1
00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:54,898
Pretty nice up here, isn't it?
2
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,899
- Kermit?
- Huh?
3
00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,839
What if we drift out to sea?
4
00:01:00,052 --> 00:01:03,695
What if we're never heard from again?
What if there's a storm?
5
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,501
- Or we get struck by lightning?
- That'd be neat.
6
00:01:08,218 --> 00:01:11,655
Listen, nothing's gonna happen.
This is just the opening credits.
7
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:14,812
Oh. Where are they?
8
00:01:16,085 --> 00:01:17,099
Wow!
9
00:01:18,257 --> 00:01:21,579
- "The Great Muppet Caper."
- Nice title.
10
00:01:23,702 --> 00:01:24,930
Whoo-wee!
11
00:01:25,483 --> 00:01:27,616
I'd like to try this without the balloon.
12
00:01:27,889 --> 00:01:30,580
- Try what? Plummeting?
- Yeah!
13
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:33,477
I suppose you could try it once.
14
00:01:33,912 --> 00:01:35,458
- Kermit?
- Mm?
15
00:01:36,092 --> 00:01:38,102
How long are these opening credits?
16
00:01:38,584 --> 00:01:40,980
Just about another minute or so.
17
00:01:41,514 --> 00:01:43,053
My ears are popping.
18
00:01:44,834 --> 00:01:47,615
I wonder how far you
could plummet before you blacked out.
19
00:01:48,451 --> 00:01:51,388
Well, don't try it, Gonzo.
We need you for this movie.
20
00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:54,348
Sure is tempting.
21
00:01:58,213 --> 00:01:59,248
- Kermit?
- Huh?
22
00:01:59,426 --> 00:02:02,304
What does "BSC" stand for?
23
00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,994
I don't know.
24
00:02:09,177 --> 00:02:12,374
Gee, a lot of people worked on this movie.
25
00:02:12,543 --> 00:02:16,013
This is nothing.
Wait till you see the end credits.
26
00:02:24,681 --> 00:02:26,000
- Kermit?
- Mm?
27
00:02:26,090 --> 00:02:29,048
- Are the credits over?
- Not quite.
28
00:02:31,697 --> 00:02:33,625
Nobody reads those names
anyway, do they?
29
00:02:34,072 --> 00:02:36,881
Sure. They all have families.
30
00:02:37,509 --> 00:02:38,464
Ah.
31
00:02:38,489 --> 00:02:40,684
That's it. The sky is clear.
32
00:02:40,876 --> 00:02:44,710
So, OK. Well, now what do we do?
I mean, how does this movie start?
33
00:02:44,961 --> 00:02:48,192
- Well, we just pull that rope.
- Yes, sir!
34
00:02:52,985 --> 00:02:55,596
We're going down!
35
00:02:55,684 --> 00:02:57,993
Heads up, below!
36
00:03:10,838 --> 00:03:13,432
What a fantastic beginning.
37
00:03:15,993 --> 00:03:19,065
There'll be spectacle
There'll be fantasy
38
00:03:19,278 --> 00:03:22,748
There'll be derring-do
and stuff like you have never seen
39
00:03:22,924 --> 00:03:26,280
- Hey. A movie
- Yeah. We're gonna be a movie
40
00:03:26,305 --> 00:03:29,438
- Starring everybody
- And me
41
00:03:29,678 --> 00:03:33,114
There'll be heroes bold
There'll be comedy
42
00:03:33,198 --> 00:03:36,805
And a lot of fuss
that ends for us real happily
43
00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:40,528
- Hey. A movie
- We can watch it all develop
44
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,545
- Starring everybody
- And me
45
00:03:43,821 --> 00:03:47,177
We'll take the world
and set it on its ear
46
00:03:47,347 --> 00:03:51,465
Come on. Join in
We're gonna start right here
47
00:03:56,032 --> 00:03:58,102
It's OK. I landed on my head.
48
00:03:58,192 --> 00:04:00,183
Come on!
49
00:04:00,272 --> 00:04:01,702
Here, chicken!
50
00:04:01,727 --> 00:04:04,958
Hey! Why, you...
51
00:04:05,061 --> 00:04:06,619
Whoa!
52
00:04:07,211 --> 00:04:10,447
Hold it!
53
00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:14,052
- Go ahead, Kermit.
- Thank you. See, in this film,
54
00:04:14,241 --> 00:04:17,836
me and Fozzie play crack investigative
reporters for The Daily Chronicle.
55
00:04:18,077 --> 00:04:21,149
And Gonzo, he's our photographer.
And it's gonna be terrific.
56
00:04:23,651 --> 00:04:26,484
Boy, I wish I were you people,
seeing this for the first time.
57
00:04:26,813 --> 00:04:28,849
Wh?
58
00:04:30,866 --> 00:04:33,983
- There'll be crooks and cops
- There'll be villainy
59
00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:37,798
But with us on call
we'll fix it all real easily
60
00:04:37,823 --> 00:04:41,517
- Hey. A movie
- Wow. It's gonna be terrific
61
00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:44,456
- Starring everybody
- And me.
62
00:04:46,187 --> 00:04:48,257
Argh!
63
00:04:48,510 --> 00:04:50,865
Now, what we need, guys,
is an exciting photo story.
64
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:54,871
Right this way, young lady.
I'll take a picture of this chicken.
65
00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:57,772
- Beautiful.
- That's great, Gonzo.
66
00:04:58,095 --> 00:05:00,689
Yeah. Smile, chicky babe.
67
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:10,223
My jewels! That man stole my jewels!
68
00:05:10,334 --> 00:05:12,723
Help! My jewels!
69
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:24,658
Look up. Hey, do you wanna
make the front pages or not?
70
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:26,977
Kermit, I got a great
picture of the chicken.
71
00:05:27,099 --> 00:05:28,010
Oh, good.
72
00:05:28,035 --> 00:05:31,703
There'll be mystery and catastrophe
73
00:05:31,734 --> 00:05:35,170
But it's all in fun
You paid the money. Wait and see
74
00:05:35,254 --> 00:05:38,849
- Hey. A movie
- Is there any way to stop it?
75
00:05:38,934 --> 00:05:42,483
- Starring everybody
- Everybody
76
00:05:42,793 --> 00:05:45,626
- Everybody and
- Oh...
77
00:05:50,157 --> 00:05:52,307
Me
78
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,312
How could you miss a story like that?
79
00:06:02,498 --> 00:06:04,461
It was right under
your noses, practically
80
00:06:04,486 --> 00:06:05,615
bit you on the
seat of the pants.
81
00:06:05,901 --> 00:06:07,220
There's just no excuse.
82
00:06:07,519 --> 00:06:10,591
I guess this would be the wrong time
to ask for a raise?
83
00:06:10,985 --> 00:06:13,658
Raise? A raise?
84
00:06:13,969 --> 00:06:16,324
I'll give you a raise!
85
00:06:18,399 --> 00:06:21,118
Did you read these headlines? Huh?
86
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:25,168
"Jewel heist on Main Street."
And it's nice bold print, isn't it?
87
00:06:25,431 --> 00:06:27,422
- Yes, it's very easy to read.
- Mm.
88
00:06:28,169 --> 00:06:30,205
- Shut up now.
- Sorry.
89
00:06:30,508 --> 00:06:33,659
"Lady Holiday's Jewels Stolen",
that's what it says in the Times.
90
00:06:33,842 --> 00:06:38,962
And here's the Herald.
"Fashion Queen of London Robbed."
91
00:06:39,229 --> 00:06:42,187
And last but not least...
92
00:06:43,265 --> 00:06:45,476
...here's our cute little banner story.
93
00:06:46,015 --> 00:06:48,757
"Identical Twins Join the Chronicle Staff."
94
00:06:49,393 --> 00:06:51,861
Now, I ask you,
what paper would you buy?
95
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,153
- I read the one that has "Dear Abby".
- Bah!
96
00:06:59,722 --> 00:07:03,017
Gee, Mr Tarkanian. We thought identical
twins working on a newspaper
97
00:07:03,042 --> 00:07:05,431
- would make an interesting story.
- Yeah.
98
00:07:05,803 --> 00:07:11,196
Well, it doesn't. Especially since
you two guys don't look anything alike.
99
00:07:11,479 --> 00:07:14,575
Well, that's cos Fozzie's not wearing
his hat. Fozzie, put your hat back on.
100
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,672
Oh. Yes, sir. See?
101
00:07:18,415 --> 00:07:20,565
Oh, yeah.
102
00:07:20,725 --> 00:07:24,354
I can see it now. But that's still
no excuse for blowing a story.
103
00:07:24,586 --> 00:07:28,420
- We'll do better next time.
- Next time? Next time?
104
00:07:28,607 --> 00:07:30,837
What makes you think
there's gonna be a next time?
105
00:07:31,123 --> 00:07:33,318
Well, if there isn't
it's gonna be a real short movie.
106
00:07:33,505 --> 00:07:35,097
Look, the only reason I hired you two jerks
107
00:07:35,185 --> 00:07:38,018
was because your old man
was a friend of mine.
108
00:07:38,774 --> 00:07:40,605
Dad spoke well of you too.
109
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:44,946
Well, I'm as sentimental as the next guy.
That's why I don't want him to hear this.
110
00:07:45,245 --> 00:07:47,520
You're fired.
111
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:51,495
- Take that thing down off the ceiling.
- Yeah, but, Mr Tarkanian...
112
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:54,159
- Gonzo.
- Check. Whoo-wee!
113
00:07:54,521 --> 00:07:55,920
Won't you listen to reason, sir?
114
00:07:55,945 --> 00:07:59,017
I'm not listening to anything
and I'm not giving you your job back.
115
00:07:59,238 --> 00:08:01,957
I don't want you to give us anything.
We just want to go to England
116
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,212
and talk to Lady Holiday -
the woman who was robbed?
117
00:08:04,562 --> 00:08:06,598
And we'll catch those
jewel thieves for you.
118
00:08:06,784 --> 00:08:09,093
You see, all you have to do
is pay our way to London.
119
00:08:09,249 --> 00:08:10,079
Oh!
120
00:08:10,104 --> 00:08:12,857
Is that all I have to do?
121
00:08:13,088 --> 00:08:15,150
Well, we could use
some new luggage for the trip.
122
00:08:15,315 --> 00:08:16,953
Luggage?
123
00:08:17,222 --> 00:08:19,048
Now look, beat it. I
got a deadline to meet.
124
00:08:19,072 --> 00:08:20,771
But how are we
gonna get to London?
125
00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:23,169
I'll tell you what,
Fozzie, since you're such
126
00:08:23,193 --> 00:08:25,359
an investigative
reporter, you figure it out.
127
00:08:25,848 --> 00:08:29,966
- I'm Fozzie.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. The hat.
128
00:08:33,498 --> 00:08:36,410
Stop the presses!
129
00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:38,856
Why? What happened?
130
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,532
I don't know.
I've always wanted to say that.
131
00:08:41,618 --> 00:08:43,848
Look, you guys...
132
00:08:58,647 --> 00:09:01,684
Oh, boy.
It must be 50 below in here.
133
00:09:01,852 --> 00:09:03,808
You're lucky, you have fur.
134
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:09,717
No, no, no. You're the one with the fur.
Turn on your light and see for yourself.
135
00:09:10,075 --> 00:09:11,667
Oh, yeah!
136
00:09:11,786 --> 00:09:13,822
I keep mixing us up.
137
00:09:14,926 --> 00:09:18,123
I think I'll read for a while.
138
00:09:18,898 --> 00:09:21,776
- I wish I had a book.
- Hey, Kermit?
139
00:09:22,507 --> 00:09:25,385
Can you reach the hostess call button?
I'm hungry.
140
00:09:25,615 --> 00:09:28,209
They don't serve food in ninth class.
141
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:31,465
What?
$12 and you don't even get a meal?
142
00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:37,292
Hey, could you guys keep it down?
I'm trying to watch the movie.
143
00:09:38,439 --> 00:09:41,636
- Hey, somebody's coming.
- Maybe they're bringing hamburgers.
144
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:45,221
- All out for England!
- Oh, great, the plane is landing.
145
00:09:45,589 --> 00:09:49,787
- The plane? Nah, the plane lands in Italy.
- Huh?
146
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:52,368
- You land in England.
- Whoa!
147
00:09:53,506 --> 00:09:55,701
Kermmmmiiitt!
148
00:09:58,235 --> 00:10:00,146
What's happening?
149
00:10:00,171 --> 00:10:02,890
Whoopee!
150
00:10:06,488 --> 00:10:09,286
Geronimo!
151
00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:17,849
Glug!
152
00:10:18,097 --> 00:10:20,133
For once the forecast was right.
153
00:10:20,295 --> 00:10:22,968
It said it was going to rain cats and dogs.
154
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:26,364
- No, no. We're bears and frogs.
- And Gonzos.
155
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:30,322
Whatever you are, whoever you are,
welcome to Great Britain.
156
00:10:30,454 --> 00:10:32,649
Great Britain?
We're actually in Great Britain!
157
00:10:32,835 --> 00:10:35,986
Oh, no, we'll never get to England now.
158
00:10:36,286 --> 00:10:39,005
You are in England, my furry friend.
159
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:42,554
This 'sceptred isle.
This jewel of the North Atlantic.
160
00:10:42,874 --> 00:10:44,671
Oh, good. Well, we're going to London
161
00:10:44,754 --> 00:10:47,427
and we were wondering
if you could recommend a nice hotel.
162
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:50,421
- Actually, a cheap hotel.
- How cheap?
163
00:10:51,066 --> 00:10:56,094
- Free.
- That narrows the field a bit. Let's see.
164
00:10:56,397 --> 00:10:59,514
"Places where you can park
your carcasses."
165
00:10:59,729 --> 00:11:02,004
Bus terminals. River banks.
166
00:11:02,464 --> 00:11:06,093
- The Happiness Hotel.
- Happiness Hotel? That sounds great.
167
00:11:06,118 --> 00:11:09,349
What's wrong with bus terminals?
168
00:11:09,528 --> 00:11:11,723
Well, thanks a lot for your help, sir.
169
00:11:20,955 --> 00:11:22,468
Hey, guys, this is London.
170
00:11:22,493 --> 00:11:25,212
Yeah, London!
We made it! Oh, boy!
171
00:11:25,504 --> 00:11:27,301
- Is that the Eiffel Tower?
- Yeah!
172
00:11:27,375 --> 00:11:29,366
- No.
- No, no.
173
00:11:30,685 --> 00:11:32,277
- Hey, Kermit?
- Yeah?
174
00:11:32,311 --> 00:11:35,269
- Are bears allowed in those fountains?
- What?
175
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:37,012
Are bears allowed in those fountains?
176
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,031
- No, I don't think so.
- I need a bath.
177
00:11:40,473 --> 00:11:44,512
This is terrific.
Wow, look at the scenery.
178
00:11:44,742 --> 00:11:48,371
It's very realistic.
Hey, what's the name of this river?
179
00:11:48,462 --> 00:11:51,374
- I don't know.
- I think it's the English River.
180
00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:52,953
Oh.
181
00:11:53,165 --> 00:11:56,396
I'll take a picture of it.
Say cheese!
182
00:11:57,452 --> 00:11:58,931
Did I get my elbow in the shot?
183
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:02,452
- Don't worry. It adds human interest.
- But I'm a bear.
184
00:12:02,582 --> 00:12:05,415
- Anyone for the Happiness Hotel?
- Huh?
185
00:12:05,682 --> 00:12:07,638
- Oh, Happiness Hotel!
- That's us!
186
00:12:07,878 --> 00:12:10,312
- Yes, we want the Happiness Hotel.
- Yeah.
187
00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:14,488
Argh!
188
00:12:16,117 --> 00:12:18,711
Wow.
189
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:21,460
Boy, another crash landing.
That was terrible.
190
00:12:21,766 --> 00:12:23,996
Well, we'll just have to do it again.
191
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:28,604
Oh, look. The Happiness Hotel.
What do you think, guys?
192
00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:29,622
Wow.
193
00:12:29,647 --> 00:12:31,861
If that's the Happiness
Hotel I'd hate
194
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:34,038
to see what the
sad one looks like.
195
00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:51,369
- Excuse me?
- What?
196
00:12:51,981 --> 00:12:54,126
We'd like a room.
197
00:12:54,151 --> 00:12:56,062
Really?
198
00:12:56,374 --> 00:12:59,013
Yeah, we'd like to check in.
199
00:12:59,038 --> 00:13:02,269
Somebody's checking in!
200
00:13:02,554 --> 00:13:04,943
Somebody's checking in?
201
00:13:07,392 --> 00:13:11,351
Oh. There's no fire in the fireplace
There's no carpet on the floor
202
00:13:11,376 --> 00:13:14,812
Don't try to order dinner
There's no kitchen any more
203
00:13:14,898 --> 00:13:18,095
But if the road's been kinda bumpy
and you need to rest a spell
204
00:13:18,248 --> 00:13:21,479
Well. Welcome home
to the Happiness Hotel
205
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:30,610
- Hey, how are you guys fixing to pay?
- What are our choices?
206
00:13:31,137 --> 00:13:34,129
A, credit card. B, cash.
207
00:13:34,154 --> 00:13:36,714
C, sneak out in the middle of the night.
208
00:13:37,323 --> 00:13:38,881
We'll take C.
209
00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:41,672
Very popular choice.
210
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:48,203
If you got luggage keep it handy
but you're running out of luck
211
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:52,085
Cos the bellhops ain't too organised
and the elevator's stuck
212
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,158
Still if you don't mind friendly animals
and can learn to stand the smell
213
00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:59,048
Well. Welcome home
to the Happiness Hotel
214
00:14:05,534 --> 00:14:08,048
You know, I may be mistaken,
but the bellhops look like rats.
215
00:14:08,316 --> 00:14:10,591
You should see the chambermaids.
216
00:14:22,752 --> 00:14:24,390
- Welcome home
- Welcome home
217
00:14:24,632 --> 00:14:26,463
- Welcome home
- Welcome home
218
00:14:26,715 --> 00:14:29,946
No matter where you wander
you will never do as well
219
00:14:35,379 --> 00:14:38,974
OK. The lobby's looking shabby
and it's got the wrong address
220
00:14:39,365 --> 00:14:42,721
And the whole dang thing has
been condemned by American Express
221
00:14:42,914 --> 00:14:46,111
Still the management is cheerful
though the whole joint's gone to hell
222
00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:50,624
Well. Welcome home
to the Happiness Hotel
223
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:54,180
- You guys live here?
- Yeah, but only between gigs.
224
00:14:54,266 --> 00:14:57,656
So that means we've been here this time,
what, five years?
225
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:02,633
Yeah, but, like, OK, you know, our agent,
you know, like, he says, I mean, like,
226
00:15:02,658 --> 00:15:06,173
things are really going to break
as soon as we get our new glossies.
227
00:15:06,503 --> 00:15:08,619
Argh!
228
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,110
What's wrong with the drummer?
He looks a little crazed.
229
00:15:11,135 --> 00:15:14,810
Aw, he's just upset about missing the
Rembrandt exhibit at the National Gallery.
230
00:15:15,028 --> 00:15:17,496
Renoir!
231
00:15:55,676 --> 00:15:57,394
- Oh. There are bugs
- There are bugs
232
00:15:57,419 --> 00:15:59,375
- And there are lice
- There are lice
233
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:03,046
Sure, we have our little problems
but you'll never beat the price
234
00:16:03,302 --> 00:16:06,658
- You got every kind of critter
- You got every kind of pest
235
00:16:06,937 --> 00:16:10,339
But we treat 'em all as equals
just like any other guest
236
00:16:10,364 --> 00:16:13,515
Though you're cleaner than the others
still, as far as we can tell
237
00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:16,739
You'll fit right in to the Happiness Hotel
238
00:16:17,335 --> 00:16:22,807
We'll fit right in to the Happiness Hotel
239
00:16:23,403 --> 00:16:26,156
Say cheese!
240
00:16:29,709 --> 00:16:32,303
You are all weirdos.
241
00:16:33,361 --> 00:16:34,316
Ugh.
242
00:16:35,511 --> 00:16:37,627
Oh, that's just fine right there.
243
00:16:40,123 --> 00:16:42,159
Thank you.
244
00:16:43,264 --> 00:16:45,824
Hey, not bad.
245
00:16:46,115 --> 00:16:48,913
Are you sure we can afford this?
246
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,165
Hey, Kermit, I'm getting hungry.
247
00:16:51,222 --> 00:16:53,417
- Call room service.
- There's no phone.
248
00:16:53,566 --> 00:16:57,400
- That's OK. There's no food either.
- Come on, Rizzo.
249
00:16:57,938 --> 00:17:00,611
Look, why don't we forget about food
and get a good night's sleep?
250
00:17:00,636 --> 00:17:04,185
We have to get up early
to interview Lady Holiday.
251
00:17:04,401 --> 00:17:08,633
Boy, I sure could use something
from one or more of the basic food groups.
252
00:17:09,215 --> 00:17:10,680
We'll have breakfast
in the morning.
253
00:17:10,744 --> 00:17:12,930
Right now, let's just
be thankful we're here.
254
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:18,207
Say, this is nice.
255
00:17:18,357 --> 00:17:20,712
Can somebody
turn out the light?
256
00:17:21,842 --> 00:17:23,005
Thank you.
257
00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:30,669
This is Lady Holiday.
Milan speaking? Then put him on.
258
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,485
Oh, yes, darling. Yes, I'm fine.
259
00:17:33,571 --> 00:17:37,120
I had quite a scare.
Thank God I wasn't hurt.
260
00:17:37,314 --> 00:17:42,069
Of course my diamonds were valuable.
All my diamonds are valuable.
261
00:17:42,334 --> 00:17:44,818
Now, darling, I want you
to call the United States and tell Vogue
262
00:17:44,843 --> 00:17:47,443
they can't have the photographs
of the spring line until after the show.
263
00:17:47,468 --> 00:17:53,225
I'm not too happy with some of the designs.
Still have to make some changes.
264
00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:03,429
Well, I'm looking at three of the gowns now
and I can see horrendous mistakes.
265
00:18:03,752 --> 00:18:06,107
Of course Paris should be notified.
266
00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:09,569
Carla. The neckline on that gown
is too high, don't you think?
267
00:18:09,764 --> 00:18:11,959
- I rather like the effect.
- Do you like looking like an ostrich?
268
00:18:12,012 --> 00:18:14,128
- Of course not.
- And Marla.
269
00:18:14,462 --> 00:18:16,180
Too many frills and furbelows.
270
00:18:16,205 --> 00:18:19,436
I don't think we should strive
for the fantail pigeon look, do you?
271
00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:23,319
And you, Darla. That outfit's the pits.
272
00:18:23,612 --> 00:18:25,603
Loose where it should be tight
and tight where it should be loose,
273
00:18:25,628 --> 00:18:26,822
like the folds on a turkey's neck.
274
00:18:26,988 --> 00:18:30,369
Why would I design
such atrocious-looking clothes? Oh!
275
00:18:31,864 --> 00:18:35,396
- I must be getting senile.
- Yes. Lady Holiday?
276
00:18:35,421 --> 00:18:38,549
We have to make drastic changes
in the new line before the show tomorrow.
277
00:18:38,574 --> 00:18:42,567
All my girls are going around
looking like barnyard animals.
278
00:18:45,261 --> 00:18:47,821
Good heavens. Who are you?
279
00:18:51,066 --> 00:18:56,982
My name is Miss Piggy and
I would like to be a high-fashion model.
280
00:18:58,306 --> 00:19:01,457
Doesn't surprise me.
Seems to be the way we're heading.
281
00:19:02,047 --> 00:19:05,719
I've always dreamed
of being a Holiday model.
282
00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:09,844
I have brought my je ne sais quoi and
my portfolio all the way here to London
283
00:19:09,869 --> 00:19:13,880
to see you, the one and only Lady Holiday.
284
00:19:15,532 --> 00:19:18,046
- May I come in?
- Absolutely not.
285
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,442
- May I show you my portfolio?
- No.
286
00:19:21,467 --> 00:19:24,823
Good. Here. You may open it.
287
00:19:25,489 --> 00:19:26,126
Ah.
288
00:19:26,151 --> 00:19:29,348
This is me reeking grandeur.
289
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:32,209
Being aloof.
290
00:19:32,569 --> 00:19:35,129
Being demure. Ah.
291
00:19:35,155 --> 00:19:36,827
Daring.
292
00:19:37,117 --> 00:19:40,712
- Interesting range of emotions.
- You think so?
293
00:19:41,376 --> 00:19:45,563
Well, as you can see from
this small sampling, modelling is my life.
294
00:19:45,588 --> 00:19:48,415
It is my destiny. I shall
accept nothing less.
295
00:19:48,484 --> 00:19:51,954
I can offer you a job as a receptionist.
296
00:19:52,185 --> 00:19:55,973
I'll take it! I'll take it!
Oh, thank you, thank you! Thank you!
297
00:19:56,283 --> 00:19:57,921
Oh! Oh! Oh!
298
00:19:58,074 --> 00:20:03,102
You won't be sorry, I promise. I can type,
I can take shorthand, I can make coffee.
299
00:20:03,423 --> 00:20:06,381
- I can do it all.
- Sit.
300
00:20:06,586 --> 00:20:10,181
- I can sit. I'm very good at sitting.
- Are you quite under control?
301
00:20:10,351 --> 00:20:12,706
Mm, mm, mm, mm!
302
00:20:13,604 --> 00:20:16,118
Now, I'll be lunching
with my brother Nicky.
303
00:20:16,305 --> 00:20:19,661
He's second in command here
and he's an irresponsible parasite.
304
00:20:19,878 --> 00:20:21,550
But I had to bring him into the business
305
00:20:21,849 --> 00:20:23,805
because he squandered
his half of the inheritance
306
00:20:23,835 --> 00:20:27,305
and he has categorically no prospects.
Not that he's grateful.
307
00:20:27,376 --> 00:20:30,855
He still gambles and incurs bad debts,
uses my charge accounts,
308
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:34,555
eats my food and borrows my cars
without asking permission.
309
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,154
And certainly he's not to be trusted.
310
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:38,844
I wouldn't even put
it past him to try to
311
00:20:38,868 --> 00:20:40,825
steal my most valuable
and largest jewel,
312
00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:42,710
the fabulous Baseball Diamond.
313
00:20:43,207 --> 00:20:47,439
And I don't know why his bow ties
are always crooked.
314
00:20:47,808 --> 00:20:51,960
- Still, in all, he is my brother.
- Why are you telling me all this?
315
00:20:52,157 --> 00:20:54,113
It's plot exposition.
It has to go somewhere.
316
00:20:54,190 --> 00:20:57,488
Anyway, I want you
to answer the telephone while I'm gone
317
00:20:57,513 --> 00:20:59,629
and straighten up the office.
318
00:20:59,728 --> 00:21:01,684
Consider it done.
319
00:21:02,827 --> 00:21:05,546
Everything's under control. Not to sweat.
320
00:21:06,554 --> 00:21:09,512
Carry on. I'll be back in an hour.
321
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,223
Whee!
322
00:21:12,248 --> 00:21:14,364
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!
323
00:21:14,592 --> 00:21:18,267
Oh, I am going to be a famous model.
Oh, I'm so happy for me.
324
00:21:18,508 --> 00:21:22,387
Miss Piggy, you are on your way.
325
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:25,468
Where does Lady Holiday get off
calling me an ostrich?
326
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:28,849
We'll get even with Lady Holiday tonight
when we steal her necklace.
327
00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:32,770
What are you going to wear
for the robbery?
328
00:21:33,748 --> 00:21:34,942
Hi.
329
00:21:35,028 --> 00:21:38,816
- Hi. Hello.
- Hubba hubba!
330
00:21:39,041 --> 00:21:41,546
Excuse me, where's Lady Holiday's office?
331
00:21:41,571 --> 00:21:43,926
- Round the corner, to the left.
- Oh. Thank you.
332
00:21:44,069 --> 00:21:47,015
- Did you just give directions to a frog?
- I guess I did.
333
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,600
Smile.
334
00:21:49,671 --> 00:21:51,741
Is that a new photographer?
335
00:21:51,987 --> 00:21:53,739
Urgh!
336
00:21:55,066 --> 00:21:58,502
- I think I'm stuck.
- Gonzo? Gonzo!
337
00:21:58,726 --> 00:22:00,800
Gonzo. Gonzo.
338
00:22:00,825 --> 00:22:02,816
Pull.
339
00:22:05,335 --> 00:22:09,294
- Gonzo, are you OK?
- Oh, sure. It was just my nose.
340
00:22:09,555 --> 00:22:12,149
Hey, you guys stay here.
I'll find Lady Holiday.
341
00:22:12,282 --> 00:22:12,873
Yes, sir.
342
00:22:12,993 --> 00:22:17,748
Hey, Fozzie. Come on,
get your nose in here. It's really fun.
343
00:22:23,208 --> 00:22:26,200
Mr Holiday? Did you order
a gross of flowered socks?
344
00:22:26,819 --> 00:22:30,175
Oh! What an honour.
You're all so wonderful.
345
00:22:30,439 --> 00:22:34,068
Thank you for choosing moi
as model of the year.
346
00:22:34,167 --> 00:22:38,331
Oh! I never dreamed
when I first began in this business
347
00:22:38,576 --> 00:22:41,136
that I would reach such lofty heights.
348
00:22:41,341 --> 00:22:43,536
Thank you! Thank you!
349
00:22:43,714 --> 00:22:45,989
Excuse me.
350
00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:50,678
So, what do you think
about the drapes, hm?
351
00:22:50,938 --> 00:22:53,713
Personally, I'd rather see shutters. Yes.
352
00:22:54,137 --> 00:22:56,446
And on this wall here...
353
00:23:10,530 --> 00:23:12,760
Lady Holiday?
354
00:23:14,748 --> 00:23:16,864
Lady Holiday?
355
00:23:29,084 --> 00:23:31,075
Gee, are you OK?
356
00:23:31,453 --> 00:23:34,560
I don't think I'll ever be the same.
357
00:23:34,603 --> 00:23:37,130
- Pardon?
- Oh.
358
00:23:37,264 --> 00:23:39,698
I mean, I don't usually fall like that.
359
00:23:39,964 --> 00:23:43,479
I thought it was a very nice fall.
It was quite graceful, actually.
360
00:23:43,564 --> 00:23:46,954
Oh, thank you, whoever you are.
361
00:23:47,786 --> 00:23:49,364
My name is Kermit the Frog
362
00:23:49,389 --> 00:23:53,507
and I've come all the way from America
to interview you for The Daily Chronicle.
363
00:23:53,863 --> 00:23:56,013
Me? Why me?
364
00:23:56,572 --> 00:23:58,563
Because you're Lady Holiday.
365
00:23:59,826 --> 00:24:01,314
Oh. Oh.
366
00:24:01,448 --> 00:24:04,167
Yeah, right. Reason enough.
367
00:24:04,342 --> 00:24:06,094
Um...
368
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:07,794
You wanna help me
out of this wastebasket?
369
00:24:07,939 --> 00:24:08,735
Oh.
370
00:24:08,866 --> 00:24:10,538
- Oh, yeah.
- Now just pull.
371
00:24:10,727 --> 00:24:13,480
OK.
372
00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:16,061
- Harder.
- OK.
373
00:24:20,164 --> 00:24:23,918
So... listen. Can I ask you
a couple of questions now?
374
00:24:24,019 --> 00:24:26,921
No, no. Um... Not here.
375
00:24:27,064 --> 00:24:29,942
So busy. So much to do.
376
00:24:30,156 --> 00:24:32,909
Well, perhaps we could
have dinner tonight?
377
00:24:33,107 --> 00:24:36,224
Yes. Fine. Swell. See you then.
378
00:24:36,525 --> 00:24:39,198
I'll pick you up at your house.
It must be beautiful.
379
00:24:39,456 --> 00:24:41,412
- I'm sure it is.
- Hm?
380
00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:44,655
- I mean, sure it is!
- Yeah.
381
00:24:44,832 --> 00:24:48,108
So, where do you live?
382
00:24:48,410 --> 00:24:50,207
Um...
383
00:24:50,408 --> 00:24:52,603
Guess!
384
00:24:52,782 --> 00:24:55,012
Probably some highbrow street
somewhere.
385
00:24:55,579 --> 00:24:59,391
Highbrow Street, absolutely right.
Highbrow Street.
386
00:24:59,471 --> 00:25:04,181
How did you guess? Are you psychic?
But now, guess what number.
387
00:25:04,475 --> 00:25:07,672
I don't know. Number 17?
388
00:25:07,903 --> 00:25:10,174
Yes, all right. 17 Highbrow Street.
389
00:25:10,199 --> 00:25:12,918
OK. I'll pick you up at, shall we say...
390
00:25:13,093 --> 00:25:15,129
- eight o'clock?
- 5:30?
391
00:25:15,158 --> 00:25:16,989
- 4:15?
- 9:20?
392
00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:19,751
- Seven o'clock.
- OK. That was easy.
393
00:25:19,776 --> 00:25:21,752
- Yes, easy.
- OK, well I'll see you later.
394
00:25:21,818 --> 00:25:24,252
Yes. Eight o'clock.
395
00:25:24,448 --> 00:25:26,723
- Seven.
- Seven, seven.
396
00:25:28,228 --> 00:25:30,059
Well, um...
397
00:25:30,187 --> 00:25:33,145
- Goodbye.
- Yes.
398
00:25:33,539 --> 00:25:36,007
Adios, mon ch�ri.
399
00:25:38,316 --> 00:25:39,988
Much obliged.
400
00:25:40,256 --> 00:25:43,453
So, Kermit, tell me, what about
Lady Holiday? I mean, is she pretty?
401
00:25:43,669 --> 00:25:48,220
Oh, yeah. Not at all what I expected.
Nice eyes, sturdy legs.
402
00:25:48,457 --> 00:25:52,370
And it might have been my imagination,
but I think she found me attractive.
403
00:25:52,661 --> 00:25:54,258
Oh. Taxi!
404
00:25:54,284 --> 00:25:57,853
Well, of course she found you attractive.
It runs in the family.
405
00:25:58,107 --> 00:26:01,304
Taxi! Taxi!
406
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:06,230
- I don't know why the cabs won't stop.
- Just leave it to me.
407
00:26:06,376 --> 00:26:08,765
Taxiiii!
408
00:26:12,707 --> 00:26:14,937
That's very effective.
409
00:26:15,254 --> 00:26:17,449
Yeah, it's great when it works.
410
00:26:17,815 --> 00:26:22,047
- Did you want me to stop or what?
- Thank you very much, sir.
411
00:26:22,112 --> 00:26:24,342
Oh, you can call me Beauregard.
412
00:26:24,463 --> 00:26:27,261
- Where are you guys going?
- The Happiness Hotel.
413
00:26:27,499 --> 00:26:30,889
Oh, good, that's where I'm going.
How do you get there?
414
00:26:31,136 --> 00:26:34,572
- Haven't you ever been there?
- Of course. I live there.
415
00:26:34,773 --> 00:26:36,764
I just don't know how to get there.
416
00:26:36,954 --> 00:26:40,071
- It's straight down this street.
- OK.
417
00:26:44,715 --> 00:26:48,628
- OK. Good. Now just keep going straight.
- Will do.
418
00:26:54,779 --> 00:26:57,418
It takes a while to get to know the town.
419
00:26:57,443 --> 00:27:00,640
- How long have you lived in London?
- All my life.
420
00:27:00,843 --> 00:27:02,595
How come you don't have
an English accent?
421
00:27:02,761 --> 00:27:05,400
Hey, I'm lucky to have a driver's license.
422
00:27:15,284 --> 00:27:18,276
- Hey, it's just up ahead there on the right.
- What is?
423
00:27:18,340 --> 00:27:21,332
- The Happiness Hotel.
- Oh, yeah.
424
00:27:21,586 --> 00:27:23,577
What's your room number?
425
00:27:23,824 --> 00:27:25,974
Wh? I don't know.
We're on the second floor.
426
00:27:26,108 --> 00:27:30,340
Oh, I'm sorry. I can only take you
as far as the lobby.
427
00:27:35,108 --> 00:27:37,668
Whee!
428
00:27:48,316 --> 00:27:50,876
You can never find a cab
when you need one.
429
00:27:52,667 --> 00:27:53,674
Whoo-whee!
430
00:27:54,042 --> 00:27:56,840
- Can we do that again?
- Well, thank you very much, Beauregard.
431
00:27:57,117 --> 00:27:59,401
You're welcome.
Hey, how do I get out of here?
432
00:27:59,740 --> 00:28:02,777
I suggest you make a U-turn.
433
00:28:02,802 --> 00:28:05,362
Right.
434
00:28:08,288 --> 00:28:11,360
- He's headed for the kitchen!
- Oh, no!
435
00:28:23,941 --> 00:28:27,297
Well, looks like steering wheel souffl�
for dinner.
436
00:28:27,451 --> 00:28:29,089
Again?
437
00:28:29,437 --> 00:28:31,546
If you'll excuse me,
I'm going out to dinner.
438
00:28:31,571 --> 00:28:34,244
That's right. Kermit's got a date
with Lady Holiday.
439
00:28:34,269 --> 00:28:37,898
- You don't have to tell everybody.
- Oh. Right.
440
00:28:38,254 --> 00:28:41,212
Pops, don't tell anybody.
Kermit's got a date with Lady Holiday.
441
00:28:41,490 --> 00:28:43,879
Kermit's got a date
with Lady Holiday?
442
00:28:44,016 --> 00:28:47,359
Oh, wow. Wait till I tell
the guys in the band.
443
00:28:47,384 --> 00:28:50,342
- Tell us what?
- Yeah, what's going down?
444
00:28:53,064 --> 00:28:56,693
Kermit and Lady Holiday? All right!
445
00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:03,442
Fozzie, this is all very embarrassing.
446
00:29:03,487 --> 00:29:06,365
Kermit, don't worry.
It won't go outside this room.
447
00:29:07,018 --> 00:29:11,330
Here is a Muppet news flash.
Kermit the Frog to date Lady Holiday.
448
00:29:11,566 --> 00:29:14,160
Details at 11.
449
00:29:20,658 --> 00:29:22,888
Smile.
450
00:29:23,818 --> 00:29:26,537
Local poultry.
451
00:29:32,114 --> 00:29:35,072
Boy, it's a good thing you didn't
tell everybody where Lady Holiday lives
452
00:29:35,271 --> 00:29:37,341
otherwise they'd all
be camped on her doorstep.
453
00:29:37,509 --> 00:29:40,740
That is just for you and me to know,
brother.
454
00:29:40,947 --> 00:29:45,780
We are going to have ourselves
a time tonight. Wacka wacka.
455
00:29:45,822 --> 00:29:48,814
- "We"? What do you mean "we"?
- The two of us. You missed a spot.
456
00:29:49,113 --> 00:29:51,343
Anyway. When we get there tonight,
just act naturally.
457
00:29:51,433 --> 00:29:53,993
No, no. Wait a second, wait a second.
It's when I get there.
458
00:29:54,236 --> 00:29:59,515
This is my date with Lady Holiday.
I'm going alone. So it's "me" not "we".
459
00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:01,239
Oh.
460
00:30:01,281 --> 00:30:04,478
I see. Fine.
461
00:30:04,706 --> 00:30:07,061
Boy, I wish I had whiskers.
462
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,276
Of course, then I'd have to use a blade.
463
00:30:09,337 --> 00:30:11,931
Kermit? Turn around.
464
00:30:12,266 --> 00:30:15,895
Are you really
going to go without me tonight?
465
00:30:16,339 --> 00:30:20,412
Well, Fozzie, I figure
this is something that I have to do alone.
466
00:30:21,833 --> 00:30:23,391
No problem.
467
00:30:23,575 --> 00:30:26,487
- Oh good. Just hand me my cuff links.
- Yes, sir.
468
00:30:26,638 --> 00:30:28,913
And straighten my tie
469
00:30:29,154 --> 00:30:32,829
Just drench me in rich cologne
and don't ask me why
470
00:30:34,084 --> 00:30:36,040
Go on and pluck me a boutonniere
471
00:30:36,570 --> 00:30:39,209
You're moving up and walking on air
472
00:30:39,234 --> 00:30:43,113
Steppin' out with a star and feeling high
473
00:30:44,122 --> 00:30:46,477
Come polish my wing tips
474
00:30:46,547 --> 00:30:49,141
And call for the car
475
00:30:49,733 --> 00:30:53,169
I'll sweep her right off her feet
wherever we are
476
00:30:54,785 --> 00:30:57,015
A satin collar and velvet vest
477
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,270
I never settle for second best
478
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:03,349
Steppin' out with a star
Sad times. Bye-bye
479
00:31:03,463 --> 00:31:05,897
Have I got style?
480
00:31:05,998 --> 00:31:08,387
Have I got taste?
481
00:31:09,698 --> 00:31:15,773
On someone else. I swear.
This savoir-faire would be such a waste
482
00:31:20,637 --> 00:31:23,105
- Come toss me my top hat
- Yes, sir!
483
00:31:23,130 --> 00:31:25,439
I'm ready to fly
484
00:31:25,612 --> 00:31:29,969
Busting into the upper crust
as easy as pie
485
00:31:30,665 --> 00:31:32,974
Just watch my dreams come true
486
00:31:33,116 --> 00:31:35,305
This is something I was born to do
487
00:31:35,330 --> 00:31:39,243
Steppin' out with a star
That star is you
488
00:32:01,755 --> 00:32:04,247
- Have you got class?
- Have I got class?
489
00:32:04,272 --> 00:32:06,834
- Have you got chic?
- Have I got chic?
490
00:32:06,859 --> 00:32:11,535
To think that you and me
were nobody. Why. Only last week
491
00:32:11,846 --> 00:32:13,598
Hey, guys!
492
00:32:19,314 --> 00:32:22,226
I'm ready to flyyyyyy
493
00:32:23,940 --> 00:32:27,091
- Kermit!
- At least I can try.
494
00:32:27,343 --> 00:32:29,698
Just watch my dreams come true
495
00:32:29,862 --> 00:32:32,092
This is something I was born to do
496
00:32:32,306 --> 00:32:34,740
Steppin' out with a star
Bye. Bad times
497
00:32:34,827 --> 00:32:37,319
Steppin' out with a star
Hey. Good times
498
00:32:37,344 --> 00:32:41,132
Steppin' out with a star and feeling high
499
00:32:44,208 --> 00:32:46,085
Yeah!
500
00:32:46,270 --> 00:32:48,545
Well, how do I look?
501
00:32:49,588 --> 00:32:51,783
Which one are you?
502
00:32:51,931 --> 00:32:54,126
- I'm the one on the right.
- Oh.
503
00:32:54,288 --> 00:32:58,076
Well, y... you look like you're gonna
have a terrific time.
504
00:32:58,309 --> 00:33:00,823
Without me.
505
00:33:01,136 --> 00:33:03,445
- Fozzie?
- What?
506
00:33:04,556 --> 00:33:06,911
You can come.
507
00:33:07,058 --> 00:33:08,810
- You mean it?
- Mm-hm.
508
00:33:08,969 --> 00:33:11,324
Oh, boy!
509
00:33:11,378 --> 00:33:14,211
Great news, gang. We can go!
510
00:34:00,046 --> 00:34:02,560
Awfully disappointing weather today.
511
00:34:02,764 --> 00:34:04,755
Hm?
512
00:34:04,977 --> 00:34:07,696
The weather. Awfully disappointing today.
513
00:34:07,777 --> 00:34:12,168
Is it, is it? Yes. Mm, yes, yes.
I know what you mean.
514
00:34:20,332 --> 00:34:23,005
It was rather disappointing yesterday.
515
00:34:23,288 --> 00:34:25,677
And the day before.
516
00:34:33,278 --> 00:34:35,951
What is it, Neville?
517
00:34:39,081 --> 00:34:41,151
Um...
518
00:34:42,439 --> 00:34:47,672
Pig... um... climbing up
the outside of the house, dear.
519
00:34:47,994 --> 00:34:49,029
Oh.
520
00:35:00,268 --> 00:35:03,419
Next time they want stunts
they get a double.
521
00:35:03,986 --> 00:35:06,181
The day before that
was awfully disappointing too.
522
00:35:06,352 --> 00:35:07,990
Mm.
523
00:35:08,236 --> 00:35:12,149
And of course the weekend was
perfectly frightful. Never stopped raining.
524
00:35:22,545 --> 00:35:25,105
- Neville?
- Hm?
525
00:35:25,356 --> 00:35:27,950
- Am I boring you?
- What, dear?
526
00:35:28,170 --> 00:35:32,800
- I said, am I boring you?
- Boring me?
527
00:35:33,226 --> 00:35:37,458
That's a good one.
I'm having the time of my life, dear.
528
00:35:37,546 --> 00:35:42,336
Neville, did you say... a pig
was climbing up the outside of the house?
529
00:35:45,051 --> 00:35:49,044
- Yes. Yes. Yes, I believe I did, yes.
- I thought so.
530
00:35:49,850 --> 00:35:52,373
You'd have to look a long way
to find a chap
531
00:35:52,398 --> 00:35:56,437
who was more... stimulated than I am, yes.
532
00:35:56,607 --> 00:35:59,280
Oh, dear me, no, no, no.
533
00:36:00,738 --> 00:36:05,414
The last time I was bored -
and never by you, my little armada...
534
00:36:05,757 --> 00:36:07,952
- What was that?
- Just making a point, dear.
535
00:36:07,977 --> 00:36:10,286
I mean, if I was bored I'd go out
and buy something, wouldn't I?
536
00:36:10,500 --> 00:36:14,175
Like cheese or quails' eggs.
537
00:36:14,260 --> 00:36:16,933
- Something like that.
- Yes, I suppose you would.
538
00:36:17,364 --> 00:36:22,597
Yes, of course I would, dear. That's
the sort of spur-of-the-moment fellow I am.
539
00:36:23,012 --> 00:36:25,048
What?
540
00:36:26,636 --> 00:36:30,345
- What, dear?
- What would you buy if you were bored?
541
00:36:31,180 --> 00:36:33,853
Ah! Uh...
542
00:36:37,189 --> 00:36:39,828
A jar of calf's-foot jelly?
543
00:36:43,097 --> 00:36:45,372
I'd like to come with you
and help you pick one out.
544
00:36:45,590 --> 00:36:48,662
Oh, that isn't necessary, Dorcas.
There's no need for you to leave the house.
545
00:36:48,687 --> 00:36:52,123
I wouldn't mind.
Haven't been outside for 12 years.
546
00:36:52,505 --> 00:36:54,939
Well, the weather's
been most disappointing.
547
00:36:55,227 --> 00:36:57,980
Still, there's no reason
for me to stay here all the time.
548
00:36:58,201 --> 00:37:00,351
The children are gone, the pets are dead,
549
00:37:00,376 --> 00:37:03,334
the butler's been discharged,
no one ever visits us.
550
00:37:17,736 --> 00:37:20,091
That was the doorbell, Neville.
551
00:37:21,220 --> 00:37:23,859
So it was.
552
00:37:24,010 --> 00:37:27,480
- And the butler's dead?
- No, no, no.
553
00:37:27,641 --> 00:37:31,395
The pets are dead.
The butler's been discharged.
554
00:37:31,707 --> 00:37:33,698
Ah.
555
00:37:35,704 --> 00:37:37,485
I think one of us
should answer it, Neville.
556
00:37:37,510 --> 00:37:38,901
Oh, do you?
557
00:37:39,802 --> 00:37:42,236
Or we could both answer it.
558
00:37:42,486 --> 00:37:45,478
Come, dear, I hardly think it's necessary
for both of us to...
559
00:37:45,558 --> 00:37:47,833
I'll answer it!
560
00:37:53,515 --> 00:37:55,551
I thought you said the pets were dead.
561
00:37:57,617 --> 00:37:59,926
- Hello.
- Uh...
562
00:38:00,056 --> 00:38:02,092
This is for you.
563
00:38:02,316 --> 00:38:05,865
Oh, thank you. Shall we go?
564
00:38:06,833 --> 00:38:11,588
You know, I've never been inside
a real ritzy English house before.
565
00:38:12,637 --> 00:38:16,425
- Aren't you hungry?
- Sure, but we've got a few minutes.
566
00:38:16,688 --> 00:38:19,327
OK. Let's take a few minutes.
567
00:38:21,366 --> 00:38:26,121
- Say, nice place you got here.
- Yes. I practically stole it.
568
00:38:27,414 --> 00:38:29,820
Let me show you around.
569
00:38:29,845 --> 00:38:33,838
- Who was that guy back there?
- Oh. Just some sort of servant.
570
00:38:34,063 --> 00:38:36,054
This, of course, is the drawing room.
571
00:38:36,269 --> 00:38:39,102
Did you decorate this place yourself?
572
00:38:40,115 --> 00:38:44,631
I'll just close the door.
It's very draughty.
573
00:38:46,158 --> 00:38:48,228
There's a chair and some walls.
574
00:38:48,651 --> 00:38:51,072
- A whirlwind tour, huh?
- Yes.
575
00:38:51,097 --> 00:38:54,487
This is the bedroom and, uh... bath.
576
00:38:55,877 --> 00:38:58,027
We have hot and cold running water.
577
00:38:58,052 --> 00:39:01,567
There's probably a bathtub and everything.
578
00:39:04,610 --> 00:39:08,683
Oh, here. I want to show you something.
This is the closet.
579
00:39:09,916 --> 00:39:12,191
Nice. Dark but nice.
580
00:39:18,956 --> 00:39:21,186
Ah. Sorry.
581
00:39:24,303 --> 00:39:30,094
Don't think me rude, but is there,
in fact, anything I can do for you at all?
582
00:39:32,065 --> 00:39:33,976
Um...
583
00:39:34,292 --> 00:39:37,250
Yes. Yes, yes.
584
00:39:37,409 --> 00:39:40,003
You may suggest a nice restaurant.
585
00:39:40,418 --> 00:39:42,873
Ah. Well, there's the Dubonnet Club.
586
00:39:42,898 --> 00:39:45,776
Actually that's not so much a restaurant,
more a supper club.
587
00:39:46,027 --> 00:39:47,062
Ah.
588
00:39:47,087 --> 00:39:50,921
Thank you, Jeeves. No time for cocktails.
589
00:39:51,234 --> 00:39:53,543
Evening.
590
00:39:59,461 --> 00:40:01,816
Why are you staring into the closet,
Neville?
591
00:40:02,017 --> 00:40:04,975
You recall that pig I mentioned?
592
00:40:05,112 --> 00:40:06,756
The one that was climbing
up the side of the house?
593
00:40:06,781 --> 00:40:09,704
- That's the chap. That's the chap.
- Yes, I seem to recall that.
594
00:40:09,729 --> 00:40:13,517
Well, he was in there just now,
along with a... a lizard.
595
00:40:13,852 --> 00:40:16,047
I see. And what did they want?
596
00:40:16,132 --> 00:40:19,090
Name of a good restaurant.
I told them the Dubonnet Club.
597
00:40:19,267 --> 00:40:21,239
That's more of a supper club
than a restaurant.
598
00:40:21,264 --> 00:40:22,936
Yes, well, I tried to tell them that.
599
00:40:23,115 --> 00:40:26,630
- Don't blame yourself.
- No.
600
00:40:26,890 --> 00:40:28,164
No.
601
00:40:30,829 --> 00:40:33,468
Hey! There they are!
602
00:40:33,754 --> 00:40:36,029
Kermit and his new flame.
603
00:40:36,207 --> 00:40:38,960
- Hubba hubba.
- Ding ding!
604
00:40:41,305 --> 00:40:46,823
You'll have to jump in the front seat.
The back seat's been quarantined.
605
00:40:48,443 --> 00:40:50,880
Let's hit the road.
How about a little travelling music?
606
00:40:50,905 --> 00:40:55,420
- For sure. A love song.
- Love song, love song.
607
00:40:55,445 --> 00:40:59,040
Hit it!
608
00:41:03,558 --> 00:41:06,657
Give me my good friends
and play me my music
609
00:41:06,682 --> 00:41:08,912
Yeah. Give me my night life
610
00:41:10,405 --> 00:41:13,516
Talk me that guitar
and roll me that boogie
611
00:41:13,541 --> 00:41:15,930
Yeah. Give me my night life
612
00:41:18,017 --> 00:41:21,930
- Are these your friends?
- Just the ones on the fenders.
613
00:41:27,230 --> 00:41:30,411
Sing me the good times
cos I need the feeling
614
00:41:30,436 --> 00:41:32,825
Yeah. Give me that night life
615
00:41:45,855 --> 00:41:49,127
Give me my night life
616
00:41:49,152 --> 00:41:51,222
Whoo. Yeah
617
00:41:54,165 --> 00:41:56,474
Give me my night life
618
00:41:59,070 --> 00:42:03,063
- They don't have to play this loud.
- That's OK. They don't mind.
619
00:42:06,027 --> 00:42:09,399
Sing me the good times
cos I need the feeling
620
00:42:09,424 --> 00:42:11,733
Give me my night life
621
00:42:14,628 --> 00:42:17,017
Give me my night life
622
00:42:44,350 --> 00:42:48,059
Boy, a classy place like this you'd think
they'd have pretzels on the table.
623
00:42:51,023 --> 00:42:54,732
Well, what a delightful menu.
624
00:42:54,862 --> 00:42:58,192
- What?
- Nothing. It's just sort of amusing
625
00:42:58,217 --> 00:43:02,733
that the roast beef is the same price
as an Oldsmobile.
626
00:43:02,973 --> 00:43:04,964
You come here often, Lady Holiday?
627
00:43:05,240 --> 00:43:08,152
Oh, only on special occasions.
628
00:43:08,287 --> 00:43:11,006
And this is very special, Kermie.
629
00:43:11,244 --> 00:43:13,633
Waiter! Champagne, caviar.
630
00:43:13,818 --> 00:43:17,493
Hey, hey, Kermit.
How are we gonna pay for this?
631
00:43:17,702 --> 00:43:23,459
- You got about 1600 bucks on you?
- Hey, relax, Kermit. I'll take care of it.
632
00:43:27,623 --> 00:43:30,615
Say cheese!
633
00:43:30,784 --> 00:43:32,934
There you go, folks. Souvenir photograph.
634
00:43:33,031 --> 00:43:36,023
Just gimme your name and address
and ten bucks.
635
00:43:43,204 --> 00:43:45,718
Good evening, Lady Holiday.
Such a pleasure to see you.
636
00:43:45,772 --> 00:43:49,606
- Thank you, Stanley.
- Why, what a lovely diamond necklace.
637
00:43:50,516 --> 00:43:52,825
It is rather breathtaking, isn't it?
638
00:43:52,850 --> 00:43:57,082
I thought it a little outr�, but my brother
Nicky insisted that I wear it.
639
00:43:58,203 --> 00:43:59,318
Your table, Lady Holiday.
640
00:43:59,343 --> 00:44:01,459
Thank you, Stanley.
Give Stanley a tip, Nicky.
641
00:44:01,635 --> 00:44:04,593
- For complimenting you on your necklace?
- No, because it is customary.
642
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,572
- I don't have any change.
- Then give him something bigger.
643
00:44:07,597 --> 00:44:08,666
Bigger?
644
00:44:08,804 --> 00:44:12,240
- I left my wallet at home.
- You left your wallet in college.
645
00:44:12,433 --> 00:44:14,708
How about you, folks?
Souvenir photograph?
646
00:44:15,035 --> 00:44:15,990
No thanks. No picture.
647
00:44:16,015 --> 00:44:18,927
Aw, come on. It'll be a great memento
for you and your wife.
648
00:44:19,100 --> 00:44:20,931
My wife isn't feeling very well.
649
00:44:21,183 --> 00:44:23,617
That's too bad.
Maybe she should be at home.
650
00:44:23,781 --> 00:44:26,136
My wife is at home.
651
00:44:26,580 --> 00:44:29,378
Yes. Next table!
652
00:44:37,464 --> 00:44:40,456
That caviar was yummy. Mwah!
653
00:44:40,614 --> 00:44:44,289
Love those fish eggs!
654
00:44:44,593 --> 00:44:47,824
- Uh, Lady Holiday?
- Oh. Yes?
655
00:44:48,061 --> 00:44:50,177
Can we talk about the jewel robbery now?
656
00:44:50,332 --> 00:44:53,165
Oh, Kermit. Let us not talk business.
657
00:44:53,518 --> 00:44:58,148
Music is in the air, the night is young,
and I'm so beautiful.
658
00:44:59,211 --> 00:45:03,045
- What jewel robbery?
- Your jewels. The ones that were stolen.
659
00:45:03,389 --> 00:45:07,143
You know, you have lovely eyes.
660
00:45:16,993 --> 00:45:18,360
You know, if you put
enough sugar in this
661
00:45:18,385 --> 00:45:20,745
stuff it tastes just
like ginger ale.
662
00:45:23,446 --> 00:45:27,803
Catch you later, Stanley.
Aren't you happy we're here?
663
00:45:28,152 --> 00:45:31,224
I have grave doubts
about wearing these jewels.
664
00:45:31,383 --> 00:45:33,499
I feel as if thieves
were breathing down my neck.
665
00:45:33,786 --> 00:45:35,504
Thieves aren't breathing down your neck.
666
00:45:35,664 --> 00:45:37,097
- I want to put them in a safe.
- No.
667
00:45:37,176 --> 00:45:38,602
- Yes.
- Yes, I meant yes.
668
00:45:38,627 --> 00:45:40,697
Why would I say no when I meant yes?
669
00:45:40,811 --> 00:45:42,515
- Go and see Stanley.
- Go and see Stanley?
670
00:45:42,540 --> 00:45:47,136
- Go and see Stanley immediately.
- All right. If that's what you want.
671
00:45:47,289 --> 00:45:51,043
- And don't forget to tip him.
- Tip. Tip.
672
00:47:02,348 --> 00:47:05,738
The first time you see her
673
00:47:05,867 --> 00:47:09,257
No bolt from the blue
674
00:47:09,448 --> 00:47:12,804
Just something so quiet
675
00:47:13,255 --> 00:47:16,804
Yet waiting for you
676
00:47:17,036 --> 00:47:20,472
With no one to tell you
677
00:47:20,619 --> 00:47:23,770
That you've got to go
678
00:47:24,328 --> 00:47:29,960
The first time it happens. You know
679
00:47:31,753 --> 00:47:35,143
The first time you see her
680
00:47:35,206 --> 00:47:38,815
No magical change
681
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:42,462
No angels appearing
682
00:47:42,487 --> 00:47:46,446
No dreams to arrange
683
00:47:46,792 --> 00:47:49,784
Just warmer and colder
684
00:47:49,919 --> 00:47:53,355
Than springtime or snow
685
00:47:53,548 --> 00:47:58,099
The first time it happens. You know
686
00:48:00,202 --> 00:48:03,831
And so you fall
687
00:48:03,922 --> 00:48:07,198
And how complete it is
688
00:48:07,493 --> 00:48:11,771
And for each moment that it lasts
689
00:48:12,002 --> 00:48:15,392
How sweet it is
690
00:48:15,614 --> 00:48:19,050
The first time together
691
00:48:19,181 --> 00:48:22,617
How simple. How rare
692
00:48:22,919 --> 00:48:25,433
And just when you thought
693
00:48:25,458 --> 00:48:29,895
You'd forgot how to care
694
00:48:30,313 --> 00:48:33,703
And though you feel much more
695
00:48:33,833 --> 00:48:37,269
Than you dare to show
696
00:48:37,618 --> 00:48:42,817
The first time it happens. You know
697
00:48:47,416 --> 00:48:49,566
Wow. She's fantastic.
698
00:48:55,744 --> 00:48:58,502
The first time you see her
699
00:48:58,527 --> 00:49:01,919
No magical change
700
00:49:01,944 --> 00:49:05,255
No angels appearing
701
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:08,605
No dreams to arrange
702
00:49:08,630 --> 00:49:12,006
Just warmer and colder
703
00:49:12,031 --> 00:49:15,068
Than springtime or snow
704
00:49:15,277 --> 00:49:19,669
The first time it happens. You know
705
00:49:19,694 --> 00:49:22,162
What a great number!
706
00:49:27,806 --> 00:49:29,125
Nicky?
707
00:49:29,215 --> 00:49:31,331
That's my new receptionist
dancing out there.
708
00:49:31,446 --> 00:49:33,914
- Which one?
- The pig.
709
00:49:37,655 --> 00:49:42,251
- She's sensational.
- 45 words a minute. About average.
710
00:49:55,318 --> 00:49:57,762
And just when you thought
711
00:49:57,787 --> 00:50:03,837
- You'd forgot how to care
- For the first time
712
00:50:03,862 --> 00:50:06,422
For the first time
713
00:50:08,431 --> 00:50:11,150
A-ha!
714
00:50:28,687 --> 00:50:31,679
The first time it happens
715
00:50:31,899 --> 00:50:34,811
The moment it happens
716
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:38,276
Then suddenly there's a whole new world
717
00:50:38,301 --> 00:50:41,360
The first time it happens
718
00:50:41,387 --> 00:50:44,379
The first time it happens
719
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:49,469
The first time it happens
720
00:50:50,930 --> 00:50:53,763
You know
721
00:51:07,128 --> 00:51:10,518
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
722
00:51:15,279 --> 00:51:17,554
Aieee!
723
00:51:17,717 --> 00:51:19,912
Lady Holiday! What's happened?
724
00:51:20,076 --> 00:51:23,953
- Was it you that screamed, "Aieee!"?
- She screamed right into my ear.
725
00:51:23,978 --> 00:51:26,208
Of course I screamed.
Somebody's just stolen my necklace.
726
00:51:26,377 --> 00:51:28,811
I told you this would happen.
That necklace was worth a fortune.
727
00:51:29,256 --> 00:51:30,894
- Do something.
- What do you want me to do?
728
00:51:30,919 --> 00:51:33,638
I spilled ketchup all over my cummerbund.
729
00:51:33,830 --> 00:51:35,900
For God's sake. Straighten that tie.
730
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:40,034
It's Lady Holiday, her necklace,
it's been stolen.
731
00:51:40,229 --> 00:51:42,697
"Lady Holiday"? But I thought...
732
00:51:43,568 --> 00:51:46,526
Kermit. I think I've got a picture of the thief.
733
00:51:46,913 --> 00:51:49,871
- Oh, great.
- Yeah!
734
00:51:50,023 --> 00:51:52,014
But...
735
00:52:23,137 --> 00:52:28,265
This is great, Gonzo. You popped the flash
just before the soup landed on his tie.
736
00:52:28,426 --> 00:52:30,621
Yeah, well, photography's an art.
737
00:52:30,729 --> 00:52:33,881
You gotta have the right film,
you gotta have the right exposure,
738
00:52:33,917 --> 00:52:36,715
and you gotta scream
just before they get the food to their mouth.
739
00:52:38,113 --> 00:52:42,254
What's going on in there? Lot
of folks out here want to use the rest room.
740
00:52:42,308 --> 00:52:45,061
Well, we're developing these pictures.
We'll be out as soon as we finish.
741
00:52:45,208 --> 00:52:47,584
- We're trying to catch a jewel thief.
- A jewel thief.
742
00:52:47,609 --> 00:52:49,490
Well, catch him in another room.
743
00:52:49,515 --> 00:52:52,871
People are dancing up and down
on one leg out here.
744
00:52:53,115 --> 00:52:56,505
Hurry, Gonzo. There's gotta be a picture of
somebody taking Lady Holiday's necklace.
745
00:52:56,970 --> 00:53:00,849
Well, I don't know.
I still think that pig took it.
746
00:53:00,874 --> 00:53:03,593
- She wouldn't steal.
- Why not? She lied.
747
00:53:03,838 --> 00:53:06,684
That's two different things. Besides,
she couldn't have stolen the necklace
748
00:53:06,709 --> 00:53:09,001
because she was dancing.
749
00:53:09,026 --> 00:53:13,816
That's right. There's that old adage: You
can't dance and steal at the same time.
750
00:53:14,047 --> 00:53:16,880
No, that's "You can't walk
and chew gum at the same time."
751
00:53:17,083 --> 00:53:19,003
Oh, no. I think it's
"You can't pat your
752
00:53:19,028 --> 00:53:20,957
head and rub your
stomach at the same time."
753
00:53:20,982 --> 00:53:23,123
What's the difference?
She didn't steal the necklace.
754
00:53:23,148 --> 00:53:24,618
- I bet you I can do it.
- Do what?
755
00:53:24,643 --> 00:53:26,952
Pat my head and rub my stomach
at the same time.
756
00:53:27,137 --> 00:53:30,288
Big deal, anybody can do that.
757
00:53:31,390 --> 00:53:33,699
Would you guys cut it out?
We're wasting time.
758
00:53:38,816 --> 00:53:41,694
- Hey, here it is.
- What? What? What? What?
759
00:53:42,001 --> 00:53:44,101
Look at that.
It's that guy sitting next to Lady Holiday
760
00:53:44,126 --> 00:53:45,501
and those girls standing in the back.
761
00:53:45,526 --> 00:53:48,279
It's probably the same gang
that pulled that first job.
762
00:53:48,525 --> 00:53:49,162
Wow!
763
00:53:49,187 --> 00:53:52,941
Yes, and we got them
with their hands in the cookie jar.
764
00:53:54,559 --> 00:53:57,995
- What's going on?
- What is this, anyway?
765
00:53:58,149 --> 00:54:00,379
Aw.
766
00:54:00,720 --> 00:54:03,792
The cookie jar just busted.
767
00:54:12,493 --> 00:54:15,883
- Look, Dad. There's a bear.
- No, Christine, that's a frog.
768
00:54:16,247 --> 00:54:18,317
Bears wear hats.
769
00:54:28,368 --> 00:54:30,962
How you doing, young fella?
770
00:54:31,243 --> 00:54:33,313
OK, I guess.
771
00:54:33,457 --> 00:54:35,846
Penny for your thoughts.
772
00:54:36,024 --> 00:54:38,369
Well, it's a long story.
773
00:54:39,275 --> 00:54:42,790
- But a familiar one, I bet.
- Mm.
774
00:54:43,478 --> 00:54:44,831
Older than the hills.
775
00:54:44,950 --> 00:54:48,909
I've been there, my friend.
I've been there and back.
776
00:54:49,209 --> 00:54:52,406
You know, I see the way you're sitting here
777
00:54:52,606 --> 00:54:54,240
and I see the way you've
got your hand around
778
00:54:54,264 --> 00:54:55,785
that little shoe,
and that's all I need.
779
00:54:55,810 --> 00:54:58,927
- I know your whole story.
- You do?
780
00:54:59,216 --> 00:55:03,892
Absolutely.
I know exactly what happened to you.
781
00:55:04,140 --> 00:55:06,608
- What?
- Well, I tell you, friend.
782
00:55:06,747 --> 00:55:10,342
What happened was
you and your brother-in-law Bernie,
783
00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:14,433
you cashed in your stock certificates
and your insurance policy
784
00:55:14,458 --> 00:55:18,167
and you went out and bought
a dry-cleaning establishment.
785
00:55:18,598 --> 00:55:22,637
Now another place opens up
down the street and it's charging less.
786
00:55:22,858 --> 00:55:25,774
And they're getting the stuff out faster
because they got more help.
787
00:55:25,815 --> 00:55:28,887
It's not your fault. Right?
788
00:55:29,147 --> 00:55:31,502
All right. So Bernie comes to you, he says:
789
00:55:31,626 --> 00:55:34,698
"I want you to buy me out."
He says he's fed up.
790
00:55:34,950 --> 00:55:37,987
Well, your kids are growing up,
you never see 'em
791
00:55:38,195 --> 00:55:40,897
and all of a sudden,
they're turning into juvenile delinquents
792
00:55:40,922 --> 00:55:42,214
and your wife is saying to you:
793
00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:45,868
"Listen, you care more about this
lousy business than you care about me."
794
00:55:46,146 --> 00:55:49,647
And the equipment breaks down
and your sister moves in with you
795
00:55:49,672 --> 00:55:52,345
because that jerk Bernie,
he went and joined the circus.
796
00:55:52,573 --> 00:55:54,848
Well, you had it up to here, right?
797
00:55:55,050 --> 00:55:57,200
You didn't know what to do.
798
00:55:57,391 --> 00:56:01,179
So what did you do?
You did the only thing you could do.
799
00:56:01,204 --> 00:56:03,195
You dumped the business for a song.
800
00:56:03,578 --> 00:56:05,455
- And who did you sell it to?
- Who?
801
00:56:05,632 --> 00:56:07,987
You sold it to that jerk
down the street, that
802
00:56:08,011 --> 00:56:10,262
slob that had been
burying you for a year.
803
00:56:10,555 --> 00:56:12,785
Then you took whatever money
you had left
804
00:56:12,953 --> 00:56:15,865
and you sunk it
into the glass slipper business.
805
00:56:16,070 --> 00:56:19,301
That's your story, my friend.
Not a happy one, is it?
806
00:56:22,807 --> 00:56:26,038
You know, it's amazing.
You are 100 per cent wrong.
807
00:56:26,275 --> 00:56:28,505
I mean, nothing you've said has been right.
808
00:56:29,049 --> 00:56:31,279
Oh, yeah?
809
00:56:33,245 --> 00:56:35,281
Well, how about this?
810
00:56:35,443 --> 00:56:38,958
I hate to be rude,
but we're trying to do a movie here.
811
00:56:39,254 --> 00:56:41,290
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hm.
812
00:56:41,436 --> 00:56:44,428
Oh, I didn't know that. Gee, I'm sorry.
813
00:56:44,563 --> 00:56:46,952
Listen, one thing, son.
814
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:50,798
Would you like to buy a watch?
815
00:56:52,698 --> 00:56:54,814
No.
816
00:56:57,303 --> 00:56:59,055
Movie stars.
817
00:57:01,738 --> 00:57:04,650
Get your filthy hands off me!
818
00:57:05,472 --> 00:57:09,829
- I beg your pardon, young lady!
- Just keep your hands to yourself, turkey.
819
00:57:10,185 --> 00:57:13,063
Hey, you.
820
00:57:13,216 --> 00:57:17,448
Well, well, well.
If it isn't the fake Lady Holiday.
821
00:57:17,801 --> 00:57:18,790
Hello.
822
00:57:19,873 --> 00:57:23,183
"Hello"? Last night
you never even said goodbye.
823
00:57:23,542 --> 00:57:26,932
Kermit, that was just silliness.
824
00:57:27,082 --> 00:57:29,994
But you lied to me. You used me.
825
00:57:31,110 --> 00:57:34,147
Oh, Kermit, please,
let me explain. Kermit.
826
00:57:34,386 --> 00:57:37,696
- My name is Miss Piggy. I am a model.
- Yeah.
827
00:57:37,849 --> 00:57:41,046
I only lied because I
wanted to be with you.
828
00:57:41,356 --> 00:57:44,314
Yeah, well, I saw the way
you were dancing with that guy last night.
829
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:46,875
- Oh, Kermit.
- Well, lemme tell you something.
830
00:57:47,046 --> 00:57:52,325
Your dancing partner happens to be
a jewel thief. What do you think of that?
831
00:57:52,601 --> 00:57:56,037
- You're jealous.
- I am not.
832
00:57:56,309 --> 00:57:58,982
You are. You are, you
are, you are, you are.
833
00:58:00,833 --> 00:58:03,506
Kermit, I'm sorry.
Please don't go, Kermit. Please.
834
00:58:03,632 --> 00:58:06,908
Please don't go. Kermit, please.
Oh, please, I'm sorry. Please.
835
00:58:07,226 --> 00:58:09,057
- Piggy. Piggy, hold it.
- Please, please, please.
836
00:58:09,177 --> 00:58:11,611
- Piggy. Piggy?
- Please, please, please.
837
00:58:11,775 --> 00:58:13,731
- You're overacting.
- What?
838
00:58:13,925 --> 00:58:16,200
You're overacting. You're hamming it up.
839
00:58:16,395 --> 00:58:18,829
I am not. I am trying to save this movie.
840
00:58:18,962 --> 00:58:21,032
Oh, yeah?
Well, save your performance instead.
841
00:58:21,806 --> 00:58:25,311
- I am playing 800 different emotions.
- Well, try to play one of them right.
842
00:58:25,336 --> 00:58:27,531
Oh, oh! I have a career of my own.
843
00:58:27,647 --> 00:58:30,701
- I know all about your career, Pig.
- I don't need this lousy duck pond here.
844
00:58:30,726 --> 00:58:32,364
- Sure you don't need a lousy duck pond.
- I'll just walk.
845
00:58:32,428 --> 00:58:34,862
- OK, sure. Go ahead, walk. OK?
- Should I walk? Then I'll walk.
846
00:58:34,887 --> 00:58:37,117
Walk! Go ahead and walk.
847
00:58:38,982 --> 00:58:41,052
Oh, Piggy.
848
00:58:42,656 --> 00:58:45,045
- Listen.
- I'm doing my best.
849
00:58:45,981 --> 00:58:48,176
I know you are.
850
00:58:48,201 --> 00:58:51,079
Piggy, I'm sorry.
851
00:58:51,281 --> 00:58:52,834
We gotta get back
to the movie though.
852
00:58:52,858 --> 00:58:54,876
All right. All right,
all right, all right.
853
00:58:56,756 --> 00:59:00,112
Kermit, I'm sorry I left you
last night at the nightclub.
854
00:59:00,914 --> 00:59:03,474
Well, that's OK, Piggy.
855
00:59:04,100 --> 00:59:07,649
- Oh, Kermie.
- Oh, Piggy.
856
00:59:23,282 --> 00:59:26,718
Pretty day. Sunny sky
857
00:59:26,989 --> 00:59:30,584
Lovely pictures dance in your eye
858
00:59:31,131 --> 00:59:34,965
It all seems so right
859
00:59:34,990 --> 00:59:38,107
It all feels so rare
860
00:59:40,345 --> 00:59:43,966
Summer soft sudden breeze
861
00:59:43,991 --> 00:59:47,870
Watch the wind play tag in the trees
862
00:59:48,043 --> 00:59:51,433
The world is so bright
863
00:59:51,843 --> 00:59:57,076
So perfectly fair
864
00:59:57,304 --> 01:00:00,694
Lovers sing. Children dance
865
01:00:00,972 --> 01:00:04,442
For a minute. We've got a chance
866
01:00:04,907 --> 01:00:08,456
Why couldn't we fly?
867
01:00:08,641 --> 01:00:13,192
I know we'd get by
868
01:00:13,898 --> 01:00:17,971
Couldn't we fly?
869
01:00:21,806 --> 01:00:25,401
Sunny sky. Pretty day
870
01:00:25,534 --> 01:00:29,322
Just a push and we're on the way
871
01:00:29,578 --> 01:00:33,048
Yes. Couldn't we ride
872
01:00:33,575 --> 01:00:37,568
Side by side?
873
01:00:42,717 --> 01:00:44,628
Whoa!
874
01:00:50,062 --> 01:00:52,451
Whoa!
875
01:00:53,458 --> 01:00:56,655
"Look, Ma, no brains."
876
01:00:57,285 --> 01:01:00,800
Hup. Whoo, Miss Piggy.
877
01:01:02,447 --> 01:01:04,403
Whoa!
878
01:01:04,744 --> 01:01:06,257
Wah! Oof!
879
01:01:26,292 --> 01:01:29,887
Why couldn't we fly?
880
01:01:30,112 --> 01:01:34,788
I know we'd get by
881
01:01:35,466 --> 01:01:39,101
- Sunny sky
- Pretty day
882
01:01:39,126 --> 01:01:43,039
Just a push and we're on the way
883
01:01:43,332 --> 01:01:46,722
Yes. Couldn't we ride
884
01:01:47,312 --> 01:01:51,146
Side by side?
885
01:01:51,171 --> 01:01:56,803
Couldn't we ride?
886
01:02:12,888 --> 01:02:15,766
Gangway! Watch it. Coming through.
887
01:02:16,473 --> 01:02:18,388
She's wonderful. She's so wonderful.
888
01:02:18,413 --> 01:02:21,485
She certainly seems to know
where she's going. It's time.
889
01:02:23,565 --> 01:02:26,033
All right, everybody.
Keep it moving. Don't linger.
890
01:02:26,383 --> 01:02:28,419
We just want to give them a hint,
a taste, a soup�on.
891
01:02:28,444 --> 01:02:30,241
Appetisers not four-course meals.
892
01:02:30,382 --> 01:02:32,816
Marie. I don't think we should chew gum.
893
01:02:33,725 --> 01:02:38,241
Stephanie, those false eyelashes are
coming unglued. Those shoes are scuffed.
894
01:02:38,493 --> 01:02:40,882
- I know where they are. I'll get them...
- Sorry.
895
01:02:41,027 --> 01:02:44,144
Watch it, buster. Oh.
Mr Holiday, I'm sorry.
896
01:02:44,384 --> 01:02:46,261
Hello.
897
01:02:46,352 --> 01:02:47,580
- Miss...
- Piggy.
898
01:02:47,750 --> 01:02:48,899
- Miss Piggy?
- Right.
899
01:02:49,131 --> 01:02:51,087
Of course.
900
01:02:51,256 --> 01:02:54,134
Have dinner with me tonight.
901
01:02:54,302 --> 01:02:56,657
Mr Holiday, really, I'm very busy.
902
01:02:56,860 --> 01:02:59,681
- Could we meet just for a moment?
- Underwear, underwear, underwear.
903
01:02:59,706 --> 01:03:02,459
Just one brief moment, Miss Piggy. Miss...
904
01:03:02,711 --> 01:03:03,461
Hm?
905
01:03:03,589 --> 01:03:06,183
Miss Piggy.
906
01:03:06,348 --> 01:03:09,340
You're a very different-looking woman.
907
01:03:09,639 --> 01:03:13,069
I'm so tired of the same type.
Those tall, thin creatures
908
01:03:13,094 --> 01:03:16,575
with the long legs, the aquiline noses,
909
01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:20,070
the teeth like pearls, soft skin.
910
01:03:20,340 --> 01:03:23,855
Yeah, well, I can see why
that might make you sick to your stomach.
911
01:03:23,932 --> 01:03:25,924
- Please now... Please...
- Miss Piggy.
912
01:03:25,984 --> 01:03:28,896
No! Please! No. Please, please.
913
01:03:30,035 --> 01:03:33,391
Don't put a door between us.
914
01:03:34,511 --> 01:03:35,785
- Hi.
- Oh, Kermit.
915
01:03:35,942 --> 01:03:39,457
I was looking for the men's room.
916
01:03:39,669 --> 01:03:42,627
Kermit, I just want you to meet someone.
This is Nicky Holiday.
917
01:03:42,886 --> 01:03:45,844
Mr Holiday,
this is Kermit, my special friend.
918
01:03:46,667 --> 01:03:48,100
Oh.
919
01:03:49,378 --> 01:03:51,812
Nice to meet you.
920
01:03:52,038 --> 01:03:54,427
Well, excuse me.
921
01:03:56,619 --> 01:03:59,497
- Need I say more?
- He's a frog, isn't he?
922
01:04:00,454 --> 01:04:02,649
Yes.
923
01:04:05,307 --> 01:04:07,457
Miss Piggy.
924
01:04:08,647 --> 01:04:12,322
We could've had something
very, very special.
925
01:04:13,507 --> 01:04:16,783
Now, I can't be responsible
for what might happen.
926
01:04:17,062 --> 01:04:19,496
Yeah, well, uh...
927
01:04:19,715 --> 01:04:22,104
C'est la vie.
928
01:04:23,297 --> 01:04:25,606
I don't know why you love her like you do.
929
01:04:25,884 --> 01:04:29,194
I don't know why. I just do.
930
01:04:29,323 --> 01:04:31,473
Well, you'd better
snap out of it, and fast.
931
01:04:31,498 --> 01:04:34,151
We've got to plant the goods on her
to take the heat off us.
932
01:04:34,176 --> 01:04:36,246
I know the plan.
I just wish there was another way.
933
01:04:36,358 --> 01:04:39,270
It's the only way. Especially now
the cops are starting to ask questions.
934
01:04:39,596 --> 01:04:43,225
OK, I'll do my job.
When I give the signal, you do yours.
935
01:04:43,429 --> 01:04:46,660
Forgive me, Miss Piggy.
936
01:04:48,838 --> 01:04:51,796
- Am I dressed right for this?
- You look fine, Fozzie.
937
01:04:51,821 --> 01:04:53,937
Thank you.
938
01:04:54,211 --> 01:04:57,726
And now,
without further ado,
939
01:04:58,053 --> 01:05:01,011
roses, hyacinths,
940
01:05:01,139 --> 01:05:04,211
lilacs and bluebells
941
01:05:04,401 --> 01:05:08,592
- make up our first fashion bouquet.
- Ooh!
942
01:05:09,284 --> 01:05:13,118
- Pretty nice lines, huh?
- Yes and the dresses aren't bad either.
943
01:05:13,406 --> 01:05:16,079
Here's capricious Carla,
944
01:05:16,277 --> 01:05:19,428
a dream in hyacinth-blue chiffon
945
01:05:19,618 --> 01:05:24,055
with the classic allure
of the white pleated collar and cuffs.
946
01:05:24,271 --> 01:05:26,546
The skirt, a flutter of godets,
947
01:05:26,826 --> 01:05:30,182
all complemented
by the cloudy folds of blue
948
01:05:30,367 --> 01:05:34,121
forming the perfect flower-framing hat.
949
01:05:34,434 --> 01:05:37,187
Fantastique. And thank you, Carla.
950
01:05:37,313 --> 01:05:38,607
Pretty good-looking duds.
951
01:05:38,631 --> 01:05:41,022
I found the white
pleated collar alluring,
952
01:05:41,168 --> 01:05:44,922
but I was rather taken aback
by the flutter of godets.
953
01:05:45,297 --> 01:05:46,616
Mm-hm.
954
01:05:47,636 --> 01:05:51,185
And now here's delicious Darla
955
01:05:51,483 --> 01:05:53,439
in a swirl of apricot silk
956
01:05:53,640 --> 01:05:57,394
above a tight bodice
with a cleverly-draped d�colletage.
957
01:05:58,397 --> 01:06:03,517
Finishing with roses to match the
confection of flowers and silk on her head,
958
01:06:03,878 --> 01:06:06,836
forming a teeny-weeny hat.
959
01:06:12,832 --> 01:06:15,710
Oh. Ow! My knee. I think I've twisted it.
960
01:06:15,971 --> 01:06:18,525
You all right? You've got to get up!
You've got to go on!
961
01:06:18,550 --> 01:06:20,859
I can't go on!
962
01:06:20,918 --> 01:06:23,227
Oh! You poor thing.
963
01:06:23,420 --> 01:06:26,856
Oh, don't worry, Marla.
I'll stay right here with you.
964
01:06:27,018 --> 01:06:30,693
You can't. You've got
to go on in her place.
965
01:06:33,884 --> 01:06:38,002
And now, the Lady Holiday
swimwear collection.
966
01:06:38,279 --> 01:06:41,555
Hey, Waldorf, wake up.
Here come the bikinis.
967
01:06:41,795 --> 01:06:44,468
Oh, boy. We'd better
synchronise our pacemakers.
968
01:06:44,822 --> 01:06:50,738
A cloud of lavender starburst pleating
surrounds our next model.
969
01:06:51,900 --> 01:06:54,812
Oh, I say!
970
01:07:51,839 --> 01:07:54,876
A miracle of spring
971
01:07:55,014 --> 01:07:58,086
A miracle of beauty
972
01:07:58,252 --> 01:08:04,248
Be dazzled by the magic of one smile
973
01:08:04,621 --> 01:08:07,579
A vision of loveliness
974
01:08:07,716 --> 01:08:09,991
A universe of charms
975
01:08:10,364 --> 01:08:15,882
We'll never rest until you're in our arms
976
01:08:24,937 --> 01:08:27,895
Daffodils. Miss Piggy
977
01:08:28,203 --> 01:08:31,559
Whippoorwills. Miss Piggy
978
01:08:31,721 --> 01:08:38,115
Everything that's lovely.
Warm and spring. Miss Piggy
979
01:08:38,513 --> 01:08:41,823
Fantasy. Miss Piggy
980
01:08:41,906 --> 01:08:45,023
Ecstasy. Miss Piggy
981
01:08:45,317 --> 01:08:48,115
All that's fair or fine or wonderful
982
01:08:48,884 --> 01:08:52,194
Or anything. Miss Piggy
983
01:08:52,285 --> 01:08:58,042
Where does the rapture
begin and grow?
984
01:08:58,343 --> 01:09:05,215
Where does devotion and passion go?
985
01:09:05,631 --> 01:09:08,907
Happiness. Miss Piggy
986
01:09:08,932 --> 01:09:12,208
One caress. Miss Piggy
987
01:09:12,233 --> 01:09:16,226
All the world's ever wanted was you
988
01:09:16,596 --> 01:09:19,349
A dream come true
989
01:09:19,436 --> 01:09:23,748
Oh. Miss Piggy. It's you
990
01:09:39,041 --> 01:09:45,435
Where does the rapture
begin and grow?
991
01:09:45,562 --> 01:09:51,478
Where does devotion and passion go?
992
01:09:52,864 --> 01:09:56,220
Happiness. Miss Piggy
993
01:09:56,245 --> 01:09:59,362
One caress. Miss Piggy
994
01:09:59,542 --> 01:10:03,660
All the world's ever wanted was you
995
01:10:03,899 --> 01:10:06,413
A dream come true
996
01:10:17,424 --> 01:10:21,542
Oh. Miss Piggy. It's you
997
01:10:21,624 --> 01:10:23,342
It's you
998
01:10:23,544 --> 01:10:26,661
It's you
999
01:10:42,928 --> 01:10:45,442
Oh, Miss Piggy, are you OK?
1000
01:10:45,583 --> 01:10:50,213
Yeah, sure.
I was just looking for my contact lens.
1001
01:10:57,899 --> 01:11:00,333
Excuse me. Excuse me.
1002
01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:03,558
Oh, dear. Oh, you poor thing.
1003
01:11:03,687 --> 01:11:06,247
Excuse me. Here, put this on.
1004
01:11:06,483 --> 01:11:08,280
- You'll get a chill.
- Thank you very much.
1005
01:11:08,324 --> 01:11:09,848
- You all right?
- I don't know what happened.
1006
01:11:09,873 --> 01:11:11,943
I must've tripped.
1007
01:11:12,008 --> 01:11:14,317
Wait a minute. What's this?
1008
01:11:14,541 --> 01:11:18,011
I don't think these belong to me.
1009
01:11:18,265 --> 01:11:20,654
Do you recognise this?
1010
01:11:21,710 --> 01:11:24,782
That was my necklace.
But... where are the diamonds?
1011
01:11:24,972 --> 01:11:28,851
- Where are the diamonds?
- Miss Piggy stole my necklace.
1012
01:11:30,012 --> 01:11:33,607
- Miss Piggy, how could you?
- No! No! I don't know anything about it!
1013
01:11:33,692 --> 01:11:36,889
Somebody must've put it... You!
1014
01:11:37,628 --> 01:11:40,222
- It was you! Kermit was right there!
- Oh, no, no, no!
1015
01:11:40,355 --> 01:11:43,081
You're a phoney! Yes you are.
1016
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:47,272
And you know what? You can't even sing!
Your voice was dubbed.
1017
01:11:47,406 --> 01:11:50,000
Watch out, guys. Kermit!
1018
01:11:50,266 --> 01:11:52,416
Don't worry, Miss Piggy.
We'll get you out of this.
1019
01:11:53,030 --> 01:11:55,669
It just goes to show
you can't trust anybody.
1020
01:11:55,694 --> 01:11:57,990
Excuse me, Lady Holiday,
will you be hiring any more pigs?
1021
01:11:58,015 --> 01:12:00,813
Well, I shall certainly
think twice about it.
1022
01:12:01,110 --> 01:12:04,705
Kermit, find out if they'll let me
keep the costumes.
1023
01:12:04,969 --> 01:12:07,722
What about your most famous piece of
jewellery, the fabulous Baseball Diamond?
1024
01:12:07,864 --> 01:12:10,414
As from Monday,
the fabulous Baseball Diamond
1025
01:12:10,439 --> 01:12:13,158
will go on permanent display
at the Mallory Gallery.
1026
01:12:13,458 --> 01:12:17,736
I shall never have it either on my person
or in my possession again.
1027
01:12:18,138 --> 01:12:19,856
That's right. It'll be in our possession.
1028
01:12:19,881 --> 01:12:21,917
Tuesday at midnight
we'll go to the Mallory Gallery.
1029
01:12:22,090 --> 01:12:24,923
The Baseball Diamond will be ours.
1030
01:12:27,351 --> 01:12:29,990
So there I was.
Backstage under a table.
1031
01:12:30,648 --> 01:12:34,197
I was doing a little photographic essay
on kneecaps,
1032
01:12:34,222 --> 01:12:37,612
and I heard 'em planning to steal
the Baseball Diamond.
1033
01:12:37,698 --> 01:12:38,784
Bummer.
1034
01:12:38,810 --> 01:12:41,449
- So what's the plan, man?
- I already told you.
1035
01:12:41,662 --> 01:12:45,780
Tuesday, midnight, at the Mallory Gallery.
That's all I know.
1036
01:12:46,019 --> 01:12:48,456
You mean they're really gonna
try to steal the diamond?
1037
01:12:56,554 --> 01:12:58,306
Quiet!
1038
01:12:58,606 --> 01:13:00,881
"Look, Mother, it's my life, OK?"
1039
01:13:01,019 --> 01:13:05,217
"So if I want to live on a beach
and walk around naked..."
1040
01:13:05,393 --> 01:13:06,508
Oh.
1041
01:13:06,702 --> 01:13:09,019
Now, if we wanna get
Miss Piggy out of jail,
1042
01:13:09,044 --> 01:13:11,717
we're gonna have to catch
those thieves red-handed.
1043
01:13:11,994 --> 01:13:12,870
Yes, Beau?
1044
01:13:12,962 --> 01:13:16,511
What colour are their hands now?
1045
01:13:16,797 --> 01:13:19,755
Now, we're about to embark
on a potentially dangerous mission.
1046
01:13:19,915 --> 01:13:23,146
There could be physical violence,
there could be gunplay,
1047
01:13:23,422 --> 01:13:25,936
and there's a slightest chance
that somebody might even get killed.
1048
01:13:26,342 --> 01:13:29,493
So if anybody wants out,
now is the time to say it.
1049
01:13:29,518 --> 01:13:31,264
- I'm out.
- Me too.
1050
01:13:31,638 --> 01:13:33,092
- Ditto.
- Meep.
1051
01:13:33,117 --> 01:13:36,314
Don't we have a gig around here,
or something or somewhere?
1052
01:13:36,401 --> 01:13:38,995
Yeah, sorry. I got a dental appointment.
1053
01:13:39,020 --> 01:13:41,215
It's like this, Kermit.
I have to go to work all day.
1054
01:13:45,058 --> 01:13:47,618
Hold it!
1055
01:13:49,097 --> 01:13:52,373
Shame on you.
1056
01:13:53,530 --> 01:13:56,442
I thought we were in this thing together.
1057
01:13:56,742 --> 01:14:01,179
I'm just as scared as you are,
but this has to be done.
1058
01:14:02,250 --> 01:14:06,084
We don't want the bad guys to win.
1059
01:14:06,372 --> 01:14:09,921
We've got to do this for... for... for justice.
1060
01:14:10,060 --> 01:14:13,530
For... freedom. For... honesty.
1061
01:14:15,948 --> 01:14:18,018
Boy, do I feel ashamed.
1062
01:14:18,140 --> 01:14:20,859
Me too. I feel like two cents.
1063
01:14:22,748 --> 01:14:25,344
- I'm back in.
- You can count on me.
1064
01:14:25,369 --> 01:14:27,360
Oh, hey, I was only joking.
1065
01:14:27,418 --> 01:14:30,649
Yeah, it'll be a lot of fun
to go out there and risk our lives.
1066
01:14:31,231 --> 01:14:33,222
- Yeah!
- All for one and one for all.
1067
01:14:33,247 --> 01:14:34,441
Yeah!
1068
01:14:34,466 --> 01:14:38,937
At times like this
I am proud to be an American.
1069
01:14:40,269 --> 01:14:43,102
Thank you. I knew I could count
on each and every one of you.
1070
01:14:44,562 --> 01:14:46,553
Fozzie, are you OK?
1071
01:14:46,822 --> 01:14:49,044
That took a lot out of me.
1072
01:14:49,103 --> 01:14:52,248
OK. Now we don't have any time to waste,
so everybody gather round.
1073
01:14:52,715 --> 01:14:55,513
And the first thing we have to do
is make our plans.
1074
01:14:55,970 --> 01:14:57,722
- Right.
- Whoa!
1075
01:14:59,450 --> 01:15:02,010
Or we could get some sleep.
1076
01:15:18,096 --> 01:15:20,769
- Miss Piggy?
- What?
1077
01:15:21,325 --> 01:15:23,680
Your lawyer is here to see you.
1078
01:15:23,705 --> 01:15:26,205
Lawyer? I don't have a lawyer.
1079
01:15:26,230 --> 01:15:29,197
Och, sure you do. Little green guy.
1080
01:15:30,174 --> 01:15:35,692
Kermie! No wonder he hasn't come by
to see me. He had to finish law school.
1081
01:15:46,772 --> 01:15:48,125
Oh, Kermit! Oh!
1082
01:15:48,298 --> 01:15:51,017
Two minutes, pig.
1083
01:15:51,271 --> 01:15:56,106
- Oh, Kermie. Oh, I've missed you so.
- Please. The name is Rosenthal.
1084
01:15:56,947 --> 01:15:59,177
I'm your attorney.
That's the only way they'd let me in here.
1085
01:15:59,729 --> 01:16:01,892
Oh, right.
1086
01:16:01,917 --> 01:16:06,212
I've missed you so... Rosenthal.
It's been an eternity.
1087
01:16:06,770 --> 01:16:11,207
- It's been 45 minutes.
- Time goes slow in the cooler.
1088
01:16:11,439 --> 01:16:13,634
Well, I just want you to know
that we're gonna get you out of here,
1089
01:16:13,913 --> 01:16:16,427
cos we're gonna catch those thieves
red-handed.
1090
01:16:16,663 --> 01:16:19,223
What colour are their hands now?
1091
01:16:19,349 --> 01:16:22,261
I don't think this is the time
for that type of humour.
1092
01:16:22,286 --> 01:16:26,075
When you're in stir you take the laughs
when you can get 'em, Rosenthal.
1093
01:16:26,599 --> 01:16:29,012
Yeah, well, anyway, just stay put
1094
01:16:29,037 --> 01:16:31,631
because we've got a plan
and we're gonna prove you're innocent.
1095
01:16:31,771 --> 01:16:35,161
You see, tomorrow night...
precisely at midnight,
1096
01:16:35,415 --> 01:16:38,618
those thieves are gonna try to steal
Lady Holiday's Baseball Diamond
1097
01:16:38,643 --> 01:16:39,996
from the Mallory Gallery.
1098
01:16:40,372 --> 01:16:43,330
- And we're gonna stop 'em.
- Oh, Kermit, be careful.
1099
01:16:43,404 --> 01:16:45,679
Don't worry
because I've got Gonzo and Fozzie
1100
01:16:45,734 --> 01:16:48,965
and all our friends
from the Happiness Hotel to help.
1101
01:16:49,225 --> 01:16:50,943
- Those clowns?
- Mm-hm.
1102
01:16:51,064 --> 01:16:54,454
Great. I'll be stuck in
the big house for life.
1103
01:16:54,716 --> 01:16:57,514
"Big house"? Is that prison talk?
1104
01:16:57,705 --> 01:17:03,177
Yeah, "big house", "squealer", "slammer".
That's the lingo we use here in the joint.
1105
01:17:03,508 --> 01:17:06,181
Yeah. Well, you may talk tough,
Miss Piggy,
1106
01:17:06,487 --> 01:17:10,605
but underneath I know you're still the same
beautiful, sensitive, vulnerable woman
1107
01:17:10,630 --> 01:17:14,543
I was out with the other night.
The one who scarfed down all that caviar.
1108
01:17:16,838 --> 01:17:19,227
You have such a way with words.
1109
01:17:19,380 --> 01:17:21,655
I love you, Rosenthal.
1110
01:17:36,020 --> 01:17:38,580
You're wearing my moustache.
1111
01:17:40,977 --> 01:17:45,095
Yeah, well, you have mesh marks
on your face.
1112
01:17:55,649 --> 01:17:57,526
- Glass cutter?
- Check.
1113
01:17:57,742 --> 01:17:59,812
- Nylon rope?
- Check.
1114
01:18:00,144 --> 01:18:02,863
- Computer deprogrammer?
- Check.
1115
01:18:02,889 --> 01:18:04,720
- Stopwatch?
- Check.
1116
01:18:04,942 --> 01:18:06,978
- Pocket laser?
- Check.
1117
01:18:07,094 --> 01:18:09,654
- Infrared reflex?
- Check.
1118
01:18:09,843 --> 01:18:11,356
- Portable detonator?
- Check.
1119
01:18:11,945 --> 01:18:14,982
- Whoopee cushion?
- I think it's in the bus.
1120
01:18:15,104 --> 01:18:18,335
- Rubber raft?
- It's got holes in it.
1121
01:18:18,682 --> 01:18:21,879
Bag of chickens?
1122
01:18:22,056 --> 01:18:25,287
- Fake vomit?
- It's on order.
1123
01:18:25,579 --> 01:18:27,729
- Frisbee?
- Lost.
1124
01:18:27,975 --> 01:18:29,693
- Pneumatic drill?
- Check.
1125
01:18:29,720 --> 01:18:31,517
- Computer printout?
- Check.
1126
01:18:31,710 --> 01:18:33,666
- Radar gun?
- Check.
1127
01:18:33,906 --> 01:18:35,498
- Walkie-talkies?
- Check.
1128
01:18:49,896 --> 01:18:52,968
- Wax lips?
- Man, I just had 'em.
1129
01:18:53,057 --> 01:18:57,289
- Did you leave them in your other pants?
- I don't have no other pants.
1130
01:18:57,556 --> 01:19:00,116
- Yo-yo?
- For sure.
1131
01:19:00,484 --> 01:19:02,361
- Harpoon gun?
- That's you.
1132
01:19:02,386 --> 01:19:04,900
Check.
1133
01:19:05,021 --> 01:19:09,094
All right, team. Let's go for it.
1134
01:19:09,635 --> 01:19:12,354
- Peanut butter?
- Animal ate it.
1135
01:19:12,381 --> 01:19:15,498
Sorry.
1136
01:19:15,651 --> 01:19:17,369
Well, Kermit,
1137
01:19:17,514 --> 01:19:19,584
I guess that's it.
1138
01:19:19,728 --> 01:19:21,958
All right, everybody.
1139
01:19:22,182 --> 01:19:25,413
Let's go for it.
1140
01:19:42,483 --> 01:19:44,519
Go for it!
1141
01:20:58,144 --> 01:20:59,605
Beauregard.
1142
01:20:59,630 --> 01:21:01,666
Back it up here.
1143
01:21:04,025 --> 01:21:05,981
Sh. Sh.
1144
01:21:06,006 --> 01:21:08,189
- OK. Quiet.
- Sh.
1145
01:21:08,214 --> 01:21:11,126
OK. You guys
all got your disguises in place?
1146
01:21:11,228 --> 01:21:12,866
Sh.
1147
01:21:13,058 --> 01:21:15,253
Wow.
1148
01:21:38,772 --> 01:21:41,684
- Wow!
- Sh!
1149
01:21:41,772 --> 01:21:43,763
- I'm taking a picture.
- Sh.
1150
01:21:43,852 --> 01:21:45,365
Rowlf, hand me the blowtorch.
1151
01:21:45,452 --> 01:21:47,727
Blowtorch? Who said
anything about a blowtorch?
1152
01:21:47,928 --> 01:21:50,522
I got some paper towels.
1153
01:21:50,758 --> 01:21:53,272
How are we supposed to cut through
the bars if nobody brought stuff to cut with?
1154
01:21:53,523 --> 01:21:56,879
I brought some hot mustard.
Maybe that'll eat through the bars.
1155
01:21:57,026 --> 01:21:58,379
Eat through the bars!
1156
01:21:58,543 --> 01:22:00,261
- Animal?
- What?
1157
01:22:00,468 --> 01:22:04,507
Hey. Why don't you see if you
can eat through these iron bars.
1158
01:22:04,760 --> 01:22:07,069
Eat through bars.
1159
01:22:17,733 --> 01:22:20,327
- Doggy!
- The cops!
1160
01:22:25,324 --> 01:22:29,203
Do you know where Lady Holiday's
Baseball Diamond is being kept?
1161
01:22:29,600 --> 01:22:32,672
Funnily enough, I do.
It's at the Mallory Gallery,
1162
01:22:32,697 --> 01:22:37,248
a virtually impregnable fortress,
many miles from here.
1163
01:22:37,681 --> 01:22:41,642
- I only have a half an hour to get there.
- On foot? You'll never make it.
1164
01:22:42,117 --> 01:22:45,587
- I know. How about a ride?
- You can read, I presume?
1165
01:22:45,880 --> 01:22:48,030
"No passengers."
1166
01:22:48,120 --> 01:22:51,715
Oh, couldn't you make an exception
for little old moi?
1167
01:22:52,034 --> 01:22:54,673
Not even for little old vous.
1168
01:22:55,184 --> 01:22:58,332
- Pretty please?
- No!
1169
01:22:58,357 --> 01:23:00,871
I've tried to be nice.
1170
01:23:01,395 --> 01:23:03,431
- Huh?
- Hiii-yah!
1171
01:23:09,069 --> 01:23:10,582
Hey.
1172
01:23:10,840 --> 01:23:14,230
- What's all the racket?
- What are you doing here?
1173
01:23:14,461 --> 01:23:19,137
- A very brief cameo.
- Me too.
1174
01:23:47,758 --> 01:23:49,794
Breaker one, this is Hamhock.
Do you read me?
1175
01:23:49,948 --> 01:23:53,861
Loud and clear. Hamhock.
This is Dirty Bird. What's your 20. over?
1176
01:23:54,167 --> 01:23:56,556
Well, good buddy,
we're westbound out of Highgate.
1177
01:23:56,740 --> 01:23:58,856
Any smokies between me
and Blimeytown?
1178
01:23:59,042 --> 01:24:01,715
Negatory. Hamhock.
You're free and clear.
1179
01:24:01,865 --> 01:24:03,935
Ten-four, Dirty Bird. Much obliged.
1180
01:24:04,142 --> 01:24:06,781
We got the hammer down and we gone.
1181
01:24:09,060 --> 01:24:11,210
I never ordered no pepperoni.
1182
01:24:11,235 --> 01:24:14,147
It's right here on the slip.
Medium pepperoni with double cheese.
1183
01:24:14,324 --> 01:24:17,475
That's-a right. We don't-a
make them, we just-a deliver them.
1184
01:24:17,862 --> 01:24:20,854
Somebody here called Pizza Twins,
and that's us.
1185
01:24:20,989 --> 01:24:23,378
What's the name on that slip?
1186
01:24:24,382 --> 01:24:26,577
Uh...
1187
01:24:26,849 --> 01:24:29,409
- What's your name?
- Henderson.
1188
01:24:30,579 --> 01:24:33,571
- That's it! That's the name on the slip.
- Ah!
1189
01:24:34,881 --> 01:24:38,351
- But I hate pepperoni.
- I'll eat it.
1190
01:24:38,762 --> 01:24:41,322
- Stand by, guys.
- Right!
1191
01:24:44,565 --> 01:24:46,760
Ooh.
1192
01:24:49,441 --> 01:24:51,477
'Ere. Just one moment.
1193
01:24:52,534 --> 01:24:56,288
- Can I see that slip?
- Uh... uh... well...
1194
01:24:57,458 --> 01:24:59,335
Actually, this is the wrong slip.
1195
01:24:59,503 --> 01:25:02,336
That slip, sir,
you said it had my name on it.
1196
01:25:02,657 --> 01:25:04,807
Oh, that-a slip.
1197
01:25:04,832 --> 01:25:09,223
That-a slip we left at home.
But we got-a the pepperoni.
1198
01:25:09,534 --> 01:25:12,094
- But I hate pepperoni.
- Hate pepperoni. Right.
1199
01:25:12,447 --> 01:25:16,406
- How about you could feed it to the dogs?
- Yes. That's-a right. Here, sir.
1200
01:25:16,431 --> 01:25:19,389
Oh, that's very thoughtful of you.
Thank you very much, sir.
1201
01:25:34,358 --> 01:25:36,508
What am I? A glutton for punishment?
1202
01:25:47,981 --> 01:25:50,176
- Hey, Fozzie...
- Sh.
1203
01:25:50,201 --> 01:25:52,476
Fozzie, how do we get in?
1204
01:25:52,684 --> 01:25:54,376
Why don't we just
ring the doorbell?
1205
01:25:54,400 --> 01:25:56,677
No, no, no. There's
got to be another way.
1206
01:25:56,828 --> 01:25:58,603
Well, you'd better
think of it pretty quick.
1207
01:25:58,628 --> 01:26:00,852
Those dogs have
nearly finished the pizza.
1208
01:26:01,675 --> 01:26:05,873
- I know. The roof.
- Oh, man. No way we'll ever get up there.
1209
01:26:39,818 --> 01:26:40,615
Phew.
1210
01:26:40,640 --> 01:26:44,918
- So far I'm not having any fun.
- Let me talk to 'em.
1211
01:26:45,859 --> 01:26:48,134
Woof woof. Woof woof.
1212
01:26:52,211 --> 01:26:54,930
It helps to know a second language.
1213
01:26:56,904 --> 01:26:59,976
It's nearly midnight.
What am I going to do?
1214
01:27:01,076 --> 01:27:03,067
Hey! Hey, you! Hey!
1215
01:27:13,781 --> 01:27:16,170
What an unbelievable coincidence.
1216
01:27:35,180 --> 01:27:37,899
Now, this window probably
has an alarm system on it.
1217
01:27:38,143 --> 01:27:42,375
My assistant Beaker will check it out.
Go on, Beaker.
1218
01:27:58,060 --> 01:28:01,018
Very good, Beaker. Now it's perfectly safe.
1219
01:28:01,248 --> 01:28:04,638
Oh, good. Animal, do your stuff.
1220
01:28:12,177 --> 01:28:13,815
Sorry.
1221
01:28:23,994 --> 01:28:28,272
There it is.
The fabulous Baseball Diamond.
1222
01:28:29,654 --> 01:28:31,167
How are we
gonna get down there?
1223
01:28:31,465 --> 01:28:33,342
I suggest we jump.
1224
01:28:33,367 --> 01:28:35,835
Are you crazy?
That's about a hundred feet.
1225
01:28:36,000 --> 01:28:38,070
I didn't say it was a good suggestion.
1226
01:28:38,270 --> 01:28:40,943
Maybe we could jump partway.
1227
01:28:47,690 --> 01:28:49,521
Oh, boy, what do we do now?
1228
01:28:49,822 --> 01:28:52,939
We're just gonna have to go down there
and catch those thieves red-handed.
1229
01:28:52,964 --> 01:28:55,876
What colour are their hands now?
1230
01:29:06,481 --> 01:29:10,599
We'll just have to improvise. We'll make
a ladder out of whatever will hold us.
1231
01:29:10,790 --> 01:29:15,147
Good idea. Here's the paper towels.
1232
01:29:16,802 --> 01:29:19,999
I'm coming, Kermie!
1233
01:29:25,103 --> 01:29:27,492
Well, you wanted excitement.
1234
01:30:22,232 --> 01:30:24,223
Excuse me, I don't think
that belongs to you.
1235
01:30:30,064 --> 01:30:32,897
Say cheese!
1236
01:30:34,428 --> 01:30:36,737
Woman!
1237
01:30:36,762 --> 01:30:38,912
Hey, nice catch, Animal.
1238
01:30:39,162 --> 01:30:41,995
- Heads up, Lew.
- Over here, Rowlf! Yeah, got it!
1239
01:30:42,191 --> 01:30:45,069
Hot potato! Keep away. Here we go.
1240
01:30:46,999 --> 01:30:49,638
I got it. Thank you. Be careful, guys.
1241
01:30:49,758 --> 01:30:51,988
Catch it. Get him!
1242
01:30:55,096 --> 01:30:56,211
Still got a good eye.
1243
01:30:56,436 --> 01:30:59,667
Welcome to the wild world
of Muppet sports.
1244
01:30:59,756 --> 01:31:02,359
This is Louis Kazagger
with a play-by-play
1245
01:31:02,384 --> 01:31:03,439
- of the game.
- Woman!
1246
01:31:03,464 --> 01:31:06,183
And it looks like ladies' night
here at the gallery.
1247
01:31:06,424 --> 01:31:09,257
- Peekaboo.
- Hey! Ba-ba-do-be-bop.
1248
01:31:09,648 --> 01:31:12,606
OK. Here she comes, boy!
1249
01:31:19,983 --> 01:31:22,178
Hey, way to chuck,
way to look, way to move!
1250
01:31:22,536 --> 01:31:26,927
Popcorn, popcorn.
Get your red-hot popcorn.
1251
01:31:33,963 --> 01:31:35,715
Popcorn, chicken?
1252
01:31:36,027 --> 01:31:38,222
Woman!
1253
01:31:40,205 --> 01:31:43,003
- Woman!
- OK, OK.
1254
01:31:43,248 --> 01:31:47,082
Lew Zealand leads off the order
as we join the game.
1255
01:31:48,293 --> 01:31:51,763
- Chuck it to me, Beakie baby.
- Pitchy witchy, Beaker.
1256
01:31:51,829 --> 01:31:54,602
Pitcher, you couldn't hit
the front side of a barn!
1257
01:31:54,760 --> 01:31:56,485
Picture of the pitcher.
1258
01:31:56,510 --> 01:31:58,501
Wait for what you want, Lew, baby.
1259
01:31:59,082 --> 01:32:00,310
Rah, rah, rah!
1260
01:32:00,335 --> 01:32:03,088
Beaker goes into the windup.
1261
01:32:03,296 --> 01:32:07,467
It's the pitch.
It's a high fly ball to Kermit the Frog.
1262
01:32:07,492 --> 01:32:09,847
I got it. I got it. I got it.
1263
01:32:11,712 --> 01:32:14,431
Hey, gimme that diamond, you crook.
1264
01:32:15,410 --> 01:32:17,970
- Come on, guys. Get him.
- All right. Back off!
1265
01:32:20,954 --> 01:32:22,512
But, Nicky, why are you doing this?
1266
01:32:22,537 --> 01:32:25,529
Why am I doing this? Because
I'm a villain. It's pure and simple.
1267
01:32:26,040 --> 01:32:28,259
Excuse me, Mr Holiday, sir.
1268
01:32:28,284 --> 01:32:31,481
Would you let Kermit go? If you hold him
too long he'll just give you warts.
1269
01:32:31,771 --> 01:32:35,047
Oh, no. He's coming with us.
Come on, girls. Let's get out of here.
1270
01:32:56,540 --> 01:32:57,575
Hii-yah!
1271
01:32:57,922 --> 01:32:59,833
Hiii-yah!
1272
01:33:02,590 --> 01:33:05,024
Hii-yah!
1273
01:33:06,690 --> 01:33:09,158
- Hii-yah!
- Ow!
1274
01:33:09,360 --> 01:33:11,555
- Watch out!
- Miss Piggy!
1275
01:33:11,640 --> 01:33:13,995
Yeah! Way to go!
1276
01:33:15,169 --> 01:33:17,478
Ha ha ha ha.
1277
01:33:32,872 --> 01:33:34,942
Bye-bye.
1278
01:33:37,284 --> 01:33:40,162
- You were magnificent, Miss Piggy.
- I did it all for you.
1279
01:33:40,190 --> 01:33:41,669
- Could I have just a moment?
- Thank you.
1280
01:33:41,914 --> 01:33:44,064
Por nada.
1281
01:33:44,341 --> 01:33:46,138
Oh.
1282
01:33:46,284 --> 01:33:48,752
- I really did care for you, you know.
- I know.
1283
01:33:49,164 --> 01:33:52,076
We could've had the world
on a silver platter.
1284
01:33:52,211 --> 01:33:56,648
- That silver's turned to iron bars, Nicky.
- Don't hate me, Miss Piggy.
1285
01:33:56,770 --> 01:34:00,206
Oh, I don't.
It's just that somehow along the road
1286
01:34:00,231 --> 01:34:02,745
I found out the difference
between wrong and right.
1287
01:34:03,367 --> 01:34:05,478
You're wrong...
1288
01:34:05,503 --> 01:34:07,653
He's right.
1289
01:34:12,148 --> 01:34:16,380
Would you believe it, Statler? They're
heroes. Now they're gonna be obnoxious.
1290
01:34:16,733 --> 01:34:18,849
So what else is new?
1291
01:34:19,867 --> 01:34:22,170
Well, I say all's
well that ends well.
1292
01:34:22,195 --> 01:34:24,733
It doesn't matter to
me as long as it ends.
1293
01:34:32,423 --> 01:34:34,937
It was nice of the Chronicle
to pay for our flight home.
1294
01:34:35,101 --> 01:34:38,537
Yeah, but a man should be treated
better than his luggage.
1295
01:34:38,676 --> 01:34:41,190
Yeah, well, my luggage
was sucked out the door.
1296
01:34:41,494 --> 01:34:44,486
Luckily my radio's frozen to my wrist.
1297
01:34:44,763 --> 01:34:47,960
OK, guys. Everybody out for the USA.
1298
01:34:48,238 --> 01:34:50,433
Oh, boy. How close are we?
1299
01:34:50,458 --> 01:34:52,653
Oh, about 30,000 feet.
1300
01:34:52,829 --> 01:34:55,104
- You mean?
- Yup.
1301
01:34:55,377 --> 01:34:57,811
Happy landing!
1302
01:34:58,311 --> 01:35:00,506
Whoa!
1303
01:35:00,531 --> 01:35:02,761
Come on, carrot-top.
1304
01:35:14,803 --> 01:35:18,273
- We've had comedy
- We've had mystery
1305
01:35:18,298 --> 01:35:21,370
We've had a real good time
and solved a crime real easily
1306
01:35:21,536 --> 01:35:25,051
- Hey. A movie
- I just can't believe they did it
1307
01:35:25,285 --> 01:35:28,516
- Starring everybody
- And me!
1308
01:35:28,690 --> 01:35:31,966
- There was spectacle
- There was fantasy
1309
01:35:32,325 --> 01:35:35,635
- Where we took a chance
- And saw romance end happily
1310
01:35:35,826 --> 01:35:37,782
- In a movie
- Oh, Kermie!
1311
01:35:37,807 --> 01:35:39,081
I just love a happy ending
1312
01:35:39,194 --> 01:35:42,789
- One for everybody
- Everybody
1313
01:35:43,250 --> 01:35:46,401
- Everybody
- Everybody
1314
01:35:46,709 --> 01:35:50,145
- Everybody
- Everybody
1315
01:35:50,248 --> 01:35:53,335
Everybody in the world
1316
01:35:53,360 --> 01:35:55,145
- And me.
- And me.
1317
01:35:55,170 --> 01:35:56,814
- And me.
- And me.
1318
01:35:56,839 --> 01:35:58,681
- And me.
- And me.
1319
01:35:58,706 --> 01:36:01,095
And me.
1320
01:36:01,295 --> 01:36:03,970
- And me.
- And me.
1321
01:36:03,995 --> 01:36:05,633
- And me.
- And me.
1322
01:36:05,658 --> 01:36:07,463
And me.
1323
01:36:07,488 --> 01:36:09,205
- And me.
- And me.
1324
01:36:09,230 --> 01:36:11,300
And me.
1325
01:36:11,924 --> 01:36:14,392
And me.
1326
01:36:32,773 --> 01:36:36,163
Just warmer and colder
1327
01:36:36,433 --> 01:36:39,903
Than springtime or snow
1328
01:36:40,218 --> 01:36:46,009
The first time it happens. You know
1329
01:36:50,307 --> 01:36:53,743
And so you fall
1330
01:36:54,007 --> 01:36:57,397
And how complete it is
1331
01:36:57,494 --> 01:37:01,851
And for each moment that it lasts
1332
01:37:02,153 --> 01:37:05,225
How sweet it is
1333
01:37:45,767 --> 01:37:49,077
Wait a minute!
Wait! Hold it right there.
1334
01:37:49,102 --> 01:37:51,172
Don't go home yet.
1335
01:37:51,700 --> 01:37:53,656
Say cheese.
1336
01:37:55,427 --> 01:37:57,543
I'll send you each a copy.