1 00:02:28,074 --> 00:02:31,066 That's a big fella! Whoa! 2 00:02:58,204 --> 00:03:00,502 - Looks great. - Thank you. 3 00:03:00,573 --> 00:03:02,700 Happy vacation, honey. 4 00:03:03,909 --> 00:03:06,173 Manchurian tung oil! Where did you get this? 5 00:03:06,245 --> 00:03:08,543 Helen got it for me in Oslo. 6 00:03:08,614 --> 00:03:13,415 There's enough here to do the whole table and the bureau. 7 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,754 l wonder what this could be. 8 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,222 Oh, honey, you got it. Thank you. 9 00:03:19,291 --> 00:03:21,521 Enough to do the entire guest room. 10 00:03:21,594 --> 00:03:23,994 l'm so glad we're spending our vacation at home. 11 00:03:24,063 --> 00:03:26,725 - l'm gonna get started now. - Where are you going? 12 00:03:30,970 --> 00:03:34,030 - l'll get it. - Be my guest. 13 00:03:37,810 --> 00:03:40,074 - Maybe you should get it. - l'll go. 14 00:03:46,452 --> 00:03:48,283 Oh, no! 15 00:03:53,626 --> 00:03:55,059 Jane. 16 00:03:56,829 --> 00:03:59,059 lt's your turn, honey. 17 00:04:11,577 --> 00:04:13,738 - Good luck, honey. - Thanks. 18 00:04:15,948 --> 00:04:19,008 Hi, Barbara. l'm glad l caught you. Heard you were on vacation. 19 00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,608 That's right. Complete vacation. 20 00:04:20,686 --> 00:04:24,486 Today l'm $260,000! 21 00:04:24,557 --> 00:04:27,549 - lt's 6:45 in the morning. - This offer is real. 22 00:04:27,626 --> 00:04:31,062 From a man in New York City who only saw a photograph. 23 00:04:31,130 --> 00:04:33,860 Jane, don't send people photos of our house. 24 00:04:33,933 --> 00:04:38,233 He wants to bring the wife and family here for some peace and quiet. 25 00:04:38,304 --> 00:04:40,101 That's what we're looking for. 26 00:04:40,172 --> 00:04:44,768 This house is too big for you. lt ought to be for a couple with kids. 27 00:04:46,378 --> 00:04:50,075 l didn't mean anything. But this house is too big. 28 00:04:50,149 --> 00:04:54,643 - l'll see you in a few weeks. Okay? - Think about it. 29 00:05:06,732 --> 00:05:10,065 l was telling Barbara about this offer on the house and-- 30 00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:20,444 Come with me to the store. 31 00:05:20,512 --> 00:05:24,175 - What for? - l need a new brush for the tung oil. 32 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:28,448 - And l want to get a part for the model. - Just run in, okay? 33 00:05:46,672 --> 00:05:50,073 Two weeks at home. The perfect vacation. 34 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:54,135 Jane says we should sell the house to someone with a family. 35 00:05:54,213 --> 00:05:57,376 l don't think it's any of Jane's business. 36 00:05:57,449 --> 00:06:00,885 Besides, we could try again on this vacation. 37 00:06:00,953 --> 00:06:03,012 Really? What are you saying? 38 00:06:20,239 --> 00:06:22,935 - How are you doing, Ernie? - Hi, how are ya? 39 00:06:31,917 --> 00:06:33,350 Morning, Adam. 40 00:06:33,419 --> 00:06:36,047 - Need a haircut before your vacation? - No, thanks, Bill. 41 00:06:36,121 --> 00:06:37,782 - How's the model coming? - Great. 42 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:43,385 You know, Bozman built that foundation in 1835. His grandson came-- 43 00:06:52,438 --> 00:06:55,874 He's got hair down to his goddamn shoulders. 44 00:06:55,941 --> 00:06:59,104 He says to me, ''Just trim it a little.'' 45 00:06:59,178 --> 00:07:02,944 - l took scissors to him so fast-- - See you later. 46 00:07:16,862 --> 00:07:20,958 - This will be great. - Wouldn't you rather go to Jamaica? 47 00:07:21,033 --> 00:07:23,558 - No way. There's no place like home. - Look out for that-- 48 00:08:09,348 --> 00:08:11,782 Perfect start to our vacation. 49 00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:14,614 You'll feel better when you're dry. 50 00:08:16,422 --> 00:08:20,153 That fire wasn't burning when we left. 51 00:08:20,225 --> 00:08:23,922 - How's your arm? - l don't know. lt feels frozen. 52 00:08:40,946 --> 00:08:43,744 l'll make some coffee and you get wood for the fire. 53 00:08:43,816 --> 00:08:46,614 Maybe we should take things extra slow. 54 00:08:46,685 --> 00:08:50,052 Do you remember how we got back up here? 55 00:08:51,390 --> 00:08:55,349 l'm going back to the bridge and retrace our steps. 56 00:09:09,608 --> 00:09:11,405 - You saved my-- - Two hours! 57 00:09:11,477 --> 00:09:14,878 - You won't believe-- What? - That's how long you were gone. 58 00:09:16,148 --> 00:09:18,946 - What is going on? - l have to show you something. 59 00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,146 Look. 60 00:09:29,661 --> 00:09:31,595 There's that. 61 00:09:31,663 --> 00:09:34,257 And there's that. 62 00:09:40,939 --> 00:09:45,103 - ''Handbook for the Recently Diseased.'' - Deceased. 63 00:09:46,845 --> 00:09:48,335 Deceased. 64 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:52,144 l don't know where it came from. Look at the publisher. 65 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:59,421 ''Handbook for the Recently Deceased Press.'' 66 00:09:59,491 --> 00:10:03,723 You know what? l don't think we survived the crash. 67 00:10:07,366 --> 00:10:08,799 l hate this. 68 00:10:08,867 --> 00:10:11,893 Can you give me the basics? 69 00:10:11,970 --> 00:10:14,996 This book isn't arranged that way. What do you want to know? 70 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:18,509 Why did you disappear when you stepped off the porch? 71 00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:21,137 Are we halfway to heaven or to hell? 72 00:10:21,213 --> 00:10:23,204 How long will this last? 73 00:10:23,282 --> 00:10:25,580 l don't see anything about heaven or hell. 74 00:10:25,651 --> 00:10:28,620 The book reads like stereo instructions. Listen. 75 00:10:28,687 --> 00:10:30,678 ''Geographical and Temporal Perimeters. 76 00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:34,385 ''Functional perimeters vary from manifestation to manifestation.'' 77 00:10:35,961 --> 00:10:38,156 This is going to take some time. 78 00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:04,580 Damn sandworms. Thirteen percent, huh? 79 00:11:04,656 --> 00:11:08,148 l better find a job. Let's see. Business section. 80 00:11:14,066 --> 00:11:16,762 What do we got here? The Maitlands. 81 00:11:18,704 --> 00:11:22,606 Cute couple. Look nice and stupid, too. 82 00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:31,647 l wish l had a better view of the cemetery from here. 83 00:11:31,717 --> 00:11:34,709 l can't tell which is the best placement for us. 84 00:11:39,925 --> 00:11:41,756 Cabin fever? 85 00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,795 l can't clean properly. 86 00:11:43,862 --> 00:11:46,660 The vacuum's in the garage and we can't leave the house. 87 00:11:46,732 --> 00:11:51,396 Where are the other dead people? Why is it just you and me? 88 00:11:53,238 --> 00:11:55,729 Maybe this is heaven. 89 00:11:55,807 --> 00:11:57,900 ln heaven there wouldn't be dust on everything. 90 00:12:07,219 --> 00:12:08,481 lt's Jane. 91 00:12:12,324 --> 00:12:14,087 - What's she doing here? - l don't know. 92 00:12:14,159 --> 00:12:17,185 Jane, up here. Jane! 93 00:12:22,401 --> 00:12:25,529 She can't see you, right? 94 00:12:27,105 --> 00:12:30,438 ln the book, rule number 2: The living usually won't see the dead. 95 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:35,475 - Won't or can't? - lt just says ''won't.'' 96 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:39,483 God, this book is so stupid! l can't understand anything in it. 97 00:12:40,786 --> 00:12:42,947 Barb, honey... 98 00:12:43,021 --> 00:12:44,818 we're dead. 99 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:48,257 l don't think we have much to worry about anymore. 100 00:13:20,992 --> 00:13:25,622 This is great! Just what the doctor ordered. 101 00:13:30,202 --> 00:13:32,102 Sorry, ma'am. 102 00:13:33,805 --> 00:13:37,297 Delia Deetz, welcome home. 103 00:13:37,376 --> 00:13:39,105 Charles! 104 00:13:39,177 --> 00:13:44,240 lt's okay, there's no damage. See? Good, sturdy country craftsmanship. 105 00:13:44,316 --> 00:13:48,412 Look at that kitchen. You'll finally be able to cook a decent meal. 106 00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:53,621 Come have a look. 107 00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:06,163 A little gasoline. Blowtorch. No problem. 108 00:14:06,238 --> 00:14:08,798 Excuse me. Here we go. 109 00:14:19,518 --> 00:14:21,850 We'll have to rip out the plumbing. 110 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:25,185 Other than that, it's perfect. Just perfect. 111 00:14:26,191 --> 00:14:29,422 - What do you think, honey? - Delia hates it. 112 00:14:32,397 --> 00:14:34,024 l could live here. 113 00:14:34,099 --> 00:14:36,192 Careful! That's my sculpture. 114 00:14:36,268 --> 00:14:39,294 l don't mean ''my'' as in ''l bought it.'' l mean l made it. 115 00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,531 Put it on the table. 116 00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:55,652 Ten minutes. l'm already perfectly at ease. 117 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,153 lt's perfect. 118 00:14:57,222 --> 00:14:59,213 Help! 119 00:14:59,291 --> 00:15:01,156 lt's Otho. 120 00:15:01,226 --> 00:15:04,491 Otho, why don't you come in the front door? 121 00:15:04,563 --> 00:15:05,996 lt's bad luck. 122 00:15:06,064 --> 00:15:09,261 You left the city for me. l am so happy. 123 00:15:09,334 --> 00:15:11,495 Of course you are. 124 00:15:13,772 --> 00:15:15,933 Let's get one thing straight. 125 00:15:16,007 --> 00:15:20,000 We're here to enjoy the country setting, not to trash the place! 126 00:15:20,078 --> 00:15:22,706 Charles, you're lucky the yuppies are buying condos... 127 00:15:22,781 --> 00:15:27,115 so you can afford what l'm going to have to do to this place. 128 00:15:27,185 --> 00:15:31,622 l'm here to relax and clip coupons, and, damn it, l mean to do it. 129 00:15:31,690 --> 00:15:34,318 Then go do it quietly, dear, and let Otho and me think. 130 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:36,553 ls the rest of the house as bad as this? 131 00:15:36,628 --> 00:15:41,190 ls this a punishment? What are we going to do? 132 00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:44,825 We're not completely helpless. 133 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:48,771 l've been reading that book and there's a word for people in our situation. 134 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,104 Ghosts! 135 00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:54,710 Let's get this show on the road. 136 00:15:57,983 --> 00:16:00,349 We're dealing with negative entertainment potential. 137 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:03,285 There's absolutely no organic flow through. 138 00:16:03,355 --> 00:16:06,290 l noticed that, too. lt's like a giant ant farm. 139 00:16:09,394 --> 00:16:12,727 - What? - l thought l saw something. 140 00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:25,809 You read my mind. 141 00:16:25,877 --> 00:16:28,812 - l did? - Few clients are able to read my mind. 142 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,781 They're not open to the experience. 143 00:16:39,591 --> 00:16:41,491 My God! 144 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:45,963 We just have to pray the other closets are bigger than this one. 145 00:16:46,031 --> 00:16:48,090 Look! 146 00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:50,794 Ozzie and Harriet. 147 00:16:52,504 --> 00:16:54,301 - What happened to these people? - They died. 148 00:16:54,372 --> 00:16:56,738 Look, an indoor outhouse. 149 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:05,309 - Viridian. - Viridian. Why do l know that name? 150 00:17:05,383 --> 00:17:07,476 Blue-green! 151 00:17:07,552 --> 00:17:09,850 Hydrated chromic oxide. 152 00:17:09,921 --> 00:17:13,413 Remember, l'm schooled in chemistry. l was a hair analyst. 153 00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:16,255 - What? - Briefly. 154 00:17:21,066 --> 00:17:24,001 Deliver me from L.L. Bean. 155 00:17:25,604 --> 00:17:27,572 l know what you two are up to. 156 00:17:27,639 --> 00:17:30,733 - You're not going to get away with it. - This is not working out. 157 00:17:30,809 --> 00:17:34,643 l will not stop living art just because you need to relax. 158 00:17:35,914 --> 00:17:38,348 l will live with you in this hellhole. 159 00:17:38,416 --> 00:17:43,649 But l must express myself. lf l can't gut this house and make it my own... 160 00:17:43,722 --> 00:17:47,385 l will go insane and l will take you with me! 161 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:52,656 Yeah. Well, maybe the house could use a little remodeling. 162 00:17:52,731 --> 00:17:56,690 But why don't you just leave this room alone, okay? 163 00:18:04,309 --> 00:18:05,742 l'll get her. 164 00:18:05,810 --> 00:18:07,437 So? 165 00:18:07,512 --> 00:18:12,211 Cover the wallpaper, knock down a few walls and this place might be livable. 166 00:18:12,283 --> 00:18:15,081 - What's on the third floor? - Attic space. 167 00:18:15,153 --> 00:18:17,553 l forgot to lock the attic door. 168 00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:27,355 - Did you feel something? - When? 169 00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:39,634 - You don't have a key? - Maybe Charles does. 170 00:18:39,711 --> 00:18:44,011 l have a feeling there's something very interesting behind this door. 171 00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:47,950 Yeah, ghosts of the people who died in this house, and they want us out! 172 00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:50,214 Let's do them a favor. 173 00:19:06,838 --> 00:19:09,238 My God, that was close! 174 00:19:10,709 --> 00:19:13,143 l cannot watch this. 175 00:19:13,211 --> 00:19:16,237 What's the good of being a ghost if you can't frighten people away? 176 00:19:16,314 --> 00:19:18,942 - Honey? - No, l'm not putting up with this! 177 00:19:29,027 --> 00:19:31,154 - You don't know what's out there. - l don't care. 178 00:19:40,939 --> 00:19:43,840 - Barbara! - Adam! 179 00:19:45,376 --> 00:19:48,868 Adam, help. l'm getting all yellow! 180 00:20:28,887 --> 00:20:31,856 We're trapped in this house with those people. 181 00:20:36,895 --> 00:20:39,887 l can't believe we're eating Cantonese. ls there no Szechuan up here? 182 00:20:40,832 --> 00:20:44,461 l plan to have a stroke from the MSG in this food. 183 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:49,769 This is our first meal in this house, so let's try to make it a pleasant one. 184 00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,869 Don't bait your mother. 185 00:20:52,944 --> 00:20:55,879 When we get settled, we'll build you a darkroom in the basement. 186 00:20:56,948 --> 00:20:59,917 My whole life is a darkroom. 187 00:20:59,984 --> 00:21:03,545 One big dark room. 188 00:21:03,621 --> 00:21:08,456 You were miserable in New York City, and you'll be miserable in the sticks. 189 00:21:08,526 --> 00:21:10,426 At least someone's life hasn't been upheaved. 190 00:21:10,495 --> 00:21:15,091 l'm happy here. Those people in New York don't know what they're missing. 191 00:21:19,537 --> 00:21:22,301 We could become the summer art center of New York. 192 00:21:22,373 --> 00:21:25,240 l could start sculpting again. l'm only truly happy when l'm sculpting. 193 00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:29,474 That's a very good idea. That'll be very time-consuming. 194 00:21:29,547 --> 00:21:31,879 First the house. Otho and l have great plans. 195 00:21:31,950 --> 00:21:33,975 We should keep it the way it is. 196 00:21:34,052 --> 00:21:36,043 Good idea. 197 00:21:40,592 --> 00:21:43,993 The furniture truck is coming. We must decide what goes and what stays. 198 00:21:44,062 --> 00:21:46,553 Everything goes, along with what's in the attic. 199 00:22:04,682 --> 00:22:06,172 Careful. 200 00:22:06,251 --> 00:22:09,982 Tell me what you do and l'll tell you why my husband will fire you. 201 00:22:11,389 --> 00:22:14,449 - lsn't there an index? - No, nothing. 202 00:22:16,227 --> 00:22:17,956 What's this? 203 00:22:23,768 --> 00:22:26,566 Do you know where that's going? Did anyone tell you where-- 204 00:22:26,638 --> 00:22:29,539 Why are there only three sculptures? There were four sculptures. 205 00:22:29,607 --> 00:22:31,768 Where's the fourth sculpture? 206 00:22:31,843 --> 00:22:33,936 What are you doing? 207 00:22:39,017 --> 00:22:42,384 ''Betelgeuse, the bio-exorcist. Troubled by the living? 208 00:22:42,453 --> 00:22:44,978 ''ls death a problem and not the solution? Unhappy with eternity? 209 00:22:45,056 --> 00:22:48,514 ''Having difficulty adjusting? Call Betelgeuse.'' 210 00:22:51,596 --> 00:22:53,826 There's no number or instructions? 211 00:22:53,898 --> 00:22:57,197 Nothing. The bio-exorcist. l don't get it. 212 00:23:01,439 --> 00:23:03,031 Straight back. 213 00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:09,043 Why don't you take a break for half an hour? 214 00:23:29,067 --> 00:23:32,525 - Put that down! - What the hell are you doing? 215 00:23:32,603 --> 00:23:35,094 - Listen to me! - Jesus! 216 00:23:36,174 --> 00:23:39,575 Why are you doing this to me? This is my art and it is dangerous. 217 00:23:39,644 --> 00:23:41,703 You think l want to die like this? 218 00:24:07,171 --> 00:24:09,662 That little girl saw us. 219 00:24:09,741 --> 00:24:12,539 - Nobody can see us. - But she did. 220 00:24:14,712 --> 00:24:17,476 - What happened to the previous owners? - They drowned. 221 00:24:17,548 --> 00:24:20,517 Yes, they were family. l was devastated. 222 00:24:20,585 --> 00:24:22,985 - Here, take that. - ls this the key to the attic? 223 00:24:23,054 --> 00:24:27,650 That skeleton key will open any door. Give that to your father. 224 00:24:27,725 --> 00:24:31,354 You might mention l single-handedly decorated that house. 225 00:24:31,429 --> 00:24:35,661 lf he needs any advice in that arena have him come see me. 226 00:24:55,787 --> 00:24:57,448 Don't worry. l locked the door. 227 00:25:15,573 --> 00:25:19,873 Having trouble with the living? Tired of having your home violated? 228 00:25:19,944 --> 00:25:21,878 Want to get rid of them pesky living critters? 229 00:25:21,946 --> 00:25:25,939 Well, come on down and see me, the afterlife's leading bio-exorcist. 230 00:25:26,017 --> 00:25:29,953 Yes, sirree! l want to tell you, l'll do anything! 231 00:25:32,090 --> 00:25:36,322 l'll scare 'em real bad. l'll do anything to get your business. 232 00:25:36,394 --> 00:25:39,522 Hell! l'll possess myself if l gotta! 233 00:25:39,597 --> 00:25:43,055 Yo! l got demons runnin' all through me. 234 00:25:43,134 --> 00:25:45,125 Come on down and see it. 235 00:25:45,203 --> 00:25:48,400 lf you act now, you get a free demon possession with every exorcism. 236 00:25:48,473 --> 00:25:50,464 You can't beat that, can you? 237 00:25:50,541 --> 00:25:55,945 Bring the little partners. We've got plenty of snakes for them to play with. 238 00:25:56,013 --> 00:26:00,074 Say it once, say it twice, third time's the charm. And remember-- 239 00:26:00,151 --> 00:26:03,587 l'll eat anything you want me to eat Swallow anything you want me to swallow 240 00:26:03,654 --> 00:26:06,555 But come on down l'll chew on a dog 241 00:26:34,819 --> 00:26:39,916 We need some help. l read something in this book about emergencies. 242 00:26:39,991 --> 00:26:44,485 Here it is. ''ln case of emergency, draw a door.'' 243 00:26:48,132 --> 00:26:51,465 Draw a door? l don't know why we keep looking in that stupid book. 244 00:26:54,805 --> 00:26:57,501 Maybe we should try that Beetle guy. 245 00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:15,984 You didn't actually think that would work, did you? 246 00:27:18,663 --> 00:27:20,597 Knock 3 times. 247 00:28:22,727 --> 00:28:24,388 Birdies! 248 00:28:36,340 --> 00:28:39,639 - Can't you see l'm relaxing? - l want to tell you what l saw. 249 00:28:39,710 --> 00:28:43,476 What is the point of my coming here if you people won't let me relax? 250 00:28:43,547 --> 00:28:45,515 Pumpkin, sweetheart... 251 00:28:46,584 --> 00:28:48,552 go help your mother. 252 00:28:48,619 --> 00:28:51,349 Maybe you can relax in a haunted house, but l can't. 253 00:28:57,061 --> 00:28:58,892 Hmm, nice building. 254 00:28:58,963 --> 00:29:02,524 Bad roof. Good parking. 255 00:29:32,897 --> 00:29:35,422 - Adam? - This way, honey. 256 00:29:47,244 --> 00:29:49,269 You don't have an appointment. 257 00:29:49,347 --> 00:29:51,577 - We didn't know how to make one. - Appointment for what? 258 00:29:51,649 --> 00:29:53,640 - What do you want? - Help? 259 00:29:53,718 --> 00:29:57,711 Already? Just bit the big one two months ago and you want help. 260 00:29:57,788 --> 00:30:00,052 What does that have to do with anything? 261 00:30:00,124 --> 00:30:03,924 You'll use up all your help vouchers. D-90s. 262 00:30:03,994 --> 00:30:07,486 You spend 125 years on earth in that house... 263 00:30:07,565 --> 00:30:11,899 during which you get only 3 class-one D-90 intercessions with Juno. 264 00:30:11,969 --> 00:30:14,904 You probably haven't read through the manual completely yet. 265 00:30:14,972 --> 00:30:17,941 You'll have to wait if you don't have an appointment. 266 00:30:18,008 --> 00:30:22,945 - An appointment with whom? - For Juno, your caseworker. 267 00:30:25,683 --> 00:30:29,141 Number 54,000,601 . Ferndock! 268 00:31:34,852 --> 00:31:37,548 - Want a cigarette? - No, thank you. 269 00:31:38,656 --> 00:31:40,954 l'm trying to cut down myself. 270 00:31:58,142 --> 00:32:01,908 Adam, is this what happens when you die? 271 00:32:01,979 --> 00:32:04,243 This is what happens when you die. 272 00:32:04,315 --> 00:32:07,580 That is what happens when he dies. And that is what happens when they die. 273 00:32:07,651 --> 00:32:10,677 lt's all very personal. l'll tell you something. 274 00:32:10,754 --> 00:32:14,918 lf l knew then what l know now, l wouldn't have had my little accident. 275 00:32:20,631 --> 00:32:22,565 Maitland. Party of two. 276 00:32:22,633 --> 00:32:25,193 Take the handbook and go to the sixth door. 277 00:32:25,269 --> 00:32:28,363 Oh, we forgot our handbook. 278 00:32:31,809 --> 00:32:32,798 Come on. 279 00:32:38,616 --> 00:32:42,177 All new arrivals, report to waiting room number eight. 280 00:32:44,688 --> 00:32:48,454 Flight 409 is arriving at gate three. 281 00:32:48,526 --> 00:32:51,051 How do l look? There are no mirrors on this side. 282 00:32:51,128 --> 00:32:53,426 - You look fine. - Fine. 283 00:32:53,497 --> 00:32:56,091 Thanks. l've been feeling a little flat. 284 00:33:19,523 --> 00:33:22,686 125 years. l can't believe this. 285 00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,853 l can't believe they didn't tell us. 286 00:33:27,898 --> 00:33:30,389 Oh, Adam, what is this? 287 00:33:34,238 --> 00:33:37,071 That's the Lost Souls' Room. 288 00:33:37,141 --> 00:33:39,939 A room for ghosts that have been exorcised. 289 00:33:41,078 --> 00:33:42,636 Poor devils. 290 00:33:42,713 --> 00:33:45,978 That's death for the dead. 291 00:33:46,050 --> 00:33:48,280 lt's all in the handbook. 292 00:33:48,352 --> 00:33:49,944 Keep moving. 293 00:33:54,625 --> 00:33:56,286 Five. 294 00:33:57,361 --> 00:33:59,386 This is the sixth door. 295 00:34:06,236 --> 00:34:09,831 Boy, this place just gets weirder and weirder. 296 00:34:20,484 --> 00:34:22,782 We're home! 297 00:34:22,853 --> 00:34:26,414 Look at this place! Everything's different. 298 00:34:27,825 --> 00:34:30,487 All our furniture's gone. 299 00:34:30,561 --> 00:34:33,189 How long do you suppose we were waiting there? 300 00:34:33,263 --> 00:34:34,855 Three months. 301 00:34:35,933 --> 00:34:38,959 l'd almost given up on you. l was about to leave. 302 00:34:39,036 --> 00:34:41,561 l do have other clients. 303 00:34:41,639 --> 00:34:44,199 - Are you Juno, our caseworker? - Yes. 304 00:34:44,274 --> 00:34:47,573 l evaluate individual cases and determine... 305 00:34:47,645 --> 00:34:50,876 if help is needed, deserved and available. 306 00:34:50,948 --> 00:34:52,779 Are you available? 307 00:34:54,251 --> 00:34:57,448 - What's wrong? - We're very unhappy. 308 00:34:57,521 --> 00:34:59,955 What did you expect? You're dead! 309 00:35:00,024 --> 00:35:04,290 We want to get rid of the people here. We worked hard on this house. 310 00:35:04,361 --> 00:35:07,353 We probably wouldn't mind sharing the house with people who were-- 311 00:35:07,431 --> 00:35:09,899 - More like you used to be. - Yes. 312 00:35:09,967 --> 00:35:11,594 But these people! 313 00:35:13,671 --> 00:35:16,697 Things seem quiet here. 314 00:35:16,774 --> 00:35:20,266 You should thank God you didn't die in ltaly. 315 00:35:20,344 --> 00:35:21,834 The Deetzes! 316 00:35:21,912 --> 00:35:25,939 - Have you been studying the manual? - We tried. 317 00:35:26,016 --> 00:35:29,918 The intermediate interface chapter on haunting says it all. 318 00:35:29,987 --> 00:35:34,048 Get them out yourselves! lt's your house. 319 00:35:34,124 --> 00:35:36,888 Haunted houses aren't easy to come by. 320 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,394 - We don't quite get it. - l heard. 321 00:35:39,463 --> 00:35:41,397 Tore your faces off. 322 00:35:41,465 --> 00:35:45,595 lt's useless to pull off your heads in front of people who can't see you. 323 00:35:45,669 --> 00:35:48,137 - We should start simply? - Start simply. 324 00:35:48,205 --> 00:35:51,106 Do what you know. Use your talents. Practice. 325 00:35:52,910 --> 00:35:56,710 You should have been studying those lessons since day one. 326 00:35:58,816 --> 00:36:00,443 l've got to go. 327 00:36:00,517 --> 00:36:03,008 What about that guy in the flyer, Betel-- 328 00:36:04,321 --> 00:36:07,620 Don't even say his name. You don't want his help. 329 00:36:07,691 --> 00:36:09,659 We might. 330 00:36:09,727 --> 00:36:13,527 No, you don't. He does not work well with others. 331 00:36:14,598 --> 00:36:16,532 What do you mean? 332 00:36:20,471 --> 00:36:22,439 l didn't want to bring it up. 333 00:36:22,506 --> 00:36:27,603 But rather than have you make another mistake, l'll tell you. 334 00:36:27,678 --> 00:36:29,873 He was my assistant. 335 00:36:29,947 --> 00:36:33,110 But he was a troublemaker. He went out on his own... 336 00:36:33,183 --> 00:36:36,482 as a freelance bio-exorcist. 337 00:36:36,553 --> 00:36:40,512 Claimed he could get rid of the living. Got into more trouble. 338 00:36:44,495 --> 00:36:49,023 l believe he's been sleazing around your cemetery lately. 339 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:53,033 The only way he can be brought back... 340 00:36:53,103 --> 00:36:56,163 is by calling his name three times. 341 00:36:56,874 --> 00:36:59,308 But l strongly suggest... 342 00:36:59,376 --> 00:37:02,209 that you remove the Deetzes yourselves. 343 00:37:02,279 --> 00:37:04,304 How do we contact you... 344 00:37:04,381 --> 00:37:06,474 if we need you again? 345 00:37:16,226 --> 00:37:19,559 Oh, Adam, that guy's in our cemetery. 346 00:37:19,630 --> 00:37:23,259 She's right. We just keep this simple. We can do this. 347 00:37:47,324 --> 00:37:49,884 Hey, you, come here! 348 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:51,894 Hungry? 349 00:37:51,962 --> 00:37:54,123 Come on. Hey, come here. 350 00:37:55,299 --> 00:37:58,291 l got something good for you. Come on over. 351 00:37:58,368 --> 00:38:01,235 We'll have a little bite, something to nosh. 352 00:38:02,673 --> 00:38:05,403 - Come here! - Help me! 353 00:38:09,313 --> 00:38:13,613 Maxie, haven't l always made you money? That's the only real question. 354 00:38:13,684 --> 00:38:18,553 Nobody made me money like you. You were a demon until your nerves went. 355 00:38:18,622 --> 00:38:20,886 lt's just that... 356 00:38:20,958 --> 00:38:24,325 Winter River, Connecticut, is, if you'll forgive me, nowhere. 357 00:38:24,394 --> 00:38:27,557 Why would l want to invest that kind of money in an old building? 358 00:38:27,631 --> 00:38:31,294 - lt's way the hell up there! - lt's not a building. That's the beauty. 359 00:38:31,368 --> 00:38:35,361 The people don't know the value of their property. l can buy the whole town. 360 00:38:35,439 --> 00:38:38,704 Then we own a whole town full of nowhere. 361 00:38:38,775 --> 00:38:40,299 Come and see. 362 00:38:40,377 --> 00:38:42,743 And bring Sarah. 363 00:38:42,813 --> 00:38:46,476 All right, Charles. lt's just that l am kind of busy here. 364 00:38:46,550 --> 00:38:49,178 Just a minute. 365 00:38:49,253 --> 00:38:52,518 Listen. Enough of this talk about visiting, okay? l gotta go. 366 00:38:52,589 --> 00:38:55,217 You take it easy up there, big fellow. 367 00:38:55,292 --> 00:38:58,090 - Good-bye. - Max, wait, wait. 368 00:39:01,765 --> 00:39:03,232 Putz. 369 00:39:23,987 --> 00:39:28,287 Lydia, is Connecticut so boring? l had Maxie Dean on the phone. 370 00:39:28,358 --> 00:39:31,885 Dad's found a way of making money while l relax, so would you scram? 371 00:39:34,164 --> 00:39:38,191 Your mother will kill you when she sees you cut holes in her $300 sheets. 372 00:39:41,104 --> 00:39:44,631 This is so corny. ls this what we've been reduced to? Sheets? 373 00:39:44,708 --> 00:39:46,642 Think of them as death shrouds. 374 00:39:46,710 --> 00:39:49,144 And the moaning is important. Really moan! 375 00:40:07,597 --> 00:40:10,327 God, how can he stand that woman? 376 00:40:16,707 --> 00:40:20,768 Cut it out! l'm a child, for God's sakes. 377 00:40:28,218 --> 00:40:32,120 - l feel so stupid. - lt's not stupid. We're ghosts! 378 00:40:32,189 --> 00:40:35,420 Do you want to spend the next 125 years having breakfast with this woman? 379 00:40:35,492 --> 00:40:37,084 Moan louder. 380 00:40:45,335 --> 00:40:47,735 Oh, God! 381 00:40:54,678 --> 00:40:56,942 Sick. Sexual perversion. 382 00:40:57,014 --> 00:41:00,780 Do that weird sexual stuff in your own bedroom. 383 00:41:06,423 --> 00:41:08,687 Ah, no feet. 384 00:41:20,137 --> 00:41:22,833 Are you the guys hiding in the attic? 385 00:41:22,906 --> 00:41:25,875 We're ghosts! 386 00:41:25,942 --> 00:41:28,740 - What do you look like under there? - Aren't you scared? 387 00:41:28,812 --> 00:41:32,111 l'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? 388 00:41:32,182 --> 00:41:34,810 Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? 389 00:41:34,885 --> 00:41:37,251 Like all bloody veins and pus? 390 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,483 - Night of the what? - Living Dead. lt's a movie. 391 00:41:40,557 --> 00:41:43,685 lf l had seen a ghost at your age, l would have been scared out of my wits. 392 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:47,526 You're not gross. Why are you wearing sheets? 393 00:41:47,597 --> 00:41:49,224 We're practicing. 394 00:41:49,299 --> 00:41:53,065 - You can see us without the sheets? - Of course l can see you. 395 00:41:53,136 --> 00:41:55,366 How can you see us and nobody else can? 396 00:41:56,907 --> 00:42:00,502 l read through that Handbook for the Recently Deceased. 397 00:42:00,577 --> 00:42:05,981 lt says, ''Live people ignore the strange and unusual.'' 398 00:42:06,049 --> 00:42:10,281 l myself am strange and unusual. 399 00:42:10,353 --> 00:42:12,218 You look normal. 400 00:42:13,457 --> 00:42:15,687 - You read our book? - Yes. 401 00:42:15,759 --> 00:42:18,819 - You could follow it? - Yes. Why were you in Delia's bedroom? 402 00:42:18,895 --> 00:42:21,022 - Trying to scare your mother. - Stepmother. 403 00:42:21,598 --> 00:42:25,398 You can't scare her. She's sleeping with Prince Valium. 404 00:42:28,538 --> 00:42:29,971 You did this? 405 00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,600 You carved these houses and things? 406 00:42:34,077 --> 00:42:36,841 And this used to be your house. 407 00:42:36,913 --> 00:42:39,108 Why do you want to scare everybody? 408 00:42:39,182 --> 00:42:42,117 We wanted to frighten you so you would move out. 409 00:42:43,987 --> 00:42:46,046 You don't know the Deetzes. 410 00:42:46,123 --> 00:42:50,150 My father bought this place. He never walks away from equity. 411 00:42:50,227 --> 00:42:54,129 - Why don't you leave? - We haven't left since the funeral. 412 00:42:55,265 --> 00:42:57,028 Funeral! 413 00:42:57,100 --> 00:42:59,728 God! You guys really are dead. 414 00:43:02,305 --> 00:43:04,330 This is amazing. 415 00:43:05,909 --> 00:43:07,433 - l better go. - Wait. 416 00:43:07,511 --> 00:43:12,175 - Don't tell your parents we're here. - Unless it will frighten them away. 417 00:43:12,249 --> 00:43:14,615 Tell them we are horrible... 418 00:43:14,684 --> 00:43:17,016 desperate ghoulish creatures who will stop at nothing... 419 00:43:17,087 --> 00:43:19,385 to get our house back. 420 00:43:21,458 --> 00:43:25,690 What if this is a dream? Can you do any tricks to prove l'm not dreaming? 421 00:43:30,333 --> 00:43:34,667 lf you are real ghosts, you better get another routine because those sheets... 422 00:43:34,738 --> 00:43:36,706 they don't work. 423 00:43:46,082 --> 00:43:47,379 Ghosts. 424 00:43:47,450 --> 00:43:49,975 You're telling me we have ghosts in this house. 425 00:43:50,053 --> 00:43:52,613 Those pictures are of ghosts. 426 00:43:52,689 --> 00:43:54,486 Ghosts! 427 00:43:54,558 --> 00:43:58,324 Lydia, l am giving a dinner party tonight for seven people. 428 00:43:58,395 --> 00:44:01,956 My agent, Bernard, is bringing a woman who writes for Art in America. 429 00:44:02,032 --> 00:44:05,468 ln fact, no one dining here has not been in Vanity Fair except you. 430 00:44:06,436 --> 00:44:08,461 l told them you were too mean to be afraid. 431 00:44:08,538 --> 00:44:10,597 Don't you dare speak to others about me! 432 00:44:10,674 --> 00:44:14,735 Being embarrassed in front of the few people who will set foot here scares me. 433 00:44:14,811 --> 00:44:17,211 So let's play family just for tonight. 434 00:44:22,986 --> 00:44:25,181 Lydia's trying, but they don't believe her. 435 00:44:25,255 --> 00:44:27,587 She's got photos. 436 00:44:27,657 --> 00:44:30,820 Adam, you have a photo of Bigfoot. 437 00:44:30,894 --> 00:44:34,057 My photo of Bigfoot is a different story. 438 00:44:34,130 --> 00:44:38,658 We've got to get some help. We've got to contact Betelmeyer or something. 439 00:44:52,415 --> 00:44:53,939 Look. 440 00:44:57,854 --> 00:45:00,015 lt's him, Betelgeuse. 441 00:45:05,028 --> 00:45:07,053 Go ahead, Barbara, say it. 442 00:45:13,737 --> 00:45:15,329 What happened? 443 00:45:16,406 --> 00:45:18,670 l think we're in the model. 444 00:45:22,012 --> 00:45:23,946 Look at that. 445 00:45:46,703 --> 00:45:48,637 Where is he? What do we do? 446 00:45:52,842 --> 00:45:54,969 Looks like we dig. 447 00:46:25,141 --> 00:46:27,371 lt's about time! 448 00:46:35,251 --> 00:46:38,880 - l say we open it. - Maybe we should knock first. 449 00:46:56,439 --> 00:46:59,203 Adam. Babs. 450 00:47:05,915 --> 00:47:10,352 You can pick 'em! ls this a solid relationship? Do l have a shot? 451 00:47:10,420 --> 00:47:13,412 - Excuse me. - Sure. Am l overstepping my bounds? 452 00:47:13,490 --> 00:47:18,154 lt's beautiful! You picked me. You didn't have to, but you picked me. 453 00:47:18,228 --> 00:47:21,163 lt makes me want to kiss you guys! Come on, give me one. 454 00:47:21,231 --> 00:47:23,222 l beg your pardon! 455 00:47:23,299 --> 00:47:25,233 Let's get down to business. 456 00:47:25,301 --> 00:47:28,065 l've got a card here somewhere. Here. Who do l have to kill? 457 00:47:28,138 --> 00:47:31,369 - Hold that for me. - Whoa! 458 00:47:31,441 --> 00:47:33,841 - There you go. - You don't have to kill anybody! 459 00:47:33,910 --> 00:47:38,677 Possession! Learn to throw your voice. Fool your friends. Fun at parties. 460 00:47:38,748 --> 00:47:42,149 No. We just want to get some people out of our house. 461 00:47:42,218 --> 00:47:46,621 l understand. ln order to do that, l'll have to get to know you. 462 00:47:46,689 --> 00:47:49,351 We've got to get closer. Move in with you for a while. 463 00:47:49,426 --> 00:47:52,623 Get to be real pals. You know what l'm saying? 464 00:47:52,695 --> 00:47:54,629 Save that guy for later. 465 00:47:54,697 --> 00:47:57,029 My wife and l have some questions. 466 00:47:57,100 --> 00:47:59,295 Sure, go ahead. Shoot. 467 00:47:59,369 --> 00:48:01,428 What are your qualifications? 468 00:48:01,504 --> 00:48:05,440 Well, l attended Juilliard. l'm a graduate of Harvard Business School. 469 00:48:05,508 --> 00:48:09,069 l travel extensively. l lived through the Black Plague. 470 00:48:09,145 --> 00:48:12,046 l've seen The Exorcist about 167 times... 471 00:48:12,115 --> 00:48:15,846 and it keeps getting funnier every time l see it! 472 00:48:15,919 --> 00:48:18,581 Not to mention the fact that you're talking to a dead guy! 473 00:48:18,655 --> 00:48:21,818 Now what do you think? You think l'm qualified? 474 00:48:22,892 --> 00:48:24,826 Can you be scary? 475 00:48:24,894 --> 00:48:29,058 Oh! l know what you're asking me. Can l be scary? 476 00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:32,668 What do you think of this? 477 00:48:32,735 --> 00:48:35,203 You like it? 478 00:48:35,271 --> 00:48:38,798 - Will you excuse us, please? - Sure. Talk amongst yourselves. 479 00:48:38,875 --> 00:48:42,174 - Let's go. - l know, but he can be useful later. 480 00:48:42,245 --> 00:48:46,204 - We can work something ourselves. - Oh, yeah! 481 00:48:46,282 --> 00:48:48,079 - Excuse me! - What? 482 00:48:48,151 --> 00:48:50,085 We are leaving now. 483 00:48:50,153 --> 00:48:52,246 Don't go yet. 484 00:48:52,322 --> 00:48:57,225 Come on, we're simpatico. Look at us. We shop at the same store. 485 00:48:57,293 --> 00:48:59,227 Hey, hermano. 486 00:48:59,295 --> 00:49:01,320 Yeah, there you go. 487 00:49:02,899 --> 00:49:05,231 We're like peas in a pod. 488 00:49:05,301 --> 00:49:09,567 You want someone out of the house. l want to get someone out of your house. 489 00:49:09,639 --> 00:49:13,268 Look! You've been to Saturn. l've been to Saturn! 490 00:49:13,343 --> 00:49:15,811 Whoa. Sandworms. 491 00:49:15,879 --> 00:49:19,110 You hate 'em, right? l hate 'em myself. 492 00:49:19,182 --> 00:49:22,845 Kids, what do l have to do to strike a deal with you two? 493 00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:33,261 - Don't you hate it when that happens? - Let's go, Barbara! 494 00:49:33,329 --> 00:49:36,730 Come up for a while. We'll talk inside. Come on. 495 00:49:36,799 --> 00:49:39,063 - l'm not staying. - The place is a mess. 496 00:49:39,135 --> 00:49:43,504 We have to get out of here. Home! Home! Home! 497 00:49:44,541 --> 00:49:46,532 How did you do that? 498 00:49:46,609 --> 00:49:48,804 Hope you like ltalian. 499 00:49:48,878 --> 00:49:51,711 Where'd you go? Hey, where'd you go? 500 00:49:51,781 --> 00:49:54,272 Hey! You've got to work with me here. 501 00:49:54,350 --> 00:49:56,910 l'm just trying to cut a deal. What do you want me to do? 502 00:49:56,986 --> 00:49:58,749 Where are you? 503 00:49:58,821 --> 00:50:01,312 You bunch of losers! 504 00:50:01,391 --> 00:50:05,054 You're working with a professional here! 505 00:50:08,531 --> 00:50:10,761 Nice fucking model! 506 00:50:10,833 --> 00:50:13,427 We can do this stuff on our own. 507 00:50:13,503 --> 00:50:16,734 Besides, l'm not exposing that little girl to that pervert. 508 00:50:16,806 --> 00:50:19,798 We did call him, and he seemed awfully pissed off. 509 00:50:19,876 --> 00:50:25,212 l don't care. l've changed my mind. We can scare them off ourselves tonight. 510 00:50:25,281 --> 00:50:27,306 l have an idea. 511 00:50:33,423 --> 00:50:36,358 What you did with the place is wonderful. 512 00:50:36,426 --> 00:50:38,451 Not me. Them. 513 00:50:39,529 --> 00:50:41,554 So? 514 00:50:45,602 --> 00:50:47,627 Do you like them? 515 00:50:47,704 --> 00:50:51,936 l hope it wasn't yet another of your dreary suicide attempts. 516 00:50:52,008 --> 00:50:54,806 You know what they say about people who commit suicide. 517 00:50:54,877 --> 00:50:57,846 ln the afterlife, they become civil servants. 518 00:51:00,149 --> 00:51:03,118 Otho, l didn't realize you were into the supernatural. 519 00:51:03,186 --> 00:51:05,313 Of course! You remember. 520 00:51:05,388 --> 00:51:08,084 After my stint with the Living Theater... 521 00:51:08,157 --> 00:51:11,718 l was one of New York's leading paranormal researchers... 522 00:51:11,794 --> 00:51:13,762 until the bottom dropped out in '72. 523 00:51:13,830 --> 00:51:16,628 Paranormal? ls that what they're calling your kind these days? 524 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:22,328 Don't mind her. She's still upset that somebody dropped a house on her sister. 525 00:51:25,541 --> 00:51:28,237 Well, this looks really good. 526 00:51:29,512 --> 00:51:32,310 l saw some ghosts. 527 00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:41,115 - lt's a private joke Lydia and l share. - lt's not a joke. 528 00:51:41,190 --> 00:51:45,524 Yes, it is. Just today she tried to convince me this house is haunted. 529 00:51:47,497 --> 00:51:50,330 Kids! You know, l love them! 530 00:51:51,668 --> 00:51:55,365 - Ghosts? - ln designer sheets, no less. 531 00:51:55,438 --> 00:51:58,839 l'd like to propose a toast to our intrepid friends... 532 00:51:58,908 --> 00:52:02,002 who braved the expressway and two dozen tollbooths to be with us. 533 00:52:02,078 --> 00:52:04,103 May your buildings go condo. 534 00:52:05,782 --> 00:52:08,683 Lydia, favor us about your ghosts. 535 00:52:08,751 --> 00:52:11,276 No! l am sick of that subject. 536 00:52:11,354 --> 00:52:13,618 Delia, lighten up. 537 00:52:13,690 --> 00:52:16,215 l would rather talk about-- 538 00:52:31,274 --> 00:52:32,798 That's cute, Delia. 539 00:52:45,088 --> 00:52:48,148 Otho, are you doing this? 540 00:54:14,877 --> 00:54:16,811 We did it! 541 00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:19,677 Let's watch them scatter. 542 00:54:19,749 --> 00:54:23,412 Any minute now they'll come running out that door screaming. 543 00:54:26,656 --> 00:54:28,146 Any minute now. 544 00:54:35,364 --> 00:54:37,332 lt's me, Lydia. 545 00:54:40,336 --> 00:54:42,270 They want you to come downstairs. 546 00:54:42,338 --> 00:54:46,274 Delia says you can wear any sheets you want. 547 00:54:46,342 --> 00:54:50,369 lt was like being in an amusement park. Bam! 548 00:54:50,446 --> 00:54:54,382 - l didn't know l could do the calypso. - Who has more fun than us? 549 00:54:54,450 --> 00:54:57,419 We're dealing with Tracy and Hepburn. 550 00:54:57,486 --> 00:55:01,252 A very sophisticated pair. They even appear in sheets. 551 00:55:02,525 --> 00:55:05,722 Charles, why didn't you tell us about this before? 552 00:55:07,263 --> 00:55:11,962 We're not sure we want our secret out. Everyone will want them for parties. 553 00:55:12,034 --> 00:55:13,797 People will pay big money for this. 554 00:55:13,870 --> 00:55:17,897 The Enquirer's offering $50,000 for proof of life after death. 555 00:55:19,709 --> 00:55:22,735 This is it, Charles. You can get Maxie Dean up here now. 556 00:55:22,812 --> 00:55:26,748 - You think so? - Sarah loves the supernatural. 557 00:55:26,816 --> 00:55:29,011 She'll have him sprint up here in his helicopter... 558 00:55:29,085 --> 00:55:31,747 if you can produce ghosts for her. 559 00:55:35,258 --> 00:55:38,250 l should remind you that l'm Delia's agent. 560 00:55:38,327 --> 00:55:40,659 l have lost money on her work for years. 561 00:55:40,730 --> 00:55:43,324 lf anything happened here, l shall handle it. 562 00:55:43,399 --> 00:55:45,731 But not until l've seen real proof. 563 00:55:45,801 --> 00:55:49,999 - What about this table? - What do you call what just happened? 564 00:55:50,072 --> 00:55:51,835 What money? Don't you believe in my work? 565 00:55:52,441 --> 00:55:54,068 Here's Lydia. 566 00:55:55,611 --> 00:55:58,603 - Well? - They don't want to come down. 567 00:56:06,055 --> 00:56:07,488 Why not? 568 00:56:09,091 --> 00:56:13,221 l think they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared. 569 00:56:13,296 --> 00:56:17,528 They're dead. lt's a little late to be neurotic. 570 00:56:20,569 --> 00:56:22,002 All right. 571 00:56:27,677 --> 00:56:31,943 This was not a hallucination. This was real. 572 00:56:32,014 --> 00:56:37,384 We all experienced a superpowerful paranormal experience and it was real. 573 00:56:37,453 --> 00:56:41,719 Delia, you are a flake. You have always been a flake. 574 00:56:41,791 --> 00:56:46,956 lf you insist on frightening people, do it with your sculpture. 575 00:56:47,029 --> 00:56:48,724 Drive carefully! 576 00:56:48,798 --> 00:56:50,732 - l'm dead. - Where do they hide? 577 00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:53,928 - The attic. - The attic's locked. 578 00:56:54,003 --> 00:56:56,597 They're ghosts. They can do what they want. 579 00:56:56,672 --> 00:56:59,835 They do whatever they want. Take us up there right now. 580 00:57:06,282 --> 00:57:09,615 Fabulous! Otho Fenlock's ''Locked Door Ghosts!'' 581 00:57:09,685 --> 00:57:11,277 Probably committed suicide there. 582 00:57:11,354 --> 00:57:13,618 - l'm enchanted. - ln there? 583 00:57:13,689 --> 00:57:16,624 - They must live like animals. - lt's locked. How did they get in? 584 00:57:16,692 --> 00:57:19,786 Open this door, dead people, or we'll bust it down... 585 00:57:19,862 --> 00:57:22,387 and drag you out by the ropes you hanged yourself with! 586 00:57:22,465 --> 00:57:24,899 - They didn't commit suicide. - lt doesn't matter. 587 00:57:24,967 --> 00:57:28,596 l can teach you something here. Take the upper hand in all situations... 588 00:57:28,671 --> 00:57:31,572 or people, dead or alive, will walk all over you. 589 00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:33,471 Open up! 590 00:57:45,287 --> 00:57:46,948 Where are they? 591 00:57:47,023 --> 00:57:49,617 These ghosts are nice people. 592 00:57:49,692 --> 00:57:52,388 l think we scared them away, so let's leave them alone, all right? 593 00:57:53,429 --> 00:57:56,694 lt's the whole damn town. 594 00:57:56,766 --> 00:58:00,133 l have never been so embarrassed. 595 00:58:00,202 --> 00:58:02,136 Have they gone for good? 596 00:58:08,411 --> 00:58:10,072 Dad, don't. 597 00:58:10,146 --> 00:58:12,410 Mom, let's just go. 598 00:58:24,693 --> 00:58:27,184 No ghosts here. 599 00:58:29,065 --> 00:58:31,898 Come on! lf they are in here, l don't want to scare them away. 600 00:58:34,537 --> 00:58:37,938 We're leaving now. You can go about your business. 601 00:58:39,942 --> 00:58:42,775 - What are we doing? - Quick, quick, quick. 602 00:58:50,019 --> 00:58:53,147 Oh, boy! You guys are really spooksters, aren't you? 603 00:58:54,156 --> 00:58:57,785 Now, let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose. 604 00:59:00,429 --> 00:59:04,229 Otho, get Maxie on the phone. We've really got something here. 605 00:59:04,300 --> 00:59:08,361 We can turn this place into the world's leading supernatural research center. 606 00:59:08,437 --> 00:59:11,565 Amusement park. l'll do a presentation, Lydia will bring the ghosts. 607 00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:14,632 l can't bring the ghosts. They're not here. 608 00:59:14,710 --> 00:59:18,441 - Otho, can't you do something? - lf l'm properly motivated. 609 00:59:21,117 --> 00:59:23,881 What type of motivation do you require? 610 00:59:23,953 --> 00:59:27,821 Why don't you leave them alone? They didn't do anything to you. 611 01:00:15,271 --> 01:00:18,069 We've come for your daughter, Chuck. 612 01:00:18,908 --> 01:00:20,307 Stop! Stop! 613 01:00:32,121 --> 01:00:34,851 - Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse! - Oh, no! 614 01:00:36,892 --> 01:00:39,190 Why are you doing this? 615 01:00:40,563 --> 01:00:43,396 Leave me alone, all of you! 616 01:00:46,302 --> 01:00:46,335 Great choice! We spend the next century hanging out a window or doing tricks. 617 01:00:46,335 --> 01:00:51,773 Great choice! We spend the next century hanging out a window or doing tricks. 618 01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:54,536 Maybe they'll leave now. That snake was a nasty customer. 619 01:00:54,610 --> 01:00:56,737 - He could've hurt somebody. - But he didn't. 620 01:00:56,812 --> 01:00:59,280 We've got them where we want them. 621 01:01:03,352 --> 01:01:07,345 You losers! How dare you interrupt a professional while he's working! 622 01:01:07,423 --> 01:01:10,153 l'm not fond of Charles, but you could've killed him. 623 01:01:10,226 --> 01:01:13,423 l'm just doing my job! l thought we had a deal. 624 01:01:13,495 --> 01:01:15,986 lt's okay. You know why? 625 01:01:16,065 --> 01:01:20,559 l don't want to do business with you deadbeats anyway, thank you. 626 01:01:20,636 --> 01:01:24,504 The only one l think l can deal with is Edgar Allan Poe's daughter. 627 01:01:24,573 --> 01:01:26,939 - She understands me. - Leave her alone! 628 01:01:39,388 --> 01:01:42,221 Go ahead, make my millennium. 629 01:01:49,265 --> 01:01:53,224 l'm feeling a little anxious, if you know what l mean. 630 01:01:53,302 --> 01:01:55,770 lt's been about 600 years. 631 01:01:55,838 --> 01:01:59,604 l wonder where an everyday Joe like myself... 632 01:01:59,675 --> 01:02:01,768 can find a little action. 633 01:02:18,794 --> 01:02:20,887 Yeah. Here l come, baby. 634 01:02:25,234 --> 01:02:27,168 Hey, Adam, nice move! 635 01:02:28,671 --> 01:02:31,606 - Why did you build that? - l didn't. 636 01:02:41,350 --> 01:02:43,682 Will you guys shut up and leave me alone? 637 01:02:43,752 --> 01:02:46,084 l've got all this paperwork to do. 638 01:02:48,390 --> 01:02:50,449 You two, come in. Sit down. 639 01:02:50,526 --> 01:02:52,960 Get in here, both of you! 640 01:02:56,231 --> 01:03:00,691 The whorehouse was my idea. l want Betelgeuse out of the picture. 641 01:03:01,537 --> 01:03:04,131 You have really screwed up. 642 01:03:04,206 --> 01:03:07,198 l heard you allowed yourselves to be photographed. 643 01:03:07,276 --> 01:03:10,040 You let Betelgeuse out and didn't put him back. 644 01:03:10,112 --> 01:03:12,512 And you let Otho take the handbook! 645 01:03:12,581 --> 01:03:13,980 When? 646 01:03:15,050 --> 01:03:17,541 Never trust the living! 647 01:03:17,619 --> 01:03:20,315 We cannot have a routine haunting like yours... 648 01:03:20,389 --> 01:03:24,723 provide proof that there is existence beyond death. 649 01:03:24,793 --> 01:03:28,251 Coach, where's the men's room? 650 01:03:28,330 --> 01:03:30,958 l'm not your coach. He survived. 651 01:03:31,033 --> 01:03:33,126 Let me get something straight. 652 01:03:33,202 --> 01:03:36,729 - What's our curfew? - Get out of here! 653 01:03:36,805 --> 01:03:39,899 Go on, get downstairs! Men's room! 654 01:03:39,975 --> 01:03:42,569 Are you kidding? Can't you read signs? 655 01:03:42,644 --> 01:03:44,737 l'll be right back. 656 01:03:56,692 --> 01:03:59,126 Maybe this was a bad idea. 657 01:03:59,194 --> 01:04:01,219 l didn't say anything. 658 01:04:03,065 --> 01:04:06,034 Who are we kidding? You've never had a bad idea. 659 01:04:06,101 --> 01:04:07,534 Yeah? 660 01:04:10,005 --> 01:04:14,101 This could all work out. Home. 661 01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:20,908 l'm not sure this is the right environment for Lydia. 662 01:04:20,983 --> 01:04:23,543 - Snakes. Ghosts. - Shrimp. 663 01:04:24,653 --> 01:04:26,587 You family types. 664 01:04:26,655 --> 01:04:30,455 You've got other things to worry about. Maxie Dean is coming tonight. 665 01:04:30,526 --> 01:04:34,360 You have to sell these ghosts. l can only do so much. 666 01:04:34,430 --> 01:04:37,695 What are you going to do? Viciously rearrange their environment? 667 01:04:37,766 --> 01:04:41,930 l know as much about the supernatural as l do about interior design. 668 01:04:49,845 --> 01:04:53,212 l am alone. 669 01:05:03,225 --> 01:05:05,318 l am... 670 01:05:05,394 --> 01:05:08,329 utterly alone. 671 01:05:09,865 --> 01:05:14,268 By the time you read this... 672 01:05:15,471 --> 01:05:18,497 l will be gone... 673 01:05:20,242 --> 01:05:23,006 having jumped-- 674 01:05:24,279 --> 01:05:28,807 Having plummeted off... 675 01:05:29,952 --> 01:05:34,412 the Winter River Bridge. 676 01:05:34,490 --> 01:05:37,391 l don't care what it takes. 677 01:05:37,459 --> 01:05:40,087 You get the Deetzes out of there now! 678 01:05:41,430 --> 01:05:45,696 Wait a minute. What are you going to do? 679 01:05:47,402 --> 01:05:49,336 To scare them. 680 01:05:49,404 --> 01:05:52,100 l want to make sure it's not some silly parlor trick. 681 01:05:53,108 --> 01:05:55,633 l'll go first. 682 01:06:16,865 --> 01:06:20,426 Not bad. Not bad. Now you. 683 01:06:21,637 --> 01:06:23,070 Go ahead! 684 01:06:37,886 --> 01:06:40,081 You look great. 685 01:06:40,155 --> 01:06:45,354 Go clean house and don't forget the photographs and the handbook. 686 01:06:53,168 --> 01:06:56,137 - Coach? - What? 687 01:06:56,204 --> 01:06:58,536 l don't think we survived that crash. 688 01:06:58,607 --> 01:07:00,507 How did you guess? 689 01:07:03,912 --> 01:07:05,903 Mr. and Mrs. Maitland? 690 01:07:10,586 --> 01:07:12,019 Hello! 691 01:07:12,988 --> 01:07:15,479 - How are you? - Dead. 692 01:07:16,325 --> 01:07:18,691 Dead, dead, deadski. 693 01:07:19,795 --> 01:07:21,695 Of course they're dead. They're ghosts. 694 01:07:21,763 --> 01:07:26,257 No, l mean they're gone. Split. Out of here. Afterlife kids. 695 01:07:26,335 --> 01:07:29,793 - Deceased. - Are you a ghost, too? 696 01:07:30,772 --> 01:07:33,366 l'm the ghost with the most, babe. 697 01:07:35,677 --> 01:07:39,078 You look like somebody l can relate to. 698 01:07:40,215 --> 01:07:43,480 Maybe you could help me get out of here. 699 01:07:43,552 --> 01:07:46,146 l gotta tell you, this death thing-- 700 01:07:49,358 --> 01:07:50,791 lt's creepy. 701 01:07:50,859 --> 01:07:52,952 Here's my problem. 702 01:07:53,028 --> 01:07:56,589 l've got friends on the outside l said l'd meet. 703 01:07:56,665 --> 01:07:58,963 l have to be there in person. 704 01:07:59,034 --> 01:08:01,127 So could you help me get out of here? 705 01:08:02,471 --> 01:08:06,271 - l want to get in. - Why? 706 01:08:07,976 --> 01:08:11,776 You've probably got your reason, but l can't do anything from here. 707 01:08:11,847 --> 01:08:16,716 lf you could get me out, over there, maybe we could talk. 708 01:08:16,785 --> 01:08:20,312 But to do that you've got to say my name three times. 709 01:08:20,389 --> 01:08:22,550 What's your name? 710 01:08:22,624 --> 01:08:25,821 - l can't tell you. - Why not? 711 01:08:25,894 --> 01:08:30,524 lf l tell you, you'll tell your friends, they'll call me all the time. 712 01:08:30,599 --> 01:08:34,695 l've got to go to shopping centers for openings, sign autographs, that shit. 713 01:08:34,770 --> 01:08:38,262 lt makes my life hell, okay? A living hell. 714 01:08:38,340 --> 01:08:42,834 But maybe if you have a pen-- l know! Do you play charades? 715 01:08:42,911 --> 01:08:44,811 - Yeah. - Good. 716 01:08:44,880 --> 01:08:46,814 Here we go. Ready? 717 01:08:46,882 --> 01:08:48,873 Two words. 718 01:08:48,950 --> 01:08:50,383 Right! 719 01:08:51,687 --> 01:08:54,451 First word, two syllables. 720 01:08:54,523 --> 01:08:55,956 Look. 721 01:08:56,725 --> 01:08:58,886 Turn around. 722 01:08:59,928 --> 01:09:01,862 l don't know what your signal means. 723 01:09:01,930 --> 01:09:04,228 Look behind you! 724 01:09:04,299 --> 01:09:06,392 Hi. How are you? 725 01:09:06,468 --> 01:09:07,901 Beetle. 726 01:09:07,969 --> 01:09:09,960 Got it. Now, two. 727 01:09:12,908 --> 01:09:15,536 Breakfast? Orange? Orange beetle? 728 01:09:15,610 --> 01:09:17,578 Beetle fruit? 729 01:09:17,646 --> 01:09:19,546 Beetle breakfast? 730 01:09:20,382 --> 01:09:21,815 Beetle drink? 731 01:09:24,653 --> 01:09:26,177 Beetle juice? 732 01:09:26,254 --> 01:09:28,848 - That's it! - Your name's Beetlejuice? 733 01:09:28,924 --> 01:09:32,519 You said it twice. Just say it once more. Come on. 734 01:09:32,594 --> 01:09:36,257 lt was you, wasn't it? The snake. 735 01:09:36,331 --> 01:09:40,324 You kids and your imagination! Just say it! 736 01:09:40,402 --> 01:09:44,429 No. l want to talk to Barbara. 737 01:09:44,506 --> 01:09:48,067 You don't need to talk to Barbara! Just say it! 738 01:09:51,680 --> 01:09:55,207 Adam, l can't go through with it. l like that little girl. 739 01:09:55,283 --> 01:09:58,912 But it's too late. We have to go through with this. 740 01:09:58,987 --> 01:10:03,083 No, we don't. Can't we rebel? 741 01:10:08,497 --> 01:10:10,727 l want to be with Lydia. 742 01:10:21,710 --> 01:10:24,235 Come on! Just say it! 743 01:10:25,814 --> 01:10:27,441 No, don't say it! 744 01:10:28,650 --> 01:10:30,481 Say it! 745 01:10:30,552 --> 01:10:33,544 lt's okay. lt's us. What's going on? 746 01:10:34,689 --> 01:10:36,418 Beetle-- 747 01:10:36,491 --> 01:10:40,052 He said if l let him out he would take me to the other side to find you. 748 01:10:40,128 --> 01:10:43,427 No, Lydia, we're dead. 749 01:10:44,599 --> 01:10:47,363 l want to be dead, too. 750 01:10:55,243 --> 01:10:58,144 Being dead doesn't make things any easier. 751 01:10:58,213 --> 01:11:03,150 Listen to her on this. This is something we know a lot about. 752 01:11:03,218 --> 01:11:07,552 And you can visit us anytime you want. 753 01:11:07,622 --> 01:11:11,388 l have a feeling things are going to be better from now on. 754 01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:14,590 What do you mean, better? 755 01:11:14,663 --> 01:11:19,225 We've decided we're going to invite you and your family to stay. 756 01:11:19,935 --> 01:11:21,368 That's right. 757 01:11:26,842 --> 01:11:30,175 - Can't we bring Maxie up here? - You've got a stake in this, too. 758 01:11:30,245 --> 01:11:34,978 This is a presentation. lt requires a sense of occasion, a sense of style. 759 01:11:35,050 --> 01:11:37,678 - lt's big. How will we get it out? - lt's sectional. 760 01:11:37,752 --> 01:11:39,617 - Wait, there are plugs. - Careful! 761 01:11:39,688 --> 01:11:41,121 Okay, go. 762 01:11:42,858 --> 01:11:45,986 - What's going on? - l don't know. l'll find out. 763 01:11:46,061 --> 01:11:47,494 Be careful. 764 01:11:48,864 --> 01:11:51,332 Ed Cornwell will head the wax museum... 765 01:11:51,399 --> 01:11:55,495 dedicated to 50 great moments of the paranormal in Thanksgiving Park. 766 01:11:55,570 --> 01:11:58,334 You must remember Ed. 767 01:11:58,406 --> 01:12:02,172 He's the genius who gave us the talking Marcel Marceau statue. 768 01:12:03,879 --> 01:12:08,612 And D-Con is on its knees to sponsor the insect zoo... 769 01:12:08,683 --> 01:12:11,243 in the old hardware store. 770 01:12:11,319 --> 01:12:12,752 We can't lose! 771 01:12:18,994 --> 01:12:23,431 Lydia, you decided to join us. l just finished the initial presentation. 772 01:12:23,498 --> 01:12:26,490 Now it's time to have a stretch... 773 01:12:26,568 --> 01:12:30,504 and to invite our friends to meet your friends. 774 01:12:30,572 --> 01:12:32,563 Are they here yet? 775 01:12:32,641 --> 01:12:36,509 Charles, we're here to see some ghosts. 776 01:12:37,545 --> 01:12:39,843 They're not here...anymore. 777 01:12:44,119 --> 01:12:46,587 Every time she says that, the paint peels... 778 01:12:46,655 --> 01:12:49,886 and some wild creature tries to kill us. 779 01:12:51,226 --> 01:12:53,558 But we have pictures, Lydia. 780 01:12:53,628 --> 01:12:56,620 Really. They said they'd come back and we could all live here... 781 01:12:56,698 --> 01:13:01,795 if you agreed not to tease them or make them do stupid tricks. 782 01:13:01,870 --> 01:13:04,737 She has a tendency to overreact. 783 01:13:04,806 --> 01:13:09,903 Don't worry, we're not relying on her. We have Otho. 784 01:13:11,546 --> 01:13:14,982 - Are they still here? - Otho, are they still here? 785 01:13:15,050 --> 01:13:18,850 They're still here. They're just hiding out. 786 01:13:18,920 --> 01:13:21,514 Probably feel guilty about what they did to me. 787 01:13:21,589 --> 01:13:23,523 They're sorry they didn't kill you. 788 01:13:23,591 --> 01:13:28,290 - l just want to see them. - Otho, can you do it? 789 01:13:29,731 --> 01:13:33,599 lt'll be tricky, but l think l can handle it. 790 01:13:37,806 --> 01:13:41,242 What am l worried about? You can't even change a tire. 791 01:13:44,179 --> 01:13:46,943 l'll be needing something personal of theirs. 792 01:13:47,015 --> 01:13:49,108 You'll have to go to Goodwill. 793 01:13:52,087 --> 01:13:53,520 Excuse me. 794 01:14:05,934 --> 01:14:08,198 The wedding clothes. 795 01:14:09,471 --> 01:14:11,701 The words 796 01:14:19,114 --> 01:14:21,173 ''Hands vermilion 797 01:14:21,249 --> 01:14:23,615 ''Start of five 798 01:14:23,685 --> 01:14:25,118 ''Bright cotillion 799 01:14:26,221 --> 01:14:28,621 ''Raven's dive 800 01:14:28,690 --> 01:14:30,317 ''Nightshade's promise 801 01:14:31,059 --> 01:14:33,721 ''Spirits strive 802 01:14:33,795 --> 01:14:39,324 ''To the living, let now the dead come alive'' 803 01:14:51,946 --> 01:14:53,743 Barbara? 804 01:14:55,483 --> 01:14:57,747 ''As sudden thunder pierces night 805 01:14:59,054 --> 01:15:01,818 ''As magic wonder mad affright 806 01:15:01,890 --> 01:15:05,553 ''Rives asunder man's delight 807 01:15:05,627 --> 01:15:08,596 ''Our ghost, our corpse 808 01:15:08,663 --> 01:15:11,860 ''And we rise to be'' 809 01:15:30,118 --> 01:15:31,949 Stop it! 810 01:15:34,155 --> 01:15:37,750 ''As flies the lizard Serpent fell 811 01:15:37,826 --> 01:15:41,227 ''As goblin vizard at the spell 812 01:15:41,296 --> 01:15:45,426 ''The buried, dead and slain rise again'' 813 01:16:31,312 --> 01:16:36,147 - What's happening to them? - l don't know. 814 01:16:37,519 --> 01:16:39,077 They're dying! 815 01:16:39,154 --> 01:16:41,679 They're already dead. They can't feel a thing. 816 01:16:42,724 --> 01:16:45,818 - That's not true! Look at them! - That's enough. 817 01:16:45,894 --> 01:16:47,828 Can you stop this? 818 01:16:49,664 --> 01:16:52,656 lt's too late, Charles. l'm sorry. 819 01:17:00,141 --> 01:17:03,872 Where are you? Help them, please. 820 01:17:06,814 --> 01:17:10,147 Sure, l can help them. But you've got to help me. 821 01:17:10,218 --> 01:17:13,210 - What? - l'm what you call an illegal alien. 822 01:17:13,288 --> 01:17:17,816 l want out for good. To do that, l've gotta get married. 823 01:17:18,893 --> 01:17:22,954 These aren't my rules. Come to think of it, l don't have any rules. 824 01:17:23,865 --> 01:17:25,799 Come on. 825 01:17:25,867 --> 01:17:28,893 Think of it as a marriage of inconvenience. We both get something. 826 01:17:28,970 --> 01:17:33,202 l get out, you get the most eligible bachelor since Valentino. 827 01:17:33,274 --> 01:17:36,641 - We're even. - Okay, just help them. 828 01:17:39,113 --> 01:17:40,546 Sure. 829 01:17:50,792 --> 01:17:52,885 Beetlejuice. 830 01:18:00,635 --> 01:18:02,728 lt's show time. 831 01:18:19,854 --> 01:18:21,788 Attention, K-Mart shoppers. 832 01:18:32,900 --> 01:18:37,633 l'm back. l feel real good about myself. You know what l mean? So... 833 01:18:37,705 --> 01:18:39,468 without further delay... 834 01:18:40,942 --> 01:18:42,933 welcome to Winter River! 835 01:18:43,011 --> 01:18:45,241 Museum of Natural Greed! 836 01:18:45,313 --> 01:18:47,474 A monument to the bored businessman. 837 01:18:47,548 --> 01:18:51,609 Come a little closer. Step right up! Test your strength. 838 01:19:13,474 --> 01:19:14,907 Thank you. 839 01:19:14,976 --> 01:19:16,910 Thank you! Whew! 840 01:19:18,079 --> 01:19:22,106 That is why l won't do two shows a night anymore, babe. 841 01:19:22,183 --> 01:19:23,810 l won't do 'em. 842 01:19:23,885 --> 01:19:27,912 Well, what have we got here tonight, kids? 843 01:19:29,791 --> 01:19:32,021 We've got the Maitlands. 844 01:19:32,093 --> 01:19:34,755 l think they've had enough exercise for the night. 845 01:19:42,003 --> 01:19:45,029 Not so fast, round boy. We're gonna have some laughs. 846 01:20:05,593 --> 01:20:07,527 Mom, Dad. 847 01:20:10,064 --> 01:20:12,931 l just want you to know you're welcome in our house... 848 01:20:13,000 --> 01:20:15,332 anytime you want to come over. 849 01:20:15,403 --> 01:20:19,339 ln the meantime, the dowry's on me, Dad. 850 01:20:22,543 --> 01:20:27,446 The Maitlands are taken care of. Everything seems to be back to normal. 851 01:20:32,153 --> 01:20:33,586 Shall we? 852 01:20:43,865 --> 01:20:46,265 Called the caterer. He's got a great band. 853 01:20:46,334 --> 01:20:49,735 We're gonna need witnesses. Would you? 854 01:21:39,554 --> 01:21:41,749 Let's get on with the ceremony. 855 01:21:41,823 --> 01:21:43,450 Do you, Betel-- 856 01:21:45,026 --> 01:21:49,122 - Nobody says the ''B'' word. - Do you take this woman... 857 01:21:49,197 --> 01:21:52,098 to be your wedded wife? 858 01:21:52,166 --> 01:21:54,794 l don't know. lt's a big decision. 859 01:21:54,869 --> 01:21:58,737 l always said if l ever did it, l was gonna do it only once. 860 01:21:59,707 --> 01:22:01,140 Sure. Go ahead. 861 01:22:01,209 --> 01:22:04,337 And do you, Lydia, take this man-- 862 01:22:04,412 --> 01:22:06,141 No! Betel-- 863 01:22:07,615 --> 01:22:11,312 She's a little nervous. Maybe l should answer for her. 864 01:22:11,385 --> 01:22:13,319 l'm Lydia Deetz and l'm of sound mind. 865 01:22:13,387 --> 01:22:15,912 The man next to me is the one l want. You asked me. 866 01:22:15,990 --> 01:22:20,017 l'm answering. Yes, l love that man of mine. Come on. 867 01:22:24,732 --> 01:22:26,029 Come on. 868 01:22:27,235 --> 01:22:29,066 Betelgeu-- 869 01:22:34,242 --> 01:22:35,675 Scram! 870 01:22:37,278 --> 01:22:38,711 Come on! 871 01:22:40,214 --> 01:22:41,977 Hey, guy. 872 01:22:44,719 --> 01:22:47,153 May we continue with the ceremony? 873 01:22:49,857 --> 01:22:51,791 - Then by-- - Betelgeuse. 874 01:23:01,769 --> 01:23:03,168 Strike! 875 01:23:06,240 --> 01:23:07,832 Let's roll! 876 01:23:07,909 --> 01:23:11,140 Then by the authority vested in me-- 877 01:23:11,212 --> 01:23:13,840 - The ring please. - The ring! Oh, no! 878 01:23:21,889 --> 01:23:24,357 l've got it, honey. 879 01:23:39,740 --> 01:23:42,368 Here it is. Here you go. 880 01:23:42,443 --> 01:23:45,844 She meant nothing to me. Nothing at all! 881 01:23:51,819 --> 01:23:54,117 - l now pronounce you-- - Yeah, come on. 882 01:23:55,990 --> 01:23:58,390 Man and-- 883 01:24:56,784 --> 01:25:00,584 - What time is it? - lt's about 3:30. 884 01:25:00,655 --> 01:25:02,782 Give or take a year. 885 01:25:09,096 --> 01:25:12,588 Well? Did you get the paints? 886 01:25:12,667 --> 01:25:16,194 Yes. And l took pictures of the new town hall for you, too. 887 01:25:16,270 --> 01:25:18,204 How was the science test? 888 01:25:18,272 --> 01:25:21,332 lt was gross. They wanted me to dissect a frog. 889 01:25:21,409 --> 01:25:24,867 l told them ''no way.'' l said it was against my religion. l got a ''C.'' 890 01:25:24,945 --> 01:25:26,879 And the math test? 891 01:25:28,349 --> 01:25:32,911 You're kidding me? We spent the whole week studying for that test. 892 01:25:32,987 --> 01:25:34,648 l got an ''A.'' 893 01:25:34,722 --> 01:25:36,713 So, can l? 894 01:25:36,791 --> 01:25:40,454 l don't know. Got a ''C'' on the science test. 895 01:25:41,562 --> 01:25:44,030 Don't tease her. You never got on ''A'' in science-- 896 01:25:49,203 --> 01:25:50,864 Come on. 897 01:25:52,173 --> 01:25:54,403 Well... 898 01:25:54,475 --> 01:25:55,908 l suppose. 899 01:26:12,093 --> 01:26:14,584 This reads like stereo instructions. 900 01:26:14,662 --> 01:26:17,096 Sounds like Lydia got an ''A'' on the math test. 901 01:26:19,667 --> 01:26:22,192 He likes it. 902 01:27:01,842 --> 01:27:03,639 Sorry. Didn't see you sitting there. 903 01:27:06,113 --> 01:27:08,274 Women. 904 01:27:08,349 --> 01:27:11,580 l don't know what her problem is. 905 01:27:11,652 --> 01:27:13,085 Normally, chicks-- 906 01:27:27,701 --> 01:27:29,669 Pardon me. Did you do that? 907 01:27:29,737 --> 01:27:31,261 Nice work. 908 01:27:31,338 --> 01:27:33,431 How do you get them so small? 909 01:27:33,507 --> 01:27:35,475 There goes Elvis! Yo, King! 910 01:27:38,245 --> 01:27:42,375 Well, looks like l'm next. 911 01:27:42,449 --> 01:27:47,978 Good thing. l've got to do a photo shoot for G.Q. in an hour and a half. 912 01:27:48,055 --> 01:27:51,957 They've been after me for months. Some kind of underwear deal. 913 01:27:53,594 --> 01:27:56,563 What are you doing? Stop it. You're messing up my hair. 914 01:27:56,630 --> 01:27:59,463 Come on! Whoa! Stop it! 915 01:28:02,303 --> 01:28:05,101 This might be good luck for me. 916 01:31:26,974 --> 01:31:30,910 Subtitles By Captions, lnc. Los Angeles