1 00:03:09,330 --> 00:03:12,790 They stand there, barking. 26 dogs. 2 00:03:12,910 --> 00:03:16,620 I see their mean faces. They've come to kill. 3 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,040 And they say to my boss, Bertold, 4 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:25,540 "Give us Boaz Rein, or we'll eat your customers. In one minute." 5 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:27,870 - 26 dogs? - Exactly. 6 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,990 How do you know there are 26 and not 30? 7 00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:34,290 I'm coming to that. 8 00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:41,370 - Well? - Well, what? 9 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:46,040 - Do you check it out? - What do you think happens? 10 00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:51,120 - I wake up. - At that point every time? 11 00:03:51,250 --> 00:03:53,580 Exactly. It always stops there. 12 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:56,540 - Since when? - It's been two and a half years. 13 00:03:56,660 --> 00:03:59,580 - And you call me at this hour? - Arsehole! 14 00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,370 Don't call me an arsehole. 15 00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:06,910 This dream is coming from somewhere. 16 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,410 I haven't told you everything. 17 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:13,410 - Like what? - You know, in Lebanon... 18 00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:15,660 What about Lebanon? 19 00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:19,330 At the start of the war, we went into Lebanese villages 20 00:04:19,450 --> 00:04:22,790 to search for wanted Palestinians. 21 00:04:23,910 --> 00:04:25,160 Yeah, and? 22 00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:46,660 When someone enters a village, the dogs smell it and bark to raise the alarm. 23 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:52,830 Everyone wakes up, and the fugitives take off. 24 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:57,870 Someone had to liquidate them, otherwise our men would have died. 25 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,870 But why you? 26 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,990 They knew I couldn't shoot a person. They said to me, 27 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,620 "Go ahead and shoot the dogs!" 28 00:05:24,330 --> 00:05:29,620 26 dogs, I remember every single one. 29 00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:35,540 Every face, every wound, the look in their eyes... 26 dogs. 30 00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:38,540 How long before they started appearing in your dreams? 31 00:05:38,660 --> 00:05:40,160 20 years. 32 00:05:40,830 --> 00:05:44,040 - Have you tried anything? - Like what? 33 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:48,370 Therapy, a psychiatrist, shiatsu, anything... 34 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:51,200 No, nothing. I called you. 35 00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:53,160 I'm just a film-maker! 36 00:05:53,290 --> 00:05:55,200 Can't films be therapeutic? 37 00:05:55,330 --> 00:05:58,990 You've dealt with all the issues in your films, right? 38 00:05:59,450 --> 00:06:02,160 But nothing like this. 39 00:06:02,290 --> 00:06:04,120 No flashbacks from Lebanon? 40 00:06:05,410 --> 00:06:08,870 No. Not really. 41 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,290 Are you sure? 42 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,040 No. 43 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,040 - Beirut, Sabra and Shatila? - What about it? 44 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,370 You were only 100 yards away from the massacre! 45 00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:23,200 More like 200 or 300 yards. 46 00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:27,290 The truth is that's not stored in my system. 47 00:06:27,410 --> 00:06:31,040 No flashbacks or dreams? You never think about it? 48 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,990 No, no. 49 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,120 No. 50 00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:42,580 You'll be OK, right? 51 00:06:43,330 --> 00:06:45,620 - You think so? - Sure. 52 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:49,040 You're sure? - Yes. I'll think of something. 53 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,990 - Sure? - Sure. 54 00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:33,290 The meeting with Boaz took place in the winter of 2006. 55 00:07:33,410 --> 00:07:38,330 That night, for the first time in 20 years, 56 00:07:38,450 --> 00:07:41,040 I had a flashback of the war in Lebanon. 57 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:45,700 Not just Lebanon, West Beirut. Not just Beirut, 58 00:07:45,830 --> 00:07:50,620 but the massacre at the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps. 59 00:09:17,330 --> 00:09:20,330 What's wrong? It's 6:30 in the morning! 60 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:26,870 We all have friends who are lawyers, doctors, therapists... 61 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,080 Sometimes that friendship costs them. 62 00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:34,080 But you wouldn't wake your lawyer friend at 6:30. 63 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:37,870 My lawyer is ten times cheaper than you. 64 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,620 I just don't understand. 65 00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:47,200 Why Boaz's dream with the dogs? 66 00:09:48,870 --> 00:09:53,200 Why that to jog my memory? It has nothing to do with me. 67 00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:58,330 Memory is fascinating. Take this psychological experiment... 68 00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:07,790 A group of people were shown ten childhood images. 69 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,490 Nine were really from their childhood and one was fake. 70 00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:19,490 Their portrait was pasted into a fairground they'd never visited. 71 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,450 80% recognised themselves... 72 00:10:27,580 --> 00:10:30,990 They recognised the fake photo as real! 73 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,200 20% couldn't remember. 74 00:10:34,330 --> 00:10:36,740 The researchers asked them again. 75 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,740 The second time, the others said that they remembered the image. 76 00:10:42,410 --> 00:10:46,080 "Such a wonderful day at the park with my parents." 77 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,660 They remembered a completely fabricated experience. 78 00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:53,910 Memory is dynamic. It's alive. 79 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:57,370 If some details are missing, 80 00:10:57,500 --> 00:11:02,290 memory fills the holes with things that never happened. 81 00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:11,450 So my vision of the massacre is like the fake photo? 82 00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:16,200 It never happened? I invented it? It's not real? 83 00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:19,620 I don't know. Who was there with you? 84 00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:23,490 Carmi was there. You know him from school. 85 00:11:24,790 --> 00:11:27,660 And someone else I don't recognise. 86 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:33,330 - So ask Carmi what he remembers. - He's in Holland. 87 00:11:33,450 --> 00:11:36,040 He's lived there for 20 years. 88 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:40,290 Go to Holland and ask him if it's bothering you. 89 00:11:40,410 --> 00:11:41,790 Isn't that dangerous? 90 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:45,990 Maybe I'll discover things I don't want to know about myself. 91 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,870 Not at all. 92 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:52,370 You'll discover important things that you want to know. 93 00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:56,700 We don't go to places if we really don't want to. 94 00:11:56,830 --> 00:12:01,540 A human mechanism prevents us from entering dark places. 95 00:12:01,660 --> 00:12:05,580 Memory takes us where we need to go. 96 00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,580 See all that? 97 00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:47,040 Yes. 98 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,160 It's all mine. 99 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,580 All of it? 100 00:12:54,330 --> 00:12:57,200 From those trees to the river. 101 00:12:57,330 --> 00:12:59,790 - It all belongs to you? - Yes, and the house. 102 00:13:00,790 --> 00:13:02,870 It's about ten acres. 103 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,740 - All that just from selling falafel? - Just from falafel. 104 00:13:08,870 --> 00:13:11,910 - Wow. - Come and see. 105 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,740 - How much falafel did you sell? - Three years was enough. 106 00:13:20,790 --> 00:13:24,830 In the early '90s I had a small stand in Utrecht. 107 00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:29,200 Health food was in fashion. The Middle East too... 108 00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:32,330 Falafel is both healthy and Middle Eastern. 109 00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:37,370 Everyone thought you'd become a nuclear physicist. 110 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,410 Who did? 111 00:13:39,870 --> 00:13:43,620 I don't know - your family, my family, our school friends. 112 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:48,580 They thought that by the age of 40 you'd be nominated for a Nobel Prize. 113 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,580 By 20 that future was over. 114 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,490 Cold? 115 00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:58,870 - Cold? I'm freezing. - Let's go inside. 116 00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:02,660 Do we have to walk all that way? 117 00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:06,620 It's funny you've showed up now. 118 00:14:06,750 --> 00:14:08,910 - Why? - When you called... 119 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:14,200 I had just gone out with my son Thomas. He's seven. 120 00:14:14,330 --> 00:14:18,450 He was playing with a toy gun and started asking questions. 121 00:14:18,580 --> 00:14:21,660 "What did you do in the army? Ever shoot anyone?" 122 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,160 - Did you? - I don't know. 123 00:14:25,290 --> 00:14:28,160 Let's go inside and warm up. 124 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:33,870 Would you mind if I sketched you and your son playing in the snow? 125 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,540 No. 126 00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:39,200 Not at all. Draw as much as you like. 127 00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:41,160 I'll fetch him. 128 00:14:41,290 --> 00:14:44,410 It's fine as long as you draw but don't film. 129 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:59,490 As strange as it sounds, we were transported to war 130 00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:05,160 on a little "Love Boat", leased by the army or God knows what. 131 00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:09,870 They wanted to mislead the enemy and launch a surprise attack. 132 00:16:10,660 --> 00:16:16,580 What do you mean a "Love Boat"? With Jacuzzis and bars? 133 00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:22,290 - All of that? - That's how I imagined it. 134 00:16:22,410 --> 00:16:29,080 I later found out it was just an old commando boat. 135 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:34,080 For 18 you seemed pretty bright to me. I never took you for a fighter. 136 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:38,370 Frankly, it was important to me for a fairly practical reason. 137 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:42,740 I felt like everyone else was screwing like rabbits, 138 00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:45,950 and that I was the only... How can I put it? 139 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,740 The only nerd, good at chess and maths... 140 00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:53,200 but with masculinity problems. 141 00:16:53,330 --> 00:16:55,200 So I had to prove to everyone 142 00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:58,540 that I was the best fighter and some big hero. 143 00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:00,660 Did you succeed? 144 00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:03,370 Yes, surprisingly enough. 145 00:17:04,450 --> 00:17:07,040 I felt that I was strong and capable. 146 00:17:08,410 --> 00:17:14,160 Then the war started and they put us on that damned "Love Boat". 147 00:17:15,370 --> 00:17:18,740 - Then I... - You what? 148 00:17:18,870 --> 00:17:23,660 I puked like a pig! I wondered what the enemy would think. 149 00:17:25,370 --> 00:17:28,200 In the end I collapsed on deck and fell asleep. 150 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,790 I sleep when I'm scared. 151 00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:36,160 To this day, I escape into sleep and hallucinate. 152 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,910 Unconscious on the deck... 153 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:28,490 dreaming a woman would come... 154 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,290 and take me for the first time... 155 00:18:39,330 --> 00:18:44,200 I saw my best friends go up in flames before my eyes. 156 00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:47,540 - Where? - On the boat. 157 00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:25,040 I woke up just before we docked. It's dawn, and we're in a city. 158 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,740 - Which city? - How should I know? 159 00:19:28,290 --> 00:19:30,290 Sidon, I think. 160 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:35,580 Out of pure fear and anxiety we start shooting like lunatics. 161 00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,660 - Who at? - How do I know? 162 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,990 Then an old Mercedes drives up. 163 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:48,660 Everyone fires at it like mad. 164 00:19:52,830 --> 00:19:55,580 Two years of training, and the fear, 165 00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:58,200 the uncontrollable fear... 166 00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:06,120 Then the silence. The terrible silence of death. 167 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,240 At daybreak... 168 00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:15,580 we could see our destruction... 169 00:20:18,580 --> 00:20:21,040 without knowing where we were. 170 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,450 Lying in the car... 171 00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:27,040 What was in the car? 172 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,910 The bodies of a whole family. 173 00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:32,240 Why did you come here? 174 00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:34,660 Me? I... 175 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,410 I lost my memory. 176 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,580 - In an accident? - What? 177 00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:43,410 - Did you have an accident? - What do you mean? 178 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:47,240 In a car or at work? 179 00:20:47,370 --> 00:20:49,490 No, I didn't have an accident. 180 00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:54,700 I just can't remember anything about the Lebanon War. 181 00:20:54,830 --> 00:20:58,870 Just one image in my mind. 182 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:03,660 Somehow you're in it. 183 00:21:04,660 --> 00:21:06,740 What image? 184 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,290 Were you there too? 185 00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:48,990 It's hard to say. 186 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:51,200 What do you mean? Were you there? 187 00:21:51,330 --> 00:21:52,950 It's hard to say. 188 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,580 I don't remember anything about the massacre. 189 00:21:57,330 --> 00:22:01,370 But you were in Beirut when the massacre took place. 190 00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:03,290 Yes, I remember being there. 191 00:22:03,410 --> 00:22:06,450 I'll never forget us marching into Beirut. 192 00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:09,580 But the massacre... How did you put it? 193 00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:12,660 That's not stored in my system. 194 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,950 - Right. - Massacre... 195 00:22:52,370 --> 00:22:57,120 Then it happened, in a taxi to Amsterdam airport... 196 00:22:57,250 --> 00:22:59,870 Suddenly all the memories came back. 197 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,950 Not a hallucination, nor my subconscious. 198 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:08,040 The first day of the war. Barely 19, I haven't even started shaving. 199 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,700 We're driving down a road - orchards on one side, 200 00:23:11,830 --> 00:23:13,540 the sea on the other, 201 00:23:13,660 --> 00:23:18,240 we're shooting everywhere, at everything, until nightfall. 202 00:23:23,410 --> 00:23:27,490 That evening, when we stopped, an officer says to me, 203 00:23:27,620 --> 00:23:31,160 "Load up the dead and wounded. 204 00:23:31,290 --> 00:23:33,330 "Go and dump them." 205 00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:37,080 - "Dump?" - "Yes, dump." 206 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,370 "Where?" 207 00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:45,700 "How should I know? Out there, near that bright light. 208 00:23:45,830 --> 00:23:48,200 "That's where they're dumped." 209 00:23:54,830 --> 00:23:58,160 So I drive all the way back. 210 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:03,990 I had never seen an open wound or any kind of bleeding before. 211 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,370 Now I was in command of a tank, 212 00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:11,660 full of the dead and wounded, looking for a bright light, salvation. 213 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,370 What should we do? Why don't you tell us what to do? 214 00:24:22,750 --> 00:24:24,870 - Shoot. - At who? 215 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,950 How do I know? Just shoot. 216 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:30,870 - Isn't it better to pray? - Then pray and shoot. 217 00:24:42,410 --> 00:24:46,740 Finally, we see the helicopter lights. Like halos. 218 00:24:46,870 --> 00:24:51,990 As we get closer to the light, we see the dead and wounded everywhere. 219 00:25:26,870 --> 00:25:32,080 We unload mechanically, as if we're not even present. 220 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,160 Then we turn around and drive off. 221 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:04,580 On the first day of the war 222 00:26:04,700 --> 00:26:08,040 I transported the dead and wounded 223 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,450 from tanks on the coast road. 224 00:26:11,580 --> 00:26:14,160 I'm looking for people who were with me. 225 00:26:14,290 --> 00:26:17,700 Could your men have been among them? 226 00:26:17,830 --> 00:26:23,660 It sounds logical... We were in the coastal area. 227 00:26:23,790 --> 00:26:26,740 In the western sector... It's possible. 228 00:26:26,870 --> 00:26:30,200 Do you recognise me here? 229 00:26:33,580 --> 00:26:35,080 No. 230 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:39,660 I don't recognise myself either. 231 00:26:53,540 --> 00:26:58,490 Crossing the border at Rosh Hanikra, it felt like an excursion. 232 00:26:58,620 --> 00:27:02,700 We took photos, we told jokes... 233 00:27:02,830 --> 00:27:06,990 We had time to fool around before going into action. 234 00:27:08,620 --> 00:27:14,870 Good morning, Lebanon 235 00:27:15,620 --> 00:27:21,870 Good morning, Lebanon 236 00:27:22,830 --> 00:27:29,120 Too much pain to carry on 237 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:35,540 Good morning, Lebanon 238 00:27:36,450 --> 00:27:41,830 The landscape was beautiful, trees all around. 239 00:27:41,950 --> 00:27:47,540 A few scattered houses... A really idyllic pastoral scene. 240 00:27:47,660 --> 00:27:51,160 The slow drive allowed us to enjoy the scenery. 241 00:27:51,290 --> 00:27:57,950 May your dreams come true 242 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:05,160 May your nightmares pass 243 00:28:06,250 --> 00:28:11,790 Your existence is a blessing, Lebanon... 244 00:28:11,910 --> 00:28:15,540 In a tank, you always feel really safe. 245 00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:20,700 A tank is a massive, enclosed vehicle. 246 00:28:20,830 --> 00:28:22,870 Inside the tank, 247 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,700 we were protected. 248 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:34,240 You are torn to pieces 249 00:28:35,330 --> 00:28:42,410 You bleed to death in my arms 250 00:28:42,540 --> 00:28:48,790 You are the love of my life 251 00:28:49,830 --> 00:28:56,120 Oh, my short, short life 252 00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:02,330 Tear me to pieces 253 00:29:04,250 --> 00:29:06,950 I'm bleeding... 254 00:29:10,700 --> 00:29:16,160 Suddenly our commander stopped responding. We lost contact. 255 00:29:16,290 --> 00:29:18,040 - Was he beside you? - Yes. 256 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:23,160 I saw his head slumped forward. 257 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:28,870 I went inside and saw blood, blood in the tank. 258 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:34,830 The blood was coming from his neck. 259 00:29:37,330 --> 00:29:41,660 - You were next in command? - Yes, I was. 260 00:29:41,790 --> 00:29:44,700 But I didn't react immediately. 261 00:29:44,830 --> 00:29:49,830 We just stayed in the tank without even thinking of firing back. 262 00:29:53,790 --> 00:29:55,990 Two minutes later, there was an explosion. 263 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:59,370 Everyone hysterically tried to escape from the tank... 264 00:30:03,450 --> 00:30:06,990 without weapons or anything... 265 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:10,410 Those who stayed inside, were killed in the tank. 266 00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:19,120 I ran as fast as I could 267 00:30:19,250 --> 00:30:22,290 in zigzags towards the sea. 268 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,620 My only thought - 269 00:30:43,750 --> 00:30:47,490 it's over, I'm done for. 270 00:30:48,540 --> 00:30:53,040 They'll be here any minute. All I can do is wait for the end. 271 00:30:59,660 --> 00:31:03,870 I saw the building from which they were shooting, and the commander. 272 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:08,370 I hoped he'd get closer. 273 00:31:36,250 --> 00:31:40,490 I don't know why, but he started to retreat. 274 00:31:51,870 --> 00:31:56,240 I felt abandoned by our forces. 275 00:32:01,370 --> 00:32:05,540 I imagined how my mother would react. 276 00:32:06,290 --> 00:32:10,450 We're very close. I was always like her right hand. 277 00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:16,080 I'm the only one who helps out at home. 278 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:18,950 Like the first-born son. 279 00:32:21,790 --> 00:32:26,540 I took a peek. I saw them chatting, smoking. 280 00:32:26,660 --> 00:32:30,830 I wondered why they didn't notice me. 281 00:32:32,830 --> 00:32:37,200 I peeked a few more times, I realised that they probably thought 282 00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:42,160 that everyone had been killed in the attack. 283 00:32:42,290 --> 00:32:45,790 I decided to wait until dark. 284 00:32:45,910 --> 00:32:48,490 I had a good place to hide. 285 00:32:57,500 --> 00:33:02,910 I don't know why, but I decided to crawl out to sea. 286 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:13,830 I didn't want to stay close to the shore, so I swam quite a long way out. 287 00:33:15,410 --> 00:33:20,410 When I felt I was far enough out I started swimming south. 288 00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:25,700 - How was the sea? - Really calm, no waves. 289 00:33:26,790 --> 00:33:29,870 I felt calm and at peace. Just me and the sea. 290 00:33:45,450 --> 00:33:48,870 I felt safe, because the sea was calm and peaceful. 291 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,540 But I was still really afraid that... 292 00:33:53,450 --> 00:33:56,990 that my strength would fail and I'd drown. 293 00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:02,120 Or maybe someone would spot me and shoot at me, kill me. 294 00:34:12,910 --> 00:34:17,830 While swimming through this peaceful water, 295 00:34:17,950 --> 00:34:21,370 I suddenly heard a loud noise. 296 00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:23,870 I felt the water pulsating. 297 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:28,330 I felt the turbulent water enveloping me. 298 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,120 My body shook with fear. 299 00:35:02,660 --> 00:35:07,240 I saw lights in the distance and I headed in that direction. 300 00:35:07,370 --> 00:35:10,240 They might be Israeli forces. 301 00:35:10,370 --> 00:35:14,700 I kept swimming but felt my strength was dwindling. 302 00:35:14,830 --> 00:35:17,540 I could barely move my limbs. 303 00:35:28,870 --> 00:35:33,040 Sometimes I simply let the water carry me along. 304 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,870 I eventually reached the shore and started walking. 305 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:49,790 I heard voices speaking Hebrew on the two-way radio. 306 00:35:50,660 --> 00:35:53,160 I knew... 307 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:58,240 that I had to get to them, despite my exhaustion. 308 00:36:05,750 --> 00:36:09,910 To my amazement, it was the regiment that had abandoned me. 309 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,990 After I got back to my regiment, 310 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,620 I felt like... 311 00:36:22,290 --> 00:36:25,700 like it was me who had abandoned my comrades. 312 00:36:25,830 --> 00:36:28,450 I always felt that they regarded me as... 313 00:36:33,250 --> 00:36:37,240 as someone who didn't help rescue his friends, 314 00:36:37,370 --> 00:36:44,410 as if I had fled the battlefield just to save my own skin. 315 00:36:44,540 --> 00:36:47,040 I sometimes felt very uneasy. 316 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,370 I broke off contact with the families of the dead. 317 00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:55,950 At first I visited their graves, but then I just stopped. 318 00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:01,330 I wanted to forget. I didn't want to relive those moments. 319 00:37:02,330 --> 00:37:06,790 - Visiting the graves, you felt... - Guilty. 320 00:37:06,910 --> 00:37:10,620 I felt guilty standing at their graves. 321 00:37:10,750 --> 00:37:14,490 As if I didn't do enough. I didn't do enough. 322 00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:21,620 I wasn't the hero type who carries weapons and saves everyone's lives. 323 00:37:21,750 --> 00:37:25,080 That's not me. I'm not the type. 324 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,080 I bombed Sidon today 325 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:12,370 Amid the clouds of smoke at dawn 326 00:38:13,370 --> 00:38:17,540 I almost went home in a coffin 327 00:38:18,620 --> 00:38:22,080 I bombed Sidon today 328 00:38:26,660 --> 00:38:30,240 One month after Ronnie Dayag swam back home safely, 329 00:38:30,370 --> 00:38:34,240 the army took the beach from which he had fled. 330 00:38:34,370 --> 00:38:38,330 They told us we'd soon attack Beirut and that we'd all die. 331 00:38:38,910 --> 00:38:43,450 But on the beach, we didn't think much about death. 332 00:38:43,580 --> 00:38:46,160 I had a hut made from banana leaves. 333 00:38:46,290 --> 00:38:48,370 Thinking back, 334 00:38:48,500 --> 00:38:53,910 the smell of patchouli oil still makes me nauseous. 335 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,370 It was really popular in the '80s. 336 00:38:58,500 --> 00:39:00,290 For my roommate Frenkel 337 00:39:00,410 --> 00:39:06,290 patchouli wasn't just a fragrance, it was a way of life. 338 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:38,040 Patchouli... How do you use it? 339 00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:39,830 Show me. 340 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:45,240 You put a drop on your hand, like this. 341 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:58,870 This way your comrades always know you're there. 342 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,950 I remember my men saying to me, 343 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:08,200 "Frenkel, you walk too fast. Like a rabbit." 344 00:40:10,660 --> 00:40:14,410 So what do you do? Patchouli. 345 00:40:14,540 --> 00:40:18,410 In the dark, at night, they couldn't miss me. 346 00:40:18,540 --> 00:40:22,790 The scent is really strong, even out in the field. 347 00:40:23,450 --> 00:40:25,080 I still use it. 348 00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:30,950 I bombed Beirut today 349 00:40:32,540 --> 00:40:36,290 I bombed Beirut every day 350 00:40:37,750 --> 00:40:41,700 If I came close to death I couldn't say 351 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,290 I bombed Beirut every day 352 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,700 At the pull of a trigger 353 00:40:53,580 --> 00:40:56,950 We can send strangers straight to Hell 354 00:40:58,790 --> 00:41:03,370 Sure, we kill some innocent people along the way 355 00:41:04,330 --> 00:41:08,490 If I came close to death I couldn't say 356 00:41:09,540 --> 00:41:12,660 I bombed Beirut every day 357 00:41:13,750 --> 00:41:15,830 Our daily routine was this - 358 00:41:17,450 --> 00:41:18,990 get up in the morning... 359 00:41:20,290 --> 00:41:24,870 make breakfast in those frying pans, 360 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,240 potted beef and eggs. 361 00:41:27,370 --> 00:41:29,490 - On the beach. - On the beach. 362 00:41:30,410 --> 00:41:31,620 Have a quick swim... 363 00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,910 back into uniform, then go after some terrorists. 364 00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,370 Someone shouted, "Frenkel!" 365 00:43:07,370 --> 00:43:09,660 I noticed a boy holding an RPG. 366 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,620 A kid. 367 00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,330 Frenkel, was I there too? 368 00:43:27,830 --> 00:43:32,790 Sure. From training camp, you were with me wherever I went. 369 00:43:33,330 --> 00:43:35,870 - Even there? - Yes, there too. 370 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:39,120 Good to know. Of course I was there. 371 00:43:40,700 --> 00:43:44,950 Is it possible that I can't remember such a dramatic event? 372 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:47,370 We call them "dissociative events". 373 00:43:47,500 --> 00:43:52,120 It's when a person is in a situation but feels outside it. 374 00:43:52,250 --> 00:43:56,540 I was once visited by a young man, an amateur photographer. 375 00:43:56,660 --> 00:44:00,290 I asked him in 1983, "How did you get through that gruelling war?" 376 00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:05,540 He replied, "It was quite easy. I regarded it as a long day-trip." 377 00:44:05,660 --> 00:44:09,410 He said to himself, "Wow! What great scenes - 378 00:44:09,540 --> 00:44:12,830 "shooting, artillery, wounded people, screaming..." 379 00:44:12,950 --> 00:44:18,080 He looked at everything as if through an imaginary camera. 380 00:44:31,500 --> 00:44:33,740 Then something happened... 381 00:44:34,580 --> 00:44:36,990 his "camera" broke. 382 00:44:49,750 --> 00:44:52,870 He said that the situation turned traumatic for him 383 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:57,740 when they arrived in the vicinity of the stables in Beirut. 384 00:44:57,870 --> 00:44:59,290 The Hippodrome. 385 00:44:59,410 --> 00:45:03,490 He saw a huge number of carcasses 386 00:45:03,620 --> 00:45:07,660 of slaughtered Arabian horses. 387 00:45:07,790 --> 00:45:13,450 "It broke my heart", he said. "What had those horses done 388 00:45:13,580 --> 00:45:16,080 "to deserve such suffering?" 389 00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:19,950 He couldn't handle seeing those dead and wounded horses. 390 00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,160 He had used a mechanism to remain outside events, 391 00:45:23,290 --> 00:45:26,990 as if watching the war on film instead of participating. 392 00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,490 This protected him. 393 00:45:29,620 --> 00:45:33,990 Once pulled into the events, he could no longer deny reality. 394 00:45:34,870 --> 00:45:38,620 Horror surrounded him and he freaked out. 395 00:45:45,870 --> 00:45:50,330 You told me earlier that you can't remember being in the orchard 396 00:45:50,450 --> 00:45:53,490 where the boy with the RPG was. 397 00:45:53,620 --> 00:45:57,200 Can you remember other things - like going home, 398 00:45:57,330 --> 00:46:00,290 chatting with friends, events from that time, 399 00:46:00,410 --> 00:46:04,660 something that maybe reminds you of that time? 400 00:46:04,790 --> 00:46:08,040 - Yes, in detail. - For example? 401 00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,990 I can remember every leave perfectly. 402 00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:04,740 I remember when I was about ten, there was a war going on. 403 00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:09,040 And everything came to a halt. All the fathers were at the front. 404 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:13,700 All the children sat with their mothers, closed up indoors, 405 00:47:13,830 --> 00:47:16,540 behind closed blinds in the dark. 406 00:47:16,660 --> 00:47:20,410 Just waiting for a plane to drop a bomb and kill them all. 407 00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,870 No one even dreamed of going outside. 408 00:47:26,660 --> 00:47:31,580 When I went home from Lebanon, for the first time in six weeks 409 00:47:31,700 --> 00:47:35,410 I saw that life was carrying on normally. 410 00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:52,330 My goal on leave was to get back with my girlfriend, Yaeli. 411 00:47:52,450 --> 00:47:55,580 She had dumped me the night before all of this started. 412 00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:19,950 Remember how? Add some Sprite... 413 00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:22,450 Ready? 414 00:48:27,580 --> 00:48:28,830 Bottoms up! 415 00:48:32,580 --> 00:48:34,830 The memories are coming back. 416 00:48:34,950 --> 00:48:40,040 I've met people who served with me. I almost have the full picture. 417 00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,490 - At what point? - The first day of the war, 418 00:48:43,620 --> 00:48:46,370 the siege of Beirut. 419 00:48:46,500 --> 00:48:49,580 You remember that Yaeli dumped you a week before? 420 00:48:49,700 --> 00:48:50,990 How do you know? 421 00:48:54,950 --> 00:48:58,160 Didn't you know that I was in love with her for years? 422 00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:02,330 No, I didn't know that. 423 00:49:03,330 --> 00:49:04,620 It's true. 424 00:49:06,910 --> 00:49:09,450 What's wrong? That was 20 years ago. 425 00:49:09,580 --> 00:49:12,490 It's OK. I'm not angry. 426 00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:18,200 At least you had your home, your family. 427 00:49:18,330 --> 00:49:21,370 What home? What family? 428 00:49:22,250 --> 00:49:24,040 You have no idea. 429 00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:26,040 My father... 430 00:49:27,660 --> 00:49:31,540 To comfort me, he told me that in his war, 431 00:49:31,660 --> 00:49:34,040 World War II, 432 00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:35,740 Russian soldiers in Stalingrad 433 00:49:35,870 --> 00:49:39,330 were given 48 hours leave only after one year at the front. 434 00:49:48,750 --> 00:49:53,540 They got on a train, arrived home at the station... 435 00:49:54,450 --> 00:49:56,910 kissed their girlfriends on the platform, 436 00:49:57,040 --> 00:50:00,580 then had to get back on board to head back to the front. 437 00:50:01,830 --> 00:50:03,290 Understand? 438 00:50:06,370 --> 00:50:11,540 He thought it would comfort me. In fact, he was right. 439 00:50:11,660 --> 00:50:15,290 After only 24 hours I was called back to duty. 440 00:50:15,410 --> 00:50:18,660 A new trend started at that time - car bombs. 441 00:50:18,790 --> 00:50:20,950 Still popular today. 442 00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:23,580 They're a blast! 443 00:50:23,700 --> 00:50:26,080 A real blast! 444 00:50:27,540 --> 00:50:32,120 So I arrive at this villa on the outskirts of Beirut. 445 00:50:38,540 --> 00:50:41,120 Everything is made of gold. 446 00:50:41,250 --> 00:50:45,490 Fancy sinks, marble, gold fixtures and all that stuff. 447 00:50:47,750 --> 00:50:52,450 An officer sits in front of the TV. He doesn't look at me. 448 00:50:52,580 --> 00:50:53,870 He keeps repeating... 449 00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,790 Fast forward. 450 00:50:56,950 --> 00:50:58,620 Fast forward. 451 00:50:59,330 --> 00:51:01,040 The Plumber Comes 2 452 00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:05,330 - I'm here to check your plumbing. - Down here. 453 00:51:10,660 --> 00:51:13,790 - Have you seen my tool? - Which tool? 454 00:51:13,910 --> 00:51:15,740 The big, long one. 455 00:51:19,250 --> 00:51:21,200 Your pipes are so deep! 456 00:51:21,330 --> 00:51:22,580 Fast forward. 457 00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:35,660 Stop! 458 00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:40,290 Hello. Is that your red Mercedes outside? 459 00:51:40,410 --> 00:51:43,790 I'm busy servicing a customer! 460 00:51:47,750 --> 00:51:49,790 He changes the tape and says... 461 00:51:49,910 --> 00:51:55,290 We've received a tip-off about a red Mercedes. 462 00:51:55,410 --> 00:51:57,330 - It's coming to blow up your men. - So? 463 00:51:57,450 --> 00:52:01,160 - Blow it up first. - Every red Mercedes? 464 00:52:01,290 --> 00:52:03,240 Are you an idiot? 465 00:52:03,870 --> 00:52:05,540 Did the Mercedes come? 466 00:52:06,410 --> 00:52:12,080 We waited all night for the exploding Mercedes, 467 00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:15,240 for this impending disaster. 468 00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:56,490 Then, in the middle of the night, the phone rang. 469 00:52:58,330 --> 00:53:00,160 Bashir is dead. 470 00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,040 - Which Bashir? - Bashir Gemayel, 471 00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,540 the elected president of Lebanon. 472 00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:10,620 A brother, an ally, a Christian. Murdered. 473 00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:15,330 Wake everyone up. You'll be in Beirut in two hours! 474 00:53:15,450 --> 00:53:19,450 I don't remember much about the flight to Beirut, 475 00:53:19,580 --> 00:53:23,700 except that I was having obsessive thoughts about death. 476 00:53:23,830 --> 00:53:28,040 Because my girlfriend Yaeli had dumped me the week before, 477 00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:31,540 death would be my revenge. 478 00:53:31,660 --> 00:53:34,450 She would be ridden with guilt 479 00:53:34,580 --> 00:53:36,910 for the rest of her life. 480 00:53:40,660 --> 00:53:44,040 As I fantasised about my death, 481 00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:45,990 we approached Beirut. 482 00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:49,200 A city with hotels, beaches, 483 00:53:49,330 --> 00:53:51,370 and people scurrying about. 484 00:53:51,500 --> 00:53:54,700 We land at the international airport. 485 00:53:54,830 --> 00:54:00,450 Our Hercules army helicopter lands next to jets from Air France, TWA, 486 00:54:00,580 --> 00:54:02,700 and British Airways. 487 00:54:02,830 --> 00:54:06,830 I was excited like I was going on a trip abroad, 488 00:54:06,950 --> 00:54:09,580 excited all over. 489 00:54:17,250 --> 00:54:19,410 At some point I just take off 490 00:54:19,540 --> 00:54:22,040 and walk into the terminal. 491 00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,830 It felt as if I was on a leisure trip... 492 00:54:26,870 --> 00:54:28,870 a sort of hallucination. 493 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:32,740 Like standing in a terminal, 494 00:54:32,870 --> 00:54:35,830 waiting to choose my destination. 495 00:54:35,950 --> 00:54:42,410 In front of that '80s departures board, the choice is all mine. 496 00:54:43,500 --> 00:54:46,580 I see the 14:10 flight to London, 497 00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:48,870 15:20 to Paris, 498 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:51,160 16:00 to New York... 499 00:54:52,500 --> 00:54:57,160 I wander through the terminal and see the duty-free shops - 500 00:54:57,290 --> 00:55:01,240 jewellery, tobacco, alcohol... 501 00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:06,490 While I'm still on this trip, I suddenly realise what's going on. 502 00:55:06,620 --> 00:55:10,330 Through the window I see 503 00:55:10,450 --> 00:55:15,200 that all the TWA and Air France planes are just bombed-out shells. 504 00:55:16,450 --> 00:55:20,410 And the shops are empty, they've been looted long since. 505 00:55:20,540 --> 00:55:25,160 And the schedule board hasn't changed for months. 506 00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:30,040 Then I start to hear sounds, voices. 507 00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:35,200 I hear shelling in the city and bombing by the air force. 508 00:55:35,330 --> 00:55:37,040 Slowly I begin to realise where I am 509 00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:40,240 and I'm afraid of what will happen next. 510 00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:49,370 We start walking from the airport to the city. 511 00:55:49,500 --> 00:55:52,990 Tall high-rise hotels hover above us. 512 00:55:53,700 --> 00:55:56,200 The sea is to one side. 513 00:56:03,870 --> 00:56:09,540 We walk along a promenade towards a large junction. 514 00:56:10,540 --> 00:56:15,580 Then we come under sniper fire from the upper floors of a hotel. 515 00:56:16,580 --> 00:56:21,950 We can't see where it's coming from or who is shooting. 516 00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:27,490 A wounded soldier was lying at the junction but we couldn't get to him. 517 00:56:27,870 --> 00:56:29,950 We were scared to death. 518 00:56:42,620 --> 00:56:44,910 Then, in the middle of this hell, 519 00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:49,740 that TV correspondent Ron Ben-Yishai suddenly turns up. 520 00:56:50,370 --> 00:56:55,410 He's walking upright, dodging bullets like Superman. 521 00:56:55,540 --> 00:56:59,990 Strolling along as if nothing's wrong, while bullets whizz past him. 522 00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:04,870 In front of him, a terrified cameraman crawls along. 523 00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:10,040 Trembling with fear, he can't see beyond his helmet. 524 00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:13,540 It was a large junction. 525 00:57:13,660 --> 00:57:19,910 One lane led directly into Hamra Street, 526 00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:23,740 to the West Beirut district of Hamra. 527 00:57:23,870 --> 00:57:27,950 I remember the sizzling sound, a sort of hissing noise... 528 00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:32,740 They were firing masses of RPGs and it sounded like 529 00:57:32,870 --> 00:57:35,620 a Native American arrow-shooting range. 530 00:57:35,750 --> 00:57:39,160 Before an RPG explodes, it makes this hissing noise. 531 00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:44,290 You don't hear an explosion, 532 00:57:44,410 --> 00:57:48,990 just this hissing, then the walls shattering. 533 00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:55,740 During all this, civilians are seen on balconies - 534 00:57:55,870 --> 00:57:58,040 women, children, 535 00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:02,410 and old people are watching as if it were a film. 536 00:58:15,620 --> 00:58:20,830 They're shooting at us from all directions. 537 00:58:26,870 --> 00:58:29,870 And we can't get across. 538 00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:34,040 Throughout my military service I was a MAG shooter. 539 00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:36,740 During my officer training, I thought, 540 00:58:36,870 --> 00:58:40,910 "You've used a MAG for so long, why not try something else?" 541 00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:42,540 So they gave me a Galil. 542 00:58:43,290 --> 00:58:49,450 And while they're shooting at us from all directions, 543 00:58:49,580 --> 00:58:54,830 I realise that I can't shoot with the Galil like I could before. 544 00:58:55,830 --> 00:59:00,370 I missed the good old MAG that I was familiar with. 545 00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:05,330 So I say to Erez, "Erez, do me a favour. 546 00:59:07,330 --> 00:59:11,990 "Give me your MAG. I won't make it across with the Galil. 547 00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:15,490 "Give me your MAG and we'll cross the street. 548 00:59:15,620 --> 00:59:17,700 "I'll shoot better." 549 00:59:17,830 --> 00:59:21,450 He says, "Frenkel, are you mental? 550 00:59:21,580 --> 00:59:26,200 "They're attacking us! Stop babbling and shoot!" 551 00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:33,540 I finally realise that I must take drastic steps. 552 00:59:33,660 --> 00:59:35,240 I grab him and say, 553 00:59:35,370 --> 00:59:41,700 "Listen, Erez, give me the MAG, or I'll take it by force!" 554 01:00:06,500 --> 01:00:08,830 Whether an eternity orjust a minute... 555 01:00:09,330 --> 01:00:11,790 there was Frenkel at the junction 556 01:00:11,910 --> 01:00:15,120 with bullets flying past him in every direction. 557 01:00:15,250 --> 01:00:18,330 Instead of crossing the junction, 558 01:00:18,450 --> 01:00:21,830 I saw him dancing, as if in a trance. 559 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:26,950 He cursed the shooters, like he wanted to stay there forever. 560 01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:31,540 As if he wanted to show off his waltz amid the gunfire, 561 01:00:31,660 --> 01:00:35,290 with the posters of Bashir above his head. 562 01:00:35,410 --> 01:00:38,660 And Bashir's followers 563 01:00:38,790 --> 01:00:41,490 preparing their big revenge just 200 yards away, 564 01:00:41,620 --> 01:00:45,200 The Sabra and Shatila massacre. 565 01:00:55,450 --> 01:00:58,370 I'm starting to remember. 566 01:00:59,370 --> 01:01:02,490 I've met people, I've heard stories... 567 01:01:02,620 --> 01:01:05,040 stories about myself. 568 01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:07,450 I didn't want to believe them. 569 01:01:08,950 --> 01:01:12,540 So, what can't you remember? 570 01:01:12,660 --> 01:01:18,410 The day of the massacre. I can remember everything else. 571 01:01:18,540 --> 01:01:23,240 I don't understand why people were so surprised 572 01:01:23,370 --> 01:01:26,700 that the Phalangists carried out the massacre. 573 01:01:26,830 --> 01:01:29,950 I knew all along how ruthless they were. 574 01:01:34,500 --> 01:01:38,370 During the storming of Beirut we were in the slaughterhouse. 575 01:01:38,500 --> 01:01:39,700 Where? 576 01:01:39,830 --> 01:01:42,410 The slaughterhouse, that junk yard 577 01:01:42,540 --> 01:01:48,160 where they took the Palestinians, interrogated them, and executed them. 578 01:01:48,290 --> 01:01:51,160 It was like being on an LSD trip. 579 01:01:58,950 --> 01:02:02,330 They carried body parts of murdered Palestinians, 580 01:02:02,450 --> 01:02:04,700 preserved in jars of formaldehyde. 581 01:02:06,910 --> 01:02:11,830 They had fingers, eyeballs, anything you wanted. 582 01:02:17,620 --> 01:02:20,330 And always pictures of Bashir. 583 01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:24,620 Bashir pendants, Bashir watches, Bashir this, Bashir that... 584 01:02:24,750 --> 01:02:30,950 Bashir was to them what David Bowie was to me. 585 01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:35,660 A star, an idol, a prince, admirable. 586 01:02:36,660 --> 01:02:39,620 I think they even felt an eroticism for him. 587 01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:41,990 Totally erotic. 588 01:02:43,450 --> 01:02:48,040 Their idol was about to become king. We were the ones going to crown him. 589 01:02:48,870 --> 01:02:51,370 The next day he was murdered. 590 01:02:51,500 --> 01:02:55,240 It was obvious they'd avenge his death in some perverse way. 591 01:02:56,410 --> 01:02:59,580 It was as if their wife had been murdered. 592 01:02:59,700 --> 01:03:03,040 This was about family honour, which runs deep. 593 01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:07,490 Why did you come back? 594 01:03:07,620 --> 01:03:13,490 I'm still having these hallucinations about the massacre on the beach. 595 01:03:14,620 --> 01:03:16,990 And you're there with me. 596 01:03:56,790 --> 01:03:58,870 You're mad. 597 01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,200 You're obsessed. 598 01:04:01,330 --> 01:04:05,620 Beach? What are you talking about? Who was on the beach that night? 599 01:04:05,750 --> 01:04:08,040 What beach? 600 01:04:19,370 --> 01:04:22,490 I've reached a dead end. 601 01:04:22,620 --> 01:04:26,870 I can't find anyone who was with me at the massacre. 602 01:04:27,500 --> 01:04:30,700 No one who was with me 603 01:04:30,830 --> 01:04:35,410 has any solid memories of the days of the massacre. 604 01:04:36,160 --> 01:04:39,370 I only have this one vision. 605 01:04:39,500 --> 01:04:45,450 And Carmi, the only person in my vision, denies being there with me. 606 01:04:45,580 --> 01:04:48,200 - It's still real. - It's a vision. 607 01:04:48,330 --> 01:04:51,700 - But it's yours. Shall I explain? - Yes. 608 01:04:51,830 --> 01:04:56,490 What does the sea symbolise in dreams? Fear. Feelings. 609 01:04:57,450 --> 01:05:02,290 The massacre frightens you, makes you uneasy. You were close to it. 610 01:05:02,410 --> 01:05:04,370 That doesn't help me much. 611 01:05:04,500 --> 01:05:10,120 Your interest in the massacre developed long before it happened. 612 01:05:10,250 --> 01:05:13,660 Your interest in the massacre stems from another massacre. 613 01:05:13,790 --> 01:05:18,290 Your interest in those camps is actually about the "other" camps. 614 01:05:18,410 --> 01:05:20,240 - Were your parents in camps? - Yes. 615 01:05:20,370 --> 01:05:22,120 - Auschwitz? - Yes. 616 01:05:22,250 --> 01:05:27,290 So the massacre has been with you since you were six. 617 01:05:27,870 --> 01:05:30,700 You lived through the massacre and those camps. 618 01:05:30,830 --> 01:05:36,660 Your only solution is to find out what really happened... 619 01:05:36,790 --> 01:05:40,120 in Sabra and Shatila. Seek out people. 620 01:05:40,250 --> 01:05:43,450 Find out what really happened, ask who was there. 621 01:05:43,580 --> 01:05:46,910 Get details and more details. That way... 622 01:05:48,750 --> 01:05:53,080 then maybe you can find out where you were exactly 623 01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:55,490 and what role you played. 624 01:06:04,250 --> 01:06:09,740 On that day we were sent to a certain post. 625 01:06:09,870 --> 01:06:13,990 It was actually on a hill. This hill... 626 01:06:14,120 --> 01:06:17,990 was opposite the western sector of the refugee camp. 627 01:06:18,500 --> 01:06:24,200 From where I was, I could see the settlement houses. 628 01:06:24,330 --> 01:06:28,490 There was occasional shooting. We tried to locate them and retaliate. 629 01:06:34,040 --> 01:06:36,950 The Christian Phalangist forces began to arrive. 630 01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:40,580 In full kit, soldiers in Israeli uniforms 631 01:06:40,700 --> 01:06:43,330 took position behind tanks. 632 01:06:44,500 --> 01:06:46,990 I was called for a briefing. 633 01:06:47,120 --> 01:06:49,620 It was in English. 634 01:06:49,750 --> 01:06:54,370 - What was it about? - They told us that the Christians 635 01:06:54,500 --> 01:06:57,910 would enter the camp and we would give them cover. 636 01:06:58,540 --> 01:07:04,700 Once they had purged the camps, we would seize control. 637 01:07:04,830 --> 01:07:07,660 - Purged of what? - Palestinian Terrorists. 638 01:07:58,620 --> 01:08:02,290 The next morning, they began to bring out civilians. 639 01:08:09,120 --> 01:08:14,490 The civilians were led out of the camps 640 01:08:14,620 --> 01:08:17,540 in a long line. 641 01:08:17,660 --> 01:08:22,870 The Phalangists watched on, constantly shouting at them 642 01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:25,330 and occasionally firing into the air. 643 01:08:26,500 --> 01:08:28,540 There were women, old people, 644 01:08:28,660 --> 01:08:33,410 and children walking in a line towards the stadium. 645 01:08:35,620 --> 01:08:41,870 From inside in the tank, did you wonder where they were taking them? 646 01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:44,160 Did you think about it? 647 01:08:45,450 --> 01:08:47,990 Not really, because wherever we went, 648 01:08:48,120 --> 01:08:50,870 an announcement was made upon entering a camp. 649 01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:57,330 Civilians were ordered out. Those remaining were considered rebels. 650 01:08:57,450 --> 01:09:03,290 It seemed quite natural to say to the residents, 651 01:09:03,410 --> 01:09:06,660 "If you don't want to get hurt, then come out." 652 01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:34,950 On that day I drove to Docha, a city on the coast. 653 01:09:35,080 --> 01:09:39,660 It had an Israel Defence Forces landing field. 654 01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:45,580 On the way, many Phalangist half-track vehicles appeared. 655 01:09:45,700 --> 01:09:51,910 They shouted with joy as they headed towards the airfield. 656 01:09:52,040 --> 01:09:56,700 At the airfield I met a Colonel friend. 657 01:09:56,830 --> 01:09:58,910 He said to me... 658 01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:03,200 "Have you heard what's happening in the refugee camps?" 659 01:10:03,330 --> 01:10:06,490 He had pointed to Sabra and Shatila. 660 01:10:06,620 --> 01:10:09,740 "What's happening?" I asked. 661 01:10:09,870 --> 01:10:16,040 "I didn't witness it myself, but they say there was a terrible massacre." 662 01:10:16,160 --> 01:10:22,950 Palestinians were slaughtered. I heard they put them on trucks. 663 01:10:23,080 --> 01:10:27,700 I was told that crucifixes were carved on their chests. 664 01:10:27,830 --> 01:10:33,120 There were wounded, some in critical condition. 665 01:10:33,250 --> 01:10:36,790 They were put on trucks and taken to an unknown destination. 666 01:10:46,120 --> 01:10:49,790 We saw a Phalangist soldier 667 01:10:49,910 --> 01:10:52,450 taking an old man away. 668 01:10:55,500 --> 01:10:58,990 At a certain point we heard shots. 669 01:10:59,700 --> 01:11:01,660 We heard shots. 670 01:11:02,620 --> 01:11:05,330 Then the soldier came out alone. 671 01:11:06,160 --> 01:11:09,540 We asked him what had happened. 672 01:11:09,660 --> 01:11:16,330 We couldn't hear him, but his gestures meant, "Boom!" 673 01:11:17,410 --> 01:11:22,040 We understood that he'd told the man to kneel down before him. 674 01:11:22,160 --> 01:11:25,580 When he refused, he shot his knees. When he refused again, 675 01:11:25,700 --> 01:11:27,580 he shot him in the stomach and head. 676 01:11:31,200 --> 01:11:35,290 Didn't you ever realise 677 01:11:35,410 --> 01:11:40,160 that trucks were going in empty and coming out full, 678 01:11:40,290 --> 01:11:45,370 women and children were brought out and bulldozers went in? 679 01:11:45,500 --> 01:11:47,290 That maybe a massacre was taking place? 680 01:11:47,410 --> 01:11:51,620 Did you wonder why you didn't realise earlier? 681 01:11:53,080 --> 01:11:55,120 Yes, of course. 682 01:11:56,120 --> 01:12:02,290 I realised something was happening only when my men told me. 683 01:12:02,410 --> 01:12:04,790 From the top of their tanks, 684 01:12:04,910 --> 01:12:09,990 they started shouting, "They're shooting people!" 685 01:12:22,200 --> 01:12:26,370 They claimed that people were lined up against the wall and shot. 686 01:12:27,290 --> 01:12:31,910 So I called my commanding officer. 687 01:12:32,040 --> 01:12:36,410 I told him what I heard was going on in the camps. 688 01:12:37,830 --> 01:12:42,490 He said, "We know about it. It's under control. We've reported it." 689 01:12:42,620 --> 01:12:47,120 As far as I was concerned, the army was handling it. 690 01:12:47,250 --> 01:12:52,080 Where was the operations room, the headquarters? 691 01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:56,370 About 100 yards away. On top of a very tall building. 692 01:12:56,500 --> 01:13:01,040 - How tall? - Tall enough to see everything. 693 01:13:01,160 --> 01:13:04,490 They surely had a better view than I did. 694 01:13:30,080 --> 01:13:35,040 I didn't want to walk around at night, so I drove 695 01:13:35,160 --> 01:13:38,870 to my place in Bahabda, I had an apartment in Beirut. 696 01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:44,370 Micha Friedman was with me. We decided to make dinner. 697 01:13:44,500 --> 01:13:50,950 Micha invited the guys from the regiment of the 211th Brigade. 698 01:13:51,790 --> 01:13:56,160 During the meal, the regiment commander took me aside. 699 01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:59,950 He said, "Ron, 700 01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:05,490 "my men say there's a massacre going on in the camps." 701 01:14:06,120 --> 01:14:09,870 He mentioned one or two incidents, 702 01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:12,740 saying a family was seen shot. 703 01:14:12,870 --> 01:14:16,660 I asked him again, "Did you see it yourself?" 704 01:14:16,790 --> 01:14:20,620 "I didn't", he said, "but my soldiers told me about it. 705 01:14:20,750 --> 01:14:26,660 "The officers sitting here did, too." We talked about it over dinner later. 706 01:14:27,250 --> 01:14:32,490 As soon as they left, at 11:30 pm, 707 01:14:32,620 --> 01:14:36,950 I knocked back a whisky and phoned Defence Minister Arik Sharon. 708 01:14:38,500 --> 01:14:40,580 At his ranch. 709 01:14:40,700 --> 01:14:44,950 Arik was half-asleep. 710 01:14:45,080 --> 01:14:51,450 I said, "I've heard there's a massacre going on, Arik. 711 01:14:51,580 --> 01:14:57,040 "They're slaughtering Palestinians. We have to put a stop to it." 712 01:14:57,160 --> 01:15:01,160 He asked me, "Did you see it yourself?" 713 01:15:02,330 --> 01:15:08,830 "No", I said, "but there are several witnesses who saw it." 714 01:15:08,950 --> 01:15:11,040 "OK", he said. 715 01:15:11,160 --> 01:15:13,540 "Thanks for bringing it to my attention." 716 01:15:13,660 --> 01:15:14,870 That was all. 717 01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:19,330 You'd normally say, "I'll check it out, I'll look into it." But no! 718 01:15:19,450 --> 01:15:24,450 He said, "Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Happy New Year!" 719 01:15:25,410 --> 01:15:29,040 Well, something along those lines. Then back to sleep. 720 01:15:29,160 --> 01:15:32,410 It's amazing. A massacre took place, 721 01:15:32,540 --> 01:15:36,240 it was carried out by Christian Phalangists. 722 01:15:38,370 --> 01:15:42,990 All around were several circles of our soldiers. 723 01:15:44,500 --> 01:15:47,040 Every circle had some information. 724 01:15:47,160 --> 01:15:52,580 The first one had the most, however, the penny didn't drop. 725 01:15:53,500 --> 01:15:56,200 They didn't realise they were witnessing a genocide. 726 01:15:56,330 --> 01:15:58,120 What circle were you in? 727 01:15:58,250 --> 01:16:01,040 In the second or third. 728 01:16:01,160 --> 01:16:04,450 What did you do? 729 01:16:06,160 --> 01:16:09,330 We stood on a roof and saw the sky was lit up. 730 01:16:10,500 --> 01:16:13,660 - With what? - Flares. 731 01:16:14,500 --> 01:16:18,660 Flares that must have helped them do what they were doing. 732 01:16:24,910 --> 01:16:26,950 Did you fire the flares? 733 01:16:27,080 --> 01:16:28,790 Is that important? 734 01:16:28,910 --> 01:16:32,700 Does it make any difference if I fired them 735 01:16:32,830 --> 01:16:36,990 or if I just saw the flares that helped people shoot others? 736 01:16:38,870 --> 01:16:42,950 In your state of mind at that time, it didn't really make a difference. 737 01:16:43,080 --> 01:16:47,200 You can't remember the massacre because in your opinion, 738 01:16:47,330 --> 01:16:51,950 the murderers and those around them are the same circle. 739 01:16:52,080 --> 01:16:54,950 You felt guilty at the age of 19, 740 01:16:55,080 --> 01:16:57,790 unwillingly, you took on the role of the Nazi. 741 01:16:57,910 --> 01:17:02,700 You were there firing flares but you didn't carry out the massacre. 742 01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:23,490 I woke up at 5 or 5:30, and I woke everyone up, 743 01:17:23,620 --> 01:17:26,240 the whole team. 744 01:17:26,370 --> 01:17:29,700 Then I drove to Sabra and Shatila. 745 01:17:30,870 --> 01:17:32,830 When I arrived there... 746 01:17:33,620 --> 01:17:35,620 what a mess! 747 01:17:37,040 --> 01:17:41,830 You know that picture from the Warsaw ghetto? 748 01:17:42,910 --> 01:17:47,160 The one with the kid holding his hands in the air? 749 01:17:49,120 --> 01:17:51,870 That's just how the long line of women, 750 01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:55,410 old people and children looked. 751 01:17:55,540 --> 01:17:59,580 I thought about going to Brigadier Amos's headquarters 752 01:17:59,700 --> 01:18:04,160 but as I was leaving, Amos suddenly turned up. 753 01:18:04,290 --> 01:18:06,330 He drove to the head of the convoy. 754 01:18:06,450 --> 01:18:11,040 His angry gestures forced them to stop. 755 01:18:11,160 --> 01:18:14,540 And that was the end of it. 756 01:18:44,290 --> 01:18:47,370 The Phalangists withdrew back up the street. 757 01:18:47,500 --> 01:18:52,370 The women and children returned to the camp. 758 01:18:52,500 --> 01:18:54,990 - The Palestinians? - Yes. 759 01:19:02,660 --> 01:19:07,490 I said to my men, "We're going in with them... 760 01:19:07,620 --> 01:19:09,450 "With those women and children. 761 01:19:11,250 --> 01:19:15,040 "We'll see what happened in there." 762 01:19:15,160 --> 01:19:18,240 Inside the camp we saw a huge amount of rubble. 763 01:19:18,910 --> 01:19:23,330 My eye caught a hand, a small hand. 764 01:19:23,450 --> 01:19:28,870 A child's hand, sticking out from the rubble. 765 01:19:29,950 --> 01:19:34,660 I looked a bit closer and saw curls. 766 01:19:35,950 --> 01:19:42,080 A head of curls covered in dust. It was hard to make out. 767 01:19:42,200 --> 01:19:48,160 But it was a head, exposed up to the nose. 768 01:19:49,790 --> 01:19:51,660 A hand and a head. 769 01:19:51,790 --> 01:19:56,200 My own daughter was the same age as that little girl. 770 01:19:56,330 --> 01:20:00,080 She had curly hair too. 771 01:20:04,660 --> 01:20:09,120 The Palestinians in refugee camps have houses with courtyards. 772 01:20:09,250 --> 01:20:12,540 These courtyards were full of bodies of women and children. 773 01:20:12,660 --> 01:20:16,290 The young men had been shot first. 774 01:20:16,410 --> 01:20:19,660 Then the rest of the family was dealt with. 775 01:20:21,160 --> 01:20:24,990 We entered one alley, a very narrow alley... 776 01:20:25,120 --> 01:20:28,160 the width of a man and a half. 777 01:20:28,660 --> 01:20:31,870 That alley was full... 778 01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:37,450 Piled up to the height of a man's chest 779 01:20:37,580 --> 01:20:39,790 with the bodies of young men. 780 01:20:40,500 --> 01:20:45,500 That's when I became aware of the results of the massacre.