1 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,600 And he's down. That's it! 2 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:11,400 That's it. Cleon "Slammin"' Salmon 3 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:14,700 is still the Heavyweight Champion of the World. 4 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,300 What a deadly punch. It's all over. 5 00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,500 Hi. Two? 6 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,500 Hey, buddy. 7 00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:21,300 Do me a favor. My girlfriend don't like her tuna. 8 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,600 - I'm sorry. - It's fine. 9 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,000 What do you mean? You just said it was undercooked. 10 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:27,700 - Tell the guy. - It's fine, Anthony. The guy is busy. 11 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,500 Stacy, he's a monkey wrench. It's his job. Look. 12 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,800 Let me get that for you. 13 00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:35,900 See? Just tell him what you want and he'll do it. 14 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,100 - I'm not even that hungry. -You know what? 15 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,200 Look, this is a little raw. Just put a little fire on it, all right, buddy? 16 00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:44,500 Sir, tuna is a very delicate fish. 17 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:45,800 You think you're better than me? 18 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,000 No, I don't think I'm better than you, sir. 19 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,700 Well, you talk to me like I never ate a piece of fucking fish before. 20 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,500 I'm sure you've had some fish before, sir. 21 00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:55,600 You know what? Tell the chef to cook it nice. 22 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,700 And here, we need more butter. 23 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,000 Okay. I will be right back. 24 00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:03,000 -Yeah, you will. - Thank you. 25 00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,600 Now we got no butter. 26 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,300 Dave, can I get a re-fire? 27 00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:11,900 What did you just say to me? 28 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,500 The guy on table 5 wants it cooked a little bit more. 29 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,400 No, they asked for it medium rare. It's perfect. 30 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,700 If he wants it cooked more tell him to go shove it up his ass. 31 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,500 You want me to tell that guy to cook this in his ass? 32 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,100 Yeah, within the inside of his anus. 33 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,300 - Come on, Dave. - Fine. 34 00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,300 Dave, come on. 35 00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:34,900 Fuck him if he doesn't know what medium rare is. 36 00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:36,200 Are you kidding me? 37 00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:39,700 When I said cook it nice, I didn't mean bring it back looking like a fucking turd. 38 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:42,200 Sir, I actually do not cook the food. I am just a waiter. 39 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,800 A smart guy. 40 00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:45,300 You want to get smart with me, smart guy? 41 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,800 Great. What are you gonna do, kick his ass? 42 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,100 Yeah, maybe I am. You want me to? 43 00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:51,000 Sure, go ahead. 44 00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,900 You always got to beat the shit out of the loser. 45 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,300 Like the waiter at the Macaroni Grill, the waiter at the Olive Garden, 46 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,800 the waiter at Buca di Beppo. 47 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,500 Sir, here at the Slammin' Salmon there are no problems, just solutions. 48 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,200 You know what? Here, you puck ass bitch. Here. 49 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,400 You like that? How about some of that? 50 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:06,200 Tell me what that tastes like. And you better say like shit. 51 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,100 Like shit. 52 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,800 Good, now get the fuck out of here and bring us some swordfish instead. 53 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,300 I'll be right back. 54 00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:14,000 And you better not spit that out. 55 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,700 Okay, I will not. 56 00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:17,200 Thank you. 57 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,300 Up yours, you shit bird. 58 00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:25,900 You've got to be fucking fucking me. 59 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,500 Were you just eating that piece of fish on the floor? 60 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,100 You have no idea. This guy made me eat it. 61 00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:32,300 Really? 62 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,700 A customer shoved the food in your mouth and told you you had to eat it? 63 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,900 Yeah. He actually told me I couldn't spit it out too. 64 00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:40,300 Man, that's crazy. What? 65 00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:42,800 And I'm the Prime Minister of Narnia. 66 00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:45,600 You're paying for that piece of fish. 67 00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,100 It was a send back. 68 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,700 Then you should have put it in the send back area. 69 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,900 -You're paying for it. -You know what? 70 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:54,600 Fuck this, Carl. I quit. 71 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,300 Fine, but I'm not the one you have to tell. 72 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,800 You've got to tell the Champ. 73 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,700 And I know you don't have the guts to do it. 74 00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:09,800 All right then, I'll just leave. Screw the Champ. 75 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,600 You really think you can walk out of here without telling the Champ? 76 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,400 You remember Marty Millman? 77 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:18,000 Marty Millman is breathing through a hole in his throat right now. 78 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:21,400 Rich, he will find you and ass fuck you 79 00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:23,000 in the face or in the mouth. 80 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:25,600 Fine. Fine, I'll tell him to his face. 81 00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:27,400 - Okay, fine. - I'll tell him myself. 82 00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,100 - Okay, go for it. - I'm gonna go right now. 83 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,800 - Okay, good luck. - I'm not afraid of him. 84 00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:32,400 - Okay, bye-bye. - I'll see you soon. 85 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,500 - We'll be here. - Carl. 86 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,100 In his face, right? 87 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,300 Shit. Fuck it. Fuck this. 88 00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:16,300 Hey, Carl. Rich Parente is not a quitter. 89 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,800 Guess we ain't getting our swordfish. 90 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:57,600 Dude, last night was sick. 91 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,800 I was rolling with my boys down at Club Merengue 92 00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,900 and they called last call. 93 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,200 So I reminded them it's now daylight savings 94 00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:07,400 and we got an extra hour. 95 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:11,100 And in that hour I had 5 Smirnoff Ices... 96 00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:15,300 and I walked out of there with a Bangladeshi hooker. 97 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:19,200 I banged her deshi all night long. 98 00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:23,100 Where'd you go pimping last night, playboy? 99 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,900 I too had a wild night last night. 100 00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:28,500 I made sweet hot love to an orangutan. 101 00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:30,500 Really? A bachelor party? 102 00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:32,400 - Yeah. - What'd it smell like? 103 00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,800 - Bananas mostly. - Really? 104 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,300 Guy, I'm pulling your leg. 105 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:40,500 I did not fuck an orangutan last night. 106 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,300 I have student teacher evaluations coming up. 107 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:44,100 Keep going, playboy. I'm listening. 108 00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:46,300 - There's one kid who-- - Hey. 109 00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:51,700 So, did you hear who's coming back tonight? 110 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:55,300 Yeah, Connor. God, I can't believe it. 111 00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:57,800 Can you imagine being the star of a TV show 112 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,100 and then having to come back and wait tables? 113 00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:01,800 I know. It's humiliating. 114 00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:05,600 Hey, do you think you guys will get it on again? 115 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,700 Yeah right. He should be so lucky. 116 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,500 You don't get 2 bites of the apple, 117 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,400 especially when it's Golden Delicious. 118 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,500 Yeah. 119 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,800 - Chow down. -Yes! 120 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,000 I'm starving. 121 00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:22,300 What you pigs are eating is the blackened cod. 122 00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:26,100 It comes with rosemary mashed potatoes and tempura mushrooms. 123 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,600 It's blackened because-- hey! 124 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:31,400 It's blackened because I bought 60 pieces last Tuesday and it's gone bad. 125 00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:35,100 I'll give a free dessert to whoever sells the most of this shit. 126 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,800 -You bitch. - Guys. 127 00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:39,400 I hate to be a ball buster, but somebody was toking marijuana 128 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:42,300 in the coat checkroom last night and that is a big no no never. 129 00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:44,400 Rich, you put me on for a double tomorrow. 130 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:45,900 You said you needed money for ballet school. 131 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,800 I do, but I also told you 132 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,900 that I'd get shin splints if I work a double. 133 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,000 - You're right. I'm sorry. - That's right. 134 00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:54,000 Shin splints, okay, you're right. I will change that right away. 135 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,400 Who the hell is that? 136 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,700 That's our new busboy. 137 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,600 Donnie, could you come over here, please? 138 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:02,000 Donnie is Dave's twin brother. 139 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,300 Straighten your fucking bow tie. 140 00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:08,000 No, you went too far. Back. 141 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,100 I'll warn you guys now, he's a complete retard. 142 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,400 - I told you not to call me that. -You what? 143 00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:15,800 - I said you're the retard. -You're the retard! 144 00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,400 -You're the retard. -You're the retard. 145 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,000 -You're the re-- - Shut up! 146 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,300 - Weird. - Donnie Kanogi, hi. 147 00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:25,900 -You a douchebag like your brother? - No, I-- 148 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,500 - Donnie Kanogi. - Tara. 149 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,600 Don't worry about it. My sister's a dick too. I get it. 150 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,900 Ladies and gentlemen, straight from TV land, 151 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:36,800 our old friend Connor Rhodes! 152 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:38,400 What's up? What's up? 153 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,200 I missed each and every one of you. 154 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,400 Look at him. Look at this guy. 155 00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:44,300 - Hey. - There you go. 156 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:47,100 We watched you every single Sunday for 2 weeks. 157 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,800 Hot stuff. 158 00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:49,800 - Dude! 159 00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:53,000 You did get a nose job. 160 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,900 No, no, my hair is longer and it makes my face look tiny. 161 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,200 We noticed it looked smaller on TV 162 00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:00,100 but we thought it was makeup. 163 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:04,600 It's strange, I know, but the camera actually takes 2 lbs off your nose. 164 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,300 I think you took 2 lbs off your nose. 165 00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:09,800 Nice one, Dick P. But seriously, I did not get a nose job. 166 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,500 Hey, true to form, you're an hour late. 167 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,900 - Nuh. Daylight savings. - Then you should be an hour early. 168 00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:16,500 Pretty good. 169 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,500 All right, everybody, hit the floor. Let's have a big night tonight. 170 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,100 Let's see some pep in that step. 171 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,400 - Let's do it. - I'm Donnie. 172 00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:25,100 - Welcome back. - Thank you. Nice to see you. 173 00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:26,800 - Good to see you. -You look good. 174 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,800 -You do too. - How are you doing? 175 00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:33,500 Frosty. 176 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,300 So are you gonna be all right with this? 177 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,500 Yeah yeah. Well, you know, I spent a shitload of cash I didn't have. 178 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,800 So... got to eat. 179 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,600 Go to work. 180 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,800 - Okay. Working? -Yeah. 181 00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:59,500 So what, you like quit to be on a TV show? 182 00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:02,700 Yeah yeah, I got a lead role on "CFI Hotlanta." 183 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:05,000 - No way. -Yeah. 184 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:07,700 Connor walked out of here in a blaze of glory. 185 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,700 Yeah! Yeah! 186 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,100 I'm famous! 187 00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,400 I'm famous! 188 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,900 Cole slaw never tasted so good. 189 00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:33,700 Fucking big nose. 190 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,300 Suck it. Eat a dick. Eat a dick. 191 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,400 Suck it. Lick it. Stick it. 192 00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:40,000 Double dick it. 193 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,600 And fuck you! 194 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,000 - Cole slaw! -Yeah. 195 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,900 They killed me off after 2 episodes. 196 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,700 - Aw, how come? - Because every time he came on TV 197 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,700 America threw up in their mouths just a little bit. 198 00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:57,800 Yes. 199 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,800 Actually, it's because the actress who plays the police commissioner 200 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:04,700 and I took a little trip to Ejacuidor together. 201 00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:07,700 Wait. Isn't that Morgan Fairchild? 202 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,800 It is Morgan Fairchild. 203 00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:10,900 - What? - All right. 204 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,000 - Dude! - She's hot! 205 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,700 But the creator of the show, this guy named Dick Lobo, 206 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,500 got jealous and suddenly Detective Shep Winford 207 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:21,200 would up dead in a petting zoo with the killer's sperm in his shoes. 208 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,700 Wait, his sperm was in your shoe? 209 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,900 Whatever, dude. Tell us about Morgan Fairchild. 210 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,100 Was she wet? Was she dry? Did she laugh? Did she cry? 211 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,200 All right, day one of shooting, 212 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:33,900 Morgan Fairchild is giving me the stink eye something fierce. 213 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:38,400 At the end of the day she says, "I want to see you in my trailer." 214 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,100 So I knock on the door, open it up and go in 215 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:45,000 and Morgan Fairchild is wearing the tiniest piece of lingerie. 216 00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:48,200 I mean, it's not even lingerie. It's like Silly String. 217 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,500 - What color? - See-through. 218 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,700 - See-through? - Like a spider web. 219 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,100 That's so hot. 220 00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:56,200 She says, "I've got a little welcome present for you." 221 00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:59,300 Takes out a gift wrapped box, opens it, 222 00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:03,100 reaches in and pulls out, and I shit you not, 223 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,500 the biggest, blackest-- 224 00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:08,800 - Welcome to Slammin' Salmon. - Thank you. 225 00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:10,300 - Just one? - Just one. 226 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,500 - No, no, no. - Not my section. Not my section. 227 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,300 - He's definitely coming back. - No he's not. 228 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,400 - No, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no. 229 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:18,800 Damn it! 230 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,300 You do not seat 1 person at a 4 top. 231 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,600 Sorry, Guy. 232 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,500 Can you please wait until I get back to finish that story? 233 00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:27,900 - I can't wait. - No dice, Jim Rice. 234 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,300 - Come on. - They've spoken, Guy. 235 00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:31,800 God! 236 00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:34,200 Shit. 237 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,200 All right, she reaches in and pulls out, and I shit you not... 238 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,800 Hey, sport. How are you? 239 00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:42,500 Welcome to the Slammin' Salmon. I'm Guy. 240 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,900 Well, hello, Guy. I'm Horace, and thank you. 241 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:46,800 No! 242 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,100 Sounds like someone told a great story. 243 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,200 Yes it does. 244 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,800 Connor, I just sat you. Welcome back. 245 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:06,600 It's good we didn't get a booth. 246 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:09,300 Don't forget your Slammin' Salmon smile. 247 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,700 Is that a real thing? 248 00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:12,600 - Do I need to know that? - Yeah. 249 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,500 Honey, I'm not hungry. Can we just split a couple things? 250 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:19,000 Hi, welcome to the Slammin' Salmon. 251 00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:22,000 - Okay. - My God, I know you. 252 00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:24,700 - Really? - Yeah, I definitely know you. 253 00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:27,300 - Where do I know you from? - Maybe he's in your spinning class. 254 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:30,200 - He looks like a spinner. - Honey, he's not a spinner. 255 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,500 God, it's driving me crazy. 256 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,300 I know I've seen you somewhere before. 257 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,800 Is it from TV do you think? 258 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,500 Yes, I've got it. 259 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,800 Yeah, you waited on me last time I was here. 260 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,500 Duh. 261 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:49,300 Well, I left for a while to be one of the leads on "CFI Hotlanta." 262 00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:54,600 No way. I'm the black woman from "Law & Order," so... 263 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,300 -You're so funny. - Thanks. 264 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,900 - I'll have a Merlot. - Dry Sack, rocks. 265 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,600 Ladies and gentlemen, 266 00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,900 from Hell's Kitchen, New York, 267 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,700 the Doctor of Destruction, 268 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,600 the Captain of Crunch, 269 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,800 the Heavyweight Champion of the World, 270 00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:21,800 Slammin' Cleon Salmon. 271 00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:29,400 Thank you. I hope you find the seafood to be succulent. 272 00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,800 And if you need anything, anything at all, 273 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:34,200 remember-- ding-- ring the bell. 274 00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:37,600 And come back soon, or else I'll ring your bell. 275 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,800 Look at that. You've been working out. 276 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,800 Let's see. Come here. Yeah. Okay. 277 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,800 Nuts, I need a drink. 278 00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:50,000 $200 for a babysitter? I mean, come on, that's a lot of money. 279 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,800 No, you're totally worth it. 280 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,700 I know how much you love Norah Jones. 281 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,200 I love her too. I bought the tickets. Front row seats. 282 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,100 "Don't Know Why"? 283 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,200 Round 1. 284 00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:05,700 My God. I've got to go. I love you. 285 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,300 Well, if it isn't the King of Siam. 286 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,200 - Make yourself at home. - Okay. Hey, Champ. 287 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,300 Didn't mean to sit in your chair. Sorry about that. 288 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,700 I'm just being humorous. 289 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,900 But I do want to talk about something serious. 290 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:22,300 Are you familiar with Japanese albino hunting? 291 00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:24,900 Can't say that I am, no. 292 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,300 My God, it is all the rage in Japan right now. 293 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,500 What they do is they set a bunch of Japanese albinos 294 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,300 loose in the forest and you hunt them. 295 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,900 And you shoot them? 296 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,800 No, no, it's just for sport. Strictly catch and release. 297 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,500 Who is it?! 298 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,500 Round 1. 299 00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,200 Your drink, Champ. 300 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,400 Crazy straw. 301 00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,300 That's good. 302 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:49,100 So my first time hunting these albinos 303 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:51,100 an albino ran right past me. 304 00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:54,000 I got so nervous I smacked him in the head 305 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,800 and almost depacitated him. 306 00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,800 Whatever, motherfucker! 307 00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:04,500 Round 1. 308 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,800 Now where was I? 309 00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:08,700 You were talking about Japanese albino hunting. 310 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,100 Yeah. So I bet the head of the Yakuza 311 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,600 20 grand that I could catch more albinos than him. 312 00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:16,000 I mean, look at me, come on. I'm an athlete. 313 00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:18,000 Well, you know what? I got my ass kicked. 314 00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:20,600 And now I've got to pay him 20 grand by tomorrow. 315 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,000 Sounds like someone has to go to the ATM machine. 316 00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:24,900 Yeah, you would think that. 317 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,600 But I'm a little cash-poor right now. 318 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:31,100 I bought some land on the moon next to John Travolta. 319 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,400 Smart. Real estate is a very safe investment. 320 00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:34,700 So here's what you've got to do for me. 321 00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:36,700 I need you to make 20 grand tonight 322 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,100 or else these guys are gonna come and take the restaurant. 323 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,800 Champ, the most the restaurant 324 00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,600 has ever made in one night is 15 grand. 325 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,100 I don't care. 326 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,400 I wish you would have told me. I would have had more waiters on tonight. 327 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,500 I wish Nino Gutierrez would have told me 328 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,600 he was gonna sock me with a hard right in the Fracas in Caracas. 329 00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:56,000 And now look at him. 330 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:01,000 He's dead. 331 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,300 I can see that. 332 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,600 So figure it out. 333 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:09,500 If you don't get me 20 grand by tonight I'm gonna lose the restaurant. 334 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,200 If I lose the restaurant I'm gonna be mad. 335 00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:14,800 And if I'm mad I'm gonna beat the shit out of you 336 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,300 and break all your arms. 337 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,400 Champ, I'm gonna need those arms. 338 00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,000 I got 3 kids. 339 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,800 All the more reason to keep it open. Okey-dokey? 340 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:23,800 Okey-dokey. 341 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,300 I'm gonna skedaddle. 342 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,500 I'll be back to check on you later. 343 00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,500 Round 1. 344 00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:34,800 Oh, boy. 345 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,800 Everybody listen up, please. 346 00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:38,900 Hello, everyone listen to me, please. 347 00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,900 Champ wants a big night tonight. 348 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:44,000 So he is offering a prize to the top selling waiter. 349 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,600 - Is it cash? - It's not cash, but it's something better. 350 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,600 What, a blowjob from your mother? 351 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,800 No, no, it's not a blowjob from my mother, okay? 352 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,200 The prize for the top selling waiter, 353 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:58,300 2 front row seats to the Norah Jones concert this week. 354 00:17:58,100 --> 00:17:59,800 My God! I love Norah Jones. 355 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:01,700 My God. 356 00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,900 - Right? Right? - Sweet, I'm in. 357 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,500 Are you serious? You like Norah Jones? 358 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,100 No, she's a slag. 359 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,900 But think of all the tang that's gonna be at that show. 360 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,800 I'll be up to my elbows in tang. Like a fucking astronaut. 361 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:14,300 With a space helmet on. 362 00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:16,400 You're a weird fucking dude. You know that? 363 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,300 I am so gonna win this. Do tips count? 364 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,100 Tips count. Champ loves great service, right? 365 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,700 Okay, give me your tips as you get them and I'll post it up on the board, okay? 366 00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:26,200 - All right. - Now everyone, 367 00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:28,700 get out there and move some fish. 368 00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:31,000 I've never lost at anything in my life. 369 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,600 Look at this good-looking group of men. 370 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,500 So are you boys hungry? 371 00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:44,000 Starving. 372 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,900 Well you know what they say about a man with a big appetite. 373 00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,800 It's all true. 374 00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:52,000 Good. 'Cause you know what? 375 00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:54,300 You're gonna have the 4-lb lobster tonight. 376 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,900 - Okay. - Okay? And so are you. And you. 377 00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:59,500 I just have to tell you, I am a huge fan. 378 00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,700 "Dogs of the Sahara" is a perfect movie. 379 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:05,300 And your acting in it is sick. Like hospital sick. 380 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,900 Thanks, man. I appreciate it. 381 00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:11,600 Seriously, I think you discovered, like, a new emotion in that movie. 382 00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:14,600 Really? I didn't know. Thanks again. 383 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,200 Well, what kind of emotion? 384 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,900 Well, you know, it's like he's like brave 385 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,300 but naive. 386 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,200 You know? Like braive. 387 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,400 Okay. 388 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,000 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 389 00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:28,500 - Sorry, I never do this. - What's your name, pal? 390 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,700 - I'm Connor. - Connor, I'm Marlon. 391 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,000 And this is my girlfriend Samara Dubois. 392 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,200 I read "US Weekly." I know who this is. 393 00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:37,800 The interior designer who stole your heart. 394 00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:39,100 That's right. 395 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,400 I hired her to decorate my chill chalet. 396 00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:44,600 She said, "First things first. You should just call it a 'chilet."' 397 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,300 I fell in love with her right then and there. 398 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,900 I just put the 2 words together. 399 00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:50,900 Chilet. I love that. 400 00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:55,000 New guy. Sorry. 401 00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:58,100 - So what's this? - Little tradition here at the Salmon. 402 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,400 Anytime a busboy breaks something he does a shot of Blue Curacao. 403 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,600 Is it cool to drink on the job? 404 00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:06,400 Do you need to ask your big brother for permission? 405 00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:09,000 Do you want to try shaving with this? Okay, yeah, let's see. 406 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,300 I'm older by 8 hours. 407 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,100 Hi-yaa! 408 00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:15,200 And don't worry. No one will ever know. 409 00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:16,800 Cool. 410 00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:19,200 - Hey, Conman. - Mr. Spencer. 411 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:22,000 I was wondering if you could help me out. 412 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,400 My God, this is really sudden. 413 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,400 I'm proposing to Samara tonight. 414 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,000 Somebody finally put a saddle on you, bronco? 415 00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,200 Um, yeah. When we order dessert, 416 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,300 could you put the ring in it so she can find it? 417 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,800 Yeah yeah yeah. Let's get her drunk so she says yes. 418 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,900 That's a custom-made ring, yeah? 419 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,000 It's safe with me. You have my word. 420 00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:48,300 Cool. 421 00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:53,300 - Send back - Out of the way. It's a dessert. 422 00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:55,400 - Somebody sent back a dessert. - My God. 423 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,300 When somebody sends back a dessert you've got to move fast. 424 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,300 They're like wild jackals at their mother's teat. 425 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,600 I've got to get lemons. Tara, will you watch my section? 426 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,400 - Yup. - This is good! 427 00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,700 What's up, Mamma Mia? 428 00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:18,200 The old follow me down to the walk-in fridge game? 429 00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:23,900 Frankly, I didn't expect to see you here at the Salmon again. 430 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:27,000 Yeah, well, I figure I'm here 3 or 4 months tops. 431 00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:28,900 And then I'm moving to California to do some modeling. 432 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,900 Well, don't you have to be like tall, 433 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,000 muscular and really hot to model? 434 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,500 No, no, not anymore. You'd be amazed what they can do with CGI these days. 435 00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,100 Right. 436 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,100 I like the new nose, by the way. 437 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,800 It's so funny that you all think that. 438 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,900 'Cause it's the same nose it always was. 439 00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:48,300 Really? 440 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,500 - Want to take a closer look? - I just might. 441 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,400 -You fucking love it. -Yeah. 442 00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,300 My God! Yes! 443 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,300 - So fucking hot. -Yeah. 444 00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:19,800 You know what? I'm not your tickle friend anymore. 445 00:22:19,700 --> 00:22:21,800 Well, you are saying no 446 00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:24,000 but a couple of your friends are saying yes. 447 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,200 It's cold in here, asshole. 448 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,800 Why do they call you Nuts? 449 00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:38,800 Because I'm crazy. 450 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,100 You don't look crazy. 451 00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:42,300 I'm insane. 452 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,800 You should see me without my meds. 453 00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:47,100 At my last job, I didn't take my meds one day, 454 00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:50,200 hour later I was walking around naked with peanut butter in my hair 455 00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:52,500 telling people my name was Zongo. 456 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:56,200 I delivered an old lady a cup of hot water with my balls in it. 457 00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:58,100 Yeah, talk about your Red Zinger. 458 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,300 Yeah, but I don't remember any of it. 459 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,200 My balls were red though. 460 00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:08,000 - Are you serious? - Totally. 461 00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:10,000 No, I'm joking. 462 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,800 But it is true. 463 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:19,500 Sir. 464 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,500 Are you ready to order your entree? 465 00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:24,900 I haven't even looked at the menu. 466 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,300 That's my party people. 467 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:28,600 Yeah! 468 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,500 Hey, all right. 469 00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:35,300 You've been here for an hour, sir. Surely you must be hungry. 470 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000 I am. I'll take a look. 471 00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:41,400 In the meantime, I'll have a drink. 472 00:23:41,300 --> 00:23:44,500 Tell me, Guy, what goes well with Tolstoy? 473 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,300 Dom Perignon, Cristal, perhaps a Chateau Margaux, 474 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,400 or even a 1945 Rothschild. 475 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,400 Well, I'll take all 4. 476 00:23:51,300 --> 00:23:53,500 - Really? - No. 477 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,900 I'll just have a cup of hot water 478 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,600 with a wedge of lemon. 479 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,600 Living on the edge. 480 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,100 - No, here. - Hold on, hold on. 481 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,500 Come on. 482 00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:14,800 Jesus. 483 00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:16,500 Nuts, you fucker. 484 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,200 Dick P, a little help? 485 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,900 - What are you guys doing? - Dicking around, bro. 486 00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:23,300 -Yahtzee! - What are you doing with the booze? 487 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,600 Donnie, leave us. Grab me an olive from the bar, please. 488 00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:33,100 Dave Kanogi's brother. I'm hazing the shit out of him, dude. 489 00:24:33,100 --> 00:24:35,200 Maybe you should be selling the shit out of the food, dude. 490 00:24:35,100 --> 00:24:36,400 - Tara. -Yes? 491 00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:38,100 You love Norah Jones. I mean, "Come Away With Me." 492 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,800 You love that song. I've heard you humming it. 493 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,600 Yes, I also hum the Macarena. 494 00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:43,500 It doesn't mean I want to go to the Macarena concert. 495 00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:46,100 - Snap. - Well, Norah Jones is different. 496 00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:48,400 I mean, she's cool and folksy and jazzy. Come on. 497 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:52,100 Rich, look, I'm in medical school, okay? I don't have time to go to a concert. 498 00:24:51,900 --> 00:24:55,800 - What about you? - I'm not sure who Norma Jones is. 499 00:24:55,700 --> 00:24:57,400 - Is she the puppeteer? - No. 500 00:24:57,300 --> 00:25:00,800 Here's the thing. Norah Jones is for chicks and weepy dorks like you. 501 00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:03,500 If I'm gonna make the Champ richer, I want a real prize. 502 00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:05,200 Till then, you tell him to go fuck a cow. 503 00:25:05,100 --> 00:25:07,500 - What's up? - Snap! 504 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,400 Hey, retards, you want to answer the phone? 505 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,700 I'll do it. I'm only the manager. 506 00:25:20,900 --> 00:25:23,900 Good evening. Persuasions Spa and Casino Resort. 507 00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:27,000 I'm Stanley Bellin. How may I persuade you? 508 00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:30,000 Hey, Stanley. It's Rich Parente calling on behalf of Cleon Salmon. 509 00:25:29,900 --> 00:25:33,100 Yeah, the Champ would like to book his regular suite. 510 00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:36,100 I'm afraid the suite 511 00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:38,300 is not available for Mr. Salmon. 512 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,600 What do you mean? Why not? 513 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,600 'Cause last time Mr. Salmon's pet kangaroo 514 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,500 defecated in our kitchen. 515 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,200 Well, that kangaroo is no longer with us. 516 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,000 The Champ actually killed him during a sparring session. 517 00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:52,700 I'm so sorry to hear that. 518 00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:56,100 Unfortunately I will have to politely say no. 519 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,700 Is that Stanley? 520 00:25:57,700 --> 00:26:00,500 - Let me talk to him. - Don't tell him it's me. Just-- 521 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:01,900 Yes, Champ. It's Stanley Bellin. 522 00:26:01,900 --> 00:26:03,200 Fuck. 523 00:26:03,100 --> 00:26:05,400 Tell him I said I want the Emperor Suite 524 00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:07,600 or I'm gonna shove his ass up his ass. 525 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,700 Of course Mr. Salmon can stay in the Emperor Suite. 526 00:26:11,500 --> 00:26:13,300 I was merely joking. 527 00:26:13,300 --> 00:26:16,300 Tell him to make the reservation under King Kamehameha. 528 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,700 All right, Kamehameha. 529 00:26:18,700 --> 00:26:20,800 How many Ms? 530 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,000 And it better be free or I'm gonna knock Stanley into Bolivian. 531 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,100 Yeah, he said that he was hoping it would be free 532 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,600 or he was gonna knock you into Bolivian. 533 00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:30,300 But I think he means oblivion. 534 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,200 Whatever, motherfucker! 535 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,800 It'll be free. It'll be free. 536 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,100 Guys, listen up. New deal, okay? 537 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,900 Champ is very serious about selling big tonight. 538 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,900 So there's a new prize. 539 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,900 A 4-day, 3-night stay 540 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:46,300 at the Persuasions Spa and Casino Resort Hotel in Key Largo. 541 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,200 - That sounds awesome. - Really? 542 00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:49,500 Wait a minute, is that the gay key? 543 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,100 It's the straight key, Guy. 544 00:26:51,100 --> 00:26:53,100 What if he wanted the gay key? 545 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,400 Why would I want the gay key? 546 00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:57,500 - I thought you said you... - All right, listen listen listen. 547 00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:59,000 It's a great prize. Come on. 548 00:26:58,900 --> 00:27:01,100 Persuasions Spa and Casino Resort Hotel. 549 00:27:01,100 --> 00:27:02,500 - That's awesome. - Hell yeah, Dick P. 550 00:27:02,500 --> 00:27:04,500 Here are the current standings, okay? 551 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,800 Nuts, Tara, let's pick it up a notch, okay? 552 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,100 Enthusiasm! 553 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,700 My suggestion to you guys, sell the cod. 554 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,500 One of the most expensive items on the menu. 555 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,500 $38.95, okay? 556 00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:16,700 Let's get out there and turn 'em and burn 'em. 557 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:17,800 All right? 558 00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:21,300 Come on, sell some cod. 559 00:27:21,300 --> 00:27:23,900 Well, you have got to try the cod. 560 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,100 Is it fishy? I don't really like fishy fish. 561 00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:28,500 No, no, no. The cod is the least fishy of the fishes. 562 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:32,100 It's so unfishy it's not even classified as a fish. 563 00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:33,300 I'll take one. 564 00:27:34,900 --> 00:27:37,900 Do yourself a favor, order the cod. 565 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,700 Is it a fishy fish? I like my fish fishy. 566 00:27:41,500 --> 00:27:43,200 Cod is definitely the fishiest fish there is. 567 00:27:43,100 --> 00:27:45,700 And a fishy fish is a healthy fish. 568 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,100 Did you know that cod is a flying fish? 569 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,900 It's flying off the shelf tonight. 570 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,200 Is it flakey? I like flakey. 571 00:27:53,100 --> 00:27:55,200 Very flakey. The Eskimo name for cod 572 00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:57,700 is actually ponacana which means flake fish. 573 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,700 It's a rare Moroccan midget cod. 574 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,800 It's almost impossible to catch so the portions are tiny. 575 00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:07,400 You might want to get 2 per person. 576 00:28:07,300 --> 00:28:09,900 Moroccan midget cod? I've heard of that. 577 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,400 It's really good. 578 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,900 I usually don't swear at my tables, but you people look really cool. 579 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,900 So it's fucking delicious. 580 00:28:15,900 --> 00:28:17,800 We'll get fucking 2 each. 581 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:19,200 Good order. 582 00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:22,100 Hey! 583 00:28:23,900 --> 00:28:27,800 - I've got to ask you something. - Okay. 584 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,200 Were you on "CFI Hotlanta"? 585 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,000 Yeah, I was. 586 00:28:31,900 --> 00:28:33,200 I knew it. 587 00:28:33,300 --> 00:28:35,400 I said you were on "The Bachelorette," dude. 588 00:28:35,300 --> 00:28:37,400 Well, they're both good shows, I suppose. 589 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:38,800 I love both of those shows. 590 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,900 Hey, Conman, when you're ready, 591 00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:42,900 I think we're ready for desert. 592 00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:46,200 We'll have a brownie, one scoop of vanilla ice cream 593 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,500 and 2 spoons. 594 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,900 Carbs. 595 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,000 Yeah, I will get that right out to you. 596 00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:57,100 You know, oysters are an aphrodisiac. 597 00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,900 More oysters, more aphrodisia. 598 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,500 That is if you guys think you're gonna get lucky tonight. 599 00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:07,200 I probably will. 600 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,400 What's up, boys? Did you dirty ho-daddies 601 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,700 wish this perfect angel a happy birthday yet? 602 00:29:13,300 --> 00:29:15,300 It's your birthday? 603 00:29:15,300 --> 00:29:17,000 Yeah. 604 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,700 Where's your birthday suit? 605 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,000 Stop. 606 00:29:21,900 --> 00:29:25,500 -You're so bad. - I can be worse. 607 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:31,700 Donnie, have you ever noticed that redheaded people 608 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,100 breathe through their mouths? 609 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,800 Like orangutans? 610 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,100 Yeah, exactly like orangutans. 611 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,800 Coincidence? 612 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:40,300 Happy birthday? 613 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,100 Donnie, leave us. 614 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,700 Bring me a cocktail onion from the bar, please. 615 00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:47,800 What can I say? I thought I'd help you get a big tip. 616 00:29:47,700 --> 00:29:49,300 Just like the old days. 617 00:29:49,300 --> 00:29:51,300 And while we're at it... 618 00:29:54,100 --> 00:29:55,400 I accept. 619 00:29:56,300 --> 00:29:59,000 You know, if you and I work together, 620 00:29:58,900 --> 00:30:01,400 we will definitely win this Key Largo prize. 621 00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:02,500 No. 622 00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:04,600 Come on, Mia. Why are you being so difficult? 623 00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:06,100 I want my tickle friend back. 624 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,400 You do? 625 00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:12,500 Rich? 626 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:13,800 Something's stuck. 627 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,100 Jesus Christ, there was a diamond ring in that brownie. 628 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,200 It was in the send back area. It was up for grabs. 629 00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:23,000 -You said it was a send back. - I said I want my tickle friend back. 630 00:30:22,900 --> 00:30:25,100 What the fuck is a tickle friend? 631 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,300 Cough it up. 632 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:30,700 Come on! 633 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:32,800 I'm not choking. I swallowed it. 634 00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:34,800 Get it out. 635 00:30:51,500 --> 00:30:53,900 Clam chowder for the gentleman. 636 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,300 1, 2, 3. 637 00:30:57,900 --> 00:31:00,900 The salmon and haricots verts for the lady. 638 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,200 1, 2, 3. 639 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,000 Soup spoon. 640 00:31:06,100 --> 00:31:08,700 1, 2, 3. 641 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:12,200 Is there anything else I can get you this evening? 642 00:31:12,100 --> 00:31:14,300 I think we're fine for now. 643 00:31:14,300 --> 00:31:15,900 Thank you. 644 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,300 1, 2, 3. 645 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,100 Enjoy your wine. 646 00:31:28,300 --> 00:31:30,800 Dude, it's heading down to Funkytown. 647 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,400 I can't feel it anymore. 648 00:31:32,300 --> 00:31:34,100 - What is that thing? - It's a stud finder. 649 00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:36,600 Stud finder? Sounds like a gay dating service. 650 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:38,100 Heyoo! 651 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,700 Can we just get the ring, please? 652 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,700 - Tara. - What? 653 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:44,300 We need medical help. Rich just swallowed a really important diamond ring. 654 00:31:44,300 --> 00:31:46,800 Um, is it still in the esophagus? 655 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,300 Okay, well, it's too deep to expunge by vomiting. 656 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,400 It could tear the esophageal tissue on its way up. 657 00:31:52,300 --> 00:31:53,700 After all, it is a diamond. 658 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,300 Hardest substance known to man! 659 00:31:55,300 --> 00:31:59,300 Look, my advice-- you have to pass it anally. 660 00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:01,900 - Shit. - Hope it doesn't turn into coal. 661 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,800 Dude, you better pray it doesn't fork off into your dick. 662 00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:05,400 Ouch. 663 00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:06,900 Nuts, what was with that counting thing at the table? 664 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,000 Counting? 665 00:32:08,900 --> 00:32:10,400 Did you take your meds today? 666 00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:13,000 Meds? Yeah, 3:30. Took 'em before I came here. 667 00:32:12,900 --> 00:32:15,600 Next one is at 8:30. 668 00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:16,900 Right now. 669 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,300 Wait, did you account for daylight savings? 670 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,900 Daylight savings. No. No. 671 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,900 Well, that means that your body actually thinks it's 9:30. 672 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:25,500 You were supposed to take your meds an hour ago. 673 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,900 Not good. 674 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,900 Okay, look, why don't you take them and I'll watch your section? 675 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,400 Yeah. 676 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,400 Probably all those cock rings jangling around in there. 677 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:35,800 Nuts, Nuts, Nuts, where are you going? 678 00:32:35,700 --> 00:32:38,300 I've got to get something out of the coat room. Just take a second. 679 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,200 Can you watch these guy's tables? I got a diamond ring in me, man. 680 00:32:42,300 --> 00:32:44,600 That's all right. I'll get it later. 681 00:32:57,700 --> 00:32:59,900 - Was he just skipping? - What? 682 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,400 - Was he just skipping? - Pig in a poke. 683 00:33:02,300 --> 00:33:03,800 Let's get back to work. 684 00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:06,400 I think I got a pretty good bead on a lunch box. 685 00:33:16,700 --> 00:33:18,000 What's up, buddy? 686 00:33:17,900 --> 00:33:21,000 Okay, there's been a bit of a snag. 687 00:33:20,900 --> 00:33:22,200 Okay, what? 688 00:33:22,100 --> 00:33:23,900 Someone ate your engagement ring. 689 00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:28,400 You're fucking with me. That's good. 690 00:33:28,300 --> 00:33:30,500 No. I put the ring in the brownie 691 00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:32,700 and I turned my back for just one second 692 00:33:32,700 --> 00:33:35,100 and a member of the staff ate the brownie. 693 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,800 You stupid cock. That was a $450,000 694 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,300 South African Bing diamond. 695 00:33:39,300 --> 00:33:42,300 I want to speak to the manager and the asshole who ate it now. 696 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,300 Did you know some dumb fuck ate my ring? 697 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,300 Yes, sir. And I'm terribly sorry about that. 698 00:33:48,100 --> 00:33:49,500 So what are you gonna do about it? 699 00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:51,200 I'm trying to pass it. 700 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,400 - Come again? - I'm trying to pass it. 701 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,500 Anally. Coffee, cigarettes, laxatives. 702 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,700 - It was you? - Yes it was. 703 00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:04,200 That was a $450,000 South African Bing diamond you just ate. 704 00:34:04,300 --> 00:34:06,300 Your meal is on the house tonight. 705 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:07,600 Screw the meal. 706 00:34:07,500 --> 00:34:11,400 If you don't fuck out that shitting diamond and fast I'm gonna kick your ass. 707 00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:14,000 And Conster, there will be a sequel to that. 708 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,700 Como se dice "Cleveland steamer"? 709 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,200 Don't worry about it. 710 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,100 Yo, Dave. 711 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,400 No, don't even say it. 712 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,700 The woman said it's cold. 713 00:34:25,700 --> 00:34:28,100 - It's steaming. - I know. 714 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,300 Fucking customers. 715 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,300 I mean, I told her to cook with her ass and then go fuck herself but she insisted. 716 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,500 I like you, Guy. 717 00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:36,700 Jamie, nuke the dick out of it. 718 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,400 Si, se�or. 719 00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:51,200 Hey, what's that blue shit on your lips? 720 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,300 Nothing. 721 00:34:52,300 --> 00:34:54,700 - Blue Curacao. - Are you drunk? 722 00:34:57,100 --> 00:34:59,300 Asshole, I got you this fucking job. 723 00:34:59,300 --> 00:35:01,400 You screw this up, I'm telling Mom. 724 00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:03,300 No! 725 00:35:03,300 --> 00:35:05,400 Come on, Se�or Dave, get him! 726 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,400 Get him, Dave. Come on, man. 727 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,500 I'm gonna stick your fucking face in the oven. 728 00:35:13,500 --> 00:35:15,300 I fucking hate you! 729 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,000 Come on, se�or! 730 00:35:21,900 --> 00:35:24,400 Twins are disgusting, man. 731 00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:27,800 Want me to put your head in the oven? 'Cause I'll do it! I'll do it! 732 00:35:27,700 --> 00:35:29,600 I'm sorry. 733 00:35:29,500 --> 00:35:31,900 The kitchen just told me we're out of the brownies. 734 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,700 So would you like the souffl� instead? 735 00:35:33,700 --> 00:35:35,700 It takes an hour to prepare. 736 00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:37,200 I don't think that we actually need-- 737 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,100 - We'll take it. - Honey. 738 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,100 Now tell me all about your plans for the living room. 739 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,200 Okay, 740 00:35:43,100 --> 00:35:46,200 where is my boyfriend and what did you do with him? 741 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,700 Okay, think pillows. 742 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,000 - I'll leave you two alone. - Starting with the bathtub... 743 00:35:53,900 --> 00:35:55,800 Thank you. 744 00:35:55,700 --> 00:35:58,100 I'm a ballerina, you know? 745 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,700 And I'm putting myself through the Bilitnikoff Ballet School. 746 00:36:02,700 --> 00:36:05,400 Well, you certainly got the body for it. 747 00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:08,700 And it stretches in every direction. 748 00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:13,700 Here's a little something extra 749 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,300 for the Sugar Plum Fairy. 750 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,600 Thank you. 751 00:36:20,700 --> 00:36:23,100 What are you looking at, Liz? 752 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,000 -You are so winning this contest. - Yeah. 753 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:26,900 shit! 754 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,500 Don't cry. It's gonna look fine. 755 00:37:33,700 --> 00:37:35,700 Gently, gently, gently. 756 00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:38,000 This looks all right. Was this a cream-based soup? 757 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,800 Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think so. 758 00:37:39,700 --> 00:37:42,500 - Does that make a difference? - Sometimes. 759 00:37:42,500 --> 00:37:45,400 Okay, well, it looks like first-degree burns. 760 00:37:45,300 --> 00:37:47,300 It could lead to some epidermal scarring. 761 00:37:47,300 --> 00:37:51,200 I want you to go home and get some rest and drink plenty of water. 762 00:37:51,100 --> 00:37:54,200 I am not going home. I'm in first place. 763 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,300 Hey, that's the spirit, Mia. Get out there. 764 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,100 What? Rich, no. Look, she needs to rest 765 00:37:58,100 --> 00:38:01,100 and put some ichthammol or sulfadiazine on her face. 766 00:38:00,900 --> 00:38:04,400 Yeah, Rich, she needs ichthioldizine. 767 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,200 Thank you, Donnie. At least someone here has a heart. 768 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,500 - Thank you. - Um, all right. 769 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,000 You guys are right. You're right. 770 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,400 Mia, you should go home. 771 00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,100 Did Baryshnikov go home 772 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,800 when he twisted his ankle at the Bolshoi Festival? 773 00:38:18,700 --> 00:38:20,000 I... 774 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:24,100 Did Vladimir Putinski walk away when he sprained his toe 775 00:38:23,900 --> 00:38:26,700 doing "The Marzipan King" at the Ballet des Elys�es? 776 00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,300 I'm guessing by your tone, no. 777 00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:33,400 Okay, did Joe Theesman quit baseball when he broke his leg? 778 00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:35,700 Um, it's actually Joe Theismann, 779 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,100 and he never played football again. 780 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:40,600 Either way, I am tougher than you are, motherfucker. 781 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,300 What's that? 782 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:46,200 No, shit. Okay, I'll be back. 783 00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:49,100 - Look, Mia, just sit down, okay? -Yeah yeah. Don't touch. 784 00:38:49,100 --> 00:38:50,800 The Captain of Crunch, 785 00:38:50,700 --> 00:38:53,800 the Heavyweight Champion of the World, 786 00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:56,300 Slammin' Cleon Salmon. 787 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:00,400 You've got to be kidding me. 788 00:39:00,300 --> 00:39:03,200 I am here. Undefeated, baby. 789 00:39:03,100 --> 00:39:05,300 - The king is here. -You're number one. 790 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,100 How you doing? Come here and give me a hug. 791 00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:08,700 You look good. 792 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,500 Hey, get a carrot for the SS Fudgealicious, okay? 793 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:13,400 I assume that's the horse? 794 00:39:13,300 --> 00:39:17,100 Never assume. When you assume you make an asshole out of yourself. 795 00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,700 All right, thank you. Go back to eating. 796 00:39:20,700 --> 00:39:22,300 Enjoy yourselves. Forget it. It's not about me. 797 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:25,900 Hey, Rich, tell Dave to cook that swordfish. 798 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,600 I won it from Emeril Lagasse in a thumb-wrestling contest. 799 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,200 I broke this thumb. 800 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:32,300 He cried like a baby. 801 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,000 Hey, look, me and Mr. Yamamuri, 802 00:39:34,900 --> 00:39:36,900 we want the best seat in the house. 803 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,300 We want the royal treatment, Rich. 804 00:39:38,300 --> 00:39:39,800 Champ, you can't. 805 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,500 I mean, we need those tables if you want to earn the 20 grand. 806 00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:45,100 That's nice, Rich. Check this out. 807 00:39:45,100 --> 00:39:47,200 If you don't find me a table, 808 00:39:47,100 --> 00:39:50,700 I'm gonna shove him up your ass. 809 00:39:51,900 --> 00:39:54,000 Champ, isn't he Yakuza? 810 00:39:53,900 --> 00:39:56,800 Come on, man. Don't be racist. No, he's not Yakuza. 811 00:39:56,700 --> 00:40:00,600 Mr. Yamamuri is gonna make the first Slammin' Salmon candy bar in Japan. 812 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,400 Check it out-- a layer of chocolate, 813 00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:06,300 nougat, peanut, more nougat and salmon. 814 00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,300 Yeah, I know it sounds nasty, but trust me. 815 00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,700 They love that fish candy over in the Orient. 816 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:12,900 Now I'm saying that to say this: 817 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:15,700 shut the fuck up, get me a table, 818 00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:18,500 or I'm gonna use your nuts for cufflinks. 819 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,500 - Coming right up. Great. - All right. 820 00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:22,300 - Candy bar sounds delicious. - It is. 821 00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,600 - Okay, be right back. - All right. 822 00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:26,900 You're gonna love this waitress. She's a ballerina. 823 00:40:26,900 --> 00:40:30,000 Graceful like a swan. Tell Mr. Yamamuri. 824 00:40:31,900 --> 00:40:33,400 Hey, Champ. 825 00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:38,600 What the fuck happened to you? 826 00:40:38,500 --> 00:40:40,600 I got burned with soup. 827 00:40:40,500 --> 00:40:43,800 Don't you know you're supposed to blow on it first? 828 00:40:43,700 --> 00:40:45,000 Yes, Champ. 829 00:40:44,900 --> 00:40:47,200 Well, don't just stand there. Get out of here, soupface. 830 00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:48,500 You're offending my Tokyokan guest. 831 00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:51,500 - Get me the smart girl. - Tara? 832 00:40:51,300 --> 00:40:54,100 -Yeah. -Yeah, I'm gonna get her for you. 833 00:40:54,100 --> 00:40:56,700 And tell her to bring me some champagne. 834 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:59,600 I am so sorry, but her soupface scared the shit out of me. 835 00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:01,200 My voice is not that high. 836 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,100 This says 8 hours. I need something faster. 837 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:07,900 I hear eye-drops work on some people. 838 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,400 One glass of apple juice and I can fill up a mailbox. 839 00:41:10,300 --> 00:41:13,300 -Yogurt. - Cheddar cheese. 840 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:17,100 Tara, the Champ wants you to wait on him. 841 00:41:17,900 --> 00:41:19,600 Okay. 842 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,900 - Cause of the... - Yeah. Right. 843 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:31,700 Mr. Yamamuri say he think if Muhammad Ali 844 00:41:31,500 --> 00:41:34,000 was still young man no one ever defeat him. 845 00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,900 Yeah, well, if ifs and buts was candies and nuts, 846 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:39,900 we'd all have a merry Christmas. Tell him that. 847 00:41:44,100 --> 00:41:45,800 No, I didn't say that. 848 00:41:45,700 --> 00:41:49,400 If ifs and buts was candies and nuts, 849 00:41:49,300 --> 00:41:51,600 we'd all have a merry Christmas. 850 00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:52,900 Yes, Champ-san. 851 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,900 - I translate-- - Say it! 852 00:41:57,100 --> 00:42:01,200 If if and but was candy and nut, 853 00:42:01,100 --> 00:42:03,400 we all have a merry Christmas. 854 00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:05,900 Thank you. Was that so hard? 855 00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:07,300 Hey, Champ. 856 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,900 Dave, what did you do? Did you blow Papa Smurf? 857 00:42:15,100 --> 00:42:17,900 Blow Papa Smurf. 858 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:22,400 We got a couple of stiffs over here. 859 00:42:22,300 --> 00:42:24,100 Champ, would you like to order some appetizers? 860 00:42:24,100 --> 00:42:26,700 Yes, I would like to order some encrapments. 861 00:42:26,700 --> 00:42:29,300 I will have the frutti del mare, 862 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,600 the oysters del cabana 863 00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:33,800 and the clams casino. 864 00:42:33,700 --> 00:42:36,100 And for the entree I want that swordfish that I caught. 865 00:42:36,300 --> 00:42:38,900 And Dave, make sure you cook the nose too. 866 00:42:38,900 --> 00:42:41,200 I want to see what that tastes like. 867 00:42:41,100 --> 00:42:42,600 You got that, Dave? 868 00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,100 And I want maraschino cherries on everything. 869 00:42:45,100 --> 00:42:48,000 Did you know that the word maraschino 870 00:42:47,900 --> 00:42:51,200 came from the boxer Rocky Maraschino? 871 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:54,000 It's actually Rocky Marciano. 872 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,900 Whatever, motherfucker! 873 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,100 Okay. Okay. Okay. 874 00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,200 How do you say motherfucker in Spanish? 875 00:43:03,100 --> 00:43:05,600 Most guys go surf 'n' turf. 876 00:43:05,500 --> 00:43:08,400 But I like a guy who goes surf 'n' surf 'n' turf 'n' turf. 877 00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,100 You know, actually, could you give us a minute? 878 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,700 And we will call you when we need you. 879 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,000 You men always say you're gonna call. 880 00:43:16,900 --> 00:43:18,900 Okay, actually I'm just trying to keep my appetite here. 881 00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,900 But thank you... 882 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,000 for groping me 883 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,100 and bringing your face into our dinner. 884 00:43:26,500 --> 00:43:29,400 These are the days I thank God I have a perfect face. 885 00:43:35,700 --> 00:43:37,100 Sorry. 886 00:43:44,900 --> 00:43:46,700 Hey, you. 887 00:43:48,700 --> 00:43:52,300 So I'm gonna take you up on your offer about working as a team. 888 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:55,300 I don't know. 889 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,400 I think I would drag you down. 890 00:43:57,300 --> 00:43:58,800 No. 891 00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,100 Best of luck to you. 892 00:44:02,300 --> 00:44:04,800 Get it out of the soup! Get it out of the soup! 893 00:44:04,700 --> 00:44:07,300 Will somebody please kill this thing?! 894 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,700 He's strong! He's strong! 895 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,500 What the fuck is taking so long? 896 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,200 You have to dominate the swordfish. 897 00:44:22,100 --> 00:44:24,900 Only then can you saut� it. 898 00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,000 Thanks, Champ. 899 00:44:26,900 --> 00:44:28,800 Rich, numbers! 900 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:31,200 Here you go. 901 00:44:31,100 --> 00:44:32,500 Are we at 20 grand yet? 902 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:33,800 We're at 12,000. 903 00:44:33,700 --> 00:44:35,600 That's not even halfway. 904 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,200 - Um, actually... - In my office! 905 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:41,600 Everybody in my office! 906 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,000 No, no, no, not the customers. 907 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:46,700 You guys sit down. 908 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,000 Wait staff in my office. 909 00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:07,200 So I guess nobody wants this trip to the Bahamas. 910 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,800 Um, it's actually Key Largo, Champ. Persuasions. 911 00:45:09,700 --> 00:45:13,000 You know what? Don't say another word. 912 00:45:12,900 --> 00:45:16,100 'Cause you've proven yourself useless, wouldn't you say? 913 00:45:15,900 --> 00:45:18,000 Say it. 914 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:22,200 I am useless with a capital Y. 915 00:45:22,100 --> 00:45:24,300 I am useless 916 00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,200 with a capital Y. 917 00:45:26,100 --> 00:45:29,600 That's right. Now then, when I was in your position, 918 00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:31,800 I would have rabbit-punched my own mother 919 00:45:31,700 --> 00:45:33,600 for a trip to the Bahamas. 920 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,500 Are you telling me you wouldn't want to be on a beach right now 921 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,300 sipping on a strawberry daiquiri? 922 00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:42,000 - I would like that very much. - Well, too bad! 923 00:45:41,900 --> 00:45:44,500 'Cause strawberry daiquiris are for closers! 924 00:45:44,500 --> 00:45:46,300 Not for pussies! 925 00:45:49,100 --> 00:45:50,500 Hey, numbnuts. 926 00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:52,800 Yeah, Champ? 927 00:45:52,700 --> 00:45:55,300 You're gonna be polishing my fist with your teeth. 928 00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:57,900 I'll get to you later. 929 00:45:57,900 --> 00:46:01,200 Who is Guy "Meatdrapes"? What kind of name is that? 930 00:46:01,100 --> 00:46:03,600 It's Metdrapedes, sir. 931 00:46:03,500 --> 00:46:05,500 It's Greek. 932 00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,800 Well, I think you're pronouncing it wrong. 933 00:46:07,700 --> 00:46:09,700 This says "Meatdrapes." 934 00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:12,200 It's actually pronounced Metdrapedes. 935 00:46:12,100 --> 00:46:14,100 Well, why doesn't it sound like that when I say it? 936 00:46:14,100 --> 00:46:15,900 "Meatdrapes." 937 00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:18,100 I don't know. 938 00:46:18,100 --> 00:46:20,400 You don't know much, do you, Guy? 939 00:46:20,300 --> 00:46:22,000 No, sir. 940 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,200 Well, if a trip to the Bahamas 941 00:46:24,100 --> 00:46:26,600 ain't gonna get the molasses out ya asses, 942 00:46:26,500 --> 00:46:29,000 maybe $10,000 will do the trick. 943 00:46:28,900 --> 00:46:31,300 - What? - What? 944 00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,100 - 10,000 bucks? - That's right, new prize. 945 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:37,700 Top waiter leaves here tonight with 10 grand in his pocket. 946 00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:41,000 Do you know what 10 grand feels like in your pocket? 947 00:46:40,900 --> 00:46:43,100 It feels like a third cock. 948 00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:46,500 Jesus, how many cocks you got, Champ? 949 00:46:48,100 --> 00:46:50,000 Are you lampooning me, Meatdrapes? 950 00:46:49,900 --> 00:46:51,200 No, of course not, sir. 951 00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:54,000 -You want a punch in the eye, Guy? - No, please. 952 00:46:53,900 --> 00:46:55,900 I can make your face look like a pie, Guy. 953 00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:57,600 God, no. 954 00:47:08,500 --> 00:47:10,800 Excuse me. I didn't mean to do that. 955 00:47:10,700 --> 00:47:13,500 But now you know the deal. 956 00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:15,700 The waiter that comes in first place 957 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,900 gets $10,000. 958 00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:21,200 Whoever comes in last gets a broken rib sandwich. 959 00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:24,000 And I wasn't even trying to hurt him. 960 00:47:23,900 --> 00:47:27,200 - Are you about to cry, Guy? - No, of course not. 961 00:47:27,100 --> 00:47:28,800 Loosen up your tie, Guy. 962 00:47:28,900 --> 00:47:31,100 Did you hear what I just said? 963 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:33,000 It was a rhyme. 964 00:47:32,900 --> 00:47:36,300 If you're not gonna cry, then put it in his eye. 965 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:40,900 Punch to the gut and make him smell like a skunk. 966 00:47:40,700 --> 00:47:43,300 If he runs out of meat then he's... 967 00:47:51,900 --> 00:47:53,800 So what are you all staring at? 968 00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:56,000 Don't nobody want $10,000? 969 00:47:55,900 --> 00:47:58,500 Get the hell out of here now! 970 00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,000 Bullshit, big nose, it's already over. 971 00:48:02,300 --> 00:48:03,900 Champ, 972 00:48:03,900 --> 00:48:05,900 I don't mean to tell you your business, 973 00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,400 but if you have to make 20 grand tonight and you give away 10, 974 00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:11,000 it works counter to what you're trying to do. 975 00:48:10,900 --> 00:48:14,300 Richardo, believe it or not, I ain't a numbers man. 976 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,200 I punch people for a living. 977 00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:19,400 And I'm gonna punch you if you don't make that money tonight. 978 00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,000 Okay, that's good math. I'm on it. 979 00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,200 -You really mean that? - Yeah I do. 980 00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:38,600 That is so cool. 981 00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:40,800 It's that couple's 20th wedding anniversary. 982 00:48:40,700 --> 00:48:44,400 Really? They look so young. 983 00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:46,000 Well, they've been married since they were 16. 984 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,400 Can you believe? That's amore. 985 00:48:49,300 --> 00:48:53,300 Gordon, send those kids a bottle of champagne. 986 00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:55,000 Apparently they've been married for 10 years. 987 00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,700 But she didn't want to get pregnant until the cancer went into remission. 988 00:48:57,700 --> 00:49:00,800 Well, it went into remission last week. 989 00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,400 Will you send them a bottle of your best champagne? On us, of course. 990 00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:05,200 - It'd be my pleasure. - Thank you. 991 00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:07,200 You see that man over there? 992 00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,900 He's the one who pulled me from the burning car. 993 00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:11,300 He's my hero. 994 00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,200 After 3 years in a wheelchair, 995 00:49:13,100 --> 00:49:15,100 he walked into her arms. 996 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,700 It was "Oprah"'s highest rated episode. 997 00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:20,600 And they're sitting right over there. 998 00:49:20,500 --> 00:49:23,900 I am gonna stuff it in your ass tonight. 999 00:49:23,900 --> 00:49:26,700 Well, that's gonna be an extra 50 bucks. 1000 00:49:26,500 --> 00:49:29,700 That's okay. Shellfish makes me horny. 1001 00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,400 - Good, 'cause I got crabs. - Who doesn't? 1002 00:49:32,300 --> 00:49:35,700 Excuse me, sir. Compliments of the house. 1003 00:49:41,900 --> 00:49:44,100 What is this, some kind of hidden camera thing? 1004 00:49:44,100 --> 00:49:47,000 - Are you miked? - Are you miked? 1005 00:49:46,900 --> 00:49:49,800 I was just kidding about the anal. 1006 00:49:51,300 --> 00:49:52,700 I was just bored at the hotel. 1007 00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:54,700 I was looking for something to do with my cock. 1008 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,700 Perfectly natch. 1009 00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:59,800 Come on, take a look at her. You wouldn't kick in that back door? 1010 00:49:59,700 --> 00:50:02,400 - I'm not ashamed. - Fuck this! 1011 00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:18,200 Yeah, Guy. Number 2 with a bullet. 1012 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,500 Congratulations. 1013 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:21,800 Burn. 1014 00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:24,400 I would like to see you try and sell with a burnedface, 1015 00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:29,000 Sucks to be you, Hiroshima. 1016 00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:31,800 10 grand! 1017 00:50:31,700 --> 00:50:36,300 I got my eye on a leather couch with a velvet dick hole in it. 1018 00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:37,700 Yeah? Well, check out the scoreboard. 1019 00:50:37,700 --> 00:50:39,600 You got to get by me first, fake 'n' bake. 1020 00:50:39,900 --> 00:50:42,600 - See ya. - I am going to own this. 1021 00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,900 Hi there. Hey. 1022 00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:57,800 Is that Norma Jones? 1023 00:50:57,700 --> 00:50:59,500 That's Nutella the pop star. 1024 00:50:59,500 --> 00:51:01,800 Yeah, you take Norah Jones, Fergie and Beyonc� 1025 00:51:01,700 --> 00:51:03,200 and mix 'em together, you get Nutella. 1026 00:51:03,100 --> 00:51:06,600 Who's Beyonc�? 1027 00:51:06,500 --> 00:51:09,500 - Nutella, Nutella. - There he is. 1028 00:51:09,300 --> 00:51:11,100 Good to see you. 1029 00:51:13,300 --> 00:51:16,400 Nutella thinks it's always good to see you too, Champ. 1030 00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:17,800 Give 'em the best seat in the house. 1031 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:21,000 Thank you, baby. Y'all see all that chocolate? 1032 00:51:20,900 --> 00:51:23,000 - I know, I love chocolate. - I heard that. 1033 00:51:22,900 --> 00:51:24,400 - Right this way. - All right. 1034 00:51:24,300 --> 00:51:26,700 - Perfect, that table. - Come on. 1035 00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:29,600 - Thank you. -Yes! 1036 00:51:29,500 --> 00:51:31,800 Come on. 1037 00:51:31,700 --> 00:51:34,700 - Hey, sexy Patty. - Hey. 1038 00:51:34,700 --> 00:51:36,400 Hey, if you give me the best tables for the rest of the night 1039 00:51:36,300 --> 00:51:38,000 I'll take you to Persuasions with me. 1040 00:51:37,900 --> 00:51:39,700 I thought you were taking Mia. 1041 00:51:39,700 --> 00:51:42,500 No, I would rather take you-a. 1042 00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:44,500 My God, you are so funny. 1043 00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:45,800 You've got a great sense of humor. 1044 00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:47,300 You have great posture. 1045 00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:48,700 I used to have scoliosis. 1046 00:51:48,700 --> 00:51:51,000 You can't tell. 1047 00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:56,100 Good evening, Miss Nutella. 1048 00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:59,300 We are so honored to have you with us tonight. 1049 00:51:59,300 --> 00:52:02,100 Can I just say that I love your song 1050 00:52:02,100 --> 00:52:04,300 "Too Sincere For You"? 1051 00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:07,900 * For you... It's up here. 1052 00:52:07,700 --> 00:52:09,500 Got it. Nutella thanks you, baby. 1053 00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,000 Now can we order fast? 'Cause Nutella is hungry. 1054 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,600 Of course. 1055 00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:15,500 So what should we have? 1056 00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:19,500 Well, the Champ ordered 2 bottles of Cristal, 1057 00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,700 4 lobsters troubadour, 1058 00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:23,500 an Alaskan king crab, 1059 00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:26,900 oysters carbonara and a round of swordfish. 1060 00:52:26,700 --> 00:52:29,200 Well, we will take 5 of that. 1061 00:52:29,100 --> 00:52:31,400 - Fantastic. -You treat Nutella right, 1062 00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,200 Nutella treats you right. 1063 00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:35,100 - I know what you're saying, girlfriend. - All right, girl. 1064 00:52:35,100 --> 00:52:38,300 - Okay, right. - Show 'em what you're working with. 1065 00:52:55,300 --> 00:52:58,300 Okay, great. There we go. 1066 00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:03,200 No. What? What are you doing? 1067 00:53:03,100 --> 00:53:05,200 - Why am I on the board? - I am giving you a section. 1068 00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:07,300 Congratulations, you are in the competition. 1069 00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:08,600 What are you talking about? I'm a busboy. 1070 00:53:08,500 --> 00:53:11,300 -You were a busboy. - Get your hands off me. 1071 00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:12,700 But now you're a waiter. 1072 00:53:12,700 --> 00:53:15,500 No, I don't know the first thing about waiting tables. 1073 00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:17,900 It's very simple. You ask the people what they want, 1074 00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:20,200 and then you bring it to them. A monkey could do it. 1075 00:53:20,100 --> 00:53:23,600 I'm 4 hours behind these guys and I'm shitfaced. 1076 00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,200 - Bring those tables out. - No, no, no! 1077 00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,500 Great, stick them wherever they fit. 1078 00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:29,200 Please don't do this. 1079 00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:31,600 Rock shrimp and scallop linguini. 1080 00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:34,300 Stay close to the shitter. I call it my pants down pasta. 1081 00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:36,100 Be sure to eat all the cream. Hey, douchebag. 1082 00:53:36,100 --> 00:53:38,700 Dave, you've got to tell the guy I'm a fuck-up, yeah? 1083 00:53:38,700 --> 00:53:41,200 No, no, no, you'll do great. You made it through 6 months of college. 1084 00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,700 - Come on, Dave. - Sounds like waiter material to me. 1085 00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,600 This is delicious. 1086 00:53:45,500 --> 00:53:49,400 I hope the Champ knocks every tooth out of your fucking head. 1087 00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:51,300 I hope the Champ knocks your tooth out. 1088 00:53:58,500 --> 00:54:01,400 Shots, shots, shots. Come on, get it into ya. 1089 00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:07,000 Hello, gentlemen, and welcome to the Salmon Slammin'. 1090 00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:10,300 My name is Donnie. Can I start you off with something to drink tonight? 1091 00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:12,800 We've already got some drinks, haven't we, mate? 1092 00:54:12,700 --> 00:54:14,700 Sounds like you're from the UK. 1093 00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:18,000 Are you in a band like Oasis or Herman's Hermits? 1094 00:54:17,900 --> 00:54:20,600 No, we're not. 1095 00:54:20,500 --> 00:54:23,300 Are there any answers I can question you from the menu tonight? 1096 00:54:23,300 --> 00:54:26,600 All right, Donnie, why don't you tell us something good on the menu? 1097 00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,300 Well, the Blue Curacao is excellent. 1098 00:54:28,900 --> 00:54:30,400 Private joke. 1099 00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,700 Just get us some more shots, all right? 1100 00:54:32,700 --> 00:54:35,300 Then I will just clear these shot glasses out of the way for you. 1101 00:54:35,100 --> 00:54:37,300 Hey, hey! 1102 00:54:41,700 --> 00:54:43,900 You fucking cunt. 1103 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,600 I'm not drunk. 1104 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,300 So how is everything tonight? 1105 00:55:01,700 --> 00:55:04,400 Truly splendid, Guy. Thank you. 1106 00:55:04,300 --> 00:55:06,900 Well, we're really really busy tonight. 1107 00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:08,700 Yes, I can see that. 1108 00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:11,200 So is there anything else I can get for you tonight 1109 00:55:11,100 --> 00:55:13,300 or just the check? 1110 00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:15,900 Well, I wouldn't mind a cup of tea. 1111 00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,300 Get the fuck out of here. 1112 00:55:19,300 --> 00:55:21,300 Excuse me? 1113 00:55:21,300 --> 00:55:22,800 Are you reading "War and Peace"? 1114 00:55:22,700 --> 00:55:24,000 Get the fuck out of here. I love that book. 1115 00:55:24,100 --> 00:55:27,300 Well, perhaps you'd like to come to my book club. 1116 00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:31,500 Yeah, last week we read Flaubert's "Madame Bovary." 1117 00:55:31,300 --> 00:55:33,500 It really brought the... 1118 00:55:33,500 --> 00:55:35,800 house down. 1119 00:55:35,700 --> 00:55:37,600 Hey, kid. 1120 00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:38,800 I like you. 1121 00:55:38,700 --> 00:55:40,900 I think they put you in a really tough situation. 1122 00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:42,900 I'm gonna help you out and give you one of my tables. 1123 00:55:42,900 --> 00:55:44,600 Really? Thanks. 1124 00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:46,800 Yeah, see Donald Trump over there? 1125 00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:50,500 Knock yourself out. 1126 00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:55,600 Connor. 1127 00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:57,900 I just sat you a 6. 1128 00:55:57,800 --> 00:55:59,200 6. 1129 00:55:59,300 --> 00:56:01,000 Thanks, Patty. 1130 00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:06,500 So you just keep whacking him in the knee. 1131 00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:10,900 Painful, but better than a punch in the face. 1132 00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:20,200 - Connor? - Hey, Morgan. 1133 00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:22,600 Hi. 1134 00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:24,500 You remember Dick Lobo, 1135 00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,800 - the producer of "CFI Hotlanta." - Hey. 1136 00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:28,300 Of course. 1137 00:56:28,300 --> 00:56:30,200 And the entire rest of the cast. 1138 00:56:30,100 --> 00:56:32,800 Yeah, Ron, Mary Kay, Jojo. 1139 00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:35,400 Um, what are you guys doing here? 1140 00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:38,400 We're in town to shoot this fabulous crossover promo 1141 00:56:38,300 --> 00:56:39,600 with "CFI Miami." 1142 00:56:39,500 --> 00:56:41,000 Cool. 1143 00:56:41,100 --> 00:56:43,300 You know, somebody suggested that if I was in Miami 1144 00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:44,700 this is the place to come. 1145 00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:46,400 That was me. 1146 00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,800 Right. Right. 1147 00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:50,900 Yeah, so what are you doing here? 1148 00:56:50,900 --> 00:56:53,500 You researching a role for TV or something? 1149 00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:55,100 Not really. 1150 00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:57,800 I actually just work here. So... 1151 00:56:57,800 --> 00:56:59,800 Keeping it real. 1152 00:57:00,300 --> 00:57:03,700 - Good for you, dog. - All right. Okay. 1153 00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:08,200 So can I get you all started off 1154 00:57:08,100 --> 00:57:10,300 with something to drink? 1155 00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:14,600 I told myself I wasn't going to put 1156 00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:19,000 my thumbprint into every dessert 1157 00:57:18,900 --> 00:57:20,400 and yet... 1158 00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:24,800 That's impossible. 1159 00:57:24,700 --> 00:57:26,600 I never touched that one. 1160 00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:28,000 You know you're gonna have to start over now. 1161 00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:29,400 I know. 1162 00:57:30,300 --> 00:57:33,000 I told myself I wasn't going to put... 1163 00:57:32,900 --> 00:57:34,700 This is undefeated, you are-- 1164 00:57:34,700 --> 00:57:36,700 should be depleted. 1165 00:57:36,700 --> 00:57:38,200 When you go against me 1166 00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:40,700 you're gonna be needing a paramedic. 1167 00:57:40,700 --> 00:57:43,600 P-a-r-a-dic. Paramedic. 1168 00:57:45,700 --> 00:57:48,600 Zongo's in the house! 1169 00:57:57,100 --> 00:57:59,400 Hey, he's onto something. 1170 00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,000 You guys see Nuts? 1171 00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:04,300 I want all the wait staff skipping just like Nuts now. 1172 00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:09,000 God damn it, I said now! Skip! 1173 00:58:08,900 --> 00:58:11,400 Skip, everybody! 1174 00:58:11,300 --> 00:58:13,600 Keep skipping. Keep skipping. 1175 00:58:13,500 --> 00:58:15,200 If you're in one place, hop up and down. 1176 00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:18,000 - There you go, man. - You doing all right? 1177 00:58:17,900 --> 00:58:21,500 Skip it like you mean it! Keep skipping! 1178 00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:22,900 What the fuck? 1179 00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:26,200 * Tempura 1180 00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:29,500 * It's delicious. 1181 00:58:32,100 --> 00:58:34,500 That's great. 1182 00:58:34,500 --> 00:58:36,500 I love it. We'll take all of it. 1183 00:58:36,500 --> 00:58:38,600 - Nuts, Nuts, come here. - Tara, Tara, Tara. 1184 00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,500 Rich, he's over the edge. We have to help him. 1185 00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:43,000 Let it slide. He's selling like crazy. 1186 00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:46,100 -You don't care? - I totally care. 1187 00:58:47,900 --> 00:58:49,900 Rich, look at him. He's totally out of control. 1188 00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:52,100 That doesn't bother you? 1189 00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,900 - Keep up the good work, okay? - Rich, come on. Something's wrong. 1190 00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:56,600 If you need anything ask for Zongo. 1191 00:58:58,000 --> 00:58:59,800 In second place is Connor. 1192 00:58:59,700 --> 00:59:03,000 And in first place, Nuts/Zongo. 1193 00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:05,000 - Nuts is in first? Jesus Christ. - What? 1194 00:59:04,900 --> 00:59:07,100 Rich, he's bazonkers. Get him off the floor. 1195 00:59:07,100 --> 00:59:09,500 -Yeah. - Look, aren't we all a little bazonkers? 1196 00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:11,900 Rich, why are you doing this? Is it because of the Champ? 1197 00:59:11,900 --> 00:59:13,700 That's ridiculous. We have a job to do. 1198 00:59:13,700 --> 00:59:15,500 Nuts and Zongo should at least count as 2 different people. 1199 00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:16,700 - I agree. -Yes. 1200 00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:19,100 Look, if it's any consolation, you're all really close together. 1201 00:59:19,100 --> 00:59:21,000 Except for you, Donnie. 1202 00:59:22,900 --> 00:59:25,400 My God. Excuse me. I've got to go. 1203 00:59:28,100 --> 00:59:31,300 - Got to be an asshole about this. - I ain't losing to some lunatic. 1204 00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:35,400 If you don't like mauve we can totally do some kind of texture 1205 00:59:35,300 --> 00:59:36,800 mosaic finger-painting. 1206 00:59:36,900 --> 00:59:38,700 Excuse me. 1207 00:59:38,600 --> 00:59:41,000 I just wanted to let you know that the chef 1208 00:59:40,900 --> 00:59:42,900 is pushing out 1209 00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:45,500 your dessert from the oven. 1210 00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:47,600 It'll just be a few minutes. 1211 00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:51,700 Well, that is fantastic, Detective Shep Winford. 1212 00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:54,200 Now why don't you track me down another drink? 1213 00:59:54,100 --> 00:59:56,500 And tell them to put some booze in it this time, yeah? 1214 00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:58,400 Coming right up. 1215 00:59:58,300 --> 01:00:00,200 - Are you sure you want another one? -Yes. 1216 01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:02,100 Maybe a virgin rum and Coke. 1217 01:00:02,100 --> 01:00:05,100 - That would just be Coke. - That sounds delicious. 1218 01:00:05,300 --> 01:00:06,900 What's up, noodle dicks? 1219 01:00:06,900 --> 01:00:09,900 That table over there just ordered 2 rounds of premium tequila. 1220 01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:11,300 Now are y'all just gonna sit here 1221 01:00:11,300 --> 01:00:13,400 while they make you look like a bunch of fucking pussies? 1222 01:00:13,300 --> 01:00:15,700 Hell no, dude. We'll take 3 rounds. 1223 01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:17,000 Shit yeah! What are y'all, Phi Taus? 1224 01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,600 - Phi Taus! - Come on now, give it to me. 1225 01:00:19,500 --> 01:00:21,300 - Give it to me good. - Let's take him down. 1226 01:00:21,300 --> 01:00:24,800 - I know where he keeps his meds. -Yeah. 1227 01:00:24,700 --> 01:00:27,000 I want some booze in my belly. 1228 01:00:26,900 --> 01:00:28,700 Yeah, baby! 1229 01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:31,400 Fidel, this is for a pissed-off movie star, so give it some balls. 1230 01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:34,300 Yeah. Do it. 1231 01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:37,200 Go and go. That's what I'm talking about. 1232 01:00:37,100 --> 01:00:38,900 Hola, diablo blancos. 1233 01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:41,200 Zongo like vodka. 1234 01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:43,600 Hey. hey, you doing okay, Zongo? 1235 01:00:44,500 --> 01:00:46,300 Hello, Zongo. 1236 01:00:46,300 --> 01:00:48,000 You've got to take it, Zongo. 1237 01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:50,600 Nobody puts Zongo in a cage. 1238 01:00:50,500 --> 01:00:54,100 No one's trying to put Zongo in a cage, Zongo. 1239 01:00:54,100 --> 01:00:57,000 Okay. I'll take it. 1240 01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:59,500 - It's so big! - Get him! 1241 01:01:04,900 --> 01:01:07,300 Zongo, calm down. 1242 01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:21,200 What the fuck? 1243 01:01:21,200 --> 01:01:23,500 Hey, Mr. Lobo. 1244 01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:26,000 - Men's room? - Just down the hall. 1245 01:01:25,900 --> 01:01:28,600 Miami. 1246 01:01:28,500 --> 01:01:30,600 Open. There. 1247 01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:33,400 Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. 1248 01:01:33,300 --> 01:01:35,600 Easy. Easy, Zongo. Easy. 1249 01:01:35,900 --> 01:01:38,100 Easy. That's good. 1250 01:01:38,100 --> 01:01:40,800 - That's good. - Get him up. 1251 01:01:44,300 --> 01:01:46,500 Hey, you look better. 1252 01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:48,000 Yeah, I'm better now. 1253 01:01:48,100 --> 01:01:50,800 I am gonna win this thing, face or no face. 1254 01:01:50,700 --> 01:01:53,900 Got a birthday table and I've got 'em in the palm of my hand. 1255 01:01:53,900 --> 01:01:56,900 - So you want to sing with me? -Yes, I do. 1256 01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:59,400 Get your poop in a group. 1257 01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:05,100 - Any second now. - Believe it when I see it. 1258 01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:13,100 Sorry. 1259 01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:17,700 Shit. 1260 01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:19,400 Connor, hey. 1261 01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:21,600 Mr. Lobo, I just need a minute of your time 1262 01:02:21,500 --> 01:02:23,000 to talk about why you fired me. 1263 01:02:23,100 --> 01:02:26,600 Connor, please. I don't know what you're taking about. 1264 01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:28,700 It's okay, I understand. 1265 01:02:28,700 --> 01:02:30,600 I mean, you cast me to play a big-nosed cop 1266 01:02:30,500 --> 01:02:32,800 and I got a nose job. It was stupid. 1267 01:02:32,700 --> 01:02:34,700 I didn't even know you had a nose job. 1268 01:02:34,700 --> 01:02:36,700 Looks pretty good though. Turn your head that way. 1269 01:02:36,600 --> 01:02:38,600 Yeah. Who's your doctor? 1270 01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:40,900 I've got a 12-year old daughter with a fucking beak. 1271 01:02:40,900 --> 01:02:43,700 She's got bean bag tits and a big caboose too. 1272 01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:45,900 That poor girl's gonna have a hard road ahead. 1273 01:02:45,900 --> 01:02:47,800 Mr. Lobo, I know I made a mistake. 1274 01:02:47,700 --> 01:02:50,800 Look, kid, I didn't fire you for having a small nose. 1275 01:02:50,700 --> 01:02:53,700 Mr. Lobo, I am not gonna turn you in to the nose police. 1276 01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:55,500 You kill me, man. 1277 01:02:55,500 --> 01:02:58,400 It was hard growing up with that nose. 1278 01:02:58,300 --> 01:03:01,300 You are a real fucking moron, you know that? 1279 01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:03,900 - What? -You read the script, didn't you, shithead? 1280 01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:07,300 It's all nose jokes. "I've been nosing around. I smell a rat." 1281 01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:09,500 And then you show up with that little cat nose. 1282 01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:11,200 Doesn't make any sense. 1283 01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:13,700 Do you realize how hard it is to rewrite an entire season? 1284 01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:16,400 - No, sir. -You were a kid with a big nose. 1285 01:03:16,300 --> 01:03:18,500 You got on TV but you fucked it up. 1286 01:03:18,500 --> 01:03:21,400 You. Who? You fucked it up. 1287 01:03:23,100 --> 01:03:25,600 Look, Mr. Lobo, I found out about this place 1288 01:03:25,500 --> 01:03:27,800 that does nose enlargements. 1289 01:03:27,700 --> 01:03:31,200 And if all goes well I could actually have the money to do it by tomorrow. 1290 01:03:32,500 --> 01:03:36,500 The new honker is gonna be a goddamn fire hose. 1291 01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:38,000 What are we supposed to do? 1292 01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:42,500 Bring back Detective Shep Winford from the dead with a big nose? 1293 01:03:42,300 --> 01:03:44,200 This isn't fucking "X Files." 1294 01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:49,300 Goodbye. 1295 01:03:51,100 --> 01:03:54,800 So you didn't donkey punch Morgan Fairchild. 1296 01:03:55,100 --> 01:03:56,900 Jesus Christ. 1297 01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:10,900 Hey, wasn't I in last place an hour ago? 1298 01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:12,300 Yes, you were. 1299 01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:15,200 - Was Zongo here? - Zongo was here all right. 1300 01:04:15,100 --> 01:04:17,600 Sold 18 entrees to a party of 6. 1301 01:04:17,500 --> 01:04:20,000 I don't remember any of that. 1302 01:04:19,900 --> 01:04:21,300 Not even the Champ offering 10 grand? 1303 01:04:21,200 --> 01:04:24,200 - 10 grand for what? - Top seller. 1304 01:04:29,300 --> 01:04:32,400 Fucking dodo bird. 1305 01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:52,000 Nuts? 1306 01:04:52,700 --> 01:04:54,800 Are you okay? 1307 01:04:54,700 --> 01:04:58,100 I am Zongo. 1308 01:04:59,700 --> 01:05:01,700 I am still going to win this contest 1309 01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:04,100 because I can hold it together under pressure. 1310 01:05:04,100 --> 01:05:06,700 Welcome to the Slammin' Salmon. 1311 01:05:06,600 --> 01:05:08,500 Be graceful and amazing 1312 01:05:08,500 --> 01:05:10,500 'cause that's what I am. 1313 01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:14,400 Donnie? 1314 01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:18,000 Who the fuck is Donnie? 1315 01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:20,600 I'm Donnie, Mr. Salmon. 1316 01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:23,100 Good try, Dave. 1317 01:05:24,100 --> 01:05:26,500 No, I'm Dave's twin brother. 1318 01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:28,900 And you know what? Another thing, 1319 01:05:28,900 --> 01:05:31,200 I don't care how severe her peanut allergy is. 1320 01:05:32,700 --> 01:05:35,300 Did anybody ever tell you you guys look exactly alike? 1321 01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:36,800 Every day. 1322 01:05:36,800 --> 01:05:39,200 Is that why you wear the blue lipstick? 1323 01:05:39,100 --> 01:05:41,400 Either way, I hope you like hospital food. 1324 01:05:41,300 --> 01:05:44,700 No, I was recently a busboy. 1325 01:05:44,500 --> 01:05:47,200 - I wasn't a part of this thing. -Yeah, you know what? 1326 01:05:47,100 --> 01:05:50,500 Excuses are like assholes. Everybody's got one, 1327 01:05:50,500 --> 01:05:52,700 but don't nobody want to admit it. 1328 01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:56,100 Now get your ass out of last place 1329 01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:59,100 or I'm gonna use your spine for a jump rope. 1330 01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:04,100 What the fuck? 1331 01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:08,300 I'd still hit that. 1332 01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:15,500 - I got it. - Nice. 1333 01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:19,800 Dude, where's the South African Bing diamond? 1334 01:06:22,200 --> 01:06:23,900 Shit! 1335 01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:29,900 Ladies, hello and welcome to the Slammin' Salmon tonight. 1336 01:06:29,800 --> 01:06:33,400 Let me tell you about some of the more delicious things on our menu. 1337 01:06:33,700 --> 01:06:36,200 We have a boneless fillet of... 1338 01:06:38,500 --> 01:06:41,400 champion-- 1339 01:06:41,400 --> 01:06:44,600 also a very nice black eye-- 1340 01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:50,100 sock-eyed salmon. It's very nice. 1341 01:06:52,300 --> 01:06:54,200 It's saut�ed... 1342 01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:56,100 heartbeat... 1343 01:06:58,100 --> 01:07:00,100 He's watching me. 1344 01:07:16,100 --> 01:07:19,600 Little story for you, Dave II, before you get back to work. 1345 01:07:19,500 --> 01:07:23,000 When I was training for the Dispute in Beirut, 1346 01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:26,500 I used to run 10 miles a day with a baby camel strapped to my back. 1347 01:07:28,600 --> 01:07:31,200 So you can understand how bemusing I find it 1348 01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:32,900 that you're trying to run away from me. 1349 01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:34,200 I was... 1350 01:07:34,900 --> 01:07:37,600 Don't run. Just take it. 1351 01:07:41,900 --> 01:07:43,700 Okay, here we go. Here we go. 1352 01:07:43,700 --> 01:07:45,800 Here's to "CFI Hotlanta" 1353 01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:48,900 and its record 15 Emmy Award nominations. 1354 01:07:48,700 --> 01:07:50,400 -Yay. - Hear hear. 1355 01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:54,600 Connor. 1356 01:07:54,500 --> 01:07:56,400 Come here. Come here a second. 1357 01:07:56,300 --> 01:07:59,200 Come here. Come here. 1358 01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:03,700 Hey, buddy, we couldn't have done it without you, man. 1359 01:08:03,600 --> 01:08:05,800 - Hear hear. - Hear hear. 1360 01:08:05,800 --> 01:08:07,600 Thanks a million. 1361 01:08:07,500 --> 01:08:10,100 Connor, have you met our newest cast member? 1362 01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:11,500 This is Steve Lemmaduche. 1363 01:08:13,100 --> 01:08:14,800 Hey, buddy. What's crackin'? 1364 01:08:14,700 --> 01:08:16,800 Call me Duche. 1365 01:08:18,300 --> 01:08:20,800 Hey, what are those guys eating over there? 1366 01:08:20,700 --> 01:08:23,800 Over there? That's the salmon. 1367 01:08:25,700 --> 01:08:27,800 Yeah. That smells beautiful. 1368 01:08:27,700 --> 01:08:29,400 Hustle me out one of those. 1369 01:08:29,300 --> 01:08:31,900 And a chocotini, dry. 1370 01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:33,200 Thanks, pal. 1371 01:08:33,100 --> 01:08:34,600 The Duche. 1372 01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:36,600 Connor. 1373 01:08:36,500 --> 01:08:40,100 Look, I just know you're gonna find another show really soon. 1374 01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:42,100 Thank you, Morgan. 1375 01:08:42,100 --> 01:08:46,200 And that being said, I also know that I ordered my ahi tuna seared, 1376 01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:48,500 and, baby, this is not seared. 1377 01:08:48,500 --> 01:08:51,600 I'll get that right back to you. 1378 01:08:51,500 --> 01:08:53,500 Thank you. 1379 01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:04,700 Donnie? What are you doing? 1380 01:09:06,900 --> 01:09:08,200 Are you crying? 1381 01:09:08,100 --> 01:09:10,100 No. 1382 01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:14,200 What is that? It's not coming off. 1383 01:09:14,200 --> 01:09:16,100 The Champ is gonna kill me. 1384 01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,100 There's no way I can get out of last place. 1385 01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:19,800 Donnie, he's not gonna kill you. 1386 01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:22,900 Didn't you hear? Last place is a broken rib sandwich. 1387 01:09:22,700 --> 01:09:26,100 You see? Breaking your ribs won't kill you. 1388 01:09:27,900 --> 01:09:30,900 Okay, Look, Donnie, why don't you take one of my tables? 1389 01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:32,800 The McNaultys. They're great tippers 1390 01:09:32,700 --> 01:09:35,300 and they've got a huge check. My gift to you. 1391 01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:37,200 Shut up. You need that money for school. 1392 01:09:37,100 --> 01:09:39,700 Nutella's check is over $1,000. 1393 01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:41,900 Once I close her out, I'm gonna shoot past everyone. 1394 01:09:41,900 --> 01:09:43,900 Take the table. 1395 01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,300 - Really? -Yeah. 1396 01:09:46,300 --> 01:09:49,700 - How would I pay you back? - I don't know. 1397 01:09:49,600 --> 01:09:52,900 Take me out for a broken rib sandwich sometime. 1398 01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:55,200 Help me up. 1399 01:09:55,200 --> 01:09:56,800 Come on, you lush. 1400 01:10:01,600 --> 01:10:03,900 Welcome to the Slammin' Salmon. 1401 01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:05,400 My name is Zongo. 1402 01:10:05,300 --> 01:10:07,900 How is everyone feline this evening? 1403 01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:12,700 The '62 salmon is "purrfect." 1404 01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:14,900 Would anybody like to try? 1405 01:10:16,200 --> 01:10:18,700 Yes. Everybody take a sip. 1406 01:10:19,200 --> 01:10:20,700 Delicious. 1407 01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:23,700 How about you, ma'am? How does that taste? 1408 01:10:23,700 --> 01:10:26,200 How does that taste? How does that taste? 1409 01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:27,800 How does that taste? 1410 01:10:27,700 --> 01:10:30,200 How does that taste? How does that taste? 1411 01:10:30,100 --> 01:10:32,600 How does that taste? How does it taste? 1412 01:10:32,500 --> 01:10:34,600 How does it taste? How does that taste? 1413 01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:36,400 How does it taste? 1414 01:10:44,900 --> 01:10:48,400 Definitely the hardest substance known to man. 1415 01:10:51,300 --> 01:10:53,100 So good. 1416 01:11:04,500 --> 01:11:06,000 My God. 1417 01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:08,900 - I love it. - I'm glad you like it. 1418 01:11:08,800 --> 01:11:10,500 Yes. 1419 01:11:10,500 --> 01:11:12,600 Yes, I'll marry you. 1420 01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:21,500 - I love you so much. - I love you too, baby. 1421 01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:23,400 - Tara, Tara, Tara. - What? 1422 01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:24,800 Can you go check on Nuts, please? 1423 01:11:24,700 --> 01:11:26,200 Why do I have to do it? Rich, I'm slammed. 1424 01:11:26,200 --> 01:11:27,600 'Cause you're a doctor, come on. 1425 01:11:27,700 --> 01:11:29,900 I'm not even close to being a doctor. I'm a second-year med student. 1426 01:11:29,900 --> 01:11:31,500 I'm making half of this shit up. 1427 01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:33,400 Come on, isn't it part of your Hippocrastic Oath? 1428 01:11:33,400 --> 01:11:36,200 Hippo what? Look, don't put this on me, okay? 1429 01:11:36,100 --> 01:11:38,300 He got punched out by that gigantic mongoloid 1430 01:11:38,200 --> 01:11:40,100 because you denied him his medication. 1431 01:11:40,100 --> 01:11:43,500 You sold him out just like you sold out Mia and that poor kid Donnie. 1432 01:11:43,300 --> 01:11:45,700 And all because you're afraid of Cleon. 1433 01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:47,800 God, you're a real spineless pussy, Rich. 1434 01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:53,000 Hey, 3 of them. 1435 01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:54,500 Jesus. 1436 01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:56,300 Look at these babies. 1437 01:11:56,300 --> 01:11:59,500 - Honey, hi. - Hey. 1438 01:11:59,400 --> 01:12:00,700 What are you doing here? 1439 01:12:00,700 --> 01:12:03,700 Well, the kids couldn't sleep so I thought we'd pop in and say hi. 1440 01:12:03,600 --> 01:12:06,500 Mrs. Rich Parente in the house. 1441 01:12:06,300 --> 01:12:07,700 - Hey, Champ. - Hey. 1442 01:12:09,100 --> 01:12:10,700 Cleon. 1443 01:12:10,600 --> 01:12:13,600 I don't mean to be mean, but, baby, you need some Listerine. 1444 01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:18,200 That's my little sister. Always tells it like it is. 1445 01:12:18,700 --> 01:12:20,700 Look at the little babies. 1446 01:12:20,700 --> 01:12:22,900 Hey, it's Uncle Cleon. 1447 01:12:22,900 --> 01:12:25,100 Damn, they all look the same. 1448 01:12:25,100 --> 01:12:27,700 What'd you do, fuck a Xerox machine? 1449 01:12:27,700 --> 01:12:30,300 Watch your goddamn mouth in front of my kids. 1450 01:12:30,200 --> 01:12:32,500 - It's Uncle Cleon. Watch it. - No, no, not too close. 1451 01:12:32,400 --> 01:12:35,000 - Okay, easy now. Okay. - Keep your guard up. 1452 01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:38,000 How the hell did you wind up with the Champ's sister? 1453 01:12:37,900 --> 01:12:40,200 Well, believe it or not, 1454 01:12:40,100 --> 01:12:42,500 the Champ introduced us and we fell in love 1455 01:12:42,400 --> 01:12:45,900 and had these babies. And here we are. 1456 01:12:45,700 --> 01:12:49,200 When I first was made aware of Richardo here, 1457 01:12:49,100 --> 01:12:51,700 he cracked his head open running out of my office. 1458 01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:54,000 And I thought right away, this guy 1459 01:12:53,900 --> 01:12:55,700 is such a pussy. 1460 01:12:56,500 --> 01:12:58,600 I knew he was such a pussy 1461 01:12:58,500 --> 01:13:01,300 that he would never ever cheat on my sister. 1462 01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:03,100 No, I'm serious. 1463 01:13:03,100 --> 01:13:05,300 You want to know what my nick name for him was? 1464 01:13:05,200 --> 01:13:07,700 Cunty McTwat. 1465 01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:09,300 'Cause he was such a pussy. 1466 01:13:11,800 --> 01:13:14,900 Why isn't anybody laughing? 1467 01:13:14,800 --> 01:13:17,300 - That's amazing. - Hey, babies, yes. 1468 01:13:17,200 --> 01:13:19,100 The middle one has your head. 1469 01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:20,400 Don't touch-- No, no, no. Okay. 1470 01:13:22,500 --> 01:13:24,300 Okay, we've got some movement, you guys. 1471 01:13:26,500 --> 01:13:28,400 This is bullshit! 1472 01:13:28,400 --> 01:13:31,800 You gave Donnie all of Nuts's huge tables. 1473 01:13:31,700 --> 01:13:33,100 Guy, it's anyone's game still, all right? 1474 01:13:33,100 --> 01:13:35,400 There's only 250 bucks separating first and last. 1475 01:13:35,300 --> 01:13:37,300 - It's anyone's game. - That's awesome. 1476 01:13:37,200 --> 01:13:39,000 You better not be lying, 'cause I will cut you. 1477 01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:41,500 All right, one hour left. Go get 'em, guys, all right? 1478 01:13:41,500 --> 01:13:43,900 - Okay okay. - Mia Mia Mia. 1479 01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:45,600 I just sat the last table. You got 'em. 1480 01:13:45,500 --> 01:13:49,000 It's the Miami Dolphin's offensive line and they're starving. 1481 01:13:48,900 --> 01:13:52,200 Good luck. Sorry, but, you know... 1482 01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:53,700 This is so not over. 1483 01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:57,200 -You're gonna burn, baby. - I'm not losing this thing. 1484 01:13:57,100 --> 01:13:58,600 I'm not losing this thing. 1485 01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:01,300 All right, if you ladies are like me, 1486 01:14:01,200 --> 01:14:03,000 you can eat a shitload of lobster. 1487 01:14:02,900 --> 01:14:05,900 I am not leaving until you people are heaving. 1488 01:14:05,900 --> 01:14:08,900 So that's 4 orders of the Alaskan king crab legs. 1489 01:14:10,200 --> 01:14:12,900 Eat it, fuck nut. 1490 01:14:17,100 --> 01:14:18,800 Hey, how are you? 1491 01:14:18,800 --> 01:14:21,100 I couldn't help but overhear you ordered the king crab. 1492 01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:24,100 Well, we came in here dead set on the San Francisco cioppino, 1493 01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:28,000 but that young lad made those king crab legs sound irresistible. 1494 01:14:27,800 --> 01:14:30,100 It's just that you look like good people. 1495 01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:33,000 And the chef asked us not to sell the king crab 1496 01:14:32,900 --> 01:14:36,300 because it's a week old. 1497 01:14:36,200 --> 01:14:39,800 Why would that waiter recommend something that's turned? 1498 01:14:39,700 --> 01:14:42,000 It's one of the most expensive items on the menu. 1499 01:14:41,900 --> 01:14:45,400 You can figure it out. But please, you didn't hear it from me. 1500 01:14:45,200 --> 01:14:48,000 My name is Guy. 1501 01:14:47,900 --> 01:14:51,100 I like him more. That's the man I trust. 1502 01:14:53,600 --> 01:14:57,500 Hi, guys. Welcome to the Slammin' Salmon. 1503 01:14:57,300 --> 01:14:59,600 My name is Mia and I'll be your waitress. 1504 01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:02,100 I apologize for my appearance, 1505 01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:04,400 but I was in an explosion. 1506 01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:06,100 Is this like Make a Wish Foundation? 1507 01:15:06,100 --> 01:15:08,100 Yes, definitely. 1508 01:15:08,100 --> 01:15:09,800 That's great. 1509 01:15:09,700 --> 01:15:13,200 What a brave lady. I mean, showing your face in public like this. 1510 01:15:13,100 --> 01:15:14,800 - Thank you. - Tell you what, Mia, 1511 01:15:14,900 --> 01:15:18,100 we're starving, so would you start us off with some appetizers? 1512 01:15:17,900 --> 01:15:20,100 Of course. 1513 01:15:20,200 --> 01:15:22,700 We'll take 2 t-bone steaks. 2 each. 1514 01:15:22,500 --> 01:15:25,300 - 2 each. - Okay. 1515 01:15:25,200 --> 01:15:27,100 Put some calamari on there. 1516 01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:29,600 Good luck on your nose job. 1517 01:15:29,500 --> 01:15:31,100 Thank you, Mr. Lobo. 1518 01:15:31,000 --> 01:15:32,600 Give me a call when the bandages come off. 1519 01:15:32,500 --> 01:15:35,500 - Okay. - We're doing "CFI Greektown." 1520 01:15:35,400 --> 01:15:39,000 You might be right for Detective Stavros Popadropolis. 1521 01:15:38,900 --> 01:15:41,400 - Okay. - Feel like I'm gonna give birth. 1522 01:15:41,200 --> 01:15:42,700 Thank you, Mr. Lobo. 1523 01:15:42,700 --> 01:15:45,900 Thank you, Connor. It's so good to see you again. 1524 01:15:45,800 --> 01:15:47,500 Great to see you too, Morgan. You look terrific. 1525 01:15:47,500 --> 01:15:50,700 - Thank you. - Hey, man, you're a hell of a waiter. 1526 01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:53,600 Don't quit your day job. Boop. 1527 01:15:53,500 --> 01:15:56,000 Get lost. 1528 01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:59,400 Enjoy not winning 10 grand, sucker. 1529 01:15:59,700 --> 01:16:01,700 Honey, that's so cute. 1530 01:16:01,600 --> 01:16:05,600 But I still have Nutella and, whew, it is a huge check. 1531 01:16:05,400 --> 01:16:07,700 Don't worry though. When I'm done with school 1532 01:16:07,600 --> 01:16:10,100 I'll fix your nose for free. Any shape you want, okay? 1533 01:16:10,100 --> 01:16:12,500 Button nose, cute little clown nose. 1534 01:16:12,900 --> 01:16:15,200 A brown nose. That works well for you. 1535 01:16:20,400 --> 01:16:24,800 And I came in here dead set on the San Francisco cioppino. 1536 01:16:24,600 --> 01:16:26,600 I'm very sorry, sir. We will change your order right away. 1537 01:16:26,600 --> 01:16:28,300 - And Guy will be your waiter. - What? 1538 01:16:28,200 --> 01:16:30,900 Donnie, the table is Guy's now. 1539 01:16:30,800 --> 01:16:33,000 No, no, no. No, it was-- 1540 01:16:33,000 --> 01:16:35,800 - See? I can step up to the plate. - Finally. 1541 01:16:38,600 --> 01:16:41,600 Some pitchers of beer, that bucket of jumbo shrimp, 1542 01:16:41,500 --> 01:16:43,200 that spinach artichoke dip, 1543 01:16:43,100 --> 01:16:45,600 and of course that 8-lb lobster you were talking about. 1544 01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:47,700 -Yes. - And that should do it. 1545 01:16:47,600 --> 01:16:49,600 Okay. 1546 01:16:49,900 --> 01:16:51,500 Baby girl, what's wrong? 1547 01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:54,200 It's just you guys are so nice. 1548 01:16:54,100 --> 01:16:56,900 And this is my biggest check ever. 1549 01:16:56,800 --> 01:16:59,600 I just really needed this. 1550 01:16:59,500 --> 01:17:01,700 And you're the nicest waitress we've ever had. 1551 01:17:01,600 --> 01:17:05,100 You know, Mia, I know you were pretty once. 1552 01:17:05,000 --> 01:17:07,000 Thank you. 1553 01:17:17,300 --> 01:17:19,100 That's disgusting. 1554 01:17:21,100 --> 01:17:23,000 I'm gonna be sick. 1555 01:17:33,000 --> 01:17:34,700 I just wanna win. 1556 01:17:38,100 --> 01:17:40,400 And, word to your mother. 1557 01:17:40,300 --> 01:17:41,800 All right, girl. 1558 01:17:49,200 --> 01:17:52,000 Nutella, I'm sorry. This isn't the check that I gave you. 1559 01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:54,900 Yeah it is. Champ comped us. 1560 01:17:54,700 --> 01:17:57,900 I throw a little knee right there. 1561 01:17:57,800 --> 01:18:00,700 It bends him down. Bam! 1562 01:18:02,100 --> 01:18:05,200 Well, were you dissatisfied with the service? 1563 01:18:05,100 --> 01:18:07,800 -You didn't leave a tip. - Do the math. 1564 01:18:07,700 --> 01:18:10,500 20% of nothing is nothing. 1565 01:18:10,400 --> 01:18:12,800 Come on, y'all. We outie. 1566 01:18:22,500 --> 01:18:24,400 Shit. 1567 01:18:52,900 --> 01:18:54,600 Here you go. I didn't want to interrupt. 1568 01:18:54,500 --> 01:18:55,800 Thank you. 1569 01:18:55,800 --> 01:18:57,800 Have you read this? 1570 01:18:57,800 --> 01:18:59,600 No. I can't say that I have. 1571 01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:02,400 I did not know anything, 1572 01:19:02,300 --> 01:19:04,500 anything at all till now. 1573 01:19:07,300 --> 01:19:09,900 You remind me of a young Andrew Bolkonski. 1574 01:19:10,500 --> 01:19:12,500 Thank you. 1575 01:19:12,500 --> 01:19:13,900 No, thank you. 1576 01:19:13,900 --> 01:19:15,500 Thank you. 1577 01:19:27,800 --> 01:19:29,700 I'm sorry, sir. I think you made a mistake. 1578 01:19:29,600 --> 01:19:31,600 I can't take that much money. 1579 01:19:31,500 --> 01:19:34,500 I didn't make a mistake. What's your name? 1580 01:19:34,400 --> 01:19:36,600 Donald Kanogi. 1581 01:19:36,500 --> 01:19:39,000 I'm dying, Donald Kanogi. 1582 01:19:40,200 --> 01:19:43,500 My doctor told me I have a month to live. 1583 01:19:43,400 --> 01:19:47,100 Have you ever heard of schistophosiasis? 1584 01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:48,700 No, I haven't. 1585 01:19:48,700 --> 01:19:50,300 Well, I've got it. 1586 01:19:50,200 --> 01:19:52,500 - I've got it hard. - my God. 1587 01:19:52,500 --> 01:19:55,700 All I wanted to do tonight was to sit quietly, 1588 01:19:55,600 --> 01:19:57,700 have a nice meal, 1589 01:19:57,600 --> 01:20:00,000 read a little Russian pre-existentialism. 1590 01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:03,300 It was pretty crowded, but unlike the other waiter, 1591 01:20:03,200 --> 01:20:06,200 you were content to let me sit here nonetheless. 1592 01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:08,300 And I thank you for that. 1593 01:20:09,400 --> 01:20:11,300 But, sir... 1594 01:20:11,200 --> 01:20:13,500 No, young man, 1595 01:20:13,400 --> 01:20:15,700 you can't take it with you. 1596 01:20:15,600 --> 01:20:18,300 Now if you'll excuse me, 1597 01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:21,900 I've got a lot of living to do before I die. 1598 01:20:23,300 --> 01:20:24,900 Do svidaniya. 1599 01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:57,700 That poor man. 1600 01:20:57,700 --> 01:21:00,100 You know, it really puts things into perspective. 1601 01:21:00,100 --> 01:21:03,100 Fuck him and the horse that rode over him. 1602 01:21:03,100 --> 01:21:06,600 That's Guy. Big heart, big hair. 1603 01:21:06,500 --> 01:21:09,500 That's me. Throw big dick in there, you got a box trifecta. 1604 01:21:09,300 --> 01:21:12,300 You know what? It's way too late for that kind of chatter. 1605 01:21:12,300 --> 01:21:14,300 - Heyo, I've got the totals. - All right. 1606 01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:16,900 - Who wants to see some results? - I do, I do. 1607 01:21:16,800 --> 01:21:20,100 - Yeah. - Gather round. This is pretty exciting. 1608 01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:22,700 - Gather around, everybody. - All right. 1609 01:21:22,700 --> 01:21:25,200 - I'm excited. - Good. 1610 01:21:25,100 --> 01:21:26,700 - Are you guys ready? -Yes. 1611 01:21:26,600 --> 01:21:29,400 Okay. First, before I start, let me just say 1612 01:21:29,300 --> 01:21:32,100 - I'm really proud of you guys. - Thank you. 1613 01:21:32,100 --> 01:21:34,200 Very proud. I think you did a great job tonight. 1614 01:21:34,200 --> 01:21:36,000 - Thank you. - Here we go. 1615 01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:38,600 In 3rd place... 1616 01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:42,400 - is the waiter... - Jesus Christ. 1617 01:21:42,300 --> 01:21:44,900 - who did a good job tonight... - Say it, you big dog. 1618 01:21:44,800 --> 01:21:48,600 - Come on. - and his name is Nuts. 1619 01:21:48,500 --> 01:21:52,000 - Hey, Nuts. - In the pickle jar, all right. 1620 01:21:51,900 --> 01:21:53,100 - Great. - Okay. 1621 01:21:53,200 --> 01:21:54,500 - Bring it. - Here we go. 1622 01:21:54,400 --> 01:21:57,600 In 2nd place, and runner up, 1623 01:21:57,500 --> 01:22:00,900 is... 1624 01:22:00,700 --> 01:22:02,700 - Come on. - Connor. 1625 01:22:02,700 --> 01:22:04,100 What? Who won? 1626 01:22:04,200 --> 01:22:06,900 Drum roll, please. Drum roll. 1627 01:22:07,300 --> 01:22:09,100 Great, thank you. 1628 01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:12,600 And the winner of the $10,000 prize 1629 01:22:12,500 --> 01:22:14,600 and the big contest 1630 01:22:14,500 --> 01:22:17,900 tonight is... 1631 01:22:18,800 --> 01:22:20,400 Tara. 1632 01:22:20,300 --> 01:22:23,000 - My God! - Honk the goose. 1633 01:22:22,900 --> 01:22:24,900 - What? - My God, I won? 1634 01:22:24,900 --> 01:22:26,400 How is that even possible? 1635 01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:30,300 Well, the guy who got hit by the horse gave her a $1,000 tip. 1636 01:22:30,300 --> 01:22:32,600 I had that table. That's my table. 1637 01:22:33,700 --> 01:22:35,700 Jesus, Donnie. 1638 01:22:35,600 --> 01:22:38,300 You gave me a table, I gave you a table. 1639 01:22:38,300 --> 01:22:42,000 That is the most selfless thing anyone has ever done for me. 1640 01:22:41,900 --> 01:22:43,800 Well, when the Champ kills me, 1641 01:22:43,700 --> 01:22:45,600 just see to it I get a decent burial. 1642 01:22:45,500 --> 01:22:47,500 You're not gonna die. 1643 01:22:47,400 --> 01:22:49,200 I'll give you mouth to mouth. 1644 01:22:49,200 --> 01:22:52,400 Stick a sock in it before I puke. 1645 01:22:53,500 --> 01:22:55,900 Richardo. It's time. 1646 01:22:55,900 --> 01:22:59,600 All right, if you guys will excuse me for one second... 1647 01:22:59,500 --> 01:23:00,800 All right, baby, 1648 01:23:00,800 --> 01:23:03,700 what is the final take? 1649 01:23:03,500 --> 01:23:06,600 Am I sitting in the lap of luxury or what? 1650 01:23:06,500 --> 01:23:08,800 Well, we made... 1651 01:23:08,700 --> 01:23:11,500 $19,017. 1652 01:23:13,100 --> 01:23:15,900 $19,017. 1653 01:23:15,800 --> 01:23:17,200 Pretty good. 1654 01:23:17,200 --> 01:23:20,100 But last time I checked, 1655 01:23:19,900 --> 01:23:23,600 19 is lower than 20, right? 1656 01:23:24,600 --> 01:23:27,300 That makes you a grand short, short shorts. 1657 01:23:28,900 --> 01:23:31,200 What's that? 1658 01:23:31,100 --> 01:23:33,200 - The waiter's tips. - Problem solved. 1659 01:23:33,100 --> 01:23:35,900 I'll just take a grand out of that then. 1660 01:23:35,900 --> 01:23:37,600 No, no, no, hold on. 1661 01:23:37,500 --> 01:23:39,700 Excuse me, Champ. About the 10 grand. 1662 01:23:39,700 --> 01:23:41,800 - Not now, Tara. - The what? 1663 01:23:41,800 --> 01:23:43,100 The $10,000. 1664 01:23:43,300 --> 01:23:45,300 There is no $10,000. 1665 01:23:45,200 --> 01:23:47,900 That was all predicated on an illusion. 1666 01:23:47,800 --> 01:23:49,900 I don't understand. 1667 01:23:49,900 --> 01:23:53,700 Okay, I'll break it down. If I needed to make 20 tonight, 1668 01:23:53,500 --> 01:23:57,200 why would I give away 10? That makes no sense. 1669 01:23:57,100 --> 01:23:59,000 Right, Rich? 1670 01:23:58,900 --> 01:24:01,000 Right. 1671 01:24:00,900 --> 01:24:02,300 Thank you. 1672 01:24:02,200 --> 01:24:04,100 Adieu. 1673 01:24:10,000 --> 01:24:12,800 Champ. 1674 01:24:14,600 --> 01:24:16,800 This money belongs to the waiters. 1675 01:24:16,700 --> 01:24:18,700 And you owe Tara $10,000. 1676 01:24:20,100 --> 01:24:22,700 What the hell is wrong with you, Richardo? 1677 01:24:22,600 --> 01:24:25,200 You offered a prize and now you owe her. 1678 01:24:25,200 --> 01:24:28,000 You want to make something of it? 1679 01:24:31,200 --> 01:24:33,200 Yeah, I do. 1680 01:24:33,100 --> 01:24:36,100 Just do what you promised, you motherfucker. 1681 01:24:36,400 --> 01:24:38,300 What? 1682 01:24:39,900 --> 01:24:42,200 Well well well, 1683 01:24:42,100 --> 01:24:44,500 looks like somebody's little acorns 1684 01:24:44,400 --> 01:24:46,300 done grew into big nuts. 1685 01:24:46,300 --> 01:24:48,700 You're finally acting like a man. 1686 01:24:48,600 --> 01:24:50,800 But you're too little too late. 1687 01:24:50,700 --> 01:24:53,000 I still got to pay the Yakuza 1688 01:24:52,900 --> 01:24:54,800 20,000 yen. 1689 01:24:54,700 --> 01:24:57,400 Wait, yen or dollars? 1690 01:24:57,300 --> 01:24:59,500 Same thing, stupid. 1691 01:24:59,400 --> 01:25:01,700 Yen is Japanese for dollars. 1692 01:25:03,700 --> 01:25:05,600 Actually, Champ, 20,000 yen 1693 01:25:05,500 --> 01:25:09,000 is about 170 American dollars. 1694 01:25:08,900 --> 01:25:11,800 Ah-so. 1695 01:25:12,700 --> 01:25:16,000 In circumspeculation that makes sense. 1696 01:25:16,000 --> 01:25:18,700 When I was in the Orient I used to wonder to myself 1697 01:25:18,600 --> 01:25:21,000 why is everything so small 1698 01:25:20,900 --> 01:25:24,100 yet so expensive? 1699 01:25:24,000 --> 01:25:25,900 Good work, Dr. Doolittle. 1700 01:25:26,700 --> 01:25:29,000 170 for me. 1701 01:25:28,900 --> 01:25:30,700 10 grand for you. 1702 01:25:32,500 --> 01:25:34,600 What do you think I should do with the rest of it? 1703 01:25:34,600 --> 01:25:36,300 I think you should give it to the waiters. 1704 01:25:36,200 --> 01:25:39,300 - I think they earned it. - Yeah, I guess so. 1705 01:25:39,200 --> 01:25:42,800 I was wrong to think they could be replaced by robots. 1706 01:25:43,000 --> 01:25:45,000 Nice one, Rich. 1707 01:25:45,000 --> 01:25:47,300 Feed, my pretties, feed. 1708 01:25:49,700 --> 01:25:51,500 My God! 1709 01:25:59,200 --> 01:26:00,800 Money money money! 1710 01:26:01,400 --> 01:26:02,800 God. 1711 01:26:03,700 --> 01:26:05,200 Rich. 1712 01:26:05,100 --> 01:26:08,000 - That was legendary. - Thank you. 1713 01:26:14,000 --> 01:26:17,600 Well, I guess I should thank you properly for what you did. 1714 01:26:20,900 --> 01:26:22,300 Aw! 1715 01:26:22,300 --> 01:26:24,100 That's so nice. 1716 01:26:26,700 --> 01:26:32,500 Subtitles: Arigon 1717 01:26:53,400 --> 01:26:54,800 Just-- 1718 01:26:54,900 --> 01:26:56,100 Okay. 1719 01:26:57,400 --> 01:27:00,600 Okay okay, what the fuck, Donnie? 1720 01:27:00,400 --> 01:27:02,000 You see that, Donnie? 1721 01:27:02,000 --> 01:27:04,300 That's how you kiss a girl, you fucking fruit cake. 1722 01:27:05,500 --> 01:27:07,400 I hate you. 1723 01:27:09,800 --> 01:27:11,300 God. 1724 01:27:11,400 --> 01:27:13,400 It tastes like tartar sauce. 1725 01:27:13,300 --> 01:27:15,300 Wait wait wait wait. Hold on. 1726 01:27:15,200 --> 01:27:17,500 I almost forgot. 1727 01:27:17,400 --> 01:27:21,000 I still got to kick the shit out of the low man. 1728 01:27:21,500 --> 01:27:23,400 Is he fucking serious? 1729 01:27:23,400 --> 01:27:24,700 God. 1730 01:27:27,900 --> 01:27:30,500 Why are you hitting yourself? 1731 01:27:30,500 --> 01:27:32,500 Why are you hitting yourself? 1732 01:27:32,600 --> 01:27:35,700 Why are you hitting yourself? Have you gone crazy? 1733 01:27:35,500 --> 01:27:37,000 Are you crazy, man? 1734 01:27:37,000 --> 01:27:38,900 All right, come on. Let's get this over with. 1735 01:27:38,800 --> 01:27:40,900 I've got to get home and watch "Dancing with the Stars." 1736 01:27:40,800 --> 01:27:42,500 Nick Lachey is doing the jitterbug. 1737 01:27:42,400 --> 01:27:43,700 He's good. Have you ever seen him? 1738 01:27:43,700 --> 01:27:45,300 - No, no. -You've got your guards up. 1739 01:27:45,300 --> 01:27:47,100 -You want to fight? -You're just kidding, right, Champ? 1740 01:27:47,000 --> 01:27:50,200 Don't be so scared. You should learn to control your fears. 1741 01:27:50,200 --> 01:27:52,300 Take me for instance. I'm afraid of the dark. 1742 01:27:52,200 --> 01:27:54,500 But you'd never know it 'cause I have mental discipline. 1743 01:27:54,400 --> 01:27:57,000 You know what I'm saying? I don't even use a nightlight no more. 1744 01:27:56,900 --> 01:27:59,600 - Okay, okay. - What's up? 1745 01:27:59,600 --> 01:28:01,300 What? What's up? What's up? 1746 01:28:01,200 --> 01:28:05,300 * It's the cry of the cougar, the fist to the face 1747 01:28:05,200 --> 01:28:09,400 * No pride or glory for the loser 1748 01:28:09,200 --> 01:28:12,900 * There's blood and broken teeth all over the place 1749 01:28:12,700 --> 01:28:14,600 * And the last thing you'll hear 1750 01:28:14,700 --> 01:28:18,600 * Is the cry of the cougar 1751 01:28:20,900 --> 01:28:22,800 * Lock your doors 1752 01:28:22,800 --> 01:28:25,500 * Get off the streets, I'm on the prowl 1753 01:28:25,500 --> 01:28:28,400 * I'm telling you I'm on the hunt now 1754 01:28:28,300 --> 01:28:30,500 * Don't try to stop me 1755 01:28:30,400 --> 01:28:35,000 * I smell raw meat and I ain't had shit to eat for 6 days 1756 01:28:36,100 --> 01:28:39,500 * Who wants a piece? Who wants a shot? 1757 01:28:39,400 --> 01:28:44,100 * Who wants a long and brutal bloody painful smackdown? 1758 01:28:43,900 --> 01:28:47,300 *You in the glasses, I'm talking to you 1759 01:28:47,200 --> 01:28:50,600 * How'd you like my foot up your ass? 1760 01:28:52,700 --> 01:28:54,600 * It's the cry of the cougar 1761 01:28:54,600 --> 01:28:56,400 * The fist to the face 1762 01:28:56,300 --> 01:29:01,000 * I'm gonna shoot you with my Luger 1763 01:29:00,800 --> 01:29:04,100 * There's blood and broken teeth all over the place 1764 01:29:03,900 --> 01:29:05,800 * And the last thing you'll hear 1765 01:29:05,900 --> 01:29:09,800 * Is the cry of the cougar 1766 01:29:16,300 --> 01:29:18,200 * I've got the speed 1767 01:29:18,100 --> 01:29:20,000 * I've got the book 1768 01:29:20,000 --> 01:29:22,000 * I'm lean and mean and swift and tough 1769 01:29:21,900 --> 01:29:23,900 * And big and fast, yeah 1770 01:29:23,900 --> 01:29:25,800 * It's like if a ninja man 1771 01:29:25,700 --> 01:29:27,200 * Had sex with the Hulk 1772 01:29:27,300 --> 01:29:30,900 * And gave birth to some kind of crazy ninja Hulk 1773 01:29:30,700 --> 01:29:32,900 * It's the cry of the cougar 1774 01:29:32,900 --> 01:29:35,100 * The fist to the face 1775 01:29:35,100 --> 01:29:39,200 * I'll slash you up like Freddy Krueger 1776 01:29:39,100 --> 01:29:42,600 * There's blood and broken teeth all over the place 1777 01:29:42,500 --> 01:29:45,900 * When your mom finds your body she'll cry 1778 01:29:45,800 --> 01:29:49,100 * The cry of the cougar 1779 01:29:51,200 --> 01:29:55,000 * Cry, cougar, cry. 1780 01:29:56,000 --> 01:29:57,700 What's up, noodle dicks? 1781 01:29:57,700 --> 01:29:59,200 That to-do-you-- 1782 01:30:01,400 --> 01:30:03,500 Hey, noodle dicks. 1783 01:30:03,400 --> 01:30:06,000 God damn it. Come on. 1784 01:30:06,200 --> 01:30:08,100 What's up, noodle dicks? 1785 01:30:08,000 --> 01:30:11,400 That table over there just ordered 2 rounds of premium tequila. 1786 01:30:11,300 --> 01:30:13,400 Now you guys-- now you guys-- 1787 01:30:13,400 --> 01:30:15,400 Shit! 1788 01:30:15,300 --> 01:30:17,500 I missed each and every one of you. 1789 01:30:22,400 --> 01:30:25,600 I don't like that shit. I don't like the dark. 1790 01:30:25,500 --> 01:30:28,000 Y'all didn't fucking see "Green Mile"? 1791 01:30:27,900 --> 01:30:29,700 I am afraid of the dark. 1792 01:30:29,600 --> 01:30:32,000 - That's fucked up. - Cut. 1793 01:30:33,800 --> 01:30:35,800 My God, that's crazy. 1794 01:30:35,700 --> 01:30:37,600 And I'm Barack Obama. 1795 01:30:37,500 --> 01:30:39,100 And I'm Osama bin Laden. 1796 01:30:39,300 --> 01:30:40,700 And I'm Obama bin Laden. 1797 01:30:40,700 --> 01:30:42,100 And I'm Shaquille O'Neal. 1798 01:30:42,100 --> 01:30:45,300 And I'm Gloria Estefan from the Miami Sound Machine. 1799 01:30:49,800 --> 01:30:51,700 I can do it. I can do it. 1800 01:30:58,900 --> 01:31:01,300 - Can you do a faster one, please? - Okay. 1801 01:31:05,600 --> 01:31:07,600 Cut. 1802 01:31:15,800 --> 01:31:17,800 Good, let's go from the top again. 1803 01:31:17,700 --> 01:31:20,200 Is it gross? All right, cut. 1804 01:31:20,200 --> 01:31:21,700 Cut cut cut. 1805 01:31:21,700 --> 01:31:23,300 It wasn't gross. I just thought I'd put it back. 1806 01:31:28,300 --> 01:31:30,000 Well, you know what they say: 1807 01:31:30,000 --> 01:31:32,000 All the good ones are either gay or crazy. 1808 01:31:32,000 --> 01:31:33,700 Or fat. Or gassy. 1809 01:31:33,700 --> 01:31:35,900 Or Dutch. Or uncircumcised. 1810 01:31:36,800 --> 01:31:38,800 What does that mean? 1811 01:31:38,700 --> 01:31:40,500 Cut! 1812 01:31:40,500 --> 01:31:43,200 And she throws an elbow across like this. 1813 01:31:43,100 --> 01:31:45,400 So I want to grab her-- I started to do like that. 1814 01:31:45,300 --> 01:31:47,300 Body shot, body shot, body shot, body shot. 1815 01:31:47,200 --> 01:31:48,600 We were in the clinch like this 1816 01:31:48,500 --> 01:31:50,500 and I started to go, "Bitch, what the fuck are you doing?" 1817 01:31:50,400 --> 01:31:52,300 So I'm like... and I'm trying to hit him. 1818 01:31:52,300 --> 01:31:54,300 And we cover up like this and I'm moving around. 1819 01:31:54,300 --> 01:31:55,800 I'm like, "This dude is--" 1820 01:31:55,800 --> 01:31:57,200 no, don't turn your back. Stay right here. 1821 01:31:57,100 --> 01:31:59,600 Last week on "Heroes." 1822 01:31:59,500 --> 01:32:02,200 Yeah, cut. Yes. Very good. 1823 01:32:20,000 --> 01:32:21,800 'Cause I'm bored. 1824 01:32:22,000 --> 01:32:24,300 Cut. Cut. 1825 01:32:31,100 --> 01:32:34,300 * Ay, mamacita 1826 01:32:34,200 --> 01:32:36,500 * Go on and do your thing, yeah 1827 01:32:36,500 --> 01:32:38,400 * Go on and do your thing, girl 1828 01:32:38,300 --> 01:32:41,000 * Ay, mamacita 1829 01:32:41,000 --> 01:32:43,800 * Go on and do your thing, yeah 1830 01:33:43,900 --> 01:33:47,000 * Ay, mamacita 1831 01:33:47,000 --> 01:33:49,600 * Go on and do your thing, yeah 1832 01:33:49,500 --> 01:33:51,700 * Go on and do your thing, girl 1833 01:33:51,700 --> 01:33:54,000 * Ay, mamacita 1834 01:33:53,900 --> 01:33:56,200 * Go on and do your thing, yeah 1835 01:33:56,100 --> 01:33:58,100 * Oh, yeah 1836 01:33:58,000 --> 01:34:00,100 * Ay, mamacita.