1 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,441 Mr Bond? 2 00:00:19,277 --> 00:00:20,693 Yes? 3 00:00:20,777 --> 00:00:23,736 I'm Lieutenant Mathis of the Special Police. 4 00:00:27,744 --> 00:00:30,493 These are my credentials. 5 00:00:30,580 --> 00:00:32,620 They appear to be in order. 6 00:00:32,748 --> 00:00:34,956 Come with me. 7 00:03:57,022 --> 00:04:01,650 They used to say a good spy is a pure spy, inside and out. 8 00:04:04,988 --> 00:04:08,823 Roses, Tanagra figurines and Debussy. 9 00:04:10,619 --> 00:04:12,743 He plays Debussy every afternoon 10 00:04:12,830 --> 00:04:16,080 from sunset until it's too dark to read the music. 11 00:04:23,006 --> 00:04:26,673 Stands on his head a lot, eats royal jelly. 12 00:04:28,011 --> 00:04:31,345 Lets his intestines down and washes them by hand. 13 00:04:31,722 --> 00:04:34,972 Something he learned during his sojourn in Tibet. 14 00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:42,396 M, what gives? 15 00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:44,857 I forgot to mention lions. 16 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:48,902 - Lions and more lions. - We're surrounded by lions. 17 00:04:52,033 --> 00:04:55,451 I did not come here to be devoured by symbols of monarchy! 18 00:04:55,578 --> 00:04:57,619 I warn you, M, if this is a trap... 19 00:04:57,747 --> 00:05:00,997 Calm yourselves, gentlemen. It's no trap, I assure you. 20 00:05:01,124 --> 00:05:05,042 The lions are only curious. He has few visitors. 21 00:05:05,128 --> 00:05:07,502 That I can believe. 22 00:05:22,018 --> 00:05:24,809 A veritable Eden, is it not, gentlemen? 23 00:05:24,897 --> 00:05:27,688 Eden without an Eve is an absurdity. 24 00:05:27,775 --> 00:05:30,484 A good spy is a pure spy. 25 00:05:30,568 --> 00:05:33,194 Not good. Great. 26 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:36,197 The greatest spy in history, gentlemen. 27 00:05:36,282 --> 00:05:41,076 The true, one and only, original James Bond. 28 00:05:59,262 --> 00:06:02,347 - The gentlemen are here, Sir James. - Thank you. 29 00:06:13,150 --> 00:06:15,776 - My dear Bond. - My dear M. 30 00:06:17,237 --> 00:06:19,278 Ransome, CIA, Sir James. 31 00:06:19,406 --> 00:06:22,656 J-Junior cipher c-clerk in m-my day, weren't you, Ransome? 32 00:06:22,742 --> 00:06:28,997 Yes, sir. JCC, class G, SIC to SCCT. CIA, Washington DC. 33 00:06:30,165 --> 00:06:32,206 Smernov, KGB, Sir James. 34 00:06:32,334 --> 00:06:34,626 Ah, yes. L-Labour camp inspector. 35 00:06:34,753 --> 00:06:38,421 Ikon 988, GPU, Siberian sector. 36 00:06:38,549 --> 00:06:41,174 I remember your ch-chap Lenin very well. 37 00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:44,594 First-class organiser, second-class mind. 38 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,139 Le Grand, Sir James. Deuxi�me bureau. 39 00:06:47,265 --> 00:06:50,056 Promoted at last from the vice detail? 40 00:06:50,144 --> 00:06:53,060 How incredibly well you look, James. 41 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:56,480 Time, my dear M, does not exist within these walls. 42 00:06:57,065 --> 00:07:02,736 - They ain't for real. - Yes, a far cry from our embattled world. 43 00:07:02,821 --> 00:07:05,280 In my day spying was an alternative to war. 44 00:07:05,408 --> 00:07:08,826 The spy was a member of a select and immaculate priesthood, 45 00:07:08,953 --> 00:07:13,581 vocationally d-devoted, sublimely disinterested. 46 00:07:14,790 --> 00:07:17,749 Hardly a description of that sexual acrobat 47 00:07:17,835 --> 00:07:22,629 who leaves a t-trail of beautiful dead women like blown roses behind him. 48 00:07:23,215 --> 00:07:25,674 - You mean... - You know very well who I mean. 49 00:07:25,802 --> 00:07:28,761 That b-bounder to whom you gave my name and number. 50 00:07:28,845 --> 00:07:32,597 My dear James, when you left us we were a small service, 51 00:07:32,725 --> 00:07:35,475 under-financed, ludicrously ill-equipped. 52 00:07:35,561 --> 00:07:38,561 It was essential that your legend be maintained. 53 00:07:38,688 --> 00:07:42,982 Without a James Bond 007, no one would have respected us. 54 00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:45,191 Him and his wretched g-gadgets. 55 00:07:45,278 --> 00:07:47,653 We must make use of the weapons of our time. 56 00:07:47,781 --> 00:07:49,821 So I observe. 57 00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:55,160 You, Ransome, with your trick carnation that s-spits cyanide. 58 00:07:55,246 --> 00:07:57,287 You ought to be ashamed. 59 00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:00,374 The Russians started it. 60 00:08:00,501 --> 00:08:05,711 And you, Smernov, with an armoury concealed in your grotesque boots. 61 00:08:07,091 --> 00:08:09,465 Listen to them tinkle. 62 00:08:10,302 --> 00:08:15,263 And you, Le Grand, with a different deadly poison in each of your fly buttons. 63 00:08:17,599 --> 00:08:21,684 And you, M, with your flame-throwing fountain pens. 64 00:08:21,771 --> 00:08:24,938 Y-Y-You're joke-shop spies, gentlemen. 65 00:08:25,065 --> 00:08:27,856 We are in the last half of the 20th century, Sir James. 66 00:08:27,944 --> 00:08:32,070 - Even you have to face it. - Why should l, when I can face that? 67 00:08:33,365 --> 00:08:38,410 Look at my garden. Out there, there is a black rose. 68 00:08:38,829 --> 00:08:41,578 Not dark red, but black. 69 00:08:41,915 --> 00:08:44,124 As a raven's wing at midnight. 70 00:08:47,877 --> 00:08:52,922 I would not exchange one single petal for anything your world has to offer, 71 00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:56,302 including an Aston M-Martin with lethal accessories. 72 00:08:56,428 --> 00:09:00,345 You have only contempt for the proletariat, Sir James. This we know. 73 00:09:00,474 --> 00:09:04,058 If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd lost your faith in democracy. 74 00:09:04,184 --> 00:09:07,351 You can break the glass, but you can't hold back the weather. 75 00:09:07,479 --> 00:09:13,150 Things are bad. I've lost 11 agents in the last fortnight - seven killed, four missing. 76 00:09:13,278 --> 00:09:17,655 - Is my namesake among them? - He may well be tomorrow. 77 00:09:17,741 --> 00:09:20,616 Eight of ours were given the works - two in the Pentagon. 78 00:09:20,701 --> 00:09:23,368 - 16. - KGB is depleted. 79 00:09:23,453 --> 00:09:25,577 I cannot disclose exact figures. 80 00:09:25,663 --> 00:09:28,998 The enemy has penetrated our most secret inner circles. 81 00:09:29,126 --> 00:09:31,418 - He reads our very mind. - For all we know, 82 00:09:31,545 --> 00:09:33,669 he has his eye on us now. 83 00:09:33,797 --> 00:09:36,882 Are you quite sure he is not one or m-more of you? 84 00:09:37,008 --> 00:09:39,467 - No, no. - Absolutely sure. 85 00:09:39,594 --> 00:09:43,971 Until this danger is past, we must stand united in the defence of all spies, 86 00:09:44,097 --> 00:09:47,097 great or small, regardless of nationality. 87 00:09:47,225 --> 00:09:51,853 Calamity makes strange b-bedfellows, but why, in the strength of your unity, 88 00:09:51,979 --> 00:09:54,688 do you disturb a gentleman in his retirement? 89 00:09:54,775 --> 00:09:57,691 We need your inspirational leadership. 90 00:09:57,777 --> 00:10:01,694 Please give us the benefit of your incomparable powers of deduction. 91 00:10:01,781 --> 00:10:06,241 - For all freedom-loving peoples. - For the glorious socialist revolution. 92 00:10:06,369 --> 00:10:08,577 If I may interrupt this flow of clich�s, 93 00:10:08,703 --> 00:10:12,205 it is now that time of day I have set apart for Debussy. 94 00:10:28,014 --> 00:10:31,516 Can this be the man who won a Victoria Cross at Mafeking? 95 00:10:31,643 --> 00:10:34,518 The hero of the Ashanti Uprising? 96 00:10:34,604 --> 00:10:38,272 What genius to be wasted in the service of a crumbling empire. 97 00:10:38,358 --> 00:10:42,025 Why, at the height of his powers, did Bond decide to retire? 98 00:10:46,155 --> 00:10:48,530 Mata Hari, my dear friend. 99 00:10:48,658 --> 00:10:52,159 - What's the connection? - The woman in his life. 100 00:10:52,245 --> 00:10:54,995 - I don't get it. - It was his painful duty 101 00:10:55,081 --> 00:10:58,416 to lure her across the Spanish frontier into France, 102 00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:02,085 where we stood her in front of a firing squad. 103 00:11:02,213 --> 00:11:04,254 He really loved that woman. 104 00:11:10,553 --> 00:11:12,510 Well, James? 105 00:11:12,598 --> 00:11:16,265 I'm sorry, old man, but what you ask is quite impossible. 106 00:11:17,393 --> 00:11:20,060 Perhaps this will change your decision. 107 00:11:25,276 --> 00:11:30,237 My record speaks my loyalty. But no, not even for her, McTarry. 108 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,039 Sorry, James. 109 00:11:41,249 --> 00:11:44,041 There's McTarry's signal. Stand by. 110 00:11:44,127 --> 00:11:45,376 - Zero. - On. 111 00:11:45,461 --> 00:11:47,669 - Fire! - Fire! 112 00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:56,762 Up 200! 113 00:12:03,061 --> 00:12:05,185 - Authority to Control. - Go ahead. 114 00:12:05,606 --> 00:12:07,980 Proceed with Smersh Plan B. 115 00:12:08,107 --> 00:12:13,778 Sir James Bond is back, with his morals, his vows, and his celibate image. 116 00:12:14,198 --> 00:12:16,322 We must destroy that image. 117 00:12:22,497 --> 00:12:23,955 Riverbank to Control. 118 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,375 - Go ahead. - The target has just entered Scotland. 119 00:12:37,885 --> 00:12:41,886 - M's castle to Control. - M's name is McTarry. Use it. 120 00:12:41,974 --> 00:12:43,848 Plan B in operation. 121 00:12:43,976 --> 00:12:48,270 McTarry Castle completely occupied, with only one change. 122 00:12:48,354 --> 00:12:51,772 Agent Mimi is now M's widow. 123 00:12:51,857 --> 00:12:54,816 Agent Mimi impersonating Lady Fiona? 124 00:12:54,902 --> 00:12:57,444 Well, she has the best Scots accent. 125 00:12:58,072 --> 00:13:00,531 And that's all that's left of the McTarry. 126 00:13:00,866 --> 00:13:05,743 Your husband d-died as he lived, Lady Fiona. In the service of Her Majesty. 127 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:09,288 I thought it would be my p-painful duty to impart the news. 128 00:13:09,499 --> 00:13:12,834 How did you know your husband M - I'm sorry, McTarry - was dead? 129 00:13:12,919 --> 00:13:16,086 - We were told. - Might I ask who told you? 130 00:13:17,007 --> 00:13:19,756 - The Grey Piper. - The who? 131 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,509 Tell Sir James about the Grey Piper, lass. 132 00:13:23,596 --> 00:13:26,263 Whenever a McTarry dies, 133 00:13:26,683 --> 00:13:31,560 he comes down from the mountain, over the loch and through the heather, 134 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,520 playing the clan lament. 135 00:13:33,606 --> 00:13:37,357 We always put a tappit-hen of usquebaugh outside the castle door. 136 00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:40,317 - Tappit-hen? - A quart o' whisky. 137 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,777 - Is he a real p-piper? - We dinna ken. 138 00:13:42,904 --> 00:13:45,821 But it's been the same one for 600 years. 139 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:51,203 - Naught else remains? - Nothing to s-speak of, I'm afraid. 140 00:13:51,955 --> 00:13:56,165 It was found in a tree, 100 yards from where he stood. 141 00:13:56,626 --> 00:14:00,293 Took off, as it were, and flew like a b-bird. 142 00:14:00,838 --> 00:14:03,630 But whether it is an article of apparel 143 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:07,384 or an anatomical f-feature, that is the question. 144 00:14:07,469 --> 00:14:12,931 Should it be given Christian burial? Just how p-personal is a toupee? 145 00:14:13,141 --> 00:14:16,643 It can only be regarded as a "hairloom". 146 00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:21,188 Eliza, put it wi' all the other relics of McTarry glory. 147 00:14:22,775 --> 00:14:25,733 We all ken that our beloved McTarry of the Glen 148 00:14:25,820 --> 00:14:28,488 was a different man in Whitehall. 149 00:14:28,573 --> 00:14:31,573 But McTarry women never ask questions. 150 00:14:33,869 --> 00:14:37,371 According to clan tradition, when the laird dies 151 00:14:37,749 --> 00:14:43,586 a black he-goat must be ta'en alive off Ben Tarry by six barefoot virgins. 152 00:14:44,254 --> 00:14:46,712 I myself slaughter it. 153 00:14:46,839 --> 00:14:51,133 The daughters wrest the stomach out, and stuff it wi' entrails. 154 00:14:51,263 --> 00:14:53,303 Bright entrails. 155 00:14:53,430 --> 00:14:56,597 Sear it, boil it, and serve it up. 156 00:14:57,182 --> 00:14:58,889 And eat it? 157 00:14:59,018 --> 00:15:03,312 - Warm reekin'. - Sounds d-delicious. 158 00:15:03,731 --> 00:15:08,192 We start feastin' at midnight, washin' the haggis down wi' usquebaugh. 159 00:15:08,277 --> 00:15:13,070 One gies strength to the limbs, the other fire to the blood for dancin'. 160 00:15:13,197 --> 00:15:16,282 - Dancing? - The McTarry funeral fling. 161 00:15:17,493 --> 00:15:21,787 "Argar, argar garar goru argar" it goes. 162 00:15:22,331 --> 00:15:26,166 - Most m-moving. - Ah, we dance till we fall in our tracks. 163 00:15:26,252 --> 00:15:29,670 And after an hour's repose, the piper wakes us 164 00:15:29,797 --> 00:15:32,339 to the tune o' "Awa' to the Grouse" 165 00:15:32,425 --> 00:15:35,425 and awa' we go to the memorial grouse shoot. 166 00:15:35,845 --> 00:15:38,387 B-But surely the grouse are not in season? 167 00:15:38,598 --> 00:15:43,142 Whenever a McTarry dies, the grouse come into season. 168 00:15:50,108 --> 00:15:52,149 I'm Heather. 169 00:15:52,943 --> 00:15:56,361 I'm Meg. Your bath's ready, Sir James. 170 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,781 - Thank you. - At the end of the passage. 171 00:15:58,866 --> 00:16:03,659 - Very kind of you. - Let us help you out o' your duddies. 172 00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:07,580 - No, thank you. I can manage m-my... - We always helped Daddy. 173 00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:11,833 How many of you are there? D-Daughters, I mean. 174 00:16:11,961 --> 00:16:15,713 - 11 in all. - 11? M-My word. 175 00:16:16,883 --> 00:16:20,133 And how do the ages run? 176 00:16:20,261 --> 00:16:22,470 Who is the... How young is the youngest? 177 00:16:22,597 --> 00:16:24,889 - 16. - And the eldest? 178 00:16:24,974 --> 00:16:26,598 19. 179 00:16:26,684 --> 00:16:29,559 You mean there are only...? That's my loose kneecap. 180 00:16:29,645 --> 00:16:33,146 There are only three years between all 11 of you? 181 00:16:33,273 --> 00:16:35,482 Some of us are adopted daughters. 182 00:16:35,609 --> 00:16:38,359 I see. Steady. 183 00:16:38,445 --> 00:16:42,613 - Are there any m-men in the house? - Nane but the pipers. 184 00:16:43,116 --> 00:16:45,784 My daddy only liked the lassies. 185 00:16:45,869 --> 00:16:49,870 Your d-daddy really was a d-different man in Whitehall. 186 00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:39,292 I'm testing the temperature of the water 187 00:17:39,377 --> 00:17:41,418 as I always did for my daddy. 188 00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:45,171 He used to call me his little thermometer. 189 00:17:46,926 --> 00:17:49,050 Well? Get in. 190 00:17:50,053 --> 00:17:52,094 - Get in? - Get in! 191 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,942 You're sure I'm not c-crowding you? 192 00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:08,109 Get in. 193 00:18:11,949 --> 00:18:14,408 Do you like your back scrubbed? 194 00:18:14,492 --> 00:18:16,533 Thank you. 195 00:18:18,079 --> 00:18:21,915 - What is your n-name, my dear? - Buttercup. 196 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,084 - How old are you? - 17. 197 00:18:26,629 --> 00:18:29,629 - Do you go to school? - Daddy taught us. 198 00:18:30,883 --> 00:18:32,924 There. You're as sleek as a baby. 199 00:18:33,803 --> 00:18:35,844 Now, turn round. 200 00:18:52,279 --> 00:18:54,320 What form are you in? 201 00:18:54,447 --> 00:18:58,031 Can ye nae judge that for yourself, Sir James? 202 00:18:58,117 --> 00:19:00,660 - What is your favourite subject? - Anatomy. 203 00:19:00,745 --> 00:19:02,869 That's your mediastinum. 204 00:19:02,997 --> 00:19:06,082 That's your orbicularis oris. 205 00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:08,291 That's your Azygos vein. 206 00:19:08,419 --> 00:19:13,713 That's your articular cartilage, and those are your synovial membranes. 207 00:19:13,799 --> 00:19:17,049 - Right, right. - It's getting gey cold! 208 00:19:17,135 --> 00:19:19,761 - Quite. - My daddy liked it hotter. 209 00:19:19,971 --> 00:19:22,680 I am not your d-da... Quite. 210 00:19:47,247 --> 00:19:49,288 Thank you. 211 00:19:52,544 --> 00:19:55,294 - To the laird! - To the laird! 212 00:19:58,506 --> 00:20:04,760 To your right, Sir James - Lady Mary, daughter of Lord Douglas McTarry, 213 00:20:04,889 --> 00:20:08,724 raped by the Campbells in 1622. 214 00:20:09,184 --> 00:20:11,225 In retaliation of which, 215 00:20:11,353 --> 00:20:17,440 Lord Douglas sent his only son Hamish out to rape twa Campbell lassies. 216 00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:21,985 - At the same t-time? - Eldest first, of course. 217 00:20:22,113 --> 00:20:26,031 As prescribed by scripture. The youngest bore him triplets. 218 00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:32,413 Their union being thus bounteously blessed, 219 00:20:32,538 --> 00:20:34,997 a contract of marriage was entered into 220 00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:39,919 which brought the McTarrys Black Loch, Ben Torn, the Shags of Raugh, 221 00:20:40,046 --> 00:20:43,130 Glen Noch, and a good stretch of salmon water. 222 00:20:58,647 --> 00:21:00,687 All the best. 223 00:21:03,484 --> 00:21:05,524 I say, does she...? 224 00:21:39,352 --> 00:21:41,393 Good night, ladies. 225 00:22:40,618 --> 00:22:44,036 Sleep I've had nane for thinkin' on my dearie. 226 00:22:45,539 --> 00:22:49,833 All the long night I walk, grovellin' in grief. 227 00:22:50,294 --> 00:22:52,335 Comfort me, Jamie lad. 228 00:22:53,214 --> 00:22:56,298 Gie me your bosom to weep on. 229 00:22:56,382 --> 00:22:59,299 - Doudle me, Jamie. - Really, madam! 230 00:22:59,385 --> 00:23:05,556 I hereby claim my widow's due according to McTarry tradition. 231 00:23:05,642 --> 00:23:07,682 Let me be comforted. 232 00:23:08,978 --> 00:23:11,019 Doudle me! 233 00:23:11,146 --> 00:23:16,191 A quaint custom, but one more honoured in the breach than in the observance. 234 00:23:16,275 --> 00:23:19,025 Then you'll have to pay the piper! 235 00:23:19,696 --> 00:23:21,905 The p-piper? 236 00:23:22,032 --> 00:23:25,116 You heard me, you mean-mou'd, ill-willie cuif! 237 00:23:25,327 --> 00:23:27,786 You'll have to pay the piper! 238 00:23:41,758 --> 00:23:44,050 Robin! Jock! 239 00:23:44,637 --> 00:23:46,929 Sandy! 240 00:23:47,013 --> 00:23:51,265 You've been challenged to warsle with Sir James. 241 00:23:53,102 --> 00:23:55,142 He wants to warsle. 242 00:24:02,611 --> 00:24:06,989 I haven't warsled for years. I may be a little out of p-practice. 243 00:24:40,982 --> 00:24:43,441 Play ball! 244 00:27:21,882 --> 00:27:24,632 Ha! Superbe! 245 00:27:25,719 --> 00:27:27,843 Formidable! 246 00:27:30,431 --> 00:27:33,057 Splendide! Bravo! 247 00:27:38,105 --> 00:27:40,731 Magnifique. Mais... 248 00:27:46,738 --> 00:27:49,197 Surprising how quickly it all comes back. 249 00:27:49,282 --> 00:27:53,660 Ah, well. A little b-beauty sleep before the grouse shoot, perhaps? 250 00:28:08,925 --> 00:28:11,551 Beaters, follow Marie over to the butts. 251 00:28:13,429 --> 00:28:16,221 Eliza, stay here with me for the countdown. 252 00:28:38,287 --> 00:28:42,997 Oh, my love is like a red, red rose 253 00:28:44,251 --> 00:28:47,586 that's newly sprung in June. 254 00:29:46,602 --> 00:29:48,643 - Fire, Mission. - Roger. 255 00:29:48,770 --> 00:29:52,271 - Fuse alarm missiles. - Roger. 256 00:29:52,356 --> 00:29:54,396 - Supercharge. - Roger. 257 00:29:58,152 --> 00:29:59,943 Fire. 258 00:30:09,413 --> 00:30:11,454 The button! 259 00:30:13,834 --> 00:30:16,209 The button! 260 00:30:17,629 --> 00:30:20,088 The button! 261 00:30:24,301 --> 00:30:27,468 - Oh, beloved! - Good of you to join me. 262 00:30:27,596 --> 00:30:30,931 - The button! The button! - She's with him. 263 00:30:31,351 --> 00:30:33,560 Magnetic! Homing device! 264 00:30:33,686 --> 00:30:37,980 - Which button is it? Let me look! - There's a knife in my pocket. 265 00:30:39,358 --> 00:30:41,650 - See! - Take off my braces. 266 00:30:42,486 --> 00:30:44,527 My braces. 267 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:07,883 And now, madam, if you'd be kind enough to furnish a few answers. 268 00:31:07,969 --> 00:31:12,179 Our orders were to corrupt you, to befoul your image of yourself. 269 00:31:12,264 --> 00:31:14,556 Failing that, we were to kill you. 270 00:31:14,683 --> 00:31:18,101 - I see. - Look! They've found the button. 271 00:31:30,364 --> 00:31:33,782 - Who g-gave you these orders? - Authority. 272 00:31:33,911 --> 00:31:36,578 International Mothers' Help, East Berlin. 273 00:31:53,053 --> 00:31:55,093 Jolly good sport, what? 274 00:31:57,890 --> 00:31:59,931 You're wounded. 275 00:32:01,977 --> 00:32:04,018 'Tis but a thimbleful. 276 00:32:05,439 --> 00:32:07,480 But heart's blood. 277 00:32:08,984 --> 00:32:12,486 Farewell, Jamie. 278 00:32:13,780 --> 00:32:15,820 My dear. 279 00:32:17,074 --> 00:32:19,533 Again. Say it again. 280 00:32:20,496 --> 00:32:24,622 James Bond, my jo James. 281 00:32:25,918 --> 00:32:28,793 James Bond, my jo. 282 00:32:30,754 --> 00:32:32,795 My dear. 283 00:32:33,340 --> 00:32:35,381 One more request. 284 00:32:36,426 --> 00:32:38,467 The last. 285 00:32:42,683 --> 00:32:48,185 Think of me as the second woman in your life. 286 00:32:49,313 --> 00:32:52,648 The one after Mata Hari. 287 00:32:55,444 --> 00:32:58,361 Kiss me, Jamie. 288 00:32:58,448 --> 00:33:00,907 Kiss me goodbye. 289 00:33:07,955 --> 00:33:10,581 Madam! Are you quite sure you're dying? 290 00:33:12,251 --> 00:33:15,669 Not dying, but giving up my life. 291 00:33:16,589 --> 00:33:19,047 I'm going to another world. 292 00:33:20,551 --> 00:33:23,384 There's a convent over that hill. 293 00:33:41,653 --> 00:33:45,905 Bond leaving Scotland now. Instructions understood. 294 00:34:18,731 --> 00:34:20,855 Jag to Dairy. Contact in position. 295 00:34:20,941 --> 00:34:24,776 - Get ready to delivermilk. - Dairy to Jag. Understood. 296 00:34:24,861 --> 00:34:27,611 - Stand by, Remote Control. - Remote control ready. 297 00:34:27,698 --> 00:34:31,282 Speed ready. Distance ready. 298 00:34:33,286 --> 00:34:35,578 - Start milk float. - Contact. 299 00:34:46,882 --> 00:34:49,341 - Distance 75 yards. - Accelerating. 300 00:34:59,561 --> 00:35:02,186 - Prime detonators. - Check. 301 00:35:12,197 --> 00:35:14,572 - Gap has widened. - 30 yards. 302 00:35:14,658 --> 00:35:16,699 - Retract detonators. - Check. 303 00:35:21,290 --> 00:35:24,165 - Hold it. He's too close. - Dropping speed. 304 00:35:24,251 --> 00:35:26,126 Ignore Jag. Increase speed. 305 00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:14,294 - Distance gauge failing. - Vision failing. No vision. 306 00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:21,802 Switch to automatic control. Hello, Jag. Are you receiving me? 307 00:36:27,685 --> 00:36:30,435 Drop speed. I'm in direct line. 308 00:36:30,521 --> 00:36:32,979 Jag to Dairy. Drop speed now! 309 00:36:33,274 --> 00:36:35,649 Hello, Jag. Come in, Jag. 310 00:36:35,776 --> 00:36:37,817 - Detonators out. - Out. 311 00:37:04,385 --> 00:37:07,635 Good Lord! Moneypenny. You haven't changed a bit. 312 00:37:12,060 --> 00:37:15,478 Actually, I'm Miss Moneypenny's daughter. 313 00:37:16,897 --> 00:37:20,982 - How is your dear mother? - After you left, she took the vows. 314 00:37:21,069 --> 00:37:23,611 That seems to be the in thing to do these days. 315 00:37:23,696 --> 00:37:26,238 I must say, this place brings back a few memories. 316 00:37:26,365 --> 00:37:28,574 Yes, Mother told me some of them. 317 00:37:30,327 --> 00:37:35,873 She probably also told you that I'm partial to jasmine tea. Lapsang Souchong. 318 00:37:35,957 --> 00:37:39,458 By the way, since I came in here have you noticed me stammer? 319 00:37:39,586 --> 00:37:41,626 - No, sir. - Let me know if I do. 320 00:37:41,754 --> 00:37:43,795 I haven't got time for that now. 321 00:37:43,923 --> 00:37:47,175 - Will you be needing me tonight, sir? - Very probably. 322 00:37:47,301 --> 00:37:50,802 If I'm to take over this department, I have to know all M's secrets. 323 00:37:50,887 --> 00:37:53,512 Not his personal ones, of course. 324 00:37:54,015 --> 00:37:57,516 - May I say welcome back, Sir James. - Thank you... 325 00:37:57,603 --> 00:38:00,061 - Hadley, sir. - Of course. You were... 326 00:38:00,189 --> 00:38:04,024 - My father's son, sir. - And where is your dear father now? 327 00:38:04,110 --> 00:38:06,652 - The same place, sir. - That's encouraging. 328 00:38:06,777 --> 00:38:09,777 Bring me up to date. Who's on what assignment? 329 00:38:09,864 --> 00:38:12,531 - It's not a happy picture. - Why the black flags? 330 00:38:12,825 --> 00:38:14,866 They've been liquidated, I'm afraid. 331 00:38:15,369 --> 00:38:19,037 Finland - stabbed to death in a ladies' sauna bath, sir. 332 00:38:20,541 --> 00:38:23,416 Madrid - burnt in a blazing bordello, sir. 333 00:38:23,502 --> 00:38:27,337 And Tokyo, sir - garrotted in a geisha house. 334 00:38:27,713 --> 00:38:31,923 It's depressing that "secret agent" has become synonymous with "sex maniac". 335 00:38:32,009 --> 00:38:36,177 - Incidentally, where is my namesake? - We had to take him off the board, sir. 336 00:38:36,263 --> 00:38:38,304 He's now doing television. 337 00:38:38,681 --> 00:38:41,307 Why are there two flags in the Caribbean? 338 00:38:41,393 --> 00:38:45,311 We've been out of contact for a month, sir. We're not sure which one to leave. 339 00:38:45,439 --> 00:38:49,106 - Who's there? - Your nephew, sir. Jimmy Bond. 340 00:38:49,192 --> 00:38:52,859 Rather a disappointment, I'm afraid, little Jimmy. 341 00:38:52,947 --> 00:38:55,905 Listen. You can't shoot me. 342 00:38:55,990 --> 00:38:58,282 I have a very low threshold of death. 343 00:38:58,410 --> 00:39:02,578 My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time. 344 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,000 What if I said I was pregnant? 345 00:39:12,549 --> 00:39:17,342 Could I have a last c-cigarette? I'm gonna give it up any day now. 346 00:39:17,469 --> 00:39:19,510 Thank you. 347 00:39:23,142 --> 00:39:24,849 �Listos! 348 00:39:25,685 --> 00:39:28,560 You realise this means an angry letter to The Times. 349 00:39:29,147 --> 00:39:31,605 �Apunten! 350 00:39:31,691 --> 00:39:33,648 �Fuego! 351 00:39:34,193 --> 00:39:37,528 So long, suckers! 352 00:39:42,909 --> 00:39:44,784 �Apunten! �Fuego! 353 00:39:47,497 --> 00:39:49,956 And so I think we'd better count him out, sir. 354 00:39:50,083 --> 00:39:54,460 Yes. Hadley, we're up against an opposition of fiendish ingenuity. 355 00:39:54,545 --> 00:39:57,880 - They make incredible use of women. - Yes, they tend to nowadays. 356 00:39:58,008 --> 00:40:02,969 Female spies harassed me in Scotland, female spies chased me to London. 357 00:40:03,095 --> 00:40:06,679 We need an AFSD - Anti-Female-Spy Device. 358 00:40:07,224 --> 00:40:11,225 We find the one man all women want, then we train him not to want women. 359 00:40:11,645 --> 00:40:14,437 All our wantable agents have disappeared, sir. 360 00:40:14,522 --> 00:40:18,274 This is where you come in. Go through all the auxiliary files. 361 00:40:18,359 --> 00:40:20,484 The lot, sir? It'll take all night. 362 00:40:20,904 --> 00:40:23,028 Your mother did her best work at night. 363 00:41:12,493 --> 00:41:14,867 Shall we continue? 364 00:41:21,335 --> 00:41:25,796 - And what is your name? - Cooper, Big Eyes. But call me Coop. 365 00:41:25,923 --> 00:41:29,424 - Like something for keeping birds. - That's me. 366 00:41:32,053 --> 00:41:37,640 - I have to note your qualifications. - Height 6ft 1/2, 184lb. 367 00:41:37,726 --> 00:41:42,104 Trophies for karate and judo, holder of the Kamasutra black belt. 368 00:41:42,230 --> 00:41:46,148 - Very impressive. How do you spell that? - I'll show you. 369 00:41:46,276 --> 00:41:49,694 I have to check 15 more auxiliaries in alphabetical... 370 00:41:49,820 --> 00:41:54,697 Call Mr Zacharias and tell him not to wait up. The vacancy's just been filled. 371 00:41:58,328 --> 00:42:01,495 A first-class performance, Cooper. Excellent. 372 00:42:01,583 --> 00:42:05,418 - Your primary statistics fit the bill. - We aim to please, sir. 373 00:42:05,501 --> 00:42:08,251 You will start your AFSD training immediately. 374 00:42:08,338 --> 00:42:11,922 Moneypenny, get a few dozen girls for Cooper to start with. 375 00:42:12,049 --> 00:42:14,341 - Moneypenny? - A few dozen girls... 376 00:42:14,427 --> 00:42:16,719 I appreciate your confidence, sir. 377 00:42:16,847 --> 00:42:21,141 All agents and trainees will now be known as James Bond 007, including the girls. 378 00:42:21,266 --> 00:42:23,056 Won't that be confusing, sir? 379 00:42:23,186 --> 00:42:26,769 The enemy won't know which way to turn. You are now James Bond. 380 00:42:27,188 --> 00:42:29,562 Congratulations, 007. 381 00:42:29,692 --> 00:42:32,609 And you, 007... sir. 382 00:42:32,693 --> 00:42:34,734 Good hunting, 007. 383 00:42:59,260 --> 00:43:01,719 Doesn't that do something to you, 007? 384 00:43:01,805 --> 00:43:06,056 It does but I'm being trained to ignore it. Beauty's only skin-deep. 385 00:43:06,810 --> 00:43:09,768 How about some skin diving? 386 00:43:09,853 --> 00:43:11,894 Not today, Lorelei. 387 00:43:12,023 --> 00:43:14,064 Right. Ting-Ling. 388 00:43:17,611 --> 00:43:21,363 You know that every fifth child born in the world is Chinese? 389 00:43:21,490 --> 00:43:25,867 - They'll have to keep it up without me. - Why are you so inscrutable? 390 00:43:25,951 --> 00:43:29,118 - That's meant to be our racket. - You might be a double agent. 391 00:43:29,205 --> 00:43:32,872 - What would you do if I was? - Whether you are or not, sayonara. 392 00:43:35,169 --> 00:43:37,210 Next. Shirley. 393 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,467 - You're not Shirley. - No. 394 00:43:44,554 --> 00:43:47,096 I'm the new secret weapon. 395 00:43:47,180 --> 00:43:49,639 - I've just been perfected. - Yes, haven't you? 396 00:43:49,765 --> 00:43:52,932 - They've kept me under wraps. - Lucky them. 397 00:43:55,063 --> 00:43:57,104 What do you do that's so secret? 398 00:43:57,230 --> 00:44:01,858 I don't do anything. But unless you're one of them, you do. 399 00:44:07,658 --> 00:44:11,242 You're really learning to put up quite a resistance. 400 00:44:11,327 --> 00:44:14,036 - It goes against my nature. - I sense that too. 401 00:44:14,122 --> 00:44:17,540 - What are you doing after the exercise? - Getting my head examined. 402 00:44:26,134 --> 00:44:30,135 Our man in Delhi tells us gold will be up two points by midday tomorrow. 403 00:44:30,220 --> 00:44:31,386 Buy gold. 404 00:44:31,513 --> 00:44:35,598 - It'll cost you three nuclear warheads. - Offer two. 405 00:44:35,684 --> 00:44:38,226 Your offer for Rockefeller Center is accepted. 406 00:44:38,353 --> 00:44:42,021 I've changed my mind. I like London. What about Lord Nelson's statue? 407 00:44:42,108 --> 00:44:45,275 It was delivered today, Miss Lynd. 408 00:44:47,319 --> 00:44:49,443 My dear Miss Lynd. 409 00:44:50,907 --> 00:44:54,073 - Who are you, sir? - I am Sir James Bond. 410 00:44:57,331 --> 00:44:59,790 But I thought you were retired, Sir James. 411 00:44:59,915 --> 00:45:02,664 The whole world believes you were eaten by a shark. 412 00:45:02,751 --> 00:45:06,418 That was no shark, that was my personal submarine. 413 00:45:06,505 --> 00:45:08,797 But enough of this polite conversation. 414 00:45:08,881 --> 00:45:12,465 - What is the purpose of your visit? - I desperately need your help. 415 00:45:12,552 --> 00:45:17,180 My dear Sir James, I hardly ever undertake assignments these days. 416 00:45:17,264 --> 00:45:21,474 I can see why, but I think I can persuade you to undertake this one. 417 00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,352 Your reputation is remarkable. 418 00:45:24,438 --> 00:45:28,022 But believe me when I say I save all my energies for business. 419 00:45:29,276 --> 00:45:32,694 I have here a writ for just over �5 million tax arrears. 420 00:45:33,154 --> 00:45:35,363 If you were to be cooperative, 421 00:45:35,448 --> 00:45:38,783 I could arrange easy payments and a substantial discount? 422 00:45:40,411 --> 00:45:44,163 Perhaps we should discuss this matter in comfort, Sir James. 423 00:45:44,290 --> 00:45:47,958 Thank you. What a charming outfit that is. 424 00:45:48,043 --> 00:45:50,669 Do you often wear that in the office? 425 00:45:50,754 --> 00:45:53,712 If I wore it in the street, people might stare. 426 00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,342 You said, Sir James, you needed my help. 427 00:45:57,427 --> 00:46:01,345 I did, didn't l? I have a dossier on a man who works at the Buckingham Club. 428 00:46:01,431 --> 00:46:03,472 His name is Evelyn Tremble. 429 00:46:14,111 --> 00:46:17,361 Mr Evelyn Tremble? 430 00:46:19,615 --> 00:46:23,451 - Yes, that's right. - Isn't Evelyn a girl's name? 431 00:46:25,412 --> 00:46:27,453 No, it's mine actually. 432 00:46:30,501 --> 00:46:34,419 - Do you know me from somewhere? - Your book: Tremble On Baccarat. 433 00:46:34,545 --> 00:46:36,919 I've studied it very closely. 434 00:46:37,339 --> 00:46:40,674 At night, in my bed. 435 00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:43,759 Is that where you study it? 436 00:46:44,763 --> 00:46:48,515 There are several passes you describe in your book 437 00:46:48,641 --> 00:46:50,765 which I don't fully understand. 438 00:46:50,895 --> 00:46:52,935 Which passes are these? 439 00:46:53,062 --> 00:46:57,607 They're all marked. I would have to have my book. Your book. 440 00:46:59,486 --> 00:47:01,860 And my book is in... 441 00:47:02,530 --> 00:47:04,154 My bed. 442 00:47:13,623 --> 00:47:16,081 You're winning tonight. 443 00:47:19,713 --> 00:47:22,172 I'll send my car for you. 444 00:47:36,437 --> 00:47:39,437 - Yes? - Hello. It's me, Evelyn Tremble. 445 00:47:39,564 --> 00:47:42,816 Hello, Mr Tremble. Can you hold on for a moment? 446 00:47:53,662 --> 00:47:58,455 Eric? Don't forget to empty the deepfreeze first thing in the morning. 447 00:47:59,082 --> 00:48:02,666 Hello, Mr Tremble. I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, 448 00:48:02,753 --> 00:48:05,045 but I was just seeing someone off. 449 00:48:05,172 --> 00:48:08,590 Come right up, all right? Bye-bye. 450 00:48:10,886 --> 00:48:13,261 - So nice of you to come. - My pleasure. 451 00:48:13,389 --> 00:48:14,888 This way. 452 00:48:14,973 --> 00:48:18,474 # The look of love 453 00:48:19,644 --> 00:48:23,562 # Is in your eyes 454 00:48:24,316 --> 00:48:32,322 # A look your smile can't disguise 455 00:48:33,991 --> 00:48:38,784 # The look oflove 456 00:48:40,330 --> 00:48:47,793 # It's saying so much more than just words could ever say 457 00:48:50,257 --> 00:48:53,174 # And what my heart has heard 458 00:48:53,259 --> 00:48:57,094 # Well, it takes my breath away 459 00:48:58,139 --> 00:49:01,055 # I can hardly wait to hold you 460 00:49:01,349 --> 00:49:04,058 # Feel my arms around you 461 00:49:04,561 --> 00:49:07,436 # How long I have waited 462 00:49:07,522 --> 00:49:09,646 # Waited just to love you 463 00:49:09,776 --> 00:49:13,194 # Now that I have found you 464 00:49:13,861 --> 00:49:18,489 # You've got the look of love 465 00:49:19,409 --> 00:49:23,161 # It's on your face 466 00:49:24,246 --> 00:49:32,543 # The look that time can't erase 467 00:49:35,340 --> 00:49:37,297 Hello. 468 00:49:38,510 --> 00:49:40,550 Hello. 469 00:49:45,183 --> 00:49:48,433 That's Lord Nelson, isn't it? 470 00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:51,393 - Yes. Isn't he beautiful? - Yes. 471 00:49:52,147 --> 00:49:54,271 - And do you know what he said? - What? 472 00:49:54,942 --> 00:49:58,443 England expects every man to do his duty. 473 00:49:59,279 --> 00:50:06,034 So he did, yes. But this is Mayfair. Lord Nelson's in Trafalgar Square surely. 474 00:50:06,452 --> 00:50:09,870 No, not any more. He's mine. Haven't you read the papers today? 475 00:50:09,956 --> 00:50:14,500 - I don't normally get them quite so early. - I get 'em before they're printed. 476 00:50:14,585 --> 00:50:17,585 I suppose you can do anything if you have money. 477 00:50:17,713 --> 00:50:19,838 Why don't you come down to me? 478 00:50:22,384 --> 00:50:24,592 Thank you very much. 479 00:50:24,678 --> 00:50:26,970 Lovely place you've got down there. 480 00:50:27,097 --> 00:50:29,138 Sit here. 481 00:50:33,603 --> 00:50:37,646 I do so like to feel comfortable whatever I'm doing. 482 00:50:37,731 --> 00:50:42,109 Yes indeed. Yes. The more relaxed the muscles, 483 00:50:42,195 --> 00:50:46,989 the better the synchronisation between mind and body. 484 00:50:47,741 --> 00:50:51,577 I should think you're frightfully synchronised, Mr Tremble. 485 00:50:55,832 --> 00:50:58,582 - Martini? - What about them? 486 00:50:58,668 --> 00:51:01,335 I was just about to offer you one. 487 00:51:10,637 --> 00:51:15,347 The things I didn't understand too well in your book. Let me see... 488 00:51:15,476 --> 00:51:19,059 Was it in chapter seven or chapter six? 489 00:51:21,023 --> 00:51:23,397 Chapter six probably. 490 00:51:23,524 --> 00:51:27,525 Though of course it could have been chapter seven. 491 00:51:29,447 --> 00:51:32,697 Have you got the book or is it still in your bed? 492 00:51:34,076 --> 00:51:36,117 I believe it is. 493 00:51:47,881 --> 00:51:51,465 Well, we'd better go right through the book, hadn't we? 494 00:52:04,438 --> 00:52:07,523 Do you get many complaints from the neighbours? 495 00:52:13,530 --> 00:52:17,697 Do you really think that your system is completely faultless? 496 00:52:17,784 --> 00:52:21,451 - Which system? - Your system for winning at baccarat. 497 00:52:21,746 --> 00:52:29,710 Yes, yes. The Evelyn Tremble system is faultless. 498 00:52:29,795 --> 00:52:33,296 Good. Come on. We have more to do. 499 00:52:33,882 --> 00:52:35,506 More? 500 00:52:35,635 --> 00:52:38,635 I like a man who is able to retain his own personality, 501 00:52:38,762 --> 00:52:41,720 no matter what the circumstances. 502 00:52:43,058 --> 00:52:44,474 Yes. 503 00:52:44,559 --> 00:52:47,268 No matter how he's dressed. 504 00:52:48,228 --> 00:52:51,395 They say it's the clothes that make the man. 505 00:52:51,482 --> 00:52:55,860 If we're gonna work together, I have to know what kind of a man you are. 506 00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:01,156 I thought you might have gathered a little from... 507 00:53:01,241 --> 00:53:05,325 I want to see what happens when you put on a different hat, a costume. 508 00:53:05,413 --> 00:53:07,787 You know, that sort of thing. 509 00:53:08,623 --> 00:53:13,751 - You like that sort of thing, eh? - You'll find clothes in there. Put them on. 510 00:53:14,630 --> 00:53:17,339 Well, if you think it's really necessary. 511 00:53:17,423 --> 00:53:19,715 Unless you'd like to go around one more time. 512 00:53:19,842 --> 00:53:21,883 One more time? 513 00:53:30,644 --> 00:53:36,398 There is nothing wrong with the British Army that a damn good swim won't cure. 514 00:53:37,317 --> 00:53:40,484 Now, Evelyn Tremble. 515 00:53:40,612 --> 00:53:43,487 38 years old, born in Highgate. 516 00:53:43,907 --> 00:53:46,199 Hello, sailor. 517 00:53:50,329 --> 00:53:52,369 The wrong one, yes? 518 00:53:54,416 --> 00:53:56,123 Perfect. 519 00:53:56,210 --> 00:54:00,336 Distinguishing birthmark, little scar on right shoulder, 520 00:54:00,422 --> 00:54:03,255 strawberry-shaped birthmark on left thigh. 521 00:54:03,341 --> 00:54:06,008 Well, there's nothing unusual in that. 522 00:54:06,095 --> 00:54:09,762 No. I myself have an apricot one on my hip. 523 00:54:10,139 --> 00:54:13,641 Well, I'll show you my strawberry if you'll show me your apricot. 524 00:54:13,726 --> 00:54:16,101 Author of a book on baccarat. 525 00:54:22,818 --> 00:54:25,734 Have you ever heard of a man called Le Chiffre? 526 00:54:26,196 --> 00:54:30,406 Yes. An excellent card player. He once wrote me a fan letter. 527 00:54:31,034 --> 00:54:34,119 Keep your hands there. Perfect. Lovely. 528 00:54:35,913 --> 00:54:41,333 I devoted a chapter to him in my book. His forte is baccarat. 529 00:54:41,877 --> 00:54:44,877 Beside baccarat, he deals in lechery. 530 00:54:45,673 --> 00:54:47,797 Well, nobody's perfect. 531 00:54:48,301 --> 00:54:52,595 Do you think you can win against Le Chiffre? 532 00:54:52,720 --> 00:54:58,558 Well, you'll remember that to operate my system completely free of risk 533 00:54:58,642 --> 00:55:01,559 a stake of �100,000 is required. 534 00:55:02,272 --> 00:55:04,480 Yes, I remember. 535 00:55:04,607 --> 00:55:06,648 Stand still. 536 00:55:10,529 --> 00:55:17,575 I'm gonna give you a 500th at f2. 537 00:55:18,996 --> 00:55:22,497 That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever said to me. 538 00:55:25,334 --> 00:55:29,879 What would you say if I offered to stake you in a game against Le Chiffre? 539 00:55:31,924 --> 00:55:33,424 What? 540 00:55:33,509 --> 00:55:37,761 I put up the money, you play the game and we split 50-50. 541 00:55:41,892 --> 00:55:45,393 - I think I'll go now if you don't mind. - What's wrong? 542 00:55:46,938 --> 00:55:50,356 I enjoyed the earlier part of this evening very much. 543 00:55:51,026 --> 00:55:54,693 I shall always remember the pleasure of your company. 544 00:55:54,780 --> 00:55:58,114 I didn't even mind this dressing-up bit. 545 00:55:58,199 --> 00:56:03,076 But I do mind bloody unnecessary jokes about the one thing I really know well. 546 00:56:03,162 --> 00:56:08,123 Evelyn, I'm serious. It's because you know about baccarat that I'm not joking. 547 00:56:08,585 --> 00:56:11,543 You said you needed �100,000? 548 00:56:13,672 --> 00:56:16,215 - It's yours. - That's fantastic. 549 00:56:17,300 --> 00:56:21,677 But look here. Old Le Chiffre would never agree to play me. 550 00:56:21,763 --> 00:56:24,222 He's read my book. He'd recognise my name. 551 00:56:24,307 --> 00:56:27,140 - No, no. Not any more. - Why? 552 00:56:27,602 --> 00:56:30,519 We have chosen a new name for you. 553 00:56:31,063 --> 00:56:33,020 James Bond. 554 00:56:33,857 --> 00:56:36,857 Welcome to the James Bond 007 training school. 555 00:56:36,985 --> 00:56:41,779 It's a small Minnox camera, isn't it? A friend of mine's got one of those. 556 00:56:41,907 --> 00:56:44,199 - It's Mr Bond, isn't it? - Yes. 557 00:56:44,325 --> 00:56:46,867 If you'd be good enough to sign here, sir. 558 00:56:46,993 --> 00:56:51,454 It's not for me. It's for the Official Secrets Act. 559 00:56:51,542 --> 00:56:52,623 Of course. 560 00:56:52,709 --> 00:56:55,626 Eyes right! 561 00:56:56,838 --> 00:56:58,795 Eyes front! 562 00:56:58,881 --> 00:57:02,133 - Carry on, Sergeant Major. - Yes, sir. Mark time! 563 00:57:03,344 --> 00:57:05,970 Halt! About turn. 564 00:57:09,099 --> 00:57:11,391 You really do stock everything at Harrod's. 565 00:57:11,518 --> 00:57:14,768 Don't pay too much attention. It's all basic stuff. 566 00:57:14,855 --> 00:57:17,688 It'll be out of date by the January sales. 567 00:57:22,112 --> 00:57:24,903 - Good morning, Johnson. - Sir! 568 00:57:34,330 --> 00:57:36,455 May I tell you something? 569 00:57:36,583 --> 00:57:39,583 - I'm being followed. - I know. It's part of the training. 570 00:57:39,711 --> 00:57:41,919 Shadowing people without being seen. 571 00:57:42,005 --> 00:57:46,466 The whole point is I can quite clearly see the man who is shadowing me. 572 00:57:48,051 --> 00:57:51,803 Oh! Him. Don't worry about him. He's not one of our trainees. 573 00:57:51,889 --> 00:57:54,764 - He's our security man. - I see. 574 00:57:55,100 --> 00:57:58,518 Good morning, lnspector. Don't let me interrupt you. 575 00:57:58,603 --> 00:58:01,228 On the command, the head is turned thus, 576 00:58:01,315 --> 00:58:04,273 the hat is aimed thus, the gun is fired thus. 577 00:58:08,697 --> 00:58:11,323 Yes, we're still working on that one. 578 00:58:12,283 --> 00:58:15,158 Now to Agents' Outfitting. Here we are. 579 00:58:16,829 --> 00:58:19,662 - Morning, Q. - Good morning, Fordyce. New man. 580 00:58:21,917 --> 00:58:24,666 If I could bother you for the signature, sir. 581 00:58:24,754 --> 00:58:28,004 I shouldn't use that pen. The moment the nib touches the paper, 582 00:58:28,131 --> 00:58:31,883 it releases a stream of poisonous gas into the writer's eye. 583 00:58:31,968 --> 00:58:34,636 Good heavens! What will they think of next? 584 00:58:34,721 --> 00:58:36,930 I won't be going near that. 585 00:58:37,056 --> 00:58:40,140 I suppose it's useful if you want to send anyone a... 586 00:58:40,226 --> 00:58:42,266 Poison-pen letter. 587 00:58:42,396 --> 00:58:47,857 All our new men say that. I reply "I don't wish to know that. Kindly leave Ml5." 588 00:58:48,652 --> 00:58:53,029 Yes, sir. We have a very highly developed sense of humour down here. 589 00:58:53,113 --> 00:58:58,074 It isn't the only thing that's highly developed down here. Fordyce! 590 00:58:58,201 --> 00:59:00,827 - Wristwatch. - Sir. 591 00:59:00,912 --> 00:59:04,330 1965 Rolex Oyster Perpetual. 592 00:59:04,749 --> 00:59:08,959 Date indicator and log table round the outer band. 593 00:59:09,043 --> 00:59:12,293 And a thing that shows you what shape the moon is. 594 00:59:13,381 --> 00:59:17,298 - Now, this is very important. Try it on. - Let me help you. 595 00:59:17,428 --> 00:59:21,805 It's your means of reporting to us and our means of contacting you. 596 00:59:21,890 --> 00:59:24,516 Channel six, Fordyce. 597 00:59:24,601 --> 00:59:28,269 Don't worry too much about him, sir. Channel six it is, sir. 598 00:59:28,396 --> 00:59:31,731 I don't think I know which one is which myself now, sir. 599 00:59:31,859 --> 00:59:34,650 Look at your watch and tell me what you see. 600 00:59:35,529 --> 00:59:40,490 It's five and 20 minutes past 11 . It's the 14th of March and... 601 00:59:40,991 --> 00:59:43,533 I said channel six, Fordyce. 602 00:59:44,786 --> 00:59:46,827 Well, nobody's perfect. 603 00:59:50,250 --> 00:59:54,334 But it's absolutely amazing! I've never seen anything like this. 604 00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:58,255 It's a two-way television and radio wristwatch. 605 00:59:59,133 --> 01:00:03,217 It's an American idea. They got it from one of their comic strips. 606 01:00:03,305 --> 01:00:06,180 - Good heavens. - Ah! Tea. 607 01:00:06,265 --> 01:00:07,598 Three lumps. 608 01:00:07,684 --> 01:00:10,226 It's an incredible thing, this. 609 01:00:10,352 --> 01:00:13,437 Which side do you dress, sir? 610 01:00:13,522 --> 01:00:19,193 - I usually dress away from the window. - It's just some protective clothing, sir. 611 01:00:19,277 --> 01:00:22,152 Let me help you out of your hampering things. 612 01:00:25,116 --> 01:00:27,408 And it is of course Sanforized, sir, 613 01:00:27,534 --> 01:00:31,577 non-iron, and also available in chocolate, oyster or clerical grey. 614 01:00:31,663 --> 01:00:35,915 - It's hand-reefed and double-charvered. - Is it? 615 01:00:36,001 --> 01:00:39,585 - It's a little tight around the... - Poison capsule compartment? 616 01:00:39,671 --> 01:00:44,382 I'm sure we can let it out above the switchblade and Geiger counter. 617 01:00:44,468 --> 01:00:47,803 Do what you can, Fordyce. Your intercom button's in here 618 01:00:47,930 --> 01:00:50,846 with midget transmitters for short-range contacts. 619 01:00:50,932 --> 01:00:55,058 There's an infrared camera, a tape recorder in the shoulder padding, 620 01:00:55,144 --> 01:01:00,773 a Beretta in the buttonhole, and a cute little minigun in the gusset. 621 01:01:00,858 --> 01:01:02,899 Yes. Just one thing. 622 01:01:03,026 --> 01:01:06,528 What happens if I suddenly need to go somewhere? 623 01:01:06,863 --> 01:01:11,825 In this, sir? You'll find safety instructions under the left lapel. 624 01:01:12,662 --> 01:01:16,080 Don't worry. You're in very good hands here. 625 01:01:17,164 --> 01:01:19,288 Now this won't hurt a bit, sir. 626 01:01:19,750 --> 01:01:24,544 - Who g-gave you these orders? - International Mothers' Help, East Berlin. 627 01:01:24,631 --> 01:01:28,632 There it is, Hadley. Our only clue. The voice of a beautiful woman. 628 01:01:28,718 --> 01:01:33,262 We've checked it out, sir. It's a Smersh cover operation, sir. 629 01:01:33,389 --> 01:01:38,016 It supplies baby-sitters and au pair girls to some of the most important families. 630 01:01:38,143 --> 01:01:41,477 Then it must be infiltrated by someone absolutely reliable. 631 01:01:41,563 --> 01:01:44,813 - I hope you weren't thinking of me. - I was thinking of Mata. 632 01:01:44,941 --> 01:01:48,443 - You can't mean Mata Hari, sir. - No, her daughter Mata Bond. 633 01:01:48,528 --> 01:01:51,237 - Mata Bond, sir? - Her mother gave her that name 634 01:01:51,321 --> 01:01:54,823 because I happen to be the child's sort of godfather. 635 01:01:54,909 --> 01:01:58,994 And to think that you knew Mata Hari! She really was one of the greats. 636 01:01:59,080 --> 01:02:02,414 Yes. Great little dancer, terrible spy. 637 01:02:02,500 --> 01:02:06,227 Whereas young Mata is a terrible dancer. Might be a great little spy. 638 01:05:18,964 --> 01:05:23,855 It's uncanny. Quite uncanny. What memories it brings back. 639 01:05:23,981 --> 01:05:29,290 Paris, Berlin, Vienna. How madly we danced through the night. 640 01:05:29,376 --> 01:05:33,472 - I was disguised as a Hungarian hussar... - What are you going on about? 641 01:05:34,476 --> 01:05:38,698 You're the very image of your mother and every bit as beautiful. 642 01:05:38,783 --> 01:05:41,082 You knew my mum? 643 01:05:41,836 --> 01:05:43,883 I am Sir James Bond. 644 01:05:44,846 --> 01:05:46,893 - Daddy! - My child. 645 01:05:50,567 --> 01:05:53,988 - Snail's egg? - No, thanks. They don't agree with me. 646 01:05:54,781 --> 01:05:57,868 Well, you're a charmer, aren't you? 647 01:05:59,453 --> 01:06:04,334 You dump me in an orphanage when I'm three, and now, because you need me... 648 01:06:04,460 --> 01:06:08,298 It really was very difficult. My career was at its height... 649 01:06:08,424 --> 01:06:11,928 It was a traumatic experience, I can tell you, 650 01:06:12,054 --> 01:06:15,392 being the illegitimate daughter of Mata Hari and James Bond. 651 01:06:15,517 --> 01:06:18,395 Still, you do get my monthly paychecks? 652 01:06:19,063 --> 01:06:22,317 Your monthly paychecks went on analysts' fees. 653 01:06:22,443 --> 01:06:25,530 That's why I came here. I had to get away from it all. 654 01:06:25,613 --> 01:06:29,535 I had no idea. Well, I must say, you seem to be very comfortable here. 655 01:06:29,618 --> 01:06:32,329 It's crazy. You want a drag? 656 01:06:32,414 --> 01:06:36,085 No, thank you. I'm trying to give that up. Who are all these people?