1
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,689
Not exactly what I was looking for.

2
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,162
Wait a minute, Bob.
This is not the only option we've got for you.

3
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:27,685
Phil.

4
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,809
Uh... (CLEARS THROAT) Yeah.

5
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,121
Why do it like that, in grey asparagus,

6
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:37,489
when you can do it completely differently
in hunter green?

7
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:39,561
Thank you for your time.

8
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:40,926
- Bob...
- MAN: Bob?

9
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,246
Have a seat.

10
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:47,321
Who's that?

11
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:51,200
It's Chris Meyers,
one of our brightest, young junior execs.

12
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,965
He's very, very bright.

13
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,690
You got 60 seconds.

14
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:03,044
Say hello to the Krayton koala.

15
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,566
He's soft, cuddly, absorbent.

16
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:09,087
I present to you
the new face of Krayton bath tissue.

17
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:10,366
Wow!

18
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:13,801
You got yourselves a client.

19
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:14,881
Yeah.

20
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,883
- Yes!
-(ALL CHEER)

21
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,923
- Unbelievable.
- He's a genius.

22
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,445
- Hate to admit it, buddy.
- Hey.

23
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,443
- But you really saved my ass.
- Ah!

24
00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,683
- You've got a big raise coming to you, pal.
- You better believe it, you cheap bastard.

25
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,127
- Let's go get me pregnant.
- Oh, sounds like a plan.

26
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,440
ALL: (CHANTING) Chris!

27
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,249
Thank you. Back to work. Back to work.

28
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:32,765
ALL: (CHANTING) Chris!
MAN: Chris!

29
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,604
It's all I ever wanted.

30
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,523
Chris. Chris!

31
00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:40,810
Hey, Phil. What's up?

32
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,326
What's up? It's crunch time, dude.

33
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,448
Krayton's coming in
for the redesign pitch today.

34
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,807
Need that bad boy ASA quick as possible.

35
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,327
Yeah, no, I got all the versions
you wanted done, exactly per your specs.

36
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,401
What's that one right there?

37
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,005
Oh, I actually...

38
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:59,051
I actually just did a design of my own, too.
Kind of was hoping to pitch Krayton.

39
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,770
Cool. Cool.

40
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,571
Why don't you let me take a look at it?
Maybe I can run it up to the big man.

41
00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:06,883
- Yeah, let us give the old look-see.
- That's a great idea, Troy.

42
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,726
I'm just... I'm actually...
I'm really psyched about this one.

43
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,202
And I was kind of hoping to
just take it to him myself.

44
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:18,410
Well, credit will be given where credit's due.
It's just that... Fuck.

45
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,562
Look at that girl, Troy.

46
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:22,966
_(SIGHS)
_(GRUNTS)

47
00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:24,280
PHIL: I tell you what.

48
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,724
Why don't you practice the pitch on me?

49
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,768
Let me hear it one time,
make sure it's in tip-top shape.

50
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:32,604
You don't wanna go in there
and pitch it to Krayton, look like an asshole.

51
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,208
Okay. I'm Krayton, you're you. Pitch me.

52
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:40,361
Well, get ready.

53
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:46,163
And razzle goes the dazzle.

54
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,169
Don't ever say that again.

55
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:52,086
I was trying to pick up the energy,
but I heard it coming out, and it felt wrong.

56
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:54,566
What's with the goblin?

57
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,005
Right there on the K.

58
00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,525
No. That's a koala bear.

59
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:00,840
Why is there a koala bear?

60
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,410
Troy brings up a good point.

61
00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,131
Well, I did a ton of research
into buying trends

62
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,089
for more intimate products like bath tissue.

63
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,128
Yeah. Chris...

64
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,521
(PHIL SIGHS-ls)

65
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,490
I hate to say this to you, buddy.

66
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:15,800
It's not that cuddly.

67
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:19,688
It's got black, soulless eyes.

68
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,047
- Like a demon's eyes.
- They are like a demon's eyes.

69
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,009
No, no, they're green. Demons' eyes are red.

70
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,366
I think you're missing the point.

71
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,681
You gotta imagine yourself
on the toilet, right?

72
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,650
You got your pants around your ankles,
and you just wanna do what?

73
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,803
All you really want
is to get the shit out of your butt.

74
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,723
You wanna relax.

75
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:40,010
You don't wanna have to worry about
anything, especially an Australian devil bear

76
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,731
coming up out of the toilet
and clawing at your nut sack.

77
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:46,407
Well, I think that might just be your own
very personal association with koala bears.

78
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:47,925
- Is it?
- No.

79
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,923
- No, that's the image I got, too, right away.
- You got it, too?

80
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,081
- Yeah.
- Troy got it.

81
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,049
I feel like you guys aren't letting this sink in.

82
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,723
It just sunk in. Here's the thing.
Gotta call an audible. Not gonna use this.

83
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,882
Let's go with the tried and true.
Should we vote?

84
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,722
Tried and true. All right.

85
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:03,801
Troy likes it.

86
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,167
I didn't know which way Troy was gonna go.
Thank you, Troy.

87
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,403
All right, just trying to look out for you,
homey G.

88
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:12,370
Let's go, Troy.

89
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,966
I mean, I don't care
if he's technically your superior.

90
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:19,804
You don't have to take that shit off him, man.

91
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,882
Well, technically, I do.
That's what superior means.

92
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,127
Ugh!

93
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,282
- Good morning, Chris.
- Hey.

94
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,486
Jared.

95
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,403
Are you sleeping with Brenda again?

96
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,687
No. Not presently.

97
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:38,003
But I just gotta tell you, man,
there is something about that girl.

98
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:41,766
She just unleashes something primal in me.

99
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:42,887
I know what you mean.

100
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,450
Hey. Hey!

101
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,842
What's up? (GIGGLES)

102
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,685
You ladies gossiping again
about all the hot guys in the office?

103
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,205
Uh, busted. Yeah.
Chris and I were just talking about

104
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,601
stripping down to our bra and panties
and having a little tickle fight.

105
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,808
If you're interested in joining,
maybe refereeing?

106
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,247
He's joking. We've never tickled each other.

107
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,045
We would never do that.

108
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,690
Right.

109
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,445
Um...

110
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,040
Anyway, I'm actually just here
on official HR business.

111
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,246
Just to remind you guys

112
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,290
about the big mystery meeting
in the conference room at 4:00 p.m.

113
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,442
- Hoo! Why all the secrecy?
- I don't know.

114
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:19,366
Crawford just says it's very important.
So just don't be late, okay?

115
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,204
Okay.

116
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,725
It's a date.

117
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:24,606
Hmm?

118
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,008
-(SIGHS)
- What is wrong with you?

119
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,686
I hate myself. I'm a horrible person.

120
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,889
You have a heart.
That's about all you have right now.

121
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,610
Hey, Brenda.

122
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,001
Just a reminder, we have
a 4:00 meeting in the conference room.

123
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,127
I remember.

124
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,850
Hey, did I show you
the newest addition to the fam?

125
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,081
No.

126
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,811
I'm calling him Sergeant Snuggles.

127
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:52,121
'Cause he's reporting for duty,
like, every day.

128
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,362
Aw! Brenda, I didn't know you liked rabbits.

129
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,568
Oh, yeah, right, Lisa.

130
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,291
(LAUGHS)

131
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,491
Did I ever show you this one?

132
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,403
- Oh, is that you?
- Yes.

133
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:06,166
And that there is Mr Bumbles.
He was my favourite.

134
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,050
When I was eight, I wanted to marry him.

135
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,521
But society would never allow that.

136
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,367
Well, you never know.

137
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:18,366
No.

138
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,570
Chris, why aren't you at the pitch?

139
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:26,884
- Phil said Krayton's not coming until 3:00.
- No, it's on the books for 2:15.

140
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,406
- What?
- Yeah. They're all in the conference room.

141
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:30,891
Aw!

142
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,563
In the wild, koala bears
don't need to wipe their bottom.

143
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:41,770
But if they did,
they would ask Koala Phil how to do it.

144
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,047
-(ALL APPLAUDING)
- I like it! I like it!

145
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,210
Thank you.

146
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:50,850
Thanks very much.

147
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,490
Thanks, everybody.

148
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,486
Gosh!

149
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,404
How can he just so blatantly
steal my work like that?

150
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,482
"Koala Phil"? It's not even alliterative.

151
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,562
Yeah. That's the real tragedy.

152
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:05,165
You know, he's just gonna homogenise it,

153
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,811
and in the end,
it's gonna look like every other koala.

154
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,008
All right. You know what?
Let's take care of Phil once and for all.

155
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,809
Call my buddy Regg.
He's an Algonquin Indian.

156
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,087
We tell him there's a white guy
fucking up shit for you and your land.

157
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,208
- He'll take care of it. 40 bucks.
- You know what I'm gonna do?

158
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,248
I'm gonna march right into
Mr Crawford's office.

159
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,401
I'm gonna march right in.

160
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,482
I'm gonna tell him exactly what Phil did,
just lay it right out.

161
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,369
You do it. You do it. Right this wrong.

162
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,844
We shall overcome!

163
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,968
- Where do you think you're going?
- I need to speak to him.

164
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:31,041
He's in a meeting.

165
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,121
Can you please open the door?

166
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,440
Absolutely not.

167
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:37,002
- Sounds like I'll make us a tee time, then.
- Bring your wallet, bitch.

168
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,889
(CHUCKLES) I'm not a bitch.

169
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,883
- LISA: Um, Mr Crawford?
- Yes?

170
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:42,200
Chris wants a word with you.

171
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:53,327
Now, Chris,
I believe you believe Koala Phil is your idea.

172
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,210
But sometimes, a person can think that
they came up with something

173
00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,089
when it actually came from somewhere else.

174
00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,049
Mr Crawford, that is not
what happened here. I...

175
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,726
Now this sort of thing happens all the time.

176
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:07,010
For 25 years,
I was convinced that I invented the BLT.

177
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,447
The bacon-lettuce-and-tomato sandwich?

178
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,409
Absolutely positive.

179
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:12,811
I'd brag to women about it.

180
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,723
I tried to convince my friends.

181
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:18,122
Well, turns out
it dates back to the 19th century.

182
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:22,285
I must've been exposed to it
when I was a child, and forgotten.

183
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,203
The brain, you know.

184
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,009
So let's just let this one go, okay?

185
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,287
Mr Crawford, Phil stole my work.

186
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,124
Why do you think

187
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,761
I was given the Martin P. Shulman Award
for Excellence in Business?

188
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:38,606
For beating my meat
in some goddamn jerk-off competition?

189
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,842
It would be a very misleading name
if that were the case.

190
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,766
Not that I couldn't hold my own
in a competition like that.

191
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,330
I could.

192
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,609
I'd be able to perform, no problem.

193
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:50,806
I'm sure.

194
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:51,927
No.

195
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:56,929
I got this award because I know a thing
or two about what I'm doing, God damn it.

196
00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:02,040
And what I want from you, son, is for you
to stop trying to sabotage Phil Trager.

197
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,447
And start trying to emulate him.

198
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,841
Prove to me

199
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:11,447
that you deserve a place
here on the Crawford team.

200
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,329
Go. Go get 'em.

201
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,724
I did you a favour, bud.

202
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,849
You would've blown that pitch.
Now the koala lives on.

203
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,241
You had no right to do that.
You had no right.

204
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,800
Chris, what is with the selfish behaviour?

205
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,646
The ideas within these walls are our ideas.
We're a family.

206
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:30,846
Yeah.

207
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:35,050
Oh, by the way, if you ever tattletale on me
again, things are gonna get ugly.

208
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,327
Real F-ing ugly

209
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:12,320
My entire adult life
has been spent in packaging design.

210
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:17,770
I've come into this office every day
at 7:00 sharp for the last 27 years.

211
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,524
And that could be any one of you.

212
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,490
Even you back there with the squidgy face.

213
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:26,325
If you can show the teamwork and leadership

214
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,768
necessary to succeed
in this tough economic climate.

215
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,888
But, frankly,
I haven't seen much of that from any of you.

216
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,284
Except, of course, for Phil.

217
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,203
Come on, boss. It's a team sport.

218
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,522
That's why, tomorrow, I'm sending all of you

219
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:43,889
on a mandatory two-day, two-night
teamwork leadership wilderness retreat.

220
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:44,961
What?

221
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,931
Now, I will not be able to
accompany you on this excursion.

222
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,001
But I turn it over to a man who will.

223
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,320
MAN: Thank you.

224
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,201
My name is Storm.

225
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,123
Storm Rothchild.

226
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,041
I'm a certified teamwork instructor.

227
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,122
Now, I know what you're thinking.

228
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:16,163
"This guy teaches about business?
We went to Harvard University." Whatever.

229
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:20,848
Well, I'm here to tell you,
I went to my own school,

230
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,287
the school of the hard knocks.

231
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,291
I also took some classes at DeVry once.

232
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:28,805
Mostly web design.

233
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:32,885
But then some stuff came up.
You know, some personal stuff.

234
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,525
(SNORTS)

235
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,366
Am I interrupting you?

236
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,681
No. No.

237
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,000
Can I see that, please?

238
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:48,687
Yeah, I... It's not something... It's not...
I just...

239
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,611
Sorry about that.

240
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,808
You must have big rocks between your legs.

241
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,644
I... No.

242
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,370
You think you can stare me down, boy?

243
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,363
Stare you down?

244
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,523
No, I mean, you're just talking.
I'm just listening.

245
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,525
- Shh!
- And I was... Okay. I'm not staring you down.

246
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,127
Strike one.

247
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:13,646
Oh, shit.

248
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,405
STORM: I'm a military man.

249
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,482
Navy SEAL, Special Forces, you name it.

250
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:20,881
I've seen men die.

251
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,405
I've made men cry.

252
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:29,131
I will offer you the most intense
wilderness experience allowed by law.

253
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,565
We'll fly off to an island

254
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:37,521
where it will be you and me versus nature.

255
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:41,323
I will teach you negotiation.

256
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,200
Teamwork.

257
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:46,721
Leadership.

258
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:53,123
And if we're not too careful,
we may have a little fun.

259
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,807
I will see you at 0600.

260
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,166
Dismissed.

261
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,241
Oh! Hang on.

262
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:05,247
We're gonna have a little soiree in honour of
Phil and the Krayton deal at McCabe's.

263
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,321
Drinks are on the company.

264
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,883
- Great!
- Yes!

265
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:11,731
I don't know.

266
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,010
Teamwork.

267
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:16,844
Mortal Kombat is more like it.

268
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,161
Relax, Dale.
It's just a silly team-building exercise.

269
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,210
Word has it, there are some major cutbacks
coming down the pike.

270
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,489
How you perform on this trip
determines your future with this company.

271
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:26,641
(SCOFFS)

272
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:27,846
If I were you, I'd really watch out.

273
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,045
Trying to steal Phil's thunder and all.

274
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,646
Yeah, all right, Dale.
We're just trying to have a good time.

275
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,525
I'm having a good time.

276
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,686
I wouldn't count on
these drinks being for free.

277
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,045
That is a dark human being.

278
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,851
Just one more, and then cut me off, please.
Thank you.

279
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:46,846
- Hey. guys-
.Hey.

280
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,365
You ready for this big nature trip?

281
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:51,649
Oh, I am shitting myself in anticipation.

282
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,403
I'm not much of a camper,
but it could be fun, right?

283
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:59,326
I'm not much of a camper either.
But luckily for us, Chris is.

284
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,289
In fact, this man was an Eagle Scout
when he was, like, 25.

285
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,601
That's not true. I was 19. Then I cut it off.

286
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,569
They even made him a scoutmaster.

287
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:07,881
And he was taking boys out in the woods
and stuff.

288
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,041
Well, it's really... I'd sound so...

289
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,122
- I'd stop talking about it.
- Why don't you stop the humility act?

290
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,645
'Cause he also won the Silver Badger,

291
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,802
which is, like, the highest award
that the Boy Scouts give out.

292
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,245
- So, we're in good hands.
- Beaver. It's the Beaver.

293
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,765
Cool. Excuse me?

294
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,684
It's the Silver Beaver. Minor distinction.

295
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,289
Silver Beaver?

296
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:26,850
That's a terrible name.

297
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,649
I'm sorry.

298
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,529
If I knew that was the name,
I would not have brought it up.

299
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,321
Thanks so much.

300
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,649
Well, it'll be really good
to have you out there, Silver Beaver.

301
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,331
Oh, I'm sorry.

302
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:49,242
I can't believe I have to spend a weekend
on an island with Phil.

303
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,529
You gotta relax, man. Guy's not worth it.

304
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,762
Don't do that.
I don't wanna show up smelling like pot.

305
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,525
Well, you shouldn't have picked me up, then.

306
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:58,721
(sums)

307
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:01,326
You know he spends 200 bucks a month
on Internet porn?

308
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,768
And it's all Filipino anal brutality.

309
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:07,810
- How do you know that?
- I can access everyone's email account.

310
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,410
What am I supposed to do, not read it?

311
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:12,361
No.

312
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,010
Come on. Let's go. We're late.

313
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,084
(EXHALES LOUDLY)

314
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,407
STORM: Come on! Let's move, people!

315
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,962
This is a cargo plane.

316
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,122
- Yup.
- I'm not getting on that.

317
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,043
Come on, guys. You can't live forever.

318
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,963
I agree with you, Lisa.

319
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,647
Jesus. Get a load of the pilot.

320
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:07,365
We're all gonna die.

321
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,283
(PLANE RATTLING)

322
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:26,931
You Okay?

323
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,849
It's gonna be good. We're gonna be all right.

324
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,604
(ALL GROAN)

325
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:50,205
The bird has landed.

326
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:52,001
(EXHALES)

327
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,241
Welcome to Big Mama Nature's house.

328
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,529
It's just us and the jungle now.

329
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,729
- It's so humid. I'm pitting out.
- Where are we?

330
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,086
I have no idea.

331
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:07,961
Hey, just remember I'm in charge here.

332
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,850
- I think we got off on the wrong foot.
-(SNIFFS) Is that...

333
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,966
Am I smelling marijuana?

334
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,327
No.

335
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,448
You've been night-riding on my watch, boy?

336
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,602
Night-riding? No, sir. No, sir.

337
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,967
Is that your goal in life?
To get on top of my shit list?

338
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:30,329
Mr Storm, I swear I was not night-riding.
I wouldn't do that.

339
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:35,166
Watch yourself, Kumar,
because I've got my eye on you.

340
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:36,761
Okay.

341
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:44,127
Sorry, amigo.
But this is so much better stoned.

342
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,690
You're a dick.

343
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,326
PHIL: Psst!

344
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,329
Psst! Chris! Come here.

345
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,491
Come here, I gotta talk to you.

346
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,327
- Hey!
- What?

347
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,765
- I need your help. Come here.
- What are you doing?

348
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:58,002
Dude, I know you're pissed at me,
but we need to work as a team.

349
00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,605
I need your binoculars.

350
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,164
Get down. Get down.

351
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,164
This is important.
This is a business meeting.

352
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:09,643
Oh, my God. Look at Traci's breasts.

353
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,484
I mean, is she pregnant, or what?
Those are huge.

354
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:12,561
Just give me the binoculars.

355
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,723
Chris, please, okay?
These are our co-workers. We deserve this.

356
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,602
-(SIGHS)
- Oh, yes, Ashley.

357
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,251
Yeah, feel those things.

358
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,402
There's a mammogram going on over there.

359
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:24,686
- You know, I'm not comfortable lurking here.
- Shh!

360
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,171
- Those are my binoculars.
- I'm not comfortable either.

361
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,526
What if one of us pops a boner?

362
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,891
Oh! And look who it is now.

363
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:35,329
It's little Jenny Wong,
the Kung Fu Panda, 'cause she's Asian.

364
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,767
- That's so racist.
- You know, just once,

365
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,241
I would like to eat a fortune cookie
out of Jenny Wong's butthole.

366
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:41,651
Jesus! Out of her butthole?

367
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,927
It's not sanitary,
but it'd be a hell of a good time.

368
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,001
That's debatable.

369
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,206
PHIL: Oh, boy.

370
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,966
And here comes the biggest slut of 'em all.
Here comes Lisa. (CHUCKLES)

371
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,808
I don't know if you noticed on the plane.
We had a little moment.

372
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,041
- Okay, I'll take them. Let me take them.
- Chris!

373
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:55,929
- Give them back to me, Chris.
- You're not gonna look.

374
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,604
- Chris, they're... I just wanna borrow 'em.
- No! Let me...

375
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:58,841
Just for a...

376
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,285
LISA: Hey, Chris.

377
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,090
Hey,guys.

378
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,411
What are you doing back there?

379
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:10,811
I just saw a blue-crowned motmot.

380
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,042
- Gonna take a closer look.
- A what?

381
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:16,283
It's a bird. Rare one.
Really very, very cool stuff.

382
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,321
Oh, hey, it looks like we're heading out.

383
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,441
Yeah. What a psycho.

384
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:55,442
Don't push me, man. Don't fucking push me.
Don't push me.

385
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:05,970
Well, I guess chivalry's dead!

386
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,327
I thought we weren't speaking.
I can't carry your bag, then.

387
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,482
- We are not speaking!
- Oh, then what are we doing now?

388
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,324
(IMITATING) Oh, what are we doing now?

389
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,243
That's how I talk? That's how I talk?

390
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,803
My friends, welcome to our new home.

391
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,326
- Ah! It's beautiful.
- It's all right.

392
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,127
This might not be so bad, huh?

393
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,890
(CHUCKLES)

394
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,049
Look at this place!

395
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,243
I'm holding the talking stick.

396
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,084
(SCREAMS)

397
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:43,726
Talking stick attack?

398
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,131
I'm watching you, huh?

399
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,883
Being here reminds me of a famous story

400
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:53,885
about some young boys
being stuck in an island.

401
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,962
Before long, they turn into animals.

402
00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:00,850
And from there,
everything goes straight to hell.

403
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:04,208
And do you know
which story I'm talking about?

404
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,442
Right, right, right.

405
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:07,646
<i>Pinocchio.</i>

406
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:11,247
And the island was Pleasure Island.

407
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:15,442
They spend all day
eating candy, playing pool.

408
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,682
And they turn into donkeys.

409
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:19,765
And then I don't remember.

410
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,923
I haven't seen it for a long time.

411
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,240
The whale was involved.

412
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,961
Anyway, this will not be happening here.

413
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,450
The next two days,
you will be pushed to your limit!

414
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:37,804
Are you ready
to look at the devil in the eyes?

415
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:40,527
Good.

416
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,245
Good night.

417
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:45,805
I hold the stick.

418
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,360
I hold the talking stick.

419
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:50,811
(SCREAMS)

420
00:22:54,840 --> 00:23:00,449
We are going to let out the primal scream
to unleash the warrior inside us.

421
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:02,204
Miss Brenda.

422
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,330
(SCREAMS)

423
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,411
Good.

424
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:09,851
(SCREAMS)

425
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:11,127
Not bad.

426
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,089
(SCREAMS)

427
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:15,766
You have issues.

428
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:16,966
Chris.

429
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,570
(SCREAMS MILDLY)

430
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,130
Hey, come here.

431
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:25,600
I'm not really a screamer.

432
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:29,810
Scream like I'm squeezing into your balls.

433
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,481
- You're laughing at me, boy?
- No.

434
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,683
(SCREAMS)

435
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:41,084
Scream like I am squeezing into your balls!

436
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,049
(SCREAMS)

437
00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:46,486
- Better?
Disappointing.

438
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:47,561
Go!

439
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:48,687
Next.

440
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,000
(SCREAMS)

441
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:52,771
(SCREAMS)

442
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:58,809
My father used to make pancakes in the
morning, but I was not allowed to eat any!

443
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,645
Why?

444
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:06,368
Not every Asian kid
needs to learn how to play the violin, Mom!

445
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:10,286
I wanted to learn how to play baseball!

446
00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:11,600
(CRYING)

447
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,484
Troy. Excellent.

448
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:19,281
Excellent.

449
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,646
You must trust your partner
to get you safely through the trees,

450
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,520
and you must trust yourself
to guide your partner.

451
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,001
Yeah, shouldn't one of us
not be blindfolded?

452
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,811
- That's my hat, sir.
- It's my hat now.

453
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:42,927
What?

454
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,001
Go!

455
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,321
- Hold on. I can't see anything!
-(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

456
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:51,801
Tree.

457
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,167
- Troy, you're slowing us down!
- Sorry!

458
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:00,242
- This is a lawsuit, man!
- Tell that to the tiger!

459
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,008
(TIGER ROARS PLAYING ON STEREO)

460
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,401
WOMAN: Oh, my God!

461
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:05,966
Oh. my God!

462
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:07,884
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

463
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,721
Guys, you guys, you guys, there's no tiger.

464
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:16,246
Guys, there's no tiger!
There's no tiger. False alarm.

465
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:17,560
It's BS.

466
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,483
- Stop freaking out...
-(EXPLOSION)

467
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,642
Oh, my God! Did that lunatic set explosives?

468
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,085
(ALL SCREAMING)

469
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:26,323
I'd say that's a yes. Move! Move, man, move!

470
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,568
Inside, outside, inside outside.

471
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:36,847
STORM: Come on, people!

472
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,287
It's not a game! It's a war!

473
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,324
(GRUNTING LOUDLY)

474
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,090
We have a winner.

475
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,085
(INAUDIBLE)

476
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,326
Oh!

477
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:37,640
Oh. my God!

478
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,485
I'm so sorry.
I didn't see you lying there like that.

479
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,005
On the ground.

480
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,962
Completely motionless.

481
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,843
Quite possibly dead.

482
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,363
- Chris, are you sure he's dead?
- Very dead. That much I'm sure.

483
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,646
How the fuck are we gonna get out of here?

484
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,131
People, people, please.

485
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,964
Let's don't lose our mind.

486
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,520
How are we gonna get home, Storm?
Our pilot's dead.

487
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,481
Worst come to worst,
I will fly you out of here.

488
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:06,891
You know how to fly?

489
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,041
(CHUCKLES) Please.

490
00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:10,282
Storm, I swear to God I saw a fricking tiger.

491
00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:11,407
- What?
- What?

492
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:12,686
- Tiger.
- Yeah.

493
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:13,761
I saw it, too.

494
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,207
It was, like, 10 feet from Dale's tent.
It ran towards the cliff.

495
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:17,725
- Guys, guys, guys.
-(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

496
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,610
- Storm...
- Don't let your imagination run wild.

497
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:25,166
But just to make you feel better,
let's go to see that tiger.

498
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,881
Why are we going to look at the tiger?
Let's go the other way.

499
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:30,644
It makes zero sense.

500
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,166
You see?

501
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:41,850
There is no tiger.

502
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:46,367
What are the chances of
a dangerous animal in this island?

503
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:48,770
Zero. Okay?

504
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,610
- So just calm...
-(ROARS)

505
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,165
(ALL EXCLAIM IN SHOCK)

506
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,927
Holy shit!

507
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:03,966
Nobody move.

508
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,491
- No, no, no, no.
- The beast is a gentle spirit.

509
00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:10,646
He's scared.

510
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,605
Be not afraid, my noble jungle brother.

511
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,767
Your brother means no harm.

512
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:18,604
-(ROARS)
-(ALL EXCLAIM IN SHOCK)

513
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:19,681
Help!

514
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,091
Quickly!

515
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,447
Stick a finger into the tiger's anus.

516
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,330
- What?
- Stick your finger into the tiger's anus!

517
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,880
Why in the hell would he want us to
put a finger in his asshole?

518
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:30,644
It's how you subdue an attacking dog!

519
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:33,762
- Troy, that's you. Get in there and do that.
- No, I don't want to!

520
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:35,524
- Troy, you have to!
- I don't wanna do it!

521
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:44,566
It's okay, everyone.

522
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:46,081
It's over.

523
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,405
He won't come back.

524
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,289
-(ROARS)
-(SCREAMS)

525
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:52,361
ALL: Whoa!

526
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,249
(WATER SPLASHES)

527
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,361
-(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
-(CRYING)

528
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:21,967
First, the pilot dies.

529
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:23,804
- Then the European dude dies.
- TROY: No one's looking for us.

530
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:24,881
We're gonna die, then.

531
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,042
We're stuck with no way off.

532
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:28,884
- We're stuck with no way off.
- I know that!

533
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,646
- It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be fine, hon.
-(SOBBING)

534
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,200
- You think so?
- Do I think so?

535
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,128
Does Bugs Bunny like carrots?

536
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:39,930
Yeah.

537
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,561
He likes 'em a lot. (CHUCKLES)
Likes 'em a lot.

538
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,407
- LISA: I think if you just move past this fear...
- Right?

539
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:49,289
-...you can reach inside you.
- Yeah.

540
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:50,691
Find what it takes to get out of here.

541
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:51,761
How's everybody doing?

542
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:55,686
- Oh, we're great, Phil, thanks. (CRYING)
- Yeah. We're fine, Phil.

543
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:58,362
Lisa, can I talk to you for a second,
in private?

544
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:01,370
Just really need to talk.

545
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,249
All right.

546
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:07,006
- You gonna make it, hon?
- Oh, yeah. Thank you so much, Lisa.

547
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,287
- What's up?
- Let's go over here.

548
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,202
She's real fucked up, huh?

549
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:13,645
Have a seat.

550
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,569
What's going on, Phil?

551
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,562
How are you holding up?

552
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,688
Great. Thanks for asking, Phil.

553
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,205
Did you bring a bathing suit?

554
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:25,007
Yeah.

555
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:26,730
You go bikini, or...

556
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,804
Doesn't matter.
We're not gonna swim leisurely right now.

557
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,360
No. Yeah. I mean, it's not a vacation.

558
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,408
What do you need?

559
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,689
Well, I was thinking, you know,

560
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:43,084
every woman,
no matter how strong she thinks she is,

561
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:44,889
she wants some comfort from a man.

562
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,289
And, Lisa,
I thought I could be that man for you.

563
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,282
Because here's the thing.

564
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:54,926
- Lisa...
- Mmm-hmm.

565
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,081
I've fallen for you.

566
00:30:58,120 --> 00:30:59,451
- Okay.
- I've fallen real hard.

567
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:00,885
Okay! Phil!

568
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,088
You realise we're in a crisis right now, right?

569
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:07,643
Skeeze out on your own time, man.
There's something seriously wrong with you.

570
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,726
You don't have to be a bitch about it.

571
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:20,208
No dice. It's busted.
Old timer probably wasn't even using it.

572
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:22,442
- Damn it! Are you sure?
- Yeah.

573
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:24,522
I used to do ham radio
on the weekends with my dad.

574
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,602
It was like child abuse without the touching.

575
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:27,681
Oh, my God.

576
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,767
I'm sure somebody's coming for us.

577
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:35,401
Nobody knows where we are,
and there's a tiger killing people!

578
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,164
And there could be more tigers!

579
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:42,485
And who knows who they're gonna kill next?
It could be you, or you, or you!

580
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:43,607
Any one of us!

581
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,889
You guys, no one knows we're here!

582
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:50,442
We are totally fucked! We are fucked!

583
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,364
He's right. He's right, you guys.
We're gonna die!

584
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,563
(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

585
00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,809
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down, you guys.

586
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,723
Come on. Come on. We gotta stay calm.

587
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:06,041
But there is one person
that can keep us safe, and that's me.

588
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,280
Now, as the highest ranking executive
from the Crawford Design Group,

589
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,567
- I am now officially in charge.
-(HISSES)

590
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:15,849
- So, if you all do exactly as I say...
-(SCREAMS)

591
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:16,921
What happened?

592
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:18,525
She got bit by a snake!

593
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,887
- Go get my machete.
- CHRIS: Brenda, let me see.

594
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,725
- Man, it hurts! It hurts!
- Okay. I know. Let me see. Ow!

595
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:26,164
Okay, everybody, get back.
This isn't gonna be pretty.

596
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:27,241
Do it, Troy, right at the knee.

597
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:28,401
- What?
- No.

598
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,244
- Me?
- Yes, you! Do it now!

599
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:31,401
(SCREAMS)

600
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,563
No! Hey! Hang on!
Nobody's cutting anyone's leg off.

601
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,130
Listen, Brenda, just take a deep breath,

602
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,487
and describe to me
exactly what the snake looked like.

603
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,723
It was big,
and it had black swirls and dots on it.

604
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,768
You're wasting time. The venom's spreading.

605
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,001
- Do it now!
-(SCREAMS)

606
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,684
Hey! Wait, no, listen.

607
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,888
She's describing a Python regius.
It's not poisonous.

608
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:49,961
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

609
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:52,691
- I saw one of those on the way in here.
- Thank God.

610
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:53,886
(GROANS) It really hurts!

611
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,725
All right, well, then, I'm gonna piss on it.
It's the only way to help the pain.

612
00:32:56,800 --> 00:33:00,407
Whoa, whoa, no.
That's for a jellyfish sting. Knock it off.

613
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,289
I got Storm's first aid kit.

614
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:05,523
- CHRIS: Okay. Okay, what have we got?
- It's all just Dave Matthews bootlegs.

615
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,490
Okay, we're gonna improvise.

616
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:09,766
I'm really happy to piss on it, Brenda.

617
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,604
(SOBBING) No, Phil.

618
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:14,485
Okay.

619
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:15,686
What is that?

620
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,847
It's woundwort.
It should help with the pain a bit.

621
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,127
Yeah, that's gross, Chris.
And it's not gonna work.

622
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:22,486
It's working. It feels better.

623
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,882
Good. Good. It should prevent any infection.
You'll heal soon.

624
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,770
- You wanna try and stand?
- Come on.

625
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:29,966
MAN: Okay, I'm impressed.

626
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:33,647
Okay. Okay. You're gonna be okay.

627
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:34,801
Thank you.

628
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,530
Did you learn that in the Scouts?

629
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:37,840
You know, I picked up a thing or two.

630
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,287
Can you teach us
how to do that kind of stuff?

631
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,966
Yeah. Yeah, sure. Okay.
But, listen, you guys,

632
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:47,329
the first rule of survival is, no matter
what the situation, you cannot panic, okay?

633
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:48,686
Maybe you should be in charge, then.

634
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,683
Hey, wait a second. Let's not go crazy.

635
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,081
- Yeah, I don't... We don't have to have...
- No, no, no.

636
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,811
Who here thinks Chris should be in charge?

637
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:59,202
- Okay, who thinks Phil should be in charge?
- Here we go.

638
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:00,964
Chris, Chris...

639
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,246
ALL: (CHANTING) Chris. Chris.

640
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:03,890
Chris. Chris. Chris.

641
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,042
Okay. Okay. Okay. I...

642
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:07,565
Chris. Chris. Chris.

643
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,007
- Are you sure? Are you sure about this?
- Absolutely.

644
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,203
(ALL WHOOP)

645
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:17,530
All right. I got a few ideas. Uh, yeah.

646
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,445
Yeah, I think this could work.

647
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:37,961
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

648
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:49,246
That's it. Keep feeding that fire.

649
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,482
Gotta get a thick, black smoke
going for the signal.

650
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:53,562
Yo, yo, Chris. Can I talk to you for a second?

651
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:55,085
Sure, Phil.What's up?

652
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,486
Are you sure you're up for this
being in charge business?

653
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:00,641
I think so. Why?

654
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,009
You think so.

655
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,765
Well, being a leader is tough.
You've seen me at the office.

656
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:07,410
You know how that can get.

657
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,687
Frankly, I'm not sure you can handle it.

658
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:11,762
What are you talking about?

659
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,884
Come on, man. Like it isn't totally obvious?

660
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:19,488
Eventually, someone's gonna have to decide
which of us gets eaten first.

661
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:20,607
What?

662
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,364
Javier is the fattest.

663
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,524
So he deserves to die.

664
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,682
I'm sorry if that's not PC.

665
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,161
Phil, we have enough nuts stored up
to feed an army.

666
00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:30,765
I don't like nuts!

667
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,127
- And Javier would feed a lot of people.
- All right.

668
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,248
Phil, can you knock it off, please?
Chris is in charge.

669
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,845
We're all on board with this, right?

670
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,002
- Yes.
- Yeah, I think we're good, Phil.

671
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:41,807
Fine.

672
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,088
You wanna follow Pocahontas?

673
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:46,650
Don't blame me.

674
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:49,165
What's up, Javier?

675
00:35:49,240 --> 00:35:50,526
Hey.

676
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,250
All right, people.

677
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,891
Let's get back to work.
We've got a big day ahead of us.

678
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,007
What happened to everybody?
They were all doing so well.

679
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,287
I don't know.
It's just like at the office, you know?

680
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,249
They're good to work for a little while,
then it's nappy time.

681
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:24,931
- Javier?
- Javi?

682
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,570
Hey, buddy.

683
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,563
Weren't you supposed to
be on food gathering detail?

684
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:32,009
Oh, go away. Sleepy.

685
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:33,361
(SCOFFS)

686
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:38,089
Okay, everybody.
We really gotta kick it into high gear. Ugh!

687
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:39,969
Come on, guys!

688
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:41,883
I don't know
how many times I have to say this.

689
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:46,124
When you go number two, you've gotta go
at least 50 yards from the campsite, all right?

690
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,726
I'm not trying to be a buzzkill,
but it's a major health hazard.

691
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,690
Hey, man. Nobody's on food detail,
and whoever's on tiger watch took off.

692
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,250
You gotta step up and take charge, man.

693
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:54,685
These people
are just gonna keep slap-dicking around.

694
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,171
Okay. Okay, Jared. I'm on it.

695
00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:57,480
- All right, buddy. Let's go.
- Okay.

696
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:00,484
Hey, everybody! Look over here.

697
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:05,088
Thought you'd all want something to eat
besides nuts.

698
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,447
- Behold!
- We bring meat!

699
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:10,967
Ugh!

700
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:12,690
I killed it with my own bare hands.

701
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:14,091
- Isn't that right, Troy?
- Yes!

702
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:15,207
Meat!

703
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,408
That looks like
it's been dead at least two weeks.

704
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:18,811
And that's not all.

705
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:24,682
Oh, no. Is that coffee?

706
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,047
- You bet your fat ass it is.
- Hey!

707
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,522
I found the plants just over that ridge.
There's enough for all of us.

708
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,728
Oh, God. Tastes so good.

709
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,531
Okay, okay, you guys.
I don't know about the coffee yet,

710
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,843
but I can tell you for sure
that that meat is not safe to consume.

711
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,207
I'm afraid that's not your decision, Chris.

712
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:44,727
And I invite all of you to share in my bounty.

713
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:48,808
- Oh, God. That looks so delicious.
- I wouldn't do it. I strongly...

714
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:50,006
Luther. Hey, Dale. Don't. The meat's no good.

715
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,560
- Ashley.
- I advise against this.

716
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,131
(CHUCKLES)

717
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:55,761
Yeah!

718
00:37:56,520 --> 00:38:01,890
He put up a real fight, but I snuck up
behind him and snapped his neck.

719
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:05,290
It's the least I could do.

720
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:07,488
- We're a family now.
- Yeah. We are.

721
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:08,800
MAN: Right, man.

722
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,804
- Try it.
- No, thanks. I'm good. Thank you.

723
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:26,887
Look, I understand that we're not at the
office and everyone's under a lot of stress.

724
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:31,682
But I just feel that some of the language
that I've been hearing tossed around lately

725
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,569
is offensive to some people.

726
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:36,044
I've heard M Fer.

727
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,088
I've heard CSer.

728
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:42,688
I've heard A-hole, BJ, F this F-ing S.

729
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:44,808
Check out that B's T's.

730
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:48,566
Slip it in her C-hole. F it in the fudge shop.

731
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:52,281
S on that donkey D, you dirty F-ing S-bag,

732
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:56,126
then L up that V-juice and spit it in my A.

733
00:38:56,200 --> 00:39:00,489
Then H it till it's sore
with your S-covered P-pounder.

734
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:02,005
Also I've heard...

735
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:03,844
Who gives a shit?

736
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:05,888
Hey, it's Brenda's turn to speak.
She can say whatever she wants.

737
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,611
You know the rules. I have the talking stick.

738
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:12,683
Screw the rules!

739
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,171
Phil, enough.

740
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,921
Yeah, Brenda. Screw your rules!

741
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,241
I'm holding the talking stick.

742
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:23,609
Stick means nothing!

743
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,889
Come on. Sit down.

744
00:39:27,720 --> 00:39:28,721
- PHIL: No.
-(THUDDING)

745
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:30,891
I won't sit down.

746
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:37,169
Because I am so sick of your rules!

747
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:39,086
So's everybody else.

748
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,323
Come on, Dale. Stand up.
Come on, you guys.

749
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,687
Why should we listen to you?

750
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:46,683
- Everybody knows...
- WOMAN: Stand up.

751
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:48,524
...I should be leader.

752
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,370
This isn't helping, Phil. Okay?
Come on. We're all in this together.

753
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:53,561
(PHIL LAUGHS)

754
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:57,565
You just wanna be able to
tell everybody what to do.

755
00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,120
"Watch the signal fire.

756
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:01,611
"Let's ration the food!

757
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,247
"Don't shit in other people's tents"?

758
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:06,685
- That's obvious.
- Yeah.

759
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:09,286
<i>- I'll</i> shit where I want.
- Damn right, Troy.

760
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,010
- Look at Chris, everyone.
-(ALL GRUNTING)

761
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:16,610
How can he protect you
from the dangers of the jungle

762
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,286
when he won't even stand up to me now?

763
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:20,725
Will you?

764
00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:22,571
Huh?

765
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,490
Will you, Chris?

766
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:27,086
In front of all these people?

767
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:28,491
You gonna stand up to me?

768
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:31,882
- You never have before.
- Phil, I'm not gonna fight you.

769
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,962
Order! The stick!

770
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,287
No, he's not gonna do anything
in front of all these people.

771
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:37,771
- What is wrong with you? Stop!
-(THUDDING INTENSIFIES)

772
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:39,285
Come on, guys. Order.

773
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:40,407
He's not a leader.

774
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:41,720
He's a follower.

775
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,131
So get out of my way!

776
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:44,406
Come on, Phil.

777
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,364
(ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

778
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,644
Who would deny me,
the one who has brought you meat?

779
00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:51,290
- Order!
-(ALL GRUNTING FRANTICALLY)

780
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:52,930
Order!

781
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:55,046
Chaos!

782
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,364
(ALL SCREAMING)

783
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,607
Troy put this in the coffee.

784
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,724
This is Jimsonweed.

785
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,370
It's hallucinogenic.

786
00:41:36,240 --> 00:41:37,924
Oh, this is bad.

787
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:12,964
(HOWLING)

788
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:28,884
(VOMITS)

789
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:52,447
(sums)

790
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:54,808
That was some party.

791
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:56,564
I gotta say, Troy,
I've never seen your penis before.

792
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,244
- You've got a nice one.
- Thanks.

793
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:00,129
The signal fire's out.

794
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:01,441
So?

795
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:03,884
That's our only chance
of getting off this island.

796
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,770
What if a boat or a plane came by?
We can't be stupid right now.

797
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:07,966
(INHALES SHARPLY)

798
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:11,408
Chris, I would watch your tone with me.
I'm the chief.

799
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,403
Yeah, I'm sure
you're gonna make some great chief,

800
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,767
just eating, laying around all day,
having orgies every night.

801
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:16,887
Hey, that's not fair.

802
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:18,291
No? Well, what are you gonna do tonight?

803
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:20,567
I don't know. Probably have another orgy.

804
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:21,687
Okay. This is ridiculous.

805
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,969
You guys, we are never gonna
get off the island like this, okay?

806
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:26,644
We're behaving like children.

807
00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:28,609
Hey!

808
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,923
You don't like the way we do things,
go start your own tribe, then.

809
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:34,687
Fine.

810
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:37,081
Fine, Phil, I will.
I'm gonna hike to the other side of the island.

811
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:38,366
See what's over there. You know what?

812
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:42,240
Anyone who wants to get serious about
getting off this island, you come with me.

813
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:43,367
And the rest of you,

814
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:48,731
you can just keep eating and drinking,
just having unprotected sex all the time.

815
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:49,847
Okay.

816
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:53,322
I don't think he gave the greatest pitch
in the world, but I'm with him.

817
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:54,447
Thank you, brother.

818
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:57,729
- I'm also with Chris, but I am not with Jared.
- Okay, okay.

819
00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:58,801
This is crazy.

820
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:02,248
I think the only chance we have of getting
off this island is if we all work together.

821
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:05,403
Sol really think that maybe if we try
just a little active listening...

822
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:07,448
Active listening?

823
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:09,001
Lisa?

824
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:10,889
Enough of your witchcraft!

825
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:15,010
Phil, you are battling
some serious mental issues right now.

826
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:18,448
Lisa, I think you're battling
some serious cock-teasing issues.

827
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:20,010
- Ooh!
- That is harassment.

828
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,208
I am reporting you
as soon as we get back to the office.

829
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:23,486
- Okay.
- PHIL: Go, then.

830
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:27,360
All of you. Who needs you?
In fact, I command you to leave!

831
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:28,805
Fine, Phil. Whatever.

832
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:30,530
Good luck running things around here.
You're gonna need it.

833
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:32,443
Be gone forever!

834
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:36,287
And don't let me catch you
back on my side of the island!

835
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,401
Unless you two girls wanna get fucked,
then hustle on back.

836
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:42,286
All right, Troy.

837
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:45,762
Hit me up with that fan, buddy.
Getting kind of hot.

838
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,322
CHRIS: Orion's belt is really bright tonight.

839
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:19,890
LISA: What are you,
Daniel Boone, or something?

840
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:21,007
(SNIGGERS) No.

841
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,162
I mean, no.
You can navigate the jungle, and...

842
00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:24,241
Yeah.

843
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,767
And start this fire
by knocking two rocks together.

844
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:29,888
You can identify natural hallucinogens.

845
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:33,328
Well, don't forget about my ability

846
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:34,686
to make campfire cobbler.

847
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:36,921
I love cobbler.

848
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:38,331
I know. I know.

849
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,323
I just picked a few berries

850
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:43,882
and had some crackers,
threw in a little sugar, and voila.

851
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,531
I know how you like sweets, so, I just...

852
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,523
You pay attention.

853
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:49,965
- I like that.
-(CHUCKLES)

854
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:56,848
- How is it? Is it too tart?
- Mmm!

855
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,568
This is the best thing I've eaten in days.

856
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:02,641
Oh, good!

857
00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:05,883
- My God! I am so impressed, Silver Beaver.
- Thank you.

858
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:09,761
I feel like I should give you

859
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:11,888
a merit badge, or something like that.

860
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,930
Oh, that'd be nice.
It'd look good next to my hang gliding one.

861
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:19,087
(CHUCKLES) You have a merit badge
for hang gliding?

862
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:22,881
It's tandem. I mean, I was tandem.
I was strapped to my scoutmaster.

863
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:24,286
But, yeah.

864
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:25,760
I do.

865
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,401
I have never seen this side of you.

866
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,050
How does someone who's so adventurous

867
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:34,363
end up designing toilet paper packaging
for a living?

868
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:36,687
(sums)

869
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:38,000
Yeah.

870
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,921
Well, the truth is I...

871
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:44,971
I always imagined my life being
a lot more interesting than it is.

872
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,840
I went to work straight after school
like some trained robot.

873
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,207
I just I feel like I never even really lived.

874
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:55,001
I feel the exact same way.

875
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,961
I probably should've done something
about it a long time ago.

876
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,729
It sounds like you need
to be a little bit more assertive.

877
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:09,210
Assertiveness. Yes.

878
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,810
I could see how that'd be a good quality.

879
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:16,209
I gotta take a shit.

880
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:18,123
Hey, Brenda. Hey.

881
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,089
What happened
to your clean language crusade?

882
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:23,010
- I decided to fuck that to hell.
- Hmm.

883
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,367
I don't have to poop, I don't have a BM.

884
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:29,604
What I have here is a shit.
There is no other word to describe this.

885
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:31,650
And I've had it since I got here, too.

886
00:47:31,720 --> 00:47:35,850
I've had to take a shit.
But I thought I could wait till I got home.

887
00:47:36,240 --> 00:47:38,083
- Can't hold it any more.
- Mmm-mmm.

888
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,601
I am infected with shit right now.

889
00:47:41,240 --> 00:47:42,241
Yeah. Okay.

890
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,402
I mean, I've never shat in the woods before.

891
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:45,641
Now's the time.

892
00:47:45,720 --> 00:47:48,644
Really? You don't think
anything is gonna bite my pussy?

893
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:50,325
Nothing's gonna bite your pussy.

894
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:54,130
Maybe I'll just hold it.
Hang out with you guys.

895
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,123
No. You don't wanna get attached to that.

896
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:58,328
You wanna just cut your ties.

897
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:00,289
Yep! You're right.

898
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,125
I gotta go unleash this shit in the wild.

899
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:04,481
.Okay.-
.Okay.-

900
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:07,609
That's good. Just make it 50 yards, Bren.

901
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:10,724
She's a sweet girl.

902
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:12,290
I should probably go to bed.

903
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:15,248
- Yeah, I guess. It might be time.
- Yeah.

904
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:17,130
Yeah, big day tomorrow.

905
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:18,406
BRENDA: We have lift-off!

906
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:20,531
Jesus. Go further!

907
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:22,011
BRENDA: Suck your mom's dick!

908
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:23,645
They're great.

909
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,569
They're a great couple.

910
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:29,044
Anyways...

911
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:30,849
- Okay, good night.
- Good night.

912
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:32,160
(BRENDA SCREAMS)

913
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:34,682
That wasn't her poo scream.

914
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:36,605
- Brenda?
- Come on.

915
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,685
- Look who it is.
- Oh, my God.

916
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:44,608
- Are you okay?
- So-so.

917
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:47,407
- But thank you for asking.
-(GROANS)

918
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:49,251
- Hey.
- What was that for?

919
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,402
Just for getting us stranded
on the island. That's all.

920
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:52,766
That's fair. That's fair.

921
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:53,841
- Just one more.
- No, no, no.

922
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:54,921
- Come on, guys.
- Okay.

923
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,731
No more slapping. You know?

924
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,644
I'm badly wounded by the tiger attack.

925
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:02,561
I say we leave him.

926
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:05,246
Yeah, why don't you let me
take a look at that?

927
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:07,209
(GROANS) The beast got me good.

928
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,328
Oh, geez. That's already infected.

929
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:12,445
Don't worry. I've had worse.

930
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:13,931
I survived three wars.

931
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,047
Which three wars?

932
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,401
Desert Storm, Desert Rain.

933
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,402
Then Iraq, Baghdad, somewhere.

934
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:24,610
You were never in the military, were you?

935
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,001
Let's kill him. Yeah? Kill him?

936
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:31,322
No. Sorry.

937
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:33,321
I should never lie to you.

938
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:35,805
I never meant any harm.

939
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:40,646
All I wanted to be is a military man.

940
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:43,603
Ever since I was a little boy,

941
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,880
running in the fields of Nebraska.

942
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:49,247
Man, this is just getting pathetic.

943
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:51,766
(VOICE BREAKING)
I don't even know how to read.

944
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:53,604
Come on.
What does that have to do with anything?

945
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,365
It's to make you feel bad.

946
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:56,961
Okay.

947
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:59,805
Okay. Keep this pressed hard against that.

948
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:01,923
We gotta get this fixed up.

949
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,604
Thank you, brothers.

950
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:05,444
Hey, listen, guys.

951
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:07,966
I found something in the jungle.

952
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:10,523
Something you should see.

953
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:16,201
(STORM GRUNTS)

954
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,571
That's where I've been hiding in shame.

955
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:28,170
-(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
-(WOMEN GRUNTING)

956
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,010
BRENDA: What is this place?

957
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,721
It looks like some kind of bomb shelter.

958
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,165
It's cosy.

959
00:50:36,240 --> 00:50:38,766
It's been very lonely here by myself.

960
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:41,605
But now, you can stay with me.

961
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:42,806
Okay. All right.

962
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:45,451
It will be like a sleepover.

963
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:48,050
- I found a flare gun.
- Nice.

964
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:49,601
Is this a radio?

965
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:52,206
- Jared, check it out.
- I'm on it. Okay.

966
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:55,966
Hey, guys. We can stay up all night.

967
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:58,482
We can tell scary stories.

968
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:01,006
And we can play Truth or Dare.

969
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:03,128
Chris, you first.

970
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:05,645
Dare me to do something.

971
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:08,845
Uh... I guess I would
dare you to be quiet, Storm.

972
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:10,251
You lost a lot of blood.
Let me take a look at that.

973
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:14,281
(STORM SIGHS)

974
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:15,600
What you gonna do?

975
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,489
- Be still.
- Needles!

976
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,606
No needles! I hate needles.

977
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,889
- Get away from me!
- CHRIS: Do you wanna die of gangrene?

978
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:24,041
I don't want needles!

979
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:26,043
- All right. All right. All right. No needles.
-(BRENDA SHUSHING)

980
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:27,281
No needles. Come on.

981
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:31,001
What if I pet your ears?
Would that make you feel better?

982
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:32,770
Okay, Brenda.

983
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:33,921
There you go.

984
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,082
No needle. No needle, Storm.

985
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:37,571
- Thank you, Chris.
- You're doing good.

986
00:51:37,720 --> 00:51:39,722
BRENDA: You've got some floppy ears.

987
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:41,802
- Can I finish cleaning it, though? Okay.
- Yes.

988
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:43,445
- No, you're doing...
-(SCREAMS) It hurts!

989
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:45,807
You're doing very good.
You're doing very good.

990
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:47,527
He's a good bunny, right?

991
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:48,806
- He's a great bunny.
-(YELLS)

992
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:50,769
- Okay, okay, okay.
- He's a feisty bunny.

993
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:52,888
- It hurt, man!
- All right. Try and relax.

994
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:53,961
- Okay.
- Just try and relax.

995
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,327
You think you can get this thing to work?

996
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:57,925
Short answer: no.

997
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,128
CHRIS: Not a needle. Not a needle.

998
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,362
Circuitry's fried, but the transceiver's good.

999
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:05,603
But the one in the plane, transceiver's out,
but the circuitry there looked all right.

1000
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:07,286
We don't speak geek.

1001
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:10,330
Listen, darling, what I'm trying to say is

1002
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,209
if we get that radio out of the plane,

1003
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:14,169
there's a decent chance
I could rig something up.

1004
00:52:14,240 --> 00:52:15,924
What about him?
We can't just leave him here.

1005
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:17,001
STORM: I'm okay.

1006
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:19,445
I'll be fine.

1007
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:24,168
We'll work something out.

1008
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:32,567
Stop. Park me here.

1009
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:42,646
What do you see?

1010
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,566
I am not quite sure.

1011
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:49,290
Dude, let me see.

1012
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:55,122
They've all gone shit-dick crazy.

1013
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:57,806
Yes, I saw Phil forcing them to eat

1014
00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:00,770
that Jimsonweed all day.

1015
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:04,845
I tried a little bit of it myself,
but I was tripping balls for six hours.

1016
00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:05,921
Couldn't feel my face.

1017
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:08,130
What is that?

1018
00:53:08,720 --> 00:53:10,245
Let me see those.

1019
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:15,211
Oh, Phil has had a statue of himself made.

1020
00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:19,686
BRENDA: Oh!

1021
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:22,169
Solid craftsmanship.

1022
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:27,411
And they're worshipping him like a God.

1023
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:30,971
I guess reasoning with him
isn't gonna be an option.

1024
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:33,486
Maybe we should just take the radio.

1025
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:36,131
I mean, the plane's at least 200 yards
from Phil's camp.

1026
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:37,804
He might not notice.

1027
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:40,528
No such luck.
They got guards stationed at the plane.

1028
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,170
- That crazy fucker!
- God.

1029
00:53:42,240 --> 00:53:43,605
It's like he doesn't even wanna go home.

1030
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:47,605
Hey, guys, if we want to steal
that radio from that plane,

1031
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:50,602
we'll have to use our heads and our brains.

1032
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,041
It's the same fucking thing, Storm.

1033
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:56,931
I think I'll go talk to him alone.
I can still reason with him.

1034
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,207
- Are you sure, Chris?
- Yeah.

1035
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:05,001
Hey.

1036
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:08,723
Just be careful, okay?

1037
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:11,205
I will.

1038
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:14,685
BRENDA: Aw!

1039
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:19,886
(CHUCKLING) What?

1040
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:37,290
Keep in pile. You, separate sticks.
Big sticks, little sticks.

1041
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:39,201
(sums)

1042
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:44,566
Oh!

1043
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:45,801
Deserter returns.

1044
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:48,206
Halt, Outsider.

1045
00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:49,521
You're a trespasser here.

1046
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,251
Hey, Dale. What's up?
Look, I just wanna talk.

1047
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:55,327
Hi. Hi. How are you?

1048
00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:56,447
What is your purpose here?

1049
00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:59,127
Wow. You guys have really gotten
serious around here, huh?

1050
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:01,806
Gone is the time of mirth and joy.
Those days ended

1051
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:04,929
when the great winged beast of iron
and steel brought us here from the sky.

1052
00:55:05,240 --> 00:55:07,971
Are you talking about the plane, Dale?
Come on. You know what a plane is.

1053
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:09,849
Look, I just need to talk to Phil.
Do you know where he is?

1054
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:11,445
Who is this "Phil" you speak of?

1055
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:13,205
He speaks of the Lawgiver.

1056
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:14,481
Okay.

1057
00:55:14,560 --> 00:55:15,721
- Oh, Orco.
- Orco.

1058
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:16,847
- Orco?
- Oh, yeah.

1059
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:17,921
<i>0}"</i>

1060
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,002
No one demands to see the Lawgiver.

1061
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:21,081
Let's slit his throat.

1062
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,726
Whoa, come on. Come on, Dale.
Calm down, you guys.

1063
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:24,801
Hey. Hey. All right.

1064
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:25,927
(WHISPERING)

1065
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:27,684
- Come on. Let's not. Let's not.
- Wait.

1066
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:31,724
Well, Outsider, it seems you get your wish.

1067
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:33,404
The Lawgiver will see you.

1068
00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:34,606
Okay.

1069
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:54,886
(sums)

1070
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,329
Did you come here to kill me?

1071
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:10,765
Come on, Phil. This is stupid.
Just knock it off.

1072
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:13,804
I would watch your tongue
if I were you, Outsider.

1073
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:15,166
Okay. Noted.

1074
00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:17,562
Look, Phil, we found a bunker.

1075
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:19,125
Phil?

1076
00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:22,566
Phil. I don't know this word.

1077
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:24,609
Right, no, I'm sorry.

1078
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:25,961
Orco.

1079
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:28,561
Yes. Orco.

1080
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:32,644
Do you know how I chose
the name Orco for myself?

1081
00:56:32,720 --> 00:56:36,884
It's the name of an ancient Babylonian God,
the god of wrath and destruction.

1082
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:40,646
I think it was also the name of that
floaty little wizard guy in He-Man.

1083
00:56:40,720 --> 00:56:42,165
- Heresy!
- Calm.

1084
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:44,641
Calm, my pet.

1085
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:47,561
I spell mine with a C.

1086
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:49,201
So it's different.

1087
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:50,566
Yeah, it's different.

1088
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:52,331
Yes.

1089
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:54,568
Time for my morning juice.

1090
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:03,768
(COUGHS)

1091
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,082
Very bitter. That's gross!

1092
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:07,605
To the Pit of Shame with you!

1093
00:57:07,720 --> 00:57:08,721
(GASPS)

1094
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:11,001
You shame yourself!

1095
00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:15,609
Come, let's take a walk.

1096
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,481
This is where my minions toil
to harvest the beans

1097
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:24,847
from which we make the sacred brew.

1098
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:27,211
Pick faster. Faster.

1099
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:31,569
Well, it's nice to see
that you didn't eat Javier at least.

1100
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:34,291
I actually tried a couple of his fingers,
but it was gross.

1101
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:35,407
Really gamy-

1102
00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:37,528
Keep the berries separate.

1103
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:41,603
- Do you see the power that I have over them?
-(MOUTHING)

1104
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:43,125
I do, yeah.

1105
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:46,207
I'm willing to give you a taste of it.

1106
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,760
I'm offering you a job
as my second in command.

1107
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:50,046
Why?

1108
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:53,681
Because I could use someone
with your know-how

1109
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:58,084
for the day-to-day running-the-camp stuff,
basically all the boring shit.

1110
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:01,841
Gee, Orco, I'm really flattered, but...

1111
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:03,524
Did I mention the perks?

1112
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:07,241
Power, glory, any woman you want.

1113
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:09,883
Well, none of the super hot ones.
Those are for me.

1114
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,804
But, you know, any of the older,
chubbier ones. Barbara from accounting.

1115
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:14,405
Oh, she's a big girl.

1116
00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:16,448
Yeah, I don't want Barbara
from accounting, or...

1117
00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:19,251
You haven't even gotten to know her.
She's a sweet lady.

1118
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,085
Listen, we found another radio, okay?

1119
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:25,004
Jared thinks he can get it working if we can
get a part from the one on the plane.

1120
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:28,881
I don't know, bro.

1121
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:31,486
I kind of got a pretty good deal
going on here, you know?

1122
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:35,804
Out there I'm just a senior VP,
but here I'm a god.

1123
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:36,881
Orco.

1124
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:38,724
Yeah, but think about this.

1125
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:42,122
You give us that part. We get out of here.
You're a hero.

1126
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:44,846
Not just here on the island,
but out there in the real world.

1127
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:46,689
Everybody's gonna know your name.

1128
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:48,366
Hmm...

1129
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:50,684
-interesting.
- Yeah.

1130
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:53,445
That you would try to sweet talk me
into giving up my empire.

1131
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:55,363
LOL, friend. Guards!

1132
00:58:56,160 --> 00:58:59,369
Phil. Phil, please.
We're never gonna get off this island.

1133
00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:00,441
PHIL: No, we won't.

1134
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:02,444
If you come back here again, Outsider,

1135
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:05,091
we will cut off your dick
and make a soup out of it.

1136
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:06,491
Cream of Chris!

1137
00:59:08,200 --> 00:59:10,851
- Let's go play some hacky sack.
- Got it.

1138
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:15,160
Poor little bunny.
You almost got eaten by a tiger.

1139
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:17,363
I wish I could give you a carrot.

1140
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:19,769
- That would be nice.
- Yeah.

1141
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:22,525
Storm, I think your wound is getting worse.
It kind of stinks.

1142
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:24,285
Is that what that is?

1143
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:25,441
It smells nasty.

1144
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:28,564
I also didn't take a bath for a while, okay?

1145
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:33,361
Tell me you got it.

1146
00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:34,727
I'd be lying.

1147
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:35,847
Seriously, dude?

1148
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:38,082
Yeah. I asked. He said no.

1149
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:40,524
You asked?

1150
00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:44,810
He asked. I'm so fucking glad you asked.
Did you say please, at least, Chris?

1151
00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:46,006
- LISA: Jared.
- Yes.

1152
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:50,881
No. I'm tired. I'm cranky.
I'm out of weed, and I wanna go home!

1153
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:53,645
What do you want me to do, Jared?
You want me to challenge Phil to a fight?

1154
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:55,684
No, Chris.

1155
00:59:55,760 --> 01:00:00,448
I want you to continue being the world's
biggest pussy until we all die of starvation.

1156
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:04,161
Oh! Come on! You're the pussy.
You're the pussy!

1157
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:05,810
- You're a pussy.
- You're the pussy!

1158
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:08,008
Guys! This is not getting us anywhere, okay?

1159
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:11,368
Brenda, who is the bigger
female reproductive organ?

1160
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:14,246
I think you're both vaginae.

1161
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:16,362
You know what?
I would've been better off with Phil.

1162
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:19,282
Wow. Why don't you go join him then?

1163
01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:21,966
Yeah. At least he's doing drugs
and having orgies.

1164
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:23,804
Instead I'm gonna die in here
with you clowns.

1165
01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:25,644
Oh! Screw this!

1166
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:26,961
<i>Adiós!</i>

1167
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:28,811
(MUMBLES)

1168
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:36,003
.l-- Hey.-
.l-- Hey.-

1169
01:00:36,960 --> 01:00:39,327
- You okay?
- I don't know.

1170
01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:42,370
You think Jared's right about me being the...

1171
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:44,571
The world's biggest pussy?

1172
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:47,170
Yeah. That's the one.

1173
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:51,280
No.

1174
01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:54,681
You're not a pussy. You're just...

1175
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:57,368
- Nice?
- Yeah. You're really nice.

1176
01:00:57,440 --> 01:01:00,330
Yeah. I know.
I think that's part of the problem.

1177
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:03,122
My whole life, I'm such a nice guy.

1178
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:06,921
"It's Chris. He's so nice.
Look at Chris, he's nice."

1179
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:08,884
Which is all well and good, you know?

1180
01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:11,770
Except that nobody ever gives you any
of the credit you deserve for anything.

1181
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:15,443
Or will actually even consider publishing
your really good fantasy novel,

1182
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:18,091
even though it's clearly better than 90%

1183
01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:20,731
of the Sword and Shadows derivative crap
that's out there.

1184
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:26,444
And it's like these out-of-touch publishers
are calling it fetish porn, and it's not.

1185
01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:30,162
Okay, yes, there's one very tastefully done,

1186
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:33,210
very understated love scene
between a dark elf and a centaur.

1187
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:35,607
And that is integral to the plot. You know?

1188
01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:38,286
You need it...

1189
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:41,762
Okay, Chris, I think maybe you're drifting
away from the point here a little.

1190
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:47,204
The point is that you just keep taking it

1191
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:50,602
because you're too nice
to stand up and do anything about it.

1192
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:54,886
(SIGHS) Yeah. You're nice. You are.

1193
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:58,600
That's what I like about you.
That's what everyone likes about you.

1194
01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:00,444
I wouldn't want you to change that.

1195
01:02:00,760 --> 01:02:02,091
But there's a time to be nice.

1196
01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:06,688
And then there's also a time
when you have to say, "Enough is enough."

1197
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:09,684
And stick your foot
so far up a prick like Phil's ass

1198
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:12,684
that he chokes on your fucking shoelaces.

1199
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:15,081
And I think now is one of those times.

1200
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:20,571
<i>I do, too.</i>

1201
01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:25,641
- How did you...
- Listen, Chris.

1202
01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:30,286
There's a time to play nice.
And there's also come a time

1203
01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:32,727
when you have to say, "Enough is enough."

1204
01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:37,560
And stick your foot so far up
a prick like Phil's ass

1205
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:42,362
that he chokes
on your own fucking shoelaces.

1206
01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:46,809
That is literally exactly what I just said.

1207
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:50,243
No. I just tweaked it a little bit.

1208
01:02:51,680 --> 01:02:54,001
No. Word for word.

1209
01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:56,971
I had my own little spin, okay?

1210
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:00,370
How long have you been there?

1211
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:02,365
For awhile.

1212
01:03:05,280 --> 01:03:06,281
This is our plan.

1213
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:08,966
We are stealing that goddamn radio.

1214
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:11,008
And I drew the little guys there.

1215
01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:42,930
(CAWING)

1216
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:56,291
Shit. Sorry, Deb. Some woman.

1217
01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:57,964
Sorry, guys. Sorry.

1218
01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:03,971
((COOING))

1219
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:10,571
Ow! Damn it! What the hell you doing?

1220
01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:13,884
Son of a bitch? What are you doing?

1221
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:15,805
Use a bigger rock!

1222
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:18,164
-(SCREAMS)
- Ow!

1223
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:20,407
Yeah.

1224
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:27,007
Good night, sweet prince.
You had a good run.

1225
01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:32,571
Okay, great.
Get the radio, and we'll stand guard.

1226
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:35,644
Well, obviously, you know,
quick as possible.

1227
01:04:35,720 --> 01:04:37,165
- Speed is of the essence.
- Copy that.

1228
01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:38,241
How'd it go?

1229
01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:39,321
- We got him.
- Great job.

1230
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:41,050
- This is invigorating.
- Yeah.

1231
01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:46,966
Do not fuck this up.

1232
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:50,050
- Thanks, Brenda. That helps a lot.
- You're welcome.

1233
01:04:52,280 --> 01:04:53,691
(GRUNTING)

1234
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:02,201
(CAWING)

1235
01:05:03,960 --> 01:05:05,962
- What does that mean?
- I don't know that call.

1236
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:08,042
- Did you discuss that with him?
- He didn't teach it to us.

1237
01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:11,326
We're gonna hold. We're gonna hold.

1238
01:05:17,040 --> 01:05:19,407
Hey, Jared. I'm not trying to be a pest, man.

1239
01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:21,881
- What's the ETA?
- You wanna do this?

1240
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:23,691
Okay. I understand.

1241
01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:25,205
- Actually, he's working.
- Yeah.

1242
01:05:25,280 --> 01:05:26,327
Let the man work. You know what I mean?

1243
01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:30,481
(SPUTTERS)

1244
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:31,846
Screw faster!

1245
01:05:31,920 --> 01:05:33,001
Yeah, I've heard that before.

1246
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:35,003
Yeah. You fell asleep between thrusts.

1247
01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:37,447
Oh, my God.
That's why you ruined our trip to Reno.

1248
01:05:37,520 --> 01:05:38,521
There it is. Right there.

1249
01:05:38,600 --> 01:05:41,285
- I wasn't sure if it was sex time or nap time.
-(GROWLS)

1250
01:05:41,960 --> 01:05:43,803
(HORN BLARING)

1251
01:05:51,960 --> 01:05:53,041
What was that?

1252
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:54,485
I think it was a conch.

1253
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:57,086
- Screw faster!
- I'm trying to! Can you please be supportive?

1254
01:05:57,160 --> 01:05:58,207
Come on!

1255
01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:00,521
- Guys!
- Guys! Another time.

1256
01:06:00,960 --> 01:06:02,485
- They're, like, always fighting.
- I know.

1257
01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:05,166
And it's, like, sometimes I feel like...

1258
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:06,241
Look!

1259
01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:08,085
(HORN BLARING)

1260
01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:10,561
Jared, get the radio! Rip it out!

1261
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:14,764
- Okay. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
- All right, ready?

1262
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:16,689
I think they've got spears.

1263
01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:19,081
They're not gonna throw 'em.
That's for show. That's for show.

1264
01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:23,926
By the power of Orco, keep my hand steady
and make my aim true.

1265
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:25,684
Yeah, yeah, Brett. Just throw it.

1266
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:29,170
Holy shit! They're throwing spears!

1267
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:31,085
(ALL SCREAMING)

1268
01:06:31,760 --> 01:06:32,966
Time to go!

1269
01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:43,805
Hey, guys!

1270
01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:47,369
(CAWING)

1271
01:06:52,040 --> 01:06:53,565
(ALL PANTING)

1272
01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:58,485
Where's Storm?

1273
01:06:58,560 --> 01:06:59,561
I thought you had him.

1274
01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:01,927
I thought you had him!
You were the wheelbarrow guy.

1275
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:03,001
Oops!

1276
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:04,081
Oh, Jared!

1277
01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:05,366
Okay, I'm gonna go look for him.

1278
01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:07,124
Stay here and get to work
and get that radio going.

1279
01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:08,281
Wait. You're going back out there?

1280
01:07:08,360 --> 01:07:10,931
Yeah. I'll be right back.
Shut the door behind me.

1281
01:07:12,360 --> 01:07:13,930
Oh. my God!

1282
01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:15,646
(PANTING)

1283
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:25,766
Storm!

1284
01:07:27,240 --> 01:07:28,685
Mr Rothchild!

1285
01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:30,921
Storm!

1286
01:07:35,920 --> 01:07:36,921
Is it working?

1287
01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:40,489
It's hard to say. If I did it right, then we're
emitting a constant distress signal.

1288
01:07:40,560 --> 01:07:43,245
But the only way to be sure is
to actually make contact with someone.

1289
01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:45,526
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

1290
01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:50,209
-(WOMAN SCREAMS)
-(GASPS)

1291
01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:54,209
(GROANING)

1292
01:07:57,320 --> 01:07:58,970
(LISA GRUNTS)

1293
01:07:59,440 --> 01:08:00,726
Get off me, Dale.

1294
01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:03,087
DALE: Bitch got a flare gun.

1295
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:06,721
PHIL: Outsider! Outsider!

1296
01:08:07,400 --> 01:08:10,165
I have your friends now. You're all alone!

1297
01:08:10,560 --> 01:08:12,608
- As for the girl...
- Ah!

1298
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:16,971
...that'd be a shame to pluck this fruit
and not have a little taste.

1299
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:20,082
Talk about having her fruit, man.

1300
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,288
Sexy fruit.

1301
01:08:22,360 --> 01:08:24,089
Her vagina berries.

1302
01:08:24,680 --> 01:08:27,081
I'm gonna have sex
with your girlfriend in her vagina.

1303
01:08:27,160 --> 01:08:28,161
You think he got that?

1304
01:08:28,240 --> 01:08:29,651
- Yeah, I think he got it.
- All right, let's go.

1305
01:08:30,640 --> 01:08:32,085
LISA: Ah! Ow!

1306
01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:43,201
Bring forth the prisoners.

1307
01:08:43,360 --> 01:08:44,964
Bring forth the prisoners!

1308
01:09:34,160 --> 01:09:35,241
(PEOPLE GRUNTING)

1309
01:09:42,400 --> 01:09:44,164
It's okay. It's okay.

1310
01:09:46,960 --> 01:09:51,204
You've all been found guilty
of the high crimes of heresy and thievery.

1311
01:09:51,280 --> 01:09:52,281
TROY: Kill.

1312
01:09:52,360 --> 01:09:55,011
ALL: (CHANTING)
Kill! Kill! Kill!

1313
01:09:55,200 --> 01:09:57,282
They're kidding, right?

1314
01:09:57,560 --> 01:09:59,927
ALL: Kill! Kill! Kill!

1315
01:10:00,280 --> 01:10:03,124
- Kill! Kill! Kill!
- Uh...

1316
01:10:03,200 --> 01:10:04,201
Guys?

1317
01:10:04,280 --> 01:10:05,770
Holy shit.

1318
01:10:05,840 --> 01:10:07,251
ALL: Kill! Kill! Kill!

1319
01:10:07,320 --> 01:10:10,005
The punishment for these crimes
is death by execution.

1320
01:10:10,120 --> 01:10:11,645
(ALL CHEERING)

1321
01:10:12,920 --> 01:10:14,729
Oh, my God. That's it. I'm go...

1322
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:17,809
Except for the fair Lisa...

1323
01:10:19,760 --> 01:10:22,286
You will live and be my bride.

1324
01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:26,081
Oh, come on. Can't you just kill me, too?

1325
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:29,161
You don't mean that.

1326
01:10:29,240 --> 01:10:32,608
I really mean it, Phil. Just do it.

1327
01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:35,090
- Here she comes.
- Oh, yeah.

1328
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,365
Good call. Good call.

1329
01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:39,611
PHIL: Mmm!

1330
01:10:40,120 --> 01:10:41,690
What is that smell?

1331
01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:45,247
(SNIFFS) It's pussy.

1332
01:10:45,680 --> 01:10:47,603
You, who are called Jared,

1333
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:49,081
come forward.

1334
01:10:52,520 --> 01:10:53,851
Step forward, Jared!

1335
01:10:57,360 --> 01:10:58,361
Dale.

1336
01:10:59,880 --> 01:11:02,565
All right. It's funny, Phil. I get it. It's not cool.

1337
01:11:02,640 --> 01:11:04,529
You have anything to say before you die?

1338
01:11:05,960 --> 01:11:07,246
You're a real asshole, Phil.

1339
01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:09,523
- What?
- Be that as it may...

1340
01:11:11,200 --> 01:11:13,043
- Still, you shall die.
- TROY: Yes!

1341
01:11:13,360 --> 01:11:14,691
(LAUGHS)

1342
01:11:15,480 --> 01:11:16,970
He's just kidding.

1343
01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:19,008
Phil. No. Come on, I'll do anything.

1344
01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:20,525
Dale.

1345
01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:23,251
Phil, I'm begging you, brother. Please don't.

1346
01:11:23,320 --> 01:11:24,321
We'll be your slaves.

1347
01:11:24,400 --> 01:11:28,371
Yeah, we get it, whatever you fucking want.
Don't have Dale cut my head off, man.

1348
01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:29,647
You don't wanna do this.

1349
01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:31,131
Phil. Please, man.

1350
01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:42,450
This isn't you, man. Things just got weird.

1351
01:11:49,320 --> 01:11:50,560
Sorry, dude.

1352
01:11:51,040 --> 01:11:53,850
I was just gonna put you in a cage,
or whip you with bamboo or something.

1353
01:11:53,920 --> 01:11:55,046
But, well...

1354
01:11:58,040 --> 01:11:59,326
It's what they want.

1355
01:11:59,760 --> 01:12:00,921
Please.

1356
01:12:10,040 --> 01:12:11,246
I love you, Brenda.

1357
01:12:11,400 --> 01:12:12,447
You do?

1358
01:12:12,520 --> 01:12:13,601
I'm sorry.

1359
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:17,810
ALL: (CHANTING) Kill! Kill! Kill!
Kill! Kill! Kill!

1360
01:12:17,920 --> 01:12:19,126
(GASPS)

1361
01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:20,806
Make it quick, Dale.

1362
01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:24,123
ALL: Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!

1363
01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:25,811
Do it, Dale.

1364
01:12:26,600 --> 01:12:27,931
(INAUDIBLE)

1365
01:12:44,520 --> 01:12:46,682
Wait!

1366
01:12:52,160 --> 01:12:53,969
Lower your blade!

1367
01:12:57,360 --> 01:13:01,410
So, you've returned just in time
to watch your friends die.

1368
01:13:01,480 --> 01:13:02,686
Perhaps you'll join them.

1369
01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:05,491
I don't think so, Orco.

1370
01:13:05,560 --> 01:13:09,121
I have returned to claim my rightful place

1371
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:11,328
as the true god of this tribe!

1372
01:13:13,280 --> 01:13:15,931
You? A god? (LAUGHS)

1373
01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:17,361
That's right.

1374
01:13:17,440 --> 01:13:20,683
And I command my subjects
to sever their allegiance

1375
01:13:20,760 --> 01:13:26,529
to the false Lord Orco
and bow before my mighty loins,

1376
01:13:26,920 --> 01:13:29,685
lest they should feel my wrath.

1377
01:13:30,520 --> 01:13:31,601
Tell me.

1378
01:13:31,680 --> 01:13:35,048
Can the impostor Orco fly
as the birds of the sky do?

1379
01:13:37,440 --> 01:13:38,566
Just a minute.

1380
01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:51,445
Almost there.

1381
01:14:22,920 --> 01:14:24,410
That was amazing.

1382
01:14:26,040 --> 01:14:27,451
I mean, I...

1383
01:14:28,960 --> 01:14:30,325
That was unreal.

1384
01:14:30,720 --> 01:14:32,882
Or, can the impostor conjure fire

1385
01:14:33,680 --> 01:14:35,205
from stone?

1386
01:14:48,480 --> 01:14:50,084
Oh! Oh!

1387
01:14:53,560 --> 01:14:54,561
PHIL: Magic tricks.

1388
01:14:54,640 --> 01:14:56,324
These are tricks! Don't be fooled!

1389
01:14:56,440 --> 01:14:59,683
Really? I'm not sure the tribe
is quite so convinced.

1390
01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:03,886
So either prove to me your divinity
by fighting and killing me,

1391
01:15:03,960 --> 01:15:06,725
or you will reveal yourself to be a liar,

1392
01:15:06,880 --> 01:15:09,645
a coward, and an all-around piece of shit.

1393
01:15:11,200 --> 01:15:13,806
Fine! I accept your challenge!

1394
01:15:13,920 --> 01:15:15,001
Good.

1395
01:15:15,080 --> 01:15:18,607
We will resolve this once and for all
with a fight to the death.

1396
01:15:18,680 --> 01:15:20,250
To the Pit of Destiny.

1397
01:15:24,360 --> 01:15:26,647
Where's the Pit of Destiny?

1398
01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:29,246
Let's just clear out the Pit of Shame.

1399
01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:31,731
Yeah.

1400
01:15:38,920 --> 01:15:41,400
MAN: Come on! Yeah! Yeah!

1401
01:15:42,520 --> 01:15:45,603
I guess we both always knew
it'd come to this. Right, Chris?

1402
01:15:45,680 --> 01:15:47,569
I honestly never saw this coming.

1403
01:15:47,680 --> 01:15:49,045
(LAUGHS)

1404
01:15:49,120 --> 01:15:50,326
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1405
01:15:51,160 --> 01:15:53,925
This is pretty fucked up. I will say that.

1406
01:15:54,120 --> 01:15:56,248
Not your typical day at the office, huh, boy?

1407
01:15:56,320 --> 01:15:57,481
U-(HISSING))

1408
01:15:58,280 --> 01:16:00,009
Chris, I do wanna apologise.

1409
01:16:00,200 --> 01:16:02,362
I'm sorry I took things this far.

1410
01:16:02,680 --> 01:16:03,727
This is fucked up.

1411
01:16:04,000 --> 01:16:06,082
- Really?
- Yeah. I'm sorry.

1412
01:16:06,760 --> 01:16:08,285
Well, we don't have to do this.

1413
01:16:08,560 --> 01:16:10,210
(SCREAMS)

1414
01:16:10,880 --> 01:16:12,644
(ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

1415
01:16:12,720 --> 01:16:14,165
LISA: Chris, get up!

1416
01:16:14,560 --> 01:16:16,483
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1417
01:16:18,120 --> 01:16:19,929
This is really pretty gay.

1418
01:16:20,120 --> 01:16:21,610
(PHIL GROWLING)

1419
01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:25,603
Yeah, it's fucking sick, man.

1420
01:16:25,680 --> 01:16:27,409
It's gay. It's gross.

1421
01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:38,091
Troy!

1422
01:16:38,160 --> 01:16:39,525
Troy, my spear.

1423
01:16:41,400 --> 01:16:42,765
That's unfair, Troy!

1424
01:16:43,120 --> 01:16:44,531
LISA: You asshole!

1425
01:16:44,720 --> 01:16:46,210
TROY: Come on, Phil!

1426
01:16:47,920 --> 01:16:49,888
- (GRUNTS)
- (GROANS)

1427
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:52,968
(ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

1428
01:16:55,320 --> 01:16:56,367
Chris!

1429
01:16:56,440 --> 01:16:59,808
Is that a nut sack between your legs,
or did your dick step in gum?

1430
01:17:03,720 --> 01:17:05,165
(GRUNTS)

1431
01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:13,721
Come on! Get up, Chris!

1432
01:17:15,120 --> 01:17:16,406
Yeah! Come on!

1433
01:17:16,800 --> 01:17:18,848
Chris! Kick his ass!

1434
01:17:20,720 --> 01:17:21,926
No!

1435
01:17:22,120 --> 01:17:23,724
PHIL: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay.

1436
01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:26,806
Okay, me and you will be co-gods.

1437
01:17:26,880 --> 01:17:28,211
S sixty/forty.

1438
01:17:28,920 --> 01:17:30,046
(SHOUTS)

1439
01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:43,129
CHRIS: Give me those hands.

1440
01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:44,801
PHIL: My warriors!

1441
01:17:45,120 --> 01:17:47,122
What are you waiting for? Attack!

1442
01:17:48,080 --> 01:17:51,129
Honestly, Phil,
I'm not really into this any more.

1443
01:17:55,760 --> 01:17:57,205
(PHIL GROANS)

1444
01:17:57,920 --> 01:17:59,445
Stay there!

1445
01:18:17,880 --> 01:18:19,928
Okay. Okay, you can get up.

1446
01:18:20,600 --> 01:18:22,682
Okay, come on. Stop it. I'm not a god.

1447
01:18:22,760 --> 01:18:24,489
There's no god here.

1448
01:18:24,880 --> 01:18:27,087
Or, I mean,
you can believe whatever you wanna believe.

1449
01:18:27,160 --> 01:18:31,768
God, He can be all around. I don't know.
But I am not a god and Phil is not a god.

1450
01:18:31,840 --> 01:18:33,046
But I am in charge now.

1451
01:18:33,680 --> 01:18:35,762
And from now on,
things are gonna be different. Okay?

1452
01:18:36,280 --> 01:18:38,521
Dale, Javier, I need you to get to the beach,

1453
01:18:38,600 --> 01:18:41,285
get to work on getting that signal fire going.
Let's go.

1454
01:18:41,360 --> 01:18:42,964
Ashley, untie them.

1455
01:18:43,280 --> 01:18:44,520
Please!

1456
01:18:46,320 --> 01:18:47,321
Brett?

1457
01:18:47,440 --> 01:18:49,363
I can see your boner. I don't know.
It's your call.

1458
01:18:49,640 --> 01:18:51,847
Okay, guys.
I'm going to get you the help you need.

1459
01:18:51,920 --> 01:18:54,207
We need to start a massive detox programme.

1460
01:18:54,480 --> 01:18:56,482
I'm gonna get this Jimsonweed
out of your system.

1461
01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:58,244
You'll be feeling as good as new in no time.

1462
01:18:58,320 --> 01:18:59,321
And then we're gonna get home.

1463
01:18:59,400 --> 01:19:00,765
- So really...
- Ship! Ship!

1464
01:19:01,160 --> 01:19:04,084
There's a ship offshore.
I saw it from the bluff.

1465
01:19:04,160 --> 01:19:05,207
He said there's a ship.

1466
01:19:05,280 --> 01:19:07,089
- They must've gotten our distress signal.
- Oh, my God.

1467
01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:08,685
Yeah, but they might not know
exactly where we are.

1468
01:19:08,760 --> 01:19:11,127
- Where's that flare gun?
- I got it.

1469
01:19:15,320 --> 01:19:16,924
- Watch out!
-(GRUNTS)

1470
01:19:17,720 --> 01:19:19,643
Ungrateful little bitch!

1471
01:19:20,120 --> 01:19:22,726
I should've slit your throat a long time ago.

1472
01:19:22,960 --> 01:19:26,726
I'm a god here! And I'm not gonna
let you fuck that up for me.

1473
01:19:27,720 --> 01:19:29,449
(MAN GROWLING)

1474
01:19:54,640 --> 01:19:56,404
(SCREAMING)

1475
01:19:59,320 --> 01:20:01,129
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

1476
01:20:03,920 --> 01:20:06,161
Okay. Storm, we got it. Thank you.

1477
01:20:07,920 --> 01:20:08,921
Good lungs.

1478
01:20:09,880 --> 01:20:11,166
Nice work, Storm.

1479
01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:12,930
I got your back, my brother.

1480
01:20:14,880 --> 01:20:16,245
PHIL: It doesn't matter anyway.

1481
01:20:17,200 --> 01:20:20,568
They'll never see your white flare
against the bright blue sky.

1482
01:20:20,640 --> 01:20:22,404
You should know that, Boy Scout.

1483
01:20:23,080 --> 01:20:25,526
It's Eagle Scout, asshole.

1484
01:20:28,560 --> 01:20:31,370
No! My statue!

1485
01:20:32,480 --> 01:20:33,925
My statue!

1486
01:20:37,720 --> 01:20:39,609
Let's get to the beach!

1487
01:20:42,160 --> 01:20:43,844
I gotcha, big guy.

1488
01:20:46,840 --> 01:20:49,366
ALL: Hey!

1489
01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:54,647
- Over here!
- Hey! Over here!

1490
01:20:55,760 --> 01:20:57,091
-(ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
- Right here!

1491
01:20:58,120 --> 01:21:00,600
-(SHIP HORN BLARING)
-(ALL CHEERING)

1492
01:21:15,520 --> 01:21:17,602
Oh, Buddy. I am so proud of you.

1493
01:21:17,680 --> 01:21:19,444
- I'm proud of you.
- Oh!

1494
01:21:19,520 --> 01:21:20,681
You're the best, dude.

1495
01:21:20,760 --> 01:21:24,048
Jared. I love you again.

1496
01:21:24,120 --> 01:21:25,690
Oh, thank God.

1497
01:21:25,880 --> 01:21:27,006
(BOTH MOANING)

1498
01:21:28,600 --> 01:21:31,046
You did it, Chris. You save us.

1499
01:21:32,040 --> 01:21:34,122
Yes. Or so it would seem.

1500
01:21:34,640 --> 01:21:36,722
That's right, all my friends.

1501
01:21:36,920 --> 01:21:40,891
My death, tiger attack, was all a test.

1502
01:21:41,320 --> 01:21:43,129
And you all passed with flying colour.

1503
01:21:43,640 --> 01:21:46,120
Good work. To get here, quick.

1504
01:21:46,920 --> 01:21:48,126
Storm...

1505
01:21:48,560 --> 01:21:49,925
Okay. I'm lying again.

1506
01:21:50,000 --> 01:21:51,001
Yeah.

1507
01:21:51,080 --> 01:21:53,924
Storm Rothchild? AKA Striker Hardcastle.

1508
01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:56,765
- What?
- AKA Francois Van Vurenberg.

1509
01:21:56,840 --> 01:21:58,842
AKA Schlomo Rabinowitz?

1510
01:21:58,920 --> 01:22:00,888
You, sir, are under arrest
by the United States Navy

1511
01:22:00,960 --> 01:22:02,121
for impersonating an officer.

1512
01:22:02,520 --> 01:22:05,330
Well, hey. Chris, can I talk to you?

1513
01:22:05,880 --> 01:22:06,927
Yeah.

1514
01:22:07,720 --> 01:22:10,769
While I'm in prison, you'll write to me?

1515
01:22:11,600 --> 01:22:12,681
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

1516
01:22:12,880 --> 01:22:13,961
How often?

1517
01:22:15,920 --> 01:22:17,001
Write you once a month?

1518
01:22:17,080 --> 01:22:18,081
I need more.

1519
01:22:19,800 --> 01:22:21,131
I could do once a week.

1520
01:22:21,760 --> 01:22:23,603
And you'll come to visit me?

1521
01:22:25,080 --> 01:22:26,844
You got it.

1522
01:22:26,920 --> 01:22:28,524
And, you know, Lisa?

1523
01:22:29,120 --> 01:22:30,485
She has a crush on you.

1524
01:22:31,920 --> 01:22:32,921
(GRUNTS)

1525
01:22:41,080 --> 01:22:42,366
- This way, ma'am.
- Uh...

1526
01:22:42,480 --> 01:22:44,244
I'm okay. I'm fine.

1527
01:22:44,320 --> 01:22:47,130
All rescued persons need
to be seen by medical personnel.

1528
01:22:47,200 --> 01:22:48,201
Okay.

1529
01:22:48,480 --> 01:22:50,323
Look, dude, I...

1530
01:22:50,680 --> 01:22:52,330
(LISA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

1531
01:22:53,880 --> 01:22:55,644
Watch out, Gilligan.

1532
01:23:01,680 --> 01:23:03,125
How was that for more assertive?

1533
01:23:03,200 --> 01:23:05,680
I didn't wanna come on too strong, and I...

1534
01:23:10,720 --> 01:23:12,529
I gotta admit it, Chris.

1535
01:23:12,600 --> 01:23:15,001
I always saw you as kind of a sissy boy.

1536
01:23:15,080 --> 01:23:17,287
But you really proved me wrong
out there on that island.

1537
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:19,130
You got balls, son.

1538
01:23:19,200 --> 01:23:21,567
Big balls. Just like me.

1539
01:23:22,280 --> 01:23:25,841
I bet if we pulled our balls out
and compared them,

1540
01:23:25,920 --> 01:23:27,729
they'd be exactly the same size.

1541
01:23:28,640 --> 01:23:30,608
You got a future here with us, Chris.

1542
01:23:30,680 --> 01:23:33,923
I'm promoting you
to Senior Vice President of Design.

1543
01:23:39,600 --> 01:23:43,241
You can move your big balls
into Phil's old office right now.

1544
01:23:43,360 --> 01:23:44,691
(sums)

1545
01:23:44,760 --> 01:23:49,004
Mr Crawford, for the last three years,
I've dreamt of hearing you say that to me.

1546
01:23:49,680 --> 01:23:54,208
This position is exactly what I've wanted.
It has been on the top of my vision board.

1547
01:23:55,080 --> 01:23:56,844
But out there on that island,
I realised something.

1548
01:23:56,920 --> 01:23:57,921
What's that, son?

1549
01:23:58,000 --> 01:23:59,001
This job sucks.

1550
01:23:59,080 --> 01:24:00,127
Excuse me?

1551
01:24:00,200 --> 01:24:03,841
Yeah, man. It sucks. Life is too short!

1552
01:24:03,920 --> 01:24:05,126
You know, there's a whole world out there.

1553
01:24:05,200 --> 01:24:06,361
There's a whole freaking universe!

1554
01:24:06,440 --> 01:24:08,283
I would rather take
that Martin P. Shulman Award

1555
01:24:08,360 --> 01:24:10,010
and stab myself directly in the heart with it,

1556
01:24:10,080 --> 01:24:13,687
than spend my entire life cooped up inside
these walls climbing the corporate ladder.

1557
01:24:13,760 --> 01:24:15,728
No. I can't do it. I quit.

1558
01:24:16,080 --> 01:24:17,206
Oh, no, you didn't.

1559
01:24:19,000 --> 01:24:20,206
I quit, too.

1560
01:24:20,280 --> 01:24:21,486
She quits, too.

1561
01:24:23,760 --> 01:24:25,046
Want this closed?

1562
01:24:33,640 --> 01:24:35,449
(INAUDIBLE)

1563
01:24:55,080 --> 01:24:56,525
<i>PHIL: Dear Troy,</i>

1564
01:24:56,600 --> 01:25:00,047
<i>I can't tell you how disappointed
lam with you right now.</i>

1565
01:25:00,120 --> 01:25:03,488
<i>I thought we were buds,
Well, let me tell you something.</i>

1566
01:25:03,760 --> 01:25:05,489
<i>If I ever get off this island,</i>

1567
01:25:05,560 --> 01:25:09,042
<i>you're gonna have to work pretty hard
to regain my trust.</i>

1568
01:25:09,640 --> 01:25:12,610
<i>PS. lam very lonely.</i>

1569
01:25:12,920 --> 01:25:14,729
<i>I'm so sad and lonely.</i>

1570
01:25:14,800 --> 01:25:16,484
(TIGER ROARING)

1571
01:25:16,509 --> 01:25:18,509
Subtitles by: kyosti