1
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:34,367
(CHEERY WHISTLING)

2
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:39,831
-MAN: And cut!
-(EXCITED CHATTER)

3
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,709
-Wow. That was so amazing!
-Walter, you did a wonderful job.

4
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,210
Thank you, Kermit. Did we get that?

5
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:45,503
-MISS PIGGY: We got it.
-We got it, yup.

6
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:50,800
Movie's over, people.
Go home. That is a wrap.

7
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,636
Okay, nice work, everyone.

8
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:56,514
Make sure to fill out your I-9s,
and we'll see you on the next one.

9
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:02,145
(SIGHS)

10
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:05,398
So, uh... What do we do now?

11
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,650
Well, we're together again.

12
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,527
We got the theater
and all our fans are back.

13
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,487
-Yeah!
-(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

14
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,239
Actually, those were extras.

15
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,032
I saw a few tapping their toes.

16
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,743
Yeah, those were paid dancers.

17
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:17,952
-Oh.
-MISS PIGGY: Or...

18
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,747
Maybe since we're all here,

19
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:23,583
now could be the perfect time
for you and me to tie the knot, Kermie!

20
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,793
(STAMMERING)
Well, I mean, maybe I could.

21
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,838
Hey, what's the camera still doing here?

22
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:32,842
Oh, no. Disaster!
That can only mean one thing.

23
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,469
-Doggone it, you're right!
-Mmm-hmm.

24
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,095
It looks like they've ordered a sequel.

25
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:37,513
(BOTH LAUGHING)

26
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,224
(SINGING) We' doing a sequel

27
00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:44,020
We're back by popular demand

28
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:47,565
Come on, everybody,
strike up the band!

29
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,650
We're doing a sequel

30
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:52,111
That's what we do in Hollywood

31
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,071
And everybody knows

32
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,365
That the sequel's never quite as good

33
00:01:56,533 --> 00:02:00,620
A sequel
Another feature attraction

34
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,330
Places, please
Light the lights

35
00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,040
Roll camera, "Action!"

36
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,042
l thought it was the end

37
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,294
But no, my friends, this is when

38
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,046
We get to do it all again!

39
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,590
do it all again

40
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,091
Until the credits roll

41
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,885
We got another go to show them

42
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,179
We can do it all again!

43
00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:20,181
(CLUCKING)

44
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:24,185
We're doing a sequel
There's no need to disguise

45
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:28,064
The studio considers us
a viable franchise

46
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:32,068
We're doing a sequel
How hard can it be?

47
00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:35,822
We can't do any worse
than The Godfather lll

48
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:39,742
We're doing a sequel
The studio wants more

49
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,661
While they wait for Tom Hanks

50
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,579
To make Toy Story 4!

51
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:45,540
l thought it was the end

52
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,667
But no, my friends, this is when

53
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,253
We get to do it all again!

54
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,088
do it all again!

55
00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:53,756
Until the credits roll

56
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,758
We've got another go to show them

57
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,052
We can do it all again!

58
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,263
(SQUAWKING)

59
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,225
MAN 1 : Coming through!

60
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,270
WOMAN: Sending over to wardrobe!

61
00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,772
MAN 2: We're taking this set apart.

62
00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:21,284
Oh!

63
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,132
We're doing a sequel

64
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,217
Let's give it a go

65
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:39,510
With Hollywood stars

66
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,138
And more one-liner cameos

67
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:43,639
We're doing a sequel

68
00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:46,267
l don't mean to be a stickler

69
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,227
But this is the seventh sequel

70
00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:49,687
To our original motion picture

71
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:50,980
MUPPETS: We' doing a sequel

72
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,064
(SCREAMING)

73
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,816
Let's give it a shot

74
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:58,070
All we need now is a half-decent plot

75
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,615
(SPEAKING) Got it. An epic love story

76
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:03,618
between a very handsome,
long-nosed purple thing

77
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,161
-and a beautiful chicken.
-(CLUCKS)

78
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,413
Gonzo with the Wind.

79
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,623
Does anybody have any other ideas?

80
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,542
Oh! Oh! It's about getting the Muppets
back together again

81
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:15,630
to stop an evil oil baron
from demolishing the old studio!

82
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,381
Fozzie, did you even watch our last film?

83
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:21,135
How about one of those
fish out of water movies?

84
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:22,929
Yeah, I'm not so sure about that, Lew.

85
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:26,974
It's about a frog
who marries a beautiful, perfect pig.

86
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,477
And they have to kiss each other a lot!

87
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,187
Uh...

88
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,189
(SPEAKING MOCK SWEDISH)

89
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,693
I don't think Americans
watch subtitled films. (SIGHS)

90
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:40,154
How about a movie
where you don't make a movie?

91
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,114
And we all get to go home early!

92
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,658
(BOTH LAUGHING)

93
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:45,660
Good grief.

94
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,411
-(PLAYING PIANO)
-It's about a lonely dog,

95
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:50,623
and one night he sees something
he should never have seen.

96
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:53,417
And he has to live with a terrible secret.

97
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,878
That sounds a little dark, Rowlf.

98
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:01,133
Kermit, how about the Muppets
go on a world tour?

99
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:02,677
That's perfect!

100
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,345
MUPPETS: (SINGING)
l thought it was the end

101
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,263
But no, my friends, this is when

102
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:09,183
We get to do it all again!

103
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,395
Until the credits roll

104
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,480
We've got another go to show them

105
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,315
We can do it all again!

106
00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:22,613
We're doing a sequel

107
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:26,117
lt's more of the same
Let's give it a name

108
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,327
How about The Muppets Again?

109
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:32,498
lt's the Muppets again
with The Muppets Again

110
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,042
lt's the

111
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,921
Muppets

112
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,049
Again!

113
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,467
-Okay?
-ZUCCHINI BROTHER: I'm okay!

114
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:44,802
Okay! Ha-ha!

115
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:49,724
Booma-booma!

116
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,809
BOTH: Booma-booma! Hep!

117
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,561
-Hey! Pepperoni!
-(WHOOPING)

118
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,733
(WIND HOWLING)

119
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:08,242
ACCELERATING BEEPS)

120
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,262
-(GRUNTS)
-(GROANS)

121
00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:32,558
(GRUNTING)

122
00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:37,813
Exactly why do we have
an "Open All Doors" button?

123
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,859
Seems kind of dangerous.

124
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,986
Eat your goulash.

125
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:45,988
(POWERING DOWN)

126
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:47,490
-(GRUNTING)
-(PUNCHES LANDING)

127
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,574
(DISHES SHATTERING)

128
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,204
(BLARING)

129
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,792
(LAUGHS) Come on!

130
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:58,918
ALL YELLING)

131
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,547
(WITH RUSSIAN ACCENT) Let's dance.

132
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,591
(GUARDS GROANING)

133
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,140
(YELLS)

134
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,147
ALARM BUZZING)

135
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:22,024
(PRISONERS SHOUTING)

136
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,825
It's time to light the lights.

137
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,743
(EXPLODING)

138
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,164
Muppet news flash.

139
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:40,251
Constantine, the world's
most dangerous frog,

140
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,628
has escaped from
a maximum security gulag

141
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,505
in Siberia, Russia.

142
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,924
This move has leapfrogged Constantine

143
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,760
to the number one
most wanted criminal in the world,

144
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:53,013
one place ahead
of the mysterious Lemur.

145
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,099
Wow.

146
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,476
Thanks for seeing me
at my regular booth, Muppets.

147
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,271
-Big fan. Huge.
-(MUPPETS MURMURING)

148
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,815
Dominic. International tour manager.

149
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,567
"Dominic Badguy"?

150
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,111
It's pronounced "Bad-gee."
(CLEARS THROAT) It's French.

151
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,195
MUPPETS: Ah!

152
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,407
It means "good man."

153
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,658
-Oh, yes.
-Oh!

154
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,076
Listen up.

155
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,912
You're hot. You're having a moment.

156
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,707
But what is inevitable
about a moment? It ends.

157
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,500
I don't want this moment to end!

158
00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:23,043
That's why we got to get out there now

159
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,462
and capitalize on this moment
with a capital "C," yeah?

160
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,882
I want you to conquer the world.
Do an international tour.

161
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,175
Show a global audience
what you can do.

162
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,760
-(EXCITED CHATTER)
-Yeah, that sounds great

163
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:32,970
but I'm just not sure...

164
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,764
Wait a second, guys, listen.
I'd love to do that, too.

165
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,601
But we've barely gotten back together.
We don't want to mess that up.

166
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:42,605
Okay, I am inundated with
offers of management at the moment.

167
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:48,402
One Direction, U2, Cirque du Soleil.
Just some of the acts I can list.

168
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,946
-(EXCLAIMING IN AWE)
-Wow, that's a good list!

169
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,949
And now,
I wanna tour manage you guys.

170
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,327
I know you're the boss, Kermit.
I wouldn't interfere with that.

171
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,537
We would share our managerial roles

172
00:08:58,622 --> 00:09:02,124
because you've got a special
bond with these little guys.

173
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,500
-Sure.
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)

174
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,336
Uh... Oh! (SCOFFS)

175
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,503
President Clinton?

176
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,796
-(MUPPETS GASPING)
-What?

177
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:11,133
I'm on my way, Number Two.

178
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,676
Great, they're taking the bait.

179
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,887
-Well, he seems like a nice guy.
-ROWLF: Yeah.

180
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,764
Humble and honest.

181
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:20,017
I just... I think we have
to get settled first, you know?

182
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:23,520
Hone the show, get some new material,
and then maybe go on a world tour.

183
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,855
DOMINIC: See you in Berlin.

184
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,899
CONSTANTINE: Yes. Auf Wiedersehen,

185
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,234
Number Two.

186
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,240
(CHUCKLES EVILLY

187
00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:38,911
So...

188
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,871
What's it gonna be, Muppets?

189
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,373
Ready to be world famous?

190
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,500
No pressure, but I am a very busy man.

191
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:45,668
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
-Oh!

192
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,795
That's Rihanna. I really should take this.

193
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:49,713
(MUPPETS TALKING INDISTINCTLY

194
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,258
World tour! World tour!

195
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:55,052
Well, I mean...

196
00:09:55,136 --> 00:10:00,015
I guess we could always hone our acts
on the road, and that would be okay.

197
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,392
Wouldn't it, Kermit?

198
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:04,979
ANIMAL: World tour! World tour!
Come on, froggy!

199
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,314
(INDISTINCT TALKING CONTINUES)

200
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:08,983
Okay, let's do it.

201
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,110
-Dominic, you're hired.
-(CHEERING)

202
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:16,240
Thanks, Kermit. I mean, boss.

203
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,325
You won't regret this.

204
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:22,413
(WOMAN ANNOUNCING
INDISTINCTLY OVER PA)

205
00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:24,915
KERMIT: Is everybody here? Yeah?

206
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,210
Okay, guys, guys.
Gather round and listen up.

207
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,045
If we're going to go on a world tour,

208
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:33,048
I thought we should travel
in classic style.

209
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:35,551
So... I booked us a tour train!

210
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,386
ALL CLAMORING EXCITEDLY

211
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:42,474
No, guys, not that train. This train.

212
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,143
(WHISTLE BLOWS)

213
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,855
Isn't she a beauty?

214
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,064
ALL SIGH DISAPPOINTEDLY

215
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:50,566
All aboard, guys!

216
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,193
Beauregard's licensed to drive a train?

217
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:58,157
It's like a big car, but with no
steering wheel, so it's easier.

218
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,742
Get them up and move them out.

219
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,660
All aboard, Dominic.

220
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,746
I didn't know there was still third class.

221
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,040
Third class? How about no class?

222
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,124
(BOTH LAUGH)

223
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:08,584
Oh!

224
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,002
Watch the heels!

225
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,004
Piggy, why do you need
so much luggage?

226
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,630
For our honeymoon, of course!

227
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,299
-For our what?
-FOZZIE: Hey, guys!

228
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,926
The dining car has
an observation deck.

229
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:21,597
Oh, wait, the dining car
doesn't have a roof.

230
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,432
BEAUREGARD: Let's go, guys!

231
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:25,934
Oh! Oh.

232
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,479
That must be reverse.

233
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,440
Oh, well. This way looks good, too.

234
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,859
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

235
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:39,907
KERMIT: Okay, dominic, l thought
we could start our world tour in London.

236
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:42,868
DOMINIC: Orhow about
the world capital of comedy?

237
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,453
Berlin, Germany.

238
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,038
-(MUPPETS CHEERING)
-ANIMAL: Germany!

239
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:54,713
Hmm?

240
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:56,131
Uh...

241
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,217
Was that supposed to happen?

242
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,807
KERMIT: Oh, you guys are
gonna love this place.

243
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,392
-Hmm?
-Uh...

244
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,769
Okay, here we are, guys.

245
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,312
The Hole in the Wall Club!

246
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,480
"Die Muppets"?

247
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,482
Looks like they put the reviews up early.

248
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,692
Yeah, or is that the suggestion box?

249
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,027
(BOTH LAUGHING)

250
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,948
MISS PIGGY: "Hole in the Wall Club"?

251
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,658
More like "Hole in the Ground Club."

252
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:23,742
Okay, everybody.

253
00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:26,328
So, we'll start at the bottom
and work our way up.

254
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,331
I've booked us
into cabaret bars and coffee houses

255
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,834
all across the industrial cities
of Northern Germany.

256
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,170
Dusseldorf, Hamburg,
Mudburg, Vomitdorf.

257
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,755
Poopenburgen?

258
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,716
Fozzie, we have a solid week
booked in Poopenburgen.

259
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,344
Kermit, we are professional performers.

260
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,388
Actors, musicians, and...

261
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,139
Others.

262
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,809
Gee, guys, nobody ever
said this would be easy.

263
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,435
We have to start small.

264
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,520
Then go huge?

265
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,356
Well, then go slightly less small.

266
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:58,360
And then a touch less small
until we're small-to-medium-small.

267
00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,528
ALL GROAN)

268
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:00,612
DOMINIC: This looks great.

269
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:04,366
And I think we should
commend Kermit on his efforts.

270
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:06,451
KERMIT: Thank you, Dominic. Thanks.

271
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:08,912
-Or, if I might be so bold...
-Uh-huh?

272
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:12,165
...maybe we could consider
another venue.

273
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:13,750
Another venue?

274
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,337
To be precise, this other venue.

275
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,047
-MUPPETS: Whoa!
-Look at that theater!

276
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,924
What? No, no.

277
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,677
We don't have the money
to rent the Berlin National Theater!

278
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,929
We'll make our money back
when we sell it out.

279
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:30,934
Kermie, I've always dreamed
of playing the Berlin National Theater.

280
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:33,604
"lch bin ein Berliner."

281
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:36,356
More like, "Ein frankfurter"!

282
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,941
-(MUPPETS CHUCKLING)
-Watch it, buster.

283
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,277
Guys, I'm not sure
we can do this, you know?

284
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,904
DOMINIC: Okay,
let's put this to the vote.

285
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,114
All those in favor
of believing in ourselves,

286
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,365
raise your hands.

287
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,743
-(INDISTINCT TALKING)
-That's not what I'm saying.

288
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,370
And all those in favor ofjust giving up.

289
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,122
(SIGHING)

290
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,041
I can't believe I'm voting for giving up.

291
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:57,377
Good. Well, I'm glad
we made this decision.

292
00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,087
Oh, wonderful!

293
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,130
So cool!

294
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:03,342
WALTER: Isn't that exciting.
I can't believe it.

295
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,431
All right, gather round, troops.
Everybody?

296
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:10,807
-ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY
-Okay, guys.

297
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:14,061
Since we're playing such a big theater,
let's stick with what we know.

298
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:15,646
We'll open with a cabaret number...

299
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,106
Kermit, when do I do
the indoor running of the bulls?

300
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,399
(BULL BELLOWING)

301
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:20,651
ALL EXCLAIMING)

302
00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,110
Mr. Kermit, sir?

303
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:26,031
I would very much like to demonstrate
my magnetic bomb-attractor vest.

304
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,240
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

305
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,284
Bunsen, why would you even
invent one of those?

306
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:32,079
Why did I invent
the automatic drowning helmet?

307
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,497
The extra sharp chair?

308
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:36,291
Or the unexpectedly
exploding cupcake?

309
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,210
-(SCREAMS)
-ALL GASP)

310
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,045
Because it's there, Kermit.
Because it's there.

311
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,713
Hey, what about Muppet Ladder?

312
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,966
Muppet Ladder?
That's never, ever worked, Gonzo.

313
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,093
Last time we all tried that
was 20 years ago

314
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,178
and you ended up
in a cast for six months.

315
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:49,471
Yeah, good times.

316
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:53,809
Kermit, what if I do
four or five Celine Dion songs?

317
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,394
You know Celine Dion,
she works in Vegas.

318
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,770
No, Piggy, there's no time for that.

319
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,106
What about the band's
marathon jam session?

320
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,358
Drum solo! Drum solo!

321
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:02,776
No drum solo!

322
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:04,152
ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY

323
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,237
Guys, guys, guys!

324
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,572
We can't just do whatever we want.

325
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,241
This is our opening night.

326
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,660
Let's play to our strengths, because...

327
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:12,828
(SIGHS)

328
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,079
Well...

329
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,581
Look, I didn't want to worry you guys

330
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:20,252
but if we don't sell this theater out,
it would mean the end of the tour.

331
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:21,586
-ALL GASP)
-GONZO: What?

332
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:22,838
And maybe the end of us.

333
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,298
Great news, Muppets. We're sold out.

334
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,425
What?

335
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,093
ALL TALKING EXCITEDLY

336
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,303
Fine.

337
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,681
I mean, great, great.
Well done, Dominic.

338
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,267
Hey, I have an amazing idea for an act.

339
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:37,185
It's called
"The Indoor Running of the Bulls."

340
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:40,021
Gonzo, I've told you,
that act is far too dangerous.

341
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,566
Actually, Kermit, I was asking
Dominic what he thinks.

342
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,317
Good grief.

343
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,319
MISS PIGGY:
Dominic, Dominic! Five songs.

344
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,779
ALL CLAMORING)

345
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:54,453
"Sold out." Like we've
sold out a show in 30 years.

346
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,537
Ahem.

347
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,540
Is this a good time to discuss
our upcoming European wedding?

348
00:15:58,624 --> 00:15:59,958
No, actually, I'm kind of busy right now.

349
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,042
Perfect!

350
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,503
I have 23 swatches
for the seat covers for the reception,

351
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:04,838
eight font choices for the menu,

352
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,299
which, by the way,
we are not serving flies.

353
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,967
Piggy, what are you talking about?

354
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:12,637
I'm just trying to involve you in
some of the decision-making, dear.

355
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,347
What about being involved
in the decision

356
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,224
to get married in the first place, huh?

357
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,185
Oh, Kermit, you never
let me do what I want!

358
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,227
Oh, yeah?

359
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,354
Well, what about what I want, huh?
What about that?

360
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:23,023
I haven't even proposed yet.

361
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,484
-You can do that on our honeymoon.
-What? (STAMMERING)

362
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,986
That's insane! Do you hear
what you're saying?

363
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,030
Insane? How dare you call
your fiancée insane?

364
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:32,908
You are not my fiancée!
We are not engaged!

365
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,159
And, as a matter of fact,

366
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:37,496
the way this particular conversation
is going right now... Well...

367
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:38,747
I'm fine with that!

368
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,082
-(GASPS)
-(FOO FOO GROWLING)

369
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,752
-KERMIT: Piggy, wait! I'm sorry!
-(FOO FOO BARKING)

370
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,545
Get out!

371
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,177
(KERMIT SIGHS)

372
00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:58,683
(DOMINIC SIGHS)

373
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:06,191
Don't take it personally.
They still love you.

374
00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,692
They just prefer me now.

375
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:09,945
Uh, thank you, Dominic.
That's very comforting.

376
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,781
Do you know what I think helps
sometimes in situations like this?

377
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:13,949
What?

378
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,576
A walk alone in the fog
in former East Berlin.

379
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,453
Maybe along a deserted canal.

380
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,749
Well, I guess a quiet stroll
is not a bad idea.

381
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,001
Let the others know I've gone, will you?

382
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:26,753
Sure. I promise.

383
00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:28,797
Thanks. (CLEARS THROAT) Ah.

384
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,346
(MAN SHOUTING IN GERMAN)

385
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:52,821
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)

386
00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:54,573
(GREETS IN GERMAN)

387
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,450
(CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY

388
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,501
-(WHIMPERS)
-WOMAN: Corrine, come here!

389
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:07,919
(GIRL GASPING)

390
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,590
(SIGHS)

391
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,932
-Boo.
-(KERMIT SCREAMS)

392
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:22,934
(GROANS)

393
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,605
(GRUNTING)

394
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,444
What just happened?

395
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,200
(WOMAN SPEAKING GERMAN)

396
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,291
(IN ENGLISH) What?

397
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,464
Wait a second.

398
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,632
ALL CLAMORING)

399
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,551
Hold on, hold on!
There must be some mistake!

400
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,803
Don't you know me? I'm Kermit the Frog!

401
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:01,264
Silence, Constantine. The game is up.

402
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,474
Who?

403
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,392
(GASPS AND SCREAMS)

404
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:07,020
No, no! Wait a minute!
I'm Kermit the Frog!

405
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,648
Guys, this is a mistake!
I'm telling you! (SCREAMS)

406
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,526
Hey, hey! Hello! Somebody!

407
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:16,071
-Open up!
-(SIREN BLARING)

408
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,198
I'm an Amphibian-American!

409
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:32,796
It's not easy being mean.

410
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:34,839
(SNICKERING)

411
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:36,883
(MUPPETS TALKING INDISTINCTLY

412
00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:39,594
Has anyone seen Kermit?

413
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,929
Whoa!

414
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,013
It's 1 5 minutes to curtain.

415
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:46,184
Hi, guys. Look, it's Kermit,
just back from his afternoon stroll.

416
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,771
Hi-lo! I am Kermit.

417
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:50,939
-What...
-Hmm.

418
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,607
DOMINIC: He's got a cold.
That's why his voice

419
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,693
sounds a little bit different
at the moment.

420
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,277
-ALL AGREEING)
-(COUGHS)

421
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,780
See? Just calm down. Just relax.

422
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:02,117
-You are right. Dominic is terrific!
-Aw.

423
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,536
From now on,
let's do whatever he says. Hmm?

424
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:06,371
ALL: All right. Yeah.

425
00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,581
Wow, that walk must have really helped.

426
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,750
Miss Pig, I have wronged you.

427
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,211
I humbly beg your forgiveness.

428
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,463
You're not getting off that easy, bucko.

429
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,215
Come on, Foo Foo. (HARRUMPHS)

430
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:20,093
(SNIFFING) Bad frog! Bad frog!

431
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,553
(YELLING)

432
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,638
What is this? Let go, dog!

433
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,724
Animal, stop it!

434
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:29,352
Kermit has agreed that Dominic
is right all the time, man.

435
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:30,478
DOMINIC: Good.

436
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,815
So, now that Kermit agrees
with me on everything...

437
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,734
-I am Kermit.
-Definitely.

438
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:38,486
Let's go and hang out backstage, yeah?

439
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,904
Okay, all right.

440
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,657
Come, little friend.

441
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:46,327
Let us get on with the show
and enjoy our family-style adventure

442
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:50,498
during which we shall bond
and learn heartwarming lesson.

443
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:53,084
Perhaps about sharing,
or waiting your turn,

444
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:55,211
or the number three. Hmm?

445
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:57,964
Um...

446
00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,924
Right, Kermit. Uh...

447
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,259
Sure.

448
00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:05,680
Flawlessly executed. Bravo.

449
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:09,684
What did you expect from
world's most dangerous frog

450
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,687
and number one criminal, Number Two?

451
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,522
Yeah, I know.
You're number one, I'm number two.

452
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,191
I think you mentioned that before.

453
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:19,110
Now that we control
the Muppet tour, Number Two,

454
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:21,613
phase one of our plan is complete.

455
00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:24,699
We are now positioned
to carry out greatest...

456
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,618
(MUMBLING)

457
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:31,289
Burgle...

458
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:32,624
-"Burglary."
-Yes.

459
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:37,295
...of all time, and pin it
on those gullible Muppets,

460
00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:42,008
who will spend the rest
of their miserable lives behind bars.

461
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,426
-Hmm.
-Tonight,

462
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,887
we steal the painting

463
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,972
and then we'll have all we need

464
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:53,103
to steal the unstealable,
the Crown Jewels of England.

465
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:56,397
Ensuring that my name
goes down in history

466
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,733
as greatest thief of all time!

467
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,235
You mean our names, right?

468
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:01,903
Of course.

469
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:05,615
My name first, then spacebar,
spacebar, spacebar, your name.

470
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:06,699
DOMINIC: Sure.

471
00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:09,577
(SINGING) l'm number one
You're number two

472
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:14,457
We're criminals at large
But l'm at larger than you

473
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,417
l'm number one

474
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:18,837
You're number two

475
00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:21,214
l believe in equality

476
00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:23,424
As long as you get less than me

477
00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:24,759
-l'm one
-You're one

478
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:25,927
You're number two

479
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,053
I'm number two.

480
00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:29,222
You may think that you're smarter

481
00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:30,849
But l'm smarterer than you

482
00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:34,644
l'm number one
You're number two

483
00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:37,772
You're lucky to be number two

484
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,566
-Not number three
-(GROANS)

485
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:42,944
l can see by the look in your eye

486
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:47,031
You want to get a bigger
piece of the pie

487
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:50,618
One day you'll get your chance

488
00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:52,495
But in the meantime

489
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,331
You've got to dance, monkey, dance!

490
00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:57,667
Really? I hate dancing.

491
00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:58,793
Do it!

492
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:01,212
dance, monkey, dance!

493
00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:03,923
Ha-ha!

494
00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:06,050
(CONSTANTINE GRUNTING)

495
00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:09,804
l'm number two
He's number one

496
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:14,559
l can't believe
l'm working for an amphibian

497
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:17,729
l'm number two
He's number one

498
00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:18,897
I'm number one!

499
00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:20,899
You know life's gone to the dogs

500
00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:23,234
When your boss is a frog

501
00:23:23,819 --> 00:23:26,696
l can see it's just a matter of time

502
00:23:26,780 --> 00:23:28,281
Before he's gone

503
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:30,408
And l'm at the front of the line

504
00:23:31,869 --> 00:23:34,787
lt won't be long till l get my chance

505
00:23:34,872 --> 00:23:36,706
But in the meantime

506
00:23:36,790 --> 00:23:39,167
l've got to dance, monkey, dance

507
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,422
dance, monkey, dance

508
00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:49,594
Now, watch me.

509
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,014
Ha-ha!

510
00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:55,516
(EXCLAIMS)

511
00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:56,809
(GROANS)

512
00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:00,855
-l'm number one
-He's number one

513
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:03,024
-You're number two
-l'm number two

514
00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:05,235
That's it, kid
There you go

515
00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:07,320
Now step aside
This ain't your show

516
00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:08,696
-l'm one
-"l'm one"

517
00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:10,031
l'm number one

518
00:24:10,115 --> 00:24:11,241
Yes, we know

519
00:24:11,325 --> 00:24:13,368
-l'm...
-He's...

520
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:17,956
BOTH: Number one!

521
00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:23,086
That's how it's done.

522
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:25,505
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
-(DOOR OPENS)

523
00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:28,216
1 5 seconds to curtain... Kermit?

524
00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:30,551
Sure.

525
00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:32,553
Uh... Okay.

526
00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:33,805
(GRUNTS)

527
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:35,974
Have you studied your Kermit tapes yet?

528
00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:40,311
Of course not. This is child's play
for frog of my talent. (GRUNTS)

529
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:41,980
(SIGHS)

530
00:24:43,232 --> 00:24:44,899
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY

531
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:47,193
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome...

532
00:24:47,278 --> 00:24:50,280
"Study Kermit tapes." Nonsense.

533
00:24:50,364 --> 00:24:52,448
It's...

534
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:54,492
Oh, no.

535
00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,161
Uh...

536
00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:58,538
AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

537
00:24:58,622 --> 00:25:01,124
Kermit! Introduce the show.

538
00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:04,043
-(GRUNTS)
-AUDIENCE GASPING)

539
00:25:05,379 --> 00:25:06,587
(STAMMERING)

540
00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:07,922
It's the Muppet Show!

541
00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:11,926
With our very special guest star,
Christoph Waltz!

542
00:25:12,094 --> 00:25:13,386
Yay!

543
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:21,686
What is happening? Why am I flying?

544
00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:23,563
Whoa. (SCREAMS)

545
00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:24,897
-(GROANS)
-ALL GASP)

546
00:25:25,691 --> 00:25:28,359
-What the...
-We gotta do something!

547
00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:32,530
(STAMMERING)

548
00:25:32,823 --> 00:25:35,783
(SPEAKING IN GERMAN)

549
00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:38,036
Please welcome our first act,

550
00:25:38,287 --> 00:25:40,997
Australian superstar...

551
00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:44,959
Not Australian. Austrian. Austrian.

552
00:25:45,127 --> 00:25:46,294
Yeah, of course. Yes, right.

553
00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:50,548
Cancel the Waltzing Matilda
opening Australian number.

554
00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:52,550
But we rehearsed it.

555
00:25:52,634 --> 00:25:54,552
-What?
-Jeez Louise.

556
00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:56,971
Sorry. Austrian superstar...

557
00:25:57,056 --> 00:26:00,224
Herr Christoph Waltz dances the waltz!

558
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:02,477
(WALTZ PLAYING)

559
00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:09,442
ALL HUMMING)

560
00:26:20,621 --> 00:26:24,332
-Darling, you set my world on fire.
-Oh!

561
00:26:24,792 --> 00:26:27,460
Did somebody say "explosion"?

562
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:31,672
No! He says I set his world on fire.

563
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,382
There it is again!

564
00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:35,885
AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

565
00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:37,804
Wait for me! Please! Wait for me.

566
00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:40,598
(LAUGHING MANICALLY

567
00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:41,933
ALL GASP)

568
00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:43,059
(GRUNTS)

569
00:26:45,312 --> 00:26:46,646
One more!

570
00:26:46,772 --> 00:26:48,106
SWEETUMS: Keep waltzing, Mr. Waltz!

571
00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:50,316
Hey!

572
00:26:50,984 --> 00:26:53,069
It was, uh, vertigo.

573
00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:56,072
Not stage fright, if that's
what you're thinking, Number Two.

574
00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:57,156
Sure.

575
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,370
(GRUNTING)

576
00:27:25,936 --> 00:27:28,354
DOMINIC: Colonel Thomas Blood.

577
00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:38,197
Right, now to cover our tracks.

578
00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:41,534
-ALARM RINGING)
-(GASPS)

579
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:43,202
Let's get out of here!

580
00:27:45,038 --> 00:27:46,205
(PANTING)

581
00:27:59,219 --> 00:28:01,512
(POLICE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER RADIO)

582
00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:08,436
CIA.

583
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,729
Interpol!

584
00:28:09,813 --> 00:28:12,273
What is the CIA doing here?
This is my jurisdiction.

585
00:28:12,357 --> 00:28:13,774
Not to mention, my badge is bigger.

586
00:28:13,859 --> 00:28:15,443
One of the stolen paintings was on loan

587
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,320
from the New York
Metropolitan Museum ofArt.

588
00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:20,281
So, this is CIA jurisdiction.

589
00:28:20,365 --> 00:28:21,991
Also, this is my travel badge.

590
00:28:22,075 --> 00:28:24,118
-Here's my real badge.
-Oh.

591
00:28:24,203 --> 00:28:25,953
You must have been
looking at the wrong...

592
00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:27,205
-Badge!
-What?

593
00:28:27,581 --> 00:28:29,999
(SIGHS) You've won this round, Pierre.

594
00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:32,001
-My name is "Jean."
-Okay, Shawn.

595
00:28:32,085 --> 00:28:33,336
It looks like we're gonna
be working together.

596
00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:35,796
But that doesn't mean I have to like you.

597
00:28:35,881 --> 00:28:37,173
I didn't like you first.

598
00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:38,716
I didn't like you before I met you.

599
00:28:39,593 --> 00:28:41,761
So, what have we got?

600
00:28:41,845 --> 00:28:43,804
Two priceless paintings stolen

601
00:28:43,889 --> 00:28:45,056
and one average painting

602
00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:48,142
-of an obscure English colonel.
-Hmm.

603
00:28:48,227 --> 00:28:51,604
This has all the markings
of the work of the Lemur.

604
00:28:51,688 --> 00:28:52,688
What's a lemur?

605
00:28:52,773 --> 00:28:55,816
Only the second most wanted
criminal in the world.

606
00:28:55,901 --> 00:28:58,361
And my personal nemesis.

607
00:28:58,445 --> 00:29:01,155
Unfortunately for me,
his identity is a mystery.

608
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,866
No, literally, what is a lemur?

609
00:29:03,951 --> 00:29:06,035
Oh. It is also a rat-monkey
from Madagascar.

610
00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:07,453
-Oh.
-A-ha!

611
00:29:08,622 --> 00:29:10,122
Just as I suspected.

612
00:29:10,457 --> 00:29:12,500
This coin is his calling card.

613
00:29:12,918 --> 00:29:15,711
The Lemur, he is playing with us.

614
00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:17,588
I have a delivery here for Mr. Eagle.

615
00:29:17,673 --> 00:29:18,673
Right here.

616
00:29:20,842 --> 00:29:23,636
-And here's your rope.
-Mmm.

617
00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:27,181
You were saying?

618
00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:31,519
Here is the lemur file.
It is everything we have on him.

619
00:29:37,150 --> 00:29:38,567
DOMINIC: Look at that.

620
00:29:38,735 --> 00:29:42,154
"Muppets sell out in Berlin." Five stars!

621
00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:43,447
ALL EXCLAIMING)

622
00:29:43,532 --> 00:29:47,076
Kermit the Frog is liking this news.

623
00:29:49,079 --> 00:29:50,496
Choo-choo, yeah!

624
00:29:51,039 --> 00:29:52,581
(CHUCKLES) Ooh, tunnel.

625
00:29:53,375 --> 00:29:54,583
(GRUNTS)

626
00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:56,752
Ooh!

627
00:29:57,629 --> 00:29:59,338
(MUFFLED YELLING)

628
00:30:14,062 --> 00:30:15,313
CONSTANTINE: (GROANS)
It's not there.

629
00:30:15,397 --> 00:30:16,564
You were wrong!

630
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:18,607
Not so fast.

631
00:30:18,692 --> 00:30:20,568
Oldest trick in the book.

632
00:30:20,652 --> 00:30:22,153
-(SIZZLES)
-Mmm.

633
00:30:22,237 --> 00:30:23,779
Write it in lemon juice,

634
00:30:23,864 --> 00:30:25,948
then simply apply heat

635
00:30:26,033 --> 00:30:29,285
to reveal Colonel Blood's map.

636
00:30:31,747 --> 00:30:32,997
Mmm...

637
00:30:33,081 --> 00:30:35,207
Of course, today,
the Crown Jewels lie behind

638
00:30:35,292 --> 00:30:38,252
the most sophisticated
security system on the planet.

639
00:30:39,129 --> 00:30:42,882
And this map, along with
Blood's key and locket,

640
00:30:42,966 --> 00:30:45,551
is the only way to get close to them.

641
00:30:45,635 --> 00:30:47,970
Good work, Number Two.

642
00:30:48,055 --> 00:30:50,514
What does it say
about location of Blood's key?

643
00:30:50,599 --> 00:30:51,599
Right.

644
00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:53,893
Something, something.

645
00:30:53,977 --> 00:30:55,519
"Finest wooden teeth."

646
00:30:55,604 --> 00:30:56,896
That is not helpful.

647
00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:00,232
Wait.

648
00:31:01,651 --> 00:31:03,277
There's the name of a city here.

649
00:31:03,945 --> 00:31:05,613
Madrid.

650
00:31:07,491 --> 00:31:08,949
(MAN SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN)

651
00:31:15,165 --> 00:31:17,333
KERMIT: You've got the wrong frog!

652
00:31:17,459 --> 00:31:19,168
(PRISONERS CLAMORING)

653
00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:20,961
(MUFFLED WHIMPERING)

654
00:31:26,343 --> 00:31:27,676
Hey, hey, hey!

655
00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:29,220
Ah! Ow.

656
00:31:31,014 --> 00:31:32,181
(MUFFLED TALKING)

657
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:35,851
(GASPING)

658
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:41,774
It's Constantine.

659
00:31:41,858 --> 00:31:43,359
-What?
-He's back.

660
00:31:44,945 --> 00:31:46,278
What are you doing?

661
00:31:46,363 --> 00:31:48,322
I'm not Constantine. My name is Kermit.

662
00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:50,866
Constantine, always with the jokes!

663
00:31:51,034 --> 00:31:52,576
ALL LAUGHING)

664
00:31:53,161 --> 00:31:57,456
Good old Constantine.
Always trying to pull a fast one.

665
00:31:57,541 --> 00:31:58,541
(LAUGHING)

666
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:01,961
Old friend.

667
00:32:02,379 --> 00:32:03,629
Since you are back,

668
00:32:03,713 --> 00:32:06,298
I guess you are in charge
of prison again.

669
00:32:06,383 --> 00:32:09,468
Here, take prison crown.

670
00:32:09,553 --> 00:32:12,721
We have to readjust it again.
Sergei, you get on that.

671
00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:14,223
Take, take.

672
00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:16,559
(SIGHS)

673
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:19,812
Oh, thank you.

674
00:32:19,980 --> 00:32:21,480
Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

675
00:32:25,735 --> 00:32:27,027
Wait a minute.

676
00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:30,322
I've known Constantine for years.

677
00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:31,574
And he has never...

678
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:32,700
Ever...

679
00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:34,994
Said, "Thank you."

680
00:32:35,078 --> 00:32:38,247
Because I am not Constantine.

681
00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:41,083
(WHIMPERS)

682
00:32:41,751 --> 00:32:44,420
-How dare you?
-MISS POOGY: He's not Constantine!

683
00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:47,590
Let's throw him
in the recycling compacter!

684
00:32:47,674 --> 00:32:49,008
Yeah!

685
00:32:49,551 --> 00:32:50,634
MISS POOGY: Throw him
in the compacter!

686
00:32:50,719 --> 00:32:51,844
But I'm already green!

687
00:32:51,928 --> 00:32:53,053
MISS POOGY: Squash that frog!

688
00:32:54,431 --> 00:32:57,183
NADYA: Put the frog down.

689
00:32:59,102 --> 00:33:01,312
Or I will deploy.

690
00:33:01,563 --> 00:33:02,938
(KERMIT YELPS)

691
00:33:06,735 --> 00:33:08,027
(WHIMPERING)

692
00:33:08,945 --> 00:33:10,362
Where am I?

693
00:33:10,447 --> 00:33:11,697
The Gulag.

694
00:33:11,781 --> 00:33:13,157
A gulag?

695
00:33:13,241 --> 00:33:15,284
Gulag. The Big House.

696
00:33:15,452 --> 00:33:17,161
Casa Grande!

697
00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:18,704
ALL: The Big House!

698
00:33:18,788 --> 00:33:20,873
-Hit it, boys.
-ALL VOCALIZING)

699
00:33:20,957 --> 00:33:24,752
(SINGING) This is Russia's
premier state-funded hotel

700
00:33:25,712 --> 00:33:30,049
We're very proud
of our eclectic clientele

701
00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:34,553
Excellence in service since 1932

702
00:33:35,222 --> 00:33:39,225
don't believe what you read
in the online reviews

703
00:33:39,309 --> 00:33:42,895
lt's the Big House
The perfect getaway

704
00:33:42,979 --> 00:33:44,897
Welcome into the Big House

705
00:33:44,981 --> 00:33:47,525
You'll never get away

706
00:33:47,609 --> 00:33:52,821
lt's no Hilton or no Hyatt
But you will have a riot

707
00:33:53,406 --> 00:33:57,326
So please enjoy your stay

708
00:33:57,452 --> 00:33:58,661
Bah-dah-dah

709
00:33:58,745 --> 00:34:02,373
Here's the dining room
The menu is minimal

710
00:34:03,750 --> 00:34:07,836
What the cook does
to the food is criminal

711
00:34:07,921 --> 00:34:09,588
Pull up a seat, frog

712
00:34:09,673 --> 00:34:11,549
Grab yourself a stool

713
00:34:12,676 --> 00:34:14,635
May l recommend

714
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,554
You try our famous gruel?

715
00:34:16,638 --> 00:34:17,805
ln the Big House

716
00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:20,057
You'll never be alone

717
00:34:20,141 --> 00:34:22,851
Life ain't bad in the Big House

718
00:34:22,936 --> 00:34:24,728
-No, froggy, no
-(CHUCKLING)

719
00:34:24,813 --> 00:34:27,106
Check out after 10

720
00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:29,483
Or 1 1 years

721
00:34:30,944 --> 00:34:33,946
Make yourself at home

722
00:34:36,241 --> 00:34:40,202
Accommodation here is far superior

723
00:34:40,537 --> 00:34:42,246
Than anything else

724
00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:45,583
You will find in Siberia

725
00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:49,378
Let me know if
there's anything you need

726
00:34:49,462 --> 00:34:51,297
Everything is free

727
00:34:51,381 --> 00:34:53,549
Money back, guaranteed

728
00:34:53,633 --> 00:34:55,467
MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISONER:
ln the Big House

729
00:34:55,552 --> 00:34:57,469
You will not survive

730
00:34:57,554 --> 00:34:59,722
When you arrive in the Big House

731
00:34:59,806 --> 00:35:03,225
Run for your life

732
00:35:03,685 --> 00:35:05,728
(NADYA MIMICKING TRUMPET)

733
00:35:20,744 --> 00:35:21,827
MUPPET PRISONER: Two, three, four

734
00:35:21,911 --> 00:35:25,372
lt's the Big House
The perfect getaway

735
00:35:25,457 --> 00:35:27,750
Welcome into the Big House

736
00:35:27,834 --> 00:35:29,710
You'll never get away

737
00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:31,295
For your security

738
00:35:32,589 --> 00:35:34,089
l'll keep the only key

739
00:35:36,009 --> 00:35:40,262
Now, please enjoy your stay

740
00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:42,806
(YELLS)

741
00:35:43,016 --> 00:35:45,392
Listen, I'm telling you,
you've got the wrong frog!

742
00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:49,605
If you are not Constantine,
why do you have that mole?

743
00:35:49,689 --> 00:35:51,565
It's not real. Someone glued it to my lip.

744
00:35:51,649 --> 00:35:55,194
Sure, frog.
Everyone is innocent in a gulag.

745
00:35:55,779 --> 00:35:57,780
As far as authorities are concerned,

746
00:35:57,906 --> 00:35:59,406
you are Constantine.

747
00:35:59,574 --> 00:36:01,492
Glue or no glue.

748
00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:03,911
Who is this Constantine guy anyway?

749
00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:08,290
Abandoned as tadpole by his mother,

750
00:36:08,458 --> 00:36:13,253
Constantine was adopted by owner
of Russia's largest bomb factory,

751
00:36:13,421 --> 00:36:15,923
which he subsequently blew up.

752
00:36:16,424 --> 00:36:21,178
He is world's foremost explosives expert
and number one criminal.

753
00:36:21,763 --> 00:36:25,099
Well, listen, I can assure you
I'm terrified of bombs.

754
00:36:25,934 --> 00:36:27,434
Especially on stage. (CHUCKLES)

755
00:36:28,103 --> 00:36:30,229
That was bad on two levels.

756
00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,856
-(SIGHS)
-Make yourself comfortable.

757
00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:35,025
You're going to be here a while.

758
00:36:35,110 --> 00:36:37,820
I wouldn't be so sure.
My friends will be here soon!

759
00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:39,279
NADYA: Now, lights out!

760
00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:41,573
(CLATTERING)

761
00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:44,952
Turn them back on! I can't see anything.

762
00:36:46,371 --> 00:36:47,538
(GROANS)

763
00:36:47,622 --> 00:36:50,332
You have to wait until
I'm, like, out of the hallway.

764
00:36:50,417 --> 00:36:51,917
It's figure of speech.

765
00:36:52,794 --> 00:36:54,962
-(WHIMPERS)
-(MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY

766
00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,508
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

767
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:01,343
DOMINIC: Okay.

768
00:37:01,469 --> 00:37:04,012
It seems that Blood's key
is hidden in a marble bust

769
00:37:04,139 --> 00:37:06,515
of his accomplice,
Godfrey the Unknown,

770
00:37:06,599 --> 00:37:10,769
which is kept in the Statue Room
at the Prado Museum.

771
00:37:10,854 --> 00:37:11,895
CONSTANTINE: Perfect.

772
00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:15,441
We break in, steal the bust,
destroy it and grab key.

773
00:37:15,525 --> 00:37:18,152
Yeah, it's not that simple.
You see, no one knows

774
00:37:18,236 --> 00:37:19,820
what Godfrey the Unknown looked like.

775
00:37:19,946 --> 00:37:21,280
(LAUGHS) Of course not.

776
00:37:21,364 --> 00:37:23,866
He was second in command,
so no one cared.

777
00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:27,578
And there's 250 statues in that room.

778
00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:31,832
That may be problem.
Let me think, Number Two.

779
00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:34,293
(BREATHES DEEPLY Hmm...

780
00:37:34,961 --> 00:37:37,463
Excusez-moi, Kermie.
Do you have a moment?

781
00:37:37,547 --> 00:37:38,797
Kermit.

782
00:37:40,049 --> 00:37:42,759
I just wanted to say
that I accept your apology

783
00:37:42,844 --> 00:37:44,428
and I'm ready to put
our little disagreement

784
00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:46,889
or whatever it was, behind us.

785
00:37:46,973 --> 00:37:50,517
And, perhaps, I was a little
too eager about our wedding...

786
00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:52,686
Pig, I have question.

787
00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:55,981
Am I wearing sign
that says "Bother Me"?

788
00:37:56,065 --> 00:37:57,691
-(GASPING)
-(BARKING)

789
00:37:57,775 --> 00:38:00,569
-(MISS PIGGY SOBBING)
-What was that? What was that?

790
00:38:01,529 --> 00:38:04,615
Uh... I was in the middle of
evilly plotting.

791
00:38:04,699 --> 00:38:07,576
I do not like to be interrupted
while evilly plotting.

792
00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:09,995
If we're to get away with this,
you've got to keep up appearances.

793
00:38:10,079 --> 00:38:11,121
I am keeping up appearances.

794
00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:12,998
If you want the Crown Jewels,
stick to the plan.

795
00:38:13,082 --> 00:38:16,043
Do whatever the pig wants. Keep her
happy. Whatever she asks of you.

796
00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:18,545
Stupid frog!

797
00:38:20,548 --> 00:38:21,798
Stupid train!

798
00:38:21,883 --> 00:38:22,925
Mmm-hmm.

799
00:38:23,009 --> 00:38:24,468
I don't want to talk to you, Kermit.

800
00:38:25,762 --> 00:38:27,804
I said, I want you out!

801
00:38:27,889 --> 00:38:30,057
I don't think you know what you want.

802
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:31,350
-Yeah, I do. I just told you, I...
-Shh.

803
00:38:31,434 --> 00:38:33,519
You're my lady

804
00:38:33,603 --> 00:38:36,355
and I'm your man, baby.

805
00:38:36,439 --> 00:38:39,942
And that's why, if you stick with me,

806
00:38:40,026 --> 00:38:42,945
I can give you what you want. Hmm?

807
00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:47,783
(SINGING) Baby, stop right there

808
00:38:48,201 --> 00:38:50,118
Let me clear the air

809
00:38:50,286 --> 00:38:54,248
Baby, look into these eyes
Let me apologize

810
00:38:54,832 --> 00:38:56,583
l know what you're thinking of

811
00:38:56,668 --> 00:38:59,127
You're thinking, "Where's the love?"

812
00:38:59,295 --> 00:39:03,298
Babe, the love ain't gone
lt's here where it belongs

813
00:39:03,466 --> 00:39:07,553
l know what you're waiting for

814
00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:11,598
Well, you don't need to wait no more

815
00:39:11,766 --> 00:39:13,892
l can give you anything you want

816
00:39:14,060 --> 00:39:17,312
Give you anything you need

817
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,940
l'll make your dreams come true

818
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,859
Give you anything you want

819
00:39:23,027 --> 00:39:26,071
Fulfill your fantasies

820
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:29,408
l'll make your dreams come true

821
00:39:29,576 --> 00:39:31,535
You want a unicorn
l'll give it to you

822
00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:33,787
You want a puppy dog
l'll give it to you

823
00:39:33,871 --> 00:39:35,998
You want an ice cream cone
l'll give it to you

824
00:39:36,082 --> 00:39:38,125
You want a mortgage loan
l'll give it to you

825
00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:40,252
You want a satin pillow
l'll give it to you

826
00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:42,546
You want an armadillo
l'll give it to you

827
00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:44,673
You want a diamond ring
l'll give it to you

828
00:39:44,757 --> 00:39:47,175
You want a thingy-thing
l'll give it to you

829
00:39:47,260 --> 00:39:50,971
l know what you're waiting for

830
00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:55,475
Well, you don't need to wait no more

831
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,686
l can give you anything you want

832
00:39:57,979 --> 00:40:01,189
Give you anything you need

833
00:40:01,274 --> 00:40:04,276
l'll make your dreams come true

834
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:09,489
Give you anything you want
Fulfill your fantasies

835
00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:12,951
l'll make your dreams come true

836
00:40:13,161 --> 00:40:15,203
You want a taste of fame
l'll give it to you

837
00:40:15,288 --> 00:40:17,372
You want a little cupcake
l'll give it to you

838
00:40:17,457 --> 00:40:19,583
You want a cockatoo
l'll give it to you

839
00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:21,668
You want a kangaroo
l'll give it to you

840
00:40:21,794 --> 00:40:24,296
You want American car
l'll give it to you

841
00:40:24,547 --> 00:40:26,131
You want a Hollywood star
l'll give it to you

842
00:40:26,215 --> 00:40:28,175
You wanna go to the moon...

843
00:40:28,343 --> 00:40:30,677
l'll see what l can do

844
00:40:30,845 --> 00:40:34,556
l know what you're waiting for

845
00:40:34,891 --> 00:40:38,977
Well, you don't need to wait no more

846
00:40:39,145 --> 00:40:41,188
l can give you anything you want

847
00:40:41,481 --> 00:40:44,775
Give you anything you need

848
00:40:45,026 --> 00:40:47,778
l'll make your dreams come true

849
00:40:48,029 --> 00:40:50,364
Give you anything you want

850
00:40:50,531 --> 00:40:53,283
Fulfill your fantasies

851
00:40:53,576 --> 00:40:56,828
l'll make your dreams come true

852
00:40:57,830 --> 00:41:00,707
Ooh-ooh! Whoa

853
00:41:04,045 --> 00:41:05,796
-l'm singing
-Cockatoo

854
00:41:06,089 --> 00:41:07,631
-Yeah
-Kangaroo

855
00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:08,715
Ooh

856
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,217
ln Malibu

857
00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:11,426
l'll give it to you

858
00:41:11,552 --> 00:41:13,553
l'll make your dreams come true

859
00:41:13,638 --> 00:41:15,639
-Cockatoo
-Cockatoo

860
00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:17,557
-Kangaroo
-Kangaroo

861
00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:19,685
ln Malibu

862
00:41:19,769 --> 00:41:23,313
l'll make your dreams come true

863
00:41:23,940 --> 00:41:25,857
Oh, Kermie.

864
00:41:25,942 --> 00:41:28,110
You are what I've always wanted.

865
00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:29,945
-Uh, excuse us.
-Hmm?

866
00:41:30,071 --> 00:41:33,156
But we are all wondering,
what's the set list for tomorrow, chief?

867
00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:35,158
I don't care. Do whatever you want.

868
00:41:35,243 --> 00:41:36,326
MISS PIGGY: What?

869
00:41:36,411 --> 00:41:37,619
FLOYD: Is he serious?

870
00:41:38,996 --> 00:41:41,415
Uh, Kermit, could I do
indoor running of the bulls?

871
00:41:41,499 --> 00:41:43,667
Sure, Zongo. Who cares?

872
00:41:43,751 --> 00:41:45,544
Wow! Thank you, Kermit!

873
00:41:45,628 --> 00:41:48,422
Kermie, if he can do his thing,
why can't I sing my five songs?

874
00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:50,173
Well...

875
00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:52,217
You can. Who cares?

876
00:41:52,301 --> 00:41:54,219
We don't have time for all this stuff.

877
00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:56,805
We're up to a three-hour show, Kermit.

878
00:41:56,889 --> 00:42:00,726
You are forgetting one thing,
small man with glasses.

879
00:42:01,436 --> 00:42:04,187
I can give you what you want.

880
00:42:04,272 --> 00:42:05,564
All right!

881
00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:07,357
Okay. Indoor running the bulls.

882
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:09,776
Won't the show be terrible? Uh... Guys?

883
00:42:11,529 --> 00:42:13,321
(SIGHS) I'm so confused.

884
00:42:16,701 --> 00:42:18,702
(GROANING)

885
00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:21,288
Ah!

886
00:42:27,962 --> 00:42:30,380
Where are you guys?

887
00:42:30,465 --> 00:42:33,800
Looks like I'm gonna have to
break out of here myself.

888
00:42:37,305 --> 00:42:38,472
(SIGHS)

889
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,904
Okay, Kermit,
five minutes till showtime.

890
00:42:54,405 --> 00:42:56,072
-(BREATHING DEEPLY
-Uh...

891
00:42:56,157 --> 00:42:58,325
Kermit? Chief?

892
00:42:58,826 --> 00:43:00,160
-(GRUNTS)
-Whoa!

893
00:43:00,495 --> 00:43:01,495
(SCOOTER GROANS)

894
00:43:01,579 --> 00:43:02,579
Sorry.

895
00:43:02,830 --> 00:43:05,707
Oh, uh, no problem, chief.
Are you coming?

896
00:43:05,875 --> 00:43:09,377
No. I refuse to perform.
Do show without me.

897
00:43:09,837 --> 00:43:10,962
Sorry, one second.

898
00:43:11,047 --> 00:43:12,839
-Can I just have a quick word?
-CONSTANTINE: No.

899
00:43:12,924 --> 00:43:14,758
-DOMINIC: It's just, uh...
-What?

900
00:43:15,676 --> 00:43:17,886
DOMINIC: Okay, you have to go,
Number One.

901
00:43:18,012 --> 00:43:20,222
CONSTANTINE: No,
you can not make me go.

902
00:43:20,306 --> 00:43:22,098
You're the one who must go,
Number Two.

903
00:43:22,183 --> 00:43:24,351
DOMINIC: I can't go. I don't need to go.

904
00:43:24,435 --> 00:43:26,019
You're the one who needs to go,
Number One.

905
00:43:26,103 --> 00:43:27,646
-CONSTANTINE: I have idea.
-What?

906
00:43:27,730 --> 00:43:28,772
CONSTANTINE: We will
both go together.

907
00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:30,357
DOMINIC: That would look weird.

908
00:43:30,650 --> 00:43:34,069
I'm begging you, go. Go, Number One.

909
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,072
CONSTANTINE: I cannot.
Not after what happened last time.

910
00:43:40,034 --> 00:43:41,993
DOMINIC: Look at this. This might help.

911
00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:44,496
lt's The Muppet Show,

912
00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:46,998
with our very special
guest star, Lynn Redgrave.

913
00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:48,500
Yay!

914
00:43:49,669 --> 00:43:52,170
(IMITATING) Yes!

915
00:43:54,674 --> 00:43:57,300
Oh. Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog, here.

916
00:43:58,427 --> 00:43:59,719
Hi-lo.

917
00:43:59,804 --> 00:44:03,974
Kermit the Frog here.

918
00:44:05,351 --> 00:44:09,854
(SINGING) The lovers,
the dreamers and me

919
00:44:10,022 --> 00:44:16,236
The lovers, the dreamers and cheese

920
00:44:18,197 --> 00:44:20,198
Nailed it.

921
00:44:20,491 --> 00:44:21,616
(GRUNTS)

922
00:44:23,119 --> 00:44:24,369
It's El Muppet Show,

923
00:44:24,453 --> 00:44:27,289
with our very special guest,
Salma Hayek.

924
00:44:27,373 --> 00:44:29,124
Hey!

925
00:44:29,375 --> 00:44:31,167
(PLAYING SPANISH GUITAR RIFF)

926
00:44:33,504 --> 00:44:35,422
(SINGING THEME IN SPANISH)

927
00:44:50,521 --> 00:44:52,939
-Would you look at that?
-No.

928
00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:54,482
Good idea.

929
00:44:55,192 --> 00:44:56,818
(SINGING IN SPANISH)

930
00:45:13,210 --> 00:45:14,586
(CHEERING)

931
00:45:15,129 --> 00:45:16,129
(LAUGHS)

932
00:45:18,424 --> 00:45:22,385
Yes! Hello and welcome
to El Muppet Show.

933
00:45:22,637 --> 00:45:26,598
Please welcome our opening act,
the Great Gonzo

934
00:45:26,682 --> 00:45:30,143
and the indoor running of the bulls!

935
00:45:30,269 --> 00:45:31,728
AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)

936
00:45:31,896 --> 00:45:35,523
Yes, yes. I am Kermit. Mm-hmm. Yes.

937
00:45:35,816 --> 00:45:37,942
Okay, chief. Wrap it up.

938
00:45:38,277 --> 00:45:43,239
One minute, please.
Let me drink it in. Ah...

939
00:45:43,491 --> 00:45:46,534
Gonzo? Gonzo, I don't want to do this.

940
00:45:46,952 --> 00:45:48,536
What? This is gonna be great.

941
00:45:48,621 --> 00:45:49,829
Are you sure about this?

942
00:45:49,914 --> 00:45:52,457
Nope. Come on. Let's go.

943
00:45:56,379 --> 00:45:58,797
-Where have you been?
-On stage.

944
00:45:58,881 --> 00:45:59,923
-Why did the...
-(BULLS BELLOWING)

945
00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:04,886
(GONZO SCREAMING)

946
00:46:10,226 --> 00:46:11,267
(BOTH SCREAMING)

947
00:46:11,352 --> 00:46:14,062
The bulls are out of control!
Who could have foreseen this?

948
00:46:14,146 --> 00:46:16,940
Me. I did.

949
00:46:17,024 --> 00:46:19,192
Here they come again!

950
00:46:19,860 --> 00:46:21,653
Okay. Sorry about that, folks,

951
00:46:21,737 --> 00:46:26,282
but now put your hands together
for Miss Piggy. Olé!

952
00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:28,743
(VOCALIZING)

953
00:46:31,580 --> 00:46:33,707
(SINGING IN SPANISH)

954
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:42,924
(SINGING) Don't you worry
about my boyfriend

955
00:46:43,008 --> 00:46:45,719
The boy whose name is Kermitino

956
00:46:45,803 --> 00:46:47,262
(BOTH GROANING)

957
00:46:47,346 --> 00:46:48,722
I don't believe it.

958
00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:51,015
They've managed the impossible.
What an achievement!

959
00:46:51,100 --> 00:46:52,392
Bravo! Bravo!

960
00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:54,728
What? You mean you actually
like this show now?

961
00:46:54,812 --> 00:46:57,605
No! They've made the show even worse!

962
00:46:57,690 --> 00:46:58,857
(BOTH LAUGHING)

963
00:46:58,941 --> 00:47:00,734
-Bravo! Bravo!
-Amazing!

964
00:47:00,818 --> 00:47:02,444
-(STATUES SMASHING)
-DOMINIC: Where is it?

965
00:47:02,528 --> 00:47:04,362
CONSTANTINE:
It's got to be here somewhere.

966
00:47:04,447 --> 00:47:06,364
Keep smashing, Number Two.

967
00:47:06,449 --> 00:47:07,949
DOMINIC: What do you think I'm doing?
I'm smashing.

968
00:47:08,033 --> 00:47:09,993
CONSTANTINE: Where is that key?

969
00:47:13,789 --> 00:47:16,374
DOMINIC: The last one.
It better be in here.

970
00:47:16,459 --> 00:47:19,961
He looks a little bit like you,
Number Two.

971
00:47:20,796 --> 00:47:21,963
(GRUNTS)

972
00:47:24,049 --> 00:47:25,508
DOMINIC: Colonel Blood's key.

973
00:47:25,593 --> 00:47:27,093
CONSTANTINE: Nice of him to label it.

974
00:47:27,511 --> 00:47:29,888
-So, where is the locket?
-There's more.

975
00:47:30,806 --> 00:47:33,183
(DOMINIC READING)

976
00:47:35,895 --> 00:47:38,688
Of course.
That's where Blood's locket is.

977
00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:41,274
In the vaults of the Irish National Bank.

978
00:47:41,358 --> 00:47:46,571
Then I know where Muppet tour
must stop next. Dublin.

979
00:47:47,364 --> 00:47:49,491
(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)

980
00:48:03,631 --> 00:48:04,631
Yeah!

981
00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:12,472
Drum solo!

982
00:48:22,399 --> 00:48:23,399
(SIGHS)

983
00:48:29,114 --> 00:48:30,323
(SNORING)

984
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:36,120
(SONG ENDS)

985
00:48:37,873 --> 00:48:39,040
Huh!

986
00:48:39,792 --> 00:48:41,000
ALL CHEERING)

987
00:48:43,254 --> 00:48:45,713
I knew audiences dug jam sessions.

988
00:48:46,715 --> 00:48:48,466
A standing ovation?

989
00:48:48,551 --> 00:48:50,134
CONSTANTINE: I am Kermit.

990
00:48:50,219 --> 00:48:52,929
I hope you enjoyed my show.

991
00:48:54,431 --> 00:48:57,392
I love you, Madrid!

992
00:48:57,476 --> 00:49:00,895
Wow, what an audience!
Great show, Kermit!

993
00:49:02,231 --> 00:49:04,732
They loved me, Kermie! They loved me!

994
00:49:05,192 --> 00:49:06,234
WALTER: Guys?

995
00:49:06,318 --> 00:49:08,027
I'm not sure that was such a great show.

996
00:49:08,112 --> 00:49:09,571
Like, what are you talking about?

997
00:49:09,655 --> 00:49:11,864
That jam was, like, totally epic.

998
00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:13,157
Exactly.

999
00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:14,909
And I'm glad to say
the Spanish reviewers

1000
00:49:14,994 --> 00:49:16,286
disagree with you as well, Walter.

1001
00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:17,745
They loved us.

1002
00:49:17,830 --> 00:49:20,999
Five out of fivejamón serranos.

1003
00:49:21,083 --> 00:49:23,042
Those reviews really came out fast.

1004
00:49:23,127 --> 00:49:25,044
And Citizen Kane only got
four jamón serranos.

1005
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:26,129
DOMINIC: And more good news.

1006
00:49:26,213 --> 00:49:29,382
Pack up, everyone.
I've booked our next gig. In Dublin.

1007
00:49:29,466 --> 00:49:33,595
Oh, great! Now we all
have time to rehearse.

1008
00:49:33,679 --> 00:49:35,597
Rehearse? Let's celebrate.

1009
00:49:35,681 --> 00:49:36,723
Yeah!

1010
00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:39,267
CONSTANTINE: Yes!
You deserve it, comrades!

1011
00:49:39,351 --> 00:49:42,353
Go do whatever you want.

1012
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:52,614
(GUARD WHIMPERS)

1013
00:49:53,032 --> 00:49:55,783
Looks like we are busted.

1014
00:50:05,919 --> 00:50:08,796
(GRUMBLING) Exactly
what are we doing today?

1015
00:50:08,881 --> 00:50:11,382
I am doing my job.

1016
00:50:11,467 --> 00:50:15,720
All we need to do is look at the map
with the blinky lights, and wait.

1017
00:50:15,804 --> 00:50:17,597
This is how it is done here in Europe.

1018
00:50:17,681 --> 00:50:21,392
In America, we use 3-D
satellite LED displays.

1019
00:50:21,477 --> 00:50:24,103
Not cardboard with Christmas
lights stuck through it.

1020
00:50:24,605 --> 00:50:26,481
A blinky light! She is blinking! Let's go.

1021
00:50:26,565 --> 00:50:28,399
(BEEPING)

1022
00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:32,195
What is this? A toy?

1023
00:50:32,279 --> 00:50:35,657
This is my car, Le Maximum.

1024
00:50:35,741 --> 00:50:40,286
It is illegal now in most of
the EU for its massive size.

1025
00:50:42,539 --> 00:50:45,166
It's so needlessly spacious, I feel guilty.

1026
00:50:47,336 --> 00:50:48,753
(JEAN PIERRE YELLS IN FRENCH)

1027
00:50:50,214 --> 00:50:52,799
SAM THE EAGLE: I hate Europe.

1028
00:50:55,636 --> 00:50:58,971
Ah, this is the life, mon ami.

1029
00:50:59,181 --> 00:51:03,559
Out on the open road
with no schedule at all.

1030
00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:05,019
Except for Madrid.

1031
00:51:05,145 --> 00:51:06,145
(HORN BEEPING)

1032
00:51:06,647 --> 00:51:07,814
JEAN PIERRE: Get out of the way.

1033
00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:08,981
SAM THE EAGLE: Stay on the road!

1034
00:51:09,066 --> 00:51:10,316
JEAN PIERRE: Interpol!

1035
00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:11,734
Excusez-moi.

1036
00:51:11,819 --> 00:51:13,027
MAN: Watch out, everyone!

1037
00:51:13,487 --> 00:51:15,655
JEAN PIERRE: 37 hours. Not bad.

1038
00:51:18,700 --> 00:51:20,118
The Lemur. I knew it.

1039
00:51:20,202 --> 00:51:21,619
This doesn't make any sense.

1040
00:51:21,703 --> 00:51:24,414
Why break in,
smash some priceless busts

1041
00:51:24,498 --> 00:51:26,374
and then not steal anything?

1042
00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:28,334
There must be something bigger
going on.

1043
00:51:28,419 --> 00:51:29,460
-But what?
-(CLOCK BELL TOLLING)

1044
00:51:29,545 --> 00:51:30,795
Ah, I've got it!

1045
00:51:30,879 --> 00:51:33,506
Oh, sorry. 2:00 PM. My day is over.

1046
00:51:36,218 --> 00:51:39,470
Wait. Those weirdos, the Muppets,

1047
00:51:39,555 --> 00:51:41,556
were performing next
to the crime scene in Berlin.

1048
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:42,598
And here they are,

1049
00:51:42,683 --> 00:51:45,393
performing right next
to the crime scene in Madrid!

1050
00:51:45,477 --> 00:51:47,395
You know what that means.

1051
00:51:47,479 --> 00:51:49,730
-Yes, they love museums!
-No!

1052
00:51:49,815 --> 00:51:50,940
They're suspects!

1053
00:51:51,024 --> 00:51:52,900
Okay. Overtime.

1054
00:51:52,985 --> 00:51:55,570
We must find these Muppets
before they flee the country.

1055
00:51:55,654 --> 00:51:57,113
To the train station!

1056
00:52:02,411 --> 00:52:04,871
Hey, Larry, want a bite of my bocadillos?

1057
00:52:06,665 --> 00:52:07,665
(WOMAN YELPS)

1058
00:52:07,749 --> 00:52:08,958
-What the...
-Ah!

1059
00:52:09,751 --> 00:52:12,712
Are you all Les Muppets?

1060
00:52:14,089 --> 00:52:15,756
Wow, those are big badges!

1061
00:52:16,258 --> 00:52:17,675
-Thank you.
-Merci...

1062
00:52:18,886 --> 00:52:22,305
Come, come. You must come with us
to answer some questions.

1063
00:52:25,434 --> 00:52:28,769
(SINGING) Kermit, let's begin
describe the day you played Berlin

1064
00:52:28,854 --> 00:52:31,022
We rehearsed,
and then we walked about

1065
00:52:31,106 --> 00:52:33,608
We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut

1066
00:52:33,692 --> 00:52:35,401
That night at 10:03

1067
00:52:35,486 --> 00:52:37,737
Were you inside the portrait gallery?

1068
00:52:38,030 --> 00:52:40,156
From ten o'clock till 10:04

1069
00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:42,158
Was when we did the show's encore

1070
00:52:42,242 --> 00:52:44,452
Hmm, frog we've got our doubts

1071
00:52:44,578 --> 00:52:46,704
Can you confirm your whereabouts?

1072
00:52:46,872 --> 00:52:49,081
My alibi is watertight

1073
00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:51,250
The audience saw me sing all night

1074
00:52:51,585 --> 00:52:53,669
Monsieur, we know you did the crime

1075
00:52:53,754 --> 00:52:55,755
l was on stage that whole time

1076
00:52:55,881 --> 00:52:58,090
Ask who sang Rainbow Connection

1077
00:52:58,175 --> 00:53:00,927
Thank you, Kermit, no more questions

1078
00:53:02,471 --> 00:53:06,849
Allô. I think it's time for
good cop/romantic cop.

1079
00:53:06,934 --> 00:53:09,018
(SINGING) Miss Piggy,
you could end up locked inside

1080
00:53:09,353 --> 00:53:11,979
And now's your chance
to save your hide

1081
00:53:12,064 --> 00:53:13,898
Oh, gentlemen, l did not know

1082
00:53:13,982 --> 00:53:16,317
lt's a crime to steal the show

1083
00:53:16,401 --> 00:53:18,402
Tell us how the art was taken

1084
00:53:18,487 --> 00:53:20,905
lf you want to save your bacon

1085
00:53:20,989 --> 00:53:22,740
l haven't seen your missing art

1086
00:53:22,824 --> 00:53:25,117
All l've stolen is audience hearts

1087
00:53:25,452 --> 00:53:27,662
We can give you a plea deal

1088
00:53:27,955 --> 00:53:29,539
All you have to do is squeal

1089
00:53:29,748 --> 00:53:31,832
l'm not a thief
l don't know how

1090
00:53:31,917 --> 00:53:33,876
All l've ever taken is a bow

1091
00:53:34,127 --> 00:53:35,461
We'll catch the swine

1092
00:53:35,546 --> 00:53:37,171
That did this job

1093
00:53:37,256 --> 00:53:38,673
Give up the pig puns, creep!

1094
00:53:38,757 --> 00:53:40,758
Go jump in a lake, that's my suggestion

1095
00:53:40,842 --> 00:53:43,678
Thank you, Piggy, no more questions

1096
00:53:44,137 --> 00:53:45,513
I think she likes me. Huh?

1097
00:53:45,597 --> 00:53:48,182
I don't think your puns
are helping the investigation.

1098
00:53:48,267 --> 00:53:50,017
-You know, l think they did it
-No, they didn't

1099
00:53:50,102 --> 00:53:51,727
Yes, they did and we can pin it

1100
00:53:51,812 --> 00:53:52,812
lf they did how did they do it?

1101
00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:53,896
lf they didn't how did they didn't?

1102
00:53:53,981 --> 00:53:56,190
lf they didn't then it's easy
'cause they simply didn't do it

1103
00:53:56,275 --> 00:54:00,236
lf they did it, then l knew it
but we've nothing that can prove it

1104
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:02,029
-(CLEARS THROAT) Oh. Excuse me.
-(GROANS)

1105
00:54:02,614 --> 00:54:04,240
Bring in the purple guy
with the schnoz.

1106
00:54:05,826 --> 00:54:07,702
do you remember what you did

1107
00:54:07,786 --> 00:54:09,537
On the night you played Madrid?

1108
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,123
l was hit by a raging bull

1109
00:54:12,207 --> 00:54:14,125
And rushed off stage to the hospital

1110
00:54:14,209 --> 00:54:16,294
Gonzo, what do you know

1111
00:54:16,378 --> 00:54:18,879
About a sculpture theft
at Madrid's Prado

1112
00:54:19,047 --> 00:54:21,048
l never saw the stolen busts

1113
00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:23,342
l spent the night in bed concussed

1114
00:54:23,552 --> 00:54:25,344
The truth, Gonzo the clock is tickin'

1115
00:54:25,637 --> 00:54:27,638
lf you don't believe me ask the chicken

1116
00:54:27,848 --> 00:54:29,849
Camilla was there she'll cooperate

1117
00:54:30,225 --> 00:54:32,184
Madame, are you willing
to corroborate?

1118
00:54:32,311 --> 00:54:33,603
(CLUCKING FRANTICALLY

1119
00:54:34,479 --> 00:54:36,022
Will someone get
this chicken out of here?

1120
00:54:36,690 --> 00:54:39,025
Calm down, Camilla
it's a routine inspection

1121
00:54:39,234 --> 00:54:42,028
Thank you, Gonzo
no more questions

1122
00:54:48,118 --> 00:54:50,036
Let's go from the start

1123
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,204
What do you know about the stolen art?

1124
00:54:52,289 --> 00:54:54,582
l didn't know there was a plan

1125
00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:56,876
Your accusation's far out, man

1126
00:54:56,960 --> 00:55:01,505
The chances of us committing
a crime are less than .009

1127
00:55:01,632 --> 00:55:03,507
(SPEAKING MOCK SWEDISH)

1128
00:55:06,219 --> 00:55:08,387
To help with our investigation

1129
00:55:08,472 --> 00:55:11,057
Could someone provide
a full translation?

1130
00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:13,309
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

1131
00:55:15,562 --> 00:55:16,979
-(QUACKING)
-(YELLING)

1132
00:55:17,230 --> 00:55:18,230
(LAUGHS)

1133
00:55:19,191 --> 00:55:21,651
(SINGING) Uh, l can
do an Elvis impression

1134
00:55:21,902 --> 00:55:24,862
Thank you, Muppets
No more questions

1135
00:55:26,073 --> 00:55:27,031
-They didn't
-No, they didn't

1136
00:55:27,115 --> 00:55:28,115
There's no way they did the crime

1137
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:30,534
-They couldn't, they're too stupid
-Not criminal masterminds

1138
00:55:30,619 --> 00:55:32,495
We do not know who did it
But we know who didn't do it

1139
00:55:32,579 --> 00:55:33,788
So we know who didn't do it

1140
00:55:33,872 --> 00:55:37,416
Yes, we know who didn't do it

1141
00:55:37,959 --> 00:55:40,294
They're incapable of being culpable!

1142
00:55:41,088 --> 00:55:42,088
Hi!

1143
00:55:42,172 --> 00:55:44,382
SAM THE EAGLE: Come on.
Let's go over the files again.

1144
00:55:44,925 --> 00:55:46,676
(GUARDS SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

1145
00:56:04,027 --> 00:56:05,027
(SCREAMS)

1146
00:56:05,112 --> 00:56:06,946
Stop digging escape tunnel, frog.

1147
00:56:07,322 --> 00:56:08,698
How did you know?

1148
00:56:08,782 --> 00:56:10,908
It's the first escape everyone tries.

1149
00:56:17,249 --> 00:56:19,875
-(SCREAMS)
-That's the second escape people try.

1150
00:56:20,293 --> 00:56:21,502
(GRUNTING)

1151
00:56:22,629 --> 00:56:24,088
(TOILET FLUSHES)

1152
00:56:26,508 --> 00:56:27,717
Oh, boy.

1153
00:56:33,432 --> 00:56:34,390
Third way!

1154
00:56:34,474 --> 00:56:35,474
(SCREAMS)

1155
00:56:35,976 --> 00:56:37,518
Give up, frog.

1156
00:56:37,602 --> 00:56:38,853
I have Netflix account

1157
00:56:38,937 --> 00:56:41,439
with search keywords "prison escape."

1158
00:56:41,523 --> 00:56:43,482
I have seen
every prison movie ever made.

1159
00:56:43,567 --> 00:56:45,359
Even the ones in space.

1160
00:56:45,902 --> 00:56:46,944
(SIGHS)

1161
00:56:47,028 --> 00:56:48,904
Yeah, well... (GASPS)
Hey, wait a second.

1162
00:56:48,989 --> 00:56:50,865
That's them! That's my friends!

1163
00:56:50,949 --> 00:56:51,991
What happened to them?

1164
00:56:53,827 --> 00:56:55,536
"Dominic Badguy.

1165
00:56:55,620 --> 00:56:57,580
"An interview with the brains behind

1166
00:56:57,664 --> 00:57:00,249
"the Muppets' triumphant
comeback world tour."

1167
00:57:00,333 --> 00:57:01,333
What?

1168
00:57:01,793 --> 00:57:05,212
It seems your friends
do not need you anymore.

1169
00:57:05,297 --> 00:57:07,339
They have forgotten about you.

1170
00:57:07,424 --> 00:57:08,924
Oh, no, no, no.

1171
00:57:10,135 --> 00:57:12,094
They wouldn't.

1172
00:57:13,847 --> 00:57:16,098
They couldn't.

1173
00:57:16,183 --> 00:57:17,475
We're a family.

1174
00:57:17,559 --> 00:57:18,559
"Family"?

1175
00:57:18,643 --> 00:57:21,645
No one believes in family
in the Gulag, frog.

1176
00:57:21,730 --> 00:57:25,524
People are only ever out for themselves.

1177
00:57:26,026 --> 00:57:27,276
(SIGHS)

1178
00:57:32,324 --> 00:57:34,033
Listen, Kermit.

1179
00:57:34,117 --> 00:57:37,328
We have annual lighthearted
Gulag Revue coming up.

1180
00:57:37,412 --> 00:57:38,871
It is that, or they riot.

1181
00:57:38,955 --> 00:57:40,873
-I thought you might help me.
-Uh...

1182
00:57:42,417 --> 00:57:44,043
The thing is, Nadya,

1183
00:57:44,127 --> 00:57:46,796
I'm sort of done doing that,
but thanks for the offer.

1184
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:49,340
This is not offer. This is prison.

1185
00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:50,966
You are going to help me.

1186
00:57:51,051 --> 00:57:53,803
Rehearsals tomorrow, 4:00 AM.

1187
00:57:53,887 --> 00:57:56,806
Or I put you on The Wall.

1188
00:57:57,390 --> 00:57:58,390
"The Wall"?

1189
00:57:58,475 --> 00:58:00,976
Why would I be afraid of a wall?

1190
00:58:02,938 --> 00:58:04,522
Ugh! (GRUNTING)

1191
00:58:07,526 --> 00:58:11,737
Just direct the show.
You'll never escape.

1192
00:58:16,660 --> 00:58:18,911
What time did you say
that rehearsal was?

1193
00:58:20,956 --> 00:58:21,956
Ouch!

1194
00:58:26,962 --> 00:58:29,004
JEAN PIERRE: Okay.
What about this comedian bear?

1195
00:58:29,089 --> 00:58:33,008
He is too stupid to be stupid.
He must be some sort of genius.

1196
00:58:34,135 --> 00:58:38,055
Maybe your "Lemur" hunch is correct.

1197
00:58:38,890 --> 00:58:40,015
(SIGHS)

1198
00:58:40,725 --> 00:58:42,476
Except for the fact that Les Muppets

1199
00:58:42,561 --> 00:58:45,563
play tomorrow night
at the Dublin Theater.

1200
00:58:45,647 --> 00:58:49,441
Which just happens to be next door
to the Irish National Bank!

1201
00:58:49,776 --> 00:58:51,694
Maybe your Muppet hunch is...

1202
00:58:53,238 --> 00:58:54,738
Correct.

1203
00:58:54,823 --> 00:58:56,699
It's almost as if we're...

1204
00:58:56,783 --> 00:58:58,200
BOTH: Not so different

1205
00:58:58,285 --> 00:58:59,368
after

1206
00:59:00,537 --> 00:59:01,912
all.

1207
00:59:02,289 --> 00:59:03,998
Come, come, mon ami!

1208
00:59:04,082 --> 00:59:05,791
We must follow Les Muppets to Dublin!

1209
00:59:05,875 --> 00:59:07,042
To Dublin!

1210
00:59:07,127 --> 00:59:08,544
-Après vous.
-No, no, after you.

1211
00:59:08,670 --> 00:59:10,462
-No, après vous.
-No, please, after you.

1212
00:59:10,547 --> 00:59:12,214
-Mon cher ami, après vous.
-I insist.

1213
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:17,678
CONSTANTINE: Kremlin!

1214
00:59:17,762 --> 00:59:18,762
Huh?

1215
00:59:20,307 --> 00:59:21,348
Putin!

1216
00:59:24,102 --> 00:59:26,895
MISS PIGGY: No, what are you doing?

1217
00:59:27,564 --> 00:59:29,690
-Okay, number five, baby. Blow.
-Come on.

1218
00:59:29,774 --> 00:59:31,817
-There you go. You know the routine.
-Come on, Diddy Daddy!

1219
00:59:31,901 --> 00:59:32,943
(CHEERING)

1220
00:59:33,069 --> 00:59:35,154
-Hey, guys? Fellas?
-Whoa!

1221
00:59:35,238 --> 00:59:36,238
Ah!

1222
00:59:36,364 --> 00:59:37,823
ZOOT: Whoa, man!

1223
00:59:38,116 --> 00:59:39,491
Hey, did you see that?

1224
00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:41,327
-(WHISTLES LOUDLY
-Huh?

1225
00:59:41,661 --> 00:59:45,331
Um, do you guys think that Kermit's
been acting a little weird lately?

1226
00:59:45,749 --> 00:59:47,416
ALL: No.

1227
00:59:47,792 --> 00:59:49,001
(SIGHS)

1228
00:59:49,085 --> 00:59:52,129
You're probably right. It's just me.

1229
00:59:52,547 --> 00:59:54,965
(SIGHING) Bad frog.

1230
01:00:00,180 --> 01:00:02,931
ALL: (SINGING TUNELESSLY
Come to the end of the road

1231
01:00:03,016 --> 01:00:04,558
Still l can't

1232
01:00:04,976 --> 01:00:07,519
Let go

1233
01:00:08,271 --> 01:00:10,189
lt's unnatural

1234
01:00:10,273 --> 01:00:12,524
You belong to me

1235
01:00:12,609 --> 01:00:15,027
l belong to you

1236
01:00:15,111 --> 01:00:16,362
Enough!

1237
01:00:16,863 --> 01:00:18,781
You're all terrible.

1238
01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:21,533
Fix this. Or it's The Wall.

1239
01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:22,785
Oh.

1240
01:00:23,745 --> 01:00:24,745
Of course.

1241
01:00:25,330 --> 01:00:27,081
Guys, um... (CLEARS THROAT)

1242
01:00:27,165 --> 01:00:30,125
It's always good to start
with an up-tempo song and dance

1243
01:00:30,210 --> 01:00:31,877
and then go into a comedy routine.

1244
01:00:31,961 --> 01:00:33,837
But we like Boyz II Men!

1245
01:00:33,922 --> 01:00:37,675
It is Big Papa's favorite song.
Lot of emotions in that song for him.

1246
01:00:37,759 --> 01:00:40,928
I'm not learning no other song.
I'm a triple threat!

1247
01:00:41,012 --> 01:00:43,847
A singer, a dancer and a murderer!

1248
01:00:44,849 --> 01:00:46,975
There you go. How do you like that?

1249
01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:48,268
Drum solo! Drum solo!

1250
01:00:48,353 --> 01:00:49,770
When do I do
the indoor running of the bulls?

1251
01:00:49,854 --> 01:00:52,606
What about the band's
marathon jam session?

1252
01:00:52,691 --> 01:00:54,733
Four or five musical numbers.

1253
01:00:54,818 --> 01:00:56,402
Quiet!

1254
01:00:56,778 --> 01:00:58,904
Now, look! This song does not work.

1255
01:00:58,988 --> 01:01:02,408
It's a six-part harmony, for crying out
loud! Forget it, it's not happening.

1256
01:01:02,492 --> 01:01:03,659
Now you...

1257
01:01:03,910 --> 01:01:06,495
You're... You're not eyeballing me.
Are you eyeballing me?

1258
01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:08,247
-No, no.
-Are you eyeballing me?

1259
01:01:08,415 --> 01:01:11,375
Now, look! We are holding
auditions tomorrow.

1260
01:01:11,459 --> 01:01:13,168
And if any of you
have a problem with that,

1261
01:01:13,253 --> 01:01:17,131
any of you, then my door is always open!

1262
01:01:17,507 --> 01:01:19,133
(PANTING)

1263
01:01:20,051 --> 01:01:21,677
Thank you, Kermit.

1264
01:01:21,761 --> 01:01:24,012
This is what we've all
been waiting to hear.

1265
01:01:25,473 --> 01:01:26,473
Teach us, Kermit.

1266
01:01:26,558 --> 01:01:29,351
We will do whatever frog say.

1267
01:01:30,603 --> 01:01:32,438
Put it there.

1268
01:01:37,777 --> 01:01:40,279
Good night, frog. Nice work today.

1269
01:01:40,363 --> 01:01:41,655
Thanks, Nadya.

1270
01:01:41,740 --> 01:01:45,659
Even if your friends
don't need you, we certainly do.

1271
01:01:46,119 --> 01:01:47,202
Good night.

1272
01:01:49,581 --> 01:01:51,874
-Good night, Big Papa.
-'Night, Nadya.

1273
01:01:51,958 --> 01:01:54,126
-Good night, Carl.
-Good night, Nadya.

1274
01:01:54,210 --> 01:01:56,587
-Good night, Prison King.
-Good night, Nadya.

1275
01:01:56,671 --> 01:01:58,922
-Good night, Skullcrusher.
-Good night.

1276
01:01:59,007 --> 01:02:02,593
-Good night, Danny Trejo.
-Good night, Nadya.

1277
01:02:04,387 --> 01:02:08,307
NADYA: No one believes in family
in the Gulag, frog.

1278
01:02:08,391 --> 01:02:11,810
People are only
ever out for themselves.

1279
01:02:24,073 --> 01:02:25,449
(SIGHING)

1280
01:02:36,169 --> 01:02:37,169
(WHISTLE BLOWING)

1281
01:02:46,387 --> 01:02:48,639
WALTER: Well, well, well.

1282
01:02:48,932 --> 01:02:50,599
What's he up to?

1283
01:02:53,603 --> 01:02:55,646
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY

1284
01:02:57,190 --> 01:02:58,857
Hmm.

1285
01:03:06,699 --> 01:03:07,783
Huh?

1286
01:03:09,619 --> 01:03:11,662
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY

1287
01:03:32,892 --> 01:03:34,059
(GASPS)

1288
01:03:34,602 --> 01:03:36,061
(PANTING)

1289
01:03:39,274 --> 01:03:40,357
DOMINIC: Gentlemen.

1290
01:03:41,401 --> 01:03:44,152
I need this review
to go into Friday's paper.

1291
01:03:44,237 --> 01:03:46,154
Super positive. Five stars.

1292
01:03:46,239 --> 01:03:49,700
I won't be paid off for a review.
I'm a journalist.

1293
01:03:50,368 --> 01:03:52,452
I'm joking, of course. Cash or credit?

1294
01:03:53,204 --> 01:03:54,705
-(STATUE BREAKING)
-Oh!

1295
01:03:54,789 --> 01:03:57,165
-What was that?
-Rats.

1296
01:03:57,584 --> 01:03:59,251
Who cares?

1297
01:04:02,547 --> 01:04:03,714
(WHISTLES)

1298
01:04:03,798 --> 01:04:05,757
Hand these tickets out
to anyone who will take one.

1299
01:04:05,842 --> 01:04:08,552
In fact, you may have to
actually pay people to come.

1300
01:04:08,636 --> 01:04:11,221
-It's the Muppets. It's not gonna be easy.
-Mmm. Oh.

1301
01:04:11,306 --> 01:04:12,472
And I want a standing ovation.

1302
01:04:13,808 --> 01:04:14,975
Oh, dear.

1303
01:04:15,059 --> 01:04:18,437
Where does he keep
all those suitcases?

1304
01:04:19,647 --> 01:04:20,939
(MUNCHING)

1305
01:04:23,985 --> 01:04:26,361
FOZZIE: Hmm. Let's see here.

1306
01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:31,742
What's Kermit doing on
the cover of this newspaper?

1307
01:04:34,203 --> 01:04:35,203
(SHRIEKS)

1308
01:04:35,496 --> 01:04:36,788
(LAUGHS)

1309
01:04:36,998 --> 01:04:38,457
(PANTING) Oh! Ow!

1310
01:04:38,833 --> 01:04:40,167
Dominic's the bad guy!
Dominic's the bad guy!

1311
01:04:40,585 --> 01:04:41,585
-Fozzie!
-Mmm?

1312
01:04:41,669 --> 01:04:44,588
Dominic's the reason
we've been selling out our shows!

1313
01:04:44,672 --> 01:04:46,173
He's been giving away tickets

1314
01:04:46,257 --> 01:04:48,759
and bribing journalists
to write great reviews!

1315
01:04:48,843 --> 01:04:51,261
(GROANS) Why didn't
we ever think of doing that?

1316
01:04:51,346 --> 01:04:52,346
Huh?

1317
01:04:52,555 --> 01:04:55,432
I mean, that's terrible!

1318
01:04:55,516 --> 01:04:57,017
The question is, why?

1319
01:04:57,101 --> 01:04:58,602
And could it have anything to do with

1320
01:04:58,686 --> 01:05:01,772
why Kermit's been
acting so weird lately?

1321
01:05:01,856 --> 01:05:02,939
Hey, wanna see something funny?

1322
01:05:03,024 --> 01:05:05,359
Yes, Constantine,
the world's most dangerous frog.

1323
01:05:05,443 --> 01:05:07,527
Fozzie, what does he have to
do with what I just told you?

1324
01:05:07,612 --> 01:05:09,529
Nothing, but check this out.

1325
01:05:09,614 --> 01:05:10,947
A-ha!

1326
01:05:11,032 --> 01:05:12,532
Oh, look, it's Kermit.

1327
01:05:12,659 --> 01:05:14,117
FOZZIE: A-ha!

1328
01:05:14,202 --> 01:05:16,828
(SHRIEKS) What did you do
with Kermit?

1329
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:18,205
(LIGHTNING CRASHES)

1330
01:05:18,289 --> 01:05:19,706
Wait a minute.

1331
01:05:20,500 --> 01:05:21,541
Fozzie...

1332
01:05:22,543 --> 01:05:25,879
What if Kermit has been replaced

1333
01:05:25,963 --> 01:05:28,882
by this Constantine guy?

1334
01:05:29,801 --> 01:05:30,801
(BULB BUZZES)

1335
01:05:30,885 --> 01:05:34,221
Nah, that's impossible. We'd all notice!

1336
01:05:35,306 --> 01:05:36,306
Wouldn't we?

1337
01:05:36,683 --> 01:05:37,808
(KNOCKING)

1338
01:05:37,892 --> 01:05:39,059
Kermit?

1339
01:05:40,144 --> 01:05:41,853
Are... Are you there?

1340
01:05:43,356 --> 01:05:44,564
Hello?

1341
01:05:44,649 --> 01:05:45,899
FOZZIE: Kermit?

1342
01:05:47,068 --> 01:05:48,902
Everything's fine. Let's get out of here.

1343
01:05:48,986 --> 01:05:50,404
-Wait!
-Whoa!

1344
01:05:51,739 --> 01:05:53,865
We should look around.

1345
01:05:57,578 --> 01:05:58,620
(TICKING)

1346
01:05:58,705 --> 01:06:01,081
Huh. Kermit's got a big bomb collection.

1347
01:06:04,502 --> 01:06:07,796
Looks like he's planning
some sort of comedy heist bit.

1348
01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:09,840
I hope not. Those never work.

1349
01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:11,174
Mmm.

1350
01:06:11,426 --> 01:06:12,926
WALTER: What's that?

1351
01:06:21,352 --> 01:06:22,352
(GASPS)

1352
01:06:22,437 --> 01:06:23,478
Oh, no.

1353
01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:25,105
What, what, what? What?

1354
01:06:25,898 --> 01:06:27,232
Oh, no.

1355
01:06:32,864 --> 01:06:33,989
(BOTH SCREAMING)

1356
01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:42,789
-We got to get out of here!
-Yeah!

1357
01:06:43,124 --> 01:06:45,500
Not so fast.

1358
01:06:45,585 --> 01:06:46,668
Where's Kermit?

1359
01:06:46,753 --> 01:06:47,961
What do you want?

1360
01:06:48,045 --> 01:06:52,382
You have wocka-ed
your last wocka, bear.

1361
01:06:52,967 --> 01:06:53,967
(YELLS)

1362
01:06:54,802 --> 01:06:55,802
Huh?

1363
01:06:56,304 --> 01:06:58,388
-Bad frog!
-FOZZIE: Animal!

1364
01:06:58,473 --> 01:06:59,723
-Oh, good boy!
-Great job!

1365
01:06:59,807 --> 01:07:01,057
-Thank you.
-(GASPING)

1366
01:07:01,225 --> 01:07:02,225
(CONSTANTINE GROANS)

1367
01:07:03,436 --> 01:07:04,561
-(GROWLS)
-ALL SCREAM)

1368
01:07:05,438 --> 01:07:06,646
Quick! The freight train!

1369
01:07:06,731 --> 01:07:07,939
Go, go, go!

1370
01:07:08,649 --> 01:07:10,066
ALL YELLING)

1371
01:07:13,946 --> 01:07:15,197
(GROWLS)

1372
01:07:17,241 --> 01:07:18,241
(EXCLAIMS)

1373
01:07:18,326 --> 01:07:20,118
We got to go back! Warn the others!

1374
01:07:20,203 --> 01:07:22,329
I tried. They didn't believe me.

1375
01:07:22,413 --> 01:07:26,249
It's our word against his
and, well, he's fooled them all.

1376
01:07:26,334 --> 01:07:28,084
Should we go to the police?

1377
01:07:28,169 --> 01:07:29,920
We don't have any evidence!

1378
01:07:30,004 --> 01:07:31,880
(SIGHING) I feel terrible.

1379
01:07:31,964 --> 01:07:35,342
I'm the one who talked Kermit
into doing this tour in the first place.

1380
01:07:35,426 --> 01:07:38,678
Oh, I wish Kermit was here!
He would know what to do.

1381
01:07:39,972 --> 01:07:41,932
You're right.

1382
01:07:42,016 --> 01:07:44,768
There's only one guy
in this world who can save us.

1383
01:07:44,852 --> 01:07:47,729
Only one frog who can restore order,

1384
01:07:47,814 --> 01:07:49,564
bring justice,

1385
01:07:49,649 --> 01:07:51,691
and set things right!

1386
01:07:53,820 --> 01:07:56,154
You are talking about Kermit, right?

1387
01:07:56,239 --> 01:07:57,948
Yes, Fozzie. Kermit.

1388
01:07:58,282 --> 01:08:00,742
-(UPBEAT TUNE PLAYING ON PIANO )
-Turn, turn, out, in, jump, step,

1389
01:08:00,827 --> 01:08:02,619
step, kick, kick, leap, kick, touch.

1390
01:08:02,703 --> 01:08:05,872
Got it? From the top.
A-five, six, seven, eight.

1391
01:08:10,336 --> 01:08:11,628
ALL: (SINGING) God, l hope l get it

1392
01:08:11,963 --> 01:08:13,213
l hope l get it

1393
01:08:13,714 --> 01:08:16,299
-How many people does he need?
-How many people does he need?

1394
01:08:16,384 --> 01:08:17,801
God, l hope l get it

1395
01:08:18,386 --> 01:08:19,469
l hope l get it

1396
01:08:19,887 --> 01:08:21,513
How many boys, how many girls?

1397
01:08:21,597 --> 01:08:22,889
How many boys, how many?

1398
01:08:22,974 --> 01:08:25,851
Look at all the people
At all the people

1399
01:08:26,060 --> 01:08:27,769
MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISONER:
How many people does he need?

1400
01:08:27,854 --> 01:08:29,354
How many boys, how many girls?

1401
01:08:29,438 --> 01:08:31,273
How many people does he...

1402
01:08:31,440 --> 01:08:34,234
DANNY TREJO: l really need this job

1403
01:08:34,318 --> 01:08:37,821
Please, God, l need this job

1404
01:08:37,905 --> 01:08:41,324
l've got to get this job

1405
01:08:42,076 --> 01:08:43,702
Good!

1406
01:08:43,870 --> 01:08:44,995
Great!

1407
01:08:45,913 --> 01:08:47,747
That's it, guys, that's it!

1408
01:08:48,207 --> 01:08:50,709
That's good, guys! Come on!
And hit it hard!

1409
01:08:58,718 --> 01:09:01,803
(SINGING) l really need thisjob

1410
01:09:02,096 --> 01:09:05,098
Please, God, l need this job

1411
01:09:05,391 --> 01:09:10,854
l've got to get this job

1412
01:09:12,481 --> 01:09:15,317
Okay. All right. Yes.
(CLEARS THROAT)

1413
01:09:15,401 --> 01:09:16,526
Uh, Nadya?

1414
01:09:16,944 --> 01:09:20,947
I think perhaps we should,
perhaps, keep it prisoners only.

1415
01:09:21,365 --> 01:09:25,702
Of course. I just love Broadway.

1416
01:09:25,870 --> 01:09:29,289
But you are right, Kermit, as ever.

1417
01:09:30,708 --> 01:09:32,751
Okay. Thank you.

1418
01:09:33,002 --> 01:09:34,336
(CLEARS THROAT)

1419
01:09:34,420 --> 01:09:35,587
Okay, fellas, listen up.

1420
01:09:36,088 --> 01:09:37,714
Here's who made the cut.

1421
01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:40,967
Sergei! King! That's you.

1422
01:09:43,554 --> 01:09:47,641
You are always right,
my beautiful amphibian prince.

1423
01:09:48,768 --> 01:09:51,478
I will never let you go.

1424
01:09:53,272 --> 01:09:54,606
There is riot in block D.

1425
01:09:55,024 --> 01:09:56,107
Can't you see I'm busy?

1426
01:10:06,661 --> 01:10:08,036
This is better.

1427
01:10:08,829 --> 01:10:12,040
Oh... What's wrong? You only ever knit
when you're stressed.

1428
01:10:12,124 --> 01:10:13,083
CONSTANTINE: The bear,

1429
01:10:13,167 --> 01:10:18,088
the little guy and their dog,
they are onto us.

1430
01:10:18,172 --> 01:10:20,131
They got away.

1431
01:10:22,093 --> 01:10:24,094
How are we gonna spin this?

1432
01:10:27,431 --> 01:10:29,307
-Is that a scarf?
-Mmm.

1433
01:10:30,226 --> 01:10:32,394
-Is it a present for someone?
-Yes.

1434
01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:34,062
Who?

1435
01:10:34,313 --> 01:10:35,814
Not important.

1436
01:10:42,738 --> 01:10:46,658
CONSTANTINE: Comrades,
I'm afraid I have bad news.

1437
01:10:46,742 --> 01:10:51,454
Walter and Fonzie
have quit the Muppets.

1438
01:10:51,706 --> 01:10:53,081
-ALL GASP)
-LEW ZEALAND: Wait.

1439
01:10:53,165 --> 01:10:54,999
You can quit the Muppets?

1440
01:10:55,084 --> 01:10:57,711
Wait a second.
Walter quit the Muppets?

1441
01:10:57,795 --> 01:11:00,255
We just did a whole movie
where he joined the Muppets.

1442
01:11:00,673 --> 01:11:03,174
And I like totally cried
when he joined the Muppets.

1443
01:11:03,426 --> 01:11:06,177
Yeah, we sure spent a lot of time on it.

1444
01:11:06,262 --> 01:11:07,262
RIZZO: Ha! I'll say.

1445
01:11:07,346 --> 01:11:11,516
Maybe even at the expense of other
long-standing, beloved Muppets.

1446
01:11:12,518 --> 01:11:13,977
Come on, Robin.

1447
01:11:14,520 --> 01:11:15,562
(SIGHS)

1448
01:11:15,646 --> 01:11:17,105
-Coming.
-Can I be honest?

1449
01:11:17,231 --> 01:11:19,524
The show will be better without them.

1450
01:11:19,608 --> 01:11:21,401
-Couldn't get any worse.
-(BOTH LAUGHING)

1451
01:11:23,070 --> 01:11:25,655
Well, as the old saying goes...

1452
01:11:25,781 --> 01:11:28,575
The show must continue,

1453
01:11:29,201 --> 01:11:31,035
-in a timely fashion.
-GONZO: Wait.

1454
01:11:31,620 --> 01:11:34,038
Fozzie and Walter are part of our family.

1455
01:11:34,206 --> 01:11:36,541
We can't let them go without a fight.

1456
01:11:36,625 --> 01:11:37,834
Right, Kermit?

1457
01:11:37,918 --> 01:11:39,794
I know this is hard, Gonzo.

1458
01:11:39,879 --> 01:11:42,338
Walter and Fonzie were my best friends.

1459
01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:47,719
But Dominic is right.
We're better off without them.

1460
01:11:47,845 --> 01:11:48,845
Exactly.

1461
01:11:49,013 --> 01:11:50,221
-Well, that's true.
-No, it ain't.

1462
01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:51,306
No, no, it ain't. It's not.

1463
01:11:51,390 --> 01:11:52,390
MISS PIGGY: Kermit...

1464
01:11:53,225 --> 01:11:54,684
Are you sure you're okay?

1465
01:11:54,769 --> 01:11:56,186
Yes, I'm fine, pig.

1466
01:11:56,270 --> 01:11:58,229
I could never lose you.

1467
01:11:58,731 --> 01:12:00,148
You complete me.

1468
01:12:00,232 --> 01:12:01,524
Oh, Kermie.

1469
01:12:01,609 --> 01:12:03,026
DOMINIC: Guys, come on!

1470
01:12:03,110 --> 01:12:05,320
This is gonna be fantastic.
We should be celebrating!

1471
01:12:05,404 --> 01:12:08,948
Yes. Remember,
I can give you what you want.

1472
01:12:09,700 --> 01:12:10,950
-Yeah?
-Yeah, right.

1473
01:12:11,869 --> 01:12:14,454
-I'll keep that in mind.
-Say, has anyone seen Animal?

1474
01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:16,372
(SHIVERING)

1475
01:12:31,305 --> 01:12:32,806
ALL EXCLAIMING)

1476
01:12:35,476 --> 01:12:36,976
(PANTING)

1477
01:12:38,437 --> 01:12:41,689
Does anybody else feel like
we're traveling in circles?

1478
01:12:41,774 --> 01:12:42,982
(GASPS)

1479
01:12:43,609 --> 01:12:44,901
There it is!

1480
01:12:44,985 --> 01:12:46,986
Finally!

1481
01:12:47,488 --> 01:12:49,656
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

1482
01:12:50,324 --> 01:12:54,244
ALL: (SINGING) Take me by the tongue
And l'll know you

1483
01:12:54,328 --> 01:12:57,038
Kiss me on the cheek
And l'll show you

1484
01:12:57,122 --> 01:12:58,623
All the moves like Jagger

1485
01:12:58,707 --> 01:13:01,125
l've got the moves like Jagger
l've got the...

1486
01:13:04,505 --> 01:13:06,756
Do you have evidence
to frame the bear?

1487
01:13:07,591 --> 01:13:09,133
Excellent.

1488
01:13:10,344 --> 01:13:11,636
Where are the guards?

1489
01:13:11,846 --> 01:13:13,429
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

1490
01:13:19,311 --> 01:13:20,895
(LAUGHING)

1491
01:13:25,943 --> 01:13:26,943
Stay here.

1492
01:13:27,027 --> 01:13:28,278
-I'm going to check on the vault.
-Oui.

1493
01:13:29,864 --> 01:13:30,905
-(JACKHAMMERING)
-Whoa! Whoa!

1494
01:13:30,990 --> 01:13:32,031
Stop it!

1495
01:13:42,376 --> 01:13:43,501
BOTH: Whoa!

1496
01:13:45,546 --> 01:13:47,005
DOMINIC: Colonel Blood's locket.

1497
01:13:47,089 --> 01:13:49,883
Of course. Now grab it.

1498
01:13:50,968 --> 01:13:52,093
SAM THE EAGLE: Shawn.

1499
01:13:52,177 --> 01:13:53,553
Someone's coming. Abort!

1500
01:13:58,183 --> 01:14:01,477
I think I just saw something.
It's headed back towards the theater!

1501
01:14:01,562 --> 01:14:05,815
(SINGING) Near, far

1502
01:14:05,900 --> 01:14:09,068
Wherever you are...

1503
01:14:11,655 --> 01:14:13,740
-That was close.
-Too close.

1504
01:14:13,824 --> 01:14:16,117
We need to move to
final phase three. "Wedding."

1505
01:14:16,243 --> 01:14:20,079
You're here

1506
01:14:20,456 --> 01:14:24,500
Hey, Kermit, you can't go out there.
It's Piggy's Celine Dion number.

1507
01:14:24,585 --> 01:14:25,668
Whoa!

1508
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:29,505
And l know that my heart will...

1509
01:14:29,590 --> 01:14:30,840
Did you see anything?

1510
01:14:30,925 --> 01:14:34,552
Not a thing. It is my lunch hour.
It lasts six hours.

1511
01:14:34,637 --> 01:14:35,929
Excuse me.

1512
01:14:36,889 --> 01:14:38,681
Ladies and gentlemen!

1513
01:14:38,766 --> 01:14:40,850
I have an announcement!

1514
01:14:40,935 --> 01:14:42,936
-What?
-ALL MURMURING)

1515
01:14:43,020 --> 01:14:44,020
MISS PIGGY: Kermit,

1516
01:14:44,688 --> 01:14:46,856
I'm in the middle of a song here!

1517
01:14:46,941 --> 01:14:48,274
Miss Piggy.

1518
01:14:48,359 --> 01:14:51,694
I have very important question for you.

1519
01:14:51,779 --> 01:14:54,030
Yeah? What are you doing?

1520
01:14:54,239 --> 01:14:55,865
-(SNORING)
-ALL MURMURING)

1521
01:14:55,950 --> 01:14:59,118
Do you wish to become Mrs. Piggy?

1522
01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:02,121
-(GASPS)
-Or rather, Mrs. The Frog?

1523
01:15:02,247 --> 01:15:03,706
Aw.

1524
01:15:03,791 --> 01:15:06,626
Oh, Kermie, I thought you'd never ask.
I really thought you'd never ask!

1525
01:15:06,710 --> 01:15:08,127
So?

1526
01:15:08,212 --> 01:15:09,712
What do you say?

1527
01:15:10,714 --> 01:15:12,256
(WHISPERING) It's beautiful.

1528
01:15:12,341 --> 01:15:15,468
(SCREAMS) Yes! Yes! Of course! Yes!

1529
01:15:16,053 --> 01:15:17,720
I can't believe this! After all this time,

1530
01:15:18,263 --> 01:15:20,431
it was finally just so easy!

1531
01:15:20,557 --> 01:15:21,808
Hmm.

1532
01:15:22,142 --> 01:15:24,894
That's right, folks,
it's the Muppet wedding

1533
01:15:24,979 --> 01:15:27,647
the world has been waiting for.

1534
01:15:27,731 --> 01:15:29,649
We're putting our tour on hold...

1535
01:15:29,733 --> 01:15:30,900
ALL: What?

1536
01:15:30,985 --> 01:15:33,111
...to be married in two days' time

1537
01:15:33,195 --> 01:15:36,239
at the world's most romantic location,

1538
01:15:36,323 --> 01:15:39,117
-the Tower of London.
-(MISS PIGGY GASPS)

1539
01:15:39,326 --> 01:15:40,910
ALL CLAMORING)

1540
01:15:41,578 --> 01:15:43,287
Oh, my gosh.

1541
01:15:43,455 --> 01:15:45,581
Kermit's really doing it, isn't he?

1542
01:15:45,874 --> 01:15:47,625
(CLUCKING)

1543
01:15:48,293 --> 01:15:49,711
I told you, when I'm a millionaire.

1544
01:15:49,795 --> 01:15:50,795
Again.

1545
01:15:51,046 --> 01:15:52,880
Yes, pictures now.

1546
01:15:53,257 --> 01:15:56,801
(SIGHS) This ring. It's so... So black.

1547
01:15:57,511 --> 01:15:59,679
It's a little ominous, to tell the truth.

1548
01:15:59,805 --> 01:16:02,432
It's a very rare black diamond.

1549
01:16:02,641 --> 01:16:07,353
That ring is priceless.
Like you, my dear.

1550
01:16:07,521 --> 01:16:10,231
Oh, Kermie, you've never
said that to me be...

1551
01:16:10,649 --> 01:16:11,649
...fore.

1552
01:16:13,652 --> 01:16:15,027
What's gotten into you?

1553
01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:17,530
Love, my dear.

1554
01:16:18,866 --> 01:16:20,199
Love.

1555
01:16:20,325 --> 01:16:21,868
-(CLAMORING)
-APPLAUSE)

1556
01:16:24,580 --> 01:16:28,249
So... Secret phase three,
proposing to the pig.

1557
01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:30,668
Keep up, Number Two.

1558
01:16:30,878 --> 01:16:34,797
In Tower of London, you cannot
put on stupid variety show,

1559
01:16:34,882 --> 01:16:37,925
but you can get married.

1560
01:16:39,052 --> 01:16:41,888
You see, Blood's passageways
are located

1561
01:16:41,972 --> 01:16:45,099
directly below Saint John's Chapel.

1562
01:16:45,934 --> 01:16:50,188
I realized months ago that
our only chance of pulling this off

1563
01:16:50,689 --> 01:16:53,524
was a Muppet wedding.

1564
01:16:53,942 --> 01:16:55,193
Here's a Muppet newsflash.

1565
01:16:55,277 --> 01:16:57,236
The years of waiting are over.

1566
01:16:57,321 --> 01:16:59,697
The biggest "Will they, won't they?"
of all times

1567
01:16:59,782 --> 01:17:02,575
has been answered
with a firm, "They will."

1568
01:17:02,659 --> 01:17:05,953
Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy
are to be married!

1569
01:17:06,038 --> 01:17:08,956
That's right, folks.
They're finally tying the knot.

1570
01:17:09,041 --> 01:17:10,625
-(BULL LOWING)
-(GRUNTS)

1571
01:17:13,003 --> 01:17:14,212
(MOOS)

1572
01:17:16,215 --> 01:17:17,673
(SOBBING)

1573
01:17:17,758 --> 01:17:20,551
Well, at least they didn't get
the pot of gold.

1574
01:17:20,636 --> 01:17:22,470
No, they did not.

1575
01:17:23,180 --> 01:17:27,183
I have never been to
a more ridiculous crime scene.

1576
01:17:27,392 --> 01:17:28,810
(JEAN PIERRE GASPS)

1577
01:17:29,436 --> 01:17:31,270
The comedian bear, he was here.

1578
01:17:31,355 --> 01:17:33,606
SAM THE EAGLE: The Lemur.
He, too, was here.

1579
01:17:34,316 --> 01:17:38,945
Could the comedian bear and
the Lemur be one and the same?

1580
01:17:39,029 --> 01:17:42,281
The comedian bear is the Lemur.
That is brilliant.

1581
01:17:42,366 --> 01:17:45,159
But why would he steal
a bunch of old bones?

1582
01:17:45,244 --> 01:17:48,579
The bones apparently belonged
to one Colonel Thomas Blood.

1583
01:17:48,705 --> 01:17:52,458
He was the only man to ever nearly
steal the Crown Jewels of England.

1584
01:17:52,543 --> 01:17:55,753
Wait! Where did the frog say
he was getting married?

1585
01:17:55,879 --> 01:17:58,339
The Tower of London.

1586
01:17:58,423 --> 01:18:00,967
BOTH: The comedian bear
is planning on stealing...

1587
01:18:01,051 --> 01:18:02,218
-The Tower of London!
-The Crown Jewels!

1588
01:18:02,302 --> 01:18:03,886
The Crown Jewels.

1589
01:18:04,137 --> 01:18:05,388
(SIGHS)

1590
01:18:19,611 --> 01:18:20,820
Sir, where would you like the flowers?

1591
01:18:20,904 --> 01:18:22,321
Who cares?

1592
01:18:22,489 --> 01:18:23,531
Hey, chief.

1593
01:18:23,615 --> 01:18:24,824
Hi-lo.

1594
01:18:24,908 --> 01:18:26,659
Uh, we've all been thinking, and...

1595
01:18:26,743 --> 01:18:30,580
Well, after you and Miss Piggy
get married,

1596
01:18:30,664 --> 01:18:31,998
what's gonna happen to the tour?

1597
01:18:32,082 --> 01:18:33,499
And to us?

1598
01:18:33,584 --> 01:18:38,296
Well, now you guys
have all the freedom you want.

1599
01:18:38,380 --> 01:18:40,756
You don't need me.

1600
01:18:40,841 --> 01:18:42,550
I'm done with Muppets.

1601
01:18:42,718 --> 01:18:44,719
-Huh?
-ALL GASP)

1602
01:18:44,803 --> 01:18:47,889
But, hey, it's been a good run, right?

1603
01:18:48,015 --> 01:18:49,015
Hmm?

1604
01:18:49,516 --> 01:18:51,392
Good luck.

1605
01:18:52,060 --> 01:18:53,060
FLOYD: Kermit!

1606
01:18:54,354 --> 01:18:57,523
Did he just say what I thought he said?

1607
01:18:59,693 --> 01:19:02,778
What are we gonna do without Kermit?

1608
01:19:03,655 --> 01:19:06,032
The only thing we can do.

1609
01:19:06,700 --> 01:19:10,077
Pack up, go to the wedding,

1610
01:19:10,746 --> 01:19:13,122
and head back home.

1611
01:19:16,168 --> 01:19:19,879
Oh, Foo Foo, it's always been a fight.

1612
01:19:20,047 --> 01:19:25,635
But this is so easy,
it just doesn't feel right.

1613
01:19:25,719 --> 01:19:27,094
(WHIMPERING)

1614
01:19:27,971 --> 01:19:30,181
(SINGING) This is my dream come true

1615
01:19:30,265 --> 01:19:33,601
The day has come for us to say "l do"

1616
01:19:33,685 --> 01:19:36,562
There's nowhere else l'd rather be

1617
01:19:36,647 --> 01:19:39,899
Nothing in the world means
more to me than you

1618
01:19:39,983 --> 01:19:42,485
l've waited so patiently

1619
01:19:42,569 --> 01:19:46,030
l knew you were the only frog for me

1620
01:19:46,114 --> 01:19:48,574
Always knew this day would come

1621
01:19:48,659 --> 01:19:52,244
lt's written in the stars
lt's destiny

1622
01:19:52,329 --> 01:19:56,457
So how can something so right

1623
01:19:56,541 --> 01:20:01,545
Feel so wrong tonight?

1624
01:20:04,925 --> 01:20:09,095
After all we've been through

1625
01:20:09,179 --> 01:20:13,808
Why do l feel l don't know you?

1626
01:20:14,685 --> 01:20:17,687
We'll settle down and start a family

1627
01:20:17,771 --> 01:20:21,273
Have a mini you and a mini me

1628
01:20:22,442 --> 01:20:26,153
A little pink frog and a little green piggy

1629
01:20:26,697 --> 01:20:29,407
They'll learn to say hello
and say goodbye

1630
01:20:29,825 --> 01:20:30,866
We'll grow gray and old

1631
01:20:31,368 --> 01:20:33,411
And live the quiet life

1632
01:20:34,746 --> 01:20:37,123
Just you and l

1633
01:20:38,709 --> 01:20:41,460
Hand in hand we'll stay together

1634
01:20:41,545 --> 01:20:42,586
Hey. Look at that sky.

1635
01:20:42,671 --> 01:20:44,255
Forever and ever

1636
01:20:44,631 --> 01:20:45,715
Oh!

1637
01:20:46,299 --> 01:20:50,261
So how can something so right

1638
01:20:50,429 --> 01:20:55,933
Feel so wrong tonight?

1639
01:20:58,645 --> 01:21:01,230
After all we've been through

1640
01:21:02,983 --> 01:21:07,737
Why do l feel l don't know you?

1641
01:21:07,821 --> 01:21:10,614
How can something so right
feel so wrong inside?

1642
01:21:10,699 --> 01:21:13,534
How can something so good
leave me feeling so bad?

1643
01:21:13,618 --> 01:21:15,202
How can my dreams coming true

1644
01:21:15,287 --> 01:21:16,829
Leave me lonely and blue?

1645
01:21:16,913 --> 01:21:19,623
How come the happiest day
of my life is so sad?

1646
01:21:19,708 --> 01:21:22,668
How can l feel the high
when l feel so low?

1647
01:21:22,753 --> 01:21:25,629
After all we've been through
After coming so far

1648
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:27,381
ls this my destiny?

1649
01:21:27,466 --> 01:21:28,549
Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi

1650
01:21:28,633 --> 01:21:30,593
Where is the love that's written

1651
01:21:30,761 --> 01:21:34,889
ln the stars?

1652
01:21:35,223 --> 01:21:40,019
How can something so right

1653
01:21:40,103 --> 01:21:41,896
(VOCALIZING)

1654
01:21:41,980 --> 01:21:47,318
Feel so wrong tonight?

1655
01:21:47,402 --> 01:21:49,945
Hey-hey-hey

1656
01:21:50,322 --> 01:21:54,617
After all we've been through

1657
01:21:54,785 --> 01:21:58,996
Why do l feel l don't

1658
01:22:00,248 --> 01:22:02,249
Know you?

1659
01:22:03,251 --> 01:22:05,544
(VOCALIZING)

1660
01:22:09,758 --> 01:22:11,509
Oh, Kermie.

1661
01:22:20,185 --> 01:22:22,144
-Hey, the show's starting.
-Hmm? Ah, yeah!

1662
01:22:22,229 --> 01:22:23,437
AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

1663
01:22:24,189 --> 01:22:25,523
Lady and gentlemen,

1664
01:22:25,607 --> 01:22:29,652
good evening and welcome to
the Gulag Annual Revue Show!

1665
01:22:36,952 --> 01:22:38,202
Wow!

1666
01:22:39,663 --> 01:22:43,958
What do you call a clairvoyant
dwarf that escaped from the Gulag?

1667
01:22:45,168 --> 01:22:47,128
A small medium at large.

1668
01:22:47,295 --> 01:22:49,004
-(PRISONERS LAUGH)
-Oh! (LAUGHS)

1669
01:22:49,548 --> 01:22:51,423
Wocka, wocka, wocka.

1670
01:22:53,135 --> 01:22:54,593
WALTER: Let's go get him.

1671
01:22:54,886 --> 01:22:57,429
Escapo, you're up after the ballet.

1672
01:22:57,681 --> 01:22:59,056
Okay... Mmm-hmm.

1673
01:23:00,058 --> 01:23:01,100
(GASPS)

1674
01:23:01,184 --> 01:23:03,352
Kermit! Kermit! Psst!

1675
01:23:03,436 --> 01:23:04,562
-ANIMAL: Kermit.
-(GASPS)

1676
01:23:06,398 --> 01:23:09,275
Fozzie. Walter. Animal.

1677
01:23:10,026 --> 01:23:10,901
We're here to rescue you.

1678
01:23:10,986 --> 01:23:12,486
Yes! And we've got to go right now!

1679
01:23:12,571 --> 01:23:13,696
Yeah!

1680
01:23:13,864 --> 01:23:15,281
(SOBBING)

1681
01:23:15,365 --> 01:23:17,116
(MELANCHOLY
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

1682
01:23:28,003 --> 01:23:29,003
Hey!

1683
01:23:29,087 --> 01:23:31,213
I can't believe you're here.
It's so good to see you guys!

1684
01:23:31,298 --> 01:23:32,298
Kermit, listen.

1685
01:23:32,382 --> 01:23:34,258
An evil frog named Constantine

1686
01:23:34,342 --> 01:23:36,719
has taken over the Muppets
and replaced you!

1687
01:23:36,803 --> 01:23:38,512
What? Constantine replaced me?

1688
01:23:38,597 --> 01:23:39,597
WALTER: Yeah.

1689
01:23:39,681 --> 01:23:41,724
And he was working together
with Dominic.

1690
01:23:42,601 --> 01:23:45,561
They're planning something terrible,
but we don't know what.

1691
01:23:46,688 --> 01:23:47,938
But...

1692
01:23:48,023 --> 01:23:51,275
How could you not have noticed
that he'd replaced me, Fozzie?

1693
01:23:51,359 --> 01:23:53,777
He looked like you
and he talked like you.

1694
01:23:53,862 --> 01:23:55,779
Okay, he didn't talk that much like you,
come to think of it.

1695
01:23:55,864 --> 01:23:57,406
But he said he had a cold.

1696
01:23:57,490 --> 01:23:59,617
Animal know.

1697
01:23:59,701 --> 01:24:01,202
-"Animal know"?
-Mmm-hmm.

1698
01:24:01,286 --> 01:24:03,996
You mean, all this time,
I've been locked in a Russian gulag,

1699
01:24:04,080 --> 01:24:06,165
no one, not one single person

1700
01:24:06,249 --> 01:24:07,833
from the Muppets except Animal

1701
01:24:07,918 --> 01:24:10,586
noticed I'd been replaced by
an evil criminal mastermind?

1702
01:24:11,004 --> 01:24:13,255
It sounds worse than it was.

1703
01:24:13,340 --> 01:24:16,383
No. It's as bad as it sounds.

1704
01:24:16,801 --> 01:24:18,093
(SIGHS)

1705
01:24:20,263 --> 01:24:22,264
I thought you guys
had forgotten about me.

1706
01:24:23,850 --> 01:24:26,560
That you didn't need me anymore.

1707
01:24:26,645 --> 01:24:29,021
We'd never forget about you.

1708
01:24:29,105 --> 01:24:31,607
We need you more than ever, Kermit.

1709
01:24:31,691 --> 01:24:33,901
Good frog.

1710
01:24:34,945 --> 01:24:38,113
-(HORN HONKS)
-Late extra! Late extra! Read all about it!

1711
01:24:38,198 --> 01:24:40,407
Kermit and Miss Piggy
to be married in London!

1712
01:24:40,617 --> 01:24:41,617
(GASPS)

1713
01:24:42,827 --> 01:24:45,037
WALTER: What?
ANIMAL: Uh-oh.

1714
01:24:45,121 --> 01:24:46,288
Piggy?

1715
01:24:46,831 --> 01:24:49,792
Piggy's gonna marry the world's
most dangerous frog tomorrow?

1716
01:24:50,210 --> 01:24:52,086
Piggy and the gang are in danger!

1717
01:24:52,170 --> 01:24:53,212
To London!

1718
01:24:53,296 --> 01:24:54,797
ALL: No. Kermit!

1719
01:24:54,965 --> 01:24:56,173
(GUNSHOTS)

1720
01:24:57,133 --> 01:24:59,510
Oh, yeah, I forgot. I'm in a gulag.

1721
01:24:59,636 --> 01:25:00,719
Sorry about that, Ivan!

1722
01:25:00,804 --> 01:25:02,054
It's okay!

1723
01:25:02,138 --> 01:25:05,015
No problem, Kermit. It's easy mistake.

1724
01:25:05,100 --> 01:25:06,684
Right. Thanks for not shooting me!

1725
01:25:06,768 --> 01:25:09,395
Sure. No problem...
Hey, nothing personal.

1726
01:25:09,854 --> 01:25:11,814
We need to escape, guys. Tonight!

1727
01:25:11,898 --> 01:25:13,065
FOZZIE: But how?

1728
01:25:13,316 --> 01:25:17,027
Well, the weakest point in the Gulag
is over there by the fourth wall.

1729
01:25:17,237 --> 01:25:19,780
Okay. We're gonna have to
break the fourth wall.

1730
01:25:19,864 --> 01:25:20,864
Hmm.

1731
01:25:23,284 --> 01:25:25,744
-I don't think is gonna work, guys.
-I'm afraid you're right.

1732
01:25:25,912 --> 01:25:27,204
-Kermit.
-ALL EXCLAIM)

1733
01:25:27,539 --> 01:25:29,123
Do you know where these prop
pickaxes and shovels

1734
01:25:29,207 --> 01:25:30,416
are supposed to go
for this big mining number?

1735
01:25:30,500 --> 01:25:31,875
-KERMIT: Uh...
-Wait!

1736
01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:33,293
(LIGHTNING CRASHES)

1737
01:25:33,378 --> 01:25:35,087
I've got it!

1738
01:25:35,338 --> 01:25:39,049
KERMIT: And now, folks,
the Great Escapo!

1739
01:25:44,639 --> 01:25:45,806
(STRAINING)

1740
01:25:47,684 --> 01:25:48,809
(GRUNTS)

1741
01:25:49,144 --> 01:25:50,602
AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

1742
01:25:53,148 --> 01:25:54,398
Oh, no, you don't.

1743
01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:56,025
(GRUNTS)

1744
01:25:56,317 --> 01:25:58,485
-(GROANING)
-Nice try, Escapo.

1745
01:25:58,570 --> 01:26:00,237
I sure hope this works, Walter.

1746
01:26:00,321 --> 01:26:01,905
I have tried a lot of ways
to get out of here.

1747
01:26:01,990 --> 01:26:04,700
This is gonna work, Kermit.
I'll see you on the outside.

1748
01:26:04,784 --> 01:26:05,826
Okay!

1749
01:26:05,910 --> 01:26:07,161
Gosh, I hope this works.

1750
01:26:07,620 --> 01:26:10,664
Oh, thank you, thank you,
everybody. And now,

1751
01:26:10,749 --> 01:26:14,376
we're going underground.
Working in the coal mine!

1752
01:26:18,465 --> 01:26:20,007
(SINGING) Working in a coal mine

1753
01:26:20,091 --> 01:26:21,842
Going down, down, down

1754
01:26:21,926 --> 01:26:25,804
Working in a coal mine
Whoop! About to slip down

1755
01:26:25,889 --> 01:26:28,432
Five o'clock in morning

1756
01:26:28,516 --> 01:26:31,060
l'm already up and gone

1757
01:26:32,353 --> 01:26:34,438
Lord, l'm so tired

1758
01:26:35,774 --> 01:26:38,901
How long can this go on?
That l'm a...

1759
01:26:38,985 --> 01:26:40,611
Working in a coal mine

1760
01:26:40,695 --> 01:26:42,154
Going down, down, down

1761
01:26:42,238 --> 01:26:45,532
Working in a coal mine
Whoops! About to slip down

1762
01:26:47,202 --> 01:26:49,578
Oh, Lord, I'm so tired

1763
01:26:52,207 --> 01:26:55,542
Working in a coal mine
Going down, down, down

1764
01:26:55,627 --> 01:26:56,794
Working in a coal mine

1765
01:26:56,878 --> 01:26:58,879
Whoop! About to slip down

1766
01:26:58,963 --> 01:27:00,422
-Working
-ln a coal mine

1767
01:27:00,507 --> 01:27:01,799
-Going
-Down, down, down

1768
01:27:01,883 --> 01:27:03,675
-And working
-ln a coal mine

1769
01:27:03,760 --> 01:27:05,594
-Whoops!
-About to slip down

1770
01:27:05,929 --> 01:27:09,139
ln the coal mine

1771
01:27:09,224 --> 01:27:10,224
Whoo!

1772
01:27:11,309 --> 01:27:12,935
(CHEERING)

1773
01:27:16,397 --> 01:27:17,898
-Bravo! Bravo!
-Bravo!

1774
01:27:22,362 --> 01:27:23,862
Oh, no.

1775
01:27:25,532 --> 01:27:30,494
Kermie!

1776
01:27:30,870 --> 01:27:32,079
WALTER: I can't believe that worked!

1777
01:27:32,163 --> 01:27:33,831
KERMIT: We did it! Great work, guys!

1778
01:27:33,915 --> 01:27:36,792
Now put the pedal to the metal.
We have a wedding to crash!

1779
01:27:36,876 --> 01:27:38,001
ALL: Yeah!

1780
01:27:44,259 --> 01:27:46,176
(PEOPLE CHEERING)

1781
01:27:54,894 --> 01:27:57,104
FOZZIE: That's a nice venue.

1782
01:28:00,567 --> 01:28:02,401
KERMIT: The main entrance is
too well-guarded.

1783
01:28:02,485 --> 01:28:05,112
I'm gonna need to get in
some other way.

1784
01:28:08,199 --> 01:28:09,908
Here you go.

1785
01:28:10,910 --> 01:28:11,910
(CLEARS THROAT)

1786
01:28:11,995 --> 01:28:13,036
You're the new guy?

1787
01:28:13,121 --> 01:28:14,371
Yes, I am.

1788
01:28:14,455 --> 01:28:15,706
Next time, wear a uniform.

1789
01:28:15,790 --> 01:28:16,790
Right.

1790
01:28:18,835 --> 01:28:20,127
(WHIMPERING)

1791
01:28:26,801 --> 01:28:28,176
-What are you doing here?
-(WHIMPERING)

1792
01:28:28,261 --> 01:28:29,761
You're supposed to be
getting ready, Number One.

1793
01:28:29,929 --> 01:28:31,471
And also, your thing is showing.

1794
01:28:31,598 --> 01:28:34,391
Ah, yes. Yes, of course.

1795
01:28:34,517 --> 01:28:36,727
I know that, you complete idiot.

1796
01:28:37,103 --> 01:28:40,564
Why do you think I am walking around
with these flowers to cover my face?

1797
01:28:40,690 --> 01:28:42,900
-All right. Calm down.
-Thank you.

1798
01:28:44,277 --> 01:28:45,736
For nothing!

1799
01:28:49,115 --> 01:28:52,117
Wow, Kermit, you were like
James Bond back there.

1800
01:28:52,201 --> 01:28:54,077
Thanks, Fozzie. Okay, listen, guys.

1801
01:28:54,162 --> 01:28:55,913
Walter, you and Animal
go look in the chapel.

1802
01:28:55,997 --> 01:28:56,997
Right.

1803
01:28:57,081 --> 01:28:59,249
-Fozzie, come with me.
-Yes, sir.

1804
01:28:59,334 --> 01:29:01,376
-Good luck, guys.
-You, too, Kermit.

1805
01:29:04,297 --> 01:29:05,881
KERMIT: Piggy?

1806
01:29:06,049 --> 01:29:07,591
Where is she?

1807
01:29:09,469 --> 01:29:12,554
Kermit, these are your clothes.

1808
01:29:12,889 --> 01:29:14,014
-Whoa!
-(MIRROR SHATTERS)

1809
01:29:14,098 --> 01:29:15,098
Shh!

1810
01:29:15,183 --> 01:29:16,266
CONSTANTINE: This tuxedo is too tight.

1811
01:29:16,351 --> 01:29:17,809
Someone's coming! Hide! Hide!

1812
01:29:19,020 --> 01:29:20,520
CONSTANTINE: Which room
am I supposed to be in?

1813
01:29:21,397 --> 01:29:23,065
Ah, here it is.

1814
01:29:24,984 --> 01:29:26,985
I hate weddings.

1815
01:29:34,410 --> 01:29:35,702
Hmm?

1816
01:29:35,787 --> 01:29:36,954
Hmm...

1817
01:29:40,583 --> 01:29:41,708
(GASPS)

1818
01:29:44,045 --> 01:29:45,170
Ha!

1819
01:29:58,351 --> 01:29:59,518
What the...

1820
01:29:59,852 --> 01:30:01,853
Ah. There you are.

1821
01:30:02,313 --> 01:30:05,065
Well, don't just stand there gawping,
Number Two.

1822
01:30:05,149 --> 01:30:06,191
Come in.

1823
01:30:06,317 --> 01:30:07,943
-How did you do that?
-CONSTANTINE: Do what?

1824
01:30:08,111 --> 01:30:10,278
Ow! I mean, nothing.

1825
01:30:10,488 --> 01:30:11,655
Whatever.

1826
01:30:12,156 --> 01:30:17,035
Let us take this convenient opportunity
to review our plans, hmm?

1827
01:30:17,412 --> 01:30:21,123
Once you've stolen the Crown Jewels
and framed the Muppets,

1828
01:30:21,207 --> 01:30:24,668
ring the tower bell five times
and we will rendezvous on the roof.

1829
01:30:24,752 --> 01:30:26,461
But what will you do
when you're married?

1830
01:30:26,546 --> 01:30:27,754
Because the pig will know everything.

1831
01:30:27,839 --> 01:30:32,801
Phase four. I do not plan to be
married for long.

1832
01:30:33,136 --> 01:30:35,721
Yeah, but if you get divorced,
you'll have to share

1833
01:30:35,805 --> 01:30:37,639
the Crown Jewels with her fifty-fifty.

1834
01:30:37,724 --> 01:30:41,184
I will not be getting divorced, you idiot.

1835
01:30:41,352 --> 01:30:44,479
Once she's served her purpose,
kaboom.

1836
01:30:45,732 --> 01:30:47,858
It will be bacon for breakfast.

1837
01:30:48,359 --> 01:30:49,526
(GASPS)

1838
01:30:49,944 --> 01:30:51,403
(LAUGHING EVILLY

1839
01:30:52,572 --> 01:30:53,780
Champagne fridge delivery.

1840
01:30:54,073 --> 01:30:56,366
For Mr., uh... The Frog.

1841
01:30:56,492 --> 01:30:57,743
CONSTANTINE: Ah, yes.

1842
01:30:57,910 --> 01:31:00,954
Put it over there on the bear-skin rug.

1843
01:31:01,039 --> 01:31:02,122
(WHIMPERING SOFTLY

1844
01:31:02,832 --> 01:31:03,999
FOZZIE: Ooh!

1845
01:31:04,375 --> 01:31:05,917
Thank you!

1846
01:31:06,002 --> 01:31:07,669
It's show time.

1847
01:31:10,089 --> 01:31:11,631
Fozzie, are you okay?

1848
01:31:11,716 --> 01:31:14,551
Yeah, I think so. How do I look?

1849
01:31:14,635 --> 01:31:16,136
You look fine. You look fine.

1850
01:31:16,220 --> 01:31:17,929
Come on, we have to go rescue
Miss Piggy!

1851
01:31:18,014 --> 01:31:19,181
Right! Let's go!

1852
01:31:19,265 --> 01:31:21,892
The Lemur! I have you finally!

1853
01:31:21,976 --> 01:31:24,394
And Constantine,
the world's most dangerous frog!

1854
01:31:24,479 --> 01:31:25,479
No, no, no.

1855
01:31:25,563 --> 01:31:29,191
As you might say, case sol-ved!

1856
01:31:29,275 --> 01:31:32,652
Perfect! Time for my annual
eight-week paid vacation.

1857
01:31:32,737 --> 01:31:33,737
-Au revoir.
-Au revoir.

1858
01:31:33,863 --> 01:31:34,821
No, wait!

1859
01:31:34,906 --> 01:31:38,366
What am I supposed to do with them
until the mobile holding unit arrives?

1860
01:31:38,451 --> 01:31:39,451
On holiday!

1861
01:31:39,535 --> 01:31:41,036
KERMIT: No, you've got the wrong frog.

1862
01:31:41,120 --> 01:31:42,829
And stay there! Hmph!

1863
01:31:43,331 --> 01:31:44,748
(BOTH WHIMPERING)

1864
01:31:46,542 --> 01:31:50,670
Oh, and so you know, Number Two,
I have hired us help.

1865
01:31:51,172 --> 01:31:54,549
The world's smallest team
ofjewel thieves.

1866
01:31:54,634 --> 01:31:57,219
Babies, meet your new boss.

1867
01:31:57,303 --> 01:32:02,891
Genius, I know! Who would suspect
babies of stealing Crown Jewels?

1868
01:32:02,975 --> 01:32:05,727
Look at their sweet faces.

1869
01:32:05,812 --> 01:32:06,978
(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)

1870
01:32:07,563 --> 01:32:09,314
LINK HOGTHROB: Let's see.
Where am I seated?

1871
01:32:09,398 --> 01:32:11,900
I'll need an usher.
Usher? Is there an usher?

1872
01:32:12,902 --> 01:32:15,278
Yes. I'm the Usher.

1873
01:32:15,363 --> 01:32:16,822
Pig or frog?

1874
01:32:16,906 --> 01:32:18,073
What do you think?

1875
01:32:18,157 --> 01:32:19,616
I don't know, man. Pig?

1876
01:32:19,700 --> 01:32:22,410
No. Frog. I'm related through marriage.

1877
01:32:22,495 --> 01:32:23,703
What kind of an usher are you?

1878
01:32:24,163 --> 01:32:25,122
(SIGHS)

1879
01:32:25,498 --> 01:32:27,374
Hey, there. Can we help you guys?

1880
01:32:27,458 --> 01:32:29,626
Yeah, we're the Disney
synergy invites. This is our row.

1881
01:32:30,002 --> 01:32:31,044
What's synergy?

1882
01:32:31,128 --> 01:32:33,255
It's the interaction of multiple elements
in a system.

1883
01:32:33,714 --> 01:32:35,966
Okay, see you soon.

1884
01:32:36,467 --> 01:32:38,218
(GAGGING)

1885
01:32:38,344 --> 01:32:40,220
-(GARGLES)
-(COUGHS)

1886
01:32:40,304 --> 01:32:41,805
(GAGGING CONTINUES)

1887
01:32:42,139 --> 01:32:43,932
-Kermit, are you carsick?
-(COUGHS)

1888
01:32:44,016 --> 01:32:45,642
I swallowed a hairpin months ago,

1889
01:32:45,726 --> 01:32:47,185
in case something
like this should happen.

1890
01:32:47,353 --> 01:32:49,062
It's one of those things
you learn in prison, Fozzie.

1891
01:32:49,146 --> 01:32:50,105
Hmm.

1892
01:32:50,189 --> 01:32:51,565
(RETCHING)

1893
01:32:52,942 --> 01:32:54,234
Give me your paw.

1894
01:32:54,485 --> 01:32:55,861
Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1895
01:32:56,821 --> 01:32:58,113
That's slimy.

1896
01:32:58,322 --> 01:33:00,156
Fozzie! I had that thing
in my gullet for three months.

1897
01:33:00,449 --> 01:33:02,325
I'm sorry, but that was just gross.

1898
01:33:02,451 --> 01:33:03,451
Good grief.

1899
01:33:08,374 --> 01:33:10,000
(BABBLING INDISTINCTLY

1900
01:33:16,424 --> 01:33:17,674
ALL EXCLAIMING)

1901
01:33:25,099 --> 01:33:26,349
You're up, little dudes.

1902
01:33:26,434 --> 01:33:27,767
Go, go, go.

1903
01:33:33,774 --> 01:33:34,816
Down.

1904
01:33:40,197 --> 01:33:41,740
(GRUNTING)

1905
01:33:42,116 --> 01:33:43,283
Tip.

1906
01:33:45,036 --> 01:33:46,036
Come on! What the...

1907
01:33:48,456 --> 01:33:49,706
(SIGHS)

1908
01:33:50,833 --> 01:33:53,251
-ALL: Dominic. Hey, Dominic.
-Shh.

1909
01:33:53,794 --> 01:33:54,794
Shut up.

1910
01:33:55,588 --> 01:33:57,047
(BELL TOLLING)

1911
01:33:57,214 --> 01:33:58,381
(GASPS)

1912
01:33:58,466 --> 01:34:00,675
The wedding, it's starting.

1913
01:34:01,302 --> 01:34:02,469
(SIGHS)

1914
01:34:02,970 --> 01:34:04,804
She looks beautiful.

1915
01:34:06,223 --> 01:34:07,432
Fozzie, we got to do something.

1916
01:34:07,516 --> 01:34:09,601
Oh, this is so frustrating!

1917
01:34:09,685 --> 01:34:11,186
Wow, would you look at that?

1918
01:34:11,270 --> 01:34:12,812
Now that's a poorly made car.

1919
01:34:13,981 --> 01:34:15,023
Let's get out of here!

1920
01:34:16,400 --> 01:34:17,609
(FOZZIE GRUNTS)

1921
01:34:18,903 --> 01:34:20,153
(GROANING)

1922
01:34:23,741 --> 01:34:25,450
-Bear left.
-Right, frog.

1923
01:34:25,576 --> 01:34:27,619
-ALL MURMURING INDISTINCTLY
-(WEDDING MARCH PLAYING)

1924
01:34:46,013 --> 01:34:49,432
(SOBBING) I'm just happy for them.
Really happy for them.

1925
01:34:49,517 --> 01:34:52,018
-Would you please stop talking?
-Okay. (SNIFFLES)

1926
01:34:52,603 --> 01:34:53,603
(BLOWS NOSE)

1927
01:35:05,700 --> 01:35:06,991
Dearly beloved...

1928
01:35:07,201 --> 01:35:08,451
(SIGHS)

1929
01:35:10,454 --> 01:35:12,455
What! Code Red! Code Red!

1930
01:35:14,208 --> 01:35:15,709
(BABIES EXCLAIMING)

1931
01:35:16,711 --> 01:35:17,836
Oh, come on.

1932
01:35:17,920 --> 01:35:19,796
-Not a laser web.
-BABY: Ooh, pretty.

1933
01:35:19,880 --> 01:35:22,632
Right. Go and get
the suspend-y ropey thing.

1934
01:35:22,717 --> 01:35:25,051
-And my really cool skintight outfit.
-Yep.

1935
01:35:25,136 --> 01:35:27,220
Shawn, come back from vacation!

1936
01:35:27,304 --> 01:35:29,097
Constantine and the Lemur
have escaped.

1937
01:35:29,181 --> 01:35:30,849
The Crown Jewels are in danger!

1938
01:35:48,951 --> 01:35:52,370
We are gathered here today
to witness the union

1939
01:35:52,455 --> 01:35:55,665
of this pig and this frog

1940
01:35:55,750 --> 01:36:00,128
in Holy Matrimony
before the presence of God.

1941
01:36:28,115 --> 01:36:30,241
Do you, Kermit the Frog,

1942
01:36:30,326 --> 01:36:33,453
take Miss Piggy to be
your lawfully wedded wife,

1943
01:36:33,954 --> 01:36:37,081
in sickness and in health,
so help you God?

1944
01:36:37,166 --> 01:36:39,083
Yes. Yes, I do.

1945
01:36:39,168 --> 01:36:42,086
-And do you, Miss Piggy...
-Hmm?

1946
01:36:42,171 --> 01:36:46,049
...take Kermit the Frog
to be your lawfully wedded husband,

1947
01:36:46,133 --> 01:36:49,302
in sickness and in health,
so help you God?

1948
01:36:50,888 --> 01:36:51,888
I...

1949
01:36:52,139 --> 01:36:53,139
ALL GASP)

1950
01:36:54,225 --> 01:36:55,225
I...

1951
01:36:55,392 --> 01:36:56,392
ALL GASP)

1952
01:36:59,188 --> 01:37:00,688
(WHISPERING) Just say "I do."

1953
01:37:00,773 --> 01:37:02,607
This is
what you've always wanted, right?

1954
01:37:04,902 --> 01:37:05,944
I do?

1955
01:37:06,028 --> 01:37:07,570
I'm sorry, is that a question?

1956
01:37:07,655 --> 01:37:09,614
No, it was not a question.

1957
01:37:09,907 --> 01:37:11,157
(PANTING)

1958
01:37:11,242 --> 01:37:12,450
We have to do something, guys.

1959
01:37:12,535 --> 01:37:15,411
Kermit, we've got to
get you close to Miss Piggy!

1960
01:37:15,496 --> 01:37:17,163
Huh. What does this do?

1961
01:37:17,540 --> 01:37:18,540
(YELLS)

1962
01:37:18,707 --> 01:37:20,291
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)

1963
01:37:21,544 --> 01:37:22,544
Ooh!

1964
01:37:22,628 --> 01:37:24,212
-What the...
-Piggy, it's me, Kermit.

1965
01:37:24,296 --> 01:37:26,172
Come on, we have to get out of here!
The wedding is off.

1966
01:37:26,257 --> 01:37:27,507
Oh, wow!

1967
01:37:27,591 --> 01:37:30,260
Like, I kind of knew
he'd get cold flippers.

1968
01:37:31,554 --> 01:37:32,929
Huh? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

1969
01:37:33,013 --> 01:37:34,222
Excuse us.

1970
01:37:34,431 --> 01:37:35,431
ALL YELLING)

1971
01:37:35,516 --> 01:37:37,934
No, Kermit! What are you doing?

1972
01:37:38,018 --> 01:37:40,061
-Piggy, I will explain later.
-I cannot believe...

1973
01:37:40,145 --> 01:37:41,729
-CONSTANTINE: Come here, frog!
-(EXCLAIMS)

1974
01:37:41,814 --> 01:37:42,939
Where you going?

1975
01:37:44,233 --> 01:37:46,442
I'm sorry, my dear, forgive me.

1976
01:37:46,527 --> 01:37:48,528
MISS PIGGY: What is going on
at my wedding?

1977
01:37:48,612 --> 01:37:50,071
-Gotcha!
-What?

1978
01:37:50,155 --> 01:37:51,489
ALL EXCLAIMING)

1979
01:37:51,574 --> 01:37:52,532
WALTER: Animal, pull!

1980
01:37:52,616 --> 01:37:54,868
CONSTANTINE:
What is happening here?

1981
01:37:54,952 --> 01:37:57,120
Catch froggie! Catch froggie!

1982
01:37:57,204 --> 01:37:59,539
Well, this is the best
Muppet wedding ever!

1983
01:37:59,623 --> 01:38:02,000
Piggy, listen! That's not me! I'm me!

1984
01:38:02,126 --> 01:38:03,209
(CHEWING)

1985
01:38:03,294 --> 01:38:05,420
He's Constantine,
the world's most dangerous...

1986
01:38:05,504 --> 01:38:07,130
-(YELLS)
-ALL EXCLAIM)

1987
01:38:11,802 --> 01:38:12,969
(GASPS)

1988
01:38:14,179 --> 01:38:16,055
Two Kermits?

1989
01:38:16,599 --> 01:38:18,308
Well, that explains a lot.

1990
01:38:18,684 --> 01:38:20,685
I knew it. No one could have
a cold for that long.

1991
01:38:20,936 --> 01:38:22,395
Or that bad of an accent, okay.

1992
01:38:22,479 --> 01:38:25,398
How can there be two Kermits?

1993
01:38:25,482 --> 01:38:28,651
Of all the ways to ruin a wedding,
this has got to be the most creative.

1994
01:38:28,736 --> 01:38:29,903
Two Kermits!

1995
01:38:29,987 --> 01:38:32,488
KERMIT: No, just one Kermit. Me.

1996
01:38:32,573 --> 01:38:34,949
CONSTANTINE: No, no, no.
Do not listen to him!

1997
01:38:35,034 --> 01:38:36,284
I am the real Kermit.

1998
01:38:36,368 --> 01:38:38,745
KERMIT: That's ridiculous!
I am Kermit the Frog!

1999
01:38:38,829 --> 01:38:41,122
CONSTANTINE: No, I am Kermit
the Frog! Hi-lo, Kermit the Frog, here.

2000
01:38:41,206 --> 01:38:42,498
KERMIT: "Hi-lo?" It's "Hi-ho!"

2001
01:38:42,583 --> 01:38:43,875
Would every Kermit be quiet!

2002
01:38:44,043 --> 01:38:45,043
BOTH: Huh?

2003
01:38:46,253 --> 01:38:47,503
Well, there's only one sure way
to settle this.

2004
01:38:47,588 --> 01:38:48,588
First Kermit.

2005
01:38:49,757 --> 01:38:53,301
Will you marry me?

2006
01:38:53,385 --> 01:38:55,720
CONSTANTINE: Yes, of course, let's go!

2007
01:38:55,804 --> 01:38:58,139
The helicopter is waiting, my love!

2008
01:38:58,223 --> 01:39:00,725
And you, the other Kermit...

2009
01:39:01,352 --> 01:39:04,145
Will you marry me?

2010
01:39:04,229 --> 01:39:06,439
KERMIT: (STAMMERING)
Well, I mean, I...

2011
01:39:06,523 --> 01:39:08,983
-I would. I mean, I could. It's...
-(GASPS)

2012
01:39:09,068 --> 01:39:10,693
That's my Kermit!

2013
01:39:10,819 --> 01:39:12,320
-(YELLS)
-ALL GASP)

2014
01:39:12,404 --> 01:39:14,030
-ALL CHEERING)
-DR. TEETH: That's our frog!

2015
01:39:15,407 --> 01:39:16,532
Kissy-kissy!

2016
01:39:17,701 --> 01:39:20,036
This hobo believes in love again.

2017
01:39:24,541 --> 01:39:26,209
What are you doing over there?

2018
01:39:29,713 --> 01:39:30,713
Hmm...

2019
01:39:36,178 --> 01:39:37,303
ALL GASP)

2020
01:39:37,471 --> 01:39:40,014
That is right, Muppets!

2021
01:39:40,557 --> 01:39:43,351
I am Constantine,

2022
01:39:43,435 --> 01:39:44,602
ALL GASP)

2023
01:39:44,687 --> 01:39:47,647
the world's most dangerous frog
and number one criminal!

2024
01:39:47,731 --> 01:39:51,734
And a thousand times more frog
than this Kermit person!

2025
01:39:54,697 --> 01:39:56,864
And now,

2026
01:39:56,949 --> 01:40:01,494
I have only one thing to say to you fools!

2027
01:40:03,372 --> 01:40:04,872
Good night, folks!

2028
01:40:04,957 --> 01:40:06,416
-(BEEPING)
-ALL CLAMORING)

2029
01:40:06,500 --> 01:40:08,710
Yay!

2030
01:40:09,586 --> 01:40:11,129
What is that?

2031
01:40:11,213 --> 01:40:12,630
It's a bomb!

2032
01:40:12,715 --> 01:40:16,592
This is where my patented magnetic
bomb-attractor vest can aid us,

2033
01:40:16,677 --> 01:40:18,928
that Beaker is conveniently wearing.

2034
01:40:19,096 --> 01:40:20,888
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

2035
01:40:24,685 --> 01:40:26,853
What? What's going on?

2036
01:40:26,979 --> 01:40:28,104
(SCREAMING)

2037
01:40:31,358 --> 01:40:34,152
Wait! Miss Piggy's ring is the bomb!

2038
01:40:34,695 --> 01:40:36,070
Whoa!

2039
01:40:36,155 --> 01:40:39,031
Some of you guys grab Piggy,
and some of you guys grab me.

2040
01:40:39,116 --> 01:40:40,199
Pull!

2041
01:40:47,750 --> 01:40:49,375
-ALL GASP)
-(SCREAMING)

2042
01:40:51,587 --> 01:40:53,671
That's only 800 years old.

2043
01:40:53,797 --> 01:40:55,131
(EXCLAIMING)

2044
01:41:03,390 --> 01:41:04,932
Nicely done, Beaker!

2045
01:41:05,058 --> 01:41:06,392
(YELLING)

2046
01:41:07,394 --> 01:41:09,771
Kermit! Help!

2047
01:41:09,855 --> 01:41:11,022
-Piggy!
-Help!

2048
01:41:11,106 --> 01:41:12,440
She's on the roof!

2049
01:41:12,524 --> 01:41:15,735
Shut up and keep moving, pig!
You are my insurance policy!

2050
01:41:17,404 --> 01:41:18,404
Huh?

2051
01:41:18,489 --> 01:41:20,239
Number Two, you look ridiculous.

2052
01:41:20,324 --> 01:41:21,991
Why are you wearing that?

2053
01:41:22,075 --> 01:41:23,659
Because I am the Lemur.

2054
01:41:23,744 --> 01:41:26,245
And the world's
new number one criminal.

2055
01:41:26,371 --> 01:41:27,413
That's right.

2056
01:41:27,498 --> 01:41:29,081
This is where I double-cross you.

2057
01:41:29,166 --> 01:41:31,000
First rule of double-cross.

2058
01:41:31,084 --> 01:41:34,337
You don't announce the double-cross
before you double-cross.

2059
01:41:34,421 --> 01:41:37,048
It's not even a rule
because it is so obvious.

2060
01:41:37,925 --> 01:41:39,592
-(BEEPING)
-(SCREAMS)

2061
01:41:40,177 --> 01:41:44,931
The Lemur is literally the worst bad guy
name I have ever heard!

2062
01:41:45,057 --> 01:41:46,057
Let's go!

2063
01:41:48,018 --> 01:41:49,060
(STRUGGLING)

2064
01:41:50,604 --> 01:41:51,854
Oh, no!

2065
01:41:51,939 --> 01:41:53,981
He's getting away!
What are we gonna do?

2066
01:41:54,066 --> 01:41:55,775
I'm gonna stop that helicopter.

2067
01:41:56,109 --> 01:41:57,693
ALL CLAMORING)

2068
01:41:58,278 --> 01:42:00,196
We're coming!
Hang on, Miss Piggy!

2069
01:42:00,280 --> 01:42:01,781
Jump!

2070
01:42:02,407 --> 01:42:04,033
-(WHIMPERING)
-Shut up, pig!

2071
01:42:04,117 --> 01:42:05,326
Kermit!

2072
01:42:05,410 --> 01:42:06,536
We have to do something!

2073
01:42:06,620 --> 01:42:07,620
I got it!

2074
01:42:07,704 --> 01:42:09,497
There's only one way
we can reach him up there!

2075
01:42:09,581 --> 01:42:10,748
Muppet Ladder!

2076
01:42:11,583 --> 01:42:14,126
-What the...
-Kermit!

2077
01:42:16,296 --> 01:42:17,588
Come on up, Chef!

2078
01:42:18,257 --> 01:42:20,132
Watch the hair, bear.

2079
01:42:21,093 --> 01:42:23,553
Give up, Constantine. I've got you now!

2080
01:42:23,637 --> 01:42:25,972
Bad move, frog.

2081
01:42:26,431 --> 01:42:27,723
-(SCREAMS)
-Kermit!

2082
01:42:27,808 --> 01:42:30,309
Okay, Kermit, we're coming to get you.

2083
01:42:30,394 --> 01:42:31,394
Now!

2084
01:42:31,478 --> 01:42:33,396
-ALL: Whoa!
-Whoa!

2085
01:42:34,481 --> 01:42:35,731
No, something's wrong.

2086
01:42:35,816 --> 01:42:37,358
We're not moving.

2087
01:42:37,651 --> 01:42:38,943
ALL STRAINING)

2088
01:42:42,155 --> 01:42:43,990
You're ruining my getaway!

2089
01:42:44,992 --> 01:42:46,158
(GASPS)

2090
01:42:47,995 --> 01:42:49,579
Hang on, Piggy! I'm coming!

2091
01:42:49,663 --> 01:42:51,205
Go get 'em, Kermit!

2092
01:42:51,665 --> 01:42:52,915
(GRUNTS)

2093
01:42:53,000 --> 01:42:54,000
Kermie!

2094
01:42:55,002 --> 01:42:57,670
Welcome aboard, Kermit.

2095
01:42:57,754 --> 01:43:00,590
You don't know who you're dealing with.

2096
01:43:00,674 --> 01:43:03,009
I am the world's most dangerous frog.

2097
01:43:03,510 --> 01:43:04,927
Oh, brother!

2098
01:43:05,012 --> 01:43:07,179
You may be
the world's most dangerous frog,

2099
01:43:07,264 --> 01:43:08,639
but you're still a frog!

2100
01:43:10,350 --> 01:43:14,770
No one tricks me into marrying them

2101
01:43:14,855 --> 01:43:18,524
and then hurts my Kermie!

2102
01:43:20,152 --> 01:43:21,152
Ha!

2103
01:43:21,695 --> 01:43:23,195
(GROANING)

2104
01:43:25,198 --> 01:43:27,033
What a woman!

2105
01:43:27,117 --> 01:43:28,743
Yeah. My woman.

2106
01:43:28,827 --> 01:43:31,662
And I believe this belongs to you.

2107
01:43:34,041 --> 01:43:35,166
(GROANS)

2108
01:43:39,046 --> 01:43:41,213
Well, I'm sorry I ruined your wedding.

2109
01:43:41,381 --> 01:43:42,882
Oh, Kermie.

2110
01:43:44,051 --> 01:43:46,135
I'm so glad you did.

2111
01:43:55,896 --> 01:43:59,398
So, uh, how do we land this thing, huh?

2112
01:43:59,483 --> 01:44:00,691
Oh, that's easy.

2113
01:44:02,569 --> 01:44:04,779
ROWLF: Okay. Can we get down now?

2114
01:44:05,364 --> 01:44:06,572
-(SIRENS APPROACHING)
-We did it, guys!

2115
01:44:06,657 --> 01:44:07,657
ALL CHEERING)

2116
01:44:09,785 --> 01:44:11,327
SCOOTER: What an action sequence!

2117
01:44:11,411 --> 01:44:12,828
LEW ZEALAND: You sure look pretty,
Miss Piggy.

2118
01:44:12,913 --> 01:44:14,205
Thank you.

2119
01:44:14,289 --> 01:44:17,750
Congratulations, weirdos,
you've saved the Crown Jewels!

2120
01:44:17,834 --> 01:44:20,086
And you've caught my nemesis,
the Lemur.

2121
01:44:20,170 --> 01:44:22,505
Look at his little costume.
That's adorable!

2122
01:44:22,589 --> 01:44:24,548
-I'm not adorable.
-He is adorable.

2123
01:44:24,633 --> 01:44:25,925
You're adorable!

2124
01:44:26,009 --> 01:44:27,426
Did you make that kitty-cat outfit?

2125
01:44:27,511 --> 01:44:30,554
The bad guy is Dominic Badguy!

2126
01:44:30,639 --> 01:44:32,431
It's pronounced "Bad-gee."

2127
01:44:32,724 --> 01:44:37,061
Well, mon ami, I guess
this is where we say goodbye.

2128
01:44:37,521 --> 01:44:39,021
You go your way, and I go mine.

2129
01:44:39,106 --> 01:44:43,192
(SOBBING) Here comes the rain.
Oh, boy.

2130
01:44:43,360 --> 01:44:45,277
And I said I wasn't going to do this.

2131
01:44:45,362 --> 01:44:47,655
Oh, pull yourself together, man.
Stop crying.

2132
01:44:47,739 --> 01:44:50,616
We're only saying our final farewell.

2133
01:44:51,535 --> 01:44:54,453
Goodbye forever! (SOBBING)

2134
01:44:54,538 --> 01:44:55,955
I'm going to miss you so much!

2135
01:44:56,039 --> 01:44:58,749
I'm going to miss you, my French friend.

2136
01:44:58,917 --> 01:44:59,959
ALL GROANING)

2137
01:45:00,043 --> 01:45:01,377
Whenever you're ready.

2138
01:45:02,045 --> 01:45:03,254
-Yes.
-Yes, of course.

2139
01:45:04,214 --> 01:45:06,090
-Take them away!
-Take them away!

2140
01:45:06,174 --> 01:45:08,175
-DOMINIC: Thank you.
-Au revoir, Muppets.

2141
01:45:08,260 --> 01:45:10,511
-Bye-bye.
-See you!

2142
01:45:12,472 --> 01:45:14,974
Sam. Sam! Wait for me!

2143
01:45:15,350 --> 01:45:17,601
Since I stole the Crown Jewels,
guess I'm number one now.

2144
01:45:17,686 --> 01:45:18,769
But we're going to jail.

2145
01:45:18,895 --> 01:45:20,646
Doesn't matter.
Still counts, still stole 'em.

2146
01:45:20,731 --> 01:45:22,898
(SINGING) l'm number one
you're number two

2147
01:45:22,983 --> 01:45:23,983
Shut up.

2148
01:45:24,067 --> 01:45:25,359
That's my song.

2149
01:45:27,863 --> 01:45:28,988
(SIGHS)

2150
01:45:29,072 --> 01:45:32,366
You know, I missed all of you so much.

2151
01:45:32,451 --> 01:45:34,326
NADYA: There he is, right there!

2152
01:45:34,411 --> 01:45:37,163
Arrest him! Arrest that frog!

2153
01:45:37,247 --> 01:45:39,206
Nadya? Wait. For what?

2154
01:45:39,291 --> 01:45:42,918
For leading the largest
mass break-out in Gulag history.

2155
01:45:43,003 --> 01:45:46,213
You will get 30 years. Maybe 50.

2156
01:45:46,298 --> 01:45:48,799
-But...
-No "buts," Kermit.

2157
01:45:49,801 --> 01:45:53,804
You didn't finish Gulag Annual Revue,
and you didn't even say goodbye.

2158
01:45:53,889 --> 01:45:55,222
-What?
-What?

2159
01:45:55,307 --> 01:45:57,516
You are coming with me. Now, move!

2160
01:45:57,601 --> 01:45:59,560
(STAMMERING) Fellas, listen. Easy.

2161
01:45:59,644 --> 01:46:01,979
No, no, no! Kermit!

2162
01:46:02,439 --> 01:46:03,898
Wait!

2163
01:46:06,651 --> 01:46:08,569
We're sorry, Kermit.

2164
01:46:08,653 --> 01:46:10,404
We're sorry that
we didn't notice you were missing.

2165
01:46:11,156 --> 01:46:12,907
We're sorry we didn't tell you
often enough

2166
01:46:12,991 --> 01:46:15,493
how much you mean to all of us.

2167
01:46:16,661 --> 01:46:19,455
We're sorry we ever
took you for granted.

2168
01:46:22,084 --> 01:46:25,711
But that's never going to happen again.

2169
01:46:25,796 --> 01:46:29,799
Because if Kermit
has to go back to the gulag,

2170
01:46:32,010 --> 01:46:33,844
you'll have to take me, too.

2171
01:46:34,763 --> 01:46:35,763
No.

2172
01:46:35,847 --> 01:46:40,601
You're my best friend, Kermit.
Wherever you go, I go.

2173
01:46:42,020 --> 01:46:44,021
You'll have to take me, too.

2174
01:46:45,023 --> 01:46:46,023
And me.

2175
01:46:47,025 --> 01:46:50,361
GONZO: Kermit, we convinced
ourselves that evil frog was you

2176
01:46:50,821 --> 01:46:53,364
because he gave us
what we thought we wanted.

2177
01:46:53,448 --> 01:46:55,324
When what we really wanted...

2178
01:46:55,617 --> 01:46:57,284
What we really needed...

2179
01:46:57,369 --> 01:46:59,286
Was you, Kermit.

2180
01:46:59,371 --> 01:47:03,290
The actual, real you.

2181
01:47:13,218 --> 01:47:15,386
It would appear you were right, Kermit.

2182
01:47:16,805 --> 01:47:18,514
I guess this is your family.

2183
01:47:24,563 --> 01:47:26,188
And families belong together.

2184
01:47:29,067 --> 01:47:30,985
-You are free to go.
-ALL GASP)

2185
01:47:31,069 --> 01:47:32,194
Forever.

2186
01:47:32,404 --> 01:47:33,487
ALL CHEERING)

2187
01:47:33,572 --> 01:47:36,073
Kermit, did you hear that? We're free!

2188
01:47:36,158 --> 01:47:38,409
Nadya, thank you! Great!

2189
01:47:38,493 --> 01:47:40,161
That's wonderful!

2190
01:47:41,746 --> 01:47:42,872
Wait!

2191
01:47:44,583 --> 01:47:47,835
Hey, guys, listen.
We still have to finish our world tour.

2192
01:47:47,919 --> 01:47:50,421
And I know where we need to play next.

2193
01:47:50,505 --> 01:47:52,173
For one night only,

2194
01:47:52,257 --> 01:47:54,091
Siberia, Russia!

2195
01:47:54,634 --> 01:47:56,343
ALL CHEERING)

2196
01:47:56,761 --> 01:47:59,597
Yes, yes!
I'll pack my swimsuit right away!

2197
01:48:01,099 --> 01:48:03,017
Oh, wonderful!

2198
01:48:03,101 --> 01:48:06,270
It's terrible.
You will hate it. You will hate it.

2199
01:48:14,446 --> 01:48:17,448
KERMIT: Okay, guys, this is it.
The Gulag Finale!

2200
01:48:17,574 --> 01:48:18,657
Here we go!

2201
01:48:18,742 --> 01:48:20,868
A-one, two, three, four!

2202
01:48:24,539 --> 01:48:26,874
(SINGING) Together again, again

2203
01:48:26,958 --> 01:48:31,128
Gee, it's good to be
together again, again

2204
01:48:32,130 --> 01:48:35,799
l just can't imagine
that you've ever been gone

2205
01:48:35,884 --> 01:48:39,678
lt's not starting over
lt's just going on

2206
01:48:39,763 --> 01:48:42,139
Together again, again

2207
01:48:42,224 --> 01:48:43,224
Now we're here

2208
01:48:43,308 --> 01:48:47,186
And there's no need remembering when

2209
01:48:47,270 --> 01:48:51,106
Because no feeling
feels like that feeling

2210
01:48:52,150 --> 01:48:53,901
Together again

2211
01:48:53,985 --> 01:48:56,320
Again, again, again!

2212
01:48:56,655 --> 01:48:57,655
Whoo-hoo!

2213
01:48:59,783 --> 01:49:01,492
Together again, again

2214
01:49:01,576 --> 01:49:05,663
Gee, it's good to be
together again, again

2215
01:49:06,331 --> 01:49:09,333
l just can't imagine
that you've ever been gone

2216
01:49:09,417 --> 01:49:11,043
lt's not starting over

2217
01:49:11,127 --> 01:49:12,920
lt's just going on

2218
01:49:13,004 --> 01:49:14,922
Together again, again

2219
01:49:15,006 --> 01:49:16,173
Now we're here

2220
01:49:16,258 --> 01:49:18,842
And there's no need remembering when

2221
01:49:19,261 --> 01:49:22,846
'Cause no feeling feels like that feeling

2222
01:49:23,473 --> 01:49:25,057
Together again

2223
01:49:25,141 --> 01:49:26,183
Again

2224
01:49:30,438 --> 01:49:32,773
(SINGING IN RUSSIAN)

2225
01:49:42,200 --> 01:49:46,370
l just can't imagine
that you've ever been gone

2226
01:49:46,454 --> 01:49:50,416
lt's not starting over
lt's just going on

2227
01:49:50,500 --> 01:49:52,126
Together again, again

2228
01:49:52,210 --> 01:49:56,588
Gee, it's good to be
together again, again

2229
01:49:56,673 --> 01:50:00,301
'Cause no feeling feels like that feeling

2230
01:50:00,719 --> 01:50:04,221
Together a-...

2231
01:50:04,306 --> 01:50:07,850
Together again!

2232
01:50:20,989 --> 01:50:22,906
Okay, Nadya, this is it. Your solo.

2233
01:50:30,081 --> 01:50:32,249
NADYA: Kermit!

2234
01:50:36,379 --> 01:50:37,880
(FIREWORKS WHISTLING)

2235
01:50:40,550 --> 01:50:42,259
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

2236
01:52:42,463 --> 01:52:45,048
(HUMMING)

2237
01:52:45,133 --> 01:52:46,300
(LAUGHS)

2238
01:52:46,384 --> 01:52:47,384
(GRUNTING)

2239
01:52:53,600 --> 01:52:54,766
Oh, boy.

2240
01:52:55,310 --> 01:52:57,811
-Hey, pull the rope!
-Oh, right.

2241
01:52:58,521 --> 01:53:00,022
(BOTH GRUNTlNG)

2242
01:53:01,691 --> 01:53:03,609
This cast is really heavy.

2243
01:53:04,485 --> 01:53:05,485
Rowlf, come here.
Come here, come here.

2244
01:53:05,570 --> 01:53:06,570
ROWLF: Yeah, what do you got there?

2245
01:53:06,654 --> 01:53:07,696
FOZZlE: Take this.

2246
01:53:08,031 --> 01:53:09,489
(ROWLF GRUNTlNG)

2247
01:53:11,326 --> 01:53:13,702
You should have negotiated
a smaller font size.

2248
01:53:15,955 --> 01:53:17,247
(GROANS LOUDLY)

2249
01:53:17,790 --> 01:53:19,541
(SPEAKlNG GlBBERlSH)

2250
01:53:26,257 --> 01:53:29,218
l believe l may have
something that could help.

2251
01:53:29,302 --> 01:53:32,679
This is my automated
end-crawl operating machine.

2252
01:53:32,764 --> 01:53:37,142
All l have to do is push this button
and it will crawl all by itself.

2253
01:53:39,229 --> 01:53:41,146
-Whoa!
-(BEAKER SCREAMlNG)

2254
01:53:42,398 --> 01:53:44,024
Oh. Let's try this.

2255
01:53:46,903 --> 01:53:49,529
Another qualified success.

2256
01:53:49,739 --> 01:53:51,490
-(BEAKER MOANlNG)
-(SWEETUMS GROANlNG)

2257
01:56:45,706 --> 01:56:46,832
Check this out.

2258
01:56:51,504 --> 01:56:53,004
(LAUGHS)

2259
01:58:57,838 --> 01:59:01,007
You can go home now, Ma.
The movie is over.