1
00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:59,480
Look at you.
2
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,000
- Look over here. Okay, great, great.
- WOMAN: All right, let's do this.
3
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,680
- Do you like my new dress?
- Okay, ready?
4
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,640
All right, say "cheese."
5
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,240
- ALL: Cheese...
- Oh, wait. Excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
6
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,640
Maybe it's just me,
but can I just say,
why "cheese"?
7
00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,920
I know it's not your fault,
obviously you didn't
make it up, but please,
8
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,800
it makes us look like
pod people.
9
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:20,480
How about something
more snapshot like?
10
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:21,720
Au naturel.
11
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,960
- WOMAN: That's good.
- I think we've got it, though, don't you?
12
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,120
I'm living the dream
over here.
13
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,600
Honey, did you see that
young man Cousin Dougy
brought with him?
14
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,200
He's been staring
at you all afternoon.
15
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,840
Don't destroy the cake.
I used fresh tangerines.
16
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,360
Can you taste it
in the frosting?
17
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,640
Has he really? It's delicious.
Yeah, God,
his eyes are gorgeous.
18
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,000
They're kind.
And they're gorgeous. Go on.
19
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,480
- I'll go over.
- You will?
20
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:48,840
- Yeah.
- Okay. All right.
21
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,120
Oh, but, honey.
22
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,520
- Just don't do that thing you do.
- What thing, Mom?
23
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,760
Oh, you know
that little thing.
It's no big deal.
24
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,960
That, you know,
when you're insecure,
you're self-conscious,
25
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,280
that little very loud,
nervous laugh?
26
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:00,680
Honey, it's adorable, but...
27
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,360
Oh, God, look, there she goes.
Oh, look.
28
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,640
MAE: Oh, I know,
we see it.
29
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,520
She only buttons
the part she can see
in the mirror.
30
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:10,480
At least she shaves more than
the front of her legs now,
she's got almost the whole...
31
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:11,840
- Hi.
- Hi.
32
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:13,640
- Okay, it's going...
- It's okay.
33
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:14,640
Yeah.
34
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:16,680
(SNORTING)
35
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,600
Uh-oh. Kiss of death.
36
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:21,480
(SIGHS)
37
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,360
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
38
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,120
WOMAN: It was so...
DAPHNE: You're beautiful.
39
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,320
MAE: Are we going to do the picture?
MAGGIE: All right, let's do this.
40
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,520
- Let's just do it, okay?
- Okay.
41
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,760
This time I think
we should pose.
42
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:31,880
I think we should
pose for one.
43
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,040
Oh, wait a minute, wait.
Hold on for just one second,
okay? Where's Mil?
44
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,480
Oh, God, how did we
lose her?
45
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,560
Milly? Where are you?
46
00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:45,160
I'm upstairs,
with Uncle Harold's nephew.
47
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,120
The politically-active
open-hearted journalist?
48
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,400
Mil, let me get your sisters
in on this.
49
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:50,600
Maggie, what do you do?
50
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:51,720
You hit "Speaker," Mom.
51
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:52,880
No, no, I know.
Okay, I knew that, but...
52
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,480
No, but the one
that says "speak."
53
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,680
- "Mil, we're here, we're all here."
- "ALL: Hi."
54
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:57,960
So how's it going?
55
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,080
- It's good.
- It's good.
56
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,880
Okay.
The only thing is
57
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,200
I think he may have
a hot dog with a bun.
58
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,000
Are you having a picnic? What?
59
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,480
No. Uncircumcised is back in.
60
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,200
You know that guy I dated
before Derek, he had a...
61
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,640
And I preferred it
because it was
so much more dramatic.
62
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,080
When it finally made its
appearance, you were like...
63
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,560
(EXCLAIMS)
What's in there?
64
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,160
- Just stop it for a second.
- Just a little...
65
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,120
This is your wedding.
All right.
66
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,920
Honey, just remember,
he's accomplished
and he's considerate.
67
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,640
And don't forget,
you have one breast
smaller than the other.
68
00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,320
Thank you, Mom. God.
69
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,720
Wait, didn't he get back
together with his wife?
70
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,200
Oh, no.
71
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:42,400
Well, Milly,
congratulations
on your first wedding.
72
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,120
Let's hope it's the first
of many. Cheers.
73
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,440
All right.
74
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,360
A little thyme, remember?
For hope.
75
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,040
And they say lavender
for remembrance.
76
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,760
But my grandmother
preferred marigolds
77
00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:01,040
'cause she said
it made you remember
only the good stuff.
78
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:06,160
I feel like making love to you
79
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,440
My God. All right,
we gotta cut off the champagne
80
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,800
and get some food
in their stomachs
before there's an encore.
81
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,680
Let's go ahead
and get the entr�es ready,
all right?
82
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,040
Thank you.
83
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,320
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
84
00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:22,760
Not a good time.
85
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,840
Honey, I was just thinking
about that brilliant
86
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:29,360
but went-overboard-
with-the-teeth-bleaching
flute player from Ohio.
87
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:32,360
Yup, he actually stopped
by work to surprise me.
88
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,520
- Hey.
- DAPHNE: How sweet.
89
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,040
He's getting to know
my staff as we speak.
90
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,760
I guess I was wrong.
I mean, I had him pegged
91
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,160
for one of those guys
who wants you
till he's got you
92
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,400
and then doesn't think twice
about sleeping
with your best friend.
93
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,320
You know, that kind of guy.
94
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,200
- No, no, Mom. He's great.
- Beautiful, beautiful.
95
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,840
You know, Mom, I gotta go.
We're about to serve
the entr�es.
96
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,880
And I wore those shoes
that we just bought,
97
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,680
no wonder they were on sale,
my feet are killing me.
98
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,360
I'm gonna call you
when I get home, okay?
I love you, bye.
99
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:04,840
Milly.
100
00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:51,800
FEMALE VOICE:
You have no messages.
101
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:56,840
Oh!
102
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,440
That's it, Cooper.
103
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,360
DAPHNE: Whose idea was this?
A Korean spa?
104
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,840
- MAE: Mine.
- Oy.
105
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,160
Ma, why do you wear
the high-tops?
106
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,760
I just got these.
What's wrong with these?
107
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,080
They're just kind of
depressing.
108
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,120
They're kind of something
you would wear in a hospital.
109
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,760
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
Wait a sec, I'll have
you know, young ladies,
110
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,440
that this underwear
enhances the female form,
111
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,600
highlighting the elegance
of the waist and making
the legs appear longer,
112
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,920
instead of the...
Well, I'm sorry to say this,
113
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,920
but the awful, you know,
foreshortening aspect
of a thong,
114
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,840
which breaks up
the body disproportionately.
115
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,880
Mom, come on,
for your 60th birthday,
we're gonna break you down
116
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,200
and we're gonna buy you
something beautiful,
117
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,760
something that Grandma Moses
would not wear.
118
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,600
Yes, you are.
And speaking of your birthday,
119
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,680
we've talked about possibly,
120
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,560
- like, a really small party.
- We feel you should have a party.
121
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:35,680
- Not a big one.
- Just intimate.
122
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:36,680
- Elegant...
- Something very sophisticated.
123
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:37,920
Because it's a really big
milestone for you, Mom.
124
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,200
- No. Misses, no. Absolutely no.
- Misses...
125
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,120
No, I'm not going to
talk about it, we're not
going to think about it
126
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,760
and certainly I'm not gonna
not celebrate the fact that
my life is basically over.
127
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:49,120
- Ma.
- But I did find a recipe
128
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,920
for a butterscotch buttercream
cake that is to die for.
129
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,120
We got her.
Totally got her.
130
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,720
Massage naked.
Take all clothes off.
131
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,040
No. Not now, pal. No.
132
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,720
No.
133
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,080
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
134
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,160
Whose idea was this?
135
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,600
Which one of you could
possibly think that
I would ever enjoy this?
136
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,480
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
No, it was not. It was so you.
137
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,000
Just you wait.
138
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,600
No.
139
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,520
Hi, babe.
140
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,600
Okay.
141
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,480
(SOBBING)
142
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,800
Honey, I'm worried about you.
143
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,960
It's not sad sobbing.
I promise, Mom,
I'm fine, I'm fine.
144
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,920
It's just the pressure point
reflex thing.
145
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,200
(MASSEUSE
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
146
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,200
Pardon?
147
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,440
What kind of oil
would you like?
148
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,320
Oh, wakana oh yulike
to you too.
149
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,440
- Mom.
- What? It's a greeting.
150
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:55,600
(BOTH SPEAKING KOREAN)
151
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:01,960
(EXCLAIMS)
152
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:05,080
Hey, wait. What are you...
What are you...
153
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,800
What are you doing here now?
Hey, that's the head.
That's...
154
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,800
Soft to hard. Soft to hard.
155
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,320
(SCREAMS)
156
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:14,880
God damn it.
157
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:18,640
Oh, my God.
158
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:27,200
Girls, she's not back
with Rafferty, is she?
159
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,480
She doesn't want to
talk about it, Mom.
160
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:33,240
I knew it. I thought we got
rid of that pathologically
ambivalent narcissist
161
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,680
three years ago when he almost
stood you up at Mae's wedding.
162
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,080
Well, you know what, Mom?
163
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,360
He's never gonna
stand me up again
164
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,360
because he's been sleeping
with my ex-boyfriend.
165
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:42,600
MAE: Oh, my God.
MAGGIE: Oh, God.
166
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,320
MAGGIE: I could kill him.
DAPHNE: Oh, God.
167
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:46,360
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
168
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,000
You deserve somebody
who wants you,
169
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,120
somebody who's as good
and as kind as you are.
170
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,360
Why do you always
have to put me down?
171
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,480
- I'm not putting you...
- Yes, you are.
172
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,680
Love is supposed to make you
feel good about yourself.
173
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,040
You shouldn't have to
settle for crumbs.
174
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,880
Okay, okay. I know.
I'm an idiot, okay?
175
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:10,800
- I'm done. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- DAPHNE: No, no. No.
176
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:11,840
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
177
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,440
All right. You're the
psychologist in the family.
178
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,120
What do you think we should do
about your sister?
179
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,760
I swear, with men,
she's like psychotic flypaper.
180
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:26,280
They're either gay,
married, unavailable
or out of their minds.
181
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,840
No, Mom, you have to leave her
alone. You have to quit
making her so insecure.
182
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,720
She had the least
amount of time with Dad
183
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,240
who wasn't exactly
a great male role model.
184
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:37,440
And stop being a helicopter,
Mom, you're hovering.
185
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,280
You're right, you're right.
186
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:43,560
(CLICKS TONGUE)
187
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,640
I'm gonna back off,
188
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,560
I'm gonna give her some space
to sort things out
for herself.
189
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:48,680
Good.
190
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:50,920
Yeah.
191
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,360
If only I could choose
for her.
192
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:54,440
- No.
- No. That is so...
193
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,160
That is so
Fiddler on the Roof.
194
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,520
Your parents
didn't choose for you.
195
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:58,680
Yeah, but maybe
they should have.
196
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:02,040
You know what I think?
I think you're fixating on her
197
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,000
to avoid dealing with this
very big birthday
you have coming up.
198
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,960
I am not fixating on her.
199
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,720
Is it crazy for me
to want her to have
200
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,680
one healthy relationship
in her life?
201
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,120
I mean, come on,
if she keeps up this pattern
202
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,400
of wrong choice
after wrong choice...
203
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:18,800
I mean, okay, one thing
when you're in your 20s,
204
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,600
but 20 years later,
it's not so pretty.
205
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:24,640
Maggie?
206
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:26,840
I don't...
207
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,440
I don't want her to end up
alone.
208
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,520
You know what I realize?
209
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:37,000
I give up the search.
I don't need anybody.
I mean, look at Mom.
210
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,600
She's been single
most of her adult life
and she's lived a great life.
211
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:43,320
So you know what?
I'm going to be
just like you, Mom.
212
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,000
(GROANS)
213
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,400
Just like you.
214
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,680
DAPHNE: Milly, you are gonna
thank me for this later.
215
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:54,760
Okay.
216
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,560
"Adult Friend Finder."
217
00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:02,080
"Over 14 million members."
Well, that's a very good sign.
218
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,720
I like how they use
the word "friend."
219
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,760
Friendship is the cornerstone
of any good relationship.
220
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:08,480
(WOMAN MOANING)
221
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:13,280
(BARKS)
222
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:17,240
Oh, my God. Oh, sorry, Coop.
I'm sorry, honey.
Wait, okay. Wait. Shoot.
223
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,560
MAN: Eat my dick.
224
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:25,160
No, no, no. Be quiet, okay?
Gone, gone.
All goney, right? Gone.
225
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,400
Cooper, quiet.
226
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,200
(WOMAN MOANING)
227
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:35,040
MAN: Gateway customer support.
May I help you?
228
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,160
Mr. Online Support?
229
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,800
Yeah, no. What's happened is
my computer
has apparently frozen.
230
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:44,600
No, I was just doing
a little bit of pre-Christmas
online shopping.
231
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,040
Why do you need to know
what site I'm on?
232
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,320
(MAN GRUNTING)
233
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,840
Oh, my God.
234
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,440
God darn.
235
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,800
Hello, is this We Match 4 You?
236
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:05,640
"Let me preface this ad by
saying if you are a nut job,
pervert or fruitcake, move on.
237
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,880
"Nudists, mama's boys,
the sexually confused
need not apply."
238
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:13,480
"Anarchists, xenophobes,
philistines, masochists,
sexists, bigots not welcome."
239
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:17,040
I know it's $5 a word.
No, well, don't worry.
240
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:18,720
I'm not that talky.
241
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,240
So let's just take it from
page two. "Chronically itchy."
242
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:25,480
"I'm looking for someone
with a steady job
who knows the value of work.
243
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:29,120
"That does not exclude
the independently wealthy."
244
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,000
Okay, hope that goes out...
245
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:36,560
Polka dots. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I like it.
246
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,080
I like it, I like it.
247
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:53,360
Oh.
248
00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,920
Hi. You must be Daphne Wilder.
It's so nice to meet you.
249
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,920
Let's date your daughter.
250
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:06,520
MAN: I'll just dig in real quick,
'cause I'm hypoglycemic,
251
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:10,120
'cause otherwise my
blood sugar hits the ground
and... You know? Okay.
252
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:14,240
I was just wondering
what you think the cornerstone
of any good relationship is?
253
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,120
What is in there?
254
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,160
So why don't you just
free associate, okay?
I say marriage, you say...
255
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,240
I say marriage.
256
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,440
- No, no, I say marriage and...
- I say marriage.
257
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,520
Right, but that's not what
I meant. I meant that...
258
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:25,600
- I...
- I...
259
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:26,760
- Me.
- Me.
260
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:27,920
(MAN SNEEZES)
261
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,840
I have a slight allergy
to dander and nut meats.
262
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,560
Okay, done,
thank you very much.
263
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:35,960
- It's been wonderful meeting you.
- Thank you.
264
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,720
Appreciate it, yeah. Right.
Thank you very much.
Okay, yeah.
265
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,560
If I say marriage,
then what do you say?
266
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:42,880
Vera Wang.
267
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,280
Your name is?
268
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,760
- Louie.
- Huey.
269
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,560
(SINGING)
270
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,240
I've already got a woody.
271
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:05,760
Uh!
272
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,440
How old did you say you were?
273
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:15,760
(EXCLAIMS)
274
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,080
My name is Dr. Iris McDunna.
275
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,560
- I'm sorry, I'm right in the middle here, Iris.
- I know.
276
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,400
I read your ad,
"You'll know me
by my polka dots."
277
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:28,400
I'm a licensed psychologist
and I wanted to offer you
my services.
278
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,240
I wanted to suggest
that as a mother,
279
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:35,360
you attend, free of charge,
one of my Letting Go seminars.
280
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,960
Hi. I think we were
supposed to meet now.
281
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,520
Yeah. Oh, that's...
282
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:43,880
Right.
283
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,440
Right. That is so...
284
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,480
Iris, I'm so sorry.
I can't afford to be rude.
285
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,920
I'll leave you my card.
286
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,800
Thank you so terribly much.
287
00:15:56,640 --> 00:16:00,200
God. Thank you,
whoever you are.
I'll have another. Another.
288
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,760
I really don't think
I can't get through
another one of these
289
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,360
without being
heavily medicated.
290
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:06,400
- That bad, huh?
- Bad?
291
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,000
(CHUCKLES) Yeah. Like...
292
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:10,000
(STAMMERING)
293
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:11,480
Wow.
294
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,760
And I like that you're going
for a younger guy.
295
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,320
Me?
296
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,480
No, no, no.
That ship's docked.
297
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,920
No. No, this is
for my daughter.
298
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,920
Let me get this straight.
So you're meeting these guys
for her?
299
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:31,960
Uh-huh.
300
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,960
So she's cool with you
doing this for her, then.
301
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,200
Maybe you should just
go play your guitar.
302
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,360
She doesn't know, does she?
303
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:39,640
Look.
304
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:45,240
I wouldn't be here
if it weren't for the fact
that Milly is...
305
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,720
She's at a crossroads
in her life.
306
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,200
Another hard left
and I really...
307
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:53,960
She's like this person
who's too sensitive.
You know what I mean?
308
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,280
She's an innocent.
She's a pushover.
309
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,360
I'm usually not this
in-the-muck-of-it.
310
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,760
I mean, actually,
I consider myself
a reasonably sane mother.
311
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,160
Well, yeah,
it is a crazy love, though.
312
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,880
I mean, who's to say
I wouldn't do the same
for my own kid?
313
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:11,720
Mmm.
314
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:15,080
Excuse me. I'm Jason Grant.
I don't mean to interrupt.
315
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,160
I've been waiting
over by the bar,
316
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,520
but I only have so much time
before I have to
get back to work.
317
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,720
DAPHNE: I just wanted to
ask you about your family.
318
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:29,800
Yeah, well, my dad is an
engineer who was always
a closet architect.
319
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,800
- And I grew up with a love of old buildings.
- I know what you mean.
320
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:37,560
So I suppose I became
the architect that he always
dreamed of being.
321
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,960
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
322
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,920
Oh, thank you, dear Lord.
323
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,480
Can I order you something?
324
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,800
You know, actually it turns
out I'm so not hungry at all.
325
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:52,640
Let me get you the "funghi"
"chitarrina misto". It's the
best-kept secret in the city.
326
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:53,960
Can we have two orders
of that, please?
327
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,880
And a bottle of the
Castellare Chianti Poggiale.
328
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,040
- If you insist, huh?
- No, I do, I do.
329
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:05,880
Do you mind my asking why
a man like you hasn't found
a woman already?
330
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,680
Well, I'll admit
I'm a bit of a workaholic.
331
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,720
It's a very important time
in my career right now.
332
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,720
I've found women
but just not the right one.
333
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,640
A lot of great "almosts"
out there.
334
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,840
Oh, yeah, a lot of "almosts."
335
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:19,720
Yeah.
336
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,600
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
337
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,160
You speak Italian, huh?
338
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,120
No, I fake Italian.
339
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,320
I'd really love to learn it.
340
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,520
You know, Milly happens to be
a phenomenal cook.
341
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,560
She's always wanted to take
a cooking tour of Italy.
342
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,240
- Oh, wow, I was gonna go there this fall.
- Really?
343
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,720
But it's a crazy time
for me right now.
344
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,880
My company is celebrating
their tenth anniversary.
345
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:40,880
Oh.
346
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,000
You're gonna need
a caterer then.
347
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,080
I mean, those kinds of
occasions should be marked,
don't you think?
348
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,640
- You are good. So James Bond.
- Yes.
349
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,720
Well, it was a pleasure
to meet you, Daphne Wilder.
350
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,640
Well, Jason, my pleasure.
351
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,760
Gotta love a woman
in polka dots.
352
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,600
- Not everyone can pull it off.
- Thank you.
353
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,520
Bye.
354
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,880
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
355
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,600
Oh, my God.
356
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:14,920
Oh, yes.
357
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,200
And the winner is?
358
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,800
Duh. Hands down,
bachelor number 17.
359
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,280
- Him?
- Yes.
360
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,160
Oh, I don't trust that guy.
361
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,120
That guy was playing you
like a slide guitar.
362
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,600
He was not.
363
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,320
He's a very stable,
responsible, mature young man.
364
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:31,720
He has empty eyes.
365
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,760
They were not empty.
And who am I supposed to
choose anyway, huh?
366
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,680
- Who do you think is better?
- Me.
367
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,200
What?
368
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,680
I like you.
369
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:45,120
And I have an odd instinct
that I'd like her too.
Maybe I should meet her.
370
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:48,200
Let me be perfectly honest
with you, okay?
371
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:51,880
You're a very charming guy,
irresistible, in fact.
372
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,200
And that's why I know
you would be
a horrendous choice
373
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:57,440
because I'm not looking for
a great affair
for my daughter.
374
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,800
You know, like,
gorgeous musician
who's gonna break her heart.
375
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,240
I'm looking for
a life partner.
376
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:02,440
That's great. Thanks.
377
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:06,360
Yeah, no, I love being reduced
to a cultural clich�.
That's just terrific.
378
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,560
Because only musicians
break people's hearts. Wow.
379
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,080
Uh...
380
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,440
It's not the only place
I have them.
381
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,680
Well, look,
you're a great guy.
382
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,760
I hope you have a great life.
383
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,120
But I have to do
what's best for my daughter.
384
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,480
Yeah, of course you do,
385
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,920
but maybe you don't know
what's best for your daughter.
386
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,600
I beg your pardon?
387
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,600
Maybe you do.
388
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,440
Maybe I do.
389
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,080
Nice to meet you, Daphne.
390
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,840
Pleasure. Pleasure.
391
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,200
Here we are.
392
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:57,960
Almost here.
393
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,320
- Yeah, we've landed. We're in heaven.
- Oh, my God.
394
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,560
Oh, my God. Look. Oh, God.
Mil, look at this.
395
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:09,120
Mom, it's polka dots. It's so
Minnie Mouse. I don't even
know if I like it. Do I?
396
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,480
I'm hearing you hate it.
397
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,880
- Me, too.
- Oh, please, just try it on.
398
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,320
Why?
399
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,040
Because I said so.
400
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,840
Honey, look,
it might surprise you.
401
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,520
Anyway, you look beautiful
in dresses. In fact,
you know what I think?
402
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,680
I think that you should
wear it to that catered affair
on Sunday.
403
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,000
To work? Mom,
I spill things all the time.
404
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,440
- Oh, come on, just try it on.
- All right.
405
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,720
Okay. That's incredible.
406
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,600
It's not really me at all.
407
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,720
What are you talking about?
It is totally you.
408
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,600
Well, it's sort of
more you in a way.
409
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,520
You know what it is,
it's kind of Aunt Jemima
meets Betty Crocker.
410
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,280
You know, that's ridiculous.
411
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,480
Come on, sweetie,
you know what I'm going to do?
412
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,600
I made up my mind.
I'm going to get it for you.
413
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,280
No, no, no. You're not
getting me this dress.
414
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:51,720
I don't even like it
and it's absurd for work.
415
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:52,840
No.
416
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,080
Hello.
417
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,280
Excuse me.
418
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,960
These meatballs
are my mom's recipe.
419
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,600
Fantastic, I recommend
everybody try some.
420
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,560
I love that shade of orchid.
421
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:31,560
Uh-huh.
422
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:36,720
Thank you, Matisse.
423
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,000
The chicken satay has got
a really unique flavor.
What'd you use?
424
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:44,720
It's cumin. I'm so sorry,
I can't really chat right now.
425
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,320
You guys,
the chocolate waterfall's
not in the right spot.
426
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,880
Oh, no, we can't have that.
427
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,240
You know what?
Let's just go ahead
and just shift everything over
428
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,040
so it frames the temple doors.
Thank you.
429
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:56,480
Yeah. That's the perfect spot.
430
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,360
So, you like the building?
431
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,080
I actually think
it's a little cold.
432
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:05,520
I'm Jason Grant.
I'm the architect.
433
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:11,480
Milly. Nice to meet you.
434
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:14,720
(MILLY SNORTING)
435
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,320
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
436
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,160
Come on, Mom.
Pick up the phone.
437
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:23,720
(EXCLAIMS)
438
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,160
Oh, Daphne. Here we go. Hello.
439
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,520
Oh, Mom, hi, it's me.
440
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,240
I have to tell you
the most amazing thing
happened.
441
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:32,720
This guy at work
asked me out.
442
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,480
- He did?
- Yes, he's so cute.
443
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,960
Mom, he's an architect.
We're gonna go out
Saturday night.
444
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,280
- Oh, you are?
- I'm just so excited. I'm so excited.
445
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:44,080
Milly, well, that is
really great, sweetie.
That is so darn great.
446
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:45,480
It's great, right?
447
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,040
Mom, he's so cute,
I can't even believe
that it's happening to me.
448
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,800
And he loved the polka dots.
Thank you.
449
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,440
- Oh, yeah?
- Thank you Mom. Yes.
450
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,920
Well, honey, it's just,
I guess, dumb luck.
451
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,520
- You're the best. I love you.
- Okay.
452
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:57,640
- Bye.
- Bye.
453
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,840
(WHOOPS)
454
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:00,520
Coop, come on!
455
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:01,680
(LAUGHING)
456
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:02,760
Yep.
457
00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:08,920
Hello, Jason, this is Bond.
458
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,120
James Bond. Call me.
I'm hearing rave reviews.
459
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,400
All right, I just pulled up.
I'm walking in.
460
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,680
It's okay. Don't worry.
I'm here, I'm here.
461
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,000
(CAR HONKING)
Sorry, sorry.
462
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,760
No, no, they're not angry.
463
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,600
They're not... Hold on. Sorry.
464
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,840
They're just... They're
probably hungry or something.
465
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:44,400
Feed them the spring rolls
from the Adams wedding
466
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:48,400
and the sauce
from the Levy wedding.
467
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,960
All right, I'm walking in.
Okay, bye.
468
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,760
There's a lot of static
out there.
469
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,480
You can say that again.
470
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,440
There's a lot of static
out there.
471
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,480
You know it's caused
by a lack of humidity
in the air
472
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,440
that causes an imbalance
of the positive and negative
charges.
473
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:34,280
You know, ice cream is known
to cut the static cling
in 98% of most cases.
474
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,720
I love ice cream,
but I'm really late to work.
475
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,600
And I'm so sorry.
Nice tattoo, though.
476
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,000
What flavor?
477
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,120
Why don't you get me
your favorite?
478
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,360
Why don't I get your favorite?
479
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:54,480
Okay.
480
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,840
I'll have the Fudgsicle.
481
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,160
Oh, no, no. The Dreamsicle.
482
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:02,560
Wait. Is that
the tall rainbow one
483
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,640
that's really
embarrassing to eat,
but it's really, really good?
484
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:06,840
Okay. Never mind.
485
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,560
I will have the Dreamsicly one
that has the green wrapper
486
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,720
with the Japanese writing
on it.
487
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,040
Thank you.
488
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,200
I'm really beginning to feel
like I'm never going to
meet anyone
489
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,280
and it's making me
feel hopeless.
490
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:32,360
Well, as I've said before,
Stuart, Sheila was a huge
loss, but that was 1993.
491
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,120
Oh, it's still so fresh.
492
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,920
This makes me feel like
when I was in the 2nd grade,
493
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,760
and I walked around
with a booger in my nose
all day and nobody told me.
494
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:40,800
Why didn't they tell me?
495
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,560
Well, more to the point,
why didn't Sheila tell you
she was unhappy?
496
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,160
Oh, God, this is making me
feel nauseous.
497
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:46,680
Maybe I should change
my appointment time
498
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,200
from Thursdays at 3:00
to Mondays at 1:00.
499
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:49,800
No, Stuart,
we've tried that before.
500
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,560
You had Fridays at 1:00
and Tuesdays at 11:00.
501
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,440
It really didn't help
your hypoglycemia.
502
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,600
Now let's focus
on where we ended last time.
503
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,200
Meeting new people,
504
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,040
joining an adult-education
class or a book club.
505
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,120
I did go to an
Internet dating service.
506
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,440
Good for you.
That's very brave.
507
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,280
It was a nightmare,
Dr. Wilder-Decker.
508
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:10,480
It made me
want to kill myself,
even more than the last time.
509
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:14,480
Wow. Well, what triggered
those feelings, Stuart?
510
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:15,560
(GROANS)
511
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:19,720
This mother put an ad out
looking for a mate for her
daughter and I answered it.
512
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,280
A mate for her daughter?
513
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:24,240
Stuart, some people
really shouldn't have kids.
514
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,400
I guess I didn't pass the test
because she made me
feel about this big.
515
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:28,880
Well, I wouldn't worry
about that, Stuart.
516
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,040
Imagine how screwed up
any daughter of hers would be.
517
00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,640
And then when I pressed her
as to why I couldn't
meet her precious daughter,
518
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:35,560
- do you know what she said?
- I really hear it didn't go well.
519
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,880
"Because I said so.
That's why."
520
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,240
Mother, how could you?
When are you planning
on telling her?
521
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:43,240
Well, why does
she need to know?
522
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,720
I mean as long as she's happy,
that's all that's important.
523
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,800
And, my goodness, who knows?
524
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,040
This architect could be
the real magilla.
525
00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:51,240
As I've always said,
526
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,800
"God couldn't be everywhere,
and that is why
he made mothers."
527
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,160
What? That was on
a Hallmark card we gave you,
528
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:58,520
and Milly thought
it was too corny.
529
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:02,120
Don't you dare tell her,
Maggie, or you and I are gonna
have some serious issues.
530
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,760
Well, we already have
some serious issues, Mom.
531
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:05,760
(SCREAMS)
532
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,200
Always so dramatic.
533
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,640
Mother, this is like 6th grade
drama club. Speak English.
534
00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:18,760
(DOORBELL RINGS)
535
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,240
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
536
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:23,760
Oh, hi, honey.
537
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:24,840
Oh, Mom.
538
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,000
I was just in the neighborhood
and I thought I'd drop by.
539
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,280
Okay, Mom. Please,
you have to start calling me.
540
00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:31,200
I have a date that's
on his way over right now.
541
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:32,920
Oh, but Milly,
you look so beautiful.
542
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,760
Are you sure you want to
wear that dress, though?
543
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,040
- It was such a hit the first time.
- I know,
544
00:28:36,120 --> 00:28:37,640
but don't you think
you ought to mix it up
a little bit?
545
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,040
- What for?
- Well, okay, you know, you're right.
546
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,360
You're right.
It looks perfect on you
and everything about it.
547
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,800
I'm just sort of wondering,
if maybe you ought to
button those buttons.
548
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,000
No, no, I like it like this.
549
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:50,960
Milly, you look like
you're asking for it.
550
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,400
I am asking for it.
551
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,280
Okay, all right, I'll pretend
I didn't hear that.
552
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,200
All right, what are you
going to do with your hair?
553
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:58,560
I already did it.
554
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:01,120
Oh, of course you did.
Sure you did.
555
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,560
And you're making cookies too?
That's about
the sweetest touch.
556
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,400
No, actually, I just want the
house to smell like cookies
when he gets over here.
557
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,160
Mom, it's 6:49, look.
And he's supposed to
be here at 7:00.
558
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,320
- You have to go, please, please, please.
- Okay. I can take a hint.
559
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:13,840
- It's not a hint. Mom, go.
- All right.
560
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:15,120
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Oh, he's here. He's here.
561
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:16,160
- Okay, you gotta go.
- All right.
562
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:17,280
- You gotta go please, Mom, Mom.
- All right.
563
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,080
- But wait, sweetie. Just have a good time.
- Okay.
564
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,520
- Feel free to be yourself, but remember...
- I love you, but you gotta go.
565
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:25,000
...don't be too, you know,
forthcoming with all your
failed relationships.
566
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,120
Okay, I got it.
567
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:27,720
- And sweetie, sweetie.
- I love you.
568
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,720
- Keep that mystery alive.
- I love you. I love you for some reason.
569
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:31,840
Okay.
570
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:33,080
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
571
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,320
I'm going to pull my hair out.
What? What, what?
572
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,320
(DOORBELL RINGING)
I know, I know.
Just one more little thing.
573
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,560
- I don't know, Mom, I gotta go. He's here.
- I want you to wear this.
574
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,880
- Oh, my God. Grandma's diamond?
- Yeah.
575
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:45,760
Put it on me, put it on me.
576
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,120
- I want to wear it tonight.
- All right.
577
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,880
- Okay.
- I know. I know, he's coming.
578
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,840
- Don't worry. Here we go.
- Okay.
579
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:55,480
Mom, you never let any of us
wear this. It's so special.
580
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,480
- So special.
- Thank you.
581
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:00,040
What?
582
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:01,480
(DOORBELL RINGING)
583
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:05,320
May it bring you luck with the
architect. Your sisters and
I will expect a full report.
584
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:06,320
- Okay?
- Okay.
585
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,560
I'll give it to you tomorrow
night after I go out with him.
586
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:09,800
- Tomorrow night?
- Yeah, yeah.
587
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:11,920
I'm going out with
another great guy tonight.
588
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,440
He's taking me to Luna Station
to hear some music.
589
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,080
- You are?
- Can you believe that, Mom?
590
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:17,800
It's like I gave up,
I stopped trying
591
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:19,960
and the universe brought me
two amazing guys.
592
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:21,720
- Great, right? Wow.
- Whoa, that's so great.
593
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,200
It's one of those
amazing things, huh?
594
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,120
- All right, sweetie. Well now, bye.
- Bye-bye.
595
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:34,280
Go, go.
596
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:36,600
Go, Mother, go.
597
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:40,640
Hi.
598
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,000
It was either this or roses.
599
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,560
Thank you.
600
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,160
- Come on in.
- Cookies?
601
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:49,160
Yeah.
602
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:50,360
(CHUCKLES)
Nice.
603
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,920
Really seem to have
such a different approach
and attitude towards life
604
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,520
that people don't really
get here as much, I think.
605
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,840
Okay, don't worry.
We're gonna get
a quick look at who he is
606
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:05,840
and then we're gonna go home
607
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,720
and finish watching
Gary Cooper in
Love in the Afternoon.
608
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:12,400
(HORN HONKING)
609
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,760
Come on, man.
Okay. Yes. Yeah.
610
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,960
Okay. Go, go, baby.
Okay, okay.
611
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:29,920
Come on.
612
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:33,160
(CARS HONKING)
613
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,000
Coop, Coop, everything's okay,
sweetie. Where the heck am I?
614
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,560
God. Okay. Oh, jeez.
615
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,000
Okay. Let me just...
Okay, I'll turn this. Okay.
616
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,040
ELECTRONIC VOICE: Welcome,
what is your destination?
617
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:44,920
Luna Station.
618
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,480
- "Your address is..."
- Is, okay, what?
619
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:50,440
- "...1242 Amherst Boulevard."
- 12...
620
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:51,880
So where is Amherst?
621
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:55,480
Continue north 2.4 miles
and then east.
622
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,160
Well, where is north?
The left?
623
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:58,600
Continue north
2.4 miles then east.
624
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:00,160
Give me a left.
Give me a right. Left. Right.
625
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:01,560
Something like...
626
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:02,920
Please. For God's sake.
627
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,280
- You know what you are?
- "Continue north 2.4 miles..."
628
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:05,400
- I'll tell you what you are.
- "...and then east."
629
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:06,760
You are redundant.
630
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:10,040
- "Continue north 2.4 miles and then east."
- And it's a horrible quality.
631
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:11,960
- You awful machine.
- "Continue, continue..."
632
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:15,480
- And that's for you.
- "I'm sorry, command too loud."
633
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:24,560
(CAR HONKING)
634
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:29,160
(SCREAMS)
635
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,200
Are you guys ready to rock?
636
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,960
- ALL: Yeah.
- All right.
637
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,320
Let's play something
for Milly over there.
638
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,120
A little blues in E, okay?
639
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,440
One, two, three, four.
640
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,320
Now we're coming up on the A.
641
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,520
Molly, that sounds terrific.
642
00:32:57,920 --> 00:32:59,200
I feel really bad.
643
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:02,760
No, no, I would have done
the same thing if one of
my staff had called in sick.
644
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:04,200
It's only gonna be
20 more minutes.
645
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,040
It's just that they memorized
an E progression
646
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,000
and that is a major feat
for them.
647
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:09,000
Okay.
648
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:10,440
Yeah, I'll be right back.
649
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:11,920
Go, Nicky.
650
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,320
Yeah.
651
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,680
A little bit harder
over there.
652
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,240
Strum a little bit closer,
up here.
653
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:40,360
That sounds really nice.
654
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,600
Really?
Well, thank you, teacher.
655
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:47,000
Actually, I love to sing.
My whole family loves to sing.
656
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,200
And when I was younger,
I always wanted to
take piano lessons,
657
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,600
but my mom was struggling
so much supporting us all
658
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,760
that I just felt
way too guilty to ask.
659
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:58,160
Here.
660
00:33:58,920 --> 00:33:59,960
What?
661
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,480
What?
662
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,920
Play what you were
playing before.
It sounded really good.
663
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,440
- Really?
- Yeah.
664
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,280
I'm no good, but okay.
665
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:12,320
Try it.
666
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:17,840
- Like that?
- Yeah.
667
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:18,880
All righty.
668
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,040
- I'll take it up here.
- Okay.
669
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:23,760
We'll meet in the middle.
670
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:25,840
- It's down there.
- Sorry.
671
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,080
How about I come close to you?
672
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,560
I don't mind.
673
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:33,000
All right.
674
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:36,640
(DUCKS QUACKING)
675
00:34:36,720 --> 00:34:38,760
Why are there a lot of ducks
in Venice?
676
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,480
Ten ducks are swimming
down the canal
677
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:44,840
and one says,
"This place is quacked."
678
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:46,720
(LAUGHING)
679
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:48,280
That's terrible.
680
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:49,680
No, that's really cute,
actually.
681
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:51,280
It's very cute.
682
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:53,600
This is me. Come on in.
683
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:01,360
- I love this. It's so cozy.
- Thanks.
684
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,680
- So comfy.
- Yeah.
685
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:05,800
Three, two, one, blast off.
686
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:07,640
I'm in orbit. I'm in orbit.
687
00:35:07,720 --> 00:35:11,240
Okay, Lionel,
let's... All right.
Okay, come back here.
688
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,800
Let's start winding down
for bed, all right?
689
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,080
Who are you?
What planet do you hail from?
690
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:20,200
This is Milly from
planet Milly. This is Lionel
from planet Johnny.
691
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:22,440
Hi, Lionel,
it's very nice to meet you.
692
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,080
You have a 'gina.
693
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,480
I have a what?
694
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,240
I have a penis.
You have a 'gina.
695
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,720
Okay, buddy, give me
a break here, okay?
696
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,200
- Can I see it?
- Hey.
697
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:34,320
(JOE GROWLING)
698
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,760
Lionel. Lionel.
699
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:38,960
- Lionel.
- JOHNNY: Dad?
700
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:40,960
Hi.
701
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:42,560
This is Milly.
702
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,280
Joe Dresden. Nice to meet you.
703
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:47,640
Nice to meet you.
704
00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:50,120
Sorry. It's moon dust.
705
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,160
It's okay.
706
00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:55,640
Well, excuse me.
It's usually just us guys.
707
00:35:55,720 --> 00:36:00,200
Johnny hasn't brought home
a gal in, God,
I don't know how long.
708
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,520
Great, I'm getting it
from both sides.
709
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:04,600
Sorry.
710
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,000
Come on, buddy, let's you
and me go in the other room.
711
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,880
- These guys are boring.
- Nope, nope, nope.
712
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,600
What'd you have
for lunch today?
713
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,240
Baloney sandwich.
714
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,400
- I'm not the baloney.
- Yes, you are.
715
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,160
- I think we got him. There we go.
- We got him.
716
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:30,960
We'll see you.
717
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:32,560
Night.
718
00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:42,600
Oh, my God.
719
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,880
- Mr. Grant. This way.
- Hey, man, how you doing?
720
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,000
- This is so amazing.
- Yeah.
721
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,040
- It's really unbelievable.
- Yeah?
722
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,360
This is so great.
It's beautiful.
723
00:36:56,720 --> 00:36:58,120
It's great.
724
00:36:58,160 --> 00:36:59,400
I love this angle on the city.
725
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:02,560
I never knew this existed.
Gosh.
726
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,640
So what's good here?
727
00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:09,800
Well, I hope you don't mind,
but knowing your love of food,
728
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,040
I didn't want you to
miss these.
729
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:13,040
Oh.
730
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,520
No, no, no, that's great
731
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:18,960
'cause I make decisions
all day long.
732
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,040
You know, the Gillespies'
daughter is allergic
to chocolate,
733
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:24,040
but she wants a brown cake,
and...
734
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:27,040
My lease is up on my car,
do I get a hybrid? 'Cause
I really believe in them
735
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,200
but I don't know if it's time
to switch insurance, it's...
736
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:35,120
What I mean is, it's very nice
to not have to think
for a change.
737
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:37,840
(SNORTING)
738
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:43,560
(CLEARS THROAT)
739
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,000
Well, last time I was
in Italy, I was in Siena,
and they make this wine there,
740
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,840
and this is the only place
in the city that serves it.
741
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:52,240
- You've been to Siena, right?
- Oh, well, of course, I haven't. No.
742
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:53,960
Are you kidding?
743
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,880
Wouldn't it be fun to drink
our way through Tuscany?
744
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,240
It'd be amazing.
745
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,360
God, this calamari is so...
746
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:06,760
Is that City Hall?
God, I love old buildings.
You know, the attention to...
747
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,240
Not that I don't love
modern architecture
'cause I totally do.
748
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:11,040
It's so bold,
but you know what I mean.
749
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,440
Who wants to live
in all that concrete?
750
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:18,320
And yet, you know,
the Zen of clean minds,
that kind of Asian simplicity,
751
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,400
living without
all the clutter, is great.
752
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:29,120
This view is amazing.
My mom would love this view.
753
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:30,440
Oh, yeah?
754
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,000
Does she have good taste?
755
00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:35,560
Impeccable.
756
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,320
Now I know that this is
the part of the evening
757
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,960
where I'm supposed to sit
way over here in this chair.
758
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:47,160
But can I jump five spaces
and pass "Go"?
759
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:50,120
Well, "can" implies
"are you capable."
760
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:52,640
"May" asks the question.
761
00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:54,120
Milly, may I?
762
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:56,600
Yes, you may.
763
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,520
Milly, may I kiss you?
764
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:14,800
(CELLPHONE VIBRATING)
765
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:16,520
I'm sorry.
Could you hold that thought
for a second?
766
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,080
I have to, like...
767
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:23,080
What?
768
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:27,560
Well, I just got that new
conference call feature,
so we thought we'd try it out.
769
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,600
- New?
- Hey, Milly.
770
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:31,440
- Hi, how's it going?
- Yes. He's a great kisser.
771
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:34,640
- Wonderful. Isn't that great, girls?
- BOTH: Yeah.
772
00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:36,320
That's so much better than...
Remember that Ted guy?
773
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:37,560
He seemed to have
a lot of potential,
774
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:39,080
then he ended up
having, like,
lizard tongue.
775
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:40,120
Oh, yeah.
776
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,200
And as I remember,
an over-intake of Mentos
777
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:44,280
which didn't cover
the buffalo wing breath.
778
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:45,760
That's disgusting, Mae.
779
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:47,840
Though, as I recall,
those kisses bombed upstairs,
780
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:49,360
but had a certain finesse
downstairs.
781
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:52,280
I remember that.
Yes, downstairs and...
782
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:53,760
I don't want to hear it.
783
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,280
Guys, all right,
I gotta go kiss.
I gotta go kiss.
784
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:57,440
- Okay, I gotta go too.
- No.
785
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:58,760
- Me three.
- Bye.
786
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:27,440
MAN: Yeah.
WOMAN: Yeah.
787
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:28,480
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
788
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:30,320
- "Feels good."
- "Yeah."
789
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:32,280
(WOMAN MOANING)
790
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,000
MAGGIE: Hello?
791
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:35,320
Hello?
792
00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:36,640
Mom?
793
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,200
- No.
- "Are you there?"
794
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:39,880
- Okay.
- "Mom?"
795
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:41,560
- What, honey?
- Mom?
796
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:43,080
Are you okay?
797
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,680
What, honey?
No, yeah. I'm fine.
798
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,600
No, wait. Mom,
what's that sound?
799
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:50,760
Well, Cooper's in heat.
Good night.
800
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,560
Cooper's a boy. Mom?
801
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:59,080
He wants potato pancakes
in the shape of footballs
802
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,240
with Gandalf's face
on them in sour cream.
803
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,680
We can do that.
You start, though.
804
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:05,720
Hello.
805
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:09,360
Hi. Wow.
806
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,040
Lionel helped picked these.
He wanted you to know.
807
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:16,680
Oh, my gosh.
Thank you so much.
Lionel, they're beautiful.
808
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:20,640
And you know what?
You can actually
eat these flowers.
809
00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:22,120
They're really good in salads.
810
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,240
Although, when I was your age,
I didn't like anything green.
811
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:25,320
And now I've learned to love
812
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:26,600
- spinach...
- Now if she could just stop talking
813
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:27,720
- for five seconds.
- ...Brussels sprouts, broccoli.
814
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:28,800
(TIMER RINGS)
815
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,360
Oh, I got it,
I got it, I got it.
816
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,000
- No, we'll get it.
- I got it.
817
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,320
Hey, Lionel, come on,
you wanna help us eat
the centerpiece?
818
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:36,640
LIONEL: Can I, Dad?
819
00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:38,680
Yeah, yeah.
Go ahead. Go crazy.
820
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:39,720
Bye.
821
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:42,280
If you don't, I will.
822
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:48,600
There was a lot going on
the other night.
823
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:52,880
And I didn't get to tell you
about Lionel's unique rhythm
and I'm sorry...
824
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:56,240
Oh, gosh, no, it's fine.
I actually feel
a kinship with him.
825
00:41:56,320 --> 00:42:00,120
You know he can't stop
running around
and I can't stop talking.
826
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:03,120
I kind of think you're gonna
have your hands full.
827
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:04,280
(EXCLAIMING)
828
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:05,920
They said it couldn't be done,
but I did it.
829
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,200
How was your date with the...
830
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:08,920
Oh, my gosh, Mom...
831
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:14,080
Mom, this is Johnny.
Johnny, this is my mom,
Daphne.
832
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:18,320
Hi. Oh.
833
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,040
(SCREAMING)
834
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:22,000
Oh!
835
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,240
Lionel. Johnny's son.
836
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:25,960
John, is it?
837
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:28,800
Lionel. Come on, buddy.
838
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:29,800
Uh-huh.
839
00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:33,680
Lionel, come on here now.
840
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,680
- Pardon me.
- MILLY: Johnny. That's Johnny.
841
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,600
Lionel, that's so cute.
842
00:42:38,720 --> 00:42:40,920
Oh, my gosh. Oh, Mom.
843
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:45,160
(CRYING)
844
00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:47,640
- The delivery man's here.
- Is this menorah-esque?
845
00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:48,840
Mom, I don't even know
if this is good.
846
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:50,880
- Find something Hobbit-like.
- I don't have anything Hobbit-like.
847
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:52,120
We should try
and make this work, though.
848
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:53,520
They're never gonna never know
it's from Gelson's.
849
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:56,320
Oh, wait, wait.
I used this for Jason's party.
850
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:58,360
Jason has such
nice eyes. Okay.
851
00:42:58,680 --> 00:42:59,680
Thank you.
852
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,120
Happy Bar Mitzvah,
Josh Greenberg.
853
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:03,680
How do you know Jason has
such nice eyes?
854
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:07,400
Does he? Oh, that's so sweet.
He seems like
a very special person.
855
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:10,560
What if we try that new vase
on the coffee table?
856
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:14,760
- He is nice. But actually, they both are.
- Oh, I'm sure they both are.
857
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:16,680
But in terms of who you
wanna get serious with,
858
00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:19,440
that Johnny, at least from
what I can see, can't even
get his life together.
859
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:23,200
But I'm gonna stop, all right?
You know what's wrong?
860
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,160
The couch is
in the wrong place. Look.
861
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:26,920
- I got an idea.
- Okay.
862
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,200
- So we'll move the couch. Which way?
- Let's move it this way.
863
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:30,320
Here we go.
864
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,320
That's so good.
Okay, there we go.
I think it's good.
865
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:52,800
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, my God, look at that.
866
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,720
It's so great.
It, like, completely opens
the room up.
867
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:56,960
- So very, very, very good.
- I love it.
868
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,160
- The only thing is... Can I just say this?
- What?
869
00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:01,680
We haven't tried the couch
by the window.
I think we should.
870
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,040
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
871
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:05,880
- All right. I don't even know if I see it here.
- Okay. Oh, gosh.
872
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:07,560
Just a second. Hello?
873
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:12,040
You have the wrong number.
Yeah.
There is no J. Bond here.
874
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:16,280
FYI, the Eagle has landed.
875
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:20,560
Yeah, the hen is in the house.
Repeat, the hen is
in the house. Right now.
876
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,480
All right, honey?
877
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,480
Mil, if we push this
five inches to the left,
878
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,520
I swear it's gonna
transform your life.
879
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,960
- You really think so?
- I wouldn't lie to you.
880
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:31,400
- All right.
- Come on, let's go.
881
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:32,480
- Okay, on three.
- Yeah.
882
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:33,560
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
883
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:35,320
One, two, three.
884
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,560
- "Hey, it's Milly, leave me a message."
- This way. Mom?
885
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:41,000
Hey, Milly. It's Jason.
I was thinking about you
886
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:42,720
- "and I wanted to say what..."
- Pick it up. Answer it.
887
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,040
Does he sound wonderful
or what? Why don't you
wanna talk to him?
888
00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:48,280
I do wanna talk to him.
I just don't wanna do it
in front of you, all right?
889
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:49,320
Come on, Milly,
I mean I don't...
890
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:51,680
I got us tickets to
the Music Center
"Friday night for" La Boh�me.
891
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:55,240
"La Boh�me". Oh, come on,
sweetie, I love "La Boh�me".
892
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:57,480
- Just pick up the phone.
- Mom, I don't want to talk to him.
893
00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:00,480
- "It's a really interesting production..."
- Mil, Mil, pick up the phone.
894
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:02,800
Mom, stop. No, no, no,
don't pick up the phone.
895
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,440
- Here, take it. Say yes.
- Stop, stop.
896
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:08,480
Hi.
897
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:11,080
Yeah, I'm great.
898
00:45:12,240 --> 00:45:14,160
Oh, great. Yeah, okay.
899
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:15,280
Mmm-hmm.
900
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:17,920
That sounds really great.
Great.
901
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:19,560
Yeah, great. Okay.
902
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,360
All right.
Okay, I'll talk to you soon.
903
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,600
Okay, great. Bye.
904
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:28,880
He obviously adores you.
905
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:32,120
- You think so?
- Oh, God, and who wouldn't?
906
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:36,200
But, hon, are you aware
of how many times
you used the word "great"?
907
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:38,600
These candlesticks gotta go.
908
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:41,800
No, no, no. I like them.
They're staying.
They're great.
909
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:45,040
Milly, you know how much
I hate to meddle,
but I once had the choice
910
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:48,560
between a mature,
responsible young man
like Jason,
911
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,520
and your father,
who, of course,
I was infatuated with.
912
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:53,480
- And to this day...
- Okay, okay.
913
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:54,560
You know what?
914
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,360
To be fair, you're reading
a lot into a guy that you've
met for ten minutes.
915
00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:01,480
Truth be told,
that Johnny has heartbreak
written all over his face.
916
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:04,880
No, no, no. Truth be told,
you know absolutely
nothing about him.
917
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:07,040
And know what, Mom? I gotta go
'cause I'm getting
my bangs cut.
918
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:08,680
What?
No, no, you go ahead.
919
00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:09,800
No, that's okay, you go ahead.
920
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:10,840
- Yes.
- Fine.
921
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:12,680
Cut your bangs and quit
hiding your incredible eyes.
922
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:15,440
To be truthful, you know
nothing about him.
He's actually a good parent.
923
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:17,440
- Hiding your incredible eyes.
- I can't do this.
924
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:21,240
Milly, I love you
and you may be brilliant,
but you're not smart.
925
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:23,520
I just want you to
have a full, beautiful life.
926
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,120
Do I not have a life, Mom?
Because I thought
I had a life.
927
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,160
No. No, you have a career,
you have a car
928
00:46:28,240 --> 00:46:30,480
and you have a loft
you pay way too much rent for.
929
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:31,520
That's not a life.
930
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:35,640
Milly, I'm your mother.
I love you enough
to tell you the truth.
931
00:46:35,720 --> 00:46:38,400
- Your version of the truth, Mom.
- No. No.
932
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:41,840
The truth is, happiness
is a series of choices.
933
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:43,600
It's not something
that just sort of happens.
934
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,640
One wrong decision
can change your whole life.
935
00:46:48,720 --> 00:46:50,440
There's still time, Mom.
936
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:52,480
Not if you waste
another minute of it.
937
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:54,760
I mean for you.
938
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:01,480
And I don't say
"great" too much.
939
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:07,040
MILLY: This is great.
This is great.
940
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:10,440
The view is great.
The night is just so great.
941
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:12,160
You warm enough?
You wanna go inside?
942
00:47:12,240 --> 00:47:14,440
No, no, no, I'm fine.
I'm nice and toasty.
943
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:15,520
Okay, all right.
944
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:20,320
And don't you just love
my mom's orange blossom
cheesecake? So good.
945
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,160
- Get a big bite.
- Wow.
946
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:25,560
It's great, right?
947
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:30,440
It's superb, which is
a synonym for great, if you're
ever looking for one.
948
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:35,560
You know, you're cold.
Let's go inside.
949
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:36,920
You get the candle,
I'll get the rest.
950
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:38,280
Let me grab that.
951
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:40,760
- Be careful with that.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
952
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:41,840
I'm so sorry.
953
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,080
Oh, my gosh, please tell me
where I can get you
another one...
954
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,800
You can't.
It's my great-grandmother's.
955
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:49,000
Oh, my God. Jason.
956
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,880
I don't know
what to say. I'm sorry.
957
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:53,480
Please, I'm just,
I've been so out of it lately.
958
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:56,400
My alarm clock
didn't go off today
and that's why I was late
959
00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:58,640
and I've just been
so stressed with
the Greenberg Bar Mitzvah,
960
00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:00,160
but that's a whole...
961
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:04,560
You just seem really angry.
962
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:06,800
Nope.
963
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:08,960
I'm great.
964
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:16,120
Okay.
965
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,520
MILLY: I promise you
they're the best
chocolate souffl�s ever.
966
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:23,160
- Well, they better be.
- They're worth it.
967
00:48:23,240 --> 00:48:24,600
Touchdown.
968
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:27,760
Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
969
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,040
Hey, it's all right.
That's all right.
970
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,280
I'm sorry. I bumped
into, like, a parking
meter yesterday
971
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:34,960
and I'm always breaking stuff.
972
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:37,800
Why are you apologizing?
It isn't even your fault.
973
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:41,400
Lionel, put some shoes on
before you come back
in here, all right?
974
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:45,680
Look, I know he can be a lot
and it gets a little crazy
around here sometimes.
975
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,960
But here you are making us
chocolate souffl�s
and you're apologizing.
976
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:52,520
Sometimes, I think you let
people make you feel bad
about yourself.
977
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:54,800
Yeah, like you are right now?
978
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:56,960
(GRUNTING)
979
00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:59,640
What is going on
with us today?
980
00:48:59,720 --> 00:49:01,640
We're having an off day,
that's all.
981
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:07,160
- What are you doing?
- I'm leaving.
982
00:49:07,240 --> 00:49:08,840
I'm leaving because
you're miserable
983
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:10,840
and we're having a bad day.
You just admitted it.
984
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:12,200
No, I said "off day."
985
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:13,800
And, yes,
we've had better days,
986
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:15,840
and I'm sure we'll have
a few hundred more weird ones
987
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:17,720
if we stay together. So what?
988
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:21,240
- Johnny.
- Give me your hand.
989
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:23,560
- What?
- I'm going to try something here.
990
00:49:24,240 --> 00:49:27,200
- What are you doing?
- Just a little something.
991
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:35,560
Oh.
992
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:37,680
- The souffl�s are done.
- No, the timer didn't go off.
993
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,800
No, no. I feel it.
I feel it. Watch.
994
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:52,320
- Those look beautiful.
- Thank you.
995
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,000
The one thing I can
actually do right.
996
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,560
- You have perfect timing.
- Thank you.
997
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:01,640
Come here.
998
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:06,720
Don't apologize.
999
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,400
He has this way
of calming me down.
1000
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:13,720
- A huge plus.
- Yeah.
1001
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:15,960
But then the whole
Lionel thing.
1002
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:20,040
I just worry and wonder,
would I be a good mother
to him?
1003
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:22,040
Don't worry.
It's not genetic.
1004
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,000
They've been through
so much, though,
1005
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:31,360
with Lionel's mom, like,
freaking out and splitting
when he was so young.
1006
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:35,160
I don't know, not that we're
anywhere near talking
about any of this yet.
1007
00:50:35,240 --> 00:50:38,440
Just the fact
that you're wondering,
though. God.
1008
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:42,720
I mean the fact is
you don't know either
of these guys that well.
1009
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,360
Who knows if Jason
even wants to have kids?
1010
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:46,720
JASON: Absolutely.
1011
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:48,760
Four kids.
1012
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:50,680
And I wanna name the first
one Charlie after my father
1013
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:52,360
and that works
if it's a boy or a girl.
1014
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:56,080
Then I want to design
a huge Craftsman house
for the whole brood.
1015
00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:57,160
The exhibit's in here.
1016
00:50:57,240 --> 00:51:00,360
Oh, no, no, no.
Don't let me in the museum.
Too many breakables.
1017
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,600
Don't worry. They're insured.
1018
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:05,120
Hey, listen.
1019
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,960
I'm sorry I lost my temper
with you the other day.
1020
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:11,040
You felt bad enough already.
1021
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,600
I can be a real ass
and I hate that about myself.
1022
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,560
Another family heirloom.
1023
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,480
He buys jewelry.
Well, it's a no-brainer.
He's the one.
1024
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:37,120
- He felt remorse, Mae.
- DAPHNE: Well, that's a lovely quality.
1025
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:39,640
No, he knew
he should feel remorse.
Oh, my God, Milly.
1026
00:51:39,720 --> 00:51:40,720
Those empanadas are amazing.
1027
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:43,400
- They're gonna be perfect for Mom's party.
- Oh, my party.
1028
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:46,600
- Mom, what about these for your party?
- Oh, shoes, please.
1029
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:49,320
Why are you making
such a big deal
over this dreaded event?
1030
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:51,240
Why are we celebrating
my descent into oblivion?
1031
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,680
Come on, Mom.
It's not that bad.
Snap out of it.
1032
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:57,840
Well, I mean, it is
a milestone, and actually,
I am taking stock of my life
1033
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,480
and trying to find
some peace and quiet
in my old age,
1034
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:03,720
so, Milly, will you please
bring Jason to the party?
1035
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:07,240
I would just love to meet him.
That's all I'm asking.
1036
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:09,520
I understand,
but isn't it my choice
who I bring?
1037
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:11,320
- I think it is.
- Thank you.
1038
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:13,080
All right.
1039
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:14,560
Okay.
1040
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:18,440
Oh.
1041
00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:20,600
(DAPHNE MOANING)
1042
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,000
Oh, my God.
1043
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:28,560
Mom, Eli says
that's what I say
right before I...
1044
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:30,200
No kidding? Me, too.
1045
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:31,520
And, you know, it was funny,
1046
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:33,800
the other night,
we hadn't had sex
in so long, by the third one,
1047
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:36,040
I was setting off
the car alarms
in the neighborhood,
1048
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:37,280
and dogs were barking...
1049
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:39,480
Three? Is that normal?
1050
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:41,920
Please. Everyone knows
I hold the record
in this family.
1051
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:48,640
Why are you so quiet?
1052
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,200
'Cause she's doing
the Oompa-Loompa
with two guys, Mom.
1053
00:52:52,240 --> 00:52:54,160
- Stop it.
- What?
1054
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:55,640
DAPHNE: Wait a minute.
1055
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:58,400
At this point,
are you doing it
with both of them at once?
1056
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:00,680
No. I'm not. Absolutely not.
1057
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:13,640
Honey, I've been thinking
about your situation
with Jason.
1058
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:17,280
Mom, I didn't ask for this.
It happened to me.
1059
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:23,160
(EXCLAIMING)
1060
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:25,440
So move on.
1061
00:53:36,720 --> 00:53:38,200
DAPHNE:
No. It happened to you.
1062
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:42,160
Things have gotten
so out of hand
I broke my first bundt cake.
1063
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:54,920
Has anybody seen my G.I. Joe?
1064
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:56,560
Believe me, it's not in here.
1065
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,400
I left it on the bed.
1066
00:53:58,480 --> 00:53:59,760
...that it happened to you.
1067
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:02,600
You're making me hate you
and I don't ever want to
see your face...
1068
00:54:05,240 --> 00:54:06,600
With that Johnny...
1069
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:07,680
(SCREAMS)
1070
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:10,600
Happy birthday, Mom.
1071
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:11,680
- Happy birthday, Mom.
- Happy birthday.
1072
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:13,920
MILLY: Your favorite butterscotch cake.
We made it.
1073
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,160
MAGGIE: Well, some of us made it.
MAE: We helped, okay?
1074
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,040
- It's really yummy. I tried some.
- All right.
1075
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:19,960
- Make a wish, make a wish.
- Make a wish, Mom.
1076
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:21,920
- Come on, make a wish, make a wish.
- Make a wish, make a wish.
1077
00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:36,960
(ALL CHEERING)
1078
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:39,040
- Happy birthday.
- We love you, Mom.
1079
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:41,440
I'd like to propose a toast.
1080
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:44,320
To the incredibly unique
Daphne Wilder,
1081
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:49,480
the fearless leader of
the Wilder women, who I hope
to someday call family.
1082
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:51,720
You've created
a wonderful family,
1083
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:54,160
and I hope when my folks
stop through town,
1084
00:54:54,240 --> 00:54:56,880
that Milly'll charm them
as much as she's charmed me.
1085
00:54:57,960 --> 00:54:59,200
Cheers.
1086
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:00,960
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
1087
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:02,640
- Cheers.
- WOMAN: Cheers.
1088
00:55:02,720 --> 00:55:04,360
Thank you so much.
1089
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:06,160
Thank you, thank you.
1090
00:55:06,240 --> 00:55:09,360
- What was that exactly?
- Did you know he was gonna do that?
1091
00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:13,200
Did he just propose?
Because I think
he just proposed.
1092
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:15,440
I think he did.
The question is, to who?
1093
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:18,000
Maggie, stop being a killjoy.
All right, girls,
what do you think?
1094
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:19,880
- He seems well-read.
- He's tall.
1095
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:22,120
- Okay, you guys don't like him at all.
- Don't listen to your sisters.
1096
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:24,280
For God's sake, sweetie,
do not listen to them.
1097
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:25,320
Here's what I'm thinking.
1098
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:27,520
I'm thinking his parents
are from Connecticut.
1099
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:28,840
They're a little conservative,
1100
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:31,080
so maybe you should
just wear your pleated skirt.
1101
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:33,480
- Just this once, honey?
- Stop.
1102
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:35,880
It's just a gesture,
just make them
more comfortable.
1103
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:39,240
I understand it's a gesture
but, Mom,
this is moving very quickly.
1104
00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:42,240
- He just said all of this. It's...
- Milly, don't fight it.
1105
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:43,400
This is the way
it's supposed to be.
1106
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:45,120
You're just not used
to feeling pursued and adored.
1107
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:47,360
I hate pleated skirts.
1108
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:50,440
Isn't this about the time
we were going to sing?
1109
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:52,680
- That's a great idea. Come on, Mils.
- Yes, yes.
1110
00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:56,840
Well, I met him on a Sunday
1111
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:58,160
My voice.
1112
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:06,800
And I missed him on Monday
1113
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,600
Not bad. What do you
got going, Mom?
1114
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:15,840
And I dated him Wednesday
1115
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:23,000
I said bye-bye, baby
1116
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:24,480
- Nice.
- Yes.
1117
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,960
Milly? Will you take
the soprano?
1118
00:56:40,840 --> 00:56:42,600
You know, that's it.
That's it.
1119
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:44,720
No, no. You're so
out of control.
1120
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:45,840
What'd I do this time?
1121
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:47,720
You're forcing me.
Jason's here.
You're making me...
1122
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:50,200
So, Jason, can I get you
another one of these?
1123
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:51,200
Will I need one?
1124
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:53,080
Oh, yeah.
They're just getting started.
1125
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:54,520
Who wants lavender ice cream?
1126
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:55,880
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no.
1127
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:58,600
You're not gonna go.
You're out of control.
Milly's right.
1128
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:00,960
- I don't know how she can take it.
- I can't. I can't take it anymore.
1129
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:05,800
Well, excuse me for just
one moment here. I thought
that this was my birthday.
1130
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,400
My very big, special birthday.
1131
00:57:08,480 --> 00:57:10,040
Yes, Mom. It's your big,
special birthday.
1132
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:11,080
That's how you should remember
1133
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:12,280
- you're too old...
- Old?
1134
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:15,080
Not too old, but too old
to be doing this to Milly.
1135
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:17,000
You're pushing her
like you pushed her
into Girl Scouts.
1136
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:18,720
Thank you very much.
I'm not ten years old anymore.
1137
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:19,800
- You have to stop.
- Yeah.
1138
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:21,000
You have to change
at some point.
1139
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:25,520
Fine. But I just want you
girls to understand something
about motherhood, okay?
1140
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:26,720
Mom.
1141
00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:27,800
- Okay?
- MAGGIE: Yeah, okay.
1142
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:30,480
I mean, it is the most
impossible love.
1143
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:33,920
You tell me when it ends.
You tell me when it stops.
1144
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:39,040
All I know is, it's absolutely
fine for me to teach you
how to walk and talk,
1145
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:43,080
and then you grow up and you
head off in the wrong
direction toward a cliff.
1146
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:45,960
And I'm supposed to just
stand there and wave and go,
1147
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:50,320
"Well, kids, good luck.
It's Mom. I'm here."
Well, I can't do that.
1148
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:53,240
What am I supposed to do, huh?
1149
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:58,200
Am I supposed to just put my
feet up at the end of the day
and say to myself,
1150
00:57:58,280 --> 00:58:03,880
"Well, you know,
they're on their own
and she says she's fine."
1151
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:05,000
Well, you won't be.
1152
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:06,680
Just stop it. God damn it.
1153
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:08,880
You are making me crazy
and you're never gonna change
1154
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:10,440
'cause you don't even know
when you're doing it.
1155
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:13,040
Oh, well, I am gonna stop
as in right now.
1156
00:58:13,120 --> 00:58:17,920
So, let me tell you,
I am washing my hands
of your emotional problems.
1157
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:22,600
I'm just a visitor
with a limited day pass
from here on in.
1158
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:25,120
Oh, my God, I can't even talk.
1159
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:26,120
Mom.
1160
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:27,680
(DAPHNE CRYING)
1161
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:30,280
- Oh, my...
- Great.
1162
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:33,480
She loses her voice
and we are three days
from Hungarian flu.
1163
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:35,440
You guys, the last time
I had her at my house,
1164
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:37,720
Derek and I were in therapy
for two months.
I can't do it with this.
1165
00:58:37,800 --> 00:58:40,200
No, no, no. I know
it's my turn technically,
but you cannot...
1166
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:42,120
We can't be in the same room
together right now.
1167
00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:43,920
Rock, Paper, Scissor.
1168
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:46,560
Rock, Paper...
Fine, fine, fine.
1169
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:48,200
Hi. Oh, Ma, I'll take that.
1170
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:50,640
We know you're about to
get sick, so we're gonna
Rock, Paper, Scissors
1171
00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:52,040
to see whose house
you're gonna stay at.
1172
00:58:52,080 --> 00:58:54,280
'Cause you know what, Mom?
We all want you to stay.
1173
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:55,560
We're fighting for you.
1174
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:58,080
- Let's declare, guys. Please?
- Okay.
1175
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:07,560
MAGGIE: Oh, you win, Mils.
That's great.
1176
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:10,960
Have fun, you guys.
1177
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:13,000
What for?
1178
00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:16,600
'Cause I'm here with you.
Women prefer him, as a rule.
1179
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:19,080
Shall we take a walk?
1180
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:21,160
Yes, let's.
1181
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:22,480
What?
1182
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:23,680
Where is he now?
1183
00:59:23,720 --> 00:59:26,760
"You don't need to
take care of me."
1184
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:30,880
"Go out and have fun
with Jason."
1185
00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:33,960
No. No. Why?
1186
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:38,280
"Because I said so."
1187
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:41,160
No. I'm not leaving.
1188
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:44,520
They say dogs feel disoriented
when they get debarked.
1189
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:48,360
You're nice, too.
1190
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:49,800
No.
1191
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:52,960
- "Yes."
- "No, please."
1192
00:59:56,680 --> 01:00:00,000
"Now there was a man
who knew how to be a man."
1193
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:01,000
Mmm-hmm.
1194
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:04,960
"There's turkey meatloaf
in the fridge."
1195
01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:08,640
"What's an orgasm feel like?"
1196
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:28,680
Amazing?
1197
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:31,680
I don't know. Amazing, and...
1198
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:32,920
Like...
1199
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:37,440
Like being
totally out of control.
1200
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:39,520
Just like...
1201
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:45,000
"No, I wouldn't like that."
1202
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:48,400
Yes, you would.
Oh, Mom, no, no, no.
It's not like being drunk.
1203
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:51,920
It's just satisfying and...
1204
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:55,440
Like you're out of your body,
1205
01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:58,880
but you're in your body,
and your toes curl under...
1206
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:02,320
That doesn't sound delicious,
I know, but, God,
it's so delicious, Mom.
1207
01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:05,000
And you can laugh or cry,
but like a good cry.
1208
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:07,520
I mean, I've cried before.
It's just like...
1209
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:15,240
You know, just...
1210
01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:18,560
Oh, my God,
I can't believe
I just said that to you.
1211
01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:22,040
I'm not explaining it right.
I'm not explaining it right.
1212
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:26,880
Didn't you ever
have one with Dad?
1213
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:34,280
"He said he didn't have
all day
and he worked nights."
1214
01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:43,880
Oh, Mom.
1215
01:02:33,920 --> 01:02:35,840
"Don't tell your sisters
I asked."
1216
01:02:57,120 --> 01:02:58,760
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
1217
01:03:16,240 --> 01:03:17,400
Hello?
1218
01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:19,880
No, I'm sorry.
She can't come
to the phone right now.
1219
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:21,680
Can I take a message?
1220
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:26,320
You're calling about
the personal ad?
1221
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:31,680
Are you sure that you have
the right number?
1222
01:03:31,760 --> 01:03:33,920
Yeah, Daphne Wilder.
1223
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:37,160
Okay. Bye-bye.
1224
01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:42,400
MILLY: Just a little
belated birthday gift.
1225
01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:44,200
You like it?
1226
01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:47,680
See, it brought me luck,
so I thought maybe
it would bring you luck.
1227
01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:49,640
Oh, do you like it, Mom?
1228
01:03:50,440 --> 01:03:52,840
Mom? I know.
1229
01:03:54,680 --> 01:03:57,480
I know all about
your little ad.
1230
01:03:57,560 --> 01:03:59,320
And I think it's so great.
1231
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:02,120
It's so bold
and so brave of you
1232
01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:04,520
and finally it shows me
that you heard us
at your birthday party.
1233
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:06,160
You're trying to live
your own life.
1234
01:04:06,240 --> 01:04:07,680
And I want you to know, Mom,
1235
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:11,360
you don't have to go through
the personals to find love,
'cause that can be so...
1236
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:12,800
Terrifying.
1237
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:19,880
Jason's uncle is coming
into town next week
with his parents
1238
01:04:19,920 --> 01:04:21,560
and he's dying
to meet you, Mom.
1239
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:23,800
Jason says he's, like,
the most amazing guy
in the entire world
1240
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,640
and I haven't even
really told him about the...
1241
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:28,000
All right, all right, fine.
Fine.
1242
01:04:30,600 --> 01:04:32,480
Why didn't you marry?
1243
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:35,320
I didn't know what the war
was like then.
1244
01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:37,920
If I had it to do over again,
I'd marry him.
1245
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:38,960
(DOORBELL RINGING)
1246
01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:42,480
When I joined up,
I remember...
1247
01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:48,840
(GASPS)
1248
01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:49,920
Hello.
1249
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:52,080
Is this Milly Wilder's home?
1250
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:56,040
I'm Joe Dresden,
I'm Johnny's father.
1251
01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:58,760
Are you Milly's mom?
1252
01:05:03,360 --> 01:05:05,800
This is Lionel,
this is Johnny's boy.
1253
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:08,640
"Daphne."
1254
01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:12,200
"Can't talk."
Well, it's overrated.
1255
01:05:14,120 --> 01:05:15,760
Sign? Do you sign?
1256
01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:22,280
"Laryingitis."
1257
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,760
Laryngitis.
That's the alternate
spelling, I guess.
1258
01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:28,520
I know Johnny had a date
with Milly tonight
and I was hoping to catch him.
1259
01:05:28,560 --> 01:05:29,880
I can't reach him
on his cellphone.
1260
01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:35,120
I stupidly misplaced my keys
and I can't get back
into our house.
1261
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:55,800
They're beautiful.
1262
01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:58,960
Three girls, huh?
And all by yourself.
1263
01:05:59,240 --> 01:06:01,400
That couldn't have been easy.
1264
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:05,760
Yeah, yeah, I know,
but still, it had to be tough.
1265
01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:11,760
"There's tougher things."
1266
01:06:11,840 --> 01:06:14,680
Yeah, like trying
to give you a compliment.
1267
01:06:19,400 --> 01:06:22,880
You know,
what could be good
for that throat
1268
01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:25,440
is a couple of drops
of brandy.
1269
01:06:26,640 --> 01:06:29,200
Mine's feeling
a little scratchy, too.
1270
01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:43,080
MAN ON TV:
Shall we take a walk?
1271
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:44,680
WOMAN ON TV:
We could get along.
1272
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:45,760
Couldn't we?
1273
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:49,120
- "You're sweet."
- "No, I'm not."
1274
01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:50,880
Yes, you're a dear.
1275
01:06:52,120 --> 01:06:53,600
What are you
thinking about now?
1276
01:06:53,640 --> 01:06:56,960
About how nice it is.
And you're nice, too.
1277
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:04,920
Besides,
you're so very beautiful.
1278
01:07:07,240 --> 01:07:10,480
I'd be very glad to have you
kiss me now if you don't mind.
1279
01:07:14,840 --> 01:07:16,880
Women prefer him,
as a rule.
1280
01:07:23,680 --> 01:07:25,800
- "Where is he now?"
- "Who?"
1281
01:07:25,880 --> 01:07:28,920
- "The boy you're engaged to."
- "He's dead."
1282
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:35,440
He was killed in the Somme.
1283
01:07:35,520 --> 01:07:37,160
Were you engaged long?
1284
01:07:37,240 --> 01:07:38,840
Eight years.
We grew up together.
1285
01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:43,040
- "Why didn't you marry?"
- "I didn't know what the war was like then."
1286
01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:49,160
If I had it to do over again,
I'd marry him.
1287
01:07:54,920 --> 01:07:57,160
When I joined up,
I remember having
this silly idea
1288
01:07:57,240 --> 01:07:59,760
that he might come
to the hospital where I was.
1289
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:24,680
Now we've got our basic
tomato sauce. I took out
about two-thirds of it,
1290
01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:26,240
because if there's
any mistake
1291
01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:30,120
that American cooks make
when they're cooking pasta,
1292
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:32,120
is that they tend to
over-sauce it.
1293
01:08:32,200 --> 01:08:33,680
They put too much stuff on.
1294
01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:35,400
In Italy, the main event
is the noodle
1295
01:08:35,480 --> 01:08:38,600
and the rest is just
the dressing, very much like
we dress salads.
1296
01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:41,600
Now, I've got it in there.
I'm allowing it to start...
1297
01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:49,040
Hello.
1298
01:08:54,920 --> 01:08:55,960
MILLY: Hi.
JOHNNY: Hi.
1299
01:09:00,040 --> 01:09:00,960
Hi.
1300
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:03,280
Hi.
1301
01:09:03,360 --> 01:09:05,600
We were worried sick
about you.
1302
01:09:06,200 --> 01:09:09,600
- It's nice to see you again, Milly.
- You, too.
1303
01:09:10,080 --> 01:09:11,520
It's a great night, isn't it?
1304
01:09:11,560 --> 01:09:13,840
- It's one for the books.
- MILLY: Yeah.
1305
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:17,000
She has a 'gina, too.
1306
01:09:17,680 --> 01:09:18,800
Lionel.
1307
01:09:20,400 --> 01:09:21,640
As Grants,
1308
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:24,520
we Grant you health,
we Grant you happiness,
1309
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:27,440
we Grant you someone else
to water your plants.
1310
01:09:28,120 --> 01:09:29,080
Cheers.
1311
01:09:30,440 --> 01:09:32,000
- Definitely.
- Cheers.
1312
01:09:32,040 --> 01:09:33,440
Reggie's the toast giver.
1313
01:09:33,480 --> 01:09:35,240
- He's the real talker in the family.
- I see.
1314
01:09:35,320 --> 01:09:37,160
Can somebody get me
another bourbon and soda
on the rocks?
1315
01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:38,880
Oh, no, no, no,
you can't order bourbon...
1316
01:09:38,920 --> 01:09:41,480
They seem to be
hitting it off.
1317
01:09:41,560 --> 01:09:42,840
Definitely. Yeah.
1318
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,720
- Beautiful. I don't think so.
- And then I want you to try the buffalo filet
1319
01:09:46,760 --> 01:09:48,400
- while we're here.
- Yeah.
1320
01:09:48,480 --> 01:09:51,240
You know, the buffalo was an
endangered species up until
a couple of years ago
1321
01:09:51,320 --> 01:09:52,320
and now we're eating them.
1322
01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:54,120
Isn't this great, Mom?
1323
01:09:56,360 --> 01:09:57,920
...and you look out
over the fields
1324
01:09:57,960 --> 01:10:00,720
and what you see are herds
of commercial buffalo.
1325
01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:02,840
And then you also see
herds of...
1326
01:10:03,400 --> 01:10:06,240
I had a great time.
Please tell your parents
good night for me, okay?
1327
01:10:06,280 --> 01:10:08,240
- Good night.
- Good night.
1328
01:10:16,520 --> 01:10:19,240
Tell me you're not seeing
that guy. Are you, Milly?
1329
01:10:20,360 --> 01:10:22,080
Yes, but I don't...
1330
01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:24,240
Actually, the "yes"
is all I needed to know.
1331
01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:26,960
No, no, no,
but the "but" part's
really important too.
1332
01:10:27,040 --> 01:10:28,880
But what? Not him.
1333
01:10:29,480 --> 01:10:30,440
Why?
1334
01:10:30,520 --> 01:10:33,320
'Cause he looks like some guy
your mother would love.
1335
01:10:33,360 --> 01:10:34,400
Johnny, wait, though.
1336
01:10:34,440 --> 01:10:36,520
This is really difficult
for me and I've never
been here before.
1337
01:10:36,600 --> 01:10:37,800
I don't know how to
navigate this.
1338
01:10:37,880 --> 01:10:40,840
- Oh, poor thing.
- Don't talk to me that way.
1339
01:10:40,920 --> 01:10:42,400
Oh, I'm sorry.
What was I thinking?
1340
01:10:42,480 --> 01:10:45,640
You're involved with this guy
to the point where
you're meeting his family
1341
01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:48,320
and I should be careful
how I'm talking to you?
1342
01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:52,200
Are you sleeping with him?
1343
01:10:57,240 --> 01:10:59,360
I wouldn't say it that way.
1344
01:11:01,360 --> 01:11:03,560
Well, what way
would you say it?
1345
01:11:08,080 --> 01:11:10,440
Are you going to stop
seeing him?
1346
01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:15,400
- That pause says it all.
- No, it doesn't.
1347
01:11:15,480 --> 01:11:17,120
That's not true.
That's not true.
1348
01:11:17,160 --> 01:11:19,440
Who are you?
I can't even look at you.
1349
01:11:25,080 --> 01:11:26,280
Oh, God.
1350
01:11:26,840 --> 01:11:28,040
Oh, God.
1351
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:32,200
MAN ON TAPE:
The train has been delayed.
1352
01:11:32,280 --> 01:11:33,920
(MAN REPEATING IN ITALIAN)
1353
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:36,520
(REPEATING IN ITALIAN)
1354
01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:39,560
(REPEATING IN ITALIAN)
1355
01:11:40,360 --> 01:11:43,600
- "The train has been delayed."
- "Scusi", I'm gonna go check on the souffl�s.
1356
01:11:43,680 --> 01:11:45,480
(JASON REPEATING IN ITALIAN)
1357
01:11:54,600 --> 01:11:55,880
Oh, no.
1358
01:11:58,040 --> 01:11:59,320
Oh, no.
1359
01:12:00,160 --> 01:12:04,040
JASON'S MOTHER:
Jason's finally met
such a wonderful girl.
1360
01:12:04,120 --> 01:12:08,680
She's so sweet.
She has the loveliest spirit
about her.
1361
01:12:08,760 --> 01:12:13,080
But I still can't believe
he found her on the Internet.
1362
01:12:13,160 --> 01:12:15,000
Not like in our day.
1363
01:12:15,080 --> 01:12:16,360
That somehow reminds me
1364
01:12:16,440 --> 01:12:19,760
of people writing
a phone number
on the bathroom wall.
1365
01:12:26,240 --> 01:12:29,240
- Sweetie, I think that we should...
- Are you dating somebody else?
1366
01:12:29,320 --> 01:12:30,240
What?
1367
01:12:30,960 --> 01:12:32,720
I just heard your mom
on the phone talk about
1368
01:12:32,800 --> 01:12:34,960
how you're dating some girl
you met on the Internet.
1369
01:12:35,040 --> 01:12:37,320
Oh, it's nothing
like that at all.
1370
01:12:37,360 --> 01:12:40,840
I'm surprised
and I don't even know
if I have the right to be,
1371
01:12:40,920 --> 01:12:42,600
'cause to be honest,
I feel like I need to tell you
1372
01:12:42,640 --> 01:12:45,640
that I'm also dating
somebody else.
1373
01:12:48,120 --> 01:12:52,240
Well, first of all, to be
honest, you didn't need to
be so honest.
1374
01:12:52,840 --> 01:12:55,040
I'm not seeing anyone but you.
1375
01:12:55,680 --> 01:12:59,880
But since we're being honest,
this is something
that I was saving for later.
1376
01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:06,080
What?
1377
01:13:08,520 --> 01:13:10,200
My mother's personal ad?
1378
01:13:14,440 --> 01:13:17,200
Oh, my God.
1379
01:13:17,680 --> 01:13:19,640
You sounded just like her there.
1380
01:13:19,720 --> 01:13:21,200
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1381
01:13:21,280 --> 01:13:23,400
Hey, hey, hey.
What does it matter
how we met?
1382
01:13:23,440 --> 01:13:25,440
You and my mom have been
totally scheming
1383
01:13:25,480 --> 01:13:27,600
and now I know exactly
why she pushed me on you.
1384
01:13:27,680 --> 01:13:29,880
Because she was voting
for you. She found you.
1385
01:13:29,960 --> 01:13:31,880
Yeah, and it doesn't
take anything away from us.
1386
01:13:31,960 --> 01:13:35,440
What matters is that
we did meet and how good
this is between us.
1387
01:13:35,520 --> 01:13:36,520
And the truth of that...
1388
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:38,840
The truth? Where's the truth?
Where's the truth?
1389
01:13:38,920 --> 01:13:41,480
Because you've been living
a lie and I've been
lying to you, Jason.
1390
01:13:41,520 --> 01:13:42,840
And it doesn't
change anything.
1391
01:13:42,920 --> 01:13:44,640
How does that not
change everything?
1392
01:13:44,680 --> 01:13:48,840
Because you're here.
I think you already
made your choice.
1393
01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:50,680
But if it helps, I'll say it.
1394
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:53,840
Stop seeing him.
Then you and I can get closer.
1395
01:13:54,680 --> 01:13:57,960
Close enough to spend
the rest of our lives
together.
1396
01:13:58,440 --> 01:14:00,160
I knew I had you
the day I met you.
1397
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:01,760
How could you know
something like that?
1398
01:14:01,800 --> 01:14:03,040
'Cause you were so nervous,
1399
01:14:03,080 --> 01:14:06,440
you laughed like a hyena
in that beautiful polka dot
dress of yours.
1400
01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:07,640
Really?
1401
01:14:07,720 --> 01:14:08,640
Mmm-hmm.
1402
01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:16,080
I'll tell you one thing, though.
1403
01:14:16,160 --> 01:14:18,080
You did not have me
the moment that we met
1404
01:14:18,160 --> 01:14:19,680
because I wasn't even sure
that I liked the fact
1405
01:14:19,760 --> 01:14:22,960
that your staff talked
about you behind your back
at the dessert table.
1406
01:14:23,040 --> 01:14:24,800
And, excuse me,
but, truth be told,
1407
01:14:24,840 --> 01:14:26,360
I didn't like anything
that you ordered for me
1408
01:14:26,440 --> 01:14:28,120
on our first date,
except the calamari.
1409
01:14:28,200 --> 01:14:31,000
And okay, fine, yes,
it was nice to not have
to think for a change,
1410
01:14:31,080 --> 01:14:33,760
but who wants someone
who doesn't think?
1411
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:38,080
Look, and sometimes you laugh
when I cry and say, "Huh?"
when I make perfect sense.
1412
01:14:38,160 --> 01:14:42,600
And never, ever, in my life
have I burned a chocolate
souffl� until now
1413
01:14:42,680 --> 01:14:44,040
and that, in and of itself,
1414
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:47,520
oh, my God, should have
told me I don't feel
like myself around you.
1415
01:14:47,560 --> 01:14:50,880
And I would have decided that
a long time ago
if it weren't for my mother.
1416
01:14:50,960 --> 01:14:53,800
Because who wants someone
who laughs like a hyena
1417
01:14:53,840 --> 01:14:57,720
in a polka dot dress
that my mother made me buy?
1418
01:15:00,320 --> 01:15:01,920
I love that dress.
1419
01:15:03,880 --> 01:15:05,280
Take her out.
1420
01:15:18,680 --> 01:15:19,720
Hey.
1421
01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:24,960
- Stuart, this is an emergency.
- Well, should I wait?
1422
01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:26,760
- Let's reschedule.
- But I'm suicidal.
1423
01:15:26,800 --> 01:15:29,640
Oh, wow, this is making me
feel like when I was
the last pick in kickball...
1424
01:15:29,680 --> 01:15:32,520
Right and that's exactly
where we'll begin next week.
1425
01:15:32,560 --> 01:15:36,640
Maggie, you promised me
after Willie Matthews,
1426
01:15:36,680 --> 01:15:38,120
you would never
lie to me again.
1427
01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:40,640
- Oh, Milly Woo, Milly Boo.
- Stop.
1428
01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:43,000
Well, I'm sorry.
Mommy made me promise
not to say anything
1429
01:15:43,080 --> 01:15:44,720
- or she'd be furious.
- Mommy?
1430
01:15:44,800 --> 01:15:48,600
Mommy made you promise?
Where is your own moral code?
1431
01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:51,080
Your adulthood?
Your sisterhood?
1432
01:15:51,160 --> 01:15:52,360
Just...
1433
01:15:55,640 --> 01:15:57,520
- I'm feeling rejected by you.
- Okay.
1434
01:15:57,600 --> 01:15:59,280
And it's bringing up memories
of summer camp
1435
01:15:59,360 --> 01:16:02,640
when Jimmy Feldon and
Eric Fishman both transferred
out of my bunk.
1436
01:16:02,720 --> 01:16:04,400
I totally understand, Stuart.
1437
01:16:04,480 --> 01:16:07,560
Come back today
and we'll do a two-hour
session at 3:00 p.m.
1438
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:10,120
Listen, you're right.
1439
01:16:10,200 --> 01:16:12,880
I didn't handle this well
and I understand
you feel betrayed.
1440
01:16:12,960 --> 01:16:15,440
But, really,
isn't some of this anger
a little misplaced?
1441
01:16:15,520 --> 01:16:18,040
No, no, Maggie.
It's placed exactly
where it should be.
1442
01:16:18,120 --> 01:16:20,760
And there is plenty to
go around, so don't worry,
Mom will be getting hers.
1443
01:16:20,840 --> 01:16:22,360
- Okay...
- Maggie.
1444
01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:26,080
Stuart, I am asking you
to empower yourself and leave.
1445
01:16:26,160 --> 01:16:28,200
This could be a huge day
for you, Stuart.
1446
01:16:28,280 --> 01:16:31,680
This makes me feel like when
I was 13 and no one came
to my bar mitzvah.
1447
01:16:31,760 --> 01:16:33,480
Why didn't they come?
I don't get it.
1448
01:16:33,520 --> 01:16:35,280
Stuart, you have
a blood sugar problem, okay?
1449
01:16:35,360 --> 01:16:36,960
Just get some lunch,
you'll be fine.
1450
01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:39,200
Honey, I know this is painful.
1451
01:16:39,240 --> 01:16:40,840
Do you have any snacks in here?
1452
01:16:40,920 --> 01:16:42,280
Third shelf on the right.
1453
01:16:42,320 --> 01:16:43,760
Honey, instead of blaming Mom,
1454
01:16:43,840 --> 01:16:46,880
you should really focus on
the fact that both of these
guys went along with it.
1455
01:16:46,920 --> 01:16:49,840
I am, I am. Because
I just told Jason that...
1456
01:16:50,760 --> 01:16:52,040
Guys...
1457
01:16:54,120 --> 01:16:55,320
Guys?
1458
01:16:59,200 --> 01:17:00,760
That was plural, wasn't it?
1459
01:17:00,840 --> 01:17:02,720
I feel like I don't know
what you guys
are talking about
1460
01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:04,800
and it's making me feel
very much out of the loop,
1461
01:17:04,840 --> 01:17:06,520
and it's making me want
to jump out the window.
1462
01:17:06,600 --> 01:17:09,320
Stuart. For ten years,
my sister has sat here
1463
01:17:09,360 --> 01:17:12,000
and told me that you're
about to commit suicide.
1464
01:17:12,040 --> 01:17:13,160
Well?
1465
01:17:15,640 --> 01:17:18,080
You mean she's been
talking about me?
1466
01:17:19,880 --> 01:17:22,680
Wow. God.
1467
01:17:24,400 --> 01:17:27,240
Mom? Are you there?
Pick up the phone, Mom.
1468
01:17:28,200 --> 01:17:29,440
Hello?
1469
01:17:31,880 --> 01:17:33,800
You've reached Daphne...
You've reached Daphne...
1470
01:17:33,880 --> 01:17:34,960
You've reached Daphne Wilder.
1471
01:17:35,040 --> 01:17:37,640
Please leave a message
after the tone.
1472
01:17:40,200 --> 01:17:42,760
Oh, my God.
Oh, thank you, dear God.
1473
01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:50,080
Mom.
1474
01:17:57,000 --> 01:17:58,040
Mom.
1475
01:17:58,120 --> 01:17:59,400
DAPHNE: Yeah.
1476
01:18:03,640 --> 01:18:04,760
Yeah?
1477
01:18:07,880 --> 01:18:08,800
DAPHNE: Yes!
1478
01:18:09,160 --> 01:18:11,000
- Oh, my God.
- Yes, oh, yes!
1479
01:18:12,320 --> 01:18:14,080
Oh, my God!
1480
01:18:14,160 --> 01:18:15,360
(DAPHNE SCREAMING)
1481
01:18:15,400 --> 01:18:17,080
Yes. Yes.
1482
01:18:17,160 --> 01:18:18,880
Yes!
1483
01:18:18,920 --> 01:18:19,880
(COOPER HOWLING)
1484
01:18:20,680 --> 01:18:22,440
Okay, so the orange-cranberry
muffins are in here?
1485
01:18:22,480 --> 01:18:23,480
They're in there.
1486
01:18:23,560 --> 01:18:25,240
And the ones with the nuts
are in here too?
1487
01:18:25,320 --> 01:18:26,920
They're in there, too.
1488
01:18:26,960 --> 01:18:28,200
I had a little trouble
with the frosting,
1489
01:18:28,280 --> 01:18:29,720
but I know how much
you love butter cream.
1490
01:18:29,800 --> 01:18:32,720
Mother, I told you
on the phone I need distance.
1491
01:18:33,160 --> 01:18:35,320
Okay. But it's a new recipe.
1492
01:18:35,400 --> 01:18:38,440
Tangerine instead of orange.
For a clean slate?
1493
01:18:38,520 --> 01:18:40,960
Why don't you get it?
I don't want to see you.
1494
01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:45,440
Milly, if I'm guilty of any
crime, it's just that I've
just loved you too much.
1495
01:18:45,520 --> 01:18:46,560
Here.
1496
01:18:47,880 --> 01:18:50,600
Milly?
It was just so you. I...
1497
01:18:57,760 --> 01:18:58,880
Milly?
1498
01:19:27,400 --> 01:19:30,240
This isn't the way
it was supposed to be.
1499
01:19:30,680 --> 01:19:32,840
Welcome to life.
1500
01:19:32,880 --> 01:19:37,640
Yeah, but I mean,
how can I be happy
if she's not happy, hmm?
1501
01:19:42,440 --> 01:19:44,200
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
1502
01:19:44,280 --> 01:19:46,720
Hey, it's Milly.
Leave me a message.
1503
01:19:47,480 --> 01:19:51,000
Milly? It's your mother,
Daphne Wilder.
1504
01:19:51,720 --> 01:19:53,240
Please pick up.
1505
01:19:54,360 --> 01:19:56,080
It's been four days.
1506
01:19:58,920 --> 01:20:00,000
Okay.
1507
01:20:05,120 --> 01:20:07,040
What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do?
1508
01:20:07,120 --> 01:20:08,560
What are... Nothing.
1509
01:20:09,360 --> 01:20:10,920
Just do nothing.
1510
01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:19,760
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
1511
01:20:19,840 --> 01:20:22,280
Hey, it's Milly.
Leave me a message.
1512
01:20:22,360 --> 01:20:24,200
Hi, Milly.
This is your mother.
1513
01:20:24,240 --> 01:20:27,920
Hopefully, you still have
a mental picture of me.
1514
01:20:28,000 --> 01:20:31,000
We have the same hands
and earlobes
1515
01:20:31,080 --> 01:20:33,960
and love of Bauer pottery.
1516
01:20:34,480 --> 01:20:37,440
I know that you asked me
not to call you
1517
01:20:38,120 --> 01:20:39,040
and I respect that.
1518
01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:41,840
I just thought that
you might like to know
1519
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:45,480
that I found Grandma's recipe
for your favorite
Lady Baltimore cake.
1520
01:20:45,880 --> 01:20:47,680
The one from my
third birthday.
1521
01:20:47,720 --> 01:20:49,960
The one from
your third birthday.
1522
01:20:50,080 --> 01:20:52,040
You know what, Milly?
Okay, you were right
about Johnny.
1523
01:20:52,120 --> 01:20:53,840
Obviously,
he has more character.
1524
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:56,160
I mean,
he's really a good guy.
1525
01:20:56,360 --> 01:21:00,800
And you should know
that he never saw that ad,
1526
01:21:00,880 --> 01:21:02,920
and, in fact,
we met by chance.
1527
01:21:03,040 --> 01:21:06,000
He was just an
innocent bystander.
1528
01:21:09,600 --> 01:21:13,000
I know that I'm
saying too much.
I've learned my lesson.
1529
01:21:13,160 --> 01:21:14,160
Good.
1530
01:21:14,360 --> 01:21:18,120
Because, Milly,
it's your life.
1531
01:21:18,720 --> 01:21:22,680
Yup, that's right.
That's absolutely right.
1532
01:21:24,840 --> 01:21:27,280
Hey, it's Milly.
Leave me a message.
1533
01:21:27,360 --> 01:21:32,160
DAPHNE: I know you're in there
and it's fine with me that
you've chosen not to pick up.
1534
01:21:33,480 --> 01:21:37,480
But, Milly,
if you're in any way
still pulled to Johnny,
1535
01:21:37,560 --> 01:21:41,160
then please don't let
your pride or our differences
1536
01:21:41,240 --> 01:21:43,200
come between you
and getting what you want
1537
01:21:43,280 --> 01:21:47,600
otherwise, honey,
you're gonna end up
like some pathetic character
1538
01:21:47,680 --> 01:21:49,760
in a Tennessee Williams play.
1539
01:21:50,840 --> 01:21:53,600
Believe me,
I know what I'm talking about.
1540
01:21:55,880 --> 01:21:56,960
Okay.
1541
01:22:17,680 --> 01:22:18,880
Milly...
1542
01:22:19,680 --> 01:22:20,800
Milly?
1543
01:22:22,960 --> 01:22:25,400
I never meant to
hurt you, sweetie.
1544
01:22:26,440 --> 01:22:31,960
And I promise I will never
ever interfere ever again.
1545
01:22:36,520 --> 01:22:38,720
I was, I was only, I mean...
1546
01:22:42,600 --> 01:22:45,280
I guess what I'm trying to say is
1547
01:22:49,400 --> 01:22:52,920
that I was just
trying to protect you
from becoming me.
1548
01:22:54,680 --> 01:22:56,160
My sweet girl.
1549
01:23:00,840 --> 01:23:01,920
Mom?
1550
01:23:05,480 --> 01:23:06,760
Hi, honey.
1551
01:23:11,080 --> 01:23:12,440
I miss you.
1552
01:23:14,080 --> 01:23:15,680
I miss you, too.
1553
01:23:24,840 --> 01:23:26,600
Solo on the four chord.
1554
01:23:31,400 --> 01:23:33,720
Alternate the bass line, will you?
1555
01:23:38,800 --> 01:23:40,960
Too late for spring sign-up.
1556
01:23:41,000 --> 01:23:42,440
I've actually been here before.
1557
01:23:42,520 --> 01:23:46,480
I came once on a Tuesday
when it was closed,
and I just wanted to...
1558
01:23:46,560 --> 01:23:49,000
You know, I can't hear you.
I'm sorry.
1559
01:23:50,040 --> 01:23:51,200
Please.
1560
01:23:57,840 --> 01:23:59,200
I miss you.
1561
01:24:01,200 --> 01:24:02,560
I miss us
1562
01:24:04,280 --> 01:24:05,400
and I'm not seeing anybody.
1563
01:24:05,480 --> 01:24:06,640
That doesn't change
anything for us, Milly.
1564
01:24:06,720 --> 01:24:09,960
Yeah, but Johnny, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry,
I'm so deeply sorry,
1565
01:24:10,040 --> 01:24:13,440
and I wish I could find
a less clich� word
for sorry, but...
1566
01:24:16,320 --> 01:24:19,600
It was an aberration.
It's not who I am,
1567
01:24:19,680 --> 01:24:23,120
and I know
we can't start over,
but maybe we could...
1568
01:24:25,200 --> 01:24:27,560
Maybe we could try this again.
1569
01:24:31,040 --> 01:24:33,120
I need to get back up there.
1570
01:24:47,720 --> 01:24:51,480
LIONEL: Okay, you're driving
a bus. Seven hundred
and fifty people get on.
1571
01:24:51,560 --> 01:24:52,880
Two get off.
1572
01:24:53,280 --> 01:24:55,120
Thirty thousand
seventy-one get on.
1573
01:24:55,200 --> 01:24:56,800
Four hundred and five get off.
1574
01:24:56,840 --> 01:24:59,240
A thousand get on
and nine hundred
and ninety-nine get off.
1575
01:24:59,280 --> 01:25:00,760
Get off.
1576
01:25:00,840 --> 01:25:03,240
What color are
the bus driver's eyes?
1577
01:25:03,560 --> 01:25:04,640
I don't know.
1578
01:25:04,720 --> 01:25:07,600
I said you're driving the bus.
Get it, dummy?
1579
01:25:08,360 --> 01:25:09,680
You dummy.
1580
01:25:10,080 --> 01:25:11,040
Dummy.
1581
01:25:11,120 --> 01:25:14,200
You did say that, Lionel.
That's right. That's so good.
1582
01:25:14,280 --> 01:25:16,760
- He did.
- That is so great. That is so great.
1583
01:25:16,840 --> 01:25:17,800
Want to hear it again?
1584
01:25:17,880 --> 01:25:19,080
Well, I mean, I don't know.
1585
01:25:19,120 --> 01:25:21,840
Actually, I thought
you really nailed it
that last time, so...
1586
01:25:21,920 --> 01:25:24,320
- Didn't he?
- Just one more time. Please?
1587
01:25:24,400 --> 01:25:25,360
Okay.
1588
01:25:25,440 --> 01:25:26,760
Okay, you're driving a bus.
1589
01:25:26,800 --> 01:25:29,280
- Five people get off. Six people get on.
- Really?
1590
01:25:29,320 --> 01:25:31,960
Seven hundred
and seventy-five thousand
get on.
1591
01:25:32,040 --> 01:25:33,640
Seven hundred
and thirty-five million
and one...
1592
01:25:33,720 --> 01:25:35,120
- Oh, no.
- Hey, guys.
1593
01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:38,760
You know, I forgot
a few things at the market.
1594
01:25:38,840 --> 01:25:39,880
I'm just gonna...
I'll be right back.
1595
01:25:39,960 --> 01:25:41,440
Dad, Dad, you got to
hear this punch line.
1596
01:25:41,480 --> 01:25:43,840
Yeah, yeah. You really,
really... You have to
stick around for this.
1597
01:25:43,880 --> 01:25:45,880
Think you got to, Johnny.
1598
01:25:46,720 --> 01:25:48,280
- LIONEL: Okay, now.
- What is it?
1599
01:25:48,360 --> 01:25:49,960
- You are driving a bus.
- Yeah.
1600
01:25:50,040 --> 01:25:52,320
A billon million catrillion get on.
1601
01:25:52,360 --> 01:25:54,080
I cannot believe
you are here.
You are truly insane.
1602
01:25:54,120 --> 01:25:55,640
Two hundred billion million get off.
1603
01:25:55,720 --> 01:25:56,960
Well, I... This is
a surprise to you?
1604
01:25:57,000 --> 01:25:58,240
Daphne, you're not listening.
1605
01:25:58,280 --> 01:26:01,320
Honey, oh, no, no.
I swear, of course,
I'm listening.
1606
01:26:01,400 --> 01:26:04,760
Okay. Dad and Daphne.
You're driving a bus.
1607
01:26:04,840 --> 01:26:08,600
Five hundred catrillion
cazillion get on.
1608
01:26:08,680 --> 01:26:10,840
- But zero...
- Lionel, look.
1609
01:26:10,920 --> 01:26:12,320
- A blimp.
- Where?
1610
01:26:12,360 --> 01:26:13,920
- Right there.
- I can't see it.
1611
01:26:14,000 --> 01:26:15,960
- Right there. Look harder.
- Where? Show me.
1612
01:26:16,040 --> 01:26:18,360
- I can't see it.
- Up, up. Look harder.
1613
01:26:21,480 --> 01:26:25,280
I've wanted to talk to you
for the past few days
and I haven't had the nerve.
1614
01:26:25,360 --> 01:26:27,440
That I find hard to believe.
1615
01:26:27,920 --> 01:26:30,040
Johnny, you have
too much pride.
1616
01:26:30,120 --> 01:26:31,520
I prefer to call it
common sense.
1617
01:26:31,600 --> 01:26:34,800
It's pride,
and it's a quality
you and I share.
1618
01:26:34,880 --> 01:26:37,840
It's an admirable one,
until it becomes a wall.
1619
01:26:38,160 --> 01:26:40,400
"Well, yes, I am alone,
1620
01:26:40,480 --> 01:26:43,480
"but at least
I have my righteous anger
to keep me company at night."
1621
01:26:43,560 --> 01:26:45,440
Come on, that's not a life,
and you know it.
1622
01:26:45,520 --> 01:26:47,920
And let's face it.
I mean, if it wasn't for me,
1623
01:26:48,000 --> 01:26:51,080
obviously Milly
never would have betrayed you
in the first place.
1624
01:26:51,160 --> 01:26:52,920
So what are you doing, Johnny?
What are you doing?
1625
01:26:53,000 --> 01:26:55,600
Why waste one more minute
of your life?
1626
01:26:56,840 --> 01:26:58,400
And I'm right.
1627
01:26:58,440 --> 01:27:00,680
I'm so right.
1628
01:27:01,320 --> 01:27:02,760
Damn it.
1629
01:27:02,800 --> 01:27:04,440
For once, she is.
1630
01:27:07,640 --> 01:27:09,800
Jeez, you guys,
no one's listening.
1631
01:27:09,880 --> 01:27:12,440
If Milly was here,
she would get my joke.
1632
01:27:12,520 --> 01:27:16,160
You're driving a bus.
Ten people get on.
Ten people get off.
1633
01:27:16,200 --> 01:27:19,400
Thirty thousand get on.
Thirty thousand get off.
A million get on...
1634
01:27:20,040 --> 01:27:21,760
See, that's the fun
of the tuna pasta toss,
1635
01:27:21,800 --> 01:27:23,880
'cause it's delicious
and it's easy,
1636
01:27:23,960 --> 01:27:25,480
because when
you're cooking for one,
1637
01:27:25,560 --> 01:27:28,040
it's really important
to look forward to
the end result. You know?
1638
01:27:28,120 --> 01:27:30,560
JOHNNY: What if you want to
make it for two?
1639
01:27:35,880 --> 01:27:40,880
It's a little bit
more complicated,
but I think it can be done.
1640
01:27:46,600 --> 01:27:48,080
I see some of you
have gone ahead
1641
01:27:48,160 --> 01:27:51,360
and already
added your carrots
and your pickled relish.
1642
01:27:51,400 --> 01:27:53,400
And remember
that some people like dill.
1643
01:27:53,480 --> 01:27:56,680
Even before I met you,
I had an instinct about you.
1644
01:27:57,120 --> 01:28:00,680
And once I saw
you were a woman
with profound static cling,
1645
01:28:00,720 --> 01:28:03,200
I wanted to be
that force around you.
1646
01:28:04,160 --> 01:28:07,240
Personally, I love dill.
I think it's not used enough
1647
01:28:07,280 --> 01:28:09,480
and very underrated,
sort of, like, mayonnaise,
1648
01:28:09,560 --> 01:28:12,680
and I also really love
olive oil for tuna.
1649
01:28:12,760 --> 01:28:16,200
I love that
when I breathe you in,
you smell of cake batter.
1650
01:28:18,920 --> 01:28:21,160
And I love that
you have this insane way
1651
01:28:21,240 --> 01:28:24,360
of talking in circles
that makes perfect sense.
1652
01:28:25,600 --> 01:28:26,600
I do?
1653
01:28:27,720 --> 01:28:30,760
'Cause sometimes
I feel like
nobody understands me but...
1654
01:28:30,840 --> 01:28:31,840
Me.
1655
01:28:32,600 --> 01:28:33,880
I get you.
1656
01:28:36,680 --> 01:28:41,160
That's wonderful.
But, you know,
my bladder is about to pop.
1657
01:28:41,240 --> 01:28:43,400
Can you hold it for a minute?
1658
01:28:47,240 --> 01:28:49,840
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, guys.
Where were we?
1659
01:28:50,920 --> 01:28:53,800
With the tuna pasta
and the tuna noodle doodles,
1660
01:28:53,880 --> 01:28:55,080
tuna sandwiches, tuna...
1661
01:28:55,160 --> 01:28:57,360
I love your eyes.
1662
01:28:59,080 --> 01:29:00,840
I even love
1663
01:29:02,960 --> 01:29:04,360
your mother.
1664
01:29:41,920 --> 01:29:44,280
MILLY: Well, we gotta get this show on the road.
MAGGIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1665
01:29:44,360 --> 01:29:46,320
- Where is she?
- Well, it should have started 20 minutes ago.
1666
01:29:46,400 --> 01:29:48,360
- That's not like her.
- I mean, the ceremony has to start soon.
1667
01:29:48,440 --> 01:29:49,760
I don't know
where she is, though.
1668
01:29:50,040 --> 01:29:51,400
(EXCLAIMING)
1669
01:29:51,480 --> 01:29:52,480
(MOANING)
1670
01:29:52,520 --> 01:29:53,480
Oh, my God.
1671
01:29:53,560 --> 01:29:55,480
I'm worried.
I hope she's okay.
1672
01:29:55,560 --> 01:29:57,280
- Just call her.
- All right. I'm calling.
1673
01:29:57,320 --> 01:29:59,160
It's her own wedding.
1674
01:30:00,440 --> 01:30:02,280
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
Oh, no.
1675
01:30:02,880 --> 01:30:03,840
No.
1676
01:30:05,720 --> 01:30:07,000
Hi, honey.
1677
01:30:07,240 --> 01:30:09,600
Hi, Mom. Where are you?
1678
01:30:10,800 --> 01:30:13,880
Honey, I just have to
talk to you a little
bit later, okay? Mil...
1679
01:30:13,960 --> 01:30:17,600
Oh, my God. I kind of think
she's having sex
with Joe right now.
1680
01:30:17,640 --> 01:30:18,720
- Great.
- Awesome.
1681
01:30:18,800 --> 01:30:21,600
Would she like us to explain
that to all the guests,
or just the preacher?
1682
01:30:21,640 --> 01:30:23,080
She is a woman after
my own heart.
1683
01:30:23,160 --> 01:30:25,800
All right, Mom?
We are gonna give you
five more minutes.
1684
01:30:25,840 --> 01:30:27,320
Ten. Ten.
1685
01:30:27,400 --> 01:30:28,680
Mom. Come on.
1686
01:30:28,720 --> 01:30:30,680
Open up
the champagne, sweetie.
What's the rush?
1687
01:30:30,760 --> 01:30:32,600
Because I said so.
1688
01:30:32,680 --> 01:30:34,320
Mom, don't hang up
the phone on me.
1689
01:30:37,280 --> 01:30:39,200
You got soul
1690
01:30:39,280 --> 01:30:41,360
Everybody knows
1691
01:30:41,440 --> 01:30:45,280
That it's all right,
it's all right
1692
01:30:46,720 --> 01:30:50,480
When you wake up
early in the morning
1693
01:30:50,560 --> 01:30:54,080
Feeling sad,
like so many of us do
1694
01:30:55,040 --> 01:30:59,280
Hum a little soul
Make life your goal
1695
01:30:59,360 --> 01:31:04,400
Surely something's
got to come to you
And say it's all right
1696
01:31:04,480 --> 01:31:05,920
It's all right
1697
01:31:06,520 --> 01:31:10,680
- "It's all right"
- "It's all right"
1698
01:31:10,760 --> 01:31:12,720
ALL: It's all right
1699
01:31:12,800 --> 01:31:14,440
Have a good time
1700
01:31:14,520 --> 01:31:18,360
'Cause it's all right
It's all right
1701
01:31:19,960 --> 01:31:22,640
- Are we married or what?
- MAN: All right.
1702
01:31:22,760 --> 01:31:24,200
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1703
01:31:31,240 --> 01:31:32,520
(SCREAMS)