1 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:30,518 It began as a singularity, 2 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:35,589 the entire universe compressed into a space the size of a proton. 3 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,632 Then the Big Bang... 4 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,877 blew it apart. 5 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:48,990 Matter, converted from energy, swirled and compressed itself into stars 6 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,996 Red Giants... 7 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:54,032 and tiny white dwarfs. 8 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,598 Stars congealed into galaxies. 9 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:02,589 Massive nebulae and timeless spiral clusters, 10 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:08,397 spinning faster and faster into the endless void. 11 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:13,392 Black holes arose, swallowing matter. 12 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:17,758 Constellations filled the night sky. 13 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,791 Libra... 14 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,031 Stifficus. 15 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,198 Planets took form. 16 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,231 Moons arose... 17 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:40,911 Atoms formed molecules, then molecules formed life 18 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,952 throughout the universe... 19 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,198 Alien creatures, hideous in form. 20 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,600 The earth took form. 21 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,600 Then God appeared. 22 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,237 And Gods voice was heard. 23 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,318 Shut up you stupid monkey... 24 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:16,160 And then a single celled organism 25 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:22,991 evolved into the highest form of intellect known to God... 26 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,235 MAN. 27 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:34,595 It was one of those days you never forget. I'd arrested Osmond Bin Laden 28 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:38,599 at a Lakers-Knicks game. Now I was back in D. C. on the QT making my way asap 29 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:42,599 to the HQ when I heard the APB: -All available units to big joes, 30 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,598 hostage situation, armed terrorists. 31 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:49,599 The police needed my negotiating skills, perfected by years of volunteer service 32 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:54,077 with the pet rescue division. Coaxing cats out of trees and gerbils out of holes, 33 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,078 made you smart about a lot of things. 34 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:01,159 This is the Washington police force. There is no way out. 35 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:05,591 You have five minutes to give yourselves up, and counting. 36 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:08,598 You're surrounded! Throw down your arms! Now! 37 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:18,079 Come out! We've got ya! -Yeah? And we've got burgers 38 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:22,079 and hostages and fries... -I'm ordering you to give yourselves up! 39 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,078 And I'm ordering one car and one plane. 40 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:28,590 One plain what? -One plain plane. With pilot. 41 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:33,316 I want those hostages! Now! -One hostage coming up! 42 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:37,592 Those hostages were my new gerbils. They needed marshal Dick Dix to free them. 43 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,431 Shit! 44 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:53,394 Dix! This is police business! You have no jurisdiction here! 45 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,398 Now get lost! 46 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,712 Alright! 47 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,918 Well... 48 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:24,750 Let's play a little game of Simon says, good... 49 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:29,157 Simon says: Get your hands on your head and line up in front of me here... 50 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,509 hurry it up! 51 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,191 Let's go. 52 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:39,158 What are you? A bunch of fanatics? You hate this county, you're mad 53 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:44,593 just because we don't play soccer here? -But Mr. Simon, we are the hostages. 54 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:48,599 Who do you think you're talking to? A dummy? These hard-working immigrants 55 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:52,599 are the backbone of this country! They put the damn on the hover, 56 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,599 they put the railroad ties over the great divine 57 00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:01,714 and they did it with a smile buddy. They weren't mad at anybody. 58 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:05,912 No. Don't lower yourselves to their level. I'll take care of this. 59 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:09,919 I'll seek to it that they get a fair trial and then we'll strung them up. 60 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,998 Fire the tear gas! 61 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:35,032 I'm gonna kill him! Dix! 62 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,071 Dix! 63 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,193 Let's get one thing clear. This situation was not created by the police 64 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:45,313 but it was created by people who are getting in the way of the police. 65 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:51,595 The police aren't there to create disorder. The police are here to protect disorder. 66 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:55,032 You come back here! 67 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:01,111 There's nothing better than a job delicately handled, 68 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:06,833 but now it was a time to meet the big boss Secretary Osgood. 69 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:11,193 I loved my job. Every day was different. 70 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:16,758 Every assignment was different. Everything about the department was different. 71 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,553 Enough, enough, stop, stop. -This is not respectful for the deceased. 72 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:39,633 To the untrained eye, this looked like the normal bullpit of any old precinct. 73 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:43,673 But hidden deep within the bowels of this house grave matters of state were at play. 74 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:53,394 Dix, come on in. Good to see you, my boy. -Good to see you Mr. Secretary. 75 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:57,433 This is Cassandra Menage, Executive Officer on Vegan. -How do you do? 76 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,993 She is in charge of Human and Alien affairs. -Some kind of dating service? 77 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:08,591 She oversees our sensitive Alien operations! -Well there's nothing sensitive about them. 78 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:13,191 All you need is to tighten up the borders. -Dix, I'm talking about alien Aliens. 79 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:17,199 Alien, aliens. You mean like from outer space? 80 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,233 Yes, Vegan is a lunar base, just like Area 51, but shielded 81 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:25,273 from Earth by a reflective bubble, and there are plenty of Aliens there. 82 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:29,313 Cassandra files classified reports to the various international governments. 83 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:33,399 This latest one she delivered it in person. If what she says is true, 84 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:37,433 the future of the planet is at stake. -Now that could be serious. 85 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:41,473 I know it smells funny, but the President of the United States has been kidnapped 86 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:45,513 and is being held captive on Vegan. The man in the White House is a clone. 87 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:49,553 Just a minute, it says here the man in the White House is a clown. 88 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,591 Clone. 89 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,913 Clone. That's what it says here. -Yeah, I know. That's my report... 90 00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,953 This isn't a joke, Dix. -I know that Sir, but I saw the President 91 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,993 on television the other night. -That wasn't the President. 92 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:09,830 She's right. We're all set for Memory Recapture. Have a seat Marshal. 93 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:13,873 Cassandra, your brainwaves will be transmitted to the screen, 94 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:17,913 so we'll be able to see exactly what you saw and heard. 95 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:21,999 When you're ready, I want you to tell us what happened. 96 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:26,033 Close your eyes, relax and let your unconscious take over. 97 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:30,073 Let your mind go blank. 98 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,991 Dix. 99 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,556 Dix! 100 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,592 You need to watch the screen. 101 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:47,479 I'd gone to the Vegan mines to investigate a grievance by one of the miners... 102 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:51,513 After a lot of turns and twists, I realized I was completely lost. 103 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:55,553 My way was blocked by a cave-in. Then I noticed light coming through 104 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:59,593 a crack in the wall. I moved forward and found myself in a room 105 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:03,633 overlooking some kind of operating theatre. 106 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:07,673 A man was talking in an alien dialect, so I switched the Auto-Trans to English 107 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,713 to see if I could recognize his voice, 108 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,753 but I couldn't. -I will get that sillicon for you 109 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,793 if you will make me leader of the new world. 110 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:23,833 By using DNA building blocks I will create clones 111 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:28,510 of existing world leaders who will follow our orders. 112 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,515 Activate the cloning machine, 113 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,952 and now for our latest clone creation. 114 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:43,910 A world leader admired by all. 115 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:49,313 And there he was, Groucho Marx. But what happen next 116 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:54,354 was more frightening still. -In Washington, the man in power, 117 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:58,393 the President, is a clone... our clone. Now, let me... 118 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:04,197 introduce you to his predecessor, the real President of the United States! 119 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:08,513 Now we got cloning control, we will take your earth 120 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:13,918 and all it's silicon too, then its hasta la vista. 121 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:18,393 Bastards! 122 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:22,433 And that's when I ran, as fast as I could. -They took the President, 123 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:26,473 took his DNA and put an impostor in the White House. Kidnapping, 124 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:30,559 robbery, and fraud. Breaking the law. -Dix, I want you to go to Vegan 125 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:34,593 to make a routine inspection. I'll arrange the clearances. 126 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:39,111 If the President is there, find him and bring him back. 127 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:43,153 The implications here are very grave. Any mistakes, even fumbles, 128 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:47,193 will be denied at this end. You're acting on your own. 129 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:51,597 And when you both meet again on Vegan, you've never seen each other before. 130 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:56,111 I've forgotten already. -It'll take me longer than that... 131 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,152 Oh... that's so nice. -Oh, thank you, 132 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:03,955 I always had a good memory, even as a boy. -Well, Marshal. 133 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:08,312 Miss... -Menage. 134 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:22,478 If you don't stop pulling your thing, you're going to go blind, Richard! 135 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,599 But I like pulling on it, Mum! 136 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:32,315 Your son is rapidly loosing his sight. And we don't know why, Ms. Dix. 137 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,432 Mum, meet my new girl friend. 138 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:41,110 Richard, you have to wear your glasses. 139 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,993 I have the outer most faith in you, Marshal Dix, have a good flight. 140 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:52,036 Thank you Mr. Secretary, but I think this must be broken. 141 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:57,111 I didn't have a lot of time. I had to catch a plane to cape Kennedy, 142 00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:02,439 then the shuttle to Vegan and avoid any pressing delays. 143 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:26,634 The department was gonna to have to dive in at the deep end, 144 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:30,912 because I was headed for the moon to maybe save the President of the United States. 145 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:31,749 This should help beam me up. I've got to get back to my ship. 146 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,713 Scotty, Bones, Mr. Spock, where the hell are you? 147 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:49,156 Secretary Osgood was right when he told me there were plenty of aliens on Vegan. 148 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:53,716 But he had forgotten to tell me how butt ugly they were. 149 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,752 They were ugly from any direction. 150 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:05,591 The rules: Smuggling or assisting any Alien back to Earth means immediate imprisonment. 151 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,393 Open your bag, please. -Yo, is that Marshal Dix? It's ok. 152 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:12,558 He's police. Lieutenant Shitzu, Vegan Security. Misswick. -Miss who? 153 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:16,752 Misswick. M. S. W. I. C. Mother-Sucker-who's-in-charge. 154 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,593 Is this your bag? 155 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:23,116 I'm writing a book... -Welcome to Vegan, Marshal Dix... 156 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:27,233 That's right isn't it? Dix... as in more-than-one-dick? 157 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,751 Good to be someplace where your feet will do what you tell them to do... 158 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:36,032 Attention! Sensors detected an alien hiding in a human life-form. 159 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,511 Move down! 160 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:48,633 What's going on? -That fool's a conversion. 161 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,673 Do you need holy water for that? -When these brothers first came here, 162 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,713 we didn't know about their plan to use conversions to take over the Earth. 163 00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,753 Lucky for us, all our asses were saved, due to the sounds of our modern life: 164 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:04,793 Arcade, TV, rap, hip-hop. All that irritatin' shit. 165 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:08,992 High-pitch sound makes these suckers explode. 166 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,072 Close the lid, babboom! 167 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,991 Good. Fangullo. 168 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,872 Mi scusi, mi dispiace. I am capitain Valentino Di Pasquale. 169 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,913 I don't speak Alien. -He ain't kickin' no jive-ass Alien lingo! 170 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,952 He jes' tryin' to show some love! -What? 171 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,993 Mi dipacia, diabola. He try to speak-a inna piccolo Ebonico. -Pickle what? 172 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:45,033 No disrespect, y'all up in this ice cream and you don't even know the flavour! 173 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,469 You think he don't understand plain Inglish? 174 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:51,510 Please, my father was from Brooklolino... -Yo man, did years in Vegas babe, 175 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:57,029 who can take the sun, yea. Right back babe, yea. 176 00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:01,358 That guy is right, Marshal, this way, this way. Andiamo! 177 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:24,754 Our operation and research director, Dr Pratt, will show you around. 178 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,792 The base commander couldn't be hear, cuz' he's out playing golf. 179 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,308 Everything is alright! 180 00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:34,956 Good, that means that nothing works. -But he did ask me to escort you 181 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,992 to a reception here tonight. 182 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,152 Yeah, one stronzo alien less. 183 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,191 Dr Pratt? 184 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,911 Dr Pratt! 185 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,959 Yes, Lieutenant? -Oh, you scared me again, you got me. 186 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:03,073 You keep on getting me each time, I tell you. This is Marshal Dix. 187 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:07,796 Ah, yes, right on time. I'll never understand these inspections. 188 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,594 What are we looking for this time? -Routine... 189 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:16,589 Perhaps you may be interested in my pi�ce de resistance. 190 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:20,633 Piece of what? -A scale replica of the entire complex. 191 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:25,629 Here's the entrance to the mines... the administration complex... 192 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:30,800 the spaceport... all the details... Now... We are... here. 193 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:35,633 No, no, no, don't touch. Its very delicate. 194 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:40,674 Doctor, the next time you're on Earth, I'll show you 195 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:47,671 the Piper Club model I made. -I'd certainly look forward to that. 196 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:52,718 Here's the report, Doctor Pratt. -Thank you, gentlemen, my assistant, 197 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,672 Yetta Pussel. -Gentlemen... 198 00:20:55,720 --> 00:21:00,714 I took the liberty of requesting a copy of the last routine inspection. 199 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,753 Now, all our research is carried out here. 200 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:09,794 Our study of silicon, for example. Abundant on Earth, non-existent 201 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:14,868 on many other planets. For most Aliens it's life supporting, like food to us. 202 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:20,668 Hence our ongoing conflict with them and our tight security here. 203 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:24,713 Works real good on the old Johnson. -Johnson... President Johnson? 204 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:29,276 There are no Presidents on Vegan. I'm afraid we're being battered 205 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,279 by a mistaken sense of humor. -Alright, my main man Marshal Dix. 206 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:36,312 Okay? -Dr Uschi K�nstler, 207 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:40,239 Senior Base Science Officer. -Doctor? 208 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:44,273 Yes. Of psychology, parapsychology and solar proctology... 209 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:48,393 I also supervise genetic replication... 210 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,752 Clones. -Are those clones? 211 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:56,271 No just plain old-fashioned rabbits. But we've made major advances with sheep. 212 00:21:56,320 --> 00:22:00,393 Molly for instance, was created only yesterday, the exact age and likeness 213 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:04,433 of Dolly, her mother-in-law. -Can you do that with human beings? 214 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:08,473 No, that is not allowed. -It's strictly against international policy. 215 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:12,513 I should hope so. It's against my policy, too. 216 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:17,554 I was in the Marines. -Careful, that's the rapid-cloning switch. 217 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:21,593 You tamper with that, and we'd be overrun 218 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,633 with all kinds of animals. -The officer of Human Alien Affairs, 219 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,434 Miss Menage, will show you your quarters. -I'm headed in that direction. 220 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,632 Maybe, the Marshal and I can go down together and meet her. 221 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:56,472 I just met him. Yes, from what I can see, he'll be absolutely fine... 222 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:31,435 Welcome to Vegan, Marshal Dix... -I'm glad to be here. 223 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:40,798 Oh, the very person we wanted to see. This is Marshal Dix. 224 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,191 Oh! 225 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,589 He is... 226 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,992 he is... here... 227 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,872 on a routine inspection. 228 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,878 Yes, I can see that... 229 00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:04,272 Menage. Cassandra Menage. 230 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,595 The Marshal... 231 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:11,593 needs to be accommodated. Marshal, you can... 232 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,598 let me down now. 233 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:22,353 Perhaps you can take care of his needs. 234 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:29,272 Does he have any needs left to be taken care of? 235 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:34,553 Well, it was nice meeting you Marshal Dix. -Thank you, me too. 236 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,512 Marshal, if you please. I had checked into the room 237 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:44,117 I'd be sharing with Capitaine Di Pasquale. Unpacked my stuff 238 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,153 and then sent Cassandra off to the library to look for plans that might lead us 239 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:52,751 to the location of the cloning lab. And now on with the dead crime-motive sketch 240 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,793 to the alien I had seen on Osgood's recapture screen. 241 00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:01,311 I was ready for a little lunar socializing and snooping. Hey! What are you doing? 242 00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:06,593 I'm your escort, I'm keeping tabs on you. -Take your hand out of my pocket. 243 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:11,668 Keep tabs on somebody else. -Hey champagne. 244 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:26,074 Apparently, some of these aliens learned English by monitoring movies 245 00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:30,113 on our tv transmission satellites. They all sounded like Hollywood actors. 246 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:34,676 Even here everyone wants to be a star. -I saw the Alien that was in the caves. 247 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,837 Yes, me too... 248 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,791 Two? -Yea? 249 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,799 Ah, Marshal Dix, there you are. -How do you do? 250 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:51,914 Commander Sir Cecil Humphrey Wickernuts. My wife, Oona Hottenlocker-Wickernuts. 251 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:55,999 So you're from Washington. I hope you'll put in a good word for us. 252 00:25:56,040 --> 00:26:00,033 What's that? -I found it on the floor. 253 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:05,154 Ah, it's Grop... no, no, no it's Prong, yes... no... 254 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:09,034 You know what they say. They all look alike. 255 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:13,631 We're throwing a party tomorrow at the club. Do join us. 256 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:18,629 Miss Menage here will be singing, too. -What a voice she has! True nightingale... 257 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,148 Thank you. -Miss Menage, 258 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:27,275 enchant�. Excuse us, won't you. There's something I'd like you to look at. 259 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:32,915 Excuse me. -Of course. 260 00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:42,353 So, Marshal Dix, you gonna be my new roomate? 261 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:46,393 Molto bene, you see this is a good way 262 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:51,230 to know where your food has been first. 263 00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:00,872 Excuse me. -Please. 264 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:05,914 I thought you'd like to hear how your Alien Courtesy Center's coming along. 265 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,953 It was your idea, you may remember. Perhaps you'd like to come 266 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,993 and see my renderings. -I'd be happy to... 267 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:18,033 All erections on Vegan are rubber stamped by me, you know. 268 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:21,356 That must keep you busy... 269 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:33,913 Hey there, you ever done it monkey style. 270 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,635 Too bad, could have been a hairy ride. 271 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,472 Oh my God, my dress! 272 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,514 Do like, the music? 273 00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:56,195 I love the sound of the flute. 274 00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,994 Doctor Pratt, is this is yours... 275 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:11,720 Where did you get that? -Fell on the floor. 276 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,471 Thank you... 277 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,598 Come this way. 278 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:26,154 Let's sit here shall we. Miss Menage... 279 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:28,431 Waiter. 280 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,191 Excuse me. 281 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:48,952 I don't think these false eyelashes become you. 282 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:57,033 Bon appetit. -Merci. 283 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,633 Excuse me, Doctor Pratt, Captain Pasquale is going to take me back to the apartment 284 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,673 in a few minutes, you can reach me there, if you need me. Good night. 285 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,598 Good night, Dix. 286 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:32,673 Excuse me. -Yeah. 287 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:38,551 Thanks. I thought I'd never get rid of him. -Leave now, before he gets back. 288 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,592 Okay, I'll go. Thanks. 289 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:48,431 Miss Menage has gone back to her apartment. She's got a headache. 290 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:55,033 Really, well, that's too bad. -Oh, yes, real bad. 291 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:07,671 It is important in life to have two boxes. One for food, and only one for fun. 292 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:13,557 As you can see, I am not only a master of the buffet, I am a master... 293 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:18,033 of disguise. All kinds: look. 294 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:39,754 What? -Oh, the final touch. 295 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:45,875 Now you don't gonna to believe your eyes. Look my special magic maker. 296 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:53,599 You like it. -Ah, very good. -I know. 297 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:57,633 Oh, sorry. Let me un-zip your face. 298 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,712 Oh, the telephone. 299 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,833 -Yes. -I'm at Pratt's. It's all clear. -I got over there 300 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:10,873 faster than a speeding bullet, if you know what I mean. 301 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:15,914 If any plans existed that could lead us to the human cloning lab and the president, 302 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:19,032 I was sure this is were they would be. 303 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:23,033 My job was to get in get the plans 304 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:26,675 and get out as quickly and as quietly as possible. 305 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:08,590 Cassandra, I'm in. -Roger. 306 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,112 It's all clear down here. 307 00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:34,231 Oh... 308 00:34:28,240 --> 00:34:32,836 I saw lights flashing in your office. And somebody was dancing the can-can. 309 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,872 Right. Let's have a look, shall we? 310 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:39,913 It's Pratt. -I'm coming. I'm on my way. 311 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,038 What kind of man would do something like that? 312 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:24,193 I know exactly what kind, Doctor K�nstler. 313 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:30,556 And I promise you, he going to pay dearly for this... 314 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,591 very dearly. 315 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:03,080 Who is it? -This is Dr Pratt. 316 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:07,113 I want a few words with you, Marshal. -Yes. 317 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:11,551 I don't have all day, Dix. Just open the door, will you? 318 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:14,160 I'll be a moment, Doctor Pratt. 319 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:20,793 Open the door! -Just putting on my trousers, 320 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:23,593 just putting on my trousers. 321 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:28,713 Ah, just cleaning yourself up, are you Marshal? 322 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:33,834 You are shaving, aren't you? -Yes, I shave my whole face. 323 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:37,873 My wiskars grow pretty fast. I start very early when have important function 324 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:42,914 to attend to, like the one this evening. Come in, come in. 325 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:47,750 Oh, good to see you. -Let go of my hand Dix! 326 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:51,793 What are you doing? You fool, let go of me. What are you doing to me? 327 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:57,597 Look at me. What are you doing. Dix you imbicile, stop it! 328 00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:01,633 There is something I want you to know... I know who you are 329 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:07,755 and I know why you're here... But you will never going to find him! 330 00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:40,472 The man behind the whole thing is Dr Griffen Pratt. He has told me 331 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:44,513 he got the President prisoner, even challenged me to go find him. 332 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:48,553 He's as guilty as jam lips kissing a fruit tart. -Pratt. 333 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:52,673 We have to be very careful. -Yea. 334 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:57,672 I'm going to change now. See you later. 335 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:05,192 I think I'll skip this one. 336 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:14,116 You and Shitzu, keep an eye on Dr Pratt. -Ok. 337 00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:25,033 Please, Marshal Dix wants us to keep an eye on Dr Pratt. Capito! Micione. 338 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:28,470 Pratt? Why doctor Pratt. -I don't know. 339 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:33,036 But I do know what I better do right now. 340 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,516 Excuse me. Oh, what a line. 341 00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:57,871 Your Majesties and Humble Beings. Let's hear a warm Vegan welcome 342 00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:02,948 for our star attraction: Miss Cassandra Menage! 343 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:43,394 I didn't think anyone could take my mind off of Pratt, 344 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:47,433 but suddenly there she was: On stage, 345 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:51,473 a woman who could take anyone's mind off of anything. 346 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:55,513 She had deep nurturing instincts and strong family things that make her 347 00:39:55,560 --> 00:40:00,270 an ideal mother for an child. Cassandra was a nightingale. 348 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:04,593 The old saying, wet birds never fly at night, 349 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,474 I think she could fly anytime she wanted to. 350 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:18,033 There he was, Dr Griffin Pratt. A man who could ruin 351 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:22,073 anyone's wet dream. Suave, cool with all the moves 352 00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:26,113 of a slick ballroom dancer. 353 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:30,153 It was time for Dr Pratt to find out that he'd met his match, 354 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:34,671 his intellectual equal. I was about to arrange that introduction. 355 00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:38,713 Doctor Pratt... you said to me, I know why you're here 356 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:44,118 and I know what you want. We'll there's something I want you to know, so do I. 357 00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:48,153 So do I? -Yes, know why I'm here, know what I want. 358 00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:52,193 We stand here facing each other like Chief Ten Bears and Josey Wales. 359 00:40:52,240 --> 00:40:56,233 Chief Ten Bears? -He would say, There is iron in your words 360 00:40:56,280 --> 00:41:00,273 that you know, as there is iron in my words that I know. As there's iron in the words 361 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:04,313 that your living that you don't know it. Turn back to Ten Bears before it's too late. 362 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:08,353 Chief Ten...? -Ten Bears. 363 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,995 And the other one? -Josey Wales. Who is he? 364 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:15,032 Clint Eastwood. -Clint Eastwood... 365 00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:21,599 you are a very convincing thinker, Marshal. Let me get back to you. On this one. 366 00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:25,599 Out of order, it's thirty minutes I've been waiting here. 367 00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:45,793 You man stand clear, stand clear. -What is it? Another Alien Conversion? 368 00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:52,075 Close enough... 369 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:33,152 What's the celebration about? -You'd be giggy too, bro, 370 00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:37,591 if you only dumped once a year. -Where's Pasquale. 371 00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,632 I hate aliens. 372 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:48,390 Why do they have eat fama beans, fangulo? 373 00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:54,232 Okay fellas, now come on, you've been over-served here. 374 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,431 Marshal, Marshal. -Yes. 375 00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:22,235 I have to speak to you. -Is this some kind of performance? 376 00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:27,035 He's a cyborg, it happens all the time, I'll to put him back together tomorrow, 377 00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,072 he's going to be just fine. Come on, I need to talk to you. 378 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:38,630 Make yourself at home. I'm gonna be right back. 379 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:56,755 Hello. 380 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:06,108 Something's going on. 381 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:10,153 I don't know who's behind it. I don't know what they're doing, 382 00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:14,193 or why they're doing it. All I know is, I know, 383 00:44:14,240 --> 00:44:18,358 I want you to know. 384 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:22,712 Well, I'm glad you told me. -Marshal, I know exactly why you're here. 385 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:26,036 I can help you, 386 00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,432 but therefore you have to trust me. 387 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,992 Did you know that a male lion 388 00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:40,114 can mate forty-five times in three hours? 389 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:44,312 I don't have a lion. I don't even have a dog. 390 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:21,954 One of the advantages of working undercover, was that sometimes things got uncovered 391 00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:25,993 that you didn't expect to get uncovered, and you learned about things 392 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:31,034 that you didn't expect to learn about. Whatever Dr Kunstler was trying to hide, 393 00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:35,995 she sure wasn't doing a very good job. -Anything you mind, Dick? 394 00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:39,589 No, I'm not even thinking. 395 00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:43,476 Doctor K�nstler! Get a grip! 396 00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:50,073 That does it, it's time you went home. -I am at home. 397 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:53,635 It's time I went home. -Stay... 398 00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:57,673 Don't you want to find out the rest? -No, the stuff about the lion, 399 00:45:57,720 --> 00:46:00,757 that was good enough for me. 400 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:10,795 There you are! At last you come! 401 00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:16,913 My God, is that all you people do up here in the evenings? 402 00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:20,953 It is good for the lip, Marshal, a nice, sweet, warm decaf, 403 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:25,118 non-fat latte, a touch of mocha, no foam. 404 00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:27,674 Do you want some? -No, thank you. 405 00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:31,713 I came by to see how Valentino was doing after that dreadful thing at the club. 406 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:35,230 Pretty bad, huh? -I also told him 407 00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:38,989 about the President being a prisoner. We need all the assistance we can get. 408 00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:43,033 Yeah, but... -The elephant is sitting on my lips. 409 00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:47,596 I say nothing to Lieutenant Shitzu. -I saw you leave the club with Dr K�nstler. 410 00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:50,632 What happened? -Oh... nothing! 411 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:54,673 Strange young lady. Another wild goose chase. 412 00:46:54,720 --> 00:46:59,589 I don't know about the wild goose, but the chase looks like it was very exciting. 413 00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:06,591 No, it is a little cold in here, I think I'll have some of that hot coffee. 414 00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:13,313 My God! Someones' stolen my zipper! 415 00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:24,110 I thought I said no contact. -I know sir. 416 00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:28,153 But I am now convinced the President is here and is being held prisoner. 417 00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:32,193 The man behind it is Doctor Griffin Pratt. -Are you sure? -I'm positive. 418 00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:38,793 Send in the Galactic National Guard. -Who is it? 419 00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:42,833 No! That would sign the President's death warrant. 420 00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:46,873 You must handle this with Miss Menage. Confront Pratt, threaten him, anything. 421 00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:50,913 But work fast. The President's life is at stake, to say nothing of our planet. 422 00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:55,750 What this impostor will say at conference in Paris on Friday, God only knows. 423 00:47:55,800 --> 00:48:00,351 Momento. Don't you think for a minute that Marshal Dix is doing nothing up here. 424 00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:05,076 He's dealing with one of the most important man of the American government. 425 00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:10,114 This guy, lives in a big white house, but I can't tell you who is him. 426 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,271 Cassandra? 427 00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:24,991 Cassandra? 428 00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:01,473 Wait a minute, you mean the President is a prisoner here on Vegan? 429 00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:05,513 How did you know? -You just told us, man. 430 00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:08,120 -Ah, fangulu, I did not. -Yes you did! -I did? -Yes. 431 00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:16,633 Doctor Griffin Pratt. -I hope you don't think there's anything 432 00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:20,673 you've missed the other night, Marshal. -Just one thing, you, you're under arrest, 433 00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:24,713 you have the right to remain silent... -Before you say another word, 434 00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:28,753 there's something I want you to know. I was ordered to reconstitute the President. 435 00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:31,792 Reconstitute? What does that mean? -First... 436 00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:35,833 drain all his body fluids... -What's that? Some sort of enema? 437 00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:40,351 No, no, no, drain all his blood. Then reconstitute it into refined plasma, 438 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:44,598 ready to activate, the clone. -Well... wouldn't that kill him? 439 00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:48,633 Most certainly. -I thought so. The thought of killing the President 440 00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:52,673 has kept me up all night. Well, to be perfectly honest, 441 00:49:52,720 --> 00:49:56,713 I may have dozen off, so at least half the night. 442 00:49:56,760 --> 00:50:01,231 I don't know how I let this happen. I feel like I was drugged or brain-washed 443 00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:06,035 or whatever they did to me. But your words about Chief Ten Bears 444 00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:09,072 and Josey Eastwood... -Clint Eastwood. Eastwood... 445 00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:13,636 brought me to my senses and I must undo the damage I've done! 446 00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:18,390 I want to take you to the President and help you get him out of here. But fast. 447 00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:22,433 Faster than you think. I just came from Cassandra's apartment. 448 00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:26,473 She's been kidnapped. -Kidnapped? Abducted? 449 00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:31,196 Up till now it's a simple kidnapping. She left a note on her door in glue. 450 00:50:31,240 --> 00:50:36,598 See it says Help, spelled backwards, H.E.L.P. 451 00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:42,795 We'd better get moving. There may be two lives we have to save. 452 00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:47,599 This is the easiest way to get to the President. 453 00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:51,315 But don't touch that button. 454 00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:59,191 Follow me... 455 00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:11,473 Put this on, you'll be less conspicuous. 456 00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:29,114 Mr. Dix, meet the President. 457 00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:38,515 Mr. President, is that really you? 458 00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:42,873 That depends on what you mean by is. 459 00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:46,913 ... are that really you? -Of course it's me. 460 00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:51,158 I keep telling these people about my birthmark. Here, take a look. 461 00:51:55,080 --> 00:52:00,074 I'm the only man with a birthmark like that. Almost a perfect four-leaf clover. 462 00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:04,636 It does look like a four-leaf clover. -If that isn't sufficient, 463 00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:08,958 then give me the name of someone who plays the sax as good as this. 464 00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:12,993 Mr. President, I'm convinced. My name is Marshal Dix, 465 00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:16,999 International Security Force. I'm here to take you back to Washington 466 00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:20,032 where you belong. -Great. Yea. 467 00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,871 Cassandra! 468 00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,912 When did you get here? 469 00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:39,158 Surely, you didn't think it was going to be as easy as all that, did you, Dix? 470 00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:44,194 Now, do you wish to become a Rodman or a Rodham? 471 00:52:44,240 --> 00:52:48,233 I see the President is getting upset. Perhaps we should switch him 472 00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:52,432 with Cassandra. -Alright, that's he does it! 473 00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:56,473 You're under arrest! And so are these bozos, here. 474 00:52:56,520 --> 00:53:01,514 You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be written down... 475 00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:03,551 Seize them! 476 00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:15,270 Such grace... Such property... 477 00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:19,313 What a cunning stunt. 478 00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:22,352 Any move and I'll ripe your faces off. 479 00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:27,394 I was a sucker for that romantic talk. This young woman 480 00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:31,433 could not only sing like a dove, she was blessed with a serene peace 481 00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:35,473 that would have been at home in a Tibetan monastery. 482 00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:40,514 She had everything: the delicate footwork of a ballet dancer, 483 00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:45,554 the high-kicks of a Rockette. Boy, did I love those high-kicks. 484 00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:51,914 Very impressive. But now as they say, it's your turn to bite the dust. 485 00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:58,513 I'm glad you were here. I feel safe with you. 486 00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:04,317 Let's not talk about me. We gotta get out of here. Follow her, Mr. President. 487 00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:11,913 Captain Pasquale. See if you can locate Lieutenant Shitzu and doctor Kunstler. 488 00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:16,954 Meet us in front of the research center. We're heading for Washington D.C. 489 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:20,959 and the White House and bring your make-up case. 490 00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:25,278 Who was this guy? -Come on, all of you, Rupert up again, 491 00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:29,871 come on Kubrick, pull yourself together, up, that's it, good boys, good boys. 492 00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:33,230 No, no, wait, let them go. 493 00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:40,311 Di pasquale worked hard and fast to disguise the President as Fidel Castro, 494 00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:45,036 or ZZ Top, take your pick. Anyway, it was the perfect way 495 00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:49,119 to get to Washington. -It's me, it's me. 496 00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:55,235 Oh sorry. Step back. Please. -I wonder if ZZ Top needs a sax player? 497 00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:18,233 It was good to see Washington D.C. again, but this was no time to sightsee. 498 00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:22,592 In couple of days, that clone-clown would be shooting his mouth off in Paris. 499 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:26,633 I'd contracted Secretary Osgood. He came up with a water tight plan 500 00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:30,673 to make the switch. -Okay guys, time for me 501 00:55:30,720 --> 00:55:34,076 to shake hands with little willie. 502 00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:39,912 Marshal, did you bring an umbrella? -No, just grab him before he takes aim. 503 00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:56,593 Di Pasquale disguised the President that nobody would think twice about. 504 00:55:56,640 --> 00:56:01,077 A dirty old man. 505 00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:02,678 Yes. 506 00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:07,033 At the Three Tenors Gala Concert in Paris this Friday night, 507 00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:11,596 following the International Heads of State Conference, 508 00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:15,633 I will announce changes that will benefit 509 00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:19,639 the future of our world forever. -Good job. Well done, everyone. 510 00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:23,673 Now all that remains is to get our friend off to clone heaven. 511 00:56:23,720 --> 00:56:27,713 We kept Earth to ourselves for far too long. -What? 512 00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:30,479 Hey, that's Doctor Pratt? -Yea, yea, it's-a him! 513 00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:34,513 We must be willing to reach out... 514 00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:39,839 Please, there are forces at work here, let's just forget about it and move on. 515 00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:43,919 Now if someone will give me a hand getting our imposter out of here... 516 00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:47,953 Wait. This is moving a little too fast. I think there are forces at work. 517 00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:51,993 But I think that they're our own. More than possible, 518 00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:56,033 that we've been set up to put clone in the White House... 519 00:56:56,080 --> 00:57:00,073 And take the real President out. -Right. 520 00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:04,113 Why are you the President? -Because of the birthmark! 521 00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:08,153 When you're cloned, your birthmark is cloned, too. 522 00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:12,193 But I don't have a birthmark! I had it removed three months ago. 523 00:57:12,240 --> 00:57:17,109 Personal reasons. If you'll give me a little help, I'll show you. 524 00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:27,268 Oh, my God! -Doctor K�nstler, 525 00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:31,916 the birthmark should be on the side! -You see where there used to be something, 526 00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:36,590 but now there is no birthmark there now. -There is a simple solution. 527 00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:40,758 One dead president. -So it's not just Doctor Pratt, 528 00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:43,792 it's you, too. -Very good, Dix. 529 00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:50,959 Now that really is a job well done. -Not well enough done, Mr. President. 530 00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:55,994 Do you have anyone you can trust who can get us to Paris? -Yes. 531 00:57:56,960 --> 00:58:00,953 The President's plan was genuine but his travel plans didn't fly. 532 00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:06,757 Then suddenly our luck turned full circle and we were airborn. 533 00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:14,633 The job was to undo what I had already undone. There was the president, 534 00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:18,673 and he had a birthmark on his left hip to prove it. 535 00:58:18,720 --> 00:58:22,713 We had the real president 536 00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:26,753 but he had removed the birthmark, so we couldn't prove anything. 537 00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:30,793 How it would be all worked out, I didn't know, but I did know 538 00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:35,152 that the President had to make every effort to keep his pants on. 539 00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:49,556 Thank you very much. Thank you, thank you. 540 00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:51,591 Bonjour, bonjour. 541 00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:56,430 C, what is a four letter word for word? 542 00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:03,633 Do you have reservation. -I have reservations about being asked 543 00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:07,355 about if we have reservations. In America they have Indians, 544 00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:11,951 they have reservations, but no one asks if they have them. 545 00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:23,949 What is that? -That is a hockey cup. 546 00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:28,152 Yea, we use it to play sand hockey in the desert... 547 00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:31,590 Do you have identification. -Well, yea... 548 00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:36,270 Ah, prince yaboty of Jabooty, good to see you son, 549 00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:39,039 take this, it's me Shitzu... 550 00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:42,079 Good to see you. Oh my god. 551 00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:48,793 Doctor Pratt wouldn't look under this. -You look too conspicuous. 552 00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:52,833 Me, how about you? That arab accent sounds kind of German. 553 01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:07,719 Ah, really, it is a rat trap... 554 01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:11,719 Do you have an invitation? -Yes, of coarse. 555 01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:19,432 The artist formerly known as... 556 01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:23,393 It is Prince, in disguise. Excuse me Mr. Formally known as, 557 01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:27,473 smile please. Wait, you're not the artist 558 01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:32,310 formely known as Prince. The real artist is over here. 559 01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:39,317 My God, it's the Pope. Come on Dix, let's get out of here before he corners us. 560 01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:43,072 They serve Italian dinner tonight. 561 01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:46,152 I think I'll have the Toreodor. 562 01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:59,230 Yabooty, yabooty, you camel, pay me what you owe me. 563 01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:15,153 Keep a low profile. Did he call me a camel. 564 01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:27,713 They wanted you to play a saxophone solo after which intermission? 565 01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:32,754 The White House itinerary said after the first intermission that I would 566 01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:37,271 appear magically on stage through a trap-door. But we don't have a sax. 567 01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:40,756 We will. -Hey hello, 568 01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:44,713 do you want to taste an ice-cream, it's very, very good. Here, take it. 569 01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:49,273 Or maybe you like vanillia, vanillia is wonderful, 570 01:01:49,320 --> 01:01:53,438 the best Italien ice flavor. Pistachio, bonissimo. You like ice cream. 571 01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:57,075 No. -No, thank you very much. 572 01:01:59,920 --> 01:02:02,229 Gelati, gelati, gelati! 573 01:02:17,360 --> 01:02:20,352 Mon sax. Voleur. 574 01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:37,753 Ice cream, gelat�, italiana, chocolato, vanillia, gorgonzola... 575 01:02:37,800 --> 01:02:41,793 Oh signore, congratulations. This is a great ice cream, it.... 576 01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:45,833 Sir, you will have to move! -Please. Let it go. 577 01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:52,318 Shit! 578 01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:58,269 I'm sorry Ms. President, I'm really sorry. -No, no, it was only an accident. 579 01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:02,313 You see, it was only an accident. -Okay, we got this, go back to work. 580 01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:06,353 Thanks for stopping by. -I see our friends are here. 581 01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:13,112 Do you want an ice cream. -I think we'd better alert the police. 582 01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:21,989 I think I better go check to find out what's going on. 583 01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:28,228 The gang's all here. 584 01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:33,591 Oh, ice cream. 585 01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:40,714 One is disguised as an ice cream vendor, the other as a French police officer. 586 01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:43,479 What, merde! -Inspector Wazoo, 587 01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:47,035 the President's life may be at stake. 588 01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:52,668 We will search zi place from top to bottom. Allons! Vite! Allons! Casse-toi! 589 01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:56,713 We knew where they were at the hotel in Washington, didn't we, Osgood? 590 01:03:56,760 --> 01:04:00,753 You had to be there. You were busy being the man in the moon. I was there. 591 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:05,794 They only can make the switch under the stage at the trap-door lifts. 592 01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:09,833 Let's take a look, shall we? -Let's go get your saxophone 593 01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:14,237 and check backstage. -What did the Japanese delegation say? 594 01:04:14,280 --> 01:04:18,273 Oh, you can't understand a word they say. They said, would I enjoy sushi. 595 01:04:18,320 --> 01:04:23,030 Well I said sure thing man, send Suzi to my room. 596 01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:28,518 Oh, I'm just kidding, you could trust me baby. 597 01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:26,430 Hey, this is no a rap concert. I hate Opera. 598 01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:42,673 Take this. -Ditch the Arab disguises. 599 01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:46,713 They're checking everyone. 600 01:06:08,280 --> 01:06:12,193 Maybe there'll be some costumes under the stage? 601 01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:18,039 Are you okay? 602 01:06:18,840 --> 01:06:22,833 Where are we? -Under the stage. Do you think, the roof? 603 01:06:22,880 --> 01:06:25,758 There must be something in here, 604 01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:29,913 now you stay in that outfit, so keep your face covered. 605 01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:34,033 There must be something here for me. So we won't look so much like a team. 606 01:06:34,080 --> 01:06:37,072 That a good idea, Dix. 607 01:06:37,120 --> 01:06:40,476 It's mostly woman's clothes in here. 608 01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:45,351 Allo? 609 01:06:48,160 --> 01:06:51,596 Allo? -Oui, oui, oui... allo! 610 01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:55,993 That's what I call a really nice prop there Maestro. 611 01:06:56,040 --> 01:07:01,068 Maestro, is it that you? -Yea, yea, it's the Maestro? 612 01:07:01,720 --> 01:07:05,395 Oh, I heard zis crash! Are you alright? 613 01:07:05,760 --> 01:07:10,629 It was an accident. I'm a-changing my robes, 614 01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:15,674 as Pharaoh to the robe I use for singing for farrow in the Aida. 615 01:07:15,720 --> 01:07:18,598 Oh... pardon. 616 01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:24,391 Oh la l�! 617 01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:28,433 I told you they were not right. 618 01:07:28,480 --> 01:07:32,473 You know this is probably zee wrong time. But could you just 619 01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:37,150 sing une petit note, a little note per... 620 01:07:37,200 --> 01:07:38,474 Si, si. 621 01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:42,991 Molto grande, molto grande, molto grande, Clementine. 622 01:07:45,080 --> 01:07:49,790 you gone and I lost forever, molto grande, clementine. 623 01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:56,473 Merci, I'm sorry, these are for yours. -No, no, you keep them, as a memento, 624 01:07:56,520 --> 01:08:01,799 they are not the right condom for my beard. 625 01:08:01,840 --> 01:08:05,230 Merci, I will cherish these. -Arrividerci. 626 01:08:05,280 --> 01:08:08,511 Merci. -Pronto di salami. -Chow. 627 01:08:08,560 --> 01:08:12,872 Pasta di fasa-ota. 628 01:08:29,560 --> 01:08:33,792 What is this? -The platform. Up and down, up and down. 629 01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,758 What the hell is this? 630 01:09:01,400 --> 01:09:04,995 Pardon, pardon. You 'ave piss? -Well, I had one three hours ago. 631 01:09:05,040 --> 01:09:09,033 Does that count? -Show me your piss. 632 01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:12,231 What? -You need a big-stodge piss. 633 01:09:12,280 --> 01:09:14,589 Backstage... Okay... 634 01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:23,952 I think he said backstage pass... 635 01:09:27,680 --> 01:09:30,672 Don't touch the control panel. 636 01:09:30,720 --> 01:09:34,554 Zis is where everything is controlled. 637 01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:49,031 No one will get pissed while I am here. 638 01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:54,991 Fix the controls. 639 01:11:59,200 --> 01:12:03,193 If it looks like they're going to succeed, 640 01:12:03,240 --> 01:12:07,711 kill the President... the real one that is. 641 01:12:21,400 --> 01:12:25,393 I want them found and seized. -There is no one... 642 01:12:25,440 --> 01:12:29,433 Ah, shut up you fool! I got and a rest now 643 01:12:29,480 --> 01:12:33,473 and then changing my costumes for the second act. When I come back, 644 01:12:33,520 --> 01:12:37,513 you had better have caught them or else... schnip, clip, swish. 645 01:12:37,560 --> 01:12:39,551 Capice? 646 01:12:42,600 --> 01:12:46,991 You know the story about the women in the doctors office. She says, I'm sick. 647 01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:51,033 He says, well here, let me take your temperature through your rectum. 648 01:12:51,080 --> 01:12:56,029 What is a going on here. I am an outrage. 649 01:12:56,920 --> 01:13:01,789 Oh Maestro, oh I have to thank you again for this. 650 01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:05,833 You see I have kept it close to my heart. -What are you talking about, 651 01:13:05,880 --> 01:13:09,634 I didn't give you anything. Besides my condoms are engraved 652 01:13:09,920 --> 01:13:14,072 with my portrait and covered with fur. These are counterfeit! 653 01:13:14,120 --> 01:13:19,717 Now out of my way! -Oh, counterfeit, Maestro. 654 01:13:25,320 --> 01:13:29,313 Doctor Kunstler is one of them. She's a superspy. 655 01:13:29,360 --> 01:13:33,353 I told you she was a supp... suppository. 656 01:13:33,400 --> 01:13:36,119 I knew she was in bed with Pratt. -What? And she had me in her apartment. 657 01:13:36,160 --> 01:13:40,153 She danced for me, rubbed her body all over mine. Used her tongue. 658 01:13:40,200 --> 01:13:44,830 The slut, a lap dance. -Could have been... Lappland, Finland... 659 01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:48,873 Then she told me about the lion. They mate forty-five times in three hours. 660 01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:52,913 How many times? -You just keep your eyes on Kunstler. 661 01:13:52,960 --> 01:13:55,952 She has order to kill the President. 662 01:13:56,000 --> 01:13:59,470 She gets up on the tables. He gets behind her. 663 01:13:59,520 --> 01:14:03,229 Wardrobe! Wardrobe! Where is my costume? 664 01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:07,273 I know it was here. I hung it myself. -And I'll hang you myself, 665 01:14:07,320 --> 01:14:11,313 if you don't find it. -Luciano! They came to hear you sing, 666 01:14:11,360 --> 01:14:15,353 not see your clothes. -You think the French won't notice 667 01:14:15,400 --> 01:14:20,394 if I'm on an Italian battlefield fighting the Germans wearing American boxer shorts? 668 01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:31,198 ''Hey doctor, that's not my rectum.'' ''Yea, that's ain't my thermometer either.'' 669 01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:36,195 Mr. President, we're ready for you now: 670 01:14:36,240 --> 01:14:41,837 Well, I'm on. -Good luck snookums. 671 01:14:46,680 --> 01:14:51,629 no more birthmark games tonight, just remember, you don't have one anymore, 672 01:14:51,680 --> 01:14:55,673 but there's a clone and he does have it. So you just keep your pants on tonight 673 01:14:55,720 --> 01:14:59,713 and keep your fingers crossed that Osgood won't remember what he thought 674 01:14:59,760 --> 01:15:04,754 he saw in the hotel, thought he didn't see what he thought he saw 675 01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:09,271 in the hotel, I was right the first time. 676 01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:14,314 First the condoms, now my costume. And you still haven't found them. 677 01:15:14,360 --> 01:15:17,875 Your robe. -Sure. Skuzi. 678 01:15:19,680 --> 01:15:24,674 Or rather, that he doesn't know what he thought didn't see in the hotel. 679 01:15:24,720 --> 01:15:28,269 he didn't see the birthmark and... 680 01:15:31,120 --> 01:15:35,989 Monsieur le President. Everything is chicked and ready. 681 01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:41,194 blow your instrument with cuntfidence, knowing that I am holding the fart. 682 01:15:57,080 --> 01:16:01,198 Thank you, thank you, and now, Ladies and Gentlemen, 683 01:16:01,240 --> 01:16:04,755 it gives me great pleasure to introduce our surprise guest. 684 01:16:19,640 --> 01:16:23,428 So far so good. -Don't be a pessimist. 685 01:16:29,840 --> 01:16:34,038 I like the way he blows his horn -My son like to tute too. 686 01:16:37,880 --> 01:16:39,871 Let's go! 687 01:16:45,080 --> 01:16:47,594 You alright? 688 01:16:49,760 --> 01:16:53,070 Here, catch the saxophone. 689 01:17:04,320 --> 01:17:07,312 So, now? -I'll lower the trap door. 690 01:17:07,360 --> 01:17:11,399 You get on it, go up and I'll bring the clone down and put the arm on him. 691 01:17:40,000 --> 01:17:40,989 What? 692 01:17:52,360 --> 01:17:56,353 You messed up things for the last time. 693 01:18:00,640 --> 01:18:02,278 Yes! 694 01:18:28,760 --> 01:18:31,433 �a va merde! 695 01:18:33,120 --> 01:18:35,588 'oo is 'oo? 696 01:18:37,440 --> 01:18:40,432 We have here, two President. 697 01:18:41,280 --> 01:18:45,353 Two of them, my gosh, this could be an interns nightmare. 698 01:18:45,400 --> 01:18:47,595 Two, identicule. 699 01:18:48,880 --> 01:18:52,873 Identical, yes... But are our memories the same? 700 01:18:52,920 --> 01:18:57,516 Here's something I composed when I was six years old. No one knows it. 701 01:19:11,760 --> 01:19:15,355 So, now who is the real President? 702 01:19:16,520 --> 01:19:21,196 Okay... How about this one? I learned it yesterday. 703 01:19:45,040 --> 01:19:50,160 Not so good, huh! There's your clone. He remember everything about my life, 704 01:19:50,200 --> 01:19:54,318 Until the time he was cloned and nothing after that. 705 01:19:54,360 --> 01:20:00,356 Right, there's your clone, Dr Pratt. -You're the one who did this to me. 706 01:20:00,400 --> 01:20:04,393 I'm going to destroy you. You hear me. 707 01:20:13,040 --> 01:20:16,032 What... -Lord, give me a sign. 708 01:20:17,960 --> 01:20:19,951 You've got mail. 709 01:20:22,640 --> 01:20:26,633 God says, let there be music, on with the show. 710 01:20:39,040 --> 01:20:43,352 So much for taking over the world! -I just wanted to rid the world of idiots. 711 01:21:52,680 --> 01:21:54,671 Look out! 712 01:21:55,560 --> 01:21:58,552 Oh that's going to leave a mark. 713 01:22:36,440 --> 01:22:39,671 The solution is, kill the President. 714 01:22:57,640 --> 01:23:00,632 Holy shit baby. 715 01:23:23,040 --> 01:23:25,600 Hasta Lavista baby. 716 01:23:37,480 --> 01:23:42,031 Ladies and Gentlemen, This may have been the greatest save of all time... 717 01:23:42,080 --> 01:23:46,073 and the man responsible for this, 718 01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:51,717 is from Interplanetary Security: Marshal 'Dick' Dix. 719 01:23:56,880 --> 01:24:00,919 Thank you, Mr. President. -You're very welcome Marshal Dix 720 01:24:00,960 --> 01:24:03,952 and the world thanks you. 721 01:24:33,120 --> 01:24:37,636 Now I knew what it was like to be a roman candle on the 4th of July. 722 01:24:37,680 --> 01:24:42,117 But this hero stuff was not for me. I was ready to get back on the beat, 723 01:24:42,160 --> 01:24:47,154 hear the wail of sirens and my gun and play with my handcuff 724 01:24:47,200 --> 01:24:51,193 Yes, I was ready to plant my flag back in Washington D.C. 725 01:24:51,240 --> 01:24:55,233 where every congressmen has the constitutional right to be a felon. 726 01:24:55,280 --> 01:24:58,272 Good old America. 727 01:25:10,200 --> 01:25:12,589 Here's your soup Sir. 728 01:25:13,040 --> 01:25:17,033 Mmm, smells great. 729 01:25:17,080 --> 01:25:20,993 Well, I want to drink a toast. 730 01:25:24,280 --> 01:25:27,636 I want to drink a toast to you. 731 01:25:33,680 --> 01:25:37,673 No to you. You've made the world a safe place again. 732 01:25:37,720 --> 01:25:43,670 Well your high kicks, help out pretty good there, too, you know. 733 01:25:43,720 --> 01:25:46,996 How are things on Vegan? I hear you've gotten a promotion. 734 01:25:50,440 --> 01:25:55,309 Yes, I'm responsible for all new erections. 735 01:25:56,440 --> 01:26:00,433 Congratulations, I'm not a bit surprised. 736 01:26:00,480 --> 01:26:05,474 I love spending my vacations here on earth. This place is so peaceful... 737 01:26:05,520 --> 01:26:09,513 the ocean... the music... The product placements... 738 01:26:16,240 --> 01:26:18,595 Are you alright? 739 01:26:24,360 --> 01:26:27,352 Just picking my teeth. 740 01:26:28,800 --> 01:26:34,079 There's something I need to tell you. I see dead people. 741 01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:40,675 What? -I see dead people. Look. 742 01:26:40,720 --> 01:26:42,711 David Bowie. 743 01:26:42,760 --> 01:26:47,754 Our dessert specials today are silicon hooter pie with whipped cream, for you. 744 01:26:47,800 --> 01:26:52,316 We have silicon-lips ice cream, for you. -And we've got guns, 745 01:26:52,360 --> 01:26:55,158 big guns, for you. 746 01:26:55,200 --> 01:26:59,193 Guns, big guns, those aren't guns... 747 01:26:59,920 --> 01:27:01,911 This is a gun. 748 01:27:08,760 --> 01:27:13,709 Oh, Marshal, you've made the world a safe place again, again. 749 01:27:13,760 --> 01:27:17,753 Your so wonderful, you know you could be my father. 750 01:27:17,800 --> 01:27:22,510 Oh, no, no. That concert was the first time I was in France, ever. 751 01:27:22,560 --> 01:27:24,551 Oh, Richard. 752 01:27:36,960 --> 01:27:42,956 Subtitles: VICOMEDIA 11/2002