1 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,787 They stand there, barking. 26 dogs. 2 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,749 I see their mean faces. They've come to kill. 3 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,828 And they tell my boss Bertold: 4 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:16,030 "Give us Boaz Rein, or we'll eat your customers. In 1 minute!" 5 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,305 26 dogs? - Exactly. 6 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,463 How do you know there are 26 and not 30? 7 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,673 I'm coming to that. 8 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,347 Well? - Well what? 9 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:36,072 Do you check it out? - What do you think happens? 10 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,631 I wake up! - At that point every time? 11 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,025 Exactly. It always stops there. 12 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,823 Since when? - Two and a half years. 13 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,743 And you call me now, at this hour? - Asshole! 14 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,628 Don't call me an asshole. 15 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,784 This dream is coming from somewhere. 16 00:03:56,200 --> 00:04:00,671 I haven't told you everything. - Like what? 17 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,388 You know, in Lebanon... 18 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,153 What about Lebanon? 19 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,666 At the start of the war, we went into Lebanese villages 20 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,390 to search for wanted Palestinians. 21 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:13,583 Yeah, and? 22 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:34,226 When someone enters a village, the dogs smell and bark to alert. 23 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:40,108 Everyone wakes up, and the fugitives take off. 24 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:45,391 Someone had to liquidate them. Otherwise our men would have died. 25 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,586 But why you? 26 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,584 They knew I couldn't shoot a person. They told me: 27 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,265 "Go ahead and shoot the dogs!" 28 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,950 26 dogs, I remember every single one. 29 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:20,866 Every face, every wound, the look in their eyes... 26 dogs. 30 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:24,113 How long before they started appearing in your dreams? 31 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,589 20 years. 32 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,072 Have you tried anything? - Like what? 33 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:33,109 Therapy, a psychiatrist, Shiatsu, anything... 34 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,863 No, nothing. I called you. 35 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:37,747 I'm just a filmmaker! 36 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,071 Can't films be therapeutic? 37 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,672 You've dealt with all the issues in your films, right? 38 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,430 But nothing like this. 39 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,546 No flashbacks from Lebanon? 40 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,946 No. Not really. 41 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:54,349 Are you sure? 42 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:57,789 No. 43 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,747 Beirut, Sabra and Shatila? - What about that? 44 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,947 You were only 100 yards away from the massacre! 45 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,784 More like 200 or 300 yards. 46 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,545 The truth is that's not stored in my system. 47 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,145 No flashbacks or dreams? You never think about it? 48 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,232 No, no. 49 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:18,264 No. 50 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,466 You'll be okay, huh? 51 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,145 You think so? - Sure. 52 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,666 You're sure? - Yes. I'll think of something. 53 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,470 Sure? - Sure. 54 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:14,071 The meeting with Boaz took place in winter, 2006. 55 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:18,712 That night, for the first time in 20 years, 56 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,384 I had a flashback of the war in Lebanon. 57 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:26,191 Not just Lebanon, West Beirut. Not just Beirut, 58 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:30,866 but the massacre at the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps. 59 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,873 What's wrong? It's 6:30 in the morning! 60 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:02,908 We all have friends who are lawyers, doctors, therapists... 61 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,585 Sometimes that friendship costs them. 62 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,663 But you wouldn't wake your lawyer friend at 6:30! 63 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,787 My lawyer is 10 times cheaper than you! 64 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,232 I just don't understand. 65 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:22,624 Why Boaz's dream with the dogs? 66 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:28,586 Why that to jog my memory? It has nothing to do with me. 67 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:33,710 Memory is fascinating. Take this psychological experiment... 68 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:42,866 A group of people were shown 10 various childhood images. 69 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,991 Nine were really from their childhood and one was fake: 70 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:53,987 Their portrait was pasted into a fairground they never visited. 71 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,112 Eighty percent recognized themselves... 72 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,546 They recognized the fake photo as real! 73 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,667 Twenty percent couldn't remember. 74 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,310 The researchers asked them again. 75 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,109 The second time, the others said that they remembered the image. 76 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:19,030 "Such a wonderful day at the park with my parents." 77 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,625 They remembered a completely fabricated experience. 78 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,548 Memory is dynamic. It's alive. 79 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,867 If some details are missing, 80 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:34,990 memory fills the holes with things that never happened. 81 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:43,384 So my vision of the massacre is like the fake photo? 82 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:48,272 It never happened? I invented it? It's not real? 83 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,274 I don't know. Who was there with you? 84 00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:55,264 Carmi was there. You know him from school. 85 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,194 And someone else I don't recognize. 86 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:04,594 So go ask Carmi what he remembers. - He's in Holland. 87 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,184 He's lived there for 20 years. 88 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,024 Go to Holland and ask him if it bothers you. 89 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:12,429 Isn't that dangerous? 90 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,628 Maybe I'll discover things I don't want to know about myself? 91 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,314 Not at all. 92 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,747 You'll discover important things that you want to know. 93 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,789 We don't go places where we really don't want to. 94 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:31,387 A human mechanism prevents us from entering dark places. 95 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:35,588 Memory takes us where we need to go. 96 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,463 See all that? 97 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,473 Yes. 98 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,387 It's all mine. 99 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:21,629 All of it? 100 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,994 From those trees to the river. 101 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,630 It all belongs to you? - Yes, and the house. 102 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,591 It's about 10 acres. 103 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,224 All that just from selling falafel? - Just from falafel! 104 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,234 Wow! - Come and see. 105 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:46,432 How much falafel did you sell? - Three years was enough. 106 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:51,392 In the early '90s I had a small stand in Utrecht. 107 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:55,674 Health food was in fashion. The Middle East too... 108 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,622 Falafel is both healthy and Middle Eastern. 109 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:03,708 Everyone thought you'd become a nuclear physicist. 110 00:13:04,635 --> 00:13:05,670 Who did? 111 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:09,709 I don't know, your family, my family, our school friends. 112 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:14,626 They thought that by the age of 40 you'd be nominated for a Nobel Prize. 113 00:13:15,635 --> 00:13:17,125 By 20, that future was over. 114 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,183 Cold? 115 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:24,119 Cold? I'm freezing! - Let's go inside. 116 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,993 We have to walk all that way? 117 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,588 It's funny you've showed up now. 118 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,621 Why? - When you called... 119 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:38,986 I had just gone out with my son Thomas. He's seven. 120 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,949 He was playing with a toy gun and started asking questions. 121 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,227 "What did you do in the army? Ever shoot anyone?" 122 00:13:47,135 --> 00:13:48,625 Did you? - I don't know. 123 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,466 Let's go inside and warm up. 124 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,625 Would you mind if I sketch you and your son playing in the snow? 125 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,953 No. 126 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,621 Not at all. Draw as much as you like. 127 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,832 I'll fetch him. 128 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,907 It's fine as long as you draw, but don't film. 129 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:19,944 As strange as it sounds, we were transported to war 130 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:25,593 on a little "Love Boat" leased by the army or God knows what. 131 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:30,387 They wanted to mislead the enemy and launch a surprise attack. 132 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:36,269 What do you mean a "Love Boat"? With jacuzzis and bars? 133 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:42,107 All of that? - That's how I imagined it. 134 00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:48,684 I later found out it was just an old commando boat. 135 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:53,431 For 18 you seemed pretty bright to me. I never took you for a fighter. 136 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,350 Frankly, it was important to me for a pretty practical reason. 137 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:01,543 I felt like everyone else was screwing like rabbits. 138 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,503 And that I was the only... How can I put it? 139 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:08,430 The only nerd good at chess and Math 140 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:13,711 but with masculinity problems. So, I had to prove to everyone 141 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,543 that I was the best fighter and some big hero. 142 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,905 Did you succeed? 143 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,825 Yes, surprisingly enough. 144 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,023 I felt that I was strong and capable. 145 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:31,787 Then the war started and they put us on that damned "Love Boat". 146 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,986 Then I... - You what? 147 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:41,110 I puked like a pig! I wondered what the enemy would think. 148 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,353 I finally collapsed on deck and fell asleep. 149 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,703 I sleep when I'm scared. 150 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,986 To this day, I escape into sleep and hallucinate. 151 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,986 Unconscious on the deck, 152 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:43,433 dreaming a woman would come 153 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,872 and take me for the first time, 154 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:58,271 I saw my best friends go up in flames before my eyes. 155 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,433 Where? - On the boat. 156 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:37,193 I woke up just before we docked. It's dawn, and we're in a city. 157 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,063 Which city? - How should I know? 158 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,551 Sidon, I think. 159 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:47,585 Out of pure fear and anxiety we start shooting like lunatics. 160 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,511 At whom? - How do I know? 161 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,264 Then an old Mercedes drives up. 162 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,103 Everyone fires at it like crazy. 163 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,503 Two years of training, and the fear, 164 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,150 the uncontrollable fear... 165 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:16,627 Then the silence. The terrible silence of death. 166 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:19,943 At daybreak 167 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:26,025 we could see our destruction, 168 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,104 without knowing where we were. 169 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,670 Lying in the car... 170 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,072 What was in the car? 171 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,828 The bodies of a whole family. 172 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,027 Why did you come here? 173 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,272 Me? I... 174 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:46,993 I lost my memory. 175 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,744 In an accident? - What? 176 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,708 Did you have an accident? - What do you mean? 177 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,154 In a car or at work? 178 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,023 No, I didn't have an accident. 179 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:03,353 I just can't remember anything about the Lebanon War. 180 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:07,594 Just one image in my mind. 181 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,192 Somehow you're in it. 182 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:13,953 What image? 183 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,911 Were you there too? 184 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:55,432 It's hard to say. 185 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,512 What do you mean? Were you there? 186 00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,228 It's hard to say. 187 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,989 I don't remember anything about the massacre. 188 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,303 But you were in Beirut when the massacre took place. 189 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,153 Yes, I remember being there. 190 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,307 I'll never forget us marching into Beirut. 191 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,348 But the massacre... How did you say it? 192 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,433 That's not stored in my system. 193 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,584 Right. Massacre... 194 00:21:56,520 --> 00:22:00,786 Then it happened in a taxi to Amsterdam airport... 195 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,794 Suddenly all the memories came back. 196 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,145 Not a hallucination nor my subconscious. 197 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:11,351 The first day of the war. Barely 19, I haven't even started shaving. 198 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,786 We're driving down a road. Orchards on one side, 199 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:19,944 the sea on the other. We're shooting everywhere 200 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:22,464 at everything, until nightfall. 201 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,072 That evening, when we stopped, an officer tells me: 202 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,426 "Load up the dead and wounded. 203 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,183 Go and dump them. '' 204 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,706 "Dump?" - "Yes, dump. '' 205 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,348 "Where? '' 206 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:47,426 ''How should I know? Out there, near that bright light. 207 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,104 That's where they're dumped. " 208 00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:00,388 So I drive all the way back. 209 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:05,146 I had never seen an open wound or any kind of bleeding before. 210 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,266 Now I was in command of a tank 211 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:12,629 full of the dead and wounded, looking for a bright light, salvation. 212 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,912 What should we do? Why don't you tell us what to do? 213 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,151 Shoot. - At who? 214 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,152 How do I know? Just shoot. 215 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:31,064 Isn't it better to pray? - Then pray and shoot. 216 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:46,069 Finally we see the helicopter lights. Like halos. 217 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:51,349 As we get closer to the light, we see dead and wounded everywhere. 218 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:29,750 We unload mechanically, as if we're not even present. 219 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,833 Then we turn around and drive off. 220 00:24:58,220 --> 00:25:00,711 On the first day of the war, 221 00:25:01,220 --> 00:25:04,064 I transported the dead and wounded 222 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,392 from tanks on the coast road. 223 00:25:08,220 --> 00:25:10,211 I'm looking for people who were with me. 224 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,704 Could your men have been among them? 225 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:18,709 It sounds logical... We were in the coastal area. 226 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,711 In the western sector... It's possible. 227 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,704 Do you recognize me here? 228 00:25:29,220 --> 00:25:30,312 No. 229 00:25:32,220 --> 00:25:34,211 I don't recognize myself either. 230 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:52,673 Crossing the border at Rosh Hanikra, felt like an excursion. 231 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,354 We took photos, 232 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,705 we told jokes... 233 00:25:57,120 --> 00:26:01,193 We had time to fool around before going into action. 234 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:08,743 Good morning, Lebanon 235 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:22,184 Too much pain to carry on 236 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:28,388 Good morning, Lebanon 237 00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:34,343 The landscape was beautiful, trees all around, 238 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:39,948 a few scattered houses... A really idyllic pastoral scene. 239 00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:43,511 The slow drive allowed us to enjoy the scenery. 240 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:50,393 May your dreams come true 241 00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:57,070 May your nightmares pass 242 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:03,063 Your existence is a blessing, Lebanon 243 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:06,830 In a tank, you always feel really safe. 244 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,586 A tank is a very massive enclosed vehicle. 245 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,911 Inside the tank, 246 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:15,628 we were protected. 247 00:27:19,180 --> 00:27:25,346 You are torn to pieces 248 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:32,347 You bleed to death in my arms 249 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,252 You bleed to death in my arms 250 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,550 You are the love of my life 251 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:46,272 Oh, my short, short life 252 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:51,708 Tear me to pieces 253 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,109 I'm bleeding.... 254 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:04,866 Suddenly our commander stopped responding. We lost contact. 255 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:06,872 Was he beside you? - Yes. 256 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:11,671 I saw his head slumped forward. 257 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:16,429 I went down inside and saw blood, blood in the tank. 258 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:22,907 The blood was coming from his neck. 259 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:29,393 You were next in command? - Yes, I was. 260 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,473 But I didn't react immediately. 261 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:37,267 We just stayed in the tank without even thinking of firing back. 262 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:42,069 Two minutes later, 263 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,428 there was an explosion. Everyone tried to escape from the tank hysterically... 264 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,831 without weapons or anything... 265 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,027 Those who stayed inside, were killed in the tank. 266 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,468 I ran as fast as I could 267 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,428 in zigzags towards the sea. 268 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:28,987 My only thought: 269 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,631 It's over. I'm done for. 270 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:37,986 They'll be here any minute. All I can do is wait for the end. 271 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:48,103 I saw the building from which they were shooting, and the commander. 272 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:53,469 I hoped he'd get closer. 273 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,548 I don't know why, but he started to retreat. 274 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:39,185 I felt abandoned by our forces. 275 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:47,873 I imagined how my mother would react. 276 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:52,751 We're very close. I was always like her right hand. 277 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:57,665 I'm the only one who helps out at home. 278 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,232 Like the firstborn son. 279 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,863 I took a peek. I saw them chatting, smoking. 280 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,991 I wondered why 281 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,391 they didn't notice me. 282 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:18,033 I peeked a few more times, I realized that they probably thought 283 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:22,706 that everyone was killed in the attack. 284 00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:26,146 I decided to wait until dark. 285 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,824 I had a good place to hide. 286 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,983 I don't know why, but I decided 287 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,709 to crawl out to the sea. 288 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:53,272 I didn't want to stay close to shore, so I swam quite far out. 289 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:59,186 When I felt I was far out enough I started swimming south. 290 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:00,589 How was the sea? 291 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,788 Really calm, no waves. 292 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,553 I felt calm and at peace. Just me and the sea. 293 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,792 I felt safe, because the sea was calm and peaceful. 294 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,312 But I was still really afraid 295 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,346 that my strength would fail and I'd drown. 296 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:39,424 Or maybe someone might spot me and shoot at me, kill me. 297 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:54,545 While swimming through this peaceful water, 298 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,952 I suddenly heard a loud noise. 299 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,066 I felt the water pulsating. 300 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:04,632 I felt the turbulent water enveloping me. 301 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:09,473 My body shook with fear. 302 00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:41,872 I saw lights in the distance and I headed in that direction. 303 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,874 They might be Israeli forces. 304 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:49,068 I kept swimming but felt my strength was dwindling. 305 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,903 I could barely move my limbs. 306 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:06,549 Sometimes I simply let the water carry me along. 307 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,194 I eventually reached shore and started walking. 308 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:23,469 I heard voices speaking Hebrew on the two-way radio. 309 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,110 I knew 310 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:30,988 that I had to get to them despite my exhaustion. 311 00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:42,473 To my amazement, it was the regiment that had abandoned me. 312 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:49,823 After I got back to my regiment, 313 00:34:50,240 --> 00:34:52,424 I felt like... 314 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,152 like it was me who had abandoned my comrades. 315 00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,630 I always felt that they regarded me like... 316 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:08,673 like someone who didn't help rescue his friends. 317 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:15,392 As if I had fled the battlefield just to save my own skin. 318 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:17,671 I sometimes felt very uneasy. 319 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,150 I broke off contact with the families of the dead. 320 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:26,988 At first I visited their graves, but then I just stopped. 321 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:32,110 I wanted to forget. I didn't want to relive those moments. 322 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:36,672 Visiting the graves, you felt... - Guilty. 323 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:40,186 I felt guilty standing at their graves. 324 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:43,194 As if I didn't do enough. 325 00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:44,954 I didn't do enough. 326 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:51,151 I wasn't the hero type who carries weapons and saves everyone's life. 327 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,427 That's not me. I'm not the type. 328 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,145 I bombed Sidon today 329 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:40,145 amid the clouds of smoke at dawn 330 00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:45,032 I almost went home in a coffin 331 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:49,063 I bombed Sidon today 332 00:36:53,460 --> 00:36:56,714 One month after Ronnie Dayag swam back home safely. 333 00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:00,544 The army took the beach from which he had fled. 334 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:04,623 They told us we'd soon attack Beirut and that we'd all die. 335 00:37:05,240 --> 00:37:09,472 But on the beach, we didn't think much about death. 336 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:11,984 I had a hut of banana leaves. 337 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,152 Thinking back, 338 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:19,873 the smell of Patchouli Oil still makes me nauseous. 339 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:25,792 It was really popular in the '80s. For my roommate Frenkel, 340 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:31,513 Patchouli was not just a fragrance, it was a way of life. 341 00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,787 Patchouli... How do you use it? 342 00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:03,753 Show me. 343 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:08,908 You sprinkle a drop on your hand, like this. 344 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:18,543 This way, 345 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,713 your comrades always know you're there. 346 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,704 I remember my men telling me: 347 00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:30,989 "Frenkel, you walk too fast. Like a rabbit." 348 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,665 So what do you do? Patchouli! 349 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:40,470 In the dark, at night... They couldn't miss me! 350 00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:44,953 The scent is really strong, even out in the field. 351 00:38:45,720 --> 00:38:47,153 I still use it. 352 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:52,784 I bombed Beirut today 353 00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:58,154 I bombed Beirut every day 354 00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:04,030 If I came close to death I couldn't say 355 00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,507 I bombed Beirut every day 356 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:12,909 At the pull of a trigger 357 00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,751 We can send strangers straight to Hell 358 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:23,914 Sure, we kill some innocent along the way 359 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:29,550 If I came close to death I couldn't say 360 00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:31,143 I bombed Beirut every day 361 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:35,905 Our daily routine was this: 362 00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:38,953 Get up in the morning, 363 00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:44,392 prepare breakfast on those frying pans, 364 00:39:44,940 --> 00:39:46,988 potted beef and eggs. 365 00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:49,170 On the beach. - On the beach. 366 00:39:50,180 --> 00:39:50,669 Take a quick swim, 367 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,672 back into uniform, then go after some terrorists. 368 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,025 Someone yelled, "Frenkel!" 369 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,184 I noticed a boy holding an RPG. 370 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,067 A kid. 371 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,151 Frenkel, was I there too? 372 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:46,991 Sure. From training camp, you were with me wherever I went. 373 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,871 Even there? - Yes, there too. 374 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:53,489 Good to know. Of course I was there. 375 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:59,152 Is it possible that I can't remember such a dramatic event? 376 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,187 We call them "dissociative events". 377 00:42:01,720 --> 00:42:05,907 It's when a person is in a situation but feels outside it. 378 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:10,029 I was once visited by a young man, an amateur photographer. 379 00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:13,750 I asked him in 1983, "How did you survive through that grueling war?" 380 00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:18,064 He replied, "It was quite easy. I regarded it as a long day-trip." 381 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:22,305 He told himself. "Wow! What great scenes: 382 00:42:22,720 --> 00:42:25,587 Shooting, artillery, wounded people, screaming..." 383 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:30,824 He looked at everything as if through an imaginary camera. 384 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:45,912 Then something happened: 385 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,991 His 'camera' broke. 386 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:03,954 He said that the situation turned traumatic for him 387 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:08,785 when they arrived in the vicinity of the stables in Beirut. 388 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:10,224 The Hippodrome. 389 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:14,303 He saw a huge number of carcasses 390 00:43:14,720 --> 00:43:18,554 of slaughtered Arabian horses. 391 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:23,750 "It broke my heart.", he said. "What had those horses done 392 00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:26,310 to deserve such suffering?" 393 00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:29,905 He couldn't handle seeing those dead and wounded horses. 394 00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:33,027 He had used a mechanism to remain outside events, 395 00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:36,750 as if watching the war on film instead of participating. 396 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,151 This protected him. 397 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:43,712 Once pulled into the events, he could no longer deny reality. 398 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:48,184 Horror surrounded him and he freaked out. 399 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:59,108 You told me earlier that you can't remember being in the orchard 400 00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:00,703 where the boy with the RPG was. 401 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:03,503 Can you remember other things? Like going home, 402 00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,668 chatting with friends, events from that time, 403 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,948 something that maybe reminds you of that time? 404 00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:16,193 Yes, in detail. - For example? 405 00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,273 I can remember perfectly every furlough. 406 00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,865 I remember when I was about 10, there was a war going on. 407 00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:14,411 And everything came to a halt. All the fathers were at the front. 408 00:45:15,240 --> 00:45:18,732 All children sat with their mothers closed up indoors, 409 00:45:19,740 --> 00:45:22,231 behind closed blinds in the dark. 410 00:45:22,740 --> 00:45:25,846 Just waiting for a plane to drop a bomb and kill them all. 411 00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:28,849 No one even dreamed of going outside. 412 00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:36,345 When I went home from Lebanon for the first time in six weeks, 413 00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:40,304 and saw that life was carrying on normally. 414 00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:56,390 My goal on leave was to get back my girlfriend Yaeli. 415 00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,633 She had dumped me the night before all of this started. 416 00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:23,672 Remember, how? Add some Sprite... 417 00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:25,468 Ready? 418 00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:31,589 Bottoms up! 419 00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,186 The memories are coming back. 420 00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:42,424 I met people who served with me. I almost have the full picture. 421 00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:45,752 At which point? - The first day of the war, 422 00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:48,310 the siege on Beirut. 423 00:46:48,720 --> 00:46:50,790 You remember that Yaeli dumped you a week before? 424 00:46:51,720 --> 00:46:52,823 How do you know? 425 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:59,751 Didn't you know that I was in love with her for years? 426 00:47:01,720 --> 00:47:04,314 No, I didn't know that. 427 00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:05,948 It's true. 428 00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:10,663 What's wrong? That was 20 years ago. 429 00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:13,503 It's OK. I'm not angry. 430 00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,748 At least you had your home, your family. 431 00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:22,027 What home? What family? 432 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:24,029 You have no idea. 433 00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:25,589 My father... 434 00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:31,627 To comfort me, he told me that in his war, 435 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:33,871 World War II... 436 00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:35,713 Russian soldiers in Stalingrad 437 00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:39,226 were given 48 hours leave only after one year on the front. 438 00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:52,950 They got on a train, arrived home at the station, 439 00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:55,910 kissed their girlfriends on the platform, 440 00:47:56,280 --> 00:48:00,592 then had to get back on board to head back to the front. 441 00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:02,228 Understand? 442 00:48:05,240 --> 00:48:10,030 He thought it would comfort me. In fact, he was right. 443 00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:13,512 After only 24 hours I was called back to duty. 444 00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:17,105 Back then, a new trend started: Car bombs. 445 00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:18,953 Still popular today. 446 00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:21,828 They're a blast! 447 00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:24,185 A real blast! 448 00:48:25,940 --> 00:48:29,933 So I arrive at this villa on the outskirts of Beirut. 449 00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,429 Everything is made of gold. 450 00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:42,788 Fancy sinks, marble, gold fixtures and all that stuff. 451 00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:49,192 An officer sits in front of the TV. He doesn't look at me. 452 00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,626 He keeps repeating: "Fast forward." 453 00:48:53,720 --> 00:48:55,392 Fast forward. 454 00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:57,428 THE PLUMBER COMES 2 455 00:48:57,980 --> 00:49:01,871 I'm here to check your plumbing. - Down here. 456 00:49:07,300 --> 00:49:11,293 Have you seen my tool? - Which tool? 457 00:49:17,401 --> 00:49:17,890 Fast forward. 458 00:49:30,057 --> 00:49:31,046 Stop. 459 00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:45,144 He changes the tape and says: 460 00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:49,508 We received a tip-off about a red Mercedes. 461 00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:51,512 It's coming to blow up your men. - So? 462 00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,150 Blow it up first. 463 00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:57,427 Every red Mercedes? - Are you an idiot? 464 00:49:58,040 --> 00:49:59,951 Did the Mercedes come? 465 00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:05,788 We waited all night for the exploding Mercedes, 466 00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:08,953 for this impending disaster. 467 00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:49,263 Then, in the middle of the night, the phone rang. 468 00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,033 Bashir is dead. 469 00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:54,593 Which Bashir? - Bashir Gemayel, 470 00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:57,230 the elected president of Lebanon. 471 00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:02,107 A brother, an ally, a Christian. Murdered. 472 00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:06,708 Wake everyone up. You'II be in Beirut in two hours! 473 00:51:07,240 --> 00:51:10,471 I don't remember much about the flight to Beirut, 474 00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:14,674 except that I was having obsessive thoughts about death. 475 00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:18,703 Because my girlfriend Yaeli had dumped me the week before. 476 00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,907 Death would be my revenge. 477 00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:25,073 She would be ridden with guilt 478 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,345 for the rest of her life. 479 00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:33,571 While fantasizing about my death, 480 00:51:34,580 --> 00:51:36,070 we approach Beirut. 481 00:51:36,240 --> 00:51:38,708 A city with hotels, beaches, 482 00:51:39,580 --> 00:51:41,104 and people scurrying about. 483 00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,233 We land at the international airport. 484 00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:49,703 Our Hercules army helicopter lands next to jets from Air France, TWA, 485 00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:51,991 and British Airways. 486 00:51:52,740 --> 00:51:55,823 I was excited like I was going on a trip abroad, 487 00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:58,753 excited all over. 488 00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:08,225 At some point I simply take off 489 00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:10,665 and walk into the terminal. 490 00:52:11,720 --> 00:52:14,427 It felt as if I was on a leisure trip, 491 00:52:15,820 --> 00:52:18,186 a sort of hallucination. 492 00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:20,706 Like standing in a terminal 493 00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:23,833 waiting to choose my destination. 494 00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:27,311 Before that '80s departures board, 495 00:52:27,720 --> 00:52:30,951 the choice is all mine. 496 00:52:31,740 --> 00:52:34,072 I see the 14:10 to London, 497 00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:36,425 the 15:20 to Paris, 498 00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:37,943 the 16:00 to New York... 499 00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:41,863 I wander through the terminal and see the duty-free shops: 500 00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:47,313 Jewellery, tobacco, 501 00:52:47,720 --> 00:52:48,744 alcohol.... 502 00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:53,233 While I'm still on this trip, I suddenly realize what's going on. 503 00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:57,030 Through the window I see 504 00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:01,894 that all the TWA and Air France planes are just bombed- out shells. 505 00:53:03,420 --> 00:53:04,887 And the shops are empty, 506 00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:07,107 they've long since been looted. 507 00:53:07,520 --> 00:53:11,889 And the schedule board hasn't changed for months. 508 00:53:13,500 --> 00:53:15,889 Then I start to hear sounds, voices. 509 00:53:16,860 --> 00:53:20,387 I hear shelling in the city and the bombing by the air force. 510 00:53:21,620 --> 00:53:22,791 Slowly I begin to realize where I am 511 00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:25,913 and I am afraid of what will happen next. 512 00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:34,394 We start walking from the airport to the city. 513 00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:37,985 Tall high-rise hotels hover above us. 514 00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:41,024 The sea is at our side. 515 00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:53,873 We walk along a promenade towards a large junction. 516 00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:59,750 Then we come under sniper fire from the upper floors of a hotel. 517 00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:06,153 We can't see where it's coming from or who is shooting. 518 00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:11,111 A wounded soldier was lying at the junction, but we couldn't get to him. 519 00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,346 We were scared to death. 520 00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:27,665 Then, in the middle of this hell, 521 00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:32,471 that TVcorrespondent Ron Ben- Yishai suddenly shows up. 522 00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:37,983 He's walking upright, dodging bullets like Superman. 523 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:42,393 Strolling along as if nothing's wrong, while bullets whiz past him. 524 00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:46,873 In front of him, a terrified cameraman crawls forward. 525 00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:52,070 Trembling with fear, he can't see beyond his helmet. 526 00:54:52,620 --> 00:54:54,986 It was a large junction. 527 00:54:55,900 --> 00:55:00,883 One lane led directly into Hamra street, 528 00:55:02,020 --> 00:55:04,386 to the West Beirut district of Hamra. 529 00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:08,892 I remember the sizzling sound, a sort of hissing noise... 530 00:55:09,540 --> 00:55:13,385 They were firing masses of RPGs, and it sounded 531 00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:16,225 like a Native American arrow-shooting range. 532 00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:19,985 Before an RPG explodes, it makes this hissing noise. 533 00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:24,588 You don't hear an explosion, 534 00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:28,953 but just this hissing, then the walls shattering. 535 00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:35,444 During all this, civilians are seen on balconies: 536 00:55:36,460 --> 00:55:37,449 Women, children, 537 00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:42,267 and old people are watching as if it were a film. 538 00:55:55,120 --> 00:56:00,103 They are shooting at us from all directions. 539 00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:08,309 And we can't get across. 540 00:56:08,720 --> 00:56:12,554 Throughout my military service I was a MAG shooter. 541 00:56:13,100 --> 00:56:15,091 During my officer's training, I thought, 542 00:56:15,720 --> 00:56:19,304 "You've used a MAG for so long, why not try something else?" 543 00:56:19,860 --> 00:56:20,349 So they gave me a Galil. 544 00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:27,271 And while they're shooting at us from all directions, 545 00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:32,630 I realize that I can't shoot with the Galil like I could before. 546 00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:37,912 I missed the good old MAG that I was familiar with. 547 00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:42,031 So I say to Erez, "Erez, do me a favor. 548 00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:48,832 Give me your MAG. I won't make it across with the Galil. 549 00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,729 Give me your MAG and we'll cross the street. 550 00:56:52,740 --> 00:56:53,229 I'll shoot better." 551 00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:57,866 He says, "Frenkel, are you nuts? 552 00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:02,705 They're attacking us! Stop babbling and shoot!" 553 00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:07,864 I finally realize that I must 554 00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:11,145 take drastic steps. I grab him and say, 555 00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:17,633 "Listen, Erez, give me the MAG, or I'll take it by force!" 556 00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:43,624 Whether an eternity or just a minute, 557 00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:46,190 there was Frenkel at the junction 558 00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:49,751 with bullets flying past him in every direction. 559 00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:52,788 Instead of crossing the junction, 560 00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:56,112 I saw him dancing, as if in a trance. 561 00:57:57,240 --> 00:58:00,869 He cursed the shooters. Like he wanted to stay there forever. 562 00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:05,705 As if he wanted to show off his waltz amid the gunfire, 563 00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:08,748 with the posters of Bashir above his head. 564 00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:12,345 And Bashir's followers 565 00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:14,671 preparing their big revenge just 200 yards away: 566 00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:18,550 The Sabra and Shatila massacre. 567 00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:31,631 I'm starting to remember. 568 00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:35,186 I've met people, I've heard stories... 569 00:58:35,780 --> 00:58:37,270 Stories about myself. 570 00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:39,269 I didn't want to believe them. 571 00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:44,592 So what can't you remember? 572 00:58:45,140 --> 00:58:49,634 The day of the massacre. I can remember everything else. 573 00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:54,633 I don't understand why people were so surprised 574 00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:58,073 that the Phalangists carried out the massacre. 575 00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:01,131 I knew all along how ruthless they were. 576 00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:09,668 During the storming of Beirut we were in the slaughterhouse. 577 00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:13,133 Where? - The slaughterhouse, that junk yard 578 00:59:14,140 --> 00:59:18,634 where they took the Palestinians, interrogated them, and executed them. 579 00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:21,907 It was like being on an LSD trip. 580 00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:32,313 They carried body parts of murdered Palestinians 581 00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:34,904 preserved in jars of formaldehyde. 582 00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:41,705 They had fingers, eyeballs, anything you wanted. 583 00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:49,868 And always pictures of Bashir. 584 00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:53,831 Bashir pendants, Bashir watches, Bashir this, Bashir that... 585 00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:59,906 Bashir was to them what David Bowie was to me. 586 01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:04,592 A star, an idol, a prince, admirable. 587 01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:08,393 I think they even felt an eroticism for him. 588 01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:10,666 Totally erotic. 589 01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:16,466 Their idol was about to become king. We were the ones to crown him. 590 01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:19,510 The next day he was murdered. 591 01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:23,390 It was obvious they'd avenge his death in some perverse way. 592 01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:27,273 It was as if their wife had been murdered. 593 01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:30,865 This was about family honor, which runs deep. 594 01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:35,183 Why did you come back? 595 01:00:35,780 --> 01:00:40,763 I'm still having these hallucinations about the massacre on the beach. 596 01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,230 And you're there with me. 597 01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:24,032 You're crazy. 598 01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:26,551 You're obsessed. 599 01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:31,311 Beach? What are you talking about? Who was on the beach that night? 600 01:01:31,720 --> 01:01:33,665 What beach? 601 01:01:44,320 --> 01:01:46,823 I've reached a dead end. 602 01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:51,347 I can't find anyone who was with me at the massacre. 603 01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:54,907 No one who was with me 604 01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:59,871 has any solid memories of the days of the massacre. 605 01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:03,272 I only have this one vision. 606 01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:09,027 And Carmi, the only person in my vision, denies being there with me. 607 01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:11,670 It's still real. - It's a vision. 608 01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:14,913 But it's yours. Shall I explain? - Yes. 609 01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:19,791 What does the sea symbolize in dreams? Fear. Feelings. 610 01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:25,067 The massacre frightens you, makes you uneasy. You were close to it. 611 01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:27,027 That doesn't help me much. 612 01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:32,423 Your interest in the massacre developed long before it happened. 613 01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:35,907 Your interest in the massacre stems from another massacre. 614 01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:40,586 Your interest in those camps is actually about the "other" camps. 615 01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:42,752 Were your parents in camps? - Yes. 616 01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:44,473 Auschwitz? - Yes. 617 01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:49,352 So the massacre has been with you since you were six. 618 01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:52,753 You lived through the massacre and those camps. 619 01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:57,467 Your only solution is to find out what really happened 620 01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:01,546 in Sabra and Shatila. Seek out people. 621 01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,753 Find out what really happened, ask who was there. 622 01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:08,232 Get details and more details. That way... 623 01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:13,988 Then maybe you can find out where you were exactly. 624 01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:16,311 And what role you played. 625 01:03:24,960 --> 01:03:29,829 On that day we were sent to a certain post. 626 01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:33,869 It was actually on a hill. This hill 627 01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:38,072 was opposite the western sector of the refugee camp. 628 01:03:38,440 --> 01:03:43,707 From where I was, I could see the settlement houses. 629 01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:46,668 There was occasional shooting. We tried to locate them 630 01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:48,866 and retaliate. 631 01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:56,108 The Christian Phalangist forces began to arrive. 632 01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:59,592 In full kit, soldiers in Israeli uniforms 633 01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:02,343 took position behind tanks. 634 01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:07,906 I was called for a briefing. It was in English. 635 01:04:08,560 --> 01:04:12,553 What was it about? - They told us that the Christians 636 01:04:13,060 --> 01:04:16,052 would enter the camp and we would give them cover. 637 01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:20,106 Once they had purged the camps. 638 01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:22,590 We would seize control. 639 01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:25,786 Purged of what? - Palestinian Terrorists. 640 01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:18,150 The next morning, they began to bring out civilians. 641 01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:29,749 The civilians were led out of the camps 642 01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:33,709 in a long line. 643 01:05:34,120 --> 01:05:37,624 The Phalangists watched on, constantly shouting at them 644 01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:40,304 and occasionally firing into the air. 645 01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:43,107 There were women, old people, 646 01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:48,025 and children walking in a line towards the stadium. 647 01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:56,144 From inside the tank, did you wonder where they were taking them? 648 01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:58,390 Did you think about it? 649 01:05:58,400 --> 01:06:01,790 Not really, because wherever we went, 650 01:06:01,800 --> 01:06:04,951 an announcement was made upon entering a camp. 651 01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:10,832 Civilians were ordered out. Those remaining were considered rebels. 652 01:06:10,840 --> 01:06:16,472 It seemed quite natural to say to the residents, 653 01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:19,986 "If you don't want to get hurt, then come out!" 654 01:06:42,460 --> 01:06:46,954 On that day I drove to Docha, a city on the coast. 655 01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:51,451 It had an Israel Defense Forces landing field. 656 01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:53,629 On the way, 657 01:06:54,040 --> 01:06:57,191 many Phalangist half-track vehicles appeared. 658 01:06:57,600 --> 01:07:03,152 They shouted with joy as they headed towards the airfield. 659 01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:07,553 At the airfield, I met a Colonel friend. 660 01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:10,310 He told me, 661 01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:14,352 "Have you heard what's happening in the refugee camps?" 662 01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:17,228 He had pointed to Sabra and Shatila. 663 01:07:17,640 --> 01:07:20,234 "What's happening?" I asked. 664 01:07:20,640 --> 01:07:26,272 "I didn't witness it myself, but they say there was a terrible massacre." 665 01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:32,664 Palestinians were slaughtered. I heard they put them on trucks. 666 01:07:33,320 --> 01:07:37,871 I was told that crucifixes were carved on their chests. 667 01:07:38,280 --> 01:07:43,024 They were wounded, some in critical condition. 668 01:07:43,480 --> 01:07:45,971 They were put on trucks and taken to an unknown destination. 669 01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:58,967 We saw a Phalangist soldier 670 01:07:59,440 --> 01:08:01,510 taking an old man away. 671 01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:07,790 At some point we heard shots. 672 01:08:08,520 --> 01:08:10,385 We heard shots. 673 01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:14,306 Then the soldier came out alone. 674 01:08:14,720 --> 01:08:17,951 We asked him what happened. 675 01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:24,664 We couldn't hear him, but his gestures meant "Boom!" 676 01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:29,672 We understood that he'd told the man to kneel down before him. 677 01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:33,026 When he refused, he shot his knees. When he refused again, 678 01:08:33,440 --> 01:08:35,226 he shot him in the stomach and head. 679 01:08:38,760 --> 01:08:42,252 Didn't you ever realize 680 01:08:42,880 --> 01:08:46,748 that trucks were going in empty and coming out full, 681 01:08:47,760 --> 01:08:51,753 women and children were brought out and bulldozers went in? 682 01:08:52,760 --> 01:08:53,749 That maybe a massacre is taking place? 683 01:08:54,320 --> 01:08:58,245 Did you wonder why you didn't realize earlier? 684 01:08:59,720 --> 01:09:01,244 Yes, of course. 685 01:09:02,520 --> 01:09:08,243 I realized something was happening only when my men told me. 686 01:09:08,720 --> 01:09:10,824 From the top of their tanks, 687 01:09:11,240 --> 01:09:15,950 they started shouting, "They are shooting people!" 688 01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:31,873 They claim that people were lined up against the well and shot. 689 01:09:32,600 --> 01:09:36,912 So I called my commanding officer. 690 01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:41,387 I told him what I heard was going on in the camps. 691 01:09:43,180 --> 01:09:47,025 He said, "We know about it. It's under control. We reported it." 692 01:09:47,580 --> 01:09:51,630 As far as I was concerned, the army was handling it. 693 01:09:51,640 --> 01:09:56,031 Where was the operations room, the headquarters? 694 01:09:56,600 --> 01:10:00,593 About 100 yards away. On top of a very tall building. 695 01:10:01,080 --> 01:10:04,789 How tall? - Tall enough to see everything. 696 01:10:05,200 --> 01:10:08,306 They surely had a better view than I did. 697 01:10:32,760 --> 01:10:37,345 I didn't want to walk around at night, so I drove 698 01:10:37,760 --> 01:10:41,150 to my place in Bahabda. I had an apartment in Beirut. 699 01:10:41,560 --> 01:10:46,304 Micha Friedman was with me. We decided to make dinner. 700 01:10:46,720 --> 01:10:53,307 Micha invited the guys from the regiment of the 211th Brigade. 701 01:10:53,720 --> 01:10:57,907 During the meal, the regiment commander took me aside. 702 01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:01,348 He said: "Ron, 703 01:11:01,760 --> 01:11:07,027 my men say there's a massacre going on in the camps." 704 01:11:07,440 --> 01:11:10,910 He mentioned one or two incidents, 705 01:11:11,360 --> 01:11:13,089 saying a family was seen shot. 706 01:11:14,100 --> 01:11:17,092 I asked him again, "Did you see it yourself?" 707 01:11:17,720 --> 01:11:21,087 "I didn't", he said, "but my soldiers told me about it. 708 01:11:21,160 --> 01:11:27,087 The officers sitting here did, too." We talked about it over dinner later. 709 01:11:27,760 --> 01:11:31,992 As soon as they left at 11:30 pm, 710 01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:37,032 I knocked back a whiskey and phoned Defense Minister Arik Sharon. 711 01:11:38,640 --> 01:11:40,631 At his ranch. 712 01:11:40,920 --> 01:11:44,583 Arik was half asleep. 713 01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:50,484 I said, "I've heard there's a massacre going on, Arik. 714 01:11:51,500 --> 01:11:55,994 They are slaughtering Palestinians. We have to put a stop to it." 715 01:11:56,680 --> 01:11:59,990 He asked me, "Did you see it yourself?" 716 01:12:01,560 --> 01:12:07,487 "No", I said, "but there are several witnesses who saw it." 717 01:12:07,600 --> 01:12:09,704 "Okay", he said. 718 01:12:10,500 --> 01:12:12,991 "Thanks for bringing it to my attention. " That was all. 719 01:12:13,640 --> 01:12:17,508 You'd normally say, "I'll check it out, I'll look into it. " But no! 720 01:12:17,920 --> 01:12:23,028 He said, "Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Happy New Year!" 721 01:12:23,760 --> 01:12:26,786 Well, something along those lines. Then back to sleep! 722 01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:30,067 It's amazing. A massacre took place, 723 01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:33,825 it was carried out by Christian Phalangists. 724 01:12:36,040 --> 01:12:40,431 All around were several circles of our soldiers 725 01:12:41,880 --> 01:12:44,189 Every circle had some information. 726 01:12:44,600 --> 01:12:47,387 The first one had the most. However, 727 01:12:47,800 --> 01:12:50,303 the penny didn't drop. 728 01:12:50,720 --> 01:12:53,188 They didn't realize they were witnessing a genocide. 729 01:12:53,600 --> 01:12:54,874 What circle were you in? 730 01:12:55,280 --> 01:12:57,703 In the second or third. 731 01:12:58,120 --> 01:13:01,032 What did you do? 732 01:13:02,720 --> 01:13:06,383 We stood on a roof and saw the sky was lit up. 733 01:13:07,120 --> 01:13:10,385 With what? - Flares. 734 01:13:10,800 --> 01:13:14,668 Flares that must have helped them do what they were doing. 735 01:13:20,880 --> 01:13:22,586 Did you fire the flares? 736 01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:24,274 Is that important? 737 01:13:24,680 --> 01:13:27,911 Does it make any difference if I fired them 738 01:13:28,320 --> 01:13:32,268 or if I just saw the flares that helped people shoot others? 739 01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:37,749 In your state of mind at that time, it didn't really make a difference. 740 01:13:38,160 --> 01:13:41,869 You can't remember the massacre because in your opinion, 741 01:13:42,280 --> 01:13:46,546 the murderers and those around them are the same circle. 742 01:13:46,960 --> 01:13:49,747 You felt guilty at the age of 19. 743 01:13:50,160 --> 01:13:52,344 Unwillingly, you took on the role of the Nazi. 744 01:13:52,760 --> 01:13:56,992 You were there firing flares, but you didn't carry out the massacre. 745 01:14:11,920 --> 01:14:16,471 I woke up at 5 or 5:30, and I woke everyone up, 746 01:14:17,400 --> 01:14:19,425 the whole team. 747 01:14:19,840 --> 01:14:22,912 Then I drove to Sabra and Shatila. 748 01:14:24,040 --> 01:14:25,951 When I arrived there... 749 01:14:26,600 --> 01:14:28,625 What a mess! 750 01:14:30,380 --> 01:14:34,373 You know that picture from the Warsaw ghetto? 751 01:14:35,600 --> 01:14:39,366 The one with the kid holding his hands in the air? 752 01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:43,903 That's just how the long line of women, 753 01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:47,312 old people and children looked. 754 01:14:47,720 --> 01:14:50,587 I thought about going to Brigadier Amos's headquarters, 755 01:14:51,760 --> 01:14:55,708 but as I was leaving, Amos suddenly turned up. 756 01:14:56,120 --> 01:14:57,906 He drove to the head of the convoy. 757 01:14:58,320 --> 01:15:02,268 His angry gestures forced them to stop. 758 01:15:02,680 --> 01:15:05,672 And that was the end of it. 759 01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:37,307 The Phalangists withdrew back up the street. 760 01:15:37,720 --> 01:15:42,111 The women and children returned to the camp. 761 01:15:42,520 --> 01:15:44,784 The Palestinians? - Yes. 762 01:15:52,200 --> 01:15:56,193 I said to my men, "We're going in with them... 763 01:15:56,960 --> 01:15:58,712 With those women and children. 764 01:16:00,520 --> 01:16:03,910 We'll see what happened in there." 765 01:16:04,320 --> 01:16:07,107 Inside the camp we saw a huge amount of rubble. 766 01:16:07,760 --> 01:16:09,432 My eye caught 767 01:16:09,840 --> 01:16:11,831 a hand, a small hand. 768 01:16:12,240 --> 01:16:17,667 A child's hand stuck out from the rubble. 769 01:16:18,560 --> 01:16:22,872 I looked a bit closer and saw curls. 770 01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:29,707 A head of curls covered in dust. It was hard to make out. 771 01:16:30,120 --> 01:16:35,604 But it was a head, exposed up to the nose. 772 01:16:37,620 --> 01:16:39,110 A hand and a head. 773 01:16:39,680 --> 01:16:43,309 My own daughter was the same age as that little girl. 774 01:16:43,720 --> 01:16:47,269 And she had curly hair, too. 775 01:16:52,280 --> 01:16:55,909 The Palestinians in refugee camps have houses with courtyards. 776 01:16:56,320 --> 01:16:59,107 These courtyards were full of bodies of women and children. 777 01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:02,432 The young men had been shot first. 778 01:17:02,960 --> 01:17:06,032 Then the rest of the family was dealt with. 779 01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:10,990 We entered one alley, a very narrow alley... 780 01:17:11,400 --> 01:17:14,233 the width of a man and a half 781 01:17:14,680 --> 01:17:17,672 That alley was full... 782 01:17:18,120 --> 01:17:23,274 Piled up to the height of a man's chest 783 01:17:23,640 --> 01:17:25,631 with the bodies of young men. 784 01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:30,830 That's when I became aware of the results of the massacre.