1 00:00:20,104 --> 00:00:21,938 (CAR ENGINE RUNNING) 2 00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:30,548 ABE: Kant said human reason is troubled by questions that it cannot dismiss, 3 00:01:30,675 --> 00:01:32,759 but also cannot answer. 4 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,095 Okay, so, what are we talking about here? 5 00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:37,347 Morality? Choice? 6 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:41,226 The randomness of life? Aesthetics? Murder? 7 00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:49,192 JILL: I think Abe was crazy from the beginning. 8 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,320 Was it from stress? Was it anger? 9 00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:56,866 Was he disgusted by what he saw as life's never-ending suffering? 10 00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:58,702 Or was he simply bored 11 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:01,955 by the meaninglessness of day-to-day existence? 12 00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:05,333 He was so damn interesting. And different. 13 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,876 And a good talker. 14 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,879 And he could always cloud the issue with words. 15 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,632 ABE: Where to begin? 16 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,884 You know, the existentialists feel nothing happens 17 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,554 until you hit absolute rock bottom. 18 00:02:17,722 --> 00:02:20,223 Well, let's say that when I went to teach at Braylin College, 19 00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:22,892 emotionally, I was at Zabriskie Point. 20 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:27,522 Of course, my reputation, or should I say a reputation, preceded me. 21 00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:31,067 JOE: I hear Abe Lucas is gonna be joinin' the faculty this summer. 22 00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:32,360 JUDY: Really? 23 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:35,238 That should put some Viagra into the philosophy department. 24 00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:37,741 He's this really interesting guy, but he looks totally wasted. 25 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:39,159 I kind of like the burned-out look, though. 26 00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:40,327 Oh, my God, me too. 27 00:02:40,453 --> 00:02:42,662 Well, yeah, and he has affairs with some of his students, I heard. 28 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:45,206 - Really? - Yeah, like full... Yeah. 29 00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,667 Abe Lucas is teaching my Ethical Strategies class 30 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:48,877 for summer session. 31 00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:50,587 - Have you read any of his papers? - Mmm-hmm. 32 00:02:50,755 --> 00:02:52,881 He's very radical. Very original. 33 00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:54,424 You either love him or hate him, really. 34 00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:56,384 Faye Cohen knows someone who knows him, 35 00:02:56,552 --> 00:03:01,431 but she says, he had a serious depression when his wife left him. 36 00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:03,725 The story is, she ran off with his best friend. 37 00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:05,101 Really? 38 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:06,728 'Cause, actually, what I heard through the rumor mill 39 00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:08,438 was he had a breakdown when his best friend was killed. 40 00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:11,066 He was a TV crew guy in Iraq and he got beheaded. 41 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,942 Isn't that gruesome if it's true? 42 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:16,029 Jesus, I haven't even met the guy yet, and I'm already jealous. 43 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:19,032 (CHUCKLING) Jealous? I love that you're jealous. 44 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,617 That makes me feel desired. 45 00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:23,119 Oh, God, you don't have to worry. Everybody on campus desires you. 46 00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:25,580 - Oh, come on. - But I have you. 47 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,791 I don't know, suddenly the thought of you 48 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,710 coming under the spell of some charismatic professor... 49 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:34,547 Oh, God, you don't have to worry. I'm under your spell. 50 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,926 Good. Let's keep it that way. 51 00:03:38,094 --> 00:03:39,135 - Yeah? - Mmm-hmm. 52 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,070 Excuse me. 53 00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:59,906 Uh, do you know where Jessup Hall is? 54 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,826 Yes, Jessup Hall is that building over there, the red one. 55 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,286 Uh-huh, all right. Thank you. 56 00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:08,790 ASSISTANT: Doctor Reed? 57 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,834 - Oh. - ASSISTANT: Professor Lucas. 58 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:14,504 - Professor Lucas, welcome to Braylin. - Thank you. 59 00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:17,507 - Are you okay? - Yes. 60 00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:22,595 - I'm sure you've had a long trip. - Mmm-hmm. It was, yeah. 61 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,181 - Well, um... - Thank you. 62 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,517 We've just concluded our spring semester, 63 00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:30,687 and summer's always very active at Braylin. 64 00:04:31,147 --> 00:04:32,814 (SIGHING) Uh-huh. 65 00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:36,943 We're all very happy to have you here in the philosophy department. 66 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,820 Mmm, thank you. 67 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:42,365 This is it. 68 00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,951 Now, the faculty housing is pretty much spread out, 69 00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,661 but, you know, everything you can get to. 70 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:49,038 It's within walking distance of the campus. 71 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,874 And you're really gonna like Newport. 72 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,960 It's beautiful here, but it gets a little crowded in the summer. 73 00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,378 That can be a drag. 74 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:59,048 It's a small house, but it's really comfortable. 75 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:03,553 Um, right over here is the living room, and there's a little kitchen that way. 76 00:05:03,888 --> 00:05:05,889 And there's a little dining room right next to that. 77 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,182 Upstairs... 78 00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:09,058 This way. 79 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,478 Bathroom to the right. 80 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:16,065 And this is the bedroom. It's small, but really comfortable. 81 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,401 And there's an office over there. 82 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:21,362 I think you'll really love the philosophy department, you know? 83 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:24,240 It's in this old, beautiful part of the campus. 84 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:25,992 And there's a more modern wing, 85 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,037 that's got state-of-the-art stuff for science, 86 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:31,039 and computer technology, if you're into that. 87 00:05:31,207 --> 00:05:34,918 Oh, and if you want to go away, we're just 45 minutes from Providence. 88 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,252 Thank you. Do you want a drink? 89 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,588 (CHUCKLING) Oh, no! God, no. 90 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:43,009 There's a little cocktail reception to welcome you at 6:00. 91 00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,428 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 92 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:49,849 You know, I have to tell you, I loved your essay on situational ethics. 93 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,435 Oh, I'm glad you liked it. 94 00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:56,940 It caused a little, uh, static with the philosophy department at Adair. 95 00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,442 - This is my husband, Paul. - Hey, how you doin'? 96 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:02,237 - This is Abe Lucas, philosophy department. - BOTH: Good to meet you. 97 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:03,905 - Yeah. - How you doin' on that? 98 00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,198 I'd like another one, please. 99 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,450 - What is it? - Vodka martini, extra olives. 100 00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:10,119 - Anything for you? - Sure, I'll have another. 101 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:11,746 - Uh, scotch? - Mmm-hmm. 102 00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,081 - Okay. - Thank you. 103 00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:16,793 I'm Rita Richards. It's so good to have you here. 104 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,921 Hey, if you're ever bored and you want someone to give you 105 00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:23,091 the real lowdown of who's fucking who at this college, 106 00:06:23,259 --> 00:06:24,968 just let me know. 107 00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:31,432 So, Kant would argue that in a truly moral world, 108 00:06:31,976 --> 00:06:34,644 there is absolutely no room for lying. 109 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:38,106 And even the smallest lie 110 00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:41,609 destroys his precious categorical imperative. 111 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:46,072 So, Kant would say, if a killer came to your house, 112 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:50,243 looking to kill the man hiding upstairs and asked where he was, 113 00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:52,662 you'd be obliged to tell him. 114 00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:57,250 In his perfect world, you know, you couldn't lie. 115 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,836 Yeah, I can see the logic 116 00:07:00,004 --> 00:07:03,172 that if you open the door, even just a crack, 117 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,967 you accept a world where lying is permitted. 118 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:07,468 Uh-huh. 119 00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:11,180 Okay, then, then you'd say if the Nazis came to your house, 120 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:13,349 hiding Anne Frank and her family, 121 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,685 and asked if anyone was in the attic, you'd say, 122 00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:18,187 (IMITATING GERMAN ACCENT) "Ja, the Franks are upstairs." 123 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,814 I doubt it. 124 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,276 Because there's a difference between 125 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:26,529 a theoretical world of philosophy bullshit, 126 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,533 and real life, you know? 127 00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:33,661 Real, nasty, ugly life 128 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:37,790 that includes greed, and hate, and genocide. 129 00:07:40,044 --> 00:07:42,545 Remember, if you learn nothing else from me, 130 00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:46,883 you should learn that much of philosophy is verbal masturbation. 131 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:50,386 EDGAR: Have you talked to him at all? MS. LEONARD: Mmm. 132 00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:53,640 You know, I asked him if he wanted to eat with us. 133 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,142 - I like the guy, but he's in a world... - He likes to eat alone. 134 00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:57,685 Yeah, he's in a world all his own. 135 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,062 I think he likes to keep to himself a bit. 136 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,355 Uh, yeah, I guess so. 137 00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,065 Yeah, so, let him be. Right? 138 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,359 - Could take some time. - Right. 139 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,861 ABE: Okay, Kierkegaard. 140 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,237 Um... 141 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:11,240 You know, when making everyday decisions, 142 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:14,077 we have absolute freedom of choice. 143 00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:17,872 All right? You can do nothing, or anything. 144 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:23,086 And this feeling of freedom creates a sense of dread. 145 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,505 A dizzy feeling. 146 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,092 Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. 147 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,094 RITA: The students love you, 148 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:35,264 but, of course, you've raised some eyebrows with the faculty. 149 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:39,185 - Do you ever get discouraged teaching? - No. 150 00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:41,270 You don't ever ask yourself what the hell is it all about? 151 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,438 Mmm-mmm. 152 00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:46,025 Another school, another batch of kids. 153 00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:48,194 Sweet kids. 154 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,446 Mmm. Average kids. 155 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,032 Nice, but mostly mediocre. 156 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:56,452 They'll grow up to be those people who shape the world with their ignorance 157 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:59,038 or misinformation, or passivity. 158 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,793 - Are you okay? - Hmm? 159 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,753 - Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah. 160 00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:08,548 You want to come in? This is where I live. 161 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:12,218 Paul's in Aspen at a symposium. I've got great grass. 162 00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,888 - (CLICKS TONGUE) Some other time. - Are you sure? 163 00:09:17,141 --> 00:09:18,307 Yeah. 164 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,060 Thanks. Thanks anyway. I'll see you. 165 00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:28,151 Tomorrow we're gonna discuss phenomenology and Husserl. 166 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,278 So, be sure you do the reading, you know? 167 00:09:30,446 --> 00:09:32,280 It can get a little complicated. 168 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:33,489 All right? 169 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,421 Hi, you wanted to see me? 170 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,007 Yes, your paper was quite good. 171 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,177 - Really? - Yes. 172 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,512 I read so many papers and, 173 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,015 usually the students are merely paraphrasing what they've read, 174 00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:02,518 but I found your thinking fresh and well-presented. 175 00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:06,439 Oh, thank you. I'm flattered. 176 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:12,528 I have to say, I was very influenced by your ideas on randomness and chance. 177 00:10:13,197 --> 00:10:16,324 Well, the truth is, what I found most exciting 178 00:10:16,492 --> 00:10:18,659 was when you took issue with my ideas. 179 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,703 When you disagreed with me, 180 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:24,540 your arguments were well-reasoned and original. 181 00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:28,711 (LAUGHING) Am I blushing right now? 182 00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:32,215 That's a really big compliment. Thank you. 183 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:37,512 Um, I did actually find some parts of your book 184 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,722 a little hard to follow though, 185 00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:44,060 and I would love if you could explain some things to me. 186 00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:48,523 Sure, can we get out of here, though, before I die of suffocation? 187 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,985 I found your view of existence too bleak for me. 188 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:57,198 It was like there were no redeeming joys or pleasures. 189 00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:58,407 Okay. 190 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:02,370 Why are you taking philosophy? What do you want out of it? 191 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,038 Because if your goal is to try and figure out 192 00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:07,166 what all this bullshit's about, forget it. 193 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,837 You write books, you write papers. You've done so much. 194 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:14,882 Well, let me tell you, when I look back at all that verbal posturing, 195 00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,468 my group thought we were going to be so special. 196 00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:20,930 I marched in every bullshit political demonstration. 197 00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:23,599 I spent six months in Darfur getting food to starving families, 198 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,309 I wind up with meningitis. 199 00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:27,562 - Mmm. - I was in Bangladesh. 200 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,147 Yeah, you know, you want to see a difference, to save the world. 201 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:33,860 (SIGHING) But when you see what you're up against... 202 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:37,321 Do you like vintage single malt? You drink? 203 00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,074 You mean here? 204 00:11:40,993 --> 00:11:43,286 - Yeah. - (CHUCKLING) Right now? 205 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,913 (CHUCKLING) No, no, I couldn't. 206 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:50,751 JILL: There was no way I could have realized from that first conversation 207 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:53,504 that a lot was very wrong with Abe. 208 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:58,092 He was so damn fascinating and vulnerable, and I must say, I found him attractive. 209 00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,428 I guess it helped that he felt comfortable with me. 210 00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:02,138 I drove a cab. 211 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:05,099 - I was a handyman in a building. - (CHUCKLES) 212 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,894 I ran an elevator. But I always read. 213 00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:11,355 Always, always loved the Russian writers. 214 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,774 Especially Dostoyevsky. Dostoyevsky got it. 215 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,944 I've read all of it. 216 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,946 - Really? - Mmm. 217 00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:22,241 JILL: Oh, I had a great conversation with Abe Lucas the other day. 218 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:23,451 Uh-huh. 219 00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:25,745 He said my paper was well-organized and original. 220 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:26,954 - All right. - Right? 221 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,414 Yeah, I can see where this is goin'. 222 00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:30,541 Oh, stop it, please. 223 00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,711 He's just fascinating because he's brilliant, but he's a sufferer. 224 00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:36,005 Perfect. Great, you always became attracted to the sufferers. 225 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:37,673 Right? That's how we first met. 226 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,717 He's a real sufferer, Roy. You had shingles. 227 00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:40,968 (CHUCKLES) 228 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:44,305 He was traumatized when his best friend was killed in Iraq. 229 00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:48,100 - He was a journalist, just horrifying. - Didn't he get his head cut off? 230 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,728 His head cut off? No, no, it was an explosion. 231 00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:51,938 ROY: Oh. 232 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,691 God, it's amazing how people embellish these stories. 233 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:58,569 You know, Abe actually says that people just manufacture drama 234 00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:01,447 so they can get through their lives because they're so empty. 235 00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:04,408 Can we just change the subject of Abe Lucas, please? 236 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,994 You've been, like, singing his praises for half an hour. 237 00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:09,038 All right, well, then, how about I sing yours? 238 00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:11,749 - Okay. Yeah, yeah. Good. - How's that? 239 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,250 I love you in that sweater. 240 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,586 Of course, you love me in this sweater. You bought it for me. 241 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:18,714 Well, you look great in that shade of blue. 242 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,508 You really do. 243 00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:23,427 You know Abe's mother committed suicide? 244 00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:24,679 Abe again? 245 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,181 I mean, can you imagine? He was 12. 246 00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:30,017 She drank bleach! It's so sad. 247 00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:34,355 You know, Simone de Beauvoir pointed out, and quite correctly, 248 00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:36,774 that in a society shaped by men, 249 00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:40,111 women are seen as relative beings existing only in relationship to men. 250 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,405 - Hmm. - You agree with that? 251 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,700 - I agree with that completely. - Mmm-hmm. 252 00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:48,786 I'm sure you've heard the rumors about you. 253 00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:52,123 That you've had a lot of experience with women. 254 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,208 You mean slept with. 255 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:57,003 You find that fulfilling? 256 00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:59,588 Many women and one-night stands? 257 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:02,049 I did at the time. 258 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:05,094 It had a certain frantic quality. 259 00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:08,139 One day, it stopped being exciting. 260 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,516 I couldn't find distraction anymore 261 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:13,936 in that usually reliable painkiller, the orgasm. 262 00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,022 Why not? 263 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,608 I couldn't remember the reason for living. 264 00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:23,154 (SIGHING) And when I did, it wasn't convincing. 265 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,364 That sounds scary. 266 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,660 It's very scary when you run out of distractions. 267 00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:32,246 Well, what if it wasn't a distraction? 268 00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:36,250 What if you just decided to commit yourself to one person? 269 00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:40,713 If I met someone now, I'm too far gone to appreciate her. 270 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:46,260 (SIGHING) I have to go to my piano lesson. 271 00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:50,056 What are you doing on Friday night? 272 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,477 (SIGHING) Oh, I don't know. Why? 273 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,146 I think you should come to a party. 274 00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:58,814 - Uh... - I do. 275 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:01,650 Roy and I will take you. We can go and it'll... 276 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,569 There'll be music and it'll be fun. 277 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,112 There's a lot of students that like you. 278 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,490 - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - There really are. 279 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,867 And I think it's better than just wallowing in your room. 280 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:12,369 I don't think that's healthy. 281 00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:15,414 You should think about it. You want to come out? 282 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:18,459 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 283 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,843 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 284 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,648 - Yes? - Hi. 285 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,319 I'm sorry for dropping in so suddenly but, 286 00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:49,448 I was shopping today at the liquor store, and, 287 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:53,619 I came across these two very fine bottles of single malt scotch, 288 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,246 and I got one for Paul and myself. 289 00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:58,124 And I know how much you love single malt scotch. 290 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:02,211 Oh, that was very thoughtful of you. How much do I owe you? 291 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:05,381 (CHUCKLES) Oh, God, no, I bought it for you. 292 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,550 Oh, thank you. 293 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:12,304 You could have waited to give it to me. You didn't have to come in the rain. 294 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,224 I couldn't wait. I was excited over it. 295 00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:18,853 Will you have one with me? 296 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,147 I thought you'd never ask. 297 00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,943 Um... Hmm. 298 00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:28,779 What have you been doing? 299 00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:33,242 I'm trying to finish this book I started a long time ago. 300 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:36,579 - What's it about? - About Heidegger and fascism. 301 00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,456 Just what the world needs. 302 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:44,128 Another book about Heidegger and fascism. 303 00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,089 How's it coming? 304 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:51,635 I'm blocked. I can't write. 305 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:54,054 Why? 306 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,099 Oh, I... 307 00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:02,813 I can't write 'cause I can't breathe. 308 00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,154 What would get you breathing again? 309 00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:12,323 (SIGHS) 310 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,117 I, you know... The will to breathe. 311 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,828 - Hmm. - Inspiration, you know? 312 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,331 You need a muse. 313 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,084 I have never needed a muse before. 314 00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,337 (SIGHING) 315 00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:31,634 I hope you're not gonna send me back out into the rain 316 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,928 without sleeping with me. 317 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:36,722 I'm trying to write. 318 00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:38,724 You're blocked. 319 00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:41,268 I'm going to unblock you. 320 00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:47,233 Or are you becoming infatuated with that student you spend so much time with? 321 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,368 When the hurricane hit in New Orleans, 322 00:17:57,535 --> 00:18:00,329 Abe went down there and stayed for six weeks. 323 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:03,415 He said the problems were completely overwhelming. 324 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,669 And the political red tape and corruption was just a scandal. 325 00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,922 He couldn't believe the amount of stupidity and greed. 326 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,882 It was a scandal for George Bush. 327 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,634 JILL: Well, Abe was right there in the thick of it, 328 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,761 trying to get something accomplished. 329 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:19,098 And meanwhile, his wife was falling in love with his best friend. 330 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,100 - JILL'S MOM: Uh-huh. - Can you believe that? 331 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,602 Abe really, really loved his wife. 332 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,563 They met on a trip to Machu Picchu to see the ruins. 333 00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:28,649 - They both experimented with mescaline. - (JILL'S MOM GRUNTS) 334 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:32,152 He's actually tried every drug. He hates them. 335 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,030 He's very conservative in a kind of liberal way. 336 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:38,325 - It seems like he really opened up to you. - Mmm-hmm. 337 00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,744 JILL'S MOM: Everyone says he's not easy to get to know. 338 00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,371 Well, I definitely have not found that. 339 00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:45,249 Hey, can we just get off the topic of Abe Lucas? 340 00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:47,167 I mean, I must say, I'm not thrilled 341 00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,502 that you invited him out with us tomorrow night 342 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:49,712 without asking me first. 343 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,588 Well, he needs some human contact, Roy. 344 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,465 Otherwise, he just sits in his room and broods. 345 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,093 Yeah, but you can see why I might be jealous, no? 346 00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,345 - That's silly. - (CHUCKLES) 347 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,556 Famous last words. 348 00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:04,601 I'm sorry. 349 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:09,606 I know it must have been a disappointment, to say the least. 350 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,985 Have you tried any of the impotence drugs? 351 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,862 It's not physical. 352 00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:16,989 And don't take it personally. 353 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:21,410 I haven't been able to perform in nearly a year. 354 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,413 Have you seen a shrink? 355 00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:28,042 'Cause I know a good one for that problem. 356 00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:33,297 I keep hoping it'll come back as mysteriously as it left. 357 00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,341 I'm sorry I let you down. 358 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,427 No, I'm sorry. I'm sure it's hell for you. 359 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,264 Thanks for the scotch. 360 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,476 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 361 00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:47,895 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 362 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,735 What are you doing over here? 363 00:19:54,903 --> 00:20:00,157 Are you having one of your morbid insights on the transient futility of human joy? 364 00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,201 Is my face that grim? 365 00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:05,496 I have never seen a de Kooning in a private house. 366 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,956 - I know, so my parents got it at auction. - It's gorgeous. 367 00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,000 They're just starting to collect. They're buying so much. 368 00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:12,586 They got a Kitaj and a Warhol at Sotheby's, like, last week. 369 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:13,796 No way! 370 00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:15,047 I know, I know. 371 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,216 JANE: April, honestly, are you afraid of getting robbed? 372 00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:20,386 No, I mean the house has alarms, like, all over. 373 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,388 - Show them what your father keeps. - No. 374 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,723 - Come on, show them... - I'm not gonna show it to them. 375 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:28,435 Oh, my God. You do this, like, every time you come over here. 376 00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:29,686 It's so weird. 377 00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,647 We get it, the painting is fine, the painting is all right. 378 00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,110 - (ALL GASPING) - For the burglars. 379 00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:37,653 MARK: Yes, there it is! 380 00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:39,238 - Come on, give me it, give! - Oh, my God. 381 00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:40,906 - ROY: Is it loaded? - This is my baby. 382 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:43,617 - My baby? Oh, my God. - (ALL LAUGHING) 383 00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:47,079 No, it's not loaded. It's totally... I'm taking the bullets out. 384 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:48,414 Do you shoot this? 385 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,582 APRIL: No, my dad takes it out into the woods sometimes. 386 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,084 (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) 387 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,877 DANNY: Where they play Russian Roulette. 388 00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:55,963 What's Russian Roulette? 389 00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:57,840 (ALL LAUGHING) 390 00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,842 What's Russian Roulette? 391 00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:01,051 - Just explain it. - All right, fine. 392 00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:02,553 Okay, so, you take a bullet. 393 00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:04,304 (CHUCKLING) Take a bullet and you put it in the chamber. 394 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:07,433 - Don't demonstrate it... - Well, I'm not gonna do it! 395 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,184 So, you... Then you spin it around, right? 396 00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:10,853 And, um, you hold it up to your head. 397 00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,187 - You squeeze the trigger. - JANE: Okay... 398 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:15,315 And you have five, no, you have five to one odds that nothing will happen. 399 00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:17,276 But if you're unlucky... 400 00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:18,861 - (LAUGHING) You're just kind of... - Very unlucky. 401 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:20,112 Why? 402 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,614 And why do they do this, just for money, or what? 403 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,950 No, it's like, it's, the stakes are so much higher than money. 404 00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:27,619 - It's not about money. - For what? For what end? 405 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,997 You know, you get like a real high when you pull the trigger and... 406 00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:32,583 - Danny, stop! Put that away. - (ALL ARGUING) 407 00:21:35,879 --> 00:21:38,172 Here, let me see this. 408 00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:39,715 I don't like guns. 409 00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,216 Just be careful. 410 00:21:41,384 --> 00:21:44,052 - (JANE GASPS) - JILL: Abe, put the gun down! 411 00:21:44,262 --> 00:21:45,471 - (ALL GASPING) - GIRL: Oh, my God! 412 00:21:46,598 --> 00:21:47,848 - (GUN CLICKS) - (ALL GASPING) 413 00:21:48,016 --> 00:21:49,391 What the hell are you doing, Abe? 414 00:21:49,893 --> 00:21:50,934 The odds were in my favor. 415 00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:52,853 Do you think that's funny? 416 00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:54,062 - But, I mean... - Abe, put the gun down. 417 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,190 - Was it worth the risk? - Well, not at five to one. 418 00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:58,192 Here, fifty-fifty odds. 419 00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,818 - Abe! - (ALL SCREAMING) 420 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,654 APRIL: Stop it, stop it! 421 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:03,989 Stop! 422 00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:06,200 You want to kill yourself, go to the chem lab, swallow cyanide. 423 00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:07,451 Don't do it in front of us. 424 00:22:07,619 --> 00:22:10,704 This is an existential lesson better than in the textbooks. 425 00:22:10,914 --> 00:22:11,955 JILL: You're drunk. 426 00:22:12,123 --> 00:22:13,624 You're completely drunk. Let's go home. 427 00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,000 Come on, you drink too much. 428 00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:18,837 Fifty-fifty odds is better than most people get in life. 429 00:22:20,173 --> 00:22:23,842 Word around is your philosophy professor's got a bit of an alcohol problem. 430 00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:27,429 Oh, boy, that's just one of his problems. 431 00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:31,517 And, you know, it's really a shame, because he's so self-destructive, 432 00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:33,602 but he's so brilliant. 433 00:22:34,062 --> 00:22:35,771 But can I tell you what I think? 434 00:22:35,939 --> 00:22:38,440 And we're just the music department. 435 00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,026 Yes. 436 00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:43,695 He writes very well, very... 437 00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:45,948 Lively. 438 00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:48,450 But it's a triumph of style. 439 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:51,995 The substance just doesn't stand up to scrutiny. 440 00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:56,208 His ideas are romantic, but so flawed. 441 00:22:57,669 --> 00:23:02,422 I just hope you're not starting to care for him too much, in the wrong way. 442 00:23:03,341 --> 00:23:05,384 Oh, God, no. I love Roy. 443 00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:11,056 Although it is interesting to be around someone so complicated. 444 00:23:11,224 --> 00:23:13,767 I fear for him, I do. I, you know... 445 00:23:13,935 --> 00:23:16,603 Romantics think suicide is romantic. 446 00:23:21,693 --> 00:23:23,402 JILL: The truth was I was attracted to Abe. 447 00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:26,738 Despite, or was it because, he was a lost soul. 448 00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:30,576 There was something about his pain and sensitivity 449 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:33,245 that tapped into my romantic fantasies. 450 00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:37,332 It was exciting going to museums and seeing movies with him. 451 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,751 He was truly an original thinker. 452 00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:43,088 The problem was he had no zest for life, 453 00:23:43,256 --> 00:23:47,551 no joy, no clear reason for living, he said, which alarmed me. 454 00:23:48,845 --> 00:23:51,138 I wanted so much to help him. 455 00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:52,598 I've given up. 456 00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:53,807 It's all bullshit. 457 00:23:53,975 --> 00:23:56,602 You know, my bullshit book on Martin Heidegger 458 00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:59,313 is not gonna make a scintilla of difference to the world. 459 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,607 Why do you say things like that? How do you know that? 460 00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:03,525 I set out to be an active world changer 461 00:24:03,693 --> 00:24:07,112 and wound up a passive intellectual who can't fuck. 462 00:24:09,032 --> 00:24:13,535 Well, Abe, maybe Rita Richards couldn't get your creative juices flowing, 463 00:24:13,703 --> 00:24:16,288 but did you think that maybe I could? 464 00:24:16,456 --> 00:24:17,914 Uh-uh, Jill. 465 00:24:18,875 --> 00:24:20,083 Don't. 466 00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:22,628 Don't what? 467 00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:24,630 Don't do this. 468 00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:27,924 (SCOFFING) 469 00:24:29,010 --> 00:24:31,678 Well, we spend a lot of time together, Abe. 470 00:24:31,846 --> 00:24:33,347 - You know, and I... - We're friends. 471 00:24:33,514 --> 00:24:35,057 I know it's... 472 00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:39,811 All right, well, I thought you could tell that I cared about you. 473 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:42,856 I mean, it's pretty obvious to everyone. 474 00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:45,984 Including your boyfriend? 475 00:24:46,736 --> 00:24:49,946 I don't... I'm not ready to make an exclusive commitment to him. 476 00:24:50,114 --> 00:24:51,365 He's... 477 00:24:52,784 --> 00:24:55,160 - I just have a lot of questions and... - All right, Jill. 478 00:24:55,328 --> 00:24:57,913 Maybe we're spending too much time together. 479 00:24:58,081 --> 00:25:00,874 Maybe I shouldn't monopolize your time. 480 00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:07,923 - Okay. - (SIGHING) 481 00:25:10,510 --> 00:25:12,052 ROY: Why are you in such a bad mood? 482 00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:14,262 Roy, I'm fine. All right? 483 00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:16,598 Can't I just be a little bit edgy every once in a while? 484 00:25:16,766 --> 00:25:19,518 Well, have you thought any more about what I said? 485 00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:20,852 What? 486 00:25:21,479 --> 00:25:23,814 That after graduation, we go to London, we move in together 487 00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:25,816 and we do our postgrad work at Oxford, no? 488 00:25:25,983 --> 00:25:28,944 (STUTTERING) It's a very big idea and I don't know. 489 00:25:29,112 --> 00:25:30,946 I think it would be a great experience. 490 00:25:31,114 --> 00:25:32,656 Jill, stop, stop. 491 00:25:32,824 --> 00:25:35,826 Come on, you know I love you. What's wrong? 492 00:25:36,577 --> 00:25:38,912 I just can't talk about this right now, Roy. 493 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,789 I feel very achy. 494 00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:43,375 Like maybe I'm coming down with something, or... 495 00:25:43,543 --> 00:25:45,919 - Okay... - I don't know, like a flu or... 496 00:25:46,087 --> 00:25:47,921 (SIGHING) All right. 497 00:25:50,508 --> 00:25:52,509 Isn't it a lovely spot? 498 00:25:53,261 --> 00:25:54,636 I love it. 499 00:25:55,805 --> 00:25:58,390 I come here when I want to be alone. 500 00:26:01,352 --> 00:26:03,311 You're looking a little glum. 501 00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:06,732 I'm sorry about this afternoon. 502 00:26:08,151 --> 00:26:11,319 I thought maybe some time had passed, you know? 503 00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:13,697 And you took the Cialis? 504 00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:15,449 Against my better judgment. 505 00:26:16,325 --> 00:26:18,368 Can I confess something? 506 00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:23,999 When I heard you were coming here, I'd walk along these rocks, 507 00:26:24,959 --> 00:26:29,296 and had fantasies that we'd meet and something special would happen. 508 00:26:29,839 --> 00:26:32,716 If you're unhappy, why can't you just up and leave? 509 00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:34,801 (SIGHING) I... 510 00:26:36,179 --> 00:26:38,013 I can't do it alone. 511 00:26:39,056 --> 00:26:40,849 You know, I just can't. 512 00:26:41,017 --> 00:26:43,351 I need somebody to leave with. 513 00:26:45,354 --> 00:26:47,439 ABE: Jill had been right in her appraisal of me. 514 00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:49,816 I was teetering on the brink of some kind of breakdown, 515 00:26:49,984 --> 00:26:54,112 unable to deal with my feelings of anger, frustration, futility. 516 00:26:56,032 --> 00:26:59,201 They say that drowning is a painless way to go. 517 00:27:00,661 --> 00:27:04,790 Despair is what Kierkegaard called the sickness unto death, Abe. 518 00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:08,251 And you suffer from despair. 519 00:27:09,045 --> 00:27:12,005 I'm well aware of what Kierkegaard thought. 520 00:27:12,340 --> 00:27:16,593 But he was, in the end, a Christian. How comforting that would be. 521 00:27:18,012 --> 00:27:21,014 So, are you looking forward to your piano recital tonight? 522 00:27:21,182 --> 00:27:22,265 Did you settle on the Bach? 523 00:27:22,433 --> 00:27:23,725 - We'll figure this out. - CAROL: I don't know. 524 00:27:23,893 --> 00:27:24,935 This is wrong. 525 00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:27,687 Are you aware of what's going on at this table? 526 00:27:27,855 --> 00:27:28,897 ABE: What? 527 00:27:29,065 --> 00:27:32,609 - It is a messed-up situation. - (MOUTHING) 528 00:27:32,777 --> 00:27:34,653 CAROL: And my kids feel like I'm not comin' back. 529 00:27:34,821 --> 00:27:35,862 EVE: Aw, that's not true. 530 00:27:36,030 --> 00:27:38,907 CAROL: I know. I don't know what to do. 531 00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:40,408 I'm at my wit's end. 532 00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:42,244 Who's the judge? 533 00:27:42,537 --> 00:27:44,246 CAROL: Uh, Spangler. Thomas Spangler. 534 00:27:44,413 --> 00:27:46,873 How'd this guy ever wind up in family court? It's just... 535 00:27:47,041 --> 00:27:48,250 They're political appointees. 536 00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:51,127 Some are okay, but a lot of 'em are just bums who are getting paid off. 537 00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:52,629 It's not right. 538 00:27:52,797 --> 00:27:55,924 He awards the kids to Frank. Frank doesn't even look after them. 539 00:27:56,092 --> 00:27:57,717 - BIFF: It's true... - Frank doesn't even want them. 540 00:27:57,885 --> 00:28:00,345 BIFF: He doesn't care about his own kids. 541 00:28:00,847 --> 00:28:02,681 CAROL: I deliver them to him, they don't want to go. 542 00:28:02,849 --> 00:28:04,891 They're crying. They're crying. 543 00:28:05,935 --> 00:28:07,352 What does Frank do? 544 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:10,355 He sticks 'em in a corner of the garage he works at. 545 00:28:10,523 --> 00:28:12,816 And they sit underground all day. 546 00:28:12,984 --> 00:28:15,527 I mean, they should be outside, in the fresh air. 547 00:28:17,780 --> 00:28:19,990 (SOBBING) And now he's gonna switch custody to Frank? 548 00:28:20,157 --> 00:28:22,576 - On what grounds? - On no grounds. 549 00:28:23,202 --> 00:28:26,496 Because he's friendly in some way with Frank's lawyer. 550 00:28:26,664 --> 00:28:28,623 (SIGHING) Switching custody would be a disaster. 551 00:28:28,791 --> 00:28:30,125 HAL: It doesn't make sense. 552 00:28:30,293 --> 00:28:33,044 I brought in the kids' teachers, I brought in the kids' doctors. 553 00:28:33,212 --> 00:28:34,462 It doesn't matter. 554 00:28:34,755 --> 00:28:37,215 And you're sure he can't be recused? 555 00:28:37,383 --> 00:28:40,385 CAROL: We tried. My lawyer tried and failed. 556 00:28:42,263 --> 00:28:45,724 I can't keep payin' all these legal bills and the judge knows it. 557 00:28:45,892 --> 00:28:48,059 So, every time I want something, he says, "Make a motion." 558 00:28:48,227 --> 00:28:50,604 And we do, but he turns me down. 559 00:28:51,105 --> 00:28:53,565 And it's costin' me everything I got. 560 00:28:53,733 --> 00:28:55,859 - (SOBBING) And I'm gonna lose my kids. - Aw. 561 00:28:56,027 --> 00:28:58,069 HAL: And you're sure he's cozy with Frank's lawyer? 562 00:28:58,237 --> 00:29:01,698 CAROL: Oh, God, they look at each other, they smile. 563 00:29:02,033 --> 00:29:05,160 (SCOFFING) I got a bad break, drawin' this judge. 564 00:29:05,620 --> 00:29:07,454 It's just so unfair. 565 00:29:07,663 --> 00:29:10,123 (SNIFFING) I'm due in court in six weeks. 566 00:29:10,291 --> 00:29:11,875 If he doesn't postpone it again, 567 00:29:12,043 --> 00:29:15,211 which he does, because he knows it helps Frank. 568 00:29:17,131 --> 00:29:19,716 I can't get a decent night's sleep. 569 00:29:21,010 --> 00:29:23,803 (SNIFFING) I wish I could take the kids and move to Europe. 570 00:29:23,971 --> 00:29:26,348 I mean, I actually thought of taking them out of the country. 571 00:29:26,682 --> 00:29:29,184 What, and hide for the rest of your life? 572 00:29:29,352 --> 00:29:31,061 You'd be a fugitive. 573 00:29:31,354 --> 00:29:35,231 I feel for you, Carol, I do. And you're such a good mother. 574 00:29:37,193 --> 00:29:39,486 I hope the judge gets cancer. 575 00:29:41,364 --> 00:29:43,239 ABE: He won't get cancer. 576 00:29:43,407 --> 00:29:45,700 Because wishing doesn't work. 577 00:29:46,619 --> 00:29:49,913 If you want him dead, you have to make it happen. 578 00:29:50,748 --> 00:29:51,915 But you'd never be able to pull it off, 579 00:29:52,083 --> 00:29:55,251 and even if you did, you'd be a prime suspect. 580 00:29:56,796 --> 00:29:58,713 On the other hand, I could kill him for you, lady, 581 00:29:58,881 --> 00:30:01,716 and no one in the world would dream I did it. 582 00:30:01,884 --> 00:30:05,595 I could rid you of this roach and end all your suffering. 583 00:30:06,806 --> 00:30:10,100 It was at this moment that my life came together. 584 00:30:11,060 --> 00:30:13,061 I could perform this blessing for that poor woman 585 00:30:13,229 --> 00:30:15,981 and no one would ever connect me to it. 586 00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:18,483 I don't know any of the parties involved, 587 00:30:18,651 --> 00:30:20,735 I have no motive, and when I walk out of here, 588 00:30:20,903 --> 00:30:23,071 I'll never lay eyes on any of these people again. 589 00:30:23,239 --> 00:30:25,573 All I need to know is the name. 590 00:30:26,283 --> 00:30:28,243 Judge Thomas Spangler. 591 00:30:36,419 --> 00:30:37,627 (PANTING) 592 00:30:37,795 --> 00:30:39,295 Are you okay? 593 00:30:39,588 --> 00:30:43,091 (BREATHING HEAVILY) Wow, God. I got a little dizzy in there. 594 00:30:43,843 --> 00:30:45,427 What, you're shaking. 595 00:30:45,594 --> 00:30:47,137 - I guess, um... - Are you all right? 596 00:30:47,304 --> 00:30:48,430 An anxiety attack or something. 597 00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:50,807 - I have medicine at home. - Okay. 598 00:30:50,975 --> 00:30:54,144 (PANTING) Yeah, I don't know why I feel so dizzy. 599 00:30:54,311 --> 00:30:55,770 (INAUDIBLE) 600 00:30:58,107 --> 00:30:59,774 (PIANO PLAYING) 601 00:31:04,321 --> 00:31:07,282 ABE: Everything about killing Judge Spangler turned me on. 602 00:31:07,450 --> 00:31:10,493 The idea of helping this woman, of taking action, 603 00:31:10,661 --> 00:31:12,328 of ridding the world of the kind of vermin 604 00:31:12,496 --> 00:31:15,123 that makes the world an extra hell for all of us. 605 00:31:15,291 --> 00:31:18,793 I was intrigued by the creative challenge of bringing off a perfect murder. 606 00:31:19,670 --> 00:31:23,506 It was a high-stakes risk, but the risk made me feel alive. 607 00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:29,846 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 608 00:31:37,146 --> 00:31:40,148 - Sorry. Hey, you were great. - Oh, thank you. 609 00:31:40,316 --> 00:31:42,400 - Thank you for coming. - Yeah, of course. 610 00:31:42,568 --> 00:31:45,153 I've been thinking about that woman that we overheard all day. Have you? 611 00:31:45,321 --> 00:31:48,364 - Yeah, me, too, yeah. - It's amazing what happens to some people. 612 00:31:48,532 --> 00:31:50,658 God, I don't blame her for wishing him dead. 613 00:31:50,826 --> 00:31:52,702 I'd be rooting for him to have a heart attack, 614 00:31:52,870 --> 00:31:54,245 as awful as that sounds. 615 00:31:54,413 --> 00:31:57,582 No. I mean, don't you think that there are some people that die 616 00:31:57,750 --> 00:31:58,833 and with their death, 617 00:31:59,001 --> 00:32:02,378 the world becomes a slightly better place instantly? 618 00:32:02,546 --> 00:32:05,006 Mmm, I don't think it's quite as simple as that. 619 00:32:05,174 --> 00:32:09,052 I mean, he could be a terrible judge, but a decent loving father. 620 00:32:09,220 --> 00:32:11,721 - First off, he's not a father. - How do you know? 621 00:32:11,889 --> 00:32:14,891 I was so fascinated, I couldn't help but check him out on my computer. 622 00:32:15,059 --> 00:32:16,935 My God, you remembered his name? 623 00:32:17,103 --> 00:32:19,187 Even if he was a good family man, 624 00:32:19,355 --> 00:32:22,857 that's like those, you know, Mafia bosses who do horrible things, 625 00:32:23,025 --> 00:32:24,692 and, what, we're supposed to cut them slack 626 00:32:24,860 --> 00:32:27,695 because they're wonderful to their wives and children? 627 00:32:27,863 --> 00:32:31,908 You have to resist the temptation to overthink a very clear-cut issue. 628 00:32:32,076 --> 00:32:35,954 You know, he's a rotten judge, not impartial as he's vowed to be, 629 00:32:36,122 --> 00:32:39,082 crushing a woman and her kids simply because he has the power to do it. 630 00:32:39,250 --> 00:32:41,042 No one can stop him. 631 00:32:41,210 --> 00:32:42,460 (SCOFFING) I mean... 632 00:32:42,628 --> 00:32:45,547 It's not that ambiguous, even though it's ugly to say it. 633 00:32:45,714 --> 00:32:48,591 He's a roach who'd be better stamped out. 634 00:32:52,221 --> 00:32:54,264 ABE: The dizziness and anxiety had disappeared, 635 00:32:54,431 --> 00:32:58,893 and I accepted completely, in fact, embraced my freedom to choose action. 636 00:32:59,061 --> 00:33:00,812 I was too excited to fall asleep. 637 00:33:00,980 --> 00:33:04,732 My mind was racing with ideas, plans to kill Judge Spangler. 638 00:33:04,900 --> 00:33:07,152 Thanks to a serendipitous encounter with an unknown woman, 639 00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:09,654 my life suddenly had a purpose. 640 00:33:09,822 --> 00:33:13,825 When I finally did fall asleep, I slept the sleep of the just. 641 00:33:29,925 --> 00:33:32,093 - Morning. - WAITRESS: Morning. 642 00:33:32,261 --> 00:33:33,428 Oh, I know what I want. 643 00:33:33,596 --> 00:33:37,932 I want the orange juice, French toast, hash browns and double bacon. 644 00:33:38,309 --> 00:33:40,518 Hey, what happened to the usual black coffee? 645 00:33:40,686 --> 00:33:42,187 Can I help it if I'm famished? 646 00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:45,106 Well, bravo. You want cinnamon on the French toast? 647 00:33:45,274 --> 00:33:47,275 - Yes, I want cinnamon. - Okay. 648 00:33:47,443 --> 00:33:49,027 ABE: Hi. RITA: Hi! 649 00:33:49,195 --> 00:33:50,486 Good morning. 650 00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:53,615 Whoa, you're full of energy this morning. 651 00:33:53,949 --> 00:33:55,116 - Yeah. - Yeah. 652 00:33:55,284 --> 00:33:57,076 - I made a big decision last night. - You did? 653 00:33:57,203 --> 00:33:59,287 Mmm-hmm. To take control of my own life. 654 00:33:59,455 --> 00:34:01,164 Well, that's good. 655 00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:05,793 What prompted this reawakening? Did you have a religious epiphany? 656 00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:08,213 I just decided it's time to stop whining 657 00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:11,382 and to take matters into my own hands and make something happen. 658 00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:13,551 Well, that's good, because, uh, to be honest, 659 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,220 some of us here were kind of worried about you. 660 00:34:15,387 --> 00:34:17,138 - Huh. - You seemed at such a low point. 661 00:34:17,306 --> 00:34:19,182 The trick is not to examine things too closely. 662 00:34:19,350 --> 00:34:22,227 Not to debate every issue, but to go with your gut feeling. 663 00:34:22,394 --> 00:34:24,729 You know, and choosing action, to do, 664 00:34:24,897 --> 00:34:27,815 rather than to observe and get lost in conventional clich�s. 665 00:34:27,983 --> 00:34:31,653 I think I follow. Philosophy is not a strong suit, you know, so... 666 00:34:31,820 --> 00:34:32,987 Yeah, I think I know what your strong suit is... 667 00:34:33,155 --> 00:34:35,073 I'm a little slow. Oh, really? 668 00:34:50,839 --> 00:34:51,839 I knew you'd love that lighthouse. 669 00:34:52,007 --> 00:34:53,675 It's one of my favorite places in the world. 670 00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:55,510 Oh, it's so beautiful here. 671 00:34:55,678 --> 00:34:58,429 I can't help thinking of that phrase by Emily Dickinson, 672 00:34:58,597 --> 00:35:00,014 "Inebriate of air." 673 00:35:00,182 --> 00:35:02,684 To be drunk on air. (INHALING) 674 00:35:02,851 --> 00:35:05,728 Not to have to rely on single malt scotch. 675 00:35:07,189 --> 00:35:10,858 You know, you once said that you used to fool around with poetry. 676 00:35:11,026 --> 00:35:15,405 Mmm. Yeah, I destroyed all my poems in a fit of rage, 677 00:35:15,572 --> 00:35:19,867 when my funny, sweet friend, this guy I grew up with my whole life, 678 00:35:20,869 --> 00:35:23,705 stepped on a fucking land mine in Iraq. 679 00:35:23,872 --> 00:35:25,290 Oh, Jesus. 680 00:35:25,874 --> 00:35:29,294 But you know, maybe if you like, I could try writing again for you. 681 00:35:29,461 --> 00:35:31,045 I mean, I'm not very good, 682 00:35:31,213 --> 00:35:34,549 but you know, I might enjoy trying again for you. 683 00:35:38,929 --> 00:35:41,264 You know I'm in love with you. 684 00:35:42,766 --> 00:35:44,559 ABE: You think you are. 685 00:35:44,727 --> 00:35:46,728 What you are is in love with the romantic concept 686 00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:49,897 of being in love with your college professor. 687 00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:54,068 The correct road for you is with that terrific guy you're going with. 688 00:35:54,778 --> 00:35:57,113 Is that really what you think? 689 00:35:58,324 --> 00:36:00,491 I'll always be your friend. 690 00:36:00,826 --> 00:36:03,119 And even your poet laureate. 691 00:36:14,423 --> 00:36:16,090 RITA: That was fantastic. 692 00:36:16,258 --> 00:36:17,759 My God, what have you been eating for breakfast? 693 00:36:17,926 --> 00:36:21,929 ABE: Aw. I don't deserve all the credit. You are hot stuff, lady. 694 00:36:22,097 --> 00:36:24,682 What happened to the philosophy professor? 695 00:36:24,850 --> 00:36:27,268 Christ, you were like a caveman. 696 00:36:27,436 --> 00:36:30,438 For the first time in so long, I felt free. 697 00:36:30,981 --> 00:36:33,775 You know? Just a limitless freedom. 698 00:36:35,652 --> 00:36:37,278 Run away with me. 699 00:36:37,446 --> 00:36:39,280 Where? To Tahiti? 700 00:36:39,448 --> 00:36:42,283 Like Gauguin? To make love in the tropics? 701 00:36:42,451 --> 00:36:44,827 I want to leave Paul and move to Spain. 702 00:36:44,995 --> 00:36:46,454 - Yes? - Yeah. 703 00:36:46,622 --> 00:36:48,122 Why Spain? 704 00:36:48,290 --> 00:36:50,875 I always found Spain to be so romantic. 705 00:36:51,043 --> 00:36:52,168 Hmm. 706 00:36:54,296 --> 00:36:56,964 - Now, I have a bone to pick with you. - Yes? 707 00:36:57,132 --> 00:37:00,468 Yeah, have you been sleeping with that student Jill Pollard? 708 00:37:00,636 --> 00:37:04,305 I've been sleeping with no one for a year, till tonight. 709 00:37:04,515 --> 00:37:07,350 Not that I haven't tried, as you sadly know. 710 00:37:07,518 --> 00:37:10,144 - You tried with the student? - No, never. 711 00:37:10,312 --> 00:37:11,813 We're only friends. 712 00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:13,481 Well, because there's talk around the school. 713 00:37:13,649 --> 00:37:15,316 Mmm, it's just talk. 714 00:37:15,484 --> 00:37:18,486 People fill their lonely hours with gossip. 715 00:37:18,904 --> 00:37:21,155 Now put it out of your mind. 716 00:37:22,825 --> 00:37:24,826 ABE: My zest for life had returned 717 00:37:24,993 --> 00:37:28,496 and the driving force of this rebirth was my rock-solid determination 718 00:37:28,664 --> 00:37:30,540 to perform a service for a mother of two 719 00:37:30,707 --> 00:37:34,252 and rid the world of Judge Thomas Augustus Spangler. 720 00:37:34,420 --> 00:37:39,215 He lived alone on a pretty street within walking distance to the courthouse. 721 00:37:41,218 --> 00:37:44,679 One day a week, he played bridge with his cronies at the Pavilion Club. 722 00:37:44,847 --> 00:37:47,765 He was a member and ate there pretty often. 723 00:37:50,686 --> 00:37:53,354 Saturday mornings, he jogged at Lippitt Park. 724 00:37:53,522 --> 00:37:56,274 He was not well-thought of as a judge and had been censured once or twice, 725 00:37:56,442 --> 00:37:58,943 but had never been reversed on appeal because he was smart 726 00:37:59,111 --> 00:38:01,195 and also one of the boys. 727 00:38:04,032 --> 00:38:05,783 Why continental philosophy? 728 00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:09,370 Because, you know, continental philosophy deals with 729 00:38:09,538 --> 00:38:14,250 problems much more exciting and, and personal than the analytic tradition. 730 00:38:14,543 --> 00:38:16,210 You know, the existentialists were tryin' to find out 731 00:38:16,378 --> 00:38:20,548 not just what does something mean, but what does it mean for me? 732 00:38:21,216 --> 00:38:23,217 (SCREAMING) 733 00:38:26,221 --> 00:38:30,057 I never thought I would get you to go to an amusement park. 734 00:38:30,267 --> 00:38:32,101 Where's Roy tonight? 735 00:38:32,269 --> 00:38:33,603 Studying. 736 00:38:34,396 --> 00:38:36,939 ABE: Well, I'm mellowing in my old age. 737 00:38:37,107 --> 00:38:40,318 And now that we're here, I'm determined to win you a prize. 738 00:38:42,821 --> 00:38:45,740 JILL: There was no question there was something lighter about Abe. 739 00:38:45,908 --> 00:38:46,908 His spirits seemed up, 740 00:38:47,075 --> 00:38:50,745 he seemed more focused, more optimistic, more charming. 741 00:38:50,913 --> 00:38:53,498 He said he was determined to win me a prize. 742 00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:58,085 And after one of his standard lectures on the impact of luck and random chance, 743 00:38:58,253 --> 00:39:01,255 he managed to pick the winning number on his first spin. 744 00:39:01,423 --> 00:39:05,092 I want to go with my first instinct. There's my first hunch, 17. 745 00:39:05,260 --> 00:39:07,762 Okey-dokey, here we go! 746 00:39:08,055 --> 00:39:10,556 Round, and round, and round it goes. 747 00:39:10,724 --> 00:39:14,644 And where will it stop? Nobody knows. 748 00:39:15,604 --> 00:39:16,729 And... 749 00:39:16,897 --> 00:39:18,439 (BELL RINGING) 750 00:39:19,399 --> 00:39:20,483 Wow! 751 00:39:20,776 --> 00:39:21,817 - (LAUGHING) - Unbelievable. 752 00:39:22,110 --> 00:39:24,070 - I won. - You're a lucky man. 753 00:39:24,238 --> 00:39:25,780 - How did you do that? - Luck rules the universe. 754 00:39:25,948 --> 00:39:27,281 Oh, you think so? 755 00:39:27,449 --> 00:39:31,494 Correction, not luck, chance. We're all at the mercy of chance. 756 00:39:31,662 --> 00:39:33,496 All right, what, what do you want? What prize do you want? 757 00:39:33,664 --> 00:39:35,498 - Um, okay... - Anything, anything you want! 758 00:39:35,666 --> 00:39:38,459 Oh, uh, the flashlight, please. 759 00:39:38,627 --> 00:39:40,294 - Flashlight? - Yeah. 760 00:39:40,462 --> 00:39:42,463 - A nice practical choice. - Thank you. 761 00:39:42,756 --> 00:39:45,174 - This isn't practical. - That's not practical? 762 00:39:45,342 --> 00:39:47,134 - No, it's cool... - I mean, look at your other options. 763 00:39:47,302 --> 00:39:48,469 You're saying that you picked a flashlight? 764 00:39:48,637 --> 00:39:49,971 - I like the color... - Come on. 765 00:39:50,138 --> 00:39:52,598 I hate that you think I'm practical. 766 00:39:52,933 --> 00:39:55,101 (AMUSEMENT MUSIC PLAYING) 767 00:39:56,645 --> 00:39:58,145 BOTH: Whoa! 768 00:40:00,315 --> 00:40:01,983 (BOTH LAUGHING) 769 00:40:02,150 --> 00:40:05,319 - Oh, God. - I feel like I'm on mescaline again. 770 00:40:07,864 --> 00:40:09,490 (BOTH LAUGHING) 771 00:40:10,158 --> 00:40:11,367 God, but, look. 772 00:40:11,535 --> 00:40:14,704 Even in the distorting mirror, you look good. 773 00:40:15,497 --> 00:40:18,874 I hope you don't think I'm some middle-class drone. 774 00:40:19,501 --> 00:40:22,003 - (CHUCKLES) - I might surprise you. 775 00:40:22,170 --> 00:40:23,337 Yeah? 776 00:40:28,468 --> 00:40:29,552 Hey. 777 00:40:30,637 --> 00:40:33,389 No, it's a bad idea. It's a bad idea. 778 00:40:33,557 --> 00:40:35,641 What do you mean? I think it's a little late for that. 779 00:40:35,809 --> 00:40:38,227 (SIGHING) You have a terrific boyfriend 780 00:40:38,395 --> 00:40:41,397 and he's obviously crazy about you and don't... 781 00:40:41,565 --> 00:40:43,816 I know. And I love Roy. 782 00:40:44,526 --> 00:40:47,528 But it doesn't mean I'm ready to commit to him and give up... 783 00:40:47,696 --> 00:40:49,363 Listen to me, listen to me. 784 00:40:49,531 --> 00:40:52,033 You don't want to get involved with an extremist like me. 785 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:53,868 - Trust me. - Why not? 786 00:40:54,036 --> 00:40:56,329 I can be just as risk-taking as you. 787 00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:58,873 All right. We got carried away. 788 00:40:59,041 --> 00:41:01,250 All right, let's just forget the kiss, okay? 789 00:41:01,418 --> 00:41:02,543 What if I can't? 790 00:41:02,711 --> 00:41:07,548 Then I have to be the responsible one and keep things from getting out of hand. 791 00:41:07,716 --> 00:41:09,050 (SIGHING) 792 00:41:10,010 --> 00:41:12,595 - Come on, let's have fun. - (SCOFFING) 793 00:41:13,930 --> 00:41:16,015 (ELEVATOR BELL RINGING) 794 00:41:17,392 --> 00:41:19,894 JILL: I was sure Abe had feelings for me. 795 00:41:20,062 --> 00:41:22,563 But maybe it was just that he wasn't in love with me 796 00:41:22,731 --> 00:41:24,607 the way I was with him. 797 00:41:24,775 --> 00:41:27,777 I tried telling myself the reason he wasn't letting anything go too far 798 00:41:27,944 --> 00:41:31,113 was because a relationship between a professor and a student 799 00:41:31,281 --> 00:41:32,531 was against Braylin's rules, 800 00:41:32,699 --> 00:41:36,911 but I knew in my heart, Abe was too romantic to shy away from risks. 801 00:41:37,079 --> 00:41:38,954 (PIANO PLAYING) 802 00:41:39,122 --> 00:41:41,916 JILL: All I was sure of was that as much as I cared for Roy, 803 00:41:42,084 --> 00:41:43,626 and I really did, 804 00:41:43,794 --> 00:41:46,587 I was swept off my feet by Abe Lucas. 805 00:41:46,922 --> 00:41:50,091 The more he tried not to let anything serious happen, 806 00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:52,635 the more I wanted something to. 807 00:41:57,099 --> 00:42:00,309 ABE: I was right in thinking the killing would be an act of creativity. 808 00:42:00,477 --> 00:42:03,479 It was artistically challenging to plan how to do away with Spangler 809 00:42:03,647 --> 00:42:05,398 and bring it off perfectly. 810 00:42:05,565 --> 00:42:07,233 Weighing all the options, I came to the conclusion 811 00:42:07,401 --> 00:42:08,943 that the only practical way I could do it, 812 00:42:09,111 --> 00:42:11,445 and hope to get away with it, was to poison him. 813 00:42:11,613 --> 00:42:14,115 Careful not to leave any record on my computer, 814 00:42:14,282 --> 00:42:15,658 I researched all the poisons 815 00:42:15,826 --> 00:42:18,452 and it was clear why cyanide had become the popular clich� 816 00:42:18,620 --> 00:42:20,454 of mystery writers and spies. 817 00:42:20,622 --> 00:42:23,124 Cyanide would be quick and painless. 818 00:42:23,625 --> 00:42:26,669 And while it would be impossible to obtain any legally, 819 00:42:26,837 --> 00:42:30,798 I knew where I might get some without having to fill out any forms. 820 00:42:30,966 --> 00:42:35,136 Every stage of the way was a risk and I must admit, exhilarating. 821 00:44:22,244 --> 00:44:23,285 Professor Lucas. 822 00:44:24,746 --> 00:44:25,788 What are you doing here? 823 00:44:26,790 --> 00:44:28,082 - Hi. - Yeah, it's April? 824 00:44:28,250 --> 00:44:29,458 - April, yeah. - Yeah. 825 00:44:29,626 --> 00:44:31,585 I'm doing research for a book I'm working on. 826 00:44:32,087 --> 00:44:33,254 Well, that's cool. 827 00:44:33,421 --> 00:44:34,880 Well, I'm glad to see you're wearing rubber gloves 828 00:44:35,006 --> 00:44:37,383 'cause, you know, a lot of those poisons are actually pretty dangerous. 829 00:44:37,509 --> 00:44:38,676 Yes, I know. 830 00:44:38,802 --> 00:44:40,719 Actually, wait. While I have you here... 831 00:44:40,887 --> 00:44:43,097 Can I ask you a question on the paper I'm writing on Kant? 832 00:44:43,265 --> 00:44:45,266 Sure, sure, but can we talk as we walk? 833 00:44:45,433 --> 00:44:48,435 Yeah, so, it's due on Friday and basically, 834 00:44:48,603 --> 00:44:50,980 I just don't understand his moral principles. 835 00:44:51,731 --> 00:44:53,983 I don't understand. You've been in such a touchy mood. 836 00:44:54,150 --> 00:44:56,610 JILL: I'm fine, I just don't want to go to the concert. 837 00:44:56,778 --> 00:44:57,945 Yeah, but the only reason I got the tickets 838 00:44:58,113 --> 00:44:59,572 is because you said you wanted to go. 839 00:44:59,739 --> 00:45:02,449 Well, I'm sorry, Roy. I just had a change of heart. 840 00:45:02,617 --> 00:45:03,993 - Go with a friend. - Yeah, I will. 841 00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,161 But I was looking forward to going with you. 842 00:45:06,329 --> 00:45:09,331 Well, I just... I'm not up to it, all right? 843 00:45:10,834 --> 00:45:13,752 I think you're losin' interest in me because of Abe Lucas. 844 00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,464 Oh, God, Roy. We've had this conversation so many times. 845 00:45:17,632 --> 00:45:18,632 He's a friend. 846 00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:21,427 I think you'd be fine if he was more than a friend. 847 00:45:22,470 --> 00:45:24,471 - Can we please not discuss... - But you know it's so obvious. 848 00:45:24,639 --> 00:45:26,140 It's obvious. 849 00:45:26,808 --> 00:45:27,933 You know what? 850 00:45:28,101 --> 00:45:30,311 There's nothing going on. So, you're paranoid. 851 00:45:30,478 --> 00:45:32,104 Okay. Okay. 852 00:45:33,189 --> 00:45:35,858 Well, I'll just go to the concert with Mike. 853 00:45:36,026 --> 00:45:38,652 Oh, you'll have fun. Mike is sweet. 854 00:45:38,820 --> 00:45:40,029 Yeah. 855 00:45:41,323 --> 00:45:42,990 ABE: It was Judge Spangler's jogging routine 856 00:45:43,158 --> 00:45:44,992 that gave me the idea I was looking for. 857 00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:47,870 That is, once it became clear to me that it was a routine. 858 00:45:48,038 --> 00:45:50,331 His weekend run, his morning newspaper, 859 00:45:50,498 --> 00:45:54,460 his park bench, his container of fresh-squeezed orange juice. 860 00:45:54,878 --> 00:45:56,170 The more I found out about him, 861 00:45:56,338 --> 00:45:59,506 I was convinced the world would be a better place without him. 862 00:46:17,525 --> 00:46:19,902 - Here, happy birthday. - Thank you. 863 00:46:20,070 --> 00:46:21,362 JILL'S MOM: Happy birthday! 864 00:46:21,529 --> 00:46:23,197 - Oh, thank you, oh. - (LAUGHING) 865 00:46:23,531 --> 00:46:24,531 - Blow. - (BLOWING) 866 00:46:25,033 --> 00:46:26,575 - Yay! - All right. 867 00:46:26,743 --> 00:46:27,826 Okay. 868 00:46:30,538 --> 00:46:32,414 What is this gonna be? 869 00:46:34,376 --> 00:46:38,045 Roy, this is exactly the sweater that I wanted, 870 00:46:38,213 --> 00:46:39,838 but I mentioned it months ago. 871 00:46:40,006 --> 00:46:42,007 - I thought you forgot. Thank you. - You look so pretty in it. 872 00:46:42,175 --> 00:46:43,550 JILL: I love it. 873 00:46:43,718 --> 00:46:46,553 JILL'S MOM: So, where are you taking her for her birthday? 874 00:46:46,721 --> 00:46:49,014 We are going to the Colonial to see a new comedy over there. 875 00:46:49,182 --> 00:46:50,224 You know, I should actually get my things. 876 00:46:50,392 --> 00:46:51,433 Okay. 877 00:46:51,601 --> 00:46:53,560 - The political satire. - Yeah. 878 00:46:53,728 --> 00:46:55,729 I heard that was very good. 879 00:46:55,897 --> 00:46:57,690 - We should go see that. - Yeah, it's supposed to be great. 880 00:46:57,857 --> 00:46:59,942 JILL: My parents and Roy gave me a birthday cake 881 00:47:00,110 --> 00:47:03,070 and some presents, and they were all very sweet. 882 00:47:03,238 --> 00:47:04,947 But I must admit... 883 00:47:05,115 --> 00:47:08,742 I was hurt there was no acknowledgment from Abe Lucas. 884 00:47:10,078 --> 00:47:12,746 (ALARM BEEPING) 885 00:49:27,507 --> 00:49:30,384 (PANTING) 886 00:49:35,431 --> 00:49:37,933 ABE: I got out of the park and no one saw me. 887 00:49:38,101 --> 00:49:40,185 I never saw Spangler drink the juice. 888 00:49:40,353 --> 00:49:43,063 And while I tried to stay focused at our weekend faculty meeting, 889 00:49:43,231 --> 00:49:45,065 my mind was a million miles away. 890 00:49:45,567 --> 00:49:48,402 NEWS REPORTER: The body of the jogger who died of an apparent heart attack 891 00:49:48,570 --> 00:49:49,778 in Lippitt Park today 892 00:49:49,946 --> 00:49:52,364 was identified as Judge Thomas Spangler, 893 00:49:52,532 --> 00:49:55,200 a Rhode Island state judge in domestic court. 894 00:49:55,368 --> 00:49:57,035 The news took colleagues by surprise, 895 00:49:57,203 --> 00:49:59,079 as the judge was said to have been in good health, 896 00:49:59,247 --> 00:50:01,373 and exercised regularly. 897 00:50:01,541 --> 00:50:03,417 Judge Spangler was 61. 898 00:50:05,211 --> 00:50:07,713 ABE: Next morning, I rushed out to get the papers. 899 00:50:07,922 --> 00:50:09,590 And there it was. 900 00:50:10,258 --> 00:50:13,260 A great feeling of accomplishment came over me. 901 00:50:13,428 --> 00:50:16,555 I didn't write a vitriolic, well-reasoned piece about judicial abuse 902 00:50:16,723 --> 00:50:18,265 that would wind up just so much verbiage, 903 00:50:18,433 --> 00:50:19,600 accomplishing nothing. 904 00:50:19,767 --> 00:50:22,811 I took direct action and eliminated a cancer. 905 00:50:22,979 --> 00:50:26,440 The world was a finer place by some infinitesimal percentage. 906 00:50:26,608 --> 00:50:28,317 The woman would never know she had a benefactor, 907 00:50:28,484 --> 00:50:30,068 but now, at her court hearing, 908 00:50:30,236 --> 00:50:33,322 there was every chance she'd have a fair shot. 909 00:50:36,784 --> 00:50:39,620 Yeah, of course, I read it. It's just the most amazing thing. 910 00:50:39,787 --> 00:50:41,288 I'm stunned. 911 00:50:41,915 --> 00:50:44,917 What? No, no. We have nothing to feel guilty about. 912 00:50:45,084 --> 00:50:47,127 I mean, he was terrible. 913 00:50:47,629 --> 00:50:49,630 Hey, listen, what are you doin' later? Are you free? 914 00:50:49,797 --> 00:50:51,882 'Cause I think we should have dinner. Just the two of us. 915 00:50:52,050 --> 00:50:53,884 Yeah, we'll have a wicked celebration. 916 00:50:54,052 --> 00:50:56,136 7:30? All right, perfect. 917 00:50:56,429 --> 00:50:58,889 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 918 00:51:04,562 --> 00:51:06,647 - Thank you. - WAITRESS: You're welcome. 919 00:51:06,814 --> 00:51:09,149 I love that you order for me. 920 00:51:11,986 --> 00:51:13,278 - Cheers. - Cheers. 921 00:51:13,488 --> 00:51:14,613 (GLASSES CLINKING) 922 00:51:18,326 --> 00:51:19,952 (JILL CHUCKLING) 923 00:51:20,119 --> 00:51:22,829 God, I, you know, I feel great tonight. 924 00:51:23,122 --> 00:51:25,666 Relaxed and happy. 925 00:51:27,252 --> 00:51:30,003 Well, it, it's supposed to be a celebration, right? 926 00:51:30,505 --> 00:51:34,341 Although I think it is a little macabre to suggest celebrating someone's death. 927 00:51:34,509 --> 00:51:35,592 (CHUCKLING) 928 00:51:35,843 --> 00:51:38,345 You know, life's ironic, isn't it? 929 00:51:39,138 --> 00:51:43,642 One day a person has a morass of complicated, unsolvable problems, 930 00:51:44,435 --> 00:51:49,022 you know, the world seems black, and her troubles seem overwhelming, 931 00:51:49,357 --> 00:51:52,442 and then, in the batting of an eye, the dark clouds part 932 00:51:52,652 --> 00:51:53,986 and she can enjoy a decent life again. 933 00:51:54,195 --> 00:51:56,280 - It's just, it's astounding. - Hmm. 934 00:51:56,489 --> 00:51:58,657 Sometimes, just a little thing. 935 00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,368 Like a sudden heart attack. (LAUGHING) 936 00:52:01,536 --> 00:52:04,997 - Or, you know, hitting the lottery. - Right, hmm. 937 00:52:06,541 --> 00:52:09,459 I'm actually celebrating for the second time in three days. 938 00:52:10,044 --> 00:52:11,295 Second time? 939 00:52:11,796 --> 00:52:14,464 My birthday was the day before yesterday. 940 00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:16,049 Mmm. 941 00:52:16,217 --> 00:52:17,676 No, I know. 942 00:52:18,219 --> 00:52:21,513 I knew that you knew. I made sure that you knew. 943 00:52:22,015 --> 00:52:25,684 I was actually a little upset that you didn't call to wish me a happy birthday. 944 00:52:25,852 --> 00:52:28,312 Aw, Jill. You know, I wanted to. 945 00:52:29,355 --> 00:52:32,566 I even got you a present and then I thought, you know, 946 00:52:32,817 --> 00:52:34,651 I don't want you to get the wrong idea. 947 00:52:35,403 --> 00:52:37,904 What wrong idea, that you like me? 948 00:52:38,406 --> 00:52:41,325 Well, you know that I like you. I just... 949 00:52:41,659 --> 00:52:44,077 I don't want you to have fantasies. 950 00:52:45,246 --> 00:52:46,538 Why not? 951 00:52:47,749 --> 00:52:49,583 Because you can do better than me. 952 00:52:50,251 --> 00:52:53,920 Oh, God. Really, Abe? Don't you think I can decide that? 953 00:52:54,589 --> 00:52:56,256 All right. Here. 954 00:52:56,758 --> 00:52:58,342 Happy birthday. 955 00:52:58,593 --> 00:52:59,760 Oh, my God. 956 00:53:00,094 --> 00:53:01,720 Is this my present? 957 00:53:01,888 --> 00:53:03,096 Yeah, come on, it's nothing. 958 00:53:03,264 --> 00:53:07,017 It's not nothing, Abe! This is beautiful. 959 00:53:08,936 --> 00:53:11,563 And it's Edna St. Vincent Millay. 960 00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:14,441 You really are a romantic, aren't you? 961 00:53:15,068 --> 00:53:18,403 I marked off the poems I thought you'd like most, you'll see. 962 00:53:18,946 --> 00:53:20,030 Mmm. 963 00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:24,076 Well, what I know of hers, I absolutely love. 964 00:53:24,952 --> 00:53:26,370 (CHUCKLING) 965 00:53:29,290 --> 00:53:32,417 What am I doin' sittin' here opposite you over candlelight? 966 00:53:32,627 --> 00:53:35,420 I said I wouldn't let this happen. 967 00:53:36,130 --> 00:53:37,881 But it has happened. 968 00:53:38,216 --> 00:53:40,884 Hey, come on. We're celebrating, right? 969 00:53:41,052 --> 00:53:42,427 It's been a pretty good day. 970 00:53:42,595 --> 00:53:43,762 You had a birthday. 971 00:53:44,263 --> 00:53:46,807 I don't wanna eat, I wanna go to your place. 972 00:53:47,141 --> 00:53:48,141 Jill. 973 00:53:48,434 --> 00:53:49,726 I want to. 974 00:53:50,395 --> 00:53:51,728 - No. - Yes. 975 00:53:52,814 --> 00:53:54,564 It's my birthday. 976 00:53:57,318 --> 00:54:01,321 ABE: I swore I wouldn't, but I don't know what's come over me. 977 00:54:02,490 --> 00:54:06,618 What's come over you is that you're finally celebrating life... 978 00:54:07,495 --> 00:54:11,665 Instead of romanticizing death with your crazy Russian Roulette. 979 00:54:13,501 --> 00:54:16,795 (SIGHING) You have a boyfriend. I'm not going to get in the way of that. 980 00:54:17,505 --> 00:54:20,173 Roy and I aren't exclusive, I told you that. 981 00:54:20,508 --> 00:54:22,134 - I don't believe you. - (SIGHING) 982 00:54:22,301 --> 00:54:23,677 Roy would say different. 983 00:54:24,345 --> 00:54:26,346 I don't wanna talk about it. 984 00:54:26,848 --> 00:54:29,182 I loved making love with you. 985 00:54:29,684 --> 00:54:31,852 Yes, it was very nice for me, too. 986 00:54:32,770 --> 00:54:34,187 Oh, it was just very nice? 987 00:54:36,691 --> 00:54:39,317 I feel like I've accomplished something worthwhile. 988 00:54:39,485 --> 00:54:41,361 Like my life has meaning. 989 00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:45,657 Well, I'm very flattered that you think making love to me 990 00:54:45,825 --> 00:54:47,451 has given your life meaning. 991 00:55:02,842 --> 00:55:05,719 ABE: My writing was flowing, the creative juices unblocked. 992 00:55:05,887 --> 00:55:08,054 I was happy and enjoying a sense of well-being, 993 00:55:08,222 --> 00:55:11,850 and I'd begun an affair with Jill, something I'd been determined not to do, 994 00:55:12,018 --> 00:55:13,727 and yet was carried along on the sudden momentum 995 00:55:13,895 --> 00:55:15,812 of the sheer joy of living. 996 00:55:16,397 --> 00:55:18,231 The thought that I had once been indifferent to existence 997 00:55:18,399 --> 00:55:19,566 seemed preposterous. 998 00:55:19,734 --> 00:55:21,359 (PIANO PLAYING) 999 00:55:28,576 --> 00:55:30,494 RITA: How is everything? I haven't seen you. 1000 00:55:30,661 --> 00:55:33,830 Yeah, really good, you know. Everything's just been fallin' into place. 1001 00:55:33,998 --> 00:55:35,415 - Huh. - You look great, as always. 1002 00:55:35,583 --> 00:55:39,419 I may have some free time next week, if you wanna, you know... 1003 00:55:39,587 --> 00:55:40,670 Uh-huh. 1004 00:55:40,838 --> 00:55:43,381 Or am I encroaching on your other love life? 1005 00:55:43,591 --> 00:55:44,758 (CHUCKLING) Hey, give me a break. 1006 00:55:44,926 --> 00:55:46,259 JILL: Abe! 1007 00:55:46,427 --> 00:55:48,512 Hey, I tried to call you. 1008 00:55:49,597 --> 00:55:52,349 Did you see what happened? Did you see the papers? 1009 00:55:52,517 --> 00:55:54,059 ABE: No, what? 1010 00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,937 Hi. Judge Spangler was murdered. 1011 00:55:58,105 --> 00:55:59,773 - What are you talking about? - JILL: He was murdered. 1012 00:55:59,941 --> 00:56:01,900 I don't understand. Wasn't it a heart attack? 1013 00:56:02,109 --> 00:56:05,403 Yeah, it was a heart attack, but they did an autopsy, 1014 00:56:05,571 --> 00:56:08,198 and it wasn't cardiac arrest, it was poison. 1015 00:56:08,366 --> 00:56:09,616 - Poison? - Yeah. It was poison. 1016 00:56:09,784 --> 00:56:11,034 Somebody poisoned his juice. 1017 00:56:11,202 --> 00:56:12,452 - You've got to be kidding. - I know. 1018 00:56:12,870 --> 00:56:14,746 Well, what made them do an autopsy? 1019 00:56:14,914 --> 00:56:16,456 Well, don't they always do an autopsy? 1020 00:56:16,707 --> 00:56:19,543 I think that they suspected that it wasn't a heart attack right away, 1021 00:56:19,752 --> 00:56:22,462 and they just thought it was poison and so they did the autopsy. 1022 00:56:22,630 --> 00:56:23,797 Who's Judge Spangler? 1023 00:56:23,965 --> 00:56:24,965 - He's a judge... - ABE: This judge. 1024 00:56:25,132 --> 00:56:27,300 That we had overheard someone talking about in a diner. 1025 00:56:27,468 --> 00:56:28,802 - This crazy story that some... - Oh, yeah? 1026 00:56:28,970 --> 00:56:31,596 I don't have time for a crazy story right now, but I will see you soon. 1027 00:56:31,806 --> 00:56:33,932 - Okay. - I mean, can you believe that? 1028 00:56:34,100 --> 00:56:35,559 - No. - Isn't it awful? 1029 00:56:36,561 --> 00:56:38,311 You know, he must've had a lot of enemies. 1030 00:56:38,479 --> 00:56:40,730 Well, God, I'm sure, but we were celebrating. 1031 00:56:40,898 --> 00:56:43,984 I know, but you know, I still can't say I'm sorry. 1032 00:56:44,652 --> 00:56:46,611 Well, who do you think it was? Do you think it was the woman? 1033 00:56:46,821 --> 00:56:48,488 - I don't know... - Or, one of her friends or something? 1034 00:56:48,656 --> 00:56:49,990 Well, what, what did the police say? 1035 00:56:51,158 --> 00:56:53,785 ABE: I'm Abe Lucas and I've murdered. 1036 00:56:54,745 --> 00:56:57,914 I've had many experiences and now a unique one. 1037 00:56:58,165 --> 00:57:00,000 I've taken a human life. 1038 00:57:00,293 --> 00:57:02,335 Not in battle or self-defense, 1039 00:57:02,587 --> 00:57:06,131 but I made a choice I believed in and I saw it through. 1040 00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:09,134 I feel like an authentic human being. 1041 00:57:10,845 --> 00:57:13,513 ABE: Today we're gonna discuss existential choice. 1042 00:57:13,806 --> 00:57:16,308 That life has the meaning you choose to give it. 1043 00:57:16,684 --> 00:57:19,352 And we'll examine Jean-Paul Sartre's wonderful insight, 1044 00:57:19,604 --> 00:57:21,813 "Hell is other people." 1045 00:57:22,106 --> 00:57:24,357 (CELLO PLAYING) 1046 00:57:27,862 --> 00:57:30,322 JILL: Abe seemed to have had a breakthrough. 1047 00:57:30,615 --> 00:57:35,535 It was as if whatever had been stifling his deepest feelings became unblocked. 1048 00:57:48,799 --> 00:57:50,216 FEMALE TV REPORTER: Police still have no clues 1049 00:57:50,384 --> 00:57:54,554 in the murder of Judge Thomas Spangler, who was poisoned in Lippitt Park weeks ago. 1050 00:57:54,722 --> 00:57:55,805 At a press conference, 1051 00:57:56,015 --> 00:57:58,850 investigators told reporters all leads have been followed up, 1052 00:57:59,018 --> 00:58:01,561 but so far there are no persons of interest. 1053 00:58:01,729 --> 00:58:04,147 They said that speculation that the poison had been intended 1054 00:58:04,315 --> 00:58:06,024 for someone other than Judge Spangler, 1055 00:58:06,192 --> 00:58:08,735 was just speculation and unlikely. 1056 00:58:10,821 --> 00:58:12,906 ABE: You're wearing a new perfume. 1057 00:58:13,574 --> 00:58:15,575 I love that you notice those things. 1058 00:58:15,743 --> 00:58:19,204 I've become very attuned to the sensual joys of life. 1059 00:58:19,413 --> 00:58:22,540 Sights and sounds, the taste of food and wine. 1060 00:58:25,586 --> 00:58:26,670 What? 1061 00:58:26,879 --> 00:58:27,921 What are you thinking? 1062 00:58:29,256 --> 00:58:31,091 Today for one very funny moment, 1063 00:58:31,258 --> 00:58:34,511 I thought it would be ironic if you had killed Judge Spangler. 1064 00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:35,762 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1065 00:58:35,930 --> 00:58:39,265 Uh-huh, and how did I perform that little miracle? 1066 00:58:39,517 --> 00:58:40,934 I don't know, I don't know. 1067 00:58:41,352 --> 00:58:44,104 I mean, you couldn't and you wouldn't. 1068 00:58:44,355 --> 00:58:47,357 - It's got to be hard to kill somebody. - Mmm. 1069 00:58:47,525 --> 00:58:49,609 Especially to poison a stranger. 1070 00:58:50,277 --> 00:58:53,196 Yeah, I mean, if I had to eliminate someone, I think I'd... 1071 00:58:53,406 --> 00:58:56,616 I don't know, use a gun or run him over. 1072 00:58:57,118 --> 00:58:59,536 I mean, cyanide's a whole other deal. 1073 00:58:59,954 --> 00:59:03,206 Was it cyanide? The papers didn't say that. 1074 00:59:03,457 --> 00:59:06,292 I always assume anyone poisoned, is poisoned by cyanide. 1075 00:59:06,544 --> 00:59:09,295 Oh, that's funny. I always assume arsenic for some reason. 1076 00:59:09,463 --> 00:59:10,964 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1077 00:59:11,298 --> 00:59:15,218 Old movies or something. It had to be someone that knew him. 1078 00:59:15,803 --> 00:59:18,263 I mean, someone would have to be close enough to him 1079 00:59:18,472 --> 00:59:20,765 to drop poison in his coffee. 1080 00:59:21,142 --> 00:59:22,809 Or I guess it was juice, wasn't it? 1081 00:59:23,644 --> 00:59:25,645 ABE: I enjoyed the whole conversation. 1082 00:59:26,105 --> 00:59:27,939 It was like sitting at a tense poker table, 1083 00:59:28,149 --> 00:59:30,442 holding a full house, and chatting innocently... 1084 00:59:30,818 --> 00:59:32,318 Confident I had the winning hand, 1085 00:59:32,611 --> 00:59:35,989 but getting a thrill out of the chance I could be beaten with a straight flush 1086 00:59:36,282 --> 00:59:37,782 or four of a kind. 1087 00:59:38,242 --> 00:59:39,993 I had a big argument with Roy today. 1088 00:59:41,829 --> 00:59:43,788 I don't like to hear that. 1089 00:59:44,623 --> 00:59:47,792 I told him that I wanted to be honest with him. 1090 00:59:48,753 --> 00:59:52,255 And, that I still had real feelings for him. 1091 00:59:53,174 --> 00:59:55,175 But I also have feelings for you. 1092 00:59:55,843 --> 01:00:00,472 I must say, you were special from that very first day. 1093 01:00:02,016 --> 01:00:03,141 You are very lucky. 1094 01:00:03,309 --> 01:00:05,518 - I am very lucky. - (LAUGHING) 1095 01:00:06,645 --> 01:00:08,021 JILL: Mmm. 1096 01:00:11,108 --> 01:00:13,526 So, what do you wanna talk about? 1097 01:00:14,361 --> 01:00:15,528 Um... 1098 01:00:17,198 --> 01:00:19,824 Look, I'm not gonna see you anymore. 1099 01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:22,035 I can't operate under these conditions. 1100 01:00:22,203 --> 01:00:26,039 I'm not just gonna wait around while you play out your affair with Abe Lucas. 1101 01:00:28,042 --> 01:00:30,460 Yeah, I understand. That's not fair to you. 1102 01:00:30,711 --> 01:00:34,380 Yeah, I'm just gonna move on. Whatever happens, happens. 1103 01:00:35,883 --> 01:00:37,675 - Are you seeing somebody else? - No. 1104 01:00:37,968 --> 01:00:42,055 But, obviously, you are, so, I'm not gonna hold on from trying. 1105 01:00:44,016 --> 01:00:45,892 That wouldn't be fair. 1106 01:00:48,187 --> 01:00:50,480 It's too bad. We had a good thing goin'. 1107 01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:55,026 Hey, it's my fault, Roy. 1108 01:00:56,987 --> 01:01:00,073 I'm just really not ready to commit to one person. 1109 01:01:00,324 --> 01:01:01,491 Yeah. 1110 01:01:03,702 --> 01:01:05,703 Dinner was delicious. 1111 01:01:05,913 --> 01:01:07,413 - And this pie... - (JILL'S MOM GIGGLING) 1112 01:01:07,581 --> 01:01:09,916 - It's so nice of you to have me over. - Well, we're happy to. 1113 01:01:10,251 --> 01:01:12,919 Particularly since Jill always speaks so highly of you. 1114 01:01:13,254 --> 01:01:16,256 Have you two been following the Judge Spangler murder? 1115 01:01:16,507 --> 01:01:19,092 Have we? We have a special attachment to Judge Spangler. 1116 01:01:19,426 --> 01:01:21,386 'Cause we overheard some people talking about him, 1117 01:01:21,679 --> 01:01:22,887 and what a rotten judge he was, 1118 01:01:23,097 --> 01:01:25,890 and we kind of rooted for him to have a coronary or get run over. 1119 01:01:26,100 --> 01:01:28,768 I've jogged in that park with Sally Kelly. 1120 01:01:29,103 --> 01:01:31,688 You know, when I first heard about it, I thought someone poisoned him 1121 01:01:31,897 --> 01:01:34,566 at breakfast, and it kicked in when he was in the park. 1122 01:01:34,775 --> 01:01:36,442 But, you know, when I read it was cyanide in his drink, 1123 01:01:36,694 --> 01:01:38,278 my theory unraveled. 1124 01:01:39,238 --> 01:01:42,365 You know, you were right, Abe. It was cyanide. 1125 01:01:42,741 --> 01:01:44,450 - Mmm-hmm. - You said that very early on, didn't you? 1126 01:01:44,743 --> 01:01:45,785 JILL'S DAD: That's what they said it was. 1127 01:01:46,036 --> 01:01:47,912 Yeah, well, like I said, I always think cyanide. 1128 01:01:48,205 --> 01:01:50,415 Cyanide's the clich� because it's so quick and fatal. 1129 01:01:50,708 --> 01:01:53,459 Arsenic takes time and is very painful. 1130 01:01:53,961 --> 01:01:55,962 None of the herbicides are quick and dispositive. 1131 01:01:56,255 --> 01:01:58,131 I don't know anything about poisons. 1132 01:01:58,465 --> 01:02:00,133 I don't, either, just what I read. 1133 01:02:00,551 --> 01:02:02,468 Who'd wanna kill a judge? 1134 01:02:02,803 --> 01:02:04,929 Only everybody, every person he ever ruled against. 1135 01:02:05,723 --> 01:02:08,266 But I think they looked into everybody that knew him. 1136 01:02:08,475 --> 01:02:12,228 Including that woman that we heard, and they were all ruled out. 1137 01:02:12,479 --> 01:02:14,772 That's why they think it might be a sick prank, 1138 01:02:14,982 --> 01:02:16,816 or intended for someone else. 1139 01:02:17,776 --> 01:02:18,818 But it was quick-acting poison, 1140 01:02:18,986 --> 01:02:21,905 so they would have to drop it in the cup right there in the park. 1141 01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:24,073 - JILL'S DAD: Well, that makes sense. - Mmm-hmm. 1142 01:02:24,241 --> 01:02:25,658 But not an easy thing to do, 1143 01:02:25,826 --> 01:02:28,828 with a total stranger, in broad daylight, in a public place. 1144 01:02:29,163 --> 01:02:31,831 Unless he was there with someone he knew, and trusted. 1145 01:02:31,999 --> 01:02:33,499 - A friend. - A weekend. A weekend. 1146 01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:36,002 A weekend early in the morning, not a lot of people around. 1147 01:02:37,087 --> 01:02:38,922 Had to be someone he knew. 1148 01:02:39,089 --> 01:02:41,507 But I think they questioned everyone that knew him. 1149 01:02:41,675 --> 01:02:44,510 - They said it was a regular orange juice? - Mmm-hmm. 1150 01:02:44,678 --> 01:02:46,346 And he bought an orange juice there every weekend 1151 01:02:46,513 --> 01:02:49,182 and he'd read the paper after jogging. 1152 01:02:49,850 --> 01:02:52,352 Well, then if it was routine, 1153 01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:56,522 somebody could've come around and just dropped the poison in his cup. 1154 01:02:56,690 --> 01:02:59,150 - Someone... - You know, he wouldn't be on a park bench 1155 01:02:59,318 --> 01:03:01,110 reading the newspaper, unless he was alone. 1156 01:03:01,278 --> 01:03:02,320 That rules out a friend. 1157 01:03:02,488 --> 01:03:04,864 How do we know it was a man? Maybe it was a woman. 1158 01:03:05,032 --> 01:03:06,491 ABE: Oh, that's a good point. 1159 01:03:06,659 --> 01:03:08,034 Maybe he turned his back. 1160 01:03:08,953 --> 01:03:12,538 Someone appears out of the blue, and drops something in his drink? 1161 01:03:13,123 --> 01:03:17,043 Well, aren't those take-out juices covered with a straw? 1162 01:03:18,212 --> 01:03:22,298 Or someone could have gone to Pascal's and gotten a juice, 1163 01:03:22,466 --> 01:03:25,551 and put the poison in it and switched it with the judge's. 1164 01:03:25,719 --> 01:03:26,844 Hmm. 1165 01:03:27,012 --> 01:03:28,888 I'm sure the police have run through every theory. 1166 01:03:29,139 --> 01:03:33,017 Okay, let's say the judge is sitting in the park with his orange juice, 1167 01:03:33,185 --> 01:03:39,649 and, and along comes someone with an exact matching cup full of poison... 1168 01:03:40,818 --> 01:03:42,402 - Who comes along? - And... 1169 01:03:42,569 --> 01:03:44,988 - Well... - Someone who wants to kill the judge. 1170 01:03:45,155 --> 01:03:46,197 Whoever it was, 1171 01:03:46,365 --> 01:03:48,491 would have to get the judge to look away long enough 1172 01:03:48,659 --> 01:03:49,701 to make the switch. 1173 01:03:49,868 --> 01:03:51,411 - I mean, they'd be taking a huge risk... - But think... 1174 01:03:51,578 --> 01:03:52,870 They would sit down next to the judge, 1175 01:03:53,038 --> 01:03:55,331 and the guy doesn't even have to know him, he just is sitting there, 1176 01:03:55,499 --> 01:03:57,500 and the judge is drinking his juice, you know, 1177 01:03:57,668 --> 01:04:01,671 and he sets it down next to him, and this person is just... 1178 01:04:01,839 --> 01:04:06,092 The judge opens up his paper, and he turns and he's covered up for just long enough. 1179 01:04:06,343 --> 01:04:08,177 Well, if he didn't know the judge, 1180 01:04:08,345 --> 01:04:10,263 why would he wanna go to all that trouble to kill him? 1181 01:04:10,431 --> 01:04:13,182 Yeah, he'd have to be familiar with the judge's routine, the details. 1182 01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:14,600 But that would be easy. 1183 01:04:14,768 --> 01:04:16,853 You could just stalk the judge for a week and you would... 1184 01:04:17,021 --> 01:04:19,188 I mean, it sounds like this was his Saturday morning ritual. 1185 01:04:19,356 --> 01:04:20,440 I like it. 1186 01:04:20,607 --> 01:04:22,942 What Jill says makes sense. It's a well-thought out concept. 1187 01:04:23,110 --> 01:04:27,113 The judge reads the paper, blocks his eye line, a quick switch. 1188 01:04:27,448 --> 01:04:29,073 You know, if someone sits next to you on a bench, 1189 01:04:29,241 --> 01:04:31,242 you often turn away. 1190 01:04:31,410 --> 01:04:33,494 JILL'S DAD: I'm sure the police are way ahead of us on all this. 1191 01:04:33,620 --> 01:04:34,787 Mmm. 1192 01:04:43,922 --> 01:04:47,216 JILL: The murder of Spangler remained a hot tabloid issue. 1193 01:04:47,384 --> 01:04:48,468 Abe often talked about it 1194 01:04:48,635 --> 01:04:52,221 and what a blessing it was for that woman, now that the judge was gone. 1195 01:04:52,389 --> 01:04:54,766 I didn't give any special thought to it, until one day, 1196 01:04:54,933 --> 01:04:56,559 when I ran into Ellie Tanner, a friend, 1197 01:04:56,727 --> 01:04:58,895 that I sometimes went horseback riding with. 1198 01:04:59,063 --> 01:05:00,480 JILL: No, no, it's fine. 1199 01:05:00,647 --> 01:05:02,482 - Okay. - He just, um... 1200 01:05:02,816 --> 01:05:04,275 - Basically, we had this long conversation. - Right. 1201 01:05:04,443 --> 01:05:08,071 And he said that he felt like I wasn't being fair to him. 1202 01:05:08,238 --> 01:05:11,824 And he was right. I wasn't. But I didn't know what to do anymore. 1203 01:05:12,409 --> 01:05:15,286 You would love Abe. He is so interesting. 1204 01:05:15,579 --> 01:05:17,163 You know Rita Richards? 1205 01:05:17,331 --> 01:05:19,999 Oh, yes, are you gonna tell me that she had an affair with him? 1206 01:05:20,167 --> 01:05:22,627 Because who on the faculty has not slept with Rita Richards? 1207 01:05:22,795 --> 01:05:26,130 No, she has this hilarious theory about Abe Lucas. 1208 01:05:26,298 --> 01:05:27,840 Oh, God, here we go. 1209 01:05:28,008 --> 01:05:31,135 She thinks he would be a good suspect in that case of the murdered judge. 1210 01:05:31,303 --> 01:05:32,512 You know, the guy who's all over the papers? 1211 01:05:32,679 --> 01:05:34,430 (LAUGHING) Oh, please. 1212 01:05:34,598 --> 01:05:37,517 - She's kidding. - I mean, she's half-kidding. 1213 01:05:37,684 --> 01:05:39,352 Oh, come on. 1214 01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:41,354 How did she come to that bizarre conclusion? 1215 01:05:41,522 --> 01:05:43,523 I don't even remember. We were at her husband's barbecue. 1216 01:05:43,690 --> 01:05:44,690 And she starts yelling about 1217 01:05:44,858 --> 01:05:47,193 how Abe had argued that the judge deserved to die. 1218 01:05:47,361 --> 01:05:48,611 And then something about... 1219 01:05:48,779 --> 01:05:51,197 I don't know, the aesthetics of committing a perfect crime. 1220 01:05:51,490 --> 01:05:54,200 - Whatever, she's crazy. - Oh, she's crazy! 1221 01:05:54,368 --> 01:05:56,119 She's nuts. 1222 01:05:56,286 --> 01:05:58,454 Hey, we should go horseback riding again, soon. 1223 01:05:58,622 --> 01:06:00,998 - Oh, yeah, sure. - That was fun. 1224 01:06:01,542 --> 01:06:03,501 JILL: Naturally, I didn't believe there was any substance 1225 01:06:03,669 --> 01:06:08,548 to Rita Richards' so-called theory, and yet, for some reason, it bothered me. 1226 01:06:09,675 --> 01:06:12,176 ABE: Here, two poems I wrote for you. 1227 01:06:12,344 --> 01:06:14,137 - You didn't. - I did. 1228 01:06:14,847 --> 01:06:16,514 - Oh, my God. - No, don't read them now. 1229 01:06:16,682 --> 01:06:17,807 - I'm too embarrassed. - (SIGHING) 1230 01:06:18,058 --> 01:06:21,894 If you hate them, throw 'em away. If they move you, they're yours. 1231 01:06:24,982 --> 01:06:26,732 That's very sweet. 1232 01:06:28,652 --> 01:06:30,695 Hey, is something wrong? 1233 01:06:31,071 --> 01:06:32,405 - No. - No? 1234 01:06:33,198 --> 01:06:34,907 You seem a tiny bit off. 1235 01:06:35,492 --> 01:06:37,160 No, I'm just moved. 1236 01:06:37,494 --> 01:06:38,536 Without even reading them, 1237 01:06:38,704 --> 01:06:41,414 I'm just moved by the gesture of you writing these. 1238 01:06:41,582 --> 01:06:43,416 Aw, clever student. 1239 01:06:48,005 --> 01:06:49,505 Are you sure you're okay? 1240 01:06:51,758 --> 01:06:53,759 I'm just looking at you. 1241 01:06:56,388 --> 01:06:57,763 JILL: It seemed absurd to me 1242 01:06:57,931 --> 01:07:01,559 that I could entertain even the slightest doubt about Abe. 1243 01:07:02,186 --> 01:07:03,269 And then a week later, 1244 01:07:03,437 --> 01:07:06,606 I got a chance to hear Rita Richards' theory firsthand. 1245 01:07:06,773 --> 01:07:08,107 I ran into her in a local bar 1246 01:07:08,275 --> 01:07:10,109 where she had been sitting alone and drinking, 1247 01:07:10,277 --> 01:07:12,361 and was a little drunk and talkative. 1248 01:07:12,529 --> 01:07:14,071 - JILL: Hi. - How are you, Miss Pollard? 1249 01:07:14,281 --> 01:07:16,115 - Great. - Hi, Kim. How's it goin'? 1250 01:07:16,283 --> 01:07:18,034 JILL: Uh, can I catch up to you? 1251 01:07:18,202 --> 01:07:20,119 - Hello. - I was just thinking about you. 1252 01:07:20,287 --> 01:07:21,287 I was just thinking about you too, actually. 1253 01:07:21,455 --> 01:07:22,705 - You were? - Yes. 1254 01:07:22,873 --> 01:07:24,207 - How are you? - I'm fine. 1255 01:07:24,374 --> 01:07:26,459 I'm good. I ran into Ellie Tanner actually. 1256 01:07:26,627 --> 01:07:29,378 And she said that you had a theory about Abe. 1257 01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:33,257 Oh! Oh, yeah, well, it's what's called a crackpot theory. 1258 01:07:33,425 --> 01:07:36,469 But it's not totally off the wall. 1259 01:07:37,804 --> 01:07:39,388 Well, I love a crackpot theory. 1260 01:07:39,556 --> 01:07:41,807 - Yeah, you promise you won't tell? - You have my word. 1261 01:07:41,975 --> 01:07:44,143 You wanna hear it? Sit down. 1262 01:07:45,479 --> 01:07:48,147 You've been following that judge who got poisoned in the papers? 1263 01:07:48,649 --> 01:07:50,233 - Spangler? Judge Spangler. - Spangler. 1264 01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:51,651 - Spangler, right. - Yes. 1265 01:07:51,818 --> 01:07:54,278 Well, they don't know who did it. 1266 01:07:54,446 --> 01:07:59,408 My theory is, uh... Abe Lucas of our philosophy department. 1267 01:07:59,576 --> 01:08:01,327 (GIGGLING) Our mutual crush. 1268 01:08:01,495 --> 01:08:04,956 Well, you... That's, that's very, very intriguing. 1269 01:08:05,123 --> 01:08:07,667 Well, it's crazy, but it's not, you know? 1270 01:08:07,834 --> 01:08:09,627 Well, why do you think Abe? 1271 01:08:09,795 --> 01:08:12,672 - Well, once or twice, when I was alone... - Could I have a white wine, please? 1272 01:08:12,839 --> 01:08:16,759 Let's just say in, like, a moment of post-passionate intimacy... 1273 01:08:16,927 --> 01:08:18,261 - No, I understand... - We'd talk, yeah. 1274 01:08:18,428 --> 01:08:20,596 - You don't have to get too graphic... - And we both said that 1275 01:08:20,764 --> 01:08:23,432 we had experienced many things in life. 1276 01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:26,310 But one thing that he had never experienced, 1277 01:08:26,478 --> 01:08:30,648 but wondered was what it would be like to actually kill. 1278 01:08:30,857 --> 01:08:32,191 (LAUGHING) 1279 01:08:33,193 --> 01:08:34,694 - To kill? - Yes. 1280 01:08:34,861 --> 01:08:38,030 Well, that sounds like random, silly, Abe talk. 1281 01:08:38,282 --> 01:08:40,032 I mean, you know how he gets when he's had a few. 1282 01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:41,367 - Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm. - He's dramatic. 1283 01:08:41,535 --> 01:08:43,286 Oh, that's exactly what I thought, too, you know? 1284 01:08:43,453 --> 01:08:44,537 It's just Abe being Abe. 1285 01:08:44,705 --> 01:08:47,456 But then my husband saw him leaving the campus, 1286 01:08:47,624 --> 01:08:49,709 very early the morning that the judge was poisoned. 1287 01:08:49,876 --> 01:08:51,711 Like very early, like 6:30. 1288 01:08:51,878 --> 01:08:54,797 I mean, have you ever known Abe to get up at 6:30? 1289 01:08:55,007 --> 01:08:56,882 He barely makes it to class on time. 1290 01:08:57,884 --> 01:09:01,721 Okay, then your theory is that he gets up at 6:30, 1291 01:09:02,055 --> 01:09:05,558 and he goes to Lippitt Park, and he goes up to a total stranger, 1292 01:09:05,809 --> 01:09:08,894 and he drops poison in the juice of a total stranger. 1293 01:09:09,062 --> 01:09:10,896 I mean, he didn't even know the judge. 1294 01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:13,733 He couldn't get that close, and then, if he knew the judge, he wouldn't... 1295 01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:16,569 I mean, he just wouldn't do it. He's radical, but he's not nuts. 1296 01:09:16,737 --> 01:09:18,696 Let me give you the final tidbit. 1297 01:09:19,197 --> 01:09:20,740 A few weeks ago, I lost my lab key. 1298 01:09:20,991 --> 01:09:24,243 Now I never lose anything, but that key was missing from my bag, 1299 01:09:24,578 --> 01:09:27,705 and it opens all the doors to all the lab rooms 1300 01:09:27,998 --> 01:09:31,417 that have all those dangerous chemicals and poisons. 1301 01:09:32,085 --> 01:09:34,378 All right, well... (LAUGHING) 1302 01:09:34,713 --> 01:09:38,257 You sure have really got that theory down, don't you? 1303 01:09:39,009 --> 01:09:40,426 - RITA: Like I said... - I'll think about it. 1304 01:09:40,594 --> 01:09:42,428 I'll weigh it out. 1305 01:09:45,057 --> 01:09:49,518 JILL: There was no question I was rattled by Rita's outrageous theory. 1306 01:09:50,103 --> 01:09:52,563 I knew Abe had had a very angry reaction 1307 01:09:52,731 --> 01:09:55,566 to the judge's unfair treatment of that poor woman. 1308 01:09:55,734 --> 01:09:59,403 And what was he doing out at 6:30 on a Saturday morning? 1309 01:10:00,113 --> 01:10:03,240 My thoughts were very mixed-up and troubled. 1310 01:10:03,575 --> 01:10:06,702 And more devastating revelations were to come. 1311 01:10:06,912 --> 01:10:10,623 But for the moment, I lapsed into complete denial, 1312 01:10:11,291 --> 01:10:14,960 and told myself this was too absurd to even contemplate. 1313 01:10:15,796 --> 01:10:19,632 I must not get carried away with my overactive imagination. 1314 01:10:20,384 --> 01:10:22,385 And yet, a dark cloud had crossed the Moon. 1315 01:10:22,552 --> 01:10:23,594 - Hey. - Abe. 1316 01:10:23,762 --> 01:10:25,429 What's on your mind? What are you thinkin'? 1317 01:10:26,973 --> 01:10:28,265 Nothing. 1318 01:10:29,101 --> 01:10:31,977 I was actually, I was thinking that I used to come here and jog. 1319 01:10:32,479 --> 01:10:35,481 You know, I'll jog with you if you want. I'd love to get back into shape. 1320 01:10:35,774 --> 01:10:39,318 (CHUCKLING) No, you'd have to get up very early. 1321 01:10:39,820 --> 01:10:42,655 I run early and you're a night person. 1322 01:10:42,989 --> 01:10:44,990 Yeah, well, that's why I quit last year. 1323 01:10:45,242 --> 01:10:48,661 That and no will to extend my life, but now... 1324 01:10:51,957 --> 01:10:57,169 Rita Richards' husband actually told me that he saw you leaving the campus 1325 01:10:57,337 --> 01:11:00,506 really early, at like 6:30 or something, on a Saturday morning. 1326 01:11:01,925 --> 01:11:03,134 - 6:30? - Yeah. 1327 01:11:03,301 --> 01:11:04,927 Oh, yeah, that was the morning Judge Spangler died. 1328 01:11:05,095 --> 01:11:07,680 Yeah, I had to go to Providence for an MRI. 1329 01:11:08,014 --> 01:11:09,348 - Oh, really? - Mmm-hmm. 1330 01:11:09,516 --> 01:11:11,851 - You didn't say anything. - Well, I didn't want to alarm anyone. 1331 01:11:12,018 --> 01:11:14,812 It was a little benign thing, but the doctor wanted me to check it out. 1332 01:11:14,980 --> 01:11:16,272 He didn't think it was anything horrible. 1333 01:11:16,440 --> 01:11:17,940 - I'm glad it was nothing. - Yeah. 1334 01:11:18,108 --> 01:11:19,942 - Mmm. - Don't worry. 1335 01:11:20,444 --> 01:11:22,278 - I'm relieved. - Mmm. 1336 01:11:23,363 --> 01:11:27,032 JILL: It was hard for me to keep my mind on school work. 1337 01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:29,869 I had this growing sense of anxiety. 1338 01:11:30,537 --> 01:11:34,206 And realizing I always had a tendency to overdramatize, 1339 01:11:34,958 --> 01:11:37,543 I tried to keep my fantasies in check. 1340 01:11:37,711 --> 01:11:41,338 And still, walking home, I passed Abe's house, 1341 01:11:41,715 --> 01:11:44,383 and knowing he would be busy teaching all afternoon, 1342 01:11:44,551 --> 01:11:47,303 I couldn't resist doing a crazy thing. 1343 01:12:43,109 --> 01:12:46,946 Once I was inside Abe's house, I felt I was betraying him. 1344 01:12:47,113 --> 01:12:49,406 And I felt guilty and stupid. 1345 01:12:50,450 --> 01:12:52,868 I couldn't imagine what I expected to find. 1346 01:12:53,036 --> 01:12:56,956 And yet on his desk was a copy of Crime and Punishment, 1347 01:12:57,415 --> 01:13:00,209 with margin notes that had Judge Spangler's name 1348 01:13:00,627 --> 01:13:02,962 and a quote of Hannah Arendt's. 1349 01:13:04,756 --> 01:13:05,965 (BALL TAPPING) 1350 01:13:08,969 --> 01:13:10,427 Oh, are you kidding? 1351 01:13:10,595 --> 01:13:12,263 (CHUCKLING) Jill! 1352 01:13:13,265 --> 01:13:14,807 - APRIL: Hey! - Oh, hi. 1353 01:13:14,975 --> 01:13:17,643 Oh, you look so pretty. I love your hair today. 1354 01:13:17,811 --> 01:13:19,645 - Oh, God, thank you. - (LAUGHING) 1355 01:13:19,896 --> 01:13:21,313 - It's a mess. - Nuh-uh. 1356 01:13:21,606 --> 01:13:23,232 Um, how's your paper coming? 1357 01:13:23,400 --> 01:13:27,486 Good, actually, thanks to Abe Lucas. I ran into him in the chem lab, 1358 01:13:27,779 --> 01:13:29,738 and he gave me this whole list of people to read 1359 01:13:29,948 --> 01:13:32,908 to understand those confusing points that I was talking about, so... 1360 01:13:33,076 --> 01:13:34,493 - He was in the chem lab? - Yeah. 1361 01:13:34,661 --> 01:13:37,705 He was there after hours. I really startled him. I felt so bad. 1362 01:13:37,872 --> 01:13:41,000 - (LAUGHING) - What was he doing in the lab after hours? 1363 01:13:41,543 --> 01:13:43,419 I don't know. I think he's researching on a book, 1364 01:13:43,587 --> 01:13:45,087 or something that he's writing about, 1365 01:13:45,255 --> 01:13:48,340 like, poison or chemistry, or one of those things, so... 1366 01:13:48,508 --> 01:13:54,263 But in the lab, all that poison and toxic stuff is locked away. 1367 01:13:54,848 --> 01:13:56,223 Yeah, but he had a key. 1368 01:13:59,060 --> 01:14:02,813 Hey, why are you actin' so strangely? Huh? 1369 01:14:02,981 --> 01:14:04,023 What's so important we gotta go over it... 1370 01:14:04,190 --> 01:14:06,025 You killed Spangler. 1371 01:14:07,527 --> 01:14:08,861 - What? - Didn't you? 1372 01:14:09,029 --> 01:14:10,070 - What are you talking about? - Didn't you? 1373 01:14:10,238 --> 01:14:14,199 You got cyanide from the chem lab, and you slipped it into his juice in the park. 1374 01:14:14,367 --> 01:14:16,702 You went to Lippitt Park, you didn't get an MRI. 1375 01:14:16,870 --> 01:14:19,204 - Listen to yourself. Jill, it's me. - Is that true? 1376 01:14:19,456 --> 01:14:21,373 - Don't... - Are you nuts? 1377 01:14:21,750 --> 01:14:24,918 Don't tap dance with me, Abe! I saw in your book. 1378 01:14:25,086 --> 01:14:27,254 I saw that you wrote, "Spangler, the banality of evil." 1379 01:14:27,422 --> 01:14:29,256 You must've decided that he deserved to die. 1380 01:14:29,424 --> 01:14:32,676 And so you stole Rita's keys, and April saw you. 1381 01:14:32,844 --> 01:14:34,386 - Hey, listen, come here. - No. 1382 01:14:34,596 --> 01:14:35,846 - Come here. - (GRUNTING) 1383 01:14:36,056 --> 01:14:38,140 I made the choice to help that woman. 1384 01:14:38,475 --> 01:14:39,808 You had it right the other night. 1385 01:14:40,060 --> 01:14:42,311 I always said you had a first-rate intelligence. 1386 01:14:42,604 --> 01:14:45,147 In the park? On the bench? 1387 01:14:45,315 --> 01:14:49,485 The covering up, the... Jesus, I felt that, Abe! I felt that! 1388 01:14:49,819 --> 01:14:51,528 I always taught you to trust your instincts. 1389 01:14:51,696 --> 01:14:53,238 Not everything can be grasped by the intellect. 1390 01:14:53,406 --> 01:14:55,824 If it feels right, it often is. 1391 01:14:55,992 --> 01:14:58,786 This was the meaningful act I was searching for. 1392 01:14:59,454 --> 01:15:02,206 You can't just take it upon yourself to take someone's life. 1393 01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:04,625 Well, I thought it was a very reasonable thing to do. 1394 01:15:04,876 --> 01:15:06,293 She hoped he'd get cancer! 1395 01:15:06,503 --> 01:15:08,420 But what the hell is hoping? Hoping is bullshit. 1396 01:15:08,588 --> 01:15:10,255 You see, you have to act. 1397 01:15:10,965 --> 01:15:14,343 You can't believe it was moral, what you did. 1398 01:15:14,511 --> 01:15:16,637 - You don't think that it was moral? - Of course I do. 1399 01:15:16,805 --> 01:15:19,098 I consider myself a moral man who's lived a moral life, 1400 01:15:19,391 --> 01:15:22,893 who came to the aid of a woman suffering a great injustice. 1401 01:15:23,061 --> 01:15:25,938 - So, what, are you gonna go to prison? - No, the police are not thinking of me. 1402 01:15:26,106 --> 01:15:28,482 You gonna go to prison for the rest of your life? 1403 01:15:28,650 --> 01:15:32,236 And they never will, because I'm a total stranger to everybody, with no motive. 1404 01:15:32,404 --> 01:15:35,781 This will be just another unsolved crime. 1405 01:15:36,199 --> 01:15:38,158 Do you know that Rita Richards has a theory that you did it? 1406 01:15:38,326 --> 01:15:41,578 Yes, I know, she told me. We had a big laugh over it. 1407 01:15:43,039 --> 01:15:44,748 How could you do it, Abe? 1408 01:15:45,250 --> 01:15:47,167 Is the world a better place without this rotten judge? 1409 01:15:47,460 --> 01:15:49,920 - Oh, my God, Jesus, Abe! - No, I ask you. 1410 01:15:50,088 --> 01:15:52,089 - Is the world a better place... - No, this is... 1411 01:15:52,257 --> 01:15:54,675 - Without Judge Spangler? - I am so crushed, Abe! 1412 01:15:54,884 --> 01:15:56,510 I'm completely lost. 1413 01:15:59,264 --> 01:16:00,764 What do I do? 1414 01:16:01,057 --> 01:16:03,767 What do you mean? Meaning what? 1415 01:16:05,103 --> 01:16:08,272 Meaning that I care about you so much and I can't... 1416 01:16:08,440 --> 01:16:10,524 I can't go on seeing you anymore. 1417 01:16:11,484 --> 01:16:12,651 Oh... 1418 01:16:15,321 --> 01:16:17,364 Are you thinking of turning me in? 1419 01:16:17,782 --> 01:16:20,200 Yes, I'm thinking of turning you in. Of course I am. 1420 01:16:20,368 --> 01:16:22,077 - Jill... - But I can't do that. 1421 01:16:22,245 --> 01:16:23,328 I can't bring myself to do it. 1422 01:16:23,580 --> 01:16:25,956 You, you... This is... 1423 01:16:26,541 --> 01:16:27,833 This is crazy, Abe! 1424 01:16:28,001 --> 01:16:30,836 I'm asking you to put our everyday assumptions aside, 1425 01:16:31,004 --> 01:16:33,547 and trust your experience of life. 1426 01:16:33,965 --> 01:16:35,758 In order to really see the world, 1427 01:16:35,925 --> 01:16:38,218 we must break with our familiar acceptance of it. 1428 01:16:38,386 --> 01:16:43,223 The second I decided to take this action, my world changed. 1429 01:16:43,391 --> 01:16:44,600 You saw it. 1430 01:16:44,768 --> 01:16:47,853 I suddenly found a reason to live. 1431 01:16:48,021 --> 01:16:51,690 I could make love, I could experience feelings for you, 1432 01:16:51,858 --> 01:16:55,068 because to do this deed for this woman gave my life meaning. 1433 01:16:56,362 --> 01:16:58,363 You have to leave, Abe. 1434 01:17:00,533 --> 01:17:03,410 You gotta go. I can't see you ever again. 1435 01:17:04,913 --> 01:17:07,414 - I won't say anything. - (SCOFFING) 1436 01:17:07,999 --> 01:17:09,249 I won't say anything. 1437 01:17:09,417 --> 01:17:10,459 But I... 1438 01:17:11,920 --> 01:17:16,423 I believe that you think you did something morally worthwhile. 1439 01:17:16,633 --> 01:17:18,467 - I did! - I do believe that. No, but I... 1440 01:17:18,760 --> 01:17:20,761 - But you can't, you can't justify it! - Shh! 1441 01:17:21,095 --> 01:17:23,347 (WHISPERING) You can't justify it with all this bullshit. 1442 01:17:23,515 --> 01:17:27,476 With all this bullshit, French postwar rationalizing. 1443 01:17:27,644 --> 01:17:29,812 This doesn't... This is murder. 1444 01:17:30,104 --> 01:17:31,271 This is murder. 1445 01:17:31,606 --> 01:17:33,649 It opens the door to more murder, Abe. 1446 01:17:34,025 --> 01:17:35,400 ABE: (WHISPERING) Okay, okay, okay, okay... 1447 01:17:35,610 --> 01:17:38,237 I don't have the intellect to refute these arguments. 1448 01:17:38,404 --> 01:17:39,780 I can't argue with you. 1449 01:17:40,031 --> 01:17:42,908 But you taught me to go with my instinct, 1450 01:17:43,159 --> 01:17:47,037 and I don't have to think about this. I feel that this is no good. 1451 01:17:47,497 --> 01:17:49,081 This is murder. 1452 01:17:49,791 --> 01:17:51,208 Good job today. 1453 01:17:51,417 --> 01:17:54,253 JILL: The next few weeks were the hardest of my life. 1454 01:17:54,420 --> 01:17:56,296 I loved Abe and truly believed 1455 01:17:56,464 --> 01:17:59,800 his misguided intention was to do a heroic thing. 1456 01:18:00,426 --> 01:18:03,387 I argued his position in my head over and over. 1457 01:18:03,555 --> 01:18:06,765 And at times I weakened and felt he was an original thinker, 1458 01:18:06,933 --> 01:18:08,976 who couldn't be judged by middle-class rules. 1459 01:18:11,145 --> 01:18:15,107 ELLIE: You seem so down lately. Did something happen with Abe? 1460 01:18:15,275 --> 01:18:17,317 JILL: He's leaving the school. 1461 01:18:17,652 --> 01:18:19,152 I guess it's just as well. 1462 01:18:19,445 --> 01:18:21,363 How are you taking it? 1463 01:18:23,324 --> 01:18:24,700 Not great. 1464 01:18:27,412 --> 01:18:30,372 I'm sure Roy will be thrilled to hear that. 1465 01:18:30,540 --> 01:18:31,623 You know, it's so funny. 1466 01:18:31,791 --> 01:18:34,835 I used to think of Roy as wonderful, 1467 01:18:36,004 --> 01:18:38,922 but just very uninspired, compared to Abe. 1468 01:18:40,425 --> 01:18:41,884 And now I'm starting to think that 1469 01:18:42,051 --> 01:18:45,262 I've really been more suited for Roy all along. 1470 01:18:46,681 --> 01:18:49,933 I guess I'm not as cutting edge as I imagined myself. 1471 01:18:56,232 --> 01:18:57,816 Is it true? 1472 01:18:58,276 --> 01:19:00,402 I heard that Abe is moving on. 1473 01:19:00,820 --> 01:19:02,195 JILL: Yes. 1474 01:19:02,363 --> 01:19:05,324 - Yeah, that's true. - I'm going to miss him. 1475 01:19:05,658 --> 01:19:09,995 I guess he found Braylin a little tame for his restless temperament. 1476 01:19:11,873 --> 01:19:14,416 He's thinking of moving to Europe. 1477 01:19:15,001 --> 01:19:16,668 Can I tell you something? 1478 01:19:17,211 --> 01:19:18,378 Sure. 1479 01:19:19,047 --> 01:19:21,632 I wish he'd go to Spain and take me with him. 1480 01:19:22,425 --> 01:19:23,550 Hmm. 1481 01:19:25,553 --> 01:19:28,305 You know, he said that you two had a pretty big laugh 1482 01:19:28,473 --> 01:19:30,641 over your theory that he was the Lippitt Park killer. 1483 01:19:30,808 --> 01:19:32,768 (CHUCKLING) We did have a good laugh over it. 1484 01:19:33,478 --> 01:19:35,854 And yet, if it turned out to be that he did it, 1485 01:19:36,022 --> 01:19:40,817 you know, I'd be surprised, but not stunned. 1486 01:19:41,361 --> 01:19:43,111 Not flabbergasted. 1487 01:19:45,782 --> 01:19:48,367 I'd still let him take me to Spain. 1488 01:19:50,328 --> 01:19:52,204 ABE: I played out my last few weeks at Braylin 1489 01:19:52,372 --> 01:19:54,873 and made plans to go off to Europe to teach. 1490 01:19:55,166 --> 01:19:57,793 I still felt justified in what I'd done. 1491 01:19:57,961 --> 01:20:00,462 I felt that I'd experienced something unique and deeper, 1492 01:20:00,630 --> 01:20:03,382 from all my social protests or charity work. 1493 01:20:03,549 --> 01:20:06,635 I'd helped a family and hurt no one, but he who deserved it. 1494 01:20:06,803 --> 01:20:09,262 A man who took advantage of his power to hurt others. 1495 01:20:10,431 --> 01:20:12,975 I knew Jill would never betray me. 1496 01:20:13,184 --> 01:20:15,811 But then things took on a new twist. 1497 01:20:16,270 --> 01:20:19,398 Well, there goes my theory. I guess I'll never work for the FBI. 1498 01:20:20,274 --> 01:20:21,358 What does it say? 1499 01:20:21,734 --> 01:20:23,151 JILL'S DAD: "Police are certain they have the person 1500 01:20:23,319 --> 01:20:25,278 "who poisoned Judge Thomas Spangler, 1501 01:20:25,488 --> 01:20:28,615 "the family court judge who was murdered in Lippitt Park. 1502 01:20:28,783 --> 01:20:31,660 "The alleged killer, Albert Podesta, a medical laboratory worker, 1503 01:20:31,828 --> 01:20:35,455 "had access to the same kind of cyanide that was used in the murder. 1504 01:20:36,416 --> 01:20:39,209 "Podesta, who denies he had anything to do with it, 1505 01:20:39,377 --> 01:20:41,712 "had testified before Spangler two years ago, 1506 01:20:41,879 --> 01:20:46,174 "and had been enraged with the judge for his ruling in a case against his brother. 1507 01:20:46,342 --> 01:20:49,594 "If convicted, Podesta faces life imprisonment." 1508 01:20:51,806 --> 01:20:54,599 JILL: What do you plan to do about this? 1509 01:20:55,184 --> 01:20:56,768 (CLEARS THROAT) 1510 01:20:56,936 --> 01:20:58,145 I don't know. 1511 01:20:58,646 --> 01:21:00,272 You don't know? 1512 01:21:00,648 --> 01:21:04,526 Oh, surely, you're not gonna let an innocent man take the rap for you, Abe. 1513 01:21:04,777 --> 01:21:07,487 I've been up and back over this since I heard the news. 1514 01:21:07,655 --> 01:21:09,781 "Up and back"? What does that mean? 1515 01:21:09,949 --> 01:21:12,868 It means that I tried to bring off the perfect crime, 1516 01:21:13,036 --> 01:21:14,619 and apparently, I succeeded all too well. 1517 01:21:14,787 --> 01:21:17,622 Okay, well, what about all your talk about moral high ground? 1518 01:21:17,790 --> 01:21:19,875 Look, I need to think this out, all right? 1519 01:21:20,043 --> 01:21:21,960 What is there to think about? 1520 01:21:22,128 --> 01:21:24,421 An innocent man is about to have his life ruined. 1521 01:21:24,589 --> 01:21:26,882 Okay, I'll give myself up. 1522 01:21:27,050 --> 01:21:28,467 Is that what you want? 1523 01:21:29,010 --> 01:21:30,761 Isn't that what you want? 1524 01:21:30,970 --> 01:21:36,141 I mean, all this talk, talk, talk, about doing the right thing, 1525 01:21:36,350 --> 01:21:38,101 and what's best, and... 1526 01:21:38,311 --> 01:21:40,854 Okay, if they don't see that they're making a mistake 1527 01:21:41,105 --> 01:21:43,398 and let him go in a few days, then I'll just... 1528 01:21:43,566 --> 01:21:45,442 I'll fuckin', I'll turn myself in! 1529 01:21:45,651 --> 01:21:50,113 I haven't been able to live with myself as it is! 1530 01:21:50,281 --> 01:21:51,448 And this is a... 1531 01:21:51,616 --> 01:21:54,576 We're talking about an innocent man that's gonna be prosecuted for this! 1532 01:21:54,744 --> 01:21:58,580 I know, I agree! Let me just see if my luck holds out, 1533 01:21:58,748 --> 01:22:02,084 and they come to realize that they made a mistake, you know? 1534 01:22:02,293 --> 01:22:05,253 Because I mean... Look at me! 1535 01:22:05,421 --> 01:22:09,132 - I'm not gonna fuckin' make it! - I know, I understand. I get... 1536 01:22:10,134 --> 01:22:12,052 You have to do it by Monday, though, Abe. 1537 01:22:12,220 --> 01:22:14,679 You got to do it by Monday, or else I'm gonna have to do it. 1538 01:22:14,847 --> 01:22:16,014 - I'm gonna have to do it. - You stop that. 1539 01:22:16,182 --> 01:22:17,933 - You don't have to do anything, all right? - Abe... 1540 01:22:18,101 --> 01:22:19,726 Just give me till Monday, please? 1541 01:22:19,894 --> 01:22:22,104 Look at me, please? Just give me till Monday? 1542 01:22:22,313 --> 01:22:24,022 Okay? I promise. 1543 01:22:24,315 --> 01:22:26,817 - First thing in the morning on Monday. - Okay, okay. 1544 01:22:26,984 --> 01:22:29,319 You have to do it, Abe, or I will do it. I will do it. 1545 01:22:29,487 --> 01:22:32,405 You don't have to do anything, I promise. 1546 01:22:33,699 --> 01:22:35,450 God damn it, Abe. 1547 01:22:41,958 --> 01:22:44,334 ABE: But I had no intention of giving myself up. 1548 01:22:44,585 --> 01:22:47,003 A few months ago, my life meant nothing to me. 1549 01:22:47,171 --> 01:22:49,798 I got no enjoyment out of it, no pleasure. 1550 01:22:49,966 --> 01:22:53,051 I'd have been fine if that little game of Russian Roulette ended it. 1551 01:22:53,219 --> 01:22:56,763 But since I planned and executed the elimination of Judge Spangler, 1552 01:22:56,931 --> 01:22:59,141 my life had taken a new turn. 1553 01:22:59,308 --> 01:23:00,892 I understood why people loved life 1554 01:23:01,060 --> 01:23:03,520 and saw it as something joyous to experience. 1555 01:23:03,688 --> 01:23:05,564 I did get pleasure out of living. 1556 01:23:05,731 --> 01:23:09,025 I didn't want to commit suicide, or spend my remaining days behind bars. 1557 01:23:09,193 --> 01:23:13,530 I wanted to live, to teach, to write, to travel, to make love. 1558 01:23:15,575 --> 01:23:17,159 That night, I went to bed with Rita, 1559 01:23:17,326 --> 01:23:21,454 and even entertained the thought of takin' her with me to Europe. 1560 01:23:22,748 --> 01:23:25,333 I would leave Paul in a minute. 1561 01:23:29,380 --> 01:23:32,257 Are you serious? About Europe, really? 1562 01:23:33,593 --> 01:23:35,135 What if I was? 1563 01:23:39,682 --> 01:23:42,058 I couldn't believe it. That's, um... 1564 01:23:42,226 --> 01:23:44,060 It would be a dream. 1565 01:23:44,353 --> 01:23:47,814 And start over in Rome or Spain or... 1566 01:23:50,026 --> 01:23:51,276 London? 1567 01:23:52,195 --> 01:23:54,112 ABE: The police had their suspect. 1568 01:23:54,280 --> 01:23:56,948 Rita Richards, who was never really serious about suspecting me, 1569 01:23:57,116 --> 01:24:01,328 would see it was another man and that her crackpot theory was crackpot. 1570 01:24:01,495 --> 01:24:04,414 The morality of letting someone take the rap troubled me greatly, 1571 01:24:04,582 --> 01:24:08,251 but paled against the hardwiring of my natural will to survive. 1572 01:24:09,295 --> 01:24:12,631 Europe with Rita was beginning to have an exciting ring to it. 1573 01:24:12,798 --> 01:24:15,884 Her passion for love and lust was contagious. 1574 01:24:16,552 --> 01:24:18,970 Only one thing stood in the way. 1575 01:24:19,305 --> 01:24:24,184 I had a few days before Jill would insist I clear the wrongfully accused man. 1576 01:24:24,477 --> 01:24:27,354 Was there a way to keep her from talking? 1577 01:24:27,647 --> 01:24:32,400 I guess she was right when she said that one murder opens the door to more. 1578 01:24:35,446 --> 01:24:38,240 Jill, I never stopped caring about you. 1579 01:24:38,741 --> 01:24:41,534 It was you who wasn't sure how you felt. 1580 01:24:41,953 --> 01:24:43,828 I was so stupid, Roy. 1581 01:24:44,914 --> 01:24:46,748 I was so stupid, I'm... 1582 01:24:46,999 --> 01:24:50,585 If you say you never want to see me again, I'll honestly say, I deserve it. 1583 01:24:50,878 --> 01:24:53,129 But what happened to make you change your mind? 1584 01:24:53,297 --> 01:24:55,674 I don't want to talk about Abe. 1585 01:24:55,925 --> 01:24:57,467 I'll never understand him. 1586 01:24:57,635 --> 01:25:01,429 That's fine. I never wanted to talk about him the whole time, anyway. 1587 01:25:02,932 --> 01:25:05,308 (WHISPERING) God, you're too understanding. 1588 01:25:05,476 --> 01:25:07,352 You should be angrier with me. 1589 01:25:07,520 --> 01:25:10,855 Jill, I'm so in love with you, but I just... 1590 01:25:11,023 --> 01:25:13,858 I just feel like there's something that you're keeping from me. 1591 01:25:15,319 --> 01:25:17,279 I'll tell you on Monday. 1592 01:25:17,822 --> 01:25:18,989 Okay. 1593 01:25:19,240 --> 01:25:20,949 - All right? - Okay. 1594 01:25:21,742 --> 01:25:23,535 On Monday, you'll know everything, I promise. 1595 01:25:23,703 --> 01:25:24,869 Okay. 1596 01:25:26,455 --> 01:25:28,206 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1597 01:25:29,792 --> 01:25:32,585 I never believed we'd actually break up. 1598 01:25:33,129 --> 01:25:36,006 I'm sad to say, but the time has come. 1599 01:25:36,674 --> 01:25:40,802 And we need to talk about arrangements. 1600 01:25:44,056 --> 01:25:46,182 This is a big step for me. 1601 01:25:47,893 --> 01:25:50,020 You've known all along I've wanted to live abroad. 1602 01:25:50,187 --> 01:25:51,855 Yes, yes, but... 1603 01:25:53,316 --> 01:25:55,358 - I want you to reconsider. - Please. 1604 01:25:55,526 --> 01:25:56,985 - Please. - No. 1605 01:25:57,987 --> 01:26:00,864 Let's just talk about the details, okay? 1606 01:26:18,382 --> 01:26:20,383 (ELEVATOR BELL RINGING) 1607 01:26:55,836 --> 01:26:58,505 ABE: Her death would have to look like an accident. 1608 01:26:58,672 --> 01:27:01,758 And I ran through all the ones she might have and it hit me. 1609 01:27:01,926 --> 01:27:06,679 My brief time running an elevator during my college days might now pay off. 1610 01:27:07,139 --> 01:27:11,393 Funny how often your best ideas come under pressure of a deadline. 1611 01:27:12,186 --> 01:27:13,561 It was perfect. 1612 01:27:13,729 --> 01:27:15,605 Saturday was her piano lesson. 1613 01:27:15,773 --> 01:27:19,943 Most of the offices were closed. There was very little action in the building. 1614 01:27:20,111 --> 01:27:22,320 I couldn't make it look like the elevator had been tampered with, 1615 01:27:22,488 --> 01:27:24,572 but I knew enough how to make it seem broken. 1616 01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:26,116 (THUDDING) 1617 01:28:20,129 --> 01:28:21,212 Hi. 1618 01:28:23,591 --> 01:28:25,884 - What are you doing here? - Hi. 1619 01:28:26,469 --> 01:28:28,011 - Hi. - I just... 1620 01:28:28,179 --> 01:28:31,139 I wanted to talk to you before I go to the police. 1621 01:28:31,307 --> 01:28:33,558 All right, if it's about anything other than turning yourself in, 1622 01:28:33,726 --> 01:28:35,727 - I don't want to talk about it, all right? - No, no... 1623 01:28:35,895 --> 01:28:37,896 I see no other way. I just... 1624 01:28:38,063 --> 01:28:40,190 I want to apologize for all the trouble I've caused. 1625 01:28:40,357 --> 01:28:42,358 I mean, I just... I can't believe this. 1626 01:28:42,526 --> 01:28:44,319 Oh, God. Oh, Abe. 1627 01:28:46,030 --> 01:28:48,323 Oh, it's a nightmare, I know. 1628 01:28:48,949 --> 01:28:53,119 I don't see any other way than just telling them the whole story. 1629 01:28:53,329 --> 01:28:55,622 What? That I murdered a judge? 1630 01:28:55,789 --> 01:28:57,457 I know. I'm going to stand behind you. 1631 01:28:57,625 --> 01:29:00,335 - I will, as a friend. - No, it won't matter, you know? 1632 01:29:00,503 --> 01:29:01,669 It's premeditated murder. 1633 01:29:01,837 --> 01:29:03,922 I mean, I don't... They'll put me away for life. 1634 01:29:04,089 --> 01:29:07,008 No, maybe they won't. Hey, maybe with a good lawyer. 1635 01:29:07,176 --> 01:29:10,345 - We don't know. - Come on, who are we kidding? 1636 01:29:10,513 --> 01:29:14,098 - (ELEVATOR BELL RINGING) - You know, I just, I can't... 1637 01:29:14,683 --> 01:29:16,059 (SIGHING) 1638 01:29:16,393 --> 01:29:18,937 - (GRUNTING) - (GASPING) 1639 01:29:19,104 --> 01:29:20,480 (SCREAMING) 1640 01:29:24,610 --> 01:29:26,611 (ELEVATOR BELL RINGING) 1641 01:29:27,363 --> 01:29:29,155 (MUFFLED SCREAMING) 1642 01:29:32,785 --> 01:29:34,160 (GRUNTING) 1643 01:29:35,621 --> 01:29:37,121 (ELEVATOR BELL RINGING) 1644 01:29:37,289 --> 01:29:38,706 (GRUNTING) 1645 01:29:40,918 --> 01:29:42,627 (SCREAMING) 1646 01:29:44,255 --> 01:29:45,630 (THUDDING) 1647 01:29:46,632 --> 01:29:48,550 (GASPING) 1648 01:30:15,661 --> 01:30:17,287 JILL: With the passage of time, 1649 01:30:17,454 --> 01:30:20,623 the awful vividness of what I had experienced, 1650 01:30:20,791 --> 01:30:25,336 gradually, very gradually, grew less and less traumatic. 1651 01:30:26,839 --> 01:30:30,842 It helped having a boyfriend who was so loving and supportive. 1652 01:30:31,677 --> 01:30:35,179 Every now and then, I reflected on the whole episode. 1653 01:30:35,389 --> 01:30:39,892 And with hindsight, gained some perspective about life and love, 1654 01:30:40,060 --> 01:30:42,020 and who I was. 1655 01:30:43,647 --> 01:30:46,482 I even experienced, for one terrifying moment, 1656 01:30:47,026 --> 01:30:48,818 the closeness of death. 1657 01:30:51,196 --> 01:30:54,991 The whole thing had been quite a lesson. A painful lesson. 1658 01:30:56,535 --> 01:31:00,288 The kind Abe used to say you can't get from any textbook.