1
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,697
Hey!

2
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,206
I'll be right with you.

3
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:19,304
So, Cameron. Here you go.

4
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:23,058
Nine schools in 10 years.
My, my. Army brat?

5
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,727
- Yeah. My dad is...
- That's enough.

6
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:30,315
I'm sure you won't find Padua
any different than your old schools.

7
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:34,069
Same little ass-wipe shit-for-brains
everywhere.

8
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:41,076
Excuse me? Did you just say...
Am I in the right office?

9
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:43,912
Not any more, you're not. I've got
deviants to see and a novel to finish.

10
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,914
Now, scoot. Scoot!

11
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,708
Okay.

12
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,836
Thanks. Thanks a lot.

13
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:56,425
Patrick Verona.

14
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,094
I see we're making
our visits a weekly ritual.

15
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,764
Only so we can have these moments
together. Should I hit the lights?

16
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,434
Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy.

17
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:08,020
Says here you exposed yourself
in the cafeteria?

18
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,607
I was joking with the lunch lady.
It was a bratwurst.

19
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:12,941
Bratwurst?

20
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,236
Aren't we the optimist?

21
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,950
Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay?

22
00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:24,119
Scoot!

23
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:40,636
Hello! Michael Eckman.
I'm supposed to show you around.

24
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,888
Oh, hi. Thank God. You know...

25
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:45,807
Normally they send down
one of those audio visual geeks.

26
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,643
No, I do. I know what you mean.

27
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,311
Hey, Michael,
where should I put those slides?

28
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:53,482
Michael? So... Cameron.

29
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:57,819
Here's the breakdown. Over there,
we've got your basic beautiful people.

30
00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:01,323
Now listen. Unless they talk
to you first, don't bother.

31
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:04,409
- Wait. Is that your rule or theirs?
- Watch. Hey, there.

32
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,495
- Eat me.
- You see that?

33
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,499
To the left, we have the coffee kids.

34
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,085
- That was Costa Rican, butthead!
- Very edgy.

35
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,087
Don't make any sudden movements
around them.

36
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:17,673
These delusionals
are your white Rastas.

37
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,342
They're big Marley fans.
They think they're black.

38
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,344
- Semi-political, but mostly...
- Smoke a lot of weed?

39
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:25,597
- Yeah. These guys...
- Wait, wait. Let me guess. Cowboys?

40
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:29,309
Yeah, but the closest they've come
to a cow is McDonald's.

41
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,854
McDonald's.

42
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,857
These are your future MBAs.
We're all Ivy League accepted.

43
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,859
Yuppie greed is back, my friend.

44
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,862
- Hey, guys, how you doin'?
- Close it, Bogey!

45
00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:44,950
- Yesterday, I was their god.
- What happened?

46
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:48,870
Bogey Lowenstein
started a rumour that I...

47
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:52,040
That I buy my Izods at an outlet mall.

48
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,043
- So they kicked you out?
- Hostile takeover. But don't worry.

49
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:58,171
- He'll pay. Now, over here...
- Oh, my God.

50
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:09,558
- What group is she in?
- The "don't even think about it" group.

51
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,143
That's Bianca Stratford.
She's a sophomore.

52
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:13,562
I burn, I pine, I perish.

53
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:17,232
Of course you do.
You know, she's beautiful and deep.

54
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,692
I'm sure.

55
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:21,903
Yeah, but see, there's a difference
between like and love.

56
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:25,574
Because I like my Skechers,
but I love my Prada backpack.

57
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:28,076
But I love my Skechers.

58
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,329
That's because you don't have
a Prada backpack.

59
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:35,917
Listen, forget her.
Incredibly uptight father.

60
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,085
And it's a widely known fact that

61
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,921
the Stratford sisters
aren't allowed to date.

62
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:41,590
Yeah.

63
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:43,675
Whatever.

64
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:54,519
Okay, then. What did everyone
think of The Sun Also Rises?

65
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:58,273
I loved it. He's so romantic.

66
00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:00,525
Romantic? Hemingway?

67
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,528
He was an abusive, alcoholic
misogynist who squandered half his life

68
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:06,114
hanging around Picasso
trying to nail his leftovers.

69
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,785
As opposed to a bitter,
self-righteous hag who has no friends?

70
00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:13,789
Pipe down, Chachi.

71
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,209
I guess in this society,
being male and an asshole

72
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:19,127
makes you worthy of our time.

73
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,797
What about Sylvia Plath,

74
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,633
or Charlotte Bront�
or Simone de Beauvoir?

75
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,969
What'd I miss?

76
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:31,306
The oppressive patriarchal values
that dictate our education.

77
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,474
Good.

78
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,394
- Hey, hey!
- Mr Morgan.

79
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,729
Is there any chance we could get Kat
to take her Midol

80
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,773
before she comes to class?

81
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,818
Someday you're gonna get
bitch-slapped,

82
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,612
and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it.

83
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,990
And, Kat, I want to thank you
for your point of view.

84
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,576
I know how difficult it must be for you
to overcome all those years

85
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:54,413
of upper-middle class
suburban oppression.

86
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:55,997
Must be tough.

87
00:06:56,499 --> 00:07:00,168
But the next time you storm the P.T.A.,
crusading for better lunch meat,

88
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,170
or whatever it is
you white girls complain about,

89
00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:05,006
ask them why they can't buy a book
written by a black man!

90
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:08,718
- That's right, mon!
- Don't even get me started on you two.

91
00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:12,472
Anything else?

92
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:15,142
Yeah, go to the office.
You're pissing me off.

93
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,394
- What? Mr Morgan...
- Later!

94
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,861
Undulating with desire,

95
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:29,698
Adrienne removes her red...

96
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,544
Crimson cape

97
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,922
at the sight of Reginald's stiff and...

98
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:52,554
Judith!

99
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:57,184
What's another word for "engorged"?

100
00:07:58,102 --> 00:07:59,603
I'll look it up.

101
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:00,854
Okay.

102
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:06,568
- Swollen. Turgid.
- Tumescent?

103
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:08,862
Perfect.

104
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:13,408
So, I hear you were terrorising
Mr Morgan's class again.

105
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:18,288
Expressing my opinion
is not a terrorist action.

106
00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:21,374
The way you expressed your opinion
to Bobby Ridgeway?

107
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:24,503
By the way, his testicle
retrieval operation went quite well,

108
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,338
in case you're interested.

109
00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:29,716
I still maintain
that he kicked himself in the balls.

110
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,635
The point is, Kat...

111
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,305
Cat.

112
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,647
People perceive you as somewhat...

113
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:44,898
Tempestuous?

114
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:47,943
"Heinous bitch" is
the term used most often.

115
00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:52,739
You might want to work on that.

116
00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:55,784
Thank you.

117
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:59,412
As always, thank you
for your excellent guidance.

118
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:02,624
I'll let you get back
to Reginald's quivering member.

119
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:07,629
"Quivering member." I like that.

120
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,966
Virgin alert. Your favourite.

121
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,391
Lookin' good, ladies.

122
00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:22,143
Oh, she's out of reach, even for you.

123
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:25,981
- No one's out of reach for me.
- You wanna put money on that?

124
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:28,024
Money, I've got.

125
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,443
This I'm gonna do for fun.

126
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,949
- Who's that guy?
- That's Joey Donner.

127
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:38,618
He's a jerk off, and a model.

128
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,245
- He's a model?
- A model.

129
00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:43,582
Mostly regional stuff, but he's rumoured
to have a big tube sock ad coming out.

130
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,333
- Really?
- Really.

131
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:53,800
Man, look at her. Is she always so...

132
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:56,261
- Vapid?
- How can you say that? She's totally...

133
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:58,138
- Conceited.
- What are you talking about?

134
00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,015
There's more to her than you think.

135
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:04,436
Look at the way she smiles,
and look at her eyes, man.

136
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:08,857
She's totally pure.
You're missing what's there.

137
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,526
No, no, Cameron, no. What's there

138
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:15,947
is a snotty little princess wearing
a strategically planned sun dress

139
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:19,451
to make guys like us realise
that we can never touch her

140
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:22,370
and guys like Joey realise
that they want to.

141
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:26,082
She, my friend, is what we will spend
the rest of our lives not having.

142
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,168
Put her in your spank bank, move on.

143
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:31,087
- Move on.
- No, no. You're wrong about her.

144
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:33,506
I mean, you know,
not about the spanking part,

145
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,966
but the rest, you're wrong.

146
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:38,595
All right... I'm wrong?
You wanna take a shot, be my guest.

147
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,513
She's actually looking
for a French tutor.

148
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,682
Are you serious? That's perfect!

149
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,768
Do you speak French?

150
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,062
Well, no, but I will.

151
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:53,860
Hey. Your little Rambo look is out, Kat.

152
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:57,864
- Didn't you read last month's Cosmo?
- Run along.

153
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:04,412
I know you can be overwhelmed,
and you can be underwhelmed,

154
00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:06,706
but can you ever just be "whelmed"?

155
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:10,335
- I think you can in Europe.
- Hi, ladies.

156
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:13,213
Would you sweet young things
like a ride?

157
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,804
Careful on the leather.

158
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:27,227
That's a charming new development.

159
00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:28,937
It's disgusting.

160
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:35,151
Remove head from sphincter,
then drive!

161
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,575
- You okay?
- Yeah.

162
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,286
Just a minor encounter with the shrew.

163
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:48,915
- That's your girlfriend's sister.
- That's Bianca's sister?

164
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:52,293
The mewling, rampalian wretch herself.

165
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,296
- Stay cool, bro.
- Yeah, see you later.

166
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:57,757
Look out!

167
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:07,308
My balls! Oh, boy.

168
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:26,828
Yeah!

169
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,086
Hello, Katarina.
Make anyone cry today?

170
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:20,048
Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.

171
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:24,010
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hello, precious.

172
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,513
- And where have you been?
- Nowhere.

173
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:29,390
Hey, what's this?
It says Sarah Lawrence.

174
00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:37,565
I got in!

175
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:39,859
Honey, that's great,

176
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,986
but isn't Sarah Lawrence
on the other side of the country?

177
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,405
Thus the basis of its appeal.

178
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,699
I thought we decided you were
going to stay here and go to school.

179
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,077
"U-Dub," like me. Be a Husky.

180
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,872
No, you decided.

181
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:56,376
Oh, okay, so what, you just pick up
and leave, is that it?

182
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,919
Let's hope so.

183
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,463
Ask Bianca who drove her home.

184
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,674
Kat, don't change the...
Drove? Who drove you home?

185
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:05,260
Now, don't get upset, Daddy,
but there's this boy...

186
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:08,096
- Who's a flaming imbecile.
- And I think he might ask me...

187
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,056
Please. I think I know
what he's going to ask you.

188
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,976
And I think I know the answer. No.
It's always no.

189
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,769
What are the two house rules?

190
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,272
Number one,
no dating till you graduate.

191
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:20,108
Number two,
no dating till you graduate.

192
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:23,111
- That's it.
- Daddy, that's so unfair.

193
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:26,197
All right, you want to know
what's unfair? This is for you, too.

194
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,576
This morning I delivered a set of twins
to a 15-year-old girl.

195
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,202
Do you know what she said to me?

196
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,662
I'm a crack whore who should have

197
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,373
made my skeezy boyfriend
wear a condom?

198
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,627
Close, but no.

199
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:42,964
She said,
"I should have listened to my father."

200
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,592
- She did not.
- Well, that's what she would have said

201
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,719
if she wasn't so doped up.

202
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,055
Can we focus on me
for a second, please?

203
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,266
I am the only girl in school
who's not dating.

204
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:54,851
Oh, no, you're not.
Your sister doesn't date.

205
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,227
And I don't intend to.

206
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:57,937
And why is that again?

207
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:01,024
Have you seen the unwashed
miscreants that go to that school?

208
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,401
Where did you come from?
Planet Loser?

209
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,487
As opposed to
Planet Look At Me, Look At Me.

210
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:08,948
Okay, here's how we solve this one.

211
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:12,869
Old rule out. New rule, Bianca can date

212
00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:16,915
when she does.

213
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,085
But she's a mutant!
What if she never dates?

214
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,546
Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that.

215
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:26,007
And I'll get to sleep at night.

216
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:27,258
The deep slumber of a father

217
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,844
whose daughters aren't out
being impregnated.

218
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,848
- We'll talk about Sarah Lawrence later.
- Fine.

219
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,850
- Wait! Daddy!
- Gotta go.

220
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:39,812
Can't you just find
some blind, deaf retard

221
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:42,065
to take you to the movies
so I can have one date?

222
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,067
I'm sorry. Looks like
you'll just have to miss out

223
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:47,111
on the witty repartee
of Joey "Eat Me" Donner.

224
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,907
You suck.

225
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,713
Hi. Can we make this quick?

226
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,257
Roxanne Corinne and Andrew Jarrett
are having an incredibly horrendous

227
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,760
public break-up on the quad, again.

228
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,514
Oh, yeah, okay. I thought that we'd

229
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:17,934
start with pronunciation,
if that's all right with you.

230
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:21,437
Not the hacking and gagging
and spitting part, please.

231
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:24,107
Well, there is an alternative.

232
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,193
- There is?
- Yeah, French food.

233
00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:30,154
We could eat some together

234
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:33,074
Saturday night?

235
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:37,620
You're asking me out?

236
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,790
That's so cute.
What's your name again?

237
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,043
Cameron. Listen, I know
that your dad doesn't let you date,

238
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:46,379
but I thought
that if it was for French class...

239
00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:49,424
- Oh, wait a minute. Curtis...
- Cameron.

240
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:53,469
My dad just came up with a new rule.
I can date when my sister does.

241
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:56,139
You're kidding.
Let me ask you, do you like sailing?

242
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,849
'Cause I read about this place
that rents boats...

243
00:16:57,933 --> 00:16:59,767
A beaucoup problemo, Calvin.

244
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:04,522
In case you haven't heard, my sister's
a particularly hideous breed of loser.

245
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:08,776
Yeah. Yeah, I noticed
she's a little antisocial.

246
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,821
- Why is that?
- Unsolved mystery.

247
00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:14,407
She used to be really popular,
and then it was like

248
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,617
she got sick of it or something.

249
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:17,952
Theories abound as to why,

250
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,039
but I'm pretty sure she's just
incapable of human interaction.

251
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,041
Plus, she's a bitch.

252
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,919
Well, yeah, but I'm sure,
you know, that there are

253
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:30,965
lots of guys who wouldn't mind
going out with a difficult woman.

254
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:35,178
I mean, you know, people jump
out of airplanes and ski off cliffs.

255
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,473
It'd be like "Extreme Dating."

256
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,602
You think you could find
someone that extreme?

257
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,479
Yeah, sure, why not?

258
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:47,857
- And you'd do that for me?
- Hell, yes!

259
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:51,194
I mean, you know, I could look into it.

260
00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,912
Now, I have gathered a group of guys,
couldn't be more perfect.

261
00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:02,538
Padua's finest.

262
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,836
Hi. How you doin'?

263
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:13,841
Would any of you be interested
in dating Katarina Stratford?

264
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,681
I've never been that ripped.

265
00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:23,893
Maybe if we were
the last two people alive,

266
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,812
and there were no sheep.

267
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,021
Are there sheep?

268
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:37,323
Did I or did I not tell you
it was pointless?

269
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:39,408
No one will go out with her.

270
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,873
Hey, hey, what about him?

271
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:48,334
Him? No, don't...
Don't look at him, okay?

272
00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:52,547
He's a criminal.
I heard he lit a state trooper on fire.

273
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:56,551
- He just did a year in San Quentin.
- Well, at least he's horny.

274
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,303
I'm serious, man. He's whacked.

275
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:03,891
He sold his own liver on the
black market for a new set of speakers.

276
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:12,650
He's our guy.

277
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,253
Hi. How you doin'?

278
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,462
Listen, I...

279
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,759
Okay. Later, then.

280
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:48,436
How do we get him to date Kat?

281
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:50,980
I don't know.

282
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,108
I mean, we could pay him,

283
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,820
but we don't have any money.

284
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,448
Yeah, well, what we need is a backer.

285
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:04,285
- What's that?
- Someone with money who's stupid.

286
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,957
Oh, yeah.

287
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,302
Is that a peach Fruit Roll-Up?
Because you don't see many...

288
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,222
Oh, okay. Yeah. All right.

289
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,599
- Are you lost?
- No.

290
00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:28,643
Actually, I just came by to chat.

291
00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:32,188
- We don't chat.
- Well, actually, I thought

292
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:35,399
that I'd run an idea by you,
just to see if you're interested.

293
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,902
- I'm not.
- Well, hear me out.

294
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:40,988
Now, you want Bianca, right?

295
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:44,784
But she can't go out with you
because her sister

296
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:48,704
is this insane head case, and no one
will go out with her, right?

297
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,623
Does this conversation
have a purpose?

298
00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,708
What I think you need to do,

299
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:55,836
is you need to hire a guy
who'll go out with her.

300
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,464
Someone who doesn't scare so easily.

301
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:01,968
That guy?

302
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:06,722
- I heard he ate a live duck once.
- Everything but the beak and feet.

303
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:09,517
Clearly, he's a solid investment.

304
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,687
- What's in it for you?
- Hey.

305
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:16,732
I'm walking down the hall and
I say hello to you, you say hello to me.

306
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,860
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
You're cool by association.

307
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,322
I'll think about it.

308
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:28,911
- We're done now.
- Yeah.

309
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,334
What are you doing
getting him involved?

310
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:36,669
Relax, now. Relax.

311
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:38,671
We let him pretend
he's calling the shots.

312
00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:42,717
While he's busy setting things up,
you have time with Bianca.

313
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,929
That is a good idea. All right.

314
00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:52,059
I have a dick on my face, don't I?

315
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,024
Now, remember, guys,

316
00:21:58,525 --> 00:22:01,527
grip it and rip it.

317
00:22:15,375 --> 00:22:17,335
Hey. How you doin'?

318
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:23,966
I had some great duck last night.

319
00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:27,762
Do I know you?

320
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,431
You see that girl?

321
00:22:32,809 --> 00:22:34,894
- Yeah.
- That's Kat Stratford.

322
00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:37,229
I want you to go out with her.

323
00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,523
Yeah, sure, Sparky.

324
00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:45,404
Look, I can't take out her sister
until Kat starts dating.

325
00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:48,240
You see, their dad's whacked out.
He's got this rule where the girls...

326
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:51,660
That's a touching story. It really is.
Not my problem.

327
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,246
Would you be willing
to make it your problem

328
00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:56,791
if I provide generous compensation?

329
00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:01,420
You're gonna pay me
to take out some chick?

330
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:07,009
- How much?
- Twenty bucks.

331
00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:16,644
Fine, 30.

332
00:23:18,605 --> 00:23:20,481
Well, let's think about this.

333
00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:24,485
We go to the movies, that's 15 bucks.

334
00:23:26,780 --> 00:23:29,949
We get popcorn, that's 53.

335
00:23:31,159 --> 00:23:33,327
And she'll want Raisinets, right?

336
00:23:33,495 --> 00:23:37,206
So, we're looking at 75 bucks.

337
00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:41,252
This isn't a negotiation.
Take it or leave it, Trailer Park.

338
00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:44,422
Fifty bucks and we got a deal, Fabio.

339
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:51,637
Great practise, everybody.

340
00:23:51,721 --> 00:23:54,723
- Good hustle, Stratford.
- Thanks, Mr Chapin.

341
00:24:03,817 --> 00:24:06,777
Hey there, girlie. How you doin'?

342
00:24:07,237 --> 00:24:09,447
Sweating like a pig, actually.
And yourself?

343
00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:11,949
Now, there's a way to get
a guy's attention, huh?

344
00:24:12,492 --> 00:24:14,160
My mission in life.

345
00:24:14,244 --> 00:24:16,954
But obviously, I struck your fancy,
so, you see, it worked.

346
00:24:17,038 --> 00:24:18,706
The world makes sense again.

347
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:23,836
- Pick you up on Friday, then.
- Oh, right. Friday.

348
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:28,466
Well, the night I take you places
you've never been before.

349
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:30,759
Like where?
The 7-Eleven on Broadway?

350
00:24:30,844 --> 00:24:33,512
Do you even know
my name, screw boy?

351
00:24:33,597 --> 00:24:35,764
I know a lot more than you think.

352
00:24:35,849 --> 00:24:37,808
Doubtful. Very doubtful.

353
00:24:45,108 --> 00:24:46,192
We are screwed.

354
00:24:46,276 --> 00:24:48,235
Hey, I don't want to hear
that defeatist attitude.

355
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,363
- I want to hear you upbeat.
- We're screwed!

356
00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:53,491
- There you go.
- Hey, Coach Chapin!

357
00:24:58,955 --> 00:25:00,498
Run, Bogey!

358
00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:09,840
Have you ever considered a new look?

359
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:12,259
I mean, seriously. You could
have some definite potential

360
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:14,428
buried under all this hostility.

361
00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:17,223
I'm not hostile. I'm annoyed.

362
00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:19,391
Why don't you try being nice?

363
00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:21,310
People wouldn't know what to think.

364
00:25:21,394 --> 00:25:23,562
You forget,
I don't care what people think.

365
00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:25,022
Yes, you do.

366
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:26,899
No, I don't.

367
00:25:28,401 --> 00:25:31,070
You don't always have to be
who they want you to be, you know.

368
00:25:32,405 --> 00:25:35,157
I happen to like being adored,
thank you.

369
00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:37,618
Where'd you get the pearls?

370
00:25:37,702 --> 00:25:39,203
They're Mom's.

371
00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:42,414
And you've been what,
hiding them for three years?

372
00:25:42,499 --> 00:25:44,708
No. Daddy found them
in a drawer last week.

373
00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:46,752
So you're just gonna start
wearing them now?

374
00:25:46,836 --> 00:25:49,797
It's not like she's coming back
to claim them!

375
00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:54,593
Besides, they look good on me.

376
00:25:55,887 --> 00:25:57,680
Trust me. They don't.

377
00:26:03,186 --> 00:26:05,646
Nice ride. Vintage fenders.

378
00:26:05,897 --> 00:26:08,107
Are you following me?

379
00:26:08,191 --> 00:26:11,402
I was in the Laundromat.
I saw your car. I came over to say hi.

380
00:26:11,486 --> 00:26:12,570
Hi.

381
00:26:14,781 --> 00:26:17,700
- Not a big talker, huh?
- Depends on the topic.

382
00:26:17,784 --> 00:26:20,703
My fenders don't really whip me
into a verbal frenzy.

383
00:26:20,787 --> 00:26:24,498
- You're not afraid of me, are you?
- Why would I be afraid of you?

384
00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:27,084
- Well, most people are.
- Well, I'm not.

385
00:26:27,168 --> 00:26:28,210
Well, maybe you're not afraid of me,

386
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:31,130
but I'm sure
you've thought about me naked.

387
00:26:31,631 --> 00:26:33,507
Am I that transparent?

388
00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:36,468
I want you, I need you.
Oh, baby, oh, baby.

389
00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:48,230
What is it, asshole day?

390
00:26:48,898 --> 00:26:51,108
- Do you mind?
- Not at all.

391
00:27:01,828 --> 00:27:03,412
You bitch!

392
00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:08,667
Whoops.

393
00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:10,502
"Whoops"?

394
00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:14,173
My insurance does not cover PMS!

395
00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:18,969
Well, then tell them I had a seizure.

396
00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:20,137
Is this about Sarah Lawrence?

397
00:27:20,221 --> 00:27:22,389
Are you punishing me because
I want you to stay close to home?

398
00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:25,184
Aren't you punishing me
because Mom left?

399
00:27:25,268 --> 00:27:27,186
You think you could
leave her out of this?

400
00:27:27,270 --> 00:27:29,355
Fine.
Then stop making my decisions for me.

401
00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:31,357
I'm your father. That's my right.

402
00:27:31,441 --> 00:27:33,609
So what I want doesn't matter.

403
00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:35,361
You're 18.
You don't know what you want.

404
00:27:35,445 --> 00:27:37,696
And you won't know
what you want till you're 45,

405
00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:40,115
and even if you get it,
you'll be too old to use it.

406
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,034
I want to go to an East Coast school!

407
00:27:42,118 --> 00:27:43,702
I want you to trust me
to make my own choices,

408
00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:45,579
and I want you to stop trying
to control my life

409
00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:48,248
just because you can't control yours!

410
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,459
Yeah? Well, you know what I want?

411
00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:54,880
We'll continue this later.

412
00:27:54,964 --> 00:27:56,340
Can't wait.

413
00:27:58,843 --> 00:28:01,011
Did you just maim Joey's car?

414
00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:03,097
Yeah. Looks like you're gonna
have to take the bus.

415
00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:05,307
Has the fact
that you're completely psycho

416
00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:07,685
managed to escape your attention?

417
00:28:08,895 --> 00:28:10,104
Daddy!

418
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:19,279
- When I shell out 50, I expect results.
- Yeah, I'm on it.

419
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:22,908
Watching that bitch violate my car
doesn't count as a date.

420
00:28:22,992 --> 00:28:25,953
Now, if you don't get any,
I don't get any.

421
00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:28,372
So get some.

422
00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,542
I just upped my price.

423
00:28:32,085 --> 00:28:34,753
- What?
- Hundred bucks a date.

424
00:28:35,588 --> 00:28:38,674
- In advance.
- Forget it.

425
00:28:38,925 --> 00:28:41,176
Well, forget her sister, then.

426
00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:49,309
You better hope you're as smooth
as you think you are, Verona.

427
00:29:01,030 --> 00:29:02,448
- Go.
- No, you go.

428
00:29:02,532 --> 00:29:04,074
I went before.

429
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:15,627
We know what you're trying to do
with Kat Stratford.

430
00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:18,797
Is that right?
What do you plan to do about it?

431
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:21,133
- Help you out.
- Why's that?

432
00:29:22,969 --> 00:29:24,303
The situation is,

433
00:29:24,387 --> 00:29:28,348
my man Cameron here
has a major jones for Bianca Stratford.

434
00:29:29,642 --> 00:29:31,769
What is it with this chick?
She have beer-flavoured nipples?

435
00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:35,439
- Hey!
- I... I think I speak correctly

436
00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:38,150
when I say that Cameron's love is pure,

437
00:29:38,234 --> 00:29:40,068
purer than, say, Joey Donner's.

438
00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:42,404
I'm in this for the cash.
Donner can plow whoever he wants.

439
00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:44,823
Okay, there will be no plowing.

440
00:29:45,492 --> 00:29:47,493
Patrick... Pat...

441
00:29:48,077 --> 00:29:50,204
Let me explain something to you here.

442
00:29:50,288 --> 00:29:54,166
We set this whole thing up
so Cameron can get the girl. Cameron.

443
00:29:54,250 --> 00:29:56,043
Joey's just a pawn.

444
00:29:59,506 --> 00:30:01,340
So, you two are gonna
help me tame the wild beast.

445
00:30:01,424 --> 00:30:02,549
Absolutely.

446
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:05,636
We'll do some research,
we'll find out what she likes.

447
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,387
We're your guys.

448
00:30:07,472 --> 00:30:11,683
And he means that in
a strictly non-prison movie type of way.

449
00:30:13,561 --> 00:30:14,770
Let's start here.

450
00:30:14,854 --> 00:30:18,524
Now, Friday night,
Bogey Lowenstein is having a party.

451
00:30:18,608 --> 00:30:20,734
It's the perfect opportunity.

452
00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:24,488
- Perfect opportunity for what?
- For you to take out Kat.

453
00:30:26,533 --> 00:30:28,200
I'll think about it.

454
00:30:29,536 --> 00:30:32,204
And for a little payback.

455
00:30:32,622 --> 00:30:34,748
This is gonna be some party.

456
00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:45,884
Let's do this.

457
00:31:06,739 --> 00:31:09,366
Now, this is really important, okay?

458
00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:11,994
Which one do you like better?

459
00:31:16,416 --> 00:31:19,751
I think I like the white shirt better.

460
00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:22,337
- Yeah, it's... It's more...
- Pensive?

461
00:31:23,715 --> 00:31:26,216
Damn. I was going for thoughtful.

462
00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:27,926
So, are you going to
Bogey Lowenbrau's thing

463
00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:29,469
on Friday night?

464
00:31:29,554 --> 00:31:31,221
Yeah, I might.

465
00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:35,392
Good, 'cause you know, I'm not
gonna bother if you won't be there.

466
00:31:38,605 --> 00:31:39,980
See you there.

467
00:31:40,064 --> 00:31:41,773
- Okay.
- All right.

468
00:31:58,374 --> 00:32:01,460
So, have you heard
about Bogey Lowenstein's party?

469
00:32:01,544 --> 00:32:05,505
Yes, and I really, really,
really want to go.

470
00:32:05,632 --> 00:32:09,217
But you know I can't.
Not unless my sister does.

471
00:32:09,302 --> 00:32:11,720
Yeah, I know.
I'm working on that, but so far,

472
00:32:11,804 --> 00:32:14,348
you know, she's not going for my guy.

473
00:32:14,641 --> 00:32:17,893
- She's not a...
- K.D. Lang fan? No.

474
00:32:18,019 --> 00:32:20,520
I found a picture of Jared Leto
in her drawer once,

475
00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:23,857
so I'm pretty sure she's not
harbouring same-sex tendencies.

476
00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:27,945
Okay, so that's the kind of guys
she likes... Like, pretty guys.

477
00:32:28,029 --> 00:32:29,655
I don't know. All I've ever heard her say

478
00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:32,950
is that she'd die
before dating a guy that smokes.

479
00:32:33,159 --> 00:32:35,202
Okay, all right, no smoking. What else?

480
00:32:35,286 --> 00:32:37,204
You're asking me
to investigate the inner workings

481
00:32:37,288 --> 00:32:39,164
of my sister's twisted mind?

482
00:32:39,248 --> 00:32:41,208
I don't think so.

483
00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:43,001
Well, nothing else has worked.

484
00:32:43,086 --> 00:32:45,837
We need to go
behind enemy lines here.

485
00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:52,219
Okay, here we go.

486
00:32:53,596 --> 00:32:55,639
Class schedule, reading list,

487
00:32:55,723 --> 00:32:59,267
date book, concert tickets,
concert tickets.

488
00:33:04,857 --> 00:33:07,067
Black panties!

489
00:33:07,151 --> 00:33:09,111
What does that tell us?

490
00:33:09,404 --> 00:33:11,697
She wants to have sex someday,
that's what.

491
00:33:11,781 --> 00:33:14,116
You... She could just like the colour.

492
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,244
You don't buy black lingerie
unless you want someone to see it.

493
00:33:19,664 --> 00:33:23,667
So... Can I see your room?

494
00:33:25,169 --> 00:33:26,253
No.

495
00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:32,217
A girl's room is very personal.

496
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:34,761
Oh, okay.

497
00:33:46,357 --> 00:33:48,734
- Nice bike.
- Yeah, you think so?

498
00:34:03,624 --> 00:34:06,043
Wow. Is this what a bar looks like?

499
00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:10,756
Don't touch anything.
You may get hepatitis.

500
00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:23,685
So, what have you got for me?

501
00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:27,355
A little insight
into a very complicated girl.

502
00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:31,026
Excuse me.
Just one question before we start.

503
00:34:31,152 --> 00:34:34,112
Should you be drinking alcohol
when you don't have a liver?

504
00:34:34,197 --> 00:34:36,198
- What?
- Nothing. Nothing.

505
00:34:37,950 --> 00:34:41,953
All right, first thing. Kat hates smokers.

506
00:34:45,124 --> 00:34:48,627
So, you're telling me I'm a non-smoker.

507
00:34:48,711 --> 00:34:53,090
- Yes. Well, just for now.
- And here's another problem.

508
00:34:53,174 --> 00:34:56,843
Bianca said that Kat likes pretty guys.

509
00:35:04,435 --> 00:35:06,478
Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?

510
00:35:06,562 --> 00:35:07,813
He's very pretty!

511
00:35:07,897 --> 00:35:11,650
- This is a gorgeous guy.
- I just wasn't sure. I didn't know.

512
00:35:14,070 --> 00:35:16,780
All right. Yeah, okay. Here's this.

513
00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:20,158
"Likes.

514
00:35:20,535 --> 00:35:24,621
"Thai food, feminist prose
and angry girl music

515
00:35:24,705 --> 00:35:27,040
"of the indie rock persuasion."

516
00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:29,835
Here's a list of CDs
she has in her room.

517
00:35:32,505 --> 00:35:34,506
So, I'm supposed to buy her
some noodles and a book

518
00:35:34,590 --> 00:35:37,384
and sit around listening to chicks
who can't play their instruments, right?

519
00:35:37,468 --> 00:35:39,886
Have you ever been to Club Skunk?

520
00:35:40,012 --> 00:35:42,681
Her favourite band's
playing there tomorrow night.

521
00:35:42,765 --> 00:35:45,016
I can't be seen at Club Skunk, all right?

522
00:35:45,101 --> 00:35:46,852
But she'll be there. She's got tickets.

523
00:35:46,936 --> 00:35:49,271
Assail your ears for one night.

524
00:35:52,275 --> 00:35:54,943
She has a pair of black underwear.

525
00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:57,195
If that helps.

526
00:35:57,738 --> 00:35:59,531
Couldn't hurt, right?

527
00:37:16,901 --> 00:37:19,277
Verona! What are you doing here?

528
00:37:20,279 --> 00:37:21,696
I need agua!

529
00:37:27,912 --> 00:37:29,496
Two waters.

530
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:40,131
If you're planning on asking me out,
you might as well just get it over with.

531
00:37:40,216 --> 00:37:43,635
Do you mind?
You're kind of ruining this for me.

532
00:37:43,886 --> 00:37:46,096
You're not surrounded by
your usual cloud of smoke.

533
00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:49,140
I know. I quit.
Apparently they're bad for you.

534
00:37:49,225 --> 00:37:50,600
You think?

535
00:37:52,436 --> 00:37:55,647
You know, these guys
are no Bikini Kill or the Raincoats.

536
00:37:55,731 --> 00:37:57,732
But they're not bad.

537
00:38:01,570 --> 00:38:04,739
- You know who the Raincoats are?
- Why, don't you?

538
00:38:07,410 --> 00:38:10,578
I was watching you out there before.
I've never seen you look so sexy.

539
00:38:20,339 --> 00:38:24,384
- Come to Bogey's party with me.
- You never give up, do you?

540
00:38:26,595 --> 00:38:27,804
Was that a yes?

541
00:38:27,888 --> 00:38:31,182
- No.
- Well, then, was that a no?

542
00:38:31,267 --> 00:38:34,352
- No.
- I'll see you at 9:30 then!

543
00:38:45,448 --> 00:38:47,615
Should have used the window.

544
00:38:48,367 --> 00:38:50,035
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi.

545
00:38:51,662 --> 00:38:53,330
Where are we going?

546
00:38:53,414 --> 00:38:56,875
Well, if you must know,
a small study group of friends.

547
00:38:57,043 --> 00:38:59,210
Otherwise known as an orgy?

548
00:38:59,503 --> 00:39:01,546
Mr Stratford, it's just a party.

549
00:39:01,630 --> 00:39:03,673
And hell is just a sauna.

550
00:39:04,717 --> 00:39:07,052
Do you know anything about a party?

551
00:39:07,219 --> 00:39:10,972
- People expect me to be there.
- Kat's not going, you're not going.

552
00:39:11,057 --> 00:39:13,391
Why can't you be normal?

553
00:39:13,476 --> 00:39:16,227
- Define "normal."
- Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal.

554
00:39:16,312 --> 00:39:18,897
- What's a Bogey Lowenstein?
- Bogey's party is just a lame excuse

555
00:39:18,981 --> 00:39:20,690
for all the idiots at our school
to drink beer

556
00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:22,150
and rub up against each other

557
00:39:22,234 --> 00:39:24,361
in hopes of distracting themselves
from the pathetic emptiness

558
00:39:24,445 --> 00:39:25,528
of their meaningless...

559
00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:28,406
- Meaningless, consumer-driven lives.
- Meaningless, consumer-driven lives.

560
00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:31,117
Can you, for just one night,

561
00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:34,662
forget that you're completely wretched
and be my sister?

562
00:39:34,914 --> 00:39:39,125
Please?

563
00:39:41,837 --> 00:39:44,881
Come on, Kat. Please do this for me.

564
00:39:47,259 --> 00:39:49,135
Fine. I'll make an appearance.

565
00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:57,977
- It's starting.
- It's just a party, Daddy.

566
00:40:01,023 --> 00:40:03,233
I want you to wear the belly.

567
00:40:03,567 --> 00:40:04,943
Daddy, no.

568
00:40:05,569 --> 00:40:07,070
Not all night.

569
00:40:07,154 --> 00:40:10,031
Just around the living room for a minute
so you can understand

570
00:40:10,116 --> 00:40:12,742
the full weight of your decisions.

571
00:40:14,787 --> 00:40:16,955
- I am perfectly aware...
- Listen to me.

572
00:40:17,039 --> 00:40:19,374
Every time you even think
about kissing a boy,

573
00:40:19,458 --> 00:40:22,168
I want you to picture wearing this
under your halter top.

574
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:24,337
You are so completely unbalanced.

575
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:27,298
- We're going now.
- All right, wait a minute.

576
00:40:27,633 --> 00:40:29,551
No drinking, no drugs, no kissing,

577
00:40:29,635 --> 00:40:33,847
no tattoos, no piercings,
no ritual animal slaughters of any kind.

578
00:40:34,181 --> 00:40:36,141
Oh, God, I'm giving them ideas.

579
00:40:36,642 --> 00:40:37,851
Daddy!

580
00:40:38,936 --> 00:40:41,479
- What are you doing here?
- 9:30, right?

581
00:40:41,647 --> 00:40:44,983
- Oh, I'm early.
- Whatever. I'm driving.

582
00:40:46,193 --> 00:40:48,153
Who knocked up your sister?

583
00:40:51,323 --> 00:40:53,700
So then, Bianca says that I was right,

584
00:40:53,784 --> 00:40:56,453
that she didn't wear the Kenneth Coles
with that dress

585
00:40:56,537 --> 00:41:00,165
because she thought that it was
mixing genres, right?

586
00:41:00,332 --> 00:41:04,127
And the fact that I noticed,
and this is a direct quote, listen,

587
00:41:04,211 --> 00:41:06,504
"Really meant something."

588
00:41:06,589 --> 00:41:08,840
You told me that part already.

589
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:10,800
I've been thinking about her
all the time.

590
00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:15,430
Stop being so self-involved
for one minute. How do I look?

591
00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:18,933
You look like my Great Uncle Milton.

592
00:41:19,185 --> 00:41:21,394
- You think I should lose the tie?
- Yeah.

593
00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:24,063
Maybe you're right. I'm just so nervous.

594
00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:27,025
And I'm also very excited.
I'm nervous, I'm excited.

595
00:41:27,193 --> 00:41:28,985
It's all very mixed up.
I don't know what to do!

596
00:41:29,069 --> 00:41:31,779
All right, just calm down, all right?

597
00:41:32,198 --> 00:41:35,116
The last party I went to
was at Chuck E. Cheese.

598
00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:39,078
You want to talk about some fun.
That's a good time.

599
00:42:02,895 --> 00:42:05,730
Now, remember, guys.
Don't touch anything.

600
00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:10,735
What did I tell you?

601
00:42:12,905 --> 00:42:15,114
Must be Nigel with the Brie.

602
00:42:41,767 --> 00:42:44,894
You know, I'm...
I'm thinking of getting a Tercel.

603
00:42:46,063 --> 00:42:47,981
Yeah, that's a Toyota.

604
00:42:49,775 --> 00:42:53,278
It has dual side air bags
and a spacious back seat.

605
00:43:00,077 --> 00:43:02,370
- Kiss me!
- Kiss him.

606
00:43:02,454 --> 00:43:03,913
- Okay.
- Good.

607
00:43:08,127 --> 00:43:09,210
Hey, thanks, man!

608
00:43:13,173 --> 00:43:14,465
Sweet.

609
00:43:15,509 --> 00:43:17,885
Looking fresh tonight, pussycat.

610
00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:21,681
Wait. Was that...
Did your hairline just recede?

611
00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:25,101
- Hey, where are you goin'?
- Away.

612
00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:27,979
- Your sister here?
- Stay away from my sister.

613
00:43:28,063 --> 00:43:30,690
Oh, I'll stay away from your sister.

614
00:43:30,816 --> 00:43:33,151
But I can't guarantee
she'll stay away from me.

615
00:43:33,652 --> 00:43:37,488
- Fight!
- Fight!

616
00:43:45,164 --> 00:43:47,040
You guys, please! Take it outside!

617
00:43:53,088 --> 00:43:54,547
Thank you!

618
00:43:56,967 --> 00:43:59,677
Hey, Kat. Look who found me.

619
00:44:01,180 --> 00:44:04,390
- Bianca, wait.
- Please do not address me in public.

620
00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:05,683
No, there's something I need to tell you.

621
00:44:05,768 --> 00:44:10,104
I am busy enjoying my adolescence,
so scamper off and do the same.

622
00:44:10,189 --> 00:44:11,356
Bu-bye.

623
00:44:14,902 --> 00:44:16,152
Want one?

624
00:44:17,071 --> 00:44:19,489
- What is this?
- Right on, sister!

625
00:44:20,824 --> 00:44:22,867
I've been looking
all over the place for you.

626
00:44:22,951 --> 00:44:25,662
I'm getting trashed, man. Isn't that
what you're supposed to do at a party?

627
00:44:25,746 --> 00:44:28,039
I don't know.
I say do what you want to do.

628
00:44:28,123 --> 00:44:30,124
Funny. You're the only one.

629
00:44:30,501 --> 00:44:31,709
Later.

630
00:44:44,431 --> 00:44:46,974
Lord of the dance! Hi, Heather.

631
00:44:47,059 --> 00:44:49,894
- Bite me.
- Should've kept the tie.

632
00:44:50,062 --> 00:44:52,939
Hey. Hey, have you seen her
around anywhere?

633
00:44:53,148 --> 00:44:55,191
- Relax.
- Relax? I'm fine.

634
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:57,860
Follow the love.

635
00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:02,323
Hi, Bianca.

636
00:45:03,283 --> 00:45:04,951
Oh, hi, Cameron.

637
00:45:07,329 --> 00:45:09,288
You know Chastity?

638
00:45:10,332 --> 00:45:13,584
Yeah. I think
we have art together, right?

639
00:45:13,669 --> 00:45:14,836
Neat.

640
00:45:16,755 --> 00:45:18,756
So, you...

641
00:45:19,425 --> 00:45:21,384
You really look amazing.

642
00:45:22,761 --> 00:45:25,596
- Thanks.
- And we all know I look amazing.

643
00:45:27,141 --> 00:45:28,224
Yeah.

644
00:45:28,308 --> 00:45:32,145
Bianca, let's go. We're all
congregating around Mr Cuervo.

645
00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:34,897
I'll see you around, okay?

646
00:45:47,786 --> 00:45:49,704
So, I've got
the Sears catalogue thing going,

647
00:45:49,788 --> 00:45:53,040
and the tube sock gig,
that is gonna be huge.

648
00:45:55,961 --> 00:45:58,296
And I'm up for
a haemorrhoid cream ad next week.

649
00:45:58,380 --> 00:46:00,882
I know it sounds kind of bogus, but...

650
00:46:00,966 --> 00:46:03,009
I get to do some acting.

651
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,603
You see what I did there?

652
00:46:14,813 --> 00:46:18,024
That was underwear. I'll show you
the bathing suit one again.

653
00:46:20,986 --> 00:46:22,904
You see the difference?

654
00:46:24,573 --> 00:46:26,491
All right, I'll show you guys.

655
00:46:57,356 --> 00:47:00,024
Is it me, or does this party
all of a sudden suck?

656
00:47:06,824 --> 00:47:08,950
Really, really,

657
00:47:09,076 --> 00:47:10,451
thank you!

658
00:47:11,370 --> 00:47:13,913
Hey. Hey, Kat, why don't you
let me have this one, huh?

659
00:47:13,997 --> 00:47:15,790
No! This one's mine.

660
00:47:16,917 --> 00:47:19,877
My man! How did you get her to do it?

661
00:47:19,962 --> 00:47:21,671
- Do what?
- Act like a human.

662
00:47:24,132 --> 00:47:25,716
Yeah! All right!

663
00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:27,593
Go!

664
00:47:32,307 --> 00:47:33,724
See this?

665
00:48:05,966 --> 00:48:08,009
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

666
00:48:10,929 --> 00:48:12,930
You're not fine. Come on.

667
00:48:14,683 --> 00:48:15,933
I just need to lie down.

668
00:48:16,018 --> 00:48:18,311
You lie down and you'll go to sleep.

669
00:48:18,395 --> 00:48:21,063
- Sleep is good.
- Not if you have a concussion.

670
00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:23,232
Come on. Here, sit down.

671
00:48:24,568 --> 00:48:27,111
- Sit.
- Hey, hey, we need to talk.

672
00:48:27,195 --> 00:48:30,781
- I'm a little busy right now.
- Can you give me a second?

673
00:48:35,037 --> 00:48:37,246
- What?
- It's off, okay? The whole thing's off.

674
00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:39,415
What are you talking about?

675
00:48:40,125 --> 00:48:43,169
She never wanted me.
She wanted Joey the whole time.

676
00:48:43,253 --> 00:48:45,421
Cameron, do you like the girl?

677
00:48:45,881 --> 00:48:48,799
- Yeah.
- And is she worth all this trouble?

678
00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:50,801
I thought she was, but, you know, I...

679
00:48:50,886 --> 00:48:52,803
Well, she is or she isn't.

680
00:48:52,888 --> 00:48:55,473
See, first of all,
Joey is not half the man you are.

681
00:48:55,557 --> 00:48:57,475
Secondly, don't let anyone
ever make you feel

682
00:48:57,559 --> 00:49:00,186
like you don't deserve what you want.

683
00:49:00,729 --> 00:49:02,104
Go for it!

684
00:49:06,068 --> 00:49:07,610
- Come on.
- Why?

685
00:49:18,413 --> 00:49:19,580
This is so patronising.

686
00:49:19,665 --> 00:49:22,249
Leave it to you to use
big words when you're smashed.

687
00:49:22,334 --> 00:49:25,336
- I don't think so.
- Kat.

688
00:49:27,172 --> 00:49:30,257
- Why are you doing this?
- I told you. You may have a concussion.

689
00:49:30,342 --> 00:49:31,884
You don't care if I never wake up.

690
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:34,011
- Sure I do.
- Why?

691
00:49:34,262 --> 00:49:37,181
Because then I'd have to start
taking out girls who actually like me.

692
00:49:37,265 --> 00:49:39,392
- Like you could find one.
- Oh, see? That, there.

693
00:49:39,476 --> 00:49:41,560
Who needs affection
when I have blind hatred?

694
00:49:41,645 --> 00:49:45,106
- I just... Let me sit down for a while.
- All right. There.

695
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,623
- So, why'd you let him get to you?
- Who?

696
00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:04,917
- Joey.
- I hate him.

697
00:50:07,045 --> 00:50:10,673
Well, you've chosen the perfect
revenge, mainlining tequila.

698
00:50:12,050 --> 00:50:15,511
- Well, you know what they say.
- Nope. What do they say?

699
00:50:16,722 --> 00:50:19,932
No, no, no, no. Kat, come on, wake up!
Look at me!

700
00:50:20,475 --> 00:50:23,019
Listen to me, Kat! Open your eyes!

701
00:50:28,942 --> 00:50:30,067
Hey.

702
00:50:31,069 --> 00:50:33,237
Your eyes have a little green in them.

703
00:50:51,256 --> 00:50:52,673
I don't know if we should go.

704
00:50:52,758 --> 00:50:55,676
Hey, a bunch of us
are going to Jarrett's. Ready?

705
00:50:55,761 --> 00:50:58,262
I have to be home in 20 minutes.

706
00:50:58,430 --> 00:51:01,682
Well, you know I don't have to be home
till 2:00, so...

707
00:51:02,017 --> 00:51:05,728
- One more chance.
- Man, I can't.

708
00:51:05,937 --> 00:51:07,980
- Damn.
- That's a shame.

709
00:51:09,357 --> 00:51:11,275
- You wanna go?
- Sure.

710
00:51:11,359 --> 00:51:13,444
- Chastity!
- Hey, you passed.

711
00:51:14,529 --> 00:51:15,738
Bitch.

712
00:51:20,327 --> 00:51:22,828
- Hey. Have fun tonight?
- Tons.

713
00:51:23,872 --> 00:51:26,082
Hey, Cameron?

714
00:51:27,459 --> 00:51:30,419
Do you think you could
give me a ride home?

715
00:51:33,924 --> 00:51:35,633
I should do this.

716
00:51:35,717 --> 00:51:37,426
- Do what?
- This!

717
00:51:38,637 --> 00:51:41,472
- Start a band?
- No, install car stereos.

718
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:45,142
Yeah, start a band.
My father would love that.

719
00:51:58,532 --> 00:52:02,493
You don't strike me as the type that
would ask your father for permission.

720
00:52:02,577 --> 00:52:05,996
- Oh, so now you think you know me?
- I'm getting there.

721
00:52:06,081 --> 00:52:09,500
The only thing people know
about me is that I'm scary.

722
00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:13,504
Yeah, well, I'm no picnic myself.

723
00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:25,516
So what's up with your dad?
Is he... Is he a pain in the ass?

724
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,977
No, he just wants me to be
somebody that I'm not.

725
00:52:28,061 --> 00:52:29,770
- Who?
- Bianca.

726
00:52:29,855 --> 00:52:31,272
Oh, Bianca.

727
00:52:35,110 --> 00:52:38,070
No offence or anything... I mean
I know everyone "digs" your sister,

728
00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:40,865
but she's without.

729
00:52:48,373 --> 00:52:49,623
You know,

730
00:52:51,710 --> 00:52:54,461
you're not as vile
as I thought you were.

731
00:53:05,098 --> 00:53:07,808
Maybe we should do this another time.

732
00:53:52,395 --> 00:53:55,481
You never wanted
to go sailing with me, did you?

733
00:53:56,983 --> 00:53:58,275
Yes, I did.

734
00:53:59,694 --> 00:54:01,153
No, you didn't.

735
00:54:02,906 --> 00:54:05,532
Okay, no, not actually...

736
00:54:05,617 --> 00:54:08,327
Well, then that's all you had to say.

737
00:54:10,538 --> 00:54:12,998
Have you always been this selfish?

738
00:54:16,127 --> 00:54:17,503
Yes.

739
00:54:21,424 --> 00:54:22,758
You know, just 'cause you're beautiful,

740
00:54:22,842 --> 00:54:27,012
that doesn't mean that you can
treat people like they don't matter.

741
00:54:27,264 --> 00:54:30,099
I mean, I really liked you, okay.

742
00:54:30,183 --> 00:54:33,018
I defended you
when people called you conceited,

743
00:54:33,103 --> 00:54:35,187
I helped you when you asked me to,

744
00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:39,441
I learnt French for you and then
you just blow me off so you could...

745
00:55:09,764 --> 00:55:11,849
And I'm back in the game!

746
00:55:15,312 --> 00:55:19,606
Kat, me lady.
You sway to the rhythm of me heart.

747
00:55:19,899 --> 00:55:21,608
Dance for me, cowgirl.

748
00:55:21,735 --> 00:55:24,987
Kat, babe, what do we owe you
for the table dance?

749
00:55:26,114 --> 00:55:28,574
All right, not that I give a damn,
but how was everybody's weekend?

750
00:55:28,658 --> 00:55:31,452
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe we should ask Kat.

751
00:55:32,037 --> 00:55:34,163
Unless she kicked the crap
out of your dumb butt,

752
00:55:34,247 --> 00:55:36,206
I don't wanna hear about it.

753
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:41,045
Okay, let's open up our books
to page 73, Sonnet 141.

754
00:55:41,129 --> 00:55:42,588
And listen up.

755
00:55:42,672 --> 00:55:44,631
"In faith, I do not love thee
with mine eyes

756
00:55:44,716 --> 00:55:46,842
"For they in thee
a thousand errors note

757
00:55:46,926 --> 00:55:49,053
"But 'tis my heart that loves
what they despise

758
00:55:49,137 --> 00:55:51,972
"Who, in despite of view,
is pleas'd to dote"

759
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:56,769
Now, I know Shakespeare's
a dead white guy,

760
00:55:56,853 --> 00:55:59,396
but he knows his shit,
so we can overlook that.

761
00:55:59,481 --> 00:56:02,232
I want you all to write
your own version of this sonnet.

762
00:56:04,652 --> 00:56:07,696
Yes, Miss I-Have-An-Opinion-
About-Everything?

763
00:56:07,864 --> 00:56:10,491
Do you want this in iambic pentameter?

764
00:56:11,326 --> 00:56:13,035
You're not gonna fight me on this?

765
00:56:13,119 --> 00:56:15,871
No, I think
it's a really good assignment.

766
00:56:16,831 --> 00:56:18,207
You're just
messin' with me, aren't you?

767
00:56:18,291 --> 00:56:21,126
No, I'm really looking forward
to writing it.

768
00:56:21,211 --> 00:56:22,461
Get out of my class.

769
00:56:22,545 --> 00:56:24,880
- What?
- Out. Get out!

770
00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:34,098
- Thanks, Mr Morgan.
- Shut up.

771
00:56:57,831 --> 00:57:00,707
Hey. Cool picture.

772
00:57:01,709 --> 00:57:04,461
What's that collar for? Is that
to keep him from licking his stitches?

773
00:57:08,091 --> 00:57:12,177
Kidding. No, because I know
you're a fan of Shakespeare.

774
00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:15,556
More than a fan. We're involved.

775
00:57:16,516 --> 00:57:17,683
Okay.

776
00:57:19,352 --> 00:57:22,312
"Who could refrain
That had a heart to love

777
00:57:23,064 --> 00:57:26,650
- "and in that heart..."
- "Courage to make love known."

778
00:57:27,527 --> 00:57:29,945
- That's Macbeth, right?
- Right.

779
00:57:32,323 --> 00:57:35,284
So, listen, I... I have this friend,

780
00:57:36,327 --> 00:57:38,328
and he likes your friend...

781
00:57:45,712 --> 00:57:47,546
What did you do to her?

782
00:57:47,630 --> 00:57:49,923
I didn't do anything. She would've been
too drunk to remember.

783
00:57:50,008 --> 00:57:51,800
But the plan was working.

784
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:54,678
What do you care?
I thought you wanted out.

785
00:57:55,013 --> 00:57:57,473
Yeah, well, I did, but

786
00:57:57,557 --> 00:57:59,683
that was until she kissed me.

787
00:58:01,019 --> 00:58:03,145
- Where?
- In the car.

788
00:58:06,566 --> 00:58:07,649
Sorry.

789
00:58:07,734 --> 00:58:09,568
- Dweeb! Putz!
- I'm sorry.

790
00:58:09,652 --> 00:58:11,570
All right, I talked to her.

791
00:58:11,654 --> 00:58:12,905
- I got the scoop.
- What'd she say?

792
00:58:12,989 --> 00:58:15,449
"Hates him with the fire
of a thousand suns."

793
00:58:15,533 --> 00:58:17,367
That's a direct quote.

794
00:58:17,869 --> 00:58:21,038
Thanks, Michael.
That's very comforting of you.

795
00:58:21,831 --> 00:58:24,958
We don't know.
She could need a day to cool off.

796
00:58:31,841 --> 00:58:33,217
Maybe two.

797
00:58:43,144 --> 00:58:44,186
Hey!

798
00:58:44,270 --> 00:58:48,065
Can you imagine who would go
to that antiquated mating ritual?

799
00:58:48,274 --> 00:58:50,609
I would, but I don't have a date.

800
00:58:51,027 --> 00:58:52,402
Do you really want
to get all dressed up,

801
00:58:52,487 --> 00:58:55,906
so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter
with a boner can feel you up

802
00:58:55,990 --> 00:58:59,201
while you're forced to listen
to a band that by definition blows?

803
00:58:59,285 --> 00:59:01,203
All right, all right, we won't go.

804
00:59:01,287 --> 00:59:03,872
It's not like I've got a dress anyway.

805
00:59:04,332 --> 00:59:06,792
You're looking at this
from entirely the wrong perspective.

806
00:59:06,876 --> 00:59:08,377
We're making a statement.

807
00:59:08,461 --> 00:59:11,880
Oh, goody.
Something new and different for us.

808
00:59:29,148 --> 00:59:32,609
- Hey there, Cupid.
- Hi, Joey.

809
00:59:33,069 --> 00:59:36,405
You're concentrating awfully hard
considering it's gym class.

810
00:59:37,323 --> 00:59:40,450
- Can I help you?
- I want to talk to you about prom.

811
00:59:46,082 --> 00:59:49,084
Look, you know the deal.
I can't go if Kat doesn't go.

812
00:59:49,168 --> 00:59:51,086
Your sister is going.

813
00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:56,258
- Since when?
- Let's just say I'm taking care of it.

814
01:00:01,347 --> 01:00:04,808
This should take care of the
flowers, the limo, the tux, everything.

815
01:00:04,892 --> 01:00:07,352
Just make sure she gets to the prom.

816
01:00:07,729 --> 01:00:11,023
Do you know what?
I'm sick of playing your little game.

817
01:00:11,107 --> 01:00:12,941
Okay, wait, wait, wait.

818
01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:16,445
You sick of, let's say, 300?

819
01:01:39,112 --> 01:01:41,113
Excuse me. Have you
seen The Feminine Mystique?

820
01:01:41,197 --> 01:01:42,322
I've lost my copy.

821
01:01:42,407 --> 01:01:45,492
- What are you doing here?
- I heard there was a poetry reading.

822
01:01:45,576 --> 01:01:47,494
- You're so...
- Charming.

823
01:01:48,413 --> 01:01:50,205
Wholesome.

824
01:01:50,289 --> 01:01:51,790
Unwelcome.

825
01:01:54,544 --> 01:01:56,878
You're not as mean as you think
you are, you know that?

826
01:01:56,963 --> 01:01:59,381
And you're not as badass
as you think you are.

827
01:01:59,465 --> 01:02:01,800
Someone still has her panties in a twist.

828
01:02:01,884 --> 01:02:05,137
Don't for one minute think that you had
any effect whatsoever on my panties.

829
01:02:05,221 --> 01:02:06,680
Then what did I have an effect on?

830
01:02:06,764 --> 01:02:09,558
Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.

831
01:02:22,071 --> 01:02:24,239
You're right, she's still pissed.

832
01:02:24,323 --> 01:02:26,366
"Sweet love, renew thy force"

833
01:02:26,451 --> 01:02:30,412
Hey! Don't say shit like that to me.
People can hear you.

834
01:02:30,496 --> 01:02:32,372
Look, you embarrassed the girl.

835
01:02:32,457 --> 01:02:36,084
Sacrifice yourself on the altar of dignity
and even the score.

836
01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:42,424
Listen, don't say shit like that to him.

837
01:02:42,759 --> 01:02:44,593
People can hear you.

838
01:03:15,082 --> 01:03:18,919
You're just too good to be true

839
01:03:19,003 --> 01:03:22,798
Can't take my eyes off of you

840
01:03:22,882 --> 01:03:25,842
You'd be like heaven to touch

841
01:03:26,511 --> 01:03:29,429
I wanna hold you so much

842
01:03:30,431 --> 01:03:33,683
At long last love has arrived

843
01:03:34,435 --> 01:03:37,437
And I thank God I'm alive

844
01:03:38,314 --> 01:03:41,233
You're just too good to be true

845
01:03:42,068 --> 01:03:45,946
Can't take my eyes off of you

846
01:04:02,922 --> 01:04:05,590
I love you, baby

847
01:04:05,716 --> 01:04:09,511
And if it's quite all right
I need you, baby

848
01:04:09,595 --> 01:04:13,849
To warm the lonely night
I love you, baby

849
01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:18,270
Trust in me when I say

850
01:04:18,396 --> 01:04:20,939
Oh, pretty baby

851
01:04:21,023 --> 01:04:24,776
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby

852
01:04:24,902 --> 01:04:30,115
Now that I found you, stay
and let me love you, baby

853
01:04:30,241 --> 01:04:35,036
Let me love you

854
01:05:20,625 --> 01:05:22,751
You look pretty nervous.

855
01:05:23,628 --> 01:05:25,337
Yes, sir.

856
01:05:25,463 --> 01:05:27,505
You're sweating like a pig.

857
01:05:28,341 --> 01:05:29,674
Yes, sir.

858
01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:32,177
Your eyes are all bloodshot.

859
01:05:33,763 --> 01:05:34,846
Yes, sir.

860
01:05:34,972 --> 01:05:37,349
You've got pot, don't you?

861
01:05:43,522 --> 01:05:45,523
I'm confiscating this.

862
01:05:55,034 --> 01:05:56,451
This, too.

863
01:06:01,207 --> 01:06:03,959
Mr Chapin, can I talk to you
for a second?

864
01:06:04,043 --> 01:06:05,627
What can I do for you, Stratford?

865
01:06:05,711 --> 01:06:08,630
I have some ideas on how
we can improve the girls' soccer team.

866
01:06:08,714 --> 01:06:11,049
Great! Let's talk about it later.

867
01:06:13,719 --> 01:06:18,139
The window.

868
01:06:20,893 --> 01:06:23,561
As you know, we have
a really big game with Hillcrest High...

869
01:06:23,646 --> 01:06:25,146
Your bicep is huge!

870
01:06:25,231 --> 01:06:27,899
Oh, my God.
The other one's even bigger.

871
01:06:28,234 --> 01:06:30,568
You don't take steroids, do you,
because I've heard steroids

872
01:06:30,695 --> 01:06:33,238
can severely disintegrate
your package?

873
01:06:34,407 --> 01:06:36,157
Not that I'm thinking about
your package.

874
01:06:36,242 --> 01:06:38,368
- That's not the point.
- Let's hope not.

875
01:06:39,537 --> 01:06:42,163
The point is they kick our butts
every year.

876
01:06:42,248 --> 01:06:46,876
I was thinking, I devised a plan that
will enable us to finally defeat them.

877
01:06:47,003 --> 01:06:48,420
Which is?

878
01:06:48,838 --> 01:06:51,756
- That thing that you taught us.
- What thing?

879
01:06:52,091 --> 01:06:54,092
- Misdirection.
- I taught you that?

880
01:06:54,176 --> 01:06:57,929
Yeah, you or Siegfried or Roy?
Anyway, that's not important.

881
01:06:59,098 --> 01:07:00,682
The... Think about it.

882
01:07:00,766 --> 01:07:03,435
They're looking left
and we're running right.

883
01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:05,603
Bang, we score. We win.

884
01:07:06,439 --> 01:07:08,440
Okay, but how do we get 'em
to look left?

885
01:07:10,276 --> 01:07:11,776
Like this.

886
01:07:19,285 --> 01:07:21,619
Okay. Well,

887
01:07:22,913 --> 01:07:25,290
now that you've seen "the plan,"

888
01:07:25,583 --> 01:07:29,878
I'm gonna go and show "the plan"
to someone else.

889
01:07:31,922 --> 01:07:33,048
Okay.

890
01:07:33,799 --> 01:07:34,924
Hi.

891
01:07:43,642 --> 01:07:46,144
I can't thank you enough
for helping me sneak out of detention.

892
01:07:46,270 --> 01:07:48,146
- Very cool.
- No problem.

893
01:07:48,314 --> 01:07:51,483
I thought for sure I was busted when I
was climbing out that window, I tell ya.

894
01:07:51,567 --> 01:07:53,902
So, how did you keep him distracted?

895
01:07:53,986 --> 01:07:56,738
I dazzled him with my wits.

896
01:08:00,451 --> 01:08:02,827
- So, what's your excuse?
- For?

897
01:08:03,162 --> 01:08:05,121
For acting the way we do?

898
01:08:06,165 --> 01:08:08,416
I don't like to do what people expect.

899
01:08:08,501 --> 01:08:11,669
Why should I live up to other people's
expectations instead of my own?

900
01:08:11,796 --> 01:08:15,090
So, you disappoint 'em from the start
and then you're covered, right?

901
01:08:16,342 --> 01:08:18,343
Something like that.

902
01:08:19,678 --> 01:08:22,180
- Then you screwed up.
- How?

903
01:08:23,974 --> 01:08:26,017
You never disappointed me.

904
01:08:34,819 --> 01:08:36,361
Are you up for it?

905
01:08:37,029 --> 01:08:38,530
Up for what?

906
01:10:01,739 --> 01:10:03,364
All right, come on.

907
01:10:18,464 --> 01:10:20,465
No, none of that stuff is true.

908
01:10:20,591 --> 01:10:23,968
- State trooper.
- Fallacy. Dead guy in the parking lot?

909
01:10:24,094 --> 01:10:25,970
Rumour. The duck?

910
01:10:26,055 --> 01:10:28,306
Hearsay. Bobby Ridgeway's balls?

911
01:10:28,641 --> 01:10:31,142
Fact. But he deserved it.
He tried to grope me in the lunch line.

912
01:10:31,268 --> 01:10:33,269
- Fair enough.
- The accent?

913
01:10:33,646 --> 01:10:37,148
It's real.
I lived in Australia until I was 10.

914
01:10:37,483 --> 01:10:40,276
- With the Pygmies?
- Close.

915
01:10:40,486 --> 01:10:41,986
With my mom.

916
01:10:43,656 --> 01:10:46,824
Where were you last year?
I know the porn career is a lie.

917
01:10:46,909 --> 01:10:48,243
Do you?

918
01:10:56,502 --> 01:10:59,295
- Tell me something true.
- Something true.

919
01:11:02,341 --> 01:11:03,800
I hate peas.

920
01:11:04,343 --> 01:11:07,929
No. Something real.
Something no one else knows.

921
01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:10,515
Okay. You're sweet,

922
01:11:13,185 --> 01:11:14,686
and sexy,

923
01:11:16,480 --> 01:11:18,523
and completely hot for me.

924
01:11:20,192 --> 01:11:22,944
You are amazingly self-assured.
Has anyone ever told you that?

925
01:11:23,028 --> 01:11:25,863
I tell myself that every day, actually.

926
01:11:28,993 --> 01:11:32,787
- Go to the prom with me.
- Is that a request or a command?

927
01:11:32,871 --> 01:11:35,039
Come on. Go with me.

928
01:11:35,541 --> 01:11:38,543
- No.
- No? Why not?

929
01:11:39,044 --> 01:11:41,045
Because I don't want to.
Because it's a stupid tradition.

930
01:11:41,171 --> 01:11:43,881
Come on.
People won't expect you to go.

931
01:11:44,717 --> 01:11:46,843
Why are you pushing this?

932
01:11:49,221 --> 01:11:51,014
What's in it for you?

933
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:58,146
So now I need to have a motive
to want to be with you?

934
01:11:58,230 --> 01:11:59,731
You tell me.

935
01:12:01,900 --> 01:12:03,234
You need therapy, you know that?

936
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:05,862
Has anyone ever told you that?

937
01:12:06,697 --> 01:12:08,573
- Answer the question, Patrick.
- Nothing!

938
01:12:08,657 --> 01:12:09,657
There is nothing in it for me,

939
01:12:09,742 --> 01:12:12,327
just the pleasure of your company.
Okay?

940
01:12:37,227 --> 01:12:40,188
Wait. Wait a minute.
That... That's not on this page.

941
01:13:19,770 --> 01:13:20,978
Seven!

942
01:13:23,982 --> 01:13:25,149
Good.

943
01:13:29,488 --> 01:13:31,781
- Daddy?
- Hi, honey.

944
01:13:32,324 --> 01:13:37,078
I'd like to discuss tomorrow night
with you. As you know, it's the prom...

945
01:13:42,918 --> 01:13:45,336
The prom? Kat has a date?

946
01:13:46,171 --> 01:13:47,672
Well, no.

947
01:13:49,007 --> 01:13:50,091
Don't think you're fooling me.

948
01:13:50,175 --> 01:13:51,509
I know who you wanna
bend the rules for.

949
01:13:51,593 --> 01:13:53,511
It's that hot-rod Joey.

950
01:13:53,595 --> 01:13:55,263
What's a hot rod?

951
01:13:56,014 --> 01:14:00,435
It's a... If your sister's not going,
you're not going. End of story.

952
01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:03,187
Okay, let's review.

953
01:14:03,313 --> 01:14:06,357
Kat, not interested, me, dying to go.

954
01:14:06,608 --> 01:14:08,693
Do you know what happens at proms?

955
01:14:08,777 --> 01:14:11,529
Yes, Daddy. We'll dance,
we'll kiss, we'll come home.

956
01:14:11,613 --> 01:14:14,115
It's not quite the crisis situation
you imagine.

957
01:14:14,199 --> 01:14:16,284
Kissing, huh?
That's what you think happens?

958
01:14:16,368 --> 01:14:17,452
Got news for you.

959
01:14:17,536 --> 01:14:22,039
Kissing isn't what keeps me up to
my elbows in placenta all day long.

960
01:14:22,541 --> 01:14:25,460
Can we for two seconds ignore the fact
that you're severely unhinged,

961
01:14:25,544 --> 01:14:28,045
and discuss my need for a night
of teenage normalcy?

962
01:14:28,130 --> 01:14:31,215
What's normal?
Those damn Dawson's River kids,

963
01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:34,051
sleeping in each other's beds
and whatnot?

964
01:14:34,636 --> 01:14:36,804
- Daddy, that is so not...
- Got news for ya.

965
01:14:36,889 --> 01:14:38,556
I'm down. I've got the 4-1-1.

966
01:14:38,640 --> 01:14:40,975
And you are not going out
and getting jiggy with some boy.

967
01:14:41,059 --> 01:14:43,561
I don't care how dope his ride is.

968
01:14:48,567 --> 01:14:50,985
My mama didn't raise no fool.

969
01:14:52,404 --> 01:14:53,905
Thanks, Bill.

970
01:14:55,657 --> 01:14:58,576
Ridiculous amounts of love
across this nation worldwide.

971
01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:00,411
Believe it.

972
01:15:01,747 --> 01:15:03,664
This is the true story.

973
01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:06,000
Seattle.

974
01:15:08,921 --> 01:15:10,338
Come in.

975
01:15:16,595 --> 01:15:18,262
Listen, I know...

976
01:15:21,266 --> 01:15:24,435
I know you hate having to sit at home
because I'm not Suzy High School.

977
01:15:24,561 --> 01:15:26,771
- Like you care.
- I do care.

978
01:15:27,940 --> 01:15:30,608
But I'm a firm believer in doing
something for your own reasons,

979
01:15:30,692 --> 01:15:32,693
and not someone else's.

980
01:15:33,612 --> 01:15:35,613
Well, I wish I had that luxury.

981
01:15:35,697 --> 01:15:38,449
You know, I'm the only sophomore
that got asked to go to the prom,

982
01:15:38,534 --> 01:15:41,452
and I can't go
because you don't feel like it.

983
01:15:45,457 --> 01:15:48,709
Joey never told you
that we went out, did he?

984
01:15:48,794 --> 01:15:52,296
- Yeah, okay.
- In ninth, for a month.

985
01:15:58,971 --> 01:16:02,265
- Why?
- Because he was, like, such a babe.

986
01:16:03,308 --> 01:16:06,102
- But you hate Joey.
- Now I do.

987
01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:08,479
So, what happened?

988
01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:17,738
Please tell me you're joking.

989
01:16:17,823 --> 01:16:21,242
Just once, right after Mom left.

990
01:16:22,494 --> 01:16:24,912
Everyone was doing it, so...

991
01:16:24,997 --> 01:16:26,330
I did it.

992
01:16:27,332 --> 01:16:30,668
Afterwards I told him I didn't want to
any more because I wasn't ready,

993
01:16:30,794 --> 01:16:33,296
and he got pissed and he dumped me.

994
01:16:34,506 --> 01:16:36,340
After that I swore I'd never do anything

995
01:16:36,425 --> 01:16:38,259
just because everyone else
was doing it.

996
01:16:38,343 --> 01:16:40,011
And I haven't since,

997
01:16:40,637 --> 01:16:42,263
with the exception of Bogey's party

998
01:16:42,347 --> 01:16:44,974
and my stunning
digestive pyrotechnics.

999
01:16:47,185 --> 01:16:50,354
How is it possible
that I did not know about this?

1000
01:16:50,856 --> 01:16:52,273
I warned him that if he told anyone,

1001
01:16:52,357 --> 01:16:56,027
the cheerleading squad would find out
how tiny his dick is.

1002
01:16:58,864 --> 01:17:01,699
Okay, so why didn't you tell me?

1003
01:17:03,535 --> 01:17:06,621
I wanted to let you
make up your mind about him.

1004
01:17:07,873 --> 01:17:10,833
Then why did you help Daddy
hold me hostage?

1005
01:17:11,209 --> 01:17:14,545
It's not like I'm stupid enough
to repeat your mistakes.

1006
01:17:14,630 --> 01:17:16,547
I guess I thought I was protecting you.

1007
01:17:16,673 --> 01:17:19,634
By not letting me experience
anything for myself?

1008
01:17:19,718 --> 01:17:22,386
Not all experiences are good, Bianca.

1009
01:17:22,471 --> 01:17:24,472
You can't always trust
the people you want to.

1010
01:17:24,556 --> 01:17:27,141
Well, I guess I'll never know, will I?

1011
01:18:12,270 --> 01:18:14,021
Ladies with thinning hair or bald spots,

1012
01:18:14,106 --> 01:18:18,609
G.L.H. solves the problem instantly.
G.L.H. Is not a paint or a cover-up.

1013
01:18:18,860 --> 01:18:22,780
It's an amazing powder that clings
to the tiniest hairs on your head.

1014
01:18:23,115 --> 01:18:24,949
It actually builds on itself,

1015
01:18:25,033 --> 01:18:27,618
leaving you with great,
great-looking hair.

1016
01:18:27,744 --> 01:18:29,370
And the G.L.H. Hair system
is not expensive.

1017
01:18:29,454 --> 01:18:30,538
Interesting.

1018
01:18:30,622 --> 01:18:33,040
Order your G.L.H. Hair package now.

1019
01:18:33,792 --> 01:18:36,043
Bye, Dad. I'm going to the prom.

1020
01:18:36,586 --> 01:18:37,795
Funny, sweetie.

1021
01:18:38,255 --> 01:18:41,215
It instantly covers your bald spot
leaving you with great looking hair.

1022
01:18:45,762 --> 01:18:47,888
- What's that?
- A prom dress.

1023
01:18:48,140 --> 01:18:50,766
I seem to be hearing that word
a lot lately.

1024
01:18:55,981 --> 01:18:59,150
- Hi.
- Wow. I...

1025
01:19:02,904 --> 01:19:04,447
Wow.

1026
01:19:05,073 --> 01:19:06,907
- Bye, Daddy.
- Stop.

1027
01:19:06,992 --> 01:19:09,785
Turn. Explain.

1028
01:19:11,163 --> 01:19:14,498
Okay. Remember how you said
I could date if Kat dated?

1029
01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:16,834
Well, she found this guy
who's actually kind of perfect for her

1030
01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:18,335
which is perfect for me,

1031
01:19:18,420 --> 01:19:21,255
because Cameron asked me to go to
the prom and I really, really wanna go,

1032
01:19:21,339 --> 01:19:24,508
and since Kat went, I guess I'm allowed
to, based on the aforementioned rule,

1033
01:19:24,634 --> 01:19:26,677
and its previous stipulations, of course.

1034
01:19:27,512 --> 01:19:29,430
- Nice to meet you.
- Let's go.

1035
01:19:33,185 --> 01:19:34,769
I know every cop in town, bucko!

1036
01:19:38,857 --> 01:19:40,608
This is not good.

1037
01:20:22,234 --> 01:20:23,400
Wow.

1038
01:20:24,903 --> 01:20:26,237
You, too.

1039
01:20:29,324 --> 01:20:30,908
Where'd you get a tux
at the last minute?

1040
01:20:30,992 --> 01:20:34,161
Oh, just something I had,
you know, lying around.

1041
01:20:34,538 --> 01:20:35,746
Where'd you get the dress?

1042
01:20:35,872 --> 01:20:38,415
Oh, just something I had,
you know, lying around.

1043
01:20:42,003 --> 01:20:45,840
Listen, I'm really sorry
that I questioned your motives.

1044
01:20:46,424 --> 01:20:48,050
I was wrong.

1045
01:20:49,928 --> 01:20:51,595
You're forgiven.

1046
01:20:54,391 --> 01:20:55,558
Okay.

1047
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:58,936
- Ready for the prom?
- Yes, ma'am.

1048
01:21:12,617 --> 01:21:16,287
Hi, Mr Stratford. I'm Joey.
I'm here to pick up Bianca.

1049
01:21:37,475 --> 01:21:39,143
- Have you seen him?
- Who?

1050
01:21:39,269 --> 01:21:41,937
William.
He asked me to meet him here.

1051
01:21:42,814 --> 01:21:44,565
Oh, Mandella,
please tell me you haven't

1052
01:21:44,649 --> 01:21:47,276
progressed to full-on hallucinations.

1053
01:22:09,925 --> 01:22:12,259
- Milady.
- Good sir.

1054
01:22:36,826 --> 01:22:38,535
Oh, my God, it's...

1055
01:22:40,288 --> 01:22:42,206
I called in a favour!

1056
01:23:39,597 --> 01:23:41,098
What are you doing here?

1057
01:23:41,224 --> 01:23:43,684
I know you didn't think you were
the only sophomore at the prom.

1058
01:23:43,768 --> 01:23:45,561
Joey just picked me up.

1059
01:23:45,645 --> 01:23:48,689
Oh, well, congratulations.
He's all yours.

1060
01:23:48,773 --> 01:23:50,399
Very generous, princess.

1061
01:23:50,483 --> 01:23:53,694
And just so you know,
Joey only liked you for one reason.

1062
01:23:53,778 --> 01:23:55,654
He even had a bet going
with his friends.

1063
01:23:55,780 --> 01:23:57,948
He was gonna nail you tonight.

1064
01:24:02,954 --> 01:24:05,164
- Milwaukee.
- What?

1065
01:24:05,415 --> 01:24:08,459
That's where I was last year.
I wasn't in jail.

1066
01:24:08,626 --> 01:24:09,877
I don't know Marilyn Manson

1067
01:24:09,961 --> 01:24:13,589
and I didn't sleep with a Spice Girl,
I don't think.

1068
01:24:13,757 --> 01:24:17,468
You see, my grandpa, he was ill
so I spent most of the year on his couch

1069
01:24:17,594 --> 01:24:20,846
watching Wheel ofFortune
and making SpaghettiOs.

1070
01:24:21,598 --> 01:24:23,098
End of story.

1071
01:24:23,683 --> 01:24:25,017
No way.

1072
01:24:27,270 --> 01:24:31,106
Hey. What's Bianca doing here
with that cheese dick?

1073
01:24:31,316 --> 01:24:36,153
I didn't pay you to take out Kat so some
little punk could snake me with Bianca.

1074
01:24:40,158 --> 01:24:42,284
Nothing in it for you, huh?

1075
01:24:53,671 --> 01:24:55,798
The shit hath hitteth

1076
01:24:55,882 --> 01:24:58,008
the faneth.

1077
01:25:01,846 --> 01:25:04,973
Joey, pal, compadre?

1078
01:25:08,019 --> 01:25:11,271
You messed with the wrong guy,
and now you're gonna pay.

1079
01:25:11,356 --> 01:25:13,982
You and that little bitch.

1080
01:25:14,734 --> 01:25:18,195
All right, that's enough, okay!
You crossed the line.

1081
01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:22,533
Oh, come on! Get up, you little punk!

1082
01:25:27,664 --> 01:25:30,874
Shit, Bianca!
I'm shooting a nose spray ad tomorrow!

1083
01:25:31,000 --> 01:25:34,419
That's for making my date bleed!
That's for my sister!

1084
01:25:35,547 --> 01:25:37,256
And that's for me.

1085
01:25:44,848 --> 01:25:46,348
Are you okay?

1086
01:25:47,350 --> 01:25:49,059
Never been better.

1087
01:25:58,194 --> 01:25:59,236
Would you give me a chance...

1088
01:25:59,362 --> 01:26:02,406
You were paid to take me out
by the one person I truly hate.

1089
01:26:02,532 --> 01:26:04,533
I knew this was a set-up!

1090
01:26:04,701 --> 01:26:07,035
Kat, it wasn't like that, okay.

1091
01:26:07,120 --> 01:26:09,788
What was it like, a down payment now
and a bonus for sleeping with me?

1092
01:26:09,914 --> 01:26:12,875
No, I didn't care about the money!
I cared...

1093
01:26:13,710 --> 01:26:15,544
I cared about you.

1094
01:26:17,088 --> 01:26:19,756
You are so not who I thought you were.

1095
01:27:02,675 --> 01:27:04,426
You want?

1096
01:27:04,636 --> 01:27:05,844
Thanks.

1097
01:27:07,138 --> 01:27:11,141
So, you sure you don't want
to go sailing with us? It'll be fun.

1098
01:27:11,601 --> 01:27:13,477
No, I'm fine.

1099
01:27:14,854 --> 01:27:18,982
Look, I don't know if I ever thanked you
for going last night,

1100
01:27:20,318 --> 01:27:22,653
but it really meant a lot to me.

1101
01:27:24,948 --> 01:27:26,281
I'm glad.

1102
01:27:28,368 --> 01:27:30,619
- Hey.
- Hey.

1103
01:27:30,828 --> 01:27:32,621
You ready?

1104
01:27:34,207 --> 01:27:35,958
- See you later.
- Bye.

1105
01:27:37,961 --> 01:27:40,462
- Is... Is she okay?
- I hope so.

1106
01:27:47,470 --> 01:27:49,346
Where's your sister going?

1107
01:27:49,555 --> 01:27:53,308
She's meeting some bikers,
big ones, full of sperm.

1108
01:27:55,228 --> 01:27:56,478
Funny.

1109
01:27:58,564 --> 01:28:01,483
So, tell me about this dance.
Was it hoppin'?

1110
01:28:02,568 --> 01:28:03,777
Parts of it.

1111
01:28:03,861 --> 01:28:05,153
Which parts?

1112
01:28:05,989 --> 01:28:08,949
The part where Bianca
beat the hell out of some guy.

1113
01:28:09,033 --> 01:28:10,450
Bianca did what?

1114
01:28:10,535 --> 01:28:13,745
What's the matter,
upset that I rubbed off on her?

1115
01:28:14,539 --> 01:28:16,039
No, impressed.

1116
01:28:20,670 --> 01:28:22,629
Fathers don't like to admit it
when their daughters

1117
01:28:22,714 --> 01:28:24,006
are capable of running their own lives.

1118
01:28:24,090 --> 01:28:26,591
It means we've become spectators.

1119
01:28:30,430 --> 01:28:35,183
Bianca still lets me play a few innings.
You've had me on the bench for years.

1120
01:28:37,562 --> 01:28:40,939
And when you go to Sarah Lawrence,
I won't even be able to watch the game.

1121
01:28:43,234 --> 01:28:44,735
When I go?

1122
01:28:45,903 --> 01:28:48,905
Oh, boy. Don't tell me
you changed your mind.

1123
01:28:49,907 --> 01:28:52,075
I already sent 'em a cheque.

1124
01:29:09,135 --> 01:29:12,679
All right, I assume everyone
has found time to complete their poem,

1125
01:29:12,764 --> 01:29:14,598
except for Mr Donner,

1126
01:29:15,099 --> 01:29:16,767
who has an excuse.

1127
01:29:18,811 --> 01:29:20,937
Shaft, lose the glasses.

1128
01:29:24,817 --> 01:29:28,153
All right, anyone brave enough
to read theirs aloud?

1129
01:29:36,621 --> 01:29:37,829
I will.

1130
01:29:40,291 --> 01:29:41,792
Lord, here we go.

1131
01:29:50,676 --> 01:29:54,054
"I hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair

1132
01:29:54,138 --> 01:29:58,558
"I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare

1133
01:29:58,643 --> 01:30:02,521
"I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind

1134
01:30:02,647 --> 01:30:06,316
"I hate you so much it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme

1135
01:30:08,611 --> 01:30:11,571
"I hate it...
I hate the way you're always right

1136
01:30:11,656 --> 01:30:13,782
"I hate it when you lie

1137
01:30:13,866 --> 01:30:17,953
"I hate it when you make me laugh
even worse when you make me cry

1138
01:30:19,497 --> 01:30:23,583
"I hate it when you're not around
and the fact that you didn't call

1139
01:30:23,668 --> 01:30:27,337
"But mostly, I hate the way
I don't hate you, not even close

1140
01:30:27,463 --> 01:30:30,048
"not even a little bit, not even at all"

1141
01:31:12,842 --> 01:31:16,261
- Nice, huh?
- A Fender Strat?

1142
01:31:16,888 --> 01:31:18,305
Is it for me?

1143
01:31:18,389 --> 01:31:22,142
Yeah, I thought you could use it,
you know, when you start your band.

1144
01:31:22,226 --> 01:31:24,936
Besides,
I had some extra cash, you know.

1145
01:31:25,062 --> 01:31:28,523
Some asshole paid me
to take out this really great girl.

1146
01:31:29,775 --> 01:31:31,526
Is that right?

1147
01:31:32,069 --> 01:31:35,530
Yeah, but I screwed up. I... I fell for her.

1148
01:31:38,117 --> 01:31:39,409
Really?

1149
01:31:40,953 --> 01:31:42,204
It's not every day you find a girl

1150
01:31:42,288 --> 01:31:45,582
who'll flash someone
to get you out of detention.

1151
01:31:46,417 --> 01:31:47,626
Oh, God.

1152
01:31:55,927 --> 01:31:59,638
You can't just buy me a guitar
every time you screw up, you know.

1153
01:32:00,056 --> 01:32:01,473
Yeah, I know.

1154
01:32:02,433 --> 01:32:06,144
But there's always drums and bass
and maybe even one day a tambourine.

1155
01:32:14,153 --> 01:32:15,278
And don't just think you can...

1156
01:34:46,597 --> 01:34:51,059
No offence. I know everyone "digs"
your sister and all,

1157
01:34:51,268 --> 01:34:52,811
but she's without.

1158
01:34:54,772 --> 01:34:58,733
You know, you're not as vile
as I thought you were.

1159
01:35:07,910 --> 01:35:10,620
You suck.

1160
01:35:10,830 --> 01:35:14,416
Okay. Let's go!

1161
01:35:16,335 --> 01:35:18,336
You're just messin' with me,
aren't you?

1162
01:35:18,462 --> 01:35:20,505
No, I'm really looking forward
to doing it.

1163
01:35:20,631 --> 01:35:21,881
Go see Miss Perky.

1164
01:35:21,966 --> 01:35:24,634
- What?
- Go. Perky's. Go, now.

1165
01:35:24,760 --> 01:35:27,637
Once again.
"Perky, now" is the second one.

1166
01:35:27,763 --> 01:35:30,515
- Perky's now. Perky's, now.
- Right away.

1167
01:35:30,641 --> 01:35:32,350
- Now, Perky's.
- Hey, hey.

1168
01:35:32,476 --> 01:35:35,228
- Now, Perky's. Perky's now.
- At the beginning of the shot.

1169
01:35:35,312 --> 01:35:36,688
Perk...

1170
01:35:40,276 --> 01:35:43,528
Bianca, let's go. We're all
congregating around Mr Cuervo.

1171
01:35:44,989 --> 01:35:47,031
I'll see you around, okay?

1172
01:35:57,460 --> 01:36:00,211
Don't worry. There's better for you,

1173
01:36:00,379 --> 01:36:02,172
and it's right here.

1174
01:36:02,715 --> 01:36:05,049
Come here.
No, I wanted you for so long.

1175
01:36:07,636 --> 01:36:10,889
You messed with the wrong guy,
and now you're gonna pay.

1176
01:36:11,015 --> 01:36:13,308
You and that little bitch.

1177
01:36:14,477 --> 01:36:18,062
All right, that's enough, okay!
You crossed the line.

1178
01:36:23,152 --> 01:36:24,402
What, are you kidding me?

1179
01:36:30,367 --> 01:36:33,578
- I'm driving, so I pick the tunes.
- And it's my car.

1180
01:36:36,874 --> 01:36:39,417
I want some coffee!

1181
01:36:52,431 --> 01:36:55,266
Could I get a prophylactic?

1182
01:36:55,434 --> 01:36:57,227
A prophylactic.

1183
01:36:59,522 --> 01:37:02,482
- Let go!
- How could you set me up like that?

1184
01:37:02,566 --> 01:37:04,400
Oh, God, I just wanted...

1185
01:37:04,527 --> 01:37:06,528
To completely damage me,
send me to therapy forever?

1186
01:37:06,612 --> 01:37:09,030
- No, I just wanted...
- Ladies.

1187
01:37:11,909 --> 01:37:13,743
Shall we go to my office?

1188
01:37:16,539 --> 01:37:18,581
Oh, my God!