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♪ IMAGINE DRAGONS: On Top Of The World

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♪ You can have it all
but not till you move it

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♪ Now take it in but don't look down

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♪ Cos I'm on top of the world, hey

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♪ I'm on top of the world, hey

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♪ Waiting on this for a while now

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♪ Paying my dues to the dirt

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♪ I've been waiting to smile, hey

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♪ Been holding it in for a while, hey

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♪ Take it with me if I can

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♪ Been dreaming of this since a child

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♪ And I know it's hard
when you're falling down

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♪ And it's a long way up
when you hit the ground

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♪ Get up now, get up, get up now

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♪ I'm on top of the world

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Hey! Hi, there!

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Oh, boy, look at this.

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Ah. (sighs)

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Pretty as ever. Ha!

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Oh, exciting!

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Ohh...

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Did you pack
your bowling ball collection in here?

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Oh, my God! He's in a good mood.
(chuckles)

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Who do I love, huh? Who do I love?
You know I love you.

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Yeah, I love you, too, Mom.

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(he grunts)

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Senior year, huh? I mean, this is the one.

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They're all important but,
boy, this is the one

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that really takes you to the finish line.
What do I always tell you?

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- I got this.
- You got this.

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Tell you what I won't miss -
paying 28 grand a year.

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- Oh.
- Dad!

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Don't listen to him.

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He just likes to squeeze the coin purse.

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(she sighs)

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I just love it here.

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I love being back at our alma mater,
right, honey?

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Well, technically, it's my alma mater.
You didn't graduate.

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He loves it.

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(sighs) Oh, boy, here come the waterworks.

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- Mom!
- You know what?

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I think I just need some cheese
or something. I'm a little snackish.

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- (chuckles)
- OK, traffic. We got traffic.

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- Aww.
- OK. OK.

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All right. We're gonna release, OK?

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(both laugh)

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You're a remarkable young lady.

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And my love for you is very, very fierce.

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What? I'm only 22 minutes away!

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That's 22 minutes too far for me.

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Have so much fun in Italy, guys.
It's gonna be amazing.

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Arrivederci! That's Italian.

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- Have fun.
- Thanks.

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Save your receipts.
Just kidding, but save 'em.

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OK.

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- Hatchback.
- Oh.

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Yup. Oh, boy.

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- Ciao, honey!
- (horn toots)

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Ciao!

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We're both fluent. I'm coming, Dan.

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Beep beep yourself, mister.

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Somebody trying to get me in the car
all to himself, huh?

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Oh, boy. Four weeks in Italy. Mm?

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Are you ready? I'm ready.

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I've always enjoyed our staycations

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but I think I'm ready
for a little gondola ride with my fella.

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Oh, wait, wait, wait!

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I wanna see our girl go in.

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Oh-ho, look at that!

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(chuckles) Oh-ho-ho!

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I want a divorce.

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- What?
- I want a divorce.

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God, it feels good to say that out loud.

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I wanna be completely transparent
with you, Deanna.

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I am in love with someone else.

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Who are you in love with?

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Marcie.

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Marcie Strong.

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The realtor?

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The one on the bus benches?

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She's also on a series
of small billboards downtown

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and she has a pretty respectable
social media following.

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Oh, my God!

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- Don't... Please...
- Don't touch me!

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- Stay in the car, please.
- I'm gonna be sick!

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Look, I know this seems mean but I'm
doing it to facilitate a clean break.

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Like ripping a Band-Aid off quickly.
This is better for you.

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Don't you dare tell me
that this is better for me.

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Also in the interests of
complete transparency,

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I'm gonna sell the house.

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You can't do that.
That's not how it works.

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Marcie already started the paperwork
and it's all in my name.

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(sniffles)

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Stop it! This is a lease.
We still have ten months' payments.

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- Stop it, please!
- I don't care if it's a lease.

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Please, get back in the car.

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Oh, that's gonna cost.

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We'll talk about this later.

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Just go, Dan.

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Now I gotta use Waze.

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(sobs)

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(exhales and sobs)

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23 years of marriage, just down the tubes.

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I mean, can you believe that?

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No. I'm just...
I'm so disappointed in Dan.

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And what's Maddie gonna do? I mean,
you've gotta cancel the trip to Italy.

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You know, I honest to God...
I didn't see it coming.

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You always hear that
but I didn't see it coming.

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Let me tell you this,
Dan doesn't deserve you.

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You're such a great lady, Deanna.

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Thank you. That's very nice of you.

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This is it. My parents' house
is just up here on the right.

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Thanks, Dale. And, uh...

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From the bottom of my heart...

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I'm gonna give you a great Uber review.

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Well, I hope your day gets better, Deanna.

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(tearfully): I'm sure it will.

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(Deanna sobs)

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Can I make you a sandwich?

120
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No, thanks, Mom.
I'm just... I'm not hungry.

121
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What about a tuna salad sandwich
or egg salad?

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- You like egg salad.
- I do like egg salad.

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But, I promise you, I'll let you know,
but I'm really not hungry right now.

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Well, at least...
at least Marcie is attractive.

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- Mike!
- Dad! Oh, my God!

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What did I say? I mean,
it'd be even worse if she was homely.

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- No! No, it would not!
- Yeah, OK, well, you know what?

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That Dan, no good.

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I knew that the first time he tried
to make you drop out of college.

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What kind of man makes his pregnant wife
drop out of college with one year to go?

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Mike, lower your voice.

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You're upsetting Razzles.

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I'm sorry, Razzy.

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DEANNA:
He didn't make me drop out of school.

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Dan and I decided that together.
We were having a baby!

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We needed to save money.

137
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We could only afford
one of us to finish school

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and he thought it was more important
that he went.

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- OK.
- OK?

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I was always supposed to go back.
It just never happened.

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You were just so close to graduating.

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I think it just kind of
sticks in his craw.

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- Yeah, it just sticks in my craw a bit.
- Yeah.

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I've got an idea, honey.

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What about a ham sandwich?

146
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Sandy, she doesn't want a ham sandwich.

147
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But she likes ham, Mike.

148
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Of course she likes ham.
Everybody likes ham!

149
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But the point is
that she's too upset to eat!

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You know what's upsetting me?
It's that my marriage has collapsed

151
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and you two keep screaming about ham!

152
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- I'm not screaming about ham.
- You are screaming about ham!

153
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- Yeah, stop it!
- You think I'm screaming about ham?

154
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Right now, your voice is going up
with "ham"!

155
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Fine! I'm screaming about ham!
I can't help it!

156
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I'm up on the roof there!
I'm blowing through the roof!

157
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I feel like... like I'm gonna blow
like a hot water heater!

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I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go right now.

159
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I'm making everyone a sandwich.

160
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Mom, am I the only one
that didn't see it coming?

161
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Oh, yeah. I'm gonna shoot Dan.

162
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- Mike.
- Yeah!

163
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Put the gun down.
You are not shooting Dan.

164
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Dad, stop waving that gun around.

165
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- I know exactly what I'm gonna do.
- (gunshot)

166
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- (barks)
- Oh, my gosh! You almost hit Razzles!

167
00:08:10,002 --> 00:08:11,994
Michael, you put a hole in the stairs!

168
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Oh, shit!

169
00:08:14,016 --> 00:08:15,977
You know what? Dan's fault!

170
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This was Dan's fault.

171
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(spits)

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♪ EVIE SANDS:
You've Got Me Up Tight

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♪ You've got me up tight

174
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♪ Yeah

175
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♪ I blow my mind now over you

176
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<i>♪ Up tight</i>

177
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♪ Mm, you've got me up tight

178
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♪ The way you do that thing you do

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<i>♪ Up tight, yeah</i>

180
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♪ Well, I'm certain of what I said

181
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♪ You've got me out of my head

182
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<i>♪ Up tight</i>

183
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<i>♪ Up tight</i>

184
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Ow! Shit!

185
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:02,107
<i>♪ Up tight</i>

186
00:09:05,006 --> 00:09:06,028
<i>♪ Up tight</i>

187
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,074
<i>♪ Up tight</i>

188
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(explosion)

189
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♪ Well, I'm certain of what I said...

190
00:09:17,092 --> 00:09:18,979
(grunts)

191
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Whoa! Whoa!

192
00:09:23,995 --> 00:09:25,997
(laughs)

193
00:09:26,935 --> 00:09:29,000
You can't call this racquetball.

194
00:09:29,031 --> 00:09:30,950
That's a disgrace to the game.

195
00:09:31,085 --> 00:09:33,953
You know what?
I know I fought you on it

196
00:09:33,984 --> 00:09:36,121
but thank you for getting me
out of the house.

197
00:09:36,153 --> 00:09:38,155
Come on. What do you
think best friends are for?

198
00:09:38,937 --> 00:09:40,115
Hey! Hey!

199
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,982
Excuse me,
there's no alcohol on the courts.

200
00:09:43,024 --> 00:09:45,016
Oh, suck it, Eugene!

201
00:09:45,047 --> 00:09:46,131
Go easy on the kid, huh?

202
00:09:46,163 --> 00:09:48,133
You know what?
How many of those have you had?

203
00:09:48,166 --> 00:09:51,074
- I had three on the way over here.
- Yeah.

204
00:09:51,106 --> 00:09:53,056
I made Frank drive me.

205
00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:57,029
- You've had four here. You've had seven?
- I've had seven.

206
00:09:57,060 --> 00:09:59,121
What are we supposed to do,
wait around here all day?

207
00:09:59,145 --> 00:10:03,035
OK, let's just show them how it's done,
OK?

208
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,172
Ohh!

209
00:10:05,954 --> 00:10:07,988
- Oh, my God!
- I'm sorry.

210
00:10:08,019 --> 00:10:09,969
- Right in the lady business.
- (men laugh)

211
00:10:10,052 --> 00:10:11,960
It's not funny!

212
00:10:11,992 --> 00:10:13,962
- Shut up!
- It's not funny.

213
00:10:13,994 --> 00:10:17,956
- Oh, my! Oh, that's like a pain.
- I'm really sorry.

214
00:10:17,987 --> 00:10:23,023
I think I was thinking about Dan's face
or maybe... his crotchal area.

215
00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:25,015
- No, but you're good.
- I kind of let loose.

216
00:10:25,046 --> 00:10:26,205
You got good aim. Wow!

217
00:10:26,986 --> 00:10:29,051
What am I doing? I am drinking alcohol

218
00:10:29,083 --> 00:10:31,137
on a racquetball court
and yelling at old men.

219
00:10:31,168 --> 00:10:32,982
I mean, what am I gonna do?

220
00:10:33,014 --> 00:10:36,162
Go get a studio apartment
or start taking spin classes?

221
00:10:36,194 --> 00:10:39,030
Oh, God! I don't wanna start a blog.

222
00:10:39,061 --> 00:10:42,012
- I don't know how to do that.
- Please don't do that.

223
00:10:45,088 --> 00:10:47,215
I should have just fought more.

224
00:10:47,997 --> 00:10:50,124
- You know?
- Don't do that to yourself.

225
00:10:50,156 --> 00:10:52,116
You did great.

226
00:10:52,147 --> 00:10:54,066
What about Maddie?

227
00:10:55,161 --> 00:10:57,194
- She's so great.
- She's so great.

228
00:10:57,225 --> 00:11:00,176
I don't regret that at all, I mean...

229
00:11:00,208 --> 00:11:02,210
That's the best, I mean, being her mom.

230
00:11:02,242 --> 00:11:04,233
I even liked being a wife.

231
00:11:05,014 --> 00:11:07,028
I just wanted to also have a career.

232
00:11:07,059 --> 00:11:10,031
I didn't see why I couldn't
have all of those things.

233
00:11:10,187 --> 00:11:14,139
Hey, yo! We don't have time
for your heartfelt conversations!

234
00:11:15,036 --> 00:11:16,235
They're so ornery.

235
00:11:17,017 --> 00:11:19,165
OK, let's razzle-dazzle, and show...

236
00:11:19,196 --> 00:11:22,262
- Oh, God, we have to move again?
- ..show the Muppet judges, right?

237
00:11:23,044 --> 00:11:25,098
My sciatica's kicking.

238
00:11:25,129 --> 00:11:27,142
Oh, God! Wow!

239
00:11:27,173 --> 00:11:29,269
The pain, it's blinding!

240
00:11:30,051 --> 00:11:32,651
I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry I did that.
I didn't mean to hit you.

241
00:11:33,054 --> 00:11:36,151
You don't need to apologise to me.
Just apologise to my vagina.

242
00:11:36,182 --> 00:11:38,111
(Deanna laughs wheezily)

243
00:11:38,142 --> 00:11:40,176
- I'm so sorry.
- (laughs)

244
00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:42,063
Stacey accepts your apology.

245
00:11:42,095 --> 00:11:44,149
- Who's Stacey?
- She's my vagina.

246
00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:47,152
You know what? I shouldn't say anything.
Mine is LeVonne.

247
00:11:47,183 --> 00:11:50,166
- What?
- I thought it sounded French.

248
00:11:55,296 --> 00:11:57,235
Oh, my God.

249
00:11:59,143 --> 00:12:00,248
(laughs) Oh-ho!

250
00:12:07,151 --> 00:12:09,174
That was not good hair.

251
00:12:10,102 --> 00:12:12,314
Too short. Too short, Deanna.

252
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,174
- A-boo!
- (gasps)

253
00:12:39,205 --> 00:12:41,197
- Oh, God!
- Mom!

254
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:44,221
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to actually scare you.

255
00:12:44,252 --> 00:12:46,170
- Hi!
- Surprise!

256
00:12:46,202 --> 00:12:48,152
What are you doing here?

257
00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:51,354
Well, I was just bringing you
some mini toiletries

258
00:12:52,135 --> 00:12:55,149
and I got you some more of that shampoo
that I know you like so much.

259
00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:58,152
Mom, I've only been here a week.
I don't need more shampoo.

260
00:12:58,183 --> 00:13:01,332
Oh, I always think everyone
can use shampoo

261
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:05,211
and floss and frozen vegetable medleys.

262
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:07,245
Always a good thing to have around.

263
00:13:07,276 --> 00:13:11,207
That's why I stopped by
and also to tell you that

264
00:13:11,238 --> 00:13:13,334
your father and I are getting a divorce.

265
00:13:13,365 --> 00:13:16,170
But if you want me
to take the shampoo back...

266
00:13:16,201 --> 00:13:17,327
Wait, what?

267
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:20,299
Yeah, honey.

268
00:13:22,322 --> 00:13:25,148
I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to just blurt that out.

269
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,254
I'm sorry.

270
00:13:26,285 --> 00:13:28,182
- Oh, my God!
- Come here.

271
00:13:29,393 --> 00:13:32,198
I didn't mean to do it like that.

272
00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:35,388
You know that this has nothing to do
with how much we love you.

273
00:13:36,170 --> 00:13:40,195
Because we love you.
We love you so much. So much, OK?

274
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:42,301
Oh, my God.

275
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,408
What happened?

276
00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:47,254
I guess in a nutshell, I would have to say

277
00:13:47,286 --> 00:13:51,227
that he is currently
having an intimate sexual relationship

278
00:13:51,258 --> 00:13:52,416
with somebody named Marcie.

279
00:13:53,198 --> 00:13:54,386
I'm so sorry, Mom.

280
00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:57,264
No, I'm... I'm sorry.

281
00:13:57,296 --> 00:13:58,378
I mean, this was not my plan.

282
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:04,304
I did not mean to come over here
and just dump bad news on you.

283
00:14:04,335 --> 00:14:06,285
I wish I was...

284
00:14:06,316 --> 00:14:08,266
I wish I knew how to do this better.

285
00:14:08,297 --> 00:14:09,434
Dad is such an ass!

286
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,218
Yeah. But I'll tell you this.

287
00:14:12,249 --> 00:14:15,440
I'm not even really a full week in
but I'm feeling...

288
00:14:17,233 --> 00:14:18,318
..peppier about it.

289
00:14:18,349 --> 00:14:19,469
Top of the week was... Whoo!

290
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:23,333
..really, really spiralling down there
but I feel like

291
00:14:23,364 --> 00:14:26,346
there's some big wheels in motion here.

292
00:14:26,378 --> 00:14:30,267
Exciting, big, semi-truck-size wheels.

293
00:14:30,298 --> 00:14:32,259
- (laughs)
- Yes, big wheels!

294
00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:34,428
Come on, seize the day! Go for the gold!

295
00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:37,390
Yeah, at least medal, right?

296
00:14:37,421 --> 00:14:41,321
That's why I'm gonna go back to college
and get my archaeology degree.

297
00:14:41,352 --> 00:14:43,385
Right here, my alma mater.

298
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,450
I'm gonna finish what I started!

299
00:14:46,232 --> 00:14:47,327
- No.
- Yes!

300
00:14:47,358 --> 00:14:50,340
Mom, you really gotta take a moment
and think about this.

301
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:54,313
Hm. I love it. (laughs)

302
00:14:54,344 --> 00:14:57,305
Oh... OK. Oh, boy.

303
00:14:57,337 --> 00:14:59,287
OK. OK.

304
00:14:59,318 --> 00:15:00,413
Oh, boy.

305
00:15:00,444 --> 00:15:03,291
I overwhelmed my gal.

306
00:15:03,322 --> 00:15:05,355
Mom came in and overwhelmed her.

307
00:15:05,386 --> 00:15:06,429
Yes, I did.

308
00:15:06,460 --> 00:15:09,496
No, this is... this is good news.

309
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,300
Yeah, good news. Mm-hm.

310
00:15:12,331 --> 00:15:13,468
Good news.

311
00:15:14,376 --> 00:15:17,379
I'll tell you what. I would hate
to have to clean all these spindles.

312
00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:19,506
- I think you could do it.
- I know I could.

313
00:15:20,434 --> 00:15:22,269
You doing OK?

314
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:24,292
- Yeah, I'll be OK.
- OK. I know.

315
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,367
Yeah, you're a tough cookie.

316
00:15:27,336 --> 00:15:28,421
Ohh!

317
00:15:28,452 --> 00:15:30,423
Hey! Hello!

318
00:15:30,454 --> 00:15:32,456
Look who's here. The gang's all here.

319
00:15:32,487 --> 00:15:35,282
- Hi!
- Hi, Mrs Miles!

320
00:15:35,313 --> 00:15:38,285
Look at this. Oh, it's a study group.
Study buddies already.

321
00:15:38,316 --> 00:15:40,476
- You should be down here studying.
- Please stop, Mom.

322
00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:43,467
Look at you.
Boy, a sight for sore eyes, huh?

323
00:15:43,498 --> 00:15:47,367
Hello to my fellow Tigers,
fellow students,

324
00:15:47,398 --> 00:15:51,298
because somebody's mom
just enrolled in college!

325
00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:53,395
I'm referring to myself.

326
00:15:53,426 --> 00:15:55,355
Wait, you're going to school here now?

327
00:15:55,386 --> 00:15:57,513
She's thinking about it.
It's not for sure yet.

328
00:15:57,545 --> 00:16:00,516
It's pretty for sure.
I don't think I'm gonna change my mind.

329
00:16:00,548 --> 00:16:04,520
And, you know, it made me start wondering
when I was signing up today.

330
00:16:04,552 --> 00:16:09,421
I thought, "Wasn't Amanda talking about
switching to the archaeology department?"

331
00:16:09,452 --> 00:16:12,382
- Was that you?
- No, I'm art history.

332
00:16:12,414 --> 00:16:13,561
No. How about you?

333
00:16:14,343 --> 00:16:15,385
No, it's not me.

334
00:16:15,417 --> 00:16:19,327
No. I'm so sorry, we haven't met.
I haven't had the pleasure.

335
00:16:19,358 --> 00:16:21,391
- I'm Helen. Hi!
- Did I get lucky?

336
00:16:21,423 --> 00:16:25,354
Are you possibly an archaeology major?
There's usually two of us in a room.

337
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,564
I'm undeclared.

338
00:16:27,346 --> 00:16:28,586
(whispers): There's still time.

339
00:16:29,338 --> 00:16:30,482
There's still time. Check into it.

340
00:16:30,506 --> 00:16:33,384
Now, I couldn't help noticing

341
00:16:33,415 --> 00:16:35,615
that you're a little whisper older
than the other girls.

342
00:16:36,355 --> 00:16:38,503
Are you a TA or maybe a grad student?

343
00:16:38,534 --> 00:16:41,548
No, I'm a sophomore.
But I started college a little bit later

344
00:16:41,579 --> 00:16:43,508
because I was in a coma for eight years.

345
00:16:43,539 --> 00:16:45,427
Oh, my gosh!

346
00:16:45,458 --> 00:16:49,389
If I may, I'm just wondering,
how did it... how did that happen?

347
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:50,567
Yes, I was skydiving.

348
00:16:50,599 --> 00:16:52,403
(exhales) Boy!

349
00:16:52,434 --> 00:16:54,580
One minute you're falling out of
a plane, then the lights go out.

350
00:16:54,604 --> 00:16:57,387
Next thing I know, I wake up.
I think it's the next day

351
00:16:57,418 --> 00:16:59,609
but I've grown four inches
and suddenly I have C cups.

352
00:17:00,390 --> 00:17:01,506
It was eight years gone.

353
00:17:01,538 --> 00:17:04,530
I also have C cups. But I didn't have
to go into a coma for them.

354
00:17:04,561 --> 00:17:07,439
Mom! I think that's your cue.

355
00:17:07,471 --> 00:17:09,514
I think, maybe, you've gotta hit the road.

356
00:17:09,546 --> 00:17:11,558
- Yes, I'm sorry.
- Yeah.

357
00:17:11,589 --> 00:17:15,614
Yes. Put a fork in me. I'm done. So sorry.

358
00:17:16,396 --> 00:17:18,461
I'm gonna toddle off, on that note.

359
00:17:18,492 --> 00:17:19,545
So nice meeting you.

360
00:17:19,576 --> 00:17:23,455
So nice to meet you, Helen.
Girls, what a delight to see you again.

361
00:17:23,487 --> 00:17:25,562
OK, all right.

362
00:17:25,593 --> 00:17:29,493
Well, I'll see you around campus
or on the quad.

363
00:17:29,524 --> 00:17:31,505
- Nobody says that, Mom.
- Nobody says that?

364
00:17:31,536 --> 00:17:33,623
I'll bring it back.
See you in the quad, Tigers.

365
00:17:34,404 --> 00:17:35,500
Bye, Mrs Miles!

366
00:17:35,531 --> 00:17:37,523
AMANDA: And welcome.
- (door closes)

367
00:17:39,169 --> 00:17:41,306
♪ ST PAUL AND THE BROKEN BONES:
Sugar Dyed

368
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:46,155
So, here's your class schedule.

369
00:17:46,186 --> 00:17:48,262
Wow! I am pumped!

370
00:17:48,294 --> 00:17:50,369
- Thank you so much!
- You're so welcome.

371
00:17:52,152 --> 00:17:54,237
- All right, take care.
- Bye now.

372
00:17:54,268 --> 00:17:57,188
I already got senioritis. Kidding!

373
00:17:58,168 --> 00:17:59,211
Yes!

374
00:17:59,367 --> 00:18:01,369
♪ Ain't nobody, ain't nobody

375
00:18:03,288 --> 00:18:05,363
♪ Gonna steal my brand-new groove

376
00:18:06,145 --> 00:18:08,189
Ooh! Yes!

377
00:18:10,295 --> 00:18:12,391
♪ I'm about to lose my cool

378
00:18:14,309 --> 00:18:16,311
♪ I need you, babe

379
00:18:19,305 --> 00:18:22,329
Oh, did you see these in there?
They're tiny footballs!

380
00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:25,342
- Aren't they so cute?
- No idea what I'm gonna do with them.

381
00:18:25,373 --> 00:18:29,284
I guess I'll find tiny football players.
(chuckles)

382
00:18:32,307 --> 00:18:35,206
Let me just get my grip.

383
00:18:36,228 --> 00:18:37,388
You're a sight for sore eyes.

384
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:40,263
If you could just maybe grab that...

385
00:18:41,285 --> 00:18:43,277
I guess chivalry's dead.

386
00:18:43,308 --> 00:18:46,217
Wearing sweatpants in broad daylight.

387
00:18:46,248 --> 00:18:48,188
There's another one.

388
00:18:48,219 --> 00:18:50,398
Future Dans of America.

389
00:18:55,205 --> 00:18:56,312
Hello?

390
00:18:57,249 --> 00:18:59,209
Hi! Oh...

391
00:19:05,425 --> 00:19:07,406
- Don't turn on the lights.
- Ohh!

392
00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:10,242
Oh! (chuckles)

393
00:19:10,273 --> 00:19:12,223
Hi, there.

394
00:19:12,453 --> 00:19:17,426
I'm Deanna
and you must be Lenore or is it Leonor?

395
00:19:21,378 --> 00:19:24,319
OK, well, I'm sure we'll get into that.

396
00:19:25,341 --> 00:19:27,280
So we're roomies, huh?

397
00:19:27,426 --> 00:19:29,418
Fun to be roomies.

398
00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:31,326
Bunkmates.

399
00:19:33,286 --> 00:19:35,414
It's dark in here. Were you asleep?

400
00:19:35,445 --> 00:19:38,302
I don't sleep. I'm scared of the dark.

401
00:19:38,334 --> 00:19:40,388
(chuckles) Oh, boy.

402
00:19:40,419 --> 00:19:44,444
I'm scared of a lot of things.
I'm scared of crowds, books, flying,

403
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:47,364
people, ants, ketchup.

404
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,334
Oh, ketchup's a tough one for me.

405
00:19:49,366 --> 00:19:54,423
I mean, I like a moutarde
but I'm kind of a ketchup gal.

406
00:19:54,454 --> 00:19:56,445
I like to dunk my taters.

407
00:19:56,477 --> 00:19:58,447
OK. I like that.

408
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:02,451
OK, well, we are gonna get along
just great.

409
00:20:02,483 --> 00:20:04,349
Ohh!

410
00:20:04,381 --> 00:20:06,362
Look at that spring back.

411
00:20:06,393 --> 00:20:10,304
I'll tell you what,
I did not expect that kind of resilience.

412
00:20:10,481 --> 00:20:12,483
(Deanna laughs)

413
00:20:14,454 --> 00:20:16,425
(alarm bleeps)

414
00:20:16,456 --> 00:20:17,467
(alarm stops)

415
00:20:17,499 --> 00:20:20,377
Oh! First day at school!

416
00:20:20,408 --> 00:20:21,492
LEONOR: Shut up!
- Sorry.

417
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,411
(whispers): First day at school.

418
00:20:24,339 --> 00:20:27,373
Hey, guys. Go Tigers, right?

419
00:20:27,498 --> 00:20:29,427
Oh, man.

420
00:20:29,459 --> 00:20:31,492
Oh! I want it. Yes!

421
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:34,495
I'd love a brainstorming session,
I've got one.

422
00:20:34,526 --> 00:20:36,486
Hit it high! There we go.

423
00:20:37,352 --> 00:20:38,436
Hey, Mondays, huh?

424
00:20:38,468 --> 00:20:40,334
(laughs)

425
00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:42,473
Oh, this is amazing!

426
00:20:44,475 --> 00:20:46,320
(low dialogue)

427
00:20:52,378 --> 00:20:54,380
(Deanna exhales)

428
00:20:57,456 --> 00:21:00,418
OK. Let's do this.

429
00:21:00,449 --> 00:21:02,461
Good seats. Good pick.

430
00:21:02,493 --> 00:21:05,433
I'm gonna go a little further up
because of my progressives.

431
00:21:05,464 --> 00:21:08,353
You want a study buddy?
I'll give you my landline.

432
00:21:08,384 --> 00:21:10,438
Maybe we could kind of... Oh! Oh!

433
00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:11,564
- Hi!
- Hi!

434
00:21:12,398 --> 00:21:15,401
I hate to do this.
God, there's always that one, right?

435
00:21:15,433 --> 00:21:17,435
It's, like, "I gotta sit
in the centre-centre."

436
00:21:17,466 --> 00:21:20,386
Ooh, look at you. Real big feet.

437
00:21:20,418 --> 00:21:21,429
Ohh!

438
00:21:21,461 --> 00:21:23,588
Sorry, let me give you that back.
You got it.

439
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,444
- Hi!
- Hi.

440
00:21:25,475 --> 00:21:27,477
Hi, there. Oh, God, I'm sorry.

441
00:21:27,508 --> 00:21:29,448
Sorry. I apologise.

442
00:21:29,479 --> 00:21:32,451
(laughs) You got hit by school spirit.

443
00:21:32,482 --> 00:21:35,537
Wow! Look at you, all decked out.

444
00:21:35,568 --> 00:21:38,488
You know what?
I am excited to be in this class.

445
00:21:38,519 --> 00:21:41,533
Now, I have to say,
I'm surprised to see you in here.

446
00:21:41,564 --> 00:21:45,453
Well, after I met you,
I watched Indiana Jones.

447
00:21:45,485 --> 00:21:47,393
(exhales) The best.

448
00:21:47,424 --> 00:21:50,417
- Then, scuttlebutt on the street is...
- What is that?

449
00:21:50,448 --> 00:21:53,420
Everything's already been dug up,
so this is a really easy class.

450
00:21:53,451 --> 00:21:54,575
No, I gotta agree to disagree.

451
00:21:54,599 --> 00:21:57,570
But good news,
this means we're both Jurassic junkies.

452
00:21:57,602 --> 00:21:59,583
(both chuckle)

453
00:21:59,614 --> 00:22:01,564
Oh, look at this place. Oh.

454
00:22:01,595 --> 00:22:03,472
Oh, boy.

455
00:22:05,401 --> 00:22:08,425
Excuse me, I think your bag's got
a case of the dropsies.

456
00:22:08,456 --> 00:22:10,542
It went through the chute there.

457
00:22:10,573 --> 00:22:14,535
(grunts) Farther in than I thought.
You know what?

458
00:22:14,567 --> 00:22:15,568
That tip.

459
00:22:15,599 --> 00:22:17,632
The little tip of that cracked right off.

460
00:22:18,414 --> 00:22:21,480
But, luckily for you, I got a whole
haul of mechanical pencils

461
00:22:21,511 --> 00:22:23,544
so the lead keeps replenishing
as you twist.

462
00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:25,641
You want in on this, huh?

463
00:22:26,422 --> 00:22:28,466
- No, thank you.
- No?

464
00:22:28,571 --> 00:22:30,542
- But I love your sweater.
- (sniggers)

465
00:22:30,573 --> 00:22:32,471
Ohh!

466
00:22:32,502 --> 00:22:35,453
Thank you so much.
Yeah, I thought it really popped.

467
00:22:35,484 --> 00:22:36,663
Yeah, I was kidding.

468
00:22:37,445 --> 00:22:38,581
It's a horrible sweater.

469
00:22:38,612 --> 00:22:41,584
It's a horrible, super-sad mom sweater.

470
00:22:45,547 --> 00:22:47,455
OK.

471
00:22:47,486 --> 00:22:48,609
I see we're still doing that.

472
00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:52,491
Girls being mean to other girls
for no apparent reason.

473
00:22:52,522 --> 00:22:57,496
There is a reason. You're not a girl,
you're 1,000 years old.

474
00:22:57,527 --> 00:22:59,686
You're ancient. A relic.

475
00:23:00,572 --> 00:23:02,595
She's pleased with herself over that one.

476
00:23:02,627 --> 00:23:07,486
Well, guess what? If I'm a relic,
then I guess I'm in the right class.

477
00:23:07,517 --> 00:23:09,499
(chuckles) Whoo!

478
00:23:09,530 --> 00:23:10,645
Swoosh.

479
00:23:10,677 --> 00:23:12,637
It's an archaeology jam.

480
00:23:12,668 --> 00:23:16,610
Who made jam out of that mess of berries?
Me.

481
00:23:16,641 --> 00:23:18,560
LECTURER:
Good afternoon, everyone.

482
00:23:18,591 --> 00:23:22,532
Welcome to Archaeology 301.

483
00:23:23,554 --> 00:23:24,587
Oh, my God.

484
00:23:24,618 --> 00:23:26,682
I think that's Wayne Truzack.

485
00:23:26,714 --> 00:23:29,654
He was a classmate of mine 20 years ago.

486
00:23:29,685 --> 00:23:34,638
First of all, I wanna tell you that your
satisfaction in this class is guaranteed

487
00:23:34,669 --> 00:23:37,579
or you'll get double your mummy back.

488
00:23:37,610 --> 00:23:39,591
(Deanna chuckles)

489
00:23:39,623 --> 00:23:41,625
(she laughs hysterically)

490
00:23:42,668 --> 00:23:44,566
"Mummy back."

491
00:23:44,597 --> 00:23:46,672
- Oh!
- I don't get why that's funny.

492
00:23:46,703 --> 00:23:49,665
It is funny but it's also punny.

493
00:23:50,634 --> 00:23:53,512
Hey, freaks, shut up!

494
00:24:00,519 --> 00:24:01,645
(Deanna gasps softly)

495
00:24:02,573 --> 00:24:03,699
No! No! No!

496
00:24:07,745 --> 00:24:09,747
(Deanna chuckles nervously)

497
00:24:10,634 --> 00:24:12,531
No. No. No.

498
00:24:21,562 --> 00:24:23,564
I brought snacks!

499
00:24:26,557 --> 00:24:29,539
I don't know. I'm loving my classes.

500
00:24:29,570 --> 00:24:31,739
They're amazing. I feel like I'm learning.

501
00:24:31,770 --> 00:24:34,596
I think I felt for so long like
my brain was in a freezer

502
00:24:34,627 --> 00:24:36,650
and now I've really come room temp.

503
00:24:36,681 --> 00:24:37,766
It's just great!

504
00:24:38,548 --> 00:24:40,766
- Can I say something?
- You could say whatever you want, Debbie.

505
00:24:40,790 --> 00:24:43,751
- You don't have to ask.
- Thanks, Amanda.

506
00:24:43,782 --> 00:24:46,702
I think it's really great
you had something bad happen to you

507
00:24:46,733 --> 00:24:48,799
and that you're making lemons
out of lemonade.

508
00:24:49,705 --> 00:24:53,616
I think you did kind of flip-flop
that saying.

509
00:24:53,647 --> 00:24:55,628
It's supposed to be
"lemonade out of lemons".

510
00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:58,756
You take something sour
and you turn it into something sweet.

511
00:24:58,788 --> 00:25:01,687
Pretty sure it's
"make lemons out of lemonade".

512
00:25:01,718 --> 00:25:04,596
It's kind of the idea that
something bad happened to you,

513
00:25:04,627 --> 00:25:08,610
like your husband leaving you
and squashing you to make lemonade.

514
00:25:08,641 --> 00:25:11,749
Then pulling yourself back together again
and now you're a whole lemon.

515
00:25:11,780 --> 00:25:15,680
Huh! That was a very visual story.

516
00:25:15,711 --> 00:25:17,755
Very painful visual

517
00:25:17,786 --> 00:25:22,697
but then the whole lemon really does
bring it back around to the flip side.

518
00:25:22,728 --> 00:25:23,803
So thank you for that.

519
00:25:23,835 --> 00:25:27,660
I appreciate the sentiment
and I appreciate these cheeks.

520
00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:30,644
Oh, my God! I can't let go! (laughs)

521
00:25:30,675 --> 00:25:32,666
Deanna, you wanna stick around
and hang out?

522
00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:35,815
I would love to hang.
My first college hang.

523
00:25:35,847 --> 00:25:39,611
I am free as a bird. I'm down to clown.

524
00:25:39,642 --> 00:25:41,665
Deanna's such a mouthful.

525
00:25:41,696 --> 00:25:42,856
What if I called you Dee Dee?

526
00:25:43,677 --> 00:25:45,638
I have always wanted a nickname.

527
00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:47,713
What about Dee Rock or Dee Train?

528
00:25:47,744 --> 00:25:48,787
Or Glenn?

529
00:25:48,818 --> 00:25:50,695
Why would we call her Glenn?

530
00:25:50,726 --> 00:25:54,741
Just cos I love Glenn Close
and I was thinking about her.

531
00:25:54,772 --> 00:25:56,847
- I love Glenn Close.
- You do?

532
00:25:57,629 --> 00:25:58,773
Fatal Attraction, best movie ever.

533
00:25:58,797 --> 00:26:00,852
- That the one where she boiled a rabbit?
- It is.

534
00:26:01,633 --> 00:26:04,667
I think I showed that to Maddie
a little too early on

535
00:26:04,699 --> 00:26:06,795
because she urinated in her underpants.

536
00:26:06,826 --> 00:26:07,827
Mom!

537
00:26:07,859 --> 00:26:11,884
And would not eat anything out of a stew
pot for a good six to eight months.

538
00:26:12,666 --> 00:26:16,711
Or she would just keep re-urinating
in her underpants.

539
00:26:16,743 --> 00:26:17,765
Mom, stop!

540
00:26:17,796 --> 00:26:20,663
Let's watch it.
Let's rent it. Movie night.

541
00:26:20,695 --> 00:26:23,677
Yeah, you know...
I love a good movie night.

542
00:26:23,708 --> 00:26:27,681
But I think...
my mom does not want to hang out here.

543
00:26:27,712 --> 00:26:31,664
She's just stopping by. She's not gonna
hang out with her daughter's friends.

544
00:26:31,695 --> 00:26:33,907
That would be so weird.
That would be weird.

545
00:26:35,678 --> 00:26:38,797
Maddie's right.
I can't hang out right now.

546
00:26:38,828 --> 00:26:42,749
I've gotta get home and get in some
good hang time with my new roomie.

547
00:26:42,780 --> 00:26:45,814
- What's her name?
- You know what? It's Leonor or Lenore.

548
00:26:45,846 --> 00:26:46,857
I'm not really sure.

549
00:26:46,888 --> 00:26:49,902
We're just kind of getting used
to each other, I'm sure.

550
00:26:50,684 --> 00:26:52,870
She kind of mutters around the room,
talking to herself.

551
00:26:52,894 --> 00:26:56,773
I just kind of get a Voldemort vibe
from her.

552
00:26:56,805 --> 00:27:00,694
But I will take a rain check on the movie,
if that... Or not.

553
00:27:00,850 --> 00:27:02,779
- Rain check.
- OK. Rain check.

554
00:27:02,811 --> 00:27:03,832
Aw!

555
00:27:03,864 --> 00:27:06,825
I'll make the popcorn.
I got a sweet and savoury one.

556
00:27:06,856 --> 00:27:07,888
- Great!
- Bye.

557
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,724
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Dee Rock.

558
00:27:09,755 --> 00:27:10,871
- She's amazing.
- Yeah.

559
00:27:10,903 --> 00:27:14,792
That was very nice of her
to bring food for you guys.

560
00:27:14,824 --> 00:27:16,805
I love your mom.

561
00:27:16,836 --> 00:27:19,901
Last thing. You're not gonna...
Thunder dunder clouds up ahead.

562
00:27:19,933 --> 00:27:22,884
And I just said rain check.
It's like I conjured it.

563
00:27:22,915 --> 00:27:26,804
- Oh, great.
- OK. Bye-bye. Last hug.

564
00:27:26,836 --> 00:27:27,857
- OK.
- I love you.

565
00:27:27,889 --> 00:27:29,776
Look at her dancing me out!

566
00:27:29,807 --> 00:27:31,747
We're like Fred and... OK.

567
00:27:37,857 --> 00:27:39,817
You're a bookworm, huh?

568
00:27:41,757 --> 00:27:43,915
Oh, my God. How long have you been there?

569
00:27:43,946 --> 00:27:45,813
Six minutes.

570
00:27:45,981 --> 00:27:47,867
(chuckles nervously)

571
00:27:49,932 --> 00:27:51,966
You're a quiet one.
(chuckles nervously)

572
00:27:52,747 --> 00:27:53,884
You get good grades, huh?

573
00:27:53,916 --> 00:27:55,803
Uh... well...

574
00:27:55,834 --> 00:27:59,776
I try. I really enjoy
the subject matter and...

575
00:27:59,807 --> 00:28:02,820
I don't know,
I just find archaeology a constant wonder.

576
00:28:02,852 --> 00:28:05,855
You like to dig up stuff?
I like to bury stuff.

577
00:28:05,886 --> 00:28:07,763
OK.

578
00:28:07,794 --> 00:28:09,994
Look at us! Kind of yin and yang...

579
00:28:10,776 --> 00:28:13,008
having our first conversation, huh?

580
00:28:13,790 --> 00:28:14,864
Fun.

581
00:28:14,895 --> 00:28:18,951
Listen, while we're gabbing,
I was just kind of wondering...

582
00:28:18,982 --> 00:28:21,839
It's been a few weeks.

583
00:28:21,871 --> 00:28:23,988
I'm thinking, "I wonder if she's ever
gonna go...

584
00:28:24,020 --> 00:28:26,792
outside the room?"

585
00:28:26,824 --> 00:28:29,921
Maybe for a class or a...
you know, a coven meeting.

586
00:28:30,870 --> 00:28:31,913
I'm kidding.

587
00:28:31,944 --> 00:28:33,946
I've gone on the other side of that door.

588
00:28:33,977 --> 00:28:34,989
Oh, yeah...

589
00:28:35,020 --> 00:28:37,971
I find you behind that door all the time

590
00:28:38,002 --> 00:28:40,797
but that's inside my closet.

591
00:28:40,828 --> 00:28:42,851
So, I was just wondering...

592
00:28:42,882 --> 00:28:47,919
are you ever gonna go out of maybe
that door... into the, let's say, hallway?

593
00:28:48,044 --> 00:28:50,807
I'll probably stick to that door.

594
00:28:50,838 --> 00:28:52,819
- You wanna stick to my closet?
- Yeah.

595
00:28:52,851 --> 00:28:53,966
OK.

596
00:28:54,988 --> 00:28:56,990
- I like you.
- Ohh!

597
00:28:57,022 --> 00:28:58,930
(Deanna clears her throat)

598
00:28:59,837 --> 00:29:00,964
And we're friends.

599
00:29:00,995 --> 00:29:02,840
I certainly hope so.

600
00:29:02,872 --> 00:29:04,032
I'm might go back to my room.

601
00:29:05,948 --> 00:29:07,001
OK.

602
00:29:14,008 --> 00:29:16,886
Mm! Wow! That smells great. What is that?

603
00:29:16,917 --> 00:29:19,044
Yes, it's Fiori Antichi Della Novella.

604
00:29:19,076 --> 00:29:21,067
Remember? We got it a Firenze.

605
00:29:21,849 --> 00:29:23,069
Mi piace.

606
00:29:23,851 --> 00:29:25,019
- It turns me on.
- Yeah.

607
00:29:26,062 --> 00:29:29,889
(inhales deeply) Mm!

608
00:29:30,848 --> 00:29:32,026
CHRISTINE:
What is that smell?

609
00:29:32,933 --> 00:29:35,915
It's probably garlic and Dial.

610
00:29:35,947 --> 00:29:37,886
And a little mayo.

611
00:29:37,918 --> 00:29:39,900
I had an Italian sandwich.

612
00:29:39,931 --> 00:29:41,088
They're lovers.

613
00:29:41,870 --> 00:29:43,035
No, they're not. They're jealous.

614
00:29:43,059 --> 00:29:45,092
No, we're best... best friends.

615
00:29:45,874 --> 00:29:48,012
- Yes.
- I can't believe you brought her.

616
00:29:48,043 --> 00:29:50,076
I can't believe you brought Christine.

617
00:29:50,108 --> 00:29:52,996
I can't believe you shacked up
with a bitch!

618
00:29:53,027 --> 00:29:54,080
MARCIE:
Hey! Hey!

619
00:29:54,112 --> 00:29:57,115
- That is not gonna be useful today.
- This bitch...

620
00:29:57,897 --> 00:29:59,961
has a lot of reason to be here.

621
00:29:59,993 --> 00:30:02,964
I am an excellent negotiator.
I am a realtor.

622
00:30:02,996 --> 00:30:05,978
Yes. Not only do you destroy homes,
you also sell them.

623
00:30:06,009 --> 00:30:08,095
- Isn't that come full circle?
- Oh, good burn!

624
00:30:08,127 --> 00:30:09,919
DAN:
OK.

625
00:30:09,950 --> 00:30:11,098
Hello, all. As you know,

626
00:30:11,130 --> 00:30:15,113
this mediation is here to help facilitate
the terms of your divorce.

627
00:30:15,895 --> 00:30:17,063
So, just so you know,

628
00:30:17,094 --> 00:30:19,013
this is not a court of law, all right?

629
00:30:19,044 --> 00:30:23,058
You will all be civilised and you will
please address all speech to me.

630
00:30:23,089 --> 00:30:24,143
- To you.
- To you.

631
00:30:24,925 --> 00:30:26,009
- No crosstalk.
- No.

632
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:30,076
Even if we wanna talk to one another,
we can't. If I wanted to say, "Dina..."

633
00:30:30,107 --> 00:30:32,912
- You'd look at me.
- I'd look at you, I'd say, "Dina...

634
00:30:32,943 --> 00:30:36,019
I am going to have...
a beautiful life with your husband...

635
00:30:36,050 --> 00:30:37,072
Dina."

636
00:30:37,103 --> 00:30:41,014
- If I were to say, "Marky..."
- Marcie.

637
00:30:41,045 --> 00:30:43,933
"..you're gonna be very disappointed
in bed

638
00:30:43,965 --> 00:30:46,072
cos Dan's downstairs
is not gonna do the trick."

639
00:30:46,103 --> 00:30:48,032
(Christine laughs)

640
00:30:48,063 --> 00:30:51,066
I don't know why you're laughing.
Frank's not great downstairs, either.

641
00:30:51,098 --> 00:30:53,089
MEDIATOR: To me.
- We play tennis together.

642
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:56,040
- Frank is no big deal down there.
- He's right. Frank is not.

643
00:30:56,071 --> 00:30:57,166
I have a question, Dan.

644
00:30:57,948 --> 00:31:01,108
Why is it that you're playing tennis
with Frank pantsless?

645
00:31:01,139 --> 00:31:04,079
- This is not helping our process.
- Thank you.

646
00:31:04,111 --> 00:31:08,063
- OK. Can we proceed?
- She's not signing anything, Your Honour.

647
00:31:08,094 --> 00:31:09,116
If I may.

648
00:31:09,147 --> 00:31:12,056
I'm not a judge. Remember,
I said this isn't a court of law.

649
00:31:13,015 --> 00:31:16,967
My name is Christine Davenport,
good friend to Deanna.

650
00:31:16,999 --> 00:31:18,145
And I am here as a support.

651
00:31:18,177 --> 00:31:25,070
And also I have been studying
lots of documents on legalzoom.com.

652
00:31:25,101 --> 00:31:28,021
Thank you. Thank you for that.
I just want to get this over with.

653
00:31:28,052 --> 00:31:29,074
MARCIE:
Terrifying!

654
00:31:29,105 --> 00:31:35,049
I want it on the record that the accused
are currently in the process

655
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:40,106
of selling my client's home...
and not splitting the proceeds.

656
00:31:40,137 --> 00:31:45,226
Because the house was 100 per cent
in Daniel's name. So...

657
00:31:46,008 --> 00:31:49,000
That was our house, Dan.
You know that was our house.

658
00:31:49,032 --> 00:31:52,191
I understand, but we're gonna settle this,
and that's why we're here, OK?

659
00:31:52,222 --> 00:31:54,068
- Daniel...
- Don't interject.

660
00:31:54,099 --> 00:31:56,165
- Don't be a weenie.
- I'm not being a weenie.

661
00:31:56,196 --> 00:31:58,041
- OK...
- I'm not being a weenie.

662
00:31:58,072 --> 00:32:00,242
Well, that's debatable. This is not...

663
00:32:01,024 --> 00:32:02,157
This is not helping our process.

664
00:32:02,181 --> 00:32:06,102
There is no probable clause
to implicate this witness.

665
00:32:06,133 --> 00:32:08,041
I move to dismiss.

666
00:32:08,072 --> 00:32:12,097
I just want to say for the record, I just
needed an upgrade in my life, Deanna.

667
00:32:12,129 --> 00:32:14,256
- You son of a...
MEDIATOR: OK. To me, please.

668
00:32:15,038 --> 00:32:17,050
I'm sorry. You son of a bitch.

669
00:32:17,081 --> 00:32:20,043
- No, you're the son of a bitch.
- You're the son of a bitch!

670
00:32:20,074 --> 00:32:22,139
- You're the son of a bitch.
- I object!

671
00:32:22,170 --> 00:32:24,266
I object! I'm not even a judge. OK?

672
00:32:25,048 --> 00:32:26,195
I'm just gonna take...

673
00:32:26,226 --> 00:32:29,083
I'm just gonna take a break.
Gotta strategise.

674
00:32:29,114 --> 00:32:30,194
MARCIE:
Are you coming back?

675
00:32:30,219 --> 00:32:34,036
I refuse to disclose information
about my client.

676
00:32:36,164 --> 00:32:37,280
Case adjourned.

677
00:32:38,260 --> 00:32:40,126
Deanna!

678
00:32:40,158 --> 00:32:42,201
We know what room she's in.
We don't need to yell.

679
00:32:42,232 --> 00:32:45,069
- I like to yell!
- Let her yell.

680
00:32:45,100 --> 00:32:47,133
Guys, why are we going
to see my mom right now?

681
00:32:47,165 --> 00:32:49,292
Because we haven't seen her all week
and we miss her.

682
00:32:55,173 --> 00:32:56,299
Hey, Mom. What's up?

683
00:32:57,081 --> 00:33:00,073
Hey, what are you guys doing in here?

684
00:33:00,105 --> 00:33:02,065
- What's wrong?
- (sighs)

685
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,203
We filed our paperwork today,

686
00:33:05,235 --> 00:33:09,155
so your dad and I are
officially getting divorced.

687
00:33:10,220 --> 00:33:12,118
Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.

688
00:33:12,149 --> 00:33:15,204
I'm sorry. I don't even like
talking to you about this stuff.

689
00:33:15,235 --> 00:33:17,143
No, don't worry at all.

690
00:33:17,175 --> 00:33:20,167
I just know he's gonna fight me
on, like, every little thing.

691
00:33:20,199 --> 00:33:22,253
So it's just...
it's a little frustrating is all.

692
00:33:22,284 --> 00:33:25,276
- That looks really good.
- Yeah, it used to be in a can.

693
00:33:25,308 --> 00:33:27,174
Can I say something?

694
00:33:27,206 --> 00:33:28,646
- Just say it, Debbie.
- Just say it.

695
00:33:29,114 --> 00:33:30,209
Yes, honey.

696
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,232
We need to get you jackhammer blasted.

697
00:33:34,119 --> 00:33:37,247
I just am not really in the mood
to kind of, you know, hang out.

698
00:33:37,278 --> 00:33:40,271
- And I don't want to impose, so...
- Come on!

699
00:33:41,282 --> 00:33:43,128
You're not imposing, Mom.

700
00:33:43,159 --> 00:33:45,192
- I am imposing.
- No, you're not.

701
00:33:45,225 --> 00:33:46,351
You're not imposing.

702
00:33:47,132 --> 00:33:50,115
You just got some really rough news
and to be honest,

703
00:33:50,146 --> 00:33:51,300
we both got really rough news.

704
00:33:51,324 --> 00:33:55,235
But, you're in college now.
You gotta learn how to party through it.

705
00:33:55,266 --> 00:33:58,248
All right, girl.
I'm gonna go to a party with my mom.

706
00:33:58,279 --> 00:34:00,292
Let's do it. I'm gonna be that girl!

707
00:34:00,323 --> 00:34:03,190
Come on. I wanna...
♪ Party with my mama

708
00:34:03,222 --> 00:34:05,276
♪ We all wanna party with your mama

709
00:34:05,307 --> 00:34:09,217
♪ Party with your mama
Party with your mama

710
00:34:09,374 --> 00:34:13,273
- All right. I'm down to clown!
- Dee Rock's down to clown!

711
00:34:13,305 --> 00:34:15,338
I am also down to clown.
I'm always down to clown.

712
00:34:15,369 --> 00:34:17,372
It's just something that I do
all the time.

713
00:34:18,153 --> 00:34:19,364
- I like your vibe.
- Why?

714
00:34:21,449 --> 00:34:23,430
(chatter and laughter)

715
00:34:23,461 --> 00:34:26,600
- Oh, it's pretty lively!
- Yeah, it's a party, Mom.

716
00:34:26,631 --> 00:34:28,633
Well, it's also a school night.

717
00:34:29,415 --> 00:34:31,542
Dee, I think those guys
just checked you out.

718
00:34:31,574 --> 00:34:33,430
- No, they weren't!
- Yes, they were.

719
00:34:33,461 --> 00:34:36,620
They're probably just looking at my smock.
It tends to catch the light.

720
00:34:36,652 --> 00:34:39,436
Oh, they're so young.

721
00:34:39,561 --> 00:34:41,500
I think I'm too old to be here.

722
00:34:41,532 --> 00:34:43,471
No, come on! It'll be so fun.

723
00:34:43,502 --> 00:34:45,662
Let's rock out with our lady dongs out.

724
00:34:46,443 --> 00:34:47,653
That's not a thing.

725
00:34:48,434 --> 00:34:49,530
(music pounding)

726
00:34:49,561 --> 00:34:51,428
Shots! Shots! Shots!

727
00:34:51,459 --> 00:34:54,462
- What do we want?
- Full velocity!

728
00:34:54,493 --> 00:34:56,464
♪ BLIND SCUBA DIVERS:
Workin' On My Tan B*tch

729
00:34:56,495 --> 00:35:00,520
Oh, it's so loud in here!
I can barely hear myself think.

730
00:35:02,501 --> 00:35:03,544
Hey!

731
00:35:03,575 --> 00:35:06,505
There's your boyfriend.
Doesn't he look sharp?

732
00:35:06,537 --> 00:35:08,507
- Yeah, let's go get a drink.
- Oh, stairs!

733
00:35:08,539 --> 00:35:09,581
Yep.

734
00:35:09,613 --> 00:35:12,574
I just wish you would have let me
bring a covered dish.

735
00:35:12,605 --> 00:35:16,453
- That would have been so weird.
- No, it's weird to not bring something.

736
00:35:16,484 --> 00:35:17,695
- Hell, no.
- Hell, no.

737
00:35:18,476 --> 00:35:21,479
Maddie, you're not bringing
old people to this party.

738
00:35:21,510 --> 00:35:23,690
Absolutely not. No moms allowed.

739
00:35:24,471 --> 00:35:27,569
I will break your face.
No-one will recognise you.

740
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,572
- You'll die in a ditch.
- OK, OK, OK.

741
00:35:30,603 --> 00:35:32,532
OK, my mom needs a drink.

742
00:35:32,564 --> 00:35:35,650
So back up before I back you up!

743
00:35:36,589 --> 00:35:37,662
Hop out!

744
00:35:38,705 --> 00:35:41,656
I'm so proud of you for owning your power.

745
00:35:41,687 --> 00:35:43,564
Don't escalate it.

746
00:35:43,596 --> 00:35:45,556
But, wow! Impressive.

747
00:35:45,587 --> 00:35:47,652
God, I don't know what's sadder,

748
00:35:47,683 --> 00:35:51,572
the mom perm... or the mom boobs.

749
00:35:51,697 --> 00:35:55,555
Mom perm! I gotta tell... Time-out, guys.

750
00:35:55,587 --> 00:35:57,736
God-given curls.
All I'm doing is a little...

751
00:35:58,517 --> 00:36:00,739
maybe a foam mousse,
a little spray, hot roller

752
00:36:01,521 --> 00:36:03,564
and I set it, and I forget it.

753
00:36:03,596 --> 00:36:07,568
And secondly, these allowed this one
to suckle at these teats

754
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,000
- for 28 wonderful...
- We're not...

755
00:36:09,508 --> 00:36:12,511
- We're not...
- ..wonderful tender months.

756
00:36:12,542 --> 00:36:15,701
- I wear them around my waist proudly.
- This isn't the time.

757
00:36:16,713 --> 00:36:18,569
I just feel like...

758
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,760
I don't know if it's more pathetic
to party with your mom...

759
00:36:22,542 --> 00:36:24,606
or to party with your daughter.

760
00:36:25,607 --> 00:36:28,548
(scoffs)
Come on. Let's do something cool.

761
00:36:28,579 --> 00:36:30,717
Real cool. Bye, nerds.

762
00:36:36,651 --> 00:36:39,643
OK, this was a lot of fun.

763
00:36:39,674 --> 00:36:43,699
Um, but I want you to enjoy yourselves
tonight, so I'm just gonna go.

764
00:36:43,730 --> 00:36:44,763
No, no, no.

765
00:36:45,545 --> 00:36:47,745
- We're gonna have a good time.
- I should not be here.

766
00:36:47,776 --> 00:36:50,644
This is not a party for me.

767
00:36:50,675 --> 00:36:52,594
If you go, evil wins!

768
00:36:52,625 --> 00:36:56,608
OK, you know what?
I have an idea. Let's go to the bathroom.

769
00:36:56,639 --> 00:36:58,673
- Oh, I don't have to tinkle.
- I think you do.

770
00:36:58,704 --> 00:37:02,645
I think I'd know if I had to tinkle.
Except that one time.

771
00:37:02,677 --> 00:37:05,565
All right. Let's go.

772
00:37:05,596 --> 00:37:07,588
Please tell me you're not doing
the cocaine.

773
00:37:07,619 --> 00:37:08,756
Oh, my God! No! Come on.

774
00:37:09,737 --> 00:37:13,657
No, I already told you.
I do not have to go to the bathroom.

775
00:37:13,689 --> 00:37:17,578
Mom, you're a college girl now
and we gotta make some changes.

776
00:37:17,818 --> 00:37:19,653
What does that mean?

777
00:37:19,684 --> 00:37:21,613
- Let's start with these glasses.
- No!

778
00:37:21,644 --> 00:37:23,667
- You gotta start wearing contact lenses.
- No!

779
00:37:23,699 --> 00:37:25,607
This is horrible!

780
00:37:25,638 --> 00:37:28,641
Then this, this is just...
Let's get this off.

781
00:37:28,672 --> 00:37:31,644
- Come on, Mom.
- Oh, my God! What has gotten into you?

782
00:37:31,675 --> 00:37:34,824
Don't fight it, Mom! It's like a Band-Aid.
You gotta rip it off quickly.

783
00:37:35,606 --> 00:37:37,827
- All I have on is my undershirt.
- Yeah!

784
00:37:38,714 --> 00:37:40,747
I'm gonna unbutton.

785
00:37:40,778 --> 00:37:42,749
Not one, not two...

786
00:37:42,781 --> 00:37:44,636
but three.

787
00:37:44,667 --> 00:37:46,681
Not three buttons, no!

788
00:37:46,712 --> 00:37:47,838
Look at your breasts!

789
00:37:48,620 --> 00:37:50,727
- Mom!
- What? I don't know what's happening.

790
00:37:50,758 --> 00:37:53,625
- Those are gorgeous!
- They're all right.

791
00:37:53,657 --> 00:37:56,753
Maybe how about we just do something
about that hair just a little bit?

792
00:37:56,785 --> 00:37:59,788
No! Oh, God, it's full of hair.

793
00:37:59,819 --> 00:38:02,624
Come on, it'll be fine. Let me have it.

794
00:38:02,655 --> 00:38:04,678
No! Oh, God, don't! No!

795
00:38:04,709 --> 00:38:07,775
Hey, what's up?
You're that girl in the coma, right?

796
00:38:07,806 --> 00:38:09,631
Not any more.

797
00:38:09,662 --> 00:38:12,655
- Yeah, I follow you on Twitter.
- I don't date fans.

798
00:38:13,770 --> 00:38:14,803
OK.

799
00:38:15,878 --> 00:38:17,701
So beautiful.

800
00:38:18,661 --> 00:38:19,774
Oh, God. Now I've got a bare...

801
00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:21,821
You know what I can't wear is a bare lip.

802
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:24,762
(mutters) What is that?

803
00:38:24,793 --> 00:38:26,670
It's mauve.

804
00:38:27,869 --> 00:38:30,674
- You know I love mauve.
- (chuckles)

805
00:38:33,781 --> 00:38:36,867
No, I'm not a fan, I just...
I got a lot of respect for comas.

806
00:38:37,775 --> 00:38:39,808
I like sleeping pretty long, too, I guess.

807
00:38:41,862 --> 00:38:43,749
Whoa!

808
00:38:43,781 --> 00:38:45,751
Oh, God! Are you in a coma again?

809
00:38:45,783 --> 00:38:47,785
Oh, God, I gotta get help.

810
00:38:50,788 --> 00:38:51,883
Can I look? Can I look now?

811
00:38:51,915 --> 00:38:53,833
Yes! I think you're done.

812
00:38:58,849 --> 00:39:00,819
Hey! Wow!

813
00:39:01,841 --> 00:39:04,709
My God! "What are you, 20?"

814
00:39:04,844 --> 00:39:07,691
- OK. I wouldn't go that far.
- I'm 21.

815
00:39:07,722 --> 00:39:08,775
OK.

816
00:39:08,807 --> 00:39:10,850
You know,
I used to wear my hair like this.

817
00:39:10,881 --> 00:39:12,831
Eons ago...

818
00:39:12,863 --> 00:39:15,741
when you were in here. (laughs)

819
00:39:15,772 --> 00:39:17,722
You look so beautiful, Mom.

820
00:39:17,888 --> 00:39:19,734
Wow!

821
00:39:19,765 --> 00:39:21,861
You know what? OK.

822
00:39:21,892 --> 00:39:23,822
I think you're ready, college girl.

823
00:39:24,823 --> 00:39:27,794
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, let's go. But let's leave this.

824
00:39:27,826 --> 00:39:30,735
Let's never touch...
or talk about that brush again.

825
00:39:30,766 --> 00:39:31,851
OK.

826
00:39:31,935 --> 00:39:33,864
- Thank you.
- Of course. I love you.

827
00:39:33,895 --> 00:39:35,845
I love you, too.

828
00:39:35,876 --> 00:39:36,898
Boom.

829
00:39:39,745 --> 00:39:40,871
- Hey.
- Hey!

830
00:39:42,873 --> 00:39:44,750
Get a room!

831
00:39:44,781 --> 00:39:47,847
Just kidding, don't. L-O-L. Hashtag.

832
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,881
- Hey, Ms Miles.
- Hi, how are you?

833
00:39:50,912 --> 00:39:52,820
Good. You guys both look amazing!

834
00:39:52,852 --> 00:39:54,822
- Thank you.
- Charmer.

835
00:39:54,854 --> 00:39:56,884
I heard you're back at school now,
which is awesome.

836
00:39:56,908 --> 00:39:58,878
- It is.
- You get to party with all of us.

837
00:39:58,910 --> 00:39:59,963
Uh, well...

838
00:40:00,745 --> 00:40:03,873
How about a drink or something?
Let me introduce you to my friend Jack.

839
00:40:03,904 --> 00:40:04,979
Hi, I'm Jack.

840
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:06,960
Deanna. Hi.

841
00:40:07,940 --> 00:40:09,786
Wow, that's...

842
00:40:09,817 --> 00:40:12,779
You have wonderfully intricate hair.

843
00:40:13,842 --> 00:40:15,782
- Thank you.
- Yeah.

844
00:40:15,938 --> 00:40:17,930
Well, can I get you something to drink?

845
00:40:17,961 --> 00:40:22,945
Oh... OK. I would love a Chardonnay,
maybe something oaky.

846
00:40:23,915 --> 00:40:25,771
Um...

847
00:40:26,772 --> 00:40:27,947
Did you pick up the Chardonnay?

848
00:40:27,971 --> 00:40:32,788
- We have some boxed wine.
- We have some boxed wine.

849
00:40:32,820 --> 00:40:33,966
- In a box?
- I don't know.

850
00:40:33,998 --> 00:40:35,906
I'm sure it tastes real cardboardy.

851
00:40:35,937 --> 00:40:38,024
I'm sure it tastes very cardboardy!

852
00:40:38,805 --> 00:40:42,028
Really, it comes in a plastic bladder,
so it's not touching the cardboard.

853
00:40:42,809 --> 00:40:45,249
I told him we should not get anything
that comes in a bladder.

854
00:40:45,813 --> 00:40:48,826
- I'm the only one who likes wine.
- Oh, I love wine!

855
00:40:48,857 --> 00:40:50,974
But I don't like drinking it
out of bladders.

856
00:40:51,850 --> 00:40:53,050
- I don't blame you.
- (laughs)

857
00:40:53,915 --> 00:40:55,885
She'll just have a shot and a beer,
please.

858
00:40:55,917 --> 00:40:56,938
- Perfect.
- There we go.

859
00:40:56,970 --> 00:41:01,015
Why not? I'm here to get
the full college experience.

860
00:41:01,047 --> 00:41:04,050
So... what is the spirit du jour?

861
00:41:04,832 --> 00:41:06,990
This is 100 per cent agave tequila.

862
00:41:07,021 --> 00:41:10,890
Agave! I use that when I bake muffins.

863
00:41:10,921 --> 00:41:11,953
- OK.
- She loves to bake.

864
00:41:11,985 --> 00:41:13,903
- I do.
- All right, let's do it.

865
00:41:14,946 --> 00:41:18,065
- What do we want?
- Full velocity!

866
00:41:18,846 --> 00:41:20,953
And equal work for equal pay.

867
00:41:23,925 --> 00:41:25,864
Oh, God. (coughs and splutters)

868
00:41:25,895 --> 00:41:28,033
- Oh, God.
- That is aggressive.

869
00:41:29,034 --> 00:41:30,953
That's just burning.

870
00:41:30,984 --> 00:41:33,059
It's burning all the way down.

871
00:41:33,841 --> 00:41:35,926
Just follow my lead
and we'll do this again, OK?

872
00:41:35,958 --> 00:41:38,940
- We'll try it again.
- (Maddie chuckles)

873
00:41:39,962 --> 00:41:41,984
All right. What do we want?

874
00:41:42,016 --> 00:41:44,091
Full velocity!

875
00:41:44,873 --> 00:41:49,097
Oh, and cleaner oceans.
Our coral reefs are dying, guys.

876
00:41:50,013 --> 00:41:52,922
No, er... Ms Miles...

877
00:41:56,093 --> 00:42:01,964
Look, Ms Miles, coral reefs and equal
work for equal pay, all great things.

878
00:42:01,995 --> 00:42:03,111
But at our parties...

879
00:42:03,893 --> 00:42:08,105
when somebody says "What do we want?"
we just say "Full velocity."

880
00:42:08,887 --> 00:42:10,083
You don't need to say anything else.

881
00:42:10,107 --> 00:42:11,974
It's more of a party tradition.

882
00:42:12,005 --> 00:42:15,905
OK. So, it's just a flat answer of full...

883
00:42:16,124 --> 00:42:18,887
- Velocity.
- Velocity.

884
00:42:18,918 --> 00:42:20,993
- OK.
- You ready?

885
00:42:21,024 --> 00:42:22,891
Well...

886
00:42:22,922 --> 00:42:24,087
Third time's the charm, right?

887
00:42:24,111 --> 00:42:27,979
- What do we want?
- Full velocity!

888
00:42:28,011 --> 00:42:32,912
And full maternity leave
for non-gender-specific working parents.

889
00:42:34,966 --> 00:42:36,937
And full velocity!

890
00:42:36,968 --> 00:42:38,970
(whooping and cheering)

891
00:42:40,107 --> 00:42:42,109
♪ FERGIE:
M.I.L.F. $

892
00:42:49,158 --> 00:42:51,014
Where's my mom?

893
00:42:51,045 --> 00:42:53,954
Oh, she's over there busting it out.

894
00:42:56,957 --> 00:42:58,010
Hi, honey!

895
00:42:58,042 --> 00:43:00,012
Hi!

896
00:43:01,107 --> 00:43:04,049
Ohh! I feel that in my C-section scar!

897
00:43:04,986 --> 00:43:06,134
- Are you OK?
- Ooh, yeah!

898
00:43:06,165 --> 00:43:08,167
♪ Let me see you MILF shake

899
00:43:09,147 --> 00:43:11,149
♪ Let me see you MILF shake

900
00:43:13,016 --> 00:43:14,997
♪ ED SHEERAN:
Thinking Out Loud

901
00:43:15,028 --> 00:43:18,063
♪ Your soul could never grow old

902
00:43:18,094 --> 00:43:20,096
♪ It's evergreen

903
00:43:21,170 --> 00:43:24,965
It's not over. It's full velocity!
Let's go! Come on, guys!

904
00:43:24,997 --> 00:43:27,958
♪ Baby, your smile's

905
00:43:27,989 --> 00:43:32,056
♪ Forever in my mind and memory...

906
00:43:38,136 --> 00:43:40,981
(whispers): Oh... Oh, my God!

907
00:43:41,076 --> 00:43:42,181
Oh, my God! Mom!

908
00:43:44,100 --> 00:43:46,133
OK, OK, OK.
You don't have to make a big deal.

909
00:43:46,164 --> 00:43:49,147
Don't jump to conclusions.
You don't know what's happening here.

910
00:43:49,178 --> 00:43:53,182
Really? It looks like my mother is doing
the walk of shame out of a frat house.

911
00:43:55,007 --> 00:43:58,166
OK, I guess technically that's...
what's happening. Let's just go.

912
00:43:58,197 --> 00:44:00,178
Let's get out of here. Oh, my God!

913
00:44:01,159 --> 00:44:03,202
I don't think you've gotta rub it in. Oh!

914
00:44:03,234 --> 00:44:06,018
Fella, close your robe.

915
00:44:06,049 --> 00:44:08,041
Can we please just get out of here?

916
00:44:08,072 --> 00:44:09,432
Aren't they gonna serve breakfast?

917
00:44:10,022 --> 00:44:12,422
No, they're not gonna serve breakfast.
This isn't the Hilton.

918
00:44:13,025 --> 00:44:16,059
I knew that. But I thought maybe
they'll have a bagel spread or something.

919
00:44:16,090 --> 00:44:17,155
MADDIE:
My God!

920
00:44:18,019 --> 00:44:21,200
Oh, my God!
My foot keeps charley horsing.

921
00:44:21,232 --> 00:44:24,110
I'm telling you,
I can't even get my boots back on.

922
00:44:24,141 --> 00:44:27,227
I guess that's what I get
for getting my toes curled last night.

923
00:44:27,259 --> 00:44:29,229
And I mean cu-urled.

924
00:44:29,261 --> 00:44:31,127
Mom, please stop!

925
00:44:31,158 --> 00:44:35,267
I think it was mutually enjoyable...
for both parties.

926
00:44:36,049 --> 00:44:37,258
I mean, I had fun.

927
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:41,137
He enjoyed himself.
He kept yelling, "Please, more!"

928
00:44:41,168 --> 00:44:44,276
I thought he was doing a scene
from Oliver! "Please, more."

929
00:44:45,058 --> 00:44:47,143
I heard that through the wall

930
00:44:47,174 --> 00:44:49,209
and I thought he was
saying, "Cheese store."

931
00:44:49,240 --> 00:44:51,126
And I was very confused.

932
00:44:51,159 --> 00:44:54,151
One time we were playing
kind of a cheesemonger

933
00:44:54,182 --> 00:44:56,122
and I was a poor peasant girl but...

934
00:44:56,153 --> 00:44:57,290
That's disgusting, Mom.

935
00:44:58,072 --> 00:45:00,115
- No! It was fun.
- Mom!

936
00:45:00,147 --> 00:45:01,158
And I love cheese.

937
00:45:01,189 --> 00:45:03,108
I love you so much.

938
00:45:03,139 --> 00:45:06,226
Have I asked you once about any of this?
No. You just keep blabbing.

939
00:45:06,257 --> 00:45:10,084
I'm asking you to please be quiet
and stop talking.

940
00:45:10,115 --> 00:45:13,201
OK. I think we should keep
communication lines open.

941
00:45:14,067 --> 00:45:16,152
You know what? I'm older, I'm wiser.
I...

942
00:45:16,309 --> 00:45:19,155
This, essentially a Google.

943
00:45:20,125 --> 00:45:23,159
Right down here, where you came from.

944
00:45:23,191 --> 00:45:25,151
I'm like the Google of vaginas.

945
00:45:25,182 --> 00:45:27,237
(in robotic voice):
"Ask me anything, please."

946
00:45:27,268 --> 00:45:29,082
Turn off your vagoogle.

947
00:45:29,114 --> 00:45:31,106
- It can't be turned off.
- OK, I don't like it.

948
00:45:31,137 --> 00:45:34,328
You're scaring me...
and you're scaring everyone around you.

949
00:45:35,110 --> 00:45:38,248
I think... I think my vagoogle
scared Jack last night.

950
00:45:38,279 --> 00:45:40,313
- Oh, my God!
- But in a good way.

951
00:45:41,095 --> 00:45:43,274
Like when you intentionally
go through a haunted house.

952
00:45:43,305 --> 00:45:45,182
Eww!

953
00:45:45,214 --> 00:45:46,298
Not saying...

954
00:45:47,226 --> 00:45:48,342
You know what I mean.

955
00:45:49,124 --> 00:45:51,272
Please, I just don't wanna
talk about your vagoogle.

956
00:45:58,332 --> 00:46:03,159
All right.
I've got a little pop quiz for you here.

957
00:46:03,191 --> 00:46:06,350
But don't worry, I promise to grade it
pharaoh and squaraoh.

958
00:46:07,132 --> 00:46:09,134
(Deanna chuckles)

959
00:46:11,209 --> 00:46:16,339
Hey, I've got to tell you,
your work so far is impeccable.

960
00:46:16,371 --> 00:46:18,373
This department is lucky to have you back.

961
00:46:19,155 --> 00:46:23,221
Oh, my gosh. Wayne, thank you so much.
You know, it's still my passion.

962
00:46:23,253 --> 00:46:26,193
I guess once a dighead,
always a dighead, huh?

963
00:46:26,224 --> 00:46:29,175
- Yes, you certainly are.
- Guess that makes me a dighead, too.

964
00:46:29,206 --> 00:46:32,168
OK, my advice to you
is to crack a book, all right?

965
00:46:32,199 --> 00:46:35,317
You are failing this class
in spectacular fashion.

966
00:46:38,269 --> 00:46:40,364
And I would love to see you
on a dig one day.

967
00:46:40,396 --> 00:46:44,170
That makes two of us
wanting to see me on a dig.

968
00:46:44,202 --> 00:46:46,360
That's...
Thank you. It's a lovely sediment.

969
00:46:46,391 --> 00:46:48,331
(both chuckle)

970
00:46:48,362 --> 00:46:51,229
No. I did not. I did it, though.

971
00:46:51,261 --> 00:46:52,387
(laughs)

972
00:46:53,169 --> 00:46:55,265
You're gonna make me become
Stone-unhinged.

973
00:46:55,296 --> 00:46:58,330
(both laugh)

974
00:46:59,258 --> 00:47:01,281
No, you get out!

975
00:47:01,312 --> 00:47:04,357
Anyway, I can't wait to see
your mid-term presentation.

976
00:47:04,388 --> 00:47:06,338
I'm pretty excited for you to read it.

977
00:47:06,369 --> 00:47:09,206
No, no. It's an oral presentation.

978
00:47:09,237 --> 00:47:11,208
It's a... What is it?

979
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:14,399
Instead of with your hands, you present
your work with your mouth and tongue.

980
00:47:16,224 --> 00:47:18,257
OK. You're gonna be great.

981
00:47:18,289 --> 00:47:20,228
Just keep up the good work. OK.

982
00:47:24,263 --> 00:47:25,327
What's the matter?

983
00:47:25,358 --> 00:47:29,331
I'm just not fond of speaking in public.

984
00:47:30,228 --> 00:47:35,254
OK, let's get started on those quizzes.
You have 15 minutes, so do not dally.

985
00:47:42,281 --> 00:47:43,366
Dee Dee.

986
00:47:43,397 --> 00:47:46,317
- Hey, Jack.
- Hey! I um...

987
00:47:46,348 --> 00:47:51,228
I saw Maddie and she said that
you were gonna be in here studying.

988
00:47:51,260 --> 00:47:52,438
So, I got you a coffee.

989
00:47:52,470 --> 00:47:55,306
Thank you, Jack. That's so nice of you.

990
00:47:55,337 --> 00:47:57,297
I couldn't find any Chardonnay, so...

991
00:47:57,329 --> 00:47:59,435
(laughs) It's probably for the best.

992
00:48:00,446 --> 00:48:03,470
Hey, have you, uh...
been getting my texts?

993
00:48:04,409 --> 00:48:06,275
Oh, um...

994
00:48:06,306 --> 00:48:07,443
You know what? I usually...

995
00:48:07,474 --> 00:48:10,425
I turn off my little chimey alert.

996
00:48:10,456 --> 00:48:14,356
Yeah. You gotta be quiet in the library,
right? (chuckles)

997
00:48:14,387 --> 00:48:15,461
Oh.

998
00:48:16,389 --> 00:48:18,277
Wow, that's...

999
00:48:18,391 --> 00:48:20,341
That's a lot of texts, Jack.

1000
00:48:20,373 --> 00:48:23,334
- Now that I'm here...
- Yeah.

1001
00:48:23,365 --> 00:48:25,305
Yeah, I can just tell you.

1002
00:48:26,359 --> 00:48:28,298
I um...

1003
00:48:28,329 --> 00:48:30,425
I kind of can't stop thinking about you.

1004
00:48:32,333 --> 00:48:33,459
Jack, that is so sweet.

1005
00:48:34,367 --> 00:48:36,431
You wanna know
what I can't stop thinking about?

1006
00:48:36,462 --> 00:48:39,434
Us. Me and you, we leave this school.

1007
00:48:39,465 --> 00:48:42,448
We can go backpacking across Europe.

1008
00:48:42,479 --> 00:48:44,408
Me and you - Eat Pray Love style.

1009
00:48:44,439 --> 00:48:48,516
I-I can...
I can bartend, we'll make it work...

1010
00:48:49,298 --> 00:48:50,351
Jack.

1011
00:48:51,300 --> 00:48:54,293
Years ago,
somebody asking me to do that with them

1012
00:48:54,324 --> 00:48:56,410
would have been an absolute dream.

1013
00:48:56,441 --> 00:48:59,528
But I can't travel with a backpack
any more.

1014
00:49:00,529 --> 00:49:03,313
I need luggage with wheels.

1015
00:49:03,345 --> 00:49:04,408
I mean, I...

1016
00:49:04,439 --> 00:49:06,525
Even my carry-on has wheels, Jack.

1017
00:49:07,494 --> 00:49:10,445
My hips can't really sustain a backpack.

1018
00:49:10,477 --> 00:49:13,490
They're never the same after a childbirth,
you know, but...

1019
00:49:14,345 --> 00:49:17,338
But it's such a wonderful offer

1020
00:49:17,369 --> 00:49:19,381
and you're such a terrific guy but...

1021
00:49:20,435 --> 00:49:22,468
I think what we had the other night

1022
00:49:22,499 --> 00:49:26,534
was really kind of
a one-time special thing.

1023
00:49:35,513 --> 00:49:37,463
Uh-oh! (laughs)

1024
00:49:38,454 --> 00:49:39,444
(Deanna laughs)

1025
00:49:39,475 --> 00:49:42,395
JACK: That was amazing!
DEANNA: That was so nice.

1026
00:49:43,427 --> 00:49:44,564
Oh, my God!

1027
00:49:46,409 --> 00:49:47,567
Oh, my God!

1028
00:49:48,349 --> 00:49:49,475
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God.

1029
00:49:49,506 --> 00:49:51,508
You are my sexual Dumbledore.

1030
00:49:51,539 --> 00:49:53,541
- I mean...
- What does that mean?

1031
00:49:53,573 --> 00:49:56,430
Dumbledore, he's from Harry Potter.

1032
00:49:56,461 --> 00:49:59,475
You know, Harry Potter's, like, mentor...

1033
00:49:59,506 --> 00:50:01,591
he's got the beard, and he's got the hat.

1034
00:50:02,373 --> 00:50:05,397
- Dumbledore.
- I'm gonna stop you right there.

1035
00:50:07,503 --> 00:50:09,464
Um... this is just...

1036
00:50:09,495 --> 00:50:11,488
This will ride you through life.

1037
00:50:11,519 --> 00:50:15,554
I don't think ever there's a woman
that's gonna want you to say

1038
00:50:15,585 --> 00:50:17,546
that during a sexual encounter

1039
00:50:17,577 --> 00:50:22,384
you're thinking of her
as an old, grey, grizzled wizard.

1040
00:50:22,415 --> 00:50:23,541
Aww!

1041
00:50:23,572 --> 00:50:25,460
- Yeah.
- Aww! Um...

1042
00:50:25,491 --> 00:50:28,525
- OK. I'm sorry.
- So good up until...

1043
00:50:28,557 --> 00:50:31,580
until you called me
an old, grey, male wizard.

1044
00:50:31,612 --> 00:50:33,447
Wizard talk's gone.

1045
00:50:33,478 --> 00:50:35,407
- Well...
- All right.

1046
00:50:35,637 --> 00:50:37,607
OK, well, um...

1047
00:50:38,577 --> 00:50:40,642
- I'd better...
- See you later?

1048
00:50:41,424 --> 00:50:43,635
No, no, no.
That was the last...

1049
00:50:44,416 --> 00:50:46,429
That was the last time...

1050
00:50:46,460 --> 00:50:48,515
- You said that earlier.
- I know.

1051
00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:53,551
I know, but your wrist got involved
and I got distracted, so...

1052
00:50:54,563 --> 00:50:56,429
Last time. OK.

1053
00:50:57,503 --> 00:50:59,578
OK, that's it. And we're done.

1054
00:50:59,609 --> 00:51:01,611
It's a clean... clean break.

1055
00:51:02,633 --> 00:51:04,646
You know what? Just a finale.

1056
00:51:08,577 --> 00:51:10,485
OK. I'll text you.

1057
00:51:12,612 --> 00:51:14,604
OK, I'll miss that. I'll miss that.

1058
00:51:14,635 --> 00:51:17,555
OK. You go that way. I'll go this way.

1059
00:51:18,545 --> 00:51:19,662
Damn it, man.

1060
00:51:22,581 --> 00:51:24,457
Oh, my God!

1061
00:51:24,490 --> 00:51:25,501
Ohh!

1062
00:51:25,532 --> 00:51:26,575
Come on, come on, come on.

1063
00:51:26,606 --> 00:51:27,670
- (phone rings)
- Hello?

1064
00:51:28,452 --> 00:51:29,547
<i>What are you doing?</i>

1065
00:51:29,578 --> 00:51:32,539
I think my forks have oxidised.

1066
00:51:32,571 --> 00:51:34,531
I'm just... I'm trying to get it off.

1067
00:51:34,562 --> 00:51:36,644
<i>- What are you doing?</i>
- I just had sex in the library.

1068
00:51:36,668 --> 00:51:39,505
- What?
<i>- I just had sex in the library.</i>

1069
00:51:39,536 --> 00:51:40,620
You had what?

1070
00:51:41,475 --> 00:51:43,467
I... I just had sex in the library.

1071
00:51:43,498 --> 00:51:46,491
You had sex in a library?

1072
00:51:46,522 --> 00:51:47,666
<i>- Frank!</i>
- No, don't tell Frank.

1073
00:51:47,690 --> 00:51:50,682
- Deanna just had sex in a public place.
- What? Where?

1074
00:51:50,714 --> 00:51:53,623
- In the stacks!
- In her slacks?

1075
00:51:53,654 --> 00:51:55,774
- No. Shut up, Frank.
<i>- (text alert on Deanna's phone)</i>

1076
00:51:56,501 --> 00:51:57,711
Hang on for one second.

1077
00:52:01,538 --> 00:52:03,675
You know what? I have to go.
I'll call you later.

1078
00:52:05,709 --> 00:52:07,648
Can you believe this, Frank?

1079
00:52:07,679 --> 00:52:09,588
Good for Deanna.

1080
00:52:10,547 --> 00:52:11,673
Oh, Frank?

1081
00:52:11,704 --> 00:52:13,560
Hm?

1082
00:52:15,615 --> 00:52:17,721
Why don't we ever have sex in public?

1083
00:52:18,618 --> 00:52:20,724
Because, honey,
last time you blew your knee out

1084
00:52:21,506 --> 00:52:23,675
and I had to carry you out of Six Flags.

1085
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:26,553
Oh...

1086
00:52:27,533 --> 00:52:29,566
But I do like those fuzzy socks.

1087
00:52:29,597 --> 00:52:31,610
Oh, Frank. (chuckles)

1088
00:52:33,601 --> 00:52:35,708
Thanks for coming, Mom.
Debbie's really freaking out.

1089
00:52:35,739 --> 00:52:38,680
It sounded serious.
I'm gonna make my lasagne.

1090
00:52:40,744 --> 00:52:41,850
OK...

1091
00:52:42,767 --> 00:52:44,634
Hey, Debbie.

1092
00:52:44,665 --> 00:52:47,647
Do you think you're ready to maybe
start talking about it now?

1093
00:52:47,678 --> 00:52:49,758
She went to a job fair
and now she's all freaked out.

1094
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:53,643
I thought fairs were supposed to be fun.
This one wasn't fun at all.

1095
00:52:53,674 --> 00:52:55,864
I don't even know
what I really wanna do with my life.

1096
00:52:56,646 --> 00:52:58,846
- Why did I study kinesiology?
- That's uh...

1097
00:52:59,628 --> 00:53:01,860
I mean, that's basically
like physical therapy, right?

1098
00:53:02,641 --> 00:53:03,800
Kind of, but not as useful.

1099
00:53:03,831 --> 00:53:05,875
It's the theoretical study
of human movement.

1100
00:53:06,792 --> 00:53:08,721
OK. Wow.

1101
00:53:08,753 --> 00:53:12,704
I can see that does feel slightly limited

1102
00:53:12,736 --> 00:53:15,770
in employment opportunities.

1103
00:53:16,667 --> 00:53:20,754
I took out $45,000 in student loans
and what am I ready for? Nothing.

1104
00:53:20,785 --> 00:53:24,675
OK, come on. You can't make
such a big deal out of everything.

1105
00:53:24,706 --> 00:53:26,791
Ladies, you gotta have a little faith
in yourselves.

1106
00:53:26,823 --> 00:53:31,776
I spent 20 years just giving it all away.
I worried about what other people thought.

1107
00:53:31,807 --> 00:53:34,758
I worried about what they thought
I should be doing. Never what I thought.

1108
00:53:34,789 --> 00:53:37,677
Look at me now.
I'm living in a dorm with a roommate

1109
00:53:37,709 --> 00:53:39,679
that I'm pretty sure watches me
while I sleep.

1110
00:53:39,711 --> 00:53:41,880
I got the clothes on my back.
I got nothing.

1111
00:53:41,912 --> 00:53:44,748
The last 20 years of my life
have been a real shit show.

1112
00:53:44,779 --> 00:53:45,853
Thank you.

1113
00:53:46,750 --> 00:53:48,710
Not meaning you... I mean...

1114
00:53:48,741 --> 00:53:50,754
You know... You know what I mean.
I just...

1115
00:53:50,785 --> 00:53:51,869
Give me those fingers.

1116
00:53:51,901 --> 00:53:55,696
Every single little thing about you
is a dream.

1117
00:53:55,728 --> 00:53:56,861
I wouldn't change any of that.

1118
00:53:56,885 --> 00:53:59,825
The rest, I would like to
rewind that clock

1119
00:53:59,857 --> 00:54:03,892
and 20 years ago start speaking up
for myself, so that's my point.

1120
00:54:03,923 --> 00:54:06,739
You gals are terrific.
You're not quitters.

1121
00:54:06,770 --> 00:54:08,831
I'm afraid I'm never gonna be
in a real relationship.

1122
00:54:08,855 --> 00:54:10,743
Amanda! Come on!

1123
00:54:10,774 --> 00:54:12,880
- Come on!
- I'm so sorry.

1124
00:54:12,911 --> 00:54:16,948
Honey, if you can't use what the good Lord
made you and make that work,

1125
00:54:17,729 --> 00:54:19,846
then what the hell hope do any of us have?

1126
00:54:19,878 --> 00:54:22,881
- None.
- You're all amazing. I mean, look at you.

1127
00:54:22,912 --> 00:54:26,728
You're all lovely here
and you're smart and you're wonderful

1128
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:28,960
and you're weird, in the best, best way.

1129
00:54:29,742 --> 00:54:30,917
I just... I mean, if you look...

1130
00:54:30,941 --> 00:54:32,922
My God! Look at Carol's legs.

1131
00:54:32,953 --> 00:54:34,778
Legs for days.

1132
00:54:34,809 --> 00:54:35,890
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

1133
00:54:35,914 --> 00:54:37,896
Just enjoy 'em, for God's sakes.

1134
00:54:37,927 --> 00:54:41,733
Just... We all have to realise
everybody's great, right?

1135
00:54:41,764 --> 00:54:42,963
And this is good. OK?

1136
00:54:43,745 --> 00:54:45,859
And this is good, and this is good,
and these are good.

1137
00:54:45,883 --> 00:54:48,792
- And this is... My God!
- Mom, do not touch Amanda's butt!

1138
00:54:48,823 --> 00:54:50,223
You know what it makes me think of?

1139
00:54:50,857 --> 00:54:52,901
It's like a three-day-old loaf of bread.

1140
00:54:52,932 --> 00:54:55,863
It's firmer, but it's kept
its original shape.

1141
00:54:55,894 --> 00:54:58,949
Now, I... I think I've just been
looser structurally.

1142
00:54:58,980 --> 00:55:02,765
Oh, you know, I could explain to you
the differences in your bodies.

1143
00:55:02,797 --> 00:55:03,972
But only as it pertains to movement.

1144
00:55:03,996 --> 00:55:07,781
Look what's happening right now.
Look what's happening right...

1145
00:55:07,812 --> 00:55:08,966
- You're using your degree.
- (text alert)

1146
00:55:08,990 --> 00:55:11,826
- You're doing it!
- I am.

1147
00:55:11,858 --> 00:55:14,934
You guys, there's a party tonight
at Deltas and it's '80s themed.

1148
00:55:14,965 --> 00:55:17,895
So, ladies, time to crush a party.

1149
00:55:17,926 --> 00:55:19,991
Oh, I brought my dress-up trunk.

1150
00:55:20,773 --> 00:55:22,879
♪ CYNDI LAUPER:
Girls Just Want To Have Fun

1151
00:55:28,865 --> 00:55:31,795
<i>♪ I come home in the morning light</i>

1152
00:55:31,827 --> 00:55:35,976
<i>♪ My mother says when you gonna
live your life right?</i>

1153
00:55:36,811 --> 00:55:39,835
<i>♪ Oh, mother dear...</i>
I told you we should have done Dynasty.

1154
00:55:39,866 --> 00:55:41,982
Why do they all look so good?

1155
00:55:42,014 --> 00:55:44,840
- Welcome to the '80s!
- Thank you.

1156
00:55:44,871 --> 00:55:46,831
Hey! Theta Gammas!

1157
00:55:46,862 --> 00:55:49,990
Hi, there! Oh, well,
I'm not officially a member.

1158
00:55:50,022 --> 00:55:52,024
I'm a little too young to join a sorority.

1159
00:55:52,806 --> 00:55:53,984
(laughs)

1160
00:55:54,015 --> 00:55:55,944
- No!
- (chuckles)

1161
00:55:56,820 --> 00:55:58,019
- Don't drink that.
- Oh.

1162
00:55:58,051 --> 00:56:01,044
This is a 2017 Italian Chardonnay.

1163
00:56:01,825 --> 00:56:03,912
- Jack...
- Yeah, it's truly one of a kind.

1164
00:56:03,943 --> 00:56:05,882
Very oaky, very buttery.

1165
00:56:05,914 --> 00:56:07,999
Because it was a hot and dry fall
this year in Italy.

1166
00:56:08,030 --> 00:56:11,012
So, the grapes are very, very succulent.

1167
00:56:11,044 --> 00:56:14,944
Well, far be from me
to turn down a succulent grape.

1168
00:56:14,975 --> 00:56:17,884
You're being really weird
with the grape descriptions.

1169
00:56:17,915 --> 00:56:20,011
It's lovely. It really is.

1170
00:56:20,042 --> 00:56:21,846
Hey, Grandma.

1171
00:56:22,847 --> 00:56:25,934
Hey, Jack, could you help me
track down a drink?

1172
00:56:27,018 --> 00:56:29,854
OK, Jennifer, there's a keg out back.

1173
00:56:29,886 --> 00:56:31,877
There's also boxed wine.

1174
00:56:32,033 --> 00:56:35,005
You know what? I think we're gonna go
take a little spin around,

1175
00:56:35,036 --> 00:56:36,976
try to figure out who shot JR.

1176
00:56:38,009 --> 00:56:39,083
Someone was shot?

1177
00:56:39,864 --> 00:56:42,858
No. No! God, no, it's from Dallas.

1178
00:56:42,889 --> 00:56:44,036
It's a television programme.

1179
00:56:44,067 --> 00:56:46,862
OK, I'll explain it.

1180
00:56:47,998 --> 00:56:51,898
Hey, if there's anything else
I can get for you...

1181
00:56:51,929 --> 00:56:53,911
Seriously, anything. More wine...

1182
00:56:53,942 --> 00:56:56,976
Anything, honestly,
just, just... just let me know.

1183
00:56:57,007 --> 00:56:58,060
OK, thanks, Jack.

1184
00:56:59,927 --> 00:57:02,033
I love what's left of your top.

1185
00:57:02,961 --> 00:57:04,077
Ha!

1186
00:57:06,068 --> 00:57:07,935
So, what's your deal, man?

1187
00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:09,958
I don't know.

1188
00:57:10,083 --> 00:57:13,003
She makes me so nervous. Can you tell?

1189
00:57:13,951 --> 00:57:15,058
Yeah.

1190
00:57:18,926 --> 00:57:21,137
♪ BILLY OCEAN:
Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car

1191
00:57:23,066 --> 00:57:24,140
<i>♪ Get into my...</i>

1192
00:57:24,922 --> 00:57:26,945
(scratching)

1193
00:57:28,019 --> 00:57:29,124
I know this one.

1194
00:57:29,906 --> 00:57:31,074
- No, Mom.
- I know this one.

1195
00:57:31,105 --> 00:57:33,096
- Uh-oh.
- Get it!

1196
00:57:33,128 --> 00:57:36,006
♪ THE SUGARHILL GANG:
Apache

1197
00:57:43,159 --> 00:57:45,088
- Your mom can dance?
- I guess so.

1198
00:57:45,995 --> 00:57:49,926
<i>♪ Tonto, jump on it,
jump on it, jump on it</i>

1199
00:57:54,004 --> 00:57:57,987
<i>♪ Kemosabe, jump on it,
jump on it, jump on it</i>

1200
00:57:58,018 --> 00:57:59,134
Whoo!

1201
00:58:02,982 --> 00:58:06,141
<i>♪ Custer, jump on it,
jump on it, jump on it</i>

1202
00:58:11,073 --> 00:58:14,024
<i>♪ Apache, jump on it, jump on it</i>

1203
00:58:14,055 --> 00:58:16,057
(cheering)

1204
00:58:17,079 --> 00:58:18,195
<i>♪ A-hunga-hunga-hunga-hunga</i>

1205
00:58:18,977 --> 00:58:20,051
It's a car!

1206
00:58:20,082 --> 00:58:23,002
Yeah, I can see that. Yes, Mom!

1207
00:58:23,033 --> 00:58:24,118
What a woman!

1208
00:58:24,149 --> 00:58:27,080
- You're doing so well!
- I'm so hot.

1209
00:58:27,111 --> 00:58:29,019
You know so many moves!

1210
00:58:29,186 --> 00:58:31,177
Get back in there. Go get her!

1211
00:58:32,043 --> 00:58:33,179
<i>♪ Jump on it</i>

1212
00:58:35,025 --> 00:58:36,161
- Oh!
- Boo!

1213
00:58:36,193 --> 00:58:37,986
I got hair hit.

1214
00:58:38,059 --> 00:58:40,030
<i>♪ Jump on it, jump on it</i>

1215
00:58:43,221 --> 00:58:45,994
(cheering)

1216
00:58:47,204 --> 00:58:49,081
- I'm good!
- (cheering)

1217
00:58:54,117 --> 00:58:55,222
I'm so happy you're here.

1218
00:58:56,004 --> 00:58:57,141
I am too, honey!

1219
00:58:59,185 --> 00:59:00,999
OK.

1220
00:59:05,066 --> 00:59:08,069
Hi! You need some friends
and some vitamin D.

1221
00:59:08,101 --> 00:59:10,207
OK, pal. Sunscreen's on my desk.

1222
00:59:12,063 --> 00:59:14,190
Thank you, best friend.

1223
00:59:15,201 --> 00:59:16,244
Come on, girls!

1224
00:59:17,131 --> 00:59:19,039
This is our moment!

1225
00:59:21,062 --> 00:59:22,198
Oh!

1226
00:59:22,229 --> 00:59:24,075
- Hi, Deanna!
- Hi, guys!

1227
00:59:24,106 --> 00:59:26,171
Rebecca, I'll see you in lab.

1228
00:59:26,202 --> 00:59:28,089
- There she is.
- Hey!

1229
00:59:28,256 --> 00:59:30,196
Whoo!

1230
00:59:30,227 --> 00:59:32,093
No legs!

1231
00:59:40,165 --> 00:59:42,157
(cheering)

1232
00:59:42,188 --> 00:59:44,044
Yes!

1233
00:59:47,109 --> 00:59:48,235
Hey, Dee!

1234
00:59:49,257 --> 00:59:51,134
Have a good day.

1235
00:59:52,052 --> 00:59:54,075
Bye, Jack. (giggles)

1236
01:00:02,187 --> 01:00:04,064
Ssh. Be careful.

1237
01:00:04,095 --> 01:00:05,215
I can't see out of my holes!

1238
01:00:05,242 --> 01:00:07,202
Guys, why did I have to do this?

1239
01:00:07,234 --> 01:00:09,246
Just hold her up,
so we can get her head in there.

1240
01:00:09,278 --> 01:00:11,312
(shrieks)

1241
01:00:12,093 --> 01:00:14,283
- Oh, my God!
- Aw, kidnapping?

1242
01:00:14,315 --> 01:00:16,244
- No! Leonor!
- Come on.

1243
01:00:16,275 --> 01:00:17,318
No!

1244
01:00:20,206 --> 01:00:21,259
Hello?

1245
01:00:22,177 --> 01:00:24,200
Is there... Oh.

1246
01:00:26,108 --> 01:00:29,100
(distorted voice): <i>Deanna Miles,
welcome to your trial by fire.</i>

1247
01:00:29,257 --> 01:00:33,094
What is that device
that's making your voice so strange?

1248
01:00:33,125 --> 01:00:34,230
<i>It's a voice modulator!</i>

1249
01:00:34,262 --> 01:00:36,159
<i>Everybody, take off your masks.</i>

1250
01:00:38,318 --> 01:00:41,164
Oh, my face got so hot under there.

1251
01:00:41,196 --> 01:00:44,147
Oh, God, Debbie,
what's wrong with your face?

1252
01:00:44,178 --> 01:00:45,336
Oh, I'm allergic to latex.

1253
01:00:46,117 --> 01:00:47,517
Then why would you put the mask on?

1254
01:00:48,119 --> 01:00:50,289
- I just wanted to be a team player.
- Oh...

1255
01:00:51,175 --> 01:00:56,118
Deanna Miles, are you ready to become
an honorary member of Theta Mu Gamma?

1256
01:00:57,348 --> 01:01:00,268
Really? Is that what this is about?

1257
01:01:00,299 --> 01:01:02,249
Wow, ladies! I mean, as long as it's...

1258
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:04,209
Is that OK with Maddie?

1259
01:01:04,241 --> 01:01:06,201
(whispers): It was my idea, Mom.

1260
01:01:08,172 --> 01:01:10,257
Maddie Miles, please untie your mother.

1261
01:01:11,133 --> 01:01:13,197
Am I supposed to act scared
or anything or can I...

1262
01:01:13,229 --> 01:01:14,261
- No.
- OK.

1263
01:01:14,292 --> 01:01:15,335
- Just be yourself.
- OK.

1264
01:01:15,366 --> 01:01:17,201
Thank you, honey.

1265
01:01:18,307 --> 01:01:21,268
Linda, please bring forth the candle.

1266
01:01:21,300 --> 01:01:23,145
Where's Linda?

1267
01:01:23,176 --> 01:01:24,241
Oh.

1268
01:01:24,272 --> 01:01:27,212
- Welcome.
- Thank you, Linda.

1269
01:01:27,244 --> 01:01:31,321
Now you will be presented
with the sacred paddle.

1270
01:01:31,352 --> 01:01:34,209
Welcome, Dee Rock.

1271
01:01:35,210 --> 01:01:36,375
Carol, oh, my... your brushwork

1272
01:01:36,399 --> 01:01:39,204
is absolutely lovely.

1273
01:01:39,235 --> 01:01:41,310
They're actually just stickers, but...

1274
01:01:41,341 --> 01:01:45,303
Maddie, please spank your mother
with the ceremonial paddle.

1275
01:01:46,179 --> 01:01:48,390
No, I'm not... I'm not paddling my mother.

1276
01:01:49,172 --> 01:01:50,256
Oh, come on, Maddie.

1277
01:01:50,288 --> 01:01:51,320
Maddie, team player!

1278
01:01:51,351 --> 01:01:55,334
You know what? I have to ask.
Has everybody else been paddled?

1279
01:01:55,365 --> 01:01:58,191
Because I don't wanna be
the stick in the mud.

1280
01:01:58,223 --> 01:02:01,289
Should I crouch? I'm assuming
I should take a crouched position.

1281
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:02,405
I crouched.

1282
01:02:03,187 --> 01:02:05,373
I want the full Greek experience
because I've always wondered...

1283
01:02:05,397 --> 01:02:07,389
(yells): Ow! Ow!

1284
01:02:07,420 --> 01:02:10,204
(groans)

1285
01:02:10,236 --> 01:02:11,351
God, that hit bone!

1286
01:02:11,382 --> 01:02:12,425
- Mom.
- Maddie!

1287
01:02:13,207 --> 01:02:14,427
- I'm sorry.
- (groans)

1288
01:02:15,209 --> 01:02:16,283
- Mom.
- (groans)

1289
01:02:16,315 --> 01:02:17,441
Is someone still hitting me?

1290
01:02:18,223 --> 01:02:21,205
- I'm not touching you!
- Ohh, I feel it! (groans)

1291
01:02:21,236 --> 01:02:24,323
They're like phantom pains
except they're real!

1292
01:02:24,354 --> 01:02:25,396
(yells)

1293
01:02:25,428 --> 01:02:27,305
Get off of me!

1294
01:02:28,347 --> 01:02:30,214
Oh, God.

1295
01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:32,351
I thought I was gonna vomit.

1296
01:02:33,353 --> 01:02:34,375
No.

1297
01:02:34,406 --> 01:02:36,315
I'm sorry...

1298
01:02:36,346 --> 01:02:39,255
if I may have raised my voice.

1299
01:02:39,286 --> 01:02:41,431
- Are you OK, Dee Rock?
- It's like when you stub a toe.

1300
01:02:41,455 --> 01:02:44,302
You just... You skyrocket

1301
01:02:44,333 --> 01:02:48,420
and then 30 seconds later,
you didn't lose the toe,

1302
01:02:48,452 --> 01:02:51,246
which you swore 30 seconds earlier...

1303
01:02:51,278 --> 01:02:52,383
"I'm gonna lose the toe."

1304
01:02:52,414 --> 01:02:55,469
Right? We've all been at that bedpost.
(chuckles)

1305
01:02:56,251 --> 01:02:58,295
- Are you ready to continue?
- I'd love to.

1306
01:02:58,326 --> 01:02:59,348
All right.

1307
01:02:59,379 --> 01:03:03,415
By the power vested in me by
this great state and educational facility,

1308
01:03:03,446 --> 01:03:07,367
I declare you a member of Theta Mu Gamma.

1309
01:03:07,398 --> 01:03:09,422
(cheering)

1310
01:03:11,476 --> 01:03:13,321
Oh, my gosh!

1311
01:03:13,353 --> 01:03:17,492
I just wanna say, I mean, pound sign,
hashtag gratitude.

1312
01:03:18,274 --> 01:03:19,307
Right here.

1313
01:03:19,338 --> 01:03:21,402
- (chuckles)
<i>- And there's cake upstairs!</i>

1314
01:03:21,434 --> 01:03:23,384
(cheering)

1315
01:03:23,415 --> 01:03:24,468
Cake!

1316
01:03:26,512 --> 01:03:28,378
She's allergic. She...

1317
01:03:28,409 --> 01:03:29,504
Honey, you're allergic.

1318
01:03:30,286 --> 01:03:31,392
Not tonight!

1319
01:03:36,438 --> 01:03:37,512
All right.

1320
01:03:38,294 --> 01:03:40,286
Exciting day. Hello to you, class.

1321
01:03:40,317 --> 01:03:43,498
I am very much looking forward
to discovering the treasure

1322
01:03:43,530 --> 01:03:45,417
of your mid-term presentations.

1323
01:03:46,533 --> 01:03:49,306
- You're not gonna laugh at that?
- It's funny.

1324
01:03:49,338 --> 01:03:51,475
I'm just... I'm too nervous
about this presentation.

1325
01:03:51,506 --> 01:03:53,373
- I can't.
- OK, tell you what.

1326
01:03:53,404 --> 01:03:56,397
Why don't we start off with...
No offence to the rest of you!

1327
01:03:56,428 --> 01:03:58,347
..my favourite student?

1328
01:03:58,378 --> 01:03:59,449
Oh, God. I gotta get some air.

1329
01:03:59,473 --> 01:04:02,486
Oh, don't worry about it.
It's me. I'm clearly his favourite.

1330
01:04:02,517 --> 01:04:03,550
Excuse me. Sorry.

1331
01:04:04,332 --> 01:04:07,397
Deanna Miles,
would you get us started, please?

1332
01:04:09,368 --> 01:04:10,484
Oh, God!

1333
01:04:12,329 --> 01:04:13,445
I'm um...

1334
01:04:16,385 --> 01:04:17,533
- You wanna...
- No.

1335
01:04:19,525 --> 01:04:22,559
- I know you're gonna knock our socks off.
- Thank you.

1336
01:04:23,340 --> 01:04:25,500
Deanna Miles is gonna start us off,
everybody. Lights.

1337
01:04:26,501 --> 01:04:28,357
Ohh!

1338
01:04:28,388 --> 01:04:30,348
Oh, I didn't expect that.

1339
01:04:31,443 --> 01:04:32,548
Hello.

1340
01:04:34,457 --> 01:04:35,541
Oh, God.

1341
01:04:35,572 --> 01:04:37,418
Sorry.

1342
01:04:44,571 --> 01:04:47,386
I didn't... Is it a crank?

1343
01:04:47,417 --> 01:04:48,491
It's a crank.

1344
01:04:48,523 --> 01:04:50,525
I'm sorry, I just need to...

1345
01:04:52,412 --> 01:04:53,528
We are gonna...

1346
01:04:54,582 --> 01:04:57,438
I'm here to... Oh, God!

1347
01:04:57,470 --> 01:04:58,513
I'm sorry.

1348
01:04:59,503 --> 01:05:00,556
I'm so sorry.

1349
01:05:00,588 --> 01:05:05,593
Is it part of the core curriculum
that I must use the podium?

1350
01:05:06,375 --> 01:05:07,519
Of course not. No, not at all.

1351
01:05:07,543 --> 01:05:12,527
OK. I'm going to opt
to not use that.

1352
01:05:12,558 --> 01:05:14,581
(clears her throat nervously)

1353
01:05:16,458 --> 01:05:18,397
She's totally pitting out.

1354
01:05:18,429 --> 01:05:19,586
She's gonna be fine.

1355
01:05:23,538 --> 01:05:24,612
(echoes): I'm here...

1356
01:05:25,394 --> 01:05:26,530
Too loud, too loud.

1357
01:05:26,562 --> 01:05:28,553
I'm here to discuss...

1358
01:05:28,584 --> 01:05:33,412
not an exciting find
but rather an exciting truth.

1359
01:05:34,560 --> 01:05:37,501
The tomb of Attila the Hun,

1360
01:05:37,626 --> 01:05:42,537
thought to be in Budapest, Hungary,
in 2014,

1361
01:05:42,568 --> 01:05:44,466
but was in fact a hoax.

1362
01:05:44,497 --> 01:05:45,697
- But how do we know?
- (crack)

1363
01:05:47,636 --> 01:05:49,492
(pained): How do we know?

1364
01:05:49,523 --> 01:05:51,431
Ms Miles, are you OK?

1365
01:05:51,463 --> 01:05:53,558
Oh, yes. I'm fine. Just...

1366
01:05:53,590 --> 01:05:57,656
You know what? If I could just maybe
get into a couple of those tissues...

1367
01:05:58,438 --> 01:05:59,627
Oh, of course.

1368
01:06:03,527 --> 01:06:04,580
- I'm sorry.
- No.

1369
01:06:04,611 --> 01:06:10,545
You may wanna check with your HVAC guy
because something's going on in here.

1370
01:06:11,473 --> 01:06:12,683
(Deanna panting)

1371
01:06:13,465 --> 01:06:14,545
- Thank you.
- You've got...

1372
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:19,637
Thank you. That's better.

1373
01:06:21,462 --> 01:06:22,515
(whispers): Tissue.

1374
01:06:23,569 --> 01:06:25,477
Oh, my God.

1375
01:06:28,459 --> 01:06:29,585
Oh, my God.

1376
01:06:32,494 --> 01:06:33,620
(clears her throat)

1377
01:06:34,590 --> 01:06:36,498
Historically...

1378
01:06:36,529 --> 01:06:38,699
Historically, the Huns have...
(her voice breaks)

1379
01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:41,503
(she coughs)

1380
01:06:41,576 --> 01:06:46,655
Could I just have a small...
small sip of water from someone?

1381
01:06:47,646 --> 01:06:49,512
Can I... Do you mind if I just...

1382
01:06:49,543 --> 01:06:51,629
Thank you so much. Thank you.

1383
01:06:53,693 --> 01:06:55,612
(whispers): Don't be a dick now.

1384
01:07:01,608 --> 01:07:02,640
(groans)

1385
01:07:03,662 --> 01:07:06,665
That is surprisingly challenging my body.

1386
01:07:06,696 --> 01:07:08,740
- Wayne!
- Deanna.

1387
01:07:09,522 --> 01:07:10,606
(Deanna groans)

1388
01:07:10,637 --> 01:07:12,556
Oh, girl.

1389
01:07:14,516 --> 01:07:16,612
I think it's OK now.

1390
01:07:18,636 --> 01:07:20,543
So sorry for that.

1391
01:07:21,701 --> 01:07:25,737
Rümschtein discovered a tomb,

1392
01:07:26,519 --> 01:07:30,638
allegedly that had many human...
(strained): skeletons,

1393
01:07:30,669 --> 01:07:34,652
and many various
different kinds of horse skeletons,

1394
01:07:35,653 --> 01:07:37,582
ie, carcasses,

1395
01:07:38,677 --> 01:07:41,721
to enable them to come into
the next dimension.

1396
01:07:42,722 --> 01:07:44,683
Are there any questions...?

1397
01:07:44,714 --> 01:07:46,695
(she groans, students gasp)

1398
01:07:46,726 --> 01:07:48,749
- Deanna?
- No. OK...

1399
01:07:49,709 --> 01:07:51,544
Ms Miles! Ms Miles!

1400
01:07:51,575 --> 01:07:52,618
Dee Rock!

1401
01:07:53,682 --> 01:07:55,600
How did I do?

1402
01:07:55,632 --> 01:07:57,738
Girl, you sweat through your pants.

1403
01:07:57,770 --> 01:08:00,794
Oh, no. I love these pants.

1404
01:08:01,576 --> 01:08:03,578
(she groans)

1405
01:08:06,706 --> 01:08:09,719
It was the first time I've taken a look
at his entire portfolio.

1406
01:08:09,750 --> 01:08:16,570
And I looked at him and I said,
"Tom, your 401(k) is 401 not OK."

1407
01:08:16,601 --> 01:08:17,633
(laughs)

1408
01:08:17,665 --> 01:08:18,707
Interesting.

1409
01:08:18,739 --> 01:08:20,647
Sounds like a really exciting business.

1410
01:08:20,678 --> 01:08:22,597
I'm glad to see you.

1411
01:08:22,628 --> 01:08:24,609
- Yeah, me, too.
- I'm glad you called me.

1412
01:08:24,640 --> 01:08:26,653
You're being quiet tonight. What is it?

1413
01:08:26,684 --> 01:08:29,740
No, I'm enjoying the wine,
and the neat banter.

1414
01:08:29,771 --> 01:08:32,733
Oh, my God.
We're too old and boring for you now.

1415
01:08:32,764 --> 01:08:35,652
- Don't say that. That's not true.
- I knew it. Don't dump me.

1416
01:08:35,684 --> 01:08:37,164
- I'm not gonna dump you.
- I mean it.

1417
01:08:37,613 --> 01:08:40,626
- I will leave Frank. In a heartbeat.
- (mouths)

1418
01:08:40,657 --> 01:08:43,660
I don't give two rats' asses
about Amy and Bill.

1419
01:08:43,827 --> 01:08:46,643
- Excuse me?
- Your jokes make me wanna kill myself.

1420
01:08:46,674 --> 01:08:47,758
They're not very good.

1421
01:08:47,789 --> 01:08:48,843
No, they're the worst.

1422
01:08:49,625 --> 01:08:50,761
That's... That's fair.

1423
01:08:51,616 --> 01:08:54,640
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

1424
01:08:54,671 --> 01:08:56,673
- Those pricks are here.
- Who?

1425
01:08:56,705 --> 01:08:58,655
- They can't see me.
- Where are you going?

1426
01:08:58,686 --> 01:09:01,647
- What are you doing?
- Maybe they're going the other...

1427
01:09:01,836 --> 01:09:04,734
I can't believe...
I did not know they were gonna be here.

1428
01:09:05,682 --> 01:09:07,790
- Well...
- Here it is. Found my contact.

1429
01:09:07,821 --> 01:09:09,802
- Hey, gang. What's the good word?
- Hi!

1430
01:09:10,751 --> 01:09:11,856
Oh...

1431
01:09:12,638 --> 01:09:14,682
What a surprise!
I didn't know you were here.

1432
01:09:14,713 --> 01:09:16,193
- You guys know Marcie, right?
- Yeah.

1433
01:09:16,642 --> 01:09:18,644
- I don't think I introduced you.
- Hi. Hello.

1434
01:09:18,676 --> 01:09:19,843
Pleasure. It's great.

1435
01:09:19,875 --> 01:09:24,640
- What is... What is on your lobe, Dan?
- Oh.

1436
01:09:24,807 --> 01:09:26,871
It's an earring.
It works for Harrison Ford.

1437
01:09:27,653 --> 01:09:28,675
Sure does.

1438
01:09:28,706 --> 01:09:30,906
Harrison Ford blew up the Death Star
and freed a galaxy.

1439
01:09:31,657 --> 01:09:32,700
What have you done, Dan?

1440
01:09:32,731 --> 01:09:35,849
Six-minute abs. He completed
the 30-day challenge of six-minute abs.

1441
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:37,799
My goal is to have a washboard.

1442
01:09:37,830 --> 01:09:40,886
Now, Deanna, what are you up to?
You still pretending to go to college?

1443
01:09:41,667 --> 01:09:43,806
Because you know,
Dan can't foot that bill forever.

1444
01:09:43,837 --> 01:09:47,674
What was the word we learned in Italy
for "pathetic"?

1445
01:09:47,706 --> 01:09:50,667
- I don't remember any more.
- I do. It was Deanna.

1446
01:09:50,698 --> 01:09:52,888
Pathetico in Italian. Pathetic, pathetico.

1447
01:09:53,670 --> 01:09:59,697
Bill, you look like Orson Welles
had a stroke and stayed that way.

1448
01:09:59,728 --> 01:10:01,730
Not the first time I've heard it.

1449
01:10:01,761 --> 01:10:04,858
God, I hate him so much.
I hate him so much.

1450
01:10:04,889 --> 01:10:06,787
He's hateable.

1451
01:10:06,818 --> 01:10:09,717
Deanna, I wanted to speak to you
privately for a second.

1452
01:10:09,748 --> 01:10:14,691
No. I don't have any time for you and I
will never have any time for you again.

1453
01:10:14,722 --> 01:10:18,779
Fine. I was going to say,
Marcie and I have some big news.

1454
01:10:18,904 --> 01:10:20,781
We're getting married next week.

1455
01:10:20,813 --> 01:10:22,804
Small ceremony but super classy.

1456
01:10:22,835 --> 01:10:23,868
Mazel tov!

1457
01:10:23,899 --> 01:10:25,890
Shut up, Bill!

1458
01:10:25,922 --> 01:10:27,840
What the hell is wrong with you?

1459
01:10:27,872 --> 01:10:31,771
They said they were getting married.
We should... Mazel tov!

1460
01:10:31,803 --> 01:10:33,857
Read the room, Bill.

1461
01:10:33,888 --> 01:10:35,775
Thank you. That was very kind.

1462
01:10:35,807 --> 01:10:37,007
I'm not Jewish, but thank you.

1463
01:10:37,736 --> 01:10:38,848
This is a bona fide shit show.

1464
01:10:38,872 --> 01:10:40,791
Oh, jeez.

1465
01:10:40,822 --> 01:10:42,803
I was hoping for a "congratulations".

1466
01:10:42,835 --> 01:10:44,764
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

1467
01:10:44,795 --> 01:10:47,725
- Can I get you any starters, appetisers?
- Jack!

1468
01:10:48,768 --> 01:10:49,821
- What...?
- Deanna.

1469
01:10:49,852 --> 01:10:53,836
Wow, you look... stunning.

1470
01:10:53,867 --> 01:10:55,838
Oh, I don't know. (laughs)

1471
01:10:55,869 --> 01:10:58,914
- Oh, um... this is my mom.
- What?

1472
01:10:58,945 --> 01:11:00,958
Mom, this is who I was telling you about.
The girl.

1473
01:11:01,740 --> 01:11:02,762
- No.
- What?

1474
01:11:02,793 --> 01:11:04,899
- No!
- What am I hearing?

1475
01:11:04,930 --> 01:11:05,963
What's happening?

1476
01:11:06,745 --> 01:11:10,853
Jack, you told me you were seeing
a college girl named Dee Dee.

1477
01:11:10,884 --> 01:11:14,815
Yeah, she came to the frat house
and we met at a party.

1478
01:11:15,775 --> 01:11:17,891
- That's not what you meant.
- (Christine laughs)

1479
01:11:17,923 --> 01:11:18,976
Oh, gosh!

1480
01:11:19,758 --> 01:11:21,895
She had sex with your son!

1481
01:11:21,927 --> 01:11:24,763
She had sex with your son
and she called me right after.

1482
01:11:24,794 --> 01:11:25,994
Because we are friends!

1483
01:11:26,775 --> 01:11:28,841
Oh, my goodness!

1484
01:11:28,872 --> 01:11:33,001
Everybody, she slept with her son
in a library! (cackles)

1485
01:11:35,817 --> 01:11:37,933
This is the greatest thing
I've ever been a part of.

1486
01:11:37,964 --> 01:11:38,976
- I get it.
- Cheers.

1487
01:11:39,007 --> 01:11:41,896
It's just a cruel joke.
It's cruel, and you're right.

1488
01:11:41,927 --> 01:11:44,940
You know what? I might deserve it.
I've been rough on you, but come on,

1489
01:11:44,971 --> 01:11:48,934
seriously, did you have intercourse
with my son?

1490
01:11:49,924 --> 01:11:51,822
- Did you?
- (laughs)

1491
01:11:54,001 --> 01:11:59,799
In terms of your question of like,
did anything happen between us?

1492
01:11:59,830 --> 01:12:01,832
Have we slept together?

1493
01:12:01,863 --> 01:12:04,023
Yeah. Yeah, we have.

1494
01:12:04,804 --> 01:12:06,932
And I rocked... his world.

1495
01:12:06,963 --> 01:12:08,882
- Oh, my God!
- Come on.

1496
01:12:08,913 --> 01:12:11,822
Well, best night of my life.

1497
01:12:11,958 --> 01:12:13,835
I'll drink to that.

1498
01:12:14,992 --> 01:12:16,900
All right. Bye, Jack.

1499
01:12:17,912 --> 01:12:22,844
Whoa! That's my girl! That's my lady!

1500
01:12:23,918 --> 01:12:25,158
Nice to finally meet you, Jack.

1501
01:12:25,847 --> 01:12:27,828
I love you!

1502
01:12:27,859 --> 01:12:31,018
I love you! You're my hero! Whoa!

1503
01:12:31,050 --> 01:12:33,917
I need... I'm gonna check on Dee Dee.

1504
01:12:38,776 --> 01:12:39,935
- Dee Rock!
- Dee!

1505
01:12:40,716 --> 01:12:41,902
Dee, where are you? Oh, there she is!

1506
01:12:41,926 --> 01:12:43,918
- Hi! How are you?
- I heard you had sex in here!

1507
01:12:43,949 --> 01:12:46,785
- So good to see you.
- Oh, my God, you guys. Ssh.

1508
01:12:46,817 --> 01:12:49,799
- What are you doing here?
- We're here to get you out of here.

1509
01:12:49,830 --> 01:12:50,925
No. Why?

1510
01:12:50,956 --> 01:12:53,792
Your ding-dong ex-husband's
getting married tonight.

1511
01:12:53,824 --> 01:12:55,930
You were here for our girl
when she was freaking out.

1512
01:12:55,961 --> 01:12:57,838
You've been there for all of us.

1513
01:12:57,869 --> 01:12:59,767
Let us be there for you.

1514
01:12:59,798 --> 01:13:02,854
My friend Lance who I was in a coma
with is having a gathering this evening.

1515
01:13:02,885 --> 01:13:04,918
His place is kind of a dump,
but it'll be fun!

1516
01:13:04,949 --> 01:13:07,806
No. You know what?
I'm pretty much partied out.

1517
01:13:07,838 --> 01:13:09,788
I just wanna stay in for the night

1518
01:13:09,819 --> 01:13:10,890
- and hit the books.
- Please!

1519
01:13:10,914 --> 01:13:12,989
I'm sorry, Dee. I'm sorry.
I'm not taking this.

1520
01:13:13,771 --> 01:13:15,291
You should not be alone tonight, so...

1521
01:13:15,752 --> 01:13:17,754
- No!
- I'm afraid you don't have an option.

1522
01:13:17,785 --> 01:13:20,145
Yeah, this is not like those
other parties. It's jazz night!

1523
01:13:20,883 --> 01:13:22,791
OK. You know what?

1524
01:13:22,822 --> 01:13:24,783
You're right. If I stay here any longer,

1525
01:13:24,814 --> 01:13:26,868
I'm just gonna keep thinking
about that wedding.

1526
01:13:26,899 --> 01:13:29,829
Yeah, she's probably getting her dress on.

1527
01:13:29,861 --> 01:13:31,821
Hair and make-up, going over her vows.

1528
01:13:31,852 --> 01:13:33,917
OK, you know what? Let's just go.

1529
01:13:33,948 --> 01:13:35,940
- Yeah!
- (whooping)

1530
01:13:35,971 --> 01:13:37,848
No! No!

1531
01:13:37,983 --> 01:13:38,995
Oh...

1532
01:13:39,777 --> 01:13:44,010
You know, Lance, I have to say, you know,
you have a lovely, lovely home here.

1533
01:13:44,792 --> 01:13:45,936
Are you sure tonight is a party?

1534
01:13:45,960 --> 01:13:48,014
Sorry. Lance, what's going on?
Where is everybody?

1535
01:13:48,796 --> 01:13:49,971
- You promised me a jazz party.
- I know.

1536
01:13:49,995 --> 01:13:53,010
You got people doing role-playing games.
And Tuesday night is jazz.

1537
01:13:53,791 --> 01:13:55,926
- Thursday night is role-playing.
- I know. It's my bad.

1538
01:13:55,950 --> 01:13:58,849
I tried to combine them
and I'm regretting that choice now

1539
01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:00,872
because I feel like
I'm losing the jazz crowd

1540
01:14:00,903 --> 01:14:02,863
and I've also lost the role-playing crowd.

1541
01:14:02,895 --> 01:14:04,845
Uh. Taking a ding on both sides.

1542
01:14:04,876 --> 01:14:06,396
Yeah, it's like a double loss, really.

1543
01:14:06,815 --> 01:14:08,890
You know what?
I'm having a wonderful time

1544
01:14:08,922 --> 01:14:14,031
and I have to say, uh-oh, I cannot
stay out of this unbelievable choc...

1545
01:14:14,813 --> 01:14:16,919
You are quite a gifted chocolatier.
I mean...

1546
01:14:16,950 --> 01:14:19,891
- They're really good.
- I don't usually like chocolate.

1547
01:14:19,922 --> 01:14:22,925
I just started eating because
I was nervous but it's really good.

1548
01:14:22,956 --> 01:14:24,906
It is a weed bark. So, maybe...

1549
01:14:24,938 --> 01:14:27,003
I would probably hold off
from having any more.

1550
01:14:28,025 --> 01:14:29,828
- Just cos...
- What is it?

1551
01:14:29,859 --> 01:14:33,885
I have a medicinal marijuana card
for early-onset glaucoma.

1552
01:14:34,834 --> 01:14:35,991
- No.
- Yeah.

1553
01:14:36,022 --> 01:14:38,056
- No, it's not.
- Oh, no, it most certainly is.

1554
01:14:38,838 --> 01:14:41,966
Lance, damn it! Why'd you put out
chocolate weed bark? You gotta label that.

1555
01:14:41,997 --> 01:14:43,864
I am so sorry. It is...

1556
01:14:43,895 --> 01:14:46,940
I've had 14. I've eaten a lot of bark.

1557
01:14:46,971 --> 01:14:48,942
- I've eaten a lot of bark too.
- So much bark.

1558
01:14:48,973 --> 01:14:50,850
So much bark.

1559
01:14:50,881 --> 01:14:53,008
I just wanted to hear some Miles Davis,
you know.

1560
01:14:53,039 --> 01:14:54,885
I'm sorry.

1561
01:14:55,083 --> 01:14:59,025
Is that it? Because I'm starting
to feel a little fungly.

1562
01:14:59,056 --> 01:15:00,995
Yeah, it's pretty powerful stuff.

1563
01:15:01,027 --> 01:15:04,041
Fungly. Fun-Fungle. Fungl-y.

1564
01:15:04,072 --> 01:15:06,876
You have such pretty eyes.

1565
01:15:08,921 --> 01:15:10,933
- Thank you.
- (chuckles)

1566
01:15:12,935 --> 01:15:14,927
My tongue is so big.

1567
01:15:14,958 --> 01:15:16,981
(laughing)

1568
01:15:19,901 --> 01:15:22,966
♪ The final countdown!

1569
01:15:22,998 --> 01:15:25,083
That was recognisable.

1570
01:15:25,114 --> 01:15:27,127
Really good jam. I'm just gonna...

1571
01:15:27,909 --> 01:15:29,011
- Can I get in here?
- Please.

1572
01:15:29,035 --> 01:15:30,088
Oh, it's so comfy.

1573
01:15:30,119 --> 01:15:32,069
OK, wait. I...

1574
01:15:32,100 --> 01:15:34,029
was thinking about something...

1575
01:15:34,061 --> 01:15:37,001
and if I do marry Jack...

1576
01:15:37,032 --> 01:15:38,982
No! Just listen. Wait, wait.

1577
01:15:39,014 --> 01:15:42,038
That would make Marcie my stepmom...

1578
01:15:42,070 --> 01:15:45,949
and that would make Dan my new stepdad.

1579
01:15:45,980 --> 01:15:50,964
And then I would have to say things like,
"Nuh-uh, Dan. You're not my real dad.

1580
01:15:50,995 --> 01:15:52,108
You can't tell me what to do.

1581
01:15:52,132 --> 01:15:54,102
Give me the car!"

1582
01:15:54,134 --> 01:15:55,979
(laughs)

1583
01:15:56,011 --> 01:15:58,106
Or, wait a minute... Or...

1584
01:15:58,138 --> 01:16:00,056
I could flip it.

1585
01:16:00,984 --> 01:16:02,264
And I could make peace with Dan.

1586
01:16:02,945 --> 01:16:06,114
What a great teaching lesson,
right, that would be for Maddie

1587
01:16:06,146 --> 01:16:10,035
to see forgiveness
and truly being the better person.

1588
01:16:10,066 --> 01:16:12,048
- That's better.
- You're so smart.

1589
01:16:12,079 --> 01:16:14,029
You gotta go to that wedding.

1590
01:16:15,083 --> 01:16:16,136
Are we doing it?

1591
01:16:16,167 --> 01:16:18,180
Oh, my God. We're doing it!

1592
01:16:21,130 --> 01:16:27,074
Dan, when I first saw you,
I thought the kerb appeal wasn't great,

1593
01:16:28,085 --> 01:16:30,087
the layout was a bit dated

1594
01:16:30,119 --> 01:16:33,090
and the kitchen a little small
for my liking.

1595
01:16:33,122 --> 01:16:35,082
- (clamouring)
- Dee Rock, good for you.

1596
01:16:35,113 --> 01:16:36,990
You're being the better person.

1597
01:16:37,021 --> 01:16:38,144
Thank you. That's the whole plan.

1598
01:16:38,168 --> 01:16:40,160
I'm gonna see Dan,
I'm gonna shake his hand,

1599
01:16:40,191 --> 01:16:43,205
I'm gonna extend
an olive branch to him and...

1600
01:16:43,987 --> 01:16:48,001
What? He... He's taking her name!

1601
01:16:48,032 --> 01:16:49,075
Who does...

1602
01:16:49,106 --> 01:16:51,182
Men don't do that.

1603
01:16:51,214 --> 01:16:55,072
I tried to do that
and he told me it was silly.

1604
01:16:55,103 --> 01:16:56,156
(shudders)

1605
01:16:57,188 --> 01:17:00,014
That is a very alarming picture.

1606
01:17:00,045 --> 01:17:02,141
Hey! I mean, is...

1607
01:17:02,172 --> 01:17:04,008
Is that a shot at me?

1608
01:17:04,039 --> 01:17:05,113
- Uh... yeah.
- I think so.

1609
01:17:05,144 --> 01:17:08,012
- Hm.
- (giggling)

1610
01:17:15,081 --> 01:17:17,177
You know what?
Dan just lost his olive branch.

1611
01:17:18,105 --> 01:17:20,170
♪ DOMINIQUE YOUNG UNIQUE:
Throw It Down

1612
01:17:22,245 --> 01:17:25,050
♪ Like the way I work it
Then I bend it over show 'em shots

1613
01:17:25,081 --> 01:17:27,028
♪ All these hoes around here
sitting on they ass shots

1614
01:17:27,052 --> 01:17:30,212
♪ He think he finna hit it like the way
he rocks his fitted when he's round

1615
01:17:30,243 --> 01:17:32,120
♪ Don't make me throw it down

1616
01:17:35,081 --> 01:17:36,241
♪ Don't make me throw it down

1617
01:17:39,085 --> 01:17:40,118
♪ Throw it down

1618
01:17:40,149 --> 01:17:43,183
♪ D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D...

1619
01:17:43,214 --> 01:17:44,226
♪ Down

1620
01:17:44,257 --> 01:17:48,042
♪ D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D...

1621
01:17:48,074 --> 01:17:49,210
♪ D-Down

1622
01:17:57,260 --> 01:18:00,274
♪ D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D...

1623
01:18:01,055 --> 01:18:02,077
♪ Down

1624
01:18:02,108 --> 01:18:05,123
♪ D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D...

1625
01:18:05,154 --> 01:18:07,177
♪ Down

1626
01:18:10,232 --> 01:18:11,296
♪ D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D...

1627
01:18:12,078 --> 01:18:13,193
One second.

1628
01:18:13,225 --> 01:18:15,133
(door shuts)

1629
01:18:16,144 --> 01:18:18,198
Deanna, what the hell is wrong with you?

1630
01:18:18,230 --> 01:18:20,096
Oh, my God!

1631
01:18:20,232 --> 01:18:21,285
Oh, my God!

1632
01:18:22,234 --> 01:18:25,091
Hey, Dan.

1633
01:18:26,279 --> 01:18:29,157
Marcie... You're...

1634
01:18:29,189 --> 01:18:31,222
a big Beetlejuice fan, huh?

1635
01:18:31,253 --> 01:18:33,099
Mom!

1636
01:18:33,224 --> 01:18:36,164
Hey, honey. That's uh...

1637
01:18:37,250 --> 01:18:41,243
I think we may have
just gotten slightly...

1638
01:18:41,274 --> 01:18:45,278
You know, I think... I think
if we all kind of work together...

1639
01:18:45,310 --> 01:18:48,188
we can have this shipshape and...

1640
01:18:48,219 --> 01:18:51,139
you won't even know,
or it will be better.

1641
01:18:51,170 --> 01:18:53,297
- Mom, why did you do this?
- Um...

1642
01:18:53,328 --> 01:18:57,249
You know, it's a great um... question.

1643
01:18:57,280 --> 01:19:00,116
I mean, I actually came here...

1644
01:19:00,148 --> 01:19:03,130
fully with the intention
of offering an olive branch.

1645
01:19:03,161 --> 01:19:07,144
Then I don't know if it was the crazy
wedding propaganda in the hallway

1646
01:19:07,175 --> 01:19:10,357
or, you know, was it
the bark high that I'm on?

1647
01:19:11,138 --> 01:19:15,351
Shut up. You are, as of this moment,
completely financially cut off.

1648
01:19:16,132 --> 01:19:19,188
- What?
- Not one more penny for you.

1649
01:19:19,303 --> 01:19:21,263
- Dad.
- Ssh.

1650
01:19:22,212 --> 01:19:23,328
Would it help if I just...

1651
01:19:23,359 --> 01:19:25,247
You know, you...

1652
01:19:25,278 --> 01:19:27,165
You did a good job.

1653
01:19:27,196 --> 01:19:28,322
- It looks good.
- It did.

1654
01:19:28,354 --> 01:19:30,366
- It did look good.
- It was pretty.

1655
01:19:31,148 --> 01:19:33,307
- I think you all should leave.
- OK.

1656
01:19:33,338 --> 01:19:35,152
(mouths)

1657
01:19:36,216 --> 01:19:38,239
(decorations crunching underfoot)

1658
01:19:39,177 --> 01:19:40,376
The other way.

1659
01:19:46,352 --> 01:19:48,280
Get out!

1660
01:19:49,208 --> 01:19:50,314
Thank you.

1661
01:19:51,274 --> 01:19:53,223
The cake was really good.

1662
01:19:53,255 --> 01:19:55,267
Oh, you got a blender.

1663
01:20:06,195 --> 01:20:09,396
Hey! Look! I got your favourite.

1664
01:20:11,231 --> 01:20:13,233
You haven't been returning
any of my calls.

1665
01:20:13,264 --> 01:20:15,545
Yeah, I've been pretty busy
destroying hotel banquet rooms

1666
01:20:16,205 --> 01:20:18,373
- and crashing weddings.
- OK. I get you're upset.

1667
01:20:18,405 --> 01:20:20,418
No, Mom. I don't think you do.

1668
01:20:21,335 --> 01:20:24,455
Is this why you went back to college?
So you could act like some dumb frat guy?

1669
01:20:25,193 --> 01:20:27,279
Cos I actually thought
you wanted to learn something.

1670
01:20:27,311 --> 01:20:30,386
But you've just been getting stoned
and sleeping with guys half your age.

1671
01:20:30,418 --> 01:20:33,389
OK, Jack is not half my... age.

1672
01:20:33,421 --> 01:20:36,403
Oh, my God, I think
he's less than half my age.

1673
01:20:36,434 --> 01:20:39,448
OK, I hear you and you're right.

1674
01:20:40,230 --> 01:20:42,253
Which is why I'm leaving school.

1675
01:20:42,284 --> 01:20:44,213
What?

1676
01:20:44,286 --> 01:20:46,340
I'm gonna drop out of school, honey.

1677
01:20:47,268 --> 01:20:50,313
You know, it wasn't that easy for me
getting used to you being here.

1678
01:20:50,344 --> 01:20:52,450
And now I actually did
and you're just giving up?

1679
01:20:53,232 --> 01:20:55,286
You said the one thing
you regret most in your life

1680
01:20:55,318 --> 01:20:58,395
is not finishing school
and now you're gonna do it again?

1681
01:20:58,426 --> 01:21:00,345
You know what I regret?

1682
01:21:00,376 --> 01:21:03,368
I regret that when you look back
on your senior year of college,

1683
01:21:03,400 --> 01:21:07,279
all you're gonna think about
is your mom's crazy mid-life crisis.

1684
01:21:07,310 --> 01:21:08,394
That's what I regret.

1685
01:21:08,425 --> 01:21:12,409
The worst part is I don't think I was
being a very good mom to you lately.

1686
01:21:12,440 --> 01:21:15,401
And I'm so... I'm so sorry about that.

1687
01:21:15,432 --> 01:21:16,486
No, it's OK.

1688
01:21:17,268 --> 01:21:18,488
It's not OK, actually.

1689
01:21:19,270 --> 01:21:22,262
Not one bit. Not with me,
shouldn't be with you.

1690
01:21:22,419 --> 01:21:24,441
And I'm... I'm gonna do better.

1691
01:21:24,473 --> 01:21:26,496
- I love you, Mom.
- I love you, too.

1692
01:21:27,424 --> 01:21:29,280
You're so great.

1693
01:21:29,311 --> 01:21:31,303
- What are we gonna do?
- Well...

1694
01:21:31,448 --> 01:21:33,325
You can start by drinking that.

1695
01:21:33,357 --> 01:21:36,465
Let's go round up the girls and...
tell them all about it.

1696
01:21:38,373 --> 01:21:40,500
I don't get it.
Why are you leaving school?

1697
01:21:41,282 --> 01:21:45,318
Well, I'm in a bit of a tricky position,
financially.

1698
01:21:45,349 --> 01:21:49,509
So, for right now
I can't cover my tuition and it's over.

1699
01:21:50,291 --> 01:21:51,386
It's never over!

1700
01:21:51,417 --> 01:21:53,409
Was it over when I fell into a coma?

1701
01:21:53,440 --> 01:21:55,411
Well, for eight years, it was.

1702
01:21:55,442 --> 01:21:57,361
That's an awesome point, Amanda.

1703
01:21:57,392 --> 01:21:59,363
But now I'm back and I'm kicking ass.

1704
01:21:59,394 --> 01:22:00,499
Just like Dee Rock here.

1705
01:22:00,531 --> 01:22:04,316
She's gonna kick ass and graduate
and get a job

1706
01:22:04,347 --> 01:22:06,391
and become the next Indiana Jones.

1707
01:22:07,350 --> 01:22:08,550
- Come here.
- Please don't go.

1708
01:22:10,343 --> 01:22:12,663
You guys, we can't let this happen
to my mom a second time.

1709
01:22:13,314 --> 01:22:15,359
She deserves to graduate.
We gotta help her.

1710
01:22:15,390 --> 01:22:19,321
OK, in order to finish,
Dee Rock needs in the neighbourhood of...

1711
01:22:19,353 --> 01:22:20,541
No, it's almost $12,000.

1712
01:22:21,323 --> 01:22:23,398
- Oh, my God!
- I don't have that kind of money.

1713
01:22:23,430 --> 01:22:27,402
You know what? This isn't your problem
to solve, ladies. You can let this go!

1714
01:22:27,434 --> 01:22:30,416
- Can I say something?
OTHERS: Yes, Debbie, just say it.

1715
01:22:30,447 --> 01:22:31,479
Say it.

1716
01:22:31,510 --> 01:22:34,524
OK, we throw a party to raise money
to keep Glenn in school.

1717
01:22:34,555 --> 01:22:37,423
Deb, we can't raise that much money
from a party.

1718
01:22:37,454 --> 01:22:39,414
We don't throw just any party.

1719
01:22:39,446 --> 01:22:42,438
We throw the best party
this school has ever seen.

1720
01:22:42,469 --> 01:22:44,566
If we charge $40 a head...

1721
01:22:45,410 --> 01:22:47,444
- 1,000 students...
- OK.

1722
01:22:47,475 --> 01:22:51,552
..that is $4,000.

1723
01:22:52,418 --> 01:22:55,494
- No, it's not.
- No. That's $40,000.

1724
01:22:55,525 --> 01:22:57,444
What? Done!

1725
01:22:57,475 --> 01:23:02,397
A bunch of kids are not gonna pay $40
to keep some divorcée in college.

1726
01:23:02,428 --> 01:23:03,596
No, but they might pay 20.

1727
01:23:04,378 --> 01:23:05,577
Which is $200,000.

1728
01:23:06,359 --> 01:23:08,434
No, $20,000.

1729
01:23:08,465 --> 01:23:09,536
- Helen, come on.
- No, honey.

1730
01:23:09,560 --> 01:23:12,511
But that's way more money than we need
to keep Mom in school.

1731
01:23:12,542 --> 01:23:14,377
What do you say, Mom?

1732
01:23:14,409 --> 01:23:15,555
- Come on, Glenn.
- Please.

1733
01:23:17,599 --> 01:23:20,456
I say you ladies are pretty remarkable.

1734
01:23:20,488 --> 01:23:21,604
I mean, to be this age

1735
01:23:22,385 --> 01:23:25,399
and to have your whole world
turned upside down

1736
01:23:25,431 --> 01:23:27,600
and to come out with friends like you
on the other side

1737
01:23:28,382 --> 01:23:30,530
is quite a thing, really.

1738
01:23:30,561 --> 01:23:32,563
And I'm proud to be your sister.

1739
01:23:32,594 --> 01:23:35,556
And I'm so proud to be your mom
and I'm proud of you.

1740
01:23:35,587 --> 01:23:37,516
I'm proud of you.

1741
01:23:38,507 --> 01:23:42,604
And I'm so worried about the math skills
in this room.

1742
01:23:43,501 --> 01:23:44,614
I don't mean to single you out

1743
01:23:44,638 --> 01:23:48,517
but, Helen, I'm staring
right down the barrel at you.

1744
01:23:49,611 --> 01:23:54,575
And I'm starting to think that maybe
this party plan just might work!

1745
01:23:55,492 --> 01:23:56,545
Come on, Mom.

1746
01:23:56,578 --> 01:23:58,422
No! I don't know!

1747
01:23:58,454 --> 01:23:59,614
All right, I'm down to clown!

1748
01:23:59,643 --> 01:24:01,645
(whooping and cheering)

1749
01:24:02,563 --> 01:24:05,566
This is going to be epic!

1750
01:24:10,581 --> 01:24:12,656
OK. No one wants to show up first
to a party.

1751
01:24:13,438 --> 01:24:15,607
I'm sure lots of people are gonna come.

1752
01:24:15,638 --> 01:24:18,589
Guess everyone's
at the Christina Aguilera concert.

1753
01:24:18,620 --> 01:24:21,457
- What? That's tonight?
- Yeah.

1754
01:24:21,488 --> 01:24:23,469
Oh, my God. We don't stand a chance.

1755
01:24:23,584 --> 01:24:25,492
All right, ladies,

1756
01:24:25,523 --> 01:24:27,473
we gotta do something drastic.

1757
01:24:27,650 --> 01:24:30,507
Because this is not working.

1758
01:24:30,665 --> 01:24:33,605
You know,
I don't wanna be a negative Nelly

1759
01:24:33,636 --> 01:24:35,659
but that is a tough pic, guys.

1760
01:24:35,691 --> 01:24:37,682
You look happy and scared.

1761
01:24:38,464 --> 01:24:39,695
I do, don't I?

1762
01:24:40,477 --> 01:24:41,592
- All right.
- I like it.

1763
01:24:41,624 --> 01:24:43,480
Screw this. Give me your phone.

1764
01:24:43,511 --> 01:24:44,679
Why? What do you want?

1765
01:24:45,461 --> 01:24:47,671
I'm gonna tweet out a juicier carrot.

1766
01:24:51,477 --> 01:24:52,697
- Maddie!
- You're crazy.

1767
01:24:53,479 --> 01:24:54,626
What is it? What did you do?

1768
01:24:54,657 --> 01:24:57,546
I just tweeted
to Helen's three million followers

1769
01:24:57,577 --> 01:25:01,487
that Christina Aguilera is gonna come
to the party after her concert tonight.

1770
01:25:01,519 --> 01:25:04,522
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

1771
01:25:04,553 --> 01:25:05,711
I love Christina Aguilera!

1772
01:25:06,492 --> 01:25:08,536
She's the only person
I ever had a poster of.

1773
01:25:08,672 --> 01:25:10,654
She's not actually coming, Debbie.

1774
01:25:10,685 --> 01:25:12,562
But nobody needs to know that.

1775
01:25:12,593 --> 01:25:14,647
How do you have three million followers?

1776
01:25:15,586 --> 01:25:17,609
Coma Girl. I'm a medical mystery.

1777
01:25:17,640 --> 01:25:20,643
Now, Maddie, I don't know.
There's a real...

1778
01:25:20,674 --> 01:25:23,656
fibbing element to that
that I don't like.

1779
01:25:25,710 --> 01:25:27,577
Do you think it'll work?

1780
01:25:28,547 --> 01:25:29,631
I believed it.

1781
01:25:30,528 --> 01:25:32,717
- (party music)
- (cheering)

1782
01:25:35,741 --> 01:25:37,691
I think it's definitely working.

1783
01:25:37,722 --> 01:25:39,599
Hell yeah, it is.

1784
01:25:40,590 --> 01:25:42,561
Hey, here you go. Have fun!

1785
01:25:42,592 --> 01:25:45,532
Thanks for posting about Christina.
I couldn't get tickets.

1786
01:25:45,564 --> 01:25:46,764
- Coma Girl rules.
- Thank you!

1787
01:25:47,545 --> 01:25:48,557
All right.

1788
01:25:48,588 --> 01:25:50,726
- Thank you.
- It's amazing.

1789
01:25:50,757 --> 01:25:52,634
I'm tired of doing this.

1790
01:25:52,665 --> 01:25:53,729
No, Helen, we can't all...

1791
01:25:53,760 --> 01:25:55,637
Hey! When's Christina getting here?

1792
01:25:55,668 --> 01:25:56,721
- Guys...
- Yeah.

1793
01:25:56,753 --> 01:25:59,683
Christina's coming.
She's the voice of our generation.

1794
01:25:59,714 --> 01:26:01,612
- True.
- We can wait for her.

1795
01:26:01,643 --> 01:26:02,748
♪ ..confession

1796
01:26:02,780 --> 01:26:05,553
♪ I'm gonna teach you boys a lesson

1797
01:26:05,762 --> 01:26:07,649
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

1798
01:26:08,744 --> 01:26:09,766
Mm.

1799
01:26:10,548 --> 01:26:11,702
- Oh, it's good!
- It's not bad!

1800
01:26:11,726 --> 01:26:13,738
- Yeah. (chuckles)
- Yeah.

1801
01:26:13,770 --> 01:26:15,782
Do you wanna meet in the garage
in 20 minutes?

1802
01:26:16,564 --> 01:26:18,608
- Yes, I do.
- Yes, you would.

1803
01:26:18,724 --> 01:26:20,610
No, no, no!

1804
01:26:21,569 --> 01:26:22,780
God, make better choices.

1805
01:26:23,561 --> 01:26:25,699
Um... hey, come on back.

1806
01:26:25,731 --> 01:26:27,764
That popped right out of my mouth

1807
01:26:27,795 --> 01:26:30,809
when actually I meant to say
we're not gonna do that.

1808
01:26:31,664 --> 01:26:33,739
The... That's... You don't like the wine?

1809
01:26:35,584 --> 01:26:37,816
No, the wine is great and...

1810
01:26:38,785 --> 01:26:40,652
and you're great and...

1811
01:26:41,601 --> 01:26:44,625
I just think
when you meet the right person,

1812
01:26:44,656 --> 01:26:45,771
which is not me,

1813
01:26:46,658 --> 01:26:48,827
she's gonna be really, really lucky

1814
01:26:49,609 --> 01:26:52,601
but I think that we're...

1815
01:26:52,633 --> 01:26:55,625
Yeah, we should
just really be good friends.

1816
01:26:55,656 --> 01:26:57,732
I don't think I can get on board
with this, Dee.

1817
01:26:57,764 --> 01:26:59,828
Well, I think it's for the best.

1818
01:27:00,746 --> 01:27:01,799
- OK.
- OK?

1819
01:27:01,830 --> 01:27:03,759
Yeah, if you say so.

1820
01:27:03,790 --> 01:27:05,834
Hey, Mom, look who's here!

1821
01:27:06,616 --> 01:27:08,743
- Hi!
- Hi, what are you doing here?

1822
01:27:08,775 --> 01:27:11,788
Well, I started following Coma Girl
on Twitter

1823
01:27:11,819 --> 01:27:13,738
and I came to see...

1824
01:27:14,687 --> 01:27:15,834
Xtina!

1825
01:27:16,616 --> 01:27:17,763
(laughs) Oh, yeah!

1826
01:27:17,794 --> 01:27:20,776
Oh, hi, Jack. I'm Christine.

1827
01:27:20,807 --> 01:27:22,664
We met at the restaurant.

1828
01:27:22,695 --> 01:27:26,626
- Yeah, hi. I remember you... both.
- My man.

1829
01:27:27,847 --> 01:27:29,870
God, I just... I wanna
go back to college so bad.

1830
01:27:30,651 --> 01:27:31,827
Just go back to Frank.
Go back to Frank.

1831
01:27:31,851 --> 01:27:34,677
Hey, hey! We're here.

1832
01:27:34,864 --> 01:27:37,753
Oh, my God! What are they doing here?

1833
01:27:37,784 --> 01:27:39,755
I don't wanna be at a party
with my mom and dad.

1834
01:27:39,786 --> 01:27:41,829
Yeah, that must be so weird for you, Mom.

1835
01:27:42,789 --> 01:27:45,750
- Mom.
- Sweetheart!

1836
01:27:45,781 --> 01:27:47,742
Hi. Hey, Dad.

1837
01:27:47,773 --> 01:27:49,702
We heard you were having a party.

1838
01:27:49,733 --> 01:27:50,870
So I made a taco salad.

1839
01:27:51,652 --> 01:27:53,817
Yeah, I told her
a bunch of kids don't want a taco salad.

1840
01:27:53,841 --> 01:27:56,855
- I would love to have some taco salad.
- Please, yeah! I love taco salad.

1841
01:27:56,886 --> 01:27:59,702
- See, I told you!
- OK. All right.

1842
01:27:59,733 --> 01:28:00,744
Your parents?

1843
01:28:00,776 --> 01:28:03,758
Yeah. This is my mom and dad,
Mike and Sandy.

1844
01:28:03,789 --> 01:28:04,853
- Yeah.
- Hello.

1845
01:28:05,802 --> 01:28:07,710
Wow! OK. Um...

1846
01:28:07,741 --> 01:28:10,724
Wow! A lovely, lovely couple.

1847
01:28:10,755 --> 01:28:12,757
It's... It's such a pleasure to meet you.

1848
01:28:12,789 --> 01:28:16,751
You've raised... wow!
What an incredible woman!

1849
01:28:16,845 --> 01:28:18,722
Sorry, I'm Jack Strong.

1850
01:28:18,753 --> 01:28:21,766
We've been seeing each other
for a little bit now.

1851
01:28:21,798 --> 01:28:24,790
Well, I guess we're kind of on a break.
Pretty recent.

1852
01:28:24,821 --> 01:28:26,875
But I want you both to know

1853
01:28:26,907 --> 01:28:30,921
that I'm gonna take the best care
of your daughter that I can.

1854
01:28:31,703 --> 01:28:33,820
- She means the world to me.
- OK.

1855
01:28:33,851 --> 01:28:36,792
I uh... I gotta... I have a gun, son.

1856
01:28:36,823 --> 01:28:37,886
- OK, OK.
- No.

1857
01:28:37,918 --> 01:28:39,732
We're just gonna walk off.

1858
01:28:39,763 --> 01:28:41,734
- Are you kidding me?
- All right. No.

1859
01:28:41,765 --> 01:28:44,749
Taco salad train. Choo-choo!

1860
01:28:48,784 --> 01:28:50,848
Hey, where's Christina Aguilera?

1861
01:28:50,880 --> 01:28:52,819
This is false advertising!

1862
01:28:52,850 --> 01:28:54,727
Guys, she's coming, OK?

1863
01:28:54,759 --> 01:28:55,864
She's gonna be here soon.

1864
01:28:55,895 --> 01:28:58,929
Hey, uh... I saw your tweet.

1865
01:28:58,961 --> 01:29:00,890
Where's Xtina?

1866
01:29:00,921 --> 01:29:02,850
She's not gonna show up, is she?

1867
01:29:02,881 --> 01:29:04,779
You guys suck!

1868
01:29:04,810 --> 01:29:06,812
If Christina doesn't show soon...

1869
01:29:08,773 --> 01:29:10,868
..I'm gonna put your ass in another coma.

1870
01:29:10,900 --> 01:29:12,818
Count of three, bitch.

1871
01:29:12,850 --> 01:29:14,779
One, two...

1872
01:29:15,790 --> 01:29:17,823
- (groans)
- (shocked gasps from crowd)

1873
01:29:17,928 --> 01:29:19,868
(shocked gasps from crowd)

1874
01:29:21,745 --> 01:29:22,913
(squeals)

1875
01:29:22,944 --> 01:29:25,770
Look, honey, we love you.

1876
01:29:25,801 --> 01:29:27,793
We want you to graduate.

1877
01:29:27,824 --> 01:29:29,774
This is for you.

1878
01:29:30,785 --> 01:29:31,963
What is...

1879
01:29:32,860 --> 01:29:34,841
- No.
- Yep.

1880
01:29:34,873 --> 01:29:36,833
I love you so much,
but I'm not gonna let you

1881
01:29:36,864 --> 01:29:38,804
take apart your 401(k) for this.

1882
01:29:38,835 --> 01:29:39,878
I got this.

1883
01:29:39,909 --> 01:29:41,807
Honey, come on...

1884
01:29:43,840 --> 01:29:45,863
Hey! Hey!

1885
01:29:46,947 --> 01:29:48,959
- Eat gluten!
- I ain't allowed to have gluten!

1886
01:29:48,991 --> 01:29:50,784
Oh, my God!

1887
01:29:50,816 --> 01:29:51,910
Frank, do something!

1888
01:29:51,943 --> 01:29:54,778
- What am I gonna do?
- I don't know! Do something.

1889
01:29:54,809 --> 01:29:55,832
Come on, girls!

1890
01:29:55,863 --> 01:29:57,803
Ladies! Hey! Let's break it up!

1891
01:29:57,834 --> 01:29:59,023
(shocked gasps)

1892
01:30:00,795 --> 01:30:01,880
You!

1893
01:30:05,029 --> 01:30:08,803
(groans) Her skull is so strong.

1894
01:30:08,835 --> 01:30:10,878
Sweetheart, you were so brave.

1895
01:30:10,910 --> 01:30:13,933
That's my brave man. Come on,
let's go make love in the bathroom.

1896
01:30:13,965 --> 01:30:17,802
OK. I can't see, so... just lead me.

1897
01:30:17,833 --> 01:30:18,897
There we go.

1898
01:30:19,814 --> 01:30:21,921
No! Stop fighting, girls!

1899
01:30:21,952 --> 01:30:23,943
- Say night-night.
- No! No!

1900
01:30:23,975 --> 01:30:25,997
(yells) No!

1901
01:30:29,824 --> 01:30:30,951
Oh, boy!

1902
01:30:30,983 --> 01:30:33,005
- Oh, my God, Mom!
- Dee Dee!

1903
01:30:33,037 --> 01:30:35,821
- She got me in the biscuits!
- Oh, my God!

1904
01:30:35,852 --> 01:30:37,009
I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!

1905
01:30:37,041 --> 01:30:39,898
You punched Dee Rock?
I'm gonna squish you like a grape!

1906
01:30:39,929 --> 01:30:43,839
Guys, stop it! Stop it! Stop it! God!

1907
01:30:43,871 --> 01:30:46,842
Ladies, we have enough stuff
to worry about as women.

1908
01:30:46,874 --> 01:30:49,877
- You shouldn't be fighting each other.
- I'm sorry, Dee Rock.

1909
01:30:49,908 --> 01:30:51,952
I'm sorry I punched you
in the mom boob.

1910
01:30:51,983 --> 01:30:53,974
- Tell each other sorry.
- I'm sorry, Dee Rock.

1911
01:30:54,006 --> 01:30:55,080
Thank you.

1912
01:30:55,987 --> 01:30:57,978
Would you care for a Kahlúa and cranberry?

1913
01:30:58,865 --> 01:30:59,949
Ew. That...

1914
01:30:59,980 --> 01:31:02,067
I would do it. I would do it. Yeah.

1915
01:31:02,942 --> 01:31:03,964
- OK.
- OK.

1916
01:31:03,996 --> 01:31:05,091
I want one.

1917
01:31:05,967 --> 01:31:07,853
Mom, are you OK?

1918
01:31:07,885 --> 01:31:09,205
She popped me right in the bosom.

1919
01:31:09,856 --> 01:31:11,858
I really got T-boned.

1920
01:31:11,889 --> 01:31:13,078
- Oh, Mom.
- You know, what...

1921
01:31:13,860 --> 01:31:15,038
What am I doing here?

1922
01:31:15,956 --> 01:31:18,948
I'm lying to these kids.
I'm taking their money. I...

1923
01:31:19,908 --> 01:31:21,002
I got this.

1924
01:31:21,034 --> 01:31:23,036
Hey, everybody, you know what?

1925
01:31:23,067 --> 01:31:24,099
Party's over.

1926
01:31:24,881 --> 01:31:27,005
Head on back to the door.
We're gonna give you a refund.

1927
01:31:27,029 --> 01:31:29,010
Christina Aguilera is in no way...

1928
01:31:29,042 --> 01:31:31,054
- Can I see you for a second?
- (they gasp)

1929
01:31:31,085 --> 01:31:32,994
God bless!

1930
01:31:34,067 --> 01:31:36,123
Leonor or Lenore...

1931
01:31:36,904 --> 01:31:38,062
you gotta stop doing that.

1932
01:31:38,093 --> 01:31:40,095
Can I see you for a second?

1933
01:31:40,127 --> 01:31:42,035
Now is not really a good time.

1934
01:31:42,066 --> 01:31:43,130
Outside! Now!

1935
01:31:43,912 --> 01:31:45,987
(whispers):
Don't make eye contact.

1936
01:31:46,101 --> 01:31:49,115
Look at me. Look me in my eyes.

1937
01:31:49,897 --> 01:31:51,093
- Look me in my eyes now.
- Debbie.

1938
01:31:51,117 --> 01:31:52,910
I'm scared.

1939
01:31:52,942 --> 01:31:54,975
Look. Look, look.

1940
01:31:55,006 --> 01:31:56,070
Come outside.

1941
01:31:56,101 --> 01:31:58,103
- Let's go!
- If I'm going, you're going.

1942
01:31:58,906 --> 01:32:00,786
- I don't wanna go.
- We're stronger as a group.

1943
01:32:01,462 --> 01:32:03,370
Leonor.

1944
01:32:05,445 --> 01:32:08,323
Leonor, what is going on?

1945
01:32:11,399 --> 01:32:13,328
Hey, guys. I'm Christina.

1946
01:32:13,432 --> 01:32:15,361
(shocked moans)

1947
01:32:15,392 --> 01:32:16,435
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!

1948
01:32:16,466 --> 01:32:19,344
- I love you. I love you so much!
- I love you, too.

1949
01:32:19,376 --> 01:32:20,491
How is this happening?

1950
01:32:21,273 --> 01:32:24,464
I knew she wasn't playing at your party
cos Christina's my cousin.

1951
01:32:25,434 --> 01:32:27,352
We're more like sisters.

1952
01:32:27,384 --> 01:32:29,438
She always says that,
but we're just cousins.

1953
01:32:29,469 --> 01:32:30,512
Isn't she so funny?

1954
01:32:31,440 --> 01:32:35,475
That's what I'm always saying to you.
I'm always saying you're so funny.

1955
01:32:35,507 --> 01:32:38,500
I just can't kind of figure out
why you're doing this.

1956
01:32:39,281 --> 01:32:41,378
Because you're a good lady.

1957
01:32:41,409 --> 01:32:44,297
I mean, you're a sad, older lady

1958
01:32:44,329 --> 01:32:47,373
but you're still a good lady
that needs help.

1959
01:32:47,405 --> 01:32:49,045
CHRISTINA:
Us ladies gotta stick together.

1960
01:32:49,302 --> 01:32:51,461
She filled me in about,
you know, you being here.

1961
01:32:51,492 --> 01:32:55,350
- I support your cause. I wanna do this.
- Thank you. God, you're cool!

1962
01:32:55,381 --> 01:32:56,494
Where are we doing this thing?

1963
01:32:56,518 --> 01:32:58,530
Backyard.
We just put up some twinkle lights.

1964
01:32:59,312 --> 01:33:00,498
Love twinkle lights
but I've got my own lights.

1965
01:33:00,522 --> 01:33:02,472
Boys, bring 'em out. Let's go!

1966
01:33:02,503 --> 01:33:06,371
Donald, Craig, Jerry, let's go.

1967
01:33:08,498 --> 01:33:13,441
Ladies and gentlemen,
my cousin, Christina Aguilera.

1968
01:33:13,473 --> 01:33:15,339
Get it, girl!

1969
01:33:15,370 --> 01:33:17,394
(cheering)

1970
01:33:20,564 --> 01:33:22,451
♪ After all you put me through

1971
01:33:23,358 --> 01:33:25,381
♪ You'd think I'd despise you

1972
01:33:25,412 --> 01:33:27,498
♪ But in the end, I wanna thank you

1973
01:33:27,529 --> 01:33:29,479
♪ Because you've made me
that much stronger

1974
01:33:29,510 --> 01:33:31,575
♪ Well, I thought I knew you

1975
01:33:32,357 --> 01:33:34,453
♪ Thinkin' that you were true

1976
01:33:34,484 --> 01:33:36,527
♪ Guess I, I couldn't trust
- (shrieks)

1977
01:33:36,559 --> 01:33:38,436
♪ I called your bluff
- Oh, my God!

1978
01:33:38,467 --> 01:33:39,551
♪ Because I've had enough

1979
01:33:39,583 --> 01:33:42,419
♪ You were there by my side

1980
01:33:42,450 --> 01:33:44,546
♪ Always down for the ride

1981
01:33:44,577 --> 01:33:47,550
♪ But your joyride
just came down in flames

1982
01:33:47,581 --> 01:33:49,531
♪ Because your greed sold me out in shame

1983
01:33:49,562 --> 01:33:53,410
♪ Mm-hm, after all of
the stealing and cheating

1984
01:33:53,441 --> 01:33:56,517
♪ You probably think that
I hold resentment for you

1985
01:33:56,548 --> 01:34:00,573
♪ But uh-uh, oh no, you're wrong

1986
01:34:00,605 --> 01:34:03,420
♪ Because if it wasn't
for all that you tried to do

1987
01:34:03,451 --> 01:34:04,504
♪ I wouldn't know

1988
01:34:04,536 --> 01:34:07,466
♪ Just how capable I am to pull through

1989
01:34:08,383 --> 01:34:10,469
Yeah! We got it! You got the money!

1990
01:34:10,500 --> 01:34:13,440
♪ Because it makes me that much stronger

1991
01:34:13,472 --> 01:34:15,578
♪ Makes me work a little bit harder

1992
01:34:15,609 --> 01:34:18,466
♪ It makes me that much wiser

1993
01:34:18,498 --> 01:34:21,386
♪ So thanks for making me a fighter

1994
01:34:21,417 --> 01:34:23,419
This is the best night of my life!

1995
01:34:23,566 --> 01:34:25,568
♪ Made my skin a little bit thicker

1996
01:34:25,599 --> 01:34:28,488
♪ Makes me that
♪ Much smarter

1997
01:34:28,519 --> 01:34:31,522
♪ So thanks for making me a fighter

1998
01:34:31,553 --> 01:34:33,482
(cheering)

1999
01:34:45,588 --> 01:34:46,610
Just a minute.

2000
01:34:46,641 --> 01:34:48,622
It seems... I got it now.

2001
01:34:48,654 --> 01:34:50,447
- Got it?
- Yeah.

2002
01:34:51,469 --> 01:34:53,513
May I just have a minute?

2003
01:34:53,544 --> 01:34:57,569
I just... I wanted to thank you
for giving me a second chance.

2004
01:34:57,600 --> 01:34:58,665
It means a lot to me.

2005
01:34:59,446 --> 01:35:02,501
Of course. It's only because
it's a requirement to pass the course.

2006
01:35:02,533 --> 01:35:04,483
That and the fact
you're my favourite student.

2007
01:35:04,514 --> 01:35:06,641
- Well...
- Break a leg.

2008
01:35:06,673 --> 01:35:08,560
- Well...
- Let's hope not.

2009
01:35:08,591 --> 01:35:09,634
Yeah, sorry.

2010
01:35:09,665 --> 01:35:12,554
Um... Deanna Miles, everybody.

2011
01:35:13,440 --> 01:35:14,483
Thank you.

2012
01:35:16,589 --> 01:35:19,529
Also, this is here if you need it.

2013
01:35:19,561 --> 01:35:20,645
Thank you.

2014
01:35:20,676 --> 01:35:22,678
(she clears throat)

2015
01:35:25,473 --> 01:35:26,578
Hello.

2016
01:35:32,521 --> 01:35:37,474
March 25th, 2014, historian Albert...

2017
01:35:37,652 --> 01:35:44,472
Albrecht Rümschtein announced
that the burial tomb of Attila the Hun

2018
01:35:44,503 --> 01:35:46,682
had been discovered in Budapest, Hungary.

2019
01:35:47,537 --> 01:35:48,695
Now, the...

2020
01:35:51,531 --> 01:35:53,710
- (whispers): Sorry about your eye.
- Yeah, it's fine.

2021
01:35:54,492 --> 01:35:55,504
Hi!

2022
01:35:55,535 --> 01:35:57,506
- It's for her.
- That's my mom.

2023
01:35:57,662 --> 01:36:00,550
It's important for her.
It's emotional support.

2024
01:36:00,582 --> 01:36:01,656
I'll give you five bucks.

2025
01:36:01,687 --> 01:36:03,647
OK, thanks. OK.

2026
01:36:04,638 --> 01:36:06,577
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

2027
01:36:08,631 --> 01:36:10,592
I'm so sorry for the interruption.

2028
01:36:10,623 --> 01:36:12,741
- These are my sorority sisters.
- Oh.

2029
01:36:13,522 --> 01:36:14,743
Hey. It's me, Helen.

2030
01:36:15,525 --> 01:36:16,557
I know.

2031
01:36:16,588 --> 01:36:17,735
(whispers): He knows that.

2032
01:36:19,591 --> 01:36:21,510
(whispers): You got this, Mom.

2033
01:36:23,606 --> 01:36:25,629
(clears her throat)

2034
01:36:26,692 --> 01:36:30,696
A group of archaeologists
using carbon dating

2035
01:36:30,727 --> 01:36:34,575
proved that the grave was in fact a hoax.

2036
01:36:34,606 --> 01:36:37,734
There were so many scientists involved
that it was...

2037
01:36:40,612 --> 01:36:42,750
..it was standing tomb only.

2038
01:36:43,532 --> 01:36:45,659
- Whoo!
- (girls laugh)

2039
01:36:47,557 --> 01:36:50,549
Thank you. I wasn't sure about that one.

2040
01:36:50,769 --> 01:36:53,783
- Now I hope that you're all Hungary...
- (laughter)

2041
01:36:54,565 --> 01:36:55,701
..for some facts

2042
01:36:55,732 --> 01:37:00,550
because I'm about to give you
the thrilla about Attila.

2043
01:37:00,581 --> 01:37:02,667
- (laughter)
- Guys, that's my mom. She's killing it!

2044
01:37:02,698 --> 01:37:04,648
- (cheering)
- Go, Dee!

2045
01:37:08,631 --> 01:37:09,778
(whoops)

2046
01:37:12,749 --> 01:37:14,772
OK, guys, thanks.

2047
01:37:15,732 --> 01:37:18,641
Number one, there was
no Professor Rümschtein.

2048
01:37:18,672 --> 01:37:19,810
Complete, complete hoax.

2049
01:37:20,591 --> 01:37:22,572
This person didn't exist, PR fact.

2050
01:37:22,603 --> 01:37:24,669
I know. I was shocked
when I found out, too.

2051
01:37:25,711 --> 01:37:27,818
These young men and women
comport themselves

2052
01:37:28,600 --> 01:37:30,633
with astounding grace and wisdom.

2053
01:37:30,664 --> 01:37:32,791
Every one of them
brings tremendous pride

2054
01:37:32,823 --> 01:37:35,586
to this hallowed institution.

2055
01:37:35,617 --> 01:37:36,743
And on a personal note,

2056
01:37:36,774 --> 01:37:40,716
I will say that the future of this world
is in pretty good hands.

2057
01:37:40,747 --> 01:37:44,616
You may now move your tassels to the left.

2058
01:37:44,647 --> 01:37:50,663
Congratulations to Decatur University's
graduating class of 2018.

2059
01:37:50,695 --> 01:37:52,665
(cheering)

2060
01:37:52,697 --> 01:37:53,812
Whoo!

2061
01:37:55,847 --> 01:37:57,849
- Hey, Christine!
- Hey!

2062
01:37:58,630 --> 01:38:00,673
- Congratulations!
- Proud of you!

2063
01:38:00,706 --> 01:38:01,738
- Thank you.
- I love you.

2064
01:38:01,769 --> 01:38:02,812
I love you, too.

2065
01:38:02,843 --> 01:38:04,835
Come on.
Let's go make love in the science lab.

2066
01:38:05,617 --> 01:38:06,805
OK. Be right back.

2067
01:38:06,837 --> 01:38:07,848
OK.

2068
01:38:08,630 --> 01:38:09,861
Hey, Mom! Hi.

2069
01:38:10,643 --> 01:38:12,780
- I'm so proud!
- Congrats, baby.

2070
01:38:12,811 --> 01:38:14,813
- Thank you for coming.
- Look at our girl.

2071
01:38:14,845 --> 01:38:16,784
Sweetheart!

2072
01:38:16,815 --> 01:38:18,745
- Congrats.
- Thank you, honey.

2073
01:38:18,776 --> 01:38:19,847
- I'm ready.
- You look great!

2074
01:38:19,871 --> 01:38:21,706
I'm so proud of you guys.

2075
01:38:21,737 --> 01:38:24,855
You two have made an old man very happy.

2076
01:38:25,637 --> 01:38:28,765
My daughter, my granddaughter,
both got a degree today.

2077
01:38:28,796 --> 01:38:30,694
Screw you, Dan!

2078
01:38:30,725 --> 01:38:31,768
- Dad!
- Grandpa!

2079
01:38:31,799 --> 01:38:33,666
- What?
- Hey.

2080
01:38:33,697 --> 01:38:35,843
I'm starving. Can we please
go to Mike and Sandy's house?

2081
01:38:35,867 --> 01:38:38,828
You know what?
We'll catch up with you in a minute.

2082
01:38:38,859 --> 01:38:41,852
But I just want...
just a moment here with my girl.

2083
01:38:41,883 --> 01:38:43,823
- OK, babe.
- Sure, honey.

2084
01:38:44,897 --> 01:38:46,867
- Bye.
- You get out.

2085
01:38:46,899 --> 01:38:48,713
(laughs)

2086
01:38:52,780 --> 01:38:55,751
Look at us! Couple of college grads, huh!

2087
01:38:55,783 --> 01:38:57,868
Mom, you did it. You got your degree.

2088
01:38:57,899 --> 01:38:59,859
I'm so proud of you.

2089
01:39:00,840 --> 01:39:02,675
I'm proud of me, too.

2090
01:39:02,706 --> 01:39:04,677
But I'm really proud of you.

2091
01:39:04,708 --> 01:39:06,783
I hope you soak it all in.
This is your big day.

2092
01:39:06,814 --> 01:39:09,713
I will. Wait, you didn't throw your hat!

2093
01:39:09,744 --> 01:39:11,883
I think there were so many people

2094
01:39:11,914 --> 01:39:14,896
and I just want to keep it
as a memento for my alma mater.

2095
01:39:14,928 --> 01:39:16,846
You can keep it, but you gotta throw it.

2096
01:39:16,877 --> 01:39:20,725
- You don't wanna jinx it.
- OK. I don't wanna jinx myself.

2097
01:39:20,756 --> 01:39:22,316
- Yeah, already.
- All right, here goes!

2098
01:39:22,706 --> 01:39:23,749
Whoo!

2099
01:39:23,874 --> 01:39:26,742
(cries out in pain)

2100
01:39:26,867 --> 01:39:28,754
- Oh, my God.
- Who did that?

2101
01:39:28,785 --> 01:39:30,891
Marcie, the earring. It's gone.

2102
01:39:30,923 --> 01:39:32,768
That's a half-carat.

2103
01:39:32,800 --> 01:39:34,812
- Don't move.
- You're such a fool.

2104
01:39:34,843 --> 01:39:35,907
- We should go.
- OK.

2105
01:39:35,938 --> 01:39:37,857
Excuse me!

2106
01:39:40,808 --> 01:39:42,831
♪ MEGHAN TRAINOR: Woman Up

2107
01:39:43,811 --> 01:39:45,750
♪ Put your favourite heels on

2108
01:39:45,887 --> 01:39:47,826
♪ Cos they make you feel strong

2109
01:39:47,909 --> 01:39:49,807
♪ When you're lookin' good

2110
01:39:49,839 --> 01:39:51,882
♪ You know you're gonna have a good time

2111
01:39:52,810 --> 01:39:54,739
♪ Don't forget mascara

2112
01:39:54,864 --> 01:39:56,877
♪ And to keep your head up

2113
01:39:57,732 --> 01:39:58,775
♪ Like Madonna would

2114
01:39:58,806 --> 01:40:00,818
♪ Rub her lipstick redder than wine

2115
01:40:00,850 --> 01:40:01,976
♪ So let's go

2116
01:40:02,758 --> 01:40:04,770
♪ Roll your bumper and whine slow

2117
01:40:04,801 --> 01:40:06,783
♪ Show the world you can shine, glow

2118
01:40:06,814 --> 01:40:07,864
♪ Cos you got the light now

2119
01:40:07,888 --> 01:40:08,930
♪ You got the light now

2120
01:40:08,962 --> 01:40:09,984
♪ Ow!

2121
01:40:10,766 --> 01:40:11,966
♪ All my girls raise your hand

2122
01:40:12,747 --> 01:40:14,822
♪ If you don't need a man

2123
01:40:14,853 --> 01:40:16,876
♪ Cos you're more than good enough

2124
01:40:17,762 --> 01:40:18,983
♪ You gotta woman up, woman up

2125
01:40:19,764 --> 01:40:21,798
♪ Don't matter what you've been through

2126
01:40:21,829 --> 01:40:23,967
♪ Just make them remember you

2127
01:40:23,999 --> 01:40:26,793
♪ This one for all my girls

2128
01:40:26,824 --> 01:40:28,847
♪ My girls who woman up, woman up

2129
01:40:29,900 --> 01:40:30,985
♪ Woman up, woman up

2130
01:40:31,892 --> 01:40:33,904
♪ Woman up, woman up

2131
01:40:34,009 --> 01:40:36,782
♪ Woman up, woman up

2132
01:40:37,835 --> 01:40:39,879
♪ Don't matter what you've been through

2133
01:40:39,910 --> 01:40:42,788
♪ Just make them remember you

2134
01:40:42,820 --> 01:40:44,853
♪ This one for all my girls

2135
01:40:44,884 --> 01:40:46,865
♪ My girls who woman up, woman up

2136
01:40:46,897 --> 01:40:48,919
♪ All my girls, raise your hand

2137
01:40:48,951 --> 01:40:51,808
♪ If you don't need a man

2138
01:40:51,839 --> 01:40:53,924
♪ Cos you're more than good enough

2139
01:40:53,956 --> 01:40:55,969
♪ You gotta woman up, woman up

2140
01:40:56,000 --> 01:40:57,950
♪ Don't matter what you've been through

2141
01:40:57,981 --> 01:41:00,880
♪ Just make them remember you

2142
01:41:00,912 --> 01:41:02,955
♪ This one for all my girls

2143
01:41:02,986 --> 01:41:05,009
♪ For girls who woman up, woman up