you fell over, sir.
1384
01:10:59,049 --> 01:11:00,545
- For goodness' sake.
- OPHELIA: Wait.
1385
01:11:00,547 --> 01:11:02,280
Try this.
1386
01:11:07,815 --> 01:11:08,813
BOUGH:
That is...
1387
01:11:08,815 --> 01:11:10,646
quite a lot of oil, sir.
1388
01:11:10,648 --> 01:11:11,946
ENGLISH:
Oh, come on.
1389
01:11:11,948 --> 01:11:14,046
Come on, come on, c...
1390
01:11:14,048 --> 01:11:16,679
Can you imagine
what the world would look like
1391
01:11:16,681 --> 01:11:18,414
if it was run by Apple?
1392
01:11:19,514 --> 01:11:20,946
Or Google.
1393
01:11:20,948 --> 01:11:22,579
Or...
1394
01:11:22,581 --> 01:11:23,979
me.
1395
01:11:23,981 --> 01:11:26,377
- (CHUCKLES)
- Shh.
1396
01:11:26,379 --> 01:11:29,978
Do you think you'd have
failing schools?
1397
01:11:29,980 --> 01:11:32,578
Do you think you'd have endless
waiting in your hospitals?
1398
01:11:32,580 --> 01:11:33,644
(QUIETLY):
No.
1399
01:11:33,646 --> 01:11:34,678
Think you'd have
such long lines
1400
01:11:34,680 --> 01:11:36,311
in your airports?
1401
01:11:36,313 --> 01:11:37,911
- No.
- PRIME MINISTER: No.
1402
01:11:37,913 --> 01:11:39,778
No, because all of these
1403
01:11:39,780 --> 01:11:42,411
are simple
data management problems.
1404
01:11:42,413 --> 01:11:44,410
And people like me,
1405
01:11:44,412 --> 01:11:45,877
we love data.
1406
01:11:45,879 --> 01:11:48,810
We live for data.
1407
01:11:48,812 --> 01:11:50,677
- ENGLISH: Ha!
- My...
1408
01:11:50,679 --> 01:11:52,777
You know
what I live for, Volta?
1409
01:11:52,779 --> 01:11:54,810
- PRIME MINISTER: Oh, God.
- (GROANS)
1410
01:11:54,812 --> 01:11:58,376
Eliminating the threat
that lying villains like you
1411
01:11:58,378 --> 01:12:00,343
pose to this country.
1412
01:12:00,345 --> 01:12:01,642
(WHISPERS):
Oh, for God's sake.
1413
01:12:01,644 --> 01:12:03,643
- Who is he?
- (LOW CHATTER)
1414
01:12:03,645 --> 01:12:06,009
- Arrest this wack job.
- The only person ordering
1415
01:12:06,011 --> 01:12:08,342
an arrest around here
will be me.
1416
01:12:08,344 --> 01:12:10,976
There's no cause for concern,
ladies and gentlemen.
1417
01:12:10,978 --> 01:12:13,043
You are now
in the capable hands
1418
01:12:13,045 --> 01:12:16,542
of Her Majesty's
Secret Service.
1419
01:12:16,544 --> 01:12:18,342
And, you, my friend,
1420
01:12:18,344 --> 01:12:20,576
are in
for an uncomfortable ride.
1421
01:12:20,578 --> 01:12:23,411
(GASPS)
1422
01:12:26,310 --> 01:12:27,577
Aah!
1423
01:12:28,677 --> 01:12:31,610
(CLATTERING IN DISTANCE FADES)
1424
01:12:32,844 --> 01:12:34,776
(LOUD CRASH)
1425
01:12:36,944 --> 01:12:38,844
Where was I?
1426
01:12:40,309 --> 01:12:42,474
Living for data.
1427
01:12:42,476 --> 01:12:44,074
Exactly.
1428
01:12:44,076 --> 01:12:45,974
My algorithms can solve
1429
01:12:45,976 --> 01:12:49,874
every one of your problems,
as long as I have one thing:
1430
01:12:49,876 --> 01:12:51,640
control.
1431
01:12:51,642 --> 01:12:55,406
And that is what you
are about to give me now.
1432
01:12:55,408 --> 01:12:56,973
Jason, I wonder if you
1433
01:12:56,975 --> 01:12:59,006
- could just clarify...
- Shut up.
1434
01:12:59,008 --> 01:13:01,974
- (EXCITED CHATTER)
- Now, hold on!
1435
01:13:01,976 --> 01:13:04,439
XANDER:
Castle now locked down...
1436
01:13:04,441 --> 01:13:07,341
and under your control, Jason.
1437
01:13:08,441 --> 01:13:10,906
The agreement this ignoramus
1438
01:13:10,908 --> 01:13:14,371
just signed didn't just give me
access to all the U.K.'s data,
1439
01:13:14,373 --> 01:13:17,472
it also gave me access
to a junction box
1440
01:13:17,474 --> 01:13:21,338
in North Ayrshire that connects
the entire World Wide Web.
1441
01:13:21,340 --> 01:13:23,705
Disable the fiber-optic cables
in that box,
1442
01:13:23,707 --> 01:13:25,405
and the Internet...
1443
01:13:25,407 --> 01:13:28,305
will cease to exist.
1444
01:13:28,307 --> 01:13:30,939
- (GROANING)
- Johnny? Are you okay?
1445
01:13:30,941 --> 01:13:33,239
(STRAINED GRUNTING)
1446
01:13:36,873 --> 01:13:39,004
Have you got a phone?
1447
01:13:39,006 --> 01:13:40,771
We need to call for backup.
1448
01:13:40,773 --> 01:13:42,471
There's no time for backup.
1449
01:13:42,473 --> 01:13:43,938
I'm going after Volta.
1450
01:13:43,940 --> 01:13:45,803
And don't lose that one!
1451
01:13:45,805 --> 01:13:47,971
VOLTA:
Do you understand
1452
01:13:47,973 --> 01:13:50,738
what it means
if I turn the Internet off?
1453
01:13:50,740 --> 01:13:52,337
Cities will go dark.
1454
01:13:52,339 --> 01:13:55,071
Planes will fall
out of the sky.
1455
01:13:55,073 --> 01:13:57,403
Trains will collide.
1456
01:13:57,405 --> 01:13:59,536
Law and order will break down,
1457
01:13:59,538 --> 01:14:02,936
and the world as you know it
will be over.
1458
01:14:02,938 --> 01:14:04,369
Show...
1459
01:14:04,371 --> 01:14:06,638
don't tell, right?
1460
01:14:07,905 --> 01:14:09,303
(ELECTRONIC DING)
1461
01:14:09,305 --> 01:14:12,368
XANDER:
Initiating attack, Jason.
1462
01:14:12,370 --> 01:14:15,302
Taking control of junction box.
1463
01:14:15,304 --> 01:14:17,836
Suspending Internet
and electricity supply
1464
01:14:17,838 --> 01:14:19,838
across Britain and Europe.
1465
01:14:21,437 --> 01:14:24,468
- Stage one of attack complete.
- (GASPING)
1466
01:14:24,470 --> 01:14:26,368
VOLTA:
Ladies and gentlemen...
1467
01:14:26,370 --> 01:14:29,534
I can stop the attack,
as long as each of you signs
1468
01:14:29,536 --> 01:14:31,401
the same agreement
as the prime minister,
1469
01:14:31,403 --> 01:14:33,501
giving me complete control.
1470
01:14:33,503 --> 01:14:34,868
Your call.
1471
01:14:34,870 --> 01:14:36,434
MAN:
Where's security?
1472
01:14:36,436 --> 01:14:38,434
(OVER PHONE): Welcome
to British Intelligence.
1473
01:14:38,436 --> 01:14:41,068
- Get me Pegasus.
- For MI5, press one.
1474
01:14:41,070 --> 01:14:43,468
For MI6, press two.
1475
01:14:43,470 --> 01:14:45,603
- (SIGHS)
- For MI7, press three.
1476
01:14:48,003 --> 01:14:49,533
(PHONE RINGS)
1477
01:14:49,535 --> 01:14:51,368
(BEEPING)
1478
01:14:52,802 --> 01:14:56,067
XANDER: Eight G12 signatures
now acquired.
1479
01:14:56,069 --> 01:14:57,867
Signal the chopper.
1480
01:14:57,869 --> 01:14:59,667
We're almost done here.
1481
01:14:59,669 --> 01:15:01,667
(OVER PHONE):
For accounts, press five.
1482
01:15:01,669 --> 01:15:04,366
- For childcare services, press six.
- Oh, come on.
1483
01:15:04,368 --> 01:15:06,733
- For more options, press seven.
- (BEEP)
1484
01:15:06,735 --> 01:15:08,966
(ALARM BLARING)
1485
01:15:08,968 --> 01:15:11,466
What?
1486
01:15:11,468 --> 01:15:13,632
XANDER: Only two
further signatures required
1487
01:15:13,634 --> 01:15:17,666
to achieve control
of G12 nations' data.
1488
01:15:17,668 --> 01:15:20,365
All U.K. data
now successfully transferred
1489
01:15:20,367 --> 01:15:21,965
- to the Dot Calm.
- (SLURPS)
1490
01:15:21,967 --> 01:15:23,798
(OVER PHONE):
For Aphrodite, press one.
1491
01:15:23,800 --> 01:15:26,298
- For Pegasus, press two.
- (GROANS)
1492
01:15:26,300 --> 01:15:27,566
(ALARM BLARING)
1493
01:15:27,568 --> 01:15:29,065
Oh, my God.
1494
01:15:29,067 --> 01:15:31,364
LYDIA (OVER SPEAKERS):
Dive the submarine. Repeat:
1495
01:15:31,366 --> 01:15:32,965
Dive the submarine.
1496
01:15:32,967 --> 01:15:33,934
(PHONE RINGING)
1497
01:15:35,466 --> 01:15:36,565
Director's office.
1498
01:15:36,567 --> 01:15:37,865
This is Johnny English.
1499
01:15:37,867 --> 01:15:40,032
I need to speak to Pegasus
immediately.
1500
01:15:40,034 --> 01:15:41,764
It's a national emergency.
1501
01:15:41,766 --> 01:15:43,734
- (PHONE RINGING)
- Uh, one moment, please, sir.
1502
01:15:45,399 --> 01:15:46,864
LYDIA:
This is HMS Vengeance.
1503
01:15:46,866 --> 01:15:48,664
We have a full launch code.
1504
01:15:48,666 --> 01:15:50,664
Repeat: Launch code is locked.
1505
01:15:50,666 --> 01:15:52,363
Do I have
your permission to fire?
1506
01:15:52,365 --> 01:15:55,330
Oh, my God. Would you
hold on one moment, please?
1507
01:15:55,332 --> 01:15:57,030
Sir? Sir!
1508
01:15:57,032 --> 01:16:00,362
Hello? Hello?
1509
01:16:00,364 --> 01:16:01,664
Sir. HMS Vengeance here.
1510
01:16:01,666 --> 01:16:03,596
Do I have your permission
to launch?
1511
01:16:03,598 --> 01:16:06,596
ENGLISH: What? Listen,
we have to call in an attack.
1512
01:16:06,598 --> 01:16:10,428
- LYDIA: Did you say attack, sir?
- Yes, an attack. Attack.
1513
01:16:10,430 --> 01:16:14,496
General quarters.
We are go for launch.
1514
01:16:14,498 --> 01:16:16,495
Target coordinates locked,
Commander.
1515
01:16:16,497 --> 01:16:17,497
Hello?
1516
01:16:18,965 --> 01:16:20,465
Hello?
1517
01:16:21,964 --> 01:16:23,430
Whoa!
1518
01:16:24,530 --> 01:16:26,630
♪
1519
01:16:29,997 --> 01:16:33,428
MAN: Commander,
the missile's being redirected.
1520
01:16:33,430 --> 01:16:37,530
It seems to be locking on
to a new hostile target.
1521
01:16:39,497 --> 01:16:40,928
What's a "Sherbet F"?
1522
01:16:40,930 --> 01:16:43,896
♪
1523
01:16:51,829 --> 01:16:55,527
- (GASPS, EXCITED CHATTER)
- What was that?
1524
01:16:55,529 --> 01:16:58,827
XANDER: Dot Calm appears
to be off-line, Jason.
1525
01:16:58,829 --> 01:17:01,695
The cyberattack
has been halted.
1526
01:17:05,462 --> 01:17:06,926
Did you...
1527
01:17:06,928 --> 01:17:09,895
make a call quite close
to the submarine, sir?
1528
01:17:12,628 --> 01:17:13,992
Um...
1529
01:17:13,994 --> 01:17:16,026
BOUGH:
Because, well...
1530
01:17:16,028 --> 01:17:18,325
you did it, sir.
(CHUCKLES)
1531
01:17:18,327 --> 01:17:19,761
Mission accomplished!
1532
01:17:20,994 --> 01:17:23,759
Well, exactly.
(CHUCKLES)
1533
01:17:23,761 --> 01:17:27,059
XANDER: I am reevaluating
our options, Jason.
1534
01:17:27,061 --> 01:17:29,526
(EXCITED CHATTER)
1535
01:17:33,727 --> 01:17:35,691
OPHELIA:
Johnny! Johnny!
1536
01:17:35,693 --> 01:17:38,691
Volta is getting away! He's
heading for his helicopter!
1537
01:17:38,693 --> 01:17:41,391
No, Bough.
1538
01:17:41,393 --> 01:17:42,992
This one's mine.
1539
01:17:45,393 --> 01:17:47,960
- ♪
- (STRAINED GRUNTING)
1540
01:18:04,726 --> 01:18:06,991
(CONTINUES GRUNTING)
1541
01:18:15,658 --> 01:18:18,424
This way, sir. Sir?
1542
01:18:25,824 --> 01:18:29,023
♪
1543
01:18:29,025 --> 01:18:30,655
Last two steps, sir.
1544
01:18:30,657 --> 01:18:32,790
(GASPS, GRUNTS)
1545
01:18:34,356 --> 01:18:35,688
(GASPS SOFTLY)
1546
01:18:35,690 --> 01:18:37,687
Not so fast, Volta.
1547
01:18:37,689 --> 01:18:39,288
(VOLTA LAUGHS)
1548
01:18:39,290 --> 01:18:41,722
Is this supposed to scare me,
Sir Lancelot?
1549
01:18:41,724 --> 01:18:43,923
(LOW GRUNTING)
1550
01:18:46,422 --> 01:18:48,054
- Take cover, Bough.
- Ooh.
1551
01:18:48,056 --> 01:18:50,823
- (BULLETS STRIKING ARMOR)
- (MUFFLED GRUNT)
1552
01:18:52,322 --> 01:18:54,420
(BOUGH WHIMPERING)
1553
01:18:54,422 --> 01:18:58,288
Don't worry, he's only got
six bullets in that thing.
1554
01:19:00,955 --> 01:19:03,421
And, of course,
the thing itself.
1555
01:19:05,354 --> 01:19:07,853
You've run out
of options, Volta.
1556
01:19:07,855 --> 01:19:09,953
Oh, you think you've won?
1557
01:19:09,955 --> 01:19:11,553
Mm.
1558
01:19:11,555 --> 01:19:13,352
XANDER:
Rerouting the attack
1559
01:19:13,354 --> 01:19:15,319
to our Nevada servers, Jason.
1560
01:19:15,321 --> 01:19:17,285
The world's going down,
English,
1561
01:19:17,287 --> 01:19:19,519
and I'll be
the last man standing.
1562
01:19:19,521 --> 01:19:21,351
Good-bye, English.
1563
01:19:21,353 --> 01:19:23,318
Good-bye, Internet.
1564
01:19:23,320 --> 01:19:25,285
OPHELIA:
I've got it!
1565
01:19:25,287 --> 01:19:28,852
That's a Gazelle 341
light attack helicopter.
1566
01:19:28,854 --> 01:19:31,452
If we can hack
into its operating system,
1567
01:19:31,454 --> 01:19:33,386
we can disable
the drive function.
1568
01:19:34,721 --> 01:19:35,986
Here.
1569
01:19:38,320 --> 01:19:40,284
VOLTA:
Look at you!
1570
01:19:40,286 --> 01:19:43,417
You couldn't use that thing
if your life depended on it!
1571
01:19:43,419 --> 01:19:45,584
(LAUGHS)
1572
01:19:45,586 --> 01:19:49,551
VOLTA: Let's get out of here.
Let's get this bird
1573
01:19:49,553 --> 01:19:51,383
in the...
(GRUNTS)
1574
01:19:51,385 --> 01:19:52,484
(LOUD THUMP)
1575
01:19:52,486 --> 01:19:54,651
♪
1576
01:19:54,653 --> 01:19:56,750
XANDER:
Rerouting complete.
1577
01:19:56,752 --> 01:20:00,584
Attack data now installed
at our Nevada servers.
1578
01:20:00,586 --> 01:20:02,750
Should I initiate?
1579
01:20:02,752 --> 01:20:04,385
Jason?
1580
01:20:06,485 --> 01:20:07,917
(GRUNTING)
1581
01:20:07,919 --> 01:20:11,349
Should I initiate
the new attack?
1582
01:20:11,351 --> 01:20:13,416
Initiate...
1583
01:20:13,418 --> 01:20:14,916
this.
1584
01:20:14,918 --> 01:20:17,315
(DISTORTING):
Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja-Jason.
1585
01:20:17,317 --> 01:20:20,284
♪
1586
01:20:27,450 --> 01:20:29,649
- (CLAMORING)
- PRIME MINISTER: Well, uh, ladies and gentlemen,
1587
01:20:29,651 --> 01:20:31,815
I think we can all agree
that wasn't quite the evening
1588
01:20:31,817 --> 01:20:33,681
we were expecting.
1589
01:20:33,683 --> 01:20:34,849
(SCATTERED CHUCKLES)
1590
01:20:34,851 --> 01:20:36,549
(PRIME MINISTER CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY)
1591
01:20:36,551 --> 01:20:38,514
(CLEARS THROAT)
1592
01:20:38,516 --> 01:20:40,915
I had hoped to present
to you tonight a vision...
1593
01:20:40,917 --> 01:20:42,481
- (WHISPERS): Thank you.
- of what Britain
1594
01:20:42,483 --> 01:20:45,015
might be, but as it happens,
1595
01:20:45,017 --> 01:20:47,715
the man who saved us all
this evening, the man who,
1596
01:20:47,717 --> 01:20:51,346
I might add, I personally
assigned to this case,
1597
01:20:51,348 --> 01:20:53,980
has presented us with
a different kind of vision,
1598
01:20:53,982 --> 01:20:55,714
a living embodiment,
if you like,
1599
01:20:55,716 --> 01:20:58,747
of those fundamental
British qualities
1600
01:20:58,749 --> 01:21:02,680
that have ensured that our
beloved island nation endures:
1601
01:21:02,682 --> 01:21:06,313
courage under fire,
endless ingenuity,
1602
01:21:06,315 --> 01:21:08,047
and, above all, a quiet...
1603
01:21:08,049 --> 01:21:11,381
unassailable dignity.
1604
01:21:12,281 --> 01:21:14,681
(GASPING, GROANS)
1605
01:21:15,948 --> 01:21:17,881
(EXCITED CHATTER)
1606
01:21:27,048 --> 01:21:27,981
Oh.
1607
01:21:30,047 --> 01:21:31,714
Thank you.
1608
01:21:38,914 --> 01:21:41,746
(CHEERING)
1609
01:21:45,646 --> 01:21:46,911
(REVS ENGINE)
1610
01:21:46,913 --> 01:21:48,378
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
1611
01:21:48,380 --> 01:21:49,713
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
1612
01:21:50,813 --> 01:21:52,944
Welcome back, Mr. English.
1613
01:21:52,946 --> 01:21:54,711
- Thank you, Headmaster.
- Thank you for agreeing
1614
01:21:54,713 --> 01:21:57,276
to be our guest speaker.
Now, the governors and staff
1615
01:21:57,278 --> 01:21:58,976
are all waiting for us
in the rose garden.
1616
01:21:58,978 --> 01:22:00,710
Yes, if you could
just excuse me
1617
01:22:00,712 --> 01:22:01,944
for a few minutes, Headmaster.
1618
01:22:01,946 --> 01:22:04,511
- What?
- Sir?
1619
01:22:07,045 --> 01:22:09,010
Oh.
1620
01:22:09,012 --> 01:22:11,876
- Morning, sir!
- Hello, sir!
1621
01:22:11,878 --> 01:22:13,010
- Welcome back, sir!
- Welcome back, sir!
1622
01:22:13,012 --> 01:22:14,910
- Sir!
- Hi, sir!
1623
01:22:14,912 --> 01:22:16,443
- Hello, sir!
- Welcome back, sir!
1624
01:22:16,445 --> 01:22:17,543
Hi, sir!
1625
01:22:17,545 --> 01:22:19,910
Surprise.
1626
01:22:19,912 --> 01:22:21,508
Thank you.
1627
01:22:21,510 --> 01:22:23,476
Where's Straker?
1628
01:22:23,478 --> 01:22:25,775
(GRUNTS)
Here, sir.
1629
01:22:25,777 --> 01:22:27,675
Good. And, of course...
1630
01:22:27,677 --> 01:22:28,942
Baggaley.
1631
01:22:28,944 --> 01:22:31,042
- Oh.
- That was very good, very good.
1632
01:22:31,044 --> 01:22:32,842
All right, gather round,
everyone, gather round.
1633
01:22:32,844 --> 01:22:33,974
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What is it?
1634
01:22:33,976 --> 01:22:35,275
- What is it?
- I've got some toys
1635
01:22:35,277 --> 01:22:36,641
- to show you.
- Yes! - Cool!
1636
01:22:36,643 --> 01:22:38,809
Yes.
1637
01:22:38,811 --> 01:22:41,374
- There we are. There we are.
- Ooh! - Jelly Babies!
1638
01:22:41,376 --> 01:22:43,275
Breadstick blowpipe, anyone?
1639
01:22:43,277 --> 01:22:44,974
- KIDS: Me! Me!
- There you go.
1640
01:22:44,976 --> 01:22:47,674
- Granny Smith hand grenade?
- Mine! - Mine!
1641
01:22:47,676 --> 01:22:48,774
And what about
a garroting watch?
1642
01:22:48,776 --> 01:22:50,474
- Here, sir.
- There you go.
1643
01:22:50,476 --> 01:22:51,973
- (BLOWS DART)
- Aah!
1644
01:22:51,975 --> 01:22:53,673
- KIDS: Ooh.
- Here, let me take that.
1645
01:22:53,675 --> 01:22:55,340
Don't worry,
it's only a mild sedative.
1646
01:22:55,342 --> 01:22:57,406
- (GROANING): Oh...
- What? - (BEEPING)
1647
01:22:57,408 --> 01:22:59,975
Oh. That's just
a five-second fuse.
1648
01:23:01,309 --> 01:23:02,640
Y-Yes, all right, we all know
1649
01:23:02,642 --> 01:23:03,973
- what garroting looks like.
- (COUGHING)
1650
01:23:03,975 --> 01:23:05,707
Whenever you're ready,
Mr. English.
1651
01:23:05,709 --> 01:23:07,273
Oh, I'm sorry, Headmaster.
1652
01:23:07,275 --> 01:23:08,873
I'll just be one moment.
1653
01:23:08,875 --> 01:23:10,473
(QUIETLY): Just stick those
back in place...
1654
01:23:10,475 --> 01:23:12,607
- Ooh.
- Put that away, shall we?
1655
01:23:14,407 --> 01:23:16,573
Yeah? Um...
1656
01:23:16,575 --> 01:23:19,574
HEADMASTER:
I always did love a Jelly Baby.
1657
01:23:24,808 --> 01:23:27,741
("MOVES" BY OLLY MURS
FEATURING SNOOP DOGG PLAYING)
1658
01:23:27,743 --> 01:23:32,743
Subtitles by explosiveskull