1 00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:21,767 No fucking way. 2 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,165 Who were the cops this time? 3 00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:01,581 Okay, let's get started. 4 00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,125 Don't push it, Mac. 5 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,728 Get started doing some pullovers? 6 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:06,979 No, we're not doing your pullovers. 7 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,171 Everything'll be by the book. 8 00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,173 Everything! 9 00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,613 Cap, you know how hard I worked on this thing? 10 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,222 Big face, big mustache. 11 00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:19,116 I don't care how big your face is. Shave it! 12 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:27,140 Farva: Cap, cap, cap! 13 00:26:41,017 --> 00:26:42,602 I mean, it's not gonna kill him, is it? 14 00:26:42,769 --> 00:26:44,687 I don't know. Do you want it to kill him? 15 00:26:46,481 --> 00:26:47,583 Bellefljillezallof1s-y! 16 00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,276 Just a minute! 17 00:26:50,443 --> 00:26:51,736 Just a, uh... 18 00:26:51,903 --> 00:26:53,797 What's Canadian for "minute"? 19 00:28:23,786 --> 00:28:28,165 So we are now unit 37.015. Try again. 20 00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:29,333 Whatever. 21 00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:32,855 I got a call out on rue de autoroute 77 22 00:28:32,879 --> 00:28:34,422 or some frére Jacques bullshit. 23 00:28:34,797 --> 00:28:36,883 There's a gaggle of dead Canadian geese on the road. 24 00:28:37,049 --> 00:28:39,027 Yeah, up here, they just call them geese, radio. 25 00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:41,280 Farva: Well, in two weeks, I call them American geese. 26 00:28:41,304 --> 00:28:49,304 Honk. Honk. Go clean them off. 27 00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:12,919 Mac: 1982. 28 00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:15,504 Did wham! Perform at the ceremony? 29 00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:17,566 Maybe if we had our independence sooner, 30 00:29:17,590 --> 00:29:19,526 we'd have no gun control, not believe in evolution 31 00:29:19,550 --> 00:29:22,428 and all be morbidly obese without healthcare. 32 00:29:24,138 --> 00:29:32,138 Bellefuille: Why don't you pull in right up here? 33 00:32:27,613 --> 00:32:29,299 You're 185 centimeters tall, 34 00:32:29,323 --> 00:32:31,242 you weigh 92 kilogram. Get used to it! 35 00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:33,327 Okay. 36 00:38:09,997 --> 00:38:12,124 Wet mouth, sweaty palms, damp ears, moist groin, 37 00:38:12,291 --> 00:38:15,669 varicose breasts, hair loss, queefing, and bitchiness. 38 00:38:15,836 --> 00:38:17,796 Flova scotia, eh? 39 00:38:17,963 --> 00:38:20,150 You can say "queefing" on Canadian TV? 40 00:38:20,174 --> 00:38:21,508 Ha! What a country! 41 00:38:21,675 --> 00:38:23,218 What about you? You're awful smiley. 42 00:38:23,385 --> 00:38:24,470 I'm on acid. 43 00:38:24,636 --> 00:38:32,636 Pharmaceutical acid? Ls there such a thing? 44 00:42:42,185 --> 00:42:44,187 What are you two doing together? Mall walking? 45 00:42:44,354 --> 00:42:46,940 We ran into each other at the pet store. 46 00:42:47,107 --> 00:42:50,128 Rabbit. You shopping for a new gerbil? 47 00:42:52,821 --> 00:42:54,757 Hey, gwenevieve, how about the two of us 48 00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:56,241 go over to the saskatchuan palace 49 00:42:56,408 --> 00:43:04,408 and get a wang dang doodle? 50 00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:25,051 - Yeah. What's the worst that could happen? - You get mauled by the bear. 51 00:46:25,075 --> 00:46:26,552 Or that bear could get mauled by me. 52 00:46:26,576 --> 00:46:28,304 - You ever think about that? - Thorny: No, I didn't. 53 00:46:28,328 --> 00:46:29,388 Okay, here's the plan: 54 00:46:29,412 --> 00:46:31,557 I'll go out there and distract the bear, while you get the meat 55 00:46:31,581 --> 00:46:33,768 - and get it the hell out of the station. - Team ram-rod! 56 00:46:33,792 --> 00:46:35,168 Please don't start with that shit. 57 00:46:40,632 --> 00:46:42,008 Mac: Good luck, fellas. 58 00:52:43,077 --> 00:52:44,513 Here you go. Farva Captain. 59 00:52:44,537 --> 00:52:45,973 - Come in, captain. - Officer. 60 00:52:45,997 --> 00:52:47,308 Farva: Captain, come in. 61 00:52:47,332 --> 00:52:48,434 Man: Officer, here you go. 62 00:52:48,458 --> 00:52:50,227 Farva: Are you hearing anything, captain? 63 00:52:50,251 --> 00:52:51,770 Man, you think maybe your buddy is getting 64 00:52:51,794 --> 00:52:53,629 a little old for this? I mean, a deaf cop? 65 00:52:54,255 --> 00:52:55,757 Who said that, eh? 66 00:52:56,132 --> 00:52:59,093 Ooh. You, sir, have the nose of a king. 67 00:52:59,552 --> 00:53:02,013 Hold tight, I'm gonna get my ticket book. 68 00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:05,308 Ya! Hey there. 69 00:53:05,475 --> 00:53:07,286 - License and registration. - All right. 70 00:53:07,310 --> 00:53:09,204 Let's go! License and registration, eh! 71 00:53:10,271 --> 00:53:14,126 What's so funny, Mr. Matt tornon? 72 00:53:14,150 --> 00:53:15,210 You think it's funny that 73 00:53:15,234 --> 00:53:16,694 I lost my balls in a tractor pull? 74 00:53:16,861 --> 00:53:18,589 Wait, you both got your nuts ripped off 75 00:53:18,613 --> 00:53:19,614 in a tractor pull? 76 00:53:19,781 --> 00:53:21,407 I lost mine in the spokes of my bicycle. 77 00:53:21,574 --> 00:53:23,284 You know how fast that will stop a bicycle? 78 00:57:51,344 --> 00:57:53,572 You Americans think everyone want to fuck you! 79 00:57:53,596 --> 00:57:55,532 No one want to fuck you! 80 00:57:55,556 --> 00:57:56,641 Merde! 81 00:57:57,058 --> 00:57:58,976 Here is your party papers! 82 00:57:59,894 --> 00:58:01,812 I thought Canadians were nice. 83 00:58:02,355 --> 00:58:04,499 Thorny: Whoa! Whoa! Wait for me. Okay. 84 00:58:05,733 --> 00:58:06,918 I was thinking we could do like 85 00:58:06,942 --> 00:58:08,110 a "who's on first?" Pullover. 86 00:58:08,277 --> 00:58:16,277 "Rabbit and fostell0." You know, old-time comedy. 87 00:59:07,461 --> 00:59:09,272 First, I get a call that the mounties 88 00:59:09,296 --> 00:59:11,048 are out farting sideways on the highways. 89 00:59:11,215 --> 00:59:12,734 Then I get a call to come down here. 90 00:59:12,758 --> 00:59:13,985 Bellefuille: Oh, it wasn't us! 91 00:59:14,009 --> 00:59:15,987 These fucking guys, they kidnap us 92 00:59:16,011 --> 00:59:17,531 and they leave us in the woods to die. 93 00:59:17,555 --> 00:59:20,474 Yeah, then they steal all three of our uniform, eh. 94 00:59:20,641 --> 00:59:28,641 Thorny: These guys put a bear in our station! 95 01:00:56,987 --> 01:00:59,114 O'hagan: Just the bad years. 96 01:00:59,281 --> 01:01:01,384 I'm serious, cap. I'm about to snap like a dry twig. 97 01:01:01,408 --> 01:01:04,008 O'hagan: Things are still pretty dicey here. Best keep farva away. 98 01:01:04,119 --> 01:01:06,306 We'll let you know when the coast is clear. 99 01:01:09,458 --> 01:01:11,460 Have you heard the new kanye? 100 01:01:11,710 --> 01:01:14,314 He's not just about big butts! He's a really good singer. 101 01:02:10,686 --> 01:02:12,664 I'll fuck that Canadian right in his back bacon! 102 01:02:12,688 --> 01:02:13,689 Rod! 103 01:02:17,359 --> 01:02:19,153 - Yeah! - Farva! 104 01:02:19,361 --> 01:02:21,238 Farva! 105 01:02:22,364 --> 01:02:23,365 Farva! 106 01:05:34,932 --> 01:05:36,743 Mac tell you guys about our little moment? 107 01:05:36,767 --> 01:05:38,560 Did you, Mac and cheese? 108 01:05:38,727 --> 01:05:40,687 You told us, farva. I don't want to hear it again. 109 01:05:40,938 --> 01:05:42,415 I'm the cheese. 110 01:05:42,439 --> 01:05:43,500 Thorny: All right, look, guys. 111 01:05:43,524 --> 01:05:44,876 I know we're in some serious shit here, 112 01:05:44,900 --> 01:05:46,169 but if we can crack this case, 113 01:05:46,193 --> 01:05:47,462 we might just be able to get 114 01:05:47,486 --> 01:05:48,671 beyond this whole mountie thing. 115 01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:49,947 We didn't do anything. 116 01:05:50,114 --> 01:05:51,424 Foster, we kidnapped and impersonated 117 01:05:51,448 --> 01:05:52,688 officers of a sovereign nation. 118 01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:54,326 Right. 119 01:05:54,493 --> 01:06:02,493 Cuban cigars, Canadian pills, counterfeit cell phones, 120 01:06:57,306 --> 01:06:58,950 Yeah! 121 01:06:58,974 --> 01:07:00,309 Put the goddamn gun down. 122 01:07:00,475 --> 01:07:02,579 What? 123 01:07:02,603 --> 01:07:04,938 Oh, booyah! Guys, what do I win? 124 01:07:05,105 --> 01:07:06,899 A one-way ticket to hell. 125 01:07:12,446 --> 01:07:14,364 This place wishes it was shenanigans. 126 01:07:14,531 --> 01:07:15,824 Welcome to chicanery's, eh! 127 01:08:26,353 --> 01:08:28,456 Genevieve? 128 01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:31,566 I feel terrible about what I said to you. 129 01:08:31,733 --> 01:08:33,777 I know I overreacted. 130 01:08:34,027 --> 01:08:37,340 It's just the town is so upset about the turnover. 131 01:08:37,364 --> 01:08:38,424 Sure. 132 01:08:38,448 --> 01:08:40,343 Anyway, you are not a bad person, 133 01:08:40,367 --> 01:08:42,303 even if you are American. 134 01:08:43,745 --> 01:08:45,431 Well, I've actually been working on that for you. 135 01:08:45,455 --> 01:08:53,455 - For me? - Yeah. 136 01:13:26,444 --> 01:13:27,571 Shotgun! Shotgun! Shotgun! 137 01:13:27,946 --> 01:13:28,947 Whoa! 138 01:13:29,364 --> 01:13:30,550 Shit. 139 01:13:55,557 --> 01:13:57,475 You still banging that blonde cop, or... 140 01:14:04,107 --> 01:14:12,107 where the hell are they going? 141 01:14:41,603 --> 01:14:43,831 - Where are those female sex pills? - Cap! 142 01:14:43,855 --> 01:14:45,291 Give them to me! Give them to me! 143 01:14:51,905 --> 01:14:52,906 Thank you. 144 01:15:23,103 --> 01:15:25,397 Foster: He's like a walking hydrothermal explosion. 145 01:15:26,189 --> 01:15:28,358 You want to see some fartography? 146 01:15:30,527 --> 01:15:31,671 Farva: I'm still gonna go back 147 01:15:31,695 --> 01:15:33,113 and get that butter tart yule log. 148 01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:36,950 All right, boys. Let's milk this cow. 149 01:17:02,911 --> 01:17:04,162 Sounds romantic and cool. 150 01:17:04,329 --> 01:17:06,098 Being the mayor of a small American town 151 01:17:06,122 --> 01:17:08,517 sounds like you're a loser. For reals. 152 01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:10,060 You gotta admit 153 01:17:10,084 --> 01:17:12,545 it's a good scam. All along the borderline. 154 01:17:12,712 --> 01:17:14,064 But I never would've thought that 155 01:17:14,088 --> 01:17:16,049 the guys from the Fred savage incident 156 01:17:16,216 --> 01:17:17,967 would be the ones to trip me up. 157 01:17:18,134 --> 01:17:19,904 These are the cops that killed Fred savage? 158 01:17:19,928 --> 01:17:20,929 Sadly. 159 01:17:21,346 --> 01:17:29,346 But I will say this little rivalry between police forces, 160 01:19:15,335 --> 01:19:18,129 Smells like... hot dog water. 161 01:19:18,588 --> 01:19:20,107 Are you fucking kidding me? 162 01:19:22,842 --> 01:19:23,843 I hate you! 163 01:19:24,218 --> 01:19:25,219 I hate you. 164 01:19:25,345 --> 01:19:26,346 Shoot them. 165 01:19:28,264 --> 01:19:29,265 Shoot them all. 166 01:19:29,432 --> 01:19:30,642 With pleasure, boss. 167 01:19:31,893 --> 01:19:32,936 Farva: Hold on! 168 01:19:33,102 --> 01:19:36,439 If I'm going down, I'm going down American! 169 01:20:03,883 --> 01:20:05,603 All right, all right, enough with that song. 170 01:20:06,678 --> 01:20:07,738 Shoot them. 171 01:20:15,937 --> 01:20:17,522 Hurry, it's about to slice my Johnson! 172 01:21:00,940 --> 01:21:01,941 I got one more! 173 01:21:02,275 --> 01:21:03,335 Make it count! 174 01:21:10,742 --> 01:21:11,909 Oh! 175 01:21:12,410 --> 01:21:13,411 Ow. 176 01:21:18,416 --> 01:21:26,416 Gotta love that 48th bullet. 177 01:22:18,226 --> 01:22:19,620 That's one former hockey player 178 01:22:19,644 --> 01:22:20,686 who can shut the puck up! 179 01:22:20,895 --> 01:22:21,955 Right, guys? 180 01:22:23,439 --> 01:22:25,274 Shit, that was a good line. 181 01:22:28,569 --> 01:22:30,130 O'hagan: Come on, damn it! 182 01:22:30,154 --> 01:22:32,073 Motherfucker! 183 01:23:15,408 --> 01:23:17,618 I've been undercover three years. 184 01:23:17,785 --> 01:23:18,887 Part of a task force 185 01:23:18,911 --> 01:23:20,347 with the organized crime unit 186 01:23:20,371 --> 01:23:22,081 of the Ontario provincial police. 187 01:23:22,248 --> 01:23:23,624 She's down with opp. 188 01:23:23,791 --> 01:23:26,669 You assholes just blew three years of work for me. 189 01:23:26,836 --> 01:23:29,356 I was this close to getting their supplier. 190 01:23:29,380 --> 01:23:37,380 Now I'll never get 'em. 191 01:23:55,448 --> 01:23:58,010 You would have fit in good in calgary, eh. 192 01:23:58,034 --> 01:23:59,744 Talk about a bunch of goon. 193 01:23:59,911 --> 01:24:01,513 Podien: Especially that defenseman bonchance. 194 01:24:01,537 --> 01:24:02,580 That guy is the worst. 195 01:24:02,747 --> 01:24:04,040 What a musket, that guy, eh'? 196 01:24:04,207 --> 01:24:12,207 No, he end up in the qsphl by the time he's 38. 197 01:25:39,093 --> 01:25:40,261 Fuckin' Canadian. 198 01:25:43,806 --> 01:25:45,284 Give me 5o cc's of morphine, 199 01:25:45,308 --> 01:25:47,188 - shaving cream and a razor. - A razor for what? 200 01:25:47,310 --> 01:25:55,310 To remove the hair from your testicles. I have to stitch you up. 201 01:27:13,687 --> 01:27:16,249 They are heroes. 202 01:27:16,273 --> 01:27:17,751 Crowd: Aw! 203 01:27:17,775 --> 01:27:21,987 These men, they puted their life on the line for us. 204 01:27:22,154 --> 01:27:25,449 One of them, he even saved my life. 205 01:27:25,616 --> 01:27:33,616 This tan guy here with the wet tits. 206 01:28:10,035 --> 01:28:11,078 Hold on. 207 01:28:12,455 --> 01:28:14,498 Actually, I'm here to tell you 208 01:28:14,665 --> 01:28:16,768 that the U.S. and Canadian governments 209 01:28:16,792 --> 01:28:18,919 have decided to postpone the turnover 210 01:28:19,086 --> 01:28:22,107 until the rest of the hidden contraband is found. 211 01:28:22,131 --> 01:28:24,258 Cassandra: So, wait. 212 01:28:24,425 --> 01:28:26,927 Are we Canadians or are we Americans? 213 01:28:27,094 --> 01:28:29,472 You're still Canadians for now. 214 01:28:29,638 --> 01:28:32,808 And that's going to continue indefinitely. 215 01:28:32,975 --> 01:28:40,975 Sorry. 216 01:29:13,724 --> 01:29:16,644 You shut up about his pastiche! Come on! 217 01:30:24,962 --> 01:30:26,690 Mac and savage: Buttercup! 218 01:30:26,714 --> 01:30:27,881 Holy shit! 219 01:30:28,507 --> 01:30:30,050 Fred fuckin' savage, huh? 220 01:30:30,217 --> 01:30:32,028 - Uh, yes. That's me. - He's right here! Look at him! 221 01:30:32,052 --> 01:30:33,053 Yeah, we know. 222 01:30:33,429 --> 01:30:34,638 You still with winnie? 223 01:30:34,805 --> 01:30:36,765 Uh, no, no. Just a show, man. 224 01:30:36,932 --> 01:30:38,994 - I call sloppy seconds! - Okay, great. 225 01:30:39,018 --> 01:30:40,829 I think I'm gonna get the cat. I'm gonna get the cat. 226 01:30:40,853 --> 01:30:42,122 Mr. Savage, we can't let you do that 227 01:30:42,146 --> 01:30:44,332 because, you know, well, we're responsible for your safety. 228 01:30:44,356 --> 01:30:46,001 Don't worry about it. I'm an expert climber. 229 01:30:46,025 --> 01:30:47,359 Remember the movie super monkey? 230 01:30:47,735 --> 01:30:50,297 - All: Yeah. - I did all my own stunts in that movie. 231 01:30:50,321 --> 01:30:51,423 I'm good with the trees. 232 01:30:51,447 --> 01:30:59,447 Okay. 233 01:34:36,839 --> 01:34:39,132 It's a good workout, eh. 234 01:34:41,218 --> 01:34:42,618 Jay: Cut. I could do that all night. 235 01:34:42,719 --> 01:34:44,304 I know... 236 01:34:44,680 --> 01:34:46,265 Jay: And action! 237 01:34:46,890 --> 01:34:48,451 - Oh! 238 01:34:48,475 --> 01:34:50,018 That's how easy it is. 239 01:34:50,894 --> 01:34:52,729 Oh! Jesus Christ. Motherfucker. 240 01:34:53,355 --> 01:34:55,399 What do we got, till lunch? We got till lunch? 241 01:34:55,566 --> 01:34:56,626 Jay: Action. 242 01:34:56,650 --> 01:34:57,794 - Oh! 243 01:34:57,818 --> 01:35:01,172 Which one of you guys has a le... A le seniority? 244 01:35:07,202 --> 01:35:08,954 Jay: You got to blow those cheeks up. 245 01:35:09,121 --> 01:35:10,122 Okay. 246 01:35:11,331 --> 01:35:19,331 I think I have some of your mustache in my mouth. 247 01:39:28,004 --> 01:39:29,256 Mm-mm.