1
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:24,101
You must do your best tonight
Be on your toes, men

2
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:27,396
There's another guest tonight
It's one of those men

3
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,566
Who are being feted
by the smart set.

4
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,777
We'll see that he gets
what he deserves

5
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:37,197
Treat him as they do
a king in manner royal

6
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:40,534
Like a subject to a king
you must be loyal

7
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:43,829
On this object you must
have your heart set

8
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,623
We'll do nothing
to get on his nerves

9
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:49,960
Again I mention
Be on your toes, men

10
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:53,088
He craves attention
He's one of those men

11
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,216
Yes, sir, we will give him
just what he deserves

12
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:10,189
Oh, Hives? Oh, yes, Mrs.
Rittenhouse?

13
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,608
I'd like to make a few changes
in the assignment of the rooms.

14
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:13,692
Very good, madam.

15
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,528
Suppose you put Mr.
Chandler in the blue suite.

16
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,364
And Captain Spaulding,
as guest of honor,

17
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,991
will have the green duplex
with the two baths.

18
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,159
Two, madam?

19
00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:23,285
Why, yes.

20
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:26,580
I think the Captain would
like two baths, don't you?

21
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:30,751
Well, if he's just returned from
Africa, he may need two baths.

22
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:34,129
Mr. Roscoe W. Chandler.

23
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,925
Mrs. Rittenhouse,
well!

24
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:41,637
Mr. Chandler.

25
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,847
So nice
to see you.

26
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,600
The famous Beaugard,
as I have promised.

27
00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:49,645
Mr. Chandler, how can I
ever express my gratitude?

28
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:52,314
Oh, it's nothing.
Nothing?

29
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:57,027
You return from Europe with a
masterpiece valued at $100,000,

30
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,363
and instead of
displaying it yourself,

31
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:03,117
you allow me to unveil it at my party
in honor of Captain Spaulding.

32
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,868
You call
that nothing?

33
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,787
Mrs. Rittenhouse,
I...

34
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:10,040
Uh, will you please
remove that to the place

35
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,250
where it is
to be exhibited?

36
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:14,503
Very good, sir. And uh,
very careful, please.

37
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,714
Mrs. Rittenhouse, you
think that is something?

38
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:21,176
It is nothing compared to what
I would like to do for you.

39
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,804
You are a very
beautiful woman.

40
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,973
No, no,
Mr. Chandler.

41
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,891
Well, maybe I'm wrong.

42
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,601
What?

43
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,521
Please, do not go,
Mrs. Rittenhouse,

44
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,064
I love you.
I know, but...

45
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,316
Do not take away your hand.
I tell you, I love you.

46
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,360
Careful...
Hello, Mother.

47
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:39,945
Playing house?

48
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,490
Well, uh,
if you'll pardon me.

49
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,742
Have you seen
Johnny Parker?

50
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,911
I wish you'd get Johnny
Parker out of your mind

51
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,289
and show more respect
to Mr. Chandler.

52
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:53,959
The trouble with you is you don't
take these social affairs seriously.

53
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:57,087
What would you
suggest, Mom? Suicide?

54
00:04:57,172 --> 00:05:00,424
I would suggest...

55
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,802
Mrs. Rittenhouse, Captain
Spaulding has arrived!

56
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,847
Splendid.
Oh, I'm so glad.

57
00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:09,892
My friends, Captain
Spaulding has arrived.

58
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:13,437
At last we are to meet him
The famous Captain Spaulding

59
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,857
From climates hot and scalding
The Captain has arrived

60
00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:20,486
Most heartily we'll greet him
with plain and fancy cheering

61
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,989
Until he's hard of hearing
The Captain has arrived

62
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:27,117
At last the Captain

63
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:32,998
Has arrived

64
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,834
Mr. Horatio W. Jamison,

65
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:38,545
field secretary
to Captain Spaulding.

66
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,848
I represent the Captain who
insists on my informing you

67
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,851
Of these conditions under
which he camps here

68
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:56,480
In one thing he is very strict he
wants his women young and thin

69
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:59,733
And as for men, he won't
have any tramps here

70
00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:02,653
And as for men, he won't
have any tramps here

71
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:05,906
There must be no tramps

72
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,535
The men must all be very old the
women warm, the champagne cold

73
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,579
It's under these conditions
that he camps here

74
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,500
I'm announcing
Captain Geoffrey Spaulding

75
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:20,379
He's announcing
Captain Geoffrey Spaulding

76
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:23,465
Oh, dear, he is coming

77
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:27,928
At last he's here

78
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:54,538
Well, what
do I owe you?

79
00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:01,003
What? From Africa to here, $1.85?
That's an outrage.

80
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,547
I told you not to take me through
Australia. You know it's all ripped up.

81
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:04,840
You should have come right
up Lincoln Boulevard.

82
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,049
Where do you come
to that stuff?

83
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,010
Turn around the rear end, I
wanna see your license plates.

84
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,845
I don't think, you're on the square.
Oh, Captain Spaulding.

85
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,222
I'll attend to you later.
Oh, Captain Spaulding.

86
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,600
Why you're one of the most
beautiful women I've ever seen.

87
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:17,227
That's not saying much for you.
Captain Spaulding,

88
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,479
Rittenhouse Manor is
entirely at your disposal.

89
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:23,984
Well, I'm certainly grateful for this
magnificent washout. Uh, "turnout," and uh,

90
00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:25,777
now I'd like
to say a few words.

91
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,780
Hello
I must be going

92
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,950
I cannot stay, I came
to say I must be going

93
00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:36,288
I'm glad I came, but just the
same I must be going... La la

94
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:38,332
For my sake
you must stay

95
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:43,045
If you should go away you'd
spoil this party I am throwing

96
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,047
I'll stay a week or two

97
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,674
I'll stay
the summer through

98
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,552
But I am telling you

99
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:54,598
I must be going.

100
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:58,310
Before you go
will you oblige us

101
00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:02,356
And tell us of
your deeds so glowing

102
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,317
I'll do anything you say
In fact, I'll even stay

103
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:06,443
Good

104
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:11,698
But I must be going

105
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,119
There's something
that I'd like to say

106
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:18,246
That he's too modest
to relate

107
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,875
The Captain is a moral man
Sometimes he finds it trying

108
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:23,960
This fact I'll emphasize
with stress

109
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,129
I never take a drink unless

110
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,714
Somebody's buying

111
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:30,300
The Captain
is a very moral man

112
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:34,179
If he hears anything obscene
he'll naturally repel it

113
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:36,264
I hate a dirty joke
I do

114
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:40,936
Unless it's told by someone
who knows how to tell it

115
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,106
The Captain
is a very moral man

116
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:47,150
Hooray for Captain Spaulding
the African explorer

117
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:48,610
Did someone
call me Schnorer

118
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,737
Hooray, hooray, hooray

119
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,743
He went into the jungles where
all the monkeys throw nuts

120
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,328
If I stay here
I'll go nuts

121
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,622
Hooray, hooray, hooray

122
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,378
He put all his reliance
in courage and defiance

123
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:07,921
And risked his life
for science

124
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,464
Hey, hey

125
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,759
He is the only white man
who covered every acre

126
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,553
I think I'll try and make her

127
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,471
Hooray, hooray, hooray

128
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:32,112
He put all his reliance
in courage and defiance

129
00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,822
And risked his life
for science

130
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,866
Hey, hey

131
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,785
Hooray for Captain
Spaulding the African explorer

132
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,495
He brought his name
undying fame

133
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:47,377
And that is why we say
hooray, hooray, hooray

134
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:51,757
My friends, I'm highly gratified at
this magnificent display of effusion.

135
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:52,841
And I want you to know...

136
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,552
Hooray for Captain Spaulding
the African explorer

137
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:58,805
He brought his name undying
fame And that is why we say

138
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:03,977
Hooray, hooray, hooray

139
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:07,773
My friends, I'm highly gratified at
this magnificent display of effusion.

140
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:08,940
And I want you to know...

141
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,610
Hooray for Captain Spaulding
the African explorer

142
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:14,905
He brought his name undying
fame And that is why we say

143
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:20,368
Hooray, hooray, hooray

144
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:24,080
My friends, I'm highly gratified at
this magnificent display of effusion.

145
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,290
I want you to know...

146
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,751
Hooray for Captain Spaulding
the African explorer

147
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,378
Well, somebody's got to do it!
Captain Spaulding?

148
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:34,090
It is indeed a great honor to
welcome you to my poor home.

149
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,426
Oh, it isn't so bad.
Needless to say...

150
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,261
Wait a minute, I think you're right.
It is pretty bad.

151
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,181
As a matter of fact, it's one of the
frowsiest looking joints I've ever seen.

152
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,933
Why, Captain... Where did
you get your wallpaper?

153
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:45,185
You're letting this place run
down, and what's the result?

154
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,270
You're not getting the class
of people that you used to.

155
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,272
Why, you've got people
here that look like you!

156
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:52,651
Now, I'll tell you what to do. We'll put up a
sign outside, "Place under new management."

157
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,362
We'll set up a 75-cent meal
that will knock their eyes out.

158
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,656
After we knock their eyes out, we
can charge them anything we want.

159
00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:00,700
Now sign here and give me
your check for $1,500.

160
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:01,993
I want to
tell you, madam,

161
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,411
with this
insurance policy,

162
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,248
you've provided for your little
ones and for your old age...

163
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,083
Which will be here in
a couple of weeks now,

164
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,584
if I'm any judge
of horseflesh.

165
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,878
And now, madam, "I feel that the
time has come," the walrus...

166
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:14,464
Captain Spaulding!
Captain Spaulding!

167
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:18,051
You stand before me as one of
the bravest men of all times.

168
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:19,803
All right,
I'll do that.

169
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:21,721
In the dark forests
of Africa,

170
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:24,099
there has been no danger
you have not dared.

171
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,017
You mind if
I don't smoke?

172
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:29,187
Fearlessly, you have
blazed new trails,

173
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:33,233
scornful of the lion's roar
and the cannibal's tom-tom.

174
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:34,818
Says you!

175
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:39,281
Never once in all those weary
months did your footsteps falter.

176
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,658
Cowardice is
unknown to you.

177
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:44,286
Fear is not in you!

178
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,746
Oh, pardon me,
a caterpillar...

179
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,457
Put him over here.

180
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,543
Oh, it must have been the
caterpillar that frightened him.

181
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:52,836
Oh, dear.
This is unfortunate.

182
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,754
Don't stand there.
Get the whiskey!

183
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:58,800
Get the whiskey. The whiskey? The whiskey?
Where is the whiskey?

184
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:01,094
It's in my little black bag
in the right-hand corner.

185
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,103
Signor Emanuel Ravelli.

186
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,073
How do you do?
How do you do?

187
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,284
Where's the dining room?
I'm surprised.

188
00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:26,369
Say, I used to know a fellow
who looked exactly like you,

189
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,121
by the name of, uh,
Emanuel Ravelli.

190
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:30,081
Are you his brother?
I am Emanuel Ravelli.

191
00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:32,876
You're Emanuel Ravelli?
I'm Emanuel Ravelli.

192
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,713
Well, no wonder you look like him,
but I insist there is a resemblance.

193
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:39,799
Hey,
he thinks I look alike.

194
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:42,510
Well, If you do, it's a tough
break for both of you.

195
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,764
You are one of the musicians, but
you were not due until tomorrow.

196
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,183
Couldn't come tomorrow.
That's too quick.

197
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:49,851
So, you're lucky they
didn't come yesterday.

198
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:53,104
We were busy yesterday,
but we charge just the same.

199
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:54,898
This is better
than exploring.

200
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,149
What do you fellows
get an hour?

201
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,401
Oh, for playing,
we get a $10 an hour.

202
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,403
I see. What do you
get for not playing?

203
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:01,988
$12 an hour.

204
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,115
Well, clip me off
a piece of that.

205
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:08,286
Now, for rehearsing, we make
special rate, that's $15 an hour.

206
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:09,996
That's for rehearsing? Yes,
that's for rehearsing.

207
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:13,083
And what do you get for not rehearsing?
You couldn't afford it.

208
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:17,253
You see, If we don't
rehearse, we don't play.

209
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:20,924
- And If we don't play...
- That runs into money.

210
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,760
How much will you want to
run into an open manhole?

211
00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:25,470
Just the
cover charge.

212
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:30,475
Drop in sometime.
Sewer.

213
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,769
Oh, we cleaned
that up pretty well.

214
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,230
Well, let's see
how we stand.

215
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:36,564
Flat-footed.

216
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,525
Yesterday
we didn't come.

217
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,735
You remember, yesterday we didn't come.
Oh, I remember.

218
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,362
Yeah, that's $300.

219
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:45,281
Yesterday you didn't come. That's $300?
That's $300.

220
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,367
That's reasonable. I can
see that, all right.

221
00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:49,369
Now, today we did come.
That's, uh...

222
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,371
That's $100 you owe us.

223
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:53,540
Hey, I bet I'm gonna
lose on the deal.

224
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:57,419
Tomorrow we leave. That's worth about...
A million dollars.

225
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,754
Yeah, that's all right for
me, but I got a partner.

226
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,172
What?
Partner?

227
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,258
The Professor!

228
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:26,031
The gates swung open
and a Fig Newton entered.

229
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,450
How do you do?

230
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,660
Goodness!

231
00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:46,509
You haven't got
chocolate, have you?

232
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,846
He's got everything.

233
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:53,308
Hives, take the
Professor's hat and coat.

234
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,351
And send for
the fumigators.

235
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:56,519
Oh, my goodness!

236
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,773
Bonjour!

237
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,735
Hey, don't you see. There are ladies
present. What do you think this is?

238
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,987
Put that hat down. Will you?
What you do there?

239
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,197
Get out.

240
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,615
Don't go near those guns!

241
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:19,018
A little more
to the right.

242
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,020
Ah-ah,
that's better.

243
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,824
Now, see that
the drape is well-hung.

244
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,243
The mistress will inspect
it before the unveiling.

245
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:36,870
Hello, Hives!

246
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:39,914
Mrs. Whitehead,
this is a surprise.

247
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,041
And how about me?
Miss Grace,

248
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,668
you've grown so
in the last year.

249
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:46,963
You haven't lost
any weight, yourself.

250
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:48,965
No. Unfortunately not.

251
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,466
You know, Hives,
it seems strange

252
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,969
to find you working here
instead of in our own home.

253
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:54,721
Well, after you
left for Europe,

254
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,307
Mrs. Rittenhouse was good
enough to make me an offer.

255
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,474
Lovely!

256
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,810
Oh, by the way, Hives,

257
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,812
what's the secret
about the painting?

258
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,982
No secret. It's Beaugard's
After the Hunt.

259
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:07,192
The original?

260
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,735
Most original.

261
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,696
Be careful!

262
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,033
Where did she get hold
of that, do you suppose?

263
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:18,494
Is it very valuable? Is it?
It must be worth a fortune.

264
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:23,166
But sis, it looks as if we yield the social
honors of the season to Mrs. Rittenhouse.

265
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,001
Well, isn't there
something we can do?

266
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,711
We might shoot ourselves.

267
00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:28,838
I'd rather shoot
Mrs. Rittenhouse.

268
00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,257
Say, I have an idea.

269
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:34,093
I copied that painting
in art school a year ago.

270
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:35,970
Well, what of it?

271
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,601
But, I still
don't get it.

272
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:43,519
I'll go home
and get the copy.

273
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,271
We'll substitute it
for the original.

274
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,941
And when she unveils it,
what'll she have?

275
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:51,194
An imitation, and I must
admit, a very poor one.

276
00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:52,695
Grace,
you're wonderful.

277
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,364
That's what
I've been telling you.

278
00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:56,616
I won't be long.

279
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,451
All right.
See you later.

280
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,749
Oh, Hives?

281
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,461
Do you still feel there's
a strong bond between us?

282
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:11,047
Why most certainly,
Mrs. Whitehead.

283
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:12,715
Strong enough for you
to do me a big favor?

284
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,259
Why, anything at all.

285
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:15,468
Well,

286
00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:19,055
suppose I were to ask you
to take away the Beaugard?

287
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,432
What? You mean... Oh, just
temporarily, of course.

288
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:24,227
And substitute
something of my own.

289
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:27,230
Well, I should consider it
rather an unusual request.

290
00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:28,439
It is, Hives.

291
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:31,609
But somehow I still think of
you as one of the Whiteheads.

292
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:35,071
You may count on me.

293
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,740
My soul is yours.

294
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,659
Even though my body

295
00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:41,494
may belong to
Mrs. Rittenhouse.

296
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,204
Why, Hives?

297
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:47,834
Oh, Mrs. Whitehead.
Arabella!

298
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,169
May I present,
Mr. Parker?

299
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,338
Oh, of the
Massachusetts Parkers?

300
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:55,550
Why, no. Oh, then the
southern Parkers?

301
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,511
Oh, no!
The central Parkers.

302
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,930
You know, the,
uh, benches and trees.

303
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:02,682
I see!

304
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:08,271
Oh! I don't like
that woman.

305
00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:10,064
Well, never mind.
You come over here

306
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,816
and sit down and tell
me whom you do like.

307
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:14,360
Oh! So,
that's your game.

308
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:16,321
Now, listen,

309
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,156
do you
really love me?

310
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,616
Why don't you marry me
and find out.

311
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,328
Marry you? Ha! On what? Hmm.

312
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,496
Last year,
I sold two paintings.

313
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,582
One at $100
and one at $50.

314
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:30,043
Could we live
on $150 a year?

315
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,253
Oh, we wouldn't
need any money!

316
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:36,466
I've got a charge account
in every shop on 5th Avenue.

317
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:40,094
Well, if I
had any brains,

318
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,638
I'd give up painting
and get a regular job.

319
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,601
You know, I had a cousin who made
$50,000 on Wall Street last year.

320
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:49,228
Oh, I don't want
to marry your cousin.

321
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:52,190
I'm a darn fool.
I want to marry you.

322
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:54,525
Say,

323
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:58,112
why don't we get that old bluff,
Chandler, to buy a portrait from you?

324
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,324
Chandler? Ha! What does
he know about art?

325
00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:04,827
Well, the less he knows, the easier
it will be for you to sell him.

326
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,872
They're right upstairs.
You can't miss them.

327
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:09,499
Go around to
the other side.

328
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:13,669
Mrs. Rittenhouse?

329
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:19,342
Oh, Captain Spaulding,
how are you?

330
00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:23,596
Tell me,
are you alone?

331
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,349
Captain,
I don't understand.

332
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:27,975
What? You don't
understand being alone?

333
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,103
Don't give me that innocent
stuff or you'll be alone!

334
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,272
A big cluck like you
turning cute on me!

335
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,112
Mrs. Rittenhouse?
Yes?

336
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,155
Oh, pardon me.

337
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,199
You've been affected like
this yourself, haven't you?

338
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:45,993
Oh,
no, Captain.

339
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,286
Well, you will be.

340
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:50,581
Mrs. Rittenhouse,
ever since I met you,

341
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,042
I've swept you
off my feet.

342
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:54,877
Something has been
throbbing within me.

343
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:58,756
Oh, it's been beating like the incessant
tom-tom in the primitive jungle.

344
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,425
There's something
that I must ask you.

345
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,135
What is it,
Captain?

346
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:04,887
Would you wash out
a pair of socks for me?

347
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,973
Captain,
I'm surprised.

348
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,809
Well, that maybe surprise you, but
it's been on my mind for weeks.

349
00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:12,145
It's just my way of telling you
that I love you. That's all.

350
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:13,354
I love you. I...
Captain...

351
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:17,400
Mrs. Whitehead. I beg your pardon.
I beg your pardon.

352
00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:18,568
Am I intruding?

353
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,027
Are you intruding?

354
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,238
Just when I had her
on the five-yard line.

355
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,782
I should say
you are intruding!

356
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:26,784
I should say you are intruding!
Pardon me,

357
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:29,745
I was using the subjunctive
instead of the past tense.

358
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,540
Yes, we're way past tents.
We're living in bungalows now.

359
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,542
This is a mechanical age,
of course.

360
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:35,751
Mrs. Whitehead,

361
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,920
you haven't met Captain
Spaulding, have you?

362
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:40,590
Why, no. I haven't.
How are you?

363
00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:41,716
How are you?

364
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,718
I'm fine, thank you.
And how are you?

365
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:45,553
And how are you?

366
00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:47,763
That leaves you
one up.

367
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:51,058
Did anyone ever tell you
you had beautiful eyes?

368
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,226
No.

369
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,229
Well, you have.
And so have you!

370
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:57,356
He shot her a glance.

371
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,526
As a smile played
around his lips.

372
00:22:02,070 --> 00:22:03,279
Yes. I don't think
I've ever seen

373
00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,448
four more beautiful eyes
in my life.

374
00:22:05,532 --> 00:22:07,116
Well, three, anyway.

375
00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:08,493
You know, you two girls
have everything.

376
00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:11,954
You're tall and short, and slim
and stout, blonde and brunette,

377
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:14,540
and that's just the
kind of a girl I crave!

378
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,709
We three would make
an ideal couple.

379
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:18,794
Why, you've got beauty,
charm, money.

380
00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:20,171
You have that money,
haven't you?

381
00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:22,548
Because, if you haven't,
we can quit right now.

382
00:22:22,633 --> 00:22:24,509
The Captain is charming,
isn't he?

383
00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,302
I'm fascinated.

384
00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:28,804
I'm fascinated, too.
Right on the arm.

385
00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:32,266
Fascinated.
Whim-wham.

386
00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:36,145
If I were Eugene O'Neill, I could tell
you what I really think of you two.

387
00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:37,313
You know,
you're very fortunate

388
00:22:37,397 --> 00:22:39,357
the theater guild
isn't putting this on.

389
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:40,858
And so is the guild.

390
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:45,863
Pardon me while I have
a strange interlude.

391
00:22:47,824 --> 00:22:50,409
Why, you couple of baboons,

392
00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:52,995
what makes you think
I'd marry either one of you?

393
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,498
Strange how the wind
blows tonight.

394
00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:58,918
It has a thin, eerie voice.
Reminds me of poor old Marsden.

395
00:22:59,002 --> 00:23:01,671
How happy I could be
with either of these two

396
00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:04,257
if both of them
just went away.

397
00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:07,009
Well, what do
you say, girls?

398
00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:08,511
What do you say?
Will you marry me?

399
00:23:08,595 --> 00:23:10,137
But, Captain,
which one of us?

400
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:13,516
Both of you. Let's all get married.
This is my party.

401
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,143
Party. Party.

402
00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:19,063
Here I am talking
of parties.

403
00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:21,607
I came down here for a party.
What happens?

404
00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:24,443
Nothing.
Not even ice cream.

405
00:23:25,445 --> 00:23:28,030
The gods look down
and laugh.

406
00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:29,782
This would be a better
world for children

407
00:23:29,866 --> 00:23:31,951
if the parents had
to eat the spinach.

408
00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:35,371
Well, what do
you say, girls?

409
00:23:35,455 --> 00:23:37,665
What do you say? Are we
all going to get married?

410
00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:39,458
All of us?
All of us!

411
00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:40,876
But that's bigamy.

412
00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:42,712
Yes, and it's
big of me, too!

413
00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:45,172
It's big of all of us.
Let's be big for a change.

414
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,341
I'm sick of these
conventional marriages.

415
00:23:47,467 --> 00:23:49,468
One woman and one man was good
enough for your grandmother,

416
00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:51,220
but who wants to marry
your grandmother?

417
00:23:51,305 --> 00:23:53,556
Nobody. Not even
your grandfather.

418
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,850
Think of the honeymoon,
strictly private.

419
00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:57,852
I wouldn't let another
woman in on this.

420
00:23:57,936 --> 00:23:59,812
Well, maybe one or two,
but no men.

421
00:23:59,896 --> 00:24:01,647
I may not go, myself.

422
00:24:01,732 --> 00:24:04,400
Are you suggesting
companionate marriage?

423
00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:05,651
Well, it's got advantages.

424
00:24:05,736 --> 00:24:06,777
You could live
with your folks,

425
00:24:06,862 --> 00:24:08,821
and I could live
with your folks.

426
00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:12,825
And you, you could
sell Fuller Brushes.

427
00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,661
Living with
your folks.

428
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:18,831
Living with your folks,
the beginning of the end.

429
00:24:18,915 --> 00:24:22,251
Drab dead yesterdays shutting
out beautiful tomorrows.

430
00:24:22,336 --> 00:24:26,714
Hideous stumbling footsteps creaking
along the misty corridors of time.

431
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,258
In those corridors,
I see figures,

432
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:32,970
strange figures,
weird figures.

433
00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:36,390
Steel 186,
anaconda 74,

434
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,893
American Can 138.

435
00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:42,104
Well, let's see.
Where were we?

436
00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:44,190
Oh, yes! We were
about to get married.

437
00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:46,817
Well, what do you think? Do you think
we really ought to get married?

438
00:24:47,069 --> 00:24:49,904
I think marriage is a
very noble institution.

439
00:24:52,866 --> 00:24:54,784
It's the foundation
of the American home.

440
00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:56,994
Yes, but the trouble is
you can't enforce it.

441
00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:58,663
It was put over on
the American people...

442
00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:00,414
While our boys
were over there...

443
00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:03,292
...and while our girls
were over here.

444
00:25:04,044 --> 00:25:06,754
You know that I've been waiting at
the bottom of these stairs for years

445
00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:08,506
for just such
a moment as this.

446
00:25:08,590 --> 00:25:10,716
Why, Captain,
where are you going?

447
00:25:10,801 --> 00:25:12,218
I'm sorry, ladies,
I'm sorry,

448
00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:14,512
But, uh, I'm afraid we're gonna
have to postpone the wedding

449
00:25:14,596 --> 00:25:17,181
for a few days,
maybe for a few years.

450
00:25:17,557 --> 00:25:20,059
Before I get married, I'm going
to sow a couple of wild oats.

451
00:25:22,479 --> 00:25:25,022
The Captain's so amusing.
Isn't he charming?

452
00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:28,150
So that's the famous
Beaugard, eh?

453
00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:29,860
It's a great picture,
isn't it?

454
00:25:29,945 --> 00:25:31,529
Oh, you've
seen it before?

455
00:25:31,655 --> 00:25:35,658
Seen it? I spent three days
in Paris copying it. You did?

456
00:25:35,742 --> 00:25:37,910
Well, me and a million
other young artists.

457
00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:41,997
I bet your copy was
better than any of them.

458
00:25:42,082 --> 00:25:44,583
Well, it wasn't
bad at that.

459
00:25:44,668 --> 00:25:46,961
I'll show it
to you sometime.

460
00:25:47,879 --> 00:25:49,880
Listen.
What?

461
00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:51,841
Mother's going
to unveil it tonight.

462
00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:53,467
Yeah.

463
00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:55,511
Suppose...

464
00:25:55,595 --> 00:25:59,056
Suppose when she unveils it,
it's not the Beaugard at all?

465
00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:01,016
Suppose it's yours!

466
00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:03,936
You mean, put my copy in place
of the Beaugard? Exactly.

467
00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:05,396
Well, Arabella,
you're crazy.

468
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,106
What good
would that do?

469
00:26:07,190 --> 00:26:09,734
What good? Listen.

470
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,193
They'll unveil it.

471
00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:13,529
Chandler will tell
everybody how fine it is.

472
00:26:13,613 --> 00:26:15,865
They'll all cheer
their heads off,

473
00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:18,284
and then we'll tell them
who really painted it.

474
00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:19,910
They'll say,
you're a great artist.

475
00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:22,037
You'll get six commissions
for paintings,

476
00:26:22,122 --> 00:26:25,624
and we can be married
and divorced in no time.

477
00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:27,376
Well, that sounds great.

478
00:26:27,461 --> 00:26:30,254
But what if they don't like my painting?
What then?

479
00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:33,132
Well, isn't the chance
worth taking?

480
00:26:37,846 --> 00:26:41,807
Ah, I see you're admiring my picture.
Yes, yes.

481
00:26:41,892 --> 00:26:44,435
Your picture?
Yes, my picture.

482
00:26:44,519 --> 00:26:46,437
Well, it don't look
like you.

483
00:26:46,521 --> 00:26:47,563
Hey, wait, wait.

484
00:26:47,647 --> 00:26:50,775
Someplace I met you before, because
you're face is a very familiar.

485
00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:54,195
Well, after all, I'm one of the
most well-known men in America.

486
00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:57,323
The newspapers will keep
on running my photograph.

487
00:26:57,449 --> 00:27:00,326
You're not Abe Kabbible?
Oh, nonsense!

488
00:27:03,955 --> 00:27:06,874
All right. Hey, wait. If you're
not Abe Kabbible, who are you?

489
00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:10,085
Now, please. Chandler is my
name, Roscoe W. Chandler.

490
00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:11,962
Yeah, but I don't care
about the name, you see.

491
00:27:12,047 --> 00:27:15,257
Someplace I met you before, because
your face is very familiar.

492
00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:16,550
Now, wait.
Let me see,

493
00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:18,761
Were you ever in Sing Sing?
Please!

494
00:27:18,845 --> 00:27:21,263
No, no, Sing.
I got it. I got it.

495
00:27:21,348 --> 00:27:22,681
Joliet?
Leave me alone!

496
00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:25,017
No? All right, don't run away.
Don't run away.

497
00:27:25,143 --> 00:27:28,312
Leavenworth? Oh, listen here, I
have never been in these places.

498
00:27:28,396 --> 00:27:31,023
I spend most of my time in Europe.
Europe.

499
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:32,650
I got it now.

500
00:27:33,068 --> 00:27:35,778
I know. You come
from Czechoslovakia.

501
00:27:35,862 --> 00:27:37,446
You are wrong,
I tell you...

502
00:27:37,531 --> 00:27:40,157
You come from... Hey, hey,
come here, come here.

503
00:27:40,242 --> 00:27:42,535
I tell you... Please
get away from me.

504
00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:44,119
Hey, you remember him.
Who was he?

505
00:27:44,204 --> 00:27:45,871
He comes from
Czechoslovakia.

506
00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:48,541
You are wrong, I tell you. I told
you before, you are mistaken.

507
00:27:48,625 --> 00:27:52,169
He comes from Czechoslovakia,
and I know who it is.

508
00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:54,630
That's Abie the fish peddler
from Czechoslovakia.

509
00:27:54,714 --> 00:27:56,423
Ridiculous, I tell you.
You are wrong.

510
00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:58,843
Wait, wait, wait.
We prove it.

511
00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:00,344
He had a birthmark.
Remember?

512
00:28:00,428 --> 00:28:02,972
Oh, please! What are you...
Leave me alone.

513
00:28:03,056 --> 00:28:04,807
On the arm. On the arm.
On the leg.

514
00:28:04,891 --> 00:28:07,226
On the foot, up here,
on the mustache.

515
00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:10,646
Ah-ha! There it is.
There is the birthmark.

516
00:28:10,730 --> 00:28:12,314
Abie the fish man.

517
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:14,859
I confess. I was,
I was Abie the peddler.

518
00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:17,486
Well, how did you get to be Roscoe W.
Chandler?

519
00:28:17,571 --> 00:28:19,280
Say, how did you get
to be an Italian?

520
00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:21,448
Never mind. Whose
confession is this?

521
00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:22,658
Well, boys,
for heaven's sake,

522
00:28:22,742 --> 00:28:24,243
don't say about
this to anybody,

523
00:28:24,327 --> 00:28:25,995
and I think we can
come to some agreement.

524
00:28:26,079 --> 00:28:28,873
Some arrangement which would
be, uh, mutually satisfactory.

525
00:28:28,957 --> 00:28:32,960
Money, money. Yeah.
Shall we say, uh, $500?

526
00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:35,880
Piker! $500. Well, that
is all the cash I have.

527
00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:37,256
$500?

528
00:28:37,340 --> 00:28:40,342
Well, all right. I tell you what we do.
We'll take your I.O.U.

529
00:28:40,427 --> 00:28:43,178
I've given you my best offer
and that is all you will get.

530
00:28:43,263 --> 00:28:44,889
That's all you give?
Yes.

531
00:28:44,931 --> 00:28:48,601
Abie the fish man
Abie the fish man

532
00:28:48,685 --> 00:28:51,896
Abie the fish man
Abie the fish man

533
00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,856
Please be quiet,
quiet!

534
00:28:53,940 --> 00:28:55,774
Please. Now, come here.
Now, listen here.

535
00:28:55,859 --> 00:28:58,986
I have here a check for $5,000.
Now, I give it to you. Yeah?

536
00:28:59,112 --> 00:29:01,697
Hey. Is it good? Well,
of course it is good.

537
00:29:01,781 --> 00:29:03,407
Who would give me
a bad check?

538
00:29:03,491 --> 00:29:04,742
I would.

539
00:29:04,826 --> 00:29:06,619
Hey, see if it's good.

540
00:29:11,958 --> 00:29:13,375
All right, if you
don't want the check,

541
00:29:13,460 --> 00:29:14,710
then that is all
you will get.

542
00:29:14,794 --> 00:29:16,170
That's all we get?
Yeah.

543
00:29:16,254 --> 00:29:19,548
Abie the fish man Abie the
fish man Please, quiet!

544
00:29:19,633 --> 00:29:23,052
Abie the fish man Abie
the fish man Quiet!

545
00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:25,095
Abie the fish man

546
00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:28,140
Here! Give me
that handkerchief.

547
00:29:28,642 --> 00:29:31,477
My tie! Where is my tie? I...

548
00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:34,355
You're nothing but a pair of thieves.
That's all.

549
00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:38,233
I get a the tie.
Well, what do you got?

550
00:29:38,568 --> 00:29:40,611
The birthmark!

551
00:29:44,324 --> 00:29:45,991
Hey, hey,
where's your tie?

552
00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:47,409
Well, I...

553
00:29:47,494 --> 00:29:48,661
That's a fine way
for a millionaire

554
00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:50,329
to be running around,
open at the neck.

555
00:29:50,455 --> 00:29:53,290
Have you got garters? Of
course, I have garters. Here.

556
00:29:53,416 --> 00:29:56,168
Oh! They've taken my garters, too!
A likely story.

557
00:29:56,252 --> 00:29:58,712
Turning collegiate on me, eh?
Have you got socks?

558
00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:00,089
Certainly.
Here they are.

559
00:30:00,173 --> 00:30:01,590
Oh, yeah.
You have got socks.

560
00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:03,926
They look pretty old to me, too.
Whose are they?

561
00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:06,679
My old socks.
Let me introduce myself.

562
00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:09,974
My name is Spaulding, Captain Spaulding.
I am Roscoe W. Chandler.

563
00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:12,476
Well, this is a treat,
your treat.

564
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,561
You have heard
about me?

565
00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:17,106
Yes, I've heard about you for a
great many years, Mr. Chandler,

566
00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:19,441
and I'm getting pretty
darn sick of it, too.

567
00:30:20,276 --> 00:30:23,237
Quite naturally, I've also heard
of the great Captain Spaulding.

568
00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:25,447
Well, that's fine. I've heard
of you and you've heard of me.

569
00:30:25,532 --> 00:30:27,449
Now, have you ever heard the
one about the two Irishmen?

570
00:30:27,534 --> 00:30:29,952
Oh, yes!

571
00:30:31,371 --> 00:30:33,497
Now that I've got you in
hysterics, let's get to business.

572
00:30:33,581 --> 00:30:35,249
My name is Spaulding,
Captain Spaulding.

573
00:30:35,333 --> 00:30:36,917
I am Roscoe W. Chandler.

574
00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:40,379
And I'm Geoffrey T. Spaulding. I bet you
don't know what the "T" stands for.

575
00:30:40,463 --> 00:30:42,881
Uh, Thomas?
Edgar.

576
00:30:43,466 --> 00:30:44,967
You were close, though.

577
00:30:45,051 --> 00:30:46,593
You were close, though,
and you still are, I'll bet.

578
00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:48,846
Now, this is what I want to talk
to you about, Mr. Chandler.

579
00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:51,390
How would you like to finance
a scientific expedition?

580
00:30:51,474 --> 00:30:53,142
Well,
that is a question.

581
00:30:53,226 --> 00:30:55,477
Yes that is a question. You certainly
know a question when you see it.

582
00:30:55,562 --> 00:30:57,187
I congratulate you,
Mr. Chandler,

583
00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:59,231
and that brings us right
back to where we were.

584
00:30:59,315 --> 00:31:01,775
How would you like to finance
a scientific expedition?

585
00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:04,778
Well, is there any particular kind
of an expedition you had in mind?

586
00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:06,822
Well, I tell you. I'm
getting along in years now.

587
00:31:06,906 --> 00:31:08,991
There's one thing I always
wanted to do before I quit.

588
00:31:09,075 --> 00:31:10,701
What is that?
Retire.

589
00:31:10,785 --> 00:31:13,037
Now would you be interested in
a proposition of that kind?

590
00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:15,247
You know, I've always had
an idea that my retirement

591
00:31:15,331 --> 00:31:18,167
would be the greatest contribution
to science the world has ever known.

592
00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:19,626
This is your chance,
Mr. Chandler.

593
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:21,420
When I think what you have
done for this country...

594
00:31:21,504 --> 00:31:23,088
And by the way, what have
you done for this country?

595
00:31:23,173 --> 00:31:25,841
Oh, well. I've always
tried to do what I could,

596
00:31:25,925 --> 00:31:27,718
especially in
the world of art.

597
00:31:27,802 --> 00:31:29,762
Art? Well, I don't know how
we drifted around that.

598
00:31:29,846 --> 00:31:31,388
But what is
your opinion of art?

599
00:31:31,473 --> 00:31:33,515
I am very glad
you asked me!

600
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:34,850
I withdraw the question.

601
00:31:34,934 --> 00:31:36,185
This fellow takes
things seriously.

602
00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:38,312
It isn't safe to ask
him a simple question.

603
00:31:38,396 --> 00:31:41,023
Tell me Mr. Chandler, where are you
planning on putting your new opera house?

604
00:31:41,107 --> 00:31:43,817
Oh, I thought I should put it
somewhere near Central Park.

605
00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:45,736
I see. Why don't you put it
right in Central Park?

606
00:31:45,862 --> 00:31:48,030
Could we do that? Sure. Do it at
night when no one is looking.

607
00:31:48,114 --> 00:31:50,574
Why don't you put it in the reservoir
and get the whole thing over with?

608
00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:52,785
Of course, that might interfere
with the water supply.

609
00:31:52,869 --> 00:31:54,870
But after all, we must
remember that art is art.

610
00:31:54,954 --> 00:31:56,997
Still, on the other hand,
water is water, isn't it?

611
00:31:57,207 --> 00:31:58,916
And east is east,
and west is west.

612
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,502
And If you take cranberries and
stew them like applesauce,

613
00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:03,962
it tastes more like prunes
than rhubarb does.

614
00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:05,422
Now, uh,

615
00:32:05,507 --> 00:32:07,132
now, you tell me
what you know.

616
00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:10,135
Well, I would be very glad
to give you my opinion.

617
00:32:10,220 --> 00:32:12,054
Well, that's dandy. I'll
ask you for them someday.

618
00:32:12,138 --> 00:32:13,639
Remind me, will you?
I'll tell you what,

619
00:32:13,723 --> 00:32:15,974
could you come to my office
at 10:00 tomorrow morning?

620
00:32:16,059 --> 00:32:18,519
If I'm not there, ask for Mr.
Jamison, that's my secretary,

621
00:32:18,603 --> 00:32:20,187
and If he sees you,
I'll discharge him.

622
00:32:20,271 --> 00:32:21,855
That's a date, now.
Saturday at 3:00.

623
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,941
No, you better make it Tuesday,
I'm going to Europe Monday.

624
00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:25,484
Pardon me.
My name is Spaulding.

625
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:27,444
I've always wanted to meet you, Mr.
Chandler.

626
00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:29,029
Tell me. What do you think
of the traffic problem?

627
00:32:29,114 --> 00:32:30,572
What do you think of
the marriage problem?

628
00:32:30,657 --> 00:32:33,408
What do you think of at night
when you go to bed, you beast?

629
00:32:34,077 --> 00:32:36,870
Well, I'll tell you... I'd rather
not discuss it any further.

630
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:38,872
Remember, there
are children present.

631
00:32:38,998 --> 00:32:40,707
Well, you see,
my dear Captain,

632
00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:43,418
in the last analysis,
it is a question of money.

633
00:32:43,503 --> 00:32:46,630
The nickel today is not what
it used to be 10 years ago.

634
00:32:46,714 --> 00:32:48,674
I'll go further than that.
I'll get off at the depot.

635
00:32:48,758 --> 00:32:50,843
The nickel is not
what it was 15 years ago.

636
00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:52,136
You know what this
country needs today?

637
00:32:52,220 --> 00:32:54,221
What?
A seven-cent nickel.

638
00:32:54,305 --> 00:32:57,933
Yes, sir. We've been using the five-cent
nickel in this country since 1492.

639
00:32:58,017 --> 00:33:00,185
Now, that's pretty near
100 years, daylight saving.

640
00:33:00,270 --> 00:33:01,687
Now, why not give the
seven-cent nickel a chance?

641
00:33:01,771 --> 00:33:03,730
If that works out, next year we
could have an eight-cent nickel.

642
00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:04,940
Think what that would mean.

643
00:33:05,024 --> 00:33:08,360
You could go to a newsstand buy a three-cent
newspaper and get the same nickel back.

644
00:33:08,444 --> 00:33:11,613
One nickel, carefully used,
would last a family a lifetime.

645
00:33:11,698 --> 00:33:14,449
Captain Spaulding, I think
that is a wonderful idea.

646
00:33:14,534 --> 00:33:15,701
You do, eh?
Yes.

647
00:33:15,785 --> 00:33:17,202
Then there can't
be much to it.

648
00:33:17,287 --> 00:33:19,454
Forget about it.
Well, uh...

649
00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:23,292
Well, tell me, Captain Chandler,
uh, excuse me, Spaulding.

650
00:33:23,376 --> 00:33:25,210
Spaulding, Spaulding, that's right.
Yeah.

651
00:33:25,295 --> 00:33:27,045
I'm Spaulding,
you're Chandler.

652
00:33:27,130 --> 00:33:28,589
Let's have no more
of that either, eh?

653
00:33:28,673 --> 00:33:30,549
It's bad enough
being Spaulding.

654
00:33:30,633 --> 00:33:32,301
Well, tell me,
Captain Spaulding,

655
00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:34,678
Spaulding is the name? That's right.
That's right.

656
00:33:34,804 --> 00:33:37,681
I'm, I'm Chan... I'm Spaulding...
Spaulding...

657
00:33:37,765 --> 00:33:39,308
Could I look at
a program a minute?

658
00:33:39,392 --> 00:33:43,020
I might be the "News Weekly," for all
he knows, or "Coming Next Week."

659
00:33:43,104 --> 00:33:45,689
Well, tell me, Captain Spaulding,
you've been quite a traveler.

660
00:33:45,773 --> 00:33:47,316
Uh, what do you think
about South America?

661
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:48,692
I'm going there soon,
you know.

662
00:33:48,818 --> 00:33:50,819
Is that so? Where are you going?
Uruguay.

663
00:33:50,904 --> 00:33:52,905
Well, you go Uruguay
and I'll go mine.

664
00:33:52,989 --> 00:33:55,657
Say, how long has this been going on?
Let's change the subject.

665
00:33:55,742 --> 00:33:57,993
Take the foreign situation.
Take Abyssinia.

666
00:33:58,077 --> 00:33:59,411
I'll tell you,
you take Abyssinia,

667
00:33:59,495 --> 00:34:02,080
and I'll take a hot butterscotch
sundae on rye bread.

668
00:34:02,165 --> 00:34:04,124
Let's go and see what the boys
in the back room will have.

669
00:34:04,209 --> 00:34:05,250
But, my...

670
00:34:13,426 --> 00:34:15,135
Let's see how yours
compares with the original.

671
00:34:15,220 --> 00:34:16,887
All right, let's.

672
00:34:18,598 --> 00:34:21,642
Oh! I don't see
any difference.

673
00:34:21,726 --> 00:34:23,685
Well, look closer. Maybe,
you'll find it's better.

674
00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:25,270
Oh, you!

675
00:34:33,279 --> 00:34:34,363
You seen
my partner?

676
00:34:34,447 --> 00:34:35,948
No.

677
00:34:44,832 --> 00:34:47,042
Oh, Mr. Ravioli.

678
00:34:47,126 --> 00:34:50,587
Ravelli, Ravelli.
Oh, Mr. Ravelli.

679
00:34:50,672 --> 00:34:52,673
I want you to do
something for me.

680
00:34:52,757 --> 00:34:55,801
I do anything for you. What
do you want, I should do?

681
00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:57,511
You see
that painting?

682
00:34:57,595 --> 00:34:59,137
You mean,
this picture?

683
00:34:59,222 --> 00:35:03,475
I want you to take that out of the
frame and put this one in its place.

684
00:35:03,726 --> 00:35:06,895
You want I should take this one
down and put this one upstairs.

685
00:35:06,980 --> 00:35:08,605
Yes, that's it.

686
00:35:08,690 --> 00:35:10,565
You want
I should steal!

687
00:35:10,650 --> 00:35:13,694
Oh, no, no!
It's not stealing.

688
00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:14,945
Well, then,
I couldn't do it.

689
00:35:15,029 --> 00:35:18,407
Oh, Mr. Ravioli!
Oh, no, no, no.

690
00:35:28,835 --> 00:35:31,128
Hey, get up, get up.
Come here.

691
00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:33,213
That's all you do,
chase the women.

692
00:35:33,423 --> 00:35:35,340
Go. Aw, stop!

693
00:35:35,842 --> 00:35:38,260
Everybody here plays cards.
They don't ask us.

694
00:35:38,344 --> 00:35:41,305
We are a waste all the time.
We been here all day.

695
00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:45,475
How much a we make?
We make a nothing.

696
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,269
First thing you know,
we gonna live on a charity,

697
00:35:47,353 --> 00:35:49,438
then go to
the old ladies' home.

698
00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:51,023
How do you like that?

699
00:35:51,107 --> 00:35:54,192
No, no.
That's a no good!

700
00:35:55,111 --> 00:35:56,987
These people here
all got a money.

701
00:35:57,071 --> 00:35:59,531
Now, we gotta get someone
to play with us, see.

702
00:35:59,615 --> 00:36:00,615
I play anything.

703
00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:02,534
Oh, Signor Ravelli,

704
00:36:02,744 --> 00:36:04,995
I want to speak to you about the music.
Yeah. How do you do?

705
00:36:05,079 --> 00:36:07,289
What's the matter
with you?

706
00:36:07,498 --> 00:36:10,334
I thought, it would be nice...
Go away from me.

707
00:36:10,418 --> 00:36:12,210
What is this? That's all right.
Just a...

708
00:36:12,295 --> 00:36:13,503
Oh, there you are.
My, dear...

709
00:36:13,588 --> 00:36:14,880
Hello, Professor.

710
00:36:14,964 --> 00:36:16,840
Good heavens. What's the
matter with his feet?

711
00:36:19,385 --> 00:36:21,219
This is embarrassing.

712
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:23,597
That's nothing.

713
00:36:24,223 --> 00:36:26,308
Why, we play
all kinds of games.

714
00:36:26,392 --> 00:36:28,602
We play blackjack,
soccer...

715
00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:31,021
Oh! Dear, I'm so sorry!

716
00:36:34,901 --> 00:36:36,735
Mrs. Whitehead...

717
00:36:37,570 --> 00:36:39,029
What is the matter
with him?

718
00:36:40,907 --> 00:36:44,034
I wouldn't have had this
happen for the world.

719
00:36:44,243 --> 00:36:45,744
Oh! Heavens!

720
00:36:47,246 --> 00:36:48,455
Come on! Atta boy!

721
00:36:48,539 --> 00:36:50,832
Go away from me!

722
00:36:50,917 --> 00:36:53,585
One... Two... Three.

723
00:36:53,669 --> 00:36:55,253
Atta boy.
Atta boy.

724
00:36:55,338 --> 00:36:56,797
Good heavens.
Oh, dear.

725
00:36:56,881 --> 00:36:59,007
I must, get them out. I
must get them out of here!

726
00:37:00,426 --> 00:37:02,260
Oh, look. You see how
terrible he looks! Look.

727
00:37:02,345 --> 00:37:04,137
I'm so frightened.

728
00:37:04,222 --> 00:37:06,098
Look, what can I do?
I don't know.

729
00:37:06,182 --> 00:37:08,683
I better get Hives.
No, let me get her.

730
00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,477
Well, you go, then. I'm
just trying to watch my...

731
00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:15,107
Oh, this is terrible.

732
00:37:15,191 --> 00:37:17,901
She can't take
it there.

733
00:37:17,985 --> 00:37:20,487
You better get Hives.

734
00:37:20,613 --> 00:37:23,949
Go away from me!

735
00:37:25,993 --> 00:37:27,786
This is dreadful.

736
00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:31,415
Well, why don't
you leave him alone?

737
00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:34,334
Stop!

738
00:37:34,794 --> 00:37:38,380
Now that this game is over,
how about playing bridge?

739
00:37:38,464 --> 00:37:40,465
You play bridge?
I play bridge a little.

740
00:37:40,591 --> 00:37:43,718
What do you play for? Oh, we
just play for small stakes.

741
00:37:43,803 --> 00:37:45,929
And French fried
potatoes?

742
00:37:46,973 --> 00:37:49,975
Set it up over there, Hives.
Very good, madam.

743
00:37:54,939 --> 00:37:56,773
What in the world
is he up to?

744
00:37:56,858 --> 00:37:58,066
Look at this.

745
00:37:58,234 --> 00:38:00,444
The whole house will be torn to pieces.
Absolutely.

746
00:38:00,528 --> 00:38:02,571
If it isn't one thing,
it's another.

747
00:38:02,655 --> 00:38:04,531
Oh, Hives!
Oh!

748
00:38:06,784 --> 00:38:08,160
Take it away,
Hives.

749
00:38:08,244 --> 00:38:09,828
Extraordinary.
We'll play over here.

750
00:38:09,912 --> 00:38:12,289
Now, how do you want to play?
Honest?

751
00:38:12,373 --> 00:38:14,416
Well, I hope so.

752
00:38:14,500 --> 00:38:16,501
You put that
right away.

753
00:38:17,628 --> 00:38:19,296
It's your
own fault.

754
00:38:21,340 --> 00:38:22,924
Come along now.
We'll cut for partners.

755
00:38:23,009 --> 00:38:25,719
Oh, he's my partner. That's
the only way we play.

756
00:38:25,803 --> 00:38:29,097
I'm sorry but it's against the rules of
the games. We have to cut for partners.

757
00:38:29,182 --> 00:38:31,224
All right.
We cut for partners.

758
00:38:31,934 --> 00:38:35,937
I got ace of spades.
He's got ace of spades.

759
00:38:36,522 --> 00:38:38,273
That's what you call
"quin-cidences."

760
00:38:38,357 --> 00:38:41,443
Two aces of spaces? Yeah,
he's got thousands of them.

761
00:38:41,736 --> 00:38:44,112
Well, I suppose that gives
him the choice of seats.

762
00:38:44,197 --> 00:38:46,490
You have
the choice of seats.

763
00:38:46,908 --> 00:38:49,826
Good heavens! Not on her lap.
Come on! Sit down.

764
00:38:49,952 --> 00:38:51,828
What's the matter with him?
I don't know.

765
00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:54,080
He thought it was
contact bridge.

766
00:38:54,165 --> 00:38:56,333
Just a minute now.
Shuffle the cards.

767
00:38:56,417 --> 00:38:58,502
Yeah. You got to scrumble them up a bit.
You know.

768
00:39:12,725 --> 00:39:15,018
Just a moment. I'd like
to cut those cards.

769
00:39:37,667 --> 00:39:40,460
That's a better.

770
00:40:01,023 --> 00:40:03,441
Uh, your bid,
partner.

771
00:40:04,277 --> 00:40:06,444
You pass?

772
00:40:06,946 --> 00:40:08,280
Misdeal.

773
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:12,367
You pass?
I bid one spade.

774
00:40:12,577 --> 00:40:14,703
I pass.
Three spades.

775
00:40:15,955 --> 00:40:17,622
Four spades.

776
00:40:19,166 --> 00:40:20,625
One club.

777
00:40:20,710 --> 00:40:23,795
I don't understand
this kind of bidding!

778
00:40:24,130 --> 00:40:26,256
Well, you don't
have to understand.

779
00:40:28,342 --> 00:40:30,969
You bid four spades,
huh?

780
00:40:31,887 --> 00:40:33,888
Why, I haven't
a spade in my hand!

781
00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:35,515
All right.
We double.

782
00:40:36,058 --> 00:40:37,392
There's something
wrong here.

783
00:40:37,476 --> 00:40:39,519
I want you to
go over the bidding.

784
00:40:39,687 --> 00:40:43,064
Hey, she wants to start
them up again, the bidding.

785
00:40:43,232 --> 00:40:44,274
He bids one.

786
00:40:44,358 --> 00:40:45,859
One?
One what?

787
00:40:45,943 --> 00:40:48,069
That's all right.
You find out.

788
00:40:48,529 --> 00:40:50,030
But we have to know
what he's bidding.

789
00:40:50,114 --> 00:40:52,657
We tell you later.
Now I bid two.

790
00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:55,577
Two what? Uh, two of
the same he bids.

791
00:40:55,661 --> 00:40:56,786
Now, the bidding's over.

792
00:40:56,871 --> 00:40:58,413
See, that's
enough bidding.

793
00:40:58,497 --> 00:41:00,332
Uh, it's your lead.

794
00:41:00,416 --> 00:41:02,584
Oh, no, you
can't lead that.

795
00:41:02,668 --> 00:41:05,295
Why not?
Why, we can't take it.

796
00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:07,172
Well, what should
I lead?

797
00:41:07,256 --> 00:41:08,673
Ace.

798
00:41:08,758 --> 00:41:11,134
Ace of spades.
That's very good.

799
00:41:12,011 --> 00:41:15,513
Three of spades,
four of spades...

800
00:41:17,141 --> 00:41:19,851
You trump it?

801
00:41:21,020 --> 00:41:22,729
Uh, that's what you
call a finesse.

802
00:41:24,398 --> 00:41:27,275
No spades, partner.
No spades!

803
00:41:36,035 --> 00:41:37,786
Ace of hearts.

804
00:41:44,210 --> 00:41:45,710
Ace of clubs.

805
00:41:48,881 --> 00:41:51,716
Dummy leads.
The dummy leads.

806
00:41:52,468 --> 00:41:54,094
I'm not
the dummy!

807
00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:56,054
Well, you could be.

808
00:41:58,432 --> 00:42:00,308
Ace of diamonds.

809
00:42:01,894 --> 00:42:03,895
100 aces, huh?

810
00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:05,313
200?

811
00:42:05,398 --> 00:42:06,898
That's better.

812
00:42:07,608 --> 00:42:09,109
Ace of hearts.

813
00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:11,653
Atta boy,
make a big slam.

814
00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:13,905
Make a big,
big slam!

815
00:42:14,782 --> 00:42:16,533
Ace of spades.

816
00:42:21,205 --> 00:42:22,831
Ace of spades.

817
00:42:22,915 --> 00:42:25,583
That's a good.
He plays a good game.

818
00:42:26,961 --> 00:42:29,587
Ace of spades. He plays
a fine game, all right.

819
00:42:31,757 --> 00:42:33,967
Ace of... I refuse
to play any longer.

820
00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:36,803
You're nothing but a couple of card sharps.
Good heavens!

821
00:42:36,929 --> 00:42:38,680
What's the matter, dear?
My shoes are gone!

822
00:42:38,764 --> 00:42:41,099
Good gracious. He has your slippers.
Come along, come along.

823
00:42:43,853 --> 00:42:46,271
Hey, you take a
the lady's shoes, huh?

824
00:43:11,922 --> 00:43:14,007
Hey. Quiet.

825
00:43:14,133 --> 00:43:15,967
Quiet, quiet.

826
00:43:22,099 --> 00:43:24,642
Hide! Hide!
Somebody's coming.

827
00:43:27,146 --> 00:43:30,523
All right. I make a mistake.
Get up, get up. Come on.

828
00:43:30,816 --> 00:43:32,817
Hurry up.

829
00:43:33,152 --> 00:43:35,195
Come. Hey, hurry up.
Come here.

830
00:43:35,738 --> 00:43:37,238
You know what
we gotta do, eh?

831
00:43:37,323 --> 00:43:39,908
We gotta take a that picture out and
put this one upstairs for the lady.

832
00:43:39,992 --> 00:43:42,619
Wait! No touch.
You got everything ready, huh?

833
00:43:42,828 --> 00:43:45,580
The shovel, the ax, the
dynamite, the pineapples?

834
00:43:45,706 --> 00:43:47,749
Where's the flash?

835
00:43:48,417 --> 00:43:50,418
That's a no flash.

836
00:43:50,503 --> 00:43:53,254
A flash.
There's a flash. Flash.

837
00:43:53,923 --> 00:43:55,924
That's a flash.
A flash.

838
00:43:56,050 --> 00:43:58,009
Yeah,
that's a flash.

839
00:43:58,219 --> 00:44:00,929
That's a fish! I no want a fish.
No fish.

840
00:44:01,013 --> 00:44:04,516
Flash. Aw, stop it.
You act crazy.

841
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:07,352
When you go out in the night time,
you gotta have a the flash.

842
00:44:09,688 --> 00:44:11,940
Ha! That's a no flash.
That's a flask.

843
00:44:12,024 --> 00:44:16,277
Flash. When you wanna see somebody,
you gotta have a the flash.

844
00:44:16,695 --> 00:44:18,905
That's a flush. What I
gonna do with a flush?

845
00:44:19,365 --> 00:44:21,783
A flash. No flit.

846
00:44:21,867 --> 00:44:24,619
It's a flits. What am I
gonna do with a flits?

847
00:44:24,829 --> 00:44:27,038
What do you got?

848
00:44:27,122 --> 00:44:29,040
That's whatcha
call a flutes.

849
00:44:29,124 --> 00:44:32,293
All you got is a fish, a flutes, a
flits, flutes, flits and a flutes.

850
00:44:33,838 --> 00:44:36,172
Stop this!
Where's the flash?

851
00:44:37,883 --> 00:44:39,968
Look, when everything
is a light...

852
00:44:40,052 --> 00:44:43,054
And you wanna make them
a dark, what do you do?

853
00:44:43,472 --> 00:44:46,724
Ah! You're crazy.
I don't want no blackjack.

854
00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:48,476
That's a my mistake,
I guess.

855
00:44:48,561 --> 00:44:52,021
When everything is dark, and
you wanna make them light...

856
00:44:52,731 --> 00:44:54,858
Yeah, that's a flash.
That's a flash.

857
00:45:02,074 --> 00:45:03,825
Hey, that's a good, all right.

858
00:45:03,909 --> 00:45:06,911
The storm put the lights out.
Now, nobody can see what we do.

859
00:45:06,996 --> 00:45:09,497
That's a fine.
Where is the flash?

860
00:45:10,791 --> 00:45:12,792
Where's the flash?

861
00:45:13,294 --> 00:45:15,712
I no want the fish!
The flash!

862
00:45:15,921 --> 00:45:18,506
No, no flute! No, flute!

863
00:45:18,591 --> 00:45:20,341
What's the matter
with you, eh?

864
00:45:20,426 --> 00:45:23,428
Flash. Before the people
come, get a the flash.

865
00:45:23,762 --> 00:45:25,430
What's the matter?
You lose it?

866
00:45:25,598 --> 00:45:28,266
Well, you gotta find it.
Look for it.

867
00:45:29,894 --> 00:45:32,562
All right, all right. Never mind.
Come on. We'll work without it.

868
00:45:41,488 --> 00:45:44,365
Yes, madam. Hide! Hide!
Somebody's coming.

869
00:45:44,783 --> 00:45:47,160
Hide, hide, hide.

870
00:45:47,244 --> 00:45:49,454
Quiet! Shut up!
Quiet.

871
00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:53,625
Shut up. Be quiet. I know where you are.
It's all right.

872
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,420
Oh, Captain Spaulding?

873
00:45:57,504 --> 00:45:59,339
Captain Spaulding,
where are you?

874
00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:02,467
Here. Yes,
what's the trouble?

875
00:46:02,551 --> 00:46:04,218
The storm has
put the lights out,

876
00:46:04,303 --> 00:46:06,971
and you can't see your
hand before your face.

877
00:46:07,514 --> 00:46:09,724
You wouldn't get much
enjoyment out of that.

878
00:46:10,100 --> 00:46:12,518
I don't know what you're gonna
do, but I'm gonna take a nap.

879
00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,187
Leave me a call
for 3:00.

880
00:46:16,982 --> 00:46:18,232
Make it 3:30.

881
00:46:19,735 --> 00:46:21,778
You certainly get
service around here.

882
00:46:21,862 --> 00:46:24,322
Pardon me, Mrs. Rittenhouse,
did you lose a fish?

883
00:46:24,406 --> 00:46:26,908
What?
Well, somebody lost it.

884
00:46:26,992 --> 00:46:29,243
Will you take it out in the
kitchen and have it fried for me?

885
00:46:29,328 --> 00:46:31,788
Did you hear that?

886
00:46:32,247 --> 00:46:34,123
There's somebody
over there.

887
00:46:34,833 --> 00:46:36,709
I say, there's
somebody over there!

888
00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:40,171
Don't be silly. The house is
just settling. That's all.

889
00:46:40,339 --> 00:46:43,466
Anybody over there? I
don't see anybody.

890
00:46:43,592 --> 00:46:45,718
There you are. If there's anybody
there, we'd see him, wouldn't I?

891
00:46:49,682 --> 00:46:53,059
- Oh, what is it?
- Captain, what is it?

892
00:46:53,185 --> 00:46:56,020
You know, what I think? I
think you got roaches.

893
00:47:05,406 --> 00:47:07,281
Yes, you got roaches,
all right.

894
00:47:07,366 --> 00:47:09,367
And the biggest one
has got asthma.

895
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:12,328
Oh, this is terrible. Captain,
let's get out of here.

896
00:47:17,918 --> 00:47:20,753
We get a the picture.
We don't make one sound.

897
00:47:21,338 --> 00:47:23,798
Hey! Somebody
put on the lights.

898
00:47:23,882 --> 00:47:26,509
All right. We get a the picture.
We don't make one sound.

899
00:47:26,593 --> 00:47:28,845
Come on. Let's go.
Get out of here.

900
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,140
What do you want?

901
00:47:32,224 --> 00:47:33,808
Oh, the fish.
Come on, come on.

902
00:47:36,687 --> 00:47:39,480
Oh! That's some storm,
huh?

903
00:47:39,565 --> 00:47:41,441
That's a regular tomato.

904
00:47:41,525 --> 00:47:44,027
Come on. Let's go this way.
I think it's a shortcut.

905
00:47:44,111 --> 00:47:45,862
Come on, let's go.

906
00:47:47,072 --> 00:47:49,574
California!

907
00:47:56,790 --> 00:48:00,460
Oh, Captain, how thrilling.
And then what happened?

908
00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:02,920
It was nothing at all.
I'd rather not discuss it.

909
00:48:03,005 --> 00:48:05,590
But I can't wait to hear the finish.
I must hear it.

910
00:48:05,674 --> 00:48:08,009
Well, there I was. There I
was in the top of the tree

911
00:48:08,093 --> 00:48:10,303
with this rhinoceros pointing
his gun straight at me.

912
00:48:10,387 --> 00:48:12,013
A rhinoceros?
Yes.

913
00:48:12,306 --> 00:48:13,931
Captain, what did you do?

914
00:48:14,016 --> 00:48:16,517
What could I do?
I had to marry his daughter.

915
00:48:16,643 --> 00:48:20,104
What kind of a story do you call that?
All right, you tell one.

916
00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:22,523
And now, my friends,

917
00:48:22,608 --> 00:48:24,692
before we start
the musical program,

918
00:48:24,777 --> 00:48:28,613
Captain Spaulding has kindly consented
to tell us about his trip to Africa.

919
00:48:28,697 --> 00:48:30,615
Captain Spaulding.
Me?

920
00:48:33,952 --> 00:48:37,163
My friends, I'm going to tell
you of that great mysterious,

921
00:48:37,247 --> 00:48:39,248
wonderful continent
known as Africa.

922
00:48:39,833 --> 00:48:42,543
Africa is God's country,
and he can have it.

923
00:48:43,128 --> 00:48:44,170
Well, sir.

924
00:48:44,296 --> 00:48:47,298
We left New York drunk and early
on the morning of February 2.

925
00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:50,968
After 15 days on the water
and six on the boat,

926
00:48:51,053 --> 00:48:53,221
we finally arrived
on the shores of Africa.

927
00:48:53,806 --> 00:48:58,226
We once proceeded 300 miles into the heart
of the jungle, where I shot a polar bear.

928
00:48:58,310 --> 00:49:01,020
This bear was 6' 7" in his
stocking feet and had shoes on...

929
00:49:01,105 --> 00:49:03,856
Pardon me, just a moment, Captain.
Just a moment.

930
00:49:03,941 --> 00:49:07,110
I always thought that polar bears
lived in the frozen north.

931
00:49:07,194 --> 00:49:08,736
Oh, you did. Well,
this bear was anemic,

932
00:49:08,821 --> 00:49:10,905
and he couldn't stand
the cold climate.

933
00:49:10,989 --> 00:49:13,574
He was a rich bear and could
afford to go away in the winter.

934
00:49:14,159 --> 00:49:16,828
You take care of your animals
and I'll take care of mine!

935
00:49:17,329 --> 00:49:19,664
Frozen north, my eye.

936
00:49:20,833 --> 00:49:23,543
From the day of our arrival,
we led an active life.

937
00:49:23,627 --> 00:49:27,421
The first morning saw us up at 6:00,
breakfasted and back in bed at 7:00.

938
00:49:27,506 --> 00:49:29,507
This was our routine
for the first three months.

939
00:49:30,008 --> 00:49:32,301
We finally got so
we were back in bed at 6:30.

940
00:49:32,928 --> 00:49:35,888
One morning, I was sitting in front
of the cabin, smoking some meat.

941
00:49:36,014 --> 00:49:37,515
Smoking some meat?

942
00:49:37,641 --> 00:49:39,350
Yes, there wasn't a cigar
store in the neighborhood.

943
00:49:39,768 --> 00:49:41,769
As I say, I was sitting
in front of the cabin

944
00:49:41,854 --> 00:49:43,146
when I bagged
six tigers.

945
00:49:43,272 --> 00:49:44,355
Oh, Captain! Six of
them biggest I...

946
00:49:44,439 --> 00:49:46,858
Captain, did you
catch six tigers?

947
00:49:46,942 --> 00:49:48,901
I bagged them. I... I
bagged them to go away,

948
00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:50,945
but they hung around
all afternoon.

949
00:49:51,029 --> 00:49:54,282
They were the most persistent
tigers I've ever seen.

950
00:49:54,366 --> 00:49:56,576
The principal animals
inhabiting the African jungle

951
00:49:56,660 --> 00:49:59,328
are moose, elks
and Knights of Pythias.

952
00:49:59,580 --> 00:50:00,955
Of course, you all
know what a moose is.

953
00:50:01,039 --> 00:50:02,290
That's big game.

954
00:50:02,374 --> 00:50:03,875
The first day
I shot two bucks.

955
00:50:03,959 --> 00:50:05,793
That was
the biggest game we had.

956
00:50:05,878 --> 00:50:08,004
As I say, you all
know what a moose is.

957
00:50:08,088 --> 00:50:12,049
A moose runs around on the floor and
eats cheese and is chased by the cats.

958
00:50:12,134 --> 00:50:14,385
The elks, on the other hand,
live up in the hills.

959
00:50:14,469 --> 00:50:17,555
And in the spring, they come down
for their annual convention.

960
00:50:17,639 --> 00:50:20,141
It is interesting to watch
them come to the water hole.

961
00:50:20,225 --> 00:50:21,184
And you should
see them run

962
00:50:21,268 --> 00:50:23,519
when they find
it's only a water hole!

963
00:50:23,604 --> 00:50:26,480
What they're looking
for is an elk-a-hole.

964
00:50:26,565 --> 00:50:29,317
One morning I shot an
elephant in my pajamas.

965
00:50:29,401 --> 00:50:31,652
How he got in my
pajamas, I don't know.

966
00:50:31,737 --> 00:50:33,738
Then we tried
to remove the tusks.

967
00:50:33,822 --> 00:50:36,032
The tusks. That's not so easy to say.
Tusks.

968
00:50:36,116 --> 00:50:37,283
You try that sometime.

969
00:50:37,367 --> 00:50:39,493
Tusks.
Oh, simple. Tusks.

970
00:50:39,578 --> 00:50:40,661
Pardon me, my name is Spaulding.

971
00:50:40,746 --> 00:50:42,997
I've always wanted to meet you, Mr.
Chandler.

972
00:50:43,081 --> 00:50:45,208
As I say, we tried
to remove the tusks.

973
00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:48,169
But they were embedded in so
firmly that we couldn't bust them.

974
00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:50,504
Of course, in Alabama,
the Tuscaloosa.

975
00:50:50,589 --> 00:50:54,508
But, uh, that's entirely irr-elephant
to what I was talking about.

976
00:50:54,635 --> 00:50:56,260
We took some pictures
of the native girls,

977
00:50:56,345 --> 00:50:57,678
but they weren't developed.

978
00:50:57,763 --> 00:50:59,513
But we're going back again
in a couple of weeks.

979
00:50:59,598 --> 00:51:01,390
I will... A very enlightening
speech, Captain.

980
00:51:01,516 --> 00:51:03,935
Very enlightening. Hooray
for Captain Spaulding!

981
00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:06,437
Three cheers
for Captain Spaulding!

982
00:51:06,563 --> 00:51:09,732
Aw. Oh, really I... Three
cheers for Captain Spaulding!

983
00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:12,318
Three cheers... No one
asked for the chairs!

984
00:51:12,402 --> 00:51:13,402
Put them right
where you found them.

985
00:51:13,528 --> 00:51:14,695
Now, go now. Go now.
Go on, go on!

986
00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:17,073
Go on with your chairs. Get out!

987
00:51:18,617 --> 00:51:20,576
Go on, go on,
go on, you.

988
00:51:20,786 --> 00:51:22,078
And, now, friends,

989
00:51:22,162 --> 00:51:25,206
Signor Ravelli will
oblige us at the piano.

990
00:51:25,290 --> 00:51:27,041
Signor Ravelli.

991
00:51:29,836 --> 00:51:31,796
Signor Ravelli's first
selection will be

992
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:35,132
Somewhere My Love Lies
Sleeping With a Male Chorus.

993
00:52:04,871 --> 00:52:06,539
One, two, three, four.

994
00:52:08,292 --> 00:52:10,167
One, two,
three, four.

995
00:52:11,753 --> 00:52:15,423
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight,

996
00:52:15,507 --> 00:52:18,718
nine, 10, 11, 12,
13, 14, 15, 16,

997
00:52:18,802 --> 00:52:19,927
17, 18, 19, 20...

998
00:52:36,695 --> 00:52:39,196
Say, if you get
near a song, play it.

999
00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:49,457
I can't think
of the finish.

1000
00:52:51,793 --> 00:52:54,962
That's strange. And I can't
think of anything else.

1001
00:52:56,298 --> 00:52:58,966
You know what I think?
I think I went past it.

1002
00:52:59,593 --> 00:53:02,386
I mean, if you come
around again, jump off.

1003
00:53:03,388 --> 00:53:05,848
I once kept this up
for three days.

1004
00:53:07,225 --> 00:53:10,102
You wouldn't consider
hush money, would you?

1005
00:53:12,022 --> 00:53:14,398
I can't get him now, I've got
to wait for inspiration.

1006
00:53:14,483 --> 00:53:16,067
It's about time.

1007
00:53:17,069 --> 00:53:18,527
Play the song
about Montreal.

1008
00:53:18,612 --> 00:53:19,737
Montreal?

1009
00:53:19,821 --> 00:53:21,739
I'm a Dreamer,
Montreal.

1010
00:53:23,158 --> 00:53:24,867
I don't know that.
I'll tell you what I do.

1011
00:53:24,951 --> 00:53:26,702
I play one of my own
compositions

1012
00:53:26,787 --> 00:53:28,496
by Victor Herbert.
Make it short.

1013
00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:39,043
He plays
them both well.

1014
00:55:47,928 --> 00:55:49,553
Atta boy.

1015
00:55:51,973 --> 00:55:53,599
The old red team
scored that time.

1016
00:55:56,228 --> 00:55:57,895
So did the old
blue one.

1017
00:55:58,021 --> 00:55:59,897
Why do you push, huh? Why do you push?
Oh, please, stop them.

1018
00:55:59,981 --> 00:56:02,107
Let them alone. They may
exterminate each other.

1019
00:56:02,234 --> 00:56:04,401
Come on, come on! The best thing
that can happen for either of them.

1020
00:56:04,528 --> 00:56:07,321
And once
for old Purdue.

1021
00:56:21,211 --> 00:56:22,586
I was
afraid of that.

1022
00:56:23,588 --> 00:56:25,047
Hey, I thought
I had the finish.

1023
00:56:25,131 --> 00:56:26,131
I wish you did.

1024
00:56:26,216 --> 00:56:27,258
Yours.

1025
00:56:27,342 --> 00:56:29,260
Play the song about
the Irish chiropodist.

1026
00:56:29,344 --> 00:56:30,511
Irish chiropodist?

1027
00:56:30,595 --> 00:56:32,555
My Fate is
in Your Hands.

1028
00:57:08,300 --> 00:57:09,717
Is there a horse
in the house?

1029
00:57:09,801 --> 00:57:11,385
They've got
everything else here.

1030
00:57:11,469 --> 00:57:14,096
And, uh, now,
Mrs. Rittenrotten...

1031
00:57:14,180 --> 00:57:15,180
Uh, Mrs. Rittenhouse.

1032
00:57:15,265 --> 00:57:16,223
Yes, a slight error.

1033
00:57:16,308 --> 00:57:18,142
I have a little
surprise for you!

1034
00:57:18,226 --> 00:57:19,435
The man is here
for the piano.

1035
00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:20,561
Oh, Captain.

1036
00:57:20,645 --> 00:57:22,271
No, really. What I meant
to say was that, uh...

1037
00:57:22,355 --> 00:57:25,941
When I departed from the natives in
Africa, I was presented with a gift.

1038
00:57:26,026 --> 00:57:27,901
And this gift I'm
going to give to you

1039
00:57:27,986 --> 00:57:29,028
at a very low figure.

1040
00:57:29,112 --> 00:57:30,904
Oh, how wonderful,
Captain!

1041
00:57:30,989 --> 00:57:33,449
Well, no. Don't be too hasty.
Oh, I just...

1042
00:57:33,533 --> 00:57:35,367
This is all
hand-painted.

1043
00:57:35,452 --> 00:57:38,412
The whole thing was done
with the white of an egg.

1044
00:57:38,496 --> 00:57:41,248
Well, what is it,
Captain? What is it?

1045
00:57:41,333 --> 00:57:42,416
"What is it?"
you ask.

1046
00:57:42,500 --> 00:57:44,251
This is a hope chest
for a guinea pig.

1047
00:57:44,336 --> 00:57:45,502
Oh.
What is it?

1048
00:57:45,587 --> 00:57:46,962
This magnificent chest...

1049
00:57:47,047 --> 00:57:49,923
No, this...
No, this magnificent chest,

1050
00:57:50,008 --> 00:57:53,052
I now take great pleasure in
presenting to you with my compliments.

1051
00:57:53,136 --> 00:57:55,638
Captain, this leaves
me speechless.

1052
00:57:55,722 --> 00:57:57,640
Well, see that you
remain that way.

1053
00:57:57,724 --> 00:57:59,141
And, now, ladies
and gentlemen...

1054
00:57:59,225 --> 00:58:01,101
Come outside
and say that.

1055
00:58:01,186 --> 00:58:03,520
If we will all adjourn
to the library,

1056
00:58:03,605 --> 00:58:07,441
Mrs. Rittenhouse has another, and
perhaps greater, surprise for us.

1057
00:58:07,525 --> 00:58:09,360
Hmm.
This way, Captain.

1058
00:58:14,741 --> 00:58:17,117
Mrs. Rittenhouse,
how do you pay Hives?

1059
00:58:17,202 --> 00:58:19,244
By the week
or by the pound?

1060
00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:38,389
And now,
it is my privilege

1061
00:58:38,473 --> 00:58:40,391
to reveal
the masterpiece

1062
00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:44,978
of Francois Jacques Dubois
Gilbert Beaugard.

1063
00:58:45,063 --> 00:58:46,355
No trains will be sold

1064
00:58:46,439 --> 00:58:48,524
after the magazines
leave the depot.

1065
00:58:49,526 --> 00:58:51,068
After the Hunt.

1066
00:58:56,282 --> 00:58:59,326
There! I told you
you were a great artist.

1067
00:59:00,328 --> 00:59:02,162
Shall we spill
the beans now?

1068
00:59:02,247 --> 00:59:03,914
Let's wait a minute.
Something might happen.

1069
00:59:04,207 --> 00:59:08,085
Now, I'm sure, we'd all appreciate
a few words from Mr. Chandler,

1070
00:59:08,169 --> 00:59:12,089
who will tell us of the life and
work of the artist, Beaugard.

1071
00:59:12,382 --> 00:59:14,049
And keep it clean.

1072
00:59:14,676 --> 00:59:16,218
Mr. Chandler.

1073
00:59:22,142 --> 00:59:23,183
My friends,

1074
00:59:23,268 --> 00:59:26,520
I am quite sure that you are
all familiar with Beaugard,

1075
00:59:26,604 --> 00:59:29,106
and this is perhaps
his masterpiece.

1076
00:59:29,607 --> 00:59:31,859
In it, he has achieved
the greatness

1077
00:59:31,943 --> 00:59:34,194
in the handling
of color and line.

1078
00:59:34,279 --> 00:59:36,655
Now, you will
see here that I...

1079
00:59:36,740 --> 00:59:39,366
Wait! This is
not my picture.

1080
00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:40,784
This is a rank
imitation!

1081
00:59:40,869 --> 00:59:42,745
What do you mean,
Mr. Chandler?

1082
00:59:42,829 --> 00:59:44,037
Well, here,
see for yourself!

1083
00:59:47,625 --> 00:59:49,752
You are right. It is
not the Beaugard.

1084
00:59:49,836 --> 00:59:51,587
It certainly isn't.
There's a dog missing!

1085
00:59:51,713 --> 00:59:54,339
Oh, Captain Spaulding,
what shall I do?

1086
00:59:54,424 --> 00:59:56,049
Telephone the dog
catchers immediately!

1087
00:59:56,134 --> 00:59:58,260
They have taken the
original and left me this.

1088
00:59:58,344 --> 01:00:00,679
Leave it to me. I'll throw
some light on this subject.

1089
01:00:02,390 --> 01:00:03,390
Has anyone a match?

1090
01:00:03,475 --> 01:00:05,684
What's wrong?

1091
01:00:06,352 --> 01:00:09,396
- Hives, Hives, where are you?
- Turn on the lights.

1092
01:00:09,481 --> 01:00:11,565
Mrs. Rittenhouse,
did you lose that fish again?

1093
01:00:11,649 --> 01:00:13,692
Oh, Captain,
I'm so worried.

1094
01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:16,111
Good heavens! That
one is gone, too!

1095
01:00:16,362 --> 01:00:18,155
Oh, this is awful.

1096
01:00:18,239 --> 01:00:19,990
The crooks! The crooks!
They are escaping.

1097
01:00:20,074 --> 01:00:21,200
Follow me, men!

1098
01:00:21,284 --> 01:00:22,618
Never mind the men,
just the women.

1099
01:00:22,702 --> 01:00:24,119
Oh, Captain.
Captain!

1100
01:00:24,204 --> 01:00:25,412
- Captain!
- Come on.

1101
01:00:25,497 --> 01:00:26,497
Right this way.

1102
01:00:26,581 --> 01:00:28,624
He went out here
someplace.

1103
01:00:33,755 --> 01:00:34,922
Excitement.

1104
01:00:35,006 --> 01:00:37,633
I never saw anything so
funny in all my life.

1105
01:00:37,717 --> 01:00:40,552
It was great, and there
goes her old party.

1106
01:00:40,637 --> 01:00:43,138
Good old Hives.
Wasn't it funny?

1107
01:00:43,389 --> 01:00:45,140
Oh, very.

1108
01:00:45,225 --> 01:00:46,558
Why, you're not afraid,
are you, Hives?

1109
01:00:46,643 --> 01:00:48,894
Oh, no, I'm not afraid.
Oh, dear, no.

1110
01:00:48,978 --> 01:00:52,731
Only, you see, well, they were
talking of having the police here.

1111
01:00:52,816 --> 01:00:54,900
And I wouldn't want
the police to suspect me.

1112
01:00:54,984 --> 01:00:56,151
Why, they wouldn't
suspect you.

1113
01:00:56,236 --> 01:00:58,028
Oh, yes,
they would.

1114
01:00:58,238 --> 01:01:00,697
You see, the last time
they suspected me,

1115
01:01:00,782 --> 01:01:01,782
I got four years.

1116
01:01:01,866 --> 01:01:03,283
Hives!

1117
01:01:03,368 --> 01:01:04,368
All right, Hives.

1118
01:01:04,452 --> 01:01:06,078
Give me the painting
and I'll take care of it.

1119
01:01:06,162 --> 01:01:07,371
Good. Come.

1120
01:01:19,384 --> 01:01:21,510
Good heavens! It's gone! Gone?

1121
01:01:21,594 --> 01:01:23,262
I left it in there.
There?

1122
01:01:23,388 --> 01:01:26,139
There must be thieves at this party.
Oh, God!

1123
01:01:26,224 --> 01:01:28,934
If I'd known that, I
never would have come.

1124
01:01:29,018 --> 01:01:31,687
Wait a minute.
That professor.

1125
01:01:32,230 --> 01:01:34,147
The professor!
I see!

1126
01:01:34,315 --> 01:01:36,692
Hives, that's the fellow
in the woodpile. Now, listen.

1127
01:01:36,776 --> 01:01:39,611
We've got to get that
picture away from him!

1128
01:01:39,696 --> 01:01:43,156
Might I suggest
some of this?

1129
01:01:43,408 --> 01:01:45,826
What... Oh, very
satisfactory in these cases.

1130
01:01:45,910 --> 01:01:47,661
A few drops
on a handkerchief

1131
01:01:47,745 --> 01:01:50,664
and the professor will
no longer obstruct us.

1132
01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:52,666
You are sure
it'll do the trick?

1133
01:01:52,750 --> 01:01:54,167
Oh, absolutely.

1134
01:01:54,252 --> 01:01:56,003
Would you care
to try some?

1135
01:01:56,087 --> 01:01:58,881
No, thanks, Hives. Let's
find the professor.

1136
01:02:08,182 --> 01:02:09,683
I don't see how the thief
could have gotten away.

1137
01:02:09,767 --> 01:02:10,767
I wonder who
it could have been.

1138
01:02:10,852 --> 01:02:12,686
It's a good thing
we substituted yours.

1139
01:02:12,770 --> 01:02:15,355
Suppose that the thief had
gotten away with the Beaugard!

1140
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:17,691
Oh, it would be all right
if they stole mine.

1141
01:02:17,775 --> 01:02:19,860
Oh, darling, I... I
didn't mean that.

1142
01:02:19,944 --> 01:02:21,862
But what would
mother do?

1143
01:02:21,946 --> 01:02:24,197
Why, it's worth
$100,000!

1144
01:02:24,282 --> 01:02:26,116
How could she have
replaced it?

1145
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:28,118
Oh, I understand, dear.

1146
01:02:30,204 --> 01:02:32,623
Isn't it exciting?
Just think.

1147
01:02:32,957 --> 01:02:35,876
Whoever took it was right
in the room with us!

1148
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:37,628
Just like Raffles.

1149
01:02:38,129 --> 01:02:40,047
Oh, isn't it
romantic?

1150
01:02:43,968 --> 01:02:47,054
All the boys I've known

1151
01:02:47,305 --> 01:02:50,015
Used to say
I was made of stone

1152
01:02:50,808 --> 01:02:53,685
I would always
leave them alone

1153
01:02:54,437 --> 01:02:56,396
In despair

1154
01:02:57,649 --> 01:03:00,150
I've been on the pan

1155
01:03:00,693 --> 01:03:03,403
I've been called
an electric fan

1156
01:03:04,155 --> 01:03:07,074
Told I'm even much
colder than

1157
01:03:07,742 --> 01:03:09,451
Frigidaire

1158
01:03:10,954 --> 01:03:12,788
I began to wonder

1159
01:03:13,081 --> 01:03:15,874
If I was all wrong

1160
01:03:16,084 --> 01:03:22,547
I thought so
till you came along

1161
01:03:24,258 --> 01:03:25,884
Tell me, dear

1162
01:03:26,010 --> 01:03:29,221
Why am I so romantic

1163
01:03:30,974 --> 01:03:32,516
When you're near

1164
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:35,769
Why am I so romantic

1165
01:03:37,522 --> 01:03:40,065
What a grand feeling

1166
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:42,776
When your lips
meet mine

1167
01:03:42,860 --> 01:03:45,445
That certain
something comes

1168
01:03:45,530 --> 01:03:50,033
Stealing up and down
my spine

1169
01:03:50,410 --> 01:03:54,538
I don't know
what it is you do to me

1170
01:03:56,791 --> 01:04:01,294
You don't know half
of the good you do me

1171
01:04:03,381 --> 01:04:06,216
Other boys bore me

1172
01:04:06,509 --> 01:04:09,052
They just
leave me blue

1173
01:04:09,470 --> 01:04:15,058
But why am I
so romantic

1174
01:04:15,309 --> 01:04:17,853
With you

1175
01:04:20,565 --> 01:04:22,190
Tell me, dear

1176
01:04:22,275 --> 01:04:25,902
Why am I so romantic

1177
01:04:27,071 --> 01:04:28,655
When you're near

1178
01:04:28,740 --> 01:04:32,075
Why am I so romantic

1179
01:04:33,703 --> 01:04:36,371
What a grand feeling

1180
01:04:36,956 --> 01:04:38,957
When your lips
touch mine

1181
01:04:39,042 --> 01:04:41,752
That certain
something comes

1182
01:04:41,836 --> 01:04:45,756
Stealing up and down
my spine

1183
01:04:46,507 --> 01:04:49,509
When we pet
close in your arms

1184
01:04:49,594 --> 01:04:51,595
You hold me

1185
01:04:53,014 --> 01:04:57,559
I forget all that
my mother told me

1186
01:04:59,562 --> 01:05:02,397
Other girls bore me

1187
01:05:02,815 --> 01:05:04,941
They just leave me blue

1188
01:05:05,401 --> 01:05:11,615
But why am I so romantic

1189
01:05:12,325 --> 01:05:16,953
With you

1190
01:09:08,602 --> 01:09:10,729
Oh, Signor Ravelli.
Ah, how do you do?

1191
01:09:10,813 --> 01:09:12,230
I've been looking
for you all morning.

1192
01:09:12,523 --> 01:09:14,899
I was busy all morning, but you
could have had me last night.

1193
01:09:14,984 --> 01:09:17,444
Signor Ravelli, you've gotta
put that painting back.

1194
01:09:17,528 --> 01:09:19,487
Painting? Painting? What painting?
What are you talking?

1195
01:09:19,572 --> 01:09:22,532
The one you changed last
night, you remember?

1196
01:09:22,700 --> 01:09:24,784
Oh, you mean the picture? Yes.

1197
01:09:24,869 --> 01:09:25,869
Hey, what's
the matter for you?

1198
01:09:25,953 --> 01:09:27,787
First you want them downstairs,
then you want them upstairs.

1199
01:09:27,872 --> 01:09:28,872
Then you want them
downstairs, then you...

1200
01:09:28,956 --> 01:09:30,040
Come on,
make up your mind.

1201
01:09:30,124 --> 01:09:31,666
Oh, I do thank you
for what you've done.

1202
01:09:31,751 --> 01:09:35,086
But you've got to get that painting
back before the police get here.

1203
01:09:35,171 --> 01:09:36,254
Police?
Yes!

1204
01:09:36,339 --> 01:09:37,297
They come here?
Yes!

1205
01:09:37,381 --> 01:09:39,716
Wait, I give it to you, you put it back.
Come on, come on.

1206
01:09:45,723 --> 01:09:47,766
Where's the picture? What do you
mean, "Where's the picture"?

1207
01:09:47,850 --> 01:09:50,477
I put him in there. It's gone.
Somebody take him.

1208
01:09:50,561 --> 01:09:51,853
You take him!
Me?

1209
01:09:51,896 --> 01:09:53,480
No, I know. I know. I...

1210
01:09:53,564 --> 01:09:55,523
The fish peddler.
Abie, the fish peddler.

1211
01:09:55,608 --> 01:09:57,859
Did mother invite
a fish peddler here?

1212
01:09:57,943 --> 01:10:00,278
I don't know whether she
invite, but he's here.

1213
01:10:00,363 --> 01:10:02,155
Come on.
We find him.

1214
01:10:04,408 --> 01:10:05,658
Good morning,
Mrs. Rittenhouse.

1215
01:10:05,743 --> 01:10:06,993
Good morning,
Mr. Jamison.

1216
01:10:07,078 --> 01:10:08,620
And how is Captain
Spaulding this morning?

1217
01:10:08,704 --> 01:10:10,372
Oh, he had
a very bad night.

1218
01:10:10,456 --> 01:10:11,539
He didn't sleep
a wink.

1219
01:10:11,624 --> 01:10:13,833
He went horseback riding
in the middle of the night.

1220
01:10:13,918 --> 01:10:15,210
I'm sorry.
Yes, I know.

1221
01:10:15,252 --> 01:10:17,003
But we've all been very upset.
Bad case. Yeah.

1222
01:10:17,088 --> 01:10:19,047
Uh, good morning,
Captain.

1223
01:10:19,256 --> 01:10:21,216
Did you enjoy
your ride?

1224
01:10:23,552 --> 01:10:25,512
What in the world
are you looking for?

1225
01:10:25,596 --> 01:10:27,347
I lost my horse.
Oh!

1226
01:10:27,681 --> 01:10:30,433
Yes, he slipped right
out from between me.

1227
01:10:30,768 --> 01:10:33,937
I can't understand it. I had
my feet in the syrups, too.

1228
01:10:34,021 --> 01:10:35,146
I don't know. I don't
know how he got...

1229
01:10:35,231 --> 01:10:37,357
I didn't care about that, but
I lost the bit you loaned me.

1230
01:10:37,441 --> 01:10:39,442
Never mind. I'll get
you another bit.

1231
01:10:39,610 --> 01:10:41,820
Well, that'll be
two bits I owe you, then.

1232
01:10:41,904 --> 01:10:44,197
Captain, I hope you
weren't distressed

1233
01:10:44,281 --> 01:10:46,199
by last night's
unfortunate occurrence.

1234
01:10:46,283 --> 01:10:47,617
You mean that dinner you served?

1235
01:10:47,701 --> 01:10:48,952
No, the painting
that was stolen.

1236
01:10:49,036 --> 01:10:50,036
Was there
a painting stolen?

1237
01:10:50,121 --> 01:10:51,287
I haven't seen a paper
in three weeks.

1238
01:10:51,372 --> 01:10:54,541
Jamison, as my secretary, why didn't you
inform me there was a painting stolen?

1239
01:10:54,625 --> 01:10:55,917
What do you think
I engaged you for?

1240
01:10:56,001 --> 01:10:57,085
But, Captain,
I didn't know it.

1241
01:10:57,169 --> 01:10:59,379
Well, you should have asked me.
I didn't know it!

1242
01:10:59,505 --> 01:11:01,339
- Well, I'm sorry.
- You're sorry.

1243
01:11:01,465 --> 01:11:03,133
You're a contemptible cur!

1244
01:11:03,300 --> 01:11:06,052
I repeat, sir,
you're a contemptible cur!

1245
01:11:06,137 --> 01:11:08,304
Oh, if I were a man
you'd resent that.

1246
01:11:08,764 --> 01:11:10,849
Please keep quiet,
will you?

1247
01:11:11,142 --> 01:11:12,225
I can get along
without you, you know.

1248
01:11:12,309 --> 01:11:14,811
I got along without your father, didn't I?
Yes, and your grandfather.

1249
01:11:14,895 --> 01:11:16,938
Yes, and your uncle!
Yes, and your uncle!

1250
01:11:17,022 --> 01:11:18,356
Yes, and my uncle.
Captain!

1251
01:11:18,441 --> 01:11:20,316
I didn't come here
to be exonerated.

1252
01:11:20,401 --> 01:11:22,068
I beg pardon,
Mrs. Rittenhouse.

1253
01:11:22,153 --> 01:11:23,403
Oh, you do, eh?

1254
01:11:23,487 --> 01:11:26,823
Well, I'd like to see you
crawl out of a rumble seat.

1255
01:11:28,367 --> 01:11:29,909
The police
are here, madam.

1256
01:11:29,994 --> 01:11:31,578
Oh, the police.
Have them come in.

1257
01:11:31,662 --> 01:11:33,079
Oh, so, that's
your game, is it?

1258
01:11:33,164 --> 01:11:34,414
You can't
shut me up.

1259
01:11:34,498 --> 01:11:36,499
Captain. No! You can
talk to my attorney.

1260
01:11:36,584 --> 01:11:37,584
Jamison?
Yes, sir.

1261
01:11:37,668 --> 01:11:38,668
Take a letter
to my lawyers.

1262
01:11:38,919 --> 01:11:41,171
I'll show you a thing
or two, or three.

1263
01:11:42,047 --> 01:11:43,381
I'll show you
a thing or three.

1264
01:11:43,466 --> 01:11:44,924
Oh, Captain.
Sending for the police.

1265
01:11:45,009 --> 01:11:46,968
Take a letter
to my lawyers!

1266
01:11:47,052 --> 01:11:48,845
Sending for the police, eh?

1267
01:11:48,929 --> 01:11:50,638
I say, take a letter
to my lawyers!

1268
01:11:50,723 --> 01:11:51,973
I am taking it!

1269
01:11:52,057 --> 01:11:54,434
Uh, read me
what you have so far.

1270
01:11:56,353 --> 01:11:58,771
Honorable
Charles H. Hungerdunger,

1271
01:11:59,148 --> 01:12:02,066
in care of Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger,
Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger and McCormick.

1272
01:12:04,153 --> 01:12:05,487
Semicolon.

1273
01:12:06,447 --> 01:12:08,448
How do you spell
"semicolon"?

1274
01:12:08,532 --> 01:12:10,533
All right,
make it a comma.

1275
01:12:13,329 --> 01:12:16,539
Dear, Elsie...
No, never mind Elsie.

1276
01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:20,502
Do you want me to
scratch "Elsie"?

1277
01:12:20,586 --> 01:12:23,296
Well, if you enjoy that sort of
thing, it's quite all right with me.

1278
01:12:23,380 --> 01:12:26,299
However, I'm not interested in
your private affairs, Jamison.

1279
01:12:26,383 --> 01:12:29,177
Begin this way.
Let's start all over again.

1280
01:12:29,261 --> 01:12:30,386
Honorable
Charles H. Hungerdunger,

1281
01:12:30,471 --> 01:12:33,473
in care of Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger,
Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger and McCormick.

1282
01:12:33,557 --> 01:12:35,558
Gentlemen,
question mark.

1283
01:12:37,895 --> 01:12:40,647
- Do you want that, uh...
- in the letter?

1284
01:12:40,731 --> 01:12:42,815
No, put that
in an envelope.

1285
01:12:42,942 --> 01:12:44,734
Now, then,

1286
01:12:44,860 --> 01:12:46,653
in re yours
of the fifth inst.

1287
01:12:46,737 --> 01:12:48,905
Yours to hand
and beg to rep.

1288
01:12:49,740 --> 01:12:51,074
Brackets.

1289
01:12:51,408 --> 01:12:53,701
That, uh, we have gone
over the ground carefully

1290
01:12:53,786 --> 01:12:55,328
and we seem to believe,

1291
01:12:55,412 --> 01:12:57,956
I-E, to wit,
E-G, in lieu,

1292
01:12:58,749 --> 01:13:02,168
that, uh, despite all our
precautionary measures

1293
01:13:02,253 --> 01:13:04,212
which have
been involved...

1294
01:13:06,382 --> 01:13:08,841
We seem to believe that
it is hardly necessary

1295
01:13:08,926 --> 01:13:12,971
for us to proceed unless
we receive an ipso facto

1296
01:13:13,222 --> 01:13:15,557
that is not negligible
at this moment.

1297
01:13:15,641 --> 01:13:17,767
Quotes, unquotes
and quotes.

1298
01:13:19,103 --> 01:13:21,187
Uh, hoping this finds you,
I beg you to remain...

1299
01:13:21,272 --> 01:13:22,897
Hoping this
finds him where?

1300
01:13:22,982 --> 01:13:24,816
Well, let him
worry about that.

1301
01:13:24,900 --> 01:13:27,026
Don't be so
inquisitive, Jamison.

1302
01:13:27,111 --> 01:13:28,319
Sneak!

1303
01:13:28,946 --> 01:13:30,029
I say, hoping
this finds you,

1304
01:13:30,114 --> 01:13:32,824
I beg to remain, as of June
9th, cordially yours. Regards.

1305
01:13:32,908 --> 01:13:34,117
That's all, Jamison.

1306
01:13:34,201 --> 01:13:35,827
I'll show you
where I get off.

1307
01:13:35,911 --> 01:13:38,288
Sending for the police.

1308
01:13:38,872 --> 01:13:40,873
Now read me the letter, Jamison.

1309
01:13:40,958 --> 01:13:43,126
"Honorable Charles
H. Hungadunga..."

1310
01:13:43,210 --> 01:13:44,794
"Hungerdunger."

1311
01:13:45,254 --> 01:13:46,671
"Hunga... Hun."
"Hunga..."

1312
01:13:46,797 --> 01:13:49,007
"Hungerdunger." That's it.
"Hungerdunger."

1313
01:13:49,091 --> 01:13:53,011
"In care of Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger,
Hungerdunger and McCormick."

1314
01:13:53,095 --> 01:13:55,430
You've left out
a "Hungerdunger."

1315
01:13:55,723 --> 01:13:57,932
You left out
the main one, too.

1316
01:13:58,559 --> 01:14:01,352
Thought you could
slip one over on me, eh?

1317
01:14:02,146 --> 01:14:05,315
All right, leave it out and put
in a windshield wiper instead.

1318
01:14:05,399 --> 01:14:07,525
I'll tell you what you do, Jamison.
I'll tell you what.

1319
01:14:07,610 --> 01:14:10,778
Make it, uh, make it three windshield
wipers and one "Hungerdunger."

1320
01:14:10,863 --> 01:14:13,656
They won't all be there when
the letter arrives anyhow.

1321
01:14:14,033 --> 01:14:16,075
"Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger,
Hungerdunger and McCormick."

1322
01:14:16,160 --> 01:14:17,368
"And McCormick."

1323
01:14:17,453 --> 01:14:19,287
"Dear Elsie, scratch."

1324
01:14:19,371 --> 01:14:20,413
That won't do, Jamison.

1325
01:14:20,497 --> 01:14:22,790
That won't go through the
mail, the way you got it.

1326
01:14:22,875 --> 01:14:25,877
The way you've got the letter, you've
got McCormick scratching Elsie.

1327
01:14:25,961 --> 01:14:28,921
Now you better turn that around
and have Elsie scratch McCormick.

1328
01:14:29,006 --> 01:14:31,299
And you better turn McCormick
around, too, Jamison.

1329
01:14:31,383 --> 01:14:32,884
And see what
you can do for me.

1330
01:14:34,053 --> 01:14:35,303
"Gentlemen,
question mark."

1331
01:14:35,387 --> 01:14:37,263
"Gentlemen,
question mark"?

1332
01:14:37,348 --> 01:14:40,183
Put it on the penultimate,
not on the diphthongic.

1333
01:14:40,267 --> 01:14:42,352
You wanna brush up
on your Greek, Jamison.

1334
01:14:42,436 --> 01:14:44,896
Well, get a Greek
and brush up on him.

1335
01:14:44,980 --> 01:14:47,440
"In re yours of the
fifth inst." I see.

1336
01:14:47,524 --> 01:14:50,526
Now, you said a lot
of things here

1337
01:14:50,611 --> 01:14:51,903
that I didn't think
were important,

1338
01:14:51,987 --> 01:14:53,655
so I just
omitted them.

1339
01:14:53,739 --> 01:14:55,198
Well!
Hmm.

1340
01:14:59,036 --> 01:15:01,245
Oh, Captain!
Good gracious!

1341
01:15:01,413 --> 01:15:02,413
Oh, my!

1342
01:15:02,665 --> 01:15:04,874
So, you've just
omitted them, eh?

1343
01:15:05,167 --> 01:15:07,627
You've just omitted the body
of the letter, that's all.

1344
01:15:07,711 --> 01:15:10,296
You've left out the body
of the letter, that's all.

1345
01:15:10,381 --> 01:15:12,173
Yours is not to
reason why, Jamison!

1346
01:15:12,257 --> 01:15:14,884
You've left out
the body of the letter!

1347
01:15:15,260 --> 01:15:19,138
All right, send it that way and
tell them the body will follow.

1348
01:15:21,058 --> 01:15:22,934
Do you want the
body in brackets?

1349
01:15:23,143 --> 01:15:24,977
No, it'll never
get there in brackets.

1350
01:15:25,062 --> 01:15:26,396
Put it in a box.

1351
01:15:26,480 --> 01:15:29,399
Put it in a box and mark
it, uh, "fragilly."

1352
01:15:31,068 --> 01:15:32,151
Mark it what?

1353
01:15:32,236 --> 01:15:35,571
Mark it "fragilly."
F-R-A-G...

1354
01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:39,575
Look it up, Jamison. It's in the
dictionary. Look under "fragile."

1355
01:15:40,452 --> 01:15:43,246
Look under the table
if you don't find it there.

1356
01:15:43,372 --> 01:15:45,707
Uh, "Quotes, unquotes,
and quotes."

1357
01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:47,291
That's three quotes?
Yes, sir.

1358
01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:49,127
Add another quote
and make it a gallon.

1359
01:15:49,253 --> 01:15:51,254
How much is it, a gallon, Jamison?
Regards.

1360
01:15:51,380 --> 01:15:53,548
Regards. That's a fine letter, Jamison.
That's an epic.

1361
01:15:53,632 --> 01:15:54,632
That's dandy.

1362
01:15:54,717 --> 01:15:56,801
Now, I want you to make two
carbon copies of that letter

1363
01:15:56,885 --> 01:15:58,344
and throw
the original away.

1364
01:15:58,429 --> 01:16:00,680
And when you get through with that,
throw the carbon copies away.

1365
01:16:00,764 --> 01:16:02,223
Just send a stamp airmail.
And that's all.

1366
01:16:02,307 --> 01:16:03,683
You may go, Jamison.
I may go, too.

1367
01:16:03,767 --> 01:16:05,893
Mrs. Rittenhouse?

1368
01:16:05,978 --> 01:16:08,187
Yes? I'm Inspector Hennessey
from headquarters.

1369
01:16:08,272 --> 01:16:09,272
How do you do,
Inspector?

1370
01:16:09,356 --> 01:16:10,440
Let me
introduce myself.

1371
01:16:10,524 --> 01:16:12,400
I'm Captain Scotland
of Spaulding Yard.

1372
01:16:12,484 --> 01:16:14,527
No, I'm Captain Spaulding
of Scotland Yard.

1373
01:16:14,611 --> 01:16:15,945
Please don't make
the same mistake again.

1374
01:16:16,029 --> 01:16:17,363
I'm glad to know you,
Captain.

1375
01:16:17,448 --> 01:16:18,906
Well, I should think
you would be.

1376
01:16:18,991 --> 01:16:20,450
Now, then, inspector, I
think between the two of us

1377
01:16:20,534 --> 01:16:22,118
we can solve the mystery
of the stolen painting.

1378
01:16:22,202 --> 01:16:23,244
Especially,
if you go home.

1379
01:16:23,871 --> 01:16:27,540
Inspector, please don't be too
hasty about making an arrest.

1380
01:16:27,624 --> 01:16:29,375
I don't want
my guests embarrassed.

1381
01:16:29,626 --> 01:16:30,585
Don't worry.

1382
01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:32,378
We won't
arrest anybody.

1383
01:16:32,463 --> 01:16:34,005
He's lucky if he can stay
out of jail himself.

1384
01:16:34,506 --> 01:16:37,341
Mr. Jamison, would you mind
taking the inspector and his men

1385
01:16:37,468 --> 01:16:40,344
to the library and showing
them the scene of the crime?

1386
01:16:40,429 --> 01:16:41,721
Certainly,
Mrs. Rittenhouse.

1387
01:16:41,805 --> 01:16:43,055
Right this way,
Inspector.

1388
01:16:43,140 --> 01:16:44,640
Come on, boys.

1389
01:16:50,022 --> 01:16:52,273
And, Jamison,
count the spoons.

1390
01:16:53,150 --> 01:16:55,818
Captain, I didn't know
you'd been a detective.

1391
01:16:55,903 --> 01:16:57,904
There's a whole lot
of things you don't know.

1392
01:16:57,988 --> 01:16:59,238
I suppose that's so.

1393
01:16:59,323 --> 01:17:00,948
You know darn well
it's so.

1394
01:17:01,033 --> 01:17:03,868
Where were you on the
night of June 5, 1774?

1395
01:17:04,161 --> 01:17:05,286
I'm afraid
I don't know.

1396
01:17:05,370 --> 01:17:07,288
You bet you don't know.
Where was I?

1397
01:17:07,372 --> 01:17:08,372
I don't know.

1398
01:17:08,457 --> 01:17:10,750
Well, I don't know, either. And if
I did know I wouldn't tell you.

1399
01:17:10,834 --> 01:17:12,543
Put that in your
pipe and smoke it.

1400
01:17:12,628 --> 01:17:14,212
Take a number
from one to 10.

1401
01:17:14,338 --> 01:17:16,506
All right. All right.
What's the number?

1402
01:17:16,632 --> 01:17:18,633
Seven. That's right.
Seven is right.

1403
01:17:18,717 --> 01:17:20,676
I could have done it with
one hand if I wanted.

1404
01:17:20,761 --> 01:17:24,305
This is no mystery. I could solve this
in five minutes if I wanted to worry.

1405
01:17:24,389 --> 01:17:26,808
Captain, I don't
want you to worry.

1406
01:17:26,892 --> 01:17:29,477
I don't want anything to
interfere with your weekend.

1407
01:17:29,561 --> 01:17:30,978
Nothing ever interferes
with my weekend,

1408
01:17:31,063 --> 01:17:32,897
and I'll thank you not to get
personal, Mrs. Rittenhouse.

1409
01:17:33,023 --> 01:17:34,524
Captain. Captain, I assure you...
Where's my secretary?

1410
01:17:34,650 --> 01:17:35,983
I didn't mean... No, no.
Where's my secretary?

1411
01:17:36,109 --> 01:17:38,486
Jamison, Jamison? Captain,
you misunderstood me.

1412
01:17:38,612 --> 01:17:40,154
Oh! A more dastardly crack

1413
01:17:40,239 --> 01:17:41,614
I've never heard.
Oh. Captain, please.

1414
01:17:41,698 --> 01:17:44,158
I wish I was back in the
jungle where men are monkeys.

1415
01:17:44,284 --> 01:17:45,910
Captain, I'm so sorry. Jamison!

1416
01:17:45,994 --> 01:17:47,829
Jamison? No.
Oh, Captain.

1417
01:17:47,913 --> 01:17:48,996
Oh, dear.
No!

1418
01:17:49,081 --> 01:17:51,916
Good morning,
Mrs. Rittenhouse.

1419
01:17:52,251 --> 01:17:53,292
Good morning.

1420
01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:54,794
Perfectly
charming party.

1421
01:17:54,878 --> 01:17:57,296
I wouldn't have missed
it for the world.

1422
01:17:57,381 --> 01:17:59,465
It's just full
of surprises.

1423
01:17:59,716 --> 01:18:02,093
So glad you're
enjoying yourself.

1424
01:18:04,763 --> 01:18:06,430
Oh, Hives. Hives!

1425
01:18:07,683 --> 01:18:09,809
Good morning.
Some breakfast?

1426
01:18:09,977 --> 01:18:12,019
Breakfast, nothing. Did
you get the painting?

1427
01:18:12,104 --> 01:18:13,980
No, I did not.
I watched all night,

1428
01:18:14,064 --> 01:18:15,648
but the professor
did not sleep

1429
01:18:15,732 --> 01:18:16,941
in his room.
No?

1430
01:18:17,025 --> 01:18:18,818
Strange.
Very strange.

1431
01:18:18,902 --> 01:18:20,820
Good heavens, Hives!
What will we do?

1432
01:18:20,904 --> 01:18:23,656
I don't know. Until
we see the professor.

1433
01:18:59,359 --> 01:19:00,776
You keep
an eye on him

1434
01:19:00,861 --> 01:19:02,528
till I get back
with the bottle.

1435
01:19:02,613 --> 01:19:05,823
Don't worry, he'll not get
away from me this time.

1436
01:19:16,460 --> 01:19:18,044
Did you get it? Good.
Yes, madam.

1437
01:19:18,128 --> 01:19:20,504
Now, I'll go ahead and
engage him in conversation.

1438
01:19:20,589 --> 01:19:21,881
You'll trail behind,

1439
01:19:21,965 --> 01:19:25,259
and when the proper time
comes, see that he gets it.

1440
01:19:25,761 --> 01:19:27,386
Very good,
madam.

1441
01:19:31,475 --> 01:19:33,768
Oh, hello. I've been
looking all over for you.

1442
01:19:33,852 --> 01:19:35,227
Where have
you been?

1443
01:19:35,312 --> 01:19:36,854
What is the matter
with this?

1444
01:19:37,314 --> 01:19:39,607
What have you got there,
the morning papers?

1445
01:19:39,691 --> 01:19:41,734
No, that isn't
the one I want.

1446
01:19:41,818 --> 01:19:43,986
Let me see
one of the others.

1447
01:19:45,155 --> 01:19:47,448
That still isn't
the one I want.

1448
01:19:51,161 --> 01:19:53,579
You know what I want.

1449
01:20:03,674 --> 01:20:04,715
Out.

1450
01:20:06,468 --> 01:20:07,718
Yes, out.

1451
01:20:08,095 --> 01:20:09,095
Never mind
the birds.

1452
01:20:09,179 --> 01:20:11,514
Come on up here. Sit down.
I want to talk to you.

1453
01:20:16,436 --> 01:20:18,104
Don't you like me?

1454
01:20:18,814 --> 01:20:20,147
You don't?

1455
01:20:20,440 --> 01:20:21,774
Well, I like you.

1456
01:20:21,858 --> 01:20:23,943
I like little boys
like you.

1457
01:20:24,861 --> 01:20:27,446
By the way,
how old are you?

1458
01:20:29,074 --> 01:20:30,449
Five years old?

1459
01:20:30,534 --> 01:20:33,035
Why you're just a baby,
aren't you?

1460
01:20:40,585 --> 01:20:42,795
Aw, isn't that nice?
I like that.

1461
01:20:44,131 --> 01:20:45,840
No, no, no!

1462
01:20:46,883 --> 01:20:48,467
Now, all
joking aside.

1463
01:20:48,552 --> 01:20:50,761
Isn't there someone
you do like?

1464
01:20:51,388 --> 01:20:53,556
Isn't there
someone you love?

1465
01:20:54,725 --> 01:20:55,975
Now think again.

1466
01:20:56,059 --> 01:20:58,978
Isn't there someone you
really and truly love?

1467
01:20:59,938 --> 01:21:01,230
Is there?

1468
01:21:02,149 --> 01:21:03,566
Tell me who.

1469
01:21:09,322 --> 01:21:11,657
Why, that's a horse.
You love a horse.

1470
01:21:20,250 --> 01:21:22,043
Come on.
Lift him up.

1471
01:21:27,257 --> 01:21:28,382
Come on, he's out.

1472
01:21:28,467 --> 01:21:30,009
Let us get out.

1473
01:22:05,420 --> 01:22:06,462
Arabella.

1474
01:22:06,546 --> 01:22:08,547
John, I've been
trying to find you.

1475
01:22:08,632 --> 01:22:10,174
Ravelli has lost
the painting.

1476
01:22:10,258 --> 01:22:11,342
Well, I've been looking
all over for you.

1477
01:22:11,468 --> 01:22:13,344
I found a painting
out on the terrace.

1478
01:22:13,428 --> 01:22:14,720
Was it the Beaugard?
No.

1479
01:22:14,805 --> 01:22:16,305
Oh, yours!
Shh.

1480
01:22:19,392 --> 01:22:21,602
Well, if it's not yours
and it's not the Beaugard,

1481
01:22:21,686 --> 01:22:23,312
whose is it? Where
did it come from?

1482
01:22:23,396 --> 01:22:25,314
Oh, don't you see?
Someone else came along

1483
01:22:25,398 --> 01:22:27,358
and substituted it
for mine,

1484
01:22:27,442 --> 01:22:29,819
thinking they were getting away
with the original Beaugard.

1485
01:22:29,903 --> 01:22:32,530
Somebody swiped
my scheme, eh?

1486
01:22:32,989 --> 01:22:36,826
Hey, then Chandler never saw
your painting after all. No!

1487
01:22:37,035 --> 01:22:39,578
For all I know you may
still be a great artist.

1488
01:22:40,789 --> 01:22:42,581
Where is this picture?
It's up in my room.

1489
01:22:42,666 --> 01:22:45,417
Well, you go get it and
I'll get Captain Spaulding.

1490
01:22:45,502 --> 01:22:47,753
He'll get to
the bottom of this.

1491
01:22:59,850 --> 01:23:01,767
And then John found
a third painting.

1492
01:23:01,852 --> 01:23:03,018
Well, that's
very interesting.

1493
01:23:03,103 --> 01:23:04,103
Well, fairly
interesting.

1494
01:23:04,187 --> 01:23:06,272
But we've just got to keep a
sharp lookout. That's all.

1495
01:23:06,356 --> 01:23:07,523
Oh, I've got
to find it

1496
01:23:07,607 --> 01:23:09,567
or mother's
out of $100,000.

1497
01:23:09,651 --> 01:23:11,902
Now, don't worry. Let me work
on this case for 24 hours,

1498
01:23:11,987 --> 01:23:13,320
and then we'll call in
somebody else.

1499
01:23:13,405 --> 01:23:14,446
You think it's
a mystery now?

1500
01:23:14,531 --> 01:23:15,781
Wait till you'll
see it tomorrow.

1501
01:23:15,866 --> 01:23:17,616
Remember the Charley
Ross disappearance?

1502
01:23:17,701 --> 01:23:19,326
I worked on that
case for 24 hours

1503
01:23:19,411 --> 01:23:20,536
and they never
did find him.

1504
01:23:20,620 --> 01:23:22,246
They couldn't find me
for five years.

1505
01:23:22,330 --> 01:23:24,123
That's me, Captain Yard
of Scotland Spaulding.

1506
01:23:24,207 --> 01:23:25,791
I always get my women.
Or paintings.

1507
01:23:25,876 --> 01:23:27,960
Arabella! Can you imagine
what's happened?

1508
01:23:28,086 --> 01:23:29,712
You know that painting I found?
Yes?

1509
01:23:29,754 --> 01:23:31,797
Well, it's been stolen from my room.
John!

1510
01:23:31,882 --> 01:23:33,799
There you are. I've been
on the case five minutes

1511
01:23:33,884 --> 01:23:34,967
and there's another
painting gone.

1512
01:23:35,051 --> 01:23:36,135
I'll bet it's not
even five minutes.

1513
01:23:36,219 --> 01:23:38,304
I'll bet it
not over three.

1514
01:23:38,889 --> 01:23:41,348
Now they've got my watch!
This is going too far.

1515
01:23:41,433 --> 01:23:43,517
It wasn't going
and now it's gone.

1516
01:23:43,602 --> 01:23:45,144
The door to my room
was locked, too!

1517
01:23:45,228 --> 01:23:46,604
Well, how could
they get in?

1518
01:23:46,688 --> 01:23:47,855
Who could
it have been?

1519
01:23:47,939 --> 01:23:49,857
Wait a minute. I think
I've got a clue.

1520
01:23:49,941 --> 01:23:51,692
No, it's a hair.
A red hair.

1521
01:23:52,235 --> 01:23:53,694
The professor?

1522
01:23:53,778 --> 01:23:55,779
Oh, no.
No, it couldn't be.

1523
01:23:55,947 --> 01:23:58,240
Well, he's been picked this month
by the Crook of the Month Club.

1524
01:23:58,325 --> 01:24:00,534
Anyhow, we'll
investigate it.

1525
01:24:04,206 --> 01:24:05,331
You know Conductor
Hennessey, don't you?

1526
01:24:05,415 --> 01:24:07,416
Inspector!
Inspector yourself.

1527
01:24:07,500 --> 01:24:09,084
Now, listen, you know that
little redheaded fellow?

1528
01:24:09,169 --> 01:24:10,669
The professor?
Yes.

1529
01:24:10,754 --> 01:24:12,588
Well, get that gang of
flagpole sitters of yours

1530
01:24:12,672 --> 01:24:13,839
and see if you
can find him.

1531
01:24:13,924 --> 01:24:15,424
Aye, aye, Captain.
Come on, boys.

1532
01:24:17,469 --> 01:24:19,678
He'll get to the bottom of this.

1533
01:24:19,763 --> 01:24:21,639
You'll see how quick
these boys...

1534
01:24:21,723 --> 01:24:24,141
Hey, what's that punk
doing there?

1535
01:24:26,019 --> 01:24:28,270
They're good policemen.
Didn't take long to find him.

1536
01:24:28,355 --> 01:24:29,772
That's right.
This is it.

1537
01:24:29,856 --> 01:24:32,358
Yeah, this is it.
But which one is it?

1538
01:24:32,442 --> 01:24:34,610
That's the one that was
just taken from my room!

1539
01:24:34,694 --> 01:24:35,694
Well, we've got
that back.

1540
01:24:35,779 --> 01:24:36,904
Maybe I got
my watch back.

1541
01:24:36,988 --> 01:24:38,781
Now, the fob is gone.

1542
01:24:40,283 --> 01:24:42,409
Well, I still got
the pocket.

1543
01:24:42,786 --> 01:24:44,703
Anything I retain now
is velvet.

1544
01:24:44,788 --> 01:24:46,872
Except the coat.
That's Prince Albert.

1545
01:24:46,957 --> 01:24:48,249
Well, all the jokes
can't be good.

1546
01:24:48,333 --> 01:24:49,792
You've gotta expect
that once in a while.

1547
01:24:50,126 --> 01:24:52,878
Say, if we could find the fellow
that painted this picture,

1548
01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:54,672
well, we'd have
a pretty good clue.

1549
01:24:54,798 --> 01:24:57,091
What'd you say? I said if
we could find the fellow

1550
01:24:57,175 --> 01:24:59,718
that painted this picture,
we'd have a pretty good clue.

1551
01:24:59,803 --> 01:25:01,178
You just
said that!

1552
01:25:01,263 --> 01:25:04,473
What a dull conversationalist
you turned out to be.

1553
01:25:04,891 --> 01:25:07,268
Let me see that a minute.
Will you?

1554
01:25:07,352 --> 01:25:08,978
Say, this is signed
"Beaugard."

1555
01:25:09,062 --> 01:25:10,229
There's the criminal, Beaugard.

1556
01:25:10,313 --> 01:25:12,273
No, Beaugard
is dead!

1557
01:25:12,399 --> 01:25:14,733
Beaugard is dead?
Then it's murder!

1558
01:25:14,818 --> 01:25:16,860
Now we've got something.
What you got, Captain?

1559
01:25:16,945 --> 01:25:18,279
I got jacks and aces.
What do you got?

1560
01:25:18,363 --> 01:25:19,446
That's good.
I was bluffing.

1561
01:25:19,531 --> 01:25:21,073
Look at this, Ravelli.
Isn't there something

1562
01:25:21,157 --> 01:25:22,783
strikes you very funny
about this picture?

1563
01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:27,288
Oh, come, come. It isn't
as funny as all that.

1564
01:25:27,372 --> 01:25:29,581
Did you ever see
a tree like that?

1565
01:25:29,666 --> 01:25:31,542
Tree? That's
a spinach.

1566
01:25:31,876 --> 01:25:34,503
That can't be spinach.
Where's the egg?

1567
01:25:34,754 --> 01:25:37,423
Well, it could be spinach. Look,
all the sand laying around there.

1568
01:25:37,507 --> 01:25:39,133
You mean, it's an
old spinach custom?

1569
01:25:39,217 --> 01:25:40,384
No, it's not that,
Ravelli.

1570
01:25:40,468 --> 01:25:41,677
Anything but that.
Oh. No, Cap.

1571
01:25:41,761 --> 01:25:43,220
That's all right.
It's my mistake.

1572
01:25:43,305 --> 01:25:44,930
You know what that is?
That's coleslaw.

1573
01:25:45,015 --> 01:25:46,849
Coleslaw?
Yeah, it's a coleslaw.

1574
01:25:46,933 --> 01:25:48,434
Did you ever see
coleslaw like that?

1575
01:25:48,518 --> 01:25:50,394
Sure, look
at this one.

1576
01:25:50,603 --> 01:25:52,229
No, I don't want one
on your lip, now.

1577
01:25:52,314 --> 01:25:53,939
Did you ever see
anything like that?

1578
01:25:54,024 --> 01:25:55,607
Did you ever see
anything like that?

1579
01:25:55,692 --> 01:25:56,817
You know
what this is?

1580
01:25:56,901 --> 01:25:58,152
This is a left-handed
painting.

1581
01:25:58,236 --> 01:25:59,320
Look, there's
a signature.

1582
01:25:59,404 --> 01:26:00,779
That's right, it's in
the right-hand corner.

1583
01:26:00,864 --> 01:26:02,740
That's right. This is either
a left-handed painting

1584
01:26:02,824 --> 01:26:04,033
or a vegetable dinner.

1585
01:26:04,117 --> 01:26:06,493
Now, if we can find the left-handed
person that painted this,

1586
01:26:06,578 --> 01:26:08,454
we'll have The Trial of
Mary Dugan with sound.

1587
01:26:08,538 --> 01:26:10,039
Well, I saw that.
Good-bye.

1588
01:26:10,123 --> 01:26:12,750
Now, you wait here. I'm gonna need you.
Now, look.

1589
01:26:12,834 --> 01:26:14,877
We mustn't lose this.
This is evidence.

1590
01:26:14,961 --> 01:26:18,088
Now, take it to your room and leave the
door open this time. We'll try that.

1591
01:26:18,173 --> 01:26:21,467
And not a word about this
to anybody, not even to me.

1592
01:26:22,886 --> 01:26:26,055
Ravelli, we have got to find
the left-handed painting.

1593
01:26:26,181 --> 01:26:27,806
Yes, the left-handed painter.
Now in a case like this

1594
01:26:27,891 --> 01:26:30,100
the first thing to do
is to find the motive.

1595
01:26:30,185 --> 01:26:31,602
Now, what could have been
the motive of the guy

1596
01:26:31,686 --> 01:26:33,437
who has swapped
the Beaugard?

1597
01:26:34,230 --> 01:26:35,856
I got it!
Robbery!

1598
01:26:36,941 --> 01:26:38,650
Would you mind going out
and crossing the boulevard

1599
01:26:38,735 --> 01:26:40,569
when the lights
are against you?

1600
01:26:40,653 --> 01:26:42,321
See, Cap,
sit down.

1601
01:26:42,697 --> 01:26:44,948
You understand, I got an idea
how to find this painting.

1602
01:26:45,492 --> 01:26:48,869
In a case like this that is so
mysterious, you gotta get at the clues.

1603
01:26:48,953 --> 01:26:50,913
You gotta use
the Sherlock Holmes method.

1604
01:26:50,997 --> 01:26:52,623
Now, you go
about it like this.

1605
01:26:52,707 --> 01:26:54,583
You say to yourself,
"What happened?"

1606
01:26:54,709 --> 01:26:58,003
And the answer come back,
"Something was stolen."

1607
01:26:58,088 --> 01:27:01,173
Then you say to yourself,
"What was stolen?"

1608
01:27:01,257 --> 01:27:03,884
And the answer come
back, "A painting."

1609
01:27:06,096 --> 01:27:08,305
What are you,
a ventriloquist?

1610
01:27:08,598 --> 01:27:12,142
Now you say to yourself, "Where
was this painting stolen?"

1611
01:27:12,227 --> 01:27:14,937
And the answer come
back, "In this house."

1612
01:27:15,146 --> 01:27:17,147
Now, so far
I'm right, eh?

1613
01:27:17,357 --> 01:27:18,524
Well, it's pretty hard
to be wrong

1614
01:27:18,608 --> 01:27:21,360
if you keep answering
yourself all the time.

1615
01:27:21,444 --> 01:27:23,237
Now you go a little further,
and you say to yourself,

1616
01:27:23,321 --> 01:27:24,696
"Who stole the painting?"

1617
01:27:24,781 --> 01:27:26,907
This is a very, very
important question.

1618
01:27:26,991 --> 01:27:30,160
Captain, you get the answer, you've
got the solution to the whole thing.

1619
01:27:30,245 --> 01:27:32,746
Especially if you
find the picture.

1620
01:27:32,831 --> 01:27:34,164
Now you take
all the clues.

1621
01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:36,166
You put them together.
What do you got, eh?

1622
01:27:36,292 --> 01:27:38,710
A bread pudding.
No, here's what we got.

1623
01:27:38,795 --> 01:27:39,962
Something was stolen.

1624
01:27:40,046 --> 01:27:42,172
Stolen where? In this house.
Stolen by who?

1625
01:27:42,257 --> 01:27:43,465
Somebody
in the house.

1626
01:27:43,550 --> 01:27:46,635
Now to find the painting, you only gotta
do is go to everybody in the house

1627
01:27:46,719 --> 01:27:48,637
and ask them
if they took it.

1628
01:27:48,721 --> 01:27:52,349
You know, I could rent you out
as a decoy for duck hunters?

1629
01:27:52,809 --> 01:27:54,226
You say you're gonna go
to everybody in the house

1630
01:27:54,310 --> 01:27:56,061
and ask them if they
took the painting?

1631
01:27:56,146 --> 01:27:58,021
Suppose nobody in the
house took the painting.

1632
01:27:58,106 --> 01:27:59,690
Go to the house
next door.

1633
01:27:59,774 --> 01:28:00,774
That's great.

1634
01:28:00,859 --> 01:28:03,152
Suppose there isn't
any house next door.

1635
01:28:03,236 --> 01:28:06,280
Well, then of course
we gotta build one.

1636
01:28:06,364 --> 01:28:09,700
Well, now you're talking. What kind of
house do you think we ought put up?

1637
01:28:09,784 --> 01:28:11,076
Well, I'll tell ya, Cap.

1638
01:28:11,161 --> 01:28:14,830
You see. My idea of a house is something
nice and small and comfortable.

1639
01:28:14,914 --> 01:28:16,039
That's the way
I feel about it.

1640
01:28:16,124 --> 01:28:17,249
I don't want
anything elaborate.

1641
01:28:17,333 --> 01:28:18,917
Just a little place
that I can call home

1642
01:28:19,002 --> 01:28:21,211
and tell the wife I won't
be there for dinner.

1643
01:28:21,296 --> 01:28:23,714
I see. You just want
a telephone booth.

1644
01:28:23,798 --> 01:28:27,217
No, in that case, I'll get
in touch with Chic Sales.

1645
01:28:27,302 --> 01:28:30,846
Now, what do you say, Cap,
we build right about here?

1646
01:28:30,930 --> 01:28:32,264
Here? Yeah, right about here.

1647
01:28:32,348 --> 01:28:35,100
Oh, I'd like something over
here if I could get it.

1648
01:28:35,185 --> 01:28:38,604
I don't like junior crossing the tracks
on his way to the reform school.

1649
01:28:38,688 --> 01:28:40,772
I don't like junior at
all, as a matter of fact.

1650
01:28:40,857 --> 01:28:43,442
All right, all right. We
got something over there.

1651
01:28:43,526 --> 01:28:47,112
And believe me, that's convenient.
That's very convenient.

1652
01:28:47,197 --> 01:28:49,406
Well, all you gotta do
is open the door,

1653
01:28:49,491 --> 01:28:51,450
step outside
and there you are.

1654
01:28:51,534 --> 01:28:52,701
There you are?
Yeah.

1655
01:28:52,785 --> 01:28:54,995
"There you are" where? Outside.

1656
01:28:55,914 --> 01:28:57,456
Well, suppose you want
to get back in again?

1657
01:28:57,540 --> 01:28:59,333
You had no right
to go out.

1658
01:28:59,417 --> 01:29:02,669
Well, don't do anything until
I hear from you, will you?

1659
01:29:02,754 --> 01:29:05,005
Say, maybe that's the
painting down in the cellar!

1660
01:29:05,089 --> 01:29:07,090
That's no cellar.
That's the roof.

1661
01:29:07,175 --> 01:29:08,300
That's the roof?
Down there?

1662
01:29:08,384 --> 01:29:10,219
Yeah, you see, we keep
the roof in the basement,

1663
01:29:10,303 --> 01:29:12,554
so when the rain comes,
the chimney don't get wet.

1664
01:29:13,556 --> 01:29:15,307
I'm going out
and get X-rayed.

1665
01:29:15,391 --> 01:29:17,351
I'll be back
in a little while.

1666
01:29:17,435 --> 01:29:19,645
I may be wonderful, but I
think you're wrong, Ravelli.

1667
01:29:19,729 --> 01:29:22,481
Hey, wait, don't get up excited.
Come here.

1668
01:29:22,565 --> 01:29:24,107
Now, look,
here's the rooms.

1669
01:29:24,234 --> 01:29:26,026
Those are the rooms? Yeah.
Right, there's the rooms.

1670
01:29:26,110 --> 01:29:27,319
This is your room.

1671
01:29:27,403 --> 01:29:30,280
This is my room and this
is the maid's room.

1672
01:29:30,532 --> 01:29:32,991
Oh, I'd have to go
through your room?

1673
01:29:35,578 --> 01:29:38,247
Ah! That's all right.
I won't be in it.

1674
01:29:38,748 --> 01:29:40,165
Say, Ravelli,

1675
01:29:40,250 --> 01:29:42,209
you couldn't put the
maid in your room, eh?

1676
01:29:42,293 --> 01:29:44,545
What makes you think
I couldn't?

1677
01:29:44,629 --> 01:29:47,798
Well, there's gonna be a lot of
traffic in there. I can see that.

1678
01:29:47,882 --> 01:29:51,093
Well, what do you say? You
ready to sign the lease?

1679
01:29:51,928 --> 01:29:52,970
Well, it's a little
premature.

1680
01:29:53,054 --> 01:29:54,513
I'd like to discuss it
with my husband.

1681
01:29:54,597 --> 01:29:56,390
Could you come back this
evening when he is home?

1682
01:29:56,474 --> 01:29:57,641
Hey, you married?

1683
01:29:57,809 --> 01:29:59,518
Why, I've got a girl
as big as you are.

1684
01:29:59,602 --> 01:30:01,228
All right,
get me one.

1685
01:30:01,312 --> 01:30:03,188
Don't get vulgar,
Ravelli.

1686
01:30:03,273 --> 01:30:05,274
Ravelli, how about
the painting?

1687
01:30:05,358 --> 01:30:06,984
We take care
of that, all right.

1688
01:30:07,068 --> 01:30:08,235
Now, I tell you
what my idea is.

1689
01:30:08,319 --> 01:30:09,861
I think the kitchen
should be white.

1690
01:30:09,946 --> 01:30:11,822
Outside green, inside
cerise with blue...

1691
01:30:11,906 --> 01:30:14,032
The painting, I say. How
about the painting, Ravelli?

1692
01:30:14,117 --> 01:30:15,951
All right, what do you think I talk?
That's painting.

1693
01:30:16,035 --> 01:30:18,120
The kitchen white,
outside green, inside cerise.

1694
01:30:18,204 --> 01:30:20,122
The painting. The
painting that was stolen.

1695
01:30:20,206 --> 01:30:21,206
Stolen?

1696
01:30:21,291 --> 01:30:23,000
Don't you remember
Mrs. Rittenhouse lost

1697
01:30:23,084 --> 01:30:25,669
a valuable Beaugard
painting worth $100,000?

1698
01:30:25,753 --> 01:30:27,754
Don't you remember that?

1699
01:30:28,006 --> 01:30:30,424
No, I'm a stranger around here.
I no remember that.

1700
01:30:30,508 --> 01:30:33,218
What do you think I am,
one of the early settlers?

1701
01:30:33,303 --> 01:30:34,386
Ravelli,
don't you remember,

1702
01:30:34,470 --> 01:30:38,515
Mrs. Beaugard lost a valuable
Rittenhouse painting worth $100,000?

1703
01:30:38,725 --> 01:30:40,058
Don't you remember that?

1704
01:30:40,143 --> 01:30:42,811
No, but I've seen you
someplace before.

1705
01:30:44,731 --> 01:30:45,772
Well, I don't know
where I was,

1706
01:30:45,857 --> 01:30:47,816
but I'll stay out of
there in the future.

1707
01:30:47,900 --> 01:30:50,444
Hey, Cap, it come
to me like a flash!

1708
01:30:50,653 --> 01:30:52,988
This painting
wasn't stolen. Huh!

1709
01:30:53,197 --> 01:30:54,281
You know
what happened?

1710
01:30:54,365 --> 01:30:56,241
This painting, Cap,
is disappear.

1711
01:30:56,326 --> 01:30:57,951
Vanish.
Yes, it disappear.

1712
01:30:58,036 --> 01:31:00,370
And you know what make it disappear?
You'll never guess, Cap.

1713
01:31:00,455 --> 01:31:02,581
What do you think make this
painting disappear, eh?

1714
01:31:02,665 --> 01:31:06,543
Moths! Moths eat it!
Left-handed moths.

1715
01:31:10,840 --> 01:31:13,925
Go away. Go away. I'll be
all right in a minute.

1716
01:31:14,135 --> 01:31:16,136
Left-handed moths
ate the painting, eh?

1717
01:31:16,220 --> 01:31:17,763
That's my own solution.

1718
01:31:17,930 --> 01:31:19,640
I wish you were in it.

1719
01:31:19,724 --> 01:31:21,516
Left-handed moths
ate the painting.

1720
01:31:22,477 --> 01:31:25,187
You know, I'd buy you a parachute
if I thought it wouldn't open.

1721
01:31:25,938 --> 01:31:27,272
Hey, I got
pair of shoes.

1722
01:31:30,193 --> 01:31:31,318
That's crazy.

1723
01:31:31,402 --> 01:31:33,445
Come on, let's get out and get the reward.
We solved it.

1724
01:31:33,529 --> 01:31:35,656
You solved it! The
credit is all yours.

1725
01:31:35,740 --> 01:31:37,532
The painting was eaten
by a left-handed moth.

1726
01:31:37,617 --> 01:31:39,242
Hey, I know, we did
a good day's work.

1727
01:31:39,369 --> 01:31:40,702
How do you feel? Tired?
It's worth it.

1728
01:31:40,787 --> 01:31:42,913
Maybe you ought to lie down for
a couple of years, eh? Well...

1729
01:31:42,997 --> 01:31:45,040
Why don't you just lie down
until rigor mortis sets in?

1730
01:31:45,124 --> 01:31:46,541
Yeah. That's nothing.
Come on, Ravelli.

1731
01:31:46,626 --> 01:31:48,335
I'll show you how we get
the painting. Yeah.

1732
01:31:48,419 --> 01:31:51,296
We go to court and we get out
a writ of habeas corpus.

1733
01:31:51,381 --> 01:31:53,382
You're gonna
get rid of what?

1734
01:31:53,466 --> 01:31:56,510
Oh, I should never have started that way.
I can see that.

1735
01:31:56,594 --> 01:32:00,138
I say, we'll go to court and we'll
get a writ of habeas corpus.

1736
01:32:00,223 --> 01:32:01,598
Yeah, scorpus,
scorpus.

1737
01:32:01,683 --> 01:32:03,475
Didn't you ever
see a habeas corpus?

1738
01:32:03,559 --> 01:32:05,477
No, but I see
Habeas Irish Rose.

1739
01:32:06,896 --> 01:32:08,438
Hey, it's okay.

1740
01:32:10,692 --> 01:32:12,150
Good morning.

1741
01:32:12,235 --> 01:32:14,069
Good morning.

1742
01:32:14,779 --> 01:32:16,029
Mr. Chandler,

1743
01:32:16,114 --> 01:32:18,115
why don't you go down to
the beach with the others?

1744
01:32:18,199 --> 01:32:19,950
I'm sure
you'd feel better.

1745
01:32:20,034 --> 01:32:22,536
If I had my Beaugard,
I'm sure I'd feel better.

1746
01:32:22,787 --> 01:32:25,205
Oh, but we're doing
everything we can.

1747
01:32:25,289 --> 01:32:27,332
Mrs. Rittenhouse, Mrs. Rittenhouse!
I have it.

1748
01:32:27,417 --> 01:32:28,417
The Beaugard!

1749
01:32:28,501 --> 01:32:30,419
Wonderful!
My Beaugard!

1750
01:32:30,753 --> 01:32:32,546
Wait, this is
not my Beaugard!

1751
01:32:32,630 --> 01:32:34,881
This is a rank imitation.
Where did you find it?

1752
01:32:34,966 --> 01:32:36,007
Why, in Mr. uh...

1753
01:32:36,092 --> 01:32:37,843
In Mr. Parker's
room, madam.

1754
01:32:37,927 --> 01:32:39,136
Parker!

1755
01:32:39,345 --> 01:32:40,512
One thing
is certain!

1756
01:32:40,596 --> 01:32:42,973
The man who made that,
stole the Beaugard!

1757
01:32:43,099 --> 01:32:46,226
Hives, find Mr. Parker and ask him
to come here. Certainly, madam.

1758
01:32:46,310 --> 01:32:48,019
Wait a minute. My men
will bring him in.

1759
01:32:48,104 --> 01:32:49,855
Go out and get
Mr. Parker.

1760
01:32:49,939 --> 01:32:51,064
Oh, what's the matter with this?

1761
01:32:51,149 --> 01:32:54,359
Well, look at here. You've only to
look at it once to see what it is.

1762
01:32:54,444 --> 01:32:56,236
It is a rank nothing!

1763
01:33:19,135 --> 01:33:22,220
Mother, what's wrong? I can come
in without being pulled in.

1764
01:33:22,305 --> 01:33:24,973
Mr. Parker, something very
mysterious has occurred.

1765
01:33:25,057 --> 01:33:27,392
And I'm afraid, you're the
only one who can explain.

1766
01:33:27,477 --> 01:33:29,144
I'd be only too
glad to if I can.

1767
01:33:29,228 --> 01:33:30,270
Nothing mysterious
about it.

1768
01:33:30,354 --> 01:33:31,354
We found this
in your room.

1769
01:33:31,439 --> 01:33:33,315
Now, what have you done
with the original Beaugard?

1770
01:33:33,399 --> 01:33:34,566
Come clean!

1771
01:33:34,650 --> 01:33:35,609
Come on,
out with it.

1772
01:33:35,693 --> 01:33:36,693
Really, I think
I would be wise...

1773
01:33:36,778 --> 01:33:38,278
Well, I have
nothing to say.

1774
01:33:38,362 --> 01:33:39,905
Except that I don't know
where the Beaugard is.

1775
01:33:39,989 --> 01:33:41,907
Oh, how is it we found
this in your room?

1776
01:33:41,991 --> 01:33:43,366
Come on!
You better come with me.

1777
01:33:43,451 --> 01:33:44,451
You can't take him!

1778
01:33:44,535 --> 01:33:45,786
Arabella!

1779
01:33:45,870 --> 01:33:47,329
Sing one song

1780
01:33:47,413 --> 01:33:51,166
For my old Kentucky home

1781
01:33:51,709 --> 01:33:54,002
For my old

1782
01:33:54,587 --> 01:33:58,757
Kentucky home

1783
01:33:59,342 --> 01:34:03,261
Far away

1784
01:34:03,346 --> 01:34:07,933
So far away

1785
01:34:09,060 --> 01:34:11,561
This program is coming to you
from the House of David.

1786
01:34:18,361 --> 01:34:20,111
He's either got that
suit on upside down

1787
01:34:20,196 --> 01:34:22,280
or there is
no law of gravity.

1788
01:34:22,365 --> 01:34:24,241
Einstein or no one.
My tie!

1789
01:34:24,867 --> 01:34:26,910
Oh, Captain,
what shall I do?

1790
01:34:27,036 --> 01:34:28,328
They're going
to arrest John.

1791
01:34:28,371 --> 01:34:29,955
Who's going to arrest John?
I am, Captain.

1792
01:34:30,039 --> 01:34:31,414
Oh, you are, eh? Well, let
me tell you something.

1793
01:34:31,499 --> 01:34:33,208
The first thing they teach
you at Scotland Yard

1794
01:34:33,292 --> 01:34:34,543
is never to arrest
an innocent man.

1795
01:34:34,627 --> 01:34:35,794
But he's
not innocent.

1796
01:34:35,878 --> 01:34:37,379
I'll have to arrest
him just the same.

1797
01:34:37,672 --> 01:34:40,298
By all means or nobody
will be safe here.

1798
01:34:40,383 --> 01:34:41,925
You can't
arrest him!

1799
01:34:42,009 --> 01:34:43,426
- I stole it!
- Arabella!

1800
01:34:43,511 --> 01:34:45,095
Don't listen to her,
Officer. I did it.

1801
01:34:45,263 --> 01:34:46,805
They're both lying.
I did it!

1802
01:34:46,889 --> 01:34:48,056
I did it with
my little hatchet.

1803
01:34:48,140 --> 01:34:49,599
Eh, he's crazy.
He's crazy.

1804
01:34:49,684 --> 01:34:51,059
I confess,
I did it.

1805
01:34:51,143 --> 01:34:52,686
Or maybe nobody
stole the painting.

1806
01:34:52,770 --> 01:34:53,895
Maybe there was
no painting.

1807
01:34:53,980 --> 01:34:56,231
That's right, maybe there
was no painting. I saw it.

1808
01:34:56,315 --> 01:34:57,440
Cut out
all the talk.

1809
01:34:57,525 --> 01:34:58,775
Who stole
the painting?

1810
01:34:58,860 --> 01:35:00,193
I did.

1811
01:35:00,278 --> 01:35:01,278
Good gracious!
What!

1812
01:35:01,404 --> 01:35:03,071
What in the...

1813
01:35:03,155 --> 01:35:04,155
What? You?

1814
01:35:04,240 --> 01:35:05,323
You took
the picture?

1815
01:35:05,408 --> 01:35:06,825
Where is it?

1816
01:35:07,243 --> 01:35:08,952
Oh, that's
a horse.

1817
01:35:11,414 --> 01:35:13,790
The Beaugard!
That is my Beaugard!

1818
01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:16,126
No, that isn't
your Beaugard.

1819
01:35:16,419 --> 01:35:17,419
Don't be ridiculous.

1820
01:35:17,503 --> 01:35:19,379
I paid $100,000
for this painting.

1821
01:35:19,463 --> 01:35:20,463
I know
what I bought.

1822
01:35:20,548 --> 01:35:22,674
Well, look at
the signature.

1823
01:35:23,092 --> 01:35:24,634
"John Parker."

1824
01:35:24,844 --> 01:35:26,678
Somebody changed it.

1825
01:35:32,768 --> 01:35:34,185
That is my Beaugard!

1826
01:35:34,270 --> 01:35:36,313
That is the Beaugard,
I tell you!

1827
01:35:36,397 --> 01:35:37,397
There it is!

1828
01:35:37,690 --> 01:35:39,107
Ah, but that one.

1829
01:35:39,191 --> 01:35:42,861
That has the color, the depth,
the soul of the Beaugard!

1830
01:35:42,945 --> 01:35:45,322
Only a master could have
produced a painting like that.

1831
01:35:45,406 --> 01:35:47,365
Oh, John.

1832
01:35:47,491 --> 01:35:49,951
You mean to tell me that you
painted that? Yes, sir.

1833
01:35:50,036 --> 01:35:52,662
Why, young man, you're a genius!
You're a genius!

1834
01:35:52,747 --> 01:35:55,916
I commission you to paint a
portrait of me immediately!

1835
01:35:56,000 --> 01:35:57,542
Well, you better
wait until tomorrow.

1836
01:35:57,627 --> 01:35:59,044
I'm gonna be
busy all day.

1837
01:35:59,128 --> 01:36:00,712
Get it?

1838
01:36:02,757 --> 01:36:04,382
You better come with
me, young fellow!

1839
01:36:04,467 --> 01:36:05,884
Don't take him away,
Officer.

1840
01:36:05,968 --> 01:36:07,969
He returned
the paintings.

1841
01:36:09,305 --> 01:36:10,472
Pardon me,
my name is Spaulding.

1842
01:36:10,556 --> 01:36:11,848
I've always wanted
to meet you.

1843
01:36:11,933 --> 01:36:14,392
All right. I'll let
him go this time.

1844
01:36:14,477 --> 01:36:16,102
But I want to give you
some advice.

1845
01:36:16,187 --> 01:36:18,939
You're running around with
the wrong kind of people.

1846
01:36:19,023 --> 01:36:20,815
You wanna
be a crook?

1847
01:36:22,401 --> 01:36:23,777
Oh, why don't
you go home?

1848
01:36:23,861 --> 01:36:25,028
He's got no home.

1849
01:36:25,112 --> 01:36:27,697
Go home for a few
nights and stay home.

1850
01:36:27,865 --> 01:36:30,116
Don't you know your poor,
old mother sits there...

1851
01:36:37,208 --> 01:36:39,584
...sits there
night after...

1852
01:36:39,669 --> 01:36:41,836
...night after night.

1853
01:36:42,463 --> 01:36:45,048
...waiting to hear your
steps on the stairs.

1854
01:36:45,132 --> 01:36:46,758
He got no stairs.

1855
01:36:47,009 --> 01:36:49,886
And I can see a little
light burning in...

1856
01:36:50,012 --> 01:36:51,304
...burning
in the window.

1857
01:36:51,389 --> 01:36:54,224
No, you can't. The gas
company turned it off.

1858
01:36:54,350 --> 01:36:57,644
What I'm telling you
is for your own good.

1859
01:36:58,646 --> 01:37:01,106
And if you listen
to me...

1860
01:37:01,190 --> 01:37:03,316
You can't go wrong.

1861
01:37:07,863 --> 01:37:09,698
This may
go on for years.

1862
01:37:09,782 --> 01:37:10,782
Now, there's
just one thing...

1863
01:37:15,621 --> 01:37:17,664
I can't understand what's
delaying that coffee pot.

1864
01:37:19,583 --> 01:37:20,875
Where's the cream?

1865
01:37:20,960 --> 01:37:23,962
Well, you certainly
surprised me!

1866
01:37:24,380 --> 01:37:26,131
Me, too. I thought he
had more than that.

1867
01:37:26,215 --> 01:37:28,091
It's no use giving
you any advice.

1868
01:37:28,300 --> 01:37:31,011
Captain, this time I'm afraid
I'll have to take him.

1869
01:37:31,095 --> 01:37:33,304
Come on, here!
Come on! Come on!

1870
01:37:33,389 --> 01:37:35,473
Oh, what's he doing?

1871
01:37:37,768 --> 01:37:39,894
Oh, my dear, oh!

1872
01:37:40,312 --> 01:37:41,479
Hey, what's
the idea?

1873
01:37:41,564 --> 01:37:43,148
Jamison, take a
letter to my lawyer!

1874
01:37:43,232 --> 01:37:44,733
No, no! Oh, no!

1875
01:37:44,817 --> 01:37:47,360
Oh, no, no!
Not... Oh.

1876
01:37:47,445 --> 01:37:50,238
Oh, to think that I've
got to go so young.

1877
01:37:57,538 --> 01:37:58,997
Good. Come on, now.
Let's get out of here

1878
01:37:59,081 --> 01:38:00,331
before they all wake up.

1879
01:38:00,416 --> 01:38:03,376
Hurry up! Come on, come
on, come on, come on.