2
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,080
Come inside, take off your coat.
3
00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:37,307
I'll make you feel at home
4
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:40,975
Now let's pour a glass of wine
5
00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:43,384
'Cause now we're all alone
6
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:50,658
Oh. my God!
7
00:00:55,488 --> 00:00:58,594
Girl you make me feel real good.
8
00:00:58,691 --> 00:01:00,136
That's right.
9
00:01:01,494 --> 00:01:02,495
What's up?
10
00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:04,438
Oh, my God.
11
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:06,875
My mom was so right.
12
00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:09,173
Nice guys really do
eat the best pussy.
13
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:11,579
I'm not really sure how to
interpret that. Thank you?
14
00:01:11,671 --> 00:01:12,809
Oh, my God.
15
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,852
How are you so good at that?
16
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:16,511
I'll let you in on
a trade secret.
17
00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:19,385
I actually write a short story
with my tongue every time I do it.
18
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:21,492
It follows this young kid
19
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:25,256
who finds this alien in the woods with
all these Reese's Pieces and stuff.
20
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,422
And he learns that aliens
are just no different.
21
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:28,658
You just can connect
with anyone.
22
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:32,897
It's kind of like E.T., only
with a lot more going down on chicks.
23
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:35,199
- Cool beans.
- Yeah, cool beans.
24
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:38,276
- Definitely. Cool little frozen beans.
- Yeah.
25
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:40,105
All right, so...
26
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:42,179
- Thank you for coming.
- Thank you.
27
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:43,941
Yeah, we should...
28
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:46,050
- We should probably...
- Yeah, you should probably go.
29
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,482
...switch places.
30
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:48,951
What's that?
31
00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:52,147
- I figured...
- Don't you have to go?
32
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:57,285
No, no, I just figured because
I made "mouth love" to you
33
00:01:57,383 --> 00:02:01,695
that maybe you could return the favor.
34
00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:05,001
- What?
- Maybe toss a BJ my way.
35
00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:06,798
If you have time.
36
00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:09,634
My stomach is
super-iffy right now.
37
00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:13,300
I think I got food poisoning.
38
00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:14,878
Baby.
39
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:19,644
So I'm just in no condition
to blow you right now, Noah.
40
00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:21,616
- No, yeah, that's cool.
- Okay.
41
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:24,551
Sorry. Next time, sweetie.
42
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:27,185
Are you sure you don't
want to come over tonight?
43
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,260
There's this thing called
a geomagnetic storm.
44
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:32,421
It's really cool and
rare, actually.
45
00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:36,092
It's like an astronomical explosion in
the sky of all these beautiful colors.
46
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,031
Whoa!
47
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:41,970
Kind of like Mother Nature's fireworks.
It happens, like, almost never.
48
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,768
Like I said, I'm just
not feeling good.
49
00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:46,070
But thank you so much
for going down on me.
50
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:50,512
Oh, yeah. You're really good
at getting going down on,
51
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:52,412
getting downed on,
52
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:55,349
- so you should be proud of that as well.
- Okay, cool. You da man!
53
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:56,783
You da man.
54
00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:59,288
Peace. You're the best, sweetie.
55
00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,450
Don't stop believing in
yourself, okay, Maris?
56
00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:06,856
Uncle Ricky, could you
read us a bedtime story?
57
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,796
Please, huh, please?
58
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,131
Here we go.
59
00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:15,297
Once upon a time, not long ago.
60
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:17,841
Where people wore pajamas
and lived life slow.
61
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,104
Where la ws were stern
and justice stood.
62
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,373
And people were behavin'
like they ought to good.
63
00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:24,573
There lived a little
boy who was misled.
64
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,049
By another little boy and
this is what he said.
65
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,416
Me and you Tike We're
gonna make some cash.
66
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,853
Robbin' old folks and
makin' the dash.
67
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,118
They did the job, money
came with ease.
68
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,251
But one couldn't stop It's
like he bade disease.
69
00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:38,795
He robbed another and another
anda sister anda brother.
70
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,161
Tried to rob a man who was a D.
T. undercover.
71
00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:43,393
The cap grabbed his arm He
started actin' erratic.
72
00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:45,799
He said, "Keep still bay,
no need for static"
73
00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:48,098
Punched him in his belly
and gave him a slap.
74
00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:50,470
But little did he know The
little boy was strapped.
75
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,043
The kid pulled outta gun He
said, "Why'd you hit me? "
76
00:03:53,132 --> 00:03:55,169
The barrel was set straight
for the cop's kidney.
77
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,612
Han up the stairs up
to the tap floor.
78
00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:59,809
Opened up a door, there
guess who he saw.
79
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:02,010
Dave, the dope fiend
shaatin' dope.
80
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:04,349
Who don't know the meaning
of water nor soap?
81
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:06,754
He said, "I need bullets,
hurry up, run "
82
00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:09,122
The dope fiend rolled back
a spankin' shot gun.
83
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:11,559
This ain't funny, so
don't ya dare laugh.
84
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,892
Just another case about
the wrong pa ti?
85
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,627
Straight and narrow or
your soul gets cast.
86
00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:18,396
Good night
87
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:26,438
- Yo, Mom, what's up?
- Noah!
88
00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:29,103
Where were you?
Were you out with that girl again?
89
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:30,772
Yeah, but she's not
"that girl", okay?
90
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:33,111
We're in a relationship.
it's legit.
91
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,277
So have you started
looking for a job yet?
92
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:37,946
I can't afford to have you
sitting around all day.
93
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:42,891
You're in a period of stasis.
Just a stage of stasis.
94
00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:46,725
Sorry. - You sure you
don't want that beer now?
95
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,855
Or maybe something stronger?
I have absinthe.
96
00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:51,525
Why can't we hit up Dad?
He owes us 10 years of alimony.
97
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:52,898
Oh, look, kiddo.
98
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,166
If you're looking for a handout,
think again times 10.
99
00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:58,674
That guy's a diamond dealer.
He has crazy cash.
100
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,335
Why'd you marry such an A-hole?
101
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,412
That A-hole gave me the
greatest gift in the world.
102
00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:04,674
Crabs?
103
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:06,816
He gave me you.
104
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,908
- Okay.
105
00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:10,146
So, tell me, what do you think?
106
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,688
- Do I look okay?
- You look amazing.
107
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,655
Why are you so concerned
with your outfit?
108
00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:15,555
Mrs. Pedulla is introducing
me to a surgeon
109
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:18,595
at the fundraiser at the Historical Society.
- Okay.
110
00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,197
- She thinks we're going to hit it off.
- Nice.
111
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:22,163
Well, don't give
it up too easily.
112
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,598
- Give what up?
- What?
113
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,566
- Give what up?
- What did...
114
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,172
- What the hell are you talking about?
- I don't know.
115
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:29,763
- Have fun. I love you. Okay?
- I love you.
116
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:33,940
- Hey, Mom.
- Yeah.
117
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,876
I think you're going to
have a really great night,
118
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:37,948
and you look beautiful.
119
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,051
Oh.
From your lips to God's ears.
120
00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:43,518
Scientists are predicting a giant
storm over the city tonight.
121
00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:45,782
A geomagnetic storm, that is.
122
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:47,858
- Caused by flare-ups an
the sun,
123
00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:49,620
this rare storm affects the
Earth's magnetic field...
124
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:51,956
Noah, can you get the phone?
125
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,122
Mom, the phone's ringing!
126
00:05:54,253 --> 00:05:56,597
Noah, please get the phone!
127
00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:58,930
Mom, the phone's ringing!
Do you hear it?
128
00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:02,232
Noah, can't you think about somebody
else besides yourself for once?
129
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,306
No, I totally was.
That's why I said the phone was ringing.
130
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:05,636
I was letting you know
that it was ringing.
131
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,837
Yeah.
I'm thrilled about tonight.
132
00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:11,876
You flip, but they flap.
You flip, but they flop!
133
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,973
What? Oh, is that right?
134
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,882
They perfected
the pancake?
135
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:18,387
- A rain check?
- It's a perfect pancake!
136
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,116
- No, that's fine.
- It's perfect.
137
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:23,591
Mom, tell whoever's on the phone
that there's a perfect pancake.
138
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,494
Thanks.
139
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,230
I'm not going after all.
140
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,891
What? Why?
141
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:33,334
The Pedullas' sitter
canceled at the last minute.
142
00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:37,263
What?
143
00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:39,838
Do I have shit on my face?
144
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,173
Come on. Don't tell me
you can't use the money.
145
00:06:42,301 --> 00:06:44,577
Are you crazy? No.
I'm not Mary Poppins.
146
00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:47,412
I'm not gonna be a babysitter.
I'm an adult man.
147
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:50,181
Okay? Babysitting sucks.
Adult men don't babysit things.
148
00:06:50,309 --> 00:06:52,846
Oh, Noah, you're
wonderful with children!
149
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,355
You know, never mind.
150
00:06:56,482 --> 00:07:00,123
Who am I kidding?
Finding a guy at my age is ridiculous.
151
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,190
I'm going to change my dress.
152
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:06,837
What are you in the mood for?
Chinese?
153
00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:08,734
Oh, come on.
154
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,007
Ding-dong!
155
00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:18,645
- Noah!
- Mrs. Pedulla.
156
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,479
it's
so good to see you!
157
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,484
Oh, my gosh.
158
00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:25,613
Get over... Bring it in for a hug, babe.
What are we doing?
159
00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:29,420
God, I haven't see you
since you were, like, 15.
160
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:32,496
Yeah. So Dr. Pedulla, he's still alive?
You two are still together?
161
00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:33,892
Um...
162
00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:39,830
Oh! That's my kind
of TV, right there.
163
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,236
Yeah, well, feel free to
watch anything you want.
164
00:07:42,361 --> 00:07:43,533
- Cool.
- Yeah.
165
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:45,040
Hey, Slater?
166
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:49,573
Anyway, honey, this is Noah.
He's going to be babysitting tonight.
167
00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:52,579
- What happened to Nancy?
- Honey, we talked about this.
168
00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:54,810
Nancy has a urinary
tract infection, okay?
169
00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:56,682
Is Clayton coming over tonight?
170
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:59,347
No, Mom.
His tarantula died from parasites,
171
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:00,753
And now he's in mourning.
172
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:01,985
Well, you're in luck, Noah.
173
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,254
The two of them together
are just trouble.
174
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:06,023
Hey. That's not true.
175
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:08,997
Why do you say that?
You're always attacking us!
176
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:11,864
Honey, I am not attacking you.
177
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,562
Okay? Calm down.
178
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,575
- You know what? I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
179
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,699
Okay? Excuse me just one second.
180
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,039
Hello?
181
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:24,207
Hey, what
are you watching?
182
00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:26,510
- Just watching some gymnastics.
- Cool.
183
00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:28,586
Hey, how old are you, man?
184
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:30,881
- Thirteen.
- Thirteen?
185
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:33,890
What am I doing here?
Why aren't you babysitting yourself?
186
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,426
- I'm not a babysitter, okay?
- Yeah, neither am I.
187
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:37,857
If you would just
man up and babysit,
188
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:40,123
I wouldn't have to be here tonight.
I could be out having fun.
189
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:42,392
I have severe anxiety issues.
190
00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:47,560
And my doctor, he says that I can't
handle any kind of responsibility,
191
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:50,573
- or else I could just snap...
192
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,006
...at any moment.
193
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,209
Jesus Christ, man. Relax.
194
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,144
Okay. Sorry.
195
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,216
Slater, nice to meet you.
196
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,911
All right, should we go upstairs?
Bye, honey.
197
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:03,009
We're gonna have
some fun tonight, pal.
198
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,385
Hall back
nice and easy.
199
00:09:06,478 --> 00:09:09,049
Keep your breath inside
so you don't get wheezy.
200
00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:11,560
Honey! What did Mommy tell you
about the mascara? Put it down.
201
00:09:11,650 --> 00:09:13,994
- You said I could play dress-up.
- Yeah, I said you could play dress-up,
202
00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:15,156
not make yourself
look like a hooker.
203
00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:16,289
Look at you!
204
00:09:17,222 --> 00:09:21,932
My daughter Blithe is going
through this whole "celebutante" phase.
205
00:09:22,027 --> 00:09:23,836
It's kind of unfortunate,
but it's a fad.
206
00:09:23,929 --> 00:09:25,033
That's what they
do in the schools.
207
00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:26,939
It'll pass.
I don't know where they come from.
208
00:09:27,032 --> 00:09:29,069
- Kids, right?
- Yeah, kids.
209
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:30,806
Are you the babysitter?
210
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:32,905
Why, in fact, I am. I'm Noah.
211
00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,485
- Noah. That's your name?
- Yeah.
212
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:36,985
That's a super-hot name.
213
00:09:37,075 --> 00:09:38,053
What?
214
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:41,056
Honey, it's not hot.
It's just his name.
215
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,683
Mom, trust me. it's a hot name.
216
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:45,561
It's actually biblical.
217
00:09:45,684 --> 00:09:47,220
The Bible's a hot book.
218
00:09:47,886 --> 00:09:51,265
Sometimes I like to get dressed up
and wear my mom's makeup, Noah.
219
00:09:51,356 --> 00:09:52,767
- That's cool.
- I was thinking
220
00:09:52,891 --> 00:09:54,598
we could dress you
up like a princess.
221
00:09:55,527 --> 00:09:57,871
- No, I don't think, uh...
- No, honey,
222
00:09:57,963 --> 00:09:59,533
- maybe not tonight.
- Mom!
223
00:09:59,631 --> 00:10:02,134
- Excuse me just one second.
- Yeah, see you in a sec.
224
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:04,339
Hey, Noah.
I have a little surprise for you.
225
00:10:04,436 --> 00:10:05,506
Cool. Thanks. What is it?
226
00:10:07,439 --> 00:10:08,782
Do you like to smell pretty?
227
00:10:08,907 --> 00:10:10,511
Do I like to what?
228
00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:13,021
Oh, my God!
You got it right in my mouth!
229
00:10:13,111 --> 00:10:14,715
- Why'd you do that?
230
00:10:14,813 --> 00:10:16,292
You just spit on my carpet!
231
00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:17,723
And you just sprayed
perfume in my mouth!
232
00:10:17,816 --> 00:10:18,851
What's your problem?
233
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:22,558
My real babysitter, Nancy, she
plays with me when she babysits.
234
00:10:22,654 --> 00:10:24,793
She does what I want her
to do, Princess Noah!
235
00:10:24,923 --> 00:10:26,368
You know what?
236
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,301
I'm gonna let
you in on a little secret.
237
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:31,897
I'm not a real babysitter.
238
00:10:31,997 --> 00:10:32,975
Shocking.
239
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:35,204
I'm more of a sit-on-the-couch,
eat-a-burrito,
240
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,644
do-whatever-I-say-or-I'll-kill-you
type of babysitter.
241
00:10:37,736 --> 00:10:40,216
That's my style, blood.
You understand?
242
00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:43,718
Well, I want to wear sparkly things,
shiny things, and glittery stuff
243
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:46,449
to my favorite hot
nightclub, okay?
244
00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:52,562
- Mother fuck!
- You guys okay in here?
245
00:10:52,651 --> 00:10:54,028
What's up? Yeah, no, yeah,
246
00:10:54,119 --> 00:10:56,656
I'm just hanging with this
little angel right here.
247
00:10:56,755 --> 00:10:57,927
Yeah, we're just chillin'.
248
00:10:58,323 --> 00:10:59,996
That's funny.
- Your breath is really flowery.
249
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:02,935
- Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.
- Yeah.
250
00:11:03,028 --> 00:11:05,508
- Okay, should we go downstairs?
- Yeah, cool.
251
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:09,775
Tonight's main event
features crowd favorite.
252
00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:12,873
Ricky Fontaine versus
Dustin MacMillan.
253
00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:14,783
Rodrigo!
254
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:18,083
What did I tell you about
fireworks in the house?
255
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,589
And can you shut off the
kickboxing for one night, please?
256
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,023
Say hula to Noah.
257
00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:28,824
We just adopted him from
El Salvador last year
258
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:31,424
and, you know, he's going
through some transitions.
259
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,003
- Okay, cool. MRS.
- Okay, well,
260
00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:34,799
we'll see you later, all right?
261
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:36,365
Bes as.
262
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:38,375
- Sweet kid.
- Yeah.
263
00:11:38,497 --> 00:11:39,999
He's a cutie pie.
264
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,021
You kind of have to
watch out for Rodrigo.
265
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:53,386
He has a habit of running away.
266
00:11:53,512 --> 00:11:54,786
Here, hold on to this.
267
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,986
We sewed a GPS chip into his jacket
so we could keep track of him.
268
00:11:58,084 --> 00:12:00,360
It's kind of like a
LoJack for kids.
269
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:05,027
Cool. it's just like a little dot
that follows him, like a fugitive.
270
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:07,229
Hey, honey, we're running late!
Let's go!
271
00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:09,498
- So...
- In a minute.
272
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:12,404
...all of our information is
in here, under the blue tab.
273
00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:14,511
There's some frozen pizzas
and pudding in the fridge,
274
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,546
and we'll be at the Historical
Society if you need us.
275
00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:17,909
Cool.
276
00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:20,017
Someone smells wonderful!
277
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:22,780
I believe that's Noah's mouth.
You remember Noah.
278
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:25,855
I understand you were cited recently
for driving under the influence.
279
00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:28,619
Needless to say, our cars
are off-limits to you.
280
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:31,285
Okay, no cars. Got it.
281
00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:33,363
We'll be back no
later than 1:00.
282
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:36,023
Earlier's good for me,
too, so hurry home.
283
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,033
- And thank you!
- Thank you, sweetheart.
284
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:41,696
What the fuck am I doing here?
285
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:44,301
I come in peace.
286
00:12:44,763 --> 00:12:47,607
And you go in pieces, asshole.
287
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,111
What's up, little man?
288
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:00,222
What'd you do that for?
289
00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:01,649
You clean it.
290
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:03,015
You clean it.
291
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,226
- Fucking weirdo.
- Hey, Noah!
292
00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:08,957
How's that perfume taste?
293
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,967
Rodrigo, what is your deal?
Stop!
294
00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:15,800
Can we go to a club tonight?
This place is so dead.
295
00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:17,430
No.
296
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,669
Don't you just want to
go dancing or something?
297
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,410
Rodrigo, seriously, what
is your deal? Stop!
298
00:13:24,503 --> 00:13:27,643
I'm trying to watch TV with
JonBenet Ramsey over here.
299
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:36,186
- That's uncomfortable.
- Do you want to hear some gossip?
300
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,921
- I got some hot gossip.
- I'm okay, actually.
301
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:41,931
I'm trying to watch this, if
you could be quiet.
302
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:43,364
Give it.
303
00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:47,904
I'm watching this, so can you guys
just be quiet, please? Thank you.
304
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,768
I know a
secret nobody else knows.
305
00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:55,943
- Oh, what's up, twins?
- Ls Slater home?
306
00:13:56,035 --> 00:13:57,776
- Is he here?
- Yeah, oh, my God!
307
00:13:58,404 --> 00:13:59,542
Slater!
308
00:13:59,638 --> 00:14:02,312
You got the two redrum chicks from
The Shining here to see you!
309
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,490
- Slater's a cool guy.
- We go to school together.
310
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:09,116
- Oh, my God!
- Take care.
311
00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:10,819
Hi, Slater!
312
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,827
Wendy Sapperstein is having
her Bat Mitzvah tonight,
313
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:15,023
and she said it was okay if
some boys wanted to crash it.
314
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:18,533
- But we only want the super-cute boys.
- I don't know if I could make it tonight.
315
00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:22,697
My parents aren't home, and I'm not
really supposed to go anywhere.
316
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,468
Well, if you want to
come, you can text us.
317
00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:26,668
- Yeah, text us, definitely.
- Okay.
318
00:14:26,765 --> 00:14:29,837
- I'll see you later, guys.
- Okay, cool!
319
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,048
What's cooking, good-looking?
320
00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:34,811
You know what? I'm at a party.
321
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,682
Party? I thought you
had food poisoning.
322
00:14:36,775 --> 00:14:39,255
I did, and then Steph called me,
and she invited me to this party.
323
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,584
- Do you want to came?
- Damn!
324
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,056
I'm doing something
for my mom right now.
325
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:45,589
I really, really
want to see you.
326
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:49,188
I'm actually, like,
super-horn y for you,
327
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:51,825
and I was thinking
we could have sex.
328
00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:54,234
Like intercourse sex?
329
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:59,366
Yeah, like full-on vaginal sex.
330
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,707
Yeah, I think I can work something out.
Yeah. For sure.
331
00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:04,803
A Wes om e.
332
00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:08,214
Listen, will you do me a favor and
pick up some coke on your way?
333
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:11,914
Yeah, sure. Do you want anything
else, like beer, mixers?
334
00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:13,352
No, I mean, like,
335
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:14,890
coke!
336
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,186
You mean blow?
337
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:19,229
I thought you were done with that stuff.
That stuff's bad news.
338
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,628
I am done with it.
It's not for me. It's for Steph,
339
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,722
and it's her birthday.
She asked me for it.
340
00:15:23,822 --> 00:15:25,358
I'm just trying to be a
really good friend about it.
341
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:27,300
I don't even know where I'd
get something like that.
342
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,598
Just call Karl.
343
00:15:28,727 --> 00:15:29,762
Who's Karl?
344
00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:31,772
He's just a super-awesome
guy who sells me drugs.
345
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:34,776
Used to sell me drugs.
346
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,071
- Noah...
347
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,241
I only have 150 bucks.
348
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:41,750
That's more than enough.
349
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,649
Just ask for one ticket,
and he hook it up.
350
00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:47,317
Leave me alone, asshole!
I'm on the phone with my boyfriend.
351
00:15:48,813 --> 00:15:50,451
Did you just call
me your boyfriend?
352
00:15:50,581 --> 00:15:53,755
Yeah, I guess I did.
So are you coming or not?
353
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:58,500
Hello? Are you there?
354
00:15:58,623 --> 00:16:01,797
Yeah. Fuck it. I'm in.
355
00:16:07,465 --> 00:16:08,910
Holy shit balls.
356
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,411
A minivan.
357
00:16:10,501 --> 00:16:12,447
That car's not hot at all.
358
00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:15,312
As much as I hate to do this,
we're going on a little field trip.
359
00:16:26,817 --> 00:16:29,093
What is your deal?
Why are you wearing so much makeup?
360
00:16:29,186 --> 00:16:31,757
Looking real fly
on my way to the club.
361
00:16:31,856 --> 00:16:34,496
Gonna dance all night
and get fucked up.
362
00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:37,333
Say whatever you want.
I know I look good.
363
00:16:37,428 --> 00:16:39,635
All right, one of you guys
has to hop up here with me.
364
00:16:39,730 --> 00:16:40,765
I'm not your chauffeur.
365
00:16:40,865 --> 00:16:42,572
What if you hit
somebody or something?
366
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,680
I mean, it's safer for children
to be in the back seat.
367
00:16:44,769 --> 00:16:46,874
You are such a bitch.
Grow a set of nuts.
368
00:16:46,971 --> 00:16:48,746
I beat him for you.
369
00:16:49,473 --> 00:16:50,474
- Get his ass.
- Guys.
370
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:52,918
Not again.
Stop being such children.
371
00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:54,614
- Hit him in the face, dawg!
- Go away.
372
00:16:54,712 --> 00:16:56,419
- Stop it.
- One thing about Rodrigo.
373
00:16:56,514 --> 00:16:58,551
He's not a bitch, I'll
tell you that much.
374
00:17:20,304 --> 00:17:23,012
Slater, seriously, tell
me you are not wearing a fanny pack.
375
00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:25,814
Tell me I'm imagining that and
that's not what I'm actually seeing.
376
00:17:26,410 --> 00:17:28,253
I need it to carry my pills.
377
00:17:28,345 --> 00:17:29,915
Why do you take
those pills anyway?
378
00:17:30,014 --> 00:17:33,120
- I already told you, I have issues.
- Issues?
379
00:17:33,217 --> 00:17:34,787
You look like a Gap model!
380
00:17:34,885 --> 00:17:36,626
When I was your age, I had
a mouth full of braces
381
00:17:36,721 --> 00:17:38,667
and a face like a
Papa John's pizza.
382
00:17:38,756 --> 00:17:40,064
Those are real issues, my man.
383
00:17:40,191 --> 00:17:41,363
Whatever.
384
00:17:41,459 --> 00:17:44,372
I've got a good idea.
Why don't we go to a dance club?
385
00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:45,497
Why don't we play a game?
386
00:17:45,596 --> 00:17:47,974
- Like Spin the Bottle?
- No, not like Spin the Bottle,
387
00:17:48,065 --> 00:17:50,671
like a little game I invented
called the Shut-the-Fuck-Up Game.
388
00:17:51,135 --> 00:17:54,173
First person not to shut the
fuck up loses. Ready? Go.
389
00:18:00,745 --> 00:18:02,747
Come on, Rodrigo,
you just lost, buddy.
390
00:18:02,847 --> 00:18:04,827
It was not me.
391
00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:07,084
Slater, that's disgusting.
392
00:18:07,184 --> 00:18:08,561
Didn't your parents teach
you not to fart in the car?
393
00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:09,790
You just crop-dusted me.
394
00:18:09,887 --> 00:18:11,059
No, that was not me.
395
00:18:11,455 --> 00:18:13,435
- Uh-oh.
- What's "uh-oh"?
396
00:18:13,524 --> 00:18:15,470
It was me. I pooted.
397
00:18:15,559 --> 00:18:18,165
I don't think it was
just a poot-poot.
398
00:18:19,330 --> 00:18:21,105
- I sharted.
399
00:18:21,198 --> 00:18:22,506
Come on!
400
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:33,115
When you're
shopping It's super-coal.
401
00:18:33,210 --> 00:18:35,520
Hey, Noah. Oh, my God,
isn't this shirt so cute?
402
00:18:35,613 --> 00:18:38,150
- Oh, it's super-cute!
- Can you get it for me?
403
00:18:38,249 --> 00:18:40,229
Yeah! Of course.
I'll get you anything you want.
404
00:18:40,317 --> 00:18:41,489
- Seriously?
- No.
405
00:18:41,585 --> 00:18:43,155
Here, put these on.
406
00:18:43,254 --> 00:18:46,030
They're green.
I wouldn't be caught dead in these.
407
00:18:46,123 --> 00:18:47,363
Don't shit your pants next time.
408
00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:49,665
Dressing room's over there.
Clean up, or whatever.
409
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,036
- Can I help you, sir?
- Huh?
410
00:18:52,129 --> 00:18:54,666
- Can I help you?
- I'm just waiting for somebody.
411
00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:57,177
Yeah.
- Yup!
412
00:19:00,571 --> 00:19:02,346
- No.
- I'm just waiting for somebody.
413
00:19:02,439 --> 00:19:05,181
That's pretty weird, considering
you're a grown-ass man
414
00:19:05,276 --> 00:19:07,381
hanging out in the little
girls' underwear section.
415
00:19:07,478 --> 00:19:08,957
Right.
I could see how that could be
416
00:19:09,046 --> 00:19:10,525
misconstrued as
strange, or whatever.
417
00:19:10,614 --> 00:19:11,922
- Very.
- They fit. Let's go.
418
00:19:12,016 --> 00:19:13,188
There we go. There she is.
419
00:19:13,284 --> 00:19:15,696
Excuse me, young lady,
do you know this person?
420
00:19:15,786 --> 00:19:17,026
- No.
- Yeah.
421
00:19:17,121 --> 00:19:18,225
Which is it?
422
00:19:18,322 --> 00:19:21,030
He came into my house and
stole my mom's minivan.
423
00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:23,628
Now he's taking me and my
brothers to get some candy.
424
00:19:23,761 --> 00:19:27,231
Okay, that sounds way, way
worse than it actually is.
425
00:19:27,331 --> 00:19:28,935
Hey, don't I know
you from somewhere?
426
00:19:29,066 --> 00:19:31,546
What? No, I'm the babysitter.
427
00:19:31,635 --> 00:19:33,444
- What?
- He's not a real babysitter.
428
00:19:33,537 --> 00:19:36,848
He's a "do-whatever-l-say-
or-I'll-kill-you type of babysitter."
429
00:19:36,941 --> 00:19:38,079
What?
430
00:19:38,175 --> 00:19:39,245
- That sounds way...
- That's what he said!
431
00:19:39,343 --> 00:19:40,788
Blithe, shut the fuck up.
432
00:19:40,911 --> 00:19:42,549
Do not tell her to shut up!
433
00:19:42,646 --> 00:19:43,920
Thank you.
434
00:19:44,014 --> 00:19:46,756
Ooh, shit! I remember you!
I went to high school with your ass!
435
00:19:46,851 --> 00:19:48,592
You came to my house
party one time,
436
00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:52,256
got all wasted, and then you
puked in my grandmama's urn.
437
00:19:52,356 --> 00:19:53,960
And when I asked you
about it, you lied
438
00:19:54,058 --> 00:19:55,662
and ran away like
a little biotch!
439
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,067
I didn't run away
like a little biotch!
440
00:19:57,194 --> 00:19:58,502
I probably just ran
like a normal person.
441
00:19:58,629 --> 00:20:02,736
And now you're hanging out in the
little girls' clothes section.
442
00:20:02,833 --> 00:20:05,643
Can you please lower your voice?
There are numerous misunderstandings.
443
00:20:05,736 --> 00:20:08,080
No, no, no. I'm not buying none of this.
Come on, little girl.
444
00:20:08,205 --> 00:20:10,082
- Let me go!
- I'm not buying it!
445
00:20:16,580 --> 00:20:18,651
You got some shit to deal with!
446
00:20:18,749 --> 00:20:19,883
Security!
447
00:20:19,884 --> 00:20:21,522
Security!
448
00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:26,330
Why did you say that, Blithe?
449
00:20:26,457 --> 00:20:27,492
You were trying to make
me buy green underwear.
450
00:20:27,592 --> 00:20:28,832
Green underwear is not hot!
451
00:20:28,926 --> 00:20:30,132
You're the worst
babysitter ever!
452
00:20:30,227 --> 00:20:32,036
"You're
the worst babysitter ever!"
453
00:20:34,231 --> 00:20:35,232
You guys?
454
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,972
Where's Rodrigo?
455
00:20:38,436 --> 00:20:40,074
I don't know. I guess he left.
456
00:20:43,608 --> 00:20:47,021
That's an incredible observation, Slater.
Where did he go?
457
00:20:47,111 --> 00:20:49,091
I don't know.
I was talking to my friend Clayton.
458
00:20:49,213 --> 00:20:51,523
- Which way did he go?
- I don't know!
459
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:57,395
Got you, you little bastard.
460
00:21:01,459 --> 00:21:03,700
- Hey, what's up?
- May I help you, sir?
461
00:21:03,794 --> 00:21:04,966
Yeah.
462
00:21:05,096 --> 00:21:07,702
I'm looking for a
small Hispanic boy.
463
00:21:07,798 --> 00:21:11,075
About 4'8", leather jacket,
pajamas, cowboy boots.
464
00:21:11,168 --> 00:21:12,704
- Have you seen him?
- No.
465
00:21:12,803 --> 00:21:14,282
"I've not seen a
4'8" Hispanic boy
466
00:21:14,405 --> 00:21:16,715
in a leather jacket,
pajamas, and cowboy boots.
467
00:21:16,807 --> 00:21:17,842
Probably would have
remembered that.
468
00:21:17,942 --> 00:21:21,549
Something tells me you have
before, you fucking asshole.
469
00:21:21,646 --> 00:21:27,995
Don't say
no because {insist.
470
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:34,536
Somewhere, somehow someone's
got to be kissed
471
00:21:39,096 --> 00:21:40,871
There you are!
What are you doing in here?
472
00:21:40,965 --> 00:21:42,501
- I dropped a bomb.
473
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:43,840
That's very cute.
474
00:21:43,968 --> 00:21:45,572
Come on, wash your hands.
475
00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:52,376
What's so funny?
476
00:21:55,846 --> 00:21:56,847
Oh, shit!
477
00:21:56,981 --> 00:21:58,824
Oh, shit, what are you doing?
478
00:22:03,287 --> 00:22:04,595
What is going
on back there?
479
00:22:04,689 --> 00:22:07,260
It's all good! Just continue
eating your meals. I know him.
480
00:22:07,358 --> 00:22:08,530
He's a friend of mine.
481
00:22:09,226 --> 00:22:10,705
That looks good. What is that?
482
00:22:11,162 --> 00:22:12,937
You run away again, and
I'll break your legs!
483
00:22:13,030 --> 00:22:14,134
Then I bite your ear!
484
00:22:14,231 --> 00:22:16,211
- What? I bite your what?
- I eat your ear.
485
00:22:16,333 --> 00:22:18,779
I bite it off with my teeth,
then you don't hear nothing.
486
00:22:18,869 --> 00:22:20,348
That's very specific.
487
00:22:25,576 --> 00:22:28,716
All right. I've got to pick
up some candy for my girlfriend.
488
00:22:28,813 --> 00:22:31,589
So you guys wait here and watch
little bin Laden back there, okay?
489
00:22:31,682 --> 00:22:33,889
This isn't about
getting candy, is it?
490
00:22:33,984 --> 00:22:35,793
Lock the doors, keep your
head between your legs.
491
00:22:35,886 --> 00:22:38,833
Don't move or talk to
anybody or look at anybody.
492
00:22:40,224 --> 00:22:42,500
Don't you
fuck with me, Rodrigo.
493
00:22:46,030 --> 00:22:48,806
Hey, mister!
Hey, over here!
494
00:22:48,899 --> 00:22:51,971
I do top shit or bottom,
whatever you want.
495
00:22:56,340 --> 00:22:58,479
- Noah Griffith?
- Yeah.
496
00:22:58,576 --> 00:22:59,850
Are you Karl?
497
00:23:01,245 --> 00:23:04,021
No, I fucking wish, papi.
498
00:23:04,115 --> 00:23:07,187
If you want to see Karl,
I'm gonna have to, like,
499
00:23:07,918 --> 00:23:09,864
strip-search you.
500
00:23:11,522 --> 00:23:14,731
Okay, we're good.
I believed you.
501
00:23:15,860 --> 00:23:17,771
Follow me!
502
00:23:17,895 --> 00:23:19,374
What the fuck?
503
00:23:24,402 --> 00:23:25,881
This way.
504
00:23:25,970 --> 00:23:27,176
Hey, Eduardo!
505
00:23:28,539 --> 00:23:30,519
He's really cranky.
506
00:23:52,830 --> 00:23:55,208
That's Russ.
He's got an attitude.
507
00:23:59,103 --> 00:24:00,639
You're such a slowpoke.
508
00:24:07,845 --> 00:24:09,119
Come on.
509
00:24:34,071 --> 00:24:37,382
it's okay. Do it again.
Do it again.
510
00:24:38,709 --> 00:24:40,347
One more time.
511
00:24:41,012 --> 00:24:43,117
That's good. I like that.
512
00:24:50,788 --> 00:24:53,098
- Hey, Karl!
- Oh, my God! You scared me!
513
00:24:53,190 --> 00:24:55,534
You scared me, sneaking up on
me like a little squirrel!
514
00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:58,607
- You have a visitor.
- Dude, the roller skates.
515
00:24:58,696 --> 00:25:01,006
You're going to get track marks
all over my mahogany floors.
516
00:25:01,098 --> 00:25:02,099
Are you serious?
517
00:25:02,199 --> 00:25:04,509
Go get me a smoothie.
Get out of my face.
518
00:25:04,602 --> 00:25:06,582
- You're no fun.
- You're no fun.
519
00:25:06,704 --> 00:25:09,310
Oh, my God. Hi. Hi.
520
00:25:09,407 --> 00:25:12,786
You must be Noah Griffith.
I've been waiting for you all night.
521
00:25:12,877 --> 00:25:14,788
- What's up?
- I'm Karl with a.
522
00:25:14,879 --> 00:25:15,949
Sorry about the banging.
523
00:25:16,047 --> 00:25:17,651
We're doing some slight
renovations, as you can see.
524
00:25:17,748 --> 00:25:19,022
We're knocking down some walls
525
00:25:19,116 --> 00:25:20,356
so we can get a little more
square footage in here.
526
00:25:20,451 --> 00:25:21,930
A little more elbow room.
527
00:25:22,019 --> 00:25:24,590
- That's awesome.
- What's awesome about it?
528
00:25:25,089 --> 00:25:26,090
Huh?
529
00:25:26,190 --> 00:25:27,726
Why is that awesome?
530
00:25:29,226 --> 00:25:33,538
More room for bodybuilders
and experiments and stuff.
531
00:25:36,133 --> 00:25:38,204
That's funny!
You're funny, Noah Griffith.
532
00:25:38,302 --> 00:25:39,713
You're really funny.
533
00:25:39,804 --> 00:25:43,115
Thank you.
You're very cool as well. So...
534
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,186
You sure we haven't met?
535
00:25:46,711 --> 00:25:48,554
Déjà vu.
536
00:25:48,646 --> 00:25:50,887
Hey, check this out.
537
00:25:50,981 --> 00:25:52,517
This is an art project.
538
00:25:52,616 --> 00:25:55,927
It's made from the shell of
an ancient baby dinosaur egg.
539
00:25:56,053 --> 00:25:58,659
We like to package our
product artistically.
540
00:25:58,756 --> 00:26:01,532
And prehistorically. Bump?
541
00:26:02,593 --> 00:26:04,231
- I'm fine, thanks.
542
00:26:06,430 --> 00:26:10,037
I like you, Noah Griffith!
You're so shy.
543
00:26:10,134 --> 00:26:12,705
You're so gorgeous and shy.
You remind me of my Aunt Shirley.
544
00:26:12,803 --> 00:26:14,874
She was Asian. Are you biracial?
545
00:26:15,439 --> 00:26:17,544
Karl! I got shot!
546
00:26:17,675 --> 00:26:19,951
- Oh, my God.
- I got shot, Karl.
547
00:26:20,044 --> 00:26:21,079
Oh, my God.
548
00:26:21,178 --> 00:26:23,055
Don't let me die on
this floor, Karl.
549
00:26:23,147 --> 00:26:24,455
Who shot at you?
550
00:26:24,548 --> 00:26:27,927
Angelo on 14th Street shot
me in my tummy, Karl.
551
00:26:28,018 --> 00:26:29,463
He shot me in my tummy.
552
00:26:29,553 --> 00:26:30,827
Oh, my God.
553
00:26:30,921 --> 00:26:33,925
Please, someone, please!
Somebody get me a doctor!
554
00:26:34,325 --> 00:26:36,931
Please, someone...
Do you know CPR?
555
00:26:37,027 --> 00:26:38,028
What? I don't know.
556
00:26:38,129 --> 00:26:39,506
Do you know CPR?
557
00:26:39,597 --> 00:26:42,373
I don't even think mouth-to-mouth
will help this particular situation.
558
00:26:42,466 --> 00:26:43,774
Why doesn't Garv do it?
559
00:26:46,103 --> 00:26:47,741
Karl, don't let me die!
560
00:26:47,838 --> 00:26:48,908
I have kids, man.
561
00:26:49,006 --> 00:26:51,612
My God. Jesus Christ.
562
00:26:51,709 --> 00:26:53,780
Fucking hell!
563
00:26:53,911 --> 00:26:55,515
Somebody help me.
564
00:26:57,114 --> 00:26:59,287
- Fine! What?
- Help me, please.
565
00:26:59,383 --> 00:27:00,589
He's going into shock.
566
00:27:00,684 --> 00:27:02,061
- Please, help me.
- Oh, God.
567
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:03,931
Now, please, hurry up.
568
00:27:04,989 --> 00:27:06,093
What's up, fool?
569
00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:07,792
Got you!
570
00:27:07,892 --> 00:27:09,235
What's
happening right now?
571
00:27:09,326 --> 00:27:11,533
I don't understand. Are you okay?
What, is this a joke?
572
00:27:12,663 --> 00:27:14,472
I got him! I got him!
573
00:27:14,565 --> 00:27:17,307
I could smell your breath that time.
You were so close.
574
00:27:17,401 --> 00:27:20,007
- What's happening?
- You're so adorable.
575
00:27:20,104 --> 00:27:21,640
You just fell for
a little prank.
576
00:27:21,739 --> 00:27:23,980
- Prank?
- Around here, we pull pranks and shit
577
00:27:24,074 --> 00:27:26,054
to make sure people
aren't undercover pigs
578
00:27:26,143 --> 00:27:27,417
'cause we kill pigs around here.
579
00:27:27,511 --> 00:27:29,354
This is Julio, my
business partner.
580
00:27:30,481 --> 00:27:31,585
This is Kool-Aid, man.
581
00:27:32,049 --> 00:27:34,029
Come on over here.
Let's get down to business.
582
00:27:36,253 --> 00:27:39,291
Right there, there are prostitutes
and there are people with guns.
583
00:27:39,390 --> 00:27:41,392
And I don't want to
get shot tonight.
584
00:27:41,525 --> 00:27:43,300
She ain't nothin'
but a hoochie mama.
585
00:27:43,394 --> 00:27:44,839
Hoadrat, hoadrat hoachie mama.
586
00:27:44,929 --> 00:27:48,638
Oh, I love those big brown eyes And
the way you shake your thighs.
587
00:27:48,732 --> 00:27:52,305
Acting like you're so damn cute Just
let your boy just slide them boots.
588
00:27:53,437 --> 00:27:55,041
- You got my money?
- Yeah.
589
00:27:55,172 --> 00:27:56,776
- Yeah!
- Put out your hand.
590
00:27:57,475 --> 00:27:58,510
Here's one ticket.
591
00:27:58,609 --> 00:28:00,680
Trick or treat, smell my feet.
592
00:28:00,778 --> 00:28:03,622
- How do you know Marisa?
- You know Marisa?
593
00:28:04,348 --> 00:28:06,294
She is my girlfriend, actually.
594
00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:11,565
Come on, man, stop it!
595
00:28:12,423 --> 00:28:14,300
Karl.
596
00:28:14,425 --> 00:28:16,234
There's some kid here.
597
00:28:16,327 --> 00:28:18,398
You didn't call the
fuzz, did you, Noah?
598
00:28:18,496 --> 00:28:19,975
No. Rodrigo.
599
00:28:20,764 --> 00:28:23,745
What are you doing? Go back to the car.
How'd you even get in here?
600
00:28:23,834 --> 00:28:25,370
I pee-pee now.
601
00:28:26,303 --> 00:28:28,874
- He's with you?
- Yeah, I'm babysitting.
602
00:28:28,973 --> 00:28:30,008
Babysitting?
603
00:28:30,107 --> 00:28:33,350
You need to go back to the car, because
you already went pee-pee. Okay?
604
00:28:33,444 --> 00:28:35,253
- I pee-pee.
- Pee your pants.
605
00:28:35,346 --> 00:28:37,189
What's your problem, man?
Let him take a piss!
606
00:28:37,281 --> 00:28:38,817
Trying to make a little
kid hold in his pee-pee!
607
00:28:38,916 --> 00:28:40,623
That's right. Oye, Fonzie.
608
00:28:43,287 --> 00:28:45,733
- You go pee-pee.
- Don't make a mess!
609
00:28:45,823 --> 00:28:47,097
Come in for a bear hug.
610
00:28:48,592 --> 00:28:50,128
Get outta here.
Put that handshake away.
611
00:28:50,227 --> 00:28:52,104
Better hug this motherfucker if
you know what's good for you.
612
00:28:52,196 --> 00:28:53,573
Hug him tight!
613
00:28:55,332 --> 00:28:56,936
Sword fight up in this motherfucker!
Pull it together!
614
00:28:58,135 --> 00:28:59,910
- Have a great night.
615
00:29:00,638 --> 00:29:03,642
Okay, I know we had a few
setbacks, but we're almost done.
616
00:29:03,741 --> 00:29:05,778
I just gotta drop off this
package to my girlfriend,
617
00:29:05,876 --> 00:29:07,446
say a quick hi-ho to her,
618
00:29:07,545 --> 00:29:09,354
then I'm going to turn us
around and take us home.
619
00:29:09,647 --> 00:29:10,853
I know I can be a bit
of a prick sometimes,
620
00:29:10,948 --> 00:29:12,757
so I want to thank you
guys for being patient.
621
00:29:12,850 --> 00:29:15,592
Okay, so we're gonna go to
my favorite club in New York City,
622
00:29:15,686 --> 00:29:16,756
and you're gonna come...
623
00:29:16,854 --> 00:29:18,856
- Hey, buddy, what you got there?
- I no know.
624
00:29:18,989 --> 00:29:20,195
I find it in bathroom.
625
00:29:21,559 --> 00:29:22,970
Shit!
626
00:29:25,563 --> 00:29:28,373
Rodrigo, give that
to me right now.
627
00:29:28,499 --> 00:29:30,137
I'm serious, man.
Give it to me right now.
628
00:29:30,234 --> 00:29:31,611
No way. Finder keepers.
629
00:29:31,702 --> 00:29:35,115
- Put it in my hand right now!
- No.
630
00:29:35,205 --> 00:29:36,445
- Rodrigo.
- No.
631
00:29:36,540 --> 00:29:38,349
Just... Just let go!
632
00:29:38,475 --> 00:29:41,684
- It's mine.
- Let it go! Just give it to me!
633
00:29:41,812 --> 00:29:44,315
You're both such booger faces.
Stop fighting!
634
00:29:45,149 --> 00:29:46,492
- Let go!
- Okay.
635
00:29:48,819 --> 00:29:50,162
It's snowing!
636
00:29:54,024 --> 00:29:56,630
What the fuck?
637
00:30:10,007 --> 00:30:11,418
- Hello?
- Noah Griffith!
638
00:30:11,542 --> 00:30:12,987
Hey!
639
00:30:13,077 --> 00:30:15,557
Hey, Karl, what's up?
How did you get this number?
640
00:30:15,646 --> 00:30:17,353
I got it off your Facebook page,
641
00:30:17,448 --> 00:30:20,054
as I was trying to friend you
as you were walking out.
642
00:30:20,150 --> 00:30:23,324
Anyway, as I was friending
you, Julio noticed that
643
00:30:23,454 --> 00:30:25,798
maybe you stole a baby
dinosaur egg from me.
644
00:30:25,923 --> 00:30:28,028
And it's just, like,
I'm confused.
645
00:30:28,125 --> 00:30:31,072
You know what I mean?
Because I'm thinking that we're friends,
646
00:30:31,161 --> 00:30:34,768
and then all of a sudden, I
don't know, it's like...
647
00:30:35,532 --> 00:30:37,671
I really liked you, you know?
648
00:30:37,768 --> 00:30:41,341
Karl, just relax, please.
I'm sorry, I don't have your drugs.
649
00:30:41,438 --> 00:30:43,418
The kid I'm babysitting,
he took one of your eggs,
650
00:30:43,540 --> 00:30:46,020
and! was trying to get it back and it
accidentally splashed in my face.
651
00:30:46,110 --> 00:30:47,919
Fucking shut the fuck up.
652
00:30:48,045 --> 00:30:49,388
Unless I get my drugs back
653
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:53,053
or my money back, I'm
going to kill you!
654
00:30:53,150 --> 00:30:54,788
I'll fucking kill you!
655
00:30:54,918 --> 00:30:56,761
I want you to meet me
at Wing's Fish Market.
656
00:30:56,854 --> 00:30:57,855
Where?
657
00:30:57,955 --> 00:31:00,265
Wing's Fish Market.
It's in Chinese Town.
658
00:31:00,557 --> 00:31:04,471
You meet me there in one hour with
my 10 grand, or you're dead meat.
659
00:31:04,561 --> 00:31:06,632
Okay. Thanks, bye.
660
00:31:07,798 --> 00:31:09,243
I have to go pee-pee now.
661
00:31:10,534 --> 00:31:12,946
You're holding it in
this time, asshole.
662
00:31:23,380 --> 00:31:25,121
It'll be all right.
663
00:31:25,215 --> 00:31:27,286
I thought he was my friend.
664
00:31:32,656 --> 00:31:34,192
It's all right.
665
00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:40,701
- Shut up!
- I wanna go home.
666
00:31:40,798 --> 00:31:42,835
- I don't know what you're saying.
667
00:31:42,933 --> 00:31:44,344
- Don't. Stop it!
- Stop! No!
668
00:31:44,435 --> 00:31:48,850
- No, my lip gloss! Give it back!
- Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
669
00:31:48,939 --> 00:31:50,179
What are you getting
mad at us for?
670
00:31:50,274 --> 00:31:53,551
Because Rodrigo here is a thief,
and now I'm in deep shit.
671
00:31:53,644 --> 00:31:57,251
And the worst part of all of this is
that I'm stuck here with you three.
672
00:31:57,347 --> 00:32:00,123
You, you got more issues
than a magazine stand.
673
00:32:00,217 --> 00:32:04,359
And, you, wipe the makeup off your face, Picasso.
What are you, a mob wife?
674
00:32:04,455 --> 00:32:06,628
And, you, you're the worst.
675
00:32:06,724 --> 00:32:10,137
I know you're a little kid, and I know I'm not
supposed to say this kind of stuff to you,
676
00:32:10,627 --> 00:32:12,436
but fuck you.
677
00:32:12,563 --> 00:32:14,270
Fuck you so much.
678
00:32:14,364 --> 00:32:15,536
You're a douche.
679
00:32:15,632 --> 00:32:19,239
Look, Noah, if you hate us that much,
then just drop us off with our parents.
680
00:32:19,336 --> 00:32:22,943
You know what?
That's an amazing idea. Let's go.
681
00:32:35,252 --> 00:32:38,062
I've seen the way
you look at me.
682
00:32:39,289 --> 00:32:43,203
I know the things you say
when I'm not there.
683
00:32:45,796 --> 00:32:48,902
But when you're here
alone with me.
684
00:32:50,367 --> 00:32:53,507
Baby, don't pretend
that you don't care.
685
00:32:53,604 --> 00:32:58,246
Come on, let the feeling begin.
686
00:32:58,342 --> 00:33:01,880
Come on, baby Come on, yeah.
687
00:33:04,248 --> 00:33:08,219
Don't stop when the
feeling begins.
688
00:33:10,020 --> 00:33:14,127
Come on. I've changed my mind.
I need to clean up my mess myself.
689
00:33:15,659 --> 00:33:19,300
All right, ideas, ideas,
ideas, ideas, ideas.
690
00:33:21,298 --> 00:33:22,402
Okay. Slater, can you
get off the phone?
691
00:33:22,499 --> 00:33:24,308
I need an idea. You can text
your buddy Clayton later, okay?
692
00:33:24,401 --> 00:33:25,880
Yeah, man, seriously!
693
00:33:25,969 --> 00:33:27,971
it's not Clayton.
It's those twins,
694
00:33:28,071 --> 00:33:31,575
and they want me to go to Prospect Hall
for Wendy Sapperstein's Bat Mitzvah.
695
00:33:31,675 --> 00:33:34,155
That's, like, a pretty
swanky joint, right?
696
00:33:34,278 --> 00:33:38,693
Yeah, the Sappersteins are totally
loaded and she's, like, crazy spoiled.
697
00:33:38,816 --> 00:33:39,817
Spoiled.
698
00:33:41,185 --> 00:33:43,131
So lots of gifts, lots of cash.
699
00:33:44,221 --> 00:33:47,225
Slater, you're a genius.
You're a genius, dude!
700
00:33:50,861 --> 00:33:53,171
All right, let's go,
let's go, let's go!
701
00:33:53,297 --> 00:33:55,538
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Hustle!
702
00:33:56,667 --> 00:33:59,204
All right, come on, kids.
Come on.
703
00:33:59,837 --> 00:34:01,145
All right, thank you.
704
00:34:01,238 --> 00:34:04,378
- This place looks like a party.
- Keep walking, keep walking.
705
00:34:05,576 --> 00:34:07,715
Maybe you should just
invite anyone you know,
706
00:34:07,845 --> 00:34:09,950
anyone who's ugly, because
they seem to all be here!
707
00:34:10,647 --> 00:34:13,218
That's very nice.
Is that what the rabbis taught you?
708
00:34:13,350 --> 00:34:16,058
Mom! This is my night.
It's my celebration,
709
00:34:16,186 --> 00:34:18,666
and I did not invite these
nerds to my Bat Mitzvah!
710
00:34:18,755 --> 00:34:22,066
What more can I do for you?
Rent the Taj Ma-fucking-hal for you?
711
00:34:22,159 --> 00:34:25,936
There's so much blue cheese
here, it smells like barf, Mom!
712
00:34:26,029 --> 00:34:29,010
Damn, Wendy Sapperstein's
a big ol' bitch!
713
00:34:29,099 --> 00:34:30,373
Yeah, she scares me.
714
00:34:30,500 --> 00:34:32,377
All right, guys, we're gonna
stay under the radar.
715
00:34:32,469 --> 00:34:33,914
Okay? Keep it low profile.
716
00:34:35,272 --> 00:34:38,151
Did you hear what I just said?
I said low profile! All right?
717
00:34:39,076 --> 00:34:42,216
Stop puncturing balloons!
Do you understand me?
718
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,686
Noah, Noah.
Does this place have bottle service?
719
00:34:45,782 --> 00:34:47,159
I want a Red Bull and vodka.
720
00:34:47,251 --> 00:34:49,731
No, you don't. You don't even know what that is.
It's bad for you.
721
00:34:49,820 --> 00:34:53,495
- Slater! You showed up!
- We've been looking all over for you!
722
00:34:53,590 --> 00:34:55,968
- Oh. Hey.
- We've been dancing all night.
723
00:34:56,059 --> 00:34:57,595
Yeah, this Bat
Mitzvah is the best!
724
00:34:57,728 --> 00:35:00,208
It's like Jew city out there,
and we're the fucking mayors.
725
00:35:00,297 --> 00:35:01,332
You ready to go dance?
726
00:35:01,431 --> 00:35:04,742
He's ready to go dance.
This guy was born to dance.
727
00:35:04,835 --> 00:35:06,041
- You want to come?
- Come on. Let's go.
728
00:35:06,136 --> 00:35:07,114
You big stud.
729
00:35:07,204 --> 00:35:11,346
Time to go make a Slater sandwich!
Some of that gingerbread, my man.
730
00:35:12,809 --> 00:35:15,653
No bathrooms, you understand me, Rodrigo?
No baño.
731
00:35:17,915 --> 00:35:19,758
- You're a pendejo.
- You're a puto.
732
00:35:19,850 --> 00:35:21,261
You're a puta, bitch.
733
00:35:21,351 --> 00:35:22,659
I'm gonna fuck you up, dawg!
734
00:35:41,805 --> 00:35:44,445
- Noah Griffith?
- Uh, hey.
735
00:35:44,541 --> 00:35:45,645
That's you, right?
736
00:35:45,742 --> 00:35:48,450
- Yeah. What's up? How's it going?
- It's Roxanne.
737
00:35:48,545 --> 00:35:50,889
I lived in the dorms down the
hall from you, freshman year.
738
00:35:50,981 --> 00:35:52,688
That's right.
We were in Astronomy, right?
739
00:35:52,783 --> 00:35:54,228
Yeah, I sat behind
you in Astronomy.
740
00:35:54,318 --> 00:35:56,525
We were, like, the only two
students who seemed to give a shit.
741
00:35:56,653 --> 00:35:57,757
That's right. Yeah.
742
00:35:57,854 --> 00:36:00,767
You made that scale model of
Saturn with a cantaloupe, right?
743
00:36:00,857 --> 00:36:02,598
- Oh, shit, yeah.
- That was you.
744
00:36:02,693 --> 00:36:04,331
- That thing was fresh. That was cool.
- Yeah, that was me.
745
00:36:04,461 --> 00:36:06,702
Did you know about the
geomagnetic storm tonight?
746
00:36:06,830 --> 00:36:09,868
I did. I'm gonna check it out. Are you?
I'm actually kind of excited for it.
747
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,138
Yeah. For sure.
748
00:36:11,234 --> 00:36:13,043
- Yeah, it's gonna be cool.
- Yeah, it's gonna be pretty cool.
749
00:36:13,170 --> 00:36:16,014
Stay on that dance floor!
It's time for the hora!
750
00:36:16,139 --> 00:36:17,550
- Wow!
751
00:36:17,674 --> 00:36:20,211
Hava Nagila, yeah.
You gonna go on the chair?
752
00:36:20,344 --> 00:36:21,823
- I don't think so.
- Yeah?
753
00:36:21,912 --> 00:36:23,323
No. No chair for me.
754
00:36:23,413 --> 00:36:26,019
I can't believe you're here.
Like, I haven't seen you in forever.
755
00:36:26,149 --> 00:36:28,823
Yeah, I'm actually not
in school this year.
756
00:36:28,919 --> 00:36:30,057
That sucks.
757
00:36:30,187 --> 00:36:33,498
But I'm working right
now, obviously.
758
00:36:33,590 --> 00:36:36,730
But once I get off work, I'm going to a
pool hall with some of my co-workers.
759
00:36:36,860 --> 00:36:38,464
- Would you want to come?
- Oh, cool.
760
00:36:38,562 --> 00:36:43,841
That would be great, but I'm actually
in the middle of a situation currently.
761
00:36:43,934 --> 00:36:45,675
Oh, yeah. No worries.
I just thought I'd ask.
762
00:36:45,769 --> 00:36:47,339
No. Thank you. Any other time.
763
00:36:47,738 --> 00:36:48,716
Oh, my God.
764
00:36:52,842 --> 00:36:54,253
Oh, shit.
765
00:36:54,377 --> 00:36:57,153
- It was great running into you again.
Oh, my God!
766
00:36:58,448 --> 00:37:00,086
Put your fucking dick away!
767
00:37:00,216 --> 00:37:02,059
You're getting piss all over me!
768
00:37:02,185 --> 00:37:04,426
You're getting piss
all over my feet!
769
00:37:04,554 --> 00:37:06,056
Watch out. Come on.
770
00:37:06,189 --> 00:37:08,533
- Happy birthday, Wendy!
- Maze! tov, Wendy.
771
00:37:08,625 --> 00:37:10,070
- What were you doing?
772
00:37:10,193 --> 00:37:12,867
You do not take a piss in the
middle of a party, okay?
773
00:37:13,930 --> 00:37:15,432
You don't piss in the middle
of a Bat Mitzvah, you idiot!
774
00:37:15,532 --> 00:37:16,875
Clayton?
775
00:37:16,967 --> 00:37:18,412
Oh, shit.
776
00:37:18,535 --> 00:37:21,243
What are you doing here?
What about your tarantula?
777
00:37:21,371 --> 00:37:24,215
- Oh, I got over that, man.
- It's just a spider, bro.
778
00:37:24,307 --> 00:37:26,719
Since when do you hang out
with Benji Gillespie?
779
00:37:26,810 --> 00:37:28,847
Look, I can hang out with as
many other people as I want.
780
00:37:28,945 --> 00:37:30,356
I don't think you
understand that.
781
00:37:30,447 --> 00:37:32,256
I'm getting kind of sick of going
to your house all the time
782
00:37:32,382 --> 00:37:33,793
and watching tennis.
783
00:37:33,917 --> 00:37:35,191
We do other shit.
784
00:37:35,285 --> 00:37:37,788
No, we don't!
You don't do anything!
785
00:37:37,921 --> 00:37:40,060
I can't just always
hang around you.
786
00:37:40,156 --> 00:37:42,932
I don't get why you're
being mean to me.
787
00:37:43,059 --> 00:37:44,697
He doesn't want to hang out
with you any more, bro.
788
00:37:44,794 --> 00:37:46,068
How hard is it to
understand that?
789
00:37:46,162 --> 00:37:49,974
Just stop calling and texting
him all the time. it's weird.
790
00:37:52,502 --> 00:37:53,913
Is that true?
791
00:37:54,604 --> 00:37:56,083
See you around.
792
00:37:57,607 --> 00:37:58,881
Yo.
793
00:37:59,976 --> 00:38:01,011
Hey, man. You all right?
794
00:38:01,111 --> 00:38:02,385
- Those guys fucking with you?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
795
00:38:02,479 --> 00:38:04,686
- You okay?
- Yeah, just leave me alone!
796
00:38:07,117 --> 00:38:10,189
Hi. I'm so sorry to have
to say this to you.
797
00:38:10,286 --> 00:38:12,698
It's just that I can't
seem to find your car.
798
00:38:14,789 --> 00:38:16,700
What do you mean, you
can't find my car?
799
00:38:16,992 --> 00:38:19,905
Well, I think we lost it.
800
00:38:19,995 --> 00:38:22,601
You didn't lose your Morrissey box set.
Where's my fucking car, dude?
801
00:38:23,865 --> 00:38:25,708
Did you lose it or you
taking a shit right now?
802
00:38:26,034 --> 00:38:27,035
A little of both.
803
00:38:27,135 --> 00:38:28,443
There's no "a little
bit" of taking a shit.
804
00:38:28,536 --> 00:38:29,947
You're either shitting
your pants or you're not.
805
00:38:31,806 --> 00:38:34,582
Stop crying, all right?
It's not going to solve anything.
806
00:38:34,676 --> 00:38:36,349
Let's go find this shit.
All right?
807
00:38:38,079 --> 00:38:39,080
Hey, look! There it is!
808
00:38:39,214 --> 00:38:41,660
Oh, thank God we found it.
809
00:38:41,750 --> 00:38:44,731
That's not finding it, you idiot.
Someone stole it.
810
00:38:45,186 --> 00:38:46,563
Oh, poo.
811
00:38:54,662 --> 00:38:56,073
Three thousand bucks.
812
00:38:56,164 --> 00:38:57,643
Is that good?
813
00:38:58,466 --> 00:39:02,471
No. it's not. We need 7,000 more.
And it's almost 11:00.
814
00:39:02,604 --> 00:39:05,949
Hey, Noah, I have an idea.
How about you start your own signature fragrance?
815
00:39:06,041 --> 00:39:07,247
That's a great idea!
816
00:39:07,342 --> 00:39:10,084
I'll just alert my team of scientists,
have them invent a new perfume.
817
00:39:10,178 --> 00:39:13,352
We'll start selling it and we'll have
seven grand in the next 45 minutes!
818
00:39:13,448 --> 00:39:16,657
- You're such a jerk.
- God damn it, my fucking shin.
819
00:39:16,751 --> 00:39:18,128
I'm just trying to help.
820
00:39:18,219 --> 00:39:20,392
All I know is, is I'm going
to be a famous celebrity
821
00:39:20,488 --> 00:39:22,627
who designs on the side,
and I'm going to be rich.
822
00:39:22,757 --> 00:39:24,134
What the hell are
you talking about?
823
00:39:24,225 --> 00:39:25,863
You do know that just
being a celebrity and
824
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,133
having a good time is
not a real job, right?
825
00:39:28,229 --> 00:39:31,438
Yeah, it is! Being a famous celebrity
is the greatest thing in the world!
826
00:39:31,533 --> 00:39:33,012
It means people
take your picture.
827
00:39:33,134 --> 00:39:36,206
You get to have birthday parties at the
coolest clubs and dance on tables.
828
00:39:36,304 --> 00:39:38,750
Even for a small child,
you sound like an idiot.
829
00:39:41,309 --> 00:39:42,913
What are you walking away for?
830
00:39:43,011 --> 00:39:44,820
What's your problem,
drama queen?
831
00:39:44,946 --> 00:39:47,586
My problem is that my
best friend Clayton
832
00:39:47,682 --> 00:39:49,286
doesn't want to hang
out with me any more
833
00:39:49,384 --> 00:39:50,954
because he doesn't like me back,
834
00:39:51,052 --> 00:39:54,932
and he'd rather hang out with an
asshole named Benji Gillespie.
835
00:39:55,023 --> 00:39:56,502
That is my problem!
836
00:39:56,624 --> 00:39:58,695
Okay, well...
837
00:39:58,826 --> 00:40:00,806
- You'll make another friend.
- No.
838
00:40:01,863 --> 00:40:03,536
No, I won't.
839
00:40:03,665 --> 00:40:05,667
Well, I don't know the inner
workings of your friendship,
840
00:40:05,767 --> 00:40:08,247
but if he doesn't like
you, then screw him.
841
00:40:11,806 --> 00:40:13,308
All right, train's coming!
842
00:40:13,408 --> 00:40:14,944
Let's go!
843
00:40:19,914 --> 00:40:25,193
If you only knew
what it was like.
844
00:40:25,286 --> 00:40:30,565
Hoping that you see the light.
845
00:40:30,658 --> 00:40:35,232
And you always put up a fight.
846
00:40:35,797 --> 00:40:39,335
I get last within your stare
847
00:40:42,337 --> 00:40:45,875
When we breathe the same air.
848
00:40:46,975 --> 00:40:50,548
I see you everywhere.
849
00:40:58,119 --> 00:41:02,625
Oh, if you only knew.
850
00:41:03,558 --> 00:41:04,935
Whoa.
851
00:41:07,729 --> 00:41:09,333
it's like actual China.
852
00:41:10,865 --> 00:41:13,243
Excuse me.
Is this Wing's Fish Market?
853
00:41:13,368 --> 00:41:16,372
You must be Noah Griffith.
Mr. Karl is expecting you.
854
00:41:18,306 --> 00:41:20,479
- Wait here, all right?
- So,
855
00:41:21,075 --> 00:41:23,681
- did you get my money?
- Um...
856
00:41:23,778 --> 00:41:25,883
Garv, can I get some
chili flakes, please?
857
00:41:26,381 --> 00:41:27,883
- Garv, honey.
858
00:41:27,982 --> 00:41:29,723
Look at me. Look at me!
859
00:41:29,817 --> 00:41:31,763
Yes, I have money right here.
860
00:41:31,886 --> 00:41:33,866
- Garv? Oh, boy.
- Here you go. I got it.
861
00:41:33,955 --> 00:41:35,400
Not listening.
He's got the headphones on.
862
00:41:35,490 --> 00:41:37,902
I got the cash right here for you.
Here you go.
863
00:41:38,493 --> 00:41:40,632
So how do you guys
all know each other?
864
00:41:40,762 --> 00:41:42,469
What the fuck
difference does it make?
865
00:41:42,597 --> 00:41:44,008
- We got a problem.
- What's the problem?
866
00:41:44,098 --> 00:41:46,169
My man! You got $3,000 here.
867
00:41:46,267 --> 00:41:49,146
You are short $7,000!
868
00:41:49,237 --> 00:41:50,307
Short?
869
00:41:50,405 --> 00:41:52,282
Okay, I have checks.
870
00:41:52,407 --> 00:41:53,681
- Are you kidding me?
- Checks, yes.
871
00:41:53,775 --> 00:41:55,482
Checks! What's the matter with you?
872
00:41:55,943 --> 00:41:57,752
Who the fuck is
Wendy Sapperstein?
873
00:41:57,845 --> 00:42:01,486
The Sappersteins are loaded, so they're
not gonna miss the money at all.
874
00:42:01,582 --> 00:42:04,722
Garv! Please, chili flakes!
You don't listen!
875
00:42:04,819 --> 00:42:07,800
- So you can sign the check over to yourself.
- I'll count to three.
876
00:42:07,922 --> 00:42:09,265
- One.
- Sign the checks over?
877
00:42:09,357 --> 00:42:10,768
- Two.
- Yeah, sign the checks over to yourself.
878
00:42:10,858 --> 00:42:12,303
Three. Good night.
879
00:42:15,096 --> 00:42:17,167
- Did you hear that?
- Why'd you do that?
880
00:42:17,265 --> 00:42:19,006
Drop him off at the podiatrist.
881
00:42:19,100 --> 00:42:20,238
Make his mom a mix CD
with an apology letter.
882
00:42:22,803 --> 00:42:25,409
I told you, dawg.
Now your foot match your asshole.
883
00:42:29,477 --> 00:42:30,979
- Hey!
- Hey, Karl!
884
00:42:31,078 --> 00:42:32,284
Hey, Marisa.
885
00:42:32,380 --> 00:42:34,053
- Where you at?
- I'm at a party!
886
00:42:34,148 --> 00:42:35,684
- A party?
- What?
887
00:42:35,783 --> 00:42:37,729
I'm always down to party.
888
00:42:37,818 --> 00:42:40,458
All right, text me the address.
All right, baby.
889
00:42:41,022 --> 00:42:42,524
We're gonna meet you at
this party at midnight.
890
00:42:42,623 --> 00:42:43,863
If you don't have
my seven grand,
891
00:42:43,958 --> 00:42:47,303
Julio's gonna tickle your
girlfriend's asshole with a feather.
892
00:42:48,296 --> 00:42:49,707
How'd you get that name
"The Feather" again?
893
00:42:49,797 --> 00:42:53,108
Let me tell the story, man.
My joint got a little curve to it.
894
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,612
Sol go up in there, and it
tickles the lady's asshole.
895
00:42:55,703 --> 00:42:57,546
Tickle, tickle, tickle,
tickle, tickle, tickle.
896
00:42:57,638 --> 00:43:00,050
My joint goes in and comes
out at the same time,
897
00:43:00,141 --> 00:43:01,415
you know what I'm saying?
Tickle, tickle.
898
00:43:01,509 --> 00:43:02,749
- Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
- Yeah.
899
00:43:04,745 --> 00:43:07,749
See, when I'm stoking,
I see the head,
900
00:43:07,848 --> 00:43:10,795
although I'm in it, my
head is popping out.
901
00:43:10,885 --> 00:43:12,626
Still, like that. Like a U-turn.
902
00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:15,394
My joint make a
U-turn in that ass.
903
00:43:15,489 --> 00:43:19,130
The Feather is in
effect since 1981, son.
904
00:43:21,095 --> 00:43:23,166
My joint be pop-locking
in that ass.
905
00:43:23,264 --> 00:43:26,404
It go in your ass and come out your ass, like that.
See what I'm saying?
906
00:43:26,500 --> 00:43:28,446
Come here. Give me a hug.
907
00:43:28,536 --> 00:43:30,038
- Give him a fucking hug!
- Don't be shy.
908
00:43:30,137 --> 00:43:31,980
You're so shy. Come here.
909
00:43:32,406 --> 00:43:33,510
Hug me tight.
910
00:43:33,608 --> 00:43:35,884
It's okay.
It's our little secret.
911
00:43:35,977 --> 00:43:37,979
But I want you to think
about something.
912
00:43:38,112 --> 00:43:41,389
Garv was my third best
friend in the world,
913
00:43:41,482 --> 00:43:45,225
and I shot him in the feet
for being a bad listener.
914
00:43:45,319 --> 00:43:47,731
You're my eighth best
friend in the world,
915
00:43:47,822 --> 00:43:50,393
and you stole from me.
From my home!
916
00:43:50,491 --> 00:43:52,732
You're gonna meet me at
that party at midnight.
917
00:43:53,628 --> 00:43:57,098
And if you don't get my seven grand,
let's just say it's gonna be bad.
918
00:43:57,198 --> 00:43:59,144
Real fucking bad!
919
00:44:00,267 --> 00:44:01,837
Now get out of here!
920
00:44:01,969 --> 00:44:03,004
Stop staring at me with
those gorgeous eyes.
921
00:44:04,805 --> 00:44:06,751
- All right, guys, let's go.
- Can we go home?
922
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,183
No, I have to see somebody.
923
00:44:08,308 --> 00:44:10,254
I don't want to see anybody.
Let's just go home.
924
00:44:10,343 --> 00:44:12,516
Believe me, Slater, I don't want
to see this person, either.
925
00:44:14,281 --> 00:44:15,919
God damn it.
926
00:44:16,016 --> 00:44:17,495
Hey. Beth?
927
00:44:18,785 --> 00:44:21,629
Noah. What are you doing here?
928
00:44:21,721 --> 00:44:24,201
I am babysitting these children.
929
00:44:24,324 --> 00:44:26,304
Looks like we finally have
something in common, right?
930
00:44:26,393 --> 00:44:28,805
I'm not your babysitter
any more, Noah.
931
00:44:28,895 --> 00:44:31,671
Oh, you're not. That's right!
Because you fucked my dad
932
00:44:31,798 --> 00:44:34,836
while he was still married to my
mom and ruined my life. I forgot!
933
00:44:34,968 --> 00:44:36,276
Is he home, by the way?
934
00:44:38,471 --> 00:44:40,451
Seven thousand dollars?
935
00:44:41,842 --> 00:44:42,877
Yes.
936
00:44:43,009 --> 00:44:46,183
There is no way in hell I'm
giving you seven grand, so...
937
00:44:46,580 --> 00:44:51,461
Dad, you screwed Mom and I out
of child support and alimony.
938
00:44:51,551 --> 00:44:54,327
Just do this one thing.
We'll call it even. All right?
939
00:44:54,421 --> 00:44:58,392
You know, I have to say, it is
always some justification with you.
940
00:44:58,525 --> 00:45:00,869
You are never gonna grow
up with that attitude.
941
00:45:00,994 --> 00:45:03,907
Okay, don't do that.
Don't do that. Okay?
942
00:45:04,030 --> 00:45:06,374
Don't pretend like you
care how I turn out.
943
00:45:06,499 --> 00:45:09,412
Let's be very, very
straightforward with one another.
944
00:45:09,536 --> 00:45:11,675
- Okay?
- Okay,
945
00:45:11,771 --> 00:45:14,149
I'm in a jam. Okay?
946
00:45:15,075 --> 00:45:17,180
That's why I'm here,
because I need your help.
947
00:45:17,277 --> 00:45:19,223
And I'm sorry.
948
00:45:19,346 --> 00:45:22,486
I just need you to be my dad for a day.
That's it.
949
00:45:22,582 --> 00:45:24,926
And I'm sorry. I can't help you.
950
00:45:25,051 --> 00:45:28,555
You know what, pal?
It's not my problem.
951
00:45:28,688 --> 00:45:31,692
I mean, it's really
not my problem.
952
00:45:31,791 --> 00:45:33,600
Okay.
953
00:45:34,761 --> 00:45:37,537
Daddy? Can we look at
the telescope now?
954
00:45:37,631 --> 00:45:39,042
Oh, hey, buddy.
955
00:45:39,132 --> 00:45:41,408
Of course. Excuse me a second.
956
00:45:41,534 --> 00:45:43,536
I want you to do me a favor.
957
00:45:43,637 --> 00:45:46,379
I want you to go in the kitchen
and get a little bite to eat
958
00:45:46,473 --> 00:45:48,680
for the two of us.
I'll be right in, okay?
959
00:45:49,242 --> 00:45:50,516
That a boy!
960
00:45:53,213 --> 00:45:56,626
There's a geomagnetic
storm tonight I forgot.
961
00:45:56,750 --> 00:45:58,229
I got thrown off.
962
00:45:58,318 --> 00:46:00,127
- So...
- I didn't even know.
963
00:46:00,253 --> 00:46:01,789
Yeah, I have to go.
964
00:46:06,293 --> 00:46:10,537
You smell like perfume.
You got a lot of perfume on you.
965
00:46:10,630 --> 00:46:12,940
I know. I know I do.
966
00:46:16,069 --> 00:46:17,207
Why?
967
00:46:22,809 --> 00:46:24,311
Gotcha, bitch.
968
00:46:24,444 --> 00:46:26,549
- Shotgun!
- All right, come on, let's go!
969
00:46:26,646 --> 00:46:30,389
Let's roll. Hustle.
Rodrigo, feel free to take a piss in it.
970
00:46:30,483 --> 00:46:31,985
Fancy car.
971
00:46:32,118 --> 00:46:33,825
It smells like hotdogs.
972
00:46:37,290 --> 00:46:39,236
Was that woman at the
door your babysitter?
973
00:46:39,326 --> 00:46:42,307
She was, till I found out my
dad was tipping her extra
974
00:46:42,429 --> 00:46:43,999
when he'd drive her
home at night.
975
00:46:48,702 --> 00:46:49,737
Where are we going?
976
00:46:50,537 --> 00:46:53,416
Just got to pick up something
from my dad's store real quick.
977
00:46:53,506 --> 00:46:54,780
You're breaking in?
978
00:46:56,876 --> 00:46:58,321
- Not exactly.
979
00:46:58,445 --> 00:47:01,016
Shouldn't you tell
him about this or something?
980
00:47:05,018 --> 00:47:06,053
What's wrong?
981
00:47:06,152 --> 00:47:08,530
I'm typing in the code,
and it's not working.
982
00:47:08,621 --> 00:47:10,692
- You didn't do it right!
- Yes, I did.
983
00:47:10,790 --> 00:47:11,791
- I'm doing it right.
984
00:47:11,891 --> 00:47:14,462
- Maybe your dad changed the code.
- He didn't change the code.
985
00:47:14,561 --> 00:47:16,472
Okay? The code's my birthday.
It's always been my birthday.
986
00:47:16,563 --> 00:47:17,598
He didn't change it.
987
00:47:17,697 --> 00:47:19,506
Maybe it's someone
else's birthday.
988
00:47:31,811 --> 00:47:32,846
Sorry, man.
989
00:47:39,819 --> 00:47:41,696
Let me guess what it is.
990
00:47:49,029 --> 00:47:50,565
Booyah!
991
00:47:58,271 --> 00:47:59,807
Can I tell you my gossip now?
992
00:47:59,906 --> 00:48:01,544
Oh, shit, yeah. Blithe.
993
00:48:02,742 --> 00:48:05,222
Not now. I think we should go, okay?
Let's go. We gotta go.
994
00:48:06,513 --> 00:48:09,551
I saw my daddy kissing
his assistant, Debra.
995
00:48:10,750 --> 00:48:12,957
That's why he always stays
late at the hospital,
996
00:48:13,053 --> 00:48:16,091
'cause he spends all
night kissing Debra.
997
00:48:17,957 --> 00:48:19,493
My mom knows.
998
00:48:19,592 --> 00:48:23,506
She pretends like she doesn't
know, but she knows.
999
00:48:23,596 --> 00:48:25,405
That's not gossip, Blithe.
1000
00:48:26,232 --> 00:48:27,711
You know that, right?
1001
00:48:28,234 --> 00:48:29,440
Well...
1002
00:48:29,536 --> 00:48:32,244
Sometimes people do messed-up
stuff to each other, okay?
1003
00:48:32,739 --> 00:48:33,774
Why?
1004
00:48:33,873 --> 00:48:37,343
One time I was walking down the street,
I punched my best friend Darius
1005
00:48:37,444 --> 00:48:41,290
in the nut sack for no reason.
Just both fists.
1006
00:48:41,414 --> 00:48:44,122
- Just double-punched him.
- Why would you do that?
1007
00:48:44,818 --> 00:48:45,888
I don't know.
1008
00:48:46,653 --> 00:48:48,098
You're an idiot.
1009
00:48:48,221 --> 00:48:49,962
That's probably true.
I am an idiot.
1010
00:48:50,090 --> 00:48:51,535
And so is your dad.
1011
00:48:52,058 --> 00:48:53,435
Come on.
1012
00:48:55,595 --> 00:48:56,699
Hey.
1013
00:48:57,163 --> 00:48:58,301
Where's Rodrigo?
1014
00:48:58,398 --> 00:48:59,877
He's in the bathroom.
1015
00:49:04,604 --> 00:49:06,242
Oh, no.
1016
00:49:06,339 --> 00:49:09,445
No, tell me...
Tell me you didn't.
1017
00:49:11,945 --> 00:49:13,322
Oh, shit!
1018
00:49:22,755 --> 00:49:25,258
- Why the hell did you do that, Rodrigo?
- Seriously, dude!
1019
00:49:25,358 --> 00:49:26,735
You said you didn't have
any more cherry bombs!
1020
00:49:26,826 --> 00:49:28,134
How many more do you have, huh?
1021
00:49:28,261 --> 00:49:31,071
You can't just go around blowing
up bathrooms! it's not cool!
1022
00:49:31,164 --> 00:49:32,939
Why can't you be more like
your brother and sister?
1023
00:49:33,032 --> 00:49:35,171
They're at least half crazy.
You're full-on nuts!
1024
00:49:35,835 --> 00:49:38,372
They are not my brother and sister!
They are nothing to me!
1025
00:49:38,471 --> 00:49:40,109
They are not my family!
1026
00:49:40,206 --> 00:49:43,016
She does nothing all day but paint her face
like a puta. She is a puta!
1027
00:49:43,143 --> 00:49:44,144
And this one is
sick in the head!
1028
00:49:44,244 --> 00:49:46,087
He goes to the head
doctor four times a week!
1029
00:49:48,381 --> 00:49:51,191
- Hey! Stop acting crazy, okay?
- He is the crazy one.
1030
00:49:51,317 --> 00:49:53,854
He has this medicine! He loco!
He muy loco.
1031
00:49:53,987 --> 00:49:55,625
- Hey, relax!
- Shut up!
1032
00:49:55,722 --> 00:49:57,929
You shut up with your stupid fanny pack!
I take your fanny pack!
1033
00:49:58,024 --> 00:50:00,265
No! No! No, I need that!
1034
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:03,432
Stop it! I need that!
My pills! No! No!
1035
00:50:03,530 --> 00:50:05,339
What did you do that for?
1036
00:50:05,465 --> 00:50:07,536
- Pull over! Pull over!
- Okay! Okay!
1037
00:50:07,667 --> 00:50:10,477
- Right now! Right now!
- Okay! Okay!
1038
00:50:12,472 --> 00:50:14,452
Slater! Where are you going?
1039
00:50:14,541 --> 00:50:16,316
What the fuck is
your problem, man?
1040
00:50:22,015 --> 00:50:23,221
Slater.
1041
00:50:23,349 --> 00:50:24,851
You're not going to
find it, all right?
1042
00:50:24,984 --> 00:50:28,522
- I need those pills, okay? I need them.
- No, you don't.
1043
00:50:28,655 --> 00:50:30,828
Yes, I do, okay?
I have serious issues.
1044
00:50:30,924 --> 00:50:32,267
You don't have serious issues.
1045
00:50:32,358 --> 00:50:35,396
Yes, I do! Those pills are the
only thing that keep me normal,
1046
00:50:35,495 --> 00:50:36,803
and I need them!
1047
00:50:36,896 --> 00:50:38,466
I can't do this any more.
1048
00:50:38,565 --> 00:50:41,500
Slater, you're gay, all right?
1049
00:50:41,501 --> 00:50:43,208
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1050
00:50:43,303 --> 00:50:45,943
- Nothing. Never mind.
- Take that back!
1051
00:50:46,039 --> 00:50:48,178
Take it back, Noah!
1052
00:50:49,442 --> 00:50:51,115
You're gay. All right?
1053
00:50:51,211 --> 00:50:54,317
You're as queer as a football
bat, and that's fine.
1054
00:50:54,414 --> 00:50:56,587
And if your therapist hasn't
clued you into that by now,
1055
00:50:56,683 --> 00:50:58,594
then you should ask for
your money back, pal.
1056
00:50:58,685 --> 00:51:00,824
You ever think the
reason you're so upset
1057
00:51:00,954 --> 00:51:02,956
your buddy Clayton doesn't
want to hang out any more
1058
00:51:03,056 --> 00:51:05,559
is because you have a lot
of special feelings for him
1059
00:51:05,658 --> 00:51:07,194
that maybe he doesn't feel back?
1060
00:51:07,293 --> 00:51:08,897
It breaks your heart, man.
1061
00:51:08,995 --> 00:51:10,736
And that breaks my heart.
1062
00:51:10,830 --> 00:51:12,605
'Cause I know what
that feels like.
1063
00:51:12,699 --> 00:51:14,406
I feel it all the time.
1064
00:51:14,500 --> 00:51:17,106
I don't want to be gay!
I'm not gay!
1065
00:51:17,537 --> 00:51:18,538
Tough.
1066
00:51:18,638 --> 00:51:20,515
I don't want to be a faggot!
1067
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:23,086
Hey! Do not say shit like that!
Do you understand me?
1068
00:51:23,776 --> 00:51:26,154
This is the worst
night of my life.
1069
00:51:29,282 --> 00:51:31,853
All right, high school
is going to suck.
1070
00:51:31,985 --> 00:51:35,797
Coming out to your parents, it's
not gonna be a picnic, either.
1071
00:51:35,888 --> 00:51:37,834
But trust me when I tell you
1072
00:51:37,924 --> 00:51:40,427
that when you get to
college, nobody will care.
1073
00:51:40,526 --> 00:51:43,029
And then, when you
graduate college,
1074
00:51:43,162 --> 00:51:46,109
you'll get an awesome job in
the entertainment industry.
1075
00:51:46,199 --> 00:51:50,045
You'll be super-organized and dress
really well, you'll smell good.
1076
00:51:50,136 --> 00:51:52,616
Smell good?
What are you talking about, Noah?
1077
00:51:52,705 --> 00:51:54,275
Relax. Listen to me.
1078
00:51:57,143 --> 00:51:59,851
My dad hates me. All right?
1079
00:52:01,180 --> 00:52:03,160
I got kicked out of college.
1080
00:52:05,718 --> 00:52:08,062
Before tonight, this
babysitting thing,
1081
00:52:08,187 --> 00:52:10,463
I've only ever had one job,
and I was a lifeguard.
1082
00:52:10,556 --> 00:52:15,027
I got fired after four days because
I kept falling asleep in the sun.
1083
00:52:15,495 --> 00:52:19,807
I'm a constant disappointment to my mom,
who's the only decent person in my life.
1084
00:52:19,899 --> 00:52:21,845
I've been arrested
numerous times.
1085
00:52:21,934 --> 00:52:24,881
I had a month-long, intense
addiction to Robitussin.
1086
00:52:26,172 --> 00:52:28,209
There's only one freak out here.
1087
00:52:29,075 --> 00:52:30,554
You're looking at him.
1088
00:52:31,544 --> 00:52:34,252
I've never had a gay thought in my
life, so what does that tell you?
1089
00:52:35,515 --> 00:52:37,995
That tells me you're
pretty messed up.
1090
00:52:38,084 --> 00:52:40,496
I have seen Devil Wears
Prada about 19 times,
1091
00:52:40,586 --> 00:52:42,657
but that's because
it's a good movie.
1092
00:52:42,755 --> 00:52:44,666
It's a good flick.
1093
00:52:44,757 --> 00:52:47,897
Devil Wears P. You ever seen it?
D Wears P?
1094
00:52:48,027 --> 00:52:50,439
I think, like, once.
I don't really remember it though.
1095
00:52:51,764 --> 00:52:54,938
Nothing's wrong with you.
You're normal.
1096
00:52:56,536 --> 00:52:58,743
Just super gay.
1097
00:53:01,107 --> 00:53:03,018
You're a dick.
1098
00:53:03,109 --> 00:53:06,522
Yes, that's true.
Enough of the pills, all right?
1099
00:53:08,014 --> 00:53:09,152
Okay.
1100
00:53:10,383 --> 00:53:11,794
You know,
1101
00:53:13,119 --> 00:53:16,259
deep down, I think I
always kind of knew.
1102
00:53:18,725 --> 00:53:21,604
But don't tell
anybody yet, okay?
1103
00:53:21,728 --> 00:53:23,765
I won't. I won't.
1104
00:53:25,231 --> 00:53:27,233
What do you think
I am, an asshole?
1105
00:53:28,301 --> 00:53:29,780
Yeah, sort of.
1106
00:53:29,902 --> 00:53:31,381
Come on, Ricky Martin,
let's get out of here.
1107
00:53:31,471 --> 00:53:33,041
That's an example.
1108
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:36,984
Hey, Slater, are you okay?
1109
00:53:37,110 --> 00:53:38,418
Yeah, I'm okay.
1110
00:53:38,511 --> 00:53:40,889
Hey! That's Mom's car!
1111
00:53:40,980 --> 00:53:41,981
Are you sure?
1112
00:53:43,649 --> 00:53:45,322
All right. Let's go! Let's go!
1113
00:53:45,451 --> 00:53:48,227
Rodrigo's jacket
must be in there!
1114
00:54:18,451 --> 00:54:20,260
This is my kind of club.
1115
00:54:20,353 --> 00:54:22,765
- Let's just go home.
- No.
1116
00:54:22,855 --> 00:54:24,857
All right? I have a half-hour
to get to this party,
1117
00:54:24,957 --> 00:54:28,530
pay off Karl, pick my girlfriend up
off the floor, get you kids home,
1118
00:54:28,628 --> 00:54:31,370
and be home in time for my mom to
tell me how awesome her night was.
1119
00:54:31,464 --> 00:54:35,344
I'm not gonna let some bullshit
car thief fuck this up for me.
1120
00:54:37,136 --> 00:54:38,274
Hey.
1121
00:54:38,371 --> 00:54:40,647
What's happening, my man?
How you doing, man?
1122
00:54:40,740 --> 00:54:43,448
You know, this ain't
no place for no kids.
1123
00:54:43,543 --> 00:54:45,352
These aren't kids, these
are little people.
1124
00:54:45,478 --> 00:54:47,185
This woman's 48 years old.
1125
00:54:47,313 --> 00:54:48,621
Her children have children.
1126
00:54:48,714 --> 00:54:51,388
- Hi. I'm a grandma.
- All right.
1127
00:54:51,517 --> 00:54:53,827
- What's your name, baby?
- They call me Soul, Soul Baby.
1128
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:55,831
Soul Baby?
Keep it in control, baby.
1129
00:54:55,922 --> 00:54:58,095
- I hear you, baby.
- My name's Noah J-Bird.
1130
00:54:58,191 --> 00:54:59,602
- Noah J-Bird.
1131
00:54:59,692 --> 00:55:01,365
- Oh, you like to fly.
- I fly, baby.
1132
00:55:01,494 --> 00:55:03,872
- Fly, fly, fly away, baby.
- In the clouds, no frowns.
1133
00:55:03,996 --> 00:55:05,304
All right, now, that's
what I'm talking about.
1134
00:55:05,398 --> 00:55:07,503
- Tears, no fears, man.
- Is that right?
1135
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:08,806
Respect it, don't neglect it.
1136
00:55:08,901 --> 00:55:11,643
All right. That's what I'm
talking about, baby. My brother.
1137
00:55:11,737 --> 00:55:13,341
- Treat it, don't beat it, my man.
- All right, baby.
1138
00:55:13,906 --> 00:55:15,908
You're a badass motherfucker.
1139
00:55:21,781 --> 00:55:23,556
- Hey.
1140
00:55:23,683 --> 00:55:26,323
God, man. What's up, white boy?
1141
00:55:26,419 --> 00:55:28,023
I'm here for my minivan.
What's up?
1142
00:55:28,254 --> 00:55:30,632
Get out of here.
1143
00:55:30,723 --> 00:55:33,101
What, are you stalking me now?
You're stealing my car?
1144
00:55:33,192 --> 00:55:35,172
I'm serious. Give me the keys.
1145
00:55:35,261 --> 00:55:38,037
Look, homey, we got beef.
You understand that?
1146
00:55:38,130 --> 00:55:39,336
Just give me the keys.
1147
00:55:39,432 --> 00:55:42,106
Step back, homey!
This ain't where you belong!
1148
00:55:42,201 --> 00:55:44,477
All right, you're going
to listen to me, okay?
1149
00:55:44,570 --> 00:55:47,176
You're right, I threw up in
your grandmother's ashes.
1150
00:55:47,273 --> 00:55:49,480
- Hell, yeah, you did.
- It was an accident.
1151
00:55:49,575 --> 00:55:52,920
- Fucked up.
- I apologize from the bottom of my heart.
1152
00:55:53,045 --> 00:55:55,389
I have been stuck babysitting
these three kids.
1153
00:55:55,515 --> 00:55:57,756
I was talked into buying
cocaine for my girlfriend,
1154
00:55:57,884 --> 00:56:00,125
who I realize is not
even my girlfriend.
1155
00:56:00,253 --> 00:56:04,099
She's just a girl who occasionally
lets me stick my face in her crotch
1156
00:56:04,190 --> 00:56:06,170
- and who's mean to me all the time.
- Okay?
1157
00:56:06,292 --> 00:56:10,331
And this time, making her happy
is probably gonna get me killed.
1158
00:56:10,463 --> 00:56:14,138
You're acting all gangster, stealing
cars, hanging out with thugs.
1159
00:56:14,267 --> 00:56:15,268
Well, you know what?
1160
00:56:15,368 --> 00:56:18,247
A few years ago we went to the
same lame-ass high school.
1161
00:56:18,337 --> 00:56:21,750
The point is, you and I
are two fucked-up kids
1162
00:56:21,841 --> 00:56:23,149
meeting on the playground.
1163
00:56:23,276 --> 00:56:28,282
I came here for my motherfucking
keys to my motherfucking minivan,
1164
00:56:28,381 --> 00:56:29,792
and that's what's up!
1165
00:56:34,020 --> 00:56:35,658
Is that supposed to be
a threat, little man?
1166
00:56:35,788 --> 00:56:36,926
I ain't giving you shit.
1167
00:56:37,023 --> 00:56:38,127
It's not a threat.
1168
00:56:38,224 --> 00:56:40,602
I'm going to put both my
hands behind my back,
1169
00:56:40,693 --> 00:56:43,173
and you get one punch to my
face as hard as you want.
1170
00:56:43,296 --> 00:56:46,505
- I can punch you in the face?
- You deserve to punch me in the face.
1171
00:56:46,632 --> 00:56:48,373
Go on, baby.
Punch him in the face.
1172
00:56:48,501 --> 00:56:50,276
My face is
ready to receive you.
1173
00:56:51,137 --> 00:56:52,775
- Noah, don't!
- What?
1174
00:56:52,939 --> 00:56:55,010
Oh!
1175
00:56:55,308 --> 00:56:56,309
Bitch.
1176
00:56:57,076 --> 00:57:00,023
- Noah!
- I fucking love you right now.
1177
00:57:01,047 --> 00:57:03,459
You killed my babysitter!
1178
00:57:03,549 --> 00:57:04,721
Noah?
1179
00:57:06,118 --> 00:57:07,825
That was bad.
1180
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:09,194
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
1181
00:57:10,489 --> 00:57:12,560
Oh, shit. I'm all right!
1182
00:57:13,826 --> 00:57:15,806
- I'm okay!
1183
00:57:15,895 --> 00:57:17,374
I'm okay!
1184
00:57:17,496 --> 00:57:18,873
She won this round, right?
1185
00:57:18,998 --> 00:57:20,375
Oh, shit.
1186
00:57:20,499 --> 00:57:22,979
She punched my face, but it's cool!
It's all good.
1187
00:57:24,837 --> 00:57:26,214
Looks like we're even.
1188
00:57:31,077 --> 00:57:34,058
Guess you ain't the little pussy
you used to be. Huh, Noah?
1189
00:57:34,180 --> 00:57:36,660
Nope, I'm a whole
different pussy now.
1190
00:57:36,749 --> 00:57:38,729
All right, boy. Respect.
1191
00:57:40,252 --> 00:57:42,755
Unlock it. What's inside?
1192
00:57:42,888 --> 00:57:44,526
Oh, shit, it's a bomb.
1193
00:57:45,925 --> 00:57:48,235
Hell, yeah. I feel that.
1194
00:57:48,361 --> 00:57:50,898
Let that debris fall
across your face, girl.
1195
00:57:51,464 --> 00:57:52,875
Look here, little homey.
1196
00:57:53,432 --> 00:57:55,002
I like your style, you dig?
1197
00:57:55,101 --> 00:57:56,171
I appreciate that. Thank you.
1198
00:57:56,268 --> 00:57:58,077
You stand up for yours,
and I can respect that.
1199
00:57:58,204 --> 00:58:03,017
If we ever need a crazy-ass white
boy to roll with us one day
1200
00:58:03,109 --> 00:58:07,580
and get punched in the face by
motherfuckers, I'm-a call you.
1201
00:58:07,713 --> 00:58:10,626
- Know what I mean?
- Yeah, man.
1202
00:58:10,750 --> 00:58:14,027
Yo, listen. Listen.
Let me holler at you for a second.
1203
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:15,463
I just wanna let you know,
1204
00:58:15,588 --> 00:58:18,034
I just want to throw a monster
shout-out back at you, my man.
1205
00:58:18,124 --> 00:58:19,899
Monster shout-out
back at me, right?
1206
00:58:19,992 --> 00:58:22,871
I don't understand what the fuck
that is, but it sound good, though.
1207
00:58:22,962 --> 00:58:24,464
- It's all good, baby.
- All right, brother.
1208
00:58:24,597 --> 00:58:26,440
Peace to you.
I fucking love you, dawg.
1209
00:58:28,768 --> 00:58:30,406
Noah, are you all right?
1210
00:58:31,070 --> 00:58:33,209
I feel
so cool right now.
1211
00:58:35,307 --> 00:58:36,377
This place is cool.
1212
00:58:36,475 --> 00:58:39,786
I honestly might start DJ-ing here.
I don't know.
1213
00:58:39,912 --> 00:58:40,982
Okay, that's all right,
1214
00:58:41,113 --> 00:58:43,957
but do you really think that this is
an appropriate place to bring kids?
1215
00:58:44,083 --> 00:58:47,462
I don't know. Look, Rodrigo's over
there chatting up some prostitutes.
1216
00:58:47,586 --> 00:58:51,227
You got Slater schooling Bell
Biv DeVoe over there in pool.
1217
00:58:51,323 --> 00:58:54,497
And Blithe's doing the Riverdance
over in the bowling alley.
1218
00:58:54,593 --> 00:58:57,005
Honestly, this is the first time I've
seen them having any kind of fun,
1219
00:58:57,096 --> 00:58:59,303
so what the hell?
1220
00:59:03,869 --> 00:59:05,439
You know what that is?
1221
00:59:05,538 --> 00:59:07,176
What is that?
1222
00:59:07,273 --> 00:59:09,116
Just me being cool.
Playing it cool.
1223
00:59:10,176 --> 00:59:12,019
No big deal.
1224
00:59:12,144 --> 00:59:13,179
You're crazy.
1225
00:59:13,279 --> 00:59:15,384
You're crazy slash beautiful.
Whatever.
1226
00:59:20,853 --> 00:59:23,026
So, did you drive here?
1227
00:59:23,155 --> 00:59:24,498
No, I took a cab.
1228
00:59:24,623 --> 00:59:26,102
Maybe you should
take my dad's car,
1229
00:59:26,192 --> 00:59:28,365
because I can't drive
both of them anyways.
1230
00:59:28,461 --> 00:59:29,997
Are you serious?
1231
00:59:30,096 --> 00:59:32,076
Yeah, it'd actually
really help me out.
1232
00:59:32,164 --> 00:59:33,837
Okay. How are you gonna find me?
1233
00:59:33,933 --> 00:59:35,503
Do you have a phone?
1234
00:59:38,202 --> 00:59:39,704
Okay. See you.
1235
00:59:39,804 --> 00:59:42,284
- Yeah.
- Just kidding.
1236
00:59:42,373 --> 00:59:45,877
Here, this is my phone number,
and then you can call me.
1237
00:59:46,010 --> 00:59:47,717
Okay.
1238
00:59:48,646 --> 00:59:50,353
I'll call you.
1239
00:59:51,182 --> 00:59:52,559
Hey.
1240
00:59:52,684 --> 00:59:56,154
Why did you say something to me when
you saw me earlier? I feel like
1241
00:59:56,254 --> 00:59:58,632
you kind of ignored
me all freshman year.
1242
01:00:00,224 --> 01:00:04,536
I don't know. I thought you
were really funny and smart
1243
01:00:04,662 --> 01:00:06,232
and seemed really sweet.
1244
01:00:07,332 --> 01:00:10,211
I guess I was kind of nervous
to talk to you back then.
1245
01:00:11,569 --> 01:00:13,981
You were nervous to talk to me?
1246
01:00:14,505 --> 01:00:16,041
Yeah.
1247
01:00:18,343 --> 01:00:19,981
My phone's ringing.
1248
01:00:20,912 --> 01:00:23,518
Shit, it's my girlfriend.
I'm sorry. I have to take this.
1249
01:00:23,614 --> 01:00:25,025
- Girlfriend.
- Yeah.
1250
01:00:26,050 --> 01:00:27,085
Hello?
1251
01:00:27,852 --> 01:00:29,854
All right. See you later.
1252
01:00:29,954 --> 01:00:30,932
Call me about the car.
1253
01:00:31,389 --> 01:00:32,834
- Yeah.
- Noah.
1254
01:00:32,924 --> 01:00:34,904
Listen to me.
You need to leave that party right now.
1255
01:00:35,026 --> 01:00:38,064
Noah, this party is breathtaking,
so I'm not gonna leave it.
1256
01:00:38,196 --> 01:00:39,903
Breathtaking?
Marisa, listen to me.
1257
01:00:40,031 --> 01:00:44,207
You need to listen to me.
You have been jerking me around all night.
1258
01:00:44,302 --> 01:00:47,749
And you wanna know what?
It's disrespectful and it's lame.
1259
01:00:47,872 --> 01:00:50,352
Just, if Karl and Julio show
up, stay away from them.
1260
01:00:50,441 --> 01:00:51,442
They're dangerous.
1261
01:00:51,542 --> 01:00:53,351
They're not dangerous.
You're being an idiot.
1262
01:00:53,444 --> 01:00:56,118
I'm very close.
I'm coming for you, Marisa, okay?
1263
01:00:56,247 --> 01:00:57,419
Oka y.
1264
01:01:00,284 --> 01:01:02,059
Oh, shit.
1265
01:01:05,590 --> 01:01:07,467
I can't decide if
this is funny or not.
1266
01:01:07,558 --> 01:01:09,333
it's not funny at all.
1267
01:01:09,460 --> 01:01:10,837
How you doing tonight, my man?
1268
01:01:11,262 --> 01:01:12,798
Do you have any idea
why I stopped you?
1269
01:01:12,930 --> 01:01:14,273
- No.
- You ran a red light
1270
01:01:14,365 --> 01:01:16,140
and you're not wearing
your seat belt.
1271
01:01:16,234 --> 01:01:18,646
All right, why don't you
step out of the car, pal?
1272
01:01:19,504 --> 01:01:20,642
Do me a favor.
Put your hands on the trunk.
1273
01:01:20,738 --> 01:01:21,978
Easy, cowboy.
1274
01:01:22,073 --> 01:01:23,211
What's this?
1275
01:01:23,307 --> 01:01:25,981
- It's a luchador action figure.
- Luchadors, I love these guys.
1276
01:01:26,110 --> 01:01:27,316
Look at this.
1277
01:01:27,412 --> 01:01:28,948
Frank, what's in there?
1278
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:30,852
What's this, my man?
1279
01:01:32,016 --> 01:01:33,086
You got a little party
in your pocket?
1280
01:01:33,184 --> 01:01:37,098
It's not mine, I swear to God.
I'm just holding it for my girlfriend.
1281
01:01:37,188 --> 01:01:39,327
- I'm just holding it for her.
- You're going out with a cokehead?
1282
01:01:39,424 --> 01:01:41,404
Bag of fucking actual
diamonds here.
1283
01:01:41,492 --> 01:01:44,666
Oh. Okay. Jacob the Jeweler.
You're tits in a ditch, my man.
1284
01:01:44,796 --> 01:01:46,673
- Tits in a ditch.
- Is that good?
1285
01:01:46,798 --> 01:01:49,074
Sometimes it's good.
Sometimes it's real bad.
1286
01:01:49,167 --> 01:01:52,080
What is that? Oh, no shit!
1287
01:01:52,170 --> 01:01:53,843
- Is that you?
- That's the fucking bathroom guy!
1288
01:01:53,971 --> 01:01:55,882
- Mr. Toilet Explosion?
- That's not me.
1289
01:01:55,973 --> 01:01:59,785
I've never actually been the guy on duty
to catch the fucking guy in the sketch.
1290
01:01:59,877 --> 01:02:01,185
What are they doing to him?
1291
01:02:01,279 --> 01:02:03,156
- Do me a favor. You got this?
- Yeah.
1292
01:02:06,184 --> 01:02:08,027
- You got it?
- Yeah. I like that.
1293
01:02:08,152 --> 01:02:09,961
- That's one for your wallet.
- Check it out! Check it out!
1294
01:02:10,054 --> 01:02:11,294
- It's great.
- All right, sir, do me a favor,
1295
01:02:11,389 --> 01:02:12,424
go stand by your vehicle.
1296
01:02:12,523 --> 01:02:14,298
We're going to run your profile.
All right?
1297
01:02:14,392 --> 01:02:16,998
This is mine.
I'm gonna take responsibility...
1298
01:02:17,128 --> 01:02:19,768
Sir! Go stand by your vehicle.
Please.
1299
01:02:22,700 --> 01:02:24,304
Hey, so here's the deal.
1300
01:02:24,402 --> 01:02:26,109
I think I'm about
to get arrested.
1301
01:02:26,204 --> 01:02:28,707
I messed up and I put
your lives in danger.
1302
01:02:28,807 --> 01:02:29,785
You's got the diamonds?
1303
01:02:29,874 --> 01:02:30,909
Things just got out
of hand so quickly...
1304
01:02:32,077 --> 01:02:34,318
- Let's party!
- ...and I'm really, really sorry.
1305
01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:37,188
Whoa. Are they leaving?
1306
01:02:37,315 --> 01:02:39,454
Hey! What are you doing? Stop!
1307
01:02:39,551 --> 01:02:41,724
Please! I need those diamonds!
Come back!
1308
01:02:41,853 --> 01:02:43,730
Damn it!
1309
01:03:03,741 --> 01:03:06,153
All right, I'm going to
go find my girlfriend.
1310
01:03:06,244 --> 01:03:07,985
Marisa!
1311
01:03:09,747 --> 01:03:11,055
Marisa!
1312
01:03:13,785 --> 01:03:15,560
Stephanie, have you seen Marisa?
1313
01:03:15,653 --> 01:03:18,566
I don't know, it's my birthday!
1314
01:03:18,656 --> 01:03:19,760
Why are you upside down?
1315
01:03:19,858 --> 01:03:22,429
- Why aren't you upside down?
- Okay.
1316
01:03:22,527 --> 01:03:23,562
Take care of yourself.
1317
01:03:23,661 --> 01:03:25,641
You're not invited any more.
1318
01:03:27,665 --> 01:03:29,076
G-Bert, sorry to interrupt, man.
1319
01:03:29,701 --> 01:03:31,044
What's up, Noah?
1320
01:03:31,136 --> 01:03:32,547
Have you seen Marisa?
1321
01:03:32,637 --> 01:03:33,945
- Who's Marisa?
- She's my girlfriend.
1322
01:03:34,038 --> 01:03:35,449
She's like my height,
blonde hair.
1323
01:03:36,641 --> 01:03:38,245
- No, sorry.
- No.
1324
01:03:38,343 --> 01:03:40,619
If I find her, we should all
hang out next week or something.
1325
01:03:40,712 --> 01:03:41,747
Totally, yeah.
1326
01:03:41,846 --> 01:03:42,950
Yeah, great.
You have great breasts. Thanks.
1327
01:03:43,047 --> 01:03:44,253
- Thank you.
- Later, Noah.
1328
01:03:47,919 --> 01:03:49,592
- What are you doing?
- Fuck you.
1329
01:03:51,089 --> 01:03:53,160
Why are you such an
asshole, Rodrigo?
1330
01:03:54,792 --> 01:03:58,535
Ever since you moved in with us,
you've been so mean to everybody!
1331
01:03:58,630 --> 01:04:00,906
- What's wrong with you?
- You want to know what's wrong with me?
1332
01:04:02,699 --> 01:04:03,973
This is my third
family in three years.
1333
01:04:04,100 --> 01:04:07,047
When your papas get tired with me,
they give me to another families.
1334
01:04:07,136 --> 01:04:08,410
That happens every time.
1335
01:04:08,504 --> 01:04:11,485
Well, maybe if you didn't
do such messed-up stuff
1336
01:04:11,607 --> 01:04:14,816
then they would actually feel
like you wanted to be here.
1337
01:04:14,944 --> 01:04:18,255
You don't know me. You look at me
like a crazy that live in your house.
1338
01:04:18,347 --> 01:04:20,827
That's not true.
You never talk to us.
1339
01:04:20,950 --> 01:04:24,124
Honestly, you're
pretty scary, man.
1340
01:04:25,855 --> 01:04:28,597
I no scary.
I just like having fun.
1341
01:04:28,758 --> 01:04:30,533
Boom, boom, boom. Kaboom.
1342
01:04:30,626 --> 01:04:32,936
Hey, guys, I can't find Marisa anywhere.
Let's go.
1343
01:04:33,229 --> 01:04:34,708
Come on. Where's Blithe?
1344
01:04:37,467 --> 01:04:39,276
Blithe, get down from there.
We have to go.
1345
01:04:39,368 --> 01:04:41,439
These are my friends!
Come on, we're having fun.
1346
01:04:41,537 --> 01:04:42,743
No. They're not your friends.
1347
01:04:42,839 --> 01:04:44,716
They're drunk and they're
making fun of you, okay?
1348
01:04:44,807 --> 01:04:46,718
- You need to get down here right now.
- What are you doing?
1349
01:04:46,809 --> 01:04:49,449
- Listen, they're drunk. Let's go.
- Come up here!
1350
01:04:49,545 --> 01:04:51,786
- They just want to dance with me!
- They don't want to dance...
1351
01:04:51,881 --> 01:04:53,656
Oh! You're here!
1352
01:04:53,750 --> 01:04:56,731
Where have you been?
This has been the best night ever.
1353
01:04:57,720 --> 01:04:59,495
- Are those kids?
- Yeah. They're with me.
1354
01:04:59,622 --> 01:05:00,930
I'll explain.
We need to get out of here right now.
1355
01:05:01,023 --> 01:05:02,798
Did you get the party favors?
1356
01:05:02,892 --> 01:05:06,533
I had them and now I don't. I'll explain.
We need to get out of here right now.
1357
01:05:06,629 --> 01:05:08,575
- I'm serious.
it's Ricky.
1358
01:05:08,664 --> 01:05:09,699
We don't have time for this.
1359
01:05:09,799 --> 01:05:11,608
That is Ricky Fontaine.
He is my ex-boyfriend.
1360
01:05:11,701 --> 01:05:13,305
I obviously have to go say hi.
1361
01:05:13,402 --> 01:05:15,712
- Ricky!
- You're drunk, Marisa.
1362
01:05:16,139 --> 01:05:18,642
- Hey.
- Marisa.
1363
01:05:18,741 --> 01:05:20,015
What's up? How are you?
1364
01:05:20,109 --> 01:05:23,249
You haven't responded to any of my
texts in, like, a really long time.
1365
01:05:23,346 --> 01:05:25,326
Yeah. There's a reason for that.
1366
01:05:25,414 --> 01:05:29,328
Marisa, I'm sorry.
I don't know how else I can say it.
1367
01:05:29,418 --> 01:05:32,160
We had a great run,
but it's over now,
1368
01:05:32,255 --> 01:05:34,565
and I wish you the best
and I pray for you, I do.
1369
01:05:35,057 --> 01:05:36,434
Is everything okay?
1370
01:05:36,926 --> 01:05:40,237
Actually, no.
Ricky's being kind of a dick.
1371
01:05:40,363 --> 01:05:42,502
- Why don't you defend me, Noah?
- What?
1372
01:05:42,598 --> 01:05:44,544
Yeah. You're being a real dick!
1373
01:05:44,634 --> 01:05:46,238
Defend me! You're being mean!
1374
01:05:46,369 --> 01:05:48,542
What are you talking about?
I've been nothing but cool to you, man.
1375
01:05:48,638 --> 01:05:50,117
Okay. She's drunk.
1376
01:05:50,239 --> 01:05:52,845
There's a misunderstanding happening.
Why don't we all just relax?
1377
01:05:54,243 --> 01:05:56,086
No offense, bro,
but who are you?
1378
01:05:56,212 --> 01:05:58,886
- I'm Noah. We're dating.
- He's my friend.
1379
01:05:58,981 --> 01:06:00,756
We're in a relationship, okay?
1380
01:06:00,883 --> 01:06:02,885
Friendship relationship.
1381
01:06:02,985 --> 01:06:04,055
Well, good luck with that, bro,
1382
01:06:04,153 --> 01:06:06,292
'cause dealing with her is
a pretty big nightmare.
1383
01:06:06,389 --> 01:06:07,868
I don't envy you.
1384
01:06:07,957 --> 01:06:10,904
That is a terrible thing
to say to somebody!
1385
01:06:11,561 --> 01:06:12,562
What?
1386
01:06:12,662 --> 01:06:16,109
Look, you hurt her feelings.
Okay? Just be nice.
1387
01:06:16,232 --> 01:06:18,109
What are you going
to do about it, bro?
1388
01:06:18,935 --> 01:06:20,312
What?
1389
01:06:23,339 --> 01:06:24,374
What the hell was that?
1390
01:06:24,473 --> 01:06:27,943
A throat jab? I don't know.
I don't street-fight very often.
1391
01:06:30,012 --> 01:06:31,423
Shit!
1392
01:06:31,981 --> 01:06:33,756
I broke my ass!
1393
01:06:33,850 --> 01:06:36,296
You just got Fontained!
1394
01:06:36,986 --> 01:06:38,294
Are you okay, Noah?
1395
01:06:38,421 --> 01:06:39,798
Yeah.
1396
01:06:39,922 --> 01:06:42,732
Get out of here. I got it.
I got this guy.
1397
01:06:42,825 --> 01:06:44,566
Right here. Right here.
1398
01:06:47,430 --> 01:06:48,841
- Noah!
1399
01:06:48,931 --> 01:06:50,672
Oh, that's bad! Oh, my back!
1400
01:06:50,766 --> 01:06:51,836
What do we do?
1401
01:06:51,934 --> 01:06:53,914
Rodrigo! Flying Burrito!
1402
01:06:57,173 --> 01:06:59,016
Jesus! My ear!
1403
01:06:59,141 --> 01:07:00,677
Did I get him good?
1404
01:07:00,810 --> 01:07:02,448
Get off!
1405
01:07:02,545 --> 01:07:03,580
Hey. Ricky!
1406
01:07:07,149 --> 01:07:08,890
Double punch to the nut sack!
1407
01:07:10,686 --> 01:07:12,666
Come on, Blithe!
We gotta get out of here!
1408
01:07:14,056 --> 01:07:15,626
- Ricky? Are you okay?
- Listen, we gotta go right now.
1409
01:07:15,725 --> 01:07:17,295
Where's the party?
I love parties.
1410
01:07:17,393 --> 01:07:19,373
- Oh, shit! We gotta go right now!
- Hey, what's up, party animal?
1411
01:07:19,462 --> 01:07:20,907
How you doing? Hey, man...
1412
01:07:22,131 --> 01:07:23,303
- Karl!
1413
01:07:27,670 --> 01:07:29,047
Come on, come on.
1414
01:07:29,138 --> 01:07:31,049
Who wants to party?
1415
01:07:31,507 --> 01:07:34,351
Anybody want to party?
Let's party!
1416
01:07:35,978 --> 01:07:38,515
Back it up! Back it up!
1417
01:07:39,649 --> 01:07:40,889
What's up?
1418
01:07:40,983 --> 01:07:42,985
- Nobody wanna dance with me!
- Let's party!
1419
01:07:46,722 --> 01:07:49,225
Come on, you got it.
Let's go. You got it.
1420
01:07:49,325 --> 01:07:50,702
I can't believe you're
making me do this.
1421
01:07:52,561 --> 01:07:54,404
- Where are the kids?
- Who cares? Let's just go.
1422
01:07:54,497 --> 01:07:57,205
Please, I just want to go home with you.
I just want to get out of here.
1423
01:07:57,333 --> 01:07:59,643
What are you talking about?
They're my responsibility.
1424
01:07:59,735 --> 01:08:01,840
Who cares?
I just want to get out of here!
1425
01:08:01,938 --> 01:08:03,349
I care.
1426
01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:07,380
- Hi.
- What the fuck? Hey, come on.
1427
01:08:07,510 --> 01:08:09,148
Come here!
1428
01:08:09,245 --> 01:08:11,521
Go, go, go, go, go! Move!
1429
01:08:11,614 --> 01:08:14,424
- How'd you learn to hot-wire a car?
- I know many things.
1430
01:08:14,550 --> 01:08:16,188
What is with all these kids?
1431
01:08:19,555 --> 01:08:21,228
What is that?
1432
01:08:21,357 --> 01:08:22,734
it's Karl's gang.
1433
01:08:23,926 --> 01:08:26,167
Go! They gonna kill us!
1434
01:08:26,262 --> 01:08:27,639
Oh, my God!
1435
01:08:27,730 --> 01:08:29,209
Oh. my God!
1436
01:08:30,599 --> 01:08:31,942
Get off the car!
1437
01:08:32,068 --> 01:08:34,674
Oh, my God!
Is that a man or a woman?
1438
01:08:34,770 --> 01:08:36,511
- Go, Noah!
- Fucking drive, Noah!
1439
01:08:36,605 --> 01:08:38,209
Push the gas!
1440
01:08:49,318 --> 01:08:50,592
What the hell is going on?
1441
01:08:50,720 --> 01:08:53,132
Next time, you use a bazooka
instead of a sledgehammer.
1442
01:08:53,255 --> 01:08:54,529
What are you, El DeBarge?
1443
01:08:54,623 --> 01:08:56,569
Let's go, come on, Jeremy!
1444
01:08:56,692 --> 01:08:58,171
- What the hell is this?
- Get out of the way!
1445
01:08:59,362 --> 01:09:02,206
Is there anyone in this car who can
tell me what the hell is going on here?
1446
01:09:02,298 --> 01:09:03,470
Noah, they're coming!
1447
01:09:03,566 --> 01:09:05,204
Gonna kill yo
ass, Noah Griffith!
1448
01:09:05,301 --> 01:09:08,282
- Coming to get you! Catch up!
- Fucking die! You die!
1449
01:09:08,404 --> 01:09:09,974
All right, kids, fasten
your seat belts!
1450
01:09:16,412 --> 01:09:17,413
They're going to kill us!
1451
01:09:21,617 --> 01:09:22,652
Watch this. Watch this.
1452
01:09:25,421 --> 01:09:26,491
ls everyone okay?
1453
01:09:26,622 --> 01:09:28,101
I'm scared, Noah!
1454
01:09:28,190 --> 01:09:29,931
Noah, stall them!
I have an idea!
1455
01:09:30,026 --> 01:09:31,437
Roll down the window!
1456
01:09:31,527 --> 01:09:34,474
I have your money!
I just want to be your friend!
1457
01:09:34,597 --> 01:09:37,806
Are you serious? You've been really
wishy-washy about the whole thing.
1458
01:09:37,933 --> 01:09:40,140
No, I know! I've been going through
my own personal situation!
1459
01:09:40,269 --> 01:09:42,681
It's really scary entering
into a new friendship!
1460
01:09:42,805 --> 01:09:44,512
I just don't want to deal
with a broken heart.
1461
01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:46,847
Maybe I don't want to befriends!
How's that?
1462
01:09:46,976 --> 01:09:49,286
He really wants to be
your friend, Karl!
1463
01:09:49,378 --> 01:09:51,517
it's just I've been
burned in the past, bud!
1464
01:09:51,647 --> 01:09:53,490
Seriously? Kaboom!
1465
01:09:53,616 --> 01:09:54,651
Oh, shit!
1466
01:09:58,654 --> 01:10:00,327
Shit!
Hold the wheel straight!
1467
01:10:01,957 --> 01:10:03,265
- Wait, wait!
1468
01:10:03,926 --> 01:10:05,098
Oh, shit!
1469
01:10:07,696 --> 01:10:09,676
Yes! Nice!
1470
01:10:10,633 --> 01:10:12,613
Whoa! Shit!
1471
01:10:18,307 --> 01:10:19,308
Are you guys okay?
1472
01:10:19,408 --> 01:10:21,854
No. I'm not okay.
We just crashed the car.
1473
01:10:22,044 --> 01:10:23,523
What just happened?
1474
01:10:23,646 --> 01:10:25,785
Wait, so did you get the coke?
1475
01:10:26,382 --> 01:10:28,885
Kids, kids, kids.
I love kids.
1476
01:10:29,018 --> 01:10:30,520
How you doing, Noah Griffith?
1477
01:10:30,653 --> 01:10:32,496
Hey, Karl, why you got
to be so crazy, man?
1478
01:10:32,588 --> 01:10:33,794
Hey, man, I'm crazy.
1479
01:10:33,889 --> 01:10:35,061
That's a gun.
1480
01:10:35,157 --> 01:10:37,535
Marisa, why don't you do me a favor?
Take these kids and go home.
1481
01:10:37,626 --> 01:10:39,970
I'm going to have an adult
conversation with the babysitter.
1482
01:10:40,062 --> 01:10:42,508
Look, I know you guys want to
stay with me, it's your instinct,
1483
01:10:42,598 --> 01:10:46,341
but you have to
fend for yourself.
1484
01:10:48,571 --> 01:10:50,517
Oh, you're all
alone now, huh?
1485
01:10:52,108 --> 01:10:53,246
Hurts, don't it?
1486
01:10:53,342 --> 01:10:55,754
Yeah.
I got a little boo-boo myself.
1487
01:10:59,582 --> 01:11:01,357
- You're mean!
- Noah Griffith!
1488
01:11:04,920 --> 01:11:07,901
You got mud in my
gun, Noah Griffith!
1489
01:11:08,023 --> 01:11:10,765
My 11th best friend
gave me this gun!
1490
01:11:11,427 --> 01:11:13,373
Marisa, wait! Did you hear that?
1491
01:11:14,763 --> 01:11:16,709
No, I didn't hear anything.
1492
01:11:16,799 --> 01:11:18,836
It's your very childlike
and vivid imagination.
1493
01:11:18,934 --> 01:11:21,175
- Noah might be hurt!
- That's a pistols.
1494
01:11:21,270 --> 01:11:22,408
What if he needs us?
1495
01:11:22,538 --> 01:11:25,280
He's not in trouble.
He's hugging it out with Karl in the minivan.
1496
01:11:39,755 --> 01:11:43,828
I just need to get out of here.
Thanks to you guys, my night is ruined!
1497
01:11:43,926 --> 01:11:46,566
I was having a really fun night
before you showed up! Taxi!
1498
01:11:46,662 --> 01:11:48,073
We were supposed to
have a fun night, too!
1499
01:11:48,164 --> 01:11:50,667
You are the reason that we
are even in this situation!
1500
01:11:50,766 --> 01:11:53,474
Okay, fine!
I'm a terrible person.
1501
01:11:53,569 --> 01:11:55,981
Okay? I admit it, I could be a
lot better in this situation,
1502
01:11:56,071 --> 01:11:59,280
but I'm just feeling really overwhelmed.
I don't know what's going on.
1503
01:11:59,375 --> 01:12:02,356
I'm stuck with these three
kids and I hate kids,
1504
01:12:02,444 --> 01:12:04,253
and I just don't
know what to do!
1505
01:12:04,346 --> 01:12:06,622
Marisa? Stop being such a spaz.
1506
01:12:06,749 --> 01:12:09,059
Give me your phone.
I've got an idea.
1507
01:12:09,151 --> 01:12:10,721
Noah Griffith!
1508
01:12:10,819 --> 01:12:13,823
Yes! Where you at, babycakes?
1509
01:12:14,657 --> 01:12:16,227
Where you at?
1510
01:12:16,659 --> 01:12:18,570
I see you, Noah Griffith.
1511
01:12:19,828 --> 01:12:21,000
Yes!
1512
01:12:23,032 --> 01:12:24,409
Noah Griffith?
1513
01:12:25,334 --> 01:12:27,109
Good game!
1514
01:12:27,436 --> 01:12:31,942
You passed the test!
Passed the prank! Passed the car chase.
1515
01:12:32,041 --> 01:12:33,520
You're in the club, player!
1516
01:12:34,510 --> 01:12:36,649
Surprise!
1517
01:12:36,779 --> 01:12:39,658
- Stay back! Back up!
- Whoa! Okay. Chill out.
1518
01:12:39,782 --> 01:12:42,262
Listen to me.
I don't have your money.
1519
01:12:42,351 --> 01:12:45,264
And I'm going to stop risking
my life to get it for you.
1520
01:12:45,354 --> 01:12:49,200
Rodrigo took an egg from your house.
It exploded, it's gone, I'm sorry.
1521
01:12:49,325 --> 01:12:50,963
What do you think
this is, a game?
1522
01:12:51,060 --> 01:12:53,939
You don't fuck with a drug dealer.
Are you out of your mind?
1523
01:12:54,029 --> 01:12:55,770
You owe me money!
1524
01:12:55,864 --> 01:12:57,537
I got a call from a little lady
1525
01:12:57,666 --> 01:13:00,010
said there was some trouble
brewing in the park tonight.
1526
01:13:00,135 --> 01:13:01,273
Lookit here.
1527
01:13:01,370 --> 01:13:02,974
Oh, shit.
1528
01:13:03,072 --> 01:13:05,712
What's going down on the playground?
What up, Noah?
1529
01:13:05,841 --> 01:13:07,218
What are you guys doing here?
1530
01:13:07,343 --> 01:13:10,449
Told you, we'd be around.
What y'all up to?
1531
01:13:10,546 --> 01:13:12,685
This guy, he's crazy.
He's trying to kill me!
1532
01:13:12,815 --> 01:13:14,226
He's trying to kill the
kids I'm babysitting.
1533
01:13:14,350 --> 01:13:15,852
He's nuts! He's out of his mind.
1534
01:13:15,985 --> 01:13:17,521
- Who? This stinky bitch?
- Yes.
1535
01:13:17,653 --> 01:13:21,157
Let me find out you out here
trying to punk on our boy Noah?
1536
01:13:21,257 --> 01:13:24,864
Fuck is wrong with you?
You don't know who you're messing with.
1537
01:13:24,994 --> 01:13:28,407
- He's one misunderstood motherfucker.
- Sure you right.
1538
01:13:28,530 --> 01:13:30,532
But I got your back now, Noah.
1539
01:13:30,666 --> 01:13:33,340
'Cause I found out you got
some big-ass balls, man.
1540
01:13:33,802 --> 01:13:35,941
Can't buy underwear.
Balls don't fit.
1541
01:13:36,038 --> 01:13:38,143
You done messed with
the wrong babysitter.
1542
01:13:38,240 --> 01:13:40,720
You so sexy when
you talk gangsta.
1543
01:13:41,410 --> 01:13:42,980
Look here, Noah.
1544
01:13:43,078 --> 01:13:45,217
Why don't you take
them little kids home?
1545
01:13:45,347 --> 01:13:47,554
We gonna handle this
situation here.
1546
01:13:47,683 --> 01:13:51,426
Thank you, guys, so much.
Soul Baby, text you.
1547
01:13:51,553 --> 01:13:53,464
Make love to the
night, motherfucker.
1548
01:13:53,555 --> 01:13:56,866
Noah Griffith! Where are you going?
I'm not done with you!
1549
01:13:57,760 --> 01:14:00,172
You think your friends are
gonna bail you out of this?
1550
01:14:00,262 --> 01:14:02,765
Listen, I'm in a real bad mood.
I don't want to hurt you motherfuckers.
1551
01:14:02,898 --> 01:14:04,206
- What's up, candy man?
1552
01:14:04,300 --> 01:14:05,836
We're gonna get up in it, boy.
1553
01:14:05,934 --> 01:14:08,437
Put a quarter in my butt.
Let's get this fight farted. Let's go.
1554
01:14:11,774 --> 01:14:13,117
Motherfuckers!
1555
01:14:14,443 --> 01:14:15,683
Ahh! My nuts!
1556
01:14:21,450 --> 01:14:22,929
Taxi!
1557
01:14:25,321 --> 01:14:26,629
I need a cab, man!
1558
01:14:26,722 --> 01:14:30,397
- Hey, man, your nuts are on fire!
- I know my nuts are on fire!
1559
01:14:31,560 --> 01:14:32,971
That's how your mama like it!
1560
01:14:33,495 --> 01:14:34,803
- Noah!
- Are you okay?
1561
01:14:34,897 --> 01:14:36,843
Yeah, it's too crazy to explain.
We gotta go!
1562
01:14:36,932 --> 01:14:39,139
- What happened?
- Was that a real gun?
1563
01:14:43,706 --> 01:14:46,619
Let me tell you about my day.
1564
01:14:46,709 --> 01:14:49,280
It's such a very long day.
1565
01:14:49,378 --> 01:14:51,949
It started around 7:00.
1566
01:14:52,047 --> 01:14:54,186
And I can hear her pray.
1567
01:14:54,316 --> 01:14:57,695
As I walk through the yard.
1568
01:14:57,820 --> 01:14:59,959
I could feel your presence.
1569
01:15:00,055 --> 01:15:02,399
Giving me the time of my life.
1570
01:15:02,524 --> 01:15:04,504
And showering me
with life lessons.
1571
01:15:04,593 --> 01:15:07,005
Now {know what they mean.
1572
01:15:07,096 --> 01:15:10,043
When they said keep
your head to the sky.
1573
01:15:10,165 --> 01:15:12,372
Don't be too quick to fit in.
1574
01:15:12,501 --> 01:15:14,913
And don't feel you have to try.
1575
01:15:15,037 --> 01:15:18,849
This road is strange,
so strange it is.
1576
01:15:19,908 --> 01:15:22,149
You know it really hurts inside.
1577
01:15:22,244 --> 01:15:24,053
Yeah, sometimes.
1578
01:15:29,017 --> 01:15:30,428
We're here.
1579
01:15:31,854 --> 01:15:33,424
We're here.
1580
01:15:36,859 --> 01:15:39,237
You must think I'm such a bitch.
1581
01:15:41,697 --> 01:15:44,837
You shouldn't waste your feelings
on people who don't value them.
1582
01:15:48,003 --> 01:15:49,209
You're right.
1583
01:15:49,338 --> 01:15:51,545
- I haven't been cool to you.
- I know.
1584
01:15:51,673 --> 01:15:54,711
You haven't.
And I'm over it, too.
1585
01:15:59,314 --> 01:16:00,816
Take care of yourself, Marisa.
All right?
1586
01:16:12,561 --> 01:16:14,905
Your girlfriend sucks.
1587
01:16:15,030 --> 01:16:16,566
Yes, she does.
1588
01:16:16,698 --> 01:16:19,008
Indeed she does.
1589
01:16:20,002 --> 01:16:21,481
Blithe, I want to
show you something.
1590
01:16:22,671 --> 01:16:24,514
Just because you try and
look more grown up,
1591
01:16:24,606 --> 01:16:29,555
or try and act like a celebrity,
or a famous person or whatever,
1592
01:16:29,678 --> 01:16:31,419
it's not gonna get
you more friends.
1593
01:16:32,080 --> 01:16:33,525
You're a kid.
1594
01:16:33,615 --> 01:16:35,253
And a pretty great one.
1595
01:16:39,855 --> 01:16:42,563
Wipe that shit off your face.
You look insane, okay?
1596
01:16:42,691 --> 01:16:43,863
Okay.
1597
01:16:48,030 --> 01:16:50,237
You know what "blithe" means?
1598
01:16:50,365 --> 01:16:52,174
What?
1599
01:16:52,267 --> 01:16:53,871
It means "joyous."
1600
01:16:59,908 --> 01:17:02,184
You know what "late" means?
1601
01:17:02,744 --> 01:17:03,916
- What?
- "Late,"
1602
01:17:04,046 --> 01:17:06,617
as in fucked, as in we were all
supposed to be in bed by 1:00
1603
01:17:06,748 --> 01:17:07,954
and it's already 10 after.
1604
01:17:08,083 --> 01:17:09,528
Son of a bitch!
1605
01:17:12,955 --> 01:17:15,959
All right, looks like we beat them home.
Let's go inside. Hustle.
1606
01:17:36,011 --> 01:17:37,319
Rodrigo!
1607
01:17:42,484 --> 01:17:43,792
Rodrigo!
1608
01:17:44,820 --> 01:17:46,299
HEY! YOU guys see Rodrigo?
1609
01:17:46,421 --> 01:17:47,900
Hula, Rodrigo!
1610
01:17:47,990 --> 01:17:50,300
Rodrigo! Rodrigo!
1611
01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:53,239
Whoa. Weird.
1612
01:17:53,328 --> 01:17:55,239
That's the most messed up
thing we've seen all night.
1613
01:18:02,371 --> 01:18:03,611
Noah, they're here!
1614
01:18:04,006 --> 01:18:05,781
Okay! Everyone on the couch!
Let's go.
1615
01:18:05,874 --> 01:18:07,410
Let's go! Get on the couch.
Come on!
1616
01:18:09,845 --> 01:18:11,586
The MMA world is abuzz tonight
1617
01:18:11,680 --> 01:18:14,024
with the news of a brutal
out-of-the-ring assault
1618
01:18:14,116 --> 01:18:17,928
an local hero and pro kickboxing
legend Ricky Fantaine.
1619
01:18:18,020 --> 01:18:21,331
Witnesses at the Brooklyn house
party where the assault took place
1620
01:18:21,456 --> 01:18:26,269
described his attacker as a young man,
accompanied by three small children.
1621
01:18:26,361 --> 01:18:27,840
Oh, my God.
- In another story,
1622
01:18:27,963 --> 01:18:31,103
two small New York businesses experienced
bizarre bathroom explosions.
1623
01:18:31,199 --> 01:18:33,304
- Hello.
- Hey, guys!
1624
01:18:33,402 --> 01:18:34,437
Hi. What?
1625
01:18:34,536 --> 01:18:36,743
Hey! Welcome back!
1626
01:18:37,673 --> 01:18:39,448
What's going on?
It's after 1:00 in the morning.
1627
01:18:39,541 --> 01:18:41,521
These kids should be
in bed already, Noah.
1628
01:18:41,610 --> 01:18:45,615
- Mom, it's not his fault.
- Yeah. We told him our bedtime was 1:30.
1629
01:18:45,714 --> 01:18:49,389
I turned the clock back. So sorry.
My deepest apologies.
1630
01:18:50,018 --> 01:18:51,224
You darn kids!
1631
01:18:51,320 --> 01:18:53,231
Played a trick on me,
these little rascals.
1632
01:18:53,355 --> 01:18:54,561
I'm not buying it.
1633
01:18:54,690 --> 01:18:57,330
Everybody, upstairs. Bed! Now.
1634
01:18:57,426 --> 01:18:59,531
- Go brush your teeth.
- Sorry, Mom.
1635
01:18:59,661 --> 01:19:01,572
And say
good night to Noah.
1636
01:19:01,697 --> 01:19:04,007
Maybe he'll be nice enough to
come back and babysit again.
1637
01:19:04,099 --> 01:19:05,476
Night, Noah.
1638
01:19:05,567 --> 01:19:06,637
Night, guys.
1639
01:19:06,735 --> 01:19:08,180
And Peter has your money, okay?
1640
01:19:08,270 --> 01:19:09,408
Cool, thanks.
1641
01:19:09,538 --> 01:19:10,642
Oh, Noah!
1642
01:19:10,739 --> 01:19:13,151
Your mom told me to tell you
not to wait up for her.
1643
01:19:13,241 --> 01:19:16,415
She and that guy that I set her up with,
Dr. Stevens, went out to have a nightcap.
1644
01:19:16,511 --> 01:19:19,685
Let me tell you, I think she
was having a really good time.
1645
01:19:19,781 --> 01:19:21,055
Thanks for hooking that up.
1646
01:19:21,183 --> 01:19:23,424
- Thanks for babysitting.
- See you next time.
1647
01:19:26,521 --> 01:19:28,694
I trust the kids weren't
too much trouble.
1648
01:19:28,790 --> 01:19:30,497
You got three great ones.
1649
01:19:30,592 --> 01:19:32,003
Hey...
1650
01:19:32,094 --> 01:19:33,539
You want
a recommendation?
1651
01:19:33,629 --> 01:19:35,199
Here's my advice.
1652
01:19:36,565 --> 01:19:38,101
Get your shit together.
1653
01:19:39,434 --> 01:19:41,004
You're right.
1654
01:19:41,103 --> 01:19:43,743
Maybe I do have some
stuff I need to work on.
1655
01:19:43,872 --> 01:19:48,014
But the last person on Earth I need
to take advice from is you, sir.
1656
01:19:48,110 --> 01:19:49,851
Excuse me?
1657
01:19:50,278 --> 01:19:53,623
You're banging your assistant,
Debra, and you're going to stop.
1658
01:19:53,715 --> 01:19:54,887
Do you understand me?
1659
01:19:54,983 --> 01:19:57,793
I would be very careful
how you talk to me.
1660
01:19:57,919 --> 01:20:00,399
You'd better be very careful
how you talk to me.
1661
01:20:00,489 --> 01:20:03,197
Because I'm going to be at
home with nothing going on.
1662
01:20:03,291 --> 01:20:05,635
And I'm going to have one eye
on my three friends up there
1663
01:20:05,761 --> 01:20:09,573
and the other eye right on you.
1664
01:20:09,665 --> 01:20:11,736
I just want you to get
your act together, Doc.
1665
01:20:12,601 --> 01:20:14,046
Fucking...
1666
01:20:14,636 --> 01:20:17,242
One more thing.
Your wife's smoking hot.
1667
01:20:17,339 --> 01:20:20,047
You need to get rid of Debra
and focus on tapping that ass.
1668
01:20:22,844 --> 01:20:25,586
And there may be a scratch
or two on your minivan!
1669
01:20:42,030 --> 01:20:43,441
Hey, stranger!
1670
01:20:44,032 --> 01:20:45,443
Need a ride?
1671
01:20:52,941 --> 01:20:54,852
- Hey, Roxanne. What's up?
- Hey.
1672
01:20:54,976 --> 01:20:56,148
How'd you find me?
1673
01:20:56,278 --> 01:21:00,249
Oh, this little gizmo kept beeping,
so I followed it to find you.
1674
01:21:00,348 --> 01:21:02,453
Which is a little creepy
now that I think about it.
1675
01:21:03,485 --> 01:21:05,328
That's okay.
Thank you for stalking me.
1676
01:21:07,289 --> 01:21:08,666
Shit.
1677
01:21:09,791 --> 01:21:11,998
Oh. Let me guess.
Your girlfriend again?
1678
01:21:12,127 --> 01:21:13,435
No.
1679
01:21:13,528 --> 01:21:14,939
We broke up.
1680
01:21:15,030 --> 01:21:17,442
Oh. And you're just fine?
You seem fine.
1681
01:21:17,532 --> 01:21:19,443
Yeah, no, I'm great.
1682
01:21:19,534 --> 01:21:23,846
She's in hysterics, but she'll be
cool, eventually. She'll move on.
1683
01:21:24,372 --> 01:21:27,842
- Listen, I'm a free bird.
- I got to fly.
1684
01:21:27,976 --> 01:21:29,785
Right.
1685
01:21:29,878 --> 01:21:31,687
- I don't know why I said that.
1686
01:21:33,415 --> 01:21:36,487
- Do you need to get that?
- It's my dad, actually.
1687
01:21:37,319 --> 01:21:39,230
I think I'm gonna let this
one go to voice mail.
1688
01:21:39,354 --> 01:21:40,799
Great.
1689
01:21:40,889 --> 01:21:43,369
I have an idea.
Why don't we ditch the car?
1690
01:21:44,826 --> 01:21:45,964
It's a nice night for a walk.
1691
01:21:46,561 --> 01:21:48,632
Okay. Sure.
1692
01:21:49,698 --> 01:21:50,733
Cool.
1693
01:22:00,742 --> 01:22:03,382
- Looks like you had a rough night.
- Yeah.
1694
01:22:03,512 --> 01:22:08,154
But like a wise man once told me, "Make
love to the night, motherfucker."
1695
01:22:08,250 --> 01:22:09,320
"Make love to the night."
1696
01:22:10,519 --> 01:22:13,363
Have you ever met a girl
that you tried to date.
1697
01:22:13,455 --> 01:22:16,334
But a year, to make lave
She wanted you to wait.
1698
01:22:16,424 --> 01:22:18,802
Let me tell ya a story
of my situation.
1699
01:22:18,894 --> 01:22:22,034
I was talkin' to this girl
from the U.S. nation.
1700
01:22:22,130 --> 01:22:24,770
The way that I met her was
on tour at a concert.
1701
01:22:24,866 --> 01:22:27,472
She had really long hair
and a short miniskirt.
1702
01:22:27,569 --> 01:22:30,277
I just got onstage drippin',
pourin' with sweat.
1703
01:22:30,372 --> 01:22:33,148
I was walkin' through the
crowd and guess who I met.
1704
01:22:33,241 --> 01:22:35,847
I whispered in her ear Come
to the picture booth.
1705
01:22:35,944 --> 01:22:38,891
So I can ask you some questions to
see if you are a hundred proof.
1706
01:22:38,980 --> 01:22:41,517
I asked her her name She
said blah-blah-blah.
1707
01:22:41,616 --> 01:22:44,597
She had 9/10 pants
and a very big bra.
1708
01:22:44,686 --> 01:22:47,292
I took a couple of flicks
and she was enthused.
1709
01:22:47,389 --> 01:22:48,493
I said, how do you
like the show?
1710
01:22:48,590 --> 01:22:50,365
She said, I was very amused.
1711
01:22:50,458 --> 01:22:53,098
I started throwin' bass She
started throwin' back mid-range.
1712
01:22:53,195 --> 01:22:55,903
But when I sprung the question
She acted kind of strange
1713
01:22:55,997 --> 01:22:59,103
'Cause when I asked, Do you have a man?
She tried to pretend.
1714
01:22:59,201 --> 01:23:03,013
She said, no, I don't I
only have a friend.
1715
01:23:03,104 --> 01:23:05,084
You must be buggin'.
1716
01:23:05,173 --> 01:23:06,880
This is what I'm gonna sing.
1717
01:23:07,576 --> 01:23:12,548
You, you got what I need.
1718
01:23:12,647 --> 01:23:15,560
But you say he's just a friend.
1719
01:23:15,650 --> 01:23:19,154
And you say he's just
a friend Oh, baby.
1720
01:23:19,254 --> 01:23:23,862
You got what I need.
1721
01:23:24,326 --> 01:23:27,068
But you say he's just a friend.
1722
01:23:27,162 --> 01:23:30,632
But you say he's just
a friend Oh, baby.
1723
01:23:30,732 --> 01:23:35,374
You got what I need.
1724
01:23:35,470 --> 01:23:38,280
But you say he's just a friend.
1725
01:23:38,373 --> 01:23:41,377
But you say he's just a friend.
1726
01:23:41,476 --> 01:23:43,922
So please listen to the
message that I say.
1727
01:23:44,012 --> 01:23:47,016
Don't ever talk to a girl who
says she just has a friend.
1728
01:23:47,115 --> 01:23:49,618
Has a friend.
1729
01:23:55,657 --> 01:23:56,658
Yeah.
1730
01:23:56,758 --> 01:23:58,260
Premier and Slick Hick, kid.
1731
01:24:00,161 --> 01:24:01,606
Jonah Hill.
1732
01:24:01,696 --> 01:24:03,039
Yeah, kid, check it out.
1733
01:24:03,131 --> 01:24:05,077
Good gosh The world's so bad.
1734
01:24:05,166 --> 01:24:06,873
It's trying to drive
me, a sane man, mad.
1735
01:24:07,769 --> 01:24:10,181
Great gosh I need some bad
1736
01:24:10,272 --> 01:24:12,081
'Bout to drive me,
a sane man, mad.
1737
01:24:12,574 --> 01:24:14,986
Are you peeping this floozy
Or queens, excuse me.
1738
01:24:15,076 --> 01:24:17,682
Can't believe haw many times I
had to eat the chick's sushi.
1739
01:24:17,779 --> 01:24:18,757
Who she?
1740
01:24:18,847 --> 01:24:20,326
Look at haw a brother
gotta roll.
1741
01:24:20,415 --> 01:24:22,622
All cold, kid Anyway
truth being told.
1742
01:24:22,717 --> 01:24:25,220
Fit boy too big Which
one you pick.
1743
01:24:25,320 --> 01:24:28,028
Rico suave or chick
one, two kid.
1744
01:24:28,123 --> 01:24:30,194
Once I was born in this thick.
1745
01:24:30,292 --> 01:24:32,431
Why I gotta deal with
this horniness tip.
1746
01:24:32,527 --> 01:24:34,905
This, not enough flair
This, lack a lot wares.
1747
01:24:35,030 --> 01:24:37,670
Got her holding my tears
Trying to act like who cares.
1748
01:24:37,766 --> 01:24:40,076
Reaching, if I say I
see kids in the mix.
1749
01:24:40,168 --> 01:24:42,648
Wanna cuddle Go out something,
trick with the chick.
1750
01:24:42,737 --> 01:24:43,943
You know what I'm saying, kid
1751
01:24:44,039 --> 01:24:47,680
'Cause it's so bad Trying to
drive me, a sane man, mad.
1752
01:24:48,877 --> 01:24:51,824
I need some bad 'Bout to
drive me, a sane man, mad.
1753
01:24:52,714 --> 01:24:54,716
Good gosh the world's so bad.
1754
01:24:54,816 --> 01:24:57,626
It's trying to drive
me, a sane man, mad.
1755
01:24:57,719 --> 01:24:59,926
Great gosh I need some bad
1756
01:25:00,021 --> 01:25:02,433
'Bout to drive me,
a sane man, mad.
1757
01:25:02,557 --> 01:25:05,060
I want you, munch too Comes
to hun, how long do.
1758
01:25:05,160 --> 01:25:07,731
Ma duke caught the kid
masturbating once too.
1759
01:25:07,829 --> 01:25:10,070
Passed, looked stunned,
kept an like.
1760
01:25:10,165 --> 01:25:12,509
Don't you have a steady
piece to smash yet, son?
1761
01:25:12,600 --> 01:25:14,910
What to do, Mom None
touching dude's joint.
1762
01:25:15,003 --> 01:25:17,540
Like to see me out here buying
some prostitute's bum?
1763
01:25:17,639 --> 01:25:18,617
No?
1764
01:25:18,707 --> 01:25:20,983
Picking up scroin, cop pursuing.
1765
01:25:21,076 --> 01:25:22,783
From the stripper
club hair doing.
1766
01:25:22,877 --> 01:25:24,948
Then laughed and none
but wise after.
1767
01:25:25,046 --> 01:25:27,822
Soul mate, more than
sex, a live partner.
1768
01:25:27,916 --> 01:25:29,520
Snatch can't get, cat frantic.
1769
01:25:29,617 --> 01:25:32,723
So, in the meantime stripper
club, lap dance tip.
1770
01:25:32,821 --> 01:25:34,926
A professional press
box arouser.
1771
01:25:35,023 --> 01:25:37,936
Some condoms so I don't
mess up me trousers.
1772
01:25:38,026 --> 01:25:39,869
Then start paying, mark swaying.
1773
01:25:39,961 --> 01:25:42,737
Girlfriend just sit down
and start playing.
1774
01:25:42,831 --> 01:25:44,640
Here's an extra, para
ding the wealth.
1775
01:25:44,733 --> 01:25:47,407
Don't want a real kid feel
like I'm degrading myself.
1776
01:25:47,502 --> 01:25:49,539
Bouncing on me funny
Bouncing with my money.
1777
01:25:49,637 --> 01:25:52,345
Or it's back to playing cat and
mouse games with the honey.
1778
01:25:52,440 --> 01:25:53,441
You know what I mean, kid.
1779
01:25:53,541 --> 01:25:57,182
Caught a script so bad Trying
to drive me, a sane man, mad.
1780
01:25:57,278 --> 01:25:58,621
Say wha t, Slick Hick.
1781
01:25:58,713 --> 01:26:02,320
I need some bad 'Bout to
drive me, a sane man, mad.
1782
01:26:02,417 --> 01:26:06,365
Good gosh the world's so bad Trying
to drive me, a sane man, mad.
1783
01:26:06,454 --> 01:26:07,524
Jonah Hill, kid.
1784
01:26:07,622 --> 01:26:12,435
Good gash, need some bad About
to drive me, a sane man...
1785
01:26:15,997 --> 01:26:17,533
I need some bad.
1786
01:26:20,935 --> 01:26:22,141
I need some bad.
1787
01:26:23,538 --> 01:26:27,315
I need some bad I need some bad.
1788
01:26:30,945 --> 01:26:32,253
I need some bad
1789
01:26:48,930 --> 01:26:49,908
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