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Subtitles downloaded from Podnapisi.NET
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(FOOTSTEPS ECHOING)
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BEEFEATER:
Admiral Collingwood!
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Well, Admiral?
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Great news,
Your Majesty!
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The French are
defeated at last.
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Also the Russians,
the Portuguese,
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the Chinese
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and the Welsh.
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Then our navy
rules the ocean.
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Almost entirely,
Your Majesty.
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"Almost"?
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(STAMMERING)
Unfortunately, just here,
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we're still having
a little trouble with...
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(GULPS)
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...pirates.
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What does it say on my
royal crest, Admiral?
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"I hate pirates,"
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ma'am.
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Exactly.
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Hate them.
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With their idiotic shanties!
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And their
ridiculous hats!
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And their endless,
blasted roaring!
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I want them sunk,
Admiral!
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Scuppered, smashed, fed to the sharks.
Do you hear me?
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I hate pirates!
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It's the looting.
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It's the cutlasses.
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It's the looting!
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It's the cutlasses!
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Looting!
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Cutlasses!
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(GLASS SHATTERS)
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Looting!
(PUNCH SMACKS)
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Oh!
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(ACCORDION CLANKS)
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(SCREAMS)
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(PIRATES GRUNTING)
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(PIRATES GASP)
(ALL QUIET)
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Sorry, Captain.
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We were just discussing what's the
best bit about being a pirate.
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Oh, YOU were,
were you?
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I suggested it
might be the looting.
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Whereas I contend
it's the shiny cutlasses.
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And I thought it was the chance
to catch exotic diseases.
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Hmm.
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Well, you're,
all of you, wrong.
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The best bit
about being a pirate
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isn't the looting
or the cutlasses.
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It's not the grog
or the scurvy.
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Or the scantily
clad mermaids.
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The best bit
about being a pirate
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is Ham Night!
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(CHEERING)
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Ham Night!
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(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)
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PIRATE: Ham Night!
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ALL: Ham!
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(CHEERING,
EXCITED CHATTER CONTINUES)
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(LAUGHTER)
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PIRATE: On your nose.
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Go, Captain. Go, Captain.
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Hey! Hey!
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(PANTS RIP)
Ooh!
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(MUSIC ENDS)
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It's like a meat ballet.
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To Ham Night!
Ham!
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And to the Pirate Captain!
Pirate Captain!
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Pirate Captain!
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(CHEERING)
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How was that, Number Two?
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You've still
got it, Captain.
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I'd take a jellyfish
in the face for that man.
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Okay, now, shush, shush, shush.
Settle down, lads. Shush.
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Lads, lads.
Pirates!
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It's not all about me.
Don't be modest.
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No, no, no.
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Behind every captain
with glittering eyes
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and a luxuriant beard...
Luxuriant!
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That's what it is.
(CHEERING)
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...there's a crew
of briny rogues.
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Briny rogues!
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Sure, some of you are as
ugly as a sea cucumber.
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Will you get away with ya?
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Some of you are closer to being a
chair or coat rack than a pirate.
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And some of you are just fish
I've dressed up in a hat.
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But you're still the best crew
a captain could wish for.
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(CHEERING)
Oh, oh!
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Don't forget Polly.
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And not forgetting,
never forgetting...
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...Polly. The finest parrot
to sail the seven seas.
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Come on, girl.
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ALBINO PIRATE:
I love her beady eyes.
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Who's the feathery heart
and soul of our boat?
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Is it you? Is it you?
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Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
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It's definitely you,
isn't it?
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Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
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Right. (STUTTERS)
Where was I?
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Ah, yes! Ah, yes.
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Important announcement.
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(GASPS) PIRATE: Ooh!
Shh-shh, shh-shh!
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By order of
the Pirate King himself...
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(ALL GASP)
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(DRUMROLL)
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(GAS PS)
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The Pirate of
the Year Awards?
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(HIGH-PITCHED)
Are you going to...
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(DEEP VOICE) Are you
going to enter again?
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That I am, Surprisingly
Curvaceous Pirate.
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I know it hasn't worked out
perfectly for the last...
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20 year.
20 years, yeah.
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Exactly, Pirate with Gout.
20 years.
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It might be a bit more.
21, 22...
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Yes, yes.
Thank you, thank you.
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PIRATE 1: You were very good, though.
PIRATE 2: Shush!
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The point is, every time I've
entered I've failed to win.
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So by the sheer
law of maths...
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(PIRATES GASP)
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Ooh! Maths.
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...I must have a really
good chance this time.
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Are you with me, lads?
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(CHEERING)
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Yes! This can
only end brilliantly.
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Then let's go plundering!
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(CHEERING)
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J' Deep in the castle
and back from the war
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J' Back with milady
and the fires burnt tall
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J' ”Hoorah” went the men
down below
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J' All outside
was the rain and snow
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(SCREAMS)
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♪ Hoorah, hoorah,
hoorah, yeah
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J' Over the hill
(CANNONS BOOMING)
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J' Came the swords
of a thousand men
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(LAUGHING AND HOOTING)
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J' We had to meet
the enemy a mile away
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J' Thunder in the air
and the sky turned gray
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00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:02,499
J' Assembling the knights
(TRUMPET PLAYS FANFARE)
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J' And their swords
were sharp
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00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:05,558
J' There was hope
(FAINT SCREAMING)
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J' In our English hearts
(GUNFIRE)
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J' Hear our roar,
hear our sound
144
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J' We're gonna fight
until we have won this town
145
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♪ Hoorah, hoorah,
hoorah, yeah
146
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J' Over the hill came the
swords of a thousand men
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Ooh!
148
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:25,651
J' Hoorah, hoorah,
hoorah, yeah
149
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(CHEERING)
150
00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:31,657
J' Over the hill came the
swords of a thousand men
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(HUMMING)
152
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:35,096
(CHEERING)
153
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Land ho!
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Ah.
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Blood Island.
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So-called because it's the
exact shape of some blood.
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(HORN HONKS MUSICALLY)
(GRUNTS)
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(SHIP CREAKING)
159
00:07:49,368 --> 00:07:52,178
J' Hear our triumph,
hear our roar
160
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:57,119
J' We're gonna drink a
barrel and much, much more
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00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:58,553
♪ Hoorah, hoorah,
hoorah, yeah
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Ha!
163
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(TIRES SCREECHING)
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00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:04,621
J' Over the hill came the
swords of a thousand men
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00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,565
(REVERSE ALARM CHIRPING)
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00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:10,396
(GASPING)
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00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:15,167
♪ Hoorah, hoorah,
hoorah, yeah
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Yeah!
(SCREAMS)
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00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:24,174
♪ Hoorah, hoorah,
hoorah, yeah
170
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:27,081
♪ Hoorah, hoorah,
hoorah, yeah
171
00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:31,315
J' Over the hill went the
swords of a thousand men J'
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(PEOPLE CONVERSING)
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00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:36,681
PIRATE CAPTAIN:
Excuse me. Mind out.
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00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:36,715
175
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,127
Captain coming through.
(GLASS SHATTERS)
176
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,356
Thank you very much.
(PEOPLE GRUNTING)
177
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:40,522
Thank you.
178
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:43,157
One Pirate of the Year
entry form, if you please.
179
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:45,096
Thank you.
180
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:47,764
Now, let's see.
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00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:48,862
"Booty"?
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00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,168
Oh, yes.
183
00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:52,175
"Roaring." Check.
184
00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:53,335
Shanties.
185
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:54,969
I shall put "rousing."
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"Beard"?
187
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Luxuriant.
188
00:08:57,603 --> 00:08:58,946
Obviously. Duh.
189
00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:01,217
Do you think I should
sign it in blood?
190
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,651
Make it more dramatic?
191
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:05,018
Might be a bit
on the showy side.
192
00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:07,023
Bit too much.
You might be right.
193
00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:10,288
Pirate Captain.
194
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,252
You can't lose, Captain.
195
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,355
I'd bet my face.
196
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,831
Well, thank you,
Albino Pirate.
197
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,128
You're a shoo-in, sir.
198
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:19,635
Sure, there's not a pirate on
the seven seas can match you.
199
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:20,966
(PEOPLE GASPING, SCREAMING)
200
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,909
Lock up your daughters!
201
00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:29,537
(LAUGHS)
202
00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:33,174
It's me,
Peg-Leg Hastings!
203
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,685
Back from plunderin'
the Spanish Main.
204
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,015
Oh, good grief.
205
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,056
And I reckon
this will make me
206
00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:40,715
Pirate of the Year.
(ALL GASP)
207
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:41,884
(CHEERING)
208
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,586
(LAUGHS)
209
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:45,424
(GROANS)
210
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:48,622
Don't worry, sir.
He's all flash and no bang.
211
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:49,860
(EXPLOSION BOOMS)
212
00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:56,106
(BLOWS)
213
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:02,245
ALBINO PIRATE:
Ah, Cutlass Liz.
214
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,508
The Butcher of Barbados.
215
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:06,550
Hello, boys.
216
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,245
Whoa.
217
00:10:08,407 --> 00:10:13,083
You're probably all wondering if I'm
still as deadly as I am beautiful.
218
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,318
(GRUNTS)
219
00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:17,289
Well, I am.
220
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:21,924
Hello, Cutlass,
you trollop.
221
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,696
Peg-Leg,
you pile of squid bait.
222
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:26,634
Check it out, lubbers.
223
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:27,693
(PEOPLE GASP)
224
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,398
The world's biggest diamond.
225
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:33,075
That baby's
got my name on it.
226
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,471
(CHEERING)
227
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:38,877
She doesn't even
have a beard.
228
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,110
(RUMBLING, RATTLING)
229
00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:41,981
(GAS PS)
230
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,452
(CHATTERING)
231
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:45,511
(ALL SHUDDERING)
232
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,455
(RUMBLING)
233
00:10:49,181 --> 00:10:50,455
(GAS PS)
234
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,152
(BOTH GASP)
235
00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:57,363
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
236
00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:07,774
(PEOPLE GASPING)
237
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,715
(CHEERING)
238
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:20,720
Oh, sweet Neptune's
briny pants.
239
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:22,849
Black Bellamy.
240
00:11:22,915 --> 00:11:24,417
(CHEERING)
(GUNSHOT)
241
00:11:24,483 --> 00:11:27,657
(BELL DINGING)
242
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:29,265
Roar!
243
00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:33,859
Read it and weep, ya coves!
244
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:38,531
That's right, Black Bellamy is
gonna be Pirate of the Year.
245
00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:40,042
Again.
246
00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:41,510
How are you?
Good to see you.
247
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,012
Grog for everybody!
248
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,907
(CHEERING)
Grog for everybody!
249
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:46,449
(EXCITED CHATTERING)
250
00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:50,743
Wow, we are rubbish compared
to them, aren't we?
251
00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:14,005
Perhaps we should
be off, sir.
252
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,101
Yes.
253
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:18,448
Yes, yes, good point.
254
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:21,542
(STAMMERS) I just remembered,
actually, I have some very important
255
00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:24,781
bits of rope
I need to untangle.
256
00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:28,181
(COINS CLINKING)
257
00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:30,683
BELLAMY: Thank you.
258
00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:39,427
Well, if it isn't
the Pirate Captain.
259
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:41,600
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
260
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,469
Hello, Bellamy.
Cutlass. Peg-Leg.
261
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:45,634
Didn't notice you come in.
262
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:46,836
(LAUGHS)
263
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:49,272
The beard's
looking great, my man.
264
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:52,407
And I see that you're
more wanted than ever.
265
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,542
(GUFFAWING,
MOCKING LAUGHTER)
266
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,017
Come on, everybody, be nice.
Give him a break.
267
00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:59,352
Bring it down a little bit.
All right.
268
00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:00,412
Seriously, Captain,
269
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,522
how's the pirating
business treating you?
270
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:05,323
Yeah, yeah, brilliantly, brilliantly.
Thanks for asking. (CHUCKLES)
271
00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:07,193
Treasure coming
out of my eyeballs.
272
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:09,562
Taken to washing
my hair in 50-pound notes.
273
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,033
CUTLASS LIZ:
Oh, really?
274
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:13,229
If you've got
so much booty,
275
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:16,432
then how come you're still
sailing that old wreck?
276
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:21,940
Anyway, look, (CLEARS THROAT) I'd
love to stay and chat, but, you know,
277
00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:24,478
places to pillage,
people to...
278
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,039
People to skewer.
(SQUAWKS)
279
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:27,209
(CHOKING)
280
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:28,274
Huh?
281
00:13:30,676 --> 00:13:31,746
Ugh!
Ooh.
282
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:32,846
Oh, come on!
283
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:35,324
That is disgusting.
284
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:38,122
Wait a minute.
285
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,624
Captain, what is this?
286
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:42,723
What?
Captain?
287
00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:44,825
Oh, that's nothing. Could I
possibly have that back?
288
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,301
Hold on, hold on. Wait, wait.
Thank you.
289
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:47,393
"Pirate of the Year"?
290
00:13:47,459 --> 00:13:48,597
(LAUGHTER)
291
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,902
You're entering
Pirate of the Year?
292
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:52,237
No, no, no, no, no.
293
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:53,971
(LAUGHS)
294
00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:56,712
Uh, yes.
Again?
295
00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:58,437
Yes!
296
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,108
(LAUGHTER)
BOTH: Ooh!
297
00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:02,775
Come on. Listen,
did they change the rules?
298
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,118
I mean, I always thought
they gave it to the pirate
299
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,679
with the most booty.
300
00:14:06,745 --> 00:14:09,487
Do they now just give it to the
guy with the fattest parrot?
301
00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:12,028
She is not fat.
She's just big-boned.
302
00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,294
She's fat, dude.
(LAUGHTER)
303
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,798
Yeah, go on.
Go on, then, laugh.
304
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,232
Everyone laugh.
305
00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:18,359
(LAUGHTER)
306
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:27,077
Ignore them, Captain.
It's not worth it.
307
00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:29,612
The trophy would just clash
with your wallpaper, anyway.
308
00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:30,806
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
309
00:14:38,477 --> 00:14:39,979
You'll see, you'll see.
310
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,685
I will be
Pirate of the Year.
311
00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:44,159
Oh, yes.
312
00:14:45,851 --> 00:14:49,196
And then you'll be laughing on
the other side of your faces.
313
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:52,660
Yes.
314
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:56,571
And believe me, that is
a very painful thing to do.
315
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,937
Come on, lads.
316
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:05,073
(LAUGHTER)
317
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:06,682
Well... (CLEARS THROAT)
318
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,621
All right,
now listen up, you coves.
319
00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:16,489
'We'll show those swabs a
thing or two about pirating.
320
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:17,822
(CHEERING)
321
00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:21,831
There's still time to fill these
chests with sparkling booty.
322
00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:24,928
I can practically
taste that trophy!
323
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:27,502
(CHANTING)
Trophy! Trophy! Trophy!
324
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:28,560
(GUNSHOT)
(CHEERING)
325
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:34,672
Captain!
Sail off the port bow!
326
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:35,871
Aha!
327
00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:37,275
Let's get after her,
Number Two.
328
00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:38,781
Aye, aye, sir.
329
00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:40,247
Clap on all sail!
330
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:42,616
Royals and topgallants!
331
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:43,676
PIRATE:
Release those gallants!
332
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:57,460
Aha!
333
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,525
(CLAMORING)
334
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,805
Fire those long things
that go bang.
335
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:11,973
Fire cannons four and six!
336
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:18,877
(CHEERING)
337
00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:20,716
Eat cannonball, lubbers.
338
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,053
(SQUAWKING)
339
00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:28,127
Here we go, lads!
Look and learn.
340
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:30,192
Yee-haw!
341
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:31,760
(CHEERING)
342
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:32,894
Go get 'em, Pirate Captain!
343
00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:36,573
Avast!
I'm the Pirate Captain.
344
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,206
And I'm here for your gold.
345
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:41,539
Gold? This is
a plague boat, old man.
346
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,908
I'd give my right arm
for some gold.
347
00:16:43,969 --> 00:16:45,004
(GAS PS)
348
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:46,572
Or my left. (CHUCKLES)
349
00:16:47,139 --> 00:16:48,140
PIRATE CAPTAIN:
Right, lads.
350
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:49,845
Minor hiccup, that last one.
351
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:50,909
This time,
352
00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:52,214
it's payday!
353
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:53,516
(CHEERING)
354
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:55,047
Aha!
355
00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:58,787
I'm the Pirate Captain,
and I'm here for your gold.
356
00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:01,723
Geography field trip.
357
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,435
Aha! I'm the
Pirate Captain, and...
358
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,035
Naturists.
359
00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:12,665
Pirate Captain. Blah,
blah, blah, blah, gold.
360
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:13,766
Ghost ship.
361
00:17:13,899 --> 00:17:14,969
(ALL WAILING)
362
00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,345
(SINISTER LAUGH)
363
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:21,984
Sorry.
364
00:17:59,778 --> 00:18:00,950
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
365
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:02,014
Mmm.
366
00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:06,787
Captain, we've sighted
another ship, sir.
367
00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:10,467
Mm-hmm. That's nice.
368
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,063
Do you want to give
the order to attack?
369
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:20,008
No, not really, Number Two.
No, I think I've...
370
00:18:20,065 --> 00:18:22,671
Think I had
enough of piracy.
371
00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:24,077
I'm hanging up my cutlass.
372
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,378
Captain, no!
373
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:29,112
Yeah, I was thinking I might go
into baby clothes, actually.
374
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:30,378
What?
375
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:33,480
I hear there's a fortune to be
made in baby clothes because
376
00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:35,149
babies grow so fast.
377
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:37,785
No, but you can't.
I mean, the crew...
378
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,557
They'd... They'd be
lost without you.
379
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,620
Oh, what was I thinking,
Number Two?
380
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,360
Pirate of the Year?
381
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:44,560
Me?
382
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,034
Look at the trophy cabinet.
383
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:50,606
Best Anecdote About a Squid.
384
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:55,945
I mean, that is all I've got
to show for my entire career.
385
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:57,776
(STAMMERING)
Pirate of the Year?
386
00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:00,339
It's just
commercialized nonsense.
387
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:03,019
Real piracy
isn't about trophies.
388
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,848
It's about fighting up
staircases backwards.
389
00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:10,125
It's about sliding down sails
with a knife in your teeth.
390
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:11,388
Beard glossiness!
391
00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:14,925
And think about all the
adventures we've had.
392
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,297
Our adventure with Aztecs.
393
00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:19,433
Our adventure with that pig.
394
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:20,526
Our adventure with...
395
00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:24,465
Shh!
396
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:29,235
Okay, maybe not the librarians.
But the fun we've had.
397
00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:31,110
And what about
the shanties?
398
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,276
Well, I mean... People
would miss my shanties.
399
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,046
And the running
people through.
400
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:39,455
Well, I... I do enjoy
running people through.
401
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,184
Enjoy it?
You're brilliant at it!
402
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:44,523
You're a brine-soaked
terror of the high seas!
403
00:19:45,717 --> 00:19:46,889
Do you think so, Number Two?
404
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,761
Everyone does!
405
00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:52,097
You're more of a pirate than
Black Bellamy or any of them.
406
00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:53,966
You're a real pirate.
407
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,630
That's why the crew,
408
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:59,141
they think you're the best thing
since boil-in-the-bag ham.
409
00:19:59,831 --> 00:20:01,139
Why do you think they all
410
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,812
got that tattoo? Come on.
411
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,307
What do you say?
412
00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:07,846
Arrr!
413
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,318
By Neptune,
where's that ship?
414
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:11,410
MAN: Ooh!
415
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,589
This is the one, lads!
416
00:20:13,645 --> 00:20:14,680
(PIRATES GASP)
417
00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:17,224
Ninth time lucky!
I can feel it in my beard!
418
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:19,358
Well, don't just
sit there like lemons!
419
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:21,226
Hoist the flag!
420
00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:22,594
Standard, sir?
421
00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:24,861
Or extra gruesome?
422
00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:26,266
PIRATE CAPTAIN:
Extra gruesome!
423
00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:27,698
Let's make their
gizzards shake.
424
00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:28,760
(CHEERING)
425
00:20:40,038 --> 00:20:42,541
DARWIN: Journal of
Charles Darwin.
426
00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:46,920
Day 93 aboard the Beagle.
427
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:51,758
I have, today, discovered
a new kind of barnacle,
428
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:57,699
which I have categorized
in the order of Pygophora.
429
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:00,960
(SIGHS SOFTLY)
430
00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:04,897
I'll never get a girlfriend.
lam so unhappy.
431
00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:06,840
(THUMPING)
432
00:21:06,898 --> 00:21:08,900
(CANNONBALL WHISTLING
THROUGH AIR)
433
00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:18,914
(CANNONS FIRING IN DISTANCE)
434
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:23,082
And now I'm being
attacked by pirates.
435
00:21:23,148 --> 00:21:25,628
(PIRATES CLAMORING)
436
00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:30,298
(GRUNTING)
437
00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:35,961
(GRUNTING)
438
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:37,234
(CHUCKLES)
439
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,903
Avast! I'm the Pirate Captain,
and I'm here for your gold.
440
00:21:40,999 --> 00:21:42,069
(GAS PS)
441
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,939
(STAMMERS)
I haven't got any gold.
442
00:21:44,403 --> 00:21:45,939
No gold, eh?
443
00:21:46,004 --> 00:21:48,450
Then what,
might I ask, is this?
444
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,510
It's a baboon's kidney.
445
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:52,077
Is it?
446
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,145
Oh.
447
00:21:53,211 --> 00:21:55,452
And what about this?
448
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:57,187
Oh, it's another
baboon's kidney.
449
00:21:57,249 --> 00:21:59,388
(GAS PS)
450
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:01,457
We searched
the hold, Captain.
451
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:02,860
And?
452
00:22:03,221 --> 00:22:04,700
Just creatures.
453
00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:07,703
Bits of creatures in jars.
454
00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:10,296
And an
unhappy-looking baboon.
455
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:14,943
What kind of ship is this?
456
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,001
(GAS PS)
457
00:22:16,234 --> 00:22:17,645
(STAMMERING) We're a...
458
00:22:17,703 --> 00:22:21,480
Well, we were
a scientific expedition.
459
00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:23,679
Charles Darwin,
at your service, sir.
460
00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:26,813
Oh, for pity's sake!
461
00:22:26,878 --> 00:22:29,654
Is it so much to ask? Is it?
462
00:22:30,649 --> 00:22:33,323
I just want one
tiny bit of success!
463
00:22:33,385 --> 00:22:37,094
One teensy weensy bit
of respect from my peers
464
00:22:37,155 --> 00:22:38,691
just once in my life!
465
00:22:39,891 --> 00:22:41,302
Is that such a crime?
466
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,771
Is it?
467
00:22:42,828 --> 00:22:44,205
(GAS PS)
468
00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:46,972
No?
No!
469
00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:48,567
(GASPS) No.
470
00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:50,670
Oh, but you try telling
that to the universe.
471
00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:53,740
Just once, just once
for things to go right.
472
00:22:53,805 --> 00:22:55,045
Just... Just once.
473
00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:02,186
So, are we done here?
474
00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:06,588
(WIND WHISTLING SOFTLY)
475
00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:08,696
DARWIN: Dear Diary,
476
00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:10,893
about to meet
a watery grave.
477
00:23:10,956 --> 00:23:12,663
NUMBER TWO: It's nothing
personal, you understand.
478
00:23:13,024 --> 00:23:15,197
It's just...
It's been a tough week,
479
00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:18,036
and a good plank walk
usually cheers him up.
480
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:22,140
Will die without reaching
second base with a lady.
481
00:23:22,334 --> 00:23:24,712
Oh, get on with it!
482
00:23:27,038 --> 00:23:28,142
Today's weather:
483
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,376
inclement.
(SQUAWKING)
484
00:23:30,442 --> 00:23:32,046
(GASPING)
485
00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:38,992
Stop! PIRATE CAPTAIN:
Oh, now what?
486
00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:41,394
Last request, is it?
Do we have to grant those?
487
00:23:41,453 --> 00:23:44,400
Is there some sort of human rights
convention we're signed up to?
488
00:23:44,523 --> 00:23:46,332
But that bird!
My parrot?
489
00:23:46,491 --> 00:23:47,868
She's just big-boned!
490
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:50,873
No, she's not. I mean... I
mean, she's not a parrot.
491
00:23:50,929 --> 00:23:52,306
Not a parrot?
492
00:23:52,364 --> 00:23:53,775
What's he on about,
old girl?
493
00:23:53,832 --> 00:23:54,970
She's... She's...
494
00:23:55,066 --> 00:23:57,876
She's the scientific
discovery of our age!
495
00:23:58,003 --> 00:23:59,710
She's a... (PLANK
THUMPS, DARWIN SCREAMS)
496
00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:01,444
(SPLASH)
Huh?
497
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:04,580
Sorry. It's just,
498
00:24:04,676 --> 00:24:06,713
that's my favorite bit.
499
00:24:09,314 --> 00:24:11,851
(CHIRPING)
500
00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:13,888
A dodo, you say?
501
00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:16,728
They've been extinct
for 150 years.
502
00:24:16,788 --> 00:24:18,893
To find one alive today,
it's quite incredible.
503
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:19,958
Whoa!
504
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:23,129
Well, clever old girl.
Not going extinct.
505
00:24:23,228 --> 00:24:25,799
If I might be so bold,
I would be prepared
506
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,278
to pay you 10 pounds
for your Polly.
507
00:24:29,334 --> 00:24:30,335
(LAUGHTER)
508
00:24:30,435 --> 00:24:32,039
Polly's not for sale.
509
00:24:32,103 --> 00:24:33,582
Ten pound.
510
00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:34,810
She's one of the family.
511
00:24:34,906 --> 00:24:36,579
She's like an auntie.
512
00:24:36,641 --> 00:24:37,881
With a beak.
513
00:24:37,943 --> 00:24:39,183
Yeah, I'm afraid
they're right, Charles.
514
00:24:39,244 --> 00:24:42,088
Polly here is the feathery
heart and soul of the boat.
515
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:43,353
Come on, little dodo.
516
00:24:43,415 --> 00:24:44,519
Oh.
517
00:24:44,583 --> 00:24:46,187
(GRUNTING)
518
00:24:47,752 --> 00:24:49,425
It's such
a missed opportunity.
519
00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:51,292
If I could've
presented her
520
00:24:51,356 --> 00:24:54,963
in London to the Royal Society
at their annual science show...
521
00:24:55,026 --> 00:24:56,903
(CHUCKLES) No question
of that, I'm afraid.
522
00:24:56,962 --> 00:24:58,100
She'd have been
an absolute sensation.
523
00:24:58,230 --> 00:24:59,402
Yeah, well,
can't be helped.
524
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:02,035
And of course a shoo-in
for the top prize.
525
00:25:04,202 --> 00:25:05,545
Prize?
526
00:25:05,604 --> 00:25:08,608
For best
scientific discovery. Yes.
527
00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:10,319
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
528
00:25:10,475 --> 00:25:12,648
This prize,
529
00:25:12,711 --> 00:25:14,554
valuable, is it?
Valuable?
530
00:25:14,613 --> 00:25:16,559
(GASPING, LAUGHING)
531
00:25:16,615 --> 00:25:18,561
It's priceless.
532
00:25:18,617 --> 00:25:20,722
Untold riches.
533
00:25:20,819 --> 00:25:24,426
(CASH REGISTER DINGS)
534
00:25:24,623 --> 00:25:25,931
Captain...
No, no, no, no.
535
00:25:25,991 --> 00:25:28,733
I was thinking, perhaps perhaps
I was being a touch hasty.
536
00:25:28,793 --> 00:25:29,897
But, Captain, London?
537
00:25:29,961 --> 00:25:31,440
The home of Queen Victoria,
538
00:25:31,663 --> 00:25:33,609
mortal enemy of
pirates everywhere?
539
00:25:33,698 --> 00:25:35,905
We'll end up hanged
at Execution Dock.
540
00:25:35,967 --> 00:25:36,968
(PIRATES GASP)
541
00:25:37,035 --> 00:25:38,105
(SCOFFS) Oh, pah!
542
00:25:38,169 --> 00:25:39,807
We laugh in the face
of danger, remember?
543
00:25:40,171 --> 00:25:41,775
Um, I don't.
544
00:25:41,907 --> 00:25:43,511
I don't really
like danger at all.
545
00:25:43,975 --> 00:25:45,010
(SIGHS)
546
00:25:45,076 --> 00:25:48,285
Captain, do you remember
the little talk we had?
547
00:25:48,613 --> 00:25:51,526
The one about whether pigs are
actually a type of fruit?
548
00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:53,919
No.
549
00:25:57,889 --> 00:25:58,924
No.
550
00:25:58,990 --> 00:26:01,402
The one about us trying
to avoid harebrained schemes
551
00:26:01,459 --> 00:26:02,995
that end in us
facing certain death.
552
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,904
You heard the man,
Number Two.
553
00:26:04,996 --> 00:26:06,839
"Untold riches."
554
00:26:06,898 --> 00:26:07,933
Here's the plan.
555
00:26:08,133 --> 00:26:11,637
We go to London, Polly wins
this science show thingy
556
00:26:11,703 --> 00:26:15,708
we take the prize money, I enter
Pirate of the Year, I win!
557
00:26:15,774 --> 00:26:17,185
Bingo!
558
00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:19,244
But, Captain, I'm not sure...
It can't fail.
559
00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:22,884
And besides,
look at her little face.
560
00:26:22,948 --> 00:26:25,827
(HIGH-PITCHED) I sure want
to win that science prize.
561
00:26:25,884 --> 00:26:27,022
Squawk!
562
00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:28,758
Bravo, Captain!
563
00:26:28,820 --> 00:26:32,267
I see you're
a man of vision!
564
00:26:34,025 --> 00:26:36,631
Right, then, Charles. When is
this science show of yours?
565
00:26:36,695 --> 00:26:38,402
A week tomorrow.
566
00:26:38,463 --> 00:26:39,908
Ah, confound it!
567
00:26:39,998 --> 00:26:41,875
You see, we could've made that
with a good wind behind us,
568
00:26:41,933 --> 00:26:44,709
but unfortunately there's this dirty
great sea monster in the way.
569
00:26:45,303 --> 00:26:51,515
Um, mmm, I think they just add those
onto maps for decoration, Captain.
570
00:26:54,412 --> 00:26:56,153
Is that a fact?
571
00:26:56,214 --> 00:26:58,057
Well, blow me down.
572
00:26:58,116 --> 00:26:59,857
(LAUGHS) I dare,
you could learn something
573
00:26:59,918 --> 00:27:01,158
from this fine fellow,
Number Two.
574
00:27:04,689 --> 00:27:04,788
J' London calling
to the faraway towns
575
00:27:04,789 --> 00:27:07,963
J' London calling
to the faraway towns
576
00:27:08,026 --> 00:27:11,803
J' Now war is declared
and battle come down
577
00:27:11,863 --> 00:27:13,968
J' London calling
to the underworld
578
00:27:14,032 --> 00:27:15,306
(GIGGLING)
579
00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:18,940
J' Come out of the cupboard,
you boys and girls
580
00:27:19,004 --> 00:27:22,508
J' London calling,
see, we ain't got no high
581
00:27:22,574 --> 00:27:25,646
♪ 'Cept for that one
with the yellowy eyes
582
00:27:30,682 --> 00:27:32,525
J' Now get this
583
00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:35,827
J' London calling,
yes, I was there, too
584
00:27:35,887 --> 00:27:39,664
J' And you know what they said?
Well, some of it was true
585
00:27:39,724 --> 00:27:43,137
J' London calling
at the top of the dial
586
00:27:43,194 --> 00:27:45,674
J' And after all this,
won't you give me a smile?
587
00:27:45,964 --> 00:27:47,739
PIRATE CAPTAIN:
Ah! London Town.
588
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,607
The most romantic city
in the world.
589
00:27:54,105 --> 00:27:57,382
J' I never felt so much alike
alike, alike, alike... J'
590
00:27:59,544 --> 00:28:02,184
(SHIP CREAKING)
591
00:28:06,818 --> 00:28:08,991
"Queen Victoria
592
00:28:09,220 --> 00:28:12,394
"welcomes you to London."
593
00:28:12,457 --> 00:28:13,868
Ah, that's nice.
594
00:28:13,925 --> 00:28:15,563
Perhaps she's not
so bad after all.
595
00:28:18,897 --> 00:28:20,035
(ALL GASP)
596
00:28:21,499 --> 00:28:24,002
Well, don't look so worried,
Number Two.
597
00:28:24,069 --> 00:28:25,844
Pirates are
always visiting London.
598
00:28:25,937 --> 00:28:27,348
(MOANING EERILY)
599
00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:29,917
Turn back!
600
00:28:30,475 --> 00:28:32,955
This is the fate
of pirates here!
601
00:28:33,745 --> 00:28:35,486
Is that Scarlett Morgan?
602
00:28:36,448 --> 00:28:38,155
(CHUCKLES)
Pirate Captain.
603
00:28:38,216 --> 00:28:39,593
Goodness me!
604
00:28:39,684 --> 00:28:42,187
I haven't seen you since
that business in Madagascar.
605
00:28:45,156 --> 00:28:47,466
Ah, yes. I could've
sworn they were girls.
606
00:28:47,525 --> 00:28:48,731
You're looking well, Morgan.
607
00:28:49,127 --> 00:28:50,538
Yeah, lost a bit of weight.
608
00:28:50,595 --> 00:28:52,131
What are you
up to these days?
609
00:28:52,197 --> 00:28:53,267
Oh, you know,
this and that.
610
00:28:53,331 --> 00:28:55,834
Yeah, just gonna enter a
science competition, actually.
611
00:28:55,934 --> 00:28:57,038
Ah! Good luck with that.
612
00:28:57,102 --> 00:28:58,172
Yeah, thanks, thanks.
613
00:28:58,236 --> 00:28:59,306
Eh?
614
00:28:59,370 --> 00:29:01,372
(DISTANT WAILING)
615
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:02,881
No, no, wait, wait!
616
00:29:02,941 --> 00:29:04,147
Turn back!
617
00:29:04,209 --> 00:29:06,086
Turn back.
618
00:29:06,144 --> 00:29:08,556
(SHIP CREAKING)
619
00:29:08,613 --> 00:29:09,956
(SHIP CRASHES)
620
00:29:11,082 --> 00:29:12,083
Oops. Sorry.
Oh, no!
621
00:29:12,183 --> 00:29:14,322
Look what you've done to me boat.
Look at the state of it.
622
00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:15,762
I hope you've got some
insurance, 'cause I...
623
00:29:15,820 --> 00:29:17,390
(ANCHOR CLANKS)
Ow.
624
00:29:17,489 --> 00:29:18,934
Right, then. We'll be off.
625
00:29:18,990 --> 00:29:20,697
I'll bring her back tomorrow
straight after the show.
626
00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:23,171
Well, don't be daft, Charles.
I'll be presenting Polly.
627
00:29:23,461 --> 00:29:24,701
You?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
628
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,902
I always fancied trying my
hand at a spot of science.
629
00:29:27,532 --> 00:29:28,806
But you can't. I mean,
630
00:29:28,867 --> 00:29:31,473
the streets of London
are no place for pirates.
631
00:29:31,536 --> 00:29:33,072
Pirates? What pirates?
632
00:29:33,138 --> 00:29:34,242
(GAS PS)
633
00:29:34,439 --> 00:29:35,577
Nobody here
but us Girl Guides.
634
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:36,744
Yes!
635
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:39,816
I've got a badge
for looting.
636
00:29:39,878 --> 00:29:42,950
We're not really Girl Guides.
It's us, the pirates.
637
00:29:43,014 --> 00:29:44,721
We're masters of disguise.
638
00:29:44,816 --> 00:29:46,989
How ingenious.
639
00:29:47,051 --> 00:29:50,328
But all the same, Captain,
best we lie low for the night.
640
00:29:50,388 --> 00:29:51,799
Perhaps at my house.
641
00:29:51,856 --> 00:29:53,961
Captain, I really think...
Good plan, Chuck.
642
00:29:54,025 --> 00:29:56,767
Be fun to see how
you boffin types live.
643
00:29:56,828 --> 00:29:57,829
Mmm-hmm.
644
00:29:59,364 --> 00:30:01,571
Well, come on. Taxi!
645
00:30:03,601 --> 00:30:05,205
Evening, Officer.
646
00:30:05,270 --> 00:30:06,772
Hidey-ho, ladies.
647
00:30:06,838 --> 00:30:07,873
(GIGGLES)
648
00:30:11,042 --> 00:30:12,680
(SNIFFING)
649
00:30:12,844 --> 00:30:15,984
ALBINO PIRATE:
London smells like Grandma.
650
00:30:21,886 --> 00:30:23,661
Whoa.
(HORSE NEIGHS)
651
00:30:24,088 --> 00:30:26,125
Here we are.
652
00:30:26,191 --> 00:30:28,137
Home, sweet home.
653
00:30:32,463 --> 00:30:35,637
You don't get many women
back here, do you, Charles?
654
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,140
People who live alone
are always serial killers.
655
00:30:39,204 --> 00:30:40,205
(GAS PS)
656
00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:45,677
(GAS PS)
657
00:30:46,644 --> 00:30:48,180
PIRATE CAPTAIN:
Sweet Neptune on a bike!
658
00:30:49,147 --> 00:30:50,785
DARWIN:
Oh, don't mind Mr. Bobo.
659
00:30:50,982 --> 00:30:52,052
Just an old project of mine.
660
00:30:52,116 --> 00:30:53,151
Project?
661
00:30:53,618 --> 00:30:54,961
Yeah, I had this theory.
662
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:57,827
I thought that if you took a
monkey, gave him a monocle
663
00:30:57,889 --> 00:30:59,800
and covered up his gigantic,
unsightly ass,
664
00:31:00,458 --> 00:31:02,460
then he would cease to be a
monkey and become more of a...
665
00:31:03,394 --> 00:31:05,670
A man-panzee, if you will.
666
00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:06,765
Bold theory.
667
00:31:06,831 --> 00:31:08,833
I don't like the monkey.
668
00:31:09,467 --> 00:31:11,708
But to be honest,
monkeys are 10 a penny.
669
00:31:11,769 --> 00:31:13,771
He's not a patch
on Polly here.
670
00:31:13,838 --> 00:31:15,078
Oh!
671
00:31:15,373 --> 00:31:16,943
Anyhow, big day tomorrow.
672
00:31:17,075 --> 00:31:18,213
We all need our rest.
673
00:31:18,276 --> 00:31:21,257
Let me show you
to your room, Captain.
674
00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:23,787
PIRATE CAPTAIN:
Right behind you, Chuck.
675
00:31:23,848 --> 00:31:25,088
(GRUNTS)
676
00:31:26,951 --> 00:31:29,625
(TOILET FLUSHES)
677
00:31:31,489 --> 00:31:32,695
(GAS PS)
678
00:31:34,626 --> 00:31:36,628
DARWIN: (WHISPERING)
Now, shh, here's the plan.
679
00:31:36,694 --> 00:31:40,437
You know what to do. Wait until
the bearded idiot is asleep,
680
00:31:40,498 --> 00:31:41,738
then sneak into
his room and...
681
00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:44,979
Shh!
682
00:31:46,004 --> 00:31:47,312
(FLOORBOARD CREAKS)
683
00:31:54,312 --> 00:31:55,450
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
684
00:31:56,748 --> 00:31:57,783
Captain.
685
00:31:57,849 --> 00:32:00,853
It's... It's Mr. Darwin, sir.
I'm sure he's up to no good.
686
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:02,899
Oh, honestly, Number Two,
what's got into you?
687
00:32:02,954 --> 00:32:06,163
Thanks to Charles, we're about
to win lavish untold riches,
688
00:32:06,224 --> 00:32:08,534
and here you are trying to find
fault with the poor fellow.
689
00:32:08,826 --> 00:32:10,669
Yes, but... No, no, no.
Not another word.
690
00:32:10,728 --> 00:32:14,335
A future Pirate of the Year
needs his beauty sleep.
691
00:32:14,399 --> 00:32:17,209
Do you think you could make
nautical noises until we drop off?
692
00:32:20,672 --> 00:32:23,243
(MAKING WHOOSHING SOUNDS)
693
00:32:24,709 --> 00:32:26,086
Oh, that's lovely.
Now, that is lovely.
694
00:32:26,210 --> 00:32:27,621
Can you do
the shiver a timber?
695
00:32:27,679 --> 00:32:28,680
(SIGHS)
696
00:32:28,746 --> 00:32:30,555
Oh... Mmm.
697
00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:32,492
(IMITATES WOOD CREAKING)
698
00:32:32,550 --> 00:32:33,893
(YAWNS)
699
00:32:33,985 --> 00:32:36,431
And just chuck in
a few gulls, would you?
700
00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:38,156
Caw, caw, caw!
701
00:32:38,222 --> 00:32:39,860
(SNORING)
702
00:32:42,193 --> 00:32:45,504
(SNORING LOUDLY)
703
00:32:55,406 --> 00:32:56,885
(YAWNS)
704
00:33:04,215 --> 00:33:06,984
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
705
00:33:06,985 --> 00:33:08,896
(GRUNTING SOFTLY)
706
00:33:09,087 --> 00:33:11,397
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and
gentlemen, our winner.
707
00:33:11,756 --> 00:33:15,203
Give it up for
the Pirate Captain!
708
00:33:31,642 --> 00:33:34,555
Congratulations,
Pirate Captain.
709
00:33:35,446 --> 00:33:37,653
Nobody deserves
this more than you.
710
00:33:37,715 --> 00:33:38,887
(CHUCKLES)
711
00:33:39,017 --> 00:33:40,462
Thanks, Cutlass.
712
00:33:40,518 --> 00:33:43,431
And that beard
of yours, (GASPS)
713
00:33:44,756 --> 00:33:46,258
it drives me
714
00:33:46,324 --> 00:33:48,167
crazy.
715
00:33:48,226 --> 00:33:49,967
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
716
00:33:51,929 --> 00:33:52,930
(GAS PS)
717
00:33:52,997 --> 00:33:54,237
(LAUGHING)
718
00:33:54,298 --> 00:33:55,777
Give it here.
(STRAINING)
719
00:33:55,833 --> 00:33:57,574
Give it back,
Bellamy, it's mine!
720
00:33:57,869 --> 00:33:59,439
No, give it back.
721
00:33:59,504 --> 00:34:01,108
(LAUGH ECHOES)
722
00:34:01,172 --> 00:34:02,173
(STARTLED SHOUT)
723
00:34:03,641 --> 00:34:04,676
Neptune's navel!
724
00:34:05,076 --> 00:34:06,146
Come back here, you lubber.
725
00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:07,245
Stop, thief!
726
00:34:07,311 --> 00:34:08,312
(GRUNTS)
727
00:34:11,115 --> 00:34:12,389
(SQUAWKS)
728
00:34:17,355 --> 00:34:19,028
(GRUNTS)
729
00:34:21,626 --> 00:34:22,764
I'll take that.
730
00:34:22,827 --> 00:34:23,931
(RUMBLING)
731
00:34:24,028 --> 00:34:25,871
Not so fast, my friend.
732
00:34:25,930 --> 00:34:27,068
(SCREAMS)
733
00:34:27,231 --> 00:34:28,539
Number Two!
734
00:34:29,967 --> 00:34:32,140
Number Two,
are you all right?
735
00:34:32,236 --> 00:34:33,442
(GAS PS)
736
00:34:33,938 --> 00:34:35,884
Unhand that dodo!
737
00:34:37,141 --> 00:34:38,142
Whoa!
738
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:40,321
(SCREAMS)
739
00:34:41,045 --> 00:34:43,651
(GAS PS)
740
00:34:45,316 --> 00:34:46,454
Evening, Captain.
741
00:34:46,551 --> 00:34:48,622
(FLOORBOARDS CREAKING,
CRACKING)
742
00:34:50,455 --> 00:34:52,332
(BOTH SCREAMING)
743
00:34:57,028 --> 00:34:58,029
(WATCH TICKING)
744
00:34:58,096 --> 00:34:59,097
(THUDDING, CLATTERING)
745
00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:01,439
(BOTH SCREAMING)
746
00:35:03,601 --> 00:35:04,807
(SCREAMING)
747
00:35:04,869 --> 00:35:06,177
(GAS PS)
748
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:08,611
(BOTH SCREAM)
749
00:35:08,673 --> 00:35:10,482
Oh, Number Two!
750
00:35:11,375 --> 00:35:12,445
(SCREAMS)
751
00:35:12,510 --> 00:35:14,114
(ALL SCREAMING)
752
00:35:18,216 --> 00:35:20,218
(SCREAMS)
We're under attack!
753
00:35:20,351 --> 00:35:21,694
Abandon ship!
754
00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:23,788
(ALL SCREAMING)
755
00:35:26,090 --> 00:35:28,036
Hello, Pirate Captain,
Pirate with a Scarf!
756
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:32,635
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
757
00:35:41,205 --> 00:35:43,446
Come back here,
Mysterious Shadowy Figure!
758
00:35:43,508 --> 00:35:44,509
(GAS PS)
759
00:35:47,912 --> 00:35:49,323
Faster! Faster!
760
00:35:52,583 --> 00:35:53,584
(GAS PS)
761
00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:06,805
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
762
00:36:14,672 --> 00:36:16,549
(PIRATES SCREAMING)
763
00:36:17,241 --> 00:36:19,619
Got you!
Are you all right, girl?
764
00:36:19,710 --> 00:36:22,520
Captain!
I mean, what's going on?
765
00:36:22,580 --> 00:36:24,491
Don't play the innocent.
766
00:36:24,549 --> 00:36:28,087
You and your hench-monkey
tried to steal Polly.
767
00:36:28,152 --> 00:36:31,190
Steal Polly? Oh, dear me,
no, you're mistaken.
768
00:36:31,255 --> 00:36:33,929
Then how
do you explain this?
769
00:36:36,394 --> 00:36:37,737
(DOOR CREAKS)
770
00:36:42,333 --> 00:36:45,212
Well, I think it's obvious
what's happened, isn't it?
771
00:36:45,269 --> 00:36:46,339
Is it?
772
00:36:46,404 --> 00:36:48,611
Some jealous
rival scientist
773
00:36:48,673 --> 00:36:51,517
must have tried to
make off with the dodo.
774
00:36:51,776 --> 00:36:54,086
Well,
that explains everything.
775
00:36:54,912 --> 00:36:57,051
Captain, please, let's go.
776
00:36:57,114 --> 00:36:58,491
Polly's not safe in London.
777
00:36:58,549 --> 00:37:00,756
I couldn't bear it if
something happened to Polly.
778
00:37:00,818 --> 00:37:03,298
Nothing is going
to happen to Polly.
779
00:37:03,354 --> 00:37:06,358
She'll be perfectly safe.
Leave everything to me.
780
00:37:06,424 --> 00:37:08,426
Now, come on, we can't
keep that prize waiting.
781
00:37:08,492 --> 00:37:10,028
(CLEARS THROAT)
782
00:37:19,737 --> 00:37:23,607
Um... Anyone got a towel?
783
00:37:23,608 --> 00:37:23,949
784
00:37:34,218 --> 00:37:36,721
DARWIN: Nice going,
banana butt.
785
00:37:36,854 --> 00:37:39,562
Now this briny buffoon
is gonna grab all the glory.
786
00:37:39,624 --> 00:37:41,035
It's a disaster.
787
00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:42,127
It's...
788
00:37:42,193 --> 00:37:43,194
(SPUTTERS)
789
00:37:43,995 --> 00:37:46,373
Bad news,
I'm afraid, Captain.
790
00:37:46,430 --> 00:37:47,500
You can't go in.
791
00:37:47,565 --> 00:37:48,703
Eh?
Mmm.
792
00:37:48,866 --> 00:37:51,710
It's strictly scientists
only, you see.
793
00:37:52,336 --> 00:37:55,215
I'll just have
to present Polly
794
00:37:55,406 --> 00:37:56,476
myself.
795
00:37:56,540 --> 00:37:59,248
We're not really scientists.
It's us, the pirates.
796
00:37:59,310 --> 00:38:02,416
See? (CHUCKLES)
Masters of disguise.
797
00:38:02,546 --> 00:38:03,752
But where's Polly?
798
00:38:03,814 --> 00:38:06,351
That is on a need-to-know basis
from here on in, Charles.
799
00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:08,425
Pardon?
I am keeping her hidden.
800
00:38:08,486 --> 00:38:11,524
That shadowy figure
could be anywhere.
801
00:38:11,689 --> 00:38:14,067
Luckily, I am not only
a master of disguises,
802
00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:17,072
I am also a master
of hiding things.
803
00:38:17,128 --> 00:38:19,267
Right, lads, let's show
these boffins what's what.
804
00:38:19,330 --> 00:38:20,934
But, Captain.
805
00:38:20,998 --> 00:38:21,999
Really, I...
806
00:38:22,066 --> 00:38:23,101
Hello!
807
00:38:23,334 --> 00:38:25,871
(BELL DINGS) We're here
for the science show.
808
00:38:25,936 --> 00:38:27,643
We're scientists.
Hmm?
809
00:38:27,772 --> 00:38:30,184
That's a pipette,
this is Charles Darwin,
810
00:38:30,241 --> 00:38:31,948
and I am
the Scientist Captain.
811
00:38:32,343 --> 00:38:35,950
If you're a scientist,
name three elements.
812
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:37,218
Oh, well, let's see now.
813
00:38:37,281 --> 00:38:39,989
There's...
There's gold, ham...
814
00:38:40,418 --> 00:38:41,795
Mmm-hmm?
815
00:38:41,986 --> 00:38:44,023
...and
816
00:38:44,088 --> 00:38:45,465
the tears of a mermaid.
817
00:38:46,557 --> 00:38:49,663
Yeah, two out of three Close enough.
First on your left.
818
00:38:49,727 --> 00:38:52,537
The balloon of my
airship contains
819
00:38:52,596 --> 00:38:54,633
20,000 cubic feet of hydrogen gas.
Excuse me.
820
00:38:54,699 --> 00:38:55,939
Sorry.
(GASPS)
821
00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:58,943
Just here, you will
notice the open log fire
822
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,483
to ensure a comfortable
temperature at higher altitudes.
823
00:39:01,539 --> 00:39:02,711
(PEOPLE GRUNT)
Ooh!
824
00:39:02,873 --> 00:39:04,250
Captain?
825
00:39:04,742 --> 00:39:06,380
Captain, Captain, please.
826
00:39:06,444 --> 00:39:08,321
You can't possibly appear
on stage without Polly.
827
00:39:08,379 --> 00:39:10,450
Patience, Charles.
All in good time.
828
00:39:10,548 --> 00:39:12,585
(SINISTER LAUGH)
Excuse me. Sorry.
829
00:39:12,683 --> 00:39:13,991
(ANGRY GRUNTING)
830
00:39:14,051 --> 00:39:15,086
Sorry.
831
00:39:15,219 --> 00:39:16,254
SCIENTIST: Idiot!
832
00:39:18,322 --> 00:39:20,233
Just a tick.
Oh, but, Captain...
833
00:39:20,925 --> 00:39:22,199
(SQUAWKS)
834
00:39:25,763 --> 00:39:27,106
How on earth did...
835
00:39:27,164 --> 00:39:33,547
My airship will revolutionize the
fields of meteorology and cartography.
836
00:39:33,604 --> 00:39:34,639
(SLURPING)
But mostly,
837
00:39:35,639 --> 00:39:38,142
it's for looking
down ladies' tops.
838
00:39:38,542 --> 00:39:40,215
(APPLAUSE)
Ingenious.
839
00:39:41,479 --> 00:39:42,583
(METER muss)
840
00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:45,160
(SINGING SCALES)
841
00:39:45,316 --> 00:39:47,796
Captain, I really,
really think
842
00:39:47,852 --> 00:39:50,059
it would be best
if I take over from here.
843
00:39:50,321 --> 00:39:52,096
There's a certain manner in which
these things are conduc...
844
00:39:52,256 --> 00:39:53,257
Nonsense, Chuck.
845
00:39:53,324 --> 00:39:56,703
What this science stuff needs
is a bit of showmanship!
846
00:40:00,731 --> 00:40:02,677
(GROWLS)
847
00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,110
(GAS PS)
848
00:40:08,639 --> 00:40:09,845
(WHIMPERS)
849
00:40:09,907 --> 00:40:11,887
(SCREAMS)
850
00:40:12,843 --> 00:40:14,220
Look, it's the captain.
851
00:40:14,445 --> 00:40:16,550
Captain! Captain!
Shh!
852
00:40:18,048 --> 00:40:21,495
Fellow scientists,
poindexters, geeks,
853
00:40:22,119 --> 00:40:23,723
(GROANS)
854
00:40:23,788 --> 00:40:25,165
prepare to be confounded.
855
00:40:25,656 --> 00:40:27,658
Prepare to be amazed.
856
00:40:27,725 --> 00:40:28,965
Prepare to...
857
00:40:29,026 --> 00:40:31,563
Oh-ho, wait a second.
What's this?
858
00:40:35,199 --> 00:40:36,234
(CLEARS THROAT)
859
00:40:36,300 --> 00:40:37,779
What's this?
860
00:40:41,639 --> 00:40:42,913
Stop!
861
00:40:42,973 --> 00:40:44,111
(CLEARS THROAT)
862
00:40:44,208 --> 00:40:46,848
I am the world's
leading doctor,
863
00:40:47,011 --> 00:40:51,482
and I declare the science you are
doing is too shocking by half.
864
00:40:51,549 --> 00:40:52,550
Dr. Albino,
865
00:40:52,616 --> 00:40:55,256
are you saying that those of a nervous
disposition should leave immediately,
866
00:40:55,319 --> 00:40:58,323
in case the sheer unexpected
remarkableness of my discovery
867
00:40:58,389 --> 00:41:00,232
should cause
their hearts to explode?
868
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,599
(SIGHS)
869
00:41:01,659 --> 00:41:04,037
Uh...
870
00:41:04,328 --> 00:41:05,398
lam.
871
00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:08,706
Well, science lovers,
you have been warned.
872
00:41:08,866 --> 00:41:12,336
This is our most
educational adventure ever.
873
00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:15,474
(PLAYING
ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA)
874
00:41:18,008 --> 00:41:20,352
Back from the dead.
875
00:41:20,411 --> 00:41:22,482
Back from beyond the grave.
876
00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:26,394
Back to astound you all.
877
00:41:26,550 --> 00:41:28,359
The ninth wonder
of the world.
878
00:41:28,419 --> 00:41:32,128
She's traveled halfway across
the globe to be here tonight.
879
00:41:32,189 --> 00:41:35,636
Here's Polly!
880
00:41:35,693 --> 00:41:37,001
(CROWD GAS PS)
881
00:41:37,595 --> 00:41:39,632
MAN: It's a dodo.
882
00:41:39,697 --> 00:41:41,643
(GAS PS)
883
00:41:41,732 --> 00:41:43,268
By Jove.
884
00:41:45,936 --> 00:41:47,677
That is astounding!
885
00:41:47,738 --> 00:41:48,739
(CHEERING)
886
00:41:48,806 --> 00:41:49,807
(SIGHS)
887
00:41:49,874 --> 00:41:51,285
(METER muss)
888
00:41:51,342 --> 00:41:52,980
(GASPS, SIGHS WEAKLY)
889
00:41:53,043 --> 00:41:54,351
(METER muss)
890
00:41:54,545 --> 00:41:56,582
An actual dodo!
891
00:41:56,747 --> 00:42:00,126
Makes electricity
look like a pile of crap.
892
00:42:05,356 --> 00:42:06,528
(LIGHT BULB CRACKLING
WITH ELECTRICITY)
893
00:42:06,590 --> 00:42:09,469
MAN:
The Royal Society's prize
894
00:42:09,527 --> 00:42:12,770
for best
scientific discovery...
895
00:42:13,063 --> 00:42:14,235
Oh, I hope
it's not a check.
896
00:42:14,298 --> 00:42:16,335
...Is awarded to...
897
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:17,845
Have you any idea
what the sterling-doubloon
898
00:42:17,902 --> 00:42:19,040
exchange rate
is these days?
899
00:42:19,103 --> 00:42:21,379
...the Scientist Captain.
900
00:42:21,639 --> 00:42:23,243
(APPLAUSE)
Thank you, thank you.
901
00:42:23,307 --> 00:42:24,479
You're too kind.
902
00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,146
Please stop.
Enough. Thank you.
903
00:42:26,277 --> 00:42:27,449
Thank you.
904
00:42:31,916 --> 00:42:34,157
(GASPS) Is that it?
905
00:42:34,218 --> 00:42:35,253
Oh, no.
906
00:42:35,386 --> 00:42:36,421
Ah, good.
907
00:42:36,487 --> 00:42:37,488
You also get
908
00:42:37,588 --> 00:42:41,502
this leather-bound
set of encyclopedias.
909
00:42:43,694 --> 00:42:45,002
Excuse me just one moment.
Thank you.
910
00:42:45,062 --> 00:42:46,063
(GROANS)
911
00:42:46,964 --> 00:42:47,965
Okay, Chuck.
912
00:42:48,032 --> 00:42:50,308
Now, I like encyclopedias
as much as the next man,
913
00:42:50,634 --> 00:42:53,877
but they're not exactly gonna help
me win Pirate of the Year, are they?
914
00:42:54,872 --> 00:42:56,442
(GLASS SHATTERS)
Where's the booty?
915
00:42:56,507 --> 00:42:58,316
Booty? What booty?
916
00:42:58,375 --> 00:43:01,948
The prize! The "untold
riches," remember?
917
00:43:02,012 --> 00:43:03,389
Oh.
918
00:43:03,581 --> 00:43:05,527
Perhaps I didn't explain.
919
00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:07,358
It's not all about money.
920
00:43:07,618 --> 00:43:09,825
No, the real prize is...
921
00:43:09,887 --> 00:43:12,197
MAN: Her Royal Majesty,
the Empress of India,
922
00:43:12,389 --> 00:43:14,596
Ruler of the Kingdom
of Java...
923
00:43:14,658 --> 00:43:15,693
...a personal
audience with...
924
00:43:15,826 --> 00:43:16,896
...Defender of the Faith,
925
00:43:17,027 --> 00:43:18,870
Queen Victoria!
Queen Victoria
926
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:20,674
herself.
(GASPS)
927
00:43:21,498 --> 00:43:22,499
(GAS PS)
928
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:49,100
Scientist Captain,
929
00:43:49,259 --> 00:43:51,034
congratulations.
930
00:43:51,095 --> 00:43:52,369
What a tremendous discovery.
931
00:43:52,429 --> 00:43:54,670
(STAMMERING) Your, uh...
Your Majesty.
932
00:43:54,798 --> 00:43:57,904
And who are these
charming fellows?
933
00:43:57,968 --> 00:43:59,038
Well, this is my crew.
934
00:43:59,103 --> 00:44:01,481
By which he means
lab assistant crew.
935
00:44:01,538 --> 00:44:04,246
Yes, yes. I'm using "crew"
in the street sense.
936
00:44:04,308 --> 00:44:05,582
Yo.
937
00:44:05,709 --> 00:44:08,121
And I'm Charles Darwin,
Your Majesty.
938
00:44:08,178 --> 00:44:11,022
I helped find the dodo.
939
00:44:11,081 --> 00:44:12,617
Yes, whatever.
940
00:44:12,683 --> 00:44:15,664
But where has your delightful
creature disappeared to?
941
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:17,756
Resting, ma'am.
Hidden away.
942
00:44:17,821 --> 00:44:20,267
I only let her out for the
big performance, I'm afraid.
943
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:23,464
In case sinister forces should try
to make off with her, you see.
944
00:44:23,527 --> 00:44:25,006
Sinister forces?
945
00:44:25,062 --> 00:44:26,439
Ooh, dear.
946
00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:30,411
Well, we have a wonderful
petting zoo at the palace
947
00:44:30,467 --> 00:44:32,811
where Polly
would be quite safe.
948
00:44:33,203 --> 00:44:34,682
Perhaps we could
949
00:44:35,472 --> 00:44:37,474
take her off your hands.
950
00:44:37,608 --> 00:44:41,055
(CHUCKLES) I'm sorry, ma'am, but
that's out of the question.
951
00:44:41,111 --> 00:44:42,522
But she'd have a lovely time.
952
00:44:42,579 --> 00:44:46,254
There are guinea pigs
and a donkey.
953
00:44:46,316 --> 00:44:47,590
No, no, I couldn't, ma'am.
954
00:44:47,718 --> 00:44:51,791
Not even for little old me?
955
00:44:51,855 --> 00:44:53,596
No, no, no,
I'm afraid not, ma'am.
956
00:44:53,657 --> 00:44:56,001
No, you see, there is nothing
more important to a pirate
957
00:44:56,060 --> 00:44:57,630
than his trusted dodo.
(GASPS)
958
00:44:57,695 --> 00:45:00,642
She is the feathery heart
and soul of the boat.
959
00:45:01,965 --> 00:45:03,376
Did you say...
960
00:45:06,236 --> 00:45:07,271
..."pirate"?
961
00:45:07,337 --> 00:45:08,680
(MEN GASP)
962
00:45:08,939 --> 00:45:10,885
Pirate? No, no, no, no, no.
963
00:45:10,941 --> 00:45:12,318
Scientist. (CHUCKLES)
964
00:45:12,376 --> 00:45:15,050
Yes, good old, good old science.
Can't get enough of it.
965
00:45:15,112 --> 00:45:16,386
Mixing stuff together.
966
00:45:16,447 --> 00:45:18,449
You know, test tube tubing
and Bunsen burning.
967
00:45:18,515 --> 00:45:19,960
See? (GRUNTS)
968
00:45:20,017 --> 00:45:21,758
(MEN GASPING)
969
00:45:22,519 --> 00:45:24,396
He's no scientist!
970
00:45:24,455 --> 00:45:26,332
He's a Girl Guide!
971
00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:27,596
Ooh! (GRUNTS)
972
00:45:27,658 --> 00:45:28,659
(MEN GASPING)
973
00:45:28,726 --> 00:45:30,137
He's no Girl Guide!
974
00:45:30,661 --> 00:45:32,140
He's a pirate!
BOTH: Pirate!
975
00:45:35,165 --> 00:45:36,405
Hang on, hang on.
976
00:45:36,467 --> 00:45:37,810
There's been some
kind of mistake. Some...
977
00:45:37,868 --> 00:45:38,869
(GRUNTS)
978
00:45:38,969 --> 00:45:40,505
Some silly mistake
Whoa, laddies!
979
00:45:40,571 --> 00:45:42,414
Stop, stop. I can explain.
980
00:45:42,473 --> 00:45:43,474
(GAS PS)
981
00:45:58,856 --> 00:46:00,335
Your Majesty.
982
00:46:01,158 --> 00:46:02,193
He's hidden the dodo.
983
00:46:02,259 --> 00:46:03,397
If you chop
his head off now,
984
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:05,335
we might never
find out where.
985
00:46:05,829 --> 00:46:06,830
Wait a mo.
986
00:46:16,507 --> 00:46:17,747
(GAS PS)
987
00:46:18,475 --> 00:46:20,580
One doesn't know why.
988
00:46:20,644 --> 00:46:24,820
Perhaps it's his luxuriant
beard or his gleaming teeth
989
00:46:24,982 --> 00:46:27,963
or the way he smells
faintly of coconuts.
990
00:46:28,018 --> 00:46:31,090
But we have taken
a shine to this pirate.
991
00:46:31,388 --> 00:46:34,631
Do you have a name,
pirate captain?
992
00:46:35,025 --> 00:46:37,972
They call me
the Pirate Captain.
993
00:46:38,362 --> 00:46:40,342
Well, Pirate Captain,
994
00:46:40,397 --> 00:46:44,038
we hereby pardon you
of your piratical crimes.
995
00:46:44,101 --> 00:46:45,774
(APPLAUSE)
996
00:46:45,836 --> 00:46:46,837
(MEN GASP)
997
00:46:49,139 --> 00:46:51,016
You will stay in London,
Pirate Captain,
998
00:46:51,074 --> 00:46:53,884
and entertain us with your
stories and your wit.
999
00:46:54,545 --> 00:46:56,547
And especially
1000
00:46:56,747 --> 00:47:01,423
your dear little dodo.
1001
00:47:05,556 --> 00:47:06,626
Hell's barnacles.
1002
00:47:06,690 --> 00:47:08,397
Can we please
get out of here now?
1003
00:47:08,458 --> 00:47:10,062
That was a bit close for
comfort, Number Two.
1004
00:47:10,227 --> 00:47:13,265
I will get you the dodo,
Your Majesty.
1005
00:47:13,330 --> 00:47:15,469
See that you do,
Mr. Darwin.
1006
00:47:15,532 --> 00:47:17,375
(HOOVES CLOPPING)
1007
00:47:17,434 --> 00:47:18,435
(CHUCKLES WEAKLY)
1008
00:47:20,204 --> 00:47:21,205
Ooh! Uh...
1009
00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:23,477
Captain?
1010
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:25,875
Captain! Captain!
1011
00:47:25,876 --> 00:47:26,075
1012
00:47:26,076 --> 00:47:27,817
Hurry up, lads, chop-chop.
1013
00:47:27,878 --> 00:47:29,289
Let's get back to sea
where we belong.
1014
00:47:29,346 --> 00:47:31,087
PIRATES:
Aye, aye, Captain!
1015
00:47:31,248 --> 00:47:32,693
I told you coming
to London was a bad idea.
1016
00:47:32,749 --> 00:47:34,126
The sooner I get
the smell of brine in my...
1017
00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:35,595
DARWIN: Captain!
1018
00:47:35,886 --> 00:47:37,331
Captain!
1019
00:47:37,387 --> 00:47:38,695
Whoa!
Whoa!
1020
00:47:38,755 --> 00:47:40,132
(GAS PS)
1021
00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:42,299
You're not leaving, surely?
1022
00:47:43,026 --> 00:47:44,403
I most certainly am.
1023
00:47:44,461 --> 00:47:45,906
You've let me down
badly, Charles.
1024
00:47:46,230 --> 00:47:47,732
Look! Look!
1025
00:47:47,798 --> 00:47:48,902
Also, to be frank...
Captain...
1026
00:47:48,966 --> 00:47:50,741
...your nose is too small
for your face.
1027
00:47:51,068 --> 00:47:52,843
But you're the toast
of London Town.
1028
00:47:56,974 --> 00:47:58,715
Oh, I say, look at that.
1029
00:47:58,775 --> 00:47:59,776
Ooh!
1030
00:47:59,843 --> 00:48:01,322
They've really
captured my eyes.
1031
00:48:01,378 --> 00:48:04,450
We were hoping you might
come out for a little
1032
00:48:04,514 --> 00:48:05,549
celebration before you go.
1033
00:48:05,616 --> 00:48:07,152
(PEOPLE CHUCKLING)
1034
00:48:09,052 --> 00:48:11,965
We don't want to miss
the tide, Captain.
1035
00:48:12,022 --> 00:48:14,059
No, no, no. Quite right, quite right.
Oh, Captain,
1036
00:48:14,524 --> 00:48:16,970
do join us, please?
1037
00:48:18,195 --> 00:48:20,971
I'll just stop for a quick one.
Rude to refuse.
1038
00:48:21,031 --> 00:48:22,533
But it's Ham Night.
I'll be 20 minutes.
1039
00:48:22,599 --> 00:48:23,703
Half an hour tops.
1040
00:48:23,767 --> 00:48:25,678
Just get her... Get her
warmed up without me.
1041
00:48:25,736 --> 00:48:26,737
Aren't we going yet?
1042
00:48:26,803 --> 00:48:27,804
Shh!
1043
00:48:27,871 --> 00:48:29,976
(WHISPERING) But what about
winning the Pirate of the Year
1044
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,543
and showing all those other
captains that he's not a loser?
1045
00:48:37,648 --> 00:48:39,127
(SIGHS)
1046
00:48:40,784 --> 00:48:43,287
WOMAN: Yoo-hoo!
Come along, Captain.
1047
00:48:43,353 --> 00:48:44,661
Captain...
1048
00:48:45,188 --> 00:48:46,599
Cheers!
Good evening.
1049
00:48:46,657 --> 00:48:48,330
Thank you.
Thank you so very much.
1050
00:48:48,392 --> 00:48:49,769
Captain... PIRATE CAPTAIN:
And your name is?
1051
00:48:49,826 --> 00:48:51,703
DARWIN: Miss Jane Austen.
(SIGHS)
1052
00:48:52,162 --> 00:48:53,163
(GRUNTS)
1053
00:48:53,230 --> 00:48:54,470
(ANCHOR CLANKS)
(MAN SCREAMS)
1054
00:48:54,531 --> 00:48:56,875
(LIVELY PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
1055
00:48:57,034 --> 00:49:00,538
PIRATE CAPTAIN: And that, and
that is why, in a straight fight,
1056
00:49:00,604 --> 00:49:03,141
a shark would probably
beat a Dracula.
1057
00:49:03,206 --> 00:49:04,207
(CHUCKLES)
1058
00:49:04,374 --> 00:49:06,911
Jane Austen, feel free to use
it in one of your books.
1059
00:49:06,977 --> 00:49:10,322
Oh, Pirate Captain,
you are a born raconteur.
1060
00:49:10,614 --> 00:49:14,061
So much better than the last
chap we all went doolally over.
1061
00:49:14,217 --> 00:49:17,687
You've all been
(SLURPING) terribly kind.
1062
00:49:17,754 --> 00:49:18,858
Oh!
1063
00:49:19,022 --> 00:49:20,126
Oh, do run along.
1064
00:49:20,190 --> 00:49:21,828
Another drink, Captain?
1065
00:49:21,892 --> 00:49:24,668
Hmm? Cheers, Chuck.
1066
00:49:24,728 --> 00:49:25,763
Huh?
1067
00:49:25,896 --> 00:49:27,898
I say, you're not
1068
00:49:28,231 --> 00:49:29,972
related in
some way, are you?
1069
00:49:30,033 --> 00:49:31,137
Pardon?
1070
00:49:31,468 --> 00:49:32,538
It's just you,
sort of...
1071
00:49:33,236 --> 00:49:35,443
Well, no, no,
nothing, nothing, nothing.
1072
00:49:35,505 --> 00:49:37,212
Cheers.
1073
00:49:45,849 --> 00:49:47,988
Do you know what
I've discovered, Charles?
1074
00:49:48,085 --> 00:49:50,759
The friends you make
after you've become famous
1075
00:49:50,821 --> 00:49:52,801
are better, truer friends
1076
00:49:52,856 --> 00:49:54,927
than the ones you've had
for years beforehand.
1077
00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:56,994
So very wise.
1078
00:49:59,062 --> 00:50:00,735
But the lads
will think I'm a fool.
1079
00:50:00,797 --> 00:50:03,573
No. A fool, you? Oh.
1080
00:50:03,633 --> 00:50:05,738
You're an
intellectual giant.
1081
00:50:05,802 --> 00:50:08,442
Just look at how you
managed to keep Polly safe
1082
00:50:08,505 --> 00:50:10,212
from those sinister forces.
1083
00:50:10,307 --> 00:50:11,843
Yes, I did do that,
didn't I?
1084
00:50:11,908 --> 00:50:13,512
You did.
1085
00:50:13,610 --> 00:50:15,851
And wherever she's hidden,
1086
00:50:15,912 --> 00:50:18,358
I bet it's somewhere
really ingenious.
1087
00:50:18,415 --> 00:50:19,416
It is rather.
1088
00:50:19,483 --> 00:50:20,985
(CHUCKLES)
1089
00:50:21,318 --> 00:50:22,763
You'll never guess where.
1090
00:50:22,819 --> 00:50:25,857
Well, no, why, you're too
smart for me, Captain.
1091
00:50:25,922 --> 00:50:28,027
Right under
everyone's noses.
1092
00:50:28,091 --> 00:50:30,571
Or right under
my noses, anyhow.
1093
00:50:33,263 --> 00:50:34,765
Ta-d a!
(SQUAW KS)
1094
00:50:35,332 --> 00:50:36,333
(GAS PS)
1095
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:37,401
(SIGHS)
1096
00:50:37,567 --> 00:50:40,912
You've been keeping Polly
in your beard?
1097
00:50:41,071 --> 00:50:43,073
Actually,
I keep all sorts in here.
1098
00:50:43,140 --> 00:50:44,141
(CLOCK TICKING)
1099
00:50:45,776 --> 00:50:46,948
I'm sorry
about this, Captain.
1100
00:50:47,010 --> 00:50:48,421
About what?
1101
00:50:48,945 --> 00:50:49,946
Oh.
1102
00:50:50,914 --> 00:50:54,054
What the... What's the monkey-man
playing at? (CHUCKLES)
1103
00:50:54,117 --> 00:50:56,097
This patently isn't
even a real... (SCREAMS)
1104
00:50:56,153 --> 00:50:57,154
(GAS PS)
1105
00:51:03,427 --> 00:51:04,428
(GAS PS)
1106
00:51:05,695 --> 00:51:07,675
Come back here, you lubbers!
1107
00:51:07,731 --> 00:51:09,267
(BICYCLE BELL DINGS)
1108
00:51:11,968 --> 00:51:13,413
(SCREAMS)
1109
00:51:13,570 --> 00:51:15,277
Sorry, Your Reverence.
1110
00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:19,148
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
1111
00:51:19,209 --> 00:51:21,086
(CHICKENS SQUAWKING)
(PIG SNORTING)
1112
00:51:21,144 --> 00:51:22,589
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
1113
00:51:22,646 --> 00:51:23,852
(GAS PS)
1114
00:51:28,051 --> 00:51:29,655
(GRUNTING)
1115
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:30,857
Aha!
1116
00:51:31,154 --> 00:51:32,963
Got you, you rogue!
1117
00:51:35,559 --> 00:51:39,473
(RUMBLING)
(MUZAK PLAYING)
1118
00:51:39,863 --> 00:51:41,536
Yeah, that's rather nice.
1119
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:45,604
Neptune's lips,
what are you up to?
1120
00:51:45,769 --> 00:51:47,146
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's not my fault.
1121
00:51:47,204 --> 00:51:48,808
What do you mean
"not your fault"?
1122
00:51:48,872 --> 00:51:51,182
You steal Polly, you shoot
my best hat full of holes.
1123
00:51:51,241 --> 00:51:52,845
(CLANKING)
(GASPS)
1124
00:51:52,909 --> 00:51:53,944
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
1125
00:51:55,078 --> 00:51:57,024
Hmm?
1126
00:52:10,060 --> 00:52:11,164
Well, go on, then.
1127
00:52:11,595 --> 00:52:12,938
Explain yourself.
1128
00:52:14,431 --> 00:52:16,001
There's this girl.
1129
00:52:16,066 --> 00:52:18,376
I'm hopelessly
smitten with her.
1130
00:52:18,435 --> 00:52:20,108
I'm listening.
1131
00:52:20,170 --> 00:52:24,050
I know how partial
she is to exotic animals,
1132
00:52:24,107 --> 00:52:26,883
and I thought if I could
get her the dodo,
1133
00:52:26,943 --> 00:52:30,413
then she might like me.
1134
00:52:32,382 --> 00:52:33,452
Oh, I'm so ashamed.
1135
00:52:33,517 --> 00:52:34,518
(SOBBING)
1136
00:52:34,651 --> 00:52:36,528
Why didn't you say so?
1137
00:52:37,053 --> 00:52:39,659
We've all done stupid things
to impress girls.
1138
00:52:39,723 --> 00:52:41,259
Yeah, you should act aloof.
1139
00:52:41,324 --> 00:52:43,736
They love it
when you act aloof.
1140
00:52:43,793 --> 00:52:45,966
Still, must be quite a girl for
you to go to all that trouble.
1141
00:52:46,029 --> 00:52:48,703
QUEEN VICTORIA:
She is quite a girl.
1142
00:52:49,199 --> 00:52:50,644
(KEYPAD BUZZES)
1143
00:52:50,700 --> 00:52:52,680
Kraken's biscuits!
1144
00:52:52,736 --> 00:52:54,409
Mr. Darwin.
1145
00:52:57,207 --> 00:52:58,277
Honestly, Charles.
1146
00:52:58,542 --> 00:53:02,012
It's the bun. The bun
really does it for me.
1147
00:53:02,078 --> 00:53:03,648
QUEEN VICTORIA: And I see
you've brought a friend.
1148
00:53:03,980 --> 00:53:05,050
How delightful.
1149
00:53:05,115 --> 00:53:07,254
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to...
1150
00:53:07,317 --> 00:53:10,491
Oh, get a grip, man. You couldn't
manage one tiny task, could you?
1151
00:53:10,554 --> 00:53:12,556
It's pathetic.
1152
00:53:13,256 --> 00:53:14,735
(BOTH GASP)
1153
00:53:14,791 --> 00:53:16,270
(KEYPAD BUZZES)
1154
00:53:18,228 --> 00:53:20,469
(KEYPAD BUZZING)
1155
00:53:25,702 --> 00:53:27,204
(SCREAMS)
1156
00:53:27,637 --> 00:53:29,207
(GRUNTING)
1157
00:53:29,272 --> 00:53:30,842
(CAT SHRIEKS)
1158
00:53:30,907 --> 00:53:32,443
Oh.
1159
00:53:34,978 --> 00:53:36,184
(GAS PS)
1160
00:53:40,450 --> 00:53:44,728
Listen, Captain, I can see I've
gone about this all wrong.
1161
00:53:46,723 --> 00:53:50,261
You see, I might have the body
of a weak and feeble woman,
1162
00:53:50,327 --> 00:53:52,807
(KEYPAD BUZZING)
(HISSING)
1163
00:53:52,996 --> 00:53:55,169
but I have the heart
and soul of a person
1164
00:53:55,232 --> 00:53:57,712
who really,
really wants that dodo.
1165
00:54:18,121 --> 00:54:21,295
I seem to recall
that you piratical types
1166
00:54:21,358 --> 00:54:24,498
have a bit of a soft spot
for shiny things.
1167
00:54:24,661 --> 00:54:27,608
Or am I getting you
muddled up with magpies?
1168
00:54:27,664 --> 00:54:29,803
(STUTTERING) I couldn't.
1169
00:54:29,866 --> 00:54:32,642
I mean,
Polly, she's a family...
1170
00:54:32,802 --> 00:54:35,373
Come now, Captain,
it's so simple.
1171
00:54:35,872 --> 00:54:38,250
Polly here could live like
a queen at my petting zoo,
1172
00:54:38,308 --> 00:54:41,949
and you...Well...
1173
00:54:42,779 --> 00:54:45,282
With treasure like this,
1174
00:54:45,682 --> 00:54:50,062
you could be famed
across the seven seas.
1175
00:54:54,524 --> 00:54:55,662
NUMBER TWO: Captain.
1176
00:54:55,725 --> 00:54:57,898
Polly's not for sale.
1177
00:54:57,961 --> 00:54:59,907
(BELLAMY LAUGHING)
1178
00:55:00,063 --> 00:55:02,202
You? Win Pirate of the Year?
1179
00:55:02,265 --> 00:55:03,744
You're a shoo-in, sir.
1180
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,838
There's not a pirate on the
seven seas can match you.
1181
00:55:06,903 --> 00:55:08,905
But what about winning
Pirate of the Year
1182
00:55:08,972 --> 00:55:11,953
and showing all those other
captains that you're not a loser?
1183
00:55:12,008 --> 00:55:14,488
(ECHOING) Loser... Loser...
1184
00:55:14,544 --> 00:55:15,545
(LAUGHS)
1185
00:55:15,612 --> 00:55:16,647
Whee!
1186
00:55:16,780 --> 00:55:19,556
I'm a floating head.
1187
00:55:20,450 --> 00:55:21,986
So, Captain.
1188
00:55:22,619 --> 00:55:25,896
Are you going
to do the right thing?
1189
00:55:30,293 --> 00:55:34,435
J' I'm sailing out
on the ocean
1190
00:55:34,497 --> 00:55:37,569
J' Out on the deep blue sea J'
1191
00:55:37,634 --> 00:55:40,274
20 minutes, he said.
1192
00:55:40,337 --> 00:55:41,941
Didn't he say 20 minutes?
1193
00:55:42,072 --> 00:55:43,346
Don't worry, lads.
1194
00:55:43,406 --> 00:55:44,908
He probably
just got caught up,
1195
00:55:45,008 --> 00:55:47,010
(EXHALING) you know,
1196
00:55:47,177 --> 00:55:49,714
battling a giant squid
or something.
1197
00:55:50,980 --> 00:55:52,982
(PIRATES SIGH)
1198
00:55:55,852 --> 00:55:57,957
(GASPS)
(RUMBLING AND RATTLING)
1199
00:55:58,888 --> 00:56:00,333
PIRATE CAPTAIN:
Well, come on, you lubbers!
1200
00:56:00,390 --> 00:56:01,562
(LAUGHS) It's him!
1201
00:56:01,624 --> 00:56:02,796
I told you!
1202
00:56:02,859 --> 00:56:05,169
I... I told you
he wouldn't let us down.
1203
00:56:05,228 --> 00:56:06,866
PIRATE CAPTAIN: Hello, boys.
(GASPS)
1204
00:56:07,497 --> 00:56:08,999
Miss me?
1205
00:56:09,132 --> 00:56:11,203
I'm having a mirage.
1206
00:56:11,267 --> 00:56:13,804
But... How?
1207
00:56:13,870 --> 00:56:15,008
Good question, Number Two.
1208
00:56:15,071 --> 00:56:18,484
I stole it all in a daring
raid on the Tower of London.
1209
00:56:18,675 --> 00:56:23,590
You stole all this
from the Tower of London?
1210
00:56:23,646 --> 00:56:24,681
That's right.
1211
00:56:24,748 --> 00:56:26,887
Then I burnt it to the
ground, wrestled a bear,
1212
00:56:27,083 --> 00:56:29,120
oh, and I kissed a princess
for good measure.
1213
00:56:30,019 --> 00:56:31,123
Well, what are
you waiting for?
1214
00:56:31,187 --> 00:56:32,928
Don't just stand there
like porpoises.
1215
00:56:32,989 --> 00:56:34,127
There's atrophy
with our names on it!
1216
00:56:34,190 --> 00:56:35,533
(CHEERING)
1217
00:56:37,260 --> 00:56:39,561
Set a course
for Blood Island!
1218
00:56:39,562 --> 00:56:41,803
(FIREWORKS WHISTLING
AND POPPING)
1219
00:56:44,501 --> 00:56:46,447
ANNOUNCER ON MIC:
Avast, me hearties!
1220
00:56:46,603 --> 00:56:51,677
And welcome to the 59th Annual
Pirate of the Year Awards!
1221
00:56:51,741 --> 00:56:54,085
(CHEERING)
(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)
1222
00:56:58,047 --> 00:56:59,822
(GUNFIRE)
1223
00:57:08,658 --> 00:57:10,194
(CHUCKLES)
1224
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:12,101
This is the ticket,
eh, Number Two?
1225
00:57:12,162 --> 00:57:14,199
Oh, please, please, please,
can't Polly come out now?
1226
00:57:14,731 --> 00:57:17,007
(STUTTERS) Best not.
1227
00:57:17,700 --> 00:57:18,974
She's still very tired.
1228
00:57:19,035 --> 00:57:20,673
And here is your host for
the evening... Shush.
1229
00:57:20,937 --> 00:57:24,441
The Pirate King!
1230
00:57:28,745 --> 00:57:32,420
Hello, Pirates!
1231
00:57:32,482 --> 00:57:34,155
ALL: Hello, Pirate King!
1232
00:57:34,317 --> 00:57:35,796
Any lubbers in tonight?
1233
00:57:35,852 --> 00:57:37,263
ALL: No!
1234
00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:43,331
ALL: Behind you!
1235
00:57:43,426 --> 00:57:45,963
MAN: (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Oh, I'm Queen Victoria!
1236
00:57:46,029 --> 00:57:47,235
(PIRATES BOOING)
And I hate pirates!
1237
00:57:47,297 --> 00:57:48,708
Ooh!
(PIRATES CHEERING)
1238
00:57:51,134 --> 00:57:52,511
Oh, come on, cheer up.
1239
00:57:52,569 --> 00:57:54,446
PIRATE KING:
And now, you swabs,
1240
00:57:54,504 --> 00:57:56,484
this is the big one.
1241
00:57:56,539 --> 00:57:57,677
(PIRATES EXCLAIMING IN AWE)
1242
00:57:57,874 --> 00:58:02,482
The nominees for Pirate of
the Year are as follows:
1243
00:58:02,545 --> 00:58:03,751
Black Bellamy.
1244
00:58:03,813 --> 00:58:05,190
(APPLAUSE)
1245
00:58:05,415 --> 00:58:07,417
Cutlass Liz.
1246
00:58:07,550 --> 00:58:09,791
Peg-Leg Hastings.
1247
00:58:09,953 --> 00:58:13,366
And a surprise late entry,
1248
00:58:13,523 --> 00:58:15,230
the Pirate Captain!
1249
00:58:15,291 --> 00:58:16,565
(PIRATES CHEERING)
1250
00:58:16,759 --> 00:58:20,935
The panel of
independent judges
1251
00:58:21,064 --> 00:58:24,136
have counted each pirate's
booty and declared
1252
00:58:24,934 --> 00:58:27,881
that this year's winner is
1253
00:58:29,239 --> 00:58:32,118
the Pirate Captain!
1254
00:58:32,175 --> 00:58:33,245
(CHEERING)
1255
00:58:33,309 --> 00:58:34,379
Oh. Oh.
1256
00:58:34,444 --> 00:58:35,855
(GRUNTS)
1257
00:58:49,459 --> 00:58:51,769
(SERENE INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
1258
00:58:59,569 --> 00:59:01,742
(MAJESTIC INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
1259
00:59:20,156 --> 00:59:21,157
BELLAMY: Excuse me!
1260
00:59:21,224 --> 00:59:22,396
(RECORD SCRATCHES)
(MUSIC STOPS)
1261
00:59:23,326 --> 00:59:25,670
Excuse me.
1262
00:59:25,828 --> 00:59:27,933
Listen,
this is all very moving.
1263
00:59:27,997 --> 00:59:30,034
I'm welling up here, but...
1264
00:59:30,199 --> 00:59:32,805
Bellamy, this is
most irregular!
1265
00:59:33,369 --> 00:59:34,814
So is this!
1266
00:59:36,339 --> 00:59:38,148
ALL: (GENTLY) Aw!
1267
00:59:40,176 --> 00:59:42,019
(GROANS)
1268
00:59:42,078 --> 00:59:43,648
(ALL GASPING)
1269
00:59:43,713 --> 00:59:48,787
It seems Queen Victoria has
pardoned the Pirate Captain.
1270
00:59:49,252 --> 00:59:50,754
(ALL MURMURING)
No!
1271
00:59:52,488 --> 00:59:53,523
So what if she did?
1272
00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:55,228
BELLAMY:
If you've been pardoned
1273
00:59:55,391 --> 00:59:58,099
then, technically,
you're no longer a pirate.
1274
00:59:58,628 --> 01:00:00,665
And if you're
no longer a pirate,
1275
01:00:01,030 --> 01:00:04,102
you really can't be
Pirate of the Year,
1276
01:00:04,567 --> 01:00:06,069
now, can you?
1277
01:00:06,135 --> 01:00:08,706
No, you can't!
That's right!
1278
01:00:08,871 --> 01:00:10,316
Is this true?
1279
01:00:10,740 --> 01:00:14,051
(STUTTERING) Well, that's one, frankly,
rather negative way of looking at it.
1280
01:00:14,110 --> 01:00:15,111
(SHUDDERS)
1281
01:00:15,345 --> 01:00:18,292
Villainous treachery!
1282
01:00:18,348 --> 01:00:21,227
Treacherous villainy!
1283
01:00:21,284 --> 01:00:24,265
You have betrayed
the pirating fraternity.
1284
01:00:24,387 --> 01:00:25,991
But, Pirate King...
1285
01:00:26,189 --> 01:00:28,601
Your pirate hat and coat!
1286
01:00:37,133 --> 01:00:39,135
(RATTLING AND CLINKING)
1287
01:00:43,272 --> 01:00:46,583
Your pirate badge
with googly eyes.
1288
01:00:46,643 --> 01:00:50,887
And your World of Hooks
discount card.
1289
01:00:51,114 --> 01:00:52,491
(SNAPS FINGERS)
Confiscate his treasure!
1290
01:00:52,548 --> 01:00:53,549
(GAS PS)
1291
01:00:53,616 --> 01:00:55,357
Every last bit of it.
1292
01:00:55,551 --> 01:00:59,226
Begone! May your lubber
shame bear down upon you.
1293
01:00:59,389 --> 01:01:02,563
You are hereby banished
from Blood Island!
1294
01:01:02,625 --> 01:01:03,729
(CHUCKLES)
1295
01:01:04,293 --> 01:01:08,196
You are a pirate no more!
1296
01:01:08,197 --> 01:01:10,074
(THUNDER CRASHES)
1297
01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:16,813
(PIRATES GASPING)
1298
01:01:16,873 --> 01:01:18,375
(SCREAMS)
1299
01:01:18,574 --> 01:01:19,917
And stay out!
1300
01:01:23,613 --> 01:01:27,186
Yes, well, not a...
Not a total success.
1301
01:01:27,250 --> 01:01:29,924
We don't need them
and their stupid awards.
1302
01:01:29,986 --> 01:01:33,058
The best thing about being
a pirate isn't the treasure.
1303
01:01:33,122 --> 01:01:35,033
It's the cutlasses.
It's Ham Night.
1304
01:01:35,091 --> 01:01:36,798
It's Polly.
1305
01:01:36,859 --> 01:01:38,930
Where is Polly, Captain?
1306
01:01:38,995 --> 01:01:41,601
(CHUCKLES) What do you mean?
You know where she is.
1307
01:01:41,664 --> 01:01:43,200
She's been upset enough.
1308
01:01:43,266 --> 01:01:45,075
(SIGHS) Captain...
1309
01:01:47,103 --> 01:01:48,673
Oh... (GRUNTS)
1310
01:01:48,838 --> 01:01:50,442
Okay, Okay.
1311
01:01:53,976 --> 01:01:55,819
(PIRATES GASP)
1312
01:01:55,878 --> 01:01:57,585
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
1313
01:01:57,980 --> 01:02:01,553
I sold her to Queen Victoria
for a boatload of treasure.
1314
01:02:01,617 --> 01:02:03,961
There, I've said it.
1315
01:02:04,020 --> 01:02:06,398
(AIR HISSING)
1316
01:02:12,128 --> 01:02:14,631
Oh, well, come on.
She was just a parrot.
1317
01:02:14,697 --> 01:02:16,438
I mean,
she wasn't even a parrot.
1318
01:02:16,499 --> 01:02:18,809
Always weeing on the boat's
carpets, biting everyone.
1319
01:02:18,868 --> 01:02:21,576
She gave half of us tetanus,
for goodness sake.
1320
01:02:21,938 --> 01:02:24,316
But she was our Polly.
1321
01:02:24,373 --> 01:02:26,649
(STUTTERING) Well, you know,
you should be happy for her.
1322
01:02:26,709 --> 01:02:29,087
She'll be, she'll be
living the high life.
1323
01:02:29,946 --> 01:02:33,894
Eating gold bricks wrapped
up in, you know, swans.
1324
01:02:33,950 --> 01:02:35,623
(WHIMPERS QUIETLY)
1325
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:40,130
Well, where are
you swabs going? Come on.
1326
01:02:40,990 --> 01:02:44,301
Well, we'll have an adventure somewhere
tropical with those native ladies
1327
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:47,273
whose outfits don't leave
much to the imagination.
1328
01:02:47,330 --> 01:02:49,139
(CHUCKLES)
1329
01:02:49,332 --> 01:02:51,972
Looks like it's just you and
me now, eh, Number Two?
1330
01:02:52,034 --> 01:02:53,445
(CHUCKLES)
1331
01:02:53,636 --> 01:02:55,616
Good old inseparable
you and me.
1332
01:02:55,671 --> 01:02:57,241
Us two
against the world, eh?
1333
01:02:57,306 --> 01:02:58,307
Yeah?
1334
01:02:58,374 --> 01:03:00,945
Like serrano ham and,
1335
01:03:01,010 --> 01:03:03,650
you know,
that other kind of ham.
1336
01:03:04,781 --> 01:03:06,158
Arrr.
1337
01:03:07,483 --> 01:03:11,829
You can't always just say
"arrr" at the end of a sentence
1338
01:03:11,888 --> 01:03:14,994
and think that makes
everything all right.
1339
01:03:17,627 --> 01:03:19,629
(DISTANT THUNDER RUMBLING)
1340
01:03:22,331 --> 01:03:23,969
(SIGHS SOFTLY)
1341
01:03:26,169 --> 01:03:28,513
Fine.
Fine, go on, then. Go.
1342
01:03:29,005 --> 01:03:30,382
Go!
1343
01:03:31,707 --> 01:03:34,187
It's not like I need
any of you, anyway.
1344
01:03:35,444 --> 01:03:36,855
See if I care.
1345
01:03:36,913 --> 01:03:39,393
J' I'm not crying
1346
01:03:39,448 --> 01:03:42,054
J' It's just been raining...
1347
01:03:42,185 --> 01:03:43,789
See if I care.
1348
01:03:44,921 --> 01:03:47,162
J' On my face
1349
01:03:49,025 --> 01:03:52,871
J' And if you think you see
some tear tracks down my cheeks
1350
01:03:52,929 --> 01:03:56,741
J' Please, please
1351
01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:59,673
J' Don't tell my mates
1352
01:04:01,737 --> 01:04:04,013
J' I'm not crying
1353
01:04:07,443 --> 01:04:09,889
J' No, I'm not crying
1354
01:04:14,283 --> 01:04:16,388
J' And if I am crying
1355
01:04:16,452 --> 01:04:18,398
J' It's not 'cause of you
1356
01:04:18,454 --> 01:04:21,401
J' It's because I'm thinking
about a friend of mine
1357
01:04:21,457 --> 01:04:25,928
J' You don't know who is
dying, that's right, dying
1358
01:04:25,995 --> 01:04:30,239
J' These aren't tears of sadness
because you're leaving me
1359
01:04:30,299 --> 01:04:32,973
J' I've just been
cutting onions
1360
01:04:33,035 --> 01:04:37,245
J' I'm making a lasagna
1361
01:04:37,306 --> 01:04:39,252
J' For one
1362
01:04:40,142 --> 01:04:43,316
J' Oh, I'm not crying
1363
01:04:43,379 --> 01:04:45,086
♪No
1364
01:04:45,147 --> 01:04:47,991
J' I'm not upset because
you left me this way
1365
01:04:48,050 --> 01:04:50,553
♪ My eyes are just
a little sweaty today
1366
01:04:50,620 --> 01:04:53,760
J' They've been looking around
and are searching for you
1367
01:04:53,823 --> 01:04:55,496
J' They've been
looking for you
1368
01:04:55,558 --> 01:04:57,629
J' Even though
I told them not to
1369
01:04:57,693 --> 01:05:01,607
J' These aren't tears of
sadness, they're tears of joy
1370
01:05:01,664 --> 01:05:03,871
J' I'm just laughing
1371
01:05:03,933 --> 01:05:08,211
J' Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
1372
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:16,456
J' I'm not crying
1373
01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:21,428
J' I'm not crying
1374
01:05:21,484 --> 01:05:26,661
: Crying T
1375
01:05:27,590 --> 01:05:28,694
Huh?
1376
01:05:28,891 --> 01:05:30,063
DARWIN: You're too late.
1377
01:05:31,894 --> 01:05:33,100
She's gone.
1378
01:05:33,162 --> 01:05:34,300
Charles?
1379
01:05:34,463 --> 01:05:35,635
Is that you?
1380
01:05:35,698 --> 01:05:37,143
What are you doing here?
1381
01:05:37,199 --> 01:05:40,043
We're tramps now. It's not
unlike being a scientist, but...
1382
01:05:40,102 --> 01:05:41,274
(YAWNS)
1383
01:05:41,470 --> 01:05:44,280
...with less experiments and
more drinking your own sweat.
1384
01:05:44,473 --> 01:05:47,511
But where's Polly?
Why isn't she in her cage?
1385
01:05:47,710 --> 01:05:50,418
Oh, it's too horrible.
1386
01:05:51,180 --> 01:05:52,989
"Banquet for world leaders"?
1387
01:05:53,149 --> 01:05:54,560
I've been a fool for love.
1388
01:05:54,617 --> 01:05:57,154
Victoria never wanted
Polly for her petting zoo.
1389
01:05:57,253 --> 01:06:00,496
"Terrine of Tiger,
Black Rhino Ragout,
1390
01:06:00,656 --> 01:06:02,693
"Panda Face Fritters"?
1391
01:06:02,758 --> 01:06:05,967
I've discovered the Queen is a
member of a terrible secret
1392
01:06:06,028 --> 01:06:07,735
dining society.
1393
01:06:07,797 --> 01:06:10,505
Kings, queens, emperors
from around the world,
1394
01:06:10,566 --> 01:06:13,308
they meet on her flagship,
the QV1,
1395
01:06:13,469 --> 01:06:18,942
to eat the rarest and most
endangered creatures they can find.
1396
01:06:19,008 --> 01:06:21,215
This year,
the highlight is...
1397
01:06:22,845 --> 01:06:24,847
PIRATE CAPTAIN:
"Dodo a l'Orange"?
1398
01:06:25,848 --> 01:06:27,327
She's going to eat Polly?
1399
01:06:27,383 --> 01:06:28,657
It's all my fault.
1400
01:06:28,718 --> 01:06:30,789
I'm an awful human being.
I'll never get a girlfriend.
1401
01:06:30,853 --> 01:06:32,730
(GRUNTING)
1402
01:06:32,855 --> 01:06:34,630
Now pull yourself together, man.
Ow!
1403
01:06:34,690 --> 01:06:37,296
Now listen, Charles, we've all
done something unforgivable.
1404
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:38,964
I've betrayed
my pirate honor,
1405
01:06:39,028 --> 01:06:41,941
you've betrayed science, and Mr. Bobo's
betrayed the animal kingdom.
1406
01:06:43,099 --> 01:06:44,635
We've got to rescue her.
Us?
1407
01:06:44,700 --> 01:06:47,909
Against the crowned heads of the
world on an impregnable warship?
1408
01:06:48,070 --> 01:06:49,378
It's impossible odds!
1409
01:06:49,438 --> 01:06:51,543
It's only impossible if you
stop to think about it.
1410
01:06:51,607 --> 01:06:53,052
Come on,
we didn't evolve from slugs
1411
01:06:53,242 --> 01:06:55,586
just to sit here drinking
our own sweat, now, did we?
1412
01:06:55,644 --> 01:06:56,748
Are you with us, Mr. Bobo?
1413
01:06:58,547 --> 01:07:00,652
"Are you out
of your..."
1414
01:07:01,717 --> 01:07:02,718
Oh, I say.
1415
01:07:03,152 --> 01:07:04,153
Well, pah!
1416
01:07:04,220 --> 01:07:05,665
We can do without
the monkey-man.
1417
01:07:05,721 --> 01:07:07,428
Sorry, what was that
about slugs?
1418
01:07:07,490 --> 01:07:10,525
No time for that now
Come on.
1419
01:07:10,526 --> 01:07:12,597
J' Ready, said are you
ready to go?
1420
01:07:12,661 --> 01:07:14,140
J' Said are you ready?
1421
01:07:14,263 --> 01:07:16,209
Prepare to be
boarded, nerds.
1422
01:07:16,265 --> 01:07:18,506
J' Full Stop, me,
stop, Full Stop
1423
01:07:18,567 --> 01:07:19,568
J' Ranking Full Stop
1424
01:07:19,635 --> 01:07:22,377
J' That is my name and I
would really, really say
1425
01:07:22,438 --> 01:07:24,543
J' Full Stop,
Ranking Full Stop
1426
01:07:24,607 --> 01:07:26,917
J' Ranking Full Stop...
1427
01:07:27,777 --> 01:07:30,417
It's true! You can
see down ladies' tops.
1428
01:07:30,513 --> 01:07:32,618
Keep pedaling, Charles.
1429
01:07:32,681 --> 01:07:35,719
J' Said are you ready to stop?
I said stop
1430
01:07:36,285 --> 01:07:37,457
Help!
1431
01:07:37,520 --> 01:07:39,761
J' Ready, said are you
ready to go?
1432
01:07:39,822 --> 01:07:41,392
J' Said are you ready?
1433
01:07:41,457 --> 01:07:43,403
J' Said are you ready to go?
1434
01:07:43,459 --> 01:07:46,167
J' Full Stop, me,
stop, Full Stop
1435
01:07:46,228 --> 01:07:47,229
J' Ranking Full Stop
1436
01:07:47,296 --> 01:07:49,105
J' As I would tell you 'bout
this song, now come on...
1437
01:07:49,165 --> 01:07:50,473
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
1438
01:07:50,533 --> 01:07:52,535
(PANTING AND GROANING)
1439
01:07:52,601 --> 01:07:55,207
(SIGHING AND GASPING)
1440
01:07:58,441 --> 01:08:00,648
(SHIVERING)
1441
01:08:02,278 --> 01:08:03,621
Oh!
(SCREAMS)
1442
01:08:03,679 --> 01:08:05,386
J' Said are you ready?
1443
01:08:05,448 --> 01:08:07,587
J' Said are you ready to stop?
I said stop
1444
01:08:08,584 --> 01:08:09,585
J' I'm dead J'
1445
01:08:09,652 --> 01:08:10,653
(PANTING)
1446
01:08:10,853 --> 01:08:13,197
Neptune's nostrils.
Not a thing.
1447
01:08:17,259 --> 01:08:19,671
Where the devil can she be?
1448
01:08:19,728 --> 01:08:21,674
Uh, Captain?
1449
01:08:22,098 --> 01:08:24,044
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1450
01:08:27,136 --> 01:08:28,774
Pedal faster, Chuck!
1451
01:08:28,838 --> 01:08:30,181
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1452
01:08:35,811 --> 01:08:38,724
DARWIN: But how on earth
do we get on board?
1453
01:08:39,982 --> 01:08:41,427
This might sting a bit.
1454
01:08:41,484 --> 01:08:42,485
(STUTTERS)
I really don't...
1455
01:08:42,551 --> 01:08:43,552
(SCREAMS)
1456
01:08:43,619 --> 01:08:44,791
Catch hold of something!
1457
01:08:44,854 --> 01:08:46,128
(CLANK)
Good man.
1458
01:08:46,188 --> 01:08:47,189
(GAS PS)
1459
01:08:47,890 --> 01:08:48,925
(CRASHING)
1460
01:08:50,793 --> 01:08:52,204
(BELL muss)
1461
01:08:56,532 --> 01:08:59,536
How do you like my pygmy
elephant nuggets, Your Majesty?
1462
01:08:59,602 --> 01:09:02,549
Hmm. They're good,
but not quite
1463
01:09:02,605 --> 01:09:04,710
rare enough for my tastes.
1464
01:09:04,773 --> 01:09:06,013
Not rare enough?
1465
01:09:06,208 --> 01:09:08,552
Only three have been seen
in the last 50 years.
1466
01:09:08,711 --> 01:09:10,156
As many as three?
1467
01:09:10,212 --> 01:09:12,158
(CHUCKLES) Well, well.
1468
01:09:12,214 --> 01:09:15,787
Just wait until you see what
I've got for the main course.
1469
01:09:16,185 --> 01:09:17,926
Gaston?
1470
01:09:18,120 --> 01:09:19,292
Gaston?
1471
01:09:19,955 --> 01:09:21,332
Are you there?
1472
01:09:21,390 --> 01:09:22,391
Oui, Your Majesty.
1473
01:09:22,458 --> 01:09:23,459
Gaston, I think
1474
01:09:23,526 --> 01:09:25,369
we're ready.
Neptune's teeth.
1475
01:09:26,462 --> 01:09:28,305
There's not a moment to lose.
We've got to find that kitchen.
1476
01:09:28,364 --> 01:09:30,935
But it's hopeless. Where do
we even start to... Shh, shh.
1477
01:09:31,100 --> 01:09:34,570
So that's why I reckon,
in a straight fight, a shark
1478
01:09:34,637 --> 01:09:36,548
would probably beat a Dracula.
No!
1479
01:09:36,605 --> 01:09:39,745
Course, a Frankenstein
versus a jellyfish,
1480
01:09:39,909 --> 01:09:41,650
well, that's a
different matter.
1481
01:09:41,977 --> 01:09:43,217
(GRUNTS)
1482
01:09:44,313 --> 01:09:45,314
All clear, Chuck.
1483
01:09:45,381 --> 01:09:47,088
(SHIP HORN BLASTS)
(GASPS)
1484
01:09:47,283 --> 01:09:48,284
Chuck?
1485
01:09:48,350 --> 01:09:49,488
(SCREAMS)
1486
01:09:49,919 --> 01:09:52,195
It's all right,
Charles, I'm coming!
1487
01:09:52,254 --> 01:09:53,961
(SPLASHING)
Don't worry, I'll just...
1488
01:09:54,023 --> 01:09:56,469
Charles?
(DARWIN SCREAMS)
1489
01:09:56,525 --> 01:09:57,936
Just... Just hang on!
1490
01:09:57,993 --> 01:09:59,370
(CLANKING)
(DARWIN GRUNTING)
1491
01:09:59,428 --> 01:10:01,271
Ow! (GROANS)
1492
01:10:01,330 --> 01:10:02,900
Charles?
1493
01:10:03,866 --> 01:10:05,641
(CHICKENS SQUAWKING)
1494
01:10:06,468 --> 01:10:07,640
Poseidon's lips!
1495
01:10:07,703 --> 01:10:09,808
Are you all right, Charles?
1496
01:10:10,239 --> 01:10:11,479
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
1497
01:10:11,674 --> 01:10:13,415
GUARD: Hey, you there!
1498
01:10:13,609 --> 01:10:14,849
What are you doing here?
1499
01:10:14,910 --> 01:10:17,117
Ah! Well, now.
Excellent question.
1500
01:10:17,313 --> 01:10:20,294
All exotic animals should have
been delivered to the chef by now.
1501
01:10:20,549 --> 01:10:21,721
What?
What is it?
1502
01:10:21,784 --> 01:10:22,888
Some sort of duck?
1503
01:10:23,185 --> 01:10:26,325
Oh. Yes, yes.
That's it, yes.
1504
01:10:26,488 --> 01:10:27,489
(GRUNTS)
1505
01:10:27,623 --> 01:10:29,034
(MUFFLED) Quack, quack.
1506
01:10:29,225 --> 01:10:30,465
Hurry up, then.
Kitchen's that way.
1507
01:10:30,626 --> 01:10:31,730
Yeah, come away! Go on.
1508
01:10:31,794 --> 01:10:33,398
DARWIN: (MUFFLED)
Quack, quack.
1509
01:10:34,363 --> 01:10:37,503
Here we go, my Pretty-
1510
01:10:38,033 --> 01:10:40,536
It's time to be...
1511
01:10:42,204 --> 01:10:44,309
...délicieux!
(SQUAWKS)
1512
01:10:44,873 --> 01:10:46,284
Mmm.
1513
01:10:46,842 --> 01:10:48,788
(GASPS) Mon dieu!
1514
01:10:49,912 --> 01:10:50,913
(THUD)
1515
01:10:54,984 --> 01:10:56,657
Polly, come to Daddy.
1516
01:10:56,719 --> 01:11:00,223
Oh, I'm sorry, old girl.
1517
01:11:00,289 --> 01:11:03,099
I will never, ever leave you again.
I promise.
1518
01:11:03,325 --> 01:11:04,633
(GRUNTING)
I will never leave you.
1519
01:11:04,693 --> 01:11:06,138
(SIGHING)
1520
01:11:07,463 --> 01:11:08,771
Perhaps we'd best
make a move.
1521
01:11:08,831 --> 01:11:09,969
Hmm?
1522
01:11:10,165 --> 01:11:12,543
Yes, yes, yes, of course.
Back to the balloon.
1523
01:11:12,601 --> 01:11:13,602
QUEEN VICTORIA: Gaston?
1524
01:11:13,802 --> 01:11:14,837
Gaston?
1525
01:11:14,903 --> 01:11:15,904
(BLOWING AIR THROUGH PIPE)
1526
01:11:15,971 --> 01:11:17,314
Hello ?
1527
01:11:18,674 --> 01:11:20,119
Captain. No.
(CLEARS THROAT)
1528
01:11:20,175 --> 01:11:22,621
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
Hello, Your Majesty.
1529
01:11:22,678 --> 01:11:25,989
The dodo is coming
tout de suite.
1530
01:11:26,081 --> 01:11:27,492
This really isn't wise. Oh.
1531
01:11:27,616 --> 01:11:29,061
Claudette est
dans Ia bibliotheque.
1532
01:11:29,118 --> 01:11:30,153
DARWIN:
Please, I think we...
1533
01:11:30,219 --> 01:11:33,325
But you know, Your Majesty,
you cannot hurry the cooking.
1534
01:11:33,389 --> 01:11:34,766
Is a very
delicate recipe, uh?
1535
01:11:34,823 --> 01:11:35,961
(DARWIN GRUNTING)
1536
01:11:36,158 --> 01:11:39,537
And the dodo is
a very fattening dish.
1537
01:11:39,595 --> 01:11:41,006
Perhaps is not
so good for you.
1538
01:11:41,063 --> 01:11:42,133
(BELL DINGS) And, you
know, the calories,
1539
01:11:42,197 --> 01:11:43,870
they will go straight
to your chubby thighs.
1540
01:11:43,932 --> 01:11:45,673
Captain.
A minute on the lips
1541
01:11:45,734 --> 01:11:46,838
is a lifetime on the...
1542
01:11:47,436 --> 01:11:48,813
Zut alors!
1543
01:11:49,004 --> 01:11:50,074
Well, well.
1544
01:11:50,139 --> 01:11:52,173
Pirate Captain.
1545
01:11:52,174 --> 01:11:52,515
1546
01:11:53,976 --> 01:11:55,751
Here you are again. And...
1547
01:11:55,811 --> 01:11:57,222
Oh. my-
1548
01:11:57,379 --> 01:11:59,416
Is that Mr. Darwin
behind those feathers?
1549
01:11:59,481 --> 01:12:01,552
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Hello.
1550
01:12:01,750 --> 01:12:04,924
What a delightfully
unexpected surprise.
1551
01:12:05,354 --> 01:12:08,801
You know,
I think, secretly...
1552
01:12:08,857 --> 01:12:10,837
(GIGGLES)
1553
01:12:11,026 --> 01:12:14,098
...I've always
loved you, Charles.
1554
01:12:14,830 --> 01:12:16,275
Gosh.
1555
01:12:16,999 --> 01:12:18,069
Really?
1556
01:12:18,801 --> 01:12:19,802
No!
1557
01:12:20,536 --> 01:12:21,640
(CLANK)
1558
01:12:24,106 --> 01:12:26,518
Give me my dodo!
1559
01:12:27,743 --> 01:12:29,552
Now, come on, Vickie,
be sensible.
1560
01:12:29,712 --> 01:12:31,692
(STUTTERING)
It's just you, a tiny queen,
1561
01:12:31,747 --> 01:12:34,694
against me, a dashing
terror of the high seas.
1562
01:12:34,750 --> 01:12:36,627
En garde!
1563
01:12:36,685 --> 01:12:37,789
Oh, dear!
1564
01:12:37,853 --> 01:12:39,833
Poor defenseless me.
1565
01:12:39,888 --> 01:12:41,026
(GRUNTS)
1566
01:12:41,223 --> 01:12:43,225
What is a girl to do?
1567
01:12:46,995 --> 01:12:48,099
Now, steady on.
1568
01:12:48,163 --> 01:12:50,109
(GRUNTING)
1569
01:12:50,399 --> 01:12:51,469
Now careful.
1570
01:12:51,667 --> 01:12:53,874
Do you know why
I really hate pirates?
1571
01:12:54,036 --> 01:12:55,037
Childhood trauma, was it?
1572
01:12:55,137 --> 01:12:57,174
Bitten by a pirate
when you were a baby?
1573
01:12:57,239 --> 01:12:58,240
(GRUNTS)
1574
01:12:58,507 --> 01:12:59,508
Beard envy?
1575
01:12:59,575 --> 01:13:01,612
It's because
you're out-of-date.
1576
01:13:01,844 --> 01:13:03,482
You're dinosaurs!
1577
01:13:03,645 --> 01:13:06,649
All that
"romance of the seas" guff!
1578
01:13:06,715 --> 01:13:08,626
Aha!
1579
01:13:08,684 --> 01:13:10,027
Oh.
(SQUAWKS)
1580
01:13:10,085 --> 01:13:11,655
(GRUNTS)
1581
01:13:17,326 --> 01:13:18,964
Right, where were we?
1582
01:13:19,027 --> 01:13:20,028
(GASPING)
1583
01:13:20,095 --> 01:13:21,267
Look at you.
1584
01:13:21,430 --> 01:13:22,909
You should be extinct.
1585
01:13:26,101 --> 01:13:27,239
(YELLS)
1586
01:13:27,436 --> 01:13:29,143
Along with your
little friend!
1587
01:13:29,204 --> 01:13:30,205
(GRUNTS)
1588
01:13:30,839 --> 01:13:31,840
(GAS PS)
1589
01:13:33,942 --> 01:13:35,285
(SCREAMS)
1590
01:13:35,344 --> 01:13:36,914
(GROWLS)
1591
01:13:39,681 --> 01:13:41,285
(YELLING)
1592
01:13:43,819 --> 01:13:45,093
Pity you can't
eat pirates, really.
1593
01:13:45,154 --> 01:13:46,155
(SCREAMS)
1594
01:13:47,589 --> 01:13:48,590
(GRUNTS)
1595
01:13:48,791 --> 01:13:52,671
But you'd probably
taste of barnacles.
1596
01:13:52,828 --> 01:13:55,365
Whereas, dear little
Polly here is going to be
1597
01:13:55,464 --> 01:13:56,772
(SQUAWKS)
1598
01:13:56,999 --> 01:14:02,073
absolutely delicious!
1599
01:14:05,641 --> 01:14:06,813
Mr. Bobo?
1600
01:14:08,677 --> 01:14:10,657
Give me back my dinner!
1601
01:14:10,712 --> 01:14:13,386
Captain, catch!
Number Two!
1602
01:14:15,350 --> 01:14:16,420
(GROWLS)
1603
01:14:17,820 --> 01:14:18,855
Sorry, Vickie.
1604
01:14:19,021 --> 01:14:21,194
Dodo is off the menu.
1605
01:14:21,256 --> 01:14:22,428
Eh? (GASPS)
1606
01:14:24,226 --> 01:14:25,398
(GASPING)
1607
01:14:28,997 --> 01:14:30,476
Oh, no, no, stop!
1608
01:14:33,435 --> 01:14:34,470
Stop!
1609
01:14:37,039 --> 01:14:38,040
(SCREAMS)
1610
01:14:38,707 --> 01:14:39,742
Stop!
1611
01:14:42,845 --> 01:14:45,724
I'm being squashed
by giant barrels of vinegar!
1612
01:14:50,786 --> 01:14:52,891
(GASPS AND GRUNTS)
1613
01:14:53,155 --> 01:14:54,225
Good work, Chuck.
1614
01:14:54,389 --> 01:14:55,663
Number Two,
what are you doing here?
1615
01:14:55,791 --> 01:14:57,737
How did you find me?
Where are the lads?
1616
01:14:57,860 --> 01:14:59,965
Don't worry,
they're on the case.
1617
01:15:00,362 --> 01:15:02,364
(PIRATES LAUGHING)
1618
01:15:05,834 --> 01:15:08,041
It's all thanks
to Mr. Bobo here.
1619
01:15:08,103 --> 01:15:09,480
He rowed halfway
across the ocean
1620
01:15:09,605 --> 01:15:10,982
to tell us
what you were up to.
1621
01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:14,312
And, you know,
I figured you
1622
01:15:14,376 --> 01:15:16,686
tend to end up wrapped in
sausages facing certain death
1623
01:15:16,778 --> 01:15:18,655
at about this point
in an adventure.
1624
01:15:18,714 --> 01:15:20,022
(CHUCKLES) Yes.
1625
01:15:20,082 --> 01:15:22,255
Yeah.
1626
01:15:22,317 --> 01:15:23,318
Yes.
1627
01:15:23,385 --> 01:15:24,420
(CLEARS THROAT)
1628
01:15:24,553 --> 01:15:27,659
Listen, uh, (STUTTERING)
Number Two, I...
1629
01:15:27,789 --> 01:15:31,566
I realize I let you down.
(DOOR OPENS)
1630
01:15:31,627 --> 01:15:33,265
(CHUCKLES)
1631
01:15:33,328 --> 01:15:34,363
(DOOR SLAMS)
1632
01:15:34,763 --> 01:15:36,140
CURVACEOUS PIRATE: Sorry.
1633
01:15:36,198 --> 01:15:37,541
I let everybody down.
1634
01:15:38,233 --> 01:15:40,509
You know, I've...
1635
01:15:40,669 --> 01:15:44,446
Well, I've done some pretty appalling
things in my piratical career. (CHUCKLES)
1636
01:15:44,506 --> 01:15:47,453
Like that time I used
babies as squid bait.
1637
01:15:47,809 --> 01:15:49,618
Or that other time
I thought it would be
1638
01:15:49,778 --> 01:15:51,917
okay to let a turtle
drive the boat.
1639
01:15:52,014 --> 01:15:53,891
But the thing is...
1640
01:15:54,082 --> 01:15:56,221
I mean, what I'm
trying to say is...
1641
01:15:56,718 --> 01:16:00,131
You decided to single-handedly
take on Queen Victoria's flagship,
1642
01:16:00,188 --> 01:16:01,690
in order to rescue Polly.
1643
01:16:02,791 --> 01:16:04,327
Yes, I'm afraid I did.
1644
01:16:06,094 --> 01:16:07,095
(GAS PS)
1645
01:16:07,162 --> 01:16:09,506
That's terrifically idiotic.
1646
01:16:09,698 --> 01:16:10,768
PIRATE CAPTAIN: Yes.
1647
01:16:10,966 --> 01:16:14,470
It's also the reason
why me and the lads,
1648
01:16:14,636 --> 01:16:17,048
well, we still think
(QUIET RUMBLING)
1649
01:16:17,272 --> 01:16:19,752
you're the best pirate
on the seven sea...
1650
01:16:19,808 --> 01:16:21,275
(BOLTS POPPING)
1651
01:16:21,276 --> 01:16:22,414
(METAL GROANING)
1652
01:16:28,317 --> 01:16:30,627
(SCREAMING)
1653
01:16:30,786 --> 01:16:32,026
Gadzooks!
1654
01:16:32,554 --> 01:16:34,261
No!
1655
01:16:34,456 --> 01:16:36,561
(GASPING AND SCREAMING)
1656
01:16:38,493 --> 01:16:40,200
(SCREAMING)
1657
01:16:43,632 --> 01:16:46,306
(SCREAMING)
1658
01:16:49,538 --> 01:16:51,484
(SHIP CREAKING AND GROANING)
1659
01:16:51,974 --> 01:16:52,975
Polly!
1660
01:16:54,109 --> 01:16:55,144
Oh, no, you don't.
1661
01:16:55,210 --> 01:16:56,245
Captain?
1662
01:17:00,015 --> 01:17:02,052
(GRUNTS)
1663
01:17:05,854 --> 01:17:08,926
Kiss your beaky
little friend goodbye.
1664
01:17:11,860 --> 01:17:13,862
(GRUNTING)
1665
01:17:13,929 --> 01:17:15,374
(YELLS)
1666
01:17:18,333 --> 01:17:20,108
(GAS PS)
1667
01:17:22,170 --> 01:17:23,740
(GROWLS)
1668
01:17:24,806 --> 01:17:25,978
(LAUGHS)
1669
01:17:27,509 --> 01:17:30,012
That's it, Polly.
Snip-snip.
1670
01:17:30,078 --> 01:17:32,354
Come on, little dodo.
Bitey-bite.
1671
01:17:32,514 --> 01:17:34,255
The dumpy lady's got Polly!
1672
01:17:34,516 --> 01:17:35,927
Snip-Snip
1673
01:17:37,319 --> 01:17:38,423
Bite it!
1674
01:17:38,553 --> 01:17:40,226
Bite it, you stupid bird!
1675
01:17:40,355 --> 01:17:41,993
Bite it!
1676
01:17:42,057 --> 01:17:43,365
(SCREAMS)
1677
01:17:43,425 --> 01:17:45,405
(FABRIC RIPS)
(AIR HISSING)
1678
01:17:47,029 --> 01:17:48,337
(SCREAMING)
1679
01:17:48,530 --> 01:17:50,134
QUEEN VICTORIA: No!
1680
01:17:50,198 --> 01:17:51,541
My dodo!
1681
01:17:51,600 --> 01:17:52,670
Polly!
1682
01:17:52,834 --> 01:17:54,905
QUEEN VICTORIA: My dinner!
1683
01:17:56,038 --> 01:17:57,779
(GAS PS)
1684
01:17:59,207 --> 01:18:00,379
(GRUNTS)
(HISSING STOPS)
1685
01:18:04,713 --> 01:18:05,817
(GAS PS)
1686
01:18:10,352 --> 01:18:11,854
Oh, barnacles.
1687
01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:14,827
(SCREAMS)
1688
01:18:19,561 --> 01:18:20,767
(GAS PS)
1689
01:18:31,406 --> 01:18:33,477
Well done, sir.
1690
01:18:33,542 --> 01:18:34,543
Hey!
1691
01:18:34,609 --> 01:18:36,179
Wah-hey, Captain!
1692
01:18:36,244 --> 01:18:37,450
Whoo! Whoo!
1693
01:18:37,579 --> 01:18:38,887
Fair play to you, sir.
1694
01:18:38,947 --> 01:18:40,187
(ACCORDION WHINING)
1695
01:18:40,382 --> 01:18:42,123
(CHUCKLES) Wah-hey!
1696
01:18:44,953 --> 01:18:49,060
This is our most unexpectedly
heartwarming adventure ever.
1697
01:18:49,124 --> 01:18:51,604
QUEEN VICTORIA: You'll swing for this!
Curse you!
1698
01:18:51,793 --> 01:18:55,036
And after you've done swinging,
I'll chop your head off!
1699
01:18:55,097 --> 01:18:57,873
I'll put it in a cannon
and fire it into the sun!
1700
01:18:57,933 --> 01:19:00,436
Does that mean
he's not pardoned anymore?
1701
01:19:00,502 --> 01:19:01,913
"Pardoned"?
1702
01:19:01,970 --> 01:19:03,313
(SCREAMS)
(AIR HISSING)
1703
01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:07,247
You'll be outlawed
across the globe!
1704
01:19:07,309 --> 01:19:10,916
There'll be a higher price on your
head than any pirate before you!
1705
01:19:11,346 --> 01:19:15,750
The whole world
will know your name!
1706
01:19:15,751 --> 01:19:18,322
(CHEERING)
1707
01:19:19,521 --> 01:19:21,262
NUMBER TWO: Welcome back,
1708
01:19:21,890 --> 01:19:23,301
Captain.
1709
01:19:26,862 --> 01:19:28,102
(GRUNTS)
1710
01:19:31,133 --> 01:19:32,339
Yay!
1711
01:19:32,400 --> 01:19:33,708
(CHUCKLES)
1712
01:19:41,176 --> 01:19:43,178
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
1713
01:19:47,916 --> 01:19:49,793
See ya!
Bye!
1714
01:19:49,851 --> 01:19:51,626
Bye-bye!
1715
01:19:53,255 --> 01:19:55,394
(AIR HISSING)
1716
01:19:57,058 --> 01:19:59,163
J' You can get it
if you really want
1717
01:19:59,728 --> 01:20:01,366
J' But you must try
1718
01:20:01,863 --> 01:20:03,433
PIRATE CAPTAIN: Well, it's
been a pleasure, Charles.
1719
01:20:03,498 --> 01:20:05,171
Good luck with the science.
1720
01:20:05,333 --> 01:20:06,539
Thank you, Captain.
1721
01:20:06,668 --> 01:20:07,908
Oh, and just a little tip,
1722
01:20:07,969 --> 01:20:09,448
grow yourself a beard.
1723
01:20:09,538 --> 01:20:11,142
It'll make your face
look less lumpy.
1724
01:20:15,610 --> 01:20:18,216
(WHIMPERING)
1725
01:20:18,280 --> 01:20:19,520
(SCREAMS)
1726
01:20:19,581 --> 01:20:22,323
(GROWLING)
1727
01:20:23,318 --> 01:20:26,527
J' You've got your mind
set on a dream
1728
01:20:27,222 --> 01:20:30,669
J' You can get it
though hard it may seem now
1729
01:20:32,027 --> 01:20:33,665
100,000 doubloons.
1730
01:20:35,997 --> 01:20:37,772
Not bad, eh, Mr. Bobo?
1731
01:20:37,899 --> 01:20:40,880
J' You can get it
if you really want
1732
01:20:40,936 --> 01:20:44,145
J' But you must try,
try and try
1733
01:20:44,206 --> 01:20:45,981
(WHIMPERS)
1734
01:20:46,041 --> 01:20:48,385
(GUFFAWING)
1735
01:20:53,615 --> 01:20:55,720
That... I...
1736
01:20:55,784 --> 01:20:58,526
Is this a bit of squid tentacle?
ALBINO PIRATE: Yeah.
1737
01:20:58,587 --> 01:21:00,123
And that's my earwax.
1738
01:21:04,759 --> 01:21:08,206
I keep telling you, it's never been
about the trophies or the treasure.
1739
01:21:08,296 --> 01:21:10,833
It's about
who you are, inside.
1740
01:21:12,400 --> 01:21:13,902
I say, you're not...
1741
01:21:13,969 --> 01:21:16,347
Not a woman disguised as a
man, are you, Number Two?
1742
01:21:16,438 --> 01:21:17,508
No.
1743
01:21:17,572 --> 01:21:19,848
Because that does happen
surprisingly often at sea.
1744
01:21:19,908 --> 01:21:22,411
J' But the harder the battle,
you see
1745
01:21:23,445 --> 01:21:26,722
J' Is the sweeter,
the victory now
1746
01:21:26,982 --> 01:21:30,828
J' You can get it
if you really want
1747
01:21:30,886 --> 01:21:31,887
(GAS PS)
1748
01:21:31,953 --> 01:21:34,991
J' If you really want
1749
01:21:35,056 --> 01:21:37,229
J' You can get it
if you really want
1750
01:21:37,292 --> 01:21:38,532
J' But you must try J'
1751
01:21:39,027 --> 01:21:40,665
Well, come on, you coves.
1752
01:21:40,929 --> 01:21:42,806
Those treasure chests
won't plunder themselves.
1753
01:21:42,864 --> 01:21:44,207
Hoist the flag!
1754
01:21:44,266 --> 01:21:46,371
ALL: Aye, aye, Captain!
1755
01:21:46,434 --> 01:21:49,313
Set a course for adventure!
1756
01:21:49,371 --> 01:21:50,975
(PIRATES CHEERING)
1757
01:22:03,351 --> 01:22:05,353
(ROARS)
1758
01:22:09,958 --> 01:22:11,733
PIRATE CAPTAIN:
You see? I told you.
1759
01:22:11,793 --> 01:22:12,999
Didn't I tell you?
1760
01:22:13,061 --> 01:22:15,564
Just added on
for decoration, my foot.
1761
01:22:15,630 --> 01:22:17,166
(LOUD BURP)
1762
01:22:17,232 --> 01:22:19,234
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1763
01:22:21,970 --> 01:22:25,247
J' We are young
We run green
1764
01:22:25,307 --> 01:22:28,413
J' Keep our teeth
nice and clean
1765
01:22:28,476 --> 01:22:31,252
J' See our friends
See the sights
1766
01:22:31,313 --> 01:22:33,520
J' Feel all right
1767
01:22:34,849 --> 01:22:38,058
J' We wake up
We go out
1768
01:22:38,119 --> 01:22:41,362
J' Smoke a fag
Put it out
1769
01:22:41,423 --> 01:22:44,267
J' See our friends
See the sights
1770
01:22:44,326 --> 01:22:46,567
J' Feel all right
1771
01:22:48,930 --> 01:22:54,312
J' Are we like you?
I can't be sure
1772
01:22:54,369 --> 01:22:57,646
J' Of the scene
As she turns
1773
01:22:57,706 --> 01:23:00,277
J' We are strange
in our worlds
1774
01:23:00,342 --> 01:23:04,313
J' But we are young
We get by
1775
01:23:04,379 --> 01:23:07,588
J' Can't go mad
Ain't got time
1776
01:23:07,649 --> 01:23:10,596
J' Sleep around
If we like
1777
01:23:10,652 --> 01:23:12,928
J' But we're all right
1778
01:23:14,055 --> 01:23:17,502
J' Got some cash
Bought some wheels
1779
01:23:17,559 --> 01:23:20,768
J' Took it out
Across the fields
1780
01:23:20,829 --> 01:23:23,776
J' Lost control
Hit a wall
1781
01:23:23,832 --> 01:23:26,108
J' But we're all right
1782
01:23:28,536 --> 01:23:33,918
J' Are we like you?
I can't be sure
1783
01:23:33,975 --> 01:23:37,286
J' Of the scene
As she turns
1784
01:23:37,345 --> 01:23:39,951
J' We are strange
in our worlds
1785
01:23:40,015 --> 01:23:43,986
J' But we are young
We run green
1786
01:23:44,052 --> 01:23:47,329
J' Keep our teeth
Nice and clean
1787
01:23:47,389 --> 01:23:50,268
J' See our friends
See the sights
1788
01:23:50,325 --> 01:23:53,568
J' Feel all right
1789
01:24:37,705 --> 01:24:42,882
J' Are we like you?
I can't be sure
1790
01:24:42,944 --> 01:24:46,221
J' Of the scene
As she turns
1791
01:24:46,281 --> 01:24:49,057
J' We are strange
in our worlds
1792
01:24:49,117 --> 01:24:53,031
J' But we are young
We run green
1793
01:24:53,088 --> 01:24:56,297
J' Keep our teeth
Nice and clean
1794
01:24:56,357 --> 01:24:59,236
J' See our friends
See the sights
1795
01:24:59,294 --> 01:25:02,707
J' Feel all right J'
1797
01:25:03,000 --> 01:25:06,115
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