1
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,401
They wonder why those
of us in our twenties
2
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:28,158
refuse to work an 80-hour week
3
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,956
just so we can afford
to buy their BMWs,
4
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,995
why we aren't interested in the
counterculture that they invented,
5
00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:39,127
as if we did not see them
disembowel their revolution
6
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,924
for a pair of running shoes.
7
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,840
- Whoo! Yeah!
- But the question remains,
8
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,551
what are we going to do now?
9
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,635
How can we repair all the
damage we inherited?
10
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:54,350
Fellow graduates,
the answer is simple.
11
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:56,815
The answer is...
12
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,156
The answer is...
13
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,162
I don't know.
14
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,049
Good save, Lelaina.
15
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,053
I'm not a Valedictorian,
but I play one on TV.
16
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:29,010
We all know you slept
your way to the podium.
17
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:38,269
My favorite part about
graduating now will be
18
00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:41,226
dodging my student loan officer
for the rest of my life.
19
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:44,897
He will be in cahoots with the
Columbia Record and Tape Company guy.
20
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,108
Been after my ass for years.
21
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,533
Troy Dyer. Brought
you back a souvenir.
22
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:54,995
You could still go back
next year and graduate,
23
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,292
- still get your BFA.
- Oh, can I?
24
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:01,292
And then I can hang this
on my rearview mirror
25
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:04,545
to brag to all my good buddies
back home that I graduated.
26
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,549
Well, I'm through with
the whole wank-a-rama.
27
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,259
Well, I know this sounds
cornball, but, um,
28
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:17,813
I'd like to somehow make a
difference in people's lives.
29
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:23,607
And I... I would like to
buy them all a Coke.
30
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:27,698
And you wonder why we
never got involved.
31
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,775
Three words, November 16, 199...
32
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:33,120
- Oh, totally drunk.
- It would have been a poetic experience,
33
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:35,197
if I weren't such a gentleman.
34
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,250
Just let it go, Dyer.
Surrender the fantasy.
35
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:42,166
Hey, Sammy, what's your goal?
36
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,627
My goal is to...
37
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,801
I'd like a career or something.
38
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,930
I think the moment has been
appropriately captured.
39
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,061
Could you please take your
face out of the camera?
40
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,108
Come on. It's for my documentary.
41
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:08,815
Her documentary.
42
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,319
Think fast.
43
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:20,625
Here's the deal.
44
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,329
I'm gonna take Sam against his will
45
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,837
and straighten him out,
46
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:28,133
because I believe if we can get
two women on the Supreme Court,
47
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,965
we can get at least
one on you, Sam.
48
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:36,847
I'm Superman. I can fly.
49
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,427
She's toasted.
50
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,221
Quick, Vickie, what's
your Social Security?
51
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:44,854
Uh, 851-25-9357.
52
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,985
Very impressive.
53
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:50,606
It's the only thing
I really learned in college.
54
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:56,657
Sometimes I get that
not-so-fresh feeling.
55
00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:01,291
Conjunction junction
What's your function?
56
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,961
Hookin' up words and
phrases and clauses
57
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:09,132
Conjunction junction
How's that function?
58
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,084
I got three favorite cars
59
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,341
They get most of my job done
60
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,984
Honey, honey. Let me
do it for you. No, no.
61
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,788
- Is yours good?
- I don't think it's very fresh.
62
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,210
I'm sorry.
63
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:55,300
Well, I guess it's about time for me
to give you your graduation present.
64
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,888
- Your gas card.
- I'll pay that bill for one year.
65
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:04,559
And since Helen Anne's got
herself a brand-new Infiniti,
66
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,016
we're gonna give you her old BMW.
67
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,646
You pick it up at our house.
68
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:12,838
- BMW? BMW!
- Yeah.
69
00:05:12,864 --> 00:05:15,967
Tom, didn't you listen
to her speech today?
70
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,776
She doesn't want a BMW.
71
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,487
- Mom, I'll handle this.
- I'm not gonna sit here
72
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:24,315
and listen to some strange ethical
argument about a damn car.
73
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,247
It's got four wheels. It runs well.
74
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:30,126
After you've been in the real world,
you're gonna appreciate that car.
75
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:34,385
Just think of all those starving children
in Africa that don't even have cars.
76
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,799
Troy, does your father
give you gifts like that?
77
00:05:36,825 --> 00:05:37,784
Mom!
78
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:42,768
My father's dying of prostate cancer,
so I don't trouble him much for gifts.
79
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,015
- See, Tom?
- Hmm?
80
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,193
You don't want a BMW.
Tell him, Lelaina!
81
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:54,397
Charlane, she can
make up her own mind.
82
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:58,738
Dad, don't talk to her that
way. She's not a child.
83
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,994
Well, she married one.
84
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:03,871
What?
85
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:08,161
All right. Excuse me. Come on.
86
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:13,458
Mom, Dad, I'll take the BMW, until I
can afford to buy a regular car, okay?
87
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,126
Okay, Mom? Please?
88
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,337
Mom, please? Come on.
89
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:29,768
Get a Ford.
90
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,180
Just afloat on the sea
91
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:07,891
Find myself on a page of history
92
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,520
You know as I ride along
93
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:15,652
I can always hear the song
94
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,312
About you
95
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,861
And where you're meant to be
96
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,700
Well, you're gonna
tell me the answers
97
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:29,491
I'll know when you come back to me
98
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,304
If we should fall
99
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,717
Love will catch us every time
100
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:50,686
I hear you call I will run
101
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:58,355
And if the magic of the
adventure overcomes
102
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,488
We won't cry
103
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,408
Because it could be fun
104
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,663
Well, I'm gonna tell
you the answers
105
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:13,081
You'll know when you
come back to me
106
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:33,935
Gonna be all right
107
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,267
When you come back to me
108
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,226
Good morning.
109
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,153
Good morning!
110
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,610
Yes, good morning,
ladies and gentleman!
111
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:31,162
I see a gentleman right
over there! Good morning!
112
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,664
Good morning! Boy, I tell ya,
113
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,497
it is a good morning
with this audience.
114
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:41,839
Today for all you dieters, guiltless
goodies from Chef Skinny Ninny!
115
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,259
Ho-ho. Mmm.
116
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:48,805
And we'll also be visiting with
a man right here from Houston
117
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,933
- who is battling Alzheimer's.
- Aww.
118
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:57,314
A beautiful and touching story of
the triumph of the human spirit.
119
00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,650
He's so cheesy I can't watch
him without crackers.
120
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:05,989
Now let's take a peek inside our Video
View and see what we have in store today.
121
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:13,038
It's a special report on
children's birthday party themes.
122
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:17,000
Taped on location at eight-year-old
Davey Robbins' party
123
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:20,295
exclusively for our
Video View collection.
124
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,959
So come sit with me.
125
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,922
Relax. Have a cup of joe.
126
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:33,634
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
127
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:39,188
Well, anyway, it's gonna be
a good day, good morning.
128
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:42,484
You're beautiful!
129
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:49,740
Clear!
130
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:57,495
Am I here to amuse you, Ms. Pierce?
Is that the reason I'm on this show?
131
00:10:57,574 --> 00:11:00,578
I put on your note card
to get your own expresso.
132
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,662
Didn't you get my
"espress yourself" memo?
133
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:06,875
I don't have time for your games.
We're laying people off around here.
134
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:10,679
I can find an intern who'll do
your job for free, like that.
135
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,181
I been locked out
136
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,354
I been locked in
137
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,774
But I always seem
to come back again
138
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:30,527
And the view when I look
through my window...
139
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,735
That's a much better size.
That looks great.
140
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,195
That would go with the Easy Fits.
141
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,782
So... Oh, buttoning it up.
That's even better. Okay.
142
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:45,956
Yeah! Roll 'em right up.
It's liberating, isn't it?
143
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:53,297
I bought a toothbrush
Some toothpaste
144
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,723
A flannel for my face
145
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,096
Pajamas, a hair brush
146
00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,554
New shoes and a case
147
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,731
I said to my reflection
148
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:06,560
Let's get out of this place
149
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,484
Passed the church and the steeple
150
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,858
The laundry on the hill
151
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:16,286
Murders, there's one
committed each seven seconds
152
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,453
How do you know...
153
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:21,367
- Hello? I got cut off. I'm sorry.
- What the hell happened?
154
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:24,748
Tempted by the fruit of another
155
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:29,963
Hello? What?
156
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:33,928
Tempted but the truth is discovered
157
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:38,300
What's been goin' on
Now that you have gone
158
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,977
No, no, listen. He needs us.
159
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:44,727
He makes videos. We show
them, okay? It's symbiotic.
160
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:48,026
It's like the chicken or the egg,
both of them working together...
161
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:51,772
Well, I'm not scared of him.
162
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,357
No, no, I'm not scared of...
163
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:57,277
Jesus!
164
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,282
Michael, don't laugh at me.
165
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,406
What? No!
166
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,787
I'm in an accident.
I got in an accident.
167
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,043
You okay?
168
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,542
Yeah. No. I'll call you back.
169
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:13,255
- When you say "sue..."
- It's not really my idea.
170
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:16,178
I got my lawyer telling me
something about my rates...
171
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:20,637
Right. You mean like sue
in a courtroom for money?
172
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,636
I don't know. I've never done
anything like this before.
173
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:24,849
Do you have a lawyer?
174
00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:27,381
No, I don't have a lawyer.
I don't have a dentist.
175
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,402
I'm... You know,
I make $400 a week.
176
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:32,562
What do you do?
177
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,856
At the moment, I'm working...
178
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,192
I'm sorry. I just... I gotta...
179
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,783
Hello?
180
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:47,960
Yeah, what is it? I don't care if
she does 12 books of herself naked.
181
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,915
It doesn't... That's Dr. Zaius
from Planet of the Apes.
182
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:54,254
- Oh!
- I'm sorry. Someone else is in here.
183
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,717
Yeah? Well, let her say that to me.
184
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,927
- No, don't do that.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
185
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:03,594
No, no, you can... I was...
Go ahead. You want to touch it?
186
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,475
- Me?
- Yeah, go ahead. No, I was talking to...
187
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:10,434
Can I talk to you later?
Can we... What? Okay.
188
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,774
Um... Okay.
189
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,105
Um, uh...
190
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:19,359
You know what? Just forget it.
191
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,281
Really. Just forget
the whole thing.
192
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:25,741
It was probably my fault anyway, and
I'll get in trouble, and I don't...
193
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,627
You seem very sweet, and you
seem to like Dr. Zaius.
194
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,122
Oh.
195
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,626
That's...
196
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:37,677
Oh, I...
197
00:14:37,703 --> 00:14:40,405
That's... He was just a
collector's... No big...
198
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:44,643
- Um, well, here's... Here's his head.
- You know what? It's really...
199
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,179
You know, I think he's gone.
200
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,732
- Yeah.
- I'm, like, ruining your whole life here.
201
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,901
No, you're not, really.
202
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:56,980
Just don't touch anything else,
and I think we'll be fine.
203
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:01,656
Michael Grates, Vice President
Regional Programming,
204
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,202
In Your Face TV.
205
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,780
We've seen it. It's like
MTV, but with an edge.
206
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,082
- So is it a date?
- Yeah. Yep.
207
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,830
- Dinner?
- Coffee.
208
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,958
- Coffee or cappuccino?
- Oh, he ended up saying "decaf."
209
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,878
Oh, no. Early night. Is there
any pre-coffee activity?
210
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:19,844
- I don't think so.
- Did he ask you to go out or to hang out?
211
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:23,006
- Go out. He definitely said go out.
- Hey. How ya doin'?
212
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:25,641
- Oh, shit.
- What?
213
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,514
I forgot to tell you something.
214
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:32,441
- Are you out of your mind?
- He just got fired from the newsstand.
215
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:35,735
He needs a place to stay
until he can find a new job.
216
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,235
Vickie, that's the American dream
of the '90s. That could take years.
217
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:43,618
Look at it like a built-in security
system. We'll have a man around.
218
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:48,290
We'll have a hall monitor. I don't even
know if this is allowed in the building.
219
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:52,585
It's not like Mr. Roper's gonna
burst in. I'll just stay on the couch.
220
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:57,882
Vickie, he will turn this
place into a den of slack.
221
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:01,715
What the hell is your problem?
222
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:05,469
I have to work, and
unfortunately, Troy,
223
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:08,142
you are a master at the
art of time suckage.
224
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:10,766
Well, Miss Poster Girl
for The Workers Party,
225
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:14,687
until I get that toehold in the
burger industry, I got time to suck.
226
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:17,188
I'd rather check into a shelter.
227
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:21,148
I know how much you'd love
to mainline misery here,
228
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,529
but I can get you an
interview at my dad's plant.
229
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:29,323
- Is that part of my lease agreement?
- That or a credit check.
230
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,908
It's cool, Troy. You can stay.
231
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:35,620
- Welcome to the maxi-pad.
- Yeah, with the new Dri-Weave.
232
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:38,957
It actually pulls moisture
away from you. It's good.
233
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,835
You won't even know I'm here.
234
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,510
Well, should I get married
Should I be good
235
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:50,093
Should I astound the girl next door
with my velvet suit and Faustus hood
236
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:55,103
Take her to cemeteries and tell her of
werewolf tongues and forked clarinets
237
00:16:56,766 --> 00:17:00,361
What Hey, That's My Bike would
like to do eventually as a band
238
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,734
is travel the countryside
like Woody Guthrie.
239
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,649
Or, uh, Richard Simmons.
240
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,909
You know how he... Commercials,
241
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,907
he travels around,
surprises people jogging.
242
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,827
As you can see, I have, uh,
243
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:15,539
the occasional run-in with
an anti-Hey-That's-My-Biker,
244
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:18,997
and to those people,
I say nobody...
245
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,792
Nobody can eat 50 eggs.
246
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,174
- Laney?
- What-y?
247
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:29,014
The next time you make
microwave brownies,
248
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,843
I'd really consider
using a microwave.
249
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,387
It's just a thought.
250
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:38,104
You know, I finally figured out
what your problem is, Dyer.
251
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,855
What's that? I'm not a Pepper?
252
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:43,066
You suffer from the
philosopher-groupie syndrome.
253
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:47,269
You're this guy with, like,
a 180 IQ, 10 units away...
254
00:17:47,348 --> 00:17:48,917
- from a degree in philosophy.
- Yeah?
255
00:17:48,993 --> 00:17:51,572
And you always fall for
these dumb groupie types.
256
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:56,165
Now, they are not all dumb. Most of
them are just very, very depressed.
257
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,666
You find me attractive,
sitting here, eating brownies?
258
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,565
You do. You're strangely
attracted to me right now.
259
00:18:01,591 --> 00:18:04,514
You're oddly, oddly attracted
to me. It turns you on.
260
00:18:04,540 --> 00:18:07,366
- You like to watch, don't you?
- Come on! Come on! Come on!
261
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,095
- Don't! Come on. It's not funny.
- Here we are.
262
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,135
- Give it back.
- Give what back?
263
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,978
- Give it back!
- Give the brownies back?
264
00:18:16,004 --> 00:18:20,934
Oh, brownies, brownies! Oh! Oh!
I love brownies! My name's...
265
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,378
Hey, don't. Hey, watch the camera.
266
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,813
Don't do anything. That's not nice.
267
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,582
Mr. Gubler, um, do you have time
268
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:39,703
- to take a look at what I've done here?
- I need my questions.
269
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:43,586
Oh. Well, here's the research that
I did. You might want to read it,
270
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:46,692
'cause this guest has quite
a history in politics.
271
00:18:46,718 --> 00:18:48,532
Just give me my questions.
272
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,683
Excusez-moi.
273
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:04,227
- Are you all alone?
- Not anymore.
274
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:09,866
If I could bottle the sexual tension
between Bonnie Franklin and Schneider,
275
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,614
I could solve the energy crisis.
276
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:17,996
Excuse me. Don't
Bogart that can, man.
277
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,745
- Are you retarded?
- No, I'm rhyming.
278
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:26,461
It's not easy. I'm sure
I make it look easy.
279
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:31,220
- You guys better not be inhaling.
- Hi.
280
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:36,426
Lelaina, Vickie was just
promoted to manager of The Gap.
281
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,763
- Shut up.
- It's not even a big deal.
282
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:43,942
The old manager tried to kill herself
by eating a whole pot of poinsettias.
283
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:48,946
- Still, I'm so proud of you!
- I'll be making $400 a week.
284
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,904
We're never gonna have
rent problems again.
285
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:54,443
Troy, aren't you excited?
286
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,617
I'm bursting with fruit flavor.
287
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,744
Guys, I just thought of something.
288
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:04,330
I'm manager of The Gap. I'm
responsible for all those T-shirts:
289
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:08,048
French cut, V-necked,
ribbed, what-have-you.
290
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,781
Dude, I'm in trouble.
291
00:20:09,807 --> 00:20:12,011
No, you're not, Vick.
I know you can do it.
292
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:16,133
I just do not understand why
this moment has to be Memorexed.
293
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:21,646
Sammy, don't you realize? This is your
one opportunity to play a small part
294
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,557
in what is destined
to be greatness.
295
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:27,026
Laney here is gonna revolutionize
296
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:31,777
- Good Morning, Grant.
- Oh, my God! I'm so sorry! I had no idea!
297
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,488
Oh, yeah, look who's mocking.
All you do around here, Troy,
298
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:38,534
is eat and couch and
fondle the remote control.
299
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:41,741
I'm not under any orders to
make the world a better place.
300
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:44,543
- Then what good are you?
- You're a pathological optimist.
301
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,370
You're pathological.
302
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:50,800
Oh, would you two just do it and
get it over with? I'm starving.
303
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,345
Oh!
304
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,057
Hello. You've reached the
winter of our discontent.
305
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,520
Uh, hold on. It's some
Michael character?
306
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,068
- Who's Michael?
- Let's order a pizza.
307
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:14,024
Lelaina! If we promise to pay you
back, will you spot us a pizza?
308
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,030
- I don't have any cash.
- Domino's takes checks.
309
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,111
Okay, great.
310
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:23,036
Okay, bye. The owner of Domino's
supports Operation Rescue.
311
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,710
Oh, please, no one gives a shit
right now. We're starving.
312
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,709
Oh, wait.
313
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:34,877
Ta-da! We're going to eat gas.
314
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:42,844
- Ah!
- Who's this Michael guy?
315
00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:44,224
- Um...
- Hey.
316
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,851
- Vickie just figured something out.
- What?
317
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:49,229
Something wonderful.
318
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:52,312
"Evian" is "naive"
spelled backwards.
319
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:55,189
Can you turn this up, please?
320
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:58,405
Please? You won't be sorry.
321
00:21:59,035 --> 00:22:01,654
- Thank you.
- Oh, my little pretty one, pretty one.
322
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:05,367
When you gonna give me
some time, Sharona
323
00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:08,202
Ooh, you make my motor run
My motor run
324
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:11,664
Gun it, comin' it off
of the line, Sharona
325
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:14,921
Never gonna stop, give it up
Such a dirty mind
326
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,502
- I always get it up
- Come on!
327
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:18,132
For the touch of the younger kind
328
00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:21,136
My, my, my-y-y
329
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:22,637
- Whoa!
- Hey!
330
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:24,684
M-M-M-My Sharona
331
00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:30,942
Come a little closer, hon
I'll be your hunk
332
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:34,521
Close enough to look
in my eyes, Sharona
333
00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:37,698
Keepin' it a mystery
You get to me
334
00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:41,152
Runnin' down the length
of my thigh, Sharona...
335
00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:44,287
Good times
Anytime you need it, baby
336
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:47,792
Good times
Anytime you need a friend
337
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:51,625
Thelma's husband Keith's got
vodka hidden in the toilet.
338
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:55,709
- That's a good one.
- Doom-doom. James dies
339
00:22:55,833 --> 00:22:57,674
- That's a two-parter.
- I'll allow it.
340
00:22:57,751 --> 00:23:00,345
- J.J. works in the chicken shop.
- We did that.
341
00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:03,478
We did that in the same one
where he has a cape on.
342
00:23:03,504 --> 00:23:04,663
Drink up, man.
343
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,474
I hate to see that happen
to the rookie. Um...
344
00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:11,934
Alderman Davis judges a...
Oh, my God.
345
00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:15,771
- Hi.
- Are you a collection agent?
346
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:17,862
Lelaina!
347
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:22,319
Oh! Yeah! I'll be right there!
348
00:23:27,156 --> 00:23:27,908
Oh.
349
00:23:27,934 --> 00:23:30,918
If you ain't the most hardheaded
woman I have ever seen.
350
00:23:30,944 --> 00:23:31,606
Great.
351
00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:34,330
Hurry up, hurry up. Oh! It's me!
Willona dates a deaf guy.
352
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:35,393
Good, good, good.
353
00:23:35,419 --> 00:23:37,821
How about the one where
Gary Coleman comes on.
354
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:40,378
He's, like, the little... That guy?
355
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,598
- We did that one. Go.
- It was cute.
356
00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:48,394
- J.J.'s prom date. Gotta go, gotta go.
- Hi.
357
00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:51,473
Um, every... This is Michael.
358
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:56,356
You got a prom date
and a prom date...
359
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:59,029
- Too late. Wait up.
- I'm gonna go.
360
00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:01,399
- Bye.
- Michael throws a party. Sammy, let's go.
361
00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:05,157
Lelaina. You know the punishment
for premature evacuation.
362
00:24:06,362 --> 00:24:08,205
Frank's party. Sammy Joe?
363
00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:11,959
Penny! Willona adopts Penny! Shit!
364
00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:17,082
I'm, uh, making this
documentary about my friends,
365
00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:20,885
but it's really about people who are
trying to find their own identity
366
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,180
without having any real role
models or heroes or anything.
367
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,805
Wow. That sounds great.
I mean, it seems like
368
00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:32,309
your friends would be perfect
for that, like that guy Troy?
369
00:24:32,388 --> 00:24:34,140
- Troy, yeah.
- All done here, sir?
370
00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:36,608
- Uh, yeah.
- You don't want to finish that?
371
00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:39,358
No, I'm fine. I had a late...
372
00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:42,987
So, uh, so Troy is... You guys just...
It's like you guys living there,
373
00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:45,280
- just the two of you?
- No, no, no, no. It's...
374
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:49,956
It's me and Vickie, but he,
uh, got fired from his job,
375
00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:52,579
so he needed a place to crash
for a couple of weeks, so...
376
00:24:52,825 --> 00:24:58,457
- They, um, caught him stealing a Snickers.
- He stole a Snickers bar?
377
00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:01,209
Yeah.
378
00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:04,216
Somehow, he can rationalize it,
379
00:25:04,378 --> 00:25:07,928
like the, uh, establishment
owes him a Snickers.
380
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:12,265
Right, right. Well, I mean,
I guess, you know...
381
00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:21,816
You know, you're very beautiful.
382
00:25:23,814 --> 00:25:27,068
I mean... I mean, uh,
seriously, you're...
383
00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:32,327
I'm, uh... I'm, uh,
384
00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:35,751
not really good with compliments.
385
00:25:37,661 --> 00:25:42,258
Um, but, uh, um...
Are you religious?
386
00:25:45,002 --> 00:25:47,346
Um...
387
00:25:47,463 --> 00:25:49,966
- I'm sorry.
- Uh...
388
00:25:50,966 --> 00:25:54,345
I guess, um... I guess I'm, uh,
389
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,518
a non-practicing Jew.
390
00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:59,062
Hey, I'm a non-practicing virgin.
391
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:05,740
Who's this again?
392
00:26:06,148 --> 00:26:08,651
- Frampton. Peter Frampton?
- Frampton.
393
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:11,529
I can't believe you don't
remember Frampton Comes Alive.
394
00:26:11,612 --> 00:26:14,365
That album, like, totally
changed my life.
395
00:26:15,324 --> 00:26:20,831
The most profound, important
invention of my lifetime.
396
00:26:21,163 --> 00:26:24,417
The Big Gulp. Because,
see, now listen.
397
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:29,381
You get one in the morning. I'm
talking 44-ouncer, not this 32...
398
00:26:29,505 --> 00:26:32,304
- Wait a minute. Forty-four?
- Yeah, 44 ounces.
399
00:26:32,382 --> 00:26:35,226
How can you ingest 44
ounces of anything?
400
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:37,245
How can you ingest 44
ounces of anything?
401
00:26:37,271 --> 00:26:42,842
You get one, you have your essential
vitamins and nutrients for the entire day.
402
00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:44,329
Oh, yeah, definitely.
403
00:26:44,355 --> 00:26:47,052
- Sure, you're totally covered.
- You do.
404
00:26:47,564 --> 00:26:51,319
Well, I guess it doesn't really
take much to make me happy.
405
00:26:51,693 --> 00:26:54,572
Hey, I'm not... I'm not
materialistic either.
406
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:58,326
I mean, I think I'd be working
even if I wasn't getting paid.
407
00:26:58,408 --> 00:27:01,628
And I don't, like, want
to get a big house and...
408
00:27:01,703 --> 00:27:04,627
I just want, like, a nice house.
409
00:27:04,832 --> 00:27:07,711
I'm not into cars and stuff.
410
00:27:08,085 --> 00:27:09,883
I mean, I like my car.
411
00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:12,594
You're probably not...
Really not into, like,
412
00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:16,428
expensive, snazzy, Italian suits.
413
00:27:16,510 --> 00:27:18,387
- Oh, come on.
- I'm just kidding.
414
00:27:18,512 --> 00:27:21,891
- No, no, no. I'm not like that.
- I'm just kidding.
415
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:25,854
I mean, I mean... I'm... I mean...
416
00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:29,289
I know why the caged bird
sings and everything.
417
00:27:29,315 --> 00:27:30,395
Oh, yeah? Why?
418
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:34,904
Because he was in a
cage, and he was...
419
00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:37,331
I don't know. He had
high hopes or some...
420
00:27:37,406 --> 00:27:40,455
Okay, I dropped out of school
before we got to that, all right?
421
00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:43,791
I should have stayed in college
and gotten a degree in astronomy.
422
00:27:43,871 --> 00:27:46,090
- God, I love astronomy.
- Really?
423
00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:48,463
Yeah, I just... The math, though.
It was the math.
424
00:27:48,542 --> 00:27:52,172
Yeah, exactly. I loved astronomy,
too, and I got in the class,
425
00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:56,270
and it was like everything was
three squared times pi...
426
00:27:56,296 --> 00:27:58,206
- equals the root of...
- Pi!
427
00:27:58,260 --> 00:28:01,685
Pi. Yeah. And I just, like,
wanted to look at the stars.
428
00:28:02,181 --> 00:28:04,604
- Oh, same here. Exactly.
- It was so...
429
00:28:05,726 --> 00:28:07,245
I remember being so happy...
430
00:28:07,471 --> 00:28:10,632
on the roof of our old house,
just staring up at the stars.
431
00:28:10,731 --> 00:28:11,807
Mmm.
432
00:28:11,833 --> 00:28:14,636
I want to do that again.
I want to just...
433
00:28:14,943 --> 00:28:18,538
look up at the stars and
take the time to...
434
00:28:19,656 --> 00:28:22,910
smell the... Everything.
435
00:28:26,455 --> 00:28:29,334
'Cause it's like... Do you ever
have those moments in life
436
00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:31,760
where everything is okay?
437
00:28:32,753 --> 00:28:35,723
Do you know what I mean? Like, just
for one moment, everything is great?
438
00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:39,768
Not since I graduated.
No. But yeah, yeah.
439
00:28:40,093 --> 00:28:44,409
When you, like, catch yourself in
a moment, and you're saying...
440
00:28:44,435 --> 00:28:46,883
- "Wait, wait, I'm happy here."
- Right, right.
441
00:28:46,975 --> 00:28:50,174
- And then it just goes away really quickly.
- Gone.
442
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:52,898
I know I've had a couple of those.
443
00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:55,187
I always forget them, but
I know I've had them.
444
00:28:55,213 --> 00:28:57,048
Oh, me, too.
445
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:03,204
Like right now, this one.
446
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:08,797
Yeah, like now. It's...
447
00:29:08,997 --> 00:29:11,125
Who decides
448
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:16,217
Clouds are stalking
islands in the sun
449
00:29:18,215 --> 00:29:20,684
Wish I could buy one
450
00:29:22,511 --> 00:29:24,513
Out of season
451
00:29:25,806 --> 00:29:27,183
But don't
452
00:29:28,809 --> 00:29:30,356
Hesitate
453
00:29:31,979 --> 00:29:33,822
'Cause your love
454
00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:39,449
Won't wait
Hey
455
00:29:40,529 --> 00:29:43,282
Ooh, baby I love your way
456
00:29:43,365 --> 00:29:45,038
Every day
457
00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:51,707
Wanna tell you
I love your way, ooh
458
00:29:55,002 --> 00:29:58,006
Ooh, baby, I love your way
459
00:29:58,297 --> 00:30:01,471
Every day I wanna be
with you night and day
460
00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:04,352
- Shh!
- So you been up all night?
461
00:30:05,846 --> 00:30:10,397
I am picking up some very
strange vibes in here.
462
00:30:11,393 --> 00:30:15,068
They're of the
"I just got laid" variety.
463
00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:19,364
Did he dazzle you with his extensive
knowledge of mineral water?
464
00:30:19,526 --> 00:30:22,700
Or was it his in-depth
analysis of, uh,
465
00:30:22,779 --> 00:30:25,248
Marky Mark that finally
reeled you in?
466
00:30:26,116 --> 00:30:29,992
I would like to have been there
to watch how you rationalized
467
00:30:30,018 --> 00:30:33,236
sleeping with a yuppie-head
cheeseball on the first date.
468
00:30:33,415 --> 00:30:34,453
He's not a yuppie.
469
00:30:34,479 --> 00:30:37,336
He's the reason why
CliffsNotes were invented.
470
00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:42,873
Well, that pales in comparison to the
tweaked-out little skanks you date.
471
00:30:43,759 --> 00:30:46,888
- To hell with it. What do I care?
- What do you care?
472
00:30:46,970 --> 00:30:50,474
Why are you acting like a jealous
boyfriend all of a sudden?
473
00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:53,276
I am not acting like anything.
474
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:55,312
I am calmly reading.
475
00:30:57,731 --> 00:31:00,154
God. If something's bothering you,
476
00:31:00,233 --> 00:31:02,782
I wish you could be man enough
to talk to me about it.
477
00:31:04,571 --> 00:31:06,289
All right, Lelaina.
478
00:31:19,503 --> 00:31:21,631
I am really in love with you.
479
00:31:26,843 --> 00:31:29,346
Is that what you
want to hear? Is it?
480
00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:32,891
Well, don't flatter yourself.
481
00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:38,488
Go to hell.
482
00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:54,204
Since I've been manager here,
483
00:31:54,287 --> 00:31:58,508
our gross has increased
over 20%, uh...
484
00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:00,460
- So?
- What?
485
00:32:01,461 --> 00:32:05,307
Okay, okay. Um,
I guess I'm proud of that.
486
00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:08,511
Ho, please. Look at this sweater.
487
00:32:08,844 --> 00:32:10,972
People don't know what it takes.
488
00:32:11,054 --> 00:32:14,809
I've never been a good
example before, and, um,
489
00:32:15,559 --> 00:32:18,904
I've never been good with
responsibility, so, uh...
490
00:32:18,979 --> 00:32:22,859
I blame my parents, though. I think
I was conceived on an acid trip.
491
00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,574
My parents got divorced
when I was, uh,
492
00:32:26,862 --> 00:32:28,409
five years old.
493
00:32:29,156 --> 00:32:32,626
And I saw my father about three
times a year after that.
494
00:32:34,244 --> 00:32:38,624
And when he found out that he had
cancer, he decided to bring me here,
495
00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:40,926
and he gives me this big,
pink sea shell,
496
00:32:41,001 --> 00:32:45,177
and he says to me, "Son, the
answers are all inside of this."
497
00:32:45,589 --> 00:32:49,560
And I'm all, like, "What?" But then
I realize that the shell's empty.
498
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:53,100
There's no point to any
of this. It's all just a...
499
00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:58,026
A random lottery of meaningless
tragedy in a series of near-escapes.
500
00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:03,774
So I take pleasure in the
details. You know, uh,
501
00:33:04,774 --> 00:33:06,993
a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
502
00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:08,954
Those are good.
503
00:33:09,654 --> 00:33:13,955
The sky about 10 minutes
before it starts to rain.
504
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:18,755
The moment where your
laughter becomes a cackle.
505
00:33:20,290 --> 00:33:22,258
And I sit back, and I...
506
00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:25,087
I smoke my Camel straights.
507
00:33:27,881 --> 00:33:29,758
And I ride my own melt.
508
00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:32,306
Come on, come on. No laggin'.
509
00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:34,433
The free clinic AIDS test.
510
00:33:34,763 --> 00:33:37,186
The rite of passage
for our generation.
511
00:33:37,265 --> 00:33:38,938
We're so lucky. Come on.
512
00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:43,151
So, Vick, why are
you getting tested?
513
00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:46,650
One of my friends tested positive.
514
00:33:47,943 --> 00:33:50,913
Be on the safe side. You know.
515
00:33:55,951 --> 00:33:57,703
Vickie Miner.
516
00:34:02,332 --> 00:34:03,800
Vickie Miner?
517
00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:12,556
- You can forget it.
- Come on, Grant. That is incredible.
518
00:34:12,634 --> 00:34:14,887
It's junk. Depressing junk.
519
00:34:15,220 --> 00:34:17,814
You know my rules for Video
View, light and perky.
520
00:34:18,098 --> 00:34:22,353
Look, Lelaina, maybe I should
talk with Grant alone about this.
521
00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:28,738
Look, she's got real talent, and
I want to put her on staff.
522
00:34:28,817 --> 00:34:31,286
I will not have
Ms. Pierce on staff.
523
00:34:31,444 --> 00:34:34,323
I will walk out of here when
that happens. You watch.
524
00:34:34,489 --> 00:34:39,791
Okay, calm down. I mean, it's no big
deal. We don't have to have her.
525
00:34:39,953 --> 00:34:44,424
Having to look at that girl's pointy
face all day would make me ill.
526
00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:48,008
Just get rid of her like I
asked you in the first place.
527
00:34:51,590 --> 00:34:56,596
If I don't know where
to go, I'll get there.
528
00:34:57,345 --> 00:34:59,894
If I don't know where
to go, I'll get there.
529
00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:01,646
If I don't know...
530
00:35:07,314 --> 00:35:10,864
Ten seconds. Nine, eight, seven,
531
00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:14,367
- six, five, four...
- ...saves you money!
532
00:35:24,414 --> 00:35:26,382
Is this a good morning or what?
533
00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:28,631
Well,
534
00:35:28,877 --> 00:35:32,427
with us today is Libby
Cumba, author of this book.
535
00:35:34,674 --> 00:35:36,722
Self-esteem for Parent and Child.
536
00:35:37,177 --> 00:35:39,521
- Good morning, Libby.
- Good morning, Grant.
537
00:35:39,596 --> 00:35:42,190
Good morning. Now, Libby,
538
00:35:42,599 --> 00:35:44,727
I'm concerned with self-esteem.
539
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:49,569
Personally, I've always had an odd
preference for very, very young girls.
540
00:35:54,903 --> 00:35:58,373
Uh, uh, being a total prick...
541
00:36:01,576 --> 00:36:04,546
...ly pear, I, uh...
542
00:36:05,955 --> 00:36:08,504
Why don't we welcome
this audience again, huh?
543
00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:10,085
Good morning!
544
00:36:12,337 --> 00:36:14,681
I make more of a
mess than Ruby does.
545
00:36:14,756 --> 00:36:17,680
You guys, we have to
have a family meeting.
546
00:36:17,801 --> 00:36:20,350
- Something's happened.
- Oh, no! They've discovered NutraSweet
547
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,229
- causes you to grow a third eye.
- Oh, Jesus!
548
00:36:22,347 --> 00:36:25,601
- Everything's gonna be fine.
- Just wear a patch.
549
00:36:25,725 --> 00:36:27,027
Working out a plan.
550
00:36:27,053 --> 00:36:29,926
Yeah. There's a surgeon in
Paris who'll just remove it...
551
00:36:30,063 --> 00:36:32,737
- Just don't panic.
- It's not contagious.
552
00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:36,157
Would you shut up?
I just got fired.
553
00:36:36,277 --> 00:36:39,451
- Yeah.
- Oh, my god. What happened?
554
00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,491
You got fired?
555
00:36:42,075 --> 00:36:45,545
That just screws up my whole
idea of good and evil and...
556
00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:48,419
It's not like I had a hysterectomy.
You know, I got fired.
557
00:36:48,498 --> 00:36:50,717
I'll find something else, you know?
558
00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:54,554
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa! You're hired!
559
00:36:55,505 --> 00:36:57,428
I need a part-timer.
You need a job.
560
00:36:57,507 --> 00:37:00,511
That will be so cool!
It's only like $5 an hour,
561
00:37:00,593 --> 00:37:02,061
but it's a pretty good opportunity.
562
00:37:02,137 --> 00:37:04,435
- Yeah, it's a dream come true.
- It is!
563
00:37:04,514 --> 00:37:08,767
- You know, Vick, I'm working out a plan.
- Yeah? So what's the plan?
564
00:37:08,793 --> 00:37:12,772
I'm not gonna work at The
Gap, for Christ's sake. Okay?
565
00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:18,828
- No. I mean...
- Oh, no. I'm so sorry.
566
00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:22,498
Oh, how stupid of me to try
to drag you down to my level.
567
00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:25,828
- Vickie, you... Don't do this, okay?
- Shut up.
568
00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:29,506
Come on. This is just...
You know I didn't mean it.
569
00:37:29,831 --> 00:37:31,003
Vickie!
570
00:37:36,212 --> 00:37:38,715
Burn, baby, burn
571
00:37:39,632 --> 00:37:42,260
Burn, baby, burn
572
00:37:43,678 --> 00:37:46,898
Burn, baby, burn
Disco inferno
573
00:37:46,973 --> 00:37:52,696
Burn, baby, burn burn that mother
down, y'all, burn, baby, burn
574
00:37:54,355 --> 00:37:57,780
You see, this is where Troy
was fired from his 11th job.
575
00:37:58,109 --> 00:37:59,736
He was an illustrious
office cleaner.
576
00:37:59,861 --> 00:38:02,705
Now if you'll come
this way, please,
577
00:38:02,781 --> 00:38:07,378
we will continue our short but happy
walking tour of the career of Troy Dyer.
578
00:38:08,203 --> 00:38:10,877
And here we have the newsstand,
579
00:38:11,164 --> 00:38:13,713
where Troy dared to
ask the question,
580
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,219
"Are employee snacks subsidized?"
581
00:38:17,337 --> 00:38:19,214
The answer, tragically, "No."
582
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:22,308
In total, he has been fired
583
00:38:22,383 --> 00:38:25,182
- from, yes, count them, 12 jobs.
- Twelve?
584
00:38:26,095 --> 00:38:28,189
- Ouch.
- So you shouldn't feel so bad.
585
00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:31,025
One of these mornings I'm
gonna wake up before noon...
586
00:38:31,267 --> 00:38:35,238
- Yeah, right.
- ...I'm gonna turn on the TV,
587
00:38:36,689 --> 00:38:38,282
and there Bryant Gumbel
will be, and he'll say,
588
00:38:38,358 --> 00:38:40,235
"Today we have with us"
589
00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:44,156
"the Pulitzer Prize-winning
documentarian Lelaina Pierce."
590
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:48,335
"Lelaina, after your first
film, Why Barbie is Bad,"
591
00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:51,250
"you seemed to have forgotten"
592
00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:53,752
"all about your best
friend, Troy Dyer."
593
00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:57,043
Troy who? What was that name again?
594
00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:59,755
Oh! Right through the heart.
595
00:39:00,421 --> 00:39:02,765
I'll probably be working
at the Whole Foods,
596
00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:05,344
you know, playing warehouses, hanging
around places like the Radio Shack,
597
00:39:05,426 --> 00:39:08,555
screaming that I used to know
you, and you'll be there
598
00:39:08,721 --> 00:39:10,940
in the lights, and you'll
be all beautiful and shit.
599
00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:14,273
Oh, Troy, no, no.
That'll never happen.
600
00:39:14,727 --> 00:39:18,197
They would never hire
you at Whole Foods.
601
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,068
You see, Laney,
this is all we need,
602
00:39:23,027 --> 00:39:25,530
a couple of smokes, a cup of coffee
603
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:29,709
and a little bit of conversation.
604
00:39:30,076 --> 00:39:33,296
- You and me and five bucks.
- You got it.
605
00:39:34,664 --> 00:39:36,758
- You know what?
- Hmm?
606
00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:45,892
- No, no. No.
- What?
607
00:39:46,175 --> 00:39:49,179
- Troy, I can't. I can't.
- Why not? You never thought about it?
608
00:39:49,512 --> 00:39:52,641
- Well, yes, of course I have, but I...
- But what?
609
00:39:52,724 --> 00:39:54,897
I can't not be friends
with you, okay?
610
00:39:54,976 --> 00:39:58,276
I don't want that. That's not what I'm
talkin' about. I'm talkin' about a...
611
00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:02,367
- You know, evolving.
- I just can't handle this right now.
612
00:40:02,483 --> 00:40:05,953
- I can't evolve right now.
- Why not?
613
00:40:06,487 --> 00:40:08,364
- Because of Michael?
- No!
614
00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:12,748
Yeah. Yes, yes.
615
00:40:25,340 --> 00:40:27,342
My parents got divorced
when I was 14.
616
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:29,848
My dad, my dad,
617
00:40:30,011 --> 00:40:33,986
he remarried six months
after the divorce.
618
00:40:34,015 --> 00:40:36,155
That's quick. How did
everybody react?
619
00:40:36,181 --> 00:40:37,915
Um...
620
00:40:38,394 --> 00:40:40,943
My morn threatened to kill
herself in front of me.
621
00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:45,027
Patty got drunk in her closet every
morning before junior high school.
622
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,079
- And you?
- Well, I, um...
623
00:40:49,322 --> 00:40:52,917
Somebody had to remember
to take out the trash,
624
00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:55,249
sign the report cards,
buy the milk,
625
00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:59,299
so, um, that kind of
ended up being me.
626
00:41:00,667 --> 00:41:03,341
I don't want to get married,
'cause I see how my parents are,
627
00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:06,673
and they've been together
like, um, 26 years,
628
00:41:07,173 --> 00:41:09,301
and they're like brother
and sister at this point.
629
00:41:09,384 --> 00:41:12,558
My mother goes to the
bathroom with the door open.
630
00:41:12,929 --> 00:41:16,183
That's "A". And "B,"
it's disgusting.
631
00:41:16,265 --> 00:41:18,984
I don't want any part of that.
I want first kisses.
632
00:41:19,060 --> 00:41:21,404
I want passion the
whole way through.
633
00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:25,776
It's better than havin' to kiss
your husband's ass all the time.
634
00:41:26,275 --> 00:41:27,401
Yeah.
635
00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:32,241
I think that your documentary would
be perfect for In Your Face.
636
00:41:33,533 --> 00:41:35,334
- Forget it. You're probably thinking...
- No!
637
00:41:35,410 --> 00:41:39,506
- ...more like, you know, PBS or something.
- No! No.
638
00:41:39,580 --> 00:41:43,255
I... You know what it is,
though? It's that I...
639
00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:48,265
Boy, okay. When I made this thing,
I kind of made this promise to myself
640
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:50,558
that I wasn't gonna think
about where it was gonna
641
00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:52,681
end up, 'cause I didn't wanna
642
00:41:52,927 --> 00:41:55,305
unintentionally commercialize it.
643
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,854
I think that's great. I think
you should definitely not
644
00:41:58,933 --> 00:42:01,937
unintentionally do anything that
you're not comfortable with.
645
00:42:02,061 --> 00:42:05,861
- I mean, not that I would intentionally...
- Well, plus, it's not done yet.
646
00:42:05,940 --> 00:42:08,534
Right. I know.
It was just a stupid...
647
00:42:08,609 --> 00:42:11,237
You know, I gotta go to
New York on Wednesday
648
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,199
for this huge network
meeting thing,
649
00:42:14,282 --> 00:42:16,956
which is totally...
God, you would hate it.
650
00:42:17,452 --> 00:42:21,377
I hate it. I just thought that they
would freak out over your tapes,
651
00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:23,754
'cause they never see
anything that's really smart
652
00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:26,757
and has real, you know, quality
653
00:42:26,836 --> 00:42:30,431
and is good, like
you and your work,
654
00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:33,677
and I know I'm being selfish.
655
00:42:34,635 --> 00:42:36,637
Michael? Um,
656
00:42:37,638 --> 00:42:41,359
that is literally, literally,
657
00:42:41,434 --> 00:42:44,813
the nicest thing that
anyone's ever said to me.
658
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:49,235
The sweetest thing that
anyone's ever said to me.
659
00:42:56,866 --> 00:42:59,870
So what are you doing for
the rest of your morning?
660
00:42:59,952 --> 00:43:03,001
Well, um... What am I doing?
What am I doing?
661
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,384
Oh, well, I have a job interview.
662
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:09,929
- Lelaina, this thing is from 1988.
- I know.
663
00:43:10,171 --> 00:43:13,345
So you're, like, six years late.
664
00:43:21,265 --> 00:43:25,395
I thought the ad said that this was
a job for a production assistant.
665
00:43:25,853 --> 00:43:29,153
Yes, you will be assisting me
666
00:43:29,899 --> 00:43:33,369
in the production of
videotapes, all right?
667
00:43:33,653 --> 00:43:36,702
You're gonna make copies
for me. Many copies.
668
00:43:38,241 --> 00:43:42,917
Oh, is this like a...
Like a pirate operation?
669
00:43:44,372 --> 00:43:46,591
Do I look like a pirate to you?
670
00:43:48,918 --> 00:43:51,171
Radio is all instinct, Lelaina.
671
00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:53,765
Do you know where all
radio comes from?
672
00:43:54,006 --> 00:43:56,225
The gut. It's all in the gut.
673
00:43:57,009 --> 00:43:59,387
'Cause when you think on your
feet, gotta go from your gut,
674
00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:02,565
and my gut is telling me that, uh,
675
00:44:02,932 --> 00:44:04,177
this isn't gonna work out.
676
00:44:04,203 --> 00:44:06,837
Maybe your gut's just
saying you're hungry or...
677
00:44:06,894 --> 00:44:09,818
Oh, no, no, no. It's
telling me that, uh...
678
00:44:10,565 --> 00:44:13,193
you're overqualified for this job.
679
00:44:13,276 --> 00:44:15,699
I'm really not that smart.
680
00:44:18,156 --> 00:44:21,126
No offense, sweetie, but you don't
have any experience on a newspaper.
681
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:22,326
You're TV.
682
00:44:22,410 --> 00:44:25,835
I'm trying to make my
transition to print journalism.
683
00:44:25,913 --> 00:44:26,939
Ah. Why?
684
00:44:26,965 --> 00:44:31,069
Well, newspapers are the last
watchdogs of our government.
685
00:44:31,127 --> 00:44:34,381
They enforce the checks and balances, and
a half hour of TV only adds up to one...
686
00:44:34,463 --> 00:44:38,184
Okay. All right. Define "irony."
687
00:44:39,594 --> 00:44:41,767
Irony, uh... Irony.
688
00:44:42,847 --> 00:44:47,193
It's a noun. It's, uh,
when something is ironic.
689
00:44:48,311 --> 00:44:52,282
Well, I can't, uh, really define
irony, but I know when I see it.
690
00:45:15,588 --> 00:45:17,181
Hey. Hey.
691
00:45:18,049 --> 00:45:22,020
Oh, my God. I've never been so glad
to see anyone in my entire life.
692
00:45:22,261 --> 00:45:25,811
This day has been the biggest nightmare.
These job interviews, Troy?
693
00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:29,189
The word "vivisection,"
a staggering understatement.
694
00:45:29,602 --> 00:45:31,730
I mean, can you define "irony"?
695
00:45:31,812 --> 00:45:35,407
It's when the actual meaning is the
complete opposite from the literal meaning.
696
00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:39,237
Oh, my God.
697
00:45:40,071 --> 00:45:44,827
- Where were you when I needed you today?
- Uh, I should go.
698
00:45:45,117 --> 00:45:50,624
Oh, come on. Isn't there some statute of
limitations for embarrassing incidents?
699
00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:55,674
Your bravado is embarrassing.
700
00:45:59,131 --> 00:46:01,008
Hey, Troy.
701
00:46:02,009 --> 00:46:04,057
Come on. You can stay with
me for one cigarette.
702
00:46:04,470 --> 00:46:06,814
I know you can stay with
me for one cigarette.
703
00:46:07,139 --> 00:46:09,858
You and me? Five bucks?
Good conversation?
704
00:46:10,851 --> 00:46:12,023
Right?
705
00:46:14,188 --> 00:46:15,360
Laney.
706
00:46:17,692 --> 00:46:20,411
Troy, you haven't been
home in four days.
707
00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:22,906
Where have you been sleepin'?
708
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:27,577
I gotta go.
709
00:46:34,163 --> 00:46:37,995
Mom, I need to talk
to you about a loan.
710
00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:45,394
Is it for drugs?
711
00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:52,190
No. No, it's not for drugs.
I was... I lost my job.
712
00:46:54,020 --> 00:46:57,149
But you shouldn't have any trouble
findin' another job, sugar booger.
713
00:46:57,231 --> 00:47:01,828
No, see, I tried. I applied for every
single opening in my field, but there's...
714
00:47:01,902 --> 00:47:04,576
There's nothing right now.
715
00:47:05,698 --> 00:47:09,077
Mmm, well. I hate to say it,
716
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,379
but times are hard.
717
00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:14,753
You're just gonna have
to swallow your pride.
718
00:47:15,583 --> 00:47:18,382
Why don't you get a job at
Burgerama? They'll hire you.
719
00:47:18,586 --> 00:47:20,384
My Lord, I saw on TV
720
00:47:20,463 --> 00:47:24,184
they had this little retarded
boy workin' the cash register.
721
00:47:24,759 --> 00:47:27,057
Because I'm not retarded, Mom.
722
00:47:28,262 --> 00:47:30,640
I was Valedictorian
of my university.
723
00:47:31,766 --> 00:47:35,111
Well, you don't have to put
that down on your application.
724
00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:47,332
Ms. Pierce, do you have any idea what it
means to be a cashier at Wienerschnitzel?
725
00:47:47,782 --> 00:47:51,582
Yeah, it's taking orders
and making change and, uh,
726
00:47:51,911 --> 00:47:54,630
- taking...
- No. It's a juggling act.
727
00:47:55,498 --> 00:47:58,547
A juggling act. You mean,
like, metaphorically?
728
00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:02,259
No. I mean you got people
comin' at you from the front,
729
00:48:02,421 --> 00:48:06,767
comin' at you from the back, from the
sides, people at the condiment exchange,
730
00:48:06,926 --> 00:48:09,770
people at the drive-thru,
kids on bikes,
731
00:48:09,929 --> 00:48:12,899
- and they're all depending on who?
- Me?
732
00:48:13,057 --> 00:48:16,607
Yeah. You got time to lean,
you got time to clean, buddy.
733
00:48:17,144 --> 00:48:20,865
You gotta be 150% on your
toes, 150% of the time.
734
00:48:21,190 --> 00:48:25,787
There you go, sir, and have a
'tude, Wienerdude. All righty.
735
00:48:26,404 --> 00:48:28,953
Okay, I'm gonna throw a
few numbers out at you.
736
00:48:29,031 --> 00:48:31,580
You put 'em together in your
head as quick as you can.
737
00:48:31,951 --> 00:48:34,750
- Okay.
- 85 and 45. Go.
738
00:48:35,538 --> 00:48:37,415
- 140.
- Nope.
739
00:48:37,581 --> 00:48:39,709
- 150.
- Nope.
740
00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:42,219
- 160.
- It's not an auction.
741
00:48:43,129 --> 00:48:46,554
Ms. Pierce, there's a reason
I've been here six months.
742
00:49:04,567 --> 00:49:07,946
...for the entire summertime
occurring in one day.
743
00:49:08,112 --> 00:49:10,456
Then last night we had
snow reports in Utah.
744
00:49:10,614 --> 00:49:12,833
Today reports of I-70
shut due to the snowfall.
745
00:49:12,992 --> 00:49:14,710
Now that very strong jet stream...
746
00:49:15,661 --> 00:49:18,460
- Royalton Hotel.
- Is this the Royalton Hotel?
747
00:49:18,539 --> 00:49:21,008
- That's what I said.
- Sorry. I didn't hear you.
748
00:49:21,792 --> 00:49:24,295
I'm looking for a guest there.
His name's Michael Grates?
749
00:49:24,378 --> 00:49:25,721
Hold one moment, please.
750
00:49:29,049 --> 00:49:31,893
That guest is out. Would you
like to leave a message?
751
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:35,394
Oh, no, that's okay. I'll
just try again later. Thanks.
752
00:49:41,353 --> 00:49:45,403
Hi, I'm Cheryl Goode, and welcome to
Wedgie, The World of Hip Couture.
753
00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:47,947
This week we're in South
Central Los Angeles
754
00:49:48,027 --> 00:49:52,248
at the intersection of Florence and
Normandie, the flash point of fashion.
755
00:49:52,406 --> 00:49:55,034
The faddest gangsta trend
will increase your piece.
756
00:49:55,201 --> 00:50:00,583
This bandana by Donna Karan is blue for
Crips, red for Bloods and only costs $75.
757
00:50:00,748 --> 00:50:03,001
Ooh, hit me hoppin'
in a lifelike limbo
758
00:50:03,167 --> 00:50:05,340
Lookin' out of a smudged-up window
759
00:50:05,461 --> 00:50:07,509
We're not sure where
our lives are goin'
760
00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:09,590
Crazy sucker outside
begins a slow leak
761
00:50:09,673 --> 00:50:11,675
Don't know where our
next dollar's comin' from
762
00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:13,765
Livin' the life of a poor musician
763
00:50:14,094 --> 00:50:17,815
Hairline's gone so he keeps his
nine-to-five grubby, grubby...
764
00:50:30,694 --> 00:50:32,913
Laney, have you seen a
pack of guitar strings?
765
00:50:32,988 --> 00:50:36,037
- I have to bring them to the club.
- I hope he knows
766
00:50:36,116 --> 00:50:39,165
that he still has to pay
some rent around here.
767
00:50:41,539 --> 00:50:45,294
I don't know where he thinks
he's spending his nights, but...
768
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,428
Do you know?
769
00:50:49,838 --> 00:50:53,092
I'm late for a jean-folding
seminar. Let's locomote.
770
00:50:59,682 --> 00:51:03,858
Now you can call your own personal
psychic anytime, 24 hours a day.
771
00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:06,989
Thanks to the nationwide
Psychic Discovery network,
772
00:51:07,231 --> 00:51:10,826
you can pick up the phone and talk
directly with a professional psychic
773
00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:12,574
in the privacy of your own home.
774
00:51:12,653 --> 00:51:17,033
I was unhappy in my career, and I needed
a change, but I didn't know what to do.
775
00:51:17,658 --> 00:51:20,036
- I called the Psychic Discovery Network...
- Nothing is going down
776
00:51:20,119 --> 00:51:22,668
- according to plan.
- Mm-hmm.
777
00:51:22,746 --> 00:51:24,669
I mean, my best friend?
778
00:51:25,165 --> 00:51:27,839
I feel like I've lost him forever,
779
00:51:28,460 --> 00:51:31,339
and he was, like, my
touchstone, you know?
780
00:51:32,047 --> 00:51:35,267
This man, does his name
start with the letter "N"?
781
00:51:35,342 --> 00:51:39,267
Because I'm getting a very
strong "N" vibration.
782
00:51:40,306 --> 00:51:44,027
Newsstand! "N," newsstand. He
used to work at a newsstand.
783
00:51:44,101 --> 00:51:47,776
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, God, this is unbelievable.
784
00:51:47,855 --> 00:51:50,358
Honey, that's not all I'm getting.
785
00:51:50,691 --> 00:51:53,365
I mean, there are people
I know from high school,
786
00:51:53,444 --> 00:51:56,448
who are already married
and having babies.
787
00:51:57,156 --> 00:52:00,160
I mean, babies, okay?
788
00:52:00,409 --> 00:52:02,707
I can't even take
care of a Chia Pet.
789
00:52:02,870 --> 00:52:06,090
Honey, I didn't have kids until
I was on my third husband.
790
00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:08,797
- Oh, really?
- All Geminis.
791
00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:13,347
You know what I think, Denell?
792
00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:17,010
I think you still
really love Monte.
793
00:52:17,092 --> 00:52:20,221
Yeah, you're probably right,
but it don't matter now.
794
00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:22,272
Oh, yes, it does, Denell.
795
00:52:22,431 --> 00:52:24,274
I know you're afraid,
796
00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:29,314
but you gotta find him, and you've
gotta tell him how you really feel.
797
00:52:29,396 --> 00:52:31,945
Find him? I've got five...
798
00:52:32,149 --> 00:52:36,074
Lelaina, we need to talk to you.
799
00:52:39,406 --> 00:52:41,750
Hold on, Denell. Mmm. Hold on.
800
00:52:41,909 --> 00:52:43,752
- I'm on the phone.
- Yeah.
801
00:52:44,078 --> 00:52:47,878
I can see that. And we
have a $406 phone bill,
802
00:52:48,457 --> 00:52:51,506
mainly due to some calls
to a 1-900 number.
803
00:52:51,585 --> 00:52:54,429
Lelaina, I'm sensing
you're in some trouble.
804
00:52:54,505 --> 00:52:56,303
We'd help you out,
but we're broke, too,
805
00:52:56,423 --> 00:52:59,768
and we can't afford a new deposit
if the phone gets shut off.
806
00:53:03,263 --> 00:53:05,982
Maybe you could, uh, borrow
the money from Michael.
807
00:53:06,266 --> 00:53:08,985
Ohh, no, Sammy. Jesus.
808
00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:13,282
Laney, what are you doing?
You lay on that couch all day.
809
00:53:13,399 --> 00:53:17,324
Those pajamas are like a uniform.
You run up a $400 phone bill.
810
00:53:17,611 --> 00:53:21,115
You watch TV. You chain smoke.
You don't go outside.
811
00:53:21,448 --> 00:53:23,701
Man, you are in the bell jar.
812
00:53:24,451 --> 00:53:29,578
Look, this is my apartment.
I signed the lease.
813
00:53:29,604 --> 00:53:33,359
I let you move in here when
you had no job, no money,
814
00:53:33,393 --> 00:53:36,614
- and you sponged off me for two months.
- Yeah. Sponged?
815
00:53:36,630 --> 00:53:39,349
And now Miss Big Power Monger
goes, "I'm manager of The Gap."
816
00:53:39,466 --> 00:53:42,250
You think you can just come
in here and push me around?
817
00:53:42,276 --> 00:53:43,667
She's not bein' pushy.
818
00:53:43,804 --> 00:53:46,978
Sammy, what are you even
doing here? You don't live here.
819
00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:52,484
Hey, my little unemployed waif, you're the
one who's lookin' for work now, okay?
820
00:53:53,313 --> 00:53:55,611
You're really enjoying
this, aren't you?
821
00:53:55,691 --> 00:53:59,946
You're high. Why don't you go take a
walk outside and get some fresh air?
822
00:54:01,029 --> 00:54:03,532
You've been waiting for
this since the day we met.
823
00:54:03,615 --> 00:54:06,038
Who told you that?
Your psychic partner?
824
00:54:10,330 --> 00:54:13,800
I'll tell you the problem with your
generation. You don't have any work ethic.
825
00:54:14,126 --> 00:54:16,220
Take your friend,
Troy, for example.
826
00:54:16,295 --> 00:54:21,051
I went out of my way to set up an interview
for him and he didn't even show up.
827
00:54:21,759 --> 00:54:27,139
That wasn't his fault. He asked me to
call and cancel. Everything was going on
828
00:54:27,165 --> 00:54:29,125
- ...and it slipped my mind.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
829
00:54:29,224 --> 00:54:31,554
I'm sorry. But I have
a work ethic, Dad.
830
00:54:31,580 --> 00:54:34,362
- A very stong work ethic. Ask anyone.
- Good. Good.
831
00:54:34,579 --> 00:54:38,468
All you got to do is show
some ingenuity, hmm?
832
00:54:38,984 --> 00:54:40,984
Darlin', I love you and I
hate to break your plate,
833
00:54:41,028 --> 00:54:42,871
but you gotta grow up sometime.
834
00:54:42,946 --> 00:54:46,576
Now, I want you to go out there
and show me some ingenuity.
835
00:54:57,586 --> 00:54:59,213
Ow-w-w
836
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,519
Let me talk with you, my baby
837
00:55:05,636 --> 00:55:07,638
It is fair to say that maybe
838
00:55:07,721 --> 00:55:13,774
It is time for you to say we
need to share a point of view
839
00:55:13,936 --> 00:55:17,657
Livin' in the never never
Droppin' out of it together
840
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:22,195
I could spend some time
forever with a girl like you
841
00:55:22,361 --> 00:55:25,410
Let me hear you say yeah
Let's go
842
00:55:25,572 --> 00:55:27,825
Ooo-Ooo-Ooo-Ooo
843
00:55:27,991 --> 00:55:33,248
You want to turn it in
Turn it into heaven, yeah
844
00:55:33,413 --> 00:55:37,919
Let's go
Ooo-Ooo-Ooo-Ooo
845
00:55:38,085 --> 00:55:42,090
You want to turn it in
Turn it into heaven
846
00:55:42,256 --> 00:55:45,931
Right here on earth
847
00:55:46,093 --> 00:55:48,812
Lookin' for tomorrow
848
00:55:50,973 --> 00:55:53,442
Can you see us one day
849
00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:58,735
Beg or steal or borrow
850
00:56:00,983 --> 00:56:03,281
We could live forever
851
00:56:06,446 --> 00:56:08,448
Never to say never
852
00:56:09,157 --> 00:56:13,788
You will be for me
I will fight for you, yeah
853
00:56:13,954 --> 00:56:17,754
Let's go
Ooo-Ooo-Ooo-Ooo
854
00:56:17,916 --> 00:56:22,892
You want to turn it in
Turn it into heaven, yeah
855
00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:29,978
Well, that solves our first problem.
Rent's due this week.
856
00:56:34,141 --> 00:56:38,647
Well, well. Look who finally
decided to grace us with his...
857
00:56:40,772 --> 00:56:41,819
Presence.
858
00:56:41,899 --> 00:56:45,199
- This is, uh... This is, uh, Jean.
- Janine.
859
00:56:46,570 --> 00:56:48,572
Uh, Janine, Janine. It was...
860
00:56:48,655 --> 00:56:50,453
It was a little loud in the club.
861
00:56:50,532 --> 00:56:51,909
Excuse me.
862
00:56:53,493 --> 00:56:56,997
- Can't stay here, Troy.
- I'm just gonna pick something up.
863
00:56:57,372 --> 00:57:01,843
Well, mission accomplished.
Now leave.
864
00:57:02,169 --> 00:57:03,421
I think maybe I'm gonna wait...
865
00:57:03,503 --> 00:57:06,677
Always the mistress of
etiquette, you know, Laney?
866
00:57:07,507 --> 00:57:10,727
Why are you suddenly acting
like a jealous girlfriend?
867
00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:14,857
We're just trying to pay bills here.
So, Troy, if you got any money...
868
00:57:14,932 --> 00:57:18,607
Money? Oh, but what's
money to an artist?
869
00:57:18,936 --> 00:57:20,904
To a philosopher? It's just, uh,
870
00:57:21,146 --> 00:57:24,776
green-colored paper that floats
in and out of his life like snow.
871
00:57:24,858 --> 00:57:27,907
It's nothing you actually have to,
I don't know, work for, is it, Troy?
872
00:57:28,070 --> 00:57:31,540
- Not if you have Daddy's little gas card.
- You shut up!
873
00:57:31,698 --> 00:57:36,704
You shut up! I busted my ass to find a job.
You don't even show up for interviews.
874
00:57:36,912 --> 00:57:39,882
What is it that you want from me?
You want me to get a job on the line,
875
00:57:39,998 --> 00:57:44,299
until I'm granted leave with my gold-plated
watch and my balls full of tumors,
876
00:57:44,378 --> 00:57:46,801
'cause I surrendered the one
thing that means shit to me?
877
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:50,726
You can exhale, 'cause it's not
gonna happen in this lifetime.
878
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:53,790
All right, fine. You don't
want to work? Fine.
879
00:57:53,816 --> 00:57:56,211
- You want to be in a band?
- Laney, goddamn it!
880
00:57:56,264 --> 00:58:00,815
Then be in a goddamn band! Rehearse
every day! Play three times a night!
881
00:58:00,978 --> 00:58:05,074
Don't just dick around the same
coffeehouse for five years.
882
00:58:05,232 --> 00:58:08,031
Don't dick around with her.
Or with me.
883
00:58:08,443 --> 00:58:12,038
Try at something for once in your life.
Do something about it. But you know what?
884
00:58:12,114 --> 00:58:14,833
You better do it now
and better do it fast,
885
00:58:14,908 --> 00:58:16,910
because the world doesn't
owe you any favors.
886
00:58:16,994 --> 00:58:20,714
And whether you know it or not, you're
on the inside track to Loserville, USA,
887
00:58:21,373 --> 00:58:22,920
just like him.
888
00:58:33,301 --> 00:58:36,180
Okay, it's just too
psychotic in here now.
889
00:58:36,304 --> 00:58:39,558
- Lelaina, let's go for a walk.
- Fine.
890
00:58:41,435 --> 00:58:43,688
Come on, man, let 'em go.
891
00:58:47,149 --> 00:58:49,902
With pleasure, my
friends, with pleasure.
892
00:58:50,652 --> 00:58:53,622
"With pleasure." I really feel
sorry for that poor girl.
893
00:58:53,739 --> 00:58:56,478
How about when he sneaks
his laundry in with ours?
894
00:58:56,908 --> 00:58:58,632
It's like I'm pullin' that
stuff out of the dryer
895
00:58:58,634 --> 00:59:01,588
and there's five pairs of his boxers
I've just washed unknowingly.
896
00:59:01,621 --> 00:59:05,046
I'll just throw it back in his face.
I'm gonna do his laundry. Yeah!
897
00:59:05,292 --> 00:59:09,889
He's weird, he's strange, he's sloppy,
he's a total nightmare for women.
898
00:59:09,963 --> 00:59:12,967
I can't believe I haven't
slept with him yet.
899
00:59:14,301 --> 00:59:16,395
Do you ever wish
you were a lesbian?
900
00:59:16,636 --> 00:59:19,310
Don't you think it would
be so much easier?
901
00:59:21,141 --> 00:59:25,442
Sometimes. But, aah,
I couldn't go through with it.
902
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:27,864
I'd start laughing or something.
903
00:59:29,274 --> 00:59:32,653
It's such a shame. I am
so through with men.
904
00:59:33,278 --> 00:59:36,828
If one more guy walks out on me,
I don't even know what. I swear.
905
00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:40,957
What are you talking about? Walk out
on you? You walk out on them.
906
00:59:41,161 --> 00:59:44,335
I've seen you. You're out the
door before the condom comes off.
907
00:59:44,998 --> 00:59:47,751
Listen to me, I'm just
beating them to the punch.
908
00:59:48,168 --> 00:59:49,260
Okay.
909
00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:54,638
You don't even know.
I'm sitting here
910
00:59:55,342 --> 00:59:59,768
maybe... Probably dying of AIDS.
911
01:00:06,895 --> 01:00:08,897
And I am totally alone.
912
01:00:14,361 --> 01:00:15,578
Vickie.
913
01:00:19,574 --> 01:00:21,247
You're not alone.
914
01:00:22,452 --> 01:00:26,707
Hey. Look, I'm sorry
for everything I said.
915
01:00:27,124 --> 01:00:29,718
And I'm sorry for
being such a bitch,
916
01:00:30,418 --> 01:00:33,217
but I have to tell you
you're not alone.
917
01:00:33,505 --> 01:00:36,179
You're not. And you're
not dying of AIDS.
918
01:00:36,550 --> 01:00:41,477
You don't understand. Every day, all
day, it's all that I think about, okay?
919
01:00:41,763 --> 01:00:46,064
Every time I sneeze, it's like I'm
four sneezes away from the hospice.
920
01:00:46,143 --> 01:00:51,400
It's not even happening to me. It's
like I'm watching it on Melrose Place.
921
01:00:51,523 --> 01:00:55,278
And I'm the new character. The HIV-AIDS
character and I live in the building.
922
01:00:55,402 --> 01:00:58,747
I teach everybody it's okay to be
near me, it's okay to talk to me.
923
01:00:59,072 --> 01:01:00,665
And then I die.
924
01:01:01,032 --> 01:01:04,002
There's everybody at my funeral
wearing halter tops and chokers
925
01:01:04,077 --> 01:01:06,079
or some shit like that.
926
01:01:06,329 --> 01:01:09,048
Vickie, stop, okay? Just stop.
927
01:01:09,374 --> 01:01:13,299
You're freaking out. And you know what?
You're gonna have to deal with the results.
928
01:01:13,378 --> 01:01:16,973
We're gonna have to deal with them just
like we've dealt with everything else.
929
01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:19,176
- This isn't like everything else.
- I know that.
930
01:01:20,177 --> 01:01:22,771
All right? But it's gonna be okay.
931
01:01:23,263 --> 01:01:25,766
You know? I know
it's gonna be okay.
932
01:01:30,437 --> 01:01:32,940
Melrose Place is a
really good show.
933
01:01:41,781 --> 01:01:43,954
Lelaina Pierce.
934
01:01:45,452 --> 01:01:48,171
Is there a Lelaina Pierce here?
935
01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:54,795
Yeah.
936
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:00,968
- Hello.
- Lelaina?
937
01:02:01,009 --> 01:02:03,979
- Hi!
- I had to call you right away.
938
01:02:04,095 --> 01:02:06,268
- Listen, don't kill me, okay?
- What? What?
939
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:09,314
- I took the tape and I showed it.
- No!
940
01:02:10,018 --> 01:02:14,023
Wait, wait. Listen. They freaked out.
They want to buy them.
941
01:02:14,272 --> 01:02:15,819
- No.
- Yes!
942
01:02:16,816 --> 01:02:20,320
- They liked it?
- No, they like psychotically loved it.
943
01:02:20,403 --> 01:02:22,872
They wanna pay you for it.
944
01:02:22,948 --> 01:02:24,950
I know this isn't PBS,
but is this okay?
945
01:02:24,976 --> 01:02:28,152
Yes! I was this close to selling
fruit at intersections!
946
01:02:28,178 --> 01:02:29,638
Well, don't, all right? Don't.
947
01:02:29,663 --> 01:02:33,634
Just hang on. I'm gonna get you some money.
I'm gonna be down there in a few days.
948
01:02:33,792 --> 01:02:37,592
I'm thinkin' about you
every second. Hello?
949
01:02:37,754 --> 01:02:40,724
- Hello! Hello, hello!
- Hello? Can you hear me now?
950
01:02:41,508 --> 01:02:44,011
- Where are you?
- I'm in a phone booth.
951
01:02:44,427 --> 01:02:46,521
Why are you on a cellular phone?
952
01:02:47,097 --> 01:02:48,849
I don't know. I have no idea.
953
01:02:48,932 --> 01:02:52,277
Michael, Michael, Michael!
I really miss you!
954
01:02:52,435 --> 01:02:54,688
I really miss you, too.
I love you. I... Oh, whoa!
955
01:02:55,188 --> 01:02:57,782
I mean, I mean, you amaze me!
956
01:02:57,857 --> 01:03:01,282
No, you amaze me!
957
01:03:01,444 --> 01:03:04,744
- Hello, can you hear me?
- No, Michael, I'm losing you.
958
01:03:05,532 --> 01:03:07,785
I'm gonna call you back.
Wait. What?
959
01:03:12,455 --> 01:03:15,334
Pay phone outside always amazes me.
960
01:03:17,002 --> 01:03:18,049
Hey.
961
01:03:19,587 --> 01:03:21,260
Try me. I'm free.
962
01:03:22,549 --> 01:03:25,519
Good mag, good mag.
963
01:03:28,221 --> 01:03:29,848
- Negatory.
- Yeah!
964
01:03:32,058 --> 01:03:35,437
Do ya hear that? Negative!
Here, let me see that.
965
01:03:37,439 --> 01:03:41,410
- Hey, hey! All righty. Whoo!
- Thanks for coming.
966
01:03:41,568 --> 01:03:43,834
A celebration zoom.
967
01:03:43,860 --> 01:03:46,540
- Let's get some ice cream.
- Okay, enough.
968
01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:48,575
- Ma!
- I'm right here, son.
969
01:03:48,867 --> 01:03:50,244
- Ma.
- Yeah?
970
01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:54,456
I have to tell you some... thing.
971
01:03:55,540 --> 01:03:59,261
I am a homosexual.
972
01:04:01,129 --> 01:04:02,676
Oh, Christ.
973
01:04:04,007 --> 01:04:09,355
Is there a support group I can join to
come to terms with my own homophobia?
974
01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:14,063
Yes, there is. A group
which is named P-FLAG,
975
01:04:14,225 --> 01:04:18,355
Parents and Friends
of Lesbians and Gays.
976
01:04:19,814 --> 01:04:21,532
Oh. Oh.
977
01:04:22,150 --> 01:04:25,825
P'flag. I'm beginning to
like the sound of that.
978
01:04:28,823 --> 01:04:31,827
What you've just witnessed here
is a pre-enactment of events
979
01:04:31,910 --> 01:04:34,129
that are about to take place.
980
01:04:36,122 --> 01:04:37,339
Well...
981
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,673
I came out to her.
982
01:04:43,004 --> 01:04:46,474
She's still a little bit upset.
983
01:04:48,009 --> 01:04:49,477
But you know,
984
01:04:50,887 --> 01:04:54,983
you know, the real reason that
I've been celibate for so long
985
01:04:55,141 --> 01:04:58,736
isn't really because I'm that
terrified of the big "A".
986
01:04:58,895 --> 01:05:01,489
But because I can't
really start my life
987
01:05:01,564 --> 01:05:03,987
without being honest
about who I am.
988
01:05:04,109 --> 01:05:07,079
And...
989
01:05:07,153 --> 01:05:10,498
I wanna be in there, too.
I wanna feel miserable
990
01:05:10,657 --> 01:05:13,661
and happy and all of that.
991
01:05:13,827 --> 01:05:16,171
I mean, I... I wanna...
992
01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:22,177
I wanna be let back in the house.
993
01:05:32,637 --> 01:05:33,763
Hello?
994
01:05:34,973 --> 01:05:36,099
Oh, hi.
995
01:05:36,724 --> 01:05:39,603
Um, sorry. Just...
996
01:05:40,019 --> 01:05:42,863
Door was... So I just, uh...
997
01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:46,652
Yeah. She's getting dressed.
998
01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:01,208
I'll just...
999
01:06:10,049 --> 01:06:12,133
I don't know if she
told you, but...
1000
01:06:12,159 --> 01:06:15,046
I just came back from New York
with the tapes that she made.
1001
01:06:15,096 --> 01:06:18,600
And the stuff with you,
that's really great stuff.
1002
01:06:19,058 --> 01:06:23,484
That whole thing about, uh,
nobody can eat all the eggs?
1003
01:06:23,646 --> 01:06:26,399
That was... That was really...
1004
01:06:26,983 --> 01:06:29,156
I was quoting Cool Hand Luke.
1005
01:06:30,778 --> 01:06:36,251
Yeah, that's okay. I mean, that's...
I know. I mean, still, it's...
1006
01:06:37,619 --> 01:06:38,666
Hi.
1007
01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:41,752
- Hi.
- Hi.
1008
01:06:42,665 --> 01:06:44,714
What happened to
your normal clothes?
1009
01:06:44,835 --> 01:06:48,559
Wow. Lelaina, look at you. You
look... Where'd you get that dress?
1010
01:06:48,588 --> 01:06:52,258
Oh, um, I don't know.
I just bought it.
1011
01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:54,264
But I think I'm gonna change...
1012
01:06:54,385 --> 01:06:56,387
No, don't. You look beautiful.
1013
01:06:56,513 --> 01:06:59,983
- You look like... You look like...
- A doily.
1014
01:07:04,103 --> 01:07:06,356
- I'm gonna change.
- No, don't change.
1015
01:07:06,439 --> 01:07:08,362
And don't go thinkin' for
yourself either, Laney.
1016
01:07:09,484 --> 01:07:12,454
- What is your glitch, huh?
- My glitch?
1017
01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:15,874
You know what? We're already late.
1018
01:07:15,949 --> 01:07:18,498
- No, no. Hang on a second here.
- Ohh!
1019
01:07:18,576 --> 01:07:20,305
Do you have a problem
with me or something?
1020
01:07:20,331 --> 01:07:22,196
'Cause if you do,
let's get this out.
1021
01:07:22,330 --> 01:07:24,503
Seriously. Is there like...
I mean, have I like, uh,
1022
01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:27,715
stepped over some line in the
sands of coolness with you?
1023
01:07:27,877 --> 01:07:31,632
Excuse me, if somebody doesn't
know the secret handshake.
1024
01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:37,396
There's no secret handshake. There's an
IQ prerequisite, but no secret handshake.
1025
01:07:39,305 --> 01:07:41,546
- I... This is... You, no...
- Come on. This is really...
1026
01:07:41,641 --> 01:07:45,020
You've got this whole thing
with the world, don't you?
1027
01:07:45,186 --> 01:07:47,530
- That's great, that's really wonderful.
- This is really stupid.
1028
01:07:47,689 --> 01:07:50,192
But guess what? I'm a human being.
We're human beings, people.
1029
01:07:50,275 --> 01:07:52,777
You know? We're not like,
uh, intelligence...
1030
01:07:52,885 --> 01:07:56,039
- uh, quotations, or whatever.
- Just ignore him.
1031
01:07:56,072 --> 01:07:57,324
- No!
- Done.
1032
01:08:01,119 --> 01:08:03,417
Come on, let's go.
You don't need this.
1033
01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:04,918
You don't know what she needs.
1034
01:08:07,292 --> 01:08:09,841
I think I know what she needs
in a way that you never will.
1035
01:08:15,341 --> 01:08:16,684
Let's go.
1036
01:08:23,349 --> 01:08:25,693
Baby, tell me that
my love ain't good
1037
01:08:25,810 --> 01:08:27,812
I don't treat you right
1038
01:08:27,979 --> 01:08:32,906
- I don't do you like I should
- Listen, this guy back here, okay?
1039
01:08:33,151 --> 01:08:35,449
- Hi. Hi.
- Hi.
1040
01:08:36,321 --> 01:08:39,040
- So, ya ready?
- Um, what's it like?
1041
01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:41,122
It's great. It's great.
1042
01:08:41,284 --> 01:08:45,960
I haven't actually seen it yet, but
we had our best guys workin' on it.
1043
01:08:46,289 --> 01:08:48,633
We just put some titles on,
shaped it a little bit.
1044
01:08:48,708 --> 01:08:51,302
- It's gonna be great.
- Okay.
1045
01:08:51,544 --> 01:08:53,717
- Okay?
- Okay. Bye.
1046
01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:58,931
Okay, everybody.
It's a special night.
1047
01:08:59,052 --> 01:09:02,427
'Cause, as you know, we're entering
a new phase here at the channel:
1048
01:09:02,453 --> 01:09:04,315
real programming.
1049
01:09:04,341 --> 01:09:08,045
And our first step is this
remarkable piece by Lelaina.
1050
01:09:12,649 --> 01:09:15,949
So hang on, 'cause this is gonna
change the face of In Your Face.
1051
01:09:45,181 --> 01:09:46,603
What's this?
1052
01:09:46,766 --> 01:09:49,110
- Uh, it's transitional stuff.
- Ahh.
1053
01:09:50,520 --> 01:09:54,320
La la la
La la la
1054
01:09:55,274 --> 01:10:01,281
The story of my life
1055
01:10:01,531 --> 01:10:04,205
- We're finished!
- School's out
1056
01:10:04,617 --> 01:10:06,715
Forever
1057
01:10:06,786 --> 01:10:09,881
I am not under any orders to
make the world a better place.
1058
01:10:09,997 --> 01:10:12,591
And you wonder why we
never got involved.
1059
01:10:12,792 --> 01:10:14,840
To pieces
1060
01:10:15,461 --> 01:10:17,634
Love can make you weep
1061
01:10:17,797 --> 01:10:20,141
I don't want to get married,
because I see how my parents are.
1062
01:10:20,216 --> 01:10:22,457
- My parents got divorced...
- My parents got divorced...
1063
01:10:22,635 --> 01:10:24,262
- ...when I was 14.
- ...when I was five years old.
1064
01:10:24,387 --> 01:10:27,015
My mother actually goes to the
bathroom with the door open.
1065
01:10:33,354 --> 01:10:37,124
- I swore I'd never get married.
- I want passion.
1066
01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:39,403
Let's talk about sex, baby
1067
01:10:40,153 --> 01:10:42,622
It turns ya on.
1068
01:10:43,156 --> 01:10:46,366
Would you two just do it
and get it over with?
1069
01:10:46,892 --> 01:10:48,633
Oh, my God.
1070
01:10:48,828 --> 01:10:51,297
But the question remains,
1071
01:10:52,415 --> 01:10:55,339
how can we repair all the
damage we inherited?
1072
01:10:55,460 --> 01:10:57,678
I was told there'd be
no math on this exam.
1073
01:10:57,704 --> 01:10:59,115
Can I change my answer?
1074
01:10:59,172 --> 01:11:03,177
- The answer is simple.
- We're on the road to nowhere
1075
01:11:03,259 --> 01:11:04,602
Jesus.
1076
01:11:04,677 --> 01:11:06,850
The answer is...
The-The-The-The answer is...
1077
01:11:06,929 --> 01:11:09,057
- Pizza!
- Pizza.
1078
01:11:09,223 --> 01:11:10,440
Pizza.
1079
01:11:10,767 --> 01:11:15,648
We're on the ride to nowhere
Come take that ride
1080
01:11:17,732 --> 01:11:21,487
Feeling okay this morning
1081
01:11:21,652 --> 01:11:25,873
- I... It's, uh...
- It's, yeah, right.
1082
01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:32,335
We're on the road to paradise
Here we go
1083
01:11:32,497 --> 01:11:34,215
- Lelaina.
- Here we go
1084
01:11:42,799 --> 01:11:45,598
Lelaina, look, I'm sorry,
all right? I didn't know.
1085
01:11:45,676 --> 01:11:47,387
That is not my work.
That's not what I did.
1086
01:11:47,413 --> 01:11:49,581
- That's not what I want. Nothing!
- I know!
1087
01:11:49,680 --> 01:11:53,560
- I can't believe I trusted you!
- I had no idea! I didn't see it!
1088
01:11:54,060 --> 01:11:56,904
I guess it was a little slow
and they cut it up a little...
1089
01:11:57,063 --> 01:12:00,693
They cut up everything
that meant anything to me!
1090
01:12:00,983 --> 01:12:03,379
I don't even think you
realize what you've done.
1091
01:12:03,405 --> 01:12:06,364
- You don't get it. You just don't get it.
- What? I do get it!
1092
01:12:06,948 --> 01:12:10,669
You have this great piece of work, and
we have this audience, these kids.
1093
01:12:10,743 --> 01:12:13,917
It's like trying to feed them meat
loaf and they don't want to eat it.
1094
01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:15,125
- So you gotta give them...
- Meat loaf?
1095
01:12:15,151 --> 01:12:17,779
"Here comes the plane! It's coming
up the hangar. Open up the hangar!"
1096
01:12:17,816 --> 01:12:20,862
- But it's still meat loaf.
- It was never meat loaf!
1097
01:12:20,920 --> 01:12:24,720
That's a bad... I'm sorry. They
were just trying to market it.
1098
01:12:24,799 --> 01:12:27,743
I wish I could be perfect, okay?
I wish I could be like Troy,
1099
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:30,013
riding on his melted cheese
sandwich and everything...
1100
01:12:30,039 --> 01:12:31,710
Don't you dare bring
Troy into this.
1101
01:12:31,931 --> 01:12:36,277
I wish I could live off of creeds
and mottos and all that shit.
1102
01:12:36,477 --> 01:12:40,232
But I'm in the real world
and I have ideals also.
1103
01:12:41,023 --> 01:12:43,117
They're that I...
1104
01:12:43,192 --> 01:12:47,117
I care about you and
I want to make you happy...
1105
01:12:50,491 --> 01:12:52,084
I just... Look.
1106
01:12:55,079 --> 01:12:58,379
I... I'll make them take
the pizza thing out, okay?
1107
01:13:02,795 --> 01:13:05,514
I'm just a bill
1108
01:13:05,590 --> 01:13:08,309
Yes, I'm only a bill
1109
01:13:09,427 --> 01:13:13,978
And I'm sittin' here
on Capitol Hill
1110
01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:19,525
Well, it's a long,
long journey to...
1111
01:13:26,986 --> 01:13:29,330
How'd the big premiere turn out?
1112
01:13:31,824 --> 01:13:32,950
Fine.
1113
01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:43,006
They're just videotapes, right?
1114
01:13:45,171 --> 01:13:46,514
Who cares?
1115
01:13:50,134 --> 01:13:54,514
It's... I worked so hard
on them, you know?
1116
01:13:57,183 --> 01:13:59,277
It's just, I worked so hard.
1117
01:14:01,354 --> 01:14:04,608
- Ah, forget it. I just sound pathetic.
- No, you don't.
1118
01:14:05,191 --> 01:14:07,489
You don't sound pathetic.
1119
01:14:08,277 --> 01:14:12,282
I know it sounds stupid, but it
really meant something to me.
1120
01:14:14,367 --> 01:14:20,500
I know it wasn't gonna end world
hunger or save the planet,
1121
01:14:20,581 --> 01:14:23,676
but it just meant something to me.
1122
01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:28,848
I just don't
1123
01:14:31,634 --> 01:14:34,854
understand why things just
can't go back to normal
1124
01:14:34,929 --> 01:14:39,605
at the end of the half hour, like
on The Brady Bunch, or something.
1125
01:14:42,186 --> 01:14:44,689
Well, 'cause Mr. Brady
died of AIDS.
1126
01:14:48,818 --> 01:14:51,162
Things don't work out like that.
1127
01:14:53,614 --> 01:14:57,289
I was really gonna be
something by the age of 23.
1128
01:14:59,870 --> 01:15:04,922
Honey, all you have to be by
the age of 23 is yourself.
1129
01:15:09,547 --> 01:15:11,925
I don't know who that is anymore.
1130
01:15:13,384 --> 01:15:14,761
Well, I do.
1131
01:15:16,595 --> 01:15:19,724
And we all love her. I love her.
1132
01:15:21,183 --> 01:15:22,309
Uh...
1133
01:15:24,770 --> 01:15:27,694
She breaks my heart again
and again, but, uh,
1134
01:15:29,984 --> 01:15:31,361
I love her.
1135
01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:35,425
I've wanted you like this
for all these years.
1136
01:16:37,176 --> 01:16:38,598
So have I.
1137
01:17:18,634 --> 01:17:20,557
- Hey.
- Hi.
1138
01:17:21,262 --> 01:17:24,607
- Where are you going?
- I have rehearsal.
1139
01:17:26,809 --> 01:17:29,938
At 8:24 in the morning?
1140
01:17:37,069 --> 01:17:38,867
- So that's it?
- No.
1141
01:17:39,905 --> 01:17:42,408
No, that's not it.
I just... I, uh...
1142
01:17:42,491 --> 01:17:43,993
I have to go.
1143
01:18:00,634 --> 01:18:05,105
Got a pothead mama
Got a cokehead dad
1144
01:18:08,767 --> 01:18:13,614
I'm the ultramodern version
The American man
1145
01:18:17,151 --> 01:18:21,622
I don't feel good
But I don't feel bad
1146
01:18:23,073 --> 01:18:26,043
'Cause me, you see
I'm nothin'
1147
01:18:32,416 --> 01:18:36,262
I ain't left, I ain't right
People say I'm wrong
1148
01:18:36,420 --> 01:18:39,890
Before I was born
Oh, I was all gone
1149
01:18:40,466 --> 01:18:45,814
Don't even make sense
that I wrote this song
1150
01:18:45,888 --> 01:18:47,606
Tell me it's not true.
1151
01:18:47,973 --> 01:18:50,897
'Cause me, you see
I'm nothin'
1152
01:18:53,145 --> 01:18:54,647
I'm nothin'
1153
01:18:57,149 --> 01:18:59,072
Nothin'
1154
01:19:00,236 --> 01:19:01,658
That's me
1155
01:19:04,490 --> 01:19:05,912
I'm nothin'
1156
01:19:12,665 --> 01:19:14,417
Laney,
1157
01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:17,845
sex is the quickest way
to ruin a friendship.
1158
01:19:23,425 --> 01:19:27,851
Thank you. We'll be right back with
a new American cheese snack idea.
1159
01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:31,312
Hey, Troy. You got a phone call.
1160
01:19:35,145 --> 01:19:37,022
Lelaina! Hi.
1161
01:19:37,189 --> 01:19:41,319
Hi. Don't say anything.
I screwed up, I know.
1162
01:19:41,485 --> 01:19:46,632
I should've protected you and your work
and I didn't. I'm so sorry that I didn't.
1163
01:19:47,032 --> 01:19:48,625
I wanna make this up to you.
1164
01:19:49,201 --> 01:19:52,330
You mean so much to me,
Lelaina, and I just...
1165
01:19:52,913 --> 01:19:54,460
Look, two tickets,
all right? New York.
1166
01:19:54,540 --> 01:19:57,919
We go and we give them a presentation
of the show the way you want it done.
1167
01:19:58,043 --> 01:19:59,466
Michael, I don't...
1168
01:19:59,492 --> 01:20:01,322
I know, I know. But
this time's different.
1169
01:20:01,380 --> 01:20:05,760
Who's the boss? Huh? Tony Danza?
I don't think so. It's you.
1170
01:20:05,843 --> 01:20:08,642
It's your show. And I just...
1171
01:20:10,055 --> 01:20:14,686
I just feel like maybe
I deserve another shot here.
1172
01:20:19,773 --> 01:20:21,901
- Well, hi, Lelaina.
- Hi.
1173
01:20:23,068 --> 01:20:25,617
What, is there a frog in your throat,
or are you just glad to see me?
1174
01:20:25,696 --> 01:20:29,166
Hi, Mike. Thanks for comin' down.
No hard feelings.
1175
01:20:37,082 --> 01:20:39,676
Lelaina, you're looking
a little peaked.
1176
01:20:40,252 --> 01:20:42,550
- Yeah. Are you okay?
- She's fine.
1177
01:20:42,629 --> 01:20:44,848
She's just had too many
Diet Cokes today.
1178
01:20:44,923 --> 01:20:47,346
Yeah, this girl is
cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
1179
01:20:47,426 --> 01:20:48,518
Heh!
1180
01:20:51,096 --> 01:20:53,474
So are you gonna tell him or am I?
1181
01:21:04,401 --> 01:21:07,951
Could you excuse me?
Could I talk to you?
1182
01:21:14,244 --> 01:21:15,291
Hi.
1183
01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:23,304
You wanna tell me what the hell he's
doin' here? I wanted to talk to you.
1184
01:21:24,588 --> 01:21:27,011
What the hell do you care? You
totally bailed on me this morning.
1185
01:21:27,091 --> 01:21:31,141
I panicked. It happens. I thought we
could, uh, work it out, you know?
1186
01:21:31,387 --> 01:21:34,311
I don't know if now's
the right time for us.
1187
01:21:35,682 --> 01:21:39,983
I meant everything that I said to you
last night. Don't look at me like that.
1188
01:21:40,396 --> 01:21:42,569
Don't look at me like that.
That's not what I'm saying.
1189
01:21:43,816 --> 01:21:46,410
I'm not saying I... Look.
1190
01:21:47,069 --> 01:21:49,872
You are the only woman that
I could ever commit myself to.
1191
01:21:49,898 --> 01:21:52,059
So what? Do I get a medal?
1192
01:21:52,085 --> 01:21:55,611
I win the big commitment
cook-off and you just run away?
1193
01:21:55,661 --> 01:21:57,880
I knew this was gonna happen!
1194
01:21:58,038 --> 01:22:00,461
I don't... I don't wanna lose you.
1195
01:22:00,666 --> 01:22:03,886
I've never been in an
experience like this before.
1196
01:22:05,546 --> 01:22:08,800
I've never had sex with
somebody that I loved before.
1197
01:22:09,007 --> 01:22:13,262
God! Oh, well,
congratulations, Troy Dyer.
1198
01:22:13,345 --> 01:22:17,395
Welcome to the world of the emotionally
mature. It's a nice place to visit.
1199
01:22:17,808 --> 01:22:20,127
Hey, you may run into
Michael. He lives here.
1200
01:22:20,153 --> 01:22:24,273
Yeah, right, Michael. He lets you
navigate that entire relationship.
1201
01:22:24,356 --> 01:22:26,450
Sorry, Lelaina, but you
can't navigate me.
1202
01:22:26,608 --> 01:22:31,830
I might do mean things, hurt you, run
away, and you might hate me forever.
1203
01:22:31,905 --> 01:22:36,832
I know that scares the shit out of you,
because I'm the only real thing you have.
1204
01:22:37,703 --> 01:22:40,832
Oh, yeah? Well,
that ain't real much.
1205
01:22:42,458 --> 01:22:44,426
One, two, three, four
1206
01:22:45,210 --> 01:22:47,008
Hey, Troy, man, you're on.
1207
01:22:47,171 --> 01:22:49,014
No bed of roses
1208
01:22:49,173 --> 01:22:51,847
No bed of roses
1209
01:22:52,843 --> 01:22:56,222
No bed of roses
1210
01:22:56,722 --> 01:22:58,044
Michael, I'm sorry.
1211
01:22:58,070 --> 01:23:00,717
No, listen, I'm sorry.
That's what this is all about.
1212
01:23:01,101 --> 01:23:02,819
This one's for you, Laney.
1213
01:23:17,075 --> 01:23:19,328
Why can't I get just one kiss
1214
01:23:19,411 --> 01:23:21,209
Why can't I get just one kiss
1215
01:23:21,371 --> 01:23:23,248
Believe, some things
that I wouldn't miss
1216
01:23:23,332 --> 01:23:25,835
But I look at your pants
and I need a kiss
1217
01:23:26,168 --> 01:23:28,136
Why can't I get just one screw
1218
01:23:28,212 --> 01:23:30,431
Why can't I get just one screw
1219
01:23:30,506 --> 01:23:32,554
Believe me I'd know what to do
1220
01:23:32,633 --> 01:23:34,681
But somethin' won't let
me make love to you
1221
01:23:34,760 --> 01:23:36,933
Why can't I get just one, huh
1222
01:23:37,012 --> 01:23:39,435
Why can't I get just one, huh
1223
01:23:54,071 --> 01:23:55,869
Oh, nice job. Very well done.
1224
01:23:55,948 --> 01:23:58,451
Yeah, I don't want
to hear it from you.
1225
01:23:58,825 --> 01:24:01,704
Yeah, well, I forgot. I'm not
qualified to talk to you.
1226
01:24:01,787 --> 01:24:04,040
I'm sorry I can't be Mister,
uh, "Hey, look at me",
1227
01:24:04,122 --> 01:24:06,466
"I'm Buddha on the mountaintop."
1228
01:24:06,708 --> 01:24:08,551
You know what you remind me of?
1229
01:24:08,627 --> 01:24:12,427
You're like that guy with
the hat and the bells
1230
01:24:12,548 --> 01:24:15,051
- and the little, you know...
- The court jester.
1231
01:24:15,133 --> 01:24:16,100
Yeah, right.
1232
01:24:16,176 --> 01:24:18,554
Where everything's so easy to
laugh at from a safe distance
1233
01:24:18,637 --> 01:24:20,685
back in Clever-Cleverland.
1234
01:24:21,098 --> 01:24:22,941
You know what happens to him?
1235
01:24:23,100 --> 01:24:28,322
They find his skull in a grave and they
go, "Oh, I knew him and he was funny."
1236
01:24:28,981 --> 01:24:32,451
And the guy, the court
jester, dies all by himself.
1237
01:24:34,903 --> 01:24:37,827
Where'd you hear that?
A Renaissance Festival?
1238
01:24:42,077 --> 01:24:44,671
Besides, everyone
dies all by himself.
1239
01:24:53,005 --> 01:24:55,099
If you really believe that,
1240
01:24:56,592 --> 01:24:58,720
who you lookin' for out here?
1241
01:25:18,947 --> 01:25:22,747
You say you want
1242
01:25:24,786 --> 01:25:27,960
Diamonds and a ring of gold
1243
01:25:29,416 --> 01:25:33,262
You say you want
1244
01:25:35,005 --> 01:25:38,555
Your story to remain untold
1245
01:25:39,509 --> 01:25:43,764
But all the promises we make
1246
01:25:44,640 --> 01:25:48,770
From the cradle to the grave
1247
01:25:50,062 --> 01:25:56,240
When all I want is you
1248
01:26:05,494 --> 01:26:10,091
You say you'll give me
1249
01:26:11,083 --> 01:26:14,929
A highway with no one on it
1250
01:26:16,254 --> 01:26:20,100
Treasure just to look upon it
1251
01:26:20,926 --> 01:26:24,772
All the riches in the night
1252
01:26:26,181 --> 01:26:30,607
You say you'll give me
1253
01:26:31,978 --> 01:26:36,074
Eyes on a moon of blindness
1254
01:26:36,775 --> 01:26:41,121
A river in a time of dryness
1255
01:26:42,114 --> 01:26:45,789
A harbor in the tempest
1256
01:26:46,535 --> 01:26:51,257
But all the promises we make
1257
01:26:51,707 --> 01:26:55,712
From the cradle to the grave
1258
01:26:56,795 --> 01:27:03,223
When all I want is you
1259
01:27:31,163 --> 01:27:32,380
Hello?
1260
01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:37,173
- Hello?
- You-ou
1261
01:27:37,335 --> 01:27:42,182
All I want is you-ou
1262
01:27:42,340 --> 01:27:47,312
All I want is you-ou
1263
01:27:47,554 --> 01:27:52,651
All I want is you-ou
1264
01:28:16,291 --> 01:28:18,614
- Hey, Laney. This is Lance.
- Hi.
1265
01:28:18,676 --> 01:28:23,282
Hi. Um, I just need
to know if he's okay.
1266
01:28:26,343 --> 01:28:31,190
Okay. All I know is he went
back to Chicago alone.
1267
01:28:34,726 --> 01:28:37,275
I'm not supposed to
know that, am I?
1268
01:29:02,462 --> 01:29:03,588
Shit.
1269
01:29:33,618 --> 01:29:34,665
Hi.
1270
01:29:36,204 --> 01:29:40,004
I was wondering if I could talk
to you a minute before you go.
1271
01:29:44,754 --> 01:29:48,804
See, the thing is that, uh...
1272
01:29:52,679 --> 01:29:56,309
Well... Uh, my dad died.
1273
01:29:56,516 --> 01:30:00,817
- Oh, God, Troy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
- No, it's... No, it...
1274
01:30:02,314 --> 01:30:04,487
What happened was that, um,
1275
01:30:05,984 --> 01:30:10,205
I kind of got this arcane
glimpse at the universe.
1276
01:30:11,656 --> 01:30:15,752
And the best thing I can
say about that is, uh...
1277
01:30:20,874 --> 01:30:23,593
I don't know.
1278
01:30:28,965 --> 01:30:33,061
I have this planet of regret
1279
01:30:33,845 --> 01:30:35,847
sitting on my shoulders.
1280
01:30:37,432 --> 01:30:40,811
You have no idea how much
I wish that I could go back
1281
01:30:41,394 --> 01:30:44,898
to that morning after we made love
1282
01:30:45,857 --> 01:30:47,985
and do everything different.
1283
01:30:49,569 --> 01:30:51,822
But I know that I can't, so...
1284
01:30:54,115 --> 01:30:57,619
I thought that I would come
here and tell you somethin'.
1285
01:30:59,204 --> 01:31:03,713
And what I wanted to tell you...
was that I love you.
1286
01:31:04,084 --> 01:31:07,634
And, uh, I just wanted to make
sure that that was clear,
1287
01:31:07,712 --> 01:31:10,215
so that there wasn't any confusion.
1288
01:31:16,554 --> 01:31:17,555
Um,
1289
01:31:19,265 --> 01:31:20,858
so, anyway, uh,
1290
01:31:23,603 --> 01:31:25,401
where are you going?
1291
01:31:25,730 --> 01:31:27,698
I was gonna look for you.
1292
01:31:30,151 --> 01:31:31,403
What for?
1293
01:31:35,156 --> 01:31:39,411
Just wanted to see
if you were okay.
1294
01:31:46,751 --> 01:31:48,753
Well, I had a shitty week.
1295
01:32:28,460 --> 01:32:31,464
Well, Frog went a-courtin'
and he did ride
1296
01:32:31,588 --> 01:32:35,434
With a sword and a
pistol by his side
1297
01:32:35,633 --> 01:32:39,638
Uh-huh
1298
01:32:42,057 --> 01:32:45,061
Well, he rode right up
to Miss Mousey's door
1299
01:32:45,143 --> 01:32:47,487
Uh-huh
1300
01:32:48,146 --> 01:32:50,569
At the beep, please leave
your name, number,
1301
01:32:50,648 --> 01:32:53,500
and a brief justification for
the ontological necessity
1302
01:32:53,526 --> 01:32:56,363
of modern man's existential
dilemma. We'll get back to you.
1303
01:32:56,446 --> 01:32:59,416
Lelaina, this is your dad.
1304
01:32:59,491 --> 01:33:02,916
Give me a call when you get this.
I need you to explain something.
1305
01:33:02,994 --> 01:33:05,292
I just got a $900
bill on my gas card.
1306
01:33:08,666 --> 01:33:14,139
If we should fall, love will
catch us every time
1307
01:33:14,756 --> 01:33:18,101
I hear you call
I will run
1308
01:33:20,178 --> 01:33:25,480
And if the magic of the
adventure overcomes
1309
01:33:25,642 --> 01:33:29,522
We won't cry,
because it could be fun
1310
01:33:29,687 --> 01:33:32,065
What I'm tryin' to do is
constantly find those people,
1311
01:33:32,190 --> 01:33:34,488
find out what makes them
the best, and bring that...
1312
01:33:34,859 --> 01:33:37,578
I've been getting a razzing for
being bald and I'm a young man.
1313
01:33:37,695 --> 01:33:40,448
No more dates without being
called old man, but...
1314
01:33:44,828 --> 01:33:47,047
Roy, why are you doing this to me?
1315
01:33:47,247 --> 01:33:48,999
I know we can be happy together.
1316
01:33:49,541 --> 01:33:50,963
You'll chill in time.
1317
01:33:51,042 --> 01:33:54,546
Right now I need someone who understands
what my music and the band mean to me.
1318
01:33:54,629 --> 01:33:56,927
But it's just music, Roy.
1319
01:33:57,048 --> 01:34:00,348
I'm a human being
with deep feelings
1320
01:34:01,052 --> 01:34:05,023
- who feels things deeply.
- Music is feeling, babe.
1321
01:34:05,431 --> 01:34:09,440
The band may be a small dream, but it's
the only one I've got. I'm Audi 5000.
1322
01:34:09,644 --> 01:34:12,422
Till I'm going, going, gone
1323
01:34:12,448 --> 01:34:14,566
Please, don't let him
get drunk and drive.
1324
01:34:14,567 --> 01:34:17,285
Won't be very long
1325
01:34:17,443 --> 01:34:21,013
Till I'm going, going, gone
1326
01:34:34,127 --> 01:34:35,549
You say
1327
01:34:37,422 --> 01:34:40,096
I only hear what I want to
1328
01:34:45,972 --> 01:34:47,770
You say
1329
01:34:49,309 --> 01:34:51,812
I talk so all the time
1330
01:34:52,395 --> 01:34:53,817
So
1331
01:34:57,609 --> 01:35:00,408
And I thought what
I felt was simple
1332
01:35:00,653 --> 01:35:03,281
And I thought that I don't belong
1333
01:35:03,740 --> 01:35:06,459
And now that I am leaving
1334
01:35:06,618 --> 01:35:08,746
Now I know that
I did something wrong
1335
01:35:08,912 --> 01:35:11,131
'Cause I missed you
1336
01:35:12,707 --> 01:35:14,801
Yeah, yeah
1337
01:35:15,126 --> 01:35:16,799
I missed you
1338
01:35:22,008 --> 01:35:23,476
And you say
1339
01:35:25,303 --> 01:35:28,432
I only hear what I want to
I don't listen hard
1340
01:35:28,765 --> 01:35:31,359
Don't pay attention to the
distance that you're running
1341
01:35:31,517 --> 01:35:35,988
To anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care
1342
01:35:36,147 --> 01:35:40,323
I'm only hearin' negative
No, no, no, no
1343
01:35:41,653 --> 01:35:45,328
So I turn the radio on
I turn the radio up
1344
01:35:45,657 --> 01:35:48,080
And this woman was singin' my song
1345
01:35:48,159 --> 01:35:51,003
Lovers in love and
the others run away
1346
01:35:51,162 --> 01:35:54,166
Lover is crying 'cause
the other won't stay
1347
01:35:54,249 --> 01:35:56,502
Some of us hover while
we weep for the other
1348
01:35:56,584 --> 01:35:58,757
Who was dyin' since the
day they were born
1349
01:35:59,003 --> 01:36:02,598
Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwin'
1350
01:36:02,674 --> 01:36:04,676
But I'm thrown
1351
01:36:05,843 --> 01:36:08,471
And I thought I'd live forever
But now I'm not so sure
1352
01:36:08,554 --> 01:36:10,397
You try to tell me that I'm clever
1353
01:36:10,515 --> 01:36:15,487
That won't take me anyhow
or anywhere with you
1354
01:36:18,356 --> 01:36:23,453
You said that I was naive and
I thought that I was strong
1355
01:36:23,528 --> 01:36:26,452
Oh, I thought
Hey, I can leave, I can leave
1356
01:36:26,531 --> 01:36:29,535
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong
1357
01:36:29,701 --> 01:36:31,999
'Cause I missed you
1358
01:36:33,204 --> 01:36:37,710
Yeah-ah, I miss you
1359
01:36:41,296 --> 01:36:44,345
He said you caught me 'cause you
want me and one day you'll let me go
1360
01:36:44,424 --> 01:36:47,303
You try to give away a keeper
or keep me 'cause you know
1361
01:36:47,385 --> 01:36:51,231
You're just so scared to lose
1362
01:36:52,890 --> 01:36:54,608
And you say
1363
01:36:57,895 --> 01:36:59,693
Stay
1364
01:37:06,362 --> 01:37:08,285
And you say
1365
01:37:09,615 --> 01:37:12,539
I only hear what I want to
1366
01:37:38,186 --> 01:37:41,110
Ooh, my little pretty one
My pretty one
1367
01:37:41,272 --> 01:37:44,401
When you gonna give
me some time, Sharona
1368
01:37:44,609 --> 01:37:47,579
Ooh, you make my motor run
My motor run
1369
01:37:47,820 --> 01:37:50,994
Gun it comin' off of
the line, Sharona
1370
01:37:51,115 --> 01:37:54,369
Never gonna stop, give it up
Such a dirty mind
1371
01:37:54,452 --> 01:37:57,626
I always get it up for the
touch of the younger kind
1372
01:37:57,747 --> 01:38:01,251
My, my, my-y-y
Whoo
1373
01:38:02,168 --> 01:38:04,387
M-M-M-My Sharona
1374
01:38:07,632 --> 01:38:10,806
Ooo-Ooo-Ooo
1375
01:38:10,885 --> 01:38:13,980
Ohh, my Sharona