1
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:56,916
Market reports today...

2
00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:01,484
barrows and gilts at 220 to 260 pounds
are lower at $40.

3
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:05,157
Sows are steady.
300 to 500 pounds, $34 to $37.

4
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:09,225
Goin' over to the feeder cattle,
beef steers, $120 to $150...

5
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,060
The way I like to do it...

6
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:15,199
is I take one can
of cream of mushroom soup...

7
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,175
and then one package of egg noodles.

8
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:20,304
I like the egg noodles
better than the Italian ones.

9
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:21,506
I like to put...

10
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,885
<i>If we look at what the Lord said
in the book of Revelation...</i>

11
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:31,152
you can be sure
that there's a price to pay...

12
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:35,821
for the way of the flesh
and that price will be paid if you don't...

13
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:40,526
Here's the wind-up and the pitch.

14
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,728
And it's two and two, two and two...

15
00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:53,312
Before you just say,
"Honey, I think we have to have...

16
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:55,746
"some couple's counseling.
I mean, I think we have a problem.

17
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:56,805
"I can't leave a cup here for..."

18
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,318
All right. It's time for traffic on the fives...

19
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,954
and let's find out
what's going on with your drive.

20
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,828
Let's go to Chopper.
Chopper, what's happening?

21
00:02:12,899 --> 00:02:15,527
All right, Lettie.
We got a fifteen-minute, uh, wait... 494.

22
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,797
There's an accident working
at the spaghetti junction.

23
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,203
At 630, but it still
will make a very slow go...

24
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:44,988
A quiet night in a city that knows
how to keep its secrets.

25
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:49,934
But one man is still looking for
the answers to life's persistent questions.

26
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,436
That's me.

27
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,569
Or it used to be.

28
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It was a rainy Saturday night in St. Paul...

29
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,676
and I had just finished off
a grilled cheese sandwich...

30
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,115
with beans for a chaser...

31
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,847
and it was time to head
for work across the street.

32
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,895
I'm a private eye.

33
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:22,457
Noir's the name.

34
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,060
Guy Noir.

35
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:28,164
But I'd taken temporary employment
about six years before...

36
00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:33,440
<i>doing security for a radio show
called A Prairie Home Companion...</i>

37
00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:36,505
on account of a serious
cash-flow problem...

38
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:41,145
due to a lack of missing heiresses
and dead tycoons lying in the solarium...

39
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,918
with lipstick stains
on their smoking jackets.

40
00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:48,222
In other words, I was broke.

41
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:52,197
This radio show was done
out of an old theater called the Fitzgerald...

42
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:55,530
and it had been on the air
since Jesus was in the third grade.

43
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:59,595
But it was still pulling in
a few hundred people on Saturday nights.

44
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:04,633
It was a live radio variety show,
the kind that died fifty years ago...

45
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:09,876
but somebody forgot to tell them
until this night.

46
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:13,750
A big corporation down in Texas
had bought up the radio station...

47
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,482
and their axeman,
a guy named Cruett...

48
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:19,150
was on his way to St. Paul
to shut the thing down...

49
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:21,717
and turn the theater
into a parking lot.

50
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:28,962
It was curtains and everybody knew it,
but nobody said so.

51
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,969
They were Midwesterners.

52
00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:35,337
They felt like if you ignored bad news,
it might go away.

53
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:39,004
Not my philosophy,
but I'm not from here.

54
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,671
Stay on the edge of the crowd.

55
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:41,736
Keep your eyes open.

56
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,942
That's my motto.

57
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:47,214
It was my last night
of gainful employment...

58
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,586
and I had a feeling
it was maybe going to be interesting.

59
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:58,462
I used to work in Chicago

60
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:01,865
At a convenience store

61
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:05,098
I used to work in Chicago

62
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:06,230
I did, but I don't anymore

63
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,332
Ladies and gentlemen, we are now
at ten minutes from broadcast, please.

64
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:10,535
Ten minutes.

65
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,475
A lady walked in
with some porcelain skin

66
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:16,676
And I asked her what she came in for

67
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:19,878
"Liquor," she said, and lick her I did

68
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:23,650
And I don't work there anymore

69
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,884
Molly.

70
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,324
What... OK, OK.

71
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:28,827
Jesus, the schedule.

72
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,658
Uh...

73
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,288
Where's my pencil?
I gotta show you some changes.

74
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:33,354
Where's my pencil?

75
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:34,491
I just put it down here a second ago.

76
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:35,796
Where'd you put it last?

77
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:36,995
I just had it here a second ago.

78
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,264
Oh, it's... it's...

79
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,430
Don't mess with those.

80
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,440
Hey, hey, hey.
Please, move that back.

81
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,271
This one will make the...

82
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,141
This will make the wife
green-eyed with envy.

83
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,771
Ooh!

84
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:48,815
One more.

85
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,816
Do you think
she's coming by the studio?

86
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,511
Cuddle up a little bit.
There you go.

87
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,382
Hey, Guy.
How are you tonight?

88
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:57,821
I need a little help from you.

89
00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,121
Take these Johnson Girl t-shirts.
Have someone take 'em up front.

90
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,821
- I'll take care of it.
- Nice tie.

91
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,261
Well, it's about damn time.

92
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,730
The very tardy Johnson Girls.

93
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:06,766
Hey, Al.

94
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:07,959
Givin' me a heart attack here.

95
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,628
What is this? Rewrites?

96
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,569
What's wrong with the old script?

97
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:13,606
How does that feel?

98
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,368
Give me a little sound effects on that one.

99
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:18,275
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are now at six minutes to broadcast.

100
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:19,972
Six minutes from broadcast, please.

101
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,172
That's the... that's the...

102
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,045
Hey, Rich, that's that Honolulu mama...

103
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,084
how she could dance
in her pink pajamas...

104
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:27,278
when she took off
her Oahu Oahu Oahu.

105
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:29,754
No, it's an old
Carter family song, right?

106
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:30,790
A what?

107
00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:33,121
Carter family, sweetheart.

108
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,423
Just like us, only famous.

109
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,560
Now, how long you been doin' this?

110
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,099
Doin' what?
Puttin' my pants on?

111
00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:41,793
How long you been doin' radio?

112
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,631
Oh.

113
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:46,228
I don't know.
Thirty-some years, I guess.

114
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:49,400
Started out in Mark Twain Days,
Mississippi River...

115
00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:51,842
and they hired me to play Huck Finn.

116
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,712
I was running a raft
on the Mississippi...

117
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:58,876
and carrying people across, and, uh...

118
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,443
it ran into the wake of a steamboat.

119
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,614
Mr. Keillor?
We need you on stage.

120
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:04,657
Fine. I'm right there.

121
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:07,557
Is this the story about the guy
who ends up hangin' from a kite...

122
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,959
bein' pulled by a boat
with his shorts around his ankles?

123
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,624
No. No, it's a different story
about a pontoon boat.

124
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:15,190
Oh! Look at this old house.

125
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,895
Good-bye, old house.

126
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:18,164
Good-bye, old porch.

127
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,830
Good-bye, old Guy.

128
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:24,707
Hey, Guy. What are they gonna do
with this house, you think? Huh?

129
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,042
I figure it had somethin' to do...

130
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:30,310
with the dumpster
that showed up yesterday.

131
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,816
Oh, my God.
Honey, listen.

132
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,944
I brought you that cute little dress...

133
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,147
I already told you,
I don't like the dress.

134
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:37,189
At least try it on.

135
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:38,281
I want to see it on you.

136
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:39,518
You try it on.
I don't want to try it on.

137
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:40,582
It's ugly.

138
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:41,786
It's the color of vomit.

139
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:46,996
Oh, sorry.

140
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:54,462
Old man Soderberg was
one of those people who was on that raft...

141
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:58,637
and, uh, he went over the rail
and into the river...

142
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:01,545
and I went in for him
'cause he couldn't swim.

143
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:04,641
So, I pulled him out.

144
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:05,878
You saved his life?

145
00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:08,284
Well, not really.
The river was shallow at that point...

146
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,823
but he didn't know that
'cause I had hold of his ankles.

147
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:12,517
I was towing him into shore.

148
00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:13,752
Hey! It's good to see ya!

149
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,818
Four minutes from broadcast, please.

150
00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:17,260
Four minutes.

151
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,299
Ooh! Hey.

152
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,459
Hey.

153
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:23,001
Wait a minute.
Where's my bag?

154
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,229
No, no. The bag's here.

155
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:25,532
I brought it in.

156
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:27,197
Mom, just look.

157
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:28,865
Here it is.
Come on, Yolanda.

158
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:32,469
<i>I swear to God I'm all,
you know, verklempt.</i>

159
00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:34,410
Ha ha ha ha!

160
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:35,573
Ohh.

161
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:36,741
Hot.

162
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:39,876
Yeah. See? Plenty of time.

163
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,887
So he gave you the job at WLT.

164
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,047
Well, his brother did, actually.

165
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,215
Yeah, Art Soderberg.

166
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:45,382
G.K. To the stage, please.

167
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,426
Art Soderberg gave you the job.

168
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:48,586
Yeah, it was a...

169
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:49,788
It was
the early morning show, right?

170
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,354
<i>Rise and Shine Show.
Wilmer Scott, 5 A.M.</i>

171
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:53,694
Me and Dusty used to have
an early mornin' show.

172
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,098
Is that right?
Excuse me, partner.

173
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,294
<i>Oh, yeah.
Breakfast at the Bunkhouse.</i>

174
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,769
TV show.
And, uh, it showed mostly...

175
00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:00,430
cartoons and stuff.
Remember that?

176
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:02,134
- Oh, yeah?
- For the kids.

177
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:05,541
Well, this was... uh, this came on
at 5:00 in the morning.

178
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:06,579
And it was... uh, like a gospel show.

179
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:08,546
- Inspirational show.
- Inspirational show.

180
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:09,877
Wilmer Scott was the host of it.

181
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:12,440
Wasn't Wilmer Scott the famous aviator?

182
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:13,713
No.

183
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:17,223
Yeah. First man to fly the length
of the Mississippi solo.

184
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,518
- No.
- I don't think so.

185
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:19,683
Right.

186
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,124
That was his brother Wilbur Scott.

187
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,320
We're now at three minutes...

188
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,727
Flew from New Orleans to Memphis...

189
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:27,426
all the way up to Minnesota
to Lake Itasca.

190
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,592
And when he got up there,
he tried to fire a signal rocket...

191
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,499
out the cockpit window,
but it was closed.

192
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,631
He became the first civilian pilot
to shoot himself down.

193
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:35,800
- Ugh!
- No. That was Wilbur.

194
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:36,967
- You made that story up.
- Right.

195
00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:38,135
No, I'm talking
about Wilmer Scott.

196
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,611
Crashed into the lake
at his moment of triumph.

197
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:41,669
- No.
- Wilmer.

198
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,512
- Wilmer. Yeah. He was the host...
- No. This was the...

199
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,176
<i>- Right.
- The Rise and Shine Show.</i>

200
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,549
<i>Rise and Shine.</i>

201
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,555
Mr. Keillor, Al's on the verge
of a coronary up there.

202
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:51,715
Yeah. I'm there.

203
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:52,883
Now, how did he have time
to fly and do radio?

204
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:54,051
G.K., sit down.
I gotta do your makeup.

205
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,459
You're thinking of Wilbur Scott, see?

206
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:57,518
Yeah. It's not the same person.
Not the same person.

207
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,723
- Yeah...
- He was dead.

208
00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:00,959
You know, we used
to have a dog in the act...

209
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,025
when Wanda and Connie were in it...

210
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,230
- and that dog would sing...
- Ooo!

211
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,499
- Ha ha!
- Ha ha ha ha!

212
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:09,508
We'd sing this old song
and he would howl! Ha ha ha!

213
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,339
Oh, my God, that was a dog.

214
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,345
- I been thinkin' about him all day long.
- Yeah.

215
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:14,937
Rusty always comes to my mind.

216
00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:16,106
Does it?

217
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,844
Go tell Aunt Gladys

218
00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:21,785
- Go tell Aunt Gladys
- That's it!

219
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:22,879
Go tell Aunt Gladys

220
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,981
The old brown dog is dead

221
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,117
An old brown dog named Rusty

222
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,457
An old brown dog named Rusty

223
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,622
An old brown dog named Rusty

224
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:33,893
He just laid down and died

225
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,229
- Ruff! Ruff!
- Right on cue.

226
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:36,563
- It was... I mean...
- Bow wow wow!

227
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,297
- Ow, ow, ow!
- Bark bark bark!

228
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:39,531
- Oooowww!
- How-ow!

229
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:41,039
I don't know if we were
harmonizing with him...

230
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:42,472
or he was harmonizing with us.

231
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:45,705
Oh, he died from chasin' squirrels

232
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:46,871
Ladies and gentlemen...

233
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,038
He died from chasin' squirrels

234
00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:49,206
This is not a test.

235
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,374
He died from chasin' squirrels

236
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:51,542
We're at two minutes from broadcast.

237
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:53,745
He ate one and got sick

238
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,583
Must've been a bad one

239
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,747
- Must've been
- Ha ha!

240
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:57,812
A bad one

241
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,018
It must've been a bad one

242
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,061
He just laid down and died

243
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,653
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

244
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:06,631
Oh, God! This is it!

245
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:07,791
Oh!

246
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:08,959
I'm going into labor!

247
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,127
Oh! Uh... oh, my gosh!

248
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,000
I can feel it!
My baby's coming out!

249
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:15,666
It's going to come out on
this dirty make-up room floor!

250
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:17,733
Oh! Oh! Whoa!

251
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:18,903
Just take it easy.

252
00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:20,707
Just kidding.

253
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,577
- Ohh! You...
- You phony!

254
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,207
Get her up out of there.

255
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,752
You were fakin'?!
I was callin' 911!

256
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,048
I'm sorry.
They just wouldn't pay attention.

257
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,055
- I had to think of something...
- I'm going to work.

258
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,215
- Oh!
- Didn't mean to scare you, Donna.

259
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,849
Wilmer Scott.

260
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,086
- Let's go.
- Garrison!

261
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,718
Wilmer Scott was the one
who hypnotized the chickens...

262
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:37,387
- There you go.
- On the show.

263
00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:39,431
He did like, what,
four of those chickens in a row.

264
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,592
- Four or five of them.
- Who was Wilmer Scott?

265
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:44,262
<i>He was the host of that
Rise and Shine Show.</i>

266
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:45,895
Early in the morning. 5 A.M.

267
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:48,133
That's, uh, what, uh,
G.K. Got started in radio.

268
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,300
Right. Gospel show.

269
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,637
And he hypnotized chickens
on the radio?

270
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,735
No, but he did
the chickens on this show.

271
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:53,904
On this show?

272
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,072
<i>Not on that Rise and Shine Show.</i>

273
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,479
OK.

274
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,176
All right, let's dim the house lights.

275
00:11:58,251 --> 00:11:59,218
You remember when
he did those chickens?

276
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,650
- Hypnotized them?
- Yep.

277
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:01,687
Chinese chickens, right?

278
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,016
Kung Pao, I believe.

279
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:04,579
With the little... didn't they have a little...

280
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:05,715
Here we go. Over here.

281
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,555
Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin.

282
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:08,719
Pisca what?

283
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,820
<i>The sponsor. 5 A.M.
Rise and Shine Show.</i>

284
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:11,864
What was it called?

285
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:12,898
Made of buffalo grass...

286
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,194
And thirty seconds to broadcast, please.

287
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,599
Sassafras, and natural grain alcohol.

288
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:17,761
What was it called?

289
00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:18,929
Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin.

290
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,097
No, it's
Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin.

291
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,265
- Places, please.
- OK. Places.

292
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,433
That's what I said.

293
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,203
Remember the jingle?
How it went?

294
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:28,976
Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin
Medicinal Formula

295
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:30,140
Standin' by.
Here we go.

296
00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:32,013
It was what Wilmer Scott
had in his coffee cup...

297
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,609
- Uh-huh.
- Every morning.

298
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:34,983
- 5 A.M.
- Right here.

299
00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:36,021
Then he quit drinking.

300
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,489
- Uh-huh. OK.
- And he lost interest in radio.

301
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:39,752
Check your barn doors.

302
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:41,088
He developed mic fright.

303
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,320
How did he quit drinkin'?

304
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:43,384
He just quit.

305
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:45,656
- And we're on.
- Then he raised chickens.

306
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:48,200
Show chickens.
Chinese chickens.

307
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:54,801
I hear that old piano

308
00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:57,502
From down the avenue

309
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,973
I smell the pine trees

310
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:05,643
I look around for you

311
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:11,880
Oh, my sweet, sweet,
sweet old someone

312
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:15,825
Coming through that door

313
00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:20,458
It's Saturday
and the band is playin'

314
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:23,730
Honey, could we ask for more?

315
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,600
Hello, everybody,
on a Saturday night...

316
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,435
and welcome to a live broadcast...

317
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,702
<i>of A Prairie Home Companion
coming to you...</i>

318
00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:33,337
from WLT,
your friendly neighbor station.

319
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,642
Noir, where you been?

320
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:37,649
I was lookin' after the Johnson Girls.

321
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,446
OK. Aren't you supposed
to be guarding the door?

322
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:40,611
Are you worried about something?

323
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:43,349
Uh, I had a weird call
from some crazy lady, so...

324
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,890
Oh, she's not that crazy.

325
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:46,220
How do you know?

326
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:47,589
Because I met her
earlier this afternoon.

327
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,991
She came by.

328
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:52,225
What does she look like?
You get a description?

329
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:53,697
Yeah, I got a description.

330
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:54,858
Yeah?

331
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,162
She was beautiful.

332
00:13:56,235 --> 00:14:00,934
Her hair was what God had in mind
when he said, let there be...

333
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,736
Hair. Right. Hair.

334
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,710
Hair. Yeah.

335
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,302
She gave me a smile so sweet...

336
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,746
you could've poured it
on your pancakes.

337
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:12,410
She was wearing a white
trench coat so white...

338
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:15,477
that rain would be
embarrassed to fall on it.

339
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:16,988
Got it. Right.

340
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:18,216
The skirt she was
wearing was so tight...

341
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:21,283
you could read
the embroidery on her underwear.

342
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:28,096
It said, "Wash in lukewarm water
and spin lightly."

343
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,759
OK, you're makin' it up.

344
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:34,500
She had a Mount Rushmore t-shirt on,
and those guys never looked so good.

345
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,439
Especially Jefferson and Lincoln.

346
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:37,635
Right.

347
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,679
Kind of bloated but happy.

348
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:43,181
- If you know what I mean.
- Yeah.

349
00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:46,116
It was an honor just to sit there
and inhale the same air...

350
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:49,245
that she had so recently exhaled...

351
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:53,918
just to exchange the atmosphere
between us, so to speak.

352
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:55,085
Look, what did she want?

353
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,560
Did she say anything about...

354
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,721
Who?

355
00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,389
The lady.

356
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:02,491
Oh. She was looking for
the Presbyterian Church.

357
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,502
Like a dope,
I told her where it was.

358
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,562
And out of my life she went, just as...

359
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,234
quickly and erotically
as she had entered it.

360
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,043
Are you tired
of your current herring?

361
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,442
Has it lost that certain
something that you expect...

362
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,851
in a pickled fish product?

363
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:26,620
If so, maybe it's time you try Jens Jenson.

364
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:31,994
It's the Lake Superior herring that's made
the old-fashioned Norwegian way.

365
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:44,341
C-can someone turn it down, please?
Please?

366
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:47,709
Yeah, Jenson Herring is the best

367
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:48,981
Oh, Jens Jenson's.

368
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:50,915
- Please.
- Ask for it by name.

369
00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:53,816
And if your grocer doesn't stock it,
ask him why not.

370
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,478
You know what I'm gonna do?

371
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:58,183
I'm gonna color my hair
strawberry blonde.

372
00:15:58,691 --> 00:15:59,419
Hey.

373
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,858
I swear to God, I should
have done it years ago.

374
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:02,895
I should have broke loose...

375
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,294
gone to Chicago
when Mama died back then.

376
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:06,854
That's what I should have done.

377
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,696
You know, you put those things off.

378
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,134
You seldom get around to them again.

379
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,729
Hmm. What are you writin'?

380
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:14,966
Poem.

381
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,440
Oh, a poem.

382
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,875
What's it about?

383
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:20,469
Heh. Suicide.

384
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,343
Oh, my God.

385
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,282
Oh. OK.

386
00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:27,615
Well, you know what my philosophy is.

387
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,985
Yes, I do, so don't tell me.

388
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:35,585
I think that you gotta be grateful
for everything that happens to you...

389
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,391
because that's what
got you here, you know?

390
00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:41,297
And if you hadn't gone through
all the things that you went through...

391
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:43,597
why, you know,
you wouldn't have wound up...

392
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:47,469
where you are now, so,
I don't know.

393
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:48,802
Disappointment doesn't
get you anywhere.

394
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:49,842
Anywhere.

395
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,501
Aren't you wonderful?

396
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:54,808
Well, one door closes
and another one opens...

397
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:59,409
then, you know, everything is
a step along the way...

398
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:01,453
and it all leads to something else.

399
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,854
Pardon me if I don't
get down on my knees.

400
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:08,223
Well, that's what I think.

401
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:11,229
Ahem. Read me some of your poem.

402
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:12,559
It's not finished.

403
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:13,860
Huh?

404
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:16,163
OK.

405
00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:19,363
"Soliloquy for a Blue Guitar.

406
00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:20,405
"Death is easy...

407
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,203
"like jumping into the big, blue air...

408
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,267
"and waving hello to God.

409
00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:26,402
"God is love...

410
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,037
"but he doesn't necessarily
drop everything...

411
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:30,139
"to catch you, does he?

412
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:33,276
"So, when you hook the hose up
to your tailpipe...

413
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:35,946
"don't expect to wake up
and get toast for breakfast.

414
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:39,116
"The toast is you."

415
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:41,217
Hey, what was
the name of that song?

416
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:42,261
Well, did you like it?

417
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:45,126
I won't be loanin' you my car
any time soon.

418
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,995
Hose to the tailpipe.

419
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,332
Thank you so much.

420
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,767
I want to come in here
and sing a song for you...

421
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:55,535
<i>called Slow Days of Summer.</i>

422
00:17:55,608 --> 00:18:01,274
Send this out to all the friends
in my little hometown...

423
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:06,182
up north of here up on the river.

424
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:09,346
Slow days of summer

425
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,118
In this old town

426
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:15,183
Sun goes across the sky

427
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:18,355
Sometimes a car goes by

428
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:21,264
There's one right now

429
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,996
Looks like a Chevy

430
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:27,267
Your Chevy's blue

431
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:30,241
This Chevy's white and brown

432
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:33,301
It doesn't slow down

433
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:36,246
This looks like new

434
00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:39,079
You said you'd be here

435
00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:42,211
Someday yourself

436
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,189
Maybe by Saturday

437
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:48,318
If you can get away

438
00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,419
You'll let me know

439
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,067
You came back.

440
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,193
I did.

441
00:18:57,270 --> 00:19:00,068
The Presbyterians weren't
who you were looking for?

442
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,731
No, Mr. Noir.

443
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,672
I was sent here.

444
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,143
What can I do for you?

445
00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:07,873
Really nothing.

446
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,539
I'll take care of it.

447
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,105
Playing a note...

448
00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:14,380
You have a nice show here, Mr. Noir.

449
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:16,683
Thanks. We like it.

450
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:20,920
Do you believe in the fullness of time
and the spirit?

451
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,860
Most people don't, you know.

452
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:27,296
It would be good, Mr. Noir,
if you would open your heart...

453
00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:30,392
to the fullness of time and the spirit...

454
00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:36,772
which upholds and sustains us all
through this world. Amen.

455
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,275
Whatever you say.

456
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:42,940
Hmm.

457
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,850
Waiting for love to come

458
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:57,521
All is alive

459
00:19:57,596 --> 00:20:00,759
Birds sing with angel tongues

460
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,893
Small stones like diamonds

461
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:07,302
All down the drive

462
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:13,005
Around the corner,
an old dog appears

463
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:16,139
Sits in the summer sun

464
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:19,241
Waiting for love to come

465
00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:22,287
Wish you were here

466
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,290
Wish you were here

467
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:28,191
Ooh

468
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:31,924
Thank you, boys.

469
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,925
And the next week, we're back
doin' the county fair circuit...

470
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:39,061
changin' our petticoats
in the ladies' toilet...

471
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:40,571
and the boys tryin' to peek in.

472
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:41,936
Ha ha ha!

473
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:43,474
That was the only
good part about it.

474
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:45,737
Then you have to go outdoors
and sing in the open air...

475
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:48,302
with a cloud of mosquitoes
around your head.

476
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:51,680
Remember that time...
honestly, Lola, honest to God...

477
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,548
a dragonfly flew right in my mouth.

478
00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:54,608
Oh, yeah!

479
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:57,417
It was this big.
I thought it was a bird.

480
00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:58,479
How old were you then?

481
00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:01,287
I was thirteen.
Your mother was ten.

482
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:02,554
Wanda was what?

483
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:06,325
Wanda was sixteen.
Connie, fifteen.

484
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:07,889
Yep.

485
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,901
That was the end of it.
The end of the road.

486
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:12,267
That was a great...

487
00:21:12,338 --> 00:21:14,636
You know, Wanda took it
real hard, didn't she?

488
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:17,107
A week later, she got arrested.

489
00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:19,406
For what?
You never told me this.

490
00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:21,776
Shoplifting, and I did tell you this.

491
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:24,372
Mom, you're going senile.
You didn't tell me that.

492
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:25,417
No...

493
00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:27,384
She was havin'
a cup of coffee in the cafe.

494
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:28,715
She ordered a glazed doughnut.

495
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,518
She started eatin' it
and she got a sugar rush.

496
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:33,956
She was diagnosed hypoglycemic.

497
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,994
And so, she forgets
she didn't pay for the doughnut...

498
00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:37,221
and she walks out the door.

499
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,230
- It wasn't two minutes...
- But they arrested her for shopliftin'.

500
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:42,165
The red lights are flashin'
and she's in handcuffs...

501
00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:43,826
- And they had a policeman there.
- And the cameras, the TV camera...

502
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:46,235
- the station came right down.
- It was on the news.

503
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,535
And her hair is, like, stickin' out like this
and she's bawlin'...

504
00:21:48,607 --> 00:21:50,700
and Daddy sees it
on the 10:00 newscast.

505
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:52,641
'Cause he was
in the hospital with Mama.

506
00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:55,202
She was havin' her tubes tied
after Johnny was born.

507
00:21:55,281 --> 00:21:56,248
Thank you.

508
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,715
- Didn't need to know that.
- Well.

509
00:21:58,784 --> 00:22:03,278
Daddy sees Wanda gettin' arrested
on TV for shoplifting.

510
00:22:03,355 --> 00:22:05,255
He has a major coronary occlusion.

511
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:06,450
Yeah.

512
00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:09,392
He just climbed up into
the hospital bed with Mama...

513
00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:12,090
then he pulled the sheet
up over his own face...

514
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,098
and when the nurse came in,
he was dead.

515
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,430
That was it.
You know?

516
00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:20,233
He left a note, 'cause Wanda got
released from jail just for the funeral.

517
00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:23,798
He said, "Wanda, you broke my heart.
Signed, Daddy."

518
00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:26,868
She did thirty days
for one glazed doughnut.

519
00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:30,109
A 59-cent doughnut.
If it had been rock and roll...

520
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:32,116
she could have
thrown sofas out of the window...

521
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,345
hotel window.
No, not even her own sofa.

522
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:36,888
She could throw somebody else's sofa
out the window.

523
00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:39,083
You don't know what kind
of passersby at the bottom.

524
00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:41,092
She could have been hittin' people.
It wouldn't have mattered.

525
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,095
But when you're playin' to
Christian family audiences like we were...

526
00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:46,154
you so much as forget to pay
for a damn doughnut...

527
00:22:46,232 --> 00:22:48,393
they throw you out like
a piece of garbage.

528
00:22:48,467 --> 00:22:51,197
Sooner kill you than look at you.

529
00:22:51,270 --> 00:22:53,363
Some of those good people, eh?

530
00:22:53,439 --> 00:22:56,931
The Soderberg family selling out!

531
00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:59,273
I just do not get it.

532
00:22:59,345 --> 00:23:00,972
I mean, they've owned WLT...

533
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,480
since they ran it
out of a sandwich shop.

534
00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:05,449
I mean, that's what the call letters
stand for, you know.

535
00:23:05,518 --> 00:23:07,782
"With Lettuce and Tomato."
Did you know that?

536
00:23:07,853 --> 00:23:10,014
I mean, how do you just walk away
from somethin' like that?

537
00:23:10,089 --> 00:23:11,818
I mean, what are we?
Used Kleenex?

538
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,916
They got old, babe.

539
00:23:13,993 --> 00:23:17,190
They started thinking
about ease and comfort.

540
00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:22,360
Then, I figure, they saw a brochure
about an island with palm trees...

541
00:23:22,434 --> 00:23:26,530
and an azure sky
and miles of sand...

542
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:28,766
and they thought, "Hey! Ha ha!

543
00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:33,278
"We don't have to suffer through
these miserable Minnesota winters.

544
00:23:33,345 --> 00:23:36,781
"We don't have to freeze our butts off
waiting for our bus to come.

545
00:23:36,849 --> 00:23:41,548
"Our bus has come. It's here.
We'll leave the business to the kids...

546
00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:44,316
"and we'll head for paradise
and to hell with it."

547
00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:45,357
Only trouble is...

548
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:48,860
the kids had already gone down
to paradise ahead of them.

549
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:51,396
So then, a big corporation
down in Texas...

550
00:23:51,463 --> 00:23:54,489
offered them
a gazillion dollars for it.

551
00:23:54,567 --> 00:23:56,432
Texans.

552
00:23:56,502 --> 00:23:58,060
Sure.

553
00:23:58,137 --> 00:23:59,934
They talk funny
and their eyes don't focus...

554
00:24:00,005 --> 00:24:02,974
and their flesh is rotting
and falling off...

555
00:24:03,042 --> 00:24:07,172
but hey. You know. So what?

556
00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:11,615
Yeah, nobody's perfect and, uh...
money is money...

557
00:24:11,684 --> 00:24:14,152
so, the Soderbergs took the dough.
End of story.

558
00:24:14,219 --> 00:24:15,811
Do you have any tweezers?

559
00:24:15,888 --> 00:24:19,221
Egg salad or ham salad?

560
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:20,918
Why are you crying?

561
00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:23,553
Well, it's the last show.

562
00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:27,258
I'm never going to see
these people again.

563
00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:28,425
You'll see them again.

564
00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:31,367
I knew all of them from the old days.

565
00:24:31,437 --> 00:24:35,430
Soupy and Red, Ray.

566
00:24:35,507 --> 00:24:38,203
And Helen.

567
00:24:38,277 --> 00:24:40,472
Gone and forgotten.

568
00:24:40,546 --> 00:24:42,810
Every sparrow is remembered.

569
00:24:45,584 --> 00:24:49,020
I don't even know if they're gonna
make a speech or anything.

570
00:24:49,088 --> 00:24:51,386
It doesn't seem right, does it?

571
00:24:51,457 --> 00:24:52,424
No.

572
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:56,655
Some big company come in
and steps on us...

573
00:24:56,729 --> 00:24:59,061
like we were bugs at the picnic.

574
00:25:03,636 --> 00:25:06,605
What's in ham salad?

575
00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:11,541
L... I can't remember the word. It was...

576
00:25:11,610 --> 00:25:13,976
May I...

577
00:25:14,046 --> 00:25:15,843
Maybe...

578
00:25:15,914 --> 00:25:16,881
Mayo?

579
00:25:16,949 --> 00:25:20,407
Mayonnaise.

580
00:25:20,486 --> 00:25:22,147
Mayonnaise.

581
00:25:22,221 --> 00:25:26,521
Well, it's an end of an era
when this show goes, guys.

582
00:25:26,592 --> 00:25:28,617
There won't be anything left
on the radio except what?

583
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:31,390
People yellin' at you
and computers playing music.

584
00:25:31,463 --> 00:25:32,987
I mean, it's a tragedy.

585
00:25:33,065 --> 00:25:34,123
I wasn't gonna tell you this...

586
00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:36,724
but between you and me
and the fly on the wall...

587
00:25:36,802 --> 00:25:40,135
there's a woman on the premises who
I think, maybe, is gonna save our bacon.

588
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:41,194
Hmm?

589
00:25:41,273 --> 00:25:42,672
She's got that look about her.

590
00:25:42,741 --> 00:25:43,730
Who is she?

591
00:25:43,809 --> 00:25:46,505
I'm not sure. I'm still working
on figuring that one out.

592
00:25:46,578 --> 00:25:48,443
Just close your eyes
for a second.

593
00:25:48,514 --> 00:25:50,311
She from NorComm?

594
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:51,610
Time will tell.

595
00:25:51,684 --> 00:25:56,621
I'll just let personal charm
and dashing good looks do their work.

596
00:25:56,689 --> 00:25:58,953
She walked in,
couldn't take her eyes off me.

597
00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:01,686
Drawn to me like a moth to the flame.

598
00:26:01,927 --> 00:26:03,861
Every time there's
a triumph in the world...

599
00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:06,558
a million souls have to be trampled on.

600
00:26:06,632 --> 00:26:09,396
And right there... you can see it
right in the damn carpet.

601
00:26:09,468 --> 00:26:11,868
What does that have
to do with anything?

602
00:26:11,937 --> 00:26:13,837
Mama. She l... she went...

603
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:15,066
She went up to the...

604
00:26:15,140 --> 00:26:17,199
It was a lot for Mama to put up with.

605
00:26:17,276 --> 00:26:19,574
We had to shovel her into
the Good Shepherd Home.

606
00:26:19,645 --> 00:26:21,442
That's it.
That was the sad day.

607
00:26:21,513 --> 00:26:22,980
Connie quit the act.

608
00:26:23,048 --> 00:26:24,675
God, we'd already lost Wanda.

609
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:25,978
Wanda was like magic.

610
00:26:26,051 --> 00:26:27,814
The four of us,
when we were together...

611
00:26:27,886 --> 00:26:29,148
- she was singin'.
- She was...

612
00:26:29,221 --> 00:26:31,052
And next to you, I'm tellin' you...

613
00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:32,385
you've followed in her footsteps.

614
00:26:32,458 --> 00:26:34,653
You are the same...
the same talent.

615
00:26:34,727 --> 00:26:36,092
No. I don't know about that.

616
00:26:36,161 --> 00:26:37,423
So, now, it's just the two of us.

617
00:26:37,496 --> 00:26:38,929
Yep. Just the two of us.

618
00:26:38,997 --> 00:26:42,228
You know what?
It was your dad got us on the radio.

619
00:26:42,301 --> 00:26:44,792
God, that was
a good-lookin' family!

620
00:26:44,870 --> 00:26:46,804
I can understand you
goin' for that guy.

621
00:26:46,872 --> 00:26:48,806
Yeah, he sang like an angel.

622
00:26:48,874 --> 00:26:51,502
He sang...

623
00:26:51,577 --> 00:26:55,946
Softly and tenderly

624
00:26:56,014 --> 00:26:59,609
Jesus is calling

625
00:26:59,685 --> 00:27:06,557
Callin' for you and for me

626
00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:08,991
See on the portal

627
00:27:09,061 --> 00:27:12,997
He's waiting and watching

628
00:27:13,065 --> 00:27:19,163
Watching for you and for me

629
00:27:19,238 --> 00:27:21,832
Come home

630
00:27:21,907 --> 00:27:25,570
Come home

631
00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:33,141
Ye who are weary, come home

632
00:27:33,218 --> 00:27:36,483
Hmm-mmm.

633
00:27:36,555 --> 00:27:39,786
Singing is the only thing
that puts me right.

634
00:27:39,858 --> 00:27:43,954
Hmm-mmm.

635
00:27:44,630 --> 00:27:46,154
Well, Charlie, you're a good ol' boy

636
00:27:46,198 --> 00:27:47,927
Charlie, you're all right

637
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,558
Charlie, open up the store

638
00:27:49,635 --> 00:27:51,432
We're comin' down tonight

639
00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:53,266
Out where you can see the stars

640
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:54,669
And the living's slow

641
00:27:54,740 --> 00:27:56,708
We'll eat potluck and pool guitars

642
00:27:56,775 --> 00:27:58,436
Down on Old Plank Road

643
00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:00,171
Ohh

644
00:28:00,245 --> 00:28:01,712
Down on Old Plank Road

645
00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:03,714
We'll eat potluck and pool guitars

646
00:28:03,782 --> 00:28:05,807
Down on Old Plank Road

647
00:28:05,884 --> 00:28:07,146
Come home

648
00:28:07,219 --> 00:28:11,280
Come home

649
00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:18,228
Ye who are weary, come home

650
00:28:18,297 --> 00:28:20,197
Hold it. Are we on?

651
00:28:20,265 --> 00:28:21,323
Uh, not yet.
You've got a few minutes.

652
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,424
What are we doin'?

653
00:28:22,501 --> 00:28:26,164
<i>You're on in the Powdermilk segment
doing Gold Watch and Chain with him.</i>

654
00:28:26,238 --> 00:28:28,866
We haven't done that for years.

655
00:28:28,941 --> 00:28:33,310
I'll pawn you my gold watch
and chain, love

656
00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:36,905
I'll pawn you my gold wedding ring...

657
00:28:36,982 --> 00:28:37,949
Excuse me.

658
00:28:38,016 --> 00:28:40,314
I gotta get a head start
on gettin' pie-eyed tonight.

659
00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:43,548
This heart in my bosom

660
00:28:43,622 --> 00:28:48,685
Only say that you'll love me again

661
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,227
<i>How about Red River Valley?</i>

662
00:28:50,295 --> 00:28:52,991
Fine. Whatever you'd like.

663
00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:58,526
I would just like there to be
a spot for Lola on the show later.

664
00:28:58,604 --> 00:29:02,199
I hope so.
If there's time.

665
00:29:02,274 --> 00:29:05,038
Well, this isn't really gonna be
your last show, is it?

666
00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:07,078
Every show's your last show.

667
00:29:07,145 --> 00:29:08,976
That's my philosophy.

668
00:29:09,047 --> 00:29:12,574
Thank you, Plato.
Kierkegaard.

669
00:29:13,986 --> 00:29:15,351
Button up, would ya?

670
00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:17,911
I am. That's as far as it goes.

671
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,323
Well, sister and her oldest girl

672
00:29:23,395 --> 00:29:25,260
They sing so good together

673
00:29:25,330 --> 00:29:26,797
Jason, he can make me laugh

674
00:29:26,865 --> 00:29:28,765
And he just keeps gettin' better

675
00:29:28,834 --> 00:29:30,563
Claire has got a sweet new one

676
00:29:30,636 --> 00:29:32,035
About her, Timmy-o

677
00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:34,072
And John is everybody's man

678
00:29:34,139 --> 00:29:35,470
Down on Old Plank Road

679
00:29:35,807 --> 00:29:37,707
Ohh

680
00:29:37,776 --> 00:29:39,107
Down on Old Plank Road

681
00:29:39,177 --> 00:29:45,207
Hey, uh... can you tell potato face here
that his butt is too big for his pants...

682
00:29:45,284 --> 00:29:47,309
and people can see his crack...

683
00:29:47,386 --> 00:29:50,480
and it ain't nothin' any normal person
would ever care to look at?

684
00:29:50,555 --> 00:29:51,544
Where?

685
00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:54,148
In the back.
That's where your crack is.

686
00:29:54,226 --> 00:29:55,193
Well, I don't see nothin'.

687
00:29:55,260 --> 00:29:57,728
- Hey, Molly.
- Don't talk to me.

688
00:29:57,796 --> 00:29:58,956
Am I decent back there?

689
00:29:59,031 --> 00:30:01,363
Don't ask me.
I'm not your mother.

690
00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:04,368
You might be decent
if you lost 25 pounds of ugly fat.

691
00:30:04,436 --> 00:30:07,303
And I might suggest
cuttin' off your head.

692
00:30:07,372 --> 00:30:09,636
She showed me her tattoo once.

693
00:30:09,708 --> 00:30:11,073
Hell she did.

694
00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:12,906
On her shoulder.

695
00:30:12,978 --> 00:30:14,605
You're lyin' through your teeth.

696
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:15,806
Left shoulder.
Right here.

697
00:30:15,881 --> 00:30:17,815
- That ain't the shoulder.
- Whatever you want to call it.

698
00:30:17,883 --> 00:30:18,907
I'd call it the clavicle.

699
00:30:18,984 --> 00:30:20,144
OK, well, why don't you
ask her about it?

700
00:30:20,218 --> 00:30:21,310
Maybe she'll let you have a look.

701
00:30:21,386 --> 00:30:22,978
Well, what did it say?

702
00:30:23,055 --> 00:30:24,249
It said, "Freedom."

703
00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:26,257
Fr... Now I know you're lyin'.

704
00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:28,759
Come on. We gotta put out the CDs.

705
00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:31,557
Come on, niece.

706
00:30:31,630 --> 00:30:33,621
Hey. Molly.

707
00:30:33,699 --> 00:30:35,599
Molly, here.
Take these out front.

708
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:39,467
Did you hear about the Soderbergs
sellin' the radio station?

709
00:30:39,538 --> 00:30:41,665
I heard all about it.

710
00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:43,139
Are you OK?

711
00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:46,268
Yes, of course.
Hmm?

712
00:30:46,345 --> 00:30:48,245
Kind of a bizarre feeling, isn't it?

713
00:30:48,313 --> 00:30:50,577
- What?
- The silence.

714
00:30:50,649 --> 00:30:52,514
What?

715
00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:54,609
Well...

716
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,176
you're gonna say somethin' about it.

717
00:30:56,254 --> 00:30:57,653
You're gonna talk
to the people, aren't you?

718
00:30:57,723 --> 00:31:00,487
Say, "Thanks for listening,"
or something.

719
00:31:00,559 --> 00:31:01,753
Yeah, you know.

720
00:31:01,827 --> 00:31:02,816
I don't think so.

721
00:31:02,894 --> 00:31:04,020
Why not?
Say, "Thank you."

722
00:31:04,096 --> 00:31:05,757
What?

723
00:31:05,831 --> 00:31:08,197
I'm just not into making big speeches.

724
00:31:08,266 --> 00:31:09,494
What do you do when you
leave somebody's house?

725
00:31:09,568 --> 00:31:10,660
You don't just turn around...

726
00:31:10,736 --> 00:31:13,364
I don't make a big speech.
A big weepy speech.

727
00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:17,306
Oh, that's it!
You're afraid that you're gonna cry!

728
00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:18,638
I wouldn't.

729
00:31:18,710 --> 00:31:21,702
Yeah, that's right.
That's true. You wouldn't.

730
00:31:21,780 --> 00:31:25,716
And you know, that's why, I think,
that our romance was so short.

731
00:31:25,784 --> 00:31:28,912
Because I knew that when we broke up,
you would not cry...

732
00:31:28,987 --> 00:31:30,955
so, I got way over it.

733
00:31:32,824 --> 00:31:33,916
Does that make sense to you?

734
00:31:33,992 --> 00:31:34,959
No, not at all.

735
00:31:35,027 --> 00:31:39,088
Bebopareebop Frozen Rhubarb Pie
and Frozen Rhubarb Pie Filling.

736
00:31:39,164 --> 00:31:43,260
Wouldn't this be a good time
for a piece of rhubarb pie?

737
00:31:43,335 --> 00:31:45,826
Yes, one little thing can revive a guy

738
00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:48,202
And that is a piece of rhubarb pie

739
00:31:48,273 --> 00:31:50,741
Serve it up, nice and hot

740
00:31:50,809 --> 00:31:53,039
Maybe things aren't
as bad as you thought

741
00:31:53,111 --> 00:31:55,443
Mammy's little baby
loves rhubarb, rhubarb

742
00:31:55,514 --> 00:31:57,675
Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie

743
00:31:57,749 --> 00:32:00,081
Mama's little baby
loves rhubarb, rhubarb

744
00:32:00,152 --> 00:32:02,416
Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie

745
00:32:02,487 --> 00:32:04,421
Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie

746
00:32:04,489 --> 00:32:07,049
Yes, Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.

747
00:32:07,125 --> 00:32:08,353
And now, for Bebopareebop...

748
00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:11,521
please welcome one of radio's
great singing families...

749
00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:14,463
the Johnson Girls,
Rhonda and Yolanda.

750
00:32:15,634 --> 00:32:17,431
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi.

751
00:32:17,636 --> 00:32:21,072
Oh, thank you. Thank you!
Thank you very much.

752
00:32:21,139 --> 00:32:24,666
I just want to say right away
how happy I am...

753
00:32:24,743 --> 00:32:28,304
that my daughter Lola
is here tonight.

754
00:32:28,380 --> 00:32:29,711
- Come on, Lola.
- Oh! Thank you, sweetheart.

755
00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:30,805
They want to see you.

756
00:32:30,882 --> 00:32:32,907
It means a lot to me that you came.

757
00:32:32,984 --> 00:32:36,351
Yeah, I named my little girl Lola
after our own mother.

758
00:32:36,421 --> 00:32:37,445
Yeah, Lola was our mom.

759
00:32:37,522 --> 00:32:42,357
Lola. And tonight,
we're gonna sing...

760
00:32:42,427 --> 00:32:45,590
an old song that our mother loved.

761
00:32:45,664 --> 00:32:46,926
Oh, it's one of her favorites.

762
00:32:46,998 --> 00:32:49,990
Yep. She was our inspiration.

763
00:32:50,068 --> 00:32:51,365
Some of you know this story...

764
00:32:51,436 --> 00:32:56,533
but she's the main reason
that we started makin' music originally...

765
00:32:56,608 --> 00:33:00,408
because you know she...

766
00:33:00,479 --> 00:33:03,039
it was the only way we knew
to make her happy.

767
00:33:03,115 --> 00:33:06,915
She'd be down on the kitchen floor
scrubbin' on her knees.

768
00:33:06,985 --> 00:33:10,148
But if you stood in the doorway
and you sang a song that she liked...

769
00:33:10,222 --> 00:33:13,191
why, she would just look up and smile.

770
00:33:13,258 --> 00:33:15,954
Ha ha!
Worn out as she was...

771
00:33:16,027 --> 00:33:19,724
it was a smile as wide
as the Mississippi. Heh heh.

772
00:33:21,766 --> 00:33:22,733
Down at the mouth.

773
00:33:22,801 --> 00:33:25,395
Not so slow, you sons of bitches.
I'll break your necks.

774
00:33:25,470 --> 00:33:26,630
- Yeah.
- I mean it.

775
00:33:26,705 --> 00:33:28,673
And you could see her gold tooth.

776
00:33:30,909 --> 00:33:36,472
Way down upon
that old Mississippi River

777
00:33:36,548 --> 00:33:41,645
Not so far away

778
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:47,056
That's where my folks
have lived forever

779
00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:52,620
And that's where I'm going to stay

780
00:33:52,697 --> 00:33:58,363
I been searchin'
'cross the whole creation

781
00:33:58,436 --> 00:34:01,837
Half my life or more

782
00:34:01,907 --> 00:34:04,205
And more

783
00:34:04,276 --> 00:34:09,304
But I found
my own sweet satisfaction

784
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:14,717
Right here on that muddy river shore

785
00:34:14,786 --> 00:34:19,723
All the world is so sad and dreary

786
00:34:19,791 --> 00:34:25,889
Everywhere I roam

787
00:34:25,964 --> 00:34:27,625
- Oh
- Oh, Mama

788
00:34:27,699 --> 00:34:31,362
Mama, how I miss the prairie

789
00:34:31,436 --> 00:34:37,397
And my Minnesota home

790
00:34:37,475 --> 00:34:42,936
I can see my mama's sweet, sweet face
every Sunday morning.

791
00:34:43,014 --> 00:34:47,610
All the good old hymns, praise God,
that we've sung.

792
00:34:47,686 --> 00:34:52,988
We knelt in prayer right beside
our precious aunts and uncles...

793
00:34:53,058 --> 00:34:58,997
Who loved us when we were young

794
00:34:59,064 --> 00:35:01,328
In the valley of darkness

795
00:35:01,399 --> 00:35:04,163
They are the shepherds

796
00:35:04,236 --> 00:35:09,731
Who lead me to pastures green

797
00:35:09,808 --> 00:35:12,174
And I'll sit with my mama

798
00:35:12,244 --> 00:35:15,270
By the still, still waters

799
00:35:15,347 --> 00:35:20,649
And goodness and mercy follow me

800
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,517
I floated down

801
00:35:23,588 --> 00:35:26,318
The Columbia and the Hudson

802
00:35:26,391 --> 00:35:31,852
Walked on the banks of the Ohio

803
00:35:31,930 --> 00:35:34,194
On the banks of the Wabash

804
00:35:34,266 --> 00:35:36,894
And the mighty Colorado

805
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:42,600
And the old Red River way up north

806
00:35:42,674 --> 00:35:44,266
All the world

807
00:35:44,342 --> 00:35:48,108
It is a world of rivers

808
00:35:48,179 --> 00:35:51,774
Flowing to the sea

809
00:35:51,850 --> 00:35:53,943
Yeah

810
00:35:54,019 --> 00:35:58,388
But here on that old Mississippi

811
00:35:58,456 --> 00:36:02,790
Here is the home for you and me

812
00:36:02,861 --> 00:36:04,192
Come on, bring it home!

813
00:36:04,262 --> 00:36:06,457
All the world

814
00:36:06,531 --> 00:36:09,466
It is so sad and dreary

815
00:36:09,534 --> 00:36:14,198
Everywhere I roam

816
00:36:14,272 --> 00:36:15,432
Oh, oh, oh

817
00:36:15,507 --> 00:36:17,532
Oh, Mama

818
00:36:17,609 --> 00:36:21,943
How I missed the prairie

819
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:23,310
E-e-e

820
00:36:23,381 --> 00:36:25,110
- Ha ha.
- Ha ha.

821
00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:31,122
And my Minnesota

822
00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:37,424
Home

823
00:36:45,437 --> 00:36:47,098
The Johnson Girls, thank you.

824
00:36:47,172 --> 00:36:49,003
Brought to you
by Powdermilk Biscuits...

825
00:36:49,074 --> 00:36:51,542
in the big blue box with the picture
of the biscuit on the cover.

826
00:36:51,609 --> 00:36:52,837
Heavens, they're tasty.

827
00:36:52,911 --> 00:36:54,139
And expeditious.

828
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:56,840
Also brought to you
by Mel's Big Boy Buffet.

829
00:36:56,915 --> 00:36:59,008
Why pay more for fancy food...

830
00:36:59,084 --> 00:37:02,952
when what you really want
is meatloaf, squash...

831
00:37:03,088 --> 00:37:04,919
mashed potatoes, and bread pudding...

832
00:37:04,989 --> 00:37:08,857
all at Mel's Big Boy Buffet
for just 4.99.

833
00:37:08,927 --> 00:37:10,189
Yes, you heard me right.

834
00:37:10,261 --> 00:37:12,991
$4.99.

835
00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:14,691
Let's bring out Mr. Chuck Akers here...

836
00:37:14,766 --> 00:37:17,701
Mr. Chuck Akers, come out here
and give us a song.

837
00:37:17,769 --> 00:37:20,533
The sweet singer of Kandiyohi County...

838
00:37:20,605 --> 00:37:23,233
the heartthrob
of mature women everywhere.

839
00:37:23,308 --> 00:37:25,674
My good friend, Mr. Chuck Akers.

840
00:37:25,744 --> 00:37:26,836
Good to see you, sir.

841
00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:27,878
Thank you, sir.

842
00:37:27,946 --> 00:37:31,677
Uh, we would like to bring a song
to all of our fans.

843
00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:34,378
Now, that's kind of tough to do,
'cause we're all over the place.

844
00:37:34,452 --> 00:37:36,545
Take me.
Yeah, I've bounced all over.

845
00:37:36,621 --> 00:37:41,718
I've done tent shows, schoolhouses,
uh, parkin' lots...

846
00:37:41,793 --> 00:37:45,388
the back of trucks,
movie theaters, auditoriums.

847
00:37:45,463 --> 00:37:47,226
I've even done churches.

848
00:37:47,298 --> 00:37:48,890
Now, that's hard to believe, I know.

849
00:37:48,967 --> 00:37:50,867
Anyway, this song is for you.

850
00:37:50,935 --> 00:37:53,961
And we mean every word of it,
all right?

851
00:37:54,038 --> 00:37:55,471
Sic 'em.

852
00:37:56,775 --> 00:37:57,969
Hmm

853
00:37:58,042 --> 00:37:59,509
Do do do do

854
00:37:59,577 --> 00:38:01,670
My bark of life

855
00:38:01,746 --> 00:38:04,078
Was tossin' down

856
00:38:04,149 --> 00:38:08,245
The troubled stream of time

857
00:38:08,319 --> 00:38:10,184
When first I saw

858
00:38:10,255 --> 00:38:12,314
Your smilin' face

859
00:38:12,390 --> 00:38:16,417
And youth was in its prime

860
00:38:16,494 --> 00:38:18,826
Oh, I'll ne'er forget

861
00:38:18,897 --> 00:38:21,297
Where'er I roam

862
00:38:21,366 --> 00:38:25,564
Wherever you may be

863
00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:27,605
If ever I

864
00:38:27,672 --> 00:38:29,640
Have had a friend

865
00:38:29,707 --> 00:38:33,108
You've been that friend to me

866
00:38:33,178 --> 00:38:34,145
- Hey, Lola.
- Hi.

867
00:38:34,212 --> 00:38:36,840
Heard you're gonna sing a song for us,
lookin' forward to that.

868
00:38:36,915 --> 00:38:38,940
Oh, no. I don't... maybe.

869
00:38:39,017 --> 00:38:40,541
Well, it sure would mean
the world to your mom.

870
00:38:40,618 --> 00:38:42,085
She always said you had talent.

871
00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:44,621
Yeah, I don't... I don't really know
any of their songs.

872
00:38:44,689 --> 00:38:46,088
I only know my own songs.

873
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:47,624
Well, sing one of them then.

874
00:38:47,692 --> 00:38:49,887
They're mostly about death.

875
00:38:49,961 --> 00:38:51,553
Oh.

876
00:38:51,629 --> 00:38:54,097
Well, lotta good songs about death.

877
00:38:54,165 --> 00:38:56,463
All mine are about suicide.

878
00:38:56,534 --> 00:38:58,331
Oh.

879
00:38:58,403 --> 00:39:02,134
Yeah, you know, um,
hangin' yourself with an extension cord...

880
00:39:02,207 --> 00:39:04,971
- carbon monoxide, overdose...
- Hey, ahem...

881
00:39:05,043 --> 00:39:08,809
<i>you know, we could do, uh,
Amazing Grace together.</i>

882
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,040
<i>I know Amazing Grace.</i>

883
00:39:10,114 --> 00:39:11,342
Yeah?
Well, hey, look.

884
00:39:11,416 --> 00:39:13,350
I'll play the guitar,
we'll sing it together...

885
00:39:13,418 --> 00:39:14,385
we'll bring this house down.

886
00:39:14,452 --> 00:39:15,419
You know, I don't know
if you knew this...

887
00:39:15,487 --> 00:39:17,387
- about my friend Dusty here...
- Hey, hey.

888
00:39:17,455 --> 00:39:20,219
But he learned to sing gospel music
in San Quentin.

889
00:39:20,291 --> 00:39:21,519
And full shush.

890
00:39:21,593 --> 00:39:22,582
Yes sir, that's where I met him.

891
00:39:22,660 --> 00:39:24,184
I was with Johnny Cash,
singin' in prisons.

892
00:39:24,262 --> 00:39:25,320
Shut the pie hole.

893
00:39:25,396 --> 00:39:26,829
There were all these
heinous, depraved criminals...

894
00:39:26,898 --> 00:39:28,923
- And well...
- Liar, liar. Whatever, moron.

895
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,092
<i>He sang Amazing Grace...</i>

896
00:39:30,168 --> 00:39:32,830
and it almost made you forget
what he'd done.

897
00:39:32,904 --> 00:39:34,371
Which I don't wanna talk about.

898
00:39:34,439 --> 00:39:36,873
You know, you are so dumb,
you may be twins.

899
00:39:36,941 --> 00:39:39,569
He made me promise on a Bible
that I would never tell, and I won't.

900
00:39:39,644 --> 00:39:41,874
So let that be the end of it.
Let me just say this, though.

901
00:39:41,946 --> 00:39:43,641
Watch out for hugs.

902
00:39:44,983 --> 00:39:46,177
Heh!

903
00:39:46,251 --> 00:39:47,513
Right.

904
00:39:47,585 --> 00:39:49,450
If ever I

905
00:39:49,521 --> 00:39:51,921
Have had a friend

906
00:39:51,990 --> 00:39:54,015
You've been that friend

907
00:39:54,092 --> 00:39:56,458
- To me
- To me

908
00:39:56,528 --> 00:39:58,996
If ever I

909
00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:02,191
Have had a friend

910
00:40:02,267 --> 00:40:05,361
You've been that friend to me

911
00:40:06,437 --> 00:40:07,734
Thank you. Thank you.

912
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:10,600
Thank you, G.K.

913
00:40:11,809 --> 00:40:13,936
Mr. Chuck Akers!

914
00:40:14,012 --> 00:40:15,570
Thank you, Chuck.

915
00:40:15,647 --> 00:40:17,239
Robin and Linda Williams.

916
00:40:17,649 --> 00:40:19,480
Let's come in here now
with a word about ketchup.

917
00:40:19,551 --> 00:40:23,544
Yes, ketchup, made from tomatoes
that contain natural sunshine...

918
00:40:23,621 --> 00:40:26,055
which we need in this part
of the country.

919
00:40:26,124 --> 00:40:27,557
We are not a sunshiny people.

920
00:40:27,625 --> 00:40:29,923
We're not a paradise people
or a beach people.

921
00:40:29,994 --> 00:40:31,484
We are dark people.

922
00:40:31,563 --> 00:40:33,724
People who believed it could be worse.

923
00:40:33,798 --> 00:40:36,028
And we're waiting
for it to become worse.

924
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:38,568
We come from people
who brought us up to believe...

925
00:40:38,636 --> 00:40:40,695
that life is a struggle...

926
00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:42,899
and if you should
ever feel really happy...

927
00:40:42,974 --> 00:40:45,306
be patient. This will pass.

928
00:40:45,376 --> 00:40:46,536
- Ha ha ha.
- So we could...

929
00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:47,578
When do you guys go on?

930
00:40:47,645 --> 00:40:51,945
As soon as ol' spud butt here
shuts his yapper.

931
00:40:52,016 --> 00:40:53,210
Thanks for the encouragement.

932
00:40:53,284 --> 00:40:55,252
Hey, you are gonna be great.
Give me a hug.

933
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:56,048
All right, guys.

934
00:40:56,354 --> 00:40:57,582
More show in just a moment...

935
00:40:57,655 --> 00:41:00,249
but let's come in here now
with a word about shoes!

936
00:41:00,325 --> 00:41:02,452
That's Guy's Shoes. Boys...

937
00:41:02,527 --> 00:41:04,927
Talkin' shoes

938
00:41:04,996 --> 00:41:06,725
Talkin' Guy's

939
00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:10,734
Any two, any size

940
00:41:10,802 --> 00:41:12,895
From your ankles to your toes

941
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:14,905
At the bottom of your clothes

942
00:41:14,973 --> 00:41:16,770
You're talkin' shoes

943
00:41:16,841 --> 00:41:18,331
Talkin' Guy's

944
00:41:19,510 --> 00:41:21,444
Yes, Guy's Shoes.
They're made to last.

945
00:41:21,512 --> 00:41:24,481
Ask about those Guy's Cash Shoes,
with the hole in the soles...

946
00:41:24,549 --> 00:41:27,450
so you stash your cash
when you're out on the trail.

947
00:41:27,518 --> 00:41:28,644
Isn't that right, Lefty?

948
00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:30,017
That's where I keep mine, G.K.

949
00:41:30,088 --> 00:41:31,453
All right.
Let's welcome 'em now...

950
00:41:31,522 --> 00:41:33,012
the old trail hands here...

951
00:41:33,091 --> 00:41:36,527
the Pachelbels of the prairie,
the Brahmses of the bunkhouse...

952
00:41:36,594 --> 00:41:38,289
here they are,
Dusty and Lefty.

953
00:41:38,363 --> 00:41:40,297
- Good to have you with us.
- Well, thank you, Garrison.

954
00:41:40,365 --> 00:41:41,992
Yes sir, it's good to be back on the show...

955
00:41:42,066 --> 00:41:44,899
because, you know, it gets
mighty lonesome out there on the prairie.

956
00:41:44,969 --> 00:41:47,597
And a cowboy gets
tired of scenery after a while.

957
00:41:47,672 --> 00:41:50,732
You get, well,
sceneried out, and uh...

958
00:41:50,808 --> 00:41:54,266
sort of wish you had
somebody to talk to.

959
00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:55,312
Somebody smart.

960
00:41:55,380 --> 00:41:56,347
- Hmm.
- Ha ha ha.

961
00:41:56,414 --> 00:41:59,906
So you're lonesome for people, huh?

962
00:41:59,984 --> 00:42:01,815
Well, you know, it's true, Garrison.

963
00:42:01,886 --> 00:42:05,322
And, uh, it-it ain't the same
just talkin' to your horse.

964
00:42:05,390 --> 00:42:07,153
My horse is extremely smart.

965
00:42:07,225 --> 00:42:09,523
Uh, he knows math.

966
00:42:09,594 --> 00:42:12,154
He knows physics and chemistry...

967
00:42:12,230 --> 00:42:14,460
but I can't seem
to teach him philosophy.

968
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,159
Can't teach him philosophy, eh?

969
00:42:16,234 --> 00:42:18,498
Well, no. You can't put Descartes
before the horse.

970
00:42:18,569 --> 00:42:19,536
- Aw...
- Ha ha ha.

971
00:42:19,604 --> 00:42:20,730
That was a good one, you know?

972
00:42:21,906 --> 00:42:24,170
Well, what do you reckon
we sing a song, Dusty?

973
00:42:24,242 --> 00:42:25,504
Well, let's do it, Lefty.

974
00:42:25,576 --> 00:42:27,476
One, two, you know what to do.

975
00:42:32,750 --> 00:42:34,615
I'm just an old cowboy

976
00:42:34,686 --> 00:42:36,517
With twigs in my hair

977
00:42:36,587 --> 00:42:38,578
Two-thirds alligator

978
00:42:38,656 --> 00:42:40,647
And three-quarters bear

979
00:42:40,725 --> 00:42:42,784
And one half a lion

980
00:42:42,860 --> 00:42:44,623
But let it be known

981
00:42:44,696 --> 00:42:46,527
I never told one lie

982
00:42:46,597 --> 00:42:48,224
That was not my own

983
00:42:48,299 --> 00:42:50,563
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo

984
00:42:50,635 --> 00:42:54,765
Get along, little dogie

985
00:42:54,839 --> 00:42:56,739
I eat when I'm hungry

986
00:42:56,808 --> 00:42:58,605
I'll drink when I'm dry

987
00:42:58,676 --> 00:43:00,541
Don't boss me or cross me

988
00:43:00,611 --> 00:43:02,306
Or I'll spit in your eye

989
00:43:02,380 --> 00:43:04,211
I think what I please

990
00:43:04,282 --> 00:43:06,580
And I say what I mean

991
00:43:06,651 --> 00:43:08,380
And I think all you women

992
00:43:08,453 --> 00:43:10,387
Are the finest I've seen

993
00:43:10,455 --> 00:43:12,480
Whoopi-ti-yi-yo...

994
00:43:12,557 --> 00:43:15,151
So my mom said, um...

995
00:43:15,226 --> 00:43:17,126
my mom said, you got into radio...

996
00:43:17,195 --> 00:43:21,097
uh, when someone was flying a kite
whose clothes came off? Ha.

997
00:43:21,165 --> 00:43:23,258
A naked man flying.
Quite a sight.

998
00:43:23,334 --> 00:43:25,234
Why didn't he pull his shorts up?

999
00:43:26,671 --> 00:43:29,663
He was hanging on to the kite,
couldn't let go.

1000
00:43:29,741 --> 00:43:31,368
- He was up high.
- Ha.

1001
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:33,410
A hundred feet up in the air...

1002
00:43:33,478 --> 00:43:35,070
fifty.

1003
00:43:35,146 --> 00:43:36,511
Ha.

1004
00:43:36,581 --> 00:43:38,708
So, how did that get you into radio?

1005
00:43:38,783 --> 00:43:40,978
Well, that was how I met your dad.

1006
00:43:42,019 --> 00:43:43,145
Here comes the solo.

1007
00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:54,655
Yeah, real good.
Real good.

1008
00:43:54,732 --> 00:43:56,256
- Wait, naked guy...
- Yeah?

1009
00:43:56,334 --> 00:43:57,562
- Was my dad?
- Right.

1010
00:43:57,635 --> 00:43:58,966
Ha.

1011
00:43:59,036 --> 00:44:02,802
Naked man with red swim trunks
around his ankles.

1012
00:44:02,874 --> 00:44:04,569
Couple thousand people saw it...

1013
00:44:04,642 --> 00:44:06,940
so we figured it was a good time
to leave town...

1014
00:44:07,011 --> 00:44:10,572
so we got a car,
and we headed down to Chicago.

1015
00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:11,615
We ride in the snow

1016
00:44:11,682 --> 00:44:13,809
And we ride in the rain

1017
00:44:13,885 --> 00:44:15,682
Just like Gene Autry

1018
00:44:15,753 --> 00:44:18,017
Just like John Wayne

1019
00:44:18,089 --> 00:44:19,716
They were better cowboys

1020
00:44:19,791 --> 00:44:21,520
Than us and I mean it

1021
00:44:21,592 --> 00:44:23,389
But we are still livin'

1022
00:44:23,461 --> 00:44:25,452
And that is convenient

1023
00:44:25,530 --> 00:44:26,588
Huh!

1024
00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:28,222
Pi-ti-yi-yo

1025
00:44:28,299 --> 00:44:31,632
Get along, little dogie

1026
00:44:31,702 --> 00:44:32,669
Huh!

1027
00:44:32,737 --> 00:44:34,136
Pi-ti-yi-yo

1028
00:44:34,205 --> 00:44:38,198
Get along, little dogies

1029
00:44:40,411 --> 00:44:42,106
I go in to pay for the gas...

1030
00:44:42,146 --> 00:44:44,979
and he wakes up and decides
he needs to use the men's room.

1031
00:44:45,049 --> 00:44:46,880
So I come back.

1032
00:44:46,951 --> 00:44:49,419
I think he's still sleeping
in the back seat...

1033
00:44:49,487 --> 00:44:53,423
and I get behind the wheel,
and I drive to Chicago.

1034
00:44:53,491 --> 00:44:54,822
I leave him there in Oshkosh.

1035
00:44:54,892 --> 00:45:00,125
And he goes into the cafe,
and your mother was the waitress.

1036
00:45:00,198 --> 00:45:01,222
That's how they met.

1037
00:45:01,299 --> 00:45:03,392
That's how I came to be born.

1038
00:45:03,467 --> 00:45:06,868
Well, it kind of led to that, yeah.

1039
00:45:06,938 --> 00:45:09,168
Yeah, but I mean if you had
looked in the back seat...

1040
00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:11,834
and... and seen that he wasn't there,
I wouldn't exist.

1041
00:45:11,909 --> 00:45:16,676
Well, he and I weren't getting along
that well, so that's why.

1042
00:45:18,082 --> 00:45:19,174
That's really strange.

1043
00:45:19,250 --> 00:45:22,583
Well, no. I think it's one...

1044
00:45:22,653 --> 00:45:25,144
of the most beautiful things
I ever did not do.

1045
00:45:28,326 --> 00:45:31,454
So how'd you get into radio then?

1046
00:45:31,529 --> 00:45:34,464
<i>Well, there was a show called, uh,
The Baked Bean Jubilee.</i>

1047
00:45:34,532 --> 00:45:36,466
- Yeah, with my dad.
- With your dad, right.

1048
00:45:36,534 --> 00:45:38,525
- Happy Baked Beans.
- Happy Baked Beans, you know?

1049
00:45:38,603 --> 00:45:40,901
Happy Baked Beans

1050
00:45:40,972 --> 00:45:41,939
Are nutritious

1051
00:45:42,006 --> 00:45:42,973
Shh! Keep your voices down!

1052
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,201
Made the natural way

1053
00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:47,710
- Keep your voices down!
- Made of natural fiber

1054
00:45:47,778 --> 00:45:48,745
Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!

1055
00:45:48,813 --> 00:45:50,713
Try some, you will say

1056
00:45:50,781 --> 00:45:52,715
- There's a show going on!
- They are nature's fruit

1057
00:45:52,783 --> 00:45:54,944
Root-ti-toot-toot-toot

1058
00:45:55,019 --> 00:45:57,044
Try baked beans

1059
00:45:57,121 --> 00:46:00,921
Every day

1060
00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:22,906
Ooh, baby

1061
00:46:22,980 --> 00:46:24,538
- You're my man
- Mmm. Hmm!

1062
00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:27,106
Ahh, ooh, you do what...

1063
00:46:27,518 --> 00:46:28,985
Let's come in here now
with some cards and letters...

1064
00:46:29,020 --> 00:46:31,488
from the friends
and neighbors out there.

1065
00:46:31,555 --> 00:46:33,921
So good to know that
you're out there listening.

1066
00:46:33,991 --> 00:46:36,858
Here's a little note here from Aaron...

1067
00:46:36,928 --> 00:46:39,158
who says our show is a source
of comfort and laughter for him.

1068
00:46:39,230 --> 00:46:41,562
- And he's hoping...
- And he's hopin' that the Johnson Girls...

1069
00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:42,724
he's goin' to hear them
shake their hips a little...

1070
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:45,496
<i>and sing Touch me,
Kiss me, Be my man.</i>

1071
00:46:45,569 --> 00:46:47,503
No, he was just joking, he says.

1072
00:46:47,571 --> 00:46:48,663
Just joking about that.

1073
00:46:48,739 --> 00:46:51,765
<i>He was hoping that we would sing, uh,
Gold Watch and Chain.</i>

1074
00:46:51,842 --> 00:46:53,002
- Oh. Oh, I bet.
- Yolanda.

1075
00:46:53,077 --> 00:46:54,305
Yolanda and I.

1076
00:46:54,378 --> 00:46:55,902
So let's bring up Yolanda here.

1077
00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:59,211
<i>This beautiful old song
Gold Watch and Chain. Boys.</i>

1078
00:47:04,855 --> 00:47:09,554
Darlin', how can I stay
here without you?

1079
00:47:09,627 --> 00:47:14,326
I have nothing
to ease my poor heart

1080
00:47:14,398 --> 00:47:18,994
All the world would seem sad,
dear, without you

1081
00:47:19,070 --> 00:47:23,837
Tell me now that we never will part

1082
00:47:23,908 --> 00:47:28,675
I will pawn you
my gold watch and chain, love

1083
00:47:28,746 --> 00:47:33,376
I will pawn you
my gold wedding ring

1084
00:47:33,451 --> 00:47:35,681
I will pawn you this...

1085
00:47:35,753 --> 00:47:37,152
- Molly?
- What?

1086
00:47:37,221 --> 00:47:38,381
Would you come here a moment?

1087
00:47:39,490 --> 00:47:40,718
What is it, Guy?

1088
00:47:42,326 --> 00:47:44,817
Um, I just want to...

1089
00:47:44,895 --> 00:47:46,362
Oh...

1090
00:47:46,430 --> 00:47:49,058
You are fat.

1091
00:47:52,169 --> 00:47:57,630
Y-you might think about cutting down
on the, um, desserts and the beer.

1092
00:47:57,708 --> 00:48:00,734
And also possibly sex with men.

1093
00:48:00,811 --> 00:48:04,713
W-when did...
when did this take place?

1094
00:48:04,782 --> 00:48:06,181
Who... who did this to you?

1095
00:48:07,952 --> 00:48:12,116
Ahh, yes, Lefty, Dusty,
are... are you boys aware of this?

1096
00:48:12,189 --> 00:48:15,647
O-our little girl's going
to be a-a single mom.

1097
00:48:15,726 --> 00:48:17,660
- You poor thing.
- Thank you.

1098
00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:20,162
I'll swear on a stack of Bibles
it wasn't me, darlin'.

1099
00:48:20,231 --> 00:48:23,257
Oh, that's great
to know, Dusty. Thanks.

1100
00:48:23,334 --> 00:48:25,325
Do not scorn her

1101
00:48:25,403 --> 00:48:29,499
With words fierce and bitter

1102
00:48:29,573 --> 00:48:34,943
Do not laugh
at her shame and downfall

1103
00:48:35,012 --> 00:48:36,104
You should sit.

1104
00:48:36,180 --> 00:48:40,879
For a moment,
just stop and consider

1105
00:48:40,951 --> 00:48:42,043
Just ignore them.

1106
00:48:42,119 --> 00:48:48,490
That a man
was the cause of it all

1107
00:48:48,559 --> 00:48:49,924
Dusty!

1108
00:48:49,994 --> 00:48:51,518
Yo!

1109
00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:52,687
That reminds me.

1110
00:48:52,763 --> 00:48:55,254
About that obscene song
you sang last week.

1111
00:48:55,332 --> 00:48:57,027
- Obscene? Uh...
- Yeah.

1112
00:48:57,101 --> 00:48:59,695
"I'll give you my moonshine
if you show me your jugs"?

1113
00:48:59,770 --> 00:49:01,795
No, not that one.

1114
00:49:01,872 --> 00:49:04,102
"Lovin' you ain't easy,
but I hear your sister is"?

1115
00:49:04,175 --> 00:49:06,507
No, no, no.
"Come ride my pony all night long.

1116
00:49:06,577 --> 00:49:08,738
"Come ride him bareback,
I'll sing you a song." That one.

1117
00:49:08,813 --> 00:49:10,508
That's just a song
about ridin' a pony.

1118
00:49:10,581 --> 00:49:12,481
Mmm.

1119
00:49:12,550 --> 00:49:14,518
Oh, what... what the hell
did you think it was about?

1120
00:49:14,585 --> 00:49:16,678
Let's go out with a little style, OK?

1121
00:49:16,754 --> 00:49:17,846
What do you say?

1122
00:49:17,922 --> 00:49:19,549
"Go out"?
What do you mean?

1123
00:49:19,623 --> 00:49:20,715
Just what I said.

1124
00:49:20,791 --> 00:49:22,782
"Go out?" You mean me?

1125
00:49:22,860 --> 00:49:24,293
All of us.

1126
00:49:24,361 --> 00:49:26,295
What the Sam Hill are you
talkin' about, mister?

1127
00:49:26,363 --> 00:49:27,330
- Ohh. Hold on.
- Hey.

1128
00:49:27,398 --> 00:49:29,457
Got some nice egg salad sandwiches
if you're hungry.

1129
00:49:29,533 --> 00:49:30,557
No gunplay backstage.

1130
00:49:30,634 --> 00:49:32,465
I'm hungry.
I'm always hungry.

1131
00:49:32,536 --> 00:49:34,003
Did you know
that she's pregnant?

1132
00:49:34,071 --> 00:49:36,733
And can't be returned

1133
00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:41,301
You have left me
and gone to another

1134
00:49:41,378 --> 00:49:46,042
All my hopes
and bridges are burned

1135
00:49:46,117 --> 00:49:50,952
But I will pawn you
my gold watch and chain, love

1136
00:49:51,021 --> 00:49:56,049
And I will pawn you
my gold wedding ring

1137
00:49:56,127 --> 00:50:00,860
I will pawn you
this heart in my bosom

1138
00:50:00,931 --> 00:50:05,664
Only say that you'll love me again

1139
00:50:05,736 --> 00:50:10,469
Only say that you'll love me again

1140
00:50:10,541 --> 00:50:14,978
Only say that you'll love me again

1141
00:50:15,045 --> 00:50:16,478
Hee hee.

1142
00:50:18,716 --> 00:50:19,580
Thank you, Yolanda.

1143
00:50:19,650 --> 00:50:21,413
What a beautiful, beautiful song.

1144
00:50:21,485 --> 00:50:23,476
This portion of our show
is brought to you...

1145
00:50:23,554 --> 00:50:25,215
by Powdermilk Biscuits...

1146
00:50:25,289 --> 00:50:28,383
and also brought to you by duct tape.

1147
00:50:28,459 --> 00:50:30,086
Duct tape.
Yes, duct tape.

1148
00:50:30,161 --> 00:50:32,459
Duct tape.

1149
00:50:32,530 --> 00:50:34,691
Useful thing around the household...

1150
00:50:34,765 --> 00:50:37,825
almost anything that comes
up around the household.

1151
00:50:37,902 --> 00:50:40,871
Sometimes you need to make repairs,
doors come loose...

1152
00:50:40,938 --> 00:50:43,805
and windows,
all sorts of things can happen.

1153
00:50:43,874 --> 00:50:48,004
Sometimes you just forget something
that you're looking for...

1154
00:50:48,078 --> 00:50:49,875
and duct tape can come in handy.

1155
00:50:49,947 --> 00:50:53,383
You can wrap it around your finger
like a string or something.

1156
00:50:53,450 --> 00:50:54,940
You can just tape it up.
Whatever.

1157
00:50:55,019 --> 00:50:56,509
Things do tend to fall apart, you know.

1158
00:50:56,587 --> 00:51:00,751
Confusion reins endemic
in our world today.

1159
00:51:00,951 --> 00:51:02,709
- Just things tend to drift...
- Oh, jeez.

1160
00:51:02,715 --> 00:51:05,149
And especially as you get to be older...

1161
00:51:05,218 --> 00:51:07,310
duct tape is
the most useful thing you'll find.

1162
00:51:07,386 --> 00:51:09,911
All repairs are short term.
We know that.

1163
00:51:09,988 --> 00:51:14,322
Say a faucet should be dripping
and you, and you...

1164
00:51:15,094 --> 00:51:17,618
The water is falling there,
dripping onto your cupboard...

1165
00:51:17,695 --> 00:51:20,789
and the... and the wood
comes loose from the wall...

1166
00:51:20,865 --> 00:51:22,628
and you need something to fix it.

1167
00:51:22,700 --> 00:51:25,293
Just reach for a roll of duct tape.

1168
00:51:25,368 --> 00:51:27,598
That would be the... the perfect thing.

1169
00:51:27,671 --> 00:51:30,765
Or maybe your orangutano's
been jumpin' up and down on it.

1170
00:51:32,476 --> 00:51:34,875
The weight of the orangutan has,
like, you know, crushed...

1171
00:51:34,944 --> 00:51:36,377
uh, crushed part of the counter.

1172
00:51:36,445 --> 00:51:38,037
<i>And... and then your Rottweiler...</i>

1173
00:51:38,114 --> 00:51:40,674
he comes runnin' out and
he bites the orangutan in the hinder.

1174
00:51:40,749 --> 00:51:42,443
Gets him all riled up.

1175
00:51:43,151 --> 00:51:44,118
Hey.

1176
00:51:44,185 --> 00:51:46,676
<i>The Rottweiler, actually,
is locked in the basement.</i>

1177
00:51:46,754 --> 00:51:47,721
Sorry to correct you there, Rhonda.

1178
00:51:47,789 --> 00:51:48,847
I can hear them goin' at it.

1179
00:51:48,923 --> 00:51:51,186
<i>- He's down locked in the basement.
- The Rottweiler and the orangutan.</i>

1180
00:51:51,258 --> 00:51:52,350
A double lock there.

1181
00:51:52,426 --> 00:51:53,916
Because the...
uh, the orangutan, you know...

1182
00:51:53,994 --> 00:51:56,554
They got, uh, the fingers
and he's got a saw.

1183
00:51:58,265 --> 00:51:59,856
A chainsaw.

1184
00:52:01,100 --> 00:52:03,534
<i>He cut a big hole in the door
and the Rottweiler got out.</i>

1185
00:52:03,603 --> 00:52:06,231
That's how he bit the orangutan
in the hinder.

1186
00:52:08,407 --> 00:52:10,738
And then... and then
don't forget about the peacock.

1187
00:52:12,777 --> 00:52:14,768
And then the flock.
Uh, overhead there was...

1188
00:52:14,846 --> 00:52:16,746
a big helicopter
came flyin' through.

1189
00:52:18,782 --> 00:52:20,841
Right through a flock
of Canadian geese.

1190
00:52:22,586 --> 00:52:25,646
And, uh, really was gettin'
someone's goose was cooked.

1191
00:52:25,723 --> 00:52:26,780
And then they startled the peacock.

1192
00:52:28,591 --> 00:52:29,683
Yeah! Then...

1193
00:52:29,759 --> 00:52:30,851
And then this... this sick...

1194
00:52:30,927 --> 00:52:32,019
- The peacock.
- No, wait.

1195
00:52:32,095 --> 00:52:35,962
This sadist... this sadist in uh, sneakers
was creepin' up on everybody.

1196
00:52:36,031 --> 00:52:40,229
And the peacock, he... uh...
he jumps right at the orangutan.

1197
00:52:40,302 --> 00:52:42,532
His beak...

1198
00:52:42,604 --> 00:52:46,505
yeah... is flashing like a scimitar.

1199
00:52:46,574 --> 00:52:50,738
Yeah, but the, uh, but his aim is...
uh, goes awry and it... and then, um...

1200
00:52:50,811 --> 00:52:52,039
He takes that chainsaw and he throws it.

1201
00:52:52,113 --> 00:52:54,512
The orangutan throws it
at the peacock.

1202
00:52:54,581 --> 00:52:55,946
But he's got a bad aim.
The aim.

1203
00:52:56,016 --> 00:52:58,576
It goes right through a plate-glass window.

1204
00:52:58,652 --> 00:52:59,744
But it almost...

1205
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:02,810
Yeah... hits the mailman.

1206
00:53:02,888 --> 00:53:03,980
Wow! Oh!

1207
00:53:04,056 --> 00:53:07,583
Murray. But doesn't.
It misses him by inches.

1208
00:53:07,660 --> 00:53:12,824
And by the way, he's bringin' you a letter
from your ex-girlfriend. Remember her?

1209
00:53:12,897 --> 00:53:16,298
Who is still furious at you
for having dumped her.

1210
00:53:16,367 --> 00:53:20,700
You know, just thrown her aside,
the woman who loved you.

1211
00:53:20,771 --> 00:53:22,033
Just because
you found somebody new.

1212
00:53:22,105 --> 00:53:23,766
How could you do that?

1213
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:27,536
She will never understand.
And, um...

1214
00:53:27,610 --> 00:53:30,272
duct tape isn't gonna
help you with that one bit.

1215
00:53:30,346 --> 00:53:31,540
No, I suppose not, but with two out of...

1216
00:53:31,614 --> 00:53:33,809
And duct tape is not gonna make
an honest man out of you.

1217
00:53:34,984 --> 00:53:38,714
No, it won't. But with two out of three
chores around the home, duct tape.

1218
00:53:38,787 --> 00:53:40,618
And it isn't even gonna help you
find whatever it was...

1219
00:53:40,689 --> 00:53:43,283
you were lookin' for, so...
what were you lookin' for?

1220
00:53:43,358 --> 00:53:44,848
I was lookin' for duct tape.
Duct tape.

1221
00:53:44,926 --> 00:53:46,859
All repairs are temporary and short term.

1222
00:53:46,927 --> 00:53:48,053
It's almost just about the only thing...

1223
00:53:48,128 --> 00:53:51,757
that really works sometimes,
and that is duct tape.

1224
00:53:51,832 --> 00:53:54,197
<i>More of A Prairie Home Companion
here in just a moment...</i>

1225
00:53:54,334 --> 00:53:57,735
right after we come in
with a word about coffee.

1226
00:53:57,804 --> 00:54:01,535
Yes, Jearlyn,
nothing stimulates a person...

1227
00:54:01,608 --> 00:54:06,544
keeps you focused quite
like good old caffeine.

1228
00:54:06,612 --> 00:54:07,704
Black coffee.

1229
00:54:07,779 --> 00:54:11,271
Mmm. So good.
I'm glad you like it, too.

1230
00:54:13,251 --> 00:54:15,082
Smells so lovely when you pour it

1231
00:54:15,152 --> 00:54:18,451
You will want to drink a quart of coffee

1232
00:54:20,523 --> 00:54:22,081
It's delicious all alone

1233
00:54:22,158 --> 00:54:24,285
It's also good with doughnuts

1234
00:54:24,361 --> 00:54:25,851
Black coffee

1235
00:54:27,731 --> 00:54:29,664
Coffee stimulates your urges

1236
00:54:29,732 --> 00:54:31,256
It's served in Lutheran churches

1237
00:54:31,333 --> 00:54:33,324
Keeps the Swedes and the Germans

1238
00:54:33,402 --> 00:54:35,267
Awake through the sermons

1239
00:54:35,337 --> 00:54:36,964
Have a pot of it today

1240
00:54:37,039 --> 00:54:40,166
I'm sure you'll say
it's awfully good coffee

1241
00:54:46,780 --> 00:54:49,510
Chuck?
I'm ready for you now.

1242
00:54:51,585 --> 00:54:52,677
Chuck?

1243
00:54:52,753 --> 00:54:54,550
Much too long

1244
00:54:54,621 --> 00:54:57,316
Hey, you decent? Chuck?

1245
00:54:59,725 --> 00:55:01,454
Whoa!

1246
00:55:01,527 --> 00:55:04,723
Chuck, what you got
goin' in here, huh?

1247
00:55:04,796 --> 00:55:06,195
Huh!

1248
00:55:06,264 --> 00:55:08,698
Candles and music and...

1249
00:55:08,767 --> 00:55:12,100
Hey, hey, wake up, buddy.

1250
00:55:12,170 --> 00:55:13,295
Hey... Chu...

1251
00:55:14,371 --> 00:55:15,702
Chuck?

1252
00:55:16,073 --> 00:55:19,531
Oh, my Lord does just what he said

1253
00:55:19,576 --> 00:55:23,568
Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me

1254
00:55:23,646 --> 00:55:27,582
He healed the sick
and He raised the dead

1255
00:55:27,650 --> 00:55:32,052
Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me

1256
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:33,644
Shine on

1257
00:55:33,722 --> 00:55:35,713
Let it shine on

1258
00:55:35,791 --> 00:55:40,489
Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me

1259
00:55:44,865 --> 00:55:48,095
From the lighthouse shine on me

1260
00:55:51,938 --> 00:55:56,204
Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me

1261
00:55:56,276 --> 00:55:59,904
Oh, this whole world's
gonna reel and rock

1262
00:55:59,978 --> 00:56:04,244
Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me

1263
00:56:05,616 --> 00:56:07,584
Honey? It's me.

1264
00:56:09,153 --> 00:56:12,520
Ready or not, here I come.

1265
00:56:12,590 --> 00:56:18,755
I am lookin' for a big hot dog
to put in my bun, you old dog, you.

1266
00:56:18,829 --> 00:56:21,889
Why you hidin' from me?

1267
00:56:21,965 --> 00:56:24,432
Wake up.
Wake up, sugar.

1268
00:56:31,140 --> 00:56:33,198
Oh!

1269
00:56:33,274 --> 00:56:34,400
Chuck?

1270
00:56:38,380 --> 00:56:40,609
Chuck! Chuck!

1271
00:56:40,681 --> 00:56:43,650
It's OK.
It's OK. It's OK.

1272
00:56:44,685 --> 00:56:47,051
But how can he be dead?

1273
00:56:47,121 --> 00:56:48,816
He just went away, that's all.

1274
00:56:48,889 --> 00:56:52,153
Oh, my Chuck.

1275
00:56:52,225 --> 00:56:53,715
My baby.

1276
00:56:53,793 --> 00:56:56,626
The death of an old man
is not a tragedy.

1277
00:56:56,696 --> 00:56:58,560
Oh...

1278
00:56:58,630 --> 00:57:00,723
I don't want him to go.

1279
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:06,635
Forgive him his shortcomings
and thank him for all of his love and care.

1280
00:57:06,705 --> 00:57:09,332
Shine on

1281
00:57:09,407 --> 00:57:11,341
Let it shine on

1282
00:57:11,409 --> 00:57:15,539
Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me

1283
00:57:15,612 --> 00:57:17,307
Good-bye, baby.

1284
00:57:17,380 --> 00:57:19,245
Let it shine on

1285
00:57:19,315 --> 00:57:22,079
Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me

1286
00:57:22,152 --> 00:57:23,551
Ohh! Ooh!

1287
00:57:23,620 --> 00:57:25,177
Shine

1288
00:57:25,254 --> 00:57:27,188
Let it shine

1289
00:57:27,256 --> 00:57:30,851
Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me

1290
00:57:30,926 --> 00:57:33,120
Shine

1291
00:57:33,194 --> 00:57:35,094
Let it shine

1292
00:57:35,163 --> 00:57:38,462
Let the light
from the lighthouse

1293
00:57:38,533 --> 00:57:44,334
Shine on

1294
00:57:44,404 --> 00:57:49,706
Me

1295
00:57:53,779 --> 00:57:54,871
Thank you so much.

1296
00:57:54,947 --> 00:57:57,142
Time to break now
for station identification.

1297
00:57:57,216 --> 00:58:00,343
And we'll right back
with more right after this.

1298
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:13,391
Ladies and gentlemen, we are now
at nine minutes to broadcast, please.

1299
00:58:13,464 --> 00:58:14,556
Nine minutes.

1300
00:58:15,799 --> 00:58:17,925
Hey. No smokin', mister.

1301
00:58:19,635 --> 00:58:22,934
Chuck Akers is dead.
He's gone.

1302
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:27,998
I don't follow your reasoning there.

1303
00:58:28,076 --> 00:58:30,271
I said Chuck is dead.

1304
00:58:31,947 --> 00:58:33,278
Who's dead?

1305
00:58:33,348 --> 00:58:34,644
Chuck.

1306
00:58:36,584 --> 00:58:37,710
When?

1307
00:58:37,785 --> 00:58:39,480
Now.

1308
00:58:39,553 --> 00:58:41,180
He just died now?

1309
00:58:41,255 --> 00:58:42,745
I don't know when the hell he died.

1310
00:58:42,823 --> 00:58:45,313
I wasn't there.

1311
00:58:45,391 --> 00:58:47,416
What was the approximate
time of death?

1312
00:58:47,494 --> 00:58:50,088
Recent. Why don't you go
check it out for yourself.

1313
00:58:50,163 --> 00:58:51,460
He's in there.

1314
00:58:52,865 --> 00:58:55,527
Does anyone else know about this?

1315
00:58:55,601 --> 00:58:57,432
I have no idea.

1316
00:58:57,503 --> 00:58:59,528
Because if anyone else knows about this
and they're not saying anything...

1317
00:58:59,605 --> 00:59:00,765
I need to know about that.

1318
00:59:08,379 --> 00:59:09,505
Excuse me.

1319
00:59:17,554 --> 00:59:19,180
I used to listen to your show...

1320
00:59:21,056 --> 00:59:22,683
until I died.

1321
00:59:25,060 --> 00:59:27,028
My name was Lois Peterson.

1322
00:59:30,198 --> 00:59:32,063
I was driving up to this cabin up north...

1323
00:59:32,133 --> 00:59:35,796
and you were telling a story
and I was laughing.

1324
00:59:37,437 --> 00:59:41,305
And then the car skidded off the road
and into a ditch and it flipped.

1325
00:59:41,375 --> 00:59:44,469
And as it did, the thought occurred to me...

1326
00:59:44,545 --> 00:59:48,640
that the story just wasn't that funny.

1327
00:59:51,584 --> 00:59:53,551
And then...

1328
00:59:53,618 --> 01:00:00,751
I was standing in this tall grass
looking down at my own body.

1329
01:00:00,825 --> 01:00:01,917
Hmm.

1330
01:00:01,993 --> 01:00:03,789
So sorry.

1331
01:00:05,763 --> 01:00:09,255
I was on my way to that cabin
to meet my lover Larry.

1332
01:00:09,333 --> 01:00:14,235
We had been planning it
for over two months.

1333
01:00:15,338 --> 01:00:21,970
And because of your story,
I lost control and I died.

1334
01:00:22,044 --> 01:00:24,171
- So...
- I'm so sorry.

1335
01:00:24,246 --> 01:00:26,908
So you killed me, in a way.

1336
01:00:26,982 --> 01:00:28,415
Isn't that interesting?

1337
01:00:29,617 --> 01:00:32,780
He's quite dead.

1338
01:00:32,853 --> 01:00:34,286
Just a half an hour ago
he was walkin' around...

1339
01:00:34,355 --> 01:00:37,290
exchangin' the gases
with the atmosphere.

1340
01:00:37,358 --> 01:00:39,222
Well, there's a lot more
out than in now.

1341
01:00:39,292 --> 01:00:40,657
We should call the cops.

1342
01:00:40,727 --> 01:00:41,819
No.

1343
01:00:41,895 --> 01:00:44,625
When the time is right,
I'll make the call.

1344
01:00:44,698 --> 01:00:45,790
You... just, um...

1345
01:00:45,865 --> 01:00:48,560
All right. We're at five minutes
from broadcast.

1346
01:00:48,634 --> 01:00:50,067
Don't talk about this to anyone.
All right?

1347
01:00:50,135 --> 01:00:51,932
Keep it under your hat.

1348
01:00:52,004 --> 01:00:53,096
Go about your business.

1349
01:00:57,475 --> 01:00:59,067
I'm gonna secure the area.

1350
01:00:59,143 --> 01:01:01,338
Let's get on with the show.

1351
01:01:01,412 --> 01:01:03,607
You gonna be all right?

1352
01:01:03,681 --> 01:01:04,977
Yeah, I'll be all right.

1353
01:01:08,919 --> 01:01:10,853
So you're really an angel?

1354
01:01:10,921 --> 01:01:12,354
Of course.

1355
01:01:12,422 --> 01:01:14,013
Hmm.

1356
01:01:14,090 --> 01:01:15,557
What do you do?

1357
01:01:15,625 --> 01:01:16,717
Well, that's a dumb question.

1358
01:01:16,792 --> 01:01:18,851
No, no. L... uh, I do lots of things.

1359
01:01:18,928 --> 01:01:23,455
I comfort people that are desperately sad.

1360
01:01:23,531 --> 01:01:25,931
And I make personal appearances.

1361
01:01:26,001 --> 01:01:28,231
L...

1362
01:01:28,303 --> 01:01:30,862
Tears on a statue.

1363
01:01:30,938 --> 01:01:35,341
One time I put the face of the Lord
on a bowl of oatmeal.

1364
01:01:35,409 --> 01:01:36,603
Just to cheer people up.

1365
01:01:36,677 --> 01:01:39,406
You know, those kind of things.

1366
01:01:39,479 --> 01:01:42,778
But mostly l... I take people up to see God.

1367
01:01:42,849 --> 01:01:44,373
That's why I'm here.

1368
01:01:44,450 --> 01:01:49,113
But I-I just keep thinking
about that story...

1369
01:01:49,187 --> 01:01:52,953
and why it was funny.

1370
01:01:53,025 --> 01:01:55,016
The story I told on the radio?

1371
01:01:55,093 --> 01:01:56,855
It was about penguins.

1372
01:01:56,927 --> 01:01:58,724
Oh. The penguin joke.

1373
01:02:00,865 --> 01:02:03,026
Two penguins standing on an ice floe.

1374
01:02:03,100 --> 01:02:04,192
That's the one.

1375
01:02:04,268 --> 01:02:06,394
And the first penguin says...

1376
01:02:06,469 --> 01:02:08,733
"You look like
you're wearing a tuxedo."

1377
01:02:10,106 --> 01:02:11,733
And the second penguin says...

1378
01:02:11,808 --> 01:02:13,435
"What makes you think I'm not?"

1379
01:02:17,012 --> 01:02:18,604
- Is there more?
- No.

1380
01:02:18,681 --> 01:02:19,978
- That's the joke?
- Mm-hmm.

1381
01:02:20,049 --> 01:02:21,277
Why is that funny?

1382
01:02:22,518 --> 01:02:24,849
I guess it's funny
because people laugh at it.

1383
01:02:24,919 --> 01:02:28,320
I'm not laughing.

1384
01:02:28,389 --> 01:02:33,655
You're an angel.

1385
01:02:33,727 --> 01:02:36,252
G.K. To the stage, please.
G.K. To the stage, please.

1386
01:02:36,329 --> 01:02:37,421
I should probably go.

1387
01:02:37,497 --> 01:02:40,294
Oh yes, of course.
I didn't come for you.

1388
01:02:40,366 --> 01:02:43,426
Oh. OK. All right.

1389
01:02:43,502 --> 01:02:44,594
I think they're waiting for me.

1390
01:02:44,670 --> 01:02:48,401
Oh... what did the second penguin say?

1391
01:02:48,474 --> 01:02:53,911
The second penguin said,
"What makes you think I'm not?" OK?

1392
01:02:53,978 --> 01:02:55,775
- OK.
- All right. See you.

1393
01:02:57,248 --> 01:02:58,874
Take your time.

1394
01:02:58,949 --> 01:03:01,076
Thanks.

1395
01:03:01,151 --> 01:03:05,417
Two minutes from broadcast.
Two minutes, please.

1396
01:03:05,489 --> 01:03:07,513
Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.

1397
01:03:07,590 --> 01:03:08,682
Could I have a word with you?

1398
01:03:09,992 --> 01:03:14,326
Uh, we have a situation here,
um, which we are monitoring...

1399
01:03:14,397 --> 01:03:16,830
but I wanted you to be apprised of it.

1400
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,231
You mean the woman
in the white trench coat?

1401
01:03:20,302 --> 01:03:21,963
No, there's a woman in a w...

1402
01:03:22,037 --> 01:03:24,095
a white trench coat, yes.
You saw her?

1403
01:03:24,171 --> 01:03:26,105
- I saw her over here.
- You spoke to her?

1404
01:03:26,173 --> 01:03:27,731
You... no, you were talking to her.

1405
01:03:27,808 --> 01:03:28,900
You saw that?

1406
01:03:28,976 --> 01:03:30,443
Yeah. You.

1407
01:03:30,511 --> 01:03:33,570
Well, if you see her in the audience,
I need you to give me a high sign.

1408
01:03:33,646 --> 01:03:35,580
Just use... give me a signal
with your hand.

1409
01:03:35,648 --> 01:03:37,878
Do, uh...

1410
01:03:37,951 --> 01:03:39,043
No. Here, do it behind your back.

1411
01:03:39,119 --> 01:03:41,485
- Just... just... just wiggle.
- Rabbit tail?

1412
01:03:41,554 --> 01:03:45,284
Yeah, and give me a verbal, uh, sign,
some... something in code.

1413
01:03:45,357 --> 01:03:46,847
Just say, uh, indemnity.

1414
01:03:46,925 --> 01:03:48,187
- Indemnity. Yeah.
- OK.

1415
01:03:48,260 --> 01:03:50,285
Or no. Granite Falls.

1416
01:03:50,362 --> 01:03:52,261
OK. How does that...

1417
01:03:52,330 --> 01:03:53,695
How does that go?
Granite Falls?

1418
01:03:53,765 --> 01:03:55,756
Well, you just say, uh,
then we would like to do a song now...

1419
01:03:55,833 --> 01:03:58,301
for our dear friends in...

1420
01:03:58,369 --> 01:03:59,460
Granite Falls.

1421
01:03:59,536 --> 01:04:00,764
OK. All right. OK.

1422
01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:04,773
And then if I miss that,
uh, this'll be a cue for Rich...

1423
01:04:04,841 --> 01:04:07,241
to do a-a musical turn.

1424
01:04:11,113 --> 01:04:12,910
- That's the code.
- Code?

1425
01:04:12,982 --> 01:04:14,882
Then I'll get it. OK?

1426
01:04:14,950 --> 01:04:17,110
That's how I got into radio, actually.

1427
01:04:17,185 --> 01:04:18,152
Morse code.

1428
01:04:18,219 --> 01:04:21,052
I was a deckhand on a... on a boat.

1429
01:04:21,122 --> 01:04:22,783
Big storm. November.

1430
01:04:22,857 --> 01:04:24,222
I'll never forget it.

1431
01:04:24,292 --> 01:04:25,452
You got on the ship radio...

1432
01:04:25,526 --> 01:04:27,994
and you told jokes
and you sang for two hours...

1433
01:04:28,061 --> 01:04:29,085
until the ship came in safely to port.

1434
01:04:29,163 --> 01:04:31,427
Right.
I told you that story?

1435
01:04:31,498 --> 01:04:32,465
Granite Falls.

1436
01:04:32,533 --> 01:04:33,659
- G.K.?
- Granite Falls. Right.

1437
01:04:33,734 --> 01:04:34,791
Yeah?

1438
01:04:34,867 --> 01:04:37,597
- If you see G.K. Do that behind his back...
- Fifteen seconds.

1439
01:04:37,670 --> 01:04:38,637
It's your cue to go like this.

1440
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:42,808
So what are you gonna do
for work after this?

1441
01:04:42,875 --> 01:04:44,398
I don't know.
I'll find a job somewhere.

1442
01:04:45,544 --> 01:04:46,909
Like where?

1443
01:04:46,978 --> 01:04:50,311
A job where I never have to say a word.

1444
01:04:50,382 --> 01:04:51,576
Why?

1445
01:04:51,650 --> 01:04:53,810
That's why. Right there.

1446
01:04:53,884 --> 01:04:54,851
What are you gonna do?

1447
01:04:54,919 --> 01:04:56,477
Like be an underwear model
or something?

1448
01:04:56,554 --> 01:04:57,714
If they ask, sure.

1449
01:04:57,788 --> 01:04:59,722
- You're on.
- Yes.

1450
01:05:03,126 --> 01:05:05,651
<i>And we're back with more of
A Prairie Home Companion...</i>

1451
01:05:05,728 --> 01:05:09,993
brought to you by the Federation
of Associated Organizations.

1452
01:05:10,065 --> 01:05:13,592
Somewhere there's an organization
just for you.

1453
01:05:13,669 --> 01:05:14,829
And brought to you by Fred Farrell...

1454
01:05:14,903 --> 01:05:16,165
the name you've gradually come
to trust...

1455
01:05:16,238 --> 01:05:18,831
when it comes
to animal nuisance control.

1456
01:05:18,906 --> 01:05:20,168
The Johnson Girls coming up...

1457
01:05:20,241 --> 01:05:23,506
and the old trail hands,
Dusty and Lefty are with us...

1458
01:05:23,578 --> 01:05:25,011
and our good friend Jearlyn Steele.

1459
01:05:25,079 --> 01:05:26,512
Jearlyn.

1460
01:05:36,989 --> 01:05:41,187
The day is short

1461
01:05:41,260 --> 01:05:47,528
The night is long

1462
01:05:47,599 --> 01:05:52,366
Why do we work so hard

1463
01:05:52,437 --> 01:05:58,238
To get what we don't even want?

1464
01:05:58,308 --> 01:06:00,242
We work so hard

1465
01:06:00,310 --> 01:06:01,607
To get ahead of the game

1466
01:06:01,678 --> 01:06:03,144
It's time for me to go.

1467
01:06:07,450 --> 01:06:09,543
Oh.

1468
01:06:09,619 --> 01:06:12,052
I am the angel Asphodel.

1469
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:15,112
I come here to do my work
and bring mercy into the world...

1470
01:06:15,190 --> 01:06:18,648
and praise His holy name.

1471
01:06:18,727 --> 01:06:20,956
OK. That's fine with me.

1472
01:06:21,028 --> 01:06:22,893
You wanna be an angel?

1473
01:06:22,963 --> 01:06:24,396
I say you...

1474
01:06:24,465 --> 01:06:25,762
you be an angel.

1475
01:06:25,833 --> 01:06:27,892
You're angelic enough for me.

1476
01:06:29,969 --> 01:06:31,766
I say spread your wings and fly.

1477
01:06:33,172 --> 01:06:34,764
This is a revelation.

1478
01:06:36,643 --> 01:06:38,735
For the both of us.

1479
01:06:38,810 --> 01:06:41,142
Listen, if you're an angel, I, uh...

1480
01:06:41,213 --> 01:06:42,578
I wonder if...

1481
01:06:42,648 --> 01:06:45,378
you and me were to, uh...

1482
01:06:45,450 --> 01:06:47,508
you know.

1483
01:06:47,585 --> 01:06:48,813
Would you...

1484
01:06:48,886 --> 01:06:50,148
feel anything?

1485
01:06:52,290 --> 01:06:54,224
I would feel love.

1486
01:06:58,094 --> 01:07:01,257
And Daddy's on the way

1487
01:07:01,331 --> 01:07:05,460
The day is short

1488
01:07:05,534 --> 01:07:12,098
The night is long

1489
01:07:12,174 --> 01:07:16,940
Why do you work so hard

1490
01:07:17,011 --> 01:07:20,879
To get what you don't even want?

1491
01:07:37,697 --> 01:07:39,129
You can wait here.
This won't take long.

1492
01:07:44,102 --> 01:07:48,094
The day is short

1493
01:07:48,172 --> 01:07:50,106
- Do you have a ticket?
- I'm with the company.

1494
01:07:50,174 --> 01:07:55,134
The night is long

1495
01:07:55,212 --> 01:08:02,310
Why do you work so hard

1496
01:08:03,419 --> 01:08:04,942
To get

1497
01:08:05,020 --> 01:08:08,979
What you don't even

1498
01:08:09,057 --> 01:08:14,824
Want?

1499
01:08:18,065 --> 01:08:19,032
You got a problem with horses?

1500
01:08:19,066 --> 01:08:21,933
No, no, no. Just... please behave.
That's all I'm askin'.

1501
01:08:22,003 --> 01:08:25,165
Al, Al. There's somethin' wrong
with this bulb.

1502
01:08:25,238 --> 01:08:26,227
No, no.
It's supposed to blink.

1503
01:08:26,306 --> 01:08:27,739
That's my... so it doesn't ring.

1504
01:08:27,807 --> 01:08:29,274
That's my phone. Excuse me.

1505
01:08:29,342 --> 01:08:30,309
Yeah?

1506
01:08:31,510 --> 01:08:32,977
He's here?

1507
01:08:33,045 --> 01:08:35,309
OK. Thanks.

1508
01:08:35,381 --> 01:08:37,440
The, uh, axeman is here.

1509
01:08:37,516 --> 01:08:38,505
I'll take care of it.

1510
01:08:38,584 --> 01:08:40,517
All right.

1511
01:08:40,585 --> 01:08:42,143
Molly?

1512
01:08:42,220 --> 01:08:45,189
Anybody seen Molly?

1513
01:08:45,256 --> 01:08:49,055
And he is awful happy that I'm here

1514
01:08:49,126 --> 01:08:52,425
And that we have New Munich Beer

1515
01:08:52,496 --> 01:08:54,191
Have a glass and tell a joke

1516
01:08:54,264 --> 01:08:56,129
About a guy who danced the polka

1517
01:08:56,199 --> 01:08:58,792
And remember that
the party has to end

1518
01:08:58,868 --> 01:09:00,096
My friend

1519
01:09:00,169 --> 01:09:02,194
<i>Adieu, adieu, kind friends, adieu</i>

1520
01:09:02,271 --> 01:09:03,932
<i>Adieu, adieu</i>

1521
01:09:04,006 --> 01:09:05,940
But first, let's have another brew

1522
01:09:06,008 --> 01:09:06,974
Maybe two

1523
01:09:07,042 --> 01:09:08,031
Mr. Crust?

1524
01:09:08,109 --> 01:09:10,339
Cruett! I don't believe we've met.

1525
01:09:10,412 --> 01:09:11,504
Guy Noir.

1526
01:09:11,579 --> 01:09:15,412
Vice-president, Security
and, uh, Data Acquisition.

1527
01:09:15,482 --> 01:09:17,416
Good for you.
Show almost over?

1528
01:09:17,484 --> 01:09:18,712
Almost. Yes.

1529
01:09:18,786 --> 01:09:20,117
Just in time then.

1530
01:09:20,187 --> 01:09:21,381
The show's been going on how long?

1531
01:09:21,455 --> 01:09:22,979
Somebody said fifty years.

1532
01:09:23,057 --> 01:09:26,116
N-nearly. Uh, thirty... something.

1533
01:09:26,192 --> 01:09:28,057
Weird. It's like a time warp.

1534
01:09:28,127 --> 01:09:29,458
I feel like an anthropologist...

1535
01:09:29,529 --> 01:09:33,089
finding some primitive tribe
squatting around a fire in the forest...

1536
01:09:33,165 --> 01:09:35,497
telling stories,
sparks flying up in the air.

1537
01:09:35,567 --> 01:09:36,795
Yeah. Heh heh.

1538
01:09:36,868 --> 01:09:39,928
Well, we've got the, uh, luxury box
for you, right here.

1539
01:09:41,505 --> 01:09:42,631
Right this way.

1540
01:09:45,810 --> 01:09:47,971
Who's that guy?

1541
01:09:48,045 --> 01:09:51,343
Oh, that's the guy, uh,
used to come see the shows here.

1542
01:09:51,414 --> 01:09:53,746
Um, local boy.
He's a writer.

1543
01:09:53,817 --> 01:09:55,785
Uh, he wrote novels.

1544
01:09:55,852 --> 01:09:57,012
Uh, F. Scott Fitzgerald.

1545
01:09:57,087 --> 01:09:58,384
Grew up right here in St. Paul.

1546
01:09:58,455 --> 01:09:59,478
What kind of novels?

1547
01:10:00,522 --> 01:10:02,046
Uh, romantic ones.

1548
01:10:02,124 --> 01:10:03,091
- Oh.
- Mostly.

1549
01:10:03,158 --> 01:10:04,716
I don't read romances. No time.

1550
01:10:04,793 --> 01:10:07,489
Hmm. We usually have,
uh, clients in here.

1551
01:10:07,563 --> 01:10:09,427
You know, five or six of them
at a time, sponsors...

1552
01:10:09,497 --> 01:10:11,761
That's some nice plaster work
around the proscenium there.

1553
01:10:11,833 --> 01:10:13,266
We'll have to remember
to save a piece of that.

1554
01:10:13,334 --> 01:10:14,995
I wish we were taping this show.

1555
01:10:15,069 --> 01:10:16,968
This is a live show.

1556
01:10:17,037 --> 01:10:18,971
Videotape.
Historical purposes.

1557
01:10:19,039 --> 01:10:20,597
Send it to a museum.

1558
01:10:20,674 --> 01:10:22,107
Well, this is just great.
This is all I need.

1559
01:10:22,175 --> 01:10:24,268
This is the first time
somebody died at the show.

1560
01:10:24,344 --> 01:10:26,436
- I mean, the first time!
- Al, we're all gettin' older.

1561
01:10:26,512 --> 01:10:27,479
He's dead?!

1562
01:10:27,546 --> 01:10:28,877
The show's not over, is it?

1563
01:10:28,948 --> 01:10:31,007
We've got a dead man downstairs.

1564
01:10:31,083 --> 01:10:32,175
We've gotta do something.

1565
01:10:32,251 --> 01:10:33,946
Just be glad... glad you
don't have him onstage.

1566
01:10:34,019 --> 01:10:35,952
- When did this happen?
- Who's that, Chuck?

1567
01:10:36,020 --> 01:10:37,351
- Yes.
- Where's Evelyn?

1568
01:10:37,422 --> 01:10:38,446
Evelyn was down there.

1569
01:10:38,523 --> 01:10:40,889
He was waitin' for Evelyn
when he passed away.

1570
01:10:40,959 --> 01:10:43,256
He died with a heart full of hope.

1571
01:10:43,327 --> 01:10:45,921
Yeah, that's not a bad way to go
when you think about it.

1572
01:10:45,996 --> 01:10:48,590
Sittin' there in the dark,
in your underwear, you know?

1573
01:10:48,665 --> 01:10:50,064
Waitin' for your lover to come.

1574
01:10:50,134 --> 01:10:51,691
He was in his underwear?

1575
01:10:51,767 --> 01:10:55,134
Donna told me he was wearin'
boxer shorts with big raspberries on 'em...

1576
01:10:55,204 --> 01:10:58,469
and a great big bottle of massage oil
and a bayberry candle goin'...

1577
01:10:58,541 --> 01:11:00,599
<i>and Mills Brothers' Greatest Hits.</i>

1578
01:11:00,675 --> 01:11:03,337
He was all set.
He was loaded for Evelyn.

1579
01:11:03,411 --> 01:11:05,641
Well, uh, can I offer you
somethin' to drink?

1580
01:11:05,714 --> 01:11:07,181
Water. No ice. No lemon.

1581
01:11:09,450 --> 01:11:11,145
Water. No ice. No lemon.

1582
01:11:11,218 --> 01:11:12,651
Straight up. Neat.

1583
01:11:14,221 --> 01:11:17,748
Radio sound effects
learned from a master.

1584
01:11:17,825 --> 01:11:19,223
What can I tell you about the show?

1585
01:11:19,292 --> 01:11:21,157
I know everything I need
to know about the show.

1586
01:11:22,295 --> 01:11:24,229
- You're sure about that?
- Yes.

1587
01:11:24,297 --> 01:11:25,628
You're not gonna change your mind?

1588
01:11:25,698 --> 01:11:27,062
Ahh! No.

1589
01:11:27,132 --> 01:11:28,258
Hmm.

1590
01:11:28,333 --> 01:11:30,164
Lot of good people up there.

1591
01:11:30,235 --> 01:11:31,293
On the stage.

1592
01:11:31,370 --> 01:11:32,337
Lot of 'em.

1593
01:11:33,672 --> 01:11:35,969
I mean, I'm a man
of the world like yourself...

1594
01:11:36,040 --> 01:11:37,564
but, uh, these folks
put their lives into this.

1595
01:11:37,642 --> 01:11:39,735
Now they can put their lives
into something else.

1596
01:11:39,810 --> 01:11:41,539
There's always something
to put your life into, isn't there?

1597
01:11:41,612 --> 01:11:43,011
It's like the Scripture tells us...

1598
01:11:43,080 --> 01:11:45,013
you have to lose your life
before you can...

1599
01:11:45,081 --> 01:11:46,207
find it.

1600
01:11:47,250 --> 01:11:49,514
Scripture is guiding you here?

1601
01:11:49,586 --> 01:11:51,918
The company is owned
by people of faith, Mr. Noir.

1602
01:11:53,422 --> 01:11:57,483
Ahh. Before I came to the Lord,
I played in a band myself.

1603
01:11:57,560 --> 01:11:59,528
The Dukes of Rhythm.
Ha ha.

1604
01:11:59,595 --> 01:12:01,460
We were terrible.

1605
01:12:01,530 --> 01:12:04,794
Then, thank God, we were saved by
the simple realization of the truth.

1606
01:12:04,933 --> 01:12:06,525
We were no good.
We got fired.

1607
01:12:06,601 --> 01:12:08,398
It was a blessing.

1608
01:12:08,469 --> 01:12:09,436
You wanna say something?

1609
01:12:09,504 --> 01:12:10,970
Say what?
No, I don't want to say...

1610
01:12:11,038 --> 01:12:12,005
You know, you should say somethin'...

1611
01:12:12,072 --> 01:12:14,097
'cause he was on the show
all these years.

1612
01:12:14,174 --> 01:12:15,141
Absolutely.

1613
01:12:15,209 --> 01:12:17,143
I don't do eulogies. I don't.

1614
01:12:17,211 --> 01:12:19,371
Is there a reason for that?
Or you just don't care for people?

1615
01:12:19,445 --> 01:12:21,037
I'm at an age where
if I started to do them...

1616
01:12:21,113 --> 01:12:22,842
I'd do nothing but eulogies.

1617
01:12:22,915 --> 01:12:24,542
How about just
a moment of silence?

1618
01:12:24,617 --> 01:12:27,108
Silence on the radio?
I don't know how that works.

1619
01:12:27,186 --> 01:12:28,550
Garrison, OK, thank you.

1620
01:12:28,620 --> 01:12:29,917
OK, we've got about thirty seconds.
Thirty seconds.

1621
01:12:29,988 --> 01:12:31,717
Hold on a second.
You're saying if my mom died...

1622
01:12:31,790 --> 01:12:33,724
you wouldn't do anything,
you wouldn't say anything.

1623
01:12:33,792 --> 01:12:34,759
If I what?

1624
01:12:34,826 --> 01:12:37,419
You'd just ignore it,
you'd act like it never happened?

1625
01:12:37,494 --> 01:12:38,461
How could you do that?

1626
01:12:38,529 --> 01:12:39,757
We don't look back in radio.

1627
01:12:39,830 --> 01:12:41,024
That's the beauty of it.

1628
01:12:41,098 --> 01:12:42,793
Nobody gets old.
Nobody dies.

1629
01:12:42,866 --> 01:12:44,493
We just keep on goin'.

1630
01:12:44,568 --> 01:12:45,535
What if you died?

1631
01:12:45,603 --> 01:12:46,967
I will.

1632
01:12:47,036 --> 01:12:48,401
You don't want people
to remember you?

1633
01:12:48,471 --> 01:12:51,269
I don't want them to be told
to remember me.

1634
01:12:51,341 --> 01:12:53,400
Hmm?

1635
01:12:53,476 --> 01:12:55,500
You know what?
Somebody died down there.

1636
01:12:55,577 --> 01:12:56,566
That's right.

1637
01:12:56,645 --> 01:12:57,942
OK? And we're not
even paying attention...

1638
01:12:58,013 --> 01:12:59,412
and you're not even
gonna say anything?

1639
01:12:59,481 --> 01:13:00,948
We pay attention by doin' our job.

1640
01:13:01,016 --> 01:13:03,540
Go, go, go.
You're on, you're on, you're on.

1641
01:13:03,618 --> 01:13:05,483
I gotta get someone
to take me home.

1642
01:13:05,553 --> 01:13:07,384
I'm not spendin' the night
alone tonight.

1643
01:13:07,455 --> 01:13:09,548
Don't... nobody even cares.

1644
01:13:09,624 --> 01:13:11,421
No, we do.
We all care.

1645
01:13:11,492 --> 01:13:12,890
We care like hell.

1646
01:13:12,959 --> 01:13:13,926
You're gonna want to have...

1647
01:13:13,994 --> 01:13:16,428
a whole freezer full
of Prince of Pizzas.

1648
01:13:16,496 --> 01:13:20,091
It's the frozen pizza that
tastes homemade always.

1649
01:13:20,166 --> 01:13:24,158
Made from real Minnesota
cheese and sausage.

1650
01:13:25,337 --> 01:13:27,931
One Prince of Pizza slice

1651
01:13:28,007 --> 01:13:30,270
Puts me in paradise

1652
01:13:30,341 --> 01:13:32,935
Sausage and extra cheese

1653
01:13:33,011 --> 01:13:35,673
Onions and anchovies

1654
01:13:36,748 --> 01:13:37,908
That's fun... that's funny.

1655
01:13:37,982 --> 01:13:40,541
Watching them through this glass,
it's like a zoo.

1656
01:13:42,653 --> 01:13:45,952
- Ahh.
- I'll be right back.

1657
01:13:46,023 --> 01:13:47,512
It's the best

1658
01:13:47,590 --> 01:13:48,818
It's the best

1659
01:13:48,891 --> 01:13:51,257
In the Midwest

1660
01:13:51,327 --> 01:13:52,658
Pizza pie

1661
01:13:52,728 --> 01:13:54,025
Pizza pie

1662
01:13:54,096 --> 01:13:57,963
Prince of Pizza is the best pie

1663
01:14:04,105 --> 01:14:05,469
Yes, Guy Noir here.

1664
01:14:05,539 --> 01:14:06,631
Get me Molly.

1665
01:14:09,610 --> 01:14:10,599
Yeah?

1666
01:14:10,678 --> 01:14:13,646
Molly, listen, I need you to do something
for me. It's very important.

1667
01:14:13,713 --> 01:14:14,680
What?

1668
01:14:14,747 --> 01:14:17,045
I need you come out here
so I can talk to you face to face.

1669
01:14:17,116 --> 01:14:19,050
- Can you do that?
- I'm right here.

1670
01:14:19,118 --> 01:14:21,882
Wha... b... d...

1671
01:14:21,954 --> 01:14:24,387
- Who's this?
- I don't know.

1672
01:14:24,456 --> 01:14:26,754
No, who...
who's talking to me?

1673
01:14:26,825 --> 01:14:27,814
I don't... l-I am!

1674
01:14:27,893 --> 01:14:29,383
Shh! Hello?

1675
01:14:29,461 --> 01:14:31,018
Hello?

1676
01:14:31,095 --> 01:14:32,460
Hello?

1677
01:14:33,898 --> 01:14:35,525
There's nobody there.

1678
01:14:35,599 --> 01:14:37,328
OK.

1679
01:14:37,401 --> 01:14:39,834
I have to ask you
to do something for me.

1680
01:14:39,903 --> 01:14:40,870
It's very important.

1681
01:14:40,937 --> 01:14:42,427
- It's, uh...
- What?

1682
01:14:43,573 --> 01:14:45,564
I need a drink.

1683
01:14:45,642 --> 01:14:47,109
Uhh!

1684
01:14:47,177 --> 01:14:48,235
Oh, je...

1685
01:14:50,212 --> 01:14:51,372
You OK?

1686
01:14:53,949 --> 01:14:54,916
Yeah.

1687
01:14:54,983 --> 01:14:58,884
So how's it goin' in there
with, uh, axeman?

1688
01:14:59,921 --> 01:15:01,081
Very slippery.

1689
01:15:01,155 --> 01:15:02,486
How do they keep
the drinks on there?

1690
01:15:02,557 --> 01:15:03,581
It's going very well.

1691
01:15:03,658 --> 01:15:05,683
I mean, well, he's tough.
He's tough.

1692
01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:10,719
But, uh, I think, uh,
I think I have another solution.

1693
01:15:10,797 --> 01:15:11,764
What?

1694
01:15:11,832 --> 01:15:13,459
Well, he used to be in a band.

1695
01:15:13,533 --> 01:15:15,523
A long time ago
called the Dukes of Rhythm...

1696
01:15:15,601 --> 01:15:18,001
and I think if we can round up
the guys who were in that band...

1697
01:15:18,070 --> 01:15:20,061
and get 'em all on the show...

1698
01:15:20,139 --> 01:15:21,697
Sorry.

1699
01:15:21,774 --> 01:15:26,540
Um, we can, um, we can maybe
get him to change his mind.

1700
01:15:26,611 --> 01:15:31,810
Have a kind of reunion, you know,
with all the, uh, band members...

1701
01:15:31,883 --> 01:15:32,906
<i>right here on
The Prairie Home Companion.</i>

1702
01:15:33,984 --> 01:15:34,951
Here's to happy endings.

1703
01:15:35,018 --> 01:15:36,508
Happy endings!

1704
01:15:39,556 --> 01:15:41,546
Ahh!

1705
01:15:41,624 --> 01:15:42,591
Ahh!

1706
01:15:42,658 --> 01:15:43,784
Oh, God, that's good.

1707
01:15:43,860 --> 01:15:45,054
Mother's milk.

1708
01:15:45,128 --> 01:15:47,494
- What?
- Sorry.

1709
01:15:47,563 --> 01:15:49,554
Here's what I need you to do.

1710
01:15:49,632 --> 01:15:51,565
- Hmm.
- Take this note...

1711
01:15:51,633 --> 01:15:53,794
uhh, to the woman...

1712
01:15:53,869 --> 01:15:55,268
backstage...

1713
01:15:55,337 --> 01:15:56,599
Give it to who?

1714
01:15:56,671 --> 01:15:57,695
The lady backstage.

1715
01:15:57,773 --> 01:15:59,239
The blonde lady
with a white trench coat.

1716
01:15:59,306 --> 01:16:00,398
Blonde lady with
a white trench coat?

1717
01:16:00,474 --> 01:16:02,374
Yes. She's beautiful, blonde.

1718
01:16:02,443 --> 01:16:04,468
Ahh, ahh...

1719
01:16:04,545 --> 01:16:05,603
You can't miss her.

1720
01:16:05,679 --> 01:16:07,737
"Angel, man in the..."

1721
01:16:07,814 --> 01:16:09,907
Shh!

1722
01:16:09,983 --> 01:16:11,348
Boat?

1723
01:16:11,418 --> 01:16:12,544
Booth.

1724
01:16:12,619 --> 01:16:14,519
"Man in the booth...

1725
01:16:14,587 --> 01:16:18,613
Make him go away."

1726
01:16:19,825 --> 01:16:23,352
Give this to her,
and then destroy that.

1727
01:16:24,830 --> 01:16:28,060
<i>It's time to bring out an old favorite
here on A Prairie Home Companion...</i>

1728
01:16:28,132 --> 01:16:30,930
And that's two fine women
who've been singing together...

1729
01:16:31,002 --> 01:16:34,937
since they were little girls
growing up in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.

1730
01:16:35,005 --> 01:16:37,269
They've kept alive all those old songs
that go way back.

1731
01:16:37,340 --> 01:16:41,140
Please welcome here the Johnson Girls,
Rhonda and Yolanda.

1732
01:16:41,211 --> 01:16:44,111
Ha ha ha ha.

1733
01:16:44,180 --> 01:16:45,704
Thank you.

1734
01:16:45,781 --> 01:16:48,249
Thank you very much.

1735
01:16:48,317 --> 01:16:51,945
We're gonna do a song now
that we wrote for our mama.

1736
01:16:52,020 --> 01:16:54,318
Who brought us up...

1737
01:16:54,389 --> 01:16:56,448
with no, uh, luxuries.

1738
01:16:56,524 --> 01:16:58,219
Ha ha. No vacation trips.

1739
01:16:58,293 --> 01:17:00,226
No vacations even.
Ha ha ha.

1740
01:17:00,294 --> 01:17:02,387
But we did have one luxury...

1741
01:17:02,463 --> 01:17:05,694
and that was... music.
You know?

1742
01:17:05,766 --> 01:17:06,994
Mama loved us to sing.

1743
01:17:07,067 --> 01:17:10,729
Yeah, no matter how tired she was,
she loved...

1744
01:17:11,204 --> 01:17:13,570
hearin' us kids sing.

1745
01:17:15,875 --> 01:17:17,739
So this is for you, Mama.

1746
01:17:20,612 --> 01:17:22,705
Good-bye to my mama

1747
01:17:22,781 --> 01:17:24,840
My uncles and aunts

1748
01:17:24,916 --> 01:17:26,940
One after another

1749
01:17:27,017 --> 01:17:30,578
They went to lie down

1750
01:17:30,654 --> 01:17:32,815
In the green pastures

1751
01:17:32,890 --> 01:17:34,949
Beside the still waters

1752
01:17:35,025 --> 01:17:41,429
And made no sound

1753
01:17:41,498 --> 01:17:43,659
Their arms that had held me

1754
01:17:43,733 --> 01:17:45,962
For so many years

1755
01:17:46,034 --> 01:17:48,161
Their beautiful voices

1756
01:17:48,237 --> 01:17:50,432
No longer I hear

1757
01:17:50,506 --> 01:17:52,565
They're in Jesus' arms

1758
01:17:52,641 --> 01:17:54,904
And He's talkin' to them

1759
01:17:54,976 --> 01:18:00,312
In the rapturous New Jerusalem

1760
01:18:00,381 --> 01:18:02,644
And I know they're at peace

1761
01:18:02,716 --> 01:18:04,843
In a land of delight

1762
01:18:04,918 --> 01:18:06,681
But I miss

1763
01:18:06,753 --> 01:18:11,519
My mama

1764
01:18:11,590 --> 01:18:15,822
Tonight

1765
01:18:21,299 --> 01:18:25,201
Oh, Chuck,
they're playin' this for you.

1766
01:18:25,270 --> 01:18:28,432
You should be out there
performin' this with them.

1767
01:18:28,505 --> 01:18:31,565
Who went to lie down

1768
01:18:31,642 --> 01:18:38,046
And now is gone

1769
01:18:39,282 --> 01:18:42,046
Whose hands are these

1770
01:18:42,118 --> 01:18:46,713
All rough and hard?

1771
01:18:46,788 --> 01:18:54,058
Nails all torn from toil and care

1772
01:18:54,129 --> 01:18:57,188
Who cleaned the house

1773
01:18:57,264 --> 01:19:01,291
And kept the yard

1774
01:19:01,368 --> 01:19:04,063
Touched my cheek

1775
01:19:04,137 --> 01:19:09,040
And stroked my hair?

1776
01:19:09,108 --> 01:19:12,406
Thank you, Mama

1777
01:19:12,477 --> 01:19:16,641
The Lord give you peace

1778
01:19:16,715 --> 01:19:19,411
Bless your voice

1779
01:19:19,484 --> 01:19:24,147
And the songs you've sung

1780
01:19:24,221 --> 01:19:26,917
Blessed your arms

1781
01:19:26,991 --> 01:19:31,154
And your hands and your knees

1782
01:19:31,227 --> 01:19:34,663
How you loved us

1783
01:19:34,731 --> 01:19:38,928
When we were young

1784
01:19:39,001 --> 01:19:42,767
The Lord's my shepherd

1785
01:19:42,838 --> 01:19:46,069
I'll not want

1786
01:19:46,141 --> 01:19:49,667
I have my mama

1787
01:19:49,744 --> 01:19:53,646
My uncles and aunts

1788
01:19:53,715 --> 01:19:56,547
Waters so still

1789
01:19:56,617 --> 01:20:01,111
And pastures so green

1790
01:20:01,188 --> 01:20:04,918
Goodness and mercy

1791
01:20:04,991 --> 01:20:08,654
Following me

1792
01:20:08,728 --> 01:20:12,789
Goodness and mercy

1793
01:20:12,865 --> 01:20:19,167
Following me

1794
01:20:20,839 --> 01:20:23,773
OK, OK, you're on.
Go get 'em.

1795
01:20:25,242 --> 01:20:26,800
The Johnson Girls, thank you.

1796
01:20:26,877 --> 01:20:29,778
Brought to you by Powdermilk Biscuits
in the big blue box.

1797
01:20:29,847 --> 01:20:34,044
Let's bring 'em in right now
in off that long, dusty, lonesome trail...

1798
01:20:34,117 --> 01:20:38,520
the old trail hands themselves,
Dusty and Lefty.

1799
01:20:42,391 --> 01:20:43,517
Thank you very much.

1800
01:20:43,592 --> 01:20:45,287
Lefty and I are very proud of this.

1801
01:20:45,360 --> 01:20:47,191
It's a brand new number.

1802
01:20:47,262 --> 01:20:52,130
And, uh, we'd like to send it out
to our friends there in, uh...

1803
01:20:52,199 --> 01:20:57,261
Maple Plain and... and Glenwood
and, uh, Renville and of course...

1804
01:20:57,337 --> 01:20:59,362
our good friends
up there on the range.

1805
01:20:59,439 --> 01:21:00,565
This is for you.

1806
01:21:00,640 --> 01:21:02,335
One... two... three.

1807
01:21:06,679 --> 01:21:09,375
Oh, God.

1808
01:21:09,448 --> 01:21:11,313
I'm gonna kill those guys.

1809
01:21:12,584 --> 01:21:14,415
The blind man's seein' eye dog

1810
01:21:14,486 --> 01:21:16,578
Pissed on the blind man's shoe...

1811
01:21:16,654 --> 01:21:18,781
- The blinds man said, "Here, Rover"
- Oh, no.

1812
01:21:18,856 --> 01:21:20,824
"Here's a piece of beef for you"

1813
01:21:20,892 --> 01:21:22,860
His wife said, "Don't reward him"

1814
01:21:22,927 --> 01:21:24,120
Hey, what are you doin' back there?

1815
01:21:24,194 --> 01:21:25,718
You can't just let that pass

1816
01:21:25,796 --> 01:21:27,024
The blind man said

1817
01:21:27,097 --> 01:21:28,223
"I gotta find his mouth"

1818
01:21:28,298 --> 01:21:30,562
"So I can kick him in the ass"

1819
01:21:30,634 --> 01:21:31,726
- Bad jokes
- Oh, great.

1820
01:21:31,835 --> 01:21:32,858
- Lord, I love 'em
- Now what's the difference?

1821
01:21:32,935 --> 01:21:34,197
- Bad jokes
- Piss, ass.

1822
01:21:34,270 --> 01:21:36,534
- Can't get enough of 'em
- Show's on the way out, anyway.

1823
01:21:36,605 --> 01:21:37,594
Ooowhee

1824
01:21:37,673 --> 01:21:40,369
Bad jokes for me

1825
01:21:41,576 --> 01:21:42,543
You got one, Dusty?

1826
01:21:42,610 --> 01:21:44,544
- I got one, Lefty.
- Let's hear it.

1827
01:21:44,612 --> 01:21:46,603
When God created woman

1828
01:21:46,681 --> 01:21:49,115
He gave her not two breasts but three

1829
01:21:49,184 --> 01:21:51,378
When the middle one got in the way

1830
01:21:51,452 --> 01:21:53,283
God performed surgery

1831
01:21:53,353 --> 01:21:55,947
Woman stood before God

1832
01:21:56,023 --> 01:21:58,184
With the middle breast in hand

1833
01:21:58,258 --> 01:21:59,519
Said, "What do we do"

1834
01:21:59,592 --> 01:22:00,786
"With the useless boob?"

1835
01:22:00,860 --> 01:22:03,385
And God created man

1836
01:22:03,463 --> 01:22:04,452
Bad jokes

1837
01:22:04,530 --> 01:22:05,622
Lord, I love 'em

1838
01:22:05,698 --> 01:22:06,790
- Bad jokes
- Oh, great, boobs.

1839
01:22:06,866 --> 01:22:08,423
- Can't get enough of 'em
- Ha. Why not?

1840
01:22:08,500 --> 01:22:09,558
- Ooowhee
- Tits, ass, bring it on.

1841
01:22:09,634 --> 01:22:10,692
- The more the merrier.
- Bad jokes for me

1842
01:22:10,769 --> 01:22:12,430
What about boobs?

1843
01:22:12,504 --> 01:22:14,233
They're singin' a song
about boobs and poop...

1844
01:22:14,306 --> 01:22:16,205
and who knows what?
Hey, why not?

1845
01:22:16,273 --> 01:22:17,672
Let's just wreck the whole show.

1846
01:22:17,742 --> 01:22:18,970
I guess...

1847
01:22:19,043 --> 01:22:20,305
Let's... let's have a drink.

1848
01:22:20,377 --> 01:22:21,867
Let's get snockered.
What do you say?

1849
01:22:21,946 --> 01:22:23,937
When a beautiful
young naked woman

1850
01:22:24,014 --> 01:22:26,208
Stood up in front of the group

1851
01:22:26,282 --> 01:22:28,614
She offered Gramps some super sex

1852
01:22:28,685 --> 01:22:31,051
And he said, "I'll take the soup"

1853
01:22:31,121 --> 01:22:32,088
Bad jokes

1854
01:22:32,155 --> 01:22:33,122
Lord, I love 'em

1855
01:22:33,189 --> 01:22:34,246
Bad jokes

1856
01:22:34,323 --> 01:22:35,654
Can't get enough of 'em...

1857
01:22:35,724 --> 01:22:38,591
Oh, kid.
It's over, kid.

1858
01:22:38,660 --> 01:22:40,150
They're pullin' the plug.

1859
01:22:41,764 --> 01:22:42,730
You ready for another one?

1860
01:22:42,797 --> 01:22:44,788
Yeah, lay it on me.

1861
01:22:44,866 --> 01:22:47,096
Ole went to the neighborhood dance

1862
01:22:47,168 --> 01:22:49,295
And he won the big door prize

1863
01:22:49,370 --> 01:22:50,564
It was a toilet brush

1864
01:22:50,638 --> 01:22:51,604
And he took it home

1865
01:22:51,671 --> 01:22:53,662
And the next week one of the guys

1866
01:22:53,740 --> 01:22:56,208
Said, "Ole, how's that toilet brush?"

1867
01:22:56,276 --> 01:22:58,369
"The one you won
from the neighbors?"

1868
01:22:58,445 --> 01:23:00,275
Ole said, "Oh, it works pretty good"

1869
01:23:00,346 --> 01:23:02,940
"But I prefer toilet paper"

1870
01:23:03,015 --> 01:23:03,982
Bad jokes

1871
01:23:04,049 --> 01:23:05,107
Lord, I love 'em

1872
01:23:05,184 --> 01:23:06,276
Bad jokes

1873
01:23:06,352 --> 01:23:07,683
Can't get enough of 'em

1874
01:23:07,753 --> 01:23:09,845
Ooowhee

1875
01:23:09,921 --> 01:23:12,116
Bad jokes for me

1876
01:23:12,190 --> 01:23:14,249
The farmer had a champion bull

1877
01:23:14,325 --> 01:23:16,259
Who bred 200 times a year

1878
01:23:16,327 --> 01:23:19,056
The farmer's wife said, "200 times?"

1879
01:23:19,129 --> 01:23:21,120
"Isn't that wonderful, dear?"

1880
01:23:21,198 --> 01:23:22,893
"Maybe you ought to watch him"

1881
01:23:22,966 --> 01:23:25,434
"Maybe he'll show you how"

1882
01:23:25,502 --> 01:23:27,628
The farmer said, "He's a heck of a bull"

1883
01:23:27,703 --> 01:23:29,568
"But it wasn't all with the same cow"

1884
01:23:29,639 --> 01:23:31,266
Come on, now, bad jokes

1885
01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,307
Lord, I love 'em

1886
01:23:32,375 --> 01:23:33,467
Bad jokes

1887
01:23:33,543 --> 01:23:34,874
Can't get enough of 'em

1888
01:23:34,943 --> 01:23:37,036
Ooowhee

1889
01:23:37,112 --> 01:23:38,977
Bad jokes for me

1890
01:23:39,047 --> 01:23:41,811
Let's see. I've got...

1891
01:23:41,883 --> 01:23:43,816
one, four, three...

1892
01:23:43,884 --> 01:23:46,853
Did you hear about the Viagra shipment
that got stolen?

1893
01:23:46,921 --> 01:23:48,149
No, who they think did it?

1894
01:23:48,222 --> 01:23:49,416
Well, they don't know...

1895
01:23:49,490 --> 01:23:51,549
but they're on the lookout
for hardened criminals.

1896
01:23:53,226 --> 01:23:54,488
Get Garrison out here.

1897
01:23:54,561 --> 01:23:55,585
They're wrappin' this up.

1898
01:23:55,662 --> 01:23:57,254
You got another one?

1899
01:23:57,330 --> 01:23:59,855
I got another one, Lefty.

1900
01:23:59,933 --> 01:24:03,629
Sven said to his friend,
"Boy, I think my wife died."

1901
01:24:03,702 --> 01:24:05,636
His friend said,
"Well, what do you mean, you think?"

1902
01:24:05,704 --> 01:24:10,640
"Well, the sex is still the same,
but the dishes are stackin' up."

1903
01:24:10,708 --> 01:24:12,676
Ha ha ha!

1904
01:24:14,745 --> 01:24:15,769
Hey, Dusty.

1905
01:24:15,847 --> 01:24:17,678
Yeah, Lefty?

1906
01:24:17,748 --> 01:24:20,944
Did you know
that diarrhea was hereditary?

1907
01:24:21,017 --> 01:24:22,985
No, I didn't.

1908
01:24:23,053 --> 01:24:25,180
Yeah, it runs in your jeans.

1909
01:24:25,255 --> 01:24:27,223
Ha ha ha ha!

1910
01:24:28,958 --> 01:24:31,483
Hey, uh, heh, Lefty?

1911
01:24:31,560 --> 01:24:32,686
Yeah? Go ahead.

1912
01:24:32,761 --> 01:24:34,888
Why do they call it PMS?

1913
01:24:34,964 --> 01:24:37,158
PMS? Why, I don't know. Why?

1914
01:24:37,232 --> 01:24:39,996
'Cause Mad Cow was already taken.

1915
01:24:41,269 --> 01:24:42,702
All right, that's enough.

1916
01:24:42,770 --> 01:24:45,602
Ha ha ha!

1917
01:24:45,672 --> 01:24:47,230
Hey, Dusty.

1918
01:24:47,307 --> 01:24:48,274
Yeah, Lefty?

1919
01:24:48,342 --> 01:24:52,608
What do you get when you cross
holy water with castor oil?

1920
01:24:52,679 --> 01:24:54,669
I don't know, Lefty.
What do you get?

1921
01:24:54,747 --> 01:24:56,647
A religious movement.

1922
01:24:58,050 --> 01:24:59,540
Ha ha ha ha!

1923
01:24:59,619 --> 01:25:04,646
Hey, uh... hey, Lefty, what did
the elephant say to the naked man?

1924
01:25:04,723 --> 01:25:05,815
What'd he say?

1925
01:25:05,891 --> 01:25:08,485
It's cute, but can you really
breathe through that thing?

1926
01:25:09,561 --> 01:25:10,528
Come on, now.

1927
01:25:10,595 --> 01:25:11,856
Bad jokes

1928
01:25:11,929 --> 01:25:12,896
Lord, I love 'em

1929
01:25:12,963 --> 01:25:13,930
Bad jokes

1930
01:25:13,998 --> 01:25:15,260
Can't get enough of 'em

1931
01:25:15,332 --> 01:25:17,562
Ooowhee

1932
01:25:17,635 --> 01:25:19,796
Bad jokes for me

1933
01:25:19,870 --> 01:25:20,927
Bad jokes

1934
01:25:21,004 --> 01:25:21,993
Man, I love 'em

1935
01:25:22,071 --> 01:25:23,038
Bad jokes

1936
01:25:23,106 --> 01:25:24,368
Can't get enough of 'em

1937
01:25:24,440 --> 01:25:26,670
Ooowhee

1938
01:25:26,743 --> 01:25:28,370
Bad

1939
01:25:28,444 --> 01:25:29,410
Whoo!

1940
01:25:29,478 --> 01:25:34,677
Jokes for me

1941
01:25:36,585 --> 01:25:37,745
Hey!

1942
01:25:39,487 --> 01:25:41,455
Thank you!

1943
01:25:42,023 --> 01:25:43,081
Whoo-hoo!

1944
01:25:46,260 --> 01:25:47,749
We hope you've enjoyed
our show tonight.

1945
01:25:47,827 --> 01:25:49,761
We certainly have enjoyed
having you with us.

1946
01:25:49,829 --> 01:25:51,956
Great God in heaven.
Holy shit.

1947
01:25:52,032 --> 01:25:53,761
We've got six minutes left!
How did that happen?

1948
01:25:53,833 --> 01:25:55,300
Look, have you got
anything for six minutes?

1949
01:25:55,367 --> 01:25:56,732
Have you rehearsed anything?
Anything? Anything?

1950
01:25:56,802 --> 01:25:57,769
Listen to me.
Listen to me.

1951
01:25:57,836 --> 01:26:02,000
Darlin', remember I said to you,
one door closes, another one opens?

1952
01:26:02,074 --> 01:26:03,041
You go downstairs.

1953
01:26:03,108 --> 01:26:05,041
Get your music
and come up and sing.

1954
01:26:05,109 --> 01:26:07,270
- Now?
- Lola, go, go, go.

1955
01:26:07,345 --> 01:26:08,573
You can do it.

1956
01:26:08,646 --> 01:26:09,908
He said, go! Go!

1957
01:26:09,981 --> 01:26:10,948
Before he gets done.

1958
01:26:11,015 --> 01:26:13,448
That gives shy persons
the strength to get up...

1959
01:26:13,517 --> 01:26:15,610
and do what needs to be done.

1960
01:27:12,370 --> 01:27:15,805
So, we'll look forward to seeing you
back here at the Fitzgerald Theater...

1961
01:27:15,872 --> 01:27:17,134
next week at this same time.

1962
01:27:17,207 --> 01:27:19,607
Brought to you once again
by your friends at Powdermilk Biscuits.

1963
01:27:19,676 --> 01:27:21,701
Six minutes.
Lola's gonna sing a song.

1964
01:27:21,778 --> 01:27:23,540
Your barn doors are open.

1965
01:27:23,612 --> 01:27:26,604
But first, we're going to bring
a young woman on...

1966
01:27:26,682 --> 01:27:29,708
to make her debut on our show.

1967
01:27:29,785 --> 01:27:33,151
Let's bring out this young
and very talented...

1968
01:27:33,221 --> 01:27:36,520
young woman who knows
all those good old songs...

1969
01:27:36,591 --> 01:27:38,923
to make her
very first performance...

1970
01:27:38,993 --> 01:27:41,085
right here on our radio show.

1971
01:27:41,161 --> 01:27:46,463
Please welcome now
the beautiful young Miss Lola Johnson.

1972
01:27:46,533 --> 01:27:47,659
Lola Johnson.

1973
01:27:47,734 --> 01:27:49,292
Ladies and gentlemen.

1974
01:27:59,177 --> 01:28:02,544
Frankie and Johnny were sweethearts

1975
01:28:02,614 --> 01:28:05,549
But he was doin' her wrong

1976
01:28:05,617 --> 01:28:09,052
He was doin' her wrong
in a bad way

1977
01:28:09,119 --> 01:28:11,383
But she was good and strong

1978
01:28:11,455 --> 01:28:14,754
He was her man

1979
01:28:14,825 --> 01:28:16,917
But he was a jerk

1980
01:28:16,993 --> 01:28:18,517
Is that the way this song goes?

1981
01:28:18,594 --> 01:28:20,221
Um, sort of.

1982
01:28:20,296 --> 01:28:22,321
He was in a hotel with Nelly Bly

1983
01:28:22,398 --> 01:28:26,424
And the gun went rooty-toot-toot

1984
01:28:26,501 --> 01:28:29,436
She shot the bastard in the heart

1985
01:28:29,504 --> 01:28:31,563
And ruined his nice suit

1986
01:28:31,640 --> 01:28:35,040
He was her man

1987
01:28:35,109 --> 01:28:37,373
But he was no damn good

1988
01:28:39,613 --> 01:28:43,139
So, they took him
up to the graveyard

1989
01:28:43,216 --> 01:28:46,947
And stuck him in the dirt

1990
01:28:47,020 --> 01:28:49,750
Which was oh, so very sad

1991
01:28:49,823 --> 01:28:52,256
And the waste of a nice clean shirt

1992
01:28:52,324 --> 01:28:55,487
He was her man

1993
01:28:55,561 --> 01:28:58,530
But he was doin' her wrong

1994
01:28:58,597 --> 01:28:59,620
What's the next line?

1995
01:28:59,697 --> 01:29:03,258
I've no idea. I don't know.

1996
01:29:03,334 --> 01:29:06,633
He had no idea what happened

1997
01:29:06,704 --> 01:29:10,298
He was wavin' hello to God

1998
01:29:10,373 --> 01:29:13,137
He died from eatin' squirrels

1999
01:29:13,210 --> 01:29:16,077
And they laid him in the sod

2000
01:29:16,146 --> 01:29:19,376
He was her man

2001
01:29:19,448 --> 01:29:21,541
And he was doin' her wrong

2002
01:29:21,617 --> 01:29:23,812
Cool song.
Wrap it up.

2003
01:29:23,886 --> 01:29:27,218
So that was Frankie and Johnny

2004
01:29:27,288 --> 01:29:30,724
And that's the end of my song

2005
01:29:30,792 --> 01:29:34,159
She put a hose in his tailpipe

2006
01:29:34,229 --> 01:29:36,492
'Cause he had done her wrong

2007
01:29:36,563 --> 01:29:39,555
He was her man

2008
01:29:39,633 --> 01:29:45,832
And that's all she wrote

2009
01:29:46,906 --> 01:29:48,396
Thank you.

2010
01:29:48,541 --> 01:29:51,271
Ha ha ha!

2011
01:29:51,344 --> 01:29:53,811
There's a young woman
who's going a long way.

2012
01:29:53,879 --> 01:29:55,506
We're going, too.
We're out of here,

2013
01:29:55,580 --> 01:29:56,877
And that's our show.

2014
01:29:57,249 --> 01:29:59,080
Remember to keep
your feet on the ground...

2015
01:29:59,151 --> 01:30:00,743
your hopes up high...

2016
01:30:00,819 --> 01:30:03,116
pray for rain,
keep the humor dry...

2017
01:30:03,187 --> 01:30:05,678
and eat those Powdermilk Biscuits.

2018
01:30:05,756 --> 01:30:07,553
Thank you, everybody.

2019
01:30:07,625 --> 01:30:15,531
Come and sit by my side
if you love me

2020
01:30:15,598 --> 01:30:23,231
Do not hasten to bid me adieu

2021
01:30:23,305 --> 01:30:31,268
But remember the Red River Valley

2022
01:30:31,345 --> 01:30:39,615
And the one
who has loved you so true

2023
01:30:39,686 --> 01:30:40,812
Show's almost over.

2024
01:30:40,887 --> 01:30:42,286
In more ways than one.

2025
01:30:42,355 --> 01:30:44,948
Nice perfume.
Who are you with? The show?

2026
01:30:45,024 --> 01:30:46,514
In a way.

2027
01:30:46,592 --> 01:30:48,924
I used to listen
to this show every week.

2028
01:30:48,994 --> 01:30:53,828
Hmm. Well, it was great in its time,
but the time's up. Life moves on.

2029
01:30:53,898 --> 01:30:55,388
It does.

2030
01:30:55,466 --> 01:30:57,263
So, be careful driving tonight.

2031
01:30:57,335 --> 01:30:59,394
Need a lift somewhere?

2032
01:30:59,470 --> 01:31:02,132
There's a shortcut to the airport.

2033
01:31:02,207 --> 01:31:07,109
A steep hill followed by a series
of sharp curves and a large oak tree.

2034
01:31:07,177 --> 01:31:09,008
What's your name?

2035
01:31:09,079 --> 01:31:10,046
Asphodel.

2036
01:31:10,113 --> 01:31:11,909
Pretty.
I like your hair that way.

2037
01:31:11,981 --> 01:31:14,973
Come and sit by my side...

2038
01:31:15,051 --> 01:31:16,245
When I used to listen to them...

2039
01:31:16,319 --> 01:31:18,583
it was like they were all
my really good friends.

2040
01:31:18,654 --> 01:31:20,348
But something else happened, right?

2041
01:31:20,422 --> 01:31:21,389
Right.

2042
01:31:21,456 --> 01:31:23,515
Well...

2043
01:31:23,592 --> 01:31:28,222
I'm that something else.

2044
01:31:28,296 --> 01:31:36,202
But remember
the Red River Valley

2045
01:31:46,445 --> 01:31:47,878
How long is the ride to the airport?

2046
01:31:47,946 --> 01:31:48,913
Twenty minutes.

2047
01:31:48,981 --> 01:31:51,916
She said there was a shortcut.

2048
01:31:51,984 --> 01:31:53,281
Yes, sir. I know it.

2049
01:32:26,981 --> 01:32:29,745
That was the last we saw of him.

2050
01:32:29,817 --> 01:32:31,875
The car hit a tree and blew up.

2051
01:32:34,121 --> 01:32:37,318
Good-bye, axeman.

2052
01:32:37,391 --> 01:32:41,850
But it didn't change a thing.

2053
01:32:41,927 --> 01:32:43,360
<i>They sang Sweet By and By...</i>

2054
01:32:43,429 --> 01:32:50,027
and the audience filed out
and everybody packed up and left.

2055
01:32:50,101 --> 01:32:51,090
First thing in the morning...

2056
01:32:51,169 --> 01:32:53,501
a truck from the demolition
company pulls up...

2057
01:32:53,571 --> 01:32:58,735
and two guys started drilling
for the explosives.

2058
01:32:58,809 --> 01:33:02,711
Just like ya learned
in eighth grade English.

2059
01:33:02,780 --> 01:33:07,739
So gather ye rosebuds while ye may

2060
01:33:07,817 --> 01:33:13,653
Oh, time is still a-flying

2061
01:33:13,723 --> 01:33:20,059
This same flower that smiles today

2062
01:33:20,128 --> 01:33:24,063
Tomorrow

2063
01:33:24,131 --> 01:33:26,099
Will be dying

2064
01:33:39,579 --> 01:33:41,375
Come on, pal.

2065
01:33:41,447 --> 01:33:43,005
Let me buy you a drink.

2066
01:33:48,253 --> 01:33:49,378
Ah!

2067
01:34:06,470 --> 01:34:08,562
Donna, make it three eggs over.

2068
01:34:08,637 --> 01:34:10,571
- No, listen to her.
- I was tellin' you.

2069
01:34:10,639 --> 01:34:11,663
What were you saying?

2070
01:34:11,741 --> 01:34:14,107
We are talkin'
about doin' a farewell tour.

2071
01:34:14,176 --> 01:34:15,370
- Yeah.
- Oh, who?

2072
01:34:15,444 --> 01:34:17,468
Oh, the whole gang
from the old radio show.

2073
01:34:17,545 --> 01:34:19,479
- Yeah.
- But the show's been over for years.

2074
01:34:19,547 --> 01:34:20,514
Yeah, I mean...

2075
01:34:20,582 --> 01:34:22,277
So? I always wanted to do
a farewell tour.

2076
01:34:22,350 --> 01:34:23,715
I loved doin' that last show.

2077
01:34:23,785 --> 01:34:27,015
I just want to do one last show
and then another one...

2078
01:34:27,087 --> 01:34:28,884
until I'm in a wheelchair.

2079
01:34:28,956 --> 01:34:30,890
I just want to keep doin' them.

2080
01:34:30,958 --> 01:34:32,823
You know, as long as I can
remember the words.

2081
01:34:32,893 --> 01:34:34,723
There's all sorts of towns
we haven't played.

2082
01:34:34,794 --> 01:34:38,059
I mean, you've got Gooseberry Falls
and Lake Winnebigoshish.

2083
01:34:38,131 --> 01:34:41,100
Up in Lake Winnebigoshish
a lot of people are waitin' to see us.

2084
01:34:41,167 --> 01:34:42,258
Well, you... don't count on me.

2085
01:34:42,334 --> 01:34:43,494
I got a lot of stuff happening.

2086
01:34:43,568 --> 01:34:44,728
What?

2087
01:34:44,803 --> 01:34:46,998
Oh, things.
Things that are in the works.

2088
01:34:47,072 --> 01:34:49,870
Different deals I'm... working out.

2089
01:34:49,941 --> 01:34:51,805
I'll be in and out of town a lot.

2090
01:34:51,876 --> 01:34:54,777
- Yeah, OK. So, what about you?
- Hey, I'm free.

2091
01:34:54,845 --> 01:34:55,812
- Oh!
- Great!

2092
01:34:55,880 --> 01:34:57,814
- Workin' at the parking ramp.
- The parkin' ramp?

2093
01:34:57,882 --> 01:34:59,815
Yes. It's a good job.
I like it.

2094
01:34:59,883 --> 01:35:00,872
I read a lot of books.

2095
01:35:00,950 --> 01:35:01,917
Make that four eggs.

2096
01:35:01,985 --> 01:35:03,452
Oh, boy.
You're readin' a lot.

2097
01:35:03,520 --> 01:35:06,045
- Yeah.
- That's interesting.

2098
01:35:06,189 --> 01:35:08,020
Oh, look at this!
Look who's here!

2099
01:35:08,091 --> 01:35:09,489
Oh, my God, I miss these guys.

2100
01:35:09,558 --> 01:35:11,423
Ha ha ha!

2101
01:35:11,493 --> 01:35:14,553
Look who just blew in
from the old prairie.

2102
01:35:14,630 --> 01:35:18,224
I thought you left town
ahead of the sheriff?

2103
01:35:18,299 --> 01:35:21,029
Well, the woman decided
not to press charges.

2104
01:35:21,102 --> 01:35:23,366
Oh, yeah?
What was the crime? Snorin'?

2105
01:35:23,438 --> 01:35:25,769
Ha ha ha!

2106
01:35:25,839 --> 01:35:27,500
Love.

2107
01:35:27,574 --> 01:35:29,064
We just got back in town...

2108
01:35:29,142 --> 01:35:30,871
from playin' the casinos
in South Dakota.

2109
01:35:30,944 --> 01:35:32,434
Yeah? Playin' what? Pinochle?

2110
01:35:32,512 --> 01:35:33,536
Ha ha ha!

2111
01:35:33,613 --> 01:35:35,011
Playin' our music.

2112
01:35:35,080 --> 01:35:37,207
Hey, we hear you might be
gettin' a tour up.

2113
01:35:37,283 --> 01:35:38,307
Oh, yeah.

2114
01:35:38,384 --> 01:35:40,545
We've added some rope tricks
to the repertoire.

2115
01:35:40,619 --> 01:35:42,610
Flaming lariats.

2116
01:35:42,688 --> 01:35:44,279
It's called "Rings of Fire."

2117
01:35:44,355 --> 01:35:46,448
Well, you know,
we got a bus with bunk beds...

2118
01:35:46,524 --> 01:35:49,254
and we're goin' back
to playin' churches and schools.

2119
01:35:49,327 --> 01:35:50,294
Look at this.

2120
01:35:50,361 --> 01:35:53,761
She's only been workin' six months
and she's now the manager.

2121
01:35:54,565 --> 01:35:55,532
What does she do?

2122
01:35:55,599 --> 01:35:57,226
Um, I have no idea.

2123
01:35:57,301 --> 01:35:59,667
- Somethin' religious?
- Software.

2124
01:35:59,736 --> 01:36:02,260
Oh, it's big.
It's movin' like monkeys.

2125
01:36:02,338 --> 01:36:03,896
Hi.

2126
01:36:03,973 --> 01:36:06,441
All right, so, I looked
at your pension stuff.

2127
01:36:06,509 --> 01:36:07,737
Oh, good.

2128
01:36:07,810 --> 01:36:10,175
It's a horror show.

2129
01:36:10,245 --> 01:36:13,009
Have you ever heard of mutual funds?

2130
01:36:13,081 --> 01:36:15,311
You know, Mom, honestly,
you would have done a lot better...

2131
01:36:15,383 --> 01:36:19,011
if you'd just stuck it in a shoe box
and put it under your bed.

2132
01:36:19,086 --> 01:36:22,055
Well, that's why I
wanted you to help me.

2133
01:36:22,122 --> 01:36:24,113
So... here.
Sign there.

2134
01:36:24,191 --> 01:36:25,180
What is this?

2135
01:36:25,259 --> 01:36:27,022
I have to get your assets
working again.

2136
01:36:27,093 --> 01:36:29,118
- My what?
- Your assets.

2137
01:36:29,195 --> 01:36:32,926
Oh. Oh! Power of attorney.

2138
01:36:32,999 --> 01:36:35,194
Oh! And you spent $6,000 on a bus?

2139
01:36:35,268 --> 01:36:36,234
Yeah.

2140
01:36:36,301 --> 01:36:37,632
Why didn't you ask me first?

2141
01:36:37,703 --> 01:36:39,694
Well, I'm sorry.

2142
01:36:39,771 --> 01:36:42,239
So...

2143
01:36:42,307 --> 01:36:44,241
Can I keep the bus or?

2144
01:36:47,278 --> 01:36:49,269
We'll talk about it later.

2145
01:36:49,347 --> 01:36:51,281
- Hey...
- That sounds like a no.

2146
01:36:51,349 --> 01:36:52,407
I love you, too.

2147
01:36:52,483 --> 01:36:53,915
Bye, guys.

2148
01:36:53,984 --> 01:36:55,815
Donna?

2149
01:36:55,886 --> 01:36:57,080
- Bye!
- Oh, hey. Bye.

2150
01:36:57,153 --> 01:36:58,279
So long.

2151
01:36:58,355 --> 01:36:59,379
I thought that was
a terrific eulogy you gave...

2152
01:36:59,456 --> 01:37:01,321
for old man Soderberg
at his memorial service.

2153
01:37:01,391 --> 01:37:02,357
Thank you.

2154
01:37:02,424 --> 01:37:04,483
Too bad the old coot
couldn't have been there to hear it.

2155
01:37:04,560 --> 01:37:07,996
Yeah, and to have missed it
by just a few days.

2156
01:37:08,063 --> 01:37:09,997
Hmm. Ha ha!

2157
01:37:10,065 --> 01:37:11,361
Ha ha!

2158
01:37:15,036 --> 01:37:16,333
Ha ha ha!

2159
01:37:24,511 --> 01:37:26,001
I still love your laugh.

2160
01:37:26,079 --> 01:37:27,103
Oh, yeah.

2161
01:37:27,180 --> 01:37:29,807
- Hee hee hee!
- I got it.

2162
01:37:29,882 --> 01:37:32,282
I get bored.

2163
01:37:32,351 --> 01:37:33,443
Uh-huh.

2164
01:37:33,519 --> 01:37:35,680
Ha ha ha!

2165
01:37:35,755 --> 01:37:37,551
Thank you.

2166
01:37:37,622 --> 01:37:39,556
That joke just gets better and better.

2167
01:37:39,624 --> 01:37:41,751
- You know?
- Yep.

2168
01:37:45,463 --> 01:37:47,020
Anybody want to change their order?

2169
01:37:49,533 --> 01:37:51,262
Can I get a coffee?

2170
01:37:51,335 --> 01:37:55,134
Ha ha ha!

2171
01:37:55,204 --> 01:37:56,466
- Ha ha!
- Ha ha!

2172
01:37:56,539 --> 01:37:58,302
- Ha ha!
- Ha ha!

2173
01:38:32,271 --> 01:38:34,239
In the sweet

2174
01:38:34,306 --> 01:38:35,773
In the sweet

2175
01:38:35,841 --> 01:38:37,536
By and by

2176
01:38:37,610 --> 01:38:39,167
By and by

2177
01:38:39,243 --> 01:38:45,944
We shall meet
on that beautiful shore

2178
01:38:46,017 --> 01:38:49,349
In the sweet

2179
01:38:49,419 --> 01:38:52,786
By and by

2180
01:38:52,856 --> 01:38:59,784
We shall meet
on that beautiful shore

2181
01:38:59,862 --> 01:39:05,231
There's a land that
is fairer than day

2182
01:39:05,300 --> 01:39:06,665
Come on, Lola.

2183
01:39:06,735 --> 01:39:13,299
And by faith
we can see it afar

2184
01:39:13,375 --> 01:39:20,337
But the Father
awaits over there

2185
01:39:20,414 --> 01:39:25,009
To prepare us
a dwelling place there

2186
01:39:25,084 --> 01:39:27,279
Everybody! Come on!
Sing it with us now!

2187
01:39:27,353 --> 01:39:28,945
In the sweet

2188
01:39:29,022 --> 01:39:30,649
In the sweet

2189
01:39:30,723 --> 01:39:32,189
By and by

2190
01:39:32,257 --> 01:39:34,248
By and by

2191
01:39:34,326 --> 01:39:40,662
We shall meet
on that beautiful shore

2192
01:39:40,731 --> 01:39:44,531
In the sweet

2193
01:39:44,602 --> 01:39:48,003
By and by

2194
01:39:48,072 --> 01:39:54,738
We shall meet
on that beautiful shore

2195
01:39:54,811 --> 01:39:58,041
In the sweet

2196
01:39:58,113 --> 01:39:59,546
By and by

2197
01:39:59,615 --> 01:40:01,606
Ohh

2198
01:40:01,684 --> 01:40:07,952
We shall meet
on that beautiful shore

2199
01:40:08,022 --> 01:40:11,753
Yeah, in the sweet

2200
01:40:11,826 --> 01:40:15,261
By and by

2201
01:40:15,328 --> 01:40:19,731
We shall meet
on that beautiful shore

2202
01:40:19,800 --> 01:40:22,030
Take it home!

2203
01:40:22,102 --> 01:40:25,366
In the sweet

2204
01:40:25,438 --> 01:40:26,769
By and by

2205
01:40:26,839 --> 01:40:28,830
Oh, by and by

2206
01:40:28,908 --> 01:40:35,574
We shall meet
on that beautiful shore

2207
01:40:35,647 --> 01:40:38,912
On the sweet

2208
01:40:38,983 --> 01:40:41,542
By and by

2209
01:40:49,126 --> 01:40:52,424
In the sweet

2210
01:40:52,495 --> 01:40:55,931
By and by

2211
01:40:55,998 --> 01:41:01,765
We shall meet
on that beautiful shore