1 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:52,803 In 1974, President Richard Nixon resigned in disgrace... 2 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,554 ...amid the Watergate scandal. 3 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:57,015 One of the mysteries of the 20th century... 4 00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,309 ...pertains to the identity of Deep Throat... 5 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:03,479 ... the inside source who leaked the information to The Washington Post. 6 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,065 Who is Deep Throat? 7 00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:08,442 Tonight, my guests will answer that question. 8 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:09,944 Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein... 9 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:13,322 ...Post reporters who broke the story so many years ago. 10 00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:16,700 -Nice to have you here. -Thank you for having us. 11 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:18,744 Let's just get right to it. 12 00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,246 Who is... 13 00:01:20,454 --> 00:01:21,621 ...Deep Throat? 14 00:01:23,165 --> 00:01:25,750 Well, first of all, we're not telling you. 15 00:01:28,462 --> 00:01:32,674 Second, I was under the impression that I would be the only guest tonight. 16 00:01:32,925 --> 00:01:34,634 Well, I guess you're not, Bob. 17 00:01:36,303 --> 00:01:38,763 You know, you guys are getting pretty old now. 18 00:01:39,014 --> 00:01:40,348 So what's your point? 19 00:01:40,599 --> 00:01:43,768 I'm wondering, are you ever going to tell anybody... 20 00:01:44,019 --> 00:01:45,311 ... who Deep Throat is... 21 00:01:45,562 --> 00:01:46,854 ...before you die? 22 00:01:47,105 --> 00:01:49,482 Well, a lot bigger names than you... 23 00:01:49,732 --> 00:01:51,525 ...have asked us who Deep Throat is, so.... 24 00:01:51,776 --> 00:01:54,778 I don't think we'd reveal it on a little show like this. 25 00:01:55,029 --> 00:01:56,572 You know what I think? 26 00:01:56,823 --> 00:01:59,742 I mean, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. 27 00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:04,163 I don't think there is a Deep Throat. I think you made it up. 28 00:02:04,413 --> 00:02:08,750 -Yes, there is. Deep Throat is-- -Don't say it! He's trying to trick us! 29 00:02:11,086 --> 00:02:12,504 I'm sorry, Bob. 30 00:02:12,796 --> 00:02:14,088 Don't ever touch me. 31 00:02:14,339 --> 00:02:16,549 -Bob, I said I'm sorry. -Don't ever-- 32 00:02:16,925 --> 00:02:19,010 You smell like cabbage. 33 00:02:58,215 --> 00:02:59,674 Oh, fudge! 34 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,701 Dear Bobby: 35 00:03:29,453 --> 00:03:31,788 I'm having so much fun already. 36 00:03:32,373 --> 00:03:34,124 I need you to concentrate. 37 00:03:34,374 --> 00:03:35,875 -Dear Bobby: -Hold on, hold on. 38 00:03:36,126 --> 00:03:38,127 -Here's the number one reason-- -Wait. 39 00:03:38,378 --> 00:03:42,006 Arlene, I need to have time to review my letters. 40 00:03:43,258 --> 00:03:45,134 -We have a deadline, Betsy. -I know. 41 00:03:45,385 --> 00:03:48,763 But I need to concentrate. Let me just look at them. 42 00:03:49,097 --> 00:03:50,556 Okay. Dear Bobby: 43 00:03:50,807 --> 00:03:53,809 Here's the number one reason that I think-- 44 00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:56,020 Okay, I'm ready. 45 00:03:57,063 --> 00:03:58,189 "A." 46 00:03:59,857 --> 00:04:01,149 Dear Bobby: 47 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,570 Here's the number one reason that I think that you should choose me... 48 00:04:05,821 --> 00:04:07,197 ...Arlene Lorenzo... 49 00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:10,284 ...for the "Win A Date With Bobby Sherman" contest... 50 00:04:10,534 --> 00:04:12,994 -...in Tiger Beat magazine. -Hold on. Wait. 51 00:04:13,245 --> 00:04:14,621 Number one: I love you. 52 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,457 And number two: I just think you're cute. 53 00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:20,418 B, B. Oh, my God, they're both together. 54 00:04:20,669 --> 00:04:25,340 But the main reason that I think you should pick me, Arlene Lorenzo... 55 00:04:25,882 --> 00:04:28,509 ...is because we're soul mates, Bobby. 56 00:04:30,011 --> 00:04:32,138 You are so brilliant, Arlene. 57 00:04:33,890 --> 00:04:35,725 So what do we have so far? 58 00:04:36,893 --> 00:04:38,352 " Dear Bobb... 59 00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:40,145 ...y:" 60 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,984 I think maybe I could type faster than you. 61 00:04:45,234 --> 00:04:48,487 Four more years! Four more years! 62 00:04:51,865 --> 00:04:54,242 -What are you looking at? -Nothing. 63 00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:58,246 You seem pretty interested in nothing. 64 00:04:58,664 --> 00:04:59,790 Give me those. 65 00:05:08,173 --> 00:05:10,508 I'll take the one doing cartwheels. 66 00:05:12,969 --> 00:05:14,261 What time is it? 67 00:05:15,013 --> 00:05:15,847 Shit! 68 00:05:20,977 --> 00:05:22,937 The gemstone is glistening. 69 00:05:23,187 --> 00:05:25,564 The gemstone is glistening. 70 00:05:43,623 --> 00:05:45,458 She's finally asleep! 71 00:05:45,792 --> 00:05:49,295 The deadline to enter the contest is midnight. We have to hurry. 72 00:05:50,171 --> 00:05:52,298 We have to mail this letter. Go... 73 00:05:52,549 --> 00:05:54,884 ...so I can win, or I swear I'll die. 74 00:06:01,265 --> 00:06:03,141 -Evening, Mr. Whipple. -Evening. 75 00:06:03,392 --> 00:06:05,477 Don't squeeze the Charmin. 76 00:06:06,562 --> 00:06:07,771 -Hi, Dad. -Hi, Georgie. 77 00:06:08,022 --> 00:06:10,983 -Can I carry the Charmin? -Yep, but no squeezing. 78 00:06:11,233 --> 00:06:12,984 What did you do in the store today? 79 00:06:13,402 --> 00:06:15,028 You should've seen it. 80 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,490 There I was, and these two ladies were squeezing the Charmin. 81 00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:27,373 This way, we can get back in without having to go to the lobby. 82 00:06:27,707 --> 00:06:30,000 So nobody'll ever see us and tell my mom. 83 00:06:33,129 --> 00:06:34,713 You're a genius! 84 00:06:58,445 --> 00:06:59,612 Down, down! 85 00:06:59,905 --> 00:07:01,239 It's Fat Freddy. 86 00:07:08,246 --> 00:07:10,247 That is so disgusting. 87 00:07:11,124 --> 00:07:12,583 Go, go, go! 88 00:07:34,563 --> 00:07:35,730 What the--? 89 00:07:37,775 --> 00:07:38,901 Oh, shit! 90 00:07:40,611 --> 00:07:43,780 Max, call the cops. Looks like we got a break-in here. 91 00:07:45,115 --> 00:07:46,908 You know why I love Bobby? 92 00:07:47,159 --> 00:07:50,537 Because he cares about people, but also about nature and ecology. 93 00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:54,623 I need a status report. Give me a 20 for gemstone. Over. 94 00:07:55,583 --> 00:07:56,500 Jewel thieves! 95 00:07:56,793 --> 00:07:57,752 Really? 96 00:07:58,753 --> 00:08:00,087 Hold it! 97 00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:05,092 Get away from us! 98 00:08:07,261 --> 00:08:10,097 Young people running wild in the middle of the night. 99 00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:16,436 By the time you're grown, you'll be living in the Soviet Union of America! 100 00:08:27,072 --> 00:08:28,615 She's still out like a light. 101 00:08:37,832 --> 00:08:40,125 We have the suspects in custody! 102 00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:42,712 It was a jewel heist. 103 00:08:42,962 --> 00:08:45,339 See if you can get any statements from them. 104 00:08:49,135 --> 00:08:50,219 Arlene? 105 00:08:50,511 --> 00:08:51,637 Betsy? 106 00:08:51,971 --> 00:08:54,139 What are you two doing up at this hour? 107 00:08:56,684 --> 00:08:58,185 Nothing. 108 00:08:58,894 --> 00:09:02,647 Last night, five men were arrested in the Democratic Committee office... 109 00:09:02,898 --> 00:09:05,567 ... during an attempted burglary at the Watergate complex. 110 00:09:05,817 --> 00:09:07,026 It has been confirmed... 111 00:09:07,277 --> 00:09:10,988 ... that one of the arrested was formerly an employee of the CIA. 112 00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:13,825 Aren't you students excited... 113 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:18,621 ...about visiting the home of the President and the first family? 114 00:09:18,871 --> 00:09:20,747 Well, not really. 115 00:09:20,998 --> 00:09:25,544 And after our tour, we're having lunch at McDonald's. 116 00:09:28,589 --> 00:09:30,340 I love McDonald's so much! 117 00:09:30,591 --> 00:09:32,843 French fries! French fries! 118 00:09:38,182 --> 00:09:40,559 He looks like he's wearing blush. 119 00:09:47,983 --> 00:09:50,068 That guy has T.P. stuck to his shoe. 120 00:09:50,652 --> 00:09:51,778 Hey, mister! 121 00:09:52,904 --> 00:09:54,864 -Hey, you! -Shorty, turn around. 122 00:09:56,074 --> 00:09:57,992 Young lady, I am a very busy man. 123 00:09:58,243 --> 00:09:59,494 Wait a minute, I know you. 124 00:09:59,744 --> 00:10:01,829 Me too. But from where? 125 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,289 I don't know. 126 00:10:03,539 --> 00:10:05,457 Do you sell corn dogs at the mall? 127 00:10:05,708 --> 00:10:09,711 As far as you're concerned, I have no identity at all. 128 00:10:10,046 --> 00:10:11,547 As a matter of fact... 129 00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,757 ...l'm not even here. 130 00:10:14,883 --> 00:10:17,135 He's way weirder than the corn-dog guy. 131 00:10:19,263 --> 00:10:20,847 And this isn't T.P. 132 00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:24,476 It's a piece of paper with names and amounts of money on it. 133 00:10:25,268 --> 00:10:26,769 " CREEP list"? 134 00:10:27,229 --> 00:10:30,607 I guess all the people on that list must be creeps. 135 00:10:31,566 --> 00:10:32,775 Souvenir. 136 00:10:33,735 --> 00:10:35,069 Let's go. 137 00:10:40,658 --> 00:10:42,993 Jesus, Gordon, they're just little girls. 138 00:10:43,661 --> 00:10:47,706 They were in the Watergate last night. They know too much, Bob. 139 00:10:49,041 --> 00:10:51,501 I want to interrogate them. 140 00:10:52,878 --> 00:10:57,090 I think you've done enough, what with bumbling the burglary and all. 141 00:10:57,466 --> 00:10:59,926 Just pay off all your guys on that CREEP list. 142 00:11:00,177 --> 00:11:03,013 Don't worry about that. I've got that right here. 143 00:11:03,305 --> 00:11:07,851 G. Gordon Liddy isn't going to let down the President of the United States. 144 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:13,773 Would you ladies like to see the west wing of the White House? 145 00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:24,075 Sorry. 146 00:11:26,744 --> 00:11:28,162 This is fun. 147 00:11:29,705 --> 00:11:31,498 Look at that b-- 148 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,044 Ladies... 149 00:11:37,046 --> 00:11:39,339 ...when you think of your President... 150 00:11:39,757 --> 00:11:41,008 ...do you think... 151 00:11:41,341 --> 00:11:43,176 ...friendly thoughts? 152 00:11:47,014 --> 00:11:48,974 I don't think about him that much. 153 00:11:49,224 --> 00:11:50,975 But when you do... 154 00:11:51,935 --> 00:11:53,394 ...you don't think... 155 00:11:53,687 --> 00:11:55,271 ...unfriendly thoughts, do you? 156 00:11:58,691 --> 00:12:01,985 So you would never want to do anything that might... 157 00:12:02,195 --> 00:12:03,404 ...hurt... 158 00:12:03,654 --> 00:12:04,488 ...the President? 159 00:12:04,739 --> 00:12:06,407 Never. No. 160 00:12:06,908 --> 00:12:07,992 Because you see-- 161 00:12:10,328 --> 00:12:12,371 Excuse me, Mr. Haldeman. 162 00:12:12,621 --> 00:12:15,665 It's your wife. She says it's rather urgent. 163 00:12:19,503 --> 00:12:21,212 Excuse me, ladies. 164 00:12:26,843 --> 00:12:28,010 Hello, dear. 165 00:12:29,846 --> 00:12:32,098 Just putting out a little fire here. 166 00:12:32,724 --> 00:12:34,934 I can stop by the store on the way home. 167 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:37,311 A dozen? The poppy kind. 168 00:12:37,562 --> 00:12:41,065 I'll tell you the problem. The dog doesn't like me. 169 00:12:41,524 --> 00:12:45,861 Kennedy and Johnson had dogs that liked them. That's the problem. 170 00:12:46,112 --> 00:12:50,199 Mr. President, maybe you should show the dog more affection. 171 00:12:50,408 --> 00:12:52,493 Maybe I ought to fire you! 172 00:12:53,828 --> 00:12:55,246 Come on, boy. 173 00:12:56,664 --> 00:12:58,540 Looks away. Doesn't look at me. 174 00:12:58,749 --> 00:13:00,250 What'd I do to him? Nothing. 175 00:13:00,501 --> 00:13:02,794 You're supposed to love me, Checkers. 176 00:13:03,003 --> 00:13:05,922 Shouldn't you call him King Timahoe, sir? 177 00:13:08,884 --> 00:13:09,718 Come here. 178 00:13:10,302 --> 00:13:11,594 Where's he going? 179 00:13:13,638 --> 00:13:15,598 No, I am not uptight. 180 00:13:15,932 --> 00:13:18,392 When did you start talking like that, anyway? 181 00:13:19,435 --> 00:13:21,228 What's going on in here? 182 00:13:24,190 --> 00:13:25,482 Mr. President, if I may. 183 00:13:25,733 --> 00:13:27,442 Look how cute you are. Come here. 184 00:13:29,654 --> 00:13:30,696 It's the President. 185 00:13:30,946 --> 00:13:35,408 I mean, all I asked for was a simple bugging, all right? 186 00:13:35,659 --> 00:13:37,619 I don't know how many times we've done that. 187 00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:39,997 And here they go and screw it up. 188 00:13:40,998 --> 00:13:43,375 Hi, puppy. Nice puppy! 189 00:13:43,625 --> 00:13:44,876 Nice puppy! 190 00:13:46,128 --> 00:13:47,671 Have you paid them off yet? 191 00:13:47,879 --> 00:13:50,006 CREEP has made up a list of who to pay off... 192 00:13:50,257 --> 00:13:52,133 ...and Liddy's taking care of it now. 193 00:13:55,345 --> 00:13:57,430 Are you the President's dog trainer? 194 00:13:57,722 --> 00:14:01,058 I'm John Dean, Chief White House Counsel. 195 00:14:02,936 --> 00:14:04,395 That's too bad. 196 00:14:06,689 --> 00:14:07,564 Oh, thank you! 197 00:14:07,815 --> 00:14:09,316 That one lives in the Watergate. 198 00:14:09,567 --> 00:14:11,735 They were there the night of the break-in. 199 00:14:11,944 --> 00:14:12,944 Do they know anything? 200 00:14:13,195 --> 00:14:15,530 I love your ears. Look at the ears! 201 00:14:15,865 --> 00:14:19,576 Sir, I've met yams with more going on upstairs than those two. 202 00:14:19,827 --> 00:14:20,994 Now, Bob. 203 00:14:21,829 --> 00:14:23,705 I remember when... 204 00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,332 ...when Julie... 205 00:14:26,959 --> 00:14:28,794 ...and what's her name, Tricia... 206 00:14:29,127 --> 00:14:30,753 ...were that age. 207 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:35,800 If it wasn't about makeup or Frankie Avalon, they didn't give a hoot. 208 00:14:37,218 --> 00:14:40,304 -You're the softest dog. -What should I do with them? 209 00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:42,807 I'll take care of it. 210 00:14:45,810 --> 00:14:47,853 How're you doing, young ladies? 211 00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:49,605 What are your names? 212 00:14:49,981 --> 00:14:52,441 I'm Betsy and this is Arlene, Mr. President. 213 00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,151 Call me Dick. 214 00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:55,735 Hi, Dick. 215 00:14:55,986 --> 00:14:56,986 How old are you? 216 00:14:57,279 --> 00:14:58,488 Fifteen. 217 00:14:59,239 --> 00:15:02,742 We have an urgent communiqu� from Anderson Air Force Base. 218 00:15:02,951 --> 00:15:03,951 What? 219 00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:05,412 So cute. 220 00:15:05,913 --> 00:15:09,791 Excuse me, I wasn't informed that you are in the middle of.... 221 00:15:10,208 --> 00:15:11,959 What are you in the middle of? 222 00:15:12,210 --> 00:15:13,836 One minute, Henry. 223 00:15:14,254 --> 00:15:15,505 Young ladies... 224 00:15:16,423 --> 00:15:18,758 ...l've got a proposition for you. 225 00:15:19,717 --> 00:15:22,219 How would you two be interested in being... 226 00:15:22,428 --> 00:15:26,181 ...official White House dog walkers? What do you think? 227 00:15:28,351 --> 00:15:29,393 Really? 228 00:15:30,978 --> 00:15:32,312 Jesus! 229 00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:34,398 Who are these little girls? 230 00:15:34,648 --> 00:15:37,150 I don't know, but it doesn't look constitutional to me. 231 00:15:37,401 --> 00:15:38,276 Thank you! 232 00:15:38,527 --> 00:15:41,196 -Thank you so much. -We're gonna walk you! 233 00:15:41,447 --> 00:15:44,157 -I'm so happy. -Thank you. I'm really excited! 234 00:15:44,408 --> 00:15:45,992 Sure. Very good. 235 00:15:46,451 --> 00:15:49,245 Mr. President, really, we have to make a decision... 236 00:15:49,496 --> 00:15:52,999 ...regarding offensive action north of the 22nd parallel. 237 00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,001 Bottom line, Henry... 238 00:15:55,252 --> 00:15:57,921 ...is we bomb them or we don't, isn't it? 239 00:15:58,171 --> 00:15:59,922 I wouldn't put it exactly in that-- 240 00:16:00,548 --> 00:16:01,840 I have something to say. 241 00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:03,091 Go on, Arlene. 242 00:16:04,719 --> 00:16:08,556 War is not healthy for children and other living things. 243 00:16:10,057 --> 00:16:13,226 Henry, that's the voice of the youth of America. 244 00:16:14,020 --> 00:16:15,771 Yeah, well, first of all... 245 00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:18,774 ...it wasn't a war that this administration started. 246 00:16:19,316 --> 00:16:21,860 Henry, Jesus, let's not start that. 247 00:16:22,069 --> 00:16:24,237 Isn't there somebody waiting out there for me? 248 00:16:24,488 --> 00:16:26,364 The Joint Chiefs of Staff. Let's go! 249 00:16:26,615 --> 00:16:29,117 Welcome on board. Hey, good to have you. 250 00:16:29,910 --> 00:16:31,745 Mr. Haldeman, it's your wife. 251 00:16:31,995 --> 00:16:34,205 Have a great day. Congratulations! 252 00:16:34,456 --> 00:16:36,374 I don't have time to talk to her. 253 00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:40,044 -You're starting another war! -I don't have time to talk to her. 254 00:16:40,295 --> 00:16:43,256 If you have a problem with Vietnam, talk to Johnson. 255 00:16:43,506 --> 00:16:45,674 -He's dead! -Yeah, thank God. 256 00:16:45,925 --> 00:16:49,428 Do we bomb or not bomb? Let's get this done with today. 257 00:16:56,977 --> 00:16:58,645 There they are. 258 00:17:03,108 --> 00:17:04,234 I'm sorry! 259 00:17:04,485 --> 00:17:06,236 We're coming! 260 00:17:07,613 --> 00:17:10,073 Because of your thoughtlessness... 261 00:17:10,324 --> 00:17:13,118 ...we have missed the field trip lunch at McDonald's... 262 00:17:13,368 --> 00:17:17,163 ...which the students on the other buses are now enjoying. 263 00:17:17,414 --> 00:17:19,082 We will return to school... 264 00:17:19,332 --> 00:17:21,500 ...for a cold lunch... 265 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,252 ...in the cafeteria. 266 00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:27,131 But we really did meet the President. I swear to God. 267 00:17:27,340 --> 00:17:30,843 And he did ask us to be the official White House dog walkers. 268 00:17:33,763 --> 00:17:36,056 Every lie is another brick... 269 00:17:36,390 --> 00:17:39,351 ...in the pathway to hell. 270 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:54,699 You're so stupid. 271 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,243 I hate you. 272 00:18:39,909 --> 00:18:42,119 Guess what happened to us today! 273 00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:47,458 What's the matter? 274 00:18:47,875 --> 00:18:50,210 Your brother got his letter. 275 00:18:51,337 --> 00:18:53,213 I got drafted. 276 00:18:53,756 --> 00:18:56,800 Now you can get my room, like you always wanted. 277 00:19:08,353 --> 00:19:09,937 Betsy, are you okay? 278 00:19:13,358 --> 00:19:14,567 I'm fine. 279 00:19:15,569 --> 00:19:19,697 I was wondering what we'll do with his crappy bed, dresser and nightstand. 280 00:19:22,450 --> 00:19:25,411 You think the President meant it when he said we could walk Checkers? 281 00:19:25,411 --> 00:19:25,828 You think the President meant it when he said we could walk Checkers? 282 00:19:26,037 --> 00:19:28,956 He's the President, Betsy. He always means what he says. 283 00:19:29,207 --> 00:19:30,833 We should bake him cookies. 284 00:19:31,209 --> 00:19:34,378 Let's make Hello Dollies. It's my mom's special recipe. 285 00:19:41,051 --> 00:19:44,971 All's my mom says is that my dad died in a car crash before I was born. 286 00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:47,724 You've never seen a single picture or anything? 287 00:19:47,933 --> 00:19:51,269 She said it upset her too much, so she threw everything away. 288 00:19:53,063 --> 00:19:56,190 No offense, but it's obvious you're being lied to. 289 00:19:56,399 --> 00:19:58,442 The whole story is way too convenient. 290 00:20:01,279 --> 00:20:02,905 Is the butter melting? 291 00:20:05,033 --> 00:20:06,492 Are you making those cookies? 292 00:20:06,910 --> 00:20:08,369 Yes, but you can't have any. 293 00:20:08,619 --> 00:20:10,287 They're for the President. 294 00:20:13,708 --> 00:20:16,126 Don't forget the walnuts, man. 295 00:20:21,924 --> 00:20:24,634 So you really think that my father could be alive? 296 00:20:24,927 --> 00:20:27,888 Alive and famous. It makes perfect sense. 297 00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:29,430 He was probably married... 298 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,101 ...and your mom had to keep it a secret to protect his reputation. 299 00:20:36,771 --> 00:20:39,273 How come there's little green leaves in the walnuts? 300 00:20:39,608 --> 00:20:41,818 Larry says they're just from the walnut tree. 301 00:20:42,068 --> 00:20:43,402 Anyway... 302 00:20:43,653 --> 00:20:46,697 ...your dad could be watching you now, his heart breaking... 303 00:20:46,948 --> 00:20:51,243 ...because he can't reach out to the only person that matters to him: 304 00:20:51,452 --> 00:20:53,537 His beautiful, darling daughter. 305 00:20:53,746 --> 00:20:55,914 My life is so tragic. 306 00:20:56,582 --> 00:20:58,709 Or it could be even worse. 307 00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:01,628 What if you fall in love and are about to marry... 308 00:21:01,879 --> 00:21:04,423 ...and you find out your fianc�'s dad is your dad too... 309 00:21:04,673 --> 00:21:06,299 ...and that you're brother and sister! 310 00:21:06,592 --> 00:21:07,843 Oh, my God! 311 00:21:08,844 --> 00:21:10,762 It's called incest, Arlene... 312 00:21:11,221 --> 00:21:13,097 ...and it's against the law. 313 00:21:25,235 --> 00:21:28,404 We're here to play with Checkers. The President knows about it. 314 00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:31,324 You're not on the appointment list. Please step back. 315 00:21:32,575 --> 00:21:35,702 The President wants us to walk his dog, Checkers. 316 00:21:36,287 --> 00:21:39,832 Please step back. If you don't comply, you'll be removed. 317 00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:44,628 You are a meanie! 318 00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:50,174 Stupid kids. 319 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,678 I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! 320 00:21:54,304 --> 00:21:57,181 I can't believe I ate that whole thing. 321 00:21:57,390 --> 00:21:58,766 You ate it, Ralph. 322 00:22:02,395 --> 00:22:06,732 Doesn't anybody realize that Kung Fu isn't Chinese? 323 00:22:08,109 --> 00:22:11,487 He doesn't even look Chinese. He looks like the mailman. 324 00:22:12,655 --> 00:22:15,365 Why don't you go to Canada like Mom says? 325 00:22:15,616 --> 00:22:19,703 Too much information's coming in. I have to maintain. 326 00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:21,747 But the old drugs aren't working. 327 00:22:22,289 --> 00:22:24,582 We need to create new drugs. 328 00:22:27,628 --> 00:22:29,921 Have you guys been eating those cookies? 329 00:22:30,172 --> 00:22:32,257 We gave them to Mom and Dad to taste. 330 00:22:32,507 --> 00:22:35,801 They ate all of them and started giggling and went upstairs. 331 00:22:36,053 --> 00:22:37,471 I think they're having sex now. 332 00:22:45,728 --> 00:22:46,562 I have an idea. 333 00:22:47,188 --> 00:22:48,022 What? 334 00:22:48,690 --> 00:22:50,733 Let's ask the President to stop the war. 335 00:22:53,861 --> 00:22:55,487 How will we get into the White House? 336 00:22:55,738 --> 00:22:59,241 Unless you wanna keep the war going, so you can have Larry's room. 337 00:23:02,828 --> 00:23:04,829 Larry's a freak and all... 338 00:23:05,205 --> 00:23:07,957 ...but I'd be sad if he, you know.... 339 00:23:09,668 --> 00:23:10,543 Died? 340 00:23:14,047 --> 00:23:15,882 I really hope that this works. 341 00:23:16,133 --> 00:23:16,967 Of course it will. 342 00:23:17,217 --> 00:23:19,385 You're the smartest person I know. 343 00:23:21,221 --> 00:23:22,930 But you don't know anybody. 344 00:23:36,194 --> 00:23:37,445 If you flirt with him... 345 00:23:37,695 --> 00:23:41,406 ...then I can stand off to the side and do my special whistle. 346 00:24:04,512 --> 00:24:07,431 I like your hair. It's really dry look. 347 00:24:11,686 --> 00:24:13,187 Okay, stop that. 348 00:24:13,438 --> 00:24:15,481 We have to talk to the President. 349 00:24:15,940 --> 00:24:17,107 Code yellow, central corridor. 350 00:24:17,358 --> 00:24:19,485 Code yellow, central corridor. 351 00:24:20,486 --> 00:24:21,361 Oh, my God! 352 00:24:22,405 --> 00:24:23,989 Ladies, this way. 353 00:24:25,115 --> 00:24:26,115 Let's go. 354 00:24:27,534 --> 00:24:30,286 Make sure photographers are outside the restaurant... 355 00:24:30,537 --> 00:24:31,996 ...when I come out after lunch. 356 00:24:34,374 --> 00:24:36,334 Hey, German guy! Remember us? 357 00:24:36,752 --> 00:24:39,462 We're here to walk Checkers and talk to Dick about the war! 358 00:24:41,506 --> 00:24:42,715 I know them. 359 00:24:43,133 --> 00:24:45,301 Yes, that's all right. That's okay. 360 00:24:45,510 --> 00:24:47,803 I'm familiar with these young ladies. 361 00:24:48,012 --> 00:24:51,098 Well, I'm not "familiar" familiar. I know them. 362 00:24:51,349 --> 00:24:54,768 We've had discussions about foreign policy and.... 363 00:24:55,019 --> 00:24:57,146 What, what? Don't you give me that look. 364 00:24:57,939 --> 00:24:59,273 I'll take responsibility. 365 00:24:59,523 --> 00:25:01,650 I'll be the only person who's willing... 366 00:25:01,901 --> 00:25:03,444 ...to take responsibility for anything. 367 00:25:03,694 --> 00:25:06,321 -I think I got bruised. -Did somebody hurt you? 368 00:25:07,656 --> 00:25:10,617 You have to remember it took Charles de Gaulle... 369 00:25:10,868 --> 00:25:13,870 ...four years to extricate himself from Algeria. 370 00:25:14,121 --> 00:25:16,581 Not that I'm comparing myself to de Gaulle. 371 00:25:16,832 --> 00:25:19,417 -Wars are extremely hard to stop. -You're right. 372 00:25:19,626 --> 00:25:22,336 Rose, these young-- You're very becoming this morning. 373 00:25:22,546 --> 00:25:24,464 These ladies want to see the President. 374 00:25:24,673 --> 00:25:28,593 Our President has the weight of the free world on his shoulders... 375 00:25:28,802 --> 00:25:31,304 ...and he doesn't have time to see any old person. 376 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:33,514 Hello, girls. 377 00:25:33,765 --> 00:25:35,057 How are you? 378 00:25:35,308 --> 00:25:36,142 Come on in. 379 00:25:36,350 --> 00:25:38,435 The President will see you now. 380 00:25:40,021 --> 00:25:42,064 Not you, Henry. 381 00:25:42,314 --> 00:25:44,941 That's all right. I'm late for an interview anyway... 382 00:25:45,609 --> 00:25:48,445 -...with the Nobel Committee. -Right. 383 00:25:49,488 --> 00:25:51,197 I'll be a monkey's uncle... 384 00:25:51,407 --> 00:25:54,701 ...if these aren't the yummiest cookies I've ever had. 385 00:25:55,869 --> 00:25:58,579 Thanks. It's a secret recipe. 386 00:25:59,039 --> 00:25:59,998 Secret, eh? 387 00:26:00,415 --> 00:26:01,374 Anyway... 388 00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:04,752 ...there doesn't seem to be any point to it. 389 00:26:05,086 --> 00:26:06,378 Point to what? 390 00:26:07,464 --> 00:26:08,423 The war. 391 00:26:12,468 --> 00:26:13,886 See, girls... 392 00:26:14,637 --> 00:26:19,057 ...we're fighting the Communists because Communism is immoral. 393 00:26:19,308 --> 00:26:20,892 That's the whole point. 394 00:26:21,644 --> 00:26:24,354 Don't you think it's more important what's going on here? 395 00:26:24,605 --> 00:26:25,647 What do you mean? 396 00:26:26,398 --> 00:26:28,441 Well, I mean... 397 00:26:28,651 --> 00:26:30,944 ...nobody at our school's worried about Communism... 398 00:26:31,195 --> 00:26:34,990 ...but everybody talks about Mac Washington because he got killed there. 399 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:38,284 -And Betsy's brother just got drafted. -He's maintaining. 400 00:26:38,535 --> 00:26:39,786 He's maintaining? 401 00:26:41,079 --> 00:26:42,121 Good for him. 402 00:26:43,373 --> 00:26:46,667 I think people would like you better if you stopped the war. 403 00:26:46,918 --> 00:26:50,588 Well, don't worry your pretty little heads. Okay? 404 00:26:50,839 --> 00:26:53,007 I think we know what we're doing. 405 00:26:55,051 --> 00:26:56,260 I guess so. 406 00:27:01,307 --> 00:27:02,391 Can we walk Checkers now? 407 00:27:02,683 --> 00:27:04,684 Yeah, go ahead. Have a ball. 408 00:27:05,561 --> 00:27:07,020 Secret recipe, eh? 409 00:27:08,063 --> 00:27:09,731 I'm feeling lightheaded. 410 00:27:10,774 --> 00:27:12,692 These are scrumptious. 411 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:16,237 I've gotta tell you, I haven't felt this way in-- 412 00:27:29,542 --> 00:27:32,086 Again? They must never let him out. 413 00:27:32,462 --> 00:27:35,006 I know. Would you look at all that shit? 414 00:27:35,506 --> 00:27:37,341 Oh, I mean, poo-poo. 415 00:27:39,886 --> 00:27:41,971 I think it was left. 416 00:27:43,889 --> 00:27:46,307 That's because you couldn't go right. 417 00:27:51,271 --> 00:27:52,855 Well, let's ask someone. 418 00:27:55,984 --> 00:27:57,151 Or not. 419 00:27:57,819 --> 00:27:58,653 Come on. 420 00:27:58,904 --> 00:28:00,822 Let's go, Checkers. Come on. 421 00:28:05,785 --> 00:28:07,536 Who the hell are you? 422 00:28:08,747 --> 00:28:12,584 We're walking the dog, Checkers, and we sort of got lost. 423 00:28:12,792 --> 00:28:14,835 We went left because you couldn't go right. 424 00:28:15,086 --> 00:28:17,630 And we're looking for the President's office... 425 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,632 ...because that's who we walk the dog for. 426 00:28:20,841 --> 00:28:21,925 We're really sorry. 427 00:28:22,176 --> 00:28:23,010 Shit! 428 00:28:28,641 --> 00:28:29,725 Oh, I'm so sorry. 429 00:28:29,975 --> 00:28:33,186 -We brought your dog back. -We didn't know! 430 00:28:33,437 --> 00:28:35,146 What in bejesus is going on? 431 00:28:41,486 --> 00:28:42,820 All right, settle down. 432 00:28:43,155 --> 00:28:44,864 What's going on, Bob? 433 00:28:45,073 --> 00:28:46,782 They walked in on the shredding. 434 00:28:47,742 --> 00:28:50,703 They actually saw documents being shredded? 435 00:28:51,746 --> 00:28:54,081 And the cash for the payoffs. 436 00:28:55,667 --> 00:28:57,502 Checkers pooped. 437 00:28:58,461 --> 00:29:02,339 The President's dog doesn't poop. He "does his business." 438 00:29:04,300 --> 00:29:05,634 I'll take care of it. 439 00:29:05,968 --> 00:29:09,262 I've got a way with young people. They trust me. 440 00:29:10,306 --> 00:29:12,558 Why were they shredding all that paper? 441 00:29:13,475 --> 00:29:16,602 Papier-m�ch� is a hobby of mine. 442 00:29:17,854 --> 00:29:19,814 Nice painting of a boat. 443 00:29:20,357 --> 00:29:21,983 Step right here, actually. 444 00:29:23,276 --> 00:29:26,487 I want to have a little private chat with you. 445 00:29:26,863 --> 00:29:27,780 You know, today... 446 00:29:27,989 --> 00:29:32,868 ...you ladies gave me some very, very good counsel in foreign affairs. 447 00:29:33,119 --> 00:29:37,873 So in addition to being official dog walkers... 448 00:29:38,124 --> 00:29:42,044 ...l'd like you to be my Secret Youth Advisers. 449 00:29:42,253 --> 00:29:44,755 Which means you mustn't say a thing... 450 00:29:45,006 --> 00:29:48,092 ...about anything that happens in the White House. 451 00:29:48,342 --> 00:29:50,135 Do I have your word on that? 452 00:29:51,804 --> 00:29:53,305 Swear to God? 453 00:29:53,722 --> 00:29:54,848 -Promise. -Hope to die? 454 00:29:55,224 --> 00:29:57,309 Stick a needle in my eye! 455 00:29:58,852 --> 00:30:00,520 Congratulations. 456 00:30:06,067 --> 00:30:08,319 Are you sure, man? Are we sure it's over? 457 00:30:08,570 --> 00:30:09,654 Honey... 458 00:30:09,904 --> 00:30:13,866 ...it's the President. He's on national TV. 459 00:30:14,075 --> 00:30:18,245 If he says the war is over, I think you can believe him. 460 00:30:19,622 --> 00:30:20,789 Sweetie. 461 00:30:21,082 --> 00:30:23,959 At 12.:30 Paris-time today... 462 00:30:24,210 --> 00:30:27,629 ...January 23, 1973.... 463 00:30:28,672 --> 00:30:30,256 What's going on? 464 00:30:32,092 --> 00:30:33,801 I'm gonna live. 465 00:30:34,261 --> 00:30:37,222 They're pulling everybody out of Vietnam. The war's over. 466 00:30:38,181 --> 00:30:39,724 I don't believe it. 467 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:41,809 She's bumming... 468 00:30:42,019 --> 00:30:45,355 ...because her dreams of being an only child are dashed. 469 00:30:45,772 --> 00:30:47,440 Larry, stop it. 470 00:30:49,109 --> 00:30:50,693 I'm not supposed to tell you this. 471 00:30:51,528 --> 00:30:55,239 But Arlene and I are the ones who asked the President to stop the war. 472 00:30:55,990 --> 00:30:58,200 We did it because we felt sorry for you. 473 00:30:59,202 --> 00:31:00,828 You should be thanking me. 474 00:31:03,205 --> 00:31:04,998 I just want you to know... 475 00:31:05,249 --> 00:31:07,751 ...whatever she's on, I didn't give it to her. 476 00:31:10,462 --> 00:31:13,131 Well, all right. Grooving right along. 477 00:31:13,549 --> 00:31:17,260 Betsy Jobs, your turn to come on up and express yourself. 478 00:31:25,435 --> 00:31:26,936 Current events. 479 00:31:29,439 --> 00:31:33,484 I probably shouldn't be telling you this because of national security... 480 00:31:34,694 --> 00:31:36,028 ...but what the heck. 481 00:31:36,446 --> 00:31:38,698 Arlene Lorenzo and l... 482 00:31:39,323 --> 00:31:42,033 ...are Secret Youth Advisers for President Nixon. 483 00:31:42,618 --> 00:31:45,787 "--in addition to being the official White House dog walkers. 484 00:31:46,038 --> 00:31:48,623 It's fun being a Secret Youth Adviser. 485 00:31:48,916 --> 00:31:51,543 The President trusts us with national issues." 486 00:31:51,794 --> 00:31:54,171 We bake him cookies called Hello Dollies... 487 00:31:54,421 --> 00:31:56,589 ...that he loves and are easy to make. 488 00:31:56,882 --> 00:32:00,593 You get graham cracker crumbs, sweetened condensed milk... 489 00:32:00,844 --> 00:32:03,388 ...and all this other stuff, and you bake them. 490 00:32:03,638 --> 00:32:05,806 But they're really good. 491 00:32:06,057 --> 00:32:08,767 " I like being a Secret Youth Adviser to the President... 492 00:32:09,019 --> 00:32:12,480 ...because it means I am helping to run the country. The end." 493 00:32:15,108 --> 00:32:17,401 How dare you... 494 00:32:17,735 --> 00:32:20,070 ...come up in front of the class... 495 00:32:20,530 --> 00:32:23,949 ...and make up lies about our President? 496 00:32:24,408 --> 00:32:27,035 Absolutely wild. 497 00:32:27,661 --> 00:32:32,248 And I really dug the way you used fantasy... 498 00:32:32,458 --> 00:32:33,458 ...current events... 499 00:32:33,709 --> 00:32:38,129 ...and cooking in a kind of tapestry of storytelling. 500 00:32:38,589 --> 00:32:39,881 Thank you, Betsy. 501 00:32:40,132 --> 00:32:43,051 That was real special. Thank you. Give her a hand. 502 00:32:43,343 --> 00:32:44,802 Thank you. Thanks. 503 00:32:50,892 --> 00:32:52,393 Got the cookies? 504 00:33:05,239 --> 00:33:07,407 I've been dreaming about these. 505 00:33:12,663 --> 00:33:13,663 What's that mean? 506 00:33:14,748 --> 00:33:15,748 Peace. 507 00:33:16,583 --> 00:33:17,542 Good. 508 00:33:18,085 --> 00:33:19,544 I mean... 509 00:33:20,045 --> 00:33:21,212 ...groovy. 510 00:33:24,049 --> 00:33:25,175 Come on, Checkers. 511 00:34:38,245 --> 00:34:40,789 There's something different about you. 512 00:34:41,498 --> 00:34:43,416 Why aren't you wearing your glasses? 513 00:34:43,667 --> 00:34:45,627 Because I got contact lenses. 514 00:34:51,675 --> 00:34:53,676 -Looks cool! -Thanks! 515 00:34:54,677 --> 00:34:55,552 Hi, Rose. 516 00:34:55,804 --> 00:34:58,473 It is imperative that we put a freeze... 517 00:34:58,723 --> 00:35:01,684 ...on nuclear weapons of mass destruction. 518 00:35:03,936 --> 00:35:06,938 Yeah, I know what nyet, nyet means. 519 00:35:07,607 --> 00:35:09,650 Excuse me a moment, Leonid. 520 00:35:12,611 --> 00:35:14,612 Settle down, Checkers. 521 00:35:15,364 --> 00:35:17,199 Hello, girls. How are you? 522 00:35:17,449 --> 00:35:19,409 Are these what I think they are? 523 00:35:21,370 --> 00:35:22,287 Nice to see you. 524 00:35:24,373 --> 00:35:27,209 You gotta try one of these cookies. 525 00:35:27,626 --> 00:35:32,046 I assure you, there's nothing like them in all the Soviet Union. 526 00:35:32,922 --> 00:35:34,131 Go ahead. 527 00:35:37,177 --> 00:35:39,220 They're called Hello Dollies. 528 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:46,727 What are they? 529 00:35:48,354 --> 00:35:50,105 What do you think, Leonid? 530 00:35:53,192 --> 00:35:54,693 Hello Dollies, eh? 531 00:35:59,490 --> 00:36:01,867 Hello, Dolly 532 00:36:02,159 --> 00:36:05,203 Well, hello, Dolly 533 00:36:05,454 --> 00:36:10,000 It's so nice to have you back Where you belong 534 00:36:12,210 --> 00:36:13,377 Sing something. 535 00:36:13,628 --> 00:36:17,548 You're looking swell, Dolly I can tell, Dolly 536 00:36:18,466 --> 00:36:22,553 You're still glowing You're still growing 537 00:36:22,804 --> 00:36:25,890 You're still going strong 538 00:36:29,977 --> 00:36:30,936 You know, girls... 539 00:36:31,187 --> 00:36:33,981 ...l think your cookies have just saved the world... 540 00:36:34,231 --> 00:36:36,608 ...from nuclear catastrophe. 541 00:36:39,945 --> 00:36:42,363 There you go, Leonid. Hello, Dolly. 542 00:36:42,906 --> 00:36:46,117 Golly gee, fellas 543 00:36:46,368 --> 00:36:49,913 I'll have another of those 544 00:37:36,041 --> 00:37:38,168 Come away with me. 545 00:37:39,002 --> 00:37:40,711 But what about Pat? 546 00:37:41,045 --> 00:37:42,963 She understands. 547 00:39:14,802 --> 00:39:16,136 Arlene, watch out! 548 00:39:20,474 --> 00:39:22,601 Oh, my God! Are you all right? 549 00:39:22,976 --> 00:39:25,353 Quick, tell me what your name is! 550 00:39:26,188 --> 00:39:27,981 Rhoda Morgenstern. 551 00:39:30,525 --> 00:39:32,610 I am so embarrassed. 552 00:39:33,278 --> 00:39:36,155 -I don't think anyone saw. -Freak! 553 00:39:46,874 --> 00:39:49,167 Has something been on your mind lately? 554 00:39:52,046 --> 00:39:54,006 There isn't some deep feeling... 555 00:39:54,256 --> 00:39:57,050 ...you need to confess to your best and only friend? 556 00:39:57,301 --> 00:39:58,510 What are you talking about? 557 00:39:58,761 --> 00:40:00,470 -Just say it! -Say what? 558 00:40:00,721 --> 00:40:02,556 Just say it, because I already know! 559 00:40:02,806 --> 00:40:04,891 All right, I love Dick! 560 00:40:13,817 --> 00:40:17,362 This is everything about him and us since we first met. 561 00:40:19,656 --> 00:40:21,532 Here's me as his wife. 562 00:40:21,950 --> 00:40:24,368 -It looks so real. -Thank you. 563 00:40:26,788 --> 00:40:29,749 -This is cartoon Dick. -It's cute. I like that one. 564 00:40:30,833 --> 00:40:32,960 This is our White House souvenir. 565 00:40:33,961 --> 00:40:36,379 Look, I found these old magazine clippings... 566 00:40:36,630 --> 00:40:38,840 ...with stuff about him when he was young. 567 00:40:39,216 --> 00:40:40,300 Look. 568 00:40:41,176 --> 00:40:43,845 He's way more distinguished now. 569 00:40:45,639 --> 00:40:49,559 A jury today convicted G. Gordon Liddy and James McCord... 570 00:40:49,810 --> 00:40:53,521 ... of eight counts, including burglary, in the Watergate break-in. 571 00:40:53,772 --> 00:40:56,816 Enough already. I am sick of Watergate. 572 00:40:57,067 --> 00:40:59,194 And I am sick of Woodward and Bernstein. 573 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:01,154 Who are they? 574 00:41:01,362 --> 00:41:03,322 Snot-nosed Washington Post reporters... 575 00:41:03,573 --> 00:41:05,825 ...who are trying to disgrace the President. 576 00:41:06,075 --> 00:41:07,701 Anybody want some more Jell-O? 577 00:41:07,994 --> 00:41:09,245 Yes, please. Here. 578 00:41:09,912 --> 00:41:10,829 Betsy, look. 579 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:12,581 One more question, Mr. Liddy. 580 00:41:13,207 --> 00:41:17,210 -The White House denied involvement. -He's so familiar. 581 00:41:18,254 --> 00:41:19,838 It's that weird guy! 582 00:41:20,464 --> 00:41:23,174 -What was he doing at the White House? -I don't know. 583 00:41:24,885 --> 00:41:26,469 Done! We're going upstairs. 584 00:41:27,012 --> 00:41:29,639 A spokesman for the administration once again... 585 00:41:29,890 --> 00:41:33,184 ... denied any participation in the Watergate burglary. 586 00:41:33,435 --> 00:41:37,021 President Nixon is said to be in seclusion with advisers. 587 00:41:39,399 --> 00:41:41,067 It's starting. 588 00:41:47,115 --> 00:41:48,699 Goddamn it! 589 00:41:53,371 --> 00:41:55,206 Mr. President, this is Arlene. 590 00:41:57,708 --> 00:42:00,460 -Hello, Arlene. -I'm not waking you, am l? 591 00:42:00,794 --> 00:42:02,587 I'm a night owl. 592 00:42:03,297 --> 00:42:05,257 What's the deal with that Watergate thing? 593 00:42:05,507 --> 00:42:07,342 Do you know anything about it? 594 00:42:10,262 --> 00:42:13,640 No, no, absolutely nothing. I don't know a thing. 595 00:42:13,890 --> 00:42:15,766 No way, Jos�! 596 00:42:16,017 --> 00:42:17,810 Because I live in the Watergate... 597 00:42:18,144 --> 00:42:21,480 ...and one time we saw that Liddy guy there... 598 00:42:21,773 --> 00:42:25,860 ...then we saw him at the White House, and now he's gonna go to jail. 599 00:42:29,530 --> 00:42:31,948 Is there something I can do for you... 600 00:42:32,199 --> 00:42:33,783 ... or your family? 601 00:42:35,286 --> 00:42:38,163 There must be something you desire. 602 00:42:40,541 --> 00:42:42,376 I have to go now. Good night. 603 00:42:45,129 --> 00:42:46,755 My sweet prince. 604 00:42:47,005 --> 00:42:48,589 I think he's a vampire. 605 00:42:49,216 --> 00:42:51,593 But he doesn't even have a tuxedo. 606 00:42:52,177 --> 00:42:54,846 Oh, Myrna, you are something. 607 00:42:55,096 --> 00:42:56,889 You are really something. 608 00:43:03,021 --> 00:43:05,773 Pat, will you stop snoring, goddamn it! 609 00:43:06,024 --> 00:43:08,401 My head is about to explode! 610 00:43:10,653 --> 00:43:12,613 So you're the President's lawyer? 611 00:43:17,368 --> 00:43:19,453 Why does the President need a lawyer? 612 00:43:23,207 --> 00:43:25,751 Good question. I just.... 613 00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:28,754 I don't know. 614 00:43:33,216 --> 00:43:35,259 -It's you two. -Mr. President. 615 00:43:35,510 --> 00:43:38,804 The Attorney General is waiting upstairs, sir. 616 00:43:39,055 --> 00:43:40,097 Didn't I fire him? 617 00:43:40,348 --> 00:43:41,724 It's the new one, sir. 618 00:43:52,985 --> 00:43:55,487 -We're here to walk Checkers. -Oh, my goodness! 619 00:43:55,738 --> 00:44:00,325 I'm so busy that I sometimes forget about the rest of God's creatures. 620 00:44:02,077 --> 00:44:04,871 Here. I'll be back after lunch. 621 00:44:18,551 --> 00:44:19,760 Look. 622 00:44:20,011 --> 00:44:22,138 We should leave a message for Dick. 623 00:44:22,430 --> 00:44:23,764 Like what? 624 00:44:29,437 --> 00:44:32,147 I think it's time you told him how you feel. 625 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:35,484 I can't. 626 00:44:35,735 --> 00:44:38,988 Maybe he loves you too, but he doesn't think you're interested. 627 00:44:42,783 --> 00:44:44,910 If you care for him at all... 628 00:44:45,577 --> 00:44:46,995 ...you'll tell him. 629 00:44:50,457 --> 00:44:52,709 Okay, you just have to go first. 630 00:45:02,218 --> 00:45:03,510 Hi, Mr. President! 631 00:45:03,845 --> 00:45:05,721 This is Betsy and Arlene. 632 00:45:05,930 --> 00:45:10,142 We wanted to thank you for letting us be your Secret Youth Advisers... 633 00:45:10,476 --> 00:45:13,729 ...and for letting us walk Checkers... 634 00:45:13,938 --> 00:45:15,230 ...and for.... 635 00:45:17,983 --> 00:45:18,858 Well.... 636 00:45:19,151 --> 00:45:21,569 I don't know what else for, so here's Arlene. 637 00:45:21,820 --> 00:45:24,947 She has something very personal to tell you. 638 00:45:27,493 --> 00:45:28,827 I love you. 639 00:45:33,540 --> 00:45:36,751 I know that you have a lot of things on your mind... 640 00:45:37,002 --> 00:45:39,212 ...because you're the President and all. 641 00:45:41,881 --> 00:45:44,675 But I can't keep my feelings inside any longer. 642 00:45:45,009 --> 00:45:47,094 I've never felt this way about anyone... 643 00:45:47,345 --> 00:45:49,555 ...not even about Bobby Sherman, who I adore... 644 00:45:49,806 --> 00:45:52,808 ...but now I realize that that was just puppy love... 645 00:45:53,309 --> 00:45:54,643 ...and this is the real thing. 646 00:45:54,894 --> 00:45:56,687 Hey, Checkers. Hi, sweetie. 647 00:45:56,937 --> 00:46:00,607 I realize you're married and that we can never really be together... 648 00:46:00,983 --> 00:46:02,275 ...but I'll love you forever. 649 00:46:02,526 --> 00:46:04,027 Good boy. 650 00:46:05,654 --> 00:46:06,780 Poo-poo. 651 00:46:07,614 --> 00:46:10,283 There's this song by Olivia Newton-John... 652 00:46:10,742 --> 00:46:13,786 ...that I think best describes the way I feel about you. 653 00:46:15,122 --> 00:46:16,873 It goes like this: 654 00:46:18,667 --> 00:46:20,668 I love you 655 00:46:21,503 --> 00:46:23,921 I honestly love you 656 00:46:25,423 --> 00:46:28,300 You don't have to answer 657 00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:31,762 I could see it in your eyes 658 00:46:32,221 --> 00:46:34,598 But it's coming from my heart 659 00:46:34,849 --> 00:46:38,560 And not my head 660 00:46:40,020 --> 00:46:43,147 And then there was that time... 661 00:46:43,566 --> 00:46:45,776 ...when you put your hand on my shoulder... 662 00:46:46,527 --> 00:46:50,530 ...and I got this warm, tingly feeling inside. 663 00:46:50,989 --> 00:46:54,200 And I knew, right then, at that moment-- 664 00:46:54,451 --> 00:46:56,160 They'll be back soon. 665 00:46:56,411 --> 00:46:58,829 You've been on for 1 8 1 l2 minutes. 666 00:47:00,415 --> 00:47:02,333 I have to go now. Goodbye. 667 00:47:02,792 --> 00:47:04,668 I can't believe you were talking that whole time. 668 00:47:04,919 --> 00:47:06,503 What did you say? 669 00:47:07,547 --> 00:47:08,589 Stuff. 670 00:47:09,090 --> 00:47:10,424 It's personal. 671 00:47:10,675 --> 00:47:12,426 I want to make sure it recorded. 672 00:47:15,763 --> 00:47:18,473 Hunt's link to Colson is a problem. 673 00:47:18,724 --> 00:47:20,433 I must've pushed fast-forward. 674 00:47:24,563 --> 00:47:27,524 We can arrange for Hunt to disappear in Latin America. 675 00:47:27,775 --> 00:47:31,320 And we could always un-disappear him if we want to. 676 00:47:35,699 --> 00:47:37,492 Get down off of me, Checkers. 677 00:47:37,701 --> 00:47:40,036 Get down off of me, you piece of shit! 678 00:47:42,914 --> 00:47:47,334 So let me tell you something. We are going to use any means. 679 00:47:52,173 --> 00:47:55,509 I just don't want this whole fucking Watergate business... 680 00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:56,886 ...biting me in the ass! 681 00:47:57,136 --> 00:48:00,013 You know the goddamn Jews are out to get me! 682 00:48:05,728 --> 00:48:07,771 I don't think the President of the U.S.... 683 00:48:08,022 --> 00:48:10,774 ...should be recording conversations like that. 684 00:48:16,488 --> 00:48:17,447 Make it 8:30. 685 00:48:17,697 --> 00:48:18,948 Okay, will do. 686 00:48:20,325 --> 00:48:21,451 Girls... 687 00:48:21,701 --> 00:48:23,577 ...did Checkers do his business? 688 00:48:25,622 --> 00:48:27,165 -Excellent. -Good, good. 689 00:48:27,415 --> 00:48:30,584 I hope you left me some of those yummy cookies. 690 00:48:31,169 --> 00:48:32,378 Take care. 691 00:48:34,338 --> 00:48:36,006 We have to go. 692 00:48:38,426 --> 00:48:39,802 Oh, my stars! 693 00:48:54,691 --> 00:48:56,400 Sounds very important. 694 00:48:58,028 --> 00:48:59,279 It is. 695 00:49:00,989 --> 00:49:02,448 Mr. President? 696 00:49:03,283 --> 00:49:04,283 What is it, Bob? 697 00:49:04,534 --> 00:49:07,161 I was wondering if you had that package ready for me... 698 00:49:07,412 --> 00:49:09,330 ...to take home over the weekend? 699 00:49:10,456 --> 00:49:12,791 Yeah, the musical tapes. 700 00:49:14,877 --> 00:49:18,505 Bob and I are very big fans of Guy Lombardo. 701 00:49:19,674 --> 00:49:21,467 I taped them myself. 702 00:49:21,926 --> 00:49:23,052 Let me know what you think. 703 00:49:23,302 --> 00:49:24,428 I will, sir. 704 00:49:29,183 --> 00:49:30,851 You were saying, Arlene? 705 00:49:32,644 --> 00:49:35,396 We don't think you've been completely honest with us. 706 00:49:35,689 --> 00:49:39,776 If this is about that Watergate nonsense... 707 00:49:40,235 --> 00:49:41,778 ...let me say once again... 708 00:49:42,028 --> 00:49:44,446 ...l had nothing to do with it, okay? 709 00:49:44,823 --> 00:49:48,284 It's a plot created by my enemies to disgrace me! 710 00:49:48,535 --> 00:49:52,955 Those radical, muckraking bastards, Woodward and Bernstein... 711 00:49:53,206 --> 00:49:54,457 ...at The Washington Post! 712 00:49:54,707 --> 00:49:56,625 They're the liars here, you know! 713 00:49:56,959 --> 00:50:00,003 Always hiding behind the goddamn First Amendment! 714 00:50:00,338 --> 00:50:01,839 Let me tell you something! 715 00:50:02,131 --> 00:50:05,217 It won't protect them from me! 716 00:50:07,720 --> 00:50:10,430 Actually, it was just about the dog. 717 00:50:10,681 --> 00:50:13,058 You act like you like him... 718 00:50:13,267 --> 00:50:14,851 ...but we don't think you do. 719 00:50:16,311 --> 00:50:17,603 What dog? 720 00:50:20,482 --> 00:50:24,152 Now that you mention it, people are talking about Watergate... 721 00:50:24,361 --> 00:50:25,737 ...and they say you lied. 722 00:50:25,987 --> 00:50:27,988 And I'm Jewish. 723 00:50:28,364 --> 00:50:29,698 I know. 724 00:50:30,742 --> 00:50:32,368 I had you checked out. 725 00:50:35,204 --> 00:50:38,749 There's probably more in there than you know about yourselves. 726 00:50:41,085 --> 00:50:42,544 Even grades? 727 00:50:42,878 --> 00:50:44,337 Grades... 728 00:50:44,755 --> 00:50:47,591 ...your parents' income tax returns... 729 00:50:48,425 --> 00:50:51,094 ...overdue library books. 730 00:50:51,345 --> 00:50:53,763 The whole kit and caboodle. 731 00:50:56,683 --> 00:50:59,143 Is there stuff about my father in there? 732 00:51:00,687 --> 00:51:01,521 Who was he? 733 00:51:01,771 --> 00:51:05,774 A lady's shoe salesman at Garfinkle's or some such place. 734 00:51:06,026 --> 00:51:09,070 Got hit by a garbage truck at the age of 24. 735 00:51:09,946 --> 00:51:12,239 Your mom never said it was a garbage truck. 736 00:51:12,490 --> 00:51:15,492 Strictly small time. Never amounted to much. 737 00:51:19,789 --> 00:51:21,832 Well, at least he wasn't a liar. 738 00:51:23,334 --> 00:51:25,043 We heard that tape! 739 00:51:25,336 --> 00:51:27,588 -What'd you hear? -You kick Checkers! 740 00:51:27,796 --> 00:51:30,923 And you're prejudiced, and you have a potty-mouth! 741 00:51:31,133 --> 00:51:33,385 You're a bad man! 742 00:51:33,635 --> 00:51:36,179 You stinking little idiots, get out of here! 743 00:51:36,430 --> 00:51:38,598 And don't ever come back here again! 744 00:51:40,767 --> 00:51:43,019 You don't mess with the big boys! 745 00:51:47,565 --> 00:51:48,565 Wait! 746 00:51:50,485 --> 00:51:52,903 I would like to apologize for his actions. 747 00:51:53,154 --> 00:51:55,072 He's been under a lot of stress lately. 748 00:51:55,323 --> 00:51:58,701 It's too late. We're not friends with him anymore, period! 749 00:51:58,951 --> 00:52:02,204 And if you stay, you're just as bad as he is. 750 00:52:19,930 --> 00:52:21,139 Wait! 751 00:52:22,057 --> 00:52:24,058 It's gonna be okay. 752 00:52:24,267 --> 00:52:25,685 I hate Dick! 753 00:52:28,188 --> 00:52:30,523 It was stupid of me to fall in love with Dick. 754 00:52:30,773 --> 00:52:32,316 What was I thinking? 755 00:52:32,984 --> 00:52:35,486 Dick just disgusts me now. 756 00:52:36,654 --> 00:52:38,155 You know, Arlene... 757 00:52:39,407 --> 00:52:41,200 ...Dick meant a lot to me too. 758 00:52:41,450 --> 00:52:42,742 But I've been thinking... 759 00:52:43,077 --> 00:52:45,329 ...you can't let Dick run your life! 760 00:52:49,959 --> 00:52:51,543 Do you mind? 761 00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:54,838 We're having a personal conversation. 762 00:53:40,048 --> 00:53:41,132 What happened? 763 00:53:41,383 --> 00:53:44,594 Larry wasn't at Jake's house. Larry was at a porno movie. 764 00:53:46,388 --> 00:53:47,847 Hi, Daddy! 765 00:53:49,808 --> 00:53:51,100 Hi, girls. 766 00:53:51,351 --> 00:53:52,185 Would you mind going upstairs for just a minute? 767 00:53:52,185 --> 00:53:53,894 Would you mind going upstairs for just a minute? 768 00:53:57,106 --> 00:53:59,900 I don't understand the title of that porno movie. 769 00:54:05,489 --> 00:54:06,907 " Deep throat" means... 770 00:54:07,158 --> 00:54:10,786 ...when the woman puts the man's penis in her mouth. 771 00:54:39,063 --> 00:54:40,606 Okay, what now? 772 00:54:42,984 --> 00:54:44,485 Prank phone calls? 773 00:54:45,653 --> 00:54:46,945 Okay, who? 774 00:54:49,073 --> 00:54:50,407 Miss Spinnler? 775 00:54:54,495 --> 00:54:55,871 Sean Freshman? 776 00:54:56,997 --> 00:54:59,207 No, we always do him. 777 00:55:03,378 --> 00:55:05,922 I know, I know! These guys! 778 00:55:07,382 --> 00:55:09,467 The " radical, muckraking bastards." 779 00:55:09,718 --> 00:55:11,052 Excusez-moi? 780 00:55:11,302 --> 00:55:14,805 These are the guys that are writing all that stuff about Watergate. 781 00:55:17,475 --> 00:55:19,518 And this one's kind of hunky. 782 00:55:19,769 --> 00:55:20,644 Gross. 783 00:55:21,604 --> 00:55:23,772 Well, you liked Dick. 784 00:55:29,778 --> 00:55:31,196 Washington Post. 785 00:55:31,989 --> 00:55:34,282 I'm the daughter of the British ambassador... 786 00:55:34,533 --> 00:55:38,536 ...and I have some very important information concerning Watergate... 787 00:55:38,787 --> 00:55:40,079 ...for your newspaper. 788 00:55:40,831 --> 00:55:42,165 One moment. 789 00:55:42,874 --> 00:55:44,333 I'm on hold! 790 00:55:49,422 --> 00:55:50,256 Woodward. 791 00:55:51,049 --> 00:55:52,175 I can't. I can't. 792 00:55:57,096 --> 00:55:58,305 Who's this? 793 00:55:58,723 --> 00:56:01,475 I just told you. Bob Woodward. 794 00:56:03,102 --> 00:56:03,977 Good. 795 00:56:04,645 --> 00:56:06,146 We know things. 796 00:56:06,397 --> 00:56:08,148 What kind of things? 797 00:56:09,650 --> 00:56:10,901 About Dick. 798 00:56:11,819 --> 00:56:13,153 I mean, the President. 799 00:56:14,822 --> 00:56:15,781 On the record? 800 00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:19,492 Can I use your name? 801 00:56:20,577 --> 00:56:22,537 They don't get that it's a joke! 802 00:56:22,871 --> 00:56:24,831 That just makes it funnier. 803 00:56:25,081 --> 00:56:28,000 Unless you go on the record or have documentation.... 804 00:56:30,879 --> 00:56:33,548 I have deadlines. This is The Washington Post. 805 00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,092 A documentation. Like a piece of paper. 806 00:56:37,802 --> 00:56:39,470 We have a piece of paper. 807 00:56:39,721 --> 00:56:43,849 Hold on. We have a list of creeps. We got it at the White House. 808 00:56:45,393 --> 00:56:46,936 A list of creeps? 809 00:56:47,770 --> 00:56:49,479 C-R-E-E-P. 810 00:56:52,024 --> 00:56:53,859 The Committee to Re-elect the President. 811 00:56:54,109 --> 00:56:58,780 It's to Haldeman. It has a list of names, amounts of money and dates. 812 00:57:00,365 --> 00:57:02,241 Go ahead. What do you have? 813 00:57:04,161 --> 00:57:07,122 It's Magruder, Barker, Brown.... 814 00:57:21,385 --> 00:57:22,803 Can I help you? 815 00:57:23,429 --> 00:57:25,389 -I'm cool. -I'm sorry, go ahead. 816 00:57:34,106 --> 00:57:35,565 Go away! 817 00:57:36,316 --> 00:57:37,316 Right. 818 00:57:37,568 --> 00:57:40,195 You actually have this document in your possession? 819 00:57:40,445 --> 00:57:42,321 Yeah, it's sitting right here. 820 00:57:43,073 --> 00:57:45,033 But the only problem is that... 821 00:57:45,283 --> 00:57:50,037 ...we drew all over it, and I dropped my grilled cheese sandwich on it... 822 00:57:50,288 --> 00:57:51,914 ...so it's kind of rank. 823 00:57:52,165 --> 00:57:54,583 Benji, stop it. Get off! 824 00:57:55,919 --> 00:57:58,796 Are you insane? Or are your pants too tight? 825 00:57:59,297 --> 00:58:00,548 Who are you talking to? 826 00:58:00,798 --> 00:58:04,384 A source with proof that the Committee to Re-elect the President... 827 00:58:04,635 --> 00:58:06,219 ...paid off the Water-- 828 00:58:06,804 --> 00:58:08,972 Paid off the Watergate burglars. 829 00:58:09,223 --> 00:58:11,808 And the White House knows about it. 830 00:58:16,105 --> 00:58:18,315 You can't have that conversation on the phone! 831 00:58:18,565 --> 00:58:20,274 It's too dangerous! 832 00:58:20,525 --> 00:58:22,193 Arrange a meeting. 833 00:58:23,153 --> 00:58:24,571 Ow! That really hurt me. 834 00:58:24,821 --> 00:58:26,447 That really hurt me. 835 00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:29,284 Could I meet you? 836 00:58:29,618 --> 00:58:31,828 We've been too permissive with you, young man. 837 00:58:32,328 --> 00:58:35,038 From now on, we're watching you like a hawk. 838 00:58:35,790 --> 00:58:37,249 Not around here. 839 00:58:37,500 --> 00:58:39,710 Right, you're being watched. I understand. 840 00:58:41,546 --> 00:58:43,714 There is an underground parking garage... 841 00:58:43,714 --> 00:58:44,631 There is an underground parking garage... 842 00:58:46,133 --> 00:58:49,344 ...on A Street and York Avenue. 843 00:58:49,762 --> 00:58:50,929 Across from Garfinkle's. 844 00:58:51,180 --> 00:58:53,348 We can go shopping after we meet them. 845 00:58:54,433 --> 00:58:58,019 I can meet you there tomorrow at 9 p.m. 846 00:59:00,856 --> 00:59:01,856 How will I know you? 847 00:59:02,941 --> 00:59:05,234 That's for me to know and you to find out. 848 00:59:09,573 --> 00:59:10,949 What are you staring at? 849 00:59:11,199 --> 00:59:13,075 There's yelling. Are you in trouble? 850 00:59:15,954 --> 00:59:19,165 Give me a name, so when you call next, I'll know it's you. 851 00:59:22,794 --> 00:59:23,961 Deep Throat! 852 00:59:24,712 --> 00:59:25,796 Deep Throat! 853 00:59:27,089 --> 00:59:29,466 Carl Bernstein. Tell me your story. 854 00:59:29,717 --> 00:59:30,968 Up yours, man! 855 00:59:32,845 --> 00:59:35,639 Deep Throat! Come here, Deep Throat boy! 856 00:59:38,934 --> 00:59:40,185 They hung up. 857 00:59:40,435 --> 00:59:42,228 -What're you doing? -It's cool. 858 00:59:42,479 --> 00:59:44,188 -What are you doing? -Helping you out. 859 00:59:44,856 --> 00:59:46,565 I swear to God...! 860 00:59:50,737 --> 00:59:52,196 You're horny! 861 01:00:03,332 --> 01:00:05,500 All right, he's not here. Let's go. 862 01:00:12,091 --> 01:00:13,884 You're Deep Throat? 863 01:00:15,552 --> 01:00:17,011 We both are. 864 01:00:17,262 --> 01:00:18,596 How old are you? 865 01:00:19,681 --> 01:00:20,765 23. 866 01:00:21,016 --> 01:00:22,559 Is that your combined ages? 867 01:00:23,894 --> 01:00:25,770 There's no need to be snotty. 868 01:00:26,021 --> 01:00:29,190 I'm just trying to imagine here, what exactly... 869 01:00:29,441 --> 01:00:31,901 ...is your connection with the White House? 870 01:00:32,152 --> 01:00:34,445 We were the Secret Youth Advisers. 871 01:00:34,696 --> 01:00:38,115 And we walked the dog. And Arlene was in love with Dick. 872 01:00:38,366 --> 01:00:41,410 Okay, I don't need to hear any more of that, really. 873 01:00:43,621 --> 01:00:44,621 Were you followed? 874 01:00:51,504 --> 01:00:53,797 What are you doing here? 875 01:00:54,048 --> 01:00:55,757 I came to make sure you were all right. 876 01:00:56,008 --> 01:00:57,551 You did not! 877 01:00:57,801 --> 01:00:59,594 You're trying to horn in on my source. 878 01:00:59,845 --> 01:01:03,431 How come you get to meet Deep Throat? I'm the one who saw that movie. 879 01:01:04,808 --> 01:01:06,184 Hi, I'm Carl Bernstein. 880 01:01:06,435 --> 01:01:09,479 -You're supposed to check phone records. -It gave me a headache. 881 01:01:09,729 --> 01:01:11,397 -Stop whining. -I'm not whining. 882 01:01:11,648 --> 01:01:13,524 Yes, you are. You're whining. 883 01:01:13,775 --> 01:01:15,610 We've talked about this. 884 01:01:16,111 --> 01:01:17,862 Are you interested in the story or not? 885 01:01:25,661 --> 01:01:28,205 At first, we thought he was really nice. 886 01:01:28,456 --> 01:01:33,002 Then we heard him saying mean things about Jews and using foul language. 887 01:01:33,252 --> 01:01:34,753 We realized he was a jerk. 888 01:01:35,004 --> 01:01:36,296 A jerk. 889 01:01:36,547 --> 01:01:38,924 We could hear him kicking the dog on the tape. 890 01:01:39,174 --> 01:01:40,133 There's a tape? 891 01:01:40,384 --> 01:01:43,094 He records everything. It's in Rose Mary's desk. He's paranoid. 892 01:01:43,345 --> 01:01:45,013 What else did he say on this tape? 893 01:01:45,263 --> 01:01:46,806 They talked about hiding... 894 01:01:47,182 --> 01:01:50,893 ...some guy in South America because he knew about Watergate. 895 01:01:51,144 --> 01:01:54,855 Let me get this straight. You're saying the President of the United States-- 896 01:01:55,106 --> 01:01:57,107 -Of America. -Of America... 897 01:01:57,358 --> 01:02:01,028 ...the most powerful country in the world... 898 01:02:01,904 --> 01:02:04,281 ...is involved in this Watergate cover-up? 899 01:02:04,532 --> 01:02:05,658 -Yeah. -I guess. 900 01:02:05,992 --> 01:02:08,035 Who is he talking to on this tape? 901 01:02:09,287 --> 01:02:10,538 Erlichman? 902 01:02:11,330 --> 01:02:12,581 Hurlichman. 903 01:02:13,165 --> 01:02:15,792 -No, there isn't a Hurlichman. -Yes, there is. 904 01:02:16,043 --> 01:02:17,377 There's not a Hurlichman. 905 01:02:17,711 --> 01:02:20,547 There's a Haldeman. And there's an Erlichman. 906 01:02:21,048 --> 01:02:21,965 Wait, wait, wait. 907 01:02:22,216 --> 01:02:24,384 The guy who's, like, kind of fleshy... 908 01:02:24,635 --> 01:02:27,929 ...who wears horn-rimmed glasses and a cheesy dark suit. 909 01:02:28,221 --> 01:02:29,221 It sounded like him. 910 01:02:31,016 --> 01:02:32,559 Show me which one. 911 01:02:35,937 --> 01:02:38,481 I never realized how much they all look alike. 912 01:02:41,067 --> 01:02:44,904 The document you mentioned on the phone, it was written to Haldeman? 913 01:02:45,154 --> 01:02:47,823 If we publish that, we could nail him. 914 01:02:48,074 --> 01:02:50,117 Give me skin, Daddy. 915 01:02:53,245 --> 01:02:55,455 We don't really have it right now. 916 01:02:55,664 --> 01:02:56,498 What? 917 01:02:57,666 --> 01:02:59,250 The dog ate it. 918 01:02:59,626 --> 01:03:00,877 The dog ate it. 919 01:03:03,922 --> 01:03:07,592 Great. You know, I don't need this. I went to Yale. 920 01:03:09,010 --> 01:03:09,844 Sorry. 921 01:03:11,179 --> 01:03:13,514 We could've gotten grounded for sneaking out. 922 01:03:13,765 --> 01:03:15,641 If we could get that tape.... 923 01:03:15,892 --> 01:03:17,560 But it's in the White House. 924 01:03:17,811 --> 01:03:21,898 You know who else I think is sexy is Robert Plant, from Led Zeppelin. 925 01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:24,608 He reminds me of my brother. 926 01:03:30,406 --> 01:03:33,408 Your brother's not that bad. Not that I like him. 927 01:03:33,743 --> 01:03:36,370 I can't run this. You don't have it. 928 01:03:36,620 --> 01:03:37,746 What? 929 01:03:38,747 --> 01:03:42,542 I might be willing to take the risk on these other names... 930 01:03:42,793 --> 01:03:44,461 ...but not on Haldeman. My God! 931 01:03:44,711 --> 01:03:48,839 He's the man who controls access to the leader of the free world. 932 01:03:49,341 --> 01:03:50,842 There is another source. 933 01:03:51,092 --> 01:03:54,637 You mean, your what-do-you-call-it? 934 01:03:54,888 --> 01:03:55,722 Hand Job. 935 01:03:56,264 --> 01:03:57,431 Deep Throat. 936 01:03:57,682 --> 01:04:01,352 Yeah, Deep Throat. Well, tell me about Deep Throat. 937 01:04:01,686 --> 01:04:05,272 Well, " he" Iinks the President... 938 01:04:05,523 --> 01:04:06,440 ...to the burglary... 939 01:04:06,691 --> 01:04:08,400 ...and to a cover-up. 940 01:04:08,651 --> 01:04:09,777 Jesus! 941 01:04:10,653 --> 01:04:12,154 What branch is he in? 942 01:04:13,614 --> 01:04:14,948 Executive. 943 01:04:15,199 --> 01:04:16,450 How high? 944 01:04:16,700 --> 01:04:17,826 About yea high. 945 01:04:18,953 --> 01:04:20,537 Don't do this to me. 946 01:04:20,829 --> 01:04:23,498 Get some more sources on those names. 947 01:04:23,790 --> 01:04:27,460 Bring me in some hard evidence and nail it down. 948 01:04:28,170 --> 01:04:31,256 Some people think that Mick Jagger's lips are gross. 949 01:04:31,506 --> 01:04:33,299 But I think that they're sexy. 950 01:04:33,550 --> 01:04:36,469 They're like this big couch made out of skin. 951 01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:38,972 You're so hard rock now. 952 01:04:42,725 --> 01:04:43,642 What? 953 01:04:43,893 --> 01:04:47,646 That van's been right behind us since we left school. Don't look. 954 01:04:47,897 --> 01:04:49,189 I have to. 955 01:04:56,614 --> 01:04:58,282 -We're being followed. -By who? 956 01:04:58,532 --> 01:05:00,325 I don't know. Do you think it's Dick? 957 01:05:00,576 --> 01:05:04,121 Maybe he knows we talked to the " radical, muckraking bastards." 958 01:05:04,371 --> 01:05:05,872 He couldn't know. 959 01:05:06,123 --> 01:05:07,499 He could. 960 01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:11,836 Dick frightens me. 961 01:05:13,004 --> 01:05:14,422 Hello, this is Bob Woodward. 962 01:05:14,714 --> 01:05:16,549 And Carl Bernstein, Washington Post. 963 01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:20,803 Carl's on the other line. We have a few questions we'd like to ask you. 964 01:05:21,054 --> 01:05:22,722 Girls! Arlene, Betsy! 965 01:05:22,972 --> 01:05:24,181 We can't talk now. 966 01:05:24,432 --> 01:05:28,811 We need to know some names from that list you had. Do you remember any? 967 01:05:29,061 --> 01:05:31,313 We're under a lot of pressure too. 968 01:05:31,564 --> 01:05:34,149 It's okay. You don't have to name any names. 969 01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:35,859 -Don't answer. -We'll say names. 970 01:05:36,110 --> 01:05:39,613 We'll count to 1 0. If you don't hang up, that's a confirmation. 971 01:05:40,197 --> 01:05:41,323 What? 972 01:05:43,409 --> 01:05:45,327 I'm so sorry to interrupt you. 973 01:05:45,577 --> 01:05:47,453 -Go! -Just go with it! 974 01:05:49,665 --> 01:05:52,167 I asked you to come to dinner 1 5 minutes ago. 975 01:05:52,417 --> 01:05:54,085 Now your TV dinners are ice-cold. 976 01:05:54,336 --> 01:05:56,254 In fact, they're frozen again. 977 01:05:56,546 --> 01:05:58,005 McCord. 978 01:06:00,842 --> 01:06:01,676 Lang. 979 01:06:01,926 --> 01:06:05,637 So come to the table now, or I'll never fix you dinner again, ever! 980 01:06:05,888 --> 01:06:06,722 Seven... 981 01:06:06,931 --> 01:06:07,931 ...eight... 982 01:06:08,349 --> 01:06:09,183 ...nine... 983 01:06:09,559 --> 01:06:10,893 We'll be right there, Mom. 984 01:06:13,062 --> 01:06:13,896 ...ten. 985 01:06:14,438 --> 01:06:16,106 Thank you very much. 986 01:06:22,821 --> 01:06:24,239 They hung up. 987 01:06:26,617 --> 01:06:28,201 I'm sorry, Janet. 988 01:06:28,452 --> 01:06:29,494 You all right? 989 01:06:54,935 --> 01:06:57,103 You scared us to death! What's the matter? 990 01:06:57,354 --> 01:07:00,106 You little lying sacks of shit are the matter! 991 01:07:00,691 --> 01:07:01,525 Listen! 992 01:07:06,155 --> 01:07:09,866 You guys gave us bad information on the phone. 993 01:07:10,617 --> 01:07:12,452 The names on the list? 994 01:07:13,078 --> 01:07:16,205 We printed it, they denied it, and our other source backed out! 995 01:07:16,456 --> 01:07:19,250 Now everybody thinks that I'm a schmuck! 996 01:07:20,376 --> 01:07:21,502 What names? 997 01:07:21,753 --> 01:07:23,588 The names! The information! 998 01:07:23,838 --> 01:07:25,881 Listen, people are counting on you! 999 01:07:26,215 --> 01:07:30,302 You're big-shot reporters. Can't you figure anything out for yourselves? 1000 01:07:30,553 --> 01:07:33,097 How could you let your dog eat that list? 1001 01:07:33,347 --> 01:07:34,890 You're ruining my life! 1002 01:07:37,643 --> 01:07:41,605 We have a very important report on turquoise jewelry due in two days... 1003 01:07:41,855 --> 01:07:44,899 ...and we can't find books on it, and the President is having us followed. 1004 01:07:45,150 --> 01:07:48,611 -It's too much pressure. -Just leave us alone! 1005 01:08:05,920 --> 01:08:07,338 I'm in here, dear. 1006 01:08:07,588 --> 01:08:09,589 How come you're home so early? 1007 01:08:09,841 --> 01:08:11,050 Honey... 1008 01:08:12,093 --> 01:08:13,719 ...l've met someone. 1009 01:08:14,261 --> 01:08:15,970 I've met someone. 1010 01:08:16,222 --> 01:08:17,348 Here he is. 1011 01:08:18,891 --> 01:08:20,392 Hello, Arlene. 1012 01:08:23,228 --> 01:08:24,520 How did you know my name? 1013 01:08:27,191 --> 01:08:28,817 It's embroidered on your blouse. 1014 01:08:43,873 --> 01:08:45,958 It's really so funny how we met. 1015 01:08:46,209 --> 01:08:51,005 I was in the market at lunch and we literally just crashed into each other. 1016 01:08:51,255 --> 01:08:56,009 I said, " Excuse me, your peanut butter is in my chocolate." 1017 01:08:58,596 --> 01:09:02,391 And I said, "Your chocolate is in my peanut butter." 1018 01:09:05,018 --> 01:09:06,978 We haven't been separated since then. 1019 01:09:07,229 --> 01:09:10,065 Well, until I used the bathroom just now. 1020 01:09:13,402 --> 01:09:16,154 Roderick, you're such a treasure. 1021 01:09:23,203 --> 01:09:25,455 Honey, did you leave the door open? 1022 01:09:35,881 --> 01:09:37,340 We've been robbed. 1023 01:09:40,886 --> 01:09:43,013 My grandmother's pearls! 1024 01:09:43,973 --> 01:09:45,432 My stash! 1025 01:09:50,437 --> 01:09:53,648 Are you absolutely positive nothing is missing? 1026 01:09:55,025 --> 01:09:56,943 I don't understand it at all. 1027 01:09:57,194 --> 01:10:01,698 My jewelry case wasn't touched, but they ripped apart the sofa cushions. 1028 01:10:01,948 --> 01:10:03,282 I need a drink. 1029 01:10:03,533 --> 01:10:06,660 Maybe they just didn't like my wife's taste in decorating. 1030 01:10:09,455 --> 01:10:12,582 If I didn't know better, I'd say someone was looking for something. 1031 01:10:12,834 --> 01:10:16,337 -I can't imagine what. -We're just a normal family. 1032 01:10:16,587 --> 01:10:18,630 Okay, I wouldn't go that far. 1033 01:10:25,721 --> 01:10:28,014 They only stole the Hello Dollies recipe. 1034 01:10:28,265 --> 01:10:31,351 Not jewelry or the TV or Larry's pot or anything. 1035 01:10:31,602 --> 01:10:33,145 It's too much of a coincidence. 1036 01:10:33,395 --> 01:10:36,814 Your house gets robbed, and my mom gets a boyfriend the same night? 1037 01:10:37,357 --> 01:10:38,608 Why don't you like him? 1038 01:10:38,858 --> 01:10:42,903 Because I think he's a spy for Dick. No guy like that would go for my mom. 1039 01:11:31,409 --> 01:11:34,036 I'll buzz you up so that my mom doesn't hear. 1040 01:11:40,292 --> 01:11:40,709 Betsy, what're you doing? 1041 01:11:40,709 --> 01:11:42,210 Betsy, what're you doing? 1042 01:11:43,337 --> 01:11:45,297 -We're being bugged! -What? 1043 01:11:45,798 --> 01:11:48,967 The President of the United States is bugging our houses... 1044 01:11:49,218 --> 01:11:51,011 ...and spying on us! 1045 01:11:52,512 --> 01:11:54,221 What did you just say? 1046 01:11:57,934 --> 01:11:59,810 It's a line from a song. 1047 01:12:00,061 --> 01:12:02,062 We're being bugged 1048 01:12:02,647 --> 01:12:03,522 The White House 1049 01:12:06,067 --> 01:12:09,737 There's a man from The Washington Post on the phone for you. 1050 01:12:15,910 --> 01:12:18,037 It's Carl Bernstein from The Post. 1051 01:12:18,287 --> 01:12:19,621 The information you gave-- 1052 01:12:20,539 --> 01:12:22,916 We're not interested in a subscription. 1053 01:12:23,167 --> 01:12:24,042 Thanks, no. 1054 01:12:24,668 --> 01:12:27,462 No, we prefer the news on TV. Thank you. 1055 01:12:28,756 --> 01:12:31,049 I thought we already got The Post. 1056 01:12:32,426 --> 01:12:35,512 You know, there is something very strange going on here. 1057 01:12:35,762 --> 01:12:36,804 I know there is. 1058 01:12:37,556 --> 01:12:40,058 And I don't want to know what it is. Okay? 1059 01:12:43,311 --> 01:12:46,272 And in all my years of public life, I can say... 1060 01:12:46,523 --> 01:12:50,360 ... that I have never, ever obstructedjustice. 1061 01:12:50,902 --> 01:12:52,611 This is all his fault. 1062 01:12:53,404 --> 01:12:56,490 The people have got to know... 1063 01:12:56,866 --> 01:12:59,618 ... whether or not their President is a crook. 1064 01:13:00,786 --> 01:13:02,120 Well... 1065 01:13:02,371 --> 01:13:03,413 ...l'm not a crook. 1066 01:13:03,664 --> 01:13:05,874 He's trying to drive me insane. 1067 01:13:17,385 --> 01:13:18,260 Oh, my God! 1068 01:13:18,512 --> 01:13:20,221 We have to get out of here! 1069 01:13:24,267 --> 01:13:26,227 -Oh, my God! -It's okay. 1070 01:13:37,613 --> 01:13:38,572 Go! 1071 01:13:49,208 --> 01:13:50,667 Oh, my God! 1072 01:14:06,516 --> 01:14:10,019 So these girls are a threat to national security? 1073 01:14:10,895 --> 01:14:12,896 According to the President. 1074 01:14:14,565 --> 01:14:18,068 How dare those people keep treating us like stupid teenage girls! 1075 01:14:18,402 --> 01:14:20,820 We are stupid teenage girls. 1076 01:14:21,072 --> 01:14:23,657 No, Betsy, we're human beings. 1077 01:14:23,908 --> 01:14:26,076 And we're American citizens. 1078 01:14:26,535 --> 01:14:30,080 And fourscore and seven years ago, our forefathers... 1079 01:14:30,747 --> 01:14:32,540 ...did something. I don't know what. 1080 01:14:32,916 --> 01:14:36,085 But I do know one thing: Dick's ass is grass. 1081 01:14:36,336 --> 01:14:38,963 Where are we going? What are we doing? 1082 01:14:39,214 --> 01:14:42,008 If Haldeman has the tapes that Woodward and Bernstein want... 1083 01:14:42,259 --> 01:14:43,968 ...we're gonna find them. 1084 01:14:45,220 --> 01:14:47,305 This is it. This is Haldeman's house. 1085 01:14:47,555 --> 01:14:48,764 21 70. 1086 01:14:54,520 --> 01:14:56,229 Look, there's somebody there. 1087 01:14:59,317 --> 01:15:01,110 Haldeman must have a son. 1088 01:15:01,360 --> 01:15:03,111 Wait, let me see. 1089 01:15:04,697 --> 01:15:05,531 We have a mission. 1090 01:15:05,781 --> 01:15:09,326 We have to figure out a way to get inside and find those tapes. 1091 01:15:11,120 --> 01:15:12,955 Don't worry, Arlene. 1092 01:15:13,455 --> 01:15:14,831 I'll do it. 1093 01:15:25,967 --> 01:15:27,009 Do you remember me? 1094 01:15:29,929 --> 01:15:31,305 Betsy, right. 1095 01:15:31,723 --> 01:15:33,141 From the Homecoming dance. 1096 01:15:33,766 --> 01:15:34,641 Right. 1097 01:15:47,279 --> 01:15:48,238 Want to make out? 1098 01:15:48,489 --> 01:15:49,406 Sure. 1099 01:16:17,433 --> 01:16:18,934 Are you all right? 1100 01:16:19,518 --> 01:16:20,518 Fine. 1101 01:16:21,979 --> 01:16:24,981 I need to go to the bathroom. Will you excuse me? 1102 01:17:34,424 --> 01:17:36,384 What's going on here? 1103 01:17:37,135 --> 01:17:38,469 Beer bong? 1104 01:17:39,929 --> 01:17:42,264 I'm tripping heavily already. 1105 01:17:59,906 --> 01:18:01,115 You know.... 1106 01:18:04,077 --> 01:18:05,745 I really like you. 1107 01:18:06,788 --> 01:18:08,247 Don't talk to me. 1108 01:18:09,249 --> 01:18:10,291 Kiss me. 1109 01:18:47,911 --> 01:18:49,329 Anybody home? 1110 01:18:58,379 --> 01:19:00,506 Oh, my God, it's so terrible. 1111 01:19:00,798 --> 01:19:02,925 -Dean's leaving. -Jesus! 1112 01:19:04,593 --> 01:19:05,927 He's leaving, all right. 1113 01:19:06,178 --> 01:19:09,639 Dean's a team player. He's not gonna cave in like that. 1114 01:19:09,974 --> 01:19:12,101 No, I just don't believe it. 1115 01:19:12,351 --> 01:19:14,811 You better! It'll be in the paper tomorrow. 1116 01:19:15,062 --> 01:19:17,606 I talked to Dean, and he said it was true. 1117 01:19:17,856 --> 01:19:21,734 It's happening. It's happening. It's real, man. 1118 01:19:22,235 --> 01:19:24,820 Well, I guess... 1119 01:19:25,280 --> 01:19:27,031 ...the shit's hitting the fan now? 1120 01:19:27,282 --> 01:19:29,617 Damn right it's hitting the fan. 1121 01:19:35,248 --> 01:19:36,082 What's the matter? 1122 01:19:36,290 --> 01:19:38,417 Something's in my ass. 1123 01:19:41,504 --> 01:19:42,713 Am I bleeding? 1124 01:19:43,214 --> 01:19:44,548 You're fine. 1125 01:19:45,299 --> 01:19:49,010 Figures that the pain in my ass is Nixon, the fascist. 1126 01:19:49,929 --> 01:19:51,638 He's your dad's boss. 1127 01:19:52,348 --> 01:19:54,349 My dad's an arms manufacturer. 1128 01:19:55,017 --> 01:19:56,643 Aren't you Haldeman's son? 1129 01:19:57,227 --> 01:19:58,728 No. That's Brad. 1130 01:19:58,979 --> 01:20:00,647 I'm his roommate at school. 1131 01:20:00,897 --> 01:20:02,815 He's at the dermatologist. 1132 01:20:03,066 --> 01:20:04,567 But this is his house, right? 1133 01:20:05,860 --> 01:20:07,486 Yeah. What the hell's going on? 1134 01:20:07,737 --> 01:20:09,363 Did we meet before or not? 1135 01:20:10,907 --> 01:20:12,116 So you don't remember? 1136 01:20:12,575 --> 01:20:14,785 I remember like it was yesterday. 1137 01:20:16,287 --> 01:20:17,538 That's funny... 1138 01:20:18,247 --> 01:20:19,915 ...because we never met. 1139 01:20:21,083 --> 01:20:22,209 What? 1140 01:20:23,044 --> 01:20:26,338 I just saw you on the street and thought you were cute. 1141 01:20:26,797 --> 01:20:27,714 Really? 1142 01:20:34,346 --> 01:20:35,638 You're hot. 1143 01:20:35,889 --> 01:20:37,056 Thanks. 1144 01:20:38,809 --> 01:20:40,268 Liddy says... 1145 01:20:40,560 --> 01:20:42,103 ...that these prisons are.... 1146 01:20:42,562 --> 01:20:44,397 They're like Club Med... 1147 01:20:44,648 --> 01:20:46,149 ...just like Club Med. 1148 01:20:46,399 --> 01:20:47,441 Well, I have... 1149 01:20:47,901 --> 01:20:51,112 ...a particularly incriminating tape I brought home. 1150 01:20:51,362 --> 01:20:53,238 I should give that a listen. 1151 01:20:53,907 --> 01:20:56,576 Sure. Yeah, I'll say hi to the wife. 1152 01:20:56,826 --> 01:20:59,912 -Take care. -Okay. You take care too. 1153 01:21:20,807 --> 01:21:22,558 Sorry, Mr. Haldeman. 1154 01:21:23,185 --> 01:21:24,686 That's okay, Chip. 1155 01:21:25,270 --> 01:21:26,229 Who is this? 1156 01:21:26,479 --> 01:21:28,022 This is Betsy, sir. 1157 01:21:42,828 --> 01:21:43,954 Wait a minute. 1158 01:21:45,122 --> 01:21:46,289 I know you. 1159 01:21:47,166 --> 01:21:48,125 You're one of those dog-- 1160 01:21:52,546 --> 01:21:54,047 Shit! 1161 01:21:58,468 --> 01:22:00,177 Come back here, you little bitches! 1162 01:22:21,032 --> 01:22:22,116 It's not right. 1163 01:22:22,366 --> 01:22:24,284 Sources are sources. Just because-- 1164 01:22:24,535 --> 01:22:26,370 How goes it, paperboys? 1165 01:22:27,246 --> 01:22:28,372 Not too good. 1166 01:22:28,622 --> 01:22:30,373 Well, your luck's about to change. 1167 01:22:30,624 --> 01:22:34,919 The President knew about it for sure, for absolute sure. 1168 01:22:35,921 --> 01:22:36,880 That's the tape. 1169 01:22:37,131 --> 01:22:38,090 It's the tape. 1170 01:22:38,340 --> 01:22:40,383 We finally have goods on Dick. 1171 01:22:42,886 --> 01:22:44,512 Tricky Dick's going down. 1172 01:22:45,722 --> 01:22:50,309 It's unethical to take possession of the tape if it's stolen, but-- 1173 01:22:50,560 --> 01:22:53,479 You can't have it anyway. It's our only souvenir. 1174 01:22:54,689 --> 01:22:57,983 But we copied it down. Thirty words a minute. 1175 01:22:58,234 --> 01:22:59,610 I passed typing. 1176 01:23:00,778 --> 01:23:03,530 A lot of people want to know who our source is. 1177 01:23:03,781 --> 01:23:04,781 Really? 1178 01:23:05,199 --> 01:23:06,325 We'll be famous. 1179 01:23:06,575 --> 01:23:09,285 But we've decided never to reveal your identity. 1180 01:23:09,870 --> 01:23:11,204 For our own protection? 1181 01:23:14,249 --> 01:23:16,459 It's just too embarrassing. 1182 01:23:16,752 --> 01:23:18,545 Dick's going down. 1183 01:23:19,922 --> 01:23:21,965 Dick is going down! 1184 01:23:38,731 --> 01:23:40,858 In a series of events that rocked the nation... 1185 01:23:41,109 --> 01:23:43,152 ... the White House accepted the resignations... 1186 01:23:43,444 --> 01:23:46,321 ... of Presidential Counsel John Dean.... 1187 01:23:47,239 --> 01:23:52,160 I can't believe this Watergate business runs so high up. 1188 01:23:53,787 --> 01:23:56,247 You have no idea. 1189 01:23:57,249 --> 01:23:59,250 I realized one day... 1190 01:24:00,460 --> 01:24:02,336 ... that if I stayed... 1191 01:24:03,130 --> 01:24:06,383 ...l'd be just as bad as he was. 1192 01:24:37,162 --> 01:24:41,374 I'd say these people are gonna cost a million dollars... 1193 01:24:41,625 --> 01:24:43,168 ... over the next two years. 1194 01:24:44,628 --> 01:24:46,379 We can get that. 1195 01:24:46,671 --> 01:24:50,508 You can get a million dollars and you can get it in cash. 1196 01:24:50,759 --> 01:24:53,386 I know where it could be gotten. 1197 01:24:55,346 --> 01:24:56,263 I love you 1198 01:24:56,264 --> 01:24:56,806 I love you 1199 01:24:57,974 --> 01:25:00,226 I honestly love you 1200 01:25:01,686 --> 01:25:03,896 What in the bejesus is that? 1201 01:25:11,821 --> 01:25:14,657 I can't keep my feelings inside any longer. 1202 01:25:15,115 --> 01:25:17,075 I've never felt this way about anybody... 1203 01:25:17,326 --> 01:25:21,163 -...not even Bobby Sherman.... -A 1 5-year-old. 1204 01:25:21,538 --> 01:25:22,789 Oh, Jesus! 1205 01:25:23,040 --> 01:25:25,250 And that this is the real thing. 1206 01:25:26,585 --> 01:25:29,045 Watergate, my ass! 1207 01:25:29,421 --> 01:25:31,881 They'll crucify me if they hear this. 1208 01:25:32,340 --> 01:25:33,924 Checkers, shut up! 1209 01:25:34,384 --> 01:25:37,053 Or I'll feed you to the Chinese! 1210 01:25:37,679 --> 01:25:39,430 Erase this shit. 1211 01:25:43,309 --> 01:25:45,102 What's that smell? 1212 01:25:47,396 --> 01:25:49,147 Hello Dollies! 1213 01:25:49,398 --> 01:25:51,274 Where'd you get the recipe? It was stolen. 1214 01:25:51,692 --> 01:25:54,819 It's on the label of every can, lamebrain. 1215 01:25:55,529 --> 01:25:56,821 Except... 1216 01:25:57,281 --> 01:26:00,117 ...for one special Larry Jobs addition. 1217 01:26:03,245 --> 01:26:05,872 I keep them mixed up with the walnuts. 1218 01:26:08,416 --> 01:26:11,210 You said these were just walnut leaves. 1219 01:26:11,670 --> 01:26:12,879 I lied. 1220 01:26:13,338 --> 01:26:15,590 But the President ate those. 1221 01:26:15,924 --> 01:26:18,009 Right, your pal, Tricky Dick. 1222 01:26:18,259 --> 01:26:19,927 No, really. 1223 01:26:22,722 --> 01:26:25,432 Maybe that's why he's so paranoid. 1224 01:26:32,440 --> 01:26:33,357 It's happening. 1225 01:26:33,607 --> 01:26:35,525 -What? -Come on. 1226 01:26:38,404 --> 01:26:41,990 Throughout the long and difficult period of Watergate... 1227 01:26:42,574 --> 01:26:46,077 ...l have felt it was my duty to persevere... 1228 01:26:47,120 --> 01:26:50,498 ... to make every possible effort to complete the term of office... 1229 01:26:50,749 --> 01:26:52,667 ... to which you elected me. 1230 01:26:52,959 --> 01:26:54,627 But as President... 1231 01:26:55,420 --> 01:26:58,756 ...l must put the interest of America first. 1232 01:27:00,383 --> 01:27:01,634 Therefore... 1233 01:27:02,635 --> 01:27:05,345 ...l shall resign the Presidency... 1234 01:27:05,638 --> 01:27:08,223 ... effective at noon tomorrow. 1235 01:27:09,016 --> 01:27:11,893 Vice President Ford will be sworn in at that hour... 1236 01:27:12,144 --> 01:27:15,021 -It's gonna be different now. -... in this office. 1237 01:27:16,023 --> 01:27:17,649 They'll never lie to us again. 1238 01:27:17,650 --> 01:27:18,192 They'll never lie to us again. 1239 01:27:31,329 --> 01:27:34,039 Isn't it against the law to cut up the flag? 1240 01:27:35,000 --> 01:27:37,085 Not if you sew it back together. 1241 01:29:24,897 --> 01:29:28,150 We look so fantastic. 1242 01:29:41,162 --> 01:29:42,121 We gotta hurry! 1243 01:30:09,773 --> 01:30:10,690 Look! 1244 01:30:10,941 --> 01:30:13,318 You suck, Dick! 1245 01:30:21,826 --> 01:30:24,078 Bye, Tricky Dick!