1
00:00:00,318 --> 00:00:02,855
[♪ Marvel Studios fanfare
playing]
2
00:00:22,607 --> 00:00:24,642
[Deadpool scatting along]
♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪
3
00:00:24,675 --> 00:00:27,179
♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪
4
00:00:27,212 --> 00:00:29,014
♪ Tan tan ta ♪
5
00:00:29,047 --> 00:00:30,381
♪ Tan tan tan tan ♪
6
00:00:30,414 --> 00:00:31,784
♪ Tan tan ta tan ♪
7
00:00:31,817 --> 00:00:33,384
-♪ Tan tan tan tan! ♪
-[♪ fanfare concludes]
8
00:00:33,417 --> 00:00:36,687
[laughs] That logo music
just gets you pumped.
9
00:00:36,721 --> 00:00:38,322
-[♪ gentle music playing]
-Right?
10
00:00:38,356 --> 00:00:41,425
I'm sorry. I just,
I'm excited to be here.
It's been a while.
11
00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:42,593
You know, for a long time,
12
00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:44,428
I wasn't sure
I'd ever be back.
13
00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:45,596
Disney bought Fox,
14
00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:47,298
there was a whole
boring rights issue,
15
00:00:47,331 --> 00:00:48,466
blabbity-blabbity-blah.
16
00:00:48,499 --> 00:00:51,402
But then, it turned out,
they wanted me.
17
00:00:51,435 --> 00:00:54,072
The one guy who shouldn't
even have his own movie,
18
00:00:54,106 --> 00:00:55,606
much less a franchise.
19
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,877
[laughs] Marvel's so stupid.
20
00:00:58,911 --> 00:01:00,813
Look, we know the title
of this thing.
21
00:01:00,846 --> 00:01:02,613
So, I know
what you're wondering.
22
00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:03,782
How are we gonna do this
23
00:01:03,816 --> 00:01:07,186
without dishonoring
Logan's memory?
24
00:01:07,219 --> 00:01:08,586
And I'll tell you how.
25
00:01:09,353 --> 00:01:10,588
We're not.
26
00:01:10,621 --> 00:01:12,323
[♪ romantic music plays,
The Platters "Only You"]
27
00:01:12,356 --> 00:01:14,458
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.
28
00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:16,795
Wolverine is not dead.
29
00:01:16,829 --> 00:01:20,065
Sure, it made for a perfect
ending to a very sad story.
30
00:01:20,098 --> 00:01:21,166
But that's not how
31
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,401
regenerative healing
factors work.
32
00:01:23,434 --> 00:01:24,669
You think
I wanna be out here
33
00:01:24,702 --> 00:01:26,805
in beautiful downtown
North Dakota,
34
00:01:26,839 --> 00:01:30,042
digging up the one and only
Wolverine? No, thank you.
35
00:01:30,075 --> 00:01:32,643
But the fate of
my entire world is at stake.
36
00:01:32,677 --> 00:01:34,146
He may not
be living his best life,
37
00:01:34,179 --> 00:01:36,480
but he sure as hell ain't
38
00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:38,116
-dead.
-[metal clanks]
39
00:01:41,019 --> 00:01:42,520
[crow cawing in distance]
40
00:01:43,055 --> 00:01:44,056
Bingo.
41
00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:45,891
Yahtzee.
42
00:01:47,192 --> 00:01:48,392
[sighs]
43
00:01:49,127 --> 00:01:52,030
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
44
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:56,701
Damn it!
45
00:01:57,568 --> 00:02:00,471
-Son of a bitch!
-[metal clangs]
46
00:02:02,107 --> 00:02:03,608
You...
47
00:02:03,641 --> 00:02:05,509
-[shovel snaps]
-[yelling]
48
00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:08,847
Christ. Motherfucker!
49
00:02:08,881 --> 00:02:10,514
-My world is fuck...
-[♪ song stops]
50
00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:13,451
[laughs, snorts]
That was weird.
51
00:02:13,484 --> 00:02:14,719
I'm much calmer now.
52
00:02:14,753 --> 00:02:16,221
[♪ The Platter "Only You"
resumes playing]
53
00:02:16,255 --> 00:02:19,157
Look, I'm not a man
of science.
54
00:02:19,191 --> 00:02:22,194
But you seem
incredibly passed away.
55
00:02:22,227 --> 00:02:23,728
[flies buzzing]
56
00:02:24,363 --> 00:02:25,496
[sighs]
57
00:02:25,529 --> 00:02:27,065
But it's good to see ya.
58
00:02:27,099 --> 00:02:30,335
I gotta be honest,
I've always wanted
to ride with you, Log.
59
00:02:30,369 --> 00:02:31,669
You and me getting into it.
60
00:02:31,702 --> 00:02:35,439
Deadpool and Wolverine
just fuckin' shit up.
61
00:02:35,473 --> 00:02:38,442
Can you imagine the fun,
the chaos...
62
00:02:38,944 --> 00:02:39,945
the residuals?
63
00:02:40,879 --> 00:02:42,147
[in Australian accent]
"G'day, mate.
64
00:02:42,180 --> 00:02:44,116
"There's nothing that'll
bring me back to life faster
65
00:02:44,149 --> 00:02:46,952
"than a big bag
of Marvel cash."
66
00:02:46,985 --> 00:02:49,553
[chuckles, in normal tone]
Me too, Hugh.
67
00:02:50,155 --> 00:02:53,091
But, no. No, no, no.
68
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:56,995
[groans] You had to get
all noble and die for real.
69
00:02:57,029 --> 00:02:58,797
Goddamn it!
70
00:03:00,365 --> 00:03:02,633
I could really use
your help right now.
71
00:03:03,402 --> 00:03:04,937
[electrical whirring]
72
00:03:10,075 --> 00:03:12,077
[♪ tense music playing]
73
00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:14,645
Wait!
74
00:03:15,579 --> 00:03:17,382
I'm warning you,
I'm not alone.
75
00:03:17,416 --> 00:03:19,617
Wade Winston Wilson,
76
00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:22,120
you are under arrest by
the Time Variance Authority...
77
00:03:22,154 --> 00:03:23,188
[Deadpool sniffs] Oof.
78
00:03:23,221 --> 00:03:24,522
...for too many crimes
to list.
79
00:03:24,555 --> 00:03:25,757
-Come out...
-[Deadpool groans]
80
00:03:25,791 --> 00:03:27,059
...and we'll extend you
the courtesy
81
00:03:27,092 --> 00:03:29,328
-of taking you in one piece.
-Death by day-player.
82
00:03:29,361 --> 00:03:30,594
Last chance.
83
00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:31,863
Throw out your weapons
84
00:03:31,897 --> 00:03:33,865
-and come out peacefully.
-[Deadpool sighs]
85
00:03:33,899 --> 00:03:35,767
[Deadpool] I'm not gonna
give you my weapons,
86
00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:38,937
but I promise not to use them.
87
00:03:38,971 --> 00:03:41,773
There are two hundred and six
bones in the human body.
88
00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:43,942
Two hundred and seven
if I'm watching Gossip Girl.
89
00:03:43,976 --> 00:03:45,243
[♪ pop music playing,
*NSYNC "Bye Bye Bye"]
90
00:03:45,277 --> 00:03:47,079
-Here we go. Maximum effort.
-♪ Hey, hey ♪
91
00:03:47,112 --> 00:03:48,180
[♪ song stops]
92
00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:54,319
-♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪
-♪ Bye, bye ♪
93
00:03:54,353 --> 00:03:55,519
Okay, peanut.
94
00:03:55,553 --> 00:03:57,155
Guess we're getting
that team-up after all.
95
00:03:58,857 --> 00:04:00,892
-♪ Bye, bye ♪
-♪ Bye, bye ♪
96
00:04:05,063 --> 00:04:05,897
[grunts]
97
00:04:05,931 --> 00:04:08,400
♪ I'm doing this tonight ♪
98
00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:10,335
♪ You're probably gonna
start a fight ♪
99
00:04:10,369 --> 00:04:11,403
[screaming]
100
00:04:11,436 --> 00:04:13,805
♪ I know this can't be right ♪
101
00:04:13,839 --> 00:04:16,741
♪ Hey, baby, come on ♪
102
00:04:16,775 --> 00:04:19,444
♪ I loved you endlessly ♪
103
00:04:19,478 --> 00:04:22,114
♪ When you weren't
there for me ♪
104
00:04:22,147 --> 00:04:27,853
♪ So now it's time to leave
and make it alone ♪
105
00:04:27,886 --> 00:04:30,022
♪ I know that
I can't take no more ♪
106
00:04:30,055 --> 00:04:31,056
[smooches]
107
00:04:31,990 --> 00:04:33,392
[exhales]
108
00:04:33,425 --> 00:04:36,228
♪ I wanna see you
out that door ♪
109
00:04:36,261 --> 00:04:38,529
-♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
-♪ Bye, bye ♪
110
00:04:38,562 --> 00:04:40,698
♪ Don't wanna be
a fool for you ♪
111
00:04:40,731 --> 00:04:44,236
♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪
112
00:04:44,269 --> 00:04:47,705
♪ You may hate me,
but it ain't no lie ♪
113
00:04:47,738 --> 00:04:49,841
-♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
-♪ Bye, bye ♪
114
00:04:49,875 --> 00:04:52,077
♪ Don't really wanna
make it tough ♪
115
00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:55,180
♪ I just wanna tell you
that I've had enough ♪
116
00:04:55,213 --> 00:04:58,682
♪ It might sound crazy,
but it ain't no lie ♪
117
00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:01,652
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
118
00:05:02,653 --> 00:05:05,257
♪ Just hit me with the truth ♪
119
00:05:05,290 --> 00:05:07,192
♪ Now, girl, you're more
than welcome to ♪
120
00:05:07,225 --> 00:05:09,094
Maradona from outside the box!
121
00:05:09,461 --> 00:05:12,364
Goal!
122
00:05:12,397 --> 00:05:13,731
♪ Baby, come on ♪
123
00:05:13,765 --> 00:05:17,002
♪ I know that
I can't take no more ♪
124
00:05:17,035 --> 00:05:19,104
-♪ It ain't no lie ♪
-[both yelling]
125
00:05:19,137 --> 00:05:22,274
♪ I wanna see you
out that door ♪
126
00:05:22,307 --> 00:05:24,642
-♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
-♪ Bye, bye ♪
127
00:05:24,675 --> 00:05:26,878
♪ Don't wanna be
a fool for you ♪
128
00:05:26,912 --> 00:05:30,215
♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪
129
00:05:30,248 --> 00:05:33,418
♪ You may hate me,
but it ain't no lie ♪
130
00:05:33,452 --> 00:05:35,821
-♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
-♪ Bye, bye ♪
131
00:05:35,854 --> 00:05:38,023
♪ Don't really wanna
make it tough ♪
132
00:05:38,056 --> 00:05:41,226
♪ I just wanna tell you
that I had enough ♪
133
00:05:41,259 --> 00:05:44,628
♪ Might sound crazy,
but it ain't no lie ♪
134
00:05:44,662 --> 00:05:47,232
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
135
00:05:50,668 --> 00:05:53,972
♪ I don't wanna be your fool ♪
136
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:56,674
♪ In this game for two ♪
137
00:05:56,707 --> 00:05:59,244
♪ So I'm leavin' you behind ♪
138
00:05:59,277 --> 00:06:00,979
Come on, big fella.
139
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,781
♪ Bye, bye, bye, yeah ♪
140
00:06:02,814 --> 00:06:05,350
♪ I don't wanna
make it tough ♪
141
00:06:05,383 --> 00:06:07,853
♪ But I've had enough ♪
142
00:06:07,886 --> 00:06:11,123
-♪ And it ain't no lie ♪
-♪ Bye, bye ♪
143
00:06:11,156 --> 00:06:12,124
♪ Baby♪
144
00:06:12,157 --> 00:06:14,126
♪ Don't wanna be
a fool for you ♪
145
00:06:14,159 --> 00:06:16,094
♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪
146
00:06:16,128 --> 00:06:20,899
♪ I don't wanna be your fool,
but it ain't no lie ♪
147
00:06:20,932 --> 00:06:23,201
-♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye♪
-♪ Bye, bye♪
148
00:06:23,235 --> 00:06:25,070
♪ Don't really wanna
make it tough ♪
149
00:06:25,103 --> 00:06:28,739
♪ I just wanna tell you
that I had enough ♪
150
00:06:28,773 --> 00:06:32,210
♪ Might sound crazy,
but it ain't no lie ♪
151
00:06:32,244 --> 00:06:34,546
-♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪
-♪ Bye, bye ♪
152
00:06:34,579 --> 00:06:36,414
-[♪ song ends]
-[gasps dramatically]
153
00:06:36,448 --> 00:06:38,817
[♪ operatic music playing]
154
00:06:39,584 --> 00:06:42,120
I am soaking wet right now.
155
00:06:43,488 --> 00:06:45,123
[roars]
156
00:06:45,157 --> 00:06:47,225
To be clear, I'm not proud
of any of this.
157
00:06:47,259 --> 00:06:50,362
The wanton violence,
the whiff of necrophilia.
158
00:06:50,395 --> 00:06:51,496
It isn't who I am.
159
00:06:51,530 --> 00:06:53,098
It isn't who I wanna be.
160
00:06:53,131 --> 00:06:54,166
Who I wanna be?
161
00:06:54,199 --> 00:06:56,234
Well, to help you
understand that,
162
00:06:56,268 --> 00:06:57,302
I've gotta take you back.
163
00:06:57,335 --> 00:07:00,005
A little joyride I took
through space and time,
164
00:07:00,038 --> 00:07:02,974
to the day
that changed everything.
165
00:07:03,008 --> 00:07:05,110
[♪ uptempo music building]
166
00:07:12,384 --> 00:07:13,818
[♪ music fades out]
167
00:07:14,753 --> 00:07:16,588
I can't believe
I'm finally here.
168
00:07:16,621 --> 00:07:19,324
I've waited for this moment
for so long.
169
00:07:20,525 --> 00:07:22,894
Thank you, sir, for seeing me.
170
00:07:23,662 --> 00:07:25,696
I... I firmly believe
171
00:07:25,729 --> 00:07:27,065
that my services could be of
172
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:29,067
great use
to your organization.
173
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,268
Now, I know
174
00:07:30,302 --> 00:07:32,571
I was caught smashturbating
in the lobby of Stark Tower,
175
00:07:32,604 --> 00:07:33,872
-but I can assure you that--
-Smashturbating?
176
00:07:33,905 --> 00:07:35,207
I'm sorry, what...
what was that?
177
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,709
No, I'm sorry. That...
That's when you get those toy,
178
00:07:38,742 --> 00:07:40,011
Hulk hands, right?
179
00:07:40,045 --> 00:07:42,713
And then you just, you look
down, and you just...
180
00:07:42,746 --> 00:07:45,317
you brace yourself,
and you ravage the midsection.
181
00:07:45,350 --> 00:07:47,052
-Pinch the... Yeah. Okay.
-I get it. Okay, thank you.
182
00:07:47,085 --> 00:07:48,987
-The picture's painted.
-You get the gist.
183
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:51,456
Uh, what exactly
brings you here today?
184
00:07:51,489 --> 00:07:54,659
Why am I... Wow. Okay. Uh...
185
00:07:54,693 --> 00:07:56,194
I... I care.
186
00:07:56,228 --> 00:07:59,164
I know I turn everything
into a joke, but I...
187
00:08:01,032 --> 00:08:03,935
I care, and I wanna use
that feeling...
188
00:08:04,769 --> 00:08:07,172
for something important.
189
00:08:07,205 --> 00:08:08,506
I... I wanna matter.
190
00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:11,176
[♪ solemn music playing]
191
00:08:11,209 --> 00:08:13,178
I need to show my girl
that I matter.
192
00:08:14,479 --> 00:08:15,981
And...
193
00:08:16,014 --> 00:08:17,282
You know,
I feel like I'm wasting
194
00:08:17,315 --> 00:08:18,149
the good stuff here.
195
00:08:18,183 --> 00:08:19,718
Is the man not gonna
be joining us?
196
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:20,785
-The man?
-Yeah.
197
00:08:20,819 --> 00:08:22,954
I should save this
if he's gonna...
198
00:08:22,988 --> 00:08:24,990
Uh, as far as you're concerned
right now, I'm the man.
199
00:08:25,023 --> 00:08:26,658
-No.
-The man is me.
200
00:08:26,691 --> 00:08:29,661
I am the man
in this circumstance.
201
00:08:29,694 --> 00:08:30,895
-Mm.
-He doesn't do
202
00:08:30,929 --> 00:08:32,497
this kind of thing anymore.
203
00:08:32,530 --> 00:08:33,565
-Cameos?
-Meetings.
204
00:08:33,598 --> 00:08:35,233
-Meetings.
-Entry-level meetings.
205
00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:36,101
Entry-level?
206
00:08:36,134 --> 00:08:38,136
Aren't you the chauffeur...
207
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,438
-maybe?
-I... Common misconception.
208
00:08:40,472 --> 00:08:41,806
-Okay.
-I did begin my career
209
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,608
as Mr. Stark's driver.
210
00:08:43,642 --> 00:08:44,676
-Okay.
-Quickly pivoted to...
211
00:08:44,709 --> 00:08:46,211
-Chauffeur.
-...the Head of Security.
212
00:08:46,244 --> 00:08:48,213
The Head of...
Of course, yes, yes, yes.
213
00:08:48,246 --> 00:08:51,249
And why I am vetting
your resume.
214
00:08:51,283 --> 00:08:53,652
You seem to have left out
whether or not you had
215
00:08:53,685 --> 00:08:55,387
any experience
as a member of a team.
216
00:08:55,420 --> 00:08:56,254
Could you maybe add
217
00:08:56,288 --> 00:08:57,522
a little bit
of perspective there?
218
00:08:57,555 --> 00:08:59,958
Oh. No, yes, of course.
I was Special Forces...
219
00:08:59,991 --> 00:09:01,026
-Okay.
-...but I was...
220
00:09:01,059 --> 00:09:02,694
Mainly, I was team leader...
221
00:09:02,727 --> 00:09:03,995
founder, really, of X-Force.
222
00:09:04,029 --> 00:09:05,964
Sadly, they... they all
perished in action though.
223
00:09:05,997 --> 00:09:07,332
Oh. How exactly
did that happen?
224
00:09:07,365 --> 00:09:09,567
Well, the police say gravity,
but if...
225
00:09:09,601 --> 00:09:11,069
Just between us,
they didn't test well
226
00:09:11,102 --> 00:09:12,570
-in the focus group.
-I see.
227
00:09:12,604 --> 00:09:14,306
-Particularly Cable.
-X-Force.
228
00:09:14,339 --> 00:09:15,206
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
229
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,274
Look, I can see
this isn't going well.
230
00:09:16,308 --> 00:09:17,777
Please stop writing.
Look, I... I...
231
00:09:17,809 --> 00:09:19,878
I'm just...
I wanna be an Avenger.
232
00:09:21,479 --> 00:09:23,281
I wanna be an Avenger.
233
00:09:25,016 --> 00:09:26,918
Why do you wanna be
an Avenger?
234
00:09:26,951 --> 00:09:28,486
Look around you.
I mean, they're the...
235
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:29,921
they're the best of the best.
236
00:09:29,954 --> 00:09:31,990
And... And what
they do matters.
237
00:09:32,023 --> 00:09:34,426
I need to be an Avenger.
238
00:09:34,459 --> 00:09:36,895
Sir, my girl
has kinda had it
with my shtick,
239
00:09:36,928 --> 00:09:38,229
and I... if I don't, you know,
240
00:09:38,263 --> 00:09:41,066
turn things around and
do something with my "gifts,"
241
00:09:41,099 --> 00:09:42,834
I don't think it's gonna
really work out for me,
242
00:09:42,867 --> 00:09:44,269
and I wouldn't blame her.
243
00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:49,708
Avengers are a very unique
group of superheroes
244
00:09:49,741 --> 00:09:50,942
that stand for something
245
00:09:50,975 --> 00:09:53,611
more than just fighting
and wearing costumes.
246
00:09:53,645 --> 00:09:56,881
I mean, people look up to us.
Kids look up to us.
247
00:09:56,915 --> 00:09:58,116
-They--
-I'm sorry. "Us"?
248
00:09:58,149 --> 00:10:00,820
I wasn't aware
that you were an Avenger.
249
00:10:00,852 --> 00:10:01,886
Avengers-adjacent,
technically.
250
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,288
Oh, wow.
What's your superpower?
251
00:10:03,321 --> 00:10:05,957
Is it parallel parking?
I am so sorry.
252
00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:07,292
That was cruel.
253
00:10:07,325 --> 00:10:09,728
I lash out when I'm nervous.
Won't happen again.
254
00:10:09,762 --> 00:10:11,096
-Let's cut to the chase.
-Please.
255
00:10:11,129 --> 00:10:12,697
You just said moments ago
256
00:10:12,731 --> 00:10:15,066
that you wanted to be
an Avenger because
257
00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:17,235
you need it.
258
00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:18,303
Yes, sir, I do.
259
00:10:18,336 --> 00:10:19,904
But the Avengers
don't do the job
260
00:10:19,938 --> 00:10:21,373
because they need it.
261
00:10:21,406 --> 00:10:23,541
They do the job
because people need them.
262
00:10:24,709 --> 00:10:26,244
Do you see the distinction?
263
00:10:27,879 --> 00:10:29,447
Yes, sir.
264
00:10:30,315 --> 00:10:31,851
Please, Mr. Hogan.
265
00:10:31,883 --> 00:10:33,051
I don't wanna spend
the rest of my life
266
00:10:33,084 --> 00:10:35,286
like an annoying
one-trick pony.
267
00:10:38,189 --> 00:10:39,190
All right.
268
00:10:40,024 --> 00:10:41,794
Oh, my God, you're standing.
269
00:10:41,827 --> 00:10:43,328
Yeah, now's the time
that we stand.
270
00:10:43,361 --> 00:10:44,195
Damn it.
271
00:10:44,229 --> 00:10:45,798
Now, the problem
might be that you're
272
00:10:45,831 --> 00:10:48,233
reaching a little...
little too high.
273
00:10:48,266 --> 00:10:50,836
Aim for the middle,
and you'll never miss.
274
00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:52,036
Right?
I think you got a good heart.
275
00:10:52,070 --> 00:10:53,972
I believe what you're saying.
276
00:10:54,005 --> 00:10:55,607
But not everybody's
the world-saving type.
277
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,308
I'm not, and I'm happy.
278
00:10:57,877 --> 00:10:59,644
Right? I found my place.
279
00:11:00,512 --> 00:11:01,913
Find your place.
280
00:11:02,815 --> 00:11:04,916
All right? Get back out there.
281
00:11:04,949 --> 00:11:06,518
-We'll keep an eye on you.
-Okay.
282
00:11:06,551 --> 00:11:07,552
Good luck.
283
00:11:08,686 --> 00:11:11,256
-[Wade Wilson] Mm. Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm.
284
00:11:11,289 --> 00:11:13,893
Fetch the car.
I wanna hit Shake Shack.
285
00:11:13,925 --> 00:11:15,460
Rejection makes me hungy.
286
00:11:16,461 --> 00:11:17,996
-No, no. Please.
-No?
287
00:11:18,029 --> 00:11:19,631
-Yeah, no, no, no.
-Okay.
288
00:11:19,664 --> 00:11:20,932
Okay, thank you.
289
00:11:22,868 --> 00:11:24,569
[Deadpool]
You know what they say.
290
00:11:24,602 --> 00:11:26,104
When one door closes,
291
00:11:27,138 --> 00:11:28,908
your locker at work opens.
292
00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:31,276
[♪ rousing music playing]
293
00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:33,445
[stapling]
294
00:11:38,716 --> 00:11:40,018
Now let's go sell
some certified
295
00:11:40,051 --> 00:11:41,754
pre-owned vehicles,
motherfu...
296
00:11:41,787 --> 00:11:42,987
[♪ music stops]
297
00:11:44,122 --> 00:11:47,292
Technically, the...
the Carnival's not a minivan.
298
00:11:48,460 --> 00:11:49,527
It's an MPV.
299
00:11:49,561 --> 00:11:52,096
So how does the Kia compare
to the Honda Odyssey?
300
00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:53,598
The Odyssey?
That's a great question.
301
00:11:53,631 --> 00:11:55,733
-Um, it doesn't fucking suck.
-[boy snickers]
302
00:11:55,768 --> 00:11:58,269
You know, you can answer
the question without swearing.
303
00:11:58,303 --> 00:12:00,940
I'm sorry, Tammy, I don't...
I don't have kids.
304
00:12:00,972 --> 00:12:02,740
Not that I haven't
dreamt of that,
305
00:12:02,775 --> 00:12:05,009
but I don't have
a lot of vaginal sex.
306
00:12:08,179 --> 00:12:09,380
[Peter] You'll get 'em
next time, pal.
307
00:12:09,414 --> 00:12:10,482
-[Wade] Yeah.
-[Peter] And look,
308
00:12:10,515 --> 00:12:12,217
you can always go back
to superhero-ing.
309
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:14,986
I mean, I know I'd like
to see you back in the suit.
310
00:12:15,019 --> 00:12:17,655
I don't keep it in my locker
so that I can wear it.
311
00:12:17,689 --> 00:12:20,325
I keep it in my locker in case
we need to saddle up again.
312
00:12:20,358 --> 00:12:23,528
Hey, hey, hey.
What is that doing in there?
313
00:12:23,561 --> 00:12:24,662
I'm done.
314
00:12:26,431 --> 00:12:27,432
I'm done.
315
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:30,235
And I'm fine with being done.
316
00:12:30,268 --> 00:12:32,070
Look, is sales the best match?
317
00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:33,538
Probably not.
318
00:12:33,571 --> 00:12:37,342
Is this the life that I always
imagined for myself? Fuck no.
319
00:12:37,375 --> 00:12:40,478
But this is the right fit
for me, Sugar Bear, it is.
320
00:12:40,512 --> 00:12:42,113
Okay, Mr. Wilson.
321
00:12:42,146 --> 00:12:43,849
I'm just saying,
once a month,
322
00:12:43,883 --> 00:12:45,951
we could go
on a little mission.
323
00:12:45,985 --> 00:12:48,787
We're human beings.
We crave purpose.
324
00:12:48,821 --> 00:12:50,455
After all, we're Deadpool.
325
00:12:50,488 --> 00:12:53,091
Please stop saying that.
We're not Deadpool.
326
00:12:53,124 --> 00:12:55,393
I'm not even Deadpool anymore.
327
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:58,296
Well, if you're gonna have
a midlife crisis, go big.
328
00:12:58,329 --> 00:13:00,265
A few years ago,
a friend of mine
329
00:13:00,298 --> 00:13:02,567
got his nipples pierced
with a titanium chain
330
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,871
that goes down and attaches
to his Van Johnson.
331
00:13:05,905 --> 00:13:07,138
[camera clicking]
332
00:13:09,909 --> 00:13:11,911
Are... Are you feeling
grumplestiltskin
333
00:13:11,944 --> 00:13:13,378
'cause it's your birthday?
334
00:13:14,947 --> 00:13:16,147
What?
335
00:13:16,815 --> 00:13:17,816
No.
336
00:13:18,851 --> 00:13:20,051
No.
337
00:13:23,254 --> 00:13:25,256
-Surprise!
-[♪ hip-hop music plays]
338
00:13:25,290 --> 00:13:27,793
Hey, you guys are lucky
I'm not armed.
339
00:13:28,526 --> 00:13:29,561
Get in here.
340
00:13:29,594 --> 00:13:31,997
If this were six years ago,
you'd all be dead.
341
00:13:32,031 --> 00:13:33,799
So then,
he gets out of the cab,
342
00:13:33,832 --> 00:13:34,967
and you will not believe it.
343
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,969
I turn around,
and what do I find?
344
00:13:37,002 --> 00:13:38,670
-AirPods. His AirPods.
-His AirPods!
345
00:13:38,703 --> 00:13:39,905
-Come on.
-Crazy story.
346
00:13:39,939 --> 00:13:42,640
-Every time. Come on.
-[laughing]
Every single time.
347
00:13:43,408 --> 00:13:44,676
[Wade sighs]
348
00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:46,144
Make any sales today?
349
00:13:46,177 --> 00:13:47,579
You know I didn't.
350
00:13:47,612 --> 00:13:49,347
Did you sell
any dreamcatchers on Etsy
351
00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:51,016
or whatever it is
that you do?
352
00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:52,717
Our rent's due
in three days, Wade.
353
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,053
I can't keep carrying you.
354
00:13:54,085 --> 00:13:55,687
Relax. I have the money.
355
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,222
I sold some old
blood pressure medication
356
00:13:58,256 --> 00:13:59,524
I found lying around.
357
00:13:59,557 --> 00:14:01,192
You tryin' to kill me,
motherfucker?
358
00:14:01,225 --> 00:14:02,895
I'm not the one
dousing everything in salt,
359
00:14:02,928 --> 00:14:05,363
-motherfucker.
-I pray every day
360
00:14:05,396 --> 00:14:07,398
that fire finds your body
361
00:14:07,432 --> 00:14:09,902
and finishes the job
God didn't have
362
00:14:09,935 --> 00:14:11,603
-the nuts to do.
-That's hurtful.
363
00:14:11,636 --> 00:14:13,104
If you could hear
the look on my face,
364
00:14:13,137 --> 00:14:14,672
you'd smell how sad I am.
365
00:14:14,706 --> 00:14:16,008
You watched anything good?
366
00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:17,810
Great British Bake Off.
367
00:14:17,843 --> 00:14:19,177
Oh, goddamn.
368
00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:21,512
That show stood between me
and suicide for 10 years.
369
00:14:21,546 --> 00:14:24,215
Those are my feelings on
abortion, religious freedom,
370
00:14:24,248 --> 00:14:26,417
animal rights,
privacy rights, vaccines,
371
00:14:26,451 --> 00:14:28,653
free-market capitalism,
global climate change.
372
00:14:28,686 --> 00:14:31,723
Yeah, duh-duh-duh.
No, no speaking lines, Buck.
373
00:14:31,757 --> 00:14:33,859
-Hi, Yukio.
-Hi, Wade.
374
00:14:33,892 --> 00:14:36,394
Nice fake o'clock shadow.
375
00:14:36,427 --> 00:14:39,664
It's a summer balayage.
From the French.
376
00:14:39,697 --> 00:14:43,234
It's meant to mimic
the natural highlights
of the sun.
377
00:14:43,267 --> 00:14:45,169
-It's a toupee.
-It's a hair system.
378
00:14:45,203 --> 00:14:47,538
I love your hair system, Wade.
379
00:14:47,572 --> 00:14:48,874
Thank you. Heh.
380
00:14:48,907 --> 00:14:50,341
Wanna do some cocaine?
381
00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:53,478
Hey, cocaine is the one thing
that Feige said is off limits.
382
00:14:53,511 --> 00:14:55,313
What about
Bolivian marching powder?
383
00:14:55,346 --> 00:14:57,448
They know all the slang terms.
They have a list.
384
00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:59,317
-Even snowboarding?
-Even disco dust.
385
00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:00,385
White girl interrupted?
386
00:15:00,418 --> 00:15:01,987
-Even Forrest Bump.
-Booger sugar?
387
00:15:02,021 --> 00:15:03,254
I wouldn't even try
powdered gonuts.
388
00:15:03,287 --> 00:15:06,859
-Do you wanna build a snowman?
-Yes. But I can't.
389
00:15:08,459 --> 00:15:09,862
Pull here.
390
00:15:09,895 --> 00:15:10,996
-Here?
-Yeah. [gasps]
391
00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:12,263
-[Yukio yelps]
-[laughter]
392
00:15:12,296 --> 00:15:13,799
-[Dopinder] What happened?
-That's the fun part.
393
00:15:15,134 --> 00:15:16,467
Thanks for coming.
394
00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:17,602
Yeah.
395
00:15:17,635 --> 00:15:18,837
How's work?
396
00:15:18,871 --> 00:15:20,238
Oh, I got a promotion.
397
00:15:21,006 --> 00:15:22,373
No way.
398
00:15:22,407 --> 00:15:25,510
Yeah. It's mind-numbing middle
management, but I'm happy.
399
00:15:25,543 --> 00:15:26,611
That's great.
400
00:15:28,379 --> 00:15:29,848
-You, uh, seeing anyone?
-How about you?
401
00:15:30,883 --> 00:15:32,818
Um... Yeah.
402
00:15:32,851 --> 00:15:35,486
A guy from work. Dermot.
403
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:36,721
Dermot.
404
00:15:36,755 --> 00:15:38,157
-He's kind.
-Good.
405
00:15:38,189 --> 00:15:39,858
Likes to go hiking.
406
00:15:39,892 --> 00:15:41,325
Hasn't gotten me shot yet.
407
00:15:41,359 --> 00:15:43,695
Well, it's the early days.
408
00:15:43,728 --> 00:15:45,196
[Vanessa chuckles]
409
00:15:47,565 --> 00:15:49,600
What about you?
You seeing anyone?
410
00:15:49,634 --> 00:15:50,568
[Wade] Mm...
411
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,303
No, no, I live
in a one-bedroom apartment.
412
00:15:52,336 --> 00:15:53,872
I share a bed with Blind Al.
413
00:15:55,273 --> 00:15:57,341
-Okay.
-[laughs]
414
00:15:57,375 --> 00:15:58,811
-All right.
-All right.
415
00:16:00,344 --> 00:16:03,849
[all] ♪ Happy birthday
to you♪
416
00:16:03,882 --> 00:16:05,416
-Speech! Speech!
-[Yukio] Yes!
417
00:16:05,450 --> 00:16:07,485
All right.
Okay, okay, okay. Uh...
418
00:16:08,252 --> 00:16:09,353
Birthdays.
419
00:16:09,387 --> 00:16:11,123
Boy, every spin
around the moon
420
00:16:11,156 --> 00:16:12,223
is a new adventure indeed.
421
00:16:12,256 --> 00:16:14,492
-Sun, dumbass.
-Okay, round-earther.
422
00:16:15,828 --> 00:16:17,963
-Where was I?
-The adventure of life.
423
00:16:17,996 --> 00:16:19,098
Right. Um...
424
00:16:19,131 --> 00:16:21,365
It's been
a challenging few years.
425
00:16:21,399 --> 00:16:22,734
Haven't seen you guys
in a while.
426
00:16:22,768 --> 00:16:25,137
Been through a lot,
uh, change of life.
427
00:16:25,170 --> 00:16:27,206
-Menopause?
-Bitch, are you improv-ing?
428
00:16:27,238 --> 00:16:29,640
-Mm-mm.
-Sorry.
429
00:16:29,674 --> 00:16:31,176
[softly] I'm sorry that
you had to see that, Yukio.
430
00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:33,277
-[softly] It's okay.
-Yeah.
431
00:16:34,378 --> 00:16:36,148
[sighs] But I'm happy.
432
00:16:36,181 --> 00:16:37,482
You know, and that's... that's
433
00:16:37,515 --> 00:16:40,618
because of each
and every one of you.
434
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:42,320
I guess,
what I'm trying to say is
435
00:16:42,353 --> 00:16:43,956
how proud I am,
how grateful I am
436
00:16:43,989 --> 00:16:45,289
to be standing in a room
437
00:16:45,323 --> 00:16:48,559
with every single
person I love.
438
00:16:48,593 --> 00:16:50,728
[♪ soft music playing]
439
00:16:53,531 --> 00:16:55,433
I'm the luckiest man alive.
440
00:16:55,768 --> 00:16:56,769
[chuckles]
441
00:16:57,836 --> 00:16:58,736
Make a wish, buddy.
442
00:16:58,771 --> 00:17:01,639
Ten-four, good buddy.
[chuckles]
443
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:02,775
Going down.
444
00:17:06,111 --> 00:17:07,311
[knock at door]
445
00:17:09,047 --> 00:17:10,082
Wade Wilson?
446
00:17:10,115 --> 00:17:11,516
Oh, yeah. Dancers.
447
00:17:11,549 --> 00:17:13,417
Dopinder must have
ordered you.
448
00:17:13,451 --> 00:17:15,154
Are those supposed
to be cop costumes?
449
00:17:15,187 --> 00:17:16,687
Never mind.
450
00:17:16,721 --> 00:17:19,057
Take your clothes off
but leave the helmets.
451
00:17:19,091 --> 00:17:20,391
And this isn't Pretty Woman.
452
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,493
We're kissing. All right?
453
00:17:22,527 --> 00:17:24,428
What song do you guys
normally dance to?
454
00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:28,633
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
455
00:17:28,666 --> 00:17:30,002
Is that supposed to be scary?
456
00:17:30,035 --> 00:17:32,004
Pegging isn't new for me,
friendo.
457
00:17:32,037 --> 00:17:33,538
But it is for Disney.
458
00:17:34,173 --> 00:17:35,306
Ah, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta!
459
00:17:35,339 --> 00:17:37,209
Okay, I've never been
a natural bottom,
460
00:17:37,242 --> 00:17:39,211
so we're gonna
take things real slow.
461
00:17:39,244 --> 00:17:41,180
And I want some
crazy eye contact.
462
00:17:41,213 --> 00:17:42,680
Not you.
You.
463
00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:44,649
Can't see your eyes
through the mask,
but I can feel them.
464
00:17:44,682 --> 00:17:46,350
We're gonna move on
down the hallway
465
00:17:46,384 --> 00:17:48,352
so we can spare a cleanup
on aisle asshole.
466
00:17:48,386 --> 00:17:49,822
How's everyone feel
about this plan?
467
00:17:49,855 --> 00:17:50,756
I don't like you.
468
00:17:50,789 --> 00:17:53,025
Yes. Let's hold on
to that attitude.
469
00:17:53,058 --> 00:17:54,827
And we're gonna do it angry.
470
00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:56,028
[grunts]
471
00:17:57,328 --> 00:17:58,529
[grunts]
472
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,903
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
473
00:18:04,937 --> 00:18:06,404
[Wade moans softly]
474
00:18:07,139 --> 00:18:08,339
[Wade grunts]
475
00:18:12,945 --> 00:18:14,079
[Voice] Mr. Wilson...
476
00:18:15,814 --> 00:18:18,817
you appear to have soiled
yourself while unconscious.
477
00:18:18,851 --> 00:18:21,485
I wasn't unconscious.
Who are you?
478
00:18:21,519 --> 00:18:23,454
I go by the name of Paradox.
479
00:18:23,487 --> 00:18:27,125
Mr. Paradox. And you're
sitting here at the TVA.
480
00:18:27,159 --> 00:18:29,261
The Time Variance Authority.
481
00:18:29,294 --> 00:18:31,562
We're really
a watchdog organization,
482
00:18:31,596 --> 00:18:34,266
except we're more lighthearted
than that sounds,
483
00:18:34,299 --> 00:18:37,702
with a sort of
throwback, ironic twist.
484
00:18:37,735 --> 00:18:39,338
And we're in charge
of defending
485
00:18:39,370 --> 00:18:42,007
what's known
as the Sacred Timeline.
486
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:45,409
Holy fuck. That is a shit-ton
of exposition for a threequel.
487
00:18:45,443 --> 00:18:47,411
Is this because
I used Cable's time machine?
488
00:18:47,445 --> 00:18:49,248
Brought a couple of people
back to life,
489
00:18:49,281 --> 00:18:50,349
then I destroyed it.
490
00:18:50,381 --> 00:18:51,783
-That was a long time ago.
-Yes,
491
00:18:51,817 --> 00:18:54,552
we're aware of your abuse
of your timeline.
492
00:18:54,585 --> 00:18:57,322
[chuckles] And you were
so abusive of it.
493
00:18:57,356 --> 00:18:59,825
Uh, no, it has nothing
to do with that.
494
00:18:59,858 --> 00:19:00,926
Walk with me.
495
00:19:03,095 --> 00:19:05,097
[♪ mysterious music playing]
496
00:19:06,697 --> 00:19:09,433
I brought you here,
Mr. Wilson, to tell you
497
00:19:09,467 --> 00:19:11,569
that you're special.
498
00:19:11,602 --> 00:19:14,538
In fact, you've been chosen
for a higher purpose,
499
00:19:14,572 --> 00:19:16,909
a purpose unclear even to me.
500
00:19:16,942 --> 00:19:18,877
But one that could
501
00:19:18,911 --> 00:19:21,947
save the entire
Sacred Timeline
502
00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:24,682
from a possibly grisly fate
sometime in the future,
503
00:19:24,715 --> 00:19:27,352
which may very well
need to be...
504
00:19:27,386 --> 00:19:29,221
avenged.
505
00:19:29,254 --> 00:19:30,956
This Sacred Timeline,
506
00:19:32,024 --> 00:19:33,959
I assume I'm going to marvel
507
00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:35,593
at how
508
00:19:36,128 --> 00:19:37,963
cinematic it feels?
509
00:19:37,996 --> 00:19:39,865
Gratuitous cameos,
510
00:19:39,898 --> 00:19:42,067
indiscriminate use of
Variants, the whole package?
511
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,102
Well, you tell me.
512
00:19:44,136 --> 00:19:45,137
[device beeps]
513
00:19:47,773 --> 00:19:49,975
[♪ heroic music playing]
514
00:19:51,109 --> 00:19:52,110
Cap!
515
00:19:59,217 --> 00:20:01,719
You are no longer lost, Wade.
516
00:20:01,753 --> 00:20:04,722
You can be a hero
among heroes.
517
00:20:04,756 --> 00:20:06,925
We've been surveilling you
for quite a while.
518
00:20:06,959 --> 00:20:10,028
-Subway station.
-A TVA outpost, yes.
519
00:20:11,196 --> 00:20:12,496
-And what is that?
-Hmm?
520
00:20:15,334 --> 00:20:16,835
Is that me? Is that Thor?
521
00:20:18,236 --> 00:20:20,105
-Is he crying?
-Uh, let's not
522
00:20:20,138 --> 00:20:21,472
-get ahead of ourselves.
-[gasps]
523
00:20:21,505 --> 00:20:22,774
That happens
in the distant future.
524
00:20:22,808 --> 00:20:24,675
Why is Thor crying?
Quick! Tell me.
525
00:20:24,709 --> 00:20:26,178
Do not speak to her.
Stop that. Eyes on me.
526
00:20:26,211 --> 00:20:28,612
I brought you here
to offer you an opportunity.
527
00:20:28,646 --> 00:20:30,614
The opportunity
you sought years ago,
528
00:20:30,648 --> 00:20:32,217
but for which
you were not ready.
529
00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:33,785
We believe you're ready now.
530
00:20:33,819 --> 00:20:35,887
Ready for a chance
to leave your timeline
531
00:20:35,921 --> 00:20:38,223
and join the greatest
universe of all.
532
00:20:38,256 --> 00:20:40,258
I am about to
give you the thing
you've always wanted.
533
00:20:40,292 --> 00:20:41,827
Oh, I smell
what you're steppin' in.
534
00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:43,328
The power
in the Marvel Universe
535
00:20:43,362 --> 00:20:44,595
is about to change forever.
536
00:20:46,697 --> 00:20:48,433
I am the Messiah...
537
00:20:48,467 --> 00:20:50,235
[♪ heavenly music building]
538
00:20:50,268 --> 00:20:52,603
I am...
539
00:20:53,772 --> 00:20:55,273
-[♪ music stops]
-...Marvel Jesus.
540
00:20:56,607 --> 00:20:58,210
Can you excuse me
for just a moment?
541
00:20:58,243 --> 00:20:59,744
I'm just gonna go over here.
542
00:21:02,914 --> 00:21:04,316
Suck it, Fox!
543
00:21:04,349 --> 00:21:05,616
I'm going to Disneyland.
544
00:21:05,649 --> 00:21:07,119
[grunts] Get fucked!
545
00:21:10,621 --> 00:21:11,655
Where do I sign?
546
00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:12,791
Oh, there's no need
for paperwork.
547
00:21:12,824 --> 00:21:15,193
Good. Not to brag,
but I do not read.
548
00:21:15,227 --> 00:21:16,094
[chuckles] Oh.
549
00:21:16,128 --> 00:21:18,263
There is one thing
I will need, though.
550
00:21:20,866 --> 00:21:22,401
[♪ rousing music playing]
551
00:21:22,434 --> 00:21:25,037
[laughs] Oh, fuck off!
552
00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:27,039
Adorn me, Beardo.
553
00:21:41,887 --> 00:21:43,721
-[squeaks]
-[elevator dings]
554
00:21:45,223 --> 00:21:47,492
[♪ hip-hop music plays, Fergie
ft. Ludacris "Glamorous"]
555
00:21:47,526 --> 00:21:49,061
Fuckin' A!
556
00:21:49,094 --> 00:21:51,229
Uhh! It's perfect! FYI,
557
00:21:51,263 --> 00:21:54,533
your tailor is a predator,
but I love it. Snug.
558
00:21:54,565 --> 00:21:55,699
No camel toe.
559
00:21:55,733 --> 00:21:59,337
New car smell
and adamantium katanas?
560
00:21:59,371 --> 00:22:01,173
You shouldn't have.
561
00:22:01,206 --> 00:22:03,108
Go ahead. Take it in.
562
00:22:03,141 --> 00:22:05,877
And yes, your underwear
is getting tighter.
563
00:22:05,911 --> 00:22:07,678
That guy knows
what I'm talking about.
564
00:22:07,711 --> 00:22:09,414
His clothes says
middle management,
565
00:22:09,448 --> 00:22:12,117
but his eyes say
fuck-y fuck-y.
566
00:22:12,150 --> 00:22:14,086
Yes. You look very nice.
567
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:15,187
[Deadpool] "Nice"?
568
00:22:15,220 --> 00:22:17,255
Your buddy here is ready
to throw it all away for me.
569
00:22:17,289 --> 00:22:18,557
-You callin' your wife?
-HR.
570
00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:19,991
[Deadpool] Does your wife
work in HR?
571
00:22:20,025 --> 00:22:22,394
[Mr. Paradox] I'm really glad
you're taking this so well.
572
00:22:22,427 --> 00:22:24,129
[Deadpool]
Oh, I'm taking it well.
573
00:22:24,162 --> 00:22:26,697
I have never had a problem
traveling for work.
574
00:22:26,730 --> 00:22:28,867
That said,
we should talk vacation days.
575
00:22:28,900 --> 00:22:31,503
I'm more of a one-week-on-
one-week-off kind of guy.
576
00:22:31,536 --> 00:22:32,971
I think it's what they do
in Denmark.
577
00:22:33,004 --> 00:22:34,773
You know, you'll never see
a Danish flag on the moon,
578
00:22:34,806 --> 00:22:36,740
but [chuckles]
goddamn it, they're happy.
579
00:22:36,775 --> 00:22:39,478
Now, let's power up your
little Amazon Fire phone there
580
00:22:39,511 --> 00:22:40,979
and zip me back home
581
00:22:41,012 --> 00:22:42,981
so I can let my friends know
that they've been upgraded
582
00:22:43,014 --> 00:22:44,049
to disciples.
583
00:22:44,082 --> 00:22:47,119
Yeah. I don't think you...
quite understand.
584
00:22:47,152 --> 00:22:49,855
Um, you will not be returning
to your home
585
00:22:49,888 --> 00:22:52,357
because there will be
no home to return to.
586
00:22:52,390 --> 00:22:53,425
Come again?
587
00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:54,692
This time in my ears.
588
00:22:56,727 --> 00:22:57,929
[device beeps]
589
00:22:58,797 --> 00:23:01,933
This is your universe,
Mr. Wilson.
590
00:23:02,434 --> 00:23:03,734
That
591
00:23:03,768 --> 00:23:05,736
is what happens
when a universe
592
00:23:05,770 --> 00:23:07,939
loses their Anchor Being.
593
00:23:07,973 --> 00:23:10,142
See how it decays
from the inside?
594
00:23:10,175 --> 00:23:13,011
-This is how a reality dies.
-What's an Anchor Being?
595
00:23:13,044 --> 00:23:15,447
An Anchor Being is an entity
of such vital importance
596
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:16,680
that when they die,
597
00:23:16,714 --> 00:23:20,051
their whole world slowly
withers out of existence.
598
00:23:20,085 --> 00:23:22,921
You've just won the lottery
because I didn't die.
599
00:23:22,954 --> 00:23:24,789
It was just a little midlife
crisis. I'm better now.
600
00:23:24,823 --> 00:23:27,192
Oh, no, no, no. [laughing]
601
00:23:29,361 --> 00:23:30,996
[Deadpool laughs along]
602
00:23:31,029 --> 00:23:33,832
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, I love to laugh.
603
00:23:33,865 --> 00:23:36,568
Can you imagine
if you were the Anchor Being?
604
00:23:36,601 --> 00:23:38,702
-[Deadpool, dully] Yeah.
-[laughs] Oh!
605
00:23:38,736 --> 00:23:41,273
-Yeah.
-No, it isn't you, Mr. Wilson.
606
00:23:41,940 --> 00:23:43,408
Your Anchor Being died
607
00:23:43,441 --> 00:23:46,677
in an act
of self-sacrifice so epic
608
00:23:46,710 --> 00:23:49,080
that it sent shivers
down the Timeline.
609
00:23:49,114 --> 00:23:52,184
I am referring,
of course, to...
610
00:23:53,518 --> 00:23:57,289
Logan. The Wolverine.
611
00:24:00,724 --> 00:24:03,195
[weakly] Don't be
what they made you.
612
00:24:04,095 --> 00:24:06,865
[♪ sentimental slow rock
music playing]
613
00:24:11,503 --> 00:24:13,104
[crying]
614
00:24:13,138 --> 00:24:15,840
Ah, so this is
what it feels like...
615
00:24:17,509 --> 00:24:18,709
[Deadpool] Logan.
616
00:24:19,444 --> 00:24:20,445
Of course.
617
00:24:21,112 --> 00:24:22,113
Logan.
618
00:24:23,747 --> 00:24:24,816
[Deadpool groans]
619
00:24:24,849 --> 00:24:26,384
[yelling] Logan?
620
00:24:26,418 --> 00:24:28,386
The guy with forks for hands?
621
00:24:28,420 --> 00:24:30,989
-That Wolverine?
-[device beeps]
622
00:24:31,022 --> 00:24:32,824
Yeah, I got it.
You can turn your
623
00:24:32,857 --> 00:24:35,160
retro graphics of death
off now. Make it stop.
624
00:24:35,193 --> 00:24:36,695
We're not doing it,
Mr. Wilson.
625
00:24:36,727 --> 00:24:37,963
We certainly can't stop it.
626
00:24:40,031 --> 00:24:41,066
[Deadpool]
How long have we got?
627
00:24:41,099 --> 00:24:43,768
In most cases,
couple thousand years.
628
00:24:43,802 --> 00:24:45,070
-Well, sweet.
-Well, most cases
629
00:24:45,103 --> 00:24:47,539
aren't fast enough.
Not for me.
630
00:24:47,572 --> 00:24:48,673
[Deadpool]
What does that mean?
631
00:24:48,707 --> 00:24:50,875
It means
that I have been tasked
632
00:24:50,909 --> 00:24:53,345
with overseeing
the end of your universe.
633
00:24:53,378 --> 00:24:54,312
And regardless of what
634
00:24:54,346 --> 00:24:56,248
the pencil pushers upstairs
would prefer,
635
00:24:56,281 --> 00:24:57,515
I will not
636
00:24:57,549 --> 00:25:01,086
waste my life watching it die
slowly of natural causes.
637
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,255
We used to just prune
these things. Simple.
638
00:25:03,288 --> 00:25:05,257
Elegant. Efficient.
But I'm told the TVA
639
00:25:05,290 --> 00:25:07,792
doesn't like to do that
anymore. Well, I do.
640
00:25:07,826 --> 00:25:09,628
And no matter what
my so-called superiors say,
641
00:25:09,661 --> 00:25:12,264
the multiverse does not
need a babysitter.
642
00:25:12,297 --> 00:25:13,965
We need a mercy killer.
643
00:25:13,999 --> 00:25:15,700
And in this instance,
644
00:25:15,734 --> 00:25:19,004
I am the mercy killer. Ha!
645
00:25:20,305 --> 00:25:21,306
[chuckles]
646
00:25:22,374 --> 00:25:23,275
[device beeps]
647
00:25:23,308 --> 00:25:25,176
[Deadpool] What in
the MacGuffin is that?
648
00:25:25,210 --> 00:25:27,545
[Mr. Paradox] That's
a Time Ripper, Mr. Wilson.
649
00:25:27,579 --> 00:25:29,214
An accelerant.
650
00:25:29,247 --> 00:25:31,950
Once completed,
it will allow me to destroy
651
00:25:31,983 --> 00:25:34,019
the spacetime matrix
of your universe.
652
00:25:34,052 --> 00:25:36,354
You see, I don't want
to work for the TVA.
653
00:25:36,388 --> 00:25:38,256
I want to be the TVA.
654
00:25:38,290 --> 00:25:41,026
And the first step involves
showing this organization
655
00:25:41,059 --> 00:25:42,927
how much more efficient
it can become.
656
00:25:42,961 --> 00:25:44,796
To wit, I will be
giving your universe
657
00:25:44,829 --> 00:25:47,365
a swift and compassionate end.
658
00:25:47,399 --> 00:25:49,000
And don't worry, your friends
won't feel a thing.
659
00:25:49,034 --> 00:25:51,803
It'll be over just like this.
"Oh, what's that?" [groans]
660
00:25:52,404 --> 00:25:53,471
Trust me.
661
00:26:06,051 --> 00:26:08,486
You're gonna Old Yeller
my fucking universe?
662
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,722
Mm... In your parlance, yes.
663
00:26:10,756 --> 00:26:12,157
Two in the heart,
one in the head.
664
00:26:12,190 --> 00:26:14,259
Look, Mr. Wilson,
you have two choices.
665
00:26:14,292 --> 00:26:15,795
You can either rejoin
your loved ones
666
00:26:15,827 --> 00:26:17,696
and collectively cease
to exist in,
667
00:26:17,729 --> 00:26:20,766
I'd say, 72 hours. Or...
668
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,335
you join the Sacred Timeline.
669
00:26:23,368 --> 00:26:25,771
And you end your days
of insignificance
670
00:26:25,805 --> 00:26:28,039
and mediocrity.
671
00:26:28,073 --> 00:26:29,641
Wade.
672
00:26:29,674 --> 00:26:31,543
Wade, you can finally,
673
00:26:31,576 --> 00:26:34,112
finally matter.
674
00:26:38,283 --> 00:26:41,119
-[Hulk roars]
-[♪ sentimental music playing]
675
00:26:43,722 --> 00:26:45,857
That's all
I've ever really wanted.
676
00:26:45,890 --> 00:26:47,292
I know.
677
00:26:47,793 --> 00:26:49,728
I know.
678
00:26:49,762 --> 00:26:51,930
And you know I'm...
I'm nothing if not
679
00:26:51,963 --> 00:26:53,365
morally flexible. [chuckles]
680
00:26:53,799 --> 00:26:54,999
[chuckles]
681
00:26:55,734 --> 00:26:56,935
Yep, yep.
682
00:26:58,970 --> 00:27:00,205
I'll do it.
683
00:27:00,238 --> 00:27:01,139
Wise choice.
684
00:27:01,172 --> 00:27:03,007
The Sacred Timeline's happy
to have you.
685
00:27:03,041 --> 00:27:04,209
[Deadpool] I was actually
talking about finding
686
00:27:04,242 --> 00:27:06,077
the Wolverine and breaking
your fucking nose.
687
00:27:06,846 --> 00:27:08,046
[groans]
688
00:27:09,447 --> 00:27:10,882
[♪ soft rock music plays,
Goo Goo Dolls "Iris"]
689
00:27:10,915 --> 00:27:13,651
♪ And I'd give up forever
to touch you ♪
690
00:27:13,685 --> 00:27:17,722
♪ 'Cause I know
that you feel me somehow ♪
691
00:27:17,757 --> 00:27:18,957
[♪ song stops]
692
00:27:19,759 --> 00:27:22,127
Find him. Find him!
693
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,162
[Deadpool]
And boy, did he ever.
694
00:27:24,195 --> 00:27:25,831
[grunting]
695
00:27:25,865 --> 00:27:27,399
Which brings us back to this.
696
00:27:29,334 --> 00:27:31,636
The desecration
of the sacred corpse.
697
00:27:31,669 --> 00:27:34,506
-[♪ dramatic music playing]
-[yelling and grunting]
698
00:27:35,775 --> 00:27:37,475
-Oh, my God!
-[yells]
699
00:27:38,476 --> 00:27:41,513
Oh! My own fucking arm!
700
00:27:41,546 --> 00:27:42,714
[soldier 1 yells]
701
00:27:42,747 --> 00:27:44,516
-[soldier 1 screams]
-[grunting]
702
00:27:44,549 --> 00:27:46,151
-[soldier 1 screaming]
-Now we're talkin'!
703
00:27:46,184 --> 00:27:47,685
[soldier 1] Not like this!
704
00:27:47,719 --> 00:27:49,889
No, dear God! No!
705
00:27:49,921 --> 00:27:52,056
[Deadpool] I'm sorry!
Wolverine-ing is hard!
706
00:27:52,090 --> 00:27:53,491
[soldier 2] Make it stop!
707
00:27:53,525 --> 00:27:54,726
[Deadpool] Mangold tried.
708
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,628
[soldiers screaming]
709
00:27:57,529 --> 00:27:59,597
You sick fuck!
710
00:27:59,631 --> 00:28:00,999
Logan was a hero.
711
00:28:01,032 --> 00:28:02,600
And the only thing
worth a shit
712
00:28:02,634 --> 00:28:04,035
to ever come out of Canada.
713
00:28:04,569 --> 00:28:05,603
[soldier 1 cries out]
714
00:28:06,171 --> 00:28:07,372
[soldier 2 screams]
715
00:28:11,811 --> 00:28:14,012
[Deadpool]
Get my country's name
716
00:28:14,045 --> 00:28:16,247
out of your fuckin' mouth.
717
00:28:17,148 --> 00:28:19,017
And my sword. Give me that.
718
00:28:21,286 --> 00:28:22,153
[exhales]
719
00:28:22,187 --> 00:28:24,622
Oh, I gotta find me
another Logan.
720
00:28:25,056 --> 00:28:26,391
An alive one.
721
00:28:26,424 --> 00:28:29,394
Don't get up, guys.
I'll see myself out.
722
00:28:29,427 --> 00:28:32,163
[♪ synth rock music playing,
"The Power of Love"]
723
00:28:36,367 --> 00:28:37,368
Logan!
724
00:28:40,906 --> 00:28:42,707
I'm gonna need you
to come with me.
725
00:28:43,843 --> 00:28:45,043
Who's asking?
726
00:28:45,845 --> 00:28:47,145
[♪ music stops]
727
00:28:47,178 --> 00:28:49,113
[Deadpool] Oh, look at
this little Hairy Lou Retton.
728
00:28:49,147 --> 00:28:51,015
Did you stick the landing,
little guy?
729
00:28:51,549 --> 00:28:52,584
Yes, you did!
730
00:28:52,617 --> 00:28:54,285
Comic-accurate short king.
731
00:28:54,319 --> 00:28:56,721
Such a cute wittle Wolvie.
732
00:28:56,755 --> 00:28:58,389
Cue the fuckin' montage, baby.
733
00:28:58,423 --> 00:29:00,124
-[♪ synth rock music resumes]
-Ahoy!
734
00:29:00,158 --> 00:29:02,427
Everything seems
to be on fire.
735
00:29:02,460 --> 00:29:04,095
You have a dragon?
736
00:29:04,128 --> 00:29:06,698
Ooh, you have Anchor Being
written all over--
737
00:29:06,731 --> 00:29:08,466
[grunting]
738
00:29:09,534 --> 00:29:10,635
[growling]
739
00:29:10,668 --> 00:29:14,272
♪ Make a one man weep,
make another man sing♪
740
00:29:14,874 --> 00:29:16,508
♪ Change a hawk...♪
741
00:29:16,541 --> 00:29:17,575
Patch!
742
00:29:17,609 --> 00:29:20,779
-[engine revving]
-Oh, now we're talkin'.
743
00:29:21,479 --> 00:29:23,181
Oh, yeah.
744
00:29:23,214 --> 00:29:25,350
That's the whole goddamn
package right there.
745
00:29:26,351 --> 00:29:27,285
Howdy!
746
00:29:27,318 --> 00:29:30,054
I'm just... I'm auditioning
Anchor Beings.
747
00:29:30,088 --> 00:29:32,724
Oh. Yeah, that's gonna need
some coconut oil.
748
00:29:34,526 --> 00:29:35,660
[grunts]
749
00:29:35,693 --> 00:29:36,996
[crow cawing]
750
00:29:37,028 --> 00:29:39,197
What in the fuck?
751
00:29:39,230 --> 00:29:41,032
[laughs] Are you okay?
752
00:29:41,432 --> 00:29:42,367
Oh, yes, yes.
753
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,369
Classic John Byrne
brown and tan.
754
00:29:44,402 --> 00:29:46,371
Now, you fought the Hulk
in this outfit. No?
755
00:29:46,404 --> 00:29:48,373
-[deep growl]
-[♪ song stops]
756
00:29:49,274 --> 00:29:51,042
I'm Marvel Jesus,
you dull creature,
757
00:29:51,075 --> 00:29:52,243
and I will not-- [yells]
758
00:29:52,277 --> 00:29:53,745
-[Deadpool groans]
-[♪ song resumes playing]
759
00:29:54,646 --> 00:29:56,114
[grunting]
760
00:29:59,050 --> 00:30:01,719
-[thunder rumbles]
-[groaning]
761
00:30:01,754 --> 00:30:04,589
It's not you. We're just going
in a different direction.
762
00:30:06,591 --> 00:30:07,793
[engine revving]
763
00:30:07,826 --> 00:30:08,861
You know, from behind,
764
00:30:08,894 --> 00:30:10,029
you look a little bit
like Henry--
765
00:30:10,061 --> 00:30:11,462
-Oh, my fuck!
-[♪ song stops]
766
00:30:11,496 --> 00:30:14,767
The Cavillrine.
The legends are true.
767
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,803
And may I say, sir,
on behalf of all humanity,
768
00:30:17,836 --> 00:30:19,805
this just feels right.
769
00:30:19,838 --> 00:30:21,372
We will treat you
so much better
770
00:30:21,406 --> 00:30:22,707
than those shit fucks
down the street.
771
00:30:22,740 --> 00:30:25,010
-You were just leavin'.
-[Deadpool] No, sir.
772
00:30:25,044 --> 00:30:26,544
Not while the fate
of my universe is at--
773
00:30:28,814 --> 00:30:29,815
[man grunts]
774
00:30:30,381 --> 00:30:31,215
[choking]
775
00:30:31,249 --> 00:30:32,785
This one looks promising.
776
00:30:32,818 --> 00:30:34,118
Down you go.
777
00:30:35,553 --> 00:30:36,554
[Logan] Again.
778
00:30:37,388 --> 00:30:39,657
I told you.
You're not welcome here.
779
00:30:39,691 --> 00:30:41,125
You're not welcome anywhere.
780
00:30:41,159 --> 00:30:42,427
Now get the fuck
out of my bar.
781
00:30:42,460 --> 00:30:45,129
Just give me one more drink
and then I'll leave.
782
00:30:45,163 --> 00:30:46,966
[bartender] That's not
how it works.
783
00:30:46,999 --> 00:30:49,200
[Deadpool] It does now.
Leave the bottle.
784
00:30:49,233 --> 00:30:50,301
I know you, bub?
785
00:30:50,335 --> 00:30:52,905
Nope. But I know you.
786
00:30:52,938 --> 00:30:54,439
Everybody knows me.
787
00:30:55,908 --> 00:30:57,042
I'm the Wolverine.
788
00:30:57,076 --> 00:30:59,444
Yes, you are.
789
00:30:59,477 --> 00:31:01,579
And I'm gonna need you
to come with me right now.
790
00:31:02,915 --> 00:31:04,315
Look, lady,
I'm not interested.
791
00:31:04,349 --> 00:31:05,750
Really gettin'
into your cups here.
792
00:31:05,784 --> 00:31:07,318
Why would I go with you?
793
00:31:08,286 --> 00:31:10,154
Because, unfortunately,
794
00:31:10,188 --> 00:31:11,522
I need you,
795
00:31:11,556 --> 00:31:15,627
and even more unfortunately,
my entire world needs you.
796
00:31:16,294 --> 00:31:17,863
You two gonna fuck or fight?
797
00:31:21,834 --> 00:31:23,267
You gonna take that from him?
798
00:31:23,301 --> 00:31:24,837
-Yep.
-[scoffs]
799
00:31:24,870 --> 00:31:27,006
I can tell you have a sort
of don't-get-too-close-
800
00:31:27,039 --> 00:31:28,841
I'll-only-break-your-heart
vibe going here,
801
00:31:28,874 --> 00:31:29,908
but every other Wolverine
802
00:31:29,942 --> 00:31:31,242
would've really hurt me
by now.
803
00:31:31,275 --> 00:31:32,477
And I'm sort of
on the tick-tick.
804
00:31:32,510 --> 00:31:33,979
-So, upsy-daisy. Here we go.
-Whoa, whoa.
805
00:31:34,013 --> 00:31:35,047
-Up you go.
-Hey, hey!
806
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,280
I got you, big guy.
807
00:31:37,582 --> 00:31:38,583
Oh.
808
00:31:40,019 --> 00:31:41,219
Whiskey dick of the claws.
809
00:31:41,252 --> 00:31:42,788
It's quite common
in Wolverines over 40.
810
00:31:42,821 --> 00:31:43,789
You don't want this.
811
00:31:43,822 --> 00:31:46,491
You're right. I don't.
And you don't want this.
812
00:31:46,524 --> 00:31:48,093
Unless you wanna
take a deep breath
813
00:31:48,127 --> 00:31:49,327
through your fuckin' forehead,
814
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,562
I suggest you reconsider.
815
00:31:51,596 --> 00:31:52,664
Let's go, peanut.
816
00:31:54,933 --> 00:31:57,069
[laughing]
817
00:31:57,102 --> 00:31:59,170
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
818
00:31:59,704 --> 00:32:00,705
Watch this.
819
00:32:01,706 --> 00:32:03,741
All right. That-- Whoa.
820
00:32:04,143 --> 00:32:05,343
Easy.
821
00:32:08,881 --> 00:32:10,415
Good God.
822
00:32:10,448 --> 00:32:12,450
Thirsty little honey badger,
aren't ya?
823
00:32:13,384 --> 00:32:15,120
It's okay. Keep goin'.
824
00:32:15,154 --> 00:32:17,221
Audiences are accustomed
to long run times.
825
00:32:18,123 --> 00:32:20,525
[grunts, groans]
826
00:32:21,093 --> 00:32:22,560
[body thuds]
827
00:32:22,593 --> 00:32:24,963
[sighs]
Guess you'll have to do.
828
00:32:24,997 --> 00:32:26,197
Okay, here we--
829
00:32:27,166 --> 00:32:30,102
Oh! Look at those jammies.
830
00:32:30,135 --> 00:32:33,504
That only took
20 fucking years.
831
00:32:33,538 --> 00:32:35,774
One Anchor Being
coming right up!
832
00:32:35,808 --> 00:32:38,077
On your left, baby girl.
833
00:32:38,110 --> 00:32:39,210
This Logan has the same
834
00:32:39,243 --> 00:32:41,479
he-can-do-anything-
even-musicals look.
835
00:32:41,512 --> 00:32:43,581
And bonus, he's actually
wearing a costume
836
00:32:43,614 --> 00:32:44,850
like he's not
embarrassed to be
837
00:32:44,883 --> 00:32:46,250
in a superhero movie for once.
838
00:32:46,284 --> 00:32:47,920
I don't understand.
839
00:32:47,953 --> 00:32:49,154
You said my universe is dying
840
00:32:49,188 --> 00:32:51,622
because this sack of nuts
got himself killed.
841
00:32:51,656 --> 00:32:54,292
-Well, problem solved.
- My God.
842
00:32:54,325 --> 00:32:58,730
You actually think you can
replace an Anchor Being
843
00:32:58,764 --> 00:33:00,732
with this?
844
00:33:00,766 --> 00:33:03,334
I wouldn't have accepted
any other Wolverine, BT dubs.
845
00:33:03,367 --> 00:33:05,369
But you have outdone yourself
846
00:33:05,403 --> 00:33:07,605
and brought me
the worst Wolverine!
847
00:33:07,638 --> 00:33:08,874
What do you mean,
the worst one?
848
00:33:08,907 --> 00:33:10,374
Mr. Wilson.
849
00:33:10,408 --> 00:33:14,378
This Wolverine let down
his entire world.
850
00:33:14,412 --> 00:33:16,782
He's the stuff of legend,
but not in a good way.
851
00:33:16,815 --> 00:33:18,050
And what he did,
852
00:33:18,083 --> 00:33:19,450
well,
853
00:33:19,484 --> 00:33:21,787
some things are just
beyond forgiveness.
854
00:33:24,089 --> 00:33:25,423
Okay.
855
00:33:25,456 --> 00:33:28,359
How do I... How do I make
this right? I'll do anything.
856
00:33:28,392 --> 00:33:31,362
I gave you
a chance at greatness.
857
00:33:31,395 --> 00:33:33,999
Because my superiors
deemed you "special."
858
00:33:34,032 --> 00:33:35,500
Clearly not special
in a good way.
859
00:33:35,533 --> 00:33:36,567
Apparently you have some
860
00:33:36,601 --> 00:33:38,771
important future purpose
to serve.
861
00:33:38,804 --> 00:33:39,905
With Thor. He holds me.
862
00:33:39,938 --> 00:33:41,739
But I did my duty.
863
00:33:41,774 --> 00:33:43,809
I gave you the opportunity
to be somebody.
864
00:33:43,842 --> 00:33:45,811
And instead of
accepting my offering
865
00:33:45,844 --> 00:33:48,312
with humility and gratitude,
you broke my nose.
866
00:33:48,346 --> 00:33:49,380
[sighs] It looks great.
867
00:33:49,413 --> 00:33:51,349
And you decimated
dozens of my men
868
00:33:51,382 --> 00:33:52,985
with the exhumed corpse
of a hero.
869
00:33:53,018 --> 00:33:55,353
Dishonoring not only
his remains but his memory.
870
00:33:55,386 --> 00:33:56,721
What are you, the Internet?
871
00:33:56,755 --> 00:33:58,991
Your world is dying!
872
00:33:59,024 --> 00:34:00,391
Thank you very much.
873
00:34:00,424 --> 00:34:01,726
And there's no stopping it.
874
00:34:03,762 --> 00:34:05,463
[muffled]
The humane thing to do
875
00:34:05,496 --> 00:34:06,564
is to make it quick.
876
00:34:06,597 --> 00:34:08,499
Is the thought
of vaporizing my universe
877
00:34:08,533 --> 00:34:09,802
making you peckish?
878
00:34:09,835 --> 00:34:10,969
I'm eating my feelings.
879
00:34:11,003 --> 00:34:12,603
I'm about to lose everything
that I've ever cared about
880
00:34:12,637 --> 00:34:15,808
because that hairy thundercunt
from down undercunt
881
00:34:15,841 --> 00:34:16,775
finally dies,
882
00:34:16,809 --> 00:34:19,410
and he's standing
right behind me, isn't he?
883
00:34:19,443 --> 00:34:21,412
Welcome to the MCU,
by the way.
884
00:34:21,445 --> 00:34:23,614
You're joining at a bit
of a low point.
885
00:34:23,648 --> 00:34:25,683
As for you,
I wanna talk to your boss.
886
00:34:25,716 --> 00:34:27,119
I want you to get him
on the phone
887
00:34:27,152 --> 00:34:29,154
and you tell him,
her, or them,
888
00:34:29,188 --> 00:34:31,489
that Marvel H. Christ
isn't playing.
889
00:34:36,795 --> 00:34:37,796
Holy shit.
890
00:34:38,462 --> 00:34:40,398
I just heard a symphony
891
00:34:40,431 --> 00:34:42,366
of buttholes clenching
all at once.
892
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:43,534
You're off grid.
893
00:34:43,568 --> 00:34:44,970
Your bosses don't know
what you sick fucks
894
00:34:45,003 --> 00:34:46,038
are doing down here.
895
00:34:46,071 --> 00:34:47,239
Well, I'll tell you what.
896
00:34:47,272 --> 00:34:49,208
I have a black belt
in Karen...
897
00:34:49,241 --> 00:34:50,541
And I'm gonna go upstairs
898
00:34:50,575 --> 00:34:52,911
and I'm gonna tell 'em
all about you and your--
899
00:34:53,678 --> 00:34:55,479
Oh, silence is nice, isn't it?
900
00:34:55,513 --> 00:34:56,614
Where the fuck did he go?
901
00:34:56,647 --> 00:34:58,616
To the trash heap.
You'll fit right in.
902
00:34:58,649 --> 00:35:00,252
[growls]
903
00:35:00,285 --> 00:35:01,586
Whew.
904
00:35:01,619 --> 00:35:03,088
That was close. [chuckles]
905
00:35:06,291 --> 00:35:08,726
[muffled rhythmic thumping]
906
00:35:12,331 --> 00:35:14,532
[muffled footsteps thumping]
907
00:35:18,669 --> 00:35:19,905
[groaning]
908
00:35:23,909 --> 00:35:26,477
[Deadpool] Don't just
stand there, you ape.
909
00:35:26,510 --> 00:35:28,546
Give me a hand up.
910
00:35:28,579 --> 00:35:30,481
-[claws clang]
-Nope. I'm actually okay.
911
00:35:30,514 --> 00:35:32,683
-Thank you very much. [groans]
-[Wolverine grunting]
912
00:35:33,718 --> 00:35:34,887
[Wolverine]
Where the hell are we?
913
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,356
[Deadpool] I don't know.
Looks kind of Mad Max-y.
914
00:35:37,388 --> 00:35:39,390
But that would be
IP infringement, right?
915
00:35:39,423 --> 00:35:40,658
Fucking jokes.
916
00:35:40,691 --> 00:35:42,426
-[grunts]
-[Deadpool yelps]
917
00:35:42,460 --> 00:35:44,129
[bones crack]
918
00:35:44,162 --> 00:35:45,563
[Deadpool] Fuck! Fuck.
919
00:35:45,596 --> 00:35:47,065
Were you even listening
back there?
920
00:35:47,099 --> 00:35:50,068
If we don't make it back
to that Mr. Paradox asshole,
921
00:35:50,102 --> 00:35:51,435
everyone I know is gonna die.
922
00:35:51,469 --> 00:35:53,305
Not my fuckin' problem.
923
00:35:53,338 --> 00:35:55,506
Oh, is that all you got?
924
00:35:55,539 --> 00:35:57,742
Is that what you said
when your world went to shit?
925
00:35:58,576 --> 00:36:00,979
[breathing heavily]
Come again?
926
00:36:01,013 --> 00:36:03,015
Yeah, I heard all about you.
927
00:36:03,048 --> 00:36:05,117
How you screwed up everything.
928
00:36:05,150 --> 00:36:06,285
You should be thankin' me
929
00:36:06,318 --> 00:36:07,986
for pulling you out
of that bed you shit in.
930
00:36:08,020 --> 00:36:10,289
[groans] You back-stabbing
son of a bitch!
931
00:36:10,322 --> 00:36:11,622
[yells]
932
00:36:14,793 --> 00:36:16,295
[shouts, groans]
933
00:36:16,328 --> 00:36:17,662
Are you ready to be calm now?
934
00:36:17,695 --> 00:36:19,630
-[grunts]
-[Deadpool yelps]
935
00:36:22,401 --> 00:36:23,601
[groans]
936
00:36:24,803 --> 00:36:27,172
Rest in pieces, Fox. [grunts]
937
00:36:27,205 --> 00:36:30,042
[♪ tense song intro playing,
AC/DC "Hells Bells"]
938
00:36:30,075 --> 00:36:31,777
[bird screeching]
939
00:36:41,987 --> 00:36:43,789
I don't want to fight you,
peanut.
940
00:36:44,756 --> 00:36:46,524
Doesn't matter what you did.
941
00:36:46,557 --> 00:36:48,226
-I just need your help.
-[grunts]
942
00:36:49,493 --> 00:36:51,163
I don't fuckin' care.
943
00:36:52,397 --> 00:36:54,366
Uh... Uh-oh.
944
00:36:54,399 --> 00:36:55,834
[breathes heavily]
945
00:36:59,771 --> 00:37:02,473
Fuck. This is gonna hurt.
946
00:37:06,411 --> 00:37:07,879
All right.
947
00:37:08,146 --> 00:37:09,714
Fuck it.
948
00:37:09,747 --> 00:37:11,649
Let's give the people
what they came for.
949
00:37:11,682 --> 00:37:14,485
-[♪ song stops]
-Let's fuckin' go.
950
00:37:15,420 --> 00:37:17,521
Get your special sock out,
nerds.
951
00:37:17,555 --> 00:37:19,623
It's gonna get good.
952
00:37:20,192 --> 00:37:21,525
[grunts]
953
00:37:26,865 --> 00:37:28,400
[♪ hard rock music playing,
AC/DC "Hells Bells"]
954
00:37:28,433 --> 00:37:29,700
[growls]
955
00:37:30,902 --> 00:37:32,204
[gunshots]
956
00:37:40,611 --> 00:37:42,214
[both grunting]
957
00:37:44,816 --> 00:37:45,817
[groans]
958
00:37:52,391 --> 00:37:53,425
[screams]
959
00:37:53,458 --> 00:37:55,160
♪ Hell's bells♪
960
00:37:57,095 --> 00:37:59,931
♪ I'll give you
black sensations♪
961
00:37:59,965 --> 00:38:02,834
♪ Up and down your spine♪
962
00:38:02,868 --> 00:38:06,405
♪ If you're into evil,
you're a friend of mine♪
963
00:38:06,438 --> 00:38:09,707
♪ See my white light flashing
as I split the night♪
964
00:38:09,740 --> 00:38:11,642
-[grunts, growls]
-[Deadpool chuckles] Ew.
965
00:38:12,477 --> 00:38:13,812
Gotcha!
966
00:38:13,845 --> 00:38:17,681
♪ I got my bell, I'm gonna
take you to hell♪
967
00:38:17,715 --> 00:38:20,118
♪ I'm gonna get you,
Satan get you♪
968
00:38:20,152 --> 00:38:21,719
-Baby Knife!
-[groans]
969
00:38:25,490 --> 00:38:26,624
-[screams]
-Let's see you grow
970
00:38:26,657 --> 00:38:27,826
your fuckin' head back.
971
00:38:27,859 --> 00:38:29,761
Wait, wait, wait!
I can fix it! I can fix it.
972
00:38:29,795 --> 00:38:31,930
-Fix what?
-Whatever it is that you did.
973
00:38:32,663 --> 00:38:34,166
Whatever made you so bad.
974
00:38:34,565 --> 00:38:35,967
Those... Those
975
00:38:36,001 --> 00:38:38,602
pricks in the TVA.
You heard him.
976
00:38:39,603 --> 00:38:40,839
They have the power
to end my universe,
977
00:38:40,872 --> 00:38:44,209
but they also have
the power to change yours.
978
00:38:45,777 --> 00:38:49,014
We get back there,
and we can fix your world.
979
00:38:49,047 --> 00:38:50,215
Together.
980
00:38:51,483 --> 00:38:52,750
I promise.
981
00:38:54,152 --> 00:38:55,353
They can fix it.
982
00:38:56,455 --> 00:38:57,756
[man] Hey!
983
00:38:57,789 --> 00:38:59,891
We fight each other, we lose.
984
00:38:59,925 --> 00:39:01,326
[Deadpool] Dear God, it's him.
985
00:39:01,359 --> 00:39:03,727
-Who?
-[Deadpool] The one.
986
00:39:03,762 --> 00:39:06,664
The superhero equivalent
to comfort food, or Molly.
987
00:39:06,697 --> 00:39:09,334
White guys' answer
to all the disappointments.
988
00:39:09,367 --> 00:39:10,668
And another A-lister.
989
00:39:10,701 --> 00:39:12,104
Fair warning, gorgeous.
990
00:39:12,137 --> 00:39:14,206
You're going to encounter
some indelicate language,
991
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:16,775
a smidge of ass play,
but we've been prohibited
992
00:39:16,808 --> 00:39:18,676
from using cocaine. On camera.
993
00:39:18,709 --> 00:39:20,946
-[man] They're coming.
-[Deadpool] Who's "they"?
994
00:39:20,979 --> 00:39:23,348
-[engines revving]
-[♪ menacing music playing]
995
00:39:27,618 --> 00:39:29,154
Oh, they're driving angry.
996
00:39:34,126 --> 00:39:34,960
[grunts]
997
00:39:34,993 --> 00:39:36,862
Now that's
a superhero landing.
998
00:39:36,895 --> 00:39:39,097
[♪ menacing music continues]
999
00:39:42,601 --> 00:39:44,002
[♪ music stops]
1000
00:39:44,035 --> 00:39:45,237
I got this.
1001
00:39:45,270 --> 00:39:47,272
[♪ menacing music resumes]
1002
00:39:51,610 --> 00:39:52,811
[sniffs]
1003
00:39:57,549 --> 00:39:58,984
[engines revving]
1004
00:40:08,994 --> 00:40:10,228
Stay close.
1005
00:40:10,262 --> 00:40:11,396
[Deadpool] Aye, aye, Cap'n.
1006
00:40:12,696 --> 00:40:13,899
You got this.
1007
00:40:15,967 --> 00:40:19,703
Cassandra is gonna be giddy
when she sees what we caught.
1008
00:40:20,539 --> 00:40:21,640
You can't run.
1009
00:40:21,705 --> 00:40:22,941
Everybody knows that.
1010
00:40:22,974 --> 00:40:26,144
You see anyone runnin',
dick for brains?
1011
00:40:26,178 --> 00:40:28,013
You're not gonna love
what happens next.
1012
00:40:28,046 --> 00:40:30,048
-[Deadpool] Oh. Oh, my God.
-[♪ rousing music playing]
1013
00:40:30,081 --> 00:40:32,384
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, he's gonna say it.
1014
00:40:32,417 --> 00:40:33,451
-Ah! Fuck.
-[Deadpool] Ha!
1015
00:40:33,485 --> 00:40:35,020
Oh, my God! He's gonna say it!
1016
00:40:35,053 --> 00:40:36,788
-Say what?
-Avengers, assemble...
1017
00:40:36,821 --> 00:40:38,256
-Flame on!
-I'm sorry, what now?
1018
00:40:40,659 --> 00:40:42,861
[♪ epic music playing]
1019
00:40:54,406 --> 00:40:56,208
[groans, panting]
1020
00:40:57,876 --> 00:41:00,178
[screaming in distance]
1021
00:41:00,212 --> 00:41:01,580
-[clang]
-Ohh!
1022
00:41:01,613 --> 00:41:02,948
Fuck!
1023
00:41:02,981 --> 00:41:03,982
Ahhh!
1024
00:41:04,549 --> 00:41:05,749
[grunts]
1025
00:41:06,918 --> 00:41:09,221
-We don't know that guy.
-[Deadpool] We thought we did.
1026
00:41:09,254 --> 00:41:11,323
I know you.
1027
00:41:11,356 --> 00:41:13,391
-[Deadpool] Holy sh--
-[Sabretooth snarls]
1028
00:41:14,025 --> 00:41:15,060
[growls]
1029
00:41:15,093 --> 00:41:16,094
Sabretooth.
1030
00:41:16,528 --> 00:41:17,728
Your brother.
1031
00:41:18,463 --> 00:41:20,232
Ready to die?
1032
00:41:20,265 --> 00:41:22,968
[Deadpool] Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait! Time!
1033
00:41:23,535 --> 00:41:25,136
You look ridiculous.
1034
00:41:25,170 --> 00:41:27,872
People have waited decades
for this fight.
1035
00:41:27,906 --> 00:41:29,740
It's not gonna be easy.
Baby Knife.
1036
00:41:29,774 --> 00:41:31,676
Shoot the double,
you take him down.
1037
00:41:31,710 --> 00:41:33,812
Side control, then full mount,
1038
00:41:33,845 --> 00:41:35,213
and you ground and pound
1039
00:41:35,247 --> 00:41:36,915
till he makes no sound
because he's dead.
1040
00:41:36,948 --> 00:41:38,917
-Shut the fuck up!
-[Deadpool] Oh, my God!
1041
00:41:38,950 --> 00:41:41,386
Okay. Good luck.
I'm a huge fan.
1042
00:41:41,419 --> 00:41:42,921
[breathing heavily]
1043
00:41:44,422 --> 00:41:45,457
[laughs]
1044
00:41:46,558 --> 00:41:47,993
[roars]
1045
00:41:48,026 --> 00:41:49,427
[roars]
1046
00:41:53,431 --> 00:41:54,966
-[gurgling]
-[Deadpool] What is it, girl?
1047
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,901
-Is there trouble at the well?
-[flesh squelching]
1048
00:42:01,740 --> 00:42:03,408
[laughs] Big trouble.
1049
00:42:03,441 --> 00:42:05,110
Behold!
1050
00:42:05,143 --> 00:42:08,346
The head
of your precious queen,
1051
00:42:08,380 --> 00:42:09,381
Furiosa!
1052
00:42:10,515 --> 00:42:12,350
I have the Wolverine!
1053
00:42:12,384 --> 00:42:15,553
I alone control her!
1054
00:42:15,587 --> 00:42:17,889
You come for me,
1055
00:42:17,922 --> 00:42:20,425
you come for her.
1056
00:42:22,027 --> 00:42:23,928
So sorry.
I know it's pronounced "him."
1057
00:42:23,962 --> 00:42:25,830
I'm gender blind.
It's my cross to bear.
1058
00:42:25,864 --> 00:42:27,299
Who's next?
1059
00:42:27,332 --> 00:42:28,466
-Toad!
-[snarls]
1060
00:42:28,500 --> 00:42:29,801
You're up.
1061
00:42:32,404 --> 00:42:33,672
[yells]
1062
00:42:33,705 --> 00:42:34,906
[both grunt]
1063
00:42:36,808 --> 00:42:37,842
[Deadpool] Uh-oh.
1064
00:42:37,876 --> 00:42:39,244
-Oh, holy sh--
-Fuck.
1065
00:42:39,277 --> 00:42:40,278
[thud]
1066
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:43,581
[creatures squeaking]
1067
00:42:47,986 --> 00:42:49,988
[Deadpool groans, mumbles]
1068
00:42:50,588 --> 00:42:52,090
[Deadpool] God of Thunder.
1069
00:42:53,625 --> 00:42:54,826
[Deadpool grunts]
1070
00:42:55,894 --> 00:42:57,429
How long was I asleep?
1071
00:42:57,462 --> 00:42:59,097
Not all of you was asleep.
1072
00:42:59,130 --> 00:43:00,732
-[Deadpool grunts]
-Don't bother.
1073
00:43:00,766 --> 00:43:03,034
They're very thorough.
1074
00:43:03,068 --> 00:43:05,303
If you know where we are,
start talking.
1075
00:43:05,904 --> 00:43:07,572
You're in The Void.
1076
00:43:07,605 --> 00:43:09,708
Think of it as purgatory.
1077
00:43:09,741 --> 00:43:12,077
Reed called it
a metaphysical junkyard.
1078
00:43:12,110 --> 00:43:13,678
Where anything useless goes
1079
00:43:13,712 --> 00:43:15,914
before it gets
annihilated forever.
1080
00:43:15,947 --> 00:43:18,784
And where the TVA sends
people that don't play nice
1081
00:43:18,818 --> 00:43:19,951
with the rest
of the multiverse.
1082
00:43:19,984 --> 00:43:21,720
-Like you?
-And you.
1083
00:43:21,754 --> 00:43:23,254
[Deadpool] What does
the annihilating?
1084
00:43:23,722 --> 00:43:24,757
Alioth.
1085
00:43:24,790 --> 00:43:26,224
[Deadpool]
Alioth is in this thing?
1086
00:43:26,257 --> 00:43:28,326
From Loki,
Season 1, Episode 5?
1087
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,528
Everyone here
is on the run from Alioth.
1088
00:43:31,062 --> 00:43:32,731
Most don't make it.
1089
00:43:32,765 --> 00:43:34,800
There's a resistance, though.
1090
00:43:34,834 --> 00:43:37,869
Other people like us
that managed to survive.
1091
00:43:37,902 --> 00:43:39,270
They're hidin' out
in the borderlands,
1092
00:43:39,304 --> 00:43:41,774
trying to find a way
the fuck outta here.
1093
00:43:41,807 --> 00:43:43,174
Then that's where we go.
1094
00:43:43,208 --> 00:43:45,176
[Deadpool] "We"? Us? A team?
1095
00:43:45,210 --> 00:43:47,245
The answer is yes.
Shake on it.
1096
00:43:47,847 --> 00:43:49,080
Fuck! You nicked it.
1097
00:43:49,114 --> 00:43:51,149
Just got the tip with
your little steak knife.
1098
00:43:51,182 --> 00:43:53,351
These "others" can help us
get back to the TVA.
1099
00:43:53,385 --> 00:43:54,419
Make 'em fix things.
1100
00:43:54,452 --> 00:43:56,621
[laughs sardonically]
1101
00:43:56,654 --> 00:43:58,123
Something funny, bub?
1102
00:43:58,156 --> 00:43:59,924
She might have somethin'
to say about that.
1103
00:43:59,958 --> 00:44:01,226
Who's "she"?
1104
00:44:02,494 --> 00:44:03,695
In The Void,
1105
00:44:03,728 --> 00:44:05,463
you're either food for Alioth
1106
00:44:06,097 --> 00:44:08,133
or you work for her.
1107
00:44:08,166 --> 00:44:10,368
[♪ stirring music playing]
1108
00:44:20,278 --> 00:44:21,346
[engine roars]
1109
00:44:29,789 --> 00:44:31,156
[metal creaking]
1110
00:44:31,956 --> 00:44:33,391
[heavy metallic thud]
1111
00:44:40,833 --> 00:44:42,500
[engine roaring]
1112
00:44:53,645 --> 00:44:55,980
[♪ tense music playing]
1113
00:45:04,956 --> 00:45:06,424
[grunts]
1114
00:45:06,458 --> 00:45:07,625
[growls quietly]
1115
00:45:08,426 --> 00:45:09,427
[grunts]
1116
00:45:20,472 --> 00:45:23,508
[Deadpool] Huh.
Paul Rudd finally aged.
1117
00:45:23,541 --> 00:45:25,310
Oh, you must be
this year's Juggernaut.
1118
00:45:25,343 --> 00:45:27,078
-Thank you.
-I'd keep your voices down.
1119
00:45:27,111 --> 00:45:28,513
She don't like the chatter.
1120
00:45:28,546 --> 00:45:29,747
She's gonna love you.
1121
00:45:31,149 --> 00:45:33,351
[♪ slow dramatic
music building]
1122
00:45:45,865 --> 00:45:47,599
[Deadpool] Is it...
Is that Charles?
1123
00:45:47,632 --> 00:45:49,869
Hey... Hey, Chuck! It's us!
1124
00:45:49,902 --> 00:45:51,236
That's not Chuck.
1125
00:45:51,269 --> 00:45:52,470
Ah, shit.
1126
00:45:53,839 --> 00:45:55,340
[Deadpool] Oh, ableism. Great.
1127
00:45:55,373 --> 00:45:57,877
That's not gonna go over well
with the woke mob.
1128
00:45:57,910 --> 00:45:59,945
A Wolverine.
1129
00:45:59,979 --> 00:46:02,413
I wondered when
I'd get one of you.
1130
00:46:03,014 --> 00:46:04,249
You're one of Xavier's.
1131
00:46:04,282 --> 00:46:05,951
[Deadpool] You-You know him?
You know Chuck?
1132
00:46:05,985 --> 00:46:07,452
Oh, I knew him.
1133
00:46:07,485 --> 00:46:08,888
We shared a womb.
1134
00:46:08,921 --> 00:46:11,089
Tried to strangle
the sly little fellow
1135
00:46:11,122 --> 00:46:12,557
with my umbilical cord.
1136
00:46:12,590 --> 00:46:16,027
[Deadpool] Amen. I've never
loved roommates. Mine's blind.
1137
00:46:16,060 --> 00:46:17,729
Except she can see cocaine.
1138
00:46:17,763 --> 00:46:19,197
For some... reason.
1139
00:46:19,230 --> 00:46:22,367
You want to chime in,
Your Majesty? I'm dying here.
1140
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:23,401
Who are you?
1141
00:46:23,434 --> 00:46:26,437
Charles Xavier's twin,
Cassandra Nova.
1142
00:46:26,471 --> 00:46:28,106
-Bullshit!
-I was an anal birth.
1143
00:46:28,139 --> 00:46:30,876
Hmm. You two are cute.
1144
00:46:30,910 --> 00:46:32,443
I have a good feeling
about this.
1145
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:36,381
And I've been trying to catch
1146
00:46:36,414 --> 00:46:38,483
this little firefly for years.
1147
00:46:39,117 --> 00:46:40,786
Haven't I, Johnny?
1148
00:46:40,819 --> 00:46:44,188
Aw... You picked the wrong
time to make new friends.
1149
00:46:44,222 --> 00:46:46,591
[Deadpool] Oh, Johnny told us
all about you.
1150
00:46:46,624 --> 00:46:48,159
-Maybe shut up now.
-Yeah, maybe don't--
1151
00:46:48,192 --> 00:46:49,260
[Deadpool]
We're just talkin' here.
1152
00:46:49,294 --> 00:46:50,428
Yeah, Johnny told us
1153
00:46:50,461 --> 00:46:52,630
you're a psychotic
megalomaniacal asshole.
1154
00:46:52,664 --> 00:46:56,301
His words, not mine.
Hellbent on domination
and pain.
1155
00:46:57,268 --> 00:46:58,837
You said all that about me?
1156
00:46:58,871 --> 00:47:00,572
No! No! I don't...
1157
00:47:00,605 --> 00:47:02,841
-I didn't say any of that!
-Sticks and stones, Johnny!
1158
00:47:04,342 --> 00:47:06,344
Don't let her intimidate you.
1159
00:47:06,377 --> 00:47:08,246
It's like you said
in the convoy.
1160
00:47:08,279 --> 00:47:10,214
This finger-lickin'
dead-inside
1161
00:47:10,248 --> 00:47:13,151
pixie slab of third rate
dime-store nut-milk
1162
00:47:13,184 --> 00:47:15,020
can eat your delicious
cinnamon ring
1163
00:47:15,054 --> 00:47:17,155
and kick rocks
all the way to bald hell.
1164
00:47:17,188 --> 00:47:19,257
Okay. I have never said
any of those words
1165
00:47:19,290 --> 00:47:21,426
-in my entire life!
-[Deadpool] Ha! The modesty.
1166
00:47:21,459 --> 00:47:23,461
People think
I'm a shit talker.
1167
00:47:23,494 --> 00:47:24,596
But this guy...
1168
00:47:24,629 --> 00:47:25,730
[smooches] Next level.
1169
00:47:25,764 --> 00:47:27,900
What? This... I... We...
1170
00:47:27,933 --> 00:47:29,267
I don't even know
what half of that means!
1171
00:47:29,300 --> 00:47:31,036
-This... I...
-My hat's off to you, sir.
1172
00:47:31,070 --> 00:47:32,103
-Truly.
-What? This...
1173
00:47:32,136 --> 00:47:34,105
I didn't... He's...
That's... I...
1174
00:47:34,138 --> 00:47:35,774
I... I don't--
1175
00:47:35,808 --> 00:47:37,709
-[Deadpool gasps]
-[heart beats]
1176
00:47:40,846 --> 00:47:41,947
[Deadpool]
Not my favorite Chris.
1177
00:47:41,981 --> 00:47:43,348
You stupid piece of shit.
1178
00:47:43,381 --> 00:47:44,449
You just got him
fucking killed!
1179
00:47:44,482 --> 00:47:46,351
[Deadpool] Hey!
We're all grieving!
1180
00:47:46,384 --> 00:47:48,653
PS, do you know what
he was doing to the budget?
1181
00:47:48,686 --> 00:47:49,888
[shushing]
1182
00:47:51,189 --> 00:47:53,759
Alioth is hungry.
1183
00:47:53,792 --> 00:47:55,460
[Deadpool] There's been
some kind of mistake.
1184
00:47:55,493 --> 00:47:57,462
Big yellow is
a back-up Anchor Being,
1185
00:47:57,495 --> 00:48:00,131
and I'm Marvel Jesus.
MJ, if you're nasty.
1186
00:48:00,164 --> 00:48:01,199
This may be hard to hear,
1187
00:48:01,232 --> 00:48:02,935
but there's
another British villain
1188
00:48:02,968 --> 00:48:04,069
who's gonna destroy
my universe,
1189
00:48:04,103 --> 00:48:05,236
and I'm gonna stop him.
1190
00:48:05,269 --> 00:48:06,772
Oh, honey,
you don't really strike me
1191
00:48:06,805 --> 00:48:08,439
as the world-saving type.
1192
00:48:09,374 --> 00:48:10,809
[thunder rumbling in distance]
1193
00:48:10,843 --> 00:48:12,677
Did I hit a nerve?
1194
00:48:12,710 --> 00:48:14,412
[Deadpool] I didn't want it
to come to this.
1195
00:48:15,047 --> 00:48:16,081
Either you help us
1196
00:48:16,115 --> 00:48:17,448
or my friend here
is gonna sing
1197
00:48:17,482 --> 00:48:19,283
the entire second act
of Music Man
1198
00:48:19,317 --> 00:48:20,551
with zero warm-up.
1199
00:48:21,252 --> 00:48:22,520
Where'd you get the chair?
1200
00:48:22,553 --> 00:48:23,588
[Cassandra Nova]
Well, once in a while,
1201
00:48:23,621 --> 00:48:25,657
I do get a Charles
through here.
1202
00:48:25,690 --> 00:48:27,092
Never mine, though.
1203
00:48:27,126 --> 00:48:30,294
No. He didn't care to find me.
1204
00:48:30,328 --> 00:48:33,899
[Deadpool groans] Gen Z
and their trauma-bragging!
1205
00:48:33,932 --> 00:48:36,869
Can't you just stuff it down,
turn it into accomplishment
1206
00:48:36,902 --> 00:48:38,503
or cancer like the rest of us?
1207
00:48:38,536 --> 00:48:40,371
But I'm not like
the rest of you.
1208
00:48:40,405 --> 00:48:42,340
Except maybe the Wolverine.
1209
00:48:42,373 --> 00:48:45,010
Now, we could be
truly terrifying together.
1210
00:48:45,044 --> 00:48:46,344
You're that scary, huh?
1211
00:48:46,377 --> 00:48:48,680
The TVA certainly thought so.
1212
00:48:48,713 --> 00:48:51,349
They sent me here
before I could walk.
1213
00:48:51,382 --> 00:48:52,851
And you know,
it's the best thing
1214
00:48:52,885 --> 00:48:54,652
that ever happened to me.
1215
00:48:54,686 --> 00:48:55,553
I love it here.
1216
00:48:55,586 --> 00:48:56,922
[Deadpool] You live
in a garbage dump.
1217
00:48:56,955 --> 00:49:00,324
I think we both know who lives
in the garbage dump.
1218
00:49:00,358 --> 00:49:02,193
The Void is a paradise.
1219
00:49:02,226 --> 00:49:06,330
I can wield my power here
without shame.
1220
00:49:06,364 --> 00:49:08,332
Unfortunately I had
no Charles Xavier
1221
00:49:08,366 --> 00:49:10,334
to teach me temperance.
1222
00:49:10,368 --> 00:49:12,336
What about your Charles?
1223
00:49:12,370 --> 00:49:13,671
Did he protect you?
1224
00:49:14,305 --> 00:49:16,474
Did he make you feel safe?
1225
00:49:16,507 --> 00:49:18,443
We're mutants.
We're never safe.
1226
00:49:18,476 --> 00:49:20,879
-[roars]
-[Cassandra whoops]
1227
00:49:21,212 --> 00:49:22,413
[chuckles]
1228
00:49:22,781 --> 00:49:23,849
[whoops]
1229
00:49:26,551 --> 00:49:27,585
[Deadpool] Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
1230
00:49:27,618 --> 00:49:29,387
I don't...
I don't want the smoke.
1231
00:49:29,420 --> 00:49:30,588
I don't have
any beef with you.
1232
00:49:30,621 --> 00:49:32,223
I just want
to save my friends.
1233
00:49:32,256 --> 00:49:33,524
I just... I want to go home.
1234
00:49:33,558 --> 00:49:35,393
Well, the thing is,
I could get you home.
1235
00:49:35,426 --> 00:49:37,196
-Good.
-But I don't want to.
1236
00:49:37,228 --> 00:49:39,497
[Deadpool] Not good.
[groaning]
1237
00:49:41,900 --> 00:49:44,435
What do you want, Wade Wilson?
1238
00:49:44,469 --> 00:49:46,972
[Deadpool straining] Your...
fingers are inside me,
1239
00:49:47,005 --> 00:49:48,239
but not in a good way.
1240
00:49:48,272 --> 00:49:51,242
My brother could enter
one's mind with a thought.
1241
00:49:51,275 --> 00:49:53,578
I have to get my hands dirty.
1242
00:49:53,611 --> 00:49:55,914
-[Deadpool groaning]
-[shushing]
1243
00:49:56,647 --> 00:49:57,916
I've got you.
1244
00:50:00,251 --> 00:50:01,652
[whispers] I've got you...
1245
00:50:04,056 --> 00:50:05,289
[Wade, muffled]
What do you mean?
1246
00:50:06,925 --> 00:50:09,762
I can't... I can't reach you.
You're not here.
1247
00:50:09,795 --> 00:50:11,462
I'm right here.
1248
00:50:11,496 --> 00:50:14,465
-No, you're not. I can't...
-I'm right here.
1249
00:50:14,499 --> 00:50:16,701
Then show me.
You got to do something.
1250
00:50:17,936 --> 00:50:19,370
Show you what?
1251
00:50:19,403 --> 00:50:23,274
Show me you care about
something bigger than you.
1252
00:50:23,307 --> 00:50:27,345
Ever since they turned you
down, you took a knee.
1253
00:50:28,013 --> 00:50:29,982
Baby, you never got back up.
1254
00:50:32,151 --> 00:50:34,019
I know you're
going through something.
1255
00:50:34,052 --> 00:50:36,922
Let me go through it with you.
1256
00:50:36,955 --> 00:50:39,357
-Your crazy matches my crazy.
-Your crazy matches my crazy.
1257
00:50:42,460 --> 00:50:43,862
Where'd you go?
1258
00:50:44,362 --> 00:50:45,831
[Wade] Oh, my God.
1259
00:50:47,199 --> 00:50:48,801
[♪ melancholy music playing]
1260
00:50:48,834 --> 00:50:50,535
You just say it. Okay?
1261
00:50:51,236 --> 00:50:52,271
Say, "I don't want you.
1262
00:50:52,303 --> 00:50:54,739
"I don't want to be with you."
1263
00:50:54,773 --> 00:50:56,241
Go ahead. Say it.
Say... Say, "I don't..."
1264
00:50:56,275 --> 00:50:57,708
Say it.
You don't wanna be with me.
1265
00:50:57,742 --> 00:50:59,211
Tell me that
and I'll walk away.
1266
00:50:59,244 --> 00:51:00,279
Say, "I don't want you."
1267
00:51:00,311 --> 00:51:02,613
[♪ melancholy music continues]
1268
00:51:06,450 --> 00:51:08,120
[sighs] Fuck...
1269
00:51:08,153 --> 00:51:10,789
You'll never fucking matter.
1270
00:51:14,692 --> 00:51:16,527
What?
1271
00:51:16,561 --> 00:51:19,363
-You'll never fucking matter.
-Fucking matter.
1272
00:51:19,397 --> 00:51:21,732
[♪ melancholy music continues]
1273
00:51:25,304 --> 00:51:27,940
-[Vanessa] You'll...
-[Cassandra] You'll...
1274
00:51:27,973 --> 00:51:29,908
-never...
-never...
1275
00:51:29,942 --> 00:51:31,176
-fucking...
-fucking...
1276
00:51:31,210 --> 00:51:34,046
-matter.
-matter...
1277
00:51:36,081 --> 00:51:37,415
[Deadpool]
She never said that.
1278
00:51:37,448 --> 00:51:38,549
-[Cassandra] No.
-[groans]
1279
00:51:38,583 --> 00:51:40,518
[in mocking tone]
But I bet she thought it.
1280
00:51:40,551 --> 00:51:41,586
[Deadpool splutters]
1281
00:51:41,619 --> 00:51:44,355
[Deadpool groans]
You are so mean!
1282
00:51:44,388 --> 00:51:45,523
My brain could taste
your fingers,
1283
00:51:45,556 --> 00:51:47,692
and they tasted like hate!
1284
00:51:47,725 --> 00:51:50,428
And where in God's name
is the intimacy coordinator?
1285
00:51:50,461 --> 00:51:53,265
You're so lost, Mr. Wilson.
1286
00:51:53,298 --> 00:51:55,700
And long before you came here.
1287
00:51:57,102 --> 00:51:58,136
This is Baby Knife.
1288
00:51:58,170 --> 00:51:59,437
She's gonna fuck you
in the face now.
1289
00:51:59,470 --> 00:52:00,738
If you want to kill me,
1290
00:52:00,772 --> 00:52:02,640
it's going to take
more than a little blade.
1291
00:52:02,673 --> 00:52:04,475
[Deadpool] How about six?
1292
00:52:04,508 --> 00:52:08,180
[laughs mockingly]
My boy's wicked strong.
1293
00:52:08,213 --> 00:52:09,848
That's my big boy.
1294
00:52:09,882 --> 00:52:11,350
Yes, you are.
1295
00:52:11,382 --> 00:52:12,650
[groans]
1296
00:52:13,318 --> 00:52:14,518
[laughs]
1297
00:52:17,421 --> 00:52:18,991
[Cassandra]
Well, this has been fun.
1298
00:52:19,024 --> 00:52:21,293
But the big guy needs to eat,
and the rent is due.
1299
00:52:21,326 --> 00:52:23,061
-[eerie roar]
-[thunder roaring]
1300
00:52:24,729 --> 00:52:25,764
By the way,
1301
00:52:25,797 --> 00:52:27,232
you're the rent.
1302
00:52:27,266 --> 00:52:29,467
[rumbling]
1303
00:52:37,209 --> 00:52:38,542
[roars]
1304
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:42,915
[henchmen screaming]
1305
00:52:46,417 --> 00:52:49,254
-[electrical whine]
-Come on! Fuck!
1306
00:52:49,288 --> 00:52:50,454
-[engine starts]
-You comin' or what?
1307
00:52:50,488 --> 00:52:51,689
[Deadpool] Coming!
1308
00:53:01,900 --> 00:53:04,102
[engine sputtering
in distance]
1309
00:53:06,805 --> 00:53:08,506
-[distant scream]
-[engine bursts]
1310
00:53:08,974 --> 00:53:10,309
[grunting]
1311
00:53:10,342 --> 00:53:11,642
[both groan]
1312
00:53:11,676 --> 00:53:12,743
What you thinkin' 'bout?
1313
00:53:12,778 --> 00:53:14,445
-Get the fuck off of me!
-Shh, shh, shh.
1314
00:53:14,478 --> 00:53:16,580
-[strains] Almost done.
-Almost done what?
1315
00:53:16,614 --> 00:53:18,516
Getting my knife out
of your buttocks,
1316
00:53:18,549 --> 00:53:20,285
-pervert!
-Aah! Fuck!
1317
00:53:20,319 --> 00:53:22,187
Get your mind out of my pants!
1318
00:53:22,220 --> 00:53:24,555
-I'm telling Blake.
-New rules.
1319
00:53:24,923 --> 00:53:25,791
I talk now.
1320
00:53:25,824 --> 00:53:27,359
That's gonna be very hard
on the audience.
1321
00:53:27,392 --> 00:53:29,995
Shut the fuck up!
1322
00:53:30,028 --> 00:53:31,029
Let me fuckin' think.
1323
00:53:31,063 --> 00:53:33,131
Now we gotta get back
to Paradox, right?
1324
00:53:35,067 --> 00:53:36,667
Right?
1325
00:53:36,701 --> 00:53:38,904
Je m'excuse. Am I allowed
to speak now or--
1326
00:53:38,937 --> 00:53:41,206
Just nod, asshole.
1327
00:53:42,908 --> 00:53:43,909
Right.
1328
00:53:43,942 --> 00:53:45,476
Then we find the others
that poor kid, Johnny,
1329
00:53:45,509 --> 00:53:46,744
was talking about
before you got him killed!
1330
00:53:46,778 --> 00:53:48,579
[Deadpool] "Poor kid."
He's, like, 50!
1331
00:53:48,612 --> 00:53:49,647
Yeah, if there's
a chance they know
1332
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:51,316
how to get out of here,
we find 'em.
1333
00:53:51,350 --> 00:53:53,318
And make those TVA fuckers
fix my shit
1334
00:53:53,352 --> 00:53:54,652
like you fucking promised!
1335
00:53:54,685 --> 00:53:56,154
[Deadpool] I smell quest.
1336
00:53:56,188 --> 00:53:57,688
[sniffing]
1337
00:53:58,957 --> 00:53:59,958
I smell food.
1338
00:54:03,095 --> 00:54:06,765
So what made you finally wear
an honest-to-God costume?
1339
00:54:08,333 --> 00:54:10,501
Mine's red
so they can't see me bleed.
1340
00:54:10,534 --> 00:54:13,372
But I could see how
yellow would be useful too.
1341
00:54:13,405 --> 00:54:15,040
Have you been checked
for ADHD?
1342
00:54:15,073 --> 00:54:16,375
Mm-mm.
1343
00:54:16,408 --> 00:54:18,509
But I've had several STDs,
1344
00:54:18,542 --> 00:54:20,711
which were probably caused
by ADHD.
1345
00:54:20,745 --> 00:54:21,813
Fuck!
1346
00:54:22,713 --> 00:54:24,316
What are you looking for?
1347
00:54:24,349 --> 00:54:25,917
Oh. Thank fuck.
1348
00:54:26,985 --> 00:54:28,854
No, no, no, no, no.
That's rubbing alcohol.
1349
00:54:28,887 --> 00:54:30,389
You don't want to drink--
Oh, yeah.
1350
00:54:30,422 --> 00:54:31,823
There you go. Fuck that liver.
1351
00:54:32,224 --> 00:54:33,258
[exhales]
1352
00:54:33,291 --> 00:54:35,160
-Good. Okay.
-[sighs]
1353
00:54:36,194 --> 00:54:37,295
What the fuck are those?
1354
00:54:37,929 --> 00:54:38,797
Oh.
1355
00:54:38,830 --> 00:54:40,766
Back in civilian life,
I wear a toupee,
1356
00:54:40,799 --> 00:54:42,501
but nobody knows. [chuckles]
1357
00:54:42,533 --> 00:54:43,802
[laughing]
1358
00:54:44,936 --> 00:54:46,537
Everybody knows.
1359
00:54:48,974 --> 00:54:50,541
Wanna talk about
what's haunting you,
1360
00:54:50,574 --> 00:54:52,811
or should we wait
for a third act flashback?
1361
00:54:52,844 --> 00:54:54,946
Ah... Go fuck yourself.
1362
00:54:58,216 --> 00:54:59,217
You know...
1363
00:55:00,786 --> 00:55:03,121
in my world, you're...
[clears throat]
1364
00:55:04,356 --> 00:55:05,556
You're well regarded.
1365
00:55:05,589 --> 00:55:07,225
Yeah, well, not in mine.
1366
00:55:08,193 --> 00:55:10,128
They don't like me much
in mine either.
1367
00:55:10,162 --> 00:55:11,562
You don't say.
1368
00:55:11,595 --> 00:55:13,664
I wanted to be something,
you know. I...
1369
00:55:14,533 --> 00:55:16,268
Shit, I wanted
to be an Avenger.
1370
00:55:16,301 --> 00:55:18,702
-Fuck the Avengers.
-Yeah.
1371
00:55:18,736 --> 00:55:21,006
I didn't make the cut, though.
Same with the X-Men...
1372
00:55:22,941 --> 00:55:24,009
When my girlfriend left me,
1373
00:55:24,042 --> 00:55:25,609
-and I just--
-You had a girlfriend?
1374
00:55:25,977 --> 00:55:27,012
Yeah.
1375
00:55:27,412 --> 00:55:28,780
Vanessa.
1376
00:55:28,814 --> 00:55:30,348
When we met, she was a dancer.
1377
00:55:31,516 --> 00:55:32,716
We had a whole life.
1378
00:55:33,952 --> 00:55:35,554
It was good.
1379
00:55:35,586 --> 00:55:37,789
But, oh, boy, I just... Mwah.
1380
00:55:38,857 --> 00:55:40,658
Fucked that right up.
1381
00:55:41,359 --> 00:55:42,494
But you,
1382
00:55:42,527 --> 00:55:43,862
you were an X-Man.
1383
00:55:43,895 --> 00:55:45,964
Fuck that.
You were the X-Man. You...
1384
00:55:47,698 --> 00:55:49,034
The Wolverine.
1385
00:55:51,336 --> 00:55:52,971
He was a hero in my world.
1386
00:55:54,738 --> 00:55:55,941
Yeah, well...
1387
00:55:57,109 --> 00:55:58,243
he ain't shit in mine.
1388
00:56:03,681 --> 00:56:06,284
You said, "Logan was a hero."
What happened?
1389
00:56:07,185 --> 00:56:08,186
He died.
1390
00:56:08,854 --> 00:56:10,188
How?
1391
00:56:10,222 --> 00:56:12,824
Well, technically,
you were chest-fucked
by a tree, but,
1392
00:56:12,858 --> 00:56:14,625
really, you just
ran out of batteries
1393
00:56:14,658 --> 00:56:16,895
-trying to save someone.
-Who?
1394
00:56:16,928 --> 00:56:18,797
The shitheels
that grew her in a lab
1395
00:56:18,830 --> 00:56:20,365
called her "X-23." But...
1396
00:56:21,166 --> 00:56:22,868
she was just a kid.
1397
00:56:22,901 --> 00:56:26,538
A younger, daintier,
somehow meaner version of you.
1398
00:56:26,571 --> 00:56:28,340
You died trying to save her.
1399
00:56:28,373 --> 00:56:29,841
It was beautiful.
1400
00:56:29,875 --> 00:56:32,844
Look, mijo,
I know you're hurtin'.
1401
00:56:32,878 --> 00:56:35,280
My blind, elderly,
African-American roommate,
1402
00:56:35,313 --> 00:56:38,550
Blind Al, always says that
pain teaches us who we are.
1403
00:56:38,583 --> 00:56:40,252
Sometimes we need to listen
to that pain
1404
00:56:40,285 --> 00:56:41,319
instead of running from it.
1405
00:56:41,353 --> 00:56:42,988
-Holy shit.
-Yeah, she's wise.
1406
00:56:43,021 --> 00:56:45,624
No, no, no. That's her name?
You call her "Blind Al"?
1407
00:56:45,656 --> 00:56:46,858
Well, she's blind.
1408
00:56:47,292 --> 00:56:48,527
[dog barking]
1409
00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:51,662
[♪ ballad music plays, Chris
de Burgh "The Lady in Red"]
1410
00:56:58,637 --> 00:57:03,241
♪ I've never seen you looking
so lovely as you did tonight ♪
1411
00:57:03,275 --> 00:57:08,880
♪ I've never seen you shine
so bright, mm-hmm, hmm♪
1412
00:57:09,781 --> 00:57:13,451
♪ The lady in red♪
1413
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:18,689
♪ Is dancing with me♪
1414
00:57:19,891 --> 00:57:21,960
♪ Cheek to cheek♪
1415
00:57:21,993 --> 00:57:24,362
♪ There's nobody here...♪
1416
00:57:24,396 --> 00:57:25,696
Look at you!
1417
00:57:25,729 --> 00:57:26,831
She's coming with us.
1418
00:57:26,865 --> 00:57:28,767
-No, she's not. Fuck no!
-Oh, yes, she is.
1419
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:30,202
-Oh, yes--
-[man] Sorry!
1420
00:57:30,235 --> 00:57:32,938
-[♪ song stops]
-Sorry about that!
1421
00:57:32,971 --> 00:57:35,207
Come here, girl! [chuckles]
1422
00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:36,508
Who are you?
1423
00:57:36,541 --> 00:57:37,876
Oh, I'm Deadpool.
1424
00:57:37,909 --> 00:57:39,678
And I guess
you're Deadpool too.
1425
00:57:39,710 --> 00:57:41,780
But in here, everybody
calls me "Nicepool."
1426
00:57:41,813 --> 00:57:43,481
Oh, my goodness.
Wait till you see Ladypool.
1427
00:57:43,515 --> 00:57:44,883
She is gorgeous.
1428
00:57:44,916 --> 00:57:47,052
She just had a baby too.
And... [blows sharply]
1429
00:57:47,085 --> 00:57:48,019
Can't even tell.
1430
00:57:48,053 --> 00:57:49,521
I don't think you're supposed
to say that.
1431
00:57:49,554 --> 00:57:50,989
That's okay.
1432
00:57:51,022 --> 00:57:52,624
I identify as a feminist.
1433
00:57:52,657 --> 00:57:53,858
Right.
1434
00:57:55,493 --> 00:57:56,795
Are those gold-plated,
1435
00:57:56,828 --> 00:57:58,964
.50 caliber Desert Eagle
pistoleros?
1436
00:57:58,997 --> 00:57:59,998
'Course.
1437
00:58:00,031 --> 00:58:01,366
To match my ear huggie.
1438
00:58:01,399 --> 00:58:02,701
Can I have 'em?
1439
00:58:02,733 --> 00:58:04,636
[laughs] Over my dead body.
1440
00:58:04,669 --> 00:58:05,904
[chuckles] You're fun.
1441
00:58:05,937 --> 00:58:08,406
And I guess you've
already met Mary Puppins.
1442
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:10,208
AKA Dogpool.
1443
00:58:10,242 --> 00:58:11,576
Careful where you put
your hands.
1444
00:58:11,610 --> 00:58:14,346
She's ninety percent g-spot,
and she'll let you know it.
1445
00:58:14,379 --> 00:58:18,049
You let this little flirt out
of your sight for one second
1446
00:58:18,083 --> 00:58:20,218
and she starts shopping
for a new papa.
1447
00:58:20,252 --> 00:58:22,387
If you can't be
a responsible pet owner,
1448
00:58:22,420 --> 00:58:25,190
then maybe you don't deserve
this little unicorn.
1449
00:58:25,223 --> 00:58:27,459
Guilty on all charges,
Your Honor.
1450
00:58:27,492 --> 00:58:28,526
Shan't happen again.
1451
00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:30,028
Why are you so nice?
1452
00:58:30,061 --> 00:58:31,663
Oh, it costs nothing
to be kind.
1453
00:58:31,696 --> 00:58:33,498
Shutting the fuck up
is also free.
1454
00:58:33,531 --> 00:58:34,966
-Caliente.
-This is Logan.
1455
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:36,134
He's usually shirtless,
1456
00:58:36,167 --> 00:58:38,069
but he's let himself go
since the divorce.
1457
00:58:39,337 --> 00:58:40,972
Where's your mask?
1458
00:58:43,541 --> 00:58:44,576
Come on, guys.
1459
00:58:44,609 --> 00:58:46,111
[bird screeches in distance]
1460
00:58:46,144 --> 00:58:47,112
Ugh, this guy.
1461
00:58:47,145 --> 00:58:48,680
We're looking
for a group of survivors.
1462
00:58:48,713 --> 00:58:49,814
Oh, they're out there.
1463
00:58:49,848 --> 00:58:51,616
Yeah, but merc to merc,
you better hope
1464
00:58:51,650 --> 00:58:53,418
that you don't run
into the Deadpool corps.
1465
00:58:53,451 --> 00:58:54,419
Yeah, they're crazy.
1466
00:58:54,452 --> 00:58:56,121
They will chop you up
into a thousand pieces
1467
00:58:56,154 --> 00:58:57,422
and hide you
all over The Void.
1468
00:58:57,455 --> 00:58:59,424
If they could only process
their childhood trauma,
1469
00:58:59,457 --> 00:59:01,293
they'd go on one heck
of a healing journey.
1470
00:59:01,326 --> 00:59:02,594
Look, we're headed
for the borderlands.
1471
00:59:02,627 --> 00:59:03,895
You know where it is?
1472
00:59:03,928 --> 00:59:06,698
Yeah, that...
that's 12 klicks due west.
1473
00:59:06,731 --> 00:59:08,033
I can lend you my ride,
if you like.
1474
00:59:08,066 --> 00:59:10,135
It would be my honor.
1475
00:59:12,504 --> 00:59:13,505
[birds chirping]
1476
00:59:13,538 --> 00:59:15,707
[Deadpool] Oh, no, no, no, no.
Absolutely not.
1477
00:59:15,740 --> 00:59:17,842
Uh-uh. What the...
No! No!
1478
00:59:17,876 --> 00:59:18,910
Just get in the car.
1479
00:59:18,943 --> 00:59:20,111
This isn't a car.
1480
00:59:20,145 --> 00:59:22,614
This is
a Honda fuckin' Odyssey.
1481
00:59:22,647 --> 00:59:24,649
Throttle response
sucks a cock.
1482
00:59:24,683 --> 00:59:25,884
Dated infotainment system.
1483
00:59:25,917 --> 00:59:27,652
When Honda saw
that untreated chlamydia
1484
00:59:27,686 --> 00:59:28,853
was makin' a comeback,
1485
00:59:28,887 --> 00:59:31,589
they invented
the Honda Odyssey to compete.
1486
00:59:31,623 --> 00:59:34,726
Get in the fucking car.
1487
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:36,695
She'll get you there
safe and sound.
1488
00:59:36,728 --> 00:59:38,963
Old Betsy always does.
1489
00:59:38,997 --> 00:59:41,399
You're gonna have to
give me my dog back, though.
1490
00:59:41,433 --> 00:59:42,768
[Deadpool] I know. Listen.
1491
00:59:42,802 --> 00:59:44,302
-[Dogpool whimpers]
-Yes, child.
1492
00:59:44,336 --> 00:59:46,638
If you ever wanna give her up,
or if she needs a new home,
1493
00:59:46,671 --> 00:59:48,673
or if something
should happen to you,
1494
00:59:48,707 --> 00:59:49,908
I'd love to be her papa.
1495
00:59:49,941 --> 00:59:52,344
[laughs] What would
ever happen to me?
1496
00:59:52,377 --> 00:59:53,511
[Deadpool] Lots of stuff.
1497
00:59:57,082 --> 00:59:58,450
-Jesus.
-[Deadpool] No!
1498
00:59:58,483 --> 01:00:00,285
We're running away. [grunts]
1499
01:00:00,318 --> 01:00:02,087
-[Wolverine] Give me that.
-The corn was too dense, girl!
1500
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:03,154
-[Wolverine] There.
-Come here!
1501
01:00:03,188 --> 01:00:04,622
-[Deadpool] Fuck!
-[Nicepool] Hello!
1502
01:00:06,491 --> 01:00:07,625
-[engine starts]
-Bye.
1503
01:00:07,659 --> 01:00:10,261
[♪ Avril Lavigne "I'm With
You" plays on car stereo]
1504
01:00:10,295 --> 01:00:11,129
[sighs]
1505
01:00:11,162 --> 01:00:15,467
♪ It's a damn cold night♪
1506
01:00:15,500 --> 01:00:20,271
♪ Trying to figure out
this life♪
1507
01:00:20,305 --> 01:00:23,007
♪ Won't you take me
by the hand?♪
1508
01:00:23,041 --> 01:00:25,377
♪ Take me somewhere new♪
1509
01:00:25,410 --> 01:00:30,048
♪ I don't know who you are
But I♪
1510
01:00:30,081 --> 01:00:32,484
♪ I'm with you...♪
1511
01:00:33,451 --> 01:00:34,986
[Deadpool] Okay,
I'm just gonna ask...
1512
01:00:35,019 --> 01:00:36,154
What's with the suit?
1513
01:00:36,187 --> 01:00:37,889
First thing I did
when I flamed out,
1514
01:00:37,922 --> 01:00:38,990
-I took mine off.
-Drop it.
1515
01:00:39,023 --> 01:00:40,358
[Deadpool] It's not that ugly.
1516
01:00:40,392 --> 01:00:41,993
-Stop talking about my suit.
-Did you make it yourself?
1517
01:00:42,026 --> 01:00:43,461
-Been there.
-Quit. Now.
1518
01:00:43,495 --> 01:00:46,564
The X-Men make you wear it?
Those sons of fuckin' bitches.
1519
01:00:46,598 --> 01:00:48,299
They are not your friends,
I'll tell you that.
1520
01:00:48,333 --> 01:00:50,836
Friends don't let friends
leave the house lookin' like
1521
01:00:50,870 --> 01:00:52,704
they fight crime
for the Los Angeles Rams.
1522
01:00:52,737 --> 01:00:54,072
Shut the fuck up
about this, or--
1523
01:00:54,105 --> 01:00:56,207
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch
your frown lines, angel baby.
1524
01:00:56,241 --> 01:00:57,442
I'm just trying
to bond a little bit.
1525
01:00:57,475 --> 01:00:59,110
Yeah, well, then talk
about somethin' else.
1526
01:00:59,144 --> 01:01:00,145
Fine.
1527
01:01:03,581 --> 01:01:05,216
Pshew. Pshew, pshew.
1528
01:01:05,717 --> 01:01:06,819
Pshew!
1529
01:01:06,852 --> 01:01:09,421
-Stop it.
-Pshew.
1530
01:01:09,454 --> 01:01:11,089
If they can fix your world,
what's the first thing
1531
01:01:11,122 --> 01:01:12,223
you're gonna do
when you get out of here?
1532
01:01:12,257 --> 01:01:13,725
Get some
rubbing alcohol shots,
1533
01:01:13,759 --> 01:01:15,427
maybe a wiper fluid chaser?
1534
01:01:15,460 --> 01:01:17,228
-What did you say?
-I said when you get back,
1535
01:01:17,262 --> 01:01:18,496
what's the first thing
you're gonna do?
1536
01:01:18,530 --> 01:01:20,098
No, no, no. Before that.
1537
01:01:21,099 --> 01:01:23,034
If... they can fix your world?
1538
01:01:23,701 --> 01:01:24,702
[grunts]
1539
01:01:26,938 --> 01:01:28,506
What do you mean, "if"?
1540
01:01:29,107 --> 01:01:30,141
-I mean--
-You lied to me.
1541
01:01:30,175 --> 01:01:31,342
You don't have a fucking clue
1542
01:01:31,376 --> 01:01:33,044
if they can help me
fix things, do you?
1543
01:01:33,077 --> 01:01:34,712
No. I mean-- Ow!
1544
01:01:34,746 --> 01:01:37,382
Fuck! Fuck! I didn't lie!
1545
01:01:37,415 --> 01:01:40,452
-You lied!
-No! I made an educated wish!
1546
01:01:42,153 --> 01:01:43,621
Because I need you.
1547
01:01:44,589 --> 01:01:48,393
This. This is why. Right here.
1548
01:01:48,426 --> 01:01:50,328
'Cause if we don't do
something, they die.
1549
01:01:50,361 --> 01:01:52,597
I don't know anything
about saving worlds.
1550
01:01:52,630 --> 01:01:54,165
And why would I even care?
1551
01:01:54,199 --> 01:01:57,669
Because my entire world
is right here in this picture.
1552
01:01:57,702 --> 01:01:59,504
It's only nine people,
1553
01:01:59,537 --> 01:02:02,942
and I have no idea
how to save it alone.
1554
01:02:02,974 --> 01:02:05,143
I know how to fuck people up
for money. But you,
1555
01:02:05,176 --> 01:02:07,045
you know how to save 'em!
1556
01:02:08,046 --> 01:02:09,214
At least
the other Wolverine did.
1557
01:02:09,247 --> 01:02:10,448
-[flesh squelching]
-[groans]
1558
01:02:10,482 --> 01:02:13,418
Fuck! I guess I'm stuck
with the worst one.
1559
01:02:13,451 --> 01:02:15,587
Did you say you made
1560
01:02:15,620 --> 01:02:18,958
an educated fucking wish?
1561
01:02:18,990 --> 01:02:21,192
They call me
"The Merc with the Mouth."
1562
01:02:21,226 --> 01:02:23,294
They don't call me
"Truthful Timmy,
1563
01:02:23,328 --> 01:02:25,330
"the Blowjob Queen
of Saskatoon."
1564
01:02:25,865 --> 01:02:27,265
[grunts in pain]
1565
01:02:29,033 --> 01:02:30,235
One more word.
1566
01:02:31,202 --> 01:02:34,105
Please give me one.
[breathing heavily]
1567
01:02:36,474 --> 01:02:37,609
Gubernatorial.
1568
01:02:37,642 --> 01:02:39,410
[yelps] Oh, fuck!
1569
01:02:40,913 --> 01:02:42,447
You know what?
You're a fucking joke.
1570
01:02:44,082 --> 01:02:45,517
No wonder the Avengers
didn't take you.
1571
01:02:45,550 --> 01:02:48,419
Or the X-Men. And they'll take
fucking anyone.
1572
01:02:48,453 --> 01:02:49,855
I mean, you are
1573
01:02:49,889 --> 01:02:53,525
a ridiculous, immature,
half-wit moron.
1574
01:02:54,025 --> 01:02:55,895
I have never met
1575
01:02:55,928 --> 01:02:57,195
a sadder,
1576
01:02:57,228 --> 01:02:59,832
more attention-starved,
jabbering little prick
1577
01:02:59,865 --> 01:03:01,199
in my entire life.
1578
01:03:01,232 --> 01:03:03,301
And that says a lot,
'cause I've been alive
1579
01:03:03,334 --> 01:03:06,005
for more than
200 fuckin' years,
1580
01:03:06,037 --> 01:03:07,305
and I'll tell ya,
1581
01:03:07,338 --> 01:03:09,107
that bald chick
was right about one thing.
1582
01:03:09,140 --> 01:03:11,810
You will never save the world!
1583
01:03:11,844 --> 01:03:14,546
You couldn't even save
a relationship
1584
01:03:14,579 --> 01:03:16,381
with a goddamn stripper!
1585
01:03:16,414 --> 01:03:19,083
And motherfucker, I wish
I could say you'd die alone,
1586
01:03:19,117 --> 01:03:22,153
but it's one of God's
best jokes that you can't die,
1587
01:03:22,186 --> 01:03:23,789
except that's on all of us!
1588
01:03:27,860 --> 01:03:30,261
Oh, you got nothing to say,
Mouth?
1589
01:03:30,295 --> 01:03:31,596
[breathing heavily]
1590
01:03:38,971 --> 01:03:40,705
[Deadpool]
I'm gonna fight you now.
1591
01:03:40,738 --> 01:03:42,607
[laughs]
1592
01:03:42,640 --> 01:03:44,275
[snorts] Oh, are you?
1593
01:03:47,980 --> 01:03:50,415
[song plays on radio,
song changing]
1594
01:03:50,448 --> 01:03:53,018
[♪ upbeat pop music plays,
"You're the One That I Want"]
1595
01:03:53,052 --> 01:03:54,319
[grunting]
1596
01:03:54,352 --> 01:03:56,855
-[groaning]
-Mm. Not talkin' now, are ya?
1597
01:03:56,889 --> 01:03:59,424
♪ And I'm losing control♪
1598
01:03:59,457 --> 01:04:03,361
♪ 'Cause the power
you're supplying♪
1599
01:04:03,394 --> 01:04:04,629
[Deadpool]
Oh, you dirty bitch.
1600
01:04:06,966 --> 01:04:08,533
[growls]
1601
01:04:08,566 --> 01:04:10,869
-[yelling]
-♪ You better shape up ♪
1602
01:04:10,903 --> 01:04:12,537
♪ 'Cause I need a man♪
1603
01:04:12,570 --> 01:04:14,272
[both grunting]
1604
01:04:14,305 --> 01:04:17,408
♪ And my heart is set on you♪
1605
01:04:17,442 --> 01:04:19,778
♪ You better shape up♪
1606
01:04:19,812 --> 01:04:21,245
-[laughs]
-[Deadpool] Whoo!
1607
01:04:21,847 --> 01:04:22,915
[grunts]
1608
01:04:22,948 --> 01:04:25,516
♪ To my heart,
I must be true♪
1609
01:04:25,550 --> 01:04:29,187
♪ Nothing left,
nothing left for me to do♪
1610
01:04:29,220 --> 01:04:31,222
♪ You're the one that I want♪
1611
01:04:31,991 --> 01:04:33,859
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey♪
1612
01:04:33,892 --> 01:04:35,426
♪ The one that I want♪
1613
01:04:36,294 --> 01:04:37,528
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey♪
1614
01:04:37,562 --> 01:04:39,230
-[straining]
-No, no, no! [screams]
1615
01:04:39,263 --> 01:04:40,732
[screams in high pitch]
1616
01:04:40,766 --> 01:04:42,400
-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh♪
-[bones crack]
1617
01:04:42,433 --> 01:04:46,471
♪ The one I need
Oh, yes, indeed...♪
1618
01:04:49,140 --> 01:04:50,508
[choking]
1619
01:04:54,113 --> 01:04:55,546
[yells]
1620
01:04:57,816 --> 01:04:59,384
-Baby Knife!
-[screams]
1621
01:05:01,219 --> 01:05:02,487
[♪ song stops]
1622
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:05,858
I take it all back.
The Honda Odyssey fucks hard.
1623
01:05:05,891 --> 01:05:07,258
Too bad you don't,
needle dick.
1624
01:05:07,291 --> 01:05:08,559
Oh, we're just
gettin' started, bub.
1625
01:05:08,593 --> 01:05:10,361
-[yells]
-[♪ song resumes playing]
1626
01:05:11,396 --> 01:05:13,164
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪
1627
01:05:13,197 --> 01:05:14,699
[Deadpool] Oh, you... Fuck!
1628
01:05:15,901 --> 01:05:17,468
-[Deadpool groaning loudly]
-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
1629
01:05:17,502 --> 01:05:19,404
-♪ The one I need♪
-[groaning stops]
1630
01:05:19,437 --> 01:05:22,206
♪ Oh, yes, indeed ♪
1631
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:23,842
♪ You're the one that I want ♪
1632
01:05:23,876 --> 01:05:24,910
[♪ song fades out]
1633
01:05:24,943 --> 01:05:26,377
[birds chirping]
1634
01:05:28,781 --> 01:05:30,348
[leaves rustling]
1635
01:05:33,551 --> 01:05:35,753
[♪ ominous music playing]
1636
01:05:38,023 --> 01:05:39,657
[car door opens and closes]
1637
01:05:39,691 --> 01:05:40,826
[engine starts]
1638
01:05:53,005 --> 01:05:55,273
[♪ cryptic music playing]
1639
01:05:55,841 --> 01:05:57,375
[water dripping]
1640
01:06:07,152 --> 01:06:08,453
[Deadpool] Thor!
1641
01:06:11,255 --> 01:06:12,290
Where are we?
1642
01:06:12,323 --> 01:06:15,761
No clue, but...
I like it here.
1643
01:06:15,794 --> 01:06:18,463
-[door opens]
-[♪ cryptic music intensifies]
1644
01:06:21,200 --> 01:06:23,234
[grunting]
1645
01:06:23,267 --> 01:06:25,436
[Deadpool] Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
1646
01:06:25,470 --> 01:06:27,672
[♪ sentimental music playing]
1647
01:06:34,412 --> 01:06:36,280
-[♪ music pauses]
-[low growl]
1648
01:06:36,314 --> 01:06:38,784
[♪ dramatic electronic
music playing]
1649
01:06:48,359 --> 01:06:50,328
[electrical humming]
1650
01:06:55,700 --> 01:06:56,701
[cat meows]
1651
01:07:12,918 --> 01:07:13,952
[♪ music fades out]
1652
01:07:13,986 --> 01:07:15,854
Okay.
1653
01:07:15,888 --> 01:07:18,957
Look at you... all.
You must be the others.
1654
01:07:19,590 --> 01:07:20,625
Terrific.
1655
01:07:20,658 --> 01:07:23,929
So just to refresh, you are
1656
01:07:23,962 --> 01:07:24,897
-Wonder--
-Elektra.
1657
01:07:24,930 --> 01:07:27,398
[Deadpool] Elektra?
Yes. Who could forget?
1658
01:07:27,431 --> 01:07:30,568
And you. I was not expecting
to see you here.
1659
01:07:30,601 --> 01:07:32,303
I thought you were, you know,
1660
01:07:32,336 --> 01:07:33,872
retired. [chuckles]
1661
01:07:34,572 --> 01:07:35,573
Retarded?
1662
01:07:36,975 --> 01:07:38,010
[Deadpool] "Retired."
1663
01:07:38,043 --> 01:07:39,077
I'm already in The Void.
1664
01:07:39,111 --> 01:07:40,279
I'm not trying
to get canceled again.
1665
01:07:40,311 --> 01:07:42,380
-I don't like you.
-[Deadpool] You never did.
1666
01:07:43,748 --> 01:07:46,218
And who's this
succulent reminder
1667
01:07:46,251 --> 01:07:47,820
of my own inadequacies?
1668
01:07:47,853 --> 01:07:49,420
Look at you.
1669
01:07:49,453 --> 01:07:52,191
You look like the
superhero version of Hawkeye.
1670
01:07:52,224 --> 01:07:55,593
The name's Remy LeBeau,
Le Diable Blanc.
1671
01:07:55,626 --> 01:07:57,029
But you can call me
the Gambit.
1672
01:07:57,062 --> 01:07:58,864
[Deadpool] It's been a while
since I've seen Sling Blade.
1673
01:07:58,897 --> 01:07:59,898
Hit me again.
1674
01:08:00,598 --> 01:08:01,767
They call me the Gambit.
1675
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:03,135
[Deadpool] Do they?
Are you sure you didn't
1676
01:08:03,168 --> 01:08:04,368
just really,
really want them to,
1677
01:08:04,402 --> 01:08:05,771
but it never quite worked out?
1678
01:08:06,905 --> 01:08:08,372
[speaks indistinctly]
1679
01:08:08,406 --> 01:08:10,843
You know, we never had
a Wolverine up in here.
1680
01:08:11,509 --> 01:08:12,510
But I can tell you now,
1681
01:08:12,543 --> 01:08:14,545
it's just a common courtesy
to ask
1682
01:08:14,579 --> 01:08:16,315
before you drink up
all of my liquor.
1683
01:08:16,347 --> 01:08:18,583
Well, it's a good thing
I don't give a fuck.
1684
01:08:18,616 --> 01:08:20,853
[laughs, speaks indistinctly]
1685
01:08:21,920 --> 01:08:22,921
Fuck.
1686
01:08:25,389 --> 01:08:27,025
-[bottle smashes]
-[Deadpool] So embarrassing.
1687
01:08:28,093 --> 01:08:29,161
Boo, boo, boo.
1688
01:08:29,194 --> 01:08:30,295
Well, now that
that's settled, look,
1689
01:08:30,329 --> 01:08:31,729
we came a long way
to find you three.
1690
01:08:31,763 --> 01:08:33,497
-There's four of us.
-[Deadpool] There's four...
1691
01:08:33,531 --> 01:08:35,566
Hey, wait. Is it Magneto?
1692
01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:37,668
Dear sweet God in heaven,
let it be Magneto,
1693
01:08:37,702 --> 01:08:38,736
-because with him--
-He's dead.
1694
01:08:38,770 --> 01:08:40,806
[Deadpool] Fuck!
Now Disney gets cheap?
1695
01:08:40,839 --> 01:08:42,875
It's like Pinocchio jammed
his face in my ass
1696
01:08:42,908 --> 01:08:45,244
-and started lying like crazy.
-Ooh, you nasty!
1697
01:08:45,277 --> 01:08:47,678
Mon petit rouge. Laissez
les bons temps rouler, huh?
1698
01:08:47,712 --> 01:08:50,581
[Deadpool] Not a single word.
What do you do exactly?
1699
01:08:50,615 --> 01:08:53,185
Charge the playing cards
and make 'em go boom!
1700
01:08:53,218 --> 01:08:55,486
[Deadpool] Your power's
close-up magic. That's good.
1701
01:08:55,519 --> 01:08:57,155
We're not totally
fucked at all.
1702
01:08:57,189 --> 01:08:58,556
So who brought us here?
1703
01:08:58,589 --> 01:08:59,858
[Voice] That would be me.
1704
01:09:02,294 --> 01:09:04,695
[♪ pensive music playing]
1705
01:09:10,135 --> 01:09:11,402
Don't make me regret it.
1706
01:09:13,005 --> 01:09:16,507
[Deadpool] Holy shit. Logan.
That's her. That's X-23.
1707
01:09:16,540 --> 01:09:18,143
She's the one
I told you about.
1708
01:09:22,580 --> 01:09:24,749
Hey, how did you all get stuck
in The Void?
1709
01:09:24,783 --> 01:09:26,385
There was a knock at the door.
1710
01:09:26,417 --> 01:09:28,452
-TVA sent me here.
-Me, too.
1711
01:09:28,486 --> 01:09:29,553
Well, maybe I was born here.
1712
01:09:29,587 --> 01:09:30,856
It's... It's hard
to know for sure.
1713
01:09:30,889 --> 01:09:34,458
TVA decided
our universe was dying.
1714
01:09:34,492 --> 01:09:36,594
And I never even got a chance
to fight for it.
1715
01:09:39,264 --> 01:09:41,432
[Elektra] People like us
don't go quietly.
1716
01:09:41,465 --> 01:09:43,668
TVA knows that,
so they took us out.
1717
01:09:43,701 --> 01:09:46,104
[smooches]
The answer is yes. I'm in.
1718
01:09:46,138 --> 01:09:48,073
-In what?
-[Deadpool] A team.
1719
01:09:48,106 --> 01:09:50,309
Me, you, you, and me.
All of us together.
1720
01:09:50,342 --> 01:09:51,742
Let's get the fuck
out of this place.
1721
01:09:51,777 --> 01:09:53,511
Don't listen to him.
He's a fucking liar!
1722
01:09:53,544 --> 01:09:55,347
[Deadpool]
It was an educated wish!
1723
01:09:55,380 --> 01:09:56,982
-Ha!
-[Deadpool] Look.
1724
01:09:58,417 --> 01:10:00,385
We've been inside
Cassandra's lair.
1725
01:10:00,419 --> 01:10:02,854
The only way out of The Void
is through her.
1726
01:10:02,888 --> 01:10:04,790
She can get us home.
She told us.
1727
01:10:04,823 --> 01:10:07,359
Wait a minute,
you've been inside?
1728
01:10:07,392 --> 01:10:09,127
-And you made it out alive?
-Bullshit.
1729
01:10:09,161 --> 01:10:10,929
-Nobody's ever done that.
-[Deadpool] We did.
1730
01:10:10,963 --> 01:10:13,564
Every time one of us
has gone up against her,
1731
01:10:13,899 --> 01:10:14,900
they die.
1732
01:10:14,933 --> 01:10:17,702
The Punisher, the Quicksilver,
the Daredevil.
1733
01:10:17,735 --> 01:10:19,404
[Deadpool] Daredevil?
I'm so sorry.
1734
01:10:19,438 --> 01:10:20,839
-It's fine.
-[Deadpool] Okay.
1735
01:10:22,808 --> 01:10:26,144
Even that sweet, baby angel,
Johnny Storm.
1736
01:10:26,178 --> 01:10:27,611
He up and gone missing like,
1737
01:10:27,645 --> 01:10:29,580
what, two days ago?
1738
01:10:29,613 --> 01:10:31,917
[Deadpool] Ugh. That's so sad.
1739
01:10:31,950 --> 01:10:34,685
Wherever this Johnny fella is,
I'm sure he's thriving.
1740
01:10:34,719 --> 01:10:35,854
[Wolverine chuckles]
1741
01:10:35,887 --> 01:10:38,123
Look, there's...
there's strength in numbers.
1742
01:10:38,156 --> 01:10:39,257
All right? Us...
1743
01:10:39,291 --> 01:10:40,624
plus, you guys.
We can put Cassandra
1744
01:10:40,658 --> 01:10:42,928
over our knee and force her
to let us out of The Void.
1745
01:10:42,961 --> 01:10:44,628
I know what it means
to feel self-doubt.
1746
01:10:44,662 --> 01:10:46,198
-I don't feel that at all.
-I'm good.
1747
01:10:46,231 --> 01:10:48,467
[Deadpool] Gnawing at your gut
like a coked-up tapeworm.
1748
01:10:48,499 --> 01:10:50,035
It's like you're holding up
a mirror to my soul.
1749
01:10:50,068 --> 01:10:51,403
[Deadpool] You guys
may not have been able
1750
01:10:51,436 --> 01:10:53,171
to save your universes.
1751
01:10:53,205 --> 01:10:55,374
But you can avenge them.
1752
01:10:55,407 --> 01:10:56,707
It's what Johnny
would have wanted.
1753
01:10:56,741 --> 01:10:59,778
Wait. You knew Johnny?
1754
01:11:00,578 --> 01:11:01,813
[chuckles] Oh, yeah.
1755
01:11:01,847 --> 01:11:03,815
Dickhead here talked him
into a team-up,
1756
01:11:03,849 --> 01:11:06,451
and Johnny came down with
a little case of the deads.
1757
01:11:06,485 --> 01:11:07,786
[Deadpool] No, no, no.
We don't know that.
1758
01:11:07,819 --> 01:11:10,022
It was just a flesh wound.
He may have survived.
1759
01:11:10,055 --> 01:11:12,824
If he survived that,
he is prayin' for death.
1760
01:11:12,858 --> 01:11:14,493
[Deadpool] Thank you,
Doctor Wolverine!
1761
01:11:14,525 --> 01:11:16,694
-Spill it!
-What'd you do to Johnny, huh?
1762
01:11:16,727 --> 01:11:17,896
Talk or I'm gonna
start dealin'.
1763
01:11:17,929 --> 01:11:19,597
[Deadpool] Okay. Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.
1764
01:11:20,065 --> 01:11:20,899
Look.
1765
01:11:20,932 --> 01:11:23,368
He ran his fat-ass mouth
about Cassandra.
1766
01:11:23,402 --> 01:11:25,170
Then she zip-zapped his skin,
1767
01:11:25,203 --> 01:11:27,339
leaving his organs to splash
crudely onto the ground
1768
01:11:27,372 --> 01:11:30,308
while the soil
greedily drank his blood.
It was horrible.
1769
01:11:30,342 --> 01:11:32,110
He was like a brother to me.
1770
01:11:32,144 --> 01:11:35,280
Look, he died before he could
make a difference. But...
1771
01:11:35,313 --> 01:11:36,348
-[laughs]
-Look, maybe you couldn't
1772
01:11:36,381 --> 01:11:37,816
save your worlds, but...
1773
01:11:37,849 --> 01:11:40,584
but Jesus Christ,
you can save mine!
1774
01:11:40,618 --> 01:11:43,088
I don't give a shit
about your world, but
1775
01:11:43,121 --> 01:11:46,058
if these two made it out of
there alive, maybe together,
1776
01:11:46,091 --> 01:11:47,993
we can get back in
and take her down.
1777
01:11:48,026 --> 01:11:50,996
Where I come from,
we call that suicide, Chere.
1778
01:11:51,029 --> 01:11:52,998
[Deadpool] If we can block
her psychic powers,
1779
01:11:53,031 --> 01:11:54,900
we can get a leg up.
I know it.
1780
01:11:54,933 --> 01:11:56,968
Now, I know Magneto's dead.
1781
01:11:57,002 --> 01:11:59,603
But I'd venture to guess
that his helmet is lying
1782
01:11:59,637 --> 01:12:01,672
-around here somewhere--
-Cassandra melted the helmet.
1783
01:12:01,705 --> 01:12:02,874
-[Deadpool] Fuck!
-After she killed him.
1784
01:12:02,908 --> 01:12:04,876
-[Deadpool] Fuck!
-She don't play.
1785
01:12:04,910 --> 01:12:06,344
She knows that helmet
was the only way
1786
01:12:06,378 --> 01:12:08,013
to protect anyone
from her powers.
1787
01:12:08,046 --> 01:12:09,915
The only other helmet that
strong is Juggernaut's,
1788
01:12:09,948 --> 01:12:11,183
but he works for Cassandra.
1789
01:12:11,216 --> 01:12:12,716
[Deadpool]
Juggernaut's helmet.
That's it.
1790
01:12:12,750 --> 01:12:14,419
Yeah, and we done be knowing
that lid ain't comin' off
1791
01:12:14,453 --> 01:12:15,854
without that dome
gonna come off wit'it.
1792
01:12:15,887 --> 01:12:17,155
[Deadpool] I'm so sorry,
beautiful.
1793
01:12:17,189 --> 01:12:18,056
I want this to be gentle.
1794
01:12:18,090 --> 01:12:20,358
Who is your dialect coach?
The Minions?
1795
01:12:20,392 --> 01:12:23,661
I feel like we are missing
critical exposition here.
1796
01:12:24,863 --> 01:12:27,833
I'm sick of this shit.
I'm sick of hiding.
1797
01:12:28,867 --> 01:12:30,902
Let's face it,
our worlds forgot about us.
1798
01:12:30,936 --> 01:12:32,736
Or never learned about us.
1799
01:12:32,771 --> 01:12:34,206
The heroes we were.
1800
01:12:34,239 --> 01:12:35,540
Lives we saved.
1801
01:12:35,574 --> 01:12:36,942
Or wanted to save.
1802
01:12:36,975 --> 01:12:39,010
Maybe these two
are our chance.
1803
01:12:39,044 --> 01:12:40,345
[gurgling]
1804
01:12:40,378 --> 01:12:42,114
To be remembered.
1805
01:12:42,147 --> 01:12:43,215
The way we deserve.
1806
01:12:44,349 --> 01:12:45,417
[Deadpool] Yes.
1807
01:12:45,450 --> 01:12:47,252
An ending.
1808
01:12:47,285 --> 01:12:48,487
-Legacy.
-[Deadpool] Yes!
1809
01:12:48,520 --> 01:12:49,988
Yes! Let this man cook.
1810
01:12:50,021 --> 01:12:51,523
This is what
I'm talking about.
1811
01:12:51,556 --> 01:12:53,525
Big slow-motion fights,
sad music.
1812
01:12:53,558 --> 01:12:54,759
Everybody working together.
1813
01:12:54,793 --> 01:12:56,627
Who knows if you live or die?
That sorta thing.
1814
01:12:56,660 --> 01:12:58,797
-Who's ready?
-I was born ready.
1815
01:12:58,830 --> 01:13:00,098
[Deadpool] Yes!
Gambit?
1816
01:13:00,132 --> 01:13:01,066
I ain't know my daddy,
1817
01:13:01,099 --> 01:13:03,068
but I'm sure I shot out
of his dick ready.
1818
01:13:03,101 --> 01:13:05,003
[Deadpool] Jesus Christ,
that is graphic.
1819
01:13:05,036 --> 01:13:06,972
Yeah. He was layin' them
buttery nuts all up in my mama
1820
01:13:07,005 --> 01:13:09,007
and I shot out there
and I said, "What's up, Doc?"
1821
01:13:09,040 --> 01:13:11,476
[Deadpool laughs]
Johnny must have loved you.
1822
01:13:11,510 --> 01:13:13,778
X-23, what's it gonna be?
1823
01:13:13,812 --> 01:13:15,046
The name's Laura.
1824
01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:17,883
-Let's fucking go.
-[Deadpool] Let's fucking go!
1825
01:13:17,916 --> 01:13:19,151
It's on like chicken and corn.
1826
01:13:19,184 --> 01:13:20,684
-[Deadpool] Yeah!
-We're doing this.
1827
01:13:20,718 --> 01:13:21,786
You're all fuckin' dead.
1828
01:13:21,820 --> 01:13:24,156
[Deadpool] My God!
Read the room.
1829
01:13:27,559 --> 01:13:29,294
[crickets chirping]
1830
01:13:33,265 --> 01:13:34,966
[exhales]
1831
01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:38,136
Hey, hey. I'm not lookin'
for company. Get out of here.
1832
01:13:40,305 --> 01:13:41,806
You remind me of him.
1833
01:13:41,840 --> 01:13:43,674
Angry. Drunk. Mean...
1834
01:13:43,707 --> 01:13:45,877
-Sounds like a great guy--
-Wasn't finished.
1835
01:13:47,678 --> 01:13:49,281
Showed up when
it mattered the most.
1836
01:13:51,516 --> 01:13:53,185
Couldn't help it.
1837
01:13:54,653 --> 01:13:55,854
[sighs]
1838
01:13:56,521 --> 01:13:57,856
You might not know it, but...
1839
01:13:58,757 --> 01:14:00,192
you're a good man, Logan.
1840
01:14:00,225 --> 01:14:01,226
[chuckles]
1841
01:14:02,227 --> 01:14:03,895
You might not know it,
but apparently,
1842
01:14:03,929 --> 01:14:05,330
I'm the worst Logan.
1843
01:14:07,165 --> 01:14:09,067
I got to have a life
because of you.
1844
01:14:11,970 --> 01:14:13,704
I got to grow up
because of you.
1845
01:14:15,706 --> 01:14:17,275
A lot of kids did.
1846
01:14:17,309 --> 01:14:19,444
A lot of kids didn't grow up
because of me.
1847
01:14:21,646 --> 01:14:23,248
Trust me, kid, I'm no hero.
1848
01:14:24,583 --> 01:14:26,651
That suit says different.
1849
01:14:26,685 --> 01:14:28,820
-Yeah. Do you like it?
-Mm.
1850
01:14:30,689 --> 01:14:32,390
Scott used to beg me
to wear it.
1851
01:14:34,659 --> 01:14:37,262
So did Jean, Storm, Beast.
1852
01:14:39,331 --> 01:14:41,366
All of them.
1853
01:14:41,399 --> 01:14:45,136
They wanted me to be part
of the team, but I wouldn't.
1854
01:14:45,170 --> 01:14:48,473
Told 'em they all look
fucking ridiculous. I mean...
1855
01:14:50,308 --> 01:14:53,078
I couldn't have 'em thinkin'
I wanted to be there.
1856
01:14:58,749 --> 01:15:00,785
And then one day,
while I was off on my own,
1857
01:15:00,819 --> 01:15:02,087
the humans came...
1858
01:15:02,654 --> 01:15:04,089
and went mutant hunting.
1859
01:15:05,357 --> 01:15:06,524
I can guess the rest.
1860
01:15:06,558 --> 01:15:07,759
No, no, let me...
1861
01:15:08,994 --> 01:15:10,195
Let me say it. I...
1862
01:15:12,797 --> 01:15:13,999
I need to say it.
1863
01:15:16,468 --> 01:15:19,137
By the time I stumbled home
shitfaced from the bar,
1864
01:15:19,170 --> 01:15:20,472
it was too late.
1865
01:15:24,276 --> 01:15:25,977
They were dead. Every...
[stifling sob]
1866
01:15:28,446 --> 01:15:30,448
[♪ mournful music playing]
1867
01:15:32,050 --> 01:15:35,220
This suit's all I got to
remind me of who they were.
1868
01:15:37,222 --> 01:15:38,256
And what I did.
1869
01:15:46,097 --> 01:15:47,098
[sniffles]
1870
01:15:51,236 --> 01:15:53,038
We're headed to Cassandra's
at sunup.
1871
01:15:53,838 --> 01:15:55,874
Have fun. Not my fight.
1872
01:15:59,110 --> 01:16:00,845
We won't pull this off
without you.
1873
01:16:07,619 --> 01:16:11,122
Hey. Whoever you think I am,
you got the wrong guy.
1874
01:16:13,892 --> 01:16:15,560
You were always the wrong guy.
1875
01:16:21,966 --> 01:16:24,235
[♪ mournful music continues]
1876
01:16:39,317 --> 01:16:41,286
[cell phone ringing]
1877
01:16:41,319 --> 01:16:42,153
What?
1878
01:16:42,187 --> 01:16:44,489
Alioth didn't get them.
[sniffs]
1879
01:16:44,522 --> 01:16:47,192
Cassandra wanted to
play with them herself first.
1880
01:16:47,225 --> 01:16:48,059
They got away.
1881
01:16:48,093 --> 01:16:49,728
-Did they find the others?
-No.
1882
01:16:49,762 --> 01:16:51,129
Good. All right. Phew.
1883
01:16:51,162 --> 01:16:53,231
-The others found them.
-Oh, very cute.
1884
01:16:53,264 --> 01:16:55,133
Well done, Pyro.
Classic bait and switch.
1885
01:16:55,166 --> 01:16:57,669
-You really got me there.
- Relax.
1886
01:16:57,702 --> 01:17:00,038
If they come after Nova,
she'll handle it.
1887
01:17:00,071 --> 01:17:02,207
Cassandra is
a lunatic wild card.
1888
01:17:02,240 --> 01:17:04,376
Why do you think we put her
there in the first place?
1889
01:17:04,409 --> 01:17:06,511
Thank God she's never chosen
to leave The Void.
1890
01:17:06,544 --> 01:17:09,447
The Time Ripper is hours away
from completion.
1891
01:17:09,481 --> 01:17:10,582
I cannot take any chances.
1892
01:17:10,615 --> 01:17:11,750
Well, maybe not.
1893
01:17:11,784 --> 01:17:13,218
But I can.
1894
01:17:13,251 --> 01:17:14,319
For a price.
1895
01:17:14,352 --> 01:17:15,754
Why do you have to
say it in that silly voice?
1896
01:17:15,788 --> 01:17:17,088
It's so icky.
1897
01:17:17,122 --> 01:17:18,957
-You want it done or not?
-All right. Your price.
1898
01:17:18,990 --> 01:17:20,492
Take her out.
1899
01:17:21,025 --> 01:17:23,161
Ugh. Mutants.
1900
01:17:23,194 --> 01:17:24,295
[♪ hip-hop music plays,
T.I. "Bring 'Em Out"]
1901
01:17:24,329 --> 01:17:25,430
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out♪
1902
01:17:25,463 --> 01:17:27,165
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out♪
1903
01:17:27,198 --> 01:17:29,167
♪ It's hard to yell when
the bar-rel's in your mouth♪
1904
01:17:29,200 --> 01:17:30,468
-♪ Come on ♪
-♪ Swizzy! ♪
1905
01:17:30,502 --> 01:17:32,036
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1906
01:17:33,004 --> 01:17:34,239
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1907
01:17:34,272 --> 01:17:36,341
♪ T-I-P, coming live
from the V.I.P.♪
1908
01:17:36,374 --> 01:17:38,743
♪ Heard the nightlife
lost life without me♪
1909
01:17:38,778 --> 01:17:41,312
♪ Both the feds and the state
wanna see 'bout me ♪
1910
01:17:41,346 --> 01:17:44,215
♪ The whole city got biz-zerk,
he got three...♪
1911
01:17:44,884 --> 01:17:46,017
Ooh! Look at that there!
1912
01:17:46,050 --> 01:17:47,285
You see them biggum hands
come closed.
1913
01:17:47,318 --> 01:17:48,888
Ain't not a wonna gettin' up
inside there.
1914
01:17:48,920 --> 01:17:50,155
[Deadpool] I think what
Gambit's trying to say is
1915
01:17:50,188 --> 01:17:53,091
getting Juggernaut's helmet
ain't gonna be easy.
1916
01:17:53,124 --> 01:17:54,760
I'm just making
stuff up at this...
1917
01:17:54,794 --> 01:17:56,594
-Yeah. Tilt up to Blade.
-Gun!
1918
01:17:56,628 --> 01:17:58,831
♪ Mississippi to Philly,
Albuquerque to Chatt-Town ♪
1919
01:17:58,864 --> 01:18:01,366
♪ If I hit you in the face,
you gon' be suing and shit♪
1920
01:18:01,399 --> 01:18:03,101
[Deadpool] Where'd he get
that little beauty?
1921
01:18:03,134 --> 01:18:05,203
That's Punisher's AT4.
1922
01:18:05,236 --> 01:18:07,639
Which Punisher? There's been,
like, five of them.
1923
01:18:07,672 --> 01:18:09,340
There's only been one Blade,
1924
01:18:09,374 --> 01:18:11,309
and there's only ever
gonna be one Blade.
1925
01:18:11,342 --> 01:18:13,211
♪ Who got a flow and a live
show better than mine? ♪
1926
01:18:13,244 --> 01:18:15,213
♪ I got a packed
house yellin'♪
1927
01:18:15,547 --> 01:18:16,681
Incoming!
1928
01:18:16,714 --> 01:18:18,082
Ahhh!
1929
01:18:19,350 --> 01:18:20,518
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1930
01:18:20,552 --> 01:18:22,053
♪ Ayy, from the back,
they yellin ♪
1931
01:18:22,086 --> 01:18:23,221
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1932
01:18:23,254 --> 01:18:24,355
♪ Ayy, all
the dope boys yellin' ♪
1933
01:18:24,389 --> 01:18:25,557
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1934
01:18:25,590 --> 01:18:26,826
♪ Ayy, from the back,
they yellin ♪
1935
01:18:26,859 --> 01:18:28,393
-[♪ song stops]
-[fire roaring]
1936
01:18:31,463 --> 01:18:32,964
[tires screeching]
1937
01:18:35,166 --> 01:18:36,869
♪ Mic check,
one-two, one-two♪
1938
01:18:36,902 --> 01:18:38,069
♪ You wanna beef
with the King?♪
1939
01:18:38,102 --> 01:18:39,537
♪ What is you gon' do?♪
1940
01:18:39,571 --> 01:18:41,739
♪ Will you show up on the
scene with two guns drew?♪
1941
01:18:41,774 --> 01:18:44,342
♪ Or you and your friend and
play a little two-on-two?♪
1942
01:18:44,375 --> 01:18:45,610
♪ If you knew half
of what I knew♪
1943
01:18:45,643 --> 01:18:46,879
♪ Then you'd be
hitting the deck ♪
1944
01:18:46,912 --> 01:18:48,246
♪ I got a tool and a vest♪
1945
01:18:48,279 --> 01:18:49,782
♪ I can get some respect♪
1946
01:18:49,815 --> 01:18:51,449
♪ Yeah, what other Southern
rapper hood-er than this? ♪
1947
01:18:51,483 --> 01:18:53,985
♪ I got rich, and I'm still
on some hooligan shit ♪
1948
01:18:54,018 --> 01:18:55,420
♪ Standing in your
front yard yellin'♪
1949
01:18:55,453 --> 01:18:56,588
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1950
01:18:56,621 --> 01:18:57,989
♪ Ayy, all
my hot girls yellin' ♪
1951
01:18:58,022 --> 01:18:59,157
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1952
01:18:59,190 --> 01:19:00,291
♪ Ayy, all
the dope boys yellin' ♪
1953
01:19:00,325 --> 01:19:01,493
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1954
01:19:02,093 --> 01:19:03,394
[♪ song stops]
1955
01:19:06,799 --> 01:19:08,032
[♪ song resumes]
1956
01:19:08,066 --> 01:19:09,935
♪ Hands in the air now! ♪
1957
01:19:09,969 --> 01:19:12,070
♪ Hands in the air now! ♪
1958
01:19:12,103 --> 01:19:14,672
♪ Hands-hands in the-
in the air-air now! ♪
1959
01:19:14,706 --> 01:19:15,841
♪ I can't hear you! ♪
1960
01:19:15,875 --> 01:19:18,076
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1961
01:19:18,109 --> 01:19:20,478
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1962
01:19:20,512 --> 01:19:21,513
[♪ song ends]
1963
01:19:23,314 --> 01:19:25,550
Ooh, this is gonna be good.
1964
01:19:25,583 --> 01:19:28,086
You know how long
I've been waiting for this?
1965
01:19:28,119 --> 01:19:30,355
Whoo! I'm about to make
a name for myself here.
1966
01:19:30,388 --> 01:19:32,357
I don't think you guys
walk away from this.
1967
01:19:32,390 --> 01:19:34,392
You just make sure people know
what happened here today.
1968
01:19:34,425 --> 01:19:36,594
And when you get out of here,
you have a drink for me, yeah?
1969
01:19:36,628 --> 01:19:39,097
You just stay on our six
and get inside.
1970
01:19:39,130 --> 01:19:41,733
We'll make sure
you get the package.
1971
01:19:41,767 --> 01:19:43,002
And we'll get our ending.
1972
01:19:43,034 --> 01:19:45,537
[♪ thrilling music playing]
1973
01:19:59,250 --> 01:20:00,552
[♪ music fades out]
1974
01:20:03,588 --> 01:20:05,056
[all yelling]
1975
01:20:10,061 --> 01:20:12,597
[♪ epic music playing]
1976
01:20:14,566 --> 01:20:15,733
[all grunting]
1977
01:20:38,523 --> 01:20:39,724
[groans]
1978
01:20:39,758 --> 01:20:41,526
[electrical roar and hum]
1979
01:20:41,559 --> 01:20:42,795
[crackling]
1980
01:20:53,371 --> 01:20:54,205
And boom!
1981
01:20:54,238 --> 01:20:55,774
[all grunting]
1982
01:20:56,507 --> 01:20:57,810
[laughs, grunts]
1983
01:21:23,902 --> 01:21:25,603
[♪ music stops]
1984
01:21:25,637 --> 01:21:28,107
Heh. Some motherfuckers still
trying to ice skate uphill.
1985
01:21:28,139 --> 01:21:29,507
[henchmen yelling]
1986
01:21:32,143 --> 01:21:33,344
[slurps]
1987
01:21:33,879 --> 01:21:35,114
[footsteps]
1988
01:21:35,146 --> 01:21:37,348
You two escaping,
I could live with.
1989
01:21:37,382 --> 01:21:40,318
But coming back? Willingly?
1990
01:21:41,820 --> 01:21:43,521
Boys are so silly.
1991
01:21:43,554 --> 01:21:44,689
[Deadpool]
I just need to get home.
1992
01:21:44,722 --> 01:21:47,325
Well, that's not on the menu,
I'm afraid.
1993
01:21:47,358 --> 01:21:50,863
It's death or enslavement.
A la carte, of course.
1994
01:21:50,896 --> 01:21:52,430
-Upsy-daisy.
-[grunting]
1995
01:21:57,635 --> 01:21:58,636
Finally,
1996
01:21:58,670 --> 01:22:00,806
it's nice to give someone else
a chance to talk.
1997
01:22:00,839 --> 01:22:02,674
Not my strong suit.
1998
01:22:02,707 --> 01:22:04,475
[groaning and grunting]
1999
01:22:06,678 --> 01:22:08,179
[straining]
2000
01:22:16,855 --> 01:22:17,923
[yells]
2001
01:22:19,557 --> 01:22:20,391
[exhales]
2002
01:22:20,425 --> 01:22:21,794
You shouldn't have done that.
2003
01:22:23,561 --> 01:22:24,595
[grunts]
2004
01:22:24,629 --> 01:22:26,431
[groaning]
2005
01:22:28,167 --> 01:22:29,567
[grunting]
2006
01:22:34,572 --> 01:22:35,774
[yells]
2007
01:22:36,541 --> 01:22:37,608
[growls]
2008
01:22:40,244 --> 01:22:41,579
[screams]
2009
01:22:41,612 --> 01:22:42,848
Adios, pendejo.
2010
01:22:43,882 --> 01:22:45,249
[yells]
2011
01:22:45,283 --> 01:22:48,252
You are an interesting one,
aren't you?
2012
01:22:48,286 --> 01:22:51,389
I do feel like you get lost
behind all of his...
2013
01:22:51,422 --> 01:22:53,458
[imitates yapping]
2014
01:22:54,525 --> 01:22:57,328
Deadpools are a dime a dozen
here in The Void.
2015
01:22:58,097 --> 01:22:59,965
But you...
2016
01:22:59,998 --> 01:23:03,001
What's going on in here?
2017
01:23:03,836 --> 01:23:05,403
[groaning]
2018
01:23:06,704 --> 01:23:08,439
[screaming]
2019
01:23:10,441 --> 01:23:12,510
-[screaming stops]
-[leaves rustling]
2020
01:23:12,543 --> 01:23:13,946
[distant female voice] Logan!
2021
01:23:16,447 --> 01:23:17,749
[Cassandra] Interesting...
2022
01:23:18,884 --> 01:23:20,786
Not what I expected back here.
2023
01:23:21,887 --> 01:23:23,254
Behind the anger.
2024
01:23:27,092 --> 01:23:28,392
You're hiding.
2025
01:23:28,426 --> 01:23:30,361
-From them.
-[sighs]
2026
01:23:30,394 --> 01:23:32,330
From all the ones
you let down.
2027
01:23:34,867 --> 01:23:36,034
So much pain.
2028
01:23:38,703 --> 01:23:40,906
I walked away.
2029
01:23:40,939 --> 01:23:42,673
They called after me and I...
2030
01:23:42,707 --> 01:23:43,842
I walked away.
2031
01:23:44,943 --> 01:23:46,044
I always do.
2032
01:23:46,078 --> 01:23:47,345
-[child] Logan!
-I know.
2033
01:23:49,413 --> 01:23:50,916
That's not all you did.
2034
01:23:51,682 --> 01:23:52,517
Is it?
2035
01:23:52,550 --> 01:23:54,385
-[groans]
-[flesh squelches]
2036
01:23:55,954 --> 01:23:57,455
You found them.
2037
01:23:58,257 --> 01:23:59,457
The X-Men.
2038
01:24:03,294 --> 01:24:04,763
[distant screaming]
2039
01:24:04,797 --> 01:24:05,630
Dead.
2040
01:24:05,663 --> 01:24:07,866
[♪ mournful music playing]
2041
01:24:08,399 --> 01:24:09,768
Piled like wood.
2042
01:24:11,335 --> 01:24:12,737
[Cassandra] What did you do?
2043
01:24:15,240 --> 01:24:17,209
I started killing.
2044
01:24:17,242 --> 01:24:19,845
And I couldn't stop.
I didn't wanna stop.
2045
01:24:21,079 --> 01:24:23,816
[Cassandra] All those bad men.
2046
01:24:23,849 --> 01:24:24,917
[groans]
2047
01:24:27,552 --> 01:24:29,420
It's not just the bad ones.
2048
01:24:30,956 --> 01:24:32,090
My little animal.
2049
01:24:34,793 --> 01:24:37,830
And I turned the whole world
against the X-Men.
2050
01:24:38,130 --> 01:24:39,330
Blade!
2051
01:24:44,803 --> 01:24:45,971
Just once...
2052
01:24:47,738 --> 01:24:50,575
I wanna be the man
that Charles thought I was.
2053
01:24:51,742 --> 01:24:52,845
Logan...
2054
01:24:54,313 --> 01:24:58,050
in The Void,
you can be what you are.
2055
01:25:00,384 --> 01:25:01,954
I just wanna be free.
2056
01:25:02,587 --> 01:25:04,355
I can set you free.
2057
01:25:04,756 --> 01:25:06,058
[panting]
2058
01:25:09,261 --> 01:25:10,628
[yelps]
2059
01:25:15,666 --> 01:25:20,973
I can silence
all those voices.
2060
01:25:21,006 --> 01:25:22,440
[silence falls]
2061
01:25:25,010 --> 01:25:26,078
[exhales]
2062
01:25:27,846 --> 01:25:28,847
I've got you.
2063
01:25:31,350 --> 01:25:32,550
I've got you.
2064
01:25:33,118 --> 01:25:34,119
No.
2065
01:25:35,386 --> 01:25:36,621
I got you.
2066
01:25:37,588 --> 01:25:38,991
[indistinct whining]
2067
01:25:39,024 --> 01:25:40,725
[grunting in pain]
2068
01:25:40,759 --> 01:25:41,960
[gasps]
2069
01:25:41,994 --> 01:25:43,661
[yelling]
2070
01:25:44,395 --> 01:25:46,765
[Cassandra grunts] Get it off!
2071
01:25:46,798 --> 01:25:48,267
[Deadpool]
You're gonna send us home,
2072
01:25:48,300 --> 01:25:49,835
or I'm gonna twist
your fucking head off.
2073
01:25:49,868 --> 01:25:51,502
-[laughs]
-Why are you laughing?
2074
01:25:52,037 --> 01:25:53,305
I can't send you home
2075
01:25:53,338 --> 01:25:56,308
unless you get this thing
off my head.
2076
01:25:56,341 --> 01:25:57,575
And as soon as you do that,
2077
01:25:57,608 --> 01:26:00,312
I'm going to boil your brains
on an atomic level
2078
01:26:00,345 --> 01:26:03,348
whilst flicking my bean
to the Enya box set.
2079
01:26:03,382 --> 01:26:04,548
[Deadpool]
There's an Enya box set?
2080
01:26:04,582 --> 01:26:06,084
Either you kill me
2081
01:26:06,118 --> 01:26:07,418
or I kill you.
2082
01:26:08,287 --> 01:26:10,289
Both wonderful options.
2083
01:26:10,322 --> 01:26:11,522
[Deadpool]
You want me to do it?
2084
01:26:11,555 --> 01:26:12,590
No, I'll do it.
2085
01:26:12,623 --> 01:26:13,959
[Deadpool] I have
her neck right here.
2086
01:26:13,992 --> 01:26:15,660
-It's really no problem.
-You'll screw it up.
2087
01:26:15,693 --> 01:26:17,262
[Deadpool]
Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13,
2088
01:26:17,296 --> 01:26:18,330
except the last one!
2089
01:26:18,363 --> 01:26:20,498
-[gunshots]
-What the fuck?
2090
01:26:21,699 --> 01:26:23,969
-[gasping]
-[chuckles] You have no idea
2091
01:26:24,002 --> 01:26:25,070
what it's like!
2092
01:26:25,103 --> 01:26:28,040
Day after day.
Shovel the shit.
2093
01:26:28,073 --> 01:26:29,740
Fetch the meats.
2094
01:26:29,775 --> 01:26:32,743
I have spent my entire exis--
2095
01:26:34,545 --> 01:26:36,148
Not everyone gets a speech.
2096
01:26:36,181 --> 01:26:39,017
-[groaning]
-She's gonna die.
2097
01:26:39,051 --> 01:26:40,618
[Deadpool] Okay. Hey, hey.
If I take this helmet off,
2098
01:26:40,651 --> 01:26:42,421
do you promise
you won't kill us?
2099
01:26:42,453 --> 01:26:43,587
-Fuck!
-[Cassandra] I promise...
2100
01:26:43,621 --> 01:26:45,290
I will kill you first thing.
2101
01:26:45,324 --> 01:26:47,192
[Deadpool] Oh!
Why are you like this?
2102
01:26:47,225 --> 01:26:48,526
I wish I knew.
2103
01:26:48,559 --> 01:26:49,761
-Take it off.
-[Deadpool] What?
2104
01:26:49,795 --> 01:26:50,996
-Take it off.
-[Deadpool] Why?
2105
01:26:51,029 --> 01:26:52,463
-Just take it off.
-This is our only chance
2106
01:26:52,496 --> 01:26:54,632
-to fix our shit!
-Take it off!
2107
01:26:56,368 --> 01:26:58,703
I am wearing this suit.
2108
01:26:58,736 --> 01:27:01,039
And that means
a lot of things,
but most of all...
2109
01:27:02,441 --> 01:27:03,741
it means I'm an X-Man.
2110
01:27:04,642 --> 01:27:06,178
And I know your brother.
2111
01:27:08,447 --> 01:27:09,848
As much as I want
to fucking kill you,
2112
01:27:09,881 --> 01:27:12,683
every bone in my body
wants to fucking kill you,
2113
01:27:12,717 --> 01:27:15,921
he would not let me stand here
and watch you die!
2114
01:27:18,290 --> 01:27:19,657
Take your hands off.
2115
01:27:21,193 --> 01:27:22,593
This is for him.
2116
01:27:24,329 --> 01:27:25,730
This is for Charles.
2117
01:27:28,133 --> 01:27:29,667
[Cassandra panting]
2118
01:27:33,171 --> 01:27:34,505
[exhales deeply]
2119
01:27:35,474 --> 01:27:37,242
-[grunts]
-[Deadpool] Hey, no, no, no!
2120
01:27:37,275 --> 01:27:38,877
Don't you dare
do me like Johnny!
2121
01:27:45,217 --> 01:27:46,284
My brother loved you.
2122
01:27:48,186 --> 01:27:49,254
He loved all of us.
2123
01:27:49,955 --> 01:27:50,956
Hmm.
2124
01:27:52,324 --> 01:27:53,591
Must be nice.
2125
01:27:54,493 --> 01:27:55,927
He would've loved you, too.
2126
01:27:58,629 --> 01:27:59,965
If he knew about you...
2127
01:28:01,599 --> 01:28:03,001
if he knew where you were,
2128
01:28:03,035 --> 01:28:05,303
he would've torn a hole
in the fucking universe
2129
01:28:05,337 --> 01:28:06,570
to bring you home.
2130
01:28:10,242 --> 01:28:11,309
This is my home.
2131
01:28:12,377 --> 01:28:14,780
Well, then at least
let us save his.
2132
01:28:18,716 --> 01:28:20,318
You want to hear
something crazy?
2133
01:28:22,087 --> 01:28:25,190
An amateur magician rolled
through here a while back.
2134
01:28:26,124 --> 01:28:28,026
I killed him, of course.
2135
01:28:28,060 --> 01:28:30,661
Wore his skin around
for four days.
2136
01:28:31,329 --> 01:28:32,364
But
2137
01:28:32,397 --> 01:28:34,132
I found this
2138
01:28:34,166 --> 01:28:36,134
little trinket
2139
01:28:36,168 --> 01:28:38,370
on his lovely fingers.
2140
01:28:38,403 --> 01:28:39,737
[Deadpool] Strange!
2141
01:28:41,273 --> 01:28:42,573
[Deadpool gasps]
2142
01:28:42,606 --> 01:28:44,910
-Marvel sparkle circle.
-[Wolverine] What is that?
2143
01:28:45,643 --> 01:28:47,678
This is your way home.
2144
01:28:47,711 --> 01:28:49,747
I do owe you
for saving my life.
2145
01:28:49,781 --> 01:28:51,383
But let's keep
things interesting.
2146
01:28:51,416 --> 01:28:53,318
I'd say you have
about four seconds
2147
01:28:53,351 --> 01:28:54,853
before you're Alioth's food.
2148
01:28:55,653 --> 01:28:57,222
[Alioth growling]
2149
01:28:58,890 --> 01:29:00,192
[Deadpool chuckles] Race ya.
2150
01:29:03,929 --> 01:29:05,530
[♪ slow jazz plays, Jimmy
Durante "I'll Be Seeing You"]
2151
01:29:05,564 --> 01:29:09,534
♪ I'll be seeing you ♪
2152
01:29:09,568 --> 01:29:14,940
♪ In all the old
familiar places ♪
2153
01:29:14,973 --> 01:29:19,311
♪ That this heart
of mine embraces ♪
2154
01:29:20,245 --> 01:29:22,147
♪ All day through ♪
2155
01:29:25,616 --> 01:29:29,221
♪ In that small cafe ♪
2156
01:29:30,789 --> 01:29:34,025
-♪ The park across the way ♪
-[screaming]
2157
01:29:35,961 --> 01:29:40,664
♪ The children's carousel ♪
2158
01:29:40,698 --> 01:29:45,636
♪ The chestnut trees,
the wishing well ♪
2159
01:29:47,539 --> 01:29:51,476
♪ I'll be seeing you ♪
2160
01:29:51,510 --> 01:29:55,046
♪ In every lovely
summer's day ♪
2161
01:29:55,080 --> 01:29:56,047
[screams]
2162
01:29:56,081 --> 01:30:01,052
♪ I'll find you
in the morning sun ♪
2163
01:30:01,086 --> 01:30:05,290
♪ And when the night is new♪
2164
01:30:08,026 --> 01:30:13,331
♪ I'll be looking
at the moon ♪
2165
01:30:14,866 --> 01:30:20,372
♪ But I'll be seeing you ♪
2166
01:30:20,405 --> 01:30:21,873
[Alioth snarls]
2167
01:30:23,842 --> 01:30:25,777
[Peter] And as I said,
we've got
a standard three-year
2168
01:30:25,810 --> 01:30:27,312
bumper to bumper warranty.
2169
01:30:27,345 --> 01:30:29,047
Glad you gave us
a second chance.
2170
01:30:29,080 --> 01:30:30,815
And don't worry.
Wade and I are a team,
2171
01:30:30,849 --> 01:30:32,350
so I'll see he gets
half the commission--
2172
01:30:32,984 --> 01:30:34,019
[all gasp]
2173
01:30:34,052 --> 01:30:35,153
-[Deadpool groans]
-Whoa.
2174
01:30:35,187 --> 01:30:37,389
[Deadpool]
That feels like a Kia.
2175
01:30:37,422 --> 01:30:40,125
It's a fucking Kia Carnival,
isn't it? [groans]
2176
01:30:41,293 --> 01:30:44,262
Holy shit. That's Deadpool.
2177
01:30:44,296 --> 01:30:45,497
And that's Wolverine.
2178
01:30:45,530 --> 01:30:46,598
[Deadpool]
You're damn straight it is.
2179
01:30:46,631 --> 01:30:47,666
Fox killed him.
2180
01:30:47,698 --> 01:30:48,900
Disney brought him back.
2181
01:30:48,934 --> 01:30:50,435
They're going to make him
do this till he's 90.
2182
01:30:51,069 --> 01:30:52,637
Let's go.
2183
01:30:52,671 --> 01:30:54,206
[Peter] I'll clock you out!
2184
01:30:54,239 --> 01:30:55,407
[Deadpool] Forever!
2185
01:30:56,174 --> 01:30:57,275
Forever.
2186
01:31:04,516 --> 01:31:05,550
Wakey-wakey.
2187
01:31:05,584 --> 01:31:07,352
-[snorts] God?
-[chuckles]
2188
01:31:08,620 --> 01:31:11,923
Now, you put all these bullets
in my belly,
2189
01:31:11,957 --> 01:31:13,792
and I'm gonna find out why.
2190
01:31:14,326 --> 01:31:15,393
Whoa, whoa!
2191
01:31:16,127 --> 01:31:17,963
I'll just say it.
2192
01:31:17,996 --> 01:31:19,831
You don't have to stick
your fingers in me.
2193
01:31:19,864 --> 01:31:22,367
Jesus, just ask sometimes.
2194
01:31:22,667 --> 01:31:23,902
Fine.
2195
01:31:25,070 --> 01:31:26,071
Really?
2196
01:31:26,605 --> 01:31:27,806
Hands in pockets.
2197
01:31:27,839 --> 01:31:29,407
[breathing heavily]
2198
01:31:29,441 --> 01:31:31,476
Guy named Paradox.
2199
01:31:31,509 --> 01:31:32,711
He said he'd get me
out of The Void.
2200
01:31:32,743 --> 01:31:34,980
All I know is
he works for the TVA.
2201
01:31:35,013 --> 01:31:35,914
The TVA.
2202
01:31:35,947 --> 01:31:37,382
We had an agreement.
2203
01:31:37,415 --> 01:31:39,317
I don't think this guy cares.
2204
01:31:39,351 --> 01:31:41,319
Huh. He will.
2205
01:31:41,720 --> 01:31:42,988
Hey, people!
2206
01:31:43,021 --> 01:31:45,190
How much longer before
the Time Ripper is active?
2207
01:31:45,223 --> 01:31:47,158
We're running
the final safety checks.
2208
01:31:47,192 --> 01:31:49,461
Oh, okay. All right.
Thanks for all
your hard work, Ralph.
2209
01:31:49,494 --> 01:31:50,962
-Take your time.
-Really?
2210
01:31:50,996 --> 01:31:52,697
No, you drooling boob!
2211
01:31:52,731 --> 01:31:54,032
No! We have company.
2212
01:31:54,065 --> 01:31:57,402
Cancel the safety checks.
We need to be live now!
2213
01:31:57,435 --> 01:31:59,070
Oh, I hate you so much.
2214
01:32:01,139 --> 01:32:01,973
No! Stop!
2215
01:32:02,007 --> 01:32:03,875
Piss off! You're too late.
2216
01:32:03,908 --> 01:32:05,777
-You're fuckin' done.
-Why was Thor crying?
2217
01:32:05,810 --> 01:32:06,845
[Mr. Paradox] How dare you!
2218
01:32:06,878 --> 01:32:09,414
No one comes back
from The Void.
2219
01:32:09,447 --> 01:32:11,016
Tell that to Cassandra Nova.
2220
01:32:12,017 --> 01:32:14,219
[♪ choral music playing]
2221
01:32:19,691 --> 01:32:21,826
Paradox. We have a problem.
2222
01:32:22,594 --> 01:32:23,795
[bones snap]
2223
01:32:24,596 --> 01:32:25,964
[Cassandra] Paradox.
2224
01:32:28,133 --> 01:32:30,702
Well, you are doughier than
you looked in Pyro's head.
2225
01:32:30,735 --> 01:32:31,970
You tried to kill me.
2226
01:32:32,003 --> 01:32:33,938
I literally have no i--
2227
01:32:33,972 --> 01:32:35,807
[Cassandra]
You come for the king,
2228
01:32:35,840 --> 01:32:37,709
you better kill the king.
2229
01:32:37,742 --> 01:32:38,843
[Deadpool] Oh-ho-ho!
2230
01:32:38,877 --> 01:32:41,079
Welcome to
the skull fuck club, Paradox.
2231
01:32:41,112 --> 01:32:43,648
You know she doesn't
wash that hand.
2232
01:32:43,682 --> 01:32:45,150
-Oh.
-[grunting strainfully]
2233
01:32:45,183 --> 01:32:46,284
What's this?
2234
01:32:47,552 --> 01:32:48,753
A Time Ripper?
2235
01:32:48,788 --> 01:32:49,821
Naughty boy.
2236
01:32:49,854 --> 01:32:51,222
[Deadpool] Oh, no.
We're on it.
2237
01:32:51,256 --> 01:32:52,590
We're gonna head down
and dismantle
that thing now.
2238
01:32:52,624 --> 01:32:55,026
We got ya, boo.
You just keep
playing those keys.
2239
01:32:55,060 --> 01:32:56,861
I don't want to destroy it.
2240
01:32:57,395 --> 01:32:59,064
I want to use it.
2241
01:32:59,097 --> 01:33:01,900
Now, shoo. Mummy and Daddy
are having a conversation.
2242
01:33:01,933 --> 01:33:03,468
[both yelling]
2243
01:33:07,305 --> 01:33:08,440
[groans]
2244
01:33:08,473 --> 01:33:10,408
You know, the funny thing is,
2245
01:33:10,442 --> 01:33:12,610
I was happy in The Void.
2246
01:33:12,644 --> 01:33:15,880
You sent your trash to me.
Alioth and I cleaned it up.
2247
01:33:15,914 --> 01:33:18,550
Everyone was happy.
2248
01:33:18,583 --> 01:33:21,953
And then you had to
go and piss on
my side of the fence.
2249
01:33:21,986 --> 01:33:24,856
And so now the fence
must come down.
2250
01:33:24,889 --> 01:33:26,858
I'm going to use
your little Time Ripper.
2251
01:33:26,891 --> 01:33:29,661
And I'm going to destroy
this universe
2252
01:33:29,694 --> 01:33:32,364
and the next and the next
and the next
2253
01:33:32,397 --> 01:33:36,067
until all that's left
is The Void.
2254
01:33:36,101 --> 01:33:38,670
And I get to play God.
2255
01:33:38,703 --> 01:33:40,038
-Come on.
-[Mr. Paradox groans]
2256
01:33:40,071 --> 01:33:41,239
Now you're going to show me
2257
01:33:41,272 --> 01:33:42,941
how to use
this fancy gadget of yours.
2258
01:33:42,974 --> 01:33:44,943
And don't worry,
I've called some friends
2259
01:33:44,976 --> 01:33:46,578
to make sure
we're not disturbed.
2260
01:33:49,748 --> 01:33:51,015
-[knock at door]
-Sorry to bother, madam,
2261
01:33:51,049 --> 01:33:53,084
but there's something
you need to see.
2262
01:33:53,118 --> 01:33:55,553
We're getting indications
of an unsanctioned Time Ripper
2263
01:33:55,587 --> 01:33:57,922
activating on Earth-10005.
2264
01:33:59,557 --> 01:34:00,925
Whose district is that?
2265
01:34:01,526 --> 01:34:02,527
Paradox.
2266
01:34:10,836 --> 01:34:12,971
[Mr. Paradox gasps, exhales]
2267
01:34:14,005 --> 01:34:16,274
Well, thank you so much
for your help, darling.
2268
01:34:16,307 --> 01:34:18,510
God. Good to get out
of that head.
2269
01:34:18,543 --> 01:34:20,578
Whew! What a mess!
2270
01:34:21,746 --> 01:34:23,314
[both groaning]
2271
01:34:28,052 --> 01:34:29,187
[Deadpool] Stop!
2272
01:34:29,220 --> 01:34:31,222
Let's give it a beat
for the extras to clear.
2273
01:34:31,256 --> 01:34:33,491
Go, go, go, go, go!
Oh, my God!
2274
01:34:38,129 --> 01:34:41,065
-Oh. My. God.
-Fuck.
2275
01:34:42,300 --> 01:34:45,170
[♪ classic rock music plays,
"Make Me Lose Control"]
2276
01:34:48,673 --> 01:34:50,308
[Deadpool] It's her!
2277
01:34:51,176 --> 01:34:53,244
-Come on, girl!
-[Dogpool barks]
2278
01:34:54,379 --> 01:34:55,246
[barks]
2279
01:34:55,280 --> 01:34:57,515
♪ Was love always this good ♪
2280
01:34:57,549 --> 01:34:59,785
♪ Or could this be
just the start? ♪
2281
01:34:59,819 --> 01:35:01,186
Come on, girl!
2282
01:35:02,120 --> 01:35:04,055
♪ Baby, baby ♪
2283
01:35:04,088 --> 01:35:09,127
♪ Turn the radio up
for that sweet sound ♪
2284
01:35:09,160 --> 01:35:13,097
♪ Hold me close,
never let me go ♪
2285
01:35:13,131 --> 01:35:15,533
♪ Keep this feelin' alive... ♪
2286
01:35:15,567 --> 01:35:16,769
That's my girl!
2287
01:35:16,802 --> 01:35:18,236
We don't have to be apart
2288
01:35:18,269 --> 01:35:20,271
ever, ever again.
Never, ever...
2289
01:35:20,305 --> 01:35:21,673
-Sorry!
-[Deadpool] Fuck!
2290
01:35:21,706 --> 01:35:22,740
[♪ song stops]
2291
01:35:22,775 --> 01:35:24,509
What's Cafe Gratitude
doing here?
2292
01:35:24,542 --> 01:35:26,044
-Sorry about that.
-[Dogpool whimpering]
2293
01:35:26,077 --> 01:35:28,213
[Deadpool] Tremble not,
sweet Mary Puppins.
2294
01:35:28,246 --> 01:35:30,014
[whispers] I'll handle him.
2295
01:35:30,048 --> 01:35:31,382
Come here, girl.
Papa's here.
2296
01:35:31,416 --> 01:35:34,285
[Deadpool] Hey, do not insult
this animal's autonomy.
2297
01:35:34,319 --> 01:35:36,654
She can decide
who her papa is.
2298
01:35:36,688 --> 01:35:37,823
What's it gonna be, girl, huh?
2299
01:35:37,857 --> 01:35:40,258
Original recipe
or Van Milder here?
2300
01:35:40,291 --> 01:35:44,429
Ah, that's funny. I can gently
tap the fourth wall too.
2301
01:35:44,462 --> 01:35:45,597
The Proposal.
2302
01:35:47,065 --> 01:35:48,199
[Deadpool] The fuck was that?
2303
01:35:48,233 --> 01:35:49,869
Bitch, you think
that's what I do?
2304
01:35:49,902 --> 01:35:51,169
Both of you shut up.
2305
01:35:51,202 --> 01:35:53,004
-[sniffs]
-You smell somethin'?
2306
01:35:53,037 --> 01:35:54,072
Yeah, you.
2307
01:35:54,105 --> 01:35:56,441
-[sniffs]
-A lot of you.
2308
01:35:56,474 --> 01:35:59,143
[♪ dramatic mysterious
music playing]
2309
01:36:10,388 --> 01:36:11,556
[tink]
2310
01:36:11,589 --> 01:36:13,993
Told you there were
a lot of Deadpools over there.
2311
01:36:14,025 --> 01:36:16,227
[♪ dramatic music continues]
2312
01:36:25,637 --> 01:36:26,772
[Deadpool] That's bad.
2313
01:36:44,957 --> 01:36:46,291
[neck cracks]
2314
01:36:48,059 --> 01:36:49,160
[♪ music fades out]
2315
01:36:49,193 --> 01:36:50,595
I take it
they're not friendly.
2316
01:36:50,628 --> 01:36:51,496
[Nicepool] Goodness, no.
2317
01:36:51,529 --> 01:36:53,598
Sorry about this, boys.
Mission over.
2318
01:36:53,631 --> 01:36:56,701
Cause of death, one hundred
kill-thirsty Deadpools.
2319
01:36:56,734 --> 01:36:57,569
They're dumb.
2320
01:36:57,602 --> 01:36:59,437
But they can fight.
Not me, though.
2321
01:36:59,470 --> 01:37:02,140
Would love to get in the mix,
but I have low bone density
2322
01:37:02,173 --> 01:37:04,043
and I have to keep
my face safe.
2323
01:37:04,075 --> 01:37:05,343
[Deadpool smooches]
Hold, please.
2324
01:37:05,376 --> 01:37:07,245
-Oh, God.
-[Deadpool] All right. Look.
2325
01:37:07,780 --> 01:37:08,781
Guys!
2326
01:37:09,949 --> 01:37:11,649
Deadpool Prime here.
2327
01:37:11,683 --> 01:37:13,251
-Our fight isn't with you--
-[kid] Hey!
2328
01:37:13,284 --> 01:37:14,719
When I want your opinion,
2329
01:37:14,752 --> 01:37:17,088
I'll take Wolverine's dick
out of your mouth.
2330
01:37:17,121 --> 01:37:18,891
That's Kidpool.
She's the dirtiest.
2331
01:37:18,924 --> 01:37:20,091
[Deadpool]
Can we just be done?
2332
01:37:20,124 --> 01:37:21,994
[Ladypool] Ooh,
we're just getting started.
2333
01:37:22,027 --> 01:37:23,062
[Deadpool] No, no, no, no, no.
2334
01:37:23,094 --> 01:37:25,563
With the whole
multiverse thing.
2335
01:37:26,497 --> 01:37:27,833
It's not great.
2336
01:37:27,866 --> 01:37:29,200
It's just been miss
2337
01:37:29,567 --> 01:37:31,070
after miss
2338
01:37:31,102 --> 01:37:33,137
after miss.
2339
01:37:33,171 --> 01:37:35,473
Look, The Wizard of Oz
did the multiverse first,
2340
01:37:35,506 --> 01:37:38,343
and they did it best.
The gays knew it.
2341
01:37:38,376 --> 01:37:39,577
But we didn't listen.
2342
01:37:39,611 --> 01:37:42,614
Let's just take the L
and move on.
2343
01:37:42,647 --> 01:37:45,216
I think it's been
steadily great since Endgame.
2344
01:37:45,249 --> 01:37:46,819
[Ladypool]
What are you talking about?
2345
01:37:46,852 --> 01:37:48,419
The multiverse is over.
2346
01:37:48,453 --> 01:37:49,721
[Cowboypool]
Cassandy gonna destroy
2347
01:37:49,754 --> 01:37:51,456
the fuck outta every timeline.
2348
01:37:51,489 --> 01:37:52,958
Heh. Y'all can't do shit
about it.
2349
01:37:52,992 --> 01:37:54,026
[Deadpool] Do you not get it?
2350
01:37:54,059 --> 01:37:55,159
If we don't go down
to the subway
2351
01:37:55,193 --> 01:37:56,227
and stop her, we all die.
2352
01:37:56,260 --> 01:37:57,362
[Cowboypool]
Say, the boss lady
2353
01:37:57,395 --> 01:37:58,563
don't want no disturbances.
2354
01:37:58,596 --> 01:38:00,365
You wanna get down
to the subway,
2355
01:38:00,398 --> 01:38:01,666
you gotta go through us.
2356
01:38:01,699 --> 01:38:02,935
Uzi time, baby.
2357
01:38:02,968 --> 01:38:04,003
[Ladypool] Uzi time, baby.
2358
01:38:04,036 --> 01:38:05,336
[Deadpool] Look alive!
2359
01:38:05,971 --> 01:38:07,238
[Headpool yells]
2360
01:38:13,645 --> 01:38:14,512
[grunts]
2361
01:38:14,545 --> 01:38:16,347
-I think I'm hit.
-[Wolverine] No shit.
2362
01:38:16,381 --> 01:38:17,415
You did that on purpose.
2363
01:38:17,448 --> 01:38:19,183
[Deadpool]
I did no such thing!
2364
01:38:19,217 --> 01:38:20,385
Listen to me, gorgeous.
2365
01:38:20,418 --> 01:38:21,854
How long does it take
for you to regenerate?
2366
01:38:21,887 --> 01:38:23,287
Regenerate?
2367
01:38:25,189 --> 01:38:27,458
-[crow caws]
-[Dogpool grunts]
2368
01:38:27,826 --> 01:38:29,327
[retches]
2369
01:38:29,360 --> 01:38:31,195
You really are
God's perfect idiot,
aren't you?
2370
01:38:31,229 --> 01:38:32,630
-I'm okay.
-[Deadpool] How dare you!
2371
01:38:32,664 --> 01:38:34,699
You insensitive
son of a bitch!
2372
01:38:34,732 --> 01:38:36,902
How was I supposed to know
he doesn't regenerate?
2373
01:38:36,935 --> 01:38:38,436
I'm not a medicine woman.
2374
01:38:38,469 --> 01:38:40,806
Look. A donut cart.
They're practically hospitals.
2375
01:38:40,839 --> 01:38:41,706
-What?
-[Deadpool] They sell
2376
01:38:41,739 --> 01:38:43,174
-portable triage units.
-They don't.
2377
01:38:43,207 --> 01:38:44,342
[Deadpool] I'm gonna
get you to safety.
2378
01:38:44,375 --> 01:38:46,310
-He's not.
-[Deadpool] Deep breath.
2379
01:38:53,551 --> 01:38:54,385
[panting]
2380
01:38:54,419 --> 01:38:56,521
Hey, why are we stopping?
2381
01:38:56,554 --> 01:38:57,856
[Deadpool]
I'm just catching my breath.
2382
01:38:57,890 --> 01:39:00,826
What, are your legs on
vacation? You're dead weight!
2383
01:39:00,859 --> 01:39:02,427
That's because I'm paralyzed.
2384
01:39:02,460 --> 01:39:04,763
[Deadpool]
We all have problems.
Listen to me.
2385
01:39:04,797 --> 01:39:05,798
You're gonna live.
2386
01:39:06,899 --> 01:39:08,100
Look at me, Nicepool.
2387
01:39:08,133 --> 01:39:09,701
[gunfire continues]
2388
01:39:12,071 --> 01:39:13,404
You're gonna live.
2389
01:39:13,972 --> 01:39:15,373
Say it!
2390
01:39:15,808 --> 01:39:17,341
I'm gonna live.
2391
01:39:17,375 --> 01:39:19,444
Say it with me.
You're gonna live.
2392
01:39:19,477 --> 01:39:21,646
[fumbling] I'm gonna live!
2393
01:39:21,679 --> 01:39:25,216
[Deadpool] Ha-hah!
Say it louder!
2394
01:39:25,249 --> 01:39:26,584
I'm gonna live--
2395
01:39:29,687 --> 01:39:30,823
[gunfire]
2396
01:39:35,326 --> 01:39:36,862
Hold your fire!
2397
01:39:38,797 --> 01:39:40,231
Sweet little puppy.
2398
01:39:50,241 --> 01:39:51,743
[Deadpool grunting]
God damn it!
2399
01:39:51,777 --> 01:39:53,879
I don't think
he's gonna make it.
2400
01:39:53,912 --> 01:39:55,613
God, he loved his face.
2401
01:39:55,646 --> 01:39:58,217
I can taste his final thought.
2402
01:39:58,249 --> 01:39:59,885
He was so afraid.
2403
01:39:59,918 --> 01:40:01,086
But he died a hero.
2404
01:40:01,120 --> 01:40:03,155
He died from murder,
you dumb fuck.
2405
01:40:03,188 --> 01:40:05,023
[Deadpool] And all I have
to remember him by
2406
01:40:05,958 --> 01:40:07,692
are these two gold-plated,
2407
01:40:07,725 --> 01:40:09,995
.50 caliber
Desert Eagle pistoleros.
2408
01:40:10,028 --> 01:40:11,029
This is for him.
2409
01:40:11,729 --> 01:40:13,297
Are you ready?
2410
01:40:13,331 --> 01:40:15,234
I get to kill a hundred yous?
2411
01:40:15,266 --> 01:40:16,634
Fuck yeah, I'm ready.
2412
01:40:17,502 --> 01:40:19,037
Hey, you don't want
to see this, bub.
2413
01:40:19,071 --> 01:40:20,304
[Deadpool] That's a good girl.
2414
01:40:20,338 --> 01:40:23,274
[♪ '80s pop music plays,
Madonna "Like a Prayer"]
2415
01:40:24,575 --> 01:40:29,047
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
2416
01:40:29,081 --> 01:40:33,351
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
2417
01:40:33,384 --> 01:40:38,190
♪ I hear you call my name ♪
2418
01:40:38,223 --> 01:40:42,027
♪ And it feels like ♪
2419
01:40:42,928 --> 01:40:44,830
♪ Home... ♪
2420
01:40:57,109 --> 01:40:58,676
[Deadpool] Holy shit.
2421
01:40:58,709 --> 01:41:01,079
You save the good stuff
for special occasions?
2422
01:41:01,113 --> 01:41:02,446
Killing, mostly.
2423
01:41:02,480 --> 01:41:03,581
[Deadpool]
What's the wind resistance
2424
01:41:03,614 --> 01:41:04,715
on those blowjob handles?
2425
01:41:04,749 --> 01:41:06,785
-[grunts]
-[laughs] I'm sorry.
2426
01:41:06,819 --> 01:41:09,453
I'm just a catty bitch
when I'm jealous.
2427
01:41:09,487 --> 01:41:11,156
All right, let's do this.
2428
01:41:11,190 --> 01:41:12,557
Maximum effort.
2429
01:41:15,194 --> 01:41:16,394
[♪ song pauses]
2430
01:41:19,965 --> 01:41:21,432
[Deadpools yelling]
2431
01:41:22,733 --> 01:41:24,136
-[♪ song resumes playing]
-[all grunting]
2432
01:41:24,169 --> 01:41:27,806
♪ When you call my name
It's like a little prayer ♪
2433
01:41:27,840 --> 01:41:32,044
♪ I'm down on my knees
I want to take you there ♪
2434
01:41:32,077 --> 01:41:36,281
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪
2435
01:41:36,315 --> 01:41:40,551
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪
2436
01:41:40,585 --> 01:41:44,555
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
2437
01:41:44,589 --> 01:41:48,726
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
2438
01:41:48,760 --> 01:41:52,097
♪ I hear you call my name ♪
2439
01:41:52,130 --> 01:41:53,364
You're dead.
2440
01:41:53,397 --> 01:41:57,401
♪ And it feels like ♪
2441
01:41:59,137 --> 01:42:00,605
[Deadpools yelling]
2442
01:42:00,638 --> 01:42:03,075
♪ Let the choir sing ♪
2443
01:42:03,108 --> 01:42:07,079
♪ When you call my name
It's like a little prayer ♪
2444
01:42:07,112 --> 01:42:11,515
♪ I'm down on my knees
I wanna take you there ♪
2445
01:42:11,549 --> 01:42:15,653
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪
2446
01:42:15,686 --> 01:42:19,091
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪
2447
01:42:19,124 --> 01:42:20,524
Motherfucker.
2448
01:42:21,260 --> 01:42:22,761
I wish I were deaf.
2449
01:42:22,794 --> 01:42:23,829
♪ I'll take you there ♪
2450
01:42:23,862 --> 01:42:25,630
♪ It's like a dream to me ♪
2451
01:42:25,663 --> 01:42:27,866
♪ Oh oh, yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
2452
01:42:27,900 --> 01:42:30,501
♪ Just like a prayer,
I'll take you there ♪
2453
01:42:30,534 --> 01:42:32,170
♪ Oh yeah, yeah ♪
2454
01:42:32,204 --> 01:42:34,472
♪ It's like a dream to me ♪
2455
01:42:34,505 --> 01:42:37,608
♪ Oh, oh ♪
2456
01:42:37,642 --> 01:42:41,046
♪ It's like a prayer... ♪
2457
01:42:42,747 --> 01:42:44,749
[crying Deadpool] I don't
wanna die. I don't wanna die.
2458
01:42:44,783 --> 01:42:45,884
I don't wanna...
2459
01:42:53,491 --> 01:42:55,693
[♪ outro music playing]
2460
01:42:57,896 --> 01:42:59,398
-[♪ song ends]
-[Deadpool grunts]
2461
01:42:59,430 --> 01:43:00,832
[Deadpool] Come on.
2462
01:43:00,866 --> 01:43:01,967
Oh, I blew it.
2463
01:43:02,000 --> 01:43:04,102
After all that, the only thing
they're gonna remember
2464
01:43:04,136 --> 01:43:05,971
is that God-awful dismount!
2465
01:43:06,905 --> 01:43:08,439
[giggling]
2466
01:43:10,641 --> 01:43:12,344
What you laughing at,
you little fucker?
2467
01:43:12,377 --> 01:43:13,577
[Babypool] Uh-oh.
2468
01:43:13,611 --> 01:43:14,880
[Deadpool] Uh-oh.
2469
01:43:14,913 --> 01:43:16,547
[Babypool cooing]
2470
01:43:17,082 --> 01:43:19,117
[Babypool giggling]
2471
01:43:19,151 --> 01:43:20,819
I guess these ones regenerate.
2472
01:43:22,720 --> 01:43:25,324
Come on.
We don't have time for this.
2473
01:43:25,357 --> 01:43:26,391
[Peter] Deadpools!
2474
01:43:26,425 --> 01:43:27,793
Stand down.
2475
01:43:28,794 --> 01:43:30,996
[♪ heroic music playing]
2476
01:43:38,203 --> 01:43:39,603
This Deadpool's with me.
2477
01:43:39,637 --> 01:43:41,106
[Deadpool] Oh, no.
2478
01:43:41,139 --> 01:43:42,506
[Ladypool] Holy shit.
2479
01:43:42,540 --> 01:43:44,109
[Kidpool]
That's fuckin' Peter!
2480
01:43:44,142 --> 01:43:45,710
[Deadpools cheering]
2481
01:43:47,012 --> 01:43:48,880
[Deadpool] Wait, you...
You guys know Peter?
2482
01:43:48,914 --> 01:43:50,983
[Ladypool] You kidding me?
Every Deadpool has a Peter.
2483
01:43:51,016 --> 01:43:53,418
[Cowboypool] Shit.
Peter's a goddamn legend
2484
01:43:53,452 --> 01:43:54,987
in every Deadpool's world.
2485
01:43:55,020 --> 01:43:57,356
Peter- san. Hai.
2486
01:43:57,389 --> 01:43:59,024
[Deadpools cheering]
2487
01:44:03,428 --> 01:44:04,528
[Peter laughs]
2488
01:44:04,562 --> 01:44:06,564
[Deadpools chanting]
Peter. Peter. Peter.
2489
01:44:06,597 --> 01:44:09,868
Peter. Peter. Peter.
Peter. Peter. Peter.
2490
01:44:09,901 --> 01:44:12,570
-Peter. Peter. Peter.
-[Peter laughing]
2491
01:44:12,603 --> 01:44:14,239
[Deadpool] Enjoy my Peter.
2492
01:44:15,573 --> 01:44:18,777
-[♪ tense music playing]
-[Time Ripper thrumming]
2493
01:44:34,292 --> 01:44:35,861
[Time Ripper whirring]
2494
01:44:41,665 --> 01:44:42,768
Oh, now you're here.
2495
01:44:42,801 --> 01:44:44,269
Oh, well, you're too late.
It's all over.
2496
01:44:44,302 --> 01:44:45,470
Not yet, it's not.
2497
01:44:45,504 --> 01:44:47,205
[Deadpool] Whoa. No, no, no.
We're very close.
2498
01:44:47,239 --> 01:44:48,606
Homestretch, folks. Promise.
2499
01:44:48,639 --> 01:44:50,342
Quick, let's up the stakes.
2500
01:44:50,375 --> 01:44:51,742
If she steals
the Time Ripper's energy,
2501
01:44:51,777 --> 01:44:54,413
she has the power to shred
the fabric of all realities
2502
01:44:54,446 --> 01:44:56,214
until there is nothing left
but The Void.
2503
01:44:56,248 --> 01:44:57,482
How do we shut it down?
2504
01:44:57,516 --> 01:44:58,682
I don't know.
2505
01:44:58,716 --> 01:45:00,318
[Mr. Paradox grunts]
2506
01:45:00,352 --> 01:45:01,585
[Wolverine] How about now?
2507
01:45:01,619 --> 01:45:02,821
[Deadpool] The mask
is really intimidating, huh?
2508
01:45:02,854 --> 01:45:05,157
It's like Batman,
except he can move his neck.
2509
01:45:05,190 --> 01:45:06,825
Okay, look, look, look.
2510
01:45:07,993 --> 01:45:10,561
The Ripper is fed from
a secure chamber below ground.
2511
01:45:10,594 --> 01:45:13,631
It is powered by twin matter
and anti-matter feeds
2512
01:45:13,664 --> 01:45:15,100
converging inside the device.
2513
01:45:15,133 --> 01:45:15,967
Now, Cassandra Nova
2514
01:45:16,001 --> 01:45:17,302
is redirecting
the Ripper's power
2515
01:45:17,335 --> 01:45:19,670
to eliminate all timelines,
starting with this one.
2516
01:45:19,703 --> 01:45:21,073
Theoretically,
you could stop her
2517
01:45:21,106 --> 01:45:23,075
by short-circuiting the feeds
in the chamber below.
2518
01:45:23,108 --> 01:45:25,709
One of you were to create a
circuit between the two feeds,
2519
01:45:25,743 --> 01:45:29,047
then the released power
would destroy the machine.
2520
01:45:29,081 --> 01:45:30,882
-But, well... But--
-[Deadpool] Come on, man.
2521
01:45:30,916 --> 01:45:33,018
If you're not gonna swallow,
spit it out.
2522
01:45:33,051 --> 01:45:36,388
Whoever formed the bridge
would be annihilated.
2523
01:45:36,421 --> 01:45:37,755
I could live with that.
2524
01:45:37,789 --> 01:45:39,124
[Deadpool] Yeah, I could live
with that, too, actually.
2525
01:45:39,157 --> 01:45:40,624
You know, we survive anything.
We're like cockroaches.
2526
01:45:40,658 --> 01:45:41,560
-[Deadpool chuckles]
-[Mr. Paradox] Not this time.
2527
01:45:41,592 --> 01:45:43,962
This is matter
and anti-matter.
2528
01:45:43,995 --> 01:45:46,031
They do not play nicely
with each other.
2529
01:45:46,064 --> 01:45:49,534
When they mix in your body,
you will be atomized.
2530
01:45:49,568 --> 01:45:51,635
Trust the laws of physics
if you don't trust me.
2531
01:45:51,669 --> 01:45:53,805
Even if you lived long enough
to make the circuit,
2532
01:45:53,839 --> 01:45:56,674
you will die down there.
2533
01:46:02,214 --> 01:46:03,348
[crackling]
2534
01:46:10,922 --> 01:46:13,325
[♪ dramatic choral
music playing]
2535
01:46:13,358 --> 01:46:14,759
[moaning]
2536
01:46:21,800 --> 01:46:23,368
[Wolverine] Hold off. Hold.
2537
01:46:23,401 --> 01:46:24,903
You heard
that asshole upstairs.
2538
01:46:24,936 --> 01:46:29,640
Even if we pull this off,
we're dead. Permanently.
2539
01:46:29,673 --> 01:46:31,910
-That's why it's got to be me.
-What?
2540
01:46:35,679 --> 01:46:37,681
Look, man... [panting]
2541
01:46:37,715 --> 01:46:40,051
you didn't ask
for any of this.
2542
01:46:40,085 --> 01:46:41,419
You were right.
2543
01:46:41,453 --> 01:46:42,653
I lied.
2544
01:46:43,355 --> 01:46:45,023
I lied right to your face
2545
01:46:45,056 --> 01:46:47,159
just to get you to help me.
And you did.
2546
01:46:48,093 --> 01:46:49,660
You didn't lie.
2547
01:46:51,463 --> 01:46:52,964
You made an educated wish.
2548
01:46:56,034 --> 01:46:57,035
Come on.
2549
01:46:58,036 --> 01:47:00,038
You got a whole world
to go back to.
2550
01:47:01,540 --> 01:47:02,740
I got nothin'.
2551
01:47:04,675 --> 01:47:05,877
I got nothin'.
2552
01:47:10,748 --> 01:47:11,950
Give me this.
2553
01:47:18,990 --> 01:47:20,158
Hey.
2554
01:47:24,563 --> 01:47:26,431
I waited a long time
for this team-up.
2555
01:47:28,667 --> 01:47:29,935
You know something?
2556
01:47:31,670 --> 01:47:33,271
You were the best Wolverine.
2557
01:47:34,039 --> 01:47:36,241
[♪ sentimental music playing]
2558
01:47:41,980 --> 01:47:44,015
Say hi to your friends for me.
2559
01:47:52,691 --> 01:47:53,959
[Wolverine grunts]
2560
01:47:56,194 --> 01:47:57,229
No!
2561
01:47:57,262 --> 01:47:58,463
Open the door!
2562
01:47:58,496 --> 01:48:00,999
[Deadpool] I can't hear you
over all the noble sacrifice.
2563
01:48:01,032 --> 01:48:02,634
Why are you
fucking doing this?
2564
01:48:02,667 --> 01:48:05,770
[Deadpool]
Because I'm Marvel Jesus.
2565
01:48:07,339 --> 01:48:08,340
Or Spock.
2566
01:48:09,541 --> 01:48:10,575
Hard to say.
2567
01:48:10,609 --> 01:48:11,943
[glass squeaks]
2568
01:48:13,211 --> 01:48:14,312
[smooches]
2569
01:48:15,247 --> 01:48:16,681
[Wolverine] Wade!
2570
01:48:16,715 --> 01:48:18,883
You fucking idiot!
2571
01:48:22,753 --> 01:48:25,557
[Deadpool laughs]
Sorry, I'm just stalling.
2572
01:48:25,590 --> 01:48:27,492
I think I'm nervous
about dying.
2573
01:48:28,360 --> 01:48:29,995
This should be me.
2574
01:48:30,028 --> 01:48:31,830
[Deadpool] Say hi to
my friends for me, peanut.
2575
01:48:31,863 --> 01:48:33,131
[Wolverine] Wade!
2576
01:48:33,164 --> 01:48:35,166
You want to be
an annoying prick,
do it this side!
2577
01:48:35,200 --> 01:48:37,435
You're gonna die in there,
you dumb fuck!
2578
01:48:37,469 --> 01:48:38,970
[breathing heavily]
2579
01:48:44,209 --> 01:48:46,278
Hey! You don't need
to do this.
2580
01:48:46,311 --> 01:48:48,213
[Deadpool] I'm not doing it
'cause I need it.
2581
01:48:49,047 --> 01:48:51,349
I'm doing it
because they do.
2582
01:48:51,383 --> 01:48:52,517
[grunts]
2583
01:48:54,786 --> 01:48:56,554
[straining]
2584
01:49:02,227 --> 01:49:03,428
No!
2585
01:49:04,362 --> 01:49:05,497
[grunting]
2586
01:49:07,632 --> 01:49:09,200
[straining]
2587
01:49:17,108 --> 01:49:18,143
[grunts]
2588
01:49:19,811 --> 01:49:21,413
[straining]
2589
01:49:27,852 --> 01:49:29,220
[exhales]
2590
01:49:29,954 --> 01:49:31,256
[continues straining]
2591
01:49:32,724 --> 01:49:34,326
He's not gonna make it.
2592
01:49:37,729 --> 01:49:39,097
[strains]
2593
01:49:42,901 --> 01:49:44,169
It's over.
2594
01:49:45,837 --> 01:49:47,038
[grunts]
2595
01:49:47,739 --> 01:49:49,074
[straining]
2596
01:49:52,344 --> 01:49:53,912
[continues straining]
2597
01:49:56,782 --> 01:49:57,916
[screaming]
2598
01:49:57,949 --> 01:49:59,017
[choir]
♪ When you call my name ♪
2599
01:49:59,050 --> 01:50:00,952
♪ It's like a little prayer ♪
2600
01:50:00,985 --> 01:50:03,054
♪ I'm down on my knees ♪
2601
01:50:03,088 --> 01:50:05,323
♪ I want to take you there ♪
2602
01:50:05,357 --> 01:50:09,260
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪
2603
01:50:09,294 --> 01:50:12,530
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪
2604
01:50:12,564 --> 01:50:13,698
[grunting]
2605
01:50:13,732 --> 01:50:15,633
♪ Take you there ♪
2606
01:50:15,667 --> 01:50:19,738
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
2607
01:50:19,772 --> 01:50:22,674
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
2608
01:50:22,707 --> 01:50:24,442
[straining]
2609
01:50:24,476 --> 01:50:28,146
-♪ I hear you call my name ♪
-[grunting]
2610
01:50:28,179 --> 01:50:30,181
-♪ And it feels like ♪
-[straining]
2611
01:50:32,517 --> 01:50:36,521
-♪ And it feels like home ♪
-[straining]
2612
01:50:36,554 --> 01:50:38,056
[rumbling]
2613
01:50:44,662 --> 01:50:46,264
[yelling]
2614
01:50:46,698 --> 01:50:48,299
[screaming]
2615
01:50:50,368 --> 01:50:51,569
[♪ music fades]
2616
01:50:51,603 --> 01:50:53,071
[Deadpool] The Wolverine.
2617
01:50:53,938 --> 01:50:55,974
He's a hero in my world.
2618
01:50:58,009 --> 01:50:59,144
[Wolverine] Whoever
you think I am,
2619
01:50:59,177 --> 01:51:00,612
you got the wrong guy.
2620
01:51:02,046 --> 01:51:04,048
[Laura] You were always
the wrong guy...
2621
01:51:05,483 --> 01:51:06,518
till you weren't.
2622
01:51:06,551 --> 01:51:08,987
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
2623
01:51:09,020 --> 01:51:10,422
[Mr. Paradox] Wade.
2624
01:51:10,455 --> 01:51:12,457
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
2625
01:51:12,490 --> 01:51:16,961
Wade. You can finally,
finally matter.
2626
01:51:16,995 --> 01:51:19,130
♪ I hear you call my name♪
2627
01:51:19,164 --> 01:51:23,601
♪ And it feels like ♪
2628
01:51:24,536 --> 01:51:28,373
♪ Home ♪
2629
01:51:28,406 --> 01:51:29,707
[straining]
2630
01:51:29,741 --> 01:51:32,778
♪ I hear your voice ♪
2631
01:51:32,812 --> 01:51:34,078
Vanessa.
2632
01:51:34,112 --> 01:51:36,614
♪ It's like an angel sighing ♪
2633
01:51:36,648 --> 01:51:38,016
I wanna see Vanessa.
2634
01:51:38,049 --> 01:51:42,287
♪ I have no choice
I hear your voice ♪
2635
01:51:42,320 --> 01:51:44,522
♪ Feels like flying ♪
2636
01:51:44,556 --> 01:51:49,127
For the first time in my life,
I am proud to wear this suit.
2637
01:51:50,094 --> 01:51:52,030
It means I'm an X-Man.
2638
01:51:54,432 --> 01:51:55,901
I am the X-Man.
2639
01:51:55,935 --> 01:51:57,837
♪ I can feel your power ♪
2640
01:51:57,870 --> 01:52:01,573
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪
2641
01:52:01,606 --> 01:52:02,808
[screaming]
2642
01:52:02,842 --> 01:52:06,144
♪ When you call my name
It's like a little prayer ♪
2643
01:52:06,177 --> 01:52:08,680
♪ I'm down on my knees ♪
2644
01:52:08,713 --> 01:52:10,348
[screaming]
2645
01:52:10,381 --> 01:52:14,252
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪
2646
01:52:14,285 --> 01:52:15,821
♪ Just like a prayer♪
2647
01:52:15,855 --> 01:52:19,758
♪ You know I'll take you,
take you, take you ♪
2648
01:52:22,093 --> 01:52:23,394
[♪ song fades out]
2649
01:52:30,635 --> 01:52:32,637
[♪ solemn music playing]
2650
01:52:39,979 --> 01:52:41,613
[woman] Paradox.
2651
01:52:43,481 --> 01:52:44,917
You've been busy.
2652
01:52:44,950 --> 01:52:46,184
Well, somebody had to be.
2653
01:52:46,217 --> 01:52:48,086
We had some strange readings
from this location.
2654
01:52:48,119 --> 01:52:49,320
You wouldn't know
anything about
2655
01:52:49,354 --> 01:52:51,857
an unsanctioned Time Ripper,
would you?
2656
01:52:51,891 --> 01:52:53,491
Uh, no. No.
I wouldn't know anything
2657
01:52:53,525 --> 01:52:55,193
about an unsanctioned
Time Ripper.
2658
01:52:55,226 --> 01:52:56,929
Maybe you should ask
Cassandra Nova.
2659
01:52:56,962 --> 01:52:58,096
Because I was assured
2660
01:52:58,129 --> 01:53:00,532
that she was safely held
in The Void. But no,
2661
01:53:00,565 --> 01:53:02,801
she was here.
And she fondled my brain.
2662
01:53:02,835 --> 01:53:05,103
-How did you let this happen?
-You weren't involved at all?
2663
01:53:05,136 --> 01:53:07,840
In stopping her, yes!
Yes, I was.
2664
01:53:07,873 --> 01:53:09,407
But not nearly enough.
2665
01:53:09,440 --> 01:53:11,810
Not as much as the men
who went down there after her.
2666
01:53:12,544 --> 01:53:13,611
My men.
2667
01:53:14,412 --> 01:53:15,413
My friends.
2668
01:53:16,748 --> 01:53:17,917
I warned them.
2669
01:53:17,950 --> 01:53:19,417
That they would be completely
obliterated if they went.
2670
01:53:19,450 --> 01:53:21,185
But they went anyway. Like...
2671
01:53:22,821 --> 01:53:24,222
Like heroes.
2672
01:53:24,255 --> 01:53:25,958
[♪ somber music playing]
2673
01:53:25,991 --> 01:53:27,725
Because that's who they were.
2674
01:53:30,428 --> 01:53:32,163
They just did
what they had to do.
2675
01:53:33,298 --> 01:53:35,166
With no concern
for their own safety.
2676
01:53:38,469 --> 01:53:42,007
The fact that we are
all still standing here
2677
01:53:42,041 --> 01:53:44,843
is a testament
to their heroism.
2678
01:53:48,413 --> 01:53:49,848
Anyway, there's nothing
you or I can do
2679
01:53:49,882 --> 01:53:51,115
to bring them back now.
2680
01:53:52,584 --> 01:53:54,686
[Deadpool] He has risen,
baby girl.
2681
01:53:54,719 --> 01:53:55,788
Fuck!
2682
01:53:55,821 --> 01:54:00,291
♪ And I don't want
the world to see me ♪
2683
01:54:00,325 --> 01:54:05,196
♪ 'Cause I don't think
that they'd understand ♪
2684
01:54:05,229 --> 01:54:09,334
♪ When everything's
made to be broken ♪
2685
01:54:09,367 --> 01:54:15,139
♪ I just want you
to know who I am ♪
2686
01:54:15,173 --> 01:54:16,374
[Deadpool]
Found your new Anchor Being.
2687
01:54:16,407 --> 01:54:19,210
And we're doing just fine,
you piece of shit.
2688
01:54:19,243 --> 01:54:20,779
-[female TVA agent] Mm.
-[male TVA agent] Mm-hmm.
2689
01:54:20,813 --> 01:54:22,280
Fine indeed.
2690
01:54:22,313 --> 01:54:25,216
[Deadpool] All right.
Put your greasy tits away,
2691
01:54:25,249 --> 01:54:26,317
you preening slut.
2692
01:54:26,351 --> 01:54:28,821
-[sighs]
-I don't understand.
2693
01:54:28,854 --> 01:54:30,288
How are you two still alive?
2694
01:54:30,321 --> 01:54:32,190
[Deadpool] You were right. One
of us would have been killed.
2695
01:54:32,223 --> 01:54:34,026
-[gasps]
-But you put a Deadpool
2696
01:54:34,059 --> 01:54:35,393
and a Wolverine together,
2697
01:54:35,426 --> 01:54:37,796
make 'em hold hands
while listening to Madonna...
2698
01:54:37,830 --> 01:54:40,264
indestructible, motherfucker.
2699
01:54:40,298 --> 01:54:42,367
Let's get this Deadpool
Variant back to The Void.
2700
01:54:42,400 --> 01:54:43,701
[Deadpool] Wait, hold on.
What?
2701
01:54:43,735 --> 01:54:44,770
[Peter] Nope. Actually...
2702
01:54:44,803 --> 01:54:46,537
This one's homegrown, like me.
2703
01:54:46,571 --> 01:54:47,873
He belongs here.
2704
01:54:47,906 --> 01:54:48,941
And you are?
2705
01:54:48,974 --> 01:54:51,709
Peterpool.
But you can call me Peter.
2706
01:54:53,211 --> 01:54:54,512
And I hope that you do.
2707
01:55:00,652 --> 01:55:02,286
What the fuck
is happening here?
2708
01:55:02,320 --> 01:55:04,155
You are under judgment
2709
01:55:04,188 --> 01:55:06,190
for operating
an unsanctioned Time Ripper.
2710
01:55:06,224 --> 01:55:07,392
-Take him.
-I was just doing what
2711
01:55:07,425 --> 01:55:09,028
you don't have
the guts to do.
2712
01:55:09,061 --> 01:55:10,129
[Deadpool smooches]
2713
01:55:10,161 --> 01:55:12,931
Get your insolent hands
off me! Get off!
2714
01:55:14,133 --> 01:55:15,868
I'm grateful, gentlemen.
2715
01:55:16,734 --> 01:55:17,735
Let's hold the bows.
2716
01:55:17,770 --> 01:55:20,371
You led an Omega-level mutant
to this timeline.
2717
01:55:20,405 --> 01:55:22,074
-[Deadpool] You're welcome.
-And you
2718
01:55:22,107 --> 01:55:23,574
shouldn't even be
near this timeline.
2719
01:55:23,608 --> 01:55:25,878
-[Deadpool] He's welcome.
-And you
2720
01:55:25,911 --> 01:55:27,745
look damn good in that suit.
2721
01:55:27,780 --> 01:55:28,881
I'm so sorry.
2722
01:55:29,647 --> 01:55:30,783
[device beeping]
2723
01:55:33,284 --> 01:55:34,920
I wanna show you something.
2724
01:55:35,988 --> 01:55:37,288
Something huge.
2725
01:55:37,321 --> 01:55:39,257
[Deadpool] That's what
Scoutmaster Kevin used to say.
2726
01:55:40,759 --> 01:55:42,326
Do you see that?
2727
01:55:42,360 --> 01:55:44,228
Your universe is regenerating.
2728
01:55:45,097 --> 01:55:46,865
Whatever you did here,
2729
01:55:46,899 --> 01:55:49,200
you not only saved your world.
2730
01:55:49,233 --> 01:55:51,736
You spared your timeline
from extinction.
2731
01:55:53,604 --> 01:55:54,773
I'd rest up.
2732
01:55:54,807 --> 01:55:57,241
I have a feeling your work
is only just getting started.
2733
01:55:57,275 --> 01:55:59,610
[Deadpool whispers]
Till you're 90.
2734
01:55:59,644 --> 01:56:01,379
Wait! Um...
2735
01:56:01,412 --> 01:56:05,017
We couldn't have made it out
of The Void without some help
2736
01:56:05,050 --> 01:56:07,986
from some people
that the world kind of...
2737
01:56:08,020 --> 01:56:09,320
kind of forgot.
2738
01:56:09,353 --> 01:56:11,957
Is there any way that
you could maybe find a way
2739
01:56:11,990 --> 01:56:13,324
to bring them home?
2740
01:56:14,927 --> 01:56:16,260
I'll see what I can do.
2741
01:56:16,294 --> 01:56:18,797
[Deadpool] And, um,
I promised my friend here
2742
01:56:18,831 --> 01:56:21,599
that the TVA could undo
some pretty awful shit
2743
01:56:21,632 --> 01:56:22,500
in his timeline.
2744
01:56:22,533 --> 01:56:24,002
What would you say to that?
2745
01:56:24,036 --> 01:56:25,536
Change the past?
2746
01:56:25,570 --> 01:56:27,840
[Deadpool] Well, he did
help me save the world.
2747
01:56:27,873 --> 01:56:30,475
And his past made him
the man who did it.
2748
01:56:31,342 --> 01:56:33,745
There's nothing to fix,
Mr. Wilson.
2749
01:56:35,114 --> 01:56:36,347
Logan.
2750
01:56:39,717 --> 01:56:41,586
-[Deadpool] Shawarma? Yeah.
-I could eat.
2751
01:56:51,262 --> 01:56:53,698
You know, the Avengers
discovered shawarma.
2752
01:56:54,499 --> 01:56:56,400
They'd be lucky to have you.
2753
01:57:00,005 --> 01:57:01,807
[dog barking]
2754
01:57:03,508 --> 01:57:05,811
-Oh.
-Oh, come on.
2755
01:57:05,844 --> 01:57:06,879
Fuck off!
2756
01:57:08,013 --> 01:57:09,413
Come here, my little cunchkin.
2757
01:57:09,447 --> 01:57:10,983
-[Dogpool barks]
-Yes, it's you.
2758
01:57:11,016 --> 01:57:13,018
You're a survivor.
2759
01:57:13,051 --> 01:57:14,086
Mwah.
2760
01:57:14,119 --> 01:57:15,954
Oh, all is right in the world.
2761
01:57:17,189 --> 01:57:18,389
Yes, it is.
2762
01:57:20,025 --> 01:57:21,359
So what are you gonna do next?
2763
01:57:22,660 --> 01:57:24,863
I'll figure it out.
I always do.
2764
01:57:25,663 --> 01:57:26,765
All right.
2765
01:57:27,698 --> 01:57:29,433
So I'll probably
see you around?
2766
01:57:29,467 --> 01:57:31,970
[♪ soul music playing,
"You're All I Need to Get By"]
2767
01:57:34,106 --> 01:57:35,306
Probably not.
2768
01:57:38,376 --> 01:57:39,577
See you, bub.
2769
01:57:49,087 --> 01:57:50,354
[Wade] Logan.
2770
01:57:56,762 --> 01:57:58,496
Al. I'm back.
2771
01:57:58,964 --> 01:58:00,431
About damn time.
2772
01:58:00,464 --> 01:58:03,268
You holdin'? I'm all outta
devil's dandruff,
2773
01:58:03,302 --> 01:58:05,469
and I'm shaking
like an angry vibrator.
2774
01:58:05,503 --> 01:58:07,405
Thank you, Al.
We have company.
2775
01:58:08,106 --> 01:58:09,707
Althea, this is...
2776
01:58:10,309 --> 01:58:11,542
This is Logan.
2777
01:58:11,576 --> 01:58:13,611
-Nice to meet you, Logan.
-Nice to meet you, too.
2778
01:58:13,644 --> 01:58:17,282
And this little ancient anal
shit-knot is Mary Puppins.
2779
01:58:17,316 --> 01:58:19,750
Or as I like to call her,
Dogpool.
2780
01:58:19,785 --> 01:58:21,719
You want to treat yourself
to a little stroke?
2781
01:58:23,055 --> 01:58:26,191
-Get the tongue. There it is.
-Oh, my God! Motherfucker!
2782
01:58:26,225 --> 01:58:30,229
Right? It's like an armadillo
fucked a gremlin, angrily,
2783
01:58:30,262 --> 01:58:32,064
-in a bed of gonorrhea...
-Wow.
2784
01:58:32,097 --> 01:58:34,398
...and didn't stop till
the sun came up. [chuckles]
2785
01:58:35,433 --> 01:58:37,803
Everyone wants to matter.
2786
01:58:37,836 --> 01:58:41,173
Turns out that you don't need
to be Marvel Jesus to do it.
2787
01:58:41,206 --> 01:58:43,809
You just need to open
your eyes and look around.
2788
01:58:44,375 --> 01:58:45,576
And if you're lucky,
2789
01:58:46,377 --> 01:58:48,247
you'll find a few friends.
2790
01:58:48,280 --> 01:58:49,580
Old friends,
2791
01:58:50,414 --> 01:58:52,150
and some new ones too.
2792
01:58:53,819 --> 01:58:54,953
[laughter]
2793
01:58:56,721 --> 01:58:58,891
Give me the fucking dog.
Talk to the girl.
2794
01:59:03,561 --> 01:59:05,030
[indistinct chatter]
2795
01:59:09,268 --> 01:59:10,468
Oh, hi.
2796
01:59:10,501 --> 01:59:12,603
-Hi.
-[both laugh]
2797
01:59:12,637 --> 01:59:14,206
[Wade clears throat]
2798
01:59:14,239 --> 01:59:15,439
You've been busy.
2799
01:59:18,310 --> 01:59:19,912
I did it for you.
2800
01:59:21,746 --> 01:59:24,383
And even if you don't want me,
I... I did it for you.
2801
01:59:33,524 --> 01:59:35,260
Turns out,
2802
01:59:35,294 --> 01:59:37,528
I am the world-saving type.
2803
01:59:37,561 --> 01:59:39,765
Just look around this table
if you want proof.
2804
01:59:40,564 --> 01:59:41,767
And the best part?
2805
01:59:42,500 --> 01:59:44,502
Sometimes the people we save,
2806
01:59:45,337 --> 01:59:47,272
they save us right back.
2807
01:59:47,306 --> 01:59:48,774
[♪ "You're All I Need
to Get By" continues playing]
2808
01:59:48,807 --> 01:59:52,743
♪ We've got
the right foundation ♪
2809
01:59:52,778 --> 01:59:57,515
♪ And with the love
and determination ♪
2810
01:59:57,548 --> 02:00:02,854
♪ You're all,
you're all I need ♪
2811
02:00:02,888 --> 02:00:08,360
♪ You're all,
you're all I need ♪
2812
02:00:08,393 --> 02:00:10,395
♪ You're all ♪
2813
02:00:10,429 --> 02:00:15,100
♪ You're all
I need to get by ♪
2814
02:00:18,502 --> 02:00:22,107
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
2815
02:00:22,140 --> 02:00:25,143
[♪ alt. rock music plays,
Green Day "Time of Your Life"]
2816
02:00:26,878 --> 02:00:29,281
[Charles] You're not
the only one with gifts.
2817
02:00:29,314 --> 02:00:30,648
What is this place?
2818
02:00:40,759 --> 02:00:45,764
♪ Another turning point,
a fork stuck in the road ♪
2819
02:00:45,797 --> 02:00:50,068
♪ Time grabs you by the wrist,
directs you where to go ♪
2820
02:00:50,102 --> 02:00:51,370
[groans]
2821
02:00:51,403 --> 02:00:55,506
♪ So make the best of this
test and don't ask why ♪
2822
02:00:55,539 --> 02:00:59,444
♪ It's not a question, but
a lesson learned in time ♪
2823
02:00:59,478 --> 02:01:01,380
-Nice suit.
-Zip it, Stan Lee.
2824
02:01:01,413 --> 02:01:02,680
♪ It's something
unpredictable ♪
2825
02:01:02,713 --> 02:01:05,283
♪ But in the end is right ♪
2826
02:01:05,317 --> 02:01:09,087
♪ I hope you had
the time of your life... ♪
2827
02:01:09,121 --> 02:01:10,288
[laughter]
2828
02:01:10,322 --> 02:01:12,758
I really like the, uh...
the art in
the Deadpool comics.
2829
02:01:12,791 --> 02:01:15,093
You know, I just always felt
a kind of a kinship to him.
2830
02:01:15,127 --> 02:01:17,996
And I just thought,
I'd like to
play that guy someday.
2831
02:01:18,030 --> 02:01:23,335
♪ So take the photographs and
still frames in your mind ♪
2832
02:01:23,368 --> 02:01:28,206
♪ Hang it on a shelf in
good health and good time ♪
2833
02:01:28,240 --> 02:01:33,145
♪ Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial ♪
2834
02:01:33,178 --> 02:01:36,081
♪ For what it's worth,
it was worth ♪
2835
02:01:36,114 --> 02:01:38,250
-♪ All the while ♪
-[applause]
2836
02:01:38,283 --> 02:01:39,384
[cheering]
2837
02:01:39,418 --> 02:01:40,584
♪ It's something
unpredictable ♪
2838
02:01:40,618 --> 02:01:42,854
♪ But in the end is right ♪
2839
02:01:42,888 --> 02:01:46,458
♪ I hope you had
the time of your life... ♪
2840
02:01:46,491 --> 02:01:49,761
I was there for three weeks
before I shot a single thing.
2841
02:01:49,795 --> 02:01:52,030
At our first day of shooting,
2842
02:01:52,064 --> 02:01:53,899
I was so nervous, man.
2843
02:01:53,932 --> 02:01:56,101
Everyone was sort of going,
"Who's this guy?"
2844
02:01:56,134 --> 02:01:58,103
You know,
there was a lot of that and,
2845
02:01:58,136 --> 02:01:59,703
you know,
"Is he gonna deliver or not?"
2846
02:01:59,737 --> 02:02:01,907
You can feel
all that kind of pressure.
2847
02:02:02,974 --> 02:02:06,311
It's always the suit's fault.
Never the actor.
2848
02:02:13,985 --> 02:02:14,820
[screaming]
2849
02:02:14,853 --> 02:02:16,521
-This is...
-The only way.
2850
02:02:16,555 --> 02:02:19,024
♪ It's something
unpredictable ♪
2851
02:02:19,057 --> 02:02:21,159
♪ But in the end is right ♪
2852
02:02:21,193 --> 02:02:25,663
♪ I hope you had
the time of your life ♪
2853
02:02:25,696 --> 02:02:27,999
Ah, so this is
what it feels like.
2854
02:02:30,435 --> 02:02:32,237
And there's the lights.
2855
02:02:32,270 --> 02:02:33,939
For medical research.
2856
02:02:33,972 --> 02:02:36,074
-Bye-bye, video. [smooches]
-[man] Bye.
2857
02:02:36,108 --> 02:02:37,109
[♪ song ends]
2858
02:02:41,580 --> 02:02:43,782
[♪ instrumental music playing]
2859
02:06:49,994 --> 02:06:52,765
[Deadpool] I'm tired of
these absolutely vile rumors
2860
02:06:52,798 --> 02:06:54,099
that I got Johnny killed.
2861
02:06:54,966 --> 02:06:56,201
Let's look at the tape.
2862
02:06:57,402 --> 02:06:58,636
In The Void,
2863
02:06:58,670 --> 02:07:00,605
you're either food for Alioth
2864
02:07:00,638 --> 02:07:01,940
or you work for her.
2865
02:07:04,876 --> 02:07:06,211
[Deadpool] Go on, Johnny.
2866
02:07:06,244 --> 02:07:07,879
And I'll tell you
who "her" is.
2867
02:07:07,912 --> 02:07:08,947
Cassandra Nova.
2868
02:07:08,980 --> 02:07:11,216
A megalomaniacal,
psychotic asshole.
2869
02:07:11,249 --> 02:07:13,284
A finger licking
dead-inside pixie slab
2870
02:07:13,318 --> 02:07:15,420
of third rate
dime-store nut-milk.
And I'll tell you
2871
02:07:15,453 --> 02:07:16,888
-what she can do.
-[Deadpool] I'm listening.
2872
02:07:16,921 --> 02:07:18,791
She can lick my goddamn
cinnamon ring clean
2873
02:07:18,824 --> 02:07:20,458
and kick rocks
all the way to bald hell.
2874
02:07:20,492 --> 02:07:22,961
In fact, I don't give a shit
if she removes all my skin
2875
02:07:22,994 --> 02:07:24,996
and pops me like some
nightmarish blood balloon.
2876
02:07:25,029 --> 02:07:26,131
If the last thing I do
2877
02:07:26,164 --> 02:07:28,099
in this godforsaken
cum-gutter existence
2878
02:07:28,133 --> 02:07:29,802
is light
that fuck-box on fire,
2879
02:07:29,835 --> 02:07:31,002
I still won't die happy.
2880
02:07:31,035 --> 02:07:32,670
[Deadpool laughs]
Holy shit, girl. You crazy.
2881
02:07:32,704 --> 02:07:35,306
That's right, Wade.
I won't be happy
until I've urinated
2882
02:07:35,340 --> 02:07:36,908
on her freshly
barbecued corpse
2883
02:07:36,941 --> 02:07:38,743
and husk-fucked
the charred remains
2884
02:07:38,778 --> 02:07:40,678
while gargling
Juggernaut's juggernuts.
2885
02:07:40,712 --> 02:07:42,313
-[Deadpool] Wow!
-And you can quote me.
2886
02:07:42,347 --> 02:07:43,783
[Deadpool] 'Kay.
2887
02:07:43,816 --> 02:07:45,250
Got you, fuckface.