1 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,055 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 2 00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:10,970 DALLAS: Let's fucking get it on right now. Let's go. 3 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:15,562 Come on. Come on. 4 00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:17,397 Here. Here. 5 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:20,608 Now, I want to go over a few rules with y'all tonight. 6 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:23,524 Ain't that all right? Don't worry about it. Rule number one. 7 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:26,489 This is the “What can you touch and not touch" rules. 8 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,908 Can you touch this? 9 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,915 Can you touch this? 10 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:36,336 No, no, no. 11 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,839 Second touch. 12 00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,009 Can you touch this? 13 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,213 Can you touch this? 14 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:48,428 No, no, no. 15 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,555 And finally... 16 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:51,764 [WOMEN WHOOPING] 17 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:55,648 Last one, ladies. Can you touch this? 18 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,854 Can you ever touch this? 19 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:03,193 Well, that's who the law says that you cannot touch. 20 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,732 [WOMEN GROAN] 21 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:08,243 But I think I see a lot of lawbreakers up in this house tonight. 22 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,530 [AUDIENCE WHOOPING AND CHEERING] 23 00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:13,119 And I don't see a cop in sight. 24 00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:14,499 All right? 25 00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:22,545 Oh. 26 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,178 [SNIFFS] 27 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,278 [TRIMMER WHIRRING] 28 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,160 You know, I gotta go commando today because someone... 29 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:53,201 ...ripped off my favorite pair of panties last night. 30 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:54,706 [CHUCKLES] 31 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:57,243 - Hey. It's not funny. - Heh, oh, sorry, heh. 32 00:01:57,409 --> 00:02:00,253 - They were my grandma's. - They were not your grandma's. 33 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:01,459 They could have been. 34 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,343 Can you throw me, uh, that shirt right there? 35 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,923 Hey, what are we gonna do about her? 36 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,884 MIKE [WHISPERING]: I don't know. 37 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,424 What was her name again? 38 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:13,809 What? I don't-- 39 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,969 I'm sorry. What's her name? 40 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:17,975 [WHISPERS] Uh. 41 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,230 You don't even know. 42 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,312 - I do. - You found her. You have to remember her. 43 00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,393 - I know her name. - What is it, then? 44 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,028 It's... 45 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,231 [SHOUTS] Penelope. 46 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:28,648 [MIKE CHUCKLES] 47 00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:31,902 Whatever her name was, she was fun. 48 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,946 JOANNA: That's a cool table. Where'd you get it? 49 00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:37,791 MIKE: That's just some old shit that blew up on a beach after the last hurricane. 50 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,622 - You made that? - Hmm? 51 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,002 You should sell these things. 52 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:45,837 Tsk, thank you. That's actually the idea. Mike's Custom Furniture Concepts. 53 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,172 But the market hasn't really hit the sweet spot yet. 54 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:52,511 Hm, I'm waiting for the bank to make the competitive loans I'm looking for... 55 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,471 ...and then I'll swoop in. 56 00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,135 Cool. 57 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,096 I'm going to get out of here. You guys are good? 58 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,640 What? You're just gonna leave us? 59 00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:06,483 Yeah. What, are you gonna steal a bunch of my shit or something? 60 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:09,615 Probably. That's what strangers do. 61 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:13,657 - Don't do that...maybe? - Okay. 62 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:15,617 MIKE: Okay. - Okay. 63 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,281 So I'm going to see you again? 64 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:20,951 Tsk, uh, yeah, probably. I don't know. I'll, uh, call you. 65 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,415 Bye. 66 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,239 MIKE: Where's George and the guys? 67 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:36,743 SAL: They fucked me and took another gig last minute. So I got these guys. 68 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,077 MIKE: Where'd you get them? 69 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,119 Uh, you know, ah, industry referrals. 70 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,534 MIKE: My dick. You got them off Craigslist? SAL: Heh. 71 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,873 I can't have fucking union guys around here... 72 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,414 ...barking about benefits and shit. Give me a break. 73 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:51,003 So, what am I supposed to do in there? 74 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:54,170 - Hey, you Sol? Sal. Adam. - Sal. 75 00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:58,011 Oh, Adam, how you doing? This is Mike. You guys are gonna be working together. 76 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,892 Give me a minute? I want to straighten something out there. 77 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,598 You can hop up there. 78 00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:07,019 - You gotta be fucking kidding me. - What? 79 00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:08,855 He's wearing fucking tennis shoes. He doesn't know-- 80 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:12,863 Ah, heh, do me a favor, go up there and do it for 14 bucks an hour. 81 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,898 I'm gonna do it for 20 bucks an hour. 82 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,066 [SAL SIGHS] 83 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,530 - I'll give you 18. - Mm-mm. 84 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,194 Don't fuck with me. You're like my son. 85 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,784 The son which you're gonna pay $20 an hour. 86 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,010 MIKE: What's up? 87 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,688 You ever, uh, tiled a roof before? 88 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,183 - No. - Fuck. 89 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,398 How'd you get this job, anyways? 90 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,063 Craigslist. 91 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,737 And you put on your post that you'd tiled houses before? 92 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,276 Yeah. 93 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:00,781 Right, ugh. 94 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,867 So, what do you got in your bag? 95 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,281 [CLEARS THROAT] 96 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,791 SAL: Why don't you open it up? ADAM: There's nothing in it. 97 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:10,170 Why don't you open the fucking bag before I open your fucking head up? 98 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:17,753 I got a nice ham, cheese sandwich... 99 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,467 You know how to read, huh? 100 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,974 One Pepsi a day. Read the cooler. 101 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:27,513 I'm gonna do my inventory. If I come up short, I'm coming right to you. 102 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:30,228 [CAR ALARM CHIRPING] 103 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,610 Is it dead? 104 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,107 ADAM: What's that? 105 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,865 I can try to jump you off if you want, but it's not the battery. 106 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,618 I think you're probably fucked. 107 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,747 MIKE: Just tell them if they want to get into this... 108 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,580 ...be up there. I'll see you at the Amp. All right. Later. 109 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,460 [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO] 110 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:53,623 What are you doing? Stop. What the fuck are you doing, man? 111 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:54,789 [MIKE SIGHS] 112 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,082 Sorry 113 00:06:56,249 --> 00:07:00,220 It's new. It's gonna stay new if you don't rip off the damn plastic. 114 00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,721 ADAM: Why do you have that? 115 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,305 Because it protects it. I'm going to rip it off when I'm ready to sell it. 116 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:06,844 It'll be like brand-new. 117 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,978 Where are you from? 118 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,772 Citrus Springs. 119 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,651 Did you play ball? 120 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,658 ADAM: Uh, yeah. Strong safety. 121 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,570 You don't look like a strong safety. 122 00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:32,499 I gave that, uh, college thing the college try. Didn't quite work out. 123 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:38,300 Couldn't resist the lure of the roofing business? 124 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,836 Yeah, that and the lure of my sister's couch. 125 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:52,140 ADAM: Can you do me a favor and drop me off at my car tonight? 126 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,558 BROOKE: No, I'm sorry. I'm going to dinner. 127 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:58,354 I can take you tomorrow morning, though. What time do you have to be at work? 128 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:02,525 I need to talk to you about that, heh. The foreman, uh... 129 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:06,870 ...he accused me of stealing. So I fucking quit. 130 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,496 - What? - Yeah, but I have... 131 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,704 Well, I had that interview at T-Mobile. 132 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:15,712 So, uh, yeah. They asked me to wear a fucking tie. 133 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,714 You know how I feel about wearing a fucking tie. 134 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,877 Why don't you just wear a tie? 135 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,388 Sorry. You know what my rules are. 136 00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:26,844 BROOKE: Oh, God, brother. 137 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,054 [BROOKE SIGHS] 138 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,513 What? I also... 139 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:30,677 [SNIFFS] 140 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,845 ...could do... 141 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,229 [MUMBLES] 142 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:34,685 - What? - What? 143 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,771 - What did you say? - What did you hear? 144 00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,980 You're doing that thing. You're doing that game. 145 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,069 - What game? - No. You do that all the time. 146 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,403 It's not working anymore. 147 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,989 - Talking about games, I could be a gamer. - Oh, yeah. 148 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:49,871 - And I could sell it to people. - You'll make so much money. 149 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,249 - I could be the voice of the game. - Even more money. 150 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:55,035 I have a very good voice. I do great impressions. 151 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:58,205 You do do good impressions. What was the one you did last night? 152 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,500 - I'm not going to do it now. - Heh, do it again. Do it again. 153 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,088 - No. - Come on. 154 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,252 [IMITATING ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER] Listen to me. 155 00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:05,420 [BROOKE LAUGHING] 156 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:06,884 These are my tortillas. 157 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:10,017 Get in the chopper. John Connor, come with me. 158 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,803 - Argh! - Okay. All right. 159 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:16,189 In case that doesn't work out, why don't you come to dinner with me... 160 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,394 ...and Paul tonight? 161 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,401 You can ask him if any of his friends have any job openings. 162 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,734 PAUL: But sometimes people want to, you know... 163 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:29,654 ...they think they're owed a lot more than, uh, they deserve. So too bad. Bummer. 164 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,538 Uh, but, uh, you know, whatever. Sucks. 165 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:35,200 I just don't have to be the guy that tells them, uh, you know... 166 00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:41,294 ...that they're, uh, not going to be able to rebuild their houses. Um, anyway... 167 00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,460 Uh, let's talk about something else, you know. 168 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:47,755 You're right. I'm sick of talking about Medicaid... 169 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,549 ...and processing insurance forms as well. I get it. 170 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:51,932 PAUL: Right. - I get it. 171 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:55,642 Right. I mean, it's slightly different when you're doing Medicaid claims... 172 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,398 ...and when you're doing huge property damage claims... 173 00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:01,355 -...but I guess it's a similar kind of thing. - Yeah. 174 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,316 Oh, wait, wait. 175 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:06,277 - Remember what I said? - Hmm, I'm so sorry. 176 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,158 I just can't drive tonight. I've been driving all weekend. 177 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:10,364 I'm sorry. 178 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,779 - No worries. - I just forgot. 179 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,039 Someone will finish it, I think. 180 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:17,497 - There you go. There's a taker. ADAM: I will. 181 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,580 - Tsk. - Good? 182 00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,094 Where are you going? 183 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,807 [ALL CHATTERING] 184 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,181 Uh, hey, do you know who's spinning tonight? 185 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,190 Heh, uh... 186 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,568 - No. Sorry. - All right. 187 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,483 [GIRL CHUCKLES] 188 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:50,867 Hey, Mike. 189 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,535 Mike. 190 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,204 Sorry, bro. 191 00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,876 Hey, Mike. 192 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:02,871 - Hey, man. MIKE: Yo. 193 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,964 - Heh, what's going on? - What's going on, bro? 194 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:08,093 - Are you going in? - Yeah, we're going. 195 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,719 Can I come with you? 196 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,008 Uh... 197 00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:15,558 Pfft, dude, they're never gonna let you in like that. 198 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:17,639 Come on. I'd do anything. 199 00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:20,681 Heh, it's not my fault. I'm just saying they're not gonna do it. 200 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:25,023 I would do it, but-- I don't think they're going to do it, bro. 201 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,402 All right. 202 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,233 All right? 203 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,900 Fuck. Okay, dude. Hey. 204 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:33,944 Um... 205 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,862 You're going to owe me. 206 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,331 - I promise, man-- - I mean, owe me. 207 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,207 No questions asked, owe me. 208 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,413 Anything 209 00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:45,752 Take your hood off. Try to look a little more-- Tuck your fucking shirt in. 210 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,087 You got to not wear tennis shoes, bro. 211 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:51,924 George, dude, I got one. I'm sorry. I know, I know. 212 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:54,088 Thanks, bro. I owe you. 213 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,094 ADAM: Sorry, man. These are the only shoes I got. 214 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,012 [POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER] 215 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,481 Hey, baby, mwah. Can we borrow one of these? 216 00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,194 Thank you. Grab one. 217 00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:14,075 ADAM: Is it free? 218 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,532 Don't worry, man, you're gonna earn your keep. 219 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,457 So I got us a new recruit. 220 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,794 Ladies, meet the Kid. Portia, Ruby. 221 00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,008 GIRLS: Hey. 222 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,547 ADAM: Heh, hey. 223 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,886 What are we thinking? Yes, no, maybe? 224 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:41,511 - Oh, yeah. The cougars will eat him up. - Yeah? 225 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,772 That's a quality endorsement, my friend. 226 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,523 What do you guys do? 227 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:46,729 [GIRLS CHUCKLE] 228 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,734 - What? - Come here. Come here. 229 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,567 Any time a girl tells you her name starts with a flower... 230 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:54,357 ...a car or a stone, don't bother asking what she does. 231 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:55,992 You know what I'm saying? 232 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:59,742 All right, I ain't got that much time, so I'm calling in my favor, all right? 233 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:00,951 Okay. 234 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,116 You see the girl with the tiara thing and the sash? 235 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,455 [GIRLS TALKING INDISTINCTLY] 236 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,460 ADAM: Yeah. MIKE: Go talk to her. 237 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,372 What do you want me to say? 238 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:11,963 I don't care. Have you never talked to a girl before? Just go talk to her. 239 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,217 Be creative. 240 00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,629 She does not look like she wants to be bothered. 241 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,969 Look at what she's wearing. She came here tonight to be bothered. 242 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,385 Go bother her. You want to be inside or outside? 243 00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:22,598 Inside. 244 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,013 I'll come save you in a minute. Get out of here. 245 00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:33,567 I'm getting wasted tonight if we could get a drink. 246 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:34,777 GIRL: I know. 247 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:38,068 She's, like, ignoring the whole side of this bar. 248 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,486 - Hey. - Hey, Carla. 249 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:40,869 Um, oh... 250 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,623 Yo, man. Watch out, you're going to knock my girlfriend. 251 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,534 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, what the fuck are you gonna do? 252 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:53,091 - Uh, hi. Do I know you'? - Hi. 253 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,296 Uh, no. I'm, uh... 254 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:57,338 I didn't know that I had a boyfriend, but thank you for that. 255 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,972 Um, all the guys here are fucking obnoxious. 256 00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:01,553 - Thanks for that. - Heh. 257 00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:04,185 Who do we have to fuck to get a fucking drink? 258 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,017 Uh, me, please? 259 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,307 - You'd like that, wouldn't you? - Uh, yes, I would. 260 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:12,819 We've been standing around here for quite a while, and I'm 21. 261 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,695 - It's true. - And I can't get drunk. 262 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,026 - You're 21? - Yes. 263 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,863 Happy 21st. I'd buy you guys a shot if I-- 264 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,823 - Don't worry about it. - It's fine. 265 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,195 Oh, Adam. 266 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,534 - Hi. - Hi. 267 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,369 - I'm Liz. Hi. - Hi, Liz. 268 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,408 What do you say, baby boy? You want one? 269 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:30,044 I can't find anybody to take these. Y'all want them? 270 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,672 - Perfect. We can't drink them all ourselves. - Whoo. 271 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:37,927 Uh, here's to, um, our children. May they have rich fucking parents, heh. 272 00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:39,884 Heh, absolutely. 273 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:42,764 [COUGHS] 274 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,097 MIKE: Yes. Okay. - Whoo. 275 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,682 - What, you guys go to USF? - Yeah. 276 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,768 - Mm-hm. - So it's summer break, correct? 277 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,353 - That's right. - Whoo. 278 00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,234 And if I'm not mistaken, that says "21 right? 279 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,440 I am 21, yes. 280 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,445 - Then why the fuck isn't she throwing up? - Whoo. 281 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:57,651 - We can't get drinks. LIZ: Ha, ha. 282 00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:01,239 You can't get drinks? That's no excuse. That's a bad friend you got. 283 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,620 I'm not a bad friend. 284 00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,997 - You are a bad friend. - I'm trying. 285 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,281 CARLA: You are a bad friend. 286 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,576 See? You heard it from her. I'm just saying. 287 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,790 - What are you guys planning on doing tonight? - Ha, ha. 288 00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,170 Wouldn't you like to know? 289 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,331 MIKE: Actually, I would, to be totally honest. - Ha, ha. 290 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:19,344 If you like to get a wee bit crazy, why don't you come down and see the show? 291 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:26,055 CARLA: Are you serious? Wow. MIKE: As a fucking heart attack. 292 00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:28,470 We have a lot of friends here. Can they come too? 293 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:29,853 MIKE: How many? CARLA: Eight or nine? 294 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,184 MIKE: That's perfect, actually. 295 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,941 Hand them these. Tell them they get in free at the door. 296 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,352 Okay. Maybe we'll come. 297 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,316 No. That's not a commitment. 298 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:40,903 Maybe we'll come, if your little friend here comes too. 299 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,282 ADAM: Me? - Oh, "little friend." 300 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,490 That's an easy if, because he will be there. 301 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,495 - He's absolutely gonna be there. - I will? 302 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:47,951 LIZ: Then we'll be there too. 303 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:52,494 All right. The show starts in 45 minutes. You can make it in 45 minutes? 304 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:55,038 - You're going to come. You swear? - Yeah, we promise. 305 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,958 ADAM: Dude. You're a fucking stripper? MIKE: Ha-ha-ha. 306 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:01,048 I swear, I thought you were going to shit the bed, but you, heh, actually did it. 307 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,838 Ah, I feel like I owe you. I can throw you 100 bucks... 308 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,848 ...tip you out at the end of the night... 309 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,351 ...if you really want to host. ADAM: Host what? 310 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,221 MIKE: Yeah. No, for sure. 311 00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:16,605 - I hope you're ready for this shit. - Ha, ha. 312 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,394 [WOMEN WHOOPING] 313 00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:26,277 WOMAN: Who's your friend, Mike? 314 00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,196 [WOMEN LAUGHING] 315 00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:32,208 MIKE: This is the owner. Jesus. DALLAS: Whoo. 316 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:35,836 Fucking Valhalla shit, man, mwah. 317 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,167 You see that shit, Mike? 318 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,583 Chicks are gonna go fucking crazy over this, man. 319 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:42,923 I'm thinking of giving this routine to Tarzan, unless you want it. 320 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:46,931 MIKE: No. It's not my style, but, uh, somebody should do it. It's cool. 321 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,716 - Oh, it's fucking really good, heh. MIKE: Mm-hm. 322 00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:50,100 Ah, who's this? 323 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:53,638 This is the Kid. Uh, he wrangled, like, nine sorority girls for us tonight... 324 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:56,557 ...so I figured he could help out around here tonight. 325 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:57,850 DALLAS: How old are you? 326 00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,360 - Uh, nineteen. DALLAS: Nineteen. 327 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,864 - The fuck am I supposed to do with that? MIKE: Oh, come on. He don't look 19. 328 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,069 I can't have him host. 329 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:06,405 Can't have a 19-year-old on the fucking street. 330 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,160 Then he can do props, can't he? 331 00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:11,198 - I can do anything. - We're setting up our own shit as it is. 332 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,828 All right. Props. 333 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,412 You're on props tonight. 334 00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:17,203 Do whatever Mikey tells you, any of the guys tell you. 335 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,372 Clean the fucking toilets, whatever. 336 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,792 Tonight. And listen up. 337 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,131 - This is not a fucking joke. - Heh. 338 00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:27,923 DALLAS: All right? It's not a fucking hobby. This is a serious business I'm running. 339 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:31,343 So the last thing I need is a teenage liability fucking my future up. 340 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,136 - Don't try it. Yeah. DALLAS: Capiche? 341 00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:36,602 TARZAN: One thing about Waffle House pussy is you got to worry about the teeth. 342 00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,607 Waffle House pussy? I hate Waffle House pussy, heh. 343 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:39,813 [ALL CHUCKLING] 344 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,104 Everybody, this is the Kid. Y'all can thank me later. 345 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:43,863 He's going to help us out tonight. 346 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,399 This is Big Dick Richie, Ken, Tito and Tarzan. 347 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,613 TARZAN: Whoa, I get it. 348 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:51,154 Just tell him what props you need. I'll help him set them up later. 349 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,790 And, uh, yeah. Have fun. Make yourself at home, Kid. 350 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,459 There you go, bro. 351 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:57,869 [MEN GIBBERING] 352 00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,082 - No, thanks, man. - No? 353 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,339 - No. I'm good. - Suit yourself. 354 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:04,008 You handed it to me like the Hindenburg. 355 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,544 - How long you been on the force? - What? 356 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,923 The police. How long you been a cop? 357 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,887 I'm not a cop, man. 358 00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,473 RICHIE: Ha, ha, just fucking with you. Sit down. 359 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,353 Come on, man, sit down. 360 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,185 [SIGHS] 361 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,940 TARZAN: So how do you know Mike? 362 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,318 Uh, ahem. 363 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:26,189 We, uh, worked together on construction. 364 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:28,320 [KEN AND TITO TALKING INDISTINCTLY] 365 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,327 What kind of cash you make at that? 366 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:33,700 You all right, man? 367 00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:38,496 What kind of cash you make? 368 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,582 Like 10 bucks an hour. 369 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,463 Under the table? 370 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,039 Yeah. 371 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,958 Hmm, not bad. 372 00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,222 So you're here to help us out? 373 00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:53,383 Yes, I am. 374 00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:57,395 All right, so we got your first little piece of business...bam. 375 00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,180 That look ashy to you? 376 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,770 - What's that, man? - That look ashy? 377 00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:03,275 Heads up. 378 00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:07,359 Just give it a little-- Just a little spray on that calf there. 379 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:08,864 Oh, come on. 380 00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:10,320 Come on. 381 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,702 Dude, I don't want to spray your leg. 382 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:14,571 Just do it. 383 00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:16,205 We all had to do it, man. 384 00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:19,834 It's like the initiation. Lord of the Flies. Come on. 385 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,414 Come on, Kid. It's all right. 386 00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:24,046 We'll tip you out good at the end of the night. You'll be a happy man. 387 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,958 - Uh. - Make sure you massage it in good. 388 00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,920 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 389 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,507 [TARZAN CHUCKLES] 390 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,218 He fucking did it too. 391 00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,557 [ALL CHUCKLE] 392 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,347 Oh, you're all right, man. You're all right. 393 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:49,151 DALLAS: Take this front-row table right here, ladies. 394 00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,025 You got your ID on you? 395 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:56,116 You got your ID? Heh. You're not drinking a Shirley Temple tonight, are you? 396 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,622 No. We've already had a few drinks, so... 397 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:02,206 No Roy Rogers, no Shirley Temples. Y'all have a great time. 398 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:06,464 We do a group act first, then we do our solos, then we do hot seats. 399 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:09,341 If everything goes well and we get these girls jacked up... 400 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,595 ...then we jack up the price of the hot seats, so don't fuck it up. 401 00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,347 Dude, it's easy. All you got to do is hand us... 402 00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:18,510 ...our props before we go out on-stage. 403 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,099 All right? That's it. That's all you got to do. 404 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,936 You bring out whatever props and everything-- There he is. 405 00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:25,315 [SPEAKING IN SPANISH] 406 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,977 This is Tobias. He is our resident DJ. 407 00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:30,112 Tobias, the Kid. He's gonna be the one... 408 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:32,319 ...giving you the cue before each act. 409 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:35,451 - Pre-game. That's what I'm talking about. - It's the love potion. 410 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:38,738 - What is this? Strawberry? - What is that? 411 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:43,455 It's a little mixture. In, uh, Miami, we call it Hey Juice. 412 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:47,542 Hey Juice. Because if you drink the whole bottle, "Hey." You'll like it, man. 413 00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:48,706 [MIKE COUGHS] 414 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:50,466 Give it a sample. 415 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,627 You can't drink, so you want half a cap? 416 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:55,046 [ADAM STAMMERS] 417 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:56,839 ADAM: I don't know what the fuck it is. 418 00:20:57,006 --> 00:21:01,637 MIKE: It's just G. It's basically like getting drunk without all the calories. 419 00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:05,055 - All right. - You sure? 420 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,766 [SPEAKING IN SPANISH] 421 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:10,649 DALLAS: All right, all right, all right. 422 00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:12,563 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 423 00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:14,357 DALLAS: Whoo! 424 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,693 Yeah. 425 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:21,660 How are we feeling tonight, ladies? Let me hear it one more time. Come on. 426 00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:26,293 It's gonna rain. Rain gonna come down and cleanse our soul and wash away the ash. 427 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:29,752 So get out your purses and get ready to spend some motherfucking cash. 428 00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:32,008 Welcome to the stage, the one, the only... 429 00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:35,090 ...the Cock-rocking Kings of Tampa. 430 00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:38,886 [THE WEATHER GIRLS' "IT'S RAINING MEN" PLAYING ON SPEAKERS] 431 00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:48,516 [WOMEN CHEERING] 432 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,260 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 433 00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:04,385 [DRUMBEAT] 434 00:25:04,712 --> 00:25:08,137 Ooh, aah. Ooh, aah. 435 00:25:08,590 --> 00:25:10,718 Ooh, aah. 436 00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:12,894 [YELLS] 437 00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:15,060 DALLAS: Tarzan. 438 00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:20,394 [TARZAN WHOOPING] 439 00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:24,402 Tarzan? 440 00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:26,779 DALLAS: Where the fuck is he? 441 00:25:26,942 --> 00:25:28,410 [ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 442 00:25:28,569 --> 00:25:31,743 DALLAS: Motherfucker. What the fuck, man? Tarzan. 443 00:25:31,989 --> 00:25:33,115 Fuck, man. 444 00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:36,081 Motherfucker. How many fucking times, huh? 445 00:25:36,702 --> 00:25:37,919 [DALLAS SIGHS] 446 00:25:38,078 --> 00:25:41,127 Ken, S&M routine. You up on that? Can you do that? 447 00:25:41,290 --> 00:25:43,463 I'm not putting that out there. Negative energy. 448 00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:44,877 Not putting what out there? 449 00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:47,092 The negative energy. It's bad. It comes back. 450 00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:48,426 You're kidding me. 451 00:25:48,589 --> 00:25:51,718 Richie, the, uh, fire-breathing gig, huh? You up for that? 452 00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:54,512 No. I got the fire-phobia issue. 453 00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:55,975 [SIGHS] 454 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,354 Tito. Anything, man. South of the border fucking shit... 455 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:00,859 ...you've been doing at home. 456 00:26:01,018 --> 00:26:04,022 I'm working on something, but it's not ready yet. It's not ready. 457 00:26:04,188 --> 00:26:05,610 All right. 458 00:26:05,773 --> 00:26:07,821 We got to do something. Mikey, what you got? 459 00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:10,827 - I just came off-stage. I can't. - An idea. Give me something. 460 00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:14,832 - You go out then. - I'm not hitting the fucking floor. Come on. 461 00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:17,705 - You want me to come up with something? - Fuck, yeah. 462 00:26:20,871 --> 00:26:24,250 I hope you can dance. You still owe me. Come on. 463 00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:26,419 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 464 00:26:27,294 --> 00:26:28,466 [BOTH WHOOPING] 465 00:26:30,631 --> 00:26:33,384 MIKE: Just start taking your clothes off. Walk out there. 466 00:26:33,550 --> 00:26:35,803 What are you looking at Dallas for? Don't. Look at them. 467 00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:37,471 [MADONNA'S "LIKE A VIRGIN" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 468 00:26:37,638 --> 00:26:38,981 MIKE: Just start, bro. 469 00:26:39,139 --> 00:26:41,312 Yeah, perfect, perfect. Go, go, go. 470 00:26:47,648 --> 00:26:49,571 There you go. 471 00:27:12,256 --> 00:27:14,258 [AUDIENCE SCREAMING AND CHEERING] 472 00:27:19,138 --> 00:27:20,515 Whoo! 473 00:27:56,884 --> 00:27:59,137 All right, all right, all right. 474 00:27:59,636 --> 00:28:03,015 Let's give it up for the Kid. Popped his cherry on-stage tonight. 475 00:28:03,182 --> 00:28:05,651 You know what time it is. It's time for the hot seat. 476 00:28:05,809 --> 00:28:07,777 You know what that means, the orgy's over, ladies. 477 00:28:07,936 --> 00:28:09,984 Time for some one-on-one time with the man of your dreams. 478 00:28:11,106 --> 00:28:13,734 - Five dollars a pop. - Come here. 479 00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:16,529 That's good. Welcome to the crazy club, Kid. 480 00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:20,120 DALLAS: Come on. Everybody. Line up, line up, line up. 481 00:28:20,282 --> 00:28:23,206 RICHIE: Yeah, man. Whose big dick is that? 482 00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:24,369 TITO: Whoo. 483 00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:29,876 MIKE: I love it. TITO: Hey, where's the Kid? Kid. Kid. 484 00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:32,795 MIKE: Look at this saggy underwearing, all-star right here. 485 00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:34,463 Go buy yourself fresh drawers. 486 00:28:34,630 --> 00:28:37,179 He put that kiss on her and pouring money out of their hands. 487 00:28:37,341 --> 00:28:40,891 DALLAS: Aaah! 488 00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:44,899 Never kiss the girls, Kid. That's Performer 101. 489 00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:46,684 You gotta watch out for herpes. 490 00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:47,897 That too. 491 00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:51,735 But tonight you took a chance and it paid off. I like that. 492 00:28:51,939 --> 00:28:53,441 Fucking worked. 493 00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:54,654 I got you your money. 494 00:28:54,816 --> 00:28:56,989 That ain't my money, big boy. That's your money. 495 00:28:57,152 --> 00:28:59,530 Every man keeps every dollar he makes on that stage. 496 00:28:59,696 --> 00:29:03,121 Plus the 50 that I owe you. All right? 497 00:29:03,283 --> 00:29:06,958 Look, get ready to work, big boy. It ain't gonna be that easy every time. 498 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,964 - Yes, sir. - Fucking worked, whoo! 499 00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:12,000 MIKE: Ho! 500 00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:15,091 DALLAS: Ken, nice fucking robot. 501 00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:19,725 Mike lays it out. Tito bringing in the south side with some brown skin. 502 00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:22,682 Big Dick, they are still devastated by your cock. 503 00:29:22,844 --> 00:29:25,643 RICHIE: It was like 25 percent dancing, 50 percent marketing. 504 00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:28,684 - What--? - Eh, Mike sold it up real nice. 505 00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:32,354 How about you're forgetting 25 percent more genius? 506 00:29:32,521 --> 00:29:35,024 - Genius, Kid. - How we do tonight, Mikey? 507 00:29:35,190 --> 00:29:40,321 Uh, it's a little under $2500. Uh, that's 400 better than last week. 508 00:29:40,487 --> 00:29:41,659 That'll work. 509 00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:45,167 - And my, uh, cut of the door. - Yes, sir. 510 00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:47,373 That was dangerous shit you pulled tonight... 511 00:29:47,536 --> 00:29:49,504 ...throwing that kid out on the plank like that. 512 00:29:49,663 --> 00:29:50,960 [MIKE CHUCKLES] 513 00:29:51,123 --> 00:29:52,796 It worked though, didn't it? 514 00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:55,006 Shit. I didn't know if it was, till he hit the floor. 515 00:29:55,168 --> 00:29:56,465 [INDISTINCT DIALOGUE] 516 00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:58,881 MIKE: He pulled it out. DALLAS: Yeah. What's his story? 517 00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:01,675 I don't know. I mean, I met him at the site today. 518 00:30:01,842 --> 00:30:05,938 Ran into him at Ybor. Those two little pretty ones over there... 519 00:30:07,264 --> 00:30:10,268 ...were all hot and bothered, so I figured I'd bring him along. 520 00:30:10,434 --> 00:30:12,778 It was a good move, heh. 521 00:30:12,936 --> 00:30:16,031 He may have something, brother. He's young, good-looking... 522 00:30:16,189 --> 00:30:19,489 - He can't dance for shit. - Cannot dance for shit, that is teachable. 523 00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:22,404 We could use some more youth on the team. 524 00:30:22,571 --> 00:30:25,996 Why don't you bring him to practice tomorrow and we'll see what he's got? 525 00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:28,536 So, what the fuck is going on with Miami? 526 00:30:28,702 --> 00:30:31,421 Miami, ah, is looking good. 527 00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:33,833 I got a couple loopholes I got to get through... 528 00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:35,592 ...with the, uh, real-estate attorneys. 529 00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:37,924 But after that it's gonna be all green lights. 530 00:30:38,086 --> 00:30:41,556 - What you need from me? What's my side? - Just keep doing what you're doing. 531 00:30:41,715 --> 00:30:43,843 I love where your head's at. You're focused. 532 00:30:44,009 --> 00:30:46,262 You're like a big brother to this team. 533 00:30:46,428 --> 00:30:49,272 Keep that up, you could be making a lot more than door money. 534 00:30:49,431 --> 00:30:50,774 I guarantee you that. 535 00:30:50,932 --> 00:30:52,650 Both ways this time, though, right? 536 00:30:52,809 --> 00:30:55,483 - Two-way street. - I want to hear you say the word: Equity. 537 00:30:55,645 --> 00:30:56,862 DALLAS: E-Q-... - Say it. 538 00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:59,571 DALLAS: ...-U-I-T-Y. - Say it. 539 00:31:03,278 --> 00:31:06,077 [INDISTINCT DIALOGUE] 540 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:51,761 [GASPS] 541 00:32:51,928 --> 00:32:53,430 [MIKE LAUGHS] 542 00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,224 [ADAM COUGHS] 543 00:32:56,933 --> 00:32:58,651 ADAM: Oh. 544 00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,187 - Hey, Mike. - Huh? 545 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,193 I think, uh... 546 00:33:03,190 --> 00:33:05,534 I think we should be best friends. 547 00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:07,656 Okay, heh. 548 00:33:09,029 --> 00:33:10,406 Let's go, heh. 549 00:33:17,913 --> 00:33:20,086 MIKE: So how pregnant did you get that girl's mouth? 550 00:33:20,248 --> 00:33:21,591 ADAM: Uh, wet? Heh. 551 00:33:28,548 --> 00:33:30,221 Fucking great. 552 00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:35,897 Good morning. 553 00:33:36,139 --> 00:33:37,561 ADAM: Hi, sis. - Hi. 554 00:33:37,724 --> 00:33:41,524 - Brooke, this is Mike, uh... - Oh, thank you. Mike, this is Brooke. 555 00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:44,030 - Brooke. Absolute pleasure. Hi. - Mike. 556 00:33:44,189 --> 00:33:45,862 MIKE: Are you a nurse? 557 00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:49,494 I'm a medical assistant. I process nurses' paperwork. 558 00:33:49,653 --> 00:33:50,700 MIKE: Way cooler. 559 00:33:50,862 --> 00:33:52,910 Sure. Sure. 560 00:33:54,241 --> 00:33:59,873 Oh, nice, dude. Is this one of those retro Wakefield, or is this a Russel Wright? 561 00:34:00,830 --> 00:34:04,255 Oh, it's a knock-off. That's cool, though. Where did you get this? 562 00:34:04,417 --> 00:34:06,840 Uh, apparently the knock-off place. 563 00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:08,425 MIKE: Heh, right. 564 00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:12,218 - So how do you know my brother? MIKE: Uh, he's on my roofing crew. 565 00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:16,639 But I'm, uh, an entrepreneur, though. I, uh, manage a few businesses. 566 00:34:17,347 --> 00:34:18,599 Sure. 567 00:34:19,099 --> 00:34:21,568 Sure, cool. Cool. 568 00:34:25,605 --> 00:34:27,699 So the Kid said something about breakfast. 569 00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:32,078 Uh, well, he must be fucking drunk because I don't cook no fucking breakfast. 570 00:34:32,612 --> 00:34:38,119 I wasn't talking about you cooking it. He just said you like breakfast food. 571 00:34:39,286 --> 00:34:41,789 We were going to swing by IHOP on the way-- 572 00:34:42,872 --> 00:34:44,499 Okay uh, good talk. 573 00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:48,921 Um, I'll be outside with the rest of the breakfast lovers of the world. 574 00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:50,714 [CHUCKLES] 575 00:34:52,215 --> 00:34:53,341 All right, Kid. 576 00:34:53,508 --> 00:34:55,226 DALLAS: Virgin dance the other night. No more. 577 00:34:55,385 --> 00:34:57,262 You only have a cherry pop one time. 578 00:34:57,429 --> 00:35:01,354 Now look, you walked out on-stage, you looked like shit, all right? 579 00:35:01,516 --> 00:35:03,689 When I saw something is when you got off-stage. 580 00:35:03,852 --> 00:35:05,525 Pulled a one-on-one with that chick. 581 00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:08,782 I'll show you what you're gonna do. Now, let's go to the basics. 582 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:09,987 Take your clothes off. 583 00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:11,868 - Right now? - Right now. Take them off. 584 00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:14,029 Every fucking one of them. Let's go. 585 00:35:14,487 --> 00:35:16,785 Let's go. Take them off. 586 00:35:17,991 --> 00:35:19,868 - Heh. - Hang on. What the fuck are you doing? 587 00:35:20,035 --> 00:35:22,208 Heh, what are you, a 12-year-old in the locker room? 588 00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:23,417 No. 589 00:35:23,580 --> 00:35:25,833 - Then what are you doing? - Heh, taking off my clothes. 590 00:35:25,999 --> 00:35:28,297 You're taking off your clothes like a 12-year-old. 591 00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:31,555 But you're not a 12-year-old in the locker room. You are the man. 592 00:35:31,713 --> 00:35:34,592 On the stage. Thousands of women. 593 00:35:34,758 --> 00:35:37,807 Eyes on you. You are their vision. So, what do you do? 594 00:35:37,969 --> 00:35:42,349 You don't just fucking throw your clothes off. You fucking make it count, baby. 595 00:35:42,515 --> 00:35:45,359 You walk out. You own it. 596 00:35:45,602 --> 00:35:48,856 You look around. You tease. 597 00:35:49,356 --> 00:35:51,029 You seduce. 598 00:35:52,525 --> 00:35:55,199 Clock eyes, but don't lock in on any of them. 599 00:35:55,862 --> 00:36:00,538 You got to believe that you are inside every single one of them. 600 00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:04,500 And when the time's right, then you'll know it. 601 00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:06,668 Foom! 602 00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:12,338 Stick it. That right there is like hitting the G-spot, every single time. 603 00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:14,222 Now get up there, move around. 604 00:36:14,381 --> 00:36:16,850 You see, baby, you're not just stripping. 605 00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:21,229 You are fulfilling every woman's wildest fantasies. All right? 606 00:36:21,388 --> 00:36:24,107 You are the husband that they never had. 607 00:36:24,265 --> 00:36:27,144 You are that dreamboat guy that never came along. 608 00:36:27,310 --> 00:36:30,689 You are the one-night stand, that free fling of a fuck... 609 00:36:30,855 --> 00:36:34,735 ...they get to have, tonight, with you on-stage, still go home to their hubby... 610 00:36:34,901 --> 00:36:36,244 ...and not get in trouble... 611 00:36:36,403 --> 00:36:40,158 ...because you, baby, you made it legal. You are the liberation. 612 00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:42,826 Own it. Who's got the cock? You do, they don't. 613 00:36:42,992 --> 00:36:44,790 Get right here. Move slow. Around. 614 00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:46,455 Fucking concentrate. 615 00:36:46,621 --> 00:36:49,500 Round, round, round. Make this shit count. 616 00:36:49,666 --> 00:36:53,045 Ain't time for a fucking fag joke in here, boy. I'm talking about money. 617 00:36:53,211 --> 00:36:56,260 Move around, round, round. Get the movements. Breathe. 618 00:36:56,423 --> 00:36:59,267 All right. Easy, rattlesnake. 619 00:36:59,426 --> 00:37:01,224 On three, you're going to stick it. 620 00:37:01,386 --> 00:37:05,061 One, two, three, stick. 621 00:37:05,348 --> 00:37:07,521 That's the hook, baby. That's the fucking hook. 622 00:37:07,684 --> 00:37:10,358 That's what I'm talking about. All right? 623 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:12,067 [ADAM EXHALES] 624 00:37:13,356 --> 00:37:15,700 You can do this, because I know you can. 625 00:37:15,942 --> 00:37:17,660 - I can do it. - Now, take a breath. 626 00:37:17,819 --> 00:37:19,071 [ADAM EXHALES] 627 00:37:20,113 --> 00:37:21,786 Fuck that mirror like you mean it. 628 00:37:21,948 --> 00:37:25,122 MIKE: "All right, all right, all right 629 00:37:25,452 --> 00:37:28,205 Heh, we got the Kid coming up on the main stage." Hi, Beatrice. 630 00:37:28,371 --> 00:37:33,093 Are you ready? Dallas gave me the go-ahead on getting you suited up. You ready? 631 00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:34,503 Yeah. 632 00:37:34,669 --> 00:37:36,091 Why do you look scared for? 633 00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:40,054 You already lost your virginity. All you got to do now is get good at it. 634 00:37:40,216 --> 00:37:43,265 We got to get you an American flag Star-Spangled Banner... 635 00:37:43,428 --> 00:37:45,977 ...for Fourth of July summertime. 636 00:37:46,639 --> 00:37:48,983 Dude. This has no back. 637 00:37:49,726 --> 00:37:52,855 MIKE: Yeah. That's the point. It's a thong. 638 00:37:55,690 --> 00:37:56,737 What the fuck is this? 639 00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:57,901 [SQUEAKS] 640 00:37:58,067 --> 00:38:00,365 Stay away from the elephant socks, bro. That's Dallas shit. 641 00:38:00,528 --> 00:38:02,656 You don't want to look like him, do you? 642 00:38:02,822 --> 00:38:05,826 What's Dallas's deal, man? Is he, uh, a good guy? 643 00:38:06,493 --> 00:38:09,838 MIKE: Yeah. Dallas is... Dallas is Dallas. 644 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,424 I mean, it's pretty cool that he let me in. 645 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,844 MIKE: Yeah. It's cool that he let you in. 646 00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:18,846 Look, we think you got something. 647 00:38:19,088 --> 00:38:20,806 I'm not exactly sure what that is just yet... 648 00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:25,937 ...but, uh, all we know is you got a lot of work to do. So don't quit your day job yet. 649 00:38:57,585 --> 00:38:58,586 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 650 00:38:58,753 --> 00:38:59,925 BROOKE: Adam. 651 00:39:01,089 --> 00:39:03,683 - Get out here. I need to talk to you. - What do you want? 652 00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,436 BROOKE: I want to talk to you, man. Get the fuck out. 653 00:39:07,595 --> 00:39:10,940 - Get out, Adam. - I'll be out in a minute, please. One sec. 654 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:13,776 BROOKE: Adam, I need to fucking talk to you. 655 00:39:14,269 --> 00:39:15,316 What about? 656 00:39:15,478 --> 00:39:19,949 Um, About this box. I need to talk to you about this box... 657 00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:22,073 [WHISPERS] Oh, fuck me. 658 00:39:22,235 --> 00:39:26,490 ...of boots and thongs and sailor hats and tube socks. And I am fucking-- 659 00:39:26,656 --> 00:39:28,454 It's for work. 660 00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:31,453 BROOKE: For work? Adam, don't fucking lie to me, man. 661 00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:34,543 I'm your sister. I love you. I don't judge you. 662 00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:38,131 You're my brother. Just please come out here so I can talk to you. 663 00:39:38,293 --> 00:39:40,421 I don't care what your preferences are. 664 00:39:40,587 --> 00:39:42,840 - Preferences? BROOKE: I just want to talk to you about-- 665 00:39:43,006 --> 00:39:44,474 Whoa, hey. 666 00:39:44,632 --> 00:39:46,634 It is not what it looks like. 667 00:39:47,635 --> 00:39:49,308 BROOKE: Is that my razor? 668 00:39:49,804 --> 00:39:50,976 Yeah. 669 00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:54,809 Are you shaving your fucking legs? 670 00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:57,232 Yeah, I'm shaving my legs. 671 00:39:57,395 --> 00:39:58,988 Why are you shaving your legs? 672 00:39:59,147 --> 00:40:00,444 It's for work. Okay? 673 00:40:00,607 --> 00:40:03,952 What do you mean, it's for work? How could it possibly be for work? 674 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,704 [MEN HUMMING] 675 00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:09,991 [HOOFBEATS APPROACHING] 676 00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:12,869 [HORSES NEIGH] 677 00:40:13,036 --> 00:40:14,162 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 678 00:40:16,164 --> 00:40:18,166 [NATIVE AMERICAN THEMES PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 679 00:40:30,762 --> 00:40:32,856 [GUNSHOTS OVER SPEAKERS] 680 00:40:34,891 --> 00:40:37,770 [BIG & RICH'S "SAVE A HORSE (RIDE A COWBOY)" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 681 00:41:07,674 --> 00:41:10,177 Ma'am, excuse me. You're going to have to move it down. 682 00:41:10,343 --> 00:41:13,313 This is the breakfast lovers' section. Here we go. 683 00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:14,723 Hi, Mike. 684 00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:16,933 - Hi. - Hi. 685 00:41:17,725 --> 00:41:20,103 Entrepreneur/stripper? Stripper/entrepreneur? 686 00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:24,695 Either one. It's fine. 687 00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:27,614 You really just came down to see little brother? 688 00:41:27,777 --> 00:41:30,075 No, I was hoping this was all a joke. 689 00:41:31,489 --> 00:41:33,366 It is pretty funny. 690 00:41:38,413 --> 00:41:40,415 You better take care of him, Mike. 691 00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:45,754 Okay, Mom. 692 00:41:46,921 --> 00:41:49,674 I'll take care of him. You should stick around, though. 693 00:42:03,438 --> 00:42:07,284 DALLAS: All right, all right. Let's give it up for the Kid, huh? 694 00:42:08,443 --> 00:42:11,993 Bang. A six-shooter for you. There we go. 695 00:42:14,115 --> 00:42:16,789 This next performer who's coming out... 696 00:42:17,785 --> 00:42:19,913 ...he's one of a kind, ladies. 697 00:42:20,079 --> 00:42:21,501 [ALL SCREAMING] 698 00:42:21,664 --> 00:42:24,838 I saw this young man walking down the street about six years ago... 699 00:42:25,001 --> 00:42:28,380 ...and I knew when I saw him, I just knew I had to bring him in. 700 00:42:29,130 --> 00:42:33,601 Bring him in and have his talents be shown to the universe. 701 00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:37,021 And tonight, he's going to be right here on this stage... 702 00:42:37,180 --> 00:42:39,308 ...so you can see with your very own eyes. 703 00:42:40,308 --> 00:42:42,811 Our feature presentation, the one and only... 704 00:42:43,478 --> 00:42:47,528 ...the star of the show, Mr. Magic Mike. 705 00:42:47,690 --> 00:42:49,192 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 706 00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:51,486 [GINUWINE'S "PONY" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 707 00:45:09,790 --> 00:45:11,292 Did you see your sister tonight? 708 00:45:11,542 --> 00:45:13,636 ADAM: See my sister? What do you mean? - Yeah. 709 00:45:13,794 --> 00:45:15,387 Your sister was there. 710 00:45:16,047 --> 00:45:17,640 No, she wasn't. 711 00:45:17,798 --> 00:45:20,472 Yeah, she was there during your act. 712 00:45:20,635 --> 00:45:22,103 You talked to my sister? 713 00:45:22,261 --> 00:45:25,606 I talked to your sister as you were dry-humping a girl, yes. 714 00:45:25,765 --> 00:45:27,733 My sister saw me dance? 715 00:45:27,892 --> 00:45:30,645 Heh, yeah, we were actually laughing. I had a pretty good laugh about it. 716 00:45:30,811 --> 00:45:34,065 - Oh, heh, wow. Fuck. - Ha, ha. 717 00:45:34,232 --> 00:45:36,530 She did not look happy. Did you tell her to come? 718 00:45:36,692 --> 00:45:39,241 I told her. I didn't think she'd fucking come. Jeez. 719 00:45:39,403 --> 00:45:44,250 Well, she did. I don't know how long she stayed for, but it was, uh... 720 00:45:44,992 --> 00:45:49,498 - She, ha, ha, looked pissed. - Ha, ha, oof. 721 00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:51,507 How much money did you make tonight? 722 00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:53,501 - How much money? - Yeah. 723 00:45:54,335 --> 00:45:55,837 Like 230. 724 00:45:56,003 --> 00:45:57,346 Two-thirty? That's good, man. 725 00:45:57,505 --> 00:46:01,476 Oh, by the way, I got this for you. Uh, just for gas and shit. 726 00:46:01,634 --> 00:46:03,102 - Get the-- - Ha, ha. 727 00:46:03,261 --> 00:46:05,434 Are you kidding me? Keep your money. It's fine. 728 00:46:05,596 --> 00:46:07,894 - You drive me around. - I can pay for my own gas. 729 00:46:08,057 --> 00:46:11,903 It's fine. Thank you, though. It was a really sweet gesture. I appreciate it. 730 00:46:12,061 --> 00:46:13,187 Thank you. 731 00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:35,793 MIKE: That's a beautiful necklace. 732 00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:37,712 - Is that vintage? - Oh, I, um... 733 00:46:37,878 --> 00:46:40,381 No, it's... No, it's, heh... 734 00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:44,265 My sister got it for me, ha, ha from Target, I think. 735 00:46:44,427 --> 00:46:48,648 Um, tsk, SBA, yes, uh... 736 00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:50,103 Name and Social. 737 00:46:50,266 --> 00:46:52,519 Absolutely. Michael Lane. 738 00:46:52,685 --> 00:46:58,067 038-00-7128. And I, uh... 739 00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:01,281 ...brought the funds for my down payment. 740 00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:08,618 - Yes. Yeah, heh. - Heh. 741 00:47:08,784 --> 00:47:10,707 Okay. 742 00:47:16,751 --> 00:47:18,094 All right. 743 00:47:19,086 --> 00:47:24,468 We seem to have a credit issue, Mr. Lane. Your score is-- 744 00:47:24,633 --> 00:47:26,385 Right. I, uh, actually... 745 00:47:26,552 --> 00:47:28,850 -...heh, I talked to Mr. Rodriguez last week. - Oh. 746 00:47:29,013 --> 00:47:33,769 As I was explaining to him, the businesses that I manage deal exclusively in cash. 747 00:47:33,934 --> 00:47:37,814 He said you would forego the credit check if I brought in a healthy down payment. 748 00:47:37,980 --> 00:47:40,950 It should be noted in there. He said he was going to put it in. 749 00:47:41,108 --> 00:47:42,701 Absolutely. 750 00:47:46,864 --> 00:47:51,290 Um, you are currently the manager of an automotive accessories business? 751 00:47:51,452 --> 00:47:56,709 Mm-hm, absolutely. And an event-management company, a roofing firm, heh. 752 00:47:56,874 --> 00:47:59,252 Honestly, the list goes on. 753 00:47:59,418 --> 00:48:02,718 - Wow, you're a busy guy. - Ha, ha. Yeah. 754 00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:04,507 Lucky to be. 755 00:48:05,633 --> 00:48:07,886 So, what kind of rates am I looking at? 756 00:48:13,808 --> 00:48:18,814 There are ways to clear these credit issues up over time, but-- 757 00:48:18,979 --> 00:48:23,405 Oh, my God, I haven't even told you, heh, what I'm here for. I really apologize. 758 00:48:23,567 --> 00:48:25,911 This is what I do. 759 00:48:26,070 --> 00:48:28,823 Right here. Michael Lane Custom Furniture Concepts. 760 00:48:28,989 --> 00:48:31,788 It's competitive pricing. Low overhead. 761 00:48:31,951 --> 00:48:36,127 I mean, really, who wants to buy that crap when it falls apart in a year... 762 00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:40,338 ...when you can get hand-crafted furniture for a bargain? 763 00:48:42,670 --> 00:48:45,423 - You know what I mean? - Yeah. 764 00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:55,809 Unfortunately, Mr. Lane, my hands are tied. 765 00:48:57,017 --> 00:49:00,738 The company has a policy that we cannot issue loans... 766 00:49:00,896 --> 00:49:03,445 ...to clients who score below our credit threshold. 767 00:49:03,607 --> 00:49:07,157 I can absolutely understand where you're coming from. 768 00:49:07,319 --> 00:49:10,823 Uh, you know, you hit buttons and you think that you know something about me. 769 00:49:10,990 --> 00:49:12,833 I get it. That's okay. It's okay. 770 00:49:12,992 --> 00:49:16,622 All, uh, I'm asking for is a good deal. 771 00:49:17,371 --> 00:49:19,920 Please, can you help me with that? 772 00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:25,091 I mean, we do offer relief programs... 773 00:49:25,254 --> 00:49:28,849 ...for our qualified distressed clients, so that-- 774 00:49:29,008 --> 00:49:30,806 I'm sorry. What? 775 00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,686 It's a relief program, so-- 776 00:49:32,845 --> 00:49:35,268 Distressed? I'm distressed? 777 00:49:35,431 --> 00:49:37,274 WOMAN: No. No, not like that. - Heh. 778 00:49:37,433 --> 00:49:40,983 Sweetheart, listen. It's okay. It's fine. Does this look distressed? 779 00:49:41,145 --> 00:49:45,025 I don't think so, one. Two, I read the papers, okay? 780 00:49:45,191 --> 00:49:47,614 The only thing's that distressed is y'all. 781 00:49:50,779 --> 00:49:52,781 [DOOR BELL RINGING] 782 00:49:55,659 --> 00:49:57,002 [BROOKE SIGHS] 783 00:49:59,580 --> 00:50:01,582 BROOKE: You can't get the door? 784 00:50:05,878 --> 00:50:07,972 [SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" AS MARILYN MONROE] 785 00:50:08,130 --> 00:50:11,851 Happy birthday 786 00:50:12,176 --> 00:50:14,520 Mrs. Pres-- 787 00:50:14,678 --> 00:50:16,521 [TOOTS HORN] 788 00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,607 BROOKE: Oh. 789 00:50:18,766 --> 00:50:20,313 Adam, it's for you. 790 00:50:20,476 --> 00:50:22,524 Happy, heh, Birthday, heh, pfft. 791 00:50:22,686 --> 00:50:25,530 Ha, ha. Come on. Let's go. Sandbar party. 792 00:50:25,689 --> 00:50:29,284 Fourth of July, nuts-on-your-head wake-up call, let's go. Come on. 793 00:50:29,443 --> 00:50:31,866 No, no, no. You are coming too. Don't even try. 794 00:50:32,863 --> 00:50:35,787 I'm going to go to bed. It's 7 in the morning. 795 00:50:35,950 --> 00:50:37,952 "Oh, it's 7 in the morning. I hate fun." 796 00:50:38,118 --> 00:50:40,120 Jesus Christ, you better have some epic plans... 797 00:50:40,329 --> 00:50:42,707 ...if you're gonna turn your back on a sandbar party.