1 00:00:37,593 --> 00:00:42,223 Los Angeles late at night is much like any big American city late at night. 2 00:00:42,264 --> 00:00:45,601 At 2:00 a. m. People are either making a mess or cleaning it up. 3 00:00:45,684 --> 00:00:48,020 Tonight's my night to do the cleaning up. 4 00:00:48,062 --> 00:00:51,148 My name, most of the time, is Irwin Fletcher. 5 00:00:51,232 --> 00:00:55,945 I write under the name of Jane Doe. That's the kind of gal I am. 6 00:00:56,028 --> 00:00:58,906 This is a Greek seafood house, part of a very successful chain. 7 00:00:58,948 --> 00:01:01,325 But, believe me, it's not because of the food. 8 00:01:01,408 --> 00:01:04,328 113,000 from basketball. 9 00:01:04,411 --> 00:01:07,456 List it as codfish. 10 00:01:08,874 --> 00:01:11,502 120,000 from the Gonzalez fight. 11 00:01:11,585 --> 00:01:16,423 That includes 60 from our chain in the Valley. 12 00:01:16,507 --> 00:01:20,052 Twenty from Long Beach. 120 total. 13 00:01:20,135 --> 00:01:23,263 Put that under halibut. 14 00:01:23,305 --> 00:01:26,058 180,000 from the track. 15 00:01:26,141 --> 00:01:28,060 Scrod. 16 00:01:28,143 --> 00:01:30,646 We already got over two million in scrod this month. 17 00:01:30,729 --> 00:01:33,732 Scrod's making a comeback, all right? 18 00:01:33,816 --> 00:01:35,776 So how are you listing my stake? 19 00:01:35,859 --> 00:01:40,113 Breakage. $ 75,000 worth ofbreakage? 20 00:01:46,453 --> 00:01:49,498 We're Greeks! We dance, we break plates, we're clumsy! 21 00:01:49,581 --> 00:01:52,584 Cut the fighting. We gotta be cross town in 30 minutes. 22 00:01:52,668 --> 00:01:54,586 You wanna wash up? 23 00:01:54,670 --> 00:01:57,798 Nah. My wife gets suspicious if I come home and my hands don't smell like fish. 24 00:01:57,839 --> 00:01:59,966 I got it. You get the lights. 25 00:02:00,050 --> 00:02:02,969 Where's Poppa? In the back. 26 00:02:03,053 --> 00:02:05,972 Tell him to snap it up. We'll meet him in the car. Phil, I'll drop you off first. 27 00:02:06,007 --> 00:02:08,433 You better. 28 00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:26,242 - Hi. - What's your name, little lady? 29 00:02:26,284 --> 00:02:31,373 My name? Peggy Lee... Zorba. Peggy Lee Zorba. 30 00:02:31,456 --> 00:02:35,710 - You're cute! - Do you mind if I freshen up a little bit? 31 00:02:35,794 --> 00:02:38,379 Splash a little water on my face. 32 00:02:38,421 --> 00:02:40,799 Whatever makes you feel sexy. 33 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,384 Okay. 34 00:02:43,426 --> 00:02:47,055 Just wait outside. I'll be right out. 35 00:03:08,826 --> 00:03:10,995 What the hell was that? 36 00:03:11,037 --> 00:03:13,539 - Jesus.! If it's a cop, kill him. - Hi. Mary Poppins! 37 00:03:13,623 --> 00:03:15,875 If it's a reporter, cripple him. 38 00:03:31,933 --> 00:03:34,435 You're never driving again! 39 00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:36,938 I just did what you told me to do. 40 00:03:37,021 --> 00:03:39,774 There's a new thing called brakes.! Will you shut up.! 41 00:03:44,195 --> 00:03:49,241 Good. Brilliant as usual, Fletch. We'll run it in the next edition. 42 00:03:49,325 --> 00:03:52,078 Great. See you in two weeks. 43 00:03:52,161 --> 00:03:57,875 Uh, Fletch, there's... "Uh, Fletch"? Frank, I see a double-cross in your eyes. 44 00:03:57,917 --> 00:04:01,086 - You promised me a vacation and I'm taking it. - Right after the sewer story. 45 00:04:01,170 --> 00:04:04,215 What are you talking about? You can't do this to me. 46 00:04:04,256 --> 00:04:07,635 I spent eight nights on my knees for you dressed like Dolly Parton at a funeral. 47 00:04:07,676 --> 00:04:11,180 I got felt up. I got dishpan hands and sore knees! 48 00:04:11,263 --> 00:04:13,724 Three guys tried to kill me. And do you give a crap? 49 00:04:13,766 --> 00:04:16,602 - You promised me a vacation! - And you're gonna get a vacation. 50 00:04:16,685 --> 00:04:19,772 - As soon as you research and write the sewer system expose. - You owe me a vacation! 51 00:04:19,855 --> 00:04:21,899 - In July you're gonna have it! - That's two months away. 52 00:04:21,940 --> 00:04:24,276 That's why you're such a great reporter. You know the facts. 53 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,238 By the way, the new computer disallowed your undocumented expenses. 54 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:30,908 - It'll come out of this week's pay. - You can't do that. 55 00:04:30,991 --> 00:04:35,204 There's nothing I can do about it. It's amazing. It's all done automatically. 56 00:04:51,303 --> 00:04:54,431 On top of everything else, I think I'm getting my period. 57 00:05:21,750 --> 00:05:25,003 No wonder I got a fumigation alert. How'd you get in here? 58 00:05:25,086 --> 00:05:27,505 The window was open. 59 00:05:27,547 --> 00:05:31,176 I knocked, and I could swear I heard you say, "Come in. " 60 00:05:31,259 --> 00:05:35,472 You really know how to cover your ass, Gillet. Although those pants are a huge mistake. 61 00:05:35,555 --> 00:05:41,019 You owe me $4,381 in back alimony. 62 00:05:41,054 --> 00:05:44,064 What? I was married to you? 63 00:05:44,105 --> 00:05:49,027 You're right. I've been foolishly squandering my salary on food and heat. 64 00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:52,614 You have one week to comply with Judge Proctor's orders. 65 00:05:52,697 --> 00:05:55,658 Payment in full. Otherwise you go to jail. 66 00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:58,119 Wendy doesn't need the money. 67 00:05:58,203 --> 00:06:03,666 I hear she's been... banging some balding, wimpy lawyer who can't get it up. 68 00:06:03,750 --> 00:06:06,377 - May I see that? - Be my guest. 69 00:06:06,419 --> 00:06:09,172 It's a nice briefcase. Couldn't guess your weight? 70 00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:11,466 Oh! I'm sorry. I got it. 71 00:06:11,507 --> 00:06:13,926 Never mind, I'll take care of it. 72 00:06:14,010 --> 00:06:16,846 Look at this. A note from the Oakwood Potency Clinic. 73 00:06:16,929 --> 00:06:21,726 "Sorry to inform you, our machines cannot process sperm counts as low as yours. " 74 00:06:21,809 --> 00:06:24,187 Here we are. What about this? Be careful! 75 00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:26,814 Uh-oh! I am terribly sorry! 76 00:06:26,898 --> 00:06:28,858 You did that intentionally. No, I did not. I really didn't. 77 00:06:28,941 --> 00:06:31,527 That was good juice too. Leave it alone. 78 00:06:31,611 --> 00:06:34,697 Good idea. My mistake. Where are you going with that? 79 00:06:34,780 --> 00:06:37,366 My mess. I'll clean it up. 80 00:06:37,491 --> 00:06:39,577 - What are you doing? - What's this? 81 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:43,039 You are damaging personal property and I'm gonna... 82 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,584 The ink is running. I didn't expect that. 83 00:06:47,918 --> 00:06:51,172 There we are! Clean as a whistle. 84 00:06:51,255 --> 00:06:55,551 Thanks for coming by, Marvin. Expect to hear from my lawyer. 85 00:06:55,634 --> 00:06:59,930 Oh, Gillet, one more thing. Come back here. It's very important. 86 00:07:00,014 --> 00:07:04,226 They're doing a thing now where they make an incision in the scalp, push the hair together. 87 00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:09,440 Or you could try a transplant. Maybe the hair from your ass might make you smarter. Bye. 88 00:07:09,523 --> 00:07:13,527 Betty, how 'bout lunch at the In-N-Out Burger? 89 00:07:13,611 --> 00:07:15,571 I'm not hungry. 90 00:07:15,613 --> 00:07:18,282 Forget the burger. How about just the "in and out"? 91 00:07:18,365 --> 00:07:21,285 Very well. How about just the "in"? 92 00:07:23,537 --> 00:07:25,456 Ooh! 93 00:07:34,298 --> 00:07:36,759 Fletch, answer your phone. 94 00:07:42,973 --> 00:07:44,933 In-N-Out Burger. 95 00:07:44,975 --> 00:07:47,561 May I take your order please? Mr. Irwin Fletcher? 96 00:07:47,644 --> 00:07:50,814 This is Amanda Ray Ross. I represented your Aunt Belle Fletcher. 97 00:07:50,898 --> 00:07:53,358 Good ol' Aunt Belle. How the hell is she? 98 00:07:53,442 --> 00:07:56,903 She's deceased, Mr. Fletcher. Oh. I guess she could be better. 99 00:07:56,987 --> 00:08:00,824 - You're a hard man to find. - I was touring with the Stones. What can I do for you? 100 00:08:00,907 --> 00:08:02,743 Didn't you get my message? No. 101 00:08:02,826 --> 00:08:05,662 I'm the executor of your aunt's will and as such I can inform you... 102 00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:10,250 you are the major beneficiary of your aunt's estate, Belle Isle. 103 00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:13,920 What about this expense... $58 for leg waxing? That's bullshit. 104 00:08:13,962 --> 00:08:16,298 Yeah, but feel how smooth they are. 105 00:08:16,381 --> 00:08:19,593 It consists of 80 acres of old plantation property. 106 00:08:19,676 --> 00:08:22,762 Wait a minute. Did you say plantation? Yes, indeed. 107 00:08:22,804 --> 00:08:25,348 She left it to me? According to her will, she did. 108 00:08:25,432 --> 00:08:28,935 - Can I get back to you? - Hair by Ziggy? Who's Ziggy? 109 00:08:28,977 --> 00:08:33,773 5-0-4... Shut up, Frank. Yeah. I'll get right back to you. 110 00:08:33,815 --> 00:08:36,818 Can't we just return some of these things? What about the lingerie? 111 00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:39,821 - I ate it. - Be serious for one minute. 112 00:08:39,904 --> 00:08:41,531 I quit. 113 00:08:41,614 --> 00:08:46,745 I'm not unreasonable about legitimate expenses. I quit, Frank. 114 00:08:46,870 --> 00:08:50,331 Yeah. On the sewer story, I'm gonna advance you for the hip boots and wet suit. 115 00:08:50,415 --> 00:08:52,959 Frank, I'm really quitting. 116 00:08:53,042 --> 00:08:57,005 Fletch, look, I got a little A- frame up at Arrowhead. 117 00:08:57,088 --> 00:08:59,549 Why don't you go there, take a couple of weeks, relax? 118 00:08:59,632 --> 00:09:02,302 I'm really gonna miss you. 119 00:09:02,385 --> 00:09:04,345 Maybe that's an overstatement. 120 00:09:04,387 --> 00:09:07,640 Treat this as good news. You can always write myJane Doe column. 121 00:09:07,682 --> 00:09:10,310 You're not gonna quit, and I'll tell you why. 122 00:09:10,393 --> 00:09:12,645 Why? You have journalistic integrity. 123 00:09:12,687 --> 00:09:15,565 Yeah. And you have a sense of loyalty. 124 00:09:15,648 --> 00:09:17,817 And you'll never give up the quest for truth, will you? 125 00:09:17,859 --> 00:09:23,489 You're right. I can't abandon the principles that nurtured me lo these many years. 126 00:09:23,573 --> 00:09:27,910 Wrap them up with the shit on my desk and have them shipped to my mansion in Louisiana. 127 00:09:27,994 --> 00:09:30,329 Bye. 128 00:09:30,413 --> 00:09:32,373 What happened? 129 00:09:32,582 --> 00:09:35,877 And my husband said I was crazy to go 2,000 miles to have my nose done. 130 00:09:38,379 --> 00:09:42,425 That's an interesting watch. Is it a prize of some sort? 131 00:09:42,508 --> 00:09:46,512 No. It certainly looks like one. 132 00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:49,640 It's a championship Laker watch. 133 00:09:49,724 --> 00:09:52,268 Oh! Are you a Laker? 134 00:09:52,351 --> 00:09:57,940 I used to date one. Only thing I have to remember him by. 135 00:10:04,822 --> 00:10:07,408 Lord, what was that? 136 00:10:07,491 --> 00:10:11,162 We just clipped a Piper Cub. The pilot's okay. I just saw him parachuting. 137 00:10:13,706 --> 00:10:16,709 I love a man with a sense of humor. 138 00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,795 What did you say your name was? 139 00:10:19,879 --> 00:10:21,922 Nostradamus. 140 00:10:22,006 --> 00:10:24,174 I'm Cindy Mae Sample. 141 00:10:24,258 --> 00:10:28,220 Nostradamus. I love the Fightin' Irish. 142 00:10:28,304 --> 00:10:32,224 Lord, I hate to fly. I wish I was gettin' off in Thibodaux like you. 143 00:10:32,308 --> 00:10:37,062 It's two more stops to Selma. All those ups and downs and ups and downs. 144 00:10:38,647 --> 00:10:42,901 You should try holding your breath. 145 00:10:42,985 --> 00:10:45,195 Sometimes that works. 146 00:10:49,908 --> 00:10:52,286 Belle Isle. 147 00:10:53,745 --> 00:11:00,419 * We are calling * 148 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:06,258 Belle Isle. * While our heads are bending low * 149 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,804 * Can you hear * 150 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:17,853 * Our gentle voices calling * 151 00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:24,067 * Old WhiteJoe ** 152 00:11:24,109 --> 00:11:27,028 Thank you, Betty Lee. 153 00:11:27,070 --> 00:11:32,117 Look, Colonel, the folks have come to serenade you. 154 00:11:32,152 --> 00:11:34,411 They love you so much. 155 00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:37,455 I love them too. 156 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,834 Give me that, boy! 157 00:11:46,715 --> 00:11:49,342 Thank you, sir. Quiet down. 158 00:11:49,384 --> 00:11:51,594 - Uncle Frank? - Yes, sir? 159 00:11:51,636 --> 00:11:56,141 - You know my favorite tune. - Sure do, Colonel. 160 00:11:56,266 --> 00:11:59,394 Would you mind if I sat in your lap, Colonel? 161 00:11:59,477 --> 00:12:02,313 Please do, Betty Lee. Please do. 162 00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:08,111 The field hands would like to dance for you. Dance for me? 163 00:12:08,152 --> 00:12:10,655 Why, I'll dance for them! 164 00:12:10,738 --> 00:12:16,619 Yes, sir! * Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay * 165 00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:20,957 * My, oh, my what a wonderful day * 166 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:25,670 * Plenty of sunshine headin' my way * You bet! 167 00:12:25,795 --> 00:12:29,507 * Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay * 168 00:12:29,590 --> 00:12:33,803 * Mr. Bluebird's on my shoulder * 169 00:12:33,845 --> 00:12:37,014 * Ain't it the truth It's actual * 170 00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:39,058 * Everything is satisfactual * 171 00:12:39,142 --> 00:12:43,521 * Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay * 172 00:12:43,604 --> 00:12:47,149 * Wonderful feeling * 173 00:12:47,191 --> 00:12:50,695 * Wonderful day ** 174 00:13:00,955 --> 00:13:03,082 You made it, Mr. Notre Dame. 175 00:13:09,171 --> 00:13:13,050 Mr. Fletcher. I'm Amanda Ray Ross. 176 00:13:13,134 --> 00:13:17,012 I spoke with you on the phone. Oh, yes. That was you? 177 00:13:17,054 --> 00:13:19,098 Great. 178 00:13:19,181 --> 00:13:22,268 Do you have any luggage? Just one piece. 179 00:13:34,196 --> 00:13:36,657 Plannin' on stayin' long? 180 00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:40,869 Just long enough to see Mount Rushmore and squeeze in a little ice fishing. 181 00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:47,000 I'm on the board of the Pontchartrain Society. 182 00:13:47,084 --> 00:13:50,462 We help preserve and restore some of these lovely mansions. 183 00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,345 We headed to Belle Isle? 184 00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:02,099 - You must be dying to see it, Mr. Fletcher. - Call me Fletch. 185 00:14:02,182 --> 00:14:05,852 Your house is not quite as grand as some of the others in the neighborhood. 186 00:14:05,936 --> 00:14:09,648 It doesn't matter. It's the thought that counts. Eighty acres, huh? 187 00:14:09,731 --> 00:14:13,402 Mm-hmm. Isn't it strikin'? 188 00:14:16,738 --> 00:14:20,617 Your aunt tried to keep things in their natural state. 189 00:14:20,701 --> 00:14:23,328 She ever brush her hair? 190 00:14:24,955 --> 00:14:28,125 - I can see you're disappointed. - No, not at all! 191 00:14:28,208 --> 00:14:32,587 A little spackling and some napalm, this place would make a nice mausoleum. 192 00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:46,935 Oh, my God! Are you all right? 193 00:14:47,018 --> 00:14:51,690 Oh! I was aimin' to fix that today. How do you do? 194 00:14:51,773 --> 00:14:54,651 I be Calculus Entterby. You be Mr. And Mrs. Fletcher? 195 00:14:54,693 --> 00:15:00,156 I be Fletch. Geometry Fletch. She be Miss Trigonometry Ross. 196 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:04,702 Pleased, I'm sure. Your Aunt Belle told me you'd be takin' over the place, 197 00:15:04,786 --> 00:15:06,996 and I'm extendin' my "condulations. " 198 00:15:09,207 --> 00:15:11,209 Right. You work here? 199 00:15:11,251 --> 00:15:13,920 Your Aunt Belle and I, we had an arrangement. 200 00:15:14,003 --> 00:15:17,882 And I was hopin' we could make an extenuation of it. 201 00:15:17,966 --> 00:15:22,178 Help me get your stuff out the car here. Come on. 202 00:15:24,013 --> 00:15:25,890 You mind your step. 203 00:15:26,015 --> 00:15:28,142 Our families go back for hundreds of years. 204 00:15:28,226 --> 00:15:33,481 Your great grandparents owned my great grandparents and that's how it all started. 205 00:15:33,564 --> 00:15:35,566 Did you ever hear of the Emancipation Proclamation? 206 00:15:37,235 --> 00:15:40,363 I heard somethin' about it, but I don't recall exactly. 207 00:15:40,446 --> 00:15:44,700 - It didn't get much publicity around these here parts. - I'll bet. 208 00:15:44,784 --> 00:15:47,036 Excuse me, sir. 209 00:15:47,119 --> 00:15:52,041 Could you give me a hand? R- Right here. 210 00:15:52,124 --> 00:15:54,502 Just pull it towards you. Just pull it. 211 00:15:54,544 --> 00:15:57,546 Come on, come on. Just pull it. 212 00:15:57,630 --> 00:15:59,882 Just pull it on over. That's it, that's it. 213 00:15:59,924 --> 00:16:01,884 Don't scar the car. 214 00:16:01,968 --> 00:16:04,679 Is there any electricity or gas? 215 00:16:04,762 --> 00:16:08,641 Everything works. No cable TV, I guess. 216 00:16:08,724 --> 00:16:13,479 If I'd known you was comin', I'd have straightened out a bit and stocked your refrigerator. 217 00:16:13,521 --> 00:16:16,565 No food? No refrigerator. 218 00:16:16,649 --> 00:16:19,652 We need to do some paperwork. Want a lift into town? 219 00:16:19,735 --> 00:16:23,280 What? And leave my estate unattended? It's not yours till you sign. 220 00:16:23,322 --> 00:16:27,159 I can make you some dinner, ease the culture shock. 221 00:16:27,243 --> 00:16:29,335 That sounds great. 222 00:16:29,370 --> 00:16:32,540 Should I be doin' anything? No, not really. 223 00:16:32,623 --> 00:16:35,709 Uh, soon as you get that trunk upstairs and have finished your nap, 224 00:16:35,793 --> 00:16:39,964 I guess you could fix that step and jump down, turn around and pick a bale of cotton. 225 00:16:40,047 --> 00:16:44,009 And while I'm gone, see to it Miss Scarlett stays away from the Union Army, will you? 226 00:16:48,055 --> 00:16:50,349 More wine? 227 00:16:50,432 --> 00:16:52,893 You're not trying to take advantage of me, are you? 228 00:16:52,976 --> 00:16:56,605 Not yet. You need to sign these papers. 229 00:16:59,775 --> 00:17:01,860 Do you mind if I read 'em first? 230 00:17:01,944 --> 00:17:06,198 Be my guest. Had you talked to your aunt recently? 231 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:10,911 That depends on your view of history. It's been 16 years. 232 00:17:12,371 --> 00:17:14,706 Sign all three? Please. 233 00:17:14,748 --> 00:17:18,627 I was just wonderin' because she changed her will three weeks before she died. 234 00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:23,465 Well, lucky for me. Why'd she do that? 235 00:17:23,548 --> 00:17:27,803 I don't know. She was old. Seemed to be under a lot of strain. 236 00:17:30,138 --> 00:17:33,892 Dying always does that to you. 237 00:17:33,934 --> 00:17:38,605 Congratulations. You know, you can make yourself some good money out of this. 238 00:17:38,688 --> 00:17:43,276 A Realtor contacted me with an unusually high offer... 225,000. 239 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:46,071 - Dollars? - Mm-hmm. 240 00:17:46,112 --> 00:17:48,990 Let me ask you this: 241 00:17:49,074 --> 00:17:53,244 If they're so anxious, don't you think if I wait a little longer, they might go up? 242 00:17:53,328 --> 00:17:56,665 - They might. - And I just got here, didn't I? 243 00:17:56,706 --> 00:17:58,500 No sale? 244 00:18:01,544 --> 00:18:05,256 While you're thinking about it, what are you gonna do with the land, Fletch? 245 00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:09,803 I don't know. Raise chitlins... the chitlin' market as high as it is. 246 00:18:09,928 --> 00:18:14,015 They're mean little animals, but their coats are worth a fortune. 247 00:18:15,558 --> 00:18:20,605 $225,000? What do you think I oughta do? 248 00:18:20,647 --> 00:18:26,444 If I were you, I would proceed slowly and carefully. 249 00:18:26,527 --> 00:18:29,155 That's my specialty. 250 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:33,660 - Would you like some dessert? - What do you have in mind? 251 00:18:33,701 --> 00:18:37,705 How 'bout something sweet... and Southern? 252 00:19:17,787 --> 00:19:19,872 I borrowed your toothbrush. 253 00:19:19,955 --> 00:19:24,001 Would've used your razor, but it looks like you've been doing some gardening with it. 254 00:19:25,795 --> 00:19:29,840 Gee, I can't believe we slept this late. 255 00:19:29,924 --> 00:19:34,428 Amanda? Want to drive into Belle Isle? 256 00:19:39,099 --> 00:19:41,101 I guess not. 257 00:19:49,068 --> 00:19:51,570 It was good, but not that good. 258 00:19:54,782 --> 00:19:59,870 'Morning, Mr. Fletcher. If that's your real name. I'm BillyJo Hendrick. 259 00:19:59,912 --> 00:20:02,539 Howdy. 260 00:20:02,623 --> 00:20:04,875 What's your relationship to Amanda Ray? 261 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,252 She was my attorney. 262 00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:10,881 She was working on my briefs. 263 00:20:10,964 --> 00:20:14,760 - You come into town, y'all just hit it off? - So to speak. 264 00:20:14,843 --> 00:20:19,431 Sparks just flew. That's what you're gonna tell me. 265 00:20:19,514 --> 00:20:22,059 Wonder why things like that never happen to me? 266 00:20:22,142 --> 00:20:24,686 Wonder why! 267 00:20:26,688 --> 00:20:30,859 Were y'all usin' some drugs you brought in from California by any chance? 268 00:20:30,901 --> 00:20:33,737 Just some Beaujolais. 269 00:20:33,820 --> 00:20:36,281 Beaujolais? 270 00:20:36,364 --> 00:20:39,034 It's a pretty popular drug made from grapes? 271 00:20:39,075 --> 00:20:41,912 - You feel like makin' a statement? - A statement? 272 00:20:45,499 --> 00:20:48,793 "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. " 273 00:20:48,877 --> 00:20:51,713 I guess you just wanna make it hard on everybody. 274 00:20:51,755 --> 00:20:57,302 Well, let's see how you feel after some time in the tank. Y'all come. 275 00:20:57,385 --> 00:20:59,304 All of us? Just you. 276 00:20:59,387 --> 00:21:02,766 - What's the charge? - Pissin' me off. 277 00:21:02,849 --> 00:21:05,268 Is that a felony or a misdemeanor? That's it! 278 00:21:08,646 --> 00:21:12,400 You're cleaner than most of the ones we get around here. 279 00:21:12,484 --> 00:21:16,988 You smell nice. I expect you'll be popular. 280 00:21:17,071 --> 00:21:19,240 Do you realize you have to read me my rights? 281 00:21:19,324 --> 00:21:22,744 Or at least find someone who can read to do it for you. 282 00:21:28,041 --> 00:21:32,337 A little gamy in here. Not much ventilation, huh? 283 00:21:33,671 --> 00:21:35,632 How's the chow? 284 00:21:44,140 --> 00:21:48,603 You know, you really shouldn't wear so much eye makeup. It makes you look cheap. 285 00:21:48,686 --> 00:21:51,355 You're sittin' on my bunk. 286 00:21:51,439 --> 00:21:54,025 Sorry. Shut up! 287 00:21:58,112 --> 00:21:59,989 Take your pants off. 288 00:22:03,659 --> 00:22:06,704 Ah, I don't even know your name. 289 00:22:06,787 --> 00:22:08,873 Bend over. 290 00:22:08,956 --> 00:22:12,001 Ben? Nice to meet you. Victor Hugo. 291 00:22:12,084 --> 00:22:16,005 You wouldn't happen to have a middle name, would you? Everybody else here seems to. 292 00:22:16,088 --> 00:22:20,134 - What are you in for, Ben? - Molesting a dead horse. 293 00:22:20,217 --> 00:22:23,721 Ooh, there's no crime in that. 294 00:22:23,804 --> 00:22:27,767 That's your right as an American. I'm tryin' to cut down myself. 295 00:22:27,850 --> 00:22:32,313 His missus hit him on the head with a ball pein hammer whilst he was eatin' sausage... 296 00:22:32,396 --> 00:22:35,983 and almost choked him to death. 297 00:22:36,066 --> 00:22:41,572 Okay, beautiful, let's hope another long night in the tank has sobered you up. 298 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,536 Ben? 299 00:22:47,620 --> 00:22:51,040 If I don't hear from you on Valentine's Day, I'll be very disappointed. 300 00:22:55,502 --> 00:22:58,672 Mr. Johnson, I'm surprised to see you here. 301 00:22:58,714 --> 00:23:02,718 Judge Watkins usually assigns these small potatoes to Billy Ray. 302 00:23:02,801 --> 00:23:07,681 Well, he's on vacation. This is the price I pay for the proximity of my office. 303 00:23:07,723 --> 00:23:10,017 Excuse me. Sir? 304 00:23:10,058 --> 00:23:13,145 You don't have a card, do you? Or a price list? 305 00:23:13,187 --> 00:23:16,982 Well, matter of fact, I do. 306 00:23:18,192 --> 00:23:21,361 I'm Hamilton Johnson. I'm an attorney at law. 307 00:23:21,486 --> 00:23:25,407 You take other cases or you just specialize in transvestite necrophiliacs? 308 00:23:25,490 --> 00:23:27,993 Not enough evidence to hold you. 309 00:23:28,076 --> 00:23:32,998 Just a petty form of intimidation putting you in a cell with that Neanderthal. 310 00:23:33,081 --> 00:23:36,668 She wasn't so bad. If she'd just fix up her hair and shave her back. 311 00:23:36,793 --> 00:23:41,339 It's so embarrassin', this sort of thing still goes on in the New South. 312 00:23:41,423 --> 00:23:46,803 'Course, 20 years ago a Yankee like you could've been lyin' in the ditch. 313 00:23:46,887 --> 00:23:49,556 I'm assumin', of course, 314 00:23:49,598 --> 00:23:53,518 that you had nothin' whatsoever to do with the death of Amanda Ray. 315 00:23:53,602 --> 00:23:56,855 Sure hope not. Hop in. 316 00:23:56,897 --> 00:23:59,816 I was shocked to hear about this. 317 00:23:59,900 --> 00:24:01,818 She was such a dear friend. 318 00:24:01,901 --> 00:24:03,862 So tragic... 319 00:24:03,903 --> 00:24:08,116 when this happens to somebody so young and healthy. 320 00:24:08,199 --> 00:24:11,911 Was she feelin' all right last night? She felt great to me. 321 00:24:11,953 --> 00:24:16,124 Just smell that soft Southern air. 322 00:24:16,207 --> 00:24:21,129 It's so sad to see this beautiful pastoral countryside... 323 00:24:21,212 --> 00:24:25,467 blighted by the greed of a few men in pursuit of the almighty dollar. 324 00:24:25,550 --> 00:24:28,386 That's my place over there. 325 00:24:28,469 --> 00:24:32,807 The trees just beyond it screen off the Bibleland Amusement Park in the daytime, 326 00:24:32,891 --> 00:24:35,101 but at night, they do make a hell of a racket. 327 00:24:41,983 --> 00:24:46,029 - Thanks for everything, Hamilton. - Most welcome. Just call me Ham. 328 00:24:47,488 --> 00:24:50,199 Ham, call me Fletch. 329 00:24:50,283 --> 00:24:54,912 All right, Fletch. Anything I can do to help ya. 330 00:24:56,122 --> 00:24:58,291 Fletch! 331 00:24:58,332 --> 00:25:01,335 - Might I give you some personal advice? - Is it free? 332 00:25:01,419 --> 00:25:05,715 To the sheriff and his sort of people, you're an outsider. 333 00:25:05,756 --> 00:25:08,092 Guilty in spite of the law. 334 00:25:08,134 --> 00:25:11,095 Should I get outta town before sundown? 335 00:25:11,137 --> 00:25:13,806 It's not that bad, but... 336 00:25:13,848 --> 00:25:17,518 if I were you, lookin' for peace and quiet... 337 00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:21,188 Well, they can make it a might uncomfortable for ya. 338 00:25:21,272 --> 00:25:24,191 It's gonna take time. Thanks, Ham. 339 00:25:24,275 --> 00:25:26,402 Bye. 340 00:25:26,485 --> 00:25:28,487 My pleasure. 341 00:25:28,571 --> 00:25:31,615 Anything I can do for ya. 342 00:25:48,966 --> 00:25:54,138 Welcome back. I thought you run off for good. Does this car run? 343 00:25:54,263 --> 00:25:59,226 Yeah, but Miss Belle stopped drivin' it when the brakes ran out. 344 00:25:59,351 --> 00:26:02,187 I run a few errands from time to time, 345 00:26:02,229 --> 00:26:05,232 but if you wanna stop it, you got to think ahead. 346 00:26:06,817 --> 00:26:11,488 Hmm. I finally got the place straightened out for you. 347 00:26:11,613 --> 00:26:14,533 Mm-hmm. When was that? Back in 1970? 348 00:26:14,658 --> 00:26:20,038 Your Aunt Belle, she lived in this one room. Didn't take up much space. 349 00:26:20,122 --> 00:26:22,040 Calculus? Hmm? 350 00:26:22,124 --> 00:26:24,376 You don't see a spider, do you? 351 00:26:26,044 --> 00:26:31,842 Spiders is good. They eats the cockroaches. Yeah, sure they do. 352 00:26:31,967 --> 00:26:34,386 Mister Owl. 353 00:26:34,428 --> 00:26:37,889 This is more like it. This is what I came here for. 354 00:26:38,015 --> 00:26:41,518 Yes, sir. Peace and quiet. 355 00:26:41,601 --> 00:26:46,273 Scum, scum, scum.! Go back to where you come.! 356 00:26:46,356 --> 00:26:49,317 - Friends of yours? - Nothin' to me. 357 00:26:49,401 --> 00:26:52,028 "The loyal sons of the... 358 00:26:52,070 --> 00:26:55,991 Buford, where's the cross. Did you bring the cross? 359 00:26:56,074 --> 00:27:01,162 "White race will not allow any kind of alien infection... 360 00:27:02,330 --> 00:27:04,624 to invade our beloved land. " 361 00:27:06,543 --> 00:27:11,756 Scum, scum, scum. Go back to where you come. 362 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:16,261 Let's do it together. Scum, scum, scum. Go back... 363 00:27:16,344 --> 00:27:20,265 Get the hell outta here and go home! Scum! Pigs! 364 00:27:20,348 --> 00:27:22,267 Sorry I'm late. 365 00:27:22,350 --> 00:27:25,437 Who goes there? Henry Himmler. 366 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,773 What klavan claims you? California klavan, Cucamonga. 367 00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:30,775 California? 368 00:27:30,817 --> 00:27:34,112 Yeah. I was passing through town and was lookin' for something to do this evening. 369 00:27:34,195 --> 00:27:36,656 There was nothing goin' on at the Rotary Club. I heard about this. 370 00:27:36,739 --> 00:27:39,576 Welcome, Henry. I'm the Grand Kleagle. 371 00:27:39,617 --> 00:27:41,578 Oh. 372 00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:50,670 California thing. Pig-faced scum! 373 00:27:50,753 --> 00:27:55,967 What's the occasion here? Oh, some undesirable carpetbagger... I think. 374 00:27:56,050 --> 00:28:01,681 Damn! Boys, I just got a closer peek. There's nobody in there. 375 00:28:01,764 --> 00:28:05,935 We're wasting our time. 376 00:28:09,939 --> 00:28:14,485 - And I washed all these sheets.! - Wh-Who's this? 377 00:28:14,527 --> 00:28:18,614 Oh. Sorry. Hi, fellas. Hank Himmler. 378 00:28:18,698 --> 00:28:20,575 Hi, Hank. 379 00:28:20,616 --> 00:28:25,830 The cross won't burn, nobody home. Hell, it ain't like it used to be. 380 00:28:25,955 --> 00:28:28,374 You said it. 381 00:28:28,457 --> 00:28:33,504 I couldn't get more than 13 guys out here tonight. Five of them are green recruits. 382 00:28:33,587 --> 00:28:35,881 Kinda stand-ins, you know what I mean? Yeah. 383 00:28:35,965 --> 00:28:39,301 We call 'em Klookies. Klookies? 384 00:28:39,343 --> 00:28:44,098 That's good! Of course, it's just a contract job. 385 00:28:44,181 --> 00:28:46,142 Yeah. Contract job? 386 00:28:46,183 --> 00:28:50,271 Yeah.! We've been havin' a terrible time down here. We've had to rent out. 387 00:28:56,527 --> 00:28:58,737 Here I come! 388 00:29:01,115 --> 00:29:04,201 Gene Hackman, kick your ass. 389 00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:06,370 They're speakin' some kind of African dialect! 390 00:29:13,961 --> 00:29:15,879 Hi. 391 00:29:33,855 --> 00:29:35,816 'Morning. 392 00:29:35,857 --> 00:29:38,402 - Mr. Fletcher? - As far as you know. 393 00:29:38,485 --> 00:29:41,154 I'm Becky Ann Culpepper. Thibodaux Realty. 394 00:29:41,238 --> 00:29:46,284 I'd offer you some coffee and eggs Benedict, but we're all out of Benedict. 395 00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:47,994 Thanks. I've already eaten. 396 00:29:48,036 --> 00:29:50,580 What can I do to... for you? 397 00:29:50,664 --> 00:29:55,669 Mr. Fletcher, you may have heard that there's a party interested in acquiring your property. 398 00:29:55,752 --> 00:29:58,004 A substantial offer. 399 00:29:59,422 --> 00:30:02,050 How substantial? 400 00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:04,177 $250,000. 401 00:30:04,219 --> 00:30:07,806 Whew! I don't know. 402 00:30:07,889 --> 00:30:10,767 I had big plans for this place. 403 00:30:10,892 --> 00:30:13,937 Mini mall with a yogurt bar and a tanning parlor. 404 00:30:14,020 --> 00:30:17,232 Well, Mr. Fletcher, all I know is $250,000... 405 00:30:17,274 --> 00:30:21,236 is a mighty generous price for land in this area. 406 00:30:21,277 --> 00:30:25,365 Who's your client? I'm not at liberty to say. 407 00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:28,284 Well, then I'm not at liberty to sell. 408 00:30:28,368 --> 00:30:30,328 This is a tremendous opportunity. 409 00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:34,541 I'll tell you what. I'll consult with my people who will contact their people, 410 00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:36,751 and they'll get in touch with your people. 411 00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:39,128 Who are your people? 412 00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:43,716 - Who are yours? - As I said, I have to keep that confidential. 413 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:48,888 Very well. I'll just have my people contact each other. Keep 'em busy. 414 00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:52,141 All right. Well, just keep me in mind. Here's my card. 415 00:30:52,225 --> 00:30:54,143 Oh, I'll keep you in mind. 416 00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:57,397 Hope we can do this again sometime soon. 417 00:30:58,564 --> 00:31:00,650 In about 10 minutes? 418 00:31:09,700 --> 00:31:13,538 That night I decided to return to the scene of the crime. 419 00:31:13,621 --> 00:31:17,500 It gave me a chance to check out my new car and practice my parallel parking. 420 00:31:27,468 --> 00:31:31,013 So far the only really good suspect in Amanda's death was me, 421 00:31:31,097 --> 00:31:34,475 and I was pretty sure that I didn't do it. 422 00:31:34,558 --> 00:31:37,895 Amanda knew more than she'd let on, but the only clue she'd left me... 423 00:31:37,978 --> 00:31:41,816 was a reference to Aunt Belle changing her will just before she died. 424 00:31:43,651 --> 00:31:46,946 I knew the local police force was watching her place carefully... 425 00:31:46,987 --> 00:31:49,824 so there'd be no trouble getting in. 426 00:31:49,907 --> 00:31:53,828 Over the years I found Mr. Underhill's credit card to be a useful tool... 427 00:31:53,911 --> 00:31:56,163 much like Underhill himself. 428 00:32:10,260 --> 00:32:14,056 As usual, I was willing to risk my lifejust to get a peek into a filing cabinet. 429 00:32:14,139 --> 00:32:18,560 I love them when they're unlocked, neatly organized and tell me what I wanna know. 430 00:32:18,644 --> 00:32:20,944 Belle's legal files were in good order... 431 00:32:20,979 --> 00:32:24,024 with the exception of something missing under the heading of"Bluebird. " 432 00:32:26,652 --> 00:32:29,112 My aunt had almost left Belle Isle to some minister. 433 00:32:29,154 --> 00:32:33,200 Obviously at one time he must have touched her deeply. 434 00:32:33,283 --> 00:32:36,161 Since she changed her mind, I guess he didn't touch her deeply enough... 435 00:32:36,245 --> 00:32:38,205 or in the right place. 436 00:32:44,836 --> 00:32:48,507 Thank you very much. Couldn't find that light switch. 437 00:32:48,590 --> 00:32:52,928 What the hell you doin' here? This is a restricted area. Didn't you see the sign? 438 00:32:53,011 --> 00:32:57,349 Signs? Signs! That's all I see is signs. Look at this. 439 00:32:57,432 --> 00:33:01,269 Stressed out "dormants" on the windows, walls that are deplaning to an alarming degree. 440 00:33:01,353 --> 00:33:05,190 Deplaning? This house is obviously infested with reticulermes Mario Cuomos. 441 00:33:05,232 --> 00:33:07,692 What's that? What's what? 442 00:33:07,734 --> 00:33:10,737 Reticulermes. You can't even say it yourself. 443 00:33:10,779 --> 00:33:13,907 They are deadly African microscopic termites. 444 00:33:13,990 --> 00:33:17,535 They can eat a hundred times their weight in five minutes. 445 00:33:17,619 --> 00:33:19,955 Much like yourself. From the look of things, I'd say... 446 00:33:20,038 --> 00:33:22,707 this place is about ready to collapse. Who are you? 447 00:33:22,749 --> 00:33:26,378 BillieJean King, Bug Busters. My van is parked out front. 448 00:33:26,461 --> 00:33:29,130 Mr. King, I don't know nothin' about no Bug Busters. 449 00:33:29,214 --> 00:33:33,551 The surgeon general was right. They've been mighty busy here. 450 00:33:35,762 --> 00:33:39,682 The only time you can catch 'em is at night. 451 00:33:41,518 --> 00:33:44,771 Aha! I got one! See that? 452 00:33:44,854 --> 00:33:48,358 These little buggers are the piranhas of the insect world. 453 00:33:48,441 --> 00:33:51,069 The only thing they like better than wood is human flesh. Really? 454 00:33:51,152 --> 00:33:53,738 You bet. If you can't see it, how do you know you got one? 455 00:33:53,863 --> 00:33:58,076 I'm glad I asked that question. They make this horrible high-pitched noise. 456 00:33:58,117 --> 00:34:02,455 It's kinda like a tiny little scream. Can you hear that? 457 00:34:02,497 --> 00:34:05,416 Can you hear that? It's like a tiny little piglet. 458 00:34:05,458 --> 00:34:09,587 No? Uh-oh. I seem to have dropped it in your ear. You what? 459 00:34:09,622 --> 00:34:11,554 That's all right. 460 00:34:11,589 --> 00:34:16,469 We better get that. Can't let that nest in there. They multiply by masturbation. 461 00:34:16,552 --> 00:34:19,555 The only way to get that out is to get as close to the floor as you can. 462 00:34:19,639 --> 00:34:23,017 Go on down to the floor. That's right. They're drawn to the floorboards. 463 00:34:23,100 --> 00:34:25,895 Now shake your head like you're trying to get water out of your ear. 464 00:34:25,937 --> 00:34:29,815 That's good. But hit it... No, hit it harder. This side. That's right. 465 00:34:29,899 --> 00:34:33,486 Now make that scream. That'll draw 'em out. Squeal like a pig. 466 00:34:33,611 --> 00:34:36,405 A little higher. Hey, I found the queen! 467 00:34:36,489 --> 00:34:39,909 I found the queen! I don't believe it. No one's ever found a queen. 468 00:34:39,992 --> 00:34:42,453 I gotta get this to the lab and get a stool sample. 469 00:34:53,214 --> 00:34:57,176 After my close call with Miss Piggy, I couldn't wait to get home. 470 00:34:57,218 --> 00:34:59,220 My head was filled with decorating ideas. 471 00:34:59,303 --> 00:35:03,432 I didn't have a lot of money, but I could move the pool closer to the house. 472 00:35:09,396 --> 00:35:13,484 I could see I wasn't gonna get much privacy. 473 00:35:55,776 --> 00:35:58,362 - Who's there? - It's Avon calling. 474 00:35:59,529 --> 00:36:01,323 Oh.! It's you.! 475 00:36:01,406 --> 00:36:06,078 - I'd like to talk to you for a minute. - Yeah, come on in. 476 00:36:06,161 --> 00:36:08,497 Come on in. Have a seat. Make yourself at home. 477 00:36:08,580 --> 00:36:12,834 What's on your mind? 478 00:36:12,918 --> 00:36:15,170 Well... 479 00:36:17,464 --> 00:36:19,841 What do you do? Mud wrestle in this thing? 480 00:36:19,925 --> 00:36:22,677 I'm sorry about that, but I won it in a raffle. 481 00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:28,183 Must be an art to sitting in one of these. Lost art. 482 00:36:28,224 --> 00:36:31,353 You get the Lakers? I'm lucky if I can get Wheel of Fortune. 483 00:36:31,436 --> 00:36:34,439 Do you know any reason why somebody would want to buy this land? 484 00:36:34,522 --> 00:36:36,441 Insect research. 485 00:36:36,524 --> 00:36:39,069 Boston two-and-a-halfback of the Yankees. 486 00:36:39,152 --> 00:36:41,071 I have an offer for $250,000. 487 00:36:41,154 --> 00:36:46,701 Take the money and run! What you thinkin'? 488 00:36:46,743 --> 00:36:49,836 What do you know about this Farnsworth Ministry? 489 00:36:49,871 --> 00:36:54,709 Jimmy Lee Farnsworth? Down here everybody knows about him. 490 00:36:54,751 --> 00:36:57,962 Your Aunt Belle used to watch him when she was laid up. 491 00:36:58,046 --> 00:37:01,507 ...And that is have you've been saved? 492 00:37:03,426 --> 00:37:07,055 I know that there are a lot of you out there tonight... 493 00:37:07,138 --> 00:37:12,185 that the devil has got a good, firm grip around your neck and is choking you to death.! 494 00:37:12,268 --> 00:37:14,062 Amen! 495 00:37:14,103 --> 00:37:16,606 I want you to send whatever you can afford. 496 00:37:16,689 --> 00:37:18,983 If you've got a thousand dollars in the bank, 497 00:37:19,067 --> 00:37:22,236 don't be afraid to send the whole thousand dollars. 498 00:37:22,278 --> 00:37:26,324 I need your money. Bibleland is only halfway there. 499 00:37:26,407 --> 00:37:29,994 Bible... land. The most important attraction... 500 00:37:30,077 --> 00:37:32,288 since the crucifixion itself. 501 00:37:32,371 --> 00:37:34,874 Immediate seating for the 5:00 service. 502 00:37:34,957 --> 00:37:37,460 The 5:00 service is about to begin. 503 00:37:37,501 --> 00:37:40,254 Immediate seating for the 5:00 service. 504 00:37:40,338 --> 00:37:43,466 Welcome, sinner. Praise the Lord! 505 00:37:43,549 --> 00:37:47,219 Bless you, bless her, bless him. Hallelujah! Name please. 506 00:37:47,303 --> 00:37:51,349 Irwin Fletcher. Irwin M. Fletcher. Irwin Mahatma Fletcher. 507 00:37:51,432 --> 00:37:53,350 Address. Seven. 508 00:37:53,434 --> 00:37:56,604 It's time for the 4,323rd edition... 509 00:37:56,687 --> 00:37:59,940 of the Farnsworth Television Ministry with... 510 00:38:00,024 --> 00:38:03,444 Mimsy Carlyle, God's own songbird. 511 00:38:03,486 --> 00:38:06,864 The heavenly feet of Damon Feather. 512 00:38:08,324 --> 00:38:12,077 Mr. Coco. The Ringfield Revivalists. 513 00:38:12,119 --> 00:38:16,123 The Bradley Family Singers and Ted Medly and the band. 514 00:38:16,206 --> 00:38:21,420 And now, the host of our show, the ministry's founder and your friend... 515 00:38:21,462 --> 00:38:26,508 Mr. Good News himself, the Reverend Jimmy Lee Farnsworth. 516 00:38:37,686 --> 00:38:42,483 I know that there is someone out there tonight... 517 00:38:42,524 --> 00:38:45,944 who needs to step forward. 518 00:38:45,986 --> 00:38:47,946 Lyda Pearl Shindley. 519 00:38:47,988 --> 00:38:49,615 Me? 520 00:38:49,698 --> 00:38:54,328 Lyda Pearl, come on down here.! Give her a big hand, folks.! Make her welcome.! 521 00:38:54,411 --> 00:38:57,164 All right.! 522 00:38:59,583 --> 00:39:01,960 Bless you. God bless you. 523 00:39:03,712 --> 00:39:07,966 I know that you suffered a terrible tragedy when you lostJo Bob... 524 00:39:08,050 --> 00:39:12,220 in the merry-go-round accident at the State Fair. I did. 525 00:39:12,304 --> 00:39:16,266 I also know thatJo Bob left you financially stable. 526 00:39:16,349 --> 00:39:18,310 But answer me this one question. 527 00:39:18,351 --> 00:39:22,647 Has all of them riches brung you happiness, child? 528 00:39:22,689 --> 00:39:25,150 No, they haven't. I've sinned. 529 00:39:25,192 --> 00:39:27,861 We've all sinned. 530 00:39:27,944 --> 00:39:31,740 I know, but I've really sinned. 531 00:39:31,823 --> 00:39:35,201 Please, God, have her not mention my name. 532 00:39:35,243 --> 00:39:39,122 Say it aloud so your soul might be cleansed. 533 00:39:39,205 --> 00:39:43,293 I'm so ashamed. I slept with my best friend's husband. 534 00:39:43,376 --> 00:39:47,213 You are forgiven. Praise the Lord. Amen! 535 00:39:47,297 --> 00:39:52,010 - And I also slept with my UncleJames. - You are forgiven, child. 536 00:39:52,051 --> 00:39:56,139 Ladies and gentlemen, doesn't it take a tremendous amount of courage... 537 00:39:56,222 --> 00:39:59,642 to come up here on nationwide cable hookup... 538 00:39:59,726 --> 00:40:02,645 and confess to human frailties? 539 00:40:02,687 --> 00:40:06,733 And I also shoplifted this blouse and... You've been forgiven. 540 00:40:06,816 --> 00:40:09,027 Demons out! 541 00:40:09,110 --> 00:40:12,363 Praise be.! Praise the Lord.! 542 00:40:12,447 --> 00:40:18,202 - Ladies and gentlemen, praise be, praise the Lord. - Bravo! 543 00:40:18,244 --> 00:40:21,539 Surely Lyda Pearl was not alone. 544 00:40:21,622 --> 00:40:26,169 Surely there is someone else out there whose life is full of confusion. 545 00:40:26,252 --> 00:40:29,547 Irwin M. Fletcher just inherited Belle Isle. I sense grief. 546 00:40:29,589 --> 00:40:32,884 I sense deep grief and loneliness. 547 00:40:32,925 --> 00:40:36,137 I sense a recent bereavement. 548 00:40:36,220 --> 00:40:40,141 Someone who has lost an uncle or an aunt. 549 00:40:40,224 --> 00:40:42,727 Mr. Fletcher. 550 00:40:44,353 --> 00:40:48,733 - Mr. Irwin M. Fletcher. - That's me. 551 00:40:48,774 --> 00:40:51,235 Are you out there? Step forward, young man. 552 00:40:51,277 --> 00:40:55,072 The Lord's calling to you. Come on up here. Give him a big hand. 553 00:40:55,156 --> 00:40:59,076 Make him welcome. Come on down here. 554 00:41:05,082 --> 00:41:09,962 Your Aunt Belle recently passed away, didn't she, son? Yes, she did. Yeah. 555 00:41:10,045 --> 00:41:14,341 Are you still grieving in your heart, son? 556 00:41:14,425 --> 00:41:16,385 Absolutely. 557 00:41:16,468 --> 00:41:20,389 And even her generous gift to ya of the ancestral home, 558 00:41:20,472 --> 00:41:22,433 the beautiful Belle Isle, 559 00:41:22,474 --> 00:41:28,105 has not eased the grief, pain and sufferin' in your heart now, has it? 560 00:41:28,188 --> 00:41:30,357 Not a hell of a lot. No. 561 00:41:30,441 --> 00:41:33,902 Irwin, admit that you are a sinner. 562 00:41:36,363 --> 00:41:41,535 Uh, well I've sinned. Didn't take any Polaroids or anything. 563 00:41:41,618 --> 00:41:44,705 But... I've sinned. Yeah. 564 00:41:44,788 --> 00:41:47,708 The Lord forgives ya! 565 00:41:47,791 --> 00:41:51,753 Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. 566 00:41:51,837 --> 00:41:54,464 Thank you. Amen. 567 00:41:54,506 --> 00:41:57,301 What? Other sins? 568 00:41:57,342 --> 00:42:02,472 Uh, I parked in a handicapped spot on my way over here. 569 00:42:02,597 --> 00:42:04,808 Actually on a handicapped person. 570 00:42:04,850 --> 00:42:09,021 I told him I'd be out in five minutes so that's not such a big deal. 571 00:42:09,104 --> 00:42:14,359 There have been other things. They're personal, so I wouldn't wanna get into it on TV. 572 00:42:14,443 --> 00:42:17,362 But I have sinned and I'm sorry about it. Thanks. 573 00:42:17,446 --> 00:42:20,449 God forgives ya! Amen.! 574 00:42:20,532 --> 00:42:24,202 The good Lord is gonna ease... 575 00:42:24,286 --> 00:42:27,497 the pain and sufferin' in your heart... 576 00:42:27,581 --> 00:42:30,208 with a bright light of grace. 577 00:42:30,292 --> 00:42:35,505 Look out, you demons! Demons, demons, out! 578 00:42:36,965 --> 00:42:40,135 Oh! That was great. 579 00:42:40,218 --> 00:42:42,762 Praise the Lord. 580 00:42:42,846 --> 00:42:47,058 Another soul saved byJimmy Lee Farnsworth. How about that? 581 00:42:47,142 --> 00:42:51,020 I dangled Belle Isle like bait in front of Jimmy Lee and he took the hook. 582 00:42:51,062 --> 00:42:55,358 I could tell, at the heart, he was a deeply religious man and I liked his teeth. 583 00:42:55,442 --> 00:42:57,527 Once we've had a chance to expand, 584 00:42:57,652 --> 00:43:01,030 Bibleland's gonna be like some kind of heaven on earth... 585 00:43:01,072 --> 00:43:03,867 if it isn't already. 586 00:43:03,950 --> 00:43:06,661 - There's the hotel. - Hi, Reverend. 587 00:43:06,786 --> 00:43:09,706 We call it the Heavenly Hilton and Convention Center. 588 00:43:09,831 --> 00:43:13,543 Beyond that is the Farnsworth Bible College. 589 00:43:13,626 --> 00:43:16,587 If you look down the road, you see theJump forJesus Trampoline Center. 590 00:43:16,671 --> 00:43:19,841 - What do you think? - It's unbelievable. 591 00:43:19,882 --> 00:43:22,927 You don't suppose I use too many photographs of myself, do ya? 592 00:43:23,052 --> 00:43:26,556 No! No! It worked for the Ayatollah. 593 00:43:26,597 --> 00:43:29,392 Mr. Fletcher, your Belle Isle's a bit rundown. 594 00:43:29,475 --> 00:43:31,978 That sucker's gonna eat you alive in maintenance. 595 00:43:32,061 --> 00:43:35,398 You don't know how much your land would mean to our ministry. 596 00:43:35,481 --> 00:43:39,861 And to God, too, of course. After all, he does give us our guidance now, doesn't he? 597 00:43:39,902 --> 00:43:42,029 - Amen! - You bet your ass. 598 00:43:42,697 --> 00:43:45,199 Like my mother used to say, "There's a tick for every dog. " 599 00:43:45,283 --> 00:43:47,243 What did your mother mean by that? 600 00:43:47,285 --> 00:43:52,331 Why in God's name you let Farnsworth's ministry burrow into your fur? 601 00:43:52,415 --> 00:43:57,586 Why would you even think of givin' away your property when you got a big cash offer on it? 602 00:43:57,712 --> 00:44:00,381 I don't know. I guess I thought, after a lifetime of hedonism, 603 00:44:00,423 --> 00:44:03,718 it was time to rededicate my life. 604 00:44:03,843 --> 00:44:08,139 Nah, I just wanted to see what would happen if I went along with him. 605 00:44:08,180 --> 00:44:11,934 Well, it happened. The sheriff's office called. 606 00:44:11,976 --> 00:44:14,311 The charges against you have been dropped. 607 00:44:14,395 --> 00:44:16,188 Is that right? Mm-hmm. 608 00:44:16,272 --> 00:44:20,234 The ministry has a good deal of influence around here. 609 00:44:20,317 --> 00:44:22,987 I suppose you've heard that your... 610 00:44:23,112 --> 00:44:28,450 aunt was under considerable emotional strain in the weeks before she died? 611 00:44:28,492 --> 00:44:31,370 Yeah, I've heard that. 612 00:44:31,453 --> 00:44:34,123 So was my mother. 613 00:44:34,206 --> 00:44:37,626 They took advantage of her. These Holy Rollers. 614 00:44:37,668 --> 00:44:42,339 When she was at death's door, they preyed on her faith and her fear. 615 00:44:42,423 --> 00:44:44,758 When she was no longer able to make rational decisions, 616 00:44:44,842 --> 00:44:48,512 persuaded her to give away our land for that amusement park. 617 00:44:48,637 --> 00:44:52,975 My guess is that your speedy conversion and your promised gift... 618 00:44:53,058 --> 00:44:57,312 played no small part in the charges against you being dropped. 619 00:45:00,983 --> 00:45:02,901 Well, whatever. 620 00:45:02,943 --> 00:45:05,904 At least I'm off the hook. 621 00:45:05,988 --> 00:45:09,950 And who or what do they think is responsible for Amanda Ray's death? 622 00:45:10,033 --> 00:45:12,285 The autopsy report come in today. 623 00:45:12,369 --> 00:45:15,872 They said she died of a heart attack. Natural causes. 624 00:45:15,956 --> 00:45:19,167 Either she had some congenital defect... 625 00:45:19,209 --> 00:45:23,213 or... you're one hell of a lover. 626 00:45:25,257 --> 00:45:27,134 Probably both. 627 00:45:27,259 --> 00:45:32,889 I needed more background on Farnsworth so I called Frank for a favor. 628 00:45:32,973 --> 00:45:36,059 Maybe I should've asked him to check out Calculus Entterby. 629 00:45:36,142 --> 00:45:39,271 I liked him, but I wasn't buying his Amos and Andy routine. 630 00:45:39,354 --> 00:45:41,606 He seemed a lot smarter than that. 631 00:45:41,690 --> 00:45:45,860 I never took you to be no murderer. That's a relief. 632 00:45:45,944 --> 00:45:49,698 So who's the odds on favorite now? 633 00:45:49,781 --> 00:45:52,033 Nobody. 634 00:45:52,117 --> 00:45:55,078 They're sayin' she dropped dead in her sleep. Yeah! 635 00:45:57,622 --> 00:45:59,541 The odds on that? 636 00:45:59,624 --> 00:46:02,168 Same as catchin' a bass this afternoon. 637 00:46:04,379 --> 00:46:06,548 What's that? 638 00:46:06,631 --> 00:46:09,384 About 258,000 to one. 639 00:46:18,810 --> 00:46:21,062 You sure you don't wanna back out? 640 00:46:21,104 --> 00:46:23,898 I'm in. 641 00:46:25,733 --> 00:46:28,611 This be the morgue? Have the police come yet? 642 00:46:28,695 --> 00:46:33,116 What? The police! They was bringing a doctor to make a death certificate. 643 00:46:33,199 --> 00:46:36,869 You got a stiff, boy, you're in the right place. Where is it? 644 00:46:36,953 --> 00:46:39,330 In my Cadillac. 645 00:46:39,372 --> 00:46:42,708 Put him on the gurney. Take him in the back with the rest of'em. 646 00:46:42,792 --> 00:46:45,253 Don't bother me. I'm watchin The Terminator. 647 00:46:45,336 --> 00:46:48,089 You better put a steerin'wheel on that. Excuse me, sir. 648 00:46:48,172 --> 00:46:51,050 I'll be right back now. 649 00:46:53,094 --> 00:46:57,223 - What's that stickin' out? - His lucky golf cap. 650 00:46:57,265 --> 00:46:59,225 Hey.! 651 00:47:01,727 --> 00:47:04,855 You gotta tag his toe. 652 00:47:04,939 --> 00:47:08,275 - He got a name? - Eldridge Cleaver. 653 00:47:08,359 --> 00:47:11,904 Take him in the back, strip him. Hold it. 654 00:47:11,987 --> 00:47:16,826 Let's see what Mr. Cleaver has, or should I say, had. 655 00:47:22,164 --> 00:47:24,625 Wait a minute. Shouldn't I get that? 656 00:47:24,708 --> 00:47:26,669 Tell you what. I'll make you a deal. 657 00:47:26,752 --> 00:47:31,632 You call me whenever you want, I'll tell you what time it is. 658 00:47:31,715 --> 00:47:34,301 Now get movin; 659 00:47:40,474 --> 00:47:43,102 - Eldridge Cleaver. - Shh. 660 00:47:44,395 --> 00:47:46,313 Good evening, Mr. Hoffa. 661 00:47:46,397 --> 00:47:49,942 Amanda Ross. Amanda Ross. Five. 662 00:48:04,915 --> 00:48:08,502 ** 663 00:48:29,064 --> 00:48:32,192 Can I take a look? Yeah, go on. 664 00:48:51,836 --> 00:48:53,546 Boo! 665 00:48:53,630 --> 00:48:56,132 Any mail for me? 666 00:48:56,216 --> 00:48:58,343 You don't have a Tic-Tac, do you? 667 00:48:58,385 --> 00:49:00,345 What happened? I black out? 668 00:49:00,387 --> 00:49:03,223 Did I land the plane safely? Passengers hurt? 669 00:49:03,306 --> 00:49:05,183 No. Everything's okay? 670 00:49:05,266 --> 00:49:06,434 Check that air-conditioning. 671 00:49:10,939 --> 00:49:12,857 What'd you find out, Fletch? 672 00:49:12,941 --> 00:49:17,779 Cremated. I wouldn't be surprised if all the paperwork was burnt up with the body. 673 00:49:17,862 --> 00:49:19,822 The morgue proved to be a dead end. 674 00:49:19,864 --> 00:49:23,034 But I guess it is for most people. 675 00:49:23,117 --> 00:49:26,913 I had three questions. Why was I cleared in Amanda's death? 676 00:49:26,996 --> 00:49:30,375 Why, if she wasn't murdered, was the body so quickly destroyed? 677 00:49:30,458 --> 00:49:35,004 And finally, when it comes to stewed prunes, are three enough or are four too many? 678 00:49:35,088 --> 00:49:38,674 When I got back to Belle Isle, there was a cozy fire in the fireplace... 679 00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:41,260 and on the roof, on the walls and on the porch. 680 00:49:41,344 --> 00:49:43,721 It was great. 681 00:49:43,805 --> 00:49:45,723 Think maybe I should pack. 682 00:49:45,807 --> 00:49:48,184 Guess you'll be movin' in with me now. Thanks, Cal. 683 00:49:48,226 --> 00:49:51,687 Look at the bright side. You won't have to bother dusting anymore. Yes, sir! 684 00:49:57,985 --> 00:50:01,572 ** 685 00:50:01,656 --> 00:50:05,076 Here's your diet plate. 686 00:50:05,159 --> 00:50:08,162 Thank you, Miss Selma. Does everything around here come with the head still on it? 687 00:50:08,245 --> 00:50:12,708 - You bet, honey. - Glad I didn't order a hamburger. 688 00:50:12,792 --> 00:50:16,045 I'd say grace, but I don't wanna wake him up. 689 00:50:16,128 --> 00:50:18,422 Are you religious? 690 00:50:18,506 --> 00:50:22,093 I believe in a God that doesn't need heavy financing. 691 00:50:22,176 --> 00:50:24,595 How you doin', Mr. Barbour? How's it goin', Calculus? 692 00:50:24,678 --> 00:50:27,515 Fine, fine. This here's Mr. Fletcher. 693 00:50:27,598 --> 00:50:30,559 He's the new owner of Belle Isle, or whatever's left of it. 694 00:50:30,643 --> 00:50:33,437 Yeah, I heard about your fire. Sorry about that. 695 00:50:33,521 --> 00:50:37,942 You know, you've had your share of problems ever since you've been here. 696 00:50:38,025 --> 00:50:41,528 How about me and the boys showing you some real Southern hospitality? 697 00:50:41,612 --> 00:50:45,616 You ever been on a coon hunt? 698 00:50:45,699 --> 00:50:50,788 Now a coon hunt is like an English fox hunt, except we cut through all the bullshit, 699 00:50:50,871 --> 00:50:54,541 all the fancy clothes and music, all the beautiful women. 700 00:50:54,625 --> 00:50:57,753 We reduce the experience to its essence. 701 00:50:57,836 --> 00:51:00,464 Yeah, a bunch of sweaty drunks chasin' a scared animal. 702 00:51:00,547 --> 00:51:02,925 You're damn right.! 703 00:51:02,966 --> 00:51:06,178 What am I supposed to do? The dogs do most of the work. 704 00:51:06,261 --> 00:51:09,848 We just follow the dogs, they tree the coon, we get him down. 705 00:51:11,934 --> 00:51:14,019 This drug testing has gone too far. 706 00:51:14,102 --> 00:51:16,939 Take a jolt. Kick-a-poo joy juice? 707 00:51:17,022 --> 00:51:20,651 Oh, stronger than that! 708 00:51:20,734 --> 00:51:23,779 Whoo! Aren't you coming? 709 00:51:23,862 --> 00:51:27,366 Nah, it ain't safe for a black man to be chasin' around these woods at night... 710 00:51:27,449 --> 00:51:29,951 unless he be handcuffed to a white man. 711 00:51:30,035 --> 00:51:33,538 I'll see you back at... my "domiside. " You want some of this? 712 00:51:44,090 --> 00:51:46,551 You haven't lived till you've been on a coon hunt, 713 00:51:46,635 --> 00:51:49,512 and after that, you don't want to. 714 00:51:49,596 --> 00:51:52,349 But it gave me a chance to snoop around the neighborhood. 715 00:51:52,432 --> 00:51:56,978 The ministry seemed so hot for all this land. Why? 716 00:51:57,062 --> 00:52:00,148 Maybe theyjust wanted a remote spot to buryJim and Tammy. 717 00:52:00,231 --> 00:52:04,611 Where the hell are we? Actually, this is my place, or was. 718 00:52:04,694 --> 00:52:06,780 I ain't been on it since I sold the sucker. 719 00:52:06,863 --> 00:52:11,159 This is your property over here and that's Ham's mama's old place over there. 720 00:52:11,242 --> 00:52:13,286 Don't you think we oughta catch up with the boys? 721 00:52:13,369 --> 00:52:16,956 Damn right. There's a couple of'em I don't think I should leave alone with the dogs. 722 00:52:21,044 --> 00:52:24,422 Oh, wait up. 723 00:52:24,505 --> 00:52:27,926 Jesus! What happened to my flower garden? 724 00:52:28,009 --> 00:52:30,178 Everything's dead! 725 00:52:30,261 --> 00:52:34,182 Yo, Barbour.! Rags has got a water moccasin in his mouth. 726 00:52:34,223 --> 00:52:37,644 Hey, we in luck. You wanna jerk the head off a snake? 727 00:52:37,685 --> 00:52:39,645 Oh, no. I gave it up for Lent. 728 00:52:39,687 --> 00:52:43,649 I'm not gonna miss the fun. Hey, guys, wait up! 729 00:54:00,476 --> 00:54:03,729 I never liked guns, especially when they're pointed at me. 730 00:54:03,771 --> 00:54:08,192 And this night a couple of people were taking pot shots in my general direction. 731 00:54:08,275 --> 00:54:10,819 It was time to get outta there. 732 00:54:10,861 --> 00:54:12,988 11:27 to be exact. 733 00:54:19,870 --> 00:54:22,205 * Na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na ** 734 00:54:25,250 --> 00:54:27,169 I was heartbroken to miss the raccoon, 735 00:54:27,252 --> 00:54:32,007 but all I wanted was a good night's sleep so I headed for Cal's water bed. 736 00:54:32,132 --> 00:54:35,302 Welcome back. Jimmy Lee was on a roll tonight. 737 00:54:35,385 --> 00:54:39,848 Ten salvations. Big bucks. You catch a coon? 738 00:54:39,931 --> 00:54:43,018 I was shot at. Somebody's sure trying to scare me off. 739 00:54:43,101 --> 00:54:45,353 And they don't mind killing me to underline the threat. 740 00:54:45,395 --> 00:54:50,609 You were shot at? Yep. Now, who would do that? 741 00:54:50,650 --> 00:54:53,695 Damn shame. I'll go outside and see what's goin' on. 742 00:55:02,954 --> 00:55:05,498 What was it? I thought I saw somethin'. 743 00:55:05,582 --> 00:55:10,462 I just fired in the air to scare whatever it was. 744 00:55:19,929 --> 00:55:23,850 Didn't sleep well that night, and it wasn't the fault of the water bed. 745 00:55:23,975 --> 00:55:27,312 Something was rotten in this whole situation. 746 00:55:27,353 --> 00:55:29,355 Figuring out that the thug who dropped my watch... 747 00:55:29,439 --> 00:55:33,359 was the same guy who stole it at the morgue didn't take Sherlock Holmes. 748 00:55:33,443 --> 00:55:36,654 Larry Holmes could've figured that out. 749 00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:53,671 I wasn't sure who'd be taking the next shot at me, so I decided to work alone. 750 00:55:55,131 --> 00:55:57,300 Fletch, perfect timing. I've got just what you asked for. 751 00:55:57,341 --> 00:56:01,429 Frank, stop salivating. I'm sending you my Laker high-tops for lab analysis. 752 00:56:01,512 --> 00:56:05,224 He's behaving very strangely. He must be in trouble. 753 00:56:05,308 --> 00:56:08,019 Somebody must be holding a gun to his head. 754 00:56:08,102 --> 00:56:12,523 Fletch, if you need rescuing, just say, 755 00:56:12,565 --> 00:56:16,027 "I believe Louisiana is the Pelican State. " 756 00:56:16,110 --> 00:56:20,614 Okay, Frank. I believe Louisiana is the Pelican State... as a matter of fact. 757 00:56:20,698 --> 00:56:24,452 - What do you have on Farnsworth? - I've got everything you need. 758 00:56:24,535 --> 00:56:27,705 Jimmy Lee Farnsworth, former used-car salesman in Biloxi. 759 00:56:27,788 --> 00:56:32,460 In '77, he pleaded "no contest" to a charge of check kiting. 760 00:56:32,543 --> 00:56:37,590 '81, discovered by businessmen who helped him found the Farnsworth Television Ministry. 761 00:56:37,673 --> 00:56:40,926 Our sources indicate he may be a target of federal investigation. 762 00:56:40,968 --> 00:56:43,929 - Anything else? - Uh, two marriages. 763 00:56:44,013 --> 00:56:47,725 One daughter goes by wife's maiden name. Becky Culpepper. 764 00:56:50,227 --> 00:56:53,981 It was hard to believe that beautiful Becky was Farnsworth's daughter. 765 00:56:54,064 --> 00:56:55,983 But I wasn't gonna hold it against her. 766 00:56:56,066 --> 00:56:59,737 If I was gonna hold anything against her, it certainly wouldn't be her father. 767 00:57:18,630 --> 00:57:21,008 Fletch, I heard about the fire. I hope you're all right. 768 00:57:21,133 --> 00:57:23,010 I'm just fine. 769 00:57:23,135 --> 00:57:27,598 I was just lying in the embers of my house, trying to calm my nerves after being shot at. 770 00:57:27,681 --> 00:57:30,684 What? You were shot at? I was thinking what a good day to sell my property... 771 00:57:30,767 --> 00:57:33,478 and move back to Los Angeles. 772 00:57:33,562 --> 00:57:35,480 Is the buyer still interested? 773 00:57:36,565 --> 00:57:38,608 No, I'm afraid he withdrew. 774 00:57:38,692 --> 00:57:41,194 I still have five minutes on the meter. Let's talk in your office. 775 00:57:41,278 --> 00:57:46,742 Now, why don't you tell me who your client is? 776 00:57:46,825 --> 00:57:49,369 Is it the Farnsworth Ministry? 777 00:57:49,411 --> 00:57:52,747 Why would you say that? And who is shooting at you? 778 00:57:52,831 --> 00:57:54,833 Maybe the Reverend Farnsworth. 779 00:57:54,916 --> 00:57:58,545 Look, Jimmy Lee Farnsworth may be a lot of things, 780 00:57:58,587 --> 00:58:00,630 but he's not a murderer. 781 00:58:00,714 --> 00:58:02,591 You're right, he is many things. 782 00:58:02,674 --> 00:58:08,054 A former used-car salesman, a confessed embezzler, your father, good square dancer. 783 00:58:10,724 --> 00:58:13,852 That's right, he is my father. 784 00:58:13,935 --> 00:58:15,854 But I'm also telling you the truth. 785 00:58:15,937 --> 00:58:20,817 Becky, somebody wants my land bad enough to kill me for it. 786 00:58:20,900 --> 00:58:25,280 Now, if you don't tell me who your client is, I'm gonna find out some other way. 787 00:58:25,697 --> 00:58:28,867 It is guest healer's night with Jimmy Lee on this... 788 00:58:28,950 --> 00:58:33,621 the 4,323rd edition of our show with tonight's special guests... 789 00:58:33,656 --> 00:58:35,999 people with the healing gift. 790 00:58:36,082 --> 00:58:40,670 Excuse me. May I have your name? I'm Claude Henry... 791 00:58:40,712 --> 00:58:44,132 Claude Henry... Claude Henry. 792 00:58:44,215 --> 00:58:46,175 Claude... Claude or Clod is good. Henry. 793 00:58:46,259 --> 00:58:48,177 Henry. Smmoot. 794 00:58:48,261 --> 00:58:52,849 Henry. Smmoot. S-M-M-O-T-T. I'm sorry. Two "O's," one "T." 795 00:58:52,890 --> 00:58:55,852 I'm a guest healer. Smmoot, a guest healer. 796 00:58:55,893 --> 00:58:57,478 Yes. Healed. God bless you. 797 00:58:57,562 --> 00:58:59,480 With Mimsy Carlyle. 798 00:58:59,564 --> 00:59:03,401 Wait here. The heavenly feet... 799 00:59:03,484 --> 00:59:05,987 of Damon Feather. 800 00:59:06,070 --> 00:59:09,740 God's simian favorite, Mr. Coco. 801 00:59:09,824 --> 00:59:15,037 The guest healers who have volunteered for tonight's show will followJimmy Lee. 802 00:59:19,959 --> 00:59:22,837 And now the founder of our show, 803 00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:26,465 your friend, Mr. Good News himself, 804 00:59:26,507 --> 00:59:29,427 Jimmy Lee Farnsworth.! 805 00:59:47,319 --> 00:59:49,446 You know, 806 00:59:49,530 --> 00:59:54,535 I have a feeling that there's someone out there amongst us who needs to step forward. 807 00:59:54,618 --> 00:59:58,163 Gordon JoeJames. 808 00:59:58,247 --> 01:00:02,543 Gordon JoeJames. Who are you? 809 01:00:02,626 --> 01:00:06,296 Gordon Joe lost a limb to a pit bull. 810 01:00:06,380 --> 01:00:09,258 Gordon Joe, will you please stand and raise your right hand? 811 01:00:09,341 --> 01:00:12,469 Left hand. Excuse me, left hand. 812 01:00:12,553 --> 01:00:15,514 There you are.! 813 01:00:22,271 --> 01:00:25,566 Bibleland Two. Jimmy Lee's dream. 814 01:00:25,649 --> 01:00:28,986 He was like some deranged Walt Disney. 815 01:00:29,069 --> 01:00:31,738 It was all in front of me. Ham Johnson's place. 816 01:00:31,822 --> 01:00:33,907 His mother's bequest. 817 01:00:33,991 --> 01:00:35,867 Belle Isle. 818 01:00:35,909 --> 01:00:40,497 The numbers on the boxes were certainly not zip codes. Maybe computer codes. 819 01:00:40,539 --> 01:00:45,335 All I needed now was a computer, and a ten-year-old kid to teach me how to use it. 820 01:00:45,419 --> 01:00:48,839 * Cash or check * 821 01:00:48,922 --> 01:00:50,966 * Or MasterCard * 822 01:00:51,049 --> 01:00:54,636 *MasterCard ** 823 01:00:54,719 --> 01:00:56,721 Bobby Ralph? 824 01:00:56,805 --> 01:00:59,724 Peter Lemongello. Your house is on fire. 825 01:00:59,766 --> 01:01:03,061 What? They told me to tell you, your house is on fire. 826 01:01:03,144 --> 01:01:05,230 I'll take over. God bless you! 827 01:01:05,313 --> 01:01:08,567 God bless you for believing this shit. 828 01:01:18,076 --> 01:01:21,663 There was a new element I hadn't anticipated: A second suspect. 829 01:01:21,746 --> 01:01:26,084 Becky's client was not the ministry, but some secret entity called Everest Development. 830 01:01:26,167 --> 01:01:28,044 She never knew who they were. 831 01:01:28,086 --> 01:01:31,923 Becky was a good girl, and wouldn't have to be spanked. Damn it. 832 01:01:32,966 --> 01:01:36,010 Who's gonna be the next one to get the call? 833 01:01:36,094 --> 01:01:38,513 Who's gonna be the next one saved? 834 01:01:41,808 --> 01:01:44,394 - Who's going to be... - T'Boo Ted Marshall. 835 01:01:44,477 --> 01:01:49,524 T'Boo Ted Marshall, are you with us tonight? 836 01:01:49,607 --> 01:01:53,444 Yes, indeed, Reverend.! But how can God help my problem? 837 01:01:53,486 --> 01:01:57,907 T'Boo Ted is a... Compulsive gambler. 838 01:01:57,949 --> 01:02:03,329 T'Boo Ted, the first you gotta do is expose that problem! 839 01:02:04,580 --> 01:02:06,499 Excuse me? 840 01:02:06,582 --> 01:02:10,294 If you can't expose that problem, at least to your family, 841 01:02:10,378 --> 01:02:15,258 it grows and grows, and becomes an even bigger problem.! 842 01:02:15,383 --> 01:02:16,926 That's true! 843 01:02:16,968 --> 01:02:20,054 He's been a compulsive gambler for 20 years. 844 01:02:20,137 --> 01:02:23,891 Because you've had this affliction for more than 20 years, 845 01:02:23,933 --> 01:02:28,354 I think you should expose that problem to us... 846 01:02:28,437 --> 01:02:31,023 right here... tonight. 847 01:02:31,065 --> 01:02:35,027 I want you to do it. The good Lord wants you to do it! 848 01:02:35,111 --> 01:02:38,572 - You really think so? - I know so! 849 01:02:39,865 --> 01:02:41,867 Do it. Do it now! 850 01:02:46,956 --> 01:02:49,834 Well, if you say so. 851 01:02:52,962 --> 01:02:55,506 Oh, God, put your pants back on.! 852 01:02:55,589 --> 01:02:59,176 Coming right back to introduce our guest healers. 853 01:02:59,218 --> 01:03:02,888 Let's welcome all of them beginning with Claude Henry Smmoot. 854 01:03:04,473 --> 01:03:06,558 Come on out, Claude! 855 01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:08,560 Here we are. I have a headache. 856 01:03:08,602 --> 01:03:10,604 No, Claude, this way. 857 01:03:13,857 --> 01:03:17,361 You're gonna do just fine. Now, get out there. Go on. 858 01:03:19,947 --> 01:03:23,117 I said, get out there now! 859 01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:26,829 Here he is! Make him welcome, folks! 860 01:03:26,870 --> 01:03:29,373 Welcome, Claude Henry. 861 01:03:29,456 --> 01:03:31,625 When was the very first time, 862 01:03:31,750 --> 01:03:36,463 the very first moment that made the difference in your life? 863 01:03:37,589 --> 01:03:40,634 Well, Jimmy Lee, I was... I was, uh, 864 01:03:40,717 --> 01:03:45,097 on my gazebo, on the roof making some repairs, 865 01:03:45,132 --> 01:03:48,558 and I was struck by lightning. 866 01:03:48,642 --> 01:03:52,771 I have had acute migraine headaches and blurred vision since then. 867 01:03:52,854 --> 01:03:55,440 But praise the Lord, that was my lucky day because... 868 01:03:55,524 --> 01:03:58,443 ever since then I have had the healing power. 869 01:03:58,527 --> 01:04:01,696 Amen. God bless you. Thank you very much. Good night. Thank you. 870 01:04:01,738 --> 01:04:04,825 Claude Henry. Good night. What? What happened? Yes? 871 01:04:04,908 --> 01:04:07,369 Before you heal another, 872 01:04:07,410 --> 01:04:10,747 would you like for me to attempt to heal your own affliction? 873 01:04:10,830 --> 01:04:14,709 No, no! No, no. No, those of us with perfect faith... 874 01:04:14,751 --> 01:04:17,295 have no need of perfect vision. 875 01:04:17,379 --> 01:04:19,631 We have no need of wisdom. 876 01:04:19,714 --> 01:04:23,551 We have no need of anything except the creature comforts and lots of them. 877 01:04:23,677 --> 01:04:27,847 Hallelujah.! Amen.! God bless you. Amen. Thank you. Hallelujah. 878 01:04:27,931 --> 01:04:32,519 Ladies and gentlemen, he sees more than he doth know. 879 01:04:32,602 --> 01:04:34,771 - Yes, I do. Amen! 880 01:04:34,854 --> 01:04:38,274 Claude Henry has the gift.! 881 01:04:38,358 --> 01:04:42,779 Would you use that gift, Claude Henry? Would you use it now? 882 01:04:46,783 --> 01:04:48,910 I guess I could. 883 01:04:48,952 --> 01:04:51,079 Praise be. 884 01:04:51,204 --> 01:04:55,708 Reverend, I sense that in our audience... 885 01:04:55,792 --> 01:04:59,671 there is a gentleman by the name ofJim Bob. 886 01:04:59,754 --> 01:05:02,840 Jim Bob, would you stand up? Would you rise, please? 887 01:05:04,717 --> 01:05:07,720 Sixteen, 17... 888 01:05:07,804 --> 01:05:12,266 I sense thatJim Bob is a young man. 889 01:05:12,308 --> 01:05:17,522 That he is between the ages of 25, 27. 890 01:05:19,941 --> 01:05:22,568 That's more like it. 891 01:05:22,652 --> 01:05:26,197 I feel the Lord is telling me thatJim Bob suffers from the same... 892 01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:31,827 Satanized affliction that I suffer from: Migraine headaches. 893 01:05:31,953 --> 01:05:34,163 Don't you, Jim Bob? Is that you? 894 01:05:34,246 --> 01:05:36,540 Come on down, Jim Bob.! 895 01:05:36,624 --> 01:05:39,877 Praise be.! Hallelujah.! Amen.! 896 01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:42,421 Praise the Lord! Be saved! 897 01:05:42,505 --> 01:05:44,924 Jim Bob, welcome. God bless you. 898 01:05:44,965 --> 01:05:48,677 Jim Bob, how long have you had these headaches? 899 01:05:48,761 --> 01:05:53,098 About five, 10 minutes. God... help him! 900 01:05:54,767 --> 01:05:57,895 - And how do you feel now? - It's a throbbing... 901 01:05:57,978 --> 01:06:01,232 God bless you. A throbbing headache comes up through your heels, 902 01:06:01,315 --> 01:06:04,735 up through the hip bone, the knee bone, up the spine, up through your back, 903 01:06:04,818 --> 01:06:07,029 through your head like Satan was belching through you? 904 01:06:07,112 --> 01:06:09,406 - Is that it? - Exactly. 905 01:06:09,490 --> 01:06:11,325 - Do you believe? - I believe. 906 01:06:11,408 --> 01:06:16,872 He believes! Hallelujah! Amen! God bless. Amen. 907 01:06:16,955 --> 01:06:20,084 Hallelujah. 908 01:06:22,336 --> 01:06:27,174 Rid this man of these headache demons, of these migraine demons. 909 01:06:27,216 --> 01:06:29,760 Heal this man! 910 01:06:29,843 --> 01:06:34,014 Amen! 911 01:06:34,056 --> 01:06:37,476 Hallelujah! Oh, good golly, Miss Molly! 912 01:06:37,559 --> 01:06:40,145 How do you feel, son? My headache is gone, but... 913 01:06:40,229 --> 01:06:42,648 God bless him! Is there anything else I can do for you? 914 01:06:42,731 --> 01:06:46,860 No! No. Good! God bless you. Praise be. 915 01:06:46,944 --> 01:06:51,657 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much. Ouch! 916 01:06:53,367 --> 01:06:55,577 I am worn to the bone. 917 01:06:55,619 --> 01:06:58,246 Thank you very much for gracing us with your presence. 918 01:06:58,330 --> 01:07:00,624 Good night. Praise be! 919 01:07:04,795 --> 01:07:07,339 Maybe I was wrong about Farnsworth. 920 01:07:07,380 --> 01:07:10,383 There was a new player in the game: Becky's unknown client. 921 01:07:10,425 --> 01:07:13,428 I had to find out more, and the only way was to get into her pants... 922 01:07:13,512 --> 01:07:18,433 I mean, her car. At least it had brakes. Her car, that is. 923 01:07:18,516 --> 01:07:21,478 Fletch, what are you doing? 924 01:07:21,561 --> 01:07:24,147 The guy who works in there stole my watch. 925 01:07:24,230 --> 01:07:28,276 He dropped it while he was trying to kill me. I'd just as soon he not recognize me. 926 01:07:28,318 --> 01:07:32,530 I'd like to keep an eye on him. Maybe he'll lead us to his boss. 927 01:07:32,572 --> 01:07:34,908 How long are we gonna be here? 928 01:07:34,991 --> 01:07:36,910 Bored? 929 01:07:36,993 --> 01:07:39,537 Oh, no! This is exciting! 930 01:07:50,173 --> 01:07:52,091 Fletch? What? 931 01:07:52,175 --> 01:07:54,761 I have to pee. 932 01:07:54,844 --> 01:07:57,513 The same thing used to happen whenever I'd play hide-and-seek. 933 01:07:57,597 --> 01:08:01,100 I always got caught. You think the morgue has a ladies' room? 934 01:08:01,184 --> 01:08:03,436 Hey. 935 01:08:13,571 --> 01:08:17,658 Not so close. Try to get a little distance between you. 936 01:08:53,527 --> 01:08:57,907 I'm gonna have to play it pretty tough in there. Still have to pee? 937 01:08:57,990 --> 01:09:01,744 I gather the rain isn't helping a lot. 938 01:09:01,827 --> 01:09:04,747 - There's always the bushes. - I'll be okay. 939 01:09:07,499 --> 01:09:10,502 If I'm not back in five minutes, call your dad. 940 01:09:24,808 --> 01:09:28,437 ** 941 01:09:36,153 --> 01:09:38,989 Could I have a soda, please? 942 01:09:39,031 --> 01:09:41,408 Diet Pepsi or a Tab would be good. 943 01:09:48,707 --> 01:09:53,587 - Hey, pussy. - Name's Ed. Ed Harley. 944 01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:57,424 Are you sure you're in the right place? 945 01:09:57,507 --> 01:09:59,968 I think so. 946 01:10:00,052 --> 01:10:02,095 "Think so"! 947 01:10:04,306 --> 01:10:07,559 Ed, what are you doin' here? 948 01:10:07,642 --> 01:10:10,270 I'll give you a hint. 949 01:10:10,353 --> 01:10:13,773 Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Hmm? 950 01:10:16,151 --> 01:10:18,904 You don't get it? 951 01:10:19,029 --> 01:10:21,990 You're the one that doesn't get it. 952 01:10:22,032 --> 01:10:25,952 Ed Harley. Harley-Davidson Motorcycles. 953 01:10:28,288 --> 01:10:30,373 You own the company? 954 01:10:30,415 --> 01:10:35,086 Well, my granddaddy started it. Then my daddy screwed Davidson out of his half. 955 01:10:35,170 --> 01:10:37,922 Now I own the whole thing. 956 01:10:38,006 --> 01:10:40,967 - Harley-Davidson? No shit? - No shit. 957 01:10:41,009 --> 01:10:44,137 Hey, y'all, Ed Harley of Harley-Davidson! 958 01:10:44,220 --> 01:10:46,222 We're the Nazis from Natchez! 959 01:10:51,352 --> 01:10:55,315 ** 960 01:11:11,456 --> 01:11:13,791 Who're you callin', babe? 961 01:11:19,213 --> 01:11:22,633 Knock it off! Yo, boss, look who's here! 962 01:11:22,675 --> 01:11:26,345 Harley-Davidson. Yo, Ed, come over here and meet the boss. 963 01:11:26,429 --> 01:11:31,017 Hi. Ed Harley, the Third. Harley-Davidson Motorcycles. 964 01:11:31,100 --> 01:11:36,480 If you need any T-shirts or decals, I can make arrangements for you. 965 01:11:36,564 --> 01:11:38,441 I just can't wait. 966 01:11:38,482 --> 01:11:41,861 - What model do you ride? - '78 XL. 967 01:11:41,944 --> 01:11:46,907 '78 XL? That's a legend! It's not blue, is it? 968 01:11:46,991 --> 01:11:50,202 - You in luck, white boy. Come on. - Oh! 969 01:11:52,121 --> 01:11:57,251 There she is. Ain't she beautiful? Original blue! 970 01:11:57,334 --> 01:12:01,714 Oh, she is a beaut. Gee, golly, I'd love to ride this '78 XL. 971 01:12:01,797 --> 01:12:04,592 Nobody... 972 01:12:04,633 --> 01:12:06,760 touches my Hog. 973 01:12:06,802 --> 01:12:10,890 - Sorry. - If you wanna ride that low-rider, that's all right. 974 01:12:10,973 --> 01:12:13,934 Hell, we'll all ride. Fire 'em up! 975 01:12:14,018 --> 01:12:16,186 Do you mind if... Darleen. 976 01:12:16,270 --> 01:12:19,690 - If Darleen rides with me? - Feeling a little horny, Ed? 977 01:12:19,773 --> 01:12:24,820 Yeah. You know, my life isn't all hubs and gears. 978 01:12:29,283 --> 01:12:31,702 Take it easy. 979 01:12:40,752 --> 01:12:42,963 *All right now * 980 01:12:45,716 --> 01:12:49,553 *Hey, hey We're gonna go out tonight * 981 01:12:49,636 --> 01:12:52,639 Little murky in the oxydol. 982 01:12:52,681 --> 01:12:55,100 We're gonna flush that out, suck it, streamline it. 983 01:12:55,183 --> 01:12:59,187 Hey, your mustache looks funny. 984 01:12:59,271 --> 01:13:02,482 Oh, boy. 985 01:13:02,524 --> 01:13:04,609 Hey, look at that! Came off. 986 01:13:06,695 --> 01:13:09,197 * One for the money Two for the show * 987 01:13:09,239 --> 01:13:12,492 * Gotta go, let's go Hey, hey * 988 01:13:12,534 --> 01:13:15,454 * Gonna go out tonight * 989 01:13:15,537 --> 01:13:17,664 * Gonna have some fun * 990 01:13:17,706 --> 01:13:20,500 *Everything will be all right ** 991 01:13:32,512 --> 01:13:37,767 What're we gonna do? Something that will seem extremely stupid at first. 992 01:14:00,373 --> 01:14:02,625 Oh, my God! 993 01:14:08,506 --> 01:14:13,261 Yee-ha! 994 01:14:19,434 --> 01:14:21,310 Home! 995 01:14:21,436 --> 01:14:24,355 Oh, my God! I'm a mess. 996 01:14:24,439 --> 01:14:27,650 You want some coffee? Sure. 997 01:14:27,734 --> 01:14:30,069 I look like a raccoon. 998 01:14:30,111 --> 01:14:34,740 I gotta get to work, although I don't know why. All I do is sit with nothing to do. 999 01:14:34,782 --> 01:14:38,911 The only work I've had in the last three months has been with Everest Realty. 1000 01:14:38,953 --> 01:14:40,913 And look what that's gotten me. Can I use your phone? 1001 01:14:40,955 --> 01:14:43,875 Sure, go ahead. 1002 01:14:43,958 --> 01:14:47,420 That's toxic waste on the soles. What have you been doing? 1003 01:14:47,461 --> 01:14:49,755 Jogging in the Love Canal. What do you mean "toxic waste"? 1004 01:14:49,880 --> 01:14:54,802 - It's special. There's only 11 places that make this shit. - Where? 1005 01:14:59,390 --> 01:15:02,309 Frank, just give me the ones that aren't in New Jersey. 1006 01:15:02,393 --> 01:15:05,271 Ah, there's only one. Yazoo, Mississippi. 1007 01:15:05,312 --> 01:15:07,773 Bingo. 1008 01:15:13,654 --> 01:15:16,699 I wanna thank you for everything you've done. 1009 01:15:16,782 --> 01:15:20,119 I'm sorry I caused such a mess. 1010 01:15:20,160 --> 01:15:24,123 Can I ask you a personal question? Mm-hmm. 1011 01:15:24,206 --> 01:15:27,960 Did you finally get to pee? 1012 01:15:28,002 --> 01:15:31,005 Yes. 1013 01:15:31,088 --> 01:15:33,215 Good. 1014 01:15:40,305 --> 01:15:43,392 You better get cleaned up. 1015 01:15:44,935 --> 01:15:47,938 Yeah. Particularly my mind. 1016 01:15:57,281 --> 01:16:00,075 Where's the shampoo? I'll get you some. 1017 01:16:05,789 --> 01:16:08,000 Here. You'll need a clean towel too. 1018 01:16:08,041 --> 01:16:10,836 No, yours will be fine. Fletch! 1019 01:16:13,171 --> 01:16:16,883 You're right. This is too wet. 1020 01:16:16,967 --> 01:16:20,303 You know how to get to Yazoo? 1021 01:16:20,345 --> 01:16:23,098 Well, you're in the right vicinity. 1022 01:16:23,181 --> 01:16:27,018 The church seemed less and less culpable. 1023 01:16:27,102 --> 01:16:31,898 Why would they want toxic waste next to their land? Why would anybody? 1024 01:16:31,982 --> 01:16:36,570 Why are there four S's in Mississippi? Four I's and only two P's... 1025 01:16:36,653 --> 01:16:39,573 and one "M" as far as I know? 1026 01:16:44,536 --> 01:16:49,708 Bly Bio Chem was the biggest chemical plant in Mississippi. 1027 01:16:49,791 --> 01:16:52,627 My Laker shoes were ruined by toxic waste produced there. 1028 01:16:52,711 --> 01:16:55,588 They probably knew who delivered it to my backyard. 1029 01:16:55,672 --> 01:16:59,217 Now the lead-lined containers painted with innocent bluebirds... 1030 01:16:59,300 --> 01:17:01,594 added a crucial piece to the puzzle... 1031 01:17:01,678 --> 01:17:04,013 that had begun way back in Amanda Ross's pants... 1032 01:17:04,055 --> 01:17:07,141 I mean, bedroom. 1033 01:17:07,225 --> 01:17:09,269 This is a secure area. 1034 01:17:09,394 --> 01:17:14,023 I'm very happy for you. Most people live in terrible neighborhoods. 1035 01:17:14,065 --> 01:17:18,111 Are you the head honcho? That's right, sir. Headly Dan Duke. 1036 01:17:18,194 --> 01:17:20,196 And what seems to be your problem? 1037 01:17:20,238 --> 01:17:24,158 I agreed to take a shit load of that Bluebird crap off your hands. 1038 01:17:24,242 --> 01:17:28,371 And it ain't come yet. I'm very sorry, sir. And you are? 1039 01:17:28,413 --> 01:17:30,164 I are pissed! 1040 01:17:30,248 --> 01:17:33,418 Some damn fool told me it was on back order, and I'd have to wait. 1041 01:17:33,501 --> 01:17:35,461 Whose signature is this? Who signed that? I can't... 1042 01:17:35,545 --> 01:17:39,090 That's the trouble! It's typical of a large corporation. 1043 01:17:39,173 --> 01:17:42,510 Lack of communication. That's why I like to keep Everest small. 1044 01:17:42,593 --> 01:17:45,930 Oh, you're from Everest! Now you're talkin'! 1045 01:17:45,972 --> 01:17:50,268 Elmer Gantry. Elmer Fudd Gantry. I'm not sure there's anything I can do. 1046 01:17:50,351 --> 01:17:54,021 You could pull my file instead of standing there pulling your pud! 1047 01:17:54,105 --> 01:17:57,108 Whatever you say, sir. 1048 01:17:57,233 --> 01:17:59,652 Bring me the Everest file. 1049 01:17:59,735 --> 01:18:02,196 Yes, sir. 1050 01:18:04,448 --> 01:18:06,951 Mr. Gantry? 1051 01:18:08,619 --> 01:18:12,998 I apologize for my bellicosity. I've had a hernia operation. 1052 01:18:13,082 --> 01:18:15,292 Is that the stuff I'm supposed to get? 1053 01:18:15,376 --> 01:18:18,879 Yes, sir. Why are they wearing those funny suits? 1054 01:18:18,963 --> 01:18:22,925 They're protective, as you know. That's a very corrosive by-product they're handling. 1055 01:18:22,967 --> 01:18:25,010 Oh, yeah. I guess if they didn't wear those suits, 1056 01:18:25,094 --> 01:18:30,641 those boys would be so full of holes, they'd whistle when they walked. 1057 01:18:30,724 --> 01:18:34,478 I've been spitting up blood, pissing blood, bleeding. 1058 01:18:34,561 --> 01:18:37,898 I go through five of these suits a day. 1059 01:18:37,982 --> 01:18:41,026 It appears you have your facts wrong, Mr. Gantry. 1060 01:18:41,110 --> 01:18:43,529 Your company is supposed to get 1500 gallons. 1061 01:18:43,612 --> 01:18:46,824 Destination someplace called Belle Isle in Louisiana. 1062 01:18:46,907 --> 01:18:50,369 Signed for by an officer of your company and due the 23rd. 1063 01:18:50,452 --> 01:18:54,123 So... we're right, and you're wrong. 1064 01:18:54,206 --> 01:18:57,167 Let me see that. 1065 01:18:57,251 --> 01:19:01,255 Takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. I am not a big man. 1066 01:19:08,637 --> 01:19:11,640 We're late again, because you had to stay late at thejail. 1067 01:19:11,682 --> 01:19:13,642 Hurry up. Just get out. 1068 01:19:21,358 --> 01:19:24,319 Are you all right? 1069 01:19:24,361 --> 01:19:29,623 You're wrecking my present. My fault? 1070 01:19:29,658 --> 01:19:32,452 Wash and gas it. Check the brake fluid, will ya? 1071 01:19:35,413 --> 01:19:37,791 My friends, ladies and gentlemen. 1072 01:19:37,832 --> 01:19:43,171 With all the fun we've been having, I hope we don't forget our real purpose here tonight... 1073 01:19:43,213 --> 01:19:47,217 to preserve the legacy that nature has given us. 1074 01:19:47,300 --> 01:19:50,011 We are mere custodians of... 1075 01:19:50,095 --> 01:19:53,139 Bob Lee. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee. 1076 01:19:53,181 --> 01:19:57,435 Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee Schwartz. 1077 01:19:57,519 --> 01:20:01,523 Schwartz. Schwartz, the Second. 1078 01:20:25,171 --> 01:20:28,800 Fletch! What you doin' here? 1079 01:20:28,883 --> 01:20:34,263 - What are you doin' here? - You know me. I ain't happy unless I'm working. 1080 01:20:34,305 --> 01:20:39,268 Why, Fletch, I'm surprised to see you here, sir. Welcome, sir, welcome. 1081 01:20:39,352 --> 01:20:42,271 My pleasure, my pleasure. Thank you for not inviting me. 1082 01:20:42,355 --> 01:20:44,565 Oh! 1083 01:20:46,734 --> 01:20:49,111 I do believe we have something to discuss. 1084 01:20:49,195 --> 01:20:54,408 Oh. Well, might I suggest we repair ourselves to a quieter place. 1085 01:20:54,450 --> 01:20:56,827 Let us remove ourselves, shall we? 1086 01:20:56,911 --> 01:21:00,623 Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou. 1087 01:21:06,170 --> 01:21:08,589 My mama's room. 1088 01:21:09,965 --> 01:21:13,761 I've kept it just the way it was when she died. 1089 01:21:15,179 --> 01:21:17,765 Her ashes? 1090 01:21:17,890 --> 01:21:21,560 She used to say, "We come from the earth and we return to the earth, 1091 01:21:21,602 --> 01:21:24,146 and in between, we garden. " 1092 01:21:24,230 --> 01:21:27,358 A little gardening, 1093 01:21:27,441 --> 01:21:30,236 a little polluting. 1094 01:21:34,949 --> 01:21:37,201 They spelled my name wrong. 1095 01:21:39,286 --> 01:21:41,413 My gun's made of rubber. How 'bout yours? 1096 01:21:42,748 --> 01:21:46,669 No. I see your point. 1097 01:21:46,752 --> 01:21:49,129 Wouldn't do for your conservationists guests to hear about... 1098 01:21:49,213 --> 01:21:51,882 that load of toxic waste heading for my land at Belle Isle. 1099 01:21:51,965 --> 01:21:56,095 My land... at Belle Isle, Fletch. 1100 01:21:56,136 --> 01:22:00,349 After you die, who's gonna prove that you did not sell your land to Everest? 1101 01:22:00,432 --> 01:22:03,143 You may have this town in your back pocket, Johnson, 1102 01:22:03,185 --> 01:22:06,146 but there are a lot of people downstairs who are gonna be very interested... 1103 01:22:06,230 --> 01:22:09,691 in the hows and whys of Amanda Ray's death. 1104 01:22:09,816 --> 01:22:11,818 She knew about Bluebird. 1105 01:22:11,902 --> 01:22:14,696 She started a file on you, and you found out about it. 1106 01:22:14,780 --> 01:22:20,077 That was my lucky night. The night I found the Bluebird file, the night you porked her. 1107 01:22:20,118 --> 01:22:24,581 I figured it was like an alligator shoot on the freeway, if you'll excuse the metaphor. 1108 01:22:24,664 --> 01:22:28,377 - It's not a metaphor. It's a simile, to be precise. - Whatever. 1109 01:22:28,460 --> 01:22:34,299 So you poisoned Amanda, figuring I'd sell and get out if I was facing a murder charge. 1110 01:22:34,341 --> 01:22:37,969 - I don't scare easy. I'm too dumb. - So it would seem. 1111 01:22:38,011 --> 01:22:42,098 Now get out of my mama's chair before I put the first bullet up your nose. 1112 01:22:42,182 --> 01:22:44,518 Are you kidding? 1113 01:22:44,559 --> 01:22:47,312 You pull that trigger and 100 people will be up here in a second. 1114 01:22:47,354 --> 01:22:50,315 My dear boy, why would I do my own dirty work? 1115 01:22:51,816 --> 01:22:55,070 Those hundred do-gooders down there dressed in rebel crap... 1116 01:22:55,153 --> 01:22:57,572 will be my alibi. 1117 01:22:58,865 --> 01:23:01,701 Now get outta my mama's chair! 1118 01:23:01,785 --> 01:23:05,372 I synchronized my beloved Laker watch with Miss Culpepper's Timex. 1119 01:23:05,455 --> 01:23:08,708 If I don'tjoin her at the ministry in 10 minutes, the whole ugly story... 1120 01:23:08,750 --> 01:23:11,586 goes out on the Farnsworth Network. 1121 01:23:11,669 --> 01:23:13,755 Of course, it's cable, but... 1122 01:23:13,838 --> 01:23:16,216 - You're bluffing, Fletch. - No, I'm not. 1123 01:23:16,299 --> 01:23:19,219 You think you're not... but you are. 1124 01:23:20,887 --> 01:23:23,306 Swell. 1125 01:23:24,849 --> 01:23:29,729 - Did he hurt you? - Not yet. That comes later. 1126 01:23:29,771 --> 01:23:31,731 Sorry, Becky. 1127 01:23:31,814 --> 01:23:36,819 The band won't take a break for some time, so screaming would be futile. 1128 01:23:36,903 --> 01:23:39,864 Mr. Fletch's convenient appearance has allowed us... 1129 01:23:39,906 --> 01:23:45,286 to move up our plans for your demise to coincide with his. 1130 01:23:45,328 --> 01:23:50,166 Now I'm goin' downstairs to be the gracious host. 1131 01:23:50,249 --> 01:23:54,003 Do what you have to do. 1132 01:23:54,086 --> 01:23:57,215 - The bride of Frankenstein. - Put my mama down! 1133 01:23:57,256 --> 01:23:59,258 Oh! I'm sorry. 1134 01:23:59,342 --> 01:24:01,719 Oh, how clumsy of me. 1135 01:24:01,844 --> 01:24:05,598 Oops! I'm sorry. I stepped right on her mustache. 1136 01:24:05,640 --> 01:24:08,976 Get away! Get away! 1137 01:24:09,060 --> 01:24:11,896 - Sorry. I was just trying to help. - It's all right, Mama. 1138 01:24:12,021 --> 01:24:14,273 You should be more careful where you put your breakables. 1139 01:24:14,357 --> 01:24:16,776 I've been careful all my life. 1140 01:24:16,859 --> 01:24:19,028 When she was sick, I was careful. 1141 01:24:19,111 --> 01:24:23,449 Then that goddamn Jimmy Lee's ministry... taking everything she had. 1142 01:24:23,532 --> 01:24:26,619 Bloodsuckers! 1143 01:24:26,702 --> 01:24:30,456 It's gonna be all right, Mama. And when we're far, far away... 1144 01:24:30,539 --> 01:24:32,583 from this godforsaken chemical swamp, 1145 01:24:32,666 --> 01:24:37,463 we're gonna sit back and watch 'em all just decompose. 1146 01:24:37,546 --> 01:24:41,550 That should be good for Bibleland's business, all their customers glowing in the dark. 1147 01:24:41,634 --> 01:24:44,595 I hope they all fry in hell! 1148 01:24:44,637 --> 01:24:47,973 - You bloodsucking bastards! - Isn't this interesting? 1149 01:24:48,057 --> 01:24:50,017 - Put that down. - She really is in there. 1150 01:24:50,100 --> 01:24:52,770 - Put that down. - She seems to have lost a little weight. 1151 01:24:52,811 --> 01:24:56,023 I thought you had her stuffed and mounted. Here she is. Head's up! 1152 01:24:56,106 --> 01:24:57,941 Ohh! Ohh! Becky! 1153 01:25:09,286 --> 01:25:13,665 Swine... Darryl, are you having a good time? 1154 01:25:57,876 --> 01:26:01,254 Welcome to great Noah's Ark... 1155 01:26:01,296 --> 01:26:05,133 where we have a flood every 10 minutes. 1156 01:26:07,052 --> 01:26:08,928 In the... 1157 01:26:16,811 --> 01:26:18,480 No! This way. 1158 01:26:18,521 --> 01:26:20,565 Join our pyramid of prayer. 1159 01:26:20,648 --> 01:26:23,151 For only $12, 1160 01:26:23,193 --> 01:26:27,155 you begin your exciting journey up the pyramid. 1161 01:26:27,197 --> 01:26:29,157 And when you reach the top, 1162 01:26:29,199 --> 01:26:35,288 you're gonna be the target of 20,000 prayers! 1163 01:26:35,371 --> 01:26:40,168 A lady in Fargo, North Dakota broke the chain and began a five-day fit of sneezing... 1164 01:26:40,209 --> 01:26:42,420 that ended in her death. Daddy? 1165 01:26:42,503 --> 01:26:48,176 Well, Mr. Fletcher, what a pleasant surprise. And, Becky, what are you... 1166 01:26:48,217 --> 01:26:52,472 Look who's here! Hamilton Johnson! Friend of the community. 1167 01:26:52,555 --> 01:26:56,017 Ham, you look like you've worked up quite a sweat. 1168 01:26:56,058 --> 01:26:58,519 Maybe you should dry your hair first. Do you want a towel? 1169 01:26:58,561 --> 01:27:01,898 Uh-oh, he's got a gun. 1170 01:27:02,023 --> 01:27:07,028 Show your lovely face on national television. Let 'em see that greedy glint in your eye. 1171 01:27:07,111 --> 01:27:09,030 Let 'em hear that bullshit chuckle, Ham. 1172 01:27:09,071 --> 01:27:11,115 Who's gonna save you now, Fletch? 1173 01:27:11,240 --> 01:27:14,243 You'll have to shoot through me, you son of a bitch! 1174 01:27:14,285 --> 01:27:17,705 He's not gonna shoot anybody. Are you, Ham? You're on television now. 1175 01:27:17,747 --> 01:27:20,124 You haven't got the guts. 1176 01:27:20,207 --> 01:27:22,918 - My mistake. - Freeze! 1177 01:27:23,002 --> 01:27:27,173 F.B.I. Drop the gun! I said, drop it. Harry! 1178 01:27:35,264 --> 01:27:40,352 And it's my plan to rerun this incident every night during Sweeps Week. 1179 01:27:40,436 --> 01:27:43,522 The obvious question is... What did you know and when did you know it? 1180 01:27:43,606 --> 01:27:45,858 And how long did you plan on letting me twist in the wind? 1181 01:27:45,941 --> 01:27:49,653 Up to a point. The Agency was barking up the same tree you were. 1182 01:27:49,737 --> 01:27:52,531 Jimmy Lee's finances. Yep. 1183 01:27:52,615 --> 01:27:56,285 It was easy for Harry and Field Officer Vincent to infiltrate the ministry. 1184 01:27:56,368 --> 01:27:58,579 Field Officer Vincent? 1185 01:27:58,620 --> 01:28:01,123 That's Mr. Coco's real name. 1186 01:28:01,206 --> 01:28:04,042 We've been working on this case for over a year. 1187 01:28:04,084 --> 01:28:08,881 Excuse me, Agent Goldstein, the officer would like to speak to you. Surely. 1188 01:28:08,964 --> 01:28:10,924 Goldstein? 1189 01:28:15,137 --> 01:28:17,764 Thank you, sir. 1190 01:28:17,848 --> 01:28:20,684 Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead. 1191 01:28:20,767 --> 01:28:24,313 So what's next, Fletch? Back to L.A.? 1192 01:28:24,396 --> 01:28:26,565 There's no place like home. 1193 01:28:26,648 --> 01:28:28,942 Unless home is here. 1194 01:28:28,984 --> 01:28:32,904 You know what? We gotta get you away from this chemical swamp. 1195 01:28:32,988 --> 01:28:36,158 I was wondering... Do you like smog? 1196 01:28:38,994 --> 01:28:41,455 Back home there was a surprise party for me. 1197 01:28:41,496 --> 01:28:46,793 But the nicest surprise was an insurance check for the Belle Isle fire... $ 100,000. 1198 01:28:46,918 --> 01:28:51,590 However, no one stopped Bly Bio Chem from dumping that toxic waste on my land. 1199 01:28:51,673 --> 01:28:56,303 They told me not to worry. Its half-life was estimated at 3,000 years. 1200 01:28:56,344 --> 01:28:58,346 Everything okay, Fletch? 1201 01:28:58,430 --> 01:29:01,182 Betty was a little pissed off about giving up her office, 1202 01:29:01,266 --> 01:29:04,019 and accounting gave me some flak about the new car, but trust me, 1203 01:29:04,102 --> 01:29:07,480 everything's gonna be just the way you want it, maybe better. 1204 01:29:07,522 --> 01:29:09,899 I like your attitude, Frank. 1205 01:29:09,983 --> 01:29:13,445 Excuse me just a sec. What a guy! 1206 01:29:15,572 --> 01:29:20,201 I thought I told you... never to come to my workplace. 1207 01:29:20,285 --> 01:29:22,454 Time's change, my dear Fletch. 1208 01:29:22,579 --> 01:29:25,915 Rumor has it that you have inherited a sizable piece of property. 1209 01:29:25,999 --> 01:29:30,211 Who told you? I have my sources too. 1210 01:29:30,295 --> 01:29:33,882 These sources also suggest that you may have been considering skipping town... 1211 01:29:33,965 --> 01:29:36,175 and retiring on this vast estate. 1212 01:29:36,217 --> 01:29:39,178 Thus skipping out on your financial responsibilities. 1213 01:29:39,220 --> 01:29:43,683 Would I do that? Wendy could probably get half of it anyway. 1214 01:29:43,766 --> 01:29:48,521 So in return for the other half, we would forego any other claims. 1215 01:29:48,604 --> 01:29:52,608 Think about it. You would never see me again. 1216 01:29:57,655 --> 01:30:00,408 Where do I sign? 1217 01:30:04,745 --> 01:30:06,998 I'll never see you again? Never. 1218 01:30:12,044 --> 01:30:15,298 You realize this is my family land? 1219 01:30:16,591 --> 01:30:19,343 Does it please you to rip out my ancestral roots? 1220 01:30:19,385 --> 01:30:22,680 I was born and raised in a briar patch. 1221 01:30:31,605 --> 01:30:34,358 Now Wendy can live a life of leisure. 1222 01:30:34,400 --> 01:30:39,196 Clean air, clean water. This is the way she was destined to live. 1223 01:30:39,280 --> 01:30:42,992 Okay, Gillet. You've broken me. 1224 01:30:43,075 --> 01:30:44,952 I hope you're happy. 1225 01:30:53,168 --> 01:30:56,714 *Hey, hey We gonna go out tonight * 1226 01:30:58,007 --> 01:31:03,095 *Hey, hey We gonna go out tonight * 1227 01:31:03,178 --> 01:31:07,141 * We gonna have some fun Everything will be all right * 1228 01:31:15,816 --> 01:31:17,734 * Ohhh * 1229 01:31:17,818 --> 01:31:19,820 *All right * 1230 01:31:51,560 --> 01:31:53,728 *Make a change in your life * 1231 01:31:55,814 --> 01:31:58,692 *And make it for the better * 1232 01:32:00,819 --> 01:32:04,739 *Don't you wait no longer * 1233 01:32:04,823 --> 01:32:08,076 *Itjust set you back further * 1234 01:32:10,954 --> 01:32:12,956 *It's not for the young * 1235 01:32:13,039 --> 01:32:15,395 *It's not for the old * 1236 01:32:15,430 --> 01:32:17,752 *It's not for the crazy * 1237 01:32:17,836 --> 01:32:20,296 *It's not for the bold * 1238 01:32:20,380 --> 01:32:24,300 *It's not for one generation * 1239 01:32:24,342 --> 01:32:26,970 *It's for the whole damn nation * 1240 01:32:28,680 --> 01:32:31,474 *I say, the whole damn nation * 1241 01:32:33,852 --> 01:32:37,772 *Make a change in your life * 1242 01:32:38,857 --> 01:32:41,776 *And make it for the better * 1243 01:32:43,987 --> 01:32:47,907 *Don't you wait no longer * 1244 01:32:47,991 --> 01:32:50,785 *Itjust set you back further * 1245 01:32:53,871 --> 01:32:56,332 *It's not for the black and white * 1246 01:32:56,367 --> 01:32:58,793 *It's not for the yellow and red * 1247 01:32:58,876 --> 01:33:01,796 *It's not for the sick and homeless * 1248 01:33:01,879 --> 01:33:04,757 *It's not forjust one race * 1249 01:33:04,841 --> 01:33:07,322 *It's not for one generation * 1250 01:33:07,357 --> 01:33:09,804 *It's for the whole damn nation * 1251 01:33:12,265 --> 01:33:14,809 *I say, the whole damn nation * 1252 01:33:55,808 --> 01:33:59,019 *Make a change in your life * 1253 01:34:00,229 --> 01:34:03,315 *And make it for the better * 1254 01:34:05,401 --> 01:34:09,446 *Don't you wait no longer * 1255 01:34:09,530 --> 01:34:11,532 *Itjust set you back further * 1256 01:34:15,577 --> 01:34:17,496 *It's not for the young * 1257 01:34:17,579 --> 01:34:19,498 *It's not for the old * 1258 01:34:19,581 --> 01:34:22,292 *It's not for the crazy * 1259 01:34:22,376 --> 01:34:24,586 *It's not for the bold * 1260 01:34:24,670 --> 01:34:27,548 *It's not for one generation * 1261 01:34:27,589 --> 01:34:30,717 *It's for the whole damn nation * 1262 01:34:33,303 --> 01:34:35,555 *I say, the whole damn nation * 1263 01:34:38,684 --> 01:34:41,478 *Make a change in your life * 1264 01:34:43,105 --> 01:34:45,315 *Make it for the better * 1265 01:34:48,068 --> 01:34:50,737 *Don't you wait no longer ** 1266 01:34:51,738 --> 01:35:01,748 Downloaded From www. 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