1
00:01:22,318 --> 00:01:24,619
Calvin, where do you get these?

2
00:01:24,653 --> 00:01:25,737
They're so funny.

3
00:01:25,770 --> 00:01:28,518
Just remember
don't mention the communists.

4
00:01:28,551 --> 00:01:30,469
Calvin's a great guy,
but he's a little-you know.

5
00:01:30,661 --> 00:01:32,579
- Nutty.
- What's his wife like?

6
00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:34,449
You know... housewife.

7
00:01:34,483 --> 00:01:36,224
Likes to cook, pregnant.

8
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:37,533
Normal, then.

9
00:01:37,566 --> 00:01:39,451
I wouldn't go that far.

10
00:01:39,484 --> 00:01:41,786
- Helen!
- Oh, hi, Betty. Hi, Dave.

11
00:01:41,882 --> 00:01:43,800
Just look at you.

12
00:01:43,992 --> 00:01:45,109
Any day now.

13
00:01:45,143 --> 00:01:46,390
Say hi to my sister
Ruth and her husband.

14
00:01:46,485 --> 00:01:48,403
Tell me
if you've heard this one.

15
00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:51,439
A duck walks into a drugstore.

16
00:01:51,472 --> 00:01:53,836
He says,
"I'd like some lip gloss. "

17
00:01:53,870 --> 00:01:56,939
The clerk says, "Certainly, sir.
Will this be cash or check?"

18
00:01:56,972 --> 00:02:00,583
The duck says,
"Put it on my bill. "

19
00:02:02,597 --> 00:02:03,810
Oh, brother.

20
00:02:03,844 --> 00:02:06,242
He was the golden boy
professor at Cal Tech...

21
00:02:07,009 --> 00:02:08,735
but then he started
inventing things.

22
00:02:08,769 --> 00:02:10,653
He suddenly became very rich.

23
00:02:10,941 --> 00:02:13,338
And that was it.
He quit teaching.

24
00:02:14,106 --> 00:02:16,407
- How's that?
- Just what the doctor ordered.

25
00:02:18,325 --> 00:02:20,915
Calvin spends
all of his time out there...

26
00:02:20,948 --> 00:02:23,121
tinkering around
in the workshop.

27
00:02:23,217 --> 00:02:25,614
If you ask me,
it's all very strange.

28
00:02:25,648 --> 00:02:26,765
Same is true of batteries.

29
00:02:26,861 --> 00:02:29,642
I could take
a simple yacht battery...

30
00:02:29,738 --> 00:02:32,327
and rig it
to last a decade, easily.

31
00:02:32,999 --> 00:02:34,917
Say, Helen,
what does Calvin think...

32
00:02:35,013 --> 00:02:36,931
about this trouble down in Cuba?

33
00:02:37,027 --> 00:02:40,383
Oh, for heaven's sakes,
please don't bring that up.

34
00:02:49,111 --> 00:02:52,467
I'd say my baseball card
collection is as complete...

35
00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:54,193
as any one I've ever seen.

36
00:02:56,687 --> 00:02:58,605
Calvin! Kennedy is going
toe-to-toe with Khruschev...

37
00:02:58,701 --> 00:03:00,331
on television right now.

38
00:03:00,365 --> 00:03:01,674
Ooh, boy.

39
00:03:02,825 --> 00:03:04,422
On the island of Cuba.

40
00:03:04,455 --> 00:03:06,853
Unmistakable evidence
has established the fact...

41
00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:10,176
that a series
of offensive missile sites...

42
00:03:10,209 --> 00:03:14,429
is now in preparation
on that imprisoned island.

43
00:03:31,116 --> 00:03:34,761
Tower, this is Wolf One. I got
five miles to the overhead.

44
00:03:34,794 --> 00:03:36,407
Wolf One, Tower.
Report the numbers.

45
00:03:36,441 --> 00:03:38,021
You're number one
for the overhead.

46
00:03:40,995 --> 00:03:43,454
Tower, this is Wolf One.
I got a problem here.

47
00:03:43,488 --> 00:03:46,653
State your problem, Wolf One.
Are you declaring an emergency?

48
00:03:46,686 --> 00:03:48,441
Stand by, One.

49
00:03:48,475 --> 00:03:51,256
Additional sites
appear to be designed...

50
00:03:51,352 --> 00:03:53,908
for intermediate-range
ballistic missiles...

51
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,243
and thus capable of striking
most of the major cities...

52
00:03:56,339 --> 00:03:58,065
in the western hemisphere.

53
00:03:59,216 --> 00:04:00,751
Folks.

54
00:04:00,847 --> 00:04:03,882
Given this extraordinary
turn of events...

55
00:04:03,916 --> 00:04:06,265
I think it's prudent
we cut this evening short.

56
00:04:06,299 --> 00:04:08,615
I'm sure this Cuban thing
will resolve itself...

57
00:04:08,711 --> 00:04:11,300
but in the meantime,
I suggest we take...

58
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,698
a prayerful
watch and wait stance.

59
00:04:15,424 --> 00:04:17,150
OK, folks, let's go.

60
00:04:19,548 --> 00:04:21,178
- My coat.
- Oh, here you go.

61
00:04:21,212 --> 00:04:22,713
I'll call you, then.

62
00:04:26,741 --> 00:04:27,796
What did I tell you?

63
00:04:33,454 --> 00:04:35,660
Well, I'm certainly not gonna
let this pot roast go to waste.

64
00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:37,386
Oh, Calvin, would you
put that seat cushion...

65
00:04:37,482 --> 00:04:38,920
back on the lawn chair, honey?

66
00:04:39,016 --> 00:04:40,934
Shouldn't we at least
turn off the phonograph?

67
00:04:41,126 --> 00:04:42,757
It shuts off automatically.

68
00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:44,387
Oh. Did you make it to do that?

69
00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:45,538
They all do.

70
00:04:46,305 --> 00:04:47,456
I never know anymore.

71
00:04:49,662 --> 00:04:53,114
I bet that's a fighter jet
on its way to Key West.

72
00:04:54,265 --> 00:04:55,382
Good luck, amigo.

73
00:04:55,416 --> 00:04:56,821
An emergency has been declared.

74
00:04:56,854 --> 00:04:59,060
I repeat,
an emergency has been declared.

75
00:04:59,094 --> 00:05:00,211
You hear that?

76
00:05:00,786 --> 00:05:02,321
I'll come back for the radio.

77
00:05:03,664 --> 00:05:06,445
I wish you would have
at least let me do the dishes.

78
00:05:06,478 --> 00:05:07,500
It's not gonna be that easy...

79
00:05:07,596 --> 00:05:09,864
to get all that dried-on food
off my nice plates.

80
00:05:09,897 --> 00:05:12,774
I just hope those plates are not
radioactive by tomorrow.

81
00:05:12,808 --> 00:05:14,980
Cheese
is particularly troublesome.

82
00:05:15,076 --> 00:05:16,994
I've got secondaries
of an engine fire.

83
00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:19,679
I'm gonna need to find
a clear area to eject.

84
00:05:19,713 --> 00:05:22,173
Roger, Wolf One.
Can you make it to the ocean?

85
00:05:24,954 --> 00:05:26,647
Roger that, Tower.

86
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:31,092
I'm marking the one-eight-zero
radio for five...

87
00:05:31,126 --> 00:05:32,914
and ejecting, Tower.

88
00:05:33,010 --> 00:05:34,353
Roger, Wolf One.

89
00:05:47,108 --> 00:05:49,506
How long will we have
to stay down here?

90
00:05:49,539 --> 00:05:51,903
For this thing to blow over
could take days.

91
00:05:51,999 --> 00:05:53,020
Days?

92
00:05:53,054 --> 00:05:54,843
What if I go into labor?

93
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:57,082
That could happen any time now.

94
00:05:57,178 --> 00:05:58,199
I've read up on it.

95
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:01,014
If I have to,
I'll deliver the baby myself.

96
00:06:26,716 --> 00:06:27,963
Home, sweet home.

97
00:06:29,210 --> 00:06:30,361
To you, maybe.

98
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:42,924
Are you all right?

99
00:06:42,957 --> 00:06:44,362
I think so.

100
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,973
It's happened!

101
00:06:50,006 --> 00:06:51,714
Look at that heat!

102
00:06:51,747 --> 00:06:53,665
All my surface indicators...

103
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:56,446
knocked out! Oh, Lord!

104
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:57,981
It's happened!

105
00:07:04,502 --> 00:07:05,845
What was that noise?

106
00:07:08,434 --> 00:07:09,585
- The locks.
- The locks?

107
00:07:14,284 --> 00:07:17,641
To keep us from trying to leave.

108
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:21,381
There's a radiation half-life
after an atomic blast.

109
00:07:21,477 --> 00:07:23,108
It lasts thirty-five years. - Thirty-five years?

110
00:07:26,368 --> 00:07:30,684
Then after that,
it's safe to go up.

111
00:07:33,657 --> 00:07:35,254
According to Cal Tech...

112
00:07:35,287 --> 00:07:38,164
this Webber guy
was a bona fide genius...

113
00:07:38,198 --> 00:07:39,907
but a borderline nut case.

114
00:07:39,941 --> 00:07:41,583
He and Mrs. Nut Case...

115
00:07:41,617 --> 00:07:43,247
must have been out here
when the plane hit.

116
00:07:44,111 --> 00:07:46,892
Unless we get a postcard or
something, that'd be my guess.

117
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:47,947
What about relatives?

118
00:07:48,043 --> 00:07:49,385
They're all back east.

119
00:07:50,248 --> 00:07:53,605
Neighbors said the guy
spent day and night out here.

120
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:57,153
She'd bring him sandwiches
and hot Dr. Pepper.

121
00:07:59,263 --> 00:08:00,414
He drank it hot?

122
00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:04,250
Good God.

123
00:08:21,897 --> 00:08:23,206
Hi, hon.

124
00:08:23,239 --> 00:08:24,294
Feeling better?

125
00:08:25,733 --> 00:08:27,459
We have to be strong.

126
00:08:28,226 --> 00:08:29,761
If not for ourselves...

127
00:08:29,794 --> 00:08:31,199
for the child.

128
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,337
All our friends.

129
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:38,584
Burnt to a crisp.

130
00:08:40,886 --> 00:08:42,003
I'm not hungry.

131
00:08:42,036 --> 00:08:44,242
Hot Dr. Pepper-your favorite.

132
00:08:44,338 --> 00:08:47,119
No, Calvin. Your favorite.

133
00:08:48,558 --> 00:08:49,709
Really?

134
00:08:52,778 --> 00:08:54,696
Chilly? You shouldn't be.

135
00:08:55,655 --> 00:08:57,189
Temperature's
a nice seventy-three degrees.

136
00:08:57,285 --> 00:08:59,203
Maybe I've just got the creeps.

137
00:08:59,395 --> 00:09:01,601
How could you?
This is just like home.

138
00:09:04,478 --> 00:09:05,629
This is different.

139
00:09:05,725 --> 00:09:07,130
Believe me.

140
00:09:07,163 --> 00:09:08,889
Would you like a tranquilizer?

141
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,719
You've got tranquilizers?

142
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,397
I told you I have everything.

143
00:09:16,082 --> 00:09:17,137
What?

144
00:09:18,576 --> 00:09:20,494
Oh, hon.

145
00:09:24,042 --> 00:09:25,097
Just breathe.

146
00:09:25,193 --> 00:09:26,632
I'll get my stuff.

147
00:10:01,253 --> 00:10:02,835
Is there a problem?

148
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,418
No, Calvin. Babies cry.

149
00:10:05,185 --> 00:10:06,336
I've noticed.

150
00:10:06,432 --> 00:10:07,774
What shall we call him?

151
00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:09,692
I don't know.

152
00:10:09,788 --> 00:10:11,706
Well, I was thinking,
in light of the situation...

153
00:10:12,665 --> 00:10:14,550
we should call him Adam.

154
00:10:14,584 --> 00:10:16,597
That's not sacrilegious, is it?

155
00:10:16,631 --> 00:10:18,611
No. I think it's just right.

156
00:10:19,666 --> 00:10:22,927
And I was wondering if... if...

157
00:10:23,982 --> 00:10:26,284
Whatever you want, Helen.

158
00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:27,818
I want a bedroom ceiling.

159
00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:32,613
You got it.

160
00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:49,780
See, I flick this switch...

161
00:10:50,643 --> 00:10:53,712
and the image is projected
onto a mirror...

162
00:10:53,808 --> 00:10:55,726
and the picture
comes out here...

163
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,069
and it's perfect.

164
00:11:06,084 --> 00:11:08,146
Well, almost perfect.

165
00:11:08,179 --> 00:11:10,174
You know something?

166
00:11:10,208 --> 00:11:13,181
People will never get tired
of watching these.

167
00:11:22,675 --> 00:11:25,073
Lord, bless this food...

168
00:11:25,106 --> 00:11:26,320
this family...

169
00:11:26,415 --> 00:11:28,334
and make us ever mindful...

170
00:11:28,525 --> 00:11:30,252
of the needs of others. Amen.

171
00:11:32,745 --> 00:11:34,088
Let's eat.

172
00:11:51,926 --> 00:11:53,412
Out here, hon.

173
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:54,899
Oh, there you are.

174
00:11:56,050 --> 00:11:57,968
Looked all over for you.

175
00:11:59,598 --> 00:12:01,866
What are you doing back here?

176
00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:04,202
I was just examining
this rear hatchway.

177
00:12:04,235 --> 00:12:05,352
Why?

178
00:12:07,366 --> 00:12:09,668
It's pretty clear
that when the bomb went off...

179
00:12:09,702 --> 00:12:11,970
the front entrance caved in,
so, you know...

180
00:12:12,003 --> 00:12:13,600
we'll have to return
to the surface...

181
00:12:13,696 --> 00:12:16,094
using this back entrance,
which is very nice...

182
00:12:16,127 --> 00:12:18,012
because it has
the service elevator.

183
00:12:18,971 --> 00:12:20,889
Unless it's caved in, too.

184
00:12:20,922 --> 00:12:22,711
Well, yes.

185
00:12:22,807 --> 00:12:24,245
You wanted to see me?

186
00:12:24,279 --> 00:12:25,684
Yes. You ready, Adam?

187
00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:27,027
Watch this.

188
00:12:28,465 --> 00:12:30,383
He can stand up all by himself.

189
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:31,870
Show Daddy.

190
00:12:31,903 --> 00:12:33,205
All by himself.

191
00:12:33,238 --> 00:12:34,507
That's my guy.

192
00:12:34,603 --> 00:12:35,898
Stand up.

193
00:12:35,931 --> 00:12:37,192
My son.

194
00:12:38,056 --> 00:12:39,590
Up, Adam...

195
00:12:39,624 --> 00:12:41,124
to the moon.

196
00:12:56,469 --> 00:12:59,634
Hey, boss,
what do you make of this?

197
00:12:59,730 --> 00:13:00,785
Damn if I know.

198
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,127
Bet it's some kind
of septic tank.

199
00:13:02,223 --> 00:13:04,045
I never seen a septic tank
that looked like that.

200
00:13:04,141 --> 00:13:05,163
Well, don't fool with it.

201
00:13:05,196 --> 00:13:07,498
If it is a septic tank, I sure
as hell don't want to open it.

202
00:13:07,594 --> 00:13:09,416
We'll just lay
the foundation over it.

203
00:13:14,115 --> 00:13:18,815
"In won-der-land. "

204
00:13:18,911 --> 00:13:21,500
I'd like to see the public
school system match that.

205
00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:23,384
I don't care how terrific it is.

206
00:13:23,418 --> 00:13:25,624
But, honey, don't you think
he's a little young for school?

207
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,597
People have no idea what
the human mind is capable of.

208
00:13:28,630 --> 00:13:29,714
Look, Daddy.

209
00:13:29,748 --> 00:13:31,474
Alice went down the hole...

210
00:13:31,570 --> 00:13:33,488
just like us.

211
00:13:33,584 --> 00:13:36,077
Will I ever get to go up on top?

212
00:13:36,173 --> 00:13:37,866
Yes. You certainly will.

213
00:13:37,899 --> 00:13:39,784
And you'll find a nice girl...

214
00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:42,277
rebuild America
just the way it used to be.

215
00:13:42,311 --> 00:13:44,996
Oh, Calvin, I'm not sure
we should be making promises...

216
00:13:45,030 --> 00:13:46,243
that perhaps can't be kept.

217
00:13:46,339 --> 00:13:48,032
I'm convinced
there'll be other survivors.

218
00:13:48,065 --> 00:13:51,614
In fact, I'm guessing there's
life on the surface even now.

219
00:13:51,647 --> 00:13:53,148
Not life worth living,
perhaps...

220
00:13:53,182 --> 00:13:55,608
but believe me...

221
00:13:55,642 --> 00:13:57,560
something is moving around
up there.

222
00:14:11,370 --> 00:14:13,672
I'm gonna need two more
banana splits and a Cherry Coke.

223
00:14:13,767 --> 00:14:15,460
You bet, Mom. Comin' up.

224
00:14:15,494 --> 00:14:17,987
Oh, by the way, Mom,
thanks for the job.

225
00:14:18,754 --> 00:14:20,001
Buck fifteen an hour.

226
00:14:23,933 --> 00:14:25,755
Your husband is crazy.

227
00:14:26,714 --> 00:14:29,208
All right. What's the big news?

228
00:14:30,551 --> 00:14:32,181
Oh, you're a riot.

229
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,825
Oh, what a riot you are!

230
00:14:37,648 --> 00:14:38,798
Watch this.

231
00:14:38,832 --> 00:14:39,949
You're funny!

232
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:42,697
You're a real riot.

233
00:14:42,730 --> 00:14:44,648
They're comin' now
to put you on the stage.

234
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,758
There's been complaints
about me on the bus.

235
00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:49,923
He's sending me
to the company psychiatrist.

236
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:51,424
Psychiatrist?

237
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:54,431
Yeah, a psychiatrist,
and that means I'm crazy.

238
00:14:54,464 --> 00:14:56,027
Oh, don't be silly, Ralph.

239
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:59,322
Sending you to a psychiatrist
doesn't mean you're crazy.

240
00:14:59,355 --> 00:15:01,240
Stick it. That's right.

241
00:15:01,432 --> 00:15:02,678
Hook off the jab.

242
00:15:03,733 --> 00:15:04,884
That's right.

243
00:15:06,898 --> 00:15:09,488
Excuse me, boys, but I believe
it's my turn now.

244
00:15:21,859 --> 00:15:24,113
Four, five.

245
00:15:24,146 --> 00:15:25,927
Five, six.

246
00:15:25,961 --> 00:15:27,709
And six, spin.

247
00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:38,801
May I cut in?

248
00:15:38,834 --> 00:15:40,369
You certainly may.

249
00:15:40,464 --> 00:15:41,903
Thank you, son.

250
00:16:17,004 --> 00:16:18,922
I miss those nice
flower-power kids.

251
00:16:19,018 --> 00:16:20,360
How 'bout you?

252
00:16:29,759 --> 00:16:31,965
What the hell
kind of music is that?

253
00:16:33,307 --> 00:16:34,746
Oh, man.

254
00:16:35,609 --> 00:16:37,239
I'm not sure I like that.

255
00:16:59,777 --> 00:17:02,141
These are stock certificates.

256
00:17:02,174 --> 00:17:05,052
Your Mom and I bought them,
for you.

257
00:17:06,107 --> 00:17:07,224
Of course,
they're worthless now...

258
00:17:07,257 --> 00:17:10,039
but at one time
they were quite valuable.

259
00:17:10,902 --> 00:17:13,683
They're pretty.
Could I have them?

260
00:17:13,716 --> 00:17:15,184
Sure.

261
00:17:15,217 --> 00:17:19,341
Now let's move on
to our French exam.

262
00:17:20,013 --> 00:17:22,314
Latin exam, Dad. It's Tuesday.

263
00:17:24,136 --> 00:17:26,630
Gosh, it is Tuesday.

264
00:17:26,726 --> 00:17:28,644
Time flies, doesn't it?

265
00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:30,178
Tempus fugit.

266
00:17:41,687 --> 00:17:45,235
You have a wonderful
sense of humor, son, I must say.

267
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,839
The acorn does not fall
very far from the tree.

268
00:17:54,346 --> 00:17:56,072
Gotcha, I gotcha.

269
00:18:04,032 --> 00:18:05,054
This is wonderful.

270
00:18:05,087 --> 00:18:08,060
That's my baseball card
collection.

271
00:18:08,094 --> 00:18:09,307
It's yours now.

272
00:18:11,129 --> 00:18:12,280
What's baseball?

273
00:18:12,314 --> 00:18:13,397
It's a game, son.

274
00:18:13,431 --> 00:18:16,212
I can explain it pretty easily.

275
00:18:16,308 --> 00:18:18,610
You see, there's a pitcher.

276
00:18:18,643 --> 00:18:19,952
Oh, like a painting?

277
00:18:20,911 --> 00:18:23,405
No. A pit-cher.

278
00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:24,748
Like one of Mom's?

279
00:18:25,611 --> 00:18:27,529
No. There's a man
who throws the ball...

280
00:18:27,817 --> 00:18:29,639
to a man who has a bat.

281
00:18:29,735 --> 00:18:31,557
Oh, the nocturnal flying mammal.

282
00:18:56,204 --> 00:18:57,417
I'm sellin' this place.

283
00:18:57,451 --> 00:18:59,657
I want out of this hellhole.

284
00:19:03,013 --> 00:19:04,739
Could I, uh...

285
00:19:04,835 --> 00:19:08,096
If you sell, uh...

286
00:19:08,192 --> 00:19:10,110
Me, could I, uh...

287
00:19:10,302 --> 00:19:11,740
Buy it from me?

288
00:19:11,836 --> 00:19:13,275
Yeah! Yeah, that's it!

289
00:19:13,371 --> 00:19:16,152
I'll give it to you.
No money down.

290
00:19:16,248 --> 00:19:17,303
Cool!

291
00:19:18,070 --> 00:19:20,851
This neighborhood's
gone to hell anyway.

292
00:19:21,906 --> 00:19:22,928
At last...

293
00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:25,742
I am master of all I survey!

294
00:19:29,579 --> 00:19:30,633
No, no. Listen...

295
00:19:31,497 --> 00:19:33,990
I'm only gonna explain
this one more time.

296
00:19:34,024 --> 00:19:36,675
The runner on second
goes to third.

297
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,593
It's-He's out there.

298
00:19:38,627 --> 00:19:39,711
Why?

299
00:19:39,744 --> 00:19:43,868
Because he's forced out.
It's-it's a force.

300
00:19:43,902 --> 00:19:45,946
Then why go there?

301
00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:47,992
Because... he must.

302
00:19:49,527 --> 00:19:50,677
Coming.

303
00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:54,959
Yes, dear?

304
00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:56,911
You get the presents,
I'll get the lights.

305
00:19:57,103 --> 00:19:58,350
You bet.

306
00:19:59,884 --> 00:20:04,392
Happy birthday to you

307
00:20:04,425 --> 00:20:08,036
And many more

308
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:12,702
Thanks, Mom. Thank you, Dad.

309
00:20:12,735 --> 00:20:14,653
- Blow out the candles.
- Make a wish.

310
00:20:21,462 --> 00:20:22,517
Here.

311
00:20:31,436 --> 00:20:34,280
Oh, boy! A jacket!

312
00:20:34,314 --> 00:20:36,232
Your mom made that
all by herself.

313
00:20:36,423 --> 00:20:37,670
No kidding?

314
00:20:39,109 --> 00:20:40,931
Who else could have done it?

315
00:20:41,027 --> 00:20:42,561
I made these.

316
00:20:50,905 --> 00:20:53,077
Holy cow.

317
00:20:53,111 --> 00:20:55,029
What the heck are these?

318
00:20:55,125 --> 00:20:56,659
It's your roller skates. Yup.

319
00:20:56,693 --> 00:20:58,352
I redesigned them.

320
00:20:58,385 --> 00:21:01,263
These are really swell.
I mean swell.

321
00:21:01,358 --> 00:21:03,181
What did you wish for, son?

322
00:21:03,277 --> 00:21:04,331
If he tells,
it won't come true.

323
00:21:04,427 --> 00:21:07,304
Oh, that's a bunch of baloney.
My family never believed that.

324
00:21:07,338 --> 00:21:09,956
Well, we did in my family.

325
00:21:09,990 --> 00:21:11,908
I wished that I could
meet a girl.

326
00:21:13,442 --> 00:21:15,360
I hope a nice one?

327
00:21:15,394 --> 00:21:16,669
Yes, ma'am.

328
00:21:16,703 --> 00:21:18,525
One that doesn't
glow in the dark, I hope.

329
00:21:18,621 --> 00:21:21,115
Calvin Webber,
what a thing to say.

330
00:21:21,211 --> 00:21:23,129
Well, we'll be going up
in two years.

331
00:21:23,162 --> 00:21:24,471
We'll know then.

332
00:21:24,567 --> 00:21:25,718
I'm very hopeful.

333
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:28,116
Me, too.

334
00:21:28,149 --> 00:21:29,329
Elbows, son.

335
00:21:29,362 --> 00:21:32,048
I'm sorry, Mom. What the heck
am I thinking tonight?

336
00:21:32,081 --> 00:21:33,966
You never know.
You might someday dine...

337
00:21:34,158 --> 00:21:35,596
at the White House
with the President.

338
00:21:35,630 --> 00:21:37,035
If we still have one.

339
00:21:38,953 --> 00:21:40,727
You know, when we do go up...

340
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,501
I'm gonna miss this place.

341
00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:46,721
How about you, hon?

342
00:21:52,475 --> 00:21:54,393
Would you please excuse me?

343
00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:57,079
No, no, don't-don't get up.

344
00:22:56,827 --> 00:22:58,457
Should we say a prayer first?

345
00:22:58,490 --> 00:22:59,991
Just open the door.

346
00:23:14,761 --> 00:23:16,103
Long time.

347
00:23:19,460 --> 00:23:22,049
Well, it's dirty, but...

348
00:23:25,694 --> 00:23:27,228
it seems to be OK.

349
00:23:30,968 --> 00:23:32,886
I know you're happy.

350
00:23:35,859 --> 00:23:37,777
Do we just go on up?

351
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:40,333
No, son.

352
00:23:40,367 --> 00:23:43,628
Now is the time we must
be at our most cautious.

353
00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:44,778
We wait for night.

354
00:23:44,874 --> 00:23:46,217
Oh, shit!

355
00:23:47,464 --> 00:23:48,965
Helen Thomas Webber...

356
00:23:48,998 --> 00:23:52,163
maybe we have been down here
a little too long.

357
00:23:53,506 --> 00:23:54,848
Pardon her French, son.

358
00:23:54,944 --> 00:23:56,862
"Shit" is French?

359
00:23:58,109 --> 00:23:59,706
Well, it's archaic French.

360
00:23:59,739 --> 00:24:02,617
It's a 16th century
colloquialism...

361
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:04,343
meaning roughly "Good. "

362
00:24:04,439 --> 00:24:06,357
Your father's right.

363
00:24:06,390 --> 00:24:09,330
Well... shit!

364
00:24:23,907 --> 00:24:26,305
All of these things...

365
00:24:26,401 --> 00:24:28,175
Alcoholics Anonymous...

366
00:24:28,208 --> 00:24:29,949
Cocaine Anonymous...

367
00:24:30,141 --> 00:24:31,771
Heroin Anonymous-

368
00:24:31,867 --> 00:24:34,409
There's a Heroin Anonymous?

369
00:24:34,442 --> 00:24:36,950
Will you please...
shut up!

370
00:24:36,984 --> 00:24:38,259
Sorry. Sorry.

371
00:24:38,293 --> 00:24:42,800
All of these things ask you
to believe in a power...

372
00:24:42,834 --> 00:24:44,718
greater than yourself.

373
00:24:44,814 --> 00:24:49,130
Well, I have lifted my eyes
skyward a time or two...

374
00:24:49,163 --> 00:24:51,048
and I certainly have
not seen anything...

375
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,405
coming from up there
except a goddamn airplane...

376
00:24:55,172 --> 00:24:57,090
which I can't afford to get on.

377
00:24:59,871 --> 00:25:02,269
Earthquake! Another earthquake!

378
00:25:02,844 --> 00:25:05,529
Let her come. Let her come.
Let's get this over with!

379
00:25:15,024 --> 00:25:16,462
Oh, God.

380
00:25:21,833 --> 00:25:23,622
Oh, my God.

381
00:25:23,655 --> 00:25:25,573
Oh, God, save me.

382
00:25:28,163 --> 00:25:30,656
For I have seen the light!

383
00:25:40,055 --> 00:25:41,301
I come...

384
00:25:42,548 --> 00:25:43,987
in peace.

385
00:26:00,674 --> 00:26:03,935
Leave my elevator alone.

386
00:26:24,170 --> 00:26:27,239
What happened to my backyard?

387
00:27:03,779 --> 00:27:05,313
Got a light, honey?

388
00:27:06,272 --> 00:27:08,094
A light? Yes.

389
00:27:08,190 --> 00:27:09,629
I do have a light.

390
00:27:12,410 --> 00:27:13,849
Good. Thank you.

391
00:27:15,191 --> 00:27:17,972
So... you survived the blast.

392
00:27:18,006 --> 00:27:19,665
The blast?

393
00:27:19,699 --> 00:27:21,905
Honey, I've survived
a host of things.

394
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,494
Like the song says,
the country boy can survive.

395
00:27:24,590 --> 00:27:26,412
Did you say
you were a country boy?

396
00:27:26,508 --> 00:27:28,138
Cute little old man...

397
00:27:28,234 --> 00:27:30,152
if you want a boy,
I can be a boy...

398
00:27:30,344 --> 00:27:31,926
and if you want a girl,
I can be a girl.

399
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,509
Hell, I can be
whatever you want me to be.

400
00:27:33,605 --> 00:27:34,626
Really?

401
00:27:34,660 --> 00:27:36,065
Uh-huh, and it's all yours...

402
00:27:36,098 --> 00:27:38,016
for the remarkably low price
of two hundred dollars.

403
00:27:38,112 --> 00:27:39,551
And if you act now...

404
00:27:39,647 --> 00:27:43,387
I may even throw in
some free lawn furniture.

405
00:27:43,483 --> 00:27:45,655
No. Thanks.

406
00:27:45,689 --> 00:27:47,607
Thank you. I have to go.

407
00:27:47,799 --> 00:27:48,853
Go on.

408
00:27:51,347 --> 00:27:53,265
Get out of here, you old drunk!

409
00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:00,650
Surprise!

410
00:28:12,829 --> 00:28:14,522
I'm gonna give it to you
straight.

411
00:28:14,556 --> 00:28:16,474
There's no point
beating around the bush.

412
00:28:16,666 --> 00:28:17,816
There were survivors.

413
00:28:18,392 --> 00:28:23,091
Apparently the fallout has
created a subspecies-mutants.

414
00:28:26,064 --> 00:28:27,181
Not a pretty sight.

415
00:28:27,215 --> 00:28:29,133
Some eat out of garbage cans.

416
00:28:29,325 --> 00:28:32,106
Others-cover your ears,
son, and hum.

417
00:28:32,202 --> 00:28:34,695
I mean that literally.
Right now.

418
00:28:36,422 --> 00:28:39,347
Others... are multi-sexual.

419
00:28:39,380 --> 00:28:42,238
It seems they can be both...

420
00:28:42,272 --> 00:28:45,053
masculine and feminine
simultaneously.

421
00:28:46,012 --> 00:28:47,738
- I don't believe it!
- Believe it.

422
00:28:47,834 --> 00:28:49,752
He tried to sell me his body,
Helen.

423
00:28:50,807 --> 00:28:52,725
They offer lawn furniture
as a come-on.

424
00:28:56,753 --> 00:28:57,967
All right.

425
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,110
They have done
a lot of rebuilding...

426
00:29:00,144 --> 00:29:02,186
though society,
at least as we know it...

427
00:29:02,220 --> 00:29:05,001
has totally collapsed.
People throw up in the streets.

428
00:29:05,035 --> 00:29:06,248
Others point guns.

429
00:29:06,344 --> 00:29:08,933
There's something terribly wrong
with the automobiles...

430
00:29:08,967 --> 00:29:10,724
and I can't tell you the rest.

431
00:29:10,757 --> 00:29:12,482
I just can't. Maybe someday.

432
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,126
- What do we do now?
- We stay down here!

433
00:29:16,159 --> 00:29:17,437
- We do?
- Yes!

434
00:29:17,470 --> 00:29:18,715
We'll make do.

435
00:29:18,811 --> 00:29:20,729
We have clothes,
running water from a well.

436
00:29:20,825 --> 00:29:23,127
I am convinced these mutants
will kill each other off-

437
00:29:23,223 --> 00:29:25,587
No, Calvin, we won't make do!

438
00:29:25,620 --> 00:29:28,497
Not me, not Adam!
We're going up!

439
00:29:28,593 --> 00:29:30,799
I don't care how horrible it is!
We deserve it!

440
00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:32,142
I am the head of this household!

441
00:29:32,238 --> 00:29:34,156
I want him to see the sky!

442
00:29:34,252 --> 00:29:35,307
We will!

443
00:29:35,403 --> 00:29:36,937
The ocean! A mountain!

444
00:29:37,033 --> 00:29:38,471
Do as I say!

445
00:29:49,309 --> 00:29:51,035
Oh, Adam! Oh, my goodness!

446
00:29:51,131 --> 00:29:52,282
Let's get him to the bedroom!

447
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:55,638
He seems to be doing
all right now.

448
00:29:56,597 --> 00:29:58,324
I don't know
if he had a heart attack...

449
00:29:58,357 --> 00:30:00,625
or just
a horrifying experience...

450
00:30:00,721 --> 00:30:04,174
but we need supplies,
and I've got to stay with him.

451
00:30:04,270 --> 00:30:05,325
I'll go up.

452
00:30:06,284 --> 00:30:07,722
I'm afraid you must.

453
00:30:07,818 --> 00:30:09,352
I'll be all right.

454
00:30:09,448 --> 00:30:11,366
My brave boy.

455
00:30:13,764 --> 00:30:15,361
Just act normal.

456
00:30:15,394 --> 00:30:17,758
If anyone asks, simply say...

457
00:30:17,792 --> 00:30:20,573
"I'm from out of town.
I'm here on business. "

458
00:30:20,607 --> 00:30:21,724
Write that down.

459
00:30:22,971 --> 00:30:25,368
Now, I'm going to give you
a shopping list and some money.

460
00:30:25,402 --> 00:30:27,766
We'll need just enough to get
through the next year or two.

461
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,171
You'll find most
of these items...

462
00:30:29,205 --> 00:30:31,602
at what used to be called
a grocery store...

463
00:30:31,636 --> 00:30:33,870
or a hardware store.
Write that down.

464
00:30:33,904 --> 00:30:36,397
I don't know how far you'll have
to travel to find supplies...

465
00:30:36,493 --> 00:30:38,220
but if you can't get home
by nightfall...

466
00:30:38,315 --> 00:30:40,905
I want you to look for something
called a Holiday Inn.

467
00:30:40,938 --> 00:30:42,631
It's a hotel. Write that down.

468
00:30:42,727 --> 00:30:44,645
There might still be one
left standing.

469
00:30:47,522 --> 00:30:49,057
Well, let's get you packed.

470
00:30:49,090 --> 00:30:50,591
Right.

471
00:30:50,687 --> 00:30:52,605
Just hope
this is still good up there.

472
00:30:52,797 --> 00:30:54,523
- Say, Mom?
- Yes, dear?

473
00:30:54,619 --> 00:30:56,312
I was wondering...

474
00:30:56,345 --> 00:30:58,072
while I was up there and all...

475
00:30:58,168 --> 00:31:00,469
I was thinking,
well, you know...

476
00:31:00,565 --> 00:31:02,100
I was wondering
if maybe I could...

477
00:31:03,442 --> 00:31:04,593
meet a girl.

478
00:31:05,552 --> 00:31:07,566
I've been thinking about that
a little.

479
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,580
Just these last fifteen years
or so.

480
00:31:09,676 --> 00:31:13,320
Adam, it would be wonderful
if you could meet a girl...

481
00:31:13,354 --> 00:31:14,951
one who's not a mutant...

482
00:31:15,047 --> 00:31:16,581
and hopefully
comes from Pasadena.

483
00:31:16,677 --> 00:31:19,938
Nothing against valley girls,
but in my day anyhow...

484
00:31:19,971 --> 00:31:23,165
girls from Pasadena always
seemed a little bit nicer.

485
00:31:23,198 --> 00:31:26,939
Oh, and, son, there's also
something called a liquor store.

486
00:31:26,972 --> 00:31:28,089
Write that down.

487
00:31:29,336 --> 00:31:30,391
"Liquor store. "

488
00:32:04,437 --> 00:32:05,876
Yes, father?

489
00:32:05,971 --> 00:32:07,089
Don't forget.

490
00:32:07,122 --> 00:32:11,917
Stay out
of the adult book store.

491
00:32:14,411 --> 00:32:15,562
Why?

492
00:32:16,617 --> 00:32:18,439
Poison gas.

493
00:32:18,535 --> 00:32:20,453
Invisible.

494
00:32:21,987 --> 00:32:23,776
Don't forget.

495
00:32:23,810 --> 00:32:26,591
I promise. Is that all?

496
00:32:32,345 --> 00:32:33,592
One more thing.

497
00:32:36,277 --> 00:32:40,017
If you find
a healthy young woman...

498
00:32:42,319 --> 00:32:44,237
bring her on down.

499
00:32:45,676 --> 00:32:46,922
Yes, sir.

500
00:33:08,597 --> 00:33:10,035
Are you all right?

501
00:33:12,145 --> 00:33:13,742
O Lord, yes.

502
00:33:13,775 --> 00:33:15,598
Are you the one
who came last night...

503
00:33:15,693 --> 00:33:17,324
all in yellow?

504
00:33:19,530 --> 00:33:21,831
Oh, that was my father.

505
00:33:21,865 --> 00:33:24,133
Oh! Of course. The father.

506
00:33:25,092 --> 00:33:26,401
Forgive me.

507
00:33:26,435 --> 00:33:29,312
Can you forgive me
for my wasted life?

508
00:33:29,345 --> 00:33:31,230
Everything has been so awful.

509
00:33:31,326 --> 00:33:34,203
I know. It has been terrible...

510
00:33:34,299 --> 00:33:36,696
but it's not your fault.

511
00:33:36,792 --> 00:33:38,327
And now that
all the decay is over with...

512
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:39,957
things are going to get better.

513
00:33:39,991 --> 00:33:41,396
You understand?

514
00:33:46,191 --> 00:33:47,534
Well, I have to go now.

515
00:33:47,629 --> 00:33:49,548
Of course! Of course you do.

516
00:33:49,643 --> 00:33:51,178
I'll stay here and pray.

517
00:33:51,274 --> 00:33:53,192
Say, that's always a good idea.

518
00:33:55,110 --> 00:33:56,740
How do I leave this place?

519
00:33:57,508 --> 00:33:58,946
The front door is open.

520
00:34:00,193 --> 00:34:02,111
Will you be back?

521
00:34:03,070 --> 00:34:04,221
I promise.

522
00:34:40,568 --> 00:34:42,007
What?

523
00:34:42,103 --> 00:34:43,158
What is it?

524
00:34:44,021 --> 00:34:45,172
The sky.

525
00:34:46,035 --> 00:34:47,857
The sky? Where?

526
00:34:47,891 --> 00:34:49,008
Up there.

527
00:34:49,967 --> 00:34:51,214
I don't see anything.

528
00:34:51,247 --> 00:34:52,429
Just look!

529
00:34:52,462 --> 00:34:53,611
What is it?

530
00:34:54,666 --> 00:34:56,584
He says he sees something.

531
00:35:00,804 --> 00:35:02,305
What is it?

532
00:35:02,338 --> 00:35:03,743
I see it, Mommy!

533
00:35:03,777 --> 00:35:07,134
I have never in my life
seen anything like it before.

534
00:35:07,901 --> 00:35:09,052
Or like you.

535
00:35:16,532 --> 00:35:18,738
What are you lookin' at?

536
00:35:18,772 --> 00:35:20,944
Oh, my lucky stars, a Negro.

537
00:35:20,977 --> 00:35:22,061
Say what?

538
00:35:22,095 --> 00:35:23,437
How do you do, ma'am?

539
00:35:23,533 --> 00:35:25,068
I do all right.

540
00:35:26,218 --> 00:35:27,273
Good.

541
00:35:30,534 --> 00:35:32,260
What is it?

542
00:35:32,356 --> 00:35:33,378
What do you see?

543
00:35:33,411 --> 00:35:34,946
We were just looking at the-

544
00:35:35,809 --> 00:35:37,343
- Oh, no!
- What?

545
00:35:37,439 --> 00:35:39,357
Poisonous gas!
Run for your life!

546
00:35:39,453 --> 00:35:43,002
Run! Run for your life!
Invisible poisonous gas!

547
00:35:47,893 --> 00:35:49,044
You know-

548
00:35:51,921 --> 00:35:53,072
I just want to say...

549
00:35:54,510 --> 00:35:55,853
I think he's going to be fine.

550
00:35:57,387 --> 00:35:59,209
Thank you, Calvin.

551
00:35:59,305 --> 00:36:00,648
Thank you very much.

552
00:36:00,682 --> 00:36:02,053
He's smart.

553
00:36:02,087 --> 00:36:03,429
Yes, dear, I know...

554
00:36:04,772 --> 00:36:06,498
but he's still such a baby.

555
00:36:07,553 --> 00:36:09,246
He's a man.

556
00:36:09,279 --> 00:36:11,965
Oh, he's a baby man.

557
00:36:12,828 --> 00:36:15,321
I tried to give
the driver this...

558
00:36:15,355 --> 00:36:16,760
but he wouldn't take it.

559
00:36:18,486 --> 00:36:19,733
He seems kind of angry.

560
00:36:20,788 --> 00:36:22,802
A lot of people do.

561
00:36:22,835 --> 00:36:24,816
Oh, boy. Here we go.

562
00:36:25,583 --> 00:36:28,076
Hold on, everyone! Hold on!

563
00:36:28,172 --> 00:36:29,419
Wow!

564
00:36:30,570 --> 00:36:32,488
So this is
public transportation.

565
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,598
My father says it becomes
more and more important...

566
00:36:34,631 --> 00:36:36,770
because of pollution,
which is more and more...

567
00:36:36,804 --> 00:36:38,722
carbon dioxide and other
hazardous gases in the air.

568
00:36:41,311 --> 00:36:43,037
Do you have a gun, by the way?

569
00:36:46,010 --> 00:36:48,983
Oh. Well, thank you
for not waving it around.

570
00:36:49,079 --> 00:36:50,710
And for not vomiting,
for that matter.

571
00:36:51,861 --> 00:36:54,258
Say, do you know where
I could find a grocery store?

572
00:36:55,505 --> 00:36:57,902
I have to find that.
That and a hardware store...

573
00:36:57,936 --> 00:36:59,821
a liquor store,
and a standing Holiday Inn.

574
00:37:00,108 --> 00:37:03,657
There's a grocery store
up the street.

575
00:37:03,753 --> 00:37:04,808
- Where?
- Up there!

576
00:37:04,903 --> 00:37:07,397
Oh. Thank you. Driver,
please stop the bus immediately!

577
00:37:07,431 --> 00:37:08,644
I wish to get off!

578
00:37:09,219 --> 00:37:10,945
Please stop the bus, sir!

579
00:37:15,549 --> 00:37:18,042
- Paper or plastic?
- Paper, please.

580
00:37:18,138 --> 00:37:19,193
Do you have a club card?

581
00:37:22,454 --> 00:37:24,180
I need a price check
on register four...

582
00:37:24,214 --> 00:37:26,482
Diet Dr. Pepper, six-pack.

583
00:37:34,538 --> 00:37:35,847
Don't talk to strangers.

584
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:39,333
Manager to the front for
check approval, register one.

585
00:37:39,366 --> 00:37:40,450
Can I help you?

586
00:37:40,484 --> 00:37:43,840
Oh, yes. I'd like to get
some all-beef patties.

587
00:37:43,874 --> 00:37:44,991
Fresh or frozen?

588
00:37:45,854 --> 00:37:47,772
Come on. Frozen.

589
00:37:48,060 --> 00:37:49,211
How much are they?

590
00:37:50,266 --> 00:37:53,047
Frozen? Six-thirty a dozen
in a three-pound box.

591
00:37:53,081 --> 00:37:54,965
Twelve into nine hundred
is seventy-five.

592
00:37:55,157 --> 00:37:57,842
That's almost five hundred
dollars just for the hamburger.

593
00:37:58,801 --> 00:38:01,295
My mother only gave me three
thousand dollars for everything.

594
00:38:01,328 --> 00:38:03,213
The yacht batteries,
the pipe tobacco...

595
00:38:03,247 --> 00:38:05,097
the diesel oil, the bleach...

596
00:38:05,131 --> 00:38:06,536
the floss,
the birthday candles-

597
00:38:06,570 --> 00:38:08,967
You could get a meat order
that big delivered to your home.

598
00:38:09,063 --> 00:38:10,310
Really?

599
00:38:10,343 --> 00:38:11,523
Sure.

600
00:38:11,557 --> 00:38:13,475
Oh, that's terrific.

601
00:38:15,201 --> 00:38:18,270
Except it just occurred to me
that I don't know where home is.

602
00:38:19,804 --> 00:38:21,593
I'm lost.

603
00:38:21,626 --> 00:38:22,777
Do you know where I live?

604
00:38:23,832 --> 00:38:25,079
Will you please excuse me?

605
00:38:25,113 --> 00:38:26,326
Gladly.

606
00:38:27,093 --> 00:38:28,244
Thank you.

607
00:38:51,932 --> 00:38:53,850
Driver, please stop the bus!

608
00:39:24,827 --> 00:39:26,170
The name's Adam Webber...

609
00:39:26,266 --> 00:39:28,630
and I see that you buy
baseball cards.

610
00:39:28,663 --> 00:39:30,485
Although these are a lot older
than the ones in the window...

611
00:39:30,581 --> 00:39:32,499
I was hoping that you still
might be interested.

612
00:39:35,376 --> 00:39:37,295
How much you want for this
Mickey Mantle rookie season?

613
00:39:37,390 --> 00:39:40,363
Well, I was hoping
to sell all of the cards.

614
00:39:40,459 --> 00:39:42,632
Really? No kidding?

615
00:39:42,665 --> 00:39:44,104
All I have
are hundred-dollar bills...

616
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,638
and I need something smaller.

617
00:39:45,672 --> 00:39:47,235
Ones, tens, fives.

618
00:39:47,269 --> 00:39:49,633
I see what you mean.
Tell you what.

619
00:39:49,666 --> 00:39:53,023
How about I give you
five hundred in small bills...

620
00:39:53,056 --> 00:39:54,269
for the whole box?

621
00:39:55,804 --> 00:39:57,051
That would be wonderful.

622
00:39:57,084 --> 00:39:58,489
Aw, shit.

623
00:40:00,311 --> 00:40:02,805
I'm working here, Evie-poo.
Don't screw me up.

624
00:40:02,838 --> 00:40:05,298
Yeah, I can see you're working,
all right.

625
00:40:07,696 --> 00:40:08,751
Bon soir, mademoiselle.

626
00:40:08,847 --> 00:40:10,285
Oh, you're French?

627
00:40:12,299 --> 00:40:13,834
I'm from out of town.

628
00:40:13,930 --> 00:40:14,985
I'm here on business.

629
00:40:15,081 --> 00:40:16,999
Well, your business must not be
sports memorabilia...

630
00:40:17,190 --> 00:40:19,109
because this one
Mantle card right here-

631
00:40:19,204 --> 00:40:22,561
worth six thousand dollars
all by its itty-bitty self.

632
00:40:22,595 --> 00:40:24,062
Get out of here!

633
00:40:24,096 --> 00:40:26,157
No, you get out of here.

634
00:40:26,191 --> 00:40:28,186
Terrific. You're fired.

635
00:40:28,219 --> 00:40:30,775
- I quit.
- No, no, no. I fired you.

636
00:40:30,809 --> 00:40:33,398
Just like the hair salon guy
and the Chevy dealer.

637
00:40:33,494 --> 00:40:36,131
You know why you can't keep
a goddamn job?

638
00:40:36,165 --> 00:40:38,769
'Cause you can't keep
your goddamn mouth shut!

639
00:40:38,865 --> 00:40:41,166
Excuse me, sir,
but I'd really appreciate it...

640
00:40:41,262 --> 00:40:43,468
if you wouldn't take
the Lord's name in vain again.

641
00:40:43,564 --> 00:40:45,482
You got a problem with that,
partner?

642
00:40:45,674 --> 00:40:49,031
Yes.
I have a big problem with that.

643
00:40:49,990 --> 00:40:52,675
Come on, Heathcliff.
I'll walk you out.

644
00:40:53,826 --> 00:40:55,744
Yes, ma'am, but my name's Adam.

645
00:40:57,278 --> 00:40:59,642
Adam and Eve, the perfect match.

646
00:40:59,676 --> 00:41:01,882
I hope the two of you
will be very happy together.

647
00:41:01,915 --> 00:41:03,478
Mazel-fucking-tov.

648
00:41:03,512 --> 00:41:05,334
And don't come back, neither,
miss big shot.

649
00:41:05,430 --> 00:41:06,485
I'm serious this time.

650
00:41:06,581 --> 00:41:08,115
You're finished
in the hobby business.

651
00:41:08,149 --> 00:41:09,233
Where are we going?

652
00:41:09,266 --> 00:41:11,568
We? I'm going home.
Judging by that coat...

653
00:41:11,601 --> 00:41:13,870
you have to get back
to the barber college.

654
00:41:13,903 --> 00:41:15,404
No. I'm lost.

655
00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:17,418
You're lost?

656
00:41:17,610 --> 00:41:19,528
Did you just lose your job
back there because of me?

657
00:41:20,679 --> 00:41:23,076
Forget it. I'm sick of working
for that dickhead.

658
00:41:23,110 --> 00:41:24,131
Dickhead?

659
00:41:24,227 --> 00:41:27,200
A walking penis
capable of intelligent speech.

660
00:41:27,234 --> 00:41:28,639
A dickhead.

661
00:41:29,406 --> 00:41:31,036
What is wrong with you?

662
00:41:31,132 --> 00:41:32,667
I just had
this mental picture-

663
00:41:32,763 --> 00:41:33,913
Help me pick these up.

664
00:41:34,968 --> 00:41:36,887
Oh, thank you.

665
00:41:38,325 --> 00:41:39,764
Where are you parked?

666
00:41:39,797 --> 00:41:41,456
I came on a bus.

667
00:41:41,490 --> 00:41:43,024
Why does that not surprise me?

668
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:44,942
Don't know.
Why doesn't it surprise you?

669
00:41:45,038 --> 00:41:47,724
Well, I guess because
I'm a little psychic.

670
00:41:47,820 --> 00:41:48,970
I have this thing.

671
00:41:49,066 --> 00:41:50,697
Oh, that's nice.

672
00:41:50,730 --> 00:41:52,293
Yeah. Let me guess.

673
00:41:52,327 --> 00:41:54,533
This is your first visit
to la-la land.

674
00:41:54,629 --> 00:41:56,787
You're staying in Hollywood,
because like an idiot...

675
00:41:56,820 --> 00:41:58,944
you thought that would be
an exciting place to stay.

676
00:41:58,978 --> 00:42:00,862
- Am I right so far?
- So far.

677
00:42:00,896 --> 00:42:02,781
- Yes, I'm right?
- Right.

678
00:42:02,814 --> 00:42:04,027
I knew it.

679
00:42:04,123 --> 00:42:05,849
So you get on a bus
and before you know it...

680
00:42:05,945 --> 00:42:07,863
you're stuck in the San Fernando
Valley without a clue...

681
00:42:08,055 --> 00:42:09,590
which brings us to here.
Correct again?

682
00:42:09,623 --> 00:42:10,707
Again.

683
00:42:10,741 --> 00:42:12,563
Where are you staying?

684
00:42:13,714 --> 00:42:14,864
The Holiday Inn.

685
00:42:17,262 --> 00:42:18,509
That's exactly right.

686
00:42:18,605 --> 00:42:21,386
See? I'm psychic.
Not completely, but pretty much.

687
00:42:21,419 --> 00:42:22,729
Pretty good, huh?

688
00:42:22,824 --> 00:42:25,510
No, it was amazing.

689
00:42:25,606 --> 00:42:28,770
I know. Thanks. I'm gonna
predict a bus for you.

690
00:42:28,866 --> 00:42:30,784
- You go down here-
- Do you own a car?

691
00:42:30,976 --> 00:42:32,031
Oh, no, sweetie.

692
00:42:32,127 --> 00:42:33,757
Rule number one
in North America.

693
00:42:33,853 --> 00:42:35,546
No strangers in the car.

694
00:42:35,580 --> 00:42:37,018
If it'll make you feel
any better...

695
00:42:37,052 --> 00:42:38,457
I don't have a gun.

696
00:42:39,032 --> 00:42:41,430
Oh. Well,
that changes everything.

697
00:42:41,463 --> 00:42:42,676
Get away from me!

698
00:42:44,019 --> 00:42:46,417
I said something wrong.
Please forgive me.

699
00:42:46,450 --> 00:42:48,814
- Get away from me!
- I'll make you a deal!

700
00:42:48,910 --> 00:42:51,883
I will give you a Rogers Hornsby
if you take me to the hotel!

701
00:42:54,281 --> 00:42:55,623
Rogers Hornsby?

702
00:42:56,199 --> 00:42:58,117
He's yours.
I was holding him back.

703
00:42:58,405 --> 00:43:01,186
Rogers Hornsby's worth
four thousand dollars.

704
00:43:01,219 --> 00:43:02,879
So what? I got two of them!

705
00:43:02,912 --> 00:43:05,981
And this many
Larry "Yogi" Berras...

706
00:43:06,015 --> 00:43:07,707
and...

707
00:43:07,803 --> 00:43:10,009
For four thousand dollars,
all I have to do...

708
00:43:10,105 --> 00:43:11,160
is drive you to your hotel?

709
00:43:11,256 --> 00:43:12,853
- Uh-huh.
- That's it?

710
00:43:12,886 --> 00:43:14,804
I don't have to take
a physical on your spaceship?

711
00:43:14,996 --> 00:43:16,051
No, ma'am.

712
00:43:16,147 --> 00:43:17,681
What?

713
00:43:24,778 --> 00:43:27,272
So, Mr. Andretti,
first time on the freeway?

714
00:43:27,368 --> 00:43:29,573
It's Webber. Adam Webber.

715
00:43:29,669 --> 00:43:32,451
Mind if I change the station?
Better traffic reports on A.M.

716
00:43:32,484 --> 00:43:34,369
Sure. Wait!

717
00:43:34,656 --> 00:43:36,445
What? What is it?

718
00:43:36,478 --> 00:43:38,301
Go back. You had him.
It's Perry.

719
00:43:40,219 --> 00:43:41,624
Perry Como.

720
00:43:41,657 --> 00:43:43,575
You had him. Go back.

721
00:43:45,110 --> 00:43:46,261
OK. Just-

722
00:43:47,220 --> 00:43:49,138
- That's it.
- There.

723
00:43:52,878 --> 00:43:56,043
I could die right now.

724
00:43:56,076 --> 00:43:57,290
Over this?

725
00:44:03,044 --> 00:44:04,195
Listen to this part.

726
00:44:05,154 --> 00:44:06,784
This is where it really
takes off.

727
00:44:06,818 --> 00:44:08,702
Wait for it. There!

728
00:44:11,579 --> 00:44:14,456
You are one scary
son of a gun.

729
00:44:27,979 --> 00:44:29,288
You better slow down.

730
00:44:29,321 --> 00:44:32,294
I can't help it. Perry Como
always does this to me.

731
00:44:32,328 --> 00:44:34,596
I just get so cranked.

732
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:48,119
Card, please. End of service.

733
00:44:48,790 --> 00:44:50,483
That was wonderful.

734
00:44:50,516 --> 00:44:53,010
I've never felt anything
like that before in my life.

735
00:44:53,043 --> 00:44:54,832
Yeah, same here.
Don't forget your suitcase.

736
00:44:57,134 --> 00:44:58,476
Thanks. You know-

737
00:45:06,244 --> 00:45:07,587
I would like to stay
at this hotel.

738
00:45:07,683 --> 00:45:10,464
Fill this out, please,
and I'll need to see a card.

739
00:45:11,711 --> 00:45:12,862
A card?

740
00:45:12,958 --> 00:45:14,363
Yes, sir.

741
00:45:14,396 --> 00:45:17,273
Oh. Of course.

742
00:45:24,370 --> 00:45:25,809
OK, then.

743
00:45:27,247 --> 00:45:28,940
Bathroom's there...

744
00:45:28,974 --> 00:45:30,892
TV's there-remote is on top.

745
00:45:30,988 --> 00:45:32,810
Room service menu on the table.

746
00:45:34,344 --> 00:45:36,166
Wow.

747
00:45:46,620 --> 00:45:48,250
Oh, you dial nine to get out.

748
00:45:50,072 --> 00:45:51,127
Of what?

749
00:45:52,758 --> 00:45:54,196
The hotel.

750
00:45:55,827 --> 00:45:56,882
I see.

751
00:45:59,663 --> 00:46:01,964
Thank you.
You've been very, very helpful.

752
00:46:01,998 --> 00:46:04,266
I managed to get some change
downstairs...

753
00:46:04,362 --> 00:46:06,856
and my father taught me
in situations like this...

754
00:46:06,889 --> 00:46:08,486
it's customary to give a tip.

755
00:46:09,445 --> 00:46:11,843
Your father's a smart guy.

756
00:46:11,938 --> 00:46:13,185
My father's a genius.

757
00:46:17,021 --> 00:46:20,570
All right, here's your key,
and good night, sir.

758
00:46:20,603 --> 00:46:22,167
Good night. Sleep tight.

759
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:25,173
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
That's what my mom always says.

760
00:46:25,269 --> 00:46:26,995
Who I'm really beginning
to miss, by the way.

761
00:46:28,338 --> 00:46:31,311
Sorry. It's my first night
away from home.

762
00:46:32,462 --> 00:46:33,948
How old are you?

763
00:46:33,982 --> 00:46:35,435
Thirty-five.

764
00:46:36,873 --> 00:46:38,312
You don't look thirty-five.

765
00:46:38,408 --> 00:46:39,846
How old do I look?

766
00:46:39,942 --> 00:46:42,532
Oh, twenty-five, around there.

767
00:46:44,162 --> 00:46:46,080
I guess living up here
makes people look older.

768
00:46:47,615 --> 00:46:49,533
Up here
on the eighteenth floor?

769
00:46:50,396 --> 00:46:52,314
Yes, up here
on the eighteenth floor.

770
00:46:52,602 --> 00:46:53,848
Good night.

771
00:47:08,809 --> 00:47:10,440
What the hell am I doing here?

772
00:47:10,536 --> 00:47:12,933
That's what I'd like to know.
Somebody tell me that.

773
00:47:14,276 --> 00:47:16,832
Natural oils, tropical fruits...

774
00:47:16,865 --> 00:47:20,701
flora, nuts,
and protective sunscreens...

775
00:47:20,735 --> 00:47:23,195
a complete sun-care line...

776
00:47:31,443 --> 00:47:34,032
Hi. This is the woman
from the baseball card store.

777
00:47:34,128 --> 00:47:35,183
Remember me?

778
00:47:38,060 --> 00:47:39,690
Hot-diggety-dog!

779
00:47:39,786 --> 00:47:42,280
Thanks for calling me
on the telephone.

780
00:47:49,569 --> 00:47:51,103
I'm so glad to see you.

781
00:47:51,199 --> 00:47:52,254
I thought
I'd never see you again.

782
00:47:52,287 --> 00:47:54,042
OK, down, boy.

783
00:47:54,076 --> 00:47:57,049
Listen, I can't take this
for driving you home.

784
00:47:57,145 --> 00:48:00,022
I wish I could, but I can't,
so, here, take it back.

785
00:48:01,173 --> 00:48:02,611
I would have left it
at the front desk...

786
00:48:02,645 --> 00:48:03,858
but it's very valuable.
Take it.

787
00:48:03,954 --> 00:48:05,393
I can't take that. It's yours.

788
00:48:05,426 --> 00:48:06,831
Take it, damn it!

789
00:48:07,790 --> 00:48:09,708
Why are you doing that?

790
00:48:09,804 --> 00:48:11,339
Because I haven't brushed yet.

791
00:48:13,832 --> 00:48:16,517
Well, so long. Enjoy your visit.

792
00:48:16,551 --> 00:48:18,210
Wait. Eve, please wait.

793
00:48:18,244 --> 00:48:20,895
Please, do not follow me.
Don't do it.

794
00:48:20,929 --> 00:48:23,854
I knew this would happen.
You're like a lost puppy.

795
00:48:23,888 --> 00:48:26,779
Can't you talk to me
for just one little second?

796
00:48:28,505 --> 00:48:30,774
Damn, I should have
taken the money and run.

797
00:48:30,807 --> 00:48:33,397
That's what Troy told me to do,
but did I listen? No.

798
00:48:34,260 --> 00:48:36,993
Will you put your hand down?

799
00:48:37,026 --> 00:48:39,726
Who's Troy? Is he your husband?

800
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:41,548
Or a boyfriend?

801
00:48:42,124 --> 00:48:43,946
Thank you!

802
00:48:44,042 --> 00:48:46,535
Stop that! Don't do that!

803
00:48:46,631 --> 00:48:50,036
Listen, I know you like me, OK?
I can tell.

804
00:48:50,069 --> 00:48:53,407
But, you know what?
A lot of guys like me.

805
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:56,222
Not me exactly. It's my legs
or my butt or my hair...

806
00:48:56,255 --> 00:48:57,468
or some combination
of the above.

807
00:48:57,502 --> 00:48:59,386
I think it's the eyes.

808
00:48:59,482 --> 00:49:01,688
The eyes?

809
00:49:01,784 --> 00:49:04,949
Great. An eye man.
Anyhow, it never works out.

810
00:49:05,045 --> 00:49:07,251
OK? Not that you even
need to know that.

811
00:49:07,346 --> 00:49:09,744
You look like crap.
What have you been doing?

812
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:12,429
Watching television in color.

813
00:49:14,060 --> 00:49:15,594
In color? No kidding.

814
00:49:15,690 --> 00:49:17,992
Cross my heart and hope to die.

815
00:49:18,088 --> 00:49:19,718
Yeah. See ya.

816
00:49:20,389 --> 00:49:21,828
Why doesn't it ever work out?

817
00:49:21,861 --> 00:49:22,883
What?

818
00:49:22,979 --> 00:49:24,705
Why doesn't it ever work out,
you and men?

819
00:49:24,739 --> 00:49:26,623
Why? Who the hell knows?

820
00:49:27,678 --> 00:49:30,076
If you promise to leave me
alone, I'll tell you why.

821
00:49:30,939 --> 00:49:31,960
It never works out...

822
00:49:31,994 --> 00:49:34,775
because I am into legs
and hair and butts myself.

823
00:49:34,808 --> 00:49:37,556
So I wind up with guys
who are very good-looking...

824
00:49:37,652 --> 00:49:40,337
but even more shallow than I am,
if you can picture that.

825
00:49:40,371 --> 00:49:41,776
If you'll excuse me,
I have to go find...

826
00:49:41,872 --> 00:49:43,214
another low-paying,
demeaning job...

827
00:49:43,310 --> 00:49:45,228
where some guy named Jerry
keeps telling me...

828
00:49:45,262 --> 00:49:46,825
how lousy his marriage is.

829
00:49:46,859 --> 00:49:48,729
- Why not go to work for me?
- Doing what?

830
00:49:48,762 --> 00:49:50,599
Helping me sell
all my baseball cards...

831
00:49:50,695 --> 00:49:51,750
and buying enough
food and supplies...

832
00:49:51,846 --> 00:49:53,764
to fill several large trucks.

833
00:49:53,956 --> 00:49:55,361
Food and supplies?

834
00:49:55,394 --> 00:49:56,833
Who for, starving people?

835
00:49:56,929 --> 00:50:00,285
They're not starving yet,
but they do need help.

836
00:50:00,319 --> 00:50:01,916
How long would you need me for?

837
00:50:01,949 --> 00:50:03,417
Two weeks.

838
00:50:03,450 --> 00:50:04,697
What's the pay?

839
00:50:04,730 --> 00:50:05,944
What's fair?

840
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:09,204
I gotta make at least
a thousand dollars a week.

841
00:50:14,095 --> 00:50:15,246
You got it.

842
00:50:15,918 --> 00:50:17,836
- Wait here while I get changed.
- Sure.

843
00:50:28,865 --> 00:50:30,366
Here you go.

844
00:50:30,399 --> 00:50:31,838
Why would someone need...

845
00:50:31,934 --> 00:50:35,257
twenty-six yacht batteries?

846
00:50:35,290 --> 00:50:37,640
I don't know.
I just work for the guy.

847
00:50:37,673 --> 00:50:39,989
And who does he work for,
the CIA?

848
00:50:40,023 --> 00:50:41,620
Pipe tobacco.

849
00:50:43,058 --> 00:50:44,593
I'm going to need all of this.

850
00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:48,909
Toilet paper.

851
00:50:50,923 --> 00:50:52,073
Is there a sale?

852
00:51:07,802 --> 00:51:09,720
Well, another day,
another dollar.

853
00:51:16,817 --> 00:51:18,159
Will you stop staring at me?

854
00:51:18,193 --> 00:51:19,310
Sorry.

855
00:51:20,173 --> 00:51:21,516
I'll pick you up
at 8:00 in the morning.

856
00:51:25,544 --> 00:51:26,695
You know, Eve, I was thinking-

857
00:51:26,791 --> 00:51:27,845
Good night.

858
00:51:47,410 --> 00:51:49,232
We'll need to rent
a refrigerated truck...

859
00:51:49,266 --> 00:51:51,150
for the beef and poultry.

860
00:51:51,246 --> 00:51:53,035
Well, it's your life.

861
00:51:53,068 --> 00:51:54,986
And by the way, it's a dandy.

862
00:51:57,672 --> 00:51:59,973
Think we're also going to have
to get another locker.

863
00:52:00,645 --> 00:52:02,946
It's no problem. We'll just
sell another baseball card.

864
00:52:04,481 --> 00:52:05,727
Coming down.

865
00:52:15,414 --> 00:52:16,565
You know, Eve...

866
00:52:17,524 --> 00:52:19,346
And-and don't get mad,
OK, but...

867
00:52:20,784 --> 00:52:23,374
I would just be lost
without you.

868
00:52:26,539 --> 00:52:27,785
Thanks.

869
00:52:29,799 --> 00:52:31,238
And I guess...

870
00:52:32,197 --> 00:52:33,540
I guess that...

871
00:52:33,635 --> 00:52:34,657
I think that you and I-

872
00:52:34,690 --> 00:52:36,608
Adam,
don't even think about it, OK?

873
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:38,972
I'm sorry.
I know that sounds mean...

874
00:52:39,006 --> 00:52:41,404
but it would be a lot meaner
if I didn't say it, OK?

875
00:52:43,897 --> 00:52:45,815
Let's take this truck back,
and I'm hungry.

876
00:52:49,747 --> 00:52:50,802
Are you getting in?

877
00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:57,707
There's something else
I'd like you to help me with.

878
00:52:57,803 --> 00:52:58,858
Name it.

879
00:52:58,954 --> 00:53:01,543
I'm afraid this is going
to sound a little bit crazy.

880
00:53:01,577 --> 00:53:03,461
I'm sure it will.

881
00:53:03,557 --> 00:53:04,612
Then forget it.

882
00:53:04,708 --> 00:53:07,298
No, no. I'm sorry.

883
00:53:07,331 --> 00:53:08,448
What is it?

884
00:53:09,887 --> 00:53:11,517
Eve,
I want you to help me find...

885
00:53:12,285 --> 00:53:13,340
a wife.

886
00:53:13,435 --> 00:53:15,833
- A wife?
- Yes.

887
00:53:15,867 --> 00:53:16,950
What for?

888
00:53:16,984 --> 00:53:18,902
Because I want to get married.

889
00:53:19,094 --> 00:53:20,595
Why?

890
00:53:20,628 --> 00:53:22,225
Because I don't want
to be alone.

891
00:53:22,259 --> 00:53:24,177
Well, you can be single
and not alone.

892
00:53:24,273 --> 00:53:26,541
Marriage bites.

893
00:53:26,574 --> 00:53:28,780
- Bites what?
- The big one.

894
00:53:28,876 --> 00:53:30,027
It does?

895
00:53:30,060 --> 00:53:31,178
Sure.

896
00:53:31,274 --> 00:53:32,329
Oh. I didn't know that.

897
00:53:32,424 --> 00:53:34,055
Everybody knows that.

898
00:53:34,151 --> 00:53:36,644
I mean,
ask my divorced brothers...

899
00:53:36,678 --> 00:53:38,562
or my divorced mom and dad.

900
00:53:38,658 --> 00:53:40,576
Everybody knows that.

901
00:53:40,672 --> 00:53:42,255
They're all divorced?

902
00:53:42,288 --> 00:53:43,837
Everybody's divorced.

903
00:53:48,632 --> 00:53:50,263
What kind of wife
you looking for?

904
00:53:50,296 --> 00:53:51,989
Oh, um, well...

905
00:53:53,140 --> 00:53:54,482
one who's not a mutant.

906
00:53:55,441 --> 00:53:56,832
No dogs, huh?

907
00:53:56,865 --> 00:53:58,223
OK. Cool.

908
00:53:59,469 --> 00:54:00,874
And if it's possible...

909
00:54:00,908 --> 00:54:03,210
I'd like to marry
someone from Pasadena.

910
00:54:08,484 --> 00:54:10,882
Um, when do you need her by?

911
00:54:12,608 --> 00:54:13,759
Two weeks?

912
00:54:14,622 --> 00:54:17,451
Well, I can probably
get you laid in two weeks...

913
00:54:17,485 --> 00:54:20,280
but to locate a non-mutant wife
from Pasadena...

914
00:54:20,314 --> 00:54:21,527
will take some time.

915
00:54:22,966 --> 00:54:24,308
That's what I was afraid of.

916
00:54:30,158 --> 00:54:32,460
What do you mean,
you can get me laid?

917
00:54:34,762 --> 00:54:36,296
Uh, can we talk about that
a little later?

918
00:54:36,392 --> 00:54:37,927
- Of course.
- Great.

919
00:54:40,612 --> 00:54:43,249
Lord, bless this food
we are about to receive...

920
00:54:43,283 --> 00:54:45,887
and make us ever mindful
of the needs of others.

921
00:54:45,983 --> 00:54:47,181
And bless my mom...

922
00:54:47,215 --> 00:54:48,380
and bless my dad...

923
00:54:48,476 --> 00:54:50,394
and bless my new friend Eve.

924
00:54:50,586 --> 00:54:51,737
Amen.

925
00:55:01,999 --> 00:55:03,020
Get out.

926
00:55:03,053 --> 00:55:05,355
- The engine is still running.
- Now! Get out!

927
00:55:05,389 --> 00:55:06,410
Yes, ma'am.

928
00:55:06,506 --> 00:55:07,945
- Stop the "Ma'am" crap.
- Sorry.

929
00:55:09,575 --> 00:55:10,980
You almost got us killed.

930
00:55:11,013 --> 00:55:12,740
I told you,
I've never driven before.

931
00:55:12,836 --> 00:55:14,274
Well, never drive again.

932
00:55:14,370 --> 00:55:16,288
You said it would be easy.

933
00:55:16,384 --> 00:55:17,823
Well, I was wrong!

934
00:55:18,878 --> 00:55:20,700
- Say, is this your house?
- Yes.

935
00:55:20,733 --> 00:55:21,755
I like it.

936
00:55:21,851 --> 00:55:23,673
What are you
bitching about now?

937
00:55:24,344 --> 00:55:25,783
What are you doing here?

938
00:55:25,816 --> 00:55:27,221
I forgot some of my stuff.

939
00:55:27,255 --> 00:55:29,139
- Your stuff?
- Yeah.

940
00:55:29,173 --> 00:55:30,386
Let me see that.

941
00:55:31,249 --> 00:55:33,167
Oh, you came back
for your underwear.

942
00:55:33,359 --> 00:55:36,140
Excuse me.
These are Ralph Laurens.

943
00:55:36,236 --> 00:55:37,387
How'd you get in?

944
00:55:38,826 --> 00:55:39,881
Thanks.

945
00:55:40,648 --> 00:55:43,045
And who's this
interesting looking fellow?

946
00:55:43,079 --> 00:55:44,100
This is Adam.

947
00:55:44,196 --> 00:55:45,635
Adam, this is Cliff.

948
00:55:45,668 --> 00:55:47,186
How do you do?

949
00:55:47,219 --> 00:55:48,704
I do fine, Adam.

950
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,005
How about yourself?
You, uh...

951
00:55:51,039 --> 00:55:52,602
doing any good lately?

952
00:55:52,636 --> 00:55:55,033
Go home, Cliff,
wherever that might be.

953
00:55:55,067 --> 00:55:56,534
Sheena Gilroy's apartment.

954
00:55:56,568 --> 00:55:59,924
You remember her. She's
the model who went to Harvard.

955
00:56:02,322 --> 00:56:04,144
Well, I'd better be going.

956
00:56:04,178 --> 00:56:05,391
Bye, Adam.

957
00:56:05,487 --> 00:56:07,165
- Nice coat.
- Thank you, Cliff.

958
00:56:07,199 --> 00:56:08,843
It was very nice to meet you.

959
00:56:08,939 --> 00:56:10,474
That's a nice parking job, too.

960
00:56:11,337 --> 00:56:12,776
May I ask you a question?

961
00:56:12,871 --> 00:56:13,893
He's a former boyfriend.

962
00:56:13,926 --> 00:56:15,331
We lived together
for about six months...

963
00:56:15,365 --> 00:56:17,667
and, yes, I still have
sort of a thing for him.

964
00:56:17,700 --> 00:56:19,872
That's what you wanted to know,
isn't it?

965
00:56:19,906 --> 00:56:21,469
No. I was going to ask you...

966
00:56:21,503 --> 00:56:24,092
why Cliff likes to wear
another man's underpants.

967
00:56:24,126 --> 00:56:25,243
What?

968
00:56:38,861 --> 00:56:41,163
This guy is unbelievable.

969
00:56:42,218 --> 00:56:43,239
I knew you'd like him.

970
00:56:43,273 --> 00:56:45,910
I know. It's like he's from
"X Files" or something.

971
00:56:45,944 --> 00:56:48,548
He's got all these easily
negotiable properties, right?

972
00:56:48,644 --> 00:56:49,857
And he's obviously
setting up something big-

973
00:56:49,890 --> 00:56:52,671
maybe a self-sustaining island
off the coast of South America.

974
00:56:52,705 --> 00:56:53,726
Or maybe he's the leader
of some cult...

975
00:56:53,822 --> 00:56:57,083
that's into practices involving
poultry and pipe tobacco.

976
00:57:03,604 --> 00:57:05,427
You have very nice ceilings.

977
00:57:05,523 --> 00:57:07,057
- Do I?
- Mm-hmm.

978
00:57:07,728 --> 00:57:08,879
Well...

979
00:57:09,838 --> 00:57:11,565
you like ceilings?

980
00:57:11,660 --> 00:57:12,811
Not particularly.

981
00:57:13,866 --> 00:57:15,271
Ah. Well, I hope you like this.

982
00:57:15,305 --> 00:57:17,894
It's fresh sea urchin
wrapped in seaweed.

983
00:57:17,990 --> 00:57:19,045
I love sushi.

984
00:57:19,908 --> 00:57:21,025
I love Lucy.

985
00:57:21,059 --> 00:57:23,744
Who doesn't? She's hilarious.

986
00:57:24,512 --> 00:57:26,813
Here you go-
one champagne cocktail.

987
00:57:26,847 --> 00:57:27,930
Oh, thank you.

988
00:57:27,964 --> 00:57:29,882
I thought only hookers
drank those things.

989
00:57:30,074 --> 00:57:32,376
Well, I know Mom
sure likes them.

990
00:57:36,691 --> 00:57:39,089
Well, dinner's in fifteen.
Why don't we sit down and chat?

991
00:57:40,719 --> 00:57:42,254
So, Troy, what do you do
for a living?

992
00:57:42,287 --> 00:57:44,172
Oh, I design web sites.

993
00:57:46,761 --> 00:57:47,816
And, Adam...

994
00:57:48,775 --> 00:57:50,276
where on Earth are you from?

995
00:57:50,310 --> 00:57:51,748
Out of town.
That's all he'll say.

996
00:57:51,782 --> 00:57:53,666
It's a very small place.

997
00:57:53,762 --> 00:57:55,297
People don't even know
it's there.

998
00:57:56,064 --> 00:57:57,886
And it's called?

999
00:57:57,920 --> 00:57:59,708
Maybe Eve can guess.

1000
00:57:59,742 --> 00:58:00,859
She's psychic.

1001
00:58:00,893 --> 00:58:02,218
Is she?

1002
00:58:02,252 --> 00:58:03,511
Since when?

1003
00:58:03,544 --> 00:58:05,942
Since I got rear-ended
in Palm Springs.

1004
00:58:05,976 --> 00:58:07,189
Well, then,
Miss Dionne Warwick...

1005
00:58:07,285 --> 00:58:08,723
why don't you tell us
what town he's from?

1006
00:58:09,682 --> 00:58:11,600
All right. Give me your hand.

1007
00:58:13,327 --> 00:58:14,573
Oh, Lord.

1008
00:58:17,163 --> 00:58:18,409
I'm not promising anything.

1009
00:58:20,999 --> 00:58:22,533
- Are you OK?
- Mm-hmm.

1010
00:58:26,753 --> 00:58:28,575
I see snow-

1011
00:58:29,822 --> 00:58:31,740
lots of snow...

1012
00:58:31,836 --> 00:58:33,370
way up north.

1013
00:58:33,946 --> 00:58:35,480
Are we getting hot?

1014
00:58:36,439 --> 00:58:37,398
Yes...

1015
00:58:40,084 --> 00:58:41,968
You live in Alaska...

1016
00:58:42,002 --> 00:58:44,783
and the only way in and out
of your place is by plane.

1017
00:58:45,934 --> 00:58:48,811
And you definitely came here
for food and supplies...

1018
00:58:48,844 --> 00:58:50,249
and to find a wife.

1019
00:58:53,510 --> 00:58:54,819
That was right?

1020
00:58:54,853 --> 00:58:56,675
Got goosebumps all over me.

1021
00:58:56,709 --> 00:58:58,464
I'm clairvoyant, butthead.

1022
00:58:58,497 --> 00:59:00,895
Why wouldn't you just go
to Nome...

1023
00:59:00,991 --> 00:59:02,237
to get supplies and a wife?

1024
00:59:02,333 --> 00:59:03,580
Isn't that a lot closer?

1025
00:59:03,676 --> 00:59:06,649
Yeah, right. That's where
you'd go to find girls-

1026
00:59:06,683 --> 00:59:08,054
Nome.

1027
00:59:08,088 --> 00:59:09,622
He's gay, by the way.

1028
00:59:10,869 --> 00:59:12,499
Well, good for you.

1029
00:59:13,746 --> 00:59:15,664
Well, we try.

1030
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:17,198
Can I ask you some questions?

1031
00:59:19,117 --> 00:59:20,939
When did Alaska become a state?

1032
00:59:20,972 --> 00:59:22,056
1959.

1033
00:59:22,090 --> 00:59:24,487
And who owned it before we did?

1034
00:59:24,583 --> 00:59:25,892
Russia.

1035
00:59:25,926 --> 00:59:27,364
And when did we get it
from them?

1036
00:59:27,398 --> 00:59:29,153
1867-Seward's folly.

1037
00:59:29,186 --> 00:59:32,064
We purchased it for seven
point two million dollars-

1038
00:59:32,097 --> 00:59:33,790
a tidy sum then as well as now.

1039
00:59:33,886 --> 00:59:35,612
I'm quoting my father,
of course.

1040
00:59:35,646 --> 00:59:37,338
All right,
what's the state capital?

1041
00:59:37,372 --> 00:59:38,455
Juneau.

1042
00:59:38,489 --> 00:59:40,791
Hello? It's Anchorage. Gotcha.

1043
00:59:41,942 --> 00:59:43,860
Sorry. That's the largest city.

1044
00:59:49,902 --> 00:59:51,019
Where's he going?

1045
00:59:51,052 --> 00:59:53,642
He's going to check
your answers on his computer.

1046
00:59:54,793 --> 00:59:56,039
He has a computer?

1047
00:59:56,135 --> 00:59:58,053
- Sure.
- In the house?

1048
00:59:58,149 --> 01:00:00,067
No, actually,
it's in the backyard.

1049
01:00:00,259 --> 01:00:01,890
Of course it's in the house.
It's in there.

1050
01:00:01,923 --> 01:00:02,945
May I be excused, please?

1051
01:00:04,767 --> 01:00:05,918
Thank you.

1052
01:00:54,445 --> 01:00:55,692
Who are you?

1053
01:00:57,610 --> 01:00:58,665
I'm the mother.

1054
01:00:58,761 --> 01:01:00,199
It's the mother!

1055
01:01:17,845 --> 01:01:19,572
Troy, I suppose
those tall buildings...

1056
01:01:19,668 --> 01:01:21,264
we saw this morning are new?

1057
01:01:21,298 --> 01:01:23,695
Yeah.
Almost all of them, anyway.

1058
01:01:23,729 --> 01:01:25,230
The recovery's impressive.

1059
01:01:25,264 --> 01:01:26,347
Recovery?

1060
01:01:26,381 --> 01:01:29,929
Oh, yeah. They rebuilt
the freeway in only six months.

1061
01:01:29,963 --> 01:01:31,655
- Really?
- Uh-huh.

1062
01:01:31,751 --> 01:01:33,669
That's amazing.
I'm very impressed.

1063
01:01:33,765 --> 01:01:35,683
- Oh, well, that's impressive.
- Are you sure I look OK?

1064
01:01:35,779 --> 01:01:37,602
Oh, trust me, you look fabulous.

1065
01:01:37,697 --> 01:01:38,752
Thank you, Troy.

1066
01:01:44,794 --> 01:01:47,000
So, what do you think?

1067
01:01:47,959 --> 01:01:49,076
It works.

1068
01:01:49,110 --> 01:01:51,028
Maybe I should show you
the entire trousseau-

1069
01:01:51,220 --> 01:01:53,042
shirts, sweaters, socks,
the whole thing.

1070
01:01:53,138 --> 01:01:54,576
No. First, let's show her these.

1071
01:01:57,645 --> 01:01:58,988
Eve, can I skate
around your block?

1072
01:02:00,714 --> 01:02:02,311
How about it, Eve?

1073
01:02:02,345 --> 01:02:04,263
Can he skate around your block?

1074
01:02:06,181 --> 01:02:07,859
Just a few laps.

1075
01:02:07,893 --> 01:02:09,537
It won't take long.

1076
01:02:28,239 --> 01:02:29,390
Look.

1077
01:02:39,843 --> 01:02:42,049
Adam, will you go skate
on the bike path?

1078
01:02:42,145 --> 01:02:44,446
- Where?
- The bike path. It's over there.

1079
01:02:47,324 --> 01:02:48,954
God, I wish I could wear
those pants.

1080
01:04:43,751 --> 01:04:45,573
All right, girl, hit that ball.

1081
01:04:55,547 --> 01:04:57,048
I get it.

1082
01:04:57,081 --> 01:04:58,999
I finally get it.

1083
01:04:59,191 --> 01:05:01,781
You have to see it
to understand it.

1084
01:05:03,795 --> 01:05:05,233
Because he must.

1085
01:05:15,974 --> 01:05:17,509
Haven't you ever heard
the saying...

1086
01:05:17,605 --> 01:05:19,906
"He hasn't got enough sense
to come in out of the rain"?

1087
01:05:21,441 --> 01:05:23,134
You know...

1088
01:05:23,167 --> 01:05:25,996
my father, who is a scientist...

1089
01:05:26,030 --> 01:05:28,825
says that everything
is a miracle.

1090
01:05:29,785 --> 01:05:30,998
Everything.

1091
01:05:31,031 --> 01:05:34,100
Until recently, I wasn't sure
what he meant by that.

1092
01:05:34,196 --> 01:05:35,635
No kidding. Listen...

1093
01:05:35,731 --> 01:05:37,553
you still want to go
girl hunting tonight?

1094
01:05:37,586 --> 01:05:38,895
Oh, yes, I certainly do.

1095
01:05:41,293 --> 01:05:42,410
But, I mean, you know...

1096
01:05:42,444 --> 01:05:43,786
this whole business
of finding you a wife...

1097
01:05:43,882 --> 01:05:45,321
it's pretty ridiculous,
don't you think?

1098
01:05:45,417 --> 01:05:47,335
- No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.

1099
01:05:48,582 --> 01:05:50,500
A girlfriend, maybe,
but a wife, it's...

1100
01:05:50,787 --> 01:05:52,034
Well, then help me
find a girlfriend.

1101
01:05:52,068 --> 01:05:53,343
That's all I ask.

1102
01:05:53,377 --> 01:05:55,583
I'll tell you what. I'll give
you every single card I've got.

1103
01:05:56,446 --> 01:05:59,131
Screw you. You think I'm just
somebody you can buy off?

1104
01:05:59,165 --> 01:06:00,778
I didn't mean that at all.

1105
01:06:00,811 --> 01:06:02,392
Eve, you're my best friend.

1106
01:06:02,488 --> 01:06:05,077
Would you do it because
you're my very best friend?

1107
01:06:14,284 --> 01:06:15,722
Thank you, Eve.

1108
01:06:23,970 --> 01:06:25,600
Well, why did we park
way back there?

1109
01:06:27,327 --> 01:06:29,820
She doesn't allow total
strangers to drive her car.

1110
01:06:32,410 --> 01:06:34,376
- What?
- Ladies first, Troy.

1111
01:06:34,409 --> 01:06:36,342
- That was close.
- Uh-huh.

1112
01:06:37,205 --> 01:06:40,466
My goodness gracious,
this place is something.

1113
01:06:40,561 --> 01:06:41,856
Look unimpressed.

1114
01:06:41,890 --> 01:06:43,151
Yeah, bored, even.

1115
01:06:44,973 --> 01:06:47,371
Try vaguely bored.

1116
01:06:47,467 --> 01:06:49,672
Unimpressed,
but still interested.

1117
01:06:51,782 --> 01:06:52,837
Not crazy.

1118
01:06:52,933 --> 01:06:54,276
- Do I look crazy?
- Yes.

1119
01:06:54,372 --> 01:06:56,673
Just, uh, be loose.

1120
01:06:58,112 --> 01:07:00,701
- Just be yourself.
- That's always good advice.

1121
01:07:00,735 --> 01:07:03,291
Well, for him. It doesn't work
with the rest of us.

1122
01:07:06,264 --> 01:07:09,812
Of all the clubs in all
the towns in all the world...

1123
01:07:09,846 --> 01:07:11,155
you walk into mine.

1124
01:07:11,251 --> 01:07:13,313
So welcome to Club 40's...

1125
01:07:13,346 --> 01:07:15,375
where the party never stops.

1126
01:07:15,408 --> 01:07:16,525
Ah, Jason, Jonathan...

1127
01:07:16,621 --> 01:07:18,156
this is Adam.
Adam, that's them.

1128
01:07:18,252 --> 01:07:19,498
Hi. How do you do?

1129
01:07:19,594 --> 01:07:22,759
It's very nice to meet you,
Jason and Jonathan.

1130
01:07:22,793 --> 01:07:23,876
My mother always said...

1131
01:07:23,910 --> 01:07:25,540
that when you meet someone
for the first time...

1132
01:07:25,636 --> 01:07:27,554
it's always easier
to remember their names...

1133
01:07:27,650 --> 01:07:30,719
if you use those names
right away, Jason and Jonathan.

1134
01:07:32,062 --> 01:07:33,500
He's from Alaska.

1135
01:07:36,473 --> 01:07:37,672
Hi there, Eve.

1136
01:07:37,706 --> 01:07:38,871
Who's the hunk?

1137
01:07:38,967 --> 01:07:40,357
Get lost, Sophie.

1138
01:07:40,391 --> 01:07:41,715
Hi. I'm Sophie.

1139
01:07:41,748 --> 01:07:43,474
Hi. How do you do?
I'm Adam Webber.

1140
01:07:43,508 --> 01:07:44,721
Adam lives in Alaska.

1141
01:07:44,817 --> 01:07:45,934
No shit?

1142
01:07:45,968 --> 01:07:47,982
- Vous parlez fran�ais?
- Oui.

1143
01:07:48,015 --> 01:07:49,868
Moi, je parle un peu fran�ais.

1144
01:07:49,902 --> 01:07:51,722
Oh, you speak beautiful French.

1145
01:07:51,818 --> 01:07:53,511
J'ai habite � paris un an.

1146
01:07:53,544 --> 01:07:55,175
Paris-
c'est la vie des lumieres...

1147
01:07:55,208 --> 01:07:56,517
- n'est-ce pas?
- Oui.

1148
01:07:56,613 --> 01:07:58,963
- C'est le pays d'amour.
- Bien sur.

1149
01:07:58,996 --> 01:08:01,279
C'est bien que
je vous aie rencontree...

1150
01:08:01,312 --> 01:08:03,231
parce que je n'ai pas
eu la chance de pratiquer.

1151
01:08:03,518 --> 01:08:04,861
Si tu veux,
nous pouvons pratiquer...

1152
01:08:04,957 --> 01:08:06,491
beaucoup de choses ensemble.

1153
01:08:08,985 --> 01:08:10,136
Tais-toi.

1154
01:08:11,670 --> 01:08:12,725
Au revoir.

1155
01:08:12,821 --> 01:08:13,972
Je m'appelle Adam Webber.

1156
01:08:15,314 --> 01:08:16,801
Quit showing off.
We're here on business.

1157
01:08:16,834 --> 01:08:18,287
I thought we were here
to meet women.

1158
01:08:18,383 --> 01:08:20,205
- Not that one.
- I like her.

1159
01:08:20,301 --> 01:08:22,987
Now, Sophie,
when you fly to Paris...

1160
01:08:23,020 --> 01:08:25,672
do you check these,
or are they carry-on?

1161
01:08:25,706 --> 01:08:27,015
They're carry-on.

1162
01:08:29,604 --> 01:08:30,755
Excuse me.

1163
01:08:37,180 --> 01:08:38,811
What are you drinking?

1164
01:08:38,844 --> 01:08:40,408
Oh, this is a Rob Roy.

1165
01:08:40,441 --> 01:08:41,976
It's a very popular drink
I'm told.

1166
01:08:44,373 --> 01:08:45,428
How about her?

1167
01:08:46,291 --> 01:08:47,442
No way.

1168
01:08:48,977 --> 01:08:50,895
Why not? I-I think
she's very attractive.

1169
01:08:52,717 --> 01:08:55,306
She's got "bitch"
written all over her.

1170
01:08:55,340 --> 01:08:57,576
You do know what "bitch" means,
don't you?

1171
01:08:57,610 --> 01:08:59,527
Well, yes, I do.
I do have a dictionary...

1172
01:08:59,561 --> 01:09:01,444
but I can't understand
for the life of me...

1173
01:09:01,540 --> 01:09:03,554
why you would say that
about her...

1174
01:09:03,588 --> 01:09:05,568
or why Cliff would say that
about you.

1175
01:09:10,267 --> 01:09:12,185
I think for you
we should aim for...

1176
01:09:12,377 --> 01:09:13,590
sweet.

1177
01:09:13,624 --> 01:09:15,830
OK. I like that.

1178
01:09:15,926 --> 01:09:17,331
Yeah, sweet.

1179
01:09:17,364 --> 01:09:19,282
That's a lovely way
of putting it.

1180
01:09:20,913 --> 01:09:22,831
There's Miss Sweet over there
by the hors d'oeuvres table.

1181
01:09:23,118 --> 01:09:24,140
Look.

1182
01:09:24,173 --> 01:09:26,058
Oh, yeah, yeah. Could be.

1183
01:09:26,091 --> 01:09:28,551
Yeah, go on, Romeo. Say hello.

1184
01:09:28,585 --> 01:09:30,407
She looks
like a non-mutant to me.

1185
01:09:30,503 --> 01:09:31,846
OK. All right.

1186
01:09:32,805 --> 01:09:33,860
What do I say to her?

1187
01:09:33,955 --> 01:09:36,449
Oh, say something surprising...

1188
01:09:36,545 --> 01:09:37,696
something funny-

1189
01:09:38,847 --> 01:09:40,093
Lie, if need be.

1190
01:09:40,189 --> 01:09:42,361
- Lie?
- Oh, yeah.

1191
01:09:42,395 --> 01:09:44,793
Lying can be
a very effective dating tool.

1192
01:09:48,821 --> 01:09:50,259
All right.

1193
01:09:50,293 --> 01:09:51,698
Here I go.

1194
01:09:55,054 --> 01:09:56,589
I don't think
I want to watch this.

1195
01:09:56,622 --> 01:09:58,507
Surprising and funny.

1196
01:09:58,699 --> 01:10:00,521
Well, I know "the duck
who bought some lip balm. "

1197
01:10:01,863 --> 01:10:03,110
Lie.

1198
01:10:08,481 --> 01:10:10,399
I was wondering
if you could help me.

1199
01:10:10,432 --> 01:10:12,317
I, um, seem to have lost...

1200
01:10:12,605 --> 01:10:13,851
my Congressional Medal
of Honor...

1201
01:10:13,885 --> 01:10:15,578
around here somewhere.

1202
01:10:17,879 --> 01:10:19,126
Now, that's a great one.

1203
01:10:22,099 --> 01:10:23,825
This is my new friend.

1204
01:10:26,798 --> 01:10:28,429
Hi. I'm Heather.

1205
01:10:30,539 --> 01:10:32,457
I don't believe I've ever
heard that name before.

1206
01:10:37,444 --> 01:10:38,978
Yeah, do you dance?

1207
01:10:39,074 --> 01:10:40,992
Why, I took a dance lesson
every day of my life...

1208
01:10:41,280 --> 01:10:43,006
up until a couple of days ago.

1209
01:10:43,102 --> 01:10:44,924
- You're kidding.
- No, no, I did.

1210
01:10:46,555 --> 01:10:47,849
Shall we dance?

1211
01:10:47,883 --> 01:10:49,144
- Sure.
- Yeah?

1212
01:10:53,843 --> 01:10:55,282
Wait for me.

1213
01:12:58,422 --> 01:12:59,540
Is that your girlfriend?

1214
01:12:59,573 --> 01:13:02,067
No, no.
Will you please excuse me?

1215
01:13:03,793 --> 01:13:05,711
You - you go to the bathroom.

1216
01:13:05,807 --> 01:13:06,862
What, right here?

1217
01:13:07,821 --> 01:13:10,314
I thought I should check.
You're being so bossy.

1218
01:13:10,410 --> 01:13:11,657
Thank you both very much
for the dance.

1219
01:13:11,691 --> 01:13:12,808
Thank you.

1220
01:13:18,274 --> 01:13:20,097
I have to go to the bathroom.

1221
01:13:23,741 --> 01:13:26,091
- You wanted to see me?
- You're not from Alaska.

1222
01:13:26,124 --> 01:13:28,440
Where the hell did you learn
to dance like that?

1223
01:13:28,536 --> 01:13:31,317
And there are
no starving people, are there?

1224
01:13:31,351 --> 01:13:32,626
Why are you so angry with me?

1225
01:13:32,660 --> 01:13:34,866
What, you think
I'm some kind of sap?

1226
01:13:34,899 --> 01:13:36,273
No, I don't.

1227
01:13:36,306 --> 01:13:37,613
I admire you.

1228
01:13:37,647 --> 01:13:40,332
I fell in love with you
the very moment I saw you.

1229
01:13:40,366 --> 01:13:42,154
I want you to stop lying to me.

1230
01:13:43,689 --> 01:13:44,902
All right.

1231
01:13:44,936 --> 01:13:46,086
I'll tell you everything.

1232
01:13:46,120 --> 01:13:47,525
In 1962-

1233
01:13:47,621 --> 01:13:49,410
Well, well, well.

1234
01:13:49,443 --> 01:13:50,978
Don't we clean up nice?

1235
01:13:52,896 --> 01:13:54,046
Well, hello, Cliff.

1236
01:13:54,718 --> 01:13:56,252
How are you this evening?

1237
01:13:56,348 --> 01:13:57,945
Not bad...

1238
01:13:57,979 --> 01:14:00,664
though I do miss
that green sport coat of yours.

1239
01:14:00,760 --> 01:14:01,973
Oh, why, thank you, Cliff...

1240
01:14:02,006 --> 01:14:03,637
but that's my seat,
and I was just about-

1241
01:14:03,670 --> 01:14:05,459
Come have a drink up at the bar.

1242
01:14:13,227 --> 01:14:14,666
Sure.

1243
01:14:14,762 --> 01:14:15,913
Excuse us.

1244
01:14:17,159 --> 01:14:18,310
It's all yours.

1245
01:14:47,944 --> 01:14:49,383
Please excuse this interruption.

1246
01:14:49,416 --> 01:14:50,438
Oh, brother.

1247
01:14:50,534 --> 01:14:53,027
Eve, I don't mean to be rude,
and, Cliff, please excuse me...

1248
01:14:53,123 --> 01:14:56,000
but, Eve, isn't Cliff
just a butt with hair?

1249
01:14:56,096 --> 01:14:57,118
What?

1250
01:14:57,151 --> 01:15:00,412
I'm sorry. And legs-
Legs, butt, and hair.

1251
01:15:00,508 --> 01:15:01,563
And shallow as well.

1252
01:15:01,659 --> 01:15:02,680
Shallow?

1253
01:15:02,714 --> 01:15:04,536
Adam, why don't you go home?

1254
01:15:04,569 --> 01:15:05,782
Go back to the hotel.

1255
01:15:05,878 --> 01:15:07,509
Yeah, before I kick your ass.

1256
01:15:08,851 --> 01:15:11,633
I must warn you, Cliff,
I do know how to defend myself.

1257
01:15:11,728 --> 01:15:13,263
Oh, do you?

1258
01:15:14,030 --> 01:15:15,469
Stop it, you two.

1259
01:15:15,502 --> 01:15:17,257
Nice move.

1260
01:15:17,291 --> 01:15:19,689
Yeah, he's right. Maybe
we shouldn't fight in here.

1261
01:15:20,648 --> 01:15:21,702
I agree.

1262
01:15:25,347 --> 01:15:27,169
I'm sorry. He was going to...

1263
01:15:28,320 --> 01:15:31,067
Maybe we shouldn't fight at all.
I mean...

1264
01:15:31,101 --> 01:15:32,731
fighting's pretty immature
when you think about it.

1265
01:15:32,827 --> 01:15:34,170
It certainly is.

1266
01:15:35,992 --> 01:15:37,301
I'm leaving.

1267
01:15:37,335 --> 01:15:38,677
That's probably a good idea.

1268
01:15:38,711 --> 01:15:40,116
I'm sorry.

1269
01:15:43,281 --> 01:15:44,782
Well...

1270
01:15:44,815 --> 01:15:45,966
good night, everyone.

1271
01:15:48,364 --> 01:15:50,536
I'm leaving, too, OK?

1272
01:15:50,570 --> 01:15:51,720
And you know what?
If you want help...

1273
01:15:51,816 --> 01:15:53,543
you can ask Troy,
because I quit.

1274
01:15:53,576 --> 01:15:55,077
This is ridiculous.

1275
01:15:55,173 --> 01:15:57,762
You're ridiculous,
and I'm ridiculous.

1276
01:16:02,366 --> 01:16:04,092
I'll buy you another
Rob Roy, huh, champ?

1277
01:16:05,339 --> 01:16:06,777
Rob Roy for the gentleman.

1278
01:16:12,723 --> 01:16:13,874
Well?

1279
01:16:14,833 --> 01:16:16,272
He go back to the hotel?

1280
01:16:16,305 --> 01:16:17,806
He might have.

1281
01:16:17,902 --> 01:16:19,053
What does that mean?

1282
01:16:19,724 --> 01:16:22,314
That means
that we did not leave together.

1283
01:16:22,347 --> 01:16:23,815
Well, who did he leave with?

1284
01:16:23,848 --> 01:16:25,766
- What's that to you?
- I'm his pimp!

1285
01:16:26,629 --> 01:16:28,547
He left with those dancers,
didn't he?

1286
01:16:30,370 --> 01:16:31,425
You're the psychic.

1287
01:16:31,520 --> 01:16:33,438
Eve the psychic pimp.

1288
01:16:33,534 --> 01:16:34,781
You tell me.

1289
01:16:34,877 --> 01:16:36,603
Those sluts.

1290
01:16:37,754 --> 01:16:39,672
Then again, who isn't a slut
these days, huh?

1291
01:16:41,878 --> 01:16:42,933
Where are you going?

1292
01:16:43,029 --> 01:16:45,235
- To bed.
- To bed?

1293
01:16:45,268 --> 01:16:46,927
Sure. To bed.

1294
01:16:46,961 --> 01:16:48,783
I'm not the one
that's in love with the guy.

1295
01:16:49,742 --> 01:16:50,797
What?!

1296
01:16:51,756 --> 01:16:52,969
Now hold on!

1297
01:16:53,003 --> 01:16:54,681
Hold on just a minute.

1298
01:16:54,715 --> 01:16:56,326
In the first place...

1299
01:16:56,359 --> 01:16:58,278
I do not fall in love
with weirdoes...

1300
01:16:58,373 --> 01:17:00,292
who I've only known
for four or five days.

1301
01:17:00,325 --> 01:17:01,442
Yes, you do.

1302
01:17:01,538 --> 01:17:03,073
And I don't fall in love
with grown men...

1303
01:17:03,169 --> 01:17:04,511
who collect baseball cards!

1304
01:17:04,545 --> 01:17:05,566
Yes, you do.

1305
01:17:05,662 --> 01:17:08,060
Or pee in their pants
when they see the ocean.

1306
01:17:08,156 --> 01:17:09,177
Yes, you do.

1307
01:17:09,211 --> 01:17:10,937
Or have perfect table manners.

1308
01:17:11,033 --> 01:17:13,334
You know,
I asked him about that.

1309
01:17:13,430 --> 01:17:15,123
He said good manners...

1310
01:17:15,157 --> 01:17:16,595
are just a way
of showing other people...

1311
01:17:16,629 --> 01:17:18,000
that we have respect for them.

1312
01:17:18,034 --> 01:17:21,199
I didn't know that. I thought
it was a way of acting superior.

1313
01:17:21,232 --> 01:17:22,637
Oh, and you know
what else he told me?

1314
01:17:22,733 --> 01:17:23,980
What?

1315
01:17:24,076 --> 01:17:26,665
He thinks I'm a gentleman,
and you're a lady.

1316
01:17:29,159 --> 01:17:31,940
Well, consider the source.

1317
01:17:32,707 --> 01:17:34,400
I don't even know
what a lady is.

1318
01:17:34,433 --> 01:17:37,310
I know. I thought a gentleman
was somebody that owned horses.

1319
01:17:37,344 --> 01:17:38,715
But it turns out...

1320
01:17:38,749 --> 01:17:41,147
the short, simple definition
of a lady or a gentleman...

1321
01:17:41,180 --> 01:17:42,873
is someone who always tries
to make sure...

1322
01:17:42,969 --> 01:17:44,503
that the people
around him or her...

1323
01:17:44,599 --> 01:17:46,517
are as comfortable as possible.

1324
01:17:47,764 --> 01:17:49,682
Where do you think
he got all that information?

1325
01:17:49,874 --> 01:17:51,504
Oh, from the oddest place.

1326
01:17:51,600 --> 01:17:53,293
His parents.

1327
01:17:53,326 --> 01:17:55,690
I don't think
I got that memo from mine.

1328
01:17:55,724 --> 01:17:58,889
And now, I suppose, he's trying
to make those dancers...

1329
01:17:58,922 --> 01:18:01,286
feel as comfortable as possible.

1330
01:18:02,725 --> 01:18:04,163
He didn't go home with them.

1331
01:18:08,863 --> 01:18:10,589
Well...

1332
01:18:10,685 --> 01:18:12,028
He went home with Sophie.

1333
01:18:17,590 --> 01:18:19,029
She swept him out of the room...

1334
01:18:19,124 --> 01:18:21,330
whispering little French
sweet-nothings into his ear.

1335
01:18:21,364 --> 01:18:23,694
No, not Sophie. Not Sophie.
Don't tell me that.

1336
01:18:23,728 --> 01:18:26,125
So whatcha gonna do, go to
her place and kick the door in?

1337
01:18:26,989 --> 01:18:28,811
You're goddamn right I am.

1338
01:18:30,537 --> 01:18:31,750
You coming?

1339
01:18:31,784 --> 01:18:33,702
You kidding? Sophie'd kill me.

1340
01:18:35,140 --> 01:18:36,195
Coward.

1341
01:18:36,291 --> 01:18:38,689
Gentleman coward.

1342
01:18:55,664 --> 01:18:59,308
So just scare me, why don't you,
you stupid son of a bitch!

1343
01:18:59,342 --> 01:19:00,809
I'm really sorry.

1344
01:19:00,843 --> 01:19:01,960
What are you doing here?

1345
01:19:01,993 --> 01:19:03,911
You're supposed to be
on San Vicente Boulevard...

1346
01:19:04,103 --> 01:19:07,460
having unsafe sex
with that slut Sophie.

1347
01:19:07,493 --> 01:19:09,378
I know, and I'm really sorry.

1348
01:19:09,570 --> 01:19:10,783
I'm limping!

1349
01:19:10,817 --> 01:19:12,255
How attractive is that?!

1350
01:19:12,351 --> 01:19:13,885
What if this is for life?

1351
01:19:15,804 --> 01:19:17,722
- I-I was just gonna say-
- I know.

1352
01:19:17,818 --> 01:19:20,119
- And then she-
- I know, I know.

1353
01:19:20,215 --> 01:19:22,133
- And I didn't mean to scare her.
- Of course you didn't.

1354
01:19:22,229 --> 01:19:24,195
Nothing I do with her
ever seems to be right.

1355
01:19:24,229 --> 01:19:26,161
Used to be right up here
with the coffee.

1356
01:19:26,195 --> 01:19:27,312
Why don't people
ever fucking...

1357
01:19:27,346 --> 01:19:28,911
That's because...

1358
01:19:28,944 --> 01:19:30,443
you're a nice boy...

1359
01:19:30,477 --> 01:19:32,970
but what Eve needs
is a nice man.

1360
01:19:33,066 --> 01:19:34,792
Understand, champ?

1361
01:19:34,826 --> 01:19:35,943
Good night.

1362
01:19:36,998 --> 01:19:38,149
Good night, Troy.

1363
01:19:39,300 --> 01:19:40,355
You still here?

1364
01:19:40,451 --> 01:19:42,369
- Let me help you.
- No. I can do it myself.

1365
01:19:42,561 --> 01:19:44,479
I know more about first aid than
you know about baseball cards.

1366
01:19:44,575 --> 01:19:46,397
Now give me the stuff
and sit down.

1367
01:19:47,068 --> 01:19:48,411
Sit!

1368
01:19:49,849 --> 01:19:51,254
Let me see.

1369
01:19:51,288 --> 01:19:52,439
Give me your knee.

1370
01:19:54,549 --> 01:19:55,891
These pants are ruined, right?

1371
01:19:55,925 --> 01:19:57,042
I'd say so.

1372
01:19:57,076 --> 01:19:58,193
There.

1373
01:20:04,043 --> 01:20:05,338
Steady.

1374
01:20:05,371 --> 01:20:06,625
Ouch!

1375
01:20:06,658 --> 01:20:07,846
There.

1376
01:20:07,879 --> 01:20:09,414
Don't be such a baby.

1377
01:20:09,447 --> 01:20:10,948
Oh, I'm the baby?

1378
01:20:20,347 --> 01:20:21,785
Did, um...

1379
01:20:23,512 --> 01:20:25,430
Did you go to Sophie's?

1380
01:20:26,676 --> 01:20:28,115
Of course.

1381
01:20:29,458 --> 01:20:30,608
And?

1382
01:20:31,855 --> 01:20:33,102
She was hospitable.

1383
01:20:33,136 --> 01:20:34,541
Hospitable?

1384
01:20:40,007 --> 01:20:41,700
But...

1385
01:20:41,733 --> 01:20:43,651
it just wasn't
where I wanted to be...

1386
01:20:43,939 --> 01:20:45,728
so...

1387
01:20:45,761 --> 01:20:47,967
I left as politely
as I could...

1388
01:20:48,063 --> 01:20:49,885
and I found a taxi...

1389
01:20:49,981 --> 01:20:51,516
and I told the driver
to bring me here...

1390
01:20:51,549 --> 01:20:53,434
instead of back to the hotel.

1391
01:20:56,694 --> 01:20:59,284
There's a song
that Mr. Como sings...

1392
01:20:59,317 --> 01:21:01,873
called
"On the Street Where You Live. "

1393
01:21:01,969 --> 01:21:03,120
Do you know it?

1394
01:21:04,463 --> 01:21:06,285
Sing it to me.

1395
01:21:11,559 --> 01:21:13,190
I have often walked

1396
01:21:13,223 --> 01:21:14,820
Down this street before

1397
01:21:15,875 --> 01:21:17,793
But the pavement always stayed

1398
01:21:17,827 --> 01:21:19,711
Beneath my feet before

1399
01:21:20,766 --> 01:21:22,684
All at once am I

1400
01:21:23,547 --> 01:21:26,103
Several stories high

1401
01:21:26,137 --> 01:21:28,918
Knowing I'm on the street

1402
01:21:28,952 --> 01:21:30,644
Where you live

1403
01:21:31,603 --> 01:21:34,480
It's a song
about a young man...

1404
01:21:34,514 --> 01:21:37,453
who's overjoyed...

1405
01:21:39,180 --> 01:21:41,481
just to be standing
in front of the house...

1406
01:21:42,440 --> 01:21:43,975
of the person...

1407
01:21:45,509 --> 01:21:46,948
that he loves.

1408
01:22:01,909 --> 01:22:03,443
You know, I-

1409
01:22:11,595 --> 01:22:14,185
Adam, I know this is stupid...

1410
01:22:15,239 --> 01:22:16,966
but humor me.

1411
01:22:20,514 --> 01:22:22,432
Have you ever had sex before?

1412
01:22:25,693 --> 01:22:26,652
No...

1413
01:22:28,378 --> 01:22:30,968
How is that possible?

1414
01:22:31,831 --> 01:22:33,749
You better sit back down.

1415
01:22:37,393 --> 01:22:40,270
In 1962, when the bomb
was dropped on Los Angeles...

1416
01:22:40,304 --> 01:22:42,764
my parents
were in our fallout shelter.

1417
01:22:42,797 --> 01:22:44,107
That's where I was born.

1418
01:22:45,353 --> 01:22:48,039
We only survived because
it's a huge shelter...

1419
01:22:48,072 --> 01:22:49,957
as far as fallout shelters go.

1420
01:22:50,916 --> 01:22:54,081
My father worked on it secretly
for years.

1421
01:22:54,114 --> 01:22:55,135
When he had to...

1422
01:22:55,231 --> 01:22:56,636
he used contractors...

1423
01:22:56,670 --> 01:22:58,075
but always from out of state...

1424
01:22:58,108 --> 01:22:59,835
and always for only
a portion of the job.

1425
01:22:59,931 --> 01:23:02,424
He told them it was a secret
government experiment...

1426
01:23:02,458 --> 01:23:03,767
done through Cal Tech.

1427
01:23:03,863 --> 01:23:05,268
Now, my dad's not a liar...

1428
01:23:05,301 --> 01:23:08,178
but in this case,
he felt he had no choice.

1429
01:23:08,212 --> 01:23:10,096
Of course,
it had to be kept a secret.

1430
01:23:10,288 --> 01:23:11,406
We only had enough supplies...

1431
01:23:11,439 --> 01:23:14,091
to last three people
for thirty-five years.

1432
01:23:14,124 --> 01:23:16,714
The really tricky part
was the air-vent system...

1433
01:23:16,810 --> 01:23:19,111
but we were able to cut into
the flood-control sewer.

1434
01:23:19,145 --> 01:23:21,029
We...

1435
01:23:25,633 --> 01:23:27,455
What I would like to do...

1436
01:23:27,551 --> 01:23:30,140
is to take you with me
into the fallout shelter.

1437
01:23:31,099 --> 01:23:32,922
We could live there
with my mom and dad.

1438
01:23:34,072 --> 01:23:36,470
My dad said that if I found
a healthy young girl...

1439
01:23:36,504 --> 01:23:39,347
that... that I should
bring her on down.

1440
01:23:39,381 --> 01:23:40,882
Why, Eve...

1441
01:23:42,800 --> 01:23:45,389
you look plenty healthy to me.

1442
01:23:53,733 --> 01:23:56,610
I think it's time to call a cab.

1443
01:23:58,528 --> 01:24:01,021
Oh. Of course.
You're absolutely right.

1444
01:24:01,117 --> 01:24:03,419
I really shouldn't be over here
at this late hour.

1445
01:24:12,050 --> 01:24:13,489
Good night, Adam.

1446
01:24:19,627 --> 01:24:20,873
Thank you.

1447
01:24:38,328 --> 01:24:39,671
God damn, Adam!

1448
01:24:39,704 --> 01:24:41,013
Wait a minute.

1449
01:24:42,644 --> 01:24:44,562
Oh, look, I'm sorry.

1450
01:24:44,753 --> 01:24:47,439
I know. I took the Lord's
name in vain again. I-

1451
01:24:47,472 --> 01:24:50,124
No. There's an adult bookstore
back there.

1452
01:24:50,158 --> 01:24:51,754
I'll be right back.

1453
01:25:05,277 --> 01:25:06,428
Give us a sign!

1454
01:25:06,461 --> 01:25:07,691
- Amen!
- Yes!

1455
01:25:07,724 --> 01:25:08,921
That's all we ask.

1456
01:25:09,017 --> 01:25:11,990
Just give us some sort of sign!

1457
01:25:12,661 --> 01:25:15,443
Just show us
that we're not alone!

1458
01:25:41,720 --> 01:25:43,351
This is, uh...

1459
01:25:43,447 --> 01:25:44,693
Hi, Adam. I'm Nina Aron.

1460
01:25:45,652 --> 01:25:47,570
- Hello. How do you do?
- Very well, thank you.

1461
01:25:47,666 --> 01:25:50,126
I'm with the County
Family Services Department.

1462
01:25:50,160 --> 01:25:53,708
Eve tells me you've been
living in a bomb shelter...

1463
01:25:53,742 --> 01:25:54,859
most of your life.

1464
01:25:56,202 --> 01:25:57,319
Fallout shelter.

1465
01:25:57,353 --> 01:25:59,271
There is a difference.

1466
01:25:59,462 --> 01:26:02,723
Adam, I'd like to introduce you
to my associate Mr. Brown.

1467
01:26:06,943 --> 01:26:08,636
We want you to come with us...

1468
01:26:08,669 --> 01:26:10,587
so we can talk some more
about your experiences.

1469
01:26:10,779 --> 01:26:11,834
Come where?

1470
01:26:11,930 --> 01:26:13,560
My office.

1471
01:26:13,656 --> 01:26:14,711
For how long?

1472
01:26:15,766 --> 01:26:17,459
Well, that depends.

1473
01:26:17,492 --> 01:26:19,794
Well, I thank you very much
for the invitation...

1474
01:26:19,890 --> 01:26:21,391
but I'm very busy today.

1475
01:26:21,424 --> 01:26:23,534
Perhaps
I could see you tomorrow.

1476
01:26:23,568 --> 01:26:25,644
I think you should go
with Dr. Aron.

1477
01:26:26,699 --> 01:26:28,234
I think it's the best thing.

1478
01:26:29,576 --> 01:26:32,166
I think it's best for you.
I- I do.

1479
01:26:37,632 --> 01:26:39,263
All right, Eve. If you say so.

1480
01:26:40,701 --> 01:26:41,756
I do.

1481
01:26:44,537 --> 01:26:46,359
Could I please just go home?

1482
01:26:46,455 --> 01:26:48,757
I was lost,
but I found home this morning.

1483
01:26:48,853 --> 01:26:51,025
And if I can just go home...

1484
01:26:51,059 --> 01:26:52,977
I promise I'll never bother
any of you ever again.

1485
01:26:54,703 --> 01:26:56,525
Let's go talk first.

1486
01:27:00,553 --> 01:27:01,512
Yes Ma'am.

1487
01:27:04,869 --> 01:27:05,828
Bye Adam.

1488
01:27:08,513 --> 01:27:09,472
Bye Troy.

1489
01:27:16,569 --> 01:27:18,008
You'll be hearing from me.

1490
01:27:22,803 --> 01:27:24,050
What?!

1491
01:27:24,145 --> 01:27:25,646
What was I supposed to do?

1492
01:27:25,680 --> 01:27:27,598
He told me he wanted
to take me underground.

1493
01:27:27,632 --> 01:27:28,941
That's like
"Silence of the Lambs. "

1494
01:27:28,974 --> 01:27:30,379
It's crazy!

1495
01:27:31,434 --> 01:27:33,832
Yeah. You did the right thing.

1496
01:27:39,586 --> 01:27:40,929
Where you going?

1497
01:27:42,367 --> 01:27:43,772
Oh, my God.

1498
01:27:43,806 --> 01:27:46,012
All right, don't worry.
He'll catch him.

1499
01:27:46,045 --> 01:27:47,512
Yes, this is Nina Aron.

1500
01:27:47,546 --> 01:27:49,944
I've got a runaway, and I'm
going to need police assistance.

1501
01:27:49,977 --> 01:27:52,549
- No, you cannot call them.
- Honey, I have to.

1502
01:27:52,583 --> 01:27:55,122
If a complaint is made
and the person resists-

1503
01:27:55,156 --> 01:27:56,465
No! I cannot have that!

1504
01:27:56,561 --> 01:28:00,205
They'll come with their cars
and their guns and-

1505
01:28:00,239 --> 01:28:01,227
All right. Calm down.

1506
01:28:01,260 --> 01:28:02,747
Now, that young man
needs help...

1507
01:28:02,780 --> 01:28:04,233
and you need protection
from him.

1508
01:28:04,267 --> 01:28:05,446
I was frightened!

1509
01:28:05,480 --> 01:28:08,453
I didn't know what to think,
but, you know...

1510
01:28:08,549 --> 01:28:09,892
I believe him.

1511
01:28:09,987 --> 01:28:11,330
I think he just-

1512
01:28:11,426 --> 01:28:14,015
I really think
he wants to go home-

1513
01:28:14,111 --> 01:28:15,550
wherever that might be.

1514
01:28:15,583 --> 01:28:16,955
Everybody has to calm down.

1515
01:28:16,988 --> 01:28:18,427
That's the most important thing.

1516
01:28:19,866 --> 01:28:21,160
You can have
all my baseball cards...

1517
01:28:21,194 --> 01:28:22,639
and don't forget
to pay my bills.

1518
01:28:22,673 --> 01:28:24,529
Young man, you stop right there!

1519
01:28:24,563 --> 01:28:26,387
Stop! Don't get in that truck!

1520
01:28:27,538 --> 01:28:28,785
You gotta stop trying
to drive this truck.

1521
01:28:30,223 --> 01:28:31,758
Thanks for always being happy.

1522
01:28:31,791 --> 01:28:33,676
- What?
- Gay.

1523
01:28:38,567 --> 01:28:41,252
That's my car,
you son of a bitch!

1524
01:28:41,923 --> 01:28:43,362
Where the hell have you been?

1525
01:28:43,396 --> 01:28:44,479
I fell down.

1526
01:28:44,513 --> 01:28:46,397
You guys get the license number
on that truck?

1527
01:28:46,431 --> 01:28:49,404
What are you asking them for?
They're as screwed up as he is!

1528
01:28:49,500 --> 01:28:51,706
Hey, everybody keep calm.
That's the important thing.

1529
01:28:51,739 --> 01:28:53,432
Who you talking to,
you stupid...

1530
01:29:03,789 --> 01:29:05,132
Mom, Dad...

1531
01:29:06,091 --> 01:29:07,530
I'm home.

1532
01:29:14,339 --> 01:29:16,545
I've got almost everything
we need.

1533
01:29:16,641 --> 01:29:18,079
And this nice man...

1534
01:29:18,113 --> 01:29:19,534
Archbishop Melker.

1535
01:29:19,568 --> 01:29:20,981
We've met previously.

1536
01:29:21,015 --> 01:29:22,361
...and his church group

1537
01:29:22,395 --> 01:29:23,737
have volunteered
to help bring it down...

1538
01:29:23,833 --> 01:29:25,176
but we've gotta hurry.

1539
01:29:25,272 --> 01:29:26,806
Are you in trouble, son?

1540
01:29:26,902 --> 01:29:28,724
I think I'm being chased
by a psychiatrist.

1541
01:29:28,820 --> 01:29:30,163
A psychiatrist?

1542
01:29:30,259 --> 01:29:31,280
It happens.

1543
01:29:31,314 --> 01:29:32,719
Oh, my goodness.

1544
01:29:32,752 --> 01:29:34,670
How bad is it up there?

1545
01:29:34,958 --> 01:29:36,876
Horrible.

1546
01:29:38,411 --> 01:29:40,617
There's something
on your forehead.

1547
01:29:41,576 --> 01:29:42,822
I know.

1548
01:30:18,594 --> 01:30:19,649
Is this it?

1549
01:30:23,581 --> 01:30:26,267
Well, what are we gonna do
with it?

1550
01:30:26,363 --> 01:30:27,672
Give it back to him.

1551
01:30:27,705 --> 01:30:29,336
And what if we can't find him?

1552
01:30:29,369 --> 01:30:30,774
We'll find him.

1553
01:30:30,808 --> 01:30:31,925
Well...

1554
01:30:54,558 --> 01:30:57,340
Eve, look what I found
in the suitcase.

1555
01:30:57,373 --> 01:30:58,842
It's stock certificates.

1556
01:30:58,876 --> 01:31:00,279
I mean, it's got, like-

1557
01:31:00,313 --> 01:31:03,957
It's got, like,
IBM and AT&T and Polaroid and...

1558
01:31:04,053 --> 01:31:05,745
"Ipana"?

1559
01:31:05,779 --> 01:31:07,664
I remember this brand.

1560
01:31:07,697 --> 01:31:09,615
I didn't know
they still made this.

1561
01:31:12,301 --> 01:31:14,506
Oh. Look at this.

1562
01:31:14,602 --> 01:31:17,000
It says "Trademark 1961."

1563
01:31:21,220 --> 01:31:23,521
Hurry, my friends!
We have no time to waste!

1564
01:31:23,555 --> 01:31:24,928
The son has spoken!

1565
01:31:24,962 --> 01:31:26,269
Let's step it up!

1566
01:31:26,302 --> 01:31:29,611
Leave my elevator alone

1567
01:31:29,645 --> 01:31:32,886
We're losing a ride!

1568
01:31:32,920 --> 01:31:34,838
Purchased in 1958 and '59...

1569
01:31:35,126 --> 01:31:37,331
ten thousand shares of each?

1570
01:31:37,427 --> 01:31:38,770
They'd be worth millions.

1571
01:31:38,804 --> 01:31:39,825
Hell, I don't know.

1572
01:31:39,921 --> 01:31:41,743
Millions upon millions...

1573
01:31:41,777 --> 01:31:43,086
Upon millions.

1574
01:31:44,045 --> 01:31:45,579
The stocks,
the baseball cards...

1575
01:31:45,613 --> 01:31:47,226
the clothes...

1576
01:31:47,259 --> 01:31:48,840
the toothpaste.

1577
01:31:49,895 --> 01:31:51,142
The guy's on the level.

1578
01:31:53,731 --> 01:31:56,033
Eve,
a man walks into your life...

1579
01:31:56,129 --> 01:31:58,013
who's the kindest,
most polite...

1580
01:31:58,047 --> 01:31:59,965
most incredibly rich guy
you've ever met.

1581
01:32:00,156 --> 01:32:01,691
And I have him committed.

1582
01:32:03,801 --> 01:32:05,239
Yes, you did.

1583
01:32:08,404 --> 01:32:10,097
Well...

1584
01:32:10,130 --> 01:32:12,049
at least I fell for him
before I found out he was rich.

1585
01:32:12,240 --> 01:32:13,391
That's new.

1586
01:32:15,981 --> 01:32:18,282
He said today
he knew where home was.

1587
01:32:18,378 --> 01:32:19,913
Where'd you guys go
this morning?

1588
01:32:21,063 --> 01:32:23,461
Just to pick up frozen poultry.

1589
01:32:23,495 --> 01:32:24,516
Then?

1590
01:32:24,612 --> 01:32:26,194
Then back to the house.

1591
01:32:26,228 --> 01:32:27,777
You didn't stop anywhere?

1592
01:32:30,654 --> 01:32:32,572
We did.
We stopped at a porn shop.

1593
01:32:33,723 --> 01:32:34,970
Yeah, we stopped
at this adult bookstore.

1594
01:32:35,065 --> 01:32:37,175
Adam was very excited to see it.

1595
01:32:37,209 --> 01:32:39,285
Adam was very excited
to see porn?

1596
01:32:41,587 --> 01:32:44,848
Eve, do you think
maybe his home is underneath...

1597
01:32:44,944 --> 01:32:46,574
a dirty book store
in the valley?

1598
01:32:52,232 --> 01:32:53,254
This is it?

1599
01:32:53,287 --> 01:32:55,109
Yeah. Yeah, this is the place.

1600
01:33:19,565 --> 01:33:21,449
Do you have a basement?

1601
01:33:21,483 --> 01:33:25,607
Believe me, all the really
good stuff is right up front.

1602
01:33:27,429 --> 01:33:29,155
Is there a back entrance
or something?

1603
01:33:29,189 --> 01:33:31,073
Are you kidding? Of course.

1604
01:33:31,169 --> 01:33:32,991
Nice kid. Nice kid.

1605
01:33:35,964 --> 01:33:38,712
What are we looking for?
This is ridiculous.

1606
01:33:38,746 --> 01:33:41,623
Why would they put a fallout
shelter under a porn shop?

1607
01:33:41,656 --> 01:33:42,965
None of this was here
back in '62.

1608
01:33:43,061 --> 01:33:45,459
Back then this was all,
like, cute little homes...

1609
01:33:45,492 --> 01:33:48,240
and, you know, fruit orchards.

1610
01:33:48,336 --> 01:33:50,254
We've come a long way,
haven't we?

1611
01:33:52,172 --> 01:33:53,673
I wanna go home.

1612
01:33:53,707 --> 01:33:55,625
Yeah. Maybe he'll call, huh?

1613
01:33:58,885 --> 01:34:00,324
This is Adam.

1614
01:34:01,571 --> 01:34:04,544
Look, I just wanted to thank you
for everything you did for me.

1615
01:34:04,640 --> 01:34:06,045
And...

1616
01:34:06,078 --> 01:34:07,708
I wanted to tell you that I...

1617
01:34:08,955 --> 01:34:10,360
that, uh...

1618
01:34:10,394 --> 01:34:13,750
that I-that I wish
so many good things for you.

1619
01:34:13,784 --> 01:34:17,107
I wish so hard that
all of your dreams come true.

1620
01:34:17,141 --> 01:34:18,512
And...

1621
01:34:18,546 --> 01:34:20,943
and that-
and that's all I...

1622
01:34:20,977 --> 01:34:22,382
And that's all.

1623
01:34:46,454 --> 01:34:48,851
Your ride stinks!

1624
01:34:53,071 --> 01:34:54,797
Stay outta here, you drunk!

1625
01:35:20,212 --> 01:35:22,034
Adam..?

1626
01:35:58,286 --> 01:36:00,204
How long you gonna set it for
this time?

1627
01:36:00,237 --> 01:36:02,026
I thought ten years.

1628
01:36:03,081 --> 01:36:04,486
Well, it's...

1629
01:36:04,519 --> 01:36:07,396
considerably shorter
than before, but...

1630
01:36:08,355 --> 01:36:10,753
I was wondering, Calvin,
I mean...

1631
01:36:10,787 --> 01:36:12,192
why set the locks at all?

1632
01:36:12,287 --> 01:36:13,918
I mean, the radiation's gone.

1633
01:36:14,014 --> 01:36:16,411
To keep what's up there
from getting down here.

1634
01:36:16,445 --> 01:36:18,809
It's not radiation
I'm worried about.

1635
01:36:30,893 --> 01:36:32,235
I would like for you to meet...

1636
01:36:32,269 --> 01:36:33,962
Miss Eve Vrustikov.

1637
01:36:38,853 --> 01:36:41,538
Adam's told me
such wonderful things about you.

1638
01:36:41,572 --> 01:36:43,135
Oh, honey...

1639
01:36:43,168 --> 01:36:44,765
excuse us, please.

1640
01:36:44,799 --> 01:36:46,717
We haven't entertained
a guest...

1641
01:36:46,750 --> 01:36:48,122
In quite some time.

1642
01:36:48,155 --> 01:36:51,128
Oh, Eve, what-
what can I offer you?

1643
01:36:51,224 --> 01:36:52,855
Mom, Eve and I have to go.

1644
01:36:52,888 --> 01:36:54,406
Oh, Adam, you just got here.

1645
01:36:54,439 --> 01:36:55,890
I can't explain right now...

1646
01:36:55,924 --> 01:36:57,698
but I want you to set the locks
for two months.

1647
01:36:57,731 --> 01:36:59,472
You've got more than enough
of everything...

1648
01:36:59,568 --> 01:37:01,390
and then we'll be right back
to get you.

1649
01:37:01,486 --> 01:37:02,925
But I don't understand.

1650
01:37:03,021 --> 01:37:04,843
And I'm asking you
to trust me...

1651
01:37:04,939 --> 01:37:06,377
without understanding why.

1652
01:37:06,411 --> 01:37:07,816
In that case, of course.

1653
01:37:07,849 --> 01:37:09,700
Oh, of course, son.

1654
01:37:09,734 --> 01:37:12,131
They really are
wonderful parents.

1655
01:37:13,474 --> 01:37:16,447
Oh, Adam, could you at least
stay for dinner?

1656
01:37:16,543 --> 01:37:18,077
Well... she...

1657
01:37:18,173 --> 01:37:19,228
You must.

1658
01:37:21,626 --> 01:37:23,160
Perfect.

1659
01:37:23,256 --> 01:37:25,174
Now tell me
if you heard this one.

1660
01:37:25,366 --> 01:37:27,284
Duck walks into a drugstore.

1661
01:37:27,476 --> 01:37:29,394
This gravy
is an old favorite of Calvin's.

1662
01:37:29,586 --> 01:37:32,655
Now, Eve,
the platter's down here.

1663
01:37:32,688 --> 01:37:34,477
Would you get that, honey?

1664
01:37:34,573 --> 01:37:37,546
The sperm swims toward the egg.

1665
01:37:38,505 --> 01:37:39,560
Into the egg.

1666
01:37:39,656 --> 01:37:41,862
- Why?
- Because it must.

1667
01:37:41,895 --> 01:37:43,075
But why?

1668
01:37:43,108 --> 01:37:45,698
Because it's out there.

1669
01:37:46,944 --> 01:37:50,301
I don't mean to be nosy,
but are you and Adam dating?

1670
01:37:50,397 --> 01:37:51,740
Yeah, we are.

1671
01:37:53,850 --> 01:37:55,768
And I'm from Pasadena.

1672
01:38:00,083 --> 01:38:02,481
And you thought
your parents were weird.

1673
01:38:04,591 --> 01:38:06,413
It's truly amazing
what you can get done...

1674
01:38:06,509 --> 01:38:07,722
when you have unlimited funds.

1675
01:38:07,756 --> 01:38:10,345
Do you know you can have
whole houses built...

1676
01:38:10,379 --> 01:38:12,229
in just a matter of months?

1677
01:38:12,263 --> 01:38:14,469
It's like the Garden of Eden,
don't you think?

1678
01:38:14,502 --> 01:38:16,003
All you have to say is this...

1679
01:38:16,099 --> 01:38:17,504
"I don't care what it costs. "

1680
01:38:17,538 --> 01:38:18,689
And then, of course,
you've got to really mean it...

1681
01:38:18,722 --> 01:38:20,319
which no one ever does.

1682
01:38:21,182 --> 01:38:23,580
It took a while to convince
Archbishop Melker...

1683
01:38:23,676 --> 01:38:25,018
that Adam wasn't God...

1684
01:38:25,114 --> 01:38:27,320
and he was pretty broken up
about it, too...

1685
01:38:27,354 --> 01:38:28,758
until I showed him my plans...

1686
01:38:28,854 --> 01:38:31,252
for Los Angeles' hottest
and most original night spot.

1687
01:38:31,286 --> 01:38:32,691
It's my goddamned malt shop.

1688
01:38:32,786 --> 01:38:35,088
Now let's just figure out
what's gonna happen here.

1689
01:38:35,122 --> 01:38:37,023
Now I want
the whole ownership...

1690
01:38:37,056 --> 01:38:39,237
of everything downstairs, right?

1691
01:38:39,271 --> 01:38:41,418
I want one of my guys
at the door.

1692
01:38:44,199 --> 01:38:46,117
Our idea
was to bring Adam's parents...

1693
01:38:46,213 --> 01:38:48,227
up to the surface very slowly...

1694
01:38:48,261 --> 01:38:50,207
make them very comfortable...

1695
01:38:50,241 --> 01:38:52,159
and then break
the bad news to them...

1696
01:38:52,255 --> 01:38:54,557
that there was
no nuclear holocaust.

1697
01:39:21,793 --> 01:39:23,711
Oh, son.

1698
01:39:28,890 --> 01:39:31,288
And here you go. Oh, careful.

1699
01:39:38,193 --> 01:39:39,919
It's hot.

1700
01:39:40,015 --> 01:39:41,933
Careful.

1701
01:39:44,427 --> 01:39:46,345
Have you ever in your life...

1702
01:39:46,536 --> 01:39:48,934
seen a son who did more
for his parents?

1703
01:39:49,893 --> 01:39:51,811
This is beautiful.

1704
01:39:53,250 --> 01:39:55,647
It's absolutely beautiful.

1705
01:39:55,681 --> 01:39:57,853
Well, uh...

1706
01:39:57,949 --> 01:39:59,771
we seem to have everything...

1707
01:39:59,867 --> 01:40:01,593
but, you know...

1708
01:40:02,744 --> 01:40:04,566
it's not much different...

1709
01:40:04,662 --> 01:40:06,005
from a fallout shelter.

1710
01:40:07,252 --> 01:40:08,657
No, Calvin.

1711
01:40:08,690 --> 01:40:09,841
This is different.

1712
01:40:09,937 --> 01:40:11,376
Believe me.

1713
01:40:14,828 --> 01:40:17,226
This is great...

1714
01:40:17,259 --> 01:40:18,664
son.

1715
01:40:21,254 --> 01:40:22,500
By the way...

1716
01:40:23,939 --> 01:40:25,857
Eve. Her last name.

1717
01:40:25,891 --> 01:40:27,262
Vrustikov.

1718
01:40:27,296 --> 01:40:28,830
That's not Russian, is it?

1719
01:40:28,926 --> 01:40:30,269
No, it's Ukrainian.

1720
01:40:30,364 --> 01:40:32,858
Her grandparents immigrated.

1721
01:40:36,023 --> 01:40:37,332
Dad, I don't know
how to tell you this...

1722
01:40:37,365 --> 01:40:40,818
and I was gonna wait
for a while to do it, but...

1723
01:40:43,311 --> 01:40:45,004
Dad, there was no bomb.

1724
01:40:45,038 --> 01:40:46,956
A plane crashed
in our backyard.

1725
01:40:47,148 --> 01:40:49,353
I looked it up
in old newspapers.

1726
01:40:50,312 --> 01:40:52,676
- You sure?
- Positive.

1727
01:40:52,710 --> 01:40:55,587
The Soviet Union collapsed
without a shot being fired.

1728
01:40:55,621 --> 01:40:57,218
The cold war's over.

1729
01:41:00,574 --> 01:41:03,355
That's what everyone believes.

1730
01:41:03,389 --> 01:41:04,760
Oh, yes, sir.

1731
01:41:04,794 --> 01:41:06,712
Mm-hmm. It's true.

1732
01:41:07,767 --> 01:41:10,165
What, the politburo...

1733
01:41:10,198 --> 01:41:11,315
one day said...

1734
01:41:12,370 --> 01:41:13,713
"we give up"?

1735
01:41:15,535 --> 01:41:16,974
Yes, just...

1736
01:41:17,070 --> 01:41:18,508
That's kinda how it went.

1737
01:41:18,542 --> 01:41:19,913
By gosh!

1738
01:41:19,947 --> 01:41:21,769
These commies are brilliant.

1739
01:41:21,865 --> 01:41:23,687
You have to hand it to them.

1740
01:41:23,783 --> 01:41:26,180
No, we didn't drop any bombs.

1741
01:41:26,276 --> 01:41:30,496
Oh, yeah. Our evil empire
has collapsed. Poor us.

1742
01:41:30,592 --> 01:41:32,285
I'll bet...

1743
01:41:32,318 --> 01:41:34,716
they even asked the West
for aid.

1744
01:41:34,749 --> 01:41:36,121
Right?

1745
01:41:36,154 --> 01:41:38,744
Um, I think they did.

1746
01:41:38,777 --> 01:41:40,295
Oh, boys.

1747
01:41:40,328 --> 01:41:41,790
Dinnertime!

1748
01:41:41,823 --> 01:41:43,251
Pot roast.

1749
01:41:48,142 --> 01:41:49,581
I tell ya.

1750
01:41:51,691 --> 01:41:53,225
Funny guy.

1751
01:41:54,184 --> 01:41:56,102
- Don't tell your mother.
- No.

1752
01:41:57,445 --> 01:42:00,082
Adam says that
this is simply how things work.

1753
01:42:00,116 --> 01:42:02,856
First the parents
take care of the children...

1754
01:42:02,890 --> 01:42:05,729
and then the children
take care of the parents.

1755
01:42:05,763 --> 01:42:08,570
He says, historically,
that's how it works.

1756
01:42:08,666 --> 01:42:10,584
Damn commies.

1757
01:42:14,324 --> 01:42:15,537
Whenever Adam gives me...

1758
01:42:15,571 --> 01:42:18,640
such obviously
incorrect information...

1759
01:42:18,673 --> 01:42:21,709
I just smile,
slap him on the knee...

1760
01:42:21,742 --> 01:42:22,860
and look out the window.

1761
01:42:23,627 --> 01:42:25,799
Why spoil his dreams?

1762
01:42:25,833 --> 01:42:28,134
They're such wonderful dreams.