1 00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,651 The tank itself... 2 00:01:45,722 --> 00:01:47,849 ...was unusual in that it was vertical... 3 00:01:48,291 --> 00:01:50,384 ...and looked like an old boiler. 4 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,258 inside the tank the subject wore a heavy glass bubble... 5 00:01:53,329 --> 00:01:56,992 ...and you would have thought the whole contraption uncomfortable to say the least. 6 00:01:57,066 --> 00:01:58,533 it was, however, effective. 7 00:01:59,302 --> 00:02:02,965 of the 23 students tested, only two found the experience unpleasant. 8 00:02:03,573 --> 00:02:05,563 Some even called it exhilarating. 9 00:02:05,641 --> 00:02:07,836 A number of students hallucinated. 10 00:02:08,677 --> 00:02:12,340 Dr. Jessup found the encephalographic evidence especially interesting. 11 00:02:12,547 --> 00:02:15,675 And one Saturday afternoon, in April 1967... 12 00:02:15,751 --> 00:02:18,447 ...he decided to try the experience for himself. 13 00:03:46,773 --> 00:03:49,264 Arthur. Hey, Arthur. 14 00:03:50,276 --> 00:03:51,538 Are you there? 15 00:03:52,345 --> 00:03:53,778 Can you hear me, Arthur? 16 00:03:55,949 --> 00:03:57,382 Arthur, answer me. 17 00:03:58,685 --> 00:04:01,552 Is that it? You want me to come in and get you out? 18 00:04:05,325 --> 00:04:07,486 i want to get a look at those EEG tracings. 19 00:04:58,342 --> 00:04:59,604 How do you feel? 20 00:04:59,977 --> 00:05:01,239 Not bad. 21 00:05:01,612 --> 00:05:03,603 I hallucinated like a son of a bitch. 22 00:05:04,115 --> 00:05:06,777 A variety of dream states, mystical states... 23 00:05:07,418 --> 00:05:09,613 ...a lot of religious allegory, mostly out of Revelation. 24 00:05:09,687 --> 00:05:11,848 You were in there close to five hours. 25 00:05:12,090 --> 00:05:13,114 It felt like an hour. 26 00:05:13,191 --> 00:05:14,852 I'd like to try that myself sometime. 27 00:05:14,926 --> 00:05:16,450 You should. You'll like it. 28 00:05:20,198 --> 00:05:21,927 Did we have any communication? 29 00:05:22,266 --> 00:05:24,894 Sure. I kept checking you out like you told me to. 30 00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:26,967 How did I respond? 31 00:05:27,872 --> 00:05:30,363 Very orderly. At one point you were crying. 32 00:05:30,775 --> 00:05:32,002 You mean, actually crying? 33 00:05:32,075 --> 00:05:34,509 You were sobbing. There were tears on your face. 34 00:05:35,779 --> 00:05:37,906 When I asked you what was going on, you said you were... 35 00:05:37,981 --> 00:05:40,108 ...re-experiencing your father's death. 36 00:05:42,552 --> 00:05:43,712 Did you make notes? 37 00:05:44,121 --> 00:05:45,315 It's all there. 38 00:05:45,789 --> 00:05:50,192 I'd like to try this again next week. Do you think you could make it again next week? 39 00:05:50,594 --> 00:05:52,061 What are we looking for? 40 00:05:52,996 --> 00:05:55,521 I don't know, yet. 41 00:05:57,634 --> 00:06:00,467 There's really very little literature on this kind of research. 42 00:06:00,537 --> 00:06:03,529 There are some good people in the field: Tart, Ornstein and Deikman... 43 00:06:03,607 --> 00:06:06,838 ...but most of it is radical-hip stuff, drug-culture apologias. 44 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:10,777 Obviously, the first thing to do is set up some sensible methodology... 45 00:06:10,847 --> 00:06:13,872 ...study these experiences under controlled laboratory conditions. 46 00:06:13,949 --> 00:06:16,281 It won't interfere with the work we're doing with Hobart. 47 00:06:16,352 --> 00:06:19,753 What are we getting into? Sensory deprivation? Isolation studies? 48 00:06:19,822 --> 00:06:22,256 I mean, where will we be going with the tank stuff? 49 00:06:22,324 --> 00:06:25,122 We're not writing up a grant. Strictly bootlegging, just for kicks. 50 00:06:25,194 --> 00:06:27,253 We've got the use of this tank. Let's play with it. 51 00:06:27,329 --> 00:06:29,229 Let's find out where it takes us. 52 00:06:30,566 --> 00:06:33,194 It's fascinating stuff. I think we ought to get into it. 53 00:06:35,404 --> 00:06:38,999 I didn't even know they had one of those isolation tanks at New York Hospital. 54 00:06:39,074 --> 00:06:41,042 Must be some guy in the Psychology Department... 55 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:42,941 ...doing sensory deprivation studies. 56 00:06:44,013 --> 00:06:45,947 What's Jessup doing with it? 57 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:50,517 You've got me. He's been taking students out of his classes and testing them. 58 00:06:50,586 --> 00:06:52,816 He's been doing this for three, four months. 59 00:06:53,322 --> 00:06:54,346 Did you know... 60 00:06:55,423 --> 00:06:56,754 ...Jessup was into this kind of stuff? 61 00:06:56,824 --> 00:06:58,416 Not until you just told me. 62 00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:00,051 What do you want? 63 00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,187 How long are you going to let it ring? 64 00:07:03,264 --> 00:07:04,458 It's okay, I'll get it. 65 00:07:04,832 --> 00:07:06,424 He's the last guy in the world I figured... 66 00:07:06,501 --> 00:07:10,631 ...to be screwing around with anything as flaky as altered states of consciousness. 67 00:07:10,705 --> 00:07:13,868 Let's face it. Jessup is pretty flaky himself. 68 00:07:16,377 --> 00:07:17,503 That's him. 69 00:07:38,098 --> 00:07:41,192 Arthur says you're very shy. He wants me to draw you out. 70 00:07:41,902 --> 00:07:44,166 Draw me out? That doesn't sound like Arthur. 71 00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:48,074 Well, what he actually said was you were a high-handed, arrogant prick. 72 00:07:48,542 --> 00:07:50,203 A little nuts, but brilliant... 73 00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:53,809 ...and that if I ever got you talking, I would find you fascinating. 74 00:07:54,114 --> 00:07:55,809 That sounds more like Arthur. 75 00:07:55,882 --> 00:07:59,147 He says you're doing some work with him and Alan Hobart at Payne-Whitney. 76 00:07:59,219 --> 00:08:00,379 What sort of work? 77 00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:02,481 Toxic metabolite stuff. 78 00:08:02,556 --> 00:08:04,683 We're replicating Heath's and Friedhoff's strategies... 79 00:08:04,758 --> 00:08:07,420 ...trying to find maverick substances specific to schizophrenia. 80 00:08:07,494 --> 00:08:09,758 I think we're chasing our tails. What do you do? 81 00:08:09,830 --> 00:08:12,526 I'm a physical anthropologist. I'm sweating out my dissertation. 82 00:08:12,599 --> 00:08:13,429 Where? 83 00:08:13,734 --> 00:08:14,666 Columbia. 84 00:08:14,735 --> 00:08:16,635 Holloway, and that bunch. 85 00:08:17,169 --> 00:08:19,660 You're kind of young for a Ph.D., aren't you? 86 00:08:19,739 --> 00:08:20,728 I'm 24. 87 00:08:21,107 --> 00:08:22,199 That's still pretty good. 88 00:08:22,275 --> 00:08:26,507 I didn't get my Ph.D. until I was 25. I'm supposed to be a whiz kid. 89 00:08:27,613 --> 00:08:29,080 I'm a whiz kid, too. 90 00:08:34,086 --> 00:08:37,522 Anthropology seems to attract good-Iooking women. 91 00:08:39,492 --> 00:08:44,156 So you don't think schizophrenia can be reduced to a single etiological agent? 92 00:08:45,097 --> 00:08:46,997 I'm not even sure it's a disease. 93 00:08:47,366 --> 00:08:50,233 You think madness is simply another state of consciousness? 94 00:08:50,303 --> 00:08:52,703 There's a body of evidence to support that. 95 00:08:54,573 --> 00:08:57,007 You don't like to talk about your work, do you? 96 00:08:57,076 --> 00:08:58,202 As a rule, no. 97 00:09:03,748 --> 00:09:07,684 I'm interested in interior experiences, especially the religious experience. 98 00:09:07,752 --> 00:09:10,050 The only reason I'm working with schizophrenics now... 99 00:09:10,121 --> 00:09:13,716 ...is the religious experience is so significant in schizophrenia. 100 00:09:14,492 --> 00:09:16,050 There's only so much you can do with animals. 101 00:09:16,127 --> 00:09:17,185 I worked with monkeys... 102 00:09:17,262 --> 00:09:19,662 ...but they can't tell you what goes on in their consciousness. 103 00:09:19,731 --> 00:09:21,631 You need human beings for that. 104 00:09:21,933 --> 00:09:25,494 You can't ablate human beings, nor stick electrodes in their skulls... 105 00:09:25,570 --> 00:09:27,902 ...so I have to use a trance-inducing technique... 106 00:09:27,972 --> 00:09:30,805 ...and the isolation tank seemed the least risky. 107 00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:34,641 And I'd like to go home with you tonight. Would that be all right with you? 108 00:09:35,513 --> 00:09:38,710 I've got a roommate. We'll be confined to the living-room couch. 109 00:09:40,117 --> 00:09:42,210 What's wrong with the living-room couch? 110 00:09:42,453 --> 00:09:44,250 You tend to slip off a lot. 111 00:09:45,622 --> 00:09:47,021 I'm sure we'll manage. 112 00:09:47,658 --> 00:09:48,920 I'm sure we will. 113 00:09:52,730 --> 00:09:55,426 So, whenever you want to go there, you let me know. 114 00:09:57,434 --> 00:09:58,731 How about right now? 115 00:10:14,218 --> 00:10:16,015 What are you thinking about? 116 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:17,309 God... 117 00:10:19,623 --> 00:10:20,954 ...Jesus, crucifixions. 118 00:10:24,660 --> 00:10:29,688 As a rule, do you usually think about Christ and crucifixions under sexual stress? 119 00:10:36,906 --> 00:10:39,397 When I was nine years old, I used to see visions... 120 00:10:40,543 --> 00:10:43,603 ...visions of saints and angels, even Christ himself. 121 00:10:46,983 --> 00:10:48,917 Of course I don't do that anymore... 122 00:10:53,823 --> 00:10:55,381 ...not since I was 16. 123 00:10:56,592 --> 00:10:58,116 Were your parents religious? 124 00:10:59,095 --> 00:11:00,062 Anything but. 125 00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:04,829 My father was an aeronautical engineer. My mother, a clinical psychologist. 126 00:11:05,033 --> 00:11:06,159 What happened? 127 00:11:06,735 --> 00:11:10,762 I mean, how did a little kid who saw visions of Christ turn into a physiologist... 128 00:11:10,839 --> 00:11:13,103 ...teaching at the Cornell Medical College? 129 00:11:13,508 --> 00:11:14,839 I stopped believing. 130 00:11:15,110 --> 00:11:16,134 It was very dramatic. 131 00:11:16,211 --> 00:11:20,341 My father died a protracted and painful death of cancer. 132 00:11:22,651 --> 00:11:25,176 I was 16 years old and very fond of my father. 133 00:11:25,253 --> 00:11:28,017 I used to race to the hospital every day after school... 134 00:11:29,157 --> 00:11:31,284 ...and sit in his room doing my homework. 135 00:11:31,726 --> 00:11:33,694 He was very heavily sedated. 136 00:11:34,162 --> 00:11:35,959 The last few weeks he was in coma. 137 00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:42,367 One day I thought I heard him say something. 138 00:11:43,672 --> 00:11:45,366 I got up and leaned over him... 139 00:11:45,940 --> 00:11:48,067 ...my ear an inch away from his lips. 140 00:11:49,243 --> 00:11:51,074 "Did you say something, Pop?" 141 00:11:54,048 --> 00:11:57,779 Then I heard the word he was desperately trying to say, a soft hiss of a word. 142 00:11:57,852 --> 00:11:59,183 He was saying... 143 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:03,848 "...terrible..." 144 00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:13,524 "...terrible." 145 00:12:16,971 --> 00:12:20,031 So the end was terrible, even for the good people like my father. 146 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:23,099 So the purpose of all our suffering was just more suffering. 147 00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:30,676 By dinner time, I had dispensed with God altogether. I never saw another vision. 148 00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:37,588 I haven't told anybody about this in 10 years. 149 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,387 I'm telling you now because I want you to know... 150 00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:46,758 ...what sort of a nut you might be getting mixed up with. 151 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,763 Arthur was right. 152 00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:53,336 You are a fascinating bastard. 153 00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:26,380 Well, it's settled. 154 00:15:26,455 --> 00:15:30,221 Metcalfe spoke to Spencer again this morning and it's definite. The job's mine. 155 00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:32,954 I'll be in Nairobi doing my post-doc work July and August... 156 00:15:33,028 --> 00:15:35,223 ...and in September, I'll be teaching at Harvard. 157 00:15:35,297 --> 00:15:36,355 Terrific. 158 00:15:37,866 --> 00:15:40,528 It looks like we'll both be teaching at Harvard in September. 159 00:15:40,602 --> 00:15:42,069 Looks that way. 160 00:15:44,206 --> 00:15:46,834 You can't get any tidier than that, can you? 161 00:15:49,845 --> 00:15:53,575 We're going to be together in Boston and I think we should get married. 162 00:15:55,917 --> 00:15:58,750 You know, of course, I'm supposed to be at least a little bit nuts. 163 00:15:58,820 --> 00:15:59,980 A little bit? 164 00:16:00,054 --> 00:16:01,919 You're an unmitigated madman! 165 00:16:03,991 --> 00:16:08,087 You don't have to tell me how weird you are. I know how weird you are! 166 00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:10,358 I'm the girl in your bed the past two months. 167 00:16:10,431 --> 00:16:13,195 Even sex is a mystical experience for you. 168 00:16:13,935 --> 00:16:16,495 You carry on like a flagellant, which can be very nice... 169 00:16:16,571 --> 00:16:19,131 ...but I sometimes wonder if it's me that's being made love to. 170 00:16:19,207 --> 00:16:23,075 I feel like I'm being harpooned by some raging monk in the act of receiving God. 171 00:16:27,081 --> 00:16:32,747 And you are a Faust freak, Eddie. You'd sell your soul to find the great Truth. 172 00:16:33,420 --> 00:16:36,412 Well, human life doesn't have great truths. 173 00:16:36,923 --> 00:16:40,586 We're born in doubt. We spend our lives persuading ourselves we're alive. 174 00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:43,788 And one way we do that is we love each other, like I love you. 175 00:16:44,164 --> 00:16:46,257 I can't imagine living without you. 176 00:16:47,334 --> 00:16:48,858 So let's get married. 177 00:16:49,069 --> 00:16:51,435 If it turns out to be a disaster, it'll be a disaster. 178 00:16:51,505 --> 00:16:53,405 We'll shake hands and say goodbye. 179 00:17:01,014 --> 00:17:02,641 He's giving her dimethyltryptamine. 180 00:17:02,716 --> 00:17:06,675 It takes effect in about a minute and she'll trip out for about half an hour. 181 00:17:12,959 --> 00:17:14,619 Do you feel different now? 182 00:17:16,562 --> 00:17:17,688 Less anxious? 183 00:17:18,831 --> 00:17:19,763 Much less. 184 00:17:20,099 --> 00:17:21,999 Do you have any special feelings? 185 00:17:22,268 --> 00:17:23,360 I feel... 186 00:17:24,270 --> 00:17:26,966 ...like my heart is being touched by Christ. 187 00:17:42,955 --> 00:17:46,152 There's a lot of religious delusion among acute schizophrenics. 188 00:17:46,525 --> 00:17:49,619 Some guys say schizophrenics are physically different from the rest of us. 189 00:17:49,695 --> 00:17:53,256 It's almost as if they were trying to change their physical selves to... 190 00:17:53,399 --> 00:17:55,992 ...adapt to their schizophrenic image of themselves. 191 00:18:04,242 --> 00:18:07,302 All right, we'll get married, since it's that important to you. 192 00:18:08,246 --> 00:18:09,873 I'm not comfortable with women... 193 00:18:09,948 --> 00:18:13,816 ...and I'm not likely to find anyone half as remarkable as you again. 194 00:18:14,853 --> 00:18:17,185 I think I can make a reasonably good husband. 195 00:18:19,757 --> 00:18:21,554 I don't want to lose you, you see. 196 00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:28,228 I suppose that's the closest thing to a declaration of love I'll ever get out of you. 197 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,041 Am I really that weird in bed? 198 00:18:42,646 --> 00:18:43,476 Sometimes. 199 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,349 Shall I try to change? 200 00:18:47,985 --> 00:18:49,316 No, I kind of like it. 201 00:19:13,577 --> 00:19:16,137 -Daddy, I'm tired. -We'll give the little lady a ride! 202 00:19:16,213 --> 00:19:17,578 Hey, Mason, be careful. 203 00:19:19,181 --> 00:19:20,273 How you doin', Eddie? 204 00:19:20,349 --> 00:19:21,976 Hi, Mason. How about a beer? 205 00:19:27,857 --> 00:19:31,657 -lf I didn't see this, I wouldn't believe it! -You were supposed to come next week! 206 00:19:43,940 --> 00:19:47,376 Look at the family man! Oh, Eddie, you look so good! 207 00:19:47,443 --> 00:19:48,432 I don't believe it. 208 00:19:48,511 --> 00:19:50,672 Not again? When did this happen? 209 00:19:50,746 --> 00:19:52,270 Well, it's a long story. 210 00:19:52,949 --> 00:19:54,416 Have you found a place yet? 211 00:19:54,617 --> 00:19:57,177 We got a nice little place near Huntington Field. 212 00:19:57,887 --> 00:19:59,582 We moved to San Francisco seven years ago. 213 00:19:59,655 --> 00:20:01,485 Arthur is going to teach at Boston U. 214 00:20:01,656 --> 00:20:03,055 I can't believe it's been seven years. 215 00:20:03,124 --> 00:20:05,251 I hear you just got associate professor. 216 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,084 You guys must be loaded! 217 00:20:07,629 --> 00:20:10,063 We've got a place in Maine you can use for the summer. 218 00:20:10,131 --> 00:20:12,622 I'm going to Africa again in June. Eddie will be in Mexico. 219 00:20:12,701 --> 00:20:15,329 Do you know a guy named Eccheverria, University of Mexico? 220 00:20:15,403 --> 00:20:16,631 Says he worked with you. 221 00:20:16,705 --> 00:20:18,104 Sure. A very bright young guy. 222 00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:20,937 He's here at the Botanical Museum. We'll all have to get together. 223 00:20:21,009 --> 00:20:23,409 I'm going back to Mexico with him in June. 224 00:20:23,478 --> 00:20:24,467 What's in Mexico? 225 00:20:24,546 --> 00:20:27,845 Eccheverria's got this witch doctor down there, the Hinchi Indians. 226 00:20:28,149 --> 00:20:30,743 They're an isolated tribe in Central Mexico who still practice... 227 00:20:30,819 --> 00:20:34,482 ...the ancient Toltec rituals, sacred mushroom ceremonies, that kind of thing. 228 00:20:34,823 --> 00:20:37,257 Apparently they use some kind of hallucinatory drug... 229 00:20:37,325 --> 00:20:40,522 ...that is supposed to evoke a common experience in all users. 230 00:20:41,562 --> 00:20:44,690 Maggie has fallen asleep on the couch. Will you take care of her? 231 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,434 Did you ever get into an isolation tank since New York? 232 00:20:48,502 --> 00:20:49,833 No. Did you? 233 00:20:49,903 --> 00:20:52,701 No, but I just found out there's one here at the Medical School. 234 00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:55,640 I didn't think anybody was doing those kind of studies anymore. 235 00:20:55,709 --> 00:20:57,700 We did some interesting stuff in that tank... 236 00:20:57,778 --> 00:21:00,303 ...in New York for the few months we played around with it. 237 00:21:00,381 --> 00:21:03,350 Maybe when I get back from Mexico we'll get into it again. 238 00:21:03,417 --> 00:21:04,611 Why not? 239 00:21:13,427 --> 00:21:15,224 A terrific housekeeper she's not. 240 00:21:17,464 --> 00:21:19,364 They're getting a divorce, you know. 241 00:21:19,867 --> 00:21:22,767 -I don't know if they're getting-- -What are you talking about? 242 00:21:22,835 --> 00:21:24,996 She and the kids are moving to Cambridge. 243 00:21:25,071 --> 00:21:26,470 That's why this place is such a mess. 244 00:21:26,539 --> 00:21:28,973 They're moving her stuff into storage tomorrow. 245 00:21:32,612 --> 00:21:35,080 Then she's going off to Africa for a year with the kids. 246 00:21:35,148 --> 00:21:36,911 And he's going to Mexico. 247 00:21:37,083 --> 00:21:40,541 When she comes back, she's going to live in Cambridge and he's staying here. 248 00:21:40,620 --> 00:21:42,281 It's he who wants the divorce, not her. 249 00:21:42,355 --> 00:21:44,721 I'm surprised they stayed together this long. 250 00:21:44,957 --> 00:21:46,390 When did all this happen? 251 00:21:46,459 --> 00:21:48,393 She just told me five minutes ago. 252 00:21:48,728 --> 00:21:52,095 What about the letters she kept writing us about how happy they were? 253 00:21:52,165 --> 00:21:55,396 Don't ask me. She's still crazy about him. He's still crazy. 254 00:22:07,045 --> 00:22:09,570 Sylvia just told me you're getting a divorce. 255 00:22:10,982 --> 00:22:12,210 We're getting separated. 256 00:22:12,284 --> 00:22:15,310 We probably won't get around to the divorce until next year. 257 00:22:15,821 --> 00:22:18,483 I know it's none of my business, but why? 258 00:22:19,524 --> 00:22:22,015 You're married to a great woman who adores you. 259 00:22:22,094 --> 00:22:24,358 My God, if anybody has it made, you have. 260 00:22:25,330 --> 00:22:27,423 You're a respected and admired figure... 261 00:22:27,499 --> 00:22:30,696 ...a full professor on the faculty of the Harvard Medical School. 262 00:22:30,902 --> 00:22:35,362 For God's sake, is that how you imagine me? A respected and admired figure? 263 00:22:36,408 --> 00:22:38,035 A devoted father? A loving husband? 264 00:22:38,110 --> 00:22:41,876 Well, I've also published nearly two papers a year for the last seven years... 265 00:22:41,947 --> 00:22:44,541 ...and not a fundamental piece of work in the lot. 266 00:22:44,716 --> 00:22:48,617 I sit around the living rooms of other young married faculty members... 267 00:22:48,686 --> 00:22:52,315 ...talking infantile masturbation, who's sucking up to the head of the department... 268 00:22:52,389 --> 00:22:54,721 ...whose tenure is hanging by a thread. 269 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,587 Emily is content to go on with this life. 270 00:22:57,728 --> 00:23:00,288 She insists she's in love with me, whatever that is. 271 00:23:00,631 --> 00:23:03,293 What she means is she prefers the senseless pain... 272 00:23:03,367 --> 00:23:04,925 ...we inflict on each other to the pain... 273 00:23:05,002 --> 00:23:07,368 ...we would otherwise inflict on ourselves... 274 00:23:08,205 --> 00:23:10,537 ...but I'm not afraid of that solitary pain. 275 00:23:12,176 --> 00:23:16,237 If I don't strip myself of all this clatter and clutter and ridiculous ritual... 276 00:23:16,647 --> 00:23:18,808 ...I shall go out of my fucking mind! 277 00:23:20,484 --> 00:23:22,111 Does that answer your question, Arthur? 278 00:23:22,186 --> 00:23:23,585 What question was that? 279 00:23:23,721 --> 00:23:25,586 You asked me why I was getting divorced. 280 00:23:25,656 --> 00:23:27,384 Listen, it's your life. 281 00:23:27,891 --> 00:23:29,222 I'm sorry I even asked. 282 00:23:31,661 --> 00:23:35,222 Why don't I call Eccheverria and we'll all go out and have some dinner? 283 00:23:37,700 --> 00:23:40,726 As a matter of fact, Eduardo, my year in India was disappointing. 284 00:23:40,803 --> 00:23:42,270 No matter how you slice it... 285 00:23:42,338 --> 00:23:44,932 ...yoga's a state-specific technology operating in the service of... 286 00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:46,407 ...an a piori belief system.... 287 00:23:46,476 --> 00:23:50,469 We scientists have a moral obligation to the public as well as to our own research. 288 00:23:50,813 --> 00:23:52,075 It just never occurred to baboons... 289 00:23:52,148 --> 00:23:55,914 ...that they could shorten that time to five minutes if they used a stick. 290 00:23:56,753 --> 00:24:01,247 Originally, man was just another savanna-living primate like the baboon. 291 00:24:01,357 --> 00:24:06,260 What dignifies the yogic practices is the belief system itself is not truly religious. 292 00:24:08,163 --> 00:24:10,028 There is no Buddhist god, per se. 293 00:24:10,098 --> 00:24:14,865 It is the Self, the individual Mind, that contains immortality and ultimate Truth. 294 00:24:15,170 --> 00:24:16,865 What is not religious about that? 295 00:24:16,939 --> 00:24:19,169 You've simply replaced God with the original Self. 296 00:24:19,241 --> 00:24:20,435 Yes, but we've localized it. 297 00:24:20,509 --> 00:24:22,568 Now I know where the Self is. It's in our own minds. 298 00:24:22,644 --> 00:24:25,977 It's a form of human energy. Our atoms are six billion years old. 299 00:24:26,048 --> 00:24:29,540 We've got six billion years of memory in our minds. 300 00:24:30,018 --> 00:24:32,680 Memory is energy! It doesn't disappear! It's still in there! 301 00:24:32,754 --> 00:24:35,621 There's a physiological pathway to our earlier consciousnesses. 302 00:24:35,691 --> 00:24:38,717 There has to be. It's in the goddamned limbic system. 303 00:24:38,794 --> 00:24:40,455 Jessup, you're a whacko! 304 00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:43,664 What's whacko about it? I'm a man in search of his true Self. 305 00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:46,064 How archetypically American can you get? 306 00:24:46,768 --> 00:24:48,827 Everybody's looking for their true selves. 307 00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:51,394 We're all trying to fulfill ourselves... 308 00:24:51,906 --> 00:24:54,374 ...understand ourselves, get in touch with ourselves... 309 00:24:54,442 --> 00:24:58,742 ...face the reality of ourselves, explore ourselves, expand ourselves. 310 00:24:59,013 --> 00:25:00,537 Ever since we dispensed with God... 311 00:25:00,615 --> 00:25:04,745 ...we've got nothing but ourselves to explain this meaningless horror of life. 312 00:25:04,919 --> 00:25:06,045 You're whacko. 313 00:25:08,289 --> 00:25:10,484 Well, I think that the true Self... 314 00:25:11,192 --> 00:25:15,788 ...that original Self, that first Self, is a real, mensurate, quantifiable thing... 315 00:25:16,130 --> 00:25:18,894 ...tangible and incarnate... 316 00:25:20,134 --> 00:25:22,102 ...and I'm going to find the fucker. 317 00:25:46,459 --> 00:25:48,359 What are their chemical properties? 318 00:25:50,196 --> 00:25:51,185 Are they safe? 319 00:25:51,264 --> 00:25:54,825 The mushrooms are almost certainly amanita muscaria... 320 00:25:55,235 --> 00:25:58,762 ...a very powerful psychedelic and a little dangerous. 321 00:25:59,439 --> 00:26:02,636 It contains belladonna, alkaloids... 322 00:26:03,009 --> 00:26:05,068 ...atropine, scopolamine. 323 00:26:05,812 --> 00:26:08,645 The sinicuiche plant is highly regarded... 324 00:26:09,683 --> 00:26:11,548 ...among a number of Indian tribes. 325 00:26:11,618 --> 00:26:13,642 I've seen it as far north as Chihuahua. 326 00:26:13,786 --> 00:26:16,653 The Indians say it evokes old memories... 327 00:26:17,589 --> 00:26:19,216 ...event ancient ones... 328 00:26:20,159 --> 00:26:23,322 ...and the Hinchis call it The First Flower. 329 00:26:25,230 --> 00:26:27,289 The first in the sense of primordial? 330 00:26:27,433 --> 00:26:28,559 Yes. 331 00:26:28,901 --> 00:26:30,869 In the sense of the most ancient. 332 00:26:31,870 --> 00:26:33,201 I'd like to try it. 333 00:26:35,107 --> 00:26:37,769 Do you think they would let me join in their ritual? 334 00:26:38,977 --> 00:26:41,241 Well, they seem like agreeable people. 335 00:26:54,726 --> 00:26:58,287 Est todo bien para ti participar en la ceremonia. 336 00:26:59,764 --> 00:27:03,029 He says it's all right for you to participate in their ceremony. 337 00:27:03,334 --> 00:27:05,859 Ask him what kind of an experience I can expect. 338 00:27:06,738 --> 00:27:08,603 Are they gathering these mushrooms for the ritual? 339 00:27:08,673 --> 00:27:10,868 No, they're being harvested for next year. 340 00:27:16,447 --> 00:27:18,972 Qu� clase de experiencia puede esperar mi amigo? 341 00:27:19,717 --> 00:27:22,277 Su alma regresar a su primera alma. 342 00:27:22,954 --> 00:27:25,218 Your soul will return to the First Soul. 343 00:27:26,624 --> 00:27:28,615 Ask him what this First Soul will look like. 344 00:27:28,693 --> 00:27:30,490 ?C�mo es la primera alma? 345 00:27:31,262 --> 00:27:33,230 Es la ateria increada. 346 00:27:34,831 --> 00:27:36,264 It is Unborn Stuff. 347 00:27:39,269 --> 00:27:41,794 Entonces, usted se lanzar� en el vacio.... 348 00:27:42,706 --> 00:27:45,197 Then you will propel into the void. 349 00:27:45,976 --> 00:27:47,409 Usted ver� una mancha. 350 00:27:47,878 --> 00:27:49,368 You will see a spot. 351 00:27:50,313 --> 00:27:52,611 La mancha se convertir�en una grieta. 352 00:27:53,483 --> 00:27:55,280 The spot will become a crack. 353 00:27:56,186 --> 00:27:58,279 Esta es la Grieta Entre la Nada... 354 00:27:58,355 --> 00:28:00,789 This is the Crack Between the Nothing... 355 00:28:01,925 --> 00:28:04,325 De esta Nada saldr su Alma increada. 356 00:28:04,594 --> 00:28:07,688 ...and out of this Nothing will come your Unborn Soul. 357 00:29:21,736 --> 00:29:24,261 Digale que extienda la palma de la mano. 358 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,801 He wants you to hold the root. Put out your hand with your palm up. 359 00:30:39,245 --> 00:30:40,542 Are you all right? 360 00:36:58,114 --> 00:37:00,378 We only have their word I killed a lizard. 361 00:37:00,817 --> 00:37:03,411 You didn't see it and I have no recollection of it! 362 00:37:03,787 --> 00:37:05,778 This whole hideous business is just a joke... 363 00:37:05,855 --> 00:37:08,915 ...the Indians have played on me to make the gringo look like a fool! 364 00:37:08,992 --> 00:37:11,927 Look, you asked me what happened and I told you! 365 00:37:12,595 --> 00:37:14,858 You drank the mixture and you went outside. 366 00:37:15,230 --> 00:37:17,892 After a while there was a scream and some dogs were barking. 367 00:37:17,967 --> 00:37:19,457 I shouted after you. 368 00:37:19,668 --> 00:37:22,262 The screaming stopped. The brujo yelled at me to come back. 369 00:37:22,338 --> 00:37:23,362 Oh, bullshit! 370 00:37:24,373 --> 00:37:27,968 Then why did you ask the brujo to give you the mixture to take back to Boston? 371 00:37:28,043 --> 00:37:31,069 I thought I'd like Arthur to analyze, maybe synthesize, it. 372 00:37:34,183 --> 00:37:35,707 The noise is stupefying. 373 00:37:57,972 --> 00:38:00,031 The sun became black... 374 00:38:01,009 --> 00:38:02,169 ...as sack cloth. 375 00:38:07,281 --> 00:38:10,409 The full moon became like blood. 376 00:38:12,854 --> 00:38:15,414 Then a great mountain burning with fire... 377 00:38:19,227 --> 00:38:21,024 ...was thrown into the sea. 378 00:38:27,568 --> 00:38:31,299 Then the beast ascends from the bottomless pit. 379 00:38:31,973 --> 00:38:35,704 The angel of the bottomless pit. His name is... 380 00:38:43,116 --> 00:38:44,208 ...Abaddon. 381 00:38:45,619 --> 00:38:46,711 He's off the wall! 382 00:38:46,887 --> 00:38:47,876 Are you okay? 383 00:38:47,954 --> 00:38:49,979 Get this stuff! It's new! 384 00:38:50,624 --> 00:38:52,990 It's deafening! The noise is deafening! 385 00:38:54,261 --> 00:38:56,092 Can you hear me above this noise? 386 00:38:58,365 --> 00:38:59,730 The most unbelievable thing I've seen! 387 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,665 I'm watching the birth agony of a mountain! 388 00:39:04,304 --> 00:39:05,430 Oh, my God. 389 00:39:05,539 --> 00:39:06,870 Are you okay? 390 00:39:08,375 --> 00:39:11,572 I'm fine. Really, I'm fine. 391 00:39:11,812 --> 00:39:13,746 Do you want me to bring you down now? 392 00:39:17,284 --> 00:39:18,272 What happens now? 393 00:39:18,350 --> 00:39:21,581 He's blacked out. These blackouts can get pretty freaky. 394 00:39:21,654 --> 00:39:23,588 Sometimes they last as long as four hours. 395 00:39:23,656 --> 00:39:27,217 When he comes out of it, he's as chipper as a bird, but he doesn't remember a thing. 396 00:39:27,293 --> 00:39:30,285 Just how dangerous is this stuff he brought back from Mexico? 397 00:39:30,362 --> 00:39:32,353 I didn't say dangerous, just said it was weird. 398 00:39:32,431 --> 00:39:33,523 It hangs around too long... 399 00:39:33,599 --> 00:39:36,727 ...and what's really screwy is it heads straight for the brain. 400 00:39:37,336 --> 00:39:38,894 Well, I don't believe this. 401 00:39:39,772 --> 00:39:43,105 You guys are shooting up with an untested drug that stacks up in the brain... 402 00:39:43,175 --> 00:39:46,269 ...and works in the nucleus of the cell and you don't call that dangerous? 403 00:39:46,345 --> 00:39:49,337 For the record, we don't actually shoot up. 404 00:39:49,782 --> 00:39:52,046 -Eddie drinks a 10-milligram.... -It will stop now! 405 00:39:52,118 --> 00:39:54,279 You guys are supposed to be reputable scientists... 406 00:39:54,353 --> 00:39:57,550 ...not two kids in the dorm freaking out on Mexican mushrooms! 407 00:39:59,023 --> 00:40:01,924 Why do you think I called you for? Let's see you stop him. 408 00:40:09,067 --> 00:40:10,625 This ain't LSD, goddamnit! 409 00:40:10,735 --> 00:40:13,295 This is no serotonin antagonist you're drinking! 410 00:40:13,705 --> 00:40:16,469 How many grams of that stuff you think you've got in you? 411 00:40:16,541 --> 00:40:18,065 Two? Three? 412 00:40:18,810 --> 00:40:21,335 You could be working up one hell of a case of cancer... 413 00:40:21,412 --> 00:40:23,175 ...with all the antimetabolites in you. 414 00:40:23,248 --> 00:40:26,843 The Hinchis have been drinking that stuff for centuries with no incidence of cancer. 415 00:40:26,918 --> 00:40:28,249 Fuck the Hinchi Indians! 416 00:40:28,319 --> 00:40:30,184 You don't know anything about those mushrooms! 417 00:40:30,255 --> 00:40:32,018 They seem to have fantastic staying powers! 418 00:40:32,090 --> 00:40:33,990 We've shot up at least 30 rats with that stuff. 419 00:40:34,058 --> 00:40:35,992 Some of them have a whopping load in them... 420 00:40:36,060 --> 00:40:38,528 ...and none of them have been noticeably affected. 421 00:40:38,663 --> 00:40:41,187 Where are we going? We were going to get something to eat. 422 00:40:41,265 --> 00:40:42,698 Eddie wants to show me an isolation tank. 423 00:40:42,766 --> 00:40:46,497 Isolation tank! You guys get flakier every time I talk to you! 424 00:40:46,670 --> 00:40:49,468 I thought all that isolation tank stuff went out in the '60s... 425 00:40:49,540 --> 00:40:51,667 ...with Timothy Leary and all them other gurus! 426 00:40:51,742 --> 00:40:54,768 Will you shut up for a minute and let somebody else say something? 427 00:40:54,845 --> 00:40:56,642 What happens during these blackout periods is... 428 00:40:56,713 --> 00:40:58,772 ...you get the feeling of phenomenal acceleration... 429 00:40:58,849 --> 00:41:01,977 ...like you're being shot out over millions, billions of years. 430 00:41:02,052 --> 00:41:03,644 Time simply obliterates. 431 00:41:04,054 --> 00:41:06,887 You sense the hallucination is going on, but you get no images. 432 00:41:06,957 --> 00:41:08,754 I want to break through that blackout barrier. 433 00:41:08,825 --> 00:41:12,659 I want to know what those images are that I know are going on but I can't see. 434 00:41:12,729 --> 00:41:16,165 We can't raise the dosage of the drug because we're close to toxic levels now. 435 00:41:16,233 --> 00:41:18,565 The only way to intensify the experience is... 436 00:41:18,635 --> 00:41:20,569 ...to take the 200 milligrams along with the tank. 437 00:41:20,637 --> 00:41:23,366 There's more I'd like to do to that drug before you take it again. 438 00:41:23,439 --> 00:41:24,906 I'd like to do a half-life determination. 439 00:41:24,974 --> 00:41:26,737 -That would take us a year! -I'd like to know the transport system. 440 00:41:26,809 --> 00:41:28,401 I'd like to find some analogues. 441 00:41:28,477 --> 00:41:31,105 This Mexican stuff is an extraordinary substance... 442 00:41:31,180 --> 00:41:34,377 ...and every instinct I have tells me I'm onto something hot here... 443 00:41:34,450 --> 00:41:37,442 ...and another 200 milligrams isn't going to kill anybody. 444 00:41:39,722 --> 00:41:40,848 There it is. 445 00:41:44,827 --> 00:41:46,021 Oh, it's horizontal. 446 00:41:48,097 --> 00:41:50,327 It's smaller than the one we had in New York. 447 00:41:51,701 --> 00:41:53,498 If they're doing sleep studies, it must be.... 448 00:41:53,569 --> 00:41:57,164 I don't think anybody's used it in years, but I checked it out yesterday and it works. 449 00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:58,673 It won't take a week to get this place cleaned. 450 00:41:58,741 --> 00:41:59,708 You could get your ass in a sling... 451 00:41:59,775 --> 00:42:02,505 ...if it ever gets out you're using an untested drug on human subjects. 452 00:42:02,578 --> 00:42:04,670 Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen to me. 453 00:42:04,846 --> 00:42:05,904 Let's get a quick hamburger. 454 00:42:05,981 --> 00:42:07,380 I'm seeing one of my students tonight. 455 00:42:07,449 --> 00:42:08,381 All right! 456 00:42:09,684 --> 00:42:13,120 Do what you want to do. I think you're both irresponsible as hell! 457 00:42:13,488 --> 00:42:17,356 Don't call me and tell me you're worried about Eddie putting all this shit into him! 458 00:42:17,425 --> 00:42:20,485 I'm telling you, don't you put any more of that shit into him... 459 00:42:20,562 --> 00:42:22,655 ...until you know a hell of a lot more about it! 460 00:42:22,731 --> 00:42:25,757 I've offered you the use of my lab and all the rats you can cut! 461 00:42:25,834 --> 00:42:28,667 That's as much as I want to be implicated in your dumb experiments! 462 00:42:28,737 --> 00:42:29,863 Go get your own dumb hamburger. 463 00:42:29,938 --> 00:42:32,702 I've already got my own date I'm an hour late for! 464 00:42:44,818 --> 00:42:47,810 I already did these first three. You do the rest. 465 00:42:58,565 --> 00:43:00,192 Couldn't resist, right? 466 00:43:00,301 --> 00:43:03,270 Well, somebody's got to keep his eye on you two sorcerers. 467 00:43:04,405 --> 00:43:06,498 What have you got in there, some kind of salt solution? 468 00:43:06,573 --> 00:43:09,940 Ten percent magnesium sulfate, for buoyancy. 469 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:14,006 Weird, man. 470 00:43:22,222 --> 00:43:23,655 One, two, three, four. 471 00:43:23,991 --> 00:43:25,151 one, two, three, four. 472 00:43:25,225 --> 00:43:26,384 Okay, you're fine. 473 00:43:27,493 --> 00:43:30,985 Wednesday, January 7th, 4:28 P. M. 474 00:43:32,532 --> 00:43:33,999 Hey, this is terrific! 475 00:43:36,736 --> 00:43:39,364 He went into theta like a shot. No spindling, nothing. 476 00:43:40,306 --> 00:43:42,001 Grasslands, savannas. 477 00:43:44,210 --> 00:43:45,643 i feel... 478 00:43:46,012 --> 00:43:48,810 ...i am actually alive and inside this landscape. 479 00:43:50,950 --> 00:43:53,009 A density of woodlands about a mile away. 480 00:43:53,086 --> 00:43:56,078 Beyond that, mountains that seem to be smoking. 481 00:43:56,189 --> 00:43:59,590 Newly born mountains, Cenozoic, latter Tertiary. 482 00:44:01,661 --> 00:44:03,288 i'm in an edge-area. 483 00:44:03,629 --> 00:44:05,995 Utter tranquility, but alive. 484 00:44:06,065 --> 00:44:08,589 Life in the trees. Life in the sedge. 485 00:44:09,534 --> 00:44:10,592 oh, my God... 486 00:44:10,936 --> 00:44:14,235 ...the birth of man. That's got to be it! 487 00:44:14,806 --> 00:44:17,172 y God! There it is... 488 00:44:18,877 --> 00:44:19,844 ...a proto-human. 489 00:44:19,911 --> 00:44:23,244 The first, and the original truly human form... 490 00:44:24,683 --> 00:44:27,811 ...tiny, perhaps 4 feet high, completely furred... 491 00:44:28,420 --> 00:44:30,285 ...chimp-like, but erect. 492 00:44:30,355 --> 00:44:31,947 No knuckle walking. Shorter arms. 493 00:44:32,023 --> 00:44:34,287 He's moving along so gracefully. 494 00:44:34,659 --> 00:44:36,593 There's two, three of them. 495 00:44:38,296 --> 00:44:42,027 Bipedal, tiny, little furred humanoid creatures... 496 00:44:42,100 --> 00:44:44,432 ...a chunk of lava in their hands... 497 00:44:46,104 --> 00:44:47,969 ...stalking or hunting something. 498 00:44:49,940 --> 00:44:51,532 For Christ's sake. 499 00:44:53,210 --> 00:44:54,370 Are you okay, Eddie? 500 00:44:54,445 --> 00:44:57,642 i'm becoming one of them. i'm no longer observing. 501 00:44:59,350 --> 00:45:00,510 i'm one of them. 502 00:45:04,989 --> 00:45:07,890 Killing something, a goat. 503 00:45:08,159 --> 00:45:09,524 i'm killing... 504 00:45:10,127 --> 00:45:11,287 ...i'm eating... 505 00:45:11,662 --> 00:45:15,063 ...i'm eating the blood, hot flesh of a goat. 506 00:45:21,639 --> 00:45:22,765 Are you okay? 507 00:45:23,974 --> 00:45:24,906 Beautiful. 508 00:45:26,477 --> 00:45:28,035 Do you want to come down? 509 00:45:42,525 --> 00:45:44,925 It sounded like he was having a bad trip to me. 510 00:45:45,028 --> 00:45:47,588 Some of these tank trips can get pretty creepy. 511 00:45:50,433 --> 00:45:51,923 What the hell was that? 512 00:45:56,039 --> 00:45:57,028 Are you okay? 513 00:45:58,007 --> 00:45:58,974 Beautiful. 514 00:45:59,576 --> 00:46:01,066 Do you want to stop this? 515 00:46:01,611 --> 00:46:04,512 -Do you want me to leave you alone? -Yeah. 516 00:46:21,597 --> 00:46:24,327 I thought you said these things don't last more than four hours. 517 00:46:24,399 --> 00:46:25,798 It's a quarter to nine. 518 00:46:26,034 --> 00:46:27,160 He's coming out. 519 00:46:29,505 --> 00:46:33,271 I don't like being out of contact for these long periods of time. 520 00:46:44,052 --> 00:46:45,041 I think he's in shock. 521 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,816 He must have had a seizure, hit his head or something. 522 00:47:50,383 --> 00:47:52,180 What do you want blood tests for? 523 00:47:53,453 --> 00:47:54,511 What does he say? 524 00:47:54,588 --> 00:47:56,715 "Buccal smear, blood for a karyotype... 525 00:47:56,790 --> 00:47:58,951 "...also pictures for the Goodman and Sarich lab. 526 00:47:59,025 --> 00:48:01,585 "Picture of my neck. Now, before I... 527 00:48:02,262 --> 00:48:03,286 "...reconstitute." 528 00:48:03,363 --> 00:48:04,489 Before he what? 529 00:48:05,465 --> 00:48:06,898 Before he reconstitutes. 530 00:48:07,233 --> 00:48:10,760 Then take his damn blood, and maybe he'll let me have a look at him. 531 00:48:14,608 --> 00:48:16,973 Do you mind if I examine your neck for a minute? 532 00:48:18,544 --> 00:48:19,476 Any masses? 533 00:48:26,285 --> 00:48:27,445 Stop talking shit! 534 00:48:27,519 --> 00:48:30,010 Are you trying to say your dumb hallucination has externalized? 535 00:48:30,089 --> 00:48:31,317 What did he write? 536 00:48:31,390 --> 00:48:33,187 "Not common aphasia. 537 00:48:33,258 --> 00:48:36,785 "Time-space, fallout from the hallucination." 538 00:48:36,862 --> 00:48:38,955 You are a fucking flake, Jessup. 539 00:48:39,064 --> 00:48:40,827 Get dressed. I'm taking you to the Brigham... 540 00:48:40,899 --> 00:48:42,730 ...and do a complete workup on you. 541 00:48:45,037 --> 00:48:47,733 You are a very sick dude, you dumb son of a bitch. 542 00:48:47,806 --> 00:48:49,774 I'll look down your throat, do some skull films... 543 00:48:49,842 --> 00:48:52,868 ...get a CAT scan, maybe even an arteriogram, and I'd like... 544 00:48:52,945 --> 00:48:55,470 ...an unbiased eye to look at those EEG tracings. 545 00:48:56,948 --> 00:48:58,279 What does he say? 546 00:48:58,650 --> 00:48:59,412 "X-ray! " 547 00:49:00,184 --> 00:49:03,449 All right, finish up with him and let's get him over to X-ray. 548 00:49:03,855 --> 00:49:05,220 Be right back. 549 00:49:34,152 --> 00:49:35,847 is it possible it's purely mechanical? 550 00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:38,820 Well, if it isn't neurological, it's got to be mechanical. 551 00:49:39,222 --> 00:49:43,386 I'd like some plain films of this guy's neck. A PA, a lateral and oblique. 552 00:49:43,460 --> 00:49:44,825 I'm backed up to my ass! 553 00:49:44,895 --> 00:49:47,193 Just take the damn pictures! This is an emergency! 554 00:50:06,783 --> 00:50:08,182 Might be a TIA. 555 00:50:09,086 --> 00:50:11,316 I guess we'd better not tell Eddie he had... 556 00:50:11,888 --> 00:50:15,790 ...blood all over his face when he came out of the tank. He'll claim it was... 557 00:50:16,927 --> 00:50:19,793 ...goat's blood from that goat he was eating in his hallucination. 558 00:50:19,862 --> 00:50:22,330 You know, you're really getting as weird as he is! 559 00:50:22,398 --> 00:50:24,229 What do you think happened? 560 00:50:25,334 --> 00:50:28,326 He's not the type for hysterical conversion, so I'm thinking seizure. 561 00:50:28,404 --> 00:50:32,397 He came out of that tank in a fugue state and had blood all over his face. 562 00:50:32,475 --> 00:50:34,705 He must have had a seizure while in the tank... 563 00:50:34,777 --> 00:50:37,974 ...bit his lip while convulsing and is postictally aphasic. 564 00:50:38,047 --> 00:50:41,983 I thought maybe he had a vascular insult, a stroke, a flipped embolus... 565 00:50:43,119 --> 00:50:46,350 ...but neurologically he's intact, so I'm thinking seizure now. 566 00:50:58,801 --> 00:51:01,325 Now you just take it easy. 567 00:51:01,402 --> 00:51:03,927 None of us are so terrific at reading X-rays. 568 00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:05,399 What are you looking for? 569 00:51:05,473 --> 00:51:08,499 Just put these in an envelope. Who's reading tonight in Radiology? 570 00:51:08,576 --> 00:51:09,941 Dr. Wissenschaft. 571 00:51:12,714 --> 00:51:14,705 I want someone reliable to look at them. 572 00:51:14,783 --> 00:51:16,751 I'd rather not have everyone in the Brigham on this. 573 00:51:16,818 --> 00:51:19,218 It's bad enough we've got this nosy X-ray technician. 574 00:51:19,287 --> 00:51:20,447 Are you all right? 575 00:51:20,522 --> 00:51:23,491 I'm fine. I tried to indicate this was just a transient thing. 576 00:51:23,558 --> 00:51:25,958 A transient ischemic attack, that's all it was. 577 00:51:26,361 --> 00:51:29,228 -He's got his voice back. -It wasn't an ischemic attack! 578 00:51:29,430 --> 00:51:31,295 It wasn't a seizure. You saw the X-rays, Mason. 579 00:51:31,366 --> 00:51:34,631 There was something anterior to the larynx that looked like a laryngeal sac. 580 00:51:34,702 --> 00:51:37,262 That's strictly simian. I obviously regressed... 581 00:51:37,772 --> 00:51:40,206 ...to some quasi-simian creature. 582 00:51:45,813 --> 00:51:47,713 I'll show these to someone who can read them right. 583 00:51:47,781 --> 00:51:49,874 You're reading them wrong. That's all... 584 00:51:49,950 --> 00:51:51,076 ...because no one is going to tell me... 585 00:51:51,151 --> 00:51:53,984 ...you de-differentiated your goddamn genetic structure... 586 00:51:54,054 --> 00:51:56,545 ...for four goddamn hours and then reconstituted! 587 00:51:57,124 --> 00:51:59,888 I'm a professor of endocrinology at the Harvard Medical School! 588 00:51:59,960 --> 00:52:02,690 I'm an attending physician at the Peter Bent Brigham Hospital! 589 00:52:02,763 --> 00:52:04,060 I'm a contributing editor... 590 00:52:04,131 --> 00:52:06,065 ...to the American Journal of Endocrinology! 591 00:52:06,133 --> 00:52:10,194 And I'm a fellow and vice-president of the Eastern Association of Endocrinologists! 592 00:52:10,270 --> 00:52:12,238 And president of the Journal Club! 593 00:52:12,773 --> 00:52:14,400 And I'm not going to listen to any more of... 594 00:52:14,474 --> 00:52:19,275 ...your cabalistic, quantum, friggin', dumb, limbo mumbo jumbo! 595 00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:21,910 I'm going to show these to a radiologist! 596 00:52:33,559 --> 00:52:34,548 Do me a favor. 597 00:52:34,627 --> 00:52:37,061 Conclusion, bilateral aspiration pneumonia. 598 00:52:37,396 --> 00:52:40,854 -Do me a favor and take a look at these. -What's the story in this case? 599 00:52:41,434 --> 00:52:46,098 A 35-year-old white man, acute onset of aphasia, no history of trauma. 600 00:52:46,939 --> 00:52:48,236 What are you looking for? 601 00:52:48,307 --> 00:52:51,367 It looks to me like the architecture is somewhat abnormal. 602 00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:55,172 Somewhat? 603 00:52:56,582 --> 00:52:58,277 This guy is a fucking gorilla! 604 00:54:07,918 --> 00:54:09,442 Are you okay, Dr. Jessup? 605 00:54:09,620 --> 00:54:10,712 Yes. 606 00:55:41,043 --> 00:55:42,806 Are you all right, Dr. Jessup? 607 00:55:49,518 --> 00:55:50,575 I'm fine. 608 00:56:00,261 --> 00:56:01,990 I just want to make a few notes. 609 00:56:40,233 --> 00:56:42,133 My God, you look so marvelous! 610 00:56:43,336 --> 00:56:44,894 How have you been, Eddie? 611 00:56:45,105 --> 00:56:46,402 Just fine. You? 612 00:56:46,806 --> 00:56:47,830 Fine. 613 00:56:48,775 --> 00:56:49,833 Look, there's Daddy. 614 00:56:49,909 --> 00:56:52,241 Are you going to drive us to our new house? 615 00:56:52,946 --> 00:56:54,743 You bet. Depending how nice you are... 616 00:56:54,814 --> 00:56:57,282 ...maybe we'll take you to a Chinese restaurant. 617 00:56:59,352 --> 00:57:02,651 Don't let anybody tell you baboons aren't occasionally carnivorous. 618 00:57:03,022 --> 00:57:05,183 I observed instances of predation... 619 00:57:05,558 --> 00:57:08,322 ...which involved the unmistakable behavior of hunters. 620 00:57:08,394 --> 00:57:11,329 A pair of baboons killed the Thomson's gazelle and ate it. 621 00:57:11,397 --> 00:57:13,421 There was even a rudimentary communication... 622 00:57:13,499 --> 00:57:15,126 ...between the two baboons... 623 00:57:16,235 --> 00:57:17,463 ...so I've become... 624 00:57:17,536 --> 00:57:20,630 ...fascinated with the work being done on nonverbal communications with apes. 625 00:57:20,706 --> 00:57:23,971 I've been corresponding with the Gardners at the University of Nevada. 626 00:57:24,042 --> 00:57:27,170 i may just go out and spend a couple of weeks there this summer. 627 00:57:27,346 --> 00:57:30,042 I've got nothing else to do except write up my report. 628 00:57:30,115 --> 00:57:32,845 I don't suppose you recorded any of those baboon sounds? 629 00:57:33,719 --> 00:57:35,084 Of course I did. Why? 630 00:57:35,154 --> 00:57:36,917 I'd like very much to hear them. 631 00:57:37,222 --> 00:57:38,211 Of course. 632 00:57:39,458 --> 00:57:41,824 Mrs. Tally said she'll be here tomorrow morning at 10:30... 633 00:57:41,894 --> 00:57:43,759 ...to help you put everything away. 634 00:57:44,396 --> 00:57:47,627 She wanted to know if you wanted her to come back to work steady. 635 00:57:48,133 --> 00:57:49,862 i got a letter from ason about a week ago... 636 00:57:49,935 --> 00:57:51,800 ...just before we left Nairobi. 637 00:57:55,806 --> 00:57:58,639 He says you've been working with a very complex drug... 638 00:57:58,709 --> 00:58:00,700 ...which you brought back from Mexico. 639 00:58:01,312 --> 00:58:04,440 It hasn't been thoroughly tested yet and is dangerous as hell. 640 00:58:06,417 --> 00:58:08,112 What else did Mason write you? 641 00:58:08,986 --> 00:58:12,922 That over the past year you've taken about two grams of that drug yourself... 642 00:58:13,191 --> 00:58:17,287 ...and you had a very unusual instance of genetic regression about three months ago. 643 00:58:17,962 --> 00:58:20,294 You may have leukemia or lymphoma. 644 00:58:22,300 --> 00:58:24,860 He's been trying to get you to go for a complete workup... 645 00:58:24,936 --> 00:58:26,699 ...but you've refused to go. 646 00:58:27,205 --> 00:58:29,537 He's worried stiff that you're cracking up. 647 00:58:30,074 --> 00:58:32,338 He thinks you're behaving very strangely... 648 00:58:32,944 --> 00:58:36,071 ...and he begged me to talk to you about this when I got back. 649 00:58:36,446 --> 00:58:40,143 Mason is pathologically incapable of keeping his mouth shut about anything. 650 00:58:40,450 --> 00:58:43,419 -He's a stupid, starched, doctrinaire idiot! -Mason is a first-rate doctor! 651 00:58:43,486 --> 00:58:45,283 It's not leukemia! 652 00:58:47,958 --> 00:58:49,721 Or any other kind of cancer! 653 00:58:50,493 --> 00:58:53,758 I've let him do a liver-spleen scan on me and a CAT scan. 654 00:58:53,830 --> 00:58:55,923 I have been probed, scoped and palpated! 655 00:58:55,999 --> 00:58:59,196 He's had a mirror down my throat or up my ass for the last three months... 656 00:58:59,302 --> 00:59:02,294 ...and there is no evidence, no suggestion whatsoever of cancer! 657 00:59:02,372 --> 00:59:03,964 What else did Mason write you? 658 00:59:06,543 --> 00:59:08,636 Which of these has the baboon vocalizations on them? 659 00:59:08,712 --> 00:59:10,543 -I'd like to hear them. -Why? 660 00:59:10,614 --> 00:59:13,208 Did he write you that during the regression... 661 00:59:13,283 --> 00:59:15,308 ...I had an aphasic experience for about four hours? 662 00:59:15,385 --> 00:59:18,353 The only sounds I could get out were clicks and grunts. 663 00:59:18,420 --> 00:59:20,445 They sound like the baboon vocalizations on your tapes. 664 00:59:20,522 --> 00:59:22,990 Mason said you took blood tests and the lab report showed... 665 00:59:23,058 --> 00:59:25,583 ...some characteristics of simian blood group systems. 666 00:59:25,761 --> 00:59:27,388 They also picked up antigens specific to man. 667 00:59:27,463 --> 00:59:28,487 I'd like to see that data. 668 00:59:28,564 --> 00:59:32,466 The thing to do is for me to get back to that isolation tank and try it again! 669 00:59:32,534 --> 00:59:35,901 Let's see if it happens again! None of us really believes it happened. 670 00:59:35,971 --> 00:59:39,498 After three months, I'm beginning to wonder if it ever happened myself. 671 00:59:39,575 --> 00:59:42,567 They won't go back to the tank. Mason's taken over the project. 672 00:59:42,645 --> 00:59:45,409 He's got Arthur up in his lab every day fractionating rats' brains! 673 00:59:45,481 --> 00:59:49,247 What the hell am I supposed to do while they're fractionating rats' brains? 674 00:59:53,989 --> 00:59:56,116 Everybody thinks your father's going nuts. 675 00:59:56,191 --> 00:59:58,317 Mommy, when are we going to eat? 676 01:00:01,863 --> 01:00:03,228 Run along now and play with Grace. 677 01:00:03,298 --> 01:00:07,291 I am convinced that the regression was triggered by an act of consciousness. 678 01:00:07,368 --> 01:00:10,428 When I was in the tank, I entered another consciousness! 679 01:00:10,605 --> 01:00:13,438 I became another self, a more primitive self... 680 01:00:13,508 --> 01:00:15,601 ...and the drug, in some way... 681 01:00:16,444 --> 01:00:19,709 ...triggered the externalization of that other, more primitive self. 682 01:00:21,082 --> 01:00:22,640 At least look at my data! 683 01:00:22,717 --> 01:00:24,548 Of course. Would tomorrow afternoon be-- 684 01:00:24,619 --> 01:00:27,611 Don't patronize me! It's just possible I'm not mad, you know! 685 01:00:27,689 --> 01:00:29,782 I'm asking you to make a small quantum jump with me... 686 01:00:29,857 --> 01:00:31,984 ...to accept one deviant concept... 687 01:00:32,293 --> 01:00:35,660 ...that our other states of consciousness are as real as our waking state... 688 01:00:35,730 --> 01:00:37,254 ...and that reality can be externalized! 689 01:00:37,332 --> 01:00:38,321 You're screaming. 690 01:00:38,399 --> 01:00:39,888 I get this patronizing shit... 691 01:00:39,966 --> 01:00:42,628 ...from Arthur and Mason for three months and I'm sick of it! 692 01:00:42,703 --> 01:00:46,537 We've got millions of years stored away in that computer bank we call our minds! 693 01:00:46,606 --> 01:00:50,133 We have got trillions of dormant genes in us, our whole evolutionary past. 694 01:00:50,210 --> 01:00:52,041 Perhaps I've tapped into that! 695 01:00:52,646 --> 01:00:55,672 I want to get back into that tank and repeat the experiment. 696 01:00:55,749 --> 01:00:59,947 The most elementary laboratory behavior! Repeat the experiment. Confirm it! 697 01:01:00,921 --> 01:01:03,685 I would like other responsible scientists with me when I do it! 698 01:01:03,757 --> 01:01:06,282 I would like a little consensual validation on this. 699 01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:10,293 We may have demonstrated a whole new force in nature! 700 01:01:11,264 --> 01:01:14,665 For God's sake, don't you agree it merits further investigation? 701 01:01:14,735 --> 01:01:16,293 I have the tapes, notes and everything. 702 01:01:16,370 --> 01:01:19,737 What time would you like to come and look at the stuff tomorrow? 703 01:01:20,506 --> 01:01:21,803 2:00, 2:30. 704 01:01:24,443 --> 01:01:27,003 I just want to get the girls. I'll be right back. 705 01:02:06,418 --> 01:02:09,012 -i'll get it, i'll get it. -No, no, i will. 706 01:02:10,388 --> 01:02:12,788 It's 8:30, so get washed and changed right now... 707 01:02:12,857 --> 01:02:15,621 ...and I want no trouble from either of you tonight. 708 01:02:15,693 --> 01:02:16,785 Hello? 709 01:02:17,295 --> 01:02:19,354 Oh, Mason. Thank you for calling. 710 01:02:19,931 --> 01:02:21,694 I assume you've spoken to Arthur. 711 01:02:22,534 --> 01:02:25,128 No, no, I just got back from dinner with the kids. 712 01:02:25,537 --> 01:02:28,267 Well, I just don't know what to say. 713 01:02:28,406 --> 01:02:31,500 I think you're absolutely right. He's on the verge of a breakdown. 714 01:02:31,576 --> 01:02:35,205 He was here all afternoon and carried on like a madman and then just disappeared. 715 01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:38,716 Ordinarily I wouldn't be this panicky, but I just am very worried. 716 01:04:49,944 --> 01:04:52,970 -What's the trouble? -There's an animal loose in the basement! 717 01:04:53,380 --> 01:04:54,711 What kind of animal? 718 01:04:54,982 --> 01:04:56,279 Monkey, I think! 719 01:05:20,507 --> 01:05:21,974 Charlie! Charlie Thomas! 720 01:05:23,410 --> 01:05:24,672 Where are you? 721 01:05:26,981 --> 01:05:29,448 We've got an animal loose in the B-building basement. 722 01:05:29,515 --> 01:05:32,006 I'm heading to the north corridor leading to the boiler room... 723 01:05:32,085 --> 01:05:33,677 ...so you guys come down the other way. 724 01:05:33,753 --> 01:05:36,313 Now, watch your step. He's a pretty good-sized ape. 725 01:05:36,456 --> 01:05:39,653 Call the animal rooms and.... What the hell is he doing down here? 726 01:06:08,788 --> 01:06:10,550 He must be in here somewhere. 727 01:06:12,991 --> 01:06:14,754 I'm gonna take a look up here. 728 01:08:06,069 --> 01:08:07,832 Get out of here! 729 01:13:53,907 --> 01:13:55,898 What were you doing in the tank room? 730 01:13:57,845 --> 01:14:01,008 I remember large fragments of what happened, but not all of it. 731 01:14:04,118 --> 01:14:06,018 You'll have to be patient with me. 732 01:14:07,221 --> 01:14:10,384 I've had Mason looking all over Boston for you all night. 733 01:14:11,558 --> 01:14:13,048 It's okay. I'm all right. 734 01:14:22,636 --> 01:14:26,002 I suppose getting a call at 2:30 in the morning from the police... 735 01:14:27,306 --> 01:14:29,968 ...to the effect your husband has been found sleeping naked... 736 01:14:30,042 --> 01:14:32,738 ...in the city zoo might have caused you some concern. 737 01:14:32,945 --> 01:14:34,105 I think you could say that. 738 01:14:34,180 --> 01:14:37,672 And Mason writing you this whole time that I'm having a nervous breakdown... 739 01:14:37,750 --> 01:14:40,446 ...and you figured I finally flipped out altogether. 740 01:14:42,955 --> 01:14:47,016 I'm sorry, Emily. Forgive me. I know what a harrowing day I've caused you. 741 01:14:47,093 --> 01:14:49,152 I suppose you've been sitting here all this time... 742 01:14:49,228 --> 01:14:51,924 ...trying to figure out how to get me to a psychiatrist. 743 01:14:51,998 --> 01:14:53,488 As a matter of fact, I have. 744 01:14:53,666 --> 01:14:56,567 I don't know how you've put up with me all these years. 745 01:14:59,038 --> 01:15:00,164 I loved you. 746 01:15:04,510 --> 01:15:08,206 Oh, my God, Emily, I don't know how to tell you this. I really don't. 747 01:15:08,880 --> 01:15:10,814 The implications are staggering. 748 01:15:11,383 --> 01:15:13,613 Apparently I entered a very primitive consciousness. 749 01:15:13,685 --> 01:15:16,518 All I can remember is what was comprehensible to that consciousness. 750 01:15:16,588 --> 01:15:20,149 I don't remember, at least not clearly, how I got out of the tank room. 751 01:15:21,459 --> 01:15:23,518 The first thing I remember are the dogs. 752 01:15:23,595 --> 01:15:26,826 I followed a pack of wild dogs to the zoo. That's how I got there. 753 01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:32,436 In the zoo, I hunted down, killed and ate a small sheep. 754 01:15:36,274 --> 01:15:39,004 I was utterly primal. I consisted of nothing more... 755 01:15:39,077 --> 01:15:42,103 ...than the will to survive, to live through the night... 756 01:15:42,547 --> 01:15:43,946 ...to eat... 757 01:15:45,050 --> 01:15:46,312 ...to drink... 758 01:15:49,186 --> 01:15:50,346 ...to sleep. 759 01:15:54,191 --> 01:15:56,955 It was the most supremely satisfying time of my life. 760 01:16:00,931 --> 01:16:02,626 I may have killed a man tonight. 761 01:16:04,602 --> 01:16:05,864 I remember... 762 01:16:07,972 --> 01:16:09,530 ...beating on a.... 763 01:16:18,349 --> 01:16:20,943 You don't know the trouble I had getting these clothes. 764 01:16:21,018 --> 01:16:23,384 I had to go down to the security office. 765 01:16:25,522 --> 01:16:28,150 They want you to call the security office right now. 766 01:16:28,292 --> 01:16:31,124 There was some kind of ape loose in your isolation tank room tonight. 767 01:16:31,194 --> 01:16:34,891 Do you know anything about that? This ape almost killed a security guard. 768 01:16:35,565 --> 01:16:38,796 You didn't bring some ape down to that tank room tonight, did you? 769 01:16:43,373 --> 01:16:46,570 Your watch and stuff are in your jacket pocket. Are you all right? 770 01:16:47,644 --> 01:16:48,872 Is he all right? 771 01:16:49,245 --> 01:16:51,270 Tell Mason what you've been telling me. 772 01:16:51,414 --> 01:16:53,609 I want to hear Mason's views on all this. 773 01:16:55,118 --> 01:16:57,382 I think Mason's views will be predictable. 774 01:16:59,889 --> 01:17:02,221 y God! There it is... 775 01:17:03,960 --> 01:17:08,158 ...a proto-human. The first and the original truly human form. 776 01:17:09,532 --> 01:17:12,932 Tiny. Perhaps four feet high. Completely furred. 777 01:17:13,368 --> 01:17:17,065 Chimp-like, but erect. No knuckle walking. Shorter arms. 778 01:17:17,139 --> 01:17:21,838 He's moving along so gracefully. There's two, three of them. 779 01:17:23,245 --> 01:17:24,872 Bipedal, tiny.... 780 01:17:33,121 --> 01:17:35,521 i'm killing.... 781 01:17:35,590 --> 01:17:37,558 i'm killing something, a goat. 782 01:17:38,093 --> 01:17:39,788 i'm killing... 783 01:17:40,128 --> 01:17:42,858 ...i'm eating hot flesh. 784 01:17:43,131 --> 01:17:44,962 i'm eating the blood of a goat. 785 01:17:49,071 --> 01:17:50,299 Are you okay? 786 01:17:51,206 --> 01:17:52,195 Beautiful. 787 01:17:52,307 --> 01:17:53,432 Beautiful. 788 01:17:53,874 --> 01:17:56,104 it sounded like he was having a bad trip to me. 789 01:17:56,177 --> 01:17:58,737 Some of these tank trips can get pretty creepy. 790 01:18:01,515 --> 01:18:03,039 What the hell was that? 791 01:18:58,104 --> 01:18:59,765 Did I wake you? It's Emily. 792 01:19:00,874 --> 01:19:03,809 Eddie, I'm in a kind of wild panic. I need to talk to you. 793 01:19:16,555 --> 01:19:18,546 I don't know how even to put this into words... 794 01:19:18,624 --> 01:19:20,922 ...but I'm beginning to think what happened to you was... 795 01:19:20,993 --> 01:19:22,984 ...not just a hallucinatory experience. 796 01:19:23,061 --> 01:19:26,997 I've got this gut feeling that something phenomenological did actually happen... 797 01:19:27,065 --> 01:19:29,693 ...that there was some kind of genetic transformation. 798 01:19:29,935 --> 01:19:33,302 I don't know why I think this is in defiance of all rationality, but I do... 799 01:19:33,372 --> 01:19:36,830 ...and now that I do, I'm terrified. I mean really terrified. Petrified. 800 01:19:36,909 --> 01:19:38,001 So am I. 801 01:19:38,076 --> 01:19:40,237 I don't want you doing this experiment again next week. 802 01:19:40,312 --> 01:19:41,779 I have to find out if it actually happened. 803 01:19:41,847 --> 01:19:43,474 I'm asking you to put the experiment off... 804 01:19:43,549 --> 01:19:45,517 ...till we understand it more to minimize the risk. 805 01:19:45,584 --> 01:19:48,280 You can't. You have to work back from the event itself. 806 01:19:48,353 --> 01:19:50,981 But you may be causing yourself irreversible genetic damage! 807 01:19:51,056 --> 01:19:52,250 We're not dealing with genetics! 808 01:19:52,324 --> 01:19:54,519 We're beyond mass and matter here, beyond even energy. 809 01:19:54,593 --> 01:19:56,651 What we're back to is the first thought. 810 01:19:58,062 --> 01:19:59,859 I'm trying to tell you I love you. 811 01:20:01,032 --> 01:20:02,260 I know that. 812 01:20:03,568 --> 01:20:07,265 And I'm trying to tell you, this is an all-bets-are-off sort of thing. 813 01:20:07,405 --> 01:20:10,897 We may be opening a black box that may scrap our whole picture of space-time. 814 01:20:10,975 --> 01:20:13,136 We might even have a link to another universe. 815 01:20:13,211 --> 01:20:16,476 For God's sake, you're a scientist. You must know how I feel. 816 01:20:19,183 --> 01:20:21,083 Yes, I know how you feel. 817 01:20:24,188 --> 01:20:26,850 It's very late. Would you like to stay here tonight? 818 01:20:29,460 --> 01:20:32,691 I could do with a little love and a little reassurance right now. 819 01:20:33,998 --> 01:20:35,397 You'll stay, won't you? 820 01:21:13,803 --> 01:21:17,102 If I come out of that tank anthropoid, I'll be in a very primitive state... 821 01:21:17,173 --> 01:21:20,938 ...and impossible to relate to, so sedate me while I'm still in the tank... 822 01:21:21,010 --> 01:21:24,036 ...otherwise you'll have to chase me around and subdue me. 823 01:21:25,648 --> 01:21:28,344 You come out of that tank looking like an ape... 824 01:21:28,417 --> 01:21:31,181 ...I'm going over to Mass. Mental and commit myself. 825 01:21:32,321 --> 01:21:34,789 If it happens, we'll bring him down with a big bolus of Amytal. 826 01:21:34,857 --> 01:21:38,190 What do you mean if it happens? Everybody keeps saying if it happens! 827 01:21:38,394 --> 01:21:42,421 Do you think something is gonna happen? Because if you do, I'd like to know. 828 01:21:44,033 --> 01:21:46,058 I'm sorry. I'm just nervous as hell. 829 01:21:46,468 --> 01:21:47,594 Listen, so am I. 830 01:22:51,565 --> 01:22:52,691 Anything happen? 831 01:22:53,300 --> 01:22:55,359 I just checked him 10 minutes ago. 832 01:22:56,503 --> 01:22:58,232 Did you order chicken or turkey? 833 01:22:58,305 --> 01:23:00,000 I hope chicken is all right. 834 01:23:00,073 --> 01:23:02,405 I've got nearly 1 1 :00. That's more than two hours now. 835 01:23:02,476 --> 01:23:04,239 I think we should stop this. 836 01:23:05,078 --> 01:23:06,636 Frankly, I'm really frightened! 837 01:23:06,713 --> 01:23:08,738 We could be screwing up his whole genetic structure! 838 01:23:08,815 --> 01:23:10,476 Now how do we stop this? 839 01:23:10,584 --> 01:23:12,745 -Can you bring him down? -He's gonna be sore as hell. 840 01:23:12,819 --> 01:23:14,184 We should never have let him do it! 841 01:23:14,254 --> 01:23:16,552 I don't know how we let him talk us into this. 842 01:23:16,623 --> 01:23:18,682 We were humoring him, but we know he's not crazy... 843 01:23:18,759 --> 01:23:20,249 ...and we all know, deep in our hearts... 844 01:23:20,327 --> 01:23:23,261 ...he may be onto something beyond our own comprehension! 845 01:23:23,329 --> 01:23:26,196 Now, because I believe him, I want this thing stopped! 846 01:31:13,788 --> 01:31:15,187 His signs are all good. 847 01:31:15,256 --> 01:31:17,224 He'll sleep a day or two, come out a bit stuporous. 848 01:31:17,291 --> 01:31:19,282 He's got a whopping load of drugs in him. 849 01:31:19,360 --> 01:31:22,056 It's not uncommon for a psychedelic experience like this... 850 01:31:22,130 --> 01:31:23,154 ...to whack you out. 851 01:31:23,231 --> 01:31:25,563 You'd hardly call this just a psychedelic experience. 852 01:31:25,700 --> 01:31:27,895 His heart is good. His pressure is good. 853 01:31:27,969 --> 01:31:30,233 I'm more worried about you than I am about him. 854 01:31:30,304 --> 01:31:31,362 I'm all right. 855 01:31:39,579 --> 01:31:42,605 Of all the goddamn men in this whole world, why do I have to love this one? 856 01:31:42,682 --> 01:31:44,149 I can't get him out of me. 857 01:31:44,851 --> 01:31:47,649 Do you know how many men I tried to fall in love with this past year? 858 01:31:47,721 --> 01:31:50,986 No matter who I'm in bed with, I have to imagine it's him or nothing happens. 859 01:31:51,057 --> 01:31:53,048 No matter who I'm eating with or walking with... 860 01:31:53,126 --> 01:31:55,651 ...there's always this pain because it isn't him. 861 01:31:56,363 --> 01:31:58,058 I'm possessed by him. 862 01:32:01,868 --> 01:32:03,335 Oh, it's crazy! 863 01:32:05,005 --> 01:32:07,064 I think that's the way it's supposed to be. 864 01:32:07,140 --> 01:32:08,368 But he doesn't give a damn about me! 865 01:32:08,441 --> 01:32:11,376 You're the only thing he cares about outside of his work. 866 01:32:13,313 --> 01:32:16,714 I was never real to him. Nothing in the human condition was ever real to him. 867 01:32:16,783 --> 01:32:18,045 He's a truth lover. 868 01:32:18,585 --> 01:32:22,452 Reality to Eddie is only that which is changeless, immutably constant. 869 01:32:23,489 --> 01:32:26,481 What happened to Eddie tonight, that was Eddie's idea of love. 870 01:32:28,494 --> 01:32:30,155 That's consummation. 871 01:32:31,330 --> 01:32:33,821 He finally got it off with God. 872 01:32:33,899 --> 01:32:38,268 He finally embraced the Absolute, was finally ravished by Truth... 873 01:32:38,337 --> 01:32:40,430 ...and it goddamned near destroyed him! 874 01:32:42,741 --> 01:32:44,971 He never loved me. You knew him as well as I did. 875 01:32:45,044 --> 01:32:48,104 We were all bits of transitory matter to him. 876 01:32:50,749 --> 01:32:54,241 All right, now, you're going into shock. I'm going to get you something. 877 01:33:08,933 --> 01:33:12,198 We reached a point tonight where physical science just breaks down. 878 01:33:12,270 --> 01:33:13,760 We're in blue skies! 879 01:33:14,072 --> 01:33:16,666 Tonight was history, and what are we going to do about it? 880 01:33:17,075 --> 01:33:19,043 I'm going to do nothing about it! 881 01:33:19,344 --> 01:33:20,902 Tonight scared the hell out of me! 882 01:33:20,979 --> 01:33:22,606 That tank just blew up! 883 01:33:22,947 --> 01:33:26,474 Whatever happened inside that tank released a hell of a lot of energy. 884 01:33:27,318 --> 01:33:31,118 For God's sake, let's drop this goddamn thing. I don't want to talk about it. 885 01:33:31,189 --> 01:33:34,090 I can't help it! You may want to go to sleep... 886 01:33:34,192 --> 01:33:36,990 ...but the way I feel I don't expect to go to sleep for a year! 887 01:33:37,061 --> 01:33:39,029 I'm on fucking fire! 888 01:33:39,631 --> 01:33:43,589 I am in there mopping up the goddamned tank room and I would like to know why! 889 01:33:44,067 --> 01:33:46,092 Do you believe in supernatural agencies? 890 01:33:46,169 --> 01:33:47,500 No, sir, I do not! 891 01:33:48,171 --> 01:33:51,368 Then what we saw tonight was a physical phenomenon... 892 01:33:51,441 --> 01:33:54,171 ...an inexplicable physical phenomenon! 893 01:33:54,244 --> 01:33:57,008 If it's phenomenological, then it's explicable. I have to know why. 894 01:33:57,080 --> 01:33:57,944 Let me talk! 895 01:33:58,015 --> 01:33:59,448 I've been mopping that tank room... 896 01:33:59,516 --> 01:34:02,144 ...for the last three hours and I've had it! Leave me alone! 897 01:34:02,219 --> 01:34:05,416 I would like to tell you what I would like to do! 898 01:34:05,622 --> 01:34:08,113 We have got to repeat this with other human subjects! 899 01:34:08,191 --> 01:34:09,658 We need a selective sample! 900 01:34:09,726 --> 01:34:12,752 We will put up a notice in the Student Union for volunteers! 901 01:34:12,963 --> 01:34:15,932 And get five or six subjects and go back to square one with them... 902 01:34:15,999 --> 01:34:17,626 ...and step up the doses of the drug... 903 01:34:17,701 --> 01:34:20,898 ...in a graduated fashion and check them against Eddie's values! 904 01:34:21,505 --> 01:34:24,598 We could even get a grant, for Christ's sake! 905 01:34:27,510 --> 01:34:31,344 And here you are, willing to use an untested drug on innocent human beings! 906 01:34:31,714 --> 01:34:33,011 Please stop shouting! 907 01:34:42,458 --> 01:34:43,516 How are you? 908 01:34:44,994 --> 01:34:46,928 Would you like to go back to sleep? 909 01:34:48,931 --> 01:34:50,057 Yes. 910 01:34:51,367 --> 01:34:54,302 Would you mind if Mason had a quick look at you first? 911 01:34:56,138 --> 01:34:57,332 Good idea. 912 01:35:00,843 --> 01:35:03,141 Maybe you ought to have a quick look at him. 913 01:36:06,407 --> 01:36:07,999 Oh, I hope it isn't the kids. 914 01:36:09,610 --> 01:36:10,668 Hello? 915 01:36:14,515 --> 01:36:16,642 Everything's fine, Arthur. He's fine. 916 01:36:17,484 --> 01:36:19,213 It's Arthur. Are you fine? 917 01:36:21,288 --> 01:36:24,314 I'll call you back when I'm more awake. Everything is fine. 918 01:36:29,562 --> 01:36:31,291 God, I wonder what time it is. 919 01:36:33,032 --> 01:36:34,465 I should call the kids. 920 01:36:36,202 --> 01:36:38,500 I can't tell you how much you mean to me... 921 01:36:38,971 --> 01:36:42,463 ...how much I need you and the kids. I just wanted you to know that. 922 01:36:42,742 --> 01:36:45,973 You saved me. You redeemed me from the pit. I was in it, Emily. 923 01:36:46,679 --> 01:36:49,375 I was in that ultimate moment of terror... 924 01:36:49,449 --> 01:36:51,417 ...that is the beginning of life. 925 01:36:51,651 --> 01:36:52,845 It is nothing. 926 01:36:54,253 --> 01:36:56,221 Simple, hideous nothing. 927 01:36:57,990 --> 01:37:01,448 The final truth of all things is that there is no final Truth. 928 01:37:03,329 --> 01:37:06,958 Truth is what's transitory. It's human life that is real. 929 01:37:07,033 --> 01:37:08,159 I don't want to frighten you... 930 01:37:08,234 --> 01:37:11,066 ...but what I'm trying to tell you is that moment of terror... 931 01:37:11,136 --> 01:37:14,537 ...is a real and living horror, living and growing within me now... 932 01:37:15,640 --> 01:37:18,700 ...and the only thing that keeps it from devouring me is you. 933 01:37:18,944 --> 01:37:20,912 Why don't you just come back to us? 934 01:37:23,648 --> 01:37:27,175 It's too late. I don't think I can get out of it anymore. 935 01:37:28,253 --> 01:37:30,744 I can't live with it. The pain is too great. 936 01:37:39,364 --> 01:37:40,524 Defy it, Eddie! 937 01:37:40,599 --> 01:37:43,033 You made it real. You can make it unreal! 938 01:37:43,502 --> 01:37:44,935 If you love me, Eddie... 939 01:37:45,170 --> 01:37:46,159 ...if you love me! 940 01:37:46,238 --> 01:37:47,967 Eddie! Defy it! 941 01:39:34,610 --> 01:39:35,872 I love you, Emily.