1
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:15,514
(Jungle animals chittering)
2
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:29,194
All right, guys. Quiet down.
3
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,779
- Kill it.
- (indistinct chatter)
4
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:32,614
All right, I'd like to propose a toast.
5
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:35,451
(cheering)
6
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:40,247
- To the three rings of marriage.
- (clamoring)
7
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:44,251
- There's the engagement ring.
- (all) Aw!
8
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:47,337
- There's the wedding ring.
- (all) Oh!
9
00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:50,549
- And there's suffering!
- (all shouting)
10
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,886
- To Paul!
- (all cheering)
11
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:58,140
- Thank you.
- (all chanting) Drink! Drink! Drink!
12
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:04,354
(all cheering)
13
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:10,861
(playing jazzy rock)
14
00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:16,283
Come on, man. Loosen up a little. Huh?
15
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,535
I'm the uptight lawyer,
everybody knows that, but you...
16
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:21,330
- You're the crazy one in the family.
- I know.
17
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,540
- Relax and have fun.
- (sighs)
18
00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:26,502
My bachelor party was
the last good time in my marriage.
19
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,296
Maybe your marriage didn't work
20
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,423
because you had too much fun
at the bachelor party.
21
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:34,927
My marriage didn't work because
Deena was impossible to please.
22
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,720
Your marriage is gonna be fine.
You've got Karen.
23
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:40,015
And she's... beautiful, she's smart,
24
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:44,186
she's funny, she's kind to animals,
25
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:49,066
she's sexy, she's very sexy,
she's got a great sense of style...
26
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:52,361
- Pete.
- Yeah? (laughs) I'm just a big fan.
27
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:56,907
I can't believe my little brother's
getting married.
28
00:01:57,075 --> 00:02:01,787
- I gotta run. I love you.
- OK... Hey!
29
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,958
You are a lucky, lucky man.
30
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,884
- (toilet flushing)
- (man laughs)
31
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,554
Paul, high five! Whoo!
32
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:23,183
- Good luck in there. Congratulations.
- Thanks.
33
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,692
Listen, Jim. About the girls...
34
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,944
I'm not sure.
35
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,576
- I totally understand, dude.
- Oh. You do?
36
00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:42,077
- Absolutely.
- Good.
37
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,830
And I want you to know something, man.
38
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,582
I don't give a shit.
39
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:49,585
- Then you be the groom.
- No, that's not how it works.
40
00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:51,503
No, hang on a second.
I'm giving you a chance
41
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,547
to be the groom at a bachelor party,
42
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,592
and you don't have to
get married next Saturday.
43
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,427
Think about that.
44
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,559
Listen up, everybody.
45
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,564
As of this moment, I am the groom!
46
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:13,483
(all cheering)
47
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,363
- We got tiki girls!
- Whoo!
48
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,824
(¶ Buddy Scott Trio "Lust For Life")
49
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:26,747
¶ Got a lust for life
50
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,790
¶ A lust for life
51
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,793
¶ I got a lust for life
52
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:33,712
¶ I got a lust for life
53
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:37,466
¶ Here comes Johnny Yen again
54
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,677
¶ With the liquor and drugs
55
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,555
- ¶ And a flesh machine
- (laughs)
56
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,350
¶ He's gonna do another strip tease
57
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:50,979
- Where's the groom?
- Whoo!
58
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:56,443
¶ I've been hurting
Ever since I bought the gimmick
59
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,487
Oh!
60
00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,696
Sorry.
61
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:05,035
Hey! Mmm! (chuckles)
62
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:13,168
- Wow, you really suck at this.
- Yeah, it's my first day.
63
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:18,173
- Could you buy me a beer?
- Yeah. (laughs)
64
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:19,967
(Paul) Jimmy!
65
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,559
(radio static)
66
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:34,523
(¶ EELS "Mr. E's Beautiful Blues")
67
00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:45,177
(phone ringing)
68
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,351
(phone continues ringing)
69
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:03,403
(phone continues ringing)
70
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:11,453
- Hello?
- (woman) Hi, Paul.
71
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:14,873
- Oh, hi, Mrs. Cooper.
- I'm gonna be your mother-in-law.
72
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,959
- You can call me Sandra.
- Hi, Sandra.
73
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:21,254
- So how was the bachelor party?
- (groans)
74
00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:24,758
You know, silly.
It's really such an outdated ritual.
75
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:29,137
You are every mother-in-law's dream.
Listen, could you put Karen on for me?
76
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:30,847
Yeah, sure. Hold on.
77
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:37,396
- Oh, my God.
- Paul? What is it?
78
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:40,440
- Is something the matter?
- Uh...
79
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:43,693
- I guess Karen hasn't arrived yet.
- What do you mean?
80
00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:46,822
She's on her way over there.
She should have been there by now.
81
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:51,034
Uh, no, not here yet, Sandra.
Listen, I'm gonna have to get goin', OK?
82
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,328
- OK, but could you please have her...
- Yeah...
83
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:56,498
Holy shit. Um...
84
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,502
Miss? Ma'am?
85
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:04,840
- Hey.
- Hey. Listen,
86
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:08,718
- you're gonna have to leave now.
- OK, well, good morning to you, too.
87
00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:12,013
Look, I'm really not a rude guy,
but you're gonna have to go, like, now.
88
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:16,184
- OK, I'm going.
- My fiancee is on her way over here.
89
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:22,190
- You're getting married?
- Yeah, only if you leave really soon.
90
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,360
You weren't the guy
with the groom hat on.
91
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:28,071
Listen, I'd love to explain it to you,
but instead you have to leave right now.
92
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:31,283
- I'm gonna get my ass kicked.
- That is very clear.
93
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:40,876
What happened?
94
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:44,921
- OK, let's go.
- Bad news. I can't find my underwear.
95
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:46,047
Uh, can I mail them to you?
96
00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:47,883
Yes, please mail them to me.
They're my only pair.
97
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,718
Just give me your address.
98
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,970
OK, wait, I have more
than one pair of underwear.
99
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:56,683
Oh, right, uh, I'll just find them
before she gets here. OK, OK.
100
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:59,060
Calm down. You're freaking out,
and if you're freaking out
101
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,146
when your fiancee gets here,
you're gonna freak her out.
102
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,983
I know, because you're freaking me out
and I don't even know you. Just be cool.
103
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,277
Hey, I'm cool. I'm a very cool guy,
104
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,280
cooler than most of the guys
you probably meet doing what you do.
105
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:13,074
No offense. Look, this is just
a really bad situation for me, OK?
106
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:16,745
Trust me, I'm not this guy. After you.
107
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:31,218
If you see a pair of bikini underwear
lying around, see this guy.
108
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:33,720
Can you not say that, please?
109
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,973
(whispers) Can you do me a favor
and take the back stairs?
110
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:40,435
In case I had any tiny speck
of self-esteem left?
111
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,604
I bet that goes over
really well with the ladies.
112
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:46,608
- There are no "ladies," all right?
- Right.
113
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:50,278
Uh! It's actually...
Thank you, Mrs. Jackson.
114
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:53,573
- Aloha.
- Wedding planner.
115
00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:57,327
(door slams)
116
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,540
We were thinking of going
with the whole luau thing.
117
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:04,292
That's what's happening. Good day.
118
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,506
(groans)
119
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,218
Oh, shit.
120
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,845
Not there. God!
121
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:22,352
(Hawaiian music plays)
122
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,486
A-ha!
123
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,659
Shit.
124
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:40,829
(shudders)
125
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:45,625
- Paul, could you undo the chain?
- One second.
126
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:52,215
(Karen) Paul. What's going on?
127
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,634
(door rattling)
128
00:09:55,803 --> 00:10:00,015
(Karen) Please undo the chain.
I am standing out here.
129
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,312
Paul, are you OK?
130
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:08,565
Karen, sweetheart, what a surprise.
131
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:12,068
- Why'd you chain the door shut?
- You know, can't be too safe.
132
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:16,531
So, how was the bachelor party?
A little hung over?
133
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,158
(laughs) Not at all.
134
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:21,745
Paul, I know what happens
at these things.
135
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:24,539
You should not feel guilty and
you don't have to tell me anything.
136
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,251
Unless there's something
you wanna tell me.
137
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:34,799
- Wait, no, please. Let me explain!
- Shut up! Shut up!
138
00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:43,224
- Well, maybe I had a drink or two.
- Yeah, I'm sure you kept it to two.
139
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:49,648
OK, look. I got all your outfits
for the parties this week.
140
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:53,902
- This...
- Wow. That's a nice sweater.
141
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,738
- And you like?
- I like.
142
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,740
I thought it would be perfect
for the rehearsal dinner.
143
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,993
- Perfect. Yeah.
- I knew you'd like it.
144
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:05,246
How is the string quartet coming along?
145
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:09,501
- Oh, I'm on it.
- Paul, it is the one thing
146
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,212
I have asked you to do for this wedding.
147
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:16,633
Yeah, it's basically
almost completely...
148
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,680
...taken care of.
149
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,349
How was the bachelorette party?
150
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,601
Oh, my God, total blast.
We went to Giggles.
151
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,938
And we sat right in the front,
and we heckled the comedians.
152
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,232
(laughs) And Jodie got so wasted!
153
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:37,487
Hello? Earth to Paul.
Over here, you great, big party animal.
154
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:41,074
- How about a kiss for that hangover?
- All right.
155
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:51,126
What are you...?
156
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,714
OK, OK. I have a million things to do.
157
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,799
My Great Aunt Budge
is coming in tomorrow.
158
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:03,513
- My mom is completely freaked out.
- Your mom called... this morning.
159
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:05,056
She did?
160
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:08,643
- Did she tell you I was coming over?
- Mmm-hmm.
161
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,062
Why were you so surprised to see me?
162
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,150
You know, I might be a little more
hung over than I thought.
163
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:19,654
- (laughs)
- You're a weirdo.
164
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,240
Oh, my God. I'm late.
165
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:40,175
What the hell happened last night?
Where were you?
166
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:43,094
Sorry, chief. I got waylaid.
167
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:48,183
- If you know what I'm sayin'. Way laid.
- What?
168
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,685
That tiki girl, Tonya.
169
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,690
I kept trying to turn off the charm,
but I guess I couldn't find the switch.
170
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,192
Jim, you're not listening to me.
171
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:59,986
I woke up this morning
with a strange woman in my bed.
172
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,071
How could this happen? Was I that drunk?
173
00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,991
That's awesome, man.
What are you complaining about?
174
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:09,579
- (Paul) What?
- Nice shoes.
175
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,873
Karen got 'em for me.
She wants me to break 'em in.
176
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,043
- They're special.
- Move.
177
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:21,841
- (sighs) I think I gotta tell Karen.
- Whoa! Paul, listen to me.
178
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:25,970
Do not, under any circumstances,
tell Karen.
179
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,389
What happened to you
last night is perfectly natural.
180
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:31,226
We're men. We're hunters.
181
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:34,229
- It's encrypted in our DNA code.
- (phone rings)
182
00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:37,273
You gotta accept that, buddy,
and get over it.
183
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,528
- I don't know what I'm gonna do.
- (woman on answering machine) Hi, Jim.
184
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:43,863
It's Tonya, from last night.
185
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:47,242
Uh, I was gonna be in the neighborhood
later and thought I might stop by.
186
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:50,328
- So give me a call, OK?
- Shit.
187
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,289
- (answering machine beeps)
- (Jim laughs)
188
00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:57,919
- That poor girl's been Jimmified.
- This is all your fault, man.
189
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:02,757
Probably, but Karen's
never gonna find out.
190
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:07,262
And the tiki girl? Come on.
191
00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:09,430
You're never gonna see her again.
192
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,770
(man on radio) A survey was made
one time that covered a lot of men.
193
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,147
Working men. And these men
were asked this question:
194
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:21,150
Why do you work?
Why do you get up in the morning?
195
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:23,778
Why, everyone goes
to work in the morning.
196
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:27,782
And that's the reason they do it,
because everyone else is doing it.
197
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:31,286
And there you have the trouble today.
It's conformity.
198
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,996
People acting like everyone else,
199
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:35,790
without knowing why,
without knowing where they're going.
200
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:40,003
We'll have more with Dr. Earl
after this short break on KCNP,
201
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,213
the best talk in Seattle.
202
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,345
- Hi. Hi!
- Holy shit!
203
00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:51,222
- Well...
- You work here?
204
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,349
- First day.
- What happened to the dancing?
205
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:55,643
- Um... I sucked.
- (horn honking)
206
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:59,063
Hey! Let's go, asshole!
207
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:02,233
- Uh... Just a sec. Sorry!
- (horn honking)
208
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:04,903
- So, listen, what's your name?
- Be...
209
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,070
- (man shouting)
- Hey!
210
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:09,365
Don't make me get out of my box, fella!
211
00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:10,658
- Fifty cents.
- (cars honking)
212
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,660
Listen, I just want you to know,
about what happened...
213
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:16,831
All right, well, you have a good day,
and please remember to drive safely.
214
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,499
- (people shouting)
- Ah!
215
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,043
Sorry.
216
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,794
- You're hitting my car.
- I know. I'm sorry.
217
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,881
- Look what you...
- I don't believe this!
218
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,883
You dented the hood of my car!
219
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:30,428
- Hang on!
- All right, well, good to see ya.
220
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:33,014
Stop!
221
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,851
- That's her. I...
- (horn honking)
222
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:58,081
I'm a little disturbed
about something, Paul.
223
00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:02,293
- Uh... What's that, sir?
- You had a bachelor party?
224
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:05,755
(stammering) I...
It's totally... It's... I...
225
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:11,511
I may be your bride-to-be's father,
but I'm still a man. Huh?
226
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,056
You sick son of a bitch!
227
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:18,393
- I'll kill you!
- (gagging) You're choking me.
228
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:23,064
Oh, no, it was, uh,
it was pretty uneventful.
229
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:27,068
We just watched hours of action movies
and talked about high school.
230
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:29,612
(stammering) It was a... It was a hoot.
231
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:33,282
(laughs) It's a good answer.
That's my boy.
232
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,245
- Oh, you like that, huh?
- Uh...
233
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:42,667
I know what you're thinking.
It's the good life, like you see on TV.
234
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:45,420
"That could never happen to me."
235
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:49,424
Well, you've made it, son.
You're one of us. Enjoy.
236
00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:51,259
Welcome to the club.
237
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:54,929
Thank you.
238
00:16:56,056 --> 00:17:01,019
OK, boys. Let's get started.
I've been in this business a long time.
239
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:04,981
If we can get The Modern Rifleman
up to 750,000,
240
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,316
I'll strip down to my shorts
and jump in the ocean.
241
00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:10,653
(laughter)
242
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,197
But my question is,
once you strip down to your shorts,
243
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,492
will you actually
loosen your tie? (laughs)
244
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:20,997
Have I fired you yet today, Curt?
245
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,460
- (laughs)
- (all laugh)
246
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:33,134
OK, enough frivolity.
Let's get down to business. Paul?
247
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,470
- Ah!
- (scratching)
248
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,639
- Paul?
- Yeah, yeah.
249
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:42,560
Tell us how the ad campaign looks
for North American River & Stream.
250
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,396
Uh, pretty good, sir. I'm projecting...
251
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,482
Why don't you get up there
and talk to us?
252
00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:50,234
Make a presentation. Take over the room.
253
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:54,030
Hooking us is just half the battle.
You still gotta reel us in, son.
254
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,491
(all laughing)
255
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,623
(scratching)
256
00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:08,544
(Paul groans)
257
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:11,881
OK, uh...
258
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,051
(scratching)
259
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,554
Well, it's a
good news/bad news situation.
260
00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:23,476
Uh... The good news is...
261
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:27,563
...we've had steady growth
over the last, uh... six months.
262
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:29,315
(all) That's good.
263
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:33,027
(scratching)
264
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,988
(indistinct mumbling)
265
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:43,704
Uh... (sighs) Ah!
266
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:46,833
Whoo!
267
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:50,753
Do you mind if I take
a quick restroom break?
268
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:54,882
- Uh... No, go ahead.
- Great.
269
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,051
All right, be right back.
270
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:02,557
Uh-oh. Looks like you're getting
a weak bladder in the family.
271
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:08,020
- (chuckles)
- (all laugh)
272
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,897
(clears throat)
273
00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:13,651
(Paul) Oh, my God, it burns.
274
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:18,614
What is it? (groans)
275
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:24,120
(moaning) Oh... Jesus Christ!
276
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,750
Ted. Hey.
277
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,921
Goddamn it.
278
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:48,644
(man) Thank you.
279
00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:51,480
- Hello.
- Oh, hey. What can I do for you?
280
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,526
I need to get some...
281
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,321
...crаb medicine.
282
00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:01,991
- What?
- Crab medicine. (clears throat)
283
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,952
- Huh?
- You know... (imitates scratching)
284
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:08,289
Oh, crab medicine. Um...
285
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:12,126
Let me see. Crab medicine,
crab medicine, crab medicine...
286
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,298
- (shouts) Gladys!
- What?
287
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:20,301
(shouting) Is crab medicine
aisle three or aisle four?
288
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,887
- Crаb medicine?
- Crаb medicine!
289
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,389
- Oh, crab medicine.
- Yeah.
290
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:29,560
- Aisle three.
- I'll get it, thanks. Excuse me.
291
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,029
Here you go. Good luck. (laughs)
292
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,823
So, like, are there any
special directions for this stuff?
293
00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:47,703
I don't know. Um...
Let me just ask Phil, OK?
294
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,664
Hey, Phil. This crab stuff.
295
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:52,541
Is there any special
application techniques?
296
00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:56,587
- Oh, he wants to see it.
- (woman) Paul?
297
00:20:56,755 --> 00:21:00,925
My future son-in-law. I thought
that was you. What a nice surprise.
298
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,719
- Sandra, hi.
- Small world.
299
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:05,513
So, what brings you here...?
300
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,224
Actually, I think I forgot something...
301
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,893
I am so relieved
that your mother decided
302
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,812
not to cook the rehearsal dinner.
303
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:16,440
I'm not saying anything about her
cooking. It is just a really big job.
304
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:19,360
That reminds me.
I've got to help her find a caterer.
305
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:23,906
Hey, there's my guy.
You almost left without your stuff.
306
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:27,576
- About those crаbs...
- Yeah. They were delicious.
307
00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:30,955
Jeff is an incredible chef.
308
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:35,626
He gave me a recipe for, uh,
Crаb Louis that was out of this world.
309
00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:37,962
- (Sandra) Really?
- Yeah. What?
310
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:41,549
- You're a chef?
- Well, yes, I am. Yep.
311
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:45,136
I'm, uh, putting myself
through cooking school,
312
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,638
doing the pharmacy thing, but...
313
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:49,724
Well, isn't that wonderful?
Is there a chance
314
00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:52,435
that you might be able to cook dinner
for 20 people on Friday?
315
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:57,398
It's a rehearsal dinner
for Paul and my daughter.
316
00:21:57,566 --> 00:22:00,818
Oh. Um,
I'm honored and everything, but...
317
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:04,071
- I can only pay $500.
- Done.
318
00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:06,324
- Wonderful.
- Incredible.
319
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:09,410
Well, that was easy. Thank you.
320
00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:23,257
Bucky, come on.
321
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:33,434
These are gonna be our in-laws,
so we really have to make sure that...
322
00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:36,812
Honey, I'm a pants salesman.
I think I know how to act around people.
323
00:22:36,980 --> 00:22:40,775
- (laughs) I know.
- I can sell pants. All right.
324
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:43,277
- Give your gift, baby.
- I like me inside.
325
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:44,987
- Yes.
- Yeah.
326
00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:48,115
Buck, Dorothy, welcome.
327
00:22:48,283 --> 00:22:49,658
- Hey.
- Hi!
328
00:22:49,826 --> 00:22:53,287
- I'm so sorry we're late.
- Please, you're fine.
329
00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:56,791
- Hi, Buck.
- How are ya? Nice area you got up here.
330
00:22:56,958 --> 00:22:58,959
Yeah, we like it.
331
00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:02,546
New Benz, I see. Must have
gotten ripped off on that thing.
332
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:07,635
- I don't think so. I looked around.
- Just joshing, kid. Fine vehicle.
333
00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:11,263
- Hi, Dorothy. Hi, Buck.
- Hey! Oh, there she is.
334
00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:14,767
- Oh, hi.
- What a beauty.
335
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:18,813
- What is that waist? 20 inches?
- Excuse me?
336
00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:22,733
- So where's the groom-to-be?
- Oh. He's not here yet.
337
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:25,486
Oh, well, you know Paul.
He always comes a little late.
338
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:27,488
What do you think of that, Kenny?
339
00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:30,116
(both laughing)
340
00:23:30,283 --> 00:23:32,785
Uh, why don't I get us all a drink?
341
00:23:35,664 --> 00:23:37,289
We've already had a six-pack.
342
00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:40,000
Yeah, we split that and a bag
of M&M's on the way up.
343
00:23:40,168 --> 00:23:41,836
(¶ Wayne Newton
"Strangers in the Night")
344
00:23:42,003 --> 00:23:43,796
- (man) Hors d'oeuvres, sir?
- (Buck) Hey!
345
00:23:43,964 --> 00:23:47,341
- Look at the size of these shrimps.
- Prаwns.
346
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:49,343
- There you go, cherie.
- Oh, sweetheart.
347
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:50,553
- (man) Ma'am?
- Mmm-mmm.
348
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,556
- Hello.
- Oh, good. Paul's finally here.
349
00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:55,349
Sorry I'm late.
350
00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:57,935
I was telling your mother
about the chef I hired
351
00:23:58,103 --> 00:24:00,020
to cater the rehearsal dinner.
352
00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:04,442
A pharmacist studying to be a chef.
That is really interesting.
353
00:24:04,609 --> 00:24:07,069
Paul, there's a very special
little lady in the kitchen
354
00:24:07,237 --> 00:24:10,030
who can't wait to lay her eyes on you.
355
00:24:10,198 --> 00:24:12,700
Let's go find Aunt Budge.
I can't wait for you to meet her.
356
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:17,705
- (Sandra) They are so cute.
- Yeah, they're cute together.
357
00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:21,333
So, Buck, uh, are you a duffer?
358
00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:25,880
Well, if you mean do I like playing
with my balls, the answer's yes.
359
00:24:26,047 --> 00:24:29,049
(laughter)
360
00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:31,844
Oh, shit.
361
00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:36,932
Oh, there's Budgie,
talking to my cousin Becky.
362
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:40,895
(laughing)
363
00:24:41,062 --> 00:24:44,231
Aunt Budge, this is Paul.
364
00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:49,820
- He's bald.
- (laughs)
365
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:51,572
Paul? (scoffs)
366
00:24:53,408 --> 00:24:56,076
Oh, God. I'm sorry, Becky.
367
00:24:56,244 --> 00:24:58,621
It's so good to see you.
You look beautiful.
368
00:24:58,788 --> 00:25:00,498
Oh! (laughs)
369
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:04,126
So how's life after Ray?
370
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:10,758
- Great. Best decision I ever made.
- Yeah, you are probably right,
371
00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:12,968
but it is nice to have
someone to come home to.
372
00:25:13,970 --> 00:25:15,429
Oh, God. Sorry.
373
00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:19,016
No, it's especially nice to come home
to that someone in bed with two girls.
374
00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:23,812
Two girls with one man?
Trust me, you never walk away satisfied.
375
00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:28,108
Reminds me of the time,
myself and Kathleen O'Rourke,
376
00:25:28,276 --> 00:25:30,110
who was a bit of a tart...
377
00:25:30,278 --> 00:25:33,280
You know what?
I'm gonna go see where Paul is.
378
00:25:33,448 --> 00:25:36,033
We were down at the pub celebrating.
Give me some.
379
00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:38,244
- Oh, no.
- Oh, come on, just a little bit.
380
00:25:38,411 --> 00:25:39,787
- She's gone.
- It's my wine. My wine.
381
00:25:39,955 --> 00:25:40,955
Anyway...
382
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:47,294
Paul? Where'd you go?
383
00:25:50,173 --> 00:25:51,298
Paul?
384
00:26:01,309 --> 00:26:02,393
Paul?
385
00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:11,902
Paul, what are you doing?
386
00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:17,157
- Karen? Hey.
- You're asleep?
387
00:26:17,325 --> 00:26:21,996
I guess so. I lost you somehow.
I guess I got disoriented.
388
00:26:22,163 --> 00:26:25,165
This is really weird.
Why did you just...?
389
00:26:25,333 --> 00:26:30,713
OK. The truth is,
I was gonna pop out and surprise you.
390
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,007
You know, the old
under-the-coats routine?
391
00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:39,179
But while I was laying here,
it was so warm, I guess I dozed off.
392
00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:43,851
(yawns)
393
00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:48,188
OK, well, never mind.
Let's go meet my Aunt Budge.
394
00:26:54,904 --> 00:26:57,448
Oh, Becky, I found him. He's up here.
395
00:27:01,870 --> 00:27:04,830
I'm just gonna get my purse.
396
00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:07,333
He exists, I swear.
397
00:27:14,341 --> 00:27:17,384
- Paul, I know you're in there.
- Yeah?
398
00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:20,888
- What is wrong?
- (Paul) It's diarrhea.
399
00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:24,767
- (groans)
- Oh, no.
400
00:27:24,934 --> 00:27:29,480
Maybe I should just
wait here... (groans) stick it out.
401
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,232
Or maybe I should just leave?
402
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,111
No. No, you can't leave.
You haven't even met Aunt Budge yet.
403
00:27:36,946 --> 00:27:42,576
Why don't you just wait a little
and see how you feel in a bit, OK?
404
00:27:45,288 --> 00:27:49,083
Everyone, just find your names
and sit down.
405
00:27:49,250 --> 00:27:51,168
(all chattering indistinctly)
406
00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:58,092
Well, I guess we'll sit here.
407
00:28:28,665 --> 00:28:29,957
(groans)
408
00:28:31,459 --> 00:28:33,836
A lot of fabric's overrated...
409
00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:45,889
Ow!
410
00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:50,811
I'll drink to that, Bucky, my boy.
Where's that drink?
411
00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:52,980
Oh, sweetie, grab it, grab it.
412
00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:57,151
Hey, everyone.
Um, I'd like to make a toast.
413
00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:05,993
- Here's to Karen, the bride-to-be.
- Oh, gosh. Thanks, Becky.
414
00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:14,293
(laughing)
415
00:29:19,507 --> 00:29:22,384
- Hmm.
- (alarm blaring)
416
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:25,345
That's my car. Come on, Buck.
417
00:29:28,558 --> 00:29:31,602
(car alarm blaring)
418
00:29:33,271 --> 00:29:36,523
- Aah...
- Everybody stay back.
419
00:29:36,691 --> 00:29:38,692
(car alarm stops)
420
00:29:41,446 --> 00:29:44,323
(Buck) Nobody touch anything.
You don't disturb a crime scene.
421
00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:47,993
- (indistinct chattering)
- There's your culprit, Daddy.
422
00:29:48,995 --> 00:29:51,955
(Ken) Well, it might be a raccoon.
I'm gonna get my salt gun.
423
00:29:52,957 --> 00:29:55,375
(Karen) I'm gonna go check on Paul.
Hope he's feeling better.
424
00:29:58,421 --> 00:30:00,047
Pretty exciting, huh?
425
00:30:06,513 --> 00:30:08,764
- (Karen) Paul?
- Yeah!
426
00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:12,601
- Paul, honey. It's Mom.
- (Paul groans)
427
00:30:12,769 --> 00:30:17,064
Did you eat something spicy?
You know how you get on spicy food.
428
00:30:18,358 --> 00:30:21,735
Got ya in my sights.
How'd you like rock salt up your ass?
429
00:30:23,279 --> 00:30:24,488
Holy shit!
430
00:30:26,241 --> 00:30:28,534
- Are you all right?
- I'm fine!
431
00:30:30,870 --> 00:30:32,955
Honey, honey, just let it come out.
432
00:30:33,122 --> 00:30:37,751
- Don't push too hard.
- (straining) It's almost there.
433
00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:40,087
- Oh, my God.
- It's bad.
434
00:30:40,255 --> 00:30:43,423
- What's goin' on up here?
- Paul's still not feeling well.
435
00:30:43,591 --> 00:30:45,092
Still stuck on the crapper.
436
00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:49,471
Yeah, you think I could get some...
437
00:30:49,639 --> 00:30:52,015
- (bottle squirting)
- (laughing, groaning)
438
00:30:52,183 --> 00:30:54,518
...privacy, please?
439
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,478
- Ah!
- Ooh!
440
00:30:58,106 --> 00:31:00,107
- Better. Whoo!
- (bottle farts)
441
00:31:00,275 --> 00:31:03,735
How about some
peach cobbler, everybody?
442
00:31:05,446 --> 00:31:07,447
(Aunt Budge) I'd kill for some diarrhea.
443
00:31:07,615 --> 00:31:10,659
I haven't had
a bowel movement in 40 days.
444
00:31:14,998 --> 00:31:17,124
- We'll see you Friday.
- Bye-bye.
445
00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:20,002
- Better hide the silver.
- I'll walk you to your car.
446
00:31:20,169 --> 00:31:23,672
- You didn't get to see Paul.
- I can meet Paul later this week.
447
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,800
OK, definitely.
I'm so sorry about all this.
448
00:31:26,968 --> 00:31:29,011
- Good night.
- OK, good night, Becky.
449
00:31:32,891 --> 00:31:37,352
- (Karen) Paul, how are you feelin'?
- OK, I guess. Is everyone gone?
450
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,272
Yep, you missed the whole party.
451
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:44,443
(Paul) Too bad.
I'm starting to feel better.
452
00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:46,528
(toilet flushes)
453
00:31:50,867 --> 00:31:54,453
God, well, I guess it's better
you get sick now than on Saturday.
454
00:31:54,621 --> 00:31:57,706
That's exactly right. I just hope
it's all out of my system now.
455
00:31:57,874 --> 00:32:00,292
Typical. Forgot my purse.
456
00:32:00,460 --> 00:32:05,213
Becky, here he is, finally.
This is Paul, my husband-to-be.
457
00:32:09,010 --> 00:32:11,470
Hi, Becky. Nice to meet you.
458
00:32:14,390 --> 00:32:17,851
So nice to meet you, Paul.
I've heard so much about you.
459
00:32:19,020 --> 00:32:22,481
- All lies, I'm sure.
- (both laugh)
460
00:32:22,649 --> 00:32:24,191
Probably.
461
00:32:30,114 --> 00:32:32,032
You look so familiar.
462
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:37,079
I get that all the time.
463
00:32:39,749 --> 00:32:41,249
Right?
464
00:32:41,417 --> 00:32:43,543
- You do?
- Yeah.
465
00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:47,172
Well, hey.
466
00:32:47,924 --> 00:32:51,593
- I'll see you this weekend.
- Can't wait. OK.
467
00:32:55,723 --> 00:32:57,057
Nice to meet you.
468
00:33:00,561 --> 00:33:03,438
So, that's Cousin Becky, huh?
469
00:33:04,732 --> 00:33:08,902
She's gotten so weird. No, that's mean.
She's so all-over-the-place.
470
00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:12,614
One week she's working here,
the next she's working there.
471
00:33:12,782 --> 00:33:16,451
Now, she's working at some
record store on Broad Street.
472
00:33:17,537 --> 00:33:20,539
- I do feel sorry for her, though.
- How come?
473
00:33:20,707 --> 00:33:23,291
Her ex-boyfriend, Ray Donovan.
What a psycho.
474
00:33:23,459 --> 00:33:25,043
(grunts)
475
00:33:25,211 --> 00:33:29,381
It's amazing how fragile
the human body is, don't you think?
476
00:33:29,549 --> 00:33:32,592
- Yes, sir.
- Yeah. Shut the fuck up.
477
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:36,179
Come on, Ray.
The guy just stole a donut.
478
00:33:36,347 --> 00:33:39,099
Yeah, well, that's
where it starts, Ernie! Huh?
479
00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:45,105
How you doin'?
480
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:52,112
Well, hello, fellas.
481
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,031
- Ray.
- (shouts)
482
00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:56,950
Special delivery.
483
00:34:05,293 --> 00:34:07,210
That's a little disheartening.
484
00:34:09,547 --> 00:34:13,550
(Pete) No, no, no, no, no.
You did not sleep with her cousin.
485
00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:15,427
Pete, I didn't know she was her cousin.
486
00:34:15,595 --> 00:34:17,721
Well, why would you sleep with anyone?
487
00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:23,560
Why? When you have Karen,
who's so stunning and witty
488
00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:28,315
and... delectable,
and has those little dimples...
489
00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:31,026
- Pete.
- What? You are a moron.
490
00:34:31,194 --> 00:34:33,987
How is it? Is it smoking? Listen.
491
00:34:34,155 --> 00:34:36,698
If you don't love it, I still
have double-breasted white ones
492
00:34:36,866 --> 00:34:39,993
sitting on the runway. You want
to talk about a burning-hot look.
493
00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:42,412
- Sizzle!
- Ahmed, no, that's fine.
494
00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:44,664
- This is great, thanks.
- Word.
495
00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:48,168
(exhales heavily)
496
00:34:48,711 --> 00:34:51,963
Anyway, she was cool about it.
497
00:34:52,965 --> 00:34:54,341
Was she drunk?
498
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,845
- What do you mean?
- Wait till she's drunk.
499
00:34:59,013 --> 00:35:00,889
Next Thanksgiving or Christmas,
or better yet,
500
00:35:01,057 --> 00:35:03,433
this Saturday at your wedding,
after she's had four gin and tonics,
501
00:35:03,601 --> 00:35:06,144
and she steps up to the microphone
and she's telling the whole world.
502
00:35:06,312 --> 00:35:07,562
That's not gonna happen.
503
00:35:07,730 --> 00:35:10,232
"Everyone, your attention, please.
I think you should know
504
00:35:10,399 --> 00:35:12,400
that Karen's husband, Paul,
nailed me last Saturday.
505
00:35:12,568 --> 00:35:15,570
We had hot sex,
and now I'm carrying his child.
506
00:35:16,364 --> 00:35:18,406
Thank you for listening.
Please return to your entrees."
507
00:35:19,534 --> 00:35:22,369
- It's not gonna happen.
- How are we doing in here, superstars?
508
00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:25,330
Great, Ahmed. How about it, huh?
509
00:35:25,498 --> 00:35:26,957
I go now.
510
00:35:41,931 --> 00:35:45,267
(¶ The Briefs "New Shoes")
511
00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:58,405
Right on.
512
00:35:58,573 --> 00:36:00,907
(¶ Ben Kweller "Family Tree")
513
00:36:11,419 --> 00:36:16,047
Excuse me, sir? There's nothing
for you in that stack. Uh...
514
00:36:17,758 --> 00:36:19,759
- Let me help you with that.
- No, I got it...
515
00:36:21,596 --> 00:36:23,513
Sorry.
516
00:36:25,308 --> 00:36:29,019
What does that mean,
"There's nothing for you in that stack?"
517
00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:30,687
That stuff's too advanced.
518
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,691
- You're saying I'm not advanced?
- No, I'm just saying
519
00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:36,610
I know where you are
musically right now,
520
00:36:36,777 --> 00:36:38,278
and it's not in that stack.
521
00:36:38,446 --> 00:36:41,781
And frankly, I'm not really
sure it's in this store.
522
00:36:41,949 --> 00:36:45,118
Oh, really? Since when did you
become the music expert?
523
00:36:45,286 --> 00:36:48,079
Since, uh... Tuesday?
524
00:36:48,247 --> 00:36:50,790
- Mr. Shiny Shoes.
- Wait.
525
00:36:50,958 --> 00:36:53,168
Look, I just came by
because I wanted to...
526
00:36:53,336 --> 00:36:54,586
...apologize for the other night.
527
00:36:54,754 --> 00:36:56,963
Oh, and for never mentioning
you were marrying my cousin!
528
00:36:57,131 --> 00:37:01,343
- I didn't know, I'm sorry.
- No, don't apologize. You were amazing.
529
00:37:01,510 --> 00:37:03,887
Oh, well, thank you.
530
00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:08,141
It's just that I don't normally sleep
with a girl and then just...
531
00:37:08,309 --> 00:37:10,143
Hey, Paul, right? Paul?
532
00:37:10,311 --> 00:37:13,063
The funny thing about that is,
we didn't sleep together.
533
00:37:13,689 --> 00:37:16,816
I mean, we slept together,
but we didn't "sleep" together.
534
00:37:16,984 --> 00:37:20,070
We didn't? So I'm not amazing?
535
00:37:20,238 --> 00:37:23,990
I couldn't say,
but for the record, you were cute.
536
00:37:24,158 --> 00:37:26,409
And if things were different,
like if you hadn't passed out
537
00:37:26,577 --> 00:37:29,412
with your pants
around your ankles, who knows?
538
00:37:30,873 --> 00:37:33,166
If we didn't sleep together,
how did I get crabs?
539
00:37:33,334 --> 00:37:35,919
- You got crabs?
- Yeah, you gave me crabs.
540
00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:37,921
I do not have crаbs!
541
00:37:41,425 --> 00:37:44,135
- You don't have crаbs?
- God, no.
542
00:37:44,303 --> 00:37:47,347
But if I do get crabs, I will hunt
you down and kill your crabby ass.
543
00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:51,601
- Then how did I get them?
- I don't know. Maybe a toilet seat?
544
00:37:51,769 --> 00:37:55,772
- (toilet flushes)
- Hey, Paul. Congratulations, man.
545
00:37:58,901 --> 00:38:01,778
- Really? That happens?
- We used to see it a lot in the lab.
546
00:38:01,946 --> 00:38:04,739
- The lab?
- Long story.
547
00:38:07,368 --> 00:38:09,035
She's hot.
548
00:38:10,037 --> 00:38:11,705
(chuckles)
549
00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:16,293
Listen, I'm just hoping,
550
00:38:16,460 --> 00:38:19,546
you know, we're gonna know each other
for the rest of our lives and...
551
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:24,384
- I'm not gonna say anything.
- You say that now, but what if...?
552
00:38:24,552 --> 00:38:27,053
Listen, I'm not gonna screw up
what you and Karen have.
553
00:38:27,221 --> 00:38:29,055
You guys are perfect for each other.
554
00:38:31,225 --> 00:38:34,060
Yeah, that's right. We are.
555
00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:39,983
- Why do you say that?
- God, you are exhausting.
556
00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:44,446
Here, buy this.
You'll like it, trust me.
557
00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:46,990
(¶ Ben Kweller
"How Should It Be (Sha Sha)")
558
00:38:52,121 --> 00:38:55,749
Record store?
I thought she was a tiki dancer.
559
00:38:55,916 --> 00:38:59,085
She's just so cocky, you know?
560
00:38:59,253 --> 00:39:02,922
I mean, I know music.
Come on, I see bands, what...?
561
00:39:04,091 --> 00:39:05,925
Why does she think she knows me?
562
00:39:06,093 --> 00:39:08,136
She doesn't know anything about me.
563
00:39:08,304 --> 00:39:13,683
I'm cool. I wear on-the-edge clothing
and hip stuff.
564
00:39:13,851 --> 00:39:16,186
Hang on. Hi.
565
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:17,937
I'm Jim.
566
00:39:23,402 --> 00:39:24,569
OK.
567
00:39:27,031 --> 00:39:29,282
What's up with that clock?
It still says ten after five.
568
00:39:29,450 --> 00:39:31,409
Oh, dude, that clock just doesn't work.
569
00:39:31,577 --> 00:39:32,827
Never has.
570
00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:43,630
(horn honking)
571
00:39:45,466 --> 00:39:47,759
(man) Asshole!
572
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:50,470
(down-tempo waltz plays)
573
00:39:50,638 --> 00:39:52,138
Yes, that's it.
574
00:39:52,306 --> 00:39:54,808
(indistinct chattering)
575
00:39:57,895 --> 00:39:59,479
- I'm sorry I'm late.
- Finally.
576
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:01,606
- (stammering) I was just...
- Paul, I mean,
577
00:40:01,774 --> 00:40:05,151
this is our last lesson,
and you are 45 minutes late.
578
00:40:05,319 --> 00:40:07,612
Look at everybody else.
They are all better than us.
579
00:40:10,908 --> 00:40:12,575
All right, then let's go.
580
00:40:23,671 --> 00:40:25,797
- Ow! Paul.
- Sorry.
581
00:40:33,305 --> 00:40:37,058
Well, I hope everybody
noticed Karen and Paul.
582
00:40:37,226 --> 00:40:41,187
They are a textbook example
of what not to do.
583
00:40:41,355 --> 00:40:45,817
- (laughter)
- Karen, would you mind?
584
00:40:48,362 --> 00:40:51,322
Oh, Paul. This shouldn't be a chore.
585
00:40:51,490 --> 00:40:54,826
Have some fun out there.
Let go, enjoy yourself.
586
00:40:54,994 --> 00:40:59,247
Now, this time I'm Karen,
and I want to feel your joy
587
00:40:59,415 --> 00:41:03,585
as you fling me...
around that dance floor. OK?
588
00:41:04,378 --> 00:41:05,545
- OK.
- Good.
589
00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:11,050
Now, I am your lady,
and you be my man.
590
00:41:11,218 --> 00:41:14,387
- Karen, music please.
- Mmm...
591
00:41:15,139 --> 00:41:18,266
- Uh! Prepare. One, two, three.
- (waltz plays)
592
00:41:18,434 --> 00:41:20,518
One, two, three.
593
00:41:20,686 --> 00:41:22,896
Good, good.
594
00:41:23,063 --> 00:41:25,899
Very good. That's it.
595
00:41:27,443 --> 00:41:31,279
Watch the pretty lady
as she dances around.
596
00:41:31,447 --> 00:41:33,740
Yes, and yes.
597
00:41:34,783 --> 00:41:38,244
That's it.
We're flying, Paul. Can you feel it?
598
00:41:38,412 --> 00:41:40,163
Everybody!
599
00:41:41,081 --> 00:41:43,291
That's it. Good.
600
00:41:53,636 --> 00:41:57,847
Howard, he is so
damn graceful, isn't he?
601
00:41:59,433 --> 00:42:02,977
Well, he's a dance instructor, Paul.
It's his job.
602
00:42:03,145 --> 00:42:06,940
I just mean a guy with his frame.
You don't see it coming, and then...
603
00:42:07,107 --> 00:42:08,650
Ah!
604
00:42:08,817 --> 00:42:13,029
There's just something magical happens
out on that dance floor, you know?
605
00:42:17,243 --> 00:42:18,952
Paul, seat belt.
606
00:42:20,704 --> 00:42:22,705
People surprise you, is all I'm saying.
607
00:42:22,873 --> 00:42:26,209
Mmm-hmm. Mmm!
Hey, did you book the string quartet?
608
00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:29,462
You know, I was thinking,
maybe we should do something...
609
00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:32,257
I don't know, something
like a band, or something.
610
00:42:32,424 --> 00:42:35,552
A string quartet? I don't know
if that's really our thing.
611
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:38,054
A band, playing
the kind of music we like,
612
00:42:38,222 --> 00:42:40,306
it's a little bit lighter, and...
613
00:42:44,687 --> 00:42:49,107
Or we could stick
with the string quartet, as planned.
614
00:42:49,275 --> 00:42:52,986
(waltz plays)
615
00:42:53,153 --> 00:42:57,699
(Karen) OK, jump out. Chop chop.
I'll go find a spot.
616
00:42:57,866 --> 00:43:01,035
(Paul) Oh, great. (groans)
617
00:43:03,497 --> 00:43:05,415
(man) Hey, lollipop!
618
00:43:06,709 --> 00:43:08,293
(Paul grunts)
619
00:43:09,169 --> 00:43:12,714
OK, breathe. Just a little wind
knocked out of you. There you go.
620
00:43:12,881 --> 00:43:14,591
Bad news, sports fan.
621
00:43:14,758 --> 00:43:17,051
You picked the wrong guy's girl
to fornicate with!
622
00:43:17,219 --> 00:43:21,097
- What?
- See, I'm a cop. Becky belongs to me.
623
00:43:21,265 --> 00:43:24,183
- I think there's a mistake.
- Oh, really?
624
00:43:24,351 --> 00:43:26,477
You see, because I had her followed
625
00:43:26,645 --> 00:43:29,606
and the tail came back
with these photos.
626
00:43:30,107 --> 00:43:31,316
Skinny arms, concave chest.
627
00:43:31,483 --> 00:43:33,610
- Kinda looks like you, don't you think?
- No.
628
00:43:33,777 --> 00:43:36,154
Ow! Shit!
629
00:43:38,365 --> 00:43:41,284
Ho-ho! All these sugary snacks.
630
00:43:42,202 --> 00:43:45,705
Do you actually
put this stuff in your body, huh?
631
00:43:45,873 --> 00:43:47,081
Oh!
632
00:43:47,791 --> 00:43:50,001
(chuckles) OK! All right. Well, see,
633
00:43:50,169 --> 00:43:54,922
you made the biggest
mistake of your life
634
00:43:55,090 --> 00:43:57,383
when you messed with my girl, cupcake.
635
00:43:57,551 --> 00:44:02,055
And mistakes... have consequences.
636
00:44:02,222 --> 00:44:06,726
- Help! Please, somebody!
- (pager beeping)
637
00:44:07,603 --> 00:44:10,730
Hello? (laughs)
638
00:44:10,898 --> 00:44:13,983
Today is your lucky day. Come on.
639
00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:16,778
- Come on.
- I don't even know you.
640
00:44:16,945 --> 00:44:19,322
- (Paul groaning)
- Get in.
641
00:44:20,699 --> 00:44:23,451
- Get in where?
- The Dumpster.
642
00:44:24,119 --> 00:44:25,620
- Really?
- Yeah.
643
00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:27,080
(Paul groans)
644
00:44:28,457 --> 00:44:31,417
(Paul) All right, give me a second here.
645
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,841
(Ray) You know, you sicken me.
646
00:44:40,761 --> 00:44:44,347
(Paul) Hey, I told you,
there's been a mix-up!
647
00:44:45,641 --> 00:44:47,684
- Ow!
- (Karen) Paul?
648
00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:55,608
- Ah!
- Paul! What happened?
649
00:44:55,776 --> 00:44:58,611
(groaning) I was... I was mugged.
650
00:44:58,779 --> 00:45:02,323
Oh, my God. Paul, you're bleeding.
What is all this stuff?
651
00:45:02,491 --> 00:45:06,244
- Chocolate milk and cheese puffs.
- Oh, my God, Paul.
652
00:45:06,412 --> 00:45:09,455
I don't know.
I was carrying the groceries,
653
00:45:09,623 --> 00:45:12,417
and out of nowhere
this guy tries to take them.
654
00:45:12,584 --> 00:45:14,961
But I fought back.
655
00:45:15,129 --> 00:45:17,797
I fought like a tiger.
I had the strength of ten men.
656
00:45:23,971 --> 00:45:25,638
Sweet.
657
00:45:25,806 --> 00:45:27,306
Did you get a good look at him?
658
00:45:28,934 --> 00:45:32,562
Not really, no. It all happened so fast.
659
00:45:33,147 --> 00:45:34,689
What about his hair?
What color was his hair?
660
00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:36,482
- Red.
- Red.
661
00:45:36,650 --> 00:45:39,819
- Dreaded in a way that I've never seen.
- Dreadlocks.
662
00:45:39,987 --> 00:45:42,655
And, um, a gold tooth.
663
00:45:42,823 --> 00:45:46,534
- That is so street.
- Size? Was he a big man? Tall, short?
664
00:45:46,702 --> 00:45:48,244
- What?
- Five-six?
665
00:45:49,663 --> 00:45:52,331
Or six-two.
666
00:45:52,499 --> 00:45:54,041
- Somewhere in there?
- Yeah.
667
00:45:55,002 --> 00:45:57,003
Any identifying marks?
668
00:45:59,298 --> 00:46:03,009
Yeah. A heinous scar.
669
00:46:05,512 --> 00:46:09,766
- Over his left eye.
- Your left eye, sir, or his left eye?
670
00:46:09,933 --> 00:46:12,351
- What?
- You pointed to your right.
671
00:46:12,519 --> 00:46:16,022
Looking at him,
would it be his left eye, or your left?
672
00:46:16,190 --> 00:46:18,858
- Left side, his left side.
- You're sure?
673
00:46:19,026 --> 00:46:23,070
- Yeah.
- Left.
674
00:46:23,238 --> 00:46:25,364
Uh, he had a tattoo,
675
00:46:25,532 --> 00:46:29,827
a barbwire-ish choker tattoo.
676
00:46:29,995 --> 00:46:31,704
Probably gang-related.
677
00:46:32,706 --> 00:46:34,540
- Gangbanger.
- OK.
678
00:46:34,708 --> 00:46:37,502
Was the assailant Caucasian
or non-Caucasian?
679
00:46:39,379 --> 00:46:41,631
- Non.
- Was he black?
680
00:46:41,799 --> 00:46:43,841
- Not necessarily.
- What was he?
681
00:46:44,009 --> 00:46:47,220
- Mix. Black, white.
- Black and white?
682
00:46:47,387 --> 00:46:51,057
- Light-skinned black man.
- Or a dark-skinned white man.
683
00:46:51,225 --> 00:46:55,144
- (Karen) It must have been confusing.
- Did he say anything at all to you?
684
00:46:58,524 --> 00:47:01,025
God, Paul, did he say something to you?
685
00:47:01,193 --> 00:47:03,110
Yeah.
686
00:47:03,946 --> 00:47:07,281
Don't keep that inside. What did he say?
687
00:47:07,449 --> 00:47:10,576
- He said...
- It's OK.
688
00:47:10,744 --> 00:47:15,498
"Give me those groceries, whitey."
689
00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:17,625
(both) "Give me your groceries, whitey."
690
00:47:18,794 --> 00:47:20,753
But he could have been white himself?
691
00:47:21,505 --> 00:47:24,173
- You did say that, sir.
- What's going on here?
692
00:47:24,341 --> 00:47:26,968
Am I on trial? Is that what it is?
693
00:47:27,135 --> 00:47:30,596
I didn't even do anything.
I told you, it happened all so fast...
694
00:47:30,764 --> 00:47:32,890
You're safe. OK, I think that's it.
695
00:47:33,058 --> 00:47:35,268
I think we're done here.
I think that's about it for Paul.
696
00:47:35,435 --> 00:47:39,146
- We're just trying to get the facts.
- We're just trying to do our job.
697
00:47:39,314 --> 00:47:41,691
- OK, good night.
- Thanks.
698
00:47:50,450 --> 00:47:52,994
You poor thing, sweetheart.
699
00:47:53,161 --> 00:47:55,997
Just sit tight. I'm gonna go
get you some aspirin, OK?
700
00:47:56,164 --> 00:47:57,915
Thank you, baby.
701
00:47:58,083 --> 00:48:00,960
(Karen) I'll be interested to see
if the police come up with any leads.
702
00:48:01,795 --> 00:48:04,130
Yeah, you know, honey,
I don't think they will.
703
00:48:04,298 --> 00:48:07,008
A little mugging...
I'm sure they have bigger fish to fry.
704
00:48:07,175 --> 00:48:08,885
But they're good men.
705
00:48:12,097 --> 00:48:13,472
What are these?
706
00:48:15,976 --> 00:48:17,727
Uh... I don't know.
707
00:48:17,895 --> 00:48:21,355
Well, I'll tell you what they are.
They're a pair of women’s underwear.
708
00:48:21,523 --> 00:48:24,901
- I found them in the toilet tank.
- The toilet tank?
709
00:48:25,068 --> 00:48:28,154
Yeah, yeah, the water was leaking,
so I went in there to lift...
710
00:48:31,533 --> 00:48:33,159
What is going on here?
711
00:48:39,333 --> 00:48:42,668
Did you have a girl in this apartment?
712
00:48:42,836 --> 00:48:46,088
Karen! Absolutely not.
713
00:48:47,341 --> 00:48:50,384
Those underwear are yours.
714
00:48:50,552 --> 00:48:53,679
- No, they are not.
- I mean, they were gonna be yours.
715
00:48:53,847 --> 00:48:57,058
I got them for you. Uh...
716
00:48:57,225 --> 00:48:59,477
For your birthday. Enjoy.
717
00:48:59,645 --> 00:49:01,395
Paul, my birthday was three months ago.
718
00:49:01,563 --> 00:49:04,774
I know. But see, then I found
that locket you wanted,
719
00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:06,859
and I gave that to you instead.
720
00:49:07,027 --> 00:49:09,528
I wanted to give these
to you at a later date,
721
00:49:09,696 --> 00:49:13,032
so what I went ahead and did was...
722
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,326
...hide them in the toilet tank.
723
00:49:15,494 --> 00:49:17,078
Why aren't they in a box, Paul?
724
00:49:17,245 --> 00:49:19,705
- Why aren't they in a box?
- Mmm-hmm.
725
00:49:19,873 --> 00:49:22,416
Oddly enough, that's how they came.
726
00:49:22,584 --> 00:49:26,045
I found them in an underwear bin.
727
00:49:26,213 --> 00:49:30,049
A bin? Where do they
sell underwear out of a bin?
728
00:49:32,511 --> 00:49:34,345
Spend Mart.
729
00:49:34,513 --> 00:49:40,476
So you expect me to believe
that you purchased a pair of underwear,
730
00:49:40,644 --> 00:49:43,521
out of a bin, at Spend Mart?
731
00:49:44,523 --> 00:49:45,940
Is that your story?
732
00:49:48,485 --> 00:49:49,652
Yeah.
733
00:49:54,282 --> 00:50:00,162
- Oh, my God. These are dirty.
- What? Oh, that's disgusting!
734
00:50:00,330 --> 00:50:02,748
I can't believe those fuckers
sold me dirty underwear!
735
00:50:02,916 --> 00:50:06,711
That is just wrong. Boy, now I'm
really glad I didn't give them to you.
736
00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:11,632
- I'm hungry. Shall we eat something?
- No, Paul. Listen to me.
737
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:15,720
I am not stupid.
Please tell me what's going on here.
738
00:50:15,887 --> 00:50:19,181
I want you to be totally honest with me.
739
00:50:20,183 --> 00:50:24,103
Did you have a girl in this apartment?
740
00:50:25,355 --> 00:50:28,274
I trusted you, you son of a bitch!
741
00:50:28,442 --> 00:50:30,693
How do you like that?!
742
00:50:31,987 --> 00:50:33,446
No, I did not.
743
00:50:34,740 --> 00:50:36,157
Fine.
744
00:50:39,119 --> 00:50:40,119
What are you doing?
745
00:50:40,287 --> 00:50:41,704
Well, you know,
I am calling Spend Mart.
746
00:50:41,872 --> 00:50:43,330
I think they'd probably wanna know
747
00:50:43,498 --> 00:50:46,000
that they are selling
dirty women's underwear.
748
00:50:46,168 --> 00:50:48,210
Karen, come on.
This whole thing's silly.
749
00:50:48,378 --> 00:50:51,213
I very much doubt they'll admit
they sell dirty underwear.
750
00:50:51,381 --> 00:50:53,841
I'm sure it's against corporate policy.
751
00:50:54,009 --> 00:50:56,260
(phone ringing)
752
00:50:57,554 --> 00:50:59,346
Spend Mart, where you spend less.
753
00:50:59,514 --> 00:51:04,310
Yes, I have a question
regarding your... underwear bins.
754
00:51:06,354 --> 00:51:08,814
- Underwear bins?
- Oh, yeah, see,
755
00:51:08,982 --> 00:51:13,235
my fiance has informed me that he
bought a pair of dirty women's underwear
756
00:51:13,403 --> 00:51:16,781
out of one of your bins, and I just
wanted to hear your thoughts on this.
757
00:51:18,325 --> 00:51:19,909
(man) My... My thoughts?
758
00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:23,996
- On our underwear bins?
- (Karen) Mmm.
759
00:51:25,957 --> 00:51:28,209
These are my thoughts. I'm sick of it.
760
00:51:28,376 --> 00:51:30,544
It's some college kids playin' a prank.
761
00:51:30,712 --> 00:51:33,172
They've been puttin'
dirty underwear in our bins.
762
00:51:33,340 --> 00:51:35,883
- What?
- What did he say?
763
00:51:36,051 --> 00:51:38,511
On behalf of Spend Mart,
I'd like to apologize.
764
00:51:38,678 --> 00:51:42,473
I'll tell you what. Why don't
you and your fiance come on down,
765
00:51:42,641 --> 00:51:46,685
and we'll exchange them
for a fresh pair, or refund your money.
766
00:51:46,853 --> 00:51:49,230
OK? (laughs)
767
00:51:53,026 --> 00:51:56,695
- Poor bastard.
- Underwear bins?
768
00:51:56,863 --> 00:51:58,572
It's a guy thing.
769
00:51:59,950 --> 00:52:01,742
Bullshit!
770
00:52:03,495 --> 00:52:06,705
Paul, I am really sorry.
I feel terrible.
771
00:52:06,873 --> 00:52:08,374
It's OK, honey.
772
00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:10,793
I am a terrible person for accusing you.
773
00:52:10,961 --> 00:52:14,880
- No.
- No, you are so honest.
774
00:52:15,674 --> 00:52:18,884
I don't deserve you. Thank you.
775
00:52:21,888 --> 00:52:24,849
- I love them.
- I knew you would.
776
00:52:25,016 --> 00:52:26,976
(knocking on door)
777
00:52:27,144 --> 00:52:31,564
Let's forget about it, though.
Let's pretend like it never happened.
778
00:52:31,731 --> 00:52:35,484
I love you, you love me.
That's all that really matters.
779
00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:40,197
One sec.
780
00:52:41,783 --> 00:52:44,827
I just got home from work and found
these pictures in my son's room.
781
00:52:44,995 --> 00:52:46,787
He was standing over them...
782
00:52:51,501 --> 00:52:53,085
Are we on the same page?
783
00:52:53,253 --> 00:52:56,088
Don't speak!
784
00:52:56,256 --> 00:53:00,426
In the future, would you find a way
to dispose of your pornography
785
00:53:00,594 --> 00:53:03,554
in such a way that it doesn't wind up
in the hands of little children?
786
00:53:03,722 --> 00:53:06,223
Absolutely. I apologize.
787
00:53:07,058 --> 00:53:10,269
- Who's at the door?
- Um, our neighbor, Mr...
788
00:53:10,437 --> 00:53:13,189
Minister Ferris.
789
00:53:13,356 --> 00:53:15,232
Mr. Minister Ferris.
790
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:17,776
Well, hello.
I'm Karen, Paul's fiancee.
791
00:53:17,944 --> 00:53:22,281
Oh, congratulations.
You move right along, don't you?
792
00:53:22,449 --> 00:53:24,450
Hmm? (clears throat)
793
00:53:24,618 --> 00:53:29,121
Well, uh, Mr. Minister Ferris
just thought he'd stop by
794
00:53:29,289 --> 00:53:31,165
to recommend a TV special.
795
00:53:31,333 --> 00:53:33,959
- (Karen) Oh, wow, that's great.
- Thanks for thinking of us.
796
00:53:34,127 --> 00:53:36,462
- We'll definitely keep that...
- Son.
797
00:53:41,885 --> 00:53:43,677
I've got my eye on you.
798
00:53:47,807 --> 00:53:50,267
(Paul) OK, then.
799
00:53:50,435 --> 00:53:52,728
That was awfully thoughtful of him.
800
00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:55,814
Paul, I think he was
checking out your crotch.
801
00:53:55,982 --> 00:53:58,108
Karen, come on,
he's a man of the cloth.
802
00:53:58,276 --> 00:54:02,613
Let's not rashly accuse him
of being some weird pecker-checker.
803
00:54:02,781 --> 00:54:06,283
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- OK.
804
00:54:11,081 --> 00:54:12,998
Shit.
805
00:54:18,964 --> 00:54:20,256
Paul?
806
00:54:22,175 --> 00:54:23,968
Paul, do you smell smoke?
807
00:54:25,011 --> 00:54:26,220
OK.
808
00:54:26,388 --> 00:54:28,555
- Oh, shit.
- (Karen) Paul?
809
00:54:28,723 --> 00:54:30,641
Is something burning?
I'm smelling smoke.
810
00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:34,311
I lit a match, if you know what I mean.
811
00:54:34,479 --> 00:54:37,314
- (Karen) Do you still have diarrhea?
- Yeah, I do.
812
00:54:41,361 --> 00:54:43,445
(dog barking)
813
00:54:50,954 --> 00:54:53,622
I tell you, you think you got it licked,
814
00:54:53,790 --> 00:54:55,708
it comes right back
to kick you in the butt.
815
00:54:55,875 --> 00:54:58,294
If this keeps up, we're gonna have
to plan our whole wedding day
816
00:54:58,461 --> 00:55:01,839
- around your bowel movements.
- (knocking on door)
817
00:55:21,693 --> 00:55:22,818
(sighs)
818
00:55:33,913 --> 00:55:35,706
(phone rings)
819
00:55:35,874 --> 00:55:38,208
- Hello?
- Hey, Paul, it's Becky.
820
00:55:39,586 --> 00:55:42,546
Uh... Jimmy boy. What's up?
821
00:55:42,714 --> 00:55:44,757
Nothing much, Jimmy boy.
822
00:55:44,924 --> 00:55:48,093
Listen, I got a visit
from my lunatic ex-fiance.
823
00:55:48,261 --> 00:55:50,637
He's got pictures of us together.
824
00:55:50,805 --> 00:55:55,100
Hey, baby. Can I get a gin and tonic,
and maybe you in bed?
825
00:55:55,268 --> 00:55:57,311
Uh, I don't know what
he's gonna do with them,
826
00:55:57,479 --> 00:56:00,939
but he's got a steroid rage problem,
so I'm thinking that's not a good thing.
827
00:56:01,107 --> 00:56:04,276
- That is great news.
- What's goin' on?
828
00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:08,238
- It's Jim. He, uh, got a promotion.
- Wow.
829
00:56:10,617 --> 00:56:12,743
Here's the deal.
Ray's working the night shift.
830
00:56:12,911 --> 00:56:16,121
So I'm thinking we can sneak into his
apartment and get the negatives tonight.
831
00:56:16,289 --> 00:56:19,750
- You're the man, Jim.
- OK, pick me up at ten at the Soho.
832
00:56:19,918 --> 00:56:21,293
- You know where that is?
- Uh-huh.
833
00:56:21,461 --> 00:56:23,253
Great, don't be late.
And bring a flashlight.
834
00:56:23,421 --> 00:56:25,172
Paul, let me talk,
I want to congratulate Jim.
835
00:56:25,965 --> 00:56:27,549
Six bucks.
836
00:56:28,468 --> 00:56:32,638
- I wanted to talk.
- Oh, you did? I'm sorry, I just...
837
00:56:32,806 --> 00:56:35,307
- (phone rings)
- Mmm!
838
00:56:35,475 --> 00:56:38,143
Hello? Oh, Jim,
I'm glad you called back.
839
00:56:38,311 --> 00:56:40,479
Congratulations on the big promotion.
840
00:56:40,647 --> 00:56:43,816
Oh, thanks, Karen.
It was a long time comin'.
841
00:56:43,983 --> 00:56:46,777
Yeah, OK. Here's Paul.
842
00:56:48,947 --> 00:56:50,823
- Jim?
- Paul...
843
00:56:50,990 --> 00:56:55,202
- You're getting better at this, buddy.
- Hang on. Call waiting.
844
00:56:55,370 --> 00:56:57,162
Hello?
845
00:56:57,330 --> 00:57:00,916
Yeah? You're kidding.
846
00:57:09,843 --> 00:57:14,179
Nope. I don't
see him in there. I'm sorry.
847
00:57:15,807 --> 00:57:20,102
Take a good, hard look.
Just take your time.
848
00:57:20,270 --> 00:57:22,396
- Nope, none of these guys.
- Look.
849
00:57:22,564 --> 00:57:25,607
Let's motor. Thank you, gentlemen.
850
00:57:25,775 --> 00:57:29,987
(rock music plays)
851
00:57:32,699 --> 00:57:37,911
(woman on radio) I know he means well,
but I'm ready to get a divorce.
852
00:57:38,079 --> 00:57:42,082
You know, even the gardener
looks good to me at this point...
853
00:57:42,250 --> 00:57:45,210
- (changing radio station)
- Hey, those are my presets.
854
00:57:45,378 --> 00:57:47,546
(¶ Wilco "Kamera")
855
00:57:48,548 --> 00:57:52,009
- Hey. Who's that?
- That's me. It's for the wedding video.
856
00:57:52,177 --> 00:57:55,554
- You were wearing knee socks?
- That's a uniform.
857
00:57:55,722 --> 00:57:58,223
That was a requirement of the troop, OK?
858
00:57:58,391 --> 00:58:01,059
Whoa! Hat man!
Look at you in that fedora.
859
00:58:01,227 --> 00:58:03,770
You know, not every kid
can pull that look off.
860
00:58:03,938 --> 00:58:07,524
All right? My mom said
I looked like Indiana Jones.
861
00:58:07,692 --> 00:58:09,193
Your mom loved you very much.
862
00:58:20,580 --> 00:58:23,916
- OK, this is it. We gotta be quick.
- Let's lock and load.
863
00:58:31,090 --> 00:58:33,550
OK, someone is always
expecting someone.
864
00:58:34,260 --> 00:58:35,928
The trick is figuring out who.
865
00:58:41,434 --> 00:58:44,102
(buzzers sounding)
866
00:58:44,270 --> 00:58:46,897
- (man) Who's there?
- (man 2) Hands off the buzzer, man.
867
00:58:47,065 --> 00:58:49,441
- (man 3) Hello?
- (man) I told you leave the buzzer...
868
00:58:49,609 --> 00:58:52,819
- (door buzzing)
- (voices clamoring on speaker)
869
00:58:57,033 --> 00:58:58,325
(man) Brian, is that you?
870
00:59:04,415 --> 00:59:07,417
(panting heavily)
871
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:15,759
(whispering) Holy shit.
872
00:59:15,927 --> 00:59:19,513
You didn't mention that Ray had a dog.
What if he wakes up?
873
00:59:19,681 --> 00:59:23,141
(whispering) Oh, yeah.
I forgot to mention that part.
874
00:59:23,309 --> 00:59:26,728
Let's just be quiet and get the pictures
and get out of here.
875
00:59:29,274 --> 00:59:30,482
(floorboard creaking)
876
00:59:48,876 --> 00:59:51,587
What the hell is this?
877
00:59:51,754 --> 00:59:53,630
- I found them.
- (shattering)
878
00:59:53,798 --> 00:59:55,632
(dog growling)
879
01:00:02,682 --> 01:00:06,268
- (snarling)
- Wait, what's his name?
880
01:00:06,436 --> 01:00:07,769
Little Ray.
881
01:00:09,230 --> 01:00:12,733
- We should run.
- Go, go, go!
882
01:00:12,900 --> 01:00:16,028
OK, right here. Hurry, close it!
883
01:00:16,195 --> 01:00:17,738
(barking)
884
01:00:20,033 --> 01:00:22,743
- OK, we can handle this.
- (barking)
885
01:00:22,910 --> 01:00:25,704
It's only a dog.
I gotta be smarter than a dog, right?
886
01:00:26,497 --> 01:00:28,749
Uh... OK, calm down.
887
01:00:28,916 --> 01:00:32,377
(barking)
888
01:00:32,545 --> 01:00:35,756
Watch this. Ready, Little Ray?
889
01:00:37,634 --> 01:00:38,592
(snarling)
890
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:41,928
- (Becky) Good throw. Yeah.
- We're screwed.
891
01:00:45,224 --> 01:00:47,184
- (Paul) What are we gonna do?
- (Becky) Good question.
892
01:00:47,352 --> 01:00:49,686
(Paul) We're actually stuck in this
bathtub. It could be two hours.
893
01:00:49,854 --> 01:00:52,522
Ray's gonna come home and take
a shower and find us in his bathtub...
894
01:01:06,788 --> 01:01:08,538
- You're upset.
- What?
895
01:01:08,706 --> 01:01:11,124
Plus, you're on my foot.
Oh, God, it's asleep.
896
01:01:11,292 --> 01:01:13,418
I gotta take my boot off. Help me out.
897
01:01:13,586 --> 01:01:14,628
Seriously?
898
01:01:21,928 --> 01:01:26,223
- (Becky sighs)
- Wow, that is one weird-looking foot.
899
01:01:28,518 --> 01:01:30,602
Didn't stop you
from trying to sleep with it.
900
01:01:32,730 --> 01:01:35,273
You know what Karen's gonna do
when she finds out about this?
901
01:01:35,441 --> 01:01:37,859
- I have a pretty good idea.
- She's gonna call off the wedding.
902
01:01:38,027 --> 01:01:41,279
- Her dad's gonna fire me.
- Maybe getting fired by Uncle Kenny
903
01:01:41,447 --> 01:01:42,948
wouldn't be the worst thing
in the world.
904
01:01:43,116 --> 01:01:45,450
- It's a good job.
- Yeah? You like it?
905
01:01:45,618 --> 01:01:48,203
I sell ad space in hunting
and recreation magazines.
906
01:01:48,371 --> 01:01:50,956
- What's not to like?
- Wow.
907
01:01:51,124 --> 01:01:54,668
Um, excuse me. Not everybody
can just do whatever they want.
908
01:01:54,836 --> 01:01:58,046
You work five different jobs.
That's not the way real life works.
909
01:01:58,214 --> 01:02:01,466
- Phew! Oh, do you smell that?
- What?
910
01:02:01,634 --> 01:02:04,469
Fear. You've got
the smell of fear all over you.
911
01:02:06,639 --> 01:02:08,765
All right, can we switch, please?
912
01:02:13,813 --> 01:02:17,274
- What about you?
- I'm trying some stuff out.
913
01:02:17,442 --> 01:02:19,943
I'd rather do that than get stuck
doing something I don't love.
914
01:02:21,154 --> 01:02:23,321
You know, I've never been
in a bathtub with a girl before.
915
01:02:23,489 --> 01:02:25,323
It's not so bad, is it?
916
01:02:26,951 --> 01:02:28,201
No.
917
01:02:31,456 --> 01:02:33,123
Hey, I've got an idea.
918
01:02:33,291 --> 01:02:36,501
OK, if I slide this door open
919
01:02:36,669 --> 01:02:38,670
at the same time
that you slide that door open,
920
01:02:38,838 --> 01:02:42,591
we can jump out this one
while the dog hops in that one. OK?
921
01:02:42,759 --> 01:02:46,219
- OK.
- (growling)
922
01:02:46,387 --> 01:02:49,973
- Come on, Little Ray. Huh? You ready?
- (Becky) OK. Ready?
923
01:02:50,141 --> 01:02:53,393
- (baby talk)
- (barking)
924
01:02:55,146 --> 01:02:58,940
- (Little Ray growling)
- (Paul growling)
925
01:03:01,110 --> 01:03:04,654
- One, two, three.
- (Becky screaming)
926
01:03:04,822 --> 01:03:05,947
(Paul screaming)
927
01:03:07,909 --> 01:03:10,535
Oh, who's the tough dog now?
928
01:03:11,996 --> 01:03:13,789
(Paul) Wait, why aren't we
going out the front door?
929
01:03:13,956 --> 01:03:15,373
- (Becky) I'll tell you later.
- (Paul) Oh, I get it.
930
01:03:15,541 --> 01:03:18,460
- Take the fire escape, like on TV.
- (Becky) Shh!
931
01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:22,464
- (Becky whispers) Keep your voice down.
- (Paul) I can do this. All right...
932
01:03:24,217 --> 01:03:25,884
- (Paul) Come on, let's go.
- (Becky) I can't.
933
01:03:26,052 --> 01:03:27,052
I'm afraid of heights.
934
01:03:27,220 --> 01:03:28,887
What? You just
walked down all these stairs.
935
01:03:29,055 --> 01:03:31,389
- Yeah. This is different.
- It's OK. Come on.
936
01:03:31,557 --> 01:03:34,559
- Let's go. We gotta go.
- OK. OK.
937
01:03:34,727 --> 01:03:36,228
Just hold on to the rаil.
938
01:03:37,980 --> 01:03:40,232
- You got it?
- (Becky yelps)
939
01:03:40,399 --> 01:03:43,235
You see? It drops down.
940
01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:54,204
- See? That wasn't too bad, was it?
- Yeah, it was fun.
941
01:03:54,372 --> 01:03:55,372
OK, let's go.
942
01:04:01,921 --> 01:04:03,547
(Paul) I can't believe I pulled it off.
943
01:04:03,714 --> 01:04:05,465
- (Becky) We. We pulled it off.
- (Paul) We.
944
01:04:05,633 --> 01:04:08,260
We could have been stuck
in that tub for hours.
945
01:04:08,427 --> 01:04:10,262
And I saved your life
on the fire escape.
946
01:04:10,429 --> 01:04:11,388
Uh-huh.
947
01:04:11,556 --> 01:04:13,265
You're pretty good at this.
Have you done this before?
948
01:04:13,432 --> 01:04:15,642
Oh, I love this hill! Hit the gas.
949
01:04:15,810 --> 01:04:17,435
- What? Here?
- Go. Trust me.
950
01:04:17,603 --> 01:04:20,272
- All right.
- Go, go!
951
01:04:20,439 --> 01:04:21,565
OK...
952
01:04:24,777 --> 01:04:25,735
(both laughing)
953
01:04:25,903 --> 01:04:29,197
Oh, my God! That was unbelievable!
954
01:04:29,365 --> 01:04:31,324
I've never done anything like that!
955
01:04:31,492 --> 01:04:34,202
- (Paul) Can we do that again?
- (Becky) Sure.
956
01:04:45,047 --> 01:04:48,508
- (Paul) That was fun.
- Yeah, yeah. Good times.
957
01:04:49,468 --> 01:04:52,512
I just never thought I'd do anything
like that, you know? Just...
958
01:04:53,973 --> 01:04:56,850
God, it was just amazing.
You know, in the car...
959
01:04:57,018 --> 01:04:58,685
Ow! (laughs)
960
01:04:58,853 --> 01:05:02,147
- Anyway...
- So I'll see you...?
961
01:05:02,315 --> 01:05:03,982
At the rehearsal dinner.
962
01:05:05,860 --> 01:05:06,860
OK.
963
01:05:09,322 --> 01:05:11,489
Becky?
964
01:05:11,657 --> 01:05:14,075
You and Ray, how'd that happen?
965
01:05:14,243 --> 01:05:16,411
You mean, how did I end up
with a psycho?
966
01:05:17,288 --> 01:05:19,831
- Yeah.
- What can I say? Bad taste.
967
01:05:19,999 --> 01:05:21,791
Well... (chuckles)
968
01:05:21,959 --> 01:05:24,169
There aren't too many winners
like me out there.
969
01:05:26,172 --> 01:05:28,965
You know, you joke,
but you really are a good guy.
970
01:05:30,134 --> 01:05:31,718
Guys like you are hard to find.
971
01:05:35,806 --> 01:05:37,265
Good night.
972
01:05:38,351 --> 01:05:40,518
(speaking Chinese)
973
01:05:54,867 --> 01:05:59,663
(¶ The Shins "One By One All Day")
974
01:05:59,830 --> 01:06:01,539
(siren wails)
975
01:06:03,042 --> 01:06:07,212
Oh, shit. You gotta be kidding me.
976
01:06:07,380 --> 01:06:09,381
(siren wails)
977
01:06:24,063 --> 01:06:25,355
Hi.
978
01:06:26,732 --> 01:06:30,193
I caught him with over an ounce of blow
on his passenger seat.
979
01:06:30,361 --> 01:06:32,445
That oughta put him away for a while.
980
01:06:32,613 --> 01:06:35,740
Yeah, great bust, Ray.
Go on out and celebrаte.
981
01:06:35,908 --> 01:06:38,159
Oh, hey, Ernie, don't be afraid
to rough him up a little.
982
01:06:38,327 --> 01:06:39,828
He likes it.
983
01:06:50,923 --> 01:06:52,590
What?
984
01:06:52,758 --> 01:06:55,218
How about you start
from the beginning, huh?
985
01:06:55,386 --> 01:06:57,887
What beginning?
I was driving. He pulled me over,
986
01:06:58,055 --> 01:07:00,265
he put the drugs in my car,
and now I'm here.
987
01:07:00,433 --> 01:07:03,435
- What do you mean?
- (laughing)
988
01:07:04,437 --> 01:07:09,274
It wasn't working right, so I panicked
'cause I had to be somewhere,
989
01:07:09,442 --> 01:07:13,111
and so I ran out,
and that was the dance lesson.
990
01:07:13,279 --> 01:07:16,740
Yeah, we know. With Howard.
991
01:07:19,118 --> 01:07:22,954
That Howard...
So incredibly graceful.
992
01:07:25,833 --> 01:07:27,500
(woman) You fellas can go.
993
01:07:28,753 --> 01:07:30,962
- Who are you?
- Internal Affairs.
994
01:07:31,130 --> 01:07:34,632
You were pulled over last night
by Ray Donovan. Is that correct?
995
01:07:34,800 --> 01:07:38,303
- Yeah, but I didn't...
- Do us a favor and shut up, OK?
996
01:07:38,471 --> 01:07:41,639
- We know you didn't do anything.
- Really?
997
01:07:41,807 --> 01:07:45,977
- Mmm-hmm.
- Oh, my God. So I can go home?
998
01:07:46,145 --> 01:07:47,645
(snickering)
999
01:07:48,647 --> 01:07:51,483
It's not that simple.
See, you need to do something for us.
1000
01:07:51,984 --> 01:07:56,654
No. I am getting married tomorrow.
OK? I have a rehearsal...
1001
01:07:56,822 --> 01:08:00,492
Listen here, string bean.
We don't care what you want.
1002
01:08:00,659 --> 01:08:04,079
- 'Cause this is about what we need.
- (woman) Yeah.
1003
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:07,999
(man on radio) Remember, also,
to keep calm and cheerful.
1004
01:08:08,167 --> 01:08:11,169
Don't let petty things annoy you
and get you off course.
1005
01:08:11,337 --> 01:08:12,921
No one wants to be a failure.
1006
01:08:13,089 --> 01:08:15,423
No one wants a life
constantly filled with worry,
1007
01:08:15,591 --> 01:08:19,177
fear, frustration.
Therefore, remember...
1008
01:08:20,054 --> 01:08:22,138
(sighs) Oh, my God.
1009
01:08:22,306 --> 01:08:24,015
Shit, shit, shit...
1010
01:08:36,904 --> 01:08:39,072
(down-tempo waltz plays)
1011
01:08:40,908 --> 01:08:42,200
Hey, mister.
1012
01:08:44,912 --> 01:08:47,163
- Oh, shit!
- (answering machine beeps)
1013
01:08:47,331 --> 01:08:50,708
(Jim) It's Jim. Where the hell are you?
1014
01:08:50,876 --> 01:08:54,295
- (beeping)
- (Pete) Paul, this isn't cold feet?
1015
01:08:54,463 --> 01:08:55,421
(beeping)
1016
01:08:55,589 --> 01:08:58,508
(Karen) Paul, I'm really confused.
Are you all right?
1017
01:08:59,552 --> 01:09:00,677
(beeping)
1018
01:09:00,845 --> 01:09:04,430
(Pete) OK, so I guess I'll go ahead
and stand in for you.
1019
01:09:04,598 --> 01:09:06,558
Maybe we'll see you
at the rehearsal dinner.
1020
01:09:12,731 --> 01:09:16,860
There he is. Where you been, buddy?
Karen's got her nuts in a bunch.
1021
01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:20,488
- (Buck) Here he is!
- (all chattering indistinctly)
1022
01:09:20,656 --> 01:09:24,200
Sorry I'm late. I know, I know.
1023
01:09:25,744 --> 01:09:27,996
- Hi, baby.
- Hi.
1024
01:09:28,164 --> 01:09:32,083
Well, here you are.
About time, too. Hello.
1025
01:09:42,636 --> 01:09:44,679
(Jeff) Hey, there's my man.
1026
01:09:47,016 --> 01:09:50,101
- How did you do this?
- Oh, it was nothin'.
1027
01:09:50,269 --> 01:09:53,813
I thought we'd start with tomato boats
with the little pickle skippers,
1028
01:09:53,981 --> 01:09:56,232
then the asparagus a la Toastette,
1029
01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:59,235
and to wrap it all off,
I got a little roasted rosemary chicken,
1030
01:09:59,403 --> 01:10:02,280
comes out with a nice crispy skin there,
and it's all moist...
1031
01:10:03,282 --> 01:10:05,366
- OK...
- Thank you.
1032
01:10:09,455 --> 01:10:12,916
- Are you OK?
- I think so.
1033
01:10:15,169 --> 01:10:18,129
- Just a little tired.
- OK.
1034
01:10:18,297 --> 01:10:21,341
But this is un... This is incredible.
1035
01:10:21,508 --> 01:10:25,053
This is... amazing.
1036
01:10:26,430 --> 01:10:28,348
Nice guy.
1037
01:10:28,515 --> 01:10:31,893
(¶ Spoon "You Gotta Feel It")
1038
01:10:33,312 --> 01:10:37,899
And, uh... just in case
Mom's recipe disappoints.
1039
01:10:38,067 --> 01:10:41,486
- (Karen) You missed the rehearsal.
- (Paul) I was stuck in traffic.
1040
01:10:41,654 --> 01:10:44,030
- (Karen) Traffic?
- Yeah, 50 minutes...
1041
01:10:45,032 --> 01:10:48,660
Paul, this is Minister Green.
1042
01:10:48,827 --> 01:10:52,330
Let's pray you don't get
stuck in traffic tomorrow, Paul.
1043
01:10:52,498 --> 01:10:55,708
From your mouth to God's ears. (laughs)
1044
01:10:58,003 --> 01:11:00,630
I have to tell you, Paul,
that I've put a lot of thought
1045
01:11:00,798 --> 01:11:02,173
into tomorrow's ceremony.
1046
01:11:02,341 --> 01:11:05,843
It will be somber, sacred,
1047
01:11:06,011 --> 01:11:10,974
a reminder of what
the true meaning of marriage is.
1048
01:11:11,141 --> 01:11:14,018
- That's nice.
- I'm looking forward to it.
1049
01:11:14,186 --> 01:11:17,230
Okey-dokey, dinner's ready. OK...
1050
01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:20,900
Ken, you go over there.
Honey, come over here.
1051
01:11:21,068 --> 01:11:23,361
- So, Kenny...
- Huh?
1052
01:11:23,529 --> 01:11:27,573
- What do you think of the condo?
- It's, uh, it's great.
1053
01:11:27,741 --> 01:11:31,661
- It... It's got a lot of... character.
- Charаcter.
1054
01:11:31,829 --> 01:11:35,123
When I gave up the bachelor pad,
I said to Dorothy,
1055
01:11:35,291 --> 01:11:40,586
"I'll move in with you under one
condition: it's gotta reflect my style."
1056
01:11:42,298 --> 01:11:44,549
Huh? The Duke.
1057
01:11:46,218 --> 01:11:49,846
- Signed by the artist.
- Hold on a minute, son.
1058
01:11:50,723 --> 01:11:54,225
This is juice. I'd prefer the wine.
1059
01:11:54,393 --> 01:11:57,061
(stuttering) I'm sorry, ma'am.
Mrs. Cooper...
1060
01:11:57,229 --> 01:12:00,231
Well, I don't care what you were told.
1061
01:12:00,399 --> 01:12:04,402
Oh, I'm strong
for an old lady, aren't I?
1062
01:12:05,404 --> 01:12:07,739
- Yes, ma'am.
- Wine, please.
1063
01:12:11,744 --> 01:12:14,454
(Karen) Paul, honey, you look
very handsome tonight.
1064
01:12:14,621 --> 01:12:16,914
I love that sweater on you.
1065
01:12:17,082 --> 01:12:19,792
- Thanks.
- It's very sharp.
1066
01:12:21,211 --> 01:12:24,464
- Are you having fun?
- (both) Absolutely.
1067
01:12:25,591 --> 01:12:28,926
- Great party.
- I know, and it's all for us.
1068
01:12:29,094 --> 01:12:30,303
Yeah.
1069
01:12:30,471 --> 01:12:32,555
OK, we'll, I'm gonna slip off
to the powder room, OK?
1070
01:12:32,723 --> 01:12:35,433
OK, go ahead. I'll be here.
1071
01:12:37,936 --> 01:12:40,021
- She's very sweet.
- Yeah, I know.
1072
01:12:44,151 --> 01:12:45,568
(clears throat)
1073
01:12:57,122 --> 01:12:59,290
I'll be right back.
1074
01:13:01,335 --> 01:13:03,920
OK, check this out.
1075
01:13:05,756 --> 01:13:06,714
What is that?
1076
01:13:06,882 --> 01:13:08,549
The cops are onto Ray.
They're making me wear this.
1077
01:13:08,717 --> 01:13:11,010
They're sitting outside right now,
listening.
1078
01:13:11,178 --> 01:13:13,137
- Oh, cool.
- (blowing)
1079
01:13:13,305 --> 01:13:14,347
(feedback)
1080
01:13:14,515 --> 01:13:16,474
(Becky) Check, check one.
One-Adam, 12-one-Adam.
1081
01:13:16,642 --> 01:13:18,684
Twelve-Breaker-one-nine,
this is Ex-Tiki Dancer...
1082
01:13:18,852 --> 01:13:21,813
- Who is she?
- Some idiot.
1083
01:13:21,980 --> 01:13:26,484
- What are you doing?
- (laughs) Oh, my God. Sorry.
1084
01:13:26,652 --> 01:13:28,653
I'm wearing a wire.
What are we gonna do?
1085
01:13:28,821 --> 01:13:32,949
- (¶ The Oakridge Boys "Bobbie Sue")
- This gravy is absolutely heavenly.
1086
01:13:33,117 --> 01:13:35,952
Somebody's... (groans)
You know what I'm sayin'?
1087
01:13:36,120 --> 01:13:40,164
- (laughing) I... I suddenly realized...
- Ah!
1088
01:13:40,332 --> 01:13:43,626
- ...the entire universe...
- I was a surfer.
1089
01:13:43,794 --> 01:13:47,171
- (laughs) I had a long board.
- (laughing)
1090
01:13:47,339 --> 01:13:50,883
You know what a real mark
of greatness is? It's the Duke.
1091
01:13:51,051 --> 01:13:53,010
(imitating John Wayne)
Why, thank ya, pilgrim.
1092
01:13:53,178 --> 01:13:54,804
(laughing)
1093
01:13:54,972 --> 01:14:00,518
Out there, ridin' on the horse,
man versus nature versus himself.
1094
01:14:00,686 --> 01:14:03,479
'Cause man fights
his own self to find out...
1095
01:14:03,647 --> 01:14:06,858
Everybody? Everyone? (clears throat)
1096
01:14:08,068 --> 01:14:11,154
- I'd like to propose a toast.
- Hey!
1097
01:14:17,035 --> 01:14:20,413
To the chicken.
Man, how good is that stuff, huh?
1098
01:14:20,581 --> 01:14:23,791
- (all clamoring)
- We like that chicken.
1099
01:14:23,959 --> 01:14:29,088
The story of how
Paul and Karen got together
1100
01:14:29,256 --> 01:14:31,382
is old news to pretty much everybody,
1101
01:14:31,550 --> 01:14:34,927
but I like to tell it,
because it gives me a chance
1102
01:14:35,095 --> 01:14:37,805
to remind my brother
that I am the one responsible
1103
01:14:37,973 --> 01:14:40,057
for all of his future happiness.
1104
01:14:40,225 --> 01:14:43,102
That's right, because
she started talking to me first.
1105
01:14:43,270 --> 01:14:44,228
(both laughing)
1106
01:14:44,396 --> 01:14:47,315
And if I had not been
married at the time,
1107
01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:52,028
I would have whisked her
out of that bar so fast,
1108
01:14:52,196 --> 01:14:55,072
it would've straightened out that perm
that she thought looked so good.
1109
01:14:55,240 --> 01:14:57,408
(laughing)
1110
01:15:04,416 --> 01:15:08,753
I knew right then that Karen
was a special woman.
1111
01:15:08,921 --> 01:15:14,592
She's the kind of woman
who helps a guy figure out the answers,
1112
01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:18,095
that she would make
an incredible partner
1113
01:15:18,263 --> 01:15:24,268
- and a wonderful wife and mother.
- (inaudible)
1114
01:15:24,937 --> 01:15:27,563
The minute I saw her,
I knew that she would be the one.
1115
01:15:29,983 --> 01:15:34,445
And that Paul would be a happy man
for the rest of his days.
1116
01:15:34,613 --> 01:15:36,822
So I raise my glass to Karen.
1117
01:15:36,990 --> 01:15:40,368
I wish both her and my brother
all of the happiness in the world.
1118
01:15:40,536 --> 01:15:43,996
- Hear, hear!
- (all chattering)
1119
01:15:44,164 --> 01:15:46,415
(Buck) Well done, Pete.
1120
01:15:46,583 --> 01:15:50,461
Well done. Nice job.
1121
01:15:50,629 --> 01:15:55,341
(¶ Tony Orlando & Dawn
"Knock Three Times")
1122
01:15:56,385 --> 01:15:59,053
- Do you like that, padre?
- It's got a great beat.
1123
01:16:00,556 --> 01:16:03,266
Here's the same thing, only backwards.
1124
01:16:03,433 --> 01:16:05,726
(playing record backwards)
1125
01:16:07,813 --> 01:16:10,314
That's Satan, man!
1126
01:16:10,482 --> 01:16:12,024
Comin' at ya.
1127
01:16:13,610 --> 01:16:16,696
(Karen) I cannot believe
you mentioned the night we met.
1128
01:16:16,863 --> 01:16:18,698
When are you ever gonna
let me live that down?
1129
01:16:18,865 --> 01:16:21,200
Come on, I mean, how many stories
do I have about attrаctive women
1130
01:16:21,368 --> 01:16:24,412
- hitting on me in bars?
- Well, I don't know.
1131
01:16:24,580 --> 01:16:27,999
Maybe when cute married guys
don't wear wedding rings,
1132
01:16:28,166 --> 01:16:30,001
that is the risk they take.
1133
01:16:30,168 --> 01:16:32,378
You know, I actually remember the song
1134
01:16:32,546 --> 01:16:34,672
that was playing on the jukebox
the night that we met.
1135
01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:36,215
Me, too.
1136
01:16:36,383 --> 01:16:39,635
Wait, you remember the song
that was playing the night I met Karen?
1137
01:16:39,803 --> 01:16:41,679
Oh, yeah, it's one of those songs
that sticks in your head
1138
01:16:41,847 --> 01:16:43,848
and ruins years of your life.
1139
01:16:44,016 --> 01:16:45,850
Oh, no, Pete, you are surely mistaken.
1140
01:16:46,018 --> 01:16:48,811
Islands in the Stream is a great song.
1141
01:16:48,979 --> 01:16:50,688
(Pete) Wait. What does the line...
1142
01:16:50,856 --> 01:16:54,483
¶ Well, we rely on each other
1143
01:16:54,651 --> 01:16:55,985
¶ Uh-huh
1144
01:16:56,153 --> 01:16:57,194
What does that mean?
1145
01:16:57,362 --> 01:17:01,449
Uh, it means they've just
come to realize something,
1146
01:17:01,617 --> 01:17:05,453
that they rely on each other,
and as they realize that, they say...
1147
01:17:05,621 --> 01:17:07,413
¶ Uh-huh
1148
01:17:07,581 --> 01:17:09,707
No, what they realize
is that the music was still going,
1149
01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:13,377
and they'd run out of lyrics, so they
had to make up some nonsense syllables.
1150
01:17:13,545 --> 01:17:16,297
- No, Pete, you're killing me.
- Excuse me.
1151
01:17:16,465 --> 01:17:18,299
That is a beautiful song... Yeah.
1152
01:17:18,467 --> 01:17:21,218
Oh, wait, no, but I remember
what you were wearing that night.
1153
01:17:21,386 --> 01:17:24,889
You looked so cute, and your eyelashes?
I thought you had mascara on.
1154
01:17:25,057 --> 01:17:27,058
- Hey, Mom.
- Oh, hi, honey.
1155
01:17:27,225 --> 01:17:31,187
- You got a second?
- Sure, baby. It's your night. What?
1156
01:17:32,898 --> 01:17:35,274
- You and Buck.
- Yeah?
1157
01:17:35,442 --> 01:17:39,528
- You're pretty happy, huh?
- Oh, yeah, very happy.
1158
01:17:39,696 --> 01:17:42,406
I mean, your stepfather's different.
He's very different,
1159
01:17:42,574 --> 01:17:45,951
but you know what, sweetie?
There's just something about him.
1160
01:17:46,119 --> 01:17:50,456
He... gets me. He lets me be myself.
1161
01:17:50,624 --> 01:17:52,750
I've never been happier, honey.
1162
01:17:54,044 --> 01:17:55,920
One, two, three, draw.
1163
01:17:56,088 --> 01:17:58,422
- I got ya.
- I think she got ya.
1164
01:17:58,590 --> 01:18:02,176
(laughs) I've never been happier.
1165
01:18:35,836 --> 01:18:39,463
(Ray) Who do you have to know to get
a little Grey Poupon around here?
1166
01:18:41,258 --> 01:18:42,258
Ray!
1167
01:18:44,010 --> 01:18:47,596
It's you, in my apartment,
making a sandwich.
1168
01:18:47,764 --> 01:18:51,142
You know, it wouldn't kill you
to keep a little lettuce in the crisper.
1169
01:18:51,309 --> 01:18:54,103
Uh, no, it wouldn't, Ray, I know. Uh...
1170
01:18:54,271 --> 01:18:56,772
Ray's here. He's coming.
He's here. He's right there.
1171
01:18:56,940 --> 01:19:00,276
I don't know what you did
to get your butt outta jail,
1172
01:19:00,444 --> 01:19:04,613
but you think you're the only
slippery guy I've ever dealt with, huh?
1173
01:19:04,781 --> 01:19:06,031
No, Ray.
1174
01:19:06,199 --> 01:19:09,118
Do you think
planting evidence is all I got?
1175
01:19:10,078 --> 01:19:11,787
I got a whole bag of tricks!
1176
01:19:12,914 --> 01:19:15,499
Including kicking your ass.
1177
01:19:16,668 --> 01:19:18,627
You know what?
1178
01:19:18,795 --> 01:19:20,546
Yeah. Bring it on.
1179
01:19:21,465 --> 01:19:23,883
Oh, OK.
1180
01:19:24,885 --> 01:19:26,343
Oh!
1181
01:19:26,511 --> 01:19:28,387
A gift? (laughs)
1182
01:19:28,555 --> 01:19:30,890
Well, how do you like this package, Ray?
1183
01:19:31,057 --> 01:19:33,184
(grunting)
1184
01:19:36,855 --> 01:19:38,189
Yo' mama!
1185
01:19:39,357 --> 01:19:42,651
- What did you just say?
- What? Uh...
1186
01:19:44,654 --> 01:19:49,200
Uh, Ray, I'm gonna have to ask you
to leave now, seriously.
1187
01:19:49,367 --> 01:19:51,535
That's a death lock.
You ain't gettin' outta that.
1188
01:19:53,079 --> 01:19:54,747
This is good.
1189
01:19:54,915 --> 01:19:57,541
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah, shoot.
1190
01:19:58,418 --> 01:20:00,795
How do you cheat on a girl like Becky?
1191
01:20:02,339 --> 01:20:08,093
I mean, how do you cheat on a girl
who's funny and beautiful?
1192
01:20:08,261 --> 01:20:12,932
Who speaks fluent Chinese,
who's afraid of heights?
1193
01:20:13,099 --> 01:20:14,892
Which is kinda sweet.
1194
01:20:15,060 --> 01:20:18,604
Such a bad dancer, and those feet...
1195
01:20:20,315 --> 01:20:21,732
- Hey.
- A girl who... Oh, sorry.
1196
01:20:21,942 --> 01:20:25,444
- Police! Freeze or we'll shoot!
- Ray's here.
1197
01:20:25,612 --> 01:20:28,113
- Where were you guys?
- You're goin' away for a long time.
1198
01:20:29,241 --> 01:20:33,160
Wha...? Hey. For makin' a sandwich?
1199
01:20:33,328 --> 01:20:35,162
We'll take the tape now, Paul.
1200
01:20:36,832 --> 01:20:41,335
- Oh, wow, uh...
- Hold on. You were wired?
1201
01:20:43,922 --> 01:20:45,923
Yeah, Ray, I was.
1202
01:20:51,555 --> 01:20:53,806
- Son of a bitch!
- (shouts)
1203
01:20:54,808 --> 01:20:57,601
- Get him.
- Get off me!
1204
01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:03,107
- Thanks for your help.
- (Ray) Yeah, big man! Wearing a wire!
1205
01:21:10,407 --> 01:21:13,242
(church organ plays "Wedding March")
1206
01:21:32,137 --> 01:21:33,637
(Pete) This is a disaster.
1207
01:21:33,805 --> 01:21:36,473
We didn't all wear bow ties
to school when we were 13.
1208
01:21:36,641 --> 01:21:38,601
I was eccentric. It was a phase.
1209
01:21:40,020 --> 01:21:44,481
- Are you OK?
- Am I OK? Hmm. Let me see, Pete.
1210
01:21:44,649 --> 01:21:48,611
Well, I woke up with a tiki dancer
in my bed six days ago.
1211
01:21:48,778 --> 01:21:50,988
Then found out
she was my fiancee's cousin.
1212
01:21:51,156 --> 01:21:53,824
Then I got mugged
by her psycho cop ex-boyfriend.
1213
01:21:53,992 --> 01:21:57,328
That's right, cop. Then I broke into
his apartment and stole his property,
1214
01:21:57,495 --> 01:21:59,622
which is a felony, of course.
Then I got arrested,
1215
01:21:59,789 --> 01:22:01,206
but not for breaking and entering,
1216
01:22:01,374 --> 01:22:03,208
which is probably
what you were thinking.
1217
01:22:03,376 --> 01:22:06,128
No, for cocaine possession.
Oh, and as a bonus,
1218
01:22:06,296 --> 01:22:09,048
- I got crabs from a toilet seat.
- That's bad.
1219
01:22:09,215 --> 01:22:11,050
- I got rid of 'em, Pete.
- Yeah.
1220
01:22:11,217 --> 01:22:13,677
Shit, I forgot to book the
string quartet. Gimme your phone.
1221
01:22:15,388 --> 01:22:17,514
It's gonna be fine.
It's all gonna work out.
1222
01:22:17,682 --> 01:22:20,601
You and Karen are
gonna be together, which is...
1223
01:22:20,769 --> 01:22:22,019
...the most important thing.
1224
01:22:22,187 --> 01:22:25,564
- Because she is...
- Pete, don't start, please.
1225
01:22:26,399 --> 01:22:28,359
- Yeah? Yo!
- Jim!
1226
01:22:28,526 --> 01:22:31,987
- I forgot to book the string quartet.
- Jimmy anticipated as much,
1227
01:22:32,155 --> 01:22:35,074
- and I got ya covered.
- Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
1228
01:22:35,241 --> 01:22:36,533
Late.
1229
01:22:38,495 --> 01:22:40,746
- He's on it.
- See? Everything's gonna be fine.
1230
01:22:40,914 --> 01:22:43,499
- How do I look?
- Great. See you out there.
1231
01:22:43,667 --> 01:22:45,209
All right, thanks.
1232
01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:54,510
Oh, my God. (sighs)
1233
01:22:54,678 --> 01:22:56,553
(toilet flushes)
1234
01:23:04,646 --> 01:23:07,231
Ken! Uh, Mr. Cooper, I didn't...
1235
01:23:07,399 --> 01:23:10,734
Were you in that stall
the whole time there?
1236
01:23:11,569 --> 01:23:13,529
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
1237
01:23:15,281 --> 01:23:17,616
I'm gonna overlook what I've just heard.
1238
01:23:18,284 --> 01:23:21,078
I believe that you love my daughter.
1239
01:23:22,539 --> 01:23:26,959
And in spite of everything, Paul,
you're gonna make her happy.
1240
01:23:29,379 --> 01:23:31,463
- Am I right?
- Yeah, I can explain...
1241
01:23:31,631 --> 01:23:34,091
I don't wanna hear it.
What's done is done.
1242
01:23:34,259 --> 01:23:36,051
But sir, I didn't
actually do anything...
1243
01:23:36,219 --> 01:23:37,553
Paul, forget it.
1244
01:23:38,471 --> 01:23:41,765
We're men. We're hunters.
1245
01:23:44,269 --> 01:23:45,769
It happens.
1246
01:24:04,330 --> 01:24:05,456
Here.
1247
01:24:06,875 --> 01:24:08,417
It's a butter dish.
1248
01:24:09,002 --> 01:24:11,962
- And I just gave away the surprise.
- Thanks.
1249
01:24:14,299 --> 01:24:17,426
Listen, I know that a lot of weird...
1250
01:24:17,594 --> 01:24:20,345
...fun weird... things
have happened recently...
1251
01:24:20,513 --> 01:24:22,931
You know all that stuff
I said about taking chances?
1252
01:24:24,642 --> 01:24:28,020
That was all bullshit.
You're a great guy.
1253
01:24:29,439 --> 01:24:33,192
And Karen's a great girl,
so congratulations.
1254
01:24:34,235 --> 01:24:35,903
See you in there.
1255
01:24:41,451 --> 01:24:44,244
(indistinct chattering)
1256
01:24:44,412 --> 01:24:47,372
- (man) Hey, Buck.
- Hey, how are ya?
1257
01:24:47,540 --> 01:24:49,708
- Pretty big deal.
- Hi, Sandy.
1258
01:24:52,504 --> 01:24:54,046
- Sorry.
- Music all set?
1259
01:24:54,214 --> 01:24:55,798
- It's all good.
- You're a little late.
1260
01:24:55,965 --> 01:24:59,176
Yeah, sorry.
Tonya, you know? Chicks.
1261
01:24:59,344 --> 01:25:03,138
- You brought Tonya?
- Uh, yeah, yeah.
1262
01:25:03,306 --> 01:25:06,850
I figured I'd throw her a bone
before I dumped her.
1263
01:25:07,018 --> 01:25:09,478
- Yeah.
- (Tonya) Hi, Jim.
1264
01:25:09,646 --> 01:25:11,396
I need my lipstick, baby. Where is it?
1265
01:25:11,564 --> 01:25:13,690
(laughs)
1266
01:25:13,858 --> 01:25:17,694
Oh! What the heck?
How'd that get in there?
1267
01:25:18,446 --> 01:25:20,197
- Hey, Paul.
- Hi.
1268
01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:22,699
We met at your bachelor party.
I'm Tonya.
1269
01:25:22,867 --> 01:25:26,203
- Yeah, I remember.
- You... (laughs)
1270
01:25:26,371 --> 01:25:30,207
You didn't warn me
about this cuddle monkey. (laughs)
1271
01:25:30,375 --> 01:25:33,502
All week he's been writing me poems
and sending me flowers...
1272
01:25:33,670 --> 01:25:36,046
- Whoa! Tonya, ix-nay on the oem-pays.
- We had known each other
1273
01:25:36,214 --> 01:25:38,882
two days and he was giving me
the keys to his apartment.
1274
01:25:39,050 --> 01:25:42,219
- Really?
- Yeah. (laughs)
1275
01:25:43,429 --> 01:25:45,222
I love you, cuddle monkey.
1276
01:25:46,432 --> 01:25:49,852
I love you, too... honey bear.
1277
01:25:50,019 --> 01:25:53,897
- (laughs)
- OK, good luck.
1278
01:25:55,275 --> 01:25:59,778
- Maybe I love her a little bit.
- You ready? Let's do this.
1279
01:25:59,946 --> 01:26:01,822
Oh, I almost forgot.
The minister's sick.
1280
01:26:01,990 --> 01:26:03,448
Something about the food last night.
1281
01:26:03,616 --> 01:26:06,785
What are you talking about, Pete?
Who's gonna marry us?
1282
01:26:06,953 --> 01:26:10,539
(church organ plays)
1283
01:26:15,295 --> 01:26:16,378
Showtime.
1284
01:26:16,546 --> 01:26:19,381
(¶ Buddy Scott Trio "Born Free")
1285
01:26:24,053 --> 01:26:27,097
- Who are they?
- What the hell is that?
1286
01:26:27,265 --> 01:26:29,057
¶ As the wind blows
1287
01:26:29,225 --> 01:26:30,934
Howard!
1288
01:26:31,936 --> 01:26:35,772
I know, it's rock and roll,
but we just need to find the beat.
1289
01:26:39,611 --> 01:26:43,280
What do you think?
Pretty sweet, huh? Pete?
1290
01:26:43,448 --> 01:26:45,073
- Howard, is this really necessary?
- Take my arm.
1291
01:26:45,241 --> 01:26:46,909
- I don't think so.
- Take it!
1292
01:26:47,076 --> 01:26:50,662
¶ Each time you look at a star
1293
01:26:50,830 --> 01:26:53,290
So pretty.
1294
01:26:53,458 --> 01:26:57,294
I'm Daddy's little girl,
and you are my great big man.
1295
01:26:57,462 --> 01:26:59,796
Now, take me, hold me tight.
1296
01:26:59,964 --> 01:27:01,215
¶ Roaring tide
1297
01:27:01,382 --> 01:27:05,260
¶ So there's no need to hide
1298
01:27:05,428 --> 01:27:08,096
One, two... Now, fly...
1299
01:27:08,264 --> 01:27:10,140
- Ow!
- Oh, sorry. Sorry, dear.
1300
01:27:11,976 --> 01:27:14,144
You're flying, sweeties!
Can you feel it?
1301
01:27:21,069 --> 01:27:22,653
¶ Stay free
1302
01:27:22,820 --> 01:27:27,199
¶ Where no walls divide you
1303
01:27:27,367 --> 01:27:29,701
¶ You're free as the roaring tide
1304
01:27:29,869 --> 01:27:33,330
¶ So there's no need to hide
1305
01:27:35,375 --> 01:27:37,292
¶ Born free
1306
01:27:37,460 --> 01:27:41,129
¶ And life is worth living
1307
01:27:41,297 --> 01:27:44,258
- ¶ But only worth living...
- (whistles)
1308
01:27:50,181 --> 01:27:53,517
Paul, is this some kind of joke?
This is so embarrassing.
1309
01:27:53,685 --> 01:27:57,187
I tried... Look, people like them.
It's not that bad.
1310
01:27:57,355 --> 01:28:01,525
- Oh, God, it sounds like a clambake.
- I had no choice. I forgot...
1311
01:28:01,693 --> 01:28:04,027
I gave you one thing to do. What does
everyone care about this music?
1312
01:28:04,195 --> 01:28:06,989
- Why didn't you get a band?
- I didn't do it!
1313
01:28:07,156 --> 01:28:08,740
- (Karen) I asked you to...
- Hey!
1314
01:28:12,495 --> 01:28:14,329
Dearly beloved...
1315
01:28:15,540 --> 01:28:19,543
We are gathered here today
in the sight of God...
1316
01:28:22,380 --> 01:28:25,757
...in order to join this woman, Karen,
1317
01:28:25,925 --> 01:28:29,261
and this... man...
1318
01:28:30,054 --> 01:28:32,723
...Paul, in holy matrimony.
1319
01:28:32,890 --> 01:28:35,892
If there is anyone here today
1320
01:28:36,060 --> 01:28:39,396
who believes that these two
should not be joined
1321
01:28:39,564 --> 01:28:42,232
for all eternity...
1322
01:28:44,027 --> 01:28:47,738
...let him speak now,
or forever hold his peace.
1323
01:28:59,042 --> 01:29:02,919
I'm just gonna give you another
minute or so to think about that.
1324
01:29:06,090 --> 01:29:07,758
Anybody?
1325
01:29:09,761 --> 01:29:12,471
Really, anyone at all,
anyone with a reason.
1326
01:29:17,769 --> 01:29:20,270
And it doesn't even have
to be a good reason, you know.
1327
01:29:20,438 --> 01:29:23,190
If anyone even
has a whisper of a feeling...
1328
01:29:24,317 --> 01:29:27,778
...that's enough. That's good enough.
1329
01:29:31,783 --> 01:29:34,951
- I do.
- (all gasping)
1330
01:29:36,746 --> 01:29:38,580
(Sandra yelps)
1331
01:29:44,170 --> 01:29:47,631
Hi, I'm Paul.
1332
01:29:47,799 --> 01:29:49,925
(all) Hi, Paul.
1333
01:29:50,093 --> 01:29:54,513
I think I need to tell you all something
before we go any further.
1334
01:29:55,765 --> 01:29:57,057
Paul?
1335
01:29:59,477 --> 01:30:01,436
(sobbing) What's happening?
1336
01:30:01,604 --> 01:30:04,314
I've done some things this past week
that I'm not proud of.
1337
01:30:06,651 --> 01:30:08,110
And people kept telling me,
1338
01:30:08,277 --> 01:30:11,154
"Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it, it's normal."
1339
01:30:12,365 --> 01:30:16,493
But... I think they're wrong.
1340
01:30:17,662 --> 01:30:20,747
And I'm going down a road I don't like.
1341
01:30:20,915 --> 01:30:25,168
I don't wanna be that guy,
you know what I mean?
1342
01:30:25,336 --> 01:30:27,087
This is like an AA meeting.
1343
01:30:28,339 --> 01:30:31,633
I was talking about fear
1344
01:30:31,801 --> 01:30:34,970
the other day, with someone,
1345
01:30:35,138 --> 01:30:40,308
and it made me realize that I can't
remember the last time I'd been afrаid.
1346
01:30:40,476 --> 01:30:42,686
I mean, really afraid.
1347
01:30:43,729 --> 01:30:47,524
See, I've been playing it safe.
Everything I do is safe.
1348
01:30:49,944 --> 01:30:53,697
And marrying Karen?
1349
01:30:53,865 --> 01:30:56,491
Come on, that's not scary at all.
1350
01:30:59,912 --> 01:31:02,164
She's beautiful,
1351
01:31:02,331 --> 01:31:04,207
she's funny,
1352
01:31:04,375 --> 01:31:08,378
she's smart,
she's perfect in so many ways.
1353
01:31:09,547 --> 01:31:13,717
But deep down,
we're not right for each other.
1354
01:31:14,552 --> 01:31:16,887
(all gasping)
1355
01:31:17,054 --> 01:31:19,347
(sobbing) Oh, God. Oh, no.
1356
01:31:20,850 --> 01:31:24,060
Now, see, saying that was scary.
1357
01:31:39,160 --> 01:31:41,953
(sighs) Mr. Minister Ferris?
1358
01:31:43,664 --> 01:31:45,040
Yes, Paul?
1359
01:31:46,375 --> 01:31:50,253
I don't think Karen and I
should be joined for all eternity.
1360
01:31:50,421 --> 01:31:52,297
(all murmuring)
1361
01:31:52,465 --> 01:31:54,966
(Sandra sobbing)
1362
01:31:55,927 --> 01:31:57,802
(Pete) ¶ Uh-huh
1363
01:31:59,430 --> 01:32:01,515
What's that, Pete?
1364
01:32:03,684 --> 01:32:07,270
I just realized something
about somebody and it made me say...
1365
01:32:07,438 --> 01:32:09,272
¶ Uh-huh
1366
01:32:09,440 --> 01:32:12,442
OK, that's great, but I'm kinda
in the middle of something here.
1367
01:32:15,530 --> 01:32:18,156
¶ Islands in the stream
1368
01:32:18,783 --> 01:32:21,117
¶ That is what we are
1369
01:32:22,119 --> 01:32:24,829
¶ No one in between
1370
01:32:25,790 --> 01:32:28,083
¶ How could we be wrong?
1371
01:32:29,293 --> 01:32:31,962
¶ Sail away with me
1372
01:32:32,755 --> 01:32:35,257
¶ To another world
1373
01:32:35,424 --> 01:32:39,135
¶ 'Cause we rely on each other
1374
01:32:40,471 --> 01:32:42,138
(both) ¶ Uh-huh ¶
1375
01:32:43,432 --> 01:32:45,850
What I realized is that
I'm in love with Karen.
1376
01:32:46,018 --> 01:32:47,602
(laughing)
1377
01:32:47,770 --> 01:32:51,648
- What the hell is goin' on here?
- Shut your gob and sit down.
1378
01:32:51,816 --> 01:32:53,900
Now, this is a wedding.
1379
01:32:56,320 --> 01:33:00,031
Paul, would you mind
if I asked Karen to marry me?
1380
01:33:00,199 --> 01:33:03,118
- Uh...
- Thank you. Karen?
1381
01:33:03,911 --> 01:33:06,246
I mean, Pete, God, I'd have to...
1382
01:33:06,414 --> 01:33:11,418
Not right here, not right now,
but maybe after a few dates.
1383
01:33:13,629 --> 01:33:15,964
Oh, Pete. (laughs)
1384
01:33:16,132 --> 01:33:18,008
(all murmuring)
1385
01:33:22,013 --> 01:33:25,223
(applause)
1386
01:33:25,391 --> 01:33:27,183
(sobbing)
1387
01:33:30,730 --> 01:33:33,023
- Oh!
- (all gasping)
1388
01:33:33,190 --> 01:33:37,611
- It's OK! I'm OK!
- (all cheering)
1389
01:33:50,207 --> 01:33:51,875
These are the days.
1390
01:33:58,382 --> 01:33:59,883
(sighs)
1391
01:34:08,017 --> 01:34:10,894
Well, Kenny, the good news is
we're still gonna be in-laws.
1392
01:34:11,062 --> 01:34:13,647
Huh? (grunts)
1393
01:34:36,045 --> 01:34:37,253
(indistinct chattering)
1394
01:34:49,934 --> 01:34:53,103
Becky! Hey!
1395
01:34:59,819 --> 01:35:00,944
Becky!
1396
01:35:02,279 --> 01:35:05,782
- (horns honking)
- Hey!
1397
01:35:11,247 --> 01:35:13,248
(man) Hey, lady,
did you forget somebody?
1398
01:35:14,250 --> 01:35:16,584
- Becky!
- Stop the cab!
1399
01:35:16,752 --> 01:35:19,629
(horns honking)
1400
01:35:21,465 --> 01:35:22,924
(man) Asshole!
1401
01:35:27,304 --> 01:35:29,305
- Hi.
- Hi.
1402
01:35:30,307 --> 01:35:34,144
I was gonna wait for you, but...
You were great in there.
1403
01:35:34,311 --> 01:35:36,354
(panting) Listen.
1404
01:35:36,522 --> 01:35:38,481
I just...
1405
01:35:38,649 --> 01:35:41,276
I think I just figured
something out back there.
1406
01:35:41,444 --> 01:35:46,448
Whoo! Because what I said...
1407
01:35:46,615 --> 01:35:49,617
...I don't think I would have been
able to say if it wasn't for you.
1408
01:35:51,328 --> 01:35:56,166
And... it also made me
realize something else.
1409
01:35:57,710 --> 01:35:59,294
What?
1410
01:36:01,088 --> 01:36:02,380
This.
1411
01:36:08,262 --> 01:36:12,015
(cheering, applause)
1412
01:36:26,322 --> 01:36:29,449
- Paul?
- Yeah?
1413
01:36:35,706 --> 01:36:38,833
(¶ Ringo Starr "Blink")
1414
01:36:55,226 --> 01:36:56,726
(man) Where to, whitey?
1415
01:37:04,276 --> 01:37:06,861
(tires screeching)