1 00:00:06,190 --> 00:00:09,590 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves 2 00:00:09,830 --> 00:00:12,990 Did gyre and gimble in the wabe 3 00:00:13,190 --> 00:00:15,990 All mimsy were the borogoves 4 00:00:16,230 --> 00:00:19,110 And the mome raths outgrabe 5 00:02:41,670 --> 00:02:45,070 It is the middle of the Dark Ages. 6 00:02:45,310 --> 00:02:49,590 Ages darker than anyone had ever expected. 7 00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:54,710 An horrendous monster casts a dreadful pall of fear... 8 00:02:54,950 --> 00:02:57,790 ...over a once happy land. 9 00:02:58,030 --> 00:03:01,070 As towns and villages are torn apart... 10 00:03:01,310 --> 00:03:04,110 ...the helpless survivors seek refuge... 11 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:08,070 ...behind the walls of the great city. 12 00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:10,710 But out in the forest... 13 00:03:10,950 --> 00:03:13,110 ...in isolated pockets... 14 00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:17,990 ...still untouched by the ravages of the monster... 15 00:03:18,230 --> 00:03:22,070 ...life and business goes on... 16 00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:24,030 ...as usual. 17 00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:29,590 Thirteen, fourteen. There's another little one. 18 00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:32,230 -Fifteen. -What are you doing, Dennis? 19 00:03:32,870 --> 00:03:34,350 Stocktaking, Father. 20 00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:37,190 -You took stock this morning. -I did. 21 00:03:37,390 --> 00:03:40,190 It never hurts to keep an account. 22 00:03:40,510 --> 00:03:42,070 In business now, Father... 23 00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:45,910 Never mind that nonsense and help with this cask. 24 00:03:46,150 --> 00:03:49,990 All right, Father. I'll finish stocktaking later. 25 00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:56,870 You see, the secret of the craft is to keep the stake... 26 00:03:58,350 --> 00:04:00,230 Take hold of the hoop. 27 00:04:02,070 --> 00:04:03,910 Dennis. Ralph. 28 00:04:07,070 --> 00:04:10,430 Good day, Mr. Fishfinger. Can I be of some assistance? 29 00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:13,190 -Well... -Dennis, what are you...? 30 00:04:15,510 --> 00:04:18,430 Yes, well, see, I need some barrels, Dennis... 31 00:04:18,630 --> 00:04:21,150 ...for shipping dried fish to the city. 32 00:04:21,390 --> 00:04:24,350 Big demand there, since this monster scare. 33 00:04:24,550 --> 00:04:26,750 Goodness, prices go up all the time. 34 00:04:26,990 --> 00:04:29,550 That's great. Tell me, Mr. Fishfinger... 35 00:04:29,710 --> 00:04:33,270 ...do you believe stories about villages being destroyed? 36 00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:35,910 I haven't seen the monster myself. 37 00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,550 When I was in Muckley the other day... 38 00:04:38,790 --> 00:04:40,910 Muckley? That's a ways. 39 00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:42,950 Two miles or more, easy. 40 00:04:43,710 --> 00:04:46,310 Gosh, I'd like to travel someday. 41 00:04:47,110 --> 00:04:48,870 -About the monster... -Yes. 42 00:04:49,110 --> 00:04:51,990 Well, this grain merchant, over in Muckley... 43 00:04:52,190 --> 00:04:55,790 ...he claimed that he'd actually seen it. 44 00:04:57,470 --> 00:05:01,830 Turned his teeth snow-white overnight, they say. 45 00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:09,430 -Anyway, about the barrels... -Yes, well, must be cheap. 46 00:05:09,670 --> 00:05:11,350 First, must be cheap. 47 00:05:11,750 --> 00:05:17,230 We can attend to your needs. Exactly how inexpensive? 48 00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:21,710 -No more than tuppence apiece. -Tuppence? 49 00:05:21,950 --> 00:05:24,950 What are you talking about? I can't turn out... 50 00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,310 ...a decent barrel for that price. 51 00:05:27,550 --> 00:05:30,350 -Father, don't you think...? -Be sensible. 52 00:05:30,550 --> 00:05:34,630 They only have to last until they get to the city. 53 00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:39,270 I don't make barrels to last two or three days, Fishfinger. 54 00:05:39,510 --> 00:05:42,270 I make barrels to last a lifetime. 55 00:05:42,630 --> 00:05:45,870 -Everybody knows. -You'll never understand. 56 00:05:46,110 --> 00:05:48,830 Or you either, Dennis, I'm afraid. 57 00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:51,430 You don't want barrels. You want bags. 58 00:05:51,670 --> 00:05:52,870 Get out! 59 00:05:53,110 --> 00:05:54,470 -Look, Father... -Out! 60 00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:56,790 Don't come back with shoddy deals. 61 00:05:57,030 --> 00:06:00,270 -Yes. Goodbye. -Tuppence! 62 00:06:00,710 --> 00:06:03,790 -I'm sorry, Mr. Fishfinger. -It's all right. 63 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,950 He's given me a very good idea. 64 00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:10,670 Wait! I think I can get... 65 00:06:10,910 --> 00:06:12,150 Bye, Dennis. 66 00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:14,790 Tuppence! 67 00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:27,670 Griselda. 68 00:06:30,230 --> 00:06:33,110 -Yeah? -It is I, Dennis... 69 00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:35,550 -...come to see you. -I see. 70 00:06:36,550 --> 00:06:38,910 How are you, my love? 71 00:06:40,670 --> 00:06:42,670 Have you missed me? 72 00:06:43,990 --> 00:06:45,910 It's lovely to see you again. 73 00:06:46,150 --> 00:06:48,190 I think about you all day long. 74 00:06:48,390 --> 00:06:51,030 I dream of when I'll ask for your hand in marriage... 75 00:06:51,230 --> 00:06:56,470 ...and we'll build that cottage. I'll come home, we'll have supper. Hey! 76 00:06:56,670 --> 00:06:59,310 Roger, what are you doing? Just you... 77 00:06:59,630 --> 00:07:01,190 What? 78 00:07:05,030 --> 00:07:07,670 Oh, Griselda. Sorry. 79 00:07:07,910 --> 00:07:09,270 Griselda. 80 00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:15,510 I can't ask for your love until I can marry. Say you'll wait. 81 00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:19,150 -Say I've got a chance... -Let go! 82 00:07:19,390 --> 00:07:22,350 -Why, Griselda, why? -I've gotta scratch. 83 00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:25,270 Oh, Griselda. Griselda, I... 84 00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:30,750 -Sorry, Dennis. How's your father? -Never better, Mrs. Fishfinger. 85 00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:36,990 -Is that Dennis Cooper? -Yes. 86 00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:43,190 Hello, Dennis. You've got garbage all over your vest. 87 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,270 Look after your appearance. Bad for business. 88 00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:50,070 By the way, thought you'd like to know... 89 00:07:50,310 --> 00:07:54,190 ...I got Wat the Mercer to run me up a few cloth bags. 90 00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:57,190 I wish Father could've seen it your way. 91 00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:00,590 Yes. A man's got to move with the times. 92 00:08:00,950 --> 00:08:04,390 When you take the shop, we'll do business. 93 00:08:04,630 --> 00:08:07,150 Oh, that won't be for some time yet. 94 00:08:08,710 --> 00:08:11,750 It's getting late. I'd better be going. 95 00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,870 Okay by me. 96 00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:16,390 Drop in anytime, Dennis. 97 00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:18,670 Goodbye, Griselda. 98 00:08:43,830 --> 00:08:45,390 Father! 99 00:08:52,510 --> 00:08:56,470 -Is that you, Dennis? -Yes, Father. 100 00:08:56,670 --> 00:09:00,950 -Come closer, Dennis. -Yes, Father. 101 00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:08,870 -What happened? -My heart. 102 00:09:09,990 --> 00:09:11,790 I haven't long. 103 00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:16,190 I'm going... I'm going to... 104 00:09:16,870 --> 00:09:18,110 Throw up? 105 00:09:18,630 --> 00:09:20,070 No. 106 00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,230 -Father. -Son. 107 00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:28,790 What shall I do without your guiding hand, without your skill? 108 00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:31,830 -Son. -Yes, Father? 109 00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:34,990 I'll tell you... 110 00:09:35,470 --> 00:09:39,110 ...you're going to end up just like that... 111 00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:43,870 ...Fishfinger. 112 00:09:44,310 --> 00:09:45,990 Who, me? 113 00:09:46,830 --> 00:09:50,790 I know Mr. Fishfinger's a successful businessman, but... 114 00:09:52,110 --> 00:09:55,070 Because you've got no understanding... 115 00:09:55,310 --> 00:09:58,150 ...of craftsmanship. 116 00:09:58,670 --> 00:10:02,910 No appreciation of the beauty of wood. 117 00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,870 -But... -Because you're just a shallow... 118 00:10:07,150 --> 00:10:10,390 -...dull, pretentious... -Father! 119 00:10:10,630 --> 00:10:14,430 Little stocktaker! 120 00:10:14,710 --> 00:10:17,190 Oh, Father, you're delirious. 121 00:10:17,390 --> 00:10:20,470 -You don't know what you're saying. -Yes, I do. 122 00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:21,870 You whimpering... 123 00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:23,710 ...snotty-nosed... 124 00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:27,590 ...cretinous oaf! 125 00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:31,670 -I've wanted to say this for years. -We're not alone. 126 00:10:32,030 --> 00:10:34,950 You're everything I despise! 127 00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,110 Dad's raving, I'm afraid. 128 00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:39,430 No, he's not. 129 00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:44,550 You and your kind will drive good, honest craftsmen to the wall. 130 00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:47,070 Do you hear? To the wall! 131 00:10:47,310 --> 00:10:50,990 Honestly, I was only trying to improve the business. 132 00:10:51,670 --> 00:10:54,350 You won't have my business... 133 00:10:55,390 --> 00:10:57,070 ...to improve anymore. 134 00:10:57,310 --> 00:11:02,870 Not my cooperage. Because I'm taking it with me! 135 00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:06,390 -I don't understand. -Don't understand? Damn ninny. 136 00:11:06,630 --> 00:11:08,430 I'm renouncing you. 137 00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:10,830 You're no craftsman's son. 138 00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:14,310 Get out. Out of my sight! 139 00:11:15,110 --> 00:11:18,070 Stocktaker! 140 00:11:42,390 --> 00:11:45,590 Griselda! Griselda, my angel! 141 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:48,390 -Go away. We're eating. -Is Griselda there? 142 00:11:48,630 --> 00:11:52,070 -Is that Dennis? -Yes, sir. Can I speak to Griselda? 143 00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:57,350 -She's eating. What do you want? -I'm going away to the city. 144 00:11:57,670 --> 00:12:00,630 I'll come back and claim Griselda's hand. 145 00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:03,070 So you will, Dennis. Goodbye. 146 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:09,190 Griselda, I'm going away. Say something. Say anything. 147 00:12:09,390 --> 00:12:13,430 -Pass the potatoes. -I heard that! You are in there. 148 00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:17,790 Darling, I'm going. I may not see you... 149 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,790 That's rotten! 150 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:26,270 For me? Griselda, you do care. 151 00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:31,190 A keepsake, something that will always remind me of you. 152 00:12:31,390 --> 00:12:34,590 I'll carry this next to my heart until we next... 153 00:12:34,830 --> 00:12:36,830 Say bye to the boy, Grisey. 154 00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:40,990 Meet. 155 00:12:48,950 --> 00:12:50,630 Goodbye, Griselda. 156 00:13:30,470 --> 00:13:33,310 No, no! Stay away, stay away! 157 00:13:33,510 --> 00:13:35,630 Stay away from me! 158 00:14:00,510 --> 00:14:02,910 What's that? What was that? 159 00:14:19,470 --> 00:14:21,990 Good morning, Your Majesty. 160 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,350 Good morning, Passelewe. 161 00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:28,870 -Good morning. -And to you, sir. A fine day. 162 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:31,630 Your business goes well, I trust. 163 00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:34,470 One doesn't like to complain. Your own? 164 00:14:34,670 --> 00:14:36,830 One does one's best, you know. 165 00:14:37,030 --> 00:14:38,950 I hear you're opening a shop. 166 00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:41,710 By the town gate. An area of growth. 167 00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:45,070 I agree. I trust we'll hear an order soon. 168 00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:48,630 Certainly. If your prices are competitive. 169 00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:49,910 Surely. 170 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:53,030 What's the latest wine-to-water ratio? 171 00:14:53,230 --> 00:14:57,270 It's two wine to one water still. It can't hold at that rate. 172 00:14:57,510 --> 00:14:59,190 They're lucky to get wine. 173 00:14:59,390 --> 00:15:04,270 Is that all? I detected a certain oneness in the last consignment. 174 00:15:04,510 --> 00:15:09,070 That's odd. It was robust when it left my premises. Get a move on. 175 00:15:09,670 --> 00:15:12,550 I'll send you a sample of our new port... 176 00:15:12,790 --> 00:15:15,790 Move it, you lame buggers. That would be kind. 177 00:15:16,030 --> 00:15:20,710 -Why has the king called this council? -Lord knows. Get going, you! 178 00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:25,150 I hear he is urged to take measures against the monster. 179 00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:27,550 Allowing the peasants to leave? 180 00:15:27,790 --> 00:15:33,110 It could very well be. And that would not be good for business. Move it! 181 00:16:02,230 --> 00:16:04,150 -After you. -No, you first. 182 00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:06,390 You're too kind. 183 00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:58,070 Attention! Our Most Glorious Majesty... 184 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:01,710 ...King Bruno the Questionable. 185 00:17:06,270 --> 00:17:10,350 Son of Olaf the Loud. 186 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,870 Oh, he's coming! He's coming! 187 00:17:13,190 --> 00:17:17,870 -I'm not finished yet... -Oh, look out! He's here! 188 00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:26,670 -Your Majesty. -Pay attention, Your Majesty. 189 00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:29,910 You must see it's of the gravest urgency. 190 00:17:30,230 --> 00:17:33,590 -Yes, yes. Of course. -Jesus Christ! 191 00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:37,150 Quick sire, down. 192 00:17:41,230 --> 00:17:42,990 Stop it! 193 00:17:44,670 --> 00:17:46,390 Come on. 194 00:17:48,830 --> 00:17:50,230 Bless my soul! 195 00:17:50,550 --> 00:17:55,150 Great-grandnephew... 196 00:17:55,350 --> 00:17:57,790 ...of Emperor Otto the Bent... 197 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,470 ...conqueror... 198 00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:05,950 ...of Freedonia. 199 00:18:06,150 --> 00:18:09,030 Let him go! Get up, man. 200 00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:12,230 You'll get your rags all dirty. 201 00:18:13,270 --> 00:18:15,950 Sire. Help us, sire. 202 00:18:16,150 --> 00:18:18,710 The monster is ravaging the countryside. 203 00:18:18,950 --> 00:18:23,190 It has destroyed our homes. We haven't eaten in days. 204 00:18:23,550 --> 00:18:24,710 -Weeks. -Months. 205 00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:27,470 -Except... -I ate my shoe yesterday. 206 00:18:27,710 --> 00:18:32,110 Oh, that's nothing. I ate three toes off of my right foot. 207 00:18:32,350 --> 00:18:35,030 -Terrible... -That ain't your right foot. 208 00:18:35,350 --> 00:18:38,270 Know-it-all! Are you a doctor or something? 209 00:18:38,510 --> 00:18:42,630 I saw a doctor once. He didn't see me. I was hiding. 210 00:18:42,950 --> 00:18:47,070 Your Majesty, save us from the great green beast. 211 00:18:47,310 --> 00:18:49,990 -Gray! -The side I saw was a dirty yellow. 212 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,870 -No, it were more orange. -It was gray! 213 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,950 Now stop it. Stop it, all of you! 214 00:19:00,190 --> 00:19:02,070 Go on, get out, get out! 215 00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:04,310 What are you doing? Get out! 216 00:19:04,550 --> 00:19:06,510 I'll read this to the king. 217 00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:08,670 -Stop it! -Go on! 218 00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:15,350 It seems, Passelewe, that my subjects are becoming a pain in the arse. 219 00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:17,870 Yes. Well, you must do something. 220 00:19:18,110 --> 00:19:22,550 Your kingdom is paralysed with fear. The city is packed with refugees. 221 00:19:22,790 --> 00:19:27,270 They're easy prey for every sharp-witted merchant and trickster. 222 00:19:27,630 --> 00:19:32,430 Past grand master of the Royal Order of Lowndes Victor, Saviour of Wales. 223 00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:37,270 -Hey! -And king. 224 00:19:57,350 --> 00:20:01,710 Your Majesty, your council meets today in solemn session... 225 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:05,390 ...to urgently discuss the terrible havoc... 226 00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:09,110 ...wreaked by the monster all over the countryside. 227 00:20:09,310 --> 00:20:12,670 Nobody gets in here without money or possessions. 228 00:20:12,910 --> 00:20:15,510 But I've got possessions. See? 229 00:20:15,750 --> 00:20:17,150 That's only a rock. 230 00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:18,750 -Only a rock? -Yeah. 231 00:20:18,990 --> 00:20:22,510 Listen, what if this is not just an ordinary rock? 232 00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:25,710 What if this is a diamond? 233 00:20:25,950 --> 00:20:29,310 It don't shine. Now get out of here! 234 00:20:30,870 --> 00:20:32,310 Right, next. 235 00:20:32,510 --> 00:20:37,230 -What have you got? Any grain? Cloth? -I haven't got anything. 236 00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:41,590 -But it's important that I get in. -They all say that. Move on. 237 00:20:41,830 --> 00:20:45,670 You don't understand. I'm here for a job. I'm starting over. 238 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,870 I've got lots of good ideas... 239 00:20:48,110 --> 00:20:52,830 Now look, sonny, shove off. Wait a minute! What have you got here? 240 00:20:53,150 --> 00:20:54,710 What's this? 241 00:20:55,550 --> 00:20:58,950 You told us you had nothing. 242 00:20:59,230 --> 00:21:01,630 -That's not for eating. -What? 243 00:21:01,870 --> 00:21:04,550 You could last for a week on that. 244 00:21:04,790 --> 00:21:07,630 Just a minute. What are you up to, sonny? 245 00:21:08,030 --> 00:21:10,310 Oh, nothing. It's a memento. 246 00:21:10,550 --> 00:21:11,590 A memento? 247 00:21:13,110 --> 00:21:15,390 My sweetheart gave it to me. 248 00:21:15,630 --> 00:21:17,230 She gave you that? 249 00:21:17,550 --> 00:21:19,950 Yes. Can I have it back, please? 250 00:21:20,790 --> 00:21:23,390 God, she must really love you. 251 00:21:24,070 --> 00:21:25,590 Do you really think so? 252 00:21:25,790 --> 00:21:29,670 Yeah. I've got a sticky feeling inside me just thinking of it. 253 00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:33,470 -You sure are a lucky guy. -Come on, Fred. Cut it out. 254 00:21:33,670 --> 00:21:37,430 -He's not getting in. -Give him a break, just this once. 255 00:21:37,670 --> 00:21:39,670 No chance. Now push off, you. 256 00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:49,790 Just because he's got a potato... 257 00:21:50,030 --> 00:21:51,710 That's what they all say. 258 00:21:51,990 --> 00:21:55,310 -Wait a minute. -Hey, you! 259 00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,230 Come back! 260 00:22:01,710 --> 00:22:03,870 That's far enough. 261 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:07,550 Let's have a look at your legs. 262 00:22:25,230 --> 00:22:26,750 Next. 263 00:22:31,470 --> 00:22:33,070 And so, Your Majesty... 264 00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:38,310 ...your great-great-great-great- great-grandfather... 265 00:22:38,510 --> 00:22:41,830 ...King Max the Vainglorious, by a tournament... 266 00:22:42,030 --> 00:22:46,870 ...chose from his knights a champion to free the kingdom from pestilence. 267 00:22:47,350 --> 00:22:51,630 Mounted on his mighty charger, Sir Bromiades waged... 268 00:22:57,110 --> 00:22:58,830 What's that? 269 00:22:59,030 --> 00:23:02,830 Quickly, man. Somebody might be trying to poison me. 270 00:23:06,150 --> 00:23:10,430 -Plaster, Your Majesty. -Oh. Carry on, Passelewe. 271 00:23:11,070 --> 00:23:14,230 -Mounted on his... -The 11th... 272 00:23:15,030 --> 00:23:18,430 -Mounted on his mighty... -No, wait. Twelfth century. 273 00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:21,310 Shut up! Fool! 274 00:23:21,950 --> 00:23:23,070 Carry on. 275 00:23:23,310 --> 00:23:26,750 Until peace was once more restored to the kingdom. 276 00:23:26,990 --> 00:23:31,070 With that, King Max rode back to the cheers of his subjects... 277 00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:33,630 ...who lined the road for 50 miles. 278 00:23:34,230 --> 00:23:38,590 Fifty miles? Do you mean they cheered him all that way? 279 00:23:38,830 --> 00:23:43,750 Wow! They certainly must have respected him. 280 00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:47,030 You're right. We'll hold a tournament. 281 00:23:47,350 --> 00:23:51,710 It's years since we've heard the clash of sword against shield... 282 00:23:51,950 --> 00:23:55,750 ...the clamour of armoured knights crashing to the ground... 283 00:23:55,990 --> 00:24:00,950 ...the spurt of blood as the dagger is thrust into unprotected groin. 284 00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:03,510 Oh, no, dear. No, no, no. 285 00:24:03,910 --> 00:24:07,790 What I had in mind was a tournament � plaisance. 286 00:24:09,190 --> 00:24:11,030 A plaisance? 287 00:24:11,230 --> 00:24:14,990 Passelewe, do my ear holes hear aright? 288 00:24:15,190 --> 00:24:20,710 A plaisance, with blunted sword and collared lance? 289 00:24:20,950 --> 00:24:22,270 Where's the honour? 290 00:24:22,470 --> 00:24:26,110 Where's the glory in buffoons playing pillow fights? 291 00:24:26,310 --> 00:24:31,470 No! It must be l'outrance. To the death. 292 00:24:31,870 --> 00:24:34,310 -Please, Bruno, please. -No, no, no. 293 00:24:34,510 --> 00:24:37,550 Go with all speed and make the arrangements. 294 00:24:38,350 --> 00:24:41,990 I can't wait to tell the princess. 295 00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:55,230 Daughter? 296 00:24:55,830 --> 00:24:59,230 Still working hard, I see. 297 00:24:59,470 --> 00:25:03,190 You and the blessed Sisters of Misery. 298 00:25:03,430 --> 00:25:06,990 Well, what are you making, daughter? 299 00:25:07,230 --> 00:25:11,750 A tapestry depicting the famous siege of Castle Apcadwallader. 300 00:25:12,150 --> 00:25:16,550 See? In this portion, the king is eating his horse... 301 00:25:16,790 --> 00:25:20,030 ...on the 98th day of the siege. 302 00:25:20,230 --> 00:25:21,670 Splendid! 303 00:25:22,550 --> 00:25:25,510 Very pretty, daughter. But you were always... 304 00:25:26,950 --> 00:25:30,950 Careful, Father. Sister Winnet fell out last week. 305 00:25:32,830 --> 00:25:36,910 Daughter, our kingdom will soon be free of the monster. 306 00:25:37,150 --> 00:25:41,430 I have declared a tournament to find a champion to destroy it. 307 00:25:41,670 --> 00:25:43,670 -What, the kingdom? -Oh, no. 308 00:25:43,870 --> 00:25:47,790 -Of course not, silly. The monster. -Oh! I see. 309 00:25:48,030 --> 00:25:49,670 Yes, and not only that. 310 00:25:49,870 --> 00:25:54,110 The successful knight will win your hand in marriage. 311 00:25:54,350 --> 00:25:56,550 Marriage? 312 00:25:57,190 --> 00:26:00,070 Yes, well, you want to be married, surely? 313 00:26:00,310 --> 00:26:02,150 -Of course, Daddy. -Then... 314 00:26:02,390 --> 00:26:05,950 But I want to marry a prince. I'm supposed to. 315 00:26:06,510 --> 00:26:09,990 That's why I wait here, like all the books say to. 316 00:26:10,190 --> 00:26:13,910 Are any of the contestants princes? 317 00:26:14,910 --> 00:26:18,790 -Well, not exactly. -No? 318 00:26:19,030 --> 00:26:22,030 No, but I could make one a prince, couldn't I? 319 00:26:22,230 --> 00:26:24,750 -I mean the winner. -It's not the same. 320 00:26:25,110 --> 00:26:29,350 No, not really. Well, never mind. 321 00:26:29,550 --> 00:26:34,590 Once the monster is destroyed, I will build you a beautiful bridal suite... 322 00:26:34,830 --> 00:26:37,550 ...in the lovely west tower. 323 00:26:47,670 --> 00:26:49,190 On second thought... 324 00:26:49,390 --> 00:26:52,350 ...I think the view from the lovely east tower... 325 00:26:52,550 --> 00:26:55,390 ...would be infinitely more preferable. 326 00:27:39,670 --> 00:27:41,670 -Who is it? -Excuse me. 327 00:27:41,950 --> 00:27:43,950 -Watch him. -What does he want? 328 00:27:44,190 --> 00:27:48,070 -Could I have some of your soup? -He's after our soup! 329 00:27:48,310 --> 00:27:50,950 -Somebody stop him! -Poke a hole in him! 330 00:27:51,190 --> 00:27:54,390 -I'll do anything. -Will he gather firewood? 331 00:27:54,630 --> 00:27:57,950 -What do you think? -We should poke a hole in him. 332 00:27:58,190 --> 00:28:01,190 I'll collect firewood if you let me have soup. 333 00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:03,470 Where do I get it from? 334 00:28:17,550 --> 00:28:20,630 Well, could I have a taste of the soup first? 335 00:28:20,870 --> 00:28:23,790 Just see if I like it? No, I thought not. 336 00:28:26,790 --> 00:28:31,110 Well, I'd better go then. The firewood, was it? 337 00:29:23,710 --> 00:29:26,190 So, you've discovered my diamond mine? 338 00:29:26,550 --> 00:29:30,510 -I was gathering firewood. -Liar! It's diamonds you're after. 339 00:29:30,870 --> 00:29:34,910 -Those aren't diamonds. They're rocks. -Rocks? 340 00:29:36,190 --> 00:29:40,030 Quick thinking, but not quick enough to save your skin! 341 00:29:40,230 --> 00:29:44,190 The secret of my diamond mine dies with you! 342 00:30:16,630 --> 00:30:20,710 I just dropped in to tell you to start without me. 343 00:30:21,230 --> 00:30:23,550 Perhaps another night. 344 00:31:24,630 --> 00:31:26,710 Hey! Hey! Hold it! 345 00:31:26,950 --> 00:31:29,830 Open up there! Open the door! 346 00:31:30,070 --> 00:31:32,350 Open it up! Open up in there! 347 00:31:33,030 --> 00:31:38,350 Open it! Open the door! Open the door! 348 00:32:21,990 --> 00:32:24,870 Rush hour! 349 00:32:48,710 --> 00:32:51,470 Hearken before it is too late! 350 00:32:51,670 --> 00:32:55,710 Repent! Cleanse yourselves! 351 00:32:55,950 --> 00:32:58,630 The beast is at the gates! 352 00:33:00,630 --> 00:33:03,590 The beast is at the gates! 353 00:33:05,030 --> 00:33:09,230 -Cleanse yourselves! -Horrible. Horrible. 354 00:33:09,990 --> 00:33:11,590 Repent! 355 00:33:12,150 --> 00:33:15,350 The beast is at the gates! 356 00:33:15,790 --> 00:33:17,870 Cleanse yourselves! 357 00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:21,470 All citizens, listen to me. 358 00:33:21,710 --> 00:33:25,550 -Yeah, you better bloody listen! -I hope you're listening! 359 00:33:26,390 --> 00:33:29,110 Are you listening up?! 360 00:33:29,870 --> 00:33:32,830 -You better listen up! -Shut up! 361 00:33:33,190 --> 00:33:36,030 -You were making noise. -You never listen. 362 00:33:36,230 --> 00:33:38,550 -Sin! -Sin. Sin. 363 00:33:38,870 --> 00:33:41,670 -The spikes of the pondylus. -The pondylus. 364 00:33:41,870 --> 00:33:45,030 -The crests of the dactylopters. -Dactylopters. 365 00:33:45,350 --> 00:33:47,070 -The trigla. -The trigla. 366 00:33:47,350 --> 00:33:52,270 -And the flying hogfish. -And the flying hogfish. 367 00:33:52,510 --> 00:33:57,910 Are as nothing compared to the beast that holds us prisoner! 368 00:33:58,230 --> 00:34:02,550 -The beast... -Flying hogfish? 369 00:34:03,710 --> 00:34:06,070 I seen a gliding hogfish once. 370 00:34:06,310 --> 00:34:10,030 Never flying. Not actually flying. 371 00:34:14,310 --> 00:34:19,270 Stewed mackerel! Stewed mackerel! 372 00:34:22,470 --> 00:34:26,190 Cabbages. Cabbages. 373 00:34:26,550 --> 00:34:30,990 Rats killed, lady. All very tidy. All very quiet. 374 00:34:31,230 --> 00:34:32,670 -Morning. -Oh, morning. 375 00:34:33,030 --> 00:34:37,590 -I'm afraid I haven't got any money. -Oh, that's all right. 376 00:34:37,830 --> 00:34:39,710 Thank you. 377 00:34:40,550 --> 00:34:41,630 Thank you. 378 00:34:41,830 --> 00:34:44,470 -Is that yours? -Well, of course it is. 379 00:34:44,670 --> 00:34:46,830 Whose did you think it was? 380 00:34:47,030 --> 00:34:48,630 -New to the city? -Yes. 381 00:34:48,830 --> 00:34:52,030 I came to start a new life here. Get a job. 382 00:34:52,350 --> 00:34:56,190 A job? No chance, son. Oh, thank you, governor. 383 00:34:56,510 --> 00:34:59,310 There must be plenty of opportunities. 384 00:34:59,510 --> 00:35:01,310 Morning. Thank you. 385 00:35:01,550 --> 00:35:04,870 I am a qualified cooper's apprentice. 386 00:35:05,110 --> 00:35:06,750 Cooper's apprentice? 387 00:35:07,030 --> 00:35:11,190 Well, what a coincidence. I'm a cooper myself. 388 00:35:11,390 --> 00:35:14,350 You may even have heard of me. Wat Dabney. 389 00:35:15,030 --> 00:35:16,830 Wat Dabney! 390 00:35:17,110 --> 00:35:20,830 Not the Wat Dabney? Inventor of the inverted firkin? 391 00:35:21,070 --> 00:35:22,630 The very same, lad. 392 00:35:22,870 --> 00:35:27,230 Now, if I can't get a job here, what chance have you got? 393 00:35:27,470 --> 00:35:32,190 Come here. Here. You see that plaque? 394 00:35:32,390 --> 00:35:35,910 There, under the barrel. That's a guild sign. 395 00:35:36,670 --> 00:35:39,830 To work there, you've got to be a guild member. 396 00:35:40,110 --> 00:35:44,190 But you're not, and I'm not and not likely to be. 397 00:35:44,390 --> 00:35:45,430 That's not fair. 398 00:35:45,670 --> 00:35:48,390 Fair or not, guilds have the town sewn up. 399 00:35:49,030 --> 00:35:51,790 -Morning. -What am I gonna do? 400 00:35:52,030 --> 00:35:54,790 It's no good going around with a long face. 401 00:35:55,030 --> 00:35:57,110 I did for weeks. Nearly starved. 402 00:35:57,350 --> 00:36:01,070 Then only this morning, I thought of this. 403 00:36:02,270 --> 00:36:04,190 Hey... 404 00:36:04,510 --> 00:36:07,150 Maybe we could team up together. 405 00:36:08,190 --> 00:36:09,590 Sure. 406 00:36:09,830 --> 00:36:12,790 -All we've got to do is... -No. Goodbye. 407 00:36:13,070 --> 00:36:15,430 I think it's a one-man business. 408 00:36:15,710 --> 00:36:18,950 What a golden chance he's missing. 409 00:36:47,230 --> 00:36:49,990 Attention! Attention... 410 00:36:50,190 --> 00:36:52,590 ...ladies and gentlemen, please. 411 00:36:52,870 --> 00:36:57,230 In my humble capacity as herald to His... 412 00:36:57,510 --> 00:37:01,390 Magnificence, King Bruno the Questionable... 413 00:37:02,910 --> 00:37:07,190 ...it is my privilege to announce... 414 00:37:11,510 --> 00:37:13,430 ...a joost... 415 00:37:13,710 --> 00:37:15,990 Sorry, a joust... 416 00:37:16,870 --> 00:37:21,030 ...to the death, to choose a champion. 417 00:37:22,110 --> 00:37:24,790 A champion to free the country... 418 00:37:25,030 --> 00:37:30,390 To free the country from the torments and ravages of the... 419 00:37:32,670 --> 00:37:34,590 Excuse me. 420 00:37:35,390 --> 00:37:37,190 Thank you very much. 421 00:37:43,110 --> 00:37:46,230 As a reward for killing the monster... 422 00:37:46,510 --> 00:37:49,630 ...the king's champion will receive... 423 00:37:49,870 --> 00:37:56,070 ...half the princess's hand and the entire kingdom in marriage. 424 00:37:58,670 --> 00:38:00,830 Correction. It is, of course... 425 00:38:01,110 --> 00:38:06,630 It is, of course, the king's hand and half the princess's kingdom. 426 00:38:08,030 --> 00:38:09,350 Excuse me. 427 00:38:13,030 --> 00:38:14,630 Yes, I see. Thank you. 428 00:38:14,870 --> 00:38:18,510 I've just received final confirmation of the final terms. 429 00:38:18,710 --> 00:38:21,230 It is, of course, the princess's hand... 430 00:38:21,470 --> 00:38:25,950 ...and half the entire kingdom. 431 00:40:14,190 --> 00:40:18,070 -Beware the Jabberwock, my son. -Cabbages. 432 00:40:18,310 --> 00:40:22,070 -The jaws that bite... -Can I have one for nothing? 433 00:40:22,470 --> 00:40:23,590 Get off. 434 00:42:04,270 --> 00:42:07,590 Hot roasted rats! Only a farthing. 435 00:42:08,230 --> 00:42:09,550 Rats on a stick! 436 00:42:09,870 --> 00:42:12,790 Shortly, one of you will own this egg... 437 00:42:13,110 --> 00:42:17,390 Get them hot! There you are, sonny. Off you go then. 438 00:42:17,870 --> 00:42:21,830 Here! Get your rats! Only a farthing! 439 00:42:22,070 --> 00:42:25,350 Turnips. Get your turnips. Turnips here. 440 00:42:26,110 --> 00:42:29,390 Turnips. Get your turnips. 441 00:42:49,230 --> 00:42:50,430 Hey, watch it! 442 00:43:04,470 --> 00:43:06,310 Jesus Christ! 443 00:43:09,270 --> 00:43:11,790 I'm sorry. I only wanted a turnip. 444 00:43:12,030 --> 00:43:13,670 Just keep walking. 445 00:43:15,270 --> 00:43:18,630 Hold up one minute. I'll have you out in two shakes. 446 00:43:18,870 --> 00:43:21,230 -Come on! -I've got it, really. 447 00:43:23,870 --> 00:43:25,390 How about that then? 448 00:43:25,710 --> 00:43:29,230 First-class service as advertised. Tell your friends. 449 00:43:33,310 --> 00:43:36,190 -Where do you want it? -By the burnishing pit. 450 00:43:36,390 --> 00:43:38,390 Over by the burnishing pit. 451 00:43:38,630 --> 00:43:43,190 Suppose you want this lot today. What happened? A tree fall on him? 452 00:43:45,670 --> 00:43:47,030 All right up there? 453 00:43:49,630 --> 00:43:52,830 You're the master armourer! Look at this arm brace! 454 00:43:53,030 --> 00:43:54,750 You call that workmanship? 455 00:43:54,990 --> 00:43:57,230 -I can't do... -Look at this jambeau! 456 00:43:57,510 --> 00:43:59,870 -What's wrong with it? -It fell off! 457 00:44:00,110 --> 00:44:01,750 You can't please people. 458 00:44:01,990 --> 00:44:05,110 I sent for the best armour. Arm braces are simple! 459 00:44:05,350 --> 00:44:08,630 I don't want to hear it! You said Friday afternoon! 460 00:44:08,870 --> 00:44:11,510 And to me, that means Friday afternoon! 461 00:44:11,750 --> 00:44:15,110 -I put three of my best men on the job. -No good! 462 00:44:16,110 --> 00:44:17,190 Get back! 463 00:44:17,390 --> 00:44:19,390 Come on, boys. Come on. 464 00:44:20,790 --> 00:44:23,470 And don't bother sending a bill, either! 465 00:44:37,190 --> 00:44:38,630 Excuse me. 466 00:44:43,110 --> 00:44:45,510 Excuse me! I couldn't help noticing... 467 00:44:45,710 --> 00:44:47,710 Get on out of here! 468 00:44:48,830 --> 00:44:53,670 It would increase your efficiency if you moved your box to here. 469 00:45:45,150 --> 00:45:47,590 You clumsy idiot! 470 00:45:47,830 --> 00:45:50,110 -Let's get out of here. -I was trying... 471 00:45:50,350 --> 00:45:52,790 -You did beautifully! -What about him? 472 00:45:53,030 --> 00:45:57,830 Come on! I'll buy you a drink. We'll go to the Queen's Haemorrhoids! 473 00:46:03,710 --> 00:46:05,830 -That better? -Oh, yeah. 474 00:46:06,070 --> 00:46:08,790 -I can't remember when I ate last. -I know. 475 00:46:09,030 --> 00:46:11,590 I once went without food for 147 days. 476 00:46:12,270 --> 00:46:13,710 147 days? 477 00:46:13,990 --> 00:46:16,270 It was the siege of Caerlaverock. 478 00:46:16,470 --> 00:46:20,710 Food was so short... What's the matter? You got a stomachache? 479 00:46:21,070 --> 00:46:23,630 I was trying to work out my next move. 480 00:46:23,950 --> 00:46:27,510 So was I. Jeez, why worry? 481 00:46:27,710 --> 00:46:32,150 I've got to! It's a big step coming from a small village to a city. 482 00:46:32,390 --> 00:46:37,030 I know! That's what attracted me to the life of a squire, the travelling. 483 00:46:37,230 --> 00:46:39,670 One day you're in Hertford hunting... 484 00:46:39,870 --> 00:46:45,910 ...the next you're in Scotland being burned at the stake. The adventure! 485 00:46:46,150 --> 00:46:50,550 Like the time we was fighting the Blessed Sisters of St. Alopecia... 486 00:46:50,790 --> 00:46:52,510 ...a band of warrior nuns. 487 00:46:52,830 --> 00:46:55,630 It sounds exciting. But how secure is it? 488 00:46:55,830 --> 00:46:58,470 -Now, you take coopering... -Coopering? 489 00:46:58,670 --> 00:47:01,990 Coopering! Hell! That's no life for a man! 490 00:47:02,230 --> 00:47:05,270 It is too. Barrels and casks are very important. 491 00:47:05,630 --> 00:47:07,910 -Now, in commerce... -Commerce! 492 00:47:08,310 --> 00:47:11,550 Rubbish! Now you listen to me. 493 00:47:11,830 --> 00:47:16,110 My knight was wounded, and there was I with my back to the wall... 494 00:47:16,310 --> 00:47:19,310 ...two great nuns coming at me with maces. 495 00:47:19,550 --> 00:47:24,270 -Fighting nuns isn't respectable... -Here, I'll show you! Come here! 496 00:47:24,470 --> 00:47:26,510 Now you try. Come at me. Put up! 497 00:47:26,710 --> 00:47:31,150 Pretend that drumstick is a mace. Oh, come on! 498 00:47:31,710 --> 00:47:33,750 Really let me have it. 499 00:47:33,990 --> 00:47:35,110 -Come on! -I can't. 500 00:47:35,470 --> 00:47:37,590 Go for me! I deflected the mace! 501 00:47:40,550 --> 00:47:43,150 Then I grabbed her like this! 502 00:47:48,110 --> 00:47:53,070 SubtitleSync (http://www.subtitlesync.com.ar)