1 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,560 They stand there, barking. 26 dogs. 2 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,520 I see their mean faces. They've come to kill. 3 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,600 And they tell my boss Bertold: 4 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:16,800 "Give us Boaz Rein, or we'll eat your customers. In 1 minute!" 5 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,080 26 dogs? - Exactly. 6 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:23,760 How do you know there are 26 and not 30? 7 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,440 I'm coming to that. 8 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,120 Well? - Well what? 9 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:36,840 Do you check it out? - What do you think happens? 10 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,400 I wake up! - At that point every time? 11 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,800 Exactly. It always stops there. 12 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,600 Since when? - Two and a half years. 13 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,520 And you call me now, at this hour? - Asshole! 14 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,400 Don't call me an asshole. 15 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,560 This dream is coming from somewhere. 16 00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:01,440 I haven't told you everything. - Like what? 17 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,160 You know, in Lebanon... 18 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:04,920 What about Lebanon? 19 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,440 At the start of the war, we went into Lebanese villages 20 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,160 to search for wanted Palestinians. 21 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,360 Yeah, and? 22 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:35,000 When someone enters a village, the dogs smell and bark to alert. 23 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:40,880 Everyone wakes up, and the fugitives take off. 24 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:46,160 Someone had to liquidate them. Otherwise our men would have died. 25 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,360 But why you? 26 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:52,360 They knew I couldn't shoot a person. They told me: 27 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,040 "Go ahead and shoot the dogs!" 28 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:15,720 26 dogs, I remember every single one. 29 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:21,640 Every face, every wound, the look in their eyes... 26 dogs. 30 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,880 How long before they started appearing in your dreams? 31 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:26,360 20 years. 32 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,840 Have you tried anything? - Like what? 33 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,880 Therapy, a psychiatrist, Shiatsu, anything... 34 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,640 No, nothing. I called you. 35 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,520 I'm just a filmmaker! 36 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,840 Can't films be therapeutic? 37 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,440 You've dealt with all the issues in your films, right? 38 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,200 But nothing like this. 39 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,320 No flashbacks from Lebanon? 40 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,720 No. Not really. 41 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,120 Are you sure? 42 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,560 No. 43 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,520 Beirut, Sabra and Shatila? - What about that? 44 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,720 You were only 100 yards away from the massacre! 45 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:07,560 More like 200 or 300 yards. 46 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,320 The truth is that's not stored in my system. 47 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,920 No flashbacks or dreams? You never think about it? 48 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,000 No, no. 49 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,040 No. 50 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,240 You'll be okay, huh? 51 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,920 You think so? - Sure. 52 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,440 You're sure? - Yes. I'll think of something. 53 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,240 Sure? - Sure. 54 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,840 The meeting with Boaz took place in winter, 2006. 55 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:19,480 That night, for the first time in 20 years, 56 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,160 I had a flashback of the war in Lebanon. 57 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,960 Not just Lebanon, West Beirut. Not just Beirut, 58 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:31,640 but the massacre at the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps. 59 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,640 What's wrong? It's 6:30 in the morning! 60 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:03,680 We all have friends who are lawyers, doctors, therapists... 61 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:07,360 Sometimes that friendship costs them. 62 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:11,440 But you wouldn't wake your lawyer friend at 6:30! 63 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,560 My lawyer is 10 times cheaper than you! 64 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,000 I just don't understand. 65 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:23,400 Why Boaz's dream with the dogs? 66 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:29,360 Why that to jog my memory? It has nothing to do with me. 67 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:34,480 Memory is fascinating. Take this psychological experiment... 68 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:43,640 A group of people were shown 10 various childhood images. 69 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,760 Nine were really from their childhood and one was fake: 70 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:53,000 Their portrait was pasted into a fairground they never visited. 71 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,880 Eighty percent recognized themselves... 72 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,320 They recognized the fake photo as real! 73 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,440 Twenty percent couldn't remember. 74 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,080 The researchers asked them again. 75 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,880 The second time, the others said that they remembered the image. 76 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,800 "Such a wonderful day at the park with my parents. " 77 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,400 They remembered a completely fabricated experience. 78 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:27,320 Memory is dynamic. It's alive. 79 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,640 If some details are missing, 80 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:35,760 memory fills the holes with things that never happened. 81 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:44,160 So my vision of the massacre is like the fake photo? 82 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:49,040 It never happened? I invented it? It's not real? 83 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,040 I don't know. Who was there with you? 84 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,040 Carmi was there. You know him from school. 85 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,960 And someone else I don't recognize. 86 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:05,360 So go ask Carmi what he remembers. - He's in Holland. 87 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,960 He's lived there for 20 years. 88 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,800 Go to Holland and ask him if it bothers you. 89 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,200 Isn't that dangerous? 90 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:17,400 Maybe I'll discover things I don't want to know about myself? 91 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,080 Not at all. 92 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:23,520 You'll discover important things that you want to know. 93 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:27,560 We don't go places where we really don't want to. 94 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:32,160 A human mechanism prevents us from entering dark places. 95 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:36,360 Memory takes us where we need to go. 96 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,240 See all that? 97 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,240 Yes. 98 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,160 It's all mine. 99 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,400 All of it? 100 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,760 From those trees to the river. 101 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,400 It all belongs to you? - Yes, and the house. 102 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,360 It's about 10 acres. 103 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:37,000 All that just from selling falafel? - Just from falafel! 104 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,000 Wow! - Come and see. 105 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,200 How much falafel did you sell? - Three years was enough. 106 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:52,160 In the early '90s I had a small stand in Utrecht. 107 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,440 Health food was in fashion. The Middle East too... 108 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,400 Falafel is both healthy and Middle Eastern. 109 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,480 Everyone thought you'd become a nuclear physicist. 110 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,440 Who did? 111 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,480 I don't know, your family, my family, our school friends. 112 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:15,400 They thought that by the age of 40 you'd be nominated for a Nobel Prize. 113 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:17,880 By 20, that future was over. 114 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:20,960 Cold? 115 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,880 Cold? I'm freezing! - Let's go inside. 116 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,760 We have to walk all that way? 117 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,360 It's funny you've showed up now. 118 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,400 Why? - When you called... 119 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:39,760 I had just gone out with my son Thomas. He's seven. 120 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:43,720 He was playing with a toy gun and started asking questions. 121 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:47,000 "What did you do in the army? Ever shoot anyone?" 122 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:49,400 Did you? - I don't know. 123 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,240 Let's go inside and warm up. 124 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,400 Would you mind if I sketch you and your son playing in the snow? 125 00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,720 No. 126 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,400 Not at all. Draw as much as you like. 127 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,600 I'll fetch him. 128 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,680 It's fine as long as you draw, but don't film. 129 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:20,720 As strange as it sounds, we were transported to war 130 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:26,360 on a little "Love Boat" leased by the army or God knows what. 131 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:31,160 They wanted to mislead the enemy and launch a surprise attack. 132 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:37,040 What do you mean a "Love Boat"? With jacuzzis and bars? 133 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:42,880 All of that? - That's how I imagined it. 134 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:49,440 I later found out it was just an old commando boat. 135 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:54,200 For 18 you seemed pretty bright to me. I never took you for a fighter. 136 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:58,120 Frankly, it was important to me for a pretty practical reason. 137 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:02,320 I felt like everyone else was screwing like rabbits. 138 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,280 and that I was the only... How can I put it? 139 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:09,200 The only nerd good at chess and Math 140 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:14,480 but with masculinity problems. So, I had to prove to everyone 141 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,320 that I was the best fighter and some big hero. 142 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,680 Did you succeed? 143 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,600 Yes, surprisingly enough. 144 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,800 I felt that I was strong and capable. 145 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:32,560 Then the war started and they put us on that damned "Love Boat" 146 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,760 Then I... - You what? 147 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:41,880 I puked like a pig! I wondered what the enemy would think. 148 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,120 I finally collapsed on deck and fell asleep. 149 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,480 I sleep when I'm scared. 150 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,760 To this day, I escape into sleep and hallucinate. 151 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:35,760 Unconscious on the deck, 152 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:44,200 dreaming a woman would come 153 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,640 and take me for the first time, 154 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:59,040 I saw my best friends go up in flames before my eyes. 155 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,200 Where? - On the boat. 156 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,960 I woke up just before we docked. It's dawn, and we're in a city. 157 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,840 Which city? - How should I know? 158 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,320 Sidon, I think. 159 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:48,360 Out of pure fear and anxiety we start shooting like lunatics. 160 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,280 At whom? - How do I know? 161 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:58,040 Then an old Mercedes drives up. 162 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,880 Everyone fires at it like crazy. 163 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,280 Two years of training, and the fear, 164 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,920 the uncontrollable fear... 165 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:17,400 Then the silence. The terrible silence of death. 166 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:20,720 At daybreak 167 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:26,800 we could see our destruction, 168 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,880 without knowing where we were. 169 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,440 Lying in the car... 170 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,840 What was in the car? 171 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,600 The bodies of a whole family. 172 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:42,800 Why did you come here? 173 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,040 Me? I... 174 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:47,760 I lost my memory. 175 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,520 In an accident? - What? 176 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,480 Did you have an accident? - What do you mean? 177 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,920 In a car or at work? 178 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,800 No, I didn't have an accident. 179 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,120 I just can't remember anything about the Lebanon War. 180 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:08,360 Just one image in my mind. 181 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,960 Somehow you're in it. 182 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:14,720 What image? 183 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,680 Were you there too? 184 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,500 It's hard to say. 185 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,280 What do you mean? Were you there? 186 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,000 It's hard to say. 187 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,760 I don't remember anything about the massacre. 188 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,080 But you were in Beirut when the massacre took place. 189 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:09,920 Yes, I remember being there. 190 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:13,080 I'll never forget us marching into Beirut. 191 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,120 But the massacre... How did you say it? 192 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,200 That's not stored in my system. 193 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,360 Right. Massacre... 194 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:01,560 Then it happened in a taxi to Amsterdam airport... 195 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,560 Suddenly all the memories came back. 196 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,920 Not a hallucination nor my subconscious. 197 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:12,120 The first day of the war. Barely 19, I haven't even started shaving. 198 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,560 We're driving down a road. Orchards on one side, 199 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:20,720 the sea on the other. We're shooting everywhere 200 00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:23,240 at everything, until nightfall. 201 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,840 That evening, when we stopped, an officer tells me: 202 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:34,200 "Load up the dead and wounded. 203 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,960 Go and dump them. " 204 00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:40,480 - "Dump?" - "Yes, dump. " 205 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,120 "Where?" 206 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:48,200 "How should I know? Out there, near that bright light. 207 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,880 That's where they're dumped. " 208 00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:01,160 So I drive all the way back. 209 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:05,920 I had never seen an open wound or any kind of bleeding before. 210 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,040 Now I was in command of a tank 211 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:13,400 full of the dead and wounded, looking for a bright light, salvation. 212 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,680 What should we do? Why don't you tell us what to do? 213 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:25,920 Shoot. - At who? 214 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:27,920 How do I know? Just shoot. 215 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,840 Isn't it better to pray? - Then pray and shoot. 216 00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:46,840 Finally we see the helicopter lights. Like halos. 217 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:52,120 As we get closer to the light, we see dead and wounded everywhere. 218 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:30,520 We unload mechanically, as if we're not even present. 219 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,600 Then we turn around and drive off. 220 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,480 On the first day of the war, 221 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,840 I transported the dead and wounded 222 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,160 from tanks on the coast road. 223 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,960 I'm looking for people who were with me. 224 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,480 Could your men have been among them? 225 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:19,480 It sounds logical... We were in the coastal area. 226 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,480 In the western sector... It's possible. 227 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,480 Do you recognize me here? 228 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,080 No. 229 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,960 I don't recognize myself either. 230 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:53,440 Crossing the border at Rosh Hanikra, felt like an excursion. 231 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:55,120 We took photos, 232 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,480 we told jokes... 233 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,960 We had time to fool around before going into action. 234 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,000 Good morning, Lebanon 235 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:22,960 Too much pain to carry on 236 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:29,160 Good morning, Lebanon 237 00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:35,120 The landscape was beautiful, trees all around, 238 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:40,720 a few scattered houses... A really idyllic pastoral scene. 239 00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:44,280 The slow drive allowed us to enjoy the scenery. 240 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,000 May your dreams come true 241 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:57,840 May your nightmares pass 242 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:03,840 Your existence is a blessing, Lebanon 243 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,600 In a tank, you always feel really safe. 244 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:12,360 A tank is a very massive enclosed vehicle. 245 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:14,680 Inside the tank, 246 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:16,400 we were protected. 247 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,000 You are torn to pieces 248 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,000 You bleed to death in my arms 249 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,000 You bleed to death in my arms 250 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,320 You are the love of my life 251 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:47,040 Oh, my short, short life 252 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:52,480 Tear me to pieces 253 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,880 I'm bleeding... 254 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:05,640 Suddenly our commander stopped responding. We lost contact. 255 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,640 Was he beside you? - Yes. 256 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:12,440 I saw his head slumped forward. 257 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:17,200 I went down inside and saw blood, blood in the tank. 258 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:23,680 The blood was coming from his neck. 259 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:30,160 You were next in command? - Yes, I was. 260 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,240 But I didn't react immediately. 261 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:38,040 We just stayed in the tank without even thinking of firing back. 262 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:42,840 Two minutes later, 263 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:47,200 there was an explosion. Everyone tried to escape from the tank hysterically... 264 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:54,600 without weapons or anything... 265 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,800 Those who stayed inside, were killed in the tank. 266 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,240 I ran as fast as I could 267 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,200 in zigzags towards the sea. 268 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:29,760 My only thought: 269 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:33,400 It's over. I'm done for. 270 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:38,760 They'll be here any minute. All I can do is wait for the end. 271 00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:48,880 I saw the building from which they were shooting, and the commander. 272 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:54,240 I hoped he'd get closer. 273 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:24,320 I don't know why, but he started to retreat. 274 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:39,960 I felt abandoned by our forces. 275 00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:48,640 I imagined how my mother would react. 276 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:53,520 We're very close. I was always like her right hand. 277 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:58,440 I'm the only one who helps out at home. 278 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,000 Like the firstborn son. 279 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:07,640 I took a peek. I saw them chatting, smoking. 280 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,760 I wondered why 281 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,160 they didn't notice me. 282 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,800 I peeked a few more times, I realized that they probably thought 283 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:23,480 that everyone was killed in the attack. 284 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,920 I decided to wait until dark. 285 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,600 I had a good place to hide. 286 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,760 I don't know why, but I decided 287 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,480 to crawl out to the sea. 288 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:54,040 I didn't want to stay close to shore, so I swam quite far out. 289 00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:59,960 When I felt I was far out enough I started swimming south. 290 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:01,360 How was the sea? 291 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:05,560 Really calm, no waves. 292 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:09,320 I felt calm and at peace. Just me and the sea. 293 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:27,560 I felt safe, because the sea was calm and peaceful. 294 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,080 But I was still really afraid 295 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:35,120 that my strength would fail and I'd drown. 296 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:40,200 Or maybe someone might spot me and shoot at me, kill me. 297 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:55,320 While swimming through this peaceful water, 298 00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,720 I suddenly heard a loud noise. 299 00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:00,840 I felt the water pulsating. 300 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:05,400 I felt the turbulent water enveloping me. 301 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:10,240 My body shook with fear. 302 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:42,640 I saw lights in the distance and I headed in that direction. 303 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:45,640 They might be Israeli forces. 304 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:49,840 I kept swimming but felt my strength was dwindling. 305 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,680 I could barely move my limbs. 306 00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:07,320 Sometimes I simply let the water carry me along. 307 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,960 I eventually reached shore and started walking. 308 00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:24,240 I heard voices speaking Hebrew on the two-way radio. 309 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:26,880 I knew 310 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:31,760 that I had to get to them despite my exhaustion. 311 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:43,240 To my amazement, it was the regiment that had abandoned me. 312 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:50,600 After I got back to my regiment, 313 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,200 I felt like... 314 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,920 like it was me who had abandoned my comrades. 315 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,400 I always felt that they regarded me like... 316 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:09,440 like someone who didn't help rescue his friends. 317 00:35:09,442 --> 00:35:14,000 As if I had fled the battlefield just to save my own skin. 318 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,440 I sometimes felt very uneasy. 319 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:20,920 I broke off contact with the families of the dead. 320 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:25,000 At first I visited their graves, but then I just stopped. 321 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:32,880 I wanted to forget. I didn't want to relive those moments. 322 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:37,440 Visiting the graves, you felt... - Guilty. 323 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,960 I felt guilty standing at their graves. 324 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,960 As if I didn't do enough. 325 00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:45,720 I didn't do enough. 326 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:51,920 I wasn't the hero type who carries weapons and saves everyone's life. 327 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:55,200 That's not me. I'm not the type. 328 00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:34,920 I bombed Sidon today 329 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:40,920 amid the clouds of smoke at dawn 330 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:45,800 I almost went home in a coffin 331 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,840 I bombed Sidon today 332 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:57,480 One month after Ronnie Dayag swam back home safely. 333 00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:01,320 the army took the beach from which he had fled. 334 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:05,400 They told us we'd soon attack Beirut and that we'd all die. 335 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:10,240 But on the beach, we didn't think much about death. 336 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,760 I had a hut of banana leaves. 337 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:14,920 Thinking back, 338 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:20,640 the smell of Patchouli Oil still makes me nauseous. 339 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:26,560 It was really popular in the '80s. For my roommate Frenkel, 340 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:32,280 Patchouli was not just a fragrance, it was a way of life. 341 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,560 Patchouli... How do you use it? 342 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:04,520 Show me. 343 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,680 You sprinkle a drop on your hand, like this. 344 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:19,320 This way, 345 00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:22,480 your comrades always know you're there. 346 00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:26,480 I remember my men telling me: 347 00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:31,760 "Frenkel, you walk too fast. Like a rabbit. " 348 00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:37,440 So what do you do? Patchouli! 349 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:41,240 In the dark, at night... They couldn't miss me! 350 00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:45,720 The scent is really strong, even out in the field. 351 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:47,920 I still use it. 352 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:53,560 I bombed Beirut today 353 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,920 I bombed Beirut every day 354 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:04,800 If I came close to death I couldn't say 355 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:08,280 I bombed Beirut every day 356 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:13,680 At the pull of a trigger 357 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,520 We can send strangers straight to Hell 358 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,680 Sure, we kill some innocent along the way 359 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:30,320 If I came close to death I couldn't say 360 00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:31,920 I bombed Beirut every day 361 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,680 Our daily routine was this: 362 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:39,720 Get up in the morning, 363 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:45,160 prepare breakfast on those frying pans, 364 00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:47,760 potted beef and eggs. 365 00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:49,920 On the beach. - On the beach. 366 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:51,940 Take a quick swim, 367 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:55,440 back into uniform, then go after some terrorists. 368 00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:21,800 Someone yelled, "Frenkel!" 369 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,960 I noticed a boy holding an RPG. 370 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:27,840 A kid. 371 00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:42,920 Frenkel, was I there too? 372 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:47,760 Sure. From training camp, you were with me wherever I went. 373 00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,640 Even there? - Yes, there too. 374 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,240 Good to know. Of course I was there. 375 00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:59,920 Is it possible that I can't remember such a dramatic event? 376 00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:01,960 We call them "dissociative events". 377 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:06,680 It's when a person is in a situation but feels outside it. 378 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:10,800 I was once visited by a young man, an amateur photographer. 379 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,520 I asked him in 1983, "How did you survive through that grueling war?" 380 00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,840 He replied, "It was quite easy. I regarded it as a long day-trip. " 381 00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:23,080 He told himself. "Wow! What great scenes: 382 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:26,360 shooting, artillery, wounded people, screaming... " 383 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:31,600 He looked at everything as if through an imaginary camera. 384 00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:46,680 Then something happened: 385 00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:49,760 his 'camera' broke. 386 00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,720 He said that the situation turned traumatic for him 387 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:09,560 when they arrived in the vicinity of the stables in Beirut. 388 00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:11,000 The Hippodrome. 389 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:15,080 He saw a huge number of carcasses 390 00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:19,320 of slaughtered Arabian horses. 391 00:43:19,720 --> 00:43:24,520 "It broke my heart. " He said. "What had those horses done 392 00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,080 to deserve such suffering?" 393 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,680 He couldn't handle seeing those dead and wounded horses. 394 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,800 He had used a mechanism to remain outside events, 395 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,520 as if watching the war on film instead of participating. 396 00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:39,920 This protected him. 397 00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:44,480 Once pulled into the events, he could no longer deny reality. 398 00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,960 Horror surrounded him and he freaked out. 399 00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:59,880 You told me earlier that you can't remember being in the orchard 400 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:01,480 where the boy with the RPG was. 401 00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:04,280 Can you remember other things? Like going home, 402 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,440 chatting with friends, events from that time, 403 00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:13,720 something that maybe reminds you of that time? 404 00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,960 Yes, in detail. - For example? 405 00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:20,040 I can remember perfectly every furlough. 406 00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:11,640 I remember when I was about 10, there was a war going on. 407 00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,160 And everything came to a halt. All the fathers were at the front. 408 00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:19,480 All children sat with their mothers closed up indoors, 409 00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:23,000 behind closed blinds in the dark. 410 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,600 Just waiting for a plane to drop a bomb and kill them all. 411 00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:32,000 No one even dreamed of going outside. 412 00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:37,120 When I went home from Lebanon for the first time in six weeks, 413 00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:41,080 and saw that life was carrying on normally. 414 00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:57,160 My goal on leave was to get back my girlfriend Yaeli. 415 00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:00,400 She had dumped me the night before all of this started. 416 00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:24,440 Remember, how? Add some Sprite... 417 00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:26,240 Ready? 418 00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:32,360 Bottoms up! 419 00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:37,960 The memories are coming back. 420 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:43,200 I met people who served with me. I almost have the full picture. 421 00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:46,520 At which point? - The first day of the war, 422 00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:49,080 the siege on Beirut. 423 00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:51,560 You remember that Yaeli dumped you a week before? 424 00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:53,600 How do you know? 425 00:46:57,280 --> 00:47:00,520 Didn't you know that I was in love with her for years? 426 00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,080 No, I didn't know that. 427 00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:06,720 It's true. 428 00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,440 What's wrong? That was 20 years ago. 429 00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:14,280 It's OK. I'm not angry. 430 00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:19,520 At least you had your home, your family. 431 00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:22,800 What home? What family? 432 00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:24,800 You have no idea. 433 00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:26,360 My father... 434 00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:32,400 To comfort me, he told me that in his war, 435 00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:34,640 World War II... 436 00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:36,480 Russian soldiers in Stalingrad 437 00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:40,000 were given 48 hours leave only after one year on the front. 438 00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:53,720 They got on a train, arrived home at the station, 439 00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,680 kissed their girlfriends on the platform, 440 00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:01,360 then had to get back on board to head back to the front. 441 00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:03,000 Understand? 442 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:10,800 He thought it would comfort me. In fact, he was right. 443 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:14,280 After only 24 hours I was called back to duty. 444 00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,880 Back then, a new trend started: car bombs. 445 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:19,720 Still popular today. 446 00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,600 They're a blast! 447 00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:24,960 A real blast! 448 00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:30,680 So I arrive at this villa on the outskirts of Beirut. 449 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,200 Everything is made of gold. 450 00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:43,560 Fancy sinks, marble, gold fixtures and all that stuff. 451 00:48:45,720 --> 00:48:49,960 An officer sits in front of the TV. He doesn't look at me. 452 00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:53,400 He keeps repeating: "Fast forward. " 453 00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:56,160 Fast forward. 454 00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:58,200 THE PLUMBER COMES 2 455 00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:02,640 I'm here to check your plumbing. - Down here. 456 00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:12,040 Have you seen my tool? - Which tool? 457 00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:19,640 Fast forward. 458 00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:31,800 Stop. 459 00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:45,920 He changes the tape and says: 460 00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:50,280 We received a tip-off about a red Mercedes. 461 00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:52,280 It's coming to blow up your men. - So? 462 00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:54,920 Blow it up first. 463 00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:58,200 Every red Mercedes? - Are you an idiot? 464 00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:00,720 Did the Mercedes come? 465 00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:06,560 We waited all night for the exploding Mercedes, 466 00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,720 for this impending disaster. 467 00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:50,040 Then, in the middle of the night, the phone rang. 468 00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:52,800 Bashir is dead. 469 00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:55,360 Which Bashir? - Bashir Gemayel, 470 00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:58,000 the elected president of Lebanon. 471 00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:02,880 A brother, an ally, a Christian. Murdered. 472 00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:07,480 Wake everyone up. You'll be in Beirut in two hours! 473 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:11,240 I don't remember much about the flight to Beirut, 474 00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:15,440 except that I was having obsessive thoughts about death. 475 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:19,480 Because my girlfriend Yaeli had dumped me the week before. 476 00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:22,680 Death would be my revenge. 477 00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:25,840 She would be ridden with guilt 478 00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:28,120 for the rest of her life. 479 00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:34,320 While fantasizing about my death, 480 00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:36,840 we approach Beirut. 481 00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:39,480 A city with hotels, beaches, 482 00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:41,880 and people scurrying about. 483 00:51:42,240 --> 00:51:45,000 We land at the international airport. 484 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:50,480 Our Hercules army helicopter lands next to jets from Air France, TWA, 485 00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:52,760 and British Airways. 486 00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:56,600 I was excited like I was going on a trip abroad, 487 00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:59,520 excited all over. 488 00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,000 At some point I simply take off 489 00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:11,440 and walk into the terminal. 490 00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,200 It felt as if I was on a leisure trip, 491 00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:18,960 a sort of hallucination. 492 00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:21,480 Like standing in a terminal 493 00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:24,600 waiting to choose my destination. 494 00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:28,080 Before that '80s departures board, 495 00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:31,720 the choice is all mine. 496 00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:34,840 I see the 14:10 to London, 497 00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,200 the 15:20 to Paris, 498 00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:38,720 the 16:00 to New York... 499 00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:42,640 I wander through the terminal and see the duty-free shops: 500 00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,080 jewellery, tobacco, 501 00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:49,520 alcohol... 502 00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:54,000 While I'm still on this trip, I suddenly realize what's going on. 503 00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:57,800 Through the window I see 504 00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:02,640 that all the TWA and Air France planes are just bombed- out shells. 505 00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:05,640 And the shops are empty, 506 00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:07,880 they've long since been looted. 507 00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:12,640 And the schedule board hasn't changed for months. 508 00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:16,640 Then I start to hear sounds, voices. 509 00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:21,160 I hear shelling in the city and the bombing by the air force. 510 00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:23,560 Slowly I begin to realize where I am 511 00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:26,680 and I am afraid of what will happen next. 512 00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:35,160 We start walking from the airport to the city. 513 00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:38,760 Tall high-rise hotels hover above us. 514 00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:41,800 The sea is at our side. 515 00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:54,640 We walk along a promenade towards a large junction. 516 00:53:55,720 --> 00:54:00,520 Then we come under sniper fire from the upper floors of a hotel. 517 00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:06,920 We can't see where it's coming from or who is shooting. 518 00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:11,880 A wounded soldier was lying at the junction, but we couldn't get to him. 519 00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:14,120 We were scared to death. 520 00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:28,440 Then, in the middle of this hell, 521 00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:33,240 that TV correspondent Ron Ben- Yishai suddenly shows up. 522 00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:38,760 He's walking upright, dodging bullets like Superman. 523 00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:43,160 Strolling along as if nothing's wrong, while bullets whiz past him. 524 00:54:43,720 --> 00:54:47,640 In front of him, a terrified cameraman crawls forward. 525 00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:52,840 Trembling with fear, he can't see beyond his helmet. 526 00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:55,760 It was a large junction. 527 00:54:56,680 --> 00:55:01,640 One lane led directly into Hamra street, 528 00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:05,160 to the West Beirut district of Hamra. 529 00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:09,640 I remember the sizzling sound, a sort of hissing noise... 530 00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:14,160 They were firing masses of RPGs, and it sounded 531 00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:17,000 like a Native American arrow-shooting range. 532 00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:20,760 Before an RPG explodes, it makes this hissing noise. 533 00:55:22,720 --> 00:55:25,360 You don't hear an explosion, 534 00:55:25,720 --> 00:55:29,720 but just this hissing, then the walls shattering. 535 00:55:30,720 --> 00:55:36,200 During all this, civilians are seen on balconies: 536 00:55:37,240 --> 00:55:38,200 women, children, 537 00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:43,040 and old people are watching as if it were a film. 538 00:55:55,880 --> 00:56:00,880 They are shooting at us from all directions. 539 00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,080 And we can't get across. 540 00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:13,320 Throughout my military service I was a MAG shooter. 541 00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:15,840 During my officer's training, I thought, 542 00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:20,080 "You've used a MAG for so long, why not try something else?" 543 00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:22,000 So they gave me a Galil. 544 00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:28,040 And while they're shooting at us from all directions, 545 00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:33,400 I realize that I can't shoot with the Galil like I could before. 546 00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:38,680 I missed the good old MAG that I was familiar with. 547 00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:42,800 So I say to Erez, "Erez, do me a favor. 548 00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:49,600 Give me your MAG. I won't make it across with the Galil. 549 00:56:49,602 --> 00:56:52,480 Give me your MAG and we'll cross the street. 550 00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:54,900 I'll shoot better. " 551 00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:58,640 He says, " Frenkel, are you nuts? 552 00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:03,480 They're attacking us! Stop babbling and shoot!" 553 00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:08,640 I finally realize that I must 554 00:57:08,720 --> 00:57:11,920 take drastic steps. I grab him and say, 555 00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:16,000 "Listen, Erez, give me the MAG, or I'll take it by force!" 556 00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:44,400 Whether an eternity or just a minute, 557 00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:46,960 there was Frenkel at the junction 558 00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:50,520 with bullets flying past him in every direction. 559 00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:53,560 Instead of crossing the junction, 560 00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:56,880 I saw him dancing, as if in a trance. 561 00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:01,640 He cursed the shooters. Like he wanted to stay there forever. 562 00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:06,480 As if he wanted to show off his waltz amid the gunfire, 563 00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:09,520 with the posters of Bashir above his head. 564 00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:13,120 And Bashir's followers 565 00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:15,440 preparing their big revenge just 200 yards away: 566 00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:19,320 The Sabra and Shatila massacre. 567 00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:32,400 I'm starting to remember. 568 00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:35,960 I've met people, I've heard stories... 569 00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:38,040 Stories about myself. 570 00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:40,040 I didn't want to believe them. 571 00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:45,360 So what can't you remember? 572 00:58:45,880 --> 00:58:50,400 The day of the massacre. I can remember everything else. 573 00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:55,400 I don't understand why people were so surprised 574 00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:58,840 that the Phalangists carried out the massacre. 575 00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:01,880 I knew all along how ruthless they were. 576 00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:10,440 During the storming of Beirut we were in the slaughterhouse. 577 00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:13,880 Where? - The slaughterhouse, that junk yard 578 00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:19,400 where they took the Palestinians, interrogated them, and executed them. 579 00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:22,680 It was like being on an LSD trip. 580 00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:33,080 They carried body parts of murdered Palestinians 581 00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:35,680 preserved in jars of formaldehyde. 582 00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:42,480 They had fingers, eyeballs, anything you wanted. 583 00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:50,640 And always pictures of Bashir. 584 00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:54,600 Bashir pendants, Bashir watches, Bashir this, Bashir that... 585 00:59:55,000 --> 01:00:00,680 Bashir was to them what David Bowie was to me. 586 01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:05,360 A star, an idol, a prince, admirable. 587 01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:09,160 I think they even felt an eroticism for him. 588 01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:11,440 Totally erotic. 589 01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:17,240 Their idol was about to become king. We were the ones to crown him. 590 01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:20,280 The next day he was murdered. 591 01:00:20,680 --> 01:00:24,160 It was obvious they'd avenge his death in some perverse way. 592 01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:28,040 It was as if their wife had been murdered. 593 01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:31,640 This was about family honor, which runs deep. 594 01:00:34,760 --> 01:00:35,960 Why did you come back? 595 01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:41,520 I'm still having these hallucinations about the massacre on the beach. 596 01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:45,000 And you're there with me. 597 01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:24,800 You're crazy. 598 01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,320 You're obsessed. 599 01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:32,080 Beach? What are you talking about? Who was on the beach that night? 600 01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:34,440 What beach? 601 01:01:45,080 --> 01:01:47,600 I've reached a dead end. 602 01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:52,120 I can't find anyone who was with me at the massacre. 603 01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:55,680 No one who was with me 604 01:01:56,080 --> 01:02:00,640 has any solid memories of the days of the massacre. 605 01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:04,040 I only have this one vision. 606 01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:09,800 And Carmi, the only person in my vision, denies being there with me. 607 01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:12,440 It's still real. - It's a vision. 608 01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:15,680 But it's yours. Shall I explain? - Yes. 609 01:02:16,080 --> 01:02:20,560 What does the sea symbolize in dreams? Fear. Feelings. 610 01:02:21,640 --> 01:02:25,840 The massacre frightens you, makes you uneasy. You were close to it. 611 01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:27,800 That doesn't help me much. 612 01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:33,200 Your interest in the massacre developed long before it happened. 613 01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,680 Your interest in the massacre stems from another massacre. 614 01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:41,360 Your interest in those camps is actually about the "other" camps. 615 01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:43,520 Were your parents in camps? - Yes. 616 01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:45,240 Auschwitz? - Yes. 617 01:02:45,880 --> 01:02:50,120 So the massacre has been with you since you were six. 618 01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:53,520 You lived through the massacre and those camps. 619 01:02:54,200 --> 01:02:58,240 Your only solution is to find out what really happened 620 01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:02,320 in Sabra and Shatila. Seek out people. 621 01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:05,520 Find out what really happened, ask who was there. 622 01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:09,000 Get details and more details. That way... 623 01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:14,760 Then maybe you can find out where you were exactly. 624 01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:17,080 and what role you played. 625 01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:30,600 On that day we were sent to a certain post. 626 01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:34,640 It was actually on a hill. This hill 627 01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:38,840 was opposite the western sector of the refugee camp. 628 01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:44,480 From where I was, I could see the settlement houses. 629 01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:47,440 There was occasional shooting. We tried to locate them 630 01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:49,640 and retaliate. 631 01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:56,880 The Christian Phalangist forces began to arrive. 632 01:03:57,280 --> 01:04:00,360 In full kit, soldiers in Israeli uniforms 633 01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:03,120 took position behind tanks. 634 01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:08,680 I was called for a briefing. It was in English. 635 01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:13,320 What was it about? - They told us that the Christians 636 01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:16,800 would enter the camp and we would give them cover. 637 01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:20,880 Once they had purged the camps. 638 01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:23,360 we would seize control. 639 01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:26,560 Purged of what? - Palestinian Terrorists. 640 01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:18,920 The next morning, they began to bring out civilians. 641 01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:30,520 The civilians were led out of the camps 642 01:05:30,920 --> 01:05:34,480 in a long line. 643 01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:38,400 The Phalangists watched on, constantly shouting at them 644 01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:41,080 and occasionally firing into the air. 645 01:05:42,320 --> 01:05:43,880 There were women, old people, 646 01:05:44,280 --> 01:05:48,800 and children walking in a line towards the stadium. 647 01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:56,920 From inside the tank, did you wonder where they were taking them? 648 01:05:56,980 --> 01:05:59,160 Did you think about it? 649 01:05:59,190 --> 01:06:02,560 Not really, because wherever we went, 650 01:06:02,590 --> 01:06:05,720 an announcement was made upon entering a camp. 651 01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:11,600 Civilians were ordered out. Those remaining were considered rebels. 652 01:06:11,690 --> 01:06:17,240 It seemed quite natural to say to the residents, 653 01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:20,760 "If you don't want to get hurt, then come out!" 654 01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:47,720 On that day I drove to Docha, a city on the coast. 655 01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:52,200 It had an Israel Defense Forces landing field. 656 01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:54,400 On the way, 657 01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:57,960 many Phalangist half-track vehicles appeared. 658 01:06:58,360 --> 01:07:03,920 They shouted with joy as they headed towards the airfield. 659 01:07:04,320 --> 01:07:08,320 At the airfield, I met a Colonel friend. 660 01:07:08,920 --> 01:07:11,080 He told me, 661 01:07:12,120 --> 01:07:15,120 "Have you heard what's happening in the refugee camps?" 662 01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:18,000 He had pointed to Sabra and Shatila. 663 01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:21,000 "What's happening?" I asked. 664 01:07:21,400 --> 01:07:27,040 "I didn't witness it myself, but they say there was a terrible massacre. " 665 01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:33,440 Palestinians were slaughtered. I heard they put them on trucks. 666 01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:38,640 I was told that crucifixes were carved on their chests. 667 01:07:39,040 --> 01:07:43,800 They were wounded, some in critical condition. 668 01:07:44,240 --> 01:07:46,720 They were put on trucks and taken to an unknown destination. 669 01:07:56,200 --> 01:07:59,720 We saw a Phalangist soldier 670 01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:02,280 taking an old man away. 671 01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:08,560 At some point we heard shots. 672 01:08:09,280 --> 01:08:11,160 We heard shots. 673 01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:15,080 Then the soldier came out alone. 674 01:08:15,480 --> 01:08:18,720 We asked him what happened. 675 01:08:19,440 --> 01:08:25,440 We couldn't hear him, but his gestures meant "Boom!" 676 01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:30,440 We understood that he'd told the man to kneel down before him. 677 01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:33,800 When he refused, he shot his knees. When he refused again, 678 01:08:34,200 --> 01:08:36,000 he shot him in the stomach and head. 679 01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:43,000 Didn't you ever realize 680 01:08:43,640 --> 01:08:47,520 that trucks were going in empty and coming out full, 681 01:08:48,520 --> 01:08:52,520 women and children were brought out and bulldozers went in? 682 01:08:53,520 --> 01:08:54,520 That maybe a massacre is taking place? 683 01:08:55,080 --> 01:08:59,000 Did you wonder why you didn't realize earlier? 684 01:09:00,480 --> 01:09:02,000 Yes, of course. 685 01:09:03,280 --> 01:09:09,000 I realized something was happening only when my men told me. 686 01:09:09,480 --> 01:09:11,600 From the top of their tanks, 687 01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:16,720 they started shouting, "They are shooting people!" 688 01:09:28,640 --> 01:09:32,640 They claim that people were lined up against the well and shot. 689 01:09:33,360 --> 01:09:37,680 So I called my commanding officer. 690 01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:42,160 I told him what I heard was going on in the camps. 691 01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:47,800 He said, “We know about it. It's under control. We reported it. " 692 01:09:48,360 --> 01:09:52,400 As far as I was concerned, the army was handling it. 693 01:09:52,402 --> 01:09:56,800 Where was the operations room, the headquarters? 694 01:09:57,360 --> 01:10:01,360 About 100 yards away. On top of a very tall building. 695 01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:05,560 How tall? - Tall enough to see everything. 696 01:10:05,960 --> 01:10:09,080 They surely had a better view than I did. 697 01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:38,120 I didn't want to walk around at night, so I drove 698 01:10:38,520 --> 01:10:41,920 to my place in Bahabda. I had an apartment in Beirut. 699 01:10:42,320 --> 01:10:47,080 Micha Friedman was with me. We decided to make dinner. 700 01:10:47,480 --> 01:10:52,000 Micha invited the guys from the regiment of the 211th Brigade. 701 01:10:54,480 --> 01:10:58,680 During the meal, the regiment commander took me aside. 702 01:10:59,480 --> 01:11:02,120 He said: “Ron, 703 01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:07,800 my men say there's a massacre going on in the camps. " 704 01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:11,680 He mentioned one or two incidents, 705 01:11:12,120 --> 01:11:13,840 saying a family was seen shot. 706 01:11:14,840 --> 01:11:17,840 I asked him again, "Did you see it yourself?" 707 01:11:18,480 --> 01:11:21,840 "I didn't", he said, "but my soldiers told me about it. 708 01:11:21,920 --> 01:11:27,840 The officers sitting here did, too. " We talked about it over dinner later. 709 01:11:28,520 --> 01:11:32,760 As soon as they left at 11:30 pm, 710 01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:37,800 I knocked back a whiskey and phoned Defense Minister Arik Sharon. 711 01:11:39,400 --> 01:11:41,400 At his ranch. 712 01:11:41,680 --> 01:11:45,360 Arik was half asleep. 713 01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:51,240 I said, "I've heard there's a massacre going on, Arik. 714 01:11:52,280 --> 01:11:56,760 They are slaughtering Palestinians. We have to put a stop to it. " 715 01:11:57,440 --> 01:12:00,760 He asked me, "Did you see it yourself?" 716 01:12:02,320 --> 01:12:08,240 "No", I said, “but there are several witnesses who saw it. " 717 01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:10,480 "Okay", he said. 718 01:12:11,240 --> 01:12:13,760 "T hanks for bringing it to my attention. “That was all. 719 01:12:14,400 --> 01:12:18,280 You'd normally say, "I'll check it out, I'll look into it. “But no! 720 01:12:18,680 --> 01:12:23,800 He said, “Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Happy New Year!" 721 01:12:24,520 --> 01:12:27,560 Well, something along those lines. Then back to sleep! 722 01:12:27,960 --> 01:12:30,840 It's amazing. A massacre took place, 723 01:12:31,240 --> 01:12:34,600 it was carried out by Christian Phalangists. 724 01:12:36,800 --> 01:12:41,200 All around were several circles of our soldiers 725 01:12:42,640 --> 01:12:44,960 Every circle had some information. 726 01:12:45,360 --> 01:12:48,160 The first one had the most. However, 727 01:12:48,560 --> 01:12:51,080 the penny didn't drop. 728 01:12:51,480 --> 01:12:53,960 They didn't realize they were witnessing a genocide. 729 01:12:54,360 --> 01:12:55,640 What circle were you in? 730 01:12:56,040 --> 01:12:58,480 In the second or third. 731 01:12:58,880 --> 01:13:01,800 What did you do? 732 01:13:03,480 --> 01:13:07,160 We stood on a roof and saw the sky was lit up. 733 01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:11,160 With what? - Flares. 734 01:13:11,560 --> 01:13:15,440 Flares that must have helped them do what they were doing. 735 01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:23,360 Did you fire the flares? 736 01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:25,040 Is that important? 737 01:13:25,440 --> 01:13:28,680 Does it make any difference if I fired them 738 01:13:29,080 --> 01:13:33,040 or if I just saw the flares that helped people shoot others? 739 01:13:34,960 --> 01:13:38,520 In your state of mind at that time, it didn't really make a difference. 740 01:13:38,920 --> 01:13:42,640 You can't remember the massacre because in your opinion, 741 01:13:43,040 --> 01:13:47,320 the murderers and those around them are the same circle. 742 01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:50,520 You felt guilty at the age of 19. 743 01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:53,120 Unwillingly, you took on the role of the Nazi. 744 01:13:53,520 --> 01:13:57,760 You were there firing flares, but you didn't carry out the massacre. 745 01:14:12,680 --> 01:14:17,240 I woke up at 5 or 5:30, and I woke everyone up, 746 01:14:18,160 --> 01:14:20,200 the whole team. 747 01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:23,680 Then I drove to Sabra and Shatila. 748 01:14:24,800 --> 01:14:26,720 When I arrived there... 749 01:14:27,360 --> 01:14:29,400 What a mess! 750 01:14:31,160 --> 01:14:35,120 You know that picture from the Warsaw ghetto? 751 01:14:36,360 --> 01:14:40,120 The one with the kid holding his hands in the air? 752 01:14:42,320 --> 01:14:44,680 That's just how the long line of women, 753 01:14:45,080 --> 01:14:48,080 old people and children looked. 754 01:14:48,480 --> 01:14:51,360 I thought about going to Brigadier Amos's headquarters, 755 01:14:52,520 --> 01:14:56,480 but as I was leaving, Amos suddenly turned up. 756 01:14:56,880 --> 01:14:58,680 He drove to the head of the convoy. 757 01:14:59,080 --> 01:15:03,040 His angry gestures forced them to stop. 758 01:15:03,440 --> 01:15:06,440 And that was the end of it. 759 01:15:35,280 --> 01:15:38,080 The Phalangists withdrew back up the street. 760 01:15:38,480 --> 01:15:42,880 The women and children returned to the camp. 761 01:15:43,280 --> 01:15:45,560 The Palestinians? - Yes. 762 01:15:52,960 --> 01:15:56,960 I said to my men, "We're going in with them... 763 01:15:57,720 --> 01:15:59,480 With those women and children. 764 01:16:01,280 --> 01:16:04,680 We'll see what happened in there. " 765 01:16:05,080 --> 01:16:07,880 Inside the camp we saw a huge amount of rubble. 766 01:16:08,520 --> 01:16:10,200 My eye caught 767 01:16:10,600 --> 01:16:12,600 a hand, a small hand. 768 01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:18,440 A child's hand stuck out from the rubble. 769 01:16:19,320 --> 01:16:23,640 I looked a bit closer and saw curls. 770 01:16:25,040 --> 01:16:30,480 A head of curls covered in dust. It was hard to make out. 771 01:16:30,880 --> 01:16:36,360 But it was a head, exposed up to the nose. 772 01:16:38,360 --> 01:16:39,880 A hand and a head. 773 01:16:40,440 --> 01:16:44,080 My own daughter was the same age as that little girl. 774 01:16:44,480 --> 01:16:48,040 And she had curly hair, too. 775 01:16:53,040 --> 01:16:56,680 The Palestinians in refugee camps have houses with courtyards. 776 01:16:57,080 --> 01:16:59,880 These courtyards were full of bodies of women and children. 777 01:17:00,280 --> 01:17:03,200 The young men had been shot first. 778 01:17:03,720 --> 01:17:06,800 Then the rest of the family was dealt with. 779 01:17:08,280 --> 01:17:11,760 We entered one alley, a very narrow alley... 780 01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:15,000 the width of a man and a half 781 01:17:15,440 --> 01:17:18,440 That alley was full... 782 01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:24,040 Piled up to the height of a man's chest 783 01:17:24,400 --> 01:17:26,400 with the bodies of young men. 784 01:17:26,800 --> 01:17:31,600 That's when I became aware of the results of the massacre.