1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:10,900 Subs made by: - MISTER CERBERUS - ---- mr_cerberus@live.nl --- 2 00:00:56,004 --> 00:00:57,964 What's up? I'm Bruno. 3 00:00:59,586 --> 00:01:03,049 I am in Austrias coldest city, Vienna ... 4 00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:05,062 No big deal, what ever ... 5 00:01:06,659 --> 00:01:13,537 I'm the host of "Funky time" the most important Tv Fashion show in any German speaking country. 6 00:01:13,844 --> 00:01:15,293 Apart from Germany. 7 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,357 "Funky Time" is over influential. 8 00:01:22,404 --> 00:01:28,366 In fact the Austrians fashionistas live there lives according to my in or out list. 9 00:01:28,734 --> 00:01:32,004 In Autism, out Chlamydia !! 10 00:01:32,684 --> 00:01:37,512 Why is Autism so cool at the moment? Becaus it's funny. 11 00:01:37,819 --> 00:01:38,500 Right ... 12 00:01:39,698 --> 00:01:45,282 "Funky Time" has interviewed everyone in the European fashion world.. 13 00:01:45,294 --> 00:01:49,596 Can you look at the camera and say, "You''re watching Funky time with Bruno." 14 00:01:49,727 --> 00:01:54,734 You are watching "Funky Time" program with Bruno, and it's really a great show. 15 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:59,294 Can you do it like even more like a black guy you know, more like an African. 16 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,199 Aah,like this... Yeah - Yeah - Yeah ... 17 00:02:01,368 --> 00:02:08,100 Your are watching "Funky time with Bruno", yo man, fuck man, welcome to the jungle. 18 00:02:08,448 --> 00:02:12,200 Something maybe a bit more crazy, maybe show a bit of skin or something? 19 00:02:12,441 --> 00:02:13,638 No I don't think so. 20 00:02:13,688 --> 00:02:17,594 What about just like one cool rugsack, one of the balls? 21 00:02:17,794 --> 00:02:18,706 No ... 22 00:02:19,679 --> 00:02:24,571 I'm the most exiting and i'm visiting the town. From the fashion streets of Milan 23 00:02:24,907 --> 00:02:28,164 Only for the German girls ... my great hair. 24 00:02:32,629 --> 00:02:36,929 Modeling, a lot of people think it's easy, but it's the hardest job in the world, isn't it? 25 00:02:37,202 --> 00:02:38,643 It's very hard. 26 00:02:39,396 --> 00:02:40,616 Standing on heels all day . 27 00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:44,568 And everyone is watching you... So you have to make sure your walk is good. 28 00:02:45,075 --> 00:02:50,665 Yes it is really very hard to remember when to bring your right leg forward and then your left ... 29 00:02:51,158 --> 00:02:56,754 and then again right, then left again ... - Yes ! 30 00:02:57,318 --> 00:03:01,008 And especially the turn it's..it's so scary. 31 00:03:01,824 --> 00:03:06,407 Being the hoost of "Funky time", brings Bruno always seated on the front row. 32 00:03:09,086 --> 00:03:10,419 You put on some waight. 33 00:03:10,468 --> 00:03:12,826 The kattle is calling the pot black. 34 00:03:14,768 --> 00:03:19,336 Hold your shoulders back, this is a Fashion show, not a slide auction. 35 00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:24,422 My personal assistant, Koukos is my rock. 36 00:03:24,764 --> 00:03:26,029 He's also my stylist. 37 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:29,250 These glasses are to much ? - Yeah i'll loos them. 38 00:03:29,350 --> 00:03:32,819 They are too much like... hey everybody look at me, look at my glasses! 39 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:37,989 Everybody likes to say "where are my glasses" He's also my nutritionist. 40 00:03:39,359 --> 00:03:40,516 I have a second assistant, 41 00:03:41,063 --> 00:03:43,396 but i can't remember his name. 42 00:03:43,719 --> 00:03:46,442 Bruno has known true love twice in his life. 43 00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:50,315 Once for 7 minutes, with Milly of Milly and Vanilly. 44 00:03:52,428 --> 00:03:59,591 But for the last 9 years i was head over heals in love with a flight attendant called Diesel. 45 00:04:00,183 --> 00:04:02,974 The jet pilot can operate in private you know. 46 00:04:03,349 --> 00:04:05,273 Boring stay at home time !! 47 00:04:35,631 --> 00:04:39,582 How much do you want? Just fill the glasses. 48 00:04:40,578 --> 00:04:44,586 In September 2008 i went to "Milan Fashion week" 49 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,961 To shoot a new season of "Funky Time" 50 00:04:48,610 --> 00:04:52,513 Bruno had backstage access for the hotest show of the week, 51 00:04:52,586 --> 00:04:53,520 "DE LA PRADA" 52 00:04:53,644 --> 00:05:00,100 So i wore the jewel of my wardrobe, a suite made entirely out of Velcrot. 53 00:05:13,768 --> 00:05:18,053 I'm wearing this, this is a prototype made by developer Frederique Vaoun. 54 00:05:18,996 --> 00:05:22,865 Serious i was looking at it, can i have one? 55 00:05:23,179 --> 00:05:25,492 Sorry it's a prototype, it's for one hour. 56 00:05:30,221 --> 00:05:34,474 -Well now, listen ... We have to finish the set. 57 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:02,755 Get me out of this ! 58 00:06:23,011 --> 00:06:25,131 Bruno opts out. 59 00:06:27,076 --> 00:06:33,006 For the second time in this century, the world has turned on Austrias greatest man. 60 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,009 Just because he was brave enough, to try something new. 61 00:06:39,006 --> 00:06:43,976 * Bruno was blacklisted * I GO TO THE FRONT ROW.... NO!! 62 00:06:58,350 --> 00:06:59,182 The first fall... 63 00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:03,570 I was Fired from "Funky Time. 64 00:07:07,502 --> 00:07:12,878 I realised that night that the fashion wold was superficial and vacuous. 65 00:07:14,638 --> 00:07:18,110 I decided instead to go to Los Angeles, 66 00:07:18,177 --> 00:07:19,698 to become a celebrity. 67 00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:27,327 And i was going to bee the biggest Austrian Superstar since Hitler. 68 00:07:29,464 --> 00:07:34,964 I'm not coming with you!! - Why not..? Because you're out, you humiliate me. 69 00:07:36,366 --> 00:07:39,200 I'm so sorry i humilated you. I've gotta go. 70 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,059 Babber... i love you. 71 00:07:42,514 --> 00:07:43,573 Diesel I Love You !!... Diesel. 72 00:07:59,570 --> 00:08:01,457 I will roll with you. 73 00:08:02,990 --> 00:08:04,047 Who are you? 74 00:08:04,773 --> 00:08:08,655 I am Lutz. Your assistant's assistant. 75 00:08:08,903 --> 00:08:10,921 Let me come to Los Angeles with you. 76 00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:12,927 I'll help you become famous. 77 00:08:13,312 --> 00:08:18,437 Why would I need your help; you're totally unqualified? 78 00:08:18,941 --> 00:08:22,981 Because I think you're... amazing. 79 00:08:23,079 --> 00:08:27,145 Will I wake up to you masturbating over me? 80 00:08:27,369 --> 00:08:29,875 I promise, I won't wake you up. 81 00:14:01,278 --> 00:14:04,934 I booked Paula Abdul very soon after! 82 00:14:05,305 --> 00:14:07,380 How crazy! 83 00:14:07,529 --> 00:14:09,825 But where is the furniture? 84 00:14:09,962 --> 00:14:10,707 It's gone. 85 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:14,618 I told them to move it out for today because of the interview. 86 00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:19,388 Without furniture, where will Paula sit? 87 00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:21,841 Are you trying to ruin me? 88 00:14:25,862 --> 00:14:27,702 Wait. 89 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,847 Paula's Agent spread the word. We've been blacklisted. 90 00:16:05,456 --> 00:16:06,085 What about... 91 00:16:08,290 --> 00:16:09,406 He won't come. 92 00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:28,628 How can I make a show without the celebrities? 93 00:16:28,841 --> 00:16:32,363 Don't worry... we have 24 hours, the show will go on. 94 00:20:52,958 --> 00:20:56,877 They don't want it. 95 00:20:58,479 --> 00:21:00,510 I don't know, how you still put up with me. 96 00:21:00,798 --> 00:21:04,495 I'm nothing. I should go back to Austria. 97 00:21:05,122 --> 00:21:06,832 No... you're amazing. 98 00:21:10,933 --> 00:21:16,311 Lutz, here's a good one. I have to make a porn. 99 00:32:37,607 --> 00:32:39,114 Be careful... 100 00:32:40,093 --> 00:32:41,052 Madonna has one. 101 00:32:41,562 --> 00:32:42,720 Brangelina has one. 102 00:32:43,004 --> 00:32:45,240 And now Br�no also has one! 103 00:32:49,328 --> 00:32:52,407 That is 13 pounds of black gold. 104 00:32:53,263 --> 00:32:55,036 Call all of the magazines. 105 00:32:55,599 --> 00:32:57,437 We're organizing the best photo shoot the world has ever known. 106 00:32:57,668 --> 00:33:00,085 It will make me so famous. Understood? 107 00:33:00,268 --> 00:33:01,053 Yes, I understand. 108 00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:55,547 What's all of this? 109 00:42:56,541 --> 00:42:58,160 OJ is gone. 110 00:42:58,375 --> 00:43:00,915 I'm committing carbicide. 111 00:43:01,450 --> 00:43:04,276 You have everything to live for. 112 00:43:05,187 --> 00:43:08,672 I am so tired. I can't walk back. 113 00:43:10,203 --> 00:43:14,439 Lutz, you're so strong. And you're just as comfy as a Mexican. 114 00:43:14,614 --> 00:43:16,186 You're so light, Mr. Br�no. 115 00:43:16,686 --> 00:43:18,619 Just like a feather. 116 00:43:18,931 --> 00:43:22,484 You know, I'm only nice to you, because I like you. 117 00:43:22,946 --> 00:43:25,730 Mr. Br�no, your hairbrush is pressing into my back. 118 00:43:27,136 --> 00:43:29,650 That's not my hairbrush. 119 00:43:43,124 --> 00:43:44,536 Where is the key? 120 00:43:45,202 --> 00:43:46,398 Call for help. 121 00:45:50,710 --> 00:45:52,821 That was the best day of my life. 122 00:45:53,261 --> 00:45:55,475 It was super, fantastic. 123 00:45:55,832 --> 00:45:57,454 Finally, we are together. 124 00:45:57,764 --> 00:45:59,505 Are you retarded, Lutz? 125 00:46:01,050 --> 00:46:03,667 Last night I was "carbohydrate-tripped" up. 126 00:46:03,969 --> 00:46:06,245 I had no idea, I didn't know what I was doing. 127 00:46:07,079 --> 00:46:12,015 I was high on Ragin' Cajun Potato Skins. 128 00:46:12,907 --> 00:46:13,379 I am Br�no. 129 00:46:14,460 --> 00:46:17,359 I don't date near nothing-assistants. 130 00:46:21,069 --> 00:46:22,846 Nobody loves as much as I love you... 131 00:46:23,406 --> 00:46:25,952 And I know, that you love me too. 132 00:46:26,724 --> 00:46:30,533 Please accept me. Or die alone. 133 00:46:37,549 --> 00:46:39,006 No. 134 00:46:47,328 --> 00:46:48,956 Where can you go Lutz? 135 00:46:49,277 --> 00:46:52,148 If you leave me, I'll not give you one cent. 136 00:46:52,953 --> 00:46:56,836 You can't do that anyways. You're broke. 137 00:46:58,218 --> 00:46:59,746 I don't need you anyway, Lutz. 138 00:47:01,164 --> 00:47:03,604 I can do well by myself. 139 00:47:04,382 --> 00:47:06,343 I am Br�no! 140 00:47:15,697 --> 00:47:20,010 It should happen at a low point. 141 00:47:20,770 --> 00:47:21,719 Lutz left ... 142 00:47:37,416 --> 00:47:40,558 I was about to give up my dream of celebrity. 143 00:47:41,627 --> 00:47:43,386 And suddenly it hit me. 144 00:47:47,093 --> 00:47:49,531 All the most famous stars in the world,.. 145 00:47:49,851 --> 00:47:53,767 Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kevin Spacy the ... 146 00:47:54,381 --> 00:47:56,501 They all have one thing in commmon,.. 147 00:47:57,395 --> 00:47:58,984 They were all straight. 148 00:48:02,807 --> 00:48:06,698 To become famous I have to quit guys. 149 00:48:07,499 --> 00:48:11,126 I just needed to find a cockaholics anonymous. 150 00:48:14,521 --> 00:48:16,630 Things have got to change. 151 00:48:17,263 --> 00:48:19,328 I've thought of becoming straight. 152 00:48:20,751 --> 00:48:24,881 One time straight, can I still play the clarinet? 153 00:48:26,026 --> 00:48:31,192 If it doesn't remind you about some of the behavior that you're engaged in 154 00:48:31,230 --> 00:48:32,716 when you put your lips around it. 155 00:48:33,119 --> 00:48:37,898 If it doesn't remind you of that, go for it play the clarinet with everything inside you. 156 00:48:38,272 --> 00:48:44,390 If it does remind you of that, i say put it down, give it away, let a friend hold it. 157 00:48:45,142 --> 00:48:49,755 Until you know in your mind you're ready to pick it up again and it wouldend remind you of that. 158 00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:54,891 What if i put a flute up my stinker? 159 00:48:55,488 --> 00:48:59,875 I wouldn't do that because it would remind you of your former lifestyle. 160 00:48:59,900 --> 00:49:04,915 So you don't put any flutes or instuments up your ass? - Absolutely not ! 161 00:49:05,489 --> 00:49:06,542 -You know why? -Why? 162 00:49:06,997 --> 00:49:09,130 So you don't put any flutes or instuments up your ass? - Absolutely not ! 163 00:49:12,323 --> 00:49:14,396 Well, that would be bad. 164 00:49:14,472 --> 00:49:17,710 Is there any music that I shouldn't listen to, any bands? 165 00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,966 Sinead O'Connor,The Indigo girls,.. 166 00:49:22,125 --> 00:49:23,767 O course the Village People. 167 00:49:24,922 --> 00:49:27,082 Then i become stait? 168 00:49:28,017 --> 00:49:30,544 Any new hobby's that i should pick up. 169 00:49:30,907 --> 00:49:31,745 Do you enjoy hiking? 170 00:49:32,010 --> 00:49:33,114 Or lifting weights? - Sure !! 171 00:49:34,538 --> 00:49:36,048 There is nothing like working out, and lifting weights, 172 00:49:36,643 --> 00:49:42,652 and buiding your muscles around some other man that are not gay. 173 00:49:50,930 --> 00:49:52,538 I am totaly irresistible to gay guys. 174 00:49:53,180 --> 00:49:55,375 They see me and they want to stuff me. 175 00:49:55,606 --> 00:49:58,129 - OK. - So how do i protect against those guys. 176 00:49:59,033 --> 00:50:02,046 If they get close to you hit them, and leave the situation. 177 00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:04,427 How do you spot a homosexual? 178 00:50:04,613 --> 00:50:09,683 It's very hard to do, most of them dress no different than me and you. 179 00:50:10,042 --> 00:50:12,941 Myself, - It's kind of like.. 180 00:50:13,179 --> 00:50:18,911 Terrorists, if they dress like the police 181 00:50:19,257 --> 00:50:20,247 how would you know it's him? 182 00:50:20,407 --> 00:50:22,376 For the obvious things you should look for. 183 00:50:27,030 --> 00:50:31,264 So if someone approaches you on the street and is very nice to you, 184 00:50:31,741 --> 00:50:34,934 you know they are homosexual. - Most likely... 185 00:50:35,555 --> 00:50:39,893 How should i protect myself from being attacked bij Homosexuals? 186 00:50:40,843 --> 00:50:43,991 They probebly would attack from behind. 187 00:50:45,386 --> 00:50:50,353 Again if i'm a homosexual and i'm just trying to run in and kiss you? 188 00:50:51,142 --> 00:50:53,372 Boom !! He moved in at a wrong range. 189 00:50:54,109 --> 00:50:56,773 Let's say a homosexual has got you on the ground. 190 00:50:56,984 --> 00:51:00,319 What if a homosexual get you down here? 191 00:51:00,833 --> 00:51:08,258 Go to pool this down, i will block this and will hit with the elbow. 192 00:51:08,648 --> 00:51:10,144 How can you protect yourself from a dildo? 193 00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:12,271 Lets say i'm trying... 194 00:51:15,107 --> 00:51:16,227 Like this. 195 00:51:16,821 --> 00:51:17,157 And disarms the dildo? - Yes. 196 00:51:20,769 --> 00:51:23,251 Is it harder to defend against a black dildo? 197 00:51:23,739 --> 00:51:28,287 No, it's just as easy to defend against. 198 00:51:28,654 --> 00:51:29,768 So i'm attacking !!! 199 00:51:33,703 --> 00:51:36,881 Trap it, work the knees and elbow... 200 00:51:38,031 --> 00:51:40,303 How do you defend yourself from a man with two dildo's? - Here Boom! 201 00:51:54,595 --> 00:51:56,930 And if he's running with his pants down? - Here BOOM !!... break an arm. 202 00:52:10,672 --> 00:52:12,870 Thank you. It was fantastic. 203 00:52:13,593 --> 00:52:17,979 It's very usefull. - It's very different than what i have ever worked with. 204 00:52:20,211 --> 00:52:21,434 So you were never gay? 205 00:52:22,359 --> 00:52:25,805 It's ironic because you have amazing blowjob lips. 206 00:52:28,119 --> 00:52:30,853 These lips were made to praise the lord. 207 00:52:31,708 --> 00:52:34,654 No they are made for something else but you're not using them for that. 208 00:52:36,467 --> 00:52:41,340 Are there any activities you suggest were i'm surrounded just by straight guys? 209 00:52:55,768 --> 00:52:57,964 Hurry up, get in here. What? .... - Make this bed!! 210 00:52:59,240 --> 00:53:00,536 Hurry up !!... Make the bed. 211 00:53:00,710 --> 00:53:03,938 But do you have something maybe a double ... -Make the bed!!! 212 00:53:04,084 --> 00:53:08,259 -Would you hold the sheet over there? No, you will need that, Get Down ... 213 00:53:08,583 --> 00:53:11,235 -What? -I said get down ... and do push ups. 214 00:53:11,703 --> 00:53:14,409 This line around here is the line you don't cross . 215 00:53:27,593 --> 00:53:30,544 By the way, where is your uniform ? Go get your uniform on. 216 00:53:30,795 --> 00:53:31,781 Do it. 217 00:53:32,678 --> 00:53:34,102 Oh God. 218 00:53:35,513 --> 00:53:36,804 What's up with the scarf? 219 00:53:37,152 --> 00:53:39,878 This is like my own ... Let me intoduce you to someone. 220 00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:42,947 What are you doing? 221 00:53:43,235 --> 00:53:44,931 Stand to position of attention soldier! -Do it ! 222 00:53:49,022 --> 00:53:49,785 Stand still soldier. 223 00:53:50,267 --> 00:53:52,384 That is not part of the uniform ... You need to take that of ! 224 00:53:52,612 --> 00:53:58,516 This outfit is to machy machy as it is and i added some horizontal lines. 225 00:53:58,965 --> 00:54:00,460 Do you have an attitude candidate? 226 00:54:07,631 --> 00:54:08,996 Get down candidate! Do it! 227 00:54:09,691 --> 00:54:11,554 What type of belt is that candidate? 228 00:54:12,018 --> 00:54:14,022 What is that? - D & G 229 00:54:14,168 --> 00:54:16,081 -What is D &G ? DOLCE & GABBANA... Hallo! 230 00:55:03,629 --> 00:55:05,797 Do it with your right hand. 231 00:55:06,248 --> 00:55:07,715 That's not good. 232 00:55:10,926 --> 00:55:15,336 Can I tell you about the person that changed my life? - Of course that's Carl Lagerfelt. 233 00:55:15,529 --> 00:55:17,647 No actually his name is Jezus. 234 00:55:17,984 --> 00:55:20,048 Jesus is in this room right now. 235 00:55:20,219 --> 00:55:21,791 He never leaves us, he never forsake us, ... 236 00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:24,039 -He's here ... -Amazing. 237 00:55:24,385 --> 00:55:26,032 That's exactly right, is amazing. 238 00:55:26,369 --> 00:55:29,732 You want to be famous? You'll be one that's so famous! 239 00:55:30,199 --> 00:55:32,237 You will prepare the way for other young men 240 00:55:32,367 --> 00:55:36,012 all over the world who want to come out of the homosexual lifestyle. 241 00:55:36,317 --> 00:55:37,306 And to make a change in their lives. 242 00:55:37,412 --> 00:55:39,711 And they say, if Bruno can do it I can do it. 243 00:55:40,188 --> 00:55:43,396 How did you change Bruno? And you say.. it's Jezus. 244 00:55:43,399 --> 00:55:46,796 He has changed me. But he wants to come in to your heart right now. 245 00:55:46,896 --> 00:55:48,302 Are you ready to make that change? 246 00:55:49,069 --> 00:55:50,270 Are you hitting on me? 247 00:55:52,043 --> 00:55:52,859 No, i'm not. 248 00:55:53,933 --> 00:55:57,766 Because that was realy hard, that whole stage. 249 00:55:59,772 --> 00:56:05,492 Are there any outdoor activities that I should do if I want to become straight? 250 00:56:05,583 --> 00:56:06,676 Absolutely. 251 00:56:07,605 --> 00:56:08,739 -Hi. -Hi. 252 00:56:19,092 --> 00:56:20,014 Heve you ever been hunting? 253 00:56:20,230 --> 00:56:24,190 I have never killed an animal, apart from a hamster that i suffocated in Mykonos. 254 00:56:29,862 --> 00:56:32,976 Do you prefer the vagina or the manly hands? .... 255 00:56:33,677 --> 00:56:35,169 -I prefer the vagina. -Me too. 256 00:56:36,242 --> 00:56:38,460 I love a women with a vagina. 257 00:56:38,565 --> 00:56:40,089 Yeah ... 258 00:56:40,238 --> 00:56:41,001 My favorite. 259 00:56:44,050 --> 00:56:45,607 We were just talking about vaginas. 260 00:56:46,303 --> 00:56:47,192 About what? 261 00:56:47,522 --> 00:56:49,584 Vagina's ... The woman's vagina ... 262 00:56:54,268 --> 00:56:56,685 -What you wear is not much fantasizing Oooh Yes ... 263 00:56:57,114 --> 00:56:59,131 -Really? -Fantasy. 264 00:56:59,172 --> 00:57:00,362 Realy wonderful fabric. 265 00:57:01,910 --> 00:57:02,995 It is my favorite. 266 00:57:20,649 --> 00:57:23,739 Look at the 4 of us ... We are so like the Sex and the City girls. 267 00:57:27,714 --> 00:57:29,450 Which one are you Danny? 268 00:57:29,730 --> 00:57:32,001 I ain't one of them. I am Danny. 269 00:57:33,515 --> 00:57:35,550 That is such a Samantha thing to say. 270 00:57:40,239 --> 00:57:43,226 I've never been out of the city before . 271 00:57:43,378 --> 00:57:46,159 And... how does it feel? 272 00:57:46,954 --> 00:57:48,706 I feel a bit vulnerable. 273 00:57:50,509 --> 00:57:55,016 You know I am 19 years old, i've got a perfect body ... 274 00:57:55,304 --> 00:57:59,373 I don't wanna wake up tomorrow morning and find out... 275 00:57:59,485 --> 00:58:01,764 that i'm taunt in my ass A-pillar. 276 00:58:04,050 --> 00:58:09,055 You probably aint going or what.... - But you just ditched us. 277 00:58:10,581 --> 00:58:12,603 There are so many stars in the sky. 278 00:58:16,412 --> 00:58:19,151 Makes you think of all the hot guys in the world. 279 00:59:01,257 --> 00:59:02,071 Mike? 280 00:59:04,598 --> 00:59:07,341 -Yes. It's me... Bruno. 281 00:59:10,765 --> 00:59:13,793 - There is a homosexual. -What? 282 00:59:14,627 --> 00:59:18,313 I think we'll both be safe if i sleep with you here tonight. 283 00:59:19,055 --> 00:59:22,266 I don't give a god damn, get to your fucking tent and leave me alone. 284 00:59:22,425 --> 00:59:23,633 Okay goodnight. 285 00:59:24,900 --> 00:59:25,822 Sweet dreams. 286 00:59:39,159 --> 00:59:40,258 Can I come in? 287 00:59:40,859 --> 00:59:46,324 It's just this bear undoing my clothes. He could get interest in pats of me 288 00:59:47,207 --> 00:59:48,727 Get the fuck out of here. 289 00:59:57,353 --> 01:00:02,909 Reverend Pitzei found me to much of a hand full, and put me in touch with one of his chumps . 290 01:00:03,390 --> 01:00:05,022 You look descent in that. 291 01:00:06,457 --> 01:00:08,584 You look like a straight guy, how's that? 292 01:00:10,959 --> 01:00:12,451 Women are good for us. 293 01:00:14,143 --> 01:00:16,948 They're good, even though.... 294 01:00:17,017 --> 01:00:20,202 they appear to us to be terribly conventional. 295 01:00:21,341 --> 01:00:24,676 And we find that some what irritating 296 01:00:27,161 --> 01:00:28,600 That they complain so much. 297 01:00:29,577 --> 01:00:30,424 Right. 298 01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:31,510 But the need that... 299 01:00:31,841 --> 01:00:38,381 We need many of the things, that at first glance are ... 300 01:00:38,718 --> 01:00:41,419 annoying and irritating... 301 01:00:42,144 --> 01:00:45,743 and women often don't stick to the point. 302 01:00:46,165 --> 01:00:50,010 They are often talking about one thing, and then another and another ... 303 01:00:50,614 --> 01:00:52,455 and they never get back to the first point... 304 01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:54,761 maybe ever. 305 01:00:55,774 --> 01:01:00,654 I'm repulsed by the idea of making the sex with a woman. 306 01:01:01,704 --> 01:01:09,959 The important thing is to be around women, some what that you find... 307 01:01:10,023 --> 01:01:11,497 tolerable or interesting ... 308 01:01:13,769 --> 01:01:14,738 And give them a chance to seduce you. 309 01:01:17,602 --> 01:01:18,626 "Swingers Party" 310 01:01:20,586 --> 01:01:21,949 I hardly do get them first? 311 01:01:26,109 --> 01:01:30,788 Of all nights for us to swing was the night of our honeymoon. 312 01:01:31,828 --> 01:01:34,372 And what is your favorite position? 313 01:01:35,434 --> 01:01:38,043 That would be missionary or reverse cowgirl. 314 01:01:39,008 --> 01:01:40,406 What is "reverse cowgirl" ? 315 01:01:41,326 --> 01:01:42,915 Show me, I pretent as a woman . 316 01:01:43,359 --> 01:01:45,293 Like i'm sitting here ... 317 01:01:47,788 --> 01:01:49,065 - And you'll be sitting like that ... Right. 318 01:01:49,447 --> 01:01:50,692 - That's called reverse cowgirl . Right. 319 01:01:50,740 --> 01:01:54,511 And then when you're faceing me that's called cowgirl. 320 01:01:54,688 --> 01:01:57,357 This one is cowgirl or reverse cowgirl ? 321 01:01:57,558 --> 01:02:02,579 This is cowgirl, and then when you turn the opposite way, it's reverse cowgirl. 322 01:02:06,331 --> 01:02:07,831 And what other positions are there? 323 01:02:08,419 --> 01:02:09,353 Car driver ... 324 01:02:10,655 --> 01:02:15,590 - 69 - This is the girls position, you don't wanna be like this for ever. 325 01:02:15,910 --> 01:02:17,842 There is missionary, doggy style ... 326 01:02:18,104 --> 01:02:18,969 What's doggy style like? 327 01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:21,580 You'll be bent over like a dog does it ... 328 01:02:21,690 --> 01:02:25,126 -Like that? -Yes. -And then what will you be doing? 329 01:02:25,330 --> 01:02:28,832 If you was a woman i'd be happy. - Show me ! 330 01:02:32,350 --> 01:02:38,755 I would be humping you like that ... -I can't wait to do this to a women. 331 01:02:47,799 --> 01:02:50,055 Anybody wants a sandwich ? 332 01:02:54,945 --> 01:02:55,514 Right ... 333 01:03:13,555 --> 01:03:14,217 Good boy ... 334 01:03:16,287 --> 01:03:21,287 Ohh.. fuck yeah..... - You're doing a nice job. 335 01:03:23,613 --> 01:03:25,428 Come on, try to look at my eyes ... 336 01:03:26,429 --> 01:03:27,777 Look me in the eyes, you can do that. 337 01:03:32,585 --> 01:03:36,494 Why would he look you in the eyes when he is likking our pussy?? 338 01:03:36,762 --> 01:03:41,344 Just for concentration. - He does not like other guys..... 339 01:03:42,290 --> 01:03:43,782 This is a swingers party !! 340 01:03:44,015 --> 01:03:49,722 You don't want pussy if you don't want fucking ? Than quit touching me and quit looking at me. 341 01:03:51,370 --> 01:03:54,648 I didn't come here for no fucking queer show. - Me neither. 342 01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:56,434 -O.K. lets keep it at that then. 343 01:03:56,951 --> 01:03:59,259 This is a fucking swingers party, right guys? 344 01:04:02,138 --> 01:04:05,800 Hi ... Come with me. 345 01:04:09,297 --> 01:04:12,037 I was just going to the kitchen -Ohh, yea, yea... 346 01:04:17,625 --> 01:04:21,343 Let's maybe forget we know each other, I thing it's broken !! ... 347 01:04:24,019 --> 01:04:26,516 Let's get to know each other a little bit first ... 348 01:04:27,903 --> 01:04:29,736 -What? -You must seduce a lot of men. 349 01:04:31,052 --> 01:04:33,153 I don't want you to do something that you will regret.. 350 01:04:33,273 --> 01:04:36,617 you wake up tomorrow and you've lost your virginity and you feel ashamed. 351 01:04:36,744 --> 01:04:40,609 You know, let's take this a little slower ... 352 01:04:40,893 --> 01:04:43,834 Sit the fuck down. SIT THE FUCK DOWN !! 353 01:04:44,013 --> 01:04:47,826 Don't fuck around !! No,.. Let's do this the right way, 354 01:04:48,550 --> 01:04:53,084 I sit down with your father, we talk about this, and he gives his permition. 355 01:04:53,296 --> 01:04:58,811 You could be a little bitch here and take your clothes of, or I rip them 356 01:04:59,013 --> 01:04:59,814 Yeah ... 357 01:04:59,821 --> 01:05:05,636 Thanks. - We are going to make this heterosexual sex good. 358 01:05:07,317 --> 01:05:08,568 Do as I say !! .... 359 01:05:10,085 --> 01:05:11,804 take that fucking shit of now ... 360 01:05:19,490 --> 01:05:20,315 Take it off... 361 01:05:20,546 --> 01:05:21,267 I've got an idea... 362 01:05:21,432 --> 01:05:24,432 try a little bit of dress up here, it will be erotic 363 01:05:24,846 --> 01:05:26,878 What is this? You want to dress me like a man? 364 01:05:27,043 --> 01:05:27,867 No it's just a beard. 365 01:05:28,124 --> 01:05:30,978 - You want me to wear the beard? Come on it will be fun... 366 01:05:30,702 --> 01:05:34,443 I don't need a beard ... Take it of now. 367 01:05:41,052 --> 01:05:45,300 Get on your fucking knees and suck my spike here bitch. 368 01:05:59,747 --> 01:06:02,925 I'm gonna be the straightest man who's ever lived. 369 01:06:02,995 --> 01:06:07,532 And then I will be famous... You'll see, you'll see. 370 01:06:35,021 --> 01:06:38,455 - 8 MONTHS LATER - Want to see some ass kicking tonight? 371 01:06:39,041 --> 01:06:42,166 Make some noise, put your hands together for... 372 01:06:42,463 --> 01:06:47,393 the host of a brand new Tv show "Straight Gays" 373 01:07:15,590 --> 01:07:18,406 Are you ready for some man slamming action? 374 01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:23,310 Who's ready for an old fashion hetro fest? 375 01:07:26,154 --> 01:07:29,947 Are you 100% hetro, like me? 376 01:07:42,880 --> 01:07:45,035 I want to hear you say, "Straight pride" 377 01:08:00,718 --> 01:08:04,887 You know why? Because my asshole is just for shitting. 378 01:08:09,026 --> 01:08:12,134 It's great to have an evening with straight people. 379 01:08:12,279 --> 01:08:15,067 It's great not to have any fags here. 380 01:08:15,871 --> 01:08:18,797 - Go faggot !! -Who called me a faggot ? 381 01:08:20,027 --> 01:08:23,371 Who ever called me a faggot come out here and i'll beat your ass. 382 01:08:44,335 --> 01:08:47,891 Who wants to see me, beat this faggot? 383 01:08:48,150 --> 01:08:55,150 Subs made by - MISTER CERBERUS - --- mr_cerberus@live.nl --- 384 01:11:18,344 --> 01:11:20,325 The footage went everywhere. 385 01:11:20,483 --> 01:11:23,380 And Bruno became "Uber" famous . 386 01:11:24,865 --> 01:11:28,607 As for Loutz ... We decided to get married in California. 387 01:11:29,623 --> 01:11:33,087 But because of the law, we had to be a bit inventive . 388 01:11:33,118 --> 01:11:36,705 I feel this is the biggest step you'll , ever make in your life now. 389 01:11:37,283 --> 01:11:37,745 That's right. 390 01:11:38,585 --> 01:11:41,089 Am I gonna be able to meet her, before we actually start? 391 01:11:41,643 --> 01:11:42,358 Sure. 392 01:11:56,824 --> 01:11:57,990 I don't marry two men or two women. 393 01:11:58,872 --> 01:12:02,468 If she's a man, how did she gave birth to our son? 394 01:12:04,164 --> 01:12:06,289 You gave birth to a little black child ? 395 01:12:07,099 --> 01:12:07,673 Yes. 396 01:12:09,170 --> 01:12:10,620 When did you had the baby? 397 01:12:11,712 --> 01:12:13,893 I don't even know why i'm asking that. 398 01:12:15,551 --> 01:12:17,794 But even though the marriage was a nish nish, 399 01:12:17,943 --> 01:12:20,212 we weren't gonna let it get us down. 400 01:12:20,697 --> 01:12:24,151 We were happy. We had each other and we had OJ back. 401 01:12:27,650 --> 01:12:35,688 I was so famous that I was able to record my very own Charity Video. 402 01:12:44,166 --> 01:12:50,759 I wrote a song that i hope is gonna bring the world together. 403 01:12:55,542 --> 01:12:58,671 Put down your guns and bombs, 404 01:12:59,285 --> 01:13:03,170 and just make love forever. 405 01:13:08,357 --> 01:13:10,563 He's come to heal the world.... 406 01:13:11,832 --> 01:13:15,208 and make all nations calmer 407 01:13:20,839 --> 01:13:24,601 I am the Austrian Jesus, 408 01:13:25,015 --> 01:13:28,299 He is the white Obama. 409 01:13:33,780 --> 01:13:36,470 War is based on hate and fear... 410 01:13:37,231 --> 01:13:39,933 stop fighting North and South Korea. 411 01:13:40,515 --> 01:13:43,902 You're really both Chinese. 412 01:13:44,186 --> 01:13:47,217 It's Bruno the dove of peace. 413 01:13:47,350 --> 01:13:49,250 Hey Bruno were are the bitches? 414 01:13:49,889 --> 01:13:52,789 It's Bruno the dove of peace. 415 01:14:12,049 --> 01:14:14,871 I had a dream for the 3rd World. 416 01:14:15,617 --> 01:14:19,166 clean water, food and teaching. 417 01:14:24,494 --> 01:14:27,802 In every village and every town... 418 01:14:28,858 --> 01:14:31,280 a place for anal bleaching . 419 01:14:37,430 --> 01:14:40,411 We need to free the world of hunger ... 420 01:14:40,672 --> 01:14:43,736 I am like Bono but so much younger. 421 01:14:44,845 --> 01:14:47,302 Hey's only 19 ... 422 01:14:47,878 --> 01:14:50,416 I'm Bruno the peace dove. 423 01:14:53,307 --> 01:14:55,175 Hey, hey... he's gay, he's gay ... Ok. 424 01:14:55,325 --> 01:15:03,325 Subs made by: - MISTER CERBERUS - ---- mr_cerberus@live.com ---