1 00:00:35,672 --> 00:00:38,606 JAMES: Okay. Life lesson. 2 00:00:38,712 --> 00:00:39,639 A lot of people think 3 00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:42,769 the moment a parent lets go of their child is at the wedding. 4 00:00:42,871 --> 00:00:44,627 Not me. 5 00:00:44,727 --> 00:00:47,182 Think he's crying because he's giving away his daughter? 6 00:00:47,288 --> 00:00:48,302 Uh-uh. 7 00:00:48,408 --> 00:00:50,896 It's because she's marrying this guy. 8 00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:56,724 Truth is, he said goodbye years ago, the day she left home. 9 00:00:56,823 --> 00:01:00,119 The trouble starts here. College application season. 10 00:01:00,824 --> 00:01:03,857 With over 4,000 colleges in the US, 11 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:07,888 I developed five reasons for choosing the perfect one for my little girl. 12 00:01:08,183 --> 00:01:11,282 Academics, distance from home, 13 00:01:11,384 --> 00:01:14,417 campus safety, distance from home, 14 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,625 and last but not least, 15 00:01:16,727 --> 00:01:18,254 distance from home. 16 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:22,550 Which led us to the best choice. Northwestern. 17 00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:24,371 Forty miles from our house. 18 00:01:24,472 --> 00:01:26,097 Safe, great education. 19 00:01:26,839 --> 00:01:29,687 I can get there in 28 minutes, clocked. 20 00:01:31,448 --> 00:01:33,749 Now, you can never start a plan too early. 21 00:01:35,415 --> 00:01:38,579 I'm James Porter, Police Chief, 22 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:42,771 husband, dad, and the best part of my plan? 23 00:01:42,872 --> 00:01:46,287 When Melanie finished high school, she'd be going to Northwestern. 24 00:01:46,808 --> 00:01:48,750 (EXCLAIMING) 25 00:01:53,944 --> 00:01:55,984 You're in! You in! 26 00:01:56,824 --> 00:01:58,133 (INAUDIBLE) 27 00:02:04,535 --> 00:02:05,518 (BEATING GAVEL) 28 00:02:06,231 --> 00:02:09,941 Counsel for the defense will now make her closing statement. 29 00:02:11,928 --> 00:02:15,822 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client, Mr. Wolf, 30 00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:19,342 has been accused of horrible crimes. 31 00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:21,422 - Destruction of property... - That's my baby. 32 00:02:21,528 --> 00:02:22,804 I know that's right. 33 00:02:22,903 --> 00:02:26,864 - But he is innocent of both. - Objection! Speculative. 34 00:02:26,967 --> 00:02:30,415 I'll allow it. Proceed. 35 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:35,124 The State has not presented a single shred of conclusive evidence. 36 00:02:35,224 --> 00:02:39,282 Yes, there is a house made of sticks, and one of straw, 37 00:02:39,383 --> 00:02:42,863 but they were both built to code. 38 00:02:42,967 --> 00:02:44,756 That being said, 39 00:02:44,855 --> 00:02:48,052 a huff and a puff is not enough! 40 00:02:48,152 --> 00:02:49,329 Let me hear you say it. 41 00:02:49,431 --> 00:02:52,530 ALL: A huff and a puff is not enough! 42 00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:55,730 - Objection! - JUDGE: To what? 43 00:02:55,832 --> 00:02:57,009 Rhyming? 44 00:02:57,239 --> 00:02:58,450 (BEATING GAVEL) 45 00:02:58,551 --> 00:03:01,683 Mr. Foreman, have you reached a decision? 46 00:03:01,783 --> 00:03:03,212 We have, Your Honor. 47 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,320 We find the defendant not guilty. 48 00:03:10,263 --> 00:03:12,052 (EXCLAIMING) 49 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,134 - Congratulations! - Thank you. 50 00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:19,127 - Congratulations. - Thanks, Katie. 51 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:20,974 My turn! 52 00:03:21,079 --> 00:03:22,028 (EXCLAIMING) 53 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,339 Daddy's girl! 54 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:25,934 (CHUCKLES) Baby. 55 00:03:26,135 --> 00:03:27,084 Oh! 56 00:03:27,191 --> 00:03:28,173 (GROWLS) 57 00:03:30,071 --> 00:03:31,827 Baby girl, you knocked it out of the park. 58 00:03:31,927 --> 00:03:32,876 Thank you. 59 00:03:32,983 --> 00:03:35,568 - But you do know he was guilty, right? - Dad, this is legal theory. 60 00:03:35,671 --> 00:03:37,842 Everything's not just black and white, there are shades of gray. 61 00:03:37,943 --> 00:03:39,983 Yeah, well, gray is just guilty with a good excuse. 62 00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:42,193 - No, actually, it's just... - Okay, okay, okay, okay. 63 00:03:42,295 --> 00:03:44,532 You both have interesting points, but the trial is over. 64 00:03:44,631 --> 00:03:47,184 Now, Mama's rule is we go home and celebrate. 65 00:03:47,287 --> 00:03:50,189 Yes. Okay, wait. I've got to get something out of my locker. 66 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,270 - Excuse me. - Oh, my goodness! 67 00:03:52,376 --> 00:03:54,612 Miss Porter. Well done. 68 00:03:54,711 --> 00:03:56,402 Wow. Thank you, Your Honor. 69 00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:58,511 Your teacher mentioned you're interested in my alma mater. 70 00:03:58,615 --> 00:04:00,306 Georgetown? Yes, sir. 71 00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:02,350 Although it doesn't matter, because I've been wait-listed. 72 00:04:02,455 --> 00:04:05,303 You know, an old classmate of mine works in Admissions at Georgetown. 73 00:04:05,399 --> 00:04:07,821 No guarantees, but I could give him a call... 74 00:04:07,927 --> 00:04:10,229 (GASPS) Oh, my goodness! Yes! 75 00:04:10,327 --> 00:04:13,426 - Thank you, thank you, thank you! - (CHOKING) I'll take that as a "yes." 76 00:04:13,527 --> 00:04:14,956 You're obstructing my airway. 77 00:04:17,623 --> 00:04:19,925 They're going to love my special sauce. 78 00:04:20,023 --> 00:04:22,892 - Smells good, baby. - Thank you. Thank you. 79 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,557 (CLEARING THROAT) 80 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:28,657 - Everything all right? - Albert just beat me at chess. Again! 81 00:04:28,919 --> 00:04:31,286 (GRUNTING) 82 00:04:31,384 --> 00:04:34,515 Stop gloating, Albert! Nobody likes a sore winner. 83 00:04:35,095 --> 00:04:36,557 (GRUNTING) 84 00:04:37,815 --> 00:04:41,198 I need 13ccs of orange juice, please. 85 00:04:41,303 --> 00:04:45,100 - Thirteen ccs coming right up, baby. - Thank you, Mother. 86 00:04:47,895 --> 00:04:50,351 He's playing chess with a pig. 87 00:04:52,119 --> 00:04:53,646 He's just going through a phase. 88 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,824 A phase is when they want to be a cowboy. 89 00:04:55,927 --> 00:04:58,099 - Trey's got issues. - Now hold up, now. 90 00:04:58,199 --> 00:05:01,233 Kids with high IQs, they got big imaginations. 91 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,579 And something about that pig, 92 00:05:02,679 --> 00:05:05,778 he keeps eyeballing me, like I'm cooking his cousin. 93 00:05:05,879 --> 00:05:07,472 Pig ain't eyeballing you. 94 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:08,557 (GRUNTS) 95 00:05:08,663 --> 00:05:11,598 See, he's doing it right now! Baby, look! He's doing it. 96 00:05:11,704 --> 00:05:14,671 What? It's all in your head, James. 97 00:05:16,055 --> 00:05:19,437 - Little Houdini pig... - Ain't no Houdini nothing over there. 98 00:05:19,543 --> 00:05:21,331 Do what you gotta do. 99 00:05:21,656 --> 00:05:22,703 (GRUNTING) 100 00:05:22,807 --> 00:05:24,433 MICHELLE: Wonderful, Emma! MRS. O'MALLY: Really? 101 00:05:24,536 --> 00:05:25,583 Because I feel like a house. 102 00:05:25,687 --> 00:05:26,636 (WOMEN GIGGLING) 103 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:30,256 - There's our superstar. - Hi, Mr. and Mrs. O'Mally. 104 00:05:30,359 --> 00:05:34,036 - I'm so sorry I can't join you tonight. - Celebrating, I hope. 105 00:05:34,136 --> 00:05:37,332 I'm just hanging out with a couple of mock-trial friends at the library. 106 00:05:37,431 --> 00:05:38,478 Total rager. 107 00:05:38,584 --> 00:05:39,860 - Wow. - That's my baby. That's my baby. 108 00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:40,907 (CAR HORN HONKING) 109 00:05:41,015 --> 00:05:42,095 And that's my cue. 110 00:05:43,863 --> 00:05:47,343 - I'll be back by curfew! Promise! - ALL: Okay, good night! 111 00:05:47,735 --> 00:05:49,164 She is a pip. 112 00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:51,471 Hey. 113 00:05:53,847 --> 00:05:57,327 - All clear? - Not yet. Wait for the first wave. 114 00:06:01,335 --> 00:06:02,895 ALL: Bye! 115 00:06:05,655 --> 00:06:07,084 Second wave. 116 00:06:11,127 --> 00:06:12,785 ALL: Bye. 117 00:06:20,535 --> 00:06:22,607 Forward party! 118 00:06:22,711 --> 00:06:23,955 - Party! - Party! 119 00:06:24,056 --> 00:06:25,365 (TIRES SCREECHING) 120 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,989 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 121 00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:30,902 (ALL WHOOPING) 122 00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:37,845 So, any parenting advice for us? 123 00:06:37,943 --> 00:06:40,726 - What would you like to know? - We want a daughter like Melanie. 124 00:06:40,823 --> 00:06:42,863 I mean, just tell us. I mean, not... Not that I'm nervous. 125 00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,854 You know, it's not that I'm nervous... I'm not nervous. 126 00:06:45,335 --> 00:06:46,479 (GASPS) 127 00:06:46,583 --> 00:06:48,623 - He's just... - I'm sorry. 128 00:06:48,727 --> 00:06:52,240 Relax. Raising a daughter is easy. 129 00:06:52,343 --> 00:06:54,864 Take me and Melanie. We got a solid relationship. 130 00:06:54,967 --> 00:06:57,040 There's nothing we can't talk about. 131 00:06:57,239 --> 00:06:59,541 Are you kidding? I can't tell that man anything! 132 00:06:59,639 --> 00:07:01,494 I say left, he says right. 133 00:07:01,591 --> 00:07:05,366 I say defense attorney, he says pre-paid excuse-maker. 134 00:07:05,463 --> 00:07:07,089 (GRUNTING) That man is so rigid! 135 00:07:07,383 --> 00:07:08,757 - Rigid. - Rigid. 136 00:07:09,047 --> 00:07:12,876 I'm flexible. As Melanie's grown, I've grown with her. 137 00:07:13,143 --> 00:07:15,216 He still treats me like a kid! 138 00:07:15,319 --> 00:07:17,523 You clearly need to take your mind off things 139 00:07:17,623 --> 00:07:20,470 and come on our college tour this weekend! 140 00:07:20,567 --> 00:07:23,916 Saturday we're staying at my sister's sorority at the University of Pittsburgh. 141 00:07:24,023 --> 00:07:26,063 And we could even hit up Georgetown. It's not that far. 142 00:07:26,167 --> 00:07:28,436 Oh, my goodness, you guys, I would love to! 143 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:30,160 But I don't think my dad will let me. 144 00:07:30,423 --> 00:07:31,503 - Lame! - Lame! 145 00:07:31,735 --> 00:07:33,011 Hey, girls! 146 00:07:33,111 --> 00:07:35,151 - Hey, Hunter! - Hey, Hunter! 147 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,109 Hunter in the house! 148 00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,444 - We don't say that anymore. - We don't say that anymore. 149 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,715 - I'm bringing it back! - Okay. 150 00:07:42,551 --> 00:07:45,453 So it might be emotional, and there might be tears, 151 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,047 but that's why they call it "tough love." 152 00:07:48,151 --> 00:07:50,572 - Now, once they're potty-trained... - Uh-uh. Baby? 153 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,362 I think we've had enough parenting talk for tonight, hmm? 154 00:07:53,751 --> 00:07:55,660 You're absolutely right. 155 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,589 Why tell them, when I could show them? 156 00:07:57,687 --> 00:07:58,734 Uh-uh. No... 157 00:07:59,735 --> 00:08:01,295 Ta-da! 158 00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:05,844 Welcome to the James Porter School of Raising Kids. 159 00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:09,358 Our motto is, "Be there, take video." 160 00:08:09,463 --> 00:08:10,411 (CHUCKLES) 161 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:11,697 Which one? 162 00:08:11,799 --> 00:08:12,879 (HUMMING) 163 00:08:12,983 --> 00:08:14,128 - Wow. - Super. 164 00:08:14,231 --> 00:08:15,475 All righty! 165 00:08:16,407 --> 00:08:19,222 MELANIE ON TV: My name is Melanie Porter, and I am six years old. 166 00:08:20,055 --> 00:08:21,397 Ta-da! 167 00:08:21,879 --> 00:08:23,374 That's my baby! 168 00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:26,864 Yeah. Yeah. 169 00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:29,585 Dad, I can't move my legs! I can't pedal! 170 00:08:30,391 --> 00:08:33,206 MELANIE: (SINGING) A-B-C-D-E-F... 171 00:08:33,303 --> 00:08:37,362 (WHISPERING) In the future, all video will be implanted in our brains. 172 00:08:39,543 --> 00:08:40,721 Perfect. 173 00:08:58,263 --> 00:08:59,638 (GRUNTING) 174 00:09:04,183 --> 00:09:06,190 Why do you keep eyeballing me? 175 00:09:13,271 --> 00:09:14,416 Seeing the O'Mallys tonight 176 00:09:14,519 --> 00:09:16,941 reminded me of when I was pregnant with Melanie. 177 00:09:17,047 --> 00:09:18,989 Doesn't seem that long ago. 178 00:09:19,095 --> 00:09:23,023 I can tell you one thing. I was not as uptight as him. 179 00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:25,582 You were my rock. 180 00:09:25,687 --> 00:09:29,429 Right until they wheeled me into that delivery room. Then you passed out. 181 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:33,651 No, I did not pass out. I just didn't get a nap that day. 182 00:09:33,815 --> 00:09:36,782 Well, it all worked out. We got great kids. 183 00:09:36,983 --> 00:09:39,088 That's why I can sleep at night. 184 00:09:39,191 --> 00:09:41,363 - Good night. All right. - Good night, babe. 185 00:09:51,095 --> 00:09:52,207 (GRUNTING) 186 00:09:54,455 --> 00:09:57,073 Babe! The pig! Hey, baby! Look! Look! 187 00:09:58,391 --> 00:10:00,758 There's nothing there. Go to sleep! 188 00:10:00,855 --> 00:10:04,433 - That little Houdini... He was just... - Do what you gotta do. 189 00:10:14,807 --> 00:10:15,920 MELANIE: Dad! 190 00:10:16,087 --> 00:10:17,232 (SCREAMING) 191 00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:20,143 - MELANIE: Mom! - Hold on! 192 00:10:20,247 --> 00:10:22,614 Dad! Hurry up, please! 193 00:10:25,271 --> 00:10:26,897 Mom, Dad! Hurry! 194 00:10:28,215 --> 00:10:29,741 - I can't believe it! - Mel! 195 00:10:29,847 --> 00:10:30,927 (GASPING) 196 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,755 Melanie, what is it? 197 00:10:34,774 --> 00:10:36,782 ANSWERING MACHINE: Miss Porter, Judge Mahagian calling. 198 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,000 The Georgetown admissions committee 199 00:10:38,103 --> 00:10:40,078 is interviewing a select few students from the waitlist. 200 00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:42,703 You'll need to be in DC this Monday at 4:00. 201 00:10:42,806 --> 00:10:45,425 Congratulations, and have a lovely trip. 202 00:10:47,254 --> 00:10:48,781 (SCREAMING) 203 00:10:48,887 --> 00:10:49,999 (WHOOPING) 204 00:10:50,103 --> 00:10:51,347 (SQUEALING) 205 00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,406 (WHOOPING) 206 00:10:55,511 --> 00:10:56,525 (WHOOPING) 207 00:10:56,631 --> 00:10:58,354 Little bro, what are you so excited about? 208 00:10:58,455 --> 00:11:01,106 I'm going to turn your room into a science lab! 209 00:11:01,207 --> 00:11:03,573 JAMES: For all of you who don't know, we live near Chicago. 210 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,132 Georgetown is in Washington, DC. 211 00:11:06,454 --> 00:11:08,494 That's 700 miles away from home. 212 00:11:08,599 --> 00:11:10,060 ANIMATED FAN 1: Georgetown! ANIMATED FAN 2: Georgetown! 213 00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:11,792 - Happy dance! - Happy dance! 214 00:11:11,895 --> 00:11:13,553 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 215 00:11:13,719 --> 00:11:14,897 (HUMMING) 216 00:11:14,999 --> 00:11:16,405 (GRUNTING) 217 00:11:16,503 --> 00:11:18,064 - I said, "Whoa!" - Oh, my goodness! You guys! 218 00:11:18,167 --> 00:11:21,069 No way. He said Monday. That's in three days. 219 00:11:21,175 --> 00:11:22,189 MELANIE: You know what? We should drive there. 220 00:11:22,295 --> 00:11:23,637 - We should make a trip of it. - Yeah. 221 00:11:23,734 --> 00:11:25,043 Trip? What trip? 222 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,478 - Oh, Monday! - What? 223 00:11:27,574 --> 00:11:29,713 Baby, I got two open houses this weekend. 224 00:11:29,815 --> 00:11:30,829 (SNIGGERING) 225 00:11:30,935 --> 00:11:32,528 Okay, no. But that's okay. That's okay. You know why? 226 00:11:32,630 --> 00:11:35,314 Because Katie and Nancy are taking their own little trip! 227 00:11:35,415 --> 00:11:36,691 Oh, my goodness. I could go with them. 228 00:11:36,791 --> 00:11:39,409 They can drop me off. It's only a couple hours from DC. 229 00:11:39,511 --> 00:11:41,071 (SCREAMING) 230 00:11:41,175 --> 00:11:43,825 Perfect. Problem solved. I am so proud of you! 231 00:11:43,927 --> 00:11:45,650 Thank you, Mommy, thank you! 232 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:47,404 (CAR HORN HONKS) 233 00:11:47,511 --> 00:11:48,591 - Hey! - Hey! 234 00:11:48,694 --> 00:11:50,385 I'm going to Georgetown! 235 00:11:50,518 --> 00:11:52,591 (SCREAMING) 236 00:11:52,695 --> 00:11:54,320 Katie and Nancy. 237 00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:57,902 All right, bye! Girls, be safe! 238 00:11:58,007 --> 00:12:00,396 GIRLS: (CHANTING) Georgetown, Georgetown! 239 00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,282 - Come on, baby. Come on. - Perfect? 240 00:12:03,383 --> 00:12:06,318 Problem solved? What happened to our big plan? 241 00:12:06,423 --> 00:12:08,114 We agreed on Northwestern. 242 00:12:08,215 --> 00:12:10,604 Did you even know she applied to Georgetown? 243 00:12:10,711 --> 00:12:14,737 - I helped her fill out the application. - What? Whose side are you on? 244 00:12:14,839 --> 00:12:17,970 Both of yours. And put down that bat. 245 00:12:18,231 --> 00:12:19,987 Look, you can't be on both of our sides. 246 00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:22,956 Baby, Georgetown is a great school! 247 00:12:23,063 --> 00:12:24,492 We don't know anyone there. 248 00:12:24,599 --> 00:12:26,355 How will she begin to take care of herself? 249 00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:29,968 Because you're an amazing father, and you showed her right from wrong 250 00:12:30,071 --> 00:12:32,373 and you taught her how to think for herself and be strong. 251 00:12:32,471 --> 00:12:34,293 She's ready for this because of you! 252 00:12:34,391 --> 00:12:35,700 Nice try, Michelle, 253 00:12:35,799 --> 00:12:38,798 but you and I both know it's nothing nice out there. 254 00:12:38,903 --> 00:12:42,962 I know this is hard for you, but she is not a little girl anymore. Okay? 255 00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,950 You gotta relax. I'll see you at dinner. 256 00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:48,076 I'll show you relaxed. 257 00:12:50,967 --> 00:12:52,822 Are you sure you can't go out Saturday night? 258 00:12:52,918 --> 00:12:54,773 My best friend from college is gonna be in town, 259 00:12:54,871 --> 00:12:58,864 and let me tell you this, the Wizard is the party master. 260 00:12:58,967 --> 00:13:00,854 Party master? 261 00:13:00,950 --> 00:13:05,140 Man, wasn't college the best? Total freedom to do whatever you want. 262 00:13:05,239 --> 00:13:06,254 What? 263 00:13:07,062 --> 00:13:09,484 I had my parents convinced I was an oceanography major 264 00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:13,420 for a whole year, just so they'd pay for spring break in Mexico! 265 00:13:13,655 --> 00:13:14,582 Mexico? 266 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:15,606 (BOTH LAUGHING) 267 00:13:16,214 --> 00:13:19,444 Oh, man, when I think back to half the stuff I did in college, 268 00:13:19,542 --> 00:13:22,412 there's no way I'm letting my kid out of my sight 269 00:13:22,519 --> 00:13:24,886 when she goes off to college. Not a chance. 270 00:13:24,983 --> 00:13:25,910 (BOTH SCREAMING) 271 00:13:28,727 --> 00:13:30,189 (LAUGHING) 272 00:13:31,031 --> 00:13:34,446 - Everything okay, Chief? - I got everything under control. 273 00:13:39,831 --> 00:13:41,903 JAMES: I'm taking three days off. 274 00:13:42,007 --> 00:13:44,211 Sure hope he doesn't do something crazy. 275 00:13:44,310 --> 00:13:46,253 GIRLS: (SINGING) We're going on a road trip 276 00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:50,352 A road trip, a road trip 277 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:51,862 (WHOOPING) 278 00:13:53,654 --> 00:13:55,564 You guys, I think we should start really early tomorrow, 279 00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:56,815 because I cannot believe we're actually going. 280 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,326 I can't believe your dad's actually allowing you to go. 281 00:13:58,423 --> 00:14:01,074 I've been working with him for 17 years, all right? 282 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,189 And he knows, 283 00:14:02,294 --> 00:14:05,678 you can be Chief at the station, but you have to be Dad at home. 284 00:14:05,782 --> 00:14:08,782 - That's right. You tell him exactly that. - Thank you very much. 285 00:14:08,887 --> 00:14:09,814 Oh! 286 00:14:10,295 --> 00:14:11,440 Surprise! 287 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,094 Road trip, road trip! Yeah! 288 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:16,564 (HUMMING) 289 00:14:16,663 --> 00:14:18,451 - Oh, no. - Oh, no. 290 00:14:18,551 --> 00:14:20,078 Mom, this is crazy! 291 00:14:20,182 --> 00:14:21,644 Have you seen the thing that we're driving in? 292 00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:23,212 It's gonna be like a thousand-mile ride-along. 293 00:14:23,318 --> 00:14:27,148 No, no. My life is a thousand-mile ride-along. 294 00:14:27,254 --> 00:14:28,781 Why is he doing this to me? 295 00:14:28,887 --> 00:14:32,531 Because he loves you and he wants to spend time with you. 296 00:14:32,631 --> 00:14:35,762 - This is cruelty. - What would make it less painful? 297 00:14:38,135 --> 00:14:40,371 You said she could stay at the sorority house? 298 00:14:40,471 --> 00:14:43,024 Her friends are gonna be with Katie's sister at Pitt. 299 00:14:43,222 --> 00:14:44,651 Baby, that's right near your mama's house, 300 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,766 where you're planning on staying tomorrow, anyway. 301 00:14:46,871 --> 00:14:49,489 Look, this is daddy-daughter time, Michelle. 302 00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:52,820 I got a lot planned for us. I shouldn't have to share. 303 00:14:52,918 --> 00:14:54,958 Why are you taking this trip anyway, James? 304 00:14:55,063 --> 00:14:58,641 - I told you. To support Melanie. - Well, good. 305 00:14:58,743 --> 00:15:01,677 Because if this is one of your crazy schemes to keep her at home, 306 00:15:01,783 --> 00:15:04,849 that would be real bad, James. 307 00:15:04,950 --> 00:15:06,990 I got it all under control. 308 00:15:08,438 --> 00:15:11,089 - Are you going to DC? - Yeah. 309 00:15:11,191 --> 00:15:16,047 I need you to take a message to the Secretary of Defense. It reads, 310 00:15:17,495 --> 00:15:20,626 "Dear Sir, I've created a species of superpigs 311 00:15:20,727 --> 00:15:23,726 "to defend the country from our enemies." 312 00:15:23,831 --> 00:15:26,253 You're gonna have to get that to him yourself, 313 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,945 and you may want to housebreak your pig first. 314 00:15:29,079 --> 00:15:30,486 Already done. 315 00:15:30,614 --> 00:15:32,370 (TOILET FLUSHING) 316 00:15:32,471 --> 00:15:34,162 (GRUNTING) 317 00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:46,418 MAN ON TV: Welcome to Animal Kingdom. 318 00:15:46,519 --> 00:15:51,375 Gazelles are among nature's most social and emotional creatures. 319 00:15:51,478 --> 00:15:55,340 They look after each other for any signs of danger. 320 00:15:55,447 --> 00:15:59,757 The gazelle family stays together for as long as they live. 321 00:15:59,862 --> 00:16:03,124 How father loves his little gazelle daughter. 322 00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:04,816 That's what I'm talking about. 323 00:16:04,918 --> 00:16:08,628 If only humans could embrace this wildlife lesson. 324 00:16:16,663 --> 00:16:20,656 (SINGING) There's a double dutch bus coming down the street 325 00:16:20,759 --> 00:16:24,556 Moving pretty fast so kind of shuffle your feet 326 00:16:24,663 --> 00:16:27,445 Get on the bus and pay your fare 327 00:16:27,543 --> 00:16:31,340 And tell the driver that you're going to the double dutch affair 328 00:16:32,023 --> 00:16:33,135 (CHUCKLES) 329 00:16:36,215 --> 00:16:37,808 I love you, Daddy! 330 00:16:41,558 --> 00:16:43,413 Where does the time go? 331 00:16:44,823 --> 00:16:47,190 Bye, Daddy! Bye! 332 00:16:49,111 --> 00:16:50,093 (SIGHS) 333 00:16:55,735 --> 00:16:56,815 Where's Trey? 334 00:16:56,918 --> 00:16:59,406 He left an hour ago for his science club. 335 00:16:59,511 --> 00:17:02,031 It's an all-day field trip. I'll pick him up after work. 336 00:17:02,135 --> 00:17:05,997 For Christmas, that boy gets a karate suit, and nothing else. 337 00:17:06,102 --> 00:17:08,622 Look, you be good now, okay? 338 00:17:08,726 --> 00:17:11,181 - I'm gonna miss you. - You, too, baby. Be safe. 339 00:17:12,695 --> 00:17:14,996 Baby, you call me, now, if you have any problems. 340 00:17:15,094 --> 00:17:16,207 I'll be fine. 341 00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:17,870 I was talking to Melanie. 342 00:17:17,974 --> 00:17:19,665 Time to go, Mel-bear. 343 00:17:23,382 --> 00:17:25,553 They are gonna kill each other. 344 00:17:27,159 --> 00:17:29,014 (INAUDIBLE) 345 00:17:29,654 --> 00:17:31,378 (ABC PLAYING) 346 00:17:31,478 --> 00:17:34,162 You went to school to learn, girl 347 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,237 Things you never knew before 348 00:17:36,534 --> 00:17:39,120 Like I before E except after C 349 00:17:39,223 --> 00:17:41,612 And why 2 plus 2 makes 4, now, now, now 350 00:17:41,719 --> 00:17:44,588 I'm gonna teach you 351 00:17:44,695 --> 00:17:46,702 - Isn't this exciting? - Yeah. 352 00:17:46,807 --> 00:17:50,102 I put together a little road-trip kit. 353 00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:53,679 I call that "miles o' fun." 354 00:17:53,783 --> 00:17:57,394 Now, we got travel bingo, travel Scrabble, 355 00:17:57,623 --> 00:18:01,813 travel dominoes. And for your musical enjoyment... 356 00:18:02,742 --> 00:18:04,597 "Daddy/Daughter groove machine"? 357 00:18:04,695 --> 00:18:08,372 Double Dutch Bus. We used to sing it in the car all the time. 358 00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:10,478 Play it, play it, play it. 359 00:18:10,967 --> 00:18:13,171 (HUMMING) 360 00:18:13,399 --> 00:18:15,221 (DOUBLE DUTCH BUS PLAYING ON RADIO) 361 00:18:15,319 --> 00:18:16,748 (SINGING) Give me a "Ho!" 362 00:18:18,039 --> 00:18:19,053 Ya dig? 363 00:18:19,159 --> 00:18:22,956 The double dutch bus going down the street 364 00:18:23,062 --> 00:18:26,739 And we've got to realize that you don't know what to... 365 00:18:28,118 --> 00:18:31,053 - I love this song. - I don't remember. 366 00:18:32,022 --> 00:18:35,568 - Come on. This was our song. - Sorry, I just don't remember. 367 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:42,484 - Okay. That's all right. We can just talk. - Talk? About what? 368 00:18:42,582 --> 00:18:45,550 Father/daughter talks. We're going to get deep, too. 369 00:18:45,654 --> 00:18:47,826 - Deep? - Real deep. 370 00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:49,868 I mean, like, deeper than deep. 371 00:18:49,975 --> 00:18:53,008 You know what I mean? Stuff that only we can get deep about. 372 00:18:53,111 --> 00:18:54,387 (CHUCKLES) 373 00:18:55,479 --> 00:18:56,526 Deep! 374 00:18:58,038 --> 00:19:01,781 Yeah. I just hope 700 miles gives us enough time. 375 00:19:03,798 --> 00:19:04,878 Dad! 376 00:19:04,983 --> 00:19:08,561 Oh, my goodness. Look where we are. Northwestern. 377 00:19:08,663 --> 00:19:11,052 - Dad, what are you doing? - Nothing? What? 378 00:19:11,158 --> 00:19:13,809 This is supposed to be the "Georgetown Express." 379 00:19:13,910 --> 00:19:17,871 Mel, you have to see more than one college on a college road trip. 380 00:19:17,974 --> 00:19:18,922 What's the harm? 381 00:19:19,031 --> 00:19:21,780 The harm is we have a lot of ground to cover. 382 00:19:21,878 --> 00:19:23,536 And I've already seen Northwestern. 383 00:19:23,638 --> 00:19:26,954 Not as a potential student. Come on. Flow with me. 384 00:19:27,063 --> 00:19:29,037 Flow with me, Mel. Flow with me. 385 00:19:31,095 --> 00:19:32,589 (CHUCKLES) 386 00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:37,035 Look at this place! Oh, look at the trees! 387 00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:38,451 The field! 388 00:19:38,550 --> 00:19:41,998 It's like a four-star resort with some books and learning! 389 00:19:42,102 --> 00:19:43,990 Dad, just don't embarrass me, okay? 390 00:19:44,087 --> 00:19:47,665 Go, Cats! Number one! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 391 00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:50,800 - Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! - Unbelievable. 392 00:19:50,903 --> 00:19:55,474 Oh, Mel! Cats, baby! Number one! Mel! 393 00:19:55,574 --> 00:19:57,963 GUIDE: And that's how, in 1853, 394 00:19:58,070 --> 00:20:01,169 the university named the surrounding town "Evanston," 395 00:20:01,271 --> 00:20:04,020 in honor of its founder, John Evans. 396 00:20:04,118 --> 00:20:08,788 He was a doctor and a builder and boring, boring, boring. Questions? 397 00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:11,409 (GRUNTING) 398 00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:14,096 - GUIDE: Are you sure? - Yes. Please, please, please. 399 00:20:14,199 --> 00:20:15,442 Go ahead. 400 00:20:15,542 --> 00:20:19,692 Hi. Doug Greenhut, BPT. Booster Parent in Training. 401 00:20:19,798 --> 00:20:21,140 (BOTH LAUGHING) 402 00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:25,837 We're up here from Orlando on our big "college road trip." 403 00:20:25,942 --> 00:20:28,909 - This is Wendy, my daughter. - Hi, I'm Wendy Greenhut. 404 00:20:29,014 --> 00:20:32,462 CST, College Student in Training. 405 00:20:32,566 --> 00:20:33,613 You have a question, Tinker Bell? 406 00:20:33,718 --> 00:20:37,515 I was just wondering, when is parents' weekend? 407 00:20:37,622 --> 00:20:40,077 - It's early November. - What? 408 00:20:40,182 --> 00:20:42,386 That's three months after school starts. 409 00:20:42,486 --> 00:20:45,553 Any other riveting questions? 410 00:20:46,262 --> 00:20:47,244 (GRUNTING) 411 00:20:48,278 --> 00:20:49,260 Yes. 412 00:20:49,367 --> 00:20:52,563 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Mr. School Spirit, with the foam finger. 413 00:20:52,662 --> 00:20:55,509 Disregard his sarcastic tone, James. 414 00:20:55,606 --> 00:20:58,356 How does Northwestern compare to other universities, 415 00:20:58,454 --> 00:21:00,429 like Georgetown, for example? 416 00:21:00,535 --> 00:21:03,731 (SCOFFS) Georgetown? We're better than Georgetown. 417 00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:05,237 Excuse me. Hypothetically speaking, 418 00:21:05,335 --> 00:21:08,433 if your dad was an overprotective control freak 419 00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:10,541 and lived 40 miles away from Northwestern, 420 00:21:10,646 --> 00:21:12,784 then would you go to Georgetown? 421 00:21:12,886 --> 00:21:14,544 ALL: Yeah. 422 00:21:14,646 --> 00:21:18,607 - Who said that? Who said it? - I knew this was a bad idea. 423 00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:19,758 (GASPS) 424 00:21:25,526 --> 00:21:27,087 I'm so sorry. 425 00:21:27,190 --> 00:21:29,557 - Are you okay? - I am now. 426 00:21:32,790 --> 00:21:36,565 Hi, I'm Nick. I don't think I've seen you around before. 427 00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:40,885 No, I was just checking out the campus. 428 00:21:40,982 --> 00:21:44,016 - How about a personal tour? - Personal tour of what? 429 00:21:44,118 --> 00:21:47,664 Dad, this is Nick. Nick, this is my dad. 430 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:49,774 NICK: I was just about to show Melanie around campus. 431 00:21:49,878 --> 00:21:51,088 I don't have a problem with that. 432 00:21:51,350 --> 00:21:53,772 - What? - I trust you. 433 00:21:53,878 --> 00:21:56,748 Besides, something about this school feels safe. 434 00:21:56,854 --> 00:22:00,466 Meet me back at the student union when you're done. You kids have fun. 435 00:22:00,566 --> 00:22:02,475 Can we see the rest of this beautiful school? 436 00:22:02,583 --> 00:22:04,852 - Okeydokey. - Okeydokey! 437 00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:06,773 You go, girl! 438 00:22:06,870 --> 00:22:10,994 DOUG: James, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship. 439 00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:13,870 Wow. I wish my dad was that cool. 440 00:22:13,974 --> 00:22:14,956 Huh? 441 00:22:15,798 --> 00:22:17,871 - Shall we go? - Lead the way. 442 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:21,806 Wow. 443 00:22:21,910 --> 00:22:23,917 - Wow. No, I'm serious. - Yeah. 444 00:22:24,022 --> 00:22:26,193 I can't believe that was just the science library. 445 00:22:26,294 --> 00:22:29,523 - I'm telling you, this campus, it's like... - I know. It's amazing. 446 00:22:29,622 --> 00:22:32,339 I just kind of want to get away from the nest, you know? 447 00:22:32,438 --> 00:22:33,366 Look, I hear you. 448 00:22:33,462 --> 00:22:36,309 But the way I look at it, you have your whole life to do that. 449 00:22:36,406 --> 00:22:38,228 I mean, my parents live less than an hour away, 450 00:22:38,326 --> 00:22:40,301 and it's awesome. 451 00:22:40,406 --> 00:22:43,254 I mean, I've got a place to cram for exams when I need privacy, 452 00:22:43,350 --> 00:22:46,547 free laundry, home-cooked meals whenever I want. 453 00:22:46,646 --> 00:22:49,395 Going to college close to home is where it's at. 454 00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:53,553 - You really sound like my dad. - Well, the Chief's a pretty smart guy. 455 00:22:55,383 --> 00:22:57,521 Hey, Nick, can you... 456 00:22:58,070 --> 00:22:59,826 Can you get me a lemonade? 457 00:22:59,926 --> 00:23:03,090 - Don't you go changing. - Don't you go changing! 458 00:23:06,903 --> 00:23:09,237 "Chief's a pretty smart guy." 459 00:23:10,262 --> 00:23:11,309 (SIGHS) 460 00:23:13,718 --> 00:23:17,297 Oh, it's on. It's on. 461 00:23:19,702 --> 00:23:23,411 So what do you do if you encounter an individual resisting arrest? 462 00:23:23,510 --> 00:23:25,550 Well, we have Tasers. 463 00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:27,083 No, forget a Taser. 464 00:23:27,190 --> 00:23:28,913 That's not gonna subdue any real criminal. 465 00:23:29,014 --> 00:23:30,672 MELANIE: Dad! Dad! 466 00:23:32,310 --> 00:23:34,165 Looks like somebody's having a good time. 467 00:23:34,262 --> 00:23:37,164 Not a good time, Daddy. A great time! It was awesome! It was off the chain! 468 00:23:37,271 --> 00:23:38,699 See. What have I been trying to tell you? 469 00:23:38,806 --> 00:23:40,148 Dad, I don't know why I wasn't listening. 470 00:23:40,246 --> 00:23:42,385 Let me tell you what happened, right. So we went to the library, but 471 00:23:42,486 --> 00:23:45,137 - we went to a frat party. - Frat party? 472 00:23:45,238 --> 00:23:47,246 Let me tell you what happened. I was like, "Nick, I don't wanna go. 473 00:23:47,350 --> 00:23:48,299 "No, I have to think about school." 474 00:23:48,406 --> 00:23:49,333 But he's like, "Come on. Let's go." 475 00:23:49,430 --> 00:23:50,608 I said, "Okay, for sure." So we went to the party. 476 00:23:50,711 --> 00:23:53,166 Yo, Dad, crazy, man! Crazy! 477 00:23:53,270 --> 00:23:55,823 There was a Jell-O pool, and everybody was just diving in it. 478 00:23:55,926 --> 00:23:57,714 I was like, "I can't take it!" Amazing. 479 00:23:57,814 --> 00:24:00,083 Northwestern, this is where it's at, right here. 480 00:24:00,278 --> 00:24:01,554 - Where's Nick? - He was krumping, 481 00:24:01,654 --> 00:24:03,214 and he broke out his back. You know, like... 482 00:24:03,318 --> 00:24:05,489 - Like that. It was crazy. - Melanie! 483 00:24:05,590 --> 00:24:06,867 (WHOOPING) 484 00:24:06,966 --> 00:24:07,894 I got your lemonade! 485 00:24:07,990 --> 00:24:08,973 (TASER BUZZING) 486 00:24:09,078 --> 00:24:10,005 (GROANING) 487 00:24:10,934 --> 00:24:13,268 Sip on that. Sip on that! 488 00:24:13,366 --> 00:24:15,406 Pardon me, ma'am. I didn't see you there. 489 00:24:15,510 --> 00:24:17,932 See, I just transferred from Georgetown University, 490 00:24:18,038 --> 00:24:21,104 where I was stabbed in the eye! 491 00:24:21,206 --> 00:24:23,573 At Georgetown! 492 00:24:26,582 --> 00:24:31,122 - You've got to be kidding me. - Stuart, she knows. It's over. 493 00:24:32,246 --> 00:24:34,831 Everybody go on about your business. It's done. 494 00:24:35,254 --> 00:24:36,498 (JAMES SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 495 00:24:36,598 --> 00:24:37,842 Disperse. 496 00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:44,140 Hey, how do I get this cast off? 497 00:24:45,590 --> 00:24:48,404 MELANIE: I can't believe you tried to trick me like that. 498 00:24:48,502 --> 00:24:49,996 I am a good girl. 499 00:24:50,102 --> 00:24:51,989 I listen to you and Mom. I do well in school. 500 00:24:52,086 --> 00:24:53,461 What's the worst thing I've done? 501 00:24:53,558 --> 00:24:56,013 Dance around with my friends at a party? 502 00:24:56,118 --> 00:24:58,354 Party? When did you go to a party? 503 00:24:58,454 --> 00:24:59,501 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 504 00:24:59,606 --> 00:25:00,555 Phone. 505 00:25:00,662 --> 00:25:05,234 If that's your mother, tell her we're having a good time. All right? 506 00:25:05,334 --> 00:25:07,189 Okay. Hello? 507 00:25:07,286 --> 00:25:09,904 Oh, my gosh. The cutest guy just drove by us, and Katie was like... 508 00:25:10,006 --> 00:25:10,954 Ooh! 509 00:25:11,062 --> 00:25:12,010 And he was like, "Ew." 510 00:25:12,118 --> 00:25:13,492 - And we were like, "Whatever." - "Whatever." 511 00:25:13,590 --> 00:25:15,150 So, how's family bonding? 512 00:25:15,254 --> 00:25:17,774 Oh, it's great. Yeah, we just left Northwestern, 513 00:25:17,878 --> 00:25:20,561 and my dad Tasered one of his own deputies. 514 00:25:20,662 --> 00:25:22,123 (GIRLS LAUGHING) 515 00:25:22,230 --> 00:25:24,085 - Congratulations! - Congratulations! 516 00:25:24,182 --> 00:25:27,499 - Nancy says congratulations. - Thank you, Nancy. 517 00:25:27,606 --> 00:25:30,770 He says thank you. No, he can't hear what you said. 518 00:25:32,022 --> 00:25:33,134 I know. 519 00:25:33,238 --> 00:25:34,547 (LAUGHING) 520 00:25:36,502 --> 00:25:38,444 I know! I know. 521 00:25:41,270 --> 00:25:42,415 I know. 522 00:25:45,590 --> 00:25:48,307 I know! I know! 523 00:25:48,406 --> 00:25:49,518 (CELL PHONE BEEPING) 524 00:25:49,622 --> 00:25:51,182 Oh, girl, my battery's dying. Hold on. 525 00:25:51,286 --> 00:25:52,944 Thank you. 526 00:25:56,534 --> 00:25:59,916 Hello? Yes, I'm back. Where were we? 527 00:26:00,022 --> 00:26:01,931 (SQUEALS) I know! 528 00:26:14,294 --> 00:26:16,465 Are you serious? 529 00:26:17,654 --> 00:26:19,061 Construction? 530 00:26:19,606 --> 00:26:21,395 We're off-schedule as it is. 531 00:26:21,494 --> 00:26:23,632 We're never gonna be able to make it to Pitt in time. 532 00:26:23,734 --> 00:26:26,516 - We're gonna have to use the siren. - Absolutely not. 533 00:26:26,614 --> 00:26:28,305 No one touches my siren. 534 00:26:28,405 --> 00:26:30,707 Dad, desperate times call for desperate measures. 535 00:26:30,806 --> 00:26:34,548 Mel, getting to a slumber party is not an emergency, okay? 536 00:26:34,646 --> 00:26:37,166 Now reach in my bag and hand me P-GPS. 537 00:26:37,270 --> 00:26:38,895 What's P-GPS? 538 00:26:38,998 --> 00:26:41,486 Police Global Positioning System. 539 00:26:41,590 --> 00:26:44,373 Why don't you just call it "Police G-P-S"? 540 00:26:44,470 --> 00:26:45,997 Because its name is P-GPS. 541 00:26:46,102 --> 00:26:47,727 Okay, Dad. Here you go. 542 00:26:48,374 --> 00:26:51,123 There you go, P-GPS. Oh, P-GPS. 543 00:26:51,254 --> 00:26:55,885 P-GPS, route fastest time to l-23. 544 00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:59,471 AUTOMATED VOICE: Calculating distance to l-23. 545 00:26:59,574 --> 00:27:02,324 - Thank you, P-GPS. - Thank you! 546 00:27:02,422 --> 00:27:04,691 - No. Thank you. - Thank you! 547 00:27:04,790 --> 00:27:07,059 - No. Thank you. - Thank you! 548 00:27:07,158 --> 00:27:10,475 (WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS PLAYING) 549 00:27:21,366 --> 00:27:25,588 - At the next intersection, turn right. - P-GPS. 550 00:27:28,566 --> 00:27:31,348 At the next intersection, turn right. 551 00:27:38,262 --> 00:27:41,840 At the next intersection, turn right. Next intersect... The next... 552 00:27:41,942 --> 00:27:44,276 (WARPING) Turn right. Turn right. 553 00:27:44,374 --> 00:27:46,708 Dad, I think P-GPS is broken, because my map says 554 00:27:46,806 --> 00:27:48,562 that we're supposed to be going the other way. 555 00:27:48,662 --> 00:27:52,110 Are you gonna believe a piece of paper or a $40-million satellite? 556 00:27:52,214 --> 00:27:54,767 Bet Grandma's right around the corner. 557 00:27:58,358 --> 00:27:59,765 (HISSING) 558 00:27:59,894 --> 00:28:01,356 (WOLF HOWLING) 559 00:28:02,838 --> 00:28:05,075 Love what Grandma's done with the place. 560 00:28:05,846 --> 00:28:07,701 AUTOMATED VOICE: Thank you! 561 00:28:07,797 --> 00:28:09,620 This is nothing. Don't worry. 562 00:28:09,717 --> 00:28:13,492 I'll have this fixed, and we'll be back on the tiny dirt path in no time. 563 00:28:19,894 --> 00:28:22,065 - Trey, what are you doing? - Going to DC. 564 00:28:22,166 --> 00:28:24,751 You told me to take the note to the Secretary myself. 565 00:28:24,854 --> 00:28:26,577 Have you been hiding in here the whole time? 566 00:28:26,678 --> 00:28:27,888 You could have suffocated. 567 00:28:27,990 --> 00:28:32,081 I built an air ventilation system. I could have survived for weeks. 568 00:28:32,182 --> 00:28:34,419 I meant, "we" could have survived. 569 00:28:34,518 --> 00:28:36,209 You'll be lucky to survive into next week, 570 00:28:36,310 --> 00:28:38,699 once your mother and I get through with you. 571 00:28:39,414 --> 00:28:41,170 No service. 572 00:28:41,270 --> 00:28:43,790 You just bought yourself a stay of execution, boy. 573 00:28:43,894 --> 00:28:44,908 (SQUEALING) 574 00:28:47,222 --> 00:28:48,531 (GRUNTS) 575 00:28:58,806 --> 00:29:01,588 - TREY: Come on, Albert. - Dad, what are we gonna do with him? 576 00:29:01,686 --> 00:29:03,279 I have the most important interview of my life, 577 00:29:03,382 --> 00:29:06,284 and I don't want Einstein and Porky along for the ride. 578 00:29:06,390 --> 00:29:09,172 What do you want me to do, Mel? We're in the middle of nowhere. 579 00:29:09,270 --> 00:29:12,718 We could leave him in the woods and a nice family of wolves will adopt him. 580 00:29:12,821 --> 00:29:14,065 - Dad, Dad! - Oh! 581 00:29:17,430 --> 00:29:18,836 (CRASHING) 582 00:29:20,534 --> 00:29:22,323 AUTOMATED VOICE: Thank you. 583 00:29:28,598 --> 00:29:29,580 (GRUNTING) 584 00:29:33,333 --> 00:29:35,024 Dad, what are you doing? 585 00:29:35,126 --> 00:29:39,436 I'm just gonna rock this thing over, and we'll be on our way. 586 00:29:39,542 --> 00:29:41,484 I just need a little momentum. 587 00:29:41,590 --> 00:29:43,794 One! Two! 588 00:29:44,501 --> 00:29:45,996 (GROANING) 589 00:29:49,398 --> 00:29:50,959 Something popped. 590 00:29:52,181 --> 00:29:53,163 Something popped. 591 00:29:53,270 --> 00:29:55,212 Dad, do you need that man-girdle thing you wear? 592 00:29:55,317 --> 00:29:57,259 I thought that was Mom's. 593 00:29:58,197 --> 00:30:00,401 (SQUEALING) 594 00:30:00,502 --> 00:30:03,317 - Now, what's his problem? - I think he hears something. 595 00:30:03,414 --> 00:30:05,236 What is it, Albert? Do you hear something? 596 00:30:05,334 --> 00:30:06,316 (GRUNTING) 597 00:30:06,422 --> 00:30:07,349 Is it trouble? 598 00:30:07,445 --> 00:30:08,427 (GRUNTING) 599 00:30:08,534 --> 00:30:09,908 Is it a fire? 600 00:30:10,006 --> 00:30:11,435 Is Jimmy stuck in the well? 601 00:30:11,541 --> 00:30:12,490 (SQUEALING) 602 00:30:12,597 --> 00:30:13,808 Jimmy! 603 00:30:15,318 --> 00:30:17,652 He's been watching a lot of Lassie reruns. 604 00:30:18,805 --> 00:30:21,260 TREY: Albert says there's a road up ahead. 605 00:30:21,366 --> 00:30:22,893 I think I see a road over there. 606 00:30:22,998 --> 00:30:24,722 Aha! Albert was right. 607 00:30:25,173 --> 00:30:27,115 (GRUNTING) 608 00:30:45,078 --> 00:30:47,926 See, Mel? Told you everything was gonna work out. 609 00:30:48,021 --> 00:30:49,777 This place looks nice. 610 00:30:51,222 --> 00:30:52,432 MELANIE: Oh, no pets allowed. 611 00:30:52,661 --> 00:30:54,352 Looks like Albert has a problem. 612 00:30:54,454 --> 00:30:56,788 But, Dad, Albert's a member of this family. 613 00:30:56,886 --> 00:30:57,900 Not by blood. 614 00:30:58,006 --> 00:31:02,283 Now, this is the only hotel for 30 miles. We don't have a car, and I'm tired. 615 00:31:02,550 --> 00:31:04,437 (SQUEALING) 616 00:31:07,254 --> 00:31:08,236 (SNIFFLES) 617 00:31:08,822 --> 00:31:11,539 Okay. Do you have any ideas? 618 00:31:12,469 --> 00:31:13,876 I have a thought. 619 00:31:14,614 --> 00:31:16,883 ARCARA: I am dumping a lot of coin on this wedding, 620 00:31:16,982 --> 00:31:20,113 and I was told that they'll be throwing rice at my little angel. 621 00:31:20,214 --> 00:31:21,970 Yeah. I know. 622 00:31:24,341 --> 00:31:26,229 - Hi. - Hi. How can I help? 623 00:31:26,325 --> 00:31:28,300 We'd like a couple of rooms for the evening. 624 00:31:28,406 --> 00:31:32,912 - Okay. How many are in your party? - Just me, my two kids and the baby. 625 00:31:33,014 --> 00:31:33,996 (GRUNTS) 626 00:31:34,101 --> 00:31:38,574 - Oh! Somebody's getting hungry. - I just gave you a bottle. Yes, I did. 627 00:31:38,678 --> 00:31:40,783 - I know. You did. - Didn't I just give him a bottle? 628 00:31:40,886 --> 00:31:42,260 That is a hungry baby. 629 00:31:42,358 --> 00:31:44,114 Yes. He's kind of a pig. 630 00:31:44,213 --> 00:31:45,196 (GRUNTS) 631 00:31:46,390 --> 00:31:47,633 (PHONE RINGING) 632 00:31:49,782 --> 00:31:53,491 Michelle Porter. Hey, James, baby. 633 00:31:53,590 --> 00:31:55,313 (SHOUTING) Trey is where? 634 00:31:56,566 --> 00:31:59,697 Congratulations on your dream home. I'll fax you the paperwork. 635 00:31:59,798 --> 00:32:01,205 Put him on the phone! 636 00:32:01,910 --> 00:32:04,560 - It's for you. - Could you take a message? 637 00:32:07,541 --> 00:32:10,159 - Hello? - You are in big trouble, mister. 638 00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:12,564 I hope you know how to build a time machine, 639 00:32:12,661 --> 00:32:15,378 because you are not coming out of the house until the year 3000. 640 00:32:15,477 --> 00:32:19,569 I'll draw up some plans with Albert, but I can't promise anything. 641 00:32:19,669 --> 00:32:20,749 Trey! 642 00:32:20,854 --> 00:32:23,788 This is the most dangerous thing you've ever done. 643 00:32:23,894 --> 00:32:25,170 I'm sorry, Mommy. 644 00:32:25,270 --> 00:32:28,812 I know you are, baby. Let me talk to your daddy. Love you. 645 00:32:29,525 --> 00:32:30,453 (SIGHS) 646 00:32:31,638 --> 00:32:34,156 - Hey, baby. - So are all of you all right? 647 00:32:34,262 --> 00:32:36,848 Baby, we just had some trouble with the car. 648 00:32:36,949 --> 00:32:40,244 No more tricks, James. And feed my kids! 649 00:32:42,294 --> 00:32:45,774 You know, Sigmund Freud said the best way to understand women 650 00:32:45,878 --> 00:32:49,293 - is by listening to them. - Yeah, but did he say anything 651 00:32:49,398 --> 00:32:51,405 about understanding 10-year-olds? 652 00:32:51,605 --> 00:32:55,795 Because you and the pig is looping me. I'm confused. 653 00:32:55,893 --> 00:32:57,868 Albert, go start the bath. 654 00:33:00,790 --> 00:33:02,994 If you need us, we'll be playing chess. 655 00:33:04,789 --> 00:33:06,928 Albert, that's enough bubbles. 656 00:33:08,822 --> 00:33:10,415 Knight takes rook. 657 00:33:13,014 --> 00:33:15,283 Hmm. Interesting. 658 00:33:15,382 --> 00:33:17,771 Use your bishop as a decoy. Smart. 659 00:33:17,877 --> 00:33:18,805 (GRUNTING) 660 00:33:20,374 --> 00:33:24,465 - What are you doing? - Just fixing my hair, about to get ready. 661 00:33:24,566 --> 00:33:28,177 Look, Mel, I know you must be upset about missing the sleepover. 662 00:33:28,278 --> 00:33:31,573 But for whatever it's worth, I was totally cool with it. 663 00:33:31,669 --> 00:33:32,946 Thanks, Dad. 664 00:33:34,582 --> 00:33:36,370 - What are you doing? - Making coffee. 665 00:33:36,469 --> 00:33:40,495 Caffeine is a drug. You don't take drugs. End of story. 666 00:33:43,893 --> 00:33:47,057 Dad, why do you insist on treating me like a child? 667 00:33:48,214 --> 00:33:51,443 Because according to the law, you are one. 668 00:33:51,541 --> 00:33:52,970 How's it going? 669 00:34:05,077 --> 00:34:07,532 Think you got enough stuff, Melanie? 670 00:34:10,550 --> 00:34:12,916 "Passion." She better not... 671 00:34:13,013 --> 00:34:14,028 (BOTTLE SHATTERING) 672 00:34:17,013 --> 00:34:18,355 WEATHERMAN ON TV: ... with consistent showers 673 00:34:18,453 --> 00:34:19,947 through the next few days. 674 00:34:20,054 --> 00:34:22,094 WOMAN ON TV: Thanks, Nick, sounds like we have a rainy week ahead, 675 00:34:22,197 --> 00:34:23,757 so don't forget your umbrellas. 676 00:34:23,861 --> 00:34:26,960 And after the break, how coffee makes you smarter. 677 00:34:27,413 --> 00:34:29,104 (GRUNTING) 678 00:34:31,638 --> 00:34:33,361 (CHOMPING) 679 00:34:34,997 --> 00:34:36,459 (PEOPLE CLAPPING) 680 00:34:37,942 --> 00:34:40,178 (BAND PLAYING IT HAD TO BE YOU) 681 00:34:46,357 --> 00:34:48,626 ARCARA: (SINGING) It had to be you 682 00:34:50,645 --> 00:34:53,460 It had to be you 683 00:34:53,558 --> 00:34:54,867 $ 10,000. 684 00:34:54,966 --> 00:34:56,908 (SINGING) I wandered around 685 00:34:57,013 --> 00:35:01,421 And finally found the somebody who... 686 00:35:03,093 --> 00:35:04,555 TREY: Dad! Dad! 687 00:35:06,005 --> 00:35:08,755 - (GARGLING) What is it? - Dad, it's an emergency. 688 00:35:10,326 --> 00:35:14,003 - Where's the fire? - There's something wrong with Albert. 689 00:35:14,101 --> 00:35:16,240 (SQUEALING) 690 00:35:16,342 --> 00:35:17,487 JAMES: What's up with him? 691 00:35:17,589 --> 00:35:20,688 Just guessing, but he might have eaten all the coffee beans you threw away. 692 00:35:20,790 --> 00:35:21,717 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 693 00:35:21,813 --> 00:35:24,017 Room service. I got cookies for the... 694 00:35:24,469 --> 00:35:25,418 (GASPS) 695 00:35:25,525 --> 00:35:26,736 Oh, no! 696 00:35:29,526 --> 00:35:32,787 - Trey, stay put. The pig's gone crazy. - TREY: Albert, get back here! 697 00:35:34,101 --> 00:35:36,785 Albert! Get the pig! Get the pig! 698 00:35:38,197 --> 00:35:40,434 Where'd he go? Where'd he go? 699 00:35:42,037 --> 00:35:43,663 Little Houdini pig. 700 00:35:43,926 --> 00:35:44,853 (GASPING) 701 00:35:44,950 --> 00:35:45,898 Oh! 702 00:35:47,189 --> 00:35:48,531 There he is! 703 00:35:51,445 --> 00:35:52,427 (SIGHS) 704 00:35:52,533 --> 00:35:54,256 Looks like we got ourselves a wedding crasher. 705 00:35:54,357 --> 00:35:55,633 I'm on it. 706 00:35:55,733 --> 00:36:00,272 Settle down. Settle down. Thank you, thank you. 707 00:36:00,565 --> 00:36:02,605 At this time I'd like to make a toast 708 00:36:02,709 --> 00:36:05,808 to my little angel and my new son-in-law, Ted. 709 00:36:07,157 --> 00:36:10,572 And, Teddy, you had better take care of my little girl. 710 00:36:10,677 --> 00:36:12,564 Because she is an absolute... 711 00:36:12,661 --> 00:36:13,589 Pig! 712 00:36:13,686 --> 00:36:14,634 Pig. 713 00:36:14,741 --> 00:36:15,669 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 714 00:36:15,766 --> 00:36:16,748 Excuse me? 715 00:36:17,269 --> 00:36:18,197 (THUDDING) 716 00:36:20,949 --> 00:36:22,542 (SQUEALING) 717 00:36:22,742 --> 00:36:23,669 Pudding! 718 00:36:23,765 --> 00:36:25,358 - Daddy! - ARCARA: Get that pig! 719 00:36:25,462 --> 00:36:26,988 Get it! Get it! Get it! 720 00:36:27,157 --> 00:36:28,367 (SQUEALING) 721 00:36:31,285 --> 00:36:32,910 ARCARA: What's wrong with you guys? 722 00:36:33,013 --> 00:36:35,631 No, Albert. Albert! 723 00:36:35,733 --> 00:36:38,100 Ted! Don't just lay there, get up and get him! 724 00:36:38,198 --> 00:36:40,052 Albert. Get back here! 725 00:36:42,165 --> 00:36:43,212 (SCREAMING) 726 00:36:45,653 --> 00:36:47,890 (SQUEALING) 727 00:36:51,509 --> 00:36:53,811 My Cinderella wedding is ruined! 728 00:36:53,910 --> 00:36:57,619 I'm sorry. But I didn't want a pig. I told the wife, I said, "Get a little..." 729 00:36:57,717 --> 00:37:00,368 - So this is your pig? - It's my little boy's pig. 730 00:37:00,469 --> 00:37:03,633 He want... Albert! Get down, Albert! 731 00:37:03,733 --> 00:37:04,911 (SQUEALING) 732 00:37:06,198 --> 00:37:07,507 ARCARA: Get him! 733 00:37:10,101 --> 00:37:11,181 (GRUNTS) 734 00:37:14,326 --> 00:37:15,700 Albert! 735 00:37:20,853 --> 00:37:21,780 (MOANING) 736 00:37:25,717 --> 00:37:26,830 No! 737 00:37:29,430 --> 00:37:30,804 (SCREAMING) 738 00:37:30,902 --> 00:37:32,047 LILY: Daddy! 739 00:37:35,798 --> 00:37:38,797 JAMES: Rise and shine. 740 00:37:39,445 --> 00:37:40,427 Ah! 741 00:37:40,533 --> 00:37:42,508 We got to roll. Time to go. 742 00:37:43,573 --> 00:37:46,356 There's a gas station 40 miles up the road. 743 00:37:46,453 --> 00:37:49,323 Got to get some food in you. Who's up for pigs in a blanket? 744 00:37:49,429 --> 00:37:50,411 (SQUEALS) 745 00:37:50,517 --> 00:37:51,465 What? 746 00:37:51,573 --> 00:37:52,521 (LAUGHING) 747 00:37:52,630 --> 00:37:54,124 No, I'm not... 748 00:37:54,646 --> 00:37:56,075 (TALKING GIBBERISH) 749 00:37:56,181 --> 00:37:57,425 Okay, whatever. 750 00:37:59,509 --> 00:38:00,719 What a night. 751 00:38:00,821 --> 00:38:04,017 They're gonna have one wild wedding video. 752 00:38:04,117 --> 00:38:07,183 At least we know when times are rough, the Porters know how to rally together. 753 00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:08,714 - Right? - Yeah. 754 00:38:09,717 --> 00:38:12,499 That's right. The Porters will rally. 755 00:38:12,597 --> 00:38:13,709 (DOOR OPENS) 756 00:38:13,941 --> 00:38:14,890 (LAUGHING) 757 00:38:14,997 --> 00:38:16,208 I don't believe it! 758 00:38:16,309 --> 00:38:17,553 (SQUEALING) 759 00:38:17,653 --> 00:38:19,147 Shiver me timbers. 760 00:38:19,285 --> 00:38:20,627 (BOTH LAUGHING) 761 00:38:20,725 --> 00:38:25,995 In the words of my favorite ride ever, "It's a small world after all." 762 00:38:26,101 --> 00:38:29,167 - What are you guys doing here? - Well, me and the little "cowgirl" 763 00:38:29,269 --> 00:38:30,217 (IMITATING SHOOTING) 764 00:38:30,325 --> 00:38:34,067 just picking up a dozen donuts before we hit the "rodeo." 765 00:38:34,165 --> 00:38:35,212 What about you? 766 00:38:35,349 --> 00:38:37,771 We just had a little trouble with the car. 767 00:38:37,877 --> 00:38:38,805 (BOTH MOAN) 768 00:38:41,301 --> 00:38:42,763 (WHISPERING) 769 00:38:45,141 --> 00:38:47,891 Well, new friend, your luck just changed. 770 00:38:48,853 --> 00:38:50,926 (BOTH SINGING) We wish you a Merry Christmas 771 00:38:51,029 --> 00:38:52,720 We wish you a Merry Christmas 772 00:38:52,821 --> 00:38:57,840 We wish you a Merry Christmas 773 00:38:57,941 --> 00:38:59,763 And a Happy New Year 774 00:38:59,861 --> 00:39:01,268 (SQUEALING) 775 00:39:02,710 --> 00:39:05,077 I just love Christmas carols. Don't you? 776 00:39:05,173 --> 00:39:06,897 Just give me a chorus of Joy to the World, 777 00:39:06,997 --> 00:39:08,721 and I'm as mad as a hatter! 778 00:39:08,822 --> 00:39:09,999 (LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) 779 00:39:10,773 --> 00:39:12,180 - (WHISPERING) They're crazy. - I know. 780 00:39:12,277 --> 00:39:15,408 So, JP, looking forward to the big day? 781 00:39:15,509 --> 00:39:16,436 What day is that? 782 00:39:16,533 --> 00:39:20,079 The day our precious little ones "Shuffle off to Buffalo." 783 00:39:20,181 --> 00:39:21,359 I gotta tell you, this road trip 784 00:39:21,461 --> 00:39:23,501 has been the greatest experience for Wendy and I. 785 00:39:23,605 --> 00:39:25,166 I mean, there's just so much to talk about. 786 00:39:25,269 --> 00:39:28,368 Yeah, it's like we're getting to know each other all over again. 787 00:39:28,469 --> 00:39:29,713 - Jinx! - Jinx! 788 00:39:29,813 --> 00:39:31,820 (SINGING) Getting to know you 789 00:39:31,925 --> 00:39:32,907 (INAUDIBLE) 790 00:39:33,013 --> 00:39:35,282 Getting to know all about you 791 00:39:35,381 --> 00:39:37,748 DOUG: (SINGING) Getting to like you 792 00:39:37,845 --> 00:39:40,234 Getting to hope you like me 793 00:39:40,341 --> 00:39:42,164 - I like you. - I like you, too! 794 00:39:42,261 --> 00:39:46,734 It was an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini 795 00:39:46,837 --> 00:39:49,706 That she wore for the first time today 796 00:39:49,813 --> 00:39:52,562 So, Melanie, what other schools are you looking at? 797 00:39:52,661 --> 00:39:54,287 Actually, I have an interview at Georgetown. 798 00:39:54,389 --> 00:39:58,612 Wow! Georgetown, great school! So what would you study? 799 00:39:58,709 --> 00:40:00,684 Pre-law. I want to get into the Cooper Program. 800 00:40:00,789 --> 00:40:04,433 The Cooper Program, no way! I always wanted to go to Japan. 801 00:40:06,197 --> 00:40:08,815 Japan? What about Japan? 802 00:40:08,917 --> 00:40:10,989 Sure, you study abroad at their sister school. 803 00:40:11,093 --> 00:40:12,784 - Tokyo, right? - Tokyo? 804 00:40:18,101 --> 00:40:20,305 Here you go. 805 00:40:20,405 --> 00:40:23,122 Look, Doug. I really appreciate this, man. 806 00:40:23,221 --> 00:40:25,261 Can I help you out with gas money, anything? 807 00:40:25,365 --> 00:40:26,772 - Gas money? - Yeah. 808 00:40:26,869 --> 00:40:28,974 We charge hugs in this family. 809 00:40:30,325 --> 00:40:31,950 (DOUG GUFFAWING) 810 00:40:34,677 --> 00:40:36,270 One more for luck! 811 00:40:41,173 --> 00:40:42,635 - Thank you. - You mean... 812 00:40:42,741 --> 00:40:44,563 (SINGING) So long, farewell 813 00:40:44,661 --> 00:40:46,287 Auf Wiedersehen, adieu 814 00:40:46,389 --> 00:40:47,950 Adieu, adieu 815 00:40:48,053 --> 00:40:49,842 To you and you and you 816 00:40:49,941 --> 00:40:52,494 (HUMMING) 817 00:40:52,597 --> 00:40:55,216 - See you! - WENDY: Bye! I call shotgun! 818 00:40:57,653 --> 00:40:59,661 Goodbye 819 00:40:59,765 --> 00:41:01,653 Goodbye 820 00:41:01,749 --> 00:41:05,045 Goodbye 821 00:41:05,141 --> 00:41:06,351 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 822 00:41:07,253 --> 00:41:09,228 DOUG: Au revoir! WENDY: Adiós! 823 00:41:09,333 --> 00:41:11,121 - See you! Jinx! - See you! Jinx! 824 00:41:11,253 --> 00:41:12,496 (BOTH LAUGHING) 825 00:41:13,653 --> 00:41:15,595 So... We missed the bus. 826 00:41:15,701 --> 00:41:18,286 But I did manage to get us a seat on a tour bus. 827 00:41:20,277 --> 00:41:21,619 At least there won't be any singing. 828 00:41:25,077 --> 00:41:29,965 (SINGING) Sister Christian, oh, the time has come 829 00:41:30,069 --> 00:41:33,811 And you know that you're the only one 830 00:41:33,909 --> 00:41:36,178 To say 831 00:41:36,277 --> 00:41:37,738 Okay 832 00:41:37,845 --> 00:41:39,820 Yeah, this is much better. 833 00:41:43,093 --> 00:41:45,962 It's just one semester. 834 00:41:46,069 --> 00:41:48,174 It's not like I'm getting a Japanese citizenship. 835 00:41:48,277 --> 00:41:50,066 You want to go halfway around the world, 836 00:41:50,165 --> 00:41:52,979 and I have to learn about it in a stranger's car? 837 00:41:53,077 --> 00:41:55,346 I'm just disappointed. 838 00:41:55,445 --> 00:41:57,071 We used to be tight. 839 00:41:57,173 --> 00:41:59,181 I'm sorry, Dad, it's just that I... 840 00:41:59,285 --> 00:42:02,766 You don't tell me about Georgetown. You don't tell me about Japan. 841 00:42:02,869 --> 00:42:05,552 You didn't even remember our special song. 842 00:42:07,029 --> 00:42:10,193 I feel like I don't know anything about you anymore. 843 00:42:12,981 --> 00:42:15,250 What are we gonna do about them? 844 00:42:15,349 --> 00:42:17,007 (PEOPLE CLAPPING) 845 00:42:23,861 --> 00:42:25,421 That was great. That was great. 846 00:42:25,524 --> 00:42:27,794 Let me just borrow the mic, sir. I'm next. 847 00:42:27,893 --> 00:42:31,308 No, let me just... Give me the mic, sir. Let go of the mic, sir. 848 00:42:33,973 --> 00:42:35,631 Hi, everyone. 849 00:42:35,733 --> 00:42:37,009 Hi. 850 00:42:38,037 --> 00:42:41,386 First, thank you so much for letting us on this bus. 851 00:42:41,493 --> 00:42:43,827 My family and I, we're on a very special trip, 852 00:42:43,925 --> 00:42:45,899 and I'd kind of like to sing a song 853 00:42:46,005 --> 00:42:49,550 that my father and I used to sing when I was a little girl. 854 00:42:50,901 --> 00:42:52,145 (CLEARS THROAT) 855 00:42:54,709 --> 00:42:56,432 Okay. Brother. 856 00:42:56,533 --> 00:42:58,704 I'm gonna need you to give me a little bass on this one, all right? 857 00:42:58,805 --> 00:42:59,787 Like this. 858 00:43:00,021 --> 00:43:02,639 (HUMMING) 859 00:43:04,053 --> 00:43:05,940 (HUMMING) 860 00:43:07,285 --> 00:43:08,397 Who's next? 861 00:43:08,501 --> 00:43:10,803 (HUMMING) 862 00:43:10,901 --> 00:43:11,883 (SINGING) That's it 863 00:43:11,989 --> 00:43:14,924 Gimme a "Ho!" if you've got your funky bus fare 864 00:43:15,029 --> 00:43:16,011 ALL: Ho! 865 00:43:16,117 --> 00:43:19,499 There's a double dutch bus coming down the street 866 00:43:19,605 --> 00:43:23,795 Moving pretty fast So kind of shuffle your feet 867 00:43:23,893 --> 00:43:27,275 Get on the bus and pay your fare 868 00:43:27,381 --> 00:43:30,959 And tell the driver that you're going to a double dutch affair 869 00:43:31,060 --> 00:43:32,043 Follow me. 870 00:43:32,149 --> 00:43:33,742 Fe fi fo fum 871 00:43:33,845 --> 00:43:35,667 Fe fi fo fum 872 00:43:35,765 --> 00:43:37,707 Well, I'll be darned, here it comes 873 00:43:37,813 --> 00:43:39,668 Well, I'll be darned, here it comes 874 00:43:39,765 --> 00:43:41,620 The double dutch bus is on the street 875 00:43:41,717 --> 00:43:43,278 The double dutch bus is on the street 876 00:43:43,381 --> 00:43:45,585 You better get off the curb And move your feet 877 00:43:45,685 --> 00:43:47,376 Get off the curb And move your feet 878 00:43:47,477 --> 00:43:49,419 - Say "Ho!" - ALL: Ho! 879 00:43:49,525 --> 00:43:51,380 - Say "Ho! Ho!" - ALL: Ho! Ho! 880 00:43:51,477 --> 00:43:53,299 - Say "Uptown!" - ALL: Uptown! 881 00:43:53,397 --> 00:43:55,371 - Say "Downtown!" - ALL: Downtown! 882 00:43:55,477 --> 00:43:57,549 On the count of three Repeat after me 883 00:43:57,653 --> 00:43:59,027 One, two, three 884 00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:01,360 Bip, bomp, bam, alakazam 885 00:44:01,461 --> 00:44:03,534 But only when you're grooving With the double dutch man 886 00:44:03,637 --> 00:44:05,295 Bip, bomp, bam, alakazam 887 00:44:05,397 --> 00:44:07,536 But only when you're grooving With the double dutch man 888 00:44:07,637 --> 00:44:11,467 (HUMMING) 889 00:44:11,573 --> 00:44:15,468 (CROWD HUMMING) 890 00:44:15,572 --> 00:44:19,434 (HUMMING) 891 00:44:19,541 --> 00:44:22,388 (CROWD HUMMING) 892 00:44:22,485 --> 00:44:24,460 Everybody scream 893 00:44:24,597 --> 00:44:28,143 (ALL SCREAMING) 894 00:44:29,717 --> 00:44:31,310 And you said you didn't remember. 895 00:44:31,413 --> 00:44:33,933 Well, of course I remember, Dad. It's our song. 896 00:44:36,885 --> 00:44:40,944 - Tell me about this Cooper Program. - Oh, my goodness. It's so exciting. 897 00:44:41,045 --> 00:44:43,216 Okay, so I'm just like all about it. 898 00:44:44,053 --> 00:44:45,395 (INAUDIBLE) 899 00:45:18,932 --> 00:45:21,037 JAMES: You're just going to make a left down Maples, 900 00:45:21,141 --> 00:45:23,727 three blocks and we're there. Thank you. 901 00:45:23,829 --> 00:45:26,350 Dad, do you think that Grandma still knows we're coming? 902 00:45:26,453 --> 00:45:29,836 Well, I didn't call her. But it's not like she's going anywhere. 903 00:45:29,941 --> 00:45:32,014 Just remember, she's an old woman now. 904 00:45:32,117 --> 00:45:34,321 She's not as light on her feet. 905 00:45:35,797 --> 00:45:37,707 (LATIN MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 906 00:45:37,813 --> 00:45:38,860 (WHOOPS) 907 00:45:46,197 --> 00:45:47,506 Oh, yeah! 908 00:45:57,492 --> 00:46:00,559 - It's my son! - Not the control freak! 909 00:46:00,661 --> 00:46:01,741 Hide! 910 00:46:01,845 --> 00:46:05,106 MAN: We've got to get out of here. WOMAN: No, not there! 911 00:46:06,453 --> 00:46:07,401 Oh! 912 00:46:07,509 --> 00:46:10,989 Come on. What's on your mind? That won't work. 913 00:46:12,084 --> 00:46:13,677 If you're ever in Okinawa... 914 00:46:13,781 --> 00:46:14,893 - Goodbye! - Bye! 915 00:46:14,997 --> 00:46:16,175 Bye! 916 00:46:18,677 --> 00:46:21,873 You know they're gonna have that song in their head for the rest of their life. 917 00:46:21,973 --> 00:46:23,500 Everybody needs a little Double Dutch in their life. 918 00:46:23,604 --> 00:46:25,011 That's right, that's right. 919 00:46:25,109 --> 00:46:30,194 Oh, wow. Here we are. Home sweet home. 920 00:46:30,293 --> 00:46:33,999 I just hope the surprise isn't too much of a shock for her fragile heart. 921 00:46:34,101 --> 00:46:36,687 - She's getting up there in age. - She's 63. 922 00:46:39,285 --> 00:46:40,299 (DOORBELL RINGS) 923 00:46:40,405 --> 00:46:42,347 One second! 924 00:46:42,452 --> 00:46:44,045 ALL: We're here! 925 00:46:44,149 --> 00:46:45,937 - My goodness! - TREY: Hi, Grandma. 926 00:46:47,733 --> 00:46:52,010 Not so rough, you'll break her. Hey, Mama. Good to see you. 927 00:46:52,117 --> 00:46:55,215 WOMAN: Is the coast clear? Hello? 928 00:46:55,317 --> 00:46:56,265 Yoo-hoo! 929 00:47:02,709 --> 00:47:05,579 Now, Mama, I know you like the new security system. 930 00:47:05,685 --> 00:47:07,692 Uh-huh. It's lovely. 931 00:47:12,372 --> 00:47:13,681 Watch this. 932 00:47:15,381 --> 00:47:16,842 Check this out. 933 00:47:22,068 --> 00:47:24,043 - Floodlights. - Oh, my goodness. 934 00:47:24,148 --> 00:47:28,371 - Pretty impressive, right? - James, it looks like a football field! 935 00:47:28,469 --> 00:47:32,811 - GIRLS: Melanie! - Oh, my goodness, I can't believe it! 936 00:47:32,917 --> 00:47:35,535 Oh, my goodness! Hi. 937 00:47:35,637 --> 00:47:39,117 Oh, my gosh! No! What are you doing here? 938 00:47:39,221 --> 00:47:42,221 - Yeah, what are you all doing here? - After you couldn't make it yesterday, 939 00:47:42,324 --> 00:47:44,658 we just decided to stay an extra night at my sister's and surprise you. 940 00:47:44,756 --> 00:47:46,611 You can sleep over at my sister's like we planned. 941 00:47:46,709 --> 00:47:50,604 This is amazing! Amazing! This is the bestest, isn't it? 942 00:47:50,709 --> 00:47:52,782 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Totally. 943 00:47:52,884 --> 00:47:56,267 Thank you. Thank you, guys! Okay, bye, you guys. 944 00:47:56,405 --> 00:47:58,412 You're awesome! Come on, you guys, let's go. 945 00:47:58,517 --> 00:48:01,583 Don't forget, we got a 10:00 flight to DC in the morning. 946 00:48:01,684 --> 00:48:03,572 Dad, don't worry. I'll be home by 8:00. 947 00:48:03,669 --> 00:48:06,035 Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! 948 00:48:10,869 --> 00:48:12,724 Good night, James. 949 00:48:12,821 --> 00:48:15,090 You sure you don't want to wait for me to finish this? 950 00:48:15,189 --> 00:48:17,360 I think I'll survive the night. 951 00:48:21,205 --> 00:48:22,187 (YAWNS) 952 00:48:22,292 --> 00:48:24,496 Albert and I are going to sleep. 953 00:48:26,357 --> 00:48:27,600 Good night, Son. 954 00:48:29,172 --> 00:48:32,140 You still mad at me for coming on the trip? 955 00:48:32,244 --> 00:48:34,154 Son, no. 956 00:48:34,261 --> 00:48:37,261 No, I could never stay mad at you. You're my little man. 957 00:48:38,389 --> 00:48:40,974 - I love you, Dad. - I love you, too, Son. 958 00:48:43,861 --> 00:48:45,868 - Good night. - Get some rest. 959 00:48:52,597 --> 00:48:55,532 MAN ON TV: The gazelle daughter remains at its father's side, 960 00:48:55,637 --> 00:48:57,393 seeking protection and security, 961 00:48:57,493 --> 00:49:01,454 for if it veers off, it becomes vulnerable to a myriad of predators. 962 00:49:01,556 --> 00:49:04,426 What are you doing, gazelle? Stay with your daddy. 963 00:49:04,532 --> 00:49:07,499 Without the parent's guidance, the offspring are at the mercy 964 00:49:07,605 --> 00:49:11,282 of the harsh and unforgiving animal universe. 965 00:49:11,381 --> 00:49:16,083 Let's watch as the cheetah rips the little gazelle's head clean off. 966 00:49:16,181 --> 00:49:19,028 Poor little gazelle, you should have stayed with your father. 967 00:49:19,157 --> 00:49:20,367 (MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES) 968 00:49:20,468 --> 00:49:21,451 (HUMMING) 969 00:49:22,197 --> 00:49:23,626 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 970 00:49:26,420 --> 00:49:27,795 (COUGHING) 971 00:49:29,717 --> 00:49:32,302 - Hello? - Who's this? 972 00:49:32,405 --> 00:49:35,918 - It's Chris. - Chris? What are you doing there? 973 00:49:36,020 --> 00:49:37,581 Duh, I live here. 974 00:49:37,780 --> 00:49:38,893 Where's Melanie? 975 00:49:38,996 --> 00:49:40,523 I don't know. I think she's in the shower. 976 00:49:40,628 --> 00:49:42,090 Hey. Hey, Bobbi. 977 00:49:42,196 --> 00:49:44,236 Can you check and see if Melanie's in the shower? 978 00:49:44,341 --> 00:49:45,519 Shower! 979 00:49:47,348 --> 00:49:49,356 (BIG STUFF PLAYING) 980 00:49:51,924 --> 00:49:53,331 Oh, yeah 981 00:49:53,429 --> 00:49:55,185 (GROANING) 982 00:49:56,821 --> 00:49:59,242 Mr. Big Stuff 983 00:49:59,604 --> 00:50:01,327 Who do you think you are? 984 00:50:01,428 --> 00:50:03,795 Mr. Big Stuff 985 00:50:04,501 --> 00:50:06,956 You're never gonna get my love 986 00:50:07,061 --> 00:50:08,719 Mr. Big Stuff, tell me 987 00:50:08,820 --> 00:50:09,769 (DOORBELL RINGS) 988 00:50:09,876 --> 00:50:11,437 Who do you think you are? 989 00:50:11,540 --> 00:50:12,947 Mr. Big Stuff 990 00:50:15,124 --> 00:50:17,742 - Can I help you? - I need to see my daughter. 991 00:50:17,844 --> 00:50:20,233 - Who's your daughter? - Melanie Porter. 992 00:50:20,340 --> 00:50:22,762 She's not a student here, she's just spending the night. 993 00:50:22,868 --> 00:50:25,138 - It will only take a minute. - Who is she staying with? 994 00:50:25,236 --> 00:50:27,341 - Katie's sister. - Katie's sister. 995 00:50:27,444 --> 00:50:28,459 Yeah. 996 00:50:28,564 --> 00:50:30,125 I'm gonna need a little more than that. 997 00:50:30,228 --> 00:50:33,130 Ma'am, it's okay. I'm a police officer. 998 00:50:33,237 --> 00:50:37,808 Oh, thank goodness. Where's your badge, officer? 999 00:50:37,908 --> 00:50:38,988 It's back at my mom's. 1000 00:50:39,093 --> 00:50:40,041 Oh! 1001 00:50:40,148 --> 00:50:43,661 You still live with your mom. That's nice. 1002 00:50:43,764 --> 00:50:46,666 Look, I know what this sounds like. 1003 00:50:46,772 --> 00:50:49,456 Sounds like you're not getting in my sorority. 1004 00:50:49,557 --> 00:50:52,459 - Bye-bye, now. - Melanie! Melanie! 1005 00:50:53,012 --> 00:50:56,012 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 1006 00:50:56,116 --> 00:50:57,294 Melanie! 1007 00:50:57,524 --> 00:50:59,761 (GIRLS SHOUTING) 1008 00:51:03,861 --> 00:51:05,519 Fight! Fight! 1009 00:51:08,852 --> 00:51:11,667 Mel! Don't touch her! Mel! 1010 00:51:12,788 --> 00:51:14,544 (GIRLS SCREAMING) 1011 00:51:21,749 --> 00:51:25,546 I've got you! Daddy's coming, baby! Daddy's coming. 1012 00:51:35,828 --> 00:51:36,908 (GROANS) 1013 00:51:37,973 --> 00:51:39,347 (SQUEALING) 1014 00:51:56,757 --> 00:51:58,163 (GIRLS SCREAMING) 1015 00:52:09,749 --> 00:52:11,723 Oh, my goodness, you guys. 1016 00:52:29,012 --> 00:52:33,354 - Mel, should I get my hair highlighted? - That could be pretty. 1017 00:52:35,348 --> 00:52:37,737 Do you think I should get color contacts? 1018 00:52:37,845 --> 00:52:40,494 KATIE: That could be pretty. 1019 00:52:40,596 --> 00:52:44,819 - Think I should get sparkly lip gloss? - MELANIE: That could be pretty. 1020 00:52:44,917 --> 00:52:47,053 I am so glad we had this talk. 1021 00:52:51,764 --> 00:52:54,285 Wow, you actually talked to your dad? 1022 00:52:55,637 --> 00:52:58,670 I talked to him about everything, my whole plan. 1023 00:52:59,540 --> 00:53:01,711 Major in political science, minor in American history 1024 00:53:01,812 --> 00:53:04,659 and then to the Cooper Program for Japan. 1025 00:53:04,756 --> 00:53:05,705 Wow. 1026 00:53:05,812 --> 00:53:08,430 He was actually excited to hear about it. 1027 00:53:10,260 --> 00:53:13,162 I think I might've misjudged him this whole time. 1028 00:53:13,269 --> 00:53:16,400 It's the first time I remember us having a real conversation. 1029 00:53:16,501 --> 00:53:19,501 He listened to me. He treated me like an adult. 1030 00:53:22,036 --> 00:53:25,168 I know he's done a lot of crazy things in the past, 1031 00:53:25,716 --> 00:53:27,920 but on the bus, it was different. 1032 00:53:28,180 --> 00:53:29,424 He changed. 1033 00:53:32,469 --> 00:53:36,691 I think he actually trusts me to be on my own and make my own decisions. 1034 00:53:48,308 --> 00:53:49,650 - Georgetown! - Georgetown! 1035 00:53:49,749 --> 00:53:50,796 (SQUEALING) 1036 00:53:51,188 --> 00:53:54,222 (POP SONG PLAYING ON RADIO) 1037 00:53:54,356 --> 00:53:55,600 (SNORING) 1038 00:54:00,820 --> 00:54:01,747 (MUSIC STOPS) 1039 00:54:01,844 --> 00:54:02,924 (SNORING CONTINUES) 1040 00:54:09,204 --> 00:54:11,276 (BOTH SCREAMING) 1041 00:54:13,812 --> 00:54:14,760 (BLOWING WHISTLE) 1042 00:54:14,868 --> 00:54:18,577 No, no. I'm a father! Listen, calm down! 1043 00:54:19,412 --> 00:54:20,873 I knew it. 1044 00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:22,315 (TASER BUZZING) 1045 00:54:22,420 --> 00:54:24,657 No, this... This ain't what it looks... 1046 00:54:24,820 --> 00:54:27,471 (TASER BUZZING) 1047 00:54:28,436 --> 00:54:29,484 (THUDDING) 1048 00:54:32,820 --> 00:54:36,115 Where is he? Still no answer. We're gonna miss our flight. 1049 00:54:36,212 --> 00:54:37,706 You gotta line up the colors. 1050 00:54:37,812 --> 00:54:38,990 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1051 00:54:39,860 --> 00:54:42,130 Hello? Yes, this is she. 1052 00:54:43,957 --> 00:54:46,444 What? He's where? 1053 00:54:47,445 --> 00:54:49,550 (SIGHS) I cannot believe this. 1054 00:54:53,076 --> 00:54:56,905 For the last time, I have to get my daughter to Georgetown. 1055 00:54:57,012 --> 00:54:59,084 Right. Sure, yeah. 1056 00:55:04,212 --> 00:55:05,161 (DOORBELL BUZZES) 1057 00:55:05,268 --> 00:55:06,413 Come in. 1058 00:55:09,844 --> 00:55:13,324 Hi, my name is Melanie Porter. I got a call about my father. Is he okay? 1059 00:55:13,428 --> 00:55:16,941 The individual in custody was discovered this morning on campus 1060 00:55:17,044 --> 00:55:21,779 sleeping underneath a girl's bed at the Omega Psi Lambda house. 1061 00:55:21,876 --> 00:55:24,527 Mel! My baby girl. 1062 00:55:24,628 --> 00:55:26,319 You ain't gonna believe what happened. 1063 00:55:26,420 --> 00:55:29,235 I tried calling you, and some guy answered the phone. 1064 00:55:29,333 --> 00:55:31,754 - And it was kind of... - This man is not my father. 1065 00:55:31,861 --> 00:55:32,908 Melanie Porter. 1066 00:55:33,012 --> 00:55:35,216 Because my father would never cross the line like that. 1067 00:55:35,316 --> 00:55:37,967 He would trust me to make smart choices. 1068 00:55:39,444 --> 00:55:42,094 - Excuse me, but I have a flight to catch. - Mel. 1069 00:55:42,196 --> 00:55:44,138 Mel! Don't walk away from... Mel! 1070 00:55:46,708 --> 00:55:47,854 (SNIFFLING) 1071 00:55:56,148 --> 00:55:58,253 Roger Wilco. Over and out. 1072 00:56:05,109 --> 00:56:07,312 Free to go. Someone sprung you. 1073 00:56:15,220 --> 00:56:16,365 James. 1074 00:56:17,556 --> 00:56:21,353 Mama, what's going on? And where's Melanie and Trey? 1075 00:56:22,804 --> 00:56:26,994 Trey's taking Albert for a walk, and Melanie's trying to catch her plane. 1076 00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:29,263 And you let her go without me? 1077 00:56:29,364 --> 00:56:30,890 Sit down, James. 1078 00:56:33,812 --> 00:56:36,113 Melanie told me what happened at Northwestern. 1079 00:56:36,212 --> 00:56:37,292 I can explain that. 1080 00:56:37,397 --> 00:56:39,120 You didn't want her to go to Georgetown, 1081 00:56:39,220 --> 00:56:41,707 so you concocted some ridiculous plan. 1082 00:56:41,812 --> 00:56:43,634 I'm just trying to keep everybody safe. 1083 00:56:43,732 --> 00:56:45,641 (SCOFFS) James. 1084 00:56:45,748 --> 00:56:49,261 You took my home and you turned it into a high-security prison. 1085 00:56:49,364 --> 00:56:51,339 You can't even let her spend the night with some friends 1086 00:56:51,444 --> 00:56:53,298 without creeping around like a cat burglar. 1087 00:56:53,396 --> 00:56:55,022 What do you expect me to do? 1088 00:56:55,124 --> 00:56:58,986 How am I supposed to know she's safe if she goes all the way to Washington? 1089 00:56:59,220 --> 00:57:02,865 James, how do you think I felt when you left to join the army? 1090 00:57:02,964 --> 00:57:06,062 - I don't know, Mama. - I was terrified! 1091 00:57:06,164 --> 00:57:10,190 I worried about you all the time. I still do. 1092 00:57:10,292 --> 00:57:14,863 But you had to follow your own path, and I had to let you leave the nest. 1093 00:57:14,964 --> 00:57:18,761 I wanted you home every day you were gone, 1094 00:57:18,868 --> 00:57:20,526 but I had to trust you. 1095 00:57:20,628 --> 00:57:24,206 I had to trust that you could take care of yourself. 1096 00:57:24,308 --> 00:57:28,531 And I had to believe in you. So why can't you believe in her? 1097 00:57:55,540 --> 00:57:57,874 - I'll see you back at home. - Is Mom gonna kill me? 1098 00:57:57,972 --> 00:58:00,689 I got your back on this one. Just don't let it happen again. 1099 00:58:00,788 --> 00:58:02,544 - Good luck. - You'll need this. 1100 00:58:02,644 --> 00:58:04,880 - Mama, I love you. - I love you, too, Son. 1101 00:58:04,980 --> 00:58:06,224 TREY: Bye, Dad. 1102 00:58:11,028 --> 00:58:13,995 Excuse me. The flight to DC, has it left yet? 1103 00:58:14,100 --> 00:58:16,883 I'm sorry, sir. I'm afraid you've missed it. 1104 00:58:27,316 --> 00:58:28,243 Mel. 1105 00:58:32,020 --> 00:58:33,100 Hi. 1106 00:58:34,676 --> 00:58:36,050 You missed the flight. 1107 00:58:36,148 --> 00:58:38,537 I wouldn't have if you hadn't gotten yourself arrested. 1108 00:58:38,644 --> 00:58:41,644 - Mel, look. I was... - Dad, listen. 1109 00:58:41,748 --> 00:58:44,747 Georgetown is... It's over. 1110 00:58:44,852 --> 00:58:46,445 You know, you're getting exactly what you wanted. 1111 00:58:46,548 --> 00:58:48,784 Me, closer to home. 1112 00:58:48,884 --> 00:58:51,055 Baby, that's what I came here to tell you. 1113 00:58:51,156 --> 00:58:52,497 I don't want that anymore. 1114 00:58:52,596 --> 00:58:54,865 - What are you talking about? - You know... 1115 00:58:56,052 --> 00:58:58,473 Dads don't know everything. 1116 00:58:58,580 --> 00:59:01,198 We just try to do the best we can. 1117 00:59:01,300 --> 00:59:03,372 Last night, when I came to the sorority house? 1118 00:59:03,476 --> 00:59:05,418 I was trying to protect you. 1119 00:59:05,524 --> 00:59:08,972 That's what I do. I protect people. 1120 00:59:09,076 --> 00:59:11,215 Now, sometimes I go too far. 1121 00:59:11,316 --> 00:59:14,250 - In this case, I went way too far. - Dad... 1122 00:59:14,356 --> 00:59:16,428 No, baby, look. I love you. 1123 00:59:16,532 --> 00:59:21,388 But I was so into what I wanted for you that I couldn't see what you wanted. 1124 00:59:21,492 --> 00:59:23,597 I want what every girl wants. 1125 00:59:25,716 --> 00:59:28,977 I want a dad who loves me, who adores me. 1126 00:59:29,076 --> 00:59:31,978 I want you to know that you raised a really good girl. 1127 00:59:32,084 --> 00:59:33,906 I want you to trust me. 1128 00:59:39,988 --> 00:59:43,436 Guess I still see you as that little six-year-old girl 1129 00:59:43,540 --> 00:59:45,645 singing Double Dutch Bus. 1130 00:59:46,708 --> 00:59:49,774 I'm not that little girl anymore, Daddy. 1131 00:59:49,876 --> 00:59:51,981 I've grown up. 1132 00:59:52,084 --> 00:59:56,110 Reality is, you've shown me I can trust you. 1133 00:59:57,524 --> 00:59:58,768 You have. 1134 01:00:00,628 --> 01:00:02,864 Okay, I'll make a deal with you. 1135 01:00:04,276 --> 01:00:07,985 No more my plan, only your plan. 1136 01:00:08,084 --> 01:00:10,386 Now let's get you to Georgetown. 1137 01:00:10,484 --> 01:00:11,661 Deal. 1138 01:00:11,860 --> 01:00:12,907 (GIGGLES) 1139 01:00:16,084 --> 01:00:20,240 I don't care if Bob's here or not, we got to be in DC by 3:30. 1140 01:00:20,340 --> 01:00:24,268 DC. Flow with me, Mel. Flow with me! 1141 01:00:25,171 --> 01:00:27,211 Excuse me. Excuse me! 1142 01:00:30,292 --> 01:00:33,805 - Is the plane going to Washington? - Yeah, but it's for team members only. 1143 01:00:33,908 --> 01:00:36,778 We got a police emergency. You have to let us on that plane. 1144 01:00:36,884 --> 01:00:39,983 - Are you guys divers? - Yeah. 1145 01:00:40,084 --> 01:00:41,993 Big time. Huge divers. 1146 01:00:45,076 --> 01:00:47,149 Since I was a baby. 1147 01:00:47,251 --> 01:00:49,040 Well, climb on board. 1148 01:00:51,892 --> 01:00:54,740 (DON'T BRING ME DOWN PLAYING) 1149 01:01:01,844 --> 01:01:04,910 You got me runnin' goin' out of my mind 1150 01:01:05,012 --> 01:01:08,208 You got me thinkin' that I'm wastin' my time 1151 01:01:08,308 --> 01:01:10,315 Don't bring me down 1152 01:01:10,708 --> 01:01:13,457 No, no, no, no, no 1153 01:01:16,532 --> 01:01:19,947 I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor 1154 01:01:20,052 --> 01:01:22,954 Don't bring me down, down, down 1155 01:01:23,060 --> 01:01:25,362 - We did it. - Yeah. We did it. 1156 01:01:28,948 --> 01:01:30,289 Excuse me. 1157 01:01:30,388 --> 01:01:34,479 I never heard of a diving team having their own plane. 1158 01:01:34,580 --> 01:01:37,362 Be pretty hard to do our thing without one. 1159 01:01:38,483 --> 01:01:42,225 I thought all you'd need is a swimming pool and a bouncy board. 1160 01:01:42,323 --> 01:01:44,712 Wrong kind of diving team, man! 1161 01:01:44,820 --> 01:01:47,340 Well, what sort of diving team are you? 1162 01:01:52,660 --> 01:01:54,635 (BOTH SCREAMING) 1163 01:01:56,371 --> 01:01:57,680 Rock and roll! 1164 01:01:57,780 --> 01:01:58,762 (WHOOPING) 1165 01:01:58,868 --> 01:02:02,283 Dad! Dad, a skydiving team! 1166 01:02:02,387 --> 01:02:05,966 You mean, we're not landing in DC? 1167 01:02:06,068 --> 01:02:08,523 We are, but the plane's not. 1168 01:02:08,628 --> 01:02:11,661 But we got to get to Georgetown now! 1169 01:02:11,764 --> 01:02:14,481 There's only one way that's gonna happen! 1170 01:02:16,852 --> 01:02:18,062 (SHOUTS) 1171 01:02:20,660 --> 01:02:22,253 USA! 1172 01:02:23,540 --> 01:02:24,750 (SCREAMING) 1173 01:02:25,171 --> 01:02:26,513 USA! 1174 01:02:26,612 --> 01:02:31,118 Don't bring me down 1175 01:02:31,220 --> 01:02:33,675 What happened to the girl I used to know? 1176 01:02:33,780 --> 01:02:34,892 (BOTH SCREAMING) 1177 01:02:34,996 --> 01:02:38,127 You let your mind out somewhere down the road 1178 01:02:38,228 --> 01:02:40,945 Don't bring me down 1179 01:02:41,043 --> 01:02:42,734 No, no, no, no, no 1180 01:02:42,836 --> 01:02:45,007 - We can do this! Okay! - Okay! 1181 01:02:45,108 --> 01:02:46,569 We got to get to Georgetown! 1182 01:02:46,676 --> 01:02:48,367 Okay, Daddy! 1183 01:02:48,467 --> 01:02:50,355 All right. One! 1184 01:02:50,452 --> 01:02:52,753 Two! Three! 1185 01:02:52,852 --> 01:02:55,241 (SCREAMING) 1186 01:03:01,043 --> 01:03:02,767 Now that's a great dad! 1187 01:03:03,219 --> 01:03:05,903 You got me shakin', got me runnin' away 1188 01:03:06,003 --> 01:03:07,378 Don't bring me down 1189 01:03:07,476 --> 01:03:09,647 Dad! Pull the cord! 1190 01:03:09,747 --> 01:03:11,984 - What? - Pull the cord! 1191 01:03:12,084 --> 01:03:14,505 Oh, yeah, the cord! 1192 01:03:17,971 --> 01:03:20,655 Don't bring me down 1193 01:03:22,964 --> 01:03:24,590 (CHUCKLING) 1194 01:03:25,907 --> 01:03:27,631 Sorry about the wedding, Lou. 1195 01:03:27,731 --> 01:03:29,357 Nice try, Phil. 1196 01:03:29,460 --> 01:03:31,150 But you're not going to psych me out. 1197 01:03:31,252 --> 01:03:35,213 After I make this putt, you owe me $20,000. 1198 01:03:36,627 --> 01:03:37,707 (CHUCKLES) 1199 01:03:38,964 --> 01:03:41,298 Happy days are here again. 1200 01:03:42,196 --> 01:03:43,886 - Look out! - Look out! 1201 01:03:44,532 --> 01:03:45,644 (SCREAMING) 1202 01:03:46,196 --> 01:03:47,406 (GROANING) 1203 01:03:51,764 --> 01:03:53,226 That was weird. 1204 01:03:56,052 --> 01:03:57,481 What happened? 1205 01:03:59,892 --> 01:04:01,997 How do you get out of this? 1206 01:04:02,100 --> 01:04:04,653 - Sorry about that. You okay? - You? 1207 01:04:04,756 --> 01:04:06,283 - Oh, no. - You! 1208 01:04:06,387 --> 01:04:08,427 I'm real sorry about your wedding. 1209 01:04:08,532 --> 01:04:11,848 - I'm going to kill you and your little pig! - Gotta go. 1210 01:04:11,956 --> 01:04:13,778 Let's go! That way! That way! 1211 01:04:15,219 --> 01:04:18,797 - That's my cart! - Move! Move! 1212 01:04:18,900 --> 01:04:21,005 MELANIE: I can see the campus right over there! 1213 01:04:21,108 --> 01:04:23,890 Ten minutes to spare. Ain't no stopping us now. 1214 01:04:23,988 --> 01:04:26,475 - Dad! - Surprise! 1215 01:04:26,580 --> 01:04:27,790 Are you out of your mind? 1216 01:04:27,892 --> 01:04:28,840 (CHORTLING) 1217 01:04:28,948 --> 01:04:30,988 Hand me the four-iron, Mel. 1218 01:04:32,020 --> 01:04:33,481 Take the wheel. 1219 01:04:36,116 --> 01:04:37,457 (BOTH EXCLAIMING) 1220 01:04:39,731 --> 01:04:41,870 - How we looking? - Looking good! 1221 01:04:42,484 --> 01:04:44,207 (BOTH SCREAMING) 1222 01:04:47,124 --> 01:04:48,051 (HONKING) 1223 01:04:49,396 --> 01:04:50,508 (WHOOPING) 1224 01:04:54,579 --> 01:04:55,561 (SCREAMING) 1225 01:05:09,491 --> 01:05:11,379 Is this part of the initiation? 1226 01:05:12,052 --> 01:05:13,262 MELANIE: Get out of the way! 1227 01:05:13,364 --> 01:05:14,411 (HONKING) 1228 01:05:16,596 --> 01:05:18,538 All right. Come on. We got one minute to go! 1229 01:05:18,643 --> 01:05:21,775 - Go, Mel! Go, Mel! Go, Mel! - I'm going! I'm going! 1230 01:05:23,091 --> 01:05:24,652 Daddy, elevator! 1231 01:05:26,931 --> 01:05:28,338 (ALL SHOUTING) 1232 01:05:29,043 --> 01:05:30,320 Wrong door! 1233 01:05:31,571 --> 01:05:32,946 Go! Go, move! 1234 01:05:33,043 --> 01:05:35,432 MELANIE: Work, work, work, work! Come on. 1235 01:05:37,876 --> 01:05:38,803 (CRASHING) 1236 01:05:39,763 --> 01:05:42,152 Sorry. I'm so very sorry about that one. 1237 01:05:42,260 --> 01:05:43,504 (GRUNTING) 1238 01:05:45,203 --> 01:05:47,090 Daddy, get it off of me! 1239 01:05:49,107 --> 01:05:50,514 (GRUNTING) 1240 01:05:53,747 --> 01:05:55,471 Hi. My name is Melanie Porter. 1241 01:05:55,571 --> 01:05:59,248 I have an interview with the admissions committee. 1242 01:05:59,348 --> 01:06:00,974 Of course. 1243 01:06:01,075 --> 01:06:02,701 Porter, Porter, Porter... 1244 01:06:04,467 --> 01:06:07,151 You made it just in time, Miss Porter. 1245 01:06:07,251 --> 01:06:08,528 They're all waiting for you, right in there. 1246 01:06:08,628 --> 01:06:09,871 Yes! Yes! 1247 01:06:13,459 --> 01:06:14,866 How do I look? 1248 01:06:14,963 --> 01:06:17,516 - Like an angel. All right. - Thanks, Dad. 1249 01:06:20,691 --> 01:06:22,284 That was horrible. 1250 01:06:26,420 --> 01:06:28,813 - Aren't you going in? - MAN: Next, please. 1251 01:06:33,971 --> 01:06:35,378 Mel. 1252 01:06:35,476 --> 01:06:36,523 What? 1253 01:06:38,356 --> 01:06:39,283 (SIGHS) 1254 01:06:41,491 --> 01:06:42,800 I'm afraid. 1255 01:06:43,860 --> 01:06:47,308 Well, guess what? I was afraid, too. 1256 01:06:47,411 --> 01:06:49,615 Dad, what are you afraid of? 1257 01:06:49,716 --> 01:06:52,050 I was afraid that if I let you go, 1258 01:06:52,148 --> 01:06:54,668 that you'd never need your daddy again. 1259 01:06:56,723 --> 01:06:58,862 But I'm always gonna need you. 1260 01:06:59,603 --> 01:07:03,859 Mel, this is what you gotta do. Go in there with all confidence. 1261 01:07:03,956 --> 01:07:06,890 Keep your head up. And do your best. 1262 01:07:08,308 --> 01:07:10,064 All you can do is win. 1263 01:07:12,019 --> 01:07:14,986 Yeah, I like that. 1264 01:07:15,091 --> 01:07:18,735 And if they don't accept you after that, it's their loss. 1265 01:07:22,100 --> 01:07:24,107 I'm so glad you're my dad. 1266 01:07:28,851 --> 01:07:31,023 Time for you to shine, baby. 1267 01:07:33,876 --> 01:07:35,948 I'm gonna let you go now. 1268 01:07:38,068 --> 01:07:39,791 Time to go. 1269 01:07:52,372 --> 01:07:53,833 Let's go, Trey. 1270 01:07:55,444 --> 01:07:57,483 - Melanie Porter. - Porter. 1271 01:07:57,587 --> 01:08:02,126 Here we go. Room 217. I just checked in your neighbor. 1272 01:08:02,228 --> 01:08:03,570 You did? Really? Who is it? 1273 01:08:03,667 --> 01:08:05,522 (SCREAMING) 1274 01:08:05,619 --> 01:08:08,881 I don't believe it! Can you believe it? 1275 01:08:08,979 --> 01:08:12,328 - I'm in Room 218! - I don't believe it. 1276 01:08:13,779 --> 01:08:15,056 My gosh! 1277 01:08:15,156 --> 01:08:19,662 You inspired me to apply here, and now we're gonna be neighbors! 1278 01:08:19,763 --> 01:08:23,025 I have to go get my dad. He's gonna be so excited to see you! 1279 01:08:23,123 --> 01:08:25,327 - Dad? - Surprise! 1280 01:08:27,059 --> 01:08:29,263 James! How are you? 1281 01:08:29,363 --> 01:08:32,658 It's so good to see you. Oh, this is my wife, Sugarplum. 1282 01:08:32,755 --> 01:08:33,999 Hi! 1283 01:08:34,483 --> 01:08:36,523 (BOTH GROWLING) 1284 01:08:36,628 --> 01:08:38,700 This is my sugarplum, Michelle. 1285 01:08:38,804 --> 01:08:41,138 Hello, Michelle. It's so nice to meet you. 1286 01:08:41,236 --> 01:08:43,243 - Hello, Michelle. - Hi. 1287 01:08:43,348 --> 01:08:48,498 So, our daughters are staying in the same dorm? How crazy is that? 1288 01:08:48,595 --> 01:08:50,221 You know what I'm thinking? 1289 01:08:50,324 --> 01:08:52,625 - Booster club karaoke party! - Booster club karaoke party! 1290 01:08:53,747 --> 01:08:55,570 A little more singing. A little more singing! 1291 01:08:55,667 --> 01:08:57,456 Absolutely! 1292 01:08:57,556 --> 01:08:59,083 - Come on, poopsie. - Okay! 1293 01:09:01,236 --> 01:09:02,250 Hey. 1294 01:09:03,187 --> 01:09:04,878 (SINGING) People 1295 01:09:04,980 --> 01:09:06,922 People who need people 1296 01:09:07,027 --> 01:09:07,976 (FLY BUZZING) 1297 01:09:08,083 --> 01:09:09,610 Are the... 1298 01:09:09,715 --> 01:09:11,308 (COUGHING) 1299 01:09:12,083 --> 01:09:13,676 I swallowed a bug. 1300 01:09:15,603 --> 01:09:16,945 Wait for me! 1301 01:09:18,003 --> 01:09:20,338 I can't help it. I like that guy. 1302 01:09:27,252 --> 01:09:28,495 Our baby. 1303 01:09:39,028 --> 01:09:40,304 This is it. 1304 01:09:41,395 --> 01:09:42,922 Come here, baby. 1305 01:10:00,179 --> 01:10:02,732 I never thought this day would come. 1306 01:10:02,836 --> 01:10:05,683 I did. But I'm proud of you. 1307 01:10:08,499 --> 01:10:09,906 Thank you, Daddy. 1308 01:10:14,227 --> 01:10:16,169 I love you. 1309 01:10:16,276 --> 01:10:18,697 I love you, beautiful. 1310 01:10:18,803 --> 01:10:21,454 I'll see you at Thanksgiving, all right? 1311 01:11:04,980 --> 01:11:06,059 (INAUDIBLE) 1312 01:11:13,587 --> 01:11:15,049 (INAUDIBLE) 1313 01:11:16,756 --> 01:11:20,585 (INAUDIBLE) 1314 01:11:33,203 --> 01:11:35,658 It'll be okay. 1315 01:11:35,763 --> 01:11:38,894 - Where does the time go? - Yeah. 1316 01:11:39,763 --> 01:11:42,065 Come on, baby. Let's head home. 1317 01:11:45,491 --> 01:11:47,630 JAMES: Trey? Five minutes, dinner. 1318 01:11:47,731 --> 01:11:49,072 TREY: Coming, Dad. 1319 01:11:50,867 --> 01:11:53,616 I can't believe it's been three months already. 1320 01:11:53,715 --> 01:11:55,952 I just hope she hasn't changed too much. 1321 01:11:56,051 --> 01:11:59,117 Well, how changed could she be? You talk to her every week. 1322 01:11:59,219 --> 01:12:00,332 (GRUNTING) 1323 01:12:01,811 --> 01:12:03,666 Where did Albert get that hat? 1324 01:12:03,763 --> 01:12:08,433 (SINGING) Over the river and through the woods to the Porters' house we go 1325 01:12:08,531 --> 01:12:10,768 I love this guy! Oh, what a gas! 1326 01:12:10,868 --> 01:12:11,980 Come on, James! 1327 01:12:12,083 --> 01:12:14,472 The karaoke's all set up. We're going to sing and dance! 1328 01:12:14,579 --> 01:12:16,008 No, maybe after we eat. 1329 01:12:16,115 --> 01:12:17,642 We don't want to start singing without the girls. 1330 01:12:17,747 --> 01:12:20,267 - Okay, all right. - That was Melanie and Wendy. 1331 01:12:20,371 --> 01:12:23,666 They're two minutes away. I can't wait to meet Tracy. 1332 01:12:23,763 --> 01:12:25,072 - Tracy? - JAMES: Yeah. 1333 01:12:25,171 --> 01:12:26,894 That's a friend of hers from school. 1334 01:12:26,995 --> 01:12:29,864 They're gonna be studying in Japan together next semester. 1335 01:12:29,971 --> 01:12:31,116 Now, James, 1336 01:12:31,219 --> 01:12:33,870 you promised me you're not gonna make a big fuss about Japan. 1337 01:12:33,971 --> 01:12:36,142 No, this is the new James Porter. 1338 01:12:36,243 --> 01:12:40,465 New and improved. There's nothing I can't handle. I'm cool. 1339 01:12:40,563 --> 01:12:41,545 - We're here! - We're here! 1340 01:12:41,651 --> 01:12:43,178 Mel-bear! 1341 01:12:43,283 --> 01:12:44,909 (EXCLAIMING) 1342 01:12:46,388 --> 01:12:47,370 MELANIE: Look at you, you look fabulous! 1343 01:12:47,475 --> 01:12:48,555 JAMES: You look fabulous. 1344 01:12:48,660 --> 01:12:52,554 Thank you. Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet Tracy. 1345 01:12:55,028 --> 01:12:55,955 Uh-oh. 1346 01:13:00,243 --> 01:13:01,355 (GRUNTING) 1347 01:13:02,867 --> 01:13:05,288 Nice to meet you, Mr. Porter. Mrs. Porter. 1348 01:13:05,395 --> 01:13:07,566 (BOTH EXCLAIMING) 1349 01:13:08,468 --> 01:13:09,678 Tracy. 1350 01:13:11,091 --> 01:13:12,715 - You're a guy. - Mmm-hmm. 1351 01:13:12,819 --> 01:13:14,793 Yeah. Yeah, I'm a guy. 1352 01:13:14,899 --> 01:13:17,833 (WHISPERING) Say "nice to meet you." 1353 01:13:17,939 --> 01:13:19,728 Nice to meet... 1354 01:13:21,875 --> 01:13:24,875 - Nice to meet you, Tracy. - There you go. 1355 01:13:24,979 --> 01:13:26,605 Thanks. Thank you, sir. 1356 01:13:26,707 --> 01:13:31,410 James, I am so proud of you. It takes a good dad to accept anything. 1357 01:13:31,507 --> 01:13:35,020 I'm so happy you just said that! Scooter! 1358 01:13:35,123 --> 01:13:39,214 - Ding-dong! - Dad, everyone, this is Scooter! 1359 01:13:39,315 --> 01:13:42,414 And Scooter and I are getting married! 1360 01:13:42,515 --> 01:13:43,693 Dad! 1361 01:13:44,627 --> 01:13:46,732 (SINGING) Getting to know you 1362 01:13:46,835 --> 01:13:48,242 Getting to know all... 1363 01:13:48,339 --> 01:13:49,549 (SCREAMING) 1364 01:13:49,651 --> 01:13:50,698 (SCREAMING) 1365 01:13:52,276 --> 01:13:53,203 (THUDDING) 1366 01:13:56,179 --> 01:13:57,608 (RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED FROM PLAYING) 1367 01:14:00,083 --> 01:14:02,898 Oh, and it's all right and it's coming on 1368 01:14:02,995 --> 01:14:06,606 We got to get right back to where we started from 1369 01:14:06,707 --> 01:14:09,162 Love is good, love can be strong 1370 01:14:09,267 --> 01:14:12,845 We got to get right back to where we started from 1371 01:14:19,187 --> 01:14:21,292 Do you remember that day 1372 01:14:21,395 --> 01:14:22,856 That sunny day 1373 01:14:22,963 --> 01:14:25,898 When you first came my way 1374 01:14:26,003 --> 01:14:29,451 I said no one can take your place 1375 01:14:31,987 --> 01:14:33,514 And if you get hurt 1376 01:14:33,619 --> 01:14:35,026 If you get hurt 1377 01:14:35,123 --> 01:14:38,090 By the little things I say 1378 01:14:38,195 --> 01:14:42,897 I can put that smile back on your face 1379 01:14:43,283 --> 01:14:46,578 Oh, it's all right and it's coming on 1380 01:14:46,675 --> 01:14:50,221 We got to get right back to where we started from 1381 01:14:50,323 --> 01:14:52,909 Love is good, love can be strong 1382 01:14:53,011 --> 01:14:56,524 We got to get right back to where we started from 1383 01:14:56,627 --> 01:14:59,147 Oh, it's all right and it's coming on 1384 01:14:59,251 --> 01:15:02,764 We got to get right back to where we started from 1385 01:15:02,867 --> 01:15:05,234 Love is good, love can be strong 1386 01:15:05,331 --> 01:15:08,528 We got to get right back to where we started from 1387 01:15:08,627 --> 01:15:11,409 Oh, it's all right and it's coming on 1388 01:15:11,507 --> 01:15:12,750 We got to get right... 1389 01:15:14,355 --> 01:15:16,242 (DOUBLE DUTCH BUS PLAYING) 1390 01:15:16,339 --> 01:15:19,754 Give me a "Ho" if you've got your funky bus fare 1391 01:15:19,859 --> 01:15:21,201 Ho 1392 01:15:24,051 --> 01:15:26,156 You know you wanna jump on the double dutch bus 1393 01:15:26,259 --> 01:15:28,081 So take a ride we're waiting in the clutch 1394 01:15:28,179 --> 01:15:32,401 There's a double dutch bus coming down the street 1395 01:15:32,499 --> 01:15:36,077 Moving pretty fast, so kind of shuffle your feet 1396 01:15:36,755 --> 01:15:40,104 Get on the bus and pay your fare 1397 01:15:40,211 --> 01:15:41,640 And tell the driver that you're 1398 01:15:41,747 --> 01:15:43,852 Going to a double dutch affair 1399 01:15:43,955 --> 01:15:44,903 Follow me 1400 01:15:45,011 --> 01:15:46,571 Fe fi fo fum 1401 01:15:46,675 --> 01:15:48,562 Fe fi fo fum 1402 01:15:48,659 --> 01:15:50,514 Well, I'll be darned, here it comes 1403 01:15:50,610 --> 01:15:52,553 Well, I'll be darned, here it comes 1404 01:15:52,659 --> 01:15:54,382 The double dutch bus is on the street 1405 01:15:54,483 --> 01:15:56,206 The double dutch bus is on the street 1406 01:15:56,307 --> 01:15:58,511 You better get on the floor Move your feet 1407 01:15:58,611 --> 01:16:00,498 Get on the floor, move your feet 1408 01:16:00,595 --> 01:16:04,938 Ooh, get on the double dutch bus 1409 01:16:05,555 --> 01:16:06,962 Double dutch bus 1410 01:16:07,059 --> 01:16:08,466 Jump on it, on it 1411 01:16:08,563 --> 01:16:12,873 Ooh, get on the double dutch bus 1412 01:16:13,523 --> 01:16:14,865 The double dutch bus 1413 01:16:14,962 --> 01:16:15,911 Jump on it, on it 1414 01:16:16,019 --> 01:16:19,849 Now I've missed my bus and I know that I'm late 1415 01:16:19,955 --> 01:16:23,817 I gotta do something that I know I'm gonna hate 1416 01:16:23,923 --> 01:16:28,047 I gotta walk to work fifteen blocks 1417 01:16:28,147 --> 01:16:31,660 I just started, I already got a hole in my socks 1418 01:16:31,763 --> 01:16:32,711 Have a look now 1419 01:16:32,819 --> 01:16:34,248 Fe fi fo fum 1420 01:16:34,355 --> 01:16:36,013 Fe fi fo fum 1421 01:16:36,115 --> 01:16:38,122 Well, I'll be darned, here it comes 1422 01:16:38,227 --> 01:16:39,983 Well, I'll be darned, here it comes 1423 01:16:40,083 --> 01:16:42,221 The double dutch bus is on the street 1424 01:16:42,323 --> 01:16:43,916 The double dutch bus is on the street 1425 01:16:44,018 --> 01:16:46,157 You better get on the floor Move your feet 1426 01:16:46,259 --> 01:16:48,495 Get on the floor, move your feet 1427 01:16:48,595 --> 01:16:52,938 Ooh, get on the double dutch bus 1428 01:16:53,043 --> 01:16:54,898 The double dutch bus 1429 01:16:54,995 --> 01:16:56,205 Jump on it, on it 1430 01:16:56,307 --> 01:17:01,041 Ooh, get on the double dutch bus 1431 01:17:01,139 --> 01:17:02,830 The double dutch bus 1432 01:17:02,931 --> 01:17:03,879 Jump on it, on it 1433 01:17:03,987 --> 01:17:05,580 - Say "Ho!" - Ho 1434 01:17:05,683 --> 01:17:07,756 - Say "Ho! Ho!" - Ho! Ho! 1435 01:17:07,859 --> 01:17:09,648 - Say "Uptown!" - Uptown! 1436 01:17:09,747 --> 01:17:12,048 - Say "Downtown" - Downtown 1437 01:17:12,147 --> 01:17:15,017 Wizzo izzay izzle in this double dizuch 1438 01:17:15,123 --> 01:17:17,262 - One time - Dizouble dizuch 1439 01:17:17,362 --> 01:17:18,988 - Two time - Dizouble dizuch 1440 01:17:19,091 --> 01:17:20,073 Sing along now 1441 01:17:20,179 --> 01:17:23,376 Wizzo izzay izzle in this double dizuch 1442 01:17:23,475 --> 01:17:25,712 Dizouble dizuch 1443 01:17:25,811 --> 01:17:27,054 Dizouble dizuch 1444 01:17:27,155 --> 01:17:28,399 Now scream 1445 01:17:28,499 --> 01:17:31,663 Come along and ride it 1446 01:17:31,762 --> 01:17:32,690 Yeah 1447 01:17:34,515 --> 01:17:35,442 Jump on and scream 1448 01:17:35,539 --> 01:17:40,525 Come along and ride it 1449 01:17:40,627 --> 01:17:42,285 The double dutch bus 1450 01:17:42,387 --> 01:17:47,275 And I want you to come along and ride it 1451 01:17:47,378 --> 01:17:48,785 The double dutch bus 1452 01:17:48,883 --> 01:17:50,290 The double dutch bus 1453 01:17:50,387 --> 01:17:55,176 And I want you to come along and ride it 1454 01:17:55,283 --> 01:17:56,657 The double dutch bus 1455 01:17:56,755 --> 01:17:58,348 Double dutch bus 1456 01:17:58,451 --> 01:18:01,040 Jump on it, on it 1457 01:19:33,203 --> 01:19:35,341 (ALBERT GRUNTING)