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00:01:18,705 --> 00:01:20,075
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
2
00:01:20,165 --> 00:01:23,415
Mr. Severn Darden will do
a spot improvisation for you.
3
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,381
Okay, a little bit of history.
4
00:01:25,462 --> 00:01:30,012
In 1955, a group of actors
in Chicago invented the idea
5
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that improvisational theater could
be an art form unto itself.
6
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Not just a warm-up
for other theater.
7
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This is what we're going
to be playing with.
8
00:01:38,391 --> 00:01:39,493
There it is,
the all-American football.
9
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:40,828
Well, that's an odd
shape, isn't it?
10
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It's not actually round.
11
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Now, everyone has their own take
on what's most important in improv,
12
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but even 60 years later, they still
boil down to three basic rules.
13
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Sly and the Family Stone.
14
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Jody and Buffy.
15
00:01:53,782 --> 00:01:55,412
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
16
00:01:55,492 --> 00:01:58,542
Um, vampires...
17
00:01:58,620 --> 00:01:59,870
Weekend.
18
00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:02,328
Number one.
Say yes.
19
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:05,247
- Duck season.
- Duck Hunt.
20
00:02:05,335 --> 00:02:06,625
Nintendo.
21
00:02:06,711 --> 00:02:07,855
Which really means
just agreeing with
22
00:02:07,879 --> 00:02:09,159
the reality your partner creates
23
00:02:09,214 --> 00:02:10,264
and then building on that.
24
00:02:10,340 --> 00:02:11,380
Pong.
25
00:02:12,425 --> 00:02:14,425
And then building on that.
26
00:02:16,221 --> 00:02:18,301
And then building on that,
and then building on that.
27
00:02:20,225 --> 00:02:21,885
Defender.
28
00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:23,136
Frogger.
29
00:02:24,646 --> 00:02:26,646
Oh, my God, that is amazing.
30
00:02:26,773 --> 00:02:29,733
Jack, you have worked on that.
Yeah, yeah, that's a good...
31
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That's a prepared bit,
that's not improvised.
32
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What? I don't accept
that as improv.
33
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Number two.
It's all about the group.
34
00:02:37,492 --> 00:02:38,492
Yes.
35
00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:40,036
It's not about you looking good.
36
00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:41,472
And it's also
not about looking funny.
37
00:02:41,496 --> 00:02:42,866
- No.
- Or showboating.
38
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It's about a group
working together in the moment
39
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:47,500
to create something
that never happened before.
40
00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,415
You know, or will
never happen again.
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00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,171
Five minutes, guys.
42
00:02:51,256 --> 00:02:53,216
"Five minutes, guys."
43
00:02:53,842 --> 00:02:55,444
"Five minutes, guys."
Why am I Japanese?
44
00:02:55,468 --> 00:02:57,279
Remember when you said, "Please
tell me when I'm racist?"
45
00:02:57,303 --> 00:02:59,643
Yeah. Thanks, thank you, Lindsay.
It's one of those times.
46
00:03:00,098 --> 00:03:02,428
And finally, and this
is the most important one.
47
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Don't think.
48
00:03:05,937 --> 00:03:09,317
It's all about getting out of
your head, it's about impulse.
49
00:03:09,399 --> 00:03:12,859
It's about living in the moment.
It's about now.
50
00:03:12,944 --> 00:03:13,994
Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
51
00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:16,110
No!
52
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,494
We all said we would
wear the same outfit.
53
00:03:18,575 --> 00:03:20,865
Everybody agreed. Let's start
wearing matching outfits.
54
00:03:20,952 --> 00:03:23,202
I felt like this was the
only thing all of us owned.
55
00:03:23,288 --> 00:03:26,788
Say, "Yes, and!" Nobody's
"yes, anding" me right now!
56
00:03:26,875 --> 00:03:29,835
You've gotta go. You've gotta go.
I'm being a professional.
57
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:31,799
In improv,
there are no mistakes.
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00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:33,590
Like, Del Close once said,
59
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"Fall and then figure out
what to do on the way down."
60
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:40,053
Welcome to the
Improv For America Theater.
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Please turn off your cell phones.
There's no talking.
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Got your back. Got your back.
Got your back.
63
00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:46,686
Got your back.
Got your back.
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Guys, I'm sorry I'm late.
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Aw!
66
00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:51,817
"Guys,
I'm sorry I'm late."
67
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:53,361
Sorry.
68
00:03:56,112 --> 00:03:57,112
Guess what?
What?
69
00:03:57,155 --> 00:04:00,655
Don't care that you're
late, I don't care that you're late
70
00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:01,802
Please welcome The Commune!
71
00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:04,066
All right, you guys, let's go!
72
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Hi, I'm Sam.
73
00:04:12,879 --> 00:04:14,339
Uh, Miles.
I'm Bill.
74
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:15,472
Allison.
Lindsay.
75
00:04:15,548 --> 00:04:16,588
Jack.
76
00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,434
And we are The Commune.
77
00:04:21,387 --> 00:04:23,677
So everything you see tonight
is gonna be improvised.
78
00:04:23,765 --> 00:04:26,015
And this show is really
all about you guys.
79
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:31,110
So we want to know, has anybody out
here had a particularly hard day?
80
00:04:31,189 --> 00:04:35,319
And something actually hard, like, not
like your roommate ate your yogurt.
81
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:37,671
It was still shitty
when you ate my yogurt, Miles.
82
00:04:40,031 --> 00:04:41,161
Uh, go ahead.
83
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,830
Uh, I'm looking for
an apartment and it sucks.
84
00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:46,910
Like, why
specifically does it suck?
85
00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:49,706
The only one I can afford has
the bathroom in the kitchen.
86
00:04:49,791 --> 00:04:51,291
Hmm.
87
00:04:51,376 --> 00:04:52,376
- Hi. Great.
- Hi.
88
00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:54,998
Okay, so as you can see, we have, uh...
There's two bedrooms.
89
00:04:55,088 --> 00:04:56,708
Lovely.
Here is the kitchen.
90
00:04:56,798 --> 00:04:58,298
Nice. There's a
beautiful bathroom.
91
00:04:58,383 --> 00:05:00,433
Uh, is that a toilet?
92
00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:03,720
Yes, that is. The toilet
is in the kitchen.
93
00:05:03,805 --> 00:05:05,385
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Mmm-hmm, yes.
94
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,143
Yes.
And who are they?
95
00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:09,977
They are...
96
00:05:13,231 --> 00:05:16,111
They are orphans.
They are orphans. Hi.
97
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,241
Did you say "orphans"?
98
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:21,819
Yes, the apartment comes with orphans.
Yes, yes, yes.
99
00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:24,906
Um, does the landlord
mind if I paint?
100
00:05:24,993 --> 00:05:26,833
Well, you can't paint
the orphans, no.
101
00:05:26,911 --> 00:05:28,041
But you can paint the walls.
102
00:05:28,121 --> 00:05:29,807
This is the place I was
telling you about, babe.
103
00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:31,371
It has a lot of character.
Oh, yeah.
104
00:05:31,457 --> 00:05:33,747
This is my husband. Stanley,
a pleasure to meet you.
105
00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:34,955
I love it.
Oh, it's great.
106
00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:37,174
Hey, well, guys, this is it.
It's gonna sell today.
107
00:05:37,255 --> 00:05:38,732
You gotta go for it,
it's gonna sell today.
108
00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,636
Oh, no, I'm going to take it.
109
00:05:40,675 --> 00:05:42,135
We'll pay 30% over asking.
110
00:05:42,218 --> 00:05:44,008
Well, I'll pay 50% over asking.
111
00:05:44,095 --> 00:05:45,715
We'll pay 100% over asking.
112
00:05:45,805 --> 00:05:49,305
Well, I'll pay $2 million
for this apartment.
113
00:05:50,059 --> 00:05:51,479
Really?
Yes.
114
00:05:51,561 --> 00:05:52,561
Okay, yeah.
115
00:05:52,645 --> 00:05:54,895
What makes you want
this apartment so badly?
116
00:05:57,984 --> 00:06:00,114
It's the orphans.
117
00:06:00,278 --> 00:06:01,698
I wanna raise them.
118
00:06:06,659 --> 00:06:09,289
This was my first group,
The Awakening, 1997.
119
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:12,170
That had me, Bill, Brad Burke.
Yeah.
120
00:06:12,248 --> 00:06:13,308
He's on... He's on
Stuck in the Middle.
121
00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:15,332
Yeah, yeah. He's done really well.
And... Oh, yeah.
122
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:16,854
And this guy's on
Weekend Live, right?
123
00:06:16,878 --> 00:06:18,548
Hugh Finn, yeah.
Wow!
124
00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:20,969
He's... I auditioned
that year, too.
125
00:06:21,049 --> 00:06:23,339
I was inches...
126
00:06:24,052 --> 00:06:25,222
And you're very talented.
127
00:06:25,303 --> 00:06:28,773
I mean, you're upper third
of your class, but you know,
128
00:06:28,848 --> 00:06:31,058
most of these guys, they're
just not gonna make it.
129
00:06:31,142 --> 00:06:32,482
I mean, 3%...
130
00:06:33,061 --> 00:06:35,731
Excuse me just a second. No,
Bonnie, we could move the theater!
131
00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:37,082
We could find
a space in Brooklyn.
132
00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:39,566
We could move to
Long Island City, Astoria.
133
00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:42,004
You know, all the music venues,
they're heading to Bushwick.
134
00:06:42,028 --> 00:06:43,028
Or Gowanus.
I know.
135
00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:47,832
The business model for selling $5
tickets to a show is not exactly sound.
136
00:06:48,326 --> 00:06:51,826
The theater's closing. We've gotta
be out of there in four weeks.
137
00:06:52,705 --> 00:06:54,245
They're selling.
138
00:06:54,332 --> 00:06:56,462
Another Trump building, I think.
139
00:06:57,752 --> 00:06:59,752
New York City is over.
140
00:07:01,506 --> 00:07:03,796
New York City, you're fired.
141
00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:06,904
Improv For
America, you're fired.
142
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,347
All of America, you're fired.
143
00:07:10,932 --> 00:07:12,102
What the hell was that?
144
00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:13,483
That was Trump.
145
00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:14,939
- JFK.
- That's JFK.
146
00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:17,300
Your impersonation
is so bad, you're fired.
147
00:07:18,731 --> 00:07:21,361
We're not leaving. We could
start a protest. Right?
148
00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:23,694
We could do like an online campaign.
Yeah, yeah.
149
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:26,702
Occupy!
150
00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:29,527
Protest!
151
00:07:33,913 --> 00:07:35,003
It was a bit.
152
00:07:35,081 --> 00:07:36,621
A bit gone bad.
153
00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:39,667
Samantha Byrne, you
took that bit too far. You're fired.
154
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,338
I concur, you're fired.
155
00:07:42,839 --> 00:07:43,879
JFK.
156
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,644
- So most of us live here.
- Oh, really?
157
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:51,258
Jack and Sam moved out last
year, so they have their own place,
158
00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:52,887
and Lindsay lives
with her parents.
159
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:55,119
- Uh, my parents live with me.
- Yeah, whatever.
160
00:07:55,143 --> 00:07:56,983
This is my room.
It's, uh...
161
00:07:57,061 --> 00:07:58,691
Watch your head on the pipe.
162
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:02,775
It's not huge...
163
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,527
But neither am I, so.
164
00:08:07,113 --> 00:08:09,203
What if I threw up
in your mouth right now?
165
00:08:09,282 --> 00:08:10,452
That's it.
166
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,993
You throw up? I'd go,
"Thanks, baby bird."
167
00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:19,001
You're so weird, you're so...
168
00:08:19,417 --> 00:08:20,747
You're so weird, I love...
169
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,183
It's too gross, even for me.
170
00:08:27,258 --> 00:08:28,402
It's too gross.
It's too gross.
171
00:08:28,426 --> 00:08:30,926
I like that you went with it.
I did. Yes...
172
00:08:34,599 --> 00:08:35,979
I need to work on my Irish.
173
00:08:38,269 --> 00:08:40,149
No. No, see, that's just
a speech impediment.
174
00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,939
I thought it was a good show.
175
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:46,860
Oh, yeah. Let me show you something.
Look at this. Hmm?
176
00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,318
I don't know
what you're showing me.
177
00:08:49,405 --> 00:08:51,025
It's called Bucky's.
178
00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:52,695
It looks like a porn house.
It is.
179
00:08:53,117 --> 00:08:54,617
I bought it for
practically nothing.
180
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:57,622
I'll wipe the splooge off the walls
and I'll flip it into a Sephora.
181
00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:59,865
Dad, I've told you, I'm not
interested in real estate.
182
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,207
All right.
183
00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:08,471
You still givin' out
hummus samples?
184
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,510
No. I got a new job.
185
00:09:12,511 --> 00:09:13,641
Great.
186
00:09:15,306 --> 00:09:17,636
Hummus and chips?
No, thank you.
187
00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:19,015
Hummus and chips?
188
00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:22,730
Okay. Follow me.
189
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:40,461
Like, I'm the most talented copy
editor at my agency and they fired me.
190
00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:44,835
What's crazy is,
I don't even need the job.
191
00:09:45,461 --> 00:09:48,211
It's hard to have
wealthy parents, Lindsay.
192
00:09:59,934 --> 00:10:01,654
Can we have
another suggestion, Josh?
193
00:10:01,686 --> 00:10:02,766
Uh, pen.
194
00:10:03,521 --> 00:10:05,311
Hey, man. I got you
this new pen.
195
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:08,943
It's actually not a pen.
That's, um, a fish.
196
00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:10,186
And you dumb.
197
00:10:10,278 --> 00:10:13,028
Pause there.
So, good stuff, you guys.
198
00:10:13,114 --> 00:10:16,454
Um, I think what we wanna do
is think in positives.
199
00:10:16,534 --> 00:10:19,004
So Natasha says, "Here's a
pen," you might add to that.
200
00:10:19,078 --> 00:10:22,788
You know, "Oh, thanks. It's got an
inscription. It says 'Happy Anniversary.""
201
00:10:23,416 --> 00:10:26,061
Okay, cool. Yeah, that's tight if
you wanna be doing improv forever,
202
00:10:26,085 --> 00:10:29,955
but I wanna do Weekend Live.
Like, how do you do that?
203
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,467
You wait in line, Gary.
204
00:10:31,549 --> 00:10:32,679
You looked good.
205
00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:34,888
It's Weekend Live!
206
00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:36,446
I'm glad you're keeping score.
207
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,781
You know what I mean?
It's the sports of comedy.
208
00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:40,805
It's the only live sporting
event of comedy.
209
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,561
But comedy isn't a sport.
"Sports of comedy"?
210
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,484
It shouldn't have
winners and losers,
211
00:10:45,563 --> 00:10:47,193
and there shouldn't be points.
212
00:10:47,273 --> 00:10:50,127
They don't have... I mean, they got
Gary Cho and then it's like, who else?
213
00:10:50,151 --> 00:10:52,611
- You know what I mean? Everybody else is...
- White.
214
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:53,735
Even if it wasn't me,
215
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:56,871
there should be somebody else on
this show that represents another...
216
00:10:56,949 --> 00:10:58,510
Different shades of white, certainly.
Right.
217
00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:01,004
Yes, definitely.
They've got eggshell...
218
00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:05,418
Ecru. Ecru to off-white
to almost ochre.
219
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:07,269
Ochre? I
enjoy ochre performers.
220
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,939
It was good when I was little.
221
00:11:10,963 --> 00:11:13,803
Right. You know, you never know if
it was good when you were little
222
00:11:13,883 --> 00:11:15,973
or you were just little,
so you didn't know.
223
00:11:16,052 --> 00:11:19,472
It's the great paradox of Weekend
Live, is was it good ever?
224
00:11:19,555 --> 00:11:20,555
And can I...
225
00:11:20,598 --> 00:11:21,825
Or did we just think so
because we were 12?
226
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:24,578
You really should not have said that
in your audition. I think that...
227
00:11:24,602 --> 00:11:26,402
I brought that up at my interview.
228
00:11:40,785 --> 00:11:42,445
Sarah, we're gonna hold 10.
229
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,616
Wait, why?
Why are we holding 10?
230
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:45,865
I called Hugh Finn.
231
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,996
He's bringing over some
producers from Weekend Live.
232
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:54,763
Hey, Jack, don't pull some
showboat shit out there.
233
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,234
What are you talking about?
When do I do that?
234
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:57,548
You know you always do that.
235
00:11:57,635 --> 00:12:00,595
Anyone from the industry shows up, you
turn into a one-man audition tape.
236
00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,533
You did it when the guy from Conan came.
You did it when Law and Order came.
237
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,347
Um, you guys, where's Bill?
238
00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:06,984
- Where is Bill?
- Bill?
239
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:10,290
He doesn't wanna miss this. He doesn't
wanna miss this. Where's he at?
240
00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:12,534
"Where are you?"
Bill.
241
00:12:12,942 --> 00:12:14,652
Where's Bill? Where's Bill?
242
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:17,405
Bill, Bill, Bill,
Bill, Bill, Bill.
243
00:12:17,947 --> 00:12:20,092
Bill's not gonna be happy
about missing Weekend Live.
244
00:12:20,116 --> 00:12:21,866
And I love Bill,
but we gotta do the show.
245
00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:23,041
All right.
Here we go, guys.
246
00:12:23,119 --> 00:12:25,039
Please welcome The Commune!
247
00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:37,088
Hi, I'm Sam.
248
00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:38,264
Miles.
Allison.
249
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:39,512
Lindsay.
Jack.
250
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:42,223
And we are The Commune.
251
00:12:43,556 --> 00:12:46,426
In fact, everything you see
tonight is going to be improvised
252
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,767
and it's all about you guys.
253
00:12:48,853 --> 00:12:52,863
So did anybody out there
have a particularly hard day?
254
00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:55,534
Mmm? Yes?
255
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:59,159
Yeah, I saw my dad for the
first time in 10 years today.
256
00:12:59,238 --> 00:13:01,778
What? Really?
Where? Where?
257
00:13:01,866 --> 00:13:05,736
He drives a taxi, and I just
randomly got into his cab.
258
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:07,998
- Wait. No, no, no.
- Wow!
259
00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:11,381
Fact checking. Um...
260
00:13:11,459 --> 00:13:13,249
You got into a taxi,
261
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:16,255
you did not know it was your dad,
and then you said, "Hi, Dad"?
262
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,840
Yes, I said,
"Hi, Dad." Well, okay.
263
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,126
Wow!
264
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:21,507
- Hop in.
- Oh.
265
00:13:22,887 --> 00:13:25,137
Thanks. I didn't think
anyone was gonna pick me up.
266
00:13:25,222 --> 00:13:27,482
It's raining so hard. Well, yeah.
Where you headed?
267
00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:31,058
I'm going to a restaurant
on West Fourth and Broadway.
268
00:13:31,145 --> 00:13:32,330
What do you got goin' on there?
269
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:37,074
Uh, a blind date with a man I'll
probably engage in sexual congress with.
270
00:13:40,029 --> 00:13:41,989
That seems a little fast.
Well...
271
00:13:44,575 --> 00:13:46,075
Thank you.
272
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:49,661
I consider myself quite fast.
273
00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:50,747
In fact...
274
00:13:51,749 --> 00:13:53,169
I have abandonment issues.
275
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:57,340
My father left me, so I basically
only relate to men through sex.
276
00:13:59,215 --> 00:14:01,175
That's challenging
for me to hear.
277
00:14:04,053 --> 00:14:05,473
Um...
278
00:14:06,764 --> 00:14:09,024
In that case, I think
I'll get out here. Okay.
279
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:16,692
Oh, welcome
to La Traviata. How many?
280
00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:18,194
Two. I'm meeting someone.
281
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:20,275
I'll be right back.
Thank you.
282
00:14:22,613 --> 00:14:24,453
Ugh! Dad?
283
00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:27,451
I'm just trying to be
part of your life.
284
00:14:28,661 --> 00:14:30,291
And you drove the cab?
285
00:14:33,958 --> 00:14:36,998
Now look, as the President
of the United States of America,
286
00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:42,092
I believe that it's not only
my duty to find your father
287
00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:46,967
but also have him pick you up in a cab
and take you to your destination.
288
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:52,180
This is a new program we're working on
right now called, uh, Cabs for Dads.
289
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:56,310
But my critics
like to call it ObamaCabs.
290
00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:00,611
As if that would bother me.
291
00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:06,448
I was justifying why a man would be
picking up his daughter in a cab.
292
00:15:06,532 --> 00:15:09,832
You also justified why you should
be doing your best impression.
293
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,040
When Weekend Live is there.
294
00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:13,370
When Weekend Live is there.
295
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,415
I thought it was very strong.
Thank you.
296
00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:18,129
No, you know, they're right.
You guys are right. I'm sorry.
297
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:19,521
I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have done that.
298
00:15:19,545 --> 00:15:21,795
I went out there by my...
I shouldn't have done that.
299
00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:24,678
That's Alicia Bonham
and Hugh Finn.
300
00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:27,223
Should I go over there?
301
00:15:27,303 --> 00:15:29,353
Why would you go
over there and not us?
302
00:15:29,430 --> 00:15:31,850
I don't... I don't care.
It doesn't matter.
303
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,326
I could go over there,
you could go over there.
304
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,810
We just can't all go over there.
305
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:36,645
Hi, I'm Jack.
306
00:15:36,729 --> 00:15:37,769
Alicia.
307
00:15:38,314 --> 00:15:40,404
That show was so good.
308
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,942
Thank you. Oh, my God.
I'm so flattered. Yeah.
309
00:15:43,027 --> 00:15:45,487
We are so flattered.
Such an honor.
310
00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:49,121
We're all so flattered, you know.
I started the group 11 years ago.
311
00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:50,369
Hi, I'm Lindsay!
312
00:15:50,701 --> 00:15:53,291
I love these guys. We were
in the trenches together.
313
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,960
Miles and I are like
stage brothers for life.
314
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,210
Oh, so I'll see you
at Hugh's wedding then.
315
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:00,496
Oh, um...
316
00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,456
You're getting married?
317
00:16:03,339 --> 00:16:06,679
It's actually just
a really small thing, so...
318
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:11,432
I don't care. I don't
wanna go to a wedding.
319
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:12,933
I hate weddings.
And babies.
320
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:15,725
If you ever have a baby,
don't invite me to it.
321
00:16:17,645 --> 00:16:19,055
Uh, I follow you on Twitter.
322
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:22,896
Ugh! I fucking hate Twitter.
My publicist made me join.
323
00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:26,152
But I mean, it's part of it,
though, you know, right?
324
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:27,446
I mean, just, right? Right?
325
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:28,776
Yeah.
326
00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:30,624
Um, well, if you ever
wanna hate it together,
327
00:16:30,658 --> 00:16:32,658
I'm Jack-underscore-Mercer,
so...
328
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,290
Underscore is my middle name.
329
00:16:35,371 --> 00:16:37,831
I have an Instagram for
my neighbor's dog, actually.
330
00:16:37,915 --> 00:16:40,495
So if you wanna check that
out, really fun stuff.
331
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:41,895
You don't have to be
an animal lover.
332
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:45,669
Uh, it's just like really human
moments, but also dog moments.
333
00:16:45,756 --> 00:16:47,006
It's TulipBone.
334
00:16:47,091 --> 00:16:50,341
'Cause the dog's name is Tulip, she
likes bones, easy to remember.
335
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,097
Thank you.
Thank you, guys.
336
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,219
Nice to meet you.
Okay.
337
00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:57,098
It is weird that he
didn't invite me to his wedding.
338
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,120
Is it, though?
I wasn't invited, either.
339
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:01,774
Smug son of a bitch. I'm not
invited to his wedding?
340
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:04,355
I introduced him to his wife!
341
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:08,254
I just tagged Alicia
on some @TulipBone pictures.
342
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:10,238
Oh, nice.
You mispronounced Alicia.
343
00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:11,925
Alicia. No,
it's not a pronunciation...
344
00:17:11,949 --> 00:17:14,279
Guys, this is Natasha.
She's one of my students.
345
00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:16,368
She's staying with us this week.
Hey.
346
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:19,463
I got evicted.
My roommate sells crack.
347
00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:20,960
Oh, man.
How was your show?
348
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,435
It was good.
Weekend Live showed up.
349
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:25,209
Yeah. Oh, God, seriously?
Are they casting?
350
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:27,545
'Cause I've been working
on my characters. Yeah?
351
00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:30,681
Like, "Y'all want some crack?
352
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:33,139
"Y'all want some crack
in your eggs?"
353
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,180
I'm not sure
they're casting. Anyway...
354
00:17:35,264 --> 00:17:38,314
Oh, my God, you guys. Bonnie
just texted me. They loved Sam.
355
00:17:38,726 --> 00:17:41,086
Sam? You hear that? MILES: Oh, yeah?
They didn't mention me?
356
00:17:41,145 --> 00:17:43,225
You know, I auditioned for
the show in 2003. I was...
357
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,573
We know.
Inches...
358
00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:46,978
Inches. I was like inches.
I was like inches.
359
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,667
Do not break my phone.
Do not break my...
360
00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:50,111
Boom!
361
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:51,487
Yes.
362
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:54,074
So who wins Jenga?
363
00:17:54,158 --> 00:17:55,802
The person who does
not knock it over.
364
00:17:55,826 --> 00:17:59,076
Yeah, like everybody
who doesn't lose Jenga wins.
365
00:17:59,163 --> 00:18:00,803
That's a weird game.
Oh, well done.
366
00:18:01,582 --> 00:18:04,332
Yes, I can.
Mmm-hmm, I'm there.
367
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,339
What's going on?
368
00:18:11,175 --> 00:18:12,545
Sam. Sam!
369
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:17,510
You know that Americans eat
one trillion eggs a year?
370
00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:20,179
Is that even true, Data?
371
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,637
Why do you call her Data?
372
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:24,365
- You don't know Data from Star Trek?
- How old are you?
373
00:18:24,688 --> 00:18:27,188
Okay. We will be there.
374
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,570
So, are you okay?
375
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,202
Yeah.
That was Bonnie.
376
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,281
Okay.
377
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:40,453
And we have an audition on
Thursday for Weekend Live.
378
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,710
Who? You and me?
You and me.
379
00:18:43,791 --> 00:18:45,381
She's losing right now!
380
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:48,166
Bill! Bill, where were you?
381
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,970
Sorry I missed the show.
382
00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:54,376
Sorry. Sorry I missed
the show, guys.
383
00:18:54,468 --> 00:18:55,695
Sorry. Sorry I missed
the show.
384
00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:58,719
You don't wanna do that.
385
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:02,306
Just stop. It's real, okay?
Just stop.
386
00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:05,476
Okay. You did it!
387
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,072
You did it!
We did it!
388
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,648
My dad, he rode
his motorcycle home
389
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:12,900
and
390
00:19:14,363 --> 00:19:16,493
on the highway
this 18-wheeler
391
00:19:17,825 --> 00:19:20,735
kinda edged him off the highway
and he hit the guardrail, so...
392
00:19:20,828 --> 00:19:23,658
He's in the hospital. I gotta take
the train to see him tomorrow.
393
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:24,947
Dude, dude, dude, we're sorry.
394
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,392
I'll get my dad's car.
Yeah, yeah.
395
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:27,852
I'll drive you
down there to the hospital.
396
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:28,996
We'll all come, yeah.
397
00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:31,126
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
398
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:32,383
What's going on?
399
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:37,085
Bill's dad had a motorcycle accident.
Some truck hit it.
400
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,347
He got hit.
401
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:41,388
We're gonna go down to Philadelphia
tomorrow. I'll get my dad's car.
402
00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:47,185
We actually have some news, too.
403
00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:48,521
We have, um...
404
00:19:49,106 --> 00:19:52,186
We're auditioning on
Thursday for Weekend Live.
405
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:55,704
Congrats, man.
406
00:19:56,113 --> 00:19:57,113
Thanks, man.
407
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:00,778
So, wait, Weekend Live,
they came to tonight's show?
408
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,220
Yeah. It was like,
like Alicia and Hugh...
409
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:04,204
Motherfucker.
Yeah. Sorry.
410
00:20:04,288 --> 00:20:05,328
Sorry, buddy.
411
00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:07,183
They're not gonna come
again, right? That's it.
412
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,560
They might.
The theater's closing.
413
00:20:08,584 --> 00:20:11,634
Maybe they'll wanna take another shot.
Maybe they'll come again, you know?
414
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,552
Probably not.
415
00:20:14,423 --> 00:20:15,723
I'm sorry.
416
00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:19,965
Do you know which
bits you're gonna do?
417
00:20:20,596 --> 00:20:22,886
We just heard like
10 minutes ago, so...
418
00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:25,433
You gotta do Alex Rodriguez
at the cell phone store.
419
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,727
I forgot all about that one.
Oh, my gosh.
420
00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:30,561
You gotta do The Rock when
The Rock loses all the weight.
421
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,727
SlimFast Rock.
What did we call it?
422
00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:34,606
The Pebble.
The Pebble. Right.
423
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:36,546
Jack. "Can you smell
what The Pebble's cookin'?"
424
00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:38,910
"Not much. And that's why
I lost the weight."
425
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,134
It's weird that they
didn't want me to audition.
426
00:20:41,158 --> 00:20:43,238
I mean, in some ways,
it makes sense.
427
00:20:43,327 --> 00:20:45,597
It's like they don't want more
generals, they want infantry.
428
00:20:45,621 --> 00:20:47,621
Yeah. Yeah.
429
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:51,086
So when I did it,
it was three characters,
430
00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:52,312
three impersonations.
What I did...
431
00:20:52,336 --> 00:20:54,439
Nobody cares, Miles.
What are you doing, Sam?
432
00:20:54,463 --> 00:20:55,553
I don't know yet.
433
00:20:55,631 --> 00:20:57,066
Jack, what are you gonna do?
434
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,840
Oh, you should do Uncle John!
435
00:20:59,343 --> 00:21:01,093
- What's that one?
- Okay, look.
436
00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:03,513
Kids down there makin' noise,
come down to the basement
437
00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:07,427
half in the bag, talkin' 'bout...
All you kids in the basement!
438
00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:10,188
I ain't gonna have it
with none of y'all kids, man.
439
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:13,190
Y'all down here, you break
anything, you make any noise,
440
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,943
then there's the door.
441
00:21:15,025 --> 00:21:17,775
Okay. Then what?
The premise of the character
442
00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:19,781
is just that he, like,
points to the door?
443
00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:23,703
That's always the way he exclamation
points the end of the sentence.
444
00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:25,544
You kids in here making noise.
445
00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:28,459
I don't want you in here,
breaking my antiques.
446
00:21:29,206 --> 00:21:31,286
There's the door.
There's the door.
447
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:32,955
There's the door.
There's the door.
448
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:34,883
Wait, Uncle John, Uncle John.
What? What?
449
00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:38,843
Um, I'm Bambi and I don't
know where my mom is.
450
00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,969
You know what?
There's the door.
451
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:43,715
There's the door!
452
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:48,140
Uncle John, Uncle John.
453
00:21:48,225 --> 00:21:49,885
Yeah. What's goin' on?
I make pizza
454
00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:52,705
and I can find my sauce and my cheese,
but I can't find the other part.
455
00:21:52,729 --> 00:21:54,059
It's right here, dude.
456
00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,317
There's the door.
There's the door!
457
00:21:56,650 --> 00:21:58,740
There's the door.
He's kneading the dough!
458
00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:01,361
Miles,
it's weird when you do it.
459
00:22:07,411 --> 00:22:10,791
We had to do an emergency
craniotomy to remove blood.
460
00:22:11,206 --> 00:22:13,666
Your dad understands
what happened and where he is,
461
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:16,040
but he can't vocalize
more than a word or two.
462
00:22:19,423 --> 00:22:21,234
Okay, we are
so far past this point now
463
00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:22,944
trying to remember
when the turning point was,
464
00:22:22,968 --> 00:22:25,298
but there actually
was a turning point.
465
00:22:28,432 --> 00:22:29,932
We should head out.
466
00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,151
We should head out.
467
00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:42,654
I'll come visit again soon, Dad.
468
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:45,163
Thank you.
469
00:22:46,783 --> 00:22:48,163
You're welcome, Dad.
470
00:22:49,828 --> 00:22:50,998
Bye, Mr. COUGHLIN.
471
00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:53,266
See you later, Mr. COUGHLIN.
Yeah, feel better, Mr. COUGHLIN.
472
00:22:53,290 --> 00:22:55,880
See you soon. Bye, Mr.
COUGHLIN. We'll be back.
473
00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:56,959
All right.
474
00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:01,259
I know it's not about me,
475
00:23:02,049 --> 00:23:05,299
but I don't want my dad to
die thinking I'm a failure.
476
00:23:06,136 --> 00:23:08,716
You're not a failure, Bill.
You're in The Commune.
477
00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:18,150
You know, Bill.
478
00:23:19,483 --> 00:23:23,153
I know it seems, like,
grim right now, but...
479
00:23:24,196 --> 00:23:26,156
Boy, he's really a fighter.
480
00:23:26,990 --> 00:23:27,990
Yeah.
481
00:23:28,784 --> 00:23:32,254
And there was that one moment
where he was like, "Thank you."
482
00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:34,499
And that was actually
pretty good.
483
00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:37,331
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
He was really present.
484
00:23:37,751 --> 00:23:41,421
Yeah, he was like,
"Thank you."
485
00:23:43,673 --> 00:23:44,763
Miles, that's wrong.
486
00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:45,985
Are you doing an impersonation?
487
00:23:46,009 --> 00:23:48,889
It was more like,
"Thank you."
488
00:23:52,724 --> 00:23:55,944
- Oh, Lindsay with the sneak attack.
- "Thank you."
489
00:23:56,019 --> 00:23:59,479
"Thank you." "Thank you."
490
00:23:59,648 --> 00:24:00,768
No, that's Bob Dylan.
491
00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:05,779
I'm pretty sure I'm the only one
that should impersonate my dad
492
00:24:05,862 --> 00:24:07,612
when he's basically in a coma.
493
00:24:07,697 --> 00:24:10,117
Mine was good, though.
Oh, God, Miles!
494
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,200
It was, it was pretty good, but
it was really inappropriate.
495
00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:20,294
"Thank you."
There we go!
496
00:24:23,547 --> 00:24:26,797
Hello.
Hello. My name is Liam NEESON.
497
00:24:28,218 --> 00:24:31,808
If it's money that you're
looking for, I've got none.
498
00:24:32,556 --> 00:24:35,806
I've used all of it the last six
times my daughter was taken.
499
00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:39,478
I mean, didn't you find it
very easy to kidnap her?
500
00:24:39,729 --> 00:24:42,069
No, you and I should sit...
You go over there.
501
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,820
God, are we glued here?
We're glued here.
502
00:24:46,987 --> 00:24:49,697
Can't we have
a stationary table?
503
00:24:49,865 --> 00:24:52,945
Can't we get a table
that doesn't move?
504
00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:55,664
Nobody answers!
This business.
505
00:24:55,745 --> 00:24:57,245
That doesn't wobble here?
506
00:24:58,081 --> 00:24:59,461
What?
What?
507
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:01,500
What?
508
00:25:02,335 --> 00:25:03,585
I wanna put my feet on it.
509
00:25:03,670 --> 00:25:04,750
Feet on it.
510
00:25:04,838 --> 00:25:06,588
Can't we get a stationary table?
511
00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:09,343
Can't we get a stationary...
512
00:25:09,509 --> 00:25:12,759
Nobody listens in this...
Nobody!
513
00:25:13,054 --> 00:25:15,854
If one hair on her head is harmed...
What, she's dead?
514
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,230
Okay, well, to be quite honest,
there's a bit of relief there.
515
00:25:19,311 --> 00:25:21,691
So I was thinking
about doing Gena Rowlands...
516
00:25:21,771 --> 00:25:23,941
Yeah? From A Woman
Under the Influence
517
00:25:24,024 --> 00:25:25,114
as an umpire.
518
00:25:25,192 --> 00:25:29,112
Okay, well, that was
obscure in 1974, but okay.
519
00:25:29,613 --> 00:25:31,913
Yeah. Nick, you're out.
520
00:25:32,073 --> 00:25:33,426
What do you mean I'm out?
How could I be out?
521
00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:35,595
Nick, you missed the base. You're out.
522
00:25:35,619 --> 00:25:37,619
Missed the base? I didn't even swing!
Rain delay!
523
00:25:37,704 --> 00:25:40,044
I'm telling you,
I didn't swing at the ball!
524
00:25:40,123 --> 00:25:41,883
But you have to do
the porches thing, too.
525
00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:44,458
P-O-R-C-H-E-S.
526
00:25:44,628 --> 00:25:47,378
We have aluminum porches.
527
00:25:48,882 --> 00:25:51,302
Enclosed...
528
00:25:51,968 --> 00:25:54,030
- Listen, Anne Prima Donna.
- Yes, Papa?
529
00:25:54,054 --> 00:25:55,364
You're the prettiest girl
in all of Brooklyn
530
00:25:55,388 --> 00:25:57,283
and if anyone tells you different,
they're outta their minds.
531
00:25:57,307 --> 00:25:58,387
Oh, Papa.
532
00:25:58,475 --> 00:26:01,185
Look at these lips.
Those are kissable lips!
533
00:26:01,561 --> 00:26:03,061
What could you
do for my lips, Papa?
534
00:26:03,146 --> 00:26:04,976
Oh, I could do just about
anything. I could...
535
00:26:05,232 --> 00:26:08,032
Let me check the lips first and
we'll see what we're doing here.
536
00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:15,830
Boy, my daughter's
good at everything.
537
00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:18,159
Just kidding.
You trained her well.
538
00:26:19,663 --> 00:26:21,043
All right, we gotta get moving.
539
00:26:21,331 --> 00:26:26,801
Ooh, but an elf has confused my legs for
trees and sawed them off for firewood.
540
00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:28,343
I'm serious. Here we go.
541
00:26:29,005 --> 00:26:32,335
Come on, Sam. Can't we just
lie here in the meadow?
542
00:26:32,425 --> 00:26:33,585
Come on, Sam.
543
00:26:33,677 --> 00:26:35,507
Yes, magical tree.
544
00:26:35,595 --> 00:26:37,505
We can lie here in the meadow.
545
00:26:37,681 --> 00:26:41,601
As long as that
meadow is the train.
546
00:26:41,685 --> 00:26:42,765
Oh.
547
00:26:42,852 --> 00:26:43,902
Here we are, magical tree.
548
00:26:43,979 --> 00:26:45,289
No, no, Jack, put me down.
We're going to our...
549
00:26:45,313 --> 00:26:46,313
Put me down.
550
00:26:46,356 --> 00:26:47,936
Sorry.
I need time.
551
00:26:49,859 --> 00:26:51,439
Well, we don't have
much time, hon.
552
00:26:51,528 --> 00:26:55,118
But yours is at 4:00 and mine's at
4:15, so I'll just meet you there.
553
00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:01,622
I can wait. If you want me
to wait and stay with you?
554
00:27:01,705 --> 00:27:03,015
Just go, Jack.
555
00:27:03,039 --> 00:27:06,129
I'll meet you there.
Don't worry about me.
556
00:27:11,214 --> 00:27:13,134
It's better if I meet you there?
557
00:27:13,216 --> 00:27:14,816
Honey, I got it. I'm good.
558
00:28:00,263 --> 00:28:02,643
Ray Romano singing
Happy Birthday.
559
00:28:03,475 --> 00:28:07,305
Happy birthday to...
560
00:28:11,983 --> 00:28:15,113
Hi. Sam Byrne, Weekend Live.
561
00:28:20,075 --> 00:28:21,905
Rath, it was unbelievable!
562
00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:26,082
I killed it, man! I absolutely crushed it!
I can't believe it.
563
00:28:26,164 --> 00:28:27,964
I did Ray Romano sings.
564
00:28:28,041 --> 00:28:30,881
They had to stop because
everyone was laughing so hard.
565
00:28:31,544 --> 00:28:33,384
No! You shut up!
566
00:28:43,973 --> 00:28:45,813
A character
called the ticket taker.
567
00:28:45,892 --> 00:28:50,192
He's an old timey ticket taker but
he works in a modern cineplex.
568
00:28:50,271 --> 00:28:52,901
And he doesn't understand,
he's like delusional.
569
00:28:52,982 --> 00:28:56,952
He thinks that we've lost the
classic kind of feel of the cinema,
570
00:28:57,028 --> 00:28:59,908
and so he just... He's
stuck in this world. So...
571
00:29:32,730 --> 00:29:34,190
Hi. Hello.
572
00:29:34,274 --> 00:29:36,944
Hi. I'm here to
quit show business.
573
00:29:37,777 --> 00:29:39,697
Well, hello!
574
00:29:41,573 --> 00:29:43,743
Hi, I'm here to quit
show business as well.
575
00:29:43,908 --> 00:29:46,288
What? Jugglers
almost never quit.
576
00:29:46,369 --> 00:29:48,079
What else do they have to do?
577
00:29:49,873 --> 00:29:52,583
So then he says,
"That's how it goes."
578
00:29:53,710 --> 00:29:55,170
And then
I was like, "Okay."
579
00:29:55,253 --> 00:29:57,963
And so then I walk out back into
the lobby out of his office
580
00:29:58,047 --> 00:30:00,177
and Gary Cho was sitting there.
581
00:30:00,258 --> 00:30:02,678
He looks at me, Gary Cho says,
582
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,760
"We're all really excited."
583
00:30:05,430 --> 00:30:07,100
And then I'm going,
"Uh-oh. What?"
584
00:30:07,182 --> 00:30:10,142
And at that moment, Timothy's
assistant comes out of the office
585
00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:12,769
and made it official.
586
00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:24,698
Oh, my God!
587
00:30:26,576 --> 00:30:28,906
Yeah!
That is amazing.
588
00:30:29,078 --> 00:30:32,118
Oh, my God.
That is amazing.
589
00:30:32,290 --> 00:30:34,670
Congratulations. I know, I know.
I'm fucking spinning.
590
00:30:35,418 --> 00:30:37,248
Dude! Yes! Dude!
591
00:30:37,420 --> 00:30:39,670
Thank you, man.
My man!
592
00:30:40,089 --> 00:30:42,860
I mean, that's so, I can't
believe I know someone on Weekend Live.
593
00:30:42,884 --> 00:30:44,764
So that's it?
You just got it?
594
00:30:44,844 --> 00:30:48,604
For years, I was like, it's either
Jack or Miles, but probably Jack.
595
00:30:50,475 --> 00:30:53,055
No, but that's what you get.
That's what you get.
596
00:30:53,144 --> 00:30:54,354
Yeah.
Right? Yeah.
597
00:30:54,437 --> 00:30:55,647
Where's Sam?
598
00:30:55,813 --> 00:30:57,249
Um, you know what?
We showed up separately,
599
00:30:57,273 --> 00:31:00,903
and she hasn't texted me back yet,
so I don't know what's going on.
600
00:31:00,985 --> 00:31:03,380
Can you still do our shows? I mean,
we only have three weeks left, so...
601
00:31:03,404 --> 00:31:05,257
- Yeah, you can still do our shows.
- Oh, yeah.
602
00:31:05,281 --> 00:31:07,371
I don't know.
I don't, you know...
603
00:31:07,450 --> 00:31:09,910
I mean, it's late night,
it's just on the week days.
604
00:31:09,994 --> 00:31:12,584
I don't know 'cause you're
writing all the time.
605
00:31:12,664 --> 00:31:15,384
It's our first week. I wanna put
my best foot forward and...
606
00:31:15,458 --> 00:31:17,288
There she is. There she is.
Oh, my God.
607
00:31:18,378 --> 00:31:20,458
Hi, I'm so sorry I missed the show.
How was it?
608
00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:21,941
- It doesn't matter.
- How'd it go?
609
00:31:21,965 --> 00:31:23,335
What happened?
How'd it go?
610
00:31:23,424 --> 00:31:25,014
Um...
611
00:31:26,135 --> 00:31:28,045
I was late and they
wouldn't let me in.
612
00:31:28,137 --> 00:31:29,257
What? Why? Why?
613
00:31:29,347 --> 00:31:31,597
Well, how late were you?
614
00:31:32,725 --> 00:31:34,185
I was like 20 minutes
late, so...
615
00:31:34,269 --> 00:31:35,269
You were 20 minutes late?
616
00:31:35,353 --> 00:31:37,540
Wait, you were 20 minutes late
and they wouldn't let you in?
617
00:31:37,564 --> 00:31:39,654
All right, maybe I was
like 30 minutes late.
618
00:31:39,732 --> 00:31:41,112
But, oh, my, how was it for you?
619
00:31:41,192 --> 00:31:43,112
No, listen, I told you
that I would wait for you.
620
00:31:43,194 --> 00:31:44,824
I told you that I would go...
621
00:31:45,488 --> 00:31:47,738
I know, I know.
How was it for you, though?
622
00:31:48,074 --> 00:31:50,034
Honey, yeah, I got the show.
623
00:31:50,702 --> 00:31:51,702
I got it.
624
00:31:53,246 --> 00:31:54,956
That's great.
Yeah, yeah.
625
00:31:55,039 --> 00:31:56,329
That's...
626
00:31:56,416 --> 00:31:57,496
Honey, but I...
627
00:31:58,751 --> 00:31:59,751
Thank you.
628
00:32:00,086 --> 00:32:03,107
I just wanted us both to get it, you know?
I really wanted us both to get it.
629
00:32:03,131 --> 00:32:04,131
I know.
630
00:32:10,847 --> 00:32:12,847
Look, guys, this is, um...
631
00:32:13,683 --> 00:32:16,733
This is a victory
for the whole group.
632
00:32:17,854 --> 00:32:20,654
Okay? 'Cause I'm gonna... You mean
you'll talk to Timothy about us?
633
00:32:20,732 --> 00:32:21,772
Uh...
634
00:32:21,858 --> 00:32:25,148
When you talk to him my name's Bill.
Just to remind you.
635
00:32:25,236 --> 00:32:27,446
I'm Bill. We've known
each other many years.
636
00:32:27,530 --> 00:32:30,280
A lot of guys who get on that
show can hire their own writers,
637
00:32:30,366 --> 00:32:31,776
or, you know, suggest it.
Seriously.
638
00:32:31,868 --> 00:32:32,908
Yeah. I mean, I'm...
639
00:32:33,411 --> 00:32:36,041
To Jack, everybody!
To Jack! Cheers! All right!
640
00:32:37,457 --> 00:32:38,537
This is huge.
641
00:32:51,638 --> 00:32:53,218
Bill.
642
00:32:58,144 --> 00:33:00,524
I was Jack's
first teacher, actually.
643
00:33:00,605 --> 00:33:01,605
Oh...
644
00:33:02,315 --> 00:33:04,725
You're my first teacher.
Exactly.
645
00:33:07,070 --> 00:33:08,570
That's cool.
Crazy.
646
00:33:08,613 --> 00:33:10,953
Yeah. Yeah, it's just like,
anything could happen.
647
00:33:11,741 --> 00:33:14,491
I was just so in it, and I
felt, if I don't get this,
648
00:33:14,577 --> 00:33:16,117
I'm gonna kill myself.
649
00:33:16,746 --> 00:33:19,706
I literally thought that.
And I believe that to be true.
650
00:33:19,791 --> 00:33:22,961
You mean like,
if you had to live our lives?
651
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:25,670
Like if you had to
continue living like us,
652
00:33:25,755 --> 00:33:26,835
you'd kill yourself?
No, no.
653
00:33:26,923 --> 00:33:28,723
I mean, I don't have OCD.
654
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,180
I used to when I was a kid.
655
00:33:30,259 --> 00:33:33,849
I had it kinda like, basically I had
this thing with picture frames.
656
00:33:33,930 --> 00:33:35,770
Like, if I saw a picture frame,
657
00:33:35,848 --> 00:33:37,576
I would have to touch
the four corners of it,
658
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,480
but it would, like,
it would have to feel right.
659
00:33:39,519 --> 00:33:42,979
If you wanna talk to anybody,
I have a great therapist.
660
00:33:43,064 --> 00:33:46,114
That's so
sweet of you, but I'm fine.
661
00:33:46,192 --> 00:33:47,402
Okay. I know.
I'm fine.
662
00:33:47,485 --> 00:33:49,775
She's always struggled
with this. It's like, um...
663
00:33:50,321 --> 00:33:54,491
She ran away from home when she was
16 and, yeah, to become a ballerina.
664
00:33:55,493 --> 00:33:58,583
Like an actual, like pointe toes...
Yeah.
665
00:33:58,663 --> 00:34:00,873
Pirouettes and all that?
Nutcracker, yeah.
666
00:34:00,957 --> 00:34:03,102
Had a Black Swan kinda thing
and like, it didn't work out.
667
00:34:03,126 --> 00:34:04,536
She's great,
but it didn't work out,
668
00:34:04,627 --> 00:34:06,587
and then she started
coming to Commune shows,
669
00:34:06,671 --> 00:34:09,051
and she became kind of
obsessed with our group,
670
00:34:09,132 --> 00:34:10,932
and then I asked her
to join the group.
671
00:34:11,134 --> 00:34:12,144
Wow.
672
00:34:30,903 --> 00:34:32,323
Sam, honey.
673
00:34:35,700 --> 00:34:37,330
Honey, what happened?
674
00:34:37,869 --> 00:34:40,869
Okay, I mean, you can't just
have been 20 minutes late.
675
00:34:43,124 --> 00:34:44,544
Doesn't matter.
676
00:35:16,866 --> 00:35:18,226
Cool. Thanks a lot, ma'am.
677
00:35:26,209 --> 00:35:27,249
Fuck you.
678
00:35:46,312 --> 00:35:47,402
Where you going?
679
00:35:48,189 --> 00:35:49,689
Uh...
680
00:35:49,774 --> 00:35:52,324
I kinda feel like a whore.
681
00:35:52,401 --> 00:35:54,401
What do you mean?
We had a great time.
682
00:35:54,654 --> 00:35:55,954
Ugh! You're, like, 40.
683
00:35:59,492 --> 00:36:01,662
I just turned 36.
684
00:36:03,079 --> 00:36:04,659
I need you to teach my classes.
685
00:36:04,747 --> 00:36:06,827
Why?
I can't take it anymore.
686
00:36:06,916 --> 00:36:10,666
Another one of my students gets my
dream job and I'm still teaching 101?
687
00:36:10,753 --> 00:36:13,553
I gotta focus on me.
Writing for me.
688
00:36:13,631 --> 00:36:15,400
I'm gonna get
the job at Weekend Live.
689
00:36:15,424 --> 00:36:17,844
That's good for you, Miles,
but I can't teach.
690
00:36:17,927 --> 00:36:20,347
Why?
I'm good in a group.
691
00:36:20,429 --> 00:36:21,969
I'm no good on my own.
692
00:36:23,933 --> 00:36:26,193
Welcome to the
Improv For America Theater.
693
00:36:26,269 --> 00:36:28,649
Please turn off
your cell phones and...
694
00:36:30,982 --> 00:36:32,362
What's that phrase? Uh...
695
00:36:33,150 --> 00:36:37,490
"A house is made of brick and stone,
but a home is made of love alone"?
696
00:36:38,281 --> 00:36:39,531
You ever hear that one?
697
00:36:41,576 --> 00:36:43,076
No, Greg, I haven't.
698
00:36:47,164 --> 00:36:48,674
I read it... Uh...
699
00:36:49,166 --> 00:36:51,916
It was like, hanging up
in a doctor's office one time.
700
00:36:55,631 --> 00:36:59,341
You guys ever heard a phrase that's like,
"A bird in the hand is like two in a bush"?
701
00:37:01,387 --> 00:37:03,217
I heard that one.
Yeah?
702
00:37:03,306 --> 00:37:06,176
Yeah. You guys
ever heard that phrase,
703
00:37:06,267 --> 00:37:07,578
"There's nothing
that feels better
704
00:37:07,602 --> 00:37:10,612
"than feeling someone's last
breath come out of their mouth"?
705
00:37:12,732 --> 00:37:16,692
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard that one.
I heard that one.
706
00:37:17,361 --> 00:37:19,201
What about, like,
that one where it's like,
707
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,450
"The final drop of blood
in a man's body
708
00:37:21,532 --> 00:37:23,372
"is the sweetest nectar
you'll ever drink"?
709
00:37:23,701 --> 00:37:25,911
Yeah. Yeah.
710
00:37:26,329 --> 00:37:28,039
So, I met this guy.
711
00:37:29,081 --> 00:37:32,251
He owns this space up in Midtown.
It's kind of fancy for us.
712
00:37:32,335 --> 00:37:34,955
It's mostly like jazz and
classical music and stuff,
713
00:37:35,046 --> 00:37:37,466
but he said we could rent it
on one of the off-nights.
714
00:37:37,548 --> 00:37:38,942
We might even be able
to make some money.
715
00:37:38,966 --> 00:37:40,256
Really?
716
00:37:40,343 --> 00:37:42,513
Yeah.
Wow, is it expensive, or...
717
00:37:42,678 --> 00:37:46,638
That's the thing. We would
have to front like $4,000.
718
00:37:46,724 --> 00:37:50,274
But once we match it in ticket
sales, we split up any profits.
719
00:37:50,353 --> 00:37:52,733
That sounds good.
Can we see the space?
720
00:37:53,272 --> 00:37:55,322
Hey. Come on, guys, look.
721
00:37:55,399 --> 00:37:57,569
Is this a lovely room, huh?
It's nice.
722
00:37:57,860 --> 00:37:58,990
Is that a Steinway?
723
00:37:59,070 --> 00:38:00,860
Biggest one in this city.
724
00:38:00,947 --> 00:38:02,277
It's got a good vibe.
You know?
725
00:38:02,365 --> 00:38:05,195
He seems like he really likes
our show, but he also seems like,
726
00:38:05,618 --> 00:38:08,868
if I'm being honest, like he's
slimy enough to get it done.
727
00:38:08,955 --> 00:38:10,245
Yeah.
Good slimy.
728
00:38:10,373 --> 00:38:12,333
You know? I've actually
got to get going,
729
00:38:12,416 --> 00:38:14,666
but, um,
I'll see you at 9:00?
730
00:38:15,544 --> 00:38:16,964
Can we make it 9:30?
731
00:38:17,046 --> 00:38:18,206
What are you guys working on?
732
00:38:18,798 --> 00:38:20,508
Writing packet for Weekend Live.
733
00:38:20,591 --> 00:38:22,761
Cool. I would
get in on that.
734
00:38:24,261 --> 00:38:25,391
What do you mean?
735
00:38:25,888 --> 00:38:28,718
Like I'd submit
with you guys as a team.
736
00:38:29,809 --> 00:38:31,769
Writing teams are two people.
737
00:38:32,812 --> 00:38:34,562
And we already kinda...
738
00:38:37,066 --> 00:38:40,106
Oh, yeah, yeah, no. No, I'll
do one, I'll do my own.
739
00:38:41,821 --> 00:38:44,621
They should all, like, you
want the scenes, guys, to run about
740
00:38:44,740 --> 00:38:46,910
- three minutes to four minutes, tops.
- Gotcha.
741
00:38:46,993 --> 00:38:50,503
The whole packet should have like three
parody pieces, a commercial piece,
742
00:38:50,579 --> 00:38:51,789
a political piece.
That's good.
743
00:38:51,872 --> 00:38:53,600
Do you think they would
want, like, a cartoon form?
744
00:38:53,624 --> 00:38:56,019
Like, 'cause I was thinking about,
like, drawing them out a little bit
745
00:38:56,043 --> 00:38:57,883
so like, they read it
almost like a comic.
746
00:38:57,962 --> 00:39:01,672
Maybe draw a couple little
cartoons next to the script.
747
00:39:01,924 --> 00:39:04,344
So there's this girl
and she's on a dating show,
748
00:39:04,427 --> 00:39:06,847
and she doesn't know
that she's fighting
749
00:39:06,929 --> 00:39:10,019
to win the love of an alien and
Sasquatch and Abe Lincoln's ghost.
750
00:39:10,182 --> 00:39:11,982
All right.
And then she wins Abe Lincoln
751
00:39:12,059 --> 00:39:13,787
and then he's like,
"I can't 'cause I'm married."
752
00:39:13,811 --> 00:39:17,191
And she's like, "Well, then, why
did you even join this game show?"
753
00:39:17,273 --> 00:39:19,251
And then he's like, ""Cause
I had a gun to my head."
754
00:39:19,275 --> 00:39:20,735
And then it's actually...
755
00:39:20,818 --> 00:39:24,528
It's John Wilkes Booth
and he's gonna shoot him.
756
00:39:24,822 --> 00:39:26,942
And then John Wilkes Booth
is, like, a handsome ghost,
757
00:39:26,991 --> 00:39:28,491
and he's like,
"Well, I'm single."
758
00:39:28,576 --> 00:39:30,696
And she's into it
'cause she likes ghosts.
759
00:39:30,786 --> 00:39:32,366
That's out there.
That's awesome.
760
00:39:32,788 --> 00:39:35,618
Gary Cho could play that
Sasquatch, no problem.
761
00:39:36,292 --> 00:39:38,712
No problem.
It's too plot heavy.
762
00:39:39,336 --> 00:39:40,626
I don't like it.
763
00:39:43,007 --> 00:39:45,247
Or they have to order
for him 'cause they're like...
764
00:39:55,269 --> 00:39:59,439
Hey, I've got a few friends that
want to submit some writing.
765
00:39:59,523 --> 00:40:03,243
Um, when would be, like, a good
time to talk to Timothy about that?
766
00:40:03,569 --> 00:40:05,109
Is this like a bit?
767
00:40:05,196 --> 00:40:06,566
No, no. No, I'm just asking.
768
00:40:06,655 --> 00:40:08,195
Oh, this is like a real thing?
769
00:40:08,491 --> 00:40:09,911
Oh, never.
770
00:40:09,992 --> 00:40:13,332
Don't ever talk to Timothy
about your funny friends.
771
00:40:13,412 --> 00:40:15,792
First year,
just don't get fired.
772
00:40:15,873 --> 00:40:18,383
Right, right.
So don't ever...
773
00:40:18,459 --> 00:40:20,187
So just don't ever do
it during the first year?
774
00:40:20,211 --> 00:40:24,381
I'm sorry. Was I... Was my, like,
tone not sarcastic enough?
775
00:40:24,465 --> 00:40:26,465
Never do it. Ever.
776
00:40:33,808 --> 00:40:34,808
Um...
777
00:40:35,267 --> 00:40:36,267
Um...
778
00:40:37,394 --> 00:40:41,324
So I'm filling in
for Miles today.
779
00:40:41,398 --> 00:40:44,938
I have to confess, this is
my first-ever time teaching
780
00:40:45,027 --> 00:40:46,467
so it's new for me,
it's new for you,
781
00:40:46,529 --> 00:40:47,819
but I think it's gonna be great.
782
00:40:47,905 --> 00:40:50,065
I really think you guys...
783
00:40:50,366 --> 00:40:53,286
I see bright shiny eyes and
you're making me happy. Um...
784
00:40:54,078 --> 00:40:55,438
What did I wanna
talk to you about?
785
00:40:55,496 --> 00:40:59,746
I wanted to talk to you
about group mind.
786
00:41:00,376 --> 00:41:03,166
We're on the verge. I feel it, right?
So I want...
787
00:41:03,254 --> 00:41:05,464
Even when you're just coming in
788
00:41:05,548 --> 00:41:07,628
and doing warm-ups,
zip zap zop,
789
00:41:07,716 --> 00:41:10,676
I want you guys to really be
connecting with each other.
790
00:41:10,761 --> 00:41:11,761
Um...
791
00:41:12,763 --> 00:41:14,603
Does anybody have any questions?
792
00:41:15,891 --> 00:41:17,021
Yes.
I'm sorry.
793
00:41:17,101 --> 00:41:19,691
I'm just finding
this really confusing.
794
00:41:22,022 --> 00:41:23,402
Good note. Good note.
795
00:41:23,566 --> 00:41:27,566
Uh, has anybody
had a particularly hard day?
796
00:41:27,903 --> 00:41:30,283
I had to come
back from France early.
797
00:41:30,364 --> 00:41:31,364
Oh!
798
00:41:34,618 --> 00:41:36,248
Oh!
799
00:41:37,288 --> 00:41:39,208
I went to Europe...
800
00:41:39,290 --> 00:41:41,630
Oh, the poor girl.
And I had to come home early!
801
00:41:41,709 --> 00:41:43,709
The poor girl had to go to Europe.
You guys...
802
00:41:43,794 --> 00:41:45,554
I had to go to France.
803
00:41:45,629 --> 00:41:47,919
Oh, honey.
She had to go to Europe.
804
00:41:48,007 --> 00:41:50,427
So is there
anything we can do? I...
805
00:41:51,427 --> 00:41:54,717
This is really depressing.
I don't... I'm sorry...
806
00:41:54,805 --> 00:41:58,595
I donate, uh, at the office for
kids who have to come back...
807
00:41:58,851 --> 00:42:00,901
Oh, yeah.
Back from Europe.
808
00:42:00,978 --> 00:42:03,648
I was gonna go to Belgium.
809
00:42:05,191 --> 00:42:07,151
Is there anything you can do?
810
00:42:07,318 --> 00:42:09,198
I don't know.
I mean, I'm kind of
811
00:42:09,278 --> 00:42:11,658
dealing with
my own stuff right now.
812
00:42:12,156 --> 00:42:13,696
Um...
What kind of stuff?
813
00:42:13,782 --> 00:42:15,412
I have no bone marrow.
814
00:42:22,041 --> 00:42:23,921
Hey, guys. Uh, this is Liz.
815
00:42:24,001 --> 00:42:25,881
Hey.
Liz was at the show tonight.
816
00:42:25,961 --> 00:42:27,522
We went to Naperville
High School together. Hi.
817
00:42:27,546 --> 00:42:28,546
Oh, wow. Hi.
818
00:42:28,631 --> 00:42:29,774
We used to do high
school theater together.
819
00:42:29,798 --> 00:42:30,859
We did high school theater.
820
00:42:30,883 --> 00:42:32,163
We did
A Midsummer Night's Dream.
821
00:42:32,218 --> 00:42:33,428
That's right. Yeah.
822
00:42:33,510 --> 00:42:34,720
I used to watch her change.
823
00:42:34,803 --> 00:42:36,603
What?
824
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:40,140
- Yeah, that's right. True story.
- That's terrible.
825
00:42:40,226 --> 00:42:42,726
This was such a nice surprise.
Oh.
826
00:42:42,937 --> 00:42:45,227
Well, you know,
I'm on my world tour.
827
00:42:45,314 --> 00:42:46,694
And I've been
following your posts
828
00:42:46,774 --> 00:42:48,694
on Facebook about
The Commune for years,
829
00:42:48,776 --> 00:42:50,396
so I had to check it out.
That's so cool.
830
00:42:50,486 --> 00:42:53,406
I remember in high school, you
were like the star of every play,
831
00:42:53,489 --> 00:42:56,949
and I was always like the
milkman or the messenger.
832
00:42:57,034 --> 00:42:58,794
Narrator.
Narrator.
833
00:42:58,869 --> 00:43:02,459
I was like a clown
or the stage manager.
834
00:43:03,165 --> 00:43:04,825
Watch your head on the pipe.
835
00:43:05,209 --> 00:43:06,629
This is it.
836
00:43:06,710 --> 00:43:09,460
You know, not huge,
but neither am I.
837
00:43:10,756 --> 00:43:13,466
Wow. This is
moving pretty fast.
838
00:43:13,550 --> 00:43:16,100
No, no, gosh. No, I...
839
00:43:17,012 --> 00:43:19,682
I wasn't gonna
suggest that we...
840
00:43:19,765 --> 00:43:21,265
I'm not staying here.
841
00:43:21,350 --> 00:43:22,827
No, no, no, I didn't
think that you would.
842
00:43:22,851 --> 00:43:24,331
I'm a 36-year-old woman.
I'm not gonna
843
00:43:24,395 --> 00:43:25,975
stay in, like,
your college dorm.
844
00:43:26,063 --> 00:43:27,943
No, no, of course.
Here, no, sorry.
845
00:43:28,023 --> 00:43:30,903
You're misunderstanding.
I'm 36 as well.
846
00:43:31,777 --> 00:43:33,737
So I'm here for a few weeks.
847
00:43:33,821 --> 00:43:37,701
Oh, I'd love to see you
as much as, you know...
848
00:43:37,783 --> 00:43:39,583
As much as my schedule allows?
849
00:43:40,202 --> 00:43:41,542
Yeah. Hey!
850
00:43:43,247 --> 00:43:44,707
I had a great time.
Oh.
851
00:43:46,875 --> 00:43:49,295
You should come by tomorrow.
We're gonna watch Jack on TV.
852
00:43:49,378 --> 00:43:50,548
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'll do that.
853
00:43:50,629 --> 00:43:52,009
Yeah. Bye.
854
00:43:52,089 --> 00:43:53,089
Oh.
855
00:44:02,891 --> 00:44:05,441
"Thank you forever."
856
00:44:08,314 --> 00:44:10,074
Just be careful with those.
857
00:44:13,652 --> 00:44:16,612
"Art which is most
exciting today is impermanent
858
00:44:16,697 --> 00:44:19,947
"and not meant to last
except as an act of love.
859
00:44:20,034 --> 00:44:21,664
"It just comes out
between people.
860
00:44:21,744 --> 00:44:23,164
"It doesn't want
to be written down.
861
00:44:23,245 --> 00:44:25,955
"It passes in the moment
and disappears."
862
00:44:27,583 --> 00:44:29,003
So for tomorrow, do you wanna...
863
00:44:29,668 --> 00:44:30,729
Do you want me to get you seats
864
00:44:30,753 --> 00:44:32,713
or do you wanna just hang out
in my dressing room?
865
00:44:36,342 --> 00:44:38,932
I don't know if I can
go back in that building.
866
00:44:43,849 --> 00:44:44,849
Okay.
867
00:44:45,517 --> 00:44:47,347
I could meet you at the party.
868
00:44:48,020 --> 00:44:49,230
Yeah.
869
00:44:49,313 --> 00:44:51,443
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's good. Yeah.
870
00:44:58,113 --> 00:45:00,873
It's Weekend Live!
871
00:45:00,949 --> 00:45:02,409
We're gonna watch the show here,
872
00:45:02,493 --> 00:45:04,163
but Jack is gonna
get us into the party.
873
00:45:08,874 --> 00:45:12,804
And Jack Mercer!
874
00:45:14,296 --> 00:45:15,296
Ugh.
875
00:45:15,672 --> 00:45:16,802
Fuck.
876
00:45:17,132 --> 00:45:18,132
He did it.
877
00:45:18,592 --> 00:45:19,722
That's our guy.
878
00:45:32,856 --> 00:45:37,486
Five,
four, three, two, one. Go!
879
00:45:38,487 --> 00:45:41,737
Step right up! I can get your tickets
for you right here! Step right up!
880
00:45:41,824 --> 00:45:43,584
Tickets!
Yeah. Uh...
881
00:45:43,659 --> 00:45:46,409
I was gonna get two tickets, but I
was gonna use a kiosk or whatever.
882
00:45:46,495 --> 00:45:48,075
Look no further than me, friend.
883
00:45:48,163 --> 00:45:49,463
I can get you tickets right here
884
00:45:49,540 --> 00:45:52,540
and I can get 'em for you
at a G-R-E-A-T price!
885
00:45:54,461 --> 00:45:55,841
Not funny.
886
00:45:57,005 --> 00:45:59,875
Skillful, but not funny.
887
00:45:59,967 --> 00:46:04,717
It's like when something sounds
funny, but it isn't funny.
888
00:46:05,848 --> 00:46:07,928
Please welcome ELEL.
889
00:46:54,146 --> 00:46:55,226
We gotta go!
890
00:46:55,314 --> 00:46:56,574
Dude, I'm coming!
I'm coming!
891
00:46:56,648 --> 00:46:59,108
Just give me one second.
Do not leave without me!
892
00:46:59,401 --> 00:47:01,361
No room for your
funny friends, Jack!
893
00:47:01,862 --> 00:47:03,162
Robbie, do not leave without me!
894
00:47:03,238 --> 00:47:04,632
We'll go, we'll hang outside
the Time Warner...
895
00:47:04,656 --> 00:47:05,884
Jack said meet him
at the stage door.
896
00:47:05,908 --> 00:47:08,828
Stage door? We're not
waiting outside a building.
897
00:47:08,911 --> 00:47:11,121
Why not? He's probably there
looking for us right now.
898
00:47:11,246 --> 00:47:13,006
That's not even where the party is!
Let's go.
899
00:47:13,081 --> 00:47:14,081
Fine.
900
00:47:15,042 --> 00:47:19,842
Liz and I are not doing that.
We are 36-year-old adults.
901
00:47:23,884 --> 00:47:25,894
Lena! Lena!
902
00:47:25,969 --> 00:47:27,799
Lena! Lena!
903
00:47:27,888 --> 00:47:30,428
Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.
904
00:47:30,766 --> 00:47:31,846
Sorry.
905
00:47:31,934 --> 00:47:34,694
Hey. Hey, uh, you think
any more of 'em will come out?
906
00:47:35,270 --> 00:47:36,610
That's probably it.
907
00:47:36,855 --> 00:47:38,535
Hey, my man, you know
where the party's at?
908
00:47:39,107 --> 00:47:40,187
I don't know.
909
00:47:40,275 --> 00:47:41,525
Where'd you get that picture?
910
00:47:41,610 --> 00:47:43,030
Oh, that's our friend Jack.
911
00:47:43,111 --> 00:47:45,661
I don't know who he is. I just
found it on a message board.
912
00:47:45,739 --> 00:47:47,529
That's my boyfriend.
913
00:47:47,616 --> 00:47:50,366
Okay. That's my arm around
him in that picture.
914
00:47:50,452 --> 00:47:52,202
Yeah, that's her.
Yeah.
915
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:55,920
Can you guys, like, give me a
little space or something?
916
00:47:56,416 --> 00:47:58,876
Yeah. I'm taking off, you guys.
I think Liz and I are done.
917
00:47:58,961 --> 00:48:00,751
Yeah, I'm outta here.
Really?
918
00:48:04,633 --> 00:48:05,803
Excuse me.
919
00:48:09,930 --> 00:48:11,060
Hey.
920
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:13,310
- Have a seat.
- Thank you.
921
00:48:14,768 --> 00:48:16,138
You were very good.
922
00:48:17,104 --> 00:48:19,944
Thank you so much.
It's just been so surreal.
923
00:48:20,023 --> 00:48:21,403
Don't thank me now.
It's weak.
924
00:48:21,483 --> 00:48:22,613
Right.
925
00:48:22,693 --> 00:48:24,629
Thank me if I don't fire you
after the first season.
926
00:48:24,653 --> 00:48:26,993
Right. Yeah.
927
00:48:27,072 --> 00:48:28,162
I'm kidding.
928
00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:29,240
Oh.
929
00:48:29,491 --> 00:48:31,411
But I got you something.
930
00:48:32,578 --> 00:48:33,868
I'm gonna give you a hint.
931
00:48:34,288 --> 00:48:35,458
It's Swedish.
932
00:48:35,998 --> 00:48:37,288
It's wooden.
933
00:48:37,583 --> 00:48:38,583
It's a bicycle.
934
00:48:38,875 --> 00:48:39,875
Oh.
935
00:48:40,335 --> 00:48:43,415
Yeah, when Bjork did the show, she
brought her designer, Artipelag,
936
00:48:43,505 --> 00:48:47,255
and he made that by hand.
937
00:48:47,342 --> 00:48:49,852
Really? Thank you
so much. I...
938
00:48:50,679 --> 00:48:51,679
Um...
939
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,440
Uh, should I take it back
over to my table, or...
940
00:48:56,518 --> 00:48:58,438
Oh, we'll store that for you.
941
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:00,690
Gotcha. Gotcha.
Or you could ride.
942
00:49:09,781 --> 00:49:10,781
Oh.
943
00:49:14,494 --> 00:49:15,504
Hey.
Mmm.
944
00:49:15,954 --> 00:49:17,794
Oh, boy, there she is.
945
00:49:19,041 --> 00:49:20,081
Mmm.
946
00:49:20,167 --> 00:49:21,877
Hi.
No, buddy.
947
00:49:22,044 --> 00:49:23,804
Hello.
Ain't happenin'.
948
00:49:27,382 --> 00:49:28,842
That was like a baby bird.
949
00:49:29,009 --> 00:49:32,469
You know what? I'm gonna sleep
on the couch. You sleep in here.
950
00:49:41,521 --> 00:49:42,901
Hello.
951
00:49:43,231 --> 00:49:45,531
Mmm-mmm.
- Oh, hello.
952
00:49:45,651 --> 00:49:47,321
Yeah, Timothy
recommended these. Um...
953
00:49:48,820 --> 00:49:50,100
They were imported from Holland.
954
00:49:50,155 --> 00:49:51,155
God.
955
00:49:51,323 --> 00:49:52,967
He gave them to Dorothy Goodwin
when she went into rehab.
956
00:49:52,991 --> 00:49:55,411
Oh!
Not these particular flowers.
957
00:49:55,494 --> 00:49:57,138
I'm just saying, you know,
it's from that place.
958
00:49:57,162 --> 00:49:58,712
Rehab flowers.
Yeah.
959
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:01,920
Hey. Sweetie.
960
00:50:02,918 --> 00:50:04,668
I am so sorry about last night.
961
00:50:04,753 --> 00:50:07,343
I'm so sorry and we're gonna
get through this, okay?
962
00:50:07,422 --> 00:50:08,672
I know.
All right?
963
00:50:09,216 --> 00:50:10,626
Thank you. All right.
964
00:50:10,717 --> 00:50:11,717
Love you.
965
00:50:12,010 --> 00:50:14,220
Where you going? I, uh...
I gotta go to work.
966
00:50:19,476 --> 00:50:23,186
He had a seizure last week,
actually, which is not a good sign.
967
00:50:23,355 --> 00:50:24,355
Really?
968
00:50:24,439 --> 00:50:25,639
Yeah.
We're all really on edge.
969
00:50:25,774 --> 00:50:28,534
God, that sucks, Bill.
I'm sorry. Yeah.
970
00:50:28,694 --> 00:50:31,534
It's been pretty grim. It's
been pretty grim, you know?
971
00:50:31,905 --> 00:50:34,115
So, here's our writing packet.
972
00:50:34,282 --> 00:50:35,782
Yes. All right.
Yeah.
973
00:50:35,951 --> 00:50:37,371
We worked really hard on it.
974
00:50:37,452 --> 00:50:38,792
Yeah, it's good.
It's good.
975
00:50:38,954 --> 00:50:41,544
Got it. No, no, okay,
guys, absolutely. Um...
976
00:50:41,707 --> 00:50:43,787
Thanks.
You're welcome. Yeah.
977
00:50:43,959 --> 00:50:45,789
Remember, don't thank me yet,
978
00:50:45,877 --> 00:50:49,047
all I can do is try to get
it toward Timothy's desk.
979
00:50:49,131 --> 00:50:50,891
You know what I mean?
Yeah. Much appreciated.
980
00:50:50,966 --> 00:50:52,876
Yeah. Absolutely. But I
want you to also know
981
00:50:52,968 --> 00:50:54,638
that I am
recommending everybody.
982
00:50:54,720 --> 00:50:57,970
You know, I'm recommending you
guys and Miles, and you know...
983
00:50:58,056 --> 00:50:59,806
Yeah. Miles, yeah.
984
00:50:59,891 --> 00:51:01,441
Just remember,
we're the two that have
985
00:51:01,518 --> 00:51:02,998
never talked shit
about you, you know?
986
00:51:03,061 --> 00:51:04,061
So...
987
00:51:05,772 --> 00:51:07,291
You know, Miles, I'm gonna
put in a good word for you,
988
00:51:07,315 --> 00:51:08,975
but it's not my job to give.
989
00:51:10,193 --> 00:51:11,493
Right.
990
00:51:12,571 --> 00:51:14,241
But they'll want me, right?
991
00:51:16,825 --> 00:51:17,985
I...
992
00:51:18,827 --> 00:51:19,997
I taught you.
993
00:51:20,078 --> 00:51:21,158
I know.
994
00:51:21,913 --> 00:51:23,623
I taught you everything.
995
00:51:23,999 --> 00:51:25,419
Just tell them that.
996
00:51:26,793 --> 00:51:29,423
They have Jack Mercer,
now they can get his teacher.
997
00:51:36,678 --> 00:51:37,798
I'm gonna...
998
00:51:39,055 --> 00:51:41,475
I'm gonna
recommend all you guys.
999
00:51:42,350 --> 00:51:43,850
'Cause I think that's only fair.
1000
00:51:45,771 --> 00:51:47,191
This is very unattractive.
1001
00:51:48,815 --> 00:51:50,525
Your little hat...
1002
00:51:51,318 --> 00:51:53,028
And your attitude.
1003
00:51:53,111 --> 00:51:55,111
This whole, like,
"I'm bigger than everybody."
1004
00:51:55,197 --> 00:51:56,657
It's like, you're just like us.
1005
00:51:57,240 --> 00:51:59,450
Your head is so big right now.
1006
00:51:59,534 --> 00:52:03,294
Your whole egocentric world...
1007
00:52:03,371 --> 00:52:05,621
You're completely unaware.
1008
00:52:09,169 --> 00:52:10,209
You are...
1009
00:52:13,340 --> 00:52:15,550
You are striking out
at me right now
1010
00:52:16,134 --> 00:52:18,644
and I don't understand why
because I already told you
1011
00:52:18,720 --> 00:52:21,810
all I can do
is submit your packet
1012
00:52:21,890 --> 00:52:23,520
and let the chips
fall where they may.
1013
00:52:47,332 --> 00:52:49,752
You know, I just don't
feel like he believes in me.
1014
00:52:49,835 --> 00:52:52,545
My dad always told me,
"The thing with an easy sell
1015
00:52:52,629 --> 00:52:55,219
"is that the thing has to
actually be easy to sell."
1016
00:52:55,882 --> 00:52:57,122
What does that even mean?
1017
00:52:57,467 --> 00:52:59,507
Like,
you have to have the goods.
1018
00:52:59,594 --> 00:53:01,354
Are you saying
I don't have the goods?
1019
00:53:01,388 --> 00:53:04,518
I'm saying you can work on
the goods instead of working on Jack.
1020
00:53:04,599 --> 00:53:05,929
Do the work.
1021
00:53:06,017 --> 00:53:07,687
Oh, I've been
working on the goods.
1022
00:53:09,271 --> 00:53:11,021
What are you doing?
1023
00:53:11,231 --> 00:53:14,441
Like, are you working right now?
Are you applying for anything?
1024
00:53:14,526 --> 00:53:16,316
Uh, unemployment.
1025
00:53:17,863 --> 00:53:19,363
Unemployment?
1026
00:53:19,531 --> 00:53:23,031
Your parents own a brownstone
on the Upper West Side.
1027
00:53:23,201 --> 00:53:25,791
Yeah, they do.
I'm separate from them.
1028
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,420
You go to therapy twice a week.
Who pays for that?
1029
00:53:30,083 --> 00:53:31,723
I'm not having
this conversation.
1030
00:53:32,961 --> 00:53:35,523
I just think it's weird that
you're the richest one among us
1031
00:53:35,547 --> 00:53:37,227
and you get checks
from the government that
1032
00:53:37,299 --> 00:53:40,299
we in some way pay for. Don't you
think that's true, Mr. COUGHLIN?
1033
00:53:40,385 --> 00:53:43,135
Miles, you gotta
let this one go.
1034
00:53:43,221 --> 00:53:44,221
Dog, dog!
1035
00:53:44,556 --> 00:53:46,236
Hey, look what I got for you!
1036
00:53:47,309 --> 00:53:49,559
My dad bought two tickets
1037
00:53:49,644 --> 00:53:53,154
to the Marshfield High School
production of Peter Pan.
1038
00:53:53,231 --> 00:53:55,151
Aw! You
look like Peter Pan.
1039
00:53:56,234 --> 00:53:58,704
Oh, I think
he's just nostalgic for
1040
00:53:58,778 --> 00:54:01,658
back when I was the star of every play.
You know?
1041
00:54:02,365 --> 00:54:03,985
When I was in high school,
1042
00:54:04,075 --> 00:54:07,245
I won the Eisner Award for
most promising cartoonist,
1043
00:54:07,329 --> 00:54:09,999
and I've never had one book published.
1044
00:54:11,625 --> 00:54:14,585
Data's working on this graphic novel.
It's amazing.
1045
00:54:14,669 --> 00:54:16,089
Mmm.
Oh, I don't know.
1046
00:54:16,171 --> 00:54:17,301
What's it about?
1047
00:54:18,423 --> 00:54:19,423
Okay.
1048
00:54:19,716 --> 00:54:23,756
So it's about this girl and
she lives in this small town
1049
00:54:23,845 --> 00:54:26,175
and then, well, she's a sculptor
1050
00:54:26,264 --> 00:54:27,854
and then the whole town
saves up money
1051
00:54:27,933 --> 00:54:29,683
and sends her to
the sculpture academy
1052
00:54:29,768 --> 00:54:32,648
and then when she gets there,
she never sculpts again.
1053
00:54:32,729 --> 00:54:33,899
Why not?
1054
00:54:33,980 --> 00:54:35,190
Because she's intimidated.
1055
00:54:36,691 --> 00:54:37,691
Can we read it?
1056
00:54:38,818 --> 00:54:40,858
Well, it's not done yet.
1057
00:55:02,133 --> 00:55:03,569
- Got your back.
- Got your back.
1058
00:55:03,593 --> 00:55:04,723
Got your back.
1059
00:55:04,803 --> 00:55:05,905
Got your back.
Got your back.
1060
00:55:05,929 --> 00:55:09,719
Got your back.
Got your back. Got your back.
1061
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:13,650
Please welcome The Commune!
1062
00:55:15,647 --> 00:55:16,927
We never even really left.
1063
00:55:16,982 --> 00:55:18,152
No.
1064
00:55:18,900 --> 00:55:21,070
Wow. You
just had to wish for us.
1065
00:55:26,950 --> 00:55:30,160
Here I am, 58 years
old and twice divorced
1066
00:55:30,245 --> 00:55:32,325
and finally
my imaginary friends return.
1067
00:55:37,335 --> 00:55:39,495
Even if
we're imaginary, we love you.
1068
00:55:39,587 --> 00:55:41,877
It's the only love
you've ever felt.
1069
00:55:41,965 --> 00:55:43,085
You guys...
1070
00:55:45,593 --> 00:55:48,513
You feel more real than you
did even when I was a kid.
1071
00:55:49,180 --> 00:55:52,180
You're such a great guy.
1072
00:55:52,267 --> 00:55:54,767
Sorry none of your wives
ever said that.
1073
00:56:00,817 --> 00:56:03,107
And the most important
thing is, don't think.
1074
00:56:03,194 --> 00:56:06,114
Del Close was the first one who said that.
It's everything.
1075
00:56:06,197 --> 00:56:07,925
You don't think, you don't
memorize, you don't...
1076
00:56:07,949 --> 00:56:09,029
You don't get paid.
1077
00:56:09,117 --> 00:56:12,827
Oh! Gary, so true. But isn't
that kinda fun, too? Right?
1078
00:56:12,954 --> 00:56:15,099
Aw. I remember that one.
What am I doing?
1079
00:56:15,123 --> 00:56:16,253
Oh, my God.
1080
00:56:16,875 --> 00:56:19,228
Remember that? ALLISON: Oh, yeah!
I totally remember that one.
1081
00:56:19,252 --> 00:56:20,252
Yeah.
1082
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:22,760
Let's use this box for storage.
1083
00:56:22,839 --> 00:56:24,025
So we'll just put stuff in here.
1084
00:56:24,049 --> 00:56:25,129
Okay.
1085
00:56:25,216 --> 00:56:26,676
We could wear them for pajamas.
1086
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:27,840
Nighttime with this.
1087
00:56:27,927 --> 00:56:30,057
Do I wanna dream in these
Improv For America shirts?
1088
00:56:30,472 --> 00:56:32,142
They were supposed to go...
Guys.
1089
00:56:32,766 --> 00:56:35,386
You're not gonna believe what I just found.
Do you remember this?
1090
00:56:35,643 --> 00:56:39,233
These tuxedos my dad gave us after
he bought out that dry cleaner?
1091
00:56:39,314 --> 00:56:41,234
We used to actually
wear these in shows.
1092
00:56:41,316 --> 00:56:43,566
All right, what are we thinking?
Storage or garbage?
1093
00:56:43,651 --> 00:56:46,491
Oh, no, storage.
People loved these.
1094
00:56:46,571 --> 00:56:48,241
Why'd we stop wearing them?
1095
00:56:48,323 --> 00:56:49,913
It's so small.
1096
00:56:50,617 --> 00:56:51,907
I'm so small.
1097
00:56:53,495 --> 00:56:54,945
They were fun to wear.
1098
00:56:55,288 --> 00:56:56,498
Not a bad idea.
1099
00:56:56,581 --> 00:57:00,841
I was seriously worried that other
teams were gonna rip off the idea.
1100
00:57:01,461 --> 00:57:04,171
Do you guys feel like this
whole process is kinda like
1101
00:57:04,923 --> 00:57:07,223
life telling us to
just maybe move on?
1102
00:57:08,593 --> 00:57:11,513
Your writing packet is
really good, you guys.
1103
00:57:11,596 --> 00:57:14,676
You know, like, Weekend Live
would be lucky to have you.
1104
00:57:14,933 --> 00:57:17,563
- Oh, my old... You don't want it?
- No.
1105
00:57:17,644 --> 00:57:21,114
I feel like your 20s
are all about, like, hope,
1106
00:57:21,189 --> 00:57:22,429
and then your 30s are all about
1107
00:57:22,482 --> 00:57:25,112
realizing how dumb
it was to hope.
1108
00:57:26,736 --> 00:57:28,946
Oh, my God. Look at you.
1109
00:57:29,322 --> 00:57:32,202
You look like a little
claymation seven-year-old.
1110
00:57:32,534 --> 00:57:34,914
- Wait, let me see.
- That's me, that's a boy.
1111
00:57:36,162 --> 00:57:39,462
Who is the one who looks
like he's made of flour and water?
1112
00:57:40,166 --> 00:57:41,956
I was 21 years old.
1113
00:57:42,919 --> 00:57:44,999
Like, without The Commune,
who am I?
1114
00:57:45,171 --> 00:57:47,631
You know, it's like
when I go to the grocery store
1115
00:57:47,715 --> 00:57:49,795
and people treat me
like I don't exist.
1116
00:57:49,884 --> 00:57:51,612
I'm in my head, I'm like,
"Well, I got a secret.
1117
00:57:51,636 --> 00:57:54,966
"I go onstage, I kill.
I crush, I'm a superhero."
1118
00:57:56,599 --> 00:57:58,139
But without improv...
1119
00:57:58,852 --> 00:58:00,402
I'm kinda just a loser.
1120
00:58:05,233 --> 00:58:07,169
So it was like
a silent meditation retreat?
1121
00:58:07,193 --> 00:58:10,823
Yeah. In Brazil.
And everyone was quiet.
1122
00:58:10,905 --> 00:58:12,065
Okay.
For days.
1123
00:58:12,157 --> 00:58:13,157
Okay.
1124
00:58:13,241 --> 00:58:14,491
It was incredible.
1125
00:58:14,576 --> 00:58:17,246
It was like I could hear myself
think for the first time,
1126
00:58:17,328 --> 00:58:18,748
I think, in my whole life.
1127
00:58:18,830 --> 00:58:20,580
I bet you got in
trouble for humming.
1128
00:58:20,999 --> 00:58:22,669
What do you mean?
'Cause you hum.
1129
00:58:22,750 --> 00:58:23,811
I remember that
from algebra class.
1130
00:58:23,835 --> 00:58:24,835
What?
1131
00:58:24,919 --> 00:58:27,589
Mrs. Green always used to get
mad because you would hum
1132
00:58:27,672 --> 00:58:28,972
while you were doing equations.
1133
00:58:29,048 --> 00:58:31,768
You'd get this faraway look in your
eye and you'd just start humming.
1134
00:58:31,801 --> 00:58:34,051
I could never figure out
what the song was.
1135
00:58:35,054 --> 00:58:37,024
Okay, you know
way too much about me.
1136
00:58:37,098 --> 00:58:38,325
Oh, that's the tip
of the iceberg.
1137
00:58:38,349 --> 00:58:40,689
No, you're freaking me out.
I'm onto you!
1138
00:58:40,768 --> 00:58:42,808
Now will you sleep
in my college dorm?
1139
00:58:42,896 --> 00:58:43,896
No!
1140
00:58:44,397 --> 00:58:45,607
I like you.
1141
00:58:45,940 --> 00:58:47,280
I like me, too.
1142
00:58:49,068 --> 00:58:51,698
You just said,
"I like me, too."
1143
00:58:52,363 --> 00:58:53,533
No, I didn't. No.
1144
00:58:53,615 --> 00:58:55,195
Yes, you did. You totally did.
1145
00:58:57,076 --> 00:58:58,786
The point is, I like you, too.
1146
00:58:58,953 --> 00:58:59,953
Mmm.
1147
00:59:00,538 --> 00:59:01,538
Oh, hey.
1148
00:59:01,623 --> 00:59:03,293
Hey. What's going on?
1149
00:59:05,460 --> 00:59:07,800
I snuck out early
to go to a pharmacy.
1150
00:59:10,548 --> 00:59:11,718
I'm pregnant.
1151
00:59:11,799 --> 00:59:12,969
Oh!
1152
00:59:13,051 --> 00:59:14,051
Um...
1153
00:59:15,470 --> 00:59:16,890
Great.
1154
00:59:16,971 --> 00:59:18,391
That was fast.
1155
00:59:18,806 --> 00:59:20,976
Usually it takes
1156
00:59:21,059 --> 00:59:22,769
at least four to six visits.
1157
00:59:22,852 --> 00:59:25,062
No, it's this guy
I met in Brazil.
1158
00:59:25,146 --> 00:59:26,266
I'm pretty sure.
1159
00:59:27,982 --> 00:59:30,612
The silent retreat guy?
1160
00:59:30,693 --> 00:59:31,693
Yeah.
1161
00:59:31,778 --> 00:59:35,658
The silent guy? You guys just
got straight to it, no talking?
1162
00:59:35,740 --> 00:59:38,490
Yeah. No words required.
1163
00:59:39,327 --> 00:59:40,327
Um...
1164
00:59:42,330 --> 00:59:43,830
Is he gonna be the dad, or...
1165
00:59:43,915 --> 00:59:46,325
No. He's young.
1166
00:59:47,794 --> 00:59:51,094
Young? 15? Illegal? What kinda thing?
I can keep a secret.
1167
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:58,890
The first thing I thought when I
found out was, I can't keep it.
1168
01:00:00,431 --> 01:00:01,681
But then it hit me.
1169
01:00:02,517 --> 01:00:03,597
I'm not 19.
1170
01:00:25,581 --> 01:00:26,871
I gotta tell you something.
1171
01:00:26,958 --> 01:00:27,958
Yeah?
1172
01:00:29,627 --> 01:00:30,627
I didn't...
1173
01:00:34,048 --> 01:00:35,468
What is it?
1174
01:00:35,550 --> 01:00:37,970
I didn't go to my
Weekend Live audition.
1175
01:00:38,678 --> 01:00:39,968
I just didn't go.
1176
01:00:40,805 --> 01:00:41,805
Why?
1177
01:00:42,807 --> 01:00:44,137
I mean, why?
Why wouldn't you go?
1178
01:00:44,225 --> 01:00:46,935
I don't know.
I freaked out. I...
1179
01:00:47,020 --> 01:00:49,110
Life is so short and I feel like
1180
01:00:49,188 --> 01:00:51,018
you have to do things
that you believe in
1181
01:00:51,149 --> 01:00:53,168
or what is the point of all of this?
All right, yeah.
1182
01:00:53,192 --> 01:00:56,112
And I watch that show
and it's not for me.
1183
01:00:56,195 --> 01:00:59,485
I like my life how it is right now.
I like The Commune.
1184
01:00:59,824 --> 01:01:01,584
I know, Sam. I know.
1185
01:01:02,577 --> 01:01:04,907
The day you guys asked me
to join The Commune
1186
01:01:04,996 --> 01:01:07,166
was the greatest day of my life.
1187
01:01:07,248 --> 01:01:08,918
It was the greatest day
of my life.
1188
01:01:10,001 --> 01:01:12,841
But honey, you can't do
improv forever, okay?
1189
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:15,010
It ends, all right?
And I don't want it
1190
01:01:15,089 --> 01:01:17,009
to end either, but it will.
It just will.
1191
01:01:17,091 --> 01:01:19,681
We've gotta jump to
the next lily pad.
1192
01:01:19,761 --> 01:01:21,511
But I like this lily pad.
1193
01:01:22,513 --> 01:01:24,643
Honestly,
you should be on this show.
1194
01:01:25,183 --> 01:01:26,353
You'd be better than me.
1195
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:28,600
Okay?
1196
01:01:35,151 --> 01:01:37,651
Think if, uh, I invited
the producers to come to
1197
01:01:37,737 --> 01:01:39,237
my improv show they would come?
1198
01:01:39,614 --> 01:01:41,704
'Cause I just want 'em to
see Sam again.
1199
01:01:41,783 --> 01:01:42,873
Okay.
1200
01:01:42,950 --> 01:01:44,590
I don't even wanna go
to your improv show.
1201
01:01:45,620 --> 01:01:48,370
The only universe
I see that happening in
1202
01:01:48,456 --> 01:01:51,376
is if you got the host to go,
then maybe they would tag along.
1203
01:01:57,382 --> 01:01:58,382
Zip!
Zap!
1204
01:01:58,466 --> 01:01:59,466
Zop!
Zip!
1205
01:01:59,509 --> 01:02:00,549
Zap!
Zop!
1206
01:02:00,635 --> 01:02:01,635
Zip!
Zap!
1207
01:02:01,928 --> 01:02:02,928
Wait, where's Miles?
1208
01:02:02,970 --> 01:02:04,970
He's in Naperville with Liz.
1209
01:02:05,473 --> 01:02:06,950
What are they doing?
1210
01:02:06,974 --> 01:02:08,614
The new guy
is sanding the walls.
1211
01:02:08,643 --> 01:02:10,233
Who's the new tenant?
1212
01:02:10,311 --> 01:02:11,651
Urban Outfitters.
1213
01:02:12,563 --> 01:02:14,923
Placards. Anyway, but it's a
really beautiful neighborhood
1214
01:02:14,982 --> 01:02:16,942
with great restaurants.
You know...
1215
01:02:17,026 --> 01:02:18,236
Zop! Zap!
Zip!
1216
01:02:18,319 --> 01:02:20,069
Zop! Zap!
Zip!
1217
01:02:20,154 --> 01:02:21,164
Sorry.
1218
01:02:21,239 --> 01:02:22,679
You know what?
We should get onstage.
1219
01:02:22,740 --> 01:02:23,830
All right.
You sure?
1220
01:02:23,908 --> 01:02:27,408
Got your back. Got your back.
Got your back. Got your back.
1221
01:02:27,662 --> 01:02:30,082
And we are The Commune!
1222
01:02:33,793 --> 01:02:36,423
Uh, has anyone had
a particularly hard day?
1223
01:02:36,879 --> 01:02:38,049
Do the ticket taker guy!
1224
01:02:41,551 --> 01:02:44,851
That's a character that
Jack played on TV, yeah.
1225
01:02:44,929 --> 01:02:46,679
Uh, could we get
a different suggestion?
1226
01:02:46,931 --> 01:02:48,311
Weekend Live!
1227
01:02:49,976 --> 01:02:54,516
That is the name of a television show.
You nailed that. Um...
1228
01:02:56,816 --> 01:02:58,106
Anything...
1229
01:02:58,192 --> 01:02:59,692
Anything else?
1230
01:02:59,777 --> 01:03:00,947
Ben Stiller?
1231
01:03:01,028 --> 01:03:02,198
Ben Stiller.
1232
01:03:02,530 --> 01:03:05,830
Ben Stiller is a member of
tonight's audience, correct.
1233
01:03:06,242 --> 01:03:09,872
Yeah, I'm not... Yeah.
1234
01:03:09,954 --> 01:03:11,414
Uh...
1235
01:03:11,914 --> 01:03:14,714
Anything about
a personal hard day?
1236
01:03:15,918 --> 01:03:17,588
Something that happened to you?
1237
01:03:23,176 --> 01:03:24,176
Uh...
1238
01:03:27,472 --> 01:03:30,062
Here, here!
I got a bushel of tickets!
1239
01:03:35,980 --> 01:03:39,570
I mean, there's no show, but
I got tickets!
1240
01:03:39,817 --> 01:03:42,237
I got tickets!
1241
01:03:43,112 --> 01:03:45,412
Holy mackerel, look at you!
1242
01:03:45,656 --> 01:03:49,156
Is that Gena Rowlands,
the actress?
1243
01:03:55,291 --> 01:04:00,001
It's not. I'm just
a regular ticket-loving lady.
1244
01:04:01,672 --> 01:04:04,132
You're telling me
you're not Gena Rowlands, huh?
1245
01:04:04,217 --> 01:04:08,427
I'm telling you
I'm not Gena Rowlands.
1246
01:04:08,596 --> 01:04:11,096
This is my improv group.
This is Ben, guys.
1247
01:04:11,182 --> 01:04:12,602
Hi, I'm Ben. How's it going?
Hi.
1248
01:04:12,683 --> 01:04:15,773
Great show. Great show, you guys
were great. Really, really funny.
1249
01:04:15,853 --> 01:04:18,023
Uh, thanks, but you
don't have to say that.
1250
01:04:18,648 --> 01:04:20,438
No, I know
I don't have to say it.
1251
01:04:20,983 --> 01:04:22,073
Right. Right.
1252
01:04:22,151 --> 01:04:23,191
You guys were great.
1253
01:04:24,153 --> 01:04:26,953
Okay, I'm sorry, I have to
ask, I've always wondered.
1254
01:04:27,281 --> 01:04:29,701
Like, when you wake up in the
morning, are you just like,
1255
01:04:29,867 --> 01:04:32,697
- "Oh, my God, I'm Ben Stiller"?
- Um...
1256
01:04:34,080 --> 01:04:36,870
Yeah. Probably in the same way you
wake up in the morning and go,
1257
01:04:37,500 --> 01:04:38,700
"I'm Allison."
1258
01:04:38,876 --> 01:04:42,046
In Heavyweights and Dodgeball
and Reality Bites,
1259
01:04:42,129 --> 01:04:45,049
you've never shied away from
playing an unlikable character.
1260
01:04:45,132 --> 01:04:47,972
Like,
what gives you that courage?
1261
01:04:48,052 --> 01:04:49,512
Um... Wow.
1262
01:04:50,763 --> 01:04:54,313
You know, I never really thought
of myself as unlikable, but...
1263
01:04:54,392 --> 01:04:55,982
Oh... I didn't...
You're not.
1264
01:04:56,060 --> 01:04:58,900
No, no, no, I'm just saying
as the character, obviously...
1265
01:04:59,272 --> 01:05:00,312
You know.
1266
01:05:00,898 --> 01:05:04,148
Did you think that the Reality
Bites guy was unlikable?
1267
01:05:04,527 --> 01:05:07,447
My question is who wrote the Eddie
Munster sketch? Did you write it?
1268
01:05:08,072 --> 01:05:10,662
Uh, yeah, yeah.
With my buddy, Jeff Kahn.
1269
01:05:10,741 --> 01:05:12,291
That's the best sketch.
1270
01:05:12,368 --> 01:05:13,637
That's such a...
It was the best.
1271
01:05:13,661 --> 01:05:14,911
Long time ago.
1272
01:05:14,996 --> 01:05:16,515
I didn't think
you were unlikable in that.
1273
01:05:16,539 --> 01:05:18,419
Oh, no, no, no.
I know. I mean, I'm just...
1274
01:05:18,541 --> 01:05:20,227
Is the bathroom right over here?
Yeah, right over there.
1275
01:05:20,251 --> 01:05:22,104
All right, be right back. Yeah?
Just go to the right there.
1276
01:05:22,128 --> 01:05:23,128
Guys.
This is awesome.
1277
01:05:23,170 --> 01:05:24,210
It's great.
1278
01:05:24,338 --> 01:05:27,588
Please don't ask so many questions, okay?
This isn't 60 Minutes.
1279
01:05:29,343 --> 01:05:30,343
Wow.
1280
01:05:32,013 --> 01:05:35,933
My students just arrived. I see
Gary and some of the other guys,
1281
01:05:36,017 --> 01:05:37,597
so I'm gonna go
hang out with them.
1282
01:05:37,685 --> 01:05:39,345
Why? Why? Why?
1283
01:05:39,437 --> 01:05:41,687
'Cause I don't wanna
get scolded tonight.
1284
01:05:42,481 --> 01:05:44,191
I'm not gonna scold you.
Why, was I...
1285
01:05:44,275 --> 01:05:45,355
Am I scolding?
1286
01:05:45,443 --> 01:05:47,783
I don't understand, I was...
Was I scolding you guys?
1287
01:05:47,862 --> 01:05:49,742
Wait, don't sit here.
Ben'll sit here.
1288
01:05:52,158 --> 01:05:53,328
No, no.
1289
01:05:53,534 --> 01:05:55,294
There are two types
of bad shows.
1290
01:05:55,369 --> 01:05:56,680
There's the type
of bad show where
1291
01:05:56,704 --> 01:05:58,294
you all sell
each other out onstage
1292
01:05:58,372 --> 01:05:59,792
and nobody hangs out afterwards
1293
01:05:59,874 --> 01:06:01,384
and then there's
the type of bad show
1294
01:06:01,667 --> 01:06:03,087
where you all go down together
1295
01:06:03,169 --> 01:06:05,959
and then you come to the bar
afterwards and you laugh about it.
1296
01:06:06,047 --> 01:06:08,487
And that is the type of bad show
that I want you guys to have.
1297
01:06:08,549 --> 01:06:10,219
Yeah, no, yeah,
we do that all the time.
1298
01:06:10,301 --> 01:06:11,971
You gotta love each other, okay?
1299
01:06:12,053 --> 01:06:14,473
You gotta be
willing to be broke.
1300
01:06:14,555 --> 01:06:17,925
You gotta be willing
to hit rock bottom.
1301
01:06:18,017 --> 01:06:19,637
Together!
Oh, we're definitely broke.
1302
01:06:19,727 --> 01:06:21,371
I mean, we all share
a one bedroom in Bushwick.
1303
01:06:21,395 --> 01:06:22,623
It's terrible, so I mean, we...
1304
01:06:22,647 --> 01:06:23,687
Way to own it, guys!
1305
01:06:23,773 --> 01:06:25,023
This is a game called Blurt.
1306
01:06:25,107 --> 01:06:26,585
You pick one person,
you say the first thing
1307
01:06:26,609 --> 01:06:27,989
about them that
comes to your mind.
1308
01:06:28,069 --> 01:06:29,699
Connor. Go!
You're fat.
1309
01:06:29,779 --> 01:06:31,048
You're dangerous.
You're a little slow.
1310
01:06:31,072 --> 01:06:32,492
Uh, this game hurts my feelings.
1311
01:06:32,657 --> 01:06:34,134
20 years from now,
oceans are gonna rise
1312
01:06:34,158 --> 01:06:35,488
and wipe out
the Eastern Seaboard
1313
01:06:35,576 --> 01:06:36,970
and no one's gonna care
who made what album
1314
01:06:36,994 --> 01:06:38,722
whereas the Beach Boys
has already had a 50-year run.
1315
01:06:38,746 --> 01:06:40,307
I mean, we're still talking
about Pet Sounds now
1316
01:06:40,331 --> 01:06:41,921
and that came out, what, in '67?
1317
01:06:41,999 --> 01:06:43,919
No, nobody's
talking about Pet Sounds.
1318
01:06:44,085 --> 01:06:46,229
But in 2050, are people
gonna know who Drake is?
1319
01:06:46,253 --> 01:06:47,923
Once the Eastern
Seaboard's flooded
1320
01:06:48,005 --> 01:06:50,400
are you gonna care about the Beach Boys?
I would argue that...
1321
01:06:50,424 --> 01:06:52,152
Yeah, more! More! Surfing
songs will be more relevant.
1322
01:06:52,176 --> 01:06:53,856
Because there'd be
more water surface area.
1323
01:06:53,928 --> 01:06:54,928
Yeah.
1324
01:07:23,416 --> 01:07:26,036
Uh, these are
some writing samples
1325
01:07:26,127 --> 01:07:28,377
from some of
the improvisers in my group
1326
01:07:28,462 --> 01:07:31,302
and they're really
a talented bunch of guys.
1327
01:07:31,757 --> 01:07:34,047
I just wondered if you
wanted to look at 'em.
1328
01:07:34,510 --> 01:07:36,220
Jack, you should
worry about yourself.
1329
01:07:36,637 --> 01:07:37,637
Oh, okay.
1330
01:07:39,849 --> 01:07:42,729
I'm cutting you from
Jugglers with Vertigo.
1331
01:07:44,145 --> 01:07:45,475
Oh, okay.
1332
01:07:46,605 --> 01:07:49,475
You know, you're not
what we call a pure talent.
1333
01:07:49,567 --> 01:07:51,027
You're not a virtuoso.
1334
01:07:52,236 --> 01:07:55,736
You're the kind of player
who should write for himself.
1335
01:07:58,284 --> 01:08:01,664
And if I don't get it, then I'll
move to Naperville with you guys.
1336
01:08:04,373 --> 01:08:05,373
Miles.
1337
01:08:06,125 --> 01:08:07,585
No. You don't...
1338
01:08:08,127 --> 01:08:10,667
This isn't for you.
This is...
1339
01:08:11,922 --> 01:08:14,432
No, this is for me.
I'm just...
1340
01:08:15,342 --> 01:08:17,012
Maybe give me a chance?
1341
01:08:18,471 --> 01:08:19,471
Come on.
1342
01:08:20,139 --> 01:08:21,519
If it's a boy
1343
01:08:22,141 --> 01:08:24,021
we name him Rodrigo.
1344
01:08:26,228 --> 01:08:28,518
To respect his Brazilian roots.
1345
01:08:28,606 --> 01:08:29,936
Rodrigo.
1346
01:08:31,317 --> 01:08:34,197
Have an open mind.
I know when you look at me,
1347
01:08:34,278 --> 01:08:36,858
I get what you're seeing,
but I'm also...
1348
01:08:36,947 --> 01:08:39,947
I want to think that
I can be better than that.
1349
01:08:45,247 --> 01:08:48,957
Tickets are now on sale
for our show this weekend
1350
01:08:49,043 --> 01:08:50,633
at the 45th Street Lounge.
1351
01:08:58,260 --> 01:08:59,800
Will Jack be there?
1352
01:08:59,887 --> 01:09:01,307
Uh, no,
he has a show that night,
1353
01:09:01,388 --> 01:09:05,058
but this is kind of like
a test run for a longer run.
1354
01:09:05,142 --> 01:09:06,822
And if it goes well,
we'll have more shows,
1355
01:09:06,894 --> 01:09:09,064
and then Jack will
definitely be at those.
1356
01:09:09,396 --> 01:09:11,606
Oh!
Oh!
1357
01:09:12,066 --> 01:09:14,426
You wouldn't "aww" if you knew him better.
1358
01:09:14,902 --> 01:09:16,492
How much are tickets?
1359
01:09:16,570 --> 01:09:19,820
They're $45, but down the road
there may be discounts.
1360
01:09:19,907 --> 01:09:22,327
Uh, but don't wait for down
the road, okay, 'cause, uh,
1361
01:09:22,409 --> 01:09:25,289
we don't know that there's
gonna be a road to go down.
1362
01:09:25,371 --> 01:09:26,461
So please come.
1363
01:09:26,539 --> 01:09:28,169
And we know that's
more expensive than
1364
01:09:28,249 --> 01:09:29,749
you're used to
paying for our shows,
1365
01:09:29,834 --> 01:09:34,094
but, um, you know, we promise
that it'll be of a high quality
1366
01:09:34,171 --> 01:09:37,421
and we're just trying to
keep the thing alive, so...
1367
01:09:38,342 --> 01:09:39,512
Uh, thanks.
1368
01:09:40,719 --> 01:09:44,009
Okay. Anybody had
a particularly hard day?
1369
01:09:44,473 --> 01:09:46,523
Yeah, we're sad Jack's not here.
1370
01:09:56,819 --> 01:09:59,359
He was a very good man.
1371
01:10:01,574 --> 01:10:03,784
Loved him.
I loved him so much.
1372
01:10:04,577 --> 01:10:06,037
He died so young. Um...
1373
01:10:06,120 --> 01:10:08,460
But not as young
as you think he is.
1374
01:10:08,622 --> 01:10:11,252
And he also had bad skin.
1375
01:10:11,333 --> 01:10:13,343
Mmm.
1376
01:10:14,211 --> 01:10:15,551
I miss him.
1377
01:10:15,629 --> 01:10:18,719
When you talked to him, he would
"uh-huh" and really be there
1378
01:10:18,799 --> 01:10:21,719
and you could almost forget that
he was just waiting for you
1379
01:10:21,802 --> 01:10:23,302
to stop talking
so he could talk.
1380
01:10:23,387 --> 01:10:24,427
Yeah.
1381
01:10:24,722 --> 01:10:26,602
Friends, I have terrible news.
1382
01:10:26,682 --> 01:10:28,482
Worse than Jack being dead?
1383
01:10:31,228 --> 01:10:34,228
Um, it turns out Jack is
really popular in heaven.
1384
01:10:34,315 --> 01:10:37,815
And, uh, his new friends
1385
01:10:37,902 --> 01:10:39,902
are having
a funeral for him there.
1386
01:10:39,987 --> 01:10:41,237
In heaven?
1387
01:10:41,405 --> 01:10:43,025
Uh, yeah, in Brooklyn.
1388
01:10:44,366 --> 01:10:46,156
And, uh, they have his body.
1389
01:10:46,493 --> 01:10:47,583
- What?
- Yeah.
1390
01:10:47,661 --> 01:10:49,411
What's in this casket?
1391
01:10:50,039 --> 01:10:51,789
Uh, it's just his headshot.
1392
01:11:12,311 --> 01:11:13,851
Let me help you with that there.
1393
01:11:16,148 --> 01:11:18,438
You got a memento
from the theater there, huh?
1394
01:11:18,817 --> 01:11:21,487
Maybe I'll keep
the theater going somewhere.
1395
01:11:29,870 --> 01:11:32,000
Okay. I gotta go to work.
1396
01:11:41,423 --> 01:11:43,633
We've got
"Scooby-Doo gets put down."
1397
01:11:43,717 --> 01:11:45,637
"Kim JONG-un on
The Bachelorette."
1398
01:11:45,719 --> 01:11:48,559
They're not getting on.
1399
01:11:48,639 --> 01:11:50,719
Is there anything
from your live shows?
1400
01:11:50,808 --> 01:11:52,848
Any, like,
go-to characters you do?
1401
01:12:11,370 --> 01:12:14,330
All right, so we're in
the red. Live and learn.
1402
01:12:14,873 --> 01:12:16,083
You can keep that.
1403
01:12:19,712 --> 01:12:22,922
I heard from my guy at Weekend
Live about your writing sample.
1404
01:12:23,090 --> 01:12:25,260
It's not gonna happen
for you there, Miles.
1405
01:12:34,601 --> 01:12:36,101
Did you talk to Bonnie?
1406
01:12:36,186 --> 01:12:38,606
Yeah. We didn't get it.
1407
01:12:39,857 --> 01:12:41,527
So all of us got rejected?
1408
01:12:42,568 --> 01:12:43,688
Fuck.
1409
01:12:46,572 --> 01:12:49,872
It's got two bedrooms, new
kitchen, beautiful bathroom.
1410
01:12:50,951 --> 01:12:52,201
Is that a toilet?
1411
01:12:52,703 --> 01:12:55,163
Well, obviously the bathroom
is in the kitchen.
1412
01:12:55,247 --> 01:12:56,667
Oh.
1413
01:12:56,749 --> 01:12:58,999
And then who are they?
1414
01:12:59,334 --> 01:13:01,004
Oh! Those are
two small orphans.
1415
01:13:01,462 --> 01:13:02,712
Hi.
Hi.
1416
01:13:04,256 --> 01:13:05,296
Orphans?
1417
01:13:05,966 --> 01:13:08,296
The apartment comes
with these two orphans.
1418
01:13:09,636 --> 01:13:10,822
But you can put
a piece of furniture
1419
01:13:10,846 --> 01:13:11,948
in front of 'em if you want to.
1420
01:13:11,972 --> 01:13:13,392
Maybe put 'em in a hamper.
1421
01:13:14,224 --> 01:13:15,484
He can't do that.
1422
01:13:15,559 --> 01:13:17,639
And does the landlord
mind if I paint?
1423
01:13:18,062 --> 01:13:20,522
We've been
replaced by Ben Stiller.
1424
01:13:24,818 --> 01:13:26,898
Fuck that!
I'm goin' to the party.
1425
01:13:54,848 --> 01:13:56,018
Hey, Jack!
1426
01:13:56,100 --> 01:13:57,140
Oh, excuse me. One second.
1427
01:13:57,267 --> 01:13:58,517
Miles, what's goin' on?
1428
01:13:59,478 --> 01:14:00,648
What are you guys doing here?
1429
01:14:00,729 --> 01:14:01,729
We saw the show tonight.
1430
01:14:01,814 --> 01:14:03,333
One of those sketches looked
pretty familiar, actually.
1431
01:14:03,357 --> 01:14:04,667
We can talk about this,
but not right here.
1432
01:14:04,691 --> 01:14:06,586
No, right now! Why don't you
just grab a drink, hang out.
1433
01:14:06,610 --> 01:14:08,379
Everything okay, Jack?
We're fine. We're good.
1434
01:14:08,403 --> 01:14:09,783
You're a fucking thief!
1435
01:14:09,863 --> 01:14:11,007
Miles, you know what?
You don't understand
1436
01:14:11,031 --> 01:14:12,371
how hard this job is, okay?
1437
01:14:12,449 --> 01:14:14,539
I have tried to sell you.
It is not easy. Ow!
1438
01:14:14,618 --> 01:14:16,346
Oh, my God! Are you okay?
I'm fine, I'm fine.
1439
01:14:16,370 --> 01:14:18,160
Okay, you're goin' outside.
Hey! Hey!
1440
01:14:18,247 --> 01:14:19,497
I don't respond to that.
1441
01:14:19,581 --> 01:14:21,421
What?
Hold on, what's going on?
1442
01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:28,090
Wow! Jesus!
1443
01:14:28,173 --> 01:14:30,133
Miles,
that wasn't the fuckin' plan.
1444
01:14:30,217 --> 01:14:31,547
That's just how I felt.
I'm sorry.
1445
01:14:31,635 --> 01:14:33,295
What the fuck, Miles?
1446
01:14:33,929 --> 01:14:36,309
What happened?
I stuck up for all of us.
1447
01:14:36,390 --> 01:14:37,810
And I'm goin' back in there!
1448
01:14:38,142 --> 01:14:40,062
You fucking psycho!
1449
01:14:40,144 --> 01:14:41,524
Miles, just relax.
1450
01:14:41,603 --> 01:14:42,653
Where were you?
1451
01:14:43,480 --> 01:14:44,570
I was out here.
1452
01:14:44,940 --> 01:14:46,110
Doing what?
1453
01:14:48,026 --> 01:14:52,276
I didn't wanna embarrass myself
in front of my co-workers.
1454
01:14:55,534 --> 01:14:56,914
What does that mean?
1455
01:14:58,412 --> 01:15:00,252
I got the writing job
on Weekend Live.
1456
01:15:01,165 --> 01:15:02,995
Motherfucker!
1457
01:15:04,501 --> 01:15:06,251
They gave it to you?
1458
01:15:06,920 --> 01:15:09,720
You didn't even tell us you
were submitting. That is so weird.
1459
01:15:09,756 --> 01:15:12,426
We showed you our packet.
We showed you our shit
1460
01:15:12,509 --> 01:15:14,009
and you didn't even say a thing?
1461
01:15:14,094 --> 01:15:16,239
I didn't think I was gonna
get it, and I was embarrassed.
1462
01:15:16,263 --> 01:15:17,615
That is so shady.
And you're not
1463
01:15:17,639 --> 01:15:19,179
even gonna last
five minutes there.
1464
01:15:19,266 --> 01:15:21,096
'Cause you have no work ethic.
1465
01:15:21,602 --> 01:15:22,602
Bill's right.
1466
01:15:24,021 --> 01:15:25,691
You've taken
nine years and you still
1467
01:15:25,772 --> 01:15:27,942
haven't finished
your doodle book.
1468
01:15:38,410 --> 01:15:42,790
I think what kills me is that you don't
even know what it's like to work.
1469
01:15:43,457 --> 01:15:44,917
You've had
everything in your life
1470
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:46,500
handed to you
on a silver platter.
1471
01:15:47,377 --> 01:15:50,207
I didn't get handed this! I
turned in a writing submission
1472
01:15:50,297 --> 01:15:51,547
and it was good!
1473
01:15:56,845 --> 01:15:59,055
No one wants to say this, Miles,
1474
01:15:59,973 --> 01:16:01,393
but you don't have it.
1475
01:16:04,269 --> 01:16:07,729
You were never
inches away from anything.
1476
01:16:10,150 --> 01:16:11,530
Fuck you, Lindsay.
1477
01:16:11,610 --> 01:16:14,570
You won't, 'cause I'm not 22
and I'm not your student.
1478
01:16:48,021 --> 01:16:49,901
You gotta let go, Miles.
1479
01:16:51,900 --> 01:16:54,610
All this Weekend Live
shit is meaningless.
1480
01:16:55,696 --> 01:16:57,026
You've got The Commune.
1481
01:16:59,408 --> 01:17:02,578
We only got one more show.
I don't wanna do it alone.
1482
01:17:10,127 --> 01:17:12,797
Please welcome The Commune!
1483
01:17:40,073 --> 01:17:43,413
Has anybody had
a particularly hard day?
1484
01:17:44,870 --> 01:17:46,000
Yeah, you have.
1485
01:17:51,043 --> 01:17:52,043
You're right.
1486
01:17:53,211 --> 01:17:55,841
You're right.
I have had a hard...
1487
01:17:58,050 --> 01:17:59,050
Month.
1488
01:18:02,804 --> 01:18:04,604
And I just feel like I'm...
1489
01:18:09,353 --> 01:18:11,273
I feel like I'm in a...
1490
01:18:15,025 --> 01:18:16,025
Guys!
1491
01:18:16,818 --> 01:18:20,028
I'm down here! I'm in a well!
1492
01:18:21,531 --> 01:18:23,201
Sam is in a well?
1493
01:18:23,283 --> 01:18:25,993
Oh, my God, this is a disaster!
1494
01:18:27,287 --> 01:18:29,182
Oh, no, she's in a well!
Oh, what will we do?
1495
01:18:29,206 --> 01:18:31,706
She's in a well, oh, my God!
It's so bad, it's so bad!
1496
01:18:32,167 --> 01:18:35,127
Guys, stop
worrying about me. I'm fine. I...
1497
01:18:35,754 --> 01:18:37,964
I actually kinda
like it down here.
1498
01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:42,220
It's quiet and it's cool.
1499
01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:46,560
There's water.
1500
01:18:48,767 --> 01:18:50,687
Oh! Ow.
1501
01:18:51,311 --> 01:18:53,611
Ow. Is somebody
throwing pennies?
1502
01:18:54,189 --> 01:18:57,149
Um, sorry, milady.
1503
01:18:57,317 --> 01:19:02,157
I was making a wish
for my dying Aunt Fiona.
1504
01:19:02,739 --> 01:19:04,119
Oh!
1505
01:19:04,199 --> 01:19:08,869
That's an unplaceable accent
you've got there.
1506
01:19:10,956 --> 01:19:14,376
But if it's for your
sick Aunt Fiona, please.
1507
01:19:16,628 --> 01:19:18,508
Is that my boyfriend Jack?
1508
01:19:19,214 --> 01:19:21,734
Yeah. What do you need?
I'll get it for you, I got it.
1509
01:19:21,758 --> 01:19:24,928
No, I... I'm fine.
1510
01:19:25,011 --> 01:19:27,181
That's what I want you to
know, is that I'm fine.
1511
01:19:27,264 --> 01:19:29,774
You don't have
to worry about me.
1512
01:19:29,850 --> 01:19:31,370
I'm not worried
about you, honey.
1513
01:19:31,476 --> 01:19:35,016
I'm not worried at all. I'm just
here to support you.
1514
01:19:35,105 --> 01:19:36,105
Uh...
1515
01:19:36,815 --> 01:19:37,815
Hey.
1516
01:19:38,984 --> 01:19:41,114
What's goin' on?
1517
01:19:41,820 --> 01:19:46,200
Did you, uh, fall in a well?
1518
01:19:47,033 --> 01:19:48,123
I did.
1519
01:19:48,201 --> 01:19:50,581
Ah! Yes,
because that's... Yes.
1520
01:19:50,662 --> 01:19:56,042
Uh, but you don't have to worry about
me, because I like it down here.
1521
01:19:56,376 --> 01:19:59,876
No, I will not leave you, okay?
I'm lowering down the bucket.
1522
01:19:59,963 --> 01:20:02,133
Oh, you could never
pull me up, though.
1523
01:20:02,215 --> 01:20:04,925
I have very heavy bones.
1524
01:20:05,510 --> 01:20:08,050
I'm fully aware of that,
and I took precautions.
1525
01:20:08,138 --> 01:20:10,450
Those magical beans that were sitting
on the counter this morning?
1526
01:20:10,474 --> 01:20:12,394
I ate those and they
gave me super strength.
1527
01:20:12,476 --> 01:20:13,756
Honey, I'm so sorry to tell you,
1528
01:20:13,810 --> 01:20:16,100
but those were just
black beans from Chipotle.
1529
01:20:17,814 --> 01:20:20,654
Right.
But the good thing is that
1530
01:20:20,734 --> 01:20:24,704
I hired a wizard, who was
surprisingly affordable
1531
01:20:25,030 --> 01:20:27,240
and he cast a spell
over those beans
1532
01:20:27,324 --> 01:20:29,164
and now I have super strength.
1533
01:20:30,285 --> 01:20:33,325
I'm just saying, you know,
I am not gonna leave you.
1534
01:20:38,919 --> 01:20:39,919
Sam.
1535
01:20:46,051 --> 01:20:47,091
Honey.
1536
01:20:49,596 --> 01:20:51,556
Maybe I belong in the well.
1537
01:20:55,852 --> 01:20:57,692
I think we both know it's over.
1538
01:20:59,606 --> 01:21:00,936
It's okay.
1539
01:21:06,112 --> 01:21:07,452
Del Close once said,
1540
01:21:07,531 --> 01:21:09,951
"Watching great improv
is like watching
1541
01:21:10,033 --> 01:21:13,123
"people put the plane together
when they're already in the sky."
1542
01:21:15,622 --> 01:21:19,382
It's not meant to last,
except as an act of love.
1543
01:21:20,877 --> 01:21:23,297
It passes in a moment
and disappears.
1544
01:21:32,639 --> 01:21:34,269
Hello, hello!
1545
01:21:34,349 --> 01:21:35,889
Oh, my God.
1546
01:21:36,810 --> 01:21:38,730
Hi.
Oh, my gosh!
1547
01:21:38,812 --> 01:21:40,402
You're great!
1548
01:21:40,480 --> 01:21:42,110
Oh! He's sad!
1549
01:21:42,190 --> 01:21:43,730
Oh! Don't cry!
Don't be sad!
1550
01:21:43,817 --> 01:21:45,317
You're in America.
1551
01:21:55,203 --> 01:21:59,083
Before Weekend Live and
Second City and ImprovOlympic
1552
01:21:59,165 --> 01:22:02,165
and all the TV shows that came
out of these theater movements,
1553
01:22:02,252 --> 01:22:04,592
Viola Spolin and
Paul Sills and Del Close
1554
01:22:04,671 --> 01:22:07,261
and a bunch of people
in Chicago and San Francisco
1555
01:22:07,340 --> 01:22:10,390
in the 1950s and '60s
created this art form.
1556
01:22:10,552 --> 01:22:11,972
My dad lived
one kind of lifestyle,
1557
01:22:12,053 --> 01:22:14,063
I live a very
different lifestyle.
1558
01:22:14,848 --> 01:22:17,728
He didn't always understand me,
but he always respected me.
1559
01:22:18,310 --> 01:22:20,110
- I
- loved that about my dad.
1560
01:22:21,479 --> 01:22:23,269
The last six months,
I got to know my dad
1561
01:22:23,356 --> 01:22:25,476
better than the rest
of our lives combined.
1562
01:22:25,692 --> 01:22:27,992
Listen, I'll be on the next
train home, all right?
1563
01:22:28,153 --> 01:22:30,743
It's not even gonna make dress,
so don't worry about it. Bye.
1564
01:22:31,865 --> 01:22:34,195
Hey, great service.
Thank you so much, Father.
1565
01:22:34,367 --> 01:22:36,867
That was great.
I missed just a tiny bit.
1566
01:22:38,079 --> 01:22:39,079
Thanks, buddy.
1567
01:22:39,247 --> 01:22:41,367
Wait, so who wins Jenga?
1568
01:22:43,627 --> 01:22:45,207
Hey, guys.
Hey.
1569
01:22:45,378 --> 01:22:48,968
Thanks for making it down. I know
it's not very convenient, so...
1570
01:22:49,049 --> 01:22:51,179
Yeah, buddy, absolutely, man.
1571
01:22:52,636 --> 01:22:55,556
Thanks for letting me and Liz and
Rodrigo crash in the guest room.
1572
01:22:55,639 --> 01:22:56,889
Yeah, no sweat, man.
1573
01:22:57,057 --> 01:22:58,637
He has your eyes, you know?
1574
01:22:59,851 --> 01:23:01,391
Not my biological son.
1575
01:23:01,561 --> 01:23:04,061
I don't know.
You look pretty Brazilian.
1576
01:23:04,314 --> 01:23:08,034
Yeah, and the consistency
of the hair is uncanny.
1577
01:23:09,986 --> 01:23:11,339
"Thank you."
1578
01:23:11,363 --> 01:23:12,573
Aw, man!
1579
01:23:12,656 --> 01:23:15,526
That is entirely unacceptable.
He's dead.
1580
01:23:15,784 --> 01:23:17,834
That's a dead man
you're mocking.
1581
01:23:17,911 --> 01:23:21,081
ALLISON, LINDSAY AND SAM: "Thank you."
1582
01:23:21,206 --> 01:23:24,166
Um, I just called
a car to come get Jack,
1583
01:23:24,250 --> 01:23:25,540
bring him to the train station,
1584
01:23:25,627 --> 01:23:27,855
so maybe we'll wait outside for
that, and then after that,
1585
01:23:27,879 --> 01:23:29,379
I can show you guys the theater.
1586
01:23:30,256 --> 01:23:32,426
Oh, yeah? What's the theater?
1587
01:23:32,509 --> 01:23:36,009
Well, my dad actually
bought this old porn theater
1588
01:23:36,096 --> 01:23:40,016
and we're gonna fix it up,
turn it into an improv space.
1589
01:23:40,100 --> 01:23:42,140
Yeah, we're gonna
teach and have shows.
1590
01:23:42,227 --> 01:23:44,307
We're actually doing a show
for Data's graphic novel.
1591
01:23:44,354 --> 01:23:46,114
- Oh!
- You finished it.
1592
01:23:46,272 --> 01:23:48,112
- Yeah.
- Thatta girl.
1593
01:23:49,818 --> 01:23:51,458
- Well, that's you, Jack.
- Yeah.
1594
01:23:51,861 --> 01:23:53,611
Well, here we go, guys.
1595
01:23:53,905 --> 01:23:56,025
Bye, Jack. Have a good one.
See ya.
1596
01:23:56,116 --> 01:23:57,486
See ya, see ya. Bye-bye.
1597
01:24:04,416 --> 01:24:05,726
You know,
I think maybe I'll go to
1598
01:24:05,750 --> 01:24:07,500
the theater with you guys.
How 'bout that?
1599
01:24:07,585 --> 01:24:09,915
No. It's the last train to New York.
You gotta get on it.
1600
01:24:10,046 --> 01:24:12,626
Yeah, but... You know
you're cutting it close.
1601
01:24:22,267 --> 01:24:23,597
We love you, pal.
1602
01:24:26,187 --> 01:24:28,067
All right,
I'll see you Monday at work.
1603
01:24:30,775 --> 01:24:31,775
Billy.
1604
01:24:35,113 --> 01:24:36,243
Got your back.
1605
01:24:40,410 --> 01:24:41,490
Bye.
1606
01:25:18,740 --> 01:25:20,740
Wow.
1607
01:25:21,785 --> 01:25:23,325
Come on!
1608
01:25:23,536 --> 01:25:26,956
Well, it needs a lot
of work, but it's ours.
1609
01:25:27,040 --> 01:25:29,250
We get to
program the whole thing
1610
01:25:29,334 --> 01:25:30,814
and we're just
gonna try to find some,
1611
01:25:30,877 --> 01:25:32,207
like, local kids who are hungry,
1612
01:25:32,295 --> 01:25:34,545
try to build a scene
here in town, you know?
1613
01:25:35,048 --> 01:25:37,628
Has anyone had
a particularly hard day?
1614
01:25:39,010 --> 01:25:40,050
You.
1615
01:25:41,012 --> 01:25:43,562
I buried my dad.
1616
01:25:43,640 --> 01:25:44,640
Oh!