1
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,965
- Man #1: No answer.
- Man #2: Must be out shopping.
2
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:38,632
- Man #1: God forbid.
- Man #2: Why do you say that?
3
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:42,234
No reason, it's just something men
say when they talk about their wives.
4
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:45,246
One guy says, "She
must be out shopping."
5
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:47,874
The other guy
says, "God forbid."
6
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,373
It's a joke.
7
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:51,908
Man #2: Oh.
8
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:16,537
What do you make
of all this, Bob?
9
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:17,840
What do you mean?
10
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:20,006
How's it feel to be
out on the road?
11
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,474
I can see where
it can be tiring.
12
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,783
Yeah, there's a lot to this job.
13
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:30,052
You'd never know it,
but there's a lot to it.
14
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,667
You seem to have
been at this a long time.
15
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:45,463
To tell you the truth, Bob,
16
00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:48,498
I feel like I've been shaking
somebody's hand, one way or another,
17
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,238
my entire life.
18
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,338
- Well, you're very good at.
- Thank you, Bob.
19
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:57,579
- I mean, judging from what I hear.
- Don't qualify it, Bob.
20
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,493
- Man #1: What time you got?
- Bob: Quarter to 5:00.
21
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,090
Man #1: I wonder
if Larry got in.
22
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,034
Bob: Don't you carry a watch?
23
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:18,129
The world is full
of clocks, Bob.
24
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,037
Clocks and mirrors.
25
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:21,302
It's a damn conspiracy.
26
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,701
Not that it matters
to me anymore.
27
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,909
All my chances have come
and gone a long time ago.
28
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:32,318
- Why do you say that?
- I'm not complaining.
29
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:35,584
Everybody peaks somewhere.
People find their niche.
30
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,420
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
31
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,123
Bob: How old are you?
32
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,723
- If you don't mind me asking?
- I'm 52.
33
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:51,004
Bob: Your secretary said
you look distinguished.
34
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:52,038
She did?
35
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,098
She said your
face had character.
36
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:56,770
I will give her the
benefit of the doubt,
37
00:02:56,810 --> 00:03:00,542
and assume she meant
that in a favorable vein.
38
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:07,385
Bob: Sometimes I wonder what I'll
look like when I get to be your age.
39
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,885
Tear my heart out, Bob.
40
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,756
Oh, no, that's not what I meant.
41
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:16,958
That's okay. I've heard tell of
people living well into their 60s.
42
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,057
I only hope it's true.
43
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:21,227
Bob: All I mean is that I wonder
44
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,737
how a person attains character.
45
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:26,035
Whether it's something
you're born with
46
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:29,066
that kind of reveals
itself over time,
47
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,977
or whether you have to
go through certain things.
48
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,675
I never think about it.
49
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,184
For all I know I could
have a face full of character,
50
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:40,813
and not even know it. You think?
51
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,989
It's a two-edged sword, Bob.
52
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,790
Man #1: How long have
you been with the company?
53
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,387
Six months.
54
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:52,456
- Straight out of school?
- Yeah.
55
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,491
A word of advice:
56
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:57,993
it's never too early to start thinking
about where you want to end up.
57
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:01,372
- Bob: It's a lot to think about.
- Yes, it is.
58
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:05,345
Pretty soon somebody's gonna be
handing you a cake with 40 candles on it.
59
00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:07,279
Or maybe 50.
60
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:09,306
A bunch of people are
gonna jump out of a closet,
61
00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:11,250
and yell, "Surprise,"
62
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:15,346
like it's something you haven't been
thinking about every waking moment.
63
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,696
What's that you're reading?
64
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:29,601
- "Penthouse."
- Oh.
65
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:32,731
- Wanna borrow it when I'm done?
- No, thanks.
66
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,766
- You don't want it?
- I don't read magazines like that.
67
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,334
Oh.
68
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:39,778
Are you one of those that
believe that magazines like this
69
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,372
shouldn't be published?
70
00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:43,974
I'm one of those who believe
they shouldn't be purchased.
71
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:48,114
That was a very
clever answer, Bob.
72
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,056
Bob: I just said what I thought.
73
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:53,102
Man #1: That's what I mean,
you did it without thinking.
74
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,528
Which leads me to believe you
could have a career in marketing.
75
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:09,472
Bob: What's your wife say about
you reading magazines like that?
76
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:16,006
It's not my wife's concern.
77
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,416
It's not?
78
00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:20,682
No.
79
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,554
We're divorced.
80
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:26,185
Mind if I ask you
what the problem was?
81
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:31,124
Maybe you'd better
try your wife again.
82
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,531
Sure.
83
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:37,299
I have a hard time imagining
what it must be like to get a divorce.
84
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,897
The picture becomes
perfectly clear
85
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,273
after a very short
period of time.
86
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,770
Believe me, Bob.
87
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:57,147
- How you doin'?
- Pretty good, how about yourself?
88
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,056
Can't complain. What floor?
89
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,254
It depends on where you're
headed with all this food.
90
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,660
15.
91
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,961
- Hospitality suite.
- Yeah.
92
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,763
Me too, on 16.
93
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,066
Oh. Yeah.
94
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:30,313
- This is it?
- Hi, Larry.
95
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:33,350
This is fucking it?
96
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,557
What do you mean, "This is fucking it?"
Of course it's it. What did you expect?
97
00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:38,997
Phil, buddy, the
operative word was suite.
98
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:42,434
Hospitality suite.
Not hospitality closet!
99
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:46,338
- There's no room in here.
- It's the best I could do.
100
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,774
Where do you expect people
to stand? Out in the hall?
101
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:51,710
What're you bitching about?
Look, it's on the 16th floor.
102
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,441
Look at the view.
103
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,480
Phil.
104
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,506
Man, we're in Wichita, Kansas.
105
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:59,519
What does it matter whether we're
on the 1st floor or the 500th floor?
106
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,418
It all looks the same.
107
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:03,446
Next time you make
the arrangements.
108
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,482
Murdock would've had a
room four times this size.
109
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:09,656
- Oh yeah? Murdock's not here, is he.
- You can say that again.
110
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:12,564
At least we have something to
jump off of when nobody shows.
111
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,192
Fuck you, Larry.
112
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,226
That's what I get for
having aesthetic values.
113
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,829
Foul language thrown in my face.
114
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,773
You know Bob, from research?
115
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:23,276
Sure, I know Bob. How
ya doing there, Bob?
116
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,541
He's on the phone to his wife.
117
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:27,570
I only hope his wife
does most of the talking.
118
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:31,483
We've got to conserve
what little oxygen we have.
119
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,154
What is this?
120
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,489
- What does it look like?
- You tell me.
121
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:40,892
It's hors d'oeuvres.
122
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:43,362
You call these hors d'oeuvres?
123
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:45,422
Don't start with
me, all right, Larry?
124
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,230
Phil, buddy, these
are not hors d'oeuvres.
125
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:51,102
I don't know what that is.
Carrot sticks, celery sticks,
126
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:54,904
cup full of ranch dressing,
and an overgrown cheese ball.
127
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:57,604
This whole thing was spur
of the moment, you know it.
128
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,655
Do you know what the tool and
die outfit is serving downstairs?
129
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:01,341
I don't know, and I
don't want to know.
130
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:04,783
Shrimp, my friend.
Jumbo shrimp on ice.
131
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:08,118
Oysters on a half shell, all these
weird kind of French cheeses,
132
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,953
these little puff pastries...
That's hors d'oeuvres.
133
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,983
Phil, my friend of
many years, not this.
134
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,137
Downstairs they wouldn't let
a celery stick near the place,
135
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:18,131
- they'd make you check it at the door.
- Then go eat downstairs tonight.
136
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:22,363
I just might have to. Jesus
Christ, Bob, do you believe this?
137
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,773
- Looks okay to me.
- That's exactly my point,
138
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,436
you don't know anything.
139
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:33,140
No offense, but how many of
these things have you been to?
140
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,114
- Just one.
- This one, right?
141
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,276
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
142
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,377
Okay, who knows, Phil,
maybe we'll get lucky,
143
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:42,548
and everyone that walks through
the door will be a first-timer like Bob.
144
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,783
Is there a problem?
145
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,557
No, there's no problem.
146
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,791
Catching up on your
technical reading there, Phil?
147
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,803
Mind your own business, Larry.
148
00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:58,828
I'm not condemning,
I'm just saying I noticed.
149
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,083
You should have seen the girl
that sat next to me on the plane.
150
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:03,099
- Pretty?
- I should say so.
151
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:07,638
And built, and
wearing a business suit.
152
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,081
That's right, you like
'em in business suits.
153
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,628
There's something about a woman
in a business suit that drives me wild,
154
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:14,663
I don't know what it is.
It's as if they're all tied up
155
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:16,383
in this neat little package,
156
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:18,756
waiting for someone to
come along, and pull the cord
157
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,784
that sets everything free.
158
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,854
A woman in a business
suit is my idea of art.
159
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:28,301
What about you, Bob? What kind of
woman's attire gets your motor running?
160
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:30,132
I'm sure I couldn't tell you.
161
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,537
No favorites, huh?
162
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,564
I try not to think about it.
163
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:39,041
Larry: You try not?
164
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,638
Bob: I'm married.
165
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,691
Of course you're married,
we're all married, even Phil here
166
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:46,117
was married at one time. I'm just
asking which direction your tastes run.
167
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,747
I don't know.
168
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:54,053
Let me ask you a question
there, Bob. Seriously.
169
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,586
- What's that?
- Are you gay?
170
00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:58,621
- Larry.
- What? I'm just asking.
171
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:00,843
He seems to be missing one of
the fundamental characteristics
172
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:03,564
of the American male, which
I could understand if he were.
173
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,004
But you're not, I mean,
at least you think you're...
174
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,769
Aren't you married?
175
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:10,174
I see no reason to let
my eyes go wandering
176
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:14,045
when God's given me a
wonderful woman to be my wife.
177
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,811
Oh, I see, you're
a spiritual man.
178
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,478
That's part of it.
179
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:21,545
So do they blind you when
you get saved, do they?
180
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,580
Jesus said that if you
look at a woman with lust,
181
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,421
it's the same as
committing adultery.
182
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,518
He did?
183
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,825
He must've never seen a
woman in a business suit.
184
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:32,856
If he had, who knows, we might
have a whole different kind of religion.
185
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:36,097
One where lusting
is a sacrament.
186
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:39,803
Hey!
187
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:42,035
I thought you weren't
interested in my hors d'oeuvres.
188
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,704
I'm just tasting, Phil.
I'm not actually partaking.
189
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:48,272
I'm just gonna make sure
that nobody's gonna gag.
190
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,476
Don't eat the whole thing up.
191
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,850
You know why you're
here, don't you, Bob?
192
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,821
No. Not exactly.
193
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:58,791
Jesus Christ. No wonder this
company is spiraling into the shit can.
194
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:02,262
You're here for
cosmetic purposes, Bob.
195
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:03,627
What do you mean?
196
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:07,065
You're here to represent
Research Technical Support.
197
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,865
The brains of the company.
198
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,270
- Me?
- Absolutely.
199
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,240
But I don't have that
much experience.
200
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,485
That doesn't matter. You as
a person don't really matter.
201
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,977
It's what you represent.
202
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,705
Am I supposed to
be doing anything?
203
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,739
Nope. Just stand there
and look wise. Or sit.
204
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:24,512
It's entirely up to you.
205
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,918
You'll do fine, Bob.
206
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,122
Jeez, I hope so.
207
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:33,649
When you think
about it, to tell the truth,
208
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,161
nobody's really here.
209
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:38,654
You think you see people walking
around those hallways? You don't.
210
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,826
What you see is functions.
211
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,496
That's the nature
of a convention.
212
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,397
What Larry means is,
213
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:51,377
if you look at it in the
standpoint of why we're here,
214
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,903
what we are is more
important than who we are.
215
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:58,752
- That seems kind of impersonal.
- Of course it's impersonal, Bob.
216
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:01,277
Why do you think they hold
conventions in places like this?
217
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:05,656
Is there anything about this place
that smacks of personality to you?
218
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:11,023
- Still it seems a shame.
- It's not a shame, Bob.
219
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:27,344
Who do they have you
working for these days, Bob?
220
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,848
Professor Young.
221
00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:30,281
Jim Young?
222
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,978
Yeah, you know him?
223
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,953
We've met.
224
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,149
- Tremendous guy.
- Oh really?
225
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,055
How so?
226
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:42,051
He's got what, 20, 30 patents?
227
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,462
I think he's even a
deacon in his church.
228
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,728
And all that makes
him tremendous?
229
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,235
Well, the patents alone.
230
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:53,263
Listen, Bob, no offense, I can
see that you admire the man,
231
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,384
but let me tell you a little
something about Jim Young.
232
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:56,899
What's that?
233
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,139
- He's an idiot.
- What?
234
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:02,740
He's a moron. I wouldn't
trust the guy to wax my car.
235
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,944
- How can you say that?
- I've met him, remember?
236
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:07,096
I've gotten an earful of Jim
Young on more than one occasion.
237
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,215
I can tell you for a fact
the guy is full of shit.
238
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:13,624
I don't think so. I work
with him every day.
239
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,686
Maybe you just don't
know what to look for.
240
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,993
Maybe I just have
different standards.
241
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:30,037
Hey, listen Bob, you got a
minute? I want to tell you something.
242
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:31,374
Sure.
243
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,880
There are people
in this world, Bob,
244
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:37,315
who look very official while
they're doing what they're doing.
245
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:40,047
- And do you know why?
- Why?
246
00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:42,112
Because they don't
know what they're doing.
247
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,166
Because if you know what you're
doing, you don't have to look like
248
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,201
you know what you're doing. It
comes naturally. You follow me?
249
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:47,921
Sure.
250
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,690
Okay, so now,
251
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:52,198
do you know how you
can tell the difference?
252
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:53,494
No.
253
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,764
The way you tell is,
254
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:58,966
a little voice pops up in
the back of your mind to say,
255
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:02,533
this guy sitting
before me, or she,
256
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:06,239
is lying through his teeth
and telling me stories.
257
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:09,078
Once you get that little
piece of information,
258
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:12,313
what do you do?
259
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,684
I don't know.
260
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,019
Here's what I would do.
261
00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:18,400
I would say, "Buddy,
262
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,360
I've heard a lot of horseshit in my
time, 'cause God knows I'm a salesman,
263
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:25,456
and we all have to wade through our
share of the snow to get to the cabin,
264
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:29,435
but you... take the cake.
265
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:33,133
I don't believe you have the
first idea what you're taking about.
266
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:37,007
Your children admire you,
I'm sure as we all hope they do,
267
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,774
and maybe your
wife doesn't know,
268
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,474
but I know.
269
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:44,541
And my knowledge forces
me to call you on the fact
270
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:47,144
that you are a goddamn
cocksucking liar
271
00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:49,746
from the word go."
272
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:53,418
And then I would sit
down and finish my soup.
273
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,491
You would not.
274
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:04,197
Phil, have you or have you
not ever heard or seen me
275
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,934
doing what we were
just talking about?
276
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:09,033
- Yes.
- There, you see?
277
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:12,842
That's why there's hope, Bob,
because there's people like me who listen.
278
00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:16,281
- When was this?
- What do you mean when?
279
00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:18,147
Are you doubting a
man that sits there
280
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:21,086
reading "Penthouse" to expand his
mind? Are you gonna question that?
281
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:26,087
It was a couple of years ago, we were
having lunch with a purchasing agent.
282
00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:29,422
- You see?
- And you actually said that?
283
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,021
Word for word.
284
00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:34,158
It was not word for word.
285
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,226
In principle, Phil.
286
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,795
I'm speaking to the boy in
principle, because after all,
287
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:43,139
he's a bright young man, and he
understands the meaning of a concept.
288
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:45,270
So what happened?
289
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:50,215
What do you think happened? What
would you expect to have happened?
290
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:53,242
- The guy got angry.
- The guy got furious.
291
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,517
He just sat there through
the rest of the meal
292
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,956
just fuming, not saying a word.
293
00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,720
Did you lose the account?
294
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:04,494
Of course we lost the account.
295
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:07,694
You can't speak to a man like
that, and expect to keep the account.
296
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:09,361
And if you do...
297
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:14,739
If you say that to a man,
and he puts down his fork,
298
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:17,710
and he says, "Bob,
299
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:20,508
you are absolutely right.
300
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:23,380
I have been faking like I
know what I'm talking about
301
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:26,716
from the moment I
sat down, and I'm sorry.
302
00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:30,746
Not to you, because I don't
owe you anything, but to myself.
303
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:34,454
Because I wanna be the best
human being I can possibly be.
304
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:38,693
And I wanna be
honest above all else."
305
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,291
You forget about the account,
Bob. You forget about everything.
306
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,565
You shave your head,
you put on a saffron robe,
307
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,765
you sell pictures of
this guy at the airport,
308
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,831
because he has no fear,
309
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:49,536
and he's just proved it.
310
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:52,170
He deserves to be worshipped.
311
00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:00,882
Wow.
312
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,684
Wow is right, Bob.
313
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,691
Wow sums it up quite nicely.
314
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,058
I can't believe you
actually said that.
315
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,529
- Do yourself a favor, Bob.
- What's that?
316
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:13,158
- Don't ever become one of those people.
- No, I wouldn't, at...
317
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,711
I don't want to confront you at
lunch one day like I did that other guy,
318
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,466
but I will, for your own good,
319
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:20,200
because I like you.
320
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,141
Sure.
321
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,305
- You all right, Bob?
- Yeah, I need to use the restroom.
322
00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:31,293
You want me to fix you something
while you're on the throne?
323
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:33,218
No, thanks, I just need to go.
324
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:48,167
- Phil: Who wound you up?
- Larry: Nobody wound me up.
325
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:53,070
I'm just excited, that's all. We're
gonna do some business tonight.
326
00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:56,872
There's business in
the air, do you smell it?
327
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,140
It's the kind of air that
makes account ledgers grow.
328
00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:02,148
There's only one account
ledger that matters to us tonight.
329
00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:04,912
Were gonna get that
one too, you watch.
330
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:07,386
Fuller's gonna come
walking through that door,
331
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:12,358
he's gonna take one look
around, he will be so overwhelmed
332
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:15,293
with the fact that
he's on the 16th floor,
333
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:19,595
overlooking all of Wichita,
like some ancient king,
334
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,794
surveying his
fiefdom. Larry predicts,
335
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:24,861
that he will say, "You
talk to me about moxie?
336
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:28,102
Anybody with the
aesthetic wherewithal
337
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:31,133
to pick this of all places
for a hospitality suite
338
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:33,703
must certainly have the right
line of industrial lubricants
339
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,374
for my plant in Gary.
340
00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:39,818
What would it take to get you guys
to sell me everything you could make?
341
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:44,483
How much can I pay you
personally, as a bribe?"
342
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:48,090
He's gonna say all that, is he?
343
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,892
Word for word. And you know
what I'm gonna say to him?
344
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,422
I'm gonna say, "Mr. Fuller,
you are absolutely right.
345
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:57,494
We do have the right line of
industrial lubricants for your application.
346
00:18:57,536 --> 00:19:00,734
And I'd personally be proud
to handle the account myself,
347
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:02,742
but there is one
thing I ask of you,
348
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:06,735
as a favor, to help us
get better acquainted."
349
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:09,806
- What's that?
- "That you take me as your concubine.
350
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:13,149
Or Phil, if you think
he's better looking."
351
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:15,780
- You really think he's gonna go for us?
- He has to, Phil.
352
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,620
- What if he doesn't?
- If he doesn't go for us?
353
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,602
Then I think what we do is
we get up tomorrow morning,
354
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:23,562
we pack our bags, we catch
the breakfast flight home,
355
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,498
we wander into the office
around half past 2:00,
356
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:29,696
and then we hang ourselves
in the bathroom by our ties.
357
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,199
- Do you even know what he looks like?
- No, you?
358
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:36,266
- I haven't the foggiest idea.
- What about Bob?
359
00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:38,504
Bob? How's Bob gonna
know what he looks like?
360
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:41,556
Oh yeah. It doesn't matter. That's one
of the great things about conventions,
361
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:44,641
all God's chillun wear name
tags, especially a guy like this.
362
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,728
He probably had one specially
made in neon, you know,
363
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:49,483
Dick Fuller, President.
364
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,616
Nickname: El Kahuna Grande.
365
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:54,855
I'm only hoping he's
wearing a ring I can kiss.
366
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:01,298
Phil, what is that?
367
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,427
- It's a coat rack.
- I know it's a coat rack.
368
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:05,870
- What's it doing in here?
- It's for coats.
369
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:08,841
Who the hell is gonna bring a coat?
We're all in the same damn hotel.
370
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,053
Let's get it out of here. There's
little enough room in here as it is.
371
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:13,444
I just wanted to be prepared.
372
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,471
If I don't have a coat
rack, you're gonna say,
373
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:17,949
"Phil, where's the coat rack?"
374
00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:20,680
Well now we know where
it is, it's out in the hall.
375
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:27,018
- Is he all right in there?
- I don't think he's feeling very well.
376
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,857
Really? How come?
377
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:31,793
Maybe it's nerves.
378
00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:35,592
Maybe he couldn't
take the likes of you.
379
00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:39,264
Especially when you come at
him with both barrels like that.
380
00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:42,241
What, me? Nah, I
was just talking to him.
381
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:44,266
- He's a good kid.
- Of course he's a good kid.
382
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,302
I wouldn't waste my
time with him if he wasn't.
383
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:49,042
That's the last thing I need to
do is grease another asshole
384
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,777
for the lubricant industry.
385
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:59,016
Besides, he reminds
me of you in a lot of ways.
386
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:01,027
No he doesn't, he
reminds you of yourself.
387
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,427
Yeah, but I take after
you so it all works out.
388
00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:06,523
I don't want any of these
bozos making long distance calls.
389
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,591
Well, take it off the bill.
390
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:16,403
Or who knows, maybe he's
just basking in the experience.
391
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:19,139
- Going to the bathroom?
- Yeah, have you been in there yet?
392
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:21,238
- No, why?
- Oh, it's terrific, man.
393
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,613
It's the only thing I
like about this place.
394
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:25,311
They got a spotlight
over the john.
395
00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:27,847
That, and there's
mirrors on three sides,
396
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:32,120
so you can actually watch
yourself wiping your own ass.
397
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:34,669
- Is that a major goal of yours?
- I think it's something everybody
398
00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:37,094
should experience at
least once in their lifetime.
399
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,963
Do you realize what the ancient
kings of Egypt would have given
400
00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:43,436
if they'd been able to watch themselves
wiping their own asses? Plenty.
401
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:46,166
But they couldn't because
the technology was unavailable.
402
00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:49,107
- They had mirrors.
- Oh, hand mirrors, Phil.
403
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,871
Little bitty jobs.
404
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:54,074
You try watching yourself wiping
your own ass with a hand mirror.
405
00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:56,105
You can't... you might...
You can't see anything.
406
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,140
You might as well be
watching somebody else.
407
00:21:58,184 --> 00:22:01,450
No, no, no, to do it right,
you need the full-fledged
408
00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:05,185
wall-to-wall mirrors. Then
you get the total picture.
409
00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:07,469
Reminds you you're not that
much different than anybody else,
410
00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:09,962
when it comes down to it.
Gives you a sense of humility.
411
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:11,987
Whatever you say.
412
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:17,267
The door is jammed.
413
00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:19,932
- I put a call in.
- Oh, Christ.
414
00:22:22,374 --> 00:22:24,104
You feeling any better, Bob?
415
00:22:30,749 --> 00:22:33,685
Yeah, just a
little queasy is all.
416
00:22:33,719 --> 00:22:35,864
What, did Phil have you
working on the floor all day today?
417
00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:38,289
Some of it.
418
00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:41,783
- Working the booth?
- Yeah.
419
00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:43,872
No wonder. You should have
told him to go fuck himself.
420
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:45,888
I hate working the booth.
421
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:50,460
- I thought it was kind of interesting.
- There's no closet in here.
422
00:22:50,502 --> 00:22:52,835
That's why I got the coat rack.
423
00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:56,400
Anything's interesting
for awhile, Bob.
424
00:22:56,442 --> 00:22:58,377
Dental surgery is
interesting for awhile,
425
00:22:58,410 --> 00:23:01,312
but some things
get old in a hurry.
426
00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:06,348
- It's something that has to be done.
- Ah, ah.
427
00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:11,055
There you are, Bob. Words
handed down from on high,
428
00:23:11,090 --> 00:23:13,616
"It's something
that has to be done."
429
00:23:15,094 --> 00:23:17,290
Larry, let me bum
a cigarette off ya.
430
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:21,266
You could ordinarily, Phil,
but not anymore, I gave it up.
431
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,531
- You did not.
- I swear to God.
432
00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:25,003
- When?
- A couple of months ago.
433
00:23:25,037 --> 00:23:27,370
You would too, if you
knew what was good for you.
434
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:29,739
Fuck you, Larry.
You're not my wife.
435
00:23:30,776 --> 00:23:33,803
You're right, Phil,
I'm not your wife.
436
00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:36,873
And it's good of you to point that
out, because as close as we are,
437
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:39,112
I sometimes forget.
438
00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:41,677
Bob's got more sense than
the two of us put together.
439
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,732
You never smoked a cigarette
in your life, have you, Bob?
440
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:44,951
No, I haven't.
441
00:23:44,990 --> 00:23:47,755
And I bet you don't drink
much either, do you?
442
00:23:47,793 --> 00:23:50,228
- An occasional beer now and then.
- But nothing hard, right?
443
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,262
No.
444
00:23:51,297 --> 00:23:53,308
And correct me if I'm
wrong, but I'm willing to bet...
445
00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:56,632
I'd even lay money,
that never in your life
446
00:23:56,669 --> 00:23:58,638
have you walked
into a strip joint,
447
00:23:58,671 --> 00:24:00,649
walked up on the stage, grabbed
the dancer, threw her on the ground,
448
00:24:00,673 --> 00:24:04,132
and fucked her brains out
right there in front of everybody.
449
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:07,635
- I never what?
- Jesus Christ, Larry.
450
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,616
Just answer the
question, yes or no.
451
00:24:10,649 --> 00:24:14,211
No I... I've never even
been near a place like that.
452
00:24:14,253 --> 00:24:16,464
See? That's what I'm saying.
You ought to apply for sainthood.
453
00:24:16,488 --> 00:24:18,233
Competition is not
as stiff as it used to be.
454
00:24:18,257 --> 00:24:19,935
I think you got a good
chance at getting in.
455
00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:21,257
- You Catholic?
- No.
456
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,784
- Episcopalian?
- No.
457
00:24:22,828 --> 00:24:25,229
- Well, what then?
- Baptist.
458
00:24:26,365 --> 00:24:29,631
That is a problem. But they must
have something like that, shouldn't they?
459
00:24:29,668 --> 00:24:32,308
For people who go through their
whole lives without doing anything.
460
00:24:32,338 --> 00:24:34,500
- Not as far as I know.
- Well, damn it,
461
00:24:34,540 --> 00:24:37,118
then it's time to change religions.
Go someplace you're appreciated,
462
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:39,873
where there's a chance to move
up. You let me know if it happens.
463
00:24:39,912 --> 00:24:41,608
You'll be the first.
464
00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:43,658
Remember, it was my idea, I
get dibs on the concessions.
465
00:24:43,682 --> 00:24:45,674
Little plastic statues,
things like that.
466
00:24:45,718 --> 00:24:48,029
- Where are you going?
- I'm gonna just run down to the bar
467
00:24:48,053 --> 00:24:50,648
for a few minutes.
I'll be right back.
468
00:24:50,689 --> 00:24:53,090
I'll go with you.
469
00:24:53,125 --> 00:24:55,594
No, no, you better stay here.
470
00:24:55,627 --> 00:24:57,619
Have to have somebody
keep their eye on Larry,
471
00:24:57,663 --> 00:24:59,689
make sure he
doesn't sublet the joint.
472
00:24:59,732 --> 00:25:01,826
When you're down there,
why don't you stop on 15?
473
00:25:01,867 --> 00:25:04,145
And see what it's like with people
who know what they're doing.
474
00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:06,502
That is if you can
live with the shame.
475
00:25:07,873 --> 00:25:10,274
And bring me back some shrimp.
476
00:25:12,578 --> 00:25:14,843
What a nut.
477
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,348
Him or you?
478
00:25:16,382 --> 00:25:18,977
Him. Guy cracks me up.
479
00:25:19,018 --> 00:25:21,681
He's not the one I'd exactly
call a nut around here.
480
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,552
That's just because
you don't know him.
481
00:25:23,589 --> 00:25:24,989
You want a carrot stick?
482
00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:27,152
How long have you
and he worked together?
483
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:29,204
That depends on what you
mean. Do you want a carrot stick?
484
00:25:29,228 --> 00:25:31,163
No, thanks.
485
00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:34,189
In geologic time, we just met.
486
00:25:34,233 --> 00:25:37,169
However, in dog
years, we go way back.
487
00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:39,671
How about human years?
488
00:25:42,641 --> 00:25:44,633
- Human years?
- Yeah.
489
00:25:46,078 --> 00:25:48,479
We've known each other
awhile. Why do you ask?
490
00:25:48,514 --> 00:25:50,881
He strikes me as
an interesting guy.
491
00:25:50,916 --> 00:25:52,817
Oh, that's one hell of a guy.
492
00:25:52,851 --> 00:25:55,514
Bob, if you're looking for
somebody to admire, pick Phil.
493
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:57,716
Not that asshole Jim Young.
494
00:25:57,756 --> 00:26:00,248
How long has he been divorced?
495
00:26:02,494 --> 00:26:04,839
I don't think he is, officially.
I think it's still pending,
496
00:26:04,863 --> 00:26:07,355
but don't quote me,
because I don't really know.
497
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:10,369
I think it's a shame
he has to get divorced.
498
00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:13,531
He doesn't have to.
499
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:16,007
He's making a choice
to gain something.
500
00:26:16,041 --> 00:26:17,373
Like what?
501
00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:19,708
His freedom, I guess.
502
00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:22,340
Still, it seems like
an awful lot to give up.
503
00:26:22,381 --> 00:26:26,284
Sometimes you gotta chew
your leg off to get out of life's traps.
504
00:26:27,352 --> 00:26:29,082
I guess.
505
00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,542
Phil's gone through a lot of
changes in the last couple of years,
506
00:26:40,566 --> 00:26:42,501
and I don't just
mean the divorce.
507
00:26:42,534 --> 00:26:43,534
Really?
508
00:26:43,569 --> 00:26:44,662
How so?
509
00:26:44,703 --> 00:26:48,140
He used to be a...
510
00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:50,438
I don't know.
511
00:26:50,476 --> 00:26:53,241
One day he'd be riding the clouds,
the world was a beautiful place,
512
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:56,407
and he was just
happy to be in it,
513
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,007
and the next day,
514
00:26:58,050 --> 00:27:00,061
you wouldn't even know you
were talking to the same person.
515
00:27:00,085 --> 00:27:02,281
It was like somebody
let the air out of him.
516
00:27:03,322 --> 00:27:05,314
You got the impression
that at any moment
517
00:27:05,357 --> 00:27:07,258
he could pull out a
gun and shoot himself.
518
00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:09,727
And even then he
was real personable.
519
00:27:09,761 --> 00:27:11,923
He just...
520
00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:16,334
I don't know, I got the feeling that
something inside of him had collapsed.
521
00:27:16,368 --> 00:27:19,702
- Bartender: What can I get you?
- Change for the cigarette machine.
522
00:27:24,443 --> 00:27:27,208
Crown Royal, on the house.
I poured one too many.
523
00:27:27,246 --> 00:27:29,477
No thanks.
524
00:27:29,515 --> 00:27:31,211
It's all right, really.
525
00:27:31,250 --> 00:27:34,414
No, no, thank you,
just the change, thanks.
526
00:27:44,062 --> 00:27:46,224
Bob: Things you don't
know about a person.
527
00:27:46,265 --> 00:27:49,167
Larry: That's why God gave
us eyes and ears, to find out.
528
00:27:49,201 --> 00:27:52,228
Except for some things that are
none of our goddamn business.
529
00:27:54,573 --> 00:27:55,905
Sure.
530
00:27:56,308 --> 00:27:58,868
Ask me whatever you want
about Phil, I'll be glad to tell you,
531
00:27:58,911 --> 00:28:01,403
if I think you're being sincere.
532
00:28:01,446 --> 00:28:03,472
But don't ask him.
533
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:06,451
He's been through a lot. He
doesn't need to be pressed.
534
00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:20,463
How long have you
been married, Bob?
535
00:28:20,499 --> 00:28:22,195
Six months.
536
00:28:22,234 --> 00:28:23,827
Do you love your wife?
537
00:28:23,869 --> 00:28:26,532
Do I love my wife?
538
00:28:26,572 --> 00:28:27,665
Why wouldn't I?
539
00:28:29,174 --> 00:28:31,905
People get married for
a lot of different reasons.
540
00:28:31,944 --> 00:28:34,504
You seem like a real
principled guy to me.
541
00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:36,276
So?
542
00:28:37,883 --> 00:28:40,318
I've known people, I'm not
saying you're one of them,
543
00:28:40,352 --> 00:28:43,186
it's just I've known them,
who are real principled,
544
00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:47,125
and then they met somebody
else who was real principled,
545
00:28:47,159 --> 00:28:49,924
and then the two
of them got married.
546
00:28:49,962 --> 00:28:53,399
Only to find out one day it was
their principles that got married.
547
00:28:53,432 --> 00:28:56,664
The two of them just kind
of came along for the ride.
548
00:28:57,936 --> 00:28:59,962
Oh.
549
00:29:00,005 --> 00:29:03,669
Love has a lot of counterfeits,
Bob. Not to get too deep.
550
00:29:03,709 --> 00:29:05,507
Sure.
551
00:29:10,449 --> 00:29:13,578
Hey, speak of the devil.
Where's my shrimp?
552
00:29:15,787 --> 00:29:18,256
Eat a carrot if you're
so goddamn hungry.
553
00:29:18,290 --> 00:29:20,521
Have a cheese ball.
554
00:29:20,559 --> 00:29:23,495
I don't want any cheese ball,
all right? I want some shrimp.
555
00:29:23,528 --> 00:29:26,362
Then call down to room
service and get some.
556
00:29:26,398 --> 00:29:29,197
I would, but I don't want to
embarrass you in front of the boy.
557
00:29:29,234 --> 00:29:31,294
Believe me, Larry, as
long as I've known you,
558
00:29:31,336 --> 00:29:35,706
nothing you could possibly say or do
could ever embarrass me in the least.
559
00:29:35,741 --> 00:29:38,939
You see what I have to put up with?
12 years now, but one day no more.
560
00:29:38,977 --> 00:29:40,536
I'm coming to work with an Uzi!
561
00:29:40,579 --> 00:29:43,071
You're gonna read about us
in the newspapers the next day.
562
00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:45,414
You sure I can't fix you
something there, Bob?
563
00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:47,942
Yeah, maybe just a cola.
564
00:29:48,987 --> 00:29:50,683
Give me an ashtray.
565
00:29:50,722 --> 00:29:52,734
How about you, Phil? What'll
you have, a black Russian?
566
00:29:52,758 --> 00:29:54,659
Martini with a twist?
567
00:29:55,927 --> 00:29:57,862
Have a 7-Up.
568
00:29:57,896 --> 00:29:59,387
A 7-Up?
569
00:29:59,431 --> 00:30:01,696
7-Up with a twist of lime.
570
00:30:01,733 --> 00:30:04,168
You feeling all
right there, Phil?
571
00:30:04,202 --> 00:30:05,534
I quit drinking.
572
00:30:05,570 --> 00:30:07,436
You did? When?
573
00:30:07,472 --> 00:30:09,873
Recently.
574
00:30:09,908 --> 00:30:12,173
I'll be a son of a bitch.
575
00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:14,441
I don't smoke, you don't drink,
576
00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:16,324
and Bob here wouldn't think
about lusting after a woman.
577
00:30:16,348 --> 00:30:19,876
Between the three of
us, we're practically Jesus.
578
00:30:21,353 --> 00:30:23,948
Which reminds me, who's
gonna bartend tonight?
579
00:30:23,989 --> 00:30:26,220
- I figure Bob would.
- Me?
580
00:30:26,258 --> 00:30:27,453
Yeah. You mind?
581
00:30:27,492 --> 00:30:31,054
Like I said, I'm not accustomed
to drinking hard liquor.
582
00:30:31,096 --> 00:30:34,191
Nobody's asking you to drink it,
Bob. Were asking you to serve it.
583
00:30:34,232 --> 00:30:36,360
- I won't know what I'm doing.
- It doesn't matter.
584
00:30:36,401 --> 00:30:38,495
All you do is pour stuff
in a glass like this, see?
585
00:30:38,537 --> 00:30:42,338
- Now you know bartending.
- What about the formulas?
586
00:30:43,875 --> 00:30:46,435
Formulas. They're
called recipes.
587
00:30:46,478 --> 00:30:48,913
And we'll send down
for a book. It's all...
588
00:30:48,947 --> 00:30:51,439
What if somebody
wants something exotic?
589
00:30:51,483 --> 00:30:52,542
Oh, that's perfect.
590
00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:54,576
The only reason people
order exotic drinks
591
00:30:54,619 --> 00:30:57,432
is to show how sophisticated they are.
If they have to tell you how to mix it,
592
00:30:57,456 --> 00:30:59,367
it's all the better. It makes
them feel like experts.
593
00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:02,156
Plus, Larry and I are
gonna have our hands full.
594
00:31:03,061 --> 00:31:05,640
- The brains of the company will try.
- That's all we ask for, Bob,
595
00:31:05,664 --> 00:31:07,895
is that you try.
596
00:31:07,933 --> 00:31:10,493
Gentlemen, here's to the
profound religious experience
597
00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:14,666
that comes from doing a job
well, and being grossly underpaid.
598
00:31:14,706 --> 00:31:16,402
Happy days.
599
00:31:16,441 --> 00:31:19,809
- Happy Jesus.
- Happy... amen!
600
00:31:23,949 --> 00:31:25,760
What time is this thing
supposed to start tonight?
601
00:31:25,784 --> 00:31:26,979
7:00.
602
00:31:27,018 --> 00:31:29,078
You hungry?
603
00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:32,148
- I could probably eat, I guess.
- What do you feel like?
604
00:31:32,190 --> 00:31:34,523
Maybe we ought
to go on downstairs.
605
00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:36,571
Yeah, that's what we'll do.
That's exactly what we'll do,
606
00:31:36,595 --> 00:31:38,806
we'll go downstairs, we'll fill
our bellies full of hotel food,
607
00:31:38,830 --> 00:31:42,028
we'll ogle the
waitresses a little... or not.
608
00:31:42,067 --> 00:31:46,266
And then we'll come back up
here, and we'll show Bob the ropes.
609
00:31:46,304 --> 00:31:49,604
We'll teach him what
it's like to do business.
610
00:31:50,675 --> 00:31:52,200
I'm looking forward to it.
611
00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:54,236
You think you're ready
for the big time, Bob?
612
00:31:54,279 --> 00:31:56,305
I guess there's only
one way to find out.
613
00:31:56,348 --> 00:31:59,011
That's to throw me in the
water, see if I can swim.
614
00:31:59,050 --> 00:32:00,951
I think you're kind of
missing the point here.
615
00:32:00,986 --> 00:32:05,014
We're about to throw you off
a cliff, and see if you can fly.
616
00:32:05,056 --> 00:32:07,368
- Phil: You got a tag on your pants.
- Larry: Well, I just bought it.
617
00:32:07,392 --> 00:32:09,384
Phil: Take the little
strings off, why don't you?
618
00:32:09,428 --> 00:32:11,988
Larry: Well, Jesus Christ,
you got any scissors?
619
00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:34,946
Phil: The brains of
the company will try.
620
00:32:34,986 --> 00:32:39,287
You are saved! You are saved!
621
00:32:39,324 --> 00:32:41,350
Drinks on the house...
622
00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:52,767
Be saved with Jesus!
623
00:32:52,804 --> 00:32:54,568
Drinks for everyone,
on the house.
624
00:32:54,606 --> 00:32:56,905
Line 'em up, line
'em up, boys and girls.
625
00:32:56,942 --> 00:32:58,934
You need a light?
626
00:33:06,751 --> 00:33:08,743
Yeah, you want a gin fixer.
627
00:33:08,787 --> 00:33:11,951
Did you say gin buck or gin fix?
628
00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:19,821
What did you want?
629
00:33:50,595 --> 00:33:52,757
Phil?
630
00:33:52,797 --> 00:33:55,494
Phil, Phil, Phil, do you
know what time it is?
631
00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:57,935
- I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
- It's 9:30!
632
00:33:57,969 --> 00:33:59,961
- So what?
- What do you mean, so what?
633
00:34:00,005 --> 00:34:02,016
- We started at 7:00. He's not coming.
- He said he'd be here.
634
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,839
He's kidding, because
he's not here. He's not here.
635
00:34:04,876 --> 00:34:08,335
- What do you want me to do?
- Act a little concerned.
636
00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:10,391
- I'm concerned.
- Oh really? Because you know what?
637
00:34:10,415 --> 00:34:12,714
- You hide it really, really, well.
- Yes, I'm concerned.
638
00:34:14,853 --> 00:34:17,254
Just have faith.
639
00:34:17,289 --> 00:34:18,882
Would you?
640
00:34:18,924 --> 00:34:21,826
Just once.
641
00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:24,056
Have fa... ha...
642
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:28,128
Have faith.
643
00:35:00,165 --> 00:35:02,396
Man: Hey, thanks a lot, buddy.
644
00:35:39,804 --> 00:35:42,569
Phil: That son of a bitch
645
00:35:42,607 --> 00:35:46,738
talked to me about
basketball for nearly two hours.
646
00:35:46,778 --> 00:35:48,770
And all he did was exhibit
647
00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:51,408
that he doesn't know the
first thing about the game.
648
00:35:52,751 --> 00:35:55,220
What? You think you can
get me a smaller glass?
649
00:35:55,253 --> 00:35:57,085
How about a little
thimble or something?
650
00:35:57,122 --> 00:35:59,182
They're all dirty.
651
00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:03,485
Give me that bottle.
652
00:36:03,528 --> 00:36:07,863
That's what love about these
things. It kills me about these things.
653
00:36:07,899 --> 00:36:11,836
You get a guy away from
his wife for a couple of days,
654
00:36:11,870 --> 00:36:13,998
you pour a couple
drinks into him,
655
00:36:14,039 --> 00:36:16,531
he all of the sudden
becomes the world's
656
00:36:16,574 --> 00:36:18,805
foremost expert
657
00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:20,368
on sports.
658
00:36:20,412 --> 00:36:23,610
That's why God
created wives, Bob.
659
00:36:23,648 --> 00:36:26,345
So that they can show men
660
00:36:26,384 --> 00:36:28,376
when they're being assholes.
661
00:36:28,420 --> 00:36:31,015
You get a guy away from his wife
662
00:36:31,056 --> 00:36:33,753
for any length of time,
663
00:36:33,792 --> 00:36:37,490
and he hasn't the first
idea how to behave.
664
00:36:37,529 --> 00:36:40,089
- Take it from me.
- The Bible said
665
00:36:40,131 --> 00:36:43,067
God created Eve as a helpmate.
666
00:36:44,436 --> 00:36:46,837
As a what?
667
00:36:46,871 --> 00:36:48,533
A helper
668
00:36:48,573 --> 00:36:50,508
suitable to meet his needs.
669
00:36:50,542 --> 00:36:52,534
I don't know
anything about that,
670
00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:56,036
but what I do know is this,
671
00:36:56,081 --> 00:36:58,983
God created women to be mirrors,
672
00:36:59,017 --> 00:37:02,249
so a man can see
what an ass he is.
673
00:37:03,421 --> 00:37:07,153
You talk to me about souls,
674
00:37:07,192 --> 00:37:11,755
a man does not know
what his soul looks like.
675
00:37:11,796 --> 00:37:15,096
Hasn't any idea what
his soul looks like
676
00:37:15,133 --> 00:37:20,094
until he gazes into the eyes of
the woman that he's married to.
677
00:37:20,138 --> 00:37:24,041
And then, if he's any kind
of decent human being,
678
00:37:24,075 --> 00:37:26,271
he spends the next
couple of days throwing up.
679
00:37:27,879 --> 00:37:29,745
Because no man,
680
00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:33,377
no honest man,
can stand that image.
681
00:37:33,418 --> 00:37:36,946
Go ahead, take your shoes off, and
be comfortable, everybody's gone.
682
00:37:38,456 --> 00:37:42,120
I thought you said you
didn't like being married?
683
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,720
Well, I didn't,
684
00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:47,392
but that doesn't mean
I don't recommend it.
685
00:37:49,667 --> 00:37:51,659
There's a lot of
things in this life
686
00:37:51,703 --> 00:37:53,638
that are good for you,
687
00:37:53,671 --> 00:37:55,765
that are not
necessarily pleasant.
688
00:37:55,807 --> 00:37:58,140
Like circumcision.
689
00:38:04,582 --> 00:38:07,177
It's about time. Where
the hell have you been?
690
00:38:07,218 --> 00:38:09,050
What do you mean,
where the hell have I been?
691
00:38:09,087 --> 00:38:12,023
While you've been sitting in
here stroking every swinging dick
692
00:38:12,056 --> 00:38:16,619
that walked through that door, I've
been in search of the Grand Kahuna!
693
00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:19,123
The what?
694
00:38:19,164 --> 00:38:22,225
The savior, Bob. El Presidente.
695
00:38:22,267 --> 00:38:26,170
The man who with one small
utterance, one tiny ejaculation of sound,
696
00:38:26,204 --> 00:38:28,605
could make this
company big with child.
697
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,108
Did you find him?
698
00:38:32,010 --> 00:38:35,037
Phil, use your intuition
here for a second.
699
00:38:35,079 --> 00:38:39,107
Use that God-given gift you have
for smelling out the truth of a situation.
700
00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:41,142
Do I look as though I found him?
701
00:38:41,186 --> 00:38:43,781
- No.
- Good, you still have it.
702
00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:46,018
Bob: Who are you
guys talking about?
703
00:38:46,057 --> 00:38:49,858
We're talking about
the Grand Kahuna, Bob.
704
00:38:49,894 --> 00:38:52,406
The great white whale... did you
ever read "The Old Man in the Sea"?
705
00:38:52,430 --> 00:38:54,865
- No.
- Then forget about it.
706
00:38:54,899 --> 00:38:58,233
We're talking about a man
who represents as an entity
707
00:38:58,269 --> 00:39:02,536
the largest single account this company
has or probably ever would have seen.
708
00:39:02,574 --> 00:39:04,543
Potential account.
709
00:39:04,576 --> 00:39:07,740
Potential, yeah, it's good of you
to point that out, Phil, potential!
710
00:39:07,779 --> 00:39:11,181
What could have been. Because
it was our job, compadres,
711
00:39:11,216 --> 00:39:13,378
to turn that
potentiality into reality.
712
00:39:13,418 --> 00:39:16,718
To have it show up in the
coffers. To court this gentleman.
713
00:39:16,754 --> 00:39:20,088
To promise him favors if
necessary, to get him on our side.
714
00:39:20,124 --> 00:39:22,423
But did we succeed in
this regard, or did we fail?
715
00:39:22,460 --> 00:39:25,555
Let's see a show of hands.
716
00:39:25,597 --> 00:39:29,056
- We'll be all right.
- Yeah, of course we'll be all right.
717
00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:32,764
Once they drag our bodies from the
river and send our spirits to the moon,
718
00:39:32,804 --> 00:39:34,796
then, sure it's all
the intermediate stuff.
719
00:39:34,839 --> 00:39:37,434
It's the actual process of being
skinned alive and set fire to
720
00:39:37,475 --> 00:39:40,240
that's the difficult part,
the rest is duck soup.
721
00:39:41,412 --> 00:39:43,540
You had to go
searching for this guy?
722
00:39:45,416 --> 00:39:47,146
We had to, Bob.
723
00:39:47,185 --> 00:39:50,644
We weren't supposed
to, but yes we had to.
724
00:39:50,688 --> 00:39:53,283
He was supposed to
have shown up here tonight.
725
00:39:53,324 --> 00:39:56,488
Someone was supposed to
have lured him up here for a drink.
726
00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:59,725
What are you looking at me for?
727
00:39:59,764 --> 00:40:01,733
I done my job.
728
00:40:03,835 --> 00:40:05,360
You phoned him?
729
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:07,429
You're goddamn
right I phoned him.
730
00:40:07,472 --> 00:40:09,634
And you spoke to him direct?
731
00:40:12,610 --> 00:40:15,136
I talked to his secretary.
732
00:40:15,179 --> 00:40:17,341
He was on a long distance call.
733
00:40:22,487 --> 00:40:24,285
She assured me
that he'd be here.
734
00:40:24,322 --> 00:40:27,759
Oh, she assured you... Well
guess what? She was joking.
735
00:40:27,792 --> 00:40:29,503
She probably had a bunch
of her secretary friends
736
00:40:29,527 --> 00:40:31,962
all gathered around the
speakerphone saying, "Watch this."
737
00:40:31,996 --> 00:40:34,124
I bet she does
stand-up on the side.
738
00:40:34,165 --> 00:40:36,100
Something probably
just happened.
739
00:40:37,902 --> 00:40:41,270
I think it's rather obvious
that something happened.
740
00:40:41,306 --> 00:40:43,502
Maybe he just pulled
up sick at the last minute.
741
00:40:43,541 --> 00:40:45,840
Oh, no, no, no, he's
here. He's here all right.
742
00:40:45,877 --> 00:40:48,574
I've heard his name bandied
about all night in the present tense.
743
00:40:48,613 --> 00:40:52,812
He's here, my friends.
He just isn't here!
744
00:40:52,850 --> 00:40:56,150
Forgive my subtle nuance.
745
00:40:56,187 --> 00:41:00,318
We just have to figure
out some other way is all.
746
00:41:01,793 --> 00:41:03,921
Phil, are you deaf?
747
00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:07,899
We lost the man. He was
invited but he did not come.
748
00:41:07,932 --> 00:41:10,094
We're like the dinosaurs
when the climate changed,
749
00:41:10,134 --> 00:41:12,933
there is no longer any
reason for us to roam the earth.
750
00:41:14,339 --> 00:41:17,673
Why can't you just
schedule an appointment,
751
00:41:17,709 --> 00:41:20,269
and go and see him?
752
00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:22,610
You don't schedule an
appointment with this guy, Bob.
753
00:41:22,647 --> 00:41:25,481
He's the president, he
refers you to his people.
754
00:41:25,516 --> 00:41:28,179
- So why not go see his people?
- Because they're all dildos.
755
00:41:28,219 --> 00:41:29,881
Every single one of them.
756
00:41:29,921 --> 00:41:32,550
Sometimes you have to
go past the smaller minds.
757
00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:34,568
You have to cozy up to someone
a little higher on the ladder,
758
00:41:34,592 --> 00:41:36,904
who can say, "Hey, you know
what? I would really like to try
759
00:41:36,928 --> 00:41:39,006
some of this new product,
so either buy some and try it,
760
00:41:39,030 --> 00:41:41,465
or get the fuck out
because you're fired."
761
00:41:41,499 --> 00:41:45,231
I'm gonna put another call
into his secretary in the morning.
762
00:41:46,504 --> 00:41:49,167
Phil, are you not hearing
a word I'm saying?
763
00:41:49,207 --> 00:41:52,609
I realize it's human nature to think
we stand another chance with this guy,
764
00:41:52,643 --> 00:41:54,635
but it's fantasy, man.
765
00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:57,649
We're gonna go back to Chicago
tomorrow, and Evens is gonna say,
766
00:41:57,682 --> 00:42:01,813
"Hey, Phil, Larry, Bob,
come into my office.
767
00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:04,152
I have something for you.
768
00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:06,020
Bend over."
769
00:42:08,693 --> 00:42:12,186
So what do you think, Bob?
You want to do this for a living?
770
00:42:12,230 --> 00:42:14,290
I don't know. I thought
it was kind of interesting.
771
00:42:14,332 --> 00:42:16,699
Oh yeah, how so?
772
00:42:16,734 --> 00:42:19,670
You get to hear a lot
of interesting stories.
773
00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:20,865
That you do.
774
00:42:20,905 --> 00:42:23,484
They're far outweighed by the horseshit
that flies across the room all night,
775
00:42:23,508 --> 00:42:26,171
but they're there to
listen for if you want.
776
00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:29,023
- Are there always this many people?
- It just looks like a lot of people,
777
00:42:29,047 --> 00:42:30,743
'cause the room's so damn small.
778
00:42:30,782 --> 00:42:32,045
Larry.
779
00:42:32,083 --> 00:42:34,348
Sorry, the carrot
stick's gone to my head.
780
00:42:35,853 --> 00:42:38,823
I met a guy who started
talking to me about dogs.
781
00:42:39,991 --> 00:42:41,550
Larry: What about dogs?
782
00:42:41,592 --> 00:42:43,788
Just that he's always owned one.
783
00:42:43,828 --> 00:42:45,820
He told me that
one way or the other
784
00:42:45,863 --> 00:42:48,196
he's owned a
dog his entire life.
785
00:42:48,232 --> 00:42:51,259
Most of them German Shepherds.
786
00:42:51,302 --> 00:42:54,329
Larry: That's not that unusual.
A lot of people have dogs.
787
00:42:54,372 --> 00:42:58,833
I know, but that got us
started on all sorts of things.
788
00:42:58,876 --> 00:43:02,244
He had to have his last one put
to sleep because it bit someone.
789
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:04,480
So then he started telling
me about the one before that,
790
00:43:04,515 --> 00:43:08,043
and the one before that.
And the one before that.
791
00:43:08,086 --> 00:43:10,817
Before you knew it,
we traced his entire life
792
00:43:10,855 --> 00:43:13,825
through the series of dogs.
793
00:43:13,858 --> 00:43:15,793
Mostly German Shepherds.
794
00:43:17,728 --> 00:43:20,425
I wish to hell Murdock was here.
795
00:43:20,465 --> 00:43:23,458
Bob: Who's Murdock?
796
00:43:23,501 --> 00:43:25,697
Larry: Dale Murdock.
797
00:43:25,736 --> 00:43:30,106
The best damn marketing rep
this company has ever seen.
798
00:43:30,141 --> 00:43:32,406
God, Jesus, what a talent.
799
00:43:32,443 --> 00:43:33,706
Bob: Successful?
800
00:43:33,744 --> 00:43:35,736
No, more than just successful,
801
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:39,148
this guy, he had the gift.
802
00:43:39,183 --> 00:43:42,551
You know how when you're watching
some athletes do what they're doing?
803
00:43:42,587 --> 00:43:45,216
It's like they're remembering
something they've always known
804
00:43:45,256 --> 00:43:47,534
instead of something they had to learn.
That's what it was like with Murdock,
805
00:43:47,558 --> 00:43:49,652
except only with people.
806
00:43:49,694 --> 00:43:50,923
Where is he now?
807
00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:52,590
- Who, Murdock?
- Yeah.
808
00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:55,464
He's gone on to
his great reward.
809
00:43:55,500 --> 00:43:57,731
I heard he's down in
Florida somewhere.
810
00:43:57,768 --> 00:44:00,260
Last I heard, somebody said
811
00:44:00,304 --> 00:44:02,398
that he had a whole
chain of Burger Kings.
812
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:06,468
I wouldn't doubt it if it was the
biggest goddamn chain in the state.
813
00:44:06,511 --> 00:44:08,810
But the days of
Murdock are behind us.
814
00:44:08,846 --> 00:44:11,111
Now, it's the days
of Larry and Phil.
815
00:44:11,149 --> 00:44:13,015
Phil and Larry and Bob.
816
00:44:13,050 --> 00:44:16,851
Three guys who are about to
be royally fucked up the ass.
817
00:44:16,888 --> 00:44:19,016
We'll be all right.
818
00:44:20,791 --> 00:44:23,886
- You think so, huh?
- Phil: Sure.
819
00:44:23,928 --> 00:44:26,523
I hope you're right for our
sake, because letting Mr. Fuller
820
00:44:26,564 --> 00:44:28,726
slip through our fingers
like this could be construed
821
00:44:28,766 --> 00:44:32,362
as an act of incompetence. It
makes us look pretty damn bad.
822
00:44:33,871 --> 00:44:35,999
Did you say Fuller?
823
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,010
- Yeah.
- Dick Fuller?
824
00:44:39,043 --> 00:44:42,013
Yeah, Dick, Richard.
Why, you know him?
825
00:44:42,046 --> 00:44:44,015
That was the guy
I was talking to.
826
00:44:45,816 --> 00:44:47,808
- What did... what?
- The guy with the dogs,
827
00:44:47,852 --> 00:44:51,118
- that was Dick Fuller.
- Oh, get out of here.
828
00:44:51,155 --> 00:44:53,989
I'm serious, look, he
even gave me his card.
829
00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:57,257
- Phil: I'll be a son of a bitch.
- Larry: Let me see it.
830
00:44:57,295 --> 00:44:59,389
I thought you checked
everybody's name tag.
831
00:44:59,430 --> 00:45:02,042
I did check everybody's name tag, and
anybody that wasn't wearing a name tag
832
00:45:02,066 --> 00:45:04,058
I came right out and
said, "What's your name?"
833
00:45:04,101 --> 00:45:06,502
- Bob: He wasn't wearing his name tag.
- What?
834
00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:09,666
No, I mean he wasn't wearing his
own, I think it was someone else's.
835
00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:12,677
Why on earth would he be
wearing somebody else's name tag?
836
00:45:12,710 --> 00:45:15,874
Beats me. It looks like he had a
couple of drinks before he got here.
837
00:45:15,913 --> 00:45:17,925
Maybe he swapped it with
someone. I got the impression
838
00:45:17,949 --> 00:45:20,260
he wanted to be left alone. He
was broken up about the dog.
839
00:45:20,284 --> 00:45:21,684
I do not fucking believe this.
840
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:23,711
We had Dick Fuller right
here within our grasp,
841
00:45:23,754 --> 00:45:25,814
and we let him slip
through our fingers!
842
00:45:25,856 --> 00:45:28,189
- Sorry.
- It's not your fault.
843
00:45:28,226 --> 00:45:29,819
We had him, we
had him, he was ours.
844
00:45:29,860 --> 00:45:34,025
Next time you ask people's names,
whether they're wearing badges or not.
845
00:45:34,065 --> 00:45:36,034
I'll give you a little
piece of information.
846
00:45:36,067 --> 00:45:37,899
There will be no next
time for us, my friend.
847
00:45:37,935 --> 00:45:41,167
We had Dick Fuller within
our sphere of influence,
848
00:45:41,205 --> 00:45:43,572
and we let him walk out of
here without hearing from us
849
00:45:43,608 --> 00:45:45,600
a word of what we had to say.
850
00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:50,537
- We'll be all right.
- What did you guys talk about, Bob?
851
00:45:52,016 --> 00:45:53,712
I don't know, stuff.
852
00:45:53,751 --> 00:45:57,916
Could you be a little more specific.
Did you talk sports, weather, what?
853
00:45:57,955 --> 00:45:59,617
Dogs mostly.
854
00:45:59,657 --> 00:46:01,558
That's it, nothing else?
855
00:46:02,627 --> 00:46:04,687
That and stuff
about our families.
856
00:46:04,729 --> 00:46:06,721
He asked about my wife.
857
00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:08,130
- Your wife?
- Yeah.
858
00:46:08,165 --> 00:46:10,259
What did he want to
know about your wife?
859
00:46:10,301 --> 00:46:12,236
Nothing, he just asked.
860
00:46:12,270 --> 00:46:14,262
Did you tell him he could
have her if he wanted
861
00:46:14,305 --> 00:46:16,865
in consideration for throwing
a little business our way?
862
00:46:16,907 --> 00:46:18,432
Larry.
863
00:46:18,476 --> 00:46:20,377
What did you talk about, Bob?
864
00:46:25,750 --> 00:46:28,948
Just... I don't know...
Religion some.
865
00:46:28,986 --> 00:46:32,320
You talked to the president of one
of the largest manufacturing firms
866
00:46:32,356 --> 00:46:35,224
in all of the Midwest
about religion?
867
00:46:35,259 --> 00:46:37,251
Is that who he
is? I didn't know.
868
00:46:37,295 --> 00:46:39,287
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
What did you say to him?
869
00:46:39,330 --> 00:46:41,595
What exactly did you
tell him about religion?
870
00:46:44,535 --> 00:46:46,680
- We just talked.
- You didn't contradict him, did you?
871
00:46:46,704 --> 00:46:48,400
- No.
- Thank God.
872
00:46:48,439 --> 00:46:50,751
That's the first rule about
talking religion at a convention,
873
00:46:50,775 --> 00:46:53,108
is do not contradict the
client. No, I take that back.
874
00:46:53,144 --> 00:46:54,305
That's the second rule.
875
00:46:54,345 --> 00:46:57,247
The first rule about talking
religion at a convention is don't.
876
00:46:57,281 --> 00:46:59,182
- Don't... don't what?
- Don't do it.
877
00:47:00,284 --> 00:47:02,947
- We seemed to have survived.
- Did you contradict him?
878
00:47:02,987 --> 00:47:04,979
- No.
- Well then, that's why, Bob.
879
00:47:05,022 --> 00:47:07,821
That's the reason you survived.
880
00:47:07,858 --> 00:47:09,759
I thought it was a nice chat.
881
00:47:09,794 --> 00:47:13,196
How did you end up taking
about religion with Dick Fuller,
882
00:47:13,230 --> 00:47:15,495
in the first place?
883
00:47:15,533 --> 00:47:18,731
It just came up with the
stories of his dogs dying and all.
884
00:47:18,769 --> 00:47:20,635
You told him his
dogs were in heaven?
885
00:47:20,671 --> 00:47:22,037
No.
886
00:47:22,073 --> 00:47:24,201
You told him his
dogs were in hell?
887
00:47:24,241 --> 00:47:26,233
- Of course not.
- Then what, Bob?
888
00:47:26,277 --> 00:47:29,736
What exactly did
you say to the man?
889
00:47:29,780 --> 00:47:31,612
We started talking.
890
00:47:31,649 --> 00:47:34,244
The thing about the
dogs was just a lead in.
891
00:47:34,285 --> 00:47:37,449
I mean it got us talking
about life and death.
892
00:47:39,390 --> 00:47:42,827
It was a lead in?
893
00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,351
Sure.
894
00:47:46,063 --> 00:47:50,433
Which implies, does it not, that
you were looking for the opportunity
895
00:47:50,468 --> 00:47:53,233
to talk about life and death?
896
00:47:53,270 --> 00:47:55,762
Sure. I guess so.
897
00:47:55,806 --> 00:47:58,674
No, don't say sure. I
mean it's not like sure.
898
00:47:58,709 --> 00:48:00,678
How am I supposed to know?
899
00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:04,307
Most people don't go around
looking for opportunities
900
00:48:04,348 --> 00:48:06,340
to strike up conversations
with total strangers
901
00:48:06,384 --> 00:48:09,650
about life and death and
religion, and things of that ilk.
902
00:48:09,687 --> 00:48:12,748
- Some people do.
- Some people, yeah.
903
00:48:12,790 --> 00:48:15,135
I guess there's some people,
and apparently you're one of them.
904
00:48:15,159 --> 00:48:18,129
But most people, no.
Most people if you ask about
905
00:48:18,162 --> 00:48:20,996
life and death they say, "Hey,
life is good; death is bad; the end."
906
00:48:21,031 --> 00:48:23,728
They don't go around
looking for opportunities.
907
00:48:23,768 --> 00:48:26,465
I guess I'm not most people.
908
00:48:26,504 --> 00:48:30,908
Bob, that's probably true. I
would say that's very safe to say.
909
00:48:30,941 --> 00:48:33,638
I just think it's important to let
people know what you believe.
910
00:48:33,677 --> 00:48:35,646
Oh, Jesus Christ.
911
00:48:35,679 --> 00:48:38,291
If I had known that you were
supposed to get in touch with the guy,
912
00:48:38,315 --> 00:48:41,649
then I would have told you, I
would have alerted you somehow.
913
00:48:41,685 --> 00:48:44,655
It's not your fault, Bob.
914
00:48:44,688 --> 00:48:47,214
Larry: Phil!
915
00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:50,126
How's he to know? He
was just taking to the guy.
916
00:48:50,161 --> 00:48:53,689
Talking to the guy, yes, but
listening, no I don't think so.
917
00:48:53,731 --> 00:48:57,099
At least not for the opportunities to
advance the interests of the company.
918
00:48:57,134 --> 00:49:00,127
Maybe if the conversation had
stayed on a more temporal plane,
919
00:49:00,171 --> 00:49:03,539
then just maybe... perhaps it might
have worked itself around to the subject
920
00:49:03,574 --> 00:49:05,600
of where lubricants might
have been mentioned.
921
00:49:05,643 --> 00:49:07,373
- You don't know that.
- Oh, come on.
922
00:49:07,411 --> 00:49:09,744
I think the odds are a hell
of a lot better, but as it was,
923
00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:11,792
the conversation was not
allowed to have a natural course,
924
00:49:11,816 --> 00:49:15,150
because somebody was at the
helm directing it. Am I right, Bob?
925
00:49:15,186 --> 00:49:18,350
Sounds to me like the guy
just wanted to be left alone.
926
00:49:18,389 --> 00:49:20,467
- That is not the point and you know it.
- Phil's right.
927
00:49:20,491 --> 00:49:23,950
- He practically came out and said it.
- Well, guys, friends, compadres,
928
00:49:23,994 --> 00:49:26,156
it was our task at hand
929
00:49:26,197 --> 00:49:29,326
to overcome that desire
of his for a little while.
930
00:49:29,366 --> 00:49:31,767
To garner his interests.
931
00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:33,814
And I submit to you he
did not want to be left alone.
932
00:49:33,838 --> 00:49:35,830
If he had, he would have
stayed in his hotel room.
933
00:49:35,873 --> 00:49:38,051
He would not have gone around
cruising the hospitality suites
934
00:49:38,075 --> 00:49:39,634
in search of conversation.
935
00:49:39,677 --> 00:49:41,976
I submit to you he did
not wish to be left alone,
936
00:49:42,012 --> 00:49:43,344
but only not to talk business.
937
00:49:43,380 --> 00:49:45,212
In which case we're
out of luck anyway.
938
00:49:45,249 --> 00:49:47,582
Phil, come on. You know
there's ways around that.
939
00:49:47,618 --> 00:49:50,884
Not to badger the man, but to let him
know what we came here to tell him.
940
00:49:50,921 --> 00:49:53,356
- That's what I'm saying.
- I'm sorry.
941
00:49:53,390 --> 00:49:56,519
It's no good to be sorry. It
doesn't do us any good now.
942
00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:57,619
What else can I do?
943
00:49:57,661 --> 00:50:01,257
Nothing. There is nothing
you can do now at this juncture.
944
00:50:10,174 --> 00:50:12,905
Did he happen to mention
where he was staying?
945
00:50:12,943 --> 00:50:16,209
- Somewhere in the hotel.
- This hotel?
946
00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:17,476
Yes.
947
00:50:17,515 --> 00:50:19,860
What are you gonna do, Larry?
Bang on his door after midnight?
948
00:50:19,884 --> 00:50:21,876
I'm just asking, is
there a crime in that?
949
00:50:21,919 --> 00:50:23,911
Because I'm thinking that
maybe tomorrow morning
950
00:50:23,954 --> 00:50:28,255
we could run into him in the
coffee shop downstairs accidentally.
951
00:50:28,292 --> 00:50:30,557
- We don't know what he looks like.
- Well, Bob does.
952
00:50:30,594 --> 00:50:33,723
I'd be willing to do that.
953
00:50:33,764 --> 00:50:37,724
What's all this business
on the back of his card, Bob?
954
00:50:37,768 --> 00:50:39,779
That's where he said he
was going after he left here.
955
00:50:39,803 --> 00:50:40,827
What, what, what?
956
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:43,340
It's some kind of private party
at the hotel down the street
957
00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:45,468
What the hell are we
doing here? Let's go.
958
00:50:45,509 --> 00:50:47,171
- We can't.
- Why not.
959
00:50:47,211 --> 00:50:49,203
- It's by invitation only.
- So?
960
00:50:49,246 --> 00:50:51,647
So, I think he'd get mad if
we all showed up like that.
961
00:50:51,682 --> 00:50:54,277
He made a big point about
saying how private it was.
962
00:50:54,318 --> 00:50:56,310
That's the least of
our worries right now.
963
00:50:56,353 --> 00:50:58,365
If he gets mad we'll deal
with it when we get there.
964
00:50:58,389 --> 00:51:00,324
- Grab your coats.
- Not so fast, Larry.
965
00:51:00,357 --> 00:51:04,226
- What?
- I think Bob may be right.
966
00:51:04,261 --> 00:51:06,753
- You don't barge in on this guy.
- Phil!
967
00:51:06,797 --> 00:51:08,925
Well, think about it.
968
00:51:08,966 --> 00:51:12,698
Do you really wanna piss this guy
off by crashing some exclusive party?
969
00:51:12,736 --> 00:51:14,728
Not to mention whoever
else might be there.
970
00:51:14,772 --> 00:51:17,217
So what do you suggest we do?
Stand around here in a circle jerk
971
00:51:17,241 --> 00:51:19,920
while the account of a lifetime
slips through our fingers?
972
00:51:19,944 --> 00:51:22,846
- No, no.
- What then?
973
00:51:28,586 --> 00:51:31,681
I think we send Bob.
974
00:51:31,722 --> 00:51:33,700
What?
975
00:51:33,724 --> 00:51:37,203
He gave you that thing
as an invitation, right?
976
00:51:37,227 --> 00:51:39,594
Yeah, he said it
would get me in.
977
00:51:39,630 --> 00:51:41,908
Phil, Phil, Phil, don't
do this to me, man.
978
00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:43,810
What choice do we have?
979
00:51:43,834 --> 00:51:46,929
That is our only
legitimate way in there.
980
00:51:46,971 --> 00:51:49,805
Besides, he knows Bob.
981
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:52,674
They talked. Bob's got an in.
982
00:51:52,710 --> 00:51:56,122
You are putting our
future in the hands of a kid.
983
00:51:56,146 --> 00:51:58,308
No, it's gonna be all
right. Give me your card.
984
00:51:58,349 --> 00:52:00,545
- Jesus...
- Just give me...
985
00:52:03,721 --> 00:52:07,351
All right, here's what I
want you to do, sit down.
986
00:52:09,259 --> 00:52:12,627
- Listen to me.
- I'm listening.
987
00:52:12,663 --> 00:52:15,758
Here's what I want you to do.
988
00:52:15,799 --> 00:52:17,791
I want you to go
down the street,
989
00:52:17,835 --> 00:52:19,997
and see if you
can find Mr. Fuller.
990
00:52:20,037 --> 00:52:22,768
If you're fortunate,
and he is still there
991
00:52:22,806 --> 00:52:25,674
I want you to give
him our business cards.
992
00:52:25,709 --> 00:52:27,974
Tell him that we
are very anxious
993
00:52:28,012 --> 00:52:29,878
to meet with him
994
00:52:29,913 --> 00:52:32,041
as soon as is humanly
possible. You got that?
995
00:52:32,082 --> 00:52:33,641
As soon as humanly possible.
996
00:52:33,684 --> 00:52:37,086
Tell him we'll be around the
hotel all morning tomorrow.
997
00:52:37,121 --> 00:52:40,819
He can reach us here or at
the numbers on these cards.
998
00:52:40,858 --> 00:52:43,919
All right? Here.
Ask him... ask him
999
00:52:43,961 --> 00:52:47,557
to please get a hold
of either Larry or me,
1000
00:52:47,598 --> 00:52:49,576
because we would
like to speak to him
1001
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,832
- very briefly about business.
- Larry: Business.
1002
00:52:52,870 --> 00:52:54,065
Just business.
1003
00:52:54,104 --> 00:52:56,573
Explain to him we
know that he's very busy,
1004
00:52:56,607 --> 00:52:58,599
it won't take up much time,
1005
00:52:58,642 --> 00:53:02,602
but there are a few things
that we need to discuss.
1006
00:53:02,646 --> 00:53:05,946
- Now do you have that?
- Yeah, I'll try.
1007
00:53:05,983 --> 00:53:07,645
All you have to
do... Listen to me.
1008
00:53:07,685 --> 00:53:10,211
All you have to do is give
him the cards and leave.
1009
00:53:10,254 --> 00:53:11,831
What if he wants to talk?
1010
00:53:11,855 --> 00:53:14,120
Well then you talk, Bob.
You talk as long as he wants.
1011
00:53:14,158 --> 00:53:16,650
40 days and 40 nights if
you have to, until he tires of it.
1012
00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:18,890
And then you come back
here, and tell us what happened.
1013
00:53:19,963 --> 00:53:21,955
- You'll wait up?
- Till the next fiscal quarter,
1014
00:53:21,999 --> 00:53:23,991
beyond that I can't
make any guarantees.
1015
00:53:25,269 --> 00:53:27,261
Don't worry about it,
you're gonna do fine.
1016
00:53:27,304 --> 00:53:29,482
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll do
fine. I'm sorry for doubting you.
1017
00:53:29,506 --> 00:53:31,618
Of course you'll do fine. If you
follow those instructions to the letter,
1018
00:53:31,642 --> 00:53:33,620
- you'll do great, you understand?
- Yes.
1019
00:53:33,644 --> 00:53:34,821
Okay, good.
1020
00:53:34,845 --> 00:53:36,837
Now go, time's a wasting.
1021
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:38,880
- Okay, I'll see you guys later.
- Okay, and hurry.
1022
00:53:38,916 --> 00:53:40,908
But not too fast, because
you'll work up a sweat,
1023
00:53:40,951 --> 00:53:43,079
and he won't want
to come near you.
1024
00:53:53,363 --> 00:53:56,959
Do I strike you as a
particularly religious man, Phil?
1025
00:53:59,369 --> 00:54:01,395
Not in the slightest.
1026
00:54:02,673 --> 00:54:04,665
Then why am I
seized with a sudden
1027
00:54:04,708 --> 00:54:07,940
overwhelming desire to pray?
1028
00:55:05,402 --> 00:55:07,564
I wonder if he found him?
1029
00:55:10,174 --> 00:55:13,338
- He found him.
- What makes you so sure?
1030
00:55:16,180 --> 00:55:19,617
If he hadn't've, he would
have been back by now.
1031
00:55:19,650 --> 00:55:22,245
Not necessarily.
1032
00:55:22,286 --> 00:55:23,879
It'll be all right.
1033
00:55:23,921 --> 00:55:25,412
Yeah.
1034
00:55:30,527 --> 00:55:33,122
Phil, can I ask you
something seriously?
1035
00:55:34,398 --> 00:55:35,525
Yeah.
1036
00:55:35,566 --> 00:55:38,331
Are you on some medication
I should know about?
1037
00:55:43,841 --> 00:55:47,300
What makes you think
I'm taking medication?
1038
00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:51,457
Because I've never seen
you this relaxed before.
1039
00:55:51,481 --> 00:55:55,350
I almost get the impression that
you just frankly don't give a shit.
1040
00:55:57,387 --> 00:55:59,549
I don't.
1041
00:55:59,590 --> 00:56:02,492
No, I know that. We all don't
give a shit to a certain extent.
1042
00:56:02,526 --> 00:56:05,189
What I'm saying is...
Is it's like you don't care.
1043
00:56:08,165 --> 00:56:10,100
I'm tired, Larry.
1044
00:56:10,133 --> 00:56:13,069
I recognize that. It's
been a very long day.
1045
00:56:13,103 --> 00:56:15,368
That's not what I mean.
1046
00:56:22,546 --> 00:56:26,813
I get what you're driving
at. And I sympathize, I do.
1047
00:56:26,850 --> 00:56:29,877
We all know you've been
going through a lot lately.
1048
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,165
And for a long time now, I've
been meaning to state outright,
1049
00:56:32,189 --> 00:56:36,251
if you need anything, don't
hesitate to call day or night.
1050
00:56:36,293 --> 00:56:40,754
I would have said something sooner,
but I thought maybe it was understood.
1051
00:56:40,797 --> 00:56:42,823
I assumed as much.
1052
00:56:42,866 --> 00:56:46,462
You were right to, and I
hope you know I mean it.
1053
00:56:47,738 --> 00:56:51,641
I've been thinking about
making a few changes.
1054
00:56:51,675 --> 00:56:53,507
Like what?
1055
00:56:53,543 --> 00:56:56,911
I don't know. Just changes.
1056
00:56:58,982 --> 00:57:01,850
Are you sure that's wise?
You've had an awful lot of changes
1057
00:57:01,885 --> 00:57:04,252
imposed on you in recent days.
1058
00:57:04,288 --> 00:57:07,690
Maybe it's time for
you to let things settle.
1059
00:57:11,295 --> 00:57:13,730
I've been toying with the idea
1060
00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:17,826
of pursuing a
different line of work.
1061
00:57:17,868 --> 00:57:20,337
Something other than marketing?
1062
00:57:22,172 --> 00:57:23,663
Yeah.
1063
00:57:23,707 --> 00:57:27,553
Speaking as your friend, as
one who knows you intimately,
1064
00:57:27,577 --> 00:57:29,989
I think that's a bad idea.
1065
00:57:30,013 --> 00:57:33,040
Dare I say an
entirely shitty idea.
1066
00:57:33,083 --> 00:57:34,517
Why?
1067
00:57:34,551 --> 00:57:37,783
Because A: you were
born for this. You have a gift.
1068
00:57:37,821 --> 00:57:39,653
I'm not Murdock.
1069
00:57:41,091 --> 00:57:43,253
Nobody's Murdock.
1070
00:57:43,293 --> 00:57:47,458
Murdock doesn't exist. He's
what we pumped him up to be.
1071
00:57:47,497 --> 00:57:49,489
And B: I don't
exactly relish the idea
1072
00:57:49,533 --> 00:57:52,970
of going out on the
road with somebody new.
1073
00:57:53,003 --> 00:57:55,495
It was gonna happen
sooner or later.
1074
00:57:55,539 --> 00:57:59,635
No it wasn't. I was always hoping
we'd end in a murder-suicide thing.
1075
00:58:57,167 --> 00:59:01,628
I've been thinking about a
lot of other things lately too.
1076
00:59:03,940 --> 00:59:06,219
If something's
bothering you, get it out.
1077
00:59:06,243 --> 00:59:08,712
It doesn't do any
good to let things fester.
1078
00:59:08,745 --> 00:59:11,613
What exactly have you been
1079
00:59:11,648 --> 00:59:14,709
thinking so much about?
1080
00:59:14,751 --> 00:59:17,380
- Life.
- Life?
1081
00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:20,615
And death.
1082
00:59:20,657 --> 00:59:23,126
Jesus, not you too.
What is it with everyone
1083
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:25,705
suddenly thinking about life and
death? Is there something going on
1084
00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:27,740
that nobody's telling me
that I should be told about?
1085
00:59:27,764 --> 00:59:29,289
Like sunspots or something?
1086
00:59:29,332 --> 00:59:32,325
Is there a plague coming
to wipe us from the globe?
1087
00:59:33,370 --> 00:59:36,465
- Strange things happen.
- No, they don't.
1088
00:59:36,506 --> 00:59:39,101
Not unless they're printed
first in "USA Today."
1089
00:59:39,142 --> 00:59:41,387
Jesus comes again, he's
gotta give them two days notice.
1090
00:59:41,411 --> 00:59:44,609
Time to work up one
of them little graphs.
1091
00:59:46,616 --> 00:59:49,347
I've been thinking
about God lately too.
1092
00:59:49,386 --> 00:59:51,184
Wondering.
1093
00:59:52,322 --> 00:59:55,292
- About God?
- Yeah.
1094
00:59:57,994 --> 00:59:59,986
What about him?
1095
01:00:03,100 --> 01:00:05,695
I don't know.
1096
01:00:05,735 --> 01:00:09,638
Haven't you just wondered
about God? Ever?
1097
01:00:11,942 --> 01:00:14,377
Yeah, everybody wonders
about God every now and then.
1098
01:00:14,411 --> 01:00:16,607
It's just some of
us don't dwell on it.
1099
01:00:18,281 --> 01:00:20,409
I give it a place.
1100
01:00:20,450 --> 01:00:23,010
I believe what I believe.
1101
01:00:23,053 --> 01:00:25,716
- Which is what?
- How the hell should I know?
1102
01:00:30,393 --> 01:00:33,488
When I was a kid I
had a dream about God.
1103
01:00:35,599 --> 01:00:37,568
I dreamt...
1104
01:00:37,601 --> 01:00:40,161
I found him hiding in a closet
1105
01:00:40,203 --> 01:00:43,173
in the middle of
a burnt out city.
1106
01:00:44,541 --> 01:00:47,909
This city was destroyed by fire.
1107
01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:51,778
Or some kind of explosion.
1108
01:00:55,685 --> 01:00:57,677
And there in the middle of it,
1109
01:00:58,855 --> 01:01:01,154
was a coat closet
1110
01:01:02,292 --> 01:01:04,887
standing there all by itself.
1111
01:01:06,429 --> 01:01:10,025
And I walked up to the
closet, and opened the door,
1112
01:01:11,735 --> 01:01:15,035
and inside was God
1113
01:01:15,071 --> 01:01:16,937
hiding.
1114
01:01:18,074 --> 01:01:20,236
I remember he had
1115
01:01:20,277 --> 01:01:22,542
a big lion head.
1116
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:27,078
But I knew it wasn't a lion.
1117
01:01:27,117 --> 01:01:29,245
It was God.
1118
01:01:29,286 --> 01:01:31,278
And he was afraid.
1119
01:01:35,859 --> 01:01:38,988
And I reached out my hand
1120
01:01:39,029 --> 01:01:41,464
to lead him out of the closet.
1121
01:01:43,733 --> 01:01:46,601
And I said,
1122
01:01:46,636 --> 01:01:48,730
"Don't be afraid, God.
1123
01:01:49,973 --> 01:01:52,238
I'm on your side."
1124
01:01:55,345 --> 01:01:58,713
And we stood there,
1125
01:01:58,748 --> 01:02:00,683
the two of us,
1126
01:02:00,717 --> 01:02:02,879
holding hands.
1127
01:02:04,254 --> 01:02:07,156
Looking out over
the destruction.
1128
01:02:10,460 --> 01:02:12,895
It was just after sunset.
1129
01:02:19,436 --> 01:02:21,428
I don't know why,
1130
01:02:21,471 --> 01:02:25,909
but I've always had
this haunting feeling
1131
01:02:28,278 --> 01:02:32,147
that I had some kind
of mission here on earth.
1132
01:02:37,254 --> 01:02:39,348
A mission?
1133
01:02:39,389 --> 01:02:41,915
Yeah.
1134
01:02:41,958 --> 01:02:43,950
What kind of mission?
1135
01:02:46,863 --> 01:02:48,889
I have no idea.
1136
01:02:52,302 --> 01:02:56,262
I'll tell you what your mission is.
Your mission is the same as mine.
1137
01:02:56,306 --> 01:03:00,641
To be a liaison between parties.
1138
01:03:03,413 --> 01:03:05,575
Things like that
don't bother you?
1139
01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:11,915
- What do you mean, dreams?
- Questions about God.
1140
01:03:15,258 --> 01:03:16,851
I figure,
1141
01:03:19,029 --> 01:03:21,007
I'm gonna find
out sooner or later.
1142
01:03:21,031 --> 01:03:24,832
My wondering about it
isn't gonna change anything.
1143
01:03:26,002 --> 01:03:29,166
In the meantime, why lose
sleep? I get precious little as it is.
1144
01:03:31,975 --> 01:03:34,968
But you still wonder, don't you?
1145
01:03:38,982 --> 01:03:41,713
I'm human, Phil.
1146
01:03:41,751 --> 01:03:43,583
I know.
1147
01:03:45,221 --> 01:03:47,233
We're all very tired.
1148
01:03:47,257 --> 01:03:49,249
It's the nature of the business.
1149
01:03:49,292 --> 01:03:51,523
You've been under a
lot of stress lately too.
1150
01:03:53,463 --> 01:03:55,489
Is that what it is?
1151
01:03:55,532 --> 01:03:58,468
Yeah. You're damn
right that's what it is.
1152
01:03:58,501 --> 01:04:00,527
You need a vacation.
1153
01:04:02,072 --> 01:04:04,371
- I just had a vacation.
- It didn't do any good,
1154
01:04:04,407 --> 01:04:08,071
so you need another one.
Or maybe just a good hot date.
1155
01:04:09,346 --> 01:04:11,611
- Yeah.
- Yeah. You need...
1156
01:04:11,648 --> 01:04:14,083
What's her name? The blonde?
1157
01:04:15,685 --> 01:04:18,985
- Susan.
- Yeah, Susan.
1158
01:04:19,022 --> 01:04:21,000
That's what you do...
That's exactly what you do.
1159
01:04:21,024 --> 01:04:25,359
You call her up. You tell her you
made reservations in the Dells.
1160
01:04:25,395 --> 01:04:28,194
You buy yourself a
gross or two of condoms.
1161
01:04:28,231 --> 01:04:31,429
And then the two of you
go at it like hamsters in heat.
1162
01:04:31,468 --> 01:04:34,370
You forget about work,
you forget about everything.
1163
01:04:34,404 --> 01:04:36,896
You just go on up there
and get your ashes hauled.
1164
01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,162
Do you love me, Larry?
1165
01:05:44,741 --> 01:05:47,370
Do I love you?
1166
01:05:47,410 --> 01:05:49,606
Yeah.
1167
01:05:49,646 --> 01:05:53,492
It depends on what you mean.
1168
01:05:53,516 --> 01:05:55,528
If you're asking am I
willing to have your children,
1169
01:05:55,552 --> 01:05:58,454
well, then no, I
probably don't love you.
1170
01:05:59,889 --> 01:06:01,915
Why do you ask?
1171
01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:04,860
It's just a question.
1172
01:06:04,894 --> 01:06:07,693
How could I not love you?
1173
01:06:07,730 --> 01:06:11,326
You've good hygiene.
You're a snappy dresser.
1174
01:06:11,367 --> 01:06:14,428
You don't talk with your mouth
full. What's not to love about that?
1175
01:06:16,840 --> 01:06:18,399
Forget it.
1176
01:06:21,211 --> 01:06:22,873
What brought that on?
1177
01:06:25,448 --> 01:06:28,384
When I was a kid
1178
01:06:28,418 --> 01:06:31,183
there was a Bible
verse that I learned.
1179
01:06:32,589 --> 01:06:34,319
When Jesus said,
1180
01:06:37,093 --> 01:06:40,791
"Greater love has
no man than this,
1181
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:43,493
that he lays down
his life for his friend."
1182
01:06:45,034 --> 01:06:49,438
Are you asking would I
be willing to die for you?
1183
01:06:49,472 --> 01:06:51,441
I guess so.
1184
01:06:53,710 --> 01:06:57,112
That's pushing
things kind of far.
1185
01:06:57,146 --> 01:06:59,638
What situation could
possibly come up
1186
01:06:59,682 --> 01:07:01,878
that I would be called
upon to die for you?
1187
01:07:06,055 --> 01:07:08,490
Beats me.
1188
01:07:08,525 --> 01:07:12,326
You're saying, "Hey, Larry,
take a flying leap off the balcony"?
1189
01:07:12,362 --> 01:07:14,354
No, I wouldn't.
1190
01:07:16,399 --> 01:07:18,698
I wouldn't ask you.
1191
01:07:20,136 --> 01:07:22,537
Even if you did, I'd
say, "Phil, my friend,
1192
01:07:22,572 --> 01:07:25,565
we've enjoyed a long and
happy relationship these last...
1193
01:07:25,608 --> 01:07:27,887
I don't know how many years,
but in answer to your request,
1194
01:07:27,911 --> 01:07:31,780
no, fuck you." And then I would
dismiss myself, no hard feelings.
1195
01:07:35,318 --> 01:07:37,310
Right, you should.
1196
01:07:45,862 --> 01:07:47,922
I don't know who I love.
1197
01:07:52,101 --> 01:07:54,297
There's a lot of people I like.
1198
01:08:01,144 --> 01:08:03,375
But love?
1199
01:08:07,283 --> 01:08:09,377
That's a whole different story.
1200
01:08:14,057 --> 01:08:16,117
Don't worry about it.
1201
01:08:18,127 --> 01:08:19,595
Yeah.
1202
01:08:31,541 --> 01:08:32,941
Oh...
1203
01:08:32,976 --> 01:08:34,842
he's here.
1204
01:08:34,877 --> 01:08:36,539
I told you.
1205
01:08:38,381 --> 01:08:39,849
So...
1206
01:08:40,850 --> 01:08:43,718
What? How'd it go?
1207
01:08:43,753 --> 01:08:46,086
Okay.
1208
01:08:46,122 --> 01:08:48,114
Did you find him?
1209
01:08:50,660 --> 01:08:52,856
Yes, I found him.
1210
01:08:52,895 --> 01:08:54,807
And?
1211
01:08:54,831 --> 01:08:56,459
And we talked.
1212
01:08:58,067 --> 01:08:59,501
And?
1213
01:08:59,535 --> 01:09:02,266
And nothing, we just talked.
1214
01:09:04,107 --> 01:09:06,099
What did you talk about, Bob?
1215
01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:11,312
Bob, what did you talk about?
1216
01:09:11,347 --> 01:09:14,146
We talked about Christ.
1217
01:09:21,824 --> 01:09:24,191
You talked about...
1218
01:09:24,227 --> 01:09:25,889
Jesus.
1219
01:09:25,928 --> 01:09:28,488
Did you mention perhaps
what line of industrial lubricants
1220
01:09:28,531 --> 01:09:30,762
- Jesus would have endorsed?
- Larry.
1221
01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:32,792
What did you say to him?
1222
01:09:35,538 --> 01:09:38,702
We just discussed things.
1223
01:09:38,741 --> 01:09:41,142
Concerning Jesus?
1224
01:09:41,177 --> 01:09:44,341
- Concerning a lot of things.
- In relation to?
1225
01:09:44,380 --> 01:09:46,940
- Jesus.
- Jesus,
1226
01:09:46,983 --> 01:09:49,214
yes I see.
1227
01:09:51,921 --> 01:09:55,517
So the subject of lubricants
didn't come up, I take it?
1228
01:09:55,558 --> 01:09:59,222
The nature of the conversation
steered itself away from that.
1229
01:09:59,262 --> 01:10:01,231
The nature did?
1230
01:10:01,264 --> 01:10:03,233
All by itself?
1231
01:10:03,266 --> 01:10:04,928
Yes.
1232
01:10:06,569 --> 01:10:09,937
The conversation was just
kind of going along on its own.
1233
01:10:09,972 --> 01:10:12,168
And then suddenly
out of the blue,
1234
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:15,076
and before you knew it, you
were just there talking about God
1235
01:10:15,111 --> 01:10:17,478
or Jesus, excuse me.
1236
01:10:17,513 --> 01:10:21,075
It was just two people talking.
1237
01:10:21,117 --> 01:10:24,451
I'm about to say
something to you, Bob.
1238
01:10:24,487 --> 01:10:26,479
It's not something I
say to a lot of people
1239
01:10:26,522 --> 01:10:29,981
because I have to truly
mean it and believe it.
1240
01:10:30,026 --> 01:10:33,463
Because to me it's like
telling somebody to go to hell.
1241
01:10:33,496 --> 01:10:37,263
- That's what it means to me.
- What is it?
1242
01:10:37,300 --> 01:10:40,099
It's that I don't believe you.
1243
01:10:40,136 --> 01:10:42,469
- You don't...?
- Believe you.
1244
01:10:42,505 --> 01:10:45,236
Yes, I'm having a hard time
1245
01:10:45,274 --> 01:10:49,143
convincing myself that
what you just said is true.
1246
01:10:49,178 --> 01:10:52,114
- It is true.
- Perhaps.
1247
01:10:52,148 --> 01:10:55,812
But I'm having a hard
time. Do you understand?
1248
01:10:55,852 --> 01:10:56,852
Larry, come on.
1249
01:10:56,886 --> 01:10:59,685
Leave me alone!
1250
01:10:59,722 --> 01:11:02,191
Will you please?
1251
01:11:03,559 --> 01:11:05,790
I'm trying to deal
with things here, okay?
1252
01:11:05,828 --> 01:11:08,263
So don't interrupt me again.
1253
01:11:08,297 --> 01:11:09,993
It's all right, Phil.
1254
01:11:10,032 --> 01:11:11,500
See? It's all right.
1255
01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:18,901
Bob, I'd like to
ask you a question,
1256
01:11:18,941 --> 01:11:21,740
and I'd like a straight answer.
Can you give that to me?
1257
01:11:21,778 --> 01:11:22,973
Yes.
1258
01:11:23,012 --> 01:11:25,709
Who raised
1259
01:11:25,748 --> 01:11:29,708
the subject of Jesus, honestly?
1260
01:11:42,965 --> 01:11:44,126
I did.
1261
01:11:44,167 --> 01:11:46,261
You...
1262
01:11:46,302 --> 01:11:47,770
Yes.
1263
01:11:47,804 --> 01:11:51,468
Mentioned Jesus first?
1264
01:11:51,507 --> 01:11:52,839
Yes.
1265
01:11:57,280 --> 01:11:59,749
Why?
1266
01:11:59,782 --> 01:12:02,342
Because it's very
important to me.
1267
01:12:03,686 --> 01:12:06,918
That people hear about Jesus.
1268
01:12:10,593 --> 01:12:13,324
You mean that...
1269
01:12:13,362 --> 01:12:16,093
That he died for their sins?
1270
01:12:16,132 --> 01:12:17,293
Yes.
1271
01:12:22,939 --> 01:12:26,432
Okay, Bob, let me
restate the question.
1272
01:12:26,475 --> 01:12:29,035
Understanding that it was
1273
01:12:29,078 --> 01:12:31,070
very important to our being here
1274
01:12:31,113 --> 01:12:34,083
that we meet with,
and speak to Mr. Fuller
1275
01:12:34,116 --> 01:12:38,178
concerning the
lubricant situation,
1276
01:12:40,356 --> 01:12:43,349
why did you instead
1277
01:12:43,392 --> 01:12:46,055
choose to talk to
him about Jesus?
1278
01:12:49,432 --> 01:12:51,992
Because I think
it's more important.
1279
01:12:53,202 --> 01:12:56,172
Even though we're at a convention
where it's more customary
1280
01:12:56,205 --> 01:12:59,664
- to talk business?
- Yes.
1281
01:12:59,709 --> 01:13:02,406
I understand, Larry.
1282
01:13:02,445 --> 01:13:05,313
I just don't see the
crime in speaking
1283
01:13:05,348 --> 01:13:10,150
to another human being
as another human being.
1284
01:13:10,186 --> 01:13:12,712
I didn't mention work, or
lubricants, or anything like that,
1285
01:13:12,755 --> 01:13:17,284
because I didn't want him to think
I was using the subject of religion
1286
01:13:17,326 --> 01:13:21,923
to cozy up to him, to get
him to sign some contract.
1287
01:13:21,964 --> 01:13:25,366
I didn't want him to
think I was insincere.
1288
01:13:27,870 --> 01:13:29,964
But you were insincere,
1289
01:13:30,006 --> 01:13:32,134
in a much greater sense.
1290
01:13:32,174 --> 01:13:36,703
If we're nothing but functions
here, why don't they send robots?
1291
01:13:36,746 --> 01:13:41,207
They don't send robots for the simple
reason they haven't invented one yet.
1292
01:13:41,250 --> 01:13:44,778
The day comes when they can
build a robot to do what we do,
1293
01:13:44,820 --> 01:13:48,257
and make it work, then
that's exactly what they'll do.
1294
01:13:48,291 --> 01:13:50,192
Precisely.
1295
01:13:50,226 --> 01:13:52,786
But until that
day, they send us.
1296
01:13:52,828 --> 01:13:55,388
They say, "Hey,
Bob, Larry, Phil,
1297
01:13:55,431 --> 01:13:57,957
why don't you go on down to
Wichita for a couple of days?
1298
01:13:58,000 --> 01:14:00,970
Don't worry about your room
and board. We'll take care of that."
1299
01:14:01,003 --> 01:14:04,201
And for a couple of days
1300
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:08,575
we lose our identities
here in Wichita.
1301
01:14:08,611 --> 01:14:13,345
And we become the
hands of the company,
1302
01:14:13,382 --> 01:14:15,817
shaking all the other
hands before us.
1303
01:14:15,851 --> 01:14:18,685
What you did... The
reason you were insincere
1304
01:14:18,721 --> 01:14:20,917
is that you cut off that bond.
1305
01:14:20,957 --> 01:14:24,189
It would be like the hand sort
of breaking away from the arm,
1306
01:14:24,226 --> 01:14:27,424
and saying, "Oh you know what? I
have this other thing out here to do
1307
01:14:27,463 --> 01:14:29,489
that has nothing
to do with you."
1308
01:14:29,532 --> 01:14:31,524
- Apostle Paul said...
- Please, don't do that.
1309
01:14:31,567 --> 01:14:33,559
I'm trying to have a
conversation with you here.
1310
01:14:33,602 --> 01:14:35,614
Don't bring the Apostle Paul in.
I'm trying to do something else.
1311
01:14:35,638 --> 01:14:37,649
I don't see how we can
have a conversation like this
1312
01:14:37,673 --> 01:14:39,904
if I'm not allowed to bring
up the subject of God.
1313
01:14:39,942 --> 01:14:41,376
We're not talking about God.
1314
01:14:41,410 --> 01:14:42,888
I'm talking about
something bigger than God.
1315
01:14:42,912 --> 01:14:43,912
Bigger than God?
1316
01:14:43,946 --> 01:14:46,040
At issue is not
your belief in God,
1317
01:14:46,082 --> 01:14:48,347
or your desire to
spread that belief.
1318
01:14:48,384 --> 01:14:51,149
- At issue is what we're here to do.
- Which is what, Larry?
1319
01:14:51,187 --> 01:14:52,382
Which is what?
1320
01:14:52,421 --> 01:14:56,791
We're here to sell lubricants!
Industrial lubricants!
1321
01:14:56,826 --> 01:14:58,795
Were not here to save souls.
1322
01:14:58,828 --> 01:15:03,266
We're not here to go chasing
women either, but that doesn't stop you.
1323
01:15:03,299 --> 01:15:06,030
How dare you throw
that back in my face?
1324
01:15:06,068 --> 01:15:08,162
How dare you,
you little pipsqueak?
1325
01:15:10,172 --> 01:15:13,267
There is nothing wrong
with admiring the scenery
1326
01:15:13,309 --> 01:15:15,301
while you're doing business,
1327
01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:18,781
as long as you're
doing business.
1328
01:15:18,814 --> 01:15:22,080
And for your information, son,
1329
01:15:22,118 --> 01:15:24,053
15 years,
1330
01:15:24,086 --> 01:15:27,887
not once have I
cheated on my wife.
1331
01:15:27,923 --> 01:15:31,087
If you look at a woman
with lust, it's the same as...
1332
01:15:31,127 --> 01:15:33,138
No it's not! No it's not!
There's a hell of a difference.
1333
01:15:33,162 --> 01:15:35,173
- That's not what Jesus said!
- How do you know what Jesus said,
1334
01:15:35,197 --> 01:15:36,893
for Christ's sake?
Were you there?
1335
01:15:36,932 --> 01:15:38,924
- No, somebody wrote it down in a book.
- Larry.
1336
01:15:38,968 --> 01:15:41,460
If someone handed it down,
you believe it? Yeah, sure.
1337
01:15:41,504 --> 01:15:42,647
And the transcriptions are true!
1338
01:15:42,671 --> 01:15:44,583
It's doesn't mean I'm right or
you're right. We weren't there.
1339
01:15:44,607 --> 01:15:47,805
- The Bible specifically states...
- Don't you quote scripture to me.
1340
01:15:47,843 --> 01:15:50,904
- Do not do it.
- I go back to what the Apostle Paul...
1341
01:15:50,946 --> 01:15:55,611
Apostle Paul was
not sent to Wichita to...
1342
01:15:55,651 --> 01:15:58,177
Phil: Larry, Larry, Larry...
1343
01:16:03,826 --> 01:16:05,818
Larry? Larry?
1344
01:16:12,868 --> 01:16:15,702
With or without the account,
1345
01:16:15,738 --> 01:16:17,536
we'll live.
1346
01:16:19,909 --> 01:16:21,138
Come on.
1347
01:16:25,247 --> 01:16:27,113
Bob: I'm sorry.
1348
01:16:33,189 --> 01:16:35,886
Larry: Yes,
1349
01:16:35,925 --> 01:16:38,258
we'll live.
1350
01:16:38,294 --> 01:16:40,729
Phil: We'll live.
1351
01:16:40,763 --> 01:16:43,824
I believe I just said that.
1352
01:17:05,721 --> 01:17:09,055
I'm suddenly very conscious
of the lateness of things.
1353
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:20,265
What time do you wanna
get together in the morning?
1354
01:17:25,774 --> 01:17:27,436
It doesn't matter.
1355
01:17:27,476 --> 01:17:29,411
What time?
1356
01:17:31,881 --> 01:17:34,612
7:30 - Make it 8:00.
1357
01:17:37,153 --> 01:17:39,088
Fine, 8:00.
1358
01:17:42,558 --> 01:17:45,153
Forgive me, Bob,
1359
01:17:45,194 --> 01:17:48,756
for behaving as though
I were your father.
1360
01:17:48,797 --> 01:17:51,323
Or trying to give you
a little something of...
1361
01:17:54,270 --> 01:17:56,000
what I am.
1362
01:18:00,776 --> 01:18:02,938
It's all right.
1363
01:18:09,585 --> 01:18:11,076
Phil: Larry.
1364
01:18:14,557 --> 01:18:16,788
Good night.
1365
01:18:59,501 --> 01:19:02,266
There's something
I want to say to you.
1366
01:19:06,008 --> 01:19:09,376
And I want you to
listen very closely,
1367
01:19:11,680 --> 01:19:13,672
because it's very important.
1368
01:19:17,620 --> 01:19:20,419
The man we just
chased from here...
1369
01:19:20,456 --> 01:19:22,687
We didn't chase anybody.
1370
01:19:22,725 --> 01:19:26,492
The man who just left the room
1371
01:19:26,528 --> 01:19:28,463
a moment ago
1372
01:19:29,598 --> 01:19:32,534
is a very good friend of mine.
1373
01:19:32,568 --> 01:19:36,061
Is it because I've known
him for a long time?
1374
01:19:37,172 --> 01:19:41,633
There are a lot of people who
I've known for quite a while.
1375
01:19:41,677 --> 01:19:45,614
And some of them I
wouldn't let wipe my dog's ass.
1376
01:19:45,648 --> 01:19:49,449
Others I can take or leave.
They don't matter to me.
1377
01:19:50,519 --> 01:19:53,819
But Larry matters very much.
1378
01:19:53,856 --> 01:19:56,155
The reason being,
1379
01:19:56,191 --> 01:19:58,285
I can trust him.
1380
01:19:58,327 --> 01:20:01,820
I know I can trust him.
1381
01:20:01,864 --> 01:20:06,029
- He's honest.
- Is he honest?
1382
01:20:06,068 --> 01:20:07,900
Or is he just blunt?
1383
01:20:09,271 --> 01:20:11,467
He's honest,
1384
01:20:11,507 --> 01:20:13,305
Bob.
1385
01:20:13,342 --> 01:20:18,076
He's blunt as well. That
sometimes is part of being honest.
1386
01:20:19,181 --> 01:20:22,447
Because there are a lot
of people who are blunt,
1387
01:20:22,484 --> 01:20:26,683
but not honest. Larry
is not one of those.
1388
01:20:26,722 --> 01:20:29,055
Larry is an honest man.
1389
01:20:33,929 --> 01:20:36,956
You too are an honest man.
1390
01:20:36,999 --> 01:20:41,027
I believe that. But somewhere
down deep inside of you
1391
01:20:41,070 --> 01:20:44,302
is something that
strives to be honest.
1392
01:20:44,340 --> 01:20:48,471
The question that you
have to ask yourself is,
1393
01:20:48,510 --> 01:20:52,277
has it touched the
whole of my life?
1394
01:20:53,582 --> 01:20:55,380
What does that mean?
1395
01:20:55,417 --> 01:20:59,354
That means that you preaching
Jesus is no different than Larry,
1396
01:20:59,388 --> 01:21:02,381
or anybody else
preaching lubricants.
1397
01:21:02,424 --> 01:21:06,293
It doesn't matter whether
you're selling Jesus or Buddha,
1398
01:21:06,328 --> 01:21:11,130
or civil rights, or how to make money
in real estate with no money down.
1399
01:21:12,568 --> 01:21:15,265
That doesn't make
you a human being.
1400
01:21:15,304 --> 01:21:17,466
It makes you a marketing rep.
1401
01:21:17,506 --> 01:21:20,806
If you want to talk to
somebody honestly,
1402
01:21:20,843 --> 01:21:22,709
as a human being,
1403
01:21:24,079 --> 01:21:27,015
ask him about his kids.
1404
01:21:27,049 --> 01:21:30,884
Find out what his dreams
are. Just to find out.
1405
01:21:30,919 --> 01:21:32,285
For no other reason.
1406
01:21:32,321 --> 01:21:36,019
Because as soon as you lay
your hands on a conversation,
1407
01:21:36,058 --> 01:21:40,462
to steer it, it's not a
conversation anymore.
1408
01:21:40,496 --> 01:21:43,591
It's a pitch. And you're
not a human being,
1409
01:21:43,632 --> 01:21:45,965
you're a marketing rep.
1410
01:21:47,836 --> 01:21:51,500
Forgive me if I
respectfully disagree.
1411
01:21:51,540 --> 01:21:54,169
We were talking before about
1412
01:21:54,209 --> 01:21:58,078
character... you were
asking me about character.
1413
01:21:58,113 --> 01:22:00,548
And we were speaking of faces.
1414
01:22:00,582 --> 01:22:03,245
But the question is
much deeper than that.
1415
01:22:04,620 --> 01:22:06,748
The question is,
1416
01:22:06,789 --> 01:22:10,453
do you have any
character at all?
1417
01:22:10,492 --> 01:22:14,520
And if you want my honest
opinion, Bob, you do not.
1418
01:22:14,563 --> 01:22:17,055
For the simple reason
1419
01:22:18,700 --> 01:22:21,693
that you don't
regret anything yet.
1420
01:22:21,737 --> 01:22:24,468
You're saying I won't
have any character
1421
01:22:25,674 --> 01:22:28,234
unless I do something I regret?
1422
01:22:28,277 --> 01:22:30,940
No, Bob.
1423
01:22:30,979 --> 01:22:35,440
I'm saying you've already
done plenty of things to regret.
1424
01:22:35,484 --> 01:22:37,680
You just don't
know what they are.
1425
01:22:39,855 --> 01:22:42,347
It's when you discover them,
1426
01:22:44,626 --> 01:22:48,358
when you see the folly
in something you've done,
1427
01:22:48,397 --> 01:22:52,232
and you wish that
you had it to do over,
1428
01:22:53,669 --> 01:22:56,537
but you know you can't,
1429
01:22:56,572 --> 01:22:58,564
because it's too late.
1430
01:23:02,544 --> 01:23:06,379
So you pick that thing up,
and you carry it with you
1431
01:23:06,415 --> 01:23:09,408
to remind you that life goes on.
1432
01:23:09,451 --> 01:23:12,888
The world will spin without you.
1433
01:23:12,921 --> 01:23:15,413
You really don't
matter in the end.
1434
01:23:17,993 --> 01:23:21,862
Then you will attain character,
1435
01:23:21,897 --> 01:23:25,095
because honesty
1436
01:23:26,235 --> 01:23:28,568
will reach out from inside,
1437
01:23:31,507 --> 01:23:34,875
and tattoo itself all
across your face.
1438
01:23:36,879 --> 01:23:38,609
Until that day,
1439
01:23:40,749 --> 01:23:42,012
however,
1440
01:23:45,954 --> 01:23:49,356
you cannot expect to
go beyond a certain point.
1441
01:23:56,198 --> 01:23:58,099
May I go now?
1442
01:23:59,134 --> 01:24:00,966
Go ahead.
1443
01:24:03,372 --> 01:24:05,432
Thank you.
1444
01:24:36,638 --> 01:24:38,334
Good night.
1445
01:25:04,700 --> 01:25:06,259
Hello?
1446
01:25:09,471 --> 01:25:12,031
No, you just missed him.
1447
01:25:15,577 --> 01:25:17,478
What's that?
1448
01:25:22,985 --> 01:25:24,920
I love you too.
1449
01:25:29,257 --> 01:25:31,089
Yeah.
1450
01:25:42,237 --> 01:25:45,469
♪ Enjoy the power and
beauty of your youth ♪
1451
01:25:45,507 --> 01:25:46,975
♪ Never mind ♪
1452
01:25:47,009 --> 01:25:49,520
♪ You will not understand the
power and beauty of your youth ♪
1453
01:25:49,544 --> 01:25:52,673
♪ Until they've
faded, but trust me ♪
1454
01:25:52,714 --> 01:25:55,809
♪ In 20 years you'll look
back at photos of yourself ♪
1455
01:25:55,851 --> 01:25:58,446
♪ And recall in a way
you can't grasp now ♪
1456
01:25:58,487 --> 01:26:00,979
♪ How much possibility
lay before you ♪
1457
01:26:01,023 --> 01:26:03,185
♪ And how fabulous
you really looked ♪
1458
01:26:03,225 --> 01:26:06,821
♪ You are not as
fat as you imagined ♪
1459
01:26:09,364 --> 01:26:11,492
♪ Don't worry about the future ♪
1460
01:26:11,533 --> 01:26:13,832
♪ Or worry that
know that worrying ♪
1461
01:26:13,869 --> 01:26:16,862
♪ Is as effective as trying to
solve an algebra equation ♪
1462
01:26:16,905 --> 01:26:19,465
♪ By chewing bubblegum ♪
1463
01:26:19,508 --> 01:26:21,500
♪ The real troubles
in your life ♪
1464
01:26:21,543 --> 01:26:24,741
♪ Are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind ♪
1465
01:26:24,780 --> 01:26:29,650
♪ The kind that blindsides you at
4:00pm on some idle Tuesday ♪
1466
01:26:29,685 --> 01:26:33,986
♪ Do one thing every
day that scares you ♪
1467
01:26:34,022 --> 01:26:35,285
♪ Sing ♪
1468
01:26:35,323 --> 01:26:37,724
♪ Don't be reckless with
other people's hearts ♪
1469
01:26:37,759 --> 01:26:41,787
♪ Don't put up with people
who are reckless with yours ♪
1470
01:26:41,830 --> 01:26:43,093
♪ Floss ♪
1471
01:26:43,131 --> 01:26:45,498
♪ Don't waste your
time on jealousy ♪
1472
01:26:45,534 --> 01:26:47,526
♪ Sometimes you're ahead, ♪
1473
01:26:47,569 --> 01:26:49,902
♪ Sometimes you're behind ♪
1474
01:26:49,938 --> 01:26:54,342
♪ The race is long and in
the end it's only with yourself ♪
1475
01:26:56,111 --> 01:26:58,842
♪ Remember
compliments you receive ♪
1476
01:26:58,880 --> 01:27:00,974
♪ Forget the insults ♪
1477
01:27:01,016 --> 01:27:04,180
♪ If you succeed in
doing this, tell me how ♪
1478
01:27:04,219 --> 01:27:09,021
♪ Keep your old love letters, throw
away your old bank statements ♪
1479
01:27:10,859 --> 01:27:12,088
♪ Stretch ♪
1480
01:27:12,127 --> 01:27:15,291
♪ Don't feel guilty if you don't know
what you want to do with your life ♪
1481
01:27:15,330 --> 01:27:19,028
♪ The most interesting people
I know didn't know at 22 ♪
1482
01:27:19,067 --> 01:27:21,059
♪ What they wanted
to do with their lives ♪
1483
01:27:21,103 --> 01:27:23,299
♪ Some of the most
interesting 40-year-olds I know ♪
1484
01:27:23,338 --> 01:27:25,204
♪ Still don't ♪
1485
01:27:25,240 --> 01:27:27,436
♪ Get plenty of calcium ♪
1486
01:27:27,476 --> 01:27:29,775
♪ Be kind to your knees ♪
1487
01:27:29,811 --> 01:27:32,337
♪ You'll miss them
when they're gone ♪
1488
01:27:32,380 --> 01:27:34,975
♪ Maybe you'll marry,
maybe you won't ♪
1489
01:27:35,016 --> 01:27:37,713
♪ Maybe you'll have
children, maybe you won't ♪
1490
01:27:37,753 --> 01:27:39,745
♪ Maybe you'll divorce at 40 ♪
1491
01:27:39,788 --> 01:27:43,657
♪ Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken
on your 75th wedding anniversary ♪
1492
01:27:43,692 --> 01:27:47,026
♪ Whatever you do, don't
congratulate yourself too much ♪
1493
01:27:47,062 --> 01:27:48,792
♪ Or berate yourself either ♪
1494
01:27:48,830 --> 01:27:51,390
♪ Your choices are half chance ♪
1495
01:27:51,433 --> 01:27:54,369
♪ So are everybody else's ♪
1496
01:27:54,402 --> 01:27:56,496
♪ Enjoy your body ♪
1497
01:27:56,538 --> 01:27:59,201
♪ Use it every way you
can don't be afraid of it, ♪
1498
01:27:59,241 --> 01:28:01,176
♪ Or what other
people think of it ♪
1499
01:28:01,209 --> 01:28:03,838
♪ It's the greatest
instrument you'll ever own ♪
1500
01:28:03,879 --> 01:28:05,370
♪ Dance ♪
1501
01:28:05,413 --> 01:28:08,440
♪ Even if you have nowhere to
do it but in your own living room ♪
1502
01:28:08,483 --> 01:28:11,351
♪ Read the directions, even
if you don't follow them ♪
1503
01:28:11,386 --> 01:28:13,412
♪ Do not read beauty magazines ♪
1504
01:28:13,455 --> 01:28:16,425
♪ They will only
make you feel ugly ♪
1505
01:28:22,798 --> 01:28:25,461
♪ Get to know your parents ♪
1506
01:28:25,500 --> 01:28:28,095
♪ You never know when
they'll be gone for good ♪
1507
01:28:28,136 --> 01:28:31,698
♪ Be nice to your siblings,
they're your best link to your past ♪
1508
01:28:31,740 --> 01:28:35,108
♪ And the people most likely
to stick with you in the future ♪
1509
01:28:38,513 --> 01:28:41,244
♪ Understand that
friends come and go ♪
1510
01:28:41,283 --> 01:28:44,276
♪ But with a precious
few, you should hold on ♪
1511
01:28:44,319 --> 01:28:48,279
♪ Work hard to bridge the
gaps in geography and lifestyle ♪
1512
01:28:48,323 --> 01:28:50,451
♪ Because the older you get ♪
1513
01:28:50,492 --> 01:28:53,724
♪ The more you need the people
that you knew when you were young ♪
1514
01:28:55,564 --> 01:29:00,127
♪ Live in New York City once,
but leave before it makes you hard ♪
1515
01:29:00,168 --> 01:29:05,129
♪ Live in Northern California once,
but leave before it makes you soft ♪
1516
01:29:05,173 --> 01:29:07,506
♪ Travel ♪
1517
01:29:07,542 --> 01:29:09,670
♪ Don't mess too
much with your hair ♪
1518
01:29:09,711 --> 01:29:12,840
♪ Or by the time
you're 40 it will look 85 ♪
1519
01:29:14,449 --> 01:29:17,214
♪ Be careful whose
advice you buy ♪
1520
01:29:17,252 --> 01:29:20,222
♪ But be patient with
those who supply it ♪
1521
01:29:20,255 --> 01:29:23,521
♪ Advice is a
form of nostalgia ♪
1522
01:29:23,558 --> 01:29:27,518
♪ Dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal ♪
1523
01:29:27,562 --> 01:29:31,090
♪ Wiping it off, painting
over the ugly parts ♪
1524
01:29:31,132 --> 01:29:35,194
♪ And recycling it for
more than it's worth ♪
1525
01:29:35,237 --> 01:29:38,696
♪ But trust me on
the sunscreen. ♪