1 00:00:54,850 --> 00:00:58,342 This is a story about a man named Harold Crick. 2 00:00:58,553 --> 00:01:00,783 And his wristwatch. 3 00:01:01,356 --> 00:01:04,052 Harold Crick was a man of infinite numbers... 4 00:01:04,259 --> 00:01:07,922 ... endless calculations and remarkably few words. 5 00:01:08,130 --> 00:01:10,997 And his wristwatch said even less. 6 00:01:12,734 --> 00:01:15,567 Every weekday, for 12 years... 7 00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:21,209 ... Harold would brush each of his 32 teeth 76 times. 8 00:01:22,811 --> 00:01:25,336 Thirty-eight times back and forth. 9 00:01:25,881 --> 00:01:28,213 Thirty-eight times up and down. 10 00:01:29,685 --> 00:01:32,279 Every weekday, for 12 years... 11 00:01:32,487 --> 00:01:36,548 ... Harold would tie his tie in a single Windsor knot instead of the double... 12 00:01:36,758 --> 00:01:39,784 ... thereby saving up to 43 seconds. 13 00:01:39,995 --> 00:01:45,297 His wristwatch thought the single Windsor made his neck look fat... 14 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,092 ... but said nothing. 15 00:01:50,572 --> 00:01:52,802 Every weekday, for 12 years... 16 00:01:53,008 --> 00:01:57,638 ... Harold would run at a rate of nearly 57 steps per block for six blocks... 17 00:01:57,846 --> 00:02:01,179 ... barely catching the 8: 17 Kronecker bus. 18 00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,444 His wristwatch would delight... 19 00:02:03,652 --> 00:02:07,554 ... in the feeling of the crisp wind rushing over its face. 20 00:02:16,231 --> 00:02:18,165 And every weekday, for 12 years... 21 00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:21,734 ... Harold would review 7. 134 tax files... 22 00:02:21,937 --> 00:02:25,805 ... as a senior agent for the Internal Revenue Service. 23 00:02:26,341 --> 00:02:29,970 Regs section 1.469-2 (B) (i), Diane. Thanks. 24 00:02:30,178 --> 00:02:32,544 Good morning. IRS. 25 00:02:33,548 --> 00:02:36,312 Harold, 89 times 1417? 26 00:02:37,052 --> 00:02:39,179 126,113. 27 00:02:39,388 --> 00:02:40,355 That adds up. 28 00:02:40,822 --> 00:02:45,054 Only taking a 45. 7-minute lunch break... 29 00:02:46,161 --> 00:02:49,460 ... and a 4.3- Minute coffee break... 30 00:02:49,664 --> 00:02:52,758 ... timed precisely by his wristwatch. 31 00:02:53,235 --> 00:02:54,361 Oh, great. 32 00:02:54,569 --> 00:02:56,867 Yeah, we'll go to Mullen's or we'II... 33 00:02:57,506 --> 00:03:01,602 Beyond that, Harold lived a life of solitude. 34 00:03:02,611 --> 00:03:04,875 He would walk home alone. 35 00:03:06,782 --> 00:03:09,216 He would eat alone. 36 00:03:16,691 --> 00:03:20,593 And at precisely 11: 13 every night... 37 00:03:20,796 --> 00:03:23,560 ... Harold would go to bed alone... 38 00:03:23,765 --> 00:03:28,566 ... placing his wristwatch to rest on the nightstand beside him. 39 00:03:29,704 --> 00:03:33,731 That was, of course, before Wednesday. 40 00:03:35,377 --> 00:03:40,576 On Wednesday, Harold's wristwatch changed everything. 41 00:03:47,122 --> 00:03:48,749 Oh, my God, you got it? 42 00:03:48,957 --> 00:03:50,083 I got it. 43 00:03:50,625 --> 00:03:51,990 I got it. 44 00:04:04,706 --> 00:04:07,174 If one had asked Harold, he would have said... 45 00:04:07,375 --> 00:04:12,176 ... that this particular Wednesday was exactly like all the Wednesdays prior. 46 00:04:12,380 --> 00:04:14,507 And he began it the same way he... 47 00:04:25,293 --> 00:04:28,524 And he began it the same way he always did. 48 00:04:31,766 --> 00:04:32,858 Hello? 49 00:04:42,544 --> 00:04:45,741 He began it the same way he always did. 50 00:04:45,947 --> 00:04:47,574 When others' minds would... 51 00:04:47,782 --> 00:04:49,079 Hello? Is someone there? 52 00:04:56,458 --> 00:05:00,121 When others' minds would fantasize about their upcoming day... 53 00:05:00,328 --> 00:05:04,424 ... or even try to grip onto the final moments of their dreams... 54 00:05:04,633 --> 00:05:08,467 ... Harold just counted brushstrokes. 55 00:05:10,305 --> 00:05:13,433 All right, who just said, "Harold just counted brushstrokes"? 56 00:05:13,642 --> 00:05:15,940 And how do you know I'm counting brushstrokes? 57 00:05:16,611 --> 00:05:18,010 Hello? 58 00:05:20,615 --> 00:05:24,415 It was remarkable how the simple, modest... 59 00:05:26,988 --> 00:05:29,047 It was remarkable h... 60 00:05:32,994 --> 00:05:37,488 It was remarkable how the simple, modest elements of Harold's life... 61 00:05:37,699 --> 00:05:39,860 ... so often taken for granted... 62 00:05:40,068 --> 00:05:45,472 ... would become the catalyst for an entirely new life. 63 00:05:46,575 --> 00:05:48,236 Harold ran for the bus... 64 00:05:48,443 --> 00:05:51,742 ... his stiff leather shoes making a terrible squeaking sound... 65 00:05:51,947 --> 00:05:54,643 ... as they flexed against the asphalt. 66 00:06:00,088 --> 00:06:03,649 And though this was an extraordinary day... 67 00:06:03,858 --> 00:06:07,692 ... a day to be remembered for the rest of Harold's life... 68 00:06:07,896 --> 00:06:10,660 ... Harold just thought it was a Wednesday. 69 00:06:11,533 --> 00:06:13,160 I'm sorry, did you hear that? 70 00:06:14,402 --> 00:06:17,235 The voice. Did you hear it? "Harold thought it was a Wednesday"? 71 00:06:18,039 --> 00:06:19,870 Don't worry, it is Wednesday. 72 00:06:20,342 --> 00:06:24,108 No, no, did you hear it? "Harold just thought it was a Wednesday"? 73 00:06:24,946 --> 00:06:27,574 - Who's Harold? - I'm Harold. 74 00:06:28,183 --> 00:06:30,378 Harold, it's okay, it's Wednesday. 75 00:06:30,585 --> 00:06:32,052 No, no, I... 76 00:06:32,621 --> 00:06:34,213 Never mind. 77 00:06:35,790 --> 00:06:38,224 Harold couldn't concentrate on his work. 78 00:06:38,426 --> 00:06:39,393 Excuse me, Harold? 79 00:06:39,594 --> 00:06:42,529 His thoughts were scattered. His mind elsewhere. 80 00:06:42,731 --> 00:06:44,062 Sorry. 81 00:06:44,466 --> 00:06:47,094 Someone here should be able to fix... Hold on a second. 82 00:06:47,302 --> 00:06:50,567 Hey, Harold. What's 67 times 453? 83 00:06:50,772 --> 00:06:54,572 When a coworker asked the product of 67 and 453... 84 00:06:54,776 --> 00:06:56,971 You know what? I can't think while you're talking. 85 00:06:57,178 --> 00:06:58,668 ... he drew a blank. 86 00:06:58,880 --> 00:06:59,847 - What? - What? 87 00:07:00,081 --> 00:07:04,177 - Harold quickly answered, "30,351." - What? Oh, nothing. 30,351. 88 00:07:04,386 --> 00:07:07,685 Despite the answer really being 31,305. 89 00:07:07,889 --> 00:07:12,485 Wait, wait, wait, 31,305. Sorry. 90 00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:18,529 Dude, I just totally caught some insurance adjuster... 91 00:07:18,733 --> 00:07:21,395 ...claiming his jet ski as a work vehicle. 92 00:07:23,271 --> 00:07:24,636 I'll tell you, it is a shame... 93 00:07:24,839 --> 00:07:27,774 ...that they don't give out an auditor of the year award. 94 00:07:30,078 --> 00:07:31,409 Dude? 95 00:07:32,347 --> 00:07:33,746 You okay? 96 00:07:34,883 --> 00:07:36,976 Dave, I'm being followed. 97 00:07:41,756 --> 00:07:44,190 How are you being followed? You're not moving. 98 00:07:44,492 --> 00:07:47,290 - It's by a voice. - What? 99 00:07:47,495 --> 00:07:50,293 I'm being followed by a woman's voice. 100 00:07:53,301 --> 00:07:54,768 Okay. 101 00:07:56,638 --> 00:07:58,469 What is she saying? 102 00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:01,142 She's narrating. 103 00:08:05,847 --> 00:08:08,782 Harold, you're staring at boxes, what is she narrating? 104 00:08:08,983 --> 00:08:11,281 No, no, no. I had to stop filing. 105 00:08:11,486 --> 00:08:13,317 Watch. Watch. Listen. Listen. 106 00:08:15,490 --> 00:08:17,788 The sound the paper made against the folder... 107 00:08:17,992 --> 00:08:22,258 ... had the same tone as a wave scraping against sand. 108 00:08:23,531 --> 00:08:25,123 And when Harold thought about it... 109 00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:27,563 ... he listened to enough waves every day... 110 00:08:27,769 --> 00:08:32,638 ... to constitute what he imagined to be a deep and endless ocean. 111 00:08:33,975 --> 00:08:35,374 Did you hear that? 112 00:08:35,577 --> 00:08:36,976 You mean you filing? 113 00:08:37,178 --> 00:08:38,770 No, no, no, the voice. 114 00:08:39,881 --> 00:08:41,109 No. 115 00:08:42,550 --> 00:08:46,953 Frightening part is sometimes I do imagine a deep and endless ocean. 116 00:08:47,989 --> 00:08:49,286 What ocean? 117 00:08:49,491 --> 00:08:52,483 The one made by the sound... Forget it. 118 00:08:52,694 --> 00:08:54,662 New audits. Have a good day. 119 00:08:54,863 --> 00:08:56,160 Thank you. 120 00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:03,961 All right, we got a baker and a securities trader. 121 00:09:08,076 --> 00:09:09,703 Maybe you should take the baker. 122 00:09:10,745 --> 00:09:12,007 - Okay? - Okay. 123 00:09:20,321 --> 00:09:22,846 Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! 124 00:09:23,057 --> 00:09:26,083 - You miscreant. - I understand. 125 00:09:26,594 --> 00:09:30,724 Oh, get bent, taxman! 126 00:09:30,932 --> 00:09:32,991 - Taxman! - Taxman! 127 00:09:34,202 --> 00:09:36,033 Taxman! 128 00:09:38,239 --> 00:09:39,706 Go home! 129 00:09:39,908 --> 00:09:42,570 Listen, is there somewhere else we could talk about this? 130 00:09:43,945 --> 00:09:48,575 No. We're gonna talk about this right here. 131 00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:54,411 Okay. It says, the file, that you only paid part of your taxes for last year. 132 00:09:54,622 --> 00:09:57,682 - That's right. - Looks like only 78 percent. 133 00:09:57,892 --> 00:09:59,553 Yep. 134 00:10:00,562 --> 00:10:01,927 So you did it on purpose? 135 00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:03,392 Yep. 136 00:10:03,598 --> 00:10:05,429 So you must have been expecting an audit? 137 00:10:07,602 --> 00:10:11,197 I was expecting a fine... 138 00:10:12,106 --> 00:10:14,973 ...or a sharp reprimand. 139 00:10:15,476 --> 00:10:18,274 A reprimand? This isn't boarding school, Ms. Pascal. 140 00:10:18,479 --> 00:10:20,106 You stole from the government. 141 00:10:20,882 --> 00:10:26,184 No, I didn't steal from the government. I just didn't pay you entirely. 142 00:10:26,387 --> 00:10:29,288 Ms. Pascal, you can't just not pay your taxes. 143 00:10:30,225 --> 00:10:32,056 Yes, I can. 144 00:10:32,260 --> 00:10:34,057 You can if you wanna get audited. 145 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:37,821 Only if I recognize your right to audit me, Mr. Crick. 146 00:10:38,366 --> 00:10:40,732 Ms. Pascal, I'm right here auditing you. 147 00:10:41,202 --> 00:10:43,193 Now I have to go over your past three years... 148 00:10:43,404 --> 00:10:45,304 ...to make sure that's all you haven't paid. 149 00:10:45,773 --> 00:10:46,933 Fine. 150 00:10:48,309 --> 00:10:51,335 Actually, you know, it's not fine. 151 00:10:51,546 --> 00:10:55,448 Listen, I'm a big supporter of fixing potholes... 152 00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:58,983 ...and erecting swing sets and building shelters. 153 00:10:59,187 --> 00:11:02,418 I am more than happy to pay those taxes. 154 00:11:03,224 --> 00:11:07,058 I'm just not such a big fan of the percentage... 155 00:11:07,262 --> 00:11:10,857 ...that the government uses for national defense... 156 00:11:11,065 --> 00:11:14,626 ...corporate bailouts and campaign discretionary funds. 157 00:11:14,836 --> 00:11:18,363 So I didn't pay those taxes. 158 00:11:18,573 --> 00:11:20,200 I think, actually... 159 00:11:20,408 --> 00:11:24,105 ...I sent a letter to that effect with my return. 160 00:11:24,579 --> 00:11:28,481 Would it be the letter that begins, "Dear Imperialist Swine"? 161 00:11:28,683 --> 00:11:29,911 Yes. 162 00:11:30,919 --> 00:11:35,618 Ms. Pascal, what you're describing is anarchy. Are you an anarchist? 163 00:11:36,591 --> 00:11:41,221 - You mean am I a member of...? - An anarchist group, yes. 164 00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:44,560 Anarchists have a group? 165 00:11:44,766 --> 00:11:46,199 I believe so. Sure. 166 00:11:46,668 --> 00:11:47,896 They assemble? 167 00:11:49,604 --> 00:11:51,401 I don't know. 168 00:11:52,273 --> 00:11:56,141 Wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose? 169 00:11:56,544 --> 00:12:00,640 It was difficult for Harold to imagine Ms. Pascal as a revolutionary. 170 00:12:00,848 --> 00:12:02,076 - Not now. - Her thin arms... 171 00:12:02,283 --> 00:12:04,308 - What? ...hoisting protest signs. 172 00:12:04,519 --> 00:12:06,043 - Her long shapely legs... - Nothing. 173 00:12:06,254 --> 00:12:08,882 ... dashing from tear gas. 174 00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:11,488 Harold wasn't prone to fantasies... 175 00:12:11,693 --> 00:12:15,288 ... and so he tried his best to remain professional. 176 00:12:15,997 --> 00:12:17,862 But, of course, failed. 177 00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:21,530 He couldn't help but imagine Ms. Pascal... 178 00:12:21,736 --> 00:12:25,729 ... stroking the side of his face with the soft blade of her finger. 179 00:12:27,108 --> 00:12:30,544 He couldn't help but imagine her immersed in a tub... 180 00:12:30,745 --> 00:12:33,145 ... shaving her legs. 181 00:12:33,348 --> 00:12:37,011 And he couldn't help but imagine her naked... 182 00:12:37,218 --> 00:12:39,709 ...stretched across his bed. - Mr. Crick? 183 00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:45,191 - Mr. Crick. - Yes, what is it? 184 00:12:45,393 --> 00:12:48,089 You're staring at my tits. 185 00:12:49,897 --> 00:12:53,355 I wa...? I don't think I was. I don't think I would do that. 186 00:12:53,568 --> 00:12:55,195 If I was, I can assure you... 187 00:12:55,403 --> 00:12:58,634 ...it was only as a representative of the United States government. 188 00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:05,108 Sorry, I'm just having issues today. So I'll be back on Tuesday. 189 00:13:07,849 --> 00:13:12,115 Harold suddenly found himself beleaguered and exasperated... 190 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:14,720 ...outside the bakery... - Shut up! 191 00:13:14,922 --> 00:13:16,890 ... cursing the heavens in futility. 192 00:13:17,091 --> 00:13:19,321 No, I'm not, I'm cursing you, you stupid voice! 193 00:13:19,527 --> 00:13:22,462 So shut up and leave me alone! 194 00:13:49,223 --> 00:13:51,418 Hey, watch it! 195 00:14:20,188 --> 00:14:21,746 Excuse me. 196 00:14:23,491 --> 00:14:25,425 Excuse me. 197 00:14:29,897 --> 00:14:31,262 Are you Miss Eiffel? 198 00:14:33,868 --> 00:14:34,960 - Yes. - Excellent. 199 00:14:35,169 --> 00:14:36,693 May I ask what you're doing? 200 00:14:38,306 --> 00:14:39,796 Research. 201 00:14:40,007 --> 00:14:41,872 - Oh, am I interrupting? - Yes. 202 00:14:42,076 --> 00:14:44,977 I'm sorry. I'm Penny Escher. 203 00:14:45,179 --> 00:14:47,044 I'm the assistant your publishers hired. 204 00:14:48,182 --> 00:14:51,345 - The spy. - The assistant. 205 00:14:51,552 --> 00:14:53,986 I provide the same services as a secretary. 206 00:14:54,455 --> 00:14:56,218 I don't need a secretary. 207 00:14:56,991 --> 00:14:59,983 Then I will have to find some other way of occupying my time. 208 00:15:00,194 --> 00:15:01,821 Like watching me like a vulture... 209 00:15:02,029 --> 00:15:04,759 ...because the publishers think I have writer's block, right? 210 00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,565 Do you have writer's block? 211 00:15:11,205 --> 00:15:12,672 Are these pages? 212 00:15:12,874 --> 00:15:15,342 They're letters. To me. 213 00:15:16,043 --> 00:15:18,944 - Are you writing back? - I don't respond to letters. 214 00:15:19,580 --> 00:15:22,208 And I suppose you smoked all these cigarettes? 215 00:15:22,683 --> 00:15:24,947 No, they came pre-smoked. 216 00:15:25,419 --> 00:15:27,887 Yeah, they said you were funny. 217 00:15:31,893 --> 00:15:34,589 What do you think about leaping off a building? 218 00:15:35,663 --> 00:15:37,460 I don't think about leaping off buildings. 219 00:15:37,665 --> 00:15:40,463 - Yes, you do. - No. I try to think of nice things. 220 00:15:40,668 --> 00:15:42,602 Everyone thinks about leaping off buildings. 221 00:15:42,803 --> 00:15:46,466 Well, I certainly don't think about leaping off of a building. 222 00:15:53,648 --> 00:15:55,411 They say... 223 00:16:00,721 --> 00:16:03,622 I read this in this fantastically depressing book. 224 00:16:04,759 --> 00:16:07,284 - That when you jump from a building... 225 00:16:07,495 --> 00:16:10,828 ...it's rarely the impact that actually kills you. 226 00:16:11,299 --> 00:16:13,392 Well, I'm sure it doesn't help. 227 00:16:13,768 --> 00:16:17,761 There's a photograph in the book called The Leaper. 228 00:16:17,972 --> 00:16:19,496 It's old, but it's beautiful. 229 00:16:20,408 --> 00:16:24,174 From above the corpse of a woman who'd just leapt to her death. 230 00:16:24,445 --> 00:16:28,438 There's blood around her head, like a halo... 231 00:16:28,649 --> 00:16:31,777 ...and her leg's buckled underneath, her arm's snapped like a twig... 232 00:16:33,187 --> 00:16:35,678 ...but her face is so serene... 233 00:16:36,224 --> 00:16:38,283 ...so at peace. 234 00:16:38,793 --> 00:16:40,693 And I think it's because when she died... 235 00:16:40,895 --> 00:16:44,296 ...she could feel the wind against her face. 236 00:16:49,637 --> 00:16:53,869 I don't know how to kill Harold Crick. That's why they sent you. 237 00:16:54,442 --> 00:16:56,410 Yes, to help you. 238 00:16:57,645 --> 00:16:59,112 How are you gonna help me? 239 00:16:59,313 --> 00:17:01,440 You, who never thinks of leaping off buildings? 240 00:17:01,649 --> 00:17:04,243 What great inspiration will you bestow on me? 241 00:17:04,452 --> 00:17:06,750 I'll tell you, the quaint ideas you've gathered... 242 00:17:06,954 --> 00:17:08,979 ...in your adorable career as an "assistant"... 243 00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:12,023 ...are to no avail when faced with killing a man. 244 00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,490 I understand. 245 00:17:14,829 --> 00:17:17,525 Do you? I can't just... 246 00:17:24,438 --> 00:17:25,735 As much as I would like to... 247 00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:29,671 ...I cannot simply throw Harold Crick off a building. 248 00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:41,583 Miss Eiffel. Kay. I've been an author's assistant for 11 years. 249 00:17:41,789 --> 00:17:44,553 I've helped more than 20 authors complete more than 35 books... 250 00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,818 ...and I've never missed the deadline. 251 00:17:47,028 --> 00:17:50,020 And I have never gone back to the publisher to ask for more time. 252 00:17:50,231 --> 00:17:53,667 Now, I will be available to you every minute of every day... 253 00:17:53,868 --> 00:17:57,497 ...until the final punctuation is embedded on the very last page. 254 00:17:57,705 --> 00:18:02,074 I do not like loud music. I do not abide narcotics. 255 00:18:02,376 --> 00:18:07,575 And I will gladly and quietly help you kill Harold Crick. 256 00:18:16,490 --> 00:18:20,859 I had a very interesting little convo with someone in your section. 257 00:18:21,062 --> 00:18:22,256 Yeah? 258 00:18:23,631 --> 00:18:26,395 They said you were feeling a little wibbly-wobbly. 259 00:18:29,537 --> 00:18:31,596 Catch a little cubicle fever? 260 00:18:32,139 --> 00:18:34,107 Oh, I don't know. I think I'm okay. 261 00:18:34,842 --> 00:18:40,075 Harold, a tree doesn't think it's a tree... 262 00:18:40,414 --> 00:18:42,473 ...it is a tree. 263 00:18:42,983 --> 00:18:45,781 Why was Harold talking to this man? 264 00:18:46,287 --> 00:18:48,755 This man was an idiot. 265 00:18:48,956 --> 00:18:54,451 This man used words like "wibbly-wobbly" and "convo." 266 00:18:54,929 --> 00:18:58,057 And explained that trees were trees. 267 00:18:58,599 --> 00:19:00,328 Of course trees were trees. 268 00:19:00,534 --> 00:19:02,263 Harold knew trees were trees. 269 00:19:02,470 --> 00:19:04,097 I am going to believe you, Harold. 270 00:19:04,305 --> 00:19:06,739 What Harold didn't know was why he couldn't shake... 271 00:19:06,941 --> 00:19:09,501 ... the smell of brownies from his senses. 272 00:19:09,710 --> 00:19:14,170 Why Ms. Pascal had made his fingertips quiver and lips go numb. 273 00:19:15,683 --> 00:19:17,048 Harold? 274 00:19:19,453 --> 00:19:21,580 Yes? Sorry. 275 00:19:22,189 --> 00:19:24,350 What's going on, Harold? 276 00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:27,122 Well... 277 00:19:29,530 --> 00:19:32,658 Nothing. Everything's fine. 278 00:19:34,935 --> 00:19:37,904 Listen, according to your records... 279 00:19:38,105 --> 00:19:42,769 ...you haven't taken vacation in a few years now. 280 00:19:42,977 --> 00:19:46,105 Let's say you take a little break. 281 00:19:46,714 --> 00:19:49,080 Use some of that vaca time. 282 00:19:50,718 --> 00:19:54,051 Yeah. I'll think about it. 283 00:19:58,392 --> 00:19:59,757 Harold. 284 00:20:01,695 --> 00:20:06,496 I'm not really supposed to do this, but... 285 00:20:25,786 --> 00:20:28,311 Harold assumed his watch was simply on the fritz... 286 00:20:28,522 --> 00:20:32,322 ... and never even considered that it might be trying to tell him something. 287 00:20:35,262 --> 00:20:38,322 In fact, Harold had never once paid attention to his watch... 288 00:20:38,532 --> 00:20:40,397 ... other than to find out the time. 289 00:20:40,601 --> 00:20:44,867 And, honestly, it drove his watch crazy. 290 00:20:45,272 --> 00:20:47,672 And so, on this particular Wednesday evening... 291 00:20:47,875 --> 00:20:51,242 ... as Harold waited for the bus, his watch suddenly... 292 00:20:52,079 --> 00:20:53,944 ... stopped. 293 00:20:55,683 --> 00:20:57,446 Sorry, does anyone have the time? 294 00:20:58,385 --> 00:21:01,616 - Yeah, I got 6:18. - Thanks. 295 00:21:01,822 --> 00:21:07,920 Thus Harold's watch thrust him into the immitigable path of fate. 296 00:21:08,128 --> 00:21:12,394 Little did he know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act... 297 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,398 ... would result in his imminent death. 298 00:21:15,736 --> 00:21:17,863 What? What? 299 00:21:18,072 --> 00:21:20,063 Hey! Hello? 300 00:21:20,541 --> 00:21:21,940 What? 301 00:21:22,643 --> 00:21:23,905 Why? 302 00:21:24,645 --> 00:21:26,306 Why my death? 303 00:21:26,547 --> 00:21:27,946 Hello! 304 00:21:28,582 --> 00:21:30,641 Excuse me! 305 00:21:31,118 --> 00:21:32,813 When? 306 00:21:33,521 --> 00:21:35,512 How imminent? 307 00:21:36,457 --> 00:21:38,049 Okay, where are you? 308 00:21:45,432 --> 00:21:49,596 "Harold would brush his 32 teeth 72 times." 309 00:21:50,104 --> 00:21:53,665 Why won't you say anything? I heard you. 310 00:21:54,308 --> 00:21:56,469 "That would result in his imminent death." 311 00:21:57,111 --> 00:21:58,908 I heard you! 312 00:21:59,613 --> 00:22:01,240 Come on, you stupid voice. 313 00:22:01,448 --> 00:22:04,008 "Harold frantically grabbed his lamp. 314 00:22:04,985 --> 00:22:09,445 Harold, incensed, shook the hell out of it for no apparent reason! 315 00:22:09,657 --> 00:22:13,320 And smashed it on the ground, kicking it repeatedly! 316 00:22:15,062 --> 00:22:17,929 Harold took his Kleenex box, threw it across the room... 317 00:22:18,132 --> 00:22:19,759 ...then stormed the closet!" 318 00:22:22,469 --> 00:22:24,528 Come on. Say something. 319 00:22:26,740 --> 00:22:29,300 Something. Say something! 320 00:22:30,544 --> 00:22:32,535 Say something! 321 00:22:39,486 --> 00:22:42,319 "Harold, distraught..." 322 00:22:44,224 --> 00:22:45,714 God. 323 00:22:46,193 --> 00:22:48,286 "Harold, distraught..." 324 00:22:51,365 --> 00:22:52,889 "Harold..." 325 00:22:57,037 --> 00:23:01,269 I'm afraid what you're describing is schizophrenia. 326 00:23:03,677 --> 00:23:08,979 No. No. It's not schizophrenia. It's just a voice in my head. 327 00:23:09,183 --> 00:23:12,846 I mean, the voice isn't telling me to do anything. 328 00:23:13,053 --> 00:23:15,544 It's telling me what I've already done. 329 00:23:15,923 --> 00:23:18,756 Accurately and with a better vocabulary. 330 00:23:19,627 --> 00:23:22,562 Mr. Crick, you have a voice speaking to you. 331 00:23:23,030 --> 00:23:26,158 No, not to me, about me. 332 00:23:26,634 --> 00:23:31,571 I'm somehow involved in some sort of story. 333 00:23:31,972 --> 00:23:34,532 Like I'm a character in my own life. 334 00:23:35,075 --> 00:23:38,875 But the problem is that the voice comes and goes. 335 00:23:39,179 --> 00:23:42,307 Like there are other parts of the story not being told to me... 336 00:23:42,516 --> 00:23:46,077 ...and I need to find out what those other parts are before it's too late. 337 00:23:46,553 --> 00:23:49,283 Before the story concludes with your death. 338 00:23:49,490 --> 00:23:50,855 Yes. 339 00:23:51,659 --> 00:23:54,127 Mr. Crick, I hate to sound like a broken record... 340 00:23:54,328 --> 00:23:56,626 ...but that's schizophrenia. 341 00:23:58,032 --> 00:24:02,662 You don't sound like a broken record, but it's just not schizophrenia. 342 00:24:03,737 --> 00:24:06,570 What if what I said was true? 343 00:24:06,774 --> 00:24:12,041 Hypothetically speaking, if I was part of a story, a narrative... 344 00:24:12,246 --> 00:24:16,114 ...even if it was only in my mind... 345 00:24:16,450 --> 00:24:18,042 ...what would you suggest that I do? 346 00:24:18,986 --> 00:24:22,080 I would suggest you take prescribed medication. 347 00:24:23,424 --> 00:24:25,051 Other than that. 348 00:24:25,259 --> 00:24:27,159 I don't know. 349 00:24:27,795 --> 00:24:31,856 I suppose I would send you to see someone who knows about literature. 350 00:24:34,168 --> 00:24:35,362 Okay. 351 00:24:36,270 --> 00:24:39,330 Yeah. That's a good idea. 352 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,769 Thank you. 353 00:24:42,409 --> 00:24:45,003 So you're the gentleman who called me about the narrator. 354 00:24:45,212 --> 00:24:47,874 - Yes. - This narrator says you're gonna die. 355 00:24:48,082 --> 00:24:49,208 Yes. 356 00:24:49,416 --> 00:24:52,874 - How long has it given you to live? - I don't know. 357 00:24:53,153 --> 00:24:56,418 Dramatic irony. It'll fuck you every time. 358 00:24:57,424 --> 00:24:59,415 - So you crazy or what? - Well... 359 00:24:59,626 --> 00:25:01,651 Are you allowed to say that to crazy people? 360 00:25:01,862 --> 00:25:03,989 - I don't know. - Oh, well. How many stairs... 361 00:25:04,198 --> 00:25:06,496 ...in the hallway out there? - What? 362 00:25:06,700 --> 00:25:08,964 You were counting them as we walked, weren't you? 363 00:25:09,169 --> 00:25:10,363 No. 364 00:25:10,571 --> 00:25:12,266 Of course. What bank do you work at? 365 00:25:12,473 --> 00:25:14,634 No bank. IRS agent. 366 00:25:15,275 --> 00:25:16,367 - Married? - No. 367 00:25:16,577 --> 00:25:17,601 Ever? 368 00:25:17,811 --> 00:25:20,746 Engaged to an auditor. She left me for an actuary. 369 00:25:20,948 --> 00:25:24,714 - How heartbreaking. Live alone? - Yes. 370 00:25:26,019 --> 00:25:29,318 - Any pets? - No. 371 00:25:29,690 --> 00:25:33,558 - Friends? - No. Well, Dave at work. 372 00:25:34,795 --> 00:25:37,958 I see. The narrator, exactly what does he sound like? 373 00:25:38,165 --> 00:25:39,496 It's a woman. 374 00:25:40,734 --> 00:25:42,031 A woman. 375 00:25:42,236 --> 00:25:44,363 - Is it a familiar woman? - No. 376 00:25:44,571 --> 00:25:46,266 Someone you know? 377 00:25:47,141 --> 00:25:48,335 No. 378 00:25:48,542 --> 00:25:51,170 Did you have enough time to count the tiles in the bathroom? 379 00:25:51,745 --> 00:25:53,713 I wasn't counting the tiles. 380 00:25:55,149 --> 00:25:56,912 - Coffee? - No, thank you. 381 00:25:57,117 --> 00:25:58,584 - Sure? - Yes. 382 00:25:59,753 --> 00:26:02,221 So this woman, the voice, told you you're gonna die? 383 00:26:02,422 --> 00:26:04,652 She didn't tell me. She doesn't know I can hear her. 384 00:26:04,858 --> 00:26:06,655 - But she said it. - Yes. 385 00:26:06,860 --> 00:26:08,088 And you believed her. 386 00:26:08,929 --> 00:26:10,726 She's been right about a few other things. 387 00:26:10,931 --> 00:26:14,492 - Such as? - How I felt about work. 388 00:26:14,701 --> 00:26:17,169 - You dislike your work? - Yes. 389 00:26:18,772 --> 00:26:21,400 Well, not the most insightful voice in the world, is it? 390 00:26:21,642 --> 00:26:23,906 First thing on a list of what Americans hate: Work. 391 00:26:24,111 --> 00:26:26,773 Second, traffic. Third, missing socks. See what I'm saying? 392 00:26:26,980 --> 00:26:27,947 Sort of. 393 00:26:28,148 --> 00:26:30,139 I told you you were gonna die, you believe me? 394 00:26:30,350 --> 00:26:31,681 - No. - Why? 395 00:26:31,885 --> 00:26:33,250 I don't know you. 396 00:26:33,453 --> 00:26:35,512 - But you don't know this narrator. - Well... 397 00:26:36,790 --> 00:26:41,352 - Okay, Mr. Crick, I can't help you. - Why? 398 00:26:41,562 --> 00:26:44,622 Well, I'm not an expert in crazy, I'm an expert in literature theory. 399 00:26:44,832 --> 00:26:47,266 And I gotta tell you, thus far... 400 00:26:47,467 --> 00:26:50,368 ...there doesn't seem to be a single literary thing about you. 401 00:26:50,571 --> 00:26:53,870 I don't doubt you hear a voice, but it couldn't possibly be a narrator... 402 00:26:54,074 --> 00:26:57,100 ...because, frankly, there doesn't seem to be much to narrate. 403 00:26:57,311 --> 00:26:59,745 Beside that, this semester I'm teaching five courses. 404 00:26:59,947 --> 00:27:01,642 I'm mentoring two doctoral candidates... 405 00:27:01,849 --> 00:27:03,817 ...and I'm the faculty lifeguard at the pool. 406 00:27:06,153 --> 00:27:09,680 - I just thought you could possibly... - Perhaps you should keep a journal. 407 00:27:09,890 --> 00:27:11,858 Write down what she said or something. 408 00:27:12,059 --> 00:27:14,789 That's all I can suggest. 409 00:27:16,797 --> 00:27:19,391 I can barely remember it all. I just remember: 410 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:24,094 "Little did he know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act... 411 00:27:24,304 --> 00:27:26,772 ...would lead to his imminent death." 412 00:27:26,974 --> 00:27:29,841 - What? - "Little did he know that this..." 413 00:27:30,043 --> 00:27:32,807 - Did you say, "little did he know"? - Yes. 414 00:27:34,281 --> 00:27:37,148 I've written papers on "little did he know." 415 00:27:37,718 --> 00:27:40,812 I used to teach a class based on "little did he know." 416 00:27:42,222 --> 00:27:45,885 I mean, I once gave an entire seminar on "little did he know." 417 00:27:46,093 --> 00:27:47,924 Son of a bitch, Harold. 418 00:27:48,962 --> 00:27:51,795 "Little did he know" means there's something he doesn't know... 419 00:27:51,999 --> 00:27:55,332 ...that means there's something you don't know. Did you know that? 420 00:27:56,737 --> 00:27:59,171 - I want you to come back Friday. - Okay. 421 00:27:59,373 --> 00:28:01,603 No, "imminent," you could be dead by Friday. 422 00:28:01,808 --> 00:28:05,835 Come back tomorrow at 9:45. 423 00:28:06,046 --> 00:28:08,344 Ten seconds ago you said you wouldn't help me. 424 00:28:10,150 --> 00:28:12,778 It's been a very revealing 10 seconds, Harold. 425 00:28:16,857 --> 00:28:19,223 Harold was deep in thought. 426 00:28:19,426 --> 00:28:23,886 For a few, brief moments, from Born Boulevard to Euclid Avenue... 427 00:28:24,097 --> 00:28:26,565 ... all the calculations and all the rules... 428 00:28:26,767 --> 00:28:31,067 ... and all the precision of Harold's life just faded away. 429 00:28:32,306 --> 00:28:36,072 How perfect then that in this space... 430 00:28:36,276 --> 00:28:39,177 ... Ana Pascal would appear. 431 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:41,640 Ms. Pascal. 432 00:28:43,951 --> 00:28:46,146 Ms. Pascal, it's Harold Crick from the IRS. 433 00:28:46,353 --> 00:28:47,820 Excuse me. 434 00:28:51,058 --> 00:28:53,788 - Hi. - Hi. 435 00:28:53,994 --> 00:28:56,758 - Would you like a seat? - Nope. 436 00:28:56,964 --> 00:28:58,989 There's 11 open ones. 437 00:28:59,199 --> 00:29:00,928 I don't care. 438 00:29:04,805 --> 00:29:05,897 Sorry about that. 439 00:29:17,684 --> 00:29:19,117 How are you? 440 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,950 I'm lousy. I'm being audited. 441 00:29:23,357 --> 00:29:24,551 Of course. 442 00:29:24,992 --> 00:29:26,789 By a real creep too. 443 00:29:32,966 --> 00:29:35,560 I think I owe you an apology. 444 00:29:36,536 --> 00:29:39,027 - Really? - IRS agents... 445 00:29:39,239 --> 00:29:42,640 ...we're given rigorous aptitude tests before we can work. 446 00:29:43,377 --> 00:29:47,711 Unfortunately for you, we aren't tested on tact or good manners... 447 00:29:48,048 --> 00:29:50,141 ...so I apologize. 448 00:29:51,051 --> 00:29:54,145 I ogled you. 449 00:29:55,956 --> 00:29:57,321 Sorry. 450 00:30:01,595 --> 00:30:04,189 Okay, apology accepted. 451 00:30:05,232 --> 00:30:07,962 But only because you stammered. 452 00:30:14,741 --> 00:30:18,108 So you're a frequenter of the metropolitan transit authority too? 453 00:30:19,079 --> 00:30:21,411 No. I'm just late. 454 00:30:22,416 --> 00:30:24,646 Big flag-burning to get to? 455 00:30:25,819 --> 00:30:27,343 Actually... 456 00:30:28,488 --> 00:30:32,948 ...it's my weekly evil-conspiracy and needlepoint group. 457 00:30:34,294 --> 00:30:35,921 You wanna come? 458 00:30:37,197 --> 00:30:40,598 I left my thimbles and socialist reading material at home. 459 00:30:42,436 --> 00:30:43,835 So... 460 00:30:47,307 --> 00:30:50,435 Harold nervously made small talk. 461 00:30:51,545 --> 00:30:53,911 You have very straight teeth. 462 00:30:54,114 --> 00:30:55,775 Very small talk. 463 00:30:57,050 --> 00:31:00,019 Thanks. They're real. 464 00:31:00,220 --> 00:31:03,553 Harold quickly calculated the odds of making an ass of himself... 465 00:31:03,757 --> 00:31:07,591 ... in ratio to the amount of time he stayed to chat. 466 00:31:09,062 --> 00:31:11,189 This is my stop. I should go. 467 00:31:13,333 --> 00:31:15,733 - He was elated and surprised... - See you soon. 468 00:31:15,936 --> 00:31:19,929 ... by his somewhat flirtatious encounter with Ms. Pascal. 469 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,409 So elated that he exited the Transit Authority bus... 470 00:31:23,610 --> 00:31:28,013 ... a good 27 blocks too early and would now have to walk. 471 00:31:46,933 --> 00:31:49,367 - "You ain't down yet." - That's right. 472 00:31:49,569 --> 00:31:54,097 Tell us, what is You Ain't Got Nothin' On Me about, Emmett Cole? 473 00:31:54,307 --> 00:31:55,865 What does this mean? 474 00:31:56,076 --> 00:32:00,911 Well, it's about being around in the world, doing different things... 475 00:32:01,114 --> 00:32:03,412 ...doing what you wanna do... - Come in. 476 00:32:06,553 --> 00:32:10,546 Mr. Crick. Come in, come in. Please. 477 00:32:12,726 --> 00:32:13,750 How are you? 478 00:32:14,461 --> 00:32:15,689 I'm fine, actually. 479 00:32:15,896 --> 00:32:17,727 You can turn that off. 480 00:32:18,265 --> 00:32:20,756 Looks like our narrator hasn't killed you quite yet. 481 00:32:20,967 --> 00:32:24,232 - No, not yet. - Good, great. Have a seat. 482 00:32:24,971 --> 00:32:26,962 - Count the stairs outside? - No. 483 00:32:27,174 --> 00:32:30,143 Course not. I've devised a test... 484 00:32:30,343 --> 00:32:32,811 How exciting is that? - Of 23 questions... 485 00:32:33,013 --> 00:32:36,574 ...which I think might help uncover more truths about this narrator. 486 00:32:36,783 --> 00:32:38,614 - Now, Howard... - Harold. 487 00:32:38,818 --> 00:32:42,652 Harold. These may seem silly, but your candor is paramount. 488 00:32:42,856 --> 00:32:44,346 Okay. 489 00:32:44,824 --> 00:32:46,223 So. 490 00:32:48,428 --> 00:32:52,330 We know it's a woman's voice, the story involves your death... 491 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:55,558 ...it's modern, it's in English. 492 00:32:55,769 --> 00:32:58,567 I'm assuming the author has a cursory knowledge of the city. 493 00:32:58,772 --> 00:33:01,707 - Sure. - Okay, good. 494 00:33:04,411 --> 00:33:06,140 Question one: 495 00:33:06,346 --> 00:33:08,837 "Has anyone recently left any gifts outside your home?" 496 00:33:09,049 --> 00:33:10,607 Anything? Gum? Money? 497 00:33:10,817 --> 00:33:12,944 - A large wooden horse? - I'm sorry? 498 00:33:13,153 --> 00:33:15,144 - Just answer the question. - No. 499 00:33:15,355 --> 00:33:17,983 "Do you find yourself inclined to solve murder mysteries... 500 00:33:18,191 --> 00:33:21,592 ...in large, luxurious homes to which...?" Let me finish. 501 00:33:21,795 --> 00:33:24,286 "To which you may or may not have been invited?" 502 00:33:24,497 --> 00:33:25,691 No. No, no, no. 503 00:33:25,899 --> 00:33:28,925 All right. On a scale of one to 10... 504 00:33:29,135 --> 00:33:32,662 ...what would you consider the likelihood you might be assassinated? 505 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,207 Assassinated? 506 00:33:34,407 --> 00:33:37,672 One being very unlikely, 10 being expecting it around every corner. 507 00:33:38,545 --> 00:33:41,275 - I have no idea... - Okay. Let me rephrase. 508 00:33:42,115 --> 00:33:44,106 Are you the king of anything? 509 00:33:45,185 --> 00:33:46,209 - Like what? - Anything. 510 00:33:46,419 --> 00:33:48,717 King of the lanes at the local bowling alley. 511 00:33:48,922 --> 00:33:50,321 "King of the lanes"? 512 00:33:50,523 --> 00:33:54,391 - King of the lanes. King of the trolls. - "King of the trolls"? 513 00:33:54,594 --> 00:33:58,894 Yes. A clandestine land found underneath your floorboards. 514 00:33:59,099 --> 00:34:00,396 - Anything. - No. 515 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,659 No. That's ridiculous. 516 00:34:02,869 --> 00:34:05,963 Agreed. But let's start with ridiculous and move backwards. 517 00:34:06,606 --> 00:34:09,541 Now, was any part of you at one time part of something else? 518 00:34:09,743 --> 00:34:11,904 Like do I have someone else's arms? 519 00:34:12,112 --> 00:34:15,138 Well, is it possible at one time that you were made of stone... 520 00:34:15,348 --> 00:34:17,248 ...wood, lye, varied corpse parts... 521 00:34:17,450 --> 00:34:19,816 ...or earth made holy by rabbinical elders? 522 00:34:20,020 --> 00:34:23,717 No. Look... I'm sorry. What do these questions have to do with anything? 523 00:34:23,923 --> 00:34:26,050 The only way to find out what story you're in... 524 00:34:26,259 --> 00:34:28,250 ...is to determine what stories you're not in. 525 00:34:28,461 --> 00:34:31,726 Odd as it may seem, I've just ruled out half of Greek literature... 526 00:34:31,931 --> 00:34:34,024 ...seven fairy tales, 10 Chinese fables... 527 00:34:34,234 --> 00:34:37,169 ...and determined conclusively that you are not King Hamlet... 528 00:34:37,370 --> 00:34:39,361 ...Scout Finch, Miss Marple... 529 00:34:39,572 --> 00:34:43,235 ...Frankenstein's monster, or a golem. 530 00:34:48,381 --> 00:34:50,406 Aren't you relieved to know you're not a golem? 531 00:34:51,451 --> 00:34:54,784 Yes, I am relieved to know that I am not a golem. 532 00:34:54,988 --> 00:34:55,955 Good. 533 00:35:00,894 --> 00:35:02,589 Do you have magical powers? 534 00:35:38,231 --> 00:35:40,426 May I ask what we're doing out here? 535 00:35:40,633 --> 00:35:44,160 - We're imagining car wrecks. - I see. 536 00:35:45,505 --> 00:35:47,769 And we can't imagine car wrecks inside? 537 00:35:47,974 --> 00:35:49,498 No. 538 00:35:50,343 --> 00:35:52,573 Did you know that 41 percent of accidents... 539 00:35:52,779 --> 00:35:55,270 ...occur in times of inclement weather? 540 00:35:55,482 --> 00:35:57,746 So do 90 percent of pneumonia cases. 541 00:35:57,951 --> 00:36:02,854 Really? Pneumonia. That's an interesting way to die. 542 00:36:03,790 --> 00:36:06,418 But how would Harold catch pneumonia? 543 00:36:06,626 --> 00:36:08,617 Have you written anything new today? 544 00:36:08,828 --> 00:36:10,090 No. 545 00:36:10,296 --> 00:36:13,094 Did you read the poems I suggested, or make a list of words... 546 00:36:13,299 --> 00:36:15,267 ...buy new typing paper, anything? 547 00:36:15,468 --> 00:36:17,026 No, none of it. 548 00:36:18,405 --> 00:36:20,168 Sitting in the rain won't write books. 549 00:36:20,373 --> 00:36:24,639 Well, that illustrates exactly how much you know about writing books. 550 00:36:31,785 --> 00:36:32,945 What's this? 551 00:36:33,553 --> 00:36:35,885 It's literature on the nicotine patch. 552 00:36:37,257 --> 00:36:40,454 I don't need a nicotine patch, Penny. I smoke cigarettes. 553 00:36:41,494 --> 00:36:42,756 Well, it may help. 554 00:36:42,962 --> 00:36:46,090 May help? Help what? 555 00:36:46,566 --> 00:36:49,467 Help what, Penny? Help write a novel? 556 00:36:49,669 --> 00:36:51,899 May help save your life. 557 00:36:52,238 --> 00:36:54,672 I'm not in the business of saving lives. 558 00:36:57,444 --> 00:36:59,469 In fact, just the opposite. 559 00:37:02,549 --> 00:37:04,642 - "What's your favorite word?" - Integer. 560 00:37:04,851 --> 00:37:06,375 Good, good, good. 561 00:37:06,586 --> 00:37:08,713 "Do you aspire to anything?" 562 00:37:10,056 --> 00:37:12,616 - No. - Conquer Russia? 563 00:37:12,826 --> 00:37:15,386 - Win a whistling contest? - No. 564 00:37:15,595 --> 00:37:19,463 Harold, you must have some ambition. 565 00:37:20,266 --> 00:37:23,861 - I don't think so. - Some underlying dream. Think. 566 00:37:26,139 --> 00:37:27,629 Well... 567 00:37:28,775 --> 00:37:31,403 ...I've always wanted my life to be more musical. 568 00:37:32,178 --> 00:37:35,579 - Like West Side Story? - No. 569 00:37:36,015 --> 00:37:37,880 - Like... - What? 570 00:37:38,084 --> 00:37:41,520 Well, I've always wanted to learn to play the guitar. 571 00:37:43,990 --> 00:37:45,617 Okay. 572 00:37:47,460 --> 00:37:49,428 The last thing to determine conclusively... 573 00:37:49,629 --> 00:37:52,120 ...is whether you're in a comedy or a tragedy. 574 00:37:52,332 --> 00:37:53,663 To quote Italo Calvino: 575 00:37:53,867 --> 00:37:57,132 "The ultimate meaning to which all stories refer has two faces: 576 00:37:57,337 --> 00:38:00,204 The continuity of life, the inevitability of death." 577 00:38:01,174 --> 00:38:04,541 Tragedy, you die. Comedy, you get hitched. 578 00:38:08,348 --> 00:38:10,316 Most comic heroes fall in love with people... 579 00:38:10,517 --> 00:38:12,314 ...introduced after the story has begun. 580 00:38:12,519 --> 00:38:15,147 Usually people who hate the hero initially. 581 00:38:15,355 --> 00:38:19,155 Although I can't imagine anyone hating you, Harold. 582 00:38:19,359 --> 00:38:23,159 Professor Hilbert, I'm an IRS agent. 583 00:38:23,530 --> 00:38:24,724 Everyone hates me. 584 00:38:26,165 --> 00:38:27,359 Right, right. Good. 585 00:38:27,567 --> 00:38:30,832 Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you? 586 00:38:31,938 --> 00:38:35,271 I just started auditing a woman who told me to get bent. 587 00:38:36,276 --> 00:38:37,937 Well, that sounds like a comedy. 588 00:38:39,646 --> 00:38:41,477 Try to develop that. 589 00:38:43,283 --> 00:38:44,307 Four of these? 590 00:38:44,517 --> 00:38:46,451 You know, I didn't get my honey, honey. 591 00:38:46,653 --> 00:38:50,180 Lulu, can you refill the honey for Larry? Quarters also? 592 00:38:50,390 --> 00:38:51,982 That's my good boy. 593 00:38:52,191 --> 00:38:54,125 I'm adding some acorns. 594 00:38:54,594 --> 00:38:55,993 Mr. Crick. 595 00:38:57,130 --> 00:39:00,566 You're here early. Must have a lot of people to extort. 596 00:39:00,767 --> 00:39:02,632 No. No, just you. 597 00:39:04,003 --> 00:39:06,801 - Twig tea and banana bread. - Yes, ma'am. 598 00:39:07,006 --> 00:39:10,464 Actually, it should only take the day to make sure 22 percent is all you owe. 599 00:39:10,677 --> 00:39:14,408 Well, I won't be paying no matter the percentage, Mr. Crick. 600 00:39:14,614 --> 00:39:18,482 No, I know. But the percent determines how big your cell is. 601 00:39:25,158 --> 00:39:26,785 You know, you can call me Harold. 602 00:39:26,993 --> 00:39:30,156 Yeah, I know. But I don't want to. 603 00:39:32,365 --> 00:39:33,559 This is for Ramona, honey. 604 00:39:33,766 --> 00:39:36,462 - Oh, thank you. - You're very welcome. 605 00:39:37,103 --> 00:39:39,071 What is that? What are you marking? 606 00:39:40,940 --> 00:39:42,464 Oh, this is nothing. 607 00:39:42,675 --> 00:39:45,803 Why don't we start with your backup documents... 608 00:39:46,012 --> 00:39:48,480 ...and the receipts for the past three years. 609 00:39:48,681 --> 00:39:50,171 Sure. 610 00:39:58,858 --> 00:40:00,052 What's this? 611 00:40:01,461 --> 00:40:03,554 - My files. - What? 612 00:40:03,763 --> 00:40:05,253 My tax files. 613 00:40:06,165 --> 00:40:07,655 You keep your files like this? 614 00:40:07,867 --> 00:40:10,665 No, actually I'm quite fastidious. 615 00:40:10,870 --> 00:40:14,397 I put them in this box just to screw with you. 616 00:40:27,954 --> 00:40:31,287 - Hi. - Hi. How are you? 617 00:40:32,425 --> 00:40:35,087 So how was it? Aruba. 618 00:40:35,294 --> 00:40:38,593 Ms. Pascal? Can I just ask you a question about this receipt? 619 00:40:38,798 --> 00:40:41,665 - It was fantastic. - Just wondering if this nine is a seven. 620 00:40:41,868 --> 00:40:45,099 - And what did you do? - I got a beautiful tan. 621 00:40:45,738 --> 00:40:49,265 - I'm just gonna guess it's a seven. - I mean, I feel stress-free. 622 00:40:54,547 --> 00:40:56,242 Do you need help with that? 623 00:40:57,450 --> 00:40:59,475 - Walk to heaven. I see the president. 624 00:40:59,686 --> 00:41:01,847 - It's the taxman. Hello, Mr. Taxman. - Yeah. 625 00:41:02,055 --> 00:41:03,522 - You can call me Harold. - Okay. 626 00:41:03,723 --> 00:41:05,350 - How the numbers going? - Pretty good. 627 00:41:05,558 --> 00:41:07,321 - Gonna find that 22 percent? - 22 percent? 628 00:41:07,527 --> 00:41:10,018 Twenty-two, 11 times 2. It's prime numbers. 629 00:41:10,229 --> 00:41:13,221 - You gonna tax the bathroom? - No, I'm not gonna tax the bathroom. 630 00:41:13,433 --> 00:41:15,697 - Could I use the bathroom, then? - Go for it. 631 00:41:15,902 --> 00:41:17,597 Okay. I wanna use the bathroom. Bye now. 632 00:41:17,804 --> 00:41:18,930 Bye-bye. 633 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:02,245 Well, good night. 634 00:42:03,382 --> 00:42:05,043 You want a cookie? 635 00:42:05,685 --> 00:42:06,811 Oh, no. 636 00:42:07,019 --> 00:42:11,115 Come on. They're warm and gooey. They're fresh out of the oven. 637 00:42:11,858 --> 00:42:13,655 No, I don't like cookies. 638 00:42:15,695 --> 00:42:17,322 You don't like cookies? 639 00:42:20,433 --> 00:42:23,527 - What's wrong with you? - I don't know. 640 00:42:23,736 --> 00:42:26,671 - Everybody likes cookies. - No, I know. 641 00:42:26,873 --> 00:42:30,775 I mean, after a really awful, no-good day... 642 00:42:30,977 --> 00:42:33,878 ...didn't your mama ever make you milk and cookies? 643 00:42:35,047 --> 00:42:38,539 No. My mother didn't bake. 644 00:42:38,751 --> 00:42:41,879 The only cookies I ever had were store-bought. 645 00:42:44,423 --> 00:42:47,256 Okay. Sit down. 646 00:42:47,894 --> 00:42:50,021 - No, I'm... - No. 647 00:42:50,496 --> 00:42:52,293 Sit down. 648 00:42:56,169 --> 00:42:57,363 Now... 649 00:42:58,371 --> 00:43:00,396 ...eat a cookie. 650 00:43:00,606 --> 00:43:01,971 I really can't. 651 00:43:02,175 --> 00:43:05,508 Mr. Crick, it was a really awful day. 652 00:43:06,412 --> 00:43:09,245 I know, I made sure of it. 653 00:43:09,749 --> 00:43:11,444 So pick up the cookie... 654 00:43:11,651 --> 00:43:13,778 ...dip it in the milk... 655 00:43:13,986 --> 00:43:15,783 ...and eat it. 656 00:43:40,346 --> 00:43:42,678 That's a really, really good cookie. 657 00:43:50,990 --> 00:43:52,787 So when did you decide to become a baker? 658 00:43:54,060 --> 00:43:56,961 - In college. - Oh, like a cooking college? 659 00:43:58,097 --> 00:44:01,225 I went to Harvard Law actually. 660 00:44:01,801 --> 00:44:06,932 - Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed it was... - No. No, it's fine. I didn't finish. 661 00:44:07,707 --> 00:44:09,675 - Did something happen? - No. 662 00:44:11,077 --> 00:44:15,070 I was barely accepted. I mean, really barely. 663 00:44:15,281 --> 00:44:18,409 The only reason they let me come was because of my essay. 664 00:44:18,618 --> 00:44:22,611 How I was gonna make the world a better place with my degree. 665 00:44:23,389 --> 00:44:28,122 Anyway, we would have to participate in these study sessions... 666 00:44:28,327 --> 00:44:31,319 ...my classmates and I, sometimes all night long. 667 00:44:31,530 --> 00:44:35,261 And so I'd bake so no one would go hungry while we worked. 668 00:44:35,468 --> 00:44:38,437 Sometimes I would bake all afternoon in the kitchen in the dorm... 669 00:44:38,638 --> 00:44:42,665 ...and then I'd bring my little treats to the study groups... 670 00:44:42,875 --> 00:44:44,502 ...and people loved them. 671 00:44:44,710 --> 00:44:45,972 Eat. 672 00:44:46,178 --> 00:44:50,444 I made oatmeal cookies, peanut-butter bars... 673 00:44:50,917 --> 00:44:54,353 ...dark-chocolate macadamia-nut wedges. 674 00:44:54,553 --> 00:44:56,885 And everyone would eat and stay happy... 675 00:44:57,089 --> 00:44:59,250 ...and study harder and do better on the tests. 676 00:44:59,458 --> 00:45:02,154 More and more people started coming to the study groups... 677 00:45:02,361 --> 00:45:04,192 ...and I'd bring more snacks. 678 00:45:04,397 --> 00:45:06,922 I was always looking for better and better recipes... 679 00:45:07,133 --> 00:45:12,662 ...until soon it was ricotta cheese and apricot croissants... 680 00:45:13,539 --> 00:45:16,064 ...and mocha bars with an almond glaze... 681 00:45:16,275 --> 00:45:20,905 ...and lemon chiffon cake with zesty peach icing. 682 00:45:22,014 --> 00:45:26,041 And at the end of the semester I had 27 study partners... 683 00:45:26,252 --> 00:45:29,688 ...eight Mead journals filled with recipes... 684 00:45:29,889 --> 00:45:31,413 ...and a D average. 685 00:45:32,358 --> 00:45:34,155 So I dropped out. 686 00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:37,285 I figured if I was gonna make the world a better place... 687 00:45:37,496 --> 00:45:39,657 ...I would do it with cookies. 688 00:45:44,503 --> 00:45:45,936 You like them? 689 00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:48,429 I do. 690 00:45:49,508 --> 00:45:51,305 I'm glad. 691 00:45:52,378 --> 00:45:54,437 Thank you for forcing me to eat them. 692 00:45:55,214 --> 00:45:56,977 You're welcome. 693 00:46:02,254 --> 00:46:05,018 I should go. Oh, thank you. For the cookies, I mean. 694 00:46:05,224 --> 00:46:06,987 - Why don't you take them home? - Oh, no. 695 00:46:07,193 --> 00:46:09,354 - Oh, come on. - No, really, please. 696 00:46:09,562 --> 00:46:12,588 - No, really, please. - No, no, no. Really, please. 697 00:46:12,798 --> 00:46:14,857 I would like to, but I can't. 698 00:46:15,534 --> 00:46:17,058 - You can't? - No, no, I mean... 699 00:46:17,269 --> 00:46:19,965 Because, see, it constitutes a gift. 700 00:46:20,306 --> 00:46:22,866 Actually I shouldn't have even had those other ones, so... 701 00:46:23,075 --> 00:46:25,270 Okay. Well, I'm not gonna tell anyone. 702 00:46:25,478 --> 00:46:28,106 - No. I know, but if you did... - Well, I'm not going to. 703 00:46:28,314 --> 00:46:29,406 I know, but if you did... 704 00:46:29,615 --> 00:46:32,675 - What, you think I'm gonna call the...? - No, no. I'll purchase them. 705 00:46:32,885 --> 00:46:36,013 I'm happy to purchase them. How's that? 706 00:46:38,057 --> 00:46:40,457 And then there are no issues. 707 00:46:42,561 --> 00:46:44,791 - What? - No. 708 00:46:44,997 --> 00:46:47,056 - Please. - Just... 709 00:46:47,266 --> 00:46:49,097 - Why don't I just...? - Go home. 710 00:46:49,301 --> 00:46:50,598 Really, it's not a big deal. 711 00:46:50,803 --> 00:46:52,930 Go home. 712 00:46:54,607 --> 00:46:55,972 Okay. 713 00:47:00,579 --> 00:47:01,876 Did you? 714 00:47:03,482 --> 00:47:06,474 You baked those cookies for me, didn't you? 715 00:47:10,122 --> 00:47:13,319 You were just trying to be nice and I totally blew it. 716 00:47:17,430 --> 00:47:20,661 This may sound like gibberish to you... 717 00:47:23,169 --> 00:47:25,660 ...but I think I'm in a tragedy. 718 00:47:56,268 --> 00:48:00,102 Professor Hilbert, I've totally failed at the comedy-tragedy thing. 719 00:48:00,306 --> 00:48:02,467 In fact, I think she likes me even less. 720 00:48:02,675 --> 00:48:04,802 - I know, it's great. - What do you mean? 721 00:48:05,711 --> 00:48:07,975 You've proved something else entirely. 722 00:48:08,180 --> 00:48:11,843 The voice seems to be dependent on actions you take. 723 00:48:12,952 --> 00:48:15,420 You reset your watch, it says you reset your watch. 724 00:48:15,621 --> 00:48:17,418 You ride a bus, it says you ride the bus. 725 00:48:17,623 --> 00:48:19,989 You brush your teeth, it says you brush your teeth. 726 00:48:20,192 --> 00:48:24,219 It may be that you yourself are perpetuating the story. 727 00:48:24,430 --> 00:48:28,093 - So I suggest we try something else. - Like what? 728 00:48:28,300 --> 00:48:31,531 - Try nothing. Nothing. - What about Ms. Pascal? 729 00:48:31,737 --> 00:48:32,931 - Forget her. - Forget her? 730 00:48:33,139 --> 00:48:35,107 Other than numbers, she's all I think about. 731 00:48:35,307 --> 00:48:38,037 Harold, if you wanna stay alive, you'll try something else. 732 00:48:38,244 --> 00:48:41,577 - That something being nothing? - Nothing, exactly. 733 00:48:41,780 --> 00:48:44,476 - Nothing? - Let me explain this again. 734 00:48:44,683 --> 00:48:48,312 Some plots are moved forward by external events and crises. 735 00:48:48,521 --> 00:48:51,217 Others are moved forward by the characters themselves. 736 00:48:51,423 --> 00:48:53,618 If I go through that door, the plot continues. 737 00:48:53,826 --> 00:48:56,090 The story of me through the door. If I stay here... 738 00:48:56,295 --> 00:48:58,729 ...the plot can't move forward, the story ends. 739 00:48:58,931 --> 00:49:01,729 Also if I stay here, I'm late. 740 00:49:04,069 --> 00:49:06,469 - Don't do anything tomorrow. - Nothing? 741 00:49:06,672 --> 00:49:11,132 Stay home. Don't answer the phone, open the door, brush your teeth. 742 00:49:11,343 --> 00:49:12,742 - What about work? - Call them. 743 00:49:12,945 --> 00:49:15,175 - Tell them you're not coming. - Don't go to work? 744 00:49:15,381 --> 00:49:17,508 Don't do anything that may move the plot forward. 745 00:49:17,716 --> 00:49:19,741 Instead, let's see if the plot finds you. 746 00:49:20,386 --> 00:49:22,980 Marshall, you're not kicking. 747 00:49:26,358 --> 00:49:29,850 - Certain that these geese have never known any home but this one: 748 00:49:30,062 --> 00:49:32,053 A small lake in Eastern Poland. 749 00:49:32,765 --> 00:49:35,859 Pollution from a nearby factory is slowly killing... 750 00:49:36,068 --> 00:49:39,560 ... the small fish and insects on which these creatures feed. 751 00:49:39,772 --> 00:49:45,005 All attempts to move the birds to similar bodies of water have failed. 752 00:49:45,211 --> 00:49:49,045 Perhaps it is the familiarity alone that keeps them here. 753 00:49:49,248 --> 00:49:53,241 Or perhaps it's an unwillingness to lose the collective memory... 754 00:49:53,452 --> 00:49:56,444 ... of the once-beautiful hills that surround the lake. 755 00:49:56,655 --> 00:50:00,318 And it takes only seconds for the fiddler crabs to realize... 756 00:50:00,526 --> 00:50:02,858 ... that the wader they might once have feared... 757 00:50:03,062 --> 00:50:05,553 ... has now become their prey. 758 00:50:06,899 --> 00:50:09,766 The wounded bird knows its fate. 759 00:50:10,736 --> 00:50:12,863 Its desperate attempts to escape... 760 00:50:13,072 --> 00:50:16,530 ... only underscore the hopelessness of its plight. 761 00:50:19,411 --> 00:50:24,007 The primates' sad, soulful eyes will be the first to be plucked out... 762 00:50:24,216 --> 00:50:27,014 ... then sold to cosmetic companies around the world... 763 00:50:27,219 --> 00:50:31,212 ... for use in the testing of mascara and artificial tears. 764 00:50:31,423 --> 00:50:35,291 Next, the monkeys' fur will be stripped away from their limp corpses... 765 00:50:35,494 --> 00:50:38,861 ... and sewn together to form pillows and comforters. 766 00:50:39,064 --> 00:50:41,555 Mr. Zebra thought he was gonna take a nice drink. 767 00:50:41,767 --> 00:50:43,394 But you never know who's gonna eat... 768 00:50:43,602 --> 00:50:45,866 ... when you're dining at Mother Nature's restaurant. 769 00:50:46,071 --> 00:50:48,767 That's gotta hurt. What does this bald eagle wanna serve... 770 00:50:48,974 --> 00:50:50,999 ... with some kidney beans and a fine Chianti? 771 00:50:51,210 --> 00:50:55,203 It's an eel. And again: 772 00:50:55,414 --> 00:50:57,678 Looks like old Mr. Crocodile wanted some antelope... 773 00:50:57,883 --> 00:50:59,908 ... to clear that salty zebra from his palate. 774 00:51:00,119 --> 00:51:03,486 Here's a struggle betting gentlemen have been known to put money on. 775 00:51:03,689 --> 00:51:07,420 When a mongoose encounters a cobra it's hard to know who's gonna win. 776 00:51:07,626 --> 00:51:09,787 But this time it looks like it's... the cobra... 777 00:51:09,995 --> 00:51:12,088 ... who's putting the squeeze on the mongoose! 778 00:51:12,298 --> 00:51:14,528 But don't cash in your chips just yet, gentlemen... 779 00:51:14,733 --> 00:51:17,827 ... because now it's the mongoose who holds the winning card! 780 00:51:44,730 --> 00:51:46,960 Hey! Hey! 781 00:51:47,733 --> 00:51:49,633 Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?! 782 00:51:49,835 --> 00:51:51,803 - Holy crapping hell. - What the hell is that? 783 00:51:52,004 --> 00:51:54,199 - Stop the crane. Stop it. - Stop the crane! 784 00:51:54,406 --> 00:51:56,374 - Hey. - Hey, what are you doing? 785 00:51:56,575 --> 00:51:58,236 Us? What are you doing? 786 00:51:58,444 --> 00:52:00,105 I was watching TV. 787 00:52:00,312 --> 00:52:03,770 - Well, we're demolishing this place. - Are you nuts? I live here! 788 00:52:03,982 --> 00:52:06,712 - Is that a TV? - Yes, that's a TV! It's my TV! 789 00:52:06,919 --> 00:52:09,854 - Well, what's your TV doing in there? - I said I live here, stupid! 790 00:52:10,055 --> 00:52:11,818 It's where I keep my stuff! 791 00:52:12,024 --> 00:52:15,323 My name's on the goddamn buzzer! Harold Crick. 792 00:52:15,527 --> 00:52:18,496 Apartment 2-B, 1893 McCarthy! 793 00:52:19,465 --> 00:52:21,933 - Did you say 1893? - Yes! 794 00:52:28,540 --> 00:52:30,508 I'm not exactly sure it was plot. 795 00:52:30,709 --> 00:52:33,735 I was hoping you'd say it was just a really bad coincidence. 796 00:52:33,946 --> 00:52:37,382 Meeting an insurance agent the day your policy runs out is coincidence. 797 00:52:37,583 --> 00:52:41,280 Getting a letter from the emperor saying that he's visiting is plot. 798 00:52:41,487 --> 00:52:44,650 Having your apartment eaten by a wrecking ball... 799 00:52:44,857 --> 00:52:46,484 ...is something else entirely. 800 00:52:48,127 --> 00:52:51,585 Harold, you don't control your fate. 801 00:52:52,331 --> 00:52:54,765 - I know. - You do? 802 00:52:56,335 --> 00:52:58,064 Okay. Come with me. 803 00:52:58,270 --> 00:53:01,171 Hey, Tom, can you leave that till tomorrow? 804 00:53:01,740 --> 00:53:04,868 You were right. This narrator might very well kill you... 805 00:53:05,077 --> 00:53:09,173 ...so I humbly suggest that you just forget all this and go live your life. 806 00:53:09,982 --> 00:53:14,146 Go live my life? I am living my life. I'd like to continue to live my life. 807 00:53:14,987 --> 00:53:19,321 I know. Of course. I mean all of it. However long you have left. 808 00:53:19,525 --> 00:53:22,961 You know, I mean, Howard, you could use it to have an adventure. 809 00:53:23,162 --> 00:53:27,690 You know, invent something, or just finish reading Crime and Punishment. 810 00:53:27,900 --> 00:53:31,563 Hell, Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted. 811 00:53:32,204 --> 00:53:34,195 What's wrong with you? 812 00:53:34,406 --> 00:53:37,534 Hey. I don't wanna eat nothing but pancakes. I wanna live. 813 00:53:37,743 --> 00:53:40,735 Who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living... 814 00:53:40,946 --> 00:53:41,913 ...chooses pancakes? 815 00:53:42,114 --> 00:53:45,015 Harold, if you'd pause to think I believe you'd realize... 816 00:53:45,217 --> 00:53:47,412 ...that that answer's inextricably contingent... 817 00:53:47,619 --> 00:53:49,814 ...upon the type of life being led... 818 00:53:51,290 --> 00:53:54,384 ...and, of course, the quality of the pancakes. 819 00:53:56,261 --> 00:53:58,354 You don't understand what I'm saying. 820 00:53:59,465 --> 00:54:00,489 Yes, I do. 821 00:54:01,733 --> 00:54:05,396 But you have to understand that this isn't a philosophy or a literary theory... 822 00:54:05,604 --> 00:54:07,401 ...or a story to me. It's my life. 823 00:54:07,606 --> 00:54:12,305 Absolutely. So just go make it the one you've always wanted. 824 00:54:19,918 --> 00:54:21,749 I never expected that they would have... 825 00:54:21,954 --> 00:54:23,785 - Do you want one, two? - I want one. 826 00:54:23,989 --> 00:54:26,287 - One? - I want two. 827 00:54:37,302 --> 00:54:39,031 All right, so here's your room. 828 00:54:39,238 --> 00:54:41,832 Or as I like to call it, Sleep Pod Two. 829 00:54:42,441 --> 00:54:43,738 Thanks, Dave. 830 00:54:43,942 --> 00:54:47,434 No problem, dude. It'll be nice having you around. 831 00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:51,608 - How long you planning on staying? - I'm not sure. 832 00:54:57,556 --> 00:55:02,050 Dave, can I pose a somewhat abstract, purely hypothetical question? 833 00:55:02,528 --> 00:55:03,995 Sure. 834 00:55:04,696 --> 00:55:06,857 If you knew you were gonna die... 835 00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:10,031 ...possibly soon... 836 00:55:10,435 --> 00:55:12,369 ...what would you do? 837 00:55:14,206 --> 00:55:16,003 Wow, I don't know. 838 00:55:16,842 --> 00:55:18,810 Am I the richest man in the world? 839 00:55:19,011 --> 00:55:21,206 No, you're you. 840 00:55:22,848 --> 00:55:24,145 Do I have a superpower? 841 00:55:25,284 --> 00:55:26,581 No, you're you. 842 00:55:26,785 --> 00:55:30,585 I know I'm me, but do I have a superpower? 843 00:55:31,390 --> 00:55:33,119 No, why would you have a superpower? 844 00:55:33,325 --> 00:55:35,691 I don't know, you said it was hypothetical. 845 00:55:36,061 --> 00:55:39,121 Fine. Yes. You're really good at math. 846 00:55:39,531 --> 00:55:41,499 That's not a power, that's a skill. 847 00:55:42,134 --> 00:55:44,534 Okay, you're good at math and you're invisible. 848 00:55:44,736 --> 00:55:47,000 - And you know you're gonna die. - Okay, okay. 849 00:55:48,307 --> 00:55:50,275 That's easy, I'd go to space camp. 850 00:55:51,243 --> 00:55:52,835 Space camp? 851 00:55:53,045 --> 00:55:57,982 Yeah, it's in Alabama. It's where kids go to learn how to become astronauts. 852 00:55:58,750 --> 00:56:00,945 I've always wanted to go since I was 9. 853 00:56:01,887 --> 00:56:04,651 You're invisible and you'd go to space camp? 854 00:56:04,856 --> 00:56:07,381 I didn't pick invisible, you picked invisible. 855 00:56:08,226 --> 00:56:09,955 Aren't you too old to go to space camp? 856 00:56:11,463 --> 00:56:13,954 You're never too old to go to space camp, dude. 857 00:56:45,564 --> 00:56:46,531 Space camp. 858 00:56:47,899 --> 00:56:50,459 One hundred and twenty-two guitars. 859 00:56:50,669 --> 00:56:53,137 Seven hundred and thirty-two strings. 860 00:56:53,338 --> 00:56:55,465 Two hundred and fifty-seven pickups. 861 00:56:55,674 --> 00:56:59,166 One hundred and eighty-nine volume knobs. 862 00:56:59,945 --> 00:57:05,247 Here Harold stood, face to face with his oldest desire. 863 00:57:05,784 --> 00:57:08,776 And stand is almost all Harold did. 864 00:57:09,254 --> 00:57:12,280 It wasn't just about finding a guitar. 865 00:57:12,491 --> 00:57:17,690 It was about finding a guitar that said something about Harold. 866 00:57:17,896 --> 00:57:19,796 Unfortunately, this guitar said: 867 00:57:19,998 --> 00:57:24,367 "When I get back to Georgia, that woman gonna feel my pain. " 868 00:57:25,871 --> 00:57:27,998 This one said something along the lines of: 869 00:57:28,206 --> 00:57:31,175 "Why, yes, these pants are Lycra." 870 00:57:31,810 --> 00:57:34,472 These said, "I'm very sensitive, very caring... 871 00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,410 ... and I have absolutely no idea how to play the guitar. " 872 00:57:42,387 --> 00:57:46,187 "I'm compensating for something. Guess what. " 873 00:57:50,996 --> 00:57:52,964 And then Harold saw it. 874 00:57:53,865 --> 00:57:57,164 A damaged and terribly mistreated sea-foam-green Fender... 875 00:57:57,369 --> 00:57:58,996 ... staring back at him. 876 00:57:59,204 --> 00:58:00,933 Despite its obvious maladies... 877 00:58:01,139 --> 00:58:04,404 ... the guitar spoke with conviction and swagger. 878 00:58:04,609 --> 00:58:09,239 In fact, it looked Harold directly in the eye and very plainly stated: 879 00:58:09,448 --> 00:58:12,144 "I rock." 880 00:58:13,018 --> 00:58:14,315 Just breathe. Watch it! 881 00:58:14,519 --> 00:58:18,421 We've got a 21 -year-old male with a gunshot wound to the chest. 882 00:58:19,257 --> 00:58:20,519 There you go. 883 00:58:20,892 --> 00:58:25,329 Shot in a gang fight? Harold's not in a gang. 884 00:58:25,864 --> 00:58:27,798 Man in tweed? 885 00:58:30,001 --> 00:58:33,129 There's nothing wrong with him, he just likes looking at sick people. 886 00:58:33,338 --> 00:58:35,533 Oddly spoken with disdain. 887 00:58:35,807 --> 00:58:37,240 This isn't working. 888 00:58:37,442 --> 00:58:39,876 Well... I don't even know why we're here. 889 00:58:40,078 --> 00:58:41,773 I don't think we're supposed to be here. 890 00:58:41,980 --> 00:58:45,211 - You said I needed visual stimuli. - I meant a museum. 891 00:58:45,417 --> 00:58:47,578 I don't need a goddamn museum. I need the infirm. 892 00:58:47,786 --> 00:58:49,777 You are the infirm. 893 00:58:50,288 --> 00:58:52,813 You're right. The problem is these people aren't dead... 894 00:58:53,024 --> 00:58:54,992 ...they're just severely injured. 895 00:58:55,660 --> 00:58:58,629 Excuse me, where are the dying people? 896 00:59:00,031 --> 00:59:02,864 Most of these people are sick or injured... 897 00:59:03,068 --> 00:59:04,968 Which is great, don't get me wrong. 898 00:59:05,170 --> 00:59:07,832 - But they're gonna get better, which doesn't really help me. 899 00:59:08,039 --> 00:59:11,372 Is there any way to see the people who aren't going to get better? 900 00:59:11,576 --> 00:59:12,543 Excuse me? 901 00:59:12,744 --> 00:59:15,941 I'd like to see, if at all possible, the ones who aren't gonna make it. 902 00:59:16,148 --> 00:59:17,775 You know, the dead-for-sure ones. 903 00:59:17,983 --> 00:59:20,679 I'm sorry, are you suffering from anything? 904 00:59:23,155 --> 00:59:25,350 Just writer's block. 905 00:59:33,131 --> 00:59:35,190 With every awkward strum... 906 00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:38,858 ... Harold Crick became stronger in who he was... 907 00:59:39,070 --> 00:59:42,801 ... what he wanted, and why he was alive. 908 00:59:44,042 --> 00:59:46,909 Harold no longer ate alone. 909 00:59:47,145 --> 00:59:50,342 He no longer counted brushstrokes. 910 00:59:50,549 --> 00:59:52,949 - Harold, I'll see you. - He no longer wore neckties. 911 00:59:53,151 --> 00:59:54,118 Bye, Dave. 912 00:59:54,386 --> 00:59:59,380 And, therefore, no longer worried about the time it took to put them on. 913 01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:05,587 He no longer counted his steps to the bus stop. 914 01:00:08,066 --> 01:00:13,368 Instead, Harold did that which had terrified him before. 915 01:00:13,572 --> 01:00:16,735 That which had eluded him Monday through Friday... 916 01:00:16,942 --> 01:00:20,105 ... for so many years. 917 01:00:20,312 --> 01:00:22,644 That which the unrelenting lyrics... 918 01:00:22,848 --> 01:00:27,080 ... of numerous punk-rock songs told him to do: 919 01:00:27,519 --> 01:00:30,920 Harold Crick lived his life. 920 01:00:40,131 --> 01:00:42,929 But despite resuscitating his life... 921 01:00:43,134 --> 01:00:47,161 ... reviving his hope, and instilling a few wicked calluses... 922 01:00:47,372 --> 01:00:50,500 ... Harold's journey was still incomplete. 923 01:00:51,409 --> 01:00:57,348 And Harold's wristwatch wasn't about to let him miss another opportunity. 924 01:01:06,157 --> 01:01:07,852 Ms. Pascal? 925 01:01:08,059 --> 01:01:10,789 - Ms. Pascal? - Mr. Crick. 926 01:01:11,496 --> 01:01:13,987 - Hi. - Hi. 927 01:01:14,432 --> 01:01:16,992 - Hi. - Hi. 928 01:01:17,202 --> 01:01:19,170 I'm glad I caught you. 929 01:01:20,005 --> 01:01:21,302 Oh, yeah? Why? 930 01:01:22,607 --> 01:01:25,974 Because I wanted to bring these to you. 931 01:01:27,746 --> 01:01:29,941 - Really? - Yeah. 932 01:01:30,148 --> 01:01:34,517 So you can't accept gifts, but you can give them? 933 01:01:35,453 --> 01:01:36,545 - Listen... - I don't know. 934 01:01:36,755 --> 01:01:39,189 That seems a little inconsistent, doesn't it, Mr. Crick? 935 01:01:39,391 --> 01:01:40,619 Very inconsistent, yes. 936 01:01:40,825 --> 01:01:43,157 I'll tell you what. I'll purchase them. 937 01:01:43,361 --> 01:01:44,828 - No. - No, no, no, really... 938 01:01:45,030 --> 01:01:47,396 ...I'd like to purchase them. What are they? 939 01:01:48,366 --> 01:01:49,765 Flours. 940 01:01:50,435 --> 01:01:53,871 - What? - I brought you flours. 941 01:02:04,749 --> 01:02:08,742 And you carried them all the way here? 942 01:02:10,388 --> 01:02:15,519 Ms. Pascal, I've been odd and I know that I've been odd. 943 01:02:16,561 --> 01:02:19,359 And I want you. 944 01:02:19,898 --> 01:02:22,366 - What? - There's so many reasons. 945 01:02:22,567 --> 01:02:25,730 There's so many influences in my life that are telling me... 946 01:02:25,937 --> 01:02:27,495 ...at times quite literally... 947 01:02:27,706 --> 01:02:30,504 ...that I should come here and bring you these... 948 01:02:31,576 --> 01:02:33,874 ...but I'm doing this because I want you. 949 01:02:34,980 --> 01:02:36,845 You want me? 950 01:02:37,349 --> 01:02:39,874 In no uncertain terms. 951 01:02:42,687 --> 01:02:47,920 Isn't there some very clear and established... 952 01:02:48,126 --> 01:02:51,755 ...rule about fraternization? 953 01:02:51,963 --> 01:02:54,158 - Auditor-auditee protocol? - Yeah. 954 01:02:54,366 --> 01:02:56,630 Yeah, but I don't care. 955 01:02:57,202 --> 01:03:00,365 - Why? - Because I want you. 956 01:03:05,910 --> 01:03:06,877 Well... 957 01:03:09,147 --> 01:03:12,048 ...do you mind carrying those a little bit further? 958 01:03:12,884 --> 01:03:14,215 Okay. 959 01:03:16,988 --> 01:03:18,387 Okay. 960 01:03:32,237 --> 01:03:34,034 Did you make a key? 961 01:03:34,239 --> 01:03:36,400 No, I just committed it to memory. 962 01:03:36,608 --> 01:03:40,669 - The blue, that's barley flour. - What's that one? 963 01:03:40,879 --> 01:03:42,244 - The orange? - Yeah. 964 01:03:42,447 --> 01:03:44,039 I forget. 965 01:03:44,649 --> 01:03:45,616 Right here. 966 01:03:49,254 --> 01:03:50,949 Do you wanna come up? 967 01:03:53,425 --> 01:03:55,950 - To your place? - Yeah. 968 01:03:57,562 --> 01:03:59,496 I guess I could. 969 01:03:59,697 --> 01:04:03,633 Wasn't that the idea with the flours and everything? 970 01:04:05,136 --> 01:04:09,300 Honestly, I only figured it out up to "I want you." 971 01:04:10,308 --> 01:04:12,299 Listen, Mr. Crick... 972 01:04:13,278 --> 01:04:14,768 ...I think I like you. 973 01:04:15,713 --> 01:04:21,049 And before I do anything rash, I'd like to make sure. 974 01:04:22,554 --> 01:04:24,613 I'd like you to come up. 975 01:04:26,157 --> 01:04:27,988 I'd be honored. 976 01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:30,559 Great. 977 01:04:33,898 --> 01:04:35,331 Yeah, he was nuts though. 978 01:04:35,533 --> 01:04:39,230 He got caught when he tried to get the contract notarized. 979 01:04:39,437 --> 01:04:42,201 No. No. 980 01:04:46,778 --> 01:04:48,075 Was it good? 981 01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:49,647 Thank you. 982 01:04:49,848 --> 01:04:52,316 - You're welcome. - Can I help you? 983 01:04:52,517 --> 01:04:55,714 No, no, I'm gonna put them in the sink. Go sit down on the couch. 984 01:05:05,463 --> 01:05:06,760 So do you play the guitar? 985 01:05:07,232 --> 01:05:09,723 - What? - Do you play the guitar? 986 01:05:10,401 --> 01:05:14,667 Terribly. Someone traded me that for a wedding cake. 987 01:05:14,873 --> 01:05:18,502 Does that mean I have to claim it on my taxes now? 988 01:05:18,710 --> 01:05:23,170 - No. I'll leave it out of my final report. - Oh, thanks. 989 01:05:24,149 --> 01:05:25,480 Do you play? 990 01:05:25,683 --> 01:05:27,173 Not really. I only know one song. 991 01:05:27,385 --> 01:05:28,784 Oh, play it. 992 01:05:28,987 --> 01:05:31,217 No, I don't know it that well, actually. 993 01:05:31,422 --> 01:05:34,289 No, come on. I promise I'm not gonna laugh at you. Play it. 994 01:05:34,492 --> 01:05:36,687 No, no, no. Maybe some other time. 995 01:05:36,895 --> 01:05:38,419 All right. 996 01:08:04,008 --> 01:08:05,270 Ms. Pascal? 997 01:08:05,777 --> 01:08:08,974 - I... - I know. 998 01:08:09,180 --> 01:08:11,148 I want you too. 999 01:08:31,069 --> 01:08:36,701 Harold's life was filled with moments both significant and mundane. 1000 01:08:36,908 --> 01:08:42,175 But to Harold, those moments remained entirely indistinguishable... 1001 01:08:42,380 --> 01:08:44,075 ... except for this. 1002 01:08:44,749 --> 01:08:49,618 As Ana let out a soft sigh and repositioned herself against him... 1003 01:08:49,821 --> 01:08:51,948 ... Harold knew somewhere in his heart... 1004 01:08:52,156 --> 01:08:54,954 ... that this was one of the significant moments. 1005 01:08:55,159 --> 01:08:59,027 He knew she was falling in love with him. 1006 01:09:01,532 --> 01:09:03,397 Professor Hilbert. It's a comedy. 1007 01:09:03,601 --> 01:09:05,330 - What? - A comedy. 1008 01:09:06,003 --> 01:09:09,996 The woman. The one who hates me. Ana Pascal? 1009 01:09:10,208 --> 01:09:12,301 - Last night... - Yeah? 1010 01:09:12,510 --> 01:09:14,137 She's falling in love with me. 1011 01:09:14,345 --> 01:09:16,108 - She is? - It's like a miracle. 1012 01:09:16,314 --> 01:09:18,646 The voice confirmed it in the middle of the night. 1013 01:09:18,850 --> 01:09:20,249 Well, that's wonderful, Harold. 1014 01:09:20,451 --> 01:09:23,477 I mean, it completely nullifies my list, but that's fantastic. 1015 01:09:23,688 --> 01:09:24,780 What list? 1016 01:09:24,989 --> 01:09:27,184 These are seven living authors whose prior work... 1017 01:09:27,392 --> 01:09:30,088 ...would seem to make them candidates to write your story... 1018 01:09:30,294 --> 01:09:32,990 ...based on the criteria you and I previously determined. 1019 01:09:33,197 --> 01:09:37,395 If your narrator is alive, she's on this list. 1020 01:09:38,136 --> 01:09:41,037 But it appears the list is of little use to you now. 1021 01:09:41,239 --> 01:09:43,207 Now that you're gonna live happily ever after. 1022 01:09:43,408 --> 01:09:47,970 Oh, goodie. This woman, Karen Eiffel, she's one of my favorite authors. 1023 01:09:48,179 --> 01:09:49,510 - Hi. - Hi. 1024 01:09:49,714 --> 01:09:51,807 Beautiful tragedies. Just beautiful. Anyway... 1025 01:09:52,016 --> 01:09:56,544 ...let me quickly copy this list for you, just in case. 1026 01:09:58,256 --> 01:10:00,656 Sociopathic author. 1027 01:10:00,858 --> 01:10:03,520 - I just wanted to thank you. - Of course. 1028 01:10:03,995 --> 01:10:07,931 Listen, please, you must tell me if you hear the voice of the narrator again... 1029 01:10:08,132 --> 01:10:09,599 ...just for my own edification. 1030 01:10:09,801 --> 01:10:11,291 I will. 1031 01:10:13,938 --> 01:10:16,429 Well, it's called Death and Taxes. 1032 01:10:16,641 --> 01:10:19,371 Wow. You know, I'm from Texas. 1033 01:10:19,577 --> 01:10:23,138 No. Not "Texas." Taxes. 1034 01:10:23,347 --> 01:10:25,542 Death and Taxes. Death and Taxes. 1035 01:10:25,750 --> 01:10:27,684 Taxes. Like the Benjamin Franklin quote. 1036 01:10:27,885 --> 01:10:29,750 Precisely so. 1037 01:10:29,954 --> 01:10:31,888 This lady's a package, I'm telling you. 1038 01:10:32,089 --> 01:10:35,581 Tell us, what is this next book going to be about? 1039 01:10:35,793 --> 01:10:38,261 It's about interconnectivity. 1040 01:10:39,564 --> 01:10:42,226 The looming certainty of death. 1041 01:10:42,433 --> 01:10:44,060 Men's fashion accessories. 1042 01:10:44,268 --> 01:10:46,168 - Oh, my God, that's her. - What? 1043 01:10:46,370 --> 01:10:49,430 - That's the voice. She's the narrator. - No, that can't be right. 1044 01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:51,301 No, I'm positive. 1045 01:10:51,509 --> 01:10:53,909 Harold, this interview's a decade old. 1046 01:10:54,111 --> 01:10:56,773 I didn't think anyone actually wore cuff links anymore. 1047 01:10:56,981 --> 01:10:58,676 That's her. 1048 01:10:58,883 --> 01:11:01,613 - She's British? - She's her. 1049 01:11:01,819 --> 01:11:04,549 - Karen Eiffel? - Professor Hilbert, I know that voice. 1050 01:11:05,957 --> 01:11:06,924 Crap. 1051 01:11:07,725 --> 01:11:10,023 - What's wrong? - First of all, she wasn't on my list. 1052 01:11:10,228 --> 01:11:14,892 I figured you would have mentioned the accent and she doesn't... 1053 01:11:16,234 --> 01:11:17,201 She kills people. 1054 01:11:18,436 --> 01:11:20,870 - What? - In every book she... 1055 01:11:21,072 --> 01:11:23,632 The books are all about... They die. She kills them. 1056 01:11:23,841 --> 01:11:26,776 - Kills who? - The heroes. 1057 01:11:26,978 --> 01:11:29,378 Four Black Veils. What is that? 1058 01:11:29,580 --> 01:11:32,208 It's about a girl who loses several members of her family... 1059 01:11:32,416 --> 01:11:34,008 ... in quick succession. 1060 01:11:34,218 --> 01:11:35,446 Where is she? 1061 01:11:35,653 --> 01:11:40,681 She's untraceable. Believe me, I used to teach a class on her. 1062 01:11:40,892 --> 01:11:44,157 I've written her letters. I mean, she's a hermit, she's a recluse. 1063 01:11:44,362 --> 01:11:47,627 Here. Here's the last book she wrote. 1064 01:11:47,832 --> 01:11:50,892 Look at the copyright. She hasn't published anything in 10 years. 1065 01:11:51,102 --> 01:11:53,434 She had knowledge of the city. Does she live here? 1066 01:11:53,638 --> 01:11:55,105 She used to, yes, but I mean... 1067 01:11:55,306 --> 01:11:58,275 Banneker Press. 2267 Wallace Street. Is that her publisher? 1068 01:11:58,476 --> 01:12:01,639 You're not listening. I said even if you find her she's not gonna... 1069 01:12:01,846 --> 01:12:03,245 Thank you for your help. 1070 01:12:03,447 --> 01:12:05,210 She only writes tragedies! 1071 01:12:05,416 --> 01:12:06,781 I don't believe in God. 1072 01:12:34,912 --> 01:12:37,813 Okay, he's bringing her flours. 1073 01:12:49,393 --> 01:12:51,987 Kay, where you been? 1074 01:12:52,997 --> 01:12:55,898 I went out to buy cigarettes... 1075 01:12:56,100 --> 01:12:58,864 ...and I figured out how to kill Harold Crick. 1076 01:13:00,137 --> 01:13:01,468 Buying cigarettes? 1077 01:13:01,672 --> 01:13:05,108 As I was... When I came out of the store... 1078 01:13:05,409 --> 01:13:07,673 ...it came to me. 1079 01:13:08,346 --> 01:13:09,643 How? 1080 01:13:09,847 --> 01:13:12,111 Well, Penny, like anything worth writing... 1081 01:13:12,316 --> 01:13:15,376 ...it came inexplicably and without method. 1082 01:13:15,586 --> 01:13:18,817 I see. Then what happens? 1083 01:13:19,657 --> 01:13:23,855 It's perfect, actually. I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier. 1084 01:13:24,061 --> 01:13:26,996 It's simple, ironic... 1085 01:13:27,498 --> 01:13:29,693 ...possibly heartbreaking. 1086 01:13:31,002 --> 01:13:32,333 Is that it? 1087 01:13:32,670 --> 01:13:33,728 Yes. 1088 01:13:33,938 --> 01:13:36,702 - You wrote it on legal sheets? - On the bus. 1089 01:13:38,376 --> 01:13:39,741 Well, then. 1090 01:13:43,114 --> 01:13:47,551 So I'll finish it today. 1091 01:13:49,620 --> 01:13:51,383 I'll let the publishers know. 1092 01:13:52,056 --> 01:13:54,081 I'll begin packing my things. 1093 01:13:54,291 --> 01:13:56,259 I appreciate it. 1094 01:14:12,443 --> 01:14:14,877 - Hi. Hello. Hi. - May I help you? 1095 01:14:15,079 --> 01:14:17,104 I need to speak to Karen Eiffel. 1096 01:14:17,314 --> 01:14:18,679 - I'm sorry? - Karen Eiffel. 1097 01:14:18,883 --> 01:14:21,078 She's one of your authors. I need to talk to her. 1098 01:14:21,285 --> 01:14:23,219 Well, sir, she's not here. 1099 01:14:23,421 --> 01:14:26,515 No. No, I know. I need to find her. I need to know where she is. 1100 01:14:26,724 --> 01:14:27,986 We're just the publishers. 1101 01:14:28,192 --> 01:14:31,992 Right. Of course. But there must be a way that I can contact her. 1102 01:14:32,630 --> 01:14:34,791 We have the address where her fan mail is sent. 1103 01:14:34,999 --> 01:14:37,263 No, I can't send mail. It's urgent. 1104 01:14:37,968 --> 01:14:39,230 How do you know her? 1105 01:14:40,337 --> 01:14:42,931 - I'm her brother. - Her brother? 1106 01:14:43,474 --> 01:14:46,443 - Her brother-in-law. - She has a sister? 1107 01:14:47,178 --> 01:14:49,510 No, I'm married to her brother. 1108 01:14:50,414 --> 01:14:53,042 Not in this state, the one over. 1109 01:14:55,019 --> 01:14:58,284 Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 1110 01:14:58,489 --> 01:15:00,787 No. Okay. Listen. 1111 01:15:02,626 --> 01:15:07,586 I'm one of her characters. I'm new. I'm in her new book. 1112 01:15:07,798 --> 01:15:12,201 And she's going to kill me. Not actually. But in the book. 1113 01:15:12,403 --> 01:15:15,998 But I think it'll actually kill me so I just need to talk to her... 1114 01:15:16,207 --> 01:15:18,368 ...and ask her to stop. 1115 01:15:31,989 --> 01:15:34,822 Hi, Harold. Nice sweater. 1116 01:15:37,995 --> 01:15:39,394 Hi, Harold. Phones are out. 1117 01:15:39,597 --> 01:15:41,292 Hey, Harold, 19 percent of 4632? 1118 01:15:45,603 --> 01:15:47,867 Hey, Harold. Back from your vaca? 1119 01:15:48,072 --> 01:15:50,472 Hey. Looking good. 1120 01:15:51,275 --> 01:15:53,675 - He looks terrible. - Yeah, banged up. 1121 01:15:55,312 --> 01:15:57,177 Wherever he went, I do not want to go. 1122 01:15:57,381 --> 01:15:58,746 Book me not there. 1123 01:16:01,986 --> 01:16:03,180 He's totally ignoring me. 1124 01:16:06,891 --> 01:16:08,654 Here, look at this now. There he goes. 1125 01:16:08,859 --> 01:16:10,053 It was good having you. 1126 01:16:33,584 --> 01:16:36,382 - Oh, dude, the phones are out. - Can I borrow your cell phone? 1127 01:16:36,587 --> 01:16:38,851 - The signal's down. - Damn it. 1128 01:16:39,056 --> 01:16:41,547 - You all right? - Dave, I need a favor. 1129 01:16:41,759 --> 01:16:44,421 - Sure, what is it? - Can I have some change? 1130 01:16:47,765 --> 01:16:50,791 Within moments, Harold found himself running across the plaza... 1131 01:16:51,001 --> 01:16:52,969 ... heading for the nearest pay phone. 1132 01:16:56,273 --> 01:16:57,934 At last, he spotted it. 1133 01:17:00,311 --> 01:17:03,246 But as Harold neared the phone, he saw it was occupied... 1134 01:17:03,447 --> 01:17:06,746 ... by an octogenarian determined to reach his daughter in Denver... 1135 01:17:06,951 --> 01:17:09,010 ... no matter how many quarters it took. 1136 01:17:09,220 --> 01:17:11,518 Fortunately, Harold remembered a bank of phones... 1137 01:17:11,722 --> 01:17:13,485 ... in the Sixth Street subway tunnel. 1138 01:17:13,691 --> 01:17:17,149 The baby's name isn't Mrs. Epstein. My daughter's name is Mrs. Epstein. 1139 01:17:35,045 --> 01:17:37,411 The first phone failed to give a dial tone. 1140 01:17:38,515 --> 01:17:40,312 And the second seemed to be splattered... 1141 01:17:40,517 --> 01:17:42,314 ... with a fresh batch of mucus. 1142 01:17:44,722 --> 01:17:46,781 Harold dialed the third phone... 1143 01:17:46,991 --> 01:17:51,655 ... fervently making sure to give each number key a specific forceful push. 1144 01:18:13,217 --> 01:18:14,650 Don't answer that! 1145 01:18:14,852 --> 01:18:16,752 Didn't you say this phone never r...? 1146 01:18:44,882 --> 01:18:47,180 - Hello? - Is this Karen Eiffel? 1147 01:18:47,384 --> 01:18:49,045 - Yes. - My name is Harold Crick. 1148 01:18:49,253 --> 01:18:51,414 I believe you're writing a story about me. 1149 01:18:52,423 --> 01:18:56,223 - I'm sorry? - My name is Harold Crick. 1150 01:18:56,927 --> 01:18:59,418 - Is this a joke? - No. 1151 01:18:59,630 --> 01:19:02,690 No, I work for the IRS. My name, Miss Eiffel, is Harold Crick. 1152 01:19:02,900 --> 01:19:06,267 When I go through the files at work I hear a deep and endless ocean. 1153 01:19:06,470 --> 01:19:09,337 - Oh, G...! - Miss Eiffel? 1154 01:19:10,274 --> 01:19:11,832 Hello? 1155 01:19:12,042 --> 01:19:14,169 Miss Eiffel? Hello? 1156 01:19:21,485 --> 01:19:22,679 Let him in. 1157 01:19:35,399 --> 01:19:36,696 Hello. 1158 01:19:37,167 --> 01:19:38,293 Hello. 1159 01:19:39,503 --> 01:19:41,198 I'm Penny. I'm Kay's assistant. 1160 01:19:41,405 --> 01:19:44,306 Oh, I'm Harold. Her main character. 1161 01:20:02,659 --> 01:20:04,286 Oh, my God. 1162 01:20:08,065 --> 01:20:09,692 Oh, my God. 1163 01:20:11,068 --> 01:20:12,695 Oh, my God. 1164 01:20:17,908 --> 01:20:19,170 Miss Eiffel? 1165 01:20:19,643 --> 01:20:22,840 Your hair. Your eyes. 1166 01:20:24,081 --> 01:20:25,639 Your fingers. 1167 01:20:27,885 --> 01:20:29,853 Your shoes. 1168 01:20:32,923 --> 01:20:34,117 Hello. 1169 01:20:38,328 --> 01:20:40,319 I'm Harold Crick. 1170 01:20:41,065 --> 01:20:42,794 I know. 1171 01:20:44,768 --> 01:20:45,962 How did you find me? 1172 01:20:47,037 --> 01:20:50,438 We audited you a little more than 10 years ago... 1173 01:20:50,641 --> 01:20:52,632 ...and your number was in the file. 1174 01:20:52,843 --> 01:20:57,473 I'm sorry, but this is incredibly strange. 1175 01:20:57,681 --> 01:20:59,342 You're telling me. 1176 01:21:00,050 --> 01:21:02,143 Didn't you think you were crazy? 1177 01:21:02,786 --> 01:21:04,276 Sort of. 1178 01:21:04,488 --> 01:21:08,049 But then you were right about everything. Like, everything. 1179 01:21:08,258 --> 01:21:10,453 And then you said, "Little did he know." 1180 01:21:10,661 --> 01:21:14,791 - "Little did he know"? - Yeah. It's third-person omniscient. 1181 01:21:15,432 --> 01:21:16,626 Jesus. 1182 01:21:16,834 --> 01:21:20,235 Which meant it was, well, you know, someone other than me. 1183 01:21:20,604 --> 01:21:23,164 At least that's what Professor Hilbert said. 1184 01:21:23,373 --> 01:21:25,466 Professor Hilbert? 1185 01:21:25,809 --> 01:21:27,470 - Professor Jules Hilbert? - Yeah. 1186 01:21:28,779 --> 01:21:30,747 Yeah, he loves your books. 1187 01:21:31,648 --> 01:21:34,583 I love his letters. I don't... 1188 01:21:34,785 --> 01:21:36,810 So you understand why I had to find you... 1189 01:21:37,020 --> 01:21:40,251 ...and ask you not to kill me. - What? 1190 01:21:40,724 --> 01:21:43,591 I mean, obviously you haven't written the end. 1191 01:21:44,628 --> 01:21:45,595 Harold... 1192 01:21:45,796 --> 01:21:50,028 I mean, now since we've met and you can see that I exist... 1193 01:21:50,234 --> 01:21:52,202 ...you're not gonna kill me, right? 1194 01:21:55,139 --> 01:21:56,766 Have you written it? 1195 01:21:57,307 --> 01:21:58,865 I can... No. 1196 01:21:59,076 --> 01:22:00,600 - Have you written it? - An outline. 1197 01:22:01,178 --> 01:22:03,043 Okay. But it's just an outline, right? 1198 01:22:03,247 --> 01:22:04,839 - Yeah, sort of. - "Sort of"? 1199 01:22:05,048 --> 01:22:06,572 - It's just not typed. - "Not typed"?! 1200 01:22:06,783 --> 01:22:08,273 - Maybe that's okay. - What does that mean? 1201 01:22:08,485 --> 01:22:11,886 - I'm sorry, I'm trying to write a book. - What do you mean it's "okay"? 1202 01:22:12,089 --> 01:22:14,114 - What do you mean you're sorry? - Kay. 1203 01:22:14,324 --> 01:22:16,087 Let him read it. 1204 01:22:18,929 --> 01:22:20,692 Let him read it. 1205 01:22:35,546 --> 01:22:37,980 - Did you find her? - Yeah. 1206 01:22:38,448 --> 01:22:41,781 - And? - I may already be dead... 1207 01:22:41,985 --> 01:22:43,782 ...just not typed. 1208 01:22:44,821 --> 01:22:45,810 Is that it? 1209 01:22:47,858 --> 01:22:49,155 Did you read it? 1210 01:22:49,359 --> 01:22:51,657 I tried, but I couldn't. 1211 01:22:53,230 --> 01:22:55,164 You have to read it. 1212 01:22:55,699 --> 01:22:58,293 You have to tell me what to do or what not to do. 1213 01:22:58,835 --> 01:23:01,269 If I can avoid it... 1214 01:23:02,673 --> 01:23:04,641 If I have a chance... 1215 01:23:05,075 --> 01:23:06,565 Please. 1216 01:23:13,417 --> 01:23:14,884 Okay. 1217 01:23:15,552 --> 01:23:16,746 Okay. 1218 01:23:55,626 --> 01:23:57,719 And here's your uniform. 1219 01:23:58,929 --> 01:24:01,693 It's a go. Banetta's outside, she'll assign you your locker. 1220 01:24:03,900 --> 01:24:06,801 - And you roll. - I'm ready. 1221 01:25:04,061 --> 01:25:05,824 Professor Hilbert? 1222 01:25:07,698 --> 01:25:09,962 - Hi, Harold. - Hi. 1223 01:25:11,902 --> 01:25:13,233 You look tired. 1224 01:25:13,970 --> 01:25:16,268 No, no, just calm. 1225 01:25:19,710 --> 01:25:21,575 Harold, I'm sorry. 1226 01:25:25,282 --> 01:25:27,011 You have to die. 1227 01:25:28,018 --> 01:25:29,212 What? 1228 01:25:29,419 --> 01:25:31,910 It's her masterpiece. 1229 01:25:34,224 --> 01:25:39,423 It's possibly the most important novel in her already stunning career... 1230 01:25:39,629 --> 01:25:43,292 ...and it's absolutely no good unless you die at the end. 1231 01:25:44,368 --> 01:25:46,165 I've been over it again and again... 1232 01:25:46,370 --> 01:25:49,999 ...and I know how hard this is for you to hear. 1233 01:25:54,077 --> 01:25:57,342 You're asking me to knowingly face my death? 1234 01:25:58,448 --> 01:26:00,075 Yes. 1235 01:26:01,618 --> 01:26:03,245 Really? 1236 01:26:04,221 --> 01:26:05,518 Yes. 1237 01:26:15,232 --> 01:26:19,692 I thought you'd... I thought you'd find something. 1238 01:26:20,837 --> 01:26:22,134 I'm sorry, Harold. 1239 01:26:24,941 --> 01:26:29,469 Can't we just try and just see if she can change it? 1240 01:26:29,679 --> 01:26:32,147 - No. - No? 1241 01:26:32,349 --> 01:26:33,748 Harold... 1242 01:26:34,618 --> 01:26:37,883 ...in the grand scheme it wouldn't matter. 1243 01:26:40,090 --> 01:26:42,888 - Yes, it would. - No. 1244 01:26:44,995 --> 01:26:46,963 I could change. 1245 01:26:49,199 --> 01:26:51,326 I could quit my job. 1246 01:26:51,535 --> 01:26:54,163 I could go away with Ana. 1247 01:26:54,604 --> 01:26:57,198 I could be someone else. 1248 01:26:58,041 --> 01:27:00,134 Harold, listen to me. 1249 01:27:00,343 --> 01:27:02,743 I can't die right now. 1250 01:27:05,282 --> 01:27:07,807 It's just really bad timing. 1251 01:27:10,253 --> 01:27:13,313 No one wants to die, Harold, but unfortunately we do. 1252 01:27:15,158 --> 01:27:16,682 Harold... 1253 01:27:17,360 --> 01:27:19,351 Harold, listen to me. 1254 01:27:21,465 --> 01:27:24,593 Harold, you will die someday, sometime. 1255 01:27:24,801 --> 01:27:26,962 Heart failure at the bank. 1256 01:27:27,471 --> 01:27:29,666 Choke on a mint. 1257 01:27:30,607 --> 01:27:33,940 Some long, drawn-out disease you contracted on vacation. 1258 01:27:34,144 --> 01:27:37,875 You will die. You will absolutely die. 1259 01:27:38,715 --> 01:27:42,173 Even if you avoid this death, another will find you. 1260 01:27:42,385 --> 01:27:48,221 And I guarantee that it won't be nearly as poetic or meaningful... 1261 01:27:48,625 --> 01:27:50,593 ...as what she's written. 1262 01:27:53,930 --> 01:27:55,761 I'm sorry... 1263 01:27:56,967 --> 01:27:59,731 ...but it's the nature of all tragedies, Harold. 1264 01:28:00,670 --> 01:28:04,504 The hero dies, but the story lives on forever. 1265 01:28:42,979 --> 01:28:47,245 - There's an empty seat right there. - No, I wanna sit down over here. 1266 01:29:22,886 --> 01:29:24,251 Kay? 1267 01:29:35,832 --> 01:29:37,231 Kay? 1268 01:29:39,869 --> 01:29:42,702 How many people do you think I've killed? 1269 01:29:44,774 --> 01:29:47,072 - Kay. - How many? 1270 01:29:47,577 --> 01:29:48,874 - I don't know. - Eight. 1271 01:29:49,713 --> 01:29:53,877 - Kay... - I've killed eight people. I counted. 1272 01:29:54,517 --> 01:29:56,246 They're fictional. Get up. 1273 01:29:56,453 --> 01:29:58,421 Harold Crick isn't fictional. 1274 01:29:58,855 --> 01:30:01,619 - I don't... - He isn't fictional, Penny. 1275 01:30:02,692 --> 01:30:06,753 Every book I've ever written ends with someone dying. Every one. 1276 01:30:07,530 --> 01:30:09,930 Really nice people too. 1277 01:30:10,133 --> 01:30:14,092 The book about Helen the schoolteacher. 1278 01:30:15,205 --> 01:30:20,370 I killed her the day before summer vacation. 1279 01:30:21,144 --> 01:30:23,203 How cruel is that? 1280 01:30:23,680 --> 01:30:27,047 And the civil engineer, Edward. 1281 01:30:27,250 --> 01:30:28,683 The one I trapped... 1282 01:30:28,885 --> 01:30:34,414 ...with a heart attack in rush hour. 1283 01:30:34,624 --> 01:30:36,455 I killed him. 1284 01:30:38,228 --> 01:30:40,253 I killed... 1285 01:30:41,331 --> 01:30:43,424 Penny, I killed them all. 1286 01:31:17,200 --> 01:31:19,600 Miss Eiffel? Miss Eiffel? 1287 01:31:20,904 --> 01:31:22,769 - Harold. - Hi. 1288 01:31:23,039 --> 01:31:26,406 - I just finished it. - You just... 1289 01:31:26,609 --> 01:31:29,407 Yeah, I read it all in one read on the bus. 1290 01:31:30,313 --> 01:31:31,974 It's lovely. 1291 01:31:32,182 --> 01:31:34,309 I like the part about the guitars. 1292 01:31:35,385 --> 01:31:39,253 Well, thanks, thanks. Goo... Well, listen, I'm... 1293 01:31:39,456 --> 01:31:44,018 No, I read it and I loved it. And there's only one way it can end. 1294 01:31:44,828 --> 01:31:48,355 I mean, I don't have much background in literary anything... 1295 01:31:48,565 --> 01:31:50,499 ...but this seems simple enough. 1296 01:31:53,536 --> 01:31:56,937 I love your book. And I think you should finish it. 1297 01:32:14,190 --> 01:32:16,090 The night before his death... 1298 01:32:16,292 --> 01:32:19,921 ... Harold unsuspectingly went about some usual business. 1299 01:32:21,431 --> 01:32:23,899 He finished his outstanding audits. 1300 01:32:25,835 --> 01:32:28,360 He made a few phone calls he had been putting off. 1301 01:32:28,571 --> 01:32:32,371 Listen, does your program have an age limit? 1302 01:32:33,042 --> 01:32:35,442 And he traveled to Ms. Pascal's... 1303 01:32:35,645 --> 01:32:38,876 ... where she made him meat loaf and chocolate pudding... 1304 01:32:39,082 --> 01:32:41,744 ... and the two watched old movies. 1305 01:32:43,520 --> 01:32:45,147 It was a nice enough evening. 1306 01:32:45,355 --> 01:32:49,189 And in any other circumstance it would've seemed commonplace. 1307 01:32:49,859 --> 01:32:53,260 In fact, the only thing that made this night significant... 1308 01:32:53,463 --> 01:32:55,829 ... was the morning it preceded. 1309 01:33:01,538 --> 01:33:03,836 I have to tell you something. 1310 01:33:04,040 --> 01:33:05,337 You do? 1311 01:33:06,242 --> 01:33:07,903 I do. 1312 01:33:08,711 --> 01:33:11,805 - Is it a secret? - Sort of. 1313 01:33:12,015 --> 01:33:13,505 Tell me. 1314 01:33:15,218 --> 01:33:17,186 I adore you. 1315 01:33:20,390 --> 01:33:22,483 I adore you too. 1316 01:33:25,195 --> 01:33:28,631 - That it? - No. 1317 01:33:29,833 --> 01:33:31,630 I have to tell you this. 1318 01:33:31,835 --> 01:33:34,429 I just want you to listen carefully. 1319 01:33:34,637 --> 01:33:36,195 Okay. 1320 01:33:37,540 --> 01:33:41,670 You can deduct the value of all the food you give away... 1321 01:33:41,878 --> 01:33:44,403 ...as a charitable contribution. - Harold. 1322 01:33:44,614 --> 01:33:49,916 No, no, no. In fact it amounts to more than what you're currently withholding. 1323 01:33:50,119 --> 01:33:52,280 And it doesn't break any tax laws. 1324 01:33:52,488 --> 01:33:56,686 Harold, the point is to break the tax laws. 1325 01:33:56,893 --> 01:34:00,260 I wanna make the world a better place too, Ana. 1326 01:34:01,231 --> 01:34:04,394 I think that means keeping you out of jail. 1327 01:34:08,371 --> 01:34:09,861 Okay. 1328 01:34:10,540 --> 01:34:12,030 Okay? 1329 01:34:12,242 --> 01:34:13,709 - Yeah. - Okay. 1330 01:34:13,910 --> 01:34:17,573 If you come over here... 1331 01:34:17,780 --> 01:34:21,978 ...and talk a little more tax talk in my ear. 1332 01:34:22,185 --> 01:34:24,517 Because I like it so much. 1333 01:35:47,470 --> 01:35:51,201 Much had changed for Harold over the past few weeks: 1334 01:35:51,407 --> 01:35:53,375 His attitude towards work. 1335 01:35:53,576 --> 01:35:55,908 His habitual counting. 1336 01:35:56,212 --> 01:35:57,975 His love life. 1337 01:36:02,151 --> 01:36:05,518 But of all the transmutations Harold Crick had undergone... 1338 01:36:05,722 --> 01:36:10,716 ... perhaps the most significant was that today on his return to work... 1339 01:36:10,927 --> 01:36:15,364 ... he was not late for the 8: 17 Kronecker bus. 1340 01:36:18,034 --> 01:36:19,729 What Harold had not understood... 1341 01:36:19,936 --> 01:36:22,336 ... about that Wednesday four weeks prior... 1342 01:36:22,538 --> 01:36:25,302 ... was that the time he received from his fellow commuter... 1343 01:36:25,508 --> 01:36:29,239 ... was, in fact, three full minutes later than the actual time... 1344 01:36:29,445 --> 01:36:31,743 ... and, therefore, three full minutes later... 1345 01:36:31,948 --> 01:36:36,647 ... than the time to which his watch and life had been previously set. 1346 01:36:37,720 --> 01:36:40,086 Not the worst of errors. 1347 01:36:41,457 --> 01:36:44,790 But if Harold had not set his watch to the incorrect time... 1348 01:36:44,994 --> 01:36:48,555 ... Harold would have again barely caught the 8: 17 Kronecker bus. 1349 01:36:49,198 --> 01:36:51,325 And he would not be approaching the bus stop... 1350 01:36:51,534 --> 01:36:54,731 ... precisely at 8: 14 this particular Friday. 1351 01:36:54,937 --> 01:36:56,404 Excuse me. 1352 01:37:00,443 --> 01:37:02,070 Harold? 1353 01:37:03,513 --> 01:37:05,606 An otherwise ignorable fact... 1354 01:37:06,182 --> 01:37:07,843 ... until the unthinkable occurred. 1355 01:37:41,617 --> 01:37:43,881 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 1356 01:37:44,087 --> 01:37:45,782 I need for everyone to just stay seated. 1357 01:37:45,988 --> 01:37:47,512 Come on, son. 1358 01:37:52,662 --> 01:37:55,256 - What happened? I didn't see him. - It was not your fault. 1359 01:37:55,465 --> 01:37:57,763 He was trying to help the boy. Get your supervisor. 1360 01:37:57,967 --> 01:37:59,161 I don't believe this. 1361 01:37:59,368 --> 01:38:01,859 - It was all my fault, though. - No, it wasn't. 1362 01:38:02,071 --> 01:38:03,265 Is he okay? 1363 01:38:03,473 --> 01:38:06,306 - It looks likes he's breathing. - I don't think he's breathing. 1364 01:38:06,509 --> 01:38:07,806 Oh, my God. 1365 01:38:22,758 --> 01:38:23,918 Come in. 1366 01:38:27,630 --> 01:38:28,688 Excuse me. 1367 01:38:32,468 --> 01:38:34,698 Are you Professor Hilbert? 1368 01:38:36,405 --> 01:38:37,838 Yes. 1369 01:38:40,076 --> 01:38:42,567 Hi. I'm Karen Eiffel. 1370 01:38:43,379 --> 01:38:47,782 I believe we have a mutual acquaintance. 1371 01:38:49,252 --> 01:38:51,447 Please, sit down. 1372 01:38:52,388 --> 01:38:54,913 No, I just came by to... 1373 01:38:55,992 --> 01:38:57,357 Here. 1374 01:39:00,730 --> 01:39:03,597 - Is that it? - Yes. 1375 01:39:04,467 --> 01:39:06,162 Have you read it? 1376 01:39:07,803 --> 01:39:09,498 Is that all right? 1377 01:39:13,009 --> 01:39:14,533 Yes. 1378 01:39:17,079 --> 01:39:22,016 I think, perhaps, you may be interested in the new ending. 1379 01:39:34,530 --> 01:39:36,395 Good afternoon. 1380 01:39:37,333 --> 01:39:39,062 Oh, hi. 1381 01:39:39,702 --> 01:39:42,000 It's a pretty brave thing you did. 1382 01:39:45,074 --> 01:39:48,100 Stepping in front of that bus was pretty brave. 1383 01:39:49,712 --> 01:39:52,374 Kind of stupid, but pretty brave. 1384 01:39:52,582 --> 01:39:54,311 Oh, yeah. 1385 01:39:55,251 --> 01:39:56,878 Is that boy okay? 1386 01:39:57,086 --> 01:39:59,316 He's just fine. Scratched up is all. 1387 01:39:59,522 --> 01:40:01,149 Oh, good. 1388 01:40:03,626 --> 01:40:05,150 Am I okay? 1389 01:40:06,095 --> 01:40:07,960 Well, you're not dead. 1390 01:40:08,164 --> 01:40:10,962 On the other hand, it looks like you cracked your head... 1391 01:40:11,167 --> 01:40:13,362 ...you broke three bones in your leg and foot... 1392 01:40:13,569 --> 01:40:16,265 ...you suffered four broken ribs, fractured your left arm... 1393 01:40:16,472 --> 01:40:20,374 ...and severed an artery in your right, which should've killed you in minutes. 1394 01:40:20,576 --> 01:40:21,770 But amazingly... 1395 01:40:21,978 --> 01:40:24,708 ...a shard of metal from your watch obstructed the artery... 1396 01:40:24,914 --> 01:40:27,849 ...keeping the blood loss low enough to keep you alive... 1397 01:40:28,050 --> 01:40:29,517 ...which is pretty cool. 1398 01:40:30,853 --> 01:40:33,117 Yeah. So with some physical therapy... 1399 01:40:33,322 --> 01:40:36,052 ...a few months of rest, you should be fine. 1400 01:40:36,392 --> 01:40:39,520 Well, sort of. We weren't able to remove the shard of watch... 1401 01:40:39,729 --> 01:40:42,630 ...from your arm without risking severe arterial damage. 1402 01:40:42,832 --> 01:40:45,130 You'll be okay. You'll just have a piece of watch... 1403 01:40:45,334 --> 01:40:47,598 ...embedded in your arm the rest of your life. 1404 01:40:48,237 --> 01:40:51,070 You're very lucky to be alive, Mr. Crick. 1405 01:40:52,008 --> 01:40:52,975 Yeah. 1406 01:40:57,213 --> 01:41:00,580 - Dr. Mercator, Mr. Crick has a visitor. - Sure. 1407 01:41:01,617 --> 01:41:05,144 - My God, Harold. - Hey. 1408 01:41:07,857 --> 01:41:10,621 - I'm okay. It's all right. - Harold. 1409 01:41:10,826 --> 01:41:12,316 I'm fine. 1410 01:41:12,528 --> 01:41:15,122 Harold, you're not fine. 1411 01:41:15,331 --> 01:41:18,732 Look at you. You're severely injured. 1412 01:41:18,934 --> 01:41:21,903 - No, I'm fine. - What...? What happened? 1413 01:41:23,072 --> 01:41:24,699 I stepped in front of a bus. 1414 01:41:24,907 --> 01:41:27,705 What? Why? 1415 01:41:27,910 --> 01:41:31,539 There was a boy. I had to push him out of the way. 1416 01:41:31,747 --> 01:41:33,806 What? 1417 01:41:34,717 --> 01:41:37,948 I had to keep this boy from getting hit. 1418 01:41:41,357 --> 01:41:44,451 You stepped in front of a bus to save a little boy? 1419 01:41:45,361 --> 01:41:47,454 I didn't have a choice. 1420 01:41:47,663 --> 01:41:49,290 I had to. 1421 01:42:03,746 --> 01:42:06,840 It's... It's okay. 1422 01:42:08,150 --> 01:42:10,846 - It's not great. - No. 1423 01:42:11,053 --> 01:42:13,487 It's okay. It's not bad. 1424 01:42:13,923 --> 01:42:17,256 It's not the most amazing piece of English literature in several years... 1425 01:42:17,460 --> 01:42:19,792 ...but it's okay. 1426 01:42:21,864 --> 01:42:22,831 You know... 1427 01:42:25,301 --> 01:42:27,599 ...I think I'm fine with "okay." 1428 01:42:27,803 --> 01:42:30,328 It doesn't make sense with the rest of the book though. 1429 01:42:30,539 --> 01:42:33,133 No, not yet. I'll rewrite the rest. 1430 01:42:33,342 --> 01:42:35,674 My assistant said she'd go back to the publisher... 1431 01:42:35,878 --> 01:42:38,403 ...and request more time. - Why? 1432 01:42:38,848 --> 01:42:40,509 Don't know. It's awfully sweet though. 1433 01:42:40,716 --> 01:42:43,184 No, why did you change the book? 1434 01:42:45,621 --> 01:42:47,145 Lots of reasons. 1435 01:42:47,356 --> 01:42:50,086 I realized I just couldn't do it. 1436 01:42:51,394 --> 01:42:53,362 Because he's real? 1437 01:42:53,896 --> 01:42:56,660 Because it's a book about a man... 1438 01:42:56,866 --> 01:42:59,858 ...who doesn't know he's about to die and then dies. 1439 01:43:00,069 --> 01:43:03,766 But if the man does know he's going to die and dies anyway... 1440 01:43:03,973 --> 01:43:06,441 ...dies willingly, knowing he could stop it, then... 1441 01:43:08,244 --> 01:43:12,237 I mean, isn't that the type of man you want to keep alive? 1442 01:43:14,583 --> 01:43:17,416 As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie... 1443 01:43:17,620 --> 01:43:21,647 ... he finally felt as if everything was going to be okay. 1444 01:43:22,625 --> 01:43:26,186 Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair... 1445 01:43:26,395 --> 01:43:28,795 ... in routine and constancy... 1446 01:43:29,899 --> 01:43:32,060 ... in hopelessness and tragedy... 1447 01:43:32,668 --> 01:43:36,229 ... we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. 1448 01:43:36,972 --> 01:43:39,702 And fortunately, when there aren't any cookies... 1449 01:43:39,909 --> 01:43:44,642 ... we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin... 1450 01:43:45,981 --> 01:43:47,972 ... or a kind and loving gesture... 1451 01:43:51,787 --> 01:43:53,254 ... or a subtle encouragement... 1452 01:43:57,560 --> 01:43:59,892 ... or a loving embrace... 1453 01:44:02,164 --> 01:44:04,997 ... or an offer of comfort. 1454 01:44:05,768 --> 01:44:09,499 Not to mention hospital gurneys... 1455 01:44:11,474 --> 01:44:13,601 ... and nose plugs... 1456 01:44:20,316 --> 01:44:22,682 ... and uneaten Danish... 1457 01:44:24,787 --> 01:44:26,914 ... and soft-spoken secrets... 1458 01:44:30,826 --> 01:44:33,659 ... and Fender Stratocasters... 1459 01:44:34,330 --> 01:44:38,994 ... and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. 1460 01:44:40,102 --> 01:44:42,400 And we must remember that all these things... 1461 01:44:42,605 --> 01:44:44,766 ... the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties... 1462 01:44:44,974 --> 01:44:47,033 ... which we assume only accessorize our days... 1463 01:44:47,243 --> 01:44:51,577 ... are, in fact, here for a much larger and nobler cause: 1464 01:44:51,881 --> 01:44:55,078 They are here to save our lives. 1465 01:44:55,718 --> 01:44:58,312 I know the idea seems strange. 1466 01:44:58,521 --> 01:45:02,116 But I also know that it just so happens to be true. 1467 01:45:03,125 --> 01:45:04,558 And so it was: 1468 01:45:04,760 --> 01:45:07,228 A wristwatch saved Harold Crick.