1
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,658
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:43,944
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

3
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:46,133
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

4
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,888
Will they come?

5
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:18,025
They'll come.

6
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,394
Here. Stamp those
and mail them.

7
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,302
It's ringing.

8
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,971
Please walk Myron
over there.

9
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,574
My leg looks like
a tree in this fog.

10
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:13,246
What a godforsaken
spot to get lost.

11
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,215
We passed
a better spot.

12
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,786
(TELEPHONE RINGING)

13
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:29,997
Hello?

14
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,765
Hello?
Hello?

15
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,168
Tell them
we're lost.

16
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,004
(RINGING CONTINUES)

17
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,512
Nobody answered,
the phone went dead.

18
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:45,913
Then why did you
say hello?

19
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:48,248
Funny, I could
have sworn...
What, Dickie?

20
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:50,518
Sounded like somebody
snipped the wire.

21
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:53,086
Really?
What did it
sound like?

22
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:55,556
Snip.

23
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,531
WILLIE:
Some fog, eh, Pop?

24
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:07,334
WANG: I've heard
the weather report.
Drive, please.

25
00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:09,770
It's as thick
as pea soup.

26
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:12,239
Not a soul
around for miles.

27
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:15,275
Know what l think?
Perfect place for
a murder.

28
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:19,880
Conversation like
television set
on honeymoon.

29
00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:20,981
Unnecessary.

30
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,840
(DOOR CREAKING)

31
00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,552
WILLIE: Where are
we going?

32
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:01,221
Who is Mr. Twain?

33
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,123
What did he mean by
"Dinner and a murder"?

34
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:06,359
Questions like
athlete's foot.

35
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,597
After while,
very irritating.

36
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:12,065
(DOG BARKING)

37
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,433
To stop car,
please.

38
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,569
What's wrong?
Stop car, please.

39
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,004
(DOG HOWLING)

40
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,308
To shut engine
off, please.

41
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,111
Listen.

42
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,648
I don't hear nothing.
What do you hear?

43
00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:29,917
Double negative
and dog.

44
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,652
So what?

45
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,521
If not mistaken,

46
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:36,223
dog belong to
Mr. Dick Charleston.

47
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,591
Who is
Dick Charleston?

48
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:40,628
I am. Thank you.
Did you see
a little white...

49
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:43,831
Wang.
A white Wang?

50
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:45,933
Good heavens.
Sidney Wang.

51
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,835
What are you
doing here?

52
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,803
No doubt
same as you.

53
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:54,608
Looking for
bridge to home of
Mr. Lionel Twain.

54
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,143
You too, huh?

55
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,846
Must be important
to invite two such
eminent detectives.

56
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:02,783
Excuse, please.
To introduce
Japanese son, Willie.

57
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:03,917
Hi.

58
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,385
Japanese?
But I thought...

59
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:08,121
Mrs. Wang and I
never had children.

60
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,691
Willie adopted
number three son.

61
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:13,326
Be careful
on this road.
It's treacherous.

62
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,996
Treacherous road
like fresh mushroom...

63
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,265
Idiot.

64
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,534
Not finish
mushroom story.

65
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,069
You're idiot.

66
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:23,671
(SCOFFS)

67
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,979
I'm sorry,
Monsieur Perrier,
but I can see nothing.

68
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,081
This fog is thick
as bouillabaisse.

69
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,182
Nuts.

70
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,284
Pardon?
Nuts. Nuts.

71
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,720
No nuts
in my chocolate.

72
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:43,490
You got raisins.
I asked for nuts.

73
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,492
He didn't have
any nuts.

74
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,195
The man
in the shop?

75
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,197
That's why
I took raisins.

76
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,833
Never mind.

77
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,569
We will soon
be there for dinner.
Hot soup.

78
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,037
Still, monsieur,

79
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,072
something is
not right here.

80
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,141
I can feel it
in my bones.

81
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,543
In your what?

82
00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,012
In my bones.

83
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:08,348
Buns?
You have buns?

84
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,751
You bought buns
and didn't tell me?

85
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,620
Where are they?

86
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:15,856
No, monsieur.
The bones in my body.

87
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:18,726
Don't speak
with an accent
when I'm hungry.

88
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,605
Sam,
this is useless.

89
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:33,006
Nobody asked
you, baby.

90
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:36,810
Yes, they did.
You asked me
back there if...

91
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,846
That was then,
this is now,

92
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,448
and nobody knows
what tomorrow
will be.

93
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:44,818
That's the way
things are.

94
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:47,955
Sam, I really
worry about you
sometimes.

95
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,522
All right.
Cut the malarkey.

96
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,792
This trip is strictly
business with me.

97
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:53,627
What do you got
on this Twain guy?

98
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,096
He was born
in San Francisco
in 1906.

99
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:59,399
Mother was a Roman Catholic.
Father was an orthodox Jew.

100
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,802
The marriage
lasted two hours.

101
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,403
Any children?

102
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:07,340
One daughter, 32,
Irene, who calls
herself Rita.

103
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,376
Just like a dame.

104
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,511
Don't stop.
You're doing fine.

105
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:15,916
Arrested in 1932 for
selling pornographic Bibles.

106
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,517
Charges were dropped

107
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,987
when the Church
refused to turn
over the Bibles.

108
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:24,591
In '46,
he was picked up
in El Paso, Texas,

109
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:27,895
for smuggling a truckload
of rich white Americans

110
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:31,098
into Mexico
to pick melons.

111
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:34,634
He was sent
to the Dallas State Hospital
for mental observation.

112
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:37,604
We've picked ourselves
a queer bird.

113
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,106
Anything else?

114
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,241
Oh, yeah.
Get this, Sam.

115
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,544
Lionel Twain has one
interesting physical
characteristic.

116
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,279
He has no pinkies.

117
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,316
No pinkies?

118
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,351
He only has
eight fingers?

119
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:55,522
No, 10.
He just doesn't
have any pinkies.

120
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:57,590
Good work,
angel.

121
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,327
Thanks, Sam.
Where'd you
dig up that stuff?

122
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,929
I wrote to Twain
and asked him.

123
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,496
Good thinking.

124
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,366
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

125
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,101
What's the matter?

126
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,370
Wouldn't you know?
Out of gas.

127
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:15,809
I saw a station
about 5 miles back, Sam.

128
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:20,080
I want you to know
I'll be waiting
for you.

129
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:36,129
WILLIE:
The bridge
doesn't look safe.

130
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,931
One way to find out.

131
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,666
Drive across.

132
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,069
Aren't you
coming with me?

133
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,338
Weight of two men
may be too much.

134
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,107
Why do I
have to drive?

135
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:50,377
(BRIDGE CREAKING)
Because I smart enough
to get out first.

136
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,424
(CREAKING CONTINUES)

137
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,062
It's going to
collapse, Pop.

138
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:12,565
Not worry.
Father find other
way to house.

139
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:27,080
I made it, Pop.
I made it.

140
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:31,418
Good. Now come
back and get
adopted father.

141
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,156
Look at invitation.

142
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:37,690
What number of house?

143
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,392
Two, two...

144
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,694
Correct.
22, Twain's house.

145
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,030
Continue.

146
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,991
Did you see that?
No.

147
00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:12,359
Neither did I.

148
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,902
Stop.
Do not move.

149
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,704
Something's
wrong here.

150
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:27,007
What is it, Pop?
Do not ask
questions.

151
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:28,208
Do as I say.

152
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,944
When I tell you jump,
you jump.

153
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,012
Five,

154
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:34,381
four, three, two...

155
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:38,651
Holy Shanghai!

156
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,990
Nice counting, Pop.
How did you know?

157
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,591
Look on ground.

158
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:49,863
Ha! Even had
correct shoe size.

159
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,564
Someone gone
great trouble

160
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:54,334
to make welcome guest
not so welcome.

161
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,905
Ring bell, please.

162
00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:00,307
Are you nuts, Pop?
Someone's trying
to kill us.

163
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:03,710
Yes. Should make
exciting weekend.

164
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,512
Ring, please.

165
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:07,714
I wish it was
Monday morning.

166
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,684
Well, here goes.

167
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,987
(WOMAN SCREAMING)

168
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:16,556
Holy cow.
They're killing someone.

169
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,858
Calm yourself.
Didn't you
hear her scream?

170
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:21,328
No.
You heard scream.

171
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:24,431
More experienced ear
heard doorbell.

172
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,966
Listen again.

173
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,635
(WOMAN SCREAMING)

174
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:34,807
Mr. Twain has macabre
sense of humor, yes?

175
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,744
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

176
00:14:57,697 --> 00:15:00,567
Good evening.
We have been
expecting you.

177
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,269
But in what condition?

178
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:05,572
Roof in need
of repair.

179
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,241
I'm afraid the house
is falling apart.

180
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:11,811
May we come in,
please?

181
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:14,781
I'm so sorry.
I thought you were in.

182
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:17,784
You are Mr. and
Mrs. Charleston?

183
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:19,852
Not quite.

184
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,490
I am Inspector Wang
of Catalina police.

185
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,525
This adopted son,
Willie.

186
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,796
I trust you had
a pleasant journey.

187
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:47,014
Strange weather.
Storm only outside,

188
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,616
wind inside.

189
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:52,552
That's just
one of Mr. Twain's
little toys,

190
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,454
an electronic device.

191
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:57,124
Mr. Twain, as you
will soon discover,

192
00:15:57,190 --> 00:16:00,293
prefers his
atmosphere murky.

193
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,095
May I have
your bags, sir?

194
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:04,864
No. Son
will get bags.

195
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:06,833
That is why
I adopted him.

196
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,068
Very good, sir.

197
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:09,769
One moment, please,

198
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,704
while I close the door.

199
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:19,012
Now,
I will show you
to your room.

200
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,692
Very large house.

201
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:33,993
No other servants?

202
00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:36,563
I'm not sure.
I've never seen
anyone.

203
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:44,537
Mr. Twain asked me to
make you comfortable.

204
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:47,207
He will be joining
you after dinner.

205
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:48,708
After dinner?

206
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:51,178
Host not have dinner
with guests?

207
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,847
No. Mr. Twain
prefers to eat out.

208
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,227
(BARKING)

209
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,364
Wait, please.
What that?

210
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,466
It's nothing, sir.
Just the cat.

211
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,602
(BARKING CONTINUES)

212
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,537
That cat?

213
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:20,373
You feed cat
dog food?

214
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,042
He's a very angry cat.

215
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,578
Mr. Twain
had him fixed,

216
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,046
and he didn't
want to be.

217
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:28,348
(GROWLS)

218
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,818
Big house,
huh, Pop?

219
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,854
Big house
like man married
to fat woman.

220
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:36,989
Hard to
get around.

221
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,458
Here we are.

222
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,828
I'm sure you'll
find this suitable.

223
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,263
Boy, it's
a cold house.

224
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,064
I've taken care
of that, sir.

225
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:47,934
You'll find
a nice, cozy fire
in your room, sir.

226
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,655
It's a bit smoky, sir.

227
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:12,325
That fireplace hasn't
been used in years.

228
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,161
At least
the bed is warm.

229
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:17,164
If you wish
anything, sir,
please ring.

230
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,698
Where buzzer?

231
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:22,001
It's behind
the bed, sir. There.

232
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,670
Dinner will
be at 9:00,

233
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:26,539
and Mr. Twain
likes his guests
to dress.

234
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,609
(WOMAN SCREAMING)

235
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,611
The doorbell.
Excuse me.

236
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,284
Wow. What a creepy guy.

237
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,552
Why would anyone
hire a blind butler?

238
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,054
For one thing,
very cheap.

239
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,624
How butler know
how much he get paid?

240
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:51,164
Drink this.
You'll feel better.

241
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,632
If Myron
hadn't barked,

242
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:54,801
we wouldn't have
seen that statue falling.

243
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,804
It wasn't meant to kill.
It's a warning.

244
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,472
Somebody's just
trying to frighten us,
but why?

245
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:02,041
He's doing
a wonderful job.

246
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:03,810
Why hasn't
anybody answered?

247
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:06,513
Don't ring it
again, Dickie.
Knock, don't ring.

248
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,315
I won't. I promise.

249
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,082
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

250
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:14,454
(GROWLING)

251
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,424
What is it now,
Myron?

252
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,259
Up there, Dora.
Look.

253
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,961
A blind butler.

254
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:24,431
Don't let him
park the car,
Dickie.

255
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:34,507
Good evening.
We have been
expecting you.

256
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,309
We let
ourselves in.

257
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,644
Dick and
Dora Charleston.

258
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:40,413
Good evening.
We have been
expecting you.

259
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,350
Your room is ready.

260
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,151
Just follow me, please.

261
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:47,086
(GROWLS)

262
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:49,689
Never mind, ma'am.
It's just the cat.

263
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,495
Our luggage
is outside.

264
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,565
I'll get it
when I park the car.

265
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:05,004
Is Mr. Wang here?
Yes.

266
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,073
They're resting
in their room.

267
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:10,843
I put you
in the same wing
as Mr. Wang.

268
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:13,513
Isn't that nice?
We're in Wang's wing.

269
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:25,091
Not many people come
to the manor these days.

270
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:27,860
It's nice to
hear guests again.

271
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,496
Thank you.
You are?
Bensonmum.

272
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,663
Thank you,
Benson.

273
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:34,367
No. My name
is Bensonmum.

274
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,102
Bensonmum?
Yes, sir.

275
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:37,970
Jamesir Bensonmum.

276
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:39,306
Jamesir?

277
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,441
Yes, sir.
Jamesir
Bensonmum?

278
00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:43,175
Yes, sir.
How odd.

279
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,245
My father's
name, sir.
What?

280
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,515
Howard Bensonmum.

281
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,082
Your father was
Howard Bensonmum?

282
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,684
Leave it be,
Dickie.

283
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:55,288
Here is the late
Mrs. Twain's room.

284
00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:57,357
She died in here.

285
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,458
Oh, dear.

286
00:20:58,525 --> 00:20:59,826
Died of what?

287
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:02,462
She murdered herself
in her sleep, sir.

288
00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:03,763
You mean suicide?

289
00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:07,066
No, it was murder
all right.

290
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:10,036
Mrs. Twain hated herself.

291
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,672
We keep this room locked.

292
00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:13,740
Why is that?

293
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:16,309
Mr. Twain loved her
very much.

294
00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:18,244
He's kept her room
just as it was

295
00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:20,980
the night
she choked herself,

296
00:21:21,047 --> 00:21:22,582
nine years ago.

297
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,418
(DOOR CREAKING)

298
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,494
Madam loved
it here.

299
00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:37,063
She said
it was such
a cheerful room.

300
00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:40,933
(MOUSE SQUEAKING)

301
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,402
(SCREAMING)

302
00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:43,770
Ah, the doorbell.

303
00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:45,438
That was
Mrs. Charleston.

304
00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:47,306
I thought
she was here.

305
00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:50,810
I won't stay
in this filthy room.

306
00:21:50,877 --> 00:21:54,814
Very well, madam.
I'll attend to it
during dinner.

307
00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:56,983
Thank you,
Bensonsir.
Mum.

308
00:21:57,049 --> 00:21:59,486
What?
Bensonmum.

309
00:21:59,552 --> 00:22:00,720
Ma'am.

310
00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:09,261
Baking flour.
What?

311
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,498
This dust
is baking flour.

312
00:22:11,564 --> 00:22:14,100
These cobwebs are
candied sugar.

313
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:17,470
All placed here
just to frighten us.

314
00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:20,573
And that mouse is
obviously a mechanical toy.

315
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:24,677
(CHUCKLES)

316
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:26,679
Silly.
What?

317
00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:27,880
I am.

318
00:22:28,815 --> 00:22:29,816
It's real.

319
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:30,983
(SCREAMS)

320
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:32,685
(MOUSE SQUEAKING)

321
00:22:35,622 --> 00:22:38,257
PERRIER: Stop.
We are here.

322
00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:40,660
That's why
I stopped the car.
Open my door.

323
00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:42,495
There is chocolate
all over your face.
What?

324
00:22:42,562 --> 00:22:44,163
The candy bar.
It is all over your face.

325
00:22:44,230 --> 00:22:46,232
Fool. That's
my mustache.

326
00:22:46,298 --> 00:22:47,900
Lick it and see.

327
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:54,006
Wipe it off.
My hands are sticky.

328
00:22:57,810 --> 00:22:59,612
Hold still,
please.

329
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:01,781
Sloppy.

330
00:23:06,185 --> 00:23:08,154
(WOMAN SCREAMING)

331
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,889
All in good time.

332
00:23:09,956 --> 00:23:11,624
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

333
00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:17,864
Yes.

334
00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:20,700
Who's there?

335
00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:24,336
Who's there,
I say?

336
00:23:28,441 --> 00:23:30,209
Filthy neighborhood.

337
00:23:31,343 --> 00:23:32,579
Didn't l say "jump"?

338
00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:35,882
Un, deux, trois, jump.
Why don't you listen?

339
00:23:35,948 --> 00:23:37,650
Oh, leave me alone.

340
00:23:37,717 --> 00:23:39,285
Sloppy.

341
00:23:39,351 --> 00:23:41,020
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

342
00:23:54,801 --> 00:23:56,202
Who are you?

343
00:24:02,308 --> 00:24:06,245
Oh. You must be
the new kitchen maid.

344
00:24:06,312 --> 00:24:08,515
I hope you can cook.

345
00:24:08,581 --> 00:24:10,517
Hmm?
Answer me.

346
00:24:11,317 --> 00:24:12,585
Speak up.

347
00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:19,692
What's that?
I can't hear you.

348
00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:21,928
A little shy,
are you?

349
00:24:21,994 --> 00:24:23,362
Never mind.

350
00:24:24,731 --> 00:24:26,833
There will be 10
for dinner.

351
00:24:29,569 --> 00:24:31,170
Here is the menu.

352
00:24:44,283 --> 00:24:45,952
Is that
understood?

353
00:24:46,018 --> 00:24:47,787
Dinner will
be at 9:00.

354
00:24:47,854 --> 00:24:49,055
When I want you,

355
00:24:49,121 --> 00:24:52,124
that bell will ring
three times.

356
00:24:52,191 --> 00:24:54,060
All right.
Get to work.

357
00:25:01,768 --> 00:25:03,235
Hello?

358
00:25:03,302 --> 00:25:05,538
Hello, hello?
Operator?

359
00:25:05,605 --> 00:25:07,640
I am saying
hello, hello.

360
00:25:07,707 --> 00:25:09,141
It's dead, sir.

361
00:25:09,208 --> 00:25:11,978
What? Who is?
Who are you?

362
00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:13,713
The butler, sir.

363
00:25:13,780 --> 00:25:17,183
The butler, eh?
I thought as much.

364
00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:21,120
That phone has not
worked for a week, sir.

365
00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:22,955
Is that a fact?

366
00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,891
And I say
that this wire

367
00:25:24,957 --> 00:25:26,926
has been snipped,
not one hour ago.

368
00:25:26,993 --> 00:25:28,527
As you can see.

369
00:25:29,896 --> 00:25:31,097
What is your name?

370
00:25:31,163 --> 00:25:32,498
Bensonmum.

371
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:36,703
Your little jest
escapes me.

372
00:25:36,769 --> 00:25:39,238
I am
Monsieur Milo Perrier.

373
00:25:39,305 --> 00:25:41,473
My chauffeur was injured
by a falling gargoyle

374
00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:44,510
while standing outside
in Chinese footprints.

375
00:25:44,577 --> 00:25:46,746
We rang the bell,
a woman screamed,

376
00:25:46,813 --> 00:25:49,215
a mouse ran out
through the door.

377
00:25:49,281 --> 00:25:50,950
As you can plainly see,

378
00:25:51,017 --> 00:25:52,551
I miss nothing.

379
00:25:52,619 --> 00:25:54,320
Since we cannot
call for a doctor,

380
00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:56,689
I need a cold compress
for my chauffeur

381
00:25:56,756 --> 00:25:59,025
and some hot chocolate
for me, n'est-ce pas?

382
00:25:59,091 --> 00:26:01,828
We don't have Nespa,
sir, just Hershey's.

383
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,296
I'll call the maid.

384
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,068
(RINGING)

385
00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:12,504
(RINGING CONTINUES)

386
00:26:17,610 --> 00:26:20,613
I'll fetch it
for you myself, sir.

387
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:21,814
In the meantime,

388
00:26:21,881 --> 00:26:23,783
I'll show you
your room.

389
00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:28,220
Get up.
Get up.

390
00:26:28,287 --> 00:26:31,090
I do not trust
this butler.

391
00:26:31,157 --> 00:26:34,426
Notice how his eyes
never look at you.

392
00:26:34,493 --> 00:26:36,328
He's blind, monsieur.

393
00:26:38,297 --> 00:26:39,565
Nonsense.

394
00:26:44,837 --> 00:26:46,673
SAM:
There's the house now.

395
00:26:46,739 --> 00:26:48,107
(GROANS)

396
00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:51,043
What's the matter?
My feet are
killing me.

397
00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:55,181
Why didn't you
say we needed oil
before I got the gas?

398
00:26:55,247 --> 00:26:57,016
Because I gave you
a $50 bill

399
00:26:57,083 --> 00:26:58,685
and the gas was
only five bucks.

400
00:26:58,751 --> 00:27:00,286
Maybe you'd come back,
maybe you wouldn't.

401
00:27:00,352 --> 00:27:02,454
I couldn't take
that chance, angel.

402
00:27:02,521 --> 00:27:04,223
Don't you trust me, Sam?

403
00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:05,457
Trust you?

404
00:27:05,524 --> 00:27:07,326
The last time
I trusted a dame

405
00:27:07,393 --> 00:27:09,696
was in Paris in 1940.

406
00:27:09,762 --> 00:27:12,331
She went out
to get some wine.

407
00:27:12,398 --> 00:27:15,735
Two hours later,
the Germans marched
into France.

408
00:27:15,802 --> 00:27:17,636
I'm sorry, Sam.

409
00:27:17,704 --> 00:27:20,106
Sorry, nothing.
Give me my change.

410
00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:29,015
Dinner is
at 9:00, sir.

411
00:27:29,081 --> 00:27:31,217
I'll have the maid
bring your chocolate.

412
00:27:31,283 --> 00:27:33,252
One moment,
my good man.

413
00:27:33,319 --> 00:27:34,386
Sir?

414
00:27:49,902 --> 00:27:52,004
Thank you.
That will be all.

415
00:27:55,141 --> 00:27:56,608
He's blind
all right.

416
00:27:56,675 --> 00:27:58,811
Those were
my funniest faces.

417
00:28:10,923 --> 00:28:12,992
Not exactly
the Copacabana.

418
00:28:13,059 --> 00:28:15,061
I don't feel good
about this.

419
00:28:15,127 --> 00:28:17,629
Maybe tonight's
the night
your luck ends.

420
00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:19,431
Maybe so.

421
00:28:19,498 --> 00:28:21,600
There's a number
on the wall for
all of us, angel.

422
00:28:21,667 --> 00:28:24,737
If tonight's the night
they pick mine,
so be it.

423
00:28:26,172 --> 00:28:27,974
After you,
sweetheart.

424
00:28:29,909 --> 00:28:31,510
First kiss me,
Sam.

425
00:28:31,577 --> 00:28:32,979
I don't kiss.

426
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:34,646
Just this once,
Sam.

427
00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:37,449
I don't like kissing.
Now leave me alone.

428
00:28:43,756 --> 00:28:45,424
(WOMAN SCREAMING)

429
00:28:50,162 --> 00:28:53,099
My God.
He's dead.

430
00:28:53,165 --> 00:28:54,700
I beg your pardon.

431
00:28:54,767 --> 00:28:58,070
Sam Diamond is
lying out there,
crushed to death.

432
00:28:59,271 --> 00:29:01,607
I'm going to faint.
You catch me.

433
00:29:02,374 --> 00:29:04,010
Madam.

434
00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:06,312
Madam,
where are you?

435
00:29:06,378 --> 00:29:08,781
All right.
Hold it right there.
Freeze, blinky.

436
00:29:08,848 --> 00:29:11,183
Get your hands up.
Face the wall.

437
00:29:17,256 --> 00:29:19,425
Angel, you can
get up now.

438
00:29:19,491 --> 00:29:21,227
Turn around,
Jeeves.

439
00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:27,900
Your concrete Christmas
present arrived about
two seconds early,

440
00:29:27,967 --> 00:29:29,235
no thanks to you.

441
00:29:29,301 --> 00:29:32,271
I apologize for
any unfortunate
mishap, sir.

442
00:29:32,338 --> 00:29:34,040
May I put
my hands down?

443
00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:36,675
Don't test your luck,
Shakespeare.

444
00:29:36,742 --> 00:29:39,611
I got your little
invitation to dinner.

445
00:29:39,678 --> 00:29:42,681
I didn't realize
I was the main course.

446
00:29:45,584 --> 00:29:50,189
I had a kid brother
who got it the same way
two years ago.

447
00:29:51,523 --> 00:29:54,460
That boy would have
been 63 on Tuesday.

448
00:29:55,694 --> 00:29:57,363
For two cents,
I'd take this...
Sam, no.

449
00:29:57,429 --> 00:29:59,265
Get him away from me.

450
00:29:59,798 --> 00:30:01,700
Get him away.

451
00:30:01,767 --> 00:30:03,802
Get him away
before I stuff him

452
00:30:03,870 --> 00:30:05,371
like those tiger trophies

453
00:30:05,437 --> 00:30:08,574
his limey pals hang up
on saloon walls.

454
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:09,842
Please.

455
00:30:12,544 --> 00:30:14,881
He has a dreadful temper,
hasn't he?

456
00:30:14,947 --> 00:30:16,482
(CLOCK CHIMING)

457
00:30:29,461 --> 00:30:31,797
9:00. Time
for dinner.

458
00:30:32,731 --> 00:30:35,267
Is everything
ready? Hmm?

459
00:30:36,268 --> 00:30:37,769
(SNIFFING)

460
00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:39,205
I don't
smell anything.

461
00:30:39,271 --> 00:30:41,573
Very light on
the seasoning,
are you?

462
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:45,344
Put the soup
in the tureen and
keep the squabs on low.

463
00:30:45,411 --> 00:30:47,213
I'll serve cocktails.

464
00:30:48,547 --> 00:30:50,416
When you hear
the bell,

465
00:30:51,617 --> 00:30:53,352
bring out
the chilled asparagus

466
00:30:53,419 --> 00:30:55,854
and turn up
the flame
on the squabs.

467
00:30:58,457 --> 00:31:00,126
Have you got that?

468
00:31:15,807 --> 00:31:17,476
You didn't tell me
how l look, Dickie.

469
00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:21,080
No different than always,
absolutely ravishing.

470
00:31:21,147 --> 00:31:22,982
Do you love
and adore me?

471
00:31:23,049 --> 00:31:25,417
I love and adore you.

472
00:31:25,484 --> 00:31:27,519
You still have
a great tush.

473
00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:29,888
Years of
horseback riding,
darling.

474
00:31:29,956 --> 00:31:32,424
Getting to
bottom of things?

475
00:31:32,491 --> 00:31:34,927
Ah, Wang.
Darling, you remember...
Of course.

476
00:31:34,994 --> 00:31:36,395
Nice to see you,
Ah Wang.

477
00:31:36,462 --> 00:31:38,464
Always a pleasure,
Mrs. Charleston.

478
00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:40,266
What a beautiful gown.

479
00:31:40,332 --> 00:31:41,767
Where did you get it?

480
00:31:41,833 --> 00:31:44,436
This an old dress.

481
00:31:44,503 --> 00:31:46,105
Had it for years.

482
00:31:47,439 --> 00:31:50,342
Please to meet
adopted son, Willie.

483
00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:52,011
Ah, East meets West

484
00:31:52,078 --> 00:31:53,679
in a most
bizarre setting.

485
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:55,014
Perrier.
Charleston.

486
00:31:55,081 --> 00:31:56,548
I didn't know
you were invited.

487
00:31:56,615 --> 00:31:58,150
You know Wang.
Ah, yes.

488
00:31:58,217 --> 00:32:02,154
I dined in Shanghai long ago
with Inspector Wang.

489
00:32:03,022 --> 00:32:05,824
(SPEAKING FAKE CHINESE)

490
00:32:05,891 --> 00:32:07,893
Oh, you remember.
Yes.

491
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,728
You had
hong ching chu,

492
00:32:09,795 --> 00:32:13,032
and I had
cow dung wu fong.

493
00:32:13,099 --> 00:32:15,367
My wife Dora,
Inspector Perrier.

494
00:32:15,434 --> 00:32:16,935
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

495
00:32:17,703 --> 00:32:18,904
(COUGHING)

496
00:32:18,971 --> 00:32:21,207
I'm sorry.
Our room is so dusty.

497
00:32:21,273 --> 00:32:23,942
My fault.
I should have
blown first.

498
00:32:24,010 --> 00:32:28,080
May I present my
secretaire-chauffeur,
Marcel Cassette?

499
00:32:28,147 --> 00:32:30,882
Recovered from
your accident, Marcel?

500
00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:32,484
(RESPONDS IN FRENCH)

501
00:32:32,551 --> 00:32:34,086
How did you know?

502
00:32:34,153 --> 00:32:35,687
From the way you bend.

503
00:32:35,754 --> 00:32:37,256
Your right side
was smashed in

504
00:32:37,323 --> 00:32:39,158
by a Citroen,
I imagine.

505
00:32:39,225 --> 00:32:41,527
I heard
a metallic sound,

506
00:32:41,593 --> 00:32:44,096
so l think
you have an artificial hip.

507
00:32:44,163 --> 00:32:46,098
Steel?
Aluminum.

508
00:32:46,165 --> 00:32:48,700
You're still quick,
Charleston.

509
00:32:48,767 --> 00:32:51,303
And you,
Mr. Charleston,
did not approve

510
00:32:51,370 --> 00:32:54,340
of Mrs. Charleston
dyeing hair blonde?

511
00:32:54,406 --> 00:32:56,575
I beg your pardon?

512
00:32:56,642 --> 00:32:59,478
Mrs. Charleston
hair red.

513
00:32:59,545 --> 00:33:03,382
You have blonde
hairs on shoulder.

514
00:33:03,449 --> 00:33:07,086
That means she
has dyed red hair
to blonde

515
00:33:07,153 --> 00:33:08,787
and back again
to red,

516
00:33:08,854 --> 00:33:10,756
or else
you have been...

517
00:33:12,124 --> 00:33:15,561
Ah, so sorry.
Wang is, ah,
wrong.

518
00:33:16,295 --> 00:33:18,030
Shall we go
eat now?

519
00:33:25,237 --> 00:33:26,305
Boy, Pop.
You sure put your...

520
00:33:26,372 --> 00:33:28,107
Shut Japanese mouth.

521
00:33:29,608 --> 00:33:32,311
Must be ghastly
to have a hip removed.

522
00:33:32,378 --> 00:33:33,379
Does your hip hurt?

523
00:33:33,445 --> 00:33:35,181
Only in damp weather.

524
00:33:35,247 --> 00:33:36,248
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

525
00:33:36,315 --> 00:33:37,383
(SCREAMS IN PAIN)

526
00:33:42,488 --> 00:33:43,689
Are you all right?

527
00:33:43,755 --> 00:33:46,358
Pay no attention.
You'll only
spoil him.

528
00:33:47,559 --> 00:33:49,061
Get up.
Get up.

529
00:33:50,996 --> 00:33:52,064
(METALLIC CLINKING)

530
00:33:52,131 --> 00:33:53,865
As I was saying...

531
00:33:53,932 --> 00:33:55,201
Hey, Pop.

532
00:33:56,802 --> 00:33:58,637
A treacherous road
like fresh mush...

533
00:33:58,704 --> 00:34:00,306
Hey, Pop.

534
00:34:00,372 --> 00:34:04,410
I know.
Dog stick tongue
out of picture.

535
00:34:04,476 --> 00:34:07,079
Treacherous road
like fresh mushroom...

536
00:34:12,584 --> 00:34:14,120
He's a charming fellow.

537
00:34:14,186 --> 00:34:17,256
African death mask.
Died in some tribal ritual.

538
00:34:17,323 --> 00:34:19,558
Wonder where others are.

539
00:34:19,625 --> 00:34:20,959
Others?

540
00:34:22,027 --> 00:34:23,662
What others?

541
00:34:23,729 --> 00:34:25,897
Invitation to
dinner and murder

542
00:34:25,964 --> 00:34:27,966
finally clear to Wang

543
00:34:28,033 --> 00:34:30,369
with appearance
of Monsieur Perrier.

544
00:34:30,436 --> 00:34:34,840
Only the world's
greatest living detectives
were invited.

545
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:37,743
Five of us, darling.
Three already here.

546
00:34:37,809 --> 00:34:39,678
Two have not
yet arrived.

547
00:34:39,745 --> 00:34:42,448
Miss Jessie Marbles
of England, and Mr...

548
00:34:42,514 --> 00:34:44,683
Sam Diamond
of San Francisco.

549
00:34:45,551 --> 00:34:47,586
I know
who you all are.

550
00:34:47,653 --> 00:34:50,689
This lady here
in the rented dress is
my secretary and mistress,

551
00:34:50,756 --> 00:34:52,224
Miss Tess Skeffington.

552
00:34:52,291 --> 00:34:53,692
Oh, Sam, don't...

553
00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:55,794
Oh, I'm sorry,
sweetheart.

554
00:34:55,861 --> 00:34:59,064
Miss Skeffington
thinks I'm too
brutally honest.

555
00:34:59,131 --> 00:35:01,967
But then,
we're in a brutal business.

556
00:35:02,033 --> 00:35:06,838
Never consider murder
to be business,
Mr. Diamond.

557
00:35:06,905 --> 00:35:08,974
Is that right?

558
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:10,909
Maybe not for you,
Mr. Wang,

559
00:35:10,976 --> 00:35:14,746
because you put your
money into vegetables
in the late '30s.

560
00:35:14,813 --> 00:35:19,751
You own 50%
of the bean sprouts
and bamboo shoots

561
00:35:19,818 --> 00:35:22,454
grown on
the Chinese mainland.

562
00:35:22,521 --> 00:35:23,922
So you folks
can imagine

563
00:35:23,989 --> 00:35:27,959
how much
chicken chow mein
Mr. Wang has.

564
00:35:28,026 --> 00:35:30,429
Am I right,
angel?
Right.

565
00:35:30,496 --> 00:35:33,199
That doesn't
seem important.

566
00:35:33,265 --> 00:35:35,000
Or you,
Mr. Perrier.

567
00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:39,205
You work both sides
of the big drink.

568
00:35:39,271 --> 00:35:42,541
You solve crimes
for barons and earls

569
00:35:42,608 --> 00:35:46,011
and put your fancy fees
into Swiss banks.

570
00:35:46,077 --> 00:35:48,747
That buys a lot
of hot chocolate.

571
00:35:48,814 --> 00:35:50,182
Now see here,
Diamond.

572
00:35:50,249 --> 00:35:53,151
No, you see,
Mr. Charleston
of New York,

573
00:35:53,219 --> 00:35:55,954
Palm Beach and
Beverly Hills.

574
00:35:56,021 --> 00:35:58,624
Crime is
a hobby to you,

575
00:35:58,690 --> 00:36:01,260
just a game to pass
the time while waiting

576
00:36:01,327 --> 00:36:03,662
for room service
in some fancy hotel.

577
00:36:03,729 --> 00:36:08,234
Your wife's dough
buys you gin martinis
and $300 suits.

578
00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:12,604
All you do is give your wife
a little grab now and then

579
00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:14,840
and walk the dog.

580
00:36:15,741 --> 00:36:17,008
Sorry if I'm
shocking you,

581
00:36:17,075 --> 00:36:19,978
but I never went
to finishing school.

582
00:36:20,045 --> 00:36:21,347
My school
is the streets,

583
00:36:21,413 --> 00:36:24,850
and a pointed revolver
is my teacher.

584
00:36:24,916 --> 00:36:29,455
I get $50 a day
and expenses.

585
00:36:29,521 --> 00:36:32,224
I owe Miss Skeffington
three years' back pay.

586
00:36:32,291 --> 00:36:33,492
Isn't that right,
angel?

587
00:36:33,559 --> 00:36:35,761
I don't care,
Sam.

588
00:36:35,827 --> 00:36:37,296
Neither do I.

589
00:36:37,363 --> 00:36:40,332
Would someone give
my lady friend

590
00:36:40,399 --> 00:36:42,534
a glass of
cheap white wine?

591
00:36:42,601 --> 00:36:45,304
I'm going
to find the can.

592
00:36:45,371 --> 00:36:48,106
I talk so much sometimes,
I forget to go.

593
00:36:51,076 --> 00:36:52,911
Please excuse Sam.

594
00:36:52,978 --> 00:36:54,580
He was shot in the head
last week.

595
00:36:54,646 --> 00:36:57,283
He shouldn't be
out of the hospital.

596
00:36:57,349 --> 00:36:59,551
I think the fellow is
damned honest.

597
00:36:59,618 --> 00:37:00,819
DORA:
Dickie, language.

598
00:37:00,886 --> 00:37:04,089
Miss Jessica Marbles
and nurse.

599
00:37:12,764 --> 00:37:14,466
Ah, Miss Marbles.

600
00:37:14,533 --> 00:37:17,168
So we
finally meet.

601
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:21,807
Have admire you
since I was tiny
little detective.

602
00:37:21,873 --> 00:37:23,709
Thank you,
Mr. Wang.

603
00:37:23,775 --> 00:37:26,312
I am Jessica Marbles.

604
00:37:26,378 --> 00:37:29,481
This is
Miss Withers,
my nurse.

605
00:37:29,548 --> 00:37:31,783
She's been
with me 52 years.

606
00:37:31,850 --> 00:37:34,720
I must take
care of her now.

607
00:37:34,786 --> 00:37:37,456
Are you all right,
Miss Withers?

608
00:37:37,523 --> 00:37:39,224
Do you want
your medicine?

609
00:37:39,291 --> 00:37:40,326
No.

610
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:44,129
Ow!

611
00:37:48,934 --> 00:37:50,369
She's off.

612
00:37:50,436 --> 00:37:53,104
I could use
a stiff shot,
Mr. Charleston.

613
00:37:53,171 --> 00:37:56,675
I believe booze,
as you call it,
is your department.

614
00:37:56,742 --> 00:37:58,243
My pleasure,
madam.

615
00:37:58,310 --> 00:38:00,111
Who's
the old geezer?

616
00:38:00,679 --> 00:38:02,280
Sam!

617
00:38:02,348 --> 00:38:03,815
Jessie, baby.

618
00:38:03,882 --> 00:38:06,685
Sam Diamond!

619
00:38:06,752 --> 00:38:08,754
There's
a bullet hole
in your back.

620
00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:10,489
You should see
the other guy.

621
00:38:10,556 --> 00:38:12,524
(MAN GROANING)

622
00:38:12,591 --> 00:38:14,159
Quiet, please.

623
00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:17,128
Observe strange sound.

624
00:38:17,195 --> 00:38:19,665
(GROANING CONTINUES)

625
00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:23,935
My God,
it's the face.

626
00:38:24,002 --> 00:38:25,737
It's coming
from the face.

627
00:38:25,804 --> 00:38:27,406
(GROANING)

628
00:38:28,474 --> 00:38:31,009
He's going through
his dying moments.

629
00:38:31,076 --> 00:38:32,210
What could
it mean?

630
00:38:32,277 --> 00:38:35,246
Dinner, sir.
We have no gong.

631
00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:47,859
Ladies and gentlemen,
I propose a toast.

632
00:38:47,926 --> 00:38:52,431
Our host,
Mr. Lionel Twain,
is a unique man.

633
00:38:52,498 --> 00:38:57,302
Point one,
he has gathered the
world's greatest detectives

634
00:38:57,369 --> 00:39:00,606
to investigate a crime
that has not yet
been committed.

635
00:39:00,672 --> 00:39:03,675
Point two,
he has set traps for us,

636
00:39:03,742 --> 00:39:06,845
a bridge
that almost collapses,
falling statues.

637
00:39:06,912 --> 00:39:08,346
Does he mean
to kill us?

638
00:39:08,414 --> 00:39:10,949
Not yet.
He could've done
that at any time.

639
00:39:11,016 --> 00:39:13,218
He's merely
whetting our appetites

640
00:39:13,284 --> 00:39:15,186
for the rest of the game.

641
00:39:15,253 --> 00:39:19,658
Point three,
why five detectives
instead of one?

642
00:39:19,725 --> 00:39:22,761
Because he intends
to challenge us all,

643
00:39:22,828 --> 00:39:26,398
a feat no criminal mind
has heretofore attempted.

644
00:39:26,465 --> 00:39:29,735
Therefore, before this
hellish weekend begins,

645
00:39:29,801 --> 00:39:32,070
I propose
that we toast

646
00:39:32,137 --> 00:39:35,807
either a most beguiling
and charming man,

647
00:39:35,874 --> 00:39:39,044
or an insidious,
fiendish madman.

648
00:39:40,779 --> 00:39:42,213
Bottoms up.

649
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:43,615
One moment,
please.

650
00:39:44,550 --> 00:39:47,285
Point four,
wine poisoned.

651
00:39:47,352 --> 00:39:49,220
(ALL MUTTERING)

652
00:39:49,287 --> 00:39:51,490
An ancient,
tasteless, colorless

653
00:39:51,557 --> 00:39:53,959
and odorless Oriental herb

654
00:39:54,025 --> 00:39:55,727
that kills instantly.

655
00:39:55,794 --> 00:39:57,328
Observe, please.

656
00:40:00,165 --> 00:40:02,133
(ALL GASPING)

657
00:40:05,571 --> 00:40:08,674
Great Scott.
Mr. Wang, you've
saved our lives.

658
00:40:08,740 --> 00:40:10,776
Not quite,
Mrs. Charleston.

659
00:40:11,643 --> 00:40:13,445
Bon appetit.

660
00:40:13,512 --> 00:40:15,280
(ALL SCREAMING)

661
00:40:16,948 --> 00:40:20,051
Only Monsieur Wang
could detect
the poison,

662
00:40:20,118 --> 00:40:21,887
so only
he was tested.

663
00:40:21,953 --> 00:40:24,623
Point five,
Mr. Twain is both

664
00:40:24,690 --> 00:40:27,092
beguiling and fiendish.

665
00:40:28,460 --> 00:40:29,695
(GROANS)

666
00:40:30,261 --> 00:40:31,296
Oh!

667
00:40:31,362 --> 00:40:32,931
Oh, get a doctor,
quick.

668
00:40:32,998 --> 00:40:34,833
No,
it's all right.

669
00:40:34,900 --> 00:40:36,635
My wine is
not poisoned.

670
00:40:36,702 --> 00:40:38,570
It was just
a bad year.

671
00:40:39,505 --> 00:40:40,939
Good work, Mr. Wang.

672
00:40:41,006 --> 00:40:42,541
We must all
be on our guard

673
00:40:42,608 --> 00:40:45,276
through every course
of the meal.

674
00:40:45,343 --> 00:40:48,814
You're all
forgetting one thing.

675
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,782
This makes the butler
suspicious.

676
00:40:50,849 --> 00:40:52,651
He poured the wine.

677
00:40:52,718 --> 00:40:54,820
Except he is blind.

678
00:40:54,886 --> 00:40:57,288
How would he know
which one to serve
the poisoned glass to?

679
00:40:57,355 --> 00:40:58,990
That's very simple.

680
00:40:59,057 --> 00:41:01,993
Blind people have
a very keen sense
of smell.

681
00:41:02,994 --> 00:41:04,630
Since we're
Anglo-Saxon

682
00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:07,065
and Mr. Wang's son
is Japanese,

683
00:41:07,132 --> 00:41:09,501
it wouldn't be hard
to sniff out the Chinaman.

684
00:41:09,568 --> 00:41:12,070
CHARLESTON: See here.
That's a tacky thing
to say.

685
00:41:12,137 --> 00:41:14,840
It's a tacky world,
Mr. Charleston.

686
00:41:14,906 --> 00:41:16,007
Isn't that right,
angel?

687
00:41:16,074 --> 00:41:17,676
That's right, Sam.

688
00:41:17,743 --> 00:41:20,979
Quiet, please.
Butler approaches.

689
00:41:21,046 --> 00:41:22,981
I apologize
for the delay.

690
00:41:23,048 --> 00:41:26,417
I'm having
communication problems
with the cook.

691
00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:28,019
Who poured the wine?

692
00:41:28,086 --> 00:41:33,525
Mr. Twain, sir.
He left it in
the refrigerator.

693
00:41:33,592 --> 00:41:35,193
I was told
to give Mr. Wang

694
00:41:35,260 --> 00:41:37,596
the glass with
the sticky stem.

695
00:41:37,663 --> 00:41:39,464
And you didn't
ask why?

696
00:41:39,531 --> 00:41:42,233
I was lucky to find
the refrigerator, sir.

697
00:41:42,300 --> 00:41:44,302
I will serve
the soup now.

698
00:41:44,369 --> 00:41:45,871
PERRIER:
By all means.

699
00:41:49,107 --> 00:41:50,508
(INAUDIBLE)

700
00:41:52,578 --> 00:41:54,245
(INAUDIBLE)

701
00:41:56,715 --> 00:41:58,349
Yes,
I'm starving.

702
00:42:13,932 --> 00:42:16,935
One moment.
Where is the soup?

703
00:42:17,002 --> 00:42:18,737
In your dish, sir.

704
00:42:18,804 --> 00:42:21,439
There is nothing
in my dish
but my dish.

705
00:42:22,207 --> 00:42:24,175
I don't understand,
sir.

706
00:42:24,242 --> 00:42:27,212
Take the spoon.
Taste it yourself.

707
00:42:36,588 --> 00:42:38,624
I see what
you mean, sir.

708
00:42:38,690 --> 00:42:39,891
If you'll
excuse me,

709
00:42:39,958 --> 00:42:42,093
I need to talk
with the cook.

710
00:42:44,930 --> 00:42:46,497
Murder by starvation.

711
00:42:46,564 --> 00:42:48,366
Maybe that's his game.

712
00:42:49,901 --> 00:42:51,036
What do you think, Sam?

713
00:42:51,102 --> 00:42:55,273
Ask the moose.
He's been
watching us.

714
00:42:56,875 --> 00:42:59,510
(ALL MURMURING)

715
00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:01,246
Ten people for dinner,

716
00:43:01,312 --> 00:43:03,982
and I'm serving
hot nothing.

717
00:43:04,049 --> 00:43:06,284
You can't get
good help today.

718
00:43:12,691 --> 00:43:15,293
You're fired.
Do you understand?
Fired.

719
00:43:16,461 --> 00:43:18,830
I want you out.
Do you hear?

720
00:43:24,870 --> 00:43:26,337
And stay out.

721
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:30,776
Something just
occurred to me.

722
00:43:30,842 --> 00:43:32,077
The seating's all wrong.

723
00:43:32,143 --> 00:43:33,478
How so,
Mr. Charleston?

724
00:43:33,544 --> 00:43:35,180
I'm sitting
next to Dora.

725
00:43:35,246 --> 00:43:36,347
What's wrong with that?

726
00:43:36,414 --> 00:43:38,016
She's your wife,
isn't she?

727
00:43:38,083 --> 00:43:41,853
At a dinner party,
a husband and wife
shouldn't sit together.

728
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:43,889
I should be
on the opposite side
of the table.

729
00:43:43,955 --> 00:43:45,724
Mr. Wang,
please change places
with me.

730
00:43:45,791 --> 00:43:46,892
Now?

731
00:43:46,958 --> 00:43:48,026
Now.

732
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:51,697
(ALL SCREAMING)

733
00:43:51,763 --> 00:43:54,499
Just as I thought.
Another test that
almost killed us.

734
00:43:54,565 --> 00:43:57,836
Saved only because
I am enormously well-bred.

735
00:43:57,903 --> 00:44:00,806
Lucky it wasn't me.
I'd be chopped
liver now.

736
00:44:03,508 --> 00:44:05,844
(ALL CLAMORING)

737
00:44:05,911 --> 00:44:08,479
WANG:
Silence, please.
Do not panic.

738
00:44:08,546 --> 00:44:10,515
No person move
from place.

739
00:44:10,581 --> 00:44:13,685
CHARLESTON:
Someone just
came in.

740
00:44:13,752 --> 00:44:16,988
Quiet, everyone.
I smell something.

741
00:44:17,055 --> 00:44:18,589
MISS MARBLES:
What is it?

742
00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:21,659
Good God.
Franks and beans.

743
00:44:21,727 --> 00:44:24,395
I'm afraid that's
all we have, sir.

744
00:44:24,462 --> 00:44:27,132
DORA:
Dickie, don't
touch me there.

745
00:44:27,198 --> 00:44:29,600
CHARLESTON:
My hands are
in my pockets.

746
00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:31,169
SAM:
They're my pockets.

747
00:44:31,236 --> 00:44:32,237
CHARLESTON:
Sorry about that.

748
00:44:32,303 --> 00:44:34,205
DORA:
Dickie, behave yourself.

749
00:44:37,108 --> 00:44:39,510
TWAIN:
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

750
00:44:39,577 --> 00:44:41,679
I'm your host,
Lionel Twain.

751
00:44:57,228 --> 00:44:59,530
Good God.
What an entrance.

752
00:44:59,597 --> 00:45:02,367
A bit theatrical,
Miss Marbles,

753
00:45:02,433 --> 00:45:04,635
but I do
love illusion.

754
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:07,638
Please forgive my hat.
I'm losing my hair.

755
00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:11,309
I thought
Twain was older.
72, 73.

756
00:45:11,376 --> 00:45:14,980
Seventy-six to be exact,
Mr. Diamond.

757
00:45:15,046 --> 00:45:17,048
How do I
look so young?

758
00:45:17,115 --> 00:45:20,651
Quite simple.
A complete vegetable diet,

759
00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:22,487
Twelve hours sleep
a night

760
00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:25,523
and lots and lots of make-up.

761
00:45:25,590 --> 00:45:28,526
I trust you've all been
made comfortable.

762
00:45:28,593 --> 00:45:30,061
Comfortable,
Mr. Twain?

763
00:45:30,128 --> 00:45:33,932
Do you call poison,
a near decapitation,
comfortable?

764
00:45:33,999 --> 00:45:37,268
No, I call it
inspiration.

765
00:45:37,335 --> 00:45:39,137
You still
must explain

766
00:45:39,204 --> 00:45:42,307
the attempts
on our lives,
Monsieur Twain.

767
00:45:42,373 --> 00:45:45,110
Merely games,
Monsieur Perrier.

768
00:45:45,176 --> 00:45:48,379
Pitting wits with you,
so to speak.

769
00:45:48,446 --> 00:45:52,683
Pit your wits with me
and you won't have wits
to pit with.

770
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:55,120
You're spitting
on the nurse.

771
00:45:55,186 --> 00:45:57,055
Sorry, old lady.

772
00:45:57,122 --> 00:45:59,257
Crazy broad
should be in bed.

773
00:45:59,324 --> 00:46:02,227
Monsieur Twain,
after four hours,
we haven't seen

774
00:46:02,293 --> 00:46:04,896
a hot dinner
or a cold corpse.

775
00:46:04,963 --> 00:46:07,165
I therefore
bid you adieu.

776
00:46:07,232 --> 00:46:09,034
I bid one adieu,
also.

777
00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:11,236
No one is
leaving this house.

778
00:46:23,314 --> 00:46:26,117
What meaning of this,
Mr. Twain?

779
00:46:26,184 --> 00:46:29,120
I will tell you, Mr. Wang,
if you can tell me

780
00:46:29,187 --> 00:46:32,623
why a man with
such a brilliant mind

781
00:46:32,690 --> 00:46:35,160
can't say his
prepositions or articles.

782
00:46:35,226 --> 00:46:38,629
"The," Mr. Wang.
What is "the" meaning of this?

783
00:46:38,696 --> 00:46:40,098
That what I said.

784
00:46:40,165 --> 00:46:42,200
What meaning of this?

785
00:46:42,267 --> 00:46:44,135
The meaning of this is

786
00:46:44,202 --> 00:46:48,039
I have decided to
prove beyond a doubt

787
00:46:48,106 --> 00:46:51,442
that the greatest
living criminologist
in the world

788
00:46:51,509 --> 00:46:53,211
is sitting
at this table,

789
00:46:53,278 --> 00:46:56,181
and you are all
looking at him.

790
00:46:56,247 --> 00:46:58,616
No, don't look
at each other.

791
00:46:58,683 --> 00:47:00,718
Look at me!
I'm the greatest.

792
00:47:00,785 --> 00:47:02,453
I'm number one.

793
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:04,289
You look like
number two.

794
00:47:04,355 --> 00:47:06,124
Know what I mean?

795
00:47:06,191 --> 00:47:08,493
What does he mean?

796
00:47:08,559 --> 00:47:10,361
Tell you later.
It's disgusting.

797
00:47:10,428 --> 00:47:14,232
In all your
various adventures,

798
00:47:14,299 --> 00:47:17,535
not one of you has ever
had an unsolved murder.

799
00:47:17,602 --> 00:47:21,806
Your reputations exist
on this single fact.

800
00:47:21,873 --> 00:47:25,110
But what would
the world say

801
00:47:25,176 --> 00:47:27,845
if the five greatest
living detectives

802
00:47:27,913 --> 00:47:31,382
found themselves trapped
in a country house,

803
00:47:31,449 --> 00:47:33,618
shut off from the world,

804
00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:36,754
only to discover
a body on the floor,

805
00:47:36,821 --> 00:47:39,958
stabbed 12 times
in the back with
a butcher's knife,

806
00:47:40,025 --> 00:47:46,031
and not one able
to solve the crime?

807
00:47:46,097 --> 00:47:47,265
You mean murder?

808
00:47:47,332 --> 00:47:48,733
Dora, please.
We're talking shop.

809
00:47:48,799 --> 00:47:51,136
Yes! Murder,
Mrs. Charleston.

810
00:47:51,202 --> 00:47:53,171
Exactly at midnight,

811
00:47:53,238 --> 00:47:56,641
someone in this
house will be
viciously murdered.

812
00:47:56,707 --> 00:48:00,278
Left out one small
detail, Mr. Twain.

813
00:48:01,479 --> 00:48:02,847
Who victim?

814
00:48:03,714 --> 00:48:06,417
"Is the!" "Is the!"

815
00:48:06,484 --> 00:48:08,186
Who "is the" victim?

816
00:48:08,253 --> 00:48:10,088
That drives me crazy!

817
00:48:10,155 --> 00:48:12,423
Sounds like
a short ride to me.

818
00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:16,394
Well, we shall see
who is sane

819
00:48:16,461 --> 00:48:18,596
and who is crazy
around here.

820
00:48:20,465 --> 00:48:25,937
Mr. Wang, the victim
is at this very table
at this very moment,

821
00:48:26,004 --> 00:48:28,873
and so, too,
ladies and gentlemen,

822
00:48:28,940 --> 00:48:31,142
is the murderer.

823
00:48:31,209 --> 00:48:32,978
Murder-poo?

824
00:48:33,044 --> 00:48:36,814
Yes, dear.
We're going to have
a lovely murder-poo.

825
00:48:36,881 --> 00:48:38,083
(GIGGLES)

826
00:48:38,149 --> 00:48:41,919
Why don't you
push her wheelchair
down the driveway?

827
00:48:41,987 --> 00:48:43,955
You know who's
gonna get it?

828
00:48:44,022 --> 00:48:45,090
Intimately.

829
00:48:45,156 --> 00:48:47,658
And you know
the method?
Definitely.

830
00:48:47,725 --> 00:48:50,561
And exactly what time
murder to take place?

831
00:48:50,628 --> 00:48:51,762
"The" murder.

832
00:48:51,829 --> 00:48:53,231
Precisely.

833
00:48:53,298 --> 00:48:55,000
Well, I know
it's none of my business,

834
00:48:55,066 --> 00:48:57,735
but doesn't that mean
that you're the murderer,
Mr. Twain?

835
00:48:57,802 --> 00:48:59,004
No wives.

836
00:48:59,070 --> 00:49:01,406
I refuse to discuss
this with wives.

837
00:49:01,472 --> 00:49:03,541
Dora is quite right.
All fingers do seem
to point to you.

838
00:49:03,608 --> 00:49:05,410
It's not much
of a challenge.

839
00:49:05,476 --> 00:49:08,546
Shall I make it
more interesting,
Mr. Charleston?

840
00:49:08,613 --> 00:49:11,916
$1 million to the one
who solves the crime.

841
00:49:11,983 --> 00:49:14,719
Wagered against
your reputations.

842
00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:17,022
$1 million in
tax-free cash.

843
00:49:17,088 --> 00:49:21,026
Also, the paperback rights
and the film sale.

844
00:49:21,092 --> 00:49:23,194
It's 11:00, amigos.

845
00:49:23,261 --> 00:49:27,032
One hour
before death strikes
someone in this room.

846
00:49:27,098 --> 00:49:28,599
See you at midnight.

847
00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:30,001
Toodle-oo!

848
00:49:33,004 --> 00:49:35,040
See here,
Monsieur Twain!

849
00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:37,508
He's gone!

850
00:49:37,575 --> 00:49:39,477
No, he's not.
He's down there.

851
00:49:39,544 --> 00:49:40,878
(ALL GASP)

852
00:49:40,945 --> 00:49:43,081
Fast little
bunny rabbit,
ain't you?

853
00:49:43,148 --> 00:49:45,116
I've never moved,
Mr. Diamond.

854
00:49:45,183 --> 00:49:46,617
I'm still down there.

855
00:49:46,684 --> 00:49:48,653
A stunt done
with mirrors.

856
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:50,555
Is that so?

857
00:49:50,621 --> 00:49:52,723
Willing to risk
seven years bad luck?

858
00:49:52,790 --> 00:49:54,492
Try it, Mr. Diamond.

859
00:49:54,559 --> 00:49:57,295
It's your funeral,
butterball.

860
00:49:57,362 --> 00:49:59,697
(ALL GASP)
Wait!

861
00:49:59,764 --> 00:50:01,766
Sometimes it
doesn't work.

862
00:50:03,634 --> 00:50:06,671
You've won this round,
Mr. Diamond.

863
00:50:06,737 --> 00:50:08,739
My turn comes
at midnight.

864
00:50:18,083 --> 00:50:20,285
I hope he can
stop that thing.

865
00:50:21,486 --> 00:50:24,089
If you ask me,
anybody offering
a million bucks

866
00:50:24,155 --> 00:50:26,224
for a crime
that's not committed,

867
00:50:26,291 --> 00:50:28,859
that's nuts.

868
00:50:28,926 --> 00:50:32,063
Should we wait
until someone's
butchered?

869
00:50:32,130 --> 00:50:33,964
What's happened
to the butler?

870
00:50:34,031 --> 00:50:37,668
Why hasn't he returned
with our dinner?

871
00:50:37,735 --> 00:50:39,170
Go look for him.

872
00:50:39,237 --> 00:50:41,572
No one leave.

873
00:50:41,639 --> 00:50:42,940
Why not, Pop?

874
00:50:43,007 --> 00:50:45,410
Twain say victim
at this table.

875
00:50:45,476 --> 00:50:47,278
If we stay together,

876
00:50:47,345 --> 00:50:49,947
crime cannot be committed
without witnesses.

877
00:50:50,014 --> 00:50:52,383
You're one smart
Chinaman, Mr. Wang.

878
00:50:52,450 --> 00:50:57,388
Joining hands
will make the
chain stronger.

879
00:50:57,455 --> 00:50:59,190
Join hands, please.

880
00:51:01,226 --> 00:51:02,493
(TICKING)

881
00:51:11,269 --> 00:51:12,603
Stop that.

882
00:51:16,441 --> 00:51:18,109
Stop it, I said.

883
00:51:18,176 --> 00:51:20,111
What is it,
Diamond?

884
00:51:20,178 --> 00:51:22,980
She's giving
my palm the finger,
the dirty broad.

885
00:51:23,047 --> 00:51:24,849
Naughty, naughty,
Miss Withers.

886
00:51:24,915 --> 00:51:26,284
(GIGGLING)

887
00:51:29,587 --> 00:51:30,821
(INAUDIBLE)

888
00:51:30,888 --> 00:51:33,624
Good God! Look!

889
00:51:33,691 --> 00:51:35,059
(INAUDIBLE)

890
00:51:38,429 --> 00:51:39,730
TESS: What is she doing?

891
00:51:39,797 --> 00:51:41,632
Screaming.
What is it?

892
00:51:41,699 --> 00:51:43,234
What's happened?

893
00:51:43,301 --> 00:51:45,270
Something wrong
in kitchen.
With our dinner!

894
00:51:45,336 --> 00:51:46,971
No, no.
Patience, patience.

895
00:51:47,037 --> 00:51:49,307
Is someone in there?
Is someone in the
kitchen with dinner?

896
00:51:49,374 --> 00:51:51,376
Cook cannot
speak or hear.

897
00:51:53,878 --> 00:51:56,581
"I think
butler is dead.

898
00:51:56,647 --> 00:52:00,351
"My name is Yetta.
I don't work Thursdays."

899
00:52:00,418 --> 00:52:02,052
Ask if she sleeps in.

900
00:52:02,119 --> 00:52:03,521
We must
investigate this.

901
00:52:03,588 --> 00:52:05,223
Someone has to go.
Not alone.

902
00:52:05,290 --> 00:52:07,792
Mr. Charleston,
Mr. Diamond stay.

903
00:52:07,858 --> 00:52:09,894
Miss Marbles,
Monsieur Perrier

904
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:11,962
and Wang will
investigate.

905
00:52:14,899 --> 00:52:16,967
Oh, that's right.

906
00:52:17,034 --> 00:52:18,936
Let it all out.

907
00:52:21,572 --> 00:52:22,840
(INAUDIBLE)

908
00:52:24,609 --> 00:52:26,143
Careful, Wang!

909
00:52:26,211 --> 00:52:27,878
Fingerprints.

910
00:52:27,945 --> 00:52:30,648
Where?
Yours.

911
00:52:30,715 --> 00:52:32,750
Here, take
my handkerchief.

912
00:52:46,764 --> 00:52:48,599
Is he...
Looks...

913
00:52:48,666 --> 00:52:51,001
Seems like...

914
00:52:51,068 --> 00:52:52,737
(BOTH GASP)
Don't touch him!

915
00:52:52,803 --> 00:52:54,004
Fingerprints.

916
00:52:54,071 --> 00:52:55,806
Quite so.

917
00:52:55,873 --> 00:52:56,941
Pencil.

918
00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:58,209
Pencil.

919
00:53:12,423 --> 00:53:13,991
WANG: No pulse,

920
00:53:15,293 --> 00:53:17,762
no heartbeat.

921
00:53:17,828 --> 00:53:22,667
If condition
does not change,
this man is dead.

922
00:53:22,733 --> 00:53:24,669
No signs of foul play.

923
00:53:24,735 --> 00:53:27,137
Hold on!
What's this?

924
00:53:29,507 --> 00:53:31,942
What do you
make of this, Perrier?

925
00:53:32,977 --> 00:53:34,579
Poison,
n'est-ce pas?

926
00:53:34,645 --> 00:53:36,314
Not Nespa, cocoa.

927
00:53:37,648 --> 00:53:40,050
At last,
we have our murder.

928
00:53:40,117 --> 00:53:41,486
Not quite.

929
00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:44,255
Twain say murder victim
sitting at our table.

930
00:53:44,322 --> 00:53:46,324
Butler not at our table.

931
00:53:46,391 --> 00:53:48,293
Butler only killed
to divert us

932
00:53:48,359 --> 00:53:51,128
from real murder
still to come.

933
00:53:51,195 --> 00:53:52,330
(BOTH GASP)

934
00:53:52,397 --> 00:53:53,764
(SCREAMS)
Look!

935
00:53:53,831 --> 00:53:55,966
A knife is missing!

936
00:53:56,033 --> 00:53:57,968
The butcher's knife,
I'll wager.

937
00:53:58,035 --> 00:53:59,270
The others
are in danger.

938
00:53:59,337 --> 00:54:01,372
What is exact time,
please?

939
00:54:02,773 --> 00:54:05,310
11:31 and 56 seconds.

940
00:54:05,376 --> 00:54:08,045
57, 58...

941
00:54:08,112 --> 00:54:09,246
Tell me
when to stop.

942
00:54:09,314 --> 00:54:10,948
59, 60.

943
00:54:11,015 --> 00:54:13,284
Twenty-eight minutes
to main murder.

944
00:54:13,351 --> 00:54:14,719
Back to dining room.

945
00:54:14,785 --> 00:54:16,921
Must be together
at midnight.

946
00:54:18,789 --> 00:54:20,224
One moment!

947
00:54:22,927 --> 00:54:24,161
(GASPS)

948
00:54:25,129 --> 00:54:26,897
WANG: Handkerchief.

949
00:54:38,576 --> 00:54:39,644
What is it?

950
00:54:39,710 --> 00:54:41,211
A bill.

951
00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:43,147
Everything's rented
for tonight.

952
00:54:43,213 --> 00:54:45,650
The butler, cook,
food and chairs.

953
00:54:46,216 --> 00:54:48,218
You mean...

954
00:54:48,285 --> 00:54:51,489
This entire murder
has been catered.

955
00:54:55,926 --> 00:54:57,762
It's Twain's doing.
He's crazy.

956
00:54:57,828 --> 00:54:59,063
Ah, yes, but no fool.

957
00:54:59,129 --> 00:55:01,499
I hope we're in time.

958
00:55:01,566 --> 00:55:02,567
Door locked.

959
00:55:02,633 --> 00:55:05,570
Sam Diamond
probably locked it.

960
00:55:05,636 --> 00:55:08,339
Good thinking
on Diamond head.

961
00:55:08,406 --> 00:55:09,940
Diamond,
it's Perrier.

962
00:55:10,007 --> 00:55:11,909
It's all right.
Open up.

963
00:55:13,578 --> 00:55:16,180
Diamond, Charleston.
Are you in there?

964
00:55:16,246 --> 00:55:21,018
Get key from pocket
of dead butler.

965
00:55:21,085 --> 00:55:24,955
Don't say "dead."
I have to reach
into his pocket.

966
00:55:29,627 --> 00:55:30,995
(EXCLAIMS)

967
00:55:38,436 --> 00:55:40,137
Holy merde!

968
00:55:46,877 --> 00:55:48,679
Miss Skeffington!

969
00:55:48,746 --> 00:55:50,881
MISS MARBLES:
Miss Skeffington!
Miss Withers!

970
00:55:50,948 --> 00:55:52,617
He is gone.

971
00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,485
Who's gone?
The butler.
His body is missing.

972
00:55:54,552 --> 00:55:55,586
Here's the key.

973
00:55:55,653 --> 00:55:57,422
Where you find key?

974
00:55:57,488 --> 00:55:58,889
In his pocket.
What pocket?

975
00:55:58,956 --> 00:56:00,157
The butler's pocket.

976
00:56:00,224 --> 00:56:01,859
Butler gone,
but pocket there?

977
00:56:01,926 --> 00:56:03,360
Exactly.

978
00:56:03,428 --> 00:56:05,596
Somebody stole his body,
but left his clothes.

979
00:56:05,663 --> 00:56:07,231
Quickly!
Open the door.

980
00:56:07,297 --> 00:56:09,199
Something is
wrong here.

981
00:56:14,405 --> 00:56:17,742
Hello!
Where is everyone?

982
00:56:17,808 --> 00:56:20,711
Room filled
with empty people.

983
00:56:20,778 --> 00:56:22,680
I'll try
the other door.

984
00:56:25,015 --> 00:56:26,551
It's locked
from the inside.

985
00:56:26,617 --> 00:56:27,918
Strange.

986
00:56:27,985 --> 00:56:29,987
Both doors locked
from inside,
yet no way out.

987
00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:32,089
I don't like it.
I don't like it one bit!

988
00:56:32,156 --> 00:56:34,659
I like, but
don't understand.

989
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:36,927
Maybe other way
out of room.

990
00:56:36,994 --> 00:56:39,396
Secret passageway,
perhaps.

991
00:56:41,331 --> 00:56:44,802
TWAIN: There are no secret
passageways, Mr. Wang.

992
00:56:44,869 --> 00:56:46,336
You spoke?
No.

993
00:56:46,403 --> 00:56:47,472
Not me.

994
00:56:47,538 --> 00:56:48,773
I spoke.

995
00:56:50,508 --> 00:56:52,042
Ah! There!

996
00:56:52,109 --> 00:56:54,011
Voice come from cow
on wall.

997
00:56:54,078 --> 00:56:57,014
Moose! Moose,
you imbecile!

998
00:56:57,081 --> 00:56:58,282
Where are they?

999
00:56:58,348 --> 00:57:00,518
What have you done
with the others,
you short madman?

1000
00:57:00,585 --> 00:57:03,320
Ah-ha! Stumped already!

1001
00:57:03,387 --> 00:57:05,690
Need some clues,
Monsieur Perrier?

1002
00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:07,191
Clues!
I need no clues.

1003
00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:10,060
I find my own clues,
you demented lollipop!

1004
00:57:10,127 --> 00:57:12,262
Calm yourself.
Man who argue
with cow on wall

1005
00:57:12,329 --> 00:57:14,732
is like train
without wheels.
Get nowhere.

1006
00:57:14,799 --> 00:57:16,667
Okay, quiet.
I'm sick of your
fortune cookies.

1007
00:57:16,734 --> 00:57:19,069
Man who sick of
fortune cookies...

1008
00:57:19,136 --> 00:57:21,371
I'm sick of
fortune cookies...

1009
00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:22,773
(SHUSHING)

1010
00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:24,174
Cow talk again.

1011
00:57:24,241 --> 00:57:26,777
Need a hint,
Miss Marbles?

1012
00:57:26,844 --> 00:57:29,013
You mistake
what you assume.

1013
00:57:29,079 --> 00:57:31,982
They never left
the dining room.

1014
00:57:32,049 --> 00:57:34,151
Count the numbers
1 to 10,

1015
00:57:34,218 --> 00:57:36,120
turn the knob
and try again.

1016
00:57:36,186 --> 00:57:37,688
(LAUGHING)

1017
00:57:37,755 --> 00:57:39,657
What the devil
does that mean?

1018
00:57:39,724 --> 00:57:41,125
"They never left
the dining room."

1019
00:57:41,191 --> 00:57:42,860
Certainly they did.

1020
00:57:42,927 --> 00:57:44,261
Do not mistake
what you assume,
Miss Marbles.

1021
00:57:44,328 --> 00:57:46,096
Quick, back
out in hall.
Why?

1022
00:57:46,163 --> 00:57:48,398
We assume
others not here.

1023
00:57:48,465 --> 00:57:50,901
Cow say they in room.

1024
00:57:50,968 --> 00:57:52,837
Let's look once more.

1025
00:57:55,573 --> 00:57:58,075
Please close door,
Monsieur Perrier.

1026
00:57:59,877 --> 00:58:01,612
I cannot see
what possible...

1027
00:58:01,679 --> 00:58:05,282
Quiet.
7, 8, 9, 10.

1028
00:58:05,349 --> 00:58:08,352
Miss Marbles,
open door, please.

1029
00:58:15,459 --> 00:58:17,762
Where were you, Wang?
We was worried.

1030
00:58:17,828 --> 00:58:19,463
Where were you?

1031
00:58:19,530 --> 00:58:22,032
We were here.
You said don't leave.

1032
00:58:22,099 --> 00:58:24,134
You haven't
left this room?

1033
00:58:24,201 --> 00:58:25,936
ALL: No.

1034
00:58:26,003 --> 00:58:27,905
Answer simple,

1035
00:58:27,972 --> 00:58:30,675
but question hard.

1036
00:58:30,741 --> 00:58:31,876
Where's the butler?

1037
00:58:31,942 --> 00:58:34,211
Butler completely
murdered.

1038
00:58:34,278 --> 00:58:35,445
Poisoned.

1039
00:58:35,512 --> 00:58:37,882
A butcher knife
is missing.

1040
00:58:37,948 --> 00:58:40,985
We came to tell you,
but the doors were locked.

1041
00:58:41,051 --> 00:58:43,754
I wanted
the butler's key,

1042
00:58:43,821 --> 00:58:45,455
but his body
was missing.

1043
00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:46,757
He had been
stripped naked.

1044
00:58:46,824 --> 00:58:48,893
His clothes
were left.

1045
00:58:48,959 --> 00:58:50,327
I don't understand.

1046
00:58:50,394 --> 00:58:53,497
Why would anyone steal
a dead, naked body?

1047
00:58:53,564 --> 00:58:55,833
Well, dear,
there are people...

1048
00:58:58,068 --> 00:58:59,704
That's tacky.

1049
00:58:59,770 --> 00:59:01,505
That's really tacky.

1050
00:59:01,572 --> 00:59:05,209
Then we returned here,
opened the door,

1051
00:59:05,275 --> 00:59:06,777
but the room was empty.

1052
00:59:06,844 --> 00:59:08,312
You were all gone.

1053
00:59:08,378 --> 00:59:09,747
(CHUCKLES)

1054
00:59:09,814 --> 00:59:12,249
The moose head told us
not to assume

1055
00:59:12,316 --> 00:59:14,919
that you'd left
the dining room.

1056
00:59:14,985 --> 00:59:18,989
So we counted to 10
and tried it again.

1057
00:59:19,056 --> 00:59:21,992
And here you were.

1058
00:59:22,059 --> 00:59:24,929
I'm not one to
use hyperbole,

1059
00:59:24,995 --> 00:59:26,597
but I'll tell you this,

1060
00:59:26,664 --> 00:59:27,998
for the first time
in my life,

1061
00:59:28,065 --> 00:59:30,400
I had the ca-ca
scared out of me.

1062
00:59:32,169 --> 00:59:34,905
I like her.
I really like her.

1063
00:59:35,773 --> 00:59:36,907
(GUNSHOTS)

1064
00:59:36,974 --> 00:59:38,643
Gunshots, monsieur.
Gunshots, Pop.

1065
00:59:38,709 --> 00:59:40,544
Gunshots, Sam.
Gunshots, Dickie.

1066
00:59:40,611 --> 00:59:42,680
Shoes!

1067
00:59:42,747 --> 00:59:44,982
This time,
Charleston
and I will go.

1068
00:59:45,049 --> 00:59:46,917
Everybody else
stay here.

1069
00:59:46,984 --> 00:59:48,786
Let's go,
Charleston.

1070
00:59:53,724 --> 00:59:56,160
What do you make
of all this, Wang?

1071
00:59:59,529 --> 01:00:01,331
Is confusing.

1072
01:00:01,398 --> 01:00:05,870
"It!" "It" is confusing.
Say your pronouns!

1073
01:00:06,303 --> 01:00:07,571
(SCOFFS)

1074
01:00:12,409 --> 01:00:13,911
Open the door.

1075
01:00:15,145 --> 01:00:17,047
Good God!
What is it?

1076
01:00:17,114 --> 01:00:18,448
He's back.

1077
01:00:21,819 --> 01:00:23,387
And au naturel.

1078
01:00:24,221 --> 01:00:25,923
I don't get it.

1079
01:00:25,990 --> 01:00:29,794
First they steal
the body and leave
the clothes.

1080
01:00:29,860 --> 01:00:34,498
Who would steal
the clothes and bring
the body back?

1081
01:00:34,564 --> 01:00:36,701
Possibly some
deranged dry cleaner.

1082
01:00:36,767 --> 01:00:38,602
What about the gunshots?

1083
01:00:38,669 --> 01:00:41,739
Why shoot someone
who'd been poisoned?

1084
01:00:41,806 --> 01:00:44,408
True. We heard gunshots,
but I don't see
any bullet holes.

1085
01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:46,777
Not in his head, his neck,
his back or his chest.

1086
01:00:46,844 --> 01:00:48,846
Look all over him.

1087
01:00:48,913 --> 01:00:50,280
All over his body?

1088
01:00:50,347 --> 01:00:52,616
Somebody has to do it.

1089
01:00:52,683 --> 01:00:54,651
I'll stand guard.
You look.

1090
01:00:54,719 --> 01:00:56,586
All right.
We'll take turns.

1091
01:00:56,653 --> 01:00:58,889
Search the first
naked body.

1092
01:00:58,956 --> 01:01:02,059
I'll search the
second one we find.

1093
01:01:02,126 --> 01:01:03,560
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

1094
01:01:03,627 --> 01:01:06,063
Hurry up.
We only got eight minutes.

1095
01:01:10,735 --> 01:01:12,002
(GROANS)

1096
01:01:14,071 --> 01:01:15,405
You see anything?

1097
01:01:15,472 --> 01:01:18,475
I don't see
a bullet hole.

1098
01:01:18,542 --> 01:01:20,477
Hold it,
I see something.

1099
01:01:20,544 --> 01:01:22,112
What is it?

1100
01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:24,481
Forget it. My mistake.
Not a bullet hole.

1101
01:01:24,548 --> 01:01:26,884
Then what about
the shots?

1102
01:01:27,918 --> 01:01:29,319
Divide and conquer.

1103
01:01:29,386 --> 01:01:31,055
What?
Another diversion.

1104
01:01:31,121 --> 01:01:33,157
He gives us
meaningless clues

1105
01:01:33,223 --> 01:01:37,194
and dangles red herrings
before our eyes

1106
01:01:37,261 --> 01:01:39,163
as precious seconds
tick away.

1107
01:01:39,229 --> 01:01:41,698
Another murder
is still to come.

1108
01:01:41,766 --> 01:01:45,836
You're not
my type of cop,
but you smell good.

1109
01:01:45,903 --> 01:01:48,405
If you're not a pansy,
what are you?

1110
01:01:49,273 --> 01:01:50,741
Classy, I suppose.

1111
01:01:50,808 --> 01:01:52,810
Dames love
guys like you.

1112
01:01:52,877 --> 01:01:54,378
I don't see
what possibly...

1113
01:01:54,444 --> 01:01:56,346
You ever make it
with a waitress?
What?

1114
01:01:56,413 --> 01:01:57,481
A waitress.

1115
01:01:57,547 --> 01:01:59,616
A big fat waitress.

1116
01:01:59,683 --> 01:02:02,052
I don't know
about society dames,

1117
01:02:02,119 --> 01:02:06,556
but you ain't had it
until you've made it
with a fat waitress.

1118
01:02:06,623 --> 01:02:09,159
If you're interested,
give me a call.

1119
01:02:15,299 --> 01:02:17,034
Bizarre little twit.

1120
01:02:17,101 --> 01:02:19,036
I'm not sure about him.

1121
01:02:27,111 --> 01:02:28,378
What are you doing?

1122
01:02:28,445 --> 01:02:30,247
My hands
need washing.
Good.

1123
01:02:30,314 --> 01:02:31,481
I'll be right out.

1124
01:02:31,548 --> 01:02:33,083
I'll tell them.

1125
01:02:35,519 --> 01:02:37,955
You're never going
to believe this.

1126
01:02:39,123 --> 01:02:41,025
All right,
where are you?

1127
01:02:41,091 --> 01:02:43,928
What the hell
is going on?

1128
01:02:43,994 --> 01:02:47,031
Charleston, wash up later.
We've got problems.

1129
01:02:52,702 --> 01:02:54,604
Locked from the inside.

1130
01:02:57,107 --> 01:02:59,243
That can only
mean one thing,

1131
01:03:00,277 --> 01:03:02,646
and I don't know
what it is.

1132
01:03:02,712 --> 01:03:04,081
Charleston!

1133
01:03:08,718 --> 01:03:10,687
You'll never believe...

1134
01:03:10,754 --> 01:03:12,422
(GROWLING)

1135
01:03:20,630 --> 01:03:22,299
I'll be right out!

1136
01:03:30,574 --> 01:03:33,010
I don't remember
closing that door.

1137
01:03:39,516 --> 01:03:41,018
What happened?

1138
01:03:43,120 --> 01:03:44,989
What were
the gunshots?

1139
01:03:48,525 --> 01:03:50,660
Did anybody leave?

1140
01:03:50,727 --> 01:03:52,729
It happened
to you, too?

1141
01:03:52,796 --> 01:03:54,464
Where's my Dickie?

1142
01:03:55,465 --> 01:03:57,167
Sorry.
Where's my husband?

1143
01:03:57,234 --> 01:04:00,704
Two minutes to midnight,
if anyone's interested.

1144
01:04:00,770 --> 01:04:02,839
It ain't possible.

1145
01:04:02,907 --> 01:04:04,541
Eight people
in a dining room

1146
01:04:04,608 --> 01:04:06,776
can't suddenly
disappear.

1147
01:04:06,843 --> 01:04:08,145
Unless...

1148
01:04:08,212 --> 01:04:09,313
What?

1149
01:04:09,379 --> 01:04:10,981
Unless it
never happened.

1150
01:04:11,048 --> 01:04:12,983
I see your point,
Diamond.

1151
01:04:13,050 --> 01:04:16,520
When is a full
dining room not full?

1152
01:04:16,586 --> 01:04:18,188
When there's
two dining rooms.

1153
01:04:18,255 --> 01:04:19,523
Exactly!

1154
01:04:19,589 --> 01:04:21,025
Two dining rooms?

1155
01:04:21,091 --> 01:04:22,993
Two dining rooms,
two of everything.

1156
01:04:23,060 --> 01:04:25,262
Twain electronic genius.

1157
01:04:25,329 --> 01:04:29,266
He has devised a way
to move this room
quickly and silently,

1158
01:04:29,333 --> 01:04:30,634
in the flash of an eye,

1159
01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:33,637
to be replaced by
an identical room.

1160
01:04:33,703 --> 01:04:34,939
I knew it!

1161
01:04:35,005 --> 01:04:37,541
Please.
I shall demonstrate.

1162
01:04:37,607 --> 01:04:42,412
I'll walk out the door,
return, and you will
all be gone.

1163
01:04:42,479 --> 01:04:43,480
Observe.

1164
01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:52,056
I've figured it out.

1165
01:04:52,122 --> 01:04:54,158
There are two
of everything.

1166
01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:56,426
Oh, Dickie,
that's old news.

1167
01:04:56,493 --> 01:04:58,662
Everybody take
your seats.

1168
01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:00,497
I'm scared, Sam.
Hold me.

1169
01:05:00,564 --> 01:05:02,832
Hold yourself.
I'm busy.

1170
01:05:02,899 --> 01:05:04,868
Sit in your same seat.

1171
01:05:04,935 --> 01:05:08,505
40 seconds!
I'm worried about
Monsieur Perrier.

1172
01:05:08,572 --> 01:05:10,074
I'll look for him.

1173
01:05:10,140 --> 01:05:12,442
No one to leave room.

1174
01:05:12,509 --> 01:05:14,111
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

1175
01:05:14,178 --> 01:05:16,146
No, it's the other door.

1176
01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:21,785
It's locked.
I can't open it.

1177
01:05:21,851 --> 01:05:24,321
Hurry!
We have 15 seconds.

1178
01:05:24,388 --> 01:05:25,990
Move your hand,
chauffeur.

1179
01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:32,362
Don't ask me!

1180
01:05:32,429 --> 01:05:33,998
Why the butler's
uniform?

1181
01:05:34,064 --> 01:05:36,933
I said don't ask me!
I don't know.

1182
01:05:37,001 --> 01:05:39,103
It all happened
too quickly.

1183
01:05:40,170 --> 01:05:43,040
The cook.
Where's the cook?

1184
01:05:44,374 --> 01:05:46,410
Gone!
Never said a word.

1185
01:05:46,476 --> 01:05:49,313
Ten more seconds.
Sit and join hands.

1186
01:05:52,816 --> 01:05:56,186
Impossible for murder
to happen now without
witnesses.

1187
01:05:56,886 --> 01:06:00,324
Three, two, one!

1188
01:06:00,390 --> 01:06:02,259
(CLOCK CHIMING)

1189
01:06:17,041 --> 01:06:18,808
(CHIMING CONTINUES)

1190
01:06:27,284 --> 01:06:29,119
(NERVOUS LAUGHTER)

1191
01:06:29,186 --> 01:06:30,520
(SIGHING IN RELIEF)

1192
01:06:30,587 --> 01:06:33,657
It's over.
We're safe and sound.

1193
01:06:35,725 --> 01:06:37,427
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

1194
01:06:38,695 --> 01:06:40,730
That's probably
the cook. Come in.

1195
01:06:40,797 --> 01:06:42,299
The woman is deaf.

1196
01:06:42,366 --> 01:06:45,169
I'm sorry, I forgot.
Come in!

1197
01:06:46,403 --> 01:06:48,405
Not sound like
cook to me.

1198
01:07:03,453 --> 01:07:05,489
Ah, Mr. Twain!

1199
01:07:06,756 --> 01:07:09,293
You appear
to be wrong.

1200
01:07:09,359 --> 01:07:12,596
Nobody here murdered.
Please come in.

1201
01:07:14,164 --> 01:07:15,832
(ALL SCREAMING)

1202
01:07:19,069 --> 01:07:20,570
Is he dead?

1203
01:07:20,637 --> 01:07:23,340
If he's not,
he should be.

1204
01:07:23,407 --> 01:07:25,609
Touch nothing!
Stop saying "touch nothing."

1205
01:07:25,675 --> 01:07:27,977
We're experienced
criminologists.

1206
01:07:28,044 --> 01:07:31,981
It's insulting to
say "touch nothing."

1207
01:07:32,048 --> 01:07:34,651
Be quiet, woman!
Up yours, fellow!

1208
01:07:34,718 --> 01:07:36,186
Most amusing.

1209
01:07:36,253 --> 01:07:39,323
Bickering detectives
like making giant lamb stew.

1210
01:07:39,389 --> 01:07:40,957
Everything go to pot.

1211
01:07:41,024 --> 01:07:42,826
Why don't you
be quiet?

1212
01:07:42,892 --> 01:07:44,428
(ALL BICKERING)

1213
01:07:44,494 --> 01:07:45,995
(GUN FIRES)

1214
01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:48,165
Quiet!

1215
01:07:48,232 --> 01:07:49,666
Stay where you are,
everybody.

1216
01:07:49,733 --> 01:07:52,169
What?
I'm going to the can.

1217
01:07:52,236 --> 01:07:54,704
I don't want
to miss nothing.

1218
01:07:54,771 --> 01:07:56,306
I'm going, too.

1219
01:07:58,708 --> 01:08:00,510
I'd rather
do this alone.

1220
01:08:00,577 --> 01:08:02,078
Thanks anyway.

1221
01:08:05,449 --> 01:08:06,983
DORA: The cook.

1222
01:08:07,984 --> 01:08:09,286
What, darling?

1223
01:08:09,353 --> 01:08:11,888
The cook murdered him.

1224
01:08:11,955 --> 01:08:15,192
The butler's dead.
She wasn't in this room.

1225
01:08:15,259 --> 01:08:17,961
No one else
could get out.

1226
01:08:18,027 --> 01:08:19,363
Right?

1227
01:08:19,429 --> 01:08:21,030
Wrong.
Oh?

1228
01:08:21,097 --> 01:08:23,032
What makes you certain?

1229
01:08:23,099 --> 01:08:29,506
This arm isn't strong
enough to force a knife
that far up a man's back.

1230
01:08:29,573 --> 01:08:30,640
(ALL SCREAM)

1231
01:08:30,707 --> 01:08:32,075
Is that the cook's arm?

1232
01:08:32,142 --> 01:08:33,810
It ain't
the pussycat's tail.

1233
01:08:33,877 --> 01:08:35,078
Oh!

1234
01:08:35,145 --> 01:08:37,981
Don't be alarmed.
It ain't real.

1235
01:08:38,047 --> 01:08:39,816
Neither is the cook.

1236
01:08:42,319 --> 01:08:44,854
I found this before
I got to the can.

1237
01:08:47,524 --> 01:08:49,526
I have a surprise
for you.

1238
01:08:52,662 --> 01:08:54,231
(ALL GASP)

1239
01:08:55,232 --> 01:08:58,968
A mannequin.
No, a dummy!

1240
01:08:59,035 --> 01:09:03,340
Perfect in every detail,
except she couldn't hear
or speak.

1241
01:09:04,508 --> 01:09:07,977
I congratulate
the murder victim.

1242
01:09:08,044 --> 01:09:10,113
Except for being dead,
he was no dope.

1243
01:09:10,180 --> 01:09:11,748
Nice going, Sam.

1244
01:09:11,815 --> 01:09:16,052
I hope everyone
realizes someone
in here is a murderer.

1245
01:09:16,119 --> 01:09:18,555
For sake of ladies,

1246
01:09:18,622 --> 01:09:20,890
let's return
to drawing room.

1247
01:09:20,957 --> 01:09:23,427
My son will cover Twain.

1248
01:09:23,493 --> 01:09:25,329
Why do I do
the dirty work?

1249
01:09:25,395 --> 01:09:28,332
Because your mother
not here. Come, please.

1250
01:09:44,013 --> 01:09:45,349
Excuse me.

1251
01:09:51,288 --> 01:09:52,956
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

1252
01:09:53,022 --> 01:09:54,558
I'm getting
a headache.

1253
01:09:54,624 --> 01:09:57,627
Can't we turn off
that machine?

1254
01:09:57,694 --> 01:10:00,630
Maybe there's
some gadget
outside the window.

1255
01:10:06,102 --> 01:10:08,272
Sorry, it's raining
this time.

1256
01:10:08,338 --> 01:10:10,874
Let's sort the facts.

1257
01:10:10,940 --> 01:10:13,577
It's now 12:30 a.m.

1258
01:10:13,643 --> 01:10:16,446
Doors and windows
open at dawn.

1259
01:10:16,513 --> 01:10:19,716
One of us will be
$1 million richer.

1260
01:10:19,783 --> 01:10:22,619
One will go to
the gas chamber
and hang.

1261
01:10:22,686 --> 01:10:25,489
One, monsieur?
Why not two?

1262
01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:27,291
We all have associates.

1263
01:10:27,357 --> 01:10:29,025
Why not four
or six or eight?

1264
01:10:29,092 --> 01:10:30,727
I don't trust
any of you.

1265
01:10:30,794 --> 01:10:35,632
I'm not taking the fall,
you understand?

1266
01:10:35,699 --> 01:10:37,767
Not even for me, Sam?

1267
01:10:37,834 --> 01:10:41,471
Why don't you
fall in love
with the Jap?

1268
01:10:41,538 --> 01:10:44,007
Get back to case,
please.

1269
01:10:44,073 --> 01:10:47,544
Time is late,
and my eyes are
getting tired.

1270
01:10:47,611 --> 01:10:49,379
I thought they
always looked
like that.

1271
01:10:49,446 --> 01:10:51,047
Knock it off, Sam!

1272
01:10:51,114 --> 01:10:53,617
This case
is getting
on my nerves.

1273
01:10:53,683 --> 01:10:55,719
I'm sorry, slanty.

1274
01:10:55,785 --> 01:10:59,022
Thank you. Now then,
facts, please.

1275
01:10:59,088 --> 01:11:00,657
Mr. Twain predicts murder.

1276
01:11:00,724 --> 01:11:03,460
Also predicts victim
at dining table.

1277
01:11:03,527 --> 01:11:05,729
Correct?
Correct.

1278
01:11:05,795 --> 01:11:08,164
Sorry. This is official.
Correct.

1279
01:11:08,231 --> 01:11:10,934
Also predicts
time of murder

1280
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:13,337
and number of
stab wounds.

1281
01:11:13,403 --> 01:11:16,640
How can this be unless
he in collaboration
with murderer?

1282
01:11:16,706 --> 01:11:18,342
Maybe Twain did it.

1283
01:11:18,408 --> 01:11:20,109
Murdered himself?

1284
01:11:20,176 --> 01:11:23,980
For what possible
reason? And how?

1285
01:11:24,047 --> 01:11:26,550
The motive
is simple. Ego.

1286
01:11:26,616 --> 01:11:28,217
If we couldn't
solve this crime,

1287
01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:31,154
he would be
named the world's
foremost detective.

1288
01:11:31,220 --> 01:11:32,489
With his ego,

1289
01:11:32,556 --> 01:11:35,792
having to die
for it would seem
a small price.

1290
01:11:35,859 --> 01:11:37,561
As to how,

1291
01:11:37,627 --> 01:11:40,497
any man who can
create these
electronic marvels

1292
01:11:40,564 --> 01:11:45,101
could devise
a machine to stab
himself in the back.

1293
01:11:45,168 --> 01:11:49,172
Wonderful, darling.
Let's go to bed.

1294
01:11:49,238 --> 01:11:50,574
One moment, please.

1295
01:11:50,640 --> 01:11:53,443
Very interesting theory,
Mr. Charleston,

1296
01:11:53,510 --> 01:11:57,246
but you overlook one
very important point.

1297
01:11:57,313 --> 01:11:58,382
What?

1298
01:11:58,448 --> 01:11:59,849
Is stupid.

1299
01:11:59,916 --> 01:12:02,419
Is most stupid theory
I ever heard.

1300
01:12:02,486 --> 01:12:03,553
(CHUCKLES)

1301
01:12:03,620 --> 01:12:04,654
Do you have
a better one?

1302
01:12:04,721 --> 01:12:06,423
Oh, yes.

1303
01:12:06,490 --> 01:12:10,594
Much better one.
I have been
doing my homework.

1304
01:12:10,660 --> 01:12:13,363
For example,
I have information

1305
01:12:13,430 --> 01:12:16,232
that your wife's
portfolio of stocks

1306
01:12:16,299 --> 01:12:19,803
was seriously
depleted in latest
financial crisis.

1307
01:12:19,869 --> 01:12:22,439
In short,
you are broke,
Mr. Charleston.

1308
01:12:22,506 --> 01:12:27,844
You have been borrowing
money at 17% interest
from Mr. Lionel Twain.

1309
01:12:27,911 --> 01:12:29,679
Dickie, is this true?

1310
01:12:29,746 --> 01:12:32,882
I was waiting
until your birthday.

1311
01:12:32,949 --> 01:12:37,286
$1 million would buy
great many tight suits,

1312
01:12:37,353 --> 01:12:38,688
would it not,
Mr. Charleston?

1313
01:12:38,755 --> 01:12:41,357
See here, Wang.
Dead broke, Dickie?

1314
01:12:41,425 --> 01:12:44,661
Almost, darling.
I have $1.17
and some stamps.

1315
01:12:44,728 --> 01:12:46,195
But I did not
murder Lionel Twain.

1316
01:12:46,262 --> 01:12:48,164
You believe that,
don't you, darling?

1317
01:12:48,231 --> 01:12:50,967
We'll talk.
We'll see.

1318
01:12:51,034 --> 01:12:52,869
It could have
been any one of you.

1319
01:12:52,936 --> 01:12:59,743
Each of us left
that room, giving
ample opportunity.

1320
01:12:59,809 --> 01:13:03,613
As for motives,
there's more than ego
and cash involved.

1321
01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:05,381
For example, revenge.

1322
01:13:05,449 --> 01:13:07,417
Meaning what,
Mr. Charleston?

1323
01:13:07,484 --> 01:13:11,788
I'm not the only one
who's had experience
with Mr. Twain.

1324
01:13:11,855 --> 01:13:14,991
Did you know that
he was once
quite a ladies' man?

1325
01:13:15,058 --> 01:13:17,126
Are you suggesting
that someone here...

1326
01:13:17,193 --> 01:13:20,363
Was once in love
with Lionel Twain.

1327
01:13:20,430 --> 01:13:24,434
He was engaged to
and jilted
Miss Jessica Marbles.

1328
01:13:25,935 --> 01:13:27,336
(EXCLAIMS IN FRENCH)

1329
01:13:28,071 --> 01:13:30,339
Jesus H. Christ!

1330
01:13:30,406 --> 01:13:32,642
Jilted 54 years ago
at the altar

1331
01:13:32,709 --> 01:13:35,011
in that same
baggy tweed outfit.

1332
01:13:36,713 --> 01:13:39,549
Is this true, Jessie?
I was not jilted.

1333
01:13:39,616 --> 01:13:41,718
I walked out on him.

1334
01:13:41,785 --> 01:13:44,454
He wanted to
fool around
before the wedding.

1335
01:13:44,521 --> 01:13:47,957
Being the lady
you are, you refused.

1336
01:13:48,024 --> 01:13:51,528
Not completely.
But it got out of hand.

1337
01:13:51,595 --> 01:13:53,630
He was horrid,
but I didn't kill him.

1338
01:13:53,697 --> 01:13:54,898
That's good enough
for me.

1339
01:13:54,964 --> 01:13:56,399
What do you think,
Frenchie?

1340
01:13:56,466 --> 01:13:58,802
I'm not a Frenchie.
I'm a Belgie.

1341
01:14:00,904 --> 01:14:05,041
As for other motives,
how about patricide?

1342
01:14:05,108 --> 01:14:08,177
Killing one's own parent?

1343
01:14:08,244 --> 01:14:11,581
Lionel Twain was
the father of someone
in this room?

1344
01:14:12,482 --> 01:14:14,484
TESS: He wasn't
my father.

1345
01:14:16,019 --> 01:14:17,621
He was my uncle.

1346
01:14:19,088 --> 01:14:20,524
He was very good to me.

1347
01:14:20,590 --> 01:14:23,993
He would take me
to the circus.

1348
01:14:24,060 --> 01:14:27,430
We stopped going
when I was about 26.

1349
01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:31,768
I'm sorry, Sam.

1350
01:14:31,835 --> 01:14:34,671
Twenty-six? What the hell
kind of circus?

1351
01:14:34,738 --> 01:14:36,005
Forgive me.

1352
01:14:36,072 --> 01:14:39,308
I was talking
about patricide,
not unclecide.

1353
01:14:39,375 --> 01:14:42,045
Monsieur Twain may
have been your uncle,
Miss Skeffington,

1354
01:14:42,111 --> 01:14:46,616
but he was
the illegitimate father
of Monsieur Sidney Wang.

1355
01:14:50,153 --> 01:14:51,555
Is not true.

1356
01:14:52,188 --> 01:14:53,623
I was adopted.

1357
01:14:53,690 --> 01:14:55,324
I have my papers.

1358
01:14:55,391 --> 01:14:59,428
That's why I adopted
all my children.

1359
01:14:59,495 --> 01:15:01,130
I was wondering.

1360
01:15:01,197 --> 01:15:02,265
Oh...

1361
01:15:02,331 --> 01:15:04,433
He love me
very much,

1362
01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:07,671
but he was not
very observant.

1363
01:15:07,737 --> 01:15:10,707
When I was 19,

1364
01:15:10,774 --> 01:15:12,576
he called me
to his study,

1365
01:15:12,642 --> 01:15:15,178
noticed for first time
I was Oriental,

1366
01:15:15,244 --> 01:15:17,513
and kicked me
out of house.
I could have...

1367
01:15:17,581 --> 01:15:19,649
Killed him,
Monsieur Wang.

1368
01:15:19,716 --> 01:15:22,018
As easily as you,
Mr. Perrier.

1369
01:15:22,085 --> 01:15:25,922
Lionel Twain killed
the only thing
you ever loved,

1370
01:15:25,989 --> 01:15:29,258
Marie-Louise Cartier.

1371
01:15:34,363 --> 01:15:36,165
(WHIMPERING)

1372
01:15:42,171 --> 01:15:43,773
Your sweetheart?

1373
01:15:46,676 --> 01:15:48,011
My poodle.

1374
01:15:49,979 --> 01:15:51,981
He was a most cruel man.

1375
01:15:53,382 --> 01:15:57,420
Monsieur Twain came
to France every season.

1376
01:15:58,788 --> 01:16:00,389
To hunt poodles.

1377
01:16:02,058 --> 01:16:05,662
When they brought me her
bloodied sequined collar,

1378
01:16:05,729 --> 01:16:07,296
I vowed I would...

1379
01:16:07,363 --> 01:16:10,266
Knock him off?
Yes. Gladly, if I could.

1380
01:16:11,968 --> 01:16:14,037
But I did not.

1381
01:16:14,103 --> 01:16:15,972
Someone here
beat me to it.

1382
01:16:16,039 --> 01:16:19,809
So there's more than
one reason we was invited.

1383
01:16:19,876 --> 01:16:23,579
Twain was testing
our skills as detectives,

1384
01:16:23,647 --> 01:16:26,515
and we all have motives
for doing him in.

1385
01:16:26,582 --> 01:16:29,819
Have not yet
heard your motive,
Mr. Diamond.

1386
01:16:29,886 --> 01:16:32,588
My motive is unimportant.

1387
01:16:32,656 --> 01:16:35,925
Let's just say
I hated him enough
to kill him.

1388
01:16:35,992 --> 01:16:38,561
You are closed man,
Mr. Diamond.

1389
01:16:38,628 --> 01:16:41,164
You hide many things.

1390
01:16:41,230 --> 01:16:45,534
Could it be that
Mr. Twain discover
your secret?

1391
01:16:45,601 --> 01:16:48,471
I don't know
what you're
talking about.

1392
01:16:48,537 --> 01:16:51,540
We know different,
do we not,
Miss Skeffington?

1393
01:16:55,511 --> 01:16:58,014
Twain met Sam
in a gay bar.

1394
01:16:58,081 --> 01:17:01,384
I was working on a case.
Working!

1395
01:17:01,450 --> 01:17:03,787
Every night
for six months?

1396
01:17:03,853 --> 01:17:05,822
For 50 bucks a day
and expenses.

1397
01:17:05,889 --> 01:17:08,658
I hate them queeries.

1398
01:17:08,725 --> 01:17:13,697
Twain had
Polaroid pictures
of Sam in drag.

1399
01:17:13,763 --> 01:17:15,531
I was in disguise.

1400
01:17:15,598 --> 01:17:17,701
Lots of dames
go in those joints.

1401
01:17:17,767 --> 01:17:19,869
I never kissed nobody.

1402
01:17:19,936 --> 01:17:23,206
I never did nothing to
a man that I wouldn't
do to a woman.

1403
01:17:23,272 --> 01:17:25,274
And I never killed Twain.

1404
01:17:28,411 --> 01:17:29,578
Bitch.

1405
01:17:30,379 --> 01:17:32,215
Most interesting.

1406
01:17:32,281 --> 01:17:36,485
All had
perfect motives
for killing Twain.

1407
01:17:36,552 --> 01:17:39,355
Wonder which one
was one who done it.

1408
01:17:40,890 --> 01:17:43,559
We still have
the night to
get through.

1409
01:17:43,626 --> 01:17:45,594
If anyone is going to
solve this case,

1410
01:17:45,661 --> 01:17:48,097
I say we all get
a good night's sleep.

1411
01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:50,867
I suggest we all
lock our doors.

1412
01:17:50,934 --> 01:17:53,436
One of us is
a mad killer,

1413
01:17:53,502 --> 01:17:55,638
not to be trusted.

1414
01:17:55,705 --> 01:17:57,440
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

1415
01:17:59,175 --> 01:18:00,810
(DOOR LOCKS)

1416
01:18:36,946 --> 01:18:38,147
Pop?

1417
01:18:39,215 --> 01:18:40,784
Yeah?

1418
01:18:40,850 --> 01:18:43,486
Who do you think
is the murderer?

1419
01:18:43,552 --> 01:18:45,288
Must sleep on it.

1420
01:18:45,354 --> 01:18:48,825
Will know in morning
when wake up.

1421
01:18:48,892 --> 01:18:51,260
What if you
don't wake up?

1422
01:18:51,327 --> 01:18:52,929
Then you did it.

1423
01:18:53,662 --> 01:18:55,298
Go sleep, please.

1424
01:18:56,632 --> 01:18:58,234
Good night, Dad.

1425
01:18:58,301 --> 01:19:00,837
Should have
adopted pussycat.

1426
01:19:06,309 --> 01:19:09,245
(HISSING)

1427
01:19:09,312 --> 01:19:11,881
Should I turn off
the steam, Pop?

1428
01:19:11,948 --> 01:19:13,482
(HISSING CONTINUES)

1429
01:19:13,549 --> 01:19:15,885
Not steam.

1430
01:19:15,952 --> 01:19:19,622
Someone just put
deadly snake in room.

1431
01:19:19,688 --> 01:19:22,125
Wake me when
it come near bed.

1432
01:19:26,162 --> 01:19:29,632
Dickie, darling,
if you're
the murderer,

1433
01:19:29,698 --> 01:19:31,567
I'll still love you.

1434
01:19:31,634 --> 01:19:33,903
It wouldn't be right
for us to make love,

1435
01:19:33,970 --> 01:19:35,839
but I'd still
love you.

1436
01:19:35,905 --> 01:19:39,608
No fear of that.
Let's see what we have...

1437
01:19:39,675 --> 01:19:43,479
One missing, dead,
naked butler,

1438
01:19:43,546 --> 01:19:46,549
one host with
a knife in his back

1439
01:19:46,615 --> 01:19:49,452
and one poisonous
scorpion crawling
up our sheets.

1440
01:19:49,518 --> 01:19:50,887
DORA: Is that
what that is?

1441
01:19:50,954 --> 01:19:52,822
Yes. They can
kill instantly.

1442
01:19:52,889 --> 01:19:54,790
I suggest
we don't move.

1443
01:19:56,059 --> 01:19:57,693
For how long?

1444
01:19:57,760 --> 01:20:00,029
Possibly the rest
of our lives.

1445
01:20:04,767 --> 01:20:08,604
Good heavens!
I know who it is!

1446
01:20:08,671 --> 01:20:09,973
Solvey-poo?

1447
01:20:10,039 --> 01:20:11,774
Yes, Miss Withers.

1448
01:20:11,841 --> 01:20:13,977
The murderer is...

1449
01:20:14,043 --> 01:20:15,644
Good God! Gas!

1450
01:20:15,711 --> 01:20:18,347
I'm sorry.
I can't help it.
I'm old.

1451
01:20:18,414 --> 01:20:21,017
No, the other
kind of gas.

1452
01:20:21,084 --> 01:20:22,919
The kind that kills!

1453
01:20:22,986 --> 01:20:24,387
Sometimes my gas...

1454
01:20:24,453 --> 01:20:26,755
It's coming in
through the vent.

1455
01:20:30,326 --> 01:20:31,694
(COUGHING)

1456
01:20:37,233 --> 01:20:39,368
It's locked
from the outside.

1457
01:20:39,768 --> 01:20:41,104
Help!

1458
01:20:41,170 --> 01:20:44,073
It doesn't smell
that bad to me.

1459
01:20:45,408 --> 01:20:46,509
Help!

1460
01:20:59,688 --> 01:21:02,959
Did I do right, Sam,
telling them about
the gay bar?

1461
01:21:03,426 --> 01:21:05,094
Perfect.

1462
01:21:05,161 --> 01:21:07,430
They took the bait
like a dumb halibut.

1463
01:21:07,496 --> 01:21:09,198
Let them think
I'm a pansy.

1464
01:21:09,265 --> 01:21:10,633
While they're
suspecting me,

1465
01:21:10,699 --> 01:21:13,202
one of them will
let his pants down.

1466
01:21:15,604 --> 01:21:19,642
Sam, why do you keep
naked muscle-man magazines?

1467
01:21:19,708 --> 01:21:22,345
Suspects.
Always looking
for suspects.

1468
01:21:22,411 --> 01:21:24,280
(TICKING)

1469
01:21:24,347 --> 01:21:26,649
What's that
ticking sound
I hear?

1470
01:21:34,757 --> 01:21:37,626
"It is a bomb
in your room

1471
01:21:37,693 --> 01:21:40,196
"that will go off
in 30 seconds."
Signed, "The murderer."

1472
01:21:40,263 --> 01:21:41,630
Quick, Sam, the door!

1473
01:21:41,697 --> 01:21:43,699
"P.S. The door
is locked."

1474
01:21:51,140 --> 01:21:53,977
I'm sorry about this,
Tess.

1475
01:21:54,043 --> 01:21:56,212
And me owing you
all that money, too.

1476
01:21:56,279 --> 01:21:58,714
That's okay.
What can we do?

1477
01:21:58,781 --> 01:22:02,885
I got an idea.
I don't know whether
this will work.

1478
01:22:02,952 --> 01:22:05,288
Quick! Turn around!
I'm turned, Sam.

1479
01:22:05,354 --> 01:22:06,990
Whatever happens,
don't turn back.

1480
01:22:07,056 --> 01:22:08,091
But, Sam, if anything...

1481
01:22:08,157 --> 01:22:10,259
Do as I say!
I will, Sam.

1482
01:22:10,326 --> 01:22:13,329
Good, because I think
I'm gonna cry.

1483
01:22:14,230 --> 01:22:15,898
(SAM SOBBING)

1484
01:22:21,370 --> 01:22:23,272
(HUMMING)

1485
01:22:29,412 --> 01:22:31,247
What are you
doing here?

1486
01:22:31,314 --> 01:22:33,082
There's no place
else to sleep.

1487
01:22:33,149 --> 01:22:35,384
Sleep in the car,
you chauffeur.
Go, go!

1488
01:22:35,451 --> 01:22:37,020
You aren't fair.

1489
01:22:37,086 --> 01:22:38,687
I will tell everyone
about your toupee.

1490
01:22:38,754 --> 01:22:39,989
They already know.

1491
01:22:40,056 --> 01:22:41,624
Then why wear it?

1492
01:22:41,690 --> 01:22:43,659
I didn't know
you knew.

1493
01:22:43,726 --> 01:22:45,794
Certainly I know.

1494
01:22:45,861 --> 01:22:47,796
It's a terrible toupee.

1495
01:22:48,597 --> 01:22:50,333
(EXPLOSION)

1496
01:22:50,399 --> 01:22:52,668
A bomb across the hall!

1497
01:22:52,735 --> 01:22:54,503
Quickly.
The door! The door!

1498
01:23:01,277 --> 01:23:03,812
It's locked
from the outside.

1499
01:23:03,879 --> 01:23:07,516
You look taller to me.
Why is that?

1500
01:23:07,583 --> 01:23:09,885
I don't understand.
I'm not getting taller.

1501
01:23:09,952 --> 01:23:12,255
If you aren't
getting taller,

1502
01:23:12,321 --> 01:23:14,223
there is only
one alternative.

1503
01:23:14,290 --> 01:23:16,392
The room is
getting shorter.

1504
01:23:17,393 --> 01:23:18,727
(EXCLAIMS IN FRENCH)

1505
01:23:18,794 --> 01:23:20,929
The ceiling is coming down!

1506
01:23:21,930 --> 01:23:23,499
(SHRIEKING)

1507
01:23:31,274 --> 01:23:34,043
What will we do?
I don't know.

1508
01:23:34,110 --> 01:23:37,913
But this is
how they make
goose liver pate.

1509
01:23:37,980 --> 01:23:40,383
(SCREAMING)

1510
01:24:10,213 --> 01:24:12,448
Not so fast, please.

1511
01:24:12,515 --> 01:24:14,950
Do not cross out
Wang name.

1512
01:24:15,017 --> 01:24:17,853
Cross out snake
instead.

1513
01:24:18,621 --> 01:24:20,489
Nice shot, Pop.

1514
01:24:20,556 --> 01:24:23,359
Sure wish I weren't
such a heavy sleeper.

1515
01:24:23,426 --> 01:24:24,660
And now,

1516
01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:27,563
if you please,

1517
01:24:28,431 --> 01:24:32,735
$1 million,
Mr. Bensonmum.

1518
01:24:33,436 --> 01:24:34,937
Banzai, Pop!

1519
01:24:36,572 --> 01:24:38,907
Very clever of you,
Mr. Wang.

1520
01:24:38,974 --> 01:24:42,478
Oh, yes.
As you can see,
I can see.

1521
01:24:43,712 --> 01:24:45,548
So I see.

1522
01:24:45,614 --> 01:24:50,253
Tell me, how did you
deduce it was me?

1523
01:24:50,319 --> 01:24:54,157
Went back to theory
seldom used today.

1524
01:24:55,824 --> 01:24:57,426
Butler did it.

1525
01:24:58,527 --> 01:25:00,729
I hadn't thought of that.

1526
01:25:00,796 --> 01:25:04,467
How do you account for
my body in the kitchen?

1527
01:25:04,533 --> 01:25:08,904
Body made of plastic,
same as plastic cook.

1528
01:25:08,971 --> 01:25:12,308
While we examine
plastic butler,

1529
01:25:12,375 --> 01:25:15,344
you murder Lionel Twain.

1530
01:25:15,411 --> 01:25:18,414
You're a clever little
laundryman, Mr. Wang.

1531
01:25:18,481 --> 01:25:20,916
But not quite
clever enough!

1532
01:25:20,983 --> 01:25:24,019
I'll take
that $1 million,

1533
01:25:24,086 --> 01:25:27,856
Bensonmum,
alias Irving Goldman.

1534
01:25:29,825 --> 01:25:31,894
Irving Goldman?

1535
01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:37,966
Yes. Irving Goldman
was the attorney of
the late Lionel Twain.

1536
01:25:38,033 --> 01:25:40,169
Lionel Twain died
five years ago.

1537
01:25:40,236 --> 01:25:44,173
His body was recently found
in Goldman's filing cabinet.

1538
01:25:44,240 --> 01:25:47,410
Am I correct,
Mr. Goldman?

1539
01:25:47,476 --> 01:25:50,679
Yeah. Correct,
Miss Marbles.

1540
01:25:50,746 --> 01:25:54,116
But how did you
escape the poison gas?

1541
01:25:54,183 --> 01:25:56,084
Quite simple.
I covered my mouth

1542
01:25:56,151 --> 01:25:58,921
and let Miss Withers
breathe in the gas.

1543
01:26:00,289 --> 01:26:01,424
Sicky-poo.

1544
01:26:01,490 --> 01:26:03,426
Yes, dear, I know.

1545
01:26:03,492 --> 01:26:05,494
The million dollars,
please.

1546
01:26:05,561 --> 01:26:09,031
I wouldn't, Goldman.
Or is it Goldman?

1547
01:26:09,097 --> 01:26:11,934
Actually, it's
Mr. Marvin Metzler.

1548
01:26:13,736 --> 01:26:15,738
Marvin Metzler?

1549
01:26:16,772 --> 01:26:18,841
Very good, Mr. Charleston,

1550
01:26:20,108 --> 01:26:22,345
but how did you know?

1551
01:26:22,411 --> 01:26:25,013
The bill in the
dead butler's hand

1552
01:26:25,080 --> 01:26:27,616
said the entire
weekend was catered.

1553
01:26:27,683 --> 01:26:30,353
Only an accountant
would save that.

1554
01:26:30,419 --> 01:26:32,488
Get the money.
Let's go.
In a moment, darling.

1555
01:26:32,555 --> 01:26:35,123
Goldman died last month
while skiing.

1556
01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:38,227
He jumped 200 feet
into a low-flying plane.

1557
01:26:38,294 --> 01:26:40,195
I can't wait much longer.

1558
01:26:40,263 --> 01:26:43,932
You've not
lost your touch,
Mr. Charleston,

1559
01:26:43,999 --> 01:26:47,135
but how did you elude
the deadly scorpion?

1560
01:26:47,202 --> 01:26:49,472
We didn't.
He stung Dora.

1561
01:26:49,538 --> 01:26:51,274
We've 15 minutes
to get help.

1562
01:26:51,340 --> 01:26:54,343
Explain later, Dickie.
We'll make it, darling.
Never fear.

1563
01:26:54,410 --> 01:26:55,744
The money,
Mr. Metzler?

1564
01:26:55,811 --> 01:26:58,046
PERRIER: Belongs to me,
monsieur!

1565
01:26:58,113 --> 01:27:01,717
Marcel is one
of the world's
strongest men.

1566
01:27:01,784 --> 01:27:06,555
He stopped your ceiling
from crushing us
at 4'5".

1567
01:27:06,622 --> 01:27:10,793
It may be months before
we straighten up again,

1568
01:27:10,859 --> 01:27:14,763
but $1 million will buy
a lot of back braces.

1569
01:27:17,165 --> 01:27:19,735
Right, Miss Irene Twain,

1570
01:27:19,802 --> 01:27:21,570
daughter of Lionel?

1571
01:27:22,004 --> 01:27:23,105
What?

1572
01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:27,142
I prefer to
be called Rita.

1573
01:27:30,513 --> 01:27:31,980
How did you know?

1574
01:27:32,047 --> 01:27:36,285
Never underestimate
a Frenchman's nostrils,
Miss Twain.

1575
01:27:36,352 --> 01:27:41,156
At dinner tonight,
I smelled your
Chanel No. 5.

1576
01:27:41,223 --> 01:27:43,659
It was you
who did away
with all of them!

1577
01:27:43,726 --> 01:27:47,596
Metzler, Goldman
and your father.

1578
01:27:47,663 --> 01:27:49,298
In fact,
if you had your way,

1579
01:27:49,365 --> 01:27:51,667
you'd like to do
away with all men,

1580
01:27:51,734 --> 01:27:53,369
wouldn't you,
Miss Twain?

1581
01:27:53,436 --> 01:27:56,939
Men have
made you ashamed
and made you suffer

1582
01:27:57,005 --> 01:28:00,543
because you were
born with brains,
talent, money,

1583
01:28:00,609 --> 01:28:04,046
everything but what
you most desired,

1584
01:28:04,112 --> 01:28:06,281
beauty.

1585
01:28:06,349 --> 01:28:10,486
Miss Twain, as a man,
you are barely passable,

1586
01:28:10,553 --> 01:28:12,555
but as a woman,

1587
01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:14,990
you are a dog.

1588
01:28:15,057 --> 01:28:17,793
That's your opinion,
big boy.

1589
01:28:20,295 --> 01:28:22,297
And now my money,
please.

1590
01:28:22,365 --> 01:28:27,069
With luck, I can still
arrive at Maxim's
in time for dinner.

1591
01:28:27,135 --> 01:28:29,538
SAM: Just order
a tuna sandwich!

1592
01:28:29,605 --> 01:28:31,807
That dough
belongs to me.

1593
01:28:31,874 --> 01:28:34,276
I'm alive
and kicking.

1594
01:28:34,343 --> 01:28:36,745
Miss Skeffington
dropped your bomb
down the toilet.

1595
01:28:36,812 --> 01:28:38,981
It exploded
as she flushed.

1596
01:28:39,047 --> 01:28:40,916
The seat barely
missed her head.

1597
01:28:40,983 --> 01:28:42,685
(COUGHING)

1598
01:28:42,751 --> 01:28:44,587
I'm all right, J.J.

1599
01:28:45,388 --> 01:28:46,489
J.J.?

1600
01:28:49,992 --> 01:28:52,795
That's right, folks.
He outsmarted us all.

1601
01:28:54,262 --> 01:28:58,501
The real Sam Diamond
is behind that desk.

1602
01:28:58,567 --> 01:29:01,437
My name is Loomis,
J.J. Loomis.
I'm an actor.

1603
01:29:01,504 --> 01:29:03,439
I do impressions.

1604
01:29:03,506 --> 01:29:07,142
I've done the Carson Show
six times.

1605
01:29:07,209 --> 01:29:09,745
Diamond hired me
for the weekend.

1606
01:29:09,812 --> 01:29:11,947
Miss Skeffington
is Vilma Norman,

1607
01:29:12,014 --> 01:29:14,883
a cocktail waitress
at the waterbed motel.

1608
01:29:15,518 --> 01:29:18,253
Hi.
Hello.

1609
01:29:18,320 --> 01:29:21,490
Diamond hated all of you.
You all earned big money.

1610
01:29:21,557 --> 01:29:24,760
Diamond had that crummy
San Francisco office.

1611
01:29:24,827 --> 01:29:28,330
If he proved he was best,
he'd get your rich clients.

1612
01:29:28,397 --> 01:29:31,133
But since I figured it out,

1613
01:29:32,635 --> 01:29:35,871
I figure that money
belongs to me.

1614
01:29:37,506 --> 01:29:39,708
Isn't that right,
Mr. Diamond?

1615
01:29:42,411 --> 01:29:43,579
Wrong.

1616
01:29:45,280 --> 01:29:48,350
That would have
been too obvious.

1617
01:29:48,417 --> 01:29:51,487
My dear colleagues,
what you all seem
to overlook

1618
01:29:51,554 --> 01:29:53,656
is the most
simple solution.

1619
01:29:54,457 --> 01:29:56,425
I am indeed

1620
01:29:56,492 --> 01:29:57,960
Lionel Twain.

1621
01:29:59,194 --> 01:30:00,596
(ALL GASP)

1622
01:30:01,930 --> 01:30:06,201
You've all been
so clever for so long,

1623
01:30:06,268 --> 01:30:08,604
you've forgotten
to be humble.

1624
01:30:08,671 --> 01:30:12,274
You've tricked and
fooled your readers
for years.

1625
01:30:12,340 --> 01:30:16,111
You've tortured us
with surprise endings
that made no sense.

1626
01:30:16,178 --> 01:30:18,914
You've introduced
characters in
the last chapter

1627
01:30:18,981 --> 01:30:21,884
that weren't in
the book before.

1628
01:30:21,950 --> 01:30:25,387
You've left out clues
and information

1629
01:30:25,454 --> 01:30:29,224
that we needed to
guess who did it.

1630
01:30:29,291 --> 01:30:32,595
But now the tables
are turned.

1631
01:30:33,896 --> 01:30:37,099
Millions of angry
mystery readers

1632
01:30:37,165 --> 01:30:40,603
are now getting
their revenge.

1633
01:30:40,669 --> 01:30:44,139
When the world learns
I've outsmarted you,

1634
01:30:44,206 --> 01:30:48,611
they'll be selling your
$1.95 books for 12 cents.

1635
01:30:48,677 --> 01:30:51,780
It's check-out time,
ladies and gentlemen.

1636
01:30:51,847 --> 01:30:53,816
I have your bills ready.

1637
01:30:55,584 --> 01:30:57,786
Credit cards
will be accepted.

1638
01:31:19,141 --> 01:31:21,309
The scorpion
was a fake?

1639
01:31:21,376 --> 01:31:23,278
Everything.
The bridge,
the maid.

1640
01:31:23,345 --> 01:31:26,081
You're sure
about the scorpion?

1641
01:31:26,148 --> 01:31:28,216
Positive.
Even the fog.

1642
01:31:28,283 --> 01:31:31,253
He made the fog
with dry ice. Look.

1643
01:31:31,319 --> 01:31:33,188
How awfully
unromantic!

1644
01:31:39,895 --> 01:31:42,197
If he was
Lionel Twain,

1645
01:31:42,264 --> 01:31:44,833
you must really
be Sam Diamond.

1646
01:31:45,801 --> 01:31:47,335
Right.

1647
01:31:47,402 --> 01:31:50,405
I was in disguise,
in disguise, in disguise.

1648
01:31:50,472 --> 01:31:53,275
You work hard
in this racket.

1649
01:31:53,341 --> 01:31:56,712
Will we be seeing
each other again?

1650
01:31:56,779 --> 01:31:59,982
Well, that depends.
I'll be around
if you need me.

1651
01:32:01,216 --> 01:32:03,351
All you got to
do is whistle.

1652
01:32:05,187 --> 01:32:07,522
You do know
how to whistle?

1653
01:32:07,590 --> 01:32:09,057
Certainly.
What do you mean?

1654
01:32:09,124 --> 01:32:12,127
Never mind.
You ruined it.

1655
01:32:16,364 --> 01:32:19,602
I don't understand.
Was there a murder?

1656
01:32:19,668 --> 01:32:22,070
Yes. Killed good weekend.

1657
01:32:22,137 --> 01:32:23,606
Drive, please.

1658
01:32:59,074 --> 01:33:01,509
(LAUGHING)