1
00:01:57,678 --> 00:01:58,747
Good morning.

2
00:01:58,998 --> 00:02:00,317
Good morning.

3
00:03:10,038 --> 00:03:11,391
Wave those flags, son!

4
00:03:11,638 --> 00:03:12,787
Get out of there!

5
00:03:13,278 --> 00:03:14,631
Hit them again!

6
00:03:14,878 --> 00:03:15,913
Get out of here!

7
00:03:16,158 --> 00:03:18,433
Get out of them trees, damn it!

8
00:03:20,198 --> 00:03:21,187
Get them!

9
00:03:21,438 --> 00:03:22,666
Migrate south, will you?

10
00:03:22,918 --> 00:03:23,873
Mama!

11
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,427
Mama!

12
00:03:26,958 --> 00:03:30,314
-Three more radios for you, Shelby.
-Not now, Tommy. Mama!

13
00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,628
This nail polish is drying
way too dark.

14
00:03:32,878 --> 00:03:36,712
Practically Pink, my foot. Looks
like a stuck pig bled all over my hand.

15
00:03:36,958 --> 00:03:38,949
lm sure l have something
that will do.

16
00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:40,906
Oh, no!

17
00:03:41,718 --> 00:03:42,992
lt has to be delicate.

18
00:03:43,238 --> 00:03:47,675
lf l dont have something, your brother
will go get some delicate pink polish.

19
00:03:47,918 --> 00:03:49,351
-Mom--
-Jonathan, just a minute.

20
00:03:49,598 --> 00:03:52,271
Great. ld love to see
what the boys would pick out.

21
00:03:52,598 --> 00:03:55,988
Delivery man! Someone stop
that truck! Stop that--

22
00:03:57,478 --> 00:03:59,230
Dont put ice down my back!

23
00:03:59,478 --> 00:04:01,116
You shouldve drowned them at birth.

24
00:04:01,358 --> 00:04:02,473
Shelby.

25
00:04:02,918 --> 00:04:05,193
-See if you can get this.
-My nails are wet.

26
00:04:05,438 --> 00:04:06,553
Shelby!

27
00:04:08,238 --> 00:04:09,034
Maam?

28
00:04:09,278 --> 00:04:11,269
Would you look at those, please?

29
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,907
Dad, over here! Behind the tent!
Come on!

30
00:04:14,158 --> 00:04:15,591
Myrtle, hi.

31
00:04:16,878 --> 00:04:18,197
Hold on, please.

32
00:04:18,438 --> 00:04:19,427
lm gonna get you!

33
00:04:20,958 --> 00:04:21,754
Drum!

34
00:04:21,958 --> 00:04:24,392
Sweetheart, lm on the phone.

35
00:04:25,238 --> 00:04:28,355
Stop that now!
l cant hear myself think!

36
00:04:28,798 --> 00:04:31,596
Myrtle, the champagne glasses,
theyre all broken.

37
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:32,748
Help!

38
00:04:43,518 --> 00:04:44,428
Spud!

39
00:04:55,478 --> 00:04:58,436
Spud, turn off that stupid television.

40
00:04:58,918 --> 00:05:01,990
Get in here and finish dyeing
these Easter eggs.

41
00:05:02,238 --> 00:05:03,387
l ran out of stuff.

42
00:05:03,638 --> 00:05:05,833
Well, thats why God
invented the A P.

43
00:05:06,078 --> 00:05:09,195
-Gotta work on the truck.
-No, you gotta get the lead out.

44
00:05:09,398 --> 00:05:11,593
Yes, maam. l live to serve.

45
00:05:11,798 --> 00:05:15,234
lf those eggs are not at the church
by noon, they dont get hidden.

46
00:05:16,598 --> 00:05:18,987
Are you listening to me, Spud?

47
00:05:22,758 --> 00:05:23,873
Mrs. Jones?

48
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:25,188
Are you Annelle?

49
00:05:25,398 --> 00:05:27,593
You sweet thing, come on.

50
00:05:27,878 --> 00:05:29,072
Excuse me.

51
00:05:29,798 --> 00:05:32,756
Pick up my green dress
at the cleaners!

52
00:05:33,478 --> 00:05:35,469
Am l interrupting something?

53
00:05:35,718 --> 00:05:40,348
No, lm just screaming at my
husband. l can do that anytime.

54
00:05:40,678 --> 00:05:42,908
Please, call me Truvy.

55
00:05:43,518 --> 00:05:44,553
Thank you.

56
00:05:45,518 --> 00:05:48,157
Mama, look at this.
This was in the hall closet.

57
00:05:48,358 --> 00:05:49,677
What is it?

58
00:05:50,278 --> 00:05:51,427
Rubbers.

59
00:05:51,638 --> 00:05:55,347
Tommy says Jonathans planning to cover
the honeymoon car with these.

60
00:05:56,278 --> 00:05:58,746
-Please stop him!
-Keep your voice down.

61
00:05:58,998 --> 00:05:59,987
Jonathan!

62
00:06:00,278 --> 00:06:01,996
Boys, l wanna talk to you.

63
00:06:02,238 --> 00:06:04,229
Tommy! Jonathan! Tommy!

64
00:06:04,558 --> 00:06:08,346
Jonathan, dont you decorate
your sisters car with condoms!

65
00:06:08,598 --> 00:06:09,826
lts tacky!

66
00:06:11,518 --> 00:06:13,395
lts like talking to a brick wall.

67
00:06:14,558 --> 00:06:16,913
lf hes trying to drive me crazy,
its too late.

68
00:06:17,158 --> 00:06:19,718
There must be a better way
to get rid of those birds.

69
00:06:19,958 --> 00:06:21,596
We could cut down all our trees...

70
00:06:21,838 --> 00:06:25,387
...or change the migratory patterns
of the birds. Take your pick.

71
00:06:25,638 --> 00:06:27,549
You told him to get rid of them.

72
00:06:27,798 --> 00:06:31,154
l had no idea he would alienate
the entire neighbourhood.

73
00:06:31,398 --> 00:06:32,956
ltd be a lot more alienated...

74
00:06:33,198 --> 00:06:35,666
...if they got covered
in bird shit at my reception.

75
00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:36,828
Pretty talk!

76
00:06:37,638 --> 00:06:39,754
Do you have to be so crude?

77
00:06:50,918 --> 00:06:51,873
There.

78
00:06:53,558 --> 00:06:54,673
l see a hole.

79
00:06:54,918 --> 00:06:56,636
l was hoping youd catch that.

80
00:06:57,718 --> 00:07:01,870
lts a little bit pouffier than l
would normally do, but lm nervous.

81
00:07:02,238 --> 00:07:03,557
lm not worried about that.

82
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:07,108
l usually wrap my entire head
in toilet paper when l go to bed...

83
00:07:07,358 --> 00:07:10,748
...so it usually gets pretty shmushed
down in that process anyway.

84
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:15,594
At the trade school, l was number one
when it came to frosting and streaking.

85
00:07:15,838 --> 00:07:17,271
l did my own.

86
00:07:17,518 --> 00:07:18,507
Really?

87
00:07:18,958 --> 00:07:19,947
Thats good.

88
00:07:20,198 --> 00:07:23,907
And l can usually spot a bottle job
at 20 paces.

89
00:07:24,718 --> 00:07:27,107
-Your technique is really good.
-Thanks.

90
00:07:27,358 --> 00:07:30,953
l think your form and content
will improve with time.

91
00:07:31,198 --> 00:07:35,316
So, best l can tell, young lady,
youve just landed yourself a job.

92
00:07:35,558 --> 00:07:36,752
Oh, God!

93
00:07:37,358 --> 00:07:38,313
Thank you!

94
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:39,752
Thank you, Miss Truvy.

95
00:07:39,998 --> 00:07:43,468
No time for thanks. Well be busier
than a one-armed paperhanger.

96
00:07:43,718 --> 00:07:44,867
Here, let me help you.

97
00:07:45,118 --> 00:07:46,312
lts all right. l got it.

98
00:07:46,558 --> 00:07:48,992
You got tiny little hairs
and fuzzies all over you.

99
00:07:49,238 --> 00:07:51,388
Theres so much static electricity
in this room...

100
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,277
...l pick up everything
but boys and money.

101
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,467
Louie!

102
00:07:59,838 --> 00:08:01,271
Louie, hold up!

103
00:08:01,518 --> 00:08:02,792
l want you to meet Annelle.

104
00:08:04,158 --> 00:08:05,591
Shes taking Judys place.

105
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:07,028
Swell.

106
00:08:08,478 --> 00:08:10,355
Louie, take out the garbage!

107
00:08:10,798 --> 00:08:11,753
Cant.

108
00:08:12,198 --> 00:08:13,153
Late.

109
00:08:14,638 --> 00:08:16,515
Whatd you hire her for?

110
00:08:19,838 --> 00:08:21,032
Our son.

111
00:08:21,318 --> 00:08:23,434
Were so proud of him.

112
00:08:24,478 --> 00:08:27,550
Annelle, honey, what do you say
we talk some trash?

113
00:08:30,278 --> 00:08:32,917
lm so excited.
l cant believe its happening.

114
00:08:33,158 --> 00:08:35,114
lm a beautician!

115
00:08:35,358 --> 00:08:37,349
Glamour technician.

116
00:08:37,598 --> 00:08:39,190
Glamour technician.

117
00:08:39,438 --> 00:08:42,589
lll have you know, you are
working in the most successful shop...

118
00:08:42,838 --> 00:08:44,066
...in this town.

119
00:08:44,318 --> 00:08:48,152
Because l have a strict philosophy
that l have stuck to for 1 5 years.

120
00:08:48,398 --> 00:08:51,310
There is no such thing
as natural beauty.

121
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,873
There is no such thing
as natural beauty.

122
00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:56,427
You remember that,
or were all out of a job.

123
00:08:56,678 --> 00:08:59,715
Just look at me. lt takes
some effort to look like this.

124
00:08:59,958 --> 00:09:01,914
l can see that.

125
00:09:02,638 --> 00:09:04,469
So how long have you been in town?

126
00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:05,787
A few weeks.

127
00:09:06,038 --> 00:09:07,073
New in town.

128
00:09:07,318 --> 00:09:09,673
lt must be exciting
being in a new place.

129
00:09:09,918 --> 00:09:12,955
l wouldnt know.
lve lived here all my life.

130
00:09:13,518 --> 00:09:16,112
Well, tell me things about yourself.

131
00:09:16,518 --> 00:09:17,633
Theres nothing to tell.

132
00:09:17,878 --> 00:09:21,314
l live here. lve got a job now.
Thats it.

133
00:09:21,558 --> 00:09:23,788
How about a few of these issues
of Southern Hair?

134
00:09:24,038 --> 00:09:25,073
Sure, take them.

135
00:09:25,318 --> 00:09:28,515
lt is essential to stay abreast
of the latest styles.

136
00:09:28,758 --> 00:09:30,988
And lm glad to see your interest.

137
00:09:32,118 --> 00:09:36,714
You must live close by. At least in
walking distance. l didnt see a car.

138
00:09:39,318 --> 00:09:41,309
l dont have a car.

139
00:09:41,678 --> 00:09:45,034
l been staying across the river
at Robelines boarding house.

140
00:09:45,438 --> 00:09:47,156
Thats quite a walk.

141
00:09:48,238 --> 00:09:49,990
Ruth Robeline.

142
00:09:50,238 --> 00:09:51,990
Now, there is a story for you.

143
00:09:52,878 --> 00:09:54,994
She is a troubled, twisted soul.

144
00:09:55,238 --> 00:09:58,310
Her whole life has been
an experiment in terror.

145
00:09:58,558 --> 00:10:00,947
Her husband got killed
in World War ll.

146
00:10:01,198 --> 00:10:03,473
Then her son got killed in Vietnam.

147
00:10:03,718 --> 00:10:07,791
When it comes to suffering, she is
right up there with Elizabeth Taylor.

148
00:10:08,038 --> 00:10:10,313
l had no idea.

149
00:10:12,718 --> 00:10:13,548
Hello!

150
00:10:13,798 --> 00:10:15,868
-Clairee!
-Good morning. Good morning!

151
00:10:16,118 --> 00:10:19,349
ld like to introduce you to
the former first lady of Chinquapin...

152
00:10:19,598 --> 00:10:22,317
...Miss Belcher.
ld like you to meet Annelle.

153
00:10:22,558 --> 00:10:24,310
lm a little embarrassed.
lm windblown.

154
00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:27,197
lve just been to the dedication
of the childrens park.

155
00:10:27,758 --> 00:10:29,077
How did that go?

156
00:10:29,318 --> 00:10:30,307
Beautifully.

157
00:10:30,558 --> 00:10:31,752
Except....

158
00:10:32,158 --> 00:10:35,594
Janice van Meter got hit
with a baseball. lt was fabulous.

159
00:10:35,838 --> 00:10:36,668
Was she hurt?

160
00:10:36,918 --> 00:10:39,478
l doubt it. She got hit in the head.

161
00:10:39,758 --> 00:10:42,989
Janice van Meter is the current
mayors wife. We hate her.

162
00:10:43,318 --> 00:10:45,786
They named the new park
after Clairees late husband.

163
00:10:46,038 --> 00:10:48,108
This town is so proud of her.

164
00:10:48,478 --> 00:10:49,831
Thats nice.

165
00:10:50,118 --> 00:10:52,552
Whats your family name, dear?

166
00:10:53,118 --> 00:10:55,473
My married name is Dupuy...

167
00:10:55,718 --> 00:10:57,709
...but lm originally from Zwolle.

168
00:10:58,198 --> 00:10:59,313
How nice.

169
00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:02,914
Theres towels in the dryer.
Would you fold them and bring them in?

170
00:11:03,158 --> 00:11:04,955
-Sure.
-Thank you.

171
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,029
Sweet gal. Whered you find her?

172
00:11:07,278 --> 00:11:08,552
Yesterday, when Judy quit...

173
00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:12,313
...l called up the trade school
and told them to send me a warm body.

174
00:11:12,558 --> 00:11:16,233
And Annelle was the valedictorian
of the hairdo class.

175
00:11:16,478 --> 00:11:19,276
And l think theres a story there.

176
00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:21,077
What makes you say that?

177
00:11:21,318 --> 00:11:22,990
For starters, shes married...

178
00:11:23,238 --> 00:11:27,151
...but shes living over
at Ruth Robelines alone.

179
00:11:27,398 --> 00:11:29,753
ld get to the bottom of this
if l were you.

180
00:11:29,998 --> 00:11:32,034
You have some silverware
youd like to keep.

181
00:11:32,278 --> 00:11:35,509
lm not worried about that.
Shes just as sweet as she can be.

182
00:11:35,798 --> 00:11:39,632
And, besides, l kind of like the idea
of hiring somebody with a past.

183
00:11:40,318 --> 00:11:43,708
She cant be more than 1 8.
She hasnt had time to have a past.

184
00:11:43,958 --> 00:11:45,073
Get with it, Clairee.

185
00:11:45,318 --> 00:11:49,550
This is the 80s. lf you can achieve
puberty, you can achieve a past.

186
00:11:51,318 --> 00:11:52,717
That man!

187
00:11:52,958 --> 00:11:56,234
l swear, l dont know how MLynn
puts up with that.

188
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:00,910
Go on, get out of here!

189
00:12:33,558 --> 00:12:34,354
Jackson, please.

190
00:12:34,598 --> 00:12:36,236
lm gonna talk some sense into you.

191
00:12:36,478 --> 00:12:39,436
lts bad luck to see me
before the wedding.

192
00:12:39,678 --> 00:12:41,828
So you are gonna marry me.

193
00:12:43,478 --> 00:12:47,153
Come on, now, we can work this out.
Shelby, please.

194
00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:49,554
You know you wont go
through with this.

195
00:12:49,798 --> 00:12:52,437
You dont have to give back
all the wedding presents.

196
00:12:52,878 --> 00:12:55,836
That VCR alone is worth
getting married for.

197
00:12:56,798 --> 00:12:58,390
And l love you.

198
00:13:01,038 --> 00:13:02,437
lf my daddy catches you here...

199
00:13:02,678 --> 00:13:05,988
...the question of whether or not
l can have your children wont matter.

200
00:13:06,238 --> 00:13:07,557
He will cut your thing off.

201
00:13:07,798 --> 00:13:09,595
Say youre gonna marry me.

202
00:13:10,478 --> 00:13:12,434
l hate suspense.

203
00:13:16,718 --> 00:13:19,710
You meet me 2:00,
Presbyterian Church.

204
00:13:19,958 --> 00:13:22,347
lll be the one in the veil,
down front.

205
00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:30,994
lm gonna make you very happy.

206
00:13:37,318 --> 00:13:38,671
Well see.

207
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:46,437
Give me the sports.

208
00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:53,753
Boys...

209
00:13:54,198 --> 00:13:58,032
...were off to Truvys. Jonathan,
keep your eye on your brother, Tommy.

210
00:13:58,278 --> 00:14:01,190
-Am l my brothers keeper?
-Youre your brothers warden.

211
00:14:01,438 --> 00:14:05,397
And that horrible womans coming by to
deliver the grooms cake in about an--

212
00:14:08,638 --> 00:14:09,753
Wheres your father?

213
00:14:09,998 --> 00:14:11,795
His coffee kicked in.

214
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:16,227
Shelby, lets go.

215
00:14:16,478 --> 00:14:18,912
lm coming, Mama.
l said ld be right there.

216
00:14:23,158 --> 00:14:25,467
Youre gonna be late
for your own wedding.

217
00:14:25,718 --> 00:14:28,676
lm wearing my hair down
because Jackson likes my hair down.

218
00:14:28,918 --> 00:14:31,068
The veil would be prettier
with your hair up.

219
00:14:31,318 --> 00:14:33,195
Get over it, Mama.

220
00:14:36,238 --> 00:14:38,911
Oh, God! Come here! Stop it, Rhett!

221
00:14:39,158 --> 00:14:40,307
Oh, shit!

222
00:14:40,918 --> 00:14:43,227
-lts Miss Ouiser.
-Back door.

223
00:14:47,118 --> 00:14:48,028
Drum!

224
00:14:48,478 --> 00:14:49,274
Come here.

225
00:14:49,478 --> 00:14:50,706
MLynn!

226
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,914
Open the door!
l know youre in there!

227
00:14:54,878 --> 00:14:56,516
l think theres somebody at the door.

228
00:14:56,758 --> 00:14:58,669
l think its for Daddy.

229
00:14:59,158 --> 00:15:01,035
l know youre in there!

230
00:15:03,918 --> 00:15:05,112
Say,  Please.

231
00:15:05,598 --> 00:15:06,792
Thank you.

232
00:15:08,598 --> 00:15:10,190
Get over there, Rhett!

233
00:15:10,638 --> 00:15:11,673
Stop pulling!

234
00:15:11,918 --> 00:15:13,510
Sit! Rhett!

235
00:15:13,798 --> 00:15:15,834
Sit! Sit!

236
00:15:17,678 --> 00:15:20,033
Ouiser, you look like hammered shit.

237
00:15:20,278 --> 00:15:21,677
Dont you talk to me like that!

238
00:15:22,398 --> 00:15:24,434
lm sorry.
You look like regular shit.

239
00:15:24,838 --> 00:15:26,954
l have such a bone to pick with you.

240
00:15:30,878 --> 00:15:32,106
Stop egging him on.

241
00:15:32,318 --> 00:15:33,114
Come here.

242
00:15:33,478 --> 00:15:35,946
l have just come from the vet.

243
00:15:36,758 --> 00:15:37,952
Come here, Rhett.

244
00:15:38,478 --> 00:15:41,197
Whitey Black says that
all this noise...

245
00:15:41,438 --> 00:15:44,236
...youve been making around here
for the last few days...

246
00:15:44,478 --> 00:15:47,311
...has been causing a nervous
condition in my dog.

247
00:15:47,558 --> 00:15:49,992
Look at this.
All his hairs falling out.

248
00:15:51,798 --> 00:15:53,595
l gotta give this animal
tranquillizers.

249
00:15:53,838 --> 00:15:58,195
Whitey Black is a moron. lm not
even sure he has opposable thumbs.

250
00:15:58,438 --> 00:16:01,635
lf youll excuse me, lve got
a little work out in the back yard.

251
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:04,987
Hi, Miss Ouiser.

252
00:16:05,238 --> 00:16:06,591
Leave me alone.

253
00:16:06,918 --> 00:16:10,149
Now, you listen to me.
l dont know if lm coming or going.

254
00:16:10,398 --> 00:16:13,788
l heard you got so screwed up,
you cut your dog out of your will...

255
00:16:14,038 --> 00:16:16,472
...and had an ungrateful nephew
put to sleep.

256
00:16:16,718 --> 00:16:19,073
lm about at the end of my rope.

257
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:21,917
Well, tie a noose in it
and slip it over your head.

258
00:16:25,438 --> 00:16:26,553
Damn it, Ouiser.

259
00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:29,552
l dont wanna kill you.

260
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:31,472
Boys, bring me my gun!

261
00:16:31,718 --> 00:16:35,597
Dont you threaten me, Drum Eatenton,
or l will call the police.

262
00:16:35,838 --> 00:16:40,070
l gotta scare away about 5 zillion
birds before Shelbys reception.

263
00:16:40,318 --> 00:16:42,274
lf l dont, lll have to deal
with my wife.

264
00:16:42,518 --> 00:16:44,554
l make it a point never
to deal with my wife.

265
00:16:44,798 --> 00:16:47,471
That dog is on his last legs.
Whatll l do with him?

266
00:16:47,718 --> 00:16:49,595
Serve him on toast.

267
00:16:52,998 --> 00:16:54,909
Did you get those magnolias
out of my tree?

268
00:16:55,158 --> 00:16:57,797
The judge has not decided
whose tree that is exactly.

269
00:16:58,038 --> 00:16:59,357
lt is mine.

270
00:17:00,278 --> 00:17:02,838
l will speak to MLynn about this.

271
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,992
Now, are these chocolate
chips semisweet or milk?

272
00:17:08,238 --> 00:17:09,148
Theyre milk.

273
00:17:09,398 --> 00:17:11,070
ls the Karo syrup light or dark?

274
00:17:11,318 --> 00:17:12,876
lts a matter of taste.

275
00:17:13,118 --> 00:17:16,190
Wheres the other one you were
talking about?  Cuppa, Cuppa, Cuppa.

276
00:17:16,438 --> 00:17:18,474
Thats simple. You dont need
to write it down.

277
00:17:18,718 --> 00:17:22,472
Thats a cup of flour, a cup of sugar,
a cup of fruit cocktail with the juice.

278
00:17:22,718 --> 00:17:26,074
Then you mix and bake at 350
until gold and bubbly.

279
00:17:26,318 --> 00:17:27,990
-Sounds awfully rich.
-lt is.

280
00:17:28,238 --> 00:17:31,469
So l serve it over ice cream
to cut the sweetness.

281
00:17:31,758 --> 00:17:33,476
lll be right back, honey.

282
00:17:34,158 --> 00:17:36,467
MLynn, it looks like
youre ready to roll.

283
00:17:36,718 --> 00:17:39,232
And l think we can trust
Annelle here to do that.

284
00:17:39,478 --> 00:17:41,946
Her coiffure cards
in a little box on the counter.

285
00:17:42,198 --> 00:17:44,393
l dont know.
Today is a very special day.

286
00:17:44,638 --> 00:17:46,629
My work is too pouffy
when lm nervous.

287
00:17:46,878 --> 00:17:48,630
Stop that!
Youre a professional now...

288
00:17:48,878 --> 00:17:51,756
...so just get over there
and bang some hair.

289
00:17:55,118 --> 00:17:57,029
Does your dress have to go
over your head?

290
00:17:58,478 --> 00:17:59,388
No.

291
00:18:00,198 --> 00:18:01,108
Good.

292
00:18:02,478 --> 00:18:04,230
-lm sorry.
-Relax.

293
00:18:04,478 --> 00:18:05,627
You cant screw up her hair.

294
00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:08,676
Just tease it and make it look
like a brown football helmet.

295
00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:11,346
l must have missed the passage
in Emily Post that said:

296
00:18:11,598 --> 00:18:14,670
All abuse is heaped
on the mother of the bride.

297
00:18:15,358 --> 00:18:16,837
Hush, girls.

298
00:18:17,078 --> 00:18:20,070
Your mama never tells us much.
Whats Jackson like?

299
00:18:20,318 --> 00:18:21,353
Hes really cute.

300
00:18:21,598 --> 00:18:25,432
l thought he was a pest at first, but
he kind of grew on me. Now l love him.

301
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,033
You made a very good catch, Shelby.

302
00:18:28,278 --> 00:18:30,997
Louisiana lawyers do well,
whether they want to or not.

303
00:18:31,238 --> 00:18:32,432
l dont really care.

304
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,317
Dont get me wrong.
The money is real nice and all.

305
00:18:35,558 --> 00:18:38,994
But l just like the idea
of growing old with somebody.

306
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:43,393
My dream is to sit on the porch,
covered with grandchildren, saying:

307
00:18:43,638 --> 00:18:45,833
No! and Stop that!

308
00:18:46,318 --> 00:18:47,876
Will you quit your nursing job?

309
00:18:48,118 --> 00:18:49,312
Never! l love it.

310
00:18:49,558 --> 00:18:51,947
l love being around all those babies.

311
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:55,873
Drum and l both feel that she should
not work after she gets married.

312
00:18:56,118 --> 00:18:59,872
lm so anxious to discuss this topic
for the 900th time this week.

313
00:19:00,118 --> 00:19:03,997
You shouldnt be on your feet all day.
Be kind to your circulatory system.

314
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,429
You know what you need in here, Truvy?

315
00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:07,872
You need a radio.

316
00:19:08,118 --> 00:19:10,188
Music is a wonderful thing
in the background.

317
00:19:10,438 --> 00:19:13,953
lt takes the pressure off everybody
feeling they have to talk so much.

318
00:19:14,198 --> 00:19:16,996
l used to have one, but l
slammed it against the wall...

319
00:19:17,238 --> 00:19:19,672
...when l couldnt figure out
where the batteries went.

320
00:19:19,918 --> 00:19:24,230
Of course, l know now l was suffering
from premenstrual syndrome.

321
00:19:25,238 --> 00:19:27,274
Radio? What did l just hear--?

322
00:19:27,518 --> 00:19:28,667
Oh, yes.

323
00:19:29,238 --> 00:19:32,628
The Antilley family is selling KPPD.

324
00:19:33,118 --> 00:19:35,712
l wonder how much radio stations
sell for.

325
00:19:35,958 --> 00:19:37,073
Miss Clairee.

326
00:19:37,318 --> 00:19:40,071
You should buy KPPD.
You got plenty of money.

327
00:19:40,318 --> 00:19:42,195
What would l do with a radio station?

328
00:19:42,438 --> 00:19:46,113
Business never interested me.
Lloyd took care of that stuff.

329
00:19:47,398 --> 00:19:50,595
l hope you and Jackson will be
as happy as Lloyd and l were.

330
00:19:50,838 --> 00:19:53,306
We had such a good time.

331
00:19:53,798 --> 00:19:55,356
Until November.

332
00:19:57,398 --> 00:19:59,787
At least he hung on through
the state playoffs.

333
00:20:00,038 --> 00:20:02,916
Miss Clairee, there are still
good times to be had.

334
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,429
l really do love football.

335
00:20:07,798 --> 00:20:11,188
But its hard to parlay that
into a reason to live.

336
00:20:12,518 --> 00:20:13,951
What are your colours, Shelby?

337
00:20:14,198 --> 00:20:16,393
Theyre  blush and  bashful.

338
00:20:16,718 --> 00:20:18,868
Her colours are  pink and  pink.

339
00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:22,076
My colours are blush and bashful, Mama.

340
00:20:22,318 --> 00:20:24,786
How precious is this wedding
gonna get, l ask you?

341
00:20:25,038 --> 00:20:28,269
My colours are blush and bashful.
l have chosen two shades of pink.

342
00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:30,156
One is much deeper than the other.

343
00:20:30,398 --> 00:20:33,754
But the bridesmaids dresses,
they are really beautiful.

344
00:20:34,038 --> 00:20:36,347
Ceremony will be too.

345
00:20:36,638 --> 00:20:39,630
The walls are banked with sprays
of flowers in my two shades...

346
00:20:39,878 --> 00:20:41,357
...of blush and bashful.

347
00:20:41,598 --> 00:20:45,989
Pink carpets specially laid out for
my service, and pink silk bunting...

348
00:20:46,238 --> 00:20:48,388
...draped over anything
that would stand still.

349
00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:51,391
lt looks like its been
hosed down with Pepto-Bismol.

350
00:20:51,638 --> 00:20:54,994
l like pink. Pink is
my signature colour.

351
00:20:55,358 --> 00:20:56,427
How many bridesmaids?

352
00:20:56,958 --> 00:21:00,075
-Nine.
-Nine? Good Lord.

353
00:21:00,318 --> 00:21:03,913
Exactly. Mama made me have my cousins
and Margie St. Maurice.

354
00:21:04,158 --> 00:21:07,548
Lets not go into this now.
You know there was no way around it.

355
00:21:07,798 --> 00:21:09,117
lt will be pretentious.

356
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:12,794
Daddy says, An ounce of pretension
is worth a pound of manure.

357
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:15,233
The poet laureate of Dogwood Lane.

358
00:21:15,478 --> 00:21:17,389
Mama, l wish youd get off
Daddys back.

359
00:21:17,638 --> 00:21:20,311
-l dont wanna get into--
-Fill us in on the reception.

360
00:21:21,438 --> 00:21:23,713
My reception! My reception!

361
00:21:23,958 --> 00:21:28,668
Ferns, dancing, tons of people! Every
pink flower west of the Mississippi.

362
00:21:28,918 --> 00:21:31,910
Wedding cake in the dining room
and the grooms cake....

363
00:21:32,398 --> 00:21:34,195
Hidden in the carport?

364
00:21:34,838 --> 00:21:36,988
Shelby and l, we agree on one thing.

365
00:21:37,238 --> 00:21:38,671
The grooms cake.

366
00:21:39,838 --> 00:21:41,191
lts awful.

367
00:21:41,558 --> 00:21:44,118
lts in the shape
of a giant armadillo.

368
00:21:44,358 --> 00:21:47,236
An armadillo? Youre joking, right?

369
00:21:47,478 --> 00:21:51,676
No. Jackson wanted a cake in the shape
of an armadillo. His aunt makes them.

370
00:21:51,918 --> 00:21:52,987
lts unusual.

371
00:21:53,238 --> 00:21:54,432
lts repulsive.

372
00:21:54,678 --> 00:21:56,430
lts got grey icing.

373
00:21:56,678 --> 00:21:59,397
l cant even begin to think
how youd make grey icing.

374
00:21:59,638 --> 00:22:03,597
Worse, the cake part is
red velvet cake. Blood red.

375
00:22:03,838 --> 00:22:07,911
People will hack into this poor animal
that looks like its bleeding to death.

376
00:22:08,158 --> 00:22:10,194
The rehearsal supper was
a real experience.

377
00:22:10,438 --> 00:22:12,429
Mama, it wasnt that bad.

378
00:22:12,758 --> 00:22:15,147
lt was out at Jacksons
uncles place on the river.

379
00:22:15,438 --> 00:22:17,349
He comes from a good
old Southern family...

380
00:22:17,558 --> 00:22:20,789
...with good old Southern values.
You shoot it, stuff it or marry it.

381
00:22:21,838 --> 00:22:23,749
Theyre simply outdoorsy, thats all.

382
00:22:23,998 --> 00:22:26,956
Did yall do anything
especially romantic?

383
00:22:27,198 --> 00:22:30,349
We drove down to Frenchmens Point
and went parking.

384
00:22:31,478 --> 00:22:33,833
Oh, Shelby. Really!

385
00:22:34,238 --> 00:22:37,196
MLynn, leave her alone.
This is my favourite part.

386
00:22:37,398 --> 00:22:41,073
This is the romantic part. See,
thats what really melts my butter.

387
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:45,789
Then we went skinny dipping, and we did
things that frightened the fish.

388
00:22:46,038 --> 00:22:48,871
lts been a long time since weve had
a youngster in this place.

389
00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:51,074
We talked and talked and talked....

390
00:22:51,318 --> 00:22:55,516
l love those kind of talks
in the arms of the man you love.

391
00:22:55,838 --> 00:22:57,874
Actually, we fought most of the time.

392
00:22:58,118 --> 00:22:59,471
You fought?

393
00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:01,630
l told him l wouldnt marry him.

394
00:23:02,438 --> 00:23:03,234
What?

395
00:23:03,798 --> 00:23:05,470
Whyd you go do a thing like that?

396
00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:08,152
lts okay now. We worked it all out.

397
00:23:08,878 --> 00:23:12,314
lts probably just one of those
last-minute jitter things.

398
00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:14,310
No, but the weddings still on.

399
00:23:14,558 --> 00:23:15,786
Well, thank goodness.

400
00:23:16,038 --> 00:23:19,917
Because this is going
in the Hairdo Hall of Fame.

401
00:23:20,158 --> 00:23:23,594
Shelby, you scared us. That wasnt
a nice thing to do to your mama.

402
00:23:23,838 --> 00:23:27,626
Never say that to a woman whos
marinating 50 pounds of crab claws.

403
00:23:28,478 --> 00:23:31,515
But the making up can be so romantic.

404
00:23:33,238 --> 00:23:35,069
l miss romance so much.

405
00:23:35,318 --> 00:23:37,627
Truvy, it cant be that bad.

406
00:23:37,878 --> 00:23:38,788
Oh, really, now?

407
00:23:39,038 --> 00:23:42,917
The last romantic thing my husband
did for me was back in 1 97 2.

408
00:23:43,158 --> 00:23:46,116
He enclosed this carport
so l could support him.

409
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:49,156
l think l have something
that could cheer you up.

410
00:23:49,398 --> 00:23:52,947
Drum and l plan to talk to your husband
about adding on to our house.

411
00:23:53,198 --> 00:23:54,347
MLynn, are you serious?

412
00:23:54,598 --> 00:23:57,271
lf you give Spud a job,
lll give you hot oil treatments...

413
00:23:57,518 --> 00:23:59,474
...for the rest of your life!

414
00:24:00,798 --> 00:24:04,154
Annelle, this looks pretty good.
l think you know what youre doing.

415
00:24:04,398 --> 00:24:05,592
Thank you.

416
00:24:05,838 --> 00:24:08,033
Mrs. Eatenton, you have great hair.

417
00:24:08,278 --> 00:24:10,997
-Your scalps as clean as a whistle.
-l try.

418
00:24:11,238 --> 00:24:12,387
lt must run in the family.

419
00:24:12,638 --> 00:24:16,916
This younguns got the prettiest hair
lve ever had my hands in. So thick.

420
00:24:17,158 --> 00:24:20,434
Just because lm bragging on you
dont mean you can get lazy on me.

421
00:24:20,678 --> 00:24:21,474
Stop it.

422
00:24:21,678 --> 00:24:22,508
Shelby?

423
00:24:23,198 --> 00:24:25,029
Shelby! MLynn!

424
00:24:26,838 --> 00:24:28,635
lll get some juice.

425
00:24:30,198 --> 00:24:31,677
Theres some candy in my purse.

426
00:24:31,918 --> 00:24:33,829
l have some right here.

427
00:24:35,158 --> 00:24:36,591
Shelby. Shelby.

428
00:24:36,838 --> 00:24:39,272
Hold on. Clairees
getting you some juice.

429
00:24:40,638 --> 00:24:41,866
-Should l get her a cookie?
-No.

430
00:24:42,198 --> 00:24:42,994
Juice is better.

431
00:24:44,358 --> 00:24:45,473
Heres the juice.

432
00:24:46,638 --> 00:24:48,993
You need some juice.
You need some juice.

433
00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:51,069
-Stop it, Mama.
-Drink the juice.

434
00:24:51,318 --> 00:24:53,149
-Please drink the juice.
-No!

435
00:24:53,398 --> 00:24:55,548
Stop it! l have
some candy in my purse.

436
00:24:55,798 --> 00:24:57,311
You didnt bring your purse.

437
00:24:57,558 --> 00:24:59,435
You didnt bring your purse.
No, you didnt.

438
00:24:59,678 --> 00:25:01,634
No, here you go. There you go.

439
00:25:01,878 --> 00:25:03,391
Drink some of this.

440
00:25:04,958 --> 00:25:06,357
lts not any wonder...

441
00:25:06,598 --> 00:25:09,112
...with all this running around
and wedding nonsense.

442
00:25:09,918 --> 00:25:12,955
Excuse me. Should l call
the doctor or something?

443
00:25:13,198 --> 00:25:14,187
Shes a diabetic.

444
00:25:14,438 --> 00:25:16,872
She just has a little too much
insulin, thats all.

445
00:25:17,118 --> 00:25:19,632
Well get a little more in her.
Shell be all right.

446
00:25:20,118 --> 00:25:22,586
lf you dont leave me alone,
lm gonna leave.

447
00:25:22,838 --> 00:25:25,955
ld love to see you try.
Cooperate, please.

448
00:25:26,198 --> 00:25:27,870
Honey, drink. Please.

449
00:25:28,118 --> 00:25:29,631
Come on, now. Thattagirl.

450
00:25:29,878 --> 00:25:31,436
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

451
00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:33,711
There you go. There you go.

452
00:25:33,958 --> 00:25:35,949
There, there. Thats a start.

453
00:25:36,198 --> 00:25:38,314
This one hit her fast.

454
00:25:38,638 --> 00:25:40,868
Shes been so upset lately.

455
00:25:41,838 --> 00:25:44,557
Dr. Mitchell told her
on her last appointment...

456
00:25:46,238 --> 00:25:47,591
...children arent possible.

457
00:25:49,558 --> 00:25:52,436
Dont talk about me like lm not here.

458
00:25:54,718 --> 00:25:57,596
Shes making some sense now.
Yes, she is.

459
00:25:58,438 --> 00:26:01,430
This one was not bad at all.
lt was not bad at all.

460
00:26:01,678 --> 00:26:04,033
l think we need
a little more juice.

461
00:26:04,278 --> 00:26:05,996
Could l do something to help?

462
00:26:06,238 --> 00:26:07,273
No, no.

463
00:26:07,518 --> 00:26:09,349
Shell be fine.
Dont fuss over her.

464
00:26:09,598 --> 00:26:11,316
Normalitys very important to Shelby.

465
00:26:11,558 --> 00:26:12,991
-Here, MLynn.
-Thanks.

466
00:26:13,558 --> 00:26:16,356
lm really sorry about
the children part, MLynn.

467
00:26:16,598 --> 00:26:17,667
l know.

468
00:26:17,958 --> 00:26:21,473
Shes afraid Jackson will be throwing
away his chance to have children.

469
00:26:23,838 --> 00:26:25,237
Jackson said:

470
00:26:26,598 --> 00:26:28,873
Shelby, dont be stupid.

471
00:26:29,518 --> 00:26:32,237
Theres plenty of kids out there
need good homes.

472
00:26:32,478 --> 00:26:33,593
Drink some.

473
00:26:36,718 --> 00:26:40,233
Well adopt 1 0 of them.
Well buy them if we have to.

474
00:26:40,558 --> 00:26:42,833
Jackson sounds like good people to me.

475
00:26:51,478 --> 00:26:54,515
-Mama, lm sorry.
-Thats all right, honey.

476
00:26:54,758 --> 00:26:57,397
lts all right.
lts all over now. lts all--

477
00:26:57,638 --> 00:26:59,230
You hold your juice.

478
00:27:00,438 --> 00:27:01,268
lts all over.

479
00:27:01,518 --> 00:27:03,634
Hold your juice, all right?

480
00:27:05,518 --> 00:27:06,712
You all right?

481
00:27:07,758 --> 00:27:09,635
-Truvy, lm sorry.
-lll fix it.

482
00:27:10,278 --> 00:27:12,030
Well fix it.

483
00:27:20,998 --> 00:27:23,353
-What did l do with my gun?
-Whered you leave it?

484
00:27:23,598 --> 00:27:25,236
How the hell do l know?

485
00:27:27,118 --> 00:27:29,586
Come on, we have work to do.
Daylights burning.

486
00:27:29,998 --> 00:27:31,829
Were gonna get rid of some birds!

487
00:27:37,918 --> 00:27:40,113
-Got the arrows, Daddy.
-All right.

488
00:27:40,878 --> 00:27:42,675
Look here. Look here.

489
00:27:44,958 --> 00:27:48,109
-l got the targets.
-Were not going target shooting.

490
00:27:49,718 --> 00:27:52,073
Miss Clairee, what cute shoes!

491
00:27:52,318 --> 00:27:53,353
You think so?

492
00:27:53,598 --> 00:27:55,554
lm not so sure myself.

493
00:27:56,038 --> 00:27:57,949
They seem a little too racy for me.

494
00:27:58,198 --> 00:27:59,392
lll probably give them away.

495
00:27:59,638 --> 00:28:01,594
Theyre just too cha-cha for words.

496
00:28:01,838 --> 00:28:03,988
lf you decide to get rid of them,
lll buy them.

497
00:28:04,238 --> 00:28:05,148
What size you wear?

498
00:28:05,398 --> 00:28:09,710
ln a good shoe, l wear a size 6.
But a 7 feels so good, l buy a size 8.

499
00:28:09,958 --> 00:28:12,108
-Theyre 8 1 /2.
-Perfect.

500
00:28:12,558 --> 00:28:14,116
Lord, give us strength!

501
00:28:15,998 --> 00:28:17,317
Come here, Rhett!

502
00:28:18,518 --> 00:28:21,237
That is one ugly dog.
What kind of dog is that?

503
00:28:21,478 --> 00:28:23,753
lf it had hair,
itd be a Saint Bernard.

504
00:28:24,678 --> 00:28:27,192
This is it. l have found it.
l am in hell.

505
00:28:27,558 --> 00:28:28,627
Good morning, Ouiser.

506
00:28:28,838 --> 00:28:31,955
Dont try to get on my good side,
Truvy. l no longer have one.

507
00:28:32,198 --> 00:28:34,428
-Come here, Rhett.
-Youre a little early.

508
00:28:34,678 --> 00:28:38,796
That is precisely why lm here. lve
gotta talk to MLynn about her husband.

509
00:28:39,398 --> 00:28:42,037
He is a boil on the butt of humanity.

510
00:28:42,278 --> 00:28:44,997
lm sorry. This whole thing
has gotten out of hand.

511
00:28:45,238 --> 00:28:46,910
lts not your fault, MLynn.

512
00:28:47,518 --> 00:28:49,952
l used to think you were crazy
for marrying that man.

513
00:28:50,198 --> 00:28:52,871
Then l thought you
were a glutton for punishment.

514
00:28:53,318 --> 00:28:56,594
Now l realize you must be
on some mission from God.

515
00:28:56,838 --> 00:29:01,593
Daddy isnt trying to drive you crazy.
Hes trying to make my reception nice.

516
00:29:01,838 --> 00:29:03,715
His hearts in the right place.

517
00:29:03,958 --> 00:29:07,507
Ouiser, l know for a fact there
will be no more gunshots.

518
00:29:07,758 --> 00:29:09,828
But he was gonna fire a gun at me.

519
00:29:10,158 --> 00:29:13,833
Theyre blanks. Drum would never,
ever point a gun at a lady.

520
00:29:14,798 --> 00:29:15,867
Hes a real gentleman.

521
00:29:16,118 --> 00:29:19,110
l bet he takes the dishes out
of the sink before he pees in it.

522
00:29:27,718 --> 00:29:29,276
Who the hell are you?

523
00:29:32,678 --> 00:29:34,396
-Ouiser, this is my new--
-Fine.

524
00:29:34,638 --> 00:29:36,549
Now, l know everybody in this town.

525
00:29:36,798 --> 00:29:39,517
And l dont recall
having seen you before.

526
00:29:40,358 --> 00:29:42,667
l just moved into town
not too long ago.

527
00:29:42,918 --> 00:29:44,431
With your family?

528
00:29:45,358 --> 00:29:46,791
l dont have any family.

529
00:29:47,038 --> 00:29:48,630
Your husband?

530
00:29:50,958 --> 00:29:52,152
My husband?

531
00:29:52,398 --> 00:29:53,387
Yes.

532
00:29:55,038 --> 00:29:57,188
Thats kind of hard to say.

533
00:29:59,198 --> 00:30:00,108
l dont know.

534
00:30:00,358 --> 00:30:01,586
You dont know?

535
00:30:02,478 --> 00:30:03,752
Well, lm not sure.

536
00:30:04,558 --> 00:30:05,673
Youre not sure?

537
00:30:05,918 --> 00:30:10,434
lm intrigued. Are you married or not?
These are not difficult questions.

538
00:30:18,198 --> 00:30:19,392
l cant talk about it.

539
00:30:19,638 --> 00:30:20,866
Of course you can.

540
00:30:23,398 --> 00:30:27,277
Well, lm not sure if lm married
or not. Hes gone.

541
00:30:27,518 --> 00:30:31,716
Men are the most horrible creatures,
honey. They will ruin your life.

542
00:30:32,278 --> 00:30:33,711
Everything is horrible.

543
00:30:34,478 --> 00:30:37,675
Bunkie, thats my husband,
he just vanished last week.

544
00:30:37,918 --> 00:30:40,591
He took all the money,
my jewellery, the car.

545
00:30:40,838 --> 00:30:42,749
Most of my clothes were in the trunk.

546
00:30:42,998 --> 00:30:44,875
Hes in big trouble with the law.

547
00:30:46,118 --> 00:30:47,471
Drugs or something.

548
00:30:48,398 --> 00:30:52,232
The police keep questioning me,
but l dont know anything.

549
00:30:52,558 --> 00:30:55,152
They say that our marriage
may not be legal.

550
00:30:55,918 --> 00:30:58,432
l wish youd have said something.

551
00:30:59,238 --> 00:31:02,389
l was scared to.
l need a job in the worst way.

552
00:31:02,638 --> 00:31:06,028
l didnt know if youd hire someone
who may or may not be married...

553
00:31:06,278 --> 00:31:09,031
...to someone who might be
a dangerous criminal.

554
00:31:09,278 --> 00:31:12,429
But, Miss Truvy, l swear to you
that my personal tragedy...

555
00:31:12,678 --> 00:31:15,397
...will not interfere with
my ability to do good hair.

556
00:31:15,678 --> 00:31:17,475
Of course it wont.

557
00:31:18,918 --> 00:31:20,988
l dont think things
could get any worse.

558
00:31:21,358 --> 00:31:22,586
Of course they can.

559
00:31:22,838 --> 00:31:24,317
We are awful.

560
00:31:24,598 --> 00:31:26,907
We are all hateful, awful people.

561
00:31:27,158 --> 00:31:30,867
Here, all weve been talking about
is weddings and psychotic animals.

562
00:31:31,078 --> 00:31:32,796
What can we do to help?

563
00:31:33,038 --> 00:31:34,312
l know one thing l can do.

564
00:31:34,678 --> 00:31:38,148
Today youll drop by my house
and have some bleeding armadillo cake.

565
00:31:38,398 --> 00:31:39,308
Oh, yes, you must.

566
00:31:39,558 --> 00:31:40,627
l couldnt.

567
00:31:40,878 --> 00:31:43,267
l still get real emotional sometimes.

568
00:31:43,518 --> 00:31:46,555
Not today, you wont. lt is going
to be a great party.

569
00:31:47,598 --> 00:31:49,554
l dont have anything to wear.

570
00:31:49,918 --> 00:31:53,433
No problem. l bet l have something
thatll do. lll call the house.

571
00:31:54,678 --> 00:31:55,713
Thanks.

572
00:31:59,398 --> 00:32:00,228
All right.

573
00:32:00,438 --> 00:32:01,666
Load me up.

574
00:32:04,878 --> 00:32:05,674
Ready?

575
00:32:05,878 --> 00:32:06,913
All right.

576
00:32:07,158 --> 00:32:08,227
Ready.

577
00:32:08,678 --> 00:32:09,872
All right.

578
00:32:10,198 --> 00:32:12,428
Are you ready?
Stand back. Here we go!

579
00:32:22,438 --> 00:32:24,269
What the hell is that?

580
00:32:30,478 --> 00:32:32,196
Got them right between the legs!

581
00:32:32,438 --> 00:32:34,269
All right, you nailed them!

582
00:32:37,718 --> 00:32:40,869
l hope no one was hurt.
Shelby, get my things.

583
00:32:48,798 --> 00:32:51,312
Miss Ouiser, that dog
will eat Daddy alive!

584
00:32:53,358 --> 00:32:55,633
Ouiser, talk to your dog!
Hell listen to you!

585
00:32:55,878 --> 00:32:58,346
-lts my wedding day!
-Say something to your dog!

586
00:32:58,598 --> 00:33:00,316
Kill, Rhett! Kill!

587
00:33:00,558 --> 00:33:02,355
Daddy, what happened?

588
00:33:02,598 --> 00:33:04,350
Bite him in the balls!

589
00:33:41,358 --> 00:33:42,507
Sorry.

590
00:34:03,798 --> 00:34:04,867
lm sorry.

591
00:34:09,038 --> 00:34:09,993
Now.

592
00:34:11,318 --> 00:34:12,273
Shelby.

593
00:34:14,038 --> 00:34:16,108
Shelby, its time.

594
00:34:16,718 --> 00:34:17,594
Daddy.

595
00:34:17,838 --> 00:34:19,191
lts time.

596
00:34:19,838 --> 00:34:21,749
Daddy, its time.

597
00:34:22,278 --> 00:34:24,473
-lts time!
-lts time?

598
00:35:29,198 --> 00:35:31,632
Who gives this woman in marriage?

599
00:35:33,278 --> 00:35:35,234
Her mother and l do.

600
00:35:41,678 --> 00:35:43,316
Dearly beloved....

601
00:35:56,558 --> 00:35:58,867
This has been the happiest day
of my life, Daddy.

602
00:35:59,118 --> 00:36:00,915
lm glad, sugar.

603
00:36:01,198 --> 00:36:02,677
lm not talking too loud, am l?

604
00:36:02,918 --> 00:36:04,271
No, youre fine.

605
00:36:05,718 --> 00:36:07,868
Shelby loves you very much.

606
00:36:08,838 --> 00:36:10,271
l hope so.

607
00:36:10,518 --> 00:36:12,907
Cost me 60 bucks to rent this sucker.

608
00:36:13,678 --> 00:36:15,475
lm being serious.

609
00:36:15,718 --> 00:36:16,707
So am l.

610
00:36:16,958 --> 00:36:18,789
l got the receipt right here.

611
00:36:20,718 --> 00:36:22,549
Could l say this, please?

612
00:36:25,318 --> 00:36:26,910
Shelby is so happy.

613
00:36:29,038 --> 00:36:30,949
l know when youre young...

614
00:36:31,358 --> 00:36:34,794
...it seems like everything will always
be perfect. Maybe it will be.

615
00:36:37,558 --> 00:36:41,710
Promise to think about it before you
make any big decisions about family.

616
00:36:41,958 --> 00:36:43,550
l know what youre saying.

617
00:36:45,558 --> 00:36:46,593
Good.

618
00:37:17,558 --> 00:37:18,957
What can l get you?

619
00:37:19,438 --> 00:37:20,632
Nothing. No, thanks.

620
00:37:20,878 --> 00:37:22,675
You sure? lts free.

621
00:37:24,598 --> 00:37:26,111
Come on, whatll it be?

622
00:37:26,798 --> 00:37:28,277
A cherry Coke.

623
00:37:29,118 --> 00:37:30,028
Sure.

624
00:37:33,558 --> 00:37:36,118
So are you a friend of the bride
or the groom?

625
00:37:36,358 --> 00:37:37,188
Neither.

626
00:37:38,198 --> 00:37:40,268
Shelby invited me.

627
00:37:40,638 --> 00:37:42,435
l dont know why lm here.

628
00:37:42,678 --> 00:37:43,952
lm Sammy.

629
00:37:44,718 --> 00:37:47,755
This is the best cherry Coke
in the history of the world.

630
00:37:58,958 --> 00:38:00,437
Can l help you, sir?

631
00:38:06,958 --> 00:38:08,277
That Jackson...

632
00:38:08,518 --> 00:38:10,270
...he is one big hanging man.

633
00:38:10,518 --> 00:38:11,712
Yes, l know.

634
00:38:11,958 --> 00:38:13,949
Nancy Beth, come along.

635
00:38:14,598 --> 00:38:15,872
Calories, calories.

636
00:38:16,118 --> 00:38:17,836
Calories, calories.

637
00:38:18,358 --> 00:38:19,996
l dont like Belle Marmillion.

638
00:38:20,238 --> 00:38:23,628
l dont trust anybody that does
their own hair. Thats not normal.

639
00:38:23,878 --> 00:38:26,312
Shes our best volunteer
at the Mental Guidance Centre.

640
00:38:26,558 --> 00:38:28,310
Shes so good with troubled children.

641
00:38:28,558 --> 00:38:30,947
Wish l had taken Louie there
when he was little.

642
00:38:31,198 --> 00:38:32,711
l shouldve known he had problems...

643
00:38:32,958 --> 00:38:35,347
...when his imaginary playmates
wouldnt play with him.

644
00:38:35,598 --> 00:38:38,317
Your boy grew up fine.
Hes just a little scary, thats all.

645
00:38:38,558 --> 00:38:42,870
l think itd be fun to have access to
all that secret, personal information.

646
00:38:43,118 --> 00:38:46,952
Come on, MLynn. Wont you tell me
some of your most bizarre cases?

647
00:38:47,198 --> 00:38:49,587
Let me see if l can
figure out who they are.

648
00:38:49,838 --> 00:38:52,068
Theres some pretty sick tickets
in this town.

649
00:38:52,318 --> 00:38:53,956
lll do no such thing.
Cut that out.

650
00:38:54,198 --> 00:38:55,347
You old fuddy-duddy.

651
00:39:08,118 --> 00:39:09,710
lm not speaking to you.

652
00:39:10,638 --> 00:39:12,196
What a shame.

653
00:39:12,478 --> 00:39:13,911
l mean it, Drum.

654
00:39:14,638 --> 00:39:17,755
Can we call a truce long enough
for me to get a piece of cake?

655
00:39:25,998 --> 00:39:27,147
Thanks.

656
00:39:27,598 --> 00:39:29,828
Nothing like a good piece of ass.

657
00:39:33,038 --> 00:39:36,951
ld rather walk on my lips
than to criticize anybody.

658
00:39:37,718 --> 00:39:38,673
But...

659
00:39:39,198 --> 00:39:40,347
...Janice van Meter....

660
00:39:40,598 --> 00:39:41,553
l know.

661
00:39:41,798 --> 00:39:44,676
lll bet you money she paid $500
for that dress...

662
00:39:44,918 --> 00:39:46,829
...and dont even bother
to wear a girdle.

663
00:39:47,198 --> 00:39:50,474
Looks like two pigs fighting
under a blanket.

664
00:39:53,158 --> 00:39:57,470
l havent left the house without Lycra
on these thighs since l was 1 4.

665
00:39:57,718 --> 00:39:59,151
You were brought up right.

666
00:39:59,398 --> 00:40:02,117
Congratulations, Drum.
Fantastic party.

667
00:40:05,918 --> 00:40:08,478
Ouiser, theres someone
ld like you to meet.

668
00:40:08,998 --> 00:40:10,431
That looks like an autopsy.

669
00:40:10,678 --> 00:40:13,715
This is Jacksons
Aunt Fern Thornton...

670
00:40:14,198 --> 00:40:15,916
...from Alexandria.

671
00:40:16,358 --> 00:40:17,837
She made the cake.

672
00:40:18,718 --> 00:40:19,787
You did this?

673
00:40:20,038 --> 00:40:20,993
Guilty.

674
00:40:21,758 --> 00:40:25,353
But its very simple, really.
lt just takes patience.

675
00:40:25,838 --> 00:40:27,396
You only do armadillos?

676
00:40:27,638 --> 00:40:29,196
No, l can do anything.

677
00:40:29,438 --> 00:40:30,587
Except snakes.

678
00:40:30,838 --> 00:40:32,874
l dont have the counter space.

679
00:41:55,438 --> 00:41:56,427
Mama.

680
00:41:57,558 --> 00:41:58,752
Help me.

681
00:42:09,798 --> 00:42:10,947
Well, this is it.

682
00:42:11,198 --> 00:42:12,870
Youre finally rid of me.

683
00:42:14,918 --> 00:42:17,273
l think youll be back
every now and then.

684
00:42:19,358 --> 00:42:22,430
Corsages are pretty stupid
when you think about it, arent they?

685
00:42:22,958 --> 00:42:25,518
You make Jackson Latcherie
take good care of you.

686
00:42:26,918 --> 00:42:29,227
Mama, Jackson will take care of me.

687
00:42:29,558 --> 00:42:31,389
And lll take care of him.

688
00:42:32,718 --> 00:42:34,515
And lm not stupid.

689
00:42:36,518 --> 00:42:38,236
lll get my bags.

690
00:43:06,158 --> 00:43:08,752
Well, the boys just brought
the car around.

691
00:43:09,118 --> 00:43:10,790
What did they do to it?

692
00:43:12,998 --> 00:43:14,989
Let me put it this way.

693
00:43:15,758 --> 00:43:18,318
lf you and Jackson want
to practice safe sex...

694
00:43:18,558 --> 00:43:19,673
...youre all set.

695
00:44:04,438 --> 00:44:06,349
Truvy, are you leaving so early?

696
00:44:06,598 --> 00:44:08,987
lll have some sweet dreams
with this under my pillow.

697
00:44:09,238 --> 00:44:11,115
Tell your husband l hope
he feels better.

698
00:44:11,358 --> 00:44:12,268
Hes gonna be fine.

699
00:44:12,518 --> 00:44:14,110
-Say hello to Spud.
-lll do it.

700
00:44:14,358 --> 00:44:17,475
lm sure hes sorry he missed all this.
lt was a beautiful wedding.

701
00:44:17,718 --> 00:44:19,674
-Thanks, Truvy.
-Thanks a lot. Bye.

702
00:44:19,918 --> 00:44:21,317
You leaving so soon?

703
00:44:43,438 --> 00:44:44,268
Hi.

704
00:44:44,678 --> 00:44:45,633
Hello.

705
00:44:48,718 --> 00:44:51,186
Would you like a ride?

706
00:44:55,278 --> 00:44:57,109
l have new shoes.

707
00:44:57,478 --> 00:44:59,196
l have to break them in.

708
00:45:04,238 --> 00:45:06,468
-Good night.
-Keep her away from me.

709
00:45:06,718 --> 00:45:07,946
Stop it.

710
00:45:08,678 --> 00:45:10,669
Walk me home, Clairee.

711
00:45:10,918 --> 00:45:12,237
You just live over there.

712
00:45:12,478 --> 00:45:14,673
l dont wanna walk
in that house by myself.

713
00:45:14,918 --> 00:45:18,911
You watch the evening news. You know
what kind of world were living in.

714
00:45:19,158 --> 00:45:21,877
-Walk me home.
-Whos gonna walk me home?

715
00:45:22,118 --> 00:45:23,471
Youve got the flashlight.

716
00:45:23,718 --> 00:45:25,913
-My cars parked over there.
-Come on, l wanna--

717
00:45:26,158 --> 00:45:29,150
This is ridiculous! Youre only
a few feet away from here.

718
00:45:29,398 --> 00:45:30,353
Follow me.

719
00:45:30,598 --> 00:45:34,068
Youre acting like a child. The older
you get, the sillier you get.

720
00:45:34,318 --> 00:45:36,991
And the older you get,
the uglier you get.

721
00:45:57,318 --> 00:46:01,630
And last, but never least,
Santas most beautiful helper...

722
00:46:01,878 --> 00:46:06,394
...this years Miss Merry Christmas,
Nancy Beth Marmillion!

723
00:46:13,118 --> 00:46:16,315
Get it while the gettings good!
Best food in Louisiana!

724
00:46:16,558 --> 00:46:21,234
Blood, sweat and tears go in every
little bowlful. Right, boys?

725
00:46:21,478 --> 00:46:22,831
Thats right, Truvy.

726
00:46:24,598 --> 00:46:26,190
One, two, three, four.

727
00:46:26,438 --> 00:46:27,553
Shelby!

728
00:46:27,878 --> 00:46:30,346
Get your little country
butt over here.

729
00:46:30,598 --> 00:46:34,511
Were you trying to sneak by us without
buying some of our jumbo shrimp?

730
00:46:34,758 --> 00:46:36,953
Theyre hot and spicy,
just like Annelle.

731
00:46:37,198 --> 00:46:38,153
Stop!

732
00:46:38,478 --> 00:46:41,436
Try one. Weve already pulled
their little heads off them.

733
00:46:41,918 --> 00:46:46,434
lm just killing time. Jacksons found
a firearm. We may never see him again.

734
00:46:46,678 --> 00:46:49,317
How about some iced tea?
lts the house wine of the South.

735
00:46:49,638 --> 00:46:51,708
-Perfect.
-Oh, coming up.

736
00:46:51,958 --> 00:46:54,472
Your mamas happy you got
home in time for the festival.

737
00:46:54,718 --> 00:46:57,790
l wouldnt miss the festival for
the world. Hows your family?

738
00:46:58,358 --> 00:47:01,270
Fine. Spuds as outgoing as ever.

739
00:47:01,718 --> 00:47:05,313
Louie brought his girlfriend home.
The nicest thing l can say about her...

740
00:47:05,558 --> 00:47:07,753
...is all her tattoos
are spelled correctly.

741
00:47:07,998 --> 00:47:08,794
Truvy!

742
00:47:09,038 --> 00:47:10,994
-Get your money away.
-Thanks.

743
00:47:12,798 --> 00:47:17,235
My hairs not the only thing thats
changed. So much has happened.

744
00:47:17,478 --> 00:47:21,471
After they finally put Bunkie Dupuy
behind bars and l was rid of him...

745
00:47:21,718 --> 00:47:25,552
...l went wild. l was running around,
drinking, smoking--

746
00:47:25,798 --> 00:47:26,947
Jezebel!

747
00:47:27,478 --> 00:47:31,357
Truvy helped me see the error of my
ways. She gave me a place to live.

748
00:47:31,598 --> 00:47:36,069
l go to church. lve done guest
lectures on beauty at the trade school.

749
00:47:36,318 --> 00:47:39,993
Our little Annelle here has become
one of the hottest tickets in town.

750
00:47:40,238 --> 00:47:41,432
lts true.

751
00:47:41,918 --> 00:47:46,355
l am enjoying the city more, and lm so
excited about this Christmas festival.

752
00:47:46,598 --> 00:47:48,714
Theres a Messiah sing-along tomorrow.

753
00:47:49,358 --> 00:47:52,236
-Whats the matter?
-Nobody move! Nobody move!

754
00:47:52,478 --> 00:47:53,877
My contact!

755
00:47:54,678 --> 00:47:56,714
-Stay back. Stay back.
-Dont move!

756
00:47:56,958 --> 00:47:58,186
Can you back up, please?

757
00:47:58,438 --> 00:47:59,757
Hello, darlings!

758
00:47:59,998 --> 00:48:01,590
When did you get into town?

759
00:48:01,838 --> 00:48:03,237
This afternoon.

760
00:48:03,558 --> 00:48:04,957
Here. Merry Christmas.

761
00:48:05,198 --> 00:48:08,429
lm showing Jackson everything.
Hes never been to the festival.

762
00:48:08,638 --> 00:48:10,913
Make sure you listen
to the football game tonight.

763
00:48:11,158 --> 00:48:12,386
What are we listening for?

764
00:48:12,638 --> 00:48:15,198
Me. lm a working gal now.
Didnt your mama tell you?

765
00:48:15,438 --> 00:48:17,394
Mama never tells anyone anything.

766
00:48:17,638 --> 00:48:20,232
lm the colour announcer
for the Devils. lm fabulous.

767
00:48:20,478 --> 00:48:22,708
lm just too colourful for words.

768
00:48:22,958 --> 00:48:24,516
Nice of them to let you
on the radio.

769
00:48:24,758 --> 00:48:28,353
Nice, nothing.
l own the radio station.

770
00:48:28,598 --> 00:48:29,747
-You bought it?
-Yes.

771
00:48:29,998 --> 00:48:31,317
KPPD...

772
00:48:31,598 --> 00:48:34,590
...the station of choice
in Chinquapin Parish.

773
00:48:34,838 --> 00:48:36,032
Mrs. Belcher, weve gotta go!

774
00:48:36,278 --> 00:48:37,996
-Bye!
-Kickoff!

775
00:48:52,358 --> 00:48:53,473
Well?

776
00:48:56,678 --> 00:48:58,748
Rolly Bassett got the contract.

777
00:48:59,318 --> 00:49:01,070
His bid was 6000 under mine.

778
00:49:01,318 --> 00:49:02,671
Six thousand?

779
00:49:04,398 --> 00:49:07,390
He owns all his own equipment
and l dont.

780
00:49:10,318 --> 00:49:12,673
lts hell to be poor and hired out.

781
00:49:14,078 --> 00:49:18,071
l have got some fried chicken here,
prepared by Christian women...

782
00:49:18,318 --> 00:49:19,592
...a bottle of cheap wine...

783
00:49:19,838 --> 00:49:23,433
...and lve arranged for some
pretty incredible fireworks.

784
00:49:25,318 --> 00:49:26,546
Come on, Spud.

785
00:49:26,798 --> 00:49:31,110
l dont wanna miss the Nativity made
entirely out of sparklers.

786
00:49:32,518 --> 00:49:36,511
-l dont feel much like it.
-You will once we get there.

787
00:49:37,678 --> 00:49:39,714
lm happy where l am.

788
00:49:43,478 --> 00:49:46,436
We always watch the fireworks.

789
00:49:48,918 --> 00:49:51,273
This is KPPD radio...

790
00:49:51,518 --> 00:49:54,237
...station of choice
in Chinquapin Parish...

791
00:49:54,478 --> 00:49:57,834
...coming to you live
from the Devils locker room.

792
00:49:58,038 --> 00:50:02,350
This is Bark Boone
with colour announcer Clairee Belcher.

793
00:50:02,598 --> 00:50:04,077
Thank you, Bark.

794
00:50:04,318 --> 00:50:07,310
You know, its a shame
our listeners cant be here...

795
00:50:07,678 --> 00:50:10,715
...to see the gorgeous
new Devil uniforms.

796
00:50:11,798 --> 00:50:12,867
Theyre lovely.

797
00:50:13,118 --> 00:50:15,916
l myself would never have chosen
those white pants.

798
00:50:16,158 --> 00:50:19,230
l wouldve gone with a darker colour.
White shows everything.

799
00:50:19,478 --> 00:50:22,436
Just look at those grass stains.
lmpossible to get out.

800
00:50:22,678 --> 00:50:25,431
lts hard to keep white clean
when youre tackled.

801
00:50:25,678 --> 00:50:27,191
But l love the tops.

802
00:50:27,438 --> 00:50:28,427
Such a vibrant purple.

803
00:50:28,678 --> 00:50:31,397
Bark, would you call this colour
grape or aubergine?

804
00:50:31,638 --> 00:50:32,866
Shut up!

805
00:50:33,238 --> 00:50:34,034
What?

806
00:50:34,278 --> 00:50:36,587
Youre making a fool out of yourself.

807
00:50:36,838 --> 00:50:37,748
l am not!

808
00:50:37,998 --> 00:50:39,226
This is football.

809
00:50:39,478 --> 00:50:42,390
All people wanna hear about
is touchdowns and injuries.

810
00:50:42,638 --> 00:50:45,106
They dont give a damn
about that grape shit.

811
00:50:45,758 --> 00:50:48,591
We have a new psychiatrist
that comes in two days a week.

812
00:50:48,838 --> 00:50:51,557
Of course, l pick her name
out of the grab bag.

813
00:50:51,798 --> 00:50:55,427
lve gotta get something for her.
Would you put that on the list?

814
00:50:55,678 --> 00:50:59,432
l have no idea
what to get your father.

815
00:50:59,958 --> 00:51:02,028
Whats Jackson giving you?
Do you know?

816
00:51:03,558 --> 00:51:04,388
Furniture.

817
00:51:05,638 --> 00:51:07,310
Furniture? Well, my!

818
00:51:08,038 --> 00:51:11,269
Must be nice to be married
to a rich lawyer.

819
00:51:12,038 --> 00:51:13,312
For the living room?

820
00:51:14,838 --> 00:51:16,032
No, for the nursery.

821
00:51:20,598 --> 00:51:25,035
We wanted to tell you when you and
Daddy were together, but you never are.

822
00:51:25,278 --> 00:51:26,836
lts every man for himself.

823
00:51:28,998 --> 00:51:30,067
lm pregnant.

824
00:51:33,438 --> 00:51:34,917
l realize that.

825
00:51:38,318 --> 00:51:39,717
ls that it?

826
00:51:40,678 --> 00:51:42,077
ls that all youre gonna say?

827
00:51:43,558 --> 00:51:45,435
What do you want me to say?

828
00:51:46,638 --> 00:51:48,993
Something along the lines of
Congratulations.

829
00:51:51,918 --> 00:51:53,112
Congratulations.

830
00:52:04,918 --> 00:52:07,273
Would it be too much to ask...

831
00:52:08,958 --> 00:52:10,471
...for a little excitement?

832
00:52:10,718 --> 00:52:13,994
Not too much. l wouldnt want you
to break a sweat or anything.

833
00:52:19,118 --> 00:52:20,597
lts in July.

834
00:52:27,158 --> 00:52:29,149
You have to help me plan.

835
00:52:31,078 --> 00:52:32,591
Were gonna get a new house.

836
00:52:32,838 --> 00:52:35,432
Jackson and l are going
house hunting next week.

837
00:52:35,958 --> 00:52:37,676
He loves to hunt for anything.

838
00:52:38,158 --> 00:52:41,548
-What does Jackson say about all this?
-Hes so excited.

839
00:52:42,878 --> 00:52:45,756
He says he doesnt care
whether its a boy or a girl...

840
00:52:45,998 --> 00:52:49,149
...but l know he really wants
a son so bad he can taste it.

841
00:52:50,478 --> 00:52:52,594
Hes cute about it.
lts all he talks about.

842
00:52:52,998 --> 00:52:54,351
Jackson Latcherie, Jr.

843
00:52:54,598 --> 00:52:55,792
Does he ever listen?

844
00:52:56,478 --> 00:52:59,038
When doctors and specialists
give you advice...

845
00:52:59,438 --> 00:53:00,507
...does he listen?

846
00:53:00,758 --> 00:53:02,430
l know you never do. Does he?

847
00:53:07,718 --> 00:53:08,548
What?

848
00:53:11,958 --> 00:53:16,076
l guess since he doesnt have to carry
the baby, it isnt any of his concern.

849
00:53:18,838 --> 00:53:20,749
l want a child.

850
00:53:21,358 --> 00:53:23,713
What about adoption?
You filled out applications.

851
00:53:23,958 --> 00:53:28,236
No judge is going to give a baby
to someone with my medical record.

852
00:53:30,878 --> 00:53:32,834
Jackson put out feelers
about buying one.

853
00:53:33,078 --> 00:53:34,670
People do it all the time.

854
00:53:37,358 --> 00:53:38,791
Listen to me.

855
00:53:40,838 --> 00:53:42,715
l want a child of my own.

856
00:53:47,398 --> 00:53:49,434
l think it would help things a lot.

857
00:53:58,758 --> 00:54:00,111
l see.

858
00:54:12,718 --> 00:54:14,674
You worry too much.

859
00:54:16,238 --> 00:54:20,516
l never worry, because l always know
youre worried enough for both of us.

860
00:54:25,958 --> 00:54:28,313
Jackson and l gave this
a lot of thought.

861
00:54:28,558 --> 00:54:32,233
-Theres a first time for everything.
-Dont start on Jackson.

862
00:54:32,478 --> 00:54:36,357
Your body has been through so much.
Why would you do this to yourself?

863
00:54:36,598 --> 00:54:40,671
-Diabetics have healthy babies.
-You are special, Shelby.

864
00:54:41,358 --> 00:54:43,872
There are limits to what you can do.

865
00:54:50,878 --> 00:54:52,675
l am going to be...

866
00:54:53,358 --> 00:54:55,076
...very, very careful.

867
00:54:56,238 --> 00:54:59,036
Nobodys gonna be hurt
or disappointed...

868
00:54:59,278 --> 00:55:00,757
...or even inconvenienced.

869
00:55:01,558 --> 00:55:04,152
Least of all Jackson, lm sure.

870
00:55:07,878 --> 00:55:09,027
Youre jealous.

871
00:55:10,158 --> 00:55:12,626
You no longer have
a say-so in what l do...

872
00:55:12,878 --> 00:55:14,948
...and that drives you up the wall.

873
00:55:16,038 --> 00:55:19,747
Youre ready to spit nails
because you cant call the shots.

874
00:55:20,958 --> 00:55:24,234
l did not raise my daughter
to talk to me like this.

875
00:55:26,838 --> 00:55:28,988
-Yes, you did.
-No, l didnt.

876
00:55:29,398 --> 00:55:33,357
Whenever we asked what you wanted
for us when we grew up, whatd you say?

877
00:55:33,598 --> 00:55:35,190
lm not in the mood to play games.

878
00:55:35,438 --> 00:55:37,747
Just tell me what you said.
What did you say?

879
00:55:37,998 --> 00:55:41,707
The only thing l have ever said to you
is that l want you to be happy.

880
00:55:43,078 --> 00:55:46,514
The one thing that would make me happy
is to have a baby.

881
00:55:47,518 --> 00:55:50,396
lf l could adopt one, l would,
but l cant.

882
00:55:52,598 --> 00:55:56,432
lm going to have a baby,
and l wish youd be happy too.

883
00:55:57,358 --> 00:55:59,269
lll tell you what l wish.

884
00:56:01,078 --> 00:56:02,875
l dont know what l wish.

885
00:56:06,238 --> 00:56:09,116
l dont know why you have to make
everything so difficult.

886
00:56:11,998 --> 00:56:15,877
l look at having this baby
as the opportunity of a lifetime.

887
00:56:16,238 --> 00:56:19,708
Sure, there may be risk involved,
but thats true for anybody.

888
00:56:20,678 --> 00:56:23,067
But you get through it
and life goes on.

889
00:56:23,518 --> 00:56:26,476
When alls said and done,
therell be a piece of immortality...

890
00:56:26,718 --> 00:56:29,835
...with Jacksons good looks
and my sense of style, l hope.

891
00:56:31,038 --> 00:56:31,914
Please.

892
00:56:32,358 --> 00:56:33,586
Please.

893
00:56:34,998 --> 00:56:36,750
l need your support.

894
00:56:39,158 --> 00:56:42,070
l would rather have 30 minutes
of wonderful...

895
00:56:42,318 --> 00:56:44,707
...than a lifetime of nothing special.

896
00:57:02,478 --> 00:57:04,833
lll hand it to you.
l dont wanna hit you.

897
00:57:05,078 --> 00:57:07,876
-Okay, l got one hole left.
-Right.

898
00:57:08,238 --> 00:57:11,310
Put the cords so they dont show.
ltll look tacky.

899
00:57:11,558 --> 00:57:13,435
You told me about 40 times.

900
00:57:17,038 --> 00:57:18,391
Did you do all this?

901
00:57:18,878 --> 00:57:19,867
Guilty.

902
00:57:20,118 --> 00:57:23,588
Truvy just turned over
the decoration responsibility to me.

903
00:57:23,958 --> 00:57:27,997
l went to the fire sale at the Baptist
Bookstore in Shreveport last week.

904
00:57:28,238 --> 00:57:31,310
They had mismatched manger scenes
at incredibly low prices.

905
00:57:31,558 --> 00:57:35,392
l cleaned them out of baby Jesuses,
which l made into ornaments.

906
00:57:35,598 --> 00:57:36,428
Ready to roll.

907
00:57:36,638 --> 00:57:38,230
Shelby, would you do the honours?

908
00:57:41,958 --> 00:57:44,791
-Here you are, Mrs. Latcherie.
-Thanks, Sammy.

909
00:57:45,478 --> 00:57:46,467
Ready?

910
00:57:51,598 --> 00:57:53,509
Annelle, its wonderful!

911
00:57:53,758 --> 00:57:54,907
lt works!

912
00:57:55,238 --> 00:57:57,149
How cute!

913
00:57:57,718 --> 00:58:00,437
l think your elves have gone berserk.

914
00:58:00,878 --> 00:58:03,551
Shelby! l wasnt expecting
to see you here today.

915
00:58:03,798 --> 00:58:07,313
lm running a special.
lts called a  Christmas quickie.

916
00:58:07,558 --> 00:58:11,392
lm beyond help. lve discovered
the early stages of crows feet.

917
00:58:11,638 --> 00:58:15,836
Time marches on, and eventually you
realize its marching across your face.

918
00:58:16,078 --> 00:58:17,955
-Stop it.
-Oh, no.

919
00:58:18,478 --> 00:58:19,547
lts Miss Ouiser.

920
00:58:23,718 --> 00:58:26,676
lm supposed to give her
a pedicure today.

921
00:58:26,918 --> 00:58:28,636
l hate working on her feet.

922
00:58:28,878 --> 00:58:32,427
lt couldve been worse.
She couldve wanted a bikini waxing.

923
00:58:32,998 --> 00:58:35,671
-Lets not get graphic.
-Why not?

924
00:58:35,918 --> 00:58:38,386
Miss Ouiser, l met
an old friend of yours.

925
00:58:39,598 --> 00:58:40,826
Owen Jenkins.

926
00:58:42,318 --> 00:58:45,390
Owen! Now, theres a blast
from the past.

927
00:58:45,638 --> 00:58:47,230
You remember him?
He remembers you.

928
00:58:47,478 --> 00:58:50,470
Of course. He had the longest
nose hair in the free world.

929
00:58:50,718 --> 00:58:53,596
He doesnt now.
He hardly has any hair anywhere.

930
00:58:53,838 --> 00:58:56,477
Owens been gone from Chinquapin
since God was a boy.

931
00:58:56,718 --> 00:58:57,867
l forgot he existed.

932
00:58:58,318 --> 00:59:00,673
He lives in Monroe
and goes to First Presbyterian.

933
00:59:00,998 --> 00:59:03,796
He found out where l was from
and asked if l knew you.

934
00:59:04,398 --> 00:59:05,911
He used to live in Ohio.

935
00:59:06,158 --> 00:59:09,036
His wife just died recently,
and hes moved back down here.

936
00:59:10,758 --> 00:59:12,316
Does this story have a point?

937
00:59:12,558 --> 00:59:16,107
No, not really. He just
remembers you fondly, l think.

938
00:59:16,358 --> 00:59:17,552
l cant imagine why.

939
00:59:17,878 --> 00:59:20,995
He was not a bad fellow.
But l managed to run him off...

940
00:59:21,238 --> 00:59:23,354
...and marry the first
of two deadbeats.

941
00:59:23,598 --> 00:59:26,351
Maybe l could arrange for us all
to get together.

942
00:59:26,798 --> 00:59:28,789
-Maybe not.
-Why not?

943
00:59:30,118 --> 00:59:34,236
ln a few decades, l married the two
most worthless men in the universe...

944
00:59:34,478 --> 00:59:38,756
...and proceeded to have the three most
ungrateful children ever conceived.

945
00:59:38,998 --> 00:59:41,034
The only reason people are
nice to me...

946
00:59:41,278 --> 00:59:43,428
...is because l have
more money than God.

947
00:59:43,678 --> 00:59:46,067
lm not about to open
a new can of worms.

948
00:59:47,798 --> 00:59:48,628
What?

949
00:59:49,238 --> 00:59:51,513
lf this is how you feel,
it isnt healthy.

950
00:59:52,038 --> 00:59:55,872
Maybe you should come down to the
Guidance Centre and talk to someone.

951
00:59:56,438 --> 00:59:58,429
lm not crazy, MLynn.

952
00:59:58,678 --> 01:00:01,909
lve just been in a very bad mood
for 40 years.

953
01:00:07,638 --> 01:00:08,832
Merry Christmas.

954
01:00:09,078 --> 01:00:10,796
Look at you. ls that new?

955
01:00:11,038 --> 01:00:13,677
l made the dress
with my own two hands.

956
01:00:13,918 --> 01:00:15,874
l just threw the rest of it together.

957
01:00:16,118 --> 01:00:18,791
The only thing that separates us
from the animals...

958
01:00:19,038 --> 01:00:21,427
...is our ability to accessorize.

959
01:00:22,398 --> 01:00:24,036
Annelle, why are you so late?

960
01:00:24,278 --> 01:00:27,475
Did you and Sammy get tangled up
in the tinsel?

961
01:00:27,718 --> 01:00:29,913
Truvy, you kill me.

962
01:00:30,158 --> 01:00:31,750
-Merry Christmas.
-Thank you.

963
01:00:31,998 --> 01:00:33,909
-Merry Christmas to you.
-Oh, darling.

964
01:00:34,158 --> 01:00:38,231
Your nephew Marshall is a little piece
of heaven right here on earth.

965
01:00:38,478 --> 01:00:40,992
Theyre family and l love them,
but they do look like...

966
01:00:41,238 --> 01:00:43,593
...theyve all been carved
out of cream cheese.

967
01:00:46,478 --> 01:00:50,153
Clairee, lm surprised at you
talking about your kin that way.

968
01:00:50,398 --> 01:00:51,990
As somebody always said:

969
01:00:52,238 --> 01:00:56,117
lf you cant say anything nice
about anybody, come sit by me.

970
01:00:56,358 --> 01:00:57,234
Thats a good one.

971
01:01:02,638 --> 01:01:05,198
-Somebody wants to see you.
-Who?

972
01:01:05,438 --> 01:01:07,713
lve opened the can of worms for you.

973
01:01:10,918 --> 01:01:12,067
Hell.

974
01:01:12,478 --> 01:01:13,467
Owen Jenkins.

975
01:01:13,718 --> 01:01:15,868
Hello, Louisa. Remember me?

976
01:01:16,998 --> 01:01:19,751
My God, you look different.
Have you shrunk?

977
01:01:21,838 --> 01:01:25,114
You look terrific.
Youve hardly changed at all.

978
01:01:25,918 --> 01:01:28,352
lm not as sweet as l used to be.

979
01:01:38,478 --> 01:01:40,514
l cannot believe Shelby did that.

980
01:01:40,758 --> 01:01:41,713
Owen.

981
01:01:41,958 --> 01:01:43,550
After all these years.

982
01:01:43,798 --> 01:01:46,232
lm not sure l can be
gracious under pressure.

983
01:01:46,478 --> 01:01:48,992
Shelby does a lot of things
l cant believe.

984
01:01:49,798 --> 01:01:53,393
Whats wrong with you these days?
You got a reindeer up your butt?

985
01:01:53,638 --> 01:01:54,866
Everybody!

986
01:01:55,118 --> 01:01:57,507
Tommy, get all these people outside.

987
01:02:01,158 --> 01:02:04,548
Quiet down. l just want
a moment of your time, folks.

988
01:02:06,758 --> 01:02:08,635
Today, my daughter...

989
01:02:09,158 --> 01:02:11,274
...told me a big secret.

990
01:02:11,758 --> 01:02:15,512
Now, dont worry, honey, lm not
gonna tell them youre pregnant.

991
01:02:18,038 --> 01:02:20,757
lm just gonna tell them
lm gonna be a granddaddy.

992
01:02:21,678 --> 01:02:23,430
Thats wonderful!

993
01:02:30,878 --> 01:02:32,709
-Grandma!
-Congratulations!

994
01:02:33,598 --> 01:02:34,872
Aint you excited?

995
01:02:35,118 --> 01:02:37,916
Smile. lt increases your face value.

996
01:02:38,158 --> 01:02:40,388
The doctors said
Shelby couldnt have children.

997
01:02:40,638 --> 01:02:42,515
What do they know?
She showed them.

998
01:02:42,958 --> 01:02:46,428
The doctors said she shouldnt have
children. Theres a difference.

999
01:02:47,518 --> 01:02:50,271
This baby is not exactly great news.

1000
01:02:50,518 --> 01:02:52,952
To Jackson and Shelby.

1001
01:02:58,918 --> 01:03:02,513
l really wish l had some
words of wisdom, but l dont.

1002
01:03:02,758 --> 01:03:06,228
So why dont we just focus
on the joy of the situation?

1003
01:03:06,838 --> 01:03:08,112
ltll be fine.

1004
01:03:08,678 --> 01:03:10,270
Absolutely.

1005
01:03:12,118 --> 01:03:13,631
You know what they say:

1006
01:03:13,878 --> 01:03:16,995
That which does not kill us
makes us stronger.

1007
01:03:24,838 --> 01:03:28,228
Nothing pleases Shelby more
than proving me wrong.

1008
01:03:36,318 --> 01:03:38,388
And to my new grandbaby.

1009
01:03:38,918 --> 01:03:41,876
May he be as good-looking as l am.

1010
01:03:49,878 --> 01:03:52,790
Born on the third of July

1011
01:03:53,478 --> 01:03:56,788
He's a Yankee Doodle sweetheart

1012
01:03:57,038 --> 01:04:00,155
He's a Yankee Doodle boy

1013
01:04:00,398 --> 01:04:02,912
Yankee Doodle went to London
Just to ride a pony

1014
01:04:03,158 --> 01:04:05,626
He is a Yankee Doodle boy

1015
01:04:06,838 --> 01:04:08,066
Go ahead, blow it out.

1016
01:04:08,318 --> 01:04:09,671
Go ahead, blow it out.

1017
01:04:11,118 --> 01:04:14,030
-This is boring.
-You only have a first birthday once.

1018
01:04:14,278 --> 01:04:17,270
-Hes making a wish.
-l wish hed blow out the candle.

1019
01:04:17,518 --> 01:04:18,917
l cant stand this.

1020
01:04:19,278 --> 01:04:21,394
Dont you dare!

1021
01:04:23,038 --> 01:04:24,357
Come on, here we go.

1022
01:04:24,598 --> 01:04:25,713
One, two, three.

1023
01:04:30,118 --> 01:04:31,676
Happy birthday!

1024
01:04:34,278 --> 01:04:37,668
lll be back from Truvys in about
an hour. Anything you want?

1025
01:04:38,518 --> 01:04:40,076
l think lll come with you.

1026
01:04:40,438 --> 01:04:42,793
l wanna get my hair cut. Short.

1027
01:04:43,518 --> 01:04:44,997
And l want Truvy to do it.

1028
01:04:45,238 --> 01:04:46,557
lts easy to take care of.

1029
01:04:46,798 --> 01:04:49,551
ld love to be able to
run my fingers through it and go.

1030
01:04:51,158 --> 01:04:53,069
l think that would be precious.

1031
01:04:54,518 --> 01:04:57,430
l feel the need to make things
as simple as possible.

1032
01:04:57,678 --> 01:04:59,270
Let me go tell Jackson.

1033
01:05:09,998 --> 01:05:12,114
l just cant seem to find the wipes.

1034
01:05:12,358 --> 01:05:14,349
Theyre in my bag. ls he wet?

1035
01:05:15,038 --> 01:05:15,993
Hes muddy.

1036
01:05:16,238 --> 01:05:19,116
Clairee, finish about your nephew.
Get to the good stuff.

1037
01:05:19,358 --> 01:05:21,508
Well, l have to admit...

1038
01:05:21,758 --> 01:05:24,147
...Marshall did go about it
the wrong way.

1039
01:05:24,838 --> 01:05:26,430
He marched in...

1040
01:05:26,678 --> 01:05:28,828
...and without so much
as a hello, he said:

1041
01:05:29,078 --> 01:05:31,546
Mama and Daddy, l have
something to tell you.

1042
01:05:31,798 --> 01:05:35,393
l have a brain tumour.
l have three months to live.

1043
01:05:35,638 --> 01:05:38,596
Naturally, Drew and Belle
became hysterical.

1044
01:05:38,838 --> 01:05:39,907
Then he said:

1045
01:05:40,158 --> 01:05:42,877
Hey, folks, lm only kidding.

1046
01:05:43,118 --> 01:05:44,392
lm just gay.

1047
01:05:44,678 --> 01:05:47,033
That was his idea
of breaking the news gently?

1048
01:05:47,278 --> 01:05:49,428
Marshall was always very theatrical.

1049
01:05:49,678 --> 01:05:52,590
l wonder what Drew and Belle must be
feeling about this.

1050
01:05:52,838 --> 01:05:55,272
l dont know.
Theyve considered themselves...

1051
01:05:55,518 --> 01:05:57,588
...a model family for so long.

1052
01:05:57,838 --> 01:06:01,547
First Nancy Beth dethroned
from her Miss Merry Christmas title...

1053
01:06:01,798 --> 01:06:04,551
...because of that unfortunate
motel thing.

1054
01:06:04,798 --> 01:06:08,029
What motel thing?
l dont live here anymore, remember?

1055
01:06:08,278 --> 01:06:12,908
Nancy Beth was discovered in a local
motel with a high political official.

1056
01:06:13,358 --> 01:06:16,748
They were both high. Theyd been
smoking everything but their shoes.

1057
01:06:16,998 --> 01:06:19,512
Shes the first Miss Merry Christmas
to be caught...

1058
01:06:19,758 --> 01:06:22,556
...with her tinsel
down around her knees.

1059
01:06:23,438 --> 01:06:26,908
Speaking of drawers, hang on to yours!

1060
01:06:40,558 --> 01:06:41,752
Oh, gosh.

1061
01:06:41,998 --> 01:06:43,716
You dont like it.

1062
01:06:44,238 --> 01:06:45,830
l did what you asked me, didnt l?

1063
01:06:46,078 --> 01:06:48,114
Yes, you really did a beautiful job.

1064
01:06:49,798 --> 01:06:51,072
lts just that....

1065
01:06:52,878 --> 01:06:54,357
Sweetheart, dont.

1066
01:06:54,678 --> 01:06:56,316
Please dont cry or l will too.

1067
01:06:56,558 --> 01:07:00,676
l have a strict policy that nobody
cries alone in my presence.

1068
01:07:01,518 --> 01:07:02,553
l love it.

1069
01:07:16,998 --> 01:07:18,511
Lets do my nails.

1070
01:07:18,758 --> 01:07:22,273
This is a treat! Nobody around here
ever wants a manicure.

1071
01:07:22,518 --> 01:07:26,067
l dont think ld even know what
to charge for a full days beauty.

1072
01:07:26,318 --> 01:07:27,876
lm gonna need one too.

1073
01:07:28,118 --> 01:07:32,828
l am gonna paint my front door red
and change my name to Elizabeth Arden.

1074
01:07:34,638 --> 01:07:35,866
Amen.

1075
01:07:37,078 --> 01:07:38,477
Amen.

1076
01:07:39,678 --> 01:07:41,714
lm gonna need some more
cuticle oil.

1077
01:07:41,958 --> 01:07:44,153
-ls it still next to--?
-Second shelf.

1078
01:07:45,798 --> 01:07:47,436
-Was she praying?
-Yes.

1079
01:07:47,678 --> 01:07:49,111
-Why?
-Got me.

1080
01:07:49,358 --> 01:07:51,918
Maybe she was praying for Marshall
and Drew and Belle.

1081
01:07:52,158 --> 01:07:54,308
Maybe she was praying
because we were gossiping.

1082
01:07:54,558 --> 01:07:57,709
Maybe she was praying because
the elastic is shot in her pantyhose.

1083
01:07:57,958 --> 01:08:00,426
Who knows? She prays at
the drop of a hat these days.

1084
01:08:00,678 --> 01:08:01,906
How long has she been this way?

1085
01:08:02,158 --> 01:08:03,034
Since Mardi Gras.

1086
01:08:03,278 --> 01:08:06,827
She had a choice of going to a
Bible weekend with her Sunday school...

1087
01:08:07,078 --> 01:08:09,638
...or to New Orleans with me
and two other sinners.

1088
01:08:09,878 --> 01:08:11,277
Whats her boyfriend say?

1089
01:08:11,518 --> 01:08:12,667
Sammys so confused...

1090
01:08:12,918 --> 01:08:15,591
...he dont know to
scratch his watch or wind his butt.

1091
01:08:16,358 --> 01:08:19,111
He could deal with another man,
but hes having trouble...

1092
01:08:19,358 --> 01:08:22,270
...with the Father, the Son
and the Holy Ghost.

1093
01:08:25,958 --> 01:08:29,189
Well, does Marshall have,
you know, friends?

1094
01:08:29,438 --> 01:08:31,030
We discussed that.

1095
01:08:31,278 --> 01:08:33,234
l asked him how he...

1096
01:08:33,478 --> 01:08:34,877
...met people.

1097
01:08:35,318 --> 01:08:39,357
ln my day, a mans demeanor told
which side his bread was buttered on.

1098
01:08:39,598 --> 01:08:41,907
But in this day and age, who knows?

1099
01:08:42,158 --> 01:08:45,389
l asked Marshall,  How can you tell?

1100
01:08:45,638 --> 01:08:49,267
And he said, All gay men
have track lighting.

1101
01:08:49,518 --> 01:08:52,954
And all gay men are named
Mark, Rick or Steve.

1102
01:08:53,438 --> 01:08:55,872
Be a soft-spoken dog!

1103
01:08:56,238 --> 01:08:57,387
Morning.

1104
01:08:57,958 --> 01:08:59,027
Whats so funny?

1105
01:08:59,278 --> 01:09:03,066
Clairees just been telling us
this true story of track lighting.

1106
01:09:03,318 --> 01:09:04,546
l love mine.

1107
01:09:05,638 --> 01:09:07,788
Highlights my new artwork.

1108
01:09:08,158 --> 01:09:10,592
Since when do you have track lighting?

1109
01:09:11,318 --> 01:09:14,754
About three weeks. lts in
the foyer up the staircase.

1110
01:09:14,998 --> 01:09:16,954
My grandsons idea.

1111
01:09:17,438 --> 01:09:19,190
l havent seen him in ages.

1112
01:09:19,438 --> 01:09:20,427
How is he?

1113
01:09:20,678 --> 01:09:21,588
Steves fine.

1114
01:09:25,958 --> 01:09:26,993
Oh, God.

1115
01:09:27,318 --> 01:09:29,070
Your hair is so short.

1116
01:09:29,318 --> 01:09:32,037
Youre almost chipper.
Why are you in such a good mood?

1117
01:09:32,278 --> 01:09:34,234
Did you run over a small child?

1118
01:09:34,478 --> 01:09:35,274
Tomatoes.

1119
01:09:35,478 --> 01:09:36,911
Dont give all these to me.

1120
01:09:37,158 --> 01:09:38,637
Somebodys gotta take them.

1121
01:09:38,878 --> 01:09:42,393
l try not to eat healthy food
if l can possibly help it.

1122
01:09:42,638 --> 01:09:45,550
The sooner my body gives out,
the better off lll be.

1123
01:09:45,918 --> 01:09:48,034
l cant get enough grease
into my diet.

1124
01:09:48,278 --> 01:09:49,996
Then why do you grow them?

1125
01:09:50,238 --> 01:09:52,194
Southern women are supposed to wear...

1126
01:09:52,438 --> 01:09:56,226
...funny-looking hats and ugly clothes
and grow vegetables in the dirt.

1127
01:09:59,078 --> 01:10:01,638
Dont ask me those questions.
l dont know why.

1128
01:10:01,878 --> 01:10:03,709
l dont make the rules.

1129
01:10:07,238 --> 01:10:08,956
Now, thats attractive, Ouiser.

1130
01:10:16,078 --> 01:10:18,387
Honey, what have you done to yourself?

1131
01:10:18,638 --> 01:10:20,151
lt doesnt hurt.

1132
01:10:20,398 --> 01:10:22,958
MLynn, have you seen this?

1133
01:10:25,158 --> 01:10:26,910
Yes, l have.

1134
01:10:27,838 --> 01:10:31,353
The doctors strengthening my veins.
Theyre in terrible shape.

1135
01:10:31,598 --> 01:10:32,667
My God!

1136
01:10:32,918 --> 01:10:36,308
lt looks like you been
driving nails up your arms.

1137
01:10:36,838 --> 01:10:38,396
What is going on?

1138
01:10:39,558 --> 01:10:40,752
Shall we tell them?

1139
01:10:45,478 --> 01:10:48,356
l guess we cant keep it
a secret any longer.

1140
01:10:49,478 --> 01:10:51,787
Shelby has been driving nails
up her arm.

1141
01:10:53,798 --> 01:10:56,870
lts my dialysis. lts no big thing.

1142
01:10:59,558 --> 01:11:03,187
Dont look at me like that. Having
Jack, Jr., strained my kidneys...

1143
01:11:03,438 --> 01:11:05,235
...and now theyre kaput, thats all.

1144
01:11:05,478 --> 01:11:08,072
The doctor said this would
probably happen.

1145
01:11:08,318 --> 01:11:09,671
Thats all?

1146
01:11:09,918 --> 01:11:11,749
Thats all, she says.

1147
01:11:11,998 --> 01:11:14,671
Do you do this dialysis forever?

1148
01:11:14,918 --> 01:11:16,636
Well, l could, l suppose.

1149
01:11:16,998 --> 01:11:19,671
But its not convenient
when keeping up with Jack, Jr.

1150
01:11:19,918 --> 01:11:22,148
So lll have a kidney transplant.
lll be fine.

1151
01:11:22,558 --> 01:11:24,435
-ls it that easy?
-Sure.

1152
01:11:24,678 --> 01:11:27,192
They do them all the time
in Shreveport.

1153
01:11:27,438 --> 01:11:31,351
They do. Our Sunday school class was
just praying for one the other day.

1154
01:11:31,598 --> 01:11:34,476
But the hard part is
finding a kidney, isnt it?

1155
01:11:34,718 --> 01:11:38,393
l saw something about it on TV.
Very dramatic.

1156
01:11:38,638 --> 01:11:42,108
Medical teams fly all over the place
taking hearts and kidneys...

1157
01:11:42,358 --> 01:11:43,677
...and who knows what else.

1158
01:11:43,918 --> 01:11:45,397
You know what impressed me?

1159
01:11:45,638 --> 01:11:48,994
-They carry the organs in beer coolers.
-Stop it!

1160
01:11:49,238 --> 01:11:51,354
Those doctors take out
their six-packs...

1161
01:11:51,598 --> 01:11:54,590
...throw in some dry ice
and a heart and get on a plane.

1162
01:11:54,958 --> 01:11:57,028
How long do you have to wait for one?

1163
01:11:57,558 --> 01:12:00,391
There are people on dialysis
that have waited for years.

1164
01:12:01,518 --> 01:12:03,076
That must be agony.

1165
01:12:03,478 --> 01:12:05,150
l suppose, but...

1166
01:12:05,478 --> 01:12:07,548
...lm lucky.
l dont have to wait anymore.

1167
01:12:09,798 --> 01:12:11,789
Mamas gonna give me
one of her kidneys.

1168
01:12:14,398 --> 01:12:15,353
When?

1169
01:12:15,598 --> 01:12:17,395
We check in tomorrow morning.

1170
01:12:26,598 --> 01:12:28,714
So you better get going on my nails.

1171
01:12:29,518 --> 01:12:31,793
-Annelle, lm dripping.
-lm sorry.

1172
01:12:34,118 --> 01:12:35,836
l shouldnt have said that.

1173
01:12:36,078 --> 01:12:37,431
Said what?

1174
01:12:37,958 --> 01:12:39,277
Back at Truvys.

1175
01:12:39,518 --> 01:12:42,715
l said ld be better off
when my body wears out.

1176
01:12:43,078 --> 01:12:45,592
l shouldnt have said that
in front of Shelby.

1177
01:12:45,838 --> 01:12:47,271
And l didnt mean that.

1178
01:12:47,518 --> 01:12:50,316
Ouiser, nobody pays
any attention to you.

1179
01:12:51,718 --> 01:12:53,674
But l feel bad, Clairee.

1180
01:12:54,438 --> 01:12:56,269
lm a terrible person.

1181
01:12:56,758 --> 01:12:57,986
No, youre not.

1182
01:12:58,918 --> 01:13:01,796
Youd give your dog a kidney
if he needed one.

1183
01:13:13,078 --> 01:13:14,557
This is just a gesture.

1184
01:13:14,798 --> 01:13:17,028
Were not feeding Drum
till the end of time.

1185
01:13:17,278 --> 01:13:20,270
Drum loves pork and beans.
He eats them with everything.

1186
01:13:21,518 --> 01:13:23,349
That explains a lot.

1187
01:13:24,318 --> 01:13:27,469
Youre supposed to soak
the red beans overnight.

1188
01:13:27,958 --> 01:13:30,153
But we dont have overnight.

1189
01:13:30,398 --> 01:13:33,356
l wanna take it to them before
they leave for the hospital.

1190
01:13:33,598 --> 01:13:35,350
Lets cook something else.

1191
01:13:35,598 --> 01:13:36,792
l already bought the stuff.

1192
01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:39,347
lts in the  Freezes Beautifully
section of my cookbook.

1193
01:13:39,598 --> 01:13:42,032
l wanna take something
that freezes beautifully.

1194
01:13:42,278 --> 01:13:44,587
Then well make red beans and rice.

1195
01:13:48,678 --> 01:13:52,034
Sammy Dwayne Desoto,
what is this in my Frigidaire?

1196
01:13:53,718 --> 01:13:54,787
Beer.

1197
01:13:57,278 --> 01:13:59,508
l dont care what you do
in your refrigerator...

1198
01:13:59,758 --> 01:14:01,669
...but you wont keep liquor in mine.

1199
01:14:04,518 --> 01:14:07,032
Annelle, for Christs sakes.

1200
01:14:07,718 --> 01:14:08,833
Who?

1201
01:14:09,558 --> 01:14:10,832
Christ.

1202
01:14:12,358 --> 01:14:13,347
Who did you say?

1203
01:14:13,598 --> 01:14:15,395
Christ, Christ, Christ.

1204
01:14:15,638 --> 01:14:19,267
Are you speaking of our Lord? ls that
whose name youre taking in vain?

1205
01:14:19,518 --> 01:14:20,837
Thats the one.

1206
01:14:21,838 --> 01:14:25,592
l am sorry, Sammy, but l wont
spend the next 50 years of my life...

1207
01:14:25,838 --> 01:14:28,511
...with someone who l wont
run into in the hereafter.

1208
01:14:28,758 --> 01:14:30,555
Annelle, goddamn it.

1209
01:14:30,878 --> 01:14:32,675
l think we should pray.

1210
01:14:33,558 --> 01:14:35,594
ld rather eat dirt.

1211
01:14:37,718 --> 01:14:40,391
Shelby says her half
of the operations easy.

1212
01:14:40,638 --> 01:14:42,230
l guess MLynns is terrible.

1213
01:14:42,798 --> 01:14:46,473
They basically have to saw her in half
to get the kidney out.

1214
01:14:46,718 --> 01:14:49,471
They do it on Circus of the Stars
all the time.

1215
01:14:49,718 --> 01:14:52,357
Dont joke about it, Spud.

1216
01:14:52,598 --> 01:14:54,475
l feel awful for them.

1217
01:14:58,998 --> 01:15:00,954
l guess the Eatentons are lucky.

1218
01:15:01,398 --> 01:15:03,912
They all know how much they mean
to each other.

1219
01:15:05,558 --> 01:15:06,877
Maybe lm jealous.

1220
01:15:07,118 --> 01:15:09,234
Hand me that socket wrench, would you?

1221
01:15:09,478 --> 01:15:12,436
-Which ones a socket wrench?
-The socket wrench.

1222
01:15:12,678 --> 01:15:14,475
This funny-looking thing?

1223
01:15:14,758 --> 01:15:15,986
Thank you.

1224
01:15:24,398 --> 01:15:25,547
Thats not funny.

1225
01:15:25,798 --> 01:15:28,756
Okay, no more transplant jokes.
Daddy doesnt like them.

1226
01:15:28,998 --> 01:15:30,590
Whose turn is it?

1227
01:15:30,878 --> 01:15:33,597
Mama, give me all your...

1228
01:15:33,838 --> 01:15:35,556
...internal organs.

1229
01:15:36,558 --> 01:15:37,957
l mean aces.

1230
01:15:39,038 --> 01:15:40,630
Dad, lm sorry.

1231
01:15:40,878 --> 01:15:41,913
lt just slipped out.

1232
01:15:42,158 --> 01:15:43,591
Go fish.

1233
01:15:44,518 --> 01:15:46,076
lll put this little one to bed.

1234
01:15:46,318 --> 01:15:48,832
-Mama, lll do it.
-No, no, let me.

1235
01:15:49,078 --> 01:15:52,150
After tomorrow, itll be a long time
before l can pick him up.

1236
01:15:52,398 --> 01:15:53,877
So much for the card game.

1237
01:15:54,118 --> 01:15:55,346
Movie!

1238
01:15:55,638 --> 01:15:57,230
Yes! Old and black-and-white.

1239
01:15:57,478 --> 01:15:58,308
Nothing dirty there.

1240
01:15:58,558 --> 01:15:59,786
l got it. A classic.

1241
01:16:00,038 --> 01:16:01,915
A Tale of Two Kidneys.

1242
01:16:04,718 --> 01:16:06,231
You think thats funny?

1243
01:16:07,438 --> 01:16:08,871
Thats not funny.

1244
01:16:10,758 --> 01:16:13,556
l overslept because l was
up late cooking.

1245
01:16:13,798 --> 01:16:16,028
lve gotta get these beans
to the Eatentons...

1246
01:16:16,278 --> 01:16:18,587
...and its my Sunday
to count the offering...

1247
01:16:18,838 --> 01:16:20,954
...and l just know
lm gonna miss church.

1248
01:16:21,198 --> 01:16:24,110
Cool down. lm gonna have to
turn the hose on you.

1249
01:16:24,358 --> 01:16:25,916
l just dont know what lll do.

1250
01:16:26,158 --> 01:16:27,671
l know what youre gonna do.

1251
01:16:27,918 --> 01:16:29,715
You are gonna get in this car...

1252
01:16:29,958 --> 01:16:33,507
...and were gonna drop that pot
of beans off at the Eatenton house.

1253
01:16:34,118 --> 01:16:36,074
Then you are going to church with me.

1254
01:16:36,318 --> 01:16:38,070
l dont know.

1255
01:16:38,318 --> 01:16:41,947
Honey, God dont care which church
you go to, as long as you show up.

1256
01:17:23,078 --> 01:17:26,434
-Ouiser, what brings you here?
-Shut up.

1257
01:17:26,678 --> 01:17:30,034
l was just wondering how things were
with you and Owen.

1258
01:17:30,998 --> 01:17:34,274
l can report that the Sherwood Florist
delivery truck...

1259
01:17:34,518 --> 01:17:37,237
...stops by her house
at least twice a week.

1260
01:17:37,638 --> 01:17:39,356
He knows l like fresh flowers.

1261
01:17:39,598 --> 01:17:42,192
And l can report that a strange car...

1262
01:17:42,438 --> 01:17:45,589
...is parked in her garage
at least once a week.

1263
01:17:46,718 --> 01:17:47,548
There.

1264
01:17:47,798 --> 01:17:49,197
My secret is out.

1265
01:17:49,438 --> 01:17:52,635
l am having an affair
with a Mercedes-Benz.

1266
01:17:53,278 --> 01:17:55,872
We are in the house of the Lord.

1267
01:17:56,118 --> 01:17:57,392
Oh, like she cares.

1268
01:17:57,638 --> 01:18:00,675
Ouisers never done
a religious thing in her life.

1269
01:18:01,478 --> 01:18:02,911
Now, that is not true.

1270
01:18:03,278 --> 01:18:05,746
When l was in school,
a bunch of my friends and l...

1271
01:18:05,998 --> 01:18:08,796
...would dress up as nuns
and go barhopping.

1272
01:18:10,798 --> 01:18:13,915
Ouiser, forgive me, but l just been
dying to ask you this.

1273
01:18:14,158 --> 01:18:16,149
Are you and Owen, you know...?

1274
01:18:17,078 --> 01:18:20,468
Wait, wait. l have to get
a mental picture of this.

1275
01:18:21,518 --> 01:18:24,510
A dirty mind is a terrible thing
to waste.

1276
01:18:25,478 --> 01:18:28,276
Not that this is any
of anyone elses business...

1277
01:18:28,518 --> 01:18:30,349
...but no. Were friends.

1278
01:18:30,598 --> 01:18:33,192
He would like more,
and l am dealing with that.

1279
01:18:33,438 --> 01:18:35,190
But l am old and set in my ways.

1280
01:18:35,438 --> 01:18:37,474
You are playing hard to get.

1281
01:18:37,718 --> 01:18:40,391
At her age, she should be playing
beat the clock.

1282
01:18:41,758 --> 01:18:45,034
-Miss DeLord, is 240 on telemetry?
-Yes, he is.

1283
01:18:45,278 --> 01:18:46,267
Thank you.

1284
01:18:49,398 --> 01:18:50,308
May l help you?

1285
01:18:50,558 --> 01:18:52,469
Could somebody fix my /V, please?

1286
01:18:52,718 --> 01:18:54,674
Someonell be there in a minute.

1287
01:18:55,438 --> 01:18:58,111
Wendy, will you check 240s lV?

1288
01:19:37,918 --> 01:19:42,150
l think that despite everything,
we have a very good result.

1289
01:19:46,918 --> 01:19:50,115
Looks good. Looks real, real good.

1290
01:19:53,398 --> 01:19:54,592
Thanks.

1291
01:20:13,918 --> 01:20:15,397
Surprise!

1292
01:20:17,918 --> 01:20:19,033
l cant believe this!

1293
01:20:19,278 --> 01:20:22,793
l have always wanted to give
a wedding shower with a monster motif.

1294
01:20:23,038 --> 01:20:25,791
Thats what you get
for getting married on Halloween.

1295
01:20:26,758 --> 01:20:27,588
My heart!

1296
01:20:27,838 --> 01:20:29,510
Come on, lets open the gifts.

1297
01:20:29,838 --> 01:20:31,191
Youre welcome. Next.

1298
01:20:31,438 --> 01:20:33,906
MLynn, applique....

1299
01:20:34,158 --> 01:20:36,831
With some little fringe on them
and some applique.

1300
01:20:37,078 --> 01:20:38,431
Quiet down. Quiet down.

1301
01:20:38,678 --> 01:20:41,397
lt says,  Better late than never.

1302
01:20:42,918 --> 01:20:44,715
Look out, Sammy!

1303
01:20:45,798 --> 01:20:47,550
-Whos that from?
-lts not signed.

1304
01:20:47,798 --> 01:20:48,947
Here, let me see.

1305
01:20:51,878 --> 01:20:52,867
What?

1306
01:20:53,358 --> 01:20:55,667
ld recognize
this penmanship anywhere.

1307
01:20:55,918 --> 01:20:58,352
You have the handwriting
of a serial killer.

1308
01:20:58,958 --> 01:21:02,234
l just thought Sammy wouldnt mind
you reading the Bible in bed...

1309
01:21:02,478 --> 01:21:04,833
...if you were wearing
something inspirational.

1310
01:21:05,078 --> 01:21:05,954
Yuck, yuck.

1311
01:21:06,798 --> 01:21:08,356
Put down split crotch.

1312
01:21:08,598 --> 01:21:10,873
-This is from Shelby.
-Thats disgusting.

1313
01:21:11,118 --> 01:21:13,712
Shes sorry she couldnt be here.
Shes on duty.

1314
01:21:13,958 --> 01:21:15,789
-How is she?
-Fine.

1315
01:21:16,038 --> 01:21:18,791
l fed baby Renz,
but l havent fed Alex, okay?

1316
01:21:19,038 --> 01:21:21,791
-Gotta get home for Halloween.
-Have a good evening.

1317
01:21:23,118 --> 01:21:25,871
This is too cute.
Now, where did you find it?

1318
01:21:26,118 --> 01:21:29,269
Aunt Fern made it. l cant wait
to get home and try it on Jack.

1319
01:21:29,518 --> 01:21:32,555
l even taught him to say,
trick or treat, or something--

1320
01:21:34,078 --> 01:21:35,875
Something kind of like it.

1321
01:21:36,718 --> 01:21:38,788
Could you hand me that bag, Pam?

1322
01:21:42,878 --> 01:21:43,833
-Thanks.
-Good night.

1323
01:21:44,078 --> 01:21:45,113
Good night.

1324
01:21:48,438 --> 01:21:49,837
-Here you go.
-Thank you.

1325
01:21:50,078 --> 01:21:52,114
lf this dont work on my husband,
come back.

1326
01:21:52,358 --> 01:21:54,314
-Yes, maam. Thank you.
-See you.

1327
01:21:55,438 --> 01:21:58,157
Looks like somebodys husbands
coming home tonight.

1328
01:21:58,398 --> 01:22:01,117
When you work a seven-day stretch
on an oil rig...

1329
01:22:01,358 --> 01:22:03,633
...all you wanna do
on your day off is sleep.

1330
01:22:03,878 --> 01:22:07,029
But lm gonna do everything l can
to keep him up.

1331
01:22:07,278 --> 01:22:09,553
Anne Boleyn had six fingers.

1332
01:22:09,958 --> 01:22:11,232
Whos Anne Berlin?

1333
01:22:11,878 --> 01:22:15,553
Anne Boleyn. She was one
of the six wives of Henry Vlll.

1334
01:22:16,358 --> 01:22:18,349
l never watch public television.

1335
01:22:18,598 --> 01:22:20,907
She had six fingers.

1336
01:22:21,358 --> 01:22:23,314
What happened to the other four?

1337
01:22:23,558 --> 01:22:26,231
She had 1 1 total.

1338
01:22:26,478 --> 01:22:28,514
Are you trying to confuse me?

1339
01:22:28,758 --> 01:22:31,716
No. l just want to expose us...

1340
01:22:31,958 --> 01:22:33,630
...to a little more culture.

1341
01:22:33,878 --> 01:22:37,268
And thats not easy to come by
in this neck of the woods.

1342
01:22:38,798 --> 01:22:42,154
How about taking a theatre trip
to New York?

1343
01:22:42,438 --> 01:22:44,668
l dont wanna expose myself
to anything.

1344
01:22:44,918 --> 01:22:46,351
Broaden your horizons.

1345
01:22:46,598 --> 01:22:50,716
You broaden your horizons your way,
and l will broaden my horizons mine.

1346
01:22:50,958 --> 01:22:53,108
lm gonna support the arts
in this area.

1347
01:22:53,358 --> 01:22:56,236
lll write a check. l support art.
l dont have to see it.

1348
01:22:56,478 --> 01:22:58,469
lt wouldnt harelip you.

1349
01:22:58,918 --> 01:23:01,557
Can l get one thing straight with you?

1350
01:23:01,798 --> 01:23:05,837
l do not see plays,
because l can nap at home for free.

1351
01:23:06,318 --> 01:23:10,391
l dont see movies, because theyre
trash and got naked people in them.

1352
01:23:10,638 --> 01:23:14,028
l dont read books, because
theyll make them into a miniseries.

1353
01:23:14,478 --> 01:23:18,551
You would be a much more contented,
pleasant person...

1354
01:23:18,798 --> 01:23:21,756
...if you would find ways
to occupy your time.

1355
01:23:21,998 --> 01:23:23,431
l am pleasant!

1356
01:23:23,678 --> 01:23:26,636
Damn it! l just saw Drum Eatenton
at the Piggly-Wiggly...

1357
01:23:26,878 --> 01:23:30,791
...and l smiled at the son of a bitch
before l could help myself!

1358
01:23:35,758 --> 01:23:36,986
lm sorry, Miss Ouiser.

1359
01:23:37,238 --> 01:23:40,787
You take your Bible and shove it
where the sun doesnt shine.

1360
01:23:43,638 --> 01:23:45,230
Put it in Mommys pocket.

1361
01:23:45,478 --> 01:23:46,752
There we go.

1362
01:23:47,038 --> 01:23:50,587
Well zip you up, and well go
trick-or-treating right after dinner.

1363
01:23:50,838 --> 01:23:52,874
Lets go in and make some spaghetti.

1364
01:24:09,438 --> 01:24:11,952
Lets go call Daddy, okay?

1365
01:24:17,638 --> 01:24:19,117
Darling, lm home.

1366
01:24:26,158 --> 01:24:27,796
Whats the matter, pal?

1367
01:24:28,838 --> 01:24:29,793
What?

1368
01:24:32,038 --> 01:24:33,517
Whats the matter?

1369
01:24:40,518 --> 01:24:42,474
Okay, buddy.

1370
01:24:45,358 --> 01:24:46,154
Oh, my God.

1371
01:24:46,358 --> 01:24:48,314
Okay, baby, just wait right here.

1372
01:24:49,758 --> 01:24:51,077
Shelby? Baby?

1373
01:25:16,878 --> 01:25:18,755
--rejection of the kidney....

1374
01:25:29,638 --> 01:25:31,754
The coma may be irreversible.

1375
01:26:07,638 --> 01:26:09,629
-Good morning.
-Good morning, Gladys.

1376
01:26:09,958 --> 01:26:11,596
Were doing our Jane Fonda.

1377
01:26:11,838 --> 01:26:14,113
The exercises are good for her.

1378
01:26:16,358 --> 01:26:18,508
Heres the one where
youre holding him.

1379
01:26:19,278 --> 01:26:21,189
Youre looking at him,
hes looking at you...

1380
01:26:21,438 --> 01:26:23,827
...and then you all looked over at me.
Remember?

1381
01:26:24,438 --> 01:26:27,953
Open your eyes, Shelby.
Open your eyes. Look at him.

1382
01:26:28,678 --> 01:26:32,910
He wants you to open your eyes, Shelby.
He wants you to open your eyes.

1383
01:27:17,478 --> 01:27:18,911
Lesson Three:

1384
01:27:19,758 --> 01:27:21,510
Never be afraid...

1385
01:27:21,798 --> 01:27:24,312
...to try a brave new look.

1386
01:27:25,078 --> 01:27:27,308
Now, that could mean wearing...

1387
01:27:27,718 --> 01:27:29,356
...daring to wear...

1388
01:27:31,038 --> 01:27:34,747
...a sexy slip of a dress
that bares--

1389
01:27:40,078 --> 01:27:42,638
Honey, itll do you good
to get out for a while.

1390
01:27:43,278 --> 01:27:44,757
Eat a real dinner.

1391
01:27:49,438 --> 01:27:52,316
What if she wakes up for two minutes
and lm not here?

1392
01:27:56,518 --> 01:27:58,076
For example...

1393
01:27:58,918 --> 01:28:01,876
...we know where you can get
a top-of-the-line hairstyle--

1394
01:30:11,438 --> 01:30:12,951
Call Clairee.

1395
01:30:14,878 --> 01:30:17,676
Call Connollys Funeral Home.
lts the nicest.

1396
01:30:27,518 --> 01:30:29,713
Youre gonna have to get
her pink suit.

1397
01:30:31,238 --> 01:30:34,071
The one with the little red cherries
on the lapel.

1398
01:30:37,318 --> 01:30:38,797
Wheres Jack, Jr.?

1399
01:30:39,558 --> 01:30:40,911
Aunt Ferns.

1400
01:31:24,998 --> 01:31:25,987
Theres your grandma.

1401
01:31:39,118 --> 01:31:40,346
Pumpkin.

1402
01:32:09,718 --> 01:32:12,152
Does this tie go?

1403
01:32:18,918 --> 01:32:20,715
You look real nice.

1404
01:32:22,118 --> 01:32:24,427
Thought ld come to the funeral,
if you dont mind.

1405
01:32:25,718 --> 01:32:26,992
l dont mind.

1406
01:32:40,518 --> 01:32:42,588
l feel sorry for them, you know?

1407
01:32:43,798 --> 01:32:45,629
l mean, especially Jackson.

1408
01:32:47,878 --> 01:32:49,948
Losing Shelby like that.

1409
01:32:54,678 --> 01:32:56,475
lf that ever happened to me...

1410
01:32:59,278 --> 01:33:00,950
...l dont know what ld do.

1411
01:33:06,878 --> 01:33:10,314
A thing like this just
doesnt make any sense.

1412
01:33:11,398 --> 01:33:13,116
No sense at all.

1413
01:33:14,318 --> 01:33:16,434
l just think about what Annelle says:

1414
01:33:16,838 --> 01:33:19,750
The Lord works in mysterious ways.

1415
01:33:21,318 --> 01:33:22,876
What the hells this for?

1416
01:33:24,878 --> 01:33:25,993
lt makes you pretty.

1417
01:35:19,718 --> 01:35:21,436
Come on home, honey.

1418
01:35:37,958 --> 01:35:39,869
How you holding up, honey?

1419
01:35:42,718 --> 01:35:43,946
lm fine.

1420
01:35:45,478 --> 01:35:47,833
lt was a beautiful service.

1421
01:35:48,078 --> 01:35:52,151
The flowers were the most
beautiful flowers l have ever seen.

1422
01:35:52,798 --> 01:35:54,277
They were beautiful.

1423
01:35:59,998 --> 01:36:03,911
lt should make you feel a lot better
that Shelby is with her King.

1424
01:36:06,438 --> 01:36:08,394
Yes, Annelle, l guess it should.

1425
01:36:09,398 --> 01:36:12,595
-We should all be rejoicing.
-Well, you go on ahead.

1426
01:36:12,798 --> 01:36:15,517
lm sorry if l dont feel like it.
l guess lm selfish.

1427
01:36:15,758 --> 01:36:17,669
ld rather have her here.

1428
01:36:23,078 --> 01:36:26,070
l dont mean to upset you
by saying that.

1429
01:36:27,798 --> 01:36:29,311
lts just that...

1430
01:36:30,678 --> 01:36:33,351
...when something like this happens...

1431
01:36:33,798 --> 01:36:37,313
...l pray very hard to make
heads or tails of it.

1432
01:36:37,878 --> 01:36:40,346
And l think that in Shelbys case...

1433
01:36:40,598 --> 01:36:43,829
...she just wanted to take care
of that little baby...

1434
01:36:44,078 --> 01:36:47,388
...and of you, of everybody she knew.

1435
01:36:47,838 --> 01:36:50,750
And her poor little body was
just worn out.

1436
01:36:51,478 --> 01:36:55,517
lt just wouldnt let her do
all the things she wanted to.

1437
01:36:56,038 --> 01:36:59,189
So she went on to a place
where she could be...

1438
01:36:59,438 --> 01:37:01,394
...a guardian angel.

1439
01:37:02,318 --> 01:37:04,274
She will always be young.

1440
01:37:04,518 --> 01:37:06,793
She will always be beautiful.

1441
01:37:07,478 --> 01:37:12,154
And l personally feel much safer
knowing that shes up there on my side.

1442
01:37:14,518 --> 01:37:18,033
lt may sound real simple
and stupid and....

1443
01:37:18,758 --> 01:37:20,032
Well, maybe l am...

1444
01:37:20,278 --> 01:37:23,076
...but thats how l get through
things like this.

1445
01:37:27,318 --> 01:37:28,831
Thank you, Annelle.

1446
01:37:33,638 --> 01:37:35,071
l appreciate that.

1447
01:37:36,918 --> 01:37:39,034
And its a real good idea.

1448
01:37:40,158 --> 01:37:43,992
Shelby wouldnt want us
to get mired down and wallow in this.

1449
01:37:44,238 --> 01:37:47,150
We should handle it
the best way we know how...

1450
01:37:47,398 --> 01:37:48,717
...and get on with it.

1451
01:37:49,838 --> 01:37:51,829
Thats what my mind says.

1452
01:37:53,798 --> 01:37:56,028
l wish somebodyd explain it
to my heart.

1453
01:37:56,998 --> 01:37:59,637
Drum says you never left her side
for a second.

1454
01:38:02,478 --> 01:38:04,514
l couldnt leave my Shelby.

1455
01:38:05,358 --> 01:38:06,507
l just sat there...

1456
01:38:06,758 --> 01:38:10,797
...and kept on pushing the way l always
have where Shelby was concerned.

1457
01:38:12,358 --> 01:38:14,826
l was hoping shed sit up
and argue with me.

1458
01:38:17,078 --> 01:38:19,831
And finally we realized
there was no hope.

1459
01:38:22,518 --> 01:38:24,031
We turned off the machines.

1460
01:38:25,918 --> 01:38:28,034
Drum left. He couldnt take it.

1461
01:38:28,878 --> 01:38:30,311
Jackson left.

1462
01:38:33,478 --> 01:38:35,150
l find it amusing.

1463
01:38:35,958 --> 01:38:38,836
Men are supposed to be made out of
steel or something.

1464
01:38:41,918 --> 01:38:43,556
But l just sat there.

1465
01:38:45,678 --> 01:38:47,794
l just held Shelbys hand.

1466
01:38:50,798 --> 01:38:52,470
There was no noise.

1467
01:38:53,718 --> 01:38:55,037
No tremble.

1468
01:38:56,078 --> 01:38:58,194
Just peace.

1469
01:39:01,158 --> 01:39:02,637
Oh, God.

1470
01:39:03,678 --> 01:39:04,952
l realize...

1471
01:39:05,358 --> 01:39:07,792
...as a woman, how lucky l am.

1472
01:39:09,078 --> 01:39:13,788
l was there when that wonderful
creature drifted into my life.

1473
01:39:14,598 --> 01:39:16,907
And l was there when she drifted out.

1474
01:39:17,158 --> 01:39:20,230
lt was the most precious moment
of my life.

1475
01:39:27,478 --> 01:39:28,877
l gotta get back.

1476
01:39:29,478 --> 01:39:30,877
Has anybody got a mirror?

1477
01:39:31,118 --> 01:39:33,109
Does anybody have a mirror?

1478
01:39:34,438 --> 01:39:36,906
l dont know how youre doing
on the inside...

1479
01:39:37,158 --> 01:39:39,547
...but your hairs just
holding up beautiful.

1480
01:39:43,758 --> 01:39:45,555
Shelby was right.

1481
01:39:47,998 --> 01:39:50,034
This is a brown football helmet.

1482
01:39:50,918 --> 01:39:52,033
Honey, are you okay?

1483
01:39:52,278 --> 01:39:53,267
lm fine.

1484
01:39:53,518 --> 01:39:55,634
lm fine. lm fine.

1485
01:39:55,878 --> 01:39:57,357
lm fine!

1486
01:39:59,718 --> 01:40:02,232
l could jog all the way
to Texas and back...

1487
01:40:02,638 --> 01:40:04,993
...but my daughter cant.

1488
01:40:05,478 --> 01:40:07,070
She never could.

1489
01:40:07,318 --> 01:40:10,310
God! lm so mad,
l dont know what to do!

1490
01:40:10,558 --> 01:40:11,627
l wanna know why.

1491
01:40:11,838 --> 01:40:14,511
l wanna know why
Shelbys life is over.

1492
01:40:14,758 --> 01:40:18,751
l wanna know how that baby will ever
know how wonderful his mother was.

1493
01:40:18,998 --> 01:40:22,229
Will he ever know what she
went through for him?

1494
01:40:22,478 --> 01:40:25,072
Oh, God, l wanna know why!

1495
01:40:25,318 --> 01:40:26,717
Why?!

1496
01:40:27,438 --> 01:40:30,111
Lord, l wish l could understand.

1497
01:40:33,358 --> 01:40:34,837
lts not supposed to happen this way.

1498
01:40:35,078 --> 01:40:38,070
lm supposed to go first.
lve always been ready to go.

1499
01:40:39,318 --> 01:40:40,831
l dont think l can take this.

1500
01:40:41,078 --> 01:40:42,716
l dont think l can take this.

1501
01:40:42,958 --> 01:40:45,791
l just wanna hit somebody
till they feel as bad as l do.

1502
01:40:46,038 --> 01:40:48,996
l just wanna hit something.
l wanna hit it hard!

1503
01:40:50,398 --> 01:40:51,308
Here.

1504
01:40:51,878 --> 01:40:53,027
Hit this.

1505
01:40:53,638 --> 01:40:55,594
Go ahead. Slap her!

1506
01:40:55,798 --> 01:40:57,516
-Are you crazy?
-Hit her!

1507
01:40:57,758 --> 01:41:00,477
-Are you high, Clairee?
-Have you lost your mind?

1508
01:41:00,718 --> 01:41:04,597
Well sell T-shirts saying,
l Slapped Ouiser Boudreaux !

1509
01:41:04,798 --> 01:41:05,674
Hit her!

1510
01:41:05,878 --> 01:41:07,072
Miss Clairee, enough.

1511
01:41:07,438 --> 01:41:11,670
Ouiser, this is your chance to do
something for your fellow man.

1512
01:41:11,958 --> 01:41:13,232
Knock her lights out!

1513
01:41:13,438 --> 01:41:14,951
Let go of me!

1514
01:41:15,318 --> 01:41:18,993
You missed the chance of a lifetime.
Half of Chinquapin would give...

1515
01:41:19,198 --> 01:41:21,507
...their eyeteeth
to take a whack at Ouiser.

1516
01:41:31,078 --> 01:41:33,148
You are a pig from hell!

1517
01:41:37,478 --> 01:41:39,070
Ouiser, dont leave!

1518
01:41:39,798 --> 01:41:41,914
l was just kidding. Come back!

1519
01:41:46,438 --> 01:41:48,508
That was not a very
Christian thing to do.

1520
01:41:48,758 --> 01:41:50,988
Annelle, you gotta lighten up.

1521
01:42:27,358 --> 01:42:28,347
Go away.

1522
01:42:28,598 --> 01:42:31,670
Okay, all right. Hit me, then.
l deserve it.

1523
01:42:31,918 --> 01:42:34,068
You are evil,
and you must be destroyed.

1524
01:42:34,318 --> 01:42:37,310
Mother Natures taking care of that
faster than you could.

1525
01:42:37,558 --> 01:42:40,311
Things were getting entirely
too serious for a moment.

1526
01:42:40,558 --> 01:42:41,957
We needed to laugh.

1527
01:42:43,798 --> 01:42:46,358
l bet Lloyd got a kick out of it.

1528
01:42:46,958 --> 01:42:51,315
Lloyd got a great deal of enjoyment
at my expense when he was alive.

1529
01:42:52,478 --> 01:42:55,550
You know l love you
more than my luggage.

1530
01:43:07,758 --> 01:43:09,555
This is my bench.

1531
01:43:09,878 --> 01:43:11,789
Get off my bench!

1532
01:43:12,518 --> 01:43:14,793
Get off my--!
Good. Now, sit.

1533
01:43:15,038 --> 01:43:17,996
You are too twisted for colour TV.

1534
01:43:19,278 --> 01:43:21,075
Have your roots done.

1535
01:43:26,478 --> 01:43:29,993
l shouldnt have gone on
the way l did. l made everybody cry.

1536
01:43:30,238 --> 01:43:33,514
Dont be silly. Laughter through
tears is my favourite emotion.

1537
01:43:33,758 --> 01:43:35,032
Thanks, Annelle.

1538
01:43:35,278 --> 01:43:38,315
Maybe l should have
an emotional outburst more often.

1539
01:43:38,558 --> 01:43:40,549
Maybe l should start
having them at home.

1540
01:43:40,798 --> 01:43:42,436
Drum would be so pleased.

1541
01:43:46,238 --> 01:43:49,355
Well, lm glad to see
the two of you made up.

1542
01:43:49,598 --> 01:43:51,748
Ouiser can never stay mad at me.

1543
01:43:51,998 --> 01:43:54,876
She worships the quicksand l walk on.

1544
01:44:00,278 --> 01:44:01,472
Youre in my prayers.

1545
01:44:08,038 --> 01:44:10,313
Yes, Annelle, l pray.

1546
01:44:12,278 --> 01:44:15,475
Well, l do. There, l said it.
l hope youre satisfied.

1547
01:44:15,718 --> 01:44:17,834
l have suspected this all along.

1548
01:44:18,038 --> 01:44:21,474
Dont you expect me to come
to one of your churches.

1549
01:44:21,718 --> 01:44:25,347
Those tent revivals with those
Bible-beaters doing God-knows-what.

1550
01:44:25,598 --> 01:44:28,271
Theyd probably make me eat
a live chicken.

1551
01:44:28,798 --> 01:44:30,231
Not on your first visit.

1552
01:44:31,358 --> 01:44:33,110
Very good, Annelle.

1553
01:44:33,358 --> 01:44:35,747
Spoken like a true smart-ass.

1554
01:44:40,598 --> 01:44:43,590
What are you doing?
Are you eating my picture?

1555
01:44:54,398 --> 01:44:55,831
Lets get in the swing.

1556
01:44:56,278 --> 01:44:57,711
Get our feets in there.

1557
01:44:57,958 --> 01:44:58,868
There we go.

1558
01:44:59,398 --> 01:45:00,831
Hold on.

1559
01:45:09,438 --> 01:45:12,555
l dont know if this is
the right time or place...

1560
01:45:12,798 --> 01:45:14,356
...but l wanted to tell you...

1561
01:45:14,598 --> 01:45:17,431
...that Sammy and l have decided
if this babys a girl...

1562
01:45:17,678 --> 01:45:19,555
...wed like to name it Shelby...

1563
01:45:19,918 --> 01:45:23,115
...since she was the reason we met
in the first place.

1564
01:45:23,358 --> 01:45:24,393
lf you dont mind.

1565
01:45:24,638 --> 01:45:25,912
Shelby would love that.

1566
01:45:27,838 --> 01:45:29,430
lm tickled pink.

1567
01:45:32,398 --> 01:45:33,467
Pink.

1568
01:45:33,878 --> 01:45:37,314
What are you gonna name it
if it happens to be a boy?

1569
01:45:38,358 --> 01:45:40,076
Shelby, l guess.

1570
01:45:40,918 --> 01:45:42,670
Thats how it should be.

1571
01:45:43,078 --> 01:45:44,591
Life goes on.

1572
01:46:21,998 --> 01:46:24,637
lve never been so uncomfortable
in all my life.

1573
01:46:24,878 --> 01:46:28,553
Well talk about  uncomfortable
when youre nine months pregnant.

1574
01:46:31,078 --> 01:46:33,831
Keep those eyes closed,
or lll staple them shut.

1575
01:46:34,078 --> 01:46:36,148
-Theyre closed!
-Keep them closed.

1576
01:46:36,918 --> 01:46:38,317
-Now?
-Ready?

1577
01:46:40,998 --> 01:46:42,226
Keep them shut.

1578
01:46:42,758 --> 01:46:44,396
-Open them up.
-All right.

1579
01:46:46,758 --> 01:46:48,396
l dont believe it!

1580
01:46:48,598 --> 01:46:49,951
lm a chain!

1581
01:46:54,318 --> 01:46:56,229
-Jesus!
-Lighten up.

1582
01:46:56,998 --> 01:46:59,353
Now, you just burst through
those bushes...

1583
01:46:59,598 --> 01:47:01,828
...and hop over to
where the kids are, okay?

1584
01:47:02,078 --> 01:47:04,273
What bushes? l cant see shit!

1585
01:47:04,518 --> 01:47:05,633
Over there.

1586
01:47:06,158 --> 01:47:07,511
Over there.

1587
01:47:07,718 --> 01:47:10,027
lm an adult.
lm not a 5-year-old!

1588
01:47:10,238 --> 01:47:13,150
On your mark. Get set. Go!

1589
01:47:13,878 --> 01:47:17,507
Okay, Jack, Jr.
lm gonna tell you a story.

1590
01:47:19,558 --> 01:47:23,312
Once upon a time, there was
a beautiful young gal...

1591
01:47:23,558 --> 01:47:24,991
...named Shelby.

1592
01:47:25,598 --> 01:47:28,317
And Shelby had a lovely, kind...

1593
01:47:28,558 --> 01:47:32,187
...and wonderful good fairy named...

1594
01:47:32,438 --> 01:47:33,837
...Clairee.

1595
01:47:34,758 --> 01:47:37,113
But there was also a horrible...

1596
01:47:37,358 --> 01:47:40,191
...evil, ugly witch named...

1597
01:47:40,438 --> 01:47:41,666
...Ouiser.

1598
01:47:41,878 --> 01:47:44,028
l hate these stupid
neighbourhood things.

1599
01:47:44,278 --> 01:47:46,667
No ones twisting your arm
to keep you here.

1600
01:47:46,918 --> 01:47:48,795
Well, l have to be sociable.

1601
01:47:50,758 --> 01:47:52,510
Rhetts here.

1602
01:47:54,638 --> 01:47:56,549
Lets connect the bald spots.

1603
01:47:58,398 --> 01:47:59,990
Eat shit and die.

1604
01:48:00,238 --> 01:48:01,148
Hello, MLynn.

1605
01:48:03,118 --> 01:48:05,393
Good to see you too, Ouiser, Owen.

1606
01:48:07,678 --> 01:48:09,316
Come on, Rhett! Kill, kill!

1607
01:48:09,558 --> 01:48:10,354
Quit it, Drum.

1608
01:48:10,558 --> 01:48:12,435
Stop egging him on.

1609
01:48:15,758 --> 01:48:18,795
And everyone lived happily ever after.

1610
01:48:19,718 --> 01:48:23,108
And the nasty, wicked,
evil, wretched...

1611
01:48:23,358 --> 01:48:25,997
...horrible, mean Ouiser...

1612
01:48:26,478 --> 01:48:28,628
...was never heard from again.

1613
01:48:29,358 --> 01:48:32,316
Now, its almost time
for the Easter Bunny.

1614
01:48:32,558 --> 01:48:34,071
Run on down.

1615
01:48:49,358 --> 01:48:51,269
Hi, Jack! You remember me?

1616
01:48:51,478 --> 01:48:52,877
lts your old pal Ouiser.

1617
01:48:57,638 --> 01:48:59,310
Just a second. lts Jackson.

1618
01:48:59,718 --> 01:49:01,436
Jack, come here!

1619
01:49:10,758 --> 01:49:12,271
ls he all right?

1620
01:49:12,518 --> 01:49:14,270
Yes, hes all right.

1621
01:49:25,958 --> 01:49:27,835
Honey, its okay. lts okay.

1622
01:49:28,078 --> 01:49:30,546
Women have babies every day.

1623
01:49:30,798 --> 01:49:33,631
Jonathan, quick!
Get that Easter Bunny over here now.

1624
01:49:33,878 --> 01:49:35,675
-Tommy, wheres Sammy?
-Over there.

1625
01:49:35,918 --> 01:49:37,795
-Excuse me.
-Why? Whats going on?

1626
01:49:38,038 --> 01:49:41,348
Oh, my God! Shes gonna have a baby.
Go get a doctor!

1627
01:49:41,598 --> 01:49:43,634
Help! A doctor!

1628
01:49:43,838 --> 01:49:45,157
This way, this way.

1629
01:49:48,398 --> 01:49:49,513
Get her in.

1630
01:49:51,358 --> 01:49:52,837
Well find Sammy.

1631
01:49:54,038 --> 01:49:56,472
lts all right, honey.
Well get Sammy.

1632
01:50:10,838 --> 01:50:12,317
Come on, Sammy!

1633
01:50:13,558 --> 01:50:15,071
Get your tail hopping!

1634
01:53:14,756 --> 01:53:19,063
DVD Subtitles:
-klepal-