1 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,900 This here is the bounty hunter skit. 2 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,100 He's the bounty and I'm the hunter. 3 00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:24,500 Hey, can you keep an eye on him for a second if I'm inside here? 4 00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:28,800 Just relax. Just relax for a minute. Keep an eye on him? Just for a minute. 5 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,000 Come on, man, don't just stand there, come on. 6 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,900 Hey, hey, hey. 7 00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:50,700 - Hey, give me a hand? Can you-- - Give me a hand with this clown, huh? 8 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,300 - Come on. - Grow up... shut up. 9 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,700 You got some ID? You guys got some ID on you? 10 00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:59,100 - Everything's totally in the van, yeah. - Totally in the van? 11 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,000 You just can't cuff a man like this, buddy, you're disturbing the peace. 12 00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:06,200 Oh, I'm sorry. We were... He's a friend of mine, actually. 13 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,500 Frankly, I don't believe you guys. 14 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,900 You guys look like a couple of... lunatics or something. 15 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,200 - Yeah, here he comes. - How you doing? 16 00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:14,300 - How you doing? You with these guys? - Yeah, we're doing a thing for MTV. 17 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,800 - MTV, what, you got a permit? - I don't have a permit. 18 00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:19,300 - You don't have a permit. You got ID? - I don't have ID on me. 19 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,700 I can go to the car and get ID. 20 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,800 I don't believe you guys. You know, what the hell is this? You come here... 21 00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:25,500 You can't do this. Where you guys from, anyways? 22 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:28,100 - From Los Angeles. - You better go back to Los Angeles. 23 00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:31,200 For now, you're gonna have to go down to the station house with me. 24 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,500 Can I find out where these guys are going? 25 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,900 They're going downtown. Get in the car. 26 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:37,700 Get in the car. 27 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,400 Fellows, I got some bad news for you. You're under arrest... 28 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,300 for impersonating an officer. That's a felony. 29 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,500 And you, for disturbing the peace... 30 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,600 and I think there's a possible warrant on you. 31 00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:49,100 A felony? 32 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,400 - A felony? No. - They're gonna take me to gaol. 33 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,700 I don't know, but it doesn't happen like this on COPS, huh? 34 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,800 And, by the way... 35 00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:04,800 I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass. 36 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,500 - Shut up! - You son of a bitch. 37 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:08,800 Mother... 38 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,900 Mother... you gave me a heart attack. 39 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:17,800 You... That was so good. Oh, my God. 40 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:45,500 This is the Abe Lincoln beard of leeches. 41 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,300 Hey, hey, get them, get them. 42 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,100 Will you get them off my crotch? 43 00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:00,400 Should I lay down? 44 00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:04,800 I might have an Abe Lincoln mole of meeches. Leeches, I mean. 45 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,400 Four score and seven years ago our fathers founded... 46 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,100 upon this continent, a new nation... 47 00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:15,100 conceived of liberty, and dedicated to the proposition... 48 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,500 that all men are created equal. 49 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,900 We are now in a... 50 00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:25,200 We are now engaged in a civil war... 51 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:30,800 to test whether this nation, or any nation so conceived... 52 00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:33,800 and dedicated can long endure. 53 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:37,500 One's in my mouth! 54 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:40,600 Liberate. 55 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:42,400 Penetrate. 56 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:46,900 And, boy, can I... He's in my ear, get him out of my ear! 57 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,200 Yeah, I think you left off at "penetrate." 58 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:58,900 They won't. 59 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,200 Oh, sick! 60 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,500 That was a hairball of leeches. 61 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,600 This is my new contraption. 62 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,700 And it's gonna work. 63 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,500 This is ice barrel jumping. 64 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,300 One barrel, crap. It's like we're amateurs or something. 65 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,400 I can do four. Three is my unlucky number. 66 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,300 - All right. - You... got it! Let's go. 67 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:45,000 Did you hurt your unit? 68 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,100 I hurt my nuts. 69 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:11,400 I know you guys want me to eat... but that's not gonna happen. 70 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:12,900 It's not gonna happen. 71 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:39,900 Holy... 72 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,700 That's all I was waiting for. 73 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,900 That's what I needed to see, I didn't care about the makes. 74 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,000 Who cares about the makes? I wanna see people eating crap. 75 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,800 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is my father, Phil. 76 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,700 And today we're gonna watch my nephew Dusty pass wind. 77 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:28,900 Drop my pants now? 78 00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:30,100 - Yeah, drop them. - Okay. 79 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,500 - Mike him up good. - I'll mike him up good. 80 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,000 - Oh, Lord, what... - God. 81 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,200 I think I got the wrong angle here. 82 00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:42,500 Maybe you need to duct tape some of that hair off your ass. 83 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,200 Oh, he already started. 84 00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:48,700 Oh, God. Wait, wait, not yet, don't start yet. 85 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,300 Put it closer in there. 86 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:09,600 Is that all you got? 87 00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:12,400 No. I mean, it's like I'm about to crap and it's not coming. 88 00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:14,600 Well, if you got to, you got to. 89 00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,800 - How's the view from back there, Rob? - The view's great. 90 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:29,400 I've been to three world's fairs and four goat- screwings... 91 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,200 and I ain't never seen nothing like that. 92 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,100 Hey, Mum, come here for a second. 93 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,000 - Mum! - I can't. 94 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,600 - Come here for one second. - I can't. 95 00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:49,900 - Oh, my God, he's crapped on himself. - Look, it's running down his ass. 96 00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:53,100 He pooed, he pooed his pants. 97 00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:55,700 Good Lord! 98 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:59,000 - Is that it for you, Dad? - That's it for me. 99 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,100 Oh, did you crap on the mike? 100 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:12,600 Hey, Lynne. Lynne! 101 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,200 Lynne, you need some... Get some toilet paper. 102 00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:19,700 Come on, go get it. Come on. 103 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,000 He's your son. He's your son, go get it. 104 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:26,700 It's right there, I'll show it to you. I'll show it to you, come on. 105 00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:29,100 There. There it is. 106 00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:36,600 No, no, no! 107 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,800 Please, God. No. 108 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,600 I don't want it. 109 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,900 Okay, take it towards the bathroom. 110 00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:51,900 Take it towards the bathroom. Go. No! 111 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,100 Who is it? 112 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,400 You wanna see it? 113 00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:58,500 - You wanna see it floating? - God! Sick. 114 00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:02,400 Don't even think about touching that camera. 115 00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:06,300 It's gone. 116 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,600 Bottle skating. 117 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:13,700 It's not a bottle. 118 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,300 When you asked for these, what'd you ask for? Bottles, right? 119 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,400 - Bottles. - I call them bottles. 120 00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:18,900 - That's a bottle? - Water bottle. 121 00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,100 A bottle's made out of glass. 122 00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:21,700 - I call it a jug. - It's a jug. 123 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,700 Nice fall. Nice fall. 124 00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:55,200 Did I go a couple? 125 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,400 I hit my knee. 126 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,700 - What you got? - A little water bottle. 127 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,200 It's not a bottle, it's a jug. 128 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,600 That was really good. 129 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,100 My job on this show is to be naked, not kill myself. 130 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:27,500 This sucks so bad. 131 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:31,900 I'm so bummed right now. 132 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,700 - I don't wanna do this. - Does bunny need a hug? Come on. 133 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,300 - Come on. - Can I have one, too? 134 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,500 It's okay. 135 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,900 All right. Today, me and Ehren are riding on this enormous hill... 136 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:46,200 on this horrible tandem bike that has no brakes. 137 00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:48,600 We're dead. 138 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,500 Oh, shit! 139 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,900 That's the only bush Ehren's been in, in months. 140 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,400 Oh, my God! 141 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,000 Holy... 142 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,400 Holy shit. 143 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,600 That was so... up. 144 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:21,500 Oh, man. 145 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,300 It's there, man. You see it? 146 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,000 Bitch! Oh, God! 147 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,500 Oh, God! 148 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,700 Oh, son of a bitch! 149 00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:45,800 Oh, crap! 150 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,000 Oh, my God! Why? Why me? 151 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,000 Oh, son of a bitch! 152 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:21,200 Oh, God! Excuse me, man. Excuse me, dude. Oh, God! 153 00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:25,000 Oh, God! 154 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,700 Oh, crap! 155 00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:30,100 Oh, my goodness. Oh, goodie. Oh... 156 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,200 Oh, God! 157 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,000 Damn! Oh, man! 158 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,200 Oh, my God! 159 00:16:57,900 --> 00:16:59,400 Oh, man. 160 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,300 Son of a bitch! 161 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,100 He hit me right in the chin. 162 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,200 I'll see you at the office. 163 00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:07,200 These documents need to be done on time, let me tell you that. 164 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:32,500 - I can't believe he's making it. - He's rocking it out, dude. 165 00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:37,800 Today we're going to a sperm bank for the first ever Jackass spermathon. 166 00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:41,300 The events for which the contestants will be judged will be:. 167 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:45,400 sperm count, potency of the sperm, volume, and speed. 168 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:49,600 Let the games begin. 169 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,800 Stephanie will be our nurse today. She will be transporting... 170 00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:58,800 the samples from the contestant to another nurse. 171 00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:02,400 Now we're gonna draw the names to see who goes first. 172 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,100 All right, first... 173 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:11,100 - Preston. - I have the pole position... 174 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,900 which probably is an advantage in this situation. 175 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,900 I'll have to set the pace time. That might be hard. 176 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,700 I think I can handle it. My dad was a Marine Corps champion at Parris Island. 177 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,900 Since one of the events today will be a speed round... 178 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,100 who can deliver the fastest... 179 00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:29,100 Loomis will have a stopwatch, and he'll time the entrants... 180 00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:32,500 from the point they walk in the door to the point they walk out of the door. 181 00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:35,600 This is yours. We'll see you in a few minutes. 182 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:39,000 - I just need to frisk you first. - Oh, rock on. 183 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:44,700 - What's that? - That's Little P. 184 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,300 All right, you're clean. 185 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,300 You're supposed to put it through there, fool. 186 00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:54,500 This way. 187 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,600 - Time? - Five minutes and 50 seconds. 188 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,700 I'm a little nervous 'cause, you know, I'm with a bunch of dudes... 189 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,400 and, frankly, I don't think I can do it around these guys. 190 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,000 See you later. 191 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,000 Did you walk in there erect already? 192 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,500 No, it was kind of hard. That was more minutes getting it... 193 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,900 - Up. - ...up than getting it out. 194 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,500 We're at 11 and a half minutes. 195 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,000 I think we're bound to be here all day. 196 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,300 Come on, Kosick, come on. 197 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:26,700 Where is he? 198 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,400 - Time? - Damn! 199 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,100 Thirteen minutes, 29 seconds. 200 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,100 I wonder if that's a bad thing or a good thing in the long run. 201 00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:38,000 Good luck. 202 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,600 Break a leg. 203 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,500 I wonder if they can, like, smell each other when they go in there. 204 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:53,400 - Doesn't really look like that much, huh? - I couldn't get it up. 205 00:21:54,900 --> 00:21:58,400 - I'm tired. - Johnny "Pisces" Knoxville. 206 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:02,400 But I got to tell you guys, I got a secret weapon for speed: 207 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,500 American Grizzly. 208 00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:10,400 - Thank you. - Put it in the drawer when you're done. 209 00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:13,500 - Read the instructions, too. - Read the instructions over the sink. 210 00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:17,900 Paging Dr. Stateman. Dr. Stateman, please. 211 00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:26,000 Look at you. Gross. 212 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,600 I feel kind of weird being in the same... 213 00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:32,800 Paging Dr. Bender. 214 00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:35,700 I gotta come to terms with my sexuality. 215 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,900 I gotta know what I'm all about. 216 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,200 It's got hair in it. 217 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:44,800 How long was that? 218 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,700 - Six minutes, nine seconds. - Yeah! Oh, I'm in second. 219 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,300 - All right, Wee Man. You ready? - Yup. 220 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,400 Follow Nurse Stephanie. 221 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,600 - Here I go. - Have a good time. 222 00:22:58,300 --> 00:22:59,700 And, begin. 223 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,100 I was not even half- cocked. 224 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,700 - Oh, yeah. - It was like... It's like wet spaghetti. 225 00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:08,300 Yeah, it was terrible, like, what the... 226 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,300 'Cause I could hear Wee Man giggling outside... 227 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,000 and that wasn't helping anybody. 228 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:22,400 - Six minutes, three seconds. - Six minutes, three seconds. 229 00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:25,200 - Not much. - Not much. 230 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,100 But it's something. 231 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,500 Got dirty stuff in my mind. I'm ready to go. 232 00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:31,700 Thank you. 233 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,500 Have you been shaving your chest lately, Pontius? 234 00:23:33,700 --> 00:23:35,800 Oh, yeah, I did. 'Cause Manny does. 235 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,300 As soon as the door closes, that's when time goes. 236 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,400 - I'm gonna get naked. - Hurry up. 237 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:47,600 Success! 238 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,700 Every last drop. 239 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,300 Ten minutes, 52 seconds. 240 00:23:56,900 --> 00:23:58,200 It doesn't look like much. 241 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,700 It's up on the sides. It's moving. 242 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,200 - Did I have more than Pontius? - I think I'm in love. 243 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:04,400 Oh, yours is, like, chunky. 244 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:05,400 I'm gonna be so bummed... 245 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,600 when they announce my sexually transmitted diseases. 246 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,100 Oh, here comes the doctor with the results. 247 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,300 Who's Johnny? 248 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,700 - Johnny, that's me. - You're the last. 249 00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:17,700 - I got the lowest count? - You're the worst. 250 00:24:22,100 --> 00:24:24,100 Not far behind is Preston. 251 00:24:24,700 --> 00:24:26,500 Who is Chris and Rick? 252 00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:31,300 - It's 118, and Rick... Who's Rick? - Right here. 253 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,700 You give him this, he's 144. 254 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,100 Rick won! 255 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,200 Rick's got good sperm. 256 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,200 Now he's just got to find someone to put it in. 257 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,400 I'm Dave, and this is full- pipe skating. 258 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,300 Going to the airport? 259 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:46,800 - LAX? - Yeah. 260 00:25:47,700 --> 00:25:50,500 Can you help me with my other bag? My back is bad. 261 00:26:12,900 --> 00:26:15,300 Today, I am gonna do a little snow surfing. 262 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,100 You were so heavy coming down. 263 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:40,900 Excuse me. 264 00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,500 Hi, I'm Steve- O, and this is the crapper sled. 265 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,100 Here, get into it. 266 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,200 One, two... 267 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,500 What are you doing? 268 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,400 You know, I'm done with this, seriously. 269 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,700 Fine. Pick him up by yourself, if you're so sick about it. 270 00:32:06,900 --> 00:32:08,800 - You make me sick of it. - I'm done. 271 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,400 Help me! 272 00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:15,900 Is anybody there? 273 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:18,900 There we go, there we go. 274 00:32:19,300 --> 00:32:20,900 Squirt him! 275 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:26,100 Now get in there. Get in there while Greg's there. 276 00:32:32,700 --> 00:32:34,800 - My face in the pee? - Yeah, face in the pee. 277 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,500 Careful, guys. Oh, Party Boy. 278 00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:39,800 Oh, Party Boy. 279 00:32:40,700 --> 00:32:42,100 Move him all the way up. 280 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,100 - Hey, buddy. - I'm just loving this. 281 00:32:45,700 --> 00:32:46,900 Oh, the pee... 282 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,100 It's going way faster. 283 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:53,900 There you go, there. 284 00:32:54,100 --> 00:32:56,500 Oh, his head's all in the urine! 285 00:32:58,800 --> 00:32:59,800 Yeah! 286 00:33:00,300 --> 00:33:02,200 Oh, that was so perfect. 287 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,900 The dog peed right in there. That's perfect. 288 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,200 - Stop, please. Come on, don't do this. - Come on, dude. 289 00:33:08,300 --> 00:33:10,700 - Just give him a kiss. Give him a kiss. - Just one kiss. Come on. 290 00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:11,700 No! 291 00:33:11,900 --> 00:33:13,400 Come on, dude. 292 00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:19,900 Knock it off! 293 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,300 My tongue slayed his ear. 294 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,400 All right, let's do it. Let's do it! 295 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:32,000 Brace yourself. 296 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,000 Just stay loose. 297 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,100 - Hey, hey! Get out of here! - Whoa! 298 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:50,100 - Get rid of that dog. - Get him out of here. He's a maniac. 299 00:33:51,900 --> 00:33:54,900 Hi, we're snow tubing. It's awesome, huh? 300 00:34:28,100 --> 00:34:30,200 - Doggie style. - Make way. 301 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,600 - You fit in there? - I'm Ryan Dunn. 302 00:35:07,700 --> 00:35:11,500 This is a stupid idea, rolling down a hill. 303 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,200 Yes. Let him go. 304 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,800 See you later, buddy. Oh, my God! 305 00:35:18,900 --> 00:35:20,500 What was that? 306 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,100 - Are you all right? - I told you that was a bad idea. 307 00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:32,600 You all right? 308 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,300 I told you that was a bad idea. 309 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,200 - Oh, I can't even see. - You look like-- 310 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,100 I didn't even go far. 311 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,500 All right, this is called nutball. 312 00:36:27,700 --> 00:36:29,700 It's a game I used to play as a young child... 313 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:32,500 a young boy, frolicking with my friends. 314 00:36:32,700 --> 00:36:35,500 The object is to sit across the room from one another... 315 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:39,300 and loft this racquet ball in the air and whoever can't take getting hit... 316 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,500 in the bull's- eye anymore would be the loser... 317 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,400 and the other gentleman being the victor. 318 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,200 Okay, resume play. 319 00:37:06,700 --> 00:37:08,300 That was a bouncer. 320 00:37:08,500 --> 00:37:10,500 See, I don't have as much dong to protect me. 321 00:37:11,900 --> 00:37:13,300 I'm all balls. 322 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,600 He got the wiener. 323 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,000 I got a little... one down. 324 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:28,500 That's a bouncer, though. That resonates nicely. 325 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,100 I gotta knock out Johnny fast. 326 00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,900 I'm the veteran. I'm the crafty veteran. 327 00:37:50,700 --> 00:37:52,900 Hey, let me move over to this side. 328 00:38:00,700 --> 00:38:01,800 I lose. 329 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,400 Hey, nutball's cool with me, dude. 330 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,500 This is to see who has to play with Steve- O... 331 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:09,700 throwing the bone across the room... 332 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:12,500 which weighs, like, four or five pounds. 333 00:38:15,500 --> 00:38:17,300 - Draw another one. - Let's see what this next one is. 334 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,800 I have absolutely eliminated every last competitor... 335 00:38:26,900 --> 00:38:30,800 and now I'm drawing from the bowl to see, once the stakes are high... 336 00:38:30,900 --> 00:38:33,000 who gets annihilated by the bone. 337 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,100 That would be Ehren. 338 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:44,900 Steve- O's the winner. 339 00:38:48,900 --> 00:38:52,100 Hey, Chris, can you see the bug on my lens? 340 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,200 - Yeah. - Why don't you kiss him? 341 00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:56,600 - Eat him up? - Eat him. 342 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:57,900 I'm a vegetarian. 343 00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:01,900 - Did you eat him? - I swallowed him up. 344 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,500 He flew away. 345 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:26,200 It's so fun. It's way more fun than snowboarding. 346 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,200 Come on, Kosick, it's one of the last shows. Just shave your head. 347 00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:39,200 ...you, man. 348 00:39:39,300 --> 00:39:42,200 Dude, you look good bald already, you know that, so... 349 00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:43,800 - You think I should do this? - Do what? 350 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,600 - Shave my head. - Of course you should. 351 00:39:45,700 --> 00:39:47,200 Or, you know, you know what he does? 352 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:51,100 He gets bald and puts the... And he gets the thing bald. 353 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:52,900 And he gets a toupee and he bends over... 354 00:39:53,100 --> 00:39:54,800 and his toupee falls off in front of people. 355 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:56,500 There's the skit. 356 00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,300 - Let's shoot. - Okay. 357 00:39:59,100 --> 00:40:01,000 So, we need to start massaging the scalp. 358 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,600 Sorry. 359 00:40:12,700 --> 00:40:14,900 Hey, Rick, if you want to back out, that's fine. 360 00:40:25,100 --> 00:40:26,400 Does that hurt? 361 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:28,700 That's it. 362 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,600 We got to get Kosick a nice toupee. 363 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,500 - Is this right? - Perfect. 364 00:40:35,700 --> 00:40:37,900 - Doesn't feel like it fits. - It fits perfect. 365 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:39,300 Looks like Duran Duran. 366 00:40:45,700 --> 00:40:46,800 Excuse me. 367 00:41:27,100 --> 00:41:29,700 I'm Chef Dave and this is the omelette. 368 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:35,000 I want everyone not in a HAZMAT suit back against the wall... 369 00:41:35,700 --> 00:41:38,600 so Dave can make an omelette. 370 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,600 Let's start out with... How about the onion? 371 00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:43,300 Those are always good to start the day with. 372 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,800 'Cause there's a lot of vitamins in here, and of course... 373 00:41:45,900 --> 00:41:49,000 you don't need a knife the way we're going to cook this omelette today. 374 00:41:50,300 --> 00:41:54,500 All the vegetables were washed ahead of time to ensure cleanliness. 375 00:41:55,900 --> 00:41:58,800 A little bit of tomato. Always remove all stickers. 376 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:03,100 Mushrooms. 377 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,000 Can't go wrong with mushrooms. They go in any omelette. 378 00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:07,300 If you're going to use real sausage... 379 00:42:07,500 --> 00:42:10,500 you might want to go with blood- borne sausages. They're the best. 380 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:12,300 Get them while they're hot. 381 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,800 These are cold, fake sausages. 382 00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:21,000 Get a few different colours for variety. 383 00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:24,800 You want a rainbow in front of you when it comes time to eat. 384 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,700 Next up, we're going to need some butter in there. 385 00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:30,900 Lubricates the whole meal. 386 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:35,800 Not yet. 387 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:40,500 Milk adds to the fluffiness of the omelette. 388 00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,700 How much cheese you use matters how much you like cheese. 389 00:42:47,900 --> 00:42:49,700 How much do I like cheese? A lot. 390 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,400 Today we're going to make a three- egg omelette. 391 00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,000 Down the hatch. Bottoms up. 392 00:43:15,100 --> 00:43:17,200 Cooking is such a pleasure. 393 00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:33,700 You know what? That's not going to make much of an omelette, is it? 394 00:43:33,900 --> 00:43:35,500 I'm going to need an extra one. 395 00:43:58,100 --> 00:44:01,200 There we go. Get a good shot of that, man. 396 00:44:02,500 --> 00:44:03,600 Yeah. 397 00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,900 That's what I call a good- size omelette. 398 00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,900 Yes, coming along nicely. 399 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,800 Johnny, can you smell that at all through that suit there? 400 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,000 It's just completely enticing. 401 00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:21,400 Here, let me take the final temperature: 160. 402 00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:25,200 See how the milk is just bringing, it's just giving a fluffy quality to it? 403 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,900 All right, looks like we're about done. It ended up more of a scramble... 404 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,100 but that's okay. I like scrambles, too. Omelettes are my favourite, though. 405 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:33,500 I'm sorry there's not an extra plate... 406 00:44:33,700 --> 00:44:35,300 Johnny, I would have loved to offer you some. 407 00:44:35,500 --> 00:44:36,500 No. I'm good. 408 00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:39,200 Love to start my day with this. 409 00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:46,700 Would you like some? 410 00:44:49,300 --> 00:44:51,700 All right, that about wraps up our show this week. 411 00:44:52,100 --> 00:44:54,600 Next week, pizza. 412 00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:04,700 We're going to do bloody windshield today. 413 00:45:04,900 --> 00:45:06,700 And the windshield will need to be broken. 414 00:45:14,500 --> 00:45:16,100 That's bad. 415 00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,500 I gotta think that's good. 416 00:45:36,700 --> 00:45:38,400 Excuse me, can you help me clean this off? 417 00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,000 We don't car wash. 418 00:45:40,100 --> 00:45:42,100 Oh, dude, there's a cop. One second. 419 00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:46,800 Oh, man, my parole officer is not going to like this. 420 00:45:46,900 --> 00:45:48,000 Oh, God! 421 00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:56,600 It's a dog? 422 00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,800 Yes, yeah. Dog. 423 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:03,100 My stomach is... up. Please. 424 00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,700 Hey, thanks a lot, man. You really helped me out. 425 00:46:26,900 --> 00:46:28,700 I just hit something. Can you give me a hand wash? 426 00:46:28,900 --> 00:46:29,800 Sure. 427 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,000 I need it quick. 428 00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,300 It's very suspicious that you guys are going to let him... 429 00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:35,100 go through your car wash like that. 430 00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,000 Let's go, andale, andale. 431 00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:47,600 Let's go. I gotta go. 432 00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:12,800 You gotta help me, man. 433 00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,300 I just need some water to get this off with. 434 00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,100 I had an accident. 435 00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:20,500 That's... I don't know. 436 00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:24,600 - Is this from you? - No. 437 00:47:36,900 --> 00:47:38,000 Sir? 438 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,300 Dude, they're calling the cops. 439 00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:54,500 Ever since puberty, I've dreamed of posing for Playgirl magazine. 440 00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:59,800 Today we're taking my vanity shots, and hopefully I will be accepted. 441 00:48:01,100 --> 00:48:04,900 I'm not gay. I mean some guys think that just because you're lubing a guy down... 442 00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:08,800 with lotion that you're gay, but, I mean, it's enhancing his look. 443 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,900 - It makes him look better. - Let's get this going. 444 00:48:12,100 --> 00:48:13,800 Lay out on the chair like... 445 00:48:13,900 --> 00:48:17,400 - you're getting a suntan. - Yeah, that's good, that's good. 446 00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:20,400 - Tell him what you want to see-- - I don't know what to do, man. 447 00:48:20,500 --> 00:48:25,200 - I've never photographed a man naked. - I mean, you've seen girls naked, right? 448 00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,000 This is so gross. 449 00:48:27,300 --> 00:48:29,200 Can we get one with the finger in the mouth? 450 00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:36,000 No, that's good. Go with it, shoot the pictures. 451 00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:37,100 I'm trying. 452 00:48:40,700 --> 00:48:43,900 Soles of your feet together and your arms over your head. 453 00:48:49,300 --> 00:48:51,500 We can... 454 00:48:53,300 --> 00:48:54,300 Sorry. 455 00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:58,600 - I want one like this. - Oh, that's perfect! 456 00:48:59,000 --> 00:48:59,900 Make- up. 457 00:49:00,300 --> 00:49:03,300 This is the sort of thing that you don't want in a photo shoot. 458 00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:06,300 Like these blemishes, like, I mean, most of this can be taken care of... 459 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:10,200 in Photoshop. But this one is good to just bring it down a little bit. 460 00:49:11,700 --> 00:49:16,300 A lot of the times you get frustrated with these long make- up jobs. 461 00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:27,500 I think the photographer- subject relationship is a little tense right now. 462 00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,200 Why are you shooting this way? 463 00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:30,800 You really got to get in there and work it. 464 00:49:30,900 --> 00:49:31,900 Shut up! 465 00:49:32,300 --> 00:49:34,900 - Hold your finger up like it's a gun. - Full male nudity! 466 00:49:42,300 --> 00:49:45,900 Wrap your legs all the way over and then put your arm behind your head. 467 00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,300 Do we want to get some bunny ears? 468 00:49:50,500 --> 00:49:53,700 I'm lucky to have such a strong staff behind me... 469 00:49:53,900 --> 00:49:55,900 contributing different ideas for the shot. 470 00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:57,800 Get on your knees, Chris. 471 00:49:57,900 --> 00:50:00,100 Just make love to the camera. 472 00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:05,300 Oh, Rick, you gotta get in there. Oh, the tree fell down. 473 00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,700 - I'm in there, shut up! - I'm staying right here. 474 00:50:08,100 --> 00:50:09,500 Rick, come on. 475 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,000 The thing is... Sorry, dude. There we go. 476 00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:17,500 It's okay. It's okay, dudes. We're shooting for Playgirl. 477 00:50:29,700 --> 00:50:31,400 All right, bye. 478 00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:36,600 Well, I just got off the phone with Playgirl magazine... 479 00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:39,800 and, apparently, I'm not what they're looking for. 480 00:50:46,100 --> 00:50:48,800 In my left hand I have some pudding, in my right hand I have a diaper. 481 00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:50,600 When combined... 482 00:50:52,900 --> 00:50:54,700 I have poo diaper. 483 00:50:56,700 --> 00:50:59,800 Hey, you guys got anything to eat leftover from lunch? 484 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,000 I didn't even get lunch today. 485 00:51:09,500 --> 00:51:10,900 I'm hungry. 486 00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,000 That's a diaper. 487 00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:50,200 So hungry. 488 00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:05,400 That's a diaper, homeboy. 489 00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:09,500 So hungry. 490 00:52:21,700 --> 00:52:23,700 - What are you doing? - Riding bikes. 491 00:52:36,900 --> 00:52:38,300 Got the condiments. 492 00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:55,700 Oh, you sick... 493 00:52:57,300 --> 00:53:00,500 Mustard. Mike! Help me! 494 00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:05,600 We're back here in Nipomo, California at the Gary Leffew Bull Riding School... 495 00:53:05,700 --> 00:53:07,900 for the backwards bullride. 496 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,300 ...riding this one backwards. 497 00:53:20,300 --> 00:53:22,700 Go on, shorty, go on. Go on! 498 00:53:23,700 --> 00:53:25,300 Come on, shorty, come on. 499 00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:32,000 - It's easy as... - Ready? 500 00:53:32,100 --> 00:53:33,100 I don't know... 501 00:53:34,300 --> 00:53:36,000 Do you wanna do this? 502 00:53:36,100 --> 00:53:38,100 He didn't seem to like that too much. 503 00:53:38,300 --> 00:53:40,300 It's easier than hell to ride him. 504 00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,700 - Is it going to be that bull? - Yeah, same bull, yeah. 505 00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:48,700 - Not all at once. - I hope they pay you a lot to do this... 506 00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,100 That looked cool. You can't tell me that didn't look cool. 507 00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:56,600 No, it looked good. 508 00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:00,200 - How far down on the side there? - Quite a ways, yeah, quite a ways. 509 00:54:00,700 --> 00:54:03,700 - Little bit more. - Okay, when do I go down? 510 00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:05,200 - Just sit in, just sit down. - Like that? 511 00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:07,200 Yeah. Just drop down a little bit at a time. 512 00:54:07,300 --> 00:54:09,900 - We got you. - Put you hands through the rope first. 513 00:54:10,900 --> 00:54:12,400 Drop your feet down so he doesn't push you off. 514 00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:14,300 - Drop your feet. - Drop my feet? 515 00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:16,500 - Straight beside his neck. - Get a rope through, John. 516 00:54:16,700 --> 00:54:18,600 Both your feet down and get your foot out of the gate. 517 00:54:18,700 --> 00:54:20,300 - Put it right down in there with him. - Okay. 518 00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:22,500 - Get ready, buddy. - Now, all you gotta do is sit back. 519 00:54:22,700 --> 00:54:23,600 Okay, wait. 520 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:26,000 - Ready? - Wait, wait, wait, I'm not ready. 521 00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,000 - Ready? - Wait, get your feet down. 522 00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:30,000 - Okay. - Drop them all the way down. 523 00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:33,800 - Let's go. - Hook him, hook him, hook him. 524 00:54:44,100 --> 00:54:46,600 - Hey, that wasn't eight seconds. - Do it again. 525 00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:48,800 I gotta see the replay on that, that was cool. 526 00:54:48,900 --> 00:54:51,600 - You rode him perfect. - Yeah, let's see. 527 00:54:53,100 --> 00:54:56,600 My goods are just bouncing up and down on his back. 528 00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:00,800 - You look good. Yeah, I gotta see this. - Oh, my goodness. 529 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:04,500 So what's in the canister we're using today? 530 00:55:05,700 --> 00:55:08,300 Well, what we're using is liquid argon. It's a inert gas. 531 00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:11,600 Not hazardous to people, but will displace oxygen in the air. 532 00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:13,900 If it displaces oxygen... 533 00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,800 are we in any danger inside the car with it in here? 534 00:55:16,900 --> 00:55:19,600 Well, since you numbnuts closed all the windows, then... 535 00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:21,100 yes, we are in imminent danger. 536 00:55:22,700 --> 00:55:24,100 - Hi, I'm Rake Yohn. - I'm Johnny Knoxville. 537 00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:26,300 And this is a chemical spill. 538 00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:29,100 Excuse me, sir. Can you please stand back? 539 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,800 We got about... 540 00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:36,500 Be cool, we gotta drop it off at the fourth house. 541 00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:38,600 Don't... 542 00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:49,300 Yeah, we got a problem here. We're gonna need a clean- up team right away. 543 00:56:26,100 --> 00:56:28,100 We're at a junkyard in downtown LA... 544 00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:32,100 where today that big magnet is gonna pick me up... 545 00:56:32,300 --> 00:56:34,100 in this suit of armour. 546 00:56:36,500 --> 00:56:37,700 Maybe. 547 00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,600 Stop! Stop! Stop! 548 00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:30,600 Nothing went right on this one. This was like the metallic bread suit. 549 00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:33,300 So, we're back in another scrap metal yard. 550 00:57:33,500 --> 00:57:36,200 And we constructed a new magnet suit. 551 00:57:36,300 --> 00:57:39,100 And Mr. England here is going to try it out. 552 00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:30,800 I'm Steve- O. I'm gonna go secure the streets of Albuquerque, New Mexico. 553 00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:35,400 Everything okay here, sir? 554 00:58:36,900 --> 00:58:39,500 This isn't really the place to stand, right here. 555 00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:42,700 Right. Can I get you to move it over a little bit? 556 00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:43,900 - Sure. - All right. 557 00:58:45,500 --> 00:58:50,300 - I've never been told anything before... - Don't worry, you're not in trouble yet. 558 00:58:50,700 --> 00:58:52,700 Just want to move you over a little bit. 559 00:58:53,500 --> 00:58:54,500 - How you doing there? - How you doing? 560 00:58:54,700 --> 00:58:56,000 - Alan. Right on. - Are you... 561 00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:58,400 Hey, no. I'm Final Frontier. 562 00:58:58,500 --> 00:59:00,100 What's with Powell? Is that Powell? 563 00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:01,700 No, Polowski. 564 00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:03,700 - What's your first name? - Sergio. 565 00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:05,600 Sergio, okay. Okay. 566 00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:08,100 I'm pretty sure that I'm here to relieve you. 567 00:59:08,200 --> 00:59:09,400 See, he ain't supposed to be here. 568 00:59:09,500 --> 00:59:10,900 Man, you're not supposed to be here till 5:00. 569 00:59:11,300 --> 00:59:13,900 I'm not supposed to be... This guy's not supposed to be here. 570 00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:15,600 - Who ain't supposed to be here? - God. 571 00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:17,700 - What's your name there? - Johnny. 572 00:59:17,900 --> 00:59:20,300 Johnny? Right on. I'm Sergio. 573 00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:23,500 I'm supposed to ride around with you and you're gonna train me for a while. 574 00:59:23,700 --> 00:59:26,900 So, I don't know, if you wanna just do a couple of laps. 575 00:59:27,100 --> 00:59:28,800 So they told you I was going to train you? 576 00:59:28,900 --> 00:59:29,900 Yeah. 577 00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,000 - This is my first day. - First day? 578 00:59:33,100 --> 00:59:35,700 They've already got you training on your first day? God! 579 00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:37,900 - Good Lord. - Yeah. 580 00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,600 Here, why don't we get me in there driving now. 581 00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:44,700 Yeah, I just want to learn as much as I can. 582 00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:46,800 All right, let's rock and roll. 583 00:59:55,100 --> 00:59:58,000 - How's it to handle these speed bumps? - It doesn't handle the bumps... 584 00:59:58,500 --> 01:00:00,500 - very well. - Oh, man. 585 01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:02,700 You got to be real careful with this thing, okay? 586 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:05,500 Oh, yeah. No, I don't want to get us in trouble. 587 01:00:06,100 --> 01:00:07,900 - Don't go on the sidewalks. - Okay. 588 01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:11,200 Johnny, I'm all done, man, for the day. Thanks a lot, man. I appreciate it, dude. 589 01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:13,600 - No problem at all. - Well, I'll be seeing you tomorrow. 590 01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:14,900 - Okay. - Cool. 591 01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:18,800 That was awesome, dude. 592 01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:36,000 This is Steve- O and this is Dave England... 593 01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:38,600 and this is ice block skating. 594 01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,100 You know who's the best at this? 595 01:01:43,900 --> 01:01:45,300 - I am. - Hey, try it again. 596 01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:50,000 Don't touch him, step on him. 597 01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:17,400 Phil gets off work in 15 minutes... 598 01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:20,400 and I have 20 paint balls up in this bitch. 599 01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:22,100 And he's gonna... die. 600 01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:28,200 Oh, my God! 601 01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:29,800 That... hurt. 602 01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,400 Phil, I'm going to take it out on you now. 603 01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:59,300 I just got a shot in the foot. 604 01:04:00,700 --> 01:04:03,300 Phil, I got shot in the foot. 605 01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:05,700 I was just testing it out. It felt like this. 606 01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,700 Today, Jack Polick and I are doing the bloody carpet. 607 01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:12,700 We have a bloody mess here... 608 01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:15,500 and we're having a carpet cleaner come over... 609 01:04:15,700 --> 01:04:17,900 and see if he'll clean it up for us. 610 01:04:18,100 --> 01:04:19,000 Yeah, come on in. 611 01:04:19,700 --> 01:04:24,400 We got this big spot over here. I don't know if it's gonna come out or what. 612 01:04:24,600 --> 01:04:25,600 What is it? 613 01:04:26,100 --> 01:04:29,100 My roommate Steve. His dog, I think, is in heat or something. 614 01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:36,700 You'll be able to get it out, won't you? 615 01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:39,600 We can try it, we can try our best. 616 01:04:39,700 --> 01:04:44,100 Honestly, before I even do anything, we really have to make a note, because... 617 01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:47,500 I'm going to have the hand... 618 01:04:47,900 --> 01:04:49,900 It looks more real from this side. 619 01:04:51,100 --> 01:04:52,000 Hi. 620 01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:56,000 ...is it? 621 01:04:56,800 --> 01:04:59,500 - Jack, can I talk to you downstairs? - Yeah. 622 01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:00,600 Excuse us. 623 01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:15,700 You know, it's funny. Couple of days... 624 01:05:16,300 --> 01:05:19,300 Couple of days ago, I was watching Discovery Channel... 625 01:05:21,100 --> 01:05:22,700 and you know this guy... 626 01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:26,300 that killed a lot of people and put them in the fridge. 627 01:05:26,400 --> 01:05:29,100 Sorry, I'm not telling this happened here, but I'm just telling... 628 01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:30,900 - Yeah. - ...dude. 629 01:05:31,400 --> 01:05:34,400 - Please, I'm taking care of it. - You do not want it here. 630 01:05:38,700 --> 01:05:41,400 I got pepper spray, I got pepper spray here! I got pepper spray. 631 01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:43,900 You did it. 632 01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:47,500 It's okay. He's all right, he's all right. Just go upstairs. 633 01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:49,800 Let's just... 634 01:05:50,100 --> 01:05:51,500 Just get up there. 635 01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:55,300 You know, I've got to call my boss, man. You know, this situation here... 636 01:05:55,400 --> 01:05:58,000 I know, it's all right. Let's just get this done. 637 01:05:58,100 --> 01:05:59,100 He'll stay out there. 638 01:05:59,200 --> 01:06:00,900 What do you mean when you say, "You did it"? 639 01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:02,400 - What was that? - What? 640 01:06:02,500 --> 01:06:06,700 - What you mean when you say-- - I mean, his dog, or... You know. 641 01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:08,500 It's his dog. 642 01:06:08,900 --> 01:06:11,000 - Jack, what's going on? - What? 643 01:06:11,100 --> 01:06:13,800 - What's going on, Jack? - Nothing, it's all right. 644 01:06:14,800 --> 01:06:17,500 - Do you see that... cleaning guy? - What? Yeah. 645 01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:19,500 Quiet, will you? 646 01:06:22,300 --> 01:06:24,200 - You're not taking care of... - ...taking care of it. 647 01:06:24,300 --> 01:06:26,200 - You're not taking care of... - Shut up. 648 01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:28,400 I don't care whose mess it is, get him out. 649 01:06:28,500 --> 01:06:29,700 Or you're next. 650 01:06:30,600 --> 01:06:31,600 - Yeah. - Okay. 651 01:06:31,800 --> 01:06:35,000 I need to call my boss. This situation, I need to report it back-- 652 01:06:35,100 --> 01:06:38,300 - No, no, no, it's okay, man. - Let him go, Jack. 653 01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:40,600 - Just let him... business. - One sec, we're-- 654 01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:42,700 - He'll keep it to himself. - Here, I'll help you out. 655 01:06:44,100 --> 01:06:45,800 Hey, listen, turkey, this isn't... 656 01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:48,300 - It's okay. - I'm going to leave a voice mail to you-- 657 01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:50,400 It's all right. It's okay. 658 01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:52,700 You don't... No, you don't have to call in. 659 01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:56,300 What the... Come on, why is he still here? 660 01:06:58,800 --> 01:06:59,700 Dude, what did I just say? 661 01:07:01,900 --> 01:07:03,300 I think it's best if you just go. 662 01:07:04,500 --> 01:07:05,800 Just go ahead. 663 01:07:06,100 --> 01:07:07,300 Get out. Get out, man. 664 01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:09,500 - Just go. - Where's the money? 665 01:07:10,200 --> 01:07:13,000 I'll pay you right now. How much is it? 666 01:07:14,300 --> 01:07:17,000 If you know what's good for you, you'll keep this to yourself. 667 01:07:41,700 --> 01:07:45,100 Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is Dotty Barnett. 668 01:07:45,300 --> 01:07:48,400 And today I am 90 years old. 669 01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:53,500 Look at her tush, mama. 670 01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:57,100 - No, don't you talk like that. - You've got a lovely tush, ma'am. 671 01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:58,200 - Thank you. - That's not nice. 672 01:07:58,300 --> 01:07:59,300 You're welcome. 673 01:07:59,400 --> 01:08:01,400 Say, I love... Can I, do you mind? 674 01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:04,600 - What's that? - I just want a couple of French fries. 675 01:08:04,700 --> 01:08:06,900 - What are you... Don't do that, Irving. - I want it. 676 01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:08,500 - That's not right. - Oy vey. 677 01:08:08,700 --> 01:08:10,900 - Go find a place to sit down. - Oy vey. 678 01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:13,400 That's embarrassing. 679 01:08:20,100 --> 01:08:21,100 - You all right? - Yeah. 680 01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:22,100 Okay, Irving. 681 01:08:28,100 --> 01:08:29,100 - I'm all right. - Okay. 682 01:08:29,300 --> 01:08:30,300 - I'm all right. - All right? 683 01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:33,700 - You don't want an ambulance? - No, no ambulance. Leave me alone. 684 01:08:34,200 --> 01:08:35,700 I just want some soup. 685 01:08:41,800 --> 01:08:46,500 Hi, I'm looking for some sunglasses. Something very contemporary. 686 01:08:46,600 --> 01:08:49,100 - And handsome. - Handsome and contemporary. 687 01:08:49,300 --> 01:08:51,600 - And snazzy. - Snazzy? 688 01:08:51,800 --> 01:08:52,700 Yeah. 689 01:08:53,900 --> 01:08:57,400 Are they good in... Can I look at them in the sunlight? 690 01:08:57,500 --> 01:08:58,500 Sure. 691 01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:01,600 Has that sign always been there? The... 692 01:09:04,100 --> 01:09:05,100 What sign? 693 01:09:08,700 --> 01:09:11,800 - Can I get the sunglasses back, sir? - Oh, yeah, I forgot. 694 01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:14,900 Look how pretty she is, Dorothy. 695 01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:17,200 Look how nice her breasts are. 696 01:09:17,400 --> 01:09:19,700 You know, you got to be a dirty old man. 697 01:09:20,300 --> 01:09:22,300 - He's getting worse all the time. - Dorothy. 698 01:09:22,800 --> 01:09:24,100 Look at that butt. 699 01:09:26,100 --> 01:09:28,200 Nice tush. 700 01:09:30,900 --> 01:09:32,500 Hey, there. How are you? 701 01:09:33,100 --> 01:09:35,800 Could I offer you some weed or pot? Marijuana? 702 01:09:40,400 --> 01:09:42,800 Here comes that son of a bitch Renaldo. 703 01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,300 Where were you when I called you the other night? 704 01:09:46,400 --> 01:09:49,500 - I don't want to talk to you. - I called you, you old putz. 705 01:09:49,700 --> 01:09:50,700 Oh, no, no, no. 706 01:09:51,400 --> 01:09:53,100 Oh, you little son of a... 707 01:10:01,200 --> 01:10:02,200 Thank you. 708 01:10:08,600 --> 01:10:09,700 He started it. 709 01:10:11,100 --> 01:10:12,500 - Enough. - He's a bad person. 710 01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:14,000 I know, it's enough. 711 01:10:14,200 --> 01:10:17,300 - He's not a good person. - Never call me again. 712 01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:20,900 I want my $200. 713 01:10:29,100 --> 01:10:30,300 Oh, my God. 714 01:10:31,100 --> 01:10:33,300 What did you have for dinner, ma'am? 715 01:10:46,800 --> 01:10:48,100 I'm Raab Himself. 716 01:10:48,500 --> 01:10:50,000 This is duck hunting. 717 01:11:01,800 --> 01:11:03,200 He's dead! He's dead! 718 01:11:08,100 --> 01:11:09,700 We killed Quack- Quack. 719 01:11:22,100 --> 01:11:23,500 It went up his butt. 720 01:11:24,700 --> 01:11:26,200 - Oh, my God! - Let me see, let me see. 721 01:11:26,300 --> 01:11:28,500 - It's right in the middle of the ass. - Oh, my God. 722 01:11:30,900 --> 01:11:32,300 Where do you get the balls? 723 01:11:35,200 --> 01:11:36,300 Yeah... 724 01:11:40,300 --> 01:11:41,300 Damn it! 725 01:11:45,900 --> 01:11:46,900 Thank you. 726 01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:50,600 I want to go right over here. 727 01:12:00,800 --> 01:12:01,800 Damn it. 728 01:12:05,100 --> 01:12:06,900 No, you stay there. I got it. 729 01:12:10,200 --> 01:12:12,100 Thank you. Thank you. 730 01:12:19,200 --> 01:12:20,100 Dorothy. 731 01:12:21,200 --> 01:12:22,900 - Are you okay? - Dorothy, stand me up. 732 01:12:23,100 --> 01:12:25,800 - You want me to get an ambulance? - No. No ambulance. 733 01:12:26,500 --> 01:12:27,900 You want me to get you something to drink? 734 01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:28,900 No. 735 01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:38,300 - I'm calling you an ambulance. - No, I need some shade. 736 01:12:39,400 --> 01:12:41,400 - You sure, you-- - Just stand me up. 737 01:12:42,400 --> 01:12:45,100 - You're sure you're gonna be okay? - Oh, I'm good. 738 01:12:48,400 --> 01:12:49,300 Oh, man! 739 01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:53,900 I'm Steve- O, and this is the double back. 740 01:13:00,300 --> 01:13:02,500 - I love you. - Yes, I love you. 741 01:13:17,900 --> 01:13:18,900 I love you. 742 01:13:20,000 --> 01:13:22,800 So, here we are today, on location... 743 01:13:22,900 --> 01:13:25,600 filming Shaquille O'Neal's new rap video. 744 01:13:26,300 --> 01:13:27,500 - This is... - Wee Man. 745 01:13:28,100 --> 01:13:29,700 God, that's the gayest way to introduce people. 746 01:13:29,900 --> 01:13:31,400 All right. You say it all. 747 01:13:44,600 --> 01:13:46,500 The things the Jackass guys do, I do every day. 748 01:13:46,700 --> 01:13:49,400 You can see I'm out here wrestling with them, I haven't been hurt yet. 749 01:13:49,500 --> 01:13:51,600 I am the man of steel. You see this? 750 01:13:55,500 --> 01:13:58,300 - What was that? That was piss? - He pissed in that. 751 01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:01,000 Shaq loves Wee Man. 752 01:14:12,100 --> 01:14:14,700 I carry all the weight around this show. 753 01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:27,600 The highlights so far have been some poo- diving in the kiddie pool... 754 01:14:38,300 --> 01:14:40,200 a lot of Shaq humping Wee Man. 755 01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:50,900 He deserved it though, he's been trying to hump me and wrestle me all day. 756 01:14:51,700 --> 01:14:53,100 These guys are crazy. 757 01:15:09,200 --> 01:15:11,200 Little kids, do not try this at home.