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Attention, Camp North Star,
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00:00:58,827 --> 00:01:03,890
senior staff, counselors,
and counselors in training,
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00:01:06,401 --> 00:01:10,337
please rise for our national anthem.
4
00:01:42,304 --> 00:01:45,740
How about that anthem, huh?
Gee, I don't know about you,
5
00:01:45,874 --> 00:01:50,072
but I just get a great big
lump in my throat every time I hear it.
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00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:53,839
Well, it's 7:05 in the a.m.,
7
00:01:53,949 --> 00:01:57,908
and it's, wow, 43 degrees
8
00:01:58,153 --> 00:02:00,144
on the old Camp North Star
weather dial,
9
00:02:00,255 --> 00:02:05,215
and, well, that is kind of nippy
for a June 25, isn't it?
10
00:02:05,327 --> 00:02:07,420
I'm Tripper Harrison...
11
00:02:09,731 --> 00:02:13,189
I'm your head counselor,
and this is my wake-up show.
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00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:16,537
I'll be coming at you every morning
about this time,
13
00:02:16,638 --> 00:02:18,970
hoping to make
your summer camp experience
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00:02:19,074 --> 00:02:22,942
the best available in this price range.
15
00:02:24,446 --> 00:02:28,246
'Course, across the lake,
over at Camp Mohawk,
16
00:02:29,918 --> 00:02:32,978
they won't be getting up
for another hour or so,
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00:02:33,121 --> 00:02:34,918
and when they do,
they'll be awakened by servants
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00:02:35,023 --> 00:02:37,617
bearing croissants and caf� au lait.
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00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:40,154
Hope I didn't hit anybody.
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00:02:40,295 --> 00:02:41,922
But over here,
at Camp North Star this morning,
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00:02:42,030 --> 00:02:44,555
we're gonna be having
a delicious gruel breakfast,
22
00:02:44,666 --> 00:02:49,899
and don't forget to ask for seconds,
because it's all the gruel you can eat.
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00:04:04,579 --> 00:04:07,980
Okay, everybody.
Can I have your attention, please?
24
00:04:09,884 --> 00:04:13,183
Okay, everybody, I'm waiting.
People, settle down.
25
00:04:20,195 --> 00:04:22,186
Okay. That's better.
26
00:04:22,297 --> 00:04:24,265
Look it, there's a lot of new people
out there this year,
27
00:04:24,366 --> 00:04:26,926
so before we go any further,
I wanna introduce myself.
28
00:04:27,035 --> 00:04:28,366
My name's Morty Melnick.
29
00:04:28,470 --> 00:04:30,404
- Hi, Mickey.
- Hi, Mickey.
30
00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,733
My name's Morty, not Mickey.
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00:04:33,608 --> 00:04:35,599
Now, the buses are leaving
tomorrow morning at 6:30
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00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:36,802
to pick up the kids,
33
00:04:36,911 --> 00:04:38,936
and it's very important
you get your bus assignments
34
00:04:39,047 --> 00:04:40,537
to know which group of
kids you're in charge of.
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00:04:47,956 --> 00:04:49,787
Don't argue with me, Bradley.
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00:04:49,891 --> 00:04:52,382
Now, you can get rabies
from a raccoon, too.
37
00:04:52,494 --> 00:04:54,155
- Tell him, Morrie.
- That's right, Bradley.
38
00:04:54,262 --> 00:04:56,890
And don't forget to put paper
on the toilet seat cover,
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00:04:56,998 --> 00:04:58,158
'cause you could get
a terrible infection...
40
00:04:58,266 --> 00:05:00,734
Oh, you know what I meant to ask you,
did you bring smokes?
41
00:05:00,835 --> 00:05:02,769
Oh, no, I couldn't. I forgot.
42
00:05:02,904 --> 00:05:06,032
My mom found the carton
in my suitcase, she had a shit-fit.
43
00:05:06,141 --> 00:05:08,041
- Well, why don't we go get some?
- Yeah, okay.
44
00:05:08,143 --> 00:05:11,977
Mommy? Mommy?
Where's my mommy?
45
00:05:12,514 --> 00:05:15,779
Tripper, I'm looking forward
to some action this summer,
46
00:05:15,917 --> 00:05:18,181
I hope you and your gentlemen
can supply it for me.
47
00:05:18,286 --> 00:05:22,052
Well, I could supply you, but the guy
you gotta watch out for is Spaz.
48
00:05:22,157 --> 00:05:24,421
- Spaz?
- He's a sex machine.
49
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,557
Are you kidding me?
50
00:05:27,662 --> 00:05:30,096
He couldn't wake me up
with a trumpet and a drum.
51
00:05:30,198 --> 00:05:34,567
Well, I went out with him one night,
and he got us six nurses by himself,
52
00:05:34,669 --> 00:05:38,332
and four of them
couldn't report to work the next morning.
53
00:05:42,711 --> 00:05:44,440
You gonna be okay?
54
00:05:44,946 --> 00:05:48,279
Hey, I'll see you
at the end of the summer, okay?
55
00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:49,909
Okay.
56
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,793
This bus does not have
a safety inspection sticker.
57
00:06:03,898 --> 00:06:05,058
It's a fine old bus.
58
00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:08,966
No, it's not. It is a piece of junk.
I need to tell my father,
59
00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:11,732
and he's gonna report you
to the Department of Motor Vehicles.
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00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:12,864
Roxanne!
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00:06:13,007 --> 00:06:16,602
And you're going to jail. You know?
Jail? Behind bars?
62
00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,938
Yeah, just like last year, we'll hate it.
63
00:06:19,047 --> 00:06:21,277
Yeah. Camp is lousy, and you're a dork.
64
00:06:21,383 --> 00:06:24,511
Yeah, yeah, you're right,
you sure are one.
65
00:06:24,953 --> 00:06:26,181
- Hiya.
- Come on.
66
00:06:26,287 --> 00:06:27,413
- Hi.
- What do you want?
67
00:06:27,522 --> 00:06:30,514
- What, are you having trouble?
- I can't get these kids on the bus.
68
00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:32,616
- Okay. Let me talk to them.
- That's because I'm not going.
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00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:34,592
Come here, guys,
I wanna have a word with you, all right?
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00:06:34,696 --> 00:06:35,754
No.
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00:06:35,864 --> 00:06:37,559
- Okay, now you guys, look, you...
- What?
72
00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:38,927
- You better get on the bus, or...
- Why?
73
00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:43,129
Well, because if you don't,
I'm gonna beat the pants off of you.
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00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:44,938
Not bad, huh?
75
00:07:00,722 --> 00:07:04,351
- Hey, watch it, that stuff's expensive.
- Very good, sir.
76
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,891
Hey, Spaz, bud. How you doing, buddy?
77
00:07:10,999 --> 00:07:13,160
Hey, Spaz, good to see you.
78
00:07:13,268 --> 00:07:14,394
Oh, hey, give that back.
79
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,129
Come on, Spaz.
No, we're doing you a favor.
80
00:07:16,237 --> 00:07:19,001
- Give it back!
- You wanna make us, Spaz?
81
00:07:21,943 --> 00:07:24,571
- Yeah.
- Horse, give him back the milkshake.
82
00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:27,306
All right, all right. Here you go.
83
00:07:32,754 --> 00:07:35,985
Hey, we'll see you
at the basketball game, Spaz.
84
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,360
Mohawk jerks.
85
00:07:40,795 --> 00:07:43,889
These children are going to the
most glamorous of all summer camps,
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00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:45,158
Camp Mohawk.
87
00:07:45,266 --> 00:07:49,930
There's a two-year waiting list,
and every child has to be voted in.
88
00:07:50,038 --> 00:07:53,906
On top of all that, it costs $1,000 a week
to go to Camp Mohawk.
89
00:07:54,042 --> 00:07:57,011
The question is,
is it worth $1,000 a week?
90
00:07:57,111 --> 00:08:00,171
It sure is.
It's the best darn camp there is.
91
00:08:00,482 --> 00:08:02,473
Well, are you connected
with Camp Mohawk?
92
00:08:02,584 --> 00:08:05,485
Well, I think so, I'm the
program director, Jerry Aldini.
93
00:08:05,587 --> 00:08:07,953
Well, how do you justify $1,000 a week?
94
00:08:08,089 --> 00:08:10,057
Well, we have some
special programs.
95
00:08:10,158 --> 00:08:12,626
We're doing Shakespeare in the Round
again this year, of course.
96
00:08:12,727 --> 00:08:15,560
Our political round table.
Henry Kissinger will appear.
97
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,130
Yasser Arafat is gonna come out,
98
00:08:17,232 --> 00:08:18,995
spend a weekend with the kids,
just rap with them.
99
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,158
That's amazing.
100
00:08:20,268 --> 00:08:21,292
And the kids wanted animals,
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00:08:21,402 --> 00:08:24,701
so this year, each camper
will stalk and kill his own bear
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in our private wildlife preserve.
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Are you sure the children can hack that?
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00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:31,240
We'll see.
But the real excitement, of course,
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00:08:31,346 --> 00:08:33,041
is gonna come
at the end of the summer,
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00:08:33,147 --> 00:08:34,409
during Sexual Awareness Week.
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00:08:34,516 --> 00:08:36,347
We import 200 hookers
from around the world,
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00:08:36,451 --> 00:08:41,218
and each camper, armed with only
a Thermos of coffee and $2,000 cash,
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00:08:41,322 --> 00:08:44,155
tries to visit as many countries
as he can, and the winner, of course,
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00:08:44,259 --> 00:08:46,022
is named
King of Sexual Awareness Week,
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00:08:46,127 --> 00:08:49,563
and is allowed to rape and pillage the
neighboring towns until camp ends.
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00:08:49,664 --> 00:08:50,756
That's incredible.
113
00:08:50,865 --> 00:08:52,856
What do you expect for $1,000 a week?
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00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,594
Hey, you have
a good summer, too, huh?
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00:09:34,709 --> 00:09:37,872
Hey. You must be the short,
depressed kid that we ordered.
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Glad you made it.
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Want half this?
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Come on inside, Frankenstein,
I'll buy you a cocktail.
119
00:09:54,596 --> 00:09:56,257
Okay, all the 12-year-old
girls here finally?
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00:09:56,364 --> 00:09:58,855
Gonna be a terrific year.
Got a real good bunch this year.
121
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:04,061
This ground is too slippery. I could fall
and get whiplash or a broken neck.
122
00:10:04,205 --> 00:10:06,070
You know, those are serious injuries.
A guy could die...
123
00:10:06,174 --> 00:10:09,575
- Phil? He's all yours.
- Thanks, Tripper. You Rudy Gerner?
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00:10:09,711 --> 00:10:11,679
Hi, I'm Phil. You're in my cabin, okay?
125
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,474
- Gotta get this...
- Hi, Morty.
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00:10:13,581 --> 00:10:15,515
- Hi, Trip. You got the rules?
- No, I'm looking for a copy.
127
00:10:15,617 --> 00:10:17,380
Okay, here you go.
128
00:10:17,952 --> 00:10:19,351
Very important, all your CITs
129
00:10:19,454 --> 00:10:22,184
have gotta know those inside out,
backwards, forward, whatever you want.
130
00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:25,316
Post them up, make sure
they know them. Very important.
131
00:10:28,963 --> 00:10:30,328
Hey, Larry.
132
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,597
- Larry!
- What?
133
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,934
I think that chick over there
is staring at me.
134
00:10:37,038 --> 00:10:39,404
- Which chick? Where?
- Over there.
135
00:10:41,109 --> 00:10:43,270
Hey, she is staring at you.
136
00:10:43,478 --> 00:10:47,278
You better go over and talk to her.
She probably wants it.
137
00:10:55,256 --> 00:10:58,555
- What's cooking, good looking?
- Your fly's undone.
138
00:11:04,666 --> 00:11:09,126
Renzetti, come here.
Hey, Fink, come on. Off your knees.
139
00:11:10,138 --> 00:11:12,265
Hey, Spaz, I was watching you.
140
00:11:12,407 --> 00:11:13,840
Looked like you had a chance there
for a second.
141
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:15,408
Thanks, Trip.
142
00:11:17,278 --> 00:11:18,905
- My man, my main man.
- Hey, Tripper.
143
00:11:19,013 --> 00:11:21,914
- Hey, boy.
- Eyes right, gentlemen.
144
00:11:22,016 --> 00:11:23,881
- Hey.
- Hey, are these free?
145
00:11:23,985 --> 00:11:26,886
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi. Hi, Mary.
146
00:11:26,988 --> 00:11:30,389
- Fine. Just right, left, right, left.
- Jeez, that's right.
147
00:11:30,491 --> 00:11:34,757
All right, these are the camp rules.
148
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,353
Morty would like you all
to take a look at these.
149
00:11:37,465 --> 00:11:40,093
They'll be in here, if you
wanna check these out a little bit later.
150
00:11:40,201 --> 00:11:42,465
And now, gentlemen, and you are,
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00:11:42,603 --> 00:11:44,935
I'm gonna take you over to your
cabin assignments for the first week.
152
00:11:45,039 --> 00:11:45,471
Let's go.
153
00:11:46,941 --> 00:11:49,432
All right, this is the six-year-old cabin.
154
00:11:49,544 --> 00:11:52,411
All they know how to do is eat
and wet their beds.
155
00:11:52,513 --> 00:11:55,414
You have to teach them everything else.
Crockett, take it.
156
00:11:55,516 --> 00:11:57,347
No, no, Trip. I don't want it.
No six-year-olds.
157
00:11:57,452 --> 00:11:59,079
Oh, come on, Trip,
I don't wanna...
158
00:11:59,187 --> 00:12:00,518
That's my man. Good luck.
159
00:12:01,189 --> 00:12:04,124
Put the comic book away,
and get your shirt.
160
00:12:04,225 --> 00:12:10,255
Take the shirt by the shoulders.
One, fold sleevie. Two, fold sleevie.
161
00:12:10,698 --> 00:12:12,632
- Presto. It's done.
- How's this?
162
00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:14,031
- How's this, Mike?
- That's not bad.
163
00:12:14,135 --> 00:12:15,363
Listen, why don't we just have a nap,
164
00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:17,267
and we'll come back later
and try it, okay?
165
00:12:17,371 --> 00:12:18,531
- No, forget it.
- No.
166
00:12:18,639 --> 00:12:20,607
Come on, guys.
Do I have to count to three?
167
00:12:20,708 --> 00:12:24,371
One, two... Two's good enough.
168
00:12:24,545 --> 00:12:26,103
Come on, Steve.
169
00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,681
Hey, what's that?
170
00:12:35,423 --> 00:12:38,551
It's Ernie, my pet frog. He's a jumper.
171
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,129
- How come he doesn't hop?
- He's tired, I guess.
172
00:12:42,230 --> 00:12:45,358
- No, he's dead.
- No, he's sleeping.
173
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,297
For sure, he's dead.
174
00:12:48,002 --> 00:12:50,869
Mister, could you help me
wake up my frog?
175
00:12:52,707 --> 00:12:56,438
He looks tired. Why don't we just
let him sleep a little longer, okay?
176
00:12:56,544 --> 00:12:57,636
- Yeah.
- Okay.
177
00:12:57,745 --> 00:13:02,079
Take that nap now, all right? And I'II...
I'll take care of the frog.
178
00:13:04,085 --> 00:13:05,746
All right,
this is the 14-year-old girls' cabin.
179
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,150
They've got the drive
and the equipment,
180
00:13:07,255 --> 00:13:08,984
- but they don't have the experience.
- Right.
181
00:13:09,090 --> 00:13:12,321
They'd better not get it from you guys.
Not this summer, anyway, huh?
182
00:13:12,426 --> 00:13:16,192
Roxanne.
Just the person I wanted to see.
183
00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:18,762
Later, Tripper. Say, Christmas?
184
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:23,767
A.L., that's your cabin.
You got the jailbait. Watch them.
185
00:13:23,905 --> 00:13:25,770
- Women.
- Thanks.
186
00:13:26,474 --> 00:13:27,634
See you later.
187
00:13:27,742 --> 00:13:30,836
Roxanne, I want you to know
that I'm very deeply hurt,
188
00:13:30,945 --> 00:13:32,378
and I mean that sincerely.
189
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,005
Glad to hear it. Excuse me.
190
00:13:43,224 --> 00:13:44,782
Hi, Larry.
191
00:13:48,062 --> 00:13:49,359
Hi, Spaz.
192
00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:51,457
Spaz!
193
00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:59,402
Hey, guess what, guys?
Liza finally got her period.
194
00:13:59,507 --> 00:14:00,531
- Liza.
- Liza.
195
00:14:00,641 --> 00:14:04,099
- You don't have to advertise it.
- But they gotta know.
196
00:14:04,245 --> 00:14:07,214
Hey, Liza you better watch it,
'cause now you can get pregnant.
197
00:14:07,315 --> 00:14:08,646
Yeah, I heard about this girl,
198
00:14:08,749 --> 00:14:11,183
and she got pregnant
without doing it with anyone.
199
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:14,152
What do you mean?
You can't get pregnant without doing it.
200
00:14:14,255 --> 00:14:17,554
No, stupid.
She didn't do it, she almost did it.
201
00:14:17,658 --> 00:14:18,886
My God.
202
00:14:18,993 --> 00:14:21,518
- Hi, guys. I got your cabin this week.
- Hi, A.L.
203
00:14:21,629 --> 00:14:22,823
Hey.
204
00:14:22,964 --> 00:14:26,422
- Go on. Ask her, ask A.L.
- Ask me what?
205
00:14:26,534 --> 00:14:29,992
A.L., can a girl get pregnant
if she almost does it with a guy?
206
00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:33,334
Almost? I don't think so, no.
207
00:14:33,808 --> 00:14:35,435
That's a relief.
208
00:14:37,378 --> 00:14:40,870
Okay, Spazalopolous, you're
in here with Phil and the 12-year-olds.
209
00:14:40,982 --> 00:14:42,040
This here is Rudy.
210
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:43,946
- Hi, Rudy.
- Hey, Rudy. How's it going?
211
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:46,451
Gotta watch out for this guy,
he's done time for car theft.
212
00:14:46,554 --> 00:14:48,419
Oh, yeah? My kind of guy there, Rudy.
213
00:14:48,522 --> 00:14:51,252
He could be a bad influence
on the other children.
214
00:14:51,359 --> 00:14:53,020
Watch it. We'll see you guys at dinner.
215
00:14:53,127 --> 00:14:55,357
- Okay.
- Watch out for the ear, Rudy. Look out!
216
00:14:55,463 --> 00:14:56,555
See you later, Spaz.
217
00:14:56,664 --> 00:14:58,359
- Bye-bye, guys.
- Bye, Spaz.
218
00:14:58,633 --> 00:15:01,363
Not bad. Over the head.
219
00:15:01,736 --> 00:15:02,760
Hi, guys. I'm Spaz.
220
00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:05,031
I'm your CIT this week.
I wanna introduce you...
221
00:15:05,139 --> 00:15:07,198
- Hey, look, it's Spaz!
- It's Spaz!
222
00:15:08,376 --> 00:15:11,368
I wanna introduce you to a new guy
in the cabin, that...
223
00:15:11,479 --> 00:15:14,448
Hey, bozo, this is my bunk, so shove off.
224
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:22,485
Settle down. Settle down, okay.
Hey, come on, guys. Settle down.
225
00:15:22,590 --> 00:15:24,888
Okay, let's see, everything's put away.
That's good.
226
00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:27,290
Everybody has a bunk. That's good.
227
00:15:27,495 --> 00:15:29,326
Everybody's settled in. That's good.
228
00:15:29,430 --> 00:15:32,297
And everybody's been deloused
and fingerprinted. That's good.
229
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:36,234
Phil, look, it's the first day of camp,
and we're bored already.
230
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,031
What are we gonna do, huh?
231
00:15:38,172 --> 00:15:40,197
Relax, Peter, relax.
232
00:15:40,341 --> 00:15:44,004
Okay, you guys, after lunch
we got a big game with cabin B-11,
233
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,944
and I really wanna win it, okay?
So, what do you say?
234
00:15:47,048 --> 00:15:48,242
- We're gonna kill them!
- We're gonna kill them!
235
00:15:48,349 --> 00:15:49,407
Gonna what?
236
00:15:49,517 --> 00:15:50,609
- We're gonna kill them!
- We're gonna kill them!
237
00:15:50,718 --> 00:15:51,776
I can't hear you.
238
00:15:51,886 --> 00:15:53,148
- We're gonna kill them!
- We're gonna kill them!
239
00:15:53,254 --> 00:15:54,687
We're gonna kill them!
240
00:15:55,256 --> 00:15:58,692
Attention all campers, afternoon
swim schedule is as follows:
241
00:15:58,793 --> 00:16:00,624
Advanced dolphins
will report to the dock
242
00:16:00,728 --> 00:16:02,355
for survival swimming and IQ testing.
243
00:16:02,463 --> 00:16:05,523
All senior silverfish,
meet on the beach for nude sunbathing.
244
00:16:05,633 --> 00:16:08,966
Junior salmon, trout and herring,
report to the nearest delicatessen,
245
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:11,903
and six-year-old tadpoles,
report to the swamp.
246
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:15,566
And all lobsters, get out of here,
you're a menace!
247
00:16:31,459 --> 00:16:34,223
- David says that it's very...
- Hi, girls.
248
00:16:34,328 --> 00:16:37,695
I'm really looking forward
to working with all of you this summer.
249
00:16:37,798 --> 00:16:39,823
I just hope there's enough of me
to go around.
250
00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:42,368
Lance, please. We're eating.
251
00:16:52,913 --> 00:16:54,380
Oh, crap!
252
00:16:54,482 --> 00:16:57,417
Why do I have to
stack the dishes again?
253
00:16:57,518 --> 00:17:00,919
I don't have the energy. I'm weak.
I'm weak from hunger.
254
00:17:01,022 --> 00:17:03,252
Fink. Less flak, more stack.
255
00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:06,155
Gossip! Gossip! We want gossip!
256
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:09,592
Gossip! Gossip! We want gossip!
257
00:17:09,697 --> 00:17:12,723
Gossip! Gossip! We want gossip!
258
00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:30,773
Okay. Okay, we have a gossip update.
This is the news.
259
00:17:30,885 --> 00:17:34,685
It seems as though
last summer's hottest couple have split.
260
00:17:34,822 --> 00:17:38,314
I can't tell you their names,
but her initials are A.L.,
261
00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:41,155
and he's the hottest CIT on wheels.
262
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:45,130
We all know they spent
most of last summer in the bushes,
263
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:48,429
but the question is,
will true love bloom again?
264
00:17:48,536 --> 00:17:52,131
And speaking of CITs,
there's a certain girl named Wendy
265
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,935
who's giving all the guys wet dreams.
266
00:17:59,747 --> 00:18:01,476
Okay, Jody, thank you very much.
267
00:18:01,582 --> 00:18:03,106
Everybody,
when you're finished stacking,
268
00:18:03,217 --> 00:18:04,844
all the cabins
can go to their other activities.
269
00:18:09,056 --> 00:18:12,287
Okay, you guys, let's play ball, okay?
Let's go!
270
00:18:13,928 --> 00:18:16,897
Let's move. We gotta get back
to the cabin for rest period.
271
00:18:16,997 --> 00:18:19,830
If I'd wanted to rest,
I would have stayed in Cleveland.
272
00:18:19,934 --> 00:18:21,561
You and Trip are playing defense.
Get your shirts off.
273
00:18:21,669 --> 00:18:23,398
Hey, all right! What do you say?
We're defense, buddy.
274
00:18:23,504 --> 00:18:26,234
Okay, you guys. Come on, let's go. We
can win this game, all right. Come on.
275
00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:29,207
Hardware, you're doomed.
Come on, you guys.
276
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:41,146
Come on. Come on, people.
Down here. Come on.
277
00:18:41,255 --> 00:18:43,917
Come on, you guys, let's kill them.
278
00:18:47,128 --> 00:18:49,995
Come on, Rudy,
get it back the other way.
279
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:56,229
Yeah!
280
00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:58,201
Do we have to have
this guy on our team?
281
00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,330
Do we gotta have Gerner on our team?
He's totally useless.
282
00:19:00,441 --> 00:19:01,965
- He sucks!
- He's terrible.
283
00:19:02,076 --> 00:19:05,773
I know, I know. Okay, come on,
you guys. Let's regroup...
284
00:19:37,077 --> 00:19:39,807
Yeah, could I have some fries, please?
285
00:19:47,221 --> 00:19:50,281
Hey, Gerner. How's it going?
286
00:19:53,327 --> 00:19:56,728
This is the best damn food
in the whole Two Pines area.
287
00:19:56,864 --> 00:19:58,889
I'm not surprised you found this place.
288
00:19:58,999 --> 00:20:02,435
I had you pegged for a gourmet
first time I met you.
289
00:20:03,204 --> 00:20:05,866
You know, that's a smart move,
bringing a suitcase.
290
00:20:05,973 --> 00:20:07,634
You don't wanna be leaving
a lot of valuable socks
291
00:20:07,741 --> 00:20:08,901
and underwear around camp,
292
00:20:09,009 --> 00:20:11,773
where people can rustle around in them
when you're out on the town.
293
00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:13,870
Thank you.
294
00:20:14,014 --> 00:20:15,811
You like ketchup?
295
00:20:17,151 --> 00:20:18,675
I'm going away.
296
00:20:19,753 --> 00:20:21,345
You going to Vegas?
297
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:23,115
If you're going to Vegas, man,
I would be up for it,
298
00:20:23,224 --> 00:20:27,126
because I love that town.
I'm a party guy, I love that town.
299
00:20:27,695 --> 00:20:30,129
I don't think they want me around.
300
00:20:30,231 --> 00:20:33,223
What, are you talking about
the soccer-heads back there?
301
00:20:33,334 --> 00:20:37,896
Well, that's life in the fast-paced,
slam-bang, live-on-the-razor's edge,
302
00:20:38,038 --> 00:20:41,405
laugh-in-the-face-of-death world
of junior league soccer.
303
00:20:41,542 --> 00:20:45,740
I'm serious. I never played
the game before. I tried to tell them.
304
00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:48,648
What? You tried to tell...
305
00:20:49,383 --> 00:20:50,714
And they...
306
00:20:50,851 --> 00:20:55,550
Who was it? I'll get them.
I'll get them with this Swiss Army knife.
307
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,288
The Swiss trained me to kill,
and I will do it.
308
00:20:58,392 --> 00:21:01,486
I will grab these guys by the neck,
take the toothpick,
309
00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:03,654
and stick it right in between their teeth.
310
00:21:03,764 --> 00:21:05,823
And then I'll slap them around the head
a couple of times.
311
00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:08,231
They'll go out for just a couple
of seconds, they'll be unconscious,
312
00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:09,962
and while they're doing that,
I'll go for the corkscrew.
313
00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:12,334
And I'll grab them,
and I'll take that corkscrew,
314
00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:14,737
and I will stick it right into the voice box.
315
00:21:14,842 --> 00:21:19,074
I will twist that mofo, I will twist it
into his voice box, and rip that thing,
316
00:21:19,213 --> 00:21:22,649
rip it out, and he'll talk like this
for the rest of his life.
317
00:21:22,750 --> 00:21:26,481
I don't wanna hurt anyone.
I just want them to like me.
318
00:21:28,689 --> 00:21:29,747
Why?
319
00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:35,085
If you make one good friend a summer,
then you're doing pretty well.
320
00:21:41,135 --> 00:21:45,504
Look, if you have trouble, come to me,
tell me, and I'll help you.
321
00:21:48,776 --> 00:21:51,040
What's that? What is that?
Is that yes or no?
322
00:21:51,145 --> 00:21:55,013
Yes is like this, and no is just
twisting, twisting, twisting. Okay?
323
00:21:55,115 --> 00:21:56,514
- Well, it was yes.
- It was this one?
324
00:21:56,617 --> 00:21:57,777
- Definitely?
- Yes, one of those.
325
00:21:57,885 --> 00:21:59,216
You're positive it wasn't
a side-to-side one?
326
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,480
No, it wasn't one of those.
327
00:22:00,587 --> 00:22:03,283
'Cause you could hurt your neck
doing that. Okay...
328
00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:06,359
Have you got wheels?
'Cause I need a lift back to camp.
329
00:22:06,460 --> 00:22:09,224
My folks won't let me drive
'cause they caught me drinking,
330
00:22:09,330 --> 00:22:12,231
they just don't let me out of the house
any more, 'cause I'm a jerk, they said.
331
00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:15,200
They're gonna send me
to military school.
332
00:22:15,903 --> 00:22:18,133
You forgot something, Rudy.
333
00:22:18,639 --> 00:22:20,402
Thanks for the fries.
334
00:22:33,954 --> 00:22:35,148
Jesus!
335
00:22:36,457 --> 00:22:38,652
- Christ, Hardware.
- You animal. What are you doing?
336
00:22:38,759 --> 00:22:40,420
- I can't handle it.
- You mook, why don't you warn me
337
00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:42,927
when you're gonna play
with your dynamite?
338
00:22:45,933 --> 00:22:47,662
What are you doing, Hardware?
339
00:22:47,768 --> 00:22:51,431
I'm hooking up this heavy-duty outlet
here for our new air conditioner.
340
00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:53,938
- An air conditioner? That's great.
- That's right.
341
00:22:54,041 --> 00:22:57,772
- Well, where is it?
- Morty's office. He loves the heat.
342
00:23:00,981 --> 00:23:02,073
Okay.
343
00:23:02,182 --> 00:23:05,174
An air conditioner just doesn't get up
and walk away.
344
00:23:05,319 --> 00:23:09,312
- Any idea where it might be, Tripper?
- I have no idea.
345
00:23:09,857 --> 00:23:13,657
- Maybe it was stolen, Morty.
- Of course, it was stolen,
346
00:23:14,294 --> 00:23:15,761
but I'm gonna find it.
347
00:23:15,863 --> 00:23:18,798
Will you two go over
the schedules, please?
348
00:23:20,033 --> 00:23:21,466
Okay, ready?
349
00:23:23,470 --> 00:23:27,031
Monday, Wednesday and Friday,
2:00 to 4:00 p.m.,
350
00:23:27,174 --> 00:23:29,369
junior boys and junior girls.
351
00:23:30,744 --> 00:23:34,771
Tuesday and Thursday,
2:00 to 4:00 p.m., junior boys.
352
00:23:35,582 --> 00:23:37,482
Thursday and Friday, 4:00 to 5:00...
353
00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:39,211
- Roxanne.
- What?
354
00:23:39,353 --> 00:23:43,847
I have to tell you this as a friend.
I can see right down your blouse.
355
00:23:45,058 --> 00:23:47,151
I can see everything, too.
356
00:23:47,728 --> 00:23:50,128
Tripper, is there something
seriously wrong with you?
357
00:23:50,230 --> 00:23:53,688
Roxanne, I have what doctors call
"very active glands".
358
00:23:54,034 --> 00:23:56,502
You're the only person I've told,
my folks don't even know.
359
00:23:56,603 --> 00:23:59,731
Well, maybe you can have surgery
without them knowing.
360
00:23:59,873 --> 00:24:04,537
- Heck with surgery. Let's wrestle.
- No, let's not, okay, Tripper? No...
361
00:24:06,647 --> 00:24:08,842
The atomic skull crusher.
362
00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:14,445
Let's not do this. Okay, Tripper?
Let's just stop right now. Okay? Okay?
363
00:24:22,196 --> 00:24:25,029
- Dip lock.
- What? Tripper, no.
364
00:24:25,165 --> 00:24:28,066
- Shark-infested waters!
- No, don't do that, Tripper. No. No.
365
00:24:28,168 --> 00:24:29,999
Tripper!
366
00:24:32,873 --> 00:24:35,842
Let's stop now, okay? No, huh? Let's...
367
00:24:36,710 --> 00:24:38,837
I'm sorry about that blouse thing,
but somebody had to tell you.
368
00:24:38,946 --> 00:24:41,346
Tripper, get off of me right now,
or I start screaming.
369
00:24:41,448 --> 00:24:44,076
Oh, at the count of three, I guess, huh?
One, two...
370
00:24:44,184 --> 00:24:45,549
- Help!
- Help!
371
00:24:45,686 --> 00:24:47,153
Help!
372
00:24:47,254 --> 00:24:48,812
- Help me!
- No, please.
373
00:24:48,922 --> 00:24:50,685
- Somebody, help!
- Let me get off.
374
00:24:50,791 --> 00:24:52,383
Get off me! Morty!
375
00:24:52,526 --> 00:24:54,824
- What the hell's going on here?
- Oh, Morty!
376
00:24:54,928 --> 00:24:57,192
Morty. Morty. Morty.
377
00:24:58,265 --> 00:25:00,062
She attacked me.
378
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:04,500
- Give me a break, Harrison, will you?
- She came at me like an animal.
379
00:25:10,143 --> 00:25:12,611
Would you get a hold of yourself?
380
00:25:17,618 --> 00:25:20,781
It's great. You can't even see it
from outside, because of the bushes.
381
00:25:20,888 --> 00:25:22,116
Okay, this is it.
382
00:25:22,222 --> 00:25:25,783
This is it.
Now, in five seconds, we're talking five,
383
00:25:25,926 --> 00:25:27,951
we are gonna have
the coolest cabin in camp.
384
00:25:28,061 --> 00:25:29,858
- All right.
- Sweet.
385
00:25:29,963 --> 00:25:32,625
- Yes, sir. Thank you, Mickey.
- Yes!
386
00:25:32,766 --> 00:25:35,792
All right, let's do it.
Let's do it. You ready?
387
00:25:35,936 --> 00:25:37,164
- Are you ready?
- I'm ready.
388
00:25:37,271 --> 00:25:38,295
All right.
389
00:25:38,438 --> 00:25:43,876
- Five, four, three, two, one.
- Do it!
390
00:25:50,984 --> 00:25:53,145
- Hardware?
- Yeah, Crockett.
391
00:25:53,287 --> 00:25:54,618
You're a dick.
392
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,701
Okay, pit stop. Change the tires.
393
00:27:26,513 --> 00:27:27,810
Not bad.
394
00:27:28,348 --> 00:27:31,476
You got pretty good form.
It's real good, Rudy.
395
00:27:31,585 --> 00:27:32,813
Really?
396
00:27:33,220 --> 00:27:36,280
Yeah. Well, you know,
it's your first time out.
397
00:27:36,723 --> 00:27:38,190
It's okay.
398
00:27:38,325 --> 00:27:40,486
You wanna get into shape, though,
399
00:27:40,594 --> 00:27:45,054
you gotta come out every morning
with me. I'll make you into an animal.
400
00:27:47,401 --> 00:27:50,393
Top physical condition,
you gotta pay the price.
401
00:27:50,537 --> 00:27:52,630
- Okay.
- Okay.
402
00:27:57,811 --> 00:27:59,301
Attention campers.
403
00:27:59,446 --> 00:28:02,540
Remember, this is killer bee season
in the North Woods,
404
00:28:02,649 --> 00:28:04,913
so don't provoke
any flying yellow things,
405
00:28:05,018 --> 00:28:07,418
you're just asking for trouble.
406
00:28:14,795 --> 00:28:19,391
Hey, Crockett, I told Candace I was
gonna christen my boat, "The Candace",
407
00:28:19,599 --> 00:28:22,261
and she just about had a heart attack.
408
00:28:22,369 --> 00:28:25,964
I don't think she knew
how much in love we really were.
409
00:28:26,807 --> 00:28:30,334
- Hey, Crockett, can you help me a sec?
- Sure, Candace.
410
00:28:31,645 --> 00:28:33,579
Hurry up, come on.
411
00:28:39,119 --> 00:28:40,814
What are you doing?
412
00:28:41,455 --> 00:28:44,913
Crockett, this is the first time
I've ever kidnapped a guy.
413
00:28:45,025 --> 00:28:48,153
- No kidding, huh?
- You'll be released unharmed.
414
00:28:48,328 --> 00:28:52,526
I just want you long enough to tell you
that I'm really attracted to you.
415
00:28:52,666 --> 00:28:54,099
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
416
00:28:55,135 --> 00:28:57,160
I think I'm special, too.
417
00:28:57,738 --> 00:29:00,764
Hell, you're the only one in this camp
that I really wanna spend time with!
418
00:29:00,874 --> 00:29:01,898
- Really?
- Yeah!
419
00:29:02,008 --> 00:29:03,532
Well, what about Lance Cashman then?
420
00:29:03,643 --> 00:29:04,735
- Lance Cashman?
- Yeah, Lance.
421
00:29:04,845 --> 00:29:07,405
Lance Cashman is a total jerk-off!
422
00:29:09,316 --> 00:29:13,013
All right! She likes me! She likes me!
423
00:29:15,322 --> 00:29:18,086
"Jerk-off"? I don't jerk off.
424
00:29:18,792 --> 00:29:22,751
- I don't know how to do this.
- Just throw it up in the air, and hit it.
425
00:29:39,212 --> 00:29:41,840
- I'm sorry. I...
- Why don't we serve?
426
00:29:42,415 --> 00:29:43,814
Yeah...
427
00:29:46,386 --> 00:29:50,288
Did you see the way she
handed you the racket? She wants it.
428
00:29:51,057 --> 00:29:53,355
You guys ready? Here it comes.
429
00:29:54,761 --> 00:29:57,025
- I got it. It's mine!
- Get it, get it!
430
00:29:57,164 --> 00:29:59,132
Come on, lob it! Lob it! Try...
431
00:29:59,232 --> 00:30:01,826
- I got it!
- I got it. I got it. I got...
432
00:30:02,669 --> 00:30:07,072
- I thought you said you had it, meatball.
- Well, then, you serve, then.
433
00:30:10,677 --> 00:30:11,837
Ready?
434
00:30:15,282 --> 00:30:18,410
I got it, I got it, I got it! I'm gonna get it!
435
00:30:21,354 --> 00:30:23,788
Attention. Here's an update
on tonight's dinner.
436
00:30:23,890 --> 00:30:27,087
It was veal. I repeat, veal.
437
00:30:27,227 --> 00:30:29,024
The winner of tonight's
mystery meat contest
438
00:30:29,129 --> 00:30:32,895
is Jeffrey Corbin,
who guessed "some kind of beef".
439
00:30:33,099 --> 00:30:36,432
Congratulations, Jeffrey. You just won
a brand new Chrysler Cordoba,
440
00:30:36,536 --> 00:30:39,198
and you can pick it up at Morty's office.
441
00:30:42,075 --> 00:30:43,406
You bet.
442
00:30:44,811 --> 00:30:45,937
Five.
443
00:30:48,748 --> 00:30:50,511
I'll see that five.
444
00:30:52,752 --> 00:30:54,947
- Want a card?
- No.
445
00:30:57,390 --> 00:30:59,255
I'll take one. Eight.
446
00:31:01,228 --> 00:31:02,456
15.
447
00:31:03,930 --> 00:31:05,761
18. I'll stick.
448
00:31:09,302 --> 00:31:10,530
20.
449
00:31:14,908 --> 00:31:18,105
You shark! You're playing
some sort of system, aren't you?
450
00:31:19,246 --> 00:31:22,579
You've been watching the cards,
marking the cards.
451
00:31:34,995 --> 00:31:37,054
From the diaphragm. Let's see.
452
00:31:39,165 --> 00:31:42,862
Oh, really? Really?
453
00:31:44,337 --> 00:31:46,100
From the diaphragm.
454
00:31:49,976 --> 00:31:53,468
That's not from the diaphragm. Ante up.
455
00:31:55,081 --> 00:31:58,244
- What do you do in the off season?
- Go to school.
456
00:32:00,086 --> 00:32:01,280
20.
457
00:32:03,089 --> 00:32:06,217
20? What are you,
some sort of madman?
458
00:32:08,161 --> 00:32:10,755
Is that what they teach you
in that school of yours, 20?
459
00:32:10,864 --> 00:32:12,729
I'll see your 20.
460
00:32:12,832 --> 00:32:15,767
I hope you walk out of here with nothing.
461
00:32:17,203 --> 00:32:19,467
I think I like history the most.
462
00:32:19,606 --> 00:32:23,838
It's fun to imagine that I'm
in some other time, in a different place.
463
00:32:24,177 --> 00:32:26,475
Shut up and look at your cards.
464
00:32:29,783 --> 00:32:31,148
Blackjack.
465
00:32:39,225 --> 00:32:40,590
19.
466
00:32:40,894 --> 00:32:42,327
21.
467
00:32:44,230 --> 00:32:46,255
I've had it. That's it.
468
00:32:46,833 --> 00:32:48,767
Card monster. Get out!
469
00:32:53,173 --> 00:32:56,199
I think you're pretty tired. I think you
ought to go home and go to sleep.
470
00:32:56,309 --> 00:32:58,470
- This was great.
- Well, yeah, this was great.
471
00:32:58,578 --> 00:33:00,375
You're the guy walking home
with all the peanuts.
472
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:05,179
If I were walking home with the peanuts,
it'd be incredible, it'd be sensational.
473
00:33:05,418 --> 00:33:06,976
Are you going to bed?
474
00:33:07,087 --> 00:33:08,714
No, I've called
an organizational meeting
475
00:33:08,822 --> 00:33:11,484
of the CITs
for a little bit later this evening.
476
00:33:11,591 --> 00:33:13,718
No midgets allowed. Sorry.
477
00:33:15,428 --> 00:33:17,487
Well, enough of
this playing for peanuts.
478
00:33:17,597 --> 00:33:20,828
Tomorrow night we play
for real stakes, zucchini.
479
00:33:22,369 --> 00:33:24,462
Children starving in India,
and you're walking around
480
00:33:24,571 --> 00:33:26,801
with a whole sombrero full of peanuts.
481
00:33:26,906 --> 00:33:28,806
I hope you sleep well.
482
00:33:30,410 --> 00:33:32,207
Night, Tripper.
483
00:33:43,556 --> 00:33:45,649
Attention all campers.
484
00:33:46,626 --> 00:33:48,753
It's now 9:30,
485
00:33:48,862 --> 00:33:52,263
and that's lights-out time, 9:30,
as you know.
486
00:33:52,699 --> 00:33:54,633
Tomorrow is Parents Day,
487
00:33:54,734 --> 00:33:58,761
and you must look rested, or Morty
will be sent to the state penitentiary.
488
00:34:11,084 --> 00:34:12,813
- What are you doing?
- Shut the light!
489
00:34:12,919 --> 00:34:14,546
- Get up!
- Come on.
490
00:34:16,923 --> 00:34:21,724
- What is this, breakfast?
- Hardware, get up! Up, up!
491
00:34:23,029 --> 00:34:24,690
Who's the puppy?
492
00:34:27,567 --> 00:34:29,125
What? What?
493
00:34:29,235 --> 00:34:31,635
All right, gentlemen, big event.
494
00:34:32,739 --> 00:34:36,539
- Operation Late Night Excitement.
- Another panty raid, Trip?
495
00:34:36,743 --> 00:34:39,041
No questions, dog face!
496
00:34:39,579 --> 00:34:41,479
Dress up and move out!
497
00:35:18,618 --> 00:35:20,051
Tie him up.
498
00:35:28,595 --> 00:35:32,190
Don't wake him. Tie him gently, now.
He needs his sleep.
499
00:35:34,467 --> 00:35:35,957
On your guard.
500
00:35:36,836 --> 00:35:39,066
Prepare to raise the casket.
501
00:35:53,186 --> 00:35:54,949
Won't fit, Trip.
502
00:35:55,321 --> 00:35:56,618
Spin him.
503
00:36:10,770 --> 00:36:13,238
Company, rotate.
504
00:36:18,444 --> 00:36:21,709
Right face. Right face.
505
00:37:03,990 --> 00:37:05,821
Morning, Mr. Melnick.
506
00:37:06,125 --> 00:37:08,685
- Hey, Mickey!
- Hello, Mickey!
507
00:37:09,229 --> 00:37:10,355
Hey, Mickey!
508
00:37:11,231 --> 00:37:14,257
- Hi, Mickey!
- Hey, Mickey!
509
00:37:15,235 --> 00:37:17,032
- Sleepy?
- Hello, Mr. Melnick.
510
00:37:18,037 --> 00:37:19,595
Morning, Melnick.
511
00:37:23,643 --> 00:37:27,272
Lots of room, lots of room. Looks fine,
Dad. Looks good, Dad. Come on.
512
00:37:27,380 --> 00:37:29,610
- Am I okay?
- Come on. Looks fine, Dad.
513
00:37:32,252 --> 00:37:33,685
Sorry, Dad.
514
00:37:40,727 --> 00:37:41,785
Yo.
515
00:37:44,163 --> 00:37:46,825
You don't have to run with me today,
I know you got things to do.
516
00:37:46,933 --> 00:37:50,232
No, I'd rather run,
it takes my mind off sex.
517
00:37:51,537 --> 00:37:54,301
- Is your dad coming up today?
- He can't.
518
00:37:55,375 --> 00:37:58,469
Mine can't either,
he's gotta mow the lawn.
519
00:37:59,912 --> 00:38:02,346
Mind hanging out with me today?
520
00:38:02,448 --> 00:38:04,416
- No.
- Okay.
521
00:38:33,946 --> 00:38:37,313
- Hey, you got any kids in your family?
- No.
522
00:38:37,417 --> 00:38:40,147
- Did you ever do any time? Prison?
- No.
523
00:38:41,187 --> 00:38:43,655
- You know to hotwire a car?
- Not yet, no.
524
00:38:43,756 --> 00:38:45,280
Well, you'll learn in class.
525
00:38:45,391 --> 00:38:47,655
Did you read in the paper today
about the Polish terrorist?
526
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:49,159
- No.
- Yeah. A tragedy.
527
00:38:49,262 --> 00:38:52,754
They sent this guy to blow up a car, and
the guy burns his mouth on the tailpipe.
528
00:38:52,865 --> 00:38:55,095
That's an old one.
You'll get that a lot up here.
529
00:38:55,201 --> 00:38:57,396
Rattlesnake! Look out.
530
00:39:12,618 --> 00:39:14,586
All right, quiet.
531
00:39:20,426 --> 00:39:25,193
"She turned her head from side to side
against the dank jungle floor."
532
00:39:25,298 --> 00:39:26,424
Hey, relax.
533
00:39:26,566 --> 00:39:30,525
"In the distance, the ocean undulated
with increasing fervor."
534
00:39:30,770 --> 00:39:32,465
- I can hear them.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
535
00:39:32,572 --> 00:39:37,475
- This book is really disgusting.
- Well, it sounds great to me.
536
00:39:38,010 --> 00:39:39,477
I don't believe this.
537
00:39:39,612 --> 00:39:41,876
"She could no longer contain the plea."
538
00:39:41,981 --> 00:39:43,539
Oh, my God.
539
00:39:44,117 --> 00:39:46,745
You little hunk of honey bunch.
540
00:39:48,621 --> 00:39:49,883
"Take me.
541
00:39:50,823 --> 00:39:52,256
"Make me a woman.
542
00:39:52,358 --> 00:39:55,759
"She realized she was uttering sounds
from deep within herself,
543
00:39:55,862 --> 00:39:58,160
"noises unlike any she had ever made."
544
00:39:58,297 --> 00:40:02,791
- Larry.
- Shut up, shut up, okay? Shut up.
545
00:40:04,036 --> 00:40:07,733
"...the hungry personification
of passion and pain.
546
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:14,006
"Closer and closer the stranger came
towards the entangled pair."
547
00:40:14,514 --> 00:40:17,005
- I'm getting a boner.
- What?
548
00:40:17,717 --> 00:40:19,708
- I said I'm getting a boner.
- Will you...
549
00:40:19,819 --> 00:40:21,309
"...haunting."
550
00:40:21,888 --> 00:40:23,287
- Wait a minute.
- What is it?
551
00:40:23,389 --> 00:40:25,482
I think I hear something.
552
00:40:30,830 --> 00:40:32,627
Okay, let's go check it out.
553
00:40:34,066 --> 00:40:35,260
Quiet.
554
00:40:38,404 --> 00:40:40,031
They can hear us.
555
00:40:42,875 --> 00:40:44,536
I don't hear anything...
556
00:40:45,912 --> 00:40:47,573
- I'm getting out of here.
- I'll bet you they heard us.
557
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:49,079
- Get out of here, get out of here.
- Okay.
558
00:40:49,182 --> 00:40:51,343
- All right, go on.
- Get up, get up.
559
00:40:51,484 --> 00:40:52,883
Spaz, I'm stuck.
560
00:40:53,019 --> 00:40:56,819
I'm having trouble. Come on, Spaz,
help me. I'm having trouble!
561
00:40:57,657 --> 00:40:59,716
Spaz, what are you doing?
562
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,028
Spaz, you're ripping my face off!
563
00:41:07,867 --> 00:41:14,295
What are you doing? Spaz. Spaz. Spaz!
564
00:41:16,175 --> 00:41:17,164
Spaz!
565
00:41:18,211 --> 00:41:20,771
What are you, a homo, or what?
566
00:41:23,583 --> 00:41:26,416
Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
567
00:41:27,653 --> 00:41:31,680
Attention. Bus for the Camp Mohawk
basketball game leaving in 15 minutes,
568
00:41:31,824 --> 00:41:36,727
and there is a very fat pair of pants
hanging on the flagpole this morning.
569
00:41:46,572 --> 00:41:48,904
See you at Camp Mohawk, Morty.
570
00:42:04,190 --> 00:42:05,748
One, two, three.
571
00:42:05,892 --> 00:42:07,325
- Camp Mohawk!
- Camp Mohawk!
572
00:42:07,426 --> 00:42:09,656
- Death, injury, blood and brains!
- Death, injury, blood and brains!
573
00:42:09,762 --> 00:42:11,957
- Mohawk, Mohawk, win again!
- Mohawk, Mohawk, win again!
574
00:42:12,064 --> 00:42:14,328
- Death, injury, blood and brains!
- Death, injury, blood and brains!
575
00:42:14,433 --> 00:42:17,459
- Mohawk, Mohawk, win again!
- Mohawk, Mohawk, win again!
576
00:42:21,407 --> 00:42:25,537
- Look out, Mohawk, we'll come through!
- Look out, Mohawk, we'll come through!
577
00:42:26,579 --> 00:42:30,709
- Look out, Mohawk, we'll come through!
- Look out, Mohawk, we'll come through!
578
00:42:37,990 --> 00:42:41,721
I don't know, Trip, those Mohawks
look better than last year.
579
00:42:42,061 --> 00:42:45,462
Guys, it's important for us
to hustle at both ends of the court.
580
00:42:45,565 --> 00:42:48,898
We gotta make the offense work.
We gotta play that big tough D.
581
00:42:49,001 --> 00:42:51,993
We gotta contain their big men inside.
We gotta crash the boards on offense.
582
00:42:52,104 --> 00:42:53,969
We can't give them the baseline
at any price.
583
00:42:54,073 --> 00:42:56,803
But more important
than the score of this game,
584
00:42:56,943 --> 00:42:59,912
is to score at the big social
at our place tonight.
585
00:43:00,012 --> 00:43:03,209
So, I want you guys to go out there
and protect your balls at any cost.
586
00:43:03,316 --> 00:43:04,749
- All right.
- You can count on it.
587
00:43:04,850 --> 00:43:07,148
Bruce Lee, patron of self-defense,
588
00:43:07,286 --> 00:43:08,548
- pray for us.
- Pray for us!
589
00:43:08,654 --> 00:43:10,212
Let's go. All right.
590
00:43:10,323 --> 00:43:11,722
- All right.
- Hey, hey, let's go!
591
00:43:11,824 --> 00:43:14,224
Go get them, guys. Excuse me.
Thank you.
592
00:43:14,327 --> 00:43:15,817
Let's go, Spaz. Do it, Spaz.
593
00:43:15,928 --> 00:43:18,260
- Gary, take it.
- Aw, Spaz!
594
00:43:18,364 --> 00:43:20,264
- Sorry, guys.
- Sink it over here.
595
00:43:20,366 --> 00:43:23,392
All right, this is how it's done.
This is how it's done.
596
00:43:23,502 --> 00:43:26,198
Oh, looks good, Hardware. Looks good.
597
00:43:27,974 --> 00:43:30,534
All right. Let's clean up.
598
00:43:35,681 --> 00:43:39,617
- Try again. Try another one.
- Hey. Take it. Come on.
599
00:43:39,752 --> 00:43:43,950
- You know, our guys don't look so good.
- They're not.
600
00:43:44,156 --> 00:43:46,590
- Death, injury, blood and brains!
- Death, injury, blood and brains!
601
00:43:46,692 --> 00:43:49,024
- Mohawks, Mohawks, win again!
- Mohawks, Mohawks, win again!
602
00:43:49,128 --> 00:43:51,995
- Go, North Star, go!
- Go, North Star, go!
603
00:43:52,131 --> 00:43:55,066
Son of a gun, son of a gun!
604
00:43:59,639 --> 00:44:01,766
- Go, North Star, go!
- Go, North Star, go!
605
00:44:01,874 --> 00:44:04,638
Hey, Wheels,
you're going home in an ambulance.
606
00:44:04,777 --> 00:44:06,972
- Nice shirt, Crockett.
- Thanks.
607
00:44:07,113 --> 00:44:08,410
- All right, guys.
- Thanks. Mook.
608
00:44:08,514 --> 00:44:10,675
Let's go, let's go. Come on,
let's play some basketball here.
609
00:44:10,783 --> 00:44:11,841
Come on. Here we go.
610
00:44:11,951 --> 00:44:14,476
- Go, North Star, go!
- Go, North Star, go!
611
00:44:22,862 --> 00:44:25,296
Hey, nice going, Mohawks, nice going.
612
00:44:25,398 --> 00:44:27,127
Assholes.
613
00:44:29,502 --> 00:44:30,799
- Am I all right?
- That was a great try, buddy.
614
00:44:30,903 --> 00:44:32,598
Oh, yeah. I think we're in big trouble.
615
00:44:32,705 --> 00:44:34,935
That Crockett's really cute.
616
00:44:35,207 --> 00:44:37,869
Yeah, but he can't play basketball
worth a shit.
617
00:44:38,010 --> 00:44:41,343
Go, North Star, go.
618
00:44:44,984 --> 00:44:47,817
There are five guys.
They play offense and defense,
619
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:49,615
but they play
at different ends of the court,
620
00:44:49,722 --> 00:44:51,849
and they switch sides at half-time.
621
00:44:52,858 --> 00:44:54,086
Wheels!
622
00:44:57,129 --> 00:44:58,460
Hardware!
623
00:44:59,198 --> 00:45:00,756
- You all right?
- Yeah.
624
00:45:00,900 --> 00:45:02,265
Help me, Spaz, come on.
625
00:45:02,368 --> 00:45:04,859
Take it easy, easy. Come on.
626
00:45:05,004 --> 00:45:07,973
Now you know
why they call that guy Rhino.
627
00:45:08,541 --> 00:45:11,635
- Oh, my God, his nose is bleeding.
- It's gonna get even bigger now.
628
00:45:11,744 --> 00:45:13,041
Jackie.
629
00:45:13,179 --> 00:45:15,374
- Come here. You okay?
- Yeah.
630
00:45:15,514 --> 00:45:18,108
Hardware Renzetti, girls.
It's just a nosebleed.
631
00:45:18,217 --> 00:45:20,811
Looks like he's gonna be
at the big social tonight.
632
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,114
He'll be there.
633
00:45:22,221 --> 00:45:24,689
It really doesn't look any worse, really.
634
00:45:24,924 --> 00:45:26,414
- Really?
- Go out there and kill 'em.
635
00:45:26,525 --> 00:45:28,049
- All right.
- Fazul!
636
00:45:28,194 --> 00:45:29,491
- Come on!
- Hardware!
637
00:45:29,595 --> 00:45:30,721
- Go, North Star, go!
- Go, North Star, go!
638
00:45:30,830 --> 00:45:31,922
- Go, North Star, go!
- Go, North Star, go!
639
00:45:32,031 --> 00:45:34,397
- Go, North Star, go!
- Go, North Star, go!
640
00:45:40,339 --> 00:45:43,274
Hey, Larry, you scored!
641
00:45:43,876 --> 00:45:47,869
Way to go! Okay, you guys,
feed Fink, he's our hot man.
642
00:45:49,415 --> 00:45:51,110
All right, there!
643
00:45:51,817 --> 00:45:52,909
Okay, cover me!
644
00:45:53,018 --> 00:45:56,647
Come on, let's go! Let's go!
Let's kill 'em!
645
00:45:56,756 --> 00:45:59,725
- Come on, guys. That's it.
- Oh, sure.
646
00:46:03,028 --> 00:46:06,464
Hey, Larry! Larry, again.
Do it again, Larry!
647
00:46:18,711 --> 00:46:19,609
- It's all right, it's okay!
- It's all right, it's okay!
648
00:46:19,712 --> 00:46:21,270
- We can beat 'em anyway!
- We can beat 'em anyway!
649
00:46:21,380 --> 00:46:22,972
- It's all right, it's okay!
- It's all right, it's okay!
650
00:46:23,082 --> 00:46:25,846
- We can beat 'em anyway!
- We can beat 'em anyway!
651
00:46:32,291 --> 00:46:35,556
Okay, the zone's not working.
652
00:46:35,694 --> 00:46:38,162
They're a little bit too good
to cover man to man,
653
00:46:38,264 --> 00:46:40,528
and we can't shoot for shit.
654
00:46:40,633 --> 00:46:42,260
What kind of talk is that
for a coach, huh?
655
00:46:42,368 --> 00:46:44,928
- Yeah, Trip.
- Look, I'm not gonna lie to you guys.
656
00:46:45,037 --> 00:46:47,028
There's no way
we're gonna beat this team.
657
00:46:47,139 --> 00:46:50,074
- What are we gonna do, Trip?
- We're gonna lose.
658
00:46:50,209 --> 00:46:51,836
What?
659
00:46:52,244 --> 00:46:55,611
But we can lose with some self-respect.
And here's the idea.
660
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:02,651
- Go, North Star, go!
- Go, North Star, go!
661
00:47:02,755 --> 00:47:05,121
- Go, North Star, go!
- Go, North Star, go!
662
00:47:10,496 --> 00:47:12,964
Morty, nice team spirit.
663
00:47:13,098 --> 00:47:15,692
I'll talk to you after the game, Tripper.
664
00:47:16,268 --> 00:47:17,701
- How we doing?
- Late as usual, Morty.
665
00:47:17,803 --> 00:47:19,361
Where were you, young man?
666
00:47:19,471 --> 00:47:22,065
Okay, you guys, a little teamwork, now.
667
00:47:29,248 --> 00:47:30,237
Yeah!
668
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:36,246
Beautiful.
669
00:47:40,993 --> 00:47:43,461
Spaz! Get in. Spaz, hurry up!
670
00:47:48,734 --> 00:47:52,568
This is the proudest moment
in North Star history!
671
00:48:15,427 --> 00:48:18,453
Forget it, Spaz. They all want me.
672
00:48:24,937 --> 00:48:27,269
You know,
Candace is sure looking good tonight.
673
00:48:27,373 --> 00:48:30,274
So he offered me 200 bucks
to run the sailing program.
674
00:48:30,376 --> 00:48:34,813
I said, "Forget it!" I mean, 200 bucks
doesn't even buy me a pair of shoes.
675
00:48:34,947 --> 00:48:36,608
I mean, I'm the best.
676
00:48:37,116 --> 00:48:39,311
Now the serious partying can begin.
677
00:48:39,451 --> 00:48:40,782
- Okay.
- Hey.
678
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:45,814
Okay! Virgins on the right,
non-virgins on the left.
679
00:48:46,292 --> 00:48:49,420
You fellows can divide them up
any way you like.
680
00:48:56,835 --> 00:48:58,598
I got the virgins this time,
you had them last time.
681
00:48:58,704 --> 00:49:00,399
Okay, you got them,
but I get them next time.
682
00:49:00,506 --> 00:49:02,030
- Okay, buddy.
- Let's go. There's two right there.
683
00:49:02,141 --> 00:49:03,369
Come on.
684
00:49:05,177 --> 00:49:06,439
- Hi, Roxanne.
- Hi, Morty.
685
00:49:06,545 --> 00:49:08,536
Really groovy tunes, eh?
686
00:49:11,216 --> 00:49:13,184
Hi, Jackie. Hi, Wendy.
687
00:49:15,054 --> 00:49:17,750
There's Jackie.
Why don't you go ask her to dance?
688
00:49:17,856 --> 00:49:22,452
- No, that Wendy's driving me wild.
- Yeah, but Jackie wants it.
689
00:49:24,263 --> 00:49:25,787
I have to talk with Roxanne
690
00:49:25,898 --> 00:49:28,093
about a highly personal matter
about one of the campers.
691
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:29,599
Will you excuse us for a second?
692
00:49:29,702 --> 00:49:31,465
- Yeah, well, I was...
- Yeah.
693
00:49:38,544 --> 00:49:42,776
Is that a bra you're wearing, or are you
expecting an assassination attempt?
694
00:49:45,551 --> 00:49:49,146
Are those Clorets in your pocket
or are you just glad to see me?
695
00:49:49,254 --> 00:49:53,486
Okay. We're even. Three years of this.
696
00:49:54,593 --> 00:49:59,053
I don't think I have many lines left.
Frankly, Roxanne, I'm frightened.
697
00:49:59,198 --> 00:50:01,792
Oh, don't go human on me now, Trip.
698
00:50:01,900 --> 00:50:04,130
I really like to dance.
699
00:50:04,603 --> 00:50:09,302
It's the music, I guess. It starts my feet
tapping and I get all happy inside.
700
00:50:09,541 --> 00:50:11,475
I guess it's just
something I was born with.
701
00:50:11,577 --> 00:50:13,511
Kind of a birth defect, huh?
702
00:50:14,179 --> 00:50:18,240
- Let's go get some air.
- I think not.
703
00:50:19,885 --> 00:50:21,853
Well, I'm trying.
704
00:50:23,889 --> 00:50:25,550
So, keep trying.
705
00:50:27,192 --> 00:50:29,888
I gotta go change the record.
706
00:50:32,297 --> 00:50:36,757
You can change the record,
but don't you change. Promise me?
707
00:50:38,871 --> 00:50:43,706
I'll be waiting right here. Hurry!
Rush, darling! Rush, darling.
708
00:51:17,743 --> 00:51:20,143
- You know something, A. L?
- What?
709
00:51:20,279 --> 00:51:24,739
- This is a very serious moment.
- It is?
710
00:51:25,184 --> 00:51:27,550
Don't you know what tonight is?
711
00:51:29,855 --> 00:51:32,323
Tonight's our third anniversary.
712
00:51:32,458 --> 00:51:35,950
- Three years ago, tonight, we met.
- Oh, that is serious.
713
00:51:36,095 --> 00:51:38,393
Oh, God, I'm sorry. I forgot.
714
00:51:49,408 --> 00:51:51,205
Happy anniversary.
715
00:51:55,013 --> 00:51:59,143
You know, Wheels, for a jerk,
you're really a nice guy.
716
00:51:59,685 --> 00:52:01,243
Well.
717
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:03,249
- Come on, let's dance.
- Oh, no.
718
00:52:03,355 --> 00:52:06,449
- Come on!
- No, I don't know how.
719
00:52:06,592 --> 00:52:10,722
One, two, three. Simple as that.
Come on, let's dance.
720
00:52:10,963 --> 00:52:12,897
I'll lead, you follow.
721
00:52:31,150 --> 00:52:32,276
Attention, campers.
722
00:52:32,384 --> 00:52:35,217
Arts and crafts has been canceled
due to bad taste.
723
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,788
All junior girls are now junior boys.
724
00:52:37,890 --> 00:52:38,948
And Nurse Omako says
725
00:52:39,057 --> 00:52:42,151
that the raccoon fever epidemic
is officially over.
726
00:52:42,361 --> 00:52:45,023
Hey, you on the water skis!
727
00:52:53,472 --> 00:52:57,499
- I saw you dancing with Roxanne.
- Oh, yeah?
728
00:53:00,145 --> 00:53:02,511
Well, she sort of cornered me,
729
00:53:02,648 --> 00:53:05,947
and there was nothing I could do
without embarrassing her.
730
00:53:06,318 --> 00:53:08,115
Do you like her?
731
00:53:10,022 --> 00:53:13,549
Well, I feel sorry for her, you know?
She's got a glass eye.
732
00:53:13,892 --> 00:53:15,860
And I'm one of the few people
733
00:53:15,994 --> 00:53:18,588
who knows exactly which eye to look at
when they're talking to her,
734
00:53:18,697 --> 00:53:21,461
so she's sort of fixated on me.
735
00:53:22,367 --> 00:53:24,232
Well, I like her.
736
00:53:24,369 --> 00:53:27,395
Well, you're not exactly
known for your taste.
737
00:53:28,540 --> 00:53:32,636
I'll probably just use her
for the rest of the summer, and then
738
00:53:32,945 --> 00:53:37,348
throw her on the scrap heap with all the
rest of the women that I've destroyed.
739
00:53:39,952 --> 00:53:42,011
I have to go on this overnight.
740
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:45,749
I'm taking the CITs on
an overnight for the next couple of days,
741
00:53:45,891 --> 00:53:47,916
so you're gonna have to
do your own training, son.
742
00:53:48,026 --> 00:53:51,086
I want you to run two miles today,
and two and a half tomorrow.
743
00:53:51,196 --> 00:53:52,595
I've never run that far.
744
00:53:52,698 --> 00:53:54,825
Neither have I,
but somebody's gotta do it.
745
00:53:54,933 --> 00:53:58,232
I can't be expected to do it.
Somebody's gotta do it,
746
00:53:58,370 --> 00:54:02,170
and it can't be me,
because I'm too busy.
747
00:54:02,274 --> 00:54:04,401
I have responsibilities.
748
00:54:04,543 --> 00:54:07,535
I'm the entertainment director
for the overnight.
749
00:54:07,713 --> 00:54:09,578
Come here.
750
00:54:09,715 --> 00:54:12,980
Somebody's gotta make these PA
announcements for me while I'm gone.
751
00:54:13,085 --> 00:54:15,747
Wake up. Lights out. Public Service.
752
00:54:15,887 --> 00:54:17,184
Otherwise, I'm gonna get
in a lot of trouble.
753
00:54:17,289 --> 00:54:18,381
- No.
- So, I'd appreciate it
754
00:54:18,490 --> 00:54:20,390
- if you could help me out on this...
- No, Trip, I don't wanna
755
00:54:20,492 --> 00:54:24,121
- do the announcement. No... Wear...
...and accept this nomination.
756
00:54:26,832 --> 00:54:28,026
- Trip.
- Okay, now,
757
00:54:28,133 --> 00:54:30,397
all you have to do is
turn on this power switch here.
758
00:54:30,502 --> 00:54:31,799
- Everything will be hunky-dory, okay?
- No, Trip,
759
00:54:31,903 --> 00:54:33,336
I don't wanna do the announcements.
Come on...
760
00:54:33,438 --> 00:54:36,407
And you can start by telling
all the CITs to meet me
761
00:54:36,508 --> 00:54:38,976
down at the boat dock immediamente.
762
00:54:39,111 --> 00:54:41,079
I'll see you in a couple days.
763
00:54:44,182 --> 00:54:47,618
Hey, remember,
run two miles, then two and a half,
764
00:54:47,753 --> 00:54:51,086
and then run three or four
if I don't come back, all right?
765
00:54:52,691 --> 00:54:55,455
- Problem?
- We don't have steering problems,
766
00:54:55,594 --> 00:54:56,686
we've got manpower problems.
767
00:54:56,795 --> 00:54:58,422
You're going too fast, Trip, slow down.
768
00:54:58,530 --> 00:55:00,498
Oh, no, don't.
769
00:55:01,133 --> 00:55:03,101
- Okay, Finkel.
- What?
770
00:55:03,201 --> 00:55:05,567
- Paddle!
- Hey, you're splashing me!
771
00:55:05,671 --> 00:55:07,138
Paddle!
772
00:55:07,272 --> 00:55:10,673
- Nice and even backstroke, Hardware.
- Yes, sir.
773
00:55:13,045 --> 00:55:17,846
Spaz, keep us in the sun.
I wanna even out my tan.
774
00:55:19,017 --> 00:55:21,645
Look at that! Got it?
775
00:55:23,989 --> 00:55:26,014
- Spaz!
- Hey, Spaz!
776
00:55:26,558 --> 00:55:32,360
You love me, baby
But I love you and you love me
777
00:55:32,497 --> 00:55:35,625
So let's just walla walla
778
00:55:35,767 --> 00:55:39,828
Six to eight hours a day
Down by the mango tree
779
00:55:39,971 --> 00:55:43,338
Dang it, you, dang it, you
Dang it, you said
780
00:55:43,642 --> 00:55:46,839
I love you
If you love me
781
00:55:46,978 --> 00:55:49,310
Come on, you know the words, Rocky!
782
00:55:49,448 --> 00:55:53,680
I love me, so let's walla walla
783
00:55:54,186 --> 00:55:57,781
Down by the mango tree
784
00:56:00,492 --> 00:56:04,292
And I love you, if you love me
785
00:56:04,963 --> 00:56:08,990
But you love you, and I love me
786
00:56:09,134 --> 00:56:13,537
So let's walla walla
Down by the mango tree
787
00:56:14,139 --> 00:56:18,371
Let's walla walla
Down by the mango tree
788
00:56:29,254 --> 00:56:31,347
Have you kissed many guys?
789
00:56:32,691 --> 00:56:36,457
- Does family count?
- No, like, I meant real guys.
790
00:56:37,229 --> 00:56:41,996
Well, two. Only, one was a real creep.
791
00:56:43,935 --> 00:56:46,529
How did the creep do it?
792
00:56:47,005 --> 00:56:48,802
Spaz, what do you mean,
how did he do it?
793
00:56:48,907 --> 00:56:53,640
No, like, I mean, did he ask you,
or did he just do it?
794
00:56:54,045 --> 00:56:56,309
He just did it.
795
00:56:59,918 --> 00:57:02,045
It's a weird moon.
796
00:57:03,789 --> 00:57:05,689
The moon kills, you know.
797
00:57:07,359 --> 00:57:09,088
It feeds off the earth.
798
00:57:10,195 --> 00:57:12,254
On a night like this,
799
00:57:12,431 --> 00:57:14,262
one of us could get up
in the middle of the night,
800
00:57:14,366 --> 00:57:16,732
grab an ax,
and cut somebody's head off.
801
00:57:19,604 --> 00:57:21,265
I remember a night like this
a few years ago.
802
00:57:21,373 --> 00:57:25,571
A guy and a girl went out driving,
it was one of their first dates.
803
00:57:25,710 --> 00:57:28,440
It started out kind of casual,
but they ended up deciding to go park,
804
00:57:28,547 --> 00:57:31,015
not too far from here,
as a matter of fact.
805
00:57:31,116 --> 00:57:34,085
While they're going at it,
listening to the radio,
806
00:57:34,219 --> 00:57:36,380
all of a sudden,
a news bulletin broke in.
807
00:57:36,488 --> 00:57:39,423
"A dangerous lunatic has escaped
808
00:57:39,558 --> 00:57:42,925
"from the hospital for
the criminally insane at Two Pines."
809
00:57:43,061 --> 00:57:44,961
Oh, come on, Trip.
810
00:57:45,096 --> 00:57:49,362
They described him as a monster,
six-and-a-half-feet tall,
811
00:57:49,468 --> 00:57:51,936
260 pounds,
812
00:57:52,137 --> 00:57:56,574
with one horrible distinguishing feature,
813
00:57:57,442 --> 00:58:01,708
a sharpened stainless-steel hook
814
00:58:03,014 --> 00:58:06,279
where his right hand used to be.
815
00:58:07,486 --> 00:58:09,283
That was enough for the guy.
816
00:58:09,421 --> 00:58:12,720
He slammed the car into gear,
floored it, bounced off a tree,
817
00:58:12,824 --> 00:58:15,156
didn't stop
till they got to the girl's house.
818
00:58:15,260 --> 00:58:18,093
Got out of his side,
walked around to hers.
819
00:58:18,263 --> 00:58:22,597
There, hanging in the door,
covered with blood,
820
00:58:23,535 --> 00:58:26,231
- was a stainless-steel hook.
- Oh!
821
00:58:26,338 --> 00:58:29,432
The strangest part,
is that after all these years,
822
00:58:29,541 --> 00:58:33,568
after the biggest manhunt
in Two Pines' history,
823
00:58:33,678 --> 00:58:35,976
they never found the killer.
824
00:58:38,049 --> 00:58:40,711
Some people say
he's still up here in the woods,
825
00:58:40,819 --> 00:58:43,413
waiting for the chance to kill again.
826
00:58:45,857 --> 00:58:47,757
And I say...
827
00:58:48,894 --> 00:58:50,987
I say they're right!
828
00:58:58,803 --> 00:59:01,829
- Hey, my dinner!
- Hey, listen, that's a bullshit story.
829
00:59:01,973 --> 00:59:04,373
No, you guys, it's true. I heard it before.
830
00:59:04,476 --> 00:59:06,637
- Yeah.
- Only, I heard it was on a beach.
831
00:59:06,745 --> 00:59:07,803
- Yeah.
- Yeah, well...
832
00:59:07,913 --> 00:59:09,540
No, I heard it happened in a park.
833
00:59:09,648 --> 00:59:13,015
Oh, I heard it,
but the guy was missing a foot.
834
00:59:13,151 --> 00:59:16,314
How could the guy have
a hook on his foot?
835
00:59:23,895 --> 00:59:27,456
- Now, that was nice, Tripper.
- Thank you.
836
00:59:28,567 --> 00:59:30,592
Thank you, very much.
837
00:59:31,202 --> 00:59:34,660
I think I am lying
on some sort of animal,
838
00:59:34,806 --> 00:59:38,105
like a porcupine.
839
00:59:38,310 --> 00:59:40,972
- Just a broken beer bottle.
- Oh.
840
00:59:41,079 --> 00:59:43,843
I was wondering
what you were yelling about.
841
00:59:45,884 --> 00:59:49,320
- Where are you going?
- I'm going swimming.
842
00:59:51,523 --> 00:59:54,822
- The water's great! Come on in.
- No!
843
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:56,928
You're not supposed to swim
for half an hour
844
00:59:57,028 --> 00:59:59,019
after close physical contact,
845
00:59:59,164 --> 01:00:02,600
- you get bad cramps.
- Come on, chicken, it's not so cold.
846
01:00:02,701 --> 01:00:05,499
- No, I know you're lying.
- Come on.
847
01:00:06,705 --> 01:00:08,605
All right.
848
01:00:14,879 --> 01:00:18,781
- It's not so bad, is it?
- Worse than I ever imagined!
849
01:00:19,351 --> 01:00:22,115
Come here, there's a real cold spot.
850
01:00:33,898 --> 01:00:35,661
I've heard of the buddy system,
but this is ridiculous.
851
01:00:35,767 --> 01:00:39,328
Tripper, you really talk too much.
852
01:00:39,437 --> 01:00:41,769
Well, I was just wondering if these
were shark-infested waters.
853
01:00:41,873 --> 01:00:43,465
Shut up.
854
01:00:49,581 --> 01:00:53,813
- Hey, there is a shark down there.
- My God, there is.
855
01:00:53,918 --> 01:00:55,010
I think we'd better go back
856
01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:58,248
to my sleeping bag
before something goes wrong.
857
01:01:01,059 --> 01:01:03,323
What happened? Where were you?
858
01:01:04,696 --> 01:01:08,063
- I was with Jackie in the woods.
- In the woods?
859
01:01:08,933 --> 01:01:11,163
- Right where you want her.
- Yes.
860
01:01:11,603 --> 01:01:16,097
Oh, Spaz! You old make-out master!
How far did you get?
861
01:01:16,241 --> 01:01:18,801
Oh, we just went down to Lookout Point,
and then we got cold...
862
01:01:18,910 --> 01:01:22,243
No, no, no, no! How did you make out?
863
01:01:22,380 --> 01:01:25,178
Well, you know, we just kind of talked.
864
01:01:25,283 --> 01:01:27,478
You had her in the woods,
and you just talked?
865
01:01:27,585 --> 01:01:29,450
- No, no, well...
- You didn't do anything.
866
01:01:29,554 --> 01:01:32,387
- We were sort of sitting...
- You didn't do anything!
867
01:01:32,490 --> 01:01:34,048
I...
868
01:01:34,559 --> 01:01:38,461
- I held her hand when we walked home.
- Held her hand?
869
01:01:40,465 --> 01:01:42,797
Spaz, you're on your way!
870
01:01:42,934 --> 01:01:44,902
- That's great!
- Yeah? Yeah?
871
01:01:45,003 --> 01:01:46,698
- Held her hand?
- Yeah.
872
01:01:46,805 --> 01:01:48,705
- In the woods?
- Yeah.
873
01:01:48,807 --> 01:01:51,105
- And it was dark?
- Yeah.
874
01:01:51,309 --> 01:01:53,106
Wow!
875
01:01:53,845 --> 01:01:57,781
- Let's celebrate.
- Huh? Right.
876
01:01:58,183 --> 01:02:00,151
Here, help yourself.
877
01:02:00,285 --> 01:02:03,482
- I think I'll have Cheezies.
- The Cheezies?
878
01:02:03,621 --> 01:02:06,715
Yeah. I'll have Cheezies, too.
879
01:02:13,698 --> 01:02:16,963
- Bobby?
- Oh, no.
880
01:02:17,936 --> 01:02:22,236
Oh, no, don't ever call me Bobby.
All right?
881
01:02:22,707 --> 01:02:26,643
I mean, my grandmother
calls me Bobby. I hate it.
882
01:02:26,778 --> 01:02:29,178
So, I like it when you call me Crockett.
883
01:02:29,314 --> 01:02:30,906
- Okay.
- All right?
884
01:02:32,016 --> 01:02:35,782
- Wanna hear me say it?
- Yeah, okay.
885
01:02:35,887 --> 01:02:38,253
Okay. Crockett.
886
01:02:41,459 --> 01:02:42,756
Crockett.
887
01:02:45,530 --> 01:02:47,191
Crockett.
888
01:03:44,823 --> 01:03:47,553
- Going in. Yes, you are.
- No, no, no, no!
889
01:03:57,535 --> 01:03:59,662
Looking good. All right!
890
01:04:02,106 --> 01:04:03,334
Important announcement!
891
01:04:03,441 --> 01:04:06,239
Some hunters have been seen
in the woods near Piney Ridge Trail,
892
01:04:06,344 --> 01:04:07,777
and the Fish and Game Commission
has raised
893
01:04:07,879 --> 01:04:10,507
the legal kill limit on campers to three!
894
01:04:10,615 --> 01:04:14,107
So, if you're hiking today, please wear
something bright, and keep low.
895
01:04:14,219 --> 01:04:15,584
Good luck.
896
01:04:25,964 --> 01:04:27,022
What's the matter with you?
897
01:04:27,131 --> 01:04:30,191
You're pacing like an expectant father
with the clap.
898
01:04:32,837 --> 01:04:36,000
- The Olympiad's tomorrow.
- So?
899
01:04:36,975 --> 01:04:39,944
- I wanna do well.
- You wanna do well?
900
01:04:40,044 --> 01:04:42,444
Bet every dime you got
on Camp Mohawk.
901
01:04:42,547 --> 01:04:44,947
I don't wanna mess up again.
902
01:04:45,717 --> 01:04:48,481
Well, let's see what you're entered in.
903
01:04:51,389 --> 01:04:54,153
Gerner, Gerner, Gerner.
904
01:04:55,193 --> 01:04:57,127
The potato race.
905
01:04:57,228 --> 01:05:00,629
Damn it, don't they know
you're just a kid?
906
01:05:00,732 --> 01:05:05,533
Two years ago,
a boy fell on a potato, mashed himself.
907
01:05:06,170 --> 01:05:10,368
Let's see what else you're in. Egg toss!
908
01:05:10,508 --> 01:05:11,975
Oh, no.
909
01:05:12,076 --> 01:05:16,479
Probably, the most punishing
of all food-related sports.
910
01:05:16,581 --> 01:05:20,745
- I'm good at that one.
- Sure, you got the build for it.
911
01:05:20,885 --> 01:05:22,318
Oh, don't worry.
912
01:05:22,420 --> 01:05:26,652
You won't screw up tomorrow,
no worse than anybody else, anyway.
913
01:05:27,759 --> 01:05:31,559
Are you gonna go and see Roxanne
after Morty's rally?
914
01:05:33,131 --> 01:05:34,928
Could be.
915
01:05:36,601 --> 01:05:38,125
After the way she treated me
on the overnight,
916
01:05:38,236 --> 01:05:41,763
I'm a little afraid to be alone with her,
and I think you know what I mean.
917
01:05:41,873 --> 01:05:44,273
I think you like her.
918
01:05:44,976 --> 01:05:49,208
Really. Admit it.
You really do like her, don't you?
919
01:05:50,615 --> 01:05:55,211
Yes, you do. Come on, admit it.
You like her.
920
01:05:56,421 --> 01:05:59,447
Ah, you like her. You won't admit it.
921
01:06:11,669 --> 01:06:13,398
You pig!
922
01:06:23,481 --> 01:06:26,416
Hi. I'm Morty Melnick.
923
01:06:26,517 --> 01:06:28,712
- Hi, Mickey!
- Hi, Mickey!
924
01:06:28,987 --> 01:06:31,512
And we at Camp North Star,
would like to welcome
925
01:06:31,622 --> 01:06:33,249
our Camp Mohawk competitors...
926
01:06:33,358 --> 01:06:36,088
- Camp North Star sucks!
- Camp North Star sucks!
927
01:06:36,194 --> 01:06:40,096
Let me at 'em, let me at 'em,
let me at 'em!
928
01:06:40,932 --> 01:06:42,365
Quiet down, quiet down.
929
01:06:42,467 --> 01:06:45,800
To our annual two-day Olympiad.
930
01:06:46,504 --> 01:06:49,769
So, let the games begin!
931
01:07:41,159 --> 01:07:43,525
Uh-oh.
932
01:07:44,762 --> 01:07:46,992
You got any last-minute advice, Trip?
933
01:07:47,098 --> 01:07:51,831
Yeah, try to jump very, very high.
934
01:07:53,271 --> 01:07:55,136
Hey, yeah. Thanks.
935
01:07:55,239 --> 01:07:57,298
Good luck.
936
01:08:01,379 --> 01:08:03,779
Well, we're getting creamed
all over the place.
937
01:08:03,881 --> 01:08:05,246
I'm your guy.
938
01:08:12,223 --> 01:08:14,418
- Come on, jump!
- Over!
939
01:08:16,561 --> 01:08:18,552
Hey, are you okay?
940
01:08:24,102 --> 01:08:26,002
Get into it! Come on, do it!
941
01:08:33,744 --> 01:08:36,713
Just let me know
when you've had enough, all right?
942
01:08:38,416 --> 01:08:40,145
You're out!
943
01:08:51,028 --> 01:08:52,359
- All right!
- Come on, Jackie!
944
01:08:52,463 --> 01:08:53,521
Come on!
945
01:08:53,631 --> 01:08:55,690
Go, go, go!
946
01:08:59,403 --> 01:09:02,429
- Watch out, Jackie!
- No, don't!
947
01:09:04,609 --> 01:09:05,837
Oh, my God!
948
01:09:11,749 --> 01:09:14,479
She's hurt. Hey, get the stretcher
from the infirmary.
949
01:09:14,585 --> 01:09:16,746
I think her leg's broken.
950
01:09:30,601 --> 01:09:34,970
Hey, gang, come on. Look it, just 'cause
we're losing, doesn't mean it's all over.
951
01:09:35,106 --> 01:09:36,334
Cut the crap, Morty.
952
01:09:36,440 --> 01:09:38,465
I mean, the Mohawks have beaten us
the last 12 years,
953
01:09:38,576 --> 01:09:39,873
they're gonna beat us again.
954
01:09:39,977 --> 01:09:44,243
That's just the attitude
we don't need, Phil.
955
01:09:45,082 --> 01:09:48,950
Sure. Mohawk has beaten us
12 years in a row.
956
01:09:49,086 --> 01:09:50,849
Sure, they're terrific athletes.
957
01:09:50,955 --> 01:09:52,718
They've got the best equipment
that money can buy.
958
01:09:52,823 --> 01:09:57,089
Hell, every team they're sending over
here has their own personal masseuse.
959
01:09:57,195 --> 01:09:59,595
Not masseur, masseuse.
960
01:10:00,164 --> 01:10:02,462
But it doesn't matter.
961
01:10:02,867 --> 01:10:07,270
Do you know that every Mohawk
competitor has an electrocardiogram,
962
01:10:07,371 --> 01:10:09,771
blood and urine tests every 48 hours,
963
01:10:09,874 --> 01:10:13,435
to see if there's any change
in his physical condition?
964
01:10:13,544 --> 01:10:16,104
Do you know that they use the most
sophisticated training methods
965
01:10:16,214 --> 01:10:18,978
from the Soviet Union,
East and West Germany,
966
01:10:19,116 --> 01:10:21,744
and the newest Olympic power,
Trinidad and Tobago?
967
01:10:21,852 --> 01:10:23,683
But it doesn't matter.
968
01:10:23,821 --> 01:10:27,814
It just doesn't matter!
It just doesn't matter!
969
01:10:27,959 --> 01:10:32,362
I tell you, it just doesn't matter!
It just doesn't matter!
970
01:10:32,496 --> 01:10:34,361
It just doesn't matter!
971
01:10:34,498 --> 01:10:38,264
- It just doesn't matter!
- It just doesn't matter!
972
01:10:38,369 --> 01:10:40,303
- It just doesn't matter!
- It just doesn't matter!
973
01:10:40,404 --> 01:10:45,034
And even...
And even if we win, if we win!
974
01:10:46,377 --> 01:10:48,436
Even if we win,
975
01:10:48,546 --> 01:10:51,208
even if we play so far over our heads
976
01:10:51,349 --> 01:10:54,648
that our noses bleed
for a week to ten days,
977
01:10:54,752 --> 01:10:59,553
even if God in heaven above
comes down and points his hand
978
01:10:59,690 --> 01:11:01,715
at our side of the field,
979
01:11:01,859 --> 01:11:04,555
even if every man, woman, and child
980
01:11:04,695 --> 01:11:09,132
held hands together
and prayed for us to win,
981
01:11:09,233 --> 01:11:11,531
it just wouldn't matter,
982
01:11:11,669 --> 01:11:14,832
because all the really good-Iooking girls
983
01:11:14,939 --> 01:11:17,271
would still go out
with the guys from Mohawk,
984
01:11:17,375 --> 01:11:20,037
'cause they got all the money!
985
01:11:21,445 --> 01:11:26,348
It just doesn't matter
if we win or we lose!
986
01:11:26,751 --> 01:11:29,515
It just doesn't matter.
987
01:11:29,654 --> 01:11:33,488
- It just doesn't matter!
- It just doesn't matter!
988
01:11:33,591 --> 01:11:36,856
- It just doesn't matter!
- It just doesn't matter!
989
01:12:01,285 --> 01:12:03,480
Starters, take your mark.
990
01:12:07,058 --> 01:12:10,255
- Come on!
- Come on!
991
01:13:07,752 --> 01:13:10,152
Okay, you guys. We got two outs,
it's the bottom of the ninth.
992
01:13:10,254 --> 01:13:12,154
Carla is our winning run
on second base.
993
01:13:12,256 --> 01:13:13,416
What do you think we ought to do, Trip?
994
01:13:13,524 --> 01:13:15,424
Well, Jody, I don't wanna put
any more pressure on you
995
01:13:15,526 --> 01:13:16,857
than is absolutely necessary,
996
01:13:16,961 --> 01:13:20,522
but there is a scout here today from
the New York Yankees organization,
997
01:13:20,631 --> 01:13:22,861
and if my ball club could win,
well, I would get a chance
998
01:13:22,967 --> 01:13:24,992
to coach at the professional level.
999
01:13:25,102 --> 01:13:28,196
Seriously, Jody. You see that girl
out there with the big boobs?
1000
01:13:28,305 --> 01:13:31,604
- Hit the ball to her, she can't catch.
- No sweat.
1001
01:13:31,709 --> 01:13:34,041
- All right. Well, let's go.
- Come on, Jody.
1002
01:13:34,145 --> 01:13:36,409
All right, Jody!
1003
01:13:46,323 --> 01:13:48,018
Double time, double time!
1004
01:14:11,348 --> 01:14:12,679
Come on, Wheels!
1005
01:14:15,619 --> 01:14:16,711
Go!
1006
01:14:35,840 --> 01:14:37,432
God, you're a pitstink.
1007
01:14:45,216 --> 01:14:46,911
Watch it, watch it.
1008
01:14:51,021 --> 01:14:54,354
One, two, three!
1009
01:15:00,030 --> 01:15:04,364
How could they do this to me?
I can't stack. I can't even walk.
1010
01:15:04,468 --> 01:15:07,665
Come off it, Spaz. You can so.
I've seen you walk.
1011
01:15:07,771 --> 01:15:11,207
Anyway, you can do anything
you want to, if you want to bad enough.
1012
01:15:11,308 --> 01:15:14,243
Besides, I know you can.
1013
01:15:15,379 --> 01:15:16,846
Come on.
1014
01:15:18,582 --> 01:15:23,884
- Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
- Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
1015
01:15:33,097 --> 01:15:34,621
Stackers get ready!
1016
01:15:34,798 --> 01:15:36,789
- Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
- Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
1017
01:15:36,901 --> 01:15:38,027
Get set!
1018
01:15:41,171 --> 01:15:44,902
- Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
- Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
1019
01:16:22,313 --> 01:16:23,678
Spaz!
1020
01:16:26,784 --> 01:16:29,617
You did it! I told you!
1021
01:16:38,062 --> 01:16:42,590
That's right, Fink.
Look at those steaming weenies.
1022
01:16:43,601 --> 01:16:45,592
And you know
what they're saying, Larry?
1023
01:16:46,170 --> 01:16:50,368
They're saying, "This is the year
that Fink beats The Stomach."
1024
01:16:52,710 --> 01:16:56,202
No. It's a couple of guys over here,
but they're saying it.
1025
01:16:57,314 --> 01:16:59,874
No! Save it.
1026
01:17:03,320 --> 01:17:05,845
Save it for this guy.
1027
01:17:31,115 --> 01:17:34,414
- What, no mustard?
- Okay, hands up.
1028
01:17:34,551 --> 01:17:36,519
You guys know the rules.
You got five minutes.
1029
01:17:36,620 --> 01:17:40,989
Half-eaten weenies don't count.
May the best man win. Ready, set...
1030
01:17:43,961 --> 01:17:46,327
You gotta want it, Fink!
1031
01:17:46,430 --> 01:17:49,991
Come on, give a hundred percent for us!
Come on!
1032
01:17:50,934 --> 01:17:55,030
Come on, you gotta want it, Larry.
You gotta want it. This is your year.
1033
01:17:55,139 --> 01:17:56,834
You gotta want it, Larry.
1034
01:17:58,742 --> 01:18:02,041
Every day I'm eating
more and more hot dogs.
1035
01:18:02,146 --> 01:18:05,673
Come on, pace.
Pace, baby. Left. Swallow.
1036
01:18:05,783 --> 01:18:09,378
Right. Swallow. Fight hard, Larry!
You gotta want it!
1037
01:18:10,721 --> 01:18:14,248
The Stomach's worried, Larry.
He doesn't want it bad enough.
1038
01:18:15,826 --> 01:18:20,456
Come on, Fink! This is weenie war! Eat!
1039
01:18:20,597 --> 01:18:23,532
Come on, stretch that stomach, Fink!
1040
01:18:24,735 --> 01:18:28,193
Come on, eat, Fink, eat! Eat!
1041
01:18:29,740 --> 01:18:33,767
Please! Please, Fink, please!
1042
01:18:34,812 --> 01:18:38,407
Larry! Larry! Come on! Eat, Fink!
1043
01:18:38,515 --> 01:18:40,710
Eat!
1044
01:18:45,589 --> 01:18:47,284
The winner!
1045
01:18:53,697 --> 01:18:58,031
- Way to go, Fink.
- You beat The Stomach, Larry.
1046
01:19:01,371 --> 01:19:03,601
All right, now, we're close,
and we could win this thing,
1047
01:19:03,707 --> 01:19:05,197
- so let's get serious.
- Damn right.
1048
01:19:05,309 --> 01:19:06,537
Now, there's only one event left,
1049
01:19:06,643 --> 01:19:09,339
it's a four-mile marathon,
it's worth 20 points.
1050
01:19:09,480 --> 01:19:12,574
Unfortunately, our best distance runner,
Jackie, broke her ankle.
1051
01:19:12,683 --> 01:19:14,446
You jerk.
1052
01:19:14,551 --> 01:19:17,884
So, we need a distance man.
Any ideas?
1053
01:19:18,021 --> 01:19:19,818
- You, buddy.
- Oh, don't look at me.
1054
01:19:19,923 --> 01:19:22,016
I'd be puking after the first mile.
1055
01:19:22,159 --> 01:19:24,753
- Well, somebody's gotta do it.
- Finkelstein's your man, sir.
1056
01:19:24,862 --> 01:19:27,854
- Larry Finkelstein.
- Yeah!
1057
01:19:29,433 --> 01:19:32,630
- Here's your man.
- Come on, Tripper. No!
1058
01:19:32,736 --> 01:19:36,172
- Where?
- Right here. Rudy Gerner.
1059
01:19:36,673 --> 01:19:38,163
Please don't.
1060
01:19:38,275 --> 01:19:40,368
- He's the best we got.
- Get serious.
1061
01:19:40,511 --> 01:19:43,480
I mean, no offense, Tripper,
but that kid can't even catch a football.
1062
01:19:43,580 --> 01:19:45,445
Well, for your information, Phillip,
1063
01:19:45,549 --> 01:19:49,883
Rudy is a three-time Junior State
Long-Distance Medal Award Winner.
1064
01:19:50,020 --> 01:19:51,988
- Bullshit!
- And he won
1065
01:19:52,089 --> 01:19:55,718
a presidential citation from
his Committee on Physical Fitness.
1066
01:19:56,360 --> 01:19:58,328
- He's lying to me. I know it, he's lying.
- Come on.
1067
01:19:58,428 --> 01:20:01,864
- I can't do it, Tripper.
- Yeah, you can. Believe me.
1068
01:20:01,965 --> 01:20:04,456
Morty, give him a chance.
No one else wants to...
1069
01:20:04,568 --> 01:20:07,230
Come on, Morty! Make up your mind!
1070
01:20:07,371 --> 01:20:10,033
Yeah, come on, Morty,
for once make a decision.
1071
01:20:11,642 --> 01:20:14,167
All right! Gerner runs the marathon.
1072
01:20:17,915 --> 01:20:20,713
What do you think our chances are?
1073
01:20:21,218 --> 01:20:25,245
- I hope I don't let you down, Tripper.
- You won't.
1074
01:20:25,556 --> 01:20:28,286
Let's go get laid before the race, huh?
1075
01:20:33,063 --> 01:20:34,690
- How's the leg?
- It's okay.
1076
01:20:34,798 --> 01:20:36,789
Yeah, for now,
but if you don't win, we cut it off.
1077
01:20:36,900 --> 01:20:39,130
Okay, here's the thing.
1078
01:20:39,403 --> 01:20:41,667
On open ground,
this guy could probably take you,
1079
01:20:41,772 --> 01:20:43,501
but you're running through the woods,
you got a chance.
1080
01:20:43,607 --> 01:20:45,802
You're smaller, and you can run
through the bushes a little faster.
1081
01:20:45,909 --> 01:20:48,275
You can duck underneath them,
you know, you're like a little rabbit.
1082
01:20:48,378 --> 01:20:49,606
Okay? You're Rudy Rabbit, okay?
1083
01:20:49,713 --> 01:20:52,341
When you're running, think,
"I'm Rudy the Rabbit", okay?
1084
01:20:52,449 --> 01:20:54,679
Stay with him, stay right behind him,
until you get to the woods.
1085
01:20:54,785 --> 01:20:56,844
When you get to the woods,
pass him, just fly by him.
1086
01:20:56,954 --> 01:20:59,013
Don't even look in the rear-view mirror.
Just move, move, move!
1087
01:20:59,122 --> 01:21:01,352
You gotta be way ahead of him
when you get to the edge of the woods,
1088
01:21:01,458 --> 01:21:03,392
'cause when you get out,
there's a half a mile of open ground,
1089
01:21:03,493 --> 01:21:04,983
and that's where you're gonna have
a lot of trouble.
1090
01:21:05,095 --> 01:21:07,393
You gotta have a hell of a lead
when you get out of the woods, okay?
1091
01:21:07,497 --> 01:21:09,260
All right, what's your name?
1092
01:21:09,399 --> 01:21:10,696
- Rudy Gerner.
- No, it's not.
1093
01:21:10,801 --> 01:21:12,200
It's Rudy the Rabbit, okay?
Rudy the Rabbit!
1094
01:21:12,302 --> 01:21:13,564
- What's your name?
- Rudy the Rabbit.
1095
01:21:13,670 --> 01:21:16,867
Rudy the Rabbit, the winner.
You're the winner, Rudy the Rabbit.
1096
01:21:16,974 --> 01:21:19,738
Let's hear it for him.
1097
01:21:25,983 --> 01:21:27,382
All right, come on.
1098
01:21:27,484 --> 01:21:30,578
Runners take your mark!
1099
01:21:31,755 --> 01:21:33,313
Get set!
1100
01:21:36,493 --> 01:21:40,623
Run, you rascal rabbit! Run!
1101
01:23:57,834 --> 01:24:00,769
My God, he's sprinting!
1102
01:24:48,985 --> 01:24:52,648
- Bye-bye, Rudy. You did real good.
- Thanks.
1103
01:24:52,789 --> 01:24:55,986
- You coming back next year?
- Yeah, for sure.
1104
01:24:56,126 --> 01:24:58,822
Well, stay in shape.
Get on a weight program.
1105
01:24:58,962 --> 01:25:00,452
Stop hanging around
with all those friends of yours,
1106
01:25:00,564 --> 01:25:02,589
they're a bad influence.
1107
01:25:02,699 --> 01:25:05,361
Thanks, Tripper, for everything.
1108
01:25:06,136 --> 01:25:07,967
Goodbye, champ.
1109
01:25:11,007 --> 01:25:13,441
Go to bed! Yeah.
1110
01:25:17,180 --> 01:25:18,841
Hey, look! There's Gerner!
1111
01:25:23,253 --> 01:25:27,314
- You wanna go to the final campfire?
- All right.
1112
01:25:29,493 --> 01:25:31,222
If I have to.
1113
01:25:36,399 --> 01:25:38,230
- Hey, Tripper.
- Hey, you guys.
1114
01:25:38,335 --> 01:25:39,359
Hey, Trip.
1115
01:25:39,503 --> 01:25:40,993
Hi.
1116
01:25:43,707 --> 01:25:45,140
Eddy.
1117
01:25:46,710 --> 01:25:48,575
I just wanna say thank you.
1118
01:25:48,712 --> 01:25:51,180
You've all been
a really terrific bunch of CITs,
1119
01:25:51,281 --> 01:25:53,977
and we've had...
All had a terrific summer,
1120
01:25:54,718 --> 01:25:58,586
except for a few minor incidents
that I don't wanna go into right now.
1121
01:25:58,722 --> 01:26:02,351
But, through it all, we share things,
and we become closer,
1122
01:26:02,459 --> 01:26:05,223
and that even makes it harder
to say goodbye,
1123
01:26:05,362 --> 01:26:07,023
but I hope you've learned a lot of things,
1124
01:26:07,130 --> 01:26:10,065
I know I have, and I... I just wanna say,
1125
01:26:11,635 --> 01:26:14,001
I hope to see you all
again next summer.
1126
01:26:14,104 --> 01:26:16,299
Can I have some applause
for this man, please?
1127
01:26:16,406 --> 01:26:17,634
- All right!
- Come on!
1128
01:26:17,741 --> 01:26:19,902
Hey! Way to go, Mickey!
1129
01:26:20,577 --> 01:26:22,511
Let's hear it for Mickey!
1130
01:26:22,779 --> 01:26:24,679
- Hey!
- Hey!
1131
01:26:25,482 --> 01:26:27,074
- All right.
- Oh, lovely!
1132
01:26:30,587 --> 01:26:34,216
- Can you get this?
- No.
1133
01:26:34,324 --> 01:26:36,121
Yeah, well, I'm very close.
1134
01:26:36,259 --> 01:26:37,726
- Are you close?
- No.
1135
01:26:37,827 --> 01:26:39,055
I can't hold it.
1136
01:26:39,162 --> 01:26:43,462
I can't hold it any longer!
Stick your finger in my ear!
1137
01:26:44,234 --> 01:26:45,565
Help!
1138
01:26:50,807 --> 01:26:53,571
Hey, save enough for us, Tripper.
1139
01:26:53,843 --> 01:26:55,105
Morty.
1140
01:26:55,245 --> 01:26:56,803
No hard feelings?
1141
01:27:04,421 --> 01:27:11,054
We are the CITs, so pity us
1142
01:27:11,161 --> 01:27:17,259
The kids are brats, the food is hideous
1143
01:27:18,134 --> 01:27:23,766
We're gonna smoke and drink
and fool around
1144
01:27:24,174 --> 01:27:26,608
We're nookie bound
1145
01:27:27,844 --> 01:27:34,010
We're the North Star CITs
1146
01:27:34,150 --> 01:27:38,746
We are the CITs, so pity us
1147
01:27:38,888 --> 01:27:42,756
The kids are brats, the food is hideous
1148
01:27:42,859 --> 01:27:46,522
We're gonna smoke and drink
and fool around
1149
01:27:46,663 --> 01:27:49,689
We're nookie bound
We're North Star CITs
1150
01:27:49,833 --> 01:27:51,095
Here we go!
1151
01:27:51,201 --> 01:27:53,795
We are the CITs, so pity us
1152
01:27:53,903 --> 01:27:57,202
The kids are brats, the food is hideous
1153
01:27:57,340 --> 01:28:00,104
We're gonna smoke and drink
and fool around
1154
01:28:00,210 --> 01:28:03,646
We're nookie bound
We're North Star CITs
1155
01:28:05,015 --> 01:28:11,511
We're the North Star CITs
1156
01:28:22,399 --> 01:28:23,991
Here we go, you guys! Let's go!
1157
01:28:24,100 --> 01:28:25,658
End of the summer. You happy?
1158
01:28:25,769 --> 01:28:27,964
- You ready?
- Okay. Okay.
1159
01:28:28,071 --> 01:28:30,369
- There we are.
- Everybody there?
1160
01:28:40,216 --> 01:28:43,515
- Where will I stay?
- My place. Where do you think?
1161
01:28:44,554 --> 01:28:48,081
- Is it big enough?
- It's got a double bed.
1162
01:28:48,391 --> 01:28:51,827
What's the matter with you? Haven't you
ever lived with anyone before?
1163
01:28:51,928 --> 01:28:54,556
No. Have you?
1164
01:28:57,400 --> 01:29:02,030
Pets, you know, a dog, a fish.
No, I haven't.
1165
01:29:03,373 --> 01:29:05,500
I've never asked anyone before.
1166
01:29:18,221 --> 01:29:19,620
Come on,
let's go say good bye to Morty.
1167
01:29:19,723 --> 01:29:21,452
Oh, no.
1168
01:29:28,465 --> 01:29:30,865
- Bye, Morty.
- Bye, Morty.
1169
01:29:33,303 --> 01:29:35,237
Have a nice winter.
1170
01:29:58,762 --> 01:30:01,959
My father's buying a camp next year.
You wanna go up?
1171
01:30:02,132 --> 01:30:06,501
No. I don't think so. I...
I kind of like it here.
1172
01:30:07,103 --> 01:30:08,127
Oh.
1173
01:30:43,306 --> 01:30:46,833
Camp
1174
01:30:48,011 --> 01:30:51,811
ho!
1175
01:32:18,935 --> 01:32:20,960
Tripper!
1176
01:32:23,106 --> 01:32:25,233
Somebody!
1177
01:33:18,161 --> 01:33:19,753
Somebody!