1 06:33:24,882 --> 06:33:27,999 (Helicopter) 2 06:33:36,322 --> 06:33:38,278 (Sheep baaing) 3 06:33:45,202 --> 06:33:48,877 - Hello, Fargo. - Oh, Hud, Giant, hello. 4 06:33:48,922 --> 06:33:51,834 Chris is looking great for the competition. 5 06:33:51,882 --> 06:33:53,554 Thanks, lads. 6 06:33:53,602 --> 06:33:56,196 Father Crilly, hello there! 7 06:33:56,242 --> 06:33:58,961 Fargo, ha ha. How's the champ? 8 06:33:59,002 --> 06:34:01,960 He's great. A few quid on him, Father? 9 06:34:02,002 --> 06:34:05,472 I've put the entire annual heating allowance on him. 10 06:34:05,522 --> 06:34:08,161 But what if he doesn't win, Father? 11 06:34:08,202 --> 06:34:10,841 Well, we won't have any heating... 12 06:34:10,882 --> 06:34:15,239 but if it stays as warm as the summer we're laughing! 13 06:34:15,282 --> 06:34:18,752 But come on, it's Chris - he's the champ! 14 06:34:18,802 --> 06:34:21,157 Talk about a safe bet! 15 06:34:21,202 --> 06:34:23,432 Have you heard about this creature 16 06:34:23,482 --> 06:34:27,555 going around terrorising sheep on the island? 17 06:34:27,602 --> 06:34:30,674 No. Tell me more. 18 06:34:30,722 --> 06:34:32,917 They say it's as big as a jaguar. 19 06:34:32,962 --> 06:34:34,759 The car? 20 06:34:34,802 --> 06:34:36,997 No, the big cat thing! 21 06:34:37,042 --> 06:34:39,681 And its face is all teeth, 22 06:34:39,722 --> 06:34:43,431 big white teeth as sharp as knives. 23 06:34:43,482 --> 06:34:48,510 - Has it killed yet? - No, but it's only a matter of time. 24 06:34:48,562 --> 06:34:50,792 Hope it doesn't get my sheep. 25 06:34:50,842 --> 06:34:52,719 No man's sheep is safe. 26 06:34:52,762 --> 06:34:54,354 Oh, dear! 27 06:34:54,402 --> 06:34:55,915 Ohhhh! 28 06:34:56,242 --> 06:34:58,153 Ohhhh! 29 06:34:58,482 --> 06:35:00,393 Ohhhh! 30 06:35:00,762 --> 06:35:03,959 Ohhhh! 31 06:35:04,322 --> 06:35:05,675 Ohhhh! 32 06:35:06,002 --> 06:35:07,640 Ohhhh! 33 06:35:07,962 --> 06:35:09,600 Ohhhh! 34 06:35:09,642 --> 06:35:13,476 - Ohhhh!! - Oohhhhh!!! 35 06:35:14,722 --> 06:35:16,633 (Giant) 'Has it killed yet?' 36 06:35:16,682 --> 06:35:19,321 (Hud) 'It's only a matter of time... 37 06:35:19,362 --> 06:35:22,001 'big white teeth as sharp as knives. 38 06:35:22,042 --> 06:35:25,114 - 'Ohhhh...' - (Howl) 39 06:35:29,042 --> 06:35:31,033 (Silence ) 40 06:35:32,242 --> 06:35:34,597 (Birds singing) 41 06:35:46,482 --> 06:35:48,473 (Tin cans rattling) 42 06:35:52,322 --> 06:35:54,313 (Gunfire ) 43 06:35:57,482 --> 06:35:59,757 Dougal, give the album a rest. 44 06:35:59,802 --> 06:36:01,713 Ted, come on, it's brilliant. 45 06:36:01,762 --> 06:36:05,994 I think people will give up pop music and listen to this instead. 46 06:36:07,602 --> 06:36:13,234 What I hear in the charts, I'm not sure if that's not happening already. 47 06:36:13,282 --> 06:36:14,840 What? 48 06:36:16,362 --> 06:36:18,239 This is so good though, Ted! 49 06:36:18,282 --> 06:36:20,159 There's all kinds of things. 50 06:36:20,202 --> 06:36:24,320 Like magic I can create a big crowd of invisible ducks. 51 06:36:25,402 --> 06:36:26,960 (Train whistle ) 52 06:36:29,522 --> 06:36:32,878 Or take you on a trip into darkest Africa. 53 06:36:32,922 --> 06:36:35,436 (Toilet flushing) 54 06:36:36,922 --> 06:36:40,995 Or bring you into a spooky castle on a stormy night. 55 06:36:41,042 --> 06:36:42,600 (Telephone ringing) 56 06:36:42,642 --> 06:36:44,792 Oooh! 57 06:36:44,842 --> 06:36:47,834 Whooo! 58 06:36:47,882 --> 06:36:51,079 Craggy Island parochial house, Father Ted Crilly speaking. 59 06:36:51,122 --> 06:36:53,920 - F-F-Father! - Fargo? 60 06:36:53,962 --> 06:36:56,601 F-Father, can you come over quick?! 61 06:36:56,642 --> 06:36:58,519 Certainly, Fargo, what's the...? 62 06:36:58,562 --> 06:37:00,553 (Click and dialling tone ) 63 06:37:02,162 --> 06:37:05,154 I'm going out Dougal, something's up with Fargo. 64 06:37:06,722 --> 06:37:10,271 Mrs Doyle, you look terrible, doesn't she? 65 06:37:10,322 --> 06:37:12,392 Awful, Ted. 66 06:37:12,442 --> 06:37:15,434 I didn't get much sleep, Father. 67 06:37:15,482 --> 06:37:20,602 I kept thinking I heard this terrible howling noise. 68 06:37:20,642 --> 06:37:24,237 - That'd be the beast. - What's this, now? 69 06:37:24,282 --> 06:37:27,240 There's something terrible on the moors, Father. 70 06:37:27,282 --> 06:37:29,432 (Spooky music) 71 06:37:33,162 --> 06:37:35,471 Moors? We don't have any moors. 72 06:37:35,642 --> 06:37:38,873 Well, there's something terrible roaming around 73 06:37:38,922 --> 06:37:41,959 where normally there would be moors, Father! 74 06:37:42,002 --> 06:37:46,200 They think it might be a kind of giant fox! 75 06:37:46,242 --> 06:37:48,676 (Thunder crashes ) 76 06:37:48,722 --> 06:37:50,838 - Dougal! - Sorry. 77 06:37:52,442 --> 06:37:54,672 It couldn't be Jack, could it? 78 06:37:54,722 --> 06:37:58,032 Someone might mistake him for a big mad cat. 79 06:37:58,082 --> 06:38:01,836 Don't forget, during leap years Jack is very much affected 80 06:38:01,882 --> 06:38:04,237 by the changing of the seasons. 81 06:38:04,282 --> 06:38:08,719 For a short while, he is at one with nature. 82 06:38:24,482 --> 06:38:28,714 He's great when he's in the mood. If only it lasted longer. 83 06:38:28,762 --> 06:38:30,718 (Vomits ) 84 06:38:36,762 --> 06:38:40,152 I better go and make some tea. 85 06:38:40,202 --> 06:38:43,558 (Slurping and gurgling in time with Mrs Doyle's footsteps ) 86 06:38:45,642 --> 06:38:48,236 I told you to turn that off. 87 06:38:48,282 --> 06:38:50,318 But it is off. 88 06:38:50,362 --> 06:38:52,398 (Slurping and gurgling continues ) 89 06:38:58,322 --> 06:39:02,838 What do you mean, Chris isn't in the competition? He's the champ! 90 06:39:02,882 --> 06:39:07,751 This talk of the beast has got to him, his nerves are shot. 91 06:39:07,802 --> 06:39:10,362 I took a photo this morning. 92 06:39:10,402 --> 06:39:12,472 Nerves? It's a sheep! 93 06:39:12,522 --> 06:39:15,673 He always had a very artistic temperament. 94 06:39:15,722 --> 06:39:19,715 He's not a concert pianist, he's a sheep! I don't see how... 95 06:39:19,762 --> 06:39:22,276 (Ted) Oh, my God. 96 06:39:22,322 --> 06:39:27,442 I mean, when you compare it with what he looked like last year... 97 06:39:29,322 --> 06:39:32,200 It's like two completely different sheep. 98 06:39:36,082 --> 06:39:38,073 He's off his food... 99 06:39:38,122 --> 06:39:39,874 He's not sleeping... 100 06:39:39,922 --> 06:39:42,834 And he's started to burp. 101 06:39:44,562 --> 06:39:49,955 (Sobbing) Oh, F-Father, w-what am I going to do? 102 06:39:52,402 --> 06:39:54,632 Fargo, pull yourself together. 103 06:39:54,682 --> 06:39:57,401 Chris needs you now more than ever. 104 06:39:57,442 --> 06:39:59,637 Come on, I want to see him. 105 06:39:59,682 --> 06:40:03,197 But he doesn't want to see anybody, Father! 106 06:40:04,242 --> 06:40:06,358 Fargo, that's an order. 107 06:40:06,402 --> 06:40:09,394 Take me to see Chris, the unhappy sheep. 108 06:40:14,562 --> 06:40:19,431 God, you should have seen him, he's just a shadow of a sheep. 109 06:40:19,482 --> 06:40:23,998 If I was a sheep, I'd be watching my back right now. 110 06:40:25,602 --> 06:40:27,274 Why? 111 06:40:27,322 --> 06:40:30,871 Because of the beast. They say it's as big as four cats 112 06:40:30,922 --> 06:40:34,961 and it's got a retractable leg so as it can leap up at you better. 113 06:40:35,002 --> 06:40:37,641 And it lights up at night, Ted, 114 06:40:37,682 --> 06:40:39,559 and it's got four ears, 115 06:40:39,602 --> 06:40:43,356 two are for listening and two are back-up ears, 116 06:40:43,402 --> 06:40:46,792 and for some reason it's got a tremendous fear of stamps! 117 06:40:48,882 --> 06:40:51,237 Mrs Doyle says it's got magnets 118 06:40:51,282 --> 06:40:54,911 so if you're made of metal it'll stick to you, 119 06:40:54,962 --> 06:40:58,238 and instead of a mouth it's got four arses. 120 06:40:58,282 --> 06:40:59,840 Dougal! 121 06:41:02,762 --> 06:41:04,992 It's a legend, it doesn't exist. 122 06:41:05,042 --> 06:41:08,717 Right, like the Phantom of the Opera doesn't exist. 123 06:41:08,762 --> 06:41:11,276 The Phantom of the Opera doesn't exist! 124 06:41:11,322 --> 06:41:13,882 Don't start another what-does-exist debate. 125 06:41:13,922 --> 06:41:17,312 Add those last two examples to the chart. 126 06:41:17,362 --> 06:41:19,193 - But... - Dougal! 127 06:41:29,282 --> 06:41:33,321 I'm more worried about that bet I put on Chris. 128 06:41:33,362 --> 06:41:37,799 - You don't think he'll win? - No burping sheep has ever won. 129 06:41:37,842 --> 06:41:41,312 What about Big Brendan in 1983? 130 06:41:41,362 --> 06:41:42,761 Fluke. 131 06:41:42,802 --> 06:41:45,362 Anyway, it's just the heating budget. 132 06:41:45,402 --> 06:41:48,041 And look what the Weather News says. 133 06:41:49,882 --> 06:41:51,520 That's last year's Weather News. 134 06:41:51,562 --> 06:41:55,680 - What? - This is this year's. 135 06:41:55,722 --> 06:42:00,238 I'll see if John and Mary will give me my money back. 136 06:42:00,282 --> 06:42:04,400 I'll come too, see if they've got Sound Effects Volume Five. 137 06:42:04,442 --> 06:42:06,398 Fair enough. Good night, Dougal. 138 06:42:07,602 --> 06:42:09,877 (Howling) 139 06:42:16,562 --> 06:42:19,918 And some of his ears are inside his head, 140 06:42:19,962 --> 06:42:25,958 and his yawn sounds like Liam Neeson chasing a load of hens... 141 06:42:26,002 --> 06:42:28,391 (Ted) Hello, Fargo. 142 06:42:32,362 --> 06:42:36,071 And he doesn't have any eyebrows, except on Saturdays. 143 06:42:37,642 --> 06:42:39,758 Oh! Ahh! 144 06:42:39,802 --> 06:42:44,318 And you can stay in there till you learn some fecking manners! 145 06:42:44,362 --> 06:42:46,637 (Mary ) Let me out, you bastard! 146 06:42:46,682 --> 06:42:48,115 (Banging) 147 06:42:48,162 --> 06:42:51,916 And I've thrown away the key! How do you like that, huh? 148 06:42:51,962 --> 06:42:53,839 Hello, John. 149 06:42:53,882 --> 06:42:56,442 Hello, Father Crilly! 150 06:42:56,482 --> 06:43:00,714 - Hello, Father McGuire! - (Banging stops ) 151 06:43:01,762 --> 06:43:03,753 Where's...where's Mary? 152 06:43:03,802 --> 06:43:06,236 She's away at her mother's. 153 06:43:06,282 --> 06:43:07,954 (Banging) No! 154 06:43:08,002 --> 06:43:11,233 Is there, um, is there someone in the cupboard? 155 06:43:11,282 --> 06:43:13,159 (Mary ) Hello, Fathers. 156 06:43:15,282 --> 06:43:16,635 Mary? 157 06:43:16,682 --> 06:43:18,832 Mary, I forgot you were there, 158 06:43:18,882 --> 06:43:21,442 I thought you were at your mother's. 159 06:43:21,482 --> 06:43:25,839 (Mary ) No, I didn't go after all. I'm in the cupboard. 160 06:43:25,882 --> 06:43:27,918 What are you doing in there? 161 06:43:27,962 --> 06:43:29,839 It's because of the beast, 162 06:43:29,882 --> 06:43:34,080 I thought Mary would be safer in the cupboard. 163 06:43:34,122 --> 06:43:38,593 (Mary ) I'm better off here. What can I do you for, Father? 164 06:43:39,722 --> 06:43:41,792 A pack of 20 Carols. 165 06:43:41,842 --> 06:43:43,355 (Mary ) Certainly, Father. 166 06:43:43,402 --> 06:43:46,041 I'll get them, love. You stay there. 167 06:43:46,082 --> 06:43:48,721 Er, John, can I have a word? 168 06:43:49,922 --> 06:43:51,833 (Mary ) Is Father McGuire there? 169 06:43:51,882 --> 06:43:53,998 I am. Hello, Mary. 170 06:43:54,042 --> 06:43:56,397 (Mary ) Lovely day, isn't it? 171 06:43:56,442 --> 06:43:58,000 Oh, yes. 172 06:44:01,242 --> 06:44:03,756 (Mary ) You're looking great, anyway. 173 06:44:08,442 --> 06:44:11,081 I'm sorry, Father, a bet's a bet. 174 06:44:11,122 --> 06:44:13,682 But if she doesn't have the operation 175 06:44:13,722 --> 06:44:17,112 she won't be able to fetch water for her village. 176 06:44:17,162 --> 06:44:18,675 I am sorry, Father. 177 06:44:18,722 --> 06:44:22,078 You should've waited, the odds have lengthened to 20-1 178 06:44:22,122 --> 06:44:24,761 on account of Chris's nervous troubles. 179 06:44:24,802 --> 06:44:29,114 - Anyway, your cigarettes. - Thanks. 180 06:44:29,162 --> 06:44:31,801 They don't have the sound effects album. 181 06:44:31,842 --> 06:44:34,754 We might as well just go. 182 06:44:34,802 --> 06:44:36,315 (Mary ) Bye, Fathers. 183 06:44:36,362 --> 06:44:37,761 - Bye! - Bye! 184 06:44:38,922 --> 06:44:42,915 - (Mary ) I hope you're satisfied. - Ahh, shut up! 185 06:44:42,962 --> 06:44:44,156 Oof! 186 06:44:47,442 --> 06:44:49,273 Look, there's Giant Reed. 187 06:44:51,322 --> 06:44:53,597 Hello, Giant! 188 06:45:02,962 --> 06:45:07,194 What are you thinking, Ted? Look at the big serious look on your face. 189 06:45:07,242 --> 06:45:09,802 Chris can't win this competition. 190 06:45:09,842 --> 06:45:12,481 Ted, it's pointless thinking about it. 191 06:45:12,522 --> 06:45:15,514 There's nothing we can do about the situation. 192 06:45:15,562 --> 06:45:18,679 We just have to accept the fact and that's that. 193 06:45:19,682 --> 06:45:23,516 We could bring Chris over here, that might help. 194 06:45:23,562 --> 06:45:25,518 Oh, wow! Brilliant! 195 06:45:25,562 --> 06:45:30,477 I knew there was something we could do! Didn't I say it? 196 06:45:33,202 --> 06:45:35,238 No. No, you didn't. 197 06:45:35,282 --> 06:45:38,831 You said the exact opposite. We couldn't do anything. 198 06:45:38,882 --> 06:45:40,759 Ted, you've done this before, 199 06:45:40,802 --> 06:45:44,158 so I took the liberty of taping the conversation. 200 06:45:46,322 --> 06:45:49,519 We'll just have a listen. 201 06:45:49,562 --> 06:45:52,201 'Ted, it's pointless even thinking about it. 202 06:45:52,242 --> 06:45:54,676 'There's nothing we can do about the situation. 203 06:45:54,722 --> 06:45:57,794 'We just have to accept the fact and that's that.' 204 06:45:58,882 --> 06:46:00,873 I stand corrected. 205 06:46:03,642 --> 06:46:05,121 (Baaing) 206 06:46:05,162 --> 06:46:07,596 Oh... Ahh... 207 06:46:07,642 --> 06:46:09,314 There he is now. 208 06:46:09,362 --> 06:46:11,478 (Burps ) 209 06:46:11,522 --> 06:46:13,956 I'm still not sure about this, Father. 210 06:46:14,002 --> 06:46:16,835 We'll make him into a new sheep. 211 06:46:16,882 --> 06:46:20,716 Or else a jumper and a few chops! (Laughs ) 212 06:46:20,762 --> 06:46:25,199 I'm terribly sorry, that was just tasteless. 213 06:46:26,602 --> 06:46:28,479 I'll be off, then. 214 06:46:28,522 --> 06:46:33,516 Ok. Seriously, if there's one place for peace and quiet... 215 06:46:33,562 --> 06:46:35,712 (Jack) Feck! Arse! Feck! 216 06:46:35,762 --> 06:46:37,878 (Banging and crashing) 217 06:46:37,922 --> 06:46:40,038 Feck! Feck! Feck! Arse... 218 06:46:40,082 --> 06:46:42,198 (Muttering) 219 06:46:48,722 --> 06:46:52,192 It would be an insult to you if I finished that sentence. 220 06:46:56,762 --> 06:46:58,753 You're up early, Father. 221 06:46:58,802 --> 06:47:02,761 We're off to get Chris into shape for the competition. 222 06:47:02,802 --> 06:47:07,592 Do you think would our new guest like a cup of tea? 223 06:47:07,642 --> 06:47:10,634 The little sheep fellow? 224 06:47:10,682 --> 06:47:12,912 I don't think they drink tea. 225 06:47:12,962 --> 06:47:16,238 Not unless you have some special "Sheep Tea". 226 06:47:16,282 --> 06:47:17,920 Yes. 227 06:47:20,802 --> 06:47:24,636 - What? - I do have some sheep tea. 228 06:47:26,002 --> 06:47:27,879 Oh, right... Well, um... 229 06:47:27,922 --> 06:47:30,436 Give him some of that, then. 230 06:47:30,482 --> 06:47:32,712 Ok, so. 231 06:47:34,562 --> 06:47:38,680 It's nearly midday, do we have to get up this early? 232 06:47:38,722 --> 06:47:40,599 Has to be done, Dougal. 233 06:47:40,642 --> 06:47:43,998 We've got to get Chris from looking like this... 234 06:47:44,042 --> 06:47:46,510 to looking like this. 235 06:47:49,202 --> 06:47:52,831 ( # M-People: Search For The Hero Inside Yourself #) 236 06:47:52,882 --> 06:47:57,592 # You've got to search for the hero inside yourself 237 06:47:57,642 --> 06:48:00,998 # Search for the secrets you hide 238 06:48:02,362 --> 06:48:05,718 # Search for the hero inside yourself 239 06:48:07,162 --> 06:48:10,518 # Until you find the key to your life 240 06:48:11,882 --> 06:48:16,637 # Search for the hero inside yourself, yeah, yeah 241 06:48:16,682 --> 06:48:20,072 # Search for the secrets you hide... # 242 06:48:23,202 --> 06:48:26,512 Ah, hello, Father. Did you...? Is he...? 243 06:48:27,642 --> 06:48:30,156 I'm sorry, we tried everything. 244 06:48:30,202 --> 06:48:32,193 Ah, well, 245 06:48:32,242 --> 06:48:37,032 I suppose I...I... I better take him home. 246 06:48:40,682 --> 06:48:41,910 A-ha! 247 06:48:41,962 --> 06:48:45,272 - Ha! - A-ha! Got you! 248 06:48:45,322 --> 06:48:49,156 - What did you do?! - Just did my best. 249 06:48:49,202 --> 06:48:51,432 I don't know what to say. 250 06:48:51,482 --> 06:48:54,474 Can I buy you a drink to celebrate? 251 06:48:54,522 --> 06:48:57,355 Dougal, don't let Chris wander off. 252 06:48:57,402 --> 06:49:01,236 - And keep that front door closed. - Ok, Ted. 253 06:49:04,842 --> 06:49:07,675 He's the best...fecking sheep ever. 254 06:49:07,722 --> 06:49:10,839 His little sheep face... 255 06:49:10,882 --> 06:49:14,158 And you have to say, great sense of humour. 256 06:49:14,202 --> 06:49:16,079 Really? Great. 257 06:49:16,122 --> 06:49:18,477 He only cost �23 - 23! 258 06:49:18,522 --> 06:49:24,074 A clause says I have to pay more if his image is used on stamps, 259 06:49:24,122 --> 06:49:27,831 but still, a great bargain for such a happy sheep. 260 06:49:29,882 --> 06:49:31,281 (Sighs ) 261 06:49:32,362 --> 06:49:33,954 (Laughing) 262 06:49:35,882 --> 06:49:38,032 - Is that Hud Hastings? - Yeah. 263 06:49:38,082 --> 06:49:41,836 Is he...wearing a crown? 264 06:49:43,042 --> 06:49:44,680 (Laughing) 265 06:49:47,202 --> 06:49:49,272 Yes, very good, yes. 266 06:49:49,322 --> 06:49:51,438 (Drunk and laughing) 267 06:49:53,282 --> 06:49:55,238 Very good, yes. Yes, bye! 268 06:50:02,242 --> 06:50:05,393 Dougal, I notice the front door is wide open. 269 06:50:05,442 --> 06:50:07,512 Oh, er, it is, yes, Ted. 270 06:50:07,562 --> 06:50:10,201 And I see we're currently sheepless. 271 06:50:10,242 --> 06:50:12,312 Oh... Ahhh! 272 06:50:13,642 --> 06:50:16,315 I told you to keep the door closed. 273 06:50:16,362 --> 06:50:18,239 Now, hold it there, Ted. 274 06:50:19,562 --> 06:50:21,792 (Ted) 'Don't let him wander off...' 275 06:50:21,842 --> 06:50:24,197 (Howling) 276 06:50:24,242 --> 06:50:26,631 - What's that? - The beast! 277 06:50:26,682 --> 06:50:28,195 Come on! 278 06:50:34,242 --> 06:50:36,153 How do we know which way to go? 279 06:50:36,202 --> 06:50:39,080 Sheep, like all wool-bearing animals, travel north, 280 06:50:39,122 --> 06:50:42,353 where it's colder and they won't be so stuffy. 281 06:50:42,402 --> 06:50:44,597 So, we have to go north. 282 06:50:44,642 --> 06:50:46,519 Which way is north? 283 06:50:47,842 --> 06:50:50,675 - I-I don't know. - (Howling) 284 06:50:50,722 --> 06:50:52,314 Quick! 285 06:50:56,362 --> 06:50:59,354 It seems to be coming from all around us. 286 06:50:59,402 --> 06:51:03,156 The Sioux Indians could pinpoint the exact location of buffalo 287 06:51:03,202 --> 06:51:07,798 by looking at the moon and putting their ears to the ground. 288 06:51:07,842 --> 06:51:10,720 Ted, maybe it's coming from that stereo. 289 06:51:10,762 --> 06:51:12,753 (Howling) 290 06:51:23,762 --> 06:51:25,957 - (Burp ) - Ted! It's Chris! 291 06:51:26,002 --> 06:51:28,038 Is he all right? 292 06:51:29,722 --> 06:51:34,238 He's fine! He must've realised it was a big stereo in a tree! 293 06:51:34,282 --> 06:51:36,432 Let's bring him home, Dougal. 294 06:51:36,482 --> 06:51:40,600 I think I'm beginning to figure out what's been going on. 295 06:51:52,242 --> 06:51:56,281 Well, it's been an easy decision. 296 06:51:56,322 --> 06:51:59,359 There's one out-and-out winner 297 06:51:59,402 --> 06:52:03,554 and rather than waste time with a speech 298 06:52:03,602 --> 06:52:07,959 I'll get on with the job of announcing the winner 299 06:52:08,002 --> 06:52:12,871 who, today, has come first in this competition 300 06:52:12,922 --> 06:52:18,554 to see who the winner is in the king of the Sheep competition 301 06:52:18,602 --> 06:52:20,991 that we have all come to today 302 06:52:21,042 --> 06:52:25,911 wondering who indeed will it be, who wins the prize 303 06:52:25,962 --> 06:52:28,396 of king of the Sheep. 304 06:52:28,442 --> 06:52:32,515 The winner of this year's king of the Sheep competition is... 305 06:52:32,562 --> 06:52:34,632 - Stop! - (All gasp ) 306 06:52:34,682 --> 06:52:37,913 Good God! What is the meaning of this? 307 06:52:37,962 --> 06:52:43,673 This competition is a sham and a fraud and a...sham! 308 06:52:43,722 --> 06:52:46,759 What?! How dare you! 309 06:52:46,802 --> 06:52:49,714 There's been a deliberate and scurrilous attempt 310 06:52:49,762 --> 06:52:52,959 to sabotage this high-profile sheep competition. 311 06:52:53,002 --> 06:52:57,120 And those responsible are in this very room. 312 06:52:57,162 --> 06:53:00,711 - Giant Reed and Hud Hastings! - (Shocked gasps ) 313 06:53:00,762 --> 06:53:04,755 - (Man ) Fuckin' hell! - You'd better have some proof. 314 06:53:04,802 --> 06:53:07,316 Oh, I do, I do. 315 06:53:07,362 --> 06:53:11,480 You constantly chatted of the so-called beast of Craggy Island, 316 06:53:11,522 --> 06:53:14,241 always within hearing distance of Chris. 317 06:53:14,282 --> 06:53:17,479 Fargo, how's the champ? 318 06:53:17,522 --> 06:53:19,319 (Baaing) 319 06:53:20,162 --> 06:53:24,280 And you used a copy of BBC Sound Effects Volume Five 320 06:53:24,322 --> 06:53:26,882 to add weight to those fanciful claims. 321 06:53:26,922 --> 06:53:32,235 An impressionable sheep could not but be convinced by "Terrible Monster". 322 06:53:32,282 --> 06:53:34,671 Is this true? 323 06:53:34,722 --> 06:53:37,282 Well, well, well. 324 06:53:37,322 --> 06:53:42,112 What a pretty picture Father Crilly has painted! 325 06:53:42,162 --> 06:53:47,873 How dare you bring shame on this celebration of sheep! 326 06:53:47,922 --> 06:53:51,073 Don't be too hard on them - sorry, your name? 327 06:53:51,122 --> 06:53:54,751 - Alan. - Don't be too hard on them, Alan, 328 06:53:54,802 --> 06:53:56,872 they were simply pawns. 329 06:53:56,922 --> 06:54:00,597 The real villain in this piece has yet to be revealed. 330 06:54:00,642 --> 06:54:02,712 Fargo Boyle! 331 06:54:02,762 --> 06:54:05,560 - What?! - (Shocked mutterings ) 332 06:54:05,602 --> 06:54:09,356 - (Man ) Fuckin' hell! - That's nonsense! 333 06:54:09,402 --> 06:54:12,553 I'll just go now and take my trophy. 334 06:54:12,602 --> 06:54:16,072 You were disappointed at the poor odds Chris was receiving. 335 06:54:16,122 --> 06:54:19,273 You manipulated those odds by sabotaging your own sheep 336 06:54:19,322 --> 06:54:23,235 and then staging a miraculous recovery. 337 06:54:23,282 --> 06:54:27,560 You paid Giant and Hud to talk about the beast in front of Chris. 338 06:54:27,602 --> 06:54:30,162 Hud, Giant, hello there! 339 06:54:32,442 --> 06:54:35,957 You didn't count on the vanity of your accomplices 340 06:54:36,002 --> 06:54:38,880 who used their wealth to buy a fur coat... 341 06:54:40,642 --> 06:54:42,633 and a crown! 342 06:54:46,122 --> 06:54:50,638 And you bought the BBC Sound Effects record. 343 06:54:51,962 --> 06:54:56,592 You knew that with my intuitive understanding of sheep, 344 06:54:56,642 --> 06:54:59,156 I could nurse him back to health. 345 06:55:02,242 --> 06:55:04,881 It was you, Fargo, you, 346 06:55:04,922 --> 06:55:07,117 you...you! 347 06:55:11,002 --> 06:55:12,879 Chris! 348 06:55:12,922 --> 06:55:15,834 Chris, it's not true! It's not true! 349 06:55:15,882 --> 06:55:21,036 No, no! Don't look at me, don't look at me! 350 06:55:21,082 --> 06:55:23,357 (Sobbing) 351 06:55:23,402 --> 06:55:25,313 Should I call the police, Father? 352 06:55:25,362 --> 06:55:29,037 No. He's lost the trust of his sheep. 353 06:55:29,082 --> 06:55:31,357 That's punishment enough 354 06:55:31,402 --> 06:55:34,360 for a farmer who deals primarily with sheep. 355 06:55:35,602 --> 06:55:40,392 If you'll excuse me, there's a stench in here and I need some fresh air. 356 06:55:48,162 --> 06:55:50,392 Ted, if Chris has been disqualified, 357 06:55:50,442 --> 06:55:53,798 haven't you lost the heating money on the bet? 358 06:56:09,442 --> 06:56:13,560 I know it's a radical step, but it's very, very cold. 359 06:56:13,602 --> 06:56:16,275 See you in three months, then, Ted. 360 06:56:50,802 --> 06:56:53,362 Actually, I'd better go to the toilet first.