1
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:54,160
Supposing Queen Elizabeth had been
misguided enough to marry an English Commoner.

2
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:55,920
Janet.

3
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:01,360
I'm sorry Ms. Fox, I didn't quite hear.

4
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:05,840
Obviously you're immersed in problems of far
greater significant than Elizabeth's foreign policy.

5
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,480
When I was a kid, I used to think
there was a special place where

6
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,200
All the movie stars lived

7
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:15,320
A kind of Shangri La.

8
00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,600
And if you could just get inside there,
You'd be happy.

9
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,520
Forever.

10
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,480
All these years later,
I'm finally inside.

11
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,520
I've made it... to Shangri La.

12
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:33,160
My name is Sidney Young.

13
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,560
I am a celebrity correspondent.

14
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,800
A journalist, a friend to the stars.

15
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,480
Yeah... that... that isn't me.

16
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,040
This is me.

17
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,040
At the Apollo Film Awards
in L.A., this year.

18
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:47,920
That's my Armani tuxedo.

19
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,280
That's an Omega Speed Master Pro
watch I'm wearing.

20
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,160
That's the actress, Sophie Maes.

21
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,480
Last night she told me she'd let
me have sex with her if she won...

22
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:01,680
the best actress award.

23
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,080
Oh!... She just won the Best Actress Award

24
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,520
My life didn't used to be like this.

25
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:40,600
Only a year ago, my alternative magazine,
"The Post Modern Review", was on the ropes.

26
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:45,000
I needed a big celebrity scoop to save
me from bankruptcy and humiliation.

27
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,160
But there was just one problem.

28
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:51,080
To cross the thin red line
that separates the Lookie Loo's from the stars,

29
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,080
You had to be famous.

30
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,400
Babe?

31
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,360
Babe 3 yeah..

32
00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:58,920
But it hasn't got any ID...

33
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,720
How many pigs are coming tonight?

34
00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,440
You want me to leave him with you?

35
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:06,600
No, no, no, you can not leave him here...

36
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,280
If you're positive you're supposed to...

37
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,240
Well, well... Sidney Young.

38
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,160
Well, well, clipboard Nazi type woman.

39
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:23,880
The pig doesn't get in.

40
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,160
What about me?

41
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,680
I was talking about you.

42
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,120
Plan B: If you cannot crash
the awards ceremonies

43
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,120
You had to get in to one
of the after show parties.

44
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,720
Of these, the most exclusive,
was the Sharp's Magazine party.

45
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,480
Hosted by legendary editor
Clayton Harding.

46
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,240
Here the A-list could finally relax.

47
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:50,040
Safe in the knowledge that no Lookie Loo
would book a room in one of

48
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,320
London's most expensive hotels
just to be close to them.

49
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,560
OK Kevin, I want you in bed
by 10 o'clock, OK?

50
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,840
And no porn.

51
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,440
When I'm in L.A. I like to stay
at the Chateau, where else...

52
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,480
And then when I'm in London I also
like to stay here at the Haymarket.

53
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:28,040
It's got to the point where I don't
feel at home unless I'm in a hotel.

54
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,800
Do you know what I mean?

55
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,400
What is it you do?

56
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,480
I'm a writer, I'm a movie writer.

57
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:36,880
Great.

58
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,120
Hello.

59
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,600
Sir?

60
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,080
Is everything all right?

61
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,880
You have the most amazing cheekbones.

62
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:10,680
Have you had plastic surgery?

63
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:12,880
No, and you?

64
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:13,880
Me? No..

65
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,160
Penis reduction when I was a kid...

66
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:23,960
- You are too much!
- I am, aren't I?

67
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:25,800
What's your name again?

68
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,120
Clark, Clark Baxter.

69
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:30,920
How do you do?

70
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,040
Your... little... moustache...

71
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,640
Oh shit!

72
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:49,520
Sara, get security.

73
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,000
Sidney Young got in.

74
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,560
Who's Sidney Young?

75
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,400
Oh fuck!

76
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:03,800
Plan C: keep a low profile and leave
as unobtrusively as possible.

77
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:38,520
Can you get that?

78
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:54,680
Can you get the phone please?

79
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:04,680
The post modern review with an English
celebrity is a text to be deconstructed...

80
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,160
No we don't hate celebrities..

81
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,520
.. I am an internationally respected academic.

82
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:13,680
And prick.

83
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,640
You answer the phone,
What do I pay you for?

84
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,240
You don't pay me.

85
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:18,880
Answer the phone.

86
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,760
Hello, Post Modern Review.

87
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,920
If she doesn't apologize, I'm quitting.

88
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,760
You're going to have to apologize,
okay, George can't leave.

89
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:27,880
Why can't George leave?

90
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,480
Because he owns the Fax machine, that's why.

91
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:30,400
What?

92
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,080
It's Sharp's magazine.

93
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,360
We're finished.

94
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:39,640
We're not finished.

95
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:40,880
If they sue we're finished...

96
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,280
It's going to be OK,
give me the phone...

97
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,600
Be quiet.

98
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:46,760
Sidney Young.

99
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,200
This is Clayton Harding,
editor of Sharp's Magazine.

100
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:50,880
Ah, Lord Vader.

101
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:55,040
I saw you at my party. Just before you
ruined it with your little pig stunt.

102
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:56,800
Oh, you liked that did you?.

103
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:57,920
Sure.

104
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,920
I especially liked the part where
Clint Eastwood beat the shit out of you.

105
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,800
Well, you listen to me,
I'm not scared of you Harding.

106
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:09,040
You can sue if you like,
but it's like... Jimmy Stewart said...

107
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,920
You sit up there in your spindly little webs,

108
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:17,240
And you think the whole world revolves
around you and your money, but it doesn't Mister.

109
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,920
Mister..
- Potter.

110
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:20,960
Potter!

111
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,640
You may sue us OK, but I warn you
if you strike me down...

112
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:27,000
- Mr Johnson's here to see you.
- I will become more powerful than
you can possibly imagine

113
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,880
Destroy me and a hundred men
will spring up in my place.

114
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:35,680
Men who care nothing for success, men who
can't be bought, men who's only loyalty...

115
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:38,840
I want you to come to work for me
at Sharp's magazine in New York.

116
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:39,540
Fight!
Fight!

117
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,840
That's not coming out!

118
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,640
Can You say that again please?

119
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,640
Thanks asshole.

120
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,280
Sorry.

121
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:42,520
Oh fuck!

122
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,280
This magazine you're working for,
it is good?

123
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:47,960
Yeah, it's Sharp's.

124
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:49,640
You know, Sharp's Magazines?

125
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:53,760
High society, fashion, fine..
finance, Hollywood celebrities.

126
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:55,280
Hollywood?

127
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:57,160
It's Sodom and Gomorrah.

128
00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:59,200
Now everybody is celebrity.

129
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,600
You take out your breasts
you are celebrity.

130
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,120
I think it really depends
on the breasts.

131
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,480
In Poland, someone was famous
because they done something.

132
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:11,640
Marie Curie..
Paul John Paul...

133
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,920
Yes, well they don't make entertainers
like that any more, do they.

134
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,040
They brought your things yesterday.

135
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:22,960
Great.

136
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:24,480
Yeah.

137
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,080
It's nice.
I like it.

138
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,960
I'll put my drums in
the corner over there.

139
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,560
Joking.

140
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,000
Just a little.

141
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,880
When you start work?

142
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,600
In the morning.

143
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,160
So got to be fresh,
make a good impression.

144
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:42,680
Go to bed.

145
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:44,880
That's exactly what I intend to do.

146
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,840
Make that two.

147
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,080
I'm Clark.
Clark Baxter.

148
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,200
Nice to meet you, cheers.

149
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:07,920
What is this?

150
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,040
That's a water, sir.

151
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,320
That's not right is it, put a
bit of beer in or something.

152
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:12,920
I'm sorry, my boyfriend's sitting there.

153
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,040
Is he?

154
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,520
He's fucking small isn't he.

155
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:20,040
That's his White Russian,
he'll be here any second.

156
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,800
Excuse me? Can you reserve
seats in this bar?.

157
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:23,920
No.

158
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,480
I'm a journalist.

159
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:32,080
I work for a little periodical
you might have heard of.

160
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,520
Sharps Magazine.

161
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:34,920
I'm the Cultural Editor.

162
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:39,680
This is library card, from Gloucester.

163
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,280
It's the wrong one isn't it...

164
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:44,520
Happy now?

165
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,320
Just doing my bit for the gene pool.

166
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,120
Who is that with Clint Eastwood?

167
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:53,080
Morgan Freeman.

168
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,840
No, in the head-lock.

169
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,520
You got this laminated?

170
00:12:58,440 --> 00:12:59,520
Shit... Sorry, sorry.

171
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,520
No, no, no, just leave it.

172
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,080
OK then.

173
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:06,920
It's pronounced "gloster" by the way.

174
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,800
Are you going to get off that seat?

175
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:10,680
No.

176
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:12,680
Do you know the meaning of Karma?

177
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,400
A curry?

178
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,880
What goes around, comes around.

179
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,240
The moment is approaching where you'll
pay the price for being an asshole.

180
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:24,360
And when my boyfriend gets here, I'm going
to encourage him to take you outside...

181
00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:29,920
Hello?

182
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,560
Hi honey.

183
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,120
All right, I'll see you then.

184
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:39,880
Boyfriend not coming?

185
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,000
I'm Sorry.

186
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:44,840
Do you think..?

187
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:50,920
Do you think I can have his drink?

188
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,200
Bobby.

189
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:53,840
You want my seat?
I'm just leaving.

190
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,400
Thanks.

191
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,200
Who do you think that is
with Clint Eastwood?

192
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:20,960
I'm going to go powder my nose.

193
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,600
Why don't you put on something
a little more romantic?

194
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:52,800
Mrs Labowski.

195
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,120
Kowalsky.

196
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:56,280
You know what time it is?

197
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,400
The music blaring, the door open.

198
00:14:58,960 --> 00:14:59,840
Was it?

199
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,160
Fuck..
I mean sorry...

200
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:02,040
Shit...

201
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,200
I mean sorry..

202
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,920
I ran into an old friend...

203
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,160
and came back for a little...

204
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,760
... Penis.

205
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,440
You can do this.

206
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:41,960
You can do this.

207
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:45,720
You can do this.

208
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:47,320
You so can do this.

209
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,360
Come on Bob... A quick cup
of coffee, then you gotta go.

210
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,440
This is my city.

211
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,320
This is my building.

212
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,520
This is my Lobby.

213
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,760
These are my models.

214
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,960
This is my work place.

215
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,560
And this is my boss.

216
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,160
What the fuck are you wearing?

217
00:16:58,480 --> 00:16:59,640
You like it?

218
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,120
I've got another one actually.

219
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,000
Thanks.

220
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:12,280
The next time you come here dressed like
that you follow this shirt, you understand?

221
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:13,880
Sit down.

222
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:14,960
How was your flight?

223
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,480
It was good. Thanks to the
business class tickets, Clay?

224
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:19,880
That was a mistake.

225
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,320
And don't call me Clay.

226
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,480
Oh, can we smoke?

227
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,200
We... no.

228
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,760
Actually I'm a big fan of your
early... funnier, stuff

229
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:38,880
Snipe Magazine, really good.

230
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,720
You've actually been a big influence on me.

231
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:51,600
And I think together we can inject
some of that Snipe spirit into Sharp's.

232
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,080
In fact I've got some
idea which you might...

233
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,640
You think you've arrived don't you?

234
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,280
I hate to break it to you,
but you're only in the first room.

235
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,600
It's not nothing, don't get
me wrong, but eh...

236
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,720
It's not that great either, believe me
there's plenty of people in this town

237
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,480
Who made it to the first level
and didn't get any further.

238
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,800
And in about a year,
maybe longer,

239
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:19,400
You'll discover a secret doorway,
at the back of the first room,

240
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,120
That leads to the 2nd.

241
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,000
And in time, if you're lucky,
you'll discover...

242
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:26,800
another doorway in the back of the
2nd room, that leads to the 3rd.

243
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,960
There are 7 rooms, altogether.

244
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,320
You are in the 1st.

245
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,120
I'm in the 7th.

246
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,240
Don't you forget it.

247
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:42,240
Can I use the bathroom in the 7th,
cause the one in the 1st really smells.

248
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,040
Which leads us to the subject
of your sense of humor.

249
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,960
I had a look through
your magazine here.

250
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,400
Oh, what did you think?

251
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:57,160
Oh, it was kind of snarky...
and bitter... and witless.

252
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,800
I'm gonna try you out in
the "I Spy" section.

253
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,720
You're going to report
to Lawrence Maddox.

254
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:24,040
Plausibly, I know we've only just met,
already I perceive I'm in the presence

255
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,400
of a rare common sensibility.

256
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,280
Oh, thanks.

257
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,280
Harding is going to be your Rabbi,
show you the ropes.

258
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:30,640
Oh, Mr Maddox.

259
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,320
Are you aware of what
we do at "I Spy"?

260
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,520
You photograph famous people
when they're drunk.

261
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,800
"I Spy" is the nation's
window to high society.

262
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,560
The Lookie Loo's read us because...
they weren't there.

263
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,200
The glitterati read us because
we tell them they were there.

264
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,760
For the system to work,
we have to know what "there" is.

265
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,160
So when we go out to clubs and stuff,
is that on expenses?

266
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,160
This isn't a vacation, it's a vocation.

267
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,040
And when we do go out, you're going to
have to wear something more suitable.

268
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,160
What do you mean by suitable?

269
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,920
Something that covers all this up.

270
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,000
Is that Mussolini?

271
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:18,720
No Sydney, it's Richard Heywood,
owner of this magazine.

272
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,560
Who's this funny looking kid,
is that his son,

273
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:23,800
It's his daughter.

274
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:24,840
Elizabeth.

275
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,160
And my wife.

276
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:28,720
Really?

277
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,720
She's very... she's got...

278
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,760
I mean babies are all like Mussolini.

279
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:40,040
Miss Olsen takes care of book launchings,
gallery openings and other intellectual fare.

280
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:43,360
Ms Olsen will you find our new
rookie something to do?

281
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,240
I hear the Cultural Editor's
job is up for grabs.

282
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,800
Seeing I'm going to be sitting
just there, don't you think we
should put last night behind us?

283
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,800
No, now get off my desk.

284
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,560
Yeah, but...

285
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,880
I don't really know what
I'm supposed to be doing.

286
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,600
Are you gonna help me out?

287
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,440
Sure, which way did you come in?

288
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,800
Here, Chris Blick exhibition opening.

289
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,400
Caption it.

290
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:17,680
Now get out off my desk.

291
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,200
Hi.

292
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:22,440
Oh, hi Ingrid.

293
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,320
Aren't you going to introduce us?

294
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,640
This is Clark Baxter.

295
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,800
It's Sidney actually, Sidney Young.

296
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,600
Clark Baxter is my alias.

297
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:32,680
He's English.

298
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,400
Oh, right.

299
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:39,680
Hello.

300
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,280
Is that the Parsons Gallery.

301
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,520
Yes it is, this is
Celia Parsons speaking.

302
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,880
Hi, this is Sidney Young
from Sharp's magazine.

303
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:51,120
We're running some photographs from your
opening of the Chris Blick exhibition,

304
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,640
And I've been asked to caption them...

305
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,240
I was wondering if you could help
me to identify a few people.

306
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:56,680
All right.

307
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:57,520
Thanks.

308
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,240
Chris Blick, man or woman?

309
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,720
Is Chris Blick a man or a woman?

310
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,680
Are you sure you're calling
from Sharp's Magazine?

311
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,200
Yes I am.

312
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,840
Well then tell me Stanley,
why are they giving you this assignment,

313
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,800
If you do not know who one of the
most famous artists in America is?

314
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,800
I don't know.

315
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,040
He's a man.

316
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:18,640
Great, OK, is he an old man?

317
00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:21,760
He's an older man, yes.

318
00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:24,960
Cause I've got two old men here,
is he the fat one?

319
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,760
You do realize that Clayton Harding
is a personal friend of mine?

320
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,040
What's that got to do with anything?

321
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,040
Right...

322
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:44,600
Parsons Gallery?

323
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,120
Is he the one with the wonky eye then?

324
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,120
It's fashion sensitive.

325
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,960
If you're not wearing Prada,
it'll take your arm clean off.

326
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,280
But I am wearing Prada.

327
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,320
This place isn't what I expected.

328
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:34,400
What did you expect?

329
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,680
I don't know, like the Argunkle circle.

330
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,200
Dorothy Parker...

331
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:40,240
Martinis...

332
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:41,480
Quips... nobody here is drunk.

333
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:42,800
It's called being professional,

334
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,040
You should try it sometime.

335
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,360
Here's something you gotta understand,
okay, I'm not really one of you.

336
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:47,760
By you, do you mean human?

337
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,400
No, I mean one of the "Glossy Posse",

338
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,520
A bunch of Zombies walking about...
pets to the stars.

339
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,040
Acting like they're
working for the UN.

340
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:55,440
I'm here to shake things up.

341
00:23:59,040 --> 00:23:59,840
Where are you from?

342
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,480
Not that it's any of your business, but
Port Huron, Michigan.

343
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,960
Ah... small-town girl.

344
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,880
"I bet you couldn't wait to get out,
get anywhere, get all the way to the NYC"

345
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:13,880
"Silence of the Lambs".

346
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:15,800
Let me give you a bit of advice, OK.

347
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,800
Don't take the celebrity
fluff too seriously.

348
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:20,800
You arrogant...

349
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:55,800
Are you insane?

350
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,000
That was Lawrence Maddox's wife,
Elizabeth, her father owns Sharp's.

351
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,360
That was her?
The Mussolini baby.

352
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,200
I can go back...

353
00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,040
No, you do not approach Elizabeth Maddox.

354
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,360
You do not talk to her, don't even
make eye contact with her.

355
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:08,720
Do you understand?

356
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,080
What, am I supposed to be afraid?

357
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,160
Yes.

358
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:12,920
I don't know the meaning of
the word "fear"

359
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,000
I'm sure there are many words
you don't know the meaning of.

360
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,320
What's that mean?

361
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:21,120
When I think of all the people
who'd kill to be where you are,

362
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:24,520
And you lumbering here, spitting food,
haven't the brains god gave a mollusc...

363
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:26,400
Why did Clayton hire you?

364
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:27,760
Snipe Magazine.

365
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:28,800
What?

366
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:30,880
When Clayton left college he
started this magazine called Snipe.

367
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,440
It was fantastic, just took on all the
self-important celebrities in town,

368
00:25:34,540 --> 00:25:35,440
It was completely fearless.

369
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,400
It was like my magazine,
But 20 years earlier.

370
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,960
I am the young Clayton Harding,
that's why he hired me.

371
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,080
He looks at me and
he sees his glory days.

372
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,080
His "glory days"?

373
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,120
Sharp's is one of over 40
national magazines in the world.

374
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,120
That increased its advertising pages
by 60% since he took over.

375
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:54,840
He makes millions of dollars a year,
he lives in a Bank Street town house,
and week-ends in the Hamptons.

376
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:58,360
Clayton Harding is one of the lynch pins
of the media industrial complex.

377
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,320
Don't worry about that.

378
00:26:01,330 --> 00:26:02,310
I think I just might be
in time to save him.

379
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,720
Hello, you've reached Sidney Young.

380
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,240
I'm Sorry, but my answering
machine is out of order, so

381
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,320
The voice you're hearing is actually me.
What do you want?

382
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:13,840
Sidney.

383
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,120
Are you there?

384
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:17,040
Sidney.

385
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:18,680
It's your father.

386
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,720
If you're there Sydney, please
answer the phone.

387
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,000
Sidney, are you there?

388
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:49,680
Wow! Look at that.

389
00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:56,360
Are you two texting each other?

390
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,640
There's about a hundred grand's worth of
food here, and I'm the only one eating it.

391
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:34,880
Want some?

392
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:35,680
No.

393
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,000
This place is just wall to wall totty.

394
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:41,480
Wall to wall, what?

395
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,600
Totty, you know, babes.

396
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:45,080
Sexually attractive women.

397
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:46,560
- Do you mind?
- What?

398
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:48,440
Hey Lawrence, how are you?

399
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:49,600
Good to see you.

400
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:51,400
Look at that.

401
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,480
All night long people have
been treating us like royalty.

402
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,160
In London, the journalist motto is
everybody hates us and we don't care.

403
00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:58,960
Well now your one of the high priests
of what's hot and what's not.

404
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:00,240
I shouldn't even be here.

405
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:01,640
I get thrown out of places like this.

406
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,960
Lawrence Maddox, oh my goodness...

407
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:18,560
Long time.

408
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:20,120
Yeah.

409
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,000
Rachel.

410
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,080
Rachel, how are you?

411
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,040
Well I'm wonderful, just wonderful.

412
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:28,160
How are you?

413
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:30,600
You know it is so funny
I should run into you.

414
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:34,520
I've just done this great
little film, it's called 5 Burros.

415
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,520
It's low-budget,
first time director,

416
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:39,760
But it's really moving.

417
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,960
Hey, maybe you could do a little...

418
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:44,080
Vincent.

419
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:44,960
Good to see you.

420
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,160
Lawrence, right?

421
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,160
Yeah.

422
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,400
How are you sir?

423
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:49,720
- Good,
- Good to see you too.

424
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:50,520
How's the picture?

425
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:54,400
Pretty close to perfect, if I can just
get all the experts to leave me alone.

426
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:56,040
I think we're gonna have
some screenings next week.

427
00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:59,400
Hey! That was Rachel Petkoff.

428
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,320
Fantastic actress.

429
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,000
She hasn't done anything for
a while, but in her day...

430
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:05,800
- Sure...
- No seriously, I think she's due for a comeback.

431
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,200
You should get in there,
do a profile, before anyone else...

432
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:12,720
Sidney, I'd like to introduce
you to Vincent Lepak, "Enfant Terrible".

433
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,920
In my opinion the most exciting
new director in American cinema.

434
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,600
This is the worst fundraiser
I've been to my whole life.

435
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,000
It's a ratfire isn't it?

436
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:31,880
Excuse me.

437
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:34,920
Can I have your autograph please?

438
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:36,200
I'm a huge fan.

439
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,480
Is that so?

440
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:43,040
Yeah, I've seen everything
you've been in.

441
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,120
Those episodes of "The Love Boat".

442
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:46,800
"The Bionic Woman",
and "Songbirds".

443
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:47,920
"In the Night",

444
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:52,480
And I saw your first ever TV appearance
"The Twilight Zone - House of Mirrors".

445
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:54,400
Right.

446
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,680
But my all-time favorite has
to be "A Day Too Long".

447
00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:59,640
You were great in that.

448
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:06,440
What's you name, honey?

449
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,200
Sidney.
Sidney Young.

450
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:15,560
Thanks.

451
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:16,960
I'll remember that.

452
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:20,200
Thank you.

453
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,120
I mean you look around you
and it's all shit, you know.

454
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,680
No-one's making movies that
are fucking worthwhile.

455
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,960
I have disagree with you Vincent.

456
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,840
You're making movies
that are worthwhile.

457
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,440
This is what I'm saying.

458
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,600
You have to inspire yourself.

459
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,000
I am my role model,
I want to be me.

460
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:41,960
What's the greatest film ever made?

461
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:42,920
Excuse me?

462
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:44,560
What is the greatest film ever made?

463
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:45,480
Have a guess.

464
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:49,720
Well... I don't know,
I don't think there is one...

465
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:50,680
Have a guess!

466
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,600
Yeah, have a guess,
what's the greatest film ever made.

467
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,000
It's hard to say.

468
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,200
I personally love
La Dolce Vita.

469
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:57,880
Incorrect.

470
00:30:58,720 --> 00:30:59,600
Con Air.

471
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:01,520
I beg your pardon?

472
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:02,600
Con Air.

473
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:04,200
Right? It's got everything hasn't it?

474
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:06,840
You got Malkovich for your acting chops.

475
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:08,320
You got Nicky Cage for your action.

476
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:09,600
And Steve Buscemi for your comedy.

477
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,440
John Cusack for the gays...

478
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:13,960
It's like a smorgisboard isn't it?

479
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,680
I don't think we've been introduced.

480
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:20,880
Mr Young, this is Eleanor Johnson.

481
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:22,560
Queen of New York.

482
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:24,040
Sidney is from England.

483
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,160
He's our very own "idiot savant",
without the "savant".

484
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,080
Well it's always nice to have
fresh blood to these things.

485
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:36,960
Which reminds me,
I am here with Sophie Maes.

486
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,120
I want you to meet her.

487
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,400
His new film,
"The Making of a Saint".

488
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,200
The buzz is amazing.

489
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:45,280
The release is being tied in with the
roll-out of the Versace campaign.

490
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,040
And Louis Vuiton is on the line.

491
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:49,760
This train is leaving the station.

492
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:51,400
What, you're a publicist?

493
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,280
I don't really like that word Sidney.

494
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,400
What do I call you then?

495
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,160
You can call me Eleanor.

496
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:00,520
All right.

497
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:02,440
There she is.

498
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:49,360
Sophie, give us a smile!

499
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:12,640
This one will go far.

500
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:17,320
Where is the car?

501
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:19,720
What's it doing at the back?

502
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,320
Well, forget what I said,
I want it at the front now.

503
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,560
I just think it's so awful
how we're still exploiting animals,

504
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,120
Which is why I won't wear fur,
or leather, or wear makeup.

505
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:31,840
I'm a vegetarian.

506
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:33,600
I'm with you on that one.

507
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:35,480
I won't eat anything with eyebrows.

508
00:33:35,830 --> 00:33:39,500
Or something that can chuckle. I would
never eat an animal that could chuckle.

509
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:43,600
I'm sorry, I can't really
understand your accent very well.

510
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:45,640
I just.. nothing.... just

511
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:47,480
So you're an actress?

512
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,240
So you've not won any Oscars then?

513
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:50,200
No.

514
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,440
Cause I would definitely vote for
you for best supporting dress.

515
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:56,400
I haven't been nominated for anything.

516
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:57,680
I realise, I'm just saying...

517
00:33:57,760 --> 00:33:59,680
Sophie, dear,
Are you ready?

518
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:00,800
Yeah.

519
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,040
I was joking...
cause your dress was obviously...

520
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,400
You know what to do.

521
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:09,720
Thank you.

522
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,760
Lovely.

523
00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:14,320
Sophie, Sophie!

524
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:26,440
I'm going to the circle club,
I'll see you tomorrow.

525
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:27,880
Okay, good night.

526
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:31,680
Push up.

527
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:32,840
Where are you going?

528
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:33,640
I'm going to the club.

529
00:34:33,720 --> 00:34:35,160
I'm sorry, you're not on the list.

530
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:37,240
Cuba!

531
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:39,480
See, even Cuba says so.

532
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:41,280
Cuba...

533
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,320
Who's a good boy.

534
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:44,400
To the Circle Club.

535
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,360
It just turns my stomach.

536
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:50,640
He's pouring all over her, he's
old enough to be her father.

537
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:51,760
No he isn't.

538
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:52,720
Yes he is.

539
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,720
Actually I was producing
sperm when I was 13...

540
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:58,000
For your information he wasn't pawing
her, he was just doing his job.

541
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,040
In case you haven't noticed, Sharp's has
to have a star on its cover every month

542
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:02,920
And most of these stars are
Eleanor's clients so...

543
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:04,400
do not piss her off.

544
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,360
She's a flack.
Hacks do not take orders from flacks.

545
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:11,640
And I wouldn't call that doing his job,
he had no blood left in his upper body

546
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:17,640
Oh, and the next time you want to do that
hilariously ironic "I love Con Air" skid...

547
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,320
- I wasn't being ironic...
- would you mind?

548
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:24,280
Not doing it in front of Vincent Lepak,
who happens to be very important.

549
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:27,240
Yeah, I could tell that by the way he was
allowed to stay up past his bedtime.

550
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:30,240
Do you think she'll go out with me?

551
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:31,160
Who?

552
00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:32,800
Sophie Maes, do you think
she'll go out with me?

553
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:33,760
No.

554
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:35,800
Girls like Sophie do
not date journalists.

555
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,240
As far as she's concerned
you're the help.

556
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:39,760
What do you know anyway?

557
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:41,440
A lot of these starlets
are lonely.

558
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:42,960
All they do is look around for men.

559
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,520
This is New York, Sidney, women
only date men who are successful.

560
00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:47,680
I'm gonna be successful.

561
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:48,960
And tall.

562
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:00,320
Have you seen this?

563
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:01,760
She's everywhere.

564
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:05,600
Good cover.

565
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,360
From Sophie Maes.

566
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:14,560
Thanks for the great night.

567
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:16,040
Sweet kid.

568
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:19,400
Sidney...
about last night.

569
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:21,760
A word of advice.

570
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,480
Don't talk to the celebrities.

571
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,440
Sophie said you made her uncomfortable.

572
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:16,000
So Brad's people finally
got back to me with the agreement.

573
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:17,840
We have the whole afternoon
before the shoot.

574
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:20,160
Good work Lawrence.

575
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:21,840
OK, if that's it...

576
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:24,960
Actually I was thinking Clay...

577
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:26,880
Paris Hilton.

578
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:31,240
I do a profile of her as if
she's this complete recluse,

579
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,000
Like a hermit.

580
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:35,080
I'm tracking her down.

581
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,760
Who is the elusive Paris Hilton,
and why she's so publicity shy?

582
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:44,320
Good...

583
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:46,640
Just changing....

584
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,360
That's first room stuff, Sidney,
and call me Clay one more time

585
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:51,960
see what happens.

586
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,280
Sorry.

587
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,320
No, I love this, but I'm
so fat I couldn't.

588
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:04,480
Get out of here.

589
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:05,920
You look totally rexy.

590
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:07,760
God, that's so sweet.

591
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,760
I don't mean to be rude Sidney,
but what the fuck do you want?

592
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:19,760
You know how things work here,

593
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,640
How am I gonna get a piece
of the magazine?

594
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,040
I thought all this fluff
was beneath you.

595
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,640
It is beneath me,
but things have changed.

596
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:28,520
What's changed?

597
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,760
I know everybody thinks I'm
a bit of an idiot.

598
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:34,760
And maybe I didn't have the
best start here, but...

599
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:36,720
I want...
I want...

600
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:40,360
I want to have sex with Sophie Maes,
before Maddox does.

601
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,840
You're loathsome, do you know that?

602
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:46,120
I know he's got a bit of a head start.

603
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:49,240
But I think I can win her back,
cause once I get my hooks into a girl,

604
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:50,640
She never gets free.

605
00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:51,800
Like ringworm?

606
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:53,040
If you like.

607
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,240
Where you going?

608
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,440
Hey buddy, you big corporate
dick lick...

609
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:14,160
Hello, I'd like to apply for a
a Master Card, please.

610
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:15,840
Yeah.

611
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:18,480
Hon. Sidney Young.

612
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,760
Hon, H-O-N, it's short for honorable.

613
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:23,960
Yeah, it's a British title.

614
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:25,880
The Queen?

615
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,120
Yeah, I know the Queen.

616
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,320
She used to be in my
break-dancing posse.

617
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:31,440
She's a buddy more than anything.

618
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:34,720
Fuck!

619
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:39,400
Hello Cuba...

620
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:42,560
He likes you.

621
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:45,560
So, how does it feel to be a star?

622
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,040
No, no, it's so embarrassing,

623
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:52,320
Those pictures are everywhere now, and I
had no idea that dress was so see-through.

624
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,200
Plus everybody's talking like
it was some kind of stunt.

625
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:56,640
Such a cynical age, hmm?

626
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:58,640
Hello Sidney.

627
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,720
I was looking for my...

628
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:11,000
Lawrence is taking us to
lunch at Cipriani.

629
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,160
That's nice.

630
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,560
Can I leave Cuba here?
He doesn't like Italian food.

631
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:18,040
Of course you can,
he can stay in my office.

632
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,920
Sidney, fetch Cuba a bowl of water.

633
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:23,080
Well, of course.

634
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,160
That is a lovely ring.
Where is that from?

635
00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:36,040
It was my mother's,
she gave it to me.

636
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,240
Oh, you sweetie.

637
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,400
It's very very...

638
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:42,880
So listen.

639
00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:46,800
You've met Vincent Lepak,
haven't you Sidney?

640
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,080
Eh, yeah.

641
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,520
He has a new movie coming out soon.

642
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,080
And Lawrence is already
stretched as it is.

643
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,320
How would you like to
do the feature on him?

644
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:02,600
Yeah, I would actually.

645
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:04,000
Yes, very much.

646
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:04,960
Well, great.

647
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,000
Maybe we can get together
and discuss the angle.

648
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:10,800
Okay.

649
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:13,640
What do you mean, angle?

650
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,200
Well I need to know how
we're going to present Vincent,

651
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,160
Check the story and so on.

652
00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:22,520
Are you saying you want copy approval?

653
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:26,680
Any stories written about
my clients need to be

654
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:27,960
in their best interest.

655
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:29,080
That's all.

656
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:33,560
If things work out with Vincent,
maybe we can talk about a follow-up

657
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:35,240
story on Sophie.

658
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:38,080
What do you think?

659
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:42,680
I'm sorry, I don't work that way.

660
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,800
Sidney, dear...

661
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:49,160
Think of it like this,

662
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:54,280
You write about one of my clients,
you are borrowing some of their starlight,

663
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,240
To help sell your magazine.

664
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:58,640
All I'm saying is "quid pro quo".

665
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:02,000
Starlight?

666
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:26,800
Hello Cuba...

667
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:28,520
Hello.

668
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:33,520
It's uncle Sidney, I've come to
see how you are, yes.

669
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:36,360
What's this?

670
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:38,680
Would you like a little play?

671
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:44,440
Fetch!

672
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:45,680
There you go.

673
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:47,200
That's it, that's it.

674
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:49,840
Well done.

675
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:54,920
You and me are going to
be pals, aren't we?

676
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:58,440
You're going to like me much much better
than that prick Maddox. Yes you are.

677
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:01,440
Ready?

678
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:39,640
Come on...

679
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:41,800
Shit...

680
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:44,600
That's my bag.

681
00:43:45,720 --> 00:43:47,320
Yes, I was going to borrow
it for a second.

682
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:48,200
What are you talking about?

683
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:49,600
I'll bring it right back, I'm just..

684
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:57,040
Oh my!

685
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:00,480
It was an accident.

686
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:01,680
What did you do?

687
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:04,400
I was just trying to
make friends... and then...

688
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,815
Please don't tell her,
don't tell her.

689
00:44:06,825 --> 00:44:08,120
Cuba!

690
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:11,560
Fuck no.

691
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:18,560
What are you doing?

692
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:23,400
Alison!

693
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,880
Have you seen Cuba?

694
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:25,800
What?

695
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:27,560
Have you seen Sophie's dog?

696
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:34,600
No, no idea.

697
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:36,720
Well come and help us find him.
Don't worry.

698
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:56,040
Clay, you got a minute?

699
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:57,800
You find that rat yet?

700
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:03,400
No, not yet, probably just
got out of the building.

701
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:06,880
Congratulations on the
"Man of the Year" thing.

702
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:08,840
How was lunch?

703
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:10,040
I don't know.

704
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:12,720
A thousands dollars a plate
all I could taste was ass.

705
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:14,880
I'm kissing their ass,
they're kissing my ass.

706
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:17,760
I get this dream sometimes.

707
00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:21,960
Someone's set fire to the building.

708
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:25,960
Heywood, Sharp's magazine,
the whole thing up in flames.

709
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,600
My analyst, he thinks it's
an anxiety dream.

710
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:34,800
I never let him know how happy
I am watching the fucker burn.

711
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:37,280
What do you want?

712
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:39,880
I want to write a story
about Vincent Lepak.

713
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,920
Not a puff piece, something funny, with
teeth, like Snipe would have done.

714
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,360
Everyone's treating him like some sort
of genius, and he's not, he's an idiot.

715
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:49,760
Look at this.

716
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:53,040
Why do I have a closet full of
blue fucking shirts?

717
00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:55,120
I don't know...

718
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:56,520
I don't know either.

719
00:45:57,800 --> 00:45:59,800
This is an office, for god's sake.

720
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:04,360
Why do I even have a fucking closet?

721
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:10,240
Do it.

722
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:12,435
Fuck, yeah!

723
00:46:12,445 --> 00:46:14,680
Do it.
He's an annoying little prick.

724
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:16,680
We'll take him down.

725
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:20,360
This is your shot.

726
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:21,520
Thanks Clayton.

727
00:46:21,720 --> 00:46:22,920
You're my little hit-man.

728
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:24,200
Yes, I am your little hit-man.

729
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:25,120
Go do it.

730
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:26,280
Okay!

731
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:29,960
You can call me "The Jackal".

732
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:30,880
Out!

733
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:31,840
Okay.

734
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:34,240
Mr Young.

735
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:35,560
Yes.

736
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:36,920
I'm Sophie Mae's assistant.

737
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,160
I'm afraid Sophie isn't
here right now.

738
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:40,720
Well, I know she's here.

739
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:42,880
I'm not a stalker.
I just know she's upset because...

740
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:44,320
She lost the dog.

741
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:45,720
She isn't here.

742
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,120
All right, well can you please just find
out if she got my presents?

743
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:50,800
Okay...

744
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,200
Did you send the flowers?

745
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,040
Flowers?

746
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:58,320
Yeah, cause she doesn't get enough
flowers, does she? I sent the fish.

747
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:03,120
You know, goldfish,
in a bowl.

748
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:04,680
Did she get 'em?

749
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:07,560
Yes, but they were dead.

750
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:11,320
All of 'em?

751
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:12,360
Yeah.

752
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,200
It was kind of shocking actually.

753
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:16,400
Were they dead when you sent them?

754
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:17,920
No!

755
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:19,640
Who sends people dead fish?

756
00:48:21,240 --> 00:48:22,520
The Mafia.

757
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,400
Oh my god!
You're like a serial killer.

758
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:34,320
No, no, no, that wasn't me.

759
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:37,360
I laid him to rest.

760
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:39,320
Cuba.

761
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:40,680
I took him out to the eh...

762
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:42,200
I don't want to know.

763
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:44,240
You might want your bag back.

764
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:45,320
Stop.

765
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:51,880
Also just the whole, not telling thing,
just wanted to say I appreciate that...

766
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:54,600
because you didn't have to do it,
a lot of people wouldn't have done it.

767
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:56,160
Why didn't you?

768
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,440
You don't need my help to
screw up here Sidney.

769
00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:01,880
The only thing you make are mistakes.

770
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,280
And stains.

771
00:49:05,720 --> 00:49:06,680
Can I help you?

772
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:08,640
Just a couple of straws please.

773
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:14,800
Let me ask...
What is it with this book?

774
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:17,000
You're always writing in it.
Is it like a diary?

775
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:22,240
It's a novel I'm working on.

776
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:25,960
- Wow!
- Yeah, I know, I'm a walking clich�.

777
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:28,160
No, it's all right,
it's very impressive.

778
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:29,400
And you're writing it by hand?

779
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:30,960
Yeah.

780
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:35,960
I don't know, it keeps it separate from
the magazine work, makes it seem special.

781
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:39,320
You're full of surprises, sister.

782
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:43,400
Ah, White Russian, been waiting
for your boyfriend?

783
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,920
Yeah, he'll be here soon.

784
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:50,500
What does he do this mystery guy?
Is he like a hack too, or...

785
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:52,360
Actually he's a poet.

786
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:54,000
Oooh is he?

787
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:55,760
What does he look like?

788
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:56,920
What?

789
00:49:57,120 --> 00:50:00,080
Poets are not known for
being that good-looking,

790
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:03,520
'cause they're always in dark rooms,
and they look like Golum

791
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:05,880
He's very handsome, thank you.

792
00:50:06,180 --> 00:50:07,380
Of course he is.

793
00:50:07,490 --> 00:50:09,380
You know what I don't understand.

794
00:50:09,490 --> 00:50:11,200
You're so desperate to get
a story in the magazine,

795
00:50:11,210 --> 00:50:13,740
So why wouldn't you play
ball with Eleanor, write a puff piece?

796
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,360
I resent being bribed to gush
sycophantically by the star.

797
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:19,560
I choose to gush sycophantically.

798
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:21,360
Okay.

799
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:23,880
Anyway, Clayton's given me
a story so, I'm on my way.

800
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:25,080
That's good.

801
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:31,520
In a world where passion is
forbidden, and belief divine,

802
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:35,640
The love you've held for a man,
she gave to all mankind.

803
00:50:35,720 --> 00:50:39,200
You've given yourself
to Christ my child.

804
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:43,000
How can it be wrong...?

805
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:45,600
I believe in love,
that is all we have.

806
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,520
And we must give it
wherever it is most needed.

807
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,240
Sometimes, before you can
find God,

808
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:54,720
You have to find the world.

809
00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:56,120
Calcutta.

810
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:58,800
Stand up, Mother Teresa.

811
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:04,800
Sophie Maes is Mother Teresa in
"The Making of a Saint".

812
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:10,720
Anyway I got to shoo off,
I leave you in peace.

813
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:12,280
With your poet.

814
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:14,840
Bye.

815
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:16,240
Bye.

816
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:18,640
I've still got the receipt so...

817
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,440
Which, makes it a half a page left,

818
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:33,720
Lawrence, any ideas?

819
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:37,520
Yes, Rachel Petkoff, fabulous
Sundance actress.

820
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:39,840
One of my all-time favorites.

821
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,600
Just made a movie called 5 Burros.

822
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,440
I think she's poised for a comeback.

823
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:48,880
And I think we should get
there first, do a piece

824
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:52,280
Sounds good.
Let's do it.

825
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:53,720
Okay, that's it people.

826
00:51:57,680 --> 00:51:58,480
What?

827
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:00,400
Did you read my piece
on Vincent Lepak?

828
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:03,120
Yeah, that...

829
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:06,440
That's not gonna work.

830
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:10,560
Oh, and for those of you
who haven't heard.

831
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:12,880
Alison will be running the
"I Spy" section from now on,

832
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:17,200
As Laurence here is moving up in the
world, he's replacing Greg Roberts

833
00:52:17,240 --> 00:52:18,360
as Deputy Editor.

834
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:28,400
Congratulations.

835
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:30,560
I'm Sorry.

836
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:32,360
Since when is Rachel one of
your favorite actresses?

837
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:33,760
You'd never fucking heard of her.

838
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:34,960
That was my idea.

839
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:36,120
And so it was yes.

840
00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:41,360
If you have any more good ideas don't
forget to bring them by my new office.

841
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:46,440
By the way.

842
00:52:47,240 --> 00:52:50,160
There's been complaints about you
skulking by the water cooler.

843
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,000
Trying to talk to women,
that's inappropriate behaviour.

844
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:54,040
What?

845
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:56,000
You spend your life chatting
up the staff.

846
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:57,640
When I do it it's called
flirting,

847
00:52:57,720 --> 00:52:59,520
When you do it, it's called
sexual harassment.

848
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:01,000
Consider this an official warning.

849
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:04,160
I will not tolerate
sexist behavior.

850
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:15,240
I know that wasn't Greg's
way of working.