1 00:00:44,128 --> 00:00:46,879 Do you wanna know the truth about high school? 2 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:50,007 You've got to break it down into its elements. 3 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,427 Unfortunately, at St. Donovan's, 4 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:55,972 the periodic table is more crooked than a case of scoliosis. 5 00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:59,600 But just give me the chance, 6 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,186 and I'll set it all straight. 7 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,939 Case in point... Spanish homework. 8 00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:07,024 "Dame un batido de esperma"... 9 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,569 does not mean, "Take me to the airport." 10 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:13,865 It means, "Give me a sperm milk shake." 11 00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:19,871 And 22 kids gave that as an answer in Spanish 3 last week. 12 00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:21,914 I'm not sure about the milk shake, 13 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:25,501 but somebody's sure feeding us something sticky. 14 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:29,088 Every clique on campus is copying the same damn homework... 15 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:33,801 burn-outs, pretty boys, drama dorks, jocks, debaters, player haters, 16 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,928 you name it. 17 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,055 Oh, it's big, all right, 18 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:43,060 and I'm on it like pink rubber bands on your little sister's braces. 19 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:47,190 The name's Bobby Funke. I write for the paper. 20 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,650 Wait. Wait a second. Who? 21 00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:53,696 - Bob-Bobby Funke. I write for the paper. - No, you don't. 22 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:56,949 I'm Tad Goltz, and I write for the paper. You don't write for shit. 23 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:59,952 Wait. Aren't you the freshman they tied to the snowman penis? 24 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,955 Sophomore. 25 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:08,169 Bobby, you can't expect us to give you a story like this... 26 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:10,463 when's there's nothing written and there's hardly proof. 27 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:14,884 Look, Clara, I'm the best writer you've got. Tell me differently. 28 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,345 You've never finished an article. 29 00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:22,975 Well, then do you wanna go to homecoming with me? 30 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,685 No. 31 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:28,689 Clara Diaz, editor in chief and one tough cookie. 32 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:31,025 All I wanted was a taste. 33 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:40,243 Friedrich Nietzsche said, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." 34 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:44,664 Bobby. But 10 bucks says Nietzsche never got a swirly. 35 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:46,749 Can't talk right now, Clara. 36 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,751 I feel really bad about what happened. 37 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:52,004 I know you're going for that Northwestern program, and I have an assignment for you. 38 00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:55,007 Take you to homecoming? Heard you were going with Tad. 39 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:58,010 - You know what Tad's short for, right? - Theodore? 40 00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,304 No. Vagina. 41 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,223 Look it up. 42 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:05,852 I want you to write a story on the student body president. 43 00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,397 - Really? - Really. 44 00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:12,108 Just get it on paper this time, okay? 45 00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:14,443 Okay. 46 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,489 Finally, my big break. 47 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,575 It was just the story I needed... 48 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,785 to get into the Northwestern summerjournalism program. 49 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:25,037 Instead of delivering papers this summer, 50 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:28,040 I'd be well on my way to writing for them. 51 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,126 Give me a piece of loose-leaf. 52 00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,547 Come on. Give me a piece of loose-leaf. 53 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,135 Give me a pen. 54 00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:41,220 What happened to the last pen I gave you? 55 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:44,056 Give me a pen, Funky. Give me a pen. 56 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,516 Take it. 57 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,443 Everybody paid attention... 58 00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:58,946 when Francesca Fachini walked into a classroom. 59 00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:02,617 She was a National Merit scholar, the varsity soccer captain... 60 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,953 and the president's girlfriend. 61 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,164 I'd interview her for the story... 62 00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:11,709 just as soon as I grew some testicles. 63 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,795 - # Buenos días # - Buenos días. 64 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,422 Senor Funky. 65 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,257 # La tarea # 66 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,134 What? 67 00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,761 # La tarea 68 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,596 I'm... fine. How are you? 69 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,806 # In Espanol # 70 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:29,226 # In Espanol # Hmm? 71 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:34,482 The president was a busy man, an important man, 72 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:39,654 and he was about to give me the story of my high school career. 73 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,990 Would you please state your name, year and social security number? 74 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:45,576 Paul Moore. I'm a senior. 75 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,787 I'm not gonna give you my soc. 76 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:51,040 Aren't you the freshman they tied to the snowman penis? 77 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,125 Sophomore. 78 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,419 As president, how would you say you're gonna handle... 79 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,130 the recent drop in A.C.T. And S.A.T. Scores? 80 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,134 Well, what would you have me do about it? 81 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,640 Seriously, you've seen me on the boards. 82 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,476 I'll do whatever it takes to get it done, 83 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,895 and that's a Paul Moore promise... 84 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:16,941 to you, to St. Donovan's, to Paul Moore. 85 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:20,152 - You know what I'm talking about? - Mi amor. 86 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:22,154 Con regalo. 87 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,031 Mi Amor. 88 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:30,079 ♪ 89 00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:33,165 Buenos días, Senor Funky. 90 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,876 ♪ 91 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:39,255 After 30 minutes in the shower, one thing was clear. 92 00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:42,550 Paul was all length and no depth. 93 00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:45,177 He didn't give you a whole lot. 94 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,179 How could he not give you a whole lot? People love him. 95 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:50,725 He's like fucking J.F.K. He's smart. He's charismatic. He's good-Iooking. 96 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,810 He's a tenacious athlete. 97 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:56,063 I'm sorry, Tad. I didn't realize you felt that way about him. 98 00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:58,190 It's sad. 99 00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:02,111 Ongatumamwe with the rebound. The man from Sudan. 100 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,988 Come on! Call that! 101 00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,573 That's a time-out. Friars. 102 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,491 Bring it in. Bring it in. 103 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,452 What's going on out there, guys? 104 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,538 Huh? You guys look like a dump that I took last Thanksgiving. 105 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:16,208 - What's the matter, Pauley? - I don't know, Coach. I'm not feeling it. 106 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:20,212 You got to feel it, son. You got to feel the flow and go. You understand? 107 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:25,259 Son, you feel, flow, go, hoop, win. Pauley, ball game. 108 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:28,929 No one understands why you got the Moore story instead of Tad Goltz. 109 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:32,224 I'm sure there's a lot you don't understand, Tad. 110 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,061 Oh, yeah? Well, I understand art when I see it. 111 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,536 Marlon Piazza, Bobby Funke. 112 00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,663 I write for the paper. I'm doing a piece on Paul Moore. 113 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,707 - I was wondering... - Piss off, dork. 114 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,506 Those gentle giants were the pillars... 115 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,591 of St. Donovan's student council. 116 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:09,887 Marlon Piazza, vice president and Francesca's step-brother. 117 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:13,599 Matt Mullen, head hall monitor and noted date rapist. 118 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:18,020 Marty Mullen, class secretary and former child underwear model. 119 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,029 Oh, God. Oh, God. You hear that pop? 120 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,740 - There was no pop. - Can we give Mr. Moore some room, please? 121 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,951 - Watch out. - You all right, Paul? 122 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,203 - Should we get him up? - Let's get him up. 123 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:37,289 Come on, Paul. Snap it up. Snap it up! 124 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:40,793 The basketball game wasn't all we lost that night. 125 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,003 Like Nixon's men at Watergate, 126 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,965 a thief crept in and stole our innocence. 127 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,654 What kind of f'in' a-hole would do something like this, Nancy? 128 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:12,324 - I don't know, sir. Should I call the police? - No. 129 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,411 Bring me the list. 130 00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:18,497 Whenever trouble came to St. Donovan's, 131 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,250 the principal rounded up the same ol' delinquents. 132 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:24,336 But that dark morning, there was one new name on the list. 133 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,339 - Bobby Funky? - Actually, it's pronounced "Funk." 134 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,842 Principal's office, now. 135 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,846 It feels nice in here. 136 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,848 My ass itches. 137 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:39,727 Who is this guy? 138 00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:42,188 - What's his name? - Bobby Funky. 139 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,356 - Franky? - Funky. 140 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,401 - Looks like a little gentleman. - He does? Look at him. 141 00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,905 - Looks like a stockbroker. - He's so little. Funky. 142 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,823 Don't look at me. 143 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,533 What happened to your face, man? 144 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:58,370 Look at it. It's like you have a culo on your face. 145 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,372 Got a culo. 146 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:04,335 Did you ever get a man on your back? 147 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,253 Breathing hard? 148 00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:09,298 Riding you like a horse? 149 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,218 No? 150 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,111 I assume you all know why you're here. 151 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,281 Let me guess. 152 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,450 You finally wanna start that boy band you've been dreaming about. 153 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,203 Landis, do I come down to the strip club where you work... 154 00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:41,288 and knock the dick out of your mouth? 155 00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:43,707 Against the wall. You're late. 156 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:48,837 Actually, um... 157 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:52,549 I'm not entirely certain why I'm here, sir. 158 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:56,345 Really? It's fascinating. 159 00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:02,017 - This is why you're here. This. - That's sick. 160 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:05,813 You've got a gum problem that's rapidly turning into an attitude problem. 161 00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,731 That's why you're here. 162 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,902 I don't like gum. 163 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,739 I don't like your snooping around. 164 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,994 You are all filth. 165 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,454 Your parents have obviously spoiled you... 166 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:27,334 or, in your case, possibly abused you a little too much. 167 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:32,214 Now, one of you little vermin... 168 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:36,051 broke into this office and stole the S.A.T.'s last night. 169 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,763 Of this I am certain. 170 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:46,228 I beg you, I beseech you do not come forward... 171 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:49,690 because I will have the pleasure of tracking you down, 172 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:54,486 much the same way that I tracked down that camel-humping ammunitions envoy... 173 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:57,281 two clicks east of Tigris, 174 00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:59,450 the birthplace of civilization. 175 00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,494 Mr. Cipriato. 176 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:07,624 - Do you know the arabic word "laa hriiq"? - No. 177 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:13,464 It means, "Don't shoot. Don't shoot." 178 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,425 You may wanna remember that. 179 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,469 Dismissed. 180 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,537 Hey, Francesca. 181 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,539 Hey, Funky. 182 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:59,635 So, um, what are you doing in the men's room? 183 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,056 Well, I thought I might find a man in here. 184 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,183 Are you a man, Funky? 185 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,610 I'm just screwing with you. 186 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,737 I just need your help. 187 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,864 With what? 188 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:24,576 Whoever stole the S.A.T.'s, I need you to find them and get them back. 189 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:31,583 I aced that thing. I know it. I was just in a zone. 190 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:36,046 - Do you know what "mastication" means? - No. 191 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:39,466 Me neither, but in that moment, I did. 192 00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:41,635 It was perfect. 193 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,846 I need you to find those tests. 194 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,932 Why me? 195 00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:52,438 I don't know. I've got a feeling about you, Funky. 196 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,523 This stuff's right up your alley. 197 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,451 So do you have any idea of who might have taken the S.A.T.'s? 198 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,536 We took the S.A.T.'s? 199 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:10,622 L... I didn't. I didn't. 200 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,625 - Did you take them? - No, I didn't take them. 201 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,752 Everyone was in their classrooms. 202 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,630 That's what all the commotion was about. 203 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,593 Okay, where were you last night? 204 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:30,225 That's where I was last night. 205 00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:53,123 # Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi-yi # 206 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:56,835 # Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi # 207 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,921 Hey, Funky. 208 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,381 Funky, want a gum ball? 209 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,717 It's good. It's soft. It's sweet. 210 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,719 I'm not falling for the gum ball trick, Cipriato. 211 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,889 So you can put your ball bag back in your pants. 212 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,767 What's it like sucking on another man's fingers? 213 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:14,978 - What's it like stealing the S.A.T.'s? - I asked you first. 214 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:18,732 # Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi # 215 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,692 Where were you that night? 216 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,861 - What do you care? - I'm writing your biography. 217 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,697 Fine. Let me copy off you, and I'll tell you. 218 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,576 Fine. 219 00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:34,039 I was at the Park Arms with my nana playing bingo. 220 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,584 I got 30 fucking geriatrics that can back that up. 221 00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:42,631 - I'm touched, Cipriato. - Not a word, Funky. 222 00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,097 After tailing Landis, 223 00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:53,100 I discovered her secret life outside of school. 224 00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,521 She opened up... 225 00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:00,774 once I promised to keep her ice capades under wraps. 226 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:03,485 I don't know who took them, Nancy Drew, 227 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:05,529 but I do know it happened during the game. 228 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,614 I was out in the parking lot last night, 229 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:11,201 and I saw some flashlights bounce around in Kirkpatrick's office. 230 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:13,620 What were you doing in the parking lot? 231 00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,747 I was probably getting fingered by Dutch Middleton. 232 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,252 Okay. 233 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,462 Thanks, Landis. 234 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,631 Long time no see, Rocky. 235 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:26,758 - Weekends and holidays, man. - Thanks. 236 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,760 Did you do it? 237 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,971 - No. You? - I wish. 238 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,765 Those tests are the tool of the racist bourgeoises. 239 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,767 Get back to your cage, butt boy. 240 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,023 Last night? Nah, man. 241 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,776 I got picked up for possession. Spent the night in holding. 242 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:50,324 It's creepy. You know. It's fucked up. Ooh. 243 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,409 That's some alibi. 244 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,621 Fuck it. Fuck it. Hold this. This is my jam, man. Ooh! 245 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,832 Gracias. 246 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,127 Ooh! 247 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,380 # I'm on the wire 248 00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:06,798 # I'm on the wire # 249 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,801 None of these bad apples had stolen the tests. 250 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:13,764 Their alibis were like Dutch ovens... gamey, but airtight. 251 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,892 Maybe I was looking at it all wrong. 252 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,977 Maybe a good kid was behind it. 253 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,812 What scares you, Funky? 254 00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:23,815 You know what scares me? Injustice. 255 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,818 You know why? Because it's everywhere. 256 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:30,656 You think I don't see Cipriato behind me jerking off right now? 257 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:34,660 He's a dead man. I'll deal with him. 258 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:38,205 But the thing about fighting injustice... 259 00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:41,416 is choosing your battles wisely, 260 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:45,837 and my battle right now is to find out where are my missing S.A.T.'s. 261 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:52,844 Now, I don't know your involvement in all of this, Funky, 262 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,347 but I'm watching you. 263 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,850 I got both eyes open, and they're on you. 264 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,645 - You read me? - Yes. Yes. 265 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:04,940 You bleed, Funky. We all bleed. 266 00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:07,734 Thank you, sir. 267 00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:13,865 Tad, am I gonna get my story on the girls bowling team any time soon? 268 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,867 Get off my fucking back, Clara. 269 00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:20,831 - Nobody gives two shits about girls bowling. - I give two shits, okay? 270 00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:24,418 How many more shits do I need to get a story from you, Tad? And Bobby? 271 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:31,299 - Yeah? - Where's my story on Paul Moore? 272 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:37,139 Paul was a good kid. 273 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,224 Maybe his bum knee wasn't so bad. 274 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,894 Maybe my puff piece was no pastry. It's on its way. 275 00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:46,857 So, um, how long, uh... 276 00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:49,025 So how did Paul's knee look that night? 277 00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,155 Okay. Why? 278 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:56,533 Well, because, Nurse Platt, Paul injured it. 279 00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,618 That's why they brought him here. 280 00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:00,412 Oh. 281 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,873 I thought he had diarrhea, 282 00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,916 but he was limping, 283 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:08,295 so I guess he did hurt his little stem. 284 00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,338 Yeah. 285 00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,384 Okay. 286 00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,678 So, um, were you... 287 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,723 here with him in the office the whole time? - Yeah. 288 00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:22,058 Well, except I got hungry, 289 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,102 and Paul said I should get something to eat. 290 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,104 His treat. 291 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:29,608 So I went across the street and got a gyro at that Greek place, 292 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,235 Little Spiro's. 293 00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:35,822 Have you ever been there? It's so good. 294 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:40,118 Do you mean to tell me that Paul was alone in here? 295 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:43,580 I mean, so good. 296 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:48,418 How long did you leave Paul on his own that night? 297 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:53,673 Um, hey, D., 298 00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:57,719 when I go get Greek food, how long does it take me? 299 00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:00,430 - About 20 minutes, a little more or less. - Mm. 300 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,474 Hey, what's up, Franky? 301 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:06,186 Just get me the sandwich. 302 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:10,732 Yeah, I want a foot-long spicy Italian sausage. That's right. 303 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,943 Yeah. I got one, and I want one. 304 00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,986 Yeah, see, that's a double entendre. 305 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:18,657 Yeah. That's right. I coached English for two seasons. 306 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,368 I got to go. I got to go. 307 00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:23,703 Ay, yi, yi. 308 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:27,123 - So where were we? - Um... Uh, Paul Moore's college prospects. 309 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,918 You know, grades have never been Paul's strong suit. 310 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,045 But if he wants to go lvy, he'll get in. 311 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:35,006 Believe me, that boy will do whatever it takes to win. 312 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:38,009 That's P.M.W. That is the Paul Moore Way. 313 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,762 P. Moore! P. Moore! 314 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,056 The coach gave me Paul's motive. 315 00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,141 The nurse, opportunity. 316 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,227 My guts said I had my guy, 317 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:50,021 but on my way home, I realized I needed an inside source... 318 00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:52,774 to back it all up. 319 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:56,528 I also needed to get my license. 320 00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:00,031 Lately, me and the D.M.V. Weren't seeing eye to eye. 321 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,033 When parking along a curb on an uphill slope, 322 00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:05,036 we turn our wheels to the... Nope. 323 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,581 When there's a yellow light, we approach the intersection at a nice... 324 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,041 Nope. 325 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:13,503 And when we come to an object in the road like... 326 00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:16,089 A dog, we... 327 00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,052 Nope. 328 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,640 I was looking for a corroboration on my story. 329 00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:29,728 Woodward and Bernstein had their Deep Throat. I needed mine. 330 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,855 Fortunately, I knew just the girl. 331 00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:33,940 She sounded hesitant on the phone... 332 00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,610 but told me where I could find her. 333 00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,239 Hey, Chrissy? 334 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,910 I'm a friend of your brother Paul. 335 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,081 No. No, you're not. 336 00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:52,626 How do you know? 337 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,087 Okay. 338 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,341 Well, um... Has Paul ever taken you to one of his games before? 339 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,677 You're a high schooler and you don't have a car? 340 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,846 Why don't you have a car? 341 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:07,349 That's irrelevant, Chrissy. 342 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:10,268 Nice sandwich. 343 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,646 I want a unicorn. 344 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:15,857 Um, neat. 345 00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:19,402 You know, when I was your age, I wanted a pet giraffe. 346 00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,988 Giraffes suck. 347 00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:26,117 Get me a unicorn, and I'll tell you so many secrets about Paul. 348 00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:28,119 Very secret secrets. 349 00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:32,040 Here's the thing, Chrissy. 350 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:34,292 Unicorns don't actually exist. 351 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,671 Stuffed animal unicorn, doofus. 352 00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:41,841 Oh. 353 00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:44,594 All right! 354 00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:53,937 Chrissy Moore was one unicorn well spent. 355 00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:56,106 After she filled in the blanks, 356 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:59,150 my story was right there in front of me, 357 00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,611 but I still had no solid proof. 358 00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:04,614 Were my hunches enough to write the article? 359 00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:11,079 Fuck it. Woodward and Bernstein. 360 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:16,167 Hey! I won't tell you again, Ongatumamwe. 361 00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:18,378 This is P. Moore shampoo. 362 00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:21,631 I've got enough clout around here to get your ass deported for less. 363 00:22:26,429 --> 00:22:28,346 You, uh, fellas here for the cockfight? 364 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:48,950 Yo. This story's gonna start, like, a friggin' coup d'état in this bitch. 365 00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:52,203 Thanks, man. I like your dreads. 366 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,884 Funky. It was nice. 367 00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:11,389 Listen. I didn't do anything. 368 00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:14,726 I didn't do anything. This is crazy. 369 00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:18,188 I didn't do anything. Hey, I'm the president. 370 00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:20,231 I'm the president. I'm Paul Moore. 371 00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:24,069 I'm Paul Moore. I didn't do any... I didn't do anything. 372 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:26,196 It's all right. I didn't do anything. Don't worry. 373 00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:28,239 Open it up. 374 00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,075 - I didn't do... - Open it up. 375 00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:40,543 I don't... I don't know where those... Those aren't Paul Moore's. 376 00:23:40,711 --> 00:23:43,254 I don't... I don't... 377 00:23:43,339 --> 00:23:45,256 I don't know how those got... 378 00:23:45,341 --> 00:23:46,716 Let's go. 379 00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:49,636 Come on, Paul. Don't fight it. 380 00:23:49,804 --> 00:23:52,305 This is crazy. I'm a... I'm a patsy. 381 00:23:52,473 --> 00:23:54,432 I'm a patsy! 382 00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:59,145 But in the end, Paul Moore kept his promise. 383 00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:03,483 He did whatever it took to get the job done, even the unthinkable. 384 00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:06,861 P.M.W., the Paul Moore Way. 385 00:24:07,029 --> 00:24:11,282 The name's Bobby Funke. I write for the paper. 386 00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:21,626 So I just want everyone to know... 387 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:24,754 that I am submitting this article to the Northwestern people... 388 00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:26,548 with my highest recommendation. 389 00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:41,354 - Whoa! - Funky! 390 00:24:41,522 --> 00:24:44,941 I wanted to thank you for finding the S.A.T.'s... 391 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:47,443 and for showing me what a douche Paul really is. 392 00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:53,032 See, the thing is, I seem to have lost my date to homecoming, 393 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,118 and I wanted to know if you'd go with me. 394 00:24:55,286 --> 00:24:58,329 - You wanna go to homecoming with me? - Well, not like, "Go, go." 395 00:24:58,497 --> 00:24:59,873 - Not like for real. - Yeah. 396 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,792 - Everyone has a date, except the mathletes... - Right. 397 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:06,087 And then maybe that wrestler with the jock itch on his face. 398 00:25:06,255 --> 00:25:10,300 So, yeah. The only person I can go with is you. 399 00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:13,344 I still don't see... 400 00:25:13,429 --> 00:25:15,597 why you wanna go with me. 401 00:25:15,764 --> 00:25:18,349 Yeah, why not? You're like the school's Wolf Blitzer now. 402 00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:20,935 Well, Wolf Blitzer's like a TV reporter. 403 00:25:21,103 --> 00:25:23,354 I'm into Woodward and Bernstein. 404 00:25:23,439 --> 00:25:25,899 You already have a date? 405 00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:28,818 What? No. I just... 406 00:25:28,986 --> 00:25:32,447 Great. Then you can pick me up at 8:00. 407 00:25:32,615 --> 00:25:35,742 Oh, and no wrist corsages. Get the kind with the pin. 408 00:25:35,910 --> 00:25:38,369 I don't mind a little prick every once in a while. 409 00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:44,751 St. Donovan's, good morning. This is your principal, Mr. Kirkpatrick. 410 00:25:44,919 --> 00:25:48,463 As you know, uh, there's been a regime change here at the school, 411 00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:51,841 and your new president, Marlon "Piezza," is gonna say a few words. 412 00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:53,384 - Piazza. - What? 413 00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:55,136 Marlon Piazza. 414 00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:58,389 - What, is that Italian? - Uh, I think so. 415 00:25:58,474 --> 00:26:01,684 Marlon Piazza is gonna say a few words to you, so stand by. 416 00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:04,312 You're on the air. No f'in around, huh? 417 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,398 Thank you, sir. 418 00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:09,400 Fellow students, 419 00:26:09,485 --> 00:26:13,363 this has been a difficult time for all of us. 420 00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:16,407 But do not lose faith in this institution, 421 00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:20,411 because from great tragedy comes great triumph. 422 00:26:20,496 --> 00:26:25,208 Let me be the first to say that the actions of your next president... 423 00:26:31,507 --> 00:26:33,967 It's open. 424 00:26:49,984 --> 00:26:51,859 Hey, Marlon. 425 00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:15,717 So is it true that she got a perfect score on her S.A.T.'s? 426 00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:18,052 Yeah. Her freshman year. 427 00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:20,555 I'll let you play with her tits for 20 bucks. 428 00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:27,186 Hi, Funky. You're good. 429 00:27:27,354 --> 00:27:29,439 It's a nice place you got here. 430 00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:32,066 Have a good look while you can. 431 00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:34,485 I doubt you'd be coming by again. 432 00:27:47,458 --> 00:27:50,251 I guess that I should congratulate you on your new presidency. 433 00:27:50,419 --> 00:27:54,422 Isn't it funny how someone can be your average cakewalk V.P. One day... 434 00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:56,507 and then head of the school the next? 435 00:27:56,592 --> 00:28:00,511 Yeah. It's like how someone can be the school joke one day... 436 00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:03,514 and then go to homecoming with the hottest girl at St. Donovan's the next. 437 00:28:03,599 --> 00:28:05,516 She's, like, your half sister, right? 438 00:28:05,601 --> 00:28:06,768 Stepsister. 439 00:28:08,604 --> 00:28:10,521 Hey, Funky. 440 00:28:10,606 --> 00:28:12,565 Hey, Francesca. 441 00:28:15,778 --> 00:28:20,531 Wow. You look... awesome. 442 00:28:20,616 --> 00:28:23,534 Thanks. You look pretty good yourself. 443 00:28:23,619 --> 00:28:26,204 I like your shoes. 444 00:28:26,372 --> 00:28:30,124 Oh, she doesn't have to go to the hospital again, does she? 445 00:28:30,292 --> 00:28:31,542 Nyah. 446 00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:33,336 Is your car out front? 447 00:28:33,504 --> 00:28:37,507 Oh, well, it's such a nice night, I thought that we could walk. 448 00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:44,597 ♪ 449 00:28:56,527 --> 00:28:58,778 # I'm coming up only 450 00:28:58,946 --> 00:29:01,614 # To hold you under 451 00:29:01,782 --> 00:29:06,661 Sorry about that. I just can't seem to get away from my friends sometimes. 452 00:29:06,829 --> 00:29:08,663 # I'm coming up only 453 00:29:08,831 --> 00:29:11,541 Yeah. I know what you mean. 454 00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:14,460 You still want that dance? 455 00:29:16,713 --> 00:29:19,298 ♪ Quantum physics is bullshit. 456 00:29:19,466 --> 00:29:22,969 You know? You don't know what is inside of a black hole, 457 00:29:23,137 --> 00:29:27,890 because, you know, stuff goes in, 458 00:29:28,058 --> 00:29:30,726 but nothing comes out. 459 00:29:30,894 --> 00:29:33,771 Just like Laura Hoffner's box. 460 00:29:33,939 --> 00:29:36,107 Mm-hmm. 461 00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:39,485 # To the outside 462 00:29:39,653 --> 00:29:43,406 # The dead leaves They are alive # 463 00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:50,079 # For they don't have trees 464 00:29:50,247 --> 00:29:55,585 # To hang their hearts 465 00:29:55,711 --> 00:29:58,629 # Ooh, ooh 466 00:29:58,714 --> 00:30:01,632 ♪ You think I'm a bitch, don't you? 467 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:05,887 I mean, you can be honest. I don't care either way. I'm just curious. 468 00:30:07,097 --> 00:30:09,640 Do you think I'm a bitch? 469 00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:12,435 Um... 470 00:30:12,603 --> 00:30:14,520 Kind of. 471 00:30:14,688 --> 00:30:17,231 - Seriously? - No. No. L... 472 00:30:17,399 --> 00:30:19,650 I thought you were, but... And then... 473 00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:22,945 I don't know. Now I think that maybe you're just... 474 00:30:23,113 --> 00:30:25,656 Misunderstood. 475 00:30:27,117 --> 00:30:29,452 Nobody's misunderstood. 476 00:30:29,620 --> 00:30:32,622 That's just what people say when they don't like who they are. 477 00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:40,213 If you think I'm a bitch, then I guess it's because I am. 478 00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:42,673 But then I guess you're gonna have to come to terms... 479 00:30:42,758 --> 00:30:45,843 with the fact that you're into a girl who's a bitch. 480 00:30:47,804 --> 00:30:50,139 Well, how do you feel about newspaper dorks? 481 00:30:50,307 --> 00:30:53,142 I'll let you know when I see one. 482 00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:55,811 # And every occasion of 483 00:30:55,979 --> 00:30:59,899 # One brilliant day funeral # 484 00:31:05,614 --> 00:31:07,448 Great. ♪ 485 00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:11,577 You know, I better go get Marlon before Kirkpatrick castrates him. 486 00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:15,581 Thanks for the dance, Funky. 487 00:31:17,167 --> 00:31:18,668 # You got to rock to the rhythm with 'em # 488 00:31:18,794 --> 00:31:20,211 # You got to give it to 'em 489 00:31:20,379 --> 00:31:22,588 # Got to give a lot More than the minimum # 490 00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:23,798 # Rock to the rhythm with 'em # 491 00:31:23,966 --> 00:31:25,132 # Got to give it to 'em 492 00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:27,426 # Got to give a lot More, more, more, more # 493 00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:29,804 # Hey, yo, wake up, wake up It's a new day # 494 00:31:29,972 --> 00:31:33,015 # Now, sidestep, right, left flow when I break down # 495 00:31:33,183 --> 00:31:35,601 # How I get down Make 'em all sit down # 496 00:31:35,769 --> 00:31:38,437 # Either that, or I'll have to hurry into strip town # 497 00:31:38,605 --> 00:31:40,398 Hey, douche. 498 00:31:40,566 --> 00:31:42,900 I think that chick just "wink-ed" at me. 499 00:31:44,278 --> 00:31:46,737 - Well, she's not bad. - Yeah, for a pirate. 500 00:31:48,574 --> 00:31:50,741 I'm gonna go spit in the punch. 501 00:31:53,829 --> 00:31:57,248 Hey. You, uh, light on your feet, Funky. 502 00:31:57,416 --> 00:31:58,833 - That's good. - Thanks. 503 00:31:59,001 --> 00:32:00,918 But we notice you're having a problem out there. 504 00:32:01,086 --> 00:32:02,545 I do? What? 505 00:32:02,713 --> 00:32:04,547 ♪ It's your hard-on. 506 00:32:04,715 --> 00:32:07,675 Yeah. That close to a girl like her, it's natural. 507 00:32:07,843 --> 00:32:10,344 I didn't realize it was so obvious. 508 00:32:10,512 --> 00:32:12,763 What you're gonna wanna do, okay, 509 00:32:12,848 --> 00:32:16,642 is you tuck that thing into the side of your boxer shorts so it runs down the leg. 510 00:32:16,810 --> 00:32:18,936 That way you can contain it. 511 00:32:19,104 --> 00:32:22,023 It's like getting a stiff rod while you're taking a dump. 512 00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:23,566 A shit boner. 513 00:32:23,734 --> 00:32:26,152 Then you got to jam it into the bowl like it owes you money. 514 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,530 But you don't want to dunk it. It's not a clown. Woop! 515 00:32:29,698 --> 00:32:33,034 But you also don't want to get the peepee on your shirt. 516 00:32:33,201 --> 00:32:35,077 It's a no-win situation. 517 00:32:38,957 --> 00:32:42,960 At ease, gentlemen. Erections or otherwise. 518 00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:47,089 I remember similar conversations with my men... 519 00:32:47,257 --> 00:32:50,343 when we were tracking the towel heads through their tariques. 520 00:32:52,054 --> 00:32:55,348 Pitch-black little spider holes, no wider than a hula hoop. 521 00:32:55,515 --> 00:32:59,185 The... Like the Charlotte... The web. 522 00:32:59,353 --> 00:33:01,437 - The... In... - Do you understand what he's saying? 523 00:33:03,899 --> 00:33:06,817 Fear, Mr. Delacruz. That's what I'm talking about. Fear. 524 00:33:06,902 --> 00:33:08,569 Sí. 525 00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:13,824 Fear is the middle name of war, Mr. Delacruz. I learned that in the Storm. 526 00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:16,035 What is the Storm, sir? 527 00:33:18,580 --> 00:33:22,917 Two hundred and thirteen days in-country. Terrible heat. 528 00:33:23,085 --> 00:33:27,421 The sound of mortar fire day and night ringing in your ears. 529 00:33:28,924 --> 00:33:30,841 The occasional dog exploding. 530 00:33:30,926 --> 00:33:33,219 - Yeah? - But I used to lead men, 531 00:33:33,387 --> 00:33:35,846 men that reminded me of you, Mr. Funky. 532 00:33:37,933 --> 00:33:39,934 - On your feet, son. - Oh. 533 00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:46,857 I wanna thank you for your help in getting those S.A.T.'s back. 534 00:33:47,025 --> 00:33:49,860 Yeah. Don't worry about it. 535 00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:53,906 - I'm sorry for being such a jerk-off. - It's okay. 536 00:33:54,074 --> 00:33:58,869 If I ever catch you chewing that in class, I'll kill you. 537 00:33:58,995 --> 00:34:01,872 - You read me? - Like CliffNotes, sir. 538 00:34:01,957 --> 00:34:05,126 Good. Go out there and have a good time. 539 00:34:20,976 --> 00:34:22,059 How's it feel? 540 00:34:22,227 --> 00:34:24,645 Like I just got punched in the mouth. 541 00:34:24,813 --> 00:34:26,731 My life is over now, dick. 542 00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:28,816 I didn't steal those S.A.T.'s. 543 00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:31,902 Then where were you between 7:45 and 8: 10 that night? 544 00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:35,656 Who the hell do you think you are? Inspector Gadget? 545 00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:39,243 You really think I'd chance everything for a test score? 546 00:34:39,411 --> 00:34:41,871 I'd already gotten into Cornell. 547 00:34:41,997 --> 00:34:44,415 Then why did you take the S.A.T.'s again? 548 00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:47,793 I just wanted to see if I could do better. 549 00:34:47,961 --> 00:34:51,630 Man, you wouldn't know the truth if it were staring you in the face. 550 00:35:00,599 --> 00:35:03,434 Hello, Cornell. Good-bye, motive. 551 00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:05,519 I still thought Paul was an asshole, 552 00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:09,482 but maybe he wasn't the kind of asshole who'd steal the S.A.T.'s. 553 00:35:09,649 --> 00:35:13,778 That sting wasn't my mouth. I was starting to doubt my story. 554 00:35:16,990 --> 00:35:20,034 Well done, Bobby. You got into the Northwestern program. 555 00:35:23,789 --> 00:35:25,623 Wait. One more thing. 556 00:35:25,791 --> 00:35:28,876 Some grad student, Striedel, will be in contact to fact-check the article. 557 00:35:29,044 --> 00:35:32,129 It's just a formality. You're on your way. 558 00:35:37,552 --> 00:35:40,221 Sure I was on my way, to the gallows. 559 00:35:40,388 --> 00:35:43,641 If I didn't set the story straight before the fact-checker found something crooked, 560 00:35:43,809 --> 00:35:46,101 Northwestern would go south, 561 00:35:46,269 --> 00:35:48,896 and then I'd be blacklisted from every paper and college journalism program... 562 00:35:49,064 --> 00:35:50,981 in the country. 563 00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:55,069 And school suspension... 564 00:35:55,237 --> 00:35:59,573 cruel and unusual punishment reserved solely for dangerous offenders. 565 00:35:59,741 --> 00:36:01,659 Rocky was on permanent lockdown... 566 00:36:01,827 --> 00:36:04,995 for doing a custom paint job on Kirkpatrick's car. 567 00:36:18,468 --> 00:36:21,178 I'm gonna need five minutes with Moore. 568 00:36:23,348 --> 00:36:25,224 You got three. 569 00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:37,152 Aren't you supposed to be in homeroom? 570 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,489 - Maybe I got to thinking. - Maybe you should've done that sooner. 571 00:36:47,581 --> 00:36:49,373 Where were you that night? 572 00:36:49,541 --> 00:36:51,542 You think it's that easy? 573 00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:54,920 You think I can just tell you and it's gonna set it all straight? 574 00:36:55,088 --> 00:36:57,548 Take a look around you, Funky. 575 00:36:57,716 --> 00:37:01,051 - I'm screwed now no matter what I say. - Then just tell me the truth. 576 00:37:06,975 --> 00:37:11,353 If you didn't do it, I'm all you got. 577 00:37:11,521 --> 00:37:14,106 And you only got me for one more minute, so spill it. 578 00:37:14,274 --> 00:37:16,150 Come on. 579 00:37:20,822 --> 00:37:23,115 Last year I did some things on the basketball court... 580 00:37:23,283 --> 00:37:25,200 I'm not exactly proud of. 581 00:37:25,368 --> 00:37:26,785 Like what? 582 00:37:26,953 --> 00:37:30,748 Like shaving points. Twice last season. 583 00:37:30,916 --> 00:37:34,919 It was two times too many, and I only did it 'cause I needed the money. 584 00:37:37,172 --> 00:37:39,715 - What for? - It doesn't matter. 585 00:37:39,883 --> 00:37:43,969 When I was approached this year, I turned 'em down. 586 00:37:44,137 --> 00:37:47,681 We had a shot at State. I wasn't gonna mess that up for my senior year. 587 00:37:47,849 --> 00:37:50,100 So this person who approached you, 588 00:37:50,226 --> 00:37:53,103 you think that... that, uh, he may have set you up? 589 00:37:53,188 --> 00:37:56,649 I don't know. Maybe. 590 00:38:04,324 --> 00:38:07,201 Give me his name. What's his name, Moore? 591 00:38:07,369 --> 00:38:11,497 Look, if you don't get cooperative, I can't help you. 592 00:38:11,665 --> 00:38:14,500 - You've got to give me his name now. - Start thinking with your head. 593 00:38:14,668 --> 00:38:17,002 Do you know the amount of power that comes with the presidency? 594 00:38:17,170 --> 00:38:19,672 - Everybody wants a piece of me. - All right. Time's up, Funky. 595 00:38:19,839 --> 00:38:22,758 You're getting the animals all riled up. 596 00:38:24,636 --> 00:38:27,221 What's his name, Moore? 597 00:38:27,389 --> 00:38:30,140 - Look, I said time's up. - Give me his name. 598 00:38:30,225 --> 00:38:32,059 - Come on. - What's his name? 599 00:38:32,227 --> 00:38:35,145 - Freddy Bismark. - Where do I find him? Moore! 600 00:38:43,279 --> 00:38:46,991 Bobby Funky, please report to the office immediately. 601 00:38:48,994 --> 00:38:50,911 - Hello? - Robert Funky? 602 00:38:51,079 --> 00:38:53,622 Hey. Yeah. Well, actually, it's pronounced "Funk." 603 00:38:53,790 --> 00:38:56,542 No, it's not. This is Ben Striedel at Northwestern University. 604 00:38:56,710 --> 00:38:58,669 I'm fact-checking your story here, chief. 605 00:38:58,837 --> 00:39:01,964 - It's not bad. Not exactly good either. - Excuse me? 606 00:39:02,132 --> 00:39:04,174 So I'm gonna need the following from you. 607 00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:06,927 Transcriptions of your interviews, a bibliography, 608 00:39:07,095 --> 00:39:09,722 M.L.A. Style match, your notes, pretty much anything pertaining to the story. 609 00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:12,057 Ah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sure. 610 00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:15,144 Um, I'm just gonna need some time to get it together. 611 00:39:15,270 --> 00:39:17,146 So can I get your number or something? 612 00:39:17,272 --> 00:39:19,148 No. 613 00:39:19,274 --> 00:39:21,191 What? Hello? 614 00:39:29,284 --> 00:39:31,785 I had to find Freddy Bismark, 615 00:39:31,953 --> 00:39:35,497 and there was one place I knew I could track down even the most elusive characters. 616 00:39:35,665 --> 00:39:37,583 It's freaky, isn't it? 617 00:39:37,751 --> 00:39:41,962 Apparently, they just got results back from the S.A.T.'s. 618 00:39:42,130 --> 00:39:46,216 - Some of our best and brightest bummed it. - Really? 619 00:39:46,301 --> 00:39:49,678 - You see Shamus Finnle over there? - Uh-huh. 620 00:39:49,846 --> 00:39:51,680 His teeth are chattering. 621 00:39:51,848 --> 00:39:54,141 It's probably from the Prylert. 622 00:39:54,309 --> 00:39:57,227 Oh, really? I didn't know that Shamus had A.D.D. 623 00:39:57,312 --> 00:39:59,730 For a reporter, you're really out of the loop. 624 00:39:59,898 --> 00:40:03,233 Half the school is taking Prylert right now... 625 00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:05,235 or Axitol, Ripenol, maybe Faldox. 626 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:07,946 All just nice words for speed. 627 00:40:08,114 --> 00:40:10,574 If a kid needs a study aid, he'll find a way to get one. 628 00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:13,994 - Shamus Finnle. - It's supply and demand, son. 629 00:40:16,247 --> 00:40:18,832 I found Bobby Bismark where all high school graduates... 630 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,876 go on to live in infamy. 631 00:40:22,462 --> 00:40:24,379 They say a picture is worth a thousand words, 632 00:40:24,547 --> 00:40:27,257 but his senior quote is worth a goddamn encyclopedia. 633 00:40:27,342 --> 00:40:29,259 "Dollar, dollar bills, y'all." 634 00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:31,428 You're not supposed to be looking at that. 635 00:40:31,596 --> 00:40:35,265 It's called study hall because you're supposed to study. 636 00:40:35,391 --> 00:40:37,309 What are you, a cop? 637 00:40:50,907 --> 00:40:55,119 ♪ 638 00:41:25,483 --> 00:41:28,193 Ah, I'm looking for the business. 639 00:41:28,361 --> 00:41:32,072 ♪ 640 00:41:37,078 --> 00:41:40,497 And no. No, you cannot pay me back on your meal card. 641 00:41:40,665 --> 00:41:43,500 I need cash. This is a business I'm running. 642 00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:46,712 I know it's your bar mitzvah money, but I have to take it. 643 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:50,090 You lost the bet. 644 00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:53,343 Yes. I will take... Yes, I'll take a check. 645 00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:56,096 But if it bounces, I'm coming after you. 646 00:41:56,264 --> 00:42:00,642 This is real stuff. You owe me 20 bucks. Good-bye. 647 00:42:02,645 --> 00:42:05,814 Uh, I'm sorry. We're closed for the semester. No more pledges. 648 00:42:05,982 --> 00:42:07,983 I'm here about Paul Moore. 649 00:42:09,444 --> 00:42:12,529 Suck it! Let me explain something to you. 650 00:42:12,697 --> 00:42:15,365 I don't know thing one about Paul Moore. 651 00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:17,868 His name means nothing to me. 652 00:42:18,036 --> 00:42:20,871 I have kids on over half the teams in this district. 653 00:42:21,039 --> 00:42:25,125 And most pill poppers are begging me to throw games. 654 00:42:25,293 --> 00:42:27,377 And if I had to go out and personally frame each one... 655 00:42:27,462 --> 00:42:29,379 that didn't wanna brick a layup for me, 656 00:42:29,464 --> 00:42:31,673 I wouldn't have time to spend the money that I make. 657 00:42:31,841 --> 00:42:35,719 And as you can see, I like spending the money that I make. 658 00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:40,390 I mean, look around. That painting is from the Sixteenth chapel. 659 00:42:40,475 --> 00:42:42,392 That's the first chapel ever. 660 00:42:42,477 --> 00:42:44,478 So, what was the money for? 661 00:42:44,646 --> 00:42:46,647 Oh, my God, I'm gonna slap you in the face. 662 00:42:46,814 --> 00:42:48,982 I don't know. He was having girl problems. 663 00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:52,444 - What's that supposed to mean? - He was having problems with girls. All right? 664 00:42:52,612 --> 00:42:54,655 Come on. For a fellow Friar? 665 00:42:54,822 --> 00:42:59,034 No. Not for a fellow Friar. For you to get the fuck out of here. Okay? 666 00:42:59,202 --> 00:43:01,328 It was some chick from McKinley. That's all I know. 667 00:43:01,496 --> 00:43:03,747 Now, I'll see you, little man. 668 00:43:03,915 --> 00:43:07,042 Don't hurt yourselves. 669 00:43:09,963 --> 00:43:12,089 If Freddy Bismark didn't frame Paul, 670 00:43:12,257 --> 00:43:14,967 then maybe the girl problem was behind it. 671 00:43:16,511 --> 00:43:19,429 - There's the ol' wise guy. - Elliot. 672 00:43:19,514 --> 00:43:22,516 - Those pubes come in yet? - You still eating your mom's dirty tampons? 673 00:43:22,684 --> 00:43:25,811 - Only when I'm hungry. - So as I was saying on the phone, 674 00:43:25,979 --> 00:43:29,231 I managed to implicate our school president in a sordid theft... 675 00:43:29,399 --> 00:43:32,109 and in the process steal his girlfriend. 676 00:43:32,277 --> 00:43:34,444 - So what's the problem? - Bitch. 677 00:43:34,529 --> 00:43:37,990 I'm not sure the guy did it anymore. 678 00:43:38,157 --> 00:43:40,617 Have you ever seen this guy around? 679 00:43:40,785 --> 00:43:42,703 Yeah. That's Valerie's boyfriend. 680 00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:46,707 - You're dating Valerie? - The plot thickens, Elliot. 681 00:43:46,874 --> 00:43:49,418 Oh, I get it, peach fuzz. 682 00:43:49,544 --> 00:43:52,921 You think maybe I got tired of being Paul's little plaything, thought I'd teach him a lesson. 683 00:43:53,089 --> 00:43:54,923 It wasn't like that. 684 00:43:55,091 --> 00:43:59,469 - What... What do you mean? - Paul and I have something real. Okay? 685 00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:01,471 He can be himself around me. 686 00:44:01,556 --> 00:44:04,099 So what was the money for then? 687 00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:07,477 That's got nothing to do with anything. 688 00:44:07,562 --> 00:44:10,397 Look, Valerie, 689 00:44:10,565 --> 00:44:14,026 if Paul's innocent, then you can help him by helping me. 690 00:44:21,075 --> 00:44:25,287 Okay. You ready for the after-school special they call my life? 691 00:44:25,455 --> 00:44:29,666 I owed money to some unpleasant people. 692 00:44:29,834 --> 00:44:32,419 They were ready to collect on me as interest. 693 00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:34,838 Paul wouldn't stand for it. 694 00:44:35,006 --> 00:44:37,507 Someone tells me about Freddy Bismark. 695 00:44:37,592 --> 00:44:40,552 Paul has two off nights. 696 00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:44,139 - My debt goes away. - Paul threw two games for you? 697 00:44:46,601 --> 00:44:50,354 He would've thrown the entire season if I asked him to. 698 00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:54,274 Valerie was another dead end. 699 00:44:54,442 --> 00:44:56,902 If Paul was keeping her a secret, 700 00:44:57,070 --> 00:44:59,529 I wondered what else he was holding back on. 701 00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:20,175 I know some of you kids know... 702 00:45:20,343 --> 00:45:23,553 that I fought in Desert Storm. 703 00:45:23,638 --> 00:45:25,555 And you know why? I fought for you kids, 704 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:27,599 and I fought for this country and this school, 705 00:45:27,767 --> 00:45:29,601 for St. Donovan's. 706 00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:32,020 It's no joke. 707 00:45:32,188 --> 00:45:34,564 Sometimes... I don't know... I may get carried away. 708 00:45:34,732 --> 00:45:38,110 But I wrote this song last night. Sing it with me. 709 00:45:38,277 --> 00:45:40,362 You can sing it. You can march. Yeah. 710 00:45:40,530 --> 00:45:42,572 Come on, kids. Sing it with me. 711 00:45:42,740 --> 00:45:44,533 # American 712 00:45:44,659 --> 00:45:46,451 # That's what I am 713 00:45:46,619 --> 00:45:48,036 # American 714 00:45:48,204 --> 00:45:49,621 # Fightin' in the sand # 715 00:45:49,789 --> 00:45:51,289 What's going on? 716 00:45:51,457 --> 00:45:53,542 Kirkpatrick's on some school spirit rampage. 717 00:45:53,668 --> 00:45:56,920 - I fought over there. - He canceled a.m. Classes to have a pep rally. 718 00:45:57,088 --> 00:46:00,173 - Yeah. - Merci, Kirkpatrick. 719 00:46:00,341 --> 00:46:02,134 # That's what I am 720 00:46:02,301 --> 00:46:03,969 # American 721 00:46:04,137 --> 00:46:07,764 - # Fighting in the sand, yeah - # American 722 00:46:07,932 --> 00:46:11,601 You can sing if you want! March if you want! # American 723 00:46:11,686 --> 00:46:13,937 # Fighting in the sand 724 00:46:14,105 --> 00:46:17,691 - # American - # That's what I am 725 00:46:17,859 --> 00:46:22,362 # American # We'll make our stand 726 00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:26,700 - # American - # Fighting in the sand 727 00:46:26,868 --> 00:46:30,620 - # American - # That's what I am # 728 00:46:30,705 --> 00:46:33,415 Moore. 729 00:46:33,583 --> 00:46:37,752 Come on. Whoo! 730 00:46:43,718 --> 00:46:45,927 And on that note, St. Donovan's... 731 00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:49,639 Marlon Piazza. 732 00:47:03,738 --> 00:47:06,656 For far too long we've stood as a school divided. 733 00:47:06,741 --> 00:47:10,744 Today, let us stand together. 734 00:47:14,624 --> 00:47:17,542 Let's create a better tomorrow. 735 00:47:17,710 --> 00:47:21,546 As I stand here today, I don't see freshmen or sophomores. 736 00:47:31,432 --> 00:47:34,476 I see Friars! 737 00:47:44,779 --> 00:47:48,323 - Marlon, can you hear me? - It's a paintball, you pussy. 738 00:47:53,538 --> 00:47:58,458 - # To the bottom, dear I had to fall # - This way! This way, children! 739 00:47:58,626 --> 00:48:01,044 # But you really caught me 740 00:48:01,212 --> 00:48:03,046 I'm hit! 741 00:48:03,214 --> 00:48:08,843 # You really caught me, dear at the bottom where I fall # 742 00:48:13,015 --> 00:48:15,684 - Moore! - # Slowly, dear 743 00:48:15,810 --> 00:48:20,272 # I ask would you dance with me # 744 00:48:20,439 --> 00:48:22,440 # Here's the shades down 745 00:48:23,693 --> 00:48:28,738 # The lights off # 746 00:48:36,831 --> 00:48:40,875 I'm gonna go to the vending machine for some pretzels. 747 00:48:41,043 --> 00:48:43,628 Do you want anything from downstairs? 748 00:48:43,796 --> 00:48:45,672 How about a bandage? 749 00:48:49,552 --> 00:48:52,554 Forget it. 750 00:49:07,111 --> 00:49:10,405 - Nurse Platt's phone. - I got word your boy shot some kids. 751 00:49:10,573 --> 00:49:13,575 How does that sit with the facts of your story, I'd like to ask, Funky? 752 00:49:13,743 --> 00:49:16,369 Striedel? How the hell did you... 753 00:49:16,537 --> 00:49:20,165 I have not... yes, yes... have not received your notes on the story, boss. 754 00:49:20,333 --> 00:49:25,295 Well, yeah, I know. I've been doing some-some backtracking to, you know, locate everything. 755 00:49:25,463 --> 00:49:29,674 Backtracking, huh? There was a kid a few years back, said he was doing backtracking. 756 00:49:29,842 --> 00:49:31,801 Turned out he fabricated the whole story to get into the program. 757 00:49:31,886 --> 00:49:34,763 They kicked him out, of course. Blackballed him. 758 00:49:34,889 --> 00:49:38,808 Last I heard, he was working as a pharma- ceutical test subject for carpel tunnel syndrome. 759 00:49:38,893 --> 00:49:43,188 Your story's thin, kid. Do you really think you can pull one over on Ben Striedel? 760 00:49:43,356 --> 00:49:45,231 I want your notes, stat. 761 00:49:51,906 --> 00:49:54,908 Hey. 762 00:49:55,076 --> 00:49:58,078 There's, um, something that I need to tell you. 763 00:49:58,245 --> 00:50:00,372 Not before I get to say thank you. 764 00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,749 For what? 765 00:50:02,917 --> 00:50:05,210 For saving my life out there. 766 00:50:06,462 --> 00:50:08,505 It was just a paintball gun. 767 00:50:08,673 --> 00:50:11,716 Yeah, but you didn't know that, did you? 768 00:50:11,884 --> 00:50:13,843 Look, Francesca, 769 00:50:14,011 --> 00:50:19,182 as an ethical journalist and a man who's dedicated to the truth, 770 00:50:19,350 --> 00:50:22,936 I think you should know that your boyfriend was probably... 771 00:50:29,193 --> 00:50:32,195 He's not my boyfriend. 772 00:50:32,363 --> 00:50:34,406 Now, what did you want to tell me? 773 00:50:48,587 --> 00:50:51,047 Nice shooting out there, Mr. Moore. 774 00:50:51,215 --> 00:50:54,884 Another three inches to the left and you would have had a kill shot on me. 775 00:50:54,969 --> 00:50:59,347 You got this all wrong. I didn't steal the S.A.T.'s. 776 00:51:01,100 --> 00:51:05,770 - Anything else? - Yeah. This place sucks! 777 00:51:06,981 --> 00:51:09,941 Oh, you'll be sucking soon enough, Mr. Moore. 778 00:51:10,109 --> 00:51:13,445 # I got the hots for you 779 00:51:17,366 --> 00:51:20,660 They locked Paul away at some undisclosed private institution. 780 00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:25,290 My story put him there. Now it was my job to get him out. 781 00:51:27,001 --> 00:51:29,919 # I got the hots for you 782 00:51:30,004 --> 00:51:31,921 I'll tell you whatever you want to know. 783 00:51:36,969 --> 00:51:41,014 # Here I am 784 00:51:41,182 --> 00:51:45,477 # Looking out on a 785 00:51:45,644 --> 00:51:49,814 # Crystal world # 786 00:51:56,030 --> 00:51:58,114 Meds three times a day. 787 00:52:01,118 --> 00:52:02,994 P.M.W. 788 00:52:05,873 --> 00:52:08,333 Paul Moore Way. 789 00:52:08,501 --> 00:52:10,960 Paul, I need your help. 790 00:52:11,045 --> 00:52:13,838 I know someone framed you for stealing the S.A.T.'s, 791 00:52:14,006 --> 00:52:18,635 but I just don't know who. 792 00:52:18,803 --> 00:52:20,970 Who do you think framed you? 793 00:52:21,055 --> 00:52:23,723 Who set you up? Come on, Paul. 794 00:52:26,060 --> 00:52:27,977 Are you here to take me home? 795 00:52:31,649 --> 00:52:33,525 After three hours, 796 00:52:33,692 --> 00:52:37,487 the only thing I got out of Paul was a sinking feeling in my stomach. 797 00:52:37,655 --> 00:52:39,989 All right, Mitch, we're looking for weapons, obviously, 798 00:52:40,074 --> 00:52:41,991 anything that can kill a student. 799 00:52:42,076 --> 00:52:46,830 Knives, guns, what's not always obvious. 800 00:52:46,997 --> 00:52:49,207 Are you kidding me? You know about the rule about gum! 801 00:52:49,375 --> 00:52:52,585 Raise your arms, please. With the women, you want to use the backs of the hands. 802 00:52:52,753 --> 00:52:54,587 The backs of the hands, Mitch. 803 00:52:54,755 --> 00:52:59,551 Last rule, most important rule. You're gonna wanna fuck 'em. 804 00:52:59,718 --> 00:53:03,012 Do not fuck the students. Do you understand? 805 00:53:03,138 --> 00:53:06,015 The scene of the crime. 806 00:53:06,100 --> 00:53:09,352 Give a lunatic a paintball gun and you'd expect a Jackson Pollack. 807 00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:13,773 But Paul was more precise. Every shot counted. 808 00:53:13,941 --> 00:53:17,902 But for what? Francesca? That's easy. She broke his heart. 809 00:53:18,070 --> 00:53:20,029 Me? I broke the story. 810 00:53:20,114 --> 00:53:22,156 Kirkpatrick, mercy killing. 811 00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:24,784 But what about Alex Schneider, the school treasurer? 812 00:53:24,952 --> 00:53:27,120 What about Marlon and the Mullens? 813 00:53:27,288 --> 00:53:30,039 They were his friends and fellow members of the student council. 814 00:53:30,165 --> 00:53:34,043 If Paul's painting meant something, maybe those guys could explain it to me. 815 00:53:34,128 --> 00:53:37,130 Yo, check it out. It's that slut, Laura Hoffman. 816 00:53:37,298 --> 00:53:40,049 Oh, dude, you don't even want to know what I did to that ass. 817 00:53:40,175 --> 00:53:44,053 Probably the same thing I did to your mom's ass. 818 00:53:44,138 --> 00:53:48,141 Dude, that's mom. Our mom. 819 00:53:48,309 --> 00:53:51,060 Yeah. No. Yo, check it out. 820 00:53:51,145 --> 00:53:53,396 I got this move that I like to call the "operator." 821 00:53:53,564 --> 00:53:56,357 Right? It's when I'm, uh, railing a girl. 822 00:53:56,525 --> 00:53:58,401 Then I reach down and steal her cell phone... 823 00:53:58,569 --> 00:54:01,404 and call up her dad so he can listen to me do her. 824 00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:04,949 Oh, yeah, Daddy. Oh, yes, man. 825 00:54:07,161 --> 00:54:09,287 - Are you lost, freshman? - Son of a bi... 826 00:54:11,123 --> 00:54:13,625 - Why'd he shoot you, Marlon? - He shot you too, didn't he? 827 00:54:13,792 --> 00:54:18,463 - Yeah, but he shot you first. - Hey, you want detention for life, fuck-face? 828 00:54:18,631 --> 00:54:21,549 Hey, Funky, why don't you, uh... why don't you come to my house on Friday? 829 00:54:21,717 --> 00:54:23,760 - I'm gonna have a little party. - No, dude. Come on. 830 00:54:23,928 --> 00:54:29,474 It's okay. I mean, he just wants to ask me some questions, right, for the school paper? 831 00:54:29,642 --> 00:54:33,519 I don't want to get on his bad side. We all saw what happened to Moore. 832 00:54:52,206 --> 00:54:55,249 ♪ 833 00:55:11,308 --> 00:55:13,518 Funky, you made it. 834 00:55:16,313 --> 00:55:18,147 So this is a party. 835 00:55:18,315 --> 00:55:20,566 Yeah, well, you knew enough to be fashionably late. 836 00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:23,528 Well, no, actually, I had a flat tire, so... 837 00:55:23,696 --> 00:55:26,489 Twenty bucks says that toothpaste doesn't do a goddamn thing. 838 00:55:26,657 --> 00:55:29,617 - I'll fucking smoke it myself. - Smoke it down, bro. 839 00:55:29,785 --> 00:55:35,373 - You want a beer? - I have to get up early for my driver's test. 840 00:55:37,584 --> 00:55:39,877 It's good. 841 00:55:40,045 --> 00:55:42,171 It's like a good brew. It's really... It's really cold. 842 00:55:42,297 --> 00:55:45,174 I'm so gonna corrupt you. 843 00:55:46,802 --> 00:55:49,512 # I'll run away with you 844 00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:52,515 # We can build a gold mine 845 00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,517 ♪ There's no ball. 846 00:55:54,685 --> 00:55:57,186 - Somebody got a ball? - Yeah. I got a ball. 847 00:55:57,271 --> 00:55:59,939 - Shit. - Oh! Hey, man. 848 00:56:00,107 --> 00:56:04,819 Hey, Marlon, you and Paul Moore have been on the student council together for two years. 849 00:56:04,987 --> 00:56:07,155 - In all that time, did he ever seem like... - Funky. 850 00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:09,532 - Yeah? - It's a party. 851 00:56:11,702 --> 00:56:14,203 Yeah. Funky, you can put this on the record, okay? 852 00:56:18,125 --> 00:56:20,126 Tastes minty. 853 00:56:22,171 --> 00:56:24,005 Tastes like a veal cutlet. 854 00:56:24,173 --> 00:56:28,885 No, man. It like... It's like a baby lamb chop with the, uh... the mint jelly. 855 00:56:29,053 --> 00:56:31,304 Tastes like a joint, you fags. 856 00:56:31,472 --> 00:56:34,223 - Beer pong. Just focus on the cup. - Come on, Funky. 857 00:56:34,308 --> 00:56:37,310 Give me your best shot. 858 00:56:44,651 --> 00:56:47,236 - Oh. - Ooh! 859 00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:02,001 Goal! 860 00:57:12,387 --> 00:57:14,263 Hold this. 861 00:57:14,389 --> 00:57:20,269 # Dial up my number now 862 00:57:20,354 --> 00:57:27,276 # Weaving it through the wire # 863 00:57:27,402 --> 00:57:30,571 # Switch me on 864 00:57:30,739 --> 00:57:33,908 # Turn me up 865 00:57:34,076 --> 00:57:36,702 # Don't want it Baudelaire 866 00:57:36,870 --> 00:57:40,748 # Just glitter lust 867 00:57:40,916 --> 00:57:43,751 # Switch me on 868 00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:47,296 # Turn me up 869 00:57:47,381 --> 00:57:49,298 # I want to touch you 870 00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:53,136 # You're just made for love 871 00:57:53,303 --> 00:57:56,430 # I need la, la, la, la, la, la # 872 00:57:56,598 --> 00:57:59,308 # I need Ooh, la, la, la, la # 873 00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:03,062 # I need la, la la, la, la, la # 874 00:58:03,230 --> 00:58:05,773 # I need Ooh, la, la, la, la # 875 00:58:08,861 --> 00:58:11,779 All right, let's play this game. 876 00:58:11,947 --> 00:58:14,323 ♪ I've got winners. 877 00:58:18,370 --> 00:58:20,329 Yo, what do you want us to do with him? 878 00:58:20,414 --> 00:58:22,290 - Take him upstairs. - Tie him up. 879 00:58:22,416 --> 00:58:27,587 I can take another one of those toothpaste cigarettes. Give me one. It was the toothpaste. 880 00:58:27,754 --> 00:58:30,339 I know... 881 00:58:30,424 --> 00:58:32,717 Hey, it's B. Funky. 882 00:58:32,885 --> 00:58:35,303 Take it! Take it like a man! 883 00:58:35,429 --> 00:58:39,891 The little prick told me he was going to a seminar on surveillance technology. 884 00:58:40,058 --> 00:58:44,145 I feel bad for him. He's totally gaga for that cum-dumpster. 885 00:58:44,313 --> 00:58:49,525 A single pussy hair can pull a battleship through the desert. 886 00:58:50,652 --> 00:58:53,362 - Give it up. - Hey. 887 00:58:53,447 --> 00:58:57,491 - What are you guys doing here? - The question is, "What are you doing here?" 888 00:58:57,659 --> 00:59:00,369 I'm just... I'm doing research for the school paper. 889 00:59:00,454 --> 00:59:04,081 Oh, yeah. You're writing a story on Francesca's pink "beav." 890 00:59:04,249 --> 00:59:06,876 No. Seriously. 891 00:59:07,044 --> 00:59:11,088 Listen to me. You need to sink the pink tonight, hermano. 892 00:59:11,256 --> 00:59:14,550 I hope you... # Before, that way you can last. 893 00:59:14,718 --> 00:59:17,970 - Yeah. You don't want to be a premie. - A premie? 894 00:59:18,138 --> 00:59:20,389 - Word gets around. - It's true. 895 00:59:20,474 --> 00:59:23,768 She's used to Paul Moore. That guy can last. 896 00:59:23,936 --> 00:59:27,146 - How do you know? - I just know. 897 00:59:27,314 --> 00:59:30,566 Hey, Funky, listen. After you come, 898 00:59:30,734 --> 00:59:34,528 you're going to hate her, just hate her. 899 00:59:34,696 --> 00:59:39,492 I don't know why, but you will. 900 00:59:39,660 --> 00:59:42,411 - Well, I got to get back. - Yeah, to do the story. 901 00:59:42,496 --> 00:59:43,788 - Right? - Right. 902 00:59:43,956 --> 00:59:46,415 - Dig deep, hermano. - Yeah, balls deep. 903 00:59:49,294 --> 00:59:51,712 See you guys on Monday. 904 00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:56,300 Keep it going. Come on. Give me something. Give me something. Yeah. 905 00:59:58,053 --> 01:00:00,513 - Work with me! - Hey, stranger. 906 01:00:00,681 --> 01:00:03,432 So I wanted to talk to you about a follow-up to your story. 907 01:00:03,558 --> 01:00:07,436 I was thinking, like, maybe an editorial piece on the student council or something. 908 01:00:07,562 --> 01:00:09,772 - Hey, Clara. - Yeah? 909 01:00:09,940 --> 01:00:11,941 It's a party. 910 01:00:23,537 --> 01:00:25,579 Isn't this Marlon's room? 911 01:00:25,747 --> 01:00:30,042 Yeah, well, somebody already passed out in my bed. 912 01:00:30,210 --> 01:00:32,962 Well, then won't he mind that we're in here? 913 01:00:33,130 --> 01:00:35,006 He doesn't care. 914 01:00:39,094 --> 01:00:40,720 Cool planes. 915 01:00:50,147 --> 01:00:52,523 What are you doing with me? 916 01:00:52,691 --> 01:00:55,735 What kind of question is that? 917 01:00:56,945 --> 01:00:58,863 A good one. 918 01:00:59,031 --> 01:01:03,117 Hey, I like you. 919 01:01:03,285 --> 01:01:05,244 I like the way you look at me. 920 01:01:05,412 --> 01:01:09,457 Like it's for real, you know? 921 01:01:09,583 --> 01:01:12,251 Like you don't have to impress anyone. 922 01:01:15,464 --> 01:01:18,507 Like if tomorrow, St. Donovan's would just disappear, 923 01:01:18,592 --> 01:01:20,593 you'd still look at me the way you do. 924 01:01:25,557 --> 01:01:27,433 You get me, Funky. 925 01:01:29,561 --> 01:01:33,272 I tried on, like, 11 shirts before I came over here. 926 01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:38,277 Yeah? Well, you know I don't like it. 927 01:01:38,445 --> 01:01:40,654 I think you need to take it off. 928 01:01:49,373 --> 01:01:51,415 When-When do your parents come home? 929 01:01:53,085 --> 01:01:55,544 My dad's out of town until Tuesday. 930 01:01:55,629 --> 01:02:00,132 - What about your mom? - My mom's dead, Funky. 931 01:02:00,300 --> 01:02:01,884 Sorry. 932 01:02:08,016 --> 01:02:09,975 I want you. 933 01:02:13,897 --> 01:02:15,773 You get me. 934 01:02:38,713 --> 01:02:43,175 Hey, Ashwood, you're pissing yourself. 935 01:02:59,860 --> 01:03:01,735 Fuck. 936 01:03:05,407 --> 01:03:08,617 Funky. Hey, Funky, untie me. 937 01:03:08,702 --> 01:03:10,619 - Cipriato. - Funky! 938 01:03:13,748 --> 01:03:17,918 You're doing considerably better this time around, Mr. Funky. 939 01:03:18,086 --> 01:03:19,962 Thank you. 940 01:03:24,134 --> 01:03:27,011 - What are you doing? - Uh... 941 01:03:27,179 --> 01:03:31,515 Sorry. I just thought that I should, uh, adjust this mirror a smidge. 942 01:03:31,683 --> 01:03:33,642 Safety first. 943 01:03:33,727 --> 01:03:37,605 - That's very good of you, Mr. Funky. - I know. 944 01:03:43,153 --> 01:03:48,157 The Mullens' van. Grass, gas or ass. Nobody rode for free. 945 01:03:48,325 --> 01:03:50,951 What were the good brothers doing up so early? 946 01:03:55,790 --> 01:03:58,125 You know, I think I'm just gonna, um, parallel park here. 947 01:03:58,293 --> 01:04:00,794 I was just gonna have you do that back at the D.M.V. Lot. 948 01:04:00,962 --> 01:04:03,672 Yeah, I know, but this is such a challenging spot. 949 01:04:03,757 --> 01:04:06,008 I'm really feeling it today. 950 01:04:06,176 --> 01:04:08,177 For me, it's all about the aesthetic. 951 01:04:08,345 --> 01:04:11,597 - The aesthetic? - Yeah. 952 01:04:20,065 --> 01:04:23,234 Well, I must say, Mr. Funky, that was some mighty fine parking. 953 01:04:23,401 --> 01:04:27,947 Yeah, that was pretty good, wasn't it? 954 01:04:29,783 --> 01:04:32,368 Two pharmacies in five minutes. 955 01:04:32,536 --> 01:04:34,703 That must have been some case of crabs. 956 01:04:43,797 --> 01:04:46,048 Well, I never thought I'd see the day, 957 01:04:46,216 --> 01:04:49,426 but I'd say you're about to get yourself a driver's license. 958 01:04:49,594 --> 01:04:51,804 - Really? - Really. 959 01:04:58,853 --> 01:05:03,065 It was my license or the scoop. My freedom or the truth. 960 01:05:03,233 --> 01:05:06,485 Woodward and Bernstein. Woodward and Bernstein. 961 01:05:06,653 --> 01:05:08,988 All you have to do is get me back to the D.M.V. In one piece... 962 01:05:09,155 --> 01:05:11,699 Hey! Hey! Hey! 963 01:05:11,825 --> 01:05:14,743 Put your foot on that brake! Come on! Stop the car! 964 01:05:14,828 --> 01:05:18,831 Put your foot on the brake! What are you doing? 965 01:05:23,461 --> 01:05:26,547 Four pharmacies and a dozen traffic violations later, 966 01:05:26,715 --> 01:05:29,216 Alex Schneider and the Mullens were still making the rounds. 967 01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:31,760 So I guess I'll see you next month? 968 01:05:31,845 --> 01:05:35,097 - Get the fuck out. - Fair enough. 969 01:05:37,142 --> 01:05:39,768 My driver's test had posed some new questions. 970 01:05:39,853 --> 01:05:43,355 Fortunately, I knew just the people to help me find the answers. 971 01:05:43,523 --> 01:05:46,317 - This is gonna cost you, you know. - What's going on, Landis. 972 01:05:47,736 --> 01:05:50,696 You're not supposed to do that unless there's a fire. 973 01:05:51,865 --> 01:05:56,118 Can't you see the fire, lamb chop? 974 01:05:56,286 --> 01:05:58,912 It's in my heart. 975 01:06:00,540 --> 01:06:02,791 And it's burning for you. 976 01:06:05,211 --> 01:06:07,129 Where'd you get all those keys? 977 01:06:07,297 --> 01:06:09,632 I'm sleeping with the janitor. 978 01:06:09,799 --> 01:06:13,010 Seriously? 979 01:06:13,178 --> 01:06:15,346 Later, Funky. 980 01:06:29,319 --> 01:06:32,571 I didn't know what I was looking for exactly. 981 01:06:32,739 --> 01:06:37,159 But so far, every clue had one common denominator... 982 01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:39,953 the student council. 983 01:07:06,439 --> 01:07:10,317 # I got crazy cheddar cheese 'cause I'm the dopest M.C. On the planet # 984 01:07:10,485 --> 01:07:12,861 # I'm the one that gave your sister that rash, goddamn it # 985 01:07:12,946 --> 01:07:15,072 # Now everyone in the 616 986 01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:19,660 # Eat a Chinese girl out with a pair of chopsticks, yo... # 987 01:07:19,828 --> 01:07:22,871 - See, man, cut it. Cut it. Look... - What's up? 988 01:07:22,997 --> 01:07:27,835 We're gonna need some beers, man, because I'm not feeling it unless I got my rhyme sauce. 989 01:07:27,961 --> 01:07:30,212 # Make sure it's cold 990 01:07:31,715 --> 01:07:34,675 Yo, yo, yo. Get me some antacid too while you're at it. 991 01:07:34,843 --> 01:07:37,636 I got mad indigestion, bro. Ohh. 992 01:07:37,804 --> 01:07:39,847 - Let's do the show. - No, no, no. 993 01:07:39,973 --> 01:07:42,349 # A wicka, a wicka-wicka one, two, yo # 994 01:07:42,517 --> 01:07:44,893 # Bitches, bitches Fall to your knees # 995 01:07:44,978 --> 01:07:47,980 # Look at my wallet I'm crazy cheddar cheese # 996 01:07:58,950 --> 01:08:00,909 - You guys sound really good in there. - Jesus, Funky! 997 01:08:01,035 --> 01:08:05,080 - What the hell are you doing in my car? - Just a little light reading. 998 01:08:05,248 --> 01:08:09,793 Student council treasury ledger. It's a real page-turner, isn't it? 999 01:08:09,961 --> 01:08:13,839 Money disappears and then reappears. Schneider is a regular Houdini. 1000 01:08:14,007 --> 01:08:17,468 - I don't know what you're talking about, Funky. - Sure you do, Marty. 1001 01:08:17,635 --> 01:08:20,304 But maybe it's time for you to come clean, 1002 01:08:20,472 --> 01:08:22,306 become your own man. 1003 01:08:22,474 --> 01:08:26,477 You know what, Funky? You're right. 1004 01:08:35,069 --> 01:08:37,654 Try not to get blood on the carpet. My mom will get pissed. 1005 01:08:37,822 --> 01:08:39,656 # Say what We make you say what # 1006 01:08:39,824 --> 01:08:42,367 # We make you say what 1007 01:08:42,535 --> 01:08:45,913 # We make you say what We make you say what # 1008 01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:49,958 # You can get fly Get high with me # 1009 01:08:50,043 --> 01:08:52,878 # Keep your hands to the sky and keep your eyes on me # 1010 01:08:53,046 --> 01:08:55,964 # I'm gonna kick it to your markers. The blind don't see # 1011 01:08:56,049 --> 01:08:57,966 ♪ 1012 01:09:00,136 --> 01:09:03,764 Francesca. Hey, pick up. I need to talk to you about Paul. 1013 01:09:03,932 --> 01:09:08,894 Did he ever mention anything about Schneider or the Mullens having a drug problem? 1014 01:09:09,062 --> 01:09:10,979 Anyway, I'll try you again later, okay? 1015 01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:15,442 Um, I love you... I mean, I love hanging out with you. 1016 01:09:15,610 --> 01:09:17,736 # Oh, Gertrude 1017 01:09:17,904 --> 01:09:21,490 # My anaconda's sore and it needs a massage # 1018 01:09:21,658 --> 01:09:23,534 # I love you # 1019 01:09:36,130 --> 01:09:38,924 Hey, what's going on? 1020 01:09:39,092 --> 01:09:41,760 Didn't you hear? 1021 01:09:41,928 --> 01:09:45,013 No. 1022 01:09:45,139 --> 01:09:50,018 Here, here. Breathe that in, Funky. Ohh! 1023 01:09:50,103 --> 01:09:54,189 The big news was that everyone had to retake the S.A.T.'s. 1024 01:09:54,357 --> 01:09:58,527 The stolen tests had been nullified under suspicion of tampering. 1025 01:09:58,695 --> 01:10:03,782 But I had my own suspicions to follow. I needed to stay on their tail. 1026 01:10:03,950 --> 01:10:07,327 - I needed evidence. I needed photos. Needed... - Hey, Stinky. 1027 01:10:07,495 --> 01:10:11,039 I think you need to come home with me. 1028 01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:17,379 You know, I'm concerned about the lack of parental supervision at your house. 1029 01:10:17,547 --> 01:10:20,132 Oh, yeah? You want to be my daddy? 1030 01:10:21,259 --> 01:10:24,052 # Lay on the floor 1031 01:10:24,137 --> 01:10:27,389 # It's nice to end 1032 01:10:27,557 --> 01:10:29,892 # The day 1033 01:10:32,145 --> 01:10:35,939 # And is she gonna go 1034 01:10:36,107 --> 01:10:40,068 - Is that a good look? - Uh-huh. You look like a little dinosaur. 1035 01:10:42,780 --> 01:10:45,490 # Gonna stay 1036 01:10:45,658 --> 01:10:48,076 # Here 1037 01:10:48,161 --> 01:10:51,288 # With me 1038 01:10:54,208 --> 01:10:57,461 - # I'm gonna sing - I can't see anything right now. 1039 01:10:57,629 --> 01:10:59,463 I'm totally blind. 1040 01:10:59,631 --> 01:11:02,090 # A thing to hold on to 1041 01:11:02,216 --> 01:11:05,969 Paul, the Northwestern program. ♪ 1042 01:11:06,137 --> 01:11:08,013 Suddenly none of it seemed to matter. 1043 01:11:08,181 --> 01:11:13,060 The hole in my side, the one that always kept me hungry, was gone. 1044 01:11:13,186 --> 01:11:15,771 Guess that meant I was happy. 1045 01:11:27,742 --> 01:11:29,576 ♪ 1046 01:11:29,744 --> 01:11:31,662 You shouldn't have done that. 1047 01:11:31,829 --> 01:11:34,373 Funke, frosh, steals tests and pins it on the prez... 1048 01:11:34,540 --> 01:11:36,917 - for a bid at Fran's hand. - Son of a bitch! 1049 01:11:37,085 --> 01:11:41,088 One thing was clear, Tad Goltz couldn't write for shit. 1050 01:11:42,632 --> 01:11:44,841 What the hell is this? 1051 01:11:45,009 --> 01:11:47,469 - You tell me. - There's no way that story checks out. 1052 01:11:47,637 --> 01:11:49,304 Schneider has been cooking the books. 1053 01:11:49,472 --> 01:11:51,223 What does that have to do with Paul Moore? 1054 01:11:51,391 --> 01:11:55,102 Nothing. But maybe Moore had nothing to do with the S.A.T.'s in the first place. 1055 01:11:55,228 --> 01:11:58,897 Bobby, stop. I really believed in you. 1056 01:11:59,065 --> 01:12:02,275 I thought you were one of the few kids in school that didn't need to be popular. 1057 01:12:04,821 --> 01:12:07,489 I'm recommending that Tad get your summer scholarship. 1058 01:12:08,700 --> 01:12:10,575 What? 1059 01:12:11,786 --> 01:12:13,870 I'm late for A.P. English. 1060 01:12:27,135 --> 01:12:30,053 Smooth move, Dr. Love. 1061 01:12:30,221 --> 01:12:33,724 You actually think I went to all the trouble of stealing the S.A.T.'s... 1062 01:12:33,891 --> 01:12:36,727 - just so I could go out with Francesca? - I would. 1063 01:12:36,894 --> 01:12:40,647 Francesca and I are in love, Cipriato. 1064 01:12:40,815 --> 01:12:43,734 We have something you can't emotionally comprehend yet. 1065 01:12:43,901 --> 01:12:45,902 - Ow! - Asshole! 1066 01:12:46,070 --> 01:12:48,113 Francesca. 1067 01:12:48,281 --> 01:12:50,574 Francesca, it's not true. Goltz is full of shit. 1068 01:12:50,742 --> 01:12:53,076 Did Paul steal them or not? 1069 01:12:53,244 --> 01:12:56,329 - Well, I don't think so, but that's not... - I trusted you, Funky. 1070 01:12:56,497 --> 01:13:00,000 This is bigger than me and you, okay? This is bigger than Paul Moore. This is... 1071 01:13:00,168 --> 01:13:03,295 Francesca. 1072 01:13:03,463 --> 01:13:07,716 Francesca, look, you got to believe me, okay? 1073 01:13:07,884 --> 01:13:11,219 Just... 1074 01:13:11,304 --> 01:13:14,014 Hey, look, can I just get the hall pass? 1075 01:13:14,182 --> 01:13:16,099 Huh? Huh? 1076 01:13:16,267 --> 01:13:18,185 The hall pass. 1077 01:13:18,311 --> 01:13:21,229 Huh? Hablo en Espanol. 1078 01:13:21,314 --> 01:13:26,359 L- I got to talk to some people. 1079 01:13:29,781 --> 01:13:33,283 - Could I just get the hall pass, please? - No. Sit down. 1080 01:13:33,451 --> 01:13:35,660 - Please, I need... - Sit down. 1081 01:13:37,747 --> 01:13:39,998 Bueno, bueno. 1082 01:13:49,133 --> 01:13:51,301 Señor Funky. 1083 01:13:51,469 --> 01:13:55,430 - La tarea. - L-I don't have it. 1084 01:13:55,598 --> 01:13:58,517 Hmm? Por que no? 1085 01:13:58,684 --> 01:14:03,188 ? Por que no? Because I'm the only one in this whole class who didn't copy it off Steve! 1086 01:14:04,357 --> 01:14:08,193 No me gusta su actitud, Senor Funky. 1087 01:14:08,361 --> 01:14:11,071 - Huh? - Yeah, well, no me gusta any of this bullshit! 1088 01:14:11,239 --> 01:14:15,909 Father Newell. 1089 01:14:16,077 --> 01:14:19,246 Senor Funke. 1090 01:14:19,372 --> 01:14:23,083 - Oh. - Senor Funke. 1091 01:14:23,251 --> 01:14:25,293 Adios. 1092 01:14:25,378 --> 01:14:27,796 Thank God you got me out of there. 1093 01:14:27,964 --> 01:14:30,549 You wouldn't believe some of the stuff that I've uncovered. 1094 01:14:30,716 --> 01:14:32,676 I don't even know where to start. 1095 01:14:32,844 --> 01:14:35,470 Point shaving, theft, embezzling. 1096 01:14:35,638 --> 01:14:37,889 - A pharmaceutical drug ring. - Is that gum in your mouth? 1097 01:14:38,057 --> 01:14:40,308 There's these pills, right? Half the school... 1098 01:14:40,393 --> 01:14:43,562 I just asked you, are you chewing gum? 1099 01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:47,691 That's... That's irrelevant. I think there's something really serious going on here. 1100 01:14:47,859 --> 01:14:51,361 You seem to be a little foggy as to why I'm here, Mr. Funky. 1101 01:14:51,529 --> 01:14:54,447 From what I understand, you've made a mockery of this entire high school. 1102 01:14:54,615 --> 01:14:59,995 You seem to think that this is some kind of circus and that I am some kind of clown. 1103 01:15:00,163 --> 01:15:02,330 I'm not a f'ing clown. 1104 01:15:02,415 --> 01:15:05,750 And I'm not here to bring joy and love... 1105 01:15:05,918 --> 01:15:10,255 and light and laughter into your f'ing heart! 1106 01:15:10,423 --> 01:15:13,341 Now, I'm going to ask you one more time, 1107 01:15:13,467 --> 01:15:17,345 and this time I expect an answer. 1108 01:15:17,430 --> 01:15:21,391 Is... that... 1109 01:15:21,559 --> 01:15:23,894 gum... 1110 01:15:24,061 --> 01:15:25,896 in... 1111 01:15:26,063 --> 01:15:28,815 your... mouth? 1112 01:15:30,318 --> 01:15:32,194 Is this gum in my mouth? 1113 01:15:34,447 --> 01:15:39,159 Is this gum in my mouth? Yeah, it is, actually. It's gum. 1114 01:15:39,327 --> 01:15:42,829 It's gum. It's gum! It's gum! It's gum! It's gum! It's gum! 1115 01:15:42,997 --> 01:15:45,123 I chew it all the time! 24-7! 1116 01:15:45,291 --> 01:15:49,085 I've got a fucking jumbo pack in my pocket right now! 1117 01:15:49,253 --> 01:15:54,257 My locker, filled to the brim with gum! No books, just gum! 1118 01:15:54,425 --> 01:15:57,636 Now, I am trying to talk to you about matters of the utmost importance here. 1119 01:15:57,803 --> 01:16:00,472 And you're... you're talking to me about gum? 1120 01:16:18,908 --> 01:16:22,619 # When your love has moved away # 1121 01:16:24,538 --> 01:16:26,414 # You must face yourself and you must say # 1122 01:16:26,582 --> 01:16:28,833 Bathroom breaks? You get one, right after lunch. 1123 01:16:29,001 --> 01:16:33,088 Bring your work in first thing in the morning. # I remember better days # 1124 01:16:33,256 --> 01:16:35,966 Which is nice because it gives you the rest of the day to pretty much do whatever. 1125 01:16:36,133 --> 01:16:39,552 You get 15 minutes in the yard twice a week. 1126 01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:43,306 Mind and body, Funky. Mind and body. 1127 01:16:49,647 --> 01:16:52,274 What should I do about Francesca? 1128 01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:55,443 Get some good porn, pray that she calls. 1129 01:17:07,665 --> 01:17:13,378 # Now that you know it's nowhere # 1130 01:17:15,506 --> 01:17:17,716 # What's to stop you coming home # Hello? 1131 01:17:17,883 --> 01:17:21,469 - Hello, dickhead. - You have got to be kidding me. 1132 01:17:21,554 --> 01:17:24,931 I've got two stories on my desk and one contradicts the living shit out of the other. 1133 01:17:25,099 --> 01:17:27,809 Did you really think that you could pull one over on ol' Ben Striedel? 1134 01:17:27,977 --> 01:17:30,478 Did you? 'Cause that's wholesale crazy, chief. 1135 01:17:30,563 --> 01:17:33,606 I have a 175 I.Q. That means I skipped the third grade. 1136 01:17:33,774 --> 01:17:36,026 You don't understand, Striedel. I was framed. 1137 01:17:36,193 --> 01:17:39,279 The school treasurer is moving money around to sell drugs. 1138 01:17:39,447 --> 01:17:42,866 Oh, that's rich. Now you're gonna frame the treasurer? 1139 01:17:43,034 --> 01:17:45,952 Is the class secretary next? What's the money got to do with stolen S.A.T.'s? 1140 01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:48,496 Nothing. They're two completely separate things. L... 1141 01:17:48,581 --> 01:17:51,499 Let me give you a freebie, kid. Money's got something to do with everything. 1142 01:17:51,584 --> 01:17:53,918 That's Investigative Journalism 101. 1143 01:17:54,086 --> 01:17:56,921 Follow the money, dipshit. You got till Monday to give me the truth. 1144 01:17:59,759 --> 01:18:02,594 # You're not where you belong # 1145 01:18:12,063 --> 01:18:14,147 I gonna call a time-out. 1146 01:18:19,612 --> 01:18:22,572 Uh, l-3. 1147 01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:26,034 - That's a hit! Fuck! - I told you putting it in there was a bad idea. 1148 01:18:26,202 --> 01:18:29,287 You stinky, Landy? I put it where you want to put it. 1149 01:18:29,455 --> 01:18:32,916 - Oh, that is nice. It's new? - No, it's my mom's. 1150 01:18:33,084 --> 01:18:35,126 Connect the dots. 1151 01:18:35,294 --> 01:18:37,337 I told you not to line up the ships like that. 1152 01:18:37,505 --> 01:18:40,673 It's looks like, uh, Pearl Harbor! 1153 01:18:40,841 --> 01:18:44,552 - Puta! - Could you guys just use your library voices? 1154 01:18:44,637 --> 01:18:46,554 Sorry. I'm just trying to think. 1155 01:18:46,639 --> 01:18:48,807 You can't let Goltz get one up on you, Funky. 1156 01:18:48,974 --> 01:18:51,434 That guy is an enormous vagina. 1157 01:19:01,487 --> 01:19:05,698 Connect the dots. 1158 01:19:05,866 --> 01:19:09,160 Connect them. Come here. 1159 01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:12,580 Connect the... 1160 01:19:14,417 --> 01:19:16,251 What are you looking at, Funky? 1161 01:19:16,419 --> 01:19:19,587 Funky, where you go? These four walls, you just stay. Bounce. 1162 01:19:19,672 --> 01:19:23,466 Bing-bing-bing-bing-bing. Like a pinball. That's it. You can't run. 1163 01:19:30,433 --> 01:19:32,517 Hey, hall monitor! 1164 01:19:49,243 --> 01:19:52,412 ♪ 1165 01:20:10,764 --> 01:20:12,640 Francesca? 1166 01:20:14,852 --> 01:20:19,772 ♪ 1167 01:20:20,900 --> 01:20:22,775 Francesca? 1168 01:20:25,738 --> 01:20:30,241 - Francesca? # This is This is all I can do # 1169 01:20:30,409 --> 01:20:34,329 # It's all I can do And it's all right # 1170 01:20:38,292 --> 01:20:42,253 ♪ 1171 01:20:53,224 --> 01:20:55,683 ♪ 1172 01:20:55,768 --> 01:20:57,894 Mathematically, it's a percentage of your life. 1173 01:20:58,062 --> 01:21:02,690 Four years. 48 months. 1,461 days. 1174 01:21:02,775 --> 01:21:05,693 High school is prom, football games, boyfriends, girlfriends, 1175 01:21:05,778 --> 01:21:09,781 party at the rich kid's house, fun, simple, wholesome. 1176 01:21:09,949 --> 01:21:12,617 But it's really anything but. 1177 01:21:12,785 --> 01:21:15,495 High school might be the least wholesome four years of your life, 1178 01:21:15,663 --> 01:21:17,705 and there's nothing simple about it. 1179 01:21:17,790 --> 01:21:21,501 High school is ugly, hard and complicated, 1180 01:21:21,669 --> 01:21:24,712 as complicated as a conspiracy to assassinate the president. 1181 01:21:24,797 --> 01:21:28,716 A conspiracy about to be uncovered. 1182 01:21:58,330 --> 01:22:00,331 Alex Schneider and the Mullen brothers... 1183 01:22:00,499 --> 01:22:03,084 had been selling prescription drugs since their sophomore year. 1184 01:22:03,252 --> 01:22:07,880 The Mullens' dad was an orthopedist with a habit of boning his patients. 1185 01:22:08,048 --> 01:22:09,882 When he split with one of them, 1186 01:22:10,050 --> 01:22:13,219 the hip doctor left his family his van and a box of prescription pads. 1187 01:22:13,387 --> 01:22:16,764 The brothers made due with their inheritance. 1188 01:22:16,849 --> 01:22:19,309 # Your booty is the ice I'm the Zamboni # 1189 01:22:19,476 --> 01:22:22,103 The Mullens weren't competent enough to run things on their own. 1190 01:22:22,271 --> 01:22:26,774 Yo, shit biscuit! These bottles aren't gonna fill themselves. 1191 01:22:26,859 --> 01:22:29,569 Initially, the market for academic performance enhancers... 1192 01:22:29,737 --> 01:22:31,571 wasn't as ripe as they'd hoped. 1193 01:22:31,739 --> 01:22:35,700 So like good businessmen, they created a demand. 1194 01:22:36,869 --> 01:22:39,287 They sabotaged tests throughout the school, 1195 01:22:39,455 --> 01:22:43,166 targeting the students they knew would fold from the pressure. 1196 01:22:43,334 --> 01:22:46,878 If you erase enough bubbles, you can erase a kids future. 1197 01:22:47,046 --> 01:22:48,796 It's supply and demand, son. 1198 01:22:48,881 --> 01:22:51,257 Business boomed, 1199 01:22:51,425 --> 01:22:57,180 so much so that they started dipping into student council funds to use as venture capital. 1200 01:22:57,348 --> 01:23:00,808 P. Moore wasn't exactly Alan Greenspan. 1201 01:23:00,893 --> 01:23:02,977 But it didn't take an economic genius to figure out... 1202 01:23:03,145 --> 01:23:05,480 that hundreds of dollars were being shifted around weekly. 1203 01:23:07,149 --> 01:23:09,317 Paul told Marlon what he'd discovered, 1204 01:23:09,485 --> 01:23:12,570 said he was gonna put the kibosh on Alex's creative accounting. 1205 01:23:12,738 --> 01:23:15,823 Marlon couldn't have that. Things were too good. 1206 01:23:15,949 --> 01:23:18,868 He had big plans, and the president was in the way. 1207 01:23:22,456 --> 01:23:25,291 He needed Paul out of the picture. 1208 01:23:27,753 --> 01:23:34,342 # Yeah, you close my eyes 1209 01:23:34,510 --> 01:23:41,015 # Yeah, you close my eyes # 1210 01:23:44,937 --> 01:23:48,856 - What's going on, guys? - Funky... 1211 01:23:48,941 --> 01:23:51,984 You just don't know when to quit, do you? 1212 01:23:52,152 --> 01:23:55,530 Guess not. Gum? 1213 01:23:58,659 --> 01:24:03,371 Changing the answers on the S.A.T.'s so you can sell more drugs. It's clever, Marlon. 1214 01:24:03,539 --> 01:24:07,291 Twisted, but clever nonetheless. 1215 01:24:07,459 --> 01:24:10,044 Should make for a great story. 1216 01:24:10,212 --> 01:24:12,338 Bad move, Funky. 1217 01:24:12,506 --> 01:24:15,091 Open that window and bring him over. 1218 01:24:21,515 --> 01:24:25,226 Okay, here's the real story. Bobby Funky made a few bad decisions, 1219 01:24:25,394 --> 01:24:27,770 lost his girlfriend and up and jumped out the window. 1220 01:24:27,938 --> 01:24:31,023 - Just another tormented freshman. - I'm a sophomore, dick! 1221 01:24:32,943 --> 01:24:36,904 - Throw his ass out. - You won't do it. 1222 01:24:36,989 --> 01:24:39,949 Oh, I won't? These sorts of things happen all the time. 1223 01:24:40,117 --> 01:24:43,202 There's a lot of pressure here at St. Donovan's. 1224 01:24:43,370 --> 01:24:45,621 Throw him out! 1225 01:24:46,874 --> 01:24:48,916 Fine. I'll do it myself. 1226 01:24:49,001 --> 01:24:53,463 - Hey! Let him go! - Hey, hey! Ahh! Ahh! Calmate. 1227 01:24:53,630 --> 01:24:55,923 Put him down! Delicately. 1228 01:24:56,008 --> 01:25:00,178 - How'd they know you were here? - I might have made an announcement. 1229 01:25:15,778 --> 01:25:17,028 Funky. 1230 01:25:20,032 --> 01:25:23,159 Bob Woodward once said that the first rule of good journalism... 1231 01:25:23,327 --> 01:25:26,829 is never reveal the story before it goes to print. 1232 01:25:26,997 --> 01:25:30,458 But Woodward wasn't in love with Francesca Fachini. 1233 01:25:30,626 --> 01:25:34,962 Before I cleared my name with the school, I had to clear it with her. 1234 01:25:35,088 --> 01:25:38,299 I had to tell her I'd figured it all out. 1235 01:25:43,055 --> 01:25:45,598 # Pick us up 1236 01:25:45,766 --> 01:25:50,228 - Turns out, I hadn't. # We're all by ourselves 1237 01:25:53,774 --> 01:25:58,027 # The great big howling is 1238 01:25:58,195 --> 01:26:01,614 - # About to begin - You played me, Francesca. 1239 01:26:03,325 --> 01:26:07,328 - You played Paul. - # A thousand miles from where # 1240 01:26:07,496 --> 01:26:09,997 You played the whole damn school. 1241 01:26:11,250 --> 01:26:13,125 Look out! Look out! Look out! 1242 01:26:13,293 --> 01:26:16,462 I need everybody to file out of this office. 1243 01:26:16,630 --> 01:26:19,590 Everybody except you five. 1244 01:26:19,758 --> 01:26:22,885 The five of you are in big fucking trouble. 1245 01:26:23,053 --> 01:26:27,306 Stay right there. Get out of my way. You too, bonehead. 1246 01:26:27,474 --> 01:26:30,226 You'll never understand why I did it. 1247 01:26:34,481 --> 01:26:37,483 Nobody's misunderstood, Francesca. 1248 01:26:37,651 --> 01:26:40,528 It's just what people say when they don't like who they are. 1249 01:26:45,075 --> 01:26:47,285 Bobby, wait. 1250 01:26:51,915 --> 01:26:55,126 Forget it, Funky. It's high school. 1251 01:26:59,381 --> 01:27:02,592 - # Going on - # Forfeit 1252 01:27:02,759 --> 01:27:04,594 - # The shape to fit - # And on 1253 01:27:04,761 --> 01:27:07,179 - # The backhand to touch - # Forfeit 1254 01:27:07,347 --> 01:27:09,557 - # Is moving on again - # The shape to fit 1255 01:27:09,725 --> 01:27:12,059 - # Going on - # Forfeit 1256 01:27:12,185 --> 01:27:15,021 - # The shape to fit - # And on 1257 01:27:15,147 --> 01:27:17,607 # What's next I'm out of time # 1258 01:27:17,774 --> 01:27:20,067 # Losing my touch I can't feel # 1259 01:27:20,193 --> 01:27:22,737 # Speak for me Do you see the same signs # 1260 01:27:22,905 --> 01:27:25,364 # Do you know how to read between the lines # 1261 01:27:25,532 --> 01:27:27,950 # All in all It's all or none # 1262 01:27:28,118 --> 01:27:32,163 # All for one What you want # 1263 01:27:38,170 --> 01:27:41,380 # Pick us out 1264 01:27:41,548 --> 01:27:44,634 # Of a lineup 1265 01:27:48,472 --> 01:27:51,724 # Stranded and strange 1266 01:27:51,892 --> 01:27:56,979 # Just as innocent as kids 1267 01:27:58,357 --> 01:28:05,237 # The found are leaving and they're trying to forget # 1268 01:28:05,405 --> 01:28:13,120 # The old world The whole world is # 1269 01:28:13,246 --> 01:28:16,666 # Going on # Forfeit 1270 01:28:16,833 --> 01:28:18,793 # The shape to fit # And on 1271 01:28:18,961 --> 01:28:21,128 # The backhand to touch # Forfeit 1272 01:28:21,213 --> 01:28:23,255 # Is moving on again # The shape to fit 1273 01:28:23,423 --> 01:28:26,884 # Going on # Forfeit 1274 01:28:27,052 --> 01:28:29,053 # The shape to fit # And on 1275 01:28:29,221 --> 01:28:31,555 # What's next I'm out of time # 1276 01:28:31,723 --> 01:28:34,141 # Losing my touch I can't feel # 1277 01:28:34,226 --> 01:28:36,727 # Speak for me Do you see the same signs # 1278 01:28:36,895 --> 01:28:39,313 # Do you know how to read between the lines # 1279 01:28:39,481 --> 01:28:42,066 # All in all It's all or none # 1280 01:28:42,234 --> 01:28:47,154 # All for one What you want # 1281 01:28:51,034 --> 01:28:56,163 # Going on and on # 1282 01:29:18,603 --> 01:29:21,981 # All the fallen leaves will find their branches again # 1283 01:29:22,149 --> 01:29:25,192 # Raindrops from the heavens I'll eventually swim # 1284 01:29:25,277 --> 01:29:28,612 # River, an ocean A wave in my heart # 1285 01:29:28,780 --> 01:29:33,200 # We got your money Now we'll make a new start. All right # 1286 01:29:38,790 --> 01:29:42,209 # All the fallen leaves will find their branches again # 1287 01:29:42,294 --> 01:29:45,463 # Raindrops in the heavens I'll eventually swim # 1288 01:29:45,630 --> 01:29:48,924 # River, an ocean A wave in my heart # 1289 01:29:49,092 --> 01:29:53,596 # We got your money Now we'll make a new start. All right # 1290 01:30:00,145 --> 01:30:03,230 # In another week Promise # 1291 01:30:03,356 --> 01:30:06,650 # In another year I promise # 1292 01:30:06,818 --> 01:30:15,951 # Put your right hand on my heart # 1293 01:30:16,119 --> 01:30:22,583 # Heart 1294 01:30:22,751 --> 01:30:26,170 # Yeah, all the fallen leaves will find their branches again # 1295 01:30:26,338 --> 01:30:29,381 # Raindrops in the heavens I'll eventually swim # 1296 01:30:29,549 --> 01:30:32,843 # Bypass the train tracks that lead to my heart # 1297 01:30:33,011 --> 01:30:37,515 # We got your money Now we'll make a new start. All right # 1298 01:30:43,021 --> 01:30:46,357 # Yeah, all the fallen leaves will find their branches again # 1299 01:30:46,525 --> 01:30:49,735 # Raindrops in the heavens I'll eventually swim # 1300 01:30:49,903 --> 01:30:53,114 # River, an ocean A wave in my heart # 1301 01:30:53,281 --> 01:30:57,660 # We got your money Now we'll make a new start. All right # 1302 01:31:04,209 --> 01:31:07,503 # In another week Promise # 1303 01:31:07,671 --> 01:31:10,923 # In another year Promise # 1304 01:31:11,091 --> 01:31:20,224 # Put your right hand on my heart # 1305 01:31:20,392 --> 01:31:27,231 # Heart 1306 01:31:27,399 --> 01:31:30,442 # Your right hand on my heart # 1307 01:31:30,610 --> 01:31:33,946 # Your right hand on my heart # 1308 01:31:34,114 --> 01:31:38,576 # Feel the promise of my beating heart # 1309 01:31:40,162 --> 01:31:41,579 # Ohh 1310 01:32:20,493 --> 01:32:22,369 # Wow 1311 01:32:41,473 --> 01:32:44,600 # All the fallen leaves will find their branches again # 1312 01:32:44,768 --> 01:32:48,020 # Raindrops in the heavens I'll eventually swim # 1313 01:32:48,188 --> 01:32:51,398 # River, an ocean A wave in my heart # 1314 01:32:51,483 --> 01:32:55,402 # We got your money Now we'll make a new start #