1
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,807
20 million years ago,

2
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:17,810
an apelike creature
inhabited the earth.

3
00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:20,836
[Also Sprach Zarathustra
playing]

4
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:44,359
And the ape stood
and became man.

5
00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:03,822
- Rrr!
- Arrgh!

6
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,335
- Ahh...
- Ahh...

7
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:56,331
The greatest calamity
that could befall early man

8
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,844
was the loss of fire.

9
00:02:58,878 --> 00:03:01,779
Fire... the mysterious phenomenon
that cooked his food,

10
00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:04,783
heated his cave,
and kept him alive.

11
00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:07,786
If he could not
start a fire,

12
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:10,311
he and his would surely die.

13
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,812
Even in most primitive man,

14
00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:37,304
the need to create
was part of his nature.

15
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:39,318
This need, this talent

16
00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:42,321
clearly separated
early man from animals,

17
00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:45,017
who would never know this gift.

18
00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:50,829
And here, in a cave

19
00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:53,331
somewhere in
the North American continent

20
00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:55,425
about 2 million years ago,

21
00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:58,369
the first artist was born.

22
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:19,781
And, of course,
with the birth of the artist,

23
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:23,421
came the inevitable
afterbirth...

24
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:24,987
The critic.

25
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,317
In the year 1 million BC,

26
00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:48,843
it is thought the first
homo sapien marriage occurred.

27
00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:02,801
It was shortly followed by
the first homosexual marriage.

28
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,765
One of the first weapons
man invented

29
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,801
was the spear.

30
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,302
[Pfftt!]

31
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:16,637
[Pfftt!]

32
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,458
Aah!

33
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:40,832
Aah... Ah ah...

34
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:54,310
Ohh... Ah...

35
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,323
In ancient times,
man was ignorant

36
00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,326
as to the cause
and nature of death,

37
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:04,262
so death was greeted
with a certain degree of awe.

38
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:06,925
- Aw...
- Aw...

39
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:09,264
Bungwa.

40
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:12,271
But because man
did not have the time

41
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,273
for complicated rituals,

42
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:17,071
funeral services
were often brief.

43
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,771
- Aah!
- Aah!

44
00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:19,778
[Thud]

45
00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:21,302
[Ptooey]
[Ptooey]

46
00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:26,785
Even in early man,

47
00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:30,812
the need to laugh was vital
for emotional survival.

48
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:45,329
Rrrr!

49
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:50,775
Aaaghh! Aah!

50
00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:52,835
- Ha ha!
- Ha ha!

51
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:03,255
Aahhhh!

52
00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:06,258
Music began
long before it was formalized

53
00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:08,260
into notes and phrases.

54
00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:11,752
For mankind, it began
with an accident.

55
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:14,767
Goonga heard the sound
and liked it.

56
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:17,770
Goonga begged Gowi
to repeat the beautiful scream,

57
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,772
but Gowi could not.

58
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,774
So Goonga thought and thought,

59
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:24,276
andfinally he found the answer.

60
00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:27,768
Ahha aha ah...

61
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,306
Aaahhh...

62
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:36,319
Aah ah ah ah!

63
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,287
Aaahh...

64
00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:40,792
Aaahhh!

65
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:42,795
Aahahah!

66
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:44,820
Wooh ahhh...

67
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:49,631
And so, music was born.

68
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,637
Hallelujah

69
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,764
Hallelujah

70
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,797
Hallelujah, hallelujah

71
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:57,309
Halle-lu-jah!

72
00:07:57,343 --> 00:08:00,972
Owh owh owh owhh!

73
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:07,753
Moses went to the mountain,

74
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,778
and God spoke unto him.

75
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,760
Moses, this is the Lord,
thy God,

76
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:17,262
commanding you to obey my law!

77
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,264
Do you hear me?

78
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:22,267
Yes, I hear you,
I hear you.

79
00:08:22,301 --> 00:08:24,769
A deaf man could hear you.

80
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,271
What?

81
00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:27,772
Nothing. Forget it.

82
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:30,776
Oh, Lord, why have You
chosen me?

83
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:33,779
What would You
have me do for You?

84
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:36,281
I shall give you my laws,

85
00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:39,284
and you shall take them
unto the people.

86
00:08:39,318 --> 00:08:40,751
Yes, Lord!

87
00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:43,277
[Thunder]

88
00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:44,789
Wow!

89
00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:53,287
Lord, I shall give these laws

90
00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:55,300
unto Thy people.

91
00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:57,802
Hear me! Oh, hear me!

92
00:08:57,837 --> 00:08:59,805
All pay heed!

93
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:02,740
The Lord, the Lord Jehovah,

94
00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:05,938
has given unto you these 15...

95
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,247
Oy!

96
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:13,776
10, 10 Commandments
for all to obey!

97
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:25,253
Rome... vortex
of modern civilization.

98
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:28,267
Rome... fountainhead
of culture.

99
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:31,270
Rome... blazing pronouncement

100
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:34,467
of mankind's
most glorious achievements.

101
00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:41,143
All right, now.
Columns, columns!

102
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:44,274
Columns! Columns!
Get your columns here!

103
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,285
Ionic, doric, corinthian!

104
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,288
Put a few columns
out in front,

105
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,790
turn any hovel
into a show place!

106
00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:54,292
Columns! Sir, don't TOUCH
the merchandise!

107
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,318
All right, now.
Columns, columns!

108
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:59,297
Haircut, shave,
shampoo... bloodletting!

109
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:02,301
Sooths! Soothsaying!
Get your sooth said right here!

110
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:05,304
I can tell the future!
You, sir!

111
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,307
For a wee fee of two drachmas,

112
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,071
I can tell you yourfuture!

113
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:14,307
Ha! Yes, yes! I see, I see!

114
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:18,306
I see that you are going on
a lo-o-ong journey!

115
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:21,320
Yes. You, sir,
are going to Rome!

116
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,322
But I am in Rome!

117
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,823
Do I lie?

118
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,825
- No! No!
- Ha ha!

119
00:10:26,859 --> 00:10:29,828
Ah ha! Sooth, sooth!
We give great sooth!

120
00:10:29,862 --> 00:10:31,329
Ha ha ha!

121
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,832
Chariots! Used chariots!

122
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:36,562
Low mileage! They're great!

123
00:10:53,886 --> 00:10:55,854
I'm very excited about it.

124
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:58,857
It's a new concept.
It's called a centerfold.

125
00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:00,859
- Ha ha!
- Ha ha!

126
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,292
Plumbing!

127
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,795
Plumbing!

128
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,797
Plumbing here! Plumbing!

129
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,799
Yes, citizens, plumbing!

130
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,802
It's the latest invention
to hit Rome!

131
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:14,294
It moves water
from one place to another!

132
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,308
It's astounding, it's amazing!

133
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,310
Get on the bandwagon!

134
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:22,303
Pipe the shit
right out of your house!

135
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,248
Plumbing! Plumbing here!

136
00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:27,342
Plumbing! Brand-new invention!

137
00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:36,651
Occupation?

138
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,163
Gladiator.

139
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,165
Did you kill last week?

140
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,166
No.

141
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,169
Did you try to kill last week?

142
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,329
Yeah.

143
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:48,340
This is your last week
of unemployment insurance.

144
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:52,333
Either kill somebody, or we'll
have to change your status.

145
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:53,868
Sign here.

146
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,249
Next!

147
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:01,412
Occupation?

148
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,115
Standup philosopher.

149
00:12:03,155 --> 00:12:04,213
What?

150
00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:06,281
Standup philosopher.

151
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:09,783
I coalesce the vapor
of human experience

152
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,889
into a viable
and logical comprehension.

153
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:15,093
Oh! A bullshit artist!

154
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:17,735
Mmmmmm...

155
00:12:17,868 --> 00:12:20,393
Did you bullshit last week?

156
00:12:20,437 --> 00:12:22,064
No!

157
00:12:22,106 --> 00:12:24,631
Did you try
to bullshit last week?

158
00:12:24,675 --> 00:12:26,302
Yes!

159
00:12:26,343 --> 00:12:27,674
Comicus!

160
00:12:27,711 --> 00:12:30,373
Comicus! Comicus!

161
00:12:30,414 --> 00:12:32,314
Back in the line!

162
00:12:32,349 --> 00:12:35,443
He's not in line.
He's my agent, Swiftus.

163
00:12:35,486 --> 00:12:38,319
Good news!
I just got you a job!

164
00:12:38,355 --> 00:12:40,880
Now you won't be needing this.

165
00:12:40,924 --> 00:12:42,824
Wait a minute! That's mine!

166
00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:44,828
I'm on my wine break!

167
00:12:44,862 --> 00:12:45,829
[Smash!]

168
00:12:45,863 --> 00:12:47,228
Ooh ooh oo!

169
00:12:48,866 --> 00:12:50,333
Dopus!

170
00:12:50,367 --> 00:12:53,564
I almost had
the money in my hand.

171
00:12:53,604 --> 00:12:55,162
I like that.

172
00:12:55,205 --> 00:13:00,165
I bust my anus to get you a job,
and you're angry?

173
00:13:00,210 --> 00:13:02,110
You are nuts, N-V-T-S, nuts!

174
00:13:02,146 --> 00:13:04,080
OK. What's the job?

175
00:13:04,114 --> 00:13:06,605
Just the best gig in Rome,

176
00:13:06,650 --> 00:13:09,949
a date that every standup
philosopher, including Socrates,

177
00:13:09,987 --> 00:13:11,454
would die for.

178
00:13:11,488 --> 00:13:15,447
Believe it or not, you're going
to play Caesars Palace!

179
00:13:15,492 --> 00:13:16,959
The Main Room?

180
00:13:16,994 --> 00:13:18,461
The Main Room!

181
00:13:18,495 --> 00:13:19,792
- Groovus!
- Groovus!

182
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:23,789
Let's not be late!
The show starts in an hour!

183
00:13:23,834 --> 00:13:25,301
The Main Room!

184
00:13:25,335 --> 00:13:27,803
10, 10, 10.
20, 20, 20.

185
00:13:27,838 --> 00:13:30,306
30,30,30.
40,40,4O.

186
00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:32,308
Do I hear 50?

187
00:13:32,342 --> 00:13:33,309
50!

188
00:13:33,343 --> 00:13:35,311
Soldfor 50 libra!

189
00:13:35,345 --> 00:13:36,812
Oh, no!

190
00:13:36,847 --> 00:13:38,314
Come here, you!

191
00:13:38,348 --> 00:13:40,316
The slave auction is over!

192
00:13:40,350 --> 00:13:42,818
Take these rejects
to the Colosseum!

193
00:13:42,853 --> 00:13:44,821
Sell them for lions' bait!

194
00:13:44,855 --> 00:13:46,322
- No!
- No!

195
00:13:46,356 --> 00:13:48,824
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!

196
00:13:48,859 --> 00:13:50,827
What is this with lions?

197
00:13:50,861 --> 00:13:53,329
I cannot go to the lions

198
00:13:53,363 --> 00:13:55,331
because I happen to know

199
00:13:55,365 --> 00:13:57,856
that the lions
only eat Christians!

200
00:13:57,901 --> 00:14:00,335
I am a Jew, Jewish person.

201
00:14:00,370 --> 00:14:03,771
I can prove it.
Watch this. Look out.

202
00:14:03,807 --> 00:14:06,105
SINGS: Havah nagilah, havah

203
00:14:06,143 --> 00:14:07,610
Nagilah, havah

204
00:14:07,644 --> 00:14:10,078
Nagilah, vaynism' chayh
Everybody!

205
00:14:10,113 --> 00:14:11,808
ALL SING: Havah nagilah, havah

206
00:14:11,849 --> 00:14:13,441
Nagilah, havah

207
00:14:13,483 --> 00:14:14,950
Nagilah, havah...

208
00:14:14,985 --> 00:14:16,885
Now, hold it!

209
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:18,785
I'm Jewish, I'm telling you!

210
00:14:18,822 --> 00:14:21,290
Call the temple,
call the rabbi,

211
00:14:21,325 --> 00:14:23,793
call Sammus Davis Jr!
Call Sammus!

212
00:14:23,827 --> 00:14:26,796
He'll vouch for me.
We are tight.

213
00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:28,297
Jewish, huh?

214
00:14:28,332 --> 00:14:31,301
He missed.
I jumped, and he missed.

215
00:14:31,335 --> 00:14:34,236
It was his first day.
He was nervous.

216
00:14:34,271 --> 00:14:36,796
I got an appointment
for Thursday.

217
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,809
He'll give me a local,
bup, I'm out!

218
00:14:39,843 --> 00:14:41,811
Get him out of here!

219
00:14:41,845 --> 00:14:45,474
You could make
a lot of money with me!

220
00:14:45,515 --> 00:14:47,983
Wait a minute. Money? Come here.

221
00:14:48,018 --> 00:14:49,315
How?

222
00:14:49,353 --> 00:14:52,322
I'm very entertaining.
I got special talents.

223
00:14:52,356 --> 00:14:54,756
I'll show you.
I need sand.

224
00:14:54,791 --> 00:14:55,758
What?

225
00:14:55,792 --> 00:14:58,090
Sand. You're standing on it.

226
00:14:58,128 --> 00:15:02,030
Get the sand. What the hell's
the matter with you?

227
00:15:02,065 --> 00:15:03,657
Thank you.

228
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:06,669
Yes. A little sand on the stage

229
00:15:06,703 --> 00:15:09,763
for the native
shim-sham sand dance.

230
00:15:09,806 --> 00:15:12,297
Look out. I'm going to start.

231
00:15:23,153 --> 00:15:24,780
Bop a do ba bow

232
00:15:24,821 --> 00:15:26,755
Born to do it!

233
00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,815
- Ha ha ha!
- Ha ha!

234
00:15:30,827 --> 00:15:33,295
Hey, what country youfrom?

235
00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:34,797
Ethiopia.

236
00:15:34,831 --> 00:15:36,492
What part?

237
00:15:38,335 --> 00:15:39,802
125th Street.

238
00:15:39,836 --> 00:15:41,770
- Ha ha!
- Ha ha!

239
00:15:41,805 --> 00:15:43,272
I'll sign him.

240
00:15:44,841 --> 00:15:46,331
The big turn.

241
00:15:49,012 --> 00:15:52,038
And that's the Ethiopian...
shim-sham!

242
00:15:52,082 --> 00:15:54,380
- Ooh!
- Ahh!

243
00:15:54,418 --> 00:15:55,817
He's great!

244
00:15:55,852 --> 00:15:57,410
He's good!

245
00:15:57,454 --> 00:15:59,319
The kid is wonderful!

246
00:15:59,356 --> 00:16:00,880
[Horse neighs]

247
00:16:00,924 --> 00:16:02,255
[Thump!]

248
00:16:02,292 --> 00:16:04,760
Go on, lazy brute, get up!

249
00:16:04,795 --> 00:16:06,763
You're costing me good money!

250
00:16:06,797 --> 00:16:08,059
- Oh!
- Oh!

251
00:16:08,098 --> 00:16:09,326
- Oh!
- Oh!

252
00:16:09,366 --> 00:16:12,267
Please! Stop it!
The poor thing's in pain!

253
00:16:12,302 --> 00:16:15,760
Out of the way,
or you'll get the same!

254
00:16:15,806 --> 00:16:17,467
No! You mustn't!

255
00:16:17,507 --> 00:16:18,769
Aah!

256
00:16:18,809 --> 00:16:21,277
Hey! Hey!
What, are you crazy?

257
00:16:21,311 --> 00:16:22,300
Aaugh!

258
00:16:23,814 --> 00:16:25,782
Whoa! Ohh!

259
00:16:25,816 --> 00:16:26,942
Oh!

260
00:16:26,984 --> 00:16:29,350
Ohh! Oww! Mmm!

261
00:16:29,386 --> 00:16:30,853
Little shot. Thanks.

262
00:16:30,887 --> 00:16:32,286
Oh, thank you.

263
00:16:32,322 --> 00:16:35,314
He was beating
that poor, exhausted horse.

264
00:16:36,493 --> 00:16:37,926
Oh, gee.

265
00:16:37,961 --> 00:16:39,792
Oh, he's not exhausted.

266
00:16:39,830 --> 00:16:42,060
Here's the problem. Ahh!

267
00:16:42,099 --> 00:16:43,566
See?

268
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:44,862
[Horse neighs]

269
00:16:44,901 --> 00:16:48,803
Come on, boy. You can get up.
Come on, fella.

270
00:16:48,839 --> 00:16:50,306
Neigh!

271
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:52,740
- Yay!
- Yay!

272
00:16:57,514 --> 00:17:00,483
Wait a minute.
I know this horse.

273
00:17:00,517 --> 00:17:04,749
He used to be the fastest horse
at the chariot races.

274
00:17:04,788 --> 00:17:06,847
His name is Miracle.

275
00:17:06,890 --> 00:17:08,016
Neigh!

276
00:17:08,058 --> 00:17:11,755
Miracle?
Oh, what a beautiful name!

277
00:17:11,795 --> 00:17:13,820
What's yours?

278
00:17:13,864 --> 00:17:17,493
Miracle... uh, Comicus.
I'm a standup philosopher.

279
00:17:17,534 --> 00:17:21,163
Oh, I'm Miriam.
I'm a vestal virgin.

280
00:17:21,204 --> 00:17:24,002
I'm really sorry to hear that.

281
00:17:24,041 --> 00:17:26,134
I work at the palace.

282
00:17:26,176 --> 00:17:28,269
We're going to be there!

283
00:17:28,311 --> 00:17:29,903
Really? Aah!

284
00:17:29,946 --> 00:17:30,913
Whack!

285
00:17:30,947 --> 00:17:32,278
Aaarugh!

286
00:17:32,315 --> 00:17:33,282
Wow!

287
00:17:33,316 --> 00:17:35,284
Put her there, pal.

288
00:17:35,318 --> 00:17:37,286
Man, you saved my life!

289
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,289
I'm Comicus, standup
philosopher. Who are you?

290
00:17:40,323 --> 00:17:43,781
I'm Josephus. I'm the main
course at the Colosseum.

291
00:17:43,827 --> 00:17:45,795
Say hello to some friends...

292
00:17:45,829 --> 00:17:47,660
my agent,
Swiftus Lazarus.

293
00:17:47,697 --> 00:17:49,289
Looked good, man.

294
00:17:49,332 --> 00:17:51,800
This is Miriam, a vestal virgin.

295
00:17:51,835 --> 00:17:52,802
Hi.

296
00:17:52,836 --> 00:17:53,803
Hi.

297
00:17:53,837 --> 00:17:55,304
Seize him!

298
00:17:55,338 --> 00:17:57,135
Oh, seize this, Honkus!

299
00:17:57,174 --> 00:17:59,540
Don't say that to the cops!

300
00:17:59,576 --> 00:18:02,409
Do you know the punishment
for a slave

301
00:18:02,446 --> 00:18:04,414
who strikes a Roman citizen?

302
00:18:04,448 --> 00:18:05,745
I do!

303
00:18:05,782 --> 00:18:08,683
OK. You. You had
your hand up first.

304
00:18:08,718 --> 00:18:10,276
Death by torture!

305
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,151
No. You?

306
00:18:12,189 --> 00:18:13,918
Crucifixion!

307
00:18:13,957 --> 00:18:15,117
Wrong.

308
00:18:15,158 --> 00:18:17,956
They shove a living snake
up your ass.

309
00:18:17,994 --> 00:18:21,828
Ah, no, but that's
very creative. Uh, you.

310
00:18:21,865 --> 00:18:24,231
They send you to the lions!

311
00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:25,632
- Right!
- No!

312
00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:28,968
What do you mean, no?
He was right!

313
00:18:29,005 --> 00:18:30,438
[Royalfanfare]

314
00:18:30,474 --> 00:18:32,442
- Ahh!
- Ooh!

315
00:18:33,577 --> 00:18:34,942
It's the Empress!

316
00:18:34,978 --> 00:18:36,138
It's Nympho!

317
00:18:36,179 --> 00:18:38,977
Move that miserable
piece of shit!

318
00:18:40,350 --> 00:18:42,318
- Yay!
- Yay!

319
00:18:54,831 --> 00:18:56,799
Halt!

320
00:18:56,833 --> 00:18:58,562
Stop.

321
00:18:58,602 --> 00:19:00,297
Could you please...

322
00:19:00,337 --> 00:19:04,740
step on the same foot
at the same time?

323
00:19:06,443 --> 00:19:08,434
My tits are falling off!

324
00:19:08,778 --> 00:19:10,746
Empress Nympho!
Empress Nympho!

325
00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:13,248
Miriam, what are you
doing here?

326
00:19:13,283 --> 00:19:15,615
Vestal virgins aren't allowed
outside the palace

327
00:19:15,652 --> 00:19:16,641
without an escort.

328
00:19:16,686 --> 00:19:18,483
Empress, this man
just saved our lives,

329
00:19:18,522 --> 00:19:19,955
and now they want to kill him!

330
00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:22,254
We need your help!

331
00:19:23,293 --> 00:19:26,751
Which one? The white guy
or the colored guy?

332
00:19:26,796 --> 00:19:29,765
The colored... the slave.
Please spare his life!

333
00:19:29,799 --> 00:19:34,259
Perhaps you can use him at the
palace. He's truly gifted.

334
00:19:34,304 --> 00:19:36,272
Gifted. Bob?

335
00:19:36,306 --> 00:19:37,773
Yes, Your Highness.

336
00:19:37,807 --> 00:19:39,274
Oh, Bob?

337
00:19:39,309 --> 00:19:43,268
Do I have any openings
that this man mightfit?

338
00:19:43,313 --> 00:19:45,440
- Whoa!
- Whoa!

339
00:19:45,482 --> 00:19:48,645
Well, we could use
another wine steward.

340
00:19:48,685 --> 00:19:50,619
I got a great corkscrew.

341
00:19:50,654 --> 00:19:52,121
- Woo!
- Woo!

342
00:19:52,155 --> 00:19:54,646
Hey, this is a hip crowd.

343
00:19:54,691 --> 00:19:57,285
All right.
We'll schlep him along!

344
00:19:57,327 --> 00:20:01,787
For the time being, we'll
use him as a litter bearer.

345
00:20:01,831 --> 00:20:04,026
Oh, thank you, Your Highness!

346
00:20:04,067 --> 00:20:05,967
Oh, good, oh, good!

347
00:20:06,002 --> 00:20:07,936
Good work, good work!

348
00:20:07,971 --> 00:20:09,905
Litter bearers,
prepare to move!

349
00:20:11,942 --> 00:20:14,240
Litter bearers, march!

350
00:20:14,277 --> 00:20:17,269
- Yay!
- Yay!

351
00:20:20,116 --> 00:20:21,981
See you at the palace.

352
00:20:22,018 --> 00:20:23,485
Good-bye.

353
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:24,987
Good-bye.

354
00:20:25,021 --> 00:20:25,988
Bye.

355
00:20:26,022 --> 00:20:28,217
Hey, we got to go.

356
00:20:28,258 --> 00:20:30,317
We'll see you later.

357
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:31,918
Bye-bye!

358
00:20:49,379 --> 00:20:52,371
[Royalfanfare]

359
00:20:57,387 --> 00:21:00,356
All hail Caesar,
Emperor of Rome,

360
00:21:00,390 --> 00:21:02,790
monarch of the Roman Empire,

361
00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:04,885
ruler of the world!

362
00:21:04,928 --> 00:21:08,796
Hail, Caesar!
Hail, Caesar!

363
00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:12,791
Hail, Caesar!
Hail, Caesar!

364
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:15,828
Hail, Caesar!
Hail, Caesar!

365
00:21:15,872 --> 00:21:19,808
Hail, Caesar!
Hail, Caesar!

366
00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:23,643
Hail, Caesar!
Hail, Caesar!

367
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:27,309
Hail, Caesar!
Hail, Caesar!

368
00:21:27,350 --> 00:21:28,817
Hail...

369
00:21:28,852 --> 00:21:30,342
[Burp!]

370
00:21:31,855 --> 00:21:33,846
Ohh... Ohh...

371
00:21:37,861 --> 00:21:39,055
[Bthht!]

372
00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:43,332
[Fanfare]

373
00:21:43,366 --> 00:21:44,697
[Pfftt!]

374
00:21:50,874 --> 00:21:54,332
All hail the commander
of His Majesty's Roman legions,

375
00:21:54,377 --> 00:21:57,835
the brave and noble
Marcus Vindictus,

376
00:21:57,881 --> 00:22:01,282
who returns to Rome
after winning a great victory

377
00:22:01,318 --> 00:22:03,809
over the Cretins at Sparta.

378
00:22:06,323 --> 00:22:09,315
Make that the Spartans at Crete!

379
00:22:13,830 --> 00:22:15,798
Remember, thou art mortal.

380
00:22:15,832 --> 00:22:17,891
Remember, thou art mortal.

381
00:22:17,934 --> 00:22:19,799
Remember, thou art mortal.

382
00:22:19,836 --> 00:22:21,804
Remember, thou art mortal.

383
00:22:21,838 --> 00:22:24,306
Oh, blow it out your ass.

384
00:22:24,341 --> 00:22:25,308
Ohh!

385
00:22:25,342 --> 00:22:26,741
Oh, Caesar...

386
00:22:26,776 --> 00:22:28,141
[Burp!]

387
00:22:28,178 --> 00:22:31,477
I have brought your illustrious
name before the earth.

388
00:22:31,514 --> 00:22:34,312
I've subdued and conquered
the barbaric hordes

389
00:22:34,351 --> 00:22:36,319
in the name of Rome.

390
00:22:36,353 --> 00:22:38,821
I've penetrated
into the farthest...

391
00:22:38,855 --> 00:22:40,789
What's under the sheet?

392
00:22:40,824 --> 00:22:42,314
Sheet?

393
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:43,826
Sheet!

394
00:22:43,860 --> 00:22:46,328
Sheet! Oh! Oh, the sheet, yes.

395
00:22:46,363 --> 00:22:48,331
To begin with, number one...

396
00:22:48,365 --> 00:22:50,333
a beautiful hand-carved
alabaster...

397
00:22:50,367 --> 00:22:51,959
bathing vessel!

398
00:22:52,001 --> 00:22:53,832
Nice.

399
00:22:53,870 --> 00:22:55,838
Nice.

400
00:22:55,872 --> 00:22:58,807
Not thrilling... but nice.

401
00:22:58,842 --> 00:23:02,278
Aha! But to fill the tub,

402
00:23:02,312 --> 00:23:04,780
behind curtain number two,

403
00:23:04,814 --> 00:23:07,476
treasure from the Orient!

404
00:23:07,517 --> 00:23:09,781
[Music playing]

405
00:23:09,819 --> 00:23:12,083
[Applause]

406
00:23:12,122 --> 00:23:14,283
Treasure...

407
00:23:14,324 --> 00:23:16,292
Bathtub...

408
00:23:16,326 --> 00:23:17,793
Treasure bath.

409
00:23:17,827 --> 00:23:20,796
I'm going to have
a treasure bath!

410
00:23:20,830 --> 00:23:22,695
Treasure bath!

411
00:23:22,732 --> 00:23:25,064
Treasure bath! Ha ha ha!

412
00:23:25,101 --> 00:23:26,728
Ha ha ha!

413
00:23:29,339 --> 00:23:31,807
Do it! Do it to me!

414
00:23:31,841 --> 00:23:33,832
Ha ha ha!

415
00:23:38,348 --> 00:23:41,317
Oh, Nympho. I would do
anything, anything

416
00:23:41,351 --> 00:23:44,320
if you would only
grant me yourfavors.

417
00:23:44,354 --> 00:23:48,313
How can I entice you?
How can I ensnare you?

418
00:23:48,358 --> 00:23:51,816
What bait must I use
to catch your love?

419
00:23:51,861 --> 00:23:53,829
I am your servant.

420
00:23:53,863 --> 00:23:55,831
Ah, but the servant waits

421
00:23:55,865 --> 00:23:57,833
while the master bathes.

422
00:23:57,867 --> 00:23:59,357
Yes...

423
00:24:01,938 --> 00:24:03,462
Hee hee hee...

424
00:24:06,810 --> 00:24:08,778
Ahh! Ohh!

425
00:24:08,812 --> 00:24:10,746
Here. Wash this.

426
00:24:10,780 --> 00:24:13,305
Uh, yes, sire.

427
00:24:14,818 --> 00:24:18,515
The muse... is upon me!

428
00:24:19,823 --> 00:24:21,381
Thank you, Caesar.

429
00:24:21,424 --> 00:24:23,289
All be quiet!

430
00:24:23,326 --> 00:24:26,295
His Divine lmmortality
has consented to favor us

431
00:24:26,329 --> 00:24:28,320
with a new poem.

432
00:24:28,364 --> 00:24:29,797
Speak,

433
00:24:29,833 --> 00:24:31,300
oh, glorious Caesar!

434
00:24:31,334 --> 00:24:32,631
Speak.

435
00:24:32,669 --> 00:24:34,136
Youfaggot!

436
00:24:34,170 --> 00:24:36,001
Oh, yes, sire. Thank you.

437
00:24:36,039 --> 00:24:37,973
Bring me a small lyre.

438
00:24:38,007 --> 00:24:39,531
Small liar!

439
00:24:39,576 --> 00:24:42,477
I didn't do it!
I wasn't even there!

440
00:24:42,512 --> 00:24:44,946
The check is in the mail!

441
00:24:44,981 --> 00:24:47,814
Not that kind of liar!
Tmkd hnn audht!

442
00:24:47,851 --> 00:24:48,818
What?

443
00:24:48,852 --> 00:24:50,319
Take him out!

444
00:24:50,353 --> 00:24:51,445
Oh!

445
00:24:51,488 --> 00:24:53,956
Miriam, wine!

446
00:24:55,859 --> 00:24:57,349
Josephus, wine.

447
00:25:02,298 --> 00:25:03,765
Say when.

448
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,290
8:30.

449
00:25:10,306 --> 00:25:13,798
It's so lonely
at the top of Olympus!

450
00:25:15,812 --> 00:25:17,780
More women! More wine!

451
00:25:17,814 --> 00:25:19,145
More...

452
00:25:22,286 --> 00:25:24,117
Ha ha ha!

453
00:25:24,155 --> 00:25:26,817
Ok, faggot! What's next?

454
00:25:26,857 --> 00:25:30,293
Comicus, the new standup
philosopherfrom Vesuvius.

455
00:25:30,327 --> 00:25:31,954
Good!

456
00:25:31,996 --> 00:25:34,521
I like a mountain comic!

457
00:25:34,565 --> 00:25:35,793
Comicus...

458
00:25:35,833 --> 00:25:37,300
You're on.

459
00:25:37,501 --> 00:25:40,334
[Playing Hooray for Hollywood]

460
00:25:44,341 --> 00:25:46,309
Good evening,
ladies and emperors.

461
00:25:46,343 --> 00:25:48,811
I just got back
from Venice,

462
00:25:48,846 --> 00:25:51,314
and, boy, are my arms tired.

463
00:25:51,348 --> 00:25:53,009
[Rimshots]

464
00:25:53,050 --> 00:25:54,984
[Pfftt!] Ha ha ha!

465
00:25:55,019 --> 00:25:59,115
Venice is a very old city,
very wonderful, ancient city.

466
00:25:59,156 --> 00:26:01,249
You can learn a lot.

467
00:26:01,292 --> 00:26:04,955
Want to make
a Venetian blind? Like this!

468
00:26:04,995 --> 00:26:07,429
Ha ha ha!

469
00:26:07,464 --> 00:26:08,726
Ha ha!

470
00:26:08,766 --> 00:26:12,600
Have you all heard about
this new sect, the Christians?

471
00:26:12,636 --> 00:26:14,604
They are a laugh riot.

472
00:26:14,638 --> 00:26:16,606
First, they are so poor...

473
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,608
How poor are they?

474
00:26:18,642 --> 00:26:21,110
Thank you. They are so poor...

475
00:26:21,145 --> 00:26:23,613
that they have only one god!

476
00:26:23,647 --> 00:26:25,114
- Ha ha!
- Ha ha!

477
00:26:25,149 --> 00:26:26,275
[Rimshots]

478
00:26:26,317 --> 00:26:28,114
Ho ho ho!

479
00:26:28,152 --> 00:26:32,111
We Romans are rich.
We got a godfor everything,

480
00:26:32,156 --> 00:26:35,785
only we don't have a god
for premature ejaculation...

481
00:26:35,826 --> 00:26:38,795
But I hear that
that's coming quickly.

482
00:26:38,829 --> 00:26:40,626
Ho ho! Ho ho! Ooh!

483
00:26:40,664 --> 00:26:43,497
The little fag gets it. Ha ha!

484
00:26:43,534 --> 00:26:44,899
Terrific. Terrific.

485
00:26:44,935 --> 00:26:47,301
Let's face it.
What's the rage today?

486
00:26:47,338 --> 00:26:49,863
Losing weight is all the rage.

487
00:26:49,907 --> 00:26:53,138
Everybody in Rome
is either in a steam room

488
00:26:53,177 --> 00:26:54,644
or a vomitarium.

489
00:26:54,678 --> 00:26:57,613
Half of Rome is either
cooking or puking!

490
00:26:57,648 --> 00:27:00,310
Cooking or puking!
Ha ha ha!

491
00:27:00,351 --> 00:27:02,911
But you can't
blame these people

492
00:27:02,953 --> 00:27:04,921
for wanting to be thin.

493
00:27:04,955 --> 00:27:08,550
Who wants to look like
a bigfat pig?

494
00:27:08,592 --> 00:27:10,924
- Oh!
- Oh!

495
00:27:10,961 --> 00:27:13,259
Did he say "Bigfat pig"?

496
00:27:13,297 --> 00:27:15,265
Yes, he did, sire.

497
00:27:15,299 --> 00:27:17,267
Did he mean me?

498
00:27:17,301 --> 00:27:18,666
I believe so.

499
00:27:18,702 --> 00:27:20,670
Get off the fat jokes!

500
00:27:20,704 --> 00:27:23,264
Get off fat!
Get off fat!

501
00:27:23,307 --> 00:27:25,275
F... No fat. N... no.

502
00:27:25,309 --> 00:27:28,278
Uh, there's two Jews
got off... no.

503
00:27:28,312 --> 00:27:29,802
Uh, Syrian... [pfftt!]

504
00:27:29,847 --> 00:27:31,542
Uh... No, uh...

505
00:27:31,582 --> 00:27:33,447
Politics, politics,
politics, politics!

506
00:27:33,484 --> 00:27:35,452
Politics! Yes!
The Roman Senate.

507
00:27:35,486 --> 00:27:38,455
The Roman Senate
is the best legislature

508
00:27:38,489 --> 00:27:40,457
that money can buy!

509
00:27:40,491 --> 00:27:42,550
Corruption starts
in the streets

510
00:27:42,593 --> 00:27:44,424
with the little peddlers.

511
00:27:44,461 --> 00:27:47,294
They bribe an assemblyman,
he bribes a councilman,

512
00:27:47,331 --> 00:27:50,300
the councilman bribes
a senator, and the senator...

513
00:27:50,334 --> 00:27:53,098
It goes all the way
to the Emperor!

514
00:27:53,137 --> 00:27:54,798
Shit!

515
00:27:57,341 --> 00:27:59,400
Kill him!

516
00:27:59,443 --> 00:28:00,808
Taxi!

517
00:28:00,844 --> 00:28:03,005
Wait! No autographs,
no autographs!

518
00:28:03,047 --> 00:28:04,241
Seize him!

519
00:28:04,281 --> 00:28:05,908
Seize him!

520
00:28:06,950 --> 00:28:08,315
More wine!

521
00:28:08,352 --> 00:28:09,649
More wine.

522
00:28:09,687 --> 00:28:11,314
[Burp]

523
00:28:11,355 --> 00:28:14,415
Boy, when you die
at the palace,

524
00:28:14,458 --> 00:28:17,450
you really die.

525
00:28:17,494 --> 00:28:20,463
Aah! Arrgh! Aah!

526
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,267
Oops?

527
00:28:24,301 --> 00:28:26,599
Aarrrrghhh!

528
00:28:26,637 --> 00:28:27,604
K...

529
00:28:27,638 --> 00:28:28,832
Kill him, too!

530
00:28:28,872 --> 00:28:31,067
Please, Empress, save them!

531
00:28:36,313 --> 00:28:37,644
Wait!

532
00:28:37,681 --> 00:28:40,946
Ah! I've just had
a wonderful idea!

533
00:28:40,984 --> 00:28:43,145
What was my idea?

534
00:28:44,822 --> 00:28:46,289
Oh, yes!

535
00:28:46,323 --> 00:28:49,292
Let these two fools
fight each other

536
00:28:49,326 --> 00:28:51,294
to the death during dessert!

537
00:28:51,328 --> 00:28:53,796
Ha ha ha!

538
00:28:53,831 --> 00:28:55,298
Mmm!

539
00:28:55,332 --> 00:28:58,495
Ha ha ha!

540
00:29:00,337 --> 00:29:04,637
We who are about to...
boo hoo hoo... die

541
00:29:04,675 --> 00:29:06,666
salute you!

542
00:29:07,745 --> 00:29:09,269
Salute.

543
00:29:12,516 --> 00:29:14,780
All right. All right, I'm sorry.

544
00:29:14,818 --> 00:29:17,753
I'm sorry. Excuse me.

545
00:29:17,788 --> 00:29:19,278
Thank you.

546
00:29:21,425 --> 00:29:24,758
I never killed another
human being in my life,

547
00:29:24,795 --> 00:29:27,263
But you got to start sometime!

548
00:29:27,297 --> 00:29:28,662
Oooh!

549
00:29:28,699 --> 00:29:30,860
Oooh! Maniac!

550
00:29:30,901 --> 00:29:32,766
Hey! Wait! Watch it!

551
00:29:32,803 --> 00:29:34,270
Wait!

552
00:29:34,304 --> 00:29:36,499
Isn't that Lena Horne
over there?

553
00:29:40,978 --> 00:29:42,377
[Laughter]

554
00:29:42,413 --> 00:29:43,778
Ah! Oh!

555
00:29:43,814 --> 00:29:46,282
Oh, Emperor,
spare this poor man.

556
00:29:46,316 --> 00:29:49,012
He has fought so bravely
for your amusement.

557
00:29:49,052 --> 00:29:51,520
Let him...

558
00:29:51,555 --> 00:29:53,216
- Oh!
- Oh!

559
00:29:53,257 --> 00:29:55,782
Die.

560
00:29:55,826 --> 00:29:58,317
- Oh!
- Oh!

561
00:29:58,362 --> 00:30:00,922
Tough shit.

562
00:30:00,964 --> 00:30:02,659
Oooh! Please!

563
00:30:02,699 --> 00:30:05,691
Oh, please, buddy.

564
00:30:05,736 --> 00:30:07,203
Ooh!

565
00:30:07,237 --> 00:30:10,434
Ah ya ya ya ya!

566
00:30:10,474 --> 00:30:11,941
Aah! Easy!

567
00:30:11,975 --> 00:30:13,806
Oh, I can't do it!

568
00:30:13,844 --> 00:30:17,541
Take the shield.
We'llfight our way out.

569
00:30:17,581 --> 00:30:20,106
Guards, destroy them!

570
00:30:25,155 --> 00:30:29,922
You're the first white person
I even considered liking.

571
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,727
Oh, the tide is turning.

572
00:30:38,769 --> 00:30:41,135
Hold it right there.

573
00:30:41,171 --> 00:30:43,765
In the name of Caesar...

574
00:30:43,807 --> 00:30:45,331
[Whistles]

575
00:30:45,375 --> 00:30:46,933
The rope!

576
00:30:48,378 --> 00:30:49,845
Aah!

577
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,371
[Emperor]
No! Your hands are cold!

578
00:30:54,384 --> 00:30:57,353
Find them! Capture them!

579
00:30:57,387 --> 00:30:58,854
Kill them!

580
00:30:58,889 --> 00:30:59,856
[Clucking]

581
00:30:59,890 --> 00:31:01,289
Wash this!

582
00:31:01,325 --> 00:31:02,792
Whoa!

583
00:31:02,826 --> 00:31:03,724
Oh!

584
00:31:08,332 --> 00:31:09,799
Oh!

585
00:31:09,833 --> 00:31:11,323
Oh, it's you.

586
00:31:11,935 --> 00:31:13,835
This way, men!

587
00:31:48,872 --> 00:31:50,339
All right!

588
00:31:50,374 --> 00:31:51,841
Forget that shit.

589
00:31:51,875 --> 00:31:53,365
I almostfell.

590
00:31:54,878 --> 00:31:57,346
Virgins, fall out!

591
00:31:57,381 --> 00:31:58,871
- Oh!
- Oh! Oh!

592
00:32:00,384 --> 00:32:02,443
Competence...

593
00:32:02,486 --> 00:32:05,284
Oh, Competence, tell me.

594
00:32:05,322 --> 00:32:09,782
What will happen to those two
rogues when they are caught?

595
00:32:09,826 --> 00:32:12,795
If they're captured,
they're hung.

596
00:32:12,829 --> 00:32:15,627
Not necessarily. Ha ha!

597
00:32:16,333 --> 00:32:18,130
My goodness!

598
00:32:22,839 --> 00:32:24,807
Where are you leading me?

599
00:32:24,841 --> 00:32:26,809
To the reviewing stand.

600
00:32:26,843 --> 00:32:28,811
You must choose your escorts

601
00:32:28,845 --> 00:32:30,608
for the midnight orgy.

602
00:32:32,349 --> 00:32:33,316
Send them in.

603
00:32:33,350 --> 00:32:35,181
Quickly, march!

604
00:32:38,855 --> 00:32:40,755
Arms rest!

605
00:32:43,860 --> 00:32:46,260
Very nice selection.

606
00:32:47,764 --> 00:32:50,892
I'm going to start on this end.

607
00:32:52,035 --> 00:32:53,502
Hmmm.

608
00:32:53,537 --> 00:32:55,505
SINGS: Yes!

609
00:32:55,539 --> 00:32:58,064
No, no, no, no, no, no

610
00:32:58,108 --> 00:33:00,338
Yes! No, no, no, no, no, no

611
00:33:00,377 --> 00:33:02,709
Yes, no, no, yes

612
00:33:02,746 --> 00:33:07,115
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, yes!

613
00:33:07,150 --> 00:33:09,675
No, no, no, no,
no, no, yes!

614
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,450
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no

615
00:33:12,489 --> 00:33:15,856
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no

616
00:33:15,892 --> 00:33:17,359
Wait a minute!

617
00:33:17,394 --> 00:33:22,297
SINGS: Yeeeeees!

618
00:33:22,332 --> 00:33:23,822
Ole!

619
00:33:25,769 --> 00:33:27,430
That'll be all.

620
00:33:27,471 --> 00:33:29,564
Quick time harch!

621
00:33:35,846 --> 00:33:38,337
I love quick time harch.

622
00:33:40,584 --> 00:33:41,812
Where are we?

623
00:33:41,852 --> 00:33:43,342
Don't worry.

624
00:33:49,860 --> 00:33:51,350
Who's that?

625
00:33:55,365 --> 00:33:58,357
Quick. Hide behind the drape.

626
00:34:00,070 --> 00:34:04,268
I liked your choices. You made
some very big decisions.

627
00:34:04,307 --> 00:34:06,434
Thank you.

628
00:34:06,476 --> 00:34:09,673
Stick together.
They couldn't have gotten far.

629
00:34:09,713 --> 00:34:11,112
Halt!

630
00:34:12,449 --> 00:34:13,780
All right, virgins,

631
00:34:13,817 --> 00:34:16,081
put on your "no entry" signs.

632
00:34:16,119 --> 00:34:17,814
[Giggling]

633
00:34:19,456 --> 00:34:23,654
We are about to confront... guys!

634
00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:31,292
How dare you?

635
00:34:31,334 --> 00:34:34,633
No men may search
the Empress' quarters.

636
00:34:34,671 --> 00:34:36,161
As you wish.

637
00:34:36,206 --> 00:34:37,537
You're beautiful when you...

638
00:34:37,574 --> 00:34:40,771
Shove it!

639
00:34:42,846 --> 00:34:44,814
Speak up, Mucus!

640
00:34:44,848 --> 00:34:45,815
Eunuch.

641
00:34:45,849 --> 00:34:47,817
[Speaking Italian]

642
00:34:47,851 --> 00:34:48,818
...caca.

643
00:34:48,852 --> 00:34:50,410
What?

644
00:34:50,454 --> 00:34:54,356
That slave over there.
He looks rather puny.

645
00:34:56,259 --> 00:34:58,318
When eunuchs are castrated,

646
00:34:58,361 --> 00:35:00,522
don't they become enormous?

647
00:35:00,564 --> 00:35:03,260
It's Josephus,
your wine steward.

648
00:35:03,300 --> 00:35:04,767
Please help him.

649
00:35:04,801 --> 00:35:07,269
[Coughs]

650
00:35:07,304 --> 00:35:10,273
You have to give him some time.

651
00:35:10,307 --> 00:35:12,502
He has just been snipped.

652
00:35:12,542 --> 00:35:13,770
- Ooh!
- Ooh!

653
00:35:13,810 --> 00:35:17,268
If he is truly a eunuch
like the others,

654
00:35:17,314 --> 00:35:20,283
there would be no harm
to take the test.

655
00:35:20,317 --> 00:35:21,978
Test?

656
00:35:22,018 --> 00:35:23,451
Test?

657
00:35:23,487 --> 00:35:25,421
[High voice] Test?

658
00:35:26,823 --> 00:35:28,154
Hmpf!

659
00:35:28,191 --> 00:35:29,783
Test.

660
00:35:29,826 --> 00:35:33,489
Eunuchs! Come down here.

661
00:35:34,831 --> 00:35:39,291
Let us have Caladonia do
her highly erotic temple dance

662
00:35:39,336 --> 00:35:41,804
in praise of Eros.

663
00:35:41,838 --> 00:35:45,797
And if all these creatures
are indeed eunuchs...

664
00:35:45,842 --> 00:35:48,310
Hmm hmm hmm!

665
00:35:48,345 --> 00:35:50,813
...then nothing should arise.

666
00:35:50,847 --> 00:35:52,314
Get it?

667
00:35:52,349 --> 00:35:53,816
[Bang]

668
00:35:53,850 --> 00:35:55,317
[Whimper]

669
00:35:55,352 --> 00:35:56,819
Caladonia!

670
00:35:56,853 --> 00:36:00,186
Caladonia! Let's make
their big heads so hard!

671
00:36:27,684 --> 00:36:29,174
He's a eunuch.

672
00:36:29,219 --> 00:36:30,846
Yeah.

673
00:36:42,632 --> 00:36:44,862
He is a eunuch.

674
00:36:58,048 --> 00:37:00,312
He's dead.

675
00:37:10,093 --> 00:37:11,822
He'll never survive!

676
00:37:22,539 --> 00:37:24,874
- Ooh!
- Oh!

677
00:37:25,007 --> 00:37:26,838
The jig is up!

678
00:37:26,876 --> 00:37:28,207
And gone!

679
00:37:29,211 --> 00:37:30,678
After him!

680
00:37:30,713 --> 00:37:33,307
Go on, men, get him!

681
00:37:33,349 --> 00:37:35,180
Quick. Back through
the corridor.

682
00:37:35,217 --> 00:37:37,185
He's headingfor the Senate.

683
00:37:37,219 --> 00:37:40,211
We can meet him
near the cloakroom.

684
00:37:58,374 --> 00:38:01,639
In pectorum, quid pro quo.

685
00:38:01,677 --> 00:38:04,646
In pecuniam,
sic transit gloria.

686
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,615
I didn't know
Gloria was sick.

687
00:38:07,650 --> 00:38:09,140
Where is he?

688
00:38:09,184 --> 00:38:12,153
Don't worry.
He has to come this way.

689
00:38:12,187 --> 00:38:14,155
He should have been here.

690
00:38:14,189 --> 00:38:16,180
The Senate is in session.

691
00:38:16,225 --> 00:38:19,786
Allfellow members
of the Roman Senate, hear me.

692
00:38:19,828 --> 00:38:22,661
Shall we continue
to build palace after palace

693
00:38:22,698 --> 00:38:24,165
for the rich,

694
00:38:24,199 --> 00:38:27,657
or shall we aspire
to a more noble purpose

695
00:38:27,703 --> 00:38:30,171
and build housing
for the poor?

696
00:38:30,205 --> 00:38:32,332
How does the Senate vote?

697
00:38:32,374 --> 00:38:35,673
ALL: Fuck the poor!

698
00:38:35,711 --> 00:38:37,338
Good.

699
00:38:41,717 --> 00:38:43,207
Oh! Josephus.

700
00:38:43,252 --> 00:38:47,188
The man was dead
when I got there, I swear!

701
00:38:47,222 --> 00:38:50,191
Where you been? Who was dead?

702
00:38:50,225 --> 00:38:53,194
How do we get out of here?

703
00:38:53,228 --> 00:38:54,695
Put this on.

704
00:38:54,730 --> 00:38:58,188
I'llfind Swiftus then meet you
at the theater.

705
00:38:58,233 --> 00:39:01,134
The theater just
across from the baths.

706
00:39:01,170 --> 00:39:02,660
Good-bye.

707
00:39:02,705 --> 00:39:04,639
Stop with the good-byes!

708
00:39:04,673 --> 00:39:08,575
If we do escape,
will you come with us?

709
00:39:08,610 --> 00:39:10,202
Of course.

710
00:39:10,245 --> 00:39:12,145
Of course. Of course!

711
00:39:12,181 --> 00:39:13,648
Good-bye.

712
00:39:13,682 --> 00:39:16,150
Of course! She's coming with us!

713
00:39:16,185 --> 00:39:18,449
She's coming with us.

714
00:39:18,487 --> 00:39:20,648
There's some of the senators.

715
00:39:20,689 --> 00:39:23,658
Right behind these guys.
Here we go.

716
00:39:23,692 --> 00:39:25,159
Bullshit.

717
00:39:25,194 --> 00:39:26,684
Bullshit.

718
00:39:40,209 --> 00:39:42,177
Give to Oedipus!

719
00:39:42,211 --> 00:39:44,179
[Bang]

720
00:39:44,213 --> 00:39:46,681
Give to Oedipus!

721
00:39:46,715 --> 00:39:48,182
[Bang]

722
00:39:48,217 --> 00:39:50,185
Hey, Josephus!

723
00:39:50,219 --> 00:39:51,709
Hey, motherfucker.

724
00:39:53,122 --> 00:39:55,454
SONG: Funkytown

725
00:39:55,491 --> 00:39:57,322
Won't you take me to

726
00:39:57,359 --> 00:39:59,384
Funkytown?

727
00:39:59,428 --> 00:40:01,328
Won't you take me to

728
00:40:01,363 --> 00:40:02,955
Funkytown?

729
00:40:16,945 --> 00:40:20,745
They should have been here
over30 grains ago!

730
00:40:22,751 --> 00:40:24,548
What could be keeping them?

731
00:40:24,586 --> 00:40:26,213
I don't know.

732
00:40:27,890 --> 00:40:30,688
There they are! Come on!

733
00:40:30,726 --> 00:40:32,216
Come on.

734
00:40:32,261 --> 00:40:34,252
Now, hurry. Walk this way.

735
00:40:44,773 --> 00:40:47,435
Hurry. Get into
these Trojan costumes.

736
00:40:49,912 --> 00:40:52,244
...punching a hole
in the left.

737
00:40:52,281 --> 00:40:55,250
Keep punching a hole
in the right.

738
00:40:55,284 --> 00:40:57,809
Keep punching a hole,
let's fight!

739
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:01,683
Relax. Casual. Casual.

740
00:41:01,723 --> 00:41:04,692
No matter what happens,
don't panic.

741
00:41:04,726 --> 00:41:06,557
Don't panic.

742
00:41:06,595 --> 00:41:09,689
Keep punching a hole
in the left.

743
00:41:09,731 --> 00:41:12,063
Keep punching a hole
in the right.

744
00:41:12,101 --> 00:41:13,693
There they are!

745
00:41:13,735 --> 00:41:15,202
Panic!

746
00:41:15,237 --> 00:41:16,704
- Oh!
- Aah!

747
00:41:16,738 --> 00:41:19,707
Keep punching a hole
in the left.

748
00:41:19,741 --> 00:41:21,732
Keep punching a hole...

749
00:41:23,745 --> 00:41:26,213
Captain Mucus!
Let's get after them.

750
00:41:26,248 --> 00:41:28,216
You take the leftflank.

751
00:41:28,250 --> 00:41:29,717
[Bang]

752
00:41:29,751 --> 00:41:32,185
Don't you know your leftflank
from your rightflank?

753
00:41:32,221 --> 00:41:35,213
Iflunkedflank.

754
00:41:35,257 --> 00:41:37,748
Get the funk out of here.

755
00:41:42,264 --> 00:41:43,754
Here. This way.

756
00:41:51,106 --> 00:41:55,202
Chemist, help me. I'm looking
for a pack of Trojans.

757
00:41:55,244 --> 00:41:57,542
Gee, I just ran out.

758
00:41:57,579 --> 00:42:00,241
Captain Mucus.

759
00:42:00,282 --> 00:42:02,773
Captain Mucus,
have youfound anything?

760
00:42:02,818 --> 00:42:04,786
Nothing, Commander, nothing!

761
00:42:04,820 --> 00:42:07,186
Search all the marketplaces,
the square.

762
00:42:07,222 --> 00:42:10,680
Half you men search
that area over there.

763
00:42:10,726 --> 00:42:13,718
And the others
will run with Mucus.

764
00:42:17,699 --> 00:42:19,462
We've got to get out of Rome.

765
00:42:19,501 --> 00:42:20,160
But how?

766
00:42:20,202 --> 00:42:24,400
The streets are crawling
with soldiers.

767
00:42:28,110 --> 00:42:31,204
Oh, we'll never get out of Rome.

768
00:42:31,246 --> 00:42:33,441
Only a miracle can save us.

769
00:42:33,482 --> 00:42:35,712
Neigh!

770
00:42:35,751 --> 00:42:37,218
Miracle!

771
00:42:37,252 --> 00:42:38,719
Miracle!

772
00:42:38,754 --> 00:42:39,618
Miracle!

773
00:42:39,655 --> 00:42:41,213
Neigh!

774
00:42:41,256 --> 00:42:43,520
We gotta get to that wagon.

775
00:42:43,559 --> 00:42:45,026
Wait here.

776
00:42:45,060 --> 00:42:47,187
[Whinny]

777
00:42:47,229 --> 00:42:49,754
Come on. Hurry!

778
00:42:57,873 --> 00:42:58,840
Aha!

779
00:42:58,874 --> 00:43:01,206
No, you don't!

780
00:43:03,745 --> 00:43:05,406
- Ha ha!
- Ha ha ha!

781
00:43:05,447 --> 00:43:06,778
Oh, my God!

782
00:43:06,815 --> 00:43:09,909
I'm fighting with cardboard!

783
00:43:09,952 --> 00:43:11,579
Good-bye, head!

784
00:43:11,620 --> 00:43:13,952
Hello, balls!

785
00:43:13,989 --> 00:43:15,684
Oh! Ah! Oh!

786
00:43:15,724 --> 00:43:17,214
Ahh haa haa!

787
00:43:17,259 --> 00:43:18,590
Come on, Comicus!

788
00:43:18,627 --> 00:43:20,720
Waa!

789
00:43:20,762 --> 00:43:22,195
Hurry, take off!

790
00:43:22,231 --> 00:43:24,222
Let's go, Miracle!

791
00:43:29,738 --> 00:43:31,205
What... Commander.

792
00:43:31,240 --> 00:43:32,707
Where are they?

793
00:43:32,741 --> 00:43:34,709
[High voice]
Get the horses!

794
00:43:34,743 --> 00:43:37,712
Get the chariots. Get the men.

795
00:43:37,746 --> 00:43:39,714
Onward!

796
00:43:39,748 --> 00:43:42,683
Get me an ice pack. Hurry!

797
00:43:45,754 --> 00:43:47,051
Where you going?

798
00:43:47,089 --> 00:43:48,522
I don't know!

799
00:43:56,331 --> 00:43:59,732
Uh-oh. Here come the bad guys.

800
00:43:59,768 --> 00:44:03,670
Come on, Miracle, hurry.
They're gaining on us.

801
00:44:03,705 --> 00:44:05,172
Hurry!

802
00:44:05,207 --> 00:44:07,641
Come on, Miracle. Go, boy!

803
00:44:07,676 --> 00:44:10,076
Come on! We're gaining on them!

804
00:44:10,112 --> 00:44:12,842
They're gaining on us!

805
00:44:12,881 --> 00:44:15,475
Come on, Miracle!

806
00:44:15,517 --> 00:44:19,385
Go, boy, go! Stretch out
those long white legs!

807
00:44:22,858 --> 00:44:26,851
We're pulling away!
We're losing them!

808
00:44:26,895 --> 00:44:29,420
Ya! Ya!

809
00:44:29,464 --> 00:44:33,332
Quickly! Go to the left!
Go to the right!

810
00:44:33,368 --> 00:44:34,892
Stop!

811
00:44:39,741 --> 00:44:41,709
I smell somethingfamiliar!

812
00:44:41,743 --> 00:44:44,211
Yes! Yes! I got an idea!

813
00:44:44,246 --> 00:44:46,214
Pull over!

814
00:44:46,248 --> 00:44:47,738
Pull over!

815
00:44:49,951 --> 00:44:51,714
I knew I smelled something.

816
00:44:51,753 --> 00:44:54,278
Are you crazy?
They're right behind us!

817
00:44:54,323 --> 00:44:56,223
The nose knows.

818
00:44:56,258 --> 00:44:58,556
What the heck is he...

819
00:44:58,593 --> 00:45:01,029
Why is he pickingflowers?

820
00:45:01,029 --> 00:45:02,394
Roman red.

821
00:45:02,431 --> 00:45:03,762
Roman red?

822
00:45:03,799 --> 00:45:06,927
A whole field of wacky weed.

823
00:45:06,968 --> 00:45:08,401
He's picking weeds!

824
00:45:08,437 --> 00:45:11,702
Papyrus. Rolling papyrus.

825
00:45:12,708 --> 00:45:14,175
Paper! Paper!

826
00:45:14,209 --> 00:45:16,677
What kind of paper? Like this?

827
00:45:16,712 --> 00:45:18,202
That's good.

828
00:45:19,715 --> 00:45:22,809
E-Z Widers. These people
don't know the value.

829
00:45:22,851 --> 00:45:24,512
Josephus, hurry!

830
00:45:35,097 --> 00:45:36,689
Hold this.

831
00:45:36,732 --> 00:45:38,700
Yes, indeed!

832
00:45:38,734 --> 00:45:40,702
They'll be here any minute!

833
00:45:40,736 --> 00:45:44,695
Not to worry. We are now armed
with mighty joint.

834
00:45:44,740 --> 00:45:46,207
Mighty joint?

835
00:45:46,241 --> 00:45:48,004
Let's go, Miracle!

836
00:45:48,043 --> 00:45:50,409
Hurry! You've got to catch them!

837
00:45:52,447 --> 00:45:53,937
Quickly! After them!

838
00:46:03,291 --> 00:46:06,419
We've got to...
We've got to...

839
00:46:06,461 --> 00:46:08,827
get... moving.

840
00:46:08,864 --> 00:46:11,059
It's working!

841
00:46:11,099 --> 00:46:12,430
It's working!

842
00:46:12,467 --> 00:46:15,436
We got to stay loose, you know.

843
00:46:15,470 --> 00:46:16,937
Let it cool...

844
00:46:16,972 --> 00:46:19,964
Let the coolness
get into our vertebrae.

845
00:46:20,008 --> 00:46:21,441
Woo! Woo!

846
00:46:21,476 --> 00:46:22,943
Woo!

847
00:46:22,978 --> 00:46:24,445
Woo! Woo!

848
00:46:24,479 --> 00:46:25,946
Woo! Woo!

849
00:46:25,981 --> 00:46:29,144
Yahoo! Yeeha!

850
00:46:34,990 --> 00:46:36,958
You men go northward!

851
00:46:36,992 --> 00:46:38,960
You go southward!

852
00:46:38,994 --> 00:46:42,486
I'm going to walk here
round in a circle.

853
00:46:47,302 --> 00:46:49,770
What will we do?
We're trapped.

854
00:46:51,706 --> 00:46:52,832
Who's that?

855
00:46:52,874 --> 00:46:54,842
Look what he's done.

856
00:46:54,876 --> 00:46:56,776
Oh, my God!

857
00:47:00,549 --> 00:47:02,915
Oh, what a wonderful man!

858
00:47:02,951 --> 00:47:04,418
Wow.

859
00:47:04,453 --> 00:47:05,943
Let's go, Miracle!

860
00:47:20,969 --> 00:47:22,960
And keep 'em up.

861
00:47:26,975 --> 00:47:29,944
You son of a bitch!
You bastard!

862
00:47:29,978 --> 00:47:32,947
An old man,
they don't let you live.

863
00:47:32,981 --> 00:47:34,949
They don't let you breathe.

864
00:47:34,983 --> 00:47:36,610
[Muttering in Hebrew]

865
00:47:36,651 --> 00:47:38,312
That son of a bitch!

866
00:47:41,156 --> 00:47:42,623
Go this way.

867
00:47:42,657 --> 00:47:43,954
Why?

868
00:47:43,992 --> 00:47:46,961
It's a short cut to the port.

869
00:47:46,995 --> 00:47:49,463
There's a ship
leavingforJudea.

870
00:47:49,498 --> 00:47:51,398
- Judea?
- Judea!

871
00:47:57,873 --> 00:48:01,400
I'm going to stay right here.

872
00:48:01,443 --> 00:48:05,038
No, I'm going to move here.

873
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:07,412
Do you care if itfalls?

874
00:48:07,449 --> 00:48:08,916
What?

875
00:48:08,950 --> 00:48:10,417
The Roman Empire.

876
00:48:10,452 --> 00:48:11,942
Fuck it.

877
00:48:14,756 --> 00:48:18,590
Is that our men?
Why have they stopped?

878
00:48:20,962 --> 00:48:22,429
Oh, Marcus...

879
00:48:22,464 --> 00:48:24,432
Why have you stopped?

880
00:48:24,466 --> 00:48:26,934
Why aren't you still
chasing them?

881
00:48:26,968 --> 00:48:29,129
Have you lost your senses?

882
00:48:29,170 --> 00:48:32,435
Do you want to be stripped
of your rank?

883
00:48:32,474 --> 00:48:35,932
Do you want to be
thrown into the dungeon?

884
00:48:35,977 --> 00:48:38,309
Do you want to dance?

885
00:48:38,346 --> 00:48:39,938
Lindus!

886
00:48:39,981 --> 00:48:41,972
[Big band music playing]

887
00:49:14,015 --> 00:49:15,915
Look, there's the ship

888
00:49:15,951 --> 00:49:18,920
that will take us to Judea!

889
00:49:18,954 --> 00:49:23,015
SING: We're off
on the road to Judea

890
00:49:23,058 --> 00:49:27,586
We certainly do get around

891
00:49:27,629 --> 00:49:29,563
Boom chicky boom chicky
boom chicky boom...

892
00:49:39,307 --> 00:49:43,937
See. I told you there was work
to be found here.

893
00:49:43,979 --> 00:49:45,446
You're right.

894
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:47,948
"Help wanted. Cashier, waiter,
and dishwasher."

895
00:49:47,983 --> 00:49:49,951
I'm going to be... waiter.

896
00:49:49,985 --> 00:49:51,452
I'll be cashier.

897
00:49:51,486 --> 00:49:53,954
I'll be the hat check girl.

898
00:49:53,989 --> 00:49:55,854
All right,
I'll be the dishwasher.

899
00:49:55,890 --> 00:49:59,451
I'll scout the area
for a possible club date.

900
00:49:59,494 --> 00:50:00,961
I'll try Galilee.

901
00:50:00,996 --> 00:50:03,362
King Herod is
bringing in gambling!

902
00:50:03,398 --> 00:50:05,866
[As John Wayne]
Let's go, Miracle.

903
00:50:05,900 --> 00:50:07,458
Take care, Swiftus.

904
00:50:07,502 --> 00:50:09,993
Bye! Bye, Miracle.

905
00:50:12,007 --> 00:50:13,474
Comicus!

906
00:50:13,508 --> 00:50:15,476
[Claps hands]

907
00:50:15,510 --> 00:50:17,000
Sir.

908
00:50:19,414 --> 00:50:22,474
Now, tonight we have
a private party.

909
00:50:22,517 --> 00:50:23,984
Take their orders.

910
00:50:24,019 --> 00:50:25,486
Be correct.

911
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:26,987
Be polite.

912
00:50:27,022 --> 00:50:30,480
And push the mulled wine.
We're stuck with it.

913
00:50:30,525 --> 00:50:32,493
Don't write it now. Go.

914
00:50:32,527 --> 00:50:33,824
Yes, sir.

915
00:50:33,862 --> 00:50:36,990
You can't get
any good help today.

916
00:50:37,032 --> 00:50:38,431
Pfft!

917
00:50:41,369 --> 00:50:43,496
Before this night is over,

918
00:50:43,538 --> 00:50:46,507
one of you shall betray me
three times.

919
00:50:46,541 --> 00:50:48,008
- No.
- No. No.

920
00:50:48,043 --> 00:50:52,002
How can youfeel that
anyone here would betray you,

921
00:50:52,047 --> 00:50:55,278
you who we wouldfollow
even unto our death?

922
00:50:55,316 --> 00:50:57,511
Does everybody want soup?

923
00:50:57,552 --> 00:50:59,520
Please, we must talk.

924
00:50:59,554 --> 00:51:01,954
This may be our last supper.

925
00:51:01,990 --> 00:51:03,958
It's my first order.

926
00:51:03,992 --> 00:51:07,450
Are you all together,
or is it separate checks?

927
00:51:07,495 --> 00:51:09,895
Please go away!

928
00:51:09,931 --> 00:51:11,455
All right, OK.

929
00:51:11,499 --> 00:51:13,467
Yea, yea, so you say,

930
00:51:13,501 --> 00:51:15,969
but one who sits amongst us

931
00:51:16,004 --> 00:51:17,972
has already betrayed me.

932
00:51:18,006 --> 00:51:19,564
- Who?
- Who?

933
00:51:19,607 --> 00:51:21,472
Who can it be?

934
00:51:21,509 --> 00:51:23,977
Judas! Do you want a beverage?

935
00:51:24,012 --> 00:51:25,980
Try the mulled wine.

936
00:51:26,014 --> 00:51:27,140
No!

937
00:51:27,182 --> 00:51:28,740
Go! Go! Go!

938
00:51:28,783 --> 00:51:31,343
All right. All right. Jesus.

939
00:51:31,386 --> 00:51:32,353
Yes?

940
00:51:32,387 --> 00:51:33,581
What?

941
00:51:33,621 --> 00:51:34,918
What?

942
00:51:34,956 --> 00:51:35,923
What?

943
00:51:35,957 --> 00:51:37,219
Yes.

944
00:51:37,258 --> 00:51:39,089
Jesus!

945
00:51:39,127 --> 00:51:39,957
What?

946
00:51:39,994 --> 00:51:42,053
W... you said "what."

947
00:51:42,097 --> 00:51:43,997
What?

948
00:51:44,032 --> 00:51:44,930
Nothing.

949
00:51:44,966 --> 00:51:46,991
Ah, Leonardo.

950
00:51:47,035 --> 00:51:48,502
Buon giorno.

951
00:51:48,536 --> 00:51:50,003
Just a second.

952
00:51:50,038 --> 00:51:53,007
It's all right.
We ordered a group portrait.

953
00:51:53,041 --> 00:51:55,908
Ahh.

954
00:51:58,546 --> 00:52:01,447
Oh!

955
00:52:01,483 --> 00:52:03,951
This is no good.

956
00:52:03,985 --> 00:52:06,476
All I got is the backs.

957
00:52:09,991 --> 00:52:12,960
OK. Everybody want
to be in the picture,

958
00:52:12,994 --> 00:52:16,327
go to the other side
of the table.

959
00:52:29,511 --> 00:52:31,206
Hold it.

960
00:52:51,833 --> 00:52:55,929
[Gregorian chant]

961
00:53:06,448 --> 00:53:08,575
Aah!

962
00:53:08,617 --> 00:53:10,414
[Whip cracks]

963
00:53:10,452 --> 00:53:12,249
Aah!

964
00:53:12,287 --> 00:53:14,755
[Crack!]

965
00:53:14,790 --> 00:53:16,451
Aah!

966
00:53:21,196 --> 00:53:24,996
The year was 1489.

967
00:53:25,033 --> 00:53:27,900
The black plague
ravaged the continent.

968
00:53:27,936 --> 00:53:32,305
It was the hour
of the infamous auto-da-f�,

969
00:53:32,340 --> 00:53:35,434
where, for public amusement,
heretics and nonbelievers

970
00:53:35,477 --> 00:53:39,880
were tortured and burned
in a carnival-like atmosphere.

971
00:53:39,915 --> 00:53:43,282
And it was guided
by the mostfearful specter

972
00:53:43,318 --> 00:53:46,378
to ever sit in judgment
over good and evil...

973
00:53:46,421 --> 00:53:48,412
The Grand Inquisitor...

974
00:53:48,457 --> 00:53:50,891
Torquemada.

975
00:53:50,926 --> 00:53:54,885
All pay heed! Now enters
his holiness, Torquemada,

976
00:53:54,930 --> 00:53:59,026
the Grand Inquisitor
of the Spanish Inquisition.

977
00:53:59,067 --> 00:54:01,934
[Gong]

978
00:54:06,274 --> 00:54:10,404
Torquemada... do not
implore him for compassion.

979
00:54:10,445 --> 00:54:13,903
Torquemada... do not beg him
forforgiveness.

980
00:54:13,949 --> 00:54:17,407
Torquemada... do not
ask him for mercy.

981
00:54:17,452 --> 00:54:20,910
Let's face it. You can't
talk him outta anything.

982
00:54:20,956 --> 00:54:22,617
[Gong]

983
00:54:22,657 --> 00:54:26,923
Let all those who wish
to confess their evil ways

984
00:54:26,962 --> 00:54:30,420
and to accept and embrace
the true church

985
00:54:30,465 --> 00:54:34,925
convert now
orforever burn in hell,

986
00:54:34,970 --> 00:54:39,134
for now begins
the Inquisition!

987
00:54:44,479 --> 00:54:45,946
SONG: The Inquisition

988
00:54:45,981 --> 00:54:46,709
Let's begin

989
00:54:46,748 --> 00:54:48,215
The Inquisition

990
00:54:48,250 --> 00:54:49,217
Look out, sin

991
00:54:49,251 --> 00:54:50,718
We have a mission

992
00:54:50,752 --> 00:54:52,049
To convert the Jews

993
00:54:52,087 --> 00:54:53,918
Jew Jew Jew
Jew Jew Jew Jews

994
00:54:53,955 --> 00:54:55,388
We're gonna teach them

995
00:54:55,423 --> 00:54:56,219
Wrongfrom right

996
00:54:56,258 --> 00:54:57,725
We're gonna help them

997
00:54:57,759 --> 00:54:58,726
See the light

998
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:00,057
And make an offer

999
00:55:00,095 --> 00:55:01,722
That they can't refuse

1000
00:55:01,763 --> 00:55:03,390
That the Jews just can't refuse

1001
00:55:03,431 --> 00:55:04,398
Confess

1002
00:55:04,432 --> 00:55:05,399
Confess, confess

1003
00:55:05,433 --> 00:55:07,901
Don't be boring

1004
00:55:07,936 --> 00:55:09,062
Say yes

1005
00:55:09,104 --> 00:55:10,230
Say yes, say yes

1006
00:55:10,272 --> 00:55:11,705
Don't be dull

1007
00:55:12,941 --> 00:55:14,738
Afact

1008
00:55:14,776 --> 00:55:17,574
You're ignoring

1009
00:55:17,612 --> 00:55:21,139
It's better to lose
your skullcap than your skull

1010
00:55:21,183 --> 00:55:22,115
Oy gevalt!

1011
00:55:22,150 --> 00:55:23,742
The Inquisition

1012
00:55:23,785 --> 00:55:24,752
What a show

1013
00:55:24,786 --> 00:55:26,083
The Inquisition

1014
00:55:26,121 --> 00:55:27,088
Here we go

1015
00:55:27,122 --> 00:55:28,589
We know you're wishin'

1016
00:55:28,623 --> 00:55:31,922
That we'd go away

1017
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:33,587
But the Inquisition's here

1018
00:55:33,628 --> 00:55:35,255
And it's here to stay

1019
00:55:35,297 --> 00:55:37,265
The Inquisition, oh, boy

1020
00:55:37,299 --> 00:55:39,767
The Inquisition, what joy

1021
00:55:39,801 --> 00:55:42,133
The Inquisition,
Oy! Oy!

1022
00:55:44,472 --> 00:55:48,033
I was sitting in a temple,
minding my own business

1023
00:55:48,076 --> 00:55:51,102
I was listening
to a lovely Hebrew mass

1024
00:55:51,146 --> 00:55:52,704
Then these Papist persons
plunge in

1025
00:55:52,747 --> 00:55:54,374
And they throw me
in a dungeon

1026
00:55:54,416 --> 00:55:57,078
And they shove
a red-hot poker up my ass

1027
00:55:57,118 --> 00:56:00,884
Is that considerate?
Is that polite?

1028
00:56:00,922 --> 00:56:05,325
And not a tube
of Preparation H in sight

1029
00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:07,225
I'm sittin' flickin' chickens

1030
00:56:07,262 --> 00:56:08,889
And I'm lookin'
through the pickin's

1031
00:56:08,930 --> 00:56:12,127
And suddenly these goys
break down my walls

1032
00:56:12,167 --> 00:56:13,566
I didn't even know them

1033
00:56:13,602 --> 00:56:15,069
And they grabbed me
by the scrotum

1034
00:56:15,103 --> 00:56:18,004
And they started playing
ping-pong with my balls

1035
00:56:18,039 --> 00:56:19,734
Oy, the agony!

1036
00:56:19,774 --> 00:56:21,742
Ooh, the shame!

1037
00:56:21,776 --> 00:56:24,609
To make my privates
public for a game

1038
00:56:29,951 --> 00:56:31,418
The Inquisition

1039
00:56:31,453 --> 00:56:32,420
What a show

1040
00:56:32,454 --> 00:56:33,921
The Inquisition

1041
00:56:33,955 --> 00:56:34,922
Here we go

1042
00:56:34,956 --> 00:56:36,583
We know you're wishin'

1043
00:56:36,625 --> 00:56:39,924
That we'd go away

1044
00:56:39,961 --> 00:56:41,929
But the Inquisition's here

1045
00:56:41,963 --> 00:56:43,089
And it's here to...

1046
00:56:43,131 --> 00:56:45,429
Hey, Torquemada,
what do you say?

1047
00:56:45,467 --> 00:56:47,594
I just got back
from the auto-da-f�

1048
00:56:47,636 --> 00:56:50,036
Auto-da-f�?
What's an auto-da-f�?

1049
00:56:50,071 --> 00:56:53,199
It's what you oughtn't to do,
but you do anyway

1050
00:56:55,477 --> 00:56:57,377
Skit skat voodle de vat
and toodle de day

1051
00:56:57,412 --> 00:56:58,640
Will you convert?

1052
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:00,375
No, no, no, no

1053
00:57:00,415 --> 00:57:01,382
Will you confess?

1054
00:57:01,416 --> 00:57:02,883
No, no, no, no

1055
00:57:02,917 --> 00:57:03,884
Will you revert?

1056
00:57:03,918 --> 00:57:05,385
No, no, no, no

1057
00:57:05,420 --> 00:57:06,546
Will you say yes?

1058
00:57:06,588 --> 00:57:08,055
No, no, no, no

1059
00:57:08,089 --> 00:57:10,717
Now I ask in a nice way,
I said "pretty please"

1060
00:57:10,759 --> 00:57:14,092
I bent their ears,
now I'll work on their knees

1061
00:57:20,101 --> 00:57:21,398
Aaah!

1062
00:57:21,436 --> 00:57:23,427
Ha ha!

1063
00:57:33,882 --> 00:57:36,077
Ha ha ha ha!

1064
00:57:36,117 --> 00:57:38,608
Hey, Torquemada,
walk this way

1065
00:57:40,522 --> 00:57:43,423
We got a little game
that you might want to play

1066
00:57:43,458 --> 00:57:46,256
So pull that handle,
try your luck

1067
00:57:46,294 --> 00:57:49,923
Who knows, Torque?
You might win a buck

1068
00:57:59,908 --> 00:58:02,877
[Bell rings]

1069
00:58:07,682 --> 00:58:10,378
Put it in the car.

1070
00:58:10,418 --> 00:58:12,511
- In the car.
- In the car.

1071
00:58:15,423 --> 00:58:17,948
How we doing?
Any converts today?

1072
00:58:17,992 --> 00:58:20,961
- Not a one.
- Nay, nay, nay.

1073
00:58:20,995 --> 00:58:24,396
We'llflatten theirfingers,
we've branded their buns.

1074
00:58:24,432 --> 00:58:27,401
Nothing is working.

1075
00:58:27,435 --> 00:58:29,801
Send in the nuns!

1076
00:58:29,838 --> 00:58:33,934
[Bell tolls]

1077
00:59:30,165 --> 00:59:32,224
Whoa!

1078
00:59:35,270 --> 00:59:37,101
Aaah!

1079
00:59:55,957 --> 00:59:57,891
Oy!

1080
01:00:40,435 --> 01:00:42,062
The Inquisition

1081
01:00:42,103 --> 01:00:44,071
What a show

1082
01:00:44,105 --> 01:00:45,572
The Inquisition

1083
01:00:45,607 --> 01:00:47,666
Here we go

1084
01:00:47,709 --> 01:00:49,176
We know you're wishin'

1085
01:00:49,210 --> 01:00:53,670
That we'd go away

1086
01:00:53,715 --> 01:00:57,344
So come on, you Moslems
and you Jews

1087
01:00:57,385 --> 01:01:00,354
We've got big news
for all of yous

1088
01:01:00,388 --> 01:01:03,357
You better change
your point of views

1089
01:01:03,391 --> 01:01:06,189
Today

1090
01:01:06,227 --> 01:01:09,025
'Cause the Inquisition's here

1091
01:01:09,063 --> 01:01:11,361
And it's here

1092
01:01:11,399 --> 01:01:12,866
To

1093
01:01:12,901 --> 01:01:18,396
Stay

1094
01:01:30,652 --> 01:01:33,746
[Playing La Marseillaise]

1095
01:01:35,423 --> 01:01:38,881
Paris. A city filled
with poverty,

1096
01:01:38,927 --> 01:01:41,896
misery, and despair.

1097
01:01:41,930 --> 01:01:45,422
The time was ripe
for revolution.

1098
01:01:46,868 --> 01:01:49,268
Apple cores!

1099
01:01:49,304 --> 01:01:53,331
Freshly picked
from the garbage of the rich!

1100
01:01:53,374 --> 01:01:55,171
Apple cores!

1101
01:01:55,209 --> 01:01:57,006
Apple cores!

1102
01:01:57,045 --> 01:01:59,343
Rats! Rats!

1103
01:01:59,380 --> 01:02:02,008
Nice dead rats for sale!

1104
01:02:02,050 --> 01:02:04,348
Perfectfor rat stew,

1105
01:02:04,385 --> 01:02:06,853
rat soup, rat pie,

1106
01:02:06,888 --> 01:02:08,856
and the ever popular

1107
01:02:08,890 --> 01:02:10,858
ratatouille.

1108
01:02:10,892 --> 01:02:12,359
Nothing!

1109
01:02:12,393 --> 01:02:13,860
Nothing!

1110
01:02:13,895 --> 01:02:16,329
I got absolutely
nothingfor sale!

1111
01:02:18,566 --> 01:02:21,364
Rats! Rats!

1112
01:02:21,402 --> 01:02:24,132
Sir, help me. I'm starving.

1113
01:02:24,172 --> 01:02:25,366
Help me.

1114
01:02:25,406 --> 01:02:27,874
Get away, you swine.

1115
01:02:27,909 --> 01:02:30,377
Please! Money, food,
anything. Help me.

1116
01:02:30,411 --> 01:02:33,574
Get yourfilthy hands
off me. Begone!

1117
01:02:36,417 --> 01:02:37,884
- Please!
- Please!

1118
01:02:37,919 --> 01:02:39,887
I'm starving to death!

1119
01:02:39,921 --> 01:02:43,379
Look what we have come to...

1120
01:02:43,424 --> 01:02:47,326
beggars beggingfrom beggars.

1121
01:02:56,437 --> 01:02:58,405
Bonjour, Madame de Farge.

1122
01:02:58,439 --> 01:03:01,101
Bonjour, scum.

1123
01:03:01,142 --> 01:03:03,508
All right, keep quiet.
The meeting begins.

1124
01:03:03,544 --> 01:03:05,409
Fellow wretches...

1125
01:03:05,446 --> 01:03:08,074
I don't have to tell you

1126
01:03:08,116 --> 01:03:10,914
that poverty stalks
the streets of Paris.

1127
01:03:10,952 --> 01:03:12,419
- Yes.
- Yes.

1128
01:03:12,453 --> 01:03:16,253
Families don't even
have enough money for bread.

1129
01:03:16,290 --> 01:03:17,621
- No.
- No.

1130
01:03:17,659 --> 01:03:19,786
We are down to almost nothing.

1131
01:03:19,827 --> 01:03:23,422
Last week, I myself
ran out of wool.

1132
01:03:23,464 --> 01:03:24,726
[Ding]

1133
01:03:26,801 --> 01:03:29,031
We have no rights.

1134
01:03:29,070 --> 01:03:30,867
We have no say.

1135
01:03:30,905 --> 01:03:32,099
- No!
- No!

1136
01:03:32,140 --> 01:03:33,801
We have no dignity!

1137
01:03:33,841 --> 01:03:35,172
- No!
- No!

1138
01:03:35,209 --> 01:03:37,439
We are so poor,

1139
01:03:37,478 --> 01:03:40,447
we do not even have a language.

1140
01:03:40,481 --> 01:03:43,348
Just a stupid accent.

1141
01:03:43,384 --> 01:03:45,443
- She's right!
- She's right!

1142
01:03:45,486 --> 01:03:48,046
We all talk like
Maurice Chevalier.

1143
01:03:48,089 --> 01:03:49,386
Auh hauh hauh!

1144
01:03:49,424 --> 01:03:50,857
- Auh hauh hauh!
- Auh hauh hauh!

1145
01:03:50,892 --> 01:03:53,053
What we need...

1146
01:03:53,094 --> 01:03:55,562
is a new language...

1147
01:03:55,596 --> 01:03:58,895
A song that speaks
of struggle,

1148
01:03:58,933 --> 01:04:00,901
that speaks of triumph.

1149
01:04:00,935 --> 01:04:02,402
[Pop]

1150
01:04:02,437 --> 01:04:04,905
[Ssss]

1151
01:04:04,939 --> 01:04:06,907
It is time for action!

1152
01:04:06,941 --> 01:04:07,965
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes!

1153
01:04:08,009 --> 01:04:11,911
Everybody, stand!

1154
01:04:11,946 --> 01:04:13,573
Repeat after me...

1155
01:04:13,614 --> 01:04:17,812
[Cough cough cough spit]

1156
01:04:17,852 --> 01:04:21,788
[Cough cough cough spit]

1157
01:04:21,823 --> 01:04:25,919
No, no, no, dumb scum.

1158
01:04:25,960 --> 01:04:29,726
I mean, death to King Louis!

1159
01:04:29,764 --> 01:04:33,791
Death to King Louis!

1160
01:04:33,835 --> 01:04:35,632
Good! Good!

1161
01:04:37,305 --> 01:04:39,933
And now, let's end this meeting

1162
01:04:39,974 --> 01:04:41,942
on a high note.

1163
01:04:41,976 --> 01:04:48,905
[All sing a high note]

1164
01:04:53,454 --> 01:04:56,389
With this long trip and
this exhausting conversation,

1165
01:04:56,424 --> 01:04:58,551
I'm famished. Bearnaise...

1166
01:04:59,927 --> 01:05:01,724
Yes?

1167
01:05:01,763 --> 01:05:04,391
Do we have any of those...

1168
01:05:04,432 --> 01:05:06,764
delicious raisins left?

1169
01:05:06,801 --> 01:05:09,736
You ate yours.

1170
01:05:09,771 --> 01:05:11,898
These are mine.

1171
01:05:11,939 --> 01:05:13,566
Au contraire.

1172
01:05:13,608 --> 01:05:16,372
They are mine. I paidfor them.

1173
01:05:16,410 --> 01:05:18,435
Hand them over.

1174
01:05:20,281 --> 01:05:22,408
"Au contraire. I paidfor them.

1175
01:05:22,450 --> 01:05:24,111
"They are mine."

1176
01:05:25,453 --> 01:05:28,115
Don't be saucy
with me, Bearnaise.

1177
01:05:38,465 --> 01:05:40,433
- Food!
- Food!

1178
01:05:40,467 --> 01:05:42,128
Count de Money!

1179
01:05:43,470 --> 01:05:45,461
Count de Money!

1180
01:05:46,740 --> 01:05:48,867
Count de Money!

1181
01:05:48,909 --> 01:05:50,934
Count de Money!

1182
01:05:50,978 --> 01:05:53,037
Count de Money!

1183
01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:55,913
De Monet! De Monet!

1184
01:05:55,949 --> 01:05:58,281
- Count de Money!
- Count de Money!

1185
01:05:58,318 --> 01:05:59,979
Aah!

1186
01:06:00,020 --> 01:06:01,681
Aah!

1187
01:06:02,756 --> 01:06:06,920
Aaaaah!

1188
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:10,396
We should get rid
of your tailor.

1189
01:06:10,430 --> 01:06:12,398
I don't like your cuffs.

1190
01:06:12,432 --> 01:06:15,890
I don't like your cuffs,
I don't like your cuffs.

1191
01:06:15,936 --> 01:06:18,404
A man's cuffs should be even

1192
01:06:18,438 --> 01:06:20,906
with the tip of his pee-pee.

1193
01:06:20,941 --> 01:06:24,900
Yours are all the way down
to your balls.

1194
01:06:24,945 --> 01:06:27,413
At least I have them.

1195
01:06:27,447 --> 01:06:28,937
You bitch!

1196
01:06:31,451 --> 01:06:32,645
Lackey!

1197
01:06:32,686 --> 01:06:35,416
Count de Money.

1198
01:06:35,455 --> 01:06:37,423
De Monet.

1199
01:06:37,457 --> 01:06:39,425
Monet. Say it.

1200
01:06:39,459 --> 01:06:41,017
Mo-nay.

1201
01:06:41,061 --> 01:06:43,359
Mo-nay.

1202
01:06:43,397 --> 01:06:45,262
Perfect. Don'tforget it.

1203
01:06:45,298 --> 01:06:46,697
Say it again.

1204
01:06:46,733 --> 01:06:48,030
Monet.

1205
01:06:48,068 --> 01:06:49,535
Where's His Majesty?

1206
01:06:49,569 --> 01:06:51,002
Playing chess.

1207
01:06:51,038 --> 01:06:52,369
Chess?

1208
01:06:52,406 --> 01:06:54,397
I hate chess.

1209
01:06:56,410 --> 01:06:57,900
Th-th-th!

1210
01:07:01,581 --> 01:07:03,913
It's your move, Your Majesty.

1211
01:07:07,421 --> 01:07:10,413
I'm quite aware of that,
you petite putz.

1212
01:07:13,427 --> 01:07:14,917
I see.

1213
01:07:18,932 --> 01:07:22,424
Knight to rook 4!

1214
01:07:29,776 --> 01:07:31,744
Your move, Popinjay.

1215
01:07:31,778 --> 01:07:33,405
Yes, sire.

1216
01:07:33,447 --> 01:07:35,278
Oh...

1217
01:07:39,453 --> 01:07:42,422
Pawn threatens bishop!

1218
01:07:42,456 --> 01:07:44,924
What the hell did you say?

1219
01:07:44,958 --> 01:07:47,358
Pawn threatens bishop!

1220
01:07:47,394 --> 01:07:49,589
All right! I understood.

1221
01:07:49,629 --> 01:07:52,689
Pawn threatens bishop.
All right, Popinjay,

1222
01:07:52,733 --> 01:07:54,860
I'm invoking
the King's privilege.

1223
01:07:54,901 --> 01:07:56,994
Three moves to one.

1224
01:08:00,240 --> 01:08:02,037
Knight jumps Queen!

1225
01:08:03,076 --> 01:08:04,270
Whoops!

1226
01:08:04,311 --> 01:08:06,040
Bishop jumps Queen!

1227
01:08:06,079 --> 01:08:07,410
Ah!

1228
01:08:09,249 --> 01:08:12,446
Pawns jump Queen!

1229
01:08:12,486 --> 01:08:14,044
- Oh!
- Ah!

1230
01:08:14,087 --> 01:08:16,885
Gang bang!

1231
01:08:16,923 --> 01:08:19,915
Come on, let's all
jump the Queen.

1232
01:08:21,695 --> 01:08:25,096
Whip out those little dicks!
Here we go!

1233
01:08:33,440 --> 01:08:35,340
What a spectacle.

1234
01:08:35,375 --> 01:08:37,070
- Oh!
- Oh!

1235
01:08:37,110 --> 01:08:38,771
- Oh!
- Oh!

1236
01:08:38,812 --> 01:08:41,406
Isn't the Queen a good sport?

1237
01:08:41,448 --> 01:08:43,416
And he's such a fool.

1238
01:08:43,450 --> 01:08:46,351
Nevertheless, we must
do everything we can

1239
01:08:46,386 --> 01:08:49,844
to save the thing
that divine right and history

1240
01:08:49,890 --> 01:08:51,858
have placed on his head.

1241
01:08:51,892 --> 01:08:53,359
His wig?

1242
01:08:53,393 --> 01:08:55,361
No, you twit, his crown...

1243
01:08:55,395 --> 01:08:57,693
the symbol
of "might makes right,"

1244
01:08:57,731 --> 01:09:01,189
the thing ourfortunes
and titles are attached to,

1245
01:09:01,234 --> 01:09:02,428
the monarchy.

1246
01:09:02,469 --> 01:09:04,300
- Ah!
- Oh!

1247
01:09:04,337 --> 01:09:06,862
Will you speak to His Majesty?

1248
01:09:06,907 --> 01:09:09,876
Perhaps later. We've had
such a bouncy journey.

1249
01:09:09,910 --> 01:09:12,378
Where is the gar�on de piss?

1250
01:09:12,412 --> 01:09:15,108
There he is.

1251
01:09:17,417 --> 01:09:18,816
Merci, monsieur.

1252
01:09:18,852 --> 01:09:19,682
Piss boy!

1253
01:09:19,719 --> 01:09:21,914
Ah, oui, monsieur!

1254
01:09:23,824 --> 01:09:25,382
Oui, oui.

1255
01:09:25,425 --> 01:09:27,393
Yes, a lot of it.

1256
01:09:27,427 --> 01:09:29,088
S'il vous pla�t.

1257
01:09:34,434 --> 01:09:36,402
Keep searching.
You'llfind it.

1258
01:09:36,436 --> 01:09:39,428
Leave me alone.
I can handle this.

1259
01:09:40,774 --> 01:09:42,401
[Tinkling]

1260
01:09:42,442 --> 01:09:43,932
Ah!

1261
01:09:48,715 --> 01:09:52,742
You look familiar.
Who do you look like?

1262
01:09:52,786 --> 01:09:54,686
Je ne sais pas.

1263
01:09:56,356 --> 01:09:58,153
Who is that girl?

1264
01:09:58,191 --> 01:10:00,659
She's gorgeous.

1265
01:10:06,066 --> 01:10:07,863
Pardon, pardon, pardon.

1266
01:10:07,901 --> 01:10:09,368
Yes?

1267
01:10:09,402 --> 01:10:11,870
You are pissing on my shoe.

1268
01:10:11,905 --> 01:10:13,873
Sorry. Mind your pail!

1269
01:10:13,907 --> 01:10:15,397
Sorry.

1270
01:10:17,911 --> 01:10:19,879
[Tinkling stops]

1271
01:10:19,913 --> 01:10:21,881
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

1272
01:10:21,915 --> 01:10:24,543
Waitfor the shake.

1273
01:10:24,584 --> 01:10:25,915
[Tinkle]

1274
01:10:28,088 --> 01:10:29,646
There, there.

1275
01:10:29,689 --> 01:10:31,884
That's for you.

1276
01:10:31,925 --> 01:10:33,893
Piss off.

1277
01:10:33,927 --> 01:10:36,418
Thank you. I'll get it later.

1278
01:10:39,766 --> 01:10:41,666
Oh, that's better.

1279
01:10:41,701 --> 01:10:43,566
Let the Queen up!

1280
01:10:43,603 --> 01:10:46,401
She's been so good to all of us!

1281
01:10:47,874 --> 01:10:49,967
Ooh!

1282
01:10:50,010 --> 01:10:51,841
Ooh!

1283
01:10:51,878 --> 01:10:54,369
There's a naughty bit
of crumpet!

1284
01:10:58,718 --> 01:11:00,379
Mmm!

1285
01:11:02,389 --> 01:11:03,515
Oh!

1286
01:11:03,556 --> 01:11:04,853
Your Majesty.

1287
01:11:04,891 --> 01:11:06,882
How's it going, Marie?

1288
01:11:11,898 --> 01:11:14,389
It's good to be the King.

1289
01:11:16,236 --> 01:11:17,897
Ah!

1290
01:11:19,406 --> 01:11:21,397
Hmmm.

1291
01:11:25,912 --> 01:11:28,380
[Sniff]

1292
01:11:28,415 --> 01:11:29,905
[Sniff]

1293
01:11:32,419 --> 01:11:34,887
Everything's so green.

1294
01:11:34,921 --> 01:11:37,890
Majesty, may I have
a word with you?

1295
01:11:37,924 --> 01:11:39,949
Ooh! Care for a toot?

1296
01:11:39,993 --> 01:11:41,392
Non. Merci.

1297
01:11:41,428 --> 01:11:44,397
Don't indulge? Well,
that leaves more for us.

1298
01:11:44,431 --> 01:11:45,989
Who are you?

1299
01:11:46,032 --> 01:11:49,832
Your Majesty, I am
Mademoiselle Rimbaud.

1300
01:11:49,869 --> 01:11:52,337
Mmm. Nice names.

1301
01:11:52,372 --> 01:11:55,830
Tell me, my dear,
what can I do for you?

1302
01:11:55,875 --> 01:11:57,843
My father, Monsieur Rimbaud,

1303
01:11:57,877 --> 01:12:00,846
for 10 years has languished
in the Bastille.

1304
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:04,338
If I don't get him out soon,
he will surely die.

1305
01:12:04,384 --> 01:12:07,911
I throw myself on your mercy.
Please release him.

1306
01:12:07,954 --> 01:12:10,855
Why was he put
into the Bastille?

1307
01:12:10,890 --> 01:12:13,859
He said something
at a royal dinner party.

1308
01:12:13,893 --> 01:12:15,861
What did he say?

1309
01:12:15,895 --> 01:12:18,864
He said,
"the poor ain't so bad."

1310
01:12:18,898 --> 01:12:20,866
"The poor ain't so bad"!

1311
01:12:20,900 --> 01:12:23,095
You're lucky he's still alive.

1312
01:12:23,136 --> 01:12:26,037
Please, Your Majesty,
don't let him die.

1313
01:12:26,072 --> 01:12:29,041
I'll do anything to gain
his pardon. Anything.

1314
01:12:29,075 --> 01:12:30,872
Anything?

1315
01:12:30,910 --> 01:12:33,879
Your Majesty!
I was raised in a convent.

1316
01:12:33,913 --> 01:12:37,474
I don't indulge
in pleasures of the flesh.

1317
01:12:37,517 --> 01:12:41,317
You don't put out,
he don't get out.

1318
01:12:41,354 --> 01:12:44,448
But Your Majesty,
I simply don't do it.

1319
01:12:44,491 --> 01:12:48,393
Come on. You do it.
You know you do it.

1320
01:12:48,428 --> 01:12:51,397
We love to do it. You do it.

1321
01:12:51,431 --> 01:12:52,898
No, I don't.

1322
01:12:52,932 --> 01:12:54,422
You want to do it.

1323
01:12:54,467 --> 01:12:58,233
I do it. I love to do it.

1324
01:12:58,271 --> 01:13:01,934
I just did it, and I'm ready
to do it again.

1325
01:13:01,975 --> 01:13:04,910
Don't tell me
you don't do it.

1326
01:13:04,944 --> 01:13:08,937
You do it, or yourfather dies.
Hump or death.

1327
01:13:08,982 --> 01:13:10,415
Humperdinck?

1328
01:13:10,450 --> 01:13:12,918
Not Humperdinck.
Hump or death.

1329
01:13:12,952 --> 01:13:14,920
You got 10 seconds

1330
01:13:14,954 --> 01:13:16,922
to make up your mind.

1331
01:13:16,956 --> 01:13:19,254
Hump, death. Hump, death.

1332
01:13:19,292 --> 01:13:20,884
Hump, death.

1333
01:13:20,927 --> 01:13:23,521
Your time is running out!

1334
01:13:23,563 --> 01:13:25,929
All right, all right!
Hump! Oh!

1335
01:13:25,965 --> 01:13:28,934
Very good. I'm glad
you thought it over.

1336
01:13:28,968 --> 01:13:31,596
Be at my chambers at midnight.

1337
01:13:31,638 --> 01:13:33,435
A tout � I'heure.

1338
01:13:33,473 --> 01:13:35,338
Wait.

1339
01:13:35,375 --> 01:13:38,435
Don't wear anything...

1340
01:13:38,478 --> 01:13:40,469
complicated.

1341
01:13:48,421 --> 01:13:50,389
Ah.

1342
01:13:50,423 --> 01:13:51,913
Ohh.

1343
01:13:52,926 --> 01:13:55,417
It's good to be the King.

1344
01:14:00,433 --> 01:14:03,402
Your Majesty, I must
speak to you. Aah!

1345
01:14:03,436 --> 01:14:05,404
Ah, the Count de Money.

1346
01:14:05,438 --> 01:14:06,564
De...

1347
01:14:06,606 --> 01:14:09,074
Don't correct me.
What is it?

1348
01:14:09,109 --> 01:14:11,202
Of course, Your Majesty.

1349
01:14:11,244 --> 01:14:13,405
I've come on urgent business.

1350
01:14:13,446 --> 01:14:16,415
It is said that
the people are revolting.

1351
01:14:16,449 --> 01:14:18,417
Yeah. They stink on ice.

1352
01:14:18,451 --> 01:14:20,419
This is a serious problem.

1353
01:14:20,453 --> 01:14:23,911
The peasants feel
you have no regardfor them.

1354
01:14:23,957 --> 01:14:26,926
What? I have no regard
for the peasants?

1355
01:14:26,960 --> 01:14:29,929
They are my people.
I am their sovereign.

1356
01:14:29,963 --> 01:14:32,227
I love them. Pull!

1357
01:14:32,265 --> 01:14:33,425
[Gunshot]

1358
01:14:33,466 --> 01:14:35,491
Aaaah!

1359
01:14:35,535 --> 01:14:37,435
Drifting to the left.

1360
01:14:37,470 --> 01:14:39,938
Your Majesty,
the situation is worsening.

1361
01:14:39,973 --> 01:14:42,441
The peasants may grow violent.

1362
01:14:42,475 --> 01:14:43,942
Violent?

1363
01:14:43,977 --> 01:14:45,444
Yes.

1364
01:14:45,478 --> 01:14:46,877
I hate violence.

1365
01:14:46,913 --> 01:14:49,882
It's the one thing
I detest. Violence.

1366
01:14:49,916 --> 01:14:52,441
I abhor it. Pull!

1367
01:14:52,485 --> 01:14:53,452
[Gunshot]

1368
01:14:53,486 --> 01:14:54,453
Aaah!

1369
01:14:54,487 --> 01:14:56,546
Fell like a stone.

1370
01:14:56,589 --> 01:14:59,057
But Your Majesty,

1371
01:14:59,092 --> 01:15:01,424
just in case
of the remote possibility

1372
01:15:01,461 --> 01:15:03,554
of a temporary revolution,

1373
01:15:03,596 --> 01:15:08,397
wouldn't it be wise to have you
safely spirited out of Paris?

1374
01:15:08,434 --> 01:15:09,901
Perhaps you're right.

1375
01:15:09,936 --> 01:15:12,905
But who would sit
on my throne?

1376
01:15:12,939 --> 01:15:14,907
We'llfind a double.

1377
01:15:14,941 --> 01:15:18,900
Ah. A double in case of trouble.
I like it.

1378
01:15:18,945 --> 01:15:20,776
Ha ha ha!

1379
01:15:20,813 --> 01:15:25,409
But where would youfind
a handsome dog to replace me?

1380
01:15:25,451 --> 01:15:29,012
Oh, yes. Of course, of course.
That's it!

1381
01:15:29,055 --> 01:15:32,422
Your Majesty,
you look like the piss boy.

1382
01:15:32,458 --> 01:15:35,916
And you look like
a bucket of shit!

1383
01:15:35,962 --> 01:15:38,430
You don't understand,
Your Majesty.

1384
01:15:38,464 --> 01:15:40,432
It is God's will, sire.

1385
01:15:40,466 --> 01:15:43,435
Exceptfor the beauty mark
and the mustache.

1386
01:15:43,469 --> 01:15:44,936
There's our double.

1387
01:15:44,971 --> 01:15:48,372
You're right.
I do look like the piss boy.

1388
01:15:48,408 --> 01:15:50,876
At the first sign of trouble,

1389
01:15:50,910 --> 01:15:53,208
he shall be King. Go.

1390
01:15:53,246 --> 01:15:54,713
Immediately, sire.

1391
01:15:54,747 --> 01:15:57,875
Gar�on, I must have
a word with you.

1392
01:15:57,917 --> 01:15:59,384
I'm notfinished.

1393
01:15:59,419 --> 01:16:01,387
You're finished.
Come with me.

1394
01:16:01,421 --> 01:16:02,547
You're finished.

1395
01:16:02,589 --> 01:16:03,556
Ooh!

1396
01:16:03,590 --> 01:16:05,080
Lackey.

1397
01:16:07,927 --> 01:16:09,588
Your Majesty.

1398
01:16:13,433 --> 01:16:15,094
Ohh!

1399
01:16:17,604 --> 01:16:19,936
It's good to be the King.

1400
01:16:21,441 --> 01:16:23,409
Good. Now the beauty mark.

1401
01:16:23,443 --> 01:16:24,933
It's coming.

1402
01:16:28,448 --> 01:16:31,246
Na na na!

1403
01:16:31,284 --> 01:16:33,912
Wonderful. No one
would ever suspect

1404
01:16:33,953 --> 01:16:38,413
that His Royal Highness
is really the lowly piss boy.

1405
01:16:38,458 --> 01:16:41,052
Ha ha ha!

1406
01:16:41,094 --> 01:16:43,619
This is never going to work.

1407
01:16:43,663 --> 01:16:45,631
Please, Count de Money...

1408
01:16:45,665 --> 01:16:47,064
De Monet.

1409
01:16:47,100 --> 01:16:49,568
De Monet, Dubonnet, see Bonet.

1410
01:16:49,602 --> 01:16:53,402
It won't work.
I can't behave like a King!

1411
01:16:53,439 --> 01:16:57,569
Please. See? See? I can't
even walk like a King.

1412
01:16:57,610 --> 01:17:01,239
I can't walk in heels.
He's good in heels.

1413
01:17:01,281 --> 01:17:04,250
Why are you doing this to me?

1414
01:17:04,284 --> 01:17:08,243
Why are you dressing me up
like the King?

1415
01:17:08,288 --> 01:17:10,256
It's very simple, really.

1416
01:17:10,290 --> 01:17:12,258
Is my hair all right?

1417
01:17:12,292 --> 01:17:13,759
Dreadful.

1418
01:17:13,793 --> 01:17:16,463
Well, fix it.

1419
01:17:16,596 --> 01:17:19,087
Recently, there has been a rumor

1420
01:17:19,132 --> 01:17:20,599
about a revolution,

1421
01:17:20,633 --> 01:17:23,101
and if this revolution
should succeed,

1422
01:17:23,136 --> 01:17:26,105
the people will
cut off the King's head.

1423
01:17:26,139 --> 01:17:29,597
But if there is
a double on the throne,

1424
01:17:29,642 --> 01:17:31,610
the King can remain safe

1425
01:17:31,644 --> 01:17:34,613
while they cut off
the double's head.

1426
01:17:34,647 --> 01:17:37,775
I get it. Whoa! I get it!

1427
01:17:37,817 --> 01:17:39,284
[Knock knock knock]

1428
01:17:39,319 --> 01:17:41,412
They're here to kill me!

1429
01:17:41,454 --> 01:17:44,150
Hide. I'll see who it is.

1430
01:17:50,096 --> 01:17:52,064
All right, take me!

1431
01:17:52,098 --> 01:17:54,066
Ravage me, Your Majesty!

1432
01:17:54,100 --> 01:17:56,091
A bargain is a bargain!

1433
01:17:57,103 --> 01:17:58,570
All right.

1434
01:17:58,605 --> 01:18:00,573
Wait! You're not the King.

1435
01:18:00,607 --> 01:18:04,065
True. I am the Count de Money.
De Monet.

1436
01:18:04,110 --> 01:18:06,578
The King is
temporarily indisposed.

1437
01:18:06,613 --> 01:18:10,071
You've come to the right place.

1438
01:18:10,116 --> 01:18:11,606
Please.

1439
01:18:16,789 --> 01:18:18,757
You seem troubled, my dear.

1440
01:18:18,791 --> 01:18:21,259
Let me help you.

1441
01:18:21,294 --> 01:18:22,921
Whah.

1442
01:18:22,962 --> 01:18:26,090
I don't see how you can.

1443
01:18:26,132 --> 01:18:28,032
Why not?

1444
01:18:28,067 --> 01:18:30,592
I've decided to
trade my virginity

1445
01:18:30,637 --> 01:18:32,605
for my father's freedom

1446
01:18:32,639 --> 01:18:35,608
and submit to
the King's lustful wants.

1447
01:18:35,642 --> 01:18:37,610
Uh suh luh...

1448
01:18:37,644 --> 01:18:38,611
[Clink]

1449
01:18:38,645 --> 01:18:40,135
Ohh.

1450
01:18:42,148 --> 01:18:43,706
Chipped.

1451
01:18:44,784 --> 01:18:48,584
This is the saddest night
of my life.

1452
01:18:50,156 --> 01:18:53,125
And the happiest night of mine.

1453
01:18:53,159 --> 01:18:54,353
[Sobbing]

1454
01:18:54,394 --> 01:18:55,884
Excuse me.

1455
01:18:55,929 --> 01:18:58,056
Whooaa!

1456
01:18:58,097 --> 01:18:59,564
Whoa!

1457
01:18:59,599 --> 01:19:01,396
[Branches breaking]

1458
01:19:01,434 --> 01:19:03,595
Count?

1459
01:19:04,971 --> 01:19:07,565
Count de Money!
Count de Money!

1460
01:19:07,607 --> 01:19:10,075
[Weakly] De Monet. De Monet.

1461
01:19:10,109 --> 01:19:13,078
Excuse me.
Did you see the Count?

1462
01:19:13,112 --> 01:19:15,580
He was here a moment ago.

1463
01:19:15,615 --> 01:19:17,242
Oh! All right!

1464
01:19:17,283 --> 01:19:19,581
Your Majesty,
please ravage me!

1465
01:19:19,619 --> 01:19:21,587
Gee, I just ate.

1466
01:19:21,621 --> 01:19:24,590
Oh, take me,
Your Majesty! Take me!

1467
01:19:24,624 --> 01:19:26,091
Where?

1468
01:19:26,125 --> 01:19:28,093
Defile me! Humiliate me!

1469
01:19:28,127 --> 01:19:31,096
Only do it!
Hump, hump, hump!

1470
01:19:31,130 --> 01:19:32,597
[Whistles]

1471
01:19:32,632 --> 01:19:35,100
It's good to be the King.

1472
01:19:35,134 --> 01:19:39,594
Look, why don't we go out
to dinner, have some wine,

1473
01:19:39,639 --> 01:19:41,607
see a few nude paintings...

1474
01:19:41,641 --> 01:19:44,371
Get in the mood, you know?

1475
01:19:44,410 --> 01:19:45,775
I don't understand.

1476
01:19:45,812 --> 01:19:50,044
You said if I let you
have your way with me,

1477
01:19:50,083 --> 01:19:53,143
you'd let my father
out of the dungeon.

1478
01:19:53,186 --> 01:19:55,279
Ah! That's what I said!

1479
01:19:55,321 --> 01:19:57,551
For all intents and purposes,

1480
01:19:57,590 --> 01:19:59,558
I'm the King, right?

1481
01:19:59,592 --> 01:20:02,561
There must be a pardon
in my desk.

1482
01:20:02,595 --> 01:20:05,564
We'll get your daddy
out of jail.

1483
01:20:05,598 --> 01:20:07,566
Let's look through the desk.

1484
01:20:07,600 --> 01:20:11,058
Must be thousands of pardons
in the King's desk.

1485
01:20:11,104 --> 01:20:13,072
Here we go. OK.

1486
01:20:13,106 --> 01:20:16,303
Execution, execution,
execution, execution.

1487
01:20:16,342 --> 01:20:17,570
Execution, ex...

1488
01:20:17,610 --> 01:20:19,578
Tough guy.

1489
01:20:19,612 --> 01:20:22,080
Must be a pardon somewhere.

1490
01:20:22,115 --> 01:20:23,582
Let's see.

1491
01:20:23,616 --> 01:20:26,585
Ah, one. One left.

1492
01:20:26,619 --> 01:20:28,280
We're lucky. Yes.

1493
01:20:29,555 --> 01:20:31,580
Let's see. Yourfather's name?

1494
01:20:31,624 --> 01:20:33,057
Rimbaud.

1495
01:20:33,092 --> 01:20:36,084
Rrrimbaud. How do you spell Rrr?
Never mind.

1496
01:20:36,129 --> 01:20:38,097
Rimbaud. Is that French?

1497
01:20:38,131 --> 01:20:39,598
Oui.

1498
01:20:39,632 --> 01:20:41,600
All right. Here we go.

1499
01:20:41,634 --> 01:20:45,593
July 14, 1789.
Signed by Louis... let's see.

1500
01:20:45,638 --> 01:20:47,538
Quatorze, quinze...
sixteen, sixteen.

1501
01:20:47,573 --> 01:20:50,542
How do you say sixteen
in French?

1502
01:20:50,576 --> 01:20:52,043
Seize.

1503
01:20:52,078 --> 01:20:55,275
Seize you. Good.

1504
01:20:57,050 --> 01:20:59,041
OK. Roll this up.

1505
01:20:59,085 --> 01:21:03,545
Now, you give this
to the head officer at the jail,

1506
01:21:03,589 --> 01:21:06,558
and he will
set yourfatherfree.

1507
01:21:06,592 --> 01:21:08,253
Oh, Majesty.

1508
01:21:09,762 --> 01:21:11,229
[Tweet tweet]

1509
01:21:11,264 --> 01:21:13,232
Tweet tweet tweet
tweet tweet.

1510
01:21:13,266 --> 01:21:14,733
Hello?

1511
01:21:14,767 --> 01:21:17,736
No songfor me
today, Pierre? Eh?

1512
01:21:17,770 --> 01:21:19,738
What's the matter with you?

1513
01:21:19,772 --> 01:21:21,740
Cat got your tongue?

1514
01:21:21,774 --> 01:21:23,742
Rowr!

1515
01:21:23,776 --> 01:21:25,243
I was right.

1516
01:21:25,278 --> 01:21:28,736
It got his tongue, eyes,
and beak... the lot.

1517
01:21:28,781 --> 01:21:30,408
Oh, dearie me.

1518
01:21:30,450 --> 01:21:33,578
Not so lucky, Pierre.

1519
01:21:33,619 --> 01:21:37,578
Oh, you naughty pussy.

1520
01:21:37,623 --> 01:21:39,591
Naughty, naughty pussy.

1521
01:21:39,625 --> 01:21:44,085
And now to invent the catapult.

1522
01:21:44,130 --> 01:21:46,030
Rowr!

1523
01:21:46,065 --> 01:21:48,192
Yreow!

1524
01:21:48,234 --> 01:21:49,724
He's in there.

1525
01:21:53,206 --> 01:21:55,140
Father!

1526
01:21:55,174 --> 01:21:56,141
Aah!

1527
01:21:56,175 --> 01:21:59,167
Oh, my darlingfather,
I have good news!

1528
01:21:59,212 --> 01:22:01,043
You're free!

1529
01:22:01,080 --> 01:22:03,048
Rowr! Free!

1530
01:22:03,082 --> 01:22:06,051
Did you hear that,
my little wingedfriends?

1531
01:22:06,085 --> 01:22:07,552
Free, free!

1532
01:22:07,587 --> 01:22:12,718
And so they shall be free, too!

1533
01:22:12,759 --> 01:22:14,090
Too!

1534
01:22:17,096 --> 01:22:20,554
Fly, my pretty one! Fly!

1535
01:22:20,600 --> 01:22:22,568
Whee!

1536
01:22:22,602 --> 01:22:25,196
The sky's your playground!

1537
01:22:25,238 --> 01:22:26,728
Happy landings!

1538
01:22:26,773 --> 01:22:28,400
Mother. Mrs. Schultz.

1539
01:22:28,441 --> 01:22:29,999
Hurry, Father,

1540
01:22:30,042 --> 01:22:33,068
before the King
changes his mind.

1541
01:22:33,112 --> 01:22:34,579
[Explosion]

1542
01:22:34,614 --> 01:22:36,741
What a racket! I can't sleep.

1543
01:22:36,783 --> 01:22:38,410
Guns, fireworks!

1544
01:22:39,619 --> 01:22:42,383
Quick, your Majesty!
It's a revolution!

1545
01:22:42,421 --> 01:22:44,582
You've got to escape!

1546
01:22:44,624 --> 01:22:46,592
They're storming the palace!

1547
01:22:46,626 --> 01:22:49,094
So that's the noise!
The revolution!

1548
01:22:49,128 --> 01:22:51,096
I'm free! I'm free!

1549
01:22:51,130 --> 01:22:53,598
My father, the man you pardoned.

1550
01:22:53,633 --> 01:22:57,091
I thought I'd never live
to see the day

1551
01:22:57,136 --> 01:22:59,104
when I was once again...

1552
01:22:59,138 --> 01:23:00,605
Yes, yes.

1553
01:23:00,640 --> 01:23:03,609
[Snoring]

1554
01:23:03,643 --> 01:23:05,167
Dad!

1555
01:23:05,211 --> 01:23:06,610
Aaah!

1556
01:23:06,646 --> 01:23:10,207
Whatfool put a carpet
on the wall?

1557
01:23:10,249 --> 01:23:11,773
Hurry up!

1558
01:23:11,818 --> 01:23:15,447
You're not as tall
as you used to be.

1559
01:23:15,488 --> 01:23:16,819
Quick! Hurry!

1560
01:23:20,660 --> 01:23:23,128
What the...
Who designed this place?

1561
01:23:23,162 --> 01:23:24,561
[Crowd yelling]

1562
01:23:29,235 --> 01:23:31,795
That way! That way!

1563
01:23:31,838 --> 01:23:33,465
There he is!

1564
01:23:33,506 --> 01:23:36,634
Wait! Wait! You're making
a big mistake!

1565
01:23:36,676 --> 01:23:39,645
In the name of the people
of France...

1566
01:23:39,679 --> 01:23:40,805
Frawnce.

1567
01:23:40,847 --> 01:23:43,372
Frawnce. We place you,
King Louis,

1568
01:23:43,416 --> 01:23:44,815
under arrest.

1569
01:23:44,851 --> 01:23:48,685
But... dot dot dot...
you don't understand.

1570
01:23:48,721 --> 01:23:50,245
Take him away.

1571
01:23:50,289 --> 01:23:52,382
Take them all away!

1572
01:23:52,425 --> 01:23:54,950
No! Wait! I'm with you!

1573
01:23:54,994 --> 01:23:56,586
Whee!

1574
01:23:56,629 --> 01:23:58,290
Whee!

1575
01:24:00,533 --> 01:24:02,626
[Yelling]

1576
01:24:18,251 --> 01:24:20,276
Courage, my dear.

1577
01:24:20,319 --> 01:24:23,288
Watch me and take heart
by my example.

1578
01:24:23,322 --> 01:24:26,553
I may not have been born a King

1579
01:24:26,592 --> 01:24:29,117
or lived like a King,

1580
01:24:29,161 --> 01:24:32,130
but I can die like a King.

1581
01:24:32,164 --> 01:24:34,132
Your Majesty, you're next.

1582
01:24:34,166 --> 01:24:36,964
Do you require a blindfold?

1583
01:24:37,003 --> 01:24:38,470
None.

1584
01:24:38,504 --> 01:24:40,472
Have you any last words?

1585
01:24:40,506 --> 01:24:41,973
None.

1586
01:24:42,008 --> 01:24:43,532
Test the guillotine.

1587
01:24:43,576 --> 01:24:44,873
[Crowd roars]

1588
01:24:46,112 --> 01:24:49,172
Holy shit! Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!

1589
01:24:49,215 --> 01:24:51,240
Last request. Last request.

1590
01:24:51,284 --> 01:24:53,252
What is your last request?

1591
01:24:53,286 --> 01:24:54,617
Novocain.

1592
01:24:57,123 --> 01:25:01,260
There is no such thing
known to medical science.

1593
01:25:02,261 --> 01:25:04,388
I'll wait.

1594
01:25:04,429 --> 01:25:05,418
Seize him!

1595
01:25:05,464 --> 01:25:07,989
Off with his head!

1596
01:25:08,033 --> 01:25:11,093
Please, listen to me.
I'm not the King!

1597
01:25:11,136 --> 01:25:12,933
- Bullshit!
- Bullshit!

1598
01:25:12,971 --> 01:25:15,462
It's a very hard crowd.

1599
01:25:15,507 --> 01:25:17,202
Seize him!

1600
01:25:17,242 --> 01:25:19,210
Wait! Give me a break!

1601
01:25:19,244 --> 01:25:22,338
I don't want to die!
Don't hurt me!

1602
01:25:35,227 --> 01:25:37,627
Only a miracle can save him!

1603
01:25:37,663 --> 01:25:38,994
Neigh!

1604
01:25:41,199 --> 01:25:42,666
It's Miracle!

1605
01:25:45,404 --> 01:25:47,429
I don't believe it!
Josephus!

1606
01:25:47,472 --> 01:25:49,064
Whoa!

1607
01:25:49,107 --> 01:25:52,702
Hey, baby! Get down. Get down.

1608
01:25:52,744 --> 01:25:55,372
Jump. Get down.

1609
01:25:55,414 --> 01:25:56,938
Come on.

1610
01:26:04,956 --> 01:26:09,586
How'd you get all the way here
from the Roman Empire?

1611
01:26:09,628 --> 01:26:11,596
Don't be square, mon cher.

1612
01:26:11,630 --> 01:26:13,120
Movies is magic!

1613
01:26:17,469 --> 01:26:21,098
Uh-oh. We had better kiss soon!

1614
01:26:21,139 --> 01:26:22,606
Why?

1615
01:26:22,641 --> 01:26:24,609
We're coming to the end.

1616
01:26:24,643 --> 01:26:26,110
See?

1617
01:26:26,144 --> 01:26:27,771
Oh, my darling.

1618
01:26:27,813 --> 01:26:29,144
[Smack]

1619
01:26:30,148 --> 01:26:31,809
Oh, my love.

1620
01:26:35,654 --> 01:26:37,815
This is a big ending.

1621
01:26:51,169 --> 01:26:53,603
Wait! Where are you going?

1622
01:27:02,414 --> 01:27:04,609
[Waltz playing]

1623
01:27:20,465 --> 01:27:23,093
SING: Ohh ohh ohh

1624
01:27:23,135 --> 01:27:30,598
Ohh ohh ohh

1625
01:27:30,642 --> 01:27:34,601
Ohh ohh ohh

1626
01:27:34,646 --> 01:27:38,309
Ohh

1627
01:27:48,260 --> 01:27:52,560
We're Jews out in space

1628
01:27:52,597 --> 01:27:55,896
We're zooming along,
protecting the Hebrew race

1629
01:27:55,934 --> 01:28:00,564
We're Jews out in space

1630
01:28:00,605 --> 01:28:01,731
If trouble appears

1631
01:28:01,773 --> 01:28:04,640
We'll put it
right back in its place

1632
01:28:04,676 --> 01:28:08,077
When Goyim attack us

1633
01:28:08,113 --> 01:28:09,580
We'll give 'em a smack

1634
01:28:09,614 --> 01:28:11,707
We'll slap 'em
right back in the face

1635
01:28:28,033 --> 01:28:31,935
We're Jews out in space

1636
01:28:31,970 --> 01:28:33,597
We're zooming along

1637
01:28:33,638 --> 01:28:39,406
Protecting the Hebrew race