1
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,747
(GIRL MOANING)
2
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:37,120
Come inside, take off your coat.
3
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,376
I'll make you feel at home
4
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,378
(GIRL BREATHING HEAVILY)
5
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,050
Now let's pour a glass of wine
6
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,469
'Cause now we're all alone
7
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,972
(GIRL CONTINUES MOANING)
8
00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,718
Oh, my God!
9
00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:59,644
Girl you make me feel real good.
10
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,194
That's right.
11
00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:03,568
What's up?
12
00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:05,490
Oh, my God.
13
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,910
My mom was so right.
14
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,238
Nice guys really do
eat the best pussy.
15
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,618
I'm not really sure how to
interpret that. Thank you?
16
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:13,870
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God.
17
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,917
How are you so good at that?
18
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,586
I'll let you in
on a trade secret.
19
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:20,460
I actually write a short story
with my tongue every time I do it.
20
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,541
It follows this young kid
21
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,422
who finds this
alien in the woods
22
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,344
with all these
Reese's Pieces and stuff.
23
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,514
And he learns that
aliens are just no different.
24
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:29,715
You just can
connect with anyone.
25
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:33,974
It's kind of like E.
T., only with a lot more going down on chicks.
26
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,144
Cool beans.
27
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:36,267
Yeah, cool beans.
28
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,189
Definitely. Cool little
frozen beans.
29
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,357
Yeah.
30
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,185
All right, so...
31
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,236
Thank you for coming.
Thank you.
32
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,985
Yeah, we should, uh...
33
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,107
We should probably...
Yeah, you should probably go.
34
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,533
Switch places.
35
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,031
What's that?
36
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,529
(LAUGHS)
37
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,205
I figured...
Don't you have to go?
38
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:58,332
No, no, I just figured because
I made "mouth love" to you
39
00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:02,756
that maybe you could return the favor.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
40
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,295
What?
41
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,047
Maybe toss a BJ my way.
42
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,878
If you have time.
43
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,714
Um, my stomach is
super-iffy right now.
44
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:14,347
I think I got food poisoning.
45
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:15,928
Baby.
46
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:20,687
So I'm just in no condition
to blow you right now, Noah.
47
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,689
No, yeah, that's cool.
Okay.
48
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:25,612
Sorry. Next time, sweetie.
49
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,236
Are you sure you don't
want to come over tonight?
50
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,317
There's this thing called
a geomagnetic storm.
51
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,495
It's really cool
and rare, actually.
52
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,322
It's like
an astronomical explosion
53
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:37,157
in the sky of all
these beautiful colors.
54
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,084
Whoa! (LAUGHS)
55
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,082
Kind of like
Mother Nature's fireworks.
56
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,038
It happens, like, almost never.
57
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,839
Like I said,
I'm just not feeling good.
58
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,134
But thank you so much
for going down on me.
59
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:51,555
Oh, yeah. You're really good
at, um, getting going down on,
60
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,473
getting downed on,
61
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:54,970
so you should be proud
of that as well.
62
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,427
Okay, cool. You da man!
63
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,853
You da man.
64
00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,351
Peace. You're
the best, sweetie.
65
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,524
Don't stop believing in
yourself, okay, Maris?
66
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,897
Uncle Ricky, could you
read us a bedtime story?
67
00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,856
Please, huh, please?
68
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,195
Here we go.
69
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,371
Once upon a time, not long ago.
70
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,869
Where people wore pajamas
and lived life slow.
71
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:21,168
Where laws were stern
and justice stood.
72
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:23,416
And people were behavin'
like they ought to good.
73
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,623
There lived a little boy
who was misled.
74
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,084
By another little boy
and this is what he said.
75
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,464
Me and you Tike,
we're gonna make some cash.
76
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,888
Robbin' old folks
and makin' the dash.
77
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,182
They did the job,
money came with ease.
78
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,305
But one couldn't stop,
it's like he had a disease.
79
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,853
He robbed another and another
and a sister and a brother.
80
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:42,226
Tried to rob a man
who was a D. T. undercover.
81
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,433
The cop grabbed his arm,
he started actin' erratic.
82
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,860
He said, "Keep still boy,
no need for static".
83
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,150
Punched him in his belly
and gave him a slap.
84
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,527
But little did he know,
the little boy was strapped.
85
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,075
The kid pulled outta gun,
he said, "Why'd you hit me?".
86
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:56,245
The barrel was set straight
for the cop's kidney.
87
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,663
Ran up the stairs
up to the top floor.
88
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,867
Opened up a door,
there guess who he saw.
89
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:03,085
Dave, the dope fiend
shootin' dope.
90
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,413
Who don't know the meaning
of water nor soap?
91
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,793
He said, "I need bullets,
hurry up, run ".
92
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,171
The dope fiend rolled back
a spankin' shot gun.
93
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,594
This ain't funny,
so don't ya dare laugh.
94
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,922
Just another case
about the wrong path.
95
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,679
Straight and narrow
or your soul gets cast.
96
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,472
Good night.
97
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,349
Yo, Mom, what's up?
98
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,480
Noah!
99
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,153
Where were you?
Were you out with that girl again?
100
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,821
Yeah, but she's not
"that girl," okay?
101
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:34,150
We're in a relationship.
It's legit.
102
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:36,326
So have you started
looking for a job yet?
103
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,995
I can't afford to have you
sitting around all day.
104
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:43,951
You're in a period of stasis.
Just a stage of stasis.
105
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,081
Sorry.
106
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,788
You sure you don't
want that beer now?
107
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,919
Or maybe something stronger?
I have absinthe.
108
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,589
Why can't we hit up Dad?
He owes us 10 years of alimony.
109
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:53,961
Oh, look, kiddo.
110
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:57,218
If you're looking for a handout,
think again times 10.
111
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,720
That guy's a diamond dealer.
He has crazy cash.
112
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,393
Why'd you marry
such an A-hole?
113
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,475
That A-hole gave me the
greatest gift in the world.
114
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:05,726
Crabs?
115
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,857
He gave me you.
116
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,981
Okay.
(LAUGHS)
117
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,186
So, tell me, what do you think?
118
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:12,737
Do I look okay?
You look amazing.
119
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,690
Why are you so
concerned with your outfit?
120
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,616
Mrs. Pedulla is introducing
me to a surgeon
121
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,406
at the fundraiser at
the Historical Society.
122
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,657
Okay.
123
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,238
She thinks we're going
to hit it off. Nice.
124
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,198
Well, don't give
it up too easily.
125
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:24,658
Give what up?
What?
126
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,618
Give what up?
What did...
127
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,120
What the hell are
you talking about?
128
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,204
I don't know.
129
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,834
Have fun. I love you. Okay?
I love you.
130
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,419
(KISSING)
131
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,010
Hey, Mom.
Yeah.
132
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,928
I think you're going to
have a really great night,
133
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,005
and you look beautiful.
134
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,091
Oh. From your lips
to God's ears.
135
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:44,553
Scientists are predicting a giant
storm over the city tonight.
136
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,855
A geomagnetic storm, that is.
137
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,898
Caused by flare-ups on the
sun, (PHONE RINGING)
138
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:50,692
this rare storm affects
the Earth's magnetic field...
139
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,020
Noah, can you get the phone?
140
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,197
Mom, the phone's ringing!
141
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:57,650
Noah, please get the phone!
142
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,993
Mom, the phone's ringing!
Do you hear it?
143
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:03,284
Noah, can't you think about somebody
else besides yourself for once?
144
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,365
No, I totally was.
That's why I said the phone was ringing.
145
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,700
I was letting you
know that it was ringing.
146
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,911
Yeah. I'm thrilled
about tonight.
147
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,923
You flip, but they flop.
You flip, but they flop!
148
00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,046
What? Oh, is that right?
149
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,923
NOAH: They perfected
the pancake?
150
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,219
A rain check?
151
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,421
It's a perfect pancake!
152
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,177
No, that's fine.
It's perfect.
153
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,426
Mom, tell whoever's
on the phone
154
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:24,634
that there's a perfect pancake.
155
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,557
Thanks.
156
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,268
I'm not going after all.
157
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,940
What? Why?
158
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:34,395
The Pedullas' sitter
canceled at the last minute.
159
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,315
What?
160
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:40,901
Do I have shit on my face?
161
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,237
Come on. Don't tell me
you can't use the money.
162
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,618
Are you crazy?
No. I'm not Mary Poppins.
163
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,450
I'm not gonna be a babysitter.
I'm an adult man.
164
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,252
Okay? Babysitting sucks.
Adult men don't babysit things.
165
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,922
Oh, Noah, you're
wonderful with children!
166
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,417
You know, never mind.
167
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:01,175
Who am I kidding?
Finding a guy at my age is ridiculous.
168
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:05,259
I'm going to change
my dress. (EXHALES)
169
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,894
What are you in
the mood for? Chinese?
170
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,809
(SIGHS) Oh, come on.
171
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,640
(RINGS DOORBELL)
172
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,059
NOAH: Ding-dong!
173
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,526
Noah!
174
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,697
Mrs. Pedulla.
175
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,525
It's so good to see you!
176
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,531
Oh, my gosh.
177
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,659
Get over... Bring it in for a hug, babe.
What are we doing?
178
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:30,459
God, I haven't see you since
you were, like, 15.
179
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,537
Yeah. So Dr. Pedulla, he's still alive?
You two are still together?
180
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:34,955
Um...
181
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,882
Oh! That's my kind
of TV, right there.
182
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,305
Yeah, well, feel free to
watch anything you want.
183
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,597
Cool.
Yeah.
184
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,091
Hey, Slater?
185
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,642
Anyway, honey, this is Noah.
He's going to be babysitting tonight.
186
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,476
What happened to Nancy?
187
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:53,647
Honey, we talked about this.
188
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,851
Nancy has a urinary
tract infection, okay?
189
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,732
Is Clayton coming over tonight?
190
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,405
No, Mom. His tarantula
died from parasites,
191
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,823
and now he's in mourning.
192
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,024
Well, you're in luck, Noah.
193
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,327
The two of them
together are just trouble.
194
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,075
Hey. That's not true.
195
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,032
Why do you say that?
You're always attacking us!
196
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,914
Honey, lam not attacking you.
197
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,620
Okay? Calm down.
198
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,538
(PHONE RINGING)
199
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,623
You know what?
I'll be right back. Yeah.
200
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,750
Okay? Excuse me
just one second.
201
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,086
Hello?
202
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,259
NOAH: Hey, what are
you watching?
203
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,430
Just watching some gymnastics.
204
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,553
Cool.
205
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,634
Hey, how old are you, man?
206
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,851
Thirteen.
207
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:31,928
Thirteen?
208
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,936
What am I doing here?
Why aren't you babysitting yourself?
209
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,232
I'm not a babysitter, okay?
210
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:37,479
Yeah, neither am I.
211
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,897
If you would just
man up and babysit,
212
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,196
I wouldn't have to be here tonight.
I could be out having fun.
213
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,444
I have severe anxiety issues.
214
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,609
And my doctor,
he says that I can't
215
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,616
handle any kind
of responsibility,
216
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,619
or else I could just snap
(SNAPS FINGERS)
217
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,041
at any moment.
218
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,252
Jesus Christ, man. Relax.
219
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:58,204
Okay. Sorry.
220
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,256
Slater, nice to meet you.
221
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:03,050
All right, should we go upstairs?
Bye, honey.
222
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,303
NOAH: We're gonna have
some fun tonight, pal.
223
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,422
(SINGING)
Roll back nice and easy.
224
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:10,099
Keep your breath inside
so you don't get wheezy.
225
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,598
Honey! What did Mommy tell you
about the mascara? Put it down.
226
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:13,849
You said I
could play dress-up.
227
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,054
Yeah, I said you
could play dress-up,
228
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,230
not make yourself
look like a hooker.
229
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,353
Look at you!
230
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,610
(LAUGHS) My daughter
Blithe is going through
231
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,983
this whole "celebutante" phase.
232
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,906
It's kind of unfortunate,
but it's a fad.
233
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,073
That's what they
do in the schools.
234
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,992
It'll pass.I don't know
where they come from.
235
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,069
Kids, right?
236
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,153
Yeah, kids.
237
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,863
Are you the babysitter?
238
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:33,948
Why, in fact, I am.
I'm Noah.
239
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,409
Noah. That's your name?
240
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,539
Yeah.
241
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,040
That's a super-hot name.
242
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,120
What?
243
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:42,128
Honey, it's not hot.
It's just his name.
244
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,756
Mom, trust me.
It's a hot name.
245
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:46,636
It's actually biblical.
246
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,304
The Bible's a hot book.
247
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,890
Sometimes I like
to get dressed up
248
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,308
and wear my mom's makeup, Noah.
249
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:53,851
That's cool.
I was thinking
250
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,679
we could dress you up
like a princess.
251
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,851
No, I don't think,
uh... (LAUGHS)
252
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:58,932
No, honey.
253
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,608
Maybe not tonight.
SLATER: Mom!
254
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:01,935
Excuse me just one second.
255
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,190
Yeah, see you in a sec.
256
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,397
Hey, Noah. I have
a little surprise for you.
257
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,572
Cool. Thanks. What is it?
258
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:09,860
Do you like to smell pretty?
259
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,570
Do I like to what? (YELLS)
260
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,076
(COUGHING) Oh, my God!
You got it right in my mouth!
261
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,782
Why'd you do that?
(BLITHE GIGGLING)
262
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,367
You just spit on my carpet!
263
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,793
And you just sprayed perfume
in my mouth!
264
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:19,915
What's your problem?
265
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:23,624
My real babysitter, Nancy, she
plays with me when she babysits.
266
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,879
She does what I want her
to do, Princess Noah!
267
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,427
You know what?
268
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,379
(WHISPERING) I'm gonna let
you in on a little secret.
269
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,966
I'm not a real babysitter.
(FAKE GASPS)
270
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,016
(WHISPERING) Shocking.
271
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,265
I'm more of a sit-on-the-couch,
eat-a-burrito,
272
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,688
do-whatever-L say-or-I'll-Kill-you
type of babysitter.
273
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:41,266
That's my style, blood.
You understand?
274
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,022
Well, I want to
wear sparkly things,
275
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,774
shiny things,
and glittery stuff
276
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:47,527
to my favorite
hot nightclub, okay?
277
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,949
(MIMICKING)
278
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,326
Motherfuck!
279
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,619
You guys okay in here?
280
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,072
What's up? Yeah, no, yeah,
281
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,704
I'm just hanging with this
little angel right here.
282
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:58,999
Yeah, we're just chillin'.
283
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,085
(QUIETLY) That's funny.
Your breath is really flowery.
284
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,538
Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.
285
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:03,997
Yeah.
286
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,297
Okay, should we go downstairs?
287
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,590
Yeah, cool.
288
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,386
ANNOUNCER: Tonight's main
event features crowd favorite.
289
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:13,510
Ricky Fontaine
versus Dustin MacMillan.
290
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:15,846
MRS. PEDULLA: Rodrigo!
291
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:19,145
What did I tell you about
fireworks in the house?
292
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:21,643
And can you shut off the
Kickboxing for one night, please?
293
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:24,101
Say, um, hola to Noah.
294
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,269
(HISSING)
295
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,857
We just adopted him
from El Salvador last year
296
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,488
and, you know, he's going
through some transitions.
297
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,035
NOAH: Okay, cool.
MRS. PEDULLA: Okay, well,
298
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,862
we'll see you later, all right?
299
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,451
Besos.
300
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,449
Sweet kid.
Yeah.
301
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,079
He's a cutie pie.
302
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,127
(OMINOUS COWBOY
MUSIC PLAYING)
303
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:52,052
You kind of have to
watch out for Rodrigo.
304
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,472
He has a habit of running away.
305
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,844
Here, hold on to this.
306
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:59,053
We sewed a GPS chip into his jacket
so we could keep track of him.
307
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,388
It's kind of like
a LoJack for kids.
308
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,769
Cool. It's just like
a little dot
309
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,067
that follows him,
like a fugitive.
310
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,315
Hey, honey, we're running late!
Let's go!
311
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,441
So...
312
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,567
DR. PEDULLA: In a minute.
313
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:13,491
All of our information is
in here, under the blue tab.
314
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,568
There's some frozen pizzas
and pudding in the fridge,
315
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,575
and we'll be at the Historical
Society if you need us.
316
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,997
Cool.
317
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,074
Someone smells wonderful!
318
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,831
I believe that's Noah's mouth.
You remember Noah.
319
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,420
I understand you
were cited recently
320
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,917
for driving
under the influence.
321
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,670
Needless to say, our cars
are off-limits to you.
322
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,343
Okay, no cars. Got it.
323
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,420
We'll be back
no later than 1:00.
324
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,098
Earlier's good for me,
too, so hurry home.
325
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,096
And thank you!
Thank you, sweetheart.
326
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:42,770
What the fuck am I doing here?
327
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,349
I come in peace.
328
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,686
And you go in pieces, asshole.
329
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,200
What's up, little man?
330
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,783
(OMINOUS COWBOY
MUSIC PLAYING)
331
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,284
What'd you do that for?
332
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,706
You clean it.
333
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,079
You clean it.
334
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,292
Fucking weirdo.
BLITHE: Hey, Noah!
335
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:10,044
How's that perfume taste?
336
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,044
Rodrigo, what is
your deal? Stop!
337
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,880
Can we go to a club tonight?
This place is so dead.
338
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,465
No.
339
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,721
Don't you just want to
go dancing or something?
340
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,475
Rodrigo, seriously,
what is your deal? Stop!
341
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,729
I'm trying to watch TV with
JonBenet Ramsey over here.
342
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,399
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)
343
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,032
That's uncomfortable.
344
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,279
Do you want to
hear some gossip?
345
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,905
I got some hot gossip.
346
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:39,986
I'm okay, actually.
347
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,993
I'm trying to watch this, if
you (SHUSHING) could be quiet.
348
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,415
Give it.
349
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,869
I'm watching this, so can you
guys just be quiet, please?
350
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:48,953
Thank you.
351
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,835
(WHISPERING) I know
a secret nobody else knows.
352
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,915
(DOORBELL RINGING)
353
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,007
Oh, what's up, twins?
Ls Slater home?
354
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,838
Is he here?
Yeah, oh, my God!
355
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:00,594
Slater!
356
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,392
You got the two redrum chicks from
The Shining here to see you!
357
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,020
Slater's a cool guy.
358
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,517
TWIN 2: We go to
school together.
359
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:08,849
Oh, my God!
360
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,183
Take care.
361
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,859
Hi, Slater!
362
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,857
Wendy Sapperstein is having
her Bat Mitzvah tonight,
363
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,109
and she said it was okay if
some boys wanted to crash it.
364
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,862
But we only want
the super-cute boys.
365
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,567
I don't know if
I could make it tonight.
366
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,698
My parents aren't home,
367
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,746
and I'm not really
supposed to go anywhere.
368
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,539
Well, if you want to come,
you can text us.
369
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,662
Yeah, text us, definitely.
370
00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:27,708
Okay.
371
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,331
I'll see you later, guys.
372
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,912
TWIN 1: Okay, cool!
373
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,038
(PHONE RINGING)
374
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,088
What's cooking,
good-looking?
375
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:35,883
You know what?
I'm at a party.
376
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,710
Party? I thought you
had food poisoning.
377
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,046
I did, and then
Steph called me,
378
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,300
and she invited
me to this party.
379
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,638
Do you want to come?
Damn!
380
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,133
I'm doing something
for my mom right now.
381
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,640
I really,
really want to see you.
382
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:50,231
I'm actually, like,
super-horny for you,
383
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,900
and I was thinking
we could have sex.
384
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,319
Like intercourse sex?
385
00:14:55,395 --> 00:15:00,447
Yeah, like full-on
vaginal sex.
386
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:01,993
(NOAH CLEARING THROAT)
387
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,742
Yeah, I think I can work something out.
Yeah. For sure.
388
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:05,868
Awesome.
389
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:09,247
Listen, will you do me a favor and
pick up some coke on your way?
390
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:13,000
Yeah, sure. Do you want anything
else, like beer, mixers?
391
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,422
(LAUGHS) No, I mean, like
392
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:15,919
(IN SING-SONG) coke!
393
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,250
You mean blow?
394
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,257
I thought you were done with that stuff.
That stuff's bad news.
395
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,680
I am done with it.
It's not for me. It's for Steph,
396
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,757
and it's her birthday.
She asked me for it.
397
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,434
I'm just trying to be a
really good friend about it.
398
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,352
I don't even know where I'd
get something like that.
399
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,686
Just call Karl.
400
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:30,854
Who's Karl?
401
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,853
He's just a super-awesome guy
who sells me drugs.
402
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,856
Used to sell me drugs.
403
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,154
(EXHALING) Noah...
404
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,282
I only have 150 bucks.
405
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:42,779
That's more than enough.
406
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,702
Just ask for one ticket,
and he'll hook it up.
407
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:49,450
Leave me alone, asshole!
I'm on the phone with my boyfriend.
408
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,538
Did you just call me
your boyfriend?
409
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,837
Yeah, I guess I did.
So are you coming or not?
410
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:59,543
Hello? Are you there?
411
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,887
Yeah. Fuck it. I'm in.
412
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:09,977
Holy shit balls.
413
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,474
A minivan.
414
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,477
That car's not hot at all.
415
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:14,978
NOAH: As much as
I hate to do this,
416
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,400
we're going on
a little field trip.
417
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,736
(KIDS SHOUTING)
418
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:26,243
(KIDS CONTINUE SHOUTING)
419
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:30,160
What is your deal?
Why are you wearing so much makeup?
420
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,833
(SINGING) Looking real fly
on my way to the club.
421
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:35,583
Gonna dance all night
and get fucked up.
422
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,414
BLITHE: Say whatever you want.
I know I look good.
423
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,670
All right, one of you guys
has to hop up here with me.
424
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:41,842
I'm not your chauffeur.
425
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,636
What if you hit
somebody or something?
426
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,721
I mean, it's safer for children
to be in the back seat.
427
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,924
You are such a bitch.
Grow a set of nuts.
428
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,805
I beat him for you.
429
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,511
Get his ass.
Guys.
430
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,972
Not again.
Stop being such children.
431
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,682
Hit him in the face, dawg!
Go away.
432
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,483
Stop it.
One thing about Rodrigo.
433
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,606
He's not a bitch,
I'll tell you that much.
434
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,771
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
435
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:22,709
(LAUGHING) Slater, seriously,
436
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,089
tell me you are not
wearing a fanny pack.
437
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,887
Tell me I'm imagining that and
that's not what I'm actually seeing.
438
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,306
I need it to carry my pills.
439
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,975
Why do you take
those pills anyway?
440
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,973
I already told you,
I have issues.
441
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,178
Issues?
442
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:35,855
You look like a Gap model!
443
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,682
When I was your age,
I had a mouth full of braces
444
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,733
and a face like
a Papa John's pizza.
445
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,152
Those are real issues, my man.
446
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,399
Whatever.
447
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,402
BLITHE: I've got a good idea.
Why don't we go to a dance club?
448
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,573
Why don't we play a game?
449
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:47,821
Like Spin the Bottle?
450
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,026
No, not like Spin the Bottle,
451
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,738
like a little game I invented
called the Shut-the-Fuck-Up Game.
452
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:55,249
First person not to shut the
fuck up loses. Ready? Go.
453
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,166
(FARTING)
454
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,791
(GROANS) Come on, Rodrigo,
you just lost, buddy.
455
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,876
It was not me.
456
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,049
(GIGGLING)
457
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,129
NOAH: Slater,
that's disgusting.
458
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,589
Didn't your parents teach
you not to fart in the car?
459
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:10,844
You just crop-dusted me.
460
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,140
No, that was not me.
461
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,476
Uh-oh.
What's "uh-oh"?
462
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,520
It was me. I pooted.
463
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,224
I don't think it
was just a poot-poot.
464
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,147
I sharted.
(ALL EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)
465
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,569
NOAH: Come on!
466
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:34,159
(SINGING) When you're shopping
It's super-cool.
467
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,582
Hey, Noah. Oh, my God,
isn't this shirt so cute?
468
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:37,909
Oh, it's super-cute!
469
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,209
Can you get it for me?
470
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,287
Yeah! Of course.
I'll get you anything you want.
471
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,542
Seriously?
No.
472
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,215
Here, put these on.
473
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,089
They're green.
I wouldn't be caught dead in these.
474
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,420
Don't shit your
pants next time.
475
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,721
Dressing room's over there.
Clean up, or whatever.
476
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:51,922
Can I help you, sir?
477
00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:53,098
Huh?
478
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:54,426
Can I help you?
479
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:55,725
I'm just waiting for somebody.
480
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:56,969
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
481
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,220
Yup!
482
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:01,395
(FAKE LAUGHING)
483
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:03,397
No. I'm just waiting
for somebody.
484
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,229
That's pretty weird, considering
you're a grown-ass man
485
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,440
hanging out in the little
girls' underwear section.
486
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:09,990
Right. I could see
how that could be
487
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,568
misconstrued as strange,
or whatever.
488
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,994
Very.
They fit. Let's go.
489
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,241
There we go. There she is.
490
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,743
Excuse me, young lady,
do you know this person?
491
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,074
No.
Yeah.
492
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,283
Which is it?
493
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:22,086
He came into my house
and stole my mom's minivan.
494
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,710
Now he's taking me and my
brothers to get some candy.
495
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:28,293
Okay, that sounds way, way
worse than it actually is.
496
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,003
Hey, don't I know
you from somewhere?
497
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,589
What? No,
I'm the babysitter.
498
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,515
What?
He's not a real babysitter.
499
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,890
He's a "do-whatever-I-say-
or-I'll-kill-you type of babysitter."
500
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:39,140
What?
501
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,312
That sounds way...
That's what he said!
502
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:41,856
Blithe, shut the fuck up.
503
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,604
Do not tell her to shut up!
504
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:44,980
Thank you.
505
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,812
Ooh, shit! I remember you!
I went to high school with your ass!
506
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,647
You came to my
house party one time,
507
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:53,322
got all wasted, and then you
puked in my grandmama's urn.
508
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,028
And when I asked
you about it, you lied
509
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,704
and ran away like
a little biotch!
510
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,122
I didn't run away
like a little biotch!
511
00:19:58,239 --> 00:19:59,582
I probably just ran
like a normal person.
512
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:03,787
And now you're hanging out in the
little girls' clothes section.
513
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,246
Can you please
lower your voice?
514
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,706
There are numerous
misunderstandings.
515
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:09,133
No, no, no. I'm not buying none of this.
Come on, little girl.
516
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,127
Let me go!
I'm not buying it!
517
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,130
(CLAMORING)
518
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,727
You got some shit to deal with!
519
00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:22,601
Security!
520
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,979
Why did you say that, Blithe?
521
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,227
You were trying to make
me buy green underwear.
522
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,903
Green underwear is not hot!
523
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,481
You're the worst
babysitter ever!
524
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,066
(MIMICKING BLITHE) "You're
the worst babysitter ever!"
525
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,651
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
526
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:36,323
You guys?
527
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,036
Where's Rodrigo?
528
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:41,161
I don't know.
I guess he left.
529
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,325
(TIRES SQUEALING)
530
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:48,085
That's an incredible observation, Slater.
Where did he go?
531
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,166
I don't know.
I was talking to my friend Clayton.
532
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,421
Which way did he go?
533
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,592
I don't know!
534
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,213
(GPS TRACKER BEEPING)
535
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,470
Got you, you little bastard.
536
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:03,603
Hey, what's up?
537
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:04,771
May I help you, sir?
538
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,019
Yeah.
539
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:08,768
I'm looking for
a small Hispanic boy.
540
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:12,105
About 4'8", leather jacket,
pajamas, cowboy boots.
541
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,781
Have you seen him?
No.
542
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,358
"I've not seen
a 4'8" Hispanic boy
543
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,785
in a leatherjacket, pajamas,
and cowboy boots.
544
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:18,907
Probably would
have remembered that.
545
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:22,616
Something tells me you have
before, you fucking asshole.
546
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:29,047
(SINGING) Don't say no
because I insist.
547
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:35,591
Somewhere, somehow
someone's got to be kissed
548
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:37,968
(TOILET FLUSHING)
549
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:41,930
There you are!
What are you doing in here?
550
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,556
I dropped a bomb.
(OMINOUS COWBOY MUSIC PLAYING)
551
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:44,888
That's very cute.
552
00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,639
Come on, wash your hands.
553
00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:51,310
(LAUGHING)
554
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:53,441
What's so funny?
555
00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:57,900
Oh, shit!
556
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:59,902
Oh, shit, what are you doing?
557
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:00,986
(NOAH STAMMERING)
558
00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:02,488
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
559
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,666
MAN: What is
going on back there?
560
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:08,335
It's all good! Just continue
eating your meals. I know him.
561
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:09,582
He's a friend of mine.
562
00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:11,748
That looks good.
What is that?
563
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,004
You run away again,
and I'll break your legs!
564
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:15,175
Then I bite your ear!
565
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:17,253
What? I bite your what?
I eat your ear.
566
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,847
I bite it off with my teeth,
then you don't hear nothing.
567
00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:21,424
That's very specific.
568
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,769
(SIGHING) All right. I've got to pick
up some candy for my girlfriend.
569
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,226
So you guys wait here and watch
570
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:32,651
little bin Laden
back there, okay?
571
00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:34,945
This isn't about
getting candy, is it?
572
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:36,863
Lock the doors, keep your
head between your legs.
573
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:39,863
Don't move or talk to
anybody or look at anybody.
574
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:41,194
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
575
00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,575
(SOFTLY) Don't you
fuck with me, Rodrigo.
576
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:49,873
WOMAN: Hey, mister!
Hey, over here!
577
00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:53,047
I do top shit or bottom,
whatever you want.
578
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:58,423
Noah Griffith?
579
00:22:58,502 --> 00:22:59,549
Yeah.
580
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:00,880
Are you Karl?
581
00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:02,215
(GARV GIGGLES AND SNORTS)
582
00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:05,051
No, I fucking wish, papi.
583
00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:08,263
If you want to see Karl,
I'm gonna have to, like,
584
00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:11,144
strip-search you.
585
00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:15,812
Okay, we're good.
I believed you.
586
00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:18,819
Follow me!
587
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:20,441
What the fuck?
588
00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:23,778
(ESCAPE (THE PINA COLADA SONG)
PLAYING)
589
00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:26,914
GARV: This way.
590
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,241
Hey, Eduardo!
591
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:29,496
(GRUNTS)
592
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:31,577
He's really cranky.
593
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,346
(INDISTINCT TALKING ON TV)
594
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:56,314
That's Russ.
He's got an attitude.
595
00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:01,695
You're such a slowpoke.
596
00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:10,207
Come on.
597
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:19,174
(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
598
00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:38,444
It's okay. Do it again.
Do it again.
599
00:24:39,728 --> 00:24:41,401
One more time.
600
00:24:42,064 --> 00:24:44,192
That's good. I like that.
601
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:52,996
Hey, Karl!
602
00:24:53,075 --> 00:24:54,167
Oh, my God! You scared me!
603
00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:56,587
You scared me, sneaking up on
me like a little squirrel!
604
00:24:56,704 --> 00:24:58,172
You have a visitor.
605
00:24:58,247 --> 00:24:59,669
KARL: Dude,
the roller skates.
606
00:24:59,748 --> 00:25:02,046
You're going to get track marks
all over my mahogany floors.
607
00:25:02,126 --> 00:25:03,173
Are you serious?
608
00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:05,550
Go get me a smoothie.
Get out of my face.
609
00:25:05,629 --> 00:25:07,631
GARV: You're no fun.
KARL: You're no fun.
610
00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:10,350
Oh, my God. Hi. Hi.
611
00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:13,851
You must be Noah Griffith.
I've been waiting for you all night.
612
00:25:13,929 --> 00:25:15,852
What's up?
I'm Karl with a.
613
00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:17,023
Sorry about the banging.
614
00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:18,692
We're doing some slight renovations,
as you can see.
615
00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:20,064
We're knocking down some walls
616
00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:21,396
so we can get a little more
square footage in here.
617
00:25:21,478 --> 00:25:22,980
A little more elbow room.
618
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:24,360
Uh, that's awesome.
619
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:25,657
What's awesome about it?
620
00:25:25,774 --> 00:25:27,151
Huh?
621
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:28,781
Why is that awesome?
622
00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:34,580
More room for bodybuilders
and experiments and stuff.
623
00:25:34,658 --> 00:25:36,626
(LAUGHS)
624
00:25:37,161 --> 00:25:39,255
That's funny!
You're funny, Noah Griffith.
625
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:40,751
You're really funny.
626
00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:44,176
Thank you.
You're very cool as well. So...
627
00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:46,261
You sure we haven't met?
628
00:25:47,755 --> 00:25:49,598
Déjà vu.
629
00:25:49,673 --> 00:25:51,926
Hey, check this out.
630
00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:53,556
This is an art project.
631
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:56,980
It's made from the shell of
an ancient baby dinosaur egg.
632
00:25:57,097 --> 00:25:59,725
We like to package our
product artistically.
633
00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,607
And prehistorically. Bump?
634
00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:05,318
I'm fine, thanks.
(KARL SNORTING)
635
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:07,408
(LAUGHING)
636
00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:11,078
I like you, Noah Griffith!
You're so shy.
637
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:13,747
You're so gorgeous and shy.
You remind me of my Aunt Shirley.
638
00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:15,950
She was Asian.
Are you biracial?
639
00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:18,620
Karl! I got shot!
640
00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:19,828
Oh, my God.
641
00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:21,004
I got shot, Karl.
642
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,127
Oh, my God.
643
00:26:22,206 --> 00:26:24,083
Don't let me die
on this floor, Karl.
644
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:25,509
Who shot at you?
645
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:28,963
Angelo on 14th Street
shot me in my tummy, Karl.
646
00:26:29,046 --> 00:26:30,514
He shot me in my tummy.
647
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:31,886
KARL: Oh, my God.
648
00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:35,014
Please, someone, please!
Somebody get me a doctor!
649
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:37,972
Please, someone...
Do you know CPR?
650
00:26:38,055 --> 00:26:39,102
What? I don't know.
651
00:26:39,181 --> 00:26:40,558
Do you know CPR?
652
00:26:40,641 --> 00:26:42,018
I don't even
think mouth-to-mouth
653
00:26:42,101 --> 00:26:43,444
will help this
particular situation.
654
00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:44,862
Why doesn't Garv do it?
655
00:26:44,978 --> 00:26:46,355
(WHINING)
656
00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:48,774
Karl, don't let me die!
657
00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:49,949
I have kids, man.
658
00:26:50,025 --> 00:26:52,653
My God. Jesus Christ.
659
00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:54,864
Fucking hell!
660
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:56,574
Somebody help me.
661
00:26:58,158 --> 00:26:59,250
Fine! What?
662
00:26:59,326 --> 00:27:00,327
Help me, please.
663
00:27:00,410 --> 00:27:01,627
He's going into shock.
664
00:27:01,703 --> 00:27:03,125
Please, help me.
Oh, God.
665
00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:05,007
Now, please, hurry up.
666
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:07,167
What's up, fool?
667
00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:08,836
KARL: Got you!
668
00:27:08,919 --> 00:27:10,296
What's happening right now?
669
00:27:10,379 --> 00:27:12,598
I don't understand. Are you okay?
What, is this a joke?
670
00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:15,513
I got him! I got him!
671
00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:18,345
I could smell your breath that time.
You were so close.
672
00:27:18,428 --> 00:27:19,725
What's happening?
673
00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:21,057
You're so adorable.
674
00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:22,687
You just fell
for a little prank.
675
00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:23,892
Prank?
676
00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:25,023
Around here,
we pull pranks and shit
677
00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:27,104
to make sure people
aren't undercover pigs
678
00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:28,484
'cause we kill
pigs around here.
679
00:27:28,564 --> 00:27:30,407
This is Julio,
my business partner.
680
00:27:31,525 --> 00:27:32,651
This is Kool-Aid, man.
681
00:27:33,068 --> 00:27:35,070
KARL: Come on over here.
Let's get down to business.
682
00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:36,910
(LOUD MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO)
683
00:27:37,281 --> 00:27:38,828
SLATER: Right there,
there are prostitutes
684
00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:40,329
and there are people with guns.
685
00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:42,457
And I don't want
to get shot tonight.
686
00:27:42,578 --> 00:27:45,878
(SINGING) She ain't nothin' but a hoochie
mama Hoodrat, hoodrat hoochie mama.
687
00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:47,833
Oh, I love those big brown eyes.
688
00:27:47,916 --> 00:27:49,668
And the way you
shake your thighs.
689
00:27:49,751 --> 00:27:51,549
Acting like you're so damn cute.
690
00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:53,380
Just let your boy
just slide them boots.
691
00:27:54,464 --> 00:27:56,091
KARL: You got my money?
NOAH: Yeah.
692
00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:57,843
JULIO: Yeah!
KARL: Put out your hand.
693
00:27:58,510 --> 00:27:59,557
Here's one ticket.
694
00:27:59,636 --> 00:28:01,730
Trick or treat, smell my feet.
695
00:28:01,805 --> 00:28:03,227
How do you know Marisa?
696
00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:04,684
You know Marisa?
697
00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:07,360
She is my girlfriend, actually.
698
00:28:09,146 --> 00:28:10,944
(LAUGHING)
699
00:28:11,148 --> 00:28:12,616
Come on, man, stop it!
700
00:28:13,442 --> 00:28:15,365
Karl.
701
00:28:15,444 --> 00:28:17,287
There's some kid here.
702
00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:19,456
KARL: You didn't call
the fuzz, did you, Noah?
703
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:21,033
No. Rodrigo.
704
00:28:21,783 --> 00:28:24,787
What are you doing? Go back to the car.
How'd you even get in here?
705
00:28:24,870 --> 00:28:26,463
I pee-pee now.
706
00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:28,628
He's with you?
707
00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:29,924
Yeah, I'm, uh babysitting.
708
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,047
Babysitting?
709
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:32,753
You need to go back to the car,
710
00:28:32,836 --> 00:28:34,383
because you already
went pee-pee. Okay?
711
00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:36,306
I pee-pee.
Pee your pants.
712
00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:38,224
What's your problem, man?
Let him take a piss!
713
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:39,893
Trying to make a little kid
hold in his pee-pee!
714
00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:41,686
That's right. Oye, Fonzie.
715
00:28:41,762 --> 00:28:43,560
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
716
00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:45,558
You go pee-pee.
717
00:28:45,641 --> 00:28:46,767
KARL: Don't make a mess!
718
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,147
Come in for a bear hug.
719
00:28:49,645 --> 00:28:51,192
Get outta here.
Put that handshake away.
720
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:53,148
Better hug this motherfucker if
you know what's good for you.
721
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:54,654
Hug him tight!
722
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:57,987
Swordfight up in this motherfucker!
Pull it together!
723
00:28:58,070 --> 00:28:59,071
(GROANS)
724
00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:00,997
KARL: Have a great night.
(GRUNTS)
725
00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:04,706
Okay, I know we had a few
setbacks, but we're almost done.
726
00:29:04,785 --> 00:29:06,833
I just gotta drop off this
package to my girlfriend,
727
00:29:06,912 --> 00:29:08,505
say a quick hi-ho to her,
728
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:10,423
then I'm going to turn us
around and take us home.
729
00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:11,918
I know I can be a bit
of a prick sometimes,
730
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,798
so I want to thank you guys
for being patient.
731
00:29:13,877 --> 00:29:15,254
BLITHE: Okay,
so we're gonna go
732
00:29:15,337 --> 00:29:16,634
to my favorite
club in New York City,
733
00:29:16,713 --> 00:29:17,805
and you're gonna come...
734
00:29:17,881 --> 00:29:18,882
Hey, buddy, what you got there?
735
00:29:18,966 --> 00:29:19,933
RODRIGO: I no know.
736
00:29:20,008 --> 00:29:21,260
I find it in bathroom.
737
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,016
Shit!
738
00:29:26,598 --> 00:29:29,442
Rodrigo,
give that to me right now.
739
00:29:29,518 --> 00:29:31,191
I'm serious, man.
Give it to me right now.
740
00:29:31,270 --> 00:29:32,647
No way. Finder keepers.
741
00:29:32,729 --> 00:29:35,027
Put it in my hand right now!
742
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:36,154
No.
743
00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:37,485
Rodrigo.
No.
744
00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:39,410
Just... Just let go!
745
00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:41,121
It's mine.
746
00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:42,743
Let it go!
Just give it to me!
747
00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:45,367
BLITHE: You're both such booger faces.
Stop fighting!
748
00:29:46,201 --> 00:29:47,544
Let go!
Okay.
749
00:29:49,871 --> 00:29:51,214
It's snowing!
750
00:29:55,043 --> 00:29:57,671
What the fuck?
751
00:29:57,754 --> 00:29:59,222
(PHONE RINGING)
752
00:30:11,059 --> 00:30:12,481
Hello?
Noah Griffith!
753
00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:14,029
Hey!
754
00:30:14,104 --> 00:30:16,607
Hey, Karl, what's up?
How did you get this number?
755
00:30:16,690 --> 00:30:18,408
I got it off
your Facebook page,
756
00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:21,111
as I was trying to friend you
as you were walking out.
757
00:30:21,194 --> 00:30:24,414
Anyway, as I was friending
you, Julio noticed that
758
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:26,867
maybe you stole a baby
dinosaur egg from me.
759
00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:29,078
And it's just,
like, I'm confused.
760
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:32,131
You know what I mean?
Because I'm thinking that we're friends,
761
00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:35,835
and then all of a sudden,
I don't know, it's like...
762
00:30:36,585 --> 00:30:38,713
I really liked you, you know?
763
00:30:38,795 --> 00:30:42,390
Karl, just relax, please.
I'm sorry, I don't have your drugs.
764
00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:44,468
The kid I'm babysitting,
he took one of your eggs,
765
00:30:44,593 --> 00:30:45,765
and I was trying to get it back
766
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:47,061
and it accidentally
splashed in my face.
767
00:30:47,137 --> 00:30:48,980
Fucking shut the fuck up.
768
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:50,440
Unless I get my drugs back
769
00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:54,110
or my money back,
I'm going to kill you!
770
00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:55,859
I'll fucking kill you!
771
00:30:55,937 --> 00:30:57,814
I want you to meet me
at Wing's Fish Market.
772
00:30:57,898 --> 00:30:58,899
Where?
773
00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:01,326
Wing's Fish Market.
It's in Chinese Town.
774
00:31:01,610 --> 00:31:05,535
You meet me there in one hour with
my 10 grand, or you're dead meat.
775
00:31:05,614 --> 00:31:07,708
Um, okay. Thanks, bye.
776
00:31:08,825 --> 00:31:10,293
I have to go pee-pee now.
777
00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:14,001
You're holding it in
this time, asshole.
778
00:31:24,424 --> 00:31:26,176
It'll be all right.
779
00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:28,353
I thought he was my friend.
780
00:31:33,683 --> 00:31:35,276
It's all right.
781
00:31:40,107 --> 00:31:41,700
Shut up!
I wanna go home.
782
00:31:41,817 --> 00:31:43,911
(SPEAKS SPANISH) I don't
know what you're saying.
783
00:31:43,985 --> 00:31:45,407
Don't. Stop it!
Stop! No!
784
00:31:45,487 --> 00:31:46,909
BLITHE: No, my lip gloss!
Give it back!
785
00:31:46,988 --> 00:31:49,912
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!
786
00:31:49,991 --> 00:31:51,243
What are you
getting mad at us for?
787
00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:54,580
Because Rodrigo here is a thief,
and now I'm in deep shit.
788
00:31:54,663 --> 00:31:56,461
And the worst
part of all of this
789
00:31:56,540 --> 00:31:58,292
is that I'm stuck
here with you three.
790
00:31:58,375 --> 00:32:01,174
You, you got more issues
than a magazine stand.
791
00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:03,301
And, you, wipe the makeup
off your face, Picasso.
792
00:32:03,380 --> 00:32:05,428
What are you, a mob wife?
793
00:32:05,507 --> 00:32:07,680
And, you, you're the worst.
794
00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:09,432
I know you're a little kid,
and I know I'm not
795
00:32:09,511 --> 00:32:11,184
supposed to say this
kind of stuff to you,
796
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,523
but fuck you.
797
00:32:13,598 --> 00:32:15,316
Fuck you so much.
798
00:32:15,392 --> 00:32:16,609
You're a douche.
799
00:32:16,685 --> 00:32:18,437
Look, Noah,
if you hate us that much,
800
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,272
then just drop us
off with our parents.
801
00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:24,030
You know what?
That's an amazing idea. Let's go.
802
00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:39,132
I've seen the way
you look at me.
803
00:32:40,333 --> 00:32:44,258
I know the things you say
when I'm not there.
804
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,969
But when you're here
alone with me.
805
00:32:51,386 --> 00:32:54,560
Baby, don't pretend
that you don't care.
806
00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:59,315
Come on, let the feeling begin.
807
00:32:59,394 --> 00:33:02,944
Come on, baby Come on, yeah.
808
00:33:05,275 --> 00:33:09,280
Don't stop
when the feeling begins.
809
00:33:11,072 --> 00:33:15,202
Come on. I've changed my mind.
I need to clean up my mess myself.
810
00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:20,378
All right, ideas,
ideas, ideas, ideas, ideas.
811
00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:23,460
Okay. Slater,
can you get off the phone?
812
00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:25,341
I need an idea. You can text
your buddy Clayton later, okay?
813
00:33:25,420 --> 00:33:26,922
Yeah, man, seriously!
814
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:29,007
SLATER: It's not Clayton.
It's those twins,
815
00:33:29,090 --> 00:33:30,842
and they want me to
go to Prospect Hall
816
00:33:30,926 --> 00:33:32,644
for Wendy Sapperstein's
Bat Mitzvah.
817
00:33:32,719 --> 00:33:35,222
That's, like, a pretty
swanky joint, right?
818
00:33:35,305 --> 00:33:37,524
Yeah, the Sappersteins
are totally loaded
819
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:39,772
and she's, like, crazy spoiled.
820
00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:40,898
Spoiled.
821
00:33:42,229 --> 00:33:44,197
So lots of gifts, lots of cash.
822
00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:48,277
Slater, you're a genius.
You're a genius, dude!
823
00:33:51,905 --> 00:33:54,249
All right, let's go,
let's go, let's go!
824
00:33:54,324 --> 00:33:56,622
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Hustle!
825
00:33:57,702 --> 00:34:00,296
All right, come on, kids.
Come on.
826
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:02,215
All right, thank you.
827
00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:03,883
BLITHE: This place
looks like a party.
828
00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:05,461
NOAH: Keep walking,
keep walking.
829
00:34:06,628 --> 00:34:08,801
WENDY: Maybe you should
just invite anyone you know,
830
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,008
anyone who's ugly, because
they seem to all be here!
831
00:34:11,675 --> 00:34:12,972
MRS. SAPPERSTEIN:
That's very nice.
832
00:34:13,051 --> 00:34:14,303
Is that what
the rabbis taught you?
833
00:34:14,386 --> 00:34:17,139
Mom! This is my night.
It's my celebration,
834
00:34:17,222 --> 00:34:19,725
and I did not invite these
nerds to my Bat Mitzvah!
835
00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:23,108
What more can I do for you?
Rent the Taj Ma-fucking-hal for you?
836
00:34:23,186 --> 00:34:26,986
There's so much blue cheese
here, it smells like barf, Mom!
837
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:30,069
Damn, Wendy Sapperstein's
a big ol' bitch!
838
00:34:30,151 --> 00:34:31,448
Yeah, she scares me.
839
00:34:31,528 --> 00:34:33,405
All right, guys, we're gonna
stay under the radar.
840
00:34:33,488 --> 00:34:34,990
Okay? Keep it low profile.
841
00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:37,416
Did you hear what I just said?
842
00:34:37,492 --> 00:34:39,210
I said low profile!
All right?
843
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,294
Stop puncturing balloons!
Do you understand me? (SHUSHING)
844
00:34:44,124 --> 00:34:46,752
Noah, Noah. Does this place
have bottle service?
845
00:34:46,835 --> 00:34:48,212
I want a Red Bull and vodka.
846
00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:49,512
No, you don't.
You don't even know
847
00:34:49,588 --> 00:34:50,760
what that is.
It's bad for you.
848
00:34:50,839 --> 00:34:52,682
Slater! You showed up!
849
00:34:52,757 --> 00:34:54,555
We've been looking
all over for you!
850
00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:55,806
Oh. Hey.
851
00:34:55,885 --> 00:34:57,011
TWIN 1: We've been
dancing all night.
852
00:34:57,095 --> 00:34:58,688
TWIN 2: Yeah, this Bat
Mitzvah is the best!
853
00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:01,266
It's like Jew city out there,
and we're the fucking mayors.
854
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:02,396
You ready to go dance?
855
00:35:02,475 --> 00:35:05,775
He's ready to go dance.
This guy was born to dance.
856
00:35:05,854 --> 00:35:07,106
You want to come?
Come on. Let's go.
857
00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:08,155
You big stud.
858
00:35:08,231 --> 00:35:10,279
Time to go make
a Slater sandwich!
859
00:35:10,358 --> 00:35:12,406
Some of that gingerbread,
my man.
860
00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:16,706
No bathrooms, you understand me, Rodrigo?
No baño.
861
00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:18,203
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
862
00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:20,793
You're a pendejo.
You're a puto.
863
00:35:20,869 --> 00:35:22,291
You're a puta, bitch.
864
00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:23,713
I'm gonna fuck you up, dawg!
865
00:35:42,849 --> 00:35:44,146
Noah Griffith?
866
00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:45,477
Uh, hey.
867
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:46,686
That's you, right?
868
00:35:46,770 --> 00:35:48,238
Yeah. What's up?
How's it going?
869
00:35:48,313 --> 00:35:49,485
It's Roxanne.
870
00:35:49,564 --> 00:35:51,942
I lived in the dorms down the
hall from you, freshman year.
871
00:35:52,025 --> 00:35:53,743
That's right.
We were in Astronomy, right?
872
00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:55,286
Yeah, I sat behind
you in Astronomy.
873
00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:57,581
We were, like, the only two
students who seemed to give a shit.
874
00:35:57,697 --> 00:35:58,823
(CHUCKLES)
That's right. Yeah.
875
00:35:58,907 --> 00:36:01,831
You made that scale model of
Saturn with a cantaloupe, right?
876
00:36:01,910 --> 00:36:03,662
Oh, shit, yeah.
That was you.
877
00:36:03,745 --> 00:36:05,418
That thing was fresh.
That was cool. Yeah, that was me.
878
00:36:05,497 --> 00:36:07,750
Did you know about the
geomagnetic storm tonight?
879
00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:09,717
I did. I'm gonna
check it out. Are you?
880
00:36:09,793 --> 00:36:10,965
I'm actually kind
of excited for it.
881
00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:12,259
Yeah. For sure.
882
00:36:12,260 --> 00:36:14,096
Yeah, it's gonna be cool.
Yeah, it's gonna be pretty cool.
883
00:36:14,214 --> 00:36:17,093
BANDLEADER: Stay on that dance floor!
It's time for the hora!
884
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:18,597
(GUESTS CHEERING) Wow!
885
00:36:18,718 --> 00:36:21,267
Hava Nagila, yeah.
You gonna go on the chair?
886
00:36:21,388 --> 00:36:22,856
I don't think so.
Yeah?
887
00:36:22,931 --> 00:36:24,353
No. No chair for me.
888
00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:27,106
I can't believe you're here.
Like, I haven't seen you in forever.
889
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,859
Yeah, I'm actually
not in school this year.
890
00:36:29,938 --> 00:36:31,110
That sucks.
891
00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:34,531
But I'm working
right now, obviously.
892
00:36:34,609 --> 00:36:35,826
But once I get off work,
893
00:36:35,902 --> 00:36:37,825
I'm going to a pool hall
with some of my co-workers.
894
00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:39,531
Would you want to come?
Oh, cool.
895
00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:42,208
That would be great,
but I'm actually
896
00:36:42,283 --> 00:36:44,877
in the middle of
a situation currently.
897
00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:46,705
Oh, yeah. No worries.
I just thought I'd ask.
898
00:36:46,788 --> 00:36:48,415
No. Thank you.
Any other time.
899
00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:50,959
Oh, my God.
900
00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:55,300
Oh, shit.
901
00:36:55,422 --> 00:36:56,924
It was great
running into you again.
902
00:36:57,006 --> 00:36:58,223
(LAUGHING) Oh, my God!
903
00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:01,140
Put your fucking dick away!
904
00:37:01,261 --> 00:37:03,138
You're getting
piss all over me!
905
00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,474
You're getting
piss all over my feet!
906
00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:07,100
Watch out. Come on.
907
00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:09,569
BLITHE: Happy birthday, Wendy!
NOAH: Mazel tov, Wendy.
908
00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:11,146
(BLITHE YELLING)
What were you doing?
909
00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:13,948
You do not take a piss in the
middle of a party, okay?
910
00:37:14,816 --> 00:37:16,489
You don't piss in the middle
of a Bat Mitzvah, you idiot!
911
00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:17,911
Clayton?
912
00:37:17,986 --> 00:37:19,488
(SOFTLY) Oh, shit.
913
00:37:19,571 --> 00:37:22,324
What are you doing here?
What about your tarantula?
914
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:23,829
Oh, I got over that, man.
915
00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:25,251
It's just a spider, bro.
916
00:37:25,326 --> 00:37:27,749
Since when do you hang out
with Benji Gillespie?
917
00:37:27,829 --> 00:37:29,923
Look, I can hang out with as
many other people as I want.
918
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,420
I don't think you
understand that.
919
00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:33,342
I'm getting kind of sick of going
to your house all the time
920
00:37:33,418 --> 00:37:34,840
and watching tennis.
921
00:37:34,961 --> 00:37:36,258
We do other shit.
922
00:37:36,337 --> 00:37:38,840
No, we don't!
You don't do anything!
923
00:37:38,965 --> 00:37:41,093
I can't just
always hang around you.
924
00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:44,020
I don't get why
you're being mean to me.
925
00:37:44,095 --> 00:37:45,768
He doesn't want to hang out
with you any more, bro.
926
00:37:45,847 --> 00:37:47,099
How hard is it to
understand that?
927
00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:51,028
Just stop calling and texting
him all the time. It's weird.
928
00:37:53,521 --> 00:37:54,989
Is that true?
929
00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:57,150
See you around.
930
00:37:58,651 --> 00:37:59,948
Yo.
931
00:38:01,029 --> 00:38:02,076
Hey, man. You all right?
932
00:38:02,155 --> 00:38:03,452
Those guys fucking with you?
Yeah, I'm fine.
933
00:38:03,531 --> 00:38:04,623
You okay?
934
00:38:04,699 --> 00:38:05,746
Yeah, just leave me alone!
935
00:38:08,161 --> 00:38:11,256
Hi. I'm so sorry to
have to say this to you.
936
00:38:11,331 --> 00:38:14,961
It's just that I can't
seem to find your car.
937
00:38:15,835 --> 00:38:17,758
What do you mean,
you can't find my car?
938
00:38:18,046 --> 00:38:20,970
Well, I think we lost it.
939
00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:23,643
You didn't lose your Morrissey box set.
Where's my fucking car, dude?
940
00:38:23,718 --> 00:38:24,810
(SOBS)
941
00:38:24,886 --> 00:38:26,763
Did you lose it or you
taking a shit right now?
942
00:38:27,055 --> 00:38:28,102
A little of both.
943
00:38:28,181 --> 00:38:29,478
There's no "a little
bit" of taking a shit.
944
00:38:29,557 --> 00:38:31,025
You're either shitting
your pants or you're not.
945
00:38:32,852 --> 00:38:35,651
Stop crying, all right?
It's not going to solve anything.
946
00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:37,403
Let's go find this shit.
All right?
947
00:38:39,108 --> 00:38:40,155
Hey, look! There it is!
948
00:38:40,235 --> 00:38:42,704
Oh, thank God we found it.
949
00:38:42,779 --> 00:38:45,783
That's not finding it, you idiot.
Someone stole it.
950
00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:47,618
Oh, poo.
951
00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:57,130
Three thousand bucks.
952
00:38:57,210 --> 00:38:58,712
Is that good?
953
00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:03,554
No. It's not. We need 7,000 more.
And it's almost 11:00.
954
00:39:03,633 --> 00:39:05,306
Hey, Noah, I have an idea.
955
00:39:05,385 --> 00:39:07,012
How about you start your own
signature fragrance?
956
00:39:07,095 --> 00:39:08,312
That's a great idea!
957
00:39:08,388 --> 00:39:09,731
I'll just alert
my team of scientists,
958
00:39:09,806 --> 00:39:11,149
have them invent a new perfume.
959
00:39:11,224 --> 00:39:12,817
We'll start
selling it and we'll have
960
00:39:12,892 --> 00:39:14,394
seven grand in
the next 45 minutes!
961
00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:16,070
You're such a jerk.
962
00:39:16,145 --> 00:39:17,692
God damn it, my fucking shin.
963
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:19,194
I'm just trying to help.
964
00:39:19,274 --> 00:39:21,447
All I know is, is I'm going
to be a famous celebrity
965
00:39:21,526 --> 00:39:23,699
who designs on the side,
and I'm going to be rich.
966
00:39:23,778 --> 00:39:25,200
What the hell are
you talking about?
967
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:26,907
You do know that just
being a celebrity and
968
00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:29,209
having a good time is
not a real job, right?
969
00:39:29,284 --> 00:39:31,036
Yeah, it is!
Being a famous celebrity
970
00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:32,496
is the greatest
thing in the world!
971
00:39:32,579 --> 00:39:34,081
It means people
take your picture.
972
00:39:34,163 --> 00:39:35,710
You get to have
birthday parties at
973
00:39:35,790 --> 00:39:37,258
the coolest clubs
and dance on tables.
974
00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:40,928
Even for a small child,
you sound like an idiot.
975
00:39:41,170 --> 00:39:42,171
(NOAH SIGHS)
976
00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:43,973
What are you walking away for?
977
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:45,891
What's your problem,
drama queen?
978
00:39:45,967 --> 00:39:48,641
My problem is that
my best friend Clayton
979
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,347
doesn't want to hang out
with me any more
980
00:39:50,430 --> 00:39:52,023
because he
doesn't like me back,
981
00:39:52,098 --> 00:39:55,978
and he'd rather hang out with an
asshole named Benji Gillespie.
982
00:39:56,060 --> 00:39:57,562
That is my problem!
983
00:39:57,645 --> 00:39:59,773
Okay, well...
984
00:39:59,856 --> 00:40:00,857
You'll make another friend.
985
00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:01,941
No.
986
00:40:02,901 --> 00:40:04,619
No, I won't.
987
00:40:04,694 --> 00:40:06,742
Well, I don't know the inner
workings of your friendship,
988
00:40:06,821 --> 00:40:09,324
but if he doesn't
like you, then screw him.
989
00:40:09,866 --> 00:40:11,163
(HORN BLARING)
990
00:40:12,827 --> 00:40:14,374
All right, train's coming!
991
00:40:14,454 --> 00:40:16,001
Let's go!
992
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:26,262
If you only knew
what it was like.
993
00:40:26,341 --> 00:40:31,598
Hoping that you see the light.
994
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:36,310
And you always put up a fight.
995
00:40:36,851 --> 00:40:40,401
I get lost within your stare
996
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,279
(INAUDIBLE)
997
00:40:43,358 --> 00:40:46,953
When we breathe the same air.
998
00:40:48,029 --> 00:40:51,624
I see you everywhere.
999
00:40:59,165 --> 00:41:03,716
Oh, if you only knew.
1000
00:41:04,587 --> 00:41:06,009
BLITHE: Whoa.
1001
00:41:08,758 --> 00:41:10,385
NOAH: It's like
actual China.
1002
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:14,309
Excuse me.
Is this Wing's Fish Market?
1003
00:41:14,389 --> 00:41:17,438
You must be Noah Griffith.
Mr. Karl is expecting you.
1004
00:41:19,352 --> 00:41:20,444
Wait here, all right?
1005
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:21,567
So.
1006
00:41:22,105 --> 00:41:23,778
Did you get my money?
(CLEARS THROAT) Um...
1007
00:41:24,816 --> 00:41:26,944
Garv, can I get some
chili flakes, please?
1008
00:41:27,402 --> 00:41:28,949
(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)
Garv, honey.
1009
00:41:29,028 --> 00:41:30,780
Look at me. Look at me!
1010
00:41:30,863 --> 00:41:32,831
Uh, yes,
I have money right here.
1011
00:41:32,907 --> 00:41:34,909
Garv? Oh, boy.
Here you go. I got it.
1012
00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:36,461
Not listening.
He's got the headphones on.
1013
00:41:36,536 --> 00:41:38,959
I got the cash right here for you.
Here you go.
1014
00:41:39,539 --> 00:41:41,712
So how do you guys
all know each other?
1015
00:41:41,791 --> 00:41:43,543
KARL: What the fuck
difference does it make?
1016
00:41:43,626 --> 00:41:45,048
JULIO: We got a problem.
What's the problem?
1017
00:41:45,128 --> 00:41:47,222
My man! You got $3,000 here.
1018
00:41:47,296 --> 00:41:50,175
You are short $7,000!
1019
00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:51,350
Short?
1020
00:41:51,426 --> 00:41:53,349
Okay, I have checks.
1021
00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:54,725
Are you kidding me?
Checks, yes.
1022
00:41:54,804 --> 00:41:56,556
Checks! What's the matter
with you? (LAUGHING)
1023
00:41:56,973 --> 00:41:58,816
Who the fuck is
Wendy Sapperstein?
1024
00:41:58,891 --> 00:42:01,064
The Sappersteins are loaded,
1025
00:42:01,144 --> 00:42:02,521
so they're not gonna
miss the money at all.
1026
00:42:02,603 --> 00:42:05,777
Garv! Please, chili flakes!
You don't listen!
1027
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:07,530
So you can sign
the check over to yourself.
1028
00:42:07,608 --> 00:42:08,860
KARL: I'll count to three.
1029
00:42:08,943 --> 00:42:10,320
One.
Sign the checks over?
1030
00:42:10,403 --> 00:42:11,825
Two. Yeah, sign the
checks over to yourself.
1031
00:42:11,904 --> 00:42:13,372
Three. Good night.
1032
00:42:13,906 --> 00:42:16,034
(GARV CRYING OUT IN PAIN)
1033
00:42:16,117 --> 00:42:17,164
Did you hear that?
1034
00:42:17,243 --> 00:42:18,210
GARV: (SOBBING)
Why'd you do that?
1035
00:42:18,286 --> 00:42:20,038
Drop him off at the podiatrist.
1036
00:42:20,121 --> 00:42:22,465
Make his mom a mix CD
with an apology letter.
1037
00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:23,541
(WAILING)
1038
00:42:23,624 --> 00:42:26,252
JULIO: I told you, dawg.
Now your foot match your asshole.
1039
00:42:26,586 --> 00:42:28,384
(SPEAKING CANTONESE)
1040
00:42:30,506 --> 00:42:32,053
Hey!
Hey, Karl!
1041
00:42:32,133 --> 00:42:33,350
Hey, Marisa.
1042
00:42:33,426 --> 00:42:35,099
Where you at?
I'm at a party!
1043
00:42:35,178 --> 00:42:36,725
A party?
What?
1044
00:42:36,804 --> 00:42:38,772
I'm always down to party.
1045
00:42:38,848 --> 00:42:41,522
All right, text me the address.
All right, baby.
1046
00:42:42,060 --> 00:42:43,562
We're gonna meet you at
this party at midnight.
1047
00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:44,896
If you don't
have my seven grand,
1048
00:42:44,979 --> 00:42:48,358
Julio's gonna tickle your
girlfriend's asshole with a feather.
1049
00:42:49,317 --> 00:42:50,739
How'd you get that name
"The Feather" again?
1050
00:42:50,818 --> 00:42:54,163
Let me tell the story, man.
My joint got a little curve to it.
1051
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:56,661
So I go up in there, and it
tickles the lady's asshole.
1052
00:42:56,741 --> 00:42:58,584
Tickle, tickle, tickle,
tickle, tickle, tickle.
1053
00:42:58,659 --> 00:43:01,082
My joint goes in and comes
out at the same time
1054
00:43:01,162 --> 00:43:02,459
you know what I'm saying?
Tickle, tickle.
1055
00:43:02,538 --> 00:43:03,835
Tickle, tickle, tickle,
tickle, tickle. Yeah.
1056
00:43:03,915 --> 00:43:05,337
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1057
00:43:05,792 --> 00:43:08,796
See, when I'm stoking,
I see the head,
1058
00:43:08,878 --> 00:43:11,848
although I'm in it,
my head is popping out.
1059
00:43:11,923 --> 00:43:13,675
Still, like that.
Like a U-turn.
1060
00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:16,432
My joint make
a U-turn in that ass.
1061
00:43:16,511 --> 00:43:20,186
The Feather is in
effect since 1981, son.
1062
00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:24,235
My joint be
pop-locking in that ass.
1063
00:43:24,310 --> 00:43:26,278
It go in your ass and come
out your ass, like that.
1064
00:43:26,354 --> 00:43:27,446
See what I'm saying?
1065
00:43:27,522 --> 00:43:29,490
Come here. Give me a hug.
1066
00:43:29,565 --> 00:43:31,112
Give him a fucking hug!
Don't be shy.
1067
00:43:31,192 --> 00:43:33,035
You're so shy. Come here.
1068
00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:34,570
Hug me tight.
1069
00:43:34,654 --> 00:43:36,952
It's okay.
It's our little secret.
1070
00:43:37,031 --> 00:43:39,033
But I want you to
think about something.
1071
00:43:39,158 --> 00:43:42,458
Garv was my third
best friend in the world,
1072
00:43:42,537 --> 00:43:46,292
and I shot him in the feet
for being a bad listener.
1073
00:43:46,374 --> 00:43:48,797
You're my eighth
best friend in the world,
1074
00:43:48,876 --> 00:43:51,470
and you stole from me.
From my home!
1075
00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:53,799
You're gonna meet me
at that party at midnight.
1076
00:43:54,674 --> 00:43:56,392
And if you don't
get my seven grand,
1077
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,140
let's just say
it's gonna be bad.
1078
00:43:58,219 --> 00:44:00,221
Real fucking bad!
1079
00:44:01,305 --> 00:44:02,898
Now get out of here!
1080
00:44:03,015 --> 00:44:05,234
Stop staring at me
with those gorgeous eyes.
1081
00:44:05,685 --> 00:44:06,732
All right, guys, let's go.
1082
00:44:06,811 --> 00:44:07,812
Can we go home?
1083
00:44:07,895 --> 00:44:09,238
No, I have to see somebody.
1084
00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:11,323
I don't want to see anybody.
Let's just go home.
1085
00:44:11,399 --> 00:44:13,572
Believe me, Slater, I don't want
to see this person, either.
1086
00:44:13,901 --> 00:44:15,027
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1087
00:44:15,319 --> 00:44:16,992
God damn it.
1088
00:44:17,071 --> 00:44:18,573
Hey, Beth?
1089
00:44:19,824 --> 00:44:22,668
Noah. What are
you doing here?
1090
00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:25,246
I am babysitting
these children.
1091
00:44:25,371 --> 00:44:27,339
Looks like we finally have
something in common, right?
1092
00:44:27,415 --> 00:44:29,838
I'm not your
babysitter any more, Noah.
1093
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:32,761
Oh, you're not. That's right!
Because you fucked my dad
1094
00:44:32,837 --> 00:44:35,932
while he was still married to my
mom and ruined my life. I forgot!
1095
00:44:36,007 --> 00:44:37,350
Is he home, by the way?
1096
00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:41,512
Seven thousand dollars?
1097
00:44:42,889 --> 00:44:43,936
Yes.
1098
00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:47,276
There is no way in hell I'm
giving you seven grand, so...
1099
00:44:47,602 --> 00:44:52,529
Dad, you screwed Mom and I out
of child support and alimony.
1100
00:44:52,607 --> 00:44:55,360
Just do this one thing.
We'll call it even. All right?
1101
00:44:55,443 --> 00:44:59,448
You know, I have to say, it is
always some justification with you.
1102
00:44:59,572 --> 00:45:01,950
You are never gonna grow up
with that attitude.
1103
00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:04,957
Okay, don't do that.
Don't do that. Okay?
1104
00:45:05,077 --> 00:45:07,455
Don't pretend like
you care how I turn out.
1105
00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:10,462
Let's be very, very
straightforward with one another.
1106
00:45:10,583 --> 00:45:11,630
Okay?
1107
00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:12,710
Okay.
1108
00:45:12,793 --> 00:45:15,216
I'm in a jam. Okay?
1109
00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:18,224
That's why I'm here,
because I need your help.
1110
00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:20,301
And I'm sorry.
1111
00:45:20,384 --> 00:45:23,558
I just need you to be my dad for a day.
That's it.
1112
00:45:23,638 --> 00:45:25,982
And I'm sorry.
I can't help you.
1113
00:45:26,098 --> 00:45:29,648
You know what, pal?
It's not my problem.
1114
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:32,731
I mean, it's really
not my problem.
1115
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:34,656
Okay.
1116
00:45:35,816 --> 00:45:38,569
Daddy? Can we look
at the telescope now?
1117
00:45:38,653 --> 00:45:40,075
Oh, hey, buddy.
1118
00:45:40,154 --> 00:45:42,498
Of course.
Excuse me a second.
1119
00:45:42,573 --> 00:45:44,575
I want you to do me a favor.
1120
00:45:44,659 --> 00:45:47,412
I want you to go in the kitchen
and get a little bite to eat
1121
00:45:47,495 --> 00:45:49,748
for the two of us.
I'll be right in, okay?
1122
00:45:50,289 --> 00:45:51,586
That a boy!
1123
00:45:54,252 --> 00:45:57,677
There's a geomagnetic
storm tonight. I forgot.
1124
00:45:57,797 --> 00:45:59,265
I got thrown off.
1125
00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:01,183
So...
I didn't even know.
1126
00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:02,847
Yeah, I have to go.
1127
00:46:07,348 --> 00:46:11,603
You smell like perfume.
You got a lot of perfume on you.
1128
00:46:11,686 --> 00:46:14,030
I know. I know I do.
1129
00:46:17,108 --> 00:46:18,280
Why?
1130
00:46:23,864 --> 00:46:25,366
Gotcha, bitch.
1131
00:46:25,491 --> 00:46:27,619
BLITHE: Shotgun!
NOAH: All right, come on, let's go!
1132
00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:31,457
Let's roll. Hustle.
Rodrigo, feel free to take a piss in it.
1133
00:46:31,539 --> 00:46:33,041
BLITHE: Fancy car.
1134
00:46:33,165 --> 00:46:34,883
It smells like hotdogs.
1135
00:46:38,337 --> 00:46:40,305
Was that woman at the door
your babysitter?
1136
00:46:40,381 --> 00:46:43,385
She was, till I found out
my dad was tipping her extra
1137
00:46:43,467 --> 00:46:45,060
when he'd drive
her home at night.
1138
00:46:49,724 --> 00:46:50,816
SLATER: Where are we going?
1139
00:46:51,559 --> 00:46:52,981
NOAH: Just got to
pick up something
1140
00:46:53,060 --> 00:46:54,482
from my dad's store real quick.
1141
00:46:54,562 --> 00:46:55,859
SLATER: You're breaking in?
1142
00:46:57,898 --> 00:46:59,400
Not exactly.
(ALARM RINGING)
1143
00:46:59,483 --> 00:47:02,077
BLITHE: Shouldn't you tell
him about this or something?
1144
00:47:06,073 --> 00:47:07,120
SLATER: What's wrong?
1145
00:47:07,199 --> 00:47:09,577
I'm typing in the code,
and it's not working.
1146
00:47:09,660 --> 00:47:10,661
You didn't do it right!
1147
00:47:10,745 --> 00:47:11,746
Yes, I did.
1148
00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:12,830
I'm doing it right.
(ALARM CONTINUES RINGING)
1149
00:47:12,913 --> 00:47:14,210
Maybe your dad
changed the code.
1150
00:47:14,290 --> 00:47:15,507
He didn't change the code.
1151
00:47:15,583 --> 00:47:17,506
Okay? The code's my birthday.
It's always been my birthday.
1152
00:47:17,585 --> 00:47:18,677
He didn't change it.
1153
00:47:18,753 --> 00:47:20,596
Maybe it's
someone else's birthday.
1154
00:47:29,430 --> 00:47:31,558
(ALARM STOPS RINGING)
1155
00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:33,942
Sorry, man.
1156
00:47:40,858 --> 00:47:42,781
Let me guess what it is.
1157
00:47:42,943 --> 00:47:43,944
(BEEPS)
1158
00:47:50,076 --> 00:47:51,623
Booyah!
1159
00:47:59,293 --> 00:48:00,886
Can I tell you my gossip now?
1160
00:48:00,961 --> 00:48:02,634
Oh, shit, yeah. Blithe.
1161
00:48:03,798 --> 00:48:06,301
Not now. I think we should go, okay?
Let's go. We gotta go.
1162
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:10,646
I saw my daddy
kissing his assistant, Debra.
1163
00:48:11,806 --> 00:48:14,025
That's why he always stays
late at the hospital,
1164
00:48:14,100 --> 00:48:17,149
'cause he spends
all night kissing Debra.
1165
00:48:18,979 --> 00:48:20,572
My mom knows.
1166
00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:24,573
She pretends like she doesn't
know, but she knows.
1167
00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:26,495
That's not gossip, Blithe.
1168
00:48:27,279 --> 00:48:28,781
You know that, right?
1169
00:48:29,281 --> 00:48:30,498
Well...
1170
00:48:30,574 --> 00:48:33,327
Sometimes people do messed-up
stuff to each other, okay?
1171
00:48:33,786 --> 00:48:34,833
Why?
1172
00:48:34,912 --> 00:48:36,630
One time I was
walking down the street,
1173
00:48:36,705 --> 00:48:38,423
I punched my best friend Darius
1174
00:48:38,499 --> 00:48:42,345
in the nut sack for no reason.
Just both fists.
1175
00:48:42,461 --> 00:48:43,804
Just double-punched him.
1176
00:48:43,879 --> 00:48:45,176
Why would you do that?
1177
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:46,966
I don't know.
1178
00:48:47,675 --> 00:48:49,177
You're an idiot.
1179
00:48:49,260 --> 00:48:51,012
That's probably true.
I am an idiot.
1180
00:48:51,137 --> 00:48:52,605
And so is your dad.
1181
00:48:53,097 --> 00:48:54,519
Come on.
1182
00:48:56,642 --> 00:48:57,768
Hey.
1183
00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,357
Where's Rodrigo?
1184
00:48:59,437 --> 00:49:00,939
He's in the bathroom.
1185
00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:02,614
(TOILET FLUSHING)
1186
00:49:02,690 --> 00:49:05,364
(OMINOUS COWBOY MUSIC PLAYING)
1187
00:49:05,651 --> 00:49:07,278
Oh, no.
1188
00:49:07,361 --> 00:49:10,535
No, tell me...
Tell me you didn't.
1189
00:49:10,614 --> 00:49:12,867
(CHUCKLING)
1190
00:49:12,992 --> 00:49:14,369
Oh, shit!
1191
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,046
Why the hell did
you do that, Rodrigo?
1192
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:26,301
BLITHE: Seriously, dude!
1193
00:49:26,380 --> 00:49:27,802
You said you didn't have
any more cherry bombs!
1194
00:49:27,882 --> 00:49:29,225
How many more do you have, huh?
1195
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:32,144
You can't just go around blowing
up bathrooms! It's not cool!
1196
00:49:32,219 --> 00:49:33,971
Why can't you be more like
your brother and sister?
1197
00:49:34,054 --> 00:49:36,227
They're at least half crazy.
You're full-on nuts!
1198
00:49:36,891 --> 00:49:39,440
They are not my brother and sister!
They are nothing to me!
1199
00:49:39,518 --> 00:49:41,145
They are not my family!
1200
00:49:41,228 --> 00:49:42,650
She does nothing
all day but paint
1201
00:49:42,730 --> 00:49:44,073
her face like a puta.
She is a puta!
1202
00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:45,191
And this one is
sick in the head!
1203
00:49:45,274 --> 00:49:47,151
He goes to the head doctor
four times a week!
1204
00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:49,328
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
1205
00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:51,155
HEY! Stop acting
crazy, okay?
1206
00:49:51,238 --> 00:49:52,285
He is the crazy one.
1207
00:49:52,364 --> 00:49:54,913
He has this medicine!
He loco! He muy loco!
1208
00:49:55,034 --> 00:49:56,661
Hey, relax!
Shut up!
1209
00:49:56,744 --> 00:49:58,997
You shut up with your stupid fanny pack!
I take your fanny pack!
1210
00:49:59,079 --> 00:50:01,332
No! No! No, I need that!
1211
00:50:01,415 --> 00:50:04,510
Stop it! I need that!
My pills! No! No!
1212
00:50:04,585 --> 00:50:06,428
NOAH: What did
you do that for?
1213
00:50:06,504 --> 00:50:07,505
SLATER: Pull over!
Pull over!
1214
00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:08,589
Okay! Okay!
1215
00:50:08,714 --> 00:50:11,558
SLATER: Right now! Right now!
NOAH: Okay! Okay!
1216
00:50:13,511 --> 00:50:15,513
Slater! Where are you going?
1217
00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:17,348
What the fuck is
your problem, man?
1218
00:50:17,431 --> 00:50:18,603
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
1219
00:50:23,062 --> 00:50:24,279
NOAH: Slater.
1220
00:50:24,396 --> 00:50:25,943
You're not going to
find it, all right?
1221
00:50:26,023 --> 00:50:28,446
I need those pills, okay?
I need them.
1222
00:50:28,526 --> 00:50:29,618
No, you don't.
1223
00:50:29,693 --> 00:50:31,866
Yes, I do, okay?
I have serious issues.
1224
00:50:31,946 --> 00:50:33,323
You don't have serious issues.
1225
00:50:33,405 --> 00:50:36,454
Yes, I do! Those pills are the
only thing that keep me normal,
1226
00:50:36,534 --> 00:50:37,877
and I need them!
1227
00:50:37,952 --> 00:50:39,545
I can't do this any more.
1228
00:50:39,620 --> 00:50:41,418
Slater, you're gay, all right?
1229
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:44,258
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1230
00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:45,676
Nothing. Never mind.
1231
00:50:45,751 --> 00:50:47,003
Take that back!
1232
00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:49,259
Take it back, Noah!
1233
00:50:50,464 --> 00:50:52,182
You're gay. All right?
1234
00:50:52,258 --> 00:50:55,387
You're as queer as a football
bat, and that's fine.
1235
00:50:55,469 --> 00:50:57,642
And if your therapist hasn't
clued you into that by now,
1236
00:50:57,721 --> 00:50:59,644
then you should ask
for your money back, pal.
1237
00:50:59,723 --> 00:51:01,896
You ever think
the reason you're so upset
1238
00:51:01,976 --> 00:51:04,024
your buddy Clayton doesn't
want to hang out any more
1239
00:51:04,103 --> 00:51:06,606
is because you have a lot
of special feelings for him
1240
00:51:06,689 --> 00:51:08,236
that maybe
he doesn't feel back?
1241
00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:09,942
It breaks your heart, man.
1242
00:51:10,025 --> 00:51:11,777
And that breaks my heart.
1243
00:51:11,860 --> 00:51:13,658
'Cause I know
what that feels like.
1244
00:51:13,737 --> 00:51:15,455
I feel it all the time.
1245
00:51:15,531 --> 00:51:18,159
I don't want to be gay!
I'm not gay!
1246
00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:19,577
Tough.
1247
00:51:19,660 --> 00:51:21,583
I don't want to be a faggot!
1248
00:51:21,662 --> 00:51:24,165
Hey! Do not say shit like that!
Do you understand me?
1249
00:51:24,832 --> 00:51:27,210
This is the worst night
of my life.
1250
00:51:30,337 --> 00:51:32,931
All right, high school
is going to suck.
1251
00:51:33,007 --> 00:51:36,853
Coming out to your parents, it's
not gonna be a picnic, either.
1252
00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:38,895
But trust me when I tell you
1253
00:51:38,971 --> 00:51:41,474
that when you get to college,
nobody will care.
1254
00:51:41,557 --> 00:51:44,106
And then,
when you graduate college,
1255
00:51:44,184 --> 00:51:47,154
you'll get an awesome job
in the entertainment industry.
1256
00:51:47,229 --> 00:51:51,109
You'll be super-organized and dress
really well, you'll smell good.
1257
00:51:51,191 --> 00:51:53,660
Smell good? What are you
talking about, Noah?
1258
00:51:53,736 --> 00:51:55,363
Relax. Listen to me.
1259
00:51:58,198 --> 00:52:00,917
My dad hates me. All right?
1260
00:52:02,202 --> 00:52:04,204
I got kicked out of college.
1261
00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:06,541
(SIGHING)
1262
00:52:06,749 --> 00:52:09,127
Before tonight,
this babysitting thing,
1263
00:52:09,209 --> 00:52:11,507
I've only ever had one job,
and I was a lifeguard.
1264
00:52:11,587 --> 00:52:13,464
I got fired after four days
1265
00:52:13,547 --> 00:52:16,096
because I kept falling
asleep in the sun.
1266
00:52:16,550 --> 00:52:18,678
I'm a constant
disappointment to my mom,
1267
00:52:18,761 --> 00:52:20,855
who's the only
decent person in my life.
1268
00:52:20,929 --> 00:52:22,897
I've been arrested
numerous times.
1269
00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:25,943
I had a month-long, intense
addiction to Robitussin.
1270
00:52:27,227 --> 00:52:29,275
There's only
one freak out here.
1271
00:52:30,105 --> 00:52:31,607
You're looking at him.
1272
00:52:32,566 --> 00:52:35,319
I've never had a gay thought in my
life, so what does that tell you?
1273
00:52:36,570 --> 00:52:39,039
That tells me
you're pretty messed up.
1274
00:52:39,114 --> 00:52:41,537
I have seen Devil Wears Prada
about 19 times,
1275
00:52:41,617 --> 00:52:43,711
but that's because
it's a good movie.
1276
00:52:43,786 --> 00:52:45,709
It's a good flick.
1277
00:52:45,788 --> 00:52:48,962
Devil Wears P. You ever seen it?
D Wears P?
1278
00:52:49,083 --> 00:52:51,506
I think, like, once.
I don't really remember it though.
1279
00:52:52,795 --> 00:52:56,015
Nothing's wrong with you.
You're normal.
1280
00:52:57,591 --> 00:52:59,810
Just super gay.
1281
00:53:02,137 --> 00:53:04,060
You're a dick.
1282
00:53:04,139 --> 00:53:07,609
(LAUGHS) Yes, that's true.
Enough of the pills, all right?
1283
00:53:09,061 --> 00:53:10,233
Okay.
1284
00:53:11,438 --> 00:53:12,860
You know,
1285
00:53:14,149 --> 00:53:17,323
deep down, I think
I always kind of knew.
1286
00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:22,659
(SIGHS) But don't tell
anybody yet, okay?
1287
00:53:22,783 --> 00:53:24,831
I won't. I won't.
1288
00:53:26,286 --> 00:53:28,288
What do you think
lam, an asshole?
1289
00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:30,833
(LAUGHING) Yeah, sort of.
1290
00:53:30,958 --> 00:53:32,426
Come on, Ricky Martin,
let's get out of here.
1291
00:53:32,501 --> 00:53:34,128
SLATER: That's an example.
1292
00:53:35,671 --> 00:53:38,049
Hey, Slater, are you okay?
1293
00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:39,475
Yeah, I'm okay.
1294
00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:41,928
Hey! That's Mom's car!
1295
00:53:42,010 --> 00:53:43,057
NOAH: Are you sure?
1296
00:53:43,220 --> 00:53:44,517
(BEEPING)
1297
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,398
All right.
Let's go! Let's go!
1298
00:53:46,473 --> 00:53:49,317
BLITHE: Rodrigo’s jacket
must be in there!
1299
00:54:14,126 --> 00:54:15,969
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
1300
00:54:19,506 --> 00:54:21,304
BLITHE: This is
my kind of club.
1301
00:54:21,383 --> 00:54:23,806
SLATER: Let's just go home.
NOAH: No.
1302
00:54:23,886 --> 00:54:25,934
All right? I have a half-hour
to get to this party,
1303
00:54:26,013 --> 00:54:27,765
pay off Karl,
pick my girlfriend up
1304
00:54:27,848 --> 00:54:29,600
off the floor,
get you kids home,
1305
00:54:29,683 --> 00:54:32,436
and be home in time for my mom to
tell me how awesome her night was.
1306
00:54:32,519 --> 00:54:36,399
I'm not gonna let some bullshit
car thief fuck this up for me.
1307
00:54:38,192 --> 00:54:39,318
Hey.
1308
00:54:39,401 --> 00:54:41,699
What's happening, my man?
How you doing, man?
1309
00:54:41,779 --> 00:54:44,498
You know, this ain't
no place for no kids.
1310
00:54:44,573 --> 00:54:46,416
These aren't kids,
these are little people.
1311
00:54:46,533 --> 00:54:48,251
This woman's 48 years old.
1312
00:54:48,368 --> 00:54:49,665
Her children have children.
1313
00:54:49,745 --> 00:54:51,292
Hi. I'm a grandma.
1314
00:54:51,371 --> 00:54:52,463
All right.
1315
00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:53,711
What's your name, baby?
1316
00:54:53,791 --> 00:54:54,883
They call me Soul, Soul Baby.
1317
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:56,881
Soul Baby?
Keep it in control, baby.
1318
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,052
I hear you, baby.
1319
00:54:58,128 --> 00:54:59,129
My name's
Noah J-Bird. (CAWS)
1320
00:54:59,213 --> 00:55:00,635
Noah J-Bird.
1321
00:55:00,714 --> 00:55:02,432
Oh, you like to fly.
I fly, baby.
1322
00:55:02,549 --> 00:55:03,721
Fly, fly, fly away, baby.
1323
00:55:03,801 --> 00:55:04,927
In the clouds, no frowns.
1324
00:55:05,052 --> 00:55:06,349
All right, now, that's
what I'm talking about.
1325
00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:07,475
Tears, no fears, man.
1326
00:55:07,554 --> 00:55:08,555
Is that right?
1327
00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:09,856
Respect it, don't neglect it.
1328
00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:12,685
All right. That's what I'm
talking about, baby. My brother.
1329
00:55:12,768 --> 00:55:14,395
Treat it, don't beat it, my man.
All right, baby.
1330
00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:16,985
You're a badass motherfucker.
1331
00:55:18,690 --> 00:55:20,033
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1332
00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:24,618
Hey.
(GROANS)
1333
00:55:24,738 --> 00:55:27,366
God, man.
What's up, white boy?
1334
00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:29,076
I'm here for my minivan.
What's up?
1335
00:55:29,284 --> 00:55:31,662
(LAUGHS) Get out of here.
1336
00:55:31,745 --> 00:55:34,168
What, are you stalking me now?
You're stealing my car?
1337
00:55:34,248 --> 00:55:36,216
I'm serious.
Give me the keys.
1338
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:39,090
Look, homey, we got beef.
You understand that?
1339
00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:40,386
Just give me the keys.
1340
00:55:40,462 --> 00:55:43,181
Step back, homey!
This ain't where you belong!
1341
00:55:43,257 --> 00:55:45,510
All right, you're going
to listen to me, okay?
1342
00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:48,220
You're right, I threw up in
your grandmother's ashes.
1343
00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:49,395
Hell, yeah, you did.
1344
00:55:49,471 --> 00:55:50,518
It was an accident.
1345
00:55:50,597 --> 00:55:51,814
Fucked up.
1346
00:55:51,890 --> 00:55:54,018
I apologize from
the bottom of my heart.
1347
00:55:54,101 --> 00:55:56,445
I have been stuck babysitting
these three kids.
1348
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,818
I was talked into buying
cocaine for my girlfriend,
1349
00:55:58,939 --> 00:56:01,158
who I realize is not
even my girlfriend.
1350
00:56:01,275 --> 00:56:03,528
She's just a girl
who occasionally
1351
00:56:03,610 --> 00:56:05,112
lets me stick
my face in her crotch
1352
00:56:05,195 --> 00:56:07,197
and who's mean to me all the time.
Okay? (ALL LAUGH)
1353
00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:09,329
And this time, making her happy
1354
00:56:09,408 --> 00:56:11,376
is probably
gonna get me killed.
1355
00:56:11,451 --> 00:56:15,172
You're acting all gangster, stealing
cars, hanging out with thugs.
1356
00:56:15,289 --> 00:56:16,290
Well, you know what?
1357
00:56:16,373 --> 00:56:19,252
A few years ago we went to the
same lame-ass high school.
1358
00:56:19,334 --> 00:56:22,759
The point is, you and I
are two fucked-up kids
1359
00:56:22,838 --> 00:56:24,181
meeting on the playground.
1360
00:56:24,298 --> 00:56:29,304
I came here for my motherfucking
keys to my motherfucking minivan,
1361
00:56:29,386 --> 00:56:30,808
and that's what's up!
1362
00:56:32,264 --> 00:56:34,892
(ALL LAUGHING)
1363
00:56:35,017 --> 00:56:36,690
Is that supposed to be
a threat, little man?
1364
00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:37,936
I ain't giving you shit.
1365
00:56:38,020 --> 00:56:39,146
It's not a threat.
1366
00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:41,607
I'm going to put both my
hands behind my back,
1367
00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:44,193
and you get one punch to my
face as hard as you want.
1368
00:56:44,318 --> 00:56:45,911
I can punch you in the face?
1369
00:56:45,986 --> 00:56:47,533
You deserve to
punch me in the face.
1370
00:56:47,654 --> 00:56:49,406
Go on, baby.
Punch him in the face.
1371
00:56:49,489 --> 00:56:51,332
(WHISPERS) My face
is ready to receive you.
1372
00:56:52,159 --> 00:56:53,832
Noah, don't!
What?
1373
00:56:53,994 --> 00:56:56,088
CROWD: Oh!
1374
00:56:56,330 --> 00:56:57,331
TINA: Bitch.
1375
00:56:58,081 --> 00:56:59,549
BLITHE: Noah!
1376
00:56:59,625 --> 00:57:01,047
I fucking love you right now.
1377
00:57:02,044 --> 00:57:04,467
You killed my babysitter!
1378
00:57:04,546 --> 00:57:05,763
Noah?
1379
00:57:07,174 --> 00:57:08,847
(GROANS) That was bad.
1380
00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:10,223
BLITHE: Are you okay?
Yeah.
1381
00:57:10,427 --> 00:57:11,428
(ALL EXCLAIM IN SURPRISE)
1382
00:57:11,511 --> 00:57:13,605
Oh, shit. I'm all right!
1383
00:57:14,848 --> 00:57:16,816
I'm okay!
(ALL APPLAUDING)
1384
00:57:16,892 --> 00:57:18,394
I'm okay!
1385
00:57:18,518 --> 00:57:19,895
She won this round, right?
1386
00:57:20,020 --> 00:57:21,397
Oh, shit.
1387
00:57:21,521 --> 00:57:24,024
She punched my face, but it's cool!
It's all good.
1388
00:57:25,859 --> 00:57:27,236
Looks like we're even.
1389
00:57:32,074 --> 00:57:35,078
Guess you ain't the little pussy
you used to be. Huh, Noah?
1390
00:57:35,202 --> 00:57:37,671
Nope, I'm a whole
different pussy now.
1391
00:57:37,746 --> 00:57:39,748
All right, boy. Respect.
1392
00:57:41,249 --> 00:57:43,798
Unlock it. What's inside?
1393
00:57:43,877 --> 00:57:45,550
Oh, shit, it's a bomb.
1394
00:57:46,922 --> 00:57:49,266
Hell, yeah. I feel that.
1395
00:57:49,383 --> 00:57:51,932
NOAH: Let that debris
fall across your face, girl.
1396
00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:53,891
Look here, little homey.
1397
00:57:54,429 --> 00:57:56,022
I like your style, you dig?
1398
00:57:56,098 --> 00:57:57,190
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
1399
00:57:57,265 --> 00:57:59,108
You stand up for yours,
and I can respect that.
1400
00:57:59,226 --> 00:58:04,027
If we ever need a crazy-ass white
boy to roll with us one day
1401
00:58:04,106 --> 00:58:08,612
and get punched in the face by
motherfuckers, I'm-a call you.
1402
00:58:08,735 --> 00:58:10,362
Know what I mean?
1403
00:58:10,445 --> 00:58:11,662
Yeah, man.
1404
00:58:11,738 --> 00:58:15,038
Yo, listen. Listen.
Let me holler at you for a second.
1405
00:58:15,117 --> 00:58:16,494
I just wanna let you know,
1406
00:58:16,576 --> 00:58:19,045
I just want to throw a monster
shout-out back at you, my man.
1407
00:58:19,121 --> 00:58:20,919
Monster shout-out
back at me, right?
1408
00:58:20,998 --> 00:58:22,420
I don't understand
what the fuck that is,
1409
00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:23,876
but it sound good, though.
1410
00:58:23,959 --> 00:58:25,506
It's all good, baby.
All right, brother.
1411
00:58:25,585 --> 00:58:27,462
Peace to you.
I fucking love you, dawg.
1412
00:58:29,756 --> 00:58:31,429
Noah, are you all right?
1413
00:58:32,092 --> 00:58:34,265
(HOARSELY) I feel
so cool right now.
1414
00:58:35,220 --> 00:58:36,267
(LAUGHING)
1415
00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:37,393
This place is cool.
1416
00:58:37,472 --> 00:58:40,817
I honestly might start DJ-ing here.
I don't know.
1417
00:58:40,934 --> 00:58:42,026
Okay, that's all right,
1418
00:58:42,102 --> 00:58:44,981
but do you really think that this is
an appropriate place to bring kids?
1419
00:58:45,105 --> 00:58:48,484
I don't know. Look, Rodrigo's over
there chatting up some prostitutes.
1420
00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:52,238
You got Slater schooling Bell
Biv DeVoe over there in pool.
1421
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:55,540
And Blithe's doing the Riverdance
over in the bowling alley.
1422
00:58:55,615 --> 00:58:56,787
Honestly,
this is the first time
1423
00:58:56,867 --> 00:58:58,039
I've seen them
having any kind of fun,
1424
00:58:58,118 --> 00:59:00,337
so what the hell?
1425
00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:06,468
You know what that is?
1426
00:59:06,543 --> 00:59:08,216
What is that?
1427
00:59:08,295 --> 00:59:10,138
Just me being cool.
Playing it cool.
1428
00:59:11,173 --> 00:59:13,050
No big deal.
1429
00:59:13,133 --> 00:59:14,225
You're crazy.
1430
00:59:14,301 --> 00:59:16,429
You're crazy
slash beautiful. Whatever.
1431
00:59:21,850 --> 00:59:24,069
So, did you drive here?
1432
00:59:24,144 --> 00:59:25,521
No, I took a cab.
1433
00:59:25,645 --> 00:59:27,113
Maybe you should
take my dad's car,
1434
00:59:27,189 --> 00:59:29,408
because I can't drive
both of them anyways.
1435
00:59:29,483 --> 00:59:31,030
Are you serious?
1436
00:59:31,109 --> 00:59:33,077
Yeah, it'd actually
really help me out.
1437
00:59:33,153 --> 00:59:34,871
Okay. How are
you gonna find me?
1438
00:59:34,946 --> 00:59:36,539
Do you have a phone?
1439
00:59:39,201 --> 00:59:40,748
Okay. See you.
1440
00:59:40,827 --> 00:59:42,044
Yeah. (LAUGHS)
1441
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:43,292
Just kidding.
1442
00:59:43,371 --> 00:59:46,921
Here, this is my phone number,
and then you can call me.
1443
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,752
Okay.
1444
00:59:49,669 --> 00:59:51,387
I'll call you.
1445
00:59:52,172 --> 00:59:53,594
Hey, uh,
1446
00:59:53,673 --> 00:59:55,425
why did you say something to me
1447
00:59:55,509 --> 00:59:57,182
when you saw me earlier?
I feel like
1448
00:59:57,260 --> 00:59:59,683
you kind of ignored me
all freshman year.
1449
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:05,569
I don't know. I thought you
were really funny and smart
1450
01:00:05,685 --> 01:00:07,278
and seemed really sweet.
1451
01:00:08,355 --> 01:00:11,234
I guess I was kind of nervous
to talk to you back then.
1452
01:00:12,567 --> 01:00:15,036
You were nervous to talk to me?
1453
01:00:15,529 --> 01:00:17,076
Yeah.
1454
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:19,203
(MOBILE RINGING)
1455
01:00:19,366 --> 01:00:21,039
My phone's ringing.
1456
01:00:21,910 --> 01:00:24,538
Shit, it's my girlfriend.
I'm sorry. I have to take this.
1457
01:00:24,621 --> 01:00:26,043
Girlfriend.
Yeah.
1458
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:28,132
Hello?
1459
01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:30,877
All right. See you later.
1460
01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:31,962
Call me about the car.
1461
01:00:32,295 --> 01:00:33,842
Yeah.
Noah.
1462
01:00:33,922 --> 01:00:35,924
NOAH: Listen to me You need
to leave that party right now.
1463
01:00:36,049 --> 01:00:39,098
Noah, this party is breathtaking,
so I'm not gonna leave it.
1464
01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:40,937
Breathtaking?
Marisa, listen to me.
1465
01:00:41,054 --> 01:00:45,230
You need to listen to me.
You have been jerking me around all night.
1466
01:00:45,308 --> 01:00:48,778
And you wanna know what?
It's disrespectful and it's lame.
1467
01:00:48,895 --> 01:00:51,364
Just, if Karl and Julio show
up, stay away from them.
1468
01:00:51,439 --> 01:00:52,486
They're dangerous.
1469
01:00:52,566 --> 01:00:54,364
They're not dangerous.
You're being an idiot.
1470
01:00:54,442 --> 01:00:57,161
I'm very close.
I'm coming for you, Marisa, okay?
1471
01:00:57,237 --> 01:00:58,454
Okay
1472
01:00:58,655 --> 01:01:00,908
(SIREN SQUAWKING)
1473
01:01:01,283 --> 01:01:03,081
Oh, shit.
1474
01:01:06,580 --> 01:01:08,503
I can't decide if
this is funny or not.
1475
01:01:08,582 --> 01:01:10,380
NOAH: It's not funny at all.
1476
01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:11,880
How you doing tonight, my man?
1477
01:01:12,252 --> 01:01:13,845
Do you have any idea
why I stopped you?
1478
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:15,297
No.
You ran a red light
1479
01:01:15,380 --> 01:01:17,178
and you're not
wearing your seat belt.
1480
01:01:17,257 --> 01:01:19,680
All right, why don't you
step out of the car, pal?
1481
01:01:20,510 --> 01:01:21,682
Do me a favor.
Put your hands on the trunk.
1482
01:01:21,761 --> 01:01:23,013
OFFICER: Easy, cowboy.
1483
01:01:23,096 --> 01:01:24,222
What's this?
1484
01:01:24,306 --> 01:01:25,649
It's a luchador action figure.
1485
01:01:25,724 --> 01:01:27,021
Luchadors, I love these guys.
1486
01:01:27,100 --> 01:01:28,352
Look at this.
1487
01:01:28,435 --> 01:01:29,982
Frank, what's in there?
1488
01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:31,904
What's this, my man?
1489
01:01:31,980 --> 01:01:32,981
(SIGHS)
1490
01:01:33,064 --> 01:01:34,111
You got a little
party in your pocket?
1491
01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:35,818
It's not mine, I swear to God.
1492
01:01:35,901 --> 01:01:38,120
I'm just holding it
for my girlfriend.
1493
01:01:38,195 --> 01:01:39,242
I'm just holding it for her.
1494
01:01:39,321 --> 01:01:40,368
You're going out
with a cokehead?
1495
01:01:40,447 --> 01:01:42,415
Bag of fucking
actual diamonds here.
1496
01:01:42,490 --> 01:01:45,710
Oh. Okay. Jacob the Jeweler.
You're tits in a ditch, my man.
1497
01:01:45,785 --> 01:01:47,708
Tits in a ditch.
Is that good?
1498
01:01:47,787 --> 01:01:50,085
Sometimes it's good.
Sometimes it's real bad.
1499
01:01:50,165 --> 01:01:53,044
What is that?
Oh, no shit!
1500
01:01:53,168 --> 01:01:54,886
Is that you?
That's the fucking bathroom guy!
1501
01:01:54,961 --> 01:01:56,884
Mr. Toilet Explosion?
That's not me.
1502
01:01:56,963 --> 01:01:58,886
I've never actually
been the guy on duty
1503
01:01:58,965 --> 01:02:00,808
to catch the fucking
guy in the sketch.
1504
01:02:00,884 --> 01:02:02,227
What are they doing to him?
1505
01:02:02,302 --> 01:02:04,179
Do me a favor.
You got this? Yeah.
1506
01:02:07,182 --> 01:02:09,059
You got it?
Yeah. I like that.
1507
01:02:09,142 --> 01:02:10,985
That's one for your wallet.
Check it out! Check it out!
1508
01:02:11,061 --> 01:02:12,313
It's great.
All right, sir, do me a favor,
1509
01:02:12,395 --> 01:02:13,442
go stand by your vehicle.
1510
01:02:13,521 --> 01:02:15,319
We're going to run
your profile. All right?
1511
01:02:15,398 --> 01:02:18,026
This is mine.
I'm gonna take responsibility...
1512
01:02:18,151 --> 01:02:21,155
Sir! Go stand by your vehicle.
Please.
1513
01:02:23,698 --> 01:02:25,325
Hey, so here's the deal.
1514
01:02:25,408 --> 01:02:27,126
I think I'm about
to get arrested.
1515
01:02:27,202 --> 01:02:29,796
I messed up and I put
your lives in danger.
1516
01:02:29,871 --> 01:02:31,043
You's got the diamonds?
1517
01:02:31,164 --> 01:02:32,586
NOAH: Things just got out of
hand so quickly... (BOTH GRUNT)
1518
01:02:32,666 --> 01:02:33,792
Let's party!
1519
01:02:33,875 --> 01:02:34,967
And I'm really, really sorry.
1520
01:02:35,460 --> 01:02:36,586
(ENGINE STARTING)
1521
01:02:36,878 --> 01:02:38,221
Whoa. Are they leaving?
1522
01:02:38,338 --> 01:02:40,466
Hey! What are
you doing? Stop!
1523
01:02:40,548 --> 01:02:42,767
Please! I need those diamonds!
Come back!
1524
01:02:42,842 --> 01:02:44,810
Damn it! (GROANS)
1525
01:02:59,067 --> 01:03:01,069
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
1526
01:03:04,739 --> 01:03:07,162
All right, I'm going to
go find my girlfriend.
1527
01:03:07,242 --> 01:03:09,040
Marisa!
1528
01:03:10,745 --> 01:03:12,088
Marisa!
1529
01:03:14,791 --> 01:03:16,589
Stephanie,
have you seen Marisa?
1530
01:03:16,668 --> 01:03:19,592
I don't know, it's my birthday!
1531
01:03:19,671 --> 01:03:20,797
Why are you upside down?
1532
01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:22,302
Why aren't you upside down?
1533
01:03:22,382 --> 01:03:23,474
Okay.
1534
01:03:23,550 --> 01:03:24,597
Take care of yourself.
1535
01:03:24,676 --> 01:03:26,678
You're not invited any more.
1536
01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:30,102
G-Bert, sorry to
interrupt, man.
1537
01:03:30,724 --> 01:03:32,067
What's up, Noah?
1538
01:03:32,142 --> 01:03:33,564
Have you seen Marisa?
1539
01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:34,986
Who's Marisa?
She's my girlfriend.
1540
01:03:35,061 --> 01:03:36,483
She's like my height,
blonde hair.
1541
01:03:37,647 --> 01:03:39,274
No, sorry.
No.
1542
01:03:39,357 --> 01:03:41,655
If I find her, we should all
hang out next week or something.
1543
01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:42,782
Totally, yeah.
1544
01:03:42,861 --> 01:03:43,987
Yeah, great.
You have great breasts. Thanks.
1545
01:03:44,070 --> 01:03:45,287
Thank you.
Later, Noah.
1546
01:03:48,908 --> 01:03:50,626
What are you doing?
Fuck you.
1547
01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:54,206
Why are you such
an asshole, Rodrigo?
1548
01:03:55,790 --> 01:03:57,667
Ever since
you moved in with us,
1549
01:03:57,751 --> 01:03:59,549
you've been so mean
to everybody!
1550
01:03:59,627 --> 01:04:01,721
What's wrong with you?
1551
01:04:01,796 --> 01:04:03,139
You want to know
what's wrong with me?
1552
01:04:03,214 --> 01:04:05,012
This is my third family
in three years.
1553
01:04:05,091 --> 01:04:06,559
When your papas
get tired with me,
1554
01:04:06,634 --> 01:04:08,056
they give me to
another families.
1555
01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:09,433
That happens every time.
1556
01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:12,516
Well, maybe if you didn't do
such messed-up stuff
1557
01:04:12,599 --> 01:04:15,853
then they would actually feel
like you wanted to be here.
1558
01:04:15,935 --> 01:04:17,608
You don't know me.
You look at me
1559
01:04:17,687 --> 01:04:19,280
like a crazy that live
in your house.
1560
01:04:19,356 --> 01:04:21,859
That's not true.
You never talk to us.
1561
01:04:21,941 --> 01:04:25,161
Honestly,
you're pretty scary, man.
1562
01:04:26,863 --> 01:04:29,616
I no scary.
I just like having fun.
1563
01:04:29,783 --> 01:04:31,535
Boom, boom, boom. Kaboom.
1564
01:04:31,618 --> 01:04:33,962
Hey, guys, I can't find
Marisa anywhere. Let's go.
1565
01:04:34,245 --> 01:04:35,747
Come on. Where's Blithe?
1566
01:04:38,458 --> 01:04:40,301
Blithe, get down from there.
We have to go.
1567
01:04:40,377 --> 01:04:42,471
These are my friends!
Come on, we're having fun.
1568
01:04:42,545 --> 01:04:43,762
No. They're not your friends.
1569
01:04:43,838 --> 01:04:45,681
They're drunk and they're
making fun of you, okay?
1570
01:04:45,799 --> 01:04:47,722
You need to get down here right now.
What are you doing?
1571
01:04:47,801 --> 01:04:49,269
Listen, they're drunk.
Let's go.
1572
01:04:49,344 --> 01:04:50,470
Come up here!
1573
01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:51,679
They just want
to dance with me!
1574
01:04:51,763 --> 01:04:52,810
They don't want to dance...
1575
01:04:52,889 --> 01:04:54,687
Oh! You're here!
1576
01:04:54,766 --> 01:04:57,770
Where have you been?
This has been the best night ever.
1577
01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:00,526
Are those kids?
Yeah. They're with me.
1578
01:05:00,647 --> 01:05:01,944
I'll explain.
We need to get out of here right now.
1579
01:05:02,023 --> 01:05:03,821
Did you get the party favors?
1580
01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:05,743
I had them and now I don't.
I'll explain.
1581
01:05:05,819 --> 01:05:07,571
We need to get out
of here right now.
1582
01:05:07,654 --> 01:05:09,577
I'm serious.
It's Ricky.
1583
01:05:09,656 --> 01:05:10,748
We don't have time for this.
1584
01:05:10,824 --> 01:05:12,622
That is Ricky Fontaine.
He is my ex-boyfriend.
1585
01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:14,327
I obviously have to go say hi.
1586
01:05:14,411 --> 01:05:15,583
Ricky!
1587
01:05:15,662 --> 01:05:16,754
NOAH: You're drunk, Marisa.
1588
01:05:17,163 --> 01:05:18,415
Hey.
1589
01:05:18,498 --> 01:05:19,670
Marisa.
1590
01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:21,046
What's up? How are you?
1591
01:05:21,126 --> 01:05:24,255
You haven't responded to any of my
texts in, like, a really long time.
1592
01:05:24,337 --> 01:05:26,339
Yeah. There's a reason
for that.
1593
01:05:26,423 --> 01:05:30,348
Marisa, I'm sorry.
I don't know how else I can say it.
1594
01:05:30,427 --> 01:05:33,180
We had a great run,
but it's over now,
1595
01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:35,607
and I wish you the best
and I pray for you, I do.
1596
01:05:36,057 --> 01:05:37,479
Is everything okay?
1597
01:05:37,934 --> 01:05:41,279
Actually, no.
Ricky's being kind of a dick.
1598
01:05:41,354 --> 01:05:42,446
Why don't you defend me, Noah?
1599
01:05:42,522 --> 01:05:43,523
BOTH: What?
1600
01:05:43,606 --> 01:05:45,574
Yeah. You're being
a real dick!
1601
01:05:45,650 --> 01:05:47,277
Defend me!
You're being mean!
1602
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:49,579
What are you talking about?
I've been nothing but cool to you, man.
1603
01:05:49,654 --> 01:05:51,156
Okay. She's drunk.
1604
01:05:51,239 --> 01:05:53,913
There's a misunderstanding happening.
Why don't we all just relax?
1605
01:05:53,992 --> 01:05:55,164
(MOUTHING)
1606
01:05:55,243 --> 01:05:57,120
No offense, bro,
but who are you?
1607
01:05:57,203 --> 01:05:58,546
I'm Noah. We're dating.
1608
01:05:58,621 --> 01:05:59,918
MARISA: He's my friend.
1609
01:05:59,998 --> 01:06:01,796
We're in a relationship, okay?
1610
01:06:01,875 --> 01:06:03,923
Friendship relationship.
1611
01:06:04,002 --> 01:06:05,094
Well, good luck with that, bro,
1612
01:06:05,170 --> 01:06:07,298
'cause dealing with her
is a pretty big nightmare.
1613
01:06:07,380 --> 01:06:08,882
I don't envy you.
1614
01:06:08,965 --> 01:06:11,935
That is a terrible thing
to say to somebody!
1615
01:06:12,552 --> 01:06:13,599
What?
1616
01:06:13,678 --> 01:06:17,148
Look, you hurt her feelings.
Okay? Just be nice.
1617
01:06:17,223 --> 01:06:19,146
What are you going
to do about it, bro?
1618
01:06:19,934 --> 01:06:21,356
What?
1619
01:06:24,355 --> 01:06:25,402
What the hell was that?
1620
01:06:25,482 --> 01:06:28,986
A throat jab? I don't know.
I don't street-fight very often.
1621
01:06:31,029 --> 01:06:32,451
Shit! (GRUNTS)
1622
01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:34,787
I broke my ass!
1623
01:06:34,866 --> 01:06:37,335
(WHOOPS)
You just got Fontained!
1624
01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:39,337
Are you okay, Noah?
1625
01:06:39,412 --> 01:06:40,834
Yeah.
1626
01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:43,758
Get out of here.
I got it. I got this guy.
1627
01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:45,585
Right here. Right here.
1628
01:06:48,421 --> 01:06:49,923
Noah!
(CRYING OUT IN PAIN)
1629
01:06:50,006 --> 01:06:51,679
Oh, that's bad!
Oh, my back!
1630
01:06:51,758 --> 01:06:52,850
What do we do?
1631
01:06:52,926 --> 01:06:54,928
Rodrigo! Flying Burrito!
1632
01:06:58,181 --> 01:07:00,058
Jesus! My ear!
1633
01:07:00,141 --> 01:07:01,734
Did I get him good?
1634
01:07:01,809 --> 01:07:03,482
Get off!
1635
01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:04,608
Hey. Ricky!
1636
01:07:08,149 --> 01:07:09,947
Double punch to the nut sack!
1637
01:07:10,026 --> 01:07:11,619
(GROANS)
1638
01:07:11,694 --> 01:07:13,446
Come on, Blithe!
We gotta get out of here!
1639
01:07:13,530 --> 01:07:14,531
Ricky? Are you okay?
1640
01:07:15,573 --> 01:07:16,665
Listen, we gotta go right now.
1641
01:07:16,741 --> 01:07:18,288
Where's the party?
I love parties.
1642
01:07:18,409 --> 01:07:20,377
Oh, shit! We gotta go right now!
Hey, what's up, party animal?
1643
01:07:20,453 --> 01:07:21,955
How you doing?
Hey, man...
1644
01:07:22,038 --> 01:07:23,039
(GUN FIRES)
1645
01:07:23,122 --> 01:07:24,339
Karl!
(ALL SCREAMING)
1646
01:07:27,460 --> 01:07:28,586
(SCREAMING)
1647
01:07:28,670 --> 01:07:30,047
Come on, come on.
1648
01:07:30,129 --> 01:07:32,097
KARL: Who wants to party?
1649
01:07:32,507 --> 01:07:35,386
Anybody want to party?
Let's party!
1650
01:07:36,970 --> 01:07:39,564
Back it up! Back it up!
1651
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:41,892
What's up?
1652
01:07:41,975 --> 01:07:42,976
Nobody wanna dance with me!
1653
01:07:43,059 --> 01:07:44,060
Let's party!
1654
01:07:47,730 --> 01:07:50,233
Come on, you got it.
Let's go. You got it.
1655
01:07:50,316 --> 01:07:51,738
I can't believe
you're making me do this.
1656
01:07:53,570 --> 01:07:55,413
Where are the kids?
Who cares? Let's just go.
1657
01:07:55,488 --> 01:07:56,865
Please, I just want
to go home with you.
1658
01:07:56,948 --> 01:07:58,245
I just want to get out of here.
1659
01:07:58,324 --> 01:08:00,668
What are you talking about?
They're my responsibility.
1660
01:08:00,743 --> 01:08:02,871
Who cares? I just
want to get out of here!
1661
01:08:02,954 --> 01:08:04,376
I care.
1662
01:08:05,248 --> 01:08:06,795
Hi.
1663
01:08:06,874 --> 01:08:08,421
What the fuck?
Hey, come on.
1664
01:08:08,501 --> 01:08:10,174
RODRIGO: Come here!
1665
01:08:10,253 --> 01:08:12,551
Go, go, go, go, go! Move!
1666
01:08:12,630 --> 01:08:14,007
How'd you learn
to hot-wire a car?
1667
01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:15,467
RODRIGO:
I know many things.
1668
01:08:15,550 --> 01:08:17,223
What is with all these kids?
1669
01:08:20,555 --> 01:08:22,273
What is that?
1670
01:08:22,348 --> 01:08:23,770
It's Karl's gang.
1671
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:24,851
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
1672
01:08:24,934 --> 01:08:27,187
Go! They gonna kill us!
1673
01:08:27,270 --> 01:08:28,647
(SCREAMING)
MARISA: Oh, my God!
1674
01:08:28,730 --> 01:08:30,232
Oh, my God!
1675
01:08:31,608 --> 01:08:32,985
Get off the car!
1676
01:08:33,067 --> 01:08:35,695
MARISA: Oh, my God!
Is that a man or a woman?
1677
01:08:35,778 --> 01:08:37,530
RODRIGO: Go, Noah!
Fucking drive, Noah!
1678
01:08:37,614 --> 01:08:39,241
Push the gas!
1679
01:08:50,335 --> 01:08:51,632
What the hell is going on?
1680
01:08:51,711 --> 01:08:54,180
Next time, you use a bazooka
instead of a sledgehammer.
1681
01:08:54,255 --> 01:08:55,552
What are you, El DeBarge?
1682
01:08:55,632 --> 01:08:57,600
Let's go, come on, Jeremy!
1683
01:08:57,717 --> 01:08:59,219
What the hell is this?
Get out of the way!
1684
01:09:00,386 --> 01:09:01,808
Is there anyone in
this car who can tell me
1685
01:09:01,888 --> 01:09:03,231
what the hell is going on here?
1686
01:09:03,306 --> 01:09:04,478
Noah, they're coming!
1687
01:09:04,557 --> 01:09:06,230
JULIO: Gonna kill yo ass,
Noah Griffith!
1688
01:09:06,309 --> 01:09:07,811
Coming to get you!
Catch up!
1689
01:09:07,894 --> 01:09:09,316
Fucking die! You die!
1690
01:09:09,395 --> 01:09:11,022
All right, kids,
fasten your seat belts!
1691
01:09:17,403 --> 01:09:18,450
They're going to kill us!
1692
01:09:19,364 --> 01:09:20,411
(KARL AND JULIO SCREAMING)
1693
01:09:22,617 --> 01:09:23,709
JULIO: Watch this.
Watch this.
1694
01:09:24,744 --> 01:09:26,337
(ALL SCREAMING)
1695
01:09:26,412 --> 01:09:27,538
ls everyone okay?
1696
01:09:27,622 --> 01:09:29,124
I'm scared, Noah!
1697
01:09:29,207 --> 01:09:30,959
Noah, stall them!
I have an idea!
1698
01:09:31,042 --> 01:09:32,464
Roll down the window!
1699
01:09:32,543 --> 01:09:35,513
I have your money!
I just want to be your friend!
1700
01:09:35,588 --> 01:09:37,181
Are you serious?
You've been really
1701
01:09:37,256 --> 01:09:38,849
wishy-washy about
the whole thing.
1702
01:09:38,925 --> 01:09:41,178
No, I know! I've been going through
my own personal situation!
1703
01:09:41,260 --> 01:09:43,729
It's really scary entering
into a new friendship!
1704
01:09:43,805 --> 01:09:45,557
I just don't want to deal
with a broken heart.
1705
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:47,893
Maybe I don't want to be friends!
How's that?
1706
01:09:47,975 --> 01:09:50,319
He really wants to
be your friend, Karl!
1707
01:09:50,395 --> 01:09:52,568
NOAH: It's just I've been
burned in the past, bud!
1708
01:09:52,647 --> 01:09:54,524
KARL: Seriously?
NOAH: Kaboom!
1709
01:09:54,607 --> 01:09:55,699
Oh, shit!
1710
01:09:56,776 --> 01:09:58,028
(JULIO SCREAMING
IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
1711
01:09:58,111 --> 01:09:59,579
(KARL YELLING)
1712
01:09:59,654 --> 01:10:01,372
KARL: Shit!
Hold the wheel straight!
1713
01:10:02,949 --> 01:10:04,292
Wait, wait!
(SCREAMING)
1714
01:10:04,951 --> 01:10:06,123
JULIO: Oh, shit!
1715
01:10:08,705 --> 01:10:10,707
Yes! Nice!
1716
01:10:11,624 --> 01:10:13,626
Whoa! Shit! (SCREAMING)
1717
01:10:19,298 --> 01:10:20,345
Are you guys Okay?
1718
01:10:20,425 --> 01:10:22,894
No. I'm not okay.
We just crashed the car.
1719
01:10:22,969 --> 01:10:24,562
What just happened?
1720
01:10:24,637 --> 01:10:26,810
Wait, so did you get the coke?
1721
01:10:27,390 --> 01:10:29,939
Kids, kids, kids.
I love kids.
1722
01:10:30,017 --> 01:10:31,564
How you doing, Noah Griffith?
1723
01:10:31,644 --> 01:10:33,521
Hey, Karl, why you
got to be so crazy, man?
1724
01:10:33,604 --> 01:10:34,821
Hey, man, I'm crazy.
1725
01:10:34,897 --> 01:10:36,069
(WHISPERING) That's a gun.
1726
01:10:36,149 --> 01:10:38,572
Marisa, why don't you do me a favor?
Take these kids and go home.
1727
01:10:38,651 --> 01:10:40,995
I'm going to have an adult
conversation with the babysitter.
1728
01:10:41,070 --> 01:10:43,539
Look, I know you guys want to
stay with me, it's your instinct,
1729
01:10:43,614 --> 01:10:47,369
but you have to
fend for yourself.
1730
01:10:49,579 --> 01:10:51,547
KARL: Oh, you're
all alone now, huh?
1731
01:10:51,831 --> 01:10:53,048
(YELLS)
1732
01:10:53,124 --> 01:10:54,250
Hurts, don't it?
1733
01:10:54,333 --> 01:10:56,802
Yeah. I got a little
boo-boo myself.
1734
01:11:00,590 --> 01:11:02,388
You're mean!
Noah Griffith!
1735
01:11:02,675 --> 01:11:04,018
(FIRES)
1736
01:11:04,135 --> 01:11:05,762
(GUN CLICKS)
1737
01:11:05,928 --> 01:11:08,932
You got mud in my gun,
Noah Griffith!
1738
01:11:09,015 --> 01:11:11,814
My 11th best friend
gave me this gun!
1739
01:11:12,435 --> 01:11:14,403
BLITHE: Marisa, wait!
Did you hear that?
1740
01:11:15,772 --> 01:11:17,740
No, I didn't hear anything.
1741
01:11:17,815 --> 01:11:19,863
It's your very childlike
and vivid imagination.
1742
01:11:19,942 --> 01:11:21,068
Noah might be hurt!
1743
01:11:21,152 --> 01:11:22,199
That's a pistola.
1744
01:11:22,278 --> 01:11:23,450
What if he needs us?
1745
01:11:23,529 --> 01:11:26,328
He's not in trouble.
He's hugging it out with Karl in the minivan.
1746
01:11:40,755 --> 01:11:42,803
I just need to get out of here.
1747
01:11:42,882 --> 01:11:44,850
Thanks to you guys,
my night is ruined!
1748
01:11:44,926 --> 01:11:47,600
I was having a really fun night
before you showed up! Taxi!
1749
01:11:47,678 --> 01:11:49,100
We were supposed to
have a fun night, too!
1750
01:11:49,180 --> 01:11:51,683
You are the reason that we
are even in this situation!
1751
01:11:51,766 --> 01:11:54,485
(SOBBING) Okay, fine!
I'm a terrible person.
1752
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:56,983
Okay? I admit it, I could be a
lot better in this situation,
1753
01:11:57,063 --> 01:12:00,317
but I'm just feeling really overwhelmed.
I don't know what's going on.
1754
01:12:00,399 --> 01:12:03,369
I'm stuck with these three
kids and I hate kids,
1755
01:12:03,444 --> 01:12:05,287
and I just don't
know what to do!
1756
01:12:05,363 --> 01:12:07,661
Marisa?
Stop being such a spaz.
1757
01:12:07,740 --> 01:12:10,084
Give me your phone.
I've got an idea.
1758
01:12:10,159 --> 01:12:11,752
Noah Griffith!
1759
01:12:11,828 --> 01:12:14,877
Yes! Where you at, babycakes?
1760
01:12:15,665 --> 01:12:17,258
Where you at?
1761
01:12:17,667 --> 01:12:19,590
I see you, Noah Griffith.
1762
01:12:20,837 --> 01:12:22,054
Yes!
1763
01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:25,425
Noah Griffith?
1764
01:12:26,342 --> 01:12:28,140
Good game!
1765
01:12:28,427 --> 01:12:32,978
(WHOOPS) You passed the test!
Passed the prank! Passed the car chase.
1766
01:12:33,057 --> 01:12:34,559
You're in the club, player!
1767
01:12:35,518 --> 01:12:37,691
Surprise!
1768
01:12:37,770 --> 01:12:39,192
Stay back! Back up!
1769
01:12:39,272 --> 01:12:40,694
Whoa! Okay. Chill out.
1770
01:12:40,773 --> 01:12:43,276
Listen to me.
I don't have your money.
1771
01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:46,283
And I'm going to stop risking
my life to get it for you.
1772
01:12:46,362 --> 01:12:48,285
Rodrigo took an egg
from your house.
1773
01:12:48,364 --> 01:12:50,241
It exploded,
it's gone, I'm sorry.
1774
01:12:50,324 --> 01:12:51,997
What do you think
this is, a game?
1775
01:12:52,076 --> 01:12:54,955
You don't fuck with a drug dealer.
Are you out of your mind?
1776
01:12:55,037 --> 01:12:56,789
You owe me money!
1777
01:12:56,873 --> 01:12:58,591
I got a call from a little lady
1778
01:12:58,666 --> 01:13:01,044
said there was some trouble
brewing in the park tonight.
1779
01:13:01,127 --> 01:13:02,299
Lookit here.
1780
01:13:02,378 --> 01:13:04,005
TINA: Oh, shit.
1781
01:13:04,088 --> 01:13:06,762
What's going down on the playground?
What up, Noah?
1782
01:13:06,841 --> 01:13:08,263
What are you guys doing here?
1783
01:13:08,342 --> 01:13:11,471
Told you, we'd be around.
What y'all up to?
1784
01:13:11,554 --> 01:13:13,727
This guy, he's crazy.
He's trying to kill me!
1785
01:13:13,806 --> 01:13:15,274
He's trying to kill the kids
I'm babysitting.
1786
01:13:15,349 --> 01:13:16,896
He's nuts!
He's out of his mind.
1787
01:13:16,976 --> 01:13:18,569
TINA: Who? This stinky bitch?
NOAH: Yes.
1788
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:22,194
Let me find out you out here
trying to punk on our boy Noah?
1789
01:13:22,273 --> 01:13:25,903
Fuck is wrong with you?
You don't know who you're messing with.
1790
01:13:25,985 --> 01:13:28,408
He's one misunderstood
motherfucker.
1791
01:13:28,487 --> 01:13:29,454
MAN: Sure you right.
1792
01:13:29,530 --> 01:13:31,578
But I got your back now, Noah.
1793
01:13:31,657 --> 01:13:34,376
'Cause I found out you got
some big-ass balls, man.
1794
01:13:34,827 --> 01:13:36,955
Can't buy underwear.
Balls don't fit.
1795
01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:39,166
TINA: You done messed
with the wrong babysitter.
1796
01:13:39,248 --> 01:13:41,751
You so sexy when
you talk gangsta.
1797
01:13:42,418 --> 01:13:44,011
Look here, Noah.
1798
01:13:44,086 --> 01:13:46,259
Why don't you take
them little kids home?
1799
01:13:46,339 --> 01:13:48,592
We gonna handle
this situation here.
1800
01:13:48,674 --> 01:13:52,474
Thank you, guys, so much.
Soul Baby, text you.
1801
01:13:52,553 --> 01:13:54,476
Make love to the night,
motherfucker.
1802
01:13:54,555 --> 01:13:57,900
Noah Griffith! Where are you going?
I'm not done with you!
1803
01:13:58,768 --> 01:14:01,191
You think your friends are
gonna bail you out of this?
1804
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:02,522
Listen, I'm in a real bad mood.
1805
01:14:02,605 --> 01:14:03,822
I don't want to
hurt you motherfuckers.
1806
01:14:03,898 --> 01:14:05,241
(TINA LAUGHING)
What's up, candy man?
1807
01:14:05,316 --> 01:14:06,863
We're gonna get up in it, boy.
1808
01:14:06,943 --> 01:14:09,492
Put a quarter in my butt.
Let's get this fight farted. Let's go.
1809
01:14:12,782 --> 01:14:14,159
Motherfuckers!
1810
01:14:15,451 --> 01:14:16,703
KARL: Ahh! My nuts!
1811
01:14:17,036 --> 01:14:19,038
(SQUEALING)
1812
01:14:22,458 --> 01:14:23,960
(SCREAMS) Taxi!
1813
01:14:26,337 --> 01:14:27,634
I need a cab, man!
1814
01:14:27,713 --> 01:14:29,556
Hey, man,
your nuts are on fire!
1815
01:14:29,632 --> 01:14:31,430
I know my nuts are on fire!
1816
01:14:32,551 --> 01:14:34,019
That's how your mama like it!
1817
01:14:34,345 --> 01:14:35,813
BLITHE: Noah!
MARISA: Are you okay?
1818
01:14:35,888 --> 01:14:37,856
Yeah, it's too crazy
to explain. We gotta go!
1819
01:14:37,932 --> 01:14:39,024
What happened?
1820
01:14:39,100 --> 01:14:40,192
SLATER: Was that a real gun?
1821
01:14:42,895 --> 01:14:44,647
(SOMETIMES PLAYING)
1822
01:14:44,730 --> 01:14:47,654
Let me tell you about my day.
1823
01:14:47,733 --> 01:14:50,327
It's such a very long day.
1824
01:14:50,403 --> 01:14:52,997
It started around 7:00.
1825
01:14:53,072 --> 01:14:55,245
And I can hear her pray.
1826
01:14:55,324 --> 01:14:58,749
As I walk through the yard.
1827
01:14:58,828 --> 01:15:01,001
I could feel your presence.
1828
01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:03,424
Giving me the time of my life.
1829
01:15:03,541 --> 01:15:05,509
And showering me
with life lessons.
1830
01:15:05,584 --> 01:15:08,007
Now I know what they mean.
1831
01:15:08,087 --> 01:15:11,091
When they said
keep your head to the sky.
1832
01:15:11,173 --> 01:15:13,426
Don't be too quick to fit in.
1833
01:15:13,509 --> 01:15:15,932
And don't feel you have to try.
1834
01:15:16,053 --> 01:15:19,899
This road is strange,
so strange it is.
1835
01:15:20,933 --> 01:15:23,186
You know it really hurts inside.
1836
01:15:23,269 --> 01:15:25,112
Yeah, sometimes.
1837
01:15:30,026 --> 01:15:31,448
We're here.
1838
01:15:32,862 --> 01:15:34,455
We're here.
1839
01:15:37,867 --> 01:15:40,290
You must think
I'm such a bitch.
1840
01:15:42,705 --> 01:15:44,252
You shouldn't
waste your feelings
1841
01:15:44,331 --> 01:15:45,878
on people who don't value them.
1842
01:15:49,003 --> 01:15:50,255
You're right.
1843
01:15:50,337 --> 01:15:51,429
I haven't been cool to you.
1844
01:15:51,505 --> 01:15:52,597
I know.
1845
01:15:52,673 --> 01:15:55,768
You haven't.
And I'm over it, too.
1846
01:16:00,306 --> 01:16:01,853
Take care of yourself, Marisa.
All right?
1847
01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:15,947
BLITHE:
Your girlfriend sucks.
1848
01:16:16,030 --> 01:16:17,623
Yes, she does.
1849
01:16:17,698 --> 01:16:20,042
Indeed she does.
1850
01:16:20,993 --> 01:16:22,495
Blithe, I want to
show you something.
1851
01:16:23,662 --> 01:16:25,539
Just because you try and
look more grown up,
1852
01:16:25,623 --> 01:16:28,092
or try and act
like a celebrity,
1853
01:16:28,167 --> 01:16:30,590
or a famous person or whatever,
1854
01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:32,467
it's not gonna
get you more friends.
1855
01:16:33,089 --> 01:16:34,557
You're a kid.
1856
01:16:34,632 --> 01:16:36,305
And a pretty great one.
1857
01:16:40,846 --> 01:16:42,098
Wipe that shit off your face.
1858
01:16:42,181 --> 01:16:43,603
You look insane, okay?
1859
01:16:43,682 --> 01:16:44,899
Okay.
1860
01:16:49,021 --> 01:16:51,274
You know what "blithe" means?
1861
01:16:51,357 --> 01:16:53,200
What?
1862
01:16:53,275 --> 01:16:54,902
It means "joyous."
1863
01:17:00,908 --> 01:17:03,206
SLATER: You know
what "late" means?
1864
01:17:03,744 --> 01:17:04,961
What?
"Late",
1865
01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:07,665
As in fucked, as in we were all
supposed to be in bed by 1:00
1866
01:17:07,748 --> 01:17:09,000
and it's already 10 after.
1867
01:17:09,083 --> 01:17:10,551
Son of a bitch!
1868
01:17:13,963 --> 01:17:17,012
All right, looks like we beat them home.
Let's go inside. Hustle.
1869
01:17:17,383 --> 01:17:18,726
(FAST MUSIC PLAYING)
1870
01:17:37,027 --> 01:17:38,370
Rodrigo!
1871
01:17:43,492 --> 01:17:44,835
Rodrigo!
1872
01:17:45,828 --> 01:17:47,330
Hey! You guys see Rodrigo?
1873
01:17:47,413 --> 01:17:48,915
Hola, Rodrigo!
1874
01:17:48,998 --> 01:17:51,342
Rodrigo! Rodrigo!
1875
01:17:52,751 --> 01:17:54,253
Whoa. Weird.
1876
01:17:54,336 --> 01:17:56,259
That's the most messed up
thing we've seen all night.
1877
01:18:03,387 --> 01:18:04,639
Noah, they're here!
1878
01:18:05,014 --> 01:18:06,812
Okay! Everyone on the couch!
Let's go.
1879
01:18:06,891 --> 01:18:08,438
Let's go! Get on the couch.
Come on!
1880
01:18:10,853 --> 01:18:12,605
The MMA world is abuzz tonight
1881
01:18:12,688 --> 01:18:15,032
with the news of a brutal
out-of-the-ring assault
1882
01:18:15,107 --> 01:18:18,953
on local hero and pro kickboxing
legend Ricky Fontaine.
1883
01:18:19,028 --> 01:18:22,373
Witnesses at the Brooklyn house
party where the assault took place
1884
01:18:22,448 --> 01:18:25,042
described his attacker
as a young man,
1885
01:18:25,117 --> 01:18:27,290
accompanied by
three small children.
1886
01:18:27,369 --> 01:18:28,871
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God.
In another story,
1887
01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:32,128
two small New York businesses experienced
bizarre bathroom explosions.
1888
01:18:32,208 --> 01:18:33,255
Hello.
1889
01:18:33,334 --> 01:18:34,335
Hey, guys!
1890
01:18:34,418 --> 01:18:35,465
Hi. What?
1891
01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:37,797
Hey! Welcome back!
1892
01:18:38,672 --> 01:18:40,470
What's going on?
It's after 1:00 in the morning.
1893
01:18:40,549 --> 01:18:42,551
These kids should be
in bed already, Noah.
1894
01:18:42,635 --> 01:18:44,057
Mom, it's not his fault.
1895
01:18:44,136 --> 01:18:46,639
Yeah. We told him
our bedtime was 1:30.
1896
01:18:46,722 --> 01:18:50,443
I turned the clock back. So sorry.
My deepest apologies.
1897
01:18:51,018 --> 01:18:52,235
NOAH: You darn kids!
1898
01:18:52,311 --> 01:18:54,279
Played a trick on me,
these little rascals.
1899
01:18:54,355 --> 01:18:55,607
I'm not buying it.
1900
01:18:55,689 --> 01:18:58,363
Everybody, upstairs.
Bed! Now.
1901
01:18:58,442 --> 01:18:59,489
Go brush your teeth.
1902
01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:00,569
BLITHE: Sorry, Mom.
1903
01:19:00,653 --> 01:19:02,621
(SIGHS) And say
good night to Noah.
1904
01:19:02,696 --> 01:19:05,040
Maybe he'll be nice enough to
come back and babysit again.
1905
01:19:05,115 --> 01:19:06,492
KIDS: Night, Noah.
1906
01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:07,667
Night, guys.
1907
01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:09,211
And Peter has your money, okay?
1908
01:19:09,286 --> 01:19:10,458
Cool, thanks.
1909
01:19:10,537 --> 01:19:11,663
Oh, Noah!
1910
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:14,170
Your mom told me to tell you
not to wait up for her.
1911
01:19:14,250 --> 01:19:15,843
She and that guy
that I set her up with,
1912
01:19:15,918 --> 01:19:17,420
Dr. Stevens, went out
to have a nightcap.
1913
01:19:17,503 --> 01:19:20,723
Let me tell you, I think she
was having a really good time.
1914
01:19:20,798 --> 01:19:22,095
Thanks for hooking that up.
1915
01:19:22,174 --> 01:19:23,300
Thanks for babysitting.
1916
01:19:23,384 --> 01:19:24,476
See you next time.
1917
01:19:27,513 --> 01:19:29,732
I trust the kids
weren't too much trouble.
1918
01:19:29,807 --> 01:19:31,525
You got three great ones.
1919
01:19:31,600 --> 01:19:33,022
Hey...
1920
01:19:33,102 --> 01:19:34,570
(SIGHING) You want
a recommendation?
1921
01:19:34,645 --> 01:19:36,238
Here's my advice.
1922
01:19:37,564 --> 01:19:39,157
Get your shit together.
1923
01:19:40,442 --> 01:19:42,035
You're right.
1924
01:19:42,111 --> 01:19:44,785
Maybe I do have some stuff
I need to work on.
1925
01:19:44,863 --> 01:19:46,115
But the last person on Earth
1926
01:19:46,198 --> 01:19:49,042
I need to take advice
from is you, sir.
1927
01:19:49,118 --> 01:19:50,870
Excuse me?
1928
01:19:51,287 --> 01:19:54,632
You're banging your assistant,
Debra, and you're going to stop.
1929
01:19:54,707 --> 01:19:55,924
Do you understand me?
1930
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:58,844
I would be very careful
how you talk to me.
1931
01:19:58,919 --> 01:20:01,422
You'd better be very careful
how you talk to me.
1932
01:20:01,505 --> 01:20:04,224
Because I'm going to be at
home with nothing going on.
1933
01:20:04,300 --> 01:20:06,678
And I'm going to have one eye
on my three friends up there
1934
01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:10,606
and the other eye right on you.
1935
01:20:10,681 --> 01:20:12,775
I just want you to get
your act together, Doc.
1936
01:20:13,600 --> 01:20:15,068
(SOFTLY) Fucking...
1937
01:20:15,644 --> 01:20:18,272
One more thing.
Your wife's smoking hot.
1938
01:20:18,355 --> 01:20:21,074
You need to get rid of Debra
and focus on tapping that ass.
1939
01:20:23,861 --> 01:20:26,614
And there may be a scratch
or two on your minivan!
1940
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:42,967
(CAR HONKING)
1941
01:20:43,047 --> 01:20:44,469
Hey, stranger!
1942
01:20:45,049 --> 01:20:46,471
Need a ride?
1943
01:20:53,932 --> 01:20:55,900
Hey, Roxanne. What's up?
Hey.
1944
01:20:55,976 --> 01:20:57,193
How'd you find me?
1945
01:20:57,269 --> 01:21:01,274
Oh, this little gizmo kept beeping,
so I followed it to find you.
1946
01:21:01,357 --> 01:21:03,485
Which is a little creepy
now that I think about it.
1947
01:21:04,485 --> 01:21:06,362
That's okay.
Thank you for stalking me.
1948
01:21:06,695 --> 01:21:08,163
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
(MOBILE RINGING)
1949
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:09,702
Shit.
1950
01:21:10,783 --> 01:21:13,036
Oh. Let me guess.
Your girlfriend again?
1951
01:21:13,118 --> 01:21:14,461
No.
1952
01:21:14,536 --> 01:21:15,958
We broke up.
1953
01:21:16,038 --> 01:21:18,461
Oh. And you're just fine?
You seem fine.
1954
01:21:18,540 --> 01:21:20,463
Yeah, no, I'm great.
1955
01:21:20,542 --> 01:21:24,888
She's in hysterics, but she'll be
cool, eventually. She'll move on.
1956
01:21:25,381 --> 01:21:28,885
Listen, I'm a free bird.
I got to fly. (CAWS)
1957
01:21:28,967 --> 01:21:30,810
Right.
1958
01:21:30,886 --> 01:21:32,729
I don't know why I said that.
(LAUGHS)
1959
01:21:33,055 --> 01:21:34,307
(MOBILE RINGING)
1960
01:21:34,431 --> 01:21:35,933
Do you need to get that?
1961
01:21:36,016 --> 01:21:37,518
It's my dad, actually.
1962
01:21:38,310 --> 01:21:40,278
I think I'm gonna let this
one go to voice mail.
1963
01:21:40,354 --> 01:21:41,822
Great.
1964
01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:44,400
I have an idea.
Why don't we ditch the car?
1965
01:21:45,818 --> 01:21:46,990
It's a nice night for a walk.
1966
01:21:47,569 --> 01:21:49,663
Okay. Sure.
1967
01:21:50,697 --> 01:21:51,789
Cool.
1968
01:22:01,750 --> 01:22:03,252
Looks like you had
a rough night.
1969
01:22:03,335 --> 01:22:04,427
Yeah.
1970
01:22:04,503 --> 01:22:06,847
But like a wise man
once told me,
1971
01:22:06,922 --> 01:22:09,175
"Make love to the night,
motherfucker."
1972
01:22:09,258 --> 01:22:10,350
"Make love to the night."
1973
01:22:10,426 --> 01:22:11,427
(ROXANNE LAUGHING)
1974
01:22:11,510 --> 01:22:14,389
Have you ever met a girl
that you tried to date.
1975
01:22:14,471 --> 01:22:17,350
But a year, to make love,
she wanted you to wait.
1976
01:22:17,433 --> 01:22:19,811
Let me tell ya a story
of my situation.
1977
01:22:19,893 --> 01:22:23,067
I was talkin' to this girl
from the U. S. nation.
1978
01:22:23,147 --> 01:22:25,775
The way that I met her
was on tour at a concert.
1979
01:22:25,858 --> 01:22:28,486
She had really long hair
and a short miniskirt.
1980
01:22:28,569 --> 01:22:31,288
I just got onstage
drippin', pourin' with sweat.
1981
01:22:31,363 --> 01:22:34,162
I was walkin' through the
crowd and guess who I met.
1982
01:22:34,241 --> 01:22:36,869
I whispered in her ear,
come to the picture booth.
1983
01:22:36,952 --> 01:22:39,922
So I can ask you some questions to
see if you are a hundred proof.
1984
01:22:39,997 --> 01:22:42,546
I asked her her name,
she said blah-blah-blah.
1985
01:22:42,624 --> 01:22:45,628
She had 9/10 pants
and a very big bra.
1986
01:22:45,711 --> 01:22:48,305
I took a couple of flicks
and she was enthused.
1987
01:22:48,380 --> 01:22:49,506
I said,
how do you like the show?
1988
01:22:49,590 --> 01:22:51,388
She said, I was very amused.
1989
01:22:51,467 --> 01:22:54,141
I started throwin' bass, she
started throwin' back mid-range.
1990
01:22:54,219 --> 01:22:56,938
But when I sprung the question,
she acted kind of strange
1991
01:22:57,014 --> 01:23:00,143
'Cause when I asked, Do you have a man?
She tried to pretend.
1992
01:23:00,225 --> 01:23:04,025
She said, no, I don't
I only have a friend.
1993
01:23:04,104 --> 01:23:06,106
You must be buggin'.
1994
01:23:06,190 --> 01:23:07,908
This is what I'm gonna sing.
1995
01:23:08,567 --> 01:23:13,573
You, you got what I need.
1996
01:23:13,655 --> 01:23:16,579
But you say he's just a friend.
1997
01:23:16,658 --> 01:23:20,162
And you say he's just
a friend Oh, baby.
1998
01:23:20,245 --> 01:23:24,921
You got what I need.
1999
01:23:25,334 --> 01:23:28,087
But you say he's just a friend.
2000
01:23:28,170 --> 01:23:31,674
But you say he's just
a friend Oh, baby.
2001
01:23:31,757 --> 01:23:36,388
You got what I need.
2002
01:23:36,470 --> 01:23:42,398
But you say he's just a friend.
2003
01:23:42,476 --> 01:23:44,945
So please listen
to the message that I say.
2004
01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:48,024
Don't ever talk to a girl who
says she just has a friend.
2005
01:23:48,106 --> 01:23:50,655
Has a friend.
2006
01:23:56,657 --> 01:23:57,704
Yeah.
2007
01:23:57,783 --> 01:23:59,285
Premier and Slick Rick, kid.
2008
01:24:01,161 --> 01:24:02,629
Jonah Hill.
2009
01:24:02,704 --> 01:24:04,047
Yeah, kid, check it out.
2010
01:24:04,122 --> 01:24:06,090
Good gosh The world's so bad.
2011
01:24:06,166 --> 01:24:07,918
It's trying to drive me,
a sane man, mad.
2012
01:24:08,794 --> 01:24:11,217
Great gosh I need some bad
2013
01:24:11,296 --> 01:24:13,139
'Bout to drive me,
a sane man, mad.
2014
01:24:13,590 --> 01:24:16,013
Are you peeping this floozy
Or queens, excuse me.
2015
01:24:16,093 --> 01:24:18,721
Can't believe how many times I
had to eat the chick's sushi.
2016
01:24:18,804 --> 01:24:19,771
Who she?
2017
01:24:19,846 --> 01:24:21,348
Look at how a brother
gotta roll.
2018
01:24:21,431 --> 01:24:23,650
All cold, kid
Anyway truth being told.
2019
01:24:23,725 --> 01:24:26,228
Fit boy too big
Which one you pick.
2020
01:24:26,311 --> 01:24:29,064
Rico suave
or chick one, two kid.
2021
01:24:29,147 --> 01:24:31,241
Once I was born in this thick.
2022
01:24:31,316 --> 01:24:33,444
Why I gotta deal
with this horniness tip.
2023
01:24:33,527 --> 01:24:35,950
This, not enough flair
This, lack a lot wares.
2024
01:24:36,029 --> 01:24:38,703
Got her holding my tears
Trying to act like who cares.
2025
01:24:38,782 --> 01:24:41,080
Reaching, if I say
I see kids in the mix.
2026
01:24:41,159 --> 01:24:43,662
Wanna cuddle Go out something,
Trick with the chick.
2027
01:24:43,745 --> 01:24:44,962
You know what I'm saying, kid
2028
01:24:45,038 --> 01:24:48,713
'Cause it's so bad, trying to
drive me, a sane man, mad.
2029
01:24:49,876 --> 01:24:52,846
I need some bad 'Bout to
drive me, a sane man, mad.
2030
01:24:53,714 --> 01:24:55,762
Good gosh the world's so bad.
2031
01:24:55,841 --> 01:24:58,640
It's trying to drive me,
a sane man, mad.
2032
01:24:58,719 --> 01:25:00,938
Great gosh I need some bad
2033
01:25:01,013 --> 01:25:03,482
'Bout to drive me,
a sane man, mad.
2034
01:25:03,557 --> 01:25:06,106
I want you, munch too,
comes to hun, how long do.
2035
01:25:06,184 --> 01:25:08,778
Ma duke caught the kid
masturbating once too.
2036
01:25:08,854 --> 01:25:11,107
Passed, looked stunned,
kept on like.
2037
01:25:11,189 --> 01:25:13,533
Don't you have a steady
piece to smash yet, son?
2038
01:25:13,609 --> 01:25:15,953
What to do, Mom,
none touching dude's joint.
2039
01:25:16,028 --> 01:25:18,577
Like to see me out here
buying some prostitute's bum?
2040
01:25:18,655 --> 01:25:19,622
No?
2041
01:25:19,698 --> 01:25:21,996
Picking up scroin, cop pursuing.
2042
01:25:22,075 --> 01:25:23,793
From the stripper club
hair doing.
2043
01:25:23,869 --> 01:25:25,963
Then laughed and none
but wise after.
2044
01:25:26,038 --> 01:25:28,837
Soul mate, more than sex,
a live partner.
2045
01:25:28,915 --> 01:25:30,542
Snatch can't get, cat frantic.
2046
01:25:30,626 --> 01:25:33,755
So, in the meantime stripper
club, lap dance tip.
2047
01:25:33,837 --> 01:25:35,965
A professional
press box arouser.
2048
01:25:36,048 --> 01:25:38,972
Some condoms so I don't
mess up me trousers.
2049
01:25:39,051 --> 01:25:40,894
Then start paying, mark swaying.
2050
01:25:40,969 --> 01:25:43,768
Girlfriend just sit down
and start playing.
2051
01:25:43,847 --> 01:25:45,645
Here's an extra,
parading the wealth.
2052
01:25:45,724 --> 01:25:48,443
Don't want a real kid feel
like I'm degrading myself.
2053
01:25:48,518 --> 01:25:50,566
Bouncing on me funny,
bouncing with my money.
2054
01:25:50,646 --> 01:25:53,365
Or it's back to playing cat and
mouse games with the honey.
2055
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:54,487
You know what I mean, kid.
2056
01:25:54,566 --> 01:25:58,196
Caught a script so bad, trying
to drive me, a sane man, mad.
2057
01:25:58,278 --> 01:25:59,655
Say what, Slick Rick.
2058
01:25:59,738 --> 01:26:03,333
I need some bad 'Bout to
drive me, a sane man, mad.
2059
01:26:03,408 --> 01:26:07,379
Good gosh the world's so bad Trying
to drive me, a sane man, mad.
2060
01:26:07,454 --> 01:26:08,546
Jonah Hill, kid.
2061
01:26:08,622 --> 01:26:13,469
Good gosh, need some bad, About
to drive me, a sane man...
2062
01:26:17,005 --> 01:26:18,598
I need some bad.
2063
01:26:21,927 --> 01:26:23,179
I need some bad.
2064
01:26:24,554 --> 01:26:28,354
I need some bad I need some bad.
2065
01:26:31,937 --> 01:26:33,280
I need some bad
2066
01:26:52,165 --> 01:26:53,166
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